#and they just lived out their days together building a life in platonic companionship

[heyitsrink]

Fitz x Celerity queerplatonic ship, anyone?

[our-aroace-experience]

My mom is approaching 70 and is in what I can only describe as a Queer Platonic Relationship. My whole life my mom has been ambivalent about romance, and I suspect that if she were young today she’d describe herself as aro. She and my dad were happily married before he passed away, but even so, I don’t really have memories of them being over romantic. Their friends and and family didn’t believe them at first when they announced their marriage (when she was 36!) bc they “didn’t act like a couple”. They worked well as partners and both wanted kids, but there was always something different about their relationship compared to the relationships of my friends’ parents. Since my dad’s death she has shown zero interest in getting remarried and has been happily single for more than a decade.

My mom has an incredibly full life. She’s got lots of friends of all ages, fulfilling hobbies, and a shitty little dog that she loves to pieces. I never worry about her being bored and lonely.

She has this neighbor in her apartment building. They help each other out the way couples do with tasks like grocery shopping, attending family events together, and they co parent the shitty little dog, but she swears up and down that there’s nothing romantic between them. They help each other with medication, hospital visits, and navigating the scary changes of getting old together. She and my grandpa used to argue about her getting remarried to this neighbor bc he didn’t want her to be “lonely”. My mom insisted that she’s not lonely and the relationship was not romantic. There’s love and companionship, but it’s “not like that”.

Back when I started to show interest in dating as a teen my mom was so confused. “You actually want to go on dates? My mom used to force me to date and I hated it.” When I came out as gay as an adult she was like “That’s cool. I still don’t get why you wanna date people.”

My dad once told me a story about how early in their marriage, my mom once accidentally “dated” a different man without realizing that he was taking her out on dates. From her perspective she just was having fun outings with a friend. When the guy “came clean” and told my dad “I’m dating your wife” he just laughed because my mom had been excitedly telling him all about their “dates”. She missed every single clue that this guy had been laying down for her that he was interested. “He invited me to have breakfast on his boat! I’m so excited for the birdwatching that time of day!” (My mom also might be a little autistic but that’s neither here nor there). She just is not a romantically inclined thinker.

I love my mom very much and I’m so lucky to have her as a role model. She’s taught me that happiness is extremely versatile. You don’t have to follow a traditional set route for a complete life with meaningful relationships. Romance is a social construct as much as anything, and you are free to engage with it on your own terms. Don’t be afraid to live and love the way you want to. Your life will be fuller and happier for it.

I’m so happy you’ve had a positive experience, and your mum sounds lovely!

[thestorytellersapprentice]

Why Do-yeok

I cannot believe I'm writing another one of this "Why" post. I thought it's a one-time thing with Love Alarm... But, here I am. Maybe because just like the previously mentioned Netflix series, Nevertheless causes huge discourse among its viewers. Team Potato and Team Butterfly. Jae-eon and Do-hyeok. Sanctuary or the gravitational pull.

And first off, an important note: my intention by writing this is not to seek any debate with anyone. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions, so here's mine. Feel free to read it or definitely not to read it if you're firmly on Jae-eon's corner and you can't imagine Na-bi with anyone else but him. I just want to sort out my thoughts simultaneously through writing this. And this is gonna be a bit long, I suppose.

So, as the title already declares, I'm Team Potato all the way. And, yep, this means I'm thoroughly on Do-hyeok's side and I want him to be happy because he deserves it. (Still need to see what's in store in the final episode, but I'm perfectly okay with an open ending: Na-bi ends up not choosing anyone but herself, as long as her friendship with Do-hyeok remains intact.)

And this comes down simply because of who Yang Do-hyeok is as a person.

If Do-hyeok is real, then you can bet that I'll date him myself too. At the very least, I'd definitely like to be friends with him.

Why?

Because....

One. His whole vibe is just so....warm and comfortable. We often see Do-hyeok's cheerful sides. He smiles a lot (and boy, Chae Jong-hyeop's smiles are just so endearing, but we're talking about the character here. Ahem.) He's attentive, thoughtful, and open. And he's not only like this with Na-bi. He, by nature, is a very friendly person, as you can see from his interaction with Do-yeon, his cousin, also with Na-bi's friends and the hyeongs in the noodle restaurant that he works at.

And I like it a lot that even just after Do-hyeok confesses to Na-bi and she turns him down, the very next day, they're able to speak with each other normally and just talk about his videos and how she'll watch them and give him feedback. That night, Na-bi also answers his call with a smile on her face. They joke around and not even stopping after Do-hyeok throws her some arguably-cringey-lines (if uttered by other guys and not handled properly). Clearly, Na-bi's very on ease and comfortable with and around him despite everything that has happened.

She even says this on her own: "And most of all, I feel comfortable when I'm with him."

Two. With Do-hyeok, the communication is sterling. Honesty and communication is also very important in a healthy relationship. Your partner isn't a mind reader, so you gotta tell her/him what you feel and think about, especially when you're having a hard time, so you both can work on it together. And our potato guy is the perfect example of openness and honesty.

Even when he's having a hard time, he doesn't lash out (unlike a certain someone), but he communicates it clearly to Na-bi: "I saw you and Park Jae-eon going into your house together. I know I said that I could wait for you as long as it takes. But I felt so jealous."

Do-hyeok also casually throwing lines like: "It's nice to hear your voice. The whole neighborhood seems empty without you." which can be really cringey, but hearing these with Chae Jong-hyeop's delivery = it's just Do-hyeok openly sharing his thoughts. And, again, he's not just like this with Na-bi. That's just the way he is. He openly states his concerns and thoughts to people close to him.

After her first disaster relationship and Jae-eon (who's a master deflector on all personal questions and is truly opaque), IMO someone like Do-hyeok is what Na-bi needs. With Do-hyeok, she never has to guess where she stands. And Na-bi responds to his openness accordingly. She shares her worries and not-so-good moments ("I was spacing out because the critique went badly. I got scolded. This semester is really the worst. I didn't get accepted to the exchange program as well.") And of course, Do-hyeok responds by reassuring and encouraging her.

Three. They begin as friends. Childhood friends, even. And while some may point out that she friend-zones him, I beg to differ. The expression on Na-bi's face when she first sees Do-yeon and hasn't recognizes her is not the expression of someone who sees her just-platonic-friend conversing with a girl. You can practically see the gears in her head turning and she suddenly looks unsure: "Who is that girl talking to Do-hyeok?"

But anyway, iIluminatedquill has written here and here what I want to say and more, so I won't add any more here, other than this: it's my own personal preference as well. I'm just more drawn to romantic relationships which also evolve from friendship. I feel that lust will only get you so far, and the companionship aspect is what makes it long-lasting. (Even in my personal life, my boyfriend is not only my boyfie, he's my friend and partner in crime also.)

Four. Do-hyeok has good and normal relationships with his family. He obviously has good relationship with his Grandpa (judging from the way he's reviving his Grandpa's noodle place until his Grandpa feels better) and is close with his cousin, Do-yeon. While this is based on what's been shown and even though we never see or hear about his parents, I think it's safe to say that Do-hyeok most probably grows up in a loving family and he carries their values with him as he approaches his relationships with people as an adult.

Again, this is mostly personal preference, but as someone who highly value family, for me this is another point for Do-hyeok. I'm not saying that someone with dysfunctional family cannot form loving relationships, but it's what one aspires for.

Do-hyeok cares for people. He takes care of them (e.g. voicing concerns over Do-yeon's plastered hand, preparing umbrella and coffee for Na-bi, etc etc). And, sadly, Jae-eon's distant family background just makes him even more detached and non-committal towards people.

As for Na-bi, she wants to learn from her mother and not following in her footsteps. "I promise myself I would never date while watching my mom." It's heavily implied (and is practically confirmed by her aunt) that her mother dates around as well, and from the one scene we're shown during her birthday weekend, she always feels like her mother neglects her and she's upset about it. So, yeah, Na-bi wants to live differently, and it's clear who's a natural at it already.

Five. I can see them growing together. Yeah, Na-bi's mostly the one who needs to sort out her life, but she also can be a good influence to Do-hyeok. She gives him feedback on his videos (as an example) and he builds upon that.

From Na-bi herself: "I don't want to ever disappoint Do-hyeok." She sees him as such a good guy and always receives things from him. I interpret her line here as her desire to improve herself, to be better. And that's how a good relationship should be, right? It brings out the best out of each other.

That's it from me for now.

I guess some of the points up there can be different priorities for different people, and that's okay. As I've said at the beginning of this post, this is all mine, so feel free to disagree.

To me, Jae-eon is like this very strong gravitational pull: he's sexy, mysterious and very alluring, yet he displays oh-so-many red flags. It's all such a rollercoaster ride with him: very fun and thrilling, yet can also cause you extreme dread.

While Do-hyeok is like a sanctuary. He represents safety, stability and ease. With him, it's like strolling on a park somewhere under the sunshine: things feel warm, pleasant, and cozy.

Na-bi probably still feels the gravitational force of Jae-eon. It's hard to shake off completely on such a short span of time, but I hope she remembers that just like her namesake, she always have her own strength to fly and defy gravity.

[highfaelucien]

I really enjoy your idea of friendship mates being a thing, especially for mor/az, because it would eliminate more of the toxic masculinity and possessiveness sjm tries to spin as romance and replace it with something else that isn’t explored much. Especially since the inner court is supposed to be a found family, it would tie in nicely to include deeper friendships among them.

I might explore it/write it anyway, tbh. Because Mor and Az deserve to have the connection and the understanding and the obvious love they had for each other in ACOMAF again.

I re-read some of their scenes the other day, and while I'm sure they were building up to a romantic relationship (bc that's what sjm do/The Ultimate Relationships Always Ever) they spoke of such a quiet, familiar intimacy:

Mor waiting for him/being there for his return from every single mission. Knowing he needs someone to greet him as Azriel, before he has to go to Rhys as spymaster.

Mor having the stubbornness to wear down his "infinite patience" to get him to open up, and talk about his feelings. Her being literally the only person he'll do that with.

Az being there for Mor in the Court of Nightmares, by her side, utterly willing to have everyone there know that he's hers for her comfort.

Interrupting Cassian to stop him saying too much.

Keeping eyes on each other when they get upset/overwhelmed by a situation or topic of conversation.

Az going dancing with Mor at Rita's whenever she asks - a victory for them both.

Mor knowing Azriel is in love with her but not pushing him to confront it. Not rushing him. Az acknowledging how much the inner circle means to both of them, how terrified she is to threaten that dynamic again, and refusing to ask her to do it.

This intimate, mutual stasis in their relationship, both longing for more, but being too respectful and understanding of the other to ever push them. And so they maintain.

And that didn't have to be fucking romantic. It could have been platonic. She didn't have to completely eradicate one of the most nuanced, subtle, and beautiful dynamics in the series just because she decided to make Mor a tormented lesbian.

