stevefromupsidedown

[stevefromupsidedown]

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[stevefromupsidedown]

30 year old steve harrington from façade pt 10 WHERE ARE YOUUU I need YOUUU

[stevefromupsidedown]

FAÇADE — Pt, nine : the thunder in our hearts • steve harrington x f!reader

synopsis: is it over, now? warnings: english's not my first language, fem!reader with she/her pronouns, deaths, blood, gore and violence, references to mental health issues and low self esteem, references to sexual themes, angst, slow burn, hurt/late comfort 18+ ONLY/DNI (overall warnings for the series, read at your own risk) This material falls under @takemetothelakes-poets’ property.

PT, TEN | SERIES MASTERLIST | CHAPTER PLAYLIST

People who are burned alive don't die from the fire, not consciously at least, the brain protects them as so many nerve endings would pull the alarm bell about excruciating pain everywhere, they would fall unconscious on second and third degrees burns, then keep on burning alive until they die.

Thank the heavens Steve and her were originally unconscious when fire started spreading. He had managed to get them closer to the town centre where the four parts joined to form a bigger gate, taking its place on the town library’s side wall and asphalt; it basically was a door gate. 

This portal was the way the US army was able to enter the Upside Down, sending a small group as scouts, all under the clairvoyance of the Mind Flayer, and Henry’s tentative way to warn them of both the US army and his master’s plan, torn between his influence and wrath and the little boy inside him who was his first victim, back in 1959.

He was so split, the warning he tried to get through her didn't work as the Mind Flayer had the upper hand on both of them. She was only a means to know his location as the Mind Flayer suspected Henry would try to get his grip on some form of power to recover. 

She was the perfect tool, being physically and mentally vulnerable and most accessible to both of them. 

The first bomb broke through Hopper’s group meeting Demogorgons and Demobats, fire was their weakness, it got rid of the creatures but it also revealed more presence for the Mind Flayer. 

The order to stop the bombing and look for civilians didn’t come quickly, even though they had managed to clear the first places they had marched in, they struggled to spot any civilians at first, whether dead or alive, then Colonel Sullivan believed he could get more information on Eleven so he ordered to get the civilians out. 

Through Hop’s group, one by one they were brought on gurneys, quickly examined by military doctors to separate and officialise the deaths and the unconscious ones were sent to the military outpost first to be sent to the military hospitals. Wings of same state hospitals were privatised, militarised, non-disclosure agreements signed to every healthcare workers and non healthcare workers that would come in contact with them or their hospital wings. High level politics and the army don’t want a sequel to the Watergate scandal, especially when they messed up big time again. 

Steve and her were found later, given their separate position, the fire had stopped spreading when it started raining, their bodies found in comatose condition, they were taken through the main gate as a downpour started pouring, thankfully for them, they were out of the Upside Down for good. The army would have to deal with the Mind Flayer’s forces walking towards the few military men, unprepared and in the unknown. It was none of their concern, though. 

They managed to identify everyone, except her, as they didn’t have any intel on her from previous encounters with the Upside Down, Colonel Sullivan’s branch of army had been watching since Dr Owen took charge of Hawkins Lab, out of everyone, they didn’t know who she was and the most important one of them, El, was missing. He ordered to send Steve and her away and frustratingly ordered more men to search for El, not knowing what was waiting for them on the other side of the gate.

Death. 

The scent of antiseptic and the sharp, abrupt feeling of pain guided her towards consciousness, welcomed by a strong and vivid light above her she immediately closed her eyes back. She doesn’t understand anything of what’s happened or been happening, all she knows is that her body’s short on adrenaline and endorphins and she feels pain like she’s never felt before. 

It stings, it feels hot, sharp, burning everywhere, like the smallest needles on earth would prickle and tickle her burned skin, it’s unbearable and she wants to die. Not her entire body is burned, the third degrees burned don’t have any nerve endings to send a signal of pain but the surroundings skin gets the message pretty clearly to her brain.

Her body starts trembling, out of cold, fear and pain, she realises she’s crying when she feels the droplets wet her cheekbones and fall into her temples, it’s the harsh realisation that she’s not dead that hits all of sudden.

She finally hears and sees movements above her, it’s blurry at first, but she sees nurses trying to insert catheters in her non-burned arm, someone is scissoring away some of her clothes to reveal her wounds, they’re all trying to attend their patient, her, when she desperately wants to die. She wants to disappear, fade into nothingness, turn into smoke, begone. 

Wrath invades her and the lastest drops of adrenaline hits her body, she pushes everyone away, kicks some health workers away as she rips away the IVs, screaming in a fury to be left alone, that she wants to die. She manages to be on her feet, discards the IV stand away and attempts to take a step away but her body gives her up. Days of not eating and drinking, losing blood, defenceless on all parts, physical and psychological has left her immensely weakened. She collapses on the cool, hard linoleum.

He feels something tightening around his left biceps, the pressure and pain it creates lulls him awake, it’s all blurry, and his mouth's as dry as the Sahara, he wasn’t blinded by the aggressive light on the ceiling.

He feels the pressure loosening and his head automatically tilts to the side. Through barely opened eyes he sees a nurse, or a doctor, he doesn't really know. 

He closes his eyes back shortly after and succumbs again to unconsciousness. For a few more days, he drifts away a lot between wakefulness and sleepiness.

The day he fully wakes, the first thing he asks is where he is, and if she’s okay.

They offer little information at first, because they’re not sure how to deal with it and the NDAs they signed, but they provide some info for Steve.

His body is burned up to 20%, which is reassuring and shouldn't be too incapacitating for living a somewhat normal life. They had to make skin grafts out of his back, but overall, he’s in better condition than most of his friends.

Three out of them didn't make it, but they refused to name who, and Steve doubted they knew all their identities, or if the military had shared it to them because he had to tell them all of his information, on his bedside table, his documents read John Doe#4, soon replaced by Steve Harrington, 21 years old. 

The thought of his birthday passing made him dizzy, because he realised he was in a coma for weeks, possibly more than a month, the dates were all a bit fuzzy and it saddened him greatly. 

Although, he wondered, who were the other John Does? What about the Jane Does? Who was still alive and who was dead? If the doctors considered he was in better condition than the others, how were the others? Was he the only one awake? 

He asked to see the others, they kept telling him they weren’t sure, that he had to be able to walk furthermore so he took that as a bet and worked as much as he could with the physiotherapist, soon enough, he was given the green light to see his friends. 

John Doe#1 was Hopper, he was awake too, but much later than Steve had, he had to be put under an artificial coma to put his body to rest, he had been burned up to 55%, they used skin grafts from the back of his tights. He laid in bed, bandages around his arms and torso, he looked tired as hell, but the tiniest smile appeared on his face when he saw Steve step in his room with a cane. 

Steve doesn’t know if it’s a smile he sees on the corner of the man’s lips, he sits on the chair beside him, they chat a little bit, but they don’t know how much they can say with civilians nearby.

They barely talked, avoiding the subject of who had made it alive and who didn't. 

He was so tired he didn't stay that long, but he went to see him over the following days.

Jane Doe#1 was Nancy, unfortunately she wasn’t awake, she was still in an artificial coma, she had taken most of the impact of the fire, burned up to 60%, the doctors were very wary of her condition. Steve could only hope she would get better in time.

John Doe#2 was Jonathan, Steve didn’t even enter his room. Their eyes met through the glass of the door, but he walked away, following the nurse to John Doe#3’s room. Dustin’s. 

The teenager had his limping leg in an external fixation device to keep his leg stabilised. His head stuck to the window he didn’t see Steve approaching, he only looked once he heard the door opening.

Dustin barely smiled, just a thin line on his lips, he rearranged his head as the young adult walked to him, caneless this time. The young teenager was once so full of life, talkative, he rarely didn’t speak. 

They barely chatted, Dustin’s mood was morose, he was the only one of his best friends who had made it alive, and he didn't see the point in being alive. It all felt so pointless.

There was nothing that could be said, really, it was too early for reassuring words and optimism. Dustin kept wondering what they could have done differently to have a better outcome. 

He was permanently marked by the Upside Down and the losses he experienced. 

If he had known the day of the first murder, that it would all lead to this, he would have made other choices, but overthinking the situation isn’t going to change anything and it’s not going to bring back his best friends. So he hangs on to Steve, and Hopper. 

Jane Doe#2 was her. Plunged into a deep artificial coma. He tells the nurse her name, it rolls off his tongue so delicately, so longingly, so naturally.. he tells her her age, that he’s her boyfriend. Pulling a chair closer he sits close to her, his hand intertwining their fingers together, his eyes watching closely the movement of her breathing through artificial breathing with a respirator. 

The nurse tells him she had to be put in an artificial coma given the severity of her injuries, burned up to 30%, and she was in septic shock because of the piece of wood impaled in her abdomen. She was so close to being in cardiac and hepatic failure. She also mentioned how she awoke and screamed she wanted to die and ripped the IVs out before she fainted, how none of them understood that reaction.

He didn’t say much, but he understood. She let him know they planned on waking her up the following day as the exams they had done were good, she wasn’t totally off the hook, but they were optimistic, more optimistic for her than Nancy. The nurse left him in the room, it became incredibly silent.

Unable to say anything, he hated to see her like this. The more he tried to open his mouth to say something, the more his eyes couldn’t bear the sighthing. He was caught in a monstrous spiral of guilt.

His fingers against hers’ feel clammy, he doesn’t realise right away the tears that cascade down his cheeks, falling down the pants the hospital gave him.

His head hung low in shame, he angrily rubbed the tears away and left the room without a single word.

He had felt hope before, he was covered in shame now. Unable to look at his reflection in the mirror, sending the nurse away when she tells him they’ve put her off the respirator and that she’s breathing on her own. Not awake, yet, but her body’s still fighting for her. She’s still fighting.

And he waits, unsure, ashamed, for the nurses to tell him he can go see her. He’s never been more unsure of his future, of them, of himself. He’s got such a bad feeling, he doesn’t know what to think, what to hope for.

It’s silent, so silent, then suddenly her ears are invaded by a sharp beeping, it’s kind of a blur but she hears footsteps, the sound stopping then silence again.

She doesn’t dare open her eyes, her lids feel so heavy, she can’t lift them up and she fades back into silence.

Her mouth feels so dry, furred. Her eyebrows frown, she realises she’s incredibly uncomfortable, her body aches, she opens her eyes and meets the ceiling. 

Her head tilts to the side and she sees it’s dark outside, the window is as large as the wall and she can see the neighbouring woods, hiding the moon. Her room must be pretty high up because she can see an owl is perched on a thick log, stretching one arm then the other. It gets comfortable while keeping an eye on the area. Just sitting and watching, unless its eyes start to close and the owl falls asleep, she assumes.

It’s a beautiful scene to witness. 

Her eyes meet the ceiling again, it’s just another proof that she isn’t dead. She closes her eyes and completely abandons herself to the feeling, her right arm moves to her stomach, under the hospital gown she feels the thickness of a dressing. Sobs escape her lips and she tightens her closed lids, forcing the tears to run along her cheeks to fall in her temple and in her hair.

She cries herself to exhaustion, emotional exhaustion. She doesn’t fall asleep, even if she gets to witness a peaceful scene, she gets to relive her final days in the Upside Down. She really hoped she would die, she would finally be at peace with Eddie. Turns out she’s not done agonising on this earth. 

She doesn’t ring anyone to let them know she’s awake, they’ll know soon enough and it’s suddenly gonna be less calm and more hectic around here. She sees the night fade away into the dawn, the trees are the curtains to the light of day, the owl retreats to sleep. 

She hears the door open, footsteps approaching, and with a sigh the cacophony begins. 

He knows she’s awake but hasn’t come to see her yet, uncertainty planted a seed in his brain that he can’t seem to outgrow. He knows she’s going to reject him, but he hopes not. So he delays. 

One afternoon, the nurse comes to him, she’s awake and cognitively responsive, but refuses to talk to anyone. Maybe she will respond to him.

He’s basically their last chance at getting her to communicate and open up. 

He finds her lying on her side, it’s past five in the afternoon, she’s looking at the window, a birds’ nest is perched on a log, she watches the two birds building the nest. Seeing her like this from afar, felt like watching a lioness in a small lions run. 

A lioness that’s accepted her doomed fate in a terribly small enclosure and no stimuli.

He opens the door, she doesn't move, he grabs a chair and walks towards her side of the bed, when he sits down their eyes meet and a shy smile appears on his lips.

She doesn’t smile back, only frowns, “Steve.” 

Her voice is so hoarse, like she hasn't spoken in a long time, she clears her throat, and frowns more as her throat aches.

Her name falls from his lips like warmed butter, it rolls off his tongue like sweet honey and it makes him want to close his eyes and reminisce the months they spent as a couple before it all went sideways. 

Instead he simply smiles more, his hand naturally falls close to her waist on the duvet. 

He gets her to talk a little bit, for him it’s clear, she’s still in the Upside Down, haunted by everything that happened. He could understand her reaction, he’s been trying to live with the trauma of it for four years before, but he didn’t experience it like her. 

That’s what really shatters him, because she experienced way too much, way too fast, and more than most of them. 

She didn’t open up much to him first, she had intertwined their fingers together, hands tucked under her cheek. Her eyes closed, she seemed to be able to rest that way, so he let her. She slept better that day.

With more visits she began revealing more, how she could barely sleep at night because as soon as she closed her eyes she was back in the Upside Down, she could hear the demobats gnawing on Eddie as she tried her hardest to rush to him. She could see the pool of blood growing larger by the minute. 

Heat leaving his body as minutes went by. 

Then the shuffling sound of the Mind Flyer getting closer and her most vivid nightmare begins. Henry, Vecna, the voices, the unsettling darkness and loneliness. All of this repeats every night and she’s trapped in the most gruesome place.

Steve suggests collective counselling but she refuses, so he promises her to get better together to leave this place together. A promise he makes, and she nods.

It starts there.

Physiotherapy, all their IVs are out, Dustin’s leg in an articulated splint so he could readapt to walking again, Hop’s on his feet too, and Nancy doesn’t wake up.

Jonathan is ignored by Steve and her, he carries the weight of Nancy’s fate on his shoulders, forever wondering if he had done things differently, maybe she would be with them, getting better, instead of being in a coma, still undergoing intensive care for all the burn wounds she’s got. 

They don’t receive any news about Hawkins or the Upside Down because they refused to get them, if only Hop knew anything about El, he would feel a tad bit better about being alive, so he swore to himself he would get better to search for her. 

Over the months, it had been over a year actually, they stayed in that militarised hospital only to ensure their safety, and they needed clearance from the doctors and the army. Especially from the army. 

They demanded that each of them consulted a counsellor to clear them apt for living in society, given what they went through. Hop was sour about it because he hadn’t had something like this when he came back from Vietnam. 

They all were more or less trustworthy with the counsellor, Steve was the most sincere, and she was the most calculating to leave this place as soon as possible.

To be done with this hell, she had to leave, and quickly.

She has no idea what she plans on doing, but the more time she spends with them, the more she can't bear it.

She knows they're not responsible for the Upside Down and Vecna and the Mind Flayer, but she needs someone to blame, and lying to the counsellor seems to be working, so she continues, hoping she’s going to escape this hellhole. She’s in denial, buried very deep in there until it’s going to come bite her in the ass, later.

One September afternoon, the news broke through. They’ve been cleared by the army to leave, finally, she was the first one to cross the counsellor’s doors to retrieve the things she had gathered since she’s been brought to the hospital, some clothes—donated by people to the hospital. Toiletries. She scoffed as she realised her entire life could be held in a plastic bag from the nearest 7-Eleven. 

Steve shouted her name through the corridors, calling her to stop and allow him a few words but she only walked faster to the nearest staircase, furtively meeting his eyes when she stopped by the door. 

The look on her face was enough to slow him down slightly but he kept going after her, they practically ran off the staircase until he caught up on her when her hand was on the door handle, his body blocked the way for her and she turned to him. 

“Just.. wait, please— I… I need to catch my breath.” 

“Wait for what? I don’t want to hear it, what I want is to leave far away from this godforsaken place and never return!” 

His hand intuitively went to his hair, his fingers brushing through his locks without a second thought as he observed her, “I understand, I don’t plan to stay here, but I thought we could—”

“What? That we could run far far away together as if nothing happened? As if I don’t wish to be left off dead in that godforsaken place with my best friend?! As if we could forget it all?!” 

“No. It’s n—”

“Listen to me carefully because I will not say this again. I’m leaving, alone. I do not wish to see any of your faces ever again, do you hear me? I never want to hear from you, see you, ever again!,” she paused, pushing him to the side to grab the door handle. 

She opens the door, takes a step but suddenly stops, turning to face him. 

He doesn’t remember ever seeing her eyes so full of anger, how so much wrath could hold into her body without it crumbling down in autodestruction like a ticking time bomb, he doesn’t know. Perhaps the bomb already set off, or is about to, but he doesn't want to be around when she does.

“If memory serves me right, you were the first to leave, and you were right. You were so right to abandon me on my doorstep.”

Another pause, and he dreads the last words she will spat at him like venom.

“You’re dead to me.” 

They swore they could hear their hearts breaking like porcelain. It was full circle. She had watched him leave all those months ago after a night together, she had physically felt her heart breaking, crumbling down. She had felt her stomach twitching, ready to empty itself. She had wanted nothing more than to disappear in shame. 

Now it was Steve’s turn. Nausea crept up on him, his legs turning to jelly, his heartbeat grew so loud in his ribcage, he could feel his flesh thumping along the rhythm, he felt like he was dying. He wanted nothing more than to disappear in shame. Disappear into nothingness as he watches her leaving.

They feel like their lives are over, their hearts deflated like their dreams and hopes. Even though they loved each other so profoundly, she had to free herself of so much pain and anger.

‘Free herself’...strange choice of words. She doesn't know what she's going to do, where she’s gonna go, she doesn't feel free either way.

All she knows is that she needs to get as far away as possible from Steve Harrington and Hawkins. As far away as possible from the source of all the pain and shame, and self hatred she feels. Away from where her heart truly feels at home, but doesn't let her feel that sense of belonging, buried under layers of anxiety and depression, from the trauma of the Upside Down to her maladaptive ways of coping.

The day she left him on the front entrance of the militarised hospital, is the day she celebrated her twenty-second birthday, after two years in hell from the day she fell in love with Steve Harrington.

So.

Is it over, now?          

[stevefromupsidedown]

FAÇADE — Pt, nine : the thunder in our hearts • steve harrington x f!reader

synopsis: is it over, now? warnings: english's not my first language, fem!reader with she/her pronouns, deaths, blood, gore and violence, references to mental health issues and low self esteem, references to sexual themes, angst, slow burn, hurt/late comfort 18+ ONLY/DNI (overall warnings for the series, read at your own risk) This material falls under @takemetothelakes-poets’ property.

PT, TEN | SERIES MASTERLIST | CHAPTER PLAYLIST

People who are burned alive don't die from the fire, not consciously at least, the brain protects them as so many nerve endings would pull the alarm bell about excruciating pain everywhere, they would fall unconscious on second and third degrees burns, then keep on burning alive until they die.

Thank the heavens Steve and her were originally unconscious when fire started spreading. He had managed to get them closer to the town centre where the four parts joined to form a bigger gate, taking its place on the town library’s side wall and asphalt; it basically was a door gate. 

This portal was the way the US army was able to enter the Upside Down, sending a small group as scouts, all under the clairvoyance of the Mind Flayer, and Henry’s tentative way to warn them of both the US army and his master’s plan, torn between his influence and wrath and the little boy inside him who was his first victim, back in 1959.

He was so split, the warning he tried to get through her didn't work as the Mind Flayer had the upper hand on both of them. She was only a means to know his location as the Mind Flayer suspected Henry would try to get his grip on some form of power to recover. 

She was the perfect tool, being physically and mentally vulnerable and most accessible to both of them. 

The first bomb broke through Hopper’s group meeting Demogorgons and Demobats, fire was their weakness, it got rid of the creatures but it also revealed more presence for the Mind Flayer. 

The order to stop the bombing and look for civilians didn’t come quickly, even though they had managed to clear the first places they had marched in, they struggled to spot any civilians at first, whether dead or alive, then Colonel Sullivan believed he could get more information on Eleven so he ordered to get the civilians out. 

Through Hop’s group, one by one they were brought on gurneys, quickly examined by military doctors to separate and officialise the deaths and the unconscious ones were sent to the military outpost first to be sent to the military hospitals. Wings of same state hospitals were privatised, militarised, non-disclosure agreements signed to every healthcare workers and non healthcare workers that would come in contact with them or their hospital wings. High level politics and the army don’t want a sequel to the Watergate scandal, especially when they messed up big time again. 

Steve and her were found later, given their separate position, the fire had stopped spreading when it started raining, their bodies found in comatose condition, they were taken through the main gate as a downpour started pouring, thankfully for them, they were out of the Upside Down for good. The army would have to deal with the Mind Flayer’s forces walking towards the few military men, unprepared and in the unknown. It was none of their concern, though. 

They managed to identify everyone, except her, as they didn’t have any intel on her from previous encounters with the Upside Down, Colonel Sullivan’s branch of army had been watching since Dr Owen took charge of Hawkins Lab, out of everyone, they didn’t know who she was and the most important one of them, El, was missing. He ordered to send Steve and her away and frustratingly ordered more men to search for El, not knowing what was waiting for them on the other side of the gate.

Death. 

The scent of antiseptic and the sharp, abrupt feeling of pain guided her towards consciousness, welcomed by a strong and vivid light above her she immediately closed her eyes back. She doesn’t understand anything of what’s happened or been happening, all she knows is that her body’s short on adrenaline and endorphins and she feels pain like she’s never felt before. 

It stings, it feels hot, sharp, burning everywhere, like the smallest needles on earth would prickle and tickle her burned skin, it’s unbearable and she wants to die. Not her entire body is burned, the third degrees burned don’t have any nerve endings to send a signal of pain but the surroundings skin gets the message pretty clearly to her brain.

Her body starts trembling, out of cold, fear and pain, she realises she’s crying when she feels the droplets wet her cheekbones and fall into her temples, it’s the harsh realisation that she’s not dead that hits all of sudden.

She finally hears and sees movements above her, it’s blurry at first, but she sees nurses trying to insert catheters in her non-burned arm, someone is scissoring away some of her clothes to reveal her wounds, they’re all trying to attend their patient, her, when she desperately wants to die. She wants to disappear, fade into nothingness, turn into smoke, begone. 

Wrath invades her and the lastest drops of adrenaline hits her body, she pushes everyone away, kicks some health workers away as she rips away the IVs, screaming in a fury to be left alone, that she wants to die. She manages to be on her feet, discards the IV stand away and attempts to take a step away but her body gives her up. Days of not eating and drinking, losing blood, defenceless on all parts, physical and psychological has left her immensely weakened. She collapses on the cool, hard linoleum.

He feels something tightening around his left biceps, the pressure and pain it creates lulls him awake, it’s all blurry, and his mouth's as dry as the Sahara, he wasn’t blinded by the aggressive light on the ceiling.

He feels the pressure loosening and his head automatically tilts to the side. Through barely opened eyes he sees a nurse, or a doctor, he doesn't really know. 

He closes his eyes back shortly after and succumbs again to unconsciousness. For a few more days, he drifts away a lot between wakefulness and sleepiness.

The day he fully wakes, the first thing he asks is where he is, and if she’s okay.

They offer little information at first, because they’re not sure how to deal with it and the NDAs they signed, but they provide some info for Steve.

His body is burned up to 20%, which is reassuring and shouldn't be too incapacitating for living a somewhat normal life. They had to make skin grafts out of his back, but overall, he’s in better condition than most of his friends.

Three out of them didn't make it, but they refused to name who, and Steve doubted they knew all their identities, or if the military had shared it to them because he had to tell them all of his information, on his bedside table, his documents read John Doe#4, soon replaced by Steve Harrington, 21 years old. 

The thought of his birthday passing made him dizzy, because he realised he was in a coma for weeks, possibly more than a month, the dates were all a bit fuzzy and it saddened him greatly. 

Although, he wondered, who were the other John Does? What about the Jane Does? Who was still alive and who was dead? If the doctors considered he was in better condition than the others, how were the others? Was he the only one awake? 

He asked to see the others, they kept telling him they weren’t sure, that he had to be able to walk furthermore so he took that as a bet and worked as much as he could with the physiotherapist, soon enough, he was given the green light to see his friends. 

John Doe#1 was Hopper, he was awake too, but much later than Steve had, he had to be put under an artificial coma to put his body to rest, he had been burned up to 55%, they used skin grafts from the back of his tights. He laid in bed, bandages around his arms and torso, he looked tired as hell, but the tiniest smile appeared on his face when he saw Steve step in his room with a cane. 

Steve doesn’t know if it’s a smile he sees on the corner of the man’s lips, he sits on the chair beside him, they chat a little bit, but they don’t know how much they can say with civilians nearby.

They barely talked, avoiding the subject of who had made it alive and who didn't. 

He was so tired he didn't stay that long, but he went to see him over the following days.

Jane Doe#1 was Nancy, unfortunately she wasn’t awake, she was still in an artificial coma, she had taken most of the impact of the fire, burned up to 60%, the doctors were very wary of her condition. Steve could only hope she would get better in time.

John Doe#2 was Jonathan, Steve didn’t even enter his room. Their eyes met through the glass of the door, but he walked away, following the nurse to John Doe#3’s room. Dustin’s. 

The teenager had his limping leg in an external fixation device to keep his leg stabilised. His head stuck to the window he didn’t see Steve approaching, he only looked once he heard the door opening.

Dustin barely smiled, just a thin line on his lips, he rearranged his head as the young adult walked to him, caneless this time. The young teenager was once so full of life, talkative, he rarely didn’t speak. 

They barely chatted, Dustin’s mood was morose, he was the only one of his best friends who had made it alive, and he didn't see the point in being alive. It all felt so pointless.

There was nothing that could be said, really, it was too early for reassuring words and optimism. Dustin kept wondering what they could have done differently to have a better outcome. 

He was permanently marked by the Upside Down and the losses he experienced. 

If he had known the day of the first murder, that it would all lead to this, he would have made other choices, but overthinking the situation isn’t going to change anything and it’s not going to bring back his best friends. So he hangs on to Steve, and Hopper. 

Jane Doe#2 was her. Plunged into a deep artificial coma. He tells the nurse her name, it rolls off his tongue so delicately, so longingly, so naturally.. he tells her her age, that he’s her boyfriend. Pulling a chair closer he sits close to her, his hand intertwining their fingers together, his eyes watching closely the movement of her breathing through artificial breathing with a respirator. 

The nurse tells him she had to be put in an artificial coma given the severity of her injuries, burned up to 30%, and she was in septic shock because of the piece of wood impaled in her abdomen. She was so close to being in cardiac and hepatic failure. She also mentioned how she awoke and screamed she wanted to die and ripped the IVs out before she fainted, how none of them understood that reaction.

He didn’t say much, but he understood. She let him know they planned on waking her up the following day as the exams they had done were good, she wasn’t totally off the hook, but they were optimistic, more optimistic for her than Nancy. The nurse left him in the room, it became incredibly silent.

Unable to say anything, he hated to see her like this. The more he tried to open his mouth to say something, the more his eyes couldn’t bear the sighthing. He was caught in a monstrous spiral of guilt.

His fingers against hers’ feel clammy, he doesn’t realise right away the tears that cascade down his cheeks, falling down the pants the hospital gave him.

His head hung low in shame, he angrily rubbed the tears away and left the room without a single word.

He had felt hope before, he was covered in shame now. Unable to look at his reflection in the mirror, sending the nurse away when she tells him they’ve put her off the respirator and that she’s breathing on her own. Not awake, yet, but her body’s still fighting for her. She’s still fighting.

And he waits, unsure, ashamed, for the nurses to tell him he can go see her. He’s never been more unsure of his future, of them, of himself. He’s got such a bad feeling, he doesn’t know what to think, what to hope for.

It’s silent, so silent, then suddenly her ears are invaded by a sharp beeping, it’s kind of a blur but she hears footsteps, the sound stopping then silence again.

She doesn’t dare open her eyes, her lids feel so heavy, she can’t lift them up and she fades back into silence.

Her mouth feels so dry, furred. Her eyebrows frown, she realises she’s incredibly uncomfortable, her body aches, she opens her eyes and meets the ceiling. 

Her head tilts to the side and she sees it’s dark outside, the window is as large as the wall and she can see the neighbouring woods, hiding the moon. Her room must be pretty high up because she can see an owl is perched on a thick log, stretching one arm then the other. It gets comfortable while keeping an eye on the area. Just sitting and watching, unless its eyes start to close and the owl falls asleep, she assumes.

It’s a beautiful scene to witness. 

Her eyes meet the ceiling again, it’s just another proof that she isn’t dead. She closes her eyes and completely abandons herself to the feeling, her right arm moves to her stomach, under the hospital gown she feels the thickness of a dressing. Sobs escape her lips and she tightens her closed lids, forcing the tears to run along her cheeks to fall in her temple and in her hair.

She cries herself to exhaustion, emotional exhaustion. She doesn’t fall asleep, even if she gets to witness a peaceful scene, she gets to relive her final days in the Upside Down. She really hoped she would die, she would finally be at peace with Eddie. Turns out she’s not done agonising on this earth. 

She doesn’t ring anyone to let them know she’s awake, they’ll know soon enough and it’s suddenly gonna be less calm and more hectic around here. She sees the night fade away into the dawn, the trees are the curtains to the light of day, the owl retreats to sleep. 

She hears the door open, footsteps approaching, and with a sigh the cacophony begins. 

He knows she’s awake but hasn’t come to see her yet, uncertainty planted a seed in his brain that he can’t seem to outgrow. He knows she’s going to reject him, but he hopes not. So he delays. 

One afternoon, the nurse comes to him, she’s awake and cognitively responsive, but refuses to talk to anyone. Maybe she will respond to him.

He’s basically their last chance at getting her to communicate and open up. 

He finds her lying on her side, it’s past five in the afternoon, she’s looking at the window, a birds’ nest is perched on a log, she watches the two birds building the nest. Seeing her like this from afar, felt like watching a lioness in a small lions run. 

A lioness that’s accepted her doomed fate in a terribly small enclosure and no stimuli.

He opens the door, she doesn't move, he grabs a chair and walks towards her side of the bed, when he sits down their eyes meet and a shy smile appears on his lips.

She doesn’t smile back, only frowns, “Steve.” 

Her voice is so hoarse, like she hasn't spoken in a long time, she clears her throat, and frowns more as her throat aches.

Her name falls from his lips like warmed butter, it rolls off his tongue like sweet honey and it makes him want to close his eyes and reminisce the months they spent as a couple before it all went sideways. 

Instead he simply smiles more, his hand naturally falls close to her waist on the duvet. 

He gets her to talk a little bit, for him it’s clear, she’s still in the Upside Down, haunted by everything that happened. He could understand her reaction, he’s been trying to live with the trauma of it for four years before, but he didn’t experience it like her. 

That’s what really shatters him, because she experienced way too much, way too fast, and more than most of them. 

She didn’t open up much to him first, she had intertwined their fingers together, hands tucked under her cheek. Her eyes closed, she seemed to be able to rest that way, so he let her. She slept better that day.

With more visits she began revealing more, how she could barely sleep at night because as soon as she closed her eyes she was back in the Upside Down, she could hear the demobats gnawing on Eddie as she tried her hardest to rush to him. She could see the pool of blood growing larger by the minute. 

Heat leaving his body as minutes went by. 

Then the shuffling sound of the Mind Flyer getting closer and her most vivid nightmare begins. Henry, Vecna, the voices, the unsettling darkness and loneliness. All of this repeats every night and she’s trapped in the most gruesome place.

Steve suggests collective counselling but she refuses, so he promises her to get better together to leave this place together. A promise he makes, and she nods.

It starts there.

Physiotherapy, all their IVs are out, Dustin’s leg in an articulated splint so he could readapt to walking again, Hop’s on his feet too, and Nancy doesn’t wake up.

Jonathan is ignored by Steve and her, he carries the weight of Nancy’s fate on his shoulders, forever wondering if he had done things differently, maybe she would be with them, getting better, instead of being in a coma, still undergoing intensive care for all the burn wounds she’s got. 

They don’t receive any news about Hawkins or the Upside Down because they refused to get them, if only Hop knew anything about El, he would feel a tad bit better about being alive, so he swore to himself he would get better to search for her. 

Over the months, it had been over a year actually, they stayed in that militarised hospital only to ensure their safety, and they needed clearance from the doctors and the army. Especially from the army. 

They demanded that each of them consulted a counsellor to clear them apt for living in society, given what they went through. Hop was sour about it because he hadn’t had something like this when he came back from Vietnam. 

They all were more or less trustworthy with the counsellor, Steve was the most sincere, and she was the most calculating to leave this place as soon as possible.

To be done with this hell, she had to leave, and quickly.

She has no idea what she plans on doing, but the more time she spends with them, the more she can't bear it.

She knows they're not responsible for the Upside Down and Vecna and the Mind Flayer, but she needs someone to blame, and lying to the counsellor seems to be working, so she continues, hoping she’s going to escape this hellhole. She’s in denial, buried very deep in there until it’s going to come bite her in the ass, later.

One September afternoon, the news broke through. They’ve been cleared by the army to leave, finally, she was the first one to cross the counsellor’s doors to retrieve the things she had gathered since she’s been brought to the hospital, some clothes—donated by people to the hospital. Toiletries. She scoffed as she realised her entire life could be held in a plastic bag from the nearest 7-Eleven. 

Steve shouted her name through the corridors, calling her to stop and allow him a few words but she only walked faster to the nearest staircase, furtively meeting his eyes when she stopped by the door. 

The look on her face was enough to slow him down slightly but he kept going after her, they practically ran off the staircase until he caught up on her when her hand was on the door handle, his body blocked the way for her and she turned to him. 

“Just.. wait, please— I… I need to catch my breath.” 

“Wait for what? I don’t want to hear it, what I want is to leave far away from this godforsaken place and never return!” 

His hand intuitively went to his hair, his fingers brushing through his locks without a second thought as he observed her, “I understand, I don’t plan to stay here, but I thought we could—”

“What? That we could run far far away together as if nothing happened? As if I don’t wish to be left off dead in that godforsaken place with my best friend?! As if we could forget it all?!” 

“No. It’s n—”

“Listen to me carefully because I will not say this again. I’m leaving, alone. I do not wish to see any of your faces ever again, do you hear me? I never want to hear from you, see you, ever again!,” she paused, pushing him to the side to grab the door handle. 

She opens the door, takes a step but suddenly stops, turning to face him. 

He doesn’t remember ever seeing her eyes so full of anger, how so much wrath could hold into her body without it crumbling down in autodestruction like a ticking time bomb, he doesn’t know. Perhaps the bomb already set off, or is about to, but he doesn't want to be around when she does.

“If memory serves me right, you were the first to leave, and you were right. You were so right to abandon me on my doorstep.”

Another pause, and he dreads the last words she will spat at him like venom.

“You’re dead to me.” 

They swore they could hear their hearts breaking like porcelain. It was full circle. She had watched him leave all those months ago after a night together, she had physically felt her heart breaking, crumbling down. She had felt her stomach twitching, ready to empty itself. She had wanted nothing more than to disappear in shame. 

Now it was Steve’s turn. Nausea crept up on him, his legs turning to jelly, his heartbeat grew so loud in his ribcage, he could feel his flesh thumping along the rhythm, he felt like he was dying. He wanted nothing more than to disappear in shame. Disappear into nothingness as he watches her leaving.

They feel like their lives are over, their hearts deflated like their dreams and hopes. Even though they loved each other so profoundly, she had to free herself of so much pain and anger.

‘Free herself’...strange choice of words. She doesn't know what she's going to do, where she’s gonna go, she doesn't feel free either way.

All she knows is that she needs to get as far away as possible from Steve Harrington and Hawkins. As far away as possible from the source of all the pain and shame, and self hatred she feels. Away from where her heart truly feels at home, but doesn't let her feel that sense of belonging, buried under layers of anxiety and depression, from the trauma of the Upside Down to her maladaptive ways of coping.

The day she left him on the front entrance of the militarised hospital, is the day she celebrated her twenty-second birthday, after two years in hell from the day she fell in love with Steve Harrington.

So.

Is it over, now?          

[stevefromupsidedown]

THE THENEEEEE AND HARRINGTON'S GOT HER YES HE DOES

I don't remember when I changed my theme so I don't remember what change you're referring to BUT Harrington's got us!!!! Of course he does !!!

[stevefromupsidedown]

FAÇADE — Pt, eight : the battle of Hawkins • steve harrington x f!reader

synopsis: Steve will do anything to be alongside her, even in death. warnings: english's not my first language, fem!reader with she/her pronouns, deaths, blood, gore and violence, references to mental health issues and low self esteem, references to sexual themes, angst, slow burn, hurt/late comfort 18+ ONLY/DNI (overall warnings for the series, read at your own risk) This material falls under @takemetothelakes-poets’ property.

PT, NINE | SERIES MASTERLIST | CHAPTER PLAYLIST

The Upside Down was strangely quiet, there was not a particular direction set for them, finding a good enough place to hide and rest was their only goal for now. 

The group of hunters didn’t follow them, they probably thought they were maniacs for going into the gates, which… you know, perspectives. 

Not a sound was shared within the group, they had all gained back consciousness to Will’s voice waking them, throbbing headaches, nausea, more bruises and scratches, only the common goal to find someplace safe enough to rest. 

They walked through the woods for a bit, without knowing how much time had passed or what time or day it was, lost in darkness with only the red lightning shooting through the dark sky, and lost in time as Hawkins was lost in 83’ and with no sunlight nor moonlight to guide them. 

Marching along demolished houses, Hopper’s guess was to keep going until they got close enough to Hawkins’ centre; the closer the buildings were to the edge of the forest, the safer they were. 

“I know someplace, not far from here, Bradley’s Big Guy, down Center Street, there’s food and bottled water, it’s safe,” Will paused, waiting for an answer as everyone had stopped and turned to look at him, confused at the piece of information. 

“If it’s not destroyed, I could—”

“No,” Hopper interrupted, frowning, stoic and quite uncomfortable that a teenager would provide for them, he was the adult, he had to be the guardian.. didn’t he? “No. No one goes out anywhere alone, and how do you know that, kid?”

Will repositioned his hand around Dustin’s waist to get a firmer grip, finding himself quite embarrassed, “It’s.. it’s how I survived the first time around..” he added in a low voice, watching Hopper’s face turn into shame.. The realisation felt like a slap on the face, those kids have been surviving for years, and as of lately, without him, those kids have been going through this for four years now, they weren’t helpless nor incapable. They grew up on this, with this.

“Right.. It’s a good idea Will. We’ll go later, we have enough food for today, we need to find somewhere to rest first.” 

They kept on walking the length of the street, until they found a house, they had a direct access to the forest as it was on the edge, and Bradley’s Big Guy was about one block away, the library and police station were about three blocks away, so they were pretty close to the centre without catching anyone or anything’s attention. 

The house was a perfectly fine place to crash given the situation, they ate in silence, and used baby wipes to try and clean themselves a little bit, they emptied the packs of baby wipes given their number, and silently said their farewell to having proper hygiene. 

They decided on who takes watch first, and quickly everyone walked upstairs except Steve and Nancy who both covered the front and back doors. 

Steve had absolutely no desire nor the capability to fall asleep after the events of the previous days.

The Upside Down was uncharacteristically quiet, Steve had taken a barstool to take breaks standing up, watching through the windows, hidden by the curtain, there were no creatures, except Demobats he had seen fly after some time but it was very calm otherwise, which felt just worse. 

Moving a bit in the kitchen’s windows he saw the familiar shadowy form of the Mind Flayer’s head, far from there, it looked right in their direction but it was so stoic. 

Steve had goosebumps just observing it doing nothing but knowing he was watched, made him feel terrible. The powerlessness that came with that fact was like the weight of the sky on his shoulders. 

In need of a break he made his way to Nancy and discovered her in the living room, sitting on the sofa’s headrest, she turned her head when she heard him move, he sat down on the stairs’ first steps, sighing lightly. 

“Did you see anything?”

He shook his head, his fingers playing with the hem of his long sleeve shirt, “No, Demobats some time ago, and the Mind Flayer’s creepy head, but no, it’s.. It’s strangely quiet, don’t you think?” 

“It’s weird, yeah, we’re accustomed to more violence and attacks from the Upside Down, which only makes me wonder, how terrible is it gonna be when it comes?” 

He agreed, his head shaking, humming a little bit, giving thoughts to what she said, she was right, she had vocalised his worries, but Steve was quieter than usual, more.. kept together, which didn’t look like him to Nancy, and she couldn’t be more wrong. 

He absolutely wasn’t kept together, his train of thoughts had naturally derived to her and Eddie and he couldn’t stop worrying about them, “Do you think we’ll find them?” 

Now she could see through his worry, it’s almost like she didn’t recognise that side of him, he had changed so much, in the best way and she had failed to see that, but she stopped her thoughts from diving in dangerous territories and turned her body to face him. 

Steve’s lover’s name fell from her lips and his body had a visceral feeling, a longing so deep from his soul like he was lost without her, and he was, but Nancy continued, “She survived for a few days on her own without any knowledge of the Upside Down. I’m sure they’ll be okay, I’m only hoping we’ll find them quickly and soon.” 

His eyebrows furrowed, his frame turning more to her, “Do yo—,” he started but was cut off by screams echoing in the darkness, coming from one block away maximum, she turned around and Steve rushed to her side to try and catch a glance. 

The buildings and houses covered the entirety of it and they couldn’t see anything, the screams kept on going until Nancy gasped louder than she had intended to let out and Steve wanted to ask what until he saw. 

The Mind Flayer had gotten drastically closer to them, the swarm of Demobats left and the cries and screams quieted down, under their very frightened eyes and paralysed bodies by fear they watched as the Mind Flayer arrived closer and closer, with one singular, strident scream, the shadowy creature moved its two arms on the front and it being so gargantuan it moved at incredible speed to join the opposite side of town, overlooking the Upside Down once again. 

Steve and Nancy looked at each other, dumbstruck, unsure if they hallucinated what they just witnessed. 

They rushed to wake up everyone upstairs to explain what just happened only to find Will sitting on the floor, his head in his hands, the rest of the group around him. 

“What’s happening?,” 

“The Mind Flayer.. Those screams.. Please tell me I wasn’t hallucinating,” Will spoke directly to Nancy, his eyes red and wet, 

“You guys heard those too?” 

“‘T was pretty hard to miss. Will woke us up, saying that the Mind Flayer was coming, that he was hunting, he was.. he talked so fast, we couldn’t understand anything else,” Hopper calmly said, his eyes attentive to Will. 

Nancy explained them what they had witnessed, meanwhile Steve was deep in his thoughts, he had a feeling he knew who were attacked, he wanted to be wrong of course, but he couldn’t ignore his instinct, the voice behind the screams was so similar to him, “We have to go see if we can help whoever’s out there,” his voice broke through, everyone turned to him, either shocked or confused.

“We could get killed, are you insane?!” Jonathan was the first one to answer, he was equally as confused as everyone else but he grew tired of the situation, it seemed to be a never-ending situation where they continuously got hurt, followed, nearly killed.

Steve felt uneasy as soon as he heard him, and.. he was quite angry too, “We could get killed at any moment by being here, if it were you, wouldn’t you want to be given help if you were still alive? If it were Will? Nancy? We wouldn’t be talking about it, we would already be doing it, Jonathan,” Steve paused, he hadn’t felt so much anger towards Jonathan in years, and it seemed he was completely lashing out his anger.. And his truth. 

He hadn’t said anything to both Jonathan and Nancy when she had gone to him to be their own couple while they hadn’t officially put an end to their relationship, he felt cheated on but said nothing, and even having moved on from them, he hated it all. He hated still having to deal with this with them because Jonathan or Nancy would decide if something would have meaning or be accepted without a single thought back, while Steve has been considered the stupid and irresponsible one everywhere he stepped, he was immensely aware of that and he had enough. 

He took a step closer to Jonathan, who stood next to Nancy, 

“Your mother would be screaming both of your names without a care in the world that it would pinpoint all the creatures to us and we would be prey served on a silver platter, but you’re right, let’s not go help someone in need even if we’re in deep shit ourselves, let’s be so selfish we might stay here and rot and wait for either creatures to come find and kill us all. After all, you’ve always been one to disregard one’s feelings and trust your most selfish instinct isn’t that correct? You two are made for each other,” Steve finished, his words spitting venom that shocked everyone, but his head turned to Nancy, his glance never leaving hers’ with the most serious and warning look imprinted in his pupils. 

He left the room, leaving the room confused as to why would he lash out like that, and mostly, how it didn’t look like him at all, except Nancy, she felt like she was a deer caught by headlights, and she knew very well what he was referring to, Jonathan didn’t quite understand what it meant, he played it off as everyone was tired and irritable.

Being in such a large group and living a nightmarish situation, it was bound to create tension between tired, irritable and hurt people, but out of everyone, he didn’t expect Steve to be one of those as he always thought of him as.. small-minded and, well, idiotic. Jonathan’s opinion hadn’t changed from high-school which made him as narrow-minded as Steve believed him to be. 

They heard the front door closing shut and it sort of awaken everyone as they realised Steve had left, with a strangeness in their eyes, Hopper and Joyce left the floor and were quick on their feet to follow him, the kids copied the adults, the couple was left in the room, looking at each other, dumbfounded. 

Reluctantly, they followed the rest of the group until there was no one left. 

Steve was trying to pinpoint the exact location, upon the road he was only met with fractured asphalt and vines, the store was what he found first, he was about to step inside when he heard Hopper’s stopping him, asking him to wait for them, “We leave no one behind, got it?” 

He nodded, only half heartedly, Steve knew that he wouldn’t be much of a priority to anyone, and there was no point sugarcoating it, it was a fact and he was aware of it. His closest and best friend Robin was dead so he had no one close enough for it, except Eddie and her, if he managed to find them, and he had an intuition telling him he wasn’t far from them. That gave him enough of a motivation and will to act on it. 

Dustin was in between Mike and Will as they seemed to be his designated human crutches, but they didn’t mind; the three of them were somewhat content to have each other, Steve waited for them, and stepped after, not bothering to wait for Nancy and Joanthan from afar. 

They scavenged whatever they could find, whether it was food —Hopper didn’t trust canned food from the Upside Down, he wouldn’t be able to explain why, but he didn’t so they settled for packaged food in see through plastic— and absolutely anything that could be useful to make weapons or first aid kits. 

Leaving his aisle, small flashlight in hand —Hopper had given them when they had left his cabin, Steve had completely forgotten he had it as he had escaped death a million times before and using a flashlight didn’t seem smart— Steve had gone to the back of the aisle to search again until he found droplets of dried, marooned blood on the ground. 

His curiosity piqued, he followed it, it lead to the back, the workers’ only area, the clear glass doors intact and dirtied with numerous things including dried blood, it lead to a corridor with the back entrance and another room, no doors, it seemed to be used as a storage space and break room. 

He entered the latter as he followed the trail of blood, piles of clothes and cloths to make what seemed like a makeshift mattress, also bloodied, but it was fresher, it looked a bit sticky, coagulated, and didn’t look like the trail, or at least there were two different trails of blood. 

He sighed, he retraced his steps and decided on following down the corridor and exited through the back door, as he did so, Dustin had realised he had gone off and terribly wanted to follow him, he asked Mike to provide him with broomsticks and rubber, he fabricated crutches quickly and was able to follow Steve through the corridor, Mike and Will on his heels. 

They walked for only a few feet when they saw two people on the ground, one lying on his back, the other on the side, unfortunately, they could see who it was, Eddie’s hair was recognisable from that distance, they’ve all stopped in their tracks. 

Steve’s heart stopped, his legs were glued on the asphalt. His heartbeat suddenly grew louder in his ears, time had stopped. The world around him was crumbling down upon him and he was left powerless. 

No. No. No, no no, no, no, no. It can’t be..

Please, for the love of God, No. 

Dustin’s voice broke him out from his paralysis, the poor teenager was next to Eddie, and for a second, it’s like they were reliving the same scene, days prior.

Dustin was crying out, hands tightly gripped to Eddie’s leather jacket, his cheeks and his eyes drowning in his tears, he was very vocal, just uncontrollable sob after another. 

He approached, cautiously as his knees were weakening, step after step it hit him more and more. 

Arriving at Dustin's level, his eyes first laid on Eddie, there was absolutely no doubt that he was dead, the amount of blood he had around him was.. deeply concerning. Pale lips, skin, the rigidness in his limbs, the emptiness in his eyes.. The pool of blood around him and on him..  it didn’t lie. 

His eyes fell upon her hands tightly intertwined in his, and from this moment it felt like an out of body experience. He crouched down next to Dustin, brought a trembling hand towards Eddie’s jaw, around where his jugular should be, an unsettling chill ran down his body when his fingertips touched coldness and rigid skin, he didn’t say anything, he only closed his eyes, his hand briefly touching his back to let him know he was there, and left Dustin to crouch next to her. 

Same trembling hand touched around her neck and he was shaken by a violent wave of hope, he could sense a fragile pulse, her skin was warmer and not as stiff, he lied her on her back, he was struck by the amount of blood she had on herself, some of it had to be Eddie’s, but he could see the difference between theirs, and immediately Steve tried looking for a wound, looking around her face, her neck, then his hands proceeded to lower his inspection, her cleavage then her arms, one side of her abdomen then the other and —Fuck! 

His eyes and brows widened in shock, fingertips soaked in blood, again, he didn’t know much, but he knew not to remove what was impaled in her lower abdomen. He completely fell on his knees, his eyes did double takes to her wound and her unresponsive face, he saw the faint rhythm of her stomach moving up and down, an immediate reaction of lo.. something struck him and his hands grabbed her cheeks, moving her face so she was facing him. 

His finger pads inspected her hair line as he felt scabs and he sensed many, small cuts, he could feel the inflamed skin under the bruises, her name fell from his lips like a never ending spell, conjuring her to open her eyes and talk to him. He longed to see the colour of her eyes and the sound of her voice, to see a tiny smile appear around the corner of her lips, it would appease his mind, pacify his every anxious thoughts. 

To Hopper approaching it sounded like a solemn prayer, he couldn’t quite see who was with Dustin and Steve until he was closer and he stopped in his tracks, he knew the Munson kid from afar as the sheriff he had had encounters with him, he had never been so strongly opinionated as the rest of town since he knew Eddie’s background, always let him go with a warning as he was himself not so.. uninfluenced.

As for her.. he did know her family, but not that well, he remembers seeing her here and there in town, walking home from high-school, ignoring the cars full of her classmates making fun of her as they drove, he remembers that; he also remembers not doing anything about it. Watching it happen. 

Joyce approached Hopper, who got closer to Mike and Will, the four of them felt powerless, and completely out of it as they saw Dustin’s never ending sobs and Steve’s tentative of waking her up, even if most of them didn’t really know who she was. 

