#and they probably haven’t reached a desperate stage

[niaerinisms]

So like I was thinking about ID!MC (with the new book coming next week) and is it just me or do they not drink blood after being turned? I thought the implication was that new vampires desperately need to drink blood after they’re turned but we don’t get that with MC? I suppose the wine could’ve been blood but MC also gets the choice not to drink it. It’s probably nothing but I find it interesting…..

[stevefromupsidedown]

dying on the inside • steve harrington x fem!reader

synopsis: Steve’s grief has been on the same stage for months : denial. He just can’t do it. Living without her is just impossible. warnings: dead!fem!reader, use of she/her pronouns, use of strong alcohol, talk about death, grief, tears, blood, references of past sexual intercourse (NO smut!), grave and lethal injuries, pure hurt and trauma (what is comfort? what is fluff? what is happiness) word count: 2.3k This material is @takemetothelakes-poets’ property.

The light of the day was a godsend, it announced warmth, light, life.

On days like those Steve would try to enjoy them as much as he could, even if he had his job at Family Video, he would probably arrange an impromptu date with his girlfriend.

A picnic on the hills of Hawkins, where, at this time of the year, was blossoming with flowers, the sun set low and late. Birds chirping on the edge of the forest. 

He could almost hear her laughter as he was lying in his bed, facing the night. Cold, dark, unwelcoming. 

Nights had become a nightmare, quite literally and metaphorically. 

An opened door to nightmares, waking in tears, sweat and out of breath. Or it was the cold embrace of insomnia, lulling him awake to see the short hours of the night. The sunrise peeking through his curtains.

When his bed felt uncomfortable he would throw a cardigan around his shoulders and sit by his pool, watching as the night transformed into the day, the sky first taking a purple colour then moving into pink, bits of orange, finally blue.

It seemed peaceful, and it kinda was, sometimes, but mostly, it was a river of unstoppable thoughts, and voices. And it happened a lot more than he would like to admit.

He didn't get nightmares until the Soviets, but it didn't last long, when Vecna/Henry/One came around, the atrocities they saw, the loss they experienced, it began to be too much. 

"You look lonely," her voice said, he closed his eyes at the sensation of her presence. It almost brought tears to its tired features.

"Without you, I am," he opened his eyes to turn his head towards the sound of her voice. 

He had an oversized hoodie on, the hood lazily resting behind his neck, red and sleepless eyes, exhaustion written on his face. 

Lied on a sun lounger by his pool, wrapped in a thin and fuzzy blanket. His house was deadly silent as he was alone, as always.

She was imitating his position on the sun lounger, her eyes looking so deeply into his tired ones. A soft smile on her face.

There was a comfortable silence, as they looked at eachother, Steve let his mouth speak before thinking, he was way too tired for that anyway.

"I've missed you. A crazy lot." 

“I know. But you know I had to do it, we’ve been through this already.” 

“Yeah, I know, but in the most desperate time... like right now… I still wish you hadn’t.” 

Her eyes moved from his to something near and she winced, he followed her gaze and realised she had seen his glass of whiskey sitting by a footrest he used as a coffee table and he grimaced. The ice was almost completely melted, its remaining clinking softly against the edge of the glass. 

“I haven’t seen you with a glass of whiskey since senior year, three years ago.” 

Escaping from his blanket, bending on the side he reached for his glass, two small pieces of ice remained on the surface, it looked like an iceberg ripped apart. 

Since Vecna, the invasion in Hawkins, memories from that night were the source of his nightmares and his unfinished grief. Some nights finished in a few glasses of his father’s favourite bottle of whiskey, it seemed to either appease or fuel his demons. It was a solution, a very poor one at that, but the only one that gave him comfort. 

“It's just a couple glasses here and there," his voice was so low he didn't even know if he could be heard but she did.

"Whiskey is your sad drink. Just like beer is your party drink. Steve.." 

He took another sip from his glass, lying back on the sun lounger, holding his glass with only two fingers, he closed his eyes as he savoured the burning taste of the alcohol on his tongue.

"You're not really here, so.. I don't see why you care," his tone became harsher as he drank, he had opened his eyes to take a better look at her face. 

"What makes you so certain I'm not really here ? We live in a crazy world." 

Offended by her question, he took yet again another sip of his drink, he furrowed his eyebrows, his eyes fixated on the pool in front of them. 

"Because your coffin is resting in Hawkins' cemetery six feet underground," he started, not looking at her, but he continued, "and like you said, this crazy world killed you. This is some trick, hallucination, I don't know, something my brain has made up because I miss you, and I can't believe you're dead." 

"You just said it. You must believe it somehow."

"No. Saying it doesn't mean I believe it. I know it because I saw it happen before my eyes, but I can't wrap my head around it because it's you. And it's not right for you to be dead." 

He paused, his hair falling in front of his eyes, his chest rising and falling a bit quickly as he talked rapidly. Nervously. His eyes searching in front of him a reason to be nervous, agitated. His brown irises fell upon her. 

"It's not fair and it's not normal, and-... Jesus Christ it's hell without you here." 

It felt like two orbs were piercing through his skull as she looked at him, all ears for him.

"I don't get to see you smile, laugh, sleep, sunbathe, I can't see the stars in your eyes anymore, I can't hear your lame jokes, I can't hear your laugh, I can't hear the sound of your voice. I can't touch you, whether it's getting to hug you, feel your touch, or even just intimacy with you. I can't pleasure you anymore, hear you moan my name when you were on the edge, I can't feel the goosebumps when you were close, or even just kiss your skin. Taste you. Feel your warmth in bed. We can't do anything we had planned because you're not here anymore. And it's like living in hell," his voice broke more and more as he kept ranting on, until his watery eyes couldn't hold on the tears anymore and he started sobbing. 

Shaky breaths left Steve's mouth as his breathing became erratic, his hands in his hair, some handful of hair falling in front his eyes.

She wasn't sure if he would accept her touch, so she preferred staying on her lounger. She knew Steve would never be violent, but it felt out of place to impose herself in such a way.

She waited for him to calm down slowly, the silence comfortable as his tired eyes looked at the sky changing colors, it was rising, deep purple to a mix of lilac, orange and pink.

He let out another shaky breath, closing his eyes to inhale deeply, trying to calm his heart beating crazily in his ribcage.

When he was calmer and comfortable enough to speak, he turned his head, crossed his legs against his chest and his arms crossed, elbows against his knees, his eyes towards her. He cleared his throat. 

"The most horrific thing, apart from your absence and how difficult it is to live with it, is how it happened. And how graphic it was," his voice was soft.

She felt his eyes on her so she turned her face towards him, mimicking his position on the lounger she rested her head in her crossed arms.

"It's like I can relive this moment non-stop. There was so much blood, you were choking on it, barely able to make a syllable. The smell of blood was.. suffocating, heaving. You were in pain and I couldn't do anything to save you. I couldn't stop the bleeding, couldn't get you to a gate to take you to the hospital. And I think it was when the clock rang the four chimes and the portals started opening from the gates.. you..," he paused, he could see the scene happening in his brain as he swallowed up his saliva.

He exhaled loudly, he knew his voice would be shaky, but he continued, "I wasn't fast enough to take you away with me, and the portal completely burned away your legs, your thighs.. your lower body was just.. gone. And the pain was so much worse, you were sobbing, suffocating in your own blood. I couldn't do anything." 

His voice was as a whisper, but very audibly perceptible as they were in complete silence, only the birds awaking above them could be heard.

"I just held you, sobbing, in complete despair. Telling you 'I love you' on repeat. Until eventually, I realised you weren't breathing anymore, my tears mixing in your blood as I realised, terrified, mortified, that you were dead," he paused once again, his eyes zoning on one point by his pool.

"And I wept even more, because you couldn't- can't be dead. Even if I closed your eyes myself,  even if I had to leave you there and God I absolutely hate myself for it. Robin and Nancy had to drag me away from you, because I wouldn't- couldn't move. We had a funeral, but with an empty coffin so it's not real. And I think I even feel worse because your parents don't know they buried it empty, now I understand the way Nancy felt about Barbara. It's unfair. And I'm.. exhausted from all of it. It doesn't even make sense now… to live without you I mean, it's.. bland." 

He finally zoned out of his trance, and directed his eyes towards her, where she was patiently listening to him. 

Even though he had experienced her.. 'presence' since she was gone, he hadn't been so sincere and profound with his feelings, his suffering.

"I don't remember much, except from the cold, and the taste of blood, your tears, the excruciating pain. The suffocating part, that I definitely did not forget. But I also remember the 'I love yous' . They lulled me away to the darkness. To Death." 

The scene was truly just so heart wrenching to witness. Holding her so tightly on his lap, crying his heart out, his hands on both sides of her torso to tentatively stop the bleeding. 

The particles of the Upside Down would sometimes temporarily cloud his vision, the air thick, toxic, and smelled of iron with the quantity of blood around them.

She had her eyes focused on him, remembering his own and their colour, choking on her own blood, her chest kept tightening at the lack of oxygen, the pain was in wave, each time she inhaled it felt like knives were digging deeper into her flesh, and with her lower body gone, she felt it burn, it was horrendous, and the smell was enough to make her nauseous.

Tears clouded both their visions, hot cries of salty water running down their cheeks. 

There was so much he wanted to say, but his shaky voice could only repeatedly tell her he loved her.

And she wanted to say she didn't want to die, she wanted to do so much with him, but she couldn't even breathe correctly, let alone speak. 

Then she started feeling cold, no, she realised she was cold, and exhausted. Her eyes were just shutting off on their own, everything was blurry and she tried to resist, she tried so hard. The sounds were different, she could recognise a bit of Steve's voice trying to keep her awake but she felt herself leaving.. leaving.. and then.. nothing.

When he realised she was gone his hands left her sides to capture her cheeks, trying to wake her. 

His cries were louder, gut-wrencher.

Her eyes were glazed, empty. And he kept saying her name, and he wept so much.

He felt a hand on his shoulder. 

Robin came to his level, in a delicate voice she whispered, "Steve, we have to go, we need to get back to Hawkins. I'm sorry." 

He was so exhausted, so done with all the shit that kept happening. He nodded mechanically.

He let out a shaky breath. He closed her eyes with his thumbs, leaving blood on her cheeks and her eyes. He kissed her forehead, and shortly after that he followed Robin and Nancy. Silent. Empty. 

"I don't know how I can keep going on without you," he whispered, his voice a mess as he was on the edge of tears.

She handed him her hand, inviting him near her, he looked at it then her eyes, he didn't know if he could touch her. But he wanted to feel her so bad.

Getting up from his lounger he made his way toward her's, and sat down right next to her.

She laid her legs and indicated to him to rest against her. 

"Let me hold you, Steve," that's all he needed to be convinced and lay on the lounger with her, in between her thighs as she held him. Head against her chest. Her hands in his hair.

He didn't know if he was dreaming or totally losing his mind, but he cried a few tears of happiness in a comfortable silence.

Until he woke up. Alone. Curled up on the lounger. 

A new wave of despair escalated through him, watery eyes on his whiskey brown irises. 

Running a hand through his hair he let out a shaky breath, holding back the tears as much as he could.

"I love you," he whispered, his eyes closed, letting it overflow, hoping he would feel some warmth to prove her presence, somehow. But nothing. 

"I'll always love you." 

[This material falls under @takemetothelakes-poets’ property. I do not give permission for this material to be copied, modified, reproduced, displayed and used in AI without my written permission. The original characters belong to their original creators, are used in fair-use and are protected by International Copyright Law.]

[hannahssimblr]

Jen and I used to play takeaway bingo when we were teenagers. You wind up at enough of them between midnight and two, and start noticing a pattern. Someone fighting—one point for your card. Someone forgetting what they ordered—another. Someone trying to get into the locked staff toilet. Someone kissing. A hen party singalong. The presence of a blow-up doll. Someone passed out in a booth, getting sick outside the door, a drink exploding over the linoleum, hapless drunks jostled around by bouncers.

The kebab shop is quiet tonight. One point for my card, for the guy snoring in the booth next to Evie and me.

She eats in silence under the lights, those grim fluorescents that hum faintly and cast a contaminated grey hue over everything—the kind I always thought made the food look suspect.

Still, she doesn’t care. She shovels it in. A kebab, handfuls of chips, chicken goujons, leaning over the paper packaging with greasy hands poised like a connoisseur of drunk food. Touch nothing but what you intend to eat. Can’t trust the surfaces. Never risk touching your clothing with saucy hands.