And I will never, ever, EVER fucking forgive her for using 'I don't/can't love Azriel' as the method of her coming out.

Her voice broke as she said, “I don’t love Azriel.”

I remained perfectly still. Listening.

“No, that’s not true, either. I—I do love him. As my family. And sometimes I wonder if it can be … more, but … I do not love him. Not the way he—he feels for me.”

The big "dramatic reveal" shocking plot twist bit of dialogue here is "I don't love Azriel". And then she tries to backtrack/make that sound less bad, and 'I do love him as my family' but 'I do not love him the way he loves me.'

It's just. The whole thing is steeped in 'romantic love is the most valid/powerful kind of love and everything else is secondary'.

As if she and Azriel don't have as deep a connection, as strong a bond, as intense a relationship as Feyre and Rhys do just because they're romantically connected? As if 500 fucking years of devotion and adoration and connection and companionship isn't worth shit compared to 'what Az feels for her'. As if Azriel loves her more than she loves him becahse he wants to bone her and she doesn't want to bone him.

It's fucking infuriating. And it's fucking insulting as well.

The implication that ace people can't love their partners as much because they don't want sex.

The implication that aro people can never form meaningful bonds/love anyone as deeply as people in romantic relationships.

I call fucking bullshit. It's an absolute fucking disgrace and I'm still mad about it multiple years later.

And in ACOMAF she set up the idea of mates as like soulmates? You know. Two people who can understand each other and see each other and connect with each other more deeply than anyone else.

But then she had to introduce ~drama~ into into elucien and oh maybe they won’t get together. And then ACOWAR Rhys is coming out with ‘maybe the bond is just for who’ll make the nicest babies’ and I wanted to commit BLOODY MURDER.

So ace people can’t have bonds because they don’t want to bone?? Aro people can’t have bonds because it’s just for loving and having kids (which you know sjm only considers valid if it’s done by two people In Love/a typical nuclear family option). Gay people? Trans people?? Infertile straight people??? None of you or your bonds are valid because it’s just for making babies.

GO FUCK OFF.

Moriel as mates even after the utter DISASTER of Mor’s sexuality reveal is quite literally the only way to fix this fucking mess.

Saying ‘you don’t want to be in my bed, but you do want to share my life, you love me, and you understand me in a way no one else ever has. And that has always been enough for me. And it always will be. Because you’re my mate, and we’re bonded, and we’ll be there for each other whatever.’

And then they’re happy queer platonic people who live together and love each other but also have other partners, sometimes long-term, sometimes short-term, and they’re poly and happy and we expand the idea of mates beyond ‘we want to fuck non stop and we’ll eat you if you so much as look at our partner’ because I’m TIIIIIIIRREEEED and this could be so much MORE. It could be so deep. It could be so nuanced. It-

WAIT. I’VEJUST HAD A RANTING REVELATION.

I want ACOTAR mates to function exactly the same as the drift compatible concept in Pacific Rim. People who can just fucking vibe so hard their souls merge and they can control giant robots together.

And the grumpy TL;DR of this post is: if you don't think Mor and Az are drift compatible you can remove yourself from my blog for being BASIC AND WRONG.

That concludes today’s ‘how SJM fucked us all’ rant.

[fortheloveoffanfic]

Keanu Reeves/Characters Masterlist

Keanu Reeves

Latte- Keanu Reeves meets Y/n, a popular author in a crowded coffee shop, after an awkward introduction and a bit of fangirling, the two hit it of.

Sucker- Whoever said love had a timeline was sorely wrong because after just a few months, Keanu has decided that the reader is he one for him and knows exactly what he wants to do about it.

Better Part 1- Keanu and the reader are working together on the third installment of the John Wick franchise and while they seem to just be friends, one (or maybe both) of them wishes that things could be different. And if feelings weren’t enough, things get more complicated when Y/n’s problematic ex gets in the way

Part 2- After the events of part one, Keanu and Y/n are barely on speaking terms, though after the intervention of a friend and a heated situation, Y/n realizes what’s best for her.

Good Enough- After a messy, troublesome past, Y/n is finally ready to settle down with the man of her dreams. However, when other opinions are voiced, Y/n realizes that she might not be what’s best for Hollywood's sweetheart; Keanu Reeves. In an emotionally driven haste, she makes a decision that will hurt them both but can Keanu convince her to do otherwise?  Warnings- Mentions of drug abuse.

Always Love You- The best relationships are meant to last, right? But what’s the point of making things last if two lover have grown to feel more like strangers. As Keanu sinks deeper into the despair of losing his love, they find that things don’t have to end there.

Dust to Dust- A songfic inspired by the Civil Wars’ song of the same name. At a party, two lonely people meet, building a friendship and something more that might make sure they weren’t ever lonely again.

Edge- After an encounter at a red light leads to Keanu meeting a fellow biker, a impromptu race ensues. 

Melody- Y/n, a gifted songwriter and singer has been in a relationship with Keanu Reeves for a while, however, being so shy, she’s actually never sang for him. That all changes on a warm afternoon spent by the pool.

Date Night- A date night spent at Keanu’s place turns into a night where a caring boyfriend takes care of his overworked girlfriend.

Ocean Eyes- Inspired by a Billie Eilish song of the same name. Y/n an Keanu, who became fast friends after meeting on spend a night in his trailer, finding that they see more in each other that platonic companionship.

Take Care of You- When the reader goes MIA, Keanu makes it his duty to take care of his girlfriend, even if she might not be able to admit she wants it. Warnings- Mentions of depression.

Festival- In the 1990′s Dogstar is playing at a popular music festival, when, right after their set, Keanu lays eyes on a spunky star who certainly knows how to steal the show.

Don’t Go- After her dream seemingly falls apart and Y/n loses her first role that actually meant something, the reader feels like her life is over. Ready to put an end to things once and for all, Keanu shows up and keeps her from doing something terrible. Warnings- Mentions of depression, attempted suicide. 

The Space Between- Inspired by “The Space Between” by the Dave Mathews Band and follows the downfall of a once great relationship. When the literal and emotional space between Y/n and Keanu becomes too much, they decide it’s best to go their separate ways, only to turn out missing each other more than either of them expected.

Routine- A day spent with Keanu turns out to be productive in a way that Y/n wasn’t expecting before she woke up. Warnings- connotations to SMUT

First Time- (Young!Keanu Reeves x Reader). When the reader is ready to experience her ‘first time’, Keanu, her boyfriend ensures that its a moment she'll never forget. Warnings- SMUT, losing virginity.

You -Part 1- (Young!Keanu Reeves x Reader). Keanu and Y/n have been friends for years. Follow the two through snippets of their lives, as they grow older and navigate their lives and their feelings for each other.

Part 2- Marry your best friend, they say, well that’s exactly what Keanu and Y/n did. See Keanu and Y/n grow older and experience the ups and downs of marriage and parenthood. 

Santa Baby- It was the night before Christmas and all through the house......two people were stirring things up. A surprise from Y/n to Keanu has the expected outcome. Warnings- SMUT/NSFW, established daddy kink/daddy dom, some bondage.

Hair Day- (Young! Keanu Reeves x Reader). Y/n helps Keanu cut his hair for speed, though distractions along the way ensue. Warnings- SMUT

I Hope You’re Happy Now Part 1- Four years after their break up, Y/n is happily engaged to someone else, though Keanu is still reeling from the way they left things. Consumed with regret, when they run into each other at a mutual friend’s party an awkward introduction ensues, things are left unsaid and meeting the new man in Y/n’s life might just be salt in the wound.

Part 2- Y/n’s fiancé notices changes since they saw Keanu at the party and later, a coffee date goes downhill when Keanu tries to fix what was long broken.

Part 3-  Tears and regrets fill the night following Keanu and Y/n’s coffee shop incident and when Eli comes home to find his fiancée in tears, he makes a discussion leads to something unexpected. Finally, a reconciliation is in order, though a little later than expected.

My Girl(s)- Keanu and Y/n spend a fun day at home with their daughter; Charlotte.

Mistakes and Regrets- Breaking up once seemed like the only option left for Keanu and Y/n, though after six months, they find that maybe it wasn’t.

Different- Y/n comes home to find that her boyfriend, Keanu, looks a little different, though is the change welcome, or is she going to need some time to adjust?

Moving Day- (Young! Keanu Reeves x Reader). Keanu and Y/n move in together and a surprise awaits her at the end of the day.

What Happens At The Oscars.....- Keanu and Y/n attend the Oscars. What happens when they steal away for a moment is better kept between the two. Warnings- SMUT/NSFW

The Inescapability of Falling For You- Keanu’s plan to tell one of his closest friends how he truly feels about her on Valentine's Day goes awry, though, all might not be lost.

Involved- Years after a heartbreaking split, Y/n and Keanu are no longer together, but, as much as it hurts them both, they continue to painfully wallow in each other’s lives. Warnings- SMUT/NSFW, Angst

After Party- Young!Bassist! Keanu Reeves meets Y/n after a Dogstar concert and the two partake in a steamy introduction. Warnings- SMUT/NSFW, Casual Sex

Family Matters More- While she is pregnant, Y/n’s uncle succumbs to cancer, and when, in fear, she confronts Keanu on smoking, things go awry. Can they fix things? Warnings- Angst, pregnancy. 

Christmas Without Snow- For the first tie in years, Y/n and Keanu will be spending her Christmas apart. That is, until she decides to change that.

Stepdaddy- Ever since they’ve met, Keanu has harbored an attraction for his girlfriend’s, daughter, Y/n. Much to his surprise, Y/n feels the same, but is far more willing to do what it takes and get exactly what she wants.   Warnings- NSFW/SMUT, semi-public sex, daddy kink, age gap (OFC/reader is over 18), infidelity. 

One More Weekend With You- From an Evermore inspired series. On the week of Christmas, Y/n and Keanu reconnect, years after their bittersweet breakup. Though, on the weekend of the holiday, a hopeful reconciliation may leave them right where they started. Warnings- Angst

Find Me In The Lost Love- From an Evermore inspired series. After the demise of their relationship, Keanu and Y/n wonder if there’s any hope of finding their way back to each other.  Warnings- Angst.

*No longer writing rpf

John Wick

Gone Part 1- John’s life has spiraled ever since Y/n has been gone. Her memory lingers everywhere, and on that night, John can’t seem to do anything but think of her.

Part 2- Maybe Y/n isn’t as cold as she thought she was. Maybe she loves John more than she’d like to admit. Maybe, she made the hugest mistake of her life by hurting him, and in turn, herself.

Part 3- A reunion in Italy might be the key to bringing two hurt people back together, but when things go wrong and someone’s too scared to face their own truth, it might be harder of these two assassins to figure out if they belong together. 