Steve was panicking upon the facts that a. They were in the Upside Down, b. Eddie was dead, c. he felt the most gut wrenching guilt to have been with her, having had incredible moments with her as a couple when he knew that trying to find love would lead to this situation, he felt responsible for it, and he hated himself for it, she shouldn’t have gotten involved, she didn’t deserve all the pain, injuries it inflicted her. She didn’t deserve any of this and trying to get her to wake up, brought all of his guilt, shame, allowed it to weigh his chest more.

If she would die, he would be responsible, it would be his fault, and he would die to make up for it.

Hopper silently suggested that they bring her with them to a nearby house as they were too exposed, so he detached their fingers intertwined together and carried Eddie towards the woods, and tried his best to pay him the respect and rest he deserves, even in death. Steve insisted on carrying her even though his leg hurt from the additional weight he carried, it felt like he carried the remorse he felt, like he deserved it.

Mike had gone to Dustin to help him up, he gently walked him back to the group and they followed Steve to the house he was walking to. Will was fast to open the door and let everyone in, even if he wasn’t really sure what the plan was, but did anyone really know? 

Jonathan and Nancy had joined the group later and had discovered the scene, Steve’s arms circling under her knees and shoulders. Even if Jonathan had seen them holding hands as they arrived in Hawkins a few days prior, he could not stop thinking about how odd it was seeing them together. 

Nancy felt even more remorse over the entire situation, and over the fact that Jonathan had insinuated to abandon her when she was still alive and had a chance of surviving, even a small one, she felt like the worst friend ever. Jonathan recognised the mood change in her features and tried to hold her hand but she refused him, and with a glance he couldn’t recognise, she left ahead of him, catching up on the group, leaving him bereft.

Everyone followed Steve and Hopper as he walked straight for the living room, and lied her down to the closest couch, he didn’t really know what to do next, he wasn’t as skilled as her or Hopper, but he had watched her reanimate Eddie and tend to their wounds. 

Hopper saw the panic settled in in now knowing what to do and the what ifs, so he put a hand on his shoulder to get his attention, “There’s not much we can do, apart from cleaning the wound and until she wakes, her best shot is getting out of this place, kid.” 

He silently agreed, nodded, then proceeded to do as advised with the best they had while Hopper instructed the others to find rooms to rest in as he and Joyce would take the first watch. 

Everyone scattered away, Hopper settled on the stairs, his eyes on both the front door and the living room, silently watching Steve clean the wound in silence. They had managed to find antiseptic soap, it was the best he could do as he got rid of all the dried blood around the wound to discover the skin around to be quite stiff and the tiniest bit warmer. It wasn’t good and he hoped he was wrong by assuming it was getting infected. 

Every now and then he would steal a glance toward her face to search for any signs that she was waking up or uncomfortable, in pain. He understood how she was still alive, she was losing blood in such a slow and steady rhythm she still had chances to survive.. for now. 

He observed her stomach rising and falling as she breathed, kneeled on the ground next to her, Hopper recognised that devotion, he sincerely hoped they would find a way quickly enough to get them both, as far as he knew, they deserved to get out and get their lives back far away from Hawkins, in them he saw younger Joyce and himself, back in high-school, flirting in the corridors, before he left for Vietnam.

Steve lowered his head, he hadn’t expected to be crying, the tears falling freely and soundlessly, the fear of losing her setting so deeply in his bones like never before, he couldn’t resist it, nor stop it.

His hands held on hers’ tightly, intertwined their fingers. 

He brought the back of her hand to his lips, chaste pecks on her skin, closed eyes, tears getting caught on her knuckles. “You can’t leave me, please, please, wake up. I don’t know what I’m gonna do if you don’t.” 

Her name fell from his lips like a plea, like a prayer. His whispers were so low he was barely able to listen to himself. He kept pleading silently until he had no tears left to cry, under Hopper’s very discreet eyes. 

He keeped one of her hands as he used his backpacks like a pillow, their intertwined hand close to him as he fell asleep out of complete exhaustion, into pure darkness. 

A detail none has seen yet due to the important lack of light and the general sense of panic and survival, is that through her shut tight eyelids, one should be able to see her eyes flutter endlessly under the lids, the same way Max had when Vecna was infiltrating her mind. 

She opened her eyes and she was surrounded by complete darkness, alone, so soundless it felt deeply unsettling. She looked around, it was just darkness beyond sight, not a sound, only some light where she stood and it seemed to follow her, she didn’t understand. 

Expecting pain as she walked but she didn’t feel any, so she looked down at her body, to her surprise, she looked as if she hadn’t gone through literal Hell. Not even a hint of blood, or inflamed and tugging skin around the bruises and wounds, she didn’t have the small piece of wood impaled in her abdomen, her clothes were intact, clean.

Her long sleeve shirt was in one piece, as if she didn’t have a thousand cuts all over her body from the running, falling and trying to survive to monsters. It didn’t match real life, so she wondered, quietly but in confusion, 

“Am I dead? Is this.. Is this what death looks like?” 

Thinking of death, “Eddie? Are you there?” 

She was answered with silence, only her own voice and its echo fading through the darkness. 

“I don’t understand. I’m not supposed to be stuck here, am I? What’s this?,” She thought out loud, and as she realised that she may be stuck here with no way out for eternity, she felt her heartbeat moving higher against her thorax, her hands turned into fists.

The panic in her body turned a dial up as she heard footsteps coming towards her, and turning around, she was met with eyes the same colour as hers’. 

Goosebumps travelled along her body as her eyes and brows widened in shock, she was stuck in her movements, paralysed like. 

The body moving to her had gotten closer, facing her completely, she looked at her own reflection, same height, same hair texture and colour, body type, clothes, except, her look alike had the appearance of someone who tried to survive the Upside Down for a couple of days.

Her hair was unravelled, some strands stuck in dirt and clumps of blood, her skin and clothes underwent the struggles of her misadventure, cuts through her legs, torso, arms and face. The small piece of wood or whatever it was, impaled in the low side of her abdomen, she couldn’t see them, but she knew where the bruises were and how tensed and pained her skin around those wounds were. This was—is— her. 

She stood in front of her reflection, but it wasn’t motionless, she had walked, she was blinking, looking at herself, a smirk pulling on her lips.

Minutes passed as she needed to compose herself, she wanted to flee so badly but she knew she couldn’t even though she didn’t understand what was happening. 

In one desperate move she looked down at her hands, the bottom of her jeans, it was then that she saw her misadventure in the Upside Down on herself, the cuts, on the skin, through the clothes, the aches in her body from all the running, the bruises, the pain came back like she was struck by lightning and when she looked up, her alter ego had disappeared, she was alone. 

Her muscles suddenly ached, she felt everything just like when she was kneeled next to Eddie.. Her body is screaming so loudly that everything just hurts and it’s insufferable. 

She was in complete solitude, tiniest bit of light around her whenever she moved, with nothing but a disturbing silence as a companion, and the longest corridor filled with darkness.

Steve was shaken awake by a strong pair of arms, accompanied by Hopper’s voice to summon him awake, he didn’t understand anything at first, his mind so groggy he felt like he was drunk, then, what Hopper told him jolted him awake, “She’s awake, kid.” 

He immediately sat up and turned to her, inspecting her in anticipation. She remained lying down on the couch he had put her in, blinking away her confusion, he was eager, desperate, to hear from her, he squeezed the hand intertwined with hers’, it got her attention and she turned her head to him, a frown appearing on her brows. 

Submerged by two existing identities —hers’ and the Mind Flayer— she struggled to recognise the place and the people surrounding her, and Steve seemed to understand it as the confusion didn’t part from her face, looking at the three faces in front of her, Hopper, Joyce and Steve’s. 

The two adults didn’t know her enough to know that it was unusual, maybe she had fallen on her head multiple times and she was concussed, or the multiple injuries plus the emotional struggle of it all could lead to some kind of amnesia but Steve knew better, or, suspected better, he chose to put it aside and not bring it up now. 

She asked where she was, what was happening, she didn’t seem to remember anything it’s only when Steve recalled the weeks past events’ she seemed to remember some, then it clicked for Joyce, this kind of amnesia, the hesitancy, the stress in remembering past and present events, she knows it well because she’s seen it in Will back at the lab, when the Mind Flayer launched an attack, using him as a spy. 

The similarities were so strong, it felt like déjà-vu. 

From the deepest corners in her mind that the Mind Flayer has infiltrated she had access to everything the creature wanted her to see and know, instructing her with one task, but she didn’t know what it was. 

It felt like going into a room without knowing why she came there. 

Sat side by side on the sofa, Steve couldn’t stop keeping his eyes on her. He knew something was off, it didn’t feel like she was there, like she was distracted, evasive, it didn’t feel like her. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Joyce taking Hopper by the elbow to pull him aside, whispering things, he glanced towards them and he knew instantly they were talking about her. 

Hopper looked away as soon as he saw Steve catching him, frowning. 

He was about to stand up and join them when she sighed loudly, one glance back towards her and he saw her hands entangled deep in her scalp in frustration, almost pulling at the root, her back completely resting against the sofa, her eyes set on the ceiling covered in vines. 

Steve’s voice pulled her out of the spinning wheels turning in her brain, as she let go of the tangles in her hair, his hand met in the middle and caught hers, intertwining their fingers together, his eyes widened the moment he touched her skin and realised she was cold.

He brought himself closer and took both her hands in his, his thumbs ran around her wrists, “Do you feel cold ?”

Her brows frowned furthermore, there was some kind of latence in her answer as she didn’t really know if she felt cold or not, “No, I— I feel..,” she paused, her throat was sore from all the screaming and shouting she had done. 

Trying to clear her throat, she continued, her voice weakened and a bit hoarse, ”I don’t feel cold or hot, I feel so.. eerie. Like I’m not even here. Like I’m.. dying on the inside.”  

Steve closed his eyes for a few seconds as he tried to process what she was saying, his suspicious were rising alarmingly high, but when he opened his eyes he saw she had her turned her head towards the windows, following her gaze, he saw the Mind Flayer stood at the complete opposite side of town, far away, but he kept looking back and forth between her and noticed that its’ head had moved towards them. 

Goosebumps and chills rose along his body, his gaze focused solely on her, one final glance to the creature when he saw its’ head moving back to the position it had, overlooking the city, then one glance at her, she had such a passive expression in her eyes that he couldn’t recognise. 

Almost in sync, as she closed her eyes the most intense, piercing guttural shriek echoed in town, eyes revulsed behind her eyelids, Steve began panicking, shaking her arms, strong grip on her shoulders, her body was stoic, and he had flashbacks of Max and Nancy going through the same episode. 

Talking loudly than he thought, he shouted her name, getting even closer, practically straddling her as her head fell back, and with two firm hands he held her cheeks and tried to get her to wake, with no success. 

With the monstrous shriek and Steve practically shouting her name, it had woken up everyone sleeping and brought Hopper and Joyce as soon as they noticed Steve moving on the couch. Everyone’s attention filled the room with so much noise it nourished the stress and panic deep beneath him, soonly the excruciating noise in the room was quieted down by more guttural shrieks coming from outside. 

The movement of panic grew stronger and finally, someone thought aloud that their best choice was to leave now or all their chances of surviving would be close to none —which was already the case. 

That made Steve’s muscles tense, he finished letting her head fall gently on the cushion, he turned around, his eyes darkened and his face looked so tense that no one knew what to expect.

Nancy hadn’t expected Jonathan to propose such a thing, her head turned to him, shock evident on her face. 

Steve wasn’t so surprised, “Again with the leaving people behind? People that aren’t close enough to you, that is. Please go, be the first to be eaten, pulled apart, whatever they do with you, I don’t give a fuck.” 

“No, no one’s going anywhere, you listen to me? No one’s leaving anyone behind,” Hopper’s voice tried to be stern but everyone’s patience was running low, it allowed more recklessness too. 

“So what, we’re supposed to stay here and wait until she wakes up when we know that we are going to be dead staying here, I’m supposed to wait for her when I know that the more we wait, the more we are targets!”

“Jonathan, she deserves the same chances as us to survive, we’re not leaving her behind, this is insane.”

“Nancy, this is life or death, the choice is pretty simple, we’ve already lost so much time, we can’t allow ourselves to lose more.”

“I know this is life or death, should I remind you we’ve all been through this for years, I know that you’re scared, I am too, but punishing her when she could survive too is just not okay! She got involved merely a week ago when she was pulled in by a Demobat. She survived on her own here without knowing anything and she found us when we got stuck too. She could have left then but she stayed and she fought Vecna with us, almost dying countless times, she’s helped Max and she fucking brough back Eddie the first time around, she’s not getting anywhere without us! I owe it to her to not leave her behind like I did for Barb!” 

She could only listen to what was happening around her, it gave her a bitter sensation in the back of her throat, but experiencing such.. vulnerability and inaccessibility in her own body and not having full control, it was insanely uncomfortable and maddening.

Forcibly stoic, unable to move, she couldn’t do anything but listening to everything that happened, in the blink of an eye, she found herself to be plunged in complete darkness, then, after a few seconds, she heard footsteps, the lights above her started flickering and she realised she wasn't in complete darkness anymore. 

She found herself to be in some corridor, evidence of a previous fight on the bloodied walls and the cracked tiles. She turned her body to the sounds coming from a man walking towards her, his pace confident, arms behind his back, dirty blond hair and entirely dressed as someone that came out of an asylum or some lab. She didn't know who it was, but she had a strong suspicion about his identity.

She was too shocked and frightened to form a sentence, the man resembled nothing like the descriptions she’s had from her friends. 

The light above kept flickering which allowed their surroundings to move to a darker but lengthier space, darker tiles on the walls and on the ground, with turned off lights on a spherical shape on a corner, but she focused on him, straightening her body and planting her feet in the ground. 

It indicated to him she knew how he was, she was on the defensive, which didn't matter that much as he was already infiltrating her mind. 

“If you don't wake up, you and your friends will die,” his voice wasn't at all like she expected, it was soft, it didn't hold any roughness or threats, it warned her though.

Frowning, she didn't understand the situation, she struggled to form words, so he continued, “The clock is ticking.” 

His head moved slightly, he looked at her up and down, his chin down to analyse her posture and a weakness point, then chin up, he tightened his arms behind his back, focusing on the task at hand, his only chance.

She noticed and followed his gaze, body still planted on the ground, hands curled in fists, being studied so closely confused her at first, for someone who had thought of every possible outcome, who had thought of his plan to invade Hawkins, he seemed rather clueless. Making up his plan as it went on. 

“I understand your suspicion, but I could help you.” 

One of her eyebrows raised in surprise, but she kept her mouth shut, having not a clue what she was doing but still resisting, however she could.

He started moving towards her, only to pace in circles around her, slowly, he stopped behind her, an arm’s length from her, he paused for quite some time, which almost made her turn around, “I do not understand.”

His voice has gotten harsher, his patience has worn down, “You think you can resist me, or him?” 

Confusion struck her, what the hell did he mean by him? What was this? Who was he referring to as him?

He completed his circle and arrived by her eye level, their eyes connected, she could read determination on him, the wheels spinning behind those blue eyes, “He won't be as merciful, your only way out is with me.” 

She kept her eyes fixed on him, she could read so much on him now that she had struck a nerve being silent and resisting, which allowed her to make a wild guess, “You're on your own.” 

He tried to not let his surprise show but the frown that appeared on his face could not be missed, “Only people that are left mending for themselves can be so desperate and reckless. He abandoned you, and you’re on your own, Henry,” she paused, watching his face go through so many emotions. 

It clicked then, the Mind Flayer was he, she continued, taking a step closer, “He’s given up on you, and you're left mending for yourself. If you wanted to kill me you already would have done so. So what's your purpose in this?” 

He tilted his head, the frown he wore indicated to her that she was correct, and he wasn't just impatient now, but mad as hell to have been figured out.

“I spared you–”

“No, you can't kill me, you’ve resorted to gaslighting and tormenting. Why?” 

The façade slowly started melting off as he grew angrier, the white outfit swapped for his disfigured rotting body, his voice distorted, their surroundings changed to a field of floating parts of a destroyed house, red mist swallowing the ground.

Moving forward, new parts of his body were revealed, newly burned off parts, gaping holes in his chest, how he was still alive was profoundly shocking to her, “You're hiding,” only a whisper that escaped her lips as she studied their surroundings, “..and hurting.. you're..—” 

He tilted his head, and she switched her attention on his face closer to her, his eyes were the deepest shade of blue, like the deepest regions of an ocean, where the light can barely escape, and darkness only reigns.

“You're dying, and you're left mending for yourself,” she paused, she was more thinking out loud, stretching out her thinking, she had no idea where all this courage came from to reveal his truth, where all that clairvoyance came from, “So, you're stalling.” 

Out in the open, he couldn't fathom how she had understood, “You're left so weak you can't even kill me. Why would you stall if he’s abandoned you?” 

He wasn't as defenceless as she thought him to be, with a grunt she saw his eyes close, and unexpectedly complete darkness surrounded her, she couldn't see anything, as if she were blind. 

She felt deeply uneasy the more she stayed in complete darkness, wishing she had shut her mouth. If he was going to kill her, she hoped it would be quick.

The tension kept rising within the group and Hopper ended the argument by agreeing to split up, even though it killed him because he hated that idea.

Given the alarming number of roaming creatures outside and some questionable sounds coming from them— the fact that they couldn't recognise what those creatures were, sent shivers down their spine, it completely terrorised them, it could only mean that something new was outside— they decided to split up. 

The thing is, the groups were heavily uneven, only Nancy chose to stay with Steve, Joyce was staying with Hopper, Will and El stayed with their parents, Mike followed El, and Dustin was too vulnerable on his own with the crutches to stay in a much smaller group.

Steve retreated back to her, sitting on the cushion sideways to her, he grabbed her hand, hoping it would help him calm down his anger. 

He completely ignored the sounds of them getting their equipment and Hopper calling Nancy to share some with her, more ammunition, pocket knives, lighters, and tiny bottles of liquor.

She watched them leave, guns and makeshift weapons in hands, Dustin in the middle of them to assure his safety, until they were completely out of her eyesight, then her head turned to Steve, his back to her.

Nancy feared his mood wouldn't help them develop a plan to get out, but they needed to elaborate one, quickly, so, trying to ignore the worrisome shrieks from outside, she cautiously stepped towards Steve.

She sat on the ground, facing him, her head levelling with Steve’s lover, quietly observing her face, how her eyes kept moving back and forth, witnessing she was somewhere they couldn't join. 

“She’s getting colder, I don't know what to do to rid her of him,” Steve let out quietly, like a secret he could finally let out.

Nancy’s head turned to him, frowning.

“I didn't want to bring it up because I didn't know how everyone would react to it, probably the same as what happened, but–,” he paused, a brief glance towards her, not yet sure if he could say it, but what would she do? Throw a tantrum? Too late for that.

“I’m almost sure she’s.. The Mind Flayer has her, the same way he had with Will. She was awake before we all heard that terrific sound, she felt.. off, like she wasn't with us, she didn't feel how cold she is, and it may be in my head but, I feel like she’s colder.” 

She nodded, and immediately her brain thought of a way to make it out, wheels spinning on end, until Steve’s voice broke it all up, “To be honest, I’m aware I’ve doomed us all, I didn't think anyone would support me, I — I thought I would.. die alongside her.” 

Shock blew on her face, her eyes moved to his face, his head low, searching for his eyes she tilted her head to the side, “Steve..” 

Deep in his eyes was sadness, and desperation, nothing she would have expected from him, she was stunted, shocked. His eyes trailed back to her, his thumb mindlessly caressed her cold skin. 

It gave Nancy more determination to give her best to elaborate the best plan possible.. in Hell.

Their plan was quite simple, Steve would carry her and Nancy would go first, gun in hand, and they would travel small location to small location, not more than a block away to make sure they could attempt to hear or see their enemies, try to, at least. 

Nancy made sure she had enough ammunition in the pockets of her jacket, along with a pocketknife, she gave one to Steve and hid one in the upper pocket of her jeans.

Out of curiosity, and because she hadn’t dared to previously, Nancy held her hands and realised how cold she was, she also realised she had never properly inspected her injuries, she hadn't acknowledged what had happened to her.

She could see the multiple cuts through the materials of her long sleeve shirt and her jeans, but the worst injury was the one on her abdomen, she hadn't realised it was that bad, of course she had seen but.. she hadn't paid attention given everything that happened.

She pulled up the shirt, she let out a gasp when she saw the rawness of her injury and Steve cleaned it the best he could, the skin around was inflamed, swollen, and mostly fresh blood around the piece of wood impaled, but it kept the blood loss controlled.

One thing she wasn't sure though, were the jet black veins exiting the wound, calmly she called for Steve, who had been in the kitchen looking for more supplies. He was about to ask but he saw, and the answer to his doubts were there, she was taken by the Mind Flayer, it resembled everything they had seen in Will, another shriek echoed through the city.

“We have to hurry,” Steve briefly whispered and hurried himself to put on his jacket, his backpack followed, Nancy copied him, taking off the security on her gun, she opened the door as silently as she could, stepping carefully outside.

One hand holding a flashlight, the other hand holding her gun, she stepped cautiously through the porch as Steve held her, one arm wrapped under her knees, the other under her waist. He followed her carefully, arriving first to the store they had scavenged, a ten minute break later —inspecting their surroundings and planning as soundlessly as they could.

They continued like this without any encounters, house after house after house until they heard human screams and more guttural shrieks.

It wasn't just human screams, pained screams and warnings to run off. Nancy recognised Jonathan’s voice in the lot, paralysed on the spot she was caught between helping them or staying with Steve. She turned to him, and he knew immediately what she was about to do, he didn't even wait for her to speak, he walked towards the nearest house to hide.

He heard Nancy run off to where the screams came from, getting closer to the door he hoped to be able to touch the handle with her in his arms, but he didn't even have the time to, she started convulsing in his arms.

“No, no, no, no!,” not as silent as he hoped to be, but to be able to carry her inside he had to force his way in, not exactly subtle, but his only choice.

So he forced the door open with his leg and rushed inside, he hid upstairs, closed all the doors, because he knew that every creature around had heard him barge in and rush upstairs.

He tried his best to keep her on her side while she was convulsing, as silent as possible, he prayed to God they wouldn't be found, eyes closed, hands tightly holding her body, he hoped. 

When the darkness completely surrounded her, she knew something was coming but she hadn't expected to be tormented by sounds only in complete and utter nothingness.

He had pulled out everything that's been hurting her for her entire life, hearing it made the memories come back and reliving them was torture. He knew what he was doing. 

Her parents fighting from her earliest moments, trying to muffle the screams with her small hands, their tension always growing as years went on, music blaring loudly in her room to isolate herself from her family, hiding behind her books. 

The expectations and the bar her parents set so high up she couldn't reach. 

Then came the loneliness and difficulties she went through making friends, the jealousy, the people pleasing in fear of being left alone, how she’s been harming herself on all levels and coping in unhealthy ways.

Every voice that spat venom at her face resurfaced, making her try to scream above those voices to make it all stop. 

She heard Nancy screaming at her to stop pushing her about Barbara, why she had so suddenly stopped trying looking for her, spitting at her that she had made the choice to be alone when Nancy had tried befriending her so it gave her no rights to be mad at her. Nancy had even gone so far as telling her that she deserved to be left alone.

Covering her ears with her hands wasn't working, she could still hear everything, she had retreated to her knees, her forehead and her arms touching the ground with her hands tightly put around her ears, she had completely turned into herself. 

Seconds turned into minutes, it went on with Steve, and the first fling before him. Both had hurt her in similar ways, and struck her self esteem lower than it already was. Hearing that boy say she was too much to handle, too needy, and nothing but a passable one night stand. Her first experience. Then Steve, how he had left her in her room, vacating her heart.

She hadn’t realised the tears that fell down, it’s when it had stopped that she noticed she was crying, she could still hear it, feel those words as if they were snakes crawling their way in under her skin.

She let out a breath of relief when she finally realised that silence surrounded her, the muscles in her arms aching, now all her body screamed for a chance to let go, that it’s had enough, and her mind agreed. 

She’s had enough.

She opened her eyes but her eyelids were heavy, when she looked around herself she didn't recognise where she was, her jeans and arms were wet from the grass and the mud, she was in the woods.

She completely sat down, turned her upper body around so she could take a glance at her surroundings, grass, trees, there was a form a few feet from her, but she could hardly see what it was, hidden behind the mist.

She got up, holding onto a tree next to her as her vision got blurry, she closed her eyes and tried to catch her breath, when she felt capable enough she walked towards the ambiguous form.

It was a handmade wooden castle, “Welcome all friends” and “Castle Byers” written on the front in yellow. She passed through the tarp, and a gasp left her mouth as soon as she saw him.

“So, this is where you're hiding,” a voice that resembled hers said, but it hadn't come from her own mouth, turning around she saw her alter ego leave as quickly as she came in. Turning inside the makeshift castle, she looked one last time at a very weakened, rotten and rotting body of Vecna, seemingly taking his very last breaths until the scenery floated away like a candle’s flame blown off.

Only the electrifying blue of his eyes seemed to be stuck a few moments later, until she was met with darkness and silence. Nothingness.

Steve waited, he waited for so long, her body had stopped convulsing just moments ago, he had left her when he was sure she was still breathing, ventured on the porch to see what was going on. He could hear from afar the screams of the creatures, but nothing from Nancy or the others.

Pocket knife in hand, he heard nothing that told him it wasn’t safe to go and he needed to get them away as fast as possible. So he tried his luck and went back inside to carry her downstairs, cautious on the steps, he put her down on the sofa and rushed to the windows in the hopes of finding Nancy walking back to them.

He did see and hear the occasional Demodog or Demobat roaming around, but nothing, he hesitated, could he risk it? Defenseless having to carry her, it would be suicide. 

Studying their neighbourhood, he hadn’t realised the noises that came from the couch, deep in his thoughts.

Until he heard her whisper his name, he rushed to her side, she was blinking away her confusion, he pulled up her shirt to look at the wound and the black veins were still there, they had retreated back though. Hope warmed his body.

He was about to rapidly explain to her what had gone and what they needed to do, but a violent shake broke through the earth, followed by the sound of something exploding.

Just a turn towards the sound and through the windows they saw bombs exploding, falling down like rain.

He rushed her up, with a strong grip around her waist he ran off outside through the back door that led to the edge of the woods.

Together they sprinted off away, successful to avoid any bombs, he heard some creatures following them but they were killed off easily as the hive mind worked its way until he brutally realised that she was part of it too as she fell unconscious on the ground.

Until the very end he would stay with her.

He doesn't realise when he falls unconscious too, he only knows that he’s an arm’s length from her.. as long as he dies alongside her..

There was nothing around her, not a sound, not a weird looking doppelganger, not Vecna to torment her.

Just, back at the starting point, with nothingness and an uncomfortable silence surrounding her. 

Her arms closed off, tight around her body to try and warm herself a bit, she kept walking around nothingness. 

She wondered if she was going to be stuck in there forever, does she want to go back to Steve? Does she want to go back at all? She truly didn’t know, she didn’t know if she had the choice, but if she had it, would she return back to Hawkins? 

She didn’t have time to ponder the question really, because she joined the darkness within, and shortly after, she was back in her unconscious body, lying on the ground, fire spreading as the US army was gaining ground in the Upside Down, with it, the bombing kept going, as it’s the only weapon they possessed that would work. 

Eradicate it all with fire— were the final words left from Dr Owens’s lips as he too, joined nothingness after being tortured for what felt like eternity, he had given nothing, not a single thing about Eleven or anything that he knew, except how to kill it. 

Bodies defenceless, they could only hope they would either survive together or die together. 

[stevefromupsidedown]

FAÇADE — Pt, eight : the battle of Hawkins • steve harrington x f!reader

synopsis: Steve will do anything to be alongside her, even in death. warnings: fem!reader with she/her pronouns, deaths, blood, gore and violence, references to mental health issues and low self esteem, very heavy on the angst, very little comfort, basically reader's the worst pessimist, very introspective, references to sexual themes, 18+ ONLY (overall warnings for the series, read at your own risk) This material falls under @takemetothelakes-poets’ property.

PT, NINE | SERIES MASTERLIST | CHAPTER PLAYLIST

The Upside Down was strangely quiet, there was not a particular direction set for them, finding a good enough place to hide and rest was their only goal for now. 

The group of hunters didn’t follow them, they probably thought they were maniacs for going into the gates, which… you know, perspectives. 

Not a sound was shared within the group, they had all gained back consciousness to Will’s voice waking them, throbbing headaches, nausea, more bruises and scratches, only the common goal to find someplace safe enough to rest. 

They walked through the woods for a bit, without knowing how much time had passed or what time or day it was, lost in darkness with only the red lightning shooting through the dark sky, and lost in time as Hawkins was lost in 83’ and with no sunlight nor moonlight to guide them. 

Marching along demolished houses, Hopper’s guess was to keep going until they got close enough to Hawkins’ centre; the closer the buildings were to the edge of the forest, the safer they were. 

“I know someplace, not far from here, Bradley’s Big Guy, down Center Street, there’s food and bottled water, it’s safe,” Will paused, waiting for an answer as everyone had stopped and turned to look at him, confused at the piece of information. 

“If it’s not destroyed, I could—”

“No,” Hopper interrupted, frowning, stoic and quite uncomfortable that a teenager would provide for them, he was the adult, he had to be the guardian.. didn’t he? “No. No one goes out anywhere alone, and how do you know that, kid?”

Will repositioned his hand around Dustin’s waist to get a firmer grip, finding himself quite embarrassed, “It’s.. it’s how I survived the first time around..” he added in a low voice, watching Hopper’s face turn into shame.. The realisation felt like a slap on the face, those kids have been surviving for years, and as of lately, without him, those kids have been going through this for four years now, they weren’t helpless nor incapable. They grew up on this, with this.

“Right.. It’s a good idea Will. We’ll go later, we have enough food for today, we need to find somewhere to rest first.” 

They kept on walking the length of the street, until they found a house, they had a direct access to the forest as it was on the edge, and Bradley’s Big Guy was about one block away, the library and police station were about three blocks away, so they were pretty close to the centre without catching anyone or anything’s attention. 

The house was a perfectly fine place to crash given the situation, they ate in silence, and used baby wipes to try and clean themselves a little bit, they emptied the packs of baby wipes given their number, and silently said their farewell to having proper hygiene. 

They decided on who takes watch first, and quickly everyone walked upstairs except Steve and Nancy who both covered the front and back doors. 

Steve had absolutely no desire nor the capability to fall asleep after the events of the previous days.

The Upside Down was uncharacteristically quiet, Steve had taken a barstool to take breaks standing up, watching through the windows, hidden by the curtain, there were no creatures, except Demobats he had seen fly after some time but it was very calm otherwise, which felt just worse. 

Moving a bit in the kitchen’s windows he saw the familiar shadowy form of the Mind Flayer’s head, far from there, it looked right in their direction but it was so stoic. 

Steve had goosebumps just observing it doing nothing but knowing he was watched, made him feel terrible. The powerlessness that came with that fact was like the weight of the sky on his shoulders. 

In need of a break he made his way to Nancy and discovered her in the living room, sitting on the sofa’s headrest, she turned her head when she heard him move, he sat down on the stairs’ first steps, sighing lightly. 

“Did you see anything?”

He shook his head, his fingers playing with the hem of his long sleeve shirt, “No, Demobats some time ago, and the Mind Flayer’s creepy head, but no, it’s.. It’s strangely quiet, don’t you think?” 

“It’s weird, yeah, we’re accustomed to more violence and attacks from the Upside Down, which only makes me wonder, how terrible is it gonna be when it comes?” 

He agreed, his head shaking, humming a little bit, giving thoughts to what she said, she was right, she had vocalised his worries, but Steve was quieter than usual, more.. kept together, which didn’t look like him to Nancy, and she couldn’t be more wrong. 

He absolutely wasn’t kept together, his train of thoughts had naturally derived to her and Eddie and he couldn’t stop worrying about them, “Do you think we’ll find them?” 

Now she could see through his worry, it’s almost like she didn’t recognise that side of him, he had changed so much, in the best way and she had failed to see that, but she stopped her thoughts from diving in dangerous territories and turned her body to face him. 

Steve’s lover’s name fell from her lips and his body had a visceral feeling, a longing so deep from his soul like he was lost without her, and he was, but Nancy continued, “She survived for a few days on her own without any knowledge of the Upside Down. I’m sure they’ll be okay, I’m only hoping we’ll find them quickly and soon.” 

His eyebrows furrowed, his frame turning more to her, “Do yo—,” he started but was cut off by screams echoing in the darkness, coming from one block away maximum, she turned around and Steve rushed to her side to try and catch a glance. 

The buildings and houses covered the entirety of it and they couldn’t see anything, the screams kept on going until Nancy gasped louder than she had intended to let out and Steve wanted to ask what until he saw. 

The Mind Flayer had gotten drastically closer to them, the swarm of Demobats left and the cries and screams quieted down, under their very frightened eyes and paralysed bodies by fear they watched as the Mind Flayer arrived closer and closer, with one singular, strident scream, the shadowy creature moved its two arms on the front and it being so gargantuan it moved at incredible speed to join the opposite side of town, overlooking the Upside Down once again. 

Steve and Nancy looked at each other, dumbstruck, unsure if they hallucinated what they just witnessed. 

They rushed to wake up everyone upstairs to explain what just happened only to find Will sitting on the floor, his head in his hands, the rest of the group around him. 

“What’s happening?,” 

“The Mind Flayer.. Those screams.. Please tell me I wasn’t hallucinating,” Will spoke directly to Nancy, his eyes red and wet, 

“You guys heard those too?” 

“‘T was pretty hard to miss. Will woke us up, saying that the Mind Flayer was coming, that he was hunting, he was.. he talked so fast, we couldn’t understand anything else,” Hopper calmly said, his eyes attentive to Will. 

Nancy explained them what they had witnessed, meanwhile Steve was deep in his thoughts, he had a feeling he knew who were attacked, he wanted to be wrong of course, but he couldn’t ignore his instinct, the voice behind the screams was so similar to him, “We have to go see if we can help whoever’s out there,” his voice broke through, everyone turned to him, either shocked or confused.

“We could get killed, are you insane?!” Jonathan was the first one to answer, he was equally as confused as everyone else but he grew tired of the situation, it seemed to be a never-ending situation where they continuously got hurt, followed, nearly killed.

Steve felt uneasy as soon as he heard him, and.. he was quite angry too, “We could get killed at any moment by being here, if it were you, wouldn’t you want to be given help if you were still alive? If it were Will? Nancy? We wouldn’t be talking about it, we would already be doing it, Jonathan,” Steve paused, he hadn’t felt so much anger towards Jonathan in years, and it seemed he was completely lashing out his anger.. And his truth. 

He hadn’t said anything to both Jonathan and Nancy when she had gone to him to be their own couple while they hadn’t officially put an end to their relationship, he felt cheated on but said nothing, and even having moved on from them, he hated it all. He hated still having to deal with this with them because Jonathan or Nancy would decide if something would have meaning or be accepted without a single thought back, while Steve has been considered the stupid and irresponsible one everywhere he stepped, he was immensely aware of that and he had enough. 

He took a step closer to Jonathan, who stood next to Nancy, 

“Your mother would be screaming both of your names without a care in the world that it would pinpoint all the creatures to us and we would be prey served on a silver platter, but you’re right, let’s not go help someone in need even if we’re in deep shit ourselves, let’s be so selfish we might stay here and rot and wait for either creatures to come find and kill us all. After all, you’ve always been one to disregard one’s feelings and trust your most selfish instinct isn’t that correct? You two are made for each other,” Steve finished, his words spitting venom that shocked everyone, but his head turned to Nancy, his glance never leaving hers’ with the most serious and warning look imprinted in his pupils. 

He left the room, leaving the room confused as to why would he lash out like that, and mostly, how it didn’t look like him at all, except Nancy, she felt like she was a deer caught by headlights, and she knew very well what he was referring to, Jonathan didn’t quite understand what it meant, he played it off as everyone was tired and irritable.

Being in such a large group and living a nightmarish situation, it was bound to create tension between tired, irritable and hurt people, but out of everyone, he didn’t expect Steve to be one of those as he always thought of him as.. small-minded and, well, idiotic. Jonathan’s opinion hadn’t changed from high-school which made him as narrow-minded as Steve believed him to be. 

They heard the front door closing shut and it sort of awaken everyone as they realised Steve had left, with a strangeness in their eyes, Hopper and Joyce left the floor and were quick on their feet to follow him, the kids copied the adults, the couple was left in the room, looking at each other, dumbfounded. 

Reluctantly, they followed the rest of the group until there was no one left. 

Steve was trying to pinpoint the exact location, upon the road he was only met with fractured asphalt and vines, the store was what he found first, he was about to step inside when he heard Hopper’s stopping him, asking him to wait for them, “We leave no one behind, got it?” 

He nodded, only half heartedly, Steve knew that he wouldn’t be much of a priority to anyone, and there was no point sugarcoating it, it was a fact and he was aware of it. His closest and best friend Robin was dead so he had no one close enough for it, except Eddie and her, if he managed to find them, and he had an intuition telling him he wasn’t far from them. That gave him enough of a motivation and will to act on it. 

Dustin was in between Mike and Will as they seemed to be his designated human crutches, but they didn’t mind; the three of them were somewhat content to have each other, Steve waited for them, and stepped after, not bothering to wait for Nancy and Joanthan from afar. 

They scavenged whatever they could find, whether it was food —Hopper didn’t trust canned food from the Upside Down, he wouldn’t be able to explain why, but he didn’t so they settled for packaged food in see through plastic— and absolutely anything that could be useful to make weapons or first aid kits. 

Leaving his aisle, small flashlight in hand —Hopper had given them when they had left his cabin, Steve had completely forgotten he had it as he had escaped death a million times before and using a flashlight didn’t seem smart— Steve had gone to the back of the aisle to search again until he found droplets of dried, marooned blood on the ground. 

His curiosity piqued, he followed it, it lead to the back, the workers’ only area, the clear glass doors intact and dirtied with numerous things including dried blood, it lead to a corridor with the back entrance and another room, no doors, it seemed to be used as a storage space and break room. 

He entered the latter as he followed the trail of blood, piles of clothes and cloths to make what seemed like a makeshift mattress, also bloodied, but it was fresher, it looked a bit sticky, coagulated, and didn’t look like the trail, or at least there were two different trails of blood. 

He sighed, he retraced his steps and decided on following down the corridor and exited through the back door, as he did so, Dustin had realised he had gone off and terribly wanted to follow him, he asked Mike to provide him with broomsticks and rubber, he fabricated crutches quickly and was able to follow Steve through the corridor, Mike and Will on his heels. 

They walked for only a few feet when they saw two people on the ground, one lying on his back, the other on the side, unfortunately, they could see who it was, Eddie’s hair was recognisable from that distance, they’ve all stopped in their tracks. 

Steve’s heart stopped, his legs were glued on the asphalt. His heartbeat suddenly grew louder in his ears, time had stopped. The world around him was crumbling down upon him and he was left powerless. 

No. No. No, no no, no, no, no. It can’t be..

Please, for the love of God, No. 

Dustin’s voice broke him out from his paralysis, the poor teenager was next to Eddie, and for a second, it’s like they were reliving the same scene, days prior.

Dustin was crying out, hands tightly gripped to Eddie’s leather jacket, his cheeks and his eyes drowning in his tears, he was very vocal, just uncontrollable sob after another. 

He approached, cautiously as his knees were weakening, step after step it hit him more and more. 

Arriving at Dustin's level, his eyes first laid on Eddie, there was absolutely no doubt that he was dead, the amount of blood he had around him was.. deeply concerning. Pale lips, skin, the rigidness in his limbs, the emptiness in his eyes.. The pool of blood around him and on him..  it didn’t lie. 

His eyes fell upon her hands tightly intertwined in his, and from this moment it felt like an out of body experience. He crouched down next to Dustin, brought a trembling hand towards Eddie’s jaw, around where his jugular should be, an unsettling chill ran down his body when his fingertips touched coldness and rigid skin, he didn’t say anything, he only closed his eyes, his hand briefly touching his back to let him know he was there, and left Dustin to crouch next to her. 

Same trembling hand touched around her neck and he was shaken by a violent wave of hope, he could sense a fragile pulse, her skin was warmer and not as stiff, he lied her on her back, he was struck by the amount of blood she had on herself, some of it had to be Eddie’s, but he could see the difference between theirs, and immediately Steve tried looking for a wound, looking around her face, her neck, then his hands proceeded to lower his inspection, her cleavage then her arms, one side of her abdomen then the other and —Fuck! 

His eyes and brows widened in shock, fingertips soaked in blood, again, he didn’t know much, but he knew not to remove what was impaled in her lower abdomen. He completely fell on his knees, his eyes did double takes to her wound and her unresponsive face, he saw the faint rhythm of her stomach moving up and down, an immediate reaction of lo.. something struck him and his hands grabbed her cheeks, moving her face so she was facing him. 

His finger pads inspected her hair line as he felt scabs and he sensed many, small cuts, he could feel the inflamed skin under the bruises, her name fell from his lips like a never ending spell, conjuring her to open her eyes and talk to him. He longed to see the colour of her eyes and the sound of her voice, to see a tiny smile appear around the corner of her lips, it would appease his mind, pacify his every anxious thoughts. 

To Hopper approaching it sounded like a solemn prayer, he couldn’t quite see who was with Dustin and Steve until he was closer and he stopped in his tracks, he knew the Munson kid from afar as the sheriff he had had encounters with him, he had never been so strongly opinionated as the rest of town since he knew Eddie’s background, always let him go with a warning as he was himself not so.. uninfluenced.

As for her.. he did know her family, but not that well, he remembers seeing her here and there in town, walking home from high-school, ignoring the cars full of her classmates making fun of her as they drove, he remembers that; he also remembers not doing anything about it. Watching it happen. 

Joyce approached Hopper, who got closer to Mike and Will, the four of them felt powerless, and completely out of it as they saw Dustin’s never ending sobs and Steve’s tentative of waking her up, even if most of them didn’t really know who she was. 

Steve was panicking upon the facts that a. They were in the Upside Down, b. Eddie was dead, c. he felt the most gut wrenching guilt to have been with her, having had incredible moments with her as a couple when he knew that trying to find love would lead to this situation, he felt responsible for it, and he hated himself for it, she shouldn’t have gotten involved, she didn’t deserve all the pain, injuries it inflicted her. She didn’t deserve any of this and trying to get her to wake up, brought all of his guilt, shame, allowed it to weigh his chest more.

If she would die, he would be responsible, it would be his fault, and he would die to make up for it.

Hopper silently suggested that they bring her with them to a nearby house as they were too exposed, so he detached their fingers intertwined together and carried Eddie towards the woods, and tried his best to pay him the respect and rest he deserves, even in death. Steve insisted on carrying her even though his leg hurt from the additional weight he carried, it felt like he carried the remorse he felt, like he deserved it.

Mike had gone to Dustin to help him up, he gently walked him back to the group and they followed Steve to the house he was walking to. Will was fast to open the door and let everyone in, even if he wasn’t really sure what the plan was, but did anyone really know? 

Jonathan and Nancy had joined the group later and had discovered the scene, Steve’s arms circling under her knees and shoulders. Even if Jonathan had seen them holding hands as they arrived in Hawkins a few days prior, he could not stop thinking about how odd it was seeing them together. 

Nancy felt even more remorse over the entire situation, and over the fact that Jonathan had insinuated to abandon her when she was still alive and had a chance of surviving, even a small one, she felt like the worst friend ever. Jonathan recognised the mood change in her features and tried to hold her hand but she refused him, and with a glance he couldn’t recognise, she left ahead of him, catching up on the group, leaving him bereft.

Everyone followed Steve and Hopper as he walked straight for the living room, and lied her down to the closest couch, he didn’t really know what to do next, he wasn’t as skilled as her or Hopper, but he had watched her reanimate Eddie and tend to their wounds. 

Hopper saw the panic settled in in now knowing what to do and the what ifs, so he put a hand on his shoulder to get his attention, “There’s not much we can do, apart from cleaning the wound and until she wakes, her best shot is getting out of this place, kid.” 

He silently agreed, nodded, then proceeded to do as advised with the best they had while Hopper instructed the others to find rooms to rest in as he and Joyce would take the first watch. 

Everyone scattered away, Hopper settled on the stairs, his eyes on both the front door and the living room, silently watching Steve clean the wound in silence. They had managed to find antiseptic soap, it was the best he could do as he got rid of all the dried blood around the wound to discover the skin around to be quite stiff and the tiniest bit warmer. It wasn’t good and he hoped he was wrong by assuming it was getting infected. 

Every now and then he would steal a glance toward her face to search for any signs that she was waking up or uncomfortable, in pain. He understood how she was still alive, she was losing blood in such a slow and steady rhythm she still had chances to survive.. for now. 

He observed her stomach rising and falling as she breathed, kneeled on the ground next to her, Hopper recognised that devotion, he sincerely hoped they would find a way quickly enough to get them both, as far as he knew, they deserved to get out and get their lives back far away from Hawkins, in them he saw younger Joyce and himself, back in high-school, flirting in the corridors, before he left for Vietnam.

Steve lowered his head, he hadn’t expected to be crying, the tears falling freely and soundlessly, the fear of losing her setting so deeply in his bones like never before, he couldn’t resist it, nor stop it.

His hands held on hers’ tightly, intertwined their fingers. 

He brought the back of her hand to his lips, chaste pecks on her skin, closed eyes, tears getting caught on her knuckles. “You can’t leave me, please, please, wake up. I don’t know what I’m gonna do if you don’t.” 

Her name fell from his lips like a plea, like a prayer. His whispers were so low he was barely able to listen to himself. He kept pleading silently until he had no tears left to cry, under Hopper’s very discreet eyes. 

He keeped one of her hands as he used his backpacks like a pillow, their intertwined hand close to him as he fell asleep out of complete exhaustion, into pure darkness. 

A detail none has seen yet due to the important lack of light and the general sense of panic and survival, is that through her shut tight eyelids, one should be able to see her eyes flutter endlessly under the lids, the same way Max had when Vecna was infiltrating her mind. 

She opened her eyes and she was surrounded by complete darkness, alone, so soundless it felt deeply unsettling. She looked around, it was just darkness beyond sight, not a sound, only some light where she stood and it seemed to follow her, she didn’t understand. 

Expecting pain as she walked but she didn’t feel any, so she looked down at her body, to her surprise, she looked as if she hadn’t gone through literal Hell. Not even a hint of blood, or inflamed and tugging skin around the bruises and wounds, she didn’t have the small piece of wood impaled in her abdomen, her clothes were intact, clean.

Her long sleeve shirt was in one piece, as if she didn’t have a thousand cuts all over her body from the running, falling and trying to survive to monsters. It didn’t match real life, so she wondered, quietly but in confusion, 

“Am I dead? Is this.. Is this what death looks like?” 

Thinking of death, “Eddie? Are you there?” 

She was answered with silence, only her own voice and its echo fading through the darkness. 

“I don’t understand. I’m not supposed to be stuck here, am I? What’s this?,” She thought out loud, and as she realised that she may be stuck here with no way out for eternity, she felt her heartbeat moving higher against her thorax, her hands turned into fists.

The panic in her body turned a dial up as she heard footsteps coming towards her, and turning around, she was met with eyes the same colour as hers’. 

Goosebumps travelled along her body as her eyes and brows widened in shock, she was stuck in her movements, paralysed like. 

The body moving to her had gotten closer, facing her completely, she looked at her own reflection, same height, same hair texture and colour, body type, clothes, except, her look alike had the appearance of someone who tried to survive the Upside Down for a couple of days.

Her hair was unravelled, some strands stuck in dirt and clumps of blood, her skin and clothes underwent the struggles of her misadventure, cuts through her legs, torso, arms and face. The small piece of wood or whatever it was, impaled in the low side of her abdomen, she couldn’t see them, but she knew where the bruises were and how tensed and pained her skin around those wounds were. This was—is— her. 

She stood in front of her reflection, but it wasn’t motionless, she had walked, she was blinking, looking at herself, a smirk pulling on her lips.

Minutes passed as she needed to compose herself, she wanted to flee so badly but she knew she couldn’t even though she didn’t understand what was happening. 

In one desperate move she looked down at her hands, the bottom of her jeans, it was then that she saw her misadventure in the Upside Down on herself, the cuts, on the skin, through the clothes, the aches in her body from all the running, the bruises, the pain came back like she was struck by lightning and when she looked up, her alter ego had disappeared, she was alone. 

Her muscles suddenly ached, she felt everything just like when she was kneeled next to Eddie.. Her body is screaming so loudly that everything just hurts and it’s insufferable. 

She was in complete solitude, tiniest bit of light around her whenever she moved, with nothing but a disturbing silence as a companion, and the longest corridor filled with darkness.

Steve was shaken awake by a strong pair of arms, accompanied by Hopper’s voice to summon him awake, he didn’t understand anything at first, his mind so groggy he felt like he was drunk, then, what Hopper told him jolted him awake, “She’s awake, kid.” 

He immediately sat up and turned to her, inspecting her in anticipation. She remained lying down on the couch he had put her in, blinking away her confusion, he was eager, desperate, to hear from her, he squeezed the hand intertwined with hers’, it got her attention and she turned her head to him, a frown appearing on her brows. 

Submerged by two existing identities —hers’ and the Mind Flayer— she struggled to recognise the place and the people surrounding her, and Steve seemed to understand it as the confusion didn’t part from her face, looking at the three faces in front of her, Hopper, Joyce and Steve’s. 

The two adults didn’t know her enough to know that it was unusual, maybe she had fallen on her head multiple times and she was concussed, or the multiple injuries plus the emotional struggle of it all could lead to some kind of amnesia but Steve knew better, or, suspected better, he chose to put it aside and not bring it up now. 

She asked where she was, what was happening, she didn’t seem to remember anything it’s only when Steve recalled the weeks past events’ she seemed to remember some, then it clicked for Joyce, this kind of amnesia, the hesitancy, the stress in remembering past and present events, she knows it well because she’s seen it in Will back at the lab, when the Mind Flayer launched an attack, using him as a spy. 

The similarities were so strong, it felt like déjà-vu. 

From the deepest corners in her mind that the Mind Flayer has infiltrated she had access to everything the creature wanted her to see and know, instructing her with one task, but she didn’t know what it was. 

It felt like going into a room without knowing why she came there. 

Sat side by side on the sofa, Steve couldn’t stop keeping his eyes on her. He knew something was off, it didn’t feel like she was there, like she was distracted, evasive, it didn’t feel like her. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Joyce taking Hopper by the elbow to pull him aside, whispering things, he glanced towards them and he knew instantly they were talking about her. 

Hopper looked away as soon as he saw Steve catching him, frowning. 

He was about to stand up and join them when she sighed loudly, one glance back towards her and he saw her hands entangled deep in her scalp in frustration, almost pulling at the root, her back completely resting against the sofa, her eyes set on the ceiling covered in vines. 

Steve’s voice pulled her out of the spinning wheels turning in her brain, as she let go of the tangles in her hair, his hand met in the middle and caught hers, intertwining their fingers together, his eyes widened the moment he touched her skin and realised she was cold.