I watch her with admiration, fingers drumming idly on the side of my Pepsi can. I told her I wasn’t hungry, even though my stomach’s been growling since ten, and almost believe it myself when I say it. Hunger’s easier to ignore than the blow to my pride that would come from admitting I can’t afford a bag of chips. I long for the tacos I left on the plate earlier. Thirteen euros for them, sitting now in the bin in the Mexican place while I starve here.

But here I am anyway, watching her eat, the surreal, satisfying feeling of being with her again. Her. In the flesh instead of in memory. The different, less triumphant reality than what I had imagined.

She eyes me while I twist open the can, the hiss of it seeming to remind her I’m here. 

“Wow, greedy,” she says. 

“Yeah, I’m a mess. Might have to have me airlifted out after this feast. Here, can I’ve a chip?” I reach for the bag, and she swats my hand away. 

“No. Look at you—doing that thing boys always complain about. Girls not ordering anything and then stealing their food. This is modern feminism.”

I laugh. “Oh, come on. Just one, for Christ's sake.”

She eyes me distrustfully as I pluck one skinny chip out. 

“You want to count it?” I say. “Make sure I haven’t another hidden in my hand?”

“Ugh, shush for a minute,” she says, this edge of desperation in her voice. “Please, I really just want to eat this.”

I lean back, taking conservative sips of my drink while she tears into her food. It’s a bit insane, the ferocity at which she goes at it. This kind of relentless feasting, head down, elbows out, chewing with mechanical focus. Like if she stopped, she’s have to think about talking to me again.

“Skipped dinner?” I say eventually, and she wipes a blob of sauce from the corner of her mouth. “Didn’t have time to eat today.”

“Ah.”

“You went to some Mexican place earlier,” she says between bites. “The guys were saying.”

“Yeah.”

“Hm, risky move, isn’t it? Bringing you to a Mexican restaurant?”

“Why’s that?”

She shrugs, and a piece of kebab meat drops onto the paper. “Because you’ve probably had, you know, actual real Mexican food when you lived in the states. That’s what everyone always says, isn’t it? Like, ‘oh, you don’t know Mexican food until you’ve had it in America’, or something like that.”

“I imagine they’d probably say that about Mexico, too.”

She just smiles. 

“Well, yeah, the food was okay. It was nice to see Claire and Shane again. That was the real reason I went out. They look good.”

“You think?”

“Yeah, of course. Shane’s gotten real fit, you know? He’s in great shape.”

Evie lets out a derisive laugh. “Yeah.”

“Hm?”

“Like, yeah. He’s working out the whole time. Twice a week home to train, then the coach has him sanctioned to the gym every other day, just about. He’s gone full protein-shake mode, at this stage. I assume he’s aspiring to become the Hulk.”

Feel my smile thinning. “Good for him.”

“Mm. Bit miserable, don’t you think?”

“Clearly you do.”

“Well,” she pauses thoughtfully, swallowing a bite of kebab. “He doesn’t do anything fun, in my view. He doesn’t have free time anymore, and his coach has all these rules, even, about things he’s not allowed to do off the pitch. It’s like a totalitarian regime.”

“Alright,” I say, and her face falls. 

She doesn’t speak then. Just wipes her mouth with a serviette and shifts in her seat. Eyes locked on the food, though there’s something stiff in her posture now. 

I sip my drink, watching her a bit as she pretends to focus on the next bite, but it’s like she’s eating something made of rubber, something unappetizing, eyes zoned out, like she’s left the room without her body. 

The silence drags on longer than it should. 

“So come on, Evie, what’s been going on with you? I can’t believe it’s been so long since we last spoke, to be honest. That’s crazy.”

“I know,” she says, flatlined voice. “Seems we lost touch there at one point.”

I hesitate. “Yeah, I regret that. Life got so busy so quickly and… it was all a whirlwind, really. But, I… uh, I thought of you often, Evie. I always imagined we’d run into each other again.”

“Ah, well, what can you do? Here we are. A year and a half on.” I reach for her arm across the table, a bid for connection, to bridge a gap between us, but she moves away, pretends to want a drink from her milkshake. 

Nice, okay. Good to know where I stand, at least. I fist my hand in my lap. “You look really different. I always think of you with that really long hair you had.”

“Yeah. I cut it all off, as you can see.”

“And do you still run? And swim? Do you do all that stuff you used to?”

“No, actually I don’t,” she says. “I suppose I fell out of the habit when I moved here. Don’t really do most of the things I used to.” She fixes me with a new look, eyebrow quirked in some expression of defiance, like hey, you don’t know me at all anymore, and I will punish you for trying to. “How’s Berlin, anyway? Better than here, after all?”

“Yeah, really good. Hey,” again I move to reach out to her, knowing it’s futile before my hand rises above the table top. Drop it back down to my lap. “If you’re angry with me for losing touch—”

“Why’re you wondering about that?” she cuts in. 

“You’ve gone chilly on me all of a sudden, I don’t know.”

Her eyes widen with fury. “It’d be a bit intense if I was still angry about something like that, wouldn’t it?”

I say nothing. 

“Good to know you got my email, by the way. It was a pity it wasn’t worth responding to, apparently.”

I can’t help but laugh. In shock, really, instead of amusement. “Oh, come on. Don’t be like that. Yeah, I could have dealt with it better, but I was getting to know a new city, and there were all these new people… I left your email sitting there a bit too long and then, well, I suppose it started feeling like it’d be weird of me to respond after so long.”

“You didn’t really try, exactly, did you?”

I let that one sink in for a minute. Rougher than I expected. I always knew I should have tried harder, but I thought she’d just... forgive me, like she was supposed to. I didn’t want to be the bad guy here. I wanted proof I wasn’t one.

Say something. “You could have sent another message.” A reflex. Hollow sounding, and words sticking in my throat like they belong to someone else. Some weak little man.

Her face seethes. Oh, yes, good. She loathes me. Loathing is preferable to indifference. I might actually take that. The horrible, ugly victory of it. The proof she feels. Felt. Missed. Longed, maybe, for me to fill some dark and terrible hole. I hate the thought and the feeling. Sick triumph, like the smell of decay. I didn’t want to ruin you, not really, Evie. I just needed proof I mattered.

“Look, I–” 

“You have a new piercing in your ear,” she says, sharp jerk of her head, like, no. Don’t dare go on. Her features swiftly neutralise as she goes back to picking at her food while I touch my finger to the silver hoop through my left helix bone. 

“Uh, yeah. I did. I figured–” clear my throat and adjust in the seat. “You know, since my dad already hates the other two, might as well swing for a third.” It was a piercing I got done in Slovenia. Drunk. “It hurt,” I offer. Bled, in fact. She might relish the thought, but I don’t disclose it.

“Little baby,” she replies, smile tugging at her lips. “I got the same one done when I was like sixteen and it wasn’t bad at all.”

“I remember the piercings you had,” I say. “You had four on one ear. Can I see?”

And she turns her head for me, revealing a single hoop, the rest of her ear dotted with tiny punctures. Emptiness now in places that used to be studded with silver and gold. 

“I took them out,” she says, rueful. “They didn’t feel like me anymore.” 

And I am too—rueful about it. “Damn. I thought they were cool.” 

She hums in vague agreement and glances around, eyes on a group of rowdy lads who come in, chanting some tuneless chorus on their way to the counter. “So, any other surprises up your sleeve?”

Yes, literally, up my sleeve. I risk it for another chip. She lets me have it, and I pop it, cold and rubbery, into my mouth as I tug my sleeve up for her, exposing the soft underside of my forearm to the fluorescent light.

“Did you design it?”

“No, I just thought it was cool.”

“Ah, okay. And like, does it mean something in particular? The mango, like. Bit unusual.”

“Uh, no, actually. It really doesn’t. It’s just I was in Thailand and kind of thought it’d be fun to get one.” How devoid of depth and opinion do I sound now, really? I think. Have yet to come up with a decent reason to have a tattoo—can’t even formulate a lie about its meaning. Just cos. That’s why. Stupid thing, really. Artistry is impressive, yes, but I’m not even sure I pull it off. 

“Thailand, yeah? When was that?”

“June,” I say. “I always wanted to go. I think everyone should, if they can, to be honest.”

“Well, go on, then,” her straw squeaks in the lid of her milkshake. “Tell me all about it.”

“Oh, I can’t do it justice with words, really.” I retrieve my phone, aware that photos are safer than conversation. “Here, I can show you.” 

“Yeah,” she shrugs, and gets up. Slips into the booth next to me. “New phone, I see. I thought you’d still have that piece of shit you used to.”

“Had to upgrade. Needed maps to survive Berlin.”

“Hope you’re making good use of the torch feature.”

I chuckle. “Alright, well, let’s look at my holiday pictures when you’re ready.”

She leans over but never close enough to touch as I scroll through Bangkok temples, islands, markets. She’s performing interest, laughing at the right moments, asking non-probing questions. 

When her hair accidentally brushes my arm, she yanks away with a whispered “Sorry” like I might be contagious. 

“Here’s Koh Samui. Near the end of the trip.” 

“I could tell. You look aggressively tanned.” 

“Yeah, I tan easily.” 

“I remember.” A flash of something genuine in her voice. 

“There’s a photo somewhere of a monkey that jumped on my shoulder. Let me find it—” My thumb scrolls too far. “Oops. Uh...”

A photo of Astrid and me flashes on screen. At the lake. Barely wearing anything. 

Panic detonates, my thumb fumbles, scrolling too fast, Jonas asleep on the plane. Then back again. Astrid. My hand on her arse. Nowhere to hide from it. 

I can’t exactly lie or say she’s my friend. 

“Uh, yeah,” I look up from the photograph too fast, my thumb stills on her waist, mid-kiss, glowing on screen. “That’s my girlfriend, Astrid,” I admit. Feeble smile. Might as well be confessing to a crime.

Evie’s gone rigid in her seat. Not smiling, just observing. “Yeah, she’s very pretty,” she says. 

“She’s… yeah. She’s absolutely beautiful.” 

I flip to another photo. If we’re doing this. Astrid posing for the camera, hair sleek and straight, so long it brushes the waistband of her bikini. In moments like this, I see her as others do. Objectively. She’s extraordinary.

How’d you pull her? They always ask, and I have no idea how to answer. 

Evie sits there in this calm way that makes me wish she’d just scream, or something.

“Wow. Yeah. There she is,” she says. Her eyes flick to the men at the counter, clinging to each other’s coat sleeves, bawling out their orders, rocking unsteadily as a unit. And it occurs to me that, though they fill the place with noise, her silence is louder than all of them.

I shut the phone off quietly. Slide it back into my pocket. 

“We should go back, I think,” she says, all mild again. “They’ll all be wondering where we are.”

“Yeah, sure,” I reach for her food wrappers to help, but she tells me no. Takes them herself. 

The men start on her as she moves.

 Here, my mate fancies you. Can he have your number? He’s a gentle lover, he is. Ye’d have a beautiful life together. 

Evie looks bored. Takes her coat from the booth and zips it to the top. 

“We going?”

“Yeah, we can,” I hurry after her to hold the door. 

“This was nice,” I say as she slips out ahead of me. “Thanks for the chips.”

“It’s fine. Thanks for coming with me.”

Beginning // Prev // Next

Corresponding LG Chapter

[howlsofbloodhounds]

So we've already seen the reactions that could be provoked by Killer if Color was kidnapped... But I'm wondering just how bad it could be if Killer had to witness Color die right in front of him, helpless, unable to do anything.

I have no idea if this has been talked about before or not but I'd really like to hear your thoughts!!!

Like imagine if Color had made him a promise once before, saying that he promises that he'll never leave him no matter what happens.

And well, now that the promise is broken... Yeah

TW: talk of death and suicide and suicidal ideation, plus past suicide attempt. Stage 1 view death as freedom and rest, and Stage 2 not caring if he lives or dies so longs as he’s useful. Plus Killer being codependent on Color for purpose.

To be honest, I don’t think Killer would think much of promises. While in Stage 1, he’d have a more emotional connection to the idea of course, but I doubt Stage 2 genuinely cares or connects with such concepts. If it’s an emotionally charged moment, he’d probably make a joke or something a blow of the encounter as nothing much.

If we’re going by my little headcanons about Chara and Killer having a scared pinky swear system, where the other is allowed punished with death should the pinky swear ever be broken, Stage 2 would probably take a pinky swear in this context to mean, “If Color swears to never leave me, pinky swears on it, and then leaves me; then I am allowed to kill him.”

Color’s promise would be “I pinky swear not to leave you,” but Killer’s would be, “If you leave me, I am allowed to kill you.”