Devil Devil- At a ritzy party John and Y/n, one of the world most lethal couples strike and though their relationship isn’t as sweet (or as conventional) as others, they certainly have an incomparable bond.

Fragile- When jobs take John and Y/n to separate parts of the country, John finds himself worrying about Y/n, who subsequently finds herself on the receiving end of a lecture on safety.

Not You Part 1- A job gone sorely wrong leaves Y/n’s life hanging in the balance and John doing everything to save his wife. Flicking between flashbacks and the present day as John rushes to save her, though as he pulls into the hospital parking lot, he finds that it might be too late. 

Part 2- John is reunited with his comatose love, though, he receives some grim news. Meanwhile, trapped in her subconscious, Y/n tries to find a way back to her husband.

Bathtub Welcome- John comes home to find Y/n waiting for him in the bathtub and she shows him just how much he was missed. Warnings- SMUT/NSFW

At Twelve- Close friends; John and Y/n, spend New Year’s Eve together, though as the new year is ushered in, they find that they could be closer than they thought. 

Hurt- Y/n isn’t one to readily express her feelings, though when John shows up at the Continental parking lot a little worse for wear, they both find that she cares about him a lot more than she’d prefer to admit.

Closer- Loosely inspired by Nine Inch Nails’ Closer. After a messy job, John and Y/n’s feelings for each other takes the steamy turn that they've both been hoping for.  Warnings- NSFW/SMUT, connotations to d/s

Love; Lost 

Part 1- Y/n decides that her relationship with John has taken a turn for the worst. As she prepares to leave, John desperately tries to make her stay, tormented by a walk down memory lane, but his efforts are to no avail. Warnings- Angst

Part 2- Starting with a flashback on how they first met. Then, Y/n gets some surprising news and telling John doesn’t go the way either of them would have preferred it to. Warnings- Angst, pregnancy

Part 3- An accident reunites John with Y/n, but will it stick? Warnings- Angst, pregnancy Part 4- All isn’t as well as it seems and John finds a way to prove to Y/n that he is all in. Warnings- Angst, pregnancy

Part 5- Months later, John and Y/n are happy in their renewed bliss, though forces from John’s past threaten everything he’s worked to build with his love, can he save Y/n? Warnings- Angst, pregnancy, kidnapping, violence, brief mentions of childbirth.

Midnight Musing- Past Midnight, John’s tumultuous thoughts seem to be consuming him, though, a late night chat with his love might put things into perspective.  Warnings- Some Angst (happy ending)

Don’t Be Over Me- After John breaks up with her, Y/n wonders how John can go on like it never happened. Likewise, as John looks on from a far, all he can do is hope that Y/n isn’t as over him as she appears to be.  Warnings- Some Angst

New Love- John and Y/n are being intimate with each other for the first time since they’ve start dating. Though, when he lets the wrong name slip, John worries that it might jeopardize everything. Warnings- Angst (with a happy ending) 

Christmas Lights- Just days before Christmas, after their biggest fight yet, Y/n calls off their wedding. Though, John isn’t willing to toss in the towel yet and does what he should have all along, makes his way to Y/n for the holiday. Warnings- Angst (with a hopeful ending)

And in the end, it wasn’t you- From an Evermore inspired series. John and Y/n’s divorce dregs up painful feelings. Warnings- Angst.

Its Always Been You- John Wick x OFC. John and Cait break up over the holidays, two years later, their paths cross again and they realize that all they’ve ever wanted was a future with each other. Warnings- Angst

Same Auld Lang Syme- When John bumps into the one that got away on Christmas Eve, the meeting dregs up old feelings and regrets. Though if there’s still love between the two, it may be too late. Warnings- Angst

After She’s Gone- Requested. John Wick x OFC. John deals with the loss of someone he loves dearly, and finds out something that only makes the pain worse. Warnings- Angst, character death, mentions of murder, descriptions of grief.

The Fuzzy Socks- When Y/n gets hurt, her husband, John comes to her rescue. Warnings- Brief descriptions of injury

But Baby, I’m Better- John Wick x OFC. Evalyn Tarasov is Viggo’s wife, though, John’s had his eye on her for a while. When Viggo leaves on the weekend of their anniversary, John shows Evalyn that he’s much better than her husband. Warnings- Infidelity, SMUT/NSFW.

Secrets Well Kept- When John’s true profession comes to light in the worst of ways, Y/n isn’t sure if she can ever look at the man she loves the same again Warnings- Angst

Other Characters

Groupie- Shane Falco x Reader. Y/n pays a visit to the star quarterback after the team’s big win.

Indebted- Donaka Mark x Reader. When Y/n is kidnapped by Donaka, he proposes an interesting exchange in lieu of ransom. Warnings- SMUT/NSFW, kidnapping, dub-con, degrading language, mentions of vaginal fingering, mentions of masturbation, oral sex(male receiving), mouth f**king, rough sex

Series

Wonderwall Masterlist

The Arrangement Masterlist

Protective Service Masterlist (On hiatus)

This Christmas Masterlist

Heaven, Hell and You Masterlist (On hiatus)

Behind Closed Doors Masterlist (Discontinued)

Beholder (A Dark!John Wick AU) (No Masterlist Yet) 1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  11  12  13  14  15  16 Epilogue  playlist and summary

12 Days of Christmas Writing Event Masterlist

The Hotel (A supernatural au) Masterlist

The One That Stays (COMPLETED)- Keanu Reeves x Reader. After Y/n and Keanu are introduced by a mutual friend; Y/n’s best friend Julie, they hit it off and quickly make plans for a date. Despite their age difference, they connect in a way that neither of them expected too and a fast-developing relationship ensues. Though, while the two are happy, both their friends have their reservations and when one party is hesitant to admit their feelings, things may come to an untimely halt. Will their whirlwind romance make it, or it too good to be true? Warnings- Age gap, SMUT, angst. Chapter1  Chapter2  Chapter3   Chapter4  Chapter5  Chapter6  Chapter7  Chapter8  Chapter9  Chapter10  Chapter11  Chapter12  Chapter13  Bonus- The Reveal

 Lullaby (COMPLETED)- Keanu Reeves x Reader. Y/n has grown up around luxury all her life, at just twenty-three; she wants for nothing and has everything.....except a sense of belonging in the world she’s been brought up in. When she meets movie star Keanu Reeves at one of her parents’ parties, they can’t help feel a strong attraction for each other despite the thirty plus years between them. While Keanu initially tries to resist her, they eventually submit and a sex-based relationship ensues. But, when there’s another contender for Y/n’s heart, they must decide whether they can ever be more, before family politics makes the decision for them. Warnings- Age gap, SMUT/NSFW, heavy alcohol consumption, infidelity/promiscuity, angst. 1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  11  12  13  14  15  16  17

Put Me In A Movie (COMPLETED)-  Keanu Reeves x Reader. Requested. Keanu and Y/n meet on the heel of staring in a movie together, initially flustered by his presence, Y/n quickly finds a good friend in Keanu. However, as tension builds between them, their friendship is threatened and their urge to venture into something confusingly romantic grows daily. Complications arise from Y/n’s relationship, those who scrutinize their relationship and their obvious age gap. Warnings- Age gap, SMUT/NSFW, infidelity, angst, implied d/s.    Summary Prologue  1   2   3  4  5  6 7  8  9  10  11  12  13  14  15 16  17

Taking Chances (COMPLETED)- After moving to Paris with her fiancee, Y/n’s spontaneous day trip leaves her stuck in a small town in Luxembourg, where she meets Keanu. They click instantly and in three days, they fall head over heels for each other, though, Y/n isn’t too keen on leaving everything she’s known for so long for love at first sight. 1  2  3  4

Drabbles

Habit- Keanu Reeves x Reader. A smoking habit that Y/n once despised turns out to one of Y/n’s biggest reminder of Keanu while he’s away. 

Rain- Keanu Reeves x Reader. A lazy morning as it rains.

Cough Drop- Keanu Reeves x Reader. Y/n tries a new skin care product and Keanu makes a silly comparison.

Les Echardes- John Wick x Reader. A romantic night spent near a scenic Paris.

Sunday Morning- Keanu Reeves x Reader. As the sun peeks over the horizon, Y/n and Keanu slow dance to their song in the kitchen.

Mended-Keanu Reeves x Reader. Keanu lets Y/n read his book and reminds her of how grateful he is for her love.

4am- Keanu Reeves x Reader. Y/n and Keanu’s son wake them up at four in the morning. 

That Thing- John Wick x Reader. Y/n takes care of John while he’s sick.

Worry- John Wick x Reader. John picks Y/n up from the hospital.

More- Keanu Reeves x Reader. New parents; Y/n and Keanu cuddle and discuss their future.

Flirt- Keanu Reeves x Reader. Keanu meets an alluring woman at the bar.

Birthday Treat- Keanu Reeves x Reader. The reader surprises Keanu on his birthday. Warnings- SMUT/NSFW, oral sex (male receiving)

The Last Time- John Wick x Reader. John shows up at Y/n’s place, promising that he’ll never hurt her again.....after doing the same thing many times before. Inspired by The Last Time by Taylor Swift ft Gary Lightbody. Warnings- Angst.

Blackout- John Wick x Reader. John and Y/n spend a cozy evening together after the power goes off. Warnings- tiniest mention of SMUT at the end.

Headcannons

Vampire!John Wick

Find me on Ao3 where I write for other works. Fics written before the revamping of this blog are exclusive to Ao3.

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The Hardships of Love - Aragorn x Reader (angst/fluff)

Request: "...the reader is a dunedain ranger like aragorn and they're very good friends. one day they're talking and the topic of love comes up and they're both sorta upset at their luck for falling for elves. the reader reveals she is/was in love with haldir but sorta ran from that romance because it was doomed (due to the difference in races)"

Tags: @subtle-sunrise

Warnings: angst (break ups and sadness as a result), 2,335 words

A/N: The lovely @subtle-sunrise gave me several ideas about how to finish this request, I chose to go the route of the reader and Aragorn bonding/perhaps falling a little in love with each other. You can choose to read this as platonic or romantic, it's deinfitely up to your interpretation. I LOVED THIS REQUEST UGH I would also love to write more Aragorn stuff bc he's hella cool so lemme know if you are interested, otherwise enjoy :)

The Trollshaws had always been a dangerous place, filled with Stone-trolls who came down from the north looking for people to snack on. Luckily, most of them stayed within the confines of the woods, only eating those dumb enough to trespass on their territory.

However, for the past month or so, the Trolls had been venturing out of the woods, terrorizing the many villagers and halflings who lived on the East-West Road. The situation had escalated to the point where several townsfolk got together and asked the Rangers of the North to intervene.

In (Y/n)’s mind, their plea for help was indicative of the severity of the situation; under normal circumstances, most people were too afraid of the Rangers to even mention them in conversation, let alone willingly talk to them.

