#and they remove all his interesting parts

[shycoconutt]

“S–hic–so full, Ken,” you whimper as the last ropes of his cum spill out into your insides. You have never felt a sensation like this before, being absolutely filled to the brim with all of what Nanami Kento has to offer.

You feel the deep hum Nanami lets out in response everywhere–his overwhelming being currently consuming your own. Currently mounted over you, he holds you up by the plush of your ass so your hips are lifted to meet his thrusts. Your body is so contorted that your knees fall and press against your shoulders with every piston of his cock. How the hell did you even end up in this position?

“Oh darling, fuck, I missed you so much,” he moans as he languidly pushes his cock in and out of your sopping wet pussy. You watch as his abdomen flexes with every thrust, and you can’t help but marvel at how the low light of your bedroom reflects on his glistening, sweat-slicked skin. Eyes trailing upward, you soak in the constellation of freckles on his shoulders, the swell of his deltoid muscles, the way his damp hair falls forward, messy and unkempt after rounds of orgasms.

Another one of his moans snaps you out of your trance, and you focus your eyes to meet his blown-out, lust-filled gaze. Instinctually, your walls clench at the sight, and your eyes widen in horror when you realize it’s too late.

“Tsk,” he smirks as he breaks his gaze from your own to down where you’re both connected, “she’s so greedy, begging for more after all I’ve given her.”

One of his hands leaves your ass to swipe a thumb against your sensitive clit, causing you to gasp and clench again. “Should I give her what she wants, sweetheart?”

“I-I don’t think there’s any more room, Ken, you’ve filled me up so much,” you mewl.

His eyes flick up again as your words trail off, and you can’t help but notice how the intention behind them has changed, looking as if he has been given a new life–a new meaning. Reaching somewhere behind him, he fiddles around until he finds what he’s looking for–his phone.

Slowly, he shifts backwards to release himself from your gushing heat, being careful to not let any of his seed spill from your folds. He groans as his tip finally slips out and quickly grabs your hand to press against your opening.

“Yeah, just like that, hold it all in for me,” he praises. 

You feel your heartbeat quicken, curious and interested. Climbing off the bed, he stands off to the side and holds out his hand, beckoning you to join him, which you do without question.

“There we go, pretty girl, stand right here for me.”

Following his request, you stand before him with your hand still pressed up against yourself. You feel yourself tremble, not in worry, but in anticipation of what’s to come. Nanami must have taken note, because he is now grazing his fingers up and down the skin of your shoulder.

Leaning in close, lips ghosting over your own, he whispers, “Do you trust me?”

“Always, Ken.”

Your heart flutters as he smiles and kisses you, tongue slipping from his parted mouth to swipe your lower lip. With one final peck, he keeps eye contact with you as he kneels, light pooling into the room from the flashlight of his phone.

You hear a little ding, signaling that he is recording.

“Do you remember what you said to me, baby?” he murmurs, voice filled with love and adoration as he points the camera up to you while his other hand rests against your lower tummy. 

“W-what I said?” you stutter, mind trying to think back to moments ago.

“Yes.”

You try to think, mind still in a daze. What you said?

Oh.

Ah.

So this is what he wants.

Looking at the camera, eyes blinded by the light, you pout, “I don’t think there’s any more room, Ken, you’ve filled me up sooo much.”

You hear a soft groan, and the light moves down your body to your lower half. 

“Show me.”

Slowly, you remove your hand from your core, a mix of your cum and his already pooling at your fingertips, to place your hand above his own on your abdomen. You don’t have to look down to confirm–hot liquid is already dripping down your thighs at an intense rate.

You jolt and gasp when you feel his firm hand pressing into your body, a fresh new wave of semen spilling from your insides. There’s so much–maybe too much–as it trickles past your knees. There’s another groan that escapes from Nanami’s lips.

“Good girl.”

Your body is trembling, your pussy fluttering around nothing, just wanting so badly to be filled again and again. Would it be so bad to ask for more?

a/n: well, well, well, here we are again. what can I say? nanami kento is always on my mind. hope you enjoy! ੈ♡˳

[threeacttragedy]

Entry 5 – The One About the Distorted Phone Screen that Sent Half the Fandom into the Ocean

I had no intention of writing about last week’s phone screen debacle, mainly because I found it obnoxious and a smidge infuriating. Not because I believed Jake to be on the phone screen but because people were SO QUICK TO BELIEVE it was Jake on the phone screen.

Honestly, I didn’t even need to see the “cleaned up” version of the picture because I would have sworn then – and would still swear now – it was Luke on the screen. White guy, dark hair, left hand touching his face (or, as it’s been suggested, removing sunglasses), signaling to me that the person in the photograph was left hand dominant. Add that in with all the information Luke and Nicola have laid out before us over the past three months (and, honestly, probably even before that) and there is no other answer: it’s Luke. The end, right? Nope, not even close. Like I mentioned in yesterday’s blog, we’re not allowed to have nice things.

The image comes from a video of Golda giving Nicola her WOTY award. People started taking screen grabs and dropping it into apps that claimed to clean up blurry images.

*Fun fact – I did this once to the picture of Nicola on the boat in Malta. I used three separate apps, in fact, and each time I got this frightening image of Nicola back. Do you remember the scene in Shrek where he picked up a frog and blew it into a balloon for Fiona? The frog’s eyes protruded out and his face was all puckered. That’s what I got back from these apps – a bulging-eyed monstrosity that looked nothing like Nicola. It was froggin’ weird (my Colin-Dad joke of the day), especially since, in the original image, you couldn’t even see her eyes as she appeared to be looking down at her phone.

Okay, back to what I was blabbing about…

People started adjusting the lighting on the screen grab of Nicola’s phone to extreme levels. And, there were even rumors flying around that people had superimposed Jake’s face on to the image and sent it out into the black abyss that is social media. I think I saw six different versions of the image within the first four hours of it dropping on X.

But, guess what, each time, I still saw Luke. Well, I take that back. One time, I swear I saw Johnny Bailey, which, if that had been true, I would have given Nicola a huge round of applause for being so hilariously catty about it all.

My advice, if you want to see the picture, pull it yourself. Go to YouTube, take a screen grab of it, and figure it out on your own. Do not put it through an app and don’t play with the lighting so much that it distorts the image. You may have noticed that I did not repost any of those images here. That was intentional. Form your own opinion about it.

Now that we have that out of the way – the part about me believing it was Luke on the phone screen and me suggesting you form your own opinion about it – I’ll move on to why I decided to write about this topic today.

It was because Luke did something yesterday that piqued my interest.

It wasn’t anything necessarily out of the ordinary. But, it also kind of was.

Simone Ashley posted to her grid yesterday a series of photographs. There’s nothing special here; she’s a beautiful woman putting her lovely image out into this world. It was the last picture in this slide deck that left me intrigued, though. It’s a picture of Simone – but, at the bottom left of the image, is a damn phone screen. Initially, I was a little confused by the image on the phone screen because it appeared to be Simone’s hands but also not Simone’s hands. What it was, is that the angle of the phone made the angle in which the image was depicted slightly different. Why not crop that phone out of it? Or, use a different image? Okay, whatever. I’m not sure I would have thought much of it – except Luke liked the post.

Why would this activate my little grey cells? Because it’s the first post of Simone’s in over a year that he has liked without Nicola also liking it. All throughout 2024, Luke has only liked the posts also liked by Nicola. Now, Nicola could very easily come back and like this post today or tomorrow or a week from now. She does like Simone’s posts frequently and, by Simone’s own words, Nicola and Simone are close. But, remember what I mentioned the other day. It’s the little changes that make people start giving the side eye. When taken collectively, Simone’s post, Luke’s like on the post, and the recent phone screen debacle seem, well, fucking connected in a damn funny way.

Kinda? Maybe?

I swear, I’m becoming one of those people who now plays Six Degrees to Lukola. What have I become?!

But, hey, let’s keep playing this game because, you have to admit, it IS kind of fun to speculate.

On November 10, Netflix UK dropped a post to its grid captioned “ME AND WHO???? [red heart]” The first slide in the deck is of Colin and Penelope’s wedding kiss – the one where Luke had his eyes open – and there is a red heart drawn between their chests (awe, their hearts). The remaining seven slides also include kissing couples but the red heart is drawn around their heads. The Luke and Nicola (like how I used Luke and Nicola, not Colin and Penelope this time?) picture stands out in this deck. It’s the first slide and the red heart is different than the others. And, what about that caption: “ME AND WHO????” Well, it's definitely NOT Nicola and Jake.

Is it a bit too far down the Delulu Rabbit Hole to believe Netflix would be in on a dig about “Who’s on Nicola’s phone screen?”

Perhaps.

But, remember this is also the same parent company that dropped “Nicola and Luke’s Cutest Moments” on August 28 (via Bridgerton Netflix IG), right smack dab in the middle of the Jake Festival Pap Disaster. Do you remember that? The fandom was bouncing all over the place. New festival pictures of Nicola and Jake had dropped the day before. Shondaland had also dropped a “Friends to Lovers” story that seemed oddly like Luke and Nicola. Melissa Dezarate dropped old Luke and Nicola pictures on her IG stories. Then, on August 28, Bridgerton Netflix dropped its “Cutest Moments,” and Melissa Dezarate shared more Luke and Nicola pictures on her IG stories. The “Cutest Moments,” pretty much entirely on its own (the rest was just extra frosting), turned our day right side up again. I salute you, Netflix.

Are we burrowing deeper into the Rabbit Hole? Meh. Let’s keep going.

Also on November 10, we had Dougie posting a mirror / elevator selfie to his grid with the caption, “I know it’s out of focus don’t tell me that.” Maybe he means something, maybe he doesn’t. Any ways, Jake liked this post. Now, I will admit, in the beginning of this Jake Side Story Extravaganza, I wasn’t keen on Dougie. He seemed aggressive on X – especially after those New York pap pictures dropped – but then I realized that his annoyance might be due to the narratives being spread about Jake, i.e., that he was being “hard launched” with Nicola. Recall that within a few hours of the Jake London Pap Disaster, Dougie posted to his stories an image of Jake looking at his phone with the “Mike/Sully Face Swap” meme superimposed over Jake’s face. If you research what this meme means, you’ll find that it is similar to a face-palm reaction or used for “overly ironic situations that leave you confused and perplexed.” Kind of funny, right? You’re welcome to take Dougie however you please, but over the past few weeks, I’ve become rather fond of him. He seems like a mischievous bloke, which is right up my alley.

I always have this feeling that the USS Lukola is surrounded by people who, after the ship hits a rogue wave, help to steer it back on course. The “people” come in the form of Nicola and Luke; cast, crew and friends; interviewers with their old edited-out snippets; and Netflix & Co. I’m sure I’m failing to name someone.

I shall wrap this post up with a quote from Jonathan Van Ness – who, by the way, is one of the most entertainingly funny and intelligent humans to watch. Earlier this week, JVN posted to his IG stories and Tiktok about “bobs.” With JVN, I never really know if he is being serious with what he puts out there or if we’re expected to read between the lines. Regardless, his comment was impactful to me:

“All this shit is just someone on Tiktok decided this was going to be the new name and tried to make that a trend. And that’s cool and that’s great and I love that. I just don’t want y’all getting confused. You know what I’m saying? This is just another variation of a bob.”

Take that as you please.

[jeonstudios]

fontana di trevi | 02

you seek out a vampire to help you with something.

pairing: vampire!jk x sadgirl, blood donor!reader

genre: vampire au, angst, fluff (really a sadgirl fic lol)

word count: 9k

warnings: same as last time basically: blood, needles, suicidal thoughts and intentions

rating: NC-17 – Adults Only

masterlist

part 2/2

<previous | next>

© between takes is copyright jeonstudios. this fic can not be modified, re-posted, or translated without my permission.

“Thanks,” you smile politely as you close the car door, hearing the Uber drive off behind you. The walk up to the house is no different than last time, yet it definitely feels different. Both because of what happened almost a week ago, but also since you’re hoping this will be the last time.

What certainly is different is the surprised look on the vampire’s face as he opens the door to see you standing there with your hands in the pockets of your winter coat.

He himself is wearing a black hoodie, and once again, black shorts. His hair looks a little messier than how you’re used to seeing it. Almost like he’s been sleeping. Vampires don’t sleep, though, do they?

“I… didn’t think you’d show,” he admits honestly, nonetheless opening the door wider for you, and as you enter, you can’t help but think that he looks… almost cuddly.

Of course, he still gives off the usual intimidating aura, and he should probably be even scarier to you considering what happened last time you met him, but… you don’t know. Perhaps you’re just so deprived of human touch that a bloodthirsty vampire’s cold embrace seems inviting.

This time, he waits in the hallway while you step out of your shoes and remove your coat. 

“Yeah, I still want this. I just… wasn’t prepared,” you explain rather vaguely, knowing that he understands exactly what you’re getting at anyway. You want to die but on your terms.

“It wasn’t my intention. To do what I did.”

You meet his eyes. It’s not an outright apology, but it feels eerily close to one.

“You were there to… feed, weren’t you?”

He nods. “Didn’t get the chance to on Thursday or Friday.”

It’s your turn to nod in understanding. For a short moment, you stand there, looking at each other. 

Until you break the silence. “So, can we start?”

“Sure,” he agrees, turning around to head toward the kitchen.