And I feel that..that idea would seem off to him, which has never happened before. He does not want to kill Color (and Color tells him that’s important, what Killer wants). So I don’t think Killer would offer him a pinky swear, regardless of the sense of security it’d bring him, but as a result he wouldn’t take Color’s promise that seriously. Death and violence is an inevitable part of life to Killer, but he still grieves them all so much in Stage 1.

(Back when he was with Chara and not out in the real world, he could just write the deaths off as not mattering while in Stage 2. Chara can Reset, they’ll come back, it’s fine. It’s different now that death is more permanent and sure, but still, it’s normal.)

Ultimately, I think Color’s death is going to be one of those things he doesn’t remember clearly. He will probably finds pieces of Color in the mundane aspects of life (the little romantic he is)—he’ll see Color in the flames of candlelight, and Color in the cameras he would’ve loved, and Color in the quotes about hope and change. Color in the warmth of heat and the light of the sun. The vibrant colors of rainbows after a rainy day.

If Killer remains with Nightmare, there’s an extreme possibility that he’ll eventually become unable to tell if any of it ever actually happened while in Stage 1. If Color was real, or just a figment the sputtering ashes of Sans conjured up in a desperate attempt to believe that freedom and hope is possible for something like Killer. Especially if Nightmare or any of the other Gang members reinforce this belief, and either don’t allow or get rid of any signs that Color existed.

He likely won’t trust any attempts of people like Dream or Swap, trying to reach out.

I doubt there’d be any chance of convincing Killer to leave Nightmare in this timeline. Hope and light died with Color, and so did the warmth. Nightmare would probably replace him with another Killer soon, whenever Killer’s determination fades away and leaves him a husk.

This type of Killer realizes that peace was possible in a way that wasn’t just death, but that was taken away. He realized what he was missing, what he was being denied, unlike other Killers who haven’t or won’t meet Color or someone like him. He’ll serve Nightmare until he becomes obsolete.

I’m sure he’ll consider ending himself in Stage 1. He did it after he killed Chara. If he has any responsibilities or people to say goodbye to, such as his cats or Swap or the rest of the Epic and Star Sanses, then I’m sure he’ll do that. With plans to off himself as soon as possible if no one stops him; because Killer doesn’t live for himself. Hasn’t for a long time. He practically begs both Color and Swap to put him out of his misery.

He lives either out of spite and Determination, or because there’s still a use someone can make of him; because others want him to.

So in the case where he’s with Nightmare, his Stage 2 self will live out of spite, because he’s still useful, because the Player wants him alive. His Stage 1 self will probably try to take care of his cats. Once his use is up he won’t fight death.

If he’s free of Nightmare, I think this will probably be when the Epic Sanses and Dream and Swap all attempt to keep a close eye on him. I don’t think he’ll like it, he probably doesn’t feel like they’re doing it out of concern for him, but simply because of pity or because they cared about Color and Color cared about him.

I think he’ll spend a lot of time in Stage 2, and as a result, I think he’ll probably just leave the Omega Timeline for a while. It’s too full of memories of Color, of things that won’t happen again, and people looking at him with pity or disgust that are an inconvenience.

He probably won’t take his cats with him; just make sure they’re safe with Ccino or the other Epic Sanses. He won’t ask Delta to come with him (he has Beta to provide stability for, and running away with Nightmare’s pet is just asking to be called a traitor), and neither will he ask Epic or Cross. On some level, Stage 2 Killer probably always just assumed that they all only tolerated him because of Color.

I’m seeing a possibility where Stage 2 packs his bags, drops his cats and their care stuff off with Ccino or at a cat daycare in the Omega Timeline, and attempts to secretly leave some time at night. But maybe he’s headed off by Dream, Core Frisk, Epic, Cross and Delta + Beta.

They’re all here to make sure Killer isn’t attempting to run off to off himself or trying to go back to Nightmare, which, no. He isn’t. Color wouldn’t want that for him.

And besides that, Epic and Cross and XChara are possibly wanting to go with him; wherever Killer is journeying off to. Killer has no idea why the fuck they want to, but he doesn’t care if they come or not. (They’re claim it’s because Killer is their bro (Epic’s words), but he thinks it’s because they don’t want him changing his mind as soon as he slips into Stage 1 and brings out a dagger.)

Delta and Beta would go with them, but as always, Delta won’t risk Beta’s health and safety. So they’re to say goodbye and make sure Killer stays in touch and visits. It’s the same for Dream and Core, but Core is also there to find Killer a safe place to stop at.

They’ll probably attempt to drop him and the others off in an AU that has enough positivity that Nightmare won’t think to look, but also has a place and precautions in place should Killer become a safety risk.

That was the deal when Killer first joined the Omega Timeline—no killing, no harming, no negativity. No going back to Nightmare and risking the Omega Timeline and its residents.

So what I’m saying is they’ll probably plop him into some sort of rehabilitation center, and if he has a therapist in the Omega Timeline (which I doubt), he’ll probably either do online sessions as mandatory or be required to find one in this AU.

Because although he seems fine and perfectly put together in Stage 2 (he’s still not, given how he avoids and dodges any topic discussing Color), everyone knows it’s a different story in every other Stage. Either way, I feel like Color’s death will leave him feeling once again hopeless and trapped—that it’s pointless to want for anything—and that death is the only rest.

(I also wouldn’t be surprised if he starts hearing Color’s voice in his head and seeing his shadowy figure of the corner of his eye eventually, too.)

[booradleysgf]

i saw a poll abt Gaten Matarazzo and Joe Locke’s Toby the other day and even though I haven’t found a full recording of Joe’s performance I think that Gaten is the better Toby AND I HAVE MY REASONS!!!!! this has nothing to do with either of them as people, but i do just think that Gaten having experience in theater definitely shows throughout his performance. while Joe is incredibly sympathetic in the way he approaches Toby, I feel as though he’s just sort of scampering around the stage with a really good singing voice. he’s not really making choices, and if he is, they don’t translate well from the stage. Gaten’s performance is so good because he’s making choices that you can see. his comedy is the result of the way he delivers his performance, whereas Joe’s comedy comes from the lines themselves and the situations. there’s a moment in act i where Sweeney reaches over to tap his leg and—probably because of his experience with Pirelli—he immediately moves out of the way so as not to be so close to him. at the end of act ii when Toby and Sweeney have their scene, it’s very clear that Gaten is making choices with his inflections and movements and the way he goes about things. the way he sings the nursery rhyme, the way he moves into his spot for the light cue, the seamless transition with the blood whereas—in the performance I saw Joe you can tell he’s holding something in his hands until it goes in his pocket. now, to be fair I’ve only seen one performance of each, but then again that’s what you have to go off in theater. the biggest thing is the difference between their “Not While I’m Around” performances. again, they’re both super duper talented and I’m not comparing their singing abilities or anything like that, merely just the way they both embody the same character. Joe delivers a really touching and simple performance, very little movement and what movement he makes feels very necessary to moving the scene along. nothing wrong with that!! in Gaten’s version he uses his body the entire time, taking up space, moving around, really showing the kind of desperation that is needed for this song. he’s incredibly deliberate with everything, but not in a way that’s difficult to watch or clunky. that’s all I have for you folks… this is just my little rant, i thought I’d share. if anyone has any other thoughts or opinions I’d love to hear them :))

[forgelovers]

Ignore if embarrassing, little rant of my au of AGS/AG/SG/AS

I don’t post much on tumblr so sorry if this is messy format hehejfjkf

Maybe it’s because I love angst but I always imagine in another life, if Genesis and Angeal weren’t project children, Genesis would’ve never made it into Shinra. Both Genesis and Angeal had the dream of being first class SOLDIER’s together but only Angeal managed to make it.

Genesis would feel happy for Angeal obviously and hide his disappointment, while Angeal feels guilty like he should have Genesis with him along his journey in Shinra. Genesis would grow up stuck in Banora with not many opportunities, he’d dream of the big city and pretend he’s an actor on stage - but he knows it’s all pointless and will never happen.

They’d grow apart, mostly due to not having much in common anymore but also because of Angeal’s new duties and busy life at Shinra. Angeal would meet young Sephiroth - whom is someone Genesis always admired, seeing news stories of Sephiroth was his favourite thing and Angeal knew how much Genesis would’ve loved to have met Sephy.

Angeal and Sephiroth grow close, maybe even start dating, but the sadness in knowing Genesis isn’t here with him grows.

Finally there’s a chance, some party at work years later (all the boys being late teenagers/young adults), Angeal excitedly gets to invite Genesis out to Midgar to attend this party as his plus one. At this party he gets to meet Sephiroth, but rather than be happy Genesis can’t help but feel so defeated. He feels as though there’s no world where this could’ve been his life, getting to be in a nice city with friends and talking to the one and only Sephiroth. Everything is a reminder of how far behind he is from Angeal, to the point even the famous SOLDIER he admired isn’t that exciting to him anymore.

I don’t know how this story continues, maybe Genesis eventually gives up and cuts contact with Angeal afterwards because he feels like a drag. Or maybe, Angeal opens up to Sephiroth about how guilty he’s always felt around Genesis and how he just wants his friend to be happy. Maybe Sephiroth encourages Angeal to invite Genesis to hang out with the two of them and overtime they start to grow close, trying to get a job in the city for Genesis so he can stay there with them.

I just like the idea of in another life Genesis really didn’t have it all, maybe it’s projection lololol but also his character in Crisis Core always feels like he’s reaching out from that desperation. He’s always seeking another thing to make his life better. So to me, putting him in a life where he has nothing just makes it hurt so much more

Maybe he finds love maybe he doesn’t in that life

Also I think when they were kids Angeal probably had a crush on him while Genesis was busy crushing on Sephiroth from the newspaper, and so when Angeal is distanced from Genesis he no longer feels overwhelmed from his crush but oh no…. Now he likes Sephiroth, and Sephiroth likes him?!? How does he explain this to Genesis

Answer = poly AGS

Also more to add on-

I lowkey haven’t played crisis core in a year so I forgot Genesis is kind of rich, let’s just pretend in this au he comes from nothing ok

[spookyrobbins]

A hypothetical situation: after the plane crash at times it looked like Callie was staying with Arizona out of obligation. Because she was her wife and leaving her disabled wife when she needed her the most isn't something Callie would ever do. But how do you think everything would've unfolded if the plane crash happened when they were still just dating, when there was no daughter who needed her mother to get better and Callie wasn't taking care of her wife, just her girlfriend?

honestly super obsessed with this

bc yeah there’s a different sort of obligation with marriage and a kid

let’s say the plane crash “replaces” africa in s7 so calzona have been together for long enough that they’re fully committed but not so long that they’re really at that marriage stage (bc lbr calzona really weren’t ready for marriage in s7).

plane crashes, lexie dies, mark is grievously injured, arizonas leg is a mess and she’s dying, all standard procedure

i think probably the most crucial thing is that there would likely need to be someone else helping with arizona and it wouldn’t all be on callie. i mean in s7, calzona were just starting to live together and for arizona to suddenly be disabled, i think callie would be calling in help be it arizonas parents or even just teddy. i think they’d both be on less of island bc i think part of the issues in s9 was how isolated calzona was and especially for callie the amount of pressure that put her under with sofia (arizona had her own set of issues with the isolation too ofc) callie would be (and was) way over her head but i think felt a lot more pressure to take care of arizona herself and not need help.

weirdly also i think arizona might be able to process things better bc she and callie aren’t married, they haven’t reached that level of commitment. ofc, arizona would 100% try and break up with callie and callie would 100% yell at her about it.

also the general implication of it being in place of africa and not having sofia, it severs some of the connection between mark and callie which would put callie in a better position. like obviously it’s terrible for callie to lose a close friend. but there’s a difference between losing a close friend and the father of her child. that i think would alleviate some of callie’s stress and grief tbh.

but also i think calzona not being married but being in this incredibly serious situation would put them in a strange place. like callie doesn’t quite know where the line is of what she can and should be doing for arizona and she doesn’t know how to help arizona. and arizona desperately needs callie not to leave but it feels like a forgone conclusion and it’s paralyzing for her

[pinkdaiisies]

Falling (in love) Eddie Munson x fem!reader

summary: eddie is tired of hiding his feelings for you, but when you mention another guy asking you out he gets jealous. you’re mad at eddie until he taps on your window later that night.

warnings: language, mutual pining, bestfriends to lovers, jealous eddie

word count: 1,662

notes: the guy that asks you out is chance, one of the background friends in the basketball scenes! look him up before you read… he is so cute lmao. also i’m really proud of this so i hope you enjoy!

in eddies mind, you were the most beautiful girl to ever walk the face of the planet. he would do anything to show that he loves you… well except tell you.

you have been eddie’s best friend since 7th grade. around freshman year is when eddie first started to realize he liked you much more than just friends. but eddie was too afraid of rejection to ever tell you. i mean why would you want eddie when almost every guy that saw you did a double take? eddie thought you deserved someone better than him.

little did he know that you have been crushing on him since the summer before freshman year. seeing him and his buzz cut at that awkward stage of growing out made your heart flutter. you’ve always tried to flirt with him that summer, but you thought that he didn’t feel the same and he didn’t want to make it awkward so he just ignored it. in reality, eddie was quite oblivious to your flirting that summer.

eddie was getting tired of seeing other guys look at you in the hallway and you smiling back at them. he wanted you to look at him that way. his only solution was to finally express his feelings for you. he found out it’s easier said then done.