You’d been sent out from Rivendell with Aragorn to diffuse the situation by whatever means you saw fit. Though you did not want the confrontation to escalate to violence, you knew it was nearly impossible to bargain with a Troll. 

The two of you had ended up fighting a cohort of twenty or so Trolls, killing a few and chasing the rest back into the Trollshaws. You’d returned to the town you’d chased them out of to help dispose of the corpses and offer suggestions on how to deter the Trolls in the future (“Building some fences would not hurt,” you’d said sarcastically, grinning as Aragorn stifled a laugh).

The sun was already beginning to sink beneath the horizon by the time you and Aragorn had begun your trek back to Rivendell. You’d both agreed to travel for an hour or so before setting up camp and getting some much needed sleep; you’d hopefully return to Lord Elrond’s domain sometime tomorrow afternoon.

The ride was almost completely silent, save for the sounds of your horses’ hooves hitting the dirt road and the crickets chirping in the woods around you. You were both extremely tired, and when Aragorn noticed a small patch of moss nestled between a cluster of trees, you’d gladly agreed to stop.

Aragorn was beginning to light a fire in the middle of the small grove, and you were making sure the horses’ reins were tightly secured to a fallen branch. You tossed them both some carrots from a sack you’d brought along with you, then turned back to where Aragorn was piling wood onto a steady orange flame. You grinned, relishing in the warm feeling the fire provided.

“Thank you, Aragorn,” you murmured, sitting down across from him and holding your hands up to the flames. He hummed in reply. It was early fall, and though the cooler air allowed you to fight without producing copious amounts of sweat, it was now too chilly at night for your liking. Aragorn looked up and noticed you shivering slightly.

“Would you like a blanket, (Y/n)?” he asked, gesturing to where your bags sat behind him. You shook your head and Aragorn chuckled, standing up to grab one anyways.

“Aragon, that’s not necessary,” you whined as he rummaged through your bag.

“If you catch a cold, the Elves back in Rivendell will tease you relentlessly for the rest of the week,” he replied as he walked over to you, blanket in hand. “I’m saving you from that rather unlikable fate.”

You laughed, grabbing the blanket and draping it over yourself.

“Thank you for sparing me from certain Elven humiliation, then,” you said, noticing the corners of Aragorn’s mouth tilting upwards into a small smile.

You’d never understood why Aragorn, or Strider as he was more commonly known, had a reputation for being serious and unfriendly. You’d known him since you were a teenager; he’d been your mentor and close companion as you trained to become a Ranger. You were used to seeing him smile and laugh, though it seemed the majority of the common folk thought he was incapable of doing so.

“Would you like some bread?” Aragorn asked, carrying his own bag closer to the fire. You squinted at him in the dim lighting.

“If it’s Lembas bread, I don’t want it,” you replied bluntly. Aragorn chuckled, knowing far too well your hatred for Elven Way bread.

“Luckily, this is sourdough,” he said, grinning as your eyes lit up. “It’s probably stale at this point, but-”

“Throw me a chunk of that,” you interrupted, gesturing to the loaf of bread he had procured from his pack. He ripped off a sizable piece and threw it over the fire, laughing as you caught it in your mouth.

“Elrond would most definitely not approve of that behavior,” he remarked, ripping off a piece of bread for himself and tossing it in his mouth. You rolled your eyes and groaned.

“The other day, he felt the need to lecture me on my dining etiquette,” you said, grimacing at the memory. “Apparently, not knowing the difference between the different sized forks is absolutely disgraceful.”

“Ah yes, the classic salad versus dining fork conversation,” Aragorn grinned. “I myself have received that same lecture on several occasions.” You laughed.

“I’ve always find it funny how when I visit Lothlórien, the Elves only ask about my duties as a Ranger, but in Rivendell, they only comment on my lack of proper manners,” you noted, watching Aragorn simultaneously laugh and choke on his mouthful of bread. He glared at you as you chuckled at him.

"You must never repeat this,” he said seriously, “but the Elves of Rivendell have a reputation for being the most judgemental and fussy in Middle Earth.”

You laughed loudly, nodding in agreement as you popped the last bit of bread in your mouth. It was not very filling, but over the years you’d learned that some food was always much better than none at all.

“Speaking of Lothlórien, how are the Elves there doing?” Aragorn asked, referencing your visit there a few weeks ago. You’d just returned from the other side of the Misty Mountains when Elrond had sent you and Aragorn out to deal with the Troll problem.

“They’re doing well, Lady Galadriel and Lord Celeborn seem to be in good spirits,” you said, a little too softly for Aragorn’s liking. His brows furrowed in concern.

“How about Haldir?” he asked, noticing you shift uncomfortably.

For the last decade or so, you and Haldir had been in an unofficial relationship. The first time you accompanied Elrond to Lothlórien, you’d managed to capture the blonde Elf’s attention. Since then, you spent most of your frequent trips there with him, writing letters to each other between visits.

You had always thought you were unworthy of his affections. He was so wise and thoughtful, his many centuries of life having influenced his placid demeanor. He was also kind, happy to spend much of his time ensuring the safety of his fellow Elves. Meanwhile, you were a hot-tempered Ranger who was known in the West for being a harbinger of danger.

“Haldir is, uh, well he’s good,” you replied, purposefully avoiding Aragorn’s gaze.

What you weren’t telling him was that you’d ended your relationship with Haldir during your last visit. Of course you still cared for him, very deeply as a matter of fact, but that was the exact reason you had decided to take a step back.

“(Y/n)?” Aragorn asked softly. You nodded, still not looking up from the fire flickering in front of you.

“(Y/n), look at me.”

You bit your lip and shook your head, not wanting him to see the tears threatening to fall down your face.

Silence from Aragorn. You focused on the crackling of the fire, the way the soft orange light danced across the ground. It was a little mesmerizing, and honestly, you were more than happy to be entranced by the lambent flames; it was a welcome distraction from the sadness that had begun to permeate your consciousness.

You snapped out of your daze as soon as you heard Aragorn shuffling from across the fire. You finally looked up, watching as he stood and walked around the fire, sitting down next to you.

“I do not know what troubles your mind,” he murmured, gaze locked on the fire in front of him, “but I know the importance of companionship in sadness, and I’ll gladly offer you comfort if you want it.”

He turned his head, eyes filled with compassion and concern. You felt the tears you’d been trying so hard to contain begin to fall down your face, and you let out a very shaky sob.

Aragorn leaned forward immediately, wrapping you in a strong embrace. You didn’t know how long you spent weeping into his shoulder, him whispering soothing words in your ear as he rubbed your back.

After what seemed like hours, your sobs reduced to small sniffles. You pulled back, exhaling loudly and burying your face in your hands.

“I’m sorry,” you said meekly.

“Don’t be,” Aragorn replied, hands moving from your shoulders to your forearms.

“I told him we couldn't be together anymore,” you whispered, focusing on his thumbs rubbing circles on your skin.

“Ah, then it’s my fault you’re crying,” Aragorn said regretfully. “I’m sorry for bringing it up, (Y/n), I truly am.”

“No, no it’s not your fault,” you reassured him. “It’s better this way anyways. I’d rather cry with someone I trust than break down in front of the rest of the Rangers or the Elves.”

“I don’t know if our Elven acquaintances know how to manage the more intense human emotions,” Aragorn chuckled. You grinned, wiping the remaining tears from your cheeks with the palms of your hands.

“I just, I couldn't do it anymore,” you said, struggling to find the right words. “I felt guilty every time we were together.”

“Why?” Aragorn asked genuinely.

“Because he’s an Elf,” you groaned, flopping backwards dramatically. Aragorn grinned as you stretched out on the mossy ground.

“Like, he’s basically immortal, but everyone knows Elves can die if they experience really deep loss or sadness,” you said, “and then Haldir told me he loved me, and I just couldn’t help but feel ashamed.”

You sat up and looked at him, an unreadable expression on his face.

“I don’t want to be the reason he dies,” you said softly. “I mean, I’m definitely mortal. Hopefully I’ll live a long life and die when I’m old, but with this gig, who knows.” You gestured to your sword, lying behind you on the ground.

“And then he’s just so, so important in Lothlórien, especially now, with Sauron gaining power and all that,” you said softly. “Staying together could result in me unwillingly killing one of their strongest defenders. I couldn’t do that to him, to them.”

“I understand,” Aragorn said softly. “I understand you completely.”

You looked up at him, confusion evident on your face. He sighed, looking at the fire next to him.

“I ended things with Arwen for the same reason,” he clarified, grabbing a stray twig and throwing it haphazardly at the flames. You gasped, inching closer to him and setting your hand on his thigh.

“Aragorn, I’m so sorry,” you said softly, easily detecting the pain in his eyes.

“You don’t have to be, I’m fine,” he said, turning to you and giving you a very unconvincing smile. “But I do understand where you’re coming from, it’s hard to let an Elf love you knowing that you could easily cause their demise.”

You nodded, leaning over to rest your head in his lap.

“I’m still sorry, I know how much you care for her,” you murmured. Aragorn rested his hand on your head, mindlessly running his fingers through your knotted hair.

“I think we’ll both recover,” he replied. “Besides, it’s not like she was the only being I loved. There are plenty of people in my life I care for.”

You looked up, blushing when you saw he was looking down at you adoringly.

“Does Elrond know you’ve stopped pursuing his daughter?” you asked in an attempt to change the subject.

“Probably,” he replied. “We haven’t talked about it yet. I don’t know whether he’ll be pleased or angry at me.”

“Pleased? Why would he be pleased?”

“He was always upset with me for courting Arwen,” he sighed.

“That’s stupid,” you huffed, causing Aragorn to chuckle. “You’re a great person, Aragorn, Elrond’s standards for Arwen’s suitors are intentionally set impossibly high, that way he’ll never have to part with her.”

“Thank you,” Aragorn said with a small smile.

“No, thank you,” you said.

“Why?”

“For letting me talk about Haldir, I guess,” you clarified. “There aren’t many people who understand what it’s like courting an Elf, and how unworthy they make you feel.”

“Hey,” Aragorn said softly, tilting your head in his lap so you met his gaze . “You are not unworthy of Haldir’s affections, or anyone’s affections for that matter. You’re one of the kindest and bravest people I know, do not be so hard on yourself.”

“Thank you,” you murmured, face flushing at his compliment. “You are also worthy of Arwen’s love, though I know why you feel as if you aren't.”

Aragon nodded thoughtfully, eyes darting to his bag lying on the ground.

“We should get ready to sleep,” he said. You nodded and yawned, suddenly remembering how exhausted you were.

You sat up, wrapping your blanket tighter around yourself as Aragorn grabbed his own worn quilt.

“Is there anything in your bag that you want?” he asked, chuckling as you shook your head and stretched out on the ground.