He brought himself closer and took both her hands in his, his thumbs ran around her wrists, “Do you feel cold ?”

Her brows frowned furthermore, there was some kind of latence in her answer as she didn’t really know if she felt cold or not, “No, I— I feel..,” she paused, her throat was sore from all the screaming and shouting she had done. 

Trying to clear her throat, she continued, her voice weakened and a bit hoarse, ”I don’t feel cold or hot, I feel so.. eerie. Like I’m not even here. Like I’m.. dying on the inside.”  

Steve closed his eyes for a few seconds as he tried to process what she was saying, his suspicious were rising alarmingly high, but when he opened his eyes he saw she had her turned her head towards the windows, following her gaze, he saw the Mind Flayer stood at the complete opposite side of town, far away, but he kept looking back and forth between her and noticed that its’ head had moved towards them. 

Goosebumps and chills rose along his body, his gaze focused solely on her, one final glance to the creature when he saw its’ head moving back to the position it had, overlooking the city, then one glance at her, she had such a passive expression in her eyes that he couldn’t recognise. 

Almost in sync, as she closed her eyes the most intense, piercing guttural shriek echoed in town, eyes revulsed behind her eyelids, Steve began panicking, shaking her arms, strong grip on her shoulders, her body was stoic, and he had flashbacks of Max and Nancy going through the same episode. 

Talking loudly than he thought, he shouted her name, getting even closer, practically straddling her as her head fell back, and with two firm hands he held her cheeks and tried to get her to wake, with no success. 

With the monstrous shriek and Steve practically shouting her name, it had woken up everyone sleeping and brought Hopper and Joyce as soon as they noticed Steve moving on the couch. Everyone’s attention filled the room with so much noise it nourished the stress and panic deep beneath him, soonly the excruciating noise in the room was quieted down by more guttural shrieks coming from outside. 

The movement of panic grew stronger and finally, someone thought aloud that their best choice was to leave now or all their chances of surviving would be close to none —which was already the case. 

That made Steve’s muscles tense, he finished letting her head fall gently on the cushion, he turned around, his eyes darkened and his face looked so tense that no one knew what to expect.

Nancy hadn’t expected Jonathan to propose such a thing, her head turned to him, shock evident on her face. 

Steve wasn’t so surprised, “Again with the leaving people behind? People that aren’t close enough to you, that is. Please go, be the first to be eaten, pulled apart, whatever they do with you, I don’t give a fuck.” 

“No, no one’s going anywhere, you listen to me? No one’s leaving anyone behind,” Hopper’s voice tried to be stern but everyone’s patience was running low, it allowed more recklessness too. 

“So what, we’re supposed to stay here and wait until she wakes up when we know that we are going to be dead staying here, I’m supposed to wait for her when I know that the more we wait, the more we are targets!”

“Jonathan, she deserves the same chances as us to survive, we’re not leaving her behind, this is insane.”

“Nancy, this is life or death, the choice is pretty simple, we’ve already lost so much time, we can’t allow ourselves to lose more.”

“I know this is life or death, should I remind you we’ve all been through this for years, I know that you’re scared, I am too, but punishing her when she could survive too is just not okay! She got involved merely a week ago when she was pulled in by a Demobat. She survived on her own here without knowing anything and she found us when we got stuck too. She could have left then but she stayed and she fought Vecna with us, almost dying countless times, she’s helped Max and she fucking brough back Eddie the first time around, she’s not getting anywhere without us! I owe it to her to not leave her behind like I did for Barb!” 

She could only listen to what was happening around her, it gave her a bitter sensation in the back of her throat, but experiencing such.. vulnerability and inaccessibility in her own body and not having full control, it was insanely uncomfortable and maddening.

Forcibly stoic, unable to move, she couldn’t do anything but listening to everything that happened, in the blink of an eye, she found herself to be plunged in complete darkness, then, after a few seconds, she heard footsteps, the lights above her started flickering and she realised she wasn't in complete darkness anymore. 

She found herself to be in some corridor, evidence of a previous fight on the bloodied walls and the cracked tiles. She turned her body to the sounds coming from a man walking towards her, his pace confident, arms behind his back, dirty blond hair and entirely dressed as someone that came out of an asylum or some lab. She didn't know who it was, but she had a strong suspicion about his identity.

She was too shocked and frightened to form a sentence, the man resembled nothing like the descriptions she’s had from her friends. 

The light above kept flickering which allowed their surroundings to move to a darker but lengthier space, darker tiles on the walls and on the ground, with turned off lights on a spherical shape on a corner, but she focused on him, straightening her body and planting her feet in the ground. 

It indicated to him she knew how he was, she was on the defensive, which didn't matter that much as he was already infiltrating her mind. 

“If you don't wake up, you and your friends will die,” his voice wasn't at all like she expected, it was soft, it didn't hold any roughness or threats, it warned her though.

Frowning, she didn't understand the situation, she struggled to form words, so he continued, “The clock is ticking.” 

His head moved slightly, he looked at her up and down, his chin down to analyse her posture and a weakness point, then chin up, he tightened his arms behind his back, focusing on the task at hand, his only chance.

She noticed and followed his gaze, body still planted on the ground, hands curled in fists, being studied so closely confused her at first, for someone who had thought of every possible outcome, who had thought of his plan to invade Hawkins, he seemed rather clueless. Making up his plan as it went on. 

“I understand your suspicion, but I could help you.” 

One of her eyebrows raised in surprise, but she kept her mouth shut, having not a clue what she was doing but still resisting, however she could.

He started moving towards her, only to pace in circles around her, slowly, he stopped behind her, an arm’s length from her, he paused for quite some time, which almost made her turn around, “I do not understand.”

His voice has gotten harsher, his patience has worn down, “You think you can resist me, or him?” 

Confusion struck her, what the hell did he mean by him? What was this? Who was he referring to as him?

He completed his circle and arrived by her eye level, their eyes connected, she could read determination on him, the wheels spinning behind those blue eyes, “He won't be as merciful, your only way out is with me.” 

She kept her eyes fixed on him, she could read so much on him now that she had struck a nerve being silent and resisting, which allowed her to make a wild guess, “You're on your own.” 

He tried to not let his surprise show but the frown that appeared on his face could not be missed, “Only people that are left mending for themselves can be so desperate and reckless. He abandoned you, and you’re on your own, Henry,” she paused, watching his face go through so many emotions. 

It clicked then, the Mind Flayer was he, she continued, taking a step closer, “He’s given up on you, and you're left mending for yourself. If you wanted to kill me you already would have done so. So what's your purpose in this?” 

He tilted his head, the frown he wore indicated to her that she was correct, and he wasn't just impatient now, but mad as hell to have been figured out.

“I spared you–”

“No, you can't kill me, you’ve resorted to gaslighting and tormenting. Why?” 

The façade slowly started melting off as he grew angrier, the white outfit swapped for his disfigured rotting body, his voice distorted, their surroundings changed to a field of floating parts of a destroyed house, red mist swallowing the ground.

Moving forward, new parts of his body were revealed, newly burned off parts, gaping holes in his chest, how he was still alive was profoundly shocking to her, “You're hiding,” only a whisper that escaped her lips as she studied their surroundings, “..and hurting.. you're..—” 

He tilted his head, and she switched her attention on his face closer to her, his eyes were the deepest shade of blue, like the deepest regions of an ocean, where the light can barely escape, and darkness only reigns.

“You're dying, and you're left mending for yourself,” she paused, she was more thinking out loud, stretching out her thinking, she had no idea where all this courage came from to reveal his truth, where all that clairvoyance came from, “So, you're stalling.” 

Out in the open, he couldn't fathom how she had understood, “You're left so weak you can't even kill me. Why would you stall if he’s abandoned you?” 

He wasn't as defenceless as she thought him to be, with a grunt she saw his eyes close, and unexpectedly complete darkness surrounded her, she couldn't see anything, as if she were blind. 

She felt deeply uneasy the more she stayed in complete darkness, wishing she had shut her mouth. If he was going to kill her, she hoped it would be quick.

The tension kept rising within the group and Hopper ended the argument by agreeing to split up, even though it killed him because he hated that idea.

Given the alarming number of roaming creatures outside and some questionable sounds coming from them— the fact that they couldn't recognise what those creatures were, sent shivers down their spine, it completely terrorised them, it could only mean that something new was outside— they decided to split up. 

The thing is, the groups were heavily uneven, only Nancy chose to stay with Steve, Joyce was staying with Hopper, Will and El stayed with their parents, Mike followed El, and Dustin was too vulnerable on his own with the crutches to stay in a much smaller group.

Steve retreated back to her, sitting on the cushion sideways to her, he grabbed her hand, hoping it would help him calm down his anger. 

He completely ignored the sounds of them getting their equipment and Hopper calling Nancy to share some with her, more ammunition, pocket knives, lighters, and tiny bottles of liquor.

She watched them leave, guns and makeshift weapons in hands, Dustin in the middle of them to assure his safety, until they were completely out of her eyesight, then her head turned to Steve, his back to her.

Nancy feared his mood wouldn't help them develop a plan to get out, but they needed to elaborate one, quickly, so, trying to ignore the worrisome shrieks from outside, she cautiously stepped towards Steve.

She sat on the ground, facing him, her head levelling with Steve’s lover, quietly observing her face, how her eyes kept moving back and forth, witnessing she was somewhere they couldn't join. 

“She’s getting colder, I don't know what to do to rid her of him,” Steve let out quietly, like a secret he could finally let out.

Nancy’s head turned to him, frowning.

“I didn't want to bring it up because I didn't know how everyone would react to it, probably the same as what happened, but–,” he paused, a brief glance towards her, not yet sure if he could say it, but what would she do? Throw a tantrum? Too late for that.

“I’m almost sure she’s.. The Mind Flayer has her, the same way he had with Will. She was awake before we all heard that terrific sound, she felt.. off, like she wasn't with us, she didn't feel how cold she is, and it may be in my head but, I feel like she’s colder.” 

She nodded, and immediately her brain thought of a way to make it out, wheels spinning on end, until Steve’s voice broke it all up, “To be honest, I’m aware I’ve doomed us all, I didn't think anyone would support me, I — I thought I would.. die alongside her.” 

Shock blew on her face, her eyes moved to his face, his head low, searching for his eyes she tilted her head to the side, “Steve..” 

Deep in his eyes was sadness, and desperation, nothing she would have expected from him, she was stunted, shocked. His eyes trailed back to her, his thumb mindlessly caressed her cold skin. 

It gave Nancy more determination to give her best to elaborate the best plan possible.. in Hell.

Their plan was quite simple, Steve would carry her and Nancy would go first, gun in hand, and they would travel small location to small location, not more than a block away to make sure they could attempt to hear or see their enemies, try to, at least. 

Nancy made sure she had enough ammunition in the pockets of her jacket, along with a pocketknife, she gave one to Steve and hid one in the upper pocket of her jeans.

Out of curiosity, and because she hadn’t dared to previously, Nancy held her hands and realised how cold she was, she also realised she had never properly inspected her injuries, she hadn't acknowledged what had happened to her.

She could see the multiple cuts through the materials of her long sleeve shirt and her jeans, but the worst injury was the one on her abdomen, she hadn't realised it was that bad, of course she had seen but.. she hadn't paid attention given everything that happened.

She pulled up the shirt, she let out a gasp when she saw the rawness of her injury and Steve cleaned it the best he could, the skin around was inflamed, swollen, and mostly fresh blood around the piece of wood impaled, but it kept the blood loss controlled.

One thing she wasn't sure though, were the jet black veins exiting the wound, calmly she called for Steve, who had been in the kitchen looking for more supplies. He was about to ask but he saw, and the answer to his doubts were there, she was taken by the Mind Flayer, it resembled everything they had seen in Will, another shriek echoed through the city.

“We have to hurry,” Steve briefly whispered and hurried himself to put on his jacket, his backpack followed, Nancy copied him, taking off the security on her gun, she opened the door as silently as she could, stepping carefully outside.

One hand holding a flashlight, the other hand holding her gun, she stepped cautiously through the porch as Steve held her, one arm wrapped under her knees, the other under her waist. He followed her carefully, arriving first to the store they had scavenged, a ten minute break later —inspecting their surroundings and planning as soundlessly as they could.

They continued like this without any encounters, house after house after house until they heard human screams and more guttural shrieks.

It wasn't just human screams, pained screams and warnings to run off. Nancy recognised Jonathan’s voice in the lot, paralysed on the spot she was caught between helping them or staying with Steve. She turned to him, and he knew immediately what she was about to do, he didn't even wait for her to speak, he walked towards the nearest house to hide.

He heard Nancy run off to where the screams came from, getting closer to the door he hoped to be able to touch the handle with her in his arms, but he didn't even have the time to, she started convulsing in his arms.

“No, no, no, no!,” not as silent as he hoped to be, but to be able to carry her inside he had to force his way in, not exactly subtle, but his only choice.

So he forced the door open with his leg and rushed inside, he hid upstairs, closed all the doors, because he knew that every creature around had heard him barge in and rush upstairs.

He tried his best to keep her on her side while she was convulsing, as silent as possible, he prayed to God they wouldn't be found, eyes closed, hands tightly holding her body, he hoped. 

When the darkness completely surrounded her, she knew something was coming but she hadn't expected to be tormented by sounds only in complete and utter nothingness.

He had pulled out everything that's been hurting her for her entire life, hearing it made the memories come back and reliving them was torture. He knew what he was doing. 

Her parents fighting from her earliest moments, trying to muffle the screams with her small hands, their tension always growing as years went on, music blaring loudly in her room to isolate herself from her family, hiding behind her books. 

The expectations and the bar her parents set so high up she couldn't reach. 

Then came the loneliness and difficulties she went through making friends, the jealousy, the people pleasing in fear of being left alone, how she’s been harming herself on all levels and coping in unhealthy ways.

Every voice that spat venom at her face resurfaced, making her try to scream above those voices to make it all stop. 

She heard Nancy screaming at her to stop pushing her about Barbara, why she had so suddenly stopped trying looking for her, spitting at her that she had made the choice to be alone when Nancy had tried befriending her so it gave her no rights to be mad at her. Nancy had even gone so far as telling her that she deserved to be left alone.

Covering her ears with her hands wasn't working, she could still hear everything, she had retreated to her knees, her forehead and her arms touching the ground with her hands tightly put around her ears, she had completely turned into herself. 

Seconds turned into minutes, it went on with Steve, and the first fling before him. Both had hurt her in similar ways, and struck her self esteem lower than it already was. Hearing that boy say she was too much to handle, too needy, and nothing but a passable one night stand. Her first experience. Then Steve, how he had left her in her room, vacating her heart.

She hadn’t realised the tears that fell down, it’s when it had stopped that she noticed she was crying, she could still hear it, feel those words as if they were snakes crawling their way in under her skin.

She let out a breath of relief when she finally realised that silence surrounded her, the muscles in her arms aching, now all her body screamed for a chance to let go, that it’s had enough, and her mind agreed. 

She’s had enough.

She opened her eyes but her eyelids were heavy, when she looked around herself she didn't recognise where she was, her jeans and arms were wet from the grass and the mud, she was in the woods.

She completely sat down, turned her upper body around so she could take a glance at her surroundings, grass, trees, there was a form a few feet from her, but she could hardly see what it was, hidden behind the mist.

She got up, holding onto a tree next to her as her vision got blurry, she closed her eyes and tried to catch her breath, when she felt capable enough she walked towards the ambiguous form.

It was a handmade wooden castle, “Welcome all friends” and “Castle Byers” written on the front in yellow. She passed through the tarp, and a gasp left her mouth as soon as she saw him.

“So, this is where you're hiding,” a voice that resembled hers said, but it hadn't come from her own mouth, turning around she saw her alter ego leave as quickly as she came in. Turning inside the makeshift castle, she looked one last time at a very weakened, rotten and rotting body of Vecna, seemingly taking his very last breaths until the scenery floated away like a candle’s flame blown off.

Only the electrifying blue of his eyes seemed to be stuck a few moments later, until she was met with darkness and silence. Nothingness.

Steve waited, he waited for so long, her body had stopped convulsing just moments ago, he had left her when he was sure she was still breathing, ventured on the porch to see what was going on. He could hear from afar the screams of the creatures, but nothing from Nancy or the others.

Pocket knife in hand, he heard nothing that told him it wasn’t safe to go and he needed to get them away as fast as possible. So he tried his luck and went back inside to carry her downstairs, cautious on the steps, he put her down on the sofa and rushed to the windows in the hopes of finding Nancy walking back to them.

He did see and hear the occasional Demodog or Demobat roaming around, but nothing, he hesitated, could he risk it? Defenseless having to carry her, it would be suicide. 

Studying their neighbourhood, he hadn’t realised the noises that came from the couch, deep in his thoughts.

Until he heard her whisper his name, he rushed to her side, she was blinking away her confusion, he pulled up her shirt to look at the wound and the black veins were still there, they had retreated back though. Hope warmed his body.

He was about to rapidly explain to her what had gone and what they needed to do, but a violent shake broke through the earth, followed by the sound of something exploding.

Just a turn towards the sound and through the windows they saw bombs exploding, falling down like rain.

He rushed her up, with a strong grip around her waist he ran off outside through the back door that led to the edge of the woods.

Together they sprinted off away, successful to avoid any bombs, he heard some creatures following them but they were killed off easily as the hive mind worked its way until he brutally realised that she was part of it too as she fell unconscious on the ground.

Until the very end he would stay with her.

He doesn't realise when he falls unconscious too, he only knows that he’s an arm’s length from her.. as long as he dies alongside her..

There was nothing around her, not a sound, not a weird looking doppelganger, not Vecna to torment her.

Just, back at the starting point, with nothingness and an uncomfortable silence surrounding her. 

Her arms closed off, tight around her body to try and warm herself a bit, she kept walking around nothingness. 

She wondered if she was going to be stuck in there forever, does she want to go back to Steve? Does she want to go back at all? She truly didn’t know, she didn’t know if she had the choice, but if she had it, would she return back to Hawkins? 

She didn’t have time to ponder the question really, because she joined the darkness within, and shortly after, she was back in her unconscious body, lying on the ground, fire spreading as the US army was gaining ground in the Upside Down, with it, the bombing kept going, as it’s the only weapon they possessed that would work. 

Eradicate it all with fire— were the final words left from Dr Owens’s lips as he too, joined nothingness after being tortured for what felt like eternity, he had given nothing, not a single thing about Eleven or anything that he knew, except how to kill it. 

Bodies defenceless, they could only hope they would either survive together or die together. 

[stevefromupsidedown]

FAÇADE — Pt, seven : the spy and the spied • steve harrington x f!reader

synopsis: the Upside Down is uncharacteristically quiet, Hawkins on the other hand, isn't. Time for goodbyes. warnings: fem!reader with she/her pronouns, deaths, blood, gore and violence, references to mental health issues and low self esteem, very heavy on the angst, very little comfort, basically reader's the worst pessimist, very introspective, references to sexual themes, 18+ ONLY (overall warnings for the series, read at your own risk) This material is @takemetothelakes-poets’ property.

PT, EIGHT | SERIES MASTERLIST | CHAPTER PLAYLIST

The only thing he remembers as he awoke is the headache hurting the side of his skull, with the swift touch of his fingertips he felt cold, drying blood running along his temples. He mustn’t have been unconscious for long.

He struggled to sit up, he felt like his head was throbbing, he swore he could feel his heartbeat against his temples, his hands found themselves to be holding his head, his eyes tightly shut as he tried to let the dizzy spell go away. 

He looks around, and everything falls back into place, panic settles in his body, whispering to his ear like a devil on his shoulder. He was so ready to flee away, give a response to those snake whispers, then his eyes frantically fell on the one who made those anxious thoughts leave. 

He hurried next to her, a pretty big piece of beam blocked her upper body, levelled up on the side only so she wasn’t completely crushed, he didn't try touching it, scared that it could hurt her more if he wasn't careful. He decided on waking her, his eyes were hurrying on her body, trying to spot any wounds, but he couldn't see the blood dripping from her abdomen, hidden by the lack of light and her black long sleeve shirt.

Here goes nothing.. She was awakened by a pair of arms shaking her back to consciousness, a soft but urging whisper summoning her awake, the first thing she saw was Eddie’s widened dark eyes, the sky was hardly lighter than the first time she was awake, but she could see his figure, she wasn’t surrounded by miles of absolute darkness. 

His hands gripping her shoulders were moving toward the piece of beam, and as she looked down to his fingers, she remembered the pain that went with moving, she could feel the blood staining the layers of clothes she had, heavy rings of old, maroon blood, fresh darkened red blood, and that iron smell. 

Eddie was lifting and pushing the piece of beam that blocked her, as he levelled it up, she realised she wouldn’t have any other choice but to crawl sideways on her own, despite the wound and more importantly, the pain. 

She bit her lips as she started moving sideways, she didn’t want to make any sound but couldn’t help but welp in pain, uncontrolled pained whines leaving her lips as she felt strong flashes of pain radiating her upper body, along with more warm blood that created an overwhelming contrast with the rest of her body, she realised at that moment that she felt cold, she was freezing. 

Eddie let go of the beam and rushed to her side, even though it was dark, they could see just a tiny bit when the red lightning struck through the sky. 

They didn’t exchange any words, glances were enough, he knew he needed to be vigilant when his hand touched something sticky along the bottom of her long sleeve shirt, their eyes met. 

He looked, couldn’t see anything until the lightning revealed a piece of wood impaled in her lower abdomen, the size of a small kitchen knife’s handle, his eyes and his eyebrows widened in shock, she could see fear and panic settling on his face. 

It’s almost like she could hear his train of thoughts, like, “What am I gonna do if you die then and there?”

She tried putting his hands away to get up, trying to lean on her hands but she failed miserably to hide the pained groaned, “I’m fine, I just— Erh” 

“If you fucking tell me you’re fine when you’re clearly not, I’m gonna lose my cool. You’re obviously not fine and I don’t fucking know what to do.” 

“Neither do I Eddie, but we have to—” she paused as she flinched, she saw Eddie’s eyes, behind their strict browny shine, they reflected fear, he was afraid, his hands reaching her lower back and her arm, helping her sitting down, breathless, “—we need to find the others, and leave as soon as possible.” 

“How? You’ve got a piece of wood inside your abdomen ! You can’t move !” 

“We don’t know how bad it—”

“Oh my fucking God ! Are you fucking serious ?!,” He had raised his voice, and involuntarily, he had been given his location just by the strength of his voice to some demobats who had started roaming around the area, silent, hidden in the darkness.

His hand was about to raise up her shirt, curious and apprehensive of her wound, when he heard the most familiar shriek piercing through the sky, his head jerked so fast toward the sound, a red lightning struck at the right time, everything paused, he felt his body break out in a cold sweat, a chill running along his spine, goosebumps rising on his arms. 

His body had such a visceral reaction to seeing them flying towards them, not it, not one demobat, them, a wave of them just coming at them; his body jumped straight to panic mode. 

He turned towards her and rushed to get on his feet to pull her up, ignoring her pained pleas, he heard some movements along the edge of the forest next to them, and he voluntarily decided to ignore it, even though he had the worst intuition ever. 

With one hand tightly intertwined in hers, they started walking away, he could hear the wings flapping in the air towards them, he ignored her complaints, pained pleas, he tightened his hand intertwined with hers’, grabbing more of her wrist and started running. 

He couldn’t precisely see where they were headed, he only thought that perhaps if they went further into the forest, the bats couldn’t follow them and they didn’t. He counted on the lightning and the colour of the portals to see and know where to not go, but he didn’t think that maybe the portal had lost its colour, perhaps it gained its dormant colour back. 

Because he certainly didn’t see the ten feet portal they had just fallen into. 

No, he certainly didn’t see that coming.

What he remembers is the pain, that electric shot through his leg, the wobbling vision as he could taste the bile in the back of his throat. First thing he saw as he began seeing clearer was Dustin sitting next to him, his hurt leg completely extended. 

He looked around, a small torch was lit up, it was obscure but he could see where they were. Well, in where they seemed to be, he had heard about it through Dustin but he had never been inside Hopper’s cabin.       

“He’s up.” 

Nancy and.. Jonathan..?  approached him and that’s it, he thought. He was going crazy, he must have hit his head so hard he was seeing people that weren’t there, last he checked. 

“Jonathan?,” his voice surprised him, hoarse, like he was still asleep or unconscious, was he concussed or did he miss an important chapter in the train of events he seems to have missed. Yeah. 

“How do you feel? Does it hurt somewhere—” Dustin started, but he quickly got interrupted by Nancy, she gently put her hand on his shoulder, her look giving away perfectly what she meant. 

“Give him some time, okay? He just woke up, let him make sense of what happened, yeah?” 

He nodded, didn’t argue, his head turned to Steve, confused, who was looking at the three of them questionably.

“My leg hurts— what.. What happened? How did we get here? And Jonathan how did you—?” 

“He wasn’t alone,” a familiar voice behind the three young adults appeared. He knew who it was as he recognised it, but he couldn’t believe it.. He must have hit his head pretty badly to see Chief Hopper in front of him.. So this is how she felt when she stumbled upon the four of them in the Upside Down..

Does he remember Dustin telling something about Hopper being back from the dead? Nope, absolutely not. 

“Am I—” 

“Going crazy? No, you’re not. It’s a crazy story though.” He was approaching, the dimmed light of the torch wasn’t helping him much, but he could see a buzz cut and thinned version of Hopper he almost didn’t recognise. Only then, Steve realised that at the corner of the room were bodies, lying, and even before he could ask, Hopper followed his glance and quickly reassured him. 

“I managed to convince Joyce and the kids to take some rest. The lot there is quite stubborn,” he mainly showed Dustin just by looking at him, even if he included Nancy and Jonathan.

“The kids?” 

“Mike, El and Will.” 

So, no signs of her, Eddie, Max, Erica and Lucas. Fuck. 

Explaining everything again took quite some time, as they had to go through California, Russia and how they got back to Hawkins, and on Steve’s side, how they had managed to be separated from the others.

Hopper had gotten pretty lucky, his cabin being far and pretty small, it didn’t suffer much from the earthquakes, it got crowded pretty fast but it was a luxury. Turns out they had seen the events as it happened to them being so far and next to the hills that overlooked the city. 

Finding that shotgun wasn’t easy, but he had gotten so lucky because he fell upon an abandoned car whose truck was filled with power arms, ammo, military food packs, (which gave him flashbacks from Vietnam), all coming from the store The War Zone, he didn’t have to look around much to find the owner of the vehicle, its body lied with its head seriously maimed, half of it impossible to recognise. 

Hopper didn’t care about what happened to the driver, he didn’t need those anymore and they did, so. The principles of morals were blurred and made crossing the lines.. easily justified.

El definitely helped, she mainly stood ground around the cabin, making sure no one or anything tempted anything as they heard the demogorgons and the demobats. Dead remnants testified their attempts lied on the perimeter outside the cabin, for some reason —El was actually trying to put the pieces together, she had her suspicions— they seemed to know where she was, they could sense her, whereas it wasn’t the case before, blame it on Vecna / Henry / One. 

Steve’s leg still hurt, he had makeshift bandages around his ankle, it wasn’t sprained, surprisingly, but it definitely was maimed, he felt the same kind of pressure and tightness on the skin, he didn’t want to take a look at it, he doesn’t remember much from what happened, it was all so quick, all he remembers is a sudden and vivid pain on his ankle when the demogorgon tried to eat him alive. He hopes so dearly that she didn’t succumb to a terrible death. His thoughts can’t stop returning back to her, in an never-ending loop of worry and what ifs.

They all gather their stuff, get their weapons (shotguns, makeshift spears, knives) and start to wander as one block through the woods.  Their goal wasn’t really specified, even though their mutual understanding was finding the missing ones, based on the little information they had, they needed to head to the Hospital, where Lucas and Erica were known to have been last, visiting Max. 

As quietly as possible they walked towards the town, Hopper and Nancy led the walk, shotguns in hands, El stood in the back of the group with Jonathan and Mike who held Steve’s and Nancy’s makeshift spears. Steve, Will and Dustin were in the middle with knives and his crutches.

Earlier they had argued that going as a one block group wasn’t a good idea, as their number was too great to wander through the woods, but the counter argument was that having separate groups wasn’t the best idea either, so, here they were, marching slowly, all ears to any strange sounds, indicating any human on non-human activity.

They just didn’t expect to find so much demobats and demodogs.

They were smaller and feistier, and a fucking pain in the ass to get rid of, especially the bats, when they attacked it was by hordes and there were so many, they endured multiples attacks that day and by the time they saw the side of the hospital that stood still, they couldn’t believe it, they were exhausted, bruised, scratched, bloody.  

They arrived by the North and West Wing of the Hospital, where the building still stood, the rest of it was well.. Exactly how anyone would imagine a hospital full of in need people who underwent a catastrophe to look like, in ruins, bloody, maimed, disfigured bodies with their last emotion stuck forever on them, small fires, rubble absolutely everywhere. 

Images stuck in their brains, graphic enough to give them nightmares for decades, Hopper initiated the search for Max, Lucas and Erica, with the help of Dustin and Steve’s indications on where her room was, immediately, the former sheriff had no wish of finding them, because if they did, there was no way they would still be alive, and if they survived the fall of the building, they certainly didn’t survive the creatures wandering and eating off the remnants bodies. 

Bloody paws and trails of bodies being dragged on the asphalt, bites and visible marks of chewed human meat bore witness as to what and how it happened. The more Steve walked through the sea of disfigured and dismembered bodies, the more he grew nauseous, his stomach jolting and switching at the smell and the scene they had walked into. 

They looked for what felt like hours, it’s Dustin, next to Steve who fell into a long haired redhead, they looked at each other, and tried to spot anyone that could look like Erica or Lucas.. Until they found Erica’s purple blazer, a cuss word left Steve’s lips, truth be told, he had expected it, but it still hurt to know that he wasn’t there to help them, they died alone, they suffered, and judging by the amount of blood and the terror and pain stuck on their face, they were taken by surprise. 

He hated it. He had swore to protect those kids back a few years ago when it didn’t feel so.. murderous. 

He hated it all so much. 

Hopper and Jonathan were the ones to take their bodies to someplace calm, it was engraved deep in their brain, Steve needed to feel useful so he started scavenging the rubble, in search of anything that could be useful to them. Dustin felt lightheaded, he felt his enormous emptiness numbing everything in him. 

He couldn’t cry, he was in shock, he left Steve to sit on the asphalt, eyes lost in nothingness. 

Mike and Will.. Mike was in denial, busying himself to do like Steve, refusing to believe he had lost two of his best friends and Erica, avoidant of it all. Will.. was plagued with guilt, in complete shock. And El was the most expressive one, the most in tune with her emotions, kneeled on the asphalt she was crying, also in the grip of guilt, to some extent this was all her fault, she kept thinking. 

The quietness was abruptly stopped by gunshots, everyone stopped in their tracks, closing up their backpacks, retrieving quickly whatever they needed and reunited near the edge of the forest. Enlightened shadows started to appear, they had a torch with them, Hopper could only assume they were trying to use gunshots to attract Demogorgons and Demobats their way. 

That or they didn’t know that blood and hearing were the ways to lure the creatures, it seemed difficult to believe, either way, both threats at the same time was the definition of Hell on earth so they needed to disappear as soon as possible. 

Trying to escape an armed to the teeth group of murdering people and creatures of the Upside Down as a group of nine survivors with hurt people, who, despite them, were slowing everyone in the group’s quest to survive, it wasn’t easy, to say the least. It feels like Hopper carries the weight of the world on his shoulders, like this never ending curse. Atlas.

Steve felt like he was trapped in a guilt trip, Dustin was tormented, the optimistic and spiteful kid had left behind a shadow of pessimism and silence. He knew he was slowing everyone, they were doomed so they were better off dead. Similar thoughts plagued Will’s mind as he began second guessing every choice ever made since November 1983. What even was the point of fighting it all when it led to this much grief and pain ? 

In their attempt to escape the dangers quietly and quickly, they were surprised by the group’s rapidity, Dustin had to abandon his crutches on the ground and let Mike and Will grab him around his waist to run faster. 

Steve began to struggle going any faster, the pain he felt was forbidding him to go any faster but Jonathan saw him struggle and let him lean on him a little as he passed an arm around his shoulders, they weren’t exactly running but they were faster than Steve was. Hopper was upfront with Joyce, as Nancy closed the group with El, all three of them armed as the four of them checked the weaker ones and ensured their safety. 

Hurried footsteps came from behind them, everytime they would turn their heads to look they would see the torch’s light getting closer, screaming towards their direction made tension and panic only grow bigger in the group. 

It was difficult for Hopper to see where they headed as panic settled in his body, he could see from afar pieces of the portal so he sort of knew what to avoid, but behind him Dustin couldn’t maintain the pace, Will stopped abruptly, which made Mike stop, looking at Will, his gaze stuck on something feet away from where his mother stood. 

“Mom, stop running!” 

“Will, they’re coming, we need to keep running!,” Mike implored, trying to get Will’s attention by screaming his name but it only intensified everyone’s fear and panic. 

“No—MOM!,” Will’s piercing voice broke through the woods as he watched his mother and Hopper fall, headfirst, into a colourless, dormant segment of the portal, “MOM!” 

He left Mike and Dustin to run towards where they had just fallen off. 

Voices got louder and from where he stood, Mike could see the men starting to arrive towards them. 

“We have to get going, let’s go!” As he was about to take Dustin with him, the most shrill shriek pierced through the woods, the worst was the sound came upfront, there was no way to know how far the Demogorgon was but he was definitely on his way. It only stopped the hunters in their tracks a few minutes, looking at each other dumbstruck. 

Mike used their latency to run off with Dustin towards the portal, their only way to escape, everyone followed them, the silent decision to not get separated was unanimous, so, one by one they all let themselves fall into the dormant portal, watched by pairs of unsure eyes. 

All Steve could remember from the fall is the goosebumps, and the coldness. They were all apprehensive of what the Upside Down had in stock for them, even if they were familiar with it by now, it still was a very unpleasant place to go through. 

As for Will, he had the worst intuitions, having been on Vecna’s side for some time, having felt his darkest intentions, how The Mind Flayer infiltrated his brain and would unturn every corner to find exploitable traumas, even when he was ‘dormant’ he would know when it would hunt, when it was active. 

What scared him the most is that he could feel the Mind Flayer was active, and hunting. 

Most probably for himself, he feared, but if it wasn’t just the Mind Flayer he could sense the presence and intentions of, now that he knows Vecna was behind it all. 

He pondered, was it Vecna, or the The Mind Flayer he could sense hunting right now? 

How could he be so sure that everything he was living wasn’t just some way to trick him? To make him spy again? How could he be so sure that he wasn’t being used by Vecna? Would he be able to detach its hold on him like he once did in 1984? For some reason, he wasn’t so sure about that.

The coldness and the darkness hit her like a truck as she gained consciousness. Each breath she exhaled was accompanied by steam, her skin felt the struck of pins and needles the coldness of the place brought. 

She remained immobile, her hand tentatively going through her lower abdomen, surely enough, the wooden piece was still very much impaled in her flesh, she recognised that pain. 

A new sensation arrived shortly after, the side of her head hurt, the one she fell on the ground during her fall to the Upside Down. 

She was half thankful that she couldn’t see anything because she was pretty sure the moist on her fingertips brushing through the side of her temple was blood, she sighed, defeated. 

Her body and brain were hardwired in panic and chaos and violence, she didn’t react. She tried sitting, it took more time than she would like to admit, and God did it hurt, but with a few breathers, her nails digging deeper into her flesh she managed to sit up.

It was strangely calm and quiet, the occasional red lightning struck that provided light and the sound from afar but other than that, not a sound around, she didn’t recognise where she was, yet, but she recognised a black and curly mop of hair, then his leather jacket. 

His back fronted her, she couldn’t see if he was breathing or not, only his immobile body.

“Eddie!,” she whispered first, unsure if she could speak aloud or not, and based on where she was, she really didn’t want to let any creature know that she was there, but she wasn’t exactly discreet, the blood was enough to let them know she was there in the first place..

She murmured his name again and again, with each minute that he didn’t wake made her worry more and more, it made her start crawling to him, ignoring all the pleas her body and brain screamed at her to stop, the pain erupted from everywhere, bombing, court circuiting her nerves. 

She swears she could hear her heartbeat grow louder in anticipation. He couldn’t be dead. 

He. Couldn’t. Be. Dead. 

As soon as she arrived close to him her hands grabbed his arm and she made him turn on his back, her fingers touching an artery around his throat to feel a pulse. She couldn’t tell if she felt hers’ first, beating so strongly in fear, until she caught him breathing, quietly she shook his arms, and surely enough he opened his eyes. 

“Jesus Fucking Christ Eddie! Don’t do that to me ever again! What would I do if you died?! Did you think about that?!” 

Her hand naturally switched to his cheek and she began crying in relief, her fingers holding onto his arm. 

“We’re quits now, see how’s it feel'?,” he nearly laughed, his voice coarse, trying to sit up, his face scrunched up in pain, “What a pair we make, huh?,” he paused, his head spinning a bit at the effort, his eyes closed in order to stop the spinning, and to empty his stomach. 

Her hand on his arm moved to take his, their fingers intertwined, her touch brought a sense of reality and he opened his eyes and turned to look at her, he could only see her watery eyes reflecting by the lightning afar, “ ‘You okay?”

“I’m alive, it’s enough.” He nodded, he successfully rose up from the ground, tightly attaching their arms together to help her up, his arm wrapped around her waist to balance her as they started walking in the woods, vigilant to avoid any vines they could see. 

They quietly elaborated a plan to try to get closer to the edge of the town, from there they would try to reorient themselves to the town centre, and relive the days she had spent a couple days ago on her own, trying to survive, and perhaps find a way out if there was one. 

The quietness was so surreal it made them feel as if something were to happen at any given moment, they were walking, slowly, quietly, on edge, waiting for any sound or the earth to fall under their feet yet again. 

They slowly made their way towards the city, discovering —or rediscovering for some— the Upside Down and the town, covered in vines and the earth completely shattered to give space to the gates. Now, it was a way out, but would they really survive another fall in there with their concussions and the piece of wood she has impaled in her abdomen that they can’t remove or she’ll bleed to death? 

They were stuck, with no way out, no safer way out, no options seemed better than the others. 

On the farthest side of town Will was the first one to awaken, with a terrible headache, some blood running along his temple, he felt cold, his mind still a bit groggy. 

He looked around, seeing his friends and parents on the ground, unconscious, but he didn’t panic to see them all still laying on the asphalt, he just.. stood there, sitting, confused and woozy. 

He sighed, having realised what had happened and where he was, he didn’t want to believe it, his head turned to the side as he heard some noise, the red lightning struck there too, it enlightened the Mind Flayer from afar. It was out of his reach, but he felt like it knew that he was there too. It was active, and even though it was completely immobile and overlooking the city from afar, it sent goosebumps throughout Will’s body. 

Its head slowly turned towards him, and Will felt paralysingly cold, his eyes widened, his fists closed so tightly his fingernails dug in his flesh. It definitely knew. 

Making as little sound as possible, they rummaged through the same grocery store she had stumbled into days prior, and surely they found packaged goods and bottled water, Eddie didn’t understand how it could still be okay to consume those even though they were in the Upside Down, but it smelled and looked fine, so.. He still ate it, but was confused as hell. 

She was the first one who went to rest, Eddie stayed awake and stood at the entrance of the shop, hidden behind the curtains, aware of any strange sounds, or sightings, but he was only troubled by what they had called the Mind Flayer, his gargantuan sombre figure only appeared when lightning struck. 

As she slept, he saw its head temporarily move towards a side of the town, only to take its original position back minutes later, overlooking the city from afar, just so stoic, it was chiling. 

Everything was so quiet, too quiet, there were fewer creatures than he expected, something was happening, he was sure of it, but not knowing, and being harmless and weak was the worst combination ever to even try to survive or escape the Upside Down. He stayed for what felt like hours, occasionally checking on her, and discovered she was a bit too warm for his liking. 

He didn’t wake her up, she was in worse shape than he was and she needed to rest, but he started panicking about her condition. They had no way of getting out while making sure they could and in good or no worse shape than they were. 

That’s when it really daunted him, the reality of the situation and their fates was so violent he could hardly fathom it, being imprisoned in this way.. How could it have gone so wrong so fast? Mere hours (or days?) ago they were at her house getting ready to testify and see Max at the hospital, and now they were stuck in the Upside Down, dying, with no way to reach anyone, in no capability to fight for their survival. 

They were doomed. 

“We’re so screwed,” he whispered so effortlessly, a long sigh of defeat followed as he sat back toward the entrance and kept watching, what he expected least always seems to happen so he tried to stay alert, he didn't know how long he had dozed off. 

He woke up to the sound of some ruffling outside, he slightly moved the curtain to see a Demodog outside, rummaging through rubble and garbage. 

He didn’t know what to do, he simply stared at it, until he saw it walking away. He rushed towards her, he was no doctor but he was pretty sure she was burning up with a fever, her skin was warmer, moist in cold sweat. 

He had no choice but to ignore it, he simply woke her up, he didn’t ask her how she felt, he made sure to give her enough water and food and together they went off, he explained her he saw a creature lingering and he didn’t feel confident about staying there and that maybe his trailer still had the portal on the ceiling, it could be a way out. 

Her brain so clouded, so groggy, she didn’t question him, she blindly followed, she was so out of it she hadn’t realised Eddie has sped up a bit, he kept looking behind them, holding her tightly to him, he was surprised once before, which had led them here. 

Out of nowhere Eddie was pulled outwardly by a Demobat’s tail rolling around his ankle, she lost her balance and fell just as more of their tails rolled around his throat and wrists, dragged him on his back, his leather jacket thinning on his back, his skin scorched by the asphalt. 

He was attacked from all sides, more approached, there was nothing they could do, he couldn’t defend himself and she was so weak and in a bad shape she struggled to stand up, and with the last bits of adrenaline her body had to offer she took a bough, and ventured towards him, moving the branch from side to side to disperse the Demobats, shouting at them for as long as she could, until they were all gone.

She collapsed next to him, he was choking on his own blood, with bites and scratches all over his body, he was bleeding everywhere, his hand looking for her she gripped it tightly, the tears’ gate were open, falling freely on her cheeks. 

He was trying to tighten his hold on her but he struggled, she tried her hardest to sit up so he could see her, breathless, turning pale. He struggled so much to catch his breath to speak, but his body was failing him, so his eyes didn’t leave hers’, his fingers turning white at how tightly he held her hands, “I.. I.. lo—” . . . 

Silence.

Then a gut wrenching scream left her mouth and echoed through the forest, his name repeated again and again in hopes to see him move his eyes, to hold her hand, to smile, to do something, to say something, anything! 

The vitreous aspect of his brown eyes, as if they had lost their light, was imprinted in her brain. 

She was choking on her own tears, her forehead falling on his chest, their hands still intertwined, she was pouring down her tears, her mouth wide open, gasping for air. Not a sound left her lips, eyes shut close, tremors running along her body.

His blood on her hands and face, still warm.. It hurts.. so much. It hurts so fucking much it’s unutterable. Unimaginable. 

Her body had no more tears to cry, she was sat next to him, their hands intertwined, his hand colder, she was freezing, from his body getting colder, the temperature of the Upside Down, not moving, one thing she was sure of is she was heartbroken, completely shattered. Her chest hollowed.

She had failed her promise so badly, and now she was alone, her eyes completely lost somewhere in front of her, her brain wasn't processing what had happened, she was just stuck in her position, muscles frozen, paralysed on the freezing cold asphalt.

It was so dark she could barely fathom what was around her, it’s only when the red lighting struck, she could see bits of his face—covered in dried blood, scratches, bites.. lifeless. Glassy brown eyes, lips pale, she couldn't see that yet but his fingers and lips had started to turn a pale shade of blue. Lifeless. 

She could no longer see the very faint movement of his abdomen, he had stopped breathing, his heart had stopped beating, there was nothing she could do. No-one to help her. She was in no better shape and at this point she was just too easy to kill for them. 

She felt a wave of coldness going through her, goosebumps rising along her body, as if it already knew a new threat was coming, death on its way, reaping her would be so easy, she looked up slowly.

Red lighting shot through the sky and her body instantly went colder, frigid in its movements, her eyes widened as the six legged shadow had drastically gone closer to them, no —her.  So close that when her eye level went down she could see the end of one of its’ arms, it was clearly coming at her, no —for her. 

She didn't even have the time to think of anything because it was there. Two of its arms. She only looked up, her eyes meeting with the shadowy face of the creature— and she didn't fight, only provoked it to come at her in anger, shouting in rage was her only last weapon.

[stevefromupsidedown]

FAÇADE — Pt, eight : the battle of Hawkins • steve harrington x f!reader

synopsis: Steve will do anything to be alongside her, even in death. warnings: fem!reader with she/her pronouns, deaths, blood, gore and violence, references to mental health issues and low self esteem, very heavy on the angst, very little comfort, basically reader's the worst pessimist, very introspective, references to sexual themes, 18+ ONLY (overall warnings for the series, read at your own risk) This material falls under @takemetothelakes-poets’ property.

PT, NINE | SERIES MASTERLIST | CHAPTER PLAYLIST

The Upside Down was strangely quiet, there was not a particular direction set for them, finding a good enough place to hide and rest was their only goal for now. 

The group of hunters didn’t follow them, they probably thought they were maniacs for going into the gates, which… you know, perspectives. 

Not a sound was shared within the group, they had all gained back consciousness to Will’s voice waking them, throbbing headaches, nausea, more bruises and scratches, only the common goal to find someplace safe enough to rest. 

They walked through the woods for a bit, without knowing how much time had passed or what time or day it was, lost in darkness with only the red lightning shooting through the dark sky, and lost in time as Hawkins was lost in 83’ and with no sunlight nor moonlight to guide them. 

Marching along demolished houses, Hopper’s guess was to keep going until they got close enough to Hawkins’ centre; the closer the buildings were to the edge of the forest, the safer they were. 

“I know someplace, not far from here, Bradley’s Big Guy, down Center Street, there’s food and bottled water, it’s safe,” Will paused, waiting for an answer as everyone had stopped and turned to look at him, confused at the piece of information. 

“If it’s not destroyed, I could—”

“No,” Hopper interrupted, frowning, stoic and quite uncomfortable that a teenager would provide for them, he was the adult, he had to be the guardian.. didn’t he? “No. No one goes out anywhere alone, and how do you know that, kid?”

Will repositioned his hand around Dustin’s waist to get a firmer grip, finding himself quite embarrassed, “It’s.. it’s how I survived the first time around..” he added in a low voice, watching Hopper’s face turn into shame.. The realisation felt like a slap on the face, those kids have been surviving for years, and as of lately, without him, those kids have been going through this for four years now, they weren’t helpless nor incapable. They grew up on this, with this.

“Right.. It’s a good idea Will. We’ll go later, we have enough food for today, we need to find somewhere to rest first.” 

They kept on walking the length of the street, until they found a house, they had a direct access to the forest as it was on the edge, and Bradley’s Big Guy was about one block away, the library and police station were about three blocks away, so they were pretty close to the centre without catching anyone or anything’s attention. 

The house was a perfectly fine place to crash given the situation, they ate in silence, and used baby wipes to try and clean themselves a little bit, they emptied the packs of baby wipes given their number, and silently said their farewell to having proper hygiene. 

They decided on who takes watch first, and quickly everyone walked upstairs except Steve and Nancy who both covered the front and back doors. 

Steve had absolutely no desire nor the capability to fall asleep after the events of the previous days.

The Upside Down was uncharacteristically quiet, Steve had taken a barstool to take breaks standing up, watching through the windows, hidden by the curtain, there were no creatures, except Demobats he had seen fly after some time but it was very calm otherwise, which felt just worse. 

Moving a bit in the kitchen’s windows he saw the familiar shadowy form of the Mind Flayer’s head, far from there, it looked right in their direction but it was so stoic. 

Steve had goosebumps just observing it doing nothing but knowing he was watched, made him feel terrible. The powerlessness that came with that fact was like the weight of the sky on his shoulders. 

In need of a break he made his way to Nancy and discovered her in the living room, sitting on the sofa’s headrest, she turned her head when she heard him move, he sat down on the stairs’ first steps, sighing lightly. 

“Did you see anything?”

He shook his head, his fingers playing with the hem of his long sleeve shirt, “No, Demobats some time ago, and the Mind Flayer’s creepy head, but no, it’s.. It’s strangely quiet, don’t you think?” 

“It’s weird, yeah, we’re accustomed to more violence and attacks from the Upside Down, which only makes me wonder, how terrible is it gonna be when it comes?” 

He agreed, his head shaking, humming a little bit, giving thoughts to what she said, she was right, she had vocalised his worries, but Steve was quieter than usual, more.. kept together, which didn’t look like him to Nancy, and she couldn’t be more wrong. 

He absolutely wasn’t kept together, his train of thoughts had naturally derived to her and Eddie and he couldn’t stop worrying about them, “Do you think we’ll find them?” 

Now she could see through his worry, it’s almost like she didn’t recognise that side of him, he had changed so much, in the best way and she had failed to see that, but she stopped her thoughts from diving in dangerous territories and turned her body to face him. 

Steve’s lover’s name fell from her lips and his body had a visceral feeling, a longing so deep from his soul like he was lost without her, and he was, but Nancy continued, “She survived for a few days on her own without any knowledge of the Upside Down. I’m sure they’ll be okay, I’m only hoping we’ll find them quickly and soon.” 

His eyebrows furrowed, his frame turning more to her, “Do yo—,” he started but was cut off by screams echoing in the darkness, coming from one block away maximum, she turned around and Steve rushed to her side to try and catch a glance. 

The buildings and houses covered the entirety of it and they couldn’t see anything, the screams kept on going until Nancy gasped louder than she had intended to let out and Steve wanted to ask what until he saw. 

The Mind Flayer had gotten drastically closer to them, the swarm of Demobats left and the cries and screams quieted down, under their very frightened eyes and paralysed bodies by fear they watched as the Mind Flayer arrived closer and closer, with one singular, strident scream, the shadowy creature moved its two arms on the front and it being so gargantuan it moved at incredible speed to join the opposite side of town, overlooking the Upside Down once again. 

Steve and Nancy looked at each other, dumbstruck, unsure if they hallucinated what they just witnessed. 

They rushed to wake up everyone upstairs to explain what just happened only to find Will sitting on the floor, his head in his hands, the rest of the group around him. 

“What’s happening?,” 

“The Mind Flayer.. Those screams.. Please tell me I wasn’t hallucinating,” Will spoke directly to Nancy, his eyes red and wet, 

“You guys heard those too?” 

“‘T was pretty hard to miss. Will woke us up, saying that the Mind Flayer was coming, that he was hunting, he was.. he talked so fast, we couldn’t understand anything else,” Hopper calmly said, his eyes attentive to Will. 

Nancy explained them what they had witnessed, meanwhile Steve was deep in his thoughts, he had a feeling he knew who were attacked, he wanted to be wrong of course, but he couldn’t ignore his instinct, the voice behind the screams was so similar to him, “We have to go see if we can help whoever’s out there,” his voice broke through, everyone turned to him, either shocked or confused.