“well when i told suzie i liked her she took it very well! it wasn’t awkward at all!” eddie was so desperate for help he went to dustin.

“yeah well suzie is a 14 year old girl and you guys haven’t known eachother SINCE MIDDLE SCHOOL!” dustin did not understand why it was so hard for eddie to just tell you how he felt. it was so obvious that you liked him too!

dustin, lucas, and mike actually thought you two were dating when they first joined hellfire club. they had to ask gareth and jeff if you two were a thing. your guys constant flirting did not go unmisssd by the club.

“listen im like 99% sure she’s in love with you too, so please stop worrying!” dustin tried to reassure the metalhead.

“ok but the one percent! we don’t know for sure!”

“you are the most oblivious man in the world eddie munson.” dustin argued.

-

eddie could not reel his head around the fact that you could possibly have romantic feelings for him. sure you guys were always together, and you let him call you all sorts of names like sweetheart and m’lady, and you guys always went out to the diner on friday evenings, but that’s just what good friends do… right?

eddie was overthinking. he was pacing around his room like a madman thinking about you. so he did what he always did to calm him down. he reached in his bedside drawer and took out the note you gave him sophomore year.

hey dork,

after class do you wanna go eat at the diner? it’s friday and i’m extremely bored

♡

that note started the tradition of going out to eat every friday. eddie felt so silly that he kept that note for so long. you probably didn’t even remember writing it! but still eddie looks at the heart on the bottom of the note, convincing himself that you meant something more.

he kept everything you gave him. whether it be a note you passed him during class, a pen you lent him, or a cd you recommended him. eddie was just so smitten with you. reading the note and looking through his polaroids of you two, calmed his nerves.

his mind was set on confessing to you tomorrow.

-

eddie was not so sure about confessing to you the next day.

“hi eds!” you said climbing into his van.

“hello y/n, how are you this fine morning?” eddie said with a smirk.

“pretty good actually! you’ll never guess who called this morning!”

“who?” eddie said curiously.

“chance! the one from the basketball team.”

eddie’s heart stopped beating for a second. what the hell could he want with you? eddie thought.

“he asked if i wanted to watch a movie with him tonight. and before you say anything i said no. friday’s are strictly reserved for us.”

the color returned to eddie’s face. he felt reassured. you did seem unusually happy about chance though… maybe you felt obligated to be with eddie, like he was a burden? eddie’s insecure thoughts returned.

“how do you even know him?” eddie asked.

“he’s in my chem class. we actually kinda talk sometimes. he’s not as bad as the other basketball freaks…” you said defending chance.

sure chance was cute and all, but he wasn’t eddie. no highschool boy could ever compare to eddie. when sharing about the call to him, he almost seemed… nervous. but when you said that you had declined his date offer he suddenly seemed more relaxed.

“your seriously not defending him y/n, are you? he’s literally bestfriends with jason carver!”

“i know! i know! but trust me he’s not like jason at all.”

“god y/n if you really wanna go out with him that bad just say it, and we don’t have to go to the diner tonight!”

you’ve never seen eddie this mad before. yea sure, chance hung around with a bad crowd, but it’s not like you two were besties, you would have the occasional conversation in class!

“okay now you’re just putting words into my mouth eddie! i never said that. if i wanted to go on a date with him i would’ve. but i’m not. i told him no so i could hang out with you and now you’re mad at me!?” you really liked eddie, but man was he acting like a jerk right now.

eddie sighed, and stayed silent the rest of the drive knowing that if he said anything else he would just make the situation worse. man, did he feel guilty. he let his jealousy out, and now you’re mad at him.

once the car was parked, you got out as fast as you could and slammed the door. rushing to find robin. eddie stayed in the silence of his car for a minute before he got out.

at lunch, the first thing eddie did was try to look for you, because he noticed you weren’t in your usual seat right next to him. but instead you were sat with robin buckley at a table in the corner of the cafeteria.

he did the same thing once the final bell rang, and he saw you get into the back of steve harringtons car with robin in the passenger seat.

eddie, sadly, got into his car and drove to his home. he should be driving you to the diner right now. but no! you have to be such a fucking dick, don’t you! eddie mentally cursed himself.

-

later that evening you sat on your bed listening to a record. i should be at eddie’s trailer right now watching a movie… it was odd how upset eddie had gotten. you had the right to talk to who ever you wanted. it was almost as if he was jealous.

suddenly you heard a tapping noise on your window. you picked up your head and noticed a messy head of brown hair. eddie. you opened your window to let him in.

“hi.” eddie said not making eye contact.

“hey…”

“listen i’m sorry about this morning. i was being a dick, and i had literally no reason to be.” he looked down at you. “does the princess forgive my foolish actions?” you giggled at his words.

“i guess the princess accepts your apology. i just don’t understand why you got so mad eddie.” you said, hoping he’d elaborate on his dumb emotions.

you looked into eddie’s eyes, as he looked into yours. god, you could get lost in his eyes forever.

“it doesn’t matter… it’s dumb.” eddie looked down, fidgeting with his rings. you could tell he was nervous whenever he did that.

“eddie if it got you this upset, then it’s not dumb. you can tell me anything.” you assured him.

“i love you.” he said it so quietly under his breath. you wouldn’t have been able to hear it if you two weren’t standing so close to each other.

oh my god, why did i say that? i couldnt just make up a stupid lie to tell her? now our friendship is ruined. she’s never gonna be able to look me in the eye ag- eddie’s inner monologue was interrupted when he heard you giggle. eddie’s eyes shot back to your face and saw you smiling at him.

“eddie, do you remember the summer before freshman year?” he nodded. “do you remember when we went to the fair, and i held your hand?” he nodded again. “eddie that whole entire summer i was flirting with you like crazy, but you never flirted back. not once! i assumed you didn’t like me. but i’ve loved you ever since.” confessing made you feel lighter. a secret you’ve kept from him for years was finally out in the open.

eddie looked at you with the cutest lovesick smile on his face. it was contagious.

“can i kiss you y/n?” eddie asked.

instead of answering, you leaned your face towards his. you felt a hand rest along your cheek as he pulled you closer to him. your lips met, it felt like all the miscommunication throughout the years was being made up for in this moment. eddie kissed you like his life depended on it, but eventually you both pulled apart.

“well i know it’s late but we better get to the diner before it closes.” eddie said. “but this time i’m making it an official date!” he looked at you with a smile.

“you have no idea how long i’ve wanted to hear those words eddie.”

~~

omg thank you so much for reading! my requests are open so feel free to leave one!! xoxo

[zuppizup]

Unresolved

She’s sits on the rock, ostensibly keeping watch but really, she just needs some time alone.

Which seems utterly ridiculous. She’s been alone for literally years now. Things were easier in some ways when she was by herself. She didn’t have to compromise or debate. If she wanted to do something, she did it.

She hears footsteps on the hard ground and doesn’t need to turn to know it’s Callum. Things haven’t exactly gone well between them. She probably shouldn’t have got so angry when she found him, Ez and Soren in Xadia. She was worried and scared but that tended to come out sounding angry.

Of course, he’d started yelling back at her. Rightfully so, to be fair.

She’d been impressed with Ezran’s diplomacy when he managed to end the argument. Not that anything was resolved but well, the yelling had stopped at least.

They just couldn’t seem to stop sniping at each other though and she could tell that Soren and Ezran were getting pretty sick of the tense atmosphere at this stage.

“Hey.” His voice is softer than it has been of late. “Em, do you mind…?” He gestures to the large rock she is sitting on.

She shakes her head, not quite trusting her voice. She hates fighting with him, especially after all this time. And in her defence, she had tried saying sorry to him but he’d rejected her apology and had thrown it back in her face.

And so, here they were.

This was not how she wanted to be reunited with him and she wanted so desperately to make things better… she just didn’t know how.

He sighed, eyes on the dark forest before them. “I’m, em, sorry for how I’ve been acting…”

She snorted, feeling tears welling up in her eyes. “You’re sorry?” Why was he apologising to her? He might have said some harsh things, but it was nothing compared to what she did to him. Soren had told her how much he’d changed since she left the Moon Nexus and she hated that her sweet, kind Callum had become angry and bitter because of her. Because of her lies and deceit.

He seems to read her words wrong though, looking hurt and upset for a moment before the now familiar sneer crosses his face.

“No, that’s not what I-” She takes a deep breath, closing her eyes in a vain attempt to stem the tears she can already feel on her cheeks. “I’m sorry. For… everything.” Her voice cracks and she pulls her knees into her chest as she tries to control herself. She owes him so much more than that, but the words stick in her throat, threatening to suffocate her.

Callum sighs, moving around a little to look at her better. “I know.” He sounds calmer and more like the Callum she remembers from before.

She risks a peek at him, confused by how in control he seems for the first time since they started travelling together again.

He’s watching her, his own eyes glassy but he smiles a little when they make eye contact.

“I don’t want to fight with you, Callum.” She swallows past the lump in her throat. “I wish I could just make things better. I wish we could go back to how we used to be.”

“Me too.” He takes a shaky breath, looking back to the forest again. “It can’t though, you know that, right?”

She looks away too but she doesn’t answer him. She can’t. She did all this because she couldn’t bear to lose him and she’s lost him anyway. Nodding stiffly, she hopes that’s good enough for him.

This is it. They’re over. It’s stupid that she held out hope he’d still want to be with her after everything, but she’s been stupid more than once in her life.

“But maybe…” He breathes out slowly, turning to look at her. “Maybe we can begin something new?”

She feels tears spring afresh from her eyes, but these ones are happy. Hopeful. “I’d like that.” She barely manages above a whisper but from the small smile that crosses his face, she thinks he heard her.

His hand reaches for hers but she finds herself unable to resist moving next to him, wrapping her arms around him and burying her face in the crook of his shoulder. “I missed you, Callum. I missed you so much.”

[justxrandomxlivia]

Emile A239 x fem!Reader part two

Portrait by Joshua Ezzell

Part one Masterlist

Summary: After meeting up with the rest of Team Noble, you're set out on your first mission. Things don't go as planned and you end up arguing with Emile about your behavior. Just why does he have to hold your face like this and stand so damn close you can barely breathe?

Warnings: war, mention of weapons, mention of death, angst, sarcasm, overall harmless, with some hints of early stage smut

Word count: 4503

AN: I posted the second chapter a couple of days ago already, but I was not satisfied how it turned out. So I wrote many parts new and I promise you. You will fall in love with Emile now! He is the most precious angry fluffball ever.

Chapter two: Be a good girl, and I'll take my helmet off for you

15 minutes have already passed, since we started in New Alexandria. We left the heavy rain clouds in the city, and I can finally see a few sunrays again. Two weeks I haven’t seen the sun anymore. The feeling that I’ll never see the sun anymore, grew bigger, minute by minute as I waited in my apartment for pick up.

But being now with Noble Team, makes me believe that everything will be fine. Carter explained me the situation, we are meeting rest of the Noble Team at a safe zone camp. 80 click souths from my home city. Once we arrived, we will be heading 20 click west to an old military facility for pick up of an ONI squad. With this squad we will leave fly all the way to Reach and head towards Quezon. West of New Alexandria, behind the ocean. Once we arrived, Noble Team will drop me off and I will get escorted by a UNSC special forces squad to earth.

Then I will just wait for the war to be over before I can return home? Somehow this doesn’t go well with me. I trained years of my life; I have been in different wars myself already. Against Rebels, Terrorists and others. So why am I not allowed to fight now. Its my home as well. I should fight with my brothers and sisters.