You smiled as you felt him lie down next to you, sleeping side by side as you’d done so many times before. You turned over so you were facing him and buried your face in the soft fabric of his tunic.

“Good night, Aragorn,” you mumbled, surrendering to your own drowsiness.

You had dozed off before you could feel Aragorn press his lips to your forehead and whisper a good night, draping his arm over your body before falling asleep himself.

[xofaddiction]

                           𝕠𝕙 𝕕𝕠𝕟'𝕥 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕨𝕠𝕣𝕣𝕪 𝕪𝕠𝕦'𝕝𝕝 𝕗𝕚𝕟𝕕 𝕪𝕠𝕦𝕣𝕤𝕖𝕝𝕗                                𝕗𝕠𝕝𝕝𝕠𝕨 𝕪𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕙𝕖𝕒𝕣𝕥 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕟𝕠𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕖𝕝𝕤𝕖                             𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕔𝕒𝕟 𝕕𝕠 𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕤 𝕠𝕙 𝕓𝕒𝕓𝕖 𝕚𝕗 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕥𝕣𝕪                      𝕒𝕝𝕝 𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕀 𝕨𝕒𝕟𝕥 𝕗𝕠𝕣 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕞𝕪 𝕤𝕠𝕟 𝕚𝕤 𝕥𝕠 𝕓𝕖 𝕤𝕒𝕥𝕚𝕤𝕗𝕚𝕖𝕕                                       𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕓𝕖 𝕒 𝕤𝕚𝕞𝕡𝕝𝕖 𝕜𝕚𝕟𝕕 𝕠𝕗 𝕞𝕒𝕟

full name:  gabriel vincent craine

nicknames:  gabe

age:  34

date of birth:  sept. 7

zodiac: virgo

gender:  male

pronouns: he/him

sexuality:  heterosexual

physical

hair color: blond

eye color: blue

height: 6′2″

weight: 194 lbs

personality

morality:  lawful neutral

positive traits: efficient, practical, diligent, focused, intelligent, thorough, shy.

negative traits: hypercritical, demanding, hard to please, self-conscious, reclusive.

job: lawyer

skills: organized, good at time management, unshakable, can speak a few languages (english, spanish, french, and japanese), writing, small guitar skills.

family

parents: vincent and gloria craine.

siblings: isaiah craine ( location unknown deceased )

backstory and details - ＴＲＩＧＧＥＲ     ＷＡＲＮＩＮＧ :                                      mentions of alcoholism, miscarriage/abortion, gun violence, divorce.                                              feelsy shitTM

                                               ✴   ✴   ✴   ✴   ✴   ✴     ✴   ✴   ✴    

home life was good. born to vincent and gloria craine one sunny labor day weekend, gabriel was their miracle baby. he was a blond haired, blue eyed, chubby cheeked toddler who captured their hearts and affections beyond what they could ever imagine. even when their youngest was born, isaiah could and would never live up to his brother’s name.

his family was very catholic, and even in that he was diligent. mass on sundays, easter and christmas, confirmed and baptized, he did what was expected of him as a man of his faith. he was thankful academics kept him too busy to become an altar boy, indulging so deeply he only passively believed in felt like sacrilege beyond what he thought himself capable of.

he was a happy child that grew into a golden boy. valedictorian of his high school, gabe was heavily involved in choir, track, debate team, student council, and won prom king in his junior and senior years without much effort. it wasn’t because he considered himself popular, but because he was personable. he wasn’t snooty or above hanging out with any and every faction of people around school. he found bits of himself in everyone and was always willing to help or tutor in any way he could.

when it came time for college, it came as no surprise that he was fit for ivy league. his choice was dartmouth, somewhere with a liberal atmosphere where he could study without the competitive, stuck up harvard-yale students hounding him to do more and be better. he double majored in english and history and chose to minor in computer science. his degrees were achieved and he finished top of his class.

he attended law school at oxford, electing to study abroad in the uk and take in more than what chicago and new hampshire could. he knew what he learned in litigation for foreign law wouldn’t be useful in america, but it was important for him to understand the nuances of european law as someone interested in international law.

while at oxford, he met danielle fournier, a law student in his class that shared interests with him; from music to art to history and philosophy, she bewitched him body and soul and he fell in love harder than he thought possible. for the moment, he thought she was the endgame for him.

when it came time for him to move back to america, danielle came with him. he enrolled at yale law and worked a full-time job as an assistant in a law firm, doing what he could to support himself and the girl he loved. he did everything right; he went to school, got a dream job, moved off to new york and worked himself to success, proposed to the girl and married her. everything was was it should have been.

he was a shining beacon of hope and an example to everyone in his family, most of all his younger brother. he knew that isaiah had an odd sort of idolization over him. he was the big brother, the one who encouraged and stood as a confidant and first friend for isaiah.

the family seemed complete; two perfectly happy parents, a son with a wife and a bright future, another dating a young, successful woman. they seemed the picture of perfection, but there was some nagging presence that spoke otherwise. his parents were more friends than husband and wife- they stayed together for appearance sake. gabriel was a ceaseless workhorse, and though he did his best to be the good man who came home by 7pm, when he did come home, he found his wife drunk and drowsy, always reeking of expensive wine and stake perfume. and as for his brother and his girlfriend; there was something that felt off, whether it was in their relationship or his own, he did not know. however, something in the back of gabriel’s mind that knew his and katerina vasile’s stories would not end as they had began; acquaintances that only spoke at family gatherings.

he never believed in soul mates or twin flames, despite believing in the presence of a soul. he never understood that even upon a single meeting someone could mean so much to another person right up until the moment it happened. he barely knew katerina, and yet he saw something in her he knew he wouldn’t ever be able to forget. she would stay in his mind forever, and though he loved danielle with everything he had in him, he knew that even in the darkness when he lay drifting, it was her eyes he’d remember.

he would never act on it; he was married and happy to be, and whether the relationship between himself remain stale and passive or grow into platonic companionship, he was glad for either, though he would prefer the latter. if it meant being to keep those eyes in his life, it was worth it. he liked katerina, cared for her and paid attention to what she said, far more than his brother seemed to, though his interaction was not inappropriate.

it wasn’t often he had to be strict or commanding over the younger sibling that so adored him, but a family christmas party changed that. isiaiah was showing off; acting like a prick to katerina for the sake of bolstering himself in his brother’s eyes. gabriel hated it. excusing himself and his brother with a charming smile, gabriel gripped isiaiah by the flesh on the underside of his arm and dragging him to a quiet section of the house, gabriel’s voice dropped low and dripped venom that had never before passed his lips in the presence of family: “if i ever fucking see you treat that girl like that ever again, i’ll drag you outside and break your face against the goddamn curb, got that?” he threw his brother’s arm and stormed back in before another word could be said, plastering on a smile as he went to keep danielle from pouring another drink.

danielle was always a big drinker, but her usage escalated well within their marriage. she got pregnant and while gabriel thought she was happy to be, she was not. behind his back she was taking doses of a prescription drug that halts progression of pregnancy. she lost the baby and gabe was devastated. he’d never really thought about being a father, but the when presented the prospect of it, excited him. he thought he could be a good father, not only because he was stable and happy, but because he loved the baby from the moment he got the news.

though hurt beyond measure, he was hopeful; they managed once, they could manage again when the time was right? if there was a god that saw his diligence, surely he’d bless them with another chance?

danielle’s guilt drove her to drink and drink heavily. she lied to the man she loved and couldn’t quiet the raging inner monologue that scorned save for drowning it at the bottom of a bottle. more than one argument came of gabe begging her to slow down and her subsequent refusal. he lost a child, he didn’t want to lose his wife, too. he stood with her through it all, hoping that one day everything would be better.

over a year later, happy news came once more. danielle was pregnant again, and she seemed elated. gabriel was over the moon. overnight everything seemed to improve: his wife had stopped drinking, he was going to be a father, they were a picture of happiness ready to work their lives around a new baby. not not everything was as it seemed.

one night, roused by a work call, gabriel realized his wife wasn’t in bed beside him. worried she might be feeling poorly from morning sickness he followed the trail of light into the bathroom and glanced in, just in time to watch danielle throw back a pill. he would have ignored it, but something in his gut told him otherwise. when he pushed the door open further, danielle jumped, frightened and caught off guard. the pill bottle fell to the floor and rolled to his feet. when he saw the label, he recognized the prescription name as a pregnancy terminator from a lawsuit he’d once worked.

his heart shattered in an instant. it’s important to note that gabriel never would have forced danielle to go through with a pregnancy she wasn’t comfortable in. and while it would have hurt, he would have accepted her decision with grace and understanding. it was the fact that she bold-face lied to him. she lied about being happy, she lied about wanting to build a life with him, she watched his grief and kept everything locked away, and was set on doing it again.

gabriel wordlessly moved back into the bedroom and got a suitcase to pack a bag. he wasn’t ready for a separation or divorce, he just couldn’t have her in his ear when he so desperately needed to think.

while his back was turned, danielle reached into his bedside table and pulled out a loaded gun he kept in case of emergencies and held it to his back. she demanded he hear her side of it before going anywhere. and so he did. for two days he was kept downstairs in the kitchen at gunpoint, allowed to do nothing except watch her drink and listen to her rant and beg his forgiveness.

she waved the gun around recklessly, throwing empty bottles on the wall behind him and the floor in front of his feet. he watched her do this with a distant, cold, dejected demeanor, never jumping or shying away from the blows she had to throw. he was hurting, more than he realized he ever could and numb to her wallowing. the suffering he felt was her cause, he was angry. hurt. he didn’t want to hear her, he didn’t want to look her in the eyes. there was a grim sense that they would both die there in that house, that she would put the gun to his temple and shoot and then die in any which way she chose to do.

it took all of his resolve and none of his might to realize that what he saw in her was a facade. for so long, he’d been the best he could be: for her, for his parents, even his undeserving brother. and where did it get him? alone. his parents never worried; he was the exalted heir, the good boy, they didn’t have cause. and his brother? he had taken all of gabriel’s shining example and corrupted it into nothing more than pretense to get where he needed to go before he commanded rule over dominion that was not his; an abusive, negligent tyrant no better than the pharaoh of egypt who let his people die for the sake of his pride. and his wife, the woman he’d devoted life and happiness to, turned on him with a glock aimed at his chest.

a beacon of hope came on the morning of the third day when his partner at the firm kept calling. when you’re a good lawyer, you make enemies with dangerous people. when you’re a great lawyer, you guarantee those enemies become lethal. gabe was a great lawyer. radio silence for two days was uncharacteristic for gabe, everyone had reason to worry. although the same could not be said for isaiah. danielle grew steadily more and more frustrated by the noise and gabriel told her to let him talk down the situation to keep the firm from calling again. she steadily agreed. it was the first time gabe had ever thanked god for making his wife an alcoholic.

for a long time, he and his partner established code words as a safety measure. different words had different meanings, the most rehearsed of which was BOOTH. as in john wilkes booth. as in someone was holding a gun to his head. so when gabriel said: “hey, i had to rush out of town for a family emergency, can you email me the details of the BOOTH case to look over when I get home?” danielle was none the wiser. but the partner knew to dial 911.

when the cops and ambulance showed up, everything went to shit. danielle panicked and shot the gun when they kicked in the door, frightening her into pulling the trigger. the bullet lodged in gabriel’s left shoulder and knocked him into the broken glass on the floor. realizing her mistake, she brought the gun to her head. the cops wrestled her down before she could pull the trigger for a second time.

once discharged from the hospital, gabriel drew up divorce papers, a restraining order, and a lawsuit. he got his divorce, he got the restraining order, and danielle was placed in prison.

gabriel left new york after that, electing to go back home to chicago. once back in the windy city, he looked for work as a private lawyer, one who wouldn’t join a firm until he could scope out which councilors he chose to have on his side and those he chose to fight.

working for the vasile family wasn’t planned, but he seemed to find his niche there. he’d seen plenty of violence in the world, he knew how ugly it could be, and he knew that even those closest to him were monsters in disguise. it was his time to chose to have on his side and who to fight for, rather than against.

seeing katerina again hadn’t been his motive, but he couldn’t say that those eyes wouldn’t bring just a little bit of light to his darkest days.