Like the first time you showed up to his house when he didn’t think you were going to, he has to bring the supplies from wherever he keeps them. You take your spot at the table, slip off your cardigan, and wait.

The vampire returns with his hands full, placing the stuff down on the table before he pulls out another chair and positions it the same way as always. But his focus lies on your skin.

“These are new bruises?” he asks, carefully grasping your hand and very gently lifting it to better inspect the yellowing marks covering your skin. “You always bruise like this after?”

You follow his gaze. There are currently three bruises on your right arm, none the same as the night he almost killed you. Two are yellow and from when you bumped into a dresser at home a few days ago. The third is purple but smaller and its origin a mystery. If he wanted to see bruises, he should’ve seen the ones on your legs after you fell when he attacked you.

“Not the first time, but yeah. Usually just from the needle site, but lately, it’s all over. I guess I’m a little deficient in something,” you joke quietly, but the vampire doesn't laugh. 

“Why does it interest you so much? Do you have some kind of medical degree?” you ask, thinking back to when he first asked you why you didn’t wonder about his apparent knowledge.

“Not officially, but being dependent on humans like we are to some extent, you tend to pick up on stuff, and having been around as long as I have, it’s even more unavoidable. But I’ve never seen bruising this severe from blood loss.”

Fair enough. Your body should definitely try to keep the little blood remaining inside your veins, where it belongs. 

He starts prepping your arm, but instead of looking away, you close your eyes. Are you imagining things or has he been… softer lately? Making sure you got home safely instead of leaving you to your fate, almost worrying about your bruises, and being gentler in the way he attaches the needle? Then again, he’s only making sure you can give him as much blood as possible, and he also would’ve probably killed you if he’d gotten ahold of you last week.

“I take it you’ve killed before?” 

There’s a few seconds of silence, but then he answers, and there’s nothing hidden in his words or voice that reveals something more.

“I have.”

“How do you…,” you start, unsure of how to phrase your question. “I mean, what do you do… after?”

“Are you asking…?”

“How do you… dispose of them? And… I guess, how will you dispose of… me?”

It’s not really a sensitive question for you, so you’re not sure for whose sake you’re so careful. You doubt the vampire really cares.

You hear him exhale. “I guess it depends on the circumstances. I haven’t planned anything.”

You wince when he sticks you, more painful this time for some reason. The ball is placed in your hand like always, and you start to squeeze it.

Your curiosity isn’t that dire, so you’re not disappointed by his answer. Maybe he’s not even being honest, and it’s for your sake? Which brings you back to why he’s being extra gentle. The only other explanation you can think of is that he feels sorry for you. Maybe he just truly wants to spare you unnecessary pain and worry in the last moments of your pathetic life? Because this is it. With how shitty you’ve been feeling these last couple of weeks and especially since last time, you know it won’t be long. Today’s the day.

One bag. He can take one bag and after that he’ll have to end it. That way, you don’t have to bleed out, and he’ll get as much blood as possible. If he takes your advice about how to drain the rest, well, that’s up to him.

You’re startled by the sound of knocking, opening your eyes to see the vampire rise from his chair, seemingly sharing your surprise. “I’ll be back in a minute.”

Nodding, you close your eyes again, getting as comfortable as you can in the chair while wondering who’s at the door. A vampire friend? A vampire partner? Surely, he doesn’t hang out with humans on the regular? You always got the impression, both from him and vampires in pop culture, that they don’t really care for humans. In fact, a dirty human only pesters a vampire’s environment unless they’re actively dying.

Your heart hurts. It’s beating heavily inside your chest, a feeling you’ve grown somewhat used to over the weeks, but it feels undeniably worse. Like every beat is a painful and exhausting accomplishment. Your breaths grow heavier too. 

Surely, it’s been more than a minute. Is he on his way back? If he were a human, chatting with another human at the front door, maybe you would’ve heard them, but you can’t discern anything. 

It feels a little like your head’s in the clouds, and you’re not sure if your eyes are still closed or if they’re open and you just can’t see anything. You have a feeling that not only can’t you hear the vampire, you can’t hear anything anymore.

Realizing that this is it, you try to call for him quietly to tell him so, but although you’re pretty certain you’re dying, for some reason, you don’t want to interrupt whatever he’s doing with his visitor.

“Fine, alright, I’ll talk to him, but please, this is not a good time.”

“But he’s being an ass, and you were the last person he spoke to before he left for fucking Iceland.”

Jeongguk rolls his eyes at his friend, Yuqi. With how much she and Taehyung love each other, there’s a surprising amount of drama. 

“I don’t wanna get involved. I’ll call him later.”

“Fine, get back to me after. If he doesn’t answer, I’m taking the first flight.”

“Vampire?”

Yuqi, who was just about to turn around to leave, stops in her tracks.

“What… was that?” she asks, standing still before discreetly scenting the air. “Is that… blood?”

Jeongguk’s eyes widen. He’s used to smelling blood whenever you’re there to leave it, but not this much. Quickly, and without regard to Yuqi, he turns to rush back into his kitchen, eyes going even wider at the vision in front of him.

“Vampire?” you call out quietly again from the chair, eyes closed and unknowing of his return. You seem out of it, bordering on unconscious, and it’s not without reason. Jeongguk curses himself for not double checking the blood bag when he knows that brand is prone to ripping because the bag isn’t full; it’s broken, and your blood is dripping into a big puddle of red on the floor.

You think… you’re being… carried? By someone firm and… warm. You like that.

“I’m not warm," a low voice comments. "At least I’m not supposed to be.”

“I’m dying… right?” you mumble, feeling how the vampire puts you down on something soft.

“Probably, yeah.”

He does something to your arms, and you can’t figure out what, but you realize it has something to do with collecting the remaining blood when you’re gone.

There’s another voice.

Next time you open your eyes, you feel… different. And upset. You’re not as dizzy as you’ve become accustomed to, and the room doesn’t spin when you sit up on the bed. Your body hurts, but it feels more like you’re simply tired and beat than extremely weak. Most importantly, you feel, which means you’re not dead.

As if he could sense your awakening—or just possesses superhuman hearing—a door opens to reveal the vampire. He's wearing other clothes, grey sweatpants and a black t-shirt, and his face doesn't give you anything.

“What happened?” you question, looking around the room that’s clearly a bedroom. “And where am I?”

“You passed out. There was a hole in the bag, so the blood was just leaking onto the floor. I had my friend steal some from the hospital, and I gave you a transfusion. Yuqi also brought some clothes and stuff for you, so you’re staying here at least until tomorrow. Then you’re free to leave whenever you want.”

“I… don’t understand. Why would you—why not just let me go then?”

“I changed my mind.”

You look at him, bewildered and trying to find the words. “What do you mean you changed your mind? We had an agreement?”

“I know, but I changed my mind. I’m not doing it. If the blood matters to you, the bags are in the freezer.”

“Why–what would I do with blood?” you question in frustration. Is he offering it back in case you want to drink it? Try to put it back inside your veins? Apparently, you’ve already had transfusions, so you have exactly zero use for frozen bags of blood. “Why can’t you just get on with it? Why not let me die?”

“I do not. Want. To,” he hisses.

You stare at him in silence, feeling confused and betrayed. He looks away but doesn't seem affected. No shame, no regret, no anything but a moment of frustration to breach otherwise calm determination.

“Here’s the stuff,” he gestures toward a duffel bag by the foot of the bed. “You have a bathroom right outside, and I’m gonna order some food for you. You should take it easy; I wasn’t able to give you as much blood as you really need, and unfortunately, what I’ve previously collected isn’t fit to give back. Since it’s been frozen and stored improperly for that kind of purpose, there would be a risk of clotting.”

You look at him from where you’re sitting on his bed, and he looks back at you. The irritation you feel grows beyond what you’re capable of conveying, and so it turns into defeat. It makes you angry, how he managed to back out of giving you what you wanted at the very last second. You spent months upholding your end of the deal, and when it finally came time for him to do the same, he didn’t. 

“Don’t bother,” you lie down slowly, your back facing him where he stands at the door. Silently, you curse your body for feeling so tired; ideally, you’d stomp out of there, slamming the door behind you. “I’ll leave tomorrow morning.”

Your own clothes are still wearable. The few stains of blood are relatively small and dried, and the vampire already placed you on his bed, so you don’t feel like you’ll do any more damage by sleeping in them. The house is quiet, but you don’t think he’s left it, which begs the question of where he is. And also if he sleeps and if he does, then… where? He never gave you a tour or anything, so you have no idea what the rest of his house looks like. Whatever; you don’t care, anyway.

His sheets smell clean, though, and it doesn’t take you long to pass out, truly exhausted.

When you wake up, you can’t find your phone, and without any other time measuring device, you don’t know what time it is. It appears like the sun rose not too long ago so that narrows your guess a little bit at least.

Sitting up slowly, you take a deep breath. You feel… okay. A bit sore almost, but more energetic than you have in a while. Unfortunately, it’s not necessarily a good thing in your book.

Sighing, you put your feet to the hardwood floor. They carry you with only a little dizziness, and you set your sight on the bedroom door. It opens smoothly, and you peer out, looking for the bathroom the vampire mentioned. There’s a door immediately to your left which you guess must be it, and so you head toward it. 

After successfully finding the bathroom and using it, you decide to continue the search for your phone. Since you thought last night would be your last and therefore arrived by Uber rather than driving, it means that without your phone, you have no way home.

You make your way down some stairs, recognizing the hallway as the one the vampire has led you through what feels like countless times. Last time you remember having your phone was in the kitchen, so that’s where you steer your steps.

As luck would have it, the kitchen is also where the vampire happens to be. Upon your entrance, your eyes immediately fall on the tall man where he stands, leaning back against the counter. Although he surely heard you approaching a long time ago, he only turns his head slowly toward you when you’re well into the room. He’s hard to read; doesn’t offer much.

“Do you know where my phone is?”

The vampire twists his body to look at the counter behind him, sliding something toward you. You take a step closer, inspecting the device when it’s in your hands. Three percent.

“Do you have a charger I can borrow?”

“Yeah,” he answers with a nod and pushes off the counter, leaving the kitchen. You wait, quietly wondering what exactly goes on inside his head. He seems unfazed by the whole ordeal, which doesn’t necessarily surprise you. But what you still don’t quite understand is why he claimed to have changed his mind. Could it be that he just didn’t want to deal with your body? 

The vampire returns with a white charger in his hand, his skin cold against yours when you accept it from him. Finding a fitting outlet near the table, you plug the charger in and sit down, gazing out through the window while you wait for the phone to charge enough for the trip home. The vampire has gone back to leaning wordlessly against the counter, and you ignore him.

Opening your phone, you find that the only unread notification you have is a spam email. Why are you surprised? With a small sigh, you lock the device again, hoping it’ll charge faster if you don’t use it. Forty percent should be enough.

It’s snowing outside, and you watch the big snowflakes fall slowly and silently to the already white ground. Waiting like this gives you time to go over all the things you’ve done wrong in your life.

Next time you unlock your phone, the battery has reached thirty-seven percent. You open the Uber app to see that a car can arrive in ten minutes. You confirm it, noting the time as eleven twenty-three. You’ll wait five more minutes before you start getting ready, which honestly is just putting your shoes and coat on. 

The seconds pass slowly one after the other. You wonder briefly how long it took the vampire to clean because, although you didn’t notice the blood dripping to the floor while it was happening, you understood that there was a lot of it. Must suck for him to have it wasted like that. The question is also why he would waste even more blood by giving you a transfusion? If he went through the pain of acquiring bagged blood, why not just drink that?

At eleven twenty-nine, your phone’s battery is at fifty-two percent. You unplug the charger from the wall, and as you stand, you place it on the table with a quiet ‘thanks.’

“Going home?” the vampire wonders, black eyes watching you. He looks casual, but there’s that hint of softness shining through again. 

You pass him on your way to the front door. “Yeah.”

“Reconsider,” he encourages, and you know he’s not talking about your journey home. 

You roll your eyes. “No.”

“Yes,” he follows. “Whatever’s troubling you doesn’t matter. There’s so much for you to see and do, so many places to visit and people to meet. Your life is so incredibly short, and you won’t have time to see even a fraction of the world as is.”

“Thanks for the pep talk,” you say, bending down to put your boots on.

“Have you even been outside of this town?”

Why is he trying to control you? He doesn’t know you; he doesn’t care. It’s not like you’ll magically be fine after his ‘cheer up, pal,’ and ending your life is not a decision you have taken hastily or easily.

“No.”

“Don’t you want to see what’s out there?”

“Of course. But it’s not…” you straighten up to look at him, frustration dripping from your words. “Don’t you see that I’m all alone? I don’t have anybody, no one to experience things with, and much less the money to just up and leave. Sure, maybe I could get a loan and travel through Italy for two weeks, but then what? I’ll be miserable and in debt.”

The vampire tilts his head, looking at you with his black eyes but not saying anything. He just doesn't understand. You put your other foot into your boot and reach for your coat before he can try to persuade you again for whatever reason.

“Whatever,” you sigh, “I’ll be going.”

He doesn’t stop you from opening the door, and he doesn’t follow you when you leave, one boot undone and with your coat held to your chest. Irritation turns to sadness and defeat as you wait for the Uber to arrive, taking the opportunity to actually put your coat on and tie your laces properly. Snow falls around you, and when you're done, you stand there, waiting pathetically by the side of the road in the cold. You’re back at square one.