“We are landing in 2 minutes.” Says a pilot over the radio, what rips me out of my thoughts. And as we are descending, I can see how the sun slowly sets itself behind the thick clouds and mountains. I’m looking at Carter, who gives me a nod to get ready. Emile on the other side had said nothing. Not a single word, for the 15 minutest as we are in the sky. He just sat at the edge of the helicopter, scanning the area with a heavy machine gun. He seems more professional than I thought in the first place. Maybe I got him all wrong.

The helicopter eventually landed, and I followed Carter into a little tent. Four Spartans were looking directly at me as I entered. Spartans can be really scaring sometimes…

“Noble Team, this is Miss l/n. Ma’am, meet Kat, noble two.” A woman in light blue Armor nods at me. I try my best to nod with a serious face back. Trying to hide my nervosity. As Carter continues: “Jun, Jorge, Noble three and Noble five. And Lieutenant Sixx, obviously he got the callsign Noble six.” He pointed at everyone, while walking towards a simple build contact station. I looked at each of them, “It’s an honour to meet you. You can call me y/n. I don’t really like those formalities.” It sounded a little more desperate then I hoped it would, but maybe it helps me to stay calm.

Kat turned to me and gave me a light smile: “I’ve read your file Ma’am. You are more tough than you look. No need to feel intimidated by us. We don’t bite. Well, almost all of us don’t.” With that, she lifted her head and looked behind me. “You should just stay a little alert around our Grim Reaper.” She chuckled and turned her attention toward the contact station. A little confused I looked behind, seeing Emile standing at the tent entrance. Of course, he bites. I’m not even surprised; he looks like he could and probably would at one point. Quickly I turn my attention to the rest of the squad. Jorge was once a commander of the squad I served with. Against Insurrectionists, here on Reach. “Sir, it’s good to see a familiar face.” I said to him. He smiled softly, as he came a little closer to me. With his heavy hand on my shoulder he said: “Y/n, I’m glad to see you are in one piece. Your father was quite worried as he heard about the covenant. We will bring you to safety as soon as possible.” I smiled back. “Yes, thanks for that, I guess. Even though, I should fight for my home, not run away from it.” With my smile fading into a face of self-disappointment, he just let out a laugh. “I didn’t expect anything less from you. You will get a chance. But your father gives and order, and we all, just as you, are supposed to follow it.”

He's right. “But I hope I can at least kick some ass before leaving Reach.” I replied.

“Alright, attention Team.” Carter interrupts our little, small talk. And everybody pays close attention to the contact station. A hologram map shows up. He points at an ONI facility; “20 clicks west, we will meet a backup squad and secure the facility. Taking down all covenant and bring the facility back online.” He picks up a small P.a.d. from the table and hands to me. “Make sure to stay in contact at all times ma’am.” A quick nod from me as response as I fix the p.a.d. on my wrist.

Kat looks at me, “She needs some weapons, or do you want any of us to play babysitter?” She clearly won’t take the job, that’s the tone of her voice saying. Carter points with his thumbs at a weapon chest next to the station. “Take what you are most comfortable with.” He says to me. I response with another nod. As he continues: “Anyway else, I want that one of you stay full time with her. She is a highly important freight. We can’t take any chances.” He looks at each of the Noble Team members. I hope he picks Jorge. He’s the only one I know and to be honest, he’s the only next to Carter who I’d trust.

 But he had other plans. “Emile, make sure she doesn’t get a single scratch. Team, we’re leaving in 10 minutes. Get ready.” He just dismisses us and is about to leave the tent. When Emile finally says something: “What? Sir with all due respect, you gotta be kidding!” He sounds angry.

Kat comes next to Emile: “Sir, I must agree with Emile, for the first time ever. I’m sure that Six or Jorge would be the better candidate for the job.” She really argues with the commander. I’m curious if she tries to protect Emile, or me? But it seems that Carter won’t budge. “My decision is made. No discussion. I need your skillset to make sure she will arrive in Quezon alive.” He says with a stern look, then he looks at me: “Ma’am. Take the weapons of your choice, vest, night vision and get ready to move.” With his final words, he leaves. And so do the others one by one. Kat looks one time more at me, “Good luck.” She smiles at me with a concerned face and leaves. While Jorge comes past me, he pats me on the shoulder, before leaving the tent as well. Now it’s only Emile and me. This is going to be great. Really great. I let out a sigh as I look at him. Then, there it is again. That feeling. He looks at me, and I can feel how he tries to kill me with his piercing stare. I turn around, trying to ignore his death threat and walk towards the weapon chest, short after I turned away, Emile left the tent as well. I survived. For now.

Now let’s pick some toys. There are not many weapons in, but I quickly made my decision. I take a MK50 Sidekick, a great sidearm that's ideal for finishing weakened enemies off. As I trained for the Airforce, I worked mainly as sniper and medic, so I’ll chose the S7 Sniper. Light and compact. The exact model I trained with, from the beginning of my time in the UNSC Airforce.

Even though I was categorized as too small for the UNSC to join in the first place, it gave me many opportunities to take down enemies in close range, while I could move faster around them and take them down with a combat knife. So of course, I’ll be taking a M1 combat knife, as I used back in the fights. A bullet proof vest and a night vision device. Ready dressed and packed, I make my way out of the tent. As I turn the corner to meet rest of the team at the landing zone, my soul leaves at the second I get yelled at, by a certain skull visor. “What the hell? You are dum?!” Emile yells at me from behind as I get shocked to the core and jump around, I see how he stomps towards me. That’s it. I’m going to die. What have I done to deserve that. I’m just praying to God, while he stops right in front of me, looking down on me, as if I’m a little child. Then he growls: “A sniper rifle? Do I look like I wanna sit in a corner drinking tea while the others dance with the covenant scum? Go pick Jun if you’re too scared to face the enemy directly, but I’m not taking care of you then!” He stomps past me.

Hold up. That’s why he is mad? God, he is the little child. I definitely will have a hard time handling him, but I’m not going to change my weapon. It will come in handy, and I still have my sidekick gun. I shake my head as if I try to shake his anger off me. Then I make my last steps to the landing zone. Standing next to Emile, I look up at him with a serious face: “Just for your knowledge, with a sniper rifle that size, I can easily take down any enemy who will come in closer range. Also I got a MK50 sidekick. Captain Obvious. In the end it’s going to be me, who has to make sure you don’t get a scratch. And probably will end up babysitting you then. So you better be more kind. Sir.” Realizing what I just said, I can hear the others giggle. The only ones clearly not laughing is me. Why do I have to push my limits always. He’s so going to abandon me in a fight. Or even push me off a cliff, should we come across one. I want to facepalm myself. But - Hold up! He is laughing himself. What the??

I look now even more shocked towards him, he is serious laughing. He turns his head to me, “You think I need back up from a tiny dwarf like you? Not even your wildest dream.” Is he insulting me now? Or joking? I’m confused! To my luck, I can hear Carter approaching from behind, with an amused voice he pats me on the shoulder: “I told you, you two will get along just fine.”

With the team in a good mood, we split up in two groups and jump on the helicopters. Kat, Jorge and Carter are in the other helicopter, while Emile and Noble Six sit on the opposite side of Jun and me. Jun, pushes me light at the shoulder: “I give you some advice.” He says while pointing at Emile. “Make as many jokes as you want to, but don’t be surprised if he’s coming after you. You can always hide behind Carter or Six. But don’t come running at me, I don’t want to die myself.” He says while laughing a little more. I nod with a awkward terrified smile at him. Does he want to tell me that he fears Emile?

Should I take his advice serious? Either way I say dumb shit to Emile, or even worse shit, that makes him angry. I will probably make him kill me. My face drops with the realisation that my life hangs by a threat. As Emile tilts his head light to the side and looks at me: “As long as I got orders to make sure you don’t loose a leg, I won’t rip off your head as well.” He says with a cool voice. Turning away once again.

Wow, how charming. I think ironically. But yeah, actually, his voice, is really charming. I hits me like a thunderstrike. Holy no! Pull yourself together girl! We are not falling for a Spartan! No No No NO! Instantly I turn my face away from the others, trying to hide my blushing cheeks. This is seriously no time to catch feelings. Also, he is so rude and reckless. And childish. And has probably many issues. No no. We don’t do love stuff here. We are professionals. So be one professional soldier. God damn. While discussing with myself, I just pray that this flight is over soon, so I can focus on the covenant instead of my stupid thoughts.

As the helicopter is turning around the mountain, we get a call over radio: “This is Carter. We get no communication with ONI. The plan changed. Jun, you stay in the helo, get up at that hill, right heading. Find a clear vision over the facility. Emile and Six, clear the left entrance area. Y/n, according to your record, you are a medic, means you go with the two and get ready for first aid, if you find any injured. All clear?” Carter gives straight instructions. Jun looks at Emile and Six, both are nodding in response, then they turn to me and I gave a quick nod as well. Jun answers over the radio quickly: “Affirmative, Sir.” With that said, we are starting to descend. I know what will come. War. But against the covenant. I never fought against any aliens before. Slowly my guts starting to turn. Then Jun pushes me once again lightly at the shoulder, I turn to him and he just gives me a thumbs up. It’s not much, but it calms me down a little, I give him a thumbs up back.

The helicopter touches the ground, and we hop off. Jun gives me one more thumb up as the helicopter rises again. Now it’s time to focus. So far, I don’t see any civilians, soldiers and no covenant. The sun has almost set completely. Taking a deep breath, I grip my rifle tight and follow Emile and Six. They give calls each other on where to walk, that the area is clear and where to move. I just follow Emile. Close, but so that he still can move free. We are approaching the left entrance of the ONI facility, and the bad feeling inside me grows bigger. I try to get a little closer to Emile and whisper to him: “Hey, Emile. I have a bad feeling. This is smelly.”, he stops in his tracks and turns his head light. “So what? You scared because your belly is grumbling? There’s no turning back now. Shut up and keep moving.” He harshly cuts me off and continues walking again. I let out an annoyed sigh and follow him once more, this time, I keep more distance. It’s a trap! I can feel it, don’t they? When the two Spartans reached the entrance gate, I walked a little bit further away, and hide behind a huge rock. It’s like a countdown ticking inside of me. Every second it could go down. I kneel behind the rock and set up my rifle, so I can assist the two when they will get surprised. And they will get surprised.

In the exact moment Six get ready to open the gate, the gate explodes and a bunch of Covenant storming out of the building. “Get to cover tiny!” Emile yells. He didn’t even realise that I wasn’t there anymore. “No shit, Sherlock. And who are you calling tiny here.” Is what I whisper to myself, while shooting one by one of the covenants. They are obviously too many to handle, even for two Spartans. Emile doesn’t think so: “What that’s all you got? Bring it on!” He yells while throwing them around like a freaking piñata. “Who’s next! Let’s dance!” He yells and laughs even more, while jumping on three covenants, blasting them to bits. Yeah, he’s nuts - That’s for sure. Six is skilled himself. Not a single enemy can get close enough to him, that he must draw a knife. While Emile on the other hand seems to have a lot of fun using his Kukri knife instead of his shotgun. And it doesn’t take too long and not a single covenant is standing anymore.

As they are about to move into the building, Emile calls over the radio: “You made it to a hiding spot in time?” I answered without even thinking “Sir, I was in a hiding spot already. As I told you, it’s smelly.” I responded. I should have just said yes and we would had no problem. But telling Emile, that I disobeyed an order, was not the smartest idea, because he was clearly not happy about that: “What’d you mean? You just decided to take a stroll around the base or what? Who gave you green lights for running off? Don’t fucking do that ever again! Now stay where you are until we call the building clear!”

After around 10 minutes, he calls over the radio: “This is Noble four. Left entrance clear. We have many soldiers on the ground. Get in here tiny, time to work.” Is all he says. Man, now I’m mad. “He can’t even say my name. And what does he mean, - time to work – I was literally holding his god damn back free, so he can have his fun in the crowd. “Arrogant ass.” I mutter to myself as I’m approaching the building. Entering, I see many soldiers, bad injured. “Ah hell.” I whispered while checking if any are still alive. These soldiers are clearly dead.