“We could get killed, are you insane?!” Jonathan was the first one to answer, he was equally as confused as everyone else but he grew tired of the situation, it seemed to be a never-ending situation where they continuously got hurt, followed, nearly killed.

Steve felt uneasy as soon as he heard him, and.. he was quite angry too, “We could get killed at any moment by being here, if it were you, wouldn’t you want to be given help if you were still alive? If it were Will? Nancy? We wouldn’t be talking about it, we would already be doing it, Jonathan,” Steve paused, he hadn’t felt so much anger towards Jonathan in years, and it seemed he was completely lashing out his anger.. And his truth. 

He hadn’t said anything to both Jonathan and Nancy when she had gone to him to be their own couple while they hadn’t officially put an end to their relationship, he felt cheated on but said nothing, and even having moved on from them, he hated it all. He hated still having to deal with this with them because Jonathan or Nancy would decide if something would have meaning or be accepted without a single thought back, while Steve has been considered the stupid and irresponsible one everywhere he stepped, he was immensely aware of that and he had enough. 

He took a step closer to Jonathan, who stood next to Nancy, 

“Your mother would be screaming both of your names without a care in the world that it would pinpoint all the creatures to us and we would be prey served on a silver platter, but you’re right, let’s not go help someone in need even if we’re in deep shit ourselves, let’s be so selfish we might stay here and rot and wait for either creatures to come find and kill us all. After all, you’ve always been one to disregard one’s feelings and trust your most selfish instinct isn’t that correct? You two are made for each other,” Steve finished, his words spitting venom that shocked everyone, but his head turned to Nancy, his glance never leaving hers’ with the most serious and warning look imprinted in his pupils. 

He left the room, leaving the room confused as to why would he lash out like that, and mostly, how it didn’t look like him at all, except Nancy, she felt like she was a deer caught by headlights, and she knew very well what he was referring to, Jonathan didn’t quite understand what it meant, he played it off as everyone was tired and irritable.

Being in such a large group and living a nightmarish situation, it was bound to create tension between tired, irritable and hurt people, but out of everyone, he didn’t expect Steve to be one of those as he always thought of him as.. small-minded and, well, idiotic. Jonathan’s opinion hadn’t changed from high-school which made him as narrow-minded as Steve believed him to be. 

They heard the front door closing shut and it sort of awaken everyone as they realised Steve had left, with a strangeness in their eyes, Hopper and Joyce left the floor and were quick on their feet to follow him, the kids copied the adults, the couple was left in the room, looking at each other, dumbfounded. 

Reluctantly, they followed the rest of the group until there was no one left. 

Steve was trying to pinpoint the exact location, upon the road he was only met with fractured asphalt and vines, the store was what he found first, he was about to step inside when he heard Hopper’s stopping him, asking him to wait for them, “We leave no one behind, got it?” 

He nodded, only half heartedly, Steve knew that he wouldn’t be much of a priority to anyone, and there was no point sugarcoating it, it was a fact and he was aware of it. His closest and best friend Robin was dead so he had no one close enough for it, except Eddie and her, if he managed to find them, and he had an intuition telling him he wasn’t far from them. That gave him enough of a motivation and will to act on it. 

Dustin was in between Mike and Will as they seemed to be his designated human crutches, but they didn’t mind; the three of them were somewhat content to have each other, Steve waited for them, and stepped after, not bothering to wait for Nancy and Joanthan from afar. 

They scavenged whatever they could find, whether it was food —Hopper didn’t trust canned food from the Upside Down, he wouldn’t be able to explain why, but he didn’t so they settled for packaged food in see through plastic— and absolutely anything that could be useful to make weapons or first aid kits. 

Leaving his aisle, small flashlight in hand —Hopper had given them when they had left his cabin, Steve had completely forgotten he had it as he had escaped death a million times before and using a flashlight didn’t seem smart— Steve had gone to the back of the aisle to search again until he found droplets of dried, marooned blood on the ground. 

His curiosity piqued, he followed it, it lead to the back, the workers’ only area, the clear glass doors intact and dirtied with numerous things including dried blood, it lead to a corridor with the back entrance and another room, no doors, it seemed to be used as a storage space and break room. 

He entered the latter as he followed the trail of blood, piles of clothes and cloths to make what seemed like a makeshift mattress, also bloodied, but it was fresher, it looked a bit sticky, coagulated, and didn’t look like the trail, or at least there were two different trails of blood. 

He sighed, he retraced his steps and decided on following down the corridor and exited through the back door, as he did so, Dustin had realised he had gone off and terribly wanted to follow him, he asked Mike to provide him with broomsticks and rubber, he fabricated crutches quickly and was able to follow Steve through the corridor, Mike and Will on his heels. 

They walked for only a few feet when they saw two people on the ground, one lying on his back, the other on the side, unfortunately, they could see who it was, Eddie’s hair was recognisable from that distance, they’ve all stopped in their tracks. 

Steve’s heart stopped, his legs were glued on the asphalt. His heartbeat suddenly grew louder in his ears, time had stopped. The world around him was crumbling down upon him and he was left powerless. 

No. No. No, no no, no, no, no. It can’t be..

Please, for the love of God, No. 

Dustin’s voice broke him out from his paralysis, the poor teenager was next to Eddie, and for a second, it’s like they were reliving the same scene, days prior.

Dustin was crying out, hands tightly gripped to Eddie’s leather jacket, his cheeks and his eyes drowning in his tears, he was very vocal, just uncontrollable sob after another. 

He approached, cautiously as his knees were weakening, step after step it hit him more and more. 

Arriving at Dustin's level, his eyes first laid on Eddie, there was absolutely no doubt that he was dead, the amount of blood he had around him was.. deeply concerning. Pale lips, skin, the rigidness in his limbs, the emptiness in his eyes.. The pool of blood around him and on him..  it didn’t lie. 

His eyes fell upon her hands tightly intertwined in his, and from this moment it felt like an out of body experience. He crouched down next to Dustin, brought a trembling hand towards Eddie’s jaw, around where his jugular should be, an unsettling chill ran down his body when his fingertips touched coldness and rigid skin, he didn’t say anything, he only closed his eyes, his hand briefly touching his back to let him know he was there, and left Dustin to crouch next to her. 

Same trembling hand touched around her neck and he was shaken by a violent wave of hope, he could sense a fragile pulse, her skin was warmer and not as stiff, he lied her on her back, he was struck by the amount of blood she had on herself, some of it had to be Eddie’s, but he could see the difference between theirs, and immediately Steve tried looking for a wound, looking around her face, her neck, then his hands proceeded to lower his inspection, her cleavage then her arms, one side of her abdomen then the other and —Fuck! 

His eyes and brows widened in shock, fingertips soaked in blood, again, he didn’t know much, but he knew not to remove what was impaled in her lower abdomen. He completely fell on his knees, his eyes did double takes to her wound and her unresponsive face, he saw the faint rhythm of her stomach moving up and down, an immediate reaction of lo.. something struck him and his hands grabbed her cheeks, moving her face so she was facing him. 

His finger pads inspected her hair line as he felt scabs and he sensed many, small cuts, he could feel the inflamed skin under the bruises, her name fell from his lips like a never ending spell, conjuring her to open her eyes and talk to him. He longed to see the colour of her eyes and the sound of her voice, to see a tiny smile appear around the corner of her lips, it would appease his mind, pacify his every anxious thoughts. 

To Hopper approaching it sounded like a solemn prayer, he couldn’t quite see who was with Dustin and Steve until he was closer and he stopped in his tracks, he knew the Munson kid from afar as the sheriff he had had encounters with him, he had never been so strongly opinionated as the rest of town since he knew Eddie’s background, always let him go with a warning as he was himself not so.. uninfluenced.

As for her.. he did know her family, but not that well, he remembers seeing her here and there in town, walking home from high-school, ignoring the cars full of her classmates making fun of her as they drove, he remembers that; he also remembers not doing anything about it. Watching it happen. 

Joyce approached Hopper, who got closer to Mike and Will, the four of them felt powerless, and completely out of it as they saw Dustin’s never ending sobs and Steve’s tentative of waking her up, even if most of them didn’t really know who she was. 

Steve was panicking upon the facts that a. They were in the Upside Down, b. Eddie was dead, c. he felt the most gut wrenching guilt to have been with her, having had incredible moments with her as a couple when he knew that trying to find love would lead to this situation, he felt responsible for it, and he hated himself for it, she shouldn’t have gotten involved, she didn’t deserve all the pain, injuries it inflicted her. She didn’t deserve any of this and trying to get her to wake up, brought all of his guilt, shame, allowed it to weigh his chest more.

If she would die, he would be responsible, it would be his fault, and he would die to make up for it.

Hopper silently suggested that they bring her with them to a nearby house as they were too exposed, so he detached their fingers intertwined together and carried Eddie towards the woods, and tried his best to pay him the respect and rest he deserves, even in death. Steve insisted on carrying her even though his leg hurt from the additional weight he carried, it felt like he carried the remorse he felt, like he deserved it.

Mike had gone to Dustin to help him up, he gently walked him back to the group and they followed Steve to the house he was walking to. Will was fast to open the door and let everyone in, even if he wasn’t really sure what the plan was, but did anyone really know? 

Jonathan and Nancy had joined the group later and had discovered the scene, Steve’s arms circling under her knees and shoulders. Even if Jonathan had seen them holding hands as they arrived in Hawkins a few days prior, he could not stop thinking about how odd it was seeing them together. 

Nancy felt even more remorse over the entire situation, and over the fact that Jonathan had insinuated to abandon her when she was still alive and had a chance of surviving, even a small one, she felt like the worst friend ever. Jonathan recognised the mood change in her features and tried to hold her hand but she refused him, and with a glance he couldn’t recognise, she left ahead of him, catching up on the group, leaving him bereft.

Everyone followed Steve and Hopper as he walked straight for the living room, and lied her down to the closest couch, he didn’t really know what to do next, he wasn’t as skilled as her or Hopper, but he had watched her reanimate Eddie and tend to their wounds. 

Hopper saw the panic settled in in now knowing what to do and the what ifs, so he put a hand on his shoulder to get his attention, “There’s not much we can do, apart from cleaning the wound and until she wakes, her best shot is getting out of this place, kid.” 

He silently agreed, nodded, then proceeded to do as advised with the best they had while Hopper instructed the others to find rooms to rest in as he and Joyce would take the first watch. 

Everyone scattered away, Hopper settled on the stairs, his eyes on both the front door and the living room, silently watching Steve clean the wound in silence. They had managed to find antiseptic soap, it was the best he could do as he got rid of all the dried blood around the wound to discover the skin around to be quite stiff and the tiniest bit warmer. It wasn’t good and he hoped he was wrong by assuming it was getting infected. 

Every now and then he would steal a glance toward her face to search for any signs that she was waking up or uncomfortable, in pain. He understood how she was still alive, she was losing blood in such a slow and steady rhythm she still had chances to survive.. for now. 

He observed her stomach rising and falling as she breathed, kneeled on the ground next to her, Hopper recognised that devotion, he sincerely hoped they would find a way quickly enough to get them both, as far as he knew, they deserved to get out and get their lives back far away from Hawkins, in them he saw younger Joyce and himself, back in high-school, flirting in the corridors, before he left for Vietnam.

Steve lowered his head, he hadn’t expected to be crying, the tears falling freely and soundlessly, the fear of losing her setting so deeply in his bones like never before, he couldn’t resist it, nor stop it.

His hands held on hers’ tightly, intertwined their fingers. 

He brought the back of her hand to his lips, chaste pecks on her skin, closed eyes, tears getting caught on her knuckles. “You can’t leave me, please, please, wake up. I don’t know what I’m gonna do if you don’t.” 

Her name fell from his lips like a plea, like a prayer. His whispers were so low he was barely able to listen to himself. He kept pleading silently until he had no tears left to cry, under Hopper’s very discreet eyes. 

He keeped one of her hands as he used his backpacks like a pillow, their intertwined hand close to him as he fell asleep out of complete exhaustion, into pure darkness. 

A detail none has seen yet due to the important lack of light and the general sense of panic and survival, is that through her shut tight eyelids, one should be able to see her eyes flutter endlessly under the lids, the same way Max had when Vecna was infiltrating her mind. 

She opened her eyes and she was surrounded by complete darkness, alone, so soundless it felt deeply unsettling. She looked around, it was just darkness beyond sight, not a sound, only some light where she stood and it seemed to follow her, she didn’t understand. 

Expecting pain as she walked but she didn’t feel any, so she looked down at her body, to her surprise, she looked as if she hadn’t gone through literal Hell. Not even a hint of blood, or inflamed and tugging skin around the bruises and wounds, she didn’t have the small piece of wood impaled in her abdomen, her clothes were intact, clean.

Her long sleeve shirt was in one piece, as if she didn’t have a thousand cuts all over her body from the running, falling and trying to survive to monsters. It didn’t match real life, so she wondered, quietly but in confusion, 

“Am I dead? Is this.. Is this what death looks like?” 

Thinking of death, “Eddie? Are you there?” 

She was answered with silence, only her own voice and its echo fading through the darkness. 

“I don’t understand. I’m not supposed to be stuck here, am I? What’s this?,” She thought out loud, and as she realised that she may be stuck here with no way out for eternity, she felt her heartbeat moving higher against her thorax, her hands turned into fists.

The panic in her body turned a dial up as she heard footsteps coming towards her, and turning around, she was met with eyes the same colour as hers’. 

Goosebumps travelled along her body as her eyes and brows widened in shock, she was stuck in her movements, paralysed like. 

The body moving to her had gotten closer, facing her completely, she looked at her own reflection, same height, same hair texture and colour, body type, clothes, except, her look alike had the appearance of someone who tried to survive the Upside Down for a couple of days.

Her hair was unravelled, some strands stuck in dirt and clumps of blood, her skin and clothes underwent the struggles of her misadventure, cuts through her legs, torso, arms and face. The small piece of wood or whatever it was, impaled in the low side of her abdomen, she couldn’t see them, but she knew where the bruises were and how tensed and pained her skin around those wounds were. This was—is— her. 

She stood in front of her reflection, but it wasn’t motionless, she had walked, she was blinking, looking at herself, a smirk pulling on her lips.

Minutes passed as she needed to compose herself, she wanted to flee so badly but she knew she couldn’t even though she didn’t understand what was happening. 

In one desperate move she looked down at her hands, the bottom of her jeans, it was then that she saw her misadventure in the Upside Down on herself, the cuts, on the skin, through the clothes, the aches in her body from all the running, the bruises, the pain came back like she was struck by lightning and when she looked up, her alter ego had disappeared, she was alone. 

Her muscles suddenly ached, she felt everything just like when she was kneeled next to Eddie.. Her body is screaming so loudly that everything just hurts and it’s insufferable. 

She was in complete solitude, tiniest bit of light around her whenever she moved, with nothing but a disturbing silence as a companion, and the longest corridor filled with darkness.

Steve was shaken awake by a strong pair of arms, accompanied by Hopper’s voice to summon him awake, he didn’t understand anything at first, his mind so groggy he felt like he was drunk, then, what Hopper told him jolted him awake, “She’s awake, kid.” 

He immediately sat up and turned to her, inspecting her in anticipation. She remained lying down on the couch he had put her in, blinking away her confusion, he was eager, desperate, to hear from her, he squeezed the hand intertwined with hers’, it got her attention and she turned her head to him, a frown appearing on her brows. 

Submerged by two existing identities —hers’ and the Mind Flayer— she struggled to recognise the place and the people surrounding her, and Steve seemed to understand it as the confusion didn’t part from her face, looking at the three faces in front of her, Hopper, Joyce and Steve’s. 

The two adults didn’t know her enough to know that it was unusual, maybe she had fallen on her head multiple times and she was concussed, or the multiple injuries plus the emotional struggle of it all could lead to some kind of amnesia but Steve knew better, or, suspected better, he chose to put it aside and not bring it up now. 

She asked where she was, what was happening, she didn’t seem to remember anything it’s only when Steve recalled the weeks past events’ she seemed to remember some, then it clicked for Joyce, this kind of amnesia, the hesitancy, the stress in remembering past and present events, she knows it well because she’s seen it in Will back at the lab, when the Mind Flayer launched an attack, using him as a spy. 

The similarities were so strong, it felt like déjà-vu. 

From the deepest corners in her mind that the Mind Flayer has infiltrated she had access to everything the creature wanted her to see and know, instructing her with one task, but she didn’t know what it was. 

It felt like going into a room without knowing why she came there. 

Sat side by side on the sofa, Steve couldn’t stop keeping his eyes on her. He knew something was off, it didn’t feel like she was there, like she was distracted, evasive, it didn’t feel like her. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Joyce taking Hopper by the elbow to pull him aside, whispering things, he glanced towards them and he knew instantly they were talking about her. 

Hopper looked away as soon as he saw Steve catching him, frowning. 

He was about to stand up and join them when she sighed loudly, one glance back towards her and he saw her hands entangled deep in her scalp in frustration, almost pulling at the root, her back completely resting against the sofa, her eyes set on the ceiling covered in vines. 

Steve’s voice pulled her out of the spinning wheels turning in her brain, as she let go of the tangles in her hair, his hand met in the middle and caught hers, intertwining their fingers together, his eyes widened the moment he touched her skin and realised she was cold.

He brought himself closer and took both her hands in his, his thumbs ran around her wrists, “Do you feel cold ?”

Her brows frowned furthermore, there was some kind of latence in her answer as she didn’t really know if she felt cold or not, “No, I— I feel..,” she paused, her throat was sore from all the screaming and shouting she had done. 

Trying to clear her throat, she continued, her voice weakened and a bit hoarse, ”I don’t feel cold or hot, I feel so.. eerie. Like I’m not even here. Like I’m.. dying on the inside.”  

Steve closed his eyes for a few seconds as he tried to process what she was saying, his suspicious were rising alarmingly high, but when he opened his eyes he saw she had her turned her head towards the windows, following her gaze, he saw the Mind Flayer stood at the complete opposite side of town, far away, but he kept looking back and forth between her and noticed that its’ head had moved towards them. 

Goosebumps and chills rose along his body, his gaze focused solely on her, one final glance to the creature when he saw its’ head moving back to the position it had, overlooking the city, then one glance at her, she had such a passive expression in her eyes that he couldn’t recognise. 

Almost in sync, as she closed her eyes the most intense, piercing guttural shriek echoed in town, eyes revulsed behind her eyelids, Steve began panicking, shaking her arms, strong grip on her shoulders, her body was stoic, and he had flashbacks of Max and Nancy going through the same episode. 

Talking loudly than he thought, he shouted her name, getting even closer, practically straddling her as her head fell back, and with two firm hands he held her cheeks and tried to get her to wake, with no success. 

With the monstrous shriek and Steve practically shouting her name, it had woken up everyone sleeping and brought Hopper and Joyce as soon as they noticed Steve moving on the couch. Everyone’s attention filled the room with so much noise it nourished the stress and panic deep beneath him, soonly the excruciating noise in the room was quieted down by more guttural shrieks coming from outside. 

The movement of panic grew stronger and finally, someone thought aloud that their best choice was to leave now or all their chances of surviving would be close to none —which was already the case. 

That made Steve’s muscles tense, he finished letting her head fall gently on the cushion, he turned around, his eyes darkened and his face looked so tense that no one knew what to expect.

Nancy hadn’t expected Jonathan to propose such a thing, her head turned to him, shock evident on her face. 

Steve wasn’t so surprised, “Again with the leaving people behind? People that aren’t close enough to you, that is. Please go, be the first to be eaten, pulled apart, whatever they do with you, I don’t give a fuck.” 

“No, no one’s going anywhere, you listen to me? No one’s leaving anyone behind,” Hopper’s voice tried to be stern but everyone’s patience was running low, it allowed more recklessness too. 

“So what, we’re supposed to stay here and wait until she wakes up when we know that we are going to be dead staying here, I’m supposed to wait for her when I know that the more we wait, the more we are targets!”

“Jonathan, she deserves the same chances as us to survive, we’re not leaving her behind, this is insane.”

“Nancy, this is life or death, the choice is pretty simple, we’ve already lost so much time, we can’t allow ourselves to lose more.”

“I know this is life or death, should I remind you we’ve all been through this for years, I know that you’re scared, I am too, but punishing her when she could survive too is just not okay! She got involved merely a week ago when she was pulled in by a Demobat. She survived on her own here without knowing anything and she found us when we got stuck too. She could have left then but she stayed and she fought Vecna with us, almost dying countless times, she’s helped Max and she fucking brough back Eddie the first time around, she’s not getting anywhere without us! I owe it to her to not leave her behind like I did for Barb!” 

She could only listen to what was happening around her, it gave her a bitter sensation in the back of her throat, but experiencing such.. vulnerability and inaccessibility in her own body and not having full control, it was insanely uncomfortable and maddening.

Forcibly stoic, unable to move, she couldn’t do anything but listening to everything that happened, in the blink of an eye, she found herself to be plunged in complete darkness, then, after a few seconds, she heard footsteps, the lights above her started flickering and she realised she wasn't in complete darkness anymore. 

She found herself to be in some corridor, evidence of a previous fight on the bloodied walls and the cracked tiles. She turned her body to the sounds coming from a man walking towards her, his pace confident, arms behind his back, dirty blond hair and entirely dressed as someone that came out of an asylum or some lab. She didn't know who it was, but she had a strong suspicion about his identity.

She was too shocked and frightened to form a sentence, the man resembled nothing like the descriptions she’s had from her friends. 

The light above kept flickering which allowed their surroundings to move to a darker but lengthier space, darker tiles on the walls and on the ground, with turned off lights on a spherical shape on a corner, but she focused on him, straightening her body and planting her feet in the ground. 

It indicated to him she knew how he was, she was on the defensive, which didn't matter that much as he was already infiltrating her mind. 

“If you don't wake up, you and your friends will die,” his voice wasn't at all like she expected, it was soft, it didn't hold any roughness or threats, it warned her though.

Frowning, she didn't understand the situation, she struggled to form words, so he continued, “The clock is ticking.” 

His head moved slightly, he looked at her up and down, his chin down to analyse her posture and a weakness point, then chin up, he tightened his arms behind his back, focusing on the task at hand, his only chance.

She noticed and followed his gaze, body still planted on the ground, hands curled in fists, being studied so closely confused her at first, for someone who had thought of every possible outcome, who had thought of his plan to invade Hawkins, he seemed rather clueless. Making up his plan as it went on. 

“I understand your suspicion, but I could help you.” 

One of her eyebrows raised in surprise, but she kept her mouth shut, having not a clue what she was doing but still resisting, however she could.

He started moving towards her, only to pace in circles around her, slowly, he stopped behind her, an arm’s length from her, he paused for quite some time, which almost made her turn around, “I do not understand.”

His voice has gotten harsher, his patience has worn down, “You think you can resist me, or him?” 

Confusion struck her, what the hell did he mean by him? What was this? Who was he referring to as him?

He completed his circle and arrived by her eye level, their eyes connected, she could read determination on him, the wheels spinning behind those blue eyes, “He won't be as merciful, your only way out is with me.” 

She kept her eyes fixed on him, she could read so much on him now that she had struck a nerve being silent and resisting, which allowed her to make a wild guess, “You're on your own.” 

He tried to not let his surprise show but the frown that appeared on his face could not be missed, “Only people that are left mending for themselves can be so desperate and reckless. He abandoned you, and you’re on your own, Henry,” she paused, watching his face go through so many emotions. 

It clicked then, the Mind Flayer was he, she continued, taking a step closer, “He’s given up on you, and you're left mending for yourself. If you wanted to kill me you already would have done so. So what's your purpose in this?” 

He tilted his head, the frown he wore indicated to her that she was correct, and he wasn't just impatient now, but mad as hell to have been figured out.

“I spared you–”

“No, you can't kill me, you’ve resorted to gaslighting and tormenting. Why?” 

The façade slowly started melting off as he grew angrier, the white outfit swapped for his disfigured rotting body, his voice distorted, their surroundings changed to a field of floating parts of a destroyed house, red mist swallowing the ground.

Moving forward, new parts of his body were revealed, newly burned off parts, gaping holes in his chest, how he was still alive was profoundly shocking to her, “You're hiding,” only a whisper that escaped her lips as she studied their surroundings, “..and hurting.. you're..—” 

He tilted his head, and she switched her attention on his face closer to her, his eyes were the deepest shade of blue, like the deepest regions of an ocean, where the light can barely escape, and darkness only reigns.

“You're dying, and you're left mending for yourself,” she paused, she was more thinking out loud, stretching out her thinking, she had no idea where all this courage came from to reveal his truth, where all that clairvoyance came from, “So, you're stalling.” 

Out in the open, he couldn't fathom how she had understood, “You're left so weak you can't even kill me. Why would you stall if he’s abandoned you?” 

He wasn't as defenceless as she thought him to be, with a grunt she saw his eyes close, and unexpectedly complete darkness surrounded her, she couldn't see anything, as if she were blind. 

She felt deeply uneasy the more she stayed in complete darkness, wishing she had shut her mouth. If he was going to kill her, she hoped it would be quick.

The tension kept rising within the group and Hopper ended the argument by agreeing to split up, even though it killed him because he hated that idea.

Given the alarming number of roaming creatures outside and some questionable sounds coming from them— the fact that they couldn't recognise what those creatures were, sent shivers down their spine, it completely terrorised them, it could only mean that something new was outside— they decided to split up. 

The thing is, the groups were heavily uneven, only Nancy chose to stay with Steve, Joyce was staying with Hopper, Will and El stayed with their parents, Mike followed El, and Dustin was too vulnerable on his own with the crutches to stay in a much smaller group.

Steve retreated back to her, sitting on the cushion sideways to her, he grabbed her hand, hoping it would help him calm down his anger. 

He completely ignored the sounds of them getting their equipment and Hopper calling Nancy to share some with her, more ammunition, pocket knives, lighters, and tiny bottles of liquor.

She watched them leave, guns and makeshift weapons in hands, Dustin in the middle of them to assure his safety, until they were completely out of her eyesight, then her head turned to Steve, his back to her.

Nancy feared his mood wouldn't help them develop a plan to get out, but they needed to elaborate one, quickly, so, trying to ignore the worrisome shrieks from outside, she cautiously stepped towards Steve.

She sat on the ground, facing him, her head levelling with Steve’s lover, quietly observing her face, how her eyes kept moving back and forth, witnessing she was somewhere they couldn't join. 

“She’s getting colder, I don't know what to do to rid her of him,” Steve let out quietly, like a secret he could finally let out.

Nancy’s head turned to him, frowning.

“I didn't want to bring it up because I didn't know how everyone would react to it, probably the same as what happened, but–,” he paused, a brief glance towards her, not yet sure if he could say it, but what would she do? Throw a tantrum? Too late for that.

“I’m almost sure she’s.. The Mind Flayer has her, the same way he had with Will. She was awake before we all heard that terrific sound, she felt.. off, like she wasn't with us, she didn't feel how cold she is, and it may be in my head but, I feel like she’s colder.” 

She nodded, and immediately her brain thought of a way to make it out, wheels spinning on end, until Steve’s voice broke it all up, “To be honest, I’m aware I’ve doomed us all, I didn't think anyone would support me, I — I thought I would.. die alongside her.” 

Shock blew on her face, her eyes moved to his face, his head low, searching for his eyes she tilted her head to the side, “Steve..” 

Deep in his eyes was sadness, and desperation, nothing she would have expected from him, she was stunted, shocked. His eyes trailed back to her, his thumb mindlessly caressed her cold skin. 

It gave Nancy more determination to give her best to elaborate the best plan possible.. in Hell.

Their plan was quite simple, Steve would carry her and Nancy would go first, gun in hand, and they would travel small location to small location, not more than a block away to make sure they could attempt to hear or see their enemies, try to, at least. 

Nancy made sure she had enough ammunition in the pockets of her jacket, along with a pocketknife, she gave one to Steve and hid one in the upper pocket of her jeans.

Out of curiosity, and because she hadn’t dared to previously, Nancy held her hands and realised how cold she was, she also realised she had never properly inspected her injuries, she hadn't acknowledged what had happened to her.

She could see the multiple cuts through the materials of her long sleeve shirt and her jeans, but the worst injury was the one on her abdomen, she hadn't realised it was that bad, of course she had seen but.. she hadn't paid attention given everything that happened.

She pulled up the shirt, she let out a gasp when she saw the rawness of her injury and Steve cleaned it the best he could, the skin around was inflamed, swollen, and mostly fresh blood around the piece of wood impaled, but it kept the blood loss controlled.

One thing she wasn't sure though, were the jet black veins exiting the wound, calmly she called for Steve, who had been in the kitchen looking for more supplies. He was about to ask but he saw, and the answer to his doubts were there, she was taken by the Mind Flayer, it resembled everything they had seen in Will, another shriek echoed through the city.

“We have to hurry,” Steve briefly whispered and hurried himself to put on his jacket, his backpack followed, Nancy copied him, taking off the security on her gun, she opened the door as silently as she could, stepping carefully outside.

One hand holding a flashlight, the other hand holding her gun, she stepped cautiously through the porch as Steve held her, one arm wrapped under her knees, the other under her waist. He followed her carefully, arriving first to the store they had scavenged, a ten minute break later —inspecting their surroundings and planning as soundlessly as they could.

They continued like this without any encounters, house after house after house until they heard human screams and more guttural shrieks.

It wasn't just human screams, pained screams and warnings to run off. Nancy recognised Jonathan’s voice in the lot, paralysed on the spot she was caught between helping them or staying with Steve. She turned to him, and he knew immediately what she was about to do, he didn't even wait for her to speak, he walked towards the nearest house to hide.

He heard Nancy run off to where the screams came from, getting closer to the door he hoped to be able to touch the handle with her in his arms, but he didn't even have the time to, she started convulsing in his arms.

“No, no, no, no!,” not as silent as he hoped to be, but to be able to carry her inside he had to force his way in, not exactly subtle, but his only choice.

So he forced the door open with his leg and rushed inside, he hid upstairs, closed all the doors, because he knew that every creature around had heard him barge in and rush upstairs.

He tried his best to keep her on her side while she was convulsing, as silent as possible, he prayed to God they wouldn't be found, eyes closed, hands tightly holding her body, he hoped. 

When the darkness completely surrounded her, she knew something was coming but she hadn't expected to be tormented by sounds only in complete and utter nothingness.

He had pulled out everything that's been hurting her for her entire life, hearing it made the memories come back and reliving them was torture. He knew what he was doing. 

Her parents fighting from her earliest moments, trying to muffle the screams with her small hands, their tension always growing as years went on, music blaring loudly in her room to isolate herself from her family, hiding behind her books. 

The expectations and the bar her parents set so high up she couldn't reach. 

Then came the loneliness and difficulties she went through making friends, the jealousy, the people pleasing in fear of being left alone, how she’s been harming herself on all levels and coping in unhealthy ways.

Every voice that spat venom at her face resurfaced, making her try to scream above those voices to make it all stop. 

She heard Nancy screaming at her to stop pushing her about Barbara, why she had so suddenly stopped trying looking for her, spitting at her that she had made the choice to be alone when Nancy had tried befriending her so it gave her no rights to be mad at her. Nancy had even gone so far as telling her that she deserved to be left alone.

Covering her ears with her hands wasn't working, she could still hear everything, she had retreated to her knees, her forehead and her arms touching the ground with her hands tightly put around her ears, she had completely turned into herself. 

Seconds turned into minutes, it went on with Steve, and the first fling before him. Both had hurt her in similar ways, and struck her self esteem lower than it already was. Hearing that boy say she was too much to handle, too needy, and nothing but a passable one night stand. Her first experience. Then Steve, how he had left her in her room, vacating her heart.

She hadn’t realised the tears that fell down, it’s when it had stopped that she noticed she was crying, she could still hear it, feel those words as if they were snakes crawling their way in under her skin.

She let out a breath of relief when she finally realised that silence surrounded her, the muscles in her arms aching, now all her body screamed for a chance to let go, that it’s had enough, and her mind agreed. 

She’s had enough.

She opened her eyes but her eyelids were heavy, when she looked around herself she didn't recognise where she was, her jeans and arms were wet from the grass and the mud, she was in the woods.

She completely sat down, turned her upper body around so she could take a glance at her surroundings, grass, trees, there was a form a few feet from her, but she could hardly see what it was, hidden behind the mist.

She got up, holding onto a tree next to her as her vision got blurry, she closed her eyes and tried to catch her breath, when she felt capable enough she walked towards the ambiguous form.

It was a handmade wooden castle, “Welcome all friends” and “Castle Byers” written on the front in yellow. She passed through the tarp, and a gasp left her mouth as soon as she saw him.

“So, this is where you're hiding,” a voice that resembled hers said, but it hadn't come from her own mouth, turning around she saw her alter ego leave as quickly as she came in. Turning inside the makeshift castle, she looked one last time at a very weakened, rotten and rotting body of Vecna, seemingly taking his very last breaths until the scenery floated away like a candle’s flame blown off.

Only the electrifying blue of his eyes seemed to be stuck a few moments later, until she was met with darkness and silence. Nothingness.

Steve waited, he waited for so long, her body had stopped convulsing just moments ago, he had left her when he was sure she was still breathing, ventured on the porch to see what was going on. He could hear from afar the screams of the creatures, but nothing from Nancy or the others.

Pocket knife in hand, he heard nothing that told him it wasn’t safe to go and he needed to get them away as fast as possible. So he tried his luck and went back inside to carry her downstairs, cautious on the steps, he put her down on the sofa and rushed to the windows in the hopes of finding Nancy walking back to them.

He did see and hear the occasional Demodog or Demobat roaming around, but nothing, he hesitated, could he risk it? Defenseless having to carry her, it would be suicide. 

Studying their neighbourhood, he hadn’t realised the noises that came from the couch, deep in his thoughts.

Until he heard her whisper his name, he rushed to her side, she was blinking away her confusion, he pulled up her shirt to look at the wound and the black veins were still there, they had retreated back though. Hope warmed his body.

He was about to rapidly explain to her what had gone and what they needed to do, but a violent shake broke through the earth, followed by the sound of something exploding.

Just a turn towards the sound and through the windows they saw bombs exploding, falling down like rain.

He rushed her up, with a strong grip around her waist he ran off outside through the back door that led to the edge of the woods.

Together they sprinted off away, successful to avoid any bombs, he heard some creatures following them but they were killed off easily as the hive mind worked its way until he brutally realised that she was part of it too as she fell unconscious on the ground.

Until the very end he would stay with her.

He doesn't realise when he falls unconscious too, he only knows that he’s an arm’s length from her.. as long as he dies alongside her..

There was nothing around her, not a sound, not a weird looking doppelganger, not Vecna to torment her.

Just, back at the starting point, with nothingness and an uncomfortable silence surrounding her. 

Her arms closed off, tight around her body to try and warm herself a bit, she kept walking around nothingness. 

She wondered if she was going to be stuck in there forever, does she want to go back to Steve? Does she want to go back at all? She truly didn’t know, she didn’t know if she had the choice, but if she had it, would she return back to Hawkins? 

She didn’t have time to ponder the question really, because she joined the darkness within, and shortly after, she was back in her unconscious body, lying on the ground, fire spreading as the US army was gaining ground in the Upside Down, with it, the bombing kept going, as it’s the only weapon they possessed that would work. 

Eradicate it all with fire— were the final words left from Dr Owens’s lips as he too, joined nothingness after being tortured for what felt like eternity, he had given nothing, not a single thing about Eleven or anything that he knew, except how to kill it. 

Bodies defenceless, they could only hope they would either survive together or die together. 

[stevefromupsidedown]

FAÇADE — Pt, six : Hawkins' Party • steve harrington x f!reader

synopsis: it's started, and there's nothing they can do but hope to make it out alive. warnings: fem!reader with she/her pronouns, deaths, blood, gore and violence, references to mental health issues and low self esteem, very heavy on the angst, very little comfort, basically reader's the worst pessimist, very introspective, references to sexual themes, 18+ ONLY (overall warnings for the series, read at your own risk) This material is @takemetothelakes-poets’ property.

PT, SEVEN | SERIES MASTERLIST | CHAPTER PLAYLIST

Dustin opened his eyes, and instantly took a breath in, he looked around him, his brain processing what just happened until pain in his already hurt leg forced him to try to look down at his legs, but he couldn’t.

His upper body was trapped under a heavy piece of beam, his arms could barely move, as for his legs, he could feel something heavy also blocking them, but he couldn’t know for sure, he wasn’t strong enough to get out of there on his own. 

A whispered cuss word left his lips and he looked around, he really looked and he actually realised what had happened, he remembered he was in their friend’s house when it happened, it seemed like the ground was slipping away from their feet violently, quite literally as they didn’t have any time to react nor realise. 

Her house was completely destroyed, there was nothing left except remnants of a house down on the ground, and it wasn’t just hers’, every house on the street was destroyed, the Wheelers', the entire neighbourhood.

Second thing he noticed was the atmosphere, it had thickened up, white particles or spores —he didn’t know what it was really, none of them did— were everywhere, it felt cold, and dark, there was a weird smell around and it wasn’t just because the night had set, no, the Upside Down had started bleeding into Hawkins. 

The atmosphere, the sky, everything seemed to lean towards Hawkins' invasion. 

His head turned to the side as soon as he heard some noise, as it was abnormally silent around him, his eyes widened, he tried to calm his breathing but not knowing who or what was around as it seemed she was right, Vecna had struck when they least expected it. 

His heart was pounding in his chest, his eyes trying to look in all the directions he could, but he couldn’t, he nearly had a heart attack when he made out Steve’s figure crouching down to his direction, approaching slowly.

He was whispering his name around, trying to be as silent as possible even if his feet kept cracking around on the remnants of the house, cautious as to not step on anyone as they couldn’t see shit. 

The moon or the stars were nowhere to be seen probably due to the thick dark clouds. 

“Steve!” He stopped in his tracks and followed the sound of Dustin’s whispered voice, he managed to find him by feeling around, with his help he removed the first piece of beam lying on his upper body, then proceeded to free his legs. 

By luck, his strained ankle had only worsened, he didn’t have any broken bones, though he could feel the scrapes, the raw skin on his face and on different parts of his body.

Warm blood running on the side of his face, next to his eyes, the arch of his eyebrows made him wince as he sat up, dizziness starting to blurry his vision, he was forced to slow down his movements. 

He couldn’t see much but Steve was eyeing in his direction, as best as he could, only perceiving the smallest bits of reflected light in his eyes, his brows furrowed as he heard Dustin’s breathing alter for just a second in pain. 

“What’s wrong?” Steve let out in a whisper, one of his hands trying to feel around for him until he found one of his knees (he hopes), his movements cautious, trying to sense an injury, blood, anything. 

“I can feel blood running along the side of my face but not that much, so it’s probably not that bad but my head is-”, he paused, realising Steve was whispering, he wasn’t. Why would he whisper?

“What? Dustin?” There again! More panicked, his voice cracking a bit but he whispered again. 

“Why are you whispering Steve?” 

Dustin heard the shallow breathing leave his lips, almost like his body was shaking, a goosebump took over his body, “I suppose I.. heard some familiar noises when I came back to my senses.. The Upside Down kind of familiar noises..” 

It had the effects of a cold shower on Dustin, his back straightening, his heart beating picking up faster against his ribcage, sweat beading down his temple, “What?” 

It wasn’t a what? kind of question, more like a way to verbalise his difficulty to acknowledge the truth, he couldn’t believe it, at all, not until they heard something cracking, their heads immediately jerked to the side, listening carefully. 

It sounded like multiple cracks, like footsteps, and it didn’t look like it came just from one person or creature, it came into their direction until it stopped suddenly, Steve’s heart was beating at an abnormal rate, his eyes just trying so hard to catch something, he began to wonder if the weird gurgling sound he heard were real or made up in his mind in terror. 

Seconds of silence felt like an eternity of apprehension, until it started again and directly towards them, then a voice, “Steve? Robin?” 

Nancy. 

Dustin and Steve let out a breath of relief, Steve’s hand on his chest as if to soothe his rapid breathing and heartbeat, “You fucking scared us arriving like that, goddamit, Nancy!”, Dustin’s voice almost shouted, in a controlled whisper-yell. 

She continued, crouching down to them, his voice guiding her, “I’m sorry, I just— I can’t— Are you guys okay?” 

Steve could kind of imagine where she was from her voice, “Mostly just scrapes, I don’t know for sure about Dustin, we can’t see shit. Are you—” 

“I don’t want to be unpleasant but my leg is stuck and I would very much like to be unstuck and not feel this horrible weight on my already weak ankle, please.” 

They both got into action, with one hand Steve lead hers’ to one side of the beam, him on the other side, they lifted it on the count of three, despite the weight they managed to rise it up enough for Dustin to crawl a bit forward, and put it down as silently as they could. 

It hurt, but it already felt better, he didn’t feel any blood so it probably was good, right ?

He hated so fucking much that Vecna / Henry / One had chosen nightime to invade Hawkins, he probably would have done the same to have the upper hand, but goddamit how unpractical was it?! 

“Are you okay, do you feel blood, or—or like it burns, or, I don’t know..”

Dustin shook his head as he whispered back to Nancy, “No, I don’t think so, I don’t feel my splint though, we might need to make a homemade one, that or—,” he paused, feeling around his ankle, no his splint was there, “—crutches. I do sense my splint now that my hands are on it, but I don’t think I can rest my weight on my leg, limping is a hard pass, so, crutches.” 

“Yeah, okay, but we can’t do that now, we can’t see shit, we need to find the others, regroup, you’re limping for now, we’ll help you, let’s just wait for the sun to rise, at least,” she answered back, her head turned to the side, trying to focus on the darkness, maybe shadows could help them navigate, the difference in the darkness precisely. 

It wasn’t that easy, Steve helped Dustin walk to the forest’s edge with Nancy leading the way, her voice a beacon for them to follow. 

They had nothing to do except wait, hope for the night to end, and for the day to finally rise, if it even did. 

They didn’t find anyone else yet, hoping they would hear the others, or some noise to alert them of someone’s or something’s presence, but the night was quiet, they took turns staying awake, barely able to relax enough to get some rest.

The light of day did manage to peek through the atmosphere, but it reflected the Upside Down's atmosphere, it wasn't bright like it usually was, it was semi dark like the end of a sunset.

They were hopeful in finding more survivors that just like them were just hiding, but they found bodies instead, the firsts of many. 

Neighbours at first, it wasn't a shocker, the magnitude of the earthquake, the gates opening further without any warning, the monsters of the Upside Down invading Hawkins.. It made sense that they would experience loss, close to them or not, then they saw it. It didn’t make sense anymore. 

Steve didn't know how to react, he was shocked. Staring into her battered body, his gaze focused on something completely different, far away from her, but the image was imprinted in his retinas. 

He felt a hand setting on his shoulder, but he completely ignored it, barely acknowledged it. 

The blue and red stripes from her blouse gave it away, and he couldn’t believe it, in a hurry he stepped closer and got rid of debris that fell on her, his eyes and eyebrows widened, goosebumps rising along his body as he faced a view he didn’t want to face, ever. 

Her eyes were just so… open and limpid, so lifeless. A greyish colour on the parts of her body he could recognize that surprisingly weren’t covered in dried blood, haematomas or dirt, her mouth slightly open, her lips cracked, dirtied by dried blood and dirt. 

Her eyebrows were slightly scrunched up, in her last moments it seemed her face held pause on her feelings, and based on it, she suffered, and he hated it. 

He hated everything about it. He couldn’t believe his best friend had endured such a terrible death. 

It seemed like it was weeks ago when it was only days ago that Robin had told him they wouldn't be as lucky as the years prior in their adventure to kill Vecna, the stakes were too high, it was too dangerous, too great of a bet.

A cold chill went through his body as a violent thought interrupted his mind, he began navigating the scene, trying to identify any sign of someone else's body. 

Two remained missing, and he didn't even dare whispering her name, as if saying it out loud would make it happen, like it would give credit to some sort of prophecy and he would find her dead and he would lose it. 

Robin is already hard enough, not her. It’s impossible. 

Steve and Nancy did their best to get her out of the debris, they couldn’t do much to properly give her a burial. 

They did as much as they could to pay their respect, her body resting in the edge of the forest, at the bottom of the neighbourhood, arms resting along her body, they tried to close her mouth and her eyes, but it wouldn't take, she was too rigid and cold. Her eyes would haunt him forever.

He never looked back at her, as  he walked away, it didn’t seem real, he would wake up soon. He’d have to. 

They took advantage of the following light hours to look around for people, both Eddie and her were missing, impossible to find in the debris. Nancy found her father, her sister.. And unfortunately, her mother too. Her reaction was similar to Steve’s, dazed. It was impossible to believe. 

Her brain knew it all too well and automatically started its defence mechanism: numbness. 

They did the same for her family, rested them like Robin, she was trying her hardest to not remember their faces like that, with all the blood and.. the terror on her mother’s face, the pain on her sister’s face. She didn’t want to remember that. 

Given they haven’t found anyone else alive, they decided on trying to walk around the neighbourhood, trying to look for anything that could be useful. Steve found some ducking tape, and improvised crutches for Dustin so he could follow them faster and maybe with less pain. They managed to find canned food, and surprisingly some water bottles, some were untouched, as if there never was an earthquake. 

Even if the day had set earlier, the daylight wasn’t as authentic as it used to be, it looked like a morose, cloudy day in November, the red lightning striking the sky, the sound of it echoed in the city, the clouds resembled more and more like the ones in the Upside Down. 

It seemed like daylight was a faded copy of itself, the creatures weren’t there, only the atmosphere and the chaos around them proved they weren’t in some collective nightmare. 

As it got darker they agreed on needing a place to hide, as they walked towards the city centre they observed their surroundings, saddened and astonished.  

Streets they’ve known all their life were completely unrecognisable, as they got closer to the town hall and the familiar shops they’ve grown to see since they were little, they’ve come into some that were still intact. 

They agreed on hiding in one of them as the day welcomed more darkness, it seemed the day was shorter, or, as they had no way of knowing what time of the day it was, they were a bit disoriented. They improvised mattresses with piles of knotted clothes, they attended to their wounds, cleaned with some water and soap they found in the restroom and used broken pieces of mirrors to see their faces. 

Scrapes, dried blood, bruises, small cuts, they seemed to be pretty lucky. 

They weren’t hungry but still ate, and both Nancy and Steve took turns staying awake and resting, with a piece of broken mirror taped to some wood, it wasn’t much, but it was better than nothing. Steve took the first watch, he wasn’t sleepy at all. 

Thankfully, the shop had curtains, so they were able to hide behind them. He looked through them a few times, and he did see some bats and demodogs passing through, always remaining incredibly silent, staying vigilant for any sounds, any signs that danger was around the corner. 

He was so focused he hadn’t realised that hours passed and Nancy had awoken and gotten closer to him, telling him he could rest for a couple hours, but he couldn’t. 

He was lying under a thin duvet, staring at the wall as his mind kept spinning around, keeping him awake. 

Robin kept him awake, the uncertainty that lay in their future, how, in one single moment, their lives had completely changed, it kept him awake. 

She kept him awake. Was she alive? Safe? Had she partnered up with Eddie or was he also missing? Why were they missing? Has something happened? Questions like those kept circling around and around in his head, he couldn’t escape them, he couldn’t put them to sleep. 

Then, he replayed his last memory, how furious and hurt she looked before she stormed to her room, they had fought, and she was so right. He had dismissed her concern and her ideas for Nancy. His hand’s hold on the duvet tightened, guilt invading him. Shame crept up on him like claws digging in his flesh, running deep in his veins. He could feel it in his stomach, knots forming out of worry, tears of anger that he hadn’t even noticed ran across his nose and fell on the material under his head.

In a rampage, he pushed the tears away from his eyes, a cry of despair forming but blocked in his throat.

He refused to let his furry, sadness and disgust of himself be seen by others, especially Nancy, whom, unbeknownst to her, was in the centre of that fight, and as he suspected, was a cause for their relationship to be so difficult, her jealousy was.. So poisonous. 

Exhaustion got the upper hand, and he quietly fell asleep, still holding his duvet tightly, under Nancy’s very discreet gaze. 

Her body jolted awake, eyes wide open, taking a big breath in. Her body was stuck in hypervigilance, her brain already trying to process everything that happened. Her heartbeat spiking the more she realised what happened and where she was. 

A sense of urgency invaded her brain as goosebumps started to spread on her skin, feeling cold with the adrenaline, the shortness of breath quickly followed, a visceral intuition to panic invaded her bloodstream, made her stomach feel sick. It was too familiar, all too familiar. 

She found herself stuck alone in a nightmare once again.

She was tired of having to survive on her own, fight on her own, she began to question the worthiness of it, the necessity of it, it had to be… right? 

She struggled to realise where she stood, she was stuck from her chest to her legs, she could only move her head around, but there wasn’t anything to see, it was too dark, only the red lightning striking through the sky, she instantly knew she had been right, and that with more preparation maybe it wouldn’t have happened this way.. She decided on stopping on the what ifs, there were too many of them and it wouldn’t help her. 

She tried to look around, the slight movements in her body halted everything as she felt something digging deeper on the side of her abdomen, the same one that had been bitten off by bats days ago, she couldn’t contain the reflex to look down and only moved more, she let her head fall down on whatever it was, exhaling loudly as she tried to not let out any cry or scream. A strong intuition telling her she needed to be silent. 

Immobile, tried to control her breathing to make it hurt less, but the more she stayed in that position the more she felt its pressure, she was certain the wound had cracked open. Something had pierced through, she didn’t know how deep but she definitely felt it sting, the electric shot of pain coursing through her nerves at every breath she took. 

She could only hear her own muffles in the darkness and coldness surrounding her, very faint clouds of mist escaping her lips as each exhale she gave out, she quit on moving, completely relaxing her aching muscles. 

Her eyesight focused on the sky, its black and reddish colour whenever lightning struck.

It’s almost pretty. 

A faint and distant scream echoed through the silence, her head followed its direction and another wave of pain shot through her body, reminding her once again to not make any sudden moves. 

The scream happened only once, it was too far to really distinguish if it was made by a human or an animal, and if it were the latter —realisation felt like a cold shower. 

Her heartbeat started spiking, she began to feel it against her ribcage, goosebumps and this coldness in her limbs, she started sobbing uncontrollably, pinching her lips with her teeth, her eyes stuck in the direction the scream came from. 

Knuckles turning white from the tightness of her fists, giving everything she had not to succumb to terror. 

Don’t scream. Stop crying. Don’t scream. Don’t scream. Don’t. Scream. 

Vagabond pearly tears escaped her eyes and ran down her cheeks, she couldn’t contain the sobs that escaped her lips. 

“Steve?” It felt strange having to listen to herself so weak, so vulnerable, her voice so shaky. 

Another uncontrollable sob, an ugly cry accompanied by another fresh wave of cold tears, this time her voice could only whisper, “Steve.”

She was making up her mind to give up; the fight or flight response was suddenly surprisingly very quiet, she almost felt ready to give up, she felt so tired, so cold, it was so tempting. The adrenaline, the emotional tool of the situation, has completely exhausted her. She let it get the best of her, her eyes closed ever so slowly.. and everything got darker.