Despite having slept for countless hours at the vampire’s house, you head straight for your bed the moment you return home. For another few hours, you sleep, and then you spend a few more lying there in the dark, thinking. 

It’s seven p.m. on a Saturday. You’ve wasted a lot of time, months even, waiting for the vampire to get what he wanted and follow through on his part. But that’s over now, so what are you waiting for right now? 

Two and a half hours later, you put your boots back on and throw a lighter jacket over your shoulders, one that allows easier access to your neck.

Still not feeling your best, it takes you fifteen minutes to walk what the vampire did in six, carrying you on his back. You don’t understand him. He acted like he didn’t want you to die, but if he cared about you at all, he would’ve backed out earlier and not waited until his actions brought you within an inch of your life for what, the third time? Was he hoping you’d stay alive so that you’d hopefully continue donating your blood, even if less frequently? 

Although nearing his feeding grounds, you’re hoping not to run into him. He did state that he changed his feeding days to Thursdays, and last week, when you did run into him, it seemed like a coincidence. Besides, this place is your best bet tonight; even the vampire admitted that there were others there last time. Surely, they’re around here somewhere tonight as well. 

Since you assume vampires don’t want unnecessary attention, you stake out near the same club as last week, but this time, you hide in the shadows around a corner. Then, you wait for a victim.

Thirty minutes to midnight, a woman stumbles out through the door, a bouncer holding it open for her. She’s obviously had a bit to drink, and as she clumsily fixes her little cross body bag and sets off along the street, you look around from your hiding spot.

But you don’t see or hear anything; not a dark figure moving nor the sound of footsteps. Still, you follow her, hoping for the best. Wanting to keep your distance, you instead find it hard to keep up with her, which is saying something about your current health.

About two hundred meters from the club, she suddenly slows down, her attention seemingly drawn to something in an alleyway. You weren’t sure exactly how the vampires hunt, but by how the woman begins to slowly drift inside the dark alleyway of her own accord, you guess they do have some kind of pull. Most women, even when slightly drunk, typically try not to do… that.

You quicken your steps as much as possible without breaking into a sprint. Not only do you want to speak to a vampire; if you can take that woman’s place and leave her unscathed, it’s an added bonus. Before you’ve caught up, the woman slowly and quietly disappears, and when you turn the corner with your phone in hand and flashlight turned on, you spot a man holding her to his body. 

Evidently hearing you approaching, the man has placed them against the wall, halfway obscured by a dumpster and hoping you’d walk past them, which you would have if you weren’t so focused on the woman and your mission.

The man squints in the light, and you very clearly discern long fangs. You take another step into the alleyway, but what you didn’t expect was to be grabbed from another direction. 

Gasping, you feel strong arms hold your back against someone’s chest, effortlessly keeping you immobile. 

“What can we offer? Though you smell like vampire already?” The man who holds you says, sounding surprised, and your phone is taken from your hand and the flashlight turned off. 

Obviously, they assume you’re one of the freaky ones looking for vampires because any normal person would run. Your reason for wanting to find one is different, though. 

“I have a proposition,” you stutter, not too scared but uncomfortable with how the man noses at your neck. Despite knowing that if the vampire bites, it’ll most likely be your neck, you can’t help trying to pull away. It’s just another bodily reaction. 

Your words intrigue him, and he moves, creating just a tad bit more space between your bodies and looking down at you with a curious smirk.

“A proposition, you say?”

“You can have my blood—all of it—if you take it right here and now.”

“What’s the catch?” he asks, raising an eyebrow much like a certain vampire you know. “What’s in it for you?”

“There is no catch. I want to die.”

The other vampire, curiously listening to your conversation, whispers something in the other woman’s ear, and lets her go. She stumbles away from him and then casually leaves the alleyway, turning the corner calmly as if nothing happened. 

You meet the vampire’s puzzled yet curious eyes. “There’s nothing wrong with my blood if you think I’m trying to trick you into something. Except that it’s apparently B positive which I understand is not that desirable, but—”

“You’re Jeon’s human?”

“Uh—what? Who?” you ask, confused but slowly putting two and two together.

“Fuck, should we?” the other vampire questions quietly.

“Jeon,” the closest one to you starts, “is the vampire you smell of. He’s been very persistent no one touches his human.”

“Yeah. Can’t blame him. If I was lucky enough to have someone offer to be a walking blood bag, I wouldn’t let them outside at all.”

“I’m not… I’m not anyone’s, and I’m not a walking blood bag,” you explain, feeling belittled. “He made me a promise that he broke. He was going to help me die in exchange for my blood, but he just used me to collect blood, and then he didn’t deliver.”

The two vampires look at each other, and you feel like they didn’t really pay attention to anything you just said.

“I don’t know, man. I’m not sure I wanna get on his bad side.”

“But he’s too arrogant,” the first one complains. “If I want something, why should he prevent me from getting it? He doesn’t own the supply here. I’m a thousand years old; I shouldn’t need to ask for permission.”

“Dude’s like three thousand years old, though? You don’t need to ask permission; you can literally choose anyone. Except this one, for some reason. I don’t think I would if I were you.”

“Our agreement is over,” you try to enter the conversation the two vampires are holding over your head.

“Well,” the one holding your arms peers down at you, “He said that under no circumstances is anyone allowed to touch you.”

You scoff, growing irritated again, “Okay, well, are there any vampires around that aren’t such wimps? If I can’t find anyone to just snap my neck, I’m going to the train tracks and then my blood will be wasted.”

That’s a lie, of course. There’s a reason you picked death by vampire; you’re too scared to do it any other way, and no matter how much you want to die, you can’t subject anyone else—like a poor train driver—to it. Vampires are cold and heartless. They don’t care.

“Hold on. Wait,” the vampire holds you tighter when you haphazardly try to wiggle out of his grasp.

“Look,” he says to the other, “He can’t tell us what to do. Besides, if he gets angry, we can just say that she said their agreement was over, and we did her a favor out of the goodness of our hearts.”

“You don’t have a heart; you just want to annoy him.”

The vampire grins. At first, it’s a boyish smile directed at his friend, but when he slowly tilts his head down to look at you, it turns almost sinister. “I think I’m gonna do it.”

You gulp. No matter how much this is what you want, it does scare you. Mostly because you’re afraid it will be painful.

“Is there a way you can kill me first? I don’t want it to hurt.”

The smiling vampire shakes his head. 

“No.”

You thought death was supposed to be a void. A void of darkness, devoid of physical matter, emotions, and thoughts. But it hurts. It hurts so much. 

Then, a void does take over.

Jeongguk knew you’d try again. If he wouldn’t kill you, you were going to find someone who would. And despite hoping that you would’ve changed your mind, he was unfortunately right. He spent an hour roaming the dark streets around the town’s attempt at a nightlife, but he didn’t come across you. Not until he visits the same place where you first found him, a place he wouldn’t take as your first choice since you ran into him there a week earlier. 

He’s spent hours and hours these last weeks with you on his mind; the little human who wants to die so badly. It’s just something about you and your willingness to die that doesn’t sit right with him, and you won’t leave his thoughts. It’s not his business, he told himself as he saw you curled up and unconscious in your car. Who is he to tell someone what they should do with their life? If anything, respecting your wishes and consuming freely donated blood is easier and more ethical than taking it from plastered people who aren’t really sure what’s going on, right?

The scenes replaying the most in his head are more recent. It’s the way you suggested he kill and butcher your body, saying no one would look for you anyway, and how you called for him, unknowing that your blood was dripping to the floor but still trying your hardest to squeeze that ball for him. Your fingers were barely moving, but you tried since he wanted that blood. 

He’s not entirely sure what he’s doing, trying to convince you to live, but he guesses that he simply needs to know that you experienced some good things in life too. He can’t let you end it this way, as a lifeless body, discarded somewhere where no one will find you.

Anger, frustration, and an odd feeling of helplessness flood him as he takes in the sight of the vampire in the process of draining you dry. He rushes into the dark alleyway, the vampire looking up from your neck just as Jeongguk strikes. There’s not much of a fight after that. The first vampire stumbles backward, and Jeongguk grabs your lifeless body from him as the second vampire approaches, eyes wide and with his hands raised shoulder height.

“Easy, man.”

“I fucking told you to leave her alone.”

The dazed vampire grumbles something, but Jeongguk doesn’t pay him any attention. He places your body down on the snow-covered ground and looks at your pale face while searching for a pulse right under your jaw. 

“She wanted to die.”

“Shut the fuck up,” Jeongguk growls. “How much did you take?”

There is no pulse.

“At least three fourths. Possibly more.”

Jeongguk shuts his eyes. There’s no coming back from that.

You’ve lost and regained consciousness due to blood loss one too many times by now, but this time, it really feels different. Opening your eyes, the sunlight filling the room irritates your eyes, forcing you to squint for a few seconds. 

Without moving, you focus on something. The vampire. Jeon, was it? You watch as he rummages through his closet, practically soundlessly, taking out a few items and looking them over before settling on what looks like two black shirts, one long-sleeve and one short-sleeve. Then he digs out a pair of shorts and another pair of sweatpants. 

You’re not used to seeing him in direct sunlight, but now, the rays filtering through the half-opened blinds paint him in a new light, and you let your eyes linger on his arms as he folds the clothes. The green t-shirt he wears is doing a great job at highlighting his veiny, muscular forearms as they work. Light and shadows play along those very defined muscles, accentuating them further.

Your first impression of him was a cold one, one that slowly warmed a little over time both physically and mentally. But in this light? Without even touching him, he looks… warmer to you. Inviting, almost like when he wore that black hoodie. 

You sigh quietly and pull the blanket that’s thrown over you closer. The vampire hears and turns around, placing the clothes at the foot of his large bed.

“Hey. How are you feeling?”

You take a moment to consider his question. Though you’ve certainly felt better in a lot of ways, you don’t feel the way you’ve come to associate with severe blood loss. 

“Cold. And tired, but in a weird way.”

Weird is probably the best way to describe how you’re feeling in general. You feel light, but not weak. Tired, but not sleepy. 

He nods understandingly, “It’ll pass.”

You catch his gaze, holding it for a quiet moment. “You changed me, didn’t you?”

It’s the only explanation you can come up with. That vampire was hungry, and you remember slowly losing control in his grasp, both over your body and consciousness. With how many near-death experiences your body has endured in the last weeks—all blood loss related—there just wasn’t any chance you’d survive another draining.

“Yeah.” He looks away, sitting down on the edge of the bed. “I couldn’t…”

You think you understand well enough what he’s trying to say, although you’re not too sure of his reasons or how to feel about it. He couldn’t let you die. In a way, you’re disappointed because you were finally getting what you wanted, and dying has proved itself to be surprisingly difficult for you. 

But you’re not angry; not like you were after the vampire saved you the first time. He mentioned once that not even vampires are immortal, so at least you know that you’re not doomed to an eternal life in suffering; you can always try again if you want. However, you’d be back at square one when it comes to options, but you don’t really feel the urgency anymore. At least not at the moment.

He turns his head toward you, meeting your eyes with his deep, dark ones. “Let me show the world to you.”

Surprised to say the least, you mumble a quiet “What?”

He angles his body further toward you, and you see that despite the softer look on his face, he’s certain. “I want to show you everything the world has to offer. All the good things; the magical places and people.”

Not sure what to say, you just stare at him.

“Vampires are not immortal,” he continues. “If you really don’t want this, I’ll help you die. I promised. But please, think about it. No catch, no expectations.”

“But why… Why would you want that?” 

You’ve been alone for so long, unable to keep people around and interested, so why would this being be?

���Because I found that I really didn’t enjoy draining you of your life, especially when you were already so low to begin with. I want you to get the chance to experience the good things life has to offer, and I can’t help but want to be around when you do.”

“You don’t know me though.”

“I kinda want to,” he says, standing up with the cheekiest smile you’ve ever seen on him. “Think about it, okay? I’m not expecting anything from you other than that you consider.”

Still very much processing his words, you feel a cold shiver wreck your body, something the vampire notices.

“I’ll get you another blanket. Your body is still in the process of changing, and with that comes a decrease in temperature. It’s normal to feel cold.”

He’s about to leave when you call for him.

“Wait. What… What's your name? Your given name?”

He stops, and he smiles again. “Jeongguk. And I know yours already; it was on your door.”

You sleep for a little while longer, but when you start to feel better, you also start to think. You’ve been so certain for so long, and you still are—you think—but… either way, you’d like some answers; a clearer view of the whole picture.

“Jeongguk?” you call, unsure how loud you need to be. It feels strange to use a name for the vampire.

It doesn’t take long before the door opens. “Yeah?”

“I have some… questions.”

He nods, stepping into the darkness that is his bedroom and closing the door behind him. 

“Light sensitive?” he nods toward the window, where you’ve pulled the curtains closed over the blinds.

“Yeah… Is that normal?”

“It is. So is feeling sensitive to sound, touch, smell; basically all the senses. But it will pass pretty quickly.”

“Okay. Well, can you… tell me everything about being a vampire? I didn’t think you slept, but you do? Or why do I still sleep?”

He rounds the bed to sit next to you, and you feel it sink as he gets comfortable. Slowly, you turn to face him, watching him lean back against the headboard.

“So, basically, we can do all the things humans do. For instance, you’re still programmed to breathe, but it’s more of a habit and a way to smell than a means of survival.”