Emile was nowhere to be seen. Six came from across the hallway to me. I just shook my head. He let out a sigh and said “Good job. Out there.” He gave me a nod of appreciation. “Thanks Lieutenant. I’m sorry for the soldiers” I sighed and asked “That was the squad we were supposed to meet?” He looked at me and pointed to a door, signing me to follow. “You are right, it was them. It’s now just us. We must get the station online and then bring you to Quezon. With or without ONI.” He explained while walking ahead. Suddenly he stopped, so that I almost bumped into him. I stood behind him, a little confused. “Sir?” I asked quietly. He turned around. “You are a good sniper. For your size, surprisingly. Your senses are excellent as well. Emile said you had a bad feeling and decided to not follow the orders and hid. That’s good. But also, bad. Next time, give clear concerns to the commander. You can’t decide by yourself what to do. Other who are supposed to protect you, will get the consequences.” As he finished, he turned away and continued walking. I felt bad, he was right, but I had to make the decision. To not put the team in danger as they would have focused on protecting me.

“Sir, it won’t happen again.” I said while walking behind him like a stray dog. He chuckled “Good. And good luck with handling Emile. He’s mad.” As he said that, I was not even surprised. I let out a sigh, “Yeah, I deserve that, I guess.” We stopped in front of a big door. Six gave me a slight nudge on the shoulder and entered the room, right away, Emile came out of it. He packed me by the arm and pulled me further along the hallway. He’s probably going to yell at me again. Mentally preparing myself for what will come, he stopped and let go of my arm as we were close to an exit door. Then he turned towards me and pushed a finger against my forehead. “Listen here doll, When I tell you what to do, you shut up and do it. You can’t just leave the spot without telling anyone! Are we clear?” He wasn’t really yelling. Just a little louder, but his finger really hurts on my forehead. I pushed his hand out of my face and took a deep breath. “Yes sir. Won’t happen again.” I said with a serious look on my face to him. He wasn’t done. “Have you an idea how much trouble I get because of that!” Now he started yelling as he came one step closer. I couldn’t even said something, he came one more step closer and continued. “Not only from Carter. If your father finds out I can’t even handle a dwarf like you, I can forget staying in Noble Team.” He came another step closer. As he leaned down, his visor was almost touching my nose. But I didn’t budge. “Tell me Emile” I looked at his skull visor. “Do I look into your eyes right now? Or do I have to look more down or up?” I caught him completely off guard. He spun back and instead of saying anything, he turned on his heels and walked towards the exit door.

“That’s it?” I asked whispering but couldn’t hold back. “Emile.” I called him, he stopped and turned around. “What?” He was so pissed. Good. My face turned into an art of hell as I bit my lower lip to not laugh out loud. Another deep breath: “My belly grumbling, huh? Just admit it, I was right, and you were wrong.” Biting my lip even harder to not laugh out loud I waited for my end. But he just stood there. Saying nothing. Looking in my direction. I messed up, but it was totally worth it. It’s too much fun to piss him off. Until he started stomping towards me. “Oh shit!” I whispered. Should I run away? Too late, he was already right in front of me again. Now pushing me by my shoulders against the wall behind me. He almost threw me at that wall. Hands on my shoulder, his visor right in front of me again and his feet left and right next to mine, he was cornering me completely against that wall.

His voice, deep and filled with flammable anger “Do you wanna die?” He asked slowly. I shook my head light. “Negative, sir.” Only a whisper was what I was able to bring out. He took a breath as if he wanted to say something. But he didn’t. He was just standing there. Looking down on me, holding my shoulders and pressing them against the wall. I looked at him confused. Should I say something? Then he let go of my shoulder, cupping my face with one hand, lifting it even closer to him. With the other hand he pointed to his visor. “I you look there; you look me in the eyes.” I lost my breath at his words. His voice was now calm and soft. He was a completely different person. Nobody said anything anymore. We just looked at each other, standing so close, I swear he could hear my heartbeat.

Suddenly, out of nowhere Jun yelled: “Hey, Emile, get up to the power transmitter and check if the wires are cut! Oh, ah, Okey. Didn’t wanted interrupted. My bad.” He yelled from across the hallway. As he saw what must have looked as we were making out, Jun just left as quickly as he came around. Emile huffed and let go of me. He headed towards the exit. “You stay put. Otherwise...” He scolded. As he walked away. I followed him, as we left the building and climbed the fire stairs to the roof. I got curious. “Otherwise, what?” I asked dumb struck. He stopped in the middle of the stairs and turned around once more. “Otherwise, I’ll bite your head off. Now shut up.” He scolded once again.

Deciding to not bother him any further. I zipped my mouth with my finger and followed him further upstairs. Reaching the transmitter, it was clear that all cables were intact. He gave a radio call to Jun, saying that the cables are fine. I stood at the transmitter and looked at him. Something is weird about him. He’s rude, childish and has immense anger issues. But I can’t shake this feeling off, that I feel like starting to fall for him. How can I fall for someone I just met an hour ago. And who I haven’t even seen the face of.

He’s noble team. They don’t have a long lifespan anyway. And I’m going to earth. So, I will probably never see him again after we parted ways. Makes me a little sad. As I continue starting at him, with every emotion written on my face, I suddenly realised he’s looking back at me. Ah no, he’s going to be mad again. I smiled at him as if tried to convince him that I’m not hiding any drugs, before turning around and looking at the lake next to the facility. He was not saying anything. When I looked back at him, he is still looking at me. I narrowed my eyebrows: “Did you spaced out Emile?” I asked him. He stomped towards me, I was about to move back, but I decided to stand my ground. Would he come that close again? Is he actually starving for physical contact. The life of a Spartan can be lonely. He stopped right in front of me. Only a few inches were in between us. He took a deep breath and asked. “Why would you want to see my eyes?” – “Huh?” with my answer it was clear that I did not expected that. Emile turned away and shook his head. “Never mind.” He said and walked to the stairs.

“Wait.” I run at him and grab him by his hand. Regretting my move, as he looked down at his hand, I let go immediately. “I- am. I just try to understand you. And it’s easier for me when I can look into your eyes.” I smiled shyly and looked away. I was expecting he’d make a joke about me, but instead, he cupped my face with both hands this time, making me to look up at him. “If you be a good little girl and do as I say. I maybe take my helmet off.” Then he let go of me, and walked downstairs laughing his ass off. He made a joke about me.

“What was that?” I asked myself and rushed after him, before I get another scolding. Wait, was he actually flirting with me? With this thought I stopped in front of the door to the building.

“y/n. Station is online. Come to the main entrance.” Carters call over the radio ripped me out of my thoughts. I must stop thinking about Emile. He is just a Spartan. Doing his job. That’s it.

[reflections-in-a-critical-eye]

I’m sorry if you already discussed this, what are your thoughts on the narrative "BTS has been/is being mistreated by the music industry" that goes around in the fandom? as much as I am a fan, and I do see some eyebrow-raising stuff + obvious examples of racism and ostracism, I feel like this idea of "Bangtan against the world/they’re been sabotaged" sounds lowkey conspiracy-ish at times. Are they really? Maybe I’m naive, I don’t know. I’m especially lost when it comes to streams and platforms such as Spotify/YT filtering the streams. I mean, the fandom is so huge now and people are playing songs on repeat for the sake of it, it does not seem like a really faire competition to me… they’re not the only ones doing this for sure as it seems to be a common thing in kpop fandoms but it seems like a taboo topic to question it… I guess I’m too old for this, lol (33 yo), i don’t get why people are so obsessed with the ranking and it seems like it keeps feeding the idea that it’s Army the savior of poor mistreated BTS against the whole mean industry (which is probably a pithole anyway). Every time I’ve tried to introduce my friends around my age to kpop, the first thing they always say is that they have a bad image on the genre because the fans are completely unhinged which does not make the music very welcoming unfortunately. I find it sad that fans don’t realize that they’re actually probably doing more harm than good.

Anon 2

My god, BMT, have you seen the whole Spotify/Lisa/ARMY fiasco on Twitter? When will these fans accept the fact that BTS aren’t victims—haven’t been for a long time—and they don’t need ARMYs protection? Then again, of course the behavior will continue when BTS encourage (James Cordon, “got ARMYs right behind us when we say so”, blah blah blah). It’s embarrassing and disgusting 💀

I've said times multiple times and nothing happened to change my mind as of today, but Army is still victimizing BTS because it's an integral part of the fandom's raison d'etre. They need to fight, they need to be the savior. And how many times have I not seen I-Army calling out the Korean fans for not streaming enough which once again, is done as a way to put themselves on this superior position in which the foreigner knows best and is the only one able to save and truly love an uplift this Korean group. But this overall mentality is found across the board. Of course it's dumb.

I saw the tweets for the past two days and honestly, it looks like desperation to me, for something that truly doesn't make any sense. Army is still there in the trences for an imaginary war that has long been won already and they are on the winning side, except they don't want to recognize it because without that war, they have no purpose. In 2022, is BTS a group dependent on streams? Really? Is that a main concern? They made it. They made a long time ago, which only makes this even more ridiculous. For this fandom, numbers will always matter most and not the quality of music, despite preaching that it's the most important aspect they're interested about and the reason why they "stan" BTS. Except they fail or won't admit that this is also about them and how they're in competition with every single person on this planet who is not BTS or BTS-approved.

They make BTS as victims when these so-called victims get to have a stage at Lollapalooza, debut one song on a stadium tour in Argentina, sing at the World Cup and without being a well established solo artist, a place at NPR Tiny Desk. Those are opportunities that came because as a group, they reached a certain level of success and fame that opens those types of doors. They are not debuting a solo song on Music Bank, but on world stages. And somehow, they still need a fandom to fight insignificant battles.

[meeko-mar]

The more I think about it, the more I might be signing on to the theory that Izuku KNOWS his trigger is Kacchan, and he just hasn't admitted/confronted it yet...At least, that we have yet seen.

Hold my non-alcoholic beverage.

Once again, let's preface with the fact that we have SEEN with our own eyes, that Kacchan has been the trigger of two specific incidents, being Monoma insulting Kacchan and Izuku becoming angry enough to manifest Black Whip.

And second, Kacchan following him into danger, and then getting impaled and nearly dying to protect him, which then triggered possibly the most RAGE we have ever seen Izuku possess, AND the manifestation of Danger Sense, AND caused him to literally throw himself at AFO/Shigaraki which put him immediately under threat of having OFA stolen. Obviously, the vestiges protected the Quirk, but the fact still stands that the rage the a Izuku felt was enough to drive him LITERALLY into Shigaraki's hands, despite how very very dangerous that was. Izuku LOST HIMSELF so badly that he could have lost the entire war right there, if The Vestiges hadn't protected him and the Quirk.

The moment when All Might and Kacchan are trying to coach him and find the connection that brought about Black Whip. The mention of an external factor, and Izuku's avoidance of saying what that factor was(Kacchan being insulted, as we ALL know and explicitly saw), and arguably his words of "It's not something I can handle right now" seem a bit suspicious.

(NOTE: I've said before, that I had slight skepticism that this line about not being able to handle it and putting a lock on something, was meant to refer to the power he unlocked, however, watching season 5 has made me remember that, after the chaotic manifestation, and talking to Lariat, and realizing that Black Whip was part of his Quirk and therefore there to HELP him, and he had successfully used it without losing control because he ACCEPTED that it was a power that was there to help, not hurt him. I am not so sure that Izuku's "lock" is referring to the power anymore, but rather, his feelings for Kacchan.

But, I have new perspective that maybe, like others were pointing out, maybe it IS referring to the actual TRIGGER. IE, his feelings for Kacchan/his anger on his behalf.

I could be wrong, of course? But stay with me because this is a part of a larger context)

So, after the War arc, after Kacchan got gravely injured on his behalf, after hospitalization, we are given one thing before Izuku suddenly leaves. But it was KACCHAN's perspective, Kacchan waking up and being desperate to get to Izuku, and getting DENIED at the door. We are shown Kacchan's desperation to make sure Izuku's ok, but so far, even well after waking up, we are NOT SHOWN Izuku's worry over Kacchan's condition. We are suddenly FLUNG into a brand new world where Izuku is a drop-out "vigilante" working on the villain activity outside of school, cleaning up villains and questing to find out how villains come to be in their own minds.

We've seen him talk to his mom before he leaves. We've seen him talk to Gran Torino.

But we haven't seen him talk to ANY of his friends yet, ESPECIALLY KACCHAN. When there has been such a fantastic amount of tension placed on that particular relationship, after not only the sacrifice Kacchan made, but also, and particularly, the FOCUS that was placed on Kacchan trying to REACH HIM and FAILING.

We've all been forced to inhale a deep breath as Kacchan charged down that hallway yelling for Deku, and we are STILL HOLDING THAT BREATH. There is a huge, poignant LOOSE END there that is hanging over our head. We are still waiting for the payoff.

So like that scene, in theory, Izuku is still avoiding how he feels so strongly about Kacchan that he can be triggered into rage over him being hurt?