[secondhand-trash]

Five Hargreeves(UA)- Three Times He Proposed and the One Time You Said Yes

A/N: Ok fine, so this was the fic that i originally planned to post last week. I was having a major struggle with the plot and I abandoned it mid-way to work on the one that I posted yesterday. Glad that I succeed in finding the motivation to finish this.

Description: He wanted to get married, you did not. 

Warning: Blood, fighting?

Wordcount: 2634

Playlist:

Loving is Easy//Rex Orange County

All Out of Love//Air Supply

Summertime//My Chemical Romance

“Marry me.”

“No.”

You put the book you were reading down onto your lap and looked up to see your very unimpressed boyfriend.

You two were assigned partners in the Commission. Being a well-trained assassin before being recruited, you were one of the most skilled in the organization and was beyond annoyed to be paired up when you were doing fine on your own. At first, you couldn’t stand Five but came to develop a liking towards him after going on multiple missions together, being more empathetic after learning what he had been through. You hated to mention it as you felt that it boosts his ego way too much, but being the more powerful one out of the two of you(he did have an upper hand, superpower and all), he did save your life on multiple occasions.

You were 50 and he was 58 when you went on the mission to stop the assassination of Kennedy. You soon noticed that he wasn’t paying attention to the mission at all and you confronted him about it.

“Five, our target is getting close to where we need him to be. Can you just stop flipping through that notebook for a second and focus? It’s really unlike you to...” 

“Shush. I’m almost there, almost done...”

It ended up with him pulling you into the portal with him. The next thing you knew, you crashed onto the ground, shocked to see that both you and Five had the body of a child. Obviously, you were infuriated but eventually joined in on Five’s plan to stop the apocalypse with his siblings. You were glad to say that the plan did work, no one knew for sure that there is no more apocalypse in the future but at least everything seemed fine for the moment being. No longer having to kill people for a living and regaining the youth you had long lost, you got to experience the joy(pain) of growing into an adult all over again, this time in a modern world and with new friends. It didn’t took long for your relationship with Five to develop into something most certainly more than platonic.

And that’s how you ended up right where you were at. Trying to read a book on a sunny afternoon at the building that used to be the Umbrella Academy, when Five suddenly tells you to marry him.

“And why, exactly?” 

“We’re a mess, Five.” You said and Five rolled his eyes, walking away from you.

Sensing his annoyance, you quickly got up and followed him down the corridor towards the bar. You went in to see him picking up a bottle of tequila and you instantly cover the glass he was holding in his other hand. “Five, put that down.” He turned his gaze from the liquor to you, putting the items down and crossed his arms in front of his chest. You sat down across from him and stared back at him, resting your head on your palm, waiting for him to say something.

“Was it something I do?” Five questioned, looking more defeated and confused than frustrated now. You regretted your bluntness earlier. You hated seeing him like this, feeling so guilty knowing that you caused the pain that he tried so hard to conceal yet you stood by your answer. 

“No, it wasn’t you,” you reached out to touch his cheek, “We both went through so much. You got stuck in the apocalypse all by yourself for decades, no don’t give me that look pretending to be all tough and whatnot, I know how much it affected you. I was literally raised to be a killing machine who does not know anything but how to kill. It was all I know and now that I don’t have to do that anymore, I’m lost.” 

The young man furrowed his eyebrows, “And how does that correlate to what I was asking you?”

“It’s just... you know?” you struggled to find the right words, “For once, everything is so peaceful. No more killing, no more assassination, no more apocalypse yet I feel so out of place, so.. without a purpose. I don’t want to go into marriage with that kind of emotional burden, there’s so many stuff we have to work on. I don’t know how to put it in words but I just don’t feel ready and...” 

“Alright, I get it.” Five stopped you from rambling, a forced smile plastered on his face, “Forget that I’ve said anything.” With that, he teleported away, leaving you alone in the bar.

The following days were torturous. He made a point to let you know that he was ignoring you on purpose, teleporting pass you every time he wanted to walk past you. Five avoided all kinds of interaction with you, not even a simple “good morning” at the table. The silent treatment was driving you insane, especially when you two live in the same building. You two had fought before, but never for this long. It hurts but you couldn’t help from being frustrated as well.

“You can’t just ignore me, Five.” You said to the man sitting on the far end of the table who was mindlessly stirring his cup of coffee. He looked up and gave you a cold stare for a second before turning his gaze back to the black liquid. You sighed, “Come on, Five! Just give me a response, anything!” Nothing, not even a glare this time. 

“Fine,” You threw your hands in the air in defeat, “I’ll stop bothering you.” Shoving the chair back, you got up and walked away from the table.

“I don’t understand your reluctance towards marriage,” the voice stopped you in your tracks. 

"The last time we had this conversation, it ended up with you ignoring me for days.” You turned back to look at Five, folding your arms in front of your chest as you recall the last time you talked to him. 

“Well,” Five said bitterly with a mocking grin on his lips, “I’m not sure if you noticed but when you proposed to someone and got rejected, feeling hurt is a completely normal reaction."

"I've told you, I don't feel like I'm ready for it yet." You said, a hint of frustration in your tone. After knowing Five for so long, you had come to realize that his experiences in life made him stubborn and target-focused, you did find it to be a loveable trait sometimes but right now, it simply felt like he was not listening to anything you had said. 

"I'm not saying that your concern is invalid but I just don't see how that has to do with anything." Five said, propping himself up by placing his arm on the table. He seemed so calm and collected, too nonchalant that it was almost forced. It was the silence before the storm and you could sense that he was starting to loose patience, you two read each other like a book after years of companionship. 

The annoyance in his tone almost ticked you off. "Five, I do want to marry you," you said, "and we will get married one day, just not now. Not while there are so many things we need to figure out."

"You're avoiding my question."

"Why are you rushing this?" you said, raising your voice without noticing. 

Five snapped, "Why can’t you see that this could be our chance at happiness?” 

You were taken back by his burst of anger, the shock was soon replaced by your own annoyance. “Did you even listen to anything I said?” you bite back. 

He let out a dry laugh, “Yeah, and I don’t see how that makes any sense.” 

You were lost at words, he didn’t seem to pay much attention and carried on, "We finally stopped the apocalypse and for once, everything is at peace. Like you said, no more killing, no more Commission here to give us orders. Why should it matter that we are messed up? We have each other!” 

As sweet as that sounds, it disturbed you way more than such a confession should. “Marriage is a commitment and getting married means sharing a life, relying on nothing but another person is not healthy I-”

“I can’t lose you.” 

It came out like a roar. Both of you froze in place. Five sighed and his shoulder sank, “You are the one good thing I have and I can’t live with the thought of losing you. Which is why I am asking you this right now, marry me.” 

You stared your lover who looked so small, the shadow of the old man who went into the battlefield with you hidden deep in his eyes. Neither one of you were ready. “My god, listen to us,” you said with an almost trembling voice, “we can’t even talk about marriage without getting into an argument. How are we suppose to get married?” 

“(y/n)...” 

“Our issues won’t just go away if we get married. A happy marriage takes work, it takes communication.” you paused as you felt tears welling up in your eyes, “I can’t marry you when we are like this. I’m sorry, Five” He tried to say something, but you didn’t give him the chance and walked out the room.

“Agnes, I feel like a bitch.” you mumbled while you rest you head on the counter. You needed to sort things out and being in awkward silence with Five did not seem like a good option. So you headed out for your favourite spot in town(Five brought you here first, but you got so hooked on the doughnuts that you ended up visiting on your own all the time). 

The waitress put down a plate and gave you a soft smile, “I’m sure he’ll understand. Getting married is a big deal, you should always respect the other person’s opinion no matter where they are coming from.” 

You looked up and sighed, “If only he understands. I have no idea how I’m suppose to go back and face him.” 

“He’ll come to his senses, you two always manage to sort things out after you fight.” 

“Sure, but things are different this-” You held onto your mug as you speak when you saw a shadow of what seems like a person flickering from its reflection. You moved it slightly towards the light source to get a clearer image. Your heart skipped a beat as you finally make out what the shadow was. Gunman, and more than one.

“Hide in the back room.” you quickly whispered to Agnes, trying not to move as to avoid suspicion. 

“What? But I-” 

“Just do it,” you muttered, “lock the door and don’t come out.” Agnes was confused but did as you told her to reluctantly. You could feel your palms sweating as you clenched your jaw, there was only one reason to explain why gunmen were here. 

The Commisson found you, and they want you dead.

Upon regaining your youth, your physical abilities were better than the time you worked as one of them but you were out of training. It had been a while since you last had to fight someone, let alone a group of armed fighters. But there was no choice but to act on your instincts as you heard the sound of the doors opening and the clicks of the trigger. Sliding a knife in between you fingers, you spun around to face the group of men pointing their guns at you. You recognized each and every single one of them, you trained some of them yourself. They were good, but you were better.

Without a single thought, you sprint towards the closest man and knocked his gun off his hand. There was no time for thinking and you did what years of experience taught you to do. 

Quick movements, no hesitation, no mercy. 

It was a tough fight, you were more skilled but outnumbered. But the blade had yet to lose its edge and the group of men were now lying lifelessly on the floor. You could taste the copper tang in your mouth as you pant, a sharp pain spiked through your body and you hissed in pain. You put your hand on your waist only to pull back and saw it covered in blood. One of those bastards must have hit but you were too focused to notice right away. You tried to move towards the door but your breathing got heavier. Your legs gave in and you collapsed on the floor. 