While he speaks, you try it. It’s strange, holding your breath and not feeling that strong, strong urge to take in air after a while.

“You can eat human food, but it’s not what sustains you, so most vampires don’t. It gets kinda boring after a while; you’ll see what I mean. Most also don’t sleep as they consider it a waste of time, but you can if you want to. I do pretty regularly. I find it… peaceful, and when you get older, it can be nice, getting a break between days.”

Hearing him talk so casually and almost… softly has you smiling slightly, unable to help it. So he had been sleeping when you knocked on the door, and his hair was all messy, and he looked so cuddly? You don’t know why, but you like that thought.

“You can exist in sunlight, you can consume garlic. Mirrors work for us as well. We don’t age like humans, but we can die if we’re pierced through the heart by something wooden—”

“—You mean staked?”

He looks at your wide, amused eyes and rolls his. “Yeah. Staked. Anyway, you’ll notice that your senses are heightened, and you’ll become stronger too. Not stronger than me, though,” he grins. “As for the blood, you can survive on any.”

“Any?”

What does he mean by that? Human and animal?

“Human, animal, vampire,” he says, the last one surprising you.

You blink, taken aback. “Vampires drink from other vampires?”

“We can. It’s not as common as feeding on humans as it’s mostly… a pretty intimate thing to do.”

“Oh, okay.” 

Thinking about it, you guess you can see why. Having someone so close, feeding on you without the power imbalance of prey versus predator that feeding on humans entails, must feel… intimate. More of a give and take. 

“You’ll need to feed in about a day or two, so you can choose. I have more human blood than just yours as it might be weird to drink your own blood, and I can get animal blood if that feels easier. Or… if you want to, you can drink from me.”

You look at him questioningly. “Didn’t you just say that it’s an intimate thing?”

He shrugs. “Yeah, but if it would make for an easier transition for you, I don’t mind. I’ve taken a lot of blood from you, after all.”

“Okay,” you nod, briefly biting your lip. “I’ll think about it. About all of… this.”

Is death the thing you wanted above all else, or was it to get out of the life you were living? Now that your old life is, in a way, over, you’re not sure. Regardless, there are other worries still plaguing you. You look—almost stare—at his pretty face. 

“What?”

You bite your lip nervously again. “What if you change your mind? I’m assuming this was quite a rushed decision on your part. What if I don’t live up to your expectations? I barely knew how to navigate this world as a human, there’s no way I could… manage on my own as… as a vampire.”

Say you decide to give it a shot; what do you do if he grows tired of you?

“Changing someone is not something we take lightly. We don’t…” he looks around, seemingly searching for the right words. “We don’t change anyone if we’re not prepared to guide them, at least through the first years. Usually, vampires only end up turning their romantic partners, so for most, it means staying together for life. Regardless, it’s a big decision.”

Noticing your wide eyes, Jeongguk smiles and chuckles. “I’m not saying you have to hang around me for the rest of your life, and I won’t ask you to play my wife or anything, but I won’t abandon you.”

It’s surprising enough to hear that vampires not only regularly fall in love with humans but take changing someone so seriously. But you’re even more surprised to hear him use the word ‘wife.’

“Your wife?” you ask, truly bewildered that word was even in his thoughts. “You said vampirism doesn't make you much prettier?”

He looks at you like you’ve grown another head. “It doesn’t. But you didn’t need to become prettier anyway.”

“Oh, come on.”

“I’m telling the truth? Don’t you remember what I told you when I carried you home that night?”

‘You’re a pretty girl, you know?’

Of course you remember, but it doesn’t mean it was true.

You roll your eyes. “You were feeling bad for me.”

“Hm,” Jeongguk looks away, thinking. “Okay, do you remember the very first thing I said to you?”

“That you weren’t going to turn me?”

“For sex, yeah. But I said I’d still fuck you.”

The smile he gives you reminds you more of the vampire that took your blood once every fortnight than the one who saved you. You don’t know what to say, and he seems to realize that, his smile turning softer.

“Like I said, I would’ve fucked you because you were pretty even as a human. Also, about luring said humans in? You will not have a problem with that if that’s something you’re interested in. I kinda want to see you do that, actually,” he grins, sending a shiver down your spine. “Hot.”

Jeongguk is sitting spread out on the rented apartment’s low couch, reading the back of a bottle of red wine when you pass him. It’s hot—a lot warmer than what you’re used to from your little hometown—and you sigh as you open the door to the balconet wider and fresh air starts to play with your dress. The weather doesn’t affect you like it used to, but some aspects are still more enjoyable than others. 

“I think I like Rome,” you place your hands on the railing, looking down at the scene two stories below you. It’s just after ten p.m., and people are dining outside the restaurant below you, their happy chatter accompanied by the romantic sound of street musicians. The air is humid, and besides the moonlight, the street is mainly illuminated by lights from the restaurant and surrounding shops.

You hear Jeongguk put the bottle down on the glass coffee table and stand up, something your human ears wouldn’t have picked up.

“We can stay longer if you want,” he offers quietly from right behind you.

Turning around, you let your gaze travel over his white dress shirt, held together by two single buttons—the rest lazily unbuttoned—and exposing most of his drool-worthy chest. He smirks, looking down at you, and you’re hit by how he hasn’t changed that much since you first met him in that alley. You’ve just gotten to see more sides of him.

You hold your breath, carefully reaching your hand out to pinch the fabric of his shirt between your thumb and index finger, pulling a little on it and nodding.

“Then we’ll stay,” he smiles, slowly stepping back and taking your hand softly in his. His skin feels warm against yours, and it’s almost like some sort of electric current courses through you. You grin as he pulls you toward him, moving to the slow and sensual music drifting up from outside.

Jeongguk lifts your hand above your head and twirls you. It makes you smile even wider, and you decide to place your arms loosely around his neck. He doesn’t object, just looks down at you, still smiling. 

One thing you'll never get used to is how handsome he is. Soft, black hair parted across his forehead, dark eyebrows and eyes, and a dimple that pops out when he smiles. One day, you’ll kiss his nose, you promise yourself. He looks so carefree, peering down at you like nothing else really matters; a mindset not too difficult to follow with him.

“How come everything is so… easy?”

He tilts his head, trying to make sense of your words as he places his hands on your waist. “Well… do you feel cared for?”

You think about it. All the new people—vampires—you’ve met so far are very funny and kind. They see you, and they listen to you. Especially Jeongguk’s friends, and even more so, Jeongguk. He’s easy to be around, and he’s been incredibly sweet to you, understanding that you’re going through a big change and that your previous life wasn’t all that great.

So you nod.

“Do you have anything that worries you?” He continues. “A looming anxiety regarding something?”

“No.” Turns out that Jeongguk and all his friends are filthy rich and also very generous, which means that you have no rent to pay, no stuff to buy, or bills to pay. Nor do you have people to impress or time-sensitive achievements to stress over.

Jeongguk’s smile turns extra cheeky. “Do you perhaps… also care a little bit for someone?”

You’d blush if that was something you could do. “You’d like to know, wouldn’t you?”

He chuckles before he turns a little more serious. “Jokes aside, there could be many reasons. Like I said, not feeling lonely or overly anxious surely helps a lot, but also stuff like… the change of scenery and seasons. But also…”

“Also…?”

He looks at you with a searching gaze, as if he’s trying to figure something out. “Tell me, did you ever see someone about how you felt?”

You shake your head.

“So you never got a diagnosis or medication?”

“No.”

“Then, maybe… you weren’t ‘only’ sad, and vampirism corrected some chemical imbalance in your brain. It could also explain why things are easier.”

Maybe. You thought that your mother dying was the catalyst for your sadness, and without seeing the point of the world, you got “weirder,” and the few people in your life withdrew. Then it was just you, and no matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t connect with people anymore. But maybe, like he said, it wasn’t ‘only’ feelings. A small part of you wishes you would’ve tried to get help, but a bigger part—although sad for the years you spent suffering—thinks this ending might be better.

He continues to sway your bodies, and you rest your head against his chest. When you left with him three months ago, one month after he changed you, you weren’t entirely certain where things would lead, because despite definitely feeling attracted to him, you didn’t really know him. But as the days pass, you don’t regret it, and you’re pretty sure you’re more than halfway to head over heels. You can’t deny that he gives you butterflies.

Sighing, you catch the scent of his naked skin against your cheek, reminded of something.

“You smell good. I remember thinking that you didn’t smell like anything?”

He laughs as you move your face slowly over his chest and up to his neck, smelling him.

“Do I?”

“Yeah,” you say, breathing him in and closing your eyes. There’s the same notes of laundry detergent, soap, and cologne, but also something unique to him. He doesn’t smell like a human, but… almost. It draws you in, that’s for certain.

“Are you hungry?” he wonders quietly. 

“Not sure,” you answer honestly. It’s turned out to be harder to tell than you imagined.

“Well, if you want it… go for it.”

“Like this?” you ask, pushing on his chest with a smile. He lets you walk him slowly back toward the couch, and when the back of his knees hit the edge, he sinks down onto it. 

“Mhm,” he hums happily.

High on the vampire equivalent of adrenaline, you straddle his lap, only to be caught off guard by his scent again. “No, but really, you smell so good.”

He chuckles. “Vampires who are more… compatible tend to smell good to each other.”

His revelation has you sitting back, curious but almost a little worried. Despite the details of your relationship being... a bit unclear—mostly due to his unwillingness to pressure you, you think—you can't help but want him to like you. “Does that mean that I smell good to you as well then? I mean, I remember that you didn’t like my blood?”

“You smell incredible to me. Almost addictive,” he reveals quietly, softly, resting his hands on your thighs, and you think your human heart would’ve raced. “And about your blood… I lied.”

Though grinning happily, there’s at least a trace of regret in his eyes.

“You lied? About not liking my blood?”

“Yeah. B is actually one of the more highly regarded blood types. I’m also B, but negative.”

You shake your head at him before carefully leaning in. With a soft touch of your lips, you locate the pulsating artery in his neck, gently angling his head away with your hands. Then, as you’ve done regularly for the last months, you pierce his skin with your fangs.

“I’m kinda surprised you still believed I didn’t like your blood,” he continues, though it sounds a little strained, like he’s trying to keep still. “If I didn’t like your blood, I wouldn’t have needed to change my feeding days to the day before you came. Nor would I have tried to attack you.”

You listen to his words, but you’ll have to process them better later because his blood is pretty much the only thing on your mind. His blood and his body. It took you a few times to get over the mental association with blood and drinking it, but now, it’s not something bad. It tastes and feels good, energizing you in a way food just doesn’t anymore. And it’s a chance to bond, making you feel closer to him. 

He likes it too, if his body language is anything to go by. You know he tries to stay still to give you the best chance to get what you need without distractions, but the little… almost purring sound that reverberates from somewhere deep in his chest is hard to miss. As is the way his hips shift almost unnoticeably, but you haven’t spoken about that.

Being smaller and recently changed, you don’t require nearly as much blood as he does, and as soon as you feel the urge filled, you run your tongue over the wound to close it, just like he’s taught you to.

“Good?” he asks when you pull back, and you nod, licking your lips. 

You keep your eyes on his skin, knowing that it only takes a second for the wound to heal but up to two weeks for the scar from another vampire's teeth to fade to nothing. 

“All of the vampires we’ve met, they’ve looked so… amused when they understand I drink from you. Why is that? I get that it’s ‘intimate’ but they were pretty much all couples, weren’t they? Not that we’re… you know…”

You haven’t spoken about that, either, really.

It confused you, more so since you last week stumbled across a local couple smiling very cheekily when they saw the scar on Jeongguk’s neck that he’d made absolutely no effort to conceal.

He laughs. “It’s because only I have marks.”

You look puzzled. Yeah, sure, but you don’t understand why that would be amusing.

He looks at your confused face and continues. “The fact that you drink from me but not I from you usually means that I’ve submitted to you. That I belong to you. Which is not very common when I’m so much older than you. It’s usually the other way around if anything.”

“Oh,” you exclaim quietly, lifting your hand to your neck. “Should I…? Do you… want to feed from me? Cause I’m not sure that I…”

You don’t like the idea of losing blood. You know that Jeongguk has said that as a vampire, you quite literally can’t run out, but you don’t like it. Thinking about someone biting your neck has images from the night you died flashing before your eyes. You don’t remember much,  but you remember being scared and how much it hurt. Surely, it would be different to let him bite you, but… you don’t know. You can’t help but feel like maybe you should? Don’t you kind of owe it to him?

“I want to, of course I do, but not that badly. I get that it’s an uncomfortable concept for you, so that’s why I haven’t brought it up. If you ever feel comfortable enough, we can try, because it’s very hot, but otherwise, it doesn’t matter.”

You lower your hand, smiling carefully down at him. He runs his hands over your thighs softly.

“So, you’re really just… ancient?”

“Excuse me?” 

“Yeah? You’re literally older than Jesus?”

He rolls his eyes, still smiling.

“Jokes aside, doesn’t it get boring? You were kinda grumpy when I first met you.”

“Truth be told, it does. I’ve seen everything, mostly even many times over. But getting to see everything with you is like getting to experience it for the first time all over again.”

“That’s kinda… cheesy,” you chuckle, but you can’t deny that it makes you feel warm inside. “Yuqi said you probably needed a change of scenery as well.”