Steve bolted awake as someone was shaking him, he heard Dustin’s voice muffled pleas for him to wake, he was on high alert immediately, eyes and eyebrows widened, the teenager’s face wouldn’t help him realise what was happening so he turned to Nancy. 

She was taping tightly blades to a strong piece of wood, “The sun hasn’t risen yet, I’ve seen some shadows move around, they have torches. We need to get ready to move and fast.” 

“I don’t understand— it’s people, they could-” 

“I’ve been watching them, I heard screams, guns, they’re attracting the creatures our way, I don’t know how or who they are but they seem to know that they’re afraid of fire. Steve, get up. We need to move, as quickly as possible.”

He didn’t need to be told twice, he quickly gathered his stuff, grabbed his makeshift spear, and made sure to strap the backpack on his shoulders, they exited through the back door, Nancy opening the walk, Dustin in the middle with his crutches and Steve closing the walk.

Both young adults had spears in their hands, cautious on their way to leave, too aware that they couldn’t see much, they had to play their luck, use their unknown opponents’ torches like a compass, know where they are and avoid them. 

A thought came into Steve’s head when he made out the shadow of what seemed to be riffles, they were seriously under equipped, he had imagined that some people would probably survive, just like they have, but he certainly didn’t imagine that they would be so prepared, so easily and rapidly armed to the teeth. 

He wished they had better equipment and fighting gear to defend themselves, gosh, she was so right, but the harsh reality was that they didn’t, they had to survive with barely anything.. but what if—? No. 

He stopped himself before exploring further his train of thoughts.. he didn’t like where it led him, even if he wondered if and when he would cross the line he was so hesitant to cross. He knows he’ll do it if it comes to it, but has it really come to that? Have the remaining people simply just lost any common sense and were ready to turn against themselves? 

Killing those demobats and demodogs meant barely nothing compared to humans.. it really is the end of the World, isn’t it? 

They were too slow, Dustin had trouble manoeuvring his crutches in the dark, a single moment of inadvertence —blindness would be more adequate— with no moonlight, no streetlight, only that goddammit light of that torch was useful to them but also because he stepped on broken glass and the sound of crutches on glass wasn’t, at all, discreet. 

They tried to retreat quickly, Steve grabbed the crutches, with one hand around his waist, helped him walk faster, they rushed into the forest, Nancy could recognise someone she saw in The War Zone, someone who probably participated in the witch hunt against Eddie. 

And then it struck. 

Were they still hunting him? Venging Jason’s death? Did they have any idea of what was really happening or weren’t they just opportunists taking advantage of the situation? 

Gunshots fired in their way as the three young adults ran as fast as they could through the forest, hunters quick on their footsteps, they weren’t afraid of using their guns, bits of trees shot off, their aim wasn’t precise at all, but it worked perfectly to install fear in their system, Dustin couldn’t really feel his ankle hurting with the adrenaline. 

Soon enough, they heard demobats shrieks piercing through the night, and surely, the following scream was enough to make Nancy’s blood run cold.  

She could recognise that shriek anywhere since she heard it back in the Upside Down, the first time she went there looking for Barbara. 

Everyone’s footsteps halted abruptly, clearly unexpecting to hear such a strident sound. It was barely noticeable, everyone was so stunned, but Steve and Nancy shared a glance, a grave look plastered on her face. 

Eyebrows slightly furrowed, her eyes widened, her hands trembling. She felt the muscles in her body starting to tense, her body what it was, its response was almost automatic. 

As for the others, pure terror was setting in their bodies as seconds passed and the echo of the scream travelled through the woods. 

They were absolutely petrified on the spot. 

It seemed like Steve and Nancy understood each other with only a glance, they began running, hoping they would take some advance on their opponents, the thing is, some of them were so afraid, they hesitated on following them, they watched a few running away, trying to catch the young adults, Eddie’s followers, as they enjoyed shouting confidently. 

The others weren’t as.. audacious, glaring at each other uncomfortably, not exactly knowing if they could —or should— give in to panic, or follow them, was it worth it dying for ?

They received a reality check quickly as they heard hurried steps coming their way, and not from the same direction as the others, another scream, much closer than anticipated. They broke apart, gave in to fear, their flight response sent them away but the demogorgon was fast, it arrived on them like a bowling ball, getting its fun out of them in no time. 

Leaving them bleeding to death on the cold soil, with no hope, the awareness of dying a terrible and agonising death and not being able to do anything but feel their heartbeats spiking then lowering, the temperature dropping suddenly, their fingers and toes, then the pins and needles in their arms and legs. 

Fighting that tiredness, that adrenaline trying to numb them into nothingness. 

Until there was nothing they could do but get lured into the void. 

Nancy had a plan —okay, no, scratch that, the start of a plan, just that— with absolutely zero guarantee that it would work or that any of them would come out of it alive. Having some kind of advance on their opponents, she hoped to find some kind of crevasse or hidden spot to hide into, she felt the tiniest bit of hope once she caught a glimpse of what seemed to be the rocks near Lovers’ Lake. 

She grabbed Steve’s arm and made the three of them turn right to hide in a tall and tight crevasse near Skull Rock, Dustin was the one who got there first, then Steve and Nancy. 

“I have an idea,” she started, amid catching her breath, her eyes closed momentarily, all struggling to take big breaths.

“They were able to light torches, that means they have activation energy and combustibles. We could take it from them. Demogorgons are terrified of fire, it likes it cold, remember?” 

“How? They have guns, there’s more of them, based on that scenario we’re losing,” Dustin complained, taking his crutches from Steve, who replied back, “Not necessarily, we have the element of surprise,” holding the spear firmer in his hand, shooting a glance at Nancy.

Footsteps quickly alerted them that they weren’t the only one near Skull Rock, based on the noise and the number of feet, it wasn’t the demogorgon yet, so they still had time before it arrived, Steve and Nancy both were holding onto their spear, deep into the crevasse. 

They arrived, using only the lighter as a form of light which was an advantage because it illuminated less than the torch, there were less chances of being seen, they approached towards the entrance, and when two of them were closer, they rushed to them, wielding their spears at them. 

The lighter fell and they realised there were four of those men, Steve had managed to stab one of them in the stomach, twisting the ‘blade’, giving him a shove away with his shoulder, he dodged a bullet and charged him. 

Nancy’s petite figure didn’t allow her to shove him the way Steve did, but she stabbed him multiple times. 

Another scream, and there it was, they could hear the Demogorgon’s feet getting closer, Nancy rushed to grab the lighter and a piece of wood. She called for Steve as she ripped a piece of her shirt to tie it around the wood, and when she turned around she saw he was in trouble. The hurried footsteps were getting so close and next thing she knew, it was already there. 

Standing, a strident and paralysing scream left from its maw.

Steve’s opponent let go of him as the Demogorgon stood on its back legs and charged at the two men in front of it. In some kind of blurry rush, Nancy tried to get closer to Steve and gripped his arm toward their hiding spot. 

She recalls hearing the man screaming to his death, but the creature wasn’t done, they tried to rush into the crevasse, deep into it, but it grabbed Steve’s ankle on its way in. 

He lost balance, fell on his front and was pulled towards the creature as Nancy and Dustin were screaming his name. She was trying her hardest to pull on Steve’s shoulder but she couldn’t match its strength. 

She had to let go; she focused on the piece of wood and tried to light it on fire. She knew it wouldn’t last that much as there wasn’t any oil or fuel on it but making a fire was urgent. 

Fingers shaking she managed to light it and shoved the torch in front of the Demogorgon, it let go of Steve and at the same time as it took a step back from the fire, a massive shotgun pierced through the woods and the creature’s shoulder was a bit blown away by the recoil of the bullet hitting. 

They didn’t know if it could get madder and more violent, and they honestly didn’t want to know, but whoever was firing those bullets, aimed perfectly, each bullet forced the Demogorgon to back away, until a lighted spear shot travelled to it and caught fire. 

It stopped rapidly as it seemed to have vanished, just like that night in ‘83 where Jonathan, Steve and Nancy burned one alive. 

They knew it wasn’t dead as they heard its scream echo in the distance, a revengeful and menacing growl travelling in the woods, with a strong smell of blood and hot flesh, sending a gag through Steve as he was struggling to get back on his feet, painful pins and needles around the leg the creature had pulled so hard on. 

He felt warmth on his calf, and now that he could think of it, a bit lightheaded. 

The world around him was spinning, and before he could say or do something, everything turned black in a matter of seconds, it stopped hurting, spinning.

He couldn’t hear Nancy calling out for him to wake up, to not give up.

It felt so accessible, so easy, so… welcoming, what else could he do as he had lost all hope in his life? 

[stevefromupsidedown]

FAÇADE — Pt, five : the morning after • steve harrington x f!reader

synopsis: It's imminent. They're lurking in the darkness, waiting for the perfect moment to invade Hawkins while Steve meets difficulties in his relationships. warnings: fem!reader with she/her pronouns, deaths, blood, gore and violence, references to mental health issues and low self esteem, very heavy on the angst, very little comfort, basically reader's the worst pessimist, very introspective, references to sexual themes, 18+ ONLY (overall warnings for the series, read at your own risk) This material is @takemetothelakes-poets’ property.

PT, SIX | SERIES MASTERLIST | CHAPTER PLAYLIST

Opening up her eyes, blinking a few times as she woke up from a deep sleep, she immediately felt some weight on the side of her body, and when she tilted her head, she saw a hand resting on the outside of her right thigh.

Steve’s arm was sleepily laid across her thigh and she instantly felt this pressure creeping itself on her stomach as soon as she opened her eyes, turning her head and saw that his face was close to her shoulder, he was deep asleep, by the slow rhythm of his breath and his relaxed face, it brought a wave of melancholy through her body.

Strands of his hair resting against his angelic sleepy face, if things were different, completely different, she wouldn’t feel this deep sadness, she wouldn’t feel so heartbroken. 

She’s about to annihilate their hope of becoming something together. 

She feels so much shame, guilt, but all she can picture, from everything that happened to them in the last couple of days, seems to be Steve’s heart eyes for Nancy in the Upside Down as they were on their way to Victor Creel’s house, all she can picture is how they were in high-school, every interactions until they were together as a couple, every kiss in the corridors, at parties, and how perfect they were and looked.. and those heart eyes as they were marching along a suicide mission. 

She doesn’t acknowledge what happened the night before with Steve, no, scratch that, she doesn’t take it seriously. Even his words, talking about staying with her everyday of his life, made her wince in discomfort, he couldn’t make a promise like that, not when Vecna was still alive, the gates were out, Max was very badly injured, when he looked at Nancy like that and overall they had no idea what was next. 

The night before, in and of itself, was a mistake, it didn’t matter, nothing made any sense, nor did it matter with Vecna on the loose, ready to kill everyone and everything that ever existed. 

Even worse, and she was ashamed to think like that but what she had told him was true, she was triggered by them, by the memories of them in the corridors, she didn’t have any feelings for Steve then but the heart eyes they gave each other in the Upside Down, accompanied by a lot of mixed feelings led her to believe that she didn’t deserve Steve, that she wasn’t worthy of him. 

She will never be. She needs to rip the bandaid off and she needs to do it quickly.

Her eyes drifted from his face to the ceiling, she started to feel some nausea, the taste of bile in the back of her mouth, and gently, she pulled his arm away, and tried her hardest to not wake him up as she escaped to the main bathroom, upstairs, closed the room shut and let out the remnants of her stomach, followed by bile. 

The cold tiles against her legs gave her goosebumps, she started noticing her heart’s palpitations, she could physically feel it beat fast against her ribcage; then the shortness of breath came on. 

“No..” she whined, more like cried. 

Without even realising she was having a panic attack. Having completely laid down on the tiles, her forehead on the floor, hoping the difference of temperature would ‘shock’ her out of it, but it didn’t work, it just painfully passed, her fingers were pressing so tightly into the palm of her hands her nails had left bloody nail marks. 

Tears she had not noticed and could not control were rolling down, erratic breaths escaping her lips, her eyes screwed shut, frowned her eyebrows in discomfort, pain. 

And when it was finally over, she slowly laid her back against the bathtub wall, trying to steady her her breathing, everytime she closed her eyes she was back in the Upside Down, with its thick toxic atmosphere, its monsters lurking in the darkness, silently, this terror living in her stomach, feeling so disoriented and lost. 

The smallest bit of pain from her side reminded her of the violence she had to face in there, how the Upside Down’s not merciful.  She forced herself to open her eyes, facing the door, closed, drying out her tears, taking a deep breath, hunched up as much as she could. 

Closing her eyes one last time to force herself to take a deep breath, even if she relived her solo trip down there every time. 

Breathe in. . . out. . . in. . . out. . .

Dustin woke up with a start, cold sweat falling from his forehead, out of breath. 

He didn't know if he was dreaming or having nightmares and if he was, he couldn’t even remember what they were about.  

He had woken up with this weight on his shoulders and his chest, this darkness lurking in a corner. 

His heart was beating so fast he could feel it by resting a hand on his chest, trying to catch his breath.

It's like he was back there again. 

He was cold, freezing, he hadn’t even realised that his hands were slightly shaking, but holding onto Eddie so hard his knuckles turned white.

As if he were still there again, he could smell Eddie's blood, and all he could see was blood, cherry red, and it was everywhere. It felt cold on his fingers, the tears falling on his hands felt like red-hot water.

His last breath left his lips, his eyes still open. 

Glassy, the pupils were almost covered by a thin layer, clouding his honey brown irises. 

Then the guilt, the shame.

Even if he remembers that she managed to bring Eddie back, and that he's alive, he can't stop but blame it on himself, how he got hurt, died for minutes, sacrificed himself to stall some more time. 

He tried so hard to ground himself, trying to ease the panic, but it didn’t work the way he hoped. 

By pushing the anxiety away he only welcomed it back more. 

Soon, he was hyperventilating, his heart beating erratically, he could feel his thoughts spiralling, tying knots, betraying himself, silently crying to not alert his mother, who was worried enough for him. 

He was alone. 

Nancy and her mom had talked together about doing donations for the families in need, who had taken refuge in both the gymnasium of Hawkins High and Middle School. 

When she had asked if Steve and her wanted to participate she said yes, which led her to go through some of her old clothes and toys in her parents’ garage while Steve was driving to his own house. 

Eddie was better, he could stand and walk, even if it was still a bit painful, he could walk around the house, he still had to stay at hers’, his status of a fugitive wouldn’t be that easy to get rid of, even when —or if— they manage to stop Vecna at whatever he’s prepared for next. 

Steve immediately sensed the mood change with her, she was closed off, stuck in her thoughts a lot.

He had hoped so hard that they were on better terms, not because they had shared a moment together, he knew better, no. It was merely a distraction for him, but because she had started to open up, was less closed off to him, and he keeps wondering over and over again if he had said, or done anything to upset her.

He has no idea.  

And then, mindlessly parking next to his house as he was trying to go through the events of the night before, he remembers what she told him. The jealousy, the emptiness and the extreme uncertainty she feels… and he doesn’t know what to do, what to say to her without sounding like an asshole that doesn’t care, he doesn’t want to dismiss her feelings and her.

He sighs, leaves his car and goes inside his house, in search of clothes, food or anything that could be useful for helping the families in need while she does the same, rummaging through boxes in her garage under Eddie’s concerned eyes. 

He had also noticed how she was quiet, closed off, and couldn't understand her behaviour. And as she was hunting down for old clothes, teddy bears and bedclothes, he recognized her irritation. 

Weirder still, she was scavenging for things that, from what Eddie had imagined, would not be useful for donations of families in need, she now was rummaging through boxes and drawers for equipment and.. stuff?

“What are you doing?,” Eddie dared speak up, sceptical, his eyes furrowed. 

She let out a breath of frustration, he thought she would stop to explain herself but in a quarter of a second she was back to going through the drawers.

Her name fell on his lips in a firm whisper, and she forfeited, turning around slowly to face him, distress evident on her face.

“Tell me what’s bugging you, and please, as you do, tell me why you’re rejecting Steve when he threw himself at you last night,” he gave her a puzzled look, she had hoped so badly he wouldn’t have noticed anything but he’s smarter than he looks, “I heard you guys kissing last night, now I don’t want to know if more was involved.. But please do tell me when I'll be an uncle.”

She sighed again, rolled her eyes at his banter, stepped further so her back was against the wall, crossing her arms, “Steve and I doesn’t concern you, and as for..”

“Excuse me? ‘Doesn’t concern me’”, he quoted in the air, “After I keep playing Cupid both in an interdimensional version of Hell and here? Even now. Are you kidding?”

She completely ignored him, her tone came a little more harsher than she wanted, her eyes stuck on Eddie,  “And as for what I’m doing.. It’s him. He’s opened the four gates to the Upside Down, he leaves them open but he doesn’t attack? He’s literally done what he promised he would do. It’s weird. We need to use that time to get prepared, find whatever we can to.. I don’t know… make survival backpacks? In case of extreme emergency, we need to survive an apocalypse.”

“The apocalypse?” He had this grin coming on his lips, an amused expression on his face. 

“Yes, Eddie, the fucking apocalypse, Armageddon, or whatever the hell you wanna call it! He delivered us his plans on a silver platter, and it fucking happenned. He has to be preparing something, he can’t just give up. He didn’t get Max, but he did get Jason and it was perfect for him since he had turned completely psycho because of Chrissy’s death. But, he got Jason after we shot him to his near-death, then he ripped open four gates of Hell in Hawkins so he’s still around. Him, and those fucking monsters.”

Eddie’s smile fell quickly, she was right. He hadn’t really thought about it, but she was right. 

The threat was very much real and very much around, he started thinking about their little trip in the Upside Down and imagining how far it all could go, he was terrified, he suddenly began to feel cold, he couldn’t be more terrified.

“I’ll help you pack some things for the donations, I obviously can’t go but when you're done, we should call a meeting, plan our next moves, or try to… You’re right, I’m sorry.” 

She had scarred both him and herself, her head hung low, she wasn’t quite sure if it was desperation, frustration, sadness, fear, or all of the above but her eyes started to water. 

“This isn’t going to end well, Eddie, I can feel it.. It’s..,” with a finger on her chin he made her look up softly, their eyes met, and his mind went completely blank, there’s nothing he could say to comfort because he couldn’t believe it himself. 

Instead of words, he put both his arms around her shoulders and held onto her, tightly, like an unspoken promise, her hands scrunched his shirt on his back, she was also holding onto him, as she let her tears cascade down her cheeks, wetting his shirt. 

They were packing Steve’s car, in front of the Wheelers’ driveway, she had managed to sneak a word to Nancy about doing a group meeting after they went to the gymnasium.

With the help of her mother, Nancy was putting away more stuff so that they could donate it, both Dustin and her were quiet, long gone in their thoughts as they were putting away the boxes in Steve's trunk, who was busy getting the boxes from Nancy, Robin next to them.

Steve had also noticed how Dustin was quieter than usual too, but he didn’t say anything, and preferred to wait until they would all meet in her house to talk about what they would do to sneak a word to Dustin, he wasn’t quiet, he was a very loud and very sarcastic kid who had lost all of that, it worried him. 

Not knowing what to do or say to both her and Dustin frustrated him, he felt useless, he now stood next to the both of them, Nancy catching up with him when they heard an unfamiliar vehicle approaching. 

A van? A pizza van? 

Steve turned around fully, frowning, his shoulder involuntarily brushing on her’s, “What the—” he let out as the van parked right in front of the Wheelers’ driveway, she briefly looked at him then turned to the van.

To their surprises, Jonathan, his brother and Nancy's exited the van accompanied by a girl with shaved head and a very long haired late teenager left the van, Dustin gasped and started to hobble towards his friends, Nancy put her box in Robin’s arms without any warning and stepped toward Jonathan. 

The two embraced hurriedly, a rapid kiss on the lips as they held onto each other tightly, whispering things to one another, Steve looked away, trying to not be intrusive, his eyes fell on the one he wished he could be this close with, but she had stopped looking at them. Her head hung low. 

She felt his eyes on her, his shoulder was further into her, she hesitated but curiosity —and longing— got the best of her, and she looked up.  Some of his worry went away when she didn’t look away, but instead kept their eye contact. 

Feeling braver, Steve gently offered her his hand, she briefly looked at the motion, seemed to think it through, and suddenly he awaited her rejection.. But it never came, instead she laced their fingers together, tightly, her head looking up at him again. 

A weight had somehow been lifted off his shoulders, he felt relieved, maybe there was something he could save, maybe it wasn’t all over, he still held hope for them.

The parking lot was full, SUVs from the army were everywhere, along with firemen and paramedics, they had heard that Hawkins was receiving help from the neighbourhood states, many people were missing, some had lost their home and had nowhere to go.

There was something deeply unsettling about stepping in the gym, they all felt it differently, but they were on the same wavelength about one thing: they felt responsible for the people hurt, who had lost everything and they were the only ones to know how and why it happened the way it happened. 

It wasn't just an earthquake, and they would realise that way too quickly, and it would be so deadly. 

Steve had encouraged them to go on, as both Dustin and her had stopped by the doorways (left often to facilitate passage), they gave away the boxes, looking at one another they offered if they could be of any help.

Each had a spot in a different corner, Steve was sorting and giving clothes to the people in need, Dustin was offering water, Robin was making PB&Js’, and she was outside, with other volunteers, firemen and paramedics sorting out medical equipment donations that came from the neighbouring states. 

She was gathering some unnamed boxes from a truck when she caught a glimpse of Eddie’s uncle, Wayne, stepping in the gym, she stopped in her tracks, not knowing what to say or do, she obviously couldn’t tell him the truth, nor confirm that he was missing, she wouldn’t be able to lie to him, but he also couldn’t just not know where his nephew was. 

He would probably recognize her from the many nights she spent crashing at his trailer, but what exactly could she say to him. She was livid, rightfully so, she handed her box to another volunteer nearby and followed him inside. 

He was pinning Eddie’s missing poster —or replacing it as people had drawn horns on his head— on a board that was already so full, unconsciously, her hands started to fidget, her fingers picking on the skin around her nails, while her gaze was on Wayne. 

Dustin’s eyes fell on her as he was handing water, he followed her look and saw Wayne, he understood immediately her dilemma, he put down the platter and started hobbling towards her.. when they were all surprised with a thunderstorm. 

Everyone had stopped what they were doing, an unsettling silence taking place as a second thunderstorm shot through the sky.

Everyone rushed towards the windows or outside, where they all could see some black smoke or cloud, they weren't sure, the atmosphere started to thicken already but they couldn't feel it yet. 

The dark clouds —they appeared thicker than plain smoke— carried more red thunderstorms, the worse was the snow size particles —the same one from the Upside Down— falling from the dark clouds,  that's when they knew it was already happening.

She rushed inside, the only one to move through the crowd outside observing the scene, she looked for and met Steve, both with a very serious face as they looked for the others and hurried back to her house.

Back at her house they waited for the others to be back, Dustin sat on the couch, next to her, his good leg wouldn't stop moving up and down in apprehension.

Robin was the one pacing up and down, under the very stressed pair of eyes belonging to her and Steve, Eddie sat in the stairs watching the front door.

Apprehension, stress and fear radiated from all of them. They were experiencing similar thoughts, it was spiralling, their minds on neverending wheels. 

Stress and anxiety crippling in, watching Robin pace up and down in her living room was like torture, her brain was playing the events from before and the what ifs. So many what ifs. 

Her right leg had also started going up and down, her hands fidgeting involuntarily, from where she sat she could see the garage door open, where she had put some essentials in boxes with Eddie. 

After staring at that door for what felt like eternity she suddenly stood up and went straight to the laundry room where she was scavenging for backpacks, loudly, under Steve's confused eyes.

He dared asking her what she was doing —very fair question— to which she screamed she wouldn't do this again.

Another thunderstorm and her body went frigid, she turned around, backpacks under her arms.

“We need to pack essentials–backpacks!,” Steve had opened his mouth but she stopped him right there. “Listen, I want to be wrong so badly, but those dark clouds, the thunderstorms, the fucking spores coming from the sky, all of this comes from the Upside Down, which is fucking starting to spread.”

She stopped to catch her breath, her eyes softened, looking right at Steve, he sensed what she meant.

“I get you. I do. But we need to wait for the others, wait for them to–”

“What if they're not coming? What if we need to move quickly? I know I'm new at.. all of this, but Steve, I have a really bad feeling about this,” she ended up whispering the last bit, her concern evident on her face and in her voice. 

It was her eyes, they told him something else, but he couldn't put a finger on what exactly her eyes were asking of him. He felt her concern, but what else was there? 

“What if they are coming? Maybe it hasn't travelled to that part of the forest.. what I mean is.. we should wait for Nance,” her name fell on his lips like a resolution, like it was a finality. 

Like he took the decision for them.

It didn't sit right with her.

“So what, we're supposed to wait for them— for Nancy to make our plans when absolutely anything could happen? What if the gates opened further and waves of Demogorgons just invaded Hawkins? Are we still waiting for Nancy then?!”

Eddie stepped from the stairs and was stepping towards the living room where a corridor led to the laundry room.

His eyes met Dustin's, at this point she was talking very loudly, all of them could hear their argument.

“Are we also waiting for Nancy to save us when those bats will rummage through Hawkins? Biting, eating, strangling everyone to their imminent deaths?,” she paused, stepping closer to Steve, feeling rageful by the minute, completely lashing out at him.

“Or let's wait for that gigantic shadow monster to take control of everyone and they've all turned into an apocalyptic zombie movie? Let's wait when there's nothing we can do!”

”Let's wait for Nancy to save us, our Lord and saviour! We wouldn't be here without her would we? You know what, you're right, we're going to patiently wait for her and hope for the best!”

She aggressively pushed Steve out of her way, storming out into her room, pacing up and down as she was unable to contain her anger.

She tried sitting on her bed but she couldn't stay put. 

Downstairs, Steve was shocked, taken aback, lashing out like that wasn't like her. He was confused. 

His hand nervously travelled through his hair, a trembling breath escaping his lips. 

His feet slowly moved to the living room, where three pairs of eyes were expecting him, all questioning what had happened. 

He was about to open his mouth but he stopped himself, what would he say? what would he tell them that could, potentially, explain what happened?

Nothing, because he didn't know. 

He didn't understand what just happened.

He was about to dismiss what happened when they heard the sound of glass breaking upstairs, his brain moved faster than his muscles, he stopped himself in his tracks, she probably didn't want to see him right now if she was so mad at him.

He sent a knowing look at Eddie, who silently agreed to go upstairs, on his way up, a couple steps in they felt a slight movement in the house, an earthquake.

It lasted a couple minutes, small enough to feel it, to make the furniture vibrate but nothing much.

They all stopped, waiting for something else, something that never came, so he stepped further to her bedroom, while Robin had ran to the closest windows that showed the street.

Nothing had changed, there were more dark clouds, and the same amount of thunderstorms, same red colour, nothing had really changed and it had already gotten dark outside.

There were no evident signs that something was happening. Yet.

Eddie opened the door and found her sitting on her bed, a cloth around her hand, dotted in red colour. 

He looked around but found no evidence of broken glass, until he approached the bathroom, and found her broken mirror,  shards of it everywhere in the sink.

He turned around and finally met her gaze, a sigh left his lips as he sat next to her, his hands wrapped around her palm, and tried to uncover the cloth to see how bad it was. 

The cuts were still bleeding, he couldn't see much, but he covered it back and sighed, his eyes met hers' once again.

There's nothing he could say that would make her feel better, so he wrapped his arm around her shoulders, brought her closer to him, his lips ghosting over her hairline.

“We'll get through this,” he finally whispered, the top of his head resting against her's, his hand gently caressing her arm.

“We have to get through this. I promise I will do anything to protect us, I brought you back, I'm not wasting my efforts."

He trusted her, he knew he could trust her with his life, she had already proven that, he didn't know if he could promise it back, he would try though.

When the small earthquake shook Hawkins and everyone waited anxiously to see if anything would happen.. it should have been their signal to leave, plan something, seek shelter or even better leave Hawkins altogether. 

The portals had opened further, vines were the first thing that went through, their roots were already running deep in the soil and the asphalt, travelling further into the city, the sun setting earlier in the day was an omen for them, they were hiding in the obscurity of the night setting.

Oftentimes revealed by the red thunderstorms, went unnoticed as no one dared to leave their houses.

Another earthquake shook Hawkins then, much more intense than the first one when the four gates opened, the ground was completely ripped apart, more houses destroyed, demolished, most of the city was in shambles. 

Roads were destroyed, markets, pharmacies and shops were barely able to handle the shock. The hospital.. the south and east wings were in ruins, on fire, the north and west wings were still holding on but not for very much longer.

There were more fires spreading, more red thunderstorms, more spores. More blood and bodies already started to pile up.

A swarm of demobats entered first, silent as they were lurking in the darkness, small shrieks echoing in the sky were the evidence of their presence.

Then, the first of many Demogorgon passed through, letting out a strident shriek in the night.

It had started.

[stevefromupsidedown]

FAÇADE — Pt, four : the four chimes • steve harrington x f!reader

synopsis: it's time for.. what exactly? warnings: fem!reader with she/her pronouns, deaths, blood, gore and violence, references to mental health issues and low self esteem, very heavy on the angst, very little comfort, basically reader's the worst pessimist, very introspeetive, references to sexual themes, 18+ ONLY, (overall warnings for the series, read at your own risk) This material is @takemetothelakes-poets' property

PT, FIVE | SERIES MASTERLIST | CHAPTER PLAYLIST

“Steve, she’s not waking up!,” she screamed in panic as she shook Nancy, holding her arms in her hands, her voice trembling and her eyes widened in worry, she looked at Steve, desperate.

From Eddie’s living room in the Upside Down he stood under the gate, “We can’t leave her here, guys, hurry! We need some music quickly!” 

They heard quick movements, Erica, Eddie and Robin yelling, they exchanged places, Steve cupping Nancy cheeks in hopes to gently shake her awake, while she paced under the gate, hands almost scraping her scalp off.

“Nancy, c’mon come back to us, now!”

His hands moved from her cheeks from her shoulders, just like she had earlier, he tried to shake her, whispered her name so low only the three of them could hear.  In a minuscule moment she could see a single tear run down his cheek, his eyes met her rapidly as she paced impatiently.

“We need to think of something else, I don't think Eddie has anything she listens to.”

“Like what?” 

Steve put himself at Nancy’s level, his eyes staring at her rolled back white eyes, repeating her name in a shaky voice as his hands frantically shook her arms. She was pacing behind him, thinking, wheels spinning behind her eyes, rubbing her face in frustration. 

“Something’s wrong, it’s not like when Max was in there,” Steve whispered softly, his body retreating back a bit, a frown on his face, he was opening his mouth to continue but Nancy suddenly came back to reality in a gasp, big frightened eyes. She was out of breath, and lost balance in Steve’s arms. 

He whispered words of comfort as he laid her on the mattress delicately.  She closed her eyes and caught her breath, while she was in the back, her frightened eyes and the stiffness of her body was concerning to her. What could she possibly have seen that could be so terrible her body had a visceral reaction to fear? What happened? 

Nancy got up, she muttered something she didn’t get, and went for the rope, Steve helping her. 

When she landed on the mattress, Steve let out a shaky breath of relief, and turned to her but she cut him off, retreating back to let him go first.

He frowned, but obliged, he didn’t want to make a fuss, so he approached the rope and pulled himself up, grunting from the pain he felt from his bandaged sides. He was certain it would bleed again, but what other chance did he have?

He landed on the mattress in a swift motion, a small wince stuck in his closed mouth as Eddie helped him up.

When it was clear to go she gripped the rope in her hands, and with a loud exhale she pulled herself up, and gosh did it hurt.   

She hung onto the rope tightly, and pulled herself up, ignoring the pain, the soreness and aching of her muscles. She felt the gravity of the Upside Down pulling her down when she went through the gate. 

Hawkins’ gravity was also pulling her down but she was upside down, in the middle of it she literally felt torn between the two places’ gravity. Yeah, that shit could mess up with anyone’s head. She let go of the rope and let herself fall on the mattress.

“Shit,” she muttered as she fell on her ass in a swift motion, “that’s kinda fun.”

Eddie and Steve both got down, a smile on the metalhead’s lips as their hands enrolled under her armpits, and pulled her towards them.

Dustin hadn’t fully realised it, but once he acknowledged her in Eddie’s living room, with all of them involved in the Upside Down business, it’s like she had come from nowhere, he frowned, “Hang on a minute, what are you doing here? Coming from there?” 

“Huh, it's—complicated. I got myself stranded in the Upside Down for three days, then found them and.. well.. here I am,” she admitted as she let go of each of their hands, an unconscious thought made her hand move to her side that hurt as Dustin kept going.

“I’m sorry, what? How?”

“I went through one of the gates, on my way in Hawkins, um— where Fred was killed, and.. well, I found them when they got stranded too. It’s a really long story Dustin and I’m afraid we may not have time for that right now,” her eyes followed Nancy as she was leaning on the wall, a hand pressed around the side of her face in.. anxiety? Uneasiness? She was difficult to read.

“Nancy, are you okay?” 

“Yeah, I just—… I need a minute,” Nancy whispered, a straight line appeared quickly on her lips as an attempt to smile, but it was replaced by a sombre frown. 

Dustin silently agreed on not commenting furthermore, everyone chose not to note that they knew each other before, it wasn’t that important, but, everyone did agree on leaving Eddie’s trailer for Max’s. 

The silence was getting thick, uncomfortable, only Nance spoke, explaining what she saw in her trance per Steve’s request. To put it quickly, the destruction of Hawkins, the literal End of the World, the original gates destroying the earth to form four branches of the gate, big enough to let monsters pass through easily, everywhere in the city. Families torn apart, dead. Fire, pain, so much blood. 

It almost gave her a new wave of nausea, all this chaos was like the Upside Down but multiplied. It was such a nightmare. A terrible, dreadful nightmare. 

And while Nancy was determined to end it all and go back, Steve and Eddie were protesting, Dustin was topping Nancy’s idea, to which, Robin added some more protests. Max, Lucas and Erica were listening to the arguments thrown at everyone’s faces. 

Soon enough the living room was full of voices trying to have the last word, she silently grew more tired of it, the headache brewing stronger from everything that's happened thus far when suddenly a new thought appeared wildly in her brain: was she really part of this group?  Would her opinion be listened to? 

Sat in between Lucas and the end of the couch, she let her back fall deeper into the back, her eyes met Max’s more than once and it appeared clear to her that the teenager wanted nothing more than to say something but wouldn't dare to. 

With the realisation that she wasn't the only one not daring to speak her mind, her eyes fell on Nancy and Steve arguing on going back to the Upside Down, she heard Nancy say something about needing to go back in a matter of hours sent goosebumps of terror to her body.

With her fingers rubbing the downfall of the events from her face away, she heard her own voice speak up, “Excuse me, Nancy, but no. There’s no way. We barely made it alive. It’s suicide! We did not just survive to tempt death once again. No!”

The young woman turned to face her, as she was about to counter, but she cut her off, “Actually, I survived there for three days. I got myself strangled, bitten off, hunted down and not to do it again. I haven’t add a proper shower, meal and sleep in almost four fucking days. So, marinate your idea, think it through, but we’re not doing that today.” 

“We all need some rest, and it’s the middle of the night, let’s shower, eat, sleep and tomorrow morning we’ll be in a better mindset to think it through. Meanwhile, Max, is it?— can keep holding onto Kate Bush for one more night, what do you think?,” She said as her eyes moved slightly towards the redhead, then Nancy, awaiting her response, clearly she wasn't thrilled but she knew she was right.

“Fine, but we’re not leaving anyone alone,” the two locked eye contact, she was unsure what to read in Nancy’s eyes, and Steve interrupted.

“Okay, how are we doing that? My car is at your place and your’s is alongside the forest to the lake! And whose house are we barging in?” Steve asked.

“Mine, my parents are not home, they rarely are plus it’s closer than your house, Steve.” 

And I don't want the memory of us in that house but she refrained from saying it out loud, and kept going through a tight throat, “My car’s not far. I can drive you to Nancy’s car to get the second group,” she thought aloud, Nancy nodded, they both left with Dustin, Steve and Eddie towards her car through the woods behind the trailer park. Where Fred had gone. 

Quickly they reached the car and she realised she lost the keys in the Upside Down, that is until Eddie showed one of his hidden talents, lock-picking and jump-started the car. 

They drove to where Nancy had left her car, she quickly left to retrieve her vehicle, Dustin had called shotgun to sit in the front seat and wasn't stopped by either young men who rolled their eyes at the teenager.

Both cars started and Nancy pulled away to follow the trailer park’s road while she drove away to her house, silence filled the vehicule.

Her eyes met Steve’s a few times in the rearview mirror, but she never said much. Once she was parked in front of her house she took the spare key from a hidden stone in the garden and opened the front door.

After washing their hands —the Upside Down was such a nasty place—, she asked Eddie and Dustin to look for spare sleeping bags in the garage and for Steve to follow her to the guests’ bedroom to grab extra pillows and blankets for the sleeping bags. 

Steve awkwardly stood beside her, taking whatever she was handing him without a word, even though he really wanted to say something, anything, but where to begin? So he stayed quiet, offered a tight lipped smile and followed her directives.

Nancy, Robin, Max, Lucas and Erica arrived as Eddie and Steve had left to shower quickly, spare clothes in hands.

Eddie had taken her parents' bathroom so Steve had taken the direction of her bedroom and the place was insanely familiar, nothing had changed, except all the polaroids she had taken of them— all gone.

He was taken back to all the moments they spent in her bedroom, and the last one to date had such strong mixed feelings, he almost felt.. unsafe ? 

He was unable to move at first, too taken back by his mistakes, his head hung low as his eyes were stuck on the bed they had shared, he could remember the giggles, the soft touches, the kisses, the moans, he felt himself gripping tighter the clothes in his hands, until all memories were evaporated by the sound of the door opening and her frame appeared.

Hand on the doorknob, she stopped dead in her tracks and their eyes met, unable to form a coherent sentence, he cleared his throat, his Adam apple throbbing. He left to her bathroom, teary eyed.

Fingers twitching the doorknob nervously, her eyes closed in shame. Steve’s presence in her room, given the nature of their past relationship, and whatever was left, gave her such a bittersweet taste in the back of her mouth, she was so shameful. 

The sound of the water running and the clutter of teenagers navigating in her house brought her back to reality, then Eddie’s voice followed. 

She reassured him that she was alright and quietly asked him to start on making food for everyone, he nodded and offered a tiny smile as he called for Robin to follow up in the bathroom.

She heard the movements in the kitchen and walked to her parents’ room to grab the emergency medical supplies his father had stacked there, only taking what she needed for both Steve and her. 

She retreats back to her bedroom, Steve's still in the shower, she puts away what she needs to make their dressings and lazily looks for oversized clothes.

As she tries to get her shirt off, she realises the task may be harder than expected, her wounds so stiff and tight on her skin she has no choice but to stretch the wounds.. and that hurts like a bitch.

She tries her hardest to be as quiet as possible, she merely forgets Steve’s in the bathroom until she hears the bathroom door open and he’s facing her bare back, riddled with bruises, scabs, dried blood.

Some bruises have a weird shape and shade to them, which makes Steve immediately feel guilty because this is exactly what he wanted to avoid.

She turns around, only in her bra, her shirt left in her arms as she was getting rid of it, the makeshift bandage around her stomach, him shirtless that's showing every cut, abrasions and biting he endured. It feels surreal.

The tearful look he gives her immediately hurts her, she sees in his eyes the sort of pity she profoundly hates, without a word she lets her shirt fall on the ground, trying her hardest to remain calm, she misunderstands his facial reactions and he can see that. 

Her shoulders fell, her eyebrows slightly scrunched together, she was trapped in her head in waves and waves of misunderstanding and hurt; he did something that surprised him at first, but after some thought, it only felt normal. 

He closed the distance between them and immediately took her in his arms, circling her shoulders, holding her softly to not make it worse for her. What surprised him more was that she had immediately circled his waist too, palms sprayed out in the less wounded parts of his back. 

No words were spoken, it was unnecessary, only their warmth spoke for themselves. His lips ghosting her forehead, he sensed she was crying softly by the droplets falling on his chest and the rhythm of her shaking body.

He let himself succumb to his emotions, tears falling freely and joining hers’, whispering in a low voice, only for her to hear, “I’m so sorry.” 

They stayed quiet, hadn't dared to leave eachother’s arms, until they heard Robin shouting for Nancy to shower, and they were suddenly made aware of their surroundings.

With one last teary eyed look she took her clothes and headed towards the bathroom, Steve sat down, trying to sort his thoughts, surrounded by all the souvenirs of them.

She didn’t waste a minute to get undressed, she could almost feel all the dirt stuck on her skin, and now that she was facing her naked body in the mirror, she could see everything.

The dirt, the bruises, small cuts, dried blood. The worst was the wound under the makeshift bandage, the skin was so tight she wouldn't be able to remove it unless it was soaking wet.

She watched the dirt wash down the drain, the foam running clearer, she decided to get rid of the bandage when it felt heavy, soaking wet, and the scab underneath, softer. 

She untied the knot and slowly peeled it off with some of the softened scab, she winced and let out a pained moan. She threw the bandage on the cold tiles, fresh blood running on her leg to the water. 

She cut the water and stepped out, hurried to grab a gauze she had prepared to stop the bleeding, she took slow and steady breath as she put pressure on it, her eyes accidentally drifted to the mirror, and she looked at what her body now looked like. 

She felt the bruises from the aching of her muscles, the soreness of her skin, small cuts almost everywhere, and the wound on her side. She was torn between pride and disgust. 

Pride because she had survived alone without any knowledge of the place, the creatures, and she made it, but she also felt disgusted by her reflection, so much so that she put a towel on the mirror to cover it, her fingers uneasy, partially bloody.

She removed the gauze once she had put on a comfortable bralette, letting the wound out in the open as she finished drying herself off and put on her clothes except for the shirt as she needed to do her dressing. Leaving her damp hair to dry off on its own. Brushing her teeth felt like heaven, finally being able to get rid of the disgusting taste in her mouth.

She left her bathroom and was met with Steve’s face looking her way as she stepped around her room, he was patiently waiting, he had taken the medical supplies needed and had brought them to her bed.

In some silent understanding, he lied down and she started on his wounds, cleaning it with saline and soap, wrapped them up in clean dressings and bandaged it all up across his waist, all in complete silence, or with gentle apologies whenever she hurt him.  Focus written on her face, he couldn’t stop staring at her, she was so precise and attentive. 

“Where did you learn all of this?” he whispered softly, as he watched her work around his waist. 

“I did tell you I was in Indianapolis for Community College, but what I left out is I’m in a paramedical course, I… hope to be a nurse. I went through the First Aid Advanced Training.”

“That's— I can see it. The caretaker side of you.”

Their eyes briefly met, but she didn't answer, she didn't know what to feel about this. She watched him rise from the bed to put on his shirt, his movements slowing to pass his head through, she watched his eyes shut tightly, his eyebrows scrunching for a few seconds at the pain.

She expected him to leave but he stayed closer, his eyes on her wound on the right side of her stomach, uneasiness growing deeper in the pit of her stomach, “You’re all good, you—..”  

 “Let me help you,” he interrupted her, she tried to ease her breathing, anxiety eating at her senses, feeling her ribcage getting tighter by his prolonged presence, “I can do it, it’s fine.” 

“I know you can. I want to help you—” he started as their eyes locked, sincere eyes just staring at her, “—just tell me what to do.” 

She nodded slowly, a bit struck by his demand, “Okay,” she murmured as he sat back down, she aligned her body to his, hesitantly stepping further until they were closer so that he was at an arm's distance from her.

She guided him step by step, wincing silently, her eyes closed and tightly shut when in pain, ignoring the way his eyes drifted towards her face here and there, her left hand would rest on his shoulder to help her standing still.

Just like her, he was attentive to her guidance, muttering soft apologies as he cleaned the wound. Wrapped up and bandaged; his fingertips tenderly longed on the bruises above her waist and the bandage, the pads of his fingers tickling her skin.

He took the shirt she had left on the bed and handed it to her, slowly she put it on, cursing mentally at the pain driving her senses crazy.

He watched the pain shut her eyes and jaw close, her breathing stopped momentarily, instinctively his fingers approached and fell on her knee, as if touching her would distract her or show his compassion.

She exhaled as she opened her eyes, and his fingers left to rub the sweatpants he had been given, his eyes looked up to her. In the most delicate voice, he said, “I mean it.. what I said earlier.. I am sorry.” 

She inhaled deeply, bracing herself for the conversation they're about to have, “I know you are, Steve.” 

He thought that this was it, there's nothing more he can say to make things better, because he cannot offer more explanations or excuses, he looked down at his hands on her skin, his eyebrows slightly scrunched together.

“I understand where you're coming from, and I understand your intentions were not to hurt me, but it did, and I don't know.. it’s all so.. it's all so much. I don't even feel like myself anymore.. I just..— I just don't know anything anymore.” 

He nodded slowly, at a loss for words he didn't know what to say, perhaps he was the one who could understand her the best, having been through it too, “I just hope you know you can count on me, I’m not— I’m choosing not to leave you behind so if you’ll allow it, I’ll be by your side, in whatever way you need me to be.” 

His eyes were so intense it sent her body to overdrive, seating next to him, their eyes never left each other's, her hand grabbed his and messily tightened her fingers over the back of his hand, “Thank you.” 

Their eyes spoke for themselves, both on the edge of crying as Steve's lips quivered, they were interrupted quite abruptly by Eddie’s voice screaming from the kitchen that they could come down to eat.

Their moment killed by the metalhead, they rose from the bed at the same time and with a final mutual understanding through their eyes and a tiny smile on their lips, they descended down and met everyone else already munching on some mac and cheese and peanut butter sandwiches they had made. 

While they ate Dustin had asked more details about her walkabouts in the Upside Down, so she told them what happened, but was pretty elusive with it overall, she had no desire to live those events all over again, and the looks on their faces was another motivation to omit some of it.

The sorry eyes she could see on Max’s face was something she profoundly hated, and the admirative energy in Dustin’s words was something she felt unworthy of, with no energy in her being she simply shrugged and managed to shift the conversation elsewhere. 

She was quiet and pretty absent for the remaining time before she left to her bedroom to sleep, being evidently exhausted, the others did the dishes and separated to rest as well.

Engulfed in her blankets she could hear the teenagers debating on who would take which corner of the room, but it all quickly stopped when Eddie interrupted them by reminding them they weren’t on fucking holidays to enjoy themselves like this being so noisy.

It made her smile before falling asleep quite shortly as she heard more noise coming upstairs and Steve peeked in her room to make sure she was alright before walking back downstairs and taking his blanket to lie on the couch, soon enough everyone was fast asleep.

 Windows covered in mist, the room was so warm she almost felt her own body melting in the hot water. The room was softly lit by the candles burning not far from them, the light smell of them created an amorous atmosphere. 

She could almost feel at peace, like she could sleep in his arms in this hot bath. 

That is until she felt one warm hand travelling on her stomach, a lingering pair of lips gently pecking on her neck. 

Goosebumps rose on her skin as his fingertips were travelling further down her body, his other hand pressing more on her waist to hold her down against his nude body.

It was the beginning of December, it was extremely cold outside, Steve’s parents were, as usual, absent, and his house had a giant master bathroom.  With a bathtub.

Her train of thoughts was disrupted when his fingertips started drawing slow patterns on the most sensitive nubble of nerves in between her legs, his other hand moved from her waist to her thigh, keeping her legs open for him.

She had closed her eyes, her head tilted back on his shoulder, her lips halfway open to let out a breath. 

His lips had the pleasure of attacking her neck, and her shoulder.  His eyes never left her face, observing very closely her lips, the frown on her eyebrows disappearing to become one of relief.   Her hands gripped at his arms, her nails digging slowly as the pleasure was building up in a tight knot in her abdomen.

Her left leg moved, almost blocking the way, his hand held her thigh from the inside and forcefully moved it a bit, widening her legs more for him,“You’re not there yet, I know it,” his raspy voice murmured to her ear.

It sent shivers to her core, breathing in deeply, when his hand pushed her thigh apart completely over his own leg, his hand meeting the soft nubble of nerves to pump a finger in her, slowly.

“Steve…,” her breath quickened, her nails digging deeper in his arms.  She was a quiet mess, and he wanted her so badly to be more loud but he didn’t want to pressure her.

The combination of his fingers pumping in and out of her and the fingertips playing with her sent her to her own cloud nine.  His rhythm was so slow, it was excruciating, but oh so good. 

Her head completely thrown back on his shoulder, she looked at him through orgasm drunk eyes. Her lips swollen at her persistence to keep the moans quiet by biting her lip. 

When the knot seemed to grow even more tighter, she felt it so close, that suddenly it was like an explosion in her lower abdomen. Her body was in complete disharmony as she started shaking, breathless, her eyes and thighs closed shut, his hands surrounded her thigh and her waist as she rode her high, engulfed in Steve’s neck.  

Her hands were holding onto him tightly, her breath hitting his skin in an erratic pattern, he held her tighter, pecking here and there at her warm skin, until his lips met hers in a kiss, he couldn’t stop kissing her, he would never be able to stop, the touch of her lips gave him such a craving to have more of her. 

She rose from the covers in a cold sweat, panting for breath, she felt her body getting hotter as the images lingered in her mind, embarrassed that she would think like this, dream like this.

Looking around her she struggled to recognise her surroundings given the obscurity around her but all the memories of the previous days resurfaced and she fell back in her bed, her gaze lost on the wall. She doesn't know how long she stared at that wall, but she drifted off to sleep a second time.

The morning came and the unanimous idea to get a bigger vehicule imposed itself, it was a false good idea, or a false bad idea, depending on the perspective.

Eddie left the house wearing a bandana to cover his face and sunglasses, accompanied by Nancy, Steve and her —Robin stayed to watch the kids— were going to the trailer park to get to Eddie’s idea, which he wouldn’t say what it was and then they would get the kids back.

Eddie kept on insisting on not telling his idea until the quartet found themselves in a stolen trailer anxiously driven by Steve. 

“Seriously Munson, I hate you so much sometimes,” she said, her eyes shooting up daggers in the metalhead direction seated in front of her, the brightest smile on his face at her, winking.

Rolling her eyes at him but with a contagious smile she got up to take the walkie talkie and warned the kids they were close.  When everyone was reunited in the caravan, Steve started driving off to the store, avoiding the roadways. 

Everyone was pretty focused on the road, retreated in the back, talking here and there. She, on the other hand, was deep in her thoughts about the events that would soon take place.

This Vecna guy had to know something was planning itself since he couldn’t get Max, and he hadn’t cursed another teen, he wanted her and he wasn’t letting her go… Not to forget Nancy’s vision.

She had a really bad feeling about it.

Eddie, Lucas, and Dustin were the one who had to stay in the caravan given their obvious connection with the Hellfire Club, in case Jason and his psychotic friends were there, they needed their trip to the War Zone to be as smooth as possible.