The last thing you saw was a flash of blue light before your vision gone black.

The light almost hurt your eyes when you woke up and you had to fight to force them open. Lying on what seems to be a bed, you tried to get up but yelped at the pain in your waist. “Careful.” a pair of arms supported your back and slowly helped you lay back down. You turned to see a very concerned Five by the side of the bed.

“How did I get back?” 

“Agnes called me, I heard the fighting and got there immediately. I arrived to see you on the ground, covered in blood.” 

“Oh.” you whispered, staring at the ceiling. 

“You’re reckless for going into a fight against so many people WEAPONLESS.” he said, widening his eyes as he emphasized on the last word. 

“Well,” you said matter of factly, “they were blocking the door and most of us normal people would need to physically walked through an exit to leave a place. Would be convenient if I could teleport though.” Five let out a humph and rolled his eyes in a mocking manner. You smiled, relieved to see that at least he was responding to your jokes again.

Five’s expression returned to a more serious one, he pursed his lips and opened his mouth hesitantly, “About earlier,” he avoided your eyes, a sign of doubt that was rare to see on him, “I’m sorry for pushing you to do something you don’t want to.” 

You tried to say something, that you were sorry too but he stopped you. “I never got to have a ‘normal’ life and with the peace that I have now, I’m so afraid to lose it again that I wanted some sort of… some sort of reassurance that things are stable, and I figured that marriage would be the thing that could do that.” He lowered his head in embarrassment and you reached out to push the hair out of his face, showing him that you get it and you did not blame him at all. 

“The Commission sent people after me, they’ll sent people after you. They won’t stop until they hunt us down.” 

“Then we take them down,” Five said, holding your hand in his, “the best of the best, fighting together.” You chuckled. Looking into his eyes, you were reminded of the many reasons you fell in love with him in the first place, one of them being the way his eyes glisten when he speaks of things that he cares about. 

“I want to marry you,” he said with his eyes fixed on you, “because you mean the world to me. We can do it tomorrow, next month, next year. Hell, next decade, I don’t care. I’m ready whenever you are ready.”

At this moment, you realized that you had found the purpose you were so desperately looking for. You wanted to grow old with this man, getting better and better each day. Whatever you set your mind on, you want him by your side as much as you want to be there for him.

“Five?”

“Hm?”

“Ask me again.”

“Will you marry me...?”

“Yes.”

[marjiandco]

#3: Muster

Timeline: after the dragonsong war

Characters: Marji, Aymeric

Word Count: 1454

Marji was extremely nervous about the coming dinner with Aymeric. He was so regal, and refined, he was like a crystal clear lake compared to her muddy waters. She even stooped to asking Emmanellain de Fortemps for fashion help when Raiku was at a loss.  

A decision she still couldn't decide if she regretted or not when he put her in a dress with a corset so tight her breasts felt like they were throttling her. She suspected he has some perverse glee in seeing her like that, but with all the other high ladies of Ishgard wearing something similar she couldn't fully condemn him. She tried to have a council with Raiku about table manners but he was mysteriously busy those days. She ended up running to Honoroit for help. She never gave the kid as much credit he deserved; he was already an honorable and exceedingly practiced person.

On the day of, she walked to his estate, muttering practiced lines and polite small talk under her breath in hopes to impress. She was lead through the manor, and she was shocked with how different it was from the de Fortemps. As much as there was comfort and luxuries, de Borel's seem to covet functionality and closeness. They had reached the dining room, where Aymeric awaited her. She thanked the butler or was it landlord? And made a quick wiping motion before holding out her hand to kiss. She felt ridiculous, but he played along, taking her warm hand in his and giving it a small peck. She gave an awkward curtsy and an embarrassed laugh before they gathered around an intimate table setting.

Aymeric was an observant man; he could tell how nervous she was, and swallowed a laugh when she bent at the knee. She looked radiant, but uncomfortable in her own skin, and he vowed to bring out the woman he's come to know. He spoke in a relaxed tone, something soft and warm to entice her to leave this strange shell she's built. She loosened her shoulders after a couple glasses of wine, the food delicious as a rosy tint colored her silver cheeks. He asked her about her travels, finding himself lost in her stories of taskmaster moogles and fantastical locations. Just speaking to her brightened his day and pulled him away from his arid reports and stoic briefings.

Truth be told, he created this dinner as a way to be alone with her. He found himself inexplicably drawn to this miqo'te woman. Even their first meeting he found himself struck by her wild black and white hair, the stare that sucked him in and seemed to see right through him. Understanding her more, even at the distance she keeps, was one of the true joys of this past year. She could make him genuinely laugh. It wasn't until Estinien was stolen by Nidhogg that he realized his feelings of attraction to her. He couldn't stop thinking about her, even in his most private moments she remained. He finally couldn't take it, and with the Dragonsong war at an end he took the opportunity to speak to her. When she mentioned him coming on her next adventure, he believed her feelings to be close to his.

After the meal he asked her to go for a walk with him to his families little courtyard, away from the prying eyes of the city. They walked together beneath the moonlight, and he was transfixed at how she seemed to glow beneath the blue light. Stars speckled in her eyes, and when she stopped to look at the sky, he took his chance.

“Mistress Wahluuk, Marji..” He swallowed a lump building in his throat.

When her gemstone like eyes turned to him and she breathed out his name it was all he could do not to shiver. He placed his hands on her shoulders, and he noted how surprisingly small they were compared to his hands.

“It's been a most wonderful evening having you here. I don't believe I've had a good night like this in...I don't know how long.”

“Yes It's been such a whirlwind I haven't had time to slow down. This has been nice Aymeric.” She smiled.

He swallowed again and took a step closer to her, and he could feel her warmth and he could feel his own heat rising. She looked at him quizzically, but not unwanted.

“I enjoy my time with you. You're a strong, courageous woman who I've come to look to not just against enemies, but here, where we can be who we are. I hope I haven't spoken so freely as to offend.”

She shook her head.

“Good.” He said, the heat getting the better of him.

He moved a hand to the small of her back and leaned down, eyes locked on her lusciously pink lips as they parted, inviting him closer as her breath hitched. Just as their lips were about to touch, she spoke his name not with want, but with confusion. He stopped and pulled back an inch. She placed her hands on his chest and pushed against him weakly, as if apologetically. He was surprised by her reaction and he stopped his movements, but remained close to her.

“Aymeric I don't, um..” she mumbled, her breath tickling his nose.

As if life came back to him, he fully moved away from her, dropping his hands as red began to spread across his face.

“I...profusely apologize. If I've caused you any distress.”

“No!” she stopped him, taking hold of his hand in both of hers “It's not that it's just, we're so different. You're so refined and I'm, I'm just some adventurer.”

“You must needs not believe that. I like being with you as you are; you don't have to put all this together just to speak with me.” He gestured to her outfit. “Not that your efforts weren't noticed, you look quite nice in Ishgardian cloth.”

She snorted “Yeah Emmanellain sure thought so.”

He smiled at the glimpse of who he fell in love with, but it was faint.

“That's not the point though, Aymeric.” She slid a hand up his arm and he couldn't help but feel elated, even with things going so wrong.

“Aymeric I'm not,” she bit her lip “I don't think I'm ready for something like this. With everything that's happened I haven't been given time to recuperate.”

Though she was being delicate, he realized how much of a fool he'd been. She had just lost Haurchefant naught a few months ago, and he was already trying to bed her? Shame enveloped him.

“Aymeric you're a great man, and I love our time together, really, but I don't think I could get into a relationship right now without ruining it. I'm just, er, casual.”

He felt a pang at the thought. She has had a couple of nights where she was alone with strange people. He realized what she meant by casual, and felt a pang of jealousy that he would not be one of them. He wanted to bargain and say he could be with her with no attachments, but he knew his feelings would only grow.

“Please don't think I don't want to be your friend, I value you and want to have our talks and companionship.”

Uncharacteristically, he pulled her into a hug without asking for permission. “Marji I would never jeopardize our friendship for one strange moment.” He said in her hair.

When she circled her arms around him he breathed a sigh of relief before breaking contact, a smile he hoped to the gods didn't look pained. “You're important to me, and though I might have a passion you don't reciprocate I would like to continue to be a friend. I'll need a moment to recollect, but don't think this will make things strange between us.”

She sighed, her shoulders relaxing beneath his hands “Gods, thank you. I couldn't lose you too. I'll uh, leave you to your thoughts.”

A small pat on his chest, her ears doing that cute thing where one flattened a little more than the other before heading towards the exit. As he went to his room to lick his wounds, and Marji to hers in the de Fortemps manner, he bemoaned his stupidity. Marji would race through scenarios of being the girlfriend of Aymeric de Borel, of their lives or ultimate break ups, and nothing seemed to tug her in one direction. The fact that he accepted not only her rejection but to continue to stay friends meant she found a good man. The pair would value their friendship tightly, and the time apart in the coming wars only solidified their platonic connection.

[jay-me-says]

Things Were Different Back Then

CHAPTER FOUR: One Traitor to Another

Masterpost w/ more info on the fic | Note: all SBI-related relationships here are platonic!

The fallen king is considering tearing down the half-finished house…again.

He readjusts his sunglasses as he looks at the heap of oak and spruce. All things considered, it doesn’t look bad. It’s far from the worst thing he’s ever built, and it isn’t done yet. With a little more time, Eret could turn it into something amazing. It would make for a great home.

But it doesn’t feel right- nothing has. For over a month- a month- he’s been trying to build himself a place in L’manburg. It’s been a never-ending cycle of building, frustration, and destruction. Rinse and repeat several times.

With an aggravated sigh, Eret pulls out his axe and starts swinging, taking down the failed attempt block by disappointing block. Building a house should be so simple, especially when compared to the castle he’d constructed for his previous home, but nothing he’s tried has felt right to him.

The tower style he tried first had seemed too much like his castle, which he no longer belonged in. He wasn’t a king anymore; he had no crown. He didn’t even have the company of his flamingos. If he thought too hard about their soft, pink feathers and elegant legs, his heart started to hurt.

Another attempt had been made primarily of spruce wood, with a sloping roof and red carpeting. It had complimented the other homes and buildings in L’manburg, but that didn’t feel right either. It’d looked like the home of someone who truly belonged in the nation, not the home of someone who had turned their back on it. Even after a month, Eret didn’t feel like he fit in L’manburg. Or rather, he didn’t feel like he deserved to fit in L’manburg.  

So, he tried about a dozen other styles. Oak wood and shades of purple, birch and granite, andesite and stone bricks. When those didn’t work, he tore them down and started fresh. Countless nights were spent in the tent with a lantern, drawing up as many new designs as he could think of. And when they all failed, he thought up more. Time after time, something about the house wasn’t right. It never felt like home.