“So what if it’s cheesy? It’s true," he grins, and it's your turn to roll your eyes. "And, yeah, she might’ve been right. I guess vampires get lonely too sometimes.”

Although he's still smiling, you can't help but hurt a little, thinking about him feeling lonely too.

“So then, what’s next?" you ask. "When do we leave for Portugal?”

“Depends on when you want to. I’ll just tell Taehyung we’ll meet them later. As for now, you know Fontana di Trevi?”

“Yeah?”

“Wanna take a dip?”

“What? Isn’t it pretty shallow? And probably… illegal?”

“What are they gonna do? Stop us?” He smiles a wide, happy smile, his white fangs almost glimmering in the romantically dimmed light.

<previous | next> author's note: i hope you liked it!! please reblog if you did <3<3<3

[kryptznnn]

can you please please please make a bakugo x reader smau !!! fluff please 🙏

♡- Just a really sweet friend

꧁ ༺♔ ༻ ꧂꧁ ༺♔ ༻ ꧂꧁ ༺♔ ༻ ꧂꧁ ༺♔ ༻ ꧂

꧁ ༺♔ ༻ ꧂꧁ ༺♔ ༻ ꧂꧁ ༺♔ ༻ ꧂꧁ ༺♔ ༻ ꧂

➸ INTERESTS; -college au! katsuki bakugo x f! college reader

➸ BACKGROUND; - (requested submission) messages exchanged between you and katsuki, with a little extra dialogue of what’s happened to the two of you in person.

➸ WARNINGS; - wc. roughly 1k, romantic tension, fluff, friends to lovers, kissing, sickness mention, romantic confession, text messages.

➸a.i; - omg this is my first time doing this and i really enjoyed it, hopefully i didn’t fuck it up 😭. xoxo

꧁ ༺♔ ༻ ꧂꧁ ༺♔ ༻ ꧂

You sighed as you dragged your covers over your head, closing your eyes to get some sleep in the late morning before receiving a notification on your phone from Katsuki.

You smiled to yourself as you texted him back, laughing aloud at the last part before he had hearted your message, ending the conversation. As it ended you fell asleep and soon woke up around an hour or so later to knocking on your door, you were slow to get there, but as you arrived there we no one there to greet you. The only thing that had greeted you was two grocery bags on the floor, one filled with bought food while the other was filled with medicine, already knowing they were from Katsuki.

He hearted your message again, as you began to unbox and put all of the new things you had just gotten away. Over time you had gotten better and in just a week you were back to perfect health. He was happy for you of course, now unafraid to visit you along side his friends without a mask on.

Currently you had gotten your room keys and ID before heading out, saying a quick goodbye to your roommate as you left. You made your way out in the elevator and began to walk off campus, as you played music through your headphones and looked around town at night, you were interrupted by a familiar ping ringing in your headphones. A notification, more specifically a text, yet again from Katsuki. You walked into the building you had planned to walk into before opening his text message.

You cocked a brow as you went into Life360, checking the shared group Kirishima had made to see Bakugos location. It was saying he was still at the dorms and as you continued to reload his page it buffered. You nearly had a heart attack when you felt him now standing over from behind you inside the pizzeria before scolding you for being out so late.

As the two of you spoke back and forth the cashier had asked if you were ordering, you quickly left Katsuki’s side to order as he watched you from behind. Before you were able to pay he quickly bud in, already tapping his card on the transaction machine as the payment was immediately accepted. You turned to look at him wide eyed.

“I could’ve paid for it myself.” You said stubbornly, taking the receipt that was printed before reading the price, thinking of how much you would’ve had to pay back.

“I know, I wanted to do it, ‘n don’t think about payin’ me back.” He replied, now removing the hoodie that covered his hair before digging back in his pocket and pulling out his wallet, putting his card back.

He was lying, he wanted to pay for you because he cared, and he was still not over the fact you left your dorm so late to walk to the pizzeria instead of ordering food because you didn’t have enough. When he saw your upset reaction at him paying he couldn’t help but smirk at you.

Thankfully enough for the both of you, your pizza had came soon after, and as before he was quick to take the load, carrying the hot box in his hands as the two of you walked back to your dorm. As you were in the elevator you had your dorm key ready in your hands, knowing your room was one of the first in front of it.

As you unlocked your door and opened it you had offered for Katsuki to come inside, he hadn’t said anything and just look at you. The silence was deafening as it seemed you two were in a short staring contest, him being the first to lose before he blinked and turned to the side.

“Can I kiss you?” He asked, you were startled by his sudden question and the manner of it, the tone he was asking you in was serious. Before you could even get your joke out after you had nodded he immediately dived in, leaning in and kissing you softly, as you wasted no time kissing him back.

Before you could ask him why he did it or what caused him to even think of such he immediately shoved your pizza box in your hands before saying bye and leaving, heading straight for the stairs as you remained baffled.

He had known why, he liked you, he had for a while now. It was funny all things considering before he had made his way to you at the pizzeria Denki had slipped up and told him that you had a crush on him also. That was probably the first time his friends had ever seen him smile, especially so widely, it suited for the most part when it was natural.

As you now lied in bed, you couldn’t sleep, your head wrapping around the event that had occurred nearly an hour ago. You had told your roommate who you were close with, the two of you freaking out before getting a noise complaint. As you scrolled through social media you received a text from Katsuki.

As the two of you had shared a passionate moment outside of your dorm room in the hall, your roommate came up from behind you, opening the door and asking you if you were alright. When she got a look of Katsuki with your lip liner/lipstick smudged across his cheek and upper lip she laughed, quickly turning around and letting the door shut behind her.

You only laughed along with her, taking in the small mess you had made on the poor boys face before attempting to wipe it with your hands, most of it coming off as the rest was smudged. You said your goodbyes to one another as he walked off. You had immediately went to your roommates side, filling her in with all of the details before texting Katsuki.

What wonderful friends the two of you were, truly.

꧁ ༺♔ ༻ ꧂꧁ ༺♔ ༻ ꧂

✴🕷 please do not copy, plagiarize, edit, or translate any works submitted by me. all works are originated and all other pictures used within those works are online images. thank you!! @kryptznnn

[sillyzlaurr]

What is your process for rendering? All of your pieces are PHENOMENAL, I seriously cannot get enough of your work. As someone looking to practice and improve on that aspect of art specifically, anything will help.

Thank you!!!!🥹🥹

I'll try to explain how i render on piece with Flowey but if u interested, i uploaded csp timelapse with Tails. Actually wanted to put it here but how do people even upload vids on Tumblr lmao

Some more info you can find in this post

So, we have this doodle with evil Flowey

It's depends on background what colours i will use or what mood of a character i want to create. This time it's just the dark depths of the underground and the light falling from the surface. I'm roughly layering the colors as if they were just chunks of paint. I'm painting directly on the sketch layer, so I'm getting messy shadows. Not tryna to make any details yet

Then, im adding colors in shades. So far it's just gray-blue shadows on his face and petals what im blending into those messy black shadows

Then the light. It's just brighter colors for his adorable face and petals. I also changed color for shades on his petals

And then the details. I used only one brush when coloring Flowey himself, similar to a paint brush, but now I took a basic flat csp marker to circle his eyes, enhance the light on his face, teeth and add other details. I also removed the sketch off his petals to make them look cleaner with sharp eraser brush, added some light yellow reflections on his cheeks and jaw

I'm adding highlights and filling in the gaps in his teeth (bc Flowey has the money to go to the dentist obviously) and.... We're almost done

Colors look pretty okay but something's seems off to me. They're not warm enough so i filling Flowey with warm yellow and change layer mode to color burn and reduce the transparency to 25%

Still, i wanna add more lighting. I cover his top and part of the stem with a light yellow tint and then i change layer mode to glow dodge, 50% transparency. Adding dust particles and.... Finally, Flowey is cooked and Toriel can shoot him with fireball!

I hope this helps, good luck!!!🫶🫶🫶

[erinsunmentionables]

Veilguard—The Apotheosis of Victim Blaming

I am an abuse survivor. Part of the reason I empathize so heavily with Solas is because of this. I’m not the first person to point out that his behavior in DAI has all the hallmarks of an abuse victim, and everything we know about Flemeth/Mythal from the first three games and all supplementary content has characterized them both as abusers. Because victims becoming abusers is indeed a real and tragic phenomenon.

I was so hoping they’d handle the subject with the nuance and maturity we’ve come to expect from BioWare. Instead, we spent all of Veilguard combing through the most painful and traumatic memories of someone who was coerced and abused by a person he trusted, all the while the characters we’re meant to view as good and empathetic people mock him and glorify his abuser, who among other things willingly owned slaves.

Because there is no grey area, Mythal abused Solas just as Flemeth abused Morrigan and her son, and Justinia abused Leliana. And it’s clear this was the intention. It was always the intention. The foundations of it were too strong to remove entirely from the game, but I guess someone higher up wasn’t comfortable acknowledging that women can in fact be abusers, and men can in fact be victims.

So instead we get a group of relative strangers rubbernecking the tragedy of an abused man and going out of their way to heap the blame on the victim. At one point Lucanis literally says that he ‘should have just said no’ which is the kind of talk you hear about victims of assault and abuse all the time from the worst kind of people. I should know, because I’ve had the exact same experience.

It’s not just a disappointment. Disappointment doesn’t begin to touch it. I feel sick and I feel betrayed. I came to Dragon Age with DAI. It remains my favorite (or was, now the whole thing just makes me depressed) because, despite how dark things got, compassion and empathy were always there. The abused always had a voice, however singular, to stand up for them and defend them. Not so here.

There’s a sense of callousness and mean spiritedness that permeates Veilguard. Not sure if that was the intention, but that’s what we got. I couldn’t even finish the game—‘just say no’ was the last straw for me—but against my better judgement I looked into the endings, and really that was my mistake. Because the ‘good ending’ essentially boils down to the abuser oh so magnanimously releasing her victim while a group of strangers gaslight him into submission. I don’t really understand how we got here, but I hope the Devs understand just how damaging a message they ended up with. I know what it’s like to be judged with malignant bias by people determined to hate you while your abuser is lauded and praised. Because abusers are often charismatic and excellent at keeping up a saintly appearance to hide their monstrosity and further alienate their victim. That’s what this feels like.

They can try and retcon it all they like, maybe new players won’t notice, but anyone who remembers the last three games knows better. Flemeth and Mythal may have been victims once, but both went on to use and abuse the people closest to them. Sugarcoating them in the interest of ignoring/making their victims look worse is genuinely vile.

I don’t know who let this change happen, but they’ve contributed to an already skewed public perception about what abuse looks like and how abusers get away with their crimes.

[lacrimosathedark]

The Radioapple Haters™️ are at it again.

This time they're attacking shippers with the newly released Playbill.

There's so many issues with that. Beyond harassing people for ships is dumb.

This is what people are pointing at.

This is on the cast info page. It says Lucifer misses his wife.

So, three things about that.

Firstly, We Been Knew, babe.

His very first appearance, after his daughter says her parents split up, he's in a room covered in pictures of not just said daughter, but her mother too, and he's still wearing a presumed wedding band. If that's not "showing not telling" with a goddamn airhorn, idk how more clear it could get without Lucifer flat out saying he misses Lilith. So like...this is not new info. So there's nothing to really rub in. We knew this.

Secondly, this is in-character Lucifer saying this.

I'm not a professional, but when I was in high school performances, we wrote our own little Playbill bio info things. That seems to carry into professional ones too. If you can read the actual cast, some of the the actors less entrenched in the fandom culture have basically an IMDB of their relevant previous roles, while the ones you see at cons are more personable. Those were written by the actors. So, logically, the character bios are written as if by the characters. This could not be made more obvious.

So, logically, you can read that little above as Lucifer himself actually saying he misses his wife. Which leads me to--

Third, break-ups are messy and painful and Lucifer not moving on, unwilling to remove his ring or call Lilith his ex, doesn't mean they are still together. Hell, they could still even be technically married, doesn't mean they're still romantically entangled.

Look, I know the only seeming one-sided relationships in the show is Vox/Alastor and Adam/Lilith and every other "pair" are together or at least friendly (Chaggie, Huskerdust, Cherrisnake, Staticmoth, Guitarspear) but not every separation has to be a violent resentful split. Lucifer is explicitly Depressed™️ which can be hard for any partner to deal with, especially someone as ambitious as Lilith. It wouldn't be surprising if she, not even cruelly, thought she'd be more successful away from him even if he still loves her.

And all this is on top of the fact that most Radioapple shippers don't expect their ship to happen (some hope it does, some hope it doesn't, I'm personally neutral on the concept), and that a lot of writers and artists explicitly acknowledge and use Lucifer's love for Lilith in Radioapple because people love the drama.

I have several posts listing why one might ship Radioapple so I won't go off about it here, but suffice to say the entanglement between Lilith and Alastor and how the two are similar and different makes interacting with Lucifer interesting from any angle.

This also hurts me personally a bit because a lot of these people are Lucilith shippers and, yall, I'm one of you. I don't want them to get back together for many reasons, but I would love to see endless flashbacks of them obnoxiously in love. Most of my favorite works of fanart aren't even Radioapple, my primary ship, but Lucilith, in large part because of how adorable they are. How indulgent or smitten Lilith can look. How adorably excited or flustered or just happy Lucifer can be.

I love Lucilith. I adore Lucifer. I just also think his interactions with Alastor are funny and intriguing.