They separated, Nancy was looking for two rifles and ammunition, Steve and Robin kerosene to make Molotov cocktails, Max and her were seeking out knives and nails to make spikes, and whatever clothes they could find to create some sort of protection.

She didn't expect the errand in the store to be quiet but she certainly didn't expect Max to talk about the elephant in the room, “You’re the girl Steve was seeing last year, aren't you? Like, his ‘serious seeing girl’?”

“His what?”

Max shut her eyes quickly and seemed to curse herself, annoyed like she had let out a secret, she opened her eyes and directly faced her “Steve was seeing someone last year, around Halloween, he never told us her name, only that it was serious and.. that he really loved her.. it was you, wasn’t it? I’ve seen the way he looks at you.”

“Um, yeah, we.. we weren’t official but we definitely were something.. Who chose that nickname?”

Max turned to the clothes, her hands going through the different sizes in leather jackets, “I did, Dustin doesn't like it, obviously, it’s not smart or sassy enough for him, but Steve wouldn't tell us your name so.. I.. I had to find something to stop calling you ‘her’ all the time.” 

Max was putting different types of vests in the cart, now observing the knives, she pulled one out of its sheath, staring at the blade under the light, she looked at her reflection through the blade.

“Why didn’t it work? If..—if you don’t mind me asking.”

As she thought of an answer, Max realised it grew quiet between the two, so she turned around, and realised she was deep in her thoughts before she looked back at her, “It’s complicated, and I’m not going to be that kind of person that tells you it’s a bigger person problem and dismiss it, because I don't even know how to make it sense to myself. We were something and I don't know what we are and what we could be, but I’m still attached to him. Max, is this about you and Lucas?” 

The redhead’s eyes widened, but she put a hand on her back and slowly patted in reassurance, “I’m not blind, I’ve seen the smiles and the stolen looks, I don't have any solid advice for you, but, if your situation isn't as complicated as mine, and if you have feelings for him, tell him, he deserves to know.” 

She smiled timidly, knowing her own advice could be applied to herself, but she decides on ignoring the voice that screams hypocrite! at her, and turned to the knives, “Let’s get the sharpest ones, shall we,” she murmured as she looked at the redhead, knife in hand. 

She looked around to see if the others had finished when her eyes stumbled to the front of the store where Nancy was handling a rifle, in what seemed like a tense and hostile conversation with Jason, leader of the basketball team and brat of the year.

He had grabbed the aim of the rifle Nancy held in her hands, she obviously couldn't hear but they were tense, her eyes met Steve's and they walked in sync to Nancy.

They arrived to their level as Jason was about to leave, Steve looked him up and down, the teenager opened his mouth to say something when Nancy armed her rifle and the sound it made alarmed him, ready to fire his ass out, “You guys are completely insane,” he muttered on his way out.

“We’re not the ones playing Inquisition, you ought to open a book or two, it should enlighten you,” she couldn't stop herself from biting back at him, he had momentarily stopped in his tracks, now looking like a deer caught by headlights, humiliated.

Him and his clowns left and they paid quite in a hurry to join the trailer and Steve drove them to an unoccupied field by the forest on their way to Hawkins. 

Everyone got in groups and got busy, Dustin and Eddie were making their shields spiked in nails for the bats, Erica and Lucas made the spears, Steve and Robin the Molotov cocktails, and Nancy, Max and her were arranging the rifles, sawing off the aim so they wouldn't be grabbed, its impact would be more lethal.

She had stayed quiet for the majority of the time since the ride back, not in annoyance or discomfort, just, letting herself rely on Nancy who knew what she was doing, having been through this before.

Her quiet presence next to Nancy’s had made the latter realise that she went through a lot in a much more condensed version of it, their friendship had completely exploded when Barbara disappeared and Nancy was close to a stranger to her then, dismissive and on edge at the same time.

Now that she understands what happened to Barbara, it’s like Steve, she doesn't know how to come back from it, all the insults she threw at Nancy’s face when they last talked, two years ago.

Nancy had finished sawing off the first rifle when she handed her the saw, sensing something was wrong by the look on her face, she whispered her name, catching her attention, “You’re okay?” 

She derailed from her train of thoughts and looked at Nancy, “Yeah, uh… —it’s… —I should have been there from the beginning. I knew Barb too, she was a friend, you were too, I… —I gave up on you so easily and you were fighting this off, and I…— I’m so sorry Nancy.” 

Consciously or not, her brain filled with all the reasons she could have given to Nancy on why she gave up so easily, but she wasn’t ready yet to admit she lets go first in fear of being given up.

It surprised Nancy in a good way, although she actually felt terrible for having her apologise when she was the one who lied, for good reason but still. It didn’t feel fair to Nancy to accept and offer simple excuses to a bigger problem, and it didn’t feel honest to her for not sharing the intricate reasons behind her reactions and choices.. the apologies were honest, but they were half-truths.

“I was never mad at you for it, you know, it made it easier, actually, I couldn’t bear lying to anyone who wasn’t involved.. Shutting yourself off from it..—it guaranteed your safety and it was an explanation or a lie I didn’t have to do. I preferred it that way… I still missed you though, and I am sorry too.”

She let out a shaky giggle out of nervousness, teary eyed as she stepped closer to Nancy, who continued “I’m glad you're there, I couldn’t hope for a better fighter by my side,” Nancy made the final step to embrace her old friend in her arms.

Max felt a bit out of place, until the two detangled themselves from one another, she offered a gentle smile to the redhead, and took the saw Max held her gun in place.

They talked lightly while Steve had his eyes on everyone, concerned, seeing Nancy and she had reconciled made him hope they could move forward in the future, minus all the traumatic events connected to the Upside Down, he had to have hope for them.

As individuals and eventually as more but it was capital for everyone else to have hope, the stakes felt too real for his liking. They've managed to survive through all of it, but he began to think that maybe they've used all their luck.

He was no genius but there was no way that the odds were in their favour every time, and now that the stakes felt too real and too big, it only meant to him that the consequences would be.. well, catastrophic. 

Despair and anxiety ate at him, he had felt responsible for everyone since he had been alongside Dustin, he didn’t want anyone to be hurt, or to die. He knows he can't save anyone, he’s less valuable than Dustin or Nancy who are much smarter than him, but he can't help but feel some responsibility for some of it. 

Robin could tell what was going in his head, the grim thoughts, and the deathly pessimism. The doubt written on his face, “We still have to try, don’t we?” she asked in a low voice, her hand automatically stopped pouring the kerosene in the bottles, Steve turned to face her, focused.

“Even if we have this gnawing feeling, we have to.. who’s going to anyway?” 

Their silence and demotivated eyes were speaking volumes to them, they didn't even believe in themselves but he was right, they had to.

“Even if we don’t come out alive.. so.. let’s cheer; to killing Vecna?” She asked her bottle in the air, Steve looked at her in the eyes, finding the same pessimism and despair, his can of kerosene met her bottle, “Slash One.” 

“Slash Henry.”

Their bottles clinked at the same time Max had finished sawing off the aim of the second rifle, blowing out the excess dust she turned to Max when she heard her voice, “Is that a felony?” 

She first looked at the redhead then her eyes met Nancy’s who seemed to have an answer already, “It probably is, and for the technical aspect of it we are guilty but we’re talking about the end of the world here, even if no one would believe us.. we still have to do this.” 

Everyone was equipped, dressed for the Upside Down and their task in the Creel house. The plan relied on three teams. Max, Erica and Lucas would be in the house, waiting to bait Vecna, using Max, which none of them were happy with, but they didn’t have any other choice.

Dustin and Eddie were to distract the bats to clear the house so that Nancy, Robin, her and Steve could get in without danger and do their best at killing Vecna. They all went through the phases of the plan multiple times, mostly to reassure themselves, until they drove to the house and let Max, Erica and Lucas go.

But not without a weapon.

She had given them the extra knives she had picked from the store, handed them both to Lucas and Max, “I think everyone can agree with me on this. You’re the bait Max, but you still need to be able to defend yourselves. Use it.” 

The pair looked at each other then at her, then at Steve behind her, nodding, “It’s just a precaution, but she’s right.” 

“Yeah, Jason and his friends are a threat, a very possible one, who knows, they could come around here, or not, just, don’t be afraid to defend yourselves, you’re as important as anyone else on this plan. Do you have a walkie, for when we’re done?” Nancy then added, appearing behind her. 

They didn’t have one so Nancy gave them one, made sure the frequency was the right one and that they had enough battery, “Be safe,” she said as she handed them the walkie. 

“You too,” Lucas responded as he took the walkie, he felt the weight on his shoulder and his chest heavier under the responsibility. Max and him felt the seriousness of the situation way too much, they wished they could live normal teenage lives, without the weight of saving the world on their chests every year. Each time being worse than the one before.

It’s a feeling they all experienced, and no matter what they could say, nothing would make it better because they couldn’t say anything, even the newcomers in the band, Eddie and her, could feel that shift in their lives. 

With a timid smile Max closed the door of the trailer and watched them leave. Even with Lucas and Erica by her side, she felt incredibly alone in front of the house, she felt so small, intimidated by it, like it carried an evil incarnate.

Breathing in, she stepped towards the front door, Lucas shared a glance with his sister, uneasy, but followed her closely. He felt like they were walking on a trap and he hated it.  He hated so much that he couldn’t take her place, he could only sit and watch, he hated that he was on the bench. He felt useless, and so lost. 

He knew he couldn’t afford to think like that, not when Max was baiting Vecna, Eddie and Dustin were also baiting the bats, and the four others were risking it all to kill Vecna, nothing could appease him. 

He had to wait and see. Watch out for the right time to pull her out of Vecna’s influence.

The Upside Down team arrived not far from where Fred had been taken, not far from the trailer park, they hid the trailer in the woods, and walked in the darkness towards Eddie’s trailer. 

Steve went through the gate first, everyone passed through with the equipment, Nancy followed and she really hopes she misreads the longing looks between Nancy and Steve as he helps her up. Eddie goes next and he's the one who helps her up, Dustin sends the last bit of equipment and Robin and him make their way down.

They rushed out of the trailer, and there it was again, the thick atmosphere, the particles floating around them, the darkness with the occasional flicker of red lightning. 

As they separated and were already walking away, Eddie’s voice broke through the air, only to realise that Steve hadn't joined them, it was inaudible for them until they walked back closer.

They heard the end of their conversation, Eddie asking Steve to make Vecna pay, then his eyes fell on Nancy and her, side by side.

“Ladies, may my sassiest regards flow through your deadly bullets,” Eddie exclaimed through his theatrical voice, a smile on the corner of his lips. 

“May the most metal concert ever be the best one yet in an alternate dimension,” she responded with a smile and they separated their ways.

Dustin and Eddie began to turn the trailer into a fortress, together they carried his amplifier to the roof, his guitar resting in its original place, like she stood on a podium. 

They were prepared for the most metal concert ever. 

As for the others —or the Suicide Squad as Eddie kept saying in the trailer as they made up their plan—, they were wandering through the woods, carefully avoiding the vines, flashlights in hands in a line, Robin first, then Nancy, Steve and to close the walk, her, rifle glued to her hands.

It was all silent, only their footsteps marching on the leaves were the only nearby sounds. Robin kept looking around her anxiously while Steve and Nancy were looking in front of them, focused on their conversation. She had no other choice but to ignore everything surrounding her, consumed by anxiety and fear, she couldn’t stop it from roaming freely in her brain, eating away at her.

Getting back in the Upside Down made her hypervigilant, she held onto hope that a creature wouldn’t find them, she didn’t want to relive her misadventures with the bats. Or worse, the four legged creature she stumbled upon once. Or nightmarish even, the gargantuan shadowy creature that seemed to lurk from a distance, she did not want to be close to it.

It made her extremely paranoid, and jumpy. Everyone stopped walking when Robin’s voice broke through the group, too loudly for their liking, sharing her thoughts that they were lost and immediately it made her on edge. Robin was openly anxious, dumping her anxieties on others whereas she was the strict opposite, it only fueled hers’. 

Even if Steve and Nancy told her they couldn’t be, she went off running, completely unwary of the vines. They continued walking, and she realised the red thunderbolts were flashing in the sky a lot more than when she was there alone the first time.

She stopped walking abruptly when a red thunderbolt struck through the sky, the shadow of the enormous monster revealed in the red light.  She gasped quite loudly, her flashlight dropping to the ground as the head turned to their direction, it was all shadow, but she felt a goosebump travelling her body, paralysed on the spot.

There were such mixed feelings with that creature, she felt terrified, watched so intently like it could read her mind, look through her cracks, it wasn't moving but to watch its head move towards their direction like it knew, like it were omniscient of the place, it horrified her.

It took her a few minutes to compose herself, and leaves cracking brought her back out of her trance. She kneeled down to grab her flashlight, getting up she stumbled upon another unpleasant sight.

Steve and Nancy were standing face to face, a longing-ish set of eyes looking at Nancy, a smile on his lips. A smile she knew so much, so contagious it used to make her grin, warming her body in a cozy and dreamy sort of way. 

It got her frowning, she didn’t want to fall under any fast conclusions but it was so easy, so close to reach, so already embedded in every fiber of her brain, responsible for her deepest insecurities and jealousies. She was on edge, hyper vigilant of any threat, so afraid of reliving her nightmares and here they were, flirting?! 

Was she just doomed to repeat it all, was she meant to be a rebound everytime? Why were her insecurities always used against her, causing so much harm? Was she not enough?

It made her blood boil of jealousy, anger, and fucking goddamnit. The delicate eyes she saw in Steve’s were enough to make her hold back on anything she hoped Steve could be.

Be by her side in whatever way she would allow him to be— what about a fucking trashcan, that would suit him well. 

She held onto her flashlight and her rifle a bit more tighter, and as Robin was retreating back she walked to where she came from, now opening the walk, shoulders tensed, the knuckles of her fingers almost turning white.

No one addressed her quietness and cold exterior, as they were mentally preparing for what they were about to do. They arrived by the house and hid in the small playground in front of it, where some red particles floated around, Erica was there. They signalled their arrival, and she warned Lucas to begin Max’s bait. 

They waited for Erica's signal on Eddie and Dustin’s distraction, in the distance they could hear Eddie’s amplifier playing the first notes, and she recognized Metallica’s newest ‘Master of Puppets’. She smiled a bit, remembering she had spent some time with the metalhead as he was attempting to learn it, the image burning vividly of his fingers roaming on the strings, her anger subsided.

In reality she didn’t know if it was Eddie or the stress setting in, and the realness of the situation clouding her brain, but they head towards the house her, and she feels herself retreating to concentration and her father’s words when he had taught her to use his hunting rifle.

Steve opened the door with a gasp, the sight of the vines crawling absolutely everywhere got her out of her anxious spiral, and on to another one, they barely had any space to walk, they would have to play fucking Twister in the Upside Down.

“This is the fucking worst, are you kidding me,” she muttered quietly, her eyes widened. 

“I second that, remember when I said I have poor movement coordination skills. This definitely applies,” Robin nervously added in a whisper. 

“It’s gonna be okay, just, pay attention and don’t rush, you’re gonna do great,” Nancy murmured back as she turned to look at Robin.

Steve went first, hopping on uncovered vine spots on the ground, Robin followed, then the two remaining, the sight was maddening, they looked like acrobats on a queue. Did anyone ask for Four clowns with a death wish?

They reached the stairs, still tip-toeing in any possible corner they could set foot onto, cautious as to where they put their hands on the handrail, also covered in crawling vines.  Finally on the top stairs, Steve reached for his axe in his backpack, and as they were going to step towards the attic, the earth started to shake, the four of them tried so hard to hold onto each other to not fall and let their presence be known. 

It was a massive failure because as soon as the earthquake stopped a vine crawled around Robin’s ankle, she flew to the wall, her arms already attached so she wouldn’t move, she tried to speak but her throat was already wrapped in a vine. 

They rushed to her side and tried to rid her of the vines, but it all happened so quickly, the three of them were also gripped by vines, tied to the walls, already suffocating, their weapons on the ground. 

Their struggled breathing was the only sound surrounding them. 

She felt her heart pulse through her ribcage, she could have sworn she could feel it along her temple and in her ears, her eyes locked on her rifle, laying on the wood floor, her hands are trying to untie the vines wrapped around her throat and a new set of living ropes capture her hands and force them down.

It finally dawns at her— her fate, their fate. She knew it, she knew they wouldn’t succeed and that it was all a giant mistake. The more they tried to move their arms and legs, the more the vine tightened up around their bodies.

She didn’t realise a tear escaped her eye at their upcoming deaths, her eyes fell upon Steve’s features, and she wished so much she hadn’t taken her car that day, that she hadn’t stopped next to one of those gates, and got caught up in all of this. 

Her vision started to blur and the edges darkened. She was starting to lose some sense of reality, she felt herself leave slowly because they weren’t killing them yet. They were suffocating but they still had one ounce of air in their lungs, gasping for more.

It felt like hours went when in reality it was minutes. Suddenly, out of nowhere, they felt the vines loosening their hold on them, completely dropping them on the ground, gasping loudly, desperately trying to get more air.

They coughed, they could hear a whistle through their vocal cords but they didn’t give up, they rose on their feet, grabbing their guns and geers on the way.

Steve briefly looked at her, her red eyes, the bruise around her throat darkened, it hurt her throat to talk so she stayed quiet and charged the gun in sync with Nancy. 

“C'mon,” whispered the latter, rifle in hands, determined to make it all end once and for all.

She opened the door to the attic, and without a sound they all stepped inside.

Vecna laid there, above the ground, vines seemingly attached to his back. He seemed to be in some trance, just like Dustin had said.

The skin looked burned by fire and putrefaction. His features were undistinguishable, only the inhuman traits were left out. He looked like he was made out of a nightmare himself. It caused fear, a paralysing sort of terror, goosebumps rising along their skin. Nancy and her shared a look, raising their guns to make the bottom rest against their chest to have a comfortable aim. 

They walked silently each on a side, Nancy on Robin’s and her on Steve’s, giving them enough space to throw the Molotov cocktails but still would be able to walk towards Vecna when they would fire.

Meanwhile Robin put out her backpack on the ground, her and Steve both took a bottle, he shared a look with them, awaiting any reactions. In the anxious silence Steve lit up his bottle and threw it at him, aiming perfectly as they had to make a step back from the fire exploding on Vecna.

The vines attached to his back burned, retreated back from his body like they felt the pain. His eyes opened and the image of his face was burning in the back of her mind, his whole existence was the beginning of a lifetime horrific nightmare. 

He stepped forward, engulfed in fire, but it didn’t faze him, on the contrary it determined and enraged him to stop them. Robin threw another inflamed bottle at him, he screamed in rage, stepping forward. 

In sync, they both started their guns, firing at the same time, the bullets made him retreat, the impact hit at full force, they also felt the fire back on their chests but they continued. 

The eyes they met in front of them were full of hatred, rage, starving for vengeance and violence.

They stepped closer, and with each step they fired, completely in the moment, even forgetting the presence of each other, only Vecna mattered, he was in front of them and he didn’t have any time to do anything because they kept shooting at him. 

With the fire back of the guns he was propelled through the window, and out into the front of the house, still inflamed.  They let out a breath they didn’t know they had held back.

They looked at eachother then at Robin and Steve, they rushed to the front porch, where his body was nowhere to be found, a frown appeared on their faces as they took a step forward.  

The ground appeared to have some burning spot, as well as the shadow of his burning body on the ground, “You think he’s dead?” Robin murmured, her voice broke the silence and made the girls jump in surprise. 

“He’s gotta be, right? You two were mercilessly shooting at him, he has to be dead.” 

“But why is his body not there?” Nancy retorted at Steve, like everyone was so confused but it’s not like they could look around, their charger was empty and they only had one Molotov cocktail left, so the fight would be unfair. 

“We’re not gonna look around for him, are we? We don’t have any bullets left and that creature in the sky gives me the heebie-jeebies,” she whispered as she pointed at it, it hadn’t gone closer, but it seemed like it was observing them, watching their every move from afar.

They followed what her finger pointed at and she saw Nancy’s face turn livid, like she knew what it was, “Nancy, what is that?”

“It’s the Mind Flayer, right?” Steve murmured as he turned to Nancy, and she nodded, “Do you also have the feeling that it’s looking at us?,” he continued as he looked back at it, the four of them were completely in a trance for a couple seconds, until Nancy turned around. 

“C’mon, let’s go back to Eddie’s trailer. The quicker we leave, the better, the way he’s not moving but kind of looking at us makes me… umh.. like there’s something happening.” 

The quartet left and walked their way back through the woods, while they hoped that everything had gone to plan, they were also very conscious that it probably hadn’t, one thing was sure, Max hadn’t died, because if she did the four gates would have opened an enormous one through the town. 

They also were unsure of Vecna’s fate, if he really was dead or not, and something in the way the Mind Flayer was observing them made them thought he wasn’t dead, he had escaped, and the second round would be more difficult, harder than the first round, deadlier, scarier and they really didn’t looked forward to that. 

Lost in their thoughts, facing the morbid silence of the Upside Down they arrived quicker than they thought and immediately reality caught up with them, Dustin was on his knees on the ground, weeping, his face turned to them at the sounds of footsteps. 

Their feet moved on their own and when she realised Eddie was in Dustin’s arms, eyes opened, but not blinking, she realised he was.. dead, and she rushed towards them, “What happened?” 

“We—we were surrounded by bats and when we ran to leave, he cut the rope, he left, said he would get you some more time.., I..—I don’t know what to do, he just.. he just stopped breathing” Dustin talked in sobs, his hands shaking holding Eddie’s side, his chest moving in waves as he cried more. 

She got on the floor, and quickly asked Dustin to help her, he let go of Eddie’s side, he listened to her instructions carefully, freed his airways as she started to do CPR on him.

The heel of her hand on his sternum began a rhythm of one heartbeat per one to two seconds, counting under her breath until she reached thirty and she breathed two times in his mouth. 

Nancy got next to her, telling her she could take her place when she needed, mentally counting she asked Nancy to apply pressure on some wounds that could contribute to making him lose more blood than needed while she kept going. 

Steve and Robin were completely frozen in place as they observed the scene before their eyes, there was nothing they could do except keep their distance and remain quiet, and it seemed like hours went on when really it didn’t, she had done CPR on him for approximately five to seven minutes when Eddie took a breathe in, his eyes blinked. 

Everyone gasped in shock, “Are you okay, how are you feeling?,” she asked, his face turned to her and she tried to take away his blood on her mouth from mouth-to-mouth, smudged it all across her lips and cheeks. 

“Like somebody who played Master of Puppets for a really ungrateful crowd,” he replied, his voice breaking at the end.

She laughed a bit and smiled, he still had his sense of humour, that was a good sign, but she was also conscious that they had to move him fast, she really didn’t want to do CPR on him again. 

She rapidly explained to everyone what her idea was, and they all agreed, so they started moving. 

Dustin left with Robin and Nancy through the gate in Eddie’s trailer while Steve and she carried Eddie through the short part of the forest to get to the gate on the road. It would be easier to get him to Hawkins that way as they wouldn’t have to pull him up, the physics of it all was a blur to her but what other choice did they have?

The gate on the road was closer than they had expected, making sure no creatures were around. They carried Eddie to the ground, she made sure he stayed conscious by getting him to talk. 

Through the gate they heard the caravan rumbling, she went first, her legs dangling through the other side she crawled on the ground and lied upside down in the gate, grabbing under Eddie’s armpits to get him through, stopping mid way to actually sit on the ground and pull Eddie against her.

Steve quickly followed and with him and Robin they put him in the van on the banquette in the back, Dustin remained at his side kept him awake while he explained what happened to Max as he heard Erica yell code red when they were on their way out through Eddie’s trailer.

Nancy drove them to the Creel’s house quickly, where they found Erica almost running to the middle of the road. She looked frightened, but relieved that they were there.

Erica explained what happened, how Lucas had used the knives to make Jason leave, pretending to be in a psychotic sort of episode, using that to his advantage but it got him to miss the cues on Max’s trance. Fortunately, their attack on Vecna and Eleven’s assault in her mind slowed down so only her legs were broken. 

Final point being that they needed to get Max to the hospital. Her legs were completely broken, she was alive but in severe pain.  

They had to think quickly, there were no nearby phones and they couldn’t just abandon them and leave unsupervised for an unknown matter of time. Carrying Max was impossible because of the pain and the severely broken legs. They had to transport her differently, and that’s when she remembered. 

Her car was in Eddie’s trailer park, which was twenty-five to thirty minutes away from the Creel house on foot, the closest one with a drivers’ license was Steve so she pulled him in the side, “Near Eddie’s trailer park, find my car, come back. You can pull down the backseats for more space, you’ll take Max and Dustin to the hospital okay? And Eddie hijacked it so you don’t need the keys—I just it’s still there..” He nodded, ignored her last comment and sprinted off.

With the help of Dustin and Nancy they made a makeshift stretcher using sheets and broomsticks they hunted down. The sheet was tied tightly around the handle of the broomsticks, and boom, they had a stretcher, not hospital worthy, but still. 

Getting back in the attic they put the stretcher next to her, “Okay, Max, it’s going to be super painful, but Lucas and I will hold your legs, Robin and Nancy will support your upper body. We’ll get you to the hospital okay?”

She cried more in pain and nodded, on three they all supported her body to sit her on the stretcher, she helped using her arms.

Getting her down the stairs wasn’t as easy as she had hoped for, but they managed to get her down and into the entrance hallway, waiting for Steve.  

He arrived quickly, parked the car quite messily and he hurried to put down the seats in the back while they carried Max on her stretcher and transported her to the car. Lucas and Dustin sat next to her, and Erica was sitting on the front seat, next to Steve, he paused in front of the trailer and turned to her, “Is the walkie gonna work all the way to the hospital? I gotta tell you all about what the doctors say.” 

They turned to Dustin, who had turned the window down when he saw them talk, “I don’t know, the hospital is pretty far..”

“You still have my house number, right?”  

“Yeah, yeah I know it. I’ll call you there, I’ll let you know what’s going on, and when we’re able, we’ll go back to your house.”

The two vehicles left at the same time and parted ways quickly, arriving by her house, Nancy and her helped Eddie inside as Robin opened the doors, and thank God for the night sky because in broad daylight they would have so much lies to tell. 

She preferred walking Eddie upstairs, in her room, he could easily be hidden upstairs, Nancy was behind them supporting his back and she had her arms around him to guide his way up, he was very weak but he used his last strength to walk upstairs.

She asked Nancy and Robin to get rid of the clothes on him and keep him awake, while she ran to her parents’ room to get the box full of medical supplies, she thoroughly washed her hands in her bathroom.

Eddie was awake but felt weakier, she could see the intensity of his wounds, he was bitten on both his thighs, on each side of his abdomen, around his shoulder and around his throat. Some of his injuries were only superficial, but others were… worrying her. 

Especially his thighs and his left side, Nancy had done her best to compress the skin to stop the bleeding, but as soon as she took out the cloth, it started again. 

She used unused sponges and gauze pads to stop the bleeding on his thighs, and applied pressure on his left side. Her mind and body was working in an automatic mode, having done a few days in first aid, she knew what to do, up to a certain point of course. 

Robin’s voice broke her out of her focus, “Shouldn’t we get him to a hospital, this seems pretty serious and we’re not qualified, we need a doctor, or a nurse, I don’t know, but this–” 

“Robin, I can handle it. Look around the kitchen for bowls, fill them with water. In the main bathroom you’ll find washcloths, towels and unscented soap, please get those,” She interrupted, her hands tightly holding onto his side, feeling the thickness of the blood on her fingertips.

Robin stayed static for a couple more seconds, with Nancy’s eyes on her she rushed to the kitchen,

When Robin came back with what she needed, she asked Nancy to take her place on his side, to keep the pressure as strong as she could. She worked first around his throat, the wound was superficial, the bleeding had stopped on its own, she cleaned it up, applied a specific kind of dressing, covered it up and moved on to his abdomen.

She moved towards his right side, and as she took another bowl to clean the wound, she could see Robin pacing in the room, murmuring things that none of them could hear.

She watched her pacing up and down, her hands intertwined in her hair, it added stress to see her so agitated. With a quick glance towards her, she spoke, “Robin, can you stop, please? I understand it makes you uncomfortable and anxious, but getting him to the hospital is not possible, there’s a literal witch-hunt for him. I’ve managed to bring him back, I’m not sending him away to get killed by a bunch of maniacs who take the Second Amendment way too seriously,” She calmly told her, but continued, “Can you help us please?”

Robin was.. shocked, stunned actually, but her eyes were pleading, she radiated calmness and anticipation, like she answered well to stress around her, like nothing could phase her, which was wrong of course.

Robin stepped closer and asked what she could do, to which she responded she could change the waters in the bowl as she worked on his wounds, and instead of being silent and nourishing Robin’s anxiety, she explained everything she did, all the steps she did, what she used, under Nancy’s curious eyes.

The bleeding had stopped on Eddie’s thighs, the process was the same for them, but she finished with his side left, she took Nancy’s turn on applying pressure, talking a little bit with Eddie to maintain his consciousness.

Nancy had gone to empty a bowl and give her a new one, she slowly got rid of the bloody sponge, the bleeding had diminished, only the smaller vessels were bleeding out, which was something she could work with.

She let out a breath, a bit loudly, her hands wiped her forehead in frustration, one glance at Eddie, to see his eyes blinking, looking at his chest, she saw the very slow rise of his breaths.

She observed the bleeding slowly, thinking of what to do,  and as she took the bowl to clean the wound, she turned to Nancy in front of her, “Nancy, I’m gonna need some hemostatic gauze or dressings, can you look for those, please?”

She was already gone looking in the box, while she applied pressure with her bare hands, she had used all of the gauze with all of them. She hoped Nancy would find what she needed because she didn’t know what she would do without it.

She started to feel the adrenaline had run off, it’s like her entire body was working in autopilot in the emergency but it started fading. She sensed she reached her limit, but preferred to hide it away, behind a façade.

Nancy’s small scream of joy when she found it broke her out of her trance, she thanked her, and got to work, cleaned the wound, dried the skin around and applied quickly double the amount of hemostatic gauze as it bled through his side and covered with a larger dressing. 

She looked at Eddie, who turned his head towards her, and smiled, the wrinkles by his eyes, the shine in those whiskey brown eyes, it was more than enough to make her smile too.

“How are you feeling?” 

“Tired, so tired, I'm— I feel cold.”

Robin put the blankets over him, she told him he could rest, she would check on him periodically.

They headed downstairs, with everything they had used, threw some in the garbage and put the washcloths, towels and everything else in the washing machine. It’s only then she realised her hands, wrists and forearms were bloody, she felt stuck on her feet watching the blood, like her brain was stuck processing it.

It’s Nancy’s hand on her shoulder that surprised her, jumping and gasping as she turned around, “How do you feel?” 

She looked at Nancy first, then at her hands, her nose had picked up on the iron-y smell, the thickness of it slimming on her fingertips, “I don’t know.” 

Nancy’s hands fell on her arms, she turned her gently so she was facing her, “Sit down for a bit, I’ll tell Robin she can freshen up, I’ll make us something to eat.”

“I’m not hungry, I'm—I’ll take a shower, we’ll eat after. Go freshen up first.” 

She frowned, but her eyes never faltered from her, “Are you sure?”

She nodded slowly, didn’t wait for Nancy’s approval to leave towards the front door to take the walkie from the trailer. She waited, hearing the two shower heads to activate it and call for Steve, in the darkness and coldness of the living room, “Steve?” 

Nothing but the night surrounding her, the quietness, the dark, anxious thoughts. 

“Steve?” her voice broke in the talkie, hoping so much she would hear him, she awaited his voice, its raspiness, but she only received the buzzing of the device. Maybe it didn’t reach the hospital.

She exhaled, grabbed the walkie and walked upstairs. She sat down on a chair near the end of her bed, watching Eddie sleep, she could see the small movements of his breathing rhythm.

She could only hear the droplets of water falling in the bathrooms, absorbed by the darkness of the night, she was lost in her thoughts, the events of the night playing in the back of her mind, thinking of what ifs. 

She didn’t realise how much time she spent lost in her thoughts, Nancy’s hand on her shoulder broke the chain of thoughts, jumping in surprise. Thanking the brunette when she told she could shower, too. 

She looked for comfortable and warm clothes, and before she vanished in the main bathroom, voluntarily choosing not to shower in her bathroom, directly linked to her bedroom, she turned to Nancy and told her to make herself at home. 

With the door locked she turned the water, undressed herself, her eyes avoiding the mirror as she undid the dressing around her side. 

She looked at the wound, then at its reflection, at the curves around her hips, she felt the soreness of her muscles and her skin, the dark and red tones of the bruises almost covered her body. 

She ignored her naked body, her eyes deviating around her features, but she couldn’t ignore her hands, arms, and her face. Dried blood on her forehead, cheeks, lips, chin, her hands, wrists and forearms covered in Eddie’s dry blood.

What she felt made it so complicated for her to comprehend what went through her head, the violence of the previous days was crawling its way in the back of her mind and she didn’t know who she was anymore, she felt uncomfortable in her skin and in her head. 

Hatred, towards herself, that she let herself be involved in this by stepping by that gate, that they couldn’t kill Vecna, that she let herself be so vulnerable in the Upside Down, the breakdowns, she felt shame. Nothing mattered anymore, everything prior to the events down there, it didn’t matter, the jealousy, sleeping around pretending to feel no insecurity and in control. 

She stopped looking at her reflection, instead she took a midsize towel and put it around the mirror, stuck by clothespins. 

In the shower she scrubbed ardently for the blood to be washed away down the drain, she stayed a few extra minutes under the water, letting the droplets of water run down her body. 

She let herself slide down the shower door, the water hitting her body as she rested in complete silence, numb, like the water would help her forget the previous night, like it would magically make her forget.

She hadn’t realised she had started crying, her tears felt colder than the water. Silently she let herself drown in her sorrow, her mind replaying everything that’s happened in the last couple of days, arms and knees pulled inwards, making herself as small as possible in the shower.

The tears stopped, she felt calmer, she turned the water down, and dried herself off, dressing in warm, comfortable clothes, she walked towards her room, put the dirty clothes in the laundry basket.  From what she could see, Eddie was asleep, deep breaths levelled up his abdomen. 

Silently she looked for a dressing and a bandage in the box of medical supplies, she went to her bathroom, turned on the light, she was met with her reflection, as the one who used her bathroom had removed the towel on her mirror.

She could see red, tired eyes. She avoided her eyes' reflection but she couldn’t  bare herself so she retrieved the towel and put it back, she only pulled one side up to show her her abdomen. Using the small available space she covered her wound with a dressing and bandaged it all up. All under Eddie’s discrete eyes, he wasn’t that deep asleep after all.

She exhaled and let the towel fall on the mirror’s length, Eddie closed his eyes and heard her turn the lights off, walking back to the room and off downstairs, where she met Nancy and Robin. They had prepared things to eat for everyone when the rest of the group would get back from the hospital. With a tired thank you she took two plates along with two water bottles and left towards the stairs, she stopped and turned to the girls.

“Sleep where you want, yeah? I’ll stay with Eddie, you can take my parents’ room or use the mattresses from last night, wake me up when Steve gets back or calls..” she smiled at them, an exhausted smile but she lowered her head, and walked in silence her way upstairs.

She put the plates on her bedside table, found some Tylenol for Eddie, and proceeded to kneel next to him on her bed. With a slow caress on his arm she woke him up, his eyes opened slowly, immediately falling on her, he smiled a little bit at her. 

“How’re you feeling?” 

“Exhausted, I feel like sleeping for six months.”

She giggled softly, kept her eyes at his level, “I have food, water and painkillers, are you feeling up to eating a little bit?” 

He nodded, she helped him sit down against the headset, by placing her arms under his armpits, and held him up, he winced in pain, she kept muttering apologies in the process. She sat by his side, legs crossed on the duvet, he took the painkillers, and quietly they ate together, slowly. 

When they were done he glided down on his own further into the bed, the painkillers had yet to start working, but lying down next to him, he looked up to her as she brought the pillow closest to him.

He intertwined their fingers together, their eyes stuck on one another’s, “You saved me. You saved my life, and I..—I don’t know how to thank you,” his raspy voice broke into his whisper. 

She offered him a timid smile, tightened their fingers for a second, “You don’t have to. You’re my best friend, it’s..—I had to help you, do everything that I could..—it’s..—You know when I saw you there, lying on the ground in Dustin’s arms, lifeless, my brain just entered automatic mode and I had one thing in mind: save you.” 

She paused, took a breath, her eyes derived for a second from him, his fingertips gently stroked her hand, “I had to try and get you back.  I mean, how could I not? If there was a single chance, ever, of course I would take it, and I would do it again, anytime. I can’t lose you,” her voice failed her as the emotion took over. 

The fear of losing him had started appearing then, her brain was so fogged on the technical aspect of the situation that she hadn’t had any time to process anything yet, it was hitting her in the face at full force that she could have lost him, she already imagined his funeral, wearing all black, seeing the coffin falling six feet under. 

She saw again all the blood, the way his body had stopped breathing, his eyes were just so.. glossy. 

“You were dead. You weren’t breathing, your heart had stopped. I couldn’t allow for it to happen and not try, I wouldn’t have been able to live with myself,” she whispered, afraid her voice would betray her, but a couple of seconds after she broke into sobs.

The tears were of fear, exhaustion, she needed to let go, couldn’t let it weigh down on her shoulders. 

Through red eyes she saw Eddie’s hand had left her fingers to wipe away the pearly tears on her cheek, himself tearful, one second away from crying,  “If you cry, I’ll cry—and that won’t be fun for anyone,” 

“After the night we’ve spent, I think we’re allowed to let the tears go,” her voice broke through the sobs, she scooted closer to Eddie, her head on the pillow closest to him, her forehead made contact with his own, and with closed eyes they breathed to calm down. 

When she opened her eyes she retreated her head a bit, taking in his face, his eyes felt like it burned her skin, like only his eyes were enough to set her on fire.

He looked at her but it’s like he saw right through her, and what she was going to do, he leaned his face a little on the side, his nose a little closer to her’s. 

Looking down at his lips, so inviting, so tempting, their rosy plumpness, her eyes looked up to his’, and in a one swift move she put her hand on his cheek and leaned closer to him, until her lips met with his.

She discovered how it finally felt like to kiss him, so much time spent together, so many nights spent entangled in bed and she hadn’t kissed him, not once, because of a boundary she had set to protect her heart.

She realises now how stupid this boundary was, at least with him, because it’s Eddie, who gives the appearance of taking nothing seriously, and he does, but not as much as everyone thinks.

He’s taken for granted, always seen as a monster who preaches Satan, when in fact, he was a dork, a geek who played guitar in an amateur music band, and played a game of fantasy. He smoked because like everyone else he wasn’t perfect and he was fine with that. She was too.

She realised how silly she’s been with him as his lips pushed on her delicately. Her fingers travelled to the nape of his neck, she pulled lightly, earning a shy moan from him.

They both knew it would never get further than this again, he didn’t want to cross her boundaries and force a choice out of her out of pity or whatever. He got to kiss her, though, felt like a win in life. Their lips detached, they felt in their bones that it would be their last intimate moment, but that’s exactly why she kissed him. 

She had no idea where she stood with Steve, she didn’t want to even think about that now, so in that moment, she let all her guards down, and gave herself what she had wanted in those three months but was so afraid to take : a kiss from Eddie Munson.

His head fell back on the pillow, face still tilted toward her, a smile ghosting his lips, “Best friends?” he whispered as his fingers made their way back to hers’, he tightened their intertwined fingers.

Her eyes travelled from his lips to his eyes, diving into those soft, brown pupils, she couldn’t help but smile, “Of course, you’re not getting rid of me so easily, Munson.” 

Her head hit the pillow next to his shoulder, her body leaned towards him, the room fell in a quiet atmosphere, Eddie had fallen asleep rapidly, his soft breath was the only thing she could hear and slowly she let herself fall asleep to a calm sleep. 

Deep asleep, she didn’t realise right away the front door had been opened, the voices speaking downstairs, nor the steps of the stairs creaking by the weight of people walking up. 

She woke up violently when she realised there was some movement in the house, immediately thinking of Steve, and the teenagers. 

She slowly got up so she wouldn’t wake Eddie, and walked downstairs quietly, as she got down she heard muffled voices, whispers, and Steve in Nancy’s arms, she paused, trying to not let it go to her head.

They were friends. They’re friends and friends embrace each other, kiss each other, apparently, it would be petty and stupid to let this get under her skin and not appropriate because it’s not a priority. 

She closed her eyes, and breathed in slowly, then walked down the rest of the stairs.

The two detached as they heard movement, and she joined them in the living room, “What happened? What time is it?” 

“It’s a little past seven, Max has been hospitalised, for now they’re only sure about external injuries, severely broken legs, they need to do more tests on her, but her mother’s insurance won’t cover it and I have no idea what to do. Dustin has been looked over, he has a sprained ankle, he has a splint and brace. Their parents were called, the police were there, they wanted to question us and for the older ones in the group they wanted to summon us in,” he had talked so fast, rambling on that she could barely catch any of it, but she did. 

Instinctively she walked closer to him and put both her hands on his shoulders, “Breathe, Steve, breathe. We’ll.. find something, right? We’ll find something to say. We’ll hide Eddie in my house, it’s gonna be fine,” she really wanted to be reassured but she had trouble even convincing herself. 

His eyes were watery, his brow furrowed, he was short of breath, hands on his hips, she recognized he was in distress, just by the way he looked at her, it pulled at her heartstrings to see him like that, instinctively she brought him towards her, her arms circled his waist, her chin on his shoulder.

His hands shyly circled around her shoulders, he held her tightly, his fingertips shaking a little bit, “We’re going to find something, we’re not abandoning anyone okay, we need to stick together, close ranks.” 

Nancy behind her nodded, until her eyes fell on someone coming down the front door, they detached, but she took his hand and held it tightly, they saw Dustin walking with his brace, he looked so exhausted.

Her other hand instinctively went up on his back, he gave her a tired smile. 

She let Steve and Lucas freshen up in the main bathroom, Erica had been brought back to her and her brother’s house, Lucas didn’t want to be alone and leave Dustin.

Nancy went back to sleep with Robin in her parents’ room while she remade the beds on the floor, while Lucas, and Dustin were eating in the kitchen, she saw Steve coming down.

She handed the final plate to Steve as she leaned on the counter, he whispered a small thank you, and ate in silence as Dustin and Lucas seemed far in their thoughts, “You guys should sleep a little, we’ll think everything through after some rest, alright?” 

Absentmindedly, Lucas nodded, his head turned to Steve and her, “You really think we’ll find a way to help Max and Eddie without getting into some more problems? The stakes are.. so absurd right now.. it didn’t seem like an ‘end of the world’ type of threat when all of this began. We just wanted to find Will.” 

Even if she wasn’t around when all of this began, she could understand what he meant, and she had to admit he was right, the way everything happened every year seemed like it always got so worse.

“I know I’m new to this, we don’t know each other, but trust me on this, Lucas, we will do everything we can to sort this out. We’ll help Max, if we have to rob a bank we will, but we will find something. And as for Eddie.. We’ll hide him until everything feels safer, and we’ll talk to the police. We’ll handle this.” 

“What if we don’t?” 

“We’ll try our hardest, everything we can.” 

He nodded, but he wasn’t convinced. She couldn’t blame him, they had gone through hell multiple times, they found their way back before, but maybe this time was the point of no return. 

Lucas and Dustin went to the living room to lie down, Steve and her stood shoulder to shoulder doing the dishes, she cleaned and rinsed it as Steve dried it quietly. 

With a slight pull on his hand they left to sleep. The house was quiet as everyone was asleep. 

A couple hours later, everyone was up, and while they ate they all worked on their statements for the police, keeping the same version of the story, making sure nothing was left out. The teenagers all preferred to be with them in the police station, even if only the older ones were summoned. 

Eddie was staying in her house for now, he could barely get up, he was exhausted, but Nancy thought of getting him a walkie so they could stay in contact while he was alone in the house, leaving water and meds by his side. The four of them had made sure to hide the bruises around their throats with makeup, that one would be extremely difficult to explain without justifying it with some weird kinda games. They didn’t want to go there.

The day at the police station was excruciating, they went one by one, and delivered the same deposition, almost word for word, explaining that the murders weren’t Eddie’s doing, that he was known around for playing Dungeons and Dragons, a fantasy game. 

Paranoids had taken him for an escape goat because he fit perfectly, on the outside only.

Max’s condition in the hospital resulted from an attack from Jason and she had been forced down the two levels of stairs from the attic, where they had planned to play D&D in Creel’s house, at night, that Eddie wasn’t there and she didn’t have any news from him since March twentieth.

The four versions were the same, only adapted to their occupations the night Chrissy died., and the sheriff let them go.  It was close to six in the afternoon, they drove back to the forest to get Nancy’s car, the two cars followed each other as they parked in front of her house.

They all agreed to share that same version to their parents, then Nancy left with everyone except her to her house where she knew Lucas’s parents and Dustin’s mom would be.  Steve retrieved his car and took Robin home, then drove back to his house. 

He felt uncomfortable in the quietness and emptiness of it, he felt dread, completely impulsively he took a Duffel bag and stuffed some clothes and toiletries in there. Enough for a week at least.

Nancy was calmly explaining the events of the previous days to their parents, staying true to what they had said at the police station. 

Even if their parents felt like they were irresponsible, they were glad everyone was safe, that’s when Lucas broke through and talked about Max. 

She wasn’t okay, the cost of her stay in the hospital would be crushing her mother who was struggling a lot. It wasn’t right, it wasn’t fair, but they stayed quiet. 

She had checked on Eddie, who was fast asleep in her room, until he would get up she decided on cleaning up her house.

It was like a storm had gone through it, and she terribly needed the distraction.

Sorting out the camping mattresses and sleeping bags in her garage, she kept thinking of Max and how they could help her, of how she would be able to keep taking care of Eddie’s injuries, hers’ and God she forgot Steve’s, with little to no material.

Everything she used was on prescription, it’s not something she could buy like gauze and the rest of it. The ringing of the front door echoed in her house and made her jump in surprise, “Oh God, what is it now.”

She was stunned to find Steve on her front door, a Duffel bag in hand, for the first time she couldn’t decipher his face, she couldn’t tell what emotion rode his face, tension started to build up as he didn’t say anything. His eyes started to wander on the ground, and there she could see it: embarrassment. 

“Steve, are you okay?” 

His eyes closed for a second, and opened to look at her, as his mouth opened to say something they felt the earth move beneath their feet, it started off small but in a matter of seconds gained more force, it was even more violent than the earthquake in the Upside Down. 

They tried to maintain balance but they failed, stumbling forward, her face was going to hit the pavement but Steve prevented that by grabbing her sides while falling on his side on the grass and tightly holding onto one another’s as they felt the world tear itself violently under their bodies.

The sun had set only minutes ago, it began to be darker so all that could be seen was the reddish orange light reflecting the teared paths on the grounds, and the roads.  The path was clear, one look from the sky and anyone could see it took inspiration from the cardinal points, each path in one way.

It went from the outside of the Hawkins to its centre, with a final explosion when the paths met, and the earth calmed down. 

Four paths, four murders. It had to be Vecna. 

To Nancy it was crystal clear, as she tightly held Dustin and her mother’s arm, in her living room, where minutes ago she was still explaining to their parents what had happened in the last couple of days, and it was so limpid. 

“Are you okay?” Steve murmured once he felt stable, it had stopped, his hands detached on her arms, but his fingers lingered on her skin. 

She nodded, her arms moved and she sat up between Steve’s spread out legs, her hands flat next to his thighs for stability, her head turned to look at him, “Are you? Did you hit something?” 

“I’m fine,” he whispered as he sat back up too, her back against his chest.

They both thought the same thing, their memories of the day prior resurfaced, Vecna’s plan. 

They were right, he wasn’t dead, and when she turned back around with wide eyes, Steve grew the same worry; Max. Had he managed to get her? 

“We have to get to Nancy, we should head to the hospital.. Uh, okay, put your things inside, I’ll check on Eddie and we‘ll head to Nancy’s house, c’mon.” 

They got back on their feet and rushed inside the house, she warned Eddie about what was going on, he asked them to be careful and to stay in touch, she met Steve by her front door and together they walked towards Nancy’s house, a few houses from her’s. 

Nancy was outside, along with Dustin and Lucas walking to her car, they understood each other immediately, and they hopped in the car, driving to the hospital.

They observed the consequences through the windows, the road was split in half, with an entrance to the Upside Down right in the centre of it, along the road. They didn’t know yet how the city looked, downtown, that the public library had been destroyed because of the major explosion, where the paths had met.

They could see the vines in between the two parts of the road, it reflected some reddish pink light, they were right, Vecna’s plan had worked, the rift between the Upside Down and Hawkins is now open. 

When they got to the hospital the roads weren’t blocked by traffic yet, it was pretty smooth except for driving on the side of the road to avoid the gigantic rift. The hospital was a bit farther in town and wasn’t destroyed by the earthquake, that was a good sign. 

It also gave them the information that Max wasn’t the one murdered by Vecna, or the hospital would have been destroyed. Who was it, then? And where?

With two visitors only, Lucas and Dustin went to see her as Steve, Nancy and her waited in the waiting area on the floor, they were quiet, sat soundlessly, Steve’s leg started bouncing.

She had closed her eyes, her hands covering her eyes in frustration and anticipation, until she felt the vibrations of Steve’s leg, her eyes glared at his leg, then at him. She put her hand on his thigh, it made him stop his movements, his face turned to her and their eyes connected. He intertwined their fingers together, patiently waiting for Lucas and Dustin’s return.

Nancy talked to a doctor about Max’s condition, and even though they tried their hardest to listen, her and Steve couldn’t seem to focus on it.  There was a lot surrounding them, and the most dangerous of it all: Vecna wasn’t dead, he had survived, it seemed like their efforts were for nothing. Max’s sacrifice was for nothing, Eddie’s too.

Max’s mother arrived shortly after Lucas and Dustin left to get Nancy, Steve and her, not caring about the visitors’ rule, the lady at the desk wasn’t even there to worry about it, perhaps the aftermath of the gates breaking through was coming to the hospital.

As they walked towards her room, she felt uneasy, out of place, in front of the door, ajar, she pulled on Steve’s hand.

“Wait, it’s..—I’ll wait for you in the waiting area. I shouldn’t be here, I’m intruding, I don’t know her like you guys do, it doesn’t make sense for me to be there,” her uneasiness spoke for her, distress on her face.

“You deserve your place as much as we do. She will appreciate your presence,” he murmured to her as he made a few steps closer to her, she could feel his breath on her face.

She searched in his eyes, and all she found was assurance.  He pulled on her hand and together they entered her room.

Max’s legs were in casts, she had IVs running down, she was also attached to a monitor beeping along her heartbeat. 

She smiled faintly, tired, Lucas stood beside her alongside her mother. Dustin had sat down, his brace next to him.

She watched Max and her mom interact, and saw she cared for her daughter. The woman was exhausted by the two jobs she had but by the smile she offered her daughter she could see she was so relieved.