Frustrated, Eret swings his axe harder than is strictly necessary. Mingo, who has been basking in the sun nearby for the past several hours, meows unhappily at the noise and retreats to the entrance of the tent, half in and half out of it. Sunlight catches the high and low points of her luxurious cream-colored fur, turning the pretty feline into an artist’s sketch. The only splash of color is the pink collar at her neck.

Eret takes down half the unfinished house before realizing he’s being watched. The feeling of eyes on his back makes the hair on his neck rise. Tensing, he turns and sees about the last person he would have ever expected to pay him a visit.

Bathed in the late afternoon sunlight, a pale Wilbur stands a few feet from Eret’s building site. He looks uncertain and nervous, hands sort-of-clasped in front of him as he fidgets with his fingers. Eret, panting somewhat after beating up his house, looks at him quizzically, too stunned for words.

After a moment of strained silence, Wilbur says, “H- hey, Eret. I, um…see, I didn’t know who else to speak to so, could you maybe spare a second? You look like you’re busy, though, so, uh…” he trails off uncomfortably and his eyes go to his hands, which are now still but tense.

Once he gets over his surprise, Eret says, “Er, yeah, sure. That’s fine. I’m not too busy.” He leans against the wrecked remains of the house and slowly slides down a half-destroyed wall until he’s seated on the grass.

Wilbur takes a few steps forward, then says, “You sure you won’t axe me?”

The comment takes Eret by surprise, the words seeping into him and filling his chest with a cold dread that quickly freezes his entire body, down to the tips of his fingers. Does Wilbur really think I would do that?

Then, he notices the faint smile on Wilbur’s face. The way his lips curl up, almost perfectly symmetrical, paired with the humorous glint in his eyes is a familiar sight. It makes Eret’s heart ache for a moment, reminding him of a different time. He’s joking, the man realizes. Relief floods through him, rinsing away the freeze. He lets a small smile of his own tug on his face. “Yeah, I promise.”

Wilbur sits down across from Eret, crisscrossing his long legs. Intrigued by the new presence, Mingo pads over softly and sniffs Wilbur’s knee. He must not have noticed her approach, because he startles. He jolts a little, causing Mingo to recoil in response.  

Recovering, then gently holding his fingers out to the cream-colored cat, he asks, “Who’s this?” Mingo sniffs his knuckles tentatively.

Eret smiles lovingly at the fluffball. “That’s a gift from Niki. Her name is Mingo.”

Wilbur seems to connect the dots from the cat’s pink collar to her name, and his eyebrows turn up sadly. He makes a sound halfway between an “oh” and an “aw,” staring at the cat as she nuzzles his fingers, “Eret…”

The former king’s eyes sting, making him grateful for the sunglasses hiding his eyes. “Yeah.” After a pause, he says, “Niki came up with the name and everything, too. Said I seemed down and thought I could use a companion. It was really sweet of her.” And she had been right. Everything in Eret’s life changed after the Second Revolution. He’d lost his throne and his crown and had been thrust back into L’manburg’s ranks all in the span of a few minutes. He was glad to be back on his friends’ side (if he can call them friends still), but it’d left him feeling unstable and confused. Losing the companionship of his treasured flamingos had been the rotting cherry on top of everything. Mingo had created a constant in his life, and that was invaluable. He wasn’t sure he would ever be able to thank Niki enough.

There’s a pause in the conversation while Wilbur pets the cat and the two get acquainted. When it borders on being awkwardly long, Eret says, “So, what brought you here? I doubt you came to discuss the tragic story behind my cat.”

Wilbur looks up from Mingo and meets Eret’s eyes. “Ah, right. It’s…it’s about Fundy. And Philza.” A crease appears between his eyebrows, accompanied by a small frown. He fixes a stare to the ground in front of him. “It just that I- I don’t feel like I fit in my life anymore. Fundy is cross with me, constantly. I always say the exact wrong thing to him. And Philza, as amazing as he’s been this past month, I know he hasn’t forgiven me. I really…I really let him down. I did something unforgivable and then asked him to kill me. And I would’ve gone happily. That’s not exactly something a month of family bonding can repair.” His frown deepens as he finishes speaking, and guilt plays over his expression. He stopped petting Mingo at some point while he was talking, his hand frozen in a fist a few inches above her. She rubs her face against it like nothing is wrong, then trots off into the tent.

Eret sits in thoughtful silence for a long moment, absorbing Wilbur’s words and piecing together a response. “Trial and error,” he says at last.

Wilbur looks up at him again, and Eret notices some tears have left glistening tracks down the other man’s face. More threaten to spill over, collecting in his eyelashes. A second that feels fragile passes in silence. “What?” Wilbur asks.

“Trial and error. Like this house of mine. I’ve tried building it dozens of times now, but I keep messing up and it never feels like a place that’s meant for me. So, I take it down and I start again. And each time, I get a little closer to something I could live in and call home.”

Eret trails a hand by his side up and down the wreck of oak wood planks. When it comes to rest on his knee again, he says, “Talk to them, Wilbur . Talk to your son, talk to your father, and keep trying. You’ll keep messing up, and it’ll be okay. You just need to keep trying. You gave up for a while- you utterly checked out. Fundy has had an absent father and Phil had to watch the downfall of his son. You’re right, no amount of family bonding or apologies are going to fix that. But time and effort will. I think what they both need from you right now is a little more effort.”

For what must be the hundredth time in the past five minutes, the two lapse into silence. But this time, it doesn’t feel strained or awkward. Eret’s words have spilled a feeling of hope into the air. It replaces the frustration he felt earlier, making him eager to get back to working on his house.

After several silent seconds, a smile ghosts over Wilbur’s features. He gets up, straightening out his black jacket. The man walks over to Eret and holds out a hand, who looks up at him in surprise and confusion. “Want some help with your house?”

~

After spending the rest of the day helping Eret, Wilbur is utterly exhausted. But he feels strangely good. He’d turned to Eret because he had no one else to talk to, but now he’s really glad that he did. His words had given Wilbur an air of determination- and hope. When was the last time he’d felt hope? Actually, when was the last time he’d felt either of those things?

He stumbles up the steps to his home, ready to collapse in bed for the night. He expects a dark house (his son had taken after Philza’s early sleeping habits) but instead finds the kitchen lights on, casting a yellowish square of light on the stripped spruce log floor.

The strains of a conversation die in the air as he walks in and shuts the front door. Cautiously, Wilbur makes his way into the kitchen. Sat at the table are his dad and Fundy. They look tired, but relieved. Surprise sparking through his arms and chest leaves the brunette speechless for a moment. Then, he stammers out, “Did…did you wait up for me?”

The faintest flicker of anger flares in Philza’s eyes, just for a moment before they soften again. It reminds Wilbur of being scolded as a child for taking a practice fight with his little brother a bit too far. “No shit, kid. We knew you would be fine, but…well, we were worried.”

“I’m sorry.” There’s an unexpected weight to the words that startles both Philza and Fundy. Clearly, Wilbur is talking about more than just coming home late.

His dad tries to play it off.  “I- it’s okay, Wil. Let’s all just head to bed and- “

He’s cut off by a light scraping noise as Wilbur pulls out a chair and sits at the table with them. He’s done pussyfooting this. No more tiptoeing through conversations or worrying his dad with sleepless nights or reading more than he talks to his own son. Wilbur grabs their hands, one of theirs in either one of his. He needs them to understand, more than he’s ever needed anything before.

“No. I’m sorry. I never said sorry to you two. I really, really am, though. What I put you through these past months, it’s not okay. I’ve been a terrible father and a terrible son. I’ve been absent and awkward, and I wanted so bad for it to just fix itself but that’s not how these things work. I did horrible things to both of you and I can’t keep going on without properly acknowledging that. I am so, so sorry.” He squeezes their hands. There’s a familiar sting in his eyes, so he turns his gaze to the wooden tabletop. Don’t cry, he begs of his eyes. Not right now.

The silence is deafening. Seconds pass in what feels like a year.  When he finally can’t bear it anymore, Wilbur looks up at his family. He feels sick and relieved and guilty all at once when he sees the tears brimming their eyes. Briskly, Philza stands up, chair scraping rudely against the floor as he does.

The blonde man moves to stand in front of his son. Before Wilbur has time to register how terrified he is that he’s mucked things up further, his father is pulling him into a hug. He loses his grip on Fundy’s hand as he’s pulled up.

Philza grips him tightly, one hand holding his head. Wilbur’s heart soars and the tears break from his lashes. Waves of emotion crash through his chest and make every inch of his body feel heavy and light at the same time.

He grips his father tighter, absorbing the familiar smells. Pine trees and bread dough and the vaguest hint of smoke. It sends a pang through his chest, accompanied by nostalgia. Wilbur buries his face further into his father’s shoulder.  

“Wil…oh, Wil. No matter what happens, you’re my son.” 

Those words alone would be enough to make Wilbur break down completely if it were just them two in the room. But Fundy is still sitting at the kitchen table.

Fundy.

Suddenly desperate to see his son’s reaction, he breaks slightly from Philza, twisting in his father’s grip to look at the fox. Philza kisses his son’s head and gently lets go, taking a couple of steps back.

Fundy and Wilbur stare at one another for a moment. Wilbur swallows. It feels as though his whole body is being consumed by nerves and adrenaline. “I promise, I’m done floating through the days like some ghost of the man I was. I want to put in effort. I want to be a good dad to you, Fundy.”

There’s another beat of silence, then Fundy is out of his chair and practically throwing himself at Wilbur. In that moment, a weight comparable to that of all the world’s oceans lifts from his shoulders. His son’s arms feel like home and love.

Wilbur places his head neatly on top of the fox’s, gripping him as close as he can. Fundy’s shoulders shake and Wilbur’s heart breaks to know he caused his son so much pain. He rubs circles on Fundy’s back as he hugs him, just like he always would when he was a kid coming to Wilbur with a painful scrape or night terrors. And he knows, then, that Eret was right. It’ll all be okay, they’ll be okay.

‘

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[korra4321]

Epiphany (Gifts sequel)

Word Count:14.5K

Trigger warnings: Violence, strong language , yandere themes 

Teaser :Epiphany is a moment of sudden and great revelation or realization.

Fate really have it twisted way of bringing two broken souls together, the said souls share the copy image view of the world not only mutual understanding but bring out the best in his other half , understand one another with the simplest move , love unconditionally and care for each other like there is no one but them. Soulmate bond that unbroken, soulmate was a whole being divided by two , one soul in two separate bodies.

Korra found on him the companion that she was seeking all the time , someone who understands her no matter how massed up and fucked up she was , the later always understand her , someone who view the world just the same like he was seeing it through her own eyes, he was magical too and he brought a new purpose to her life , he saved her from the bottomless loneliness. Tom found on her everything literally, a savior, a companion, someone like