We don't need to hate each other. We can try to keep our little sandboxes separate, but we can play nice when we spill into each other, can't we?

I am really just so sick of the silly in-fighting. It costs zero dollars and zero energy to not be a dick. Need to type out a rant to get it out and off your chest? cool. But you can post it privately or delete it instead of going into peoples' ask boxes and and posts to be nasty. Not having the self control and wherewithal to not go out of your way to be a dick to people is honestly pretty pathetic. If you think you're so much better, prove it by being better, or being smug in your space. Making people feel like shit for a nonexistent fictional relationship does literally nothing for anyone and makes YOU look worse.

Dislike the ship all you want. No one cares either way. Just don't waste your limited time in this life making your distaste everyone else's problem.

[sm0lprism]

Bite-Sized (14) - A BG3 G/t Fanfic

This contains g/t (giant/tiny content) so if that isn't your thing, then I suggest you stop reading. Thank you!

Read on Ao3

Chapter 1 | Previous chapter| Series master list

Summary: Ria awakes the following morning from the events of the tiefling party to a horrendous hangover and finds herself in Astarion's tent.

Pairing: Astarion x f!borrower!oc (Tav/oc) (slow-burn)

Warnings: Suggestive, mild nudity, course language, mentions of slavery/abuse (Astarion's past/backstory).

Word count: 4.4k

Taglist: @alexcutecolly @rose7420 @empressxmachina @taters169 @feral-sins @smolgloves @smolkuriboh27 (if you want to be removed or added to the taglist, feel free to let me know!)

A pounding, almost bludgeoning pain resonated through Ria’s skull as she struggled to open her heavy eyelids. Immediately she clutched her head, feeling every single pulse as if someone was swinging a hammer at her skull. Despite the vibrating pain in her head, her body was surprisingly comfortable. This certainly felt nothing like her old tent. The surface she was lying on was incredibly soft and plush, her tiny body sinking into the luscious fabric as if she was floating on a fluffy cloud. A familiar scent quickly graced her nostrils and she breathed it in deeply. Sunny notes of citrus flooded her senses, coupled with a slight alcoholic overtone that piqued her interest.

Wait…is that…brandy? No…that’s…that’s…

Her eyelids suddenly shot open once she realised where she was, the remnants of sleep now completely gone as she turned her head over to her side. Her entire body froze over when her gaze fell on the slumbering giant that was lying directly next to her.

It was Astarion.

Her heart almost threatened to leap out of her throat once she realised her predicament. She was lying on a pillow with Astarion’s handkerchief draped over her body to act as some kind of blanket, and Astarion himself was lying right next to her. She wasn’t lying on the same pillow as him, but this was still far too close for comfort. Frantically she attempted to recall the events of last night, wondering what had she done to end up sharing his tent of all people.

What happened last night? Did…did Astarion and I…?

Red blossomed across her pale face as the very thought plagued through her mind. No, there was no possible way that anything could’ve happened between her and Astarion. But, despite her brain trying to think logically, another part of her mind began to wander elsewhere. Her gaze fell onto the pale elf’s lips and her heart began to flutter against her chest. She remembered the events of yesterday prior to the party just fine, and now that she was staring at his lips, the memory of falling in the giant cup and being pressed against his mouth flashed through her mind. Her entire body had been pushed against his lips – practically kissing her.

No, stop it! It was not a kiss! I just…fell onto his lips. That’s how gravity works.

She remembered how soft his lips had been. Her body pressed against his mouth, moments before she had fallen inside. He had been so very gentle with her, even after she had stabbed his tongue repeatedly.

Stop this right now!

Ria clasped her hands over her burning face and refused to look at the sleeping vampire. She was horrified with herself that she was having such indecent thoughts about the elf of all people. Her head was still pounding relentlessly, constantly reminding her that she had consumed so much alcohol that she still couldn’t properly remember the events of the tiefling party from last night. What had happened? She remembered speaking to Shadowheart who had kindly offered her some wine. Not long after the cleric had left, Astarion had found her. After that everything became hazy.

I need to leave. Now.

Very tentatively she slipped down the pillow until her feet hit the hard floor below. Perhaps if she was quiet enough, she could sneak out of the tent before Astarion woke up from his trance. Slowly but surely, she inched closer towards the mouth of the tent, wincing every so often as her brain reeled from the effects of her drinking from last night. Gritting her teeth, she kept on pushing forward.

Just keep on going…

“Leaving so soon? Don’t I at least get a good morning?”

The borrower’s entire body froze over as if she had been blasted with a ray of frost. Her heart almost burst out of her chest as she slowly turned her head around to look up at the smirking giant elf. Her breath hitched as she saw that he had rolled over onto his side, one hand holding his face as he leaned against his pillow, the laces of his ruffled shirt had become loose and was revealing more of his chest than what she was used to.

“My fangs are up here, darling,” Astarion’s voice chimed from above, startling Ria back to her senses.

If her face wasn’t completely red before, it certainly was now and she frantically fixed her eyes onto the floor of the tent. She couldn’t believe that Astarion had just called her out for staring and embarrassment threatened to smother her completely.

“W-what am I doing here?” she managed to choke out, her voice wavering.

“Well, after the events of last night, it made perfect sense for you to share my tent.” A very smug grin curled at the corners of his lips. “You don’t remember?”

Her heart spasmed against her ribcage. What was he implying? What had happened last night?

“N-no,” she stammered, swallowing thickly. “I don’t remember. All I remember is drinking some wine, you offered me some, and…that’s it.”

Astarion’s massive frame suddenly shifted, now looming over her even closer than before, the ground trembling from his large movements. If this had been a few weeks ago, the sight of Astarion hovering above her would’ve sent her running. But right now, it was almost as if someone had glued her to the ground as she gazed up at his giant form.

“I’m not surprised you don’t remember after all that wine you drank last night,” he hummed, wetting his lips. “I’ve never seen someone so small consume so much alcohol before.”

The rumblings from Astarion’s voice vibrated through the air and she winced as a stab of pain flared in her skull.

“I’m certainly paying for it now,” she grumbled, clutching the side of her head. “Remind me never to drink that much again.”

“Note taken,” he replied.

Swallowing a lump in her throat, she steadied her gaze back at the giant vampire.

“So…um…what happened last night? Why am I here?”

“Oh, you should see the look on your face,” Astarion purred, completely ignoring her question. “It is delicious. Are you worried that events may have…transpired between us?”

Her face burned as Astarion voiced her thoughts. And what made it worse was the feeling of butterflies swarming in her stomach that refused to leave. There was no way that she should be feeling like this about the pale elf, especially considering everything that had happened, but she couldn’t stop thinking about how he had saved her life yesterday. It certainly didn’t help that he was very attractive–

Shut up! Shut up! Stop it right now!

“Oh darling, while it is adorable watching you act so flustered, I won’t hold you in suspense any longer,” he said, a devilish smirk curling at the corners of his mouth. “You can rest assured that nothing happened between us. Besides, can you imagine it? Ugh. No. You’re a borrower after all.”

Astarion’s words shouldn’t have hurt her, but for whatever reason, they did. Not that long ago she was spitting curse words at him, but now, she felt a part of her heart crumble upon hearing his response. If anything, she should’ve been relieved to hear his answer, but she wasn’t at all.

“Y-yeah, right,” she answered stiffly, trying to hide her real emotions. “And you’re a vampire. Of course nothing would happen. Besides, how would it work? I’m so…small.”

“Precisely, darling,” Astarion said. “Anyways, the real reason why you’re here is because some careless tiefling crushed your tent underfoot. I couldn’t just let you sleep out in the open by yourself.”

Ria’s eyes widened in shock upon hearing his response.

“W-wait, nobody put my tent away during the party?” she gaped, a bit horrified that if she hadn’t been with Astarion last night she would’ve been crushed in her sleep.

Astarion shrugged casually, as if he couldn’t care less. “Aren’t you happy that you were with me last night? Gods forbid what would’ve happened to you if you had stayed in your tent during the party.”

Ria swallowed thickly, a shiver running down her spine as she tried not to think too much about it. She was upset that nobody had bothered to put away her tent. Despite how kind and accommodating everyone had been to her since she had joined the group, it shocked her that nobody had thought about her small tent. She didn’t want to think about where she would be sleeping once nightfall came again now that the tent was destroyed. Exhaling deeply, she walked towards the entrance of Astarion’s tent.

“Oh, you don’t want to keep me company?” Astarion’s voice rumbled from above.

“I need to get out of here,” she answered quickly. “And I desperately need a decent bath, especially after what I went through yesterday. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to ask Shadowheart if I can borrow some of her soap.”

Ria didn’t hear a word from the pale elf as she exited his tent and her eyes squinted as the morning rays of sunlight shone down on her tiny frame. It was still somewhat early, not everyone had risen yet. She assumed most of them were feeling the effects from the party last night. As if to remind her, a searing pain flared in her skull as she walked towards Shadowheart’s tent.

Perhaps I can ask Shadowheart to remove this hangover for me with her magic while I’m at it.  

As she neared the cleric’s tent, she paused as she noticed the half-elf emerge from the tent with a very happy expression painted across her features. It seemed as if Shadowheart had a very good night. The half-elf’s gaze quickly fell on the borrower and her smile deepened upon seeing her.

“Shar’s blessing to you, Ria.”

Ria was somewhat perplexed by the mention of Shar – she had briefly heard Shadowheart mention the name a few times, but she couldn’t recall exactly what it meant. Perhaps she would have to ask the cleric later when she wasn’t feeling so horribly hungover.

“Good morning,” she replied thickly, wincing as more pain pierced through her skull. “Did you have fun last night?”

Shadowheart’s face practically lit up upon hearing the borrower’s question. “Oh, it was wonderful. Karlach and I basically talked the entire night away, since, well, we couldn’t exactly touch each other. She mentioned that perhaps we could find some temporary ways to cool her down, so maybe I’ll be able to steal a kiss from her very soon. How was your night?”

Ria could only offer the cleric a very weak smile as her head continued to pound violently against her skull. She was happy for Shadowheart and Karlach, but she couldn’t express her full support when her head felt as if it wanted to explode.

“To be perfectly honest, I’m terribly hungover,” she murmured, her eyebrows knitting together. “I can barely remember what happened last night.”

Shadowheart’s eyes widened in concern, and the cleric immediately kneeled so that she wasn’t towering over the borrower anymore.

“Oh, that simply won’t do,” the cleric said, a green aura beginning to radiate from her hands. “Just hold still for a moment, I’ll rectify that in a second.”

Ria froze in place as Shadowheart’s index finger softly touched her forehead, magic coursing through her body as the throbbing pain in her skull gradually faded until it was completely gone.

Shadowheart retracted her finger, smiling softly at Ria.

“How do you feel now?”

“Much better, thank you.” She heaved a deep sigh of relief, thankful that the pounding feeling in her brain was gone.

“Anytime,” Shadowheart replied softly.

“I do have another favour to ask, though,” Ria quickly added. “I am in desperate need of a good bath; do you have any soap that you can spare?”

“Oh, absolutely!” Shadowheart exclaimed, quickly dipping into her tent without another word. A few moments passed and the half-elf reemerged with a bar of soap in her hand along with a clean purple handkerchief.

“I can give you a ride down to the river as well,” Shadowheart added. “There is no need for you to walk all the way over there by yourself. This’ll be much faster for you.”

Ria stared up at Shadowheart with gratitude, a smile pulling at the corners of her mouth.

“Thank you so much, that is very kind of you.”

“This is nothing, honestly. I’m happy to help whenever you need me, okay?”

Ria had never been more thankful for a bath in her entire life. After being dunked in beer, swirled around inside Astarion’s mouth, and sprayed in blood, the feeling of cleanliness felt like a blessing from the gods themselves. She had scrubbed vigorously against her skin using a chunk of the soap that Shadowheart had provided until she was adamant that the smell of blood and beer was completely gone.

Shadowheart offered her hand to the borrower, her palm facing upwards. The cleric’s kindness almost made Ria forget about the entire tent scenario, and she eagerly climbed into her waiting hand.

***

She had also used this as a good opportunity to clean her clothes, which, at this point, were more like a bunch of rags now with how tattered they were. Her shirt and pants were thoroughly scrubbed, and were now drying in the sun on a small rock along the shore. Hopefully when she had finished her bath, they would at least be somewhat dry enough for her to wear comfortably. 

She released a sigh of contentment as the cool waters of the river rushed over her. It was a welcome change to how gross she had been feeling over the past few days. Being able to finally be clean was exactly what she needed. A few more minutes passed as she enjoyed the soothing waters of the river and massaged her fingers through her auburn locks.

As she continued to massage her scalp, a flood of memories from the tiefling party suddenly crashed through her brain like a tidal wave. It seemed since Shadowheart had cured her of her hangover, it had allowed her to tap into those foggy memories from the previous night.

Ria slowly stopped scrubbing her hair as she remembered her heartfelt talk with Astarion – the fact that he had approached her by himself and apologised for what had happened at the Goblin Camp almost made her jaw hit the ground and her chest tighten. But what shocked her most of all, was the fact that she had gotten so horrendously drunk with the pale elf that she had fallen asleep on his leg.

Oh gods…that’s why I woke up in Astarion’s tent…this is humiliating.