She hadn’t realised she had zoned out for a few minutes, lost in her thoughts, Max’s mother reminded her that she hadn’t seen her parents in a long time, and that she wished her parents would be more like her. 

Steve repeated her name, and with a pull on her hand, she was back with them, “Sorry, what?”

Steve’s head turned towards the adult, who was looking her way, “Max said you’re all to thank for saving her,, I don’t know how to tha—”

“Oh no no, please, of course, how could we not help her when we were able to?”

“That witch hunt on that Munson boy proves us otherwise. I want to thank you all, she wouldn’t be here without you,” Mrs Mayfield smiled, watery eyes, she couldn’t help but walk towards her and embrace her, her hands shaking on her shoulders. She was taken aback, at first but gently put her hand on her back. She kept murmuring thank yous as she embraced Lucas too.

They talked rapidly to Max, and gave her some time with her mother. While they left, Nancy suggested that they try to find the fourth path, they drove downtown and they saw how everything was destroyed, rampants were slowly crawling their way up to the buildings, around the gate on the road.

They followed one path, but got directed towards the trailer park, they reversed back downtown, they found a route that didn’t seem familiar to them, it led to Benny’s Burger old place, now squatted by the basketball team.

Lucas knew who it was, because it could only be one person, who had gone completely off the rails and was the perfect prey for Vecna: Jason. 

They didn’t need to exit the vehicle, the place was completely destroyed, Lucas explained what he believed. They felt partly relieved that he wouldn’t be after them again, but the dangerousness of the situation quickly surpassed the relief.

The real End of the World was coming. 

Eddie was asleep in her room, Steve was in her living room, lying on the couch, he couldn’t sleep.

The light of the moon shone through the patio door, he was lost in his thoughts, hand tucked under his head on the pillow.

He had quit thinking of Vecna and what they would do, he was clueless, he felt like he was always late at catching up, always so late to pick up on anything, always the last to understand anything. 

Like his father had always told him. He wasn’t there very often but when he was he always made sure to let his son know he was a failure. Without fail.

He turned on his side, grabbing the blanket to cover his neck, now facing the coffee table, the TV. His eyes travelled to the staircase, and his thoughts shifted to her; the three of them had eaten in her room quietly, Eddie managed to sit down on his own, they had explained in small sentences what had happened, but the two sounded and looked completely defeated.

Shortly after she changed the dressings on Eddie’s wounds, then Steve’s, and hers’, with the medical supplies Nancy and Steve had helped her steal in a half destroyed pharmacy after they had driven Lucas and Dustin home.

She had worked on their wounds in complete silence, deep in her thoughts, under Steve’s careful and curious eyes when she did Eddie’s, the two young men had shared a couple questioning eye contacts. Puzzled by her silence. And when she did Steve, he was as silent as her in the main bathroom, just looking at her, until she was finished and he hadn’t realised she was done. 

They had gone to sleep without a sound, Eddie was tired from sitting up on his own, he drifted off to sleep quickly. She stood next to him, couldn’t sleep either, staring into the night through the window. 

She heard Eddie’s slow breathing, but somehow couldn’t sleep. She turned on her back, facing the ceiling, she exhaled loudly.

She sat up, and quietly walked down the stairs, she tried to not make any sound, so as to not wake Steve.  She prepared a cup with honey, the tea bag as she waited for the water to boil in the kettle.

Steve had seen her walk down to the kitchen silently, he had an internal debate whether or not to join her. 

She poured the boiling water in her cup, her spoon stirred mindlessly the honey, Steve had an impression she was so deep in her thoughts she hadn’t realised he was there. His hand slowly approached her shoulder, and when his fingertips softly brushed over her skin her head turned to him.

He could see her tired eyes, like himself she was overthinking and couldn’t stop the train of thoughts in her head. He understood the feelings she had, because he felt the same, unsure, confused, numb of everything, not even trusting her own mind. 

She couldn’t tell what she felt, because she didn’t know anything. It wasn’t the first time she felt like she didn’t know or understood anything she felt, or knew, but this intense, she hadn’t experienced that before, like an amnesiac trying to remember.

Steve’s hands wrapped around her shoulders, her side against his, she turned herself in front of him, her forehead falling on his shoulder, his hands drifting to her waist, he intertwined his fingers on the low of her back as she softly pulled him towards her by his waist.

She knotted his shirt in her fists, in a desperate manoeuvre to never let him go. 

“I’m so tired.. so.. drained. I feel like I don’t know myself anymore, it’s been.. the last couple of days have completely changed me and I don’t know. I just.. I don’t know,” she started, turning the side of her face so her nose could hide in his neck.

“The reason I left you that night was.. because I anxiously grew worried to have you involved in all of this, not because I thought you wouldn’t be.. capable of handling this or anything like that, but because I know the weight the secrets of the Upside Down holds on you. It’s heavy on your conscience and the more you go through with this the more it damages everything. I didn’t want you to suffer like we are, like I am, but.. here you are,” He exhaled loudly, defeat evident in his voice.

She held onto him tighter, her fists almost pulling at the material in his back, “I understand. I know that what you’re saying are not lies, because I feel it too. I feel that in pending doom over our heads. It eats your brain slowly with anxiety, and now, when I remember the look on your face from then you..—Everything that triggered me then —still triggers me now— was partly because of the Upside Down and I’m— sorry.”

She paused, mainly to try and breath, shaky breaths left her lips as she tried to let out what she felt for him, it overwhelmed her, having so much to say, to apologise for, to admit. 

“You were a constant thing in my life and.. I need something similar back. I can’t believe I would be so sure that you’re still the same asshole from highschool. I’ve spent months sleeping around, believing it would stop the insecurities, fill whatever emptiness I feel, all because of something that’s from a Sci-fi movie. I’ve wasted so much unnecessary energy being jealous of Nancy, having sex with my best friend–” she kept rambling but Steve stopped listening.

One of his hands detached itself from her back to cup her chin, he leaned his head down and in one swift move, he shut her overwhelming talk with the plumpness of his lips. Not that he didn’t care, but he didn’t want them to run in circles about their mistakes and what they could’ve done differently, he wanted to be present in their present, their moment. The past and their lies and mistakes belonged there, not here, now.

She didn’t respond at first, letting her brain process the information that he was kissing her, until she realised he was kissing her!  She leaned closer, and pressed harder on his lips, one of her hands moving to his cheek softly, they quickly separated, foreheads touching.

“Promise me you’ll still be here when I wake up tomorrow,” she whispered before she put her lips back for a soft kiss.

“I’ll be here with you every day of my life, in the morning, the afternoon, the night.. As long as you allow me to be close to you,” he muttered through his breath as he tried to catch his breath.

“Just what I needed to hear,” she murmured against his lips, her hands were on both his cheeks as their lips attached, they had no desire for it to go further than kisses, but it was more than enough.

Her hands traveled to the nape of his neck and together they helped her up the kitchen corner, his body slotting perfectly between her thighs, his hands roaming around her sweatshirt to find its way under the material to feel her skin.

There was some kind of fire with Steve, a blooming fire, burning up so high it burned for the both of them, warming them. It felt ethereal what they felt for one another, to feel such lightness. 

His lips drew kisses along her cheeks, down to her jaw, earning some giggles from her as he neared her ticklish spot in her neck. He put a final kiss on her chin, their foreheads touching, eyes closed, with only their mingled breath reasoning in the kitchen.

He helped her down from the kitchen countertop and headed towards the living room and the pulled-out sofa, “C’mon, we should get some rest.”

Bodies tangled up under the covers, his warmth was burning but she felt so good in his embrace, like a cocoon.

If it wasn’t for the sword of Damocles on their heads.

If it wasn’t for Vecna and his army, the life ending threat, it would be perfect.

It would be so perfect, not heartbreaking at all that they couldn't be together.

[stevefromupsidedown]

FAÇADE — Pt, three : the Upside Down • steve harrington x f!reader

synopsis: surviving in the upside down alone until she falls upon Steve, Eddie, Nancy and Robin, she questions her sanity. warnings: fem!reader with she/her pronouns, deaths, blood, gore and violence, references to mental health issues and low self esteem, very heavy on the angst, very little comfort, basically reader's the worst pessimist, very introspective, references to sexual themes, 18+ ONLY (overall warnings for the series, read at your own risk) This material is @takemetothelakes-poets’ property.

PT, FOUR | SERIES MASTERLIST | CHAPTER PLAYLIST

The side of her skull hit the concrete with a thud as she passed through the opening.  

Her arm was tightly pulled above her head as she was being pulled on her side, feeling her skin get warmer, pain struck her along the side of her head, her arm and the side of her back dragged along the asphalt.

The thing wrapped around her arm detached itself after pulling her for less than half a mile, she was left on the concrete, breathing irregularly as she felt soreness in most parts of her body. She took a quick look around her, and god, on a scale of living a normal and boring life in a small town to how crazy is it being dragged into whatever this is through tentacles, she was on the edge of losing her mind.

As she looked around she saw small, white particles, almost like snow, but it didn't melt. It was surrounding her and falling down at a very slow pace, the air was also thick, she realised it as she started coughing, the atmosphere hurting her throat. 

She was completely taken aback by something grabbing her throat, coiling around it, in one second she was strangled, feeling the vine type thing tighten. Her upper body was pressed against the ground with such force it forced the air out of her lungs, her shoulder blades and the base of her head hit the asphalt with a sound she didn’t like but didn’t have time to worry about.

She tried to reach out for something, anything, and out of nowhere she felt like slim daggers were going through her flesh, on her side, a stridulating scream escaped from her mouth.

Looking at it she saw something similar to a bat, but with larger wings, a tail long enough to envelop one's throat, and a pointy set of teeth that hurt like a bitch.

With a newfound strength, and some adrenaline pumping through her veins, she reached her arm forward, on the tail strangling her throat and firmly held it in her palm, she tried to ignore another wave of pain as the bat on her side was biting, munching his little teeth onto her side, digging through her flesh, like she was an all you can eat buffet.

That thought sent a sense of urgency, and when she felt warm blood running on her skin, soaking the material of her clothes, the pain felt like needles were deeply poked at her side, going deeper at each inhale she managed to take, it felt fucking urgent to get this thing off. 

Pulling firmly the tail of the bat towards her she screamed as the animal tried to tighten its hold on her throat, with more force she was able to pull it as much as she could inwards her body and untie its hold around her throat, then getting on her feet she projected it at full force against the concrete. 

The bat who served its own meal on her side was above her head, trying to get her throat, but running a few feet from where she stood she picked the remnants of a road sign, grabbed its tail and released it at the right moment to hit it full force, sending it away like a tennis ball.

She let out a shaky breath, and automatically looked at her surroundings. She had to get out, now. She walked towards where she was pulled in, when she arrived close enough to see it, she also saw the bats waiting for her around the.. gate? She didn't know what to call it.

"Fuck. I'm so screwed," she muttered to herself, she heard a set of wings fly above her head and looked up, the creature screeched, showing off its pointy teeth. Looking back at the gate, she saw there were multiple of those creatures guarding the thing, ready to come at her if she did any step forward, taunting her with their screech. 

Alone she wouldn't have any chance fighting the handful of them and win, no.

She looked back at the road, there were also a handful of bats flying not far from her, so she had to avoid any road, anywhere where they could see her, so, looking towards the woods, she decided to go off track, and prayed so hard she would be able to manage to orient herself, and find another way back. 

She first started to wander through the woods, silently, she wanted to be alert for any suspicious sound.  If weird bats were around, she was sure some other deadlier and more dangerous creature was around. 

She needed to find a refuge, water, and some food, she knew she would never find it. She wanted to be an optimist but she couldn’t be anything other than a pessimist given the situation.

She wandered around the woods for a long time, she felt exhausted, in pain from walking for hours in dark woods, she started to feel dizzy when she approached what she assumed was Skull Rock, given the rumours she had heard about it in highschool. She let herself lie against the hard surface, wincing at her side. 

Breathing in and out rapidly she lifted up her sweater and shirt underneath to reveal the bites, she had blood pouring out of her wounds, steadily, in small quantity but she knew that if she didn’t try to stop the bleeding, she would lose all hopes to leave whatever this place was to get back to Hawkins alive. 

Under her sweatshirt, she ripped apart her shirt on its length and created a large piece of cloth to tie around her abdomen, flinching as she tightened it to stop the bleeding. Taking a deep breath to try and endure the pain as she knotted the piece of fabric in place.

She felt a new wave of exhaustion washing over her, her eyes felt so heavy, she had trouble keeping her eyes open, she probably shouldn’t have, but she fell asleep into the darkness of Skull Rock, hidden. 

She woke up in a cold sweat, hoping she had dreamed the night before, but no, she was still in the same strange space, it was still dark, the air still felt so thick and nasty. The side of her head didn’t hurt as much, it was more like a pressure building, pushing. Taking a look at her makeshift bandage, she felt an ounce of hope. It had stopped bleeding, maybe she had a chance to attempt to survive. 

Getting up slowly she gathered her courage, and started walking back to the town, avoiding any branch, leaf or anything that could announce her presence, she also tried to be aware of her surroundings and the sounds around her. As she walked, she realised she was diving into more woods than she wanted. 

She walked the length of Lover’s Lake, she knew she was getting farther then, but the lake was completely parched, like, no water, no fish, no aquatic plants, nothing but bats flying around its surface. 

She paced for hours, trying to spot any sign of the town; she had no idea how much time she spent walking in the sea of trees, there was no sunrise nor sunset, there was no sun at all. Time was a vague concept down there, she was afraid she would lose herself to it, having no way to get back to her town. 

She stopped abruptly when she couldn’t take it anymore, with no compass, no map, no signs, and a poor sense of orientation; she was lost, she didn’t want to admit it at first, but hours later, she couldn’t deny it, she was lost. 

She let herself fall back against a tree, the pressure in the side of her head started to hurt, like her head would burst, her legs could barely keep going on, it hurt, she was lost, alone, somewhere she didn’t know, with no food, no water, no protection or weapons. 

It was a lot. Too much in so little time. 

She broke down, suffocating on her own tears, her breathing became erratic as she went on a full mental breakdown, hands buried in her hair, her fingertips almost gripping at the scalp, until she heard a branch break not far from her. She got up fast, and tried to see what it was; she heard a weird growl, paralysed, she hoped that if she didn't move the creature wouldn’t attack her or see her. The loud sound of a thunderstrike shot through the woods, with red lighting illuminating the sky, that’s when she saw it. Electrical poles. 

If there were electrical poles, there were houses, shops, places to hide. She looked back behind her, where she heard the creature screeching.  It was still there, closer, but from the back so it couldn’t see her. The red lighting helped her see the details of this creature and she had goosebumps; it was the size of a dog, on four feet, when the creature moved and showed its profile, she saw it had no face at all, just its maw, and like bats, pointy teeth, lots of it, it seemed to open up like flowers. She held her breath in fear, she didn't know what to do, but she certainly couldn’t stay there, waiting. 

What if this creature had similar friends coming ? 

Breathing out slowly through her nose, she looked toward the electrical poles, hoping a house or a shop wouldn’t be far if she needed to run, she tried to inspect the ground, but it was so dark she couldn’t see anything. She had to try to escape this hell. 

She stepped into the direction of the electrical poles, trying so hard to not make any sound; a few steps in and a dead leaf cracked under her shoe. 

Her eyes widened at such a rookie mistake, “Fuck,” she looked up, the creature was on its front, towards her, “Oh shit”, she muttered, and as the creature made a step forward.. Time to run. 

She ran as fast as she could, trying to avoid any branch or climbing plants —again, what the fuck?— as to not fall and be doomed, she could hear the creature running after her, not looking back she arrived by the train track entrance of the city, on the south.

Her house was on the north, so way too far, but the town hall wasn’t that far, two blocks away maximum. She tried to lose the creature going through back alleys, she felt so out of breath, her muscles were so sore, she was giving in so much, that when she stumbled upon the first shop she could find she ran into it, instantly hiding into the back of it, leaving bloody prints on her way inside.

She hid in the break room slash storehouse, between empty racks, trying to be silent as she tried to catch her breath, her muscles convulsing at the effort. 

She let herself fall against the rack, hearing the creature inside the shop trying to find her, rummaging through stuff, silent tears of pain, exhaustion and despair fell on her cheeks. She tried not letting herself succumb to it just yet, but she couldn’t. 

She remained on the floor, silently sobbing on the cold, dusty floor. She muffled herself as to not make any sound, the cold tears running along her cheeks and her nose in pain, exhaustion. It lasted a while; her eyes focused on the same level, stoic, on the cold tiles, she felt goosebumps at the coldness, numbness in her fingers and legs as she lay paralysed by fear, her irises empty, slowly blinking in the darkness, waiting. 

There was not a sound in the anxious silence, she couldn’t get anything, she had to go see if it was still there, she attempted to get up, but her limbs were painful, it was so hard, and with shaky legs she stood tall and opened the door from the back of the store and took a quick look around her. 

There was nothing she could hear nor see, and so she decided on looking to find something that could hydrate and nourish her, she had no hopes for it, but she found water in plastic bottles, opening the bottle she tried smelling it, it seemed fine; she hesitated, literally looking at nothing around her to approve of her only choices.. but, she quickly came to the realisation that she didn’t know how long she would be stranded, and if she would find an escape, so she took the risk, the water didn’t have any peculiar taste, so, it was a good sign, she hoped. 

For the food, she was extremely hesitant, the water was sealed so she supposed it would be safe, but the food, she had doubts, the wrapping in plastic was thin, the atmosphere was one she hadn’t seen before, she didn’t know if it would mess up with the food or not; but again, not knowing for how long she would be here, she gave it a try. 

Opening the packaging of her favourite cookies, she tried smelling them too, there was nothing weird, no strange smell nor looks, so, why not try? 

She hadn’t realised how hungry she was, the feeling of something in her stomach was such a relief. She managed to stick as many bottles of water under her armpit as she could, and soundlessly —she hoped— she took some packaged food. 

She looked through the glass wall near the entrance of the shop, there were no bats, creatures or anything.. except this giant shadow overlooking Hawkins; it was enormous, like, way off from the ground, like just one of its arms —she guessed?— was the size of a building, it wasn’t moving, it stayed static, and it was very far away. She really hoped she wouldn’t come across it. 

She didn't know what it was but she felt goosebumps along her body, a new wave of tremendous fear in the pit of her stomach. 

Swallowing down the lump in her throat, she left the store, and furtively walked to not make any sound, even breathing, she tried to be as stealthy as she could, she went through the streets towards the centre of the town to try and find a house, she wanted to be as close as possible from the store and the road where the gate was. 

When she found one she just collapsed on a dirty and dusty mattress out of exhaustion, soreness, and pain. 

She woke up two times, the first time she couldn’t even get up, she felt dizzy, sore, sitting on the mattress was enough to make her nauseous. 

The earth shook under her, she tried to stay steady but she lost steadiness and crawled in the room to vomit the only meal she had. Dizzier than ever she was forced back to sleep, head buried in the mattress.

The second time she woke up, she felt dizzy, sore as hell but her head hurt less, the pressure in the side of her skull had diminished, even though it was still present.

When she got up she felt the skin on her side tug on the handmade bandage, the scab had attached itself to the cloth, and when she moved it pulled, it hurt like a knife piercing through her flesh.

With big breaths in and out she managed to get up, taking a water bottle she gargled to try and get rid of the taste of acidity in the back of her mouth.

She finished her water bottle, tried eating a few things as she kept thinking about what she could do now, but the nausea caught up with her. Giving up on food, she decided on leaving, unsteady breath escaping her lips as she exited through the glassdoor. She walked the blocks around up to the train tracks at the entrance of the city. 

She had been very careful as to not make too much noise, she knew she couldn’t walk along the roads as bats would probably cover those areas. The woods were her only chance at leaving, even if she hoped she wouldn't get lost again, and hoped to God she would be better at orientation.

She was not. She wandered a lot, trees looked the same, it was always so dark. The thick atmosphere also made it difficult for her to breathe normally and silently. Every now and then some red lightning strikes shot up in the sky, feeding her panic and urgency. 

She became frustrated, deciding on taking a break, sitting down on a big rock she gulped down her last water bottle, catching her breath, she was almost on the way to cry once again at her doomed future. 

That is unless she heard some movement. She looked the way it came from, her body paralysed at what if it was another one of those four legged creatures? It was so different though, the movement was lighter, cautious, maybe it was trying to hunt her down? 

She decided on going that way but from the side to maybe steal a glance at whatever it was first. It was stupid, but she was stuck in a weird place with inhuman creatures, alone, hurt, what could possibly go wrong? Everything? She couldn't possibly be more unlucky, so.. 

She walked towards the movement, and soon she arrived near Skull Rock, she heard voices. Oh yeah, she was going insane, definitely.  Hiding behind a tree she soon heard a voice and— could somebody explain to her why the fuck was she hearing Eddie Munson? 

Completely stunned she walked towards the voices, and fell upon not only Eddie, but Nancy, Robin and a shirtless, bandaged Steve. 

“Eddie? … Steve?” Surprised and confused, her eyes wide open, she couldn't hide it in her voice, she was concerned. Was she going mad ?

At this point she’s not even sure if she heard herself mutter her concern, but she did feel like she was going crazier by the minute, seeing her ex lover? Her friend with benefits? Old classmate and acquaintance?

Nope. 

No. 

  Couldn't be real. 

Three voices belonging to her.. friends all said dumbfounded, her name, all taking a step closer, except for Eddie who stood on a giant rock. 

“I'm going insane, aren't I?” She muttered, her hands travelled from the side of her body to her hair, nearly scratching her scalp off her head, she was on the edge of tears.

How could they be there? How could she be seeing the ex she still loved? The old friend she stopped talking to all these years ago? And her current one who got high and had sex with her? 

She heard Steve say her name, so delicately it could melt her heart, she turned her head towards him, her hands now grabbing the hem of her sweatshirt as he stepped towards her.

His hands stopped themselves before he could gently hold her cheeks, the pads of his thumbs tingling at the sudden need to comfort her and get rid of her tears dancing around her waterline, in an instant it’s like they had forgotten all the hurt they endured together, he murmured for only her to hear, “You're not going crazy, we’re trapped here too.” 

“And undeniably stuck, just like you,” Eddie added, still standing tall on his rock.

Her eyes left Steve's brown irises to see Eddie, Nancy and Robin, Steve's coworker, “What are you doing here? And how did you get here?” She asked as she forcefully pulled herself away from him. 

“It's a question for you too, how did you know about the Upside Down? And how did you get in?” Robin’s voice struck her like a needle, “The what, now?” 

Eddie was on his way to come back down, until Nancy stopped him, “You need to watch your step, the vines.. it's all a hive mind.”

“What?” Eddie’s voice echoed with her.

“The creepy crawlies.. if you're stepping on one, you're stepping on the Mind Flayer, the bats, Vecna..” Steve breathed out as he walked a few steps back, his hands on his hips as he turned his back towards her, his eyes fixated on their surroundings.

Eddie softly muttered something unintelligible before carefully coming back down, a few steps from her, her eyebrows furrowed, confusion plastered all over her face, she turned her head towards her four interlocutors,“Who?” 

“We can’t explain everything to you right now and right here, but, we could find weapons at the police station, blow those things up that are guarding the gate and boom, we’re home?” Robin said, her body turned towards Nancy, hope written all over her face, her hands up in the air as she spoke quite fast.

“Don’t blow those things up, the bats and the creatures will hear you. We’ll be disposable meat for them. I did not survive here for I don’t how long to die so stupidly,” she coldly said, until she realised what Robin had said, “And fuck, I think I deserve some explanations about this place and the creatures living in it since one nearly choked me to death, bit me as if I was a full course meal on display, and hunt me down like some deer, Goddamn it!” 

Her voice was shaky, on the verge of cracking under the emotion, and with their eyes piercing through her, she suddenly felt out of place. 

She was about to apologise when the earth shook under their feet, another earthquake, more important than the one before. 

Steve being closer to Nancy, he got her before she fell and hooked his arm across her torso to hold her down against Skull Rock, and Eddie being closer to Robin held onto her as they fell, she didn’t have so much luck, she fell on her side, her arms trying to get to the ground so she wouldn’t hit her head, it cushioned her fall.

“Everyone okay?” Steve asked as they all could get on their feet, she had caught a glimpse of the two and how he held Nancy in his arms as she got back on her feet, the side of her head wobbling a bit. She ignored the question, the answer didn’t matter. 

“Okay, but to get back at this idea, we don’t have to go all the way to the police station, I have guns in my bedroom,” Nancy said as she got closer to Eddie, Robin, and her old friend. 

“My house is close to your’s, my dad has a gun too, I can take it.” 

Nancy nodded at her as Eddie looked at the two women, astonished, “You have guns —plural— in your houses?,” he looked at the two, shocked by that revelation. 

“Why are you shocked Munson, you came by my house multiple times?” 

“Yeah, to get high and fuck, not gunned down,” Eddie’s eyes were severe but held a playful shine to it, earning a small smile. Taking a quick look at Steve he saw he was widening his eyes, but he ignored it, took out his denim jacket and threw it at Harrington’s face, “For your modesty, dude.”

“Okay, let’s get those guns, careful on the vines,” Steve initiated as he took the flashlight from Eddie’s jacket, before he turned around, his eyes directed towards the newest member of the group, slowly saying her name with a hint of.. What is melancholia? “You can tell us how you got here along the way, we’ll explain everything to you.” 

They locked eye contact, and they swore it felt like all those months ago, when they were somewhat boyfriend–girlfriend without saying it, his warm brown irises were enough to get her back to the months of tenderness, giggles and laughs, short pecks on the lips, soft promises of love and she felt warmth towards him, to the cold side of her bed when she had finally granted him a night by her side, the betrayal, the doubts about herself and her body, the anger and humiliation she felt that night, and she felt coldness towards him. 

He noticed the changes in her eyes, the warmth then the coldness, he felt it all over again, but he couldn’t indulge in his own emotions, not here. So he cleared his throat and turned around, flashed his light and led the way. 

She explained how she got in the Upside Down, what happened, and how she survived. She learned she spent three days there before she found them; they proceeded to explain everything to her since Will’s disappearance in 83’. 

When all questions were answered she needed to process everything, a silence fell between them all and divided down in groups, Nancy and Robin leading the way, she in the middle processing what she had been told, and Steve and Eddie closing the walk, a bit far away from the girls. 

Steve couldn’t help but think about what Eddie had said earlier, he needed to understand, so he scooted a bit closer to the metalhead and whispered his name.

“Hey man, what did you—, what did you mean by that?” 

Eddie laughed, he kind of guessed what he was talking about, given the shock that appeared on his face earlier, “Why do you care, Harrington?” 

“I don’t— I just… I…” 

“You can lie to yourself or to anyone all you want.. I literally meant what I said, she and I, we.. get high sometimes, or when she needs a booty call.” 

“What? Since when?” 

“Well, we knew each other before but.. since she got dumped by some guy playing with her.. she didn’t want to tell me more but..”, the look on Steve’s face got him exactly what he needed, he winced, now understanding, “It was you, she was with you, wasn't she?” 

Steve nodded absentmindedly, his eyebrows turned in a frown, “Wait, she told you I was playing with her?” 

“Left her right after you guys fucked? Yeah, real douche move dude. You know she sets this one rule now because of you and that other guy?” 

At Steve’s dumbfoundedness Eddie carried on, “No kiss rule. She’s not kissing you, ever, while on a date, or while having sex, never ever. You pretty much screwed her up, she’s masking it as having fun, or that independence bullshit.. but it’s a coping mechanism, a very poor one at that..” 

“I didn’t mean to, it wasn’t a deliberate choice, I wanted to protect her from the Upside Down, I couldn’t tell her anything, I wanted to protect her from all of this...” 

“Why don’t you give her a try now, she survived three days alone without knowing anything, she seems pretty capable to me, capable of surviving without you, us.. It’s not your choice to make dude, but her’s.” 

He knew he was right, but at the time it wasn’t possible, the stakes were too high, and, at the same time, he wonders what would have happened if he had told her, it would be different, probably, but how? He already knew he had screwed up because he had broken their hearts in the process. He was back on that regret spiral. 

“I know..”

“You better do something about it, as much as I enjoy our time together, she's hurting and hiding it, and she won't let me in, call it fear or whatever, she reciprocates with you, so...”

Steve nodded slowly, looking at her back, with such sad, longing eyes. Desperate for her. He didn't even know where to begin, already sure she hated him too much to accept his apologies.

He was about to walk up to her when the earth shook once again under their feet. 

Steve’s feet stumbled to a tree, while she and Robin both fell on their arms, their heads taking a little hit, clearly surprised by the earthquake, their hands planted on the ground. Nancy had managed to stay stable on her feet, as Eddie held on to a rock.

With the nausea she felt, the vibrations of the earthquake, she felt her stomach giving her up, and when the earth started to be more stable she emptied the remaining of her stomach, a tired sob left her lips. She clearly was concussed, she knew it.

She spat on the ground, getting rid of whatever was left in her mouth, she felt so disgusting it was outrageous. Palms on the cold ground she found herself in the same position that hurt her side like hell, like pikes engulfed themselves inside her wound.

She shed more tears as her stomach did one more spasm, trying to empty all of its contents, she coughed, the forced contractions in her stomach by her body were worsening every ounce of pain and discomfort, she tried her hardest to steady her breathing as she felt her body trembling, her eyes closed shut. 

She felt a hand on her back, her eyes opened and met Steve next to her, concern written on his face, his eyes fixated on her, she could read an “Are you okay?” with the way his eyes were stuck on her.

“I can't get up.. It hurts so much,” she mouthed back to him so slowly he could barely hear it, her voice breaking down at the end of her sentence.

He grabbed her hand, and with his other hand he grabbed her side, his fingers applied more pressure into her side, and when he tried to pull both of them up, she couldn’t move, it hurt too much. She held her breath and cried out in pain, her body stiffening. 

“Don't— don't pull so hard, it's worse," her hand gripped tightly at the denim jacket, he breathed out, apologies muffled under his breath. 

One of his hands gripped her hips instead, a place he had already touched before in a more intimate way, but he forbade himself from even thinking of that, while the other was attached to her hand to guide her, letting her lean on him.

He helped her up, under the attentive eyes of their friends, ignoring them they were like in a bubble, she moved her hands gripping the jacket to instead intertwine their fingers as they got on their feet, tightening her hold.

Their eyes locked, and he was brought back to the first time he leaned in to kiss her, intimidated, suddenly unsure of his own ability to kiss. He was so close she could feel his breath hitting her face, her eyes looked down one second to his lips, and up his eyes.

They were caught up in some longing spiral, their touch started burning each other's skins, “Thank you,” she mouthed under her breath, hesitantly pulling away from him, he tried letting her know through his squeeze around her hips that she could lean on him, but she left, feeling the goosebumps and the warmth of her skin missing, demanding for more of each other than just lingering touches, begging for forgiveness.

Steve cleared his throat, his arms instinctively going back at his sides as he turned towards Robin and Nancy, he shed a tear away with his thumb that he hoped no one saw, but it didn't go unnoticed by her. 

She felt the walls she had built around her heart break off a little, those eyes were so full of emotions, she then let herself see that maybe, there was something behind the way he acted that night. 

Perhaps he hadn't played her. 

Perhaps he did love her, and all he wanted, was to keep her safe. 

The quintet then left towards Nancy's house, they were definitely better at orientation, which was hard on her, Nancy very easily found her way through the woods, and soon enough, they were walking across Hawkins.

Arriving around their neighbourhood, they separated through teams, Nancy with Steve and Robin, and her and Eddie, they weren't exactly neighbours, but their houses were not that far from each others'. 

Separately they walked towards their houses, as Nancy ran to her bedroom, she walked towards her garage, where her father kept his tools and his hunting gun.

Both couldn't find the guns.

“I don't understand, you said you had your father's gun,” Eddie said to her in a low voice, confused at her own confusion.

“I did because he bought one! In 84' after—” she paused abruptly, as it hit her in the face, the only reason for the gun to not be there— is because it didn't exist, yet. 

“After Barbara was found dead.. he said he wanted to keep us safe, even taught me how to use it since he leaves long periods of time for work..” she muttered under her breath, an idea popped in her head.

She often moved her furniture around, so it wasn't any useful to be sure of her idea, except the wallpaper,  Eddie was close behind asking her for clarifications as she moved through the house towards her room. Explanations she didn't offer until the door opened violently and there it was. 

“Goddamn it,” she muttered once again as she leaned against her desk, Eddie walked to her side, his hand softly pushed her arm to see her.

“I'm terribly lost.”

“This wallpaper is old, I changed it last summer, after the fire at Starcourt. This room is in the past. We're in the past.”

His eyes widened, his breath almost hitched in his throat, he redirected his brown irises towards her's. She found herself caught in those beautiful doe eyes, only it lasted a second too long.

“Don't look at me like that,” Eddie whispered under his breath, already regretting having commented on it, because it meant it happened, she had looked at him like there could be more and if she looked at him like that maybe she could reciprocate his feelings? Fucking Goddammit Eddie. It fucked with his brain and his feelings.

“Like what?”

“Like you could.. Like I’m Steve Harrington. I know he was the ex you saw before we started doing more than hanging out." 

She exhaled loudly, defeated, "Don't play Cupid between us please, I realise he probably wasn't playing me like I thought he was, but the disgust I felt that night.. like.. it’s like I'm just an object to use and get rid of. I see and I know that there’s more than just that now, but being taken advantage of once was already fucking me up, but twice..”, she came to a halt, but Eddie recognised she was stuck deep in her head, with a final sigh, she continued, eyes timidly searching for his, “I loved him.. it’s eating me alive. I'm sorry I used you, you deserve more than that." 

A small smile appeared on his lips, even though he could feel his heart break in pieces, he put both hands on her arms, softly his hands went up and down in a comforting way, “Listen, you don't even need to explain yourself to me, we were both agreeing on doing this with no expectations, and as much as I'm going to miss the freaky sexy times together, we're still friends. Please, talk to Steve.”

“I'll try. Thank you Eddie,” he smiled sympathetically at her, the shine is in his eyes giving her hope. 

Eddie muttered something about getting back to Nancy's house, in a comfortable silence they left, until on the way there, she saw what Steve had called a Demodog, walking nearby.

She gripped Eddie's arm, making him stop abruptly, she shushed him when he opened his mouth to protest, and pointed towards the creature. His face was livid, clearly afraid, he looked back at her and she pointed towards the road, where Nancy’s house stood around the corner, still silent, she instructed him to follow her, hands linked. 

Without a sound they walked, keeping an eye on the creature, Eddie leaned towards her to make it alive, very cautious at every movement they made, the Demodog lazily walked back towards the beginning of the cul-de-sac, they exhaled a bit in relief, quietly and raced faster to the house.

They shut the door on their way in, trying to catch their breath, relief so palpable on their features, Eddie shared a relieved, adrenaline driven laugh, “Fuck that was so close. You’re rocking the survivalist mode of life!” 

She giggled, but didn’t answer as Nancy and Robin were running down the stairs, they hadn't realised Steve was there, holding his flashlight towards their sudden entrance, clearly taken aback by their sudden arrival.

“You couldn't find the gun, could you?,” Nancy spoke first, ignoring Steve’s panicked face.

“No. My bedroom is the same way I used to have it back in 83’.” 

“Same, the last entry in my journal is from the day Will disappeared, we’re in the past, this Hawkins lives in the past!” 

“Told you,” she told the metalhead as she turned around.

“Okay but what are we doing now?” The long haired brunette walked up to them, following their thoughts, Nancy turned to Steve, her index pointing at him, “Before they stumbled, you were calling—”

“For Dustin, yeah, I heard him. He was in the walls or something, he... —I swear I heard him,” he cut her off, afraid to sound crazy. Robin was about to protest but they all halted, they heard voices from afar, distorted by the distance. Nancy widened her eyes, “Will. He found a way to speak to Joyce through the lights.”

“Steve and Nancy were looking for a switch, Robin, Eddie and her had caught something else. 

They knew painting a lightbulb could change the colour but this wasn't that. It was luminescent like fireflies, but red, on the ceiling, where the chandelier was.

“Nancy?” absentmindedly, she whispered as she walked to the chandelier, curious they put their hands up, trying to touch it, but that's the thing, there was nothing to touch, it was a tickle feeling. Her eyes fell upon Nancy's then Steve's, holding his gaze until he leveled with her.

“Come check this,” she whispered softly, “It's soft, it.. it's like—”

“It tickles,” he answered back, just as softly as her, tender brown eyes getting lost in her, their hands almost touched, and he could almost feel her warmth.

“Does anybody know morse code?” Nancy asked as everyone's hope subsided significantly because none of them knew it. Unless.. Eddie knew how to say SOS, and thank God for him, because they had no idea how to communicate otherwise, they probably would have made some incongruous message through the lights, not guaranteeing their way out.

In a frenzy coming from nowhere Nancy ran towards her little sister's room and grabbed the Lite Brite, the fifth of them sat in her room, observing Nancy interact with the kids in Hawkins through the toy.

She was completely amazed at this, how it worked so well to communicate, and soon enough they were on bikes, on their way to Eddie's trailer. Strangely, no creatures were seen or heard, surprisingly, they were alone on their bikes. When they reached what she learned to be Henry Creel's house, they saw rows and rows of bats encircling the house, guarding it.

Arriving at Eddie's trailer, the gate looked exactly like the one she had been pulled into, only bigger. 

She had a goosebump travelling along her back as she saw something trying to poke through it. 

It looked exactly like placenta, and it was absolutely disgusting, the gate revealed itself and their way out when they saw the kids on the roof, but they were.. upside down? Oh yeah, no doubt, she hated this place.

Dustin, whom she remembered from babysitting him when he was little and seeing here and there as he became friends with Eddie, had instructed his friends to get Eddie's mattress, to make a somewhat comfortable landing mat, watching the kids make a rope with sheets was a sight to see, their way out resolved around a gate, a makeshift rope and a dirty ass mattress.

Dustin threw the rope through the gate and true to his theories, the two sides answered to the law of gravity from both their own ends, it was absolutely insane to witness.

“This is so trippy,” Robin whispered as she looked at the teens through the gate. 

The fifth of them looked at each other, silently wondering who would be first, until Robin stepped up, “Guess I'm the guinea pig.” She held onto the rope, with her strength she pulled herself up until she reached the gate and she felt the gravity pulling her down.

“That's insane,” she muttered, completely in awe to witness Robin now upside down.

Eddie went second, and it kept amazing her to see how the physics worked, so surreal but fun.

Nancy was up next, both Steve and her were crouched down to offer some headway for Nancy, her smile subsided when she saw Steve's worried look on Nancy, she was stoic, and when she turned her gaze towards her face, she saw her eyes were rolled back. 

“Nancy ?,” they echoed each other, “Nancy, wake up, c'mon!” Steve as she strengthened her hold around Nancy’s back, and Steve followed her initiative to get her down on the mattress. 

“Guys, we need music, right now!” He shouted through the gate, her hands grabbing her shoulders, trying to shake her more vigorously. 

“Nancy! C'mon, come back to us!”

Nothing. They shared a worried look, any animosity forgotten as Nancy started trembling, 

“Nancy!”

[stevefromupsidedown]

FAÇADE — Pt, two : the portal on the highway ● steve harrington x f!reader

synopsis: Uh Oh. warnings: fem!reader with she/her pronouns, deaths, blood, gore and violence, references to mental health issues and low self esteem, very heavy on the angst, very little comfort, basically reader's the worst pessimist, very introspective, references to sexual themes, 18+ ONLY (overall warnings for the series, read at your own risk) This material is @takemetothelakes-poets’ property.

PT, THREE | SERIES MASTERLIST | CHAPTER PLAYLIST

"We're in the Southeast of Roane County, where another Hawkins High student's body has been discovered this morning on the highway. We do not have details on the circumstances, nor the names of the victims. The police are not sharing any information on this investigation. But this puts in question the competence of the new sheriff in town, Calvin Powell, as this is the second murder in less than twenty four hours since Forest Hills trailer park's murder yesterday. Even though they're actively investigating the murders, the community of Hawkins has yet another tragedy to overcome on this once-peaceful town.  Stay here on channel nine and we'll keep you informed over the progression of the investigation. This is Beverly Moss." 

She stayed paralysed in front of the TV, not believing yet another tragedy in Hawkins since the Sheriff had died in the fire of Starcourt Mall, she recalls her conversation with Eddie last summer when it was announced. Year after year there has to be something, doesn’t it?

A voice broke her train of thoughts, tilting her head from the TV, she sees her friend with benefits getting close to her, she recalls she accepted on staying a few days at his house for Spring Break, in Indianapolis instead of being alone in Hawkins.

She redirected her head away as she saw him advance for a kiss, “I’ve told you, no strings attached, so no kiss.” 

She heard him grumble something but she didn’t pay any mind to it, and actually, with one final glance towards him and no explanation whatsoever, she took everything that belonged to her —which wasn’t a lot— and left his house, ignited her car and started driving to Hawkins.

Nothing kept her in Indianapolis, but in Hawkins, she had Eddie, and the thought that he could be one of those killed, she hated it. Eddie.. 

Eddie wasn’t her only thought, but she refused, no, she condemned any thoughts that led towards Steve Harrington. 

He had used her, stripped her of any confidence she had left in her, he had proved to her he was like she imagined him to be and not this image of him Dustin had given her, an image she had blindly trusted like a fool. What an idiot she was. The fact that it happened twice was the absolute worst, those two occurrences made her believe she could be and do like them. 

She could take and never give, she would never give or very little. The pain wasn’t worth it for her. 

Give someone the power to destroy her life once again? Absolutely not. 

So she took —nameless friend with benefits and Eddie— and never offered, or very little —only Eddie.

She refused any act of intimacy that could make her want more, the kisses were the boundary. The line to never cross, and she respected that rule like her life depended on it. 

Eddie was the only that respected that rule, maybe because he knew her before, he wasn’t a stranger to her, they had known eachother since he had buzz cut hair and made his first trials with his band. 

He was her main worry, and seeing the Welcome sign at the entry highway of Hawkins was a relief, slowing down as she came across the unlit portion of the road, she felt uneasiness growing in her, she stumbled upon a road blocked sign on the roadway, but only one portion of the road was closed.

She decided on driving under ten miles per hour, and looked to her left and saw something she didn't understand. Doing a double take, she couldn’t believe whatever was on the road.

Confused, she parked her car along the roadside. She took a small branch on the edge of the forest while exiting her vehicle, closing the car and leaving towards the road sign.

She stepped into the crime scene ribbon, she carefully walked towards the thing, the more she was closer the more she realised it looked like it vibrated, or like, reproduced some kind of vibrations, slow, steady. 

The center was red, it reflected some light, its surrounding was like a crown of black leaves and vines, it was.., it was very weird.  She didn’t understand. 

A shadow moved on the other side, it was.. it looked like something was trying to come out of it. Stringy, black, ropes or something were around it, almost, crawling? Was that a thing? 

Her shaky hand brought the branch closer, and with it she tried to poke the thing, it pierced it, like a soft boiled egg, the white was very soft, and the yellow had to be pierced to eat the egg, well, the yellow of the egg looked exactly like the red-pink thing with the shadow, it was disgusting. 

Through the hole she poked, a small stringy living rope crawled its way towards the branch and her arm. 

She didn't react in time, the thing wrapped around her arm so fast she couldn’t process what was happening, nonetheless, it crawled around her arm and when she tried to pull it away from her it tightened its hold. A few seconds later she was pulled into the thing, her arm violently dragged through it, her upper body going through it first. 

Only a sickening, high-pitched scream left her lips.

[stevefromupsidedown]

FAÇADE — Pt, one : the heartbreak ● steve harrington x f!reader

synopsis: First kisses are magical, right? warnings: english's not my first language, fem!reader with she/her pronouns, deaths, blood, gore and violence, references to mental health issues and low self esteem, very heavy on the angst, very little comfort, basically reader's the worst pessimist, very introspective, references to sexual themes, 18+ ONLY (overall warnings for the series, read at your own risk) This material is @takemetothelakes-poets’ property.

PT, TWO | SERIES MASTERLIST | CHAPTER PLAYLIST

Summer ‘85. Starcourt burned down and Sheriff Hopper was announced dead on the city’s televised news, smoke blowing through her vision and blurs the screen for a few seconds before it dissipates. 

She looks to where it comes from, deep brown curls fall past his shoulders, she can see his tattoos peeking through his white tight vest top. 

Eyes go from the tv to her’s, his eyebrows widen slightly as he hands her the cigarette he rolled, a look in his eyes she can’t decipher yet, she takes a puff out of it and hands it back to him, “There’s something really weird about this town,” her voice is hoarse as the smoke leaves her lips and Eddie can’t seem to stop staring at her, losing himself in all the unthinkable thoughts he’s not supposed to have about her.

He breaks out of his haze as he takes it back and finishes the cigarette, “What do you mean?” 

“Byers’ kid, Barbara, the Sheriff ?,” she leans her knees against his leg as she sits cross-legged on his sofa, “And don’t tell me it’s a coincidence, nothing ever happens and suddenly a kid goes missing, is found dead, buried then out of nowhere is found alive? Same week, Barbara goes missing, and a year later her death is explained? Eight months later, Hopper’s dead in a burning mall that’s been there for what, barely four months? That’s coincidental?” 

“Damn, Sherlock Holmes. You’re so smart.” 

“Stop mocking me, you’re so fucking high.” 

“Yeeeah, it’s starting to hit,” he started to laugh, that high pitch voice with that contagious smile of his, his head fell against her arm, his dark curls falling on her lap, she couldn’t help but join him and laugh too, and damn, did he love that sound, but he wouldn’t act on it, as he knows she wasn’t in a good place to reciprocate anything, but God, he would die a satisfied man just to be able to taste her lips once, just once, would that be so much to ask for?

Maybe so. 

A few months later, a new school year has started and Eddie’s back in highschool and with her help, he might actually get his diploma, Steve managed to get this job at Family Video, thanks to Robin, he goes to dates almost every day with the week, sometimes with the same young women, until eventually he was disappointed because it’s not quite what he expected, since Nancy broke up with him, Steve's lovelife and self confidence was basically nonexistent. 

He hadn’t realised it at first, because he hated being too introspective, but he was bored and lost, purposeless, at the dawn of his twenty-first birthday, he felt like he didn’t know who he was, who was he really under the façade he hid under from all the wrong influences in his life ? 

His father and his primal instinct to be a shark and possess and control everything in his life in the name of pride and masculinity. Being successful meant money, a good car, good house, good wife, good and successful son. Did he really want that life? 

He had wanted it once, with Nancy, but what would their life look like? Copy and paste his father’s life? No. This, he was sure, he didn’t want to hide in the conformity he was supposed to fall under, he refused to resemble the shadow of himself he once hid under with the nickname “King Steve”. 

Unsure of what his purpose could be, but, he knew he wanted, needed to make meaningful connections, something that makes him vibrate, something that lets him know for sure that he’s surrounded with the right persons. 

He’s found himself on dates, searching for those meaningful connections, excited to branch out, lost in both amusement then frustration of not feeling something and not finding someone. Sometimes it led to his bedroom in the gargantuan house he had trouble consider his home. He had nice moments, but he longed for something more than sex, he longed for someone new in his life, someone freshening up his views on people and life.

The chime in the shop’s entry wakes him up from the quick checkup of his life he was doing in his head, not that glorious he thought, before he forced himself on the task he had started, which was to register the tapes back in stock in the software and control the tapes before he could put them back.

A voice came from the back, one he knew was familiar, but struggled to put a name on until she arrived, accompanied with one voice he knew and would recognise even in the Upside Down, Dustin arrives, greets him and makes a run for the Sci-Fi section, “Don't run, Dustin, something falls you’re cleaning up, I warn you!” 

He hears him say something but he doesn’t listen, instead his eyes focus on the young woman that walked in with the teenager. 

He remembers her, not that vividly because it brought back memories of his past self and immediately he feels ashamed of himself, of who he used to be. He remembers her from highschool, the same grade as him, she was more or less friends with Nancy and Barbara, they had spoken on very little occasions. He remembered she was usually in her own little bubble, not really caring about the etiquettes of a highschooler, even if at that time, he was very attached to that. She knew she was titled as an outcast, having very few friends, being called mean names, essentially by Tommy and Carol and him of course. 

He may have been called King Steve, he was a follower, a sheep. 

He also remembers that Will and Barbara’s disappearing were the turning point in Nancy’s and her friendship, it broke everything, his ex-girlfriend’s guilt and shame being the main culprit, he saw her in the hallways and in some of his classes. She always looked passive, disinterested in any highschool activities. 

With a timid smile, he stood up, her name on his lips, “Were you looking for something?” 

She seems confused at first, because he remembers her name, so what Dustin had told him was true? Steve had changed, and he was in his highest esteem, “No, um— actually I came in with Dustin, I’m paying for the movie.” 

He didn’t have time to say anything else, or apologise, Dustin came back with the movie Alien, excited and handed the tape to Steve, who registered it to her name and their first meeting stopped there, and Steve felt disappointed he couldn’t say anything more but she had to come back to give the tape back, right? Or would that be Dustin? He felt a flash of hope that quickly went away. 

He was right, though. She came back later that week to give the tape back, he thought he would never find the courage to talk to her besides doing customer small talk, but as she was leaving, her hand on the door ready to push, and goddammit she’s about to get away!— “Wait!” 

She stops dead in her tracks, their eyes lock; it starts there. 

Platonic coffee dates turned into seeing movies at the cinema, turned into sharing a plate of fries after a screening of A Nightmare on Elm Street 2, at a diner, hiding in a booth in a corner, loud laughs and giggles coming from them. 

Steve didn't realise it immediately but there was a deep connection between them, with more and more time spent with her, and none spent with the other girls, he realised, this might be it. She might be it. 

He let himself dive into the newness of their relationship, and how fresh and good it felt. 

It’s after a few days of staring down at her lips, whenever she talked, bit her lip or wetted her lips with her tongue that he felt captured by them. 

Then her smile grew on him, it was so contagious he couldn’t help but smile whenever she did, but the worst of it all, that made him understand he was down bad, was that his imagination was betraying him, actually it was worse, both his imagination and free will were working against him as he longed for any kind of opportunity to get up close to her, it was driving him crazy. 

She was driving him crazy with her full, inviting lips that looked chapped from all the time she bit down on them out of habit from nervousness, but none of it mattered because he needed to taste them. He would die a happy man just to be able to taste her lips once.

One time, at the drive-in, he had been brave during the movie to rest his hand on her thigh, her head spun to meet his eyes, their gaze locked in, she smiled at him as she intertwined their fingers, with the lights reflecting on her face, he knew, but he didn’t act on it, yet. 

Driving her back to her house, his hand lingered on her thigh and didn’t move unless he really needed it, he parked and hand in hand they walked to the front door, she turned on the fairy lights on her porch, her back completely leaning on the front door, their hands tangled. 

The ghost of a smile appeared on her lips as she looked at their hands, her head looked up to meet his eyes and her smile widened and shined so bright he mirrored her smile.

He felt it was the right moment, but he was timid, almost as frightened as for his first ever kiss. 