Actually, no, I think this sudden change to Izuku is very much him finally acknowledging it and acting on it.

The reason we have so much unresolved tension still hanging over Kacchan and Izuku's non-reunion, the reason Hori set up this big conflict that hasn't been resolved yet, why he showed us Kacchan trying to see Deku and not an ounce of Izuku wanting to see Kacchan before he leaves,

is that Izuku is actively trying to distance himself from Kacchan.

He did say that the reason he won't be returning to UA is of course because AFO could find him at any time and he would place everyone around him in danger.

But Kacchan? I think Izuku is still very much traumatized by the fact that he witnessed Kacchan taking a would-be fatal blow for him and falling out of the sky, drenched in blood.

I think he probably realizes that if Kacchan follows him into battle again, there's a real chance it could happen again... Or worse, AFO/Shigaraki, now knowing what a touchy button that is for Izuku, could actively target Kacchan on the battlefield, kill him, and/or use him against Izuku.

And Izuku is in the literary stage where the protagonist thinks that the love they have for someone else is a weak point and a danger/liability to those he loves, and so tries to shoulder all the burden themselves an shut the other out. He doesn't want his friends involved, he doesn't want Kacchan involved.

Because he knows that his love for Kacchan is his weakness. He's finally acknowledging that when Kacchan is hurt or slighted, he tends to lose himself. He loses control of his heart, and this is not something they can afford at this point in the game. Defeating AFO is now or never. (and he just desperately doesn't want Kacchan to be hurt for him anymore.)

He is going to have to learn, however, that, like Kacchan says to him, he can't keep playing the Hero on his own. And that their love can be their greatest strength, instead of a weakness.

So he's left, probably without a conversation with Kacchan. Hori is holding out on showing us this, building onto that tension, and I feel like he has some very significant pay off coming up. We haven't been shown any such conversation because he wants us to keep holding that breath for a little longer.

And if I'm right, it's gonna be dramatic when Izuku breaks down about this to Kacchan, finally. There was also some theories that Kacchan v. Deku 3 is going to follow the progression of their relationship and have this one center around Izuku's feelings being laid bare and Kacchan "accepting his feelings" as Izuku had done for him in KvD2, I think I'm a fan of this theory.

So yeah, Izuku knows that Kacchan is his trigger and purposely left without him for that reason.

That's basically my theory. Probably not the first one to think this, but I thought I'd write about it anyway. to get it outta my head, lmao.

Alsooo, yeah this is tagged for my Bakudeku peeps, and I use the word "love" in this, but you can read that as you will, either platonic or possibly romantic, not here to say this theory calls for canon romantic feelings between BKDK because that's not really my point, but at this point denying that they love each other in SOME capacity is being blind.

Ship or don't ship, but I legitimately think this is the psychology of Izuku's decision right now.

[porcupine-girl]

Blech, reached that stage of sickness where I desperately need to shower but can’t stand up long enough to be sure it’s safe. Specifically I desperately need to wash my hair - I don’t wash it M/T/W because I actually have to be somewhere in the morning those days (I have long thick hair), I got sick Wed night, so I haven’t washed it since last Sunday.

I really need to get some dry shampoo when I’m not sick to have around for things like this. Not gonna expect my husband to buy it when even I would probably have to weigh the options though.

My fever has stayed down, which is great! I mean “better than last time” is a really low bar and I still don’t think I’ll be able to teach at all next week, but the week after that is spring break so we’ll see, maybe I’ll be recovered enough to lecture for three hours after that (thankfully there is a tall chair I can sit on if needed).

My sense of taste isn’t gone, just some of it. My husband brought me tea and I couldn’t tell what it was - I guessed Irish Breakfast but it was Earl Grey, I could not taste the earl greyness AT ALL. I tasted sugar and a vague black tea flavor and that’s it. Right now, right after brushing my teeth so the paxlovid mouth is at a minimum, I can taste the earl grey flavor just barely, and that might be helped by knowing what it is.

Edit: just looked at my posts from this summer. Apparently my temp did drop for a day then and then go back up, so we’ll see. It also reminded me to sniff my armpits and nope, can’t tell how bad I smell. Small blessings. 😅

[erimeows]

Healing

Ratchet was missing you as he finished cleaning the med bay, sleepiness threatening to take over his sky-hued optics. You were probably in your shared bed, fast asleep like you always were- and you always tried to wait up for him, but never managed to stay awake. Since he’d gotten to earth and met you, he’d gotten used to working late, whether that be helping his teammates with their injuries or doing research on Sari’s key and the organics on earth to help their cause. 

Ratchet couldn’t help but sigh as he thought about you. The two of you had been dating for a few months now, and while he had initially been reluctant to get attached to a human who he feared he’d eventually have to leave, he couldn’t help but be smitten with you. Your relationship was still in that somewhat casual, testing-the-waters stage, but he adored you, and he’d give anything to be recharging next to you instead of cleaning.

Still, he needed to clean the med bay or it would be disgusting and unavailable to use the following day. He was just glad that he was almost done with it.

Ratchet missed you, and he always felt bad for leaving you to sleep alone... Especially after the incident. 

When it had happened, he’d been in shambles, unsure of what to do with himself. It was a month after the two of you had started dating and, in the middle of an encounter with the Decepticons, Lockdown had swooped in and stolen you to take to Megatron for a bounty since you’d been helping the Autobots for a considerable amount of time.

Thankfully, Megatron had wanted you alive, and as a human, you didn’t have any parts or upgrades for Lockdown to want to steal... Ratchet hadn’t dared to say it out loud, but he was just glad that the bounty hunter hadn’t known enough about human anatomy to think about harvesting some of your organs to sell. 

That aside, it had taken almost a whole day after that battle for Ratchet and the rest of his team to find where Lockdown was hiding and take you back, barely getting you back to earth and leaving Lockdown to escape. 

You didn’t talk about it much, and for the most part, you tried to act normal. Things were okay, and you were safe, but Ratchet saw moments where you slipped up. When Lockdown or what happened that day were mentioned, you clammed up, and any time you were left by yourself, you were noticeably upset, almost like you were scared something would happen again or scared to be left alone with your thoughts. 

The red and white bot was snapped out of his own thoughts when he heard footsteps- too light to be a bot’s, but too heavy to be Sari’s- and looked over to see you standing in the doorway. You were in a large t-shirt and some sweats, (h/l) (h/c) hair messy and (e/c) eyes bleary. Ratchet couldn’t tell what it was, but something seemed off about you, so he immediately finished wiping down the last counter and tossed his cleaning rag to the side before approaching your smaller form.

“(y/n), what are you doing up this late?” The Autobot asked, placing a gentle servo on your shoulder.

“I, uh...” You stopped and looked away from him, almost as if you were embarrassed. “Had a nightmare and wanted some company. I figured you’d still be awake. When are you coming to bed?”

Ratchet could only sigh. Of course, you were embarrassed about a nightmare of all things- he’d been the same way for a long time, waking up from recharges in the middle of the night with terrible nightmares wracking his processor, only to sit up and look around to see that he was alone and safe in his empty bedroom instead of on the battlefield watching comrades die like he’d dreamt. 

He’d been embarrassed about his own trauma and feelings for a long time, too, but he knew that in the end, it was better to open up to others rather than let those things fester. So, rather than getting onto you for acting the way you were about it, he answered your previous question.

“Now, actually, unless...” Ratchet stopped. When he had nightmares, if he immediately went back to sleep, he’d go straight back into the dream. It would probably be best to keep you up for a bit and get you in a better mood before letting you go back to sleep. “Would you like to stay up for a bit before going back to sleep?”

“I’d hate to keep you up-” You started, but he quickly cut you off, able to see in your face that you didn’t want to go back to sleep at all and were only trying to avoid inconveniencing him. 

“Come on, I know how it is,” The medic spoke and moved the servo on your shoulder further down so he could hold your hand, intertwining his digits with your fingers. Slowly, he raised your hand up and pressed a gentle kiss to your knuckles.  “I’ll make you some of that, uh... What’s that hot stuff you humans drink?”

“Coffee?” 

“No, the one with the herbs.”

“Oh, you mean tea,” You smiled and gripped his servo as he reached over to turn the lights in the med bay off. “That sounds nice, actually. Thank you.”

With that, the two of you walked into the kitchen, you sitting down at the table and Ratchet getting out a pot to pour water in. It was a weird process, making tea, but you liked the stuff, and he’d seen you do it enough times to understand how it worked. 

While he’d expected for you to stay seated at the table until he finished, it was in the middle of him putting two teabags in the pot and setting it on the stove to boil that you stood up and approached him. Wordlessly, you wrapped your arms around his midsection from behind and buried your face into the cool metal plating on his back. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” He asked and fully turned around where he stood to face you wrap his arms around your body in return. You sighed into his chest. 

“I need a minute.”

“Take as long as you need,” Ratchet tried to be as reassuring as he possibly could, though comforting others wasn’t his forte nor his strong suit. He found himself feeling a bit awkward as he stroked the top of your hair and ran his digits through the tangled locks. “I’m here.”

“Are you... I mean, do you still feel the same way towards me that you did before it happened?” You asked, and Ratchet felt his spark drop.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

You nuzzled into the red and white bot’s chest as he reached back to turn the stove off in fear that the tea would boil over if he left it unattended. Voice cracking, you started to talk, words spilling out faster than your brain could comprehend.

“I just feel like when we started dating, things were so light-hearted and easy, and then Lockdown took me away and I’ve been so...” You paused to choke back a sob that had caught down your throat, hands desperately squeezing his shoulders and tears streaming down your cheeks and falling onto his chest plates. “Withdrawn? But also needy? I just haven’t been the same, and it feels like I don’t know who I am anymore! I’m used to the nightmares at this point, but now I’m having dreams about you leaving me because I’m too much to put up with and-”

“Hey, (y/n), slow down a bit, will ya? I don’t know what to say here, and y’know I’m not good at this kind of stuff, but...” Ratchet looked at your face with a gentle smile, sky-hued optics pouring into your (e/c) eyes. You blinked up at him with tears still welling up, but he reached down to wipe them away with one of his digits. “I love you more and more every day,” He admitted, almost wanting to stop himself- it had been the first time either of you had said the ‘L’ word, and maybe it wasn’t the best timing, but he needed you to know that no matter what happened, he loved you and would continue to do so. “Nothing that could happen between us or with Lockdown or whoever else will change that. I’m here as long as you want me to be, even when things are hard, because I know you’d be there for me, too.”

You nodded and further buried yourself into him, sobs now racking your entire body- now, though, instead of the anxiety that had been rolling off of you in waves moments before, you seemed to be flooded with bittersweet relief. 

So, he held you for as long as you needed, the tea cold and forgotten by both of you in the pot behind him in favor of each other’s warmth.

And, when you did collect yourself, you looked up at him with the most beautiful smile he’d ever seen and told him that you loved him, too. 

[bigfemdomenergy]

Suit and Tie

»»-————　♔　————-««

Anime: My Hero Academia

Pairing: Dabi x Reader

Word Count: 1800+ words.

Summary: You’re a hero, he’s a villain, and you’re dating in secret. You two spot each other at a villain event where you’re undercover, and things get steamy.

Warnings: Grinding, vaginal penetration, riding, choking.

Note: Dabi likes getting choked. Change my mind.

»»-————　♔　————-««

Was it a top-secret mission no one was supposed to know about? Yes. Were you meant to be taking it seriously? Absolutely. However, sometimes things don’t go as planned and sometimes, you’re hornier than you thought you were, and sometimes, just sometimes, your boyfriend could be more provoking than you could ever imagine.

You stood next to Twice and Himiko as they chatted. Villains were everywhere, mixing and mingling, but the one you were searching for, according to Himiko, had more important business. Hopes and spirits crushed? Sure, but you could work with that. If Dabi arrived, he’d only be a distraction.

“What’s taking him so long?” Himiko complained, referring to Tomura.

You took a sip from your glass of wine. “Maybe he’s applying some lip balm. We all know he needs it.”

The two snickered at your comments. Speaking of the devil, the lights dimmed, and, on the stage, he appeared. Everyone quieted and turned to Tomura when a hand slid up your lower back to your waist. You leaned into the body sidling up beside you.

“Thought you weren’t coming,” you said quietly.

Dabi glanced down at you. “...that was before I heard you were. Lonely without me?”

He looked good. Dabi adorned the appropriate clothes for an event like this—suit, tie, vest, and a coat hanging on his shoulders. You were expecting a hint of red, but it was black and gray down to his shoes. It didn’t matter. He was more dressed up than when you usually saw him, and you couldn’t help but lick your lips.