At that moment, she wanted nothing more than to bury herself alive so she wouldn’t have to show her face at camp ever again. At least none of the others – other than Astarion of course – had witnessed her drunken antics. The fact that she had allowed herself to be so vulnerable and drunk around Astarion was utterly mortifying to say the least. She knew she would never hear the end of it from the vampire spawn, and it surprised her that he hadn’t shared that detail with her when she had woken up in his tent that morning.

Perhaps I should get out now before I drown myself in the river from embarrassment.

As she began to stride towards the shoreline, she noticed the water rippling strangely. Pausing briefly, her brows furrowed as she noticed the bizarre movement.

Thud. Thud. Thud.

She sucked in a sharp breath as small earthquakes rattled the sediment beneath her feet. Someone was approaching, and quickly. Frantically scanning the area, she immediately sprinted towards the shoreline and ducked behind a large rock that was jutting out of the ground. In her haste she grabbed the handkerchief that Shadowheart had given her and wrapped it around her trembling form.

The tremors quickly became more intense with each passing second and she clapped a hand over her mouth as Astarion’s towering figure came into view. The pale elf was carrying a small rattan basket at his hip and he gently placed it on the ground near the shoreline. He seemed to be completely oblivious to Ria’s presence.  

Why did it have to be him?

Much to her astonishment, the vampire spawn began to remove his clothing. Her eyes widened as she watched him remove his ruffled shirt, revealing an expanse of toned abs, defined muscles rippling beneath his lustrous pale skin.

She knew that averting her gaze was the right thing to do, but it was almost as if she was under some hypnotic spell as she continued to watch the pale elf remove the rest of his clothing. As he peeled off his dark pants, she had to stifle a laugh as she saw Astarion’s shockingly blue underwear. Her amusement quickly faded as the bright blue underwear soon flew off, revealing his incredibly pale behind.

At this point, Ria had enough strength to tear her gaze away from his giant naked frame before she saw anything else. Her skin burned like fire as her brain attempted to process what she had just seen. Her stomach twisted into knots, the realisation that she had just willingly witnessed Astarion strip and seen things she really shouldn’t have begun to sink in. Burying her face with her hands, she pressed her back against the stone and wrapped the handkerchief around her body tighter.

At least Astarion doesn’t know I’m here. Maybe I can leave without him noticing.

As soon as the thought popped into her brain, she quickly dismissed it. If she decided to make a stealthy escape, there was a very strong chance that the vampire’s keen eyes would be able to detect her scurrying away. Perhaps if she was deathly quiet, she could wait it out until the pale elf had finished his bath and went on his way.

I could be waiting here a while…he really does care about his appearance.

Chewing on her bottom lip somewhat anxiously, she waited behind the stone as the occasional splashing noise filled the air. Time seemed to pass by longer than usual as she waited with baited breath for the elf to finish his cleaning routine.

Gods, I’m going to be here forever at this rate!

Somewhat gingerly, she decided to peek a small glance over the stone to see if Astarion was anywhere near to being done with his bath. Her breath caught in her throat as she saw his towering figure half submerged in the river, his toned and very pearly white back was now facing her. For whatever reason, she found it almost impossible to tear her gaze away from his form. Strongly defined scars were raised above his skin, a stark contrast to the pale smoothness of his back. Her brows furrowed as she stared intently at his scars. The arrangement of them seemed very deliberate as if someone had carved it strategically into his back. She squinted her eyes at his back and her jaw slacked.

The scars were written in Infernal, the language of the Hells.

When she was a child, her family lived in a home owned by a small family of tieflings just along the outskirts of Baldur’s Gate. The tieflings had many things written in Infernal and she remembered seeing some of the writing scattered around the house when she went borrowing with her father. What any of it meant though was unknown to her.

“Enjoying the show, darling?”

An icicle of terror jolted straight through her chest as Astarion’s voice pounded through her tiny eardrums. She had been so caught up with deciphering his scars, she hadn’t realised his head had turned to the side and was looking directly at her. Her entire body was washed over with utter horror as she rapidly hid back behind the stone. As she reeled in shock, the sound of water splashing filled her ears as Astarion moved around in the river.

“There’s no point pretending to act like you aren’t here. I can hear your little heartbeat pounding away after all, remember?”

Swallowing thickly, she attempted to steel herself.

“I-I was just leaving!”

She scrambled over to where her clothes were sunning on the small rock and snatched up the clothing hastily, refusing to look where Astarion was in the river, and quickly returned to her spot behind the rock so that he couldn’t see her anymore.

“I thought vampires couldn’t swim in running rivers,” she said shakily.

“Another perk from having the mind flayer parasite,” Astarion answered. “I can run through rivers, walk into homes uninvited, walk in the sun…it’s quite remarkable, really.”

“Of course, that makes sense.” She clutched her clothing to her chest and wasted little time in putting them on.

A small moment of silence passed between them. Ria could hear her own heartbeat pounding so fiercely in her eardrums that it drowned out any other noise.  

“I couldn’t help but to notice you were staring earlier,” Astarion chimed, breaking the silence. “I didn’t realise you were that smitten by me, darling. Although I can hardly blame you when I have these gods given good looks.”

Ria wanted nothing more in that moment to vanish entirely. Blood rushed to her cheeks and her skin burned with embarrassment. There was no use trying to deny it, he had caught her in the act after all for the second time that day. But perhaps she could deter the subject.

“I was only trying to decipher those scars of yours,” she said. “How did you get them?”

There was no response to her question. She couldn’t see his face as she was still hidden behind the rock, but it appeared that her question had struck a chord with him as he was silent for once.

“Astarion?” Ria called out. When she was met with nothing, she cautiously peered around the rock she was hiding behind. Astarion was still waist deep in the river, his lower regions concealed by the water, and a rather pained look was painted across his elegant features.

“You don’t have to answer, I’m sorry for prying,” she said hastily, worried that she may have resurfaced some troubled memories from his past.

“No, it’s quite alright,” Astarion answered, his face sombre. “I was a slave, kept by the Szarr family. The scars are a poem. A gift from my master, Cazador. He considered himself quite the artist and used his slaves as a canvas. He composed and carved that one over the course of a night.”

Astarion paused, his face contorted in discomfort as his eyes glazed over, seemingly lost momentarily in a dark memory of his past.

“He made a lot of revisions as he went.” His jaw clenched as the words fell out of his mouth, his playful behaviour from before had completely vanished before very eyes.

Ria’s eyes widened as she fully absorbed the weight of his words, her mouth parted slightly in shock. She would’ve never had guessed that Astarion had been – or perhaps still is – a slave. A wave of sympathy washed over her as she struggled to think of how to respond.

“I’m so sorry,” she said softly, her brows furrowed. “I had no idea.”

“Oh please, I don’t want your sympathy,” Astarion scoffed. “I was his slave for 200 years of my life. I prayed to every god there was, but no one came to help. No prince in shining armour came to my aid. Of all the things that could’ve saved me, it was the mind flayers. As rotten as they are, they broke Cazador’s spell on me and I was finally able to resist his commands. Now I’ve been conveniently lost.” He peeled back his lips into a growl as his gaze hardened. “They won’t ever control me again.”

Her chest was constricted with sadness upon hearing more of his past. She wanted to offer more words of comfort, but she knew it wasn’t what he wanted to hear given his previous response.

“Why did Cazador write the poem in Infernal?” she questioned.

Astarion’s eyes widened in surprise, seemingly caught off guard by her question.

“Infernal? I…who knows? The bastard was insane.” He ran his fingers through his damp curls, his gaze sharpening as he focused back onto her. “Better question is, how does a little borrower like you know the language of the Hells?”

“My family lived under the floorboards of a house full of tieflings,” she answered, a small smirk pulling at the corners of her mouth. “I can’t read it though, but I know Infernal when I see it.”  

“Well, that is certainly interesting.” He massaged shampoo through his scalp before rinsing it off in the river, shaking droplets of water from his wet locks. “Now, if you are quite done staring, I would like to continue my bath.”

Scarlet blossomed across her face and she quickly spun on her heel so that she was no longer facing him.

“I told you I was planning on having a bath earlier, it’s your own fault for blundering down here when you knew I would be here too.” She sucked in a sharp breath, trying to hide her own embarrassment. It was bad enough that Astarion had already caught her staring at him when she had woken up in his tent that morning, now she had seen other parts of his body that had previously been left up to her imagination.

“I didn’t realise you were going to take so long,” Astarion responded. “Everyone is packing up camp and getting ready to move on, and it was vital that I had a decent bath before we hit the road again. Oh, what I wouldn’t do for a proper bath…”  

“Well, maybe if someone hadn’t dropped me in a tub of beer and then proceeded to stick me in their mouth, I wouldn’t have had to spend so much time cleaning myself,” she shot back.

Ria still had her back turned to him, but she could feel in the air that he was rolling his eyes.

“The fact of the matter is that you’re still here,” he said. “I never took you for a voyeur, but I suppose we’ve both learned something new about each other.”

“I’m leaving!” Ria began to stride very quickly towards the direction of camp, not daring to look over her shoulder as her skin burned as hot as Karlach’s engine. “And I am not into voyeurism!”  

“Whatever you say, darling.”

[kei-crocker]

I was thinking about that exact moment when Phantom splits off from Danny and becomes Dark Danny, and why he acted the way he did: 

After watching that Butch Hartman interview, it’s clear canon of the show and canon from the AGIT don’t quite match up, so honestly, it doesn’t make much sense to analyze that episode using the AGIT canon.

Still, AGIT does say Phantom, the ghost half of Danny, originally came from his desire to protect others. But after the Nasty Burger incident, he lost everyone he’d ever wanted to protect, and all the power he’d gained to protect them suddenly had no purpose. So maybe that's why Phantom’s existence got so warped—his entire purpose and the source of his power had disappeared. And then Danny, dealing with PTSD, asks to have his humanity removed so he can escape those painful memories. The irony here is that, by doing this, he ultimately causes his human half to be destroyed. It’s possible that the moment Danny wished away his humanity, the fate of his separated kid self was already sealed. Phantom wasn’t acting out of rage or losing his mind—he was acting with purpose, specifically to rid himself of his own humanity.

Right before killing his human half, Phantom forcibly splits Vlad and Plasmius, then enshadowed(posessed? I don't know what is the proper word for this) Plasmius. I see this as an extension of his original goal: he may have lost the ones he wanted to protect, but he was still seeking power. Phantom, having lost half of his strength(Danny's human part), saw that absorbing Plasmius might be his only way to become stronger. And then, to fulfill his other objective, he kills his human half to rid himself of his last bit of humanity.

Based on canon, it feels like ghosts’ ultimate goal, ironically, is survival. They get stronger through human emotions or interactions, but if they can’t do that, they lose power and potentially fade away. They’re technically dead, but at the same time, they're “living” their second life as ghosts, striving for survival by interacting with humans in pursuit of their goals.

From this angle, I feel like I understand Dan’s actions a bit better. Sure, he did say he’d do *anything* to get rid of Danny Fenton, but I think survival was also part of his goal. Dan is made up of the part of Danny that wanted strength to protect loved ones, and of Vlad’s pride—the part of him that wanted his loved ones to stay by his side, and this makes him ultimately craved power. Dan was bound to seek power; it was what kept him going. But once he lost his purpose and the means became the goal, he became twisted and distorted.

So if ghosts gain strength by following their purposes, giving them the power to continue existing, then what happens to Dan, a complete ghost who’s lost his original purpose? Can he set a new goal and live out his second chance? Or is a fading future all that awaits him now?

+

It’s interesting (and pretty ironic) that Vlad’s probably most loved—or most wanted love from—Maddie, Jack, and Danny’s family. So for Phantom, after absorbing Plasmius, to go and kill human Danny himself? That’s… dark. By killing the last person Vlad had to love or be loved by, Plasmius became just as twisted and warped as Phantom himself. The very reason Vlad pursued power vanished, just like Danny’s reason to seek power disappeared.

And then out of that despair and desolation that he’d brought on himself, Dan is reborn, only now he’s lost any memory of why he wanted power in the first place. All that’s left is this monstrous, destructive force, hell-bent on destroying everything in his path.

[veilkeeper]

The Sacrifice of Souls, Part 1

alt title: the completely surmountable issue of dying

welcome to my 2-part essay about the conclusion of emmrich's story line. this part will focus on the actual quest(s) involved and analyze the decisions we make. part two will be about the effects on the romance, particularly as i am approaching it with my rook, corentin.

spoilers ahead! beware that both essays are going to assume you have completed The Sacrifice of Souls and at least one of the follow up quests, Heir to the Dead or Will and Testament. if you have not, i suggest returning to this later and playing it out yourself.

so what are we even talking about?

for my purposes, about 90% of the sacrifice of souls is irrelevant. here are the important bits: hezenkoss puppets a giant skeleton monster powered by the gloaming lantern, manfred sacrifices himself to rip it out of the thing's chest, and emmrich risks his life to free the souls trapped inside, symbolically overcoming his fear of death (for the moment).

when manfred's beautiful skeleton body is brought before the lich lords in the necropolis to ask if his spirit can be recovered, the lich lords give an ultimatum: they will allow emmrich to bring manfred back, but it will remove his candidacy for lichdom.