One of his hands travelled to her face gently, his fingertips touching delicately her cheek, his touch glided down the left side of her jaw, he cupped her chin in his fingers, his eyes traveled her face to memorise every softness and curve, the shine and the hope in her eyes, their eyes connected and never left one another's gaze, both so into their moment, their little bubble.

“Can I—”, he started but his voice broke, his fear was sincere, she was sure of that, he was so vulnerable with her. He didn't want to misread, mess up everything they had together, a fond smile formed on her lips and she leaned closer until their noses touched, their eyes closed to the proximity.

“You can always kiss me, Steve,” she murmured against his lips then she lightly pushed her lips on his, it was hesitant on both sides, a very tender peck on the lips, they disconnected quickly, foreheads touching as they took their time to process that they were kissing and they both wanted it as bad as the other. 

His other hand left hers’ and brought her face closer to his, palms along her jaw, and their lips met a second time as they moved in sync, his lips pulled harder on hers’, he grew more confident, comfortable and greedy, he knew, right there and then, that he would never get tired of kissing her. He didn't know if it was love, he didn’t have a clue how to describe it because how the hell does one know if it’s love, but he knew for sure he felt the connection he's been yearning for. 

That night, he left her with a kiss on her lips and her forehead as he wanted nothing more than to hold her close to him. 

And, fuck, he should have seen it coming then. 

Steve started feeling the doubt coming in, it had nothing to do with trust, or the lack of it, but because of the Upside Down, and the lies he would have to make up if —or when— he would have to protect the kids again. He couldn't tell her about that place, about the nightmares he gets sometimes, about why he needs their relationship to be super slow, because if he explains about him and Nancy, he needs to explain about Barbara, Will, and El, and he can't. He fucking can’t.

He cannot invite her in that insanity, he cannot risk her life just for the sake of having her. It starts to weigh on him, shifting between enjoying the laughs, the giggles, the kisses with her and the guilt, the inevitable hurt he's going to force on them.

He feels himself slowing down even furthermore, conflicted. He feels selfish for wanting love and warmth that she provides with such ease. Kisses and caring touches that she gives away so.. easily, feeling so comfortable around him, like she might have found someone who loved her for her, and not for the prize of having seduced her.

She was okay with the slow pace, in fact she was on board with it as she needed it after the last relationship she had, or the lack of it, the result of investing herself in someone who only had the intention of getting in her pants, pain and lack of confidence were the prize she hadn’t asked for but had been delivered to because of this stupid boy.

She truly believed Steve was different, he had matured, he proved it to her every time they spent time together, always so patient, because he didn't set the pace according to her but to them, only explained he didn't want to go fast, he wanted to enjoy the little moments they could have.  Flirtatious moments transformed into make out sessions, lust and longing made it difficult to walk back from it if they were to cross the line.

What Steve didn’t know yet is that she had talked to Dustin, the day they came in together at Family Video was totally by luck —or was it fate?—, it had been raining cats and dogs and she saw the teenager waiting for it to pass with his bicycle. She had proposed to help him out, in honor of old time’s sake, being his babysitter when he was smaller, he remembers he looked up to her and was actually happy to see her. 

Dustin knew Eddie, being a member of the Hellfire’s club, it was full circle, and helping him out that day meant going to Family Video so he could rewatch Alien with Eddie in honor of the sequel arriving soon. 

In the car they had talked, mainly about Eddie, but on their way back, Dustin couldn’t stop about Steve being so much better than he was. She trusted Dustin’s judgment, so she gave him a chance, just to see what could come out. It turned out.. it was going well, right?

Steve didn't want to hurt her and was torn between stopping everything before they spent the night together and keep going because he felt so good around her, he loved being with her, seeing her smile, hearing her laugh. 

He hadn't planned to fall so hard for her, he was so distraught, he felt like he was paralysed, he knew he had to stop it all, but the lust, the longing, the feelings he had for her got him spiralling into an amazing night with her. Remorse ran deep and almost immediately.

He didn't know if he could spend a day without hearing her moan his name so slowly, in a whisper, it drove him crazy. And beyond that, even if he loved the intimacy they had together, he loved her warmth, the goosebumps when he kissed her skin, the horror he experienced with the Upside Down quickly caught up on him. Shallow breaths left his lips as he caught his heartbeat rumble vividly in his chest.

While she was in her bathroom cleaning up, he felt anxiety creep up on him like a shadow crawling on his skin, sharpened claws clawing his chest, goosebumps rising in his body in fear. He caught the shortening of breath and the tightening in his chest as it happened. Flight or fight. 

Flight?

Fight?

Fl—fuck.

He dressed up in a hurry, he grabbed his keys from her desk, messily fixing his hair with his hand when he heard the bathroom's door open, he closed his eyes, cursing himself. 

Flight.

They observed each other in silence, keys in hand, her fingers gripping so tightly the towel she had around her shoulder to provide her some warmth, her body tensed, and she felt like she had just taken an ice cold shower. The glow and the softness in her heart from the aftercare and all the delicate kisses and touches broke away like glass shattering. Her body started shaking from the cold in her house and the shock. 

"You—,” her voice broke, she cleared her throat, but it came out broken, voice coarse, in a murmur she tried again, “You're leaving?" 

The way it came out, it sounded like it destroyed her as she spoke, it’s like saying it had made it real, their chest felt heavier by the second, the tears watering her eyes.

Fuck, he hated himself.

He had trouble finding his voice again, he had to try again too, his voice holding the weight of his actions, "I remembered— I…” 

Nothing came out. He couldn’t lie, nor could he tell the truth. 

“I'm sorry." 

He could hear their heartbreaks, feeling his own sink in his ribcage, he swallowed the lump in his throat, "I can’t do this," he whispered again and held back the tears as he escaped her eyes, walking away from her, from them.

He could hear her call his name as he walked, running down the stairs after him, his long legs got him to his car in a matter of a few seconds, he started it and drove away to his house, his vision blurry with tears as he saw her in the rearview mirror of his car, the image of her, barefoot on the entryway, in the middle of a November night, in only her shorts and tank top.

He saw her tears falling, her hands cupping her face as she sobbed. 

It’s not how it was supposed to go. They were supposed to be happy, tangled bodies wrapped in her blanket, discussing until dawn.

She went back to her room, walking, she was the shadow of herself, her eyes met the mirror she had stuck to the back door of her room, she hated what she saw. 

Instinctively she put on the sweatshirt that’s been sitting on her desk, she hadn't seen it was Steve's, until she realised it smelled like him, she held a fist of material, unsure of what had happened, and how it happened. She was confused at first, dumbfounded by the situation, until she realised she had been taken advantage of, again. 

She hated herself for it, she screamed into her pillow, thankful that the house was empty, no one could hear the cries of despair and rage. She ripped apart the Polaroids she had of them together, getting rid of everything on her desk out of rage, yells coming from betrayal, she ended up sitting on the floor, sobbing, suffocating. 

She felt stupid, such an idiot to think that Steve Harrington could love her, that anyone could love her, that he could have been the one, and that people seemed to only want her for the prize of it, for the pleasure they could get out of it. Like she was some prey for the others to take.

Parked in front of his empty house, Steve couldn't leave his car, he felt so terrible for making her go through this again, even while he loved her so much, he couldn't be with her, and he hated himself so much for it. Shaky breaths left his lips, in one moment of rage the side of his hand hit the steering wheel, yelling. 

Then he started crying, feeling so much shame, so much guilt, like an idiot. The anxiety crept once more on him as he felt difficulty breathing. Another panic attack. That night they both fell asleep in exhaustion, crying themselves to sleep. 

A week after, while Steve was sorting out the gifts he had bought for the teenagers and Robin and Nancy for Christmas, when he fell upon hers’,  he decided to hide it in his dresser, knowing full well he wouldn't give it to her, because they no longer were on speaking terms. 

It had started out so good but had stopped so abruptly.

[stevefromupsidedown]

This material is @takemetothelakes-poets’ property.

S: From stolen glances, to stolen kisses, to getting stranded in the Upside Down with an unknown threat, what could be worse for her ? Everything in between. Steve, can your love be enough to save her, your relationship and everything in between? W: fem!reader with she/her pronouns, no physical description unless necessary and no use of Y/n, deaths, blood, gore and violence, references to mental health issues, references to sexual themes, very introspective, 18+ only, angst, hurt/tardive comfort WC: 60k+

PART I

PT, ONE : THE HEARTBREAK  | 3.4k PT, TWO : THE PORTAL ON THE HIGHWAY | 1k PT, THREE : THE UPSIDE DOWN | 7k PT, FOUR : THE FOUR CHIMES | 18k

PART II

PT, FIVE : THE MORNING AFTER | 4.5k PT, SIX : HAWKINS’S PARTY | 5.1k PT, SEVEN : THE SPY AND THE SPIED | 5.6k PT, EIGHT : THE BATTLE OF HAWKINS | 8.9k PT, NINE : THE THUNDER IN OUR HEARTS | 4k PT, TEN : “still loving you, i need your love” | WIP BONUS ENDING : PT, ELEVEN : "je rêve" | WIP // to unlock via reblog/comments

[This material falls under @takemetothelakes-poets’ property. I do not give permission for this material to be copied, modified, reproduced, displayed and used in AI without my written permission. The original characters belong to their original creators, are used in fair-use and are protected by International Copyright Law.]

*fonts here and here used in graphic header.

[stevefromupsidedown]

FAÇADE — Pt, eight : the battle of Hawkins • steve harrington x f!reader

synopsis: Steve will do anything to be alongside her, even in death. warnings: english's not my first language, fem!reader with she/her pronouns, deaths, blood, gore and violence, references to mental health issues and low self esteem, references to sexual themes, angst, slow burn, hurt/late comfort 18+ ONLY/DNI (overall warnings for the series, read at your own risk) This material falls under @takemetothelakes-poets’ property.

PT, NINE | SERIES MASTERLIST | CHAPTER PLAYLIST

The Upside Down was strangely quiet, there was not a particular direction set for them, finding a good enough place to hide and rest was their only goal for now. 

The group of hunters didn’t follow them, they probably thought they were maniacs for going into the gates, which… you know, perspectives. 

Not a sound was shared within the group, they had all gained back consciousness to Will’s voice waking them, throbbing headaches, nausea, more bruises and scratches, only the common goal to find someplace safe enough to rest. 

They walked through the woods for a bit, without knowing how much time had passed or what time or day it was, lost in darkness with only the red lightning shooting through the dark sky, and lost in time as Hawkins was lost in 83’ and with no sunlight nor moonlight to guide them. 

Marching along demolished houses, Hopper’s guess was to keep going until they got close enough to Hawkins’ centre; the closer the buildings were to the edge of the forest, the safer they were. 

“I know someplace, not far from here, Bradley’s Big Guy, down Center Street, there’s food and bottled water, it’s safe,” Will paused, waiting for an answer as everyone had stopped and turned to look at him, confused at the piece of information. 

“If it’s not destroyed, I could—”

“No,” Hopper interrupted, frowning, stoic and quite uncomfortable that a teenager would provide for them, he was the adult, he had to be the guardian.. didn’t he? “No. No one goes out anywhere alone, and how do you know that, kid?”

Will repositioned his hand around Dustin’s waist to get a firmer grip, finding himself quite embarrassed, “It’s.. it’s how I survived the first time around..” he added in a low voice, watching Hopper’s face turn into shame.. The realisation felt like a slap on the face, those kids have been surviving for years, and as of lately, without him, those kids have been going through this for four years now, they weren’t helpless nor incapable. They grew up on this, with this.

“Right.. It’s a good idea Will. We’ll go later, we have enough food for today, we need to find somewhere to rest first.” 

They kept on walking the length of the street, until they found a house, they had a direct access to the forest as it was on the edge, and Bradley’s Big Guy was about one block away, the library and police station were about three blocks away, so they were pretty close to the centre without catching anyone or anything’s attention. 

The house was a perfectly fine place to crash given the situation, they ate in silence, and used baby wipes to try and clean themselves a little bit, they emptied the packs of baby wipes given their number, and silently said their farewell to having proper hygiene. 

They decided on who takes watch first, and quickly everyone walked upstairs except Steve and Nancy who both covered the front and back doors. 

Steve had absolutely no desire nor the capability to fall asleep after the events of the previous days.

The Upside Down was uncharacteristically quiet, Steve had taken a barstool to take breaks standing up, watching through the windows, hidden by the curtain, there were no creatures, except Demobats he had seen fly after some time but it was very calm otherwise, which felt just worse. 

Moving a bit in the kitchen’s windows he saw the familiar shadowy form of the Mind Flayer’s head, far from there, it looked right in their direction but it was so stoic. 

Steve had goosebumps just observing it doing nothing but knowing he was watched, made him feel terrible. The powerlessness that came with that fact was like the weight of the sky on his shoulders. 

In need of a break he made his way to Nancy and discovered her in the living room, sitting on the sofa’s headrest, she turned her head when she heard him move, he sat down on the stairs’ first steps, sighing lightly. 

“Did you see anything?”

He shook his head, his fingers playing with the hem of his long sleeve shirt, “No, Demobats some time ago, and the Mind Flayer’s creepy head, but no, it’s.. It’s strangely quiet, don’t you think?” 

“It’s weird, yeah, we’re accustomed to more violence and attacks from the Upside Down, which only makes me wonder, how terrible is it gonna be when it comes?” 

He agreed, his head shaking, humming a little bit, giving thoughts to what she said, she was right, she had vocalised his worries, but Steve was quieter than usual, more.. kept together, which didn’t look like him to Nancy, and she couldn’t be more wrong. 

He absolutely wasn’t kept together, his train of thoughts had naturally derived to her and Eddie and he couldn’t stop worrying about them, “Do you think we’ll find them?” 

Now she could see through his worry, it’s almost like she didn’t recognise that side of him, he had changed so much, in the best way and she had failed to see that, but she stopped her thoughts from diving in dangerous territories and turned her body to face him. 

Steve’s lover’s name fell from her lips and his body had a visceral feeling, a longing so deep from his soul like he was lost without her, and he was, but Nancy continued, “She survived for a few days on her own without any knowledge of the Upside Down. I’m sure they’ll be okay, I’m only hoping we’ll find them quickly and soon.” 

His eyebrows furrowed, his frame turning more to her, “Do yo—,” he started but was cut off by screams echoing in the darkness, coming from one block away maximum, she turned around and Steve rushed to her side to try and catch a glance. 

The buildings and houses covered the entirety of it and they couldn’t see anything, the screams kept on going until Nancy gasped louder than she had intended to let out and Steve wanted to ask what until he saw. 

The Mind Flayer had gotten drastically closer to them, the swarm of Demobats left and the cries and screams quieted down, under their very frightened eyes and paralysed bodies by fear they watched as the Mind Flayer arrived closer and closer, with one singular, strident scream, the shadowy creature moved its two arms on the front and it being so gargantuan it moved at incredible speed to join the opposite side of town, overlooking the Upside Down once again. 

Steve and Nancy looked at each other, dumbstruck, unsure if they hallucinated what they just witnessed. 

They rushed to wake up everyone upstairs to explain what just happened only to find Will sitting on the floor, his head in his hands, the rest of the group around him. 

“What’s happening?,” 

“The Mind Flayer.. Those screams.. Please tell me I wasn’t hallucinating,” Will spoke directly to Nancy, his eyes red and wet, 

“You guys heard those too?” 

“‘T was pretty hard to miss. Will woke us up, saying that the Mind Flayer was coming, that he was hunting, he was.. he talked so fast, we couldn’t understand anything else,” Hopper calmly said, his eyes attentive to Will. 

Nancy explained them what they had witnessed, meanwhile Steve was deep in his thoughts, he had a feeling he knew who were attacked, he wanted to be wrong of course, but he couldn’t ignore his instinct, the voice behind the screams was so similar to him, “We have to go see if we can help whoever’s out there,” his voice broke through, everyone turned to him, either shocked or confused.

“We could get killed, are you insane?!” Jonathan was the first one to answer, he was equally as confused as everyone else but he grew tired of the situation, it seemed to be a never-ending situation where they continuously got hurt, followed, nearly killed.

Steve felt uneasy as soon as he heard him, and.. he was quite angry too, “We could get killed at any moment by being here, if it were you, wouldn’t you want to be given help if you were still alive? If it were Will? Nancy? We wouldn’t be talking about it, we would already be doing it, Jonathan,” Steve paused, he hadn’t felt so much anger towards Jonathan in years, and it seemed he was completely lashing out his anger.. And his truth. 

He hadn’t said anything to both Jonathan and Nancy when she had gone to him to be their own couple while they hadn’t officially put an end to their relationship, he felt cheated on but said nothing, and even having moved on from them, he hated it all. He hated still having to deal with this with them because Jonathan or Nancy would decide if something would have meaning or be accepted without a single thought back, while Steve has been considered the stupid and irresponsible one everywhere he stepped, he was immensely aware of that and he had enough. 

He took a step closer to Jonathan, who stood next to Nancy, 

“Your mother would be screaming both of your names without a care in the world that it would pinpoint all the creatures to us and we would be prey served on a silver platter, but you’re right, let’s not go help someone in need even if we’re in deep shit ourselves, let’s be so selfish we might stay here and rot and wait for either creatures to come find and kill us all. After all, you’ve always been one to disregard one’s feelings and trust your most selfish instinct isn’t that correct? You two are made for each other,” Steve finished, his words spitting venom that shocked everyone, but his head turned to Nancy, his glance never leaving hers’ with the most serious and warning look imprinted in his pupils. 

He left the room, leaving the room confused as to why would he lash out like that, and mostly, how it didn’t look like him at all, except Nancy, she felt like she was a deer caught by headlights, and she knew very well what he was referring to, Jonathan didn’t quite understand what it meant, he played it off as everyone was tired and irritable.

Being in such a large group and living a nightmarish situation, it was bound to create tension between tired, irritable and hurt people, but out of everyone, he didn’t expect Steve to be one of those as he always thought of him as.. small-minded and, well, idiotic. Jonathan’s opinion hadn’t changed from high-school which made him as narrow-minded as Steve believed him to be. 

They heard the front door closing shut and it sort of awaken everyone as they realised Steve had left, with a strangeness in their eyes, Hopper and Joyce left the floor and were quick on their feet to follow him, the kids copied the adults, the couple was left in the room, looking at each other, dumbfounded. 

Reluctantly, they followed the rest of the group until there was no one left. 

Steve was trying to pinpoint the exact location, upon the road he was only met with fractured asphalt and vines, the store was what he found first, he was about to step inside when he heard Hopper’s stopping him, asking him to wait for them, “We leave no one behind, got it?” 

He nodded, only half heartedly, Steve knew that he wouldn’t be much of a priority to anyone, and there was no point sugarcoating it, it was a fact and he was aware of it. His closest and best friend Robin was dead so he had no one close enough for it, except Eddie and her, if he managed to find them, and he had an intuition telling him he wasn’t far from them. That gave him enough of a motivation and will to act on it. 

Dustin was in between Mike and Will as they seemed to be his designated human crutches, but they didn’t mind; the three of them were somewhat content to have each other, Steve waited for them, and stepped after, not bothering to wait for Nancy and Joanthan from afar. 

They scavenged whatever they could find, whether it was food —Hopper didn’t trust canned food from the Upside Down, he wouldn’t be able to explain why, but he didn’t so they settled for packaged food in see through plastic— and absolutely anything that could be useful to make weapons or first aid kits. 

Leaving his aisle, small flashlight in hand —Hopper had given them when they had left his cabin, Steve had completely forgotten he had it as he had escaped death a million times before and using a flashlight didn’t seem smart— Steve had gone to the back of the aisle to search again until he found droplets of dried, marooned blood on the ground. 

His curiosity piqued, he followed it, it lead to the back, the workers’ only area, the clear glass doors intact and dirtied with numerous things including dried blood, it lead to a corridor with the back entrance and another room, no doors, it seemed to be used as a storage space and break room. 

He entered the latter as he followed the trail of blood, piles of clothes and cloths to make what seemed like a makeshift mattress, also bloodied, but it was fresher, it looked a bit sticky, coagulated, and didn’t look like the trail, or at least there were two different trails of blood. 

He sighed, he retraced his steps and decided on following down the corridor and exited through the back door, as he did so, Dustin had realised he had gone off and terribly wanted to follow him, he asked Mike to provide him with broomsticks and rubber, he fabricated crutches quickly and was able to follow Steve through the corridor, Mike and Will on his heels. 

They walked for only a few feet when they saw two people on the ground, one lying on his back, the other on the side, unfortunately, they could see who it was, Eddie’s hair was recognisable from that distance, they’ve all stopped in their tracks. 

Steve’s heart stopped, his legs were glued on the asphalt. His heartbeat suddenly grew louder in his ears, time had stopped. The world around him was crumbling down upon him and he was left powerless. 

No. No. No, no no, no, no, no. It can’t be..

Please, for the love of God, No. 

Dustin’s voice broke him out from his paralysis, the poor teenager was next to Eddie, and for a second, it’s like they were reliving the same scene, days prior.

Dustin was crying out, hands tightly gripped to Eddie’s leather jacket, his cheeks and his eyes drowning in his tears, he was very vocal, just uncontrollable sob after another. 

He approached, cautiously as his knees were weakening, step after step it hit him more and more. 

Arriving at Dustin's level, his eyes first laid on Eddie, there was absolutely no doubt that he was dead, the amount of blood he had around him was.. deeply concerning. Pale lips, skin, the rigidness in his limbs, the emptiness in his eyes.. The pool of blood around him and on him..  it didn’t lie. 

His eyes fell upon her hands tightly intertwined in his, and from this moment it felt like an out of body experience. He crouched down next to Dustin, brought a trembling hand towards Eddie’s jaw, around where his jugular should be, an unsettling chill ran down his body when his fingertips touched coldness and rigid skin, he didn’t say anything, he only closed his eyes, his hand briefly touching his back to let him know he was there, and left Dustin to crouch next to her. 

Same trembling hand touched around her neck and he was shaken by a violent wave of hope, he could sense a fragile pulse, her skin was warmer and not as stiff, he lied her on her back, he was struck by the amount of blood she had on herself, some of it had to be Eddie’s, but he could see the difference between theirs, and immediately Steve tried looking for a wound, looking around her face, her neck, then his hands proceeded to lower his inspection, her cleavage then her arms, one side of her abdomen then the other and —Fuck! 

His eyes and brows widened in shock, fingertips soaked in blood, again, he didn’t know much, but he knew not to remove what was impaled in her lower abdomen. He completely fell on his knees, his eyes did double takes to her wound and her unresponsive face, he saw the faint rhythm of her stomach moving up and down, an immediate reaction of lo.. something struck him and his hands grabbed her cheeks, moving her face so she was facing him. 

His finger pads inspected her hair line as he felt scabs and he sensed many, small cuts, he could feel the inflamed skin under the bruises, her name fell from his lips like a never ending spell, conjuring her to open her eyes and talk to him. He longed to see the colour of her eyes and the sound of her voice, to see a tiny smile appear around the corner of her lips, it would appease his mind, pacify his every anxious thoughts. 

To Hopper approaching it sounded like a solemn prayer, he couldn’t quite see who was with Dustin and Steve until he was closer and he stopped in his tracks, he knew the Munson kid from afar as the sheriff he had had encounters with him, he had never been so strongly opinionated as the rest of town since he knew Eddie’s background, always let him go with a warning as he was himself not so.. uninfluenced.

As for her.. he did know her family, but not that well, he remembers seeing her here and there in town, walking home from high-school, ignoring the cars full of her classmates making fun of her as they drove, he remembers that; he also remembers not doing anything about it. Watching it happen. 

Joyce approached Hopper, who got closer to Mike and Will, the four of them felt powerless, and completely out of it as they saw Dustin’s never ending sobs and Steve’s tentative of waking her up, even if most of them didn’t really know who she was. 

Steve was panicking upon the facts that a. They were in the Upside Down, b. Eddie was dead, c. he felt the most gut wrenching guilt to have been with her, having had incredible moments with her as a couple when he knew that trying to find love would lead to this situation, he felt responsible for it, and he hated himself for it, she shouldn’t have gotten involved, she didn’t deserve all the pain, injuries it inflicted her. She didn’t deserve any of this and trying to get her to wake up, brought all of his guilt, shame, allowed it to weigh his chest more.

If she would die, he would be responsible, it would be his fault, and he would die to make up for it.

Hopper silently suggested that they bring her with them to a nearby house as they were too exposed, so he detached their fingers intertwined together and carried Eddie towards the woods, and tried his best to pay him the respect and rest he deserves, even in death. Steve insisted on carrying her even though his leg hurt from the additional weight he carried, it felt like he carried the remorse he felt, like he deserved it.

Mike had gone to Dustin to help him up, he gently walked him back to the group and they followed Steve to the house he was walking to. Will was fast to open the door and let everyone in, even if he wasn’t really sure what the plan was, but did anyone really know? 

Jonathan and Nancy had joined the group later and had discovered the scene, Steve’s arms circling under her knees and shoulders. Even if Jonathan had seen them holding hands as they arrived in Hawkins a few days prior, he could not stop thinking about how odd it was seeing them together. 

Nancy felt even more remorse over the entire situation, and over the fact that Jonathan had insinuated to abandon her when she was still alive and had a chance of surviving, even a small one, she felt like the worst friend ever. Jonathan recognised the mood change in her features and tried to hold her hand but she refused him, and with a glance he couldn’t recognise, she left ahead of him, catching up on the group, leaving him bereft.

Everyone followed Steve and Hopper as he walked straight for the living room, and lied her down to the closest couch, he didn’t really know what to do next, he wasn’t as skilled as her or Hopper, but he had watched her reanimate Eddie and tend to their wounds. 

Hopper saw the panic settled in in now knowing what to do and the what ifs, so he put a hand on his shoulder to get his attention, “There’s not much we can do, apart from cleaning the wound and until she wakes, her best shot is getting out of this place, kid.” 

He silently agreed, nodded, then proceeded to do as advised with the best they had while Hopper instructed the others to find rooms to rest in as he and Joyce would take the first watch. 

Everyone scattered away, Hopper settled on the stairs, his eyes on both the front door and the living room, silently watching Steve clean the wound in silence. They had managed to find antiseptic soap, it was the best he could do as he got rid of all the dried blood around the wound to discover the skin around to be quite stiff and the tiniest bit warmer. It wasn’t good and he hoped he was wrong by assuming it was getting infected. 

Every now and then he would steal a glance toward her face to search for any signs that she was waking up or uncomfortable, in pain. He understood how she was still alive, she was losing blood in such a slow and steady rhythm she still had chances to survive.. for now. 

He observed her stomach rising and falling as she breathed, kneeled on the ground next to her, Hopper recognised that devotion, he sincerely hoped they would find a way quickly enough to get them both, as far as he knew, they deserved to get out and get their lives back far away from Hawkins, in them he saw younger Joyce and himself, back in high-school, flirting in the corridors, before he left for Vietnam.

Steve lowered his head, he hadn’t expected to be crying, the tears falling freely and soundlessly, the fear of losing her setting so deeply in his bones like never before, he couldn’t resist it, nor stop it.

His hands held on hers’ tightly, intertwined their fingers. 

He brought the back of her hand to his lips, chaste pecks on her skin, closed eyes, tears getting caught on her knuckles. “You can’t leave me, please, please, wake up. I don’t know what I’m gonna do if you don’t.” 

Her name fell from his lips like a plea, like a prayer. His whispers were so low he was barely able to listen to himself. He kept pleading silently until he had no tears left to cry, under Hopper’s very discreet eyes. 

He keeped one of her hands as he used his backpacks like a pillow, their intertwined hand close to him as he fell asleep out of complete exhaustion, into pure darkness. 

A detail none has seen yet due to the important lack of light and the general sense of panic and survival, is that through her shut tight eyelids, one should be able to see her eyes flutter endlessly under the lids, the same way Max had when Vecna was infiltrating her mind. 

She opened her eyes and she was surrounded by complete darkness, alone, so soundless it felt deeply unsettling. She looked around, it was just darkness beyond sight, not a sound, only some light where she stood and it seemed to follow her, she didn’t understand. 

Expecting pain as she walked but she didn’t feel any, so she looked down at her body, to her surprise, she looked as if she hadn’t gone through literal Hell. Not even a hint of blood, or inflamed and tugging skin around the bruises and wounds, she didn’t have the small piece of wood impaled in her abdomen, her clothes were intact, clean.

Her long sleeve shirt was in one piece, as if she didn’t have a thousand cuts all over her body from the running, falling and trying to survive to monsters. It didn’t match real life, so she wondered, quietly but in confusion, 

“Am I dead? Is this.. Is this what death looks like?” 

Thinking of death, “Eddie? Are you there?” 

She was answered with silence, only her own voice and its echo fading through the darkness. 

“I don’t understand. I’m not supposed to be stuck here, am I? What’s this?,” She thought out loud, and as she realised that she may be stuck here with no way out for eternity, she felt her heartbeat moving higher against her thorax, her hands turned into fists.

The panic in her body turned a dial up as she heard footsteps coming towards her, and turning around, she was met with eyes the same colour as hers’. 

Goosebumps travelled along her body as her eyes and brows widened in shock, she was stuck in her movements, paralysed like. 

The body moving to her had gotten closer, facing her completely, she looked at her own reflection, same height, same hair texture and colour, body type, clothes, except, her look alike had the appearance of someone who tried to survive the Upside Down for a couple of days.

Her hair was unravelled, some strands stuck in dirt and clumps of blood, her skin and clothes underwent the struggles of her misadventure, cuts through her legs, torso, arms and face. The small piece of wood or whatever it was, impaled in the low side of her abdomen, she couldn’t see them, but she knew where the bruises were and how tensed and pained her skin around those wounds were. This was—is— her. 

She stood in front of her reflection, but it wasn’t motionless, she had walked, she was blinking, looking at herself, a smirk pulling on her lips.

Minutes passed as she needed to compose herself, she wanted to flee so badly but she knew she couldn’t even though she didn’t understand what was happening. 

In one desperate move she looked down at her hands, the bottom of her jeans, it was then that she saw her misadventure in the Upside Down on herself, the cuts, on the skin, through the clothes, the aches in her body from all the running, the bruises, the pain came back like she was struck by lightning and when she looked up, her alter ego had disappeared, she was alone. 

Her muscles suddenly ached, she felt everything just like when she was kneeled next to Eddie.. Her body is screaming so loudly that everything just hurts and it’s insufferable. 

She was in complete solitude, tiniest bit of light around her whenever she moved, with nothing but a disturbing silence as a companion, and the longest corridor filled with darkness.

Steve was shaken awake by a strong pair of arms, accompanied by Hopper’s voice to summon him awake, he didn’t understand anything at first, his mind so groggy he felt like he was drunk, then, what Hopper told him jolted him awake, “She’s awake, kid.” 

He immediately sat up and turned to her, inspecting her in anticipation. She remained lying down on the couch he had put her in, blinking away her confusion, he was eager, desperate, to hear from her, he squeezed the hand intertwined with hers’, it got her attention and she turned her head to him, a frown appearing on her brows. 

Submerged by two existing identities —hers’ and the Mind Flayer— she struggled to recognise the place and the people surrounding her, and Steve seemed to understand it as the confusion didn’t part from her face, looking at the three faces in front of her, Hopper, Joyce and Steve’s. 

The two adults didn’t know her enough to know that it was unusual, maybe she had fallen on her head multiple times and she was concussed, or the multiple injuries plus the emotional struggle of it all could lead to some kind of amnesia but Steve knew better, or, suspected better, he chose to put it aside and not bring it up now. 

She asked where she was, what was happening, she didn’t seem to remember anything it’s only when Steve recalled the weeks past events’ she seemed to remember some, then it clicked for Joyce, this kind of amnesia, the hesitancy, the stress in remembering past and present events, she knows it well because she’s seen it in Will back at the lab, when the Mind Flayer launched an attack, using him as a spy. 

The similarities were so strong, it felt like déjà-vu. 

From the deepest corners in her mind that the Mind Flayer has infiltrated she had access to everything the creature wanted her to see and know, instructing her with one task, but she didn’t know what it was. 

It felt like going into a room without knowing why she came there. 

Sat side by side on the sofa, Steve couldn’t stop keeping his eyes on her. He knew something was off, it didn’t feel like she was there, like she was distracted, evasive, it didn’t feel like her. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Joyce taking Hopper by the elbow to pull him aside, whispering things, he glanced towards them and he knew instantly they were talking about her. 

Hopper looked away as soon as he saw Steve catching him, frowning. 

He was about to stand up and join them when she sighed loudly, one glance back towards her and he saw her hands entangled deep in her scalp in frustration, almost pulling at the root, her back completely resting against the sofa, her eyes set on the ceiling covered in vines. 

Steve’s voice pulled her out of the spinning wheels turning in her brain, as she let go of the tangles in her hair, his hand met in the middle and caught hers, intertwining their fingers together, his eyes widened the moment he touched her skin and realised she was cold.

He brought himself closer and took both her hands in his, his thumbs ran around her wrists, “Do you feel cold ?”

Her brows frowned furthermore, there was some kind of latence in her answer as she didn’t really know if she felt cold or not, “No, I— I feel..,” she paused, her throat was sore from all the screaming and shouting she had done. 

Trying to clear her throat, she continued, her voice weakened and a bit hoarse, ”I don’t feel cold or hot, I feel so.. eerie. Like I’m not even here. Like I’m.. dying on the inside.”  

Steve closed his eyes for a few seconds as he tried to process what she was saying, his suspicious were rising alarmingly high, but when he opened his eyes he saw she had her turned her head towards the windows, following her gaze, he saw the Mind Flayer stood at the complete opposite side of town, far away, but he kept looking back and forth between her and noticed that its’ head had moved towards them. 

Goosebumps and chills rose along his body, his gaze focused solely on her, one final glance to the creature when he saw its’ head moving back to the position it had, overlooking the city, then one glance at her, she had such a passive expression in her eyes that he couldn’t recognise. 

Almost in sync, as she closed her eyes the most intense, piercing guttural shriek echoed in town, eyes revulsed behind her eyelids, Steve began panicking, shaking her arms, strong grip on her shoulders, her body was stoic, and he had flashbacks of Max and Nancy going through the same episode. 

Talking loudly than he thought, he shouted her name, getting even closer, practically straddling her as her head fell back, and with two firm hands he held her cheeks and tried to get her to wake, with no success. 

With the monstrous shriek and Steve practically shouting her name, it had woken up everyone sleeping and brought Hopper and Joyce as soon as they noticed Steve moving on the couch. Everyone’s attention filled the room with so much noise it nourished the stress and panic deep beneath him, soonly the excruciating noise in the room was quieted down by more guttural shrieks coming from outside. 

The movement of panic grew stronger and finally, someone thought aloud that their best choice was to leave now or all their chances of surviving would be close to none —which was already the case. 

That made Steve’s muscles tense, he finished letting her head fall gently on the cushion, he turned around, his eyes darkened and his face looked so tense that no one knew what to expect.

Nancy hadn’t expected Jonathan to propose such a thing, her head turned to him, shock evident on her face. 

Steve wasn’t so surprised, “Again with the leaving people behind? People that aren’t close enough to you, that is. Please go, be the first to be eaten, pulled apart, whatever they do with you, I don’t give a fuck.” 

“No, no one’s going anywhere, you listen to me? No one’s leaving anyone behind,” Hopper’s voice tried to be stern but everyone’s patience was running low, it allowed more recklessness too. 

“So what, we’re supposed to stay here and wait until she wakes up when we know that we are going to be dead staying here, I’m supposed to wait for her when I know that the more we wait, the more we are targets!”

“Jonathan, she deserves the same chances as us to survive, we’re not leaving her behind, this is insane.”

“Nancy, this is life or death, the choice is pretty simple, we’ve already lost so much time, we can’t allow ourselves to lose more.”

“I know this is life or death, should I remind you we’ve all been through this for years, I know that you’re scared, I am too, but punishing her when she could survive too is just not okay! She got involved merely a week ago when she was pulled in by a Demobat. She survived on her own here without knowing anything and she found us when we got stuck too. She could have left then but she stayed and she fought Vecna with us, almost dying countless times, she’s helped Max and she fucking brough back Eddie the first time around, she’s not getting anywhere without us! I owe it to her to not leave her behind like I did for Barb!” 

She could only listen to what was happening around her, it gave her a bitter sensation in the back of her throat, but experiencing such.. vulnerability and inaccessibility in her own body and not having full control, it was insanely uncomfortable and maddening.

Forcibly stoic, unable to move, she couldn’t do anything but listening to everything that happened, in the blink of an eye, she found herself to be plunged in complete darkness, then, after a few seconds, she heard footsteps, the lights above her started flickering and she realised she wasn't in complete darkness anymore. 

She found herself to be in some corridor, evidence of a previous fight on the bloodied walls and the cracked tiles. She turned her body to the sounds coming from a man walking towards her, his pace confident, arms behind his back, dirty blond hair and entirely dressed as someone that came out of an asylum or some lab. She didn't know who it was, but she had a strong suspicion about his identity.

She was too shocked and frightened to form a sentence, the man resembled nothing like the descriptions she’s had from her friends. 

The light above kept flickering which allowed their surroundings to move to a darker but lengthier space, darker tiles on the walls and on the ground, with turned off lights on a spherical shape on a corner, but she focused on him, straightening her body and planting her feet in the ground. 

It indicated to him she knew how he was, she was on the defensive, which didn't matter that much as he was already infiltrating her mind. 

“If you don't wake up, you and your friends will die,” his voice wasn't at all like she expected, it was soft, it didn't hold any roughness or threats, it warned her though.

Frowning, she didn't understand the situation, she struggled to form words, so he continued, “The clock is ticking.” 

His head moved slightly, he looked at her up and down, his chin down to analyse her posture and a weakness point, then chin up, he tightened his arms behind his back, focusing on the task at hand, his only chance.

She noticed and followed his gaze, body still planted on the ground, hands curled in fists, being studied so closely confused her at first, for someone who had thought of every possible outcome, who had thought of his plan to invade Hawkins, he seemed rather clueless. Making up his plan as it went on. 

“I understand your suspicion, but I could help you.” 

One of her eyebrows raised in surprise, but she kept her mouth shut, having not a clue what she was doing but still resisting, however she could.

He started moving towards her, only to pace in circles around her, slowly, he stopped behind her, an arm’s length from her, he paused for quite some time, which almost made her turn around, “I do not understand.”

His voice has gotten harsher, his patience has worn down, “You think you can resist me, or him?” 

Confusion struck her, what the hell did he mean by him? What was this? Who was he referring to as him?

He completed his circle and arrived by her eye level, their eyes connected, she could read determination on him, the wheels spinning behind those blue eyes, “He won't be as merciful, your only way out is with me.” 

She kept her eyes fixed on him, she could read so much on him now that she had struck a nerve being silent and resisting, which allowed her to make a wild guess, “You're on your own.” 

He tried to not let his surprise show but the frown that appeared on his face could not be missed, “Only people that are left mending for themselves can be so desperate and reckless. He abandoned you, and you’re on your own, Henry,” she paused, watching his face go through so many emotions. 

It clicked then, the Mind Flayer was he, she continued, taking a step closer, “He’s given up on you, and you're left mending for yourself. If you wanted to kill me you already would have done so. So what's your purpose in this?” 

He tilted his head, the frown he wore indicated to her that she was correct, and he wasn't just impatient now, but mad as hell to have been figured out.

“I spared you–”

“No, you can't kill me, you’ve resorted to gaslighting and tormenting. Why?” 

The façade slowly started melting off as he grew angrier, the white outfit swapped for his disfigured rotting body, his voice distorted, their surroundings changed to a field of floating parts of a destroyed house, red mist swallowing the ground.

Moving forward, new parts of his body were revealed, newly burned off parts, gaping holes in his chest, how he was still alive was profoundly shocking to her, “You're hiding,” only a whisper that escaped her lips as she studied their surroundings, “..and hurting.. you're..—” 

He tilted his head, and she switched her attention on his face closer to her, his eyes were the deepest shade of blue, like the deepest regions of an ocean, where the light can barely escape, and darkness only reigns.

“You're dying, and you're left mending for yourself,” she paused, she was more thinking out loud, stretching out her thinking, she had no idea where all this courage came from to reveal his truth, where all that clairvoyance came from, “So, you're stalling.” 

Out in the open, he couldn't fathom how she had understood, “You're left so weak you can't even kill me. Why would you stall if he’s abandoned you?” 

He wasn't as defenceless as she thought him to be, with a grunt she saw his eyes close, and unexpectedly complete darkness surrounded her, she couldn't see anything, as if she were blind. 

She felt deeply uneasy the more she stayed in complete darkness, wishing she had shut her mouth. If he was going to kill her, she hoped it would be quick.

The tension kept rising within the group and Hopper ended the argument by agreeing to split up, even though it killed him because he hated that idea.

Given the alarming number of roaming creatures outside and some questionable sounds coming from them— the fact that they couldn't recognise what those creatures were, sent shivers down their spine, it completely terrorised them, it could only mean that something new was outside— they decided to split up. 

The thing is, the groups were heavily uneven, only Nancy chose to stay with Steve, Joyce was staying with Hopper, Will and El stayed with their parents, Mike followed El, and Dustin was too vulnerable on his own with the crutches to stay in a much smaller group.

Steve retreated back to her, sitting on the cushion sideways to her, he grabbed her hand, hoping it would help him calm down his anger. 

He completely ignored the sounds of them getting their equipment and Hopper calling Nancy to share some with her, more ammunition, pocket knives, lighters, and tiny bottles of liquor.

She watched them leave, guns and makeshift weapons in hands, Dustin in the middle of them to assure his safety, until they were completely out of her eyesight, then her head turned to Steve, his back to her.

Nancy feared his mood wouldn't help them develop a plan to get out, but they needed to elaborate one, quickly, so, trying to ignore the worrisome shrieks from outside, she cautiously stepped towards Steve.

She sat on the ground, facing him, her head levelling with Steve’s lover, quietly observing her face, how her eyes kept moving back and forth, witnessing she was somewhere they couldn't join. 

“She’s getting colder, I don't know what to do to rid her of him,” Steve let out quietly, like a secret he could finally let out.

Nancy’s head turned to him, frowning.

“I didn't want to bring it up because I didn't know how everyone would react to it, probably the same as what happened, but–,” he paused, a brief glance towards her, not yet sure if he could say it, but what would she do? Throw a tantrum? Too late for that.

“I’m almost sure she’s.. The Mind Flayer has her, the same way he had with Will. She was awake before we all heard that terrific sound, she felt.. off, like she wasn't with us, she didn't feel how cold she is, and it may be in my head but, I feel like she’s colder.” 

She nodded, and immediately her brain thought of a way to make it out, wheels spinning on end, until Steve’s voice broke it all up, “To be honest, I’m aware I’ve doomed us all, I didn't think anyone would support me, I — I thought I would.. die alongside her.” 

Shock blew on her face, her eyes moved to his face, his head low, searching for his eyes she tilted her head to the side, “Steve..” 

Deep in his eyes was sadness, and desperation, nothing she would have expected from him, she was stunted, shocked. His eyes trailed back to her, his thumb mindlessly caressed her cold skin. 

It gave Nancy more determination to give her best to elaborate the best plan possible.. in Hell.

Their plan was quite simple, Steve would carry her and Nancy would go first, gun in hand, and they would travel small location to small location, not more than a block away to make sure they could attempt to hear or see their enemies, try to, at least. 

Nancy made sure she had enough ammunition in the pockets of her jacket, along with a pocketknife, she gave one to Steve and hid one in the upper pocket of her jeans.

Out of curiosity, and because she hadn’t dared to previously, Nancy held her hands and realised how cold she was, she also realised she had never properly inspected her injuries, she hadn't acknowledged what had happened to her.

She could see the multiple cuts through the materials of her long sleeve shirt and her jeans, but the worst injury was the one on her abdomen, she hadn't realised it was that bad, of course she had seen but.. she hadn't paid attention given everything that happened.

She pulled up the shirt, she let out a gasp when she saw the rawness of her injury and Steve cleaned it the best he could, the skin around was inflamed, swollen, and mostly fresh blood around the piece of wood impaled, but it kept the blood loss controlled.

One thing she wasn't sure though, were the jet black veins exiting the wound, calmly she called for Steve, who had been in the kitchen looking for more supplies. He was about to ask but he saw, and the answer to his doubts were there, she was taken by the Mind Flayer, it resembled everything they had seen in Will, another shriek echoed through the city.

“We have to hurry,” Steve briefly whispered and hurried himself to put on his jacket, his backpack followed, Nancy copied him, taking off the security on her gun, she opened the door as silently as she could, stepping carefully outside.

One hand holding a flashlight, the other hand holding her gun, she stepped cautiously through the porch as Steve held her, one arm wrapped under her knees, the other under her waist. He followed her carefully, arriving first to the store they had scavenged, a ten minute break later —inspecting their surroundings and planning as soundlessly as they could.

They continued like this without any encounters, house after house after house until they heard human screams and more guttural shrieks.

It wasn't just human screams, pained screams and warnings to run off. Nancy recognised Jonathan’s voice in the lot, paralysed on the spot she was caught between helping them or staying with Steve. She turned to him, and he knew immediately what she was about to do, he didn't even wait for her to speak, he walked towards the nearest house to hide.

He heard Nancy run off to where the screams came from, getting closer to the door he hoped to be able to touch the handle with her in his arms, but he didn't even have the time to, she started convulsing in his arms.

“No, no, no, no!,” not as silent as he hoped to be, but to be able to carry her inside he had to force his way in, not exactly subtle, but his only choice.

So he forced the door open with his leg and rushed inside, he hid upstairs, closed all the doors, because he knew that every creature around had heard him barge in and rush upstairs.

He tried his best to keep her on her side while she was convulsing, as silent as possible, he prayed to God they wouldn't be found, eyes closed, hands tightly holding her body, he hoped. 

When the darkness completely surrounded her, she knew something was coming but she hadn't expected to be tormented by sounds only in complete and utter nothingness.

He had pulled out everything that's been hurting her for her entire life, hearing it made the memories come back and reliving them was torture. He knew what he was doing. 

Her parents fighting from her earliest moments, trying to muffle the screams with her small hands, their tension always growing as years went on, music blaring loudly in her room to isolate herself from her family, hiding behind her books. 

The expectations and the bar her parents set so high up she couldn't reach. 

Then came the loneliness and difficulties she went through making friends, the jealousy, the people pleasing in fear of being left alone, how she’s been harming herself on all levels and coping in unhealthy ways.

Every voice that spat venom at her face resurfaced, making her try to scream above those voices to make it all stop. 

She heard Nancy screaming at her to stop pushing her about Barbara, why she had so suddenly stopped trying looking for her, spitting at her that she had made the choice to be alone when Nancy had tried befriending her so it gave her no rights to be mad at her. Nancy had even gone so far as telling her that she deserved to be left alone.

Covering her ears with her hands wasn't working, she could still hear everything, she had retreated to her knees, her forehead and her arms touching the ground with her hands tightly put around her ears, she had completely turned into herself. 

Seconds turned into minutes, it went on with Steve, and the first fling before him. Both had hurt her in similar ways, and struck her self esteem lower than it already was. Hearing that boy say she was too much to handle, too needy, and nothing but a passable one night stand. Her first experience. Then Steve, how he had left her in her room, vacating her heart.

She hadn’t realised the tears that fell down, it’s when it had stopped that she noticed she was crying, she could still hear it, feel those words as if they were snakes crawling their way in under her skin.

She let out a breath of relief when she finally realised that silence surrounded her, the muscles in her arms aching, now all her body screamed for a chance to let go, that it’s had enough, and her mind agreed. 

She’s had enough.

She opened her eyes but her eyelids were heavy, when she looked around herself she didn't recognise where she was, her jeans and arms were wet from the grass and the mud, she was in the woods.

She completely sat down, turned her upper body around so she could take a glance at her surroundings, grass, trees, there was a form a few feet from her, but she could hardly see what it was, hidden behind the mist.

She got up, holding onto a tree next to her as her vision got blurry, she closed her eyes and tried to catch her breath, when she felt capable enough she walked towards the ambiguous form.

It was a handmade wooden castle, “Welcome all friends” and “Castle Byers” written on the front in yellow. She passed through the tarp, and a gasp left her mouth as soon as she saw him.

“So, this is where you're hiding,” a voice that resembled hers said, but it hadn't come from her own mouth, turning around she saw her alter ego leave as quickly as she came in. Turning inside the makeshift castle, she looked one last time at a very weakened, rotten and rotting body of Vecna, seemingly taking his very last breaths until the scenery floated away like a candle’s flame blown off.

Only the electrifying blue of his eyes seemed to be stuck a few moments later, until she was met with darkness and silence. Nothingness.

Steve waited, he waited for so long, her body had stopped convulsing just moments ago, he had left her when he was sure she was still breathing, ventured on the porch to see what was going on. He could hear from afar the screams of the creatures, but nothing from Nancy or the others.

Pocket knife in hand, he heard nothing that told him it wasn’t safe to go and he needed to get them away as fast as possible. So he tried his luck and went back inside to carry her downstairs, cautious on the steps, he put her down on the sofa and rushed to the windows in the hopes of finding Nancy walking back to them.

He did see and hear the occasional Demodog or Demobat roaming around, but nothing, he hesitated, could he risk it? Defenseless having to carry her, it would be suicide. 

Studying their neighbourhood, he hadn’t realised the noises that came from the couch, deep in his thoughts.

Until he heard her whisper his name, he rushed to her side, she was blinking away her confusion, he pulled up her shirt to look at the wound and the black veins were still there, they had retreated back though. Hope warmed his body.

He was about to rapidly explain to her what had gone and what they needed to do, but a violent shake broke through the earth, followed by the sound of something exploding.

Just a turn towards the sound and through the windows they saw bombs exploding, falling down like rain.

He rushed her up, with a strong grip around her waist he ran off outside through the back door that led to the edge of the woods.

Together they sprinted off away, successful to avoid any bombs, he heard some creatures following them but they were killed off easily as the hive mind worked its way until he brutally realised that she was part of it too as she fell unconscious on the ground.

Until the very end he would stay with her.

He doesn't realise when he falls unconscious too, he only knows that he’s an arm’s length from her.. as long as he dies alongside her..

There was nothing around her, not a sound, not a weird looking doppelganger, not Vecna to torment her.

Just, back at the starting point, with nothingness and an uncomfortable silence surrounding her. 

Her arms closed off, tight around her body to try and warm herself a bit, she kept walking around nothingness. 

She wondered if she was going to be stuck in there forever, does she want to go back to Steve? Does she want to go back at all? She truly didn’t know, she didn’t know if she had the choice, but if she had it, would she return back to Hawkins? 

She didn’t have time to ponder the question really, because she joined the darkness within, and shortly after, she was back in her unconscious body, lying on the ground, fire spreading as the US army was gaining ground in the Upside Down, with it, the bombing kept going, as it’s the only weapon they possessed that would work. 

Eradicate it all with fire— were the final words left from Dr Owens’s lips as he too, joined nothingness after being tortured for what felt like eternity, he had given nothing, not a single thing about Eleven or anything that he knew, except how to kill it. 

Bodies defenceless, they could only hope they would either survive together or die together.