“What?” he asked, eyes on the stage though he pulled you closer to him.

You wanted to ruin him. The thought of stripping him of his so clean and well-refined look, unbuttoning his perfectly ironed shirt, watching him grow hard through his tailored pants...well, you always knew you were a horny sinner, but this was taking it to a whole new level.

You glanced over to the stage, having heard nothing, and weighed your options. On one hand, you could fuck Dabi, on the other hand, you could drag yourself through the event and write a report afterwards.

You were not an idiot. 

“So, you’re only here for me?” you asked, smirking.

Eyes on you. “Well, I thought you’d be bored.”

“Correct.” You turned into him, running a hand up his chest as you tiptoed and placed your lips to his ear. “Won’t you entertain me, darling?”

With that, you slipped out of his grip and made your way through the crowd, not once looking back, sure you had him wrapped around your finger. The event was held in an underground location underneath an abandoned building. There were several hallways branching around with dozens of rooms, and your footsteps echoed as you headed for the best one. You had scouted the area first for a different reason, and to think you’d use that effort for this.

Footsteps followed yours and when you turned the corner, you glanced over to see Dabi strolling nonchalantly after you. The two of you played this small game of chase for a few minutes until you found the room and slipped in. Nothing grand. Several chairs, couches, and tables.

You placed your glass of wine down on the table, sitting on top and waiting. Dabi came in a few seconds later, eyes hungry. He closed the door and you heard it click as he locked it. With one hand, Dabi loosened his tie as he strode over like a predator about to pounce on prey. You both knew if anyone were the predator here though, it would be you. 

“I’m wondering if you only see me to fuck,” he grumbled, arms coming up on either side of the table to cage you. His tie was loose, hanging around his neck. “I haven’t seen you in weeks. You could have told me you’d be here.”

You smiled, wrapping your arms around his neck, batting your eyelashes as you took his tie. “You know it’s hard to get away from hero duties. I also can’t help it that every time I see you, I want to fuck you. What? Do you want to kiss a little and cuddle before I leave again?”

“Can’t we do both?” He bumped his head against yours affectionately. 

“Hm.” You picked up your glass of wine and tipped the rest of it back, aware you two might knock it over. Dabi grunted and pressed his lips to yours, surprising you. His tongue came out, pushing between your lips, and wine slipped from your mouth. 

He pulled away, slyly licking his lips. “The wine’s not bad. A little sweet.”

“I know.” You wiped your chin. “I have good taste. We probably have an hour or two. Clothes off, love.”

“Yes, ma’am.” 

He removed the coat and tossed the vest, hands fumbling to unbuckle his belt as if he couldn’t do it fast enough. You pulled him onto the table, and he scooched up to get comfortable while you straddled him. “Hands.” He held them out and you tied them with his tie before putting them over his head. “They stay there.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“You’re so good for me, darling,” you praised and watched him shudder as you unbuttoned his shirt. Popping one open slowly, down to the next, ravenous. Your mouth was on him again, teeth clashing, and he grinded up against you, groaning. Breaths, small gasps and moans, and the rustle of clothing. Your hands were all over his chest and he was trying his best to keep his above his head. 

“Ma’am, please,” Dabi gasped, grinding harder against you to no avail. He was too hard for simple kissing and biting, and when your tongue flicked out against a new mark you made on his skin, Dabi hissed. “Ma’am.”

“What is it, love?” You sat back up, tracing the staples on his skin and making him tremble under your touch. Four love bites should be enough for now.

“I can’t—” he choked back a moan as you pinched his nipple. “I want you, I want you, I want you. Please, ma’am. I need to feel you.”

“But you are?” You grinded against him again, a little annoyed you couldn’t feel much with your dress. With a huff, you lifted it up, glad it was short enough for it not to go everywhere. Dabi whined at the sight of you, aware of how wet your panties were. 

“Please.” He squirmed, breathing heavily. “Please. I want to be inside you. I want to feel you around me. Please, ma’am. Please. Pleasepleasepleaseplease.”

You smirked. “Well, since you’re begging so well and you’ve been such a good boy, how can I deny you?”

“Thank you, thank you, ma’am,” he rushed breathlessly, eyes wide and blown open to see you as you slid his pants down and took his cock out. It was oozing with precum, hard and pink, and a simple touch of your hand had him gasping and writhing, head tossing and turning as gibberish spilled out of his mouth. 

“Eyes on us, my love,” you whispered as you slid your panties to the side. Dabi zeroed in on your actions, chest heaving up and down, hands in fists on top of his head. He couldn’t take it anymore. He needed to be inside you or else he was going to burn the whole place down. 

You guided his head to your slit, rubbing on it, not yet in. Dabi whimpered and whined. “Please, please, ma’am. Fuck me, please! I just want—ohh, fuck! Fuck! Shit!”

You moaned, sliding down on him, clenching as he filled you up. Dabi gasped and groaned, squirming so much he was rubbing inside you, hot and throbbing. 

“Tight. You...can I—can I touch you?” Dabi asked desperately, hands fidgeting with the knot of the tie. 

“No.” You rolled your hips and he groaned, arching his back. At this point, both his shirt and pants were crumbled, and his hair was a dishevelled mess. Mission accomplished, but you weren’t done with him yet. “Don’t you want to be a good boy for me, sweetheart?”

“Nghh, hah, yes but...but I want to—”

You lifted yourself up and slammed back down on him. Dabi moaned so loud, you were a little wary if anyone could hear him from the party. Hopefully not. 

You kept bouncing on him, chasing your own pleasure, hands on his chest. Dabi met each of your thrust with his own, hips jerking forward. The sound of flesh slapping against flesh filled the room. Dabi’s arms were shaking above his head as he kept groaning and whining, “Please, can I touch you? Can I touch you, ma’am? I want to touch you. Please? Please, ma’am. I need to touch you. Want to feel you.”

The tie around his wrists was sparking with flame and you wanted to reprimand him, but fuck, he was thrusting so far in you, you couldn’t even speak. Instead, one hand reached up and wrapped around his throat. Dabi’s eyes all but rolled into the back of his head as you squeezed lightly, making him gasp. Yet still, groans escaped his lips. 

“Close,” he wheezed. “I’m—ma’am. Cum. I’m gonna cum.”

Your movements grew more erratic, the two of you making the table groan and creak. He was hitting you in all the right spots, and you were about to cum yourself. 

“Ah, take it out,” Dabi choked, aware you two hadn’t brought a condom. You smiled and kept on going. “No, ma’am, ma’am! I’m close!”

“It’s fine,” you managed to ground out, squeezing tighter down on his throat. “Cum inside me, Dabi. I want you to fill me up. Cum for me.”

“Fuck, fuck! Cumming!” The tie around Dabi’s wrists went up in flames and his arms shot out, grabbing your waist and pulling you down against him. Hard. You gasped at the pleasure shooting up your spine, adding more pressure on Dabi’s neck. He kept gasping and spluttering, hips moving as fast as he could. Cum shot inside you, wet and hot, and you moaned, tossing your head back as you orgasmed. Dabi cursed, feeling you tighten around him, losing his mind.

Panting. The two of you thrusted slowly, riding it out, coming down from your high. Both your cum and his was dripping down your thighs, but your head was clearing enough to take in Dabi’s fucked out look. Sweat was dripping down his skin, a button on his shirt had somehow popped off, and his hair stuck to his face. He lay gasping beneath you, but his eyes were on you, roaming along your body.

“Ha.” You glared down at him, hand still around his throat but not squeezing. He loved its comforting presence.  “Looks like someone couldn’t follow orders.”

Dabi shivered. “I’m sorry, ma’am. I couldn’t—”

“No excuses.” You glanced over at the clock on the wall. “Plenty of time. Naughty boys who don’t listen get punished, right, love?”

Dabi swallowed a sob, knowing he was equally going to love and hate this. 

“Yes, ma’am.”

[ofgalaxiesandstars]

Disclaimer: The following post contains personal opinions of the OP, and OP understands these opinions are not universal.

So I’m super new to Descendants, new being I’ve literally only just watched the first and second movies earlier this week and haven’t seen/read anything else, but I do know the bulk of Carlos and Cruella’s family relationship (in that... There’s pretty much nothing family about it other than blood), and I just wanna talk about this scene cause I haven’t seen anyone talk about it

So Cruella finally notices that Carlos is holding Dude, and the fact that it took her so long in itself is of note because Carlos seems to kinda hide behind both Mal and Jay during most of the call, so it’s likely that Cruella didn’t even see Dude at first because of that

After Cruella questions Carlos about Dude, each of the VKs has a brief but distinct reaction to this

Mal, believe it or not, actually looks confused for a split second before immediately looking concerned. She looks back, first at Dude, and then up to Carlos, and while it’s not really possible to get a read on her expression at that point, it’s almost as if she’s questioning if he’d gonna be okay with the confrontation.

Evie looks... Honestly super pissed off. She too turns to look at Carlos, but her expression is almost... Expectant. It’s like she’s encouraging Carlos to step forward and shut his mother up. I haven’t read any of them yet, but I’ve heard that Evie and Carlos have a fairly close relationship in the books, e.g. Evie gave Carlos his first pillow, so I can only assume she’s gotten fed up with Cruella’s treatment of her friend.

Jay closes his eyes in that way when you were expecting something to happen, but were desperately hoping it wouldn’t happen. That “goddammit, why would you do that” sigh. Looking at him in this scene, he looks like he’s actively standing in front of Carlos almost protectively. Looking at him in this scene, he actually almost looks a little afraid.

And then of course Carlos. Carlos looks both ready to shut Cruella down, while at the same time looking terrified. Hesitant. He isn’t sure just yet if he wants to speak up to his mother, but it’s like he’s waiting for the moment Cruella gives him that last nudge to tell her off.

And she certainly doesn’t waste time doing that.

So now let’s talk about this scene. 

Carlos was already halfway to the front by the time Cruella finished her statement, but both Mal and Jay look like they’re holding him back. Moreso Jay, once Carlos pushes his way forward Mal appears more than willing to let him take the stage, though not without a warning “be careful” look. Meanwhile Jay, who appeared to have been glaring at Cruella just before Carlos stepped up, actually flinches. He looks kinda shocked, and maybe it’s just me but it’s almost like he’s giving Carlos that nervous “wtf are you doing” look. We don’t see a whole lot of Evie in this shot, but what we do see of her appears just as furious as Carlos and unfazed by his outburst.

Carlos starts just tearing into Cruella, it’s almost like once he starts he just can’t stop himself from saying what he’s probably wanted to say for years. The girls look smug as hell, though the longer it goes on they appear to slowly grow less and less smug and more “maybe we should stop him”. Jay is just... Staring at Carlos, and maybe it’s just me but he looks somewhere between fearful and sympathetic. Although, when Carlos brings up “baby” being just a stuffed toy, he looks like he does that “what are you doing” sigh again, closed eyes and everything.

By that time Carlos is actually shouting at his mother, the other VKs start looking like “okay we need to stop him now”, though Jay is the one who ends up finally reaching out to grab Carlos and pull him back.

Carlos gets pulled back, but honestly it looks like he’s still seething-- Not even looking at the video call anymore --and he even looked like he actually glared at Jay when the older boy glanced back at him. Though, watching a bit closer, Carlos actually looks a little terrified, in a “oh god what did I just do” way. It’s also noteable that it’s only after Carlos gives Jay that look that Jay cuts off the call.

Mal in this shot honestly seems to give Carlos this proud “hell yeah” grin. Though, after she notices the looks on both Jay and Evie’s faces that grin immediately drops and she looks... Apologetic? Upset, definitely, likely due to that argument that breaks out after Carlos stands up for himself.

Evie is looking at the boys with a fair amount of concern before Mal gives her the grin. Then of course she rolls her eyes at the parents’ squabbling before just looking... Completely exasperated.

Jay is being protective again. He’s not only standing slightly in front of Carlos again, he’s got an arm around him, almost like he’s reassuring the youngest VK that he’s okay-- maybe more specifically that Cruella can’t reach him in Auradon. He’s also the one who finally cuts off the video call, likely both out of a protective nature for his friends, and his own discomfort at his father instigating an argument with Cruella.

I know that Fairy Godmother had good intentions and only wanted the VKs to feel included and not homesick for the upcoming family day, but she and the people of Auradon really seem to forget that these kids did not have good parents. I don’t think it’s until after this specific scene that Fairy Godmother really understands that these kids were just as much victims of their parent’s as the people of Auradon.