"how many exceptions 'til tyranny?" they say. if emmrich is to become a lich, he must be able to accept that people he cares about will die as he lives on.

emmrich is obviously extremely conflicted. he's being forced to choose between his life's work or having his pseudo-child back; he is torn because he at once wishes to spare himself the pain of losing someone, while also wanting to "honour death and let him rest."

from there, the choice is given to the player: encourage emmrich to bring manfred back, or encourage him to pursue his life's work and become a lich.

if you save manfred, it starts heir to the dead. you accompany emmrich to the necropolis, reminisce about manfred, and summon his wisp back to his body. he shows a newfound knack for magic and becomes an apprentice, while emmrich gets to go full dad-mode and commit to preparing manfred for the now inevitable future where, one day, emmrich will pass on. but when asked how he feels about that, emmrich simply says that though he will always wonder about what could have been, he "would not trade this for anything."

it's been brought to my attention that most people have probably picked the manfred ending without really thinking about it. which makes sense, everyone wants to save emmrich's (and if you're romancing him, your) skeleton son. but it does mean you haven't seen the lich ending, which is kind of a shame because it's also really good.

first, it does take a little convincing. it's not enough to simply say "but this is your life's work!" emmrich expresses that he wasn't prepared for the reality of what it actually meant to have people he cared about die (which is an interesting thing, because even though he is an orphan, his parents died when he was quite young. this may be the first time someone as important to him as manfred is has passed away while he was an adult who was able to fully process what that feels like). rook goes on to tell emmrich that it's enough to just remember those who have passed—while acknowledging that one day, they too will count among that number.

with that encouragement, emmrich agrees that he has to let manfred go, and he decides to begin preparation for his final rites into lichdom, starting the quest will and testament. like before, you accompany him to the necropolis, only this time you will be acting as his chosen witness as he enters the chambers beyond to have his soul measured by the dead and, if successful, will emerge as a lich.

as an aside, even if you have no intention to play the rest of the game with lich!emmrich, i highly recommend playing far enough to see the conclusion of this quest. there's a weight to it all, particularly if you've romanced him, and the cinematic is quite beautiful. you very much get the sense that you're sending your friend/lover away to potentially die.

when he emerges, it is as a lich—exactly as he said he would be. skeletal, but still in complete "possession of himself." it transitions to a short scene where he informs the rest of his friends of his transformation, and after receiving a response of support, his quest line is concluded.

okay, so why are you talking about this?

well, because it makes me insane, if you can't tell already by the fact that we're 600+ words into the first of two essays on the topic. but why does it make me insane?

the first answer to that, and perhaps the most important, is that the writing is really good. i'm going to say some critical things after this, so i want to be clear up-front that the writing is really good. sylvia feketekuty has managed to make a decision that otherwise would feel like a very black and white "good end" vs "bad end" feel like two viable, valid endings that just have different pros and cons lists.

and it's also just ludonarratively extremely good. all of the endings for our companions are meant to translate into a more support focused or a more combat focused "hero of the veilguard" ability, and for emmrich's these mesh extremely well with the conclusion of his story. an emmrich that has accepted a role as a caretaker for manfred is more supportive on the field, and an emmrich that has accepted a role as a powerful defender of the necropolis is more effective while fighting. it's by far the least important aspect of all this, but i enjoyed it and it's useful for something i'm going to say next so i wanted to put it here.

the second reason this makes me insane is that we are making two completely separate choices at the same time. we are answering two vastly different questions ("should you save manfred?" and "should you become a lich?") with a single dialogue option.

i understand why. combining these two choices and making them interdependent on each other raises the stakes. it's a really clever way to complicate what would otherwise be a wildly easy decision. it also, as said before, creates two extremely distinct endings for emmrich (see, i do these things for a reason), which is important not just for replayability but also for narrative satisfaction. endings that are extremely similar or that have no stakes make your choices as a player feel irrelevant, which is something that you don't want in an RPG. a non-lich emmrich without manfred is not going to feel like a significantly different ending than what emmrich had been doing before these quests concluded, and thus would not be satisfying. likewise, lich!emmrich with manfred would mean that emmrich would have everything he ever wanted with zero sacrifice, which is boring.

however... making these two choices at once puts us in a sticky spot, because they're contradictory. emmrich's arc has largely been about his inability to accept mortality—and not just his own. if you bring him along on blood of arlathan, you can overhear him responding to elgar'nan's attempts to entice him with the promise of being able to bring back the dead. despite being a Mourn Watcher, he just hasn't been able to bring himself to accept that people die, and you shouldn't be able to do anything about that (remember that big, bold lich lord quote up near the top?).

so when the climax for his arc comes along, you get to tell him to accept his death but not manfred's, or to accept manfred's death but not his own.

do you see the contradiction? nowhere in there are we truly encouraging him to accept the natural, inevitable cycle of life and death (as a Watcher probably should). we're just telling him which death he should accept as natural.

conclusion...?

i'm not saying either ending is unsatisfying, nor am i saying that there wasn't good reasons to write the endings as they are. for the purposes of this game, feketekuty did an amazing job with emmrich. she managed to take a character that i think in any other game would have been written off as boring and make his story extremely compelling.

but in a way, looking at it holistically and outside of the context of what bioware's writers were required to do, it feels like there's this massive gap there, where we've failed to properly address the actual underlying issue that made this choice so difficult for emmrich. and his brief bout of bravery at the end of the sacrifice of souls is forgotten, when it could have been potent fuel for an argument against lichdom as proof that he can face death when he has something to fight for (or even as an argument for lichdom; facing his death head-on like that may have only intensified his fear of his own fragility), but instead it just goes unaddressed.

additionally, by combining the choice to save manfred and the choice to become a lich, it removes the possibility for us as the player (and rook as a character) to voice concerns about what lichdom means and represents. to be fair, other characters largely handle this in banter (lucanis in particular has excellent banter about the cost of immortality, which i have briefly discussed before), but not being able to voice concerns, especially as emmrich's lover, feels like a missed opportunity.

in the most ideal world, we as the player would have been able to discuss lichdom, mourning and grief, our thoughts and feelings on death, etc with emmrich over multiple conversations, and through a tally of our expression of opinion on the topic, emmrich would come to a decision on lichdom and saving manfred himself. but due to the constraints of this being a video game, for obvious reasons that is not the case.

again, i cannot stress enough that i actually loved this quest line. regardless of your decision, emmrich ends up in a place he can find satisfaction, and his journey feels earned. i fully recommend trying out both endings in replays, because i think you might be surprised by how well they both work. i just think there's a little bit left on the table still.

which gives me something to play with. stay tuned for part 2 on the romance stuff. we're going to need a scalpel for the gutting we're doing.

(link to part 2)

[arcadianico]

1, 6 and 16 for the choose violence ask game (I think I might know what you'll answer for some of these, but I still wanna see it!!)

1. the character everyone gets wrong

tilín. my god. i can tell when someone has ever watched a stream with q and tilín, or even any spanish stream with tilín because they consistently have the worst takes. also if someone only calls tilín by she/her or feminine terms that’s a red flag for bad takes imo. i’ve never seen someone do that and not be wrong about them. they were sad and lonely sometimes, but they were also over exaggerating and outright lying for food and money. they explicitly told qq they were doing it to help him get rich. everyday i am subjected to awful takes about tilín.

6. which ship fans are the most annoying?

sorry to my tnt mutuals but it’s 100% qtntduo. stop making everything qq (and someone also elq?!?) does be about wilbur. also outside povs on the ship don’t tell you anything about how those people actually feel, and qq has made it very clear that he doesn’t want to call it love. maybe because he knows it isn’t, maybe because he isn’t sure what he’s feeling, but just because bad says qq is in love with wilbur doesn’t mean he is. it means he seems, from an outside perspective, like he is, which is a different question

16. you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

qtntduo, especially with tallulah as both of their daughter. sorry i just really find qwilbur boring and also the whole draw of ctnt is that they’re insanely toxic and could never work out. qtntduo and the projected domestic bliss just bores me. also i hate that for some reason tallulah gets so much more attention when talking about qq’s relationship with the eggs than his actual child, richas. (also tilín but they’re dead and have been for a while so there’s at least reasons for that, even though tilín is still and pretty much always has been qq’s biggest motivator/emotional drive for basically the whole server since the eggs were introduced)

[partycule]

confession time while im mildly sleep deprived and thus can't be held accountable for my conclusions: isabeau is my least favourite isat character. this is because i am allophobic

[threeacttragedy]

Great blog but if all was not good with L and A why was he holding her in the water in Italy. Seemed off

Appreciate the question because it's one that's been on a lot of people's minds for months!

The relationship between Luke and Antonia will always be a mystery. We will never be privy to everything that happened between them. We will never know whether they were serious, casual, phony, simply part of the same friend group, whatever label you want to put on them.

Eventually I will write out my thoughts on Antonia -- because, trust me, I have some (and, no, they're not mean-spirited) -- but to make a long story short, some things to note that also "seem off" are:

Italy was roughly four months ago. We have not seen Luke and Antonia together since. The only interaction appears to be two likes per month from Luke on Antonia's grid.

Even if we're going to consider the Spanish resort pictures, we have to take into consideration that Antonia was removed from Luke's narrative. Luke seemingly filled that grid post with images that were Polin and/or Lukola coded (the two fingers -- that man will never be able to put up two fingers again without evoking a carriage scene; the chaise-style bench; the cake and its accompanying emojis). He also immediately came to the rescue by clarifying the cake picture (effectively squashing any accusations that he had removed Nicola from the cake). Regardless of whether Antonia was there, Luke removed her from his narrative. It was Antonia that tried to slip it back in with her October 25 post. The interesting thing there is that no one would understand her reference to being in Spain except...Lukolas. The general public wouldn't give that picture a second thought.

To my knowledge, Luke didn't like posts from third parties that included Antonia in them over the summer. For example, when Rory posted to his grid on July 6, 2024, he included pictures of Luke and Antonia (separate images). Luke did not like this post. Sienna posted the same day, with a picture that included Antonia. Luke didn't like that one either. I am not saying Luke has to like every post (in fact, I've blogged on this already), but it is something to consider.

After Papsmear, there was really no reason for Luke not to step up and "claim" (gross word, by the way) Antonia. The damage had been done. He could have protected her in some way from the fandom, but he chose to remain quiet. Wait, not quiet, he chose to post his I-Won't-Let-Cressida-Ruin-Our-Evening story.

To be honest, the entire Luke and Antonia situation has had me going back and forth for months. My advice to people is to look at things collectively. Do not look at a single event and decide, oh, yeah, that's the absolute final answer. Instead, use that single event (assuming you find it intriguing enough) as the starting point for your opinion on the matter. Remember to go backwards, forwards, and sideways in your analysis, and be willing to adjust your theory as you collect information.

[rexscanonwife]

Concept sketch of my new JJBA self insert and her stand, BellaDonna (who will eventually be known as Madonna). Inspired by the song 'Like a Prayer' by...well, Madonna! @sapphire-heart-tippy

(lore dump under the cut, TW for mentions of animal injury and religious trauma)

My self insert (who will also go by Jane) grew up in a deeply religious family and tried to be a good jehovah's witness child that made her parents proud.

One day, she comes up with the power to heal various injuries and ailments, almost to the point of being able to revive the dead. She figures she's given this power by the lord himself and vows to do good with it, but when she's found using them to heal a bird that had been wounded by a cat, her mother falls into hysterics thinking that she MUST be possessed by the devil to have such abilities.

She's punished and shunned by her community while her mother prays for a cure and though she tries to repent her power doesn't seem to go away, so eventually her mother snaps and drags her into the wilderness and attempts to throw her to the bottom of an old well.

Her Stand, which had previously not manifested physically, appears then to cushion her fall and eventually she manages to pull herself out of the well with her Stand's help, who she now believes to be a guardian angel. But not wanting to return home, she runs away to face the world alone, growing jaded and bitter over time. She loses all of her faith, and the power to heal inverts itself, becoming a sort of poison. Something that LEECHES life, rather than heal it.

When she's an adult (my age irl so 25 I guess) she's made her way by becomes a bounty hunter/assassin using her Stand and eventually catches the attention of Dio. Who takes her in and explains to her what her Stand REALLY is, promising to teach her how to properly wield those powers if she agrees to serve him. She reluctantly takes his offer, but starts to see him as a familial figure, since no one else had ever tried to nurture or even accept her gift. Dio is the one who giver her Stand the name BellaDonna, after the deadly plant!

[soullessjack]

bringing back these things in the. Meantime

[tea-cat-arts]

Mihoyo may have forgotten Su is just as big a nerd as Bronya and Kosma, but I sure haven’t.

Really feels like missed comedic potential though. Like, maybe they could’ve had Su desperately trying to hide that he actually gets Kosma and Bronya’s references, but he keeps having to translate for them, so everyone else is slowly catching on to Su (meanwhile Kevin knows damn well about Su’s mech phase and is desperately trying not to laugh at him). Or maybe have Su be like one of those anime nerds that was really into Akira and other older anime and tries to bond with them over it, but he hasn’t seen anything that was made in like the past 15 years so all his references are incredibly outdated.

Or for other occupation related humor, he could just have extensive knowledge of poisons and dangerous chemicals that just comes up in casual conversation and concerns everyone else around him. Or give him a sorta back and forth with Vill-V on what would or wouldn’t kill a man, but in like the most casual/deadpan tone

I haven’t really thought about this point well enough to articulate it well, but you can derive comedy from someone just being enthusiastically nice. The best example I can think of this is Tanjiro from Demon Slayer

Idk, it just feels like Mihoyo just doesn’t really know what to do with Su a lot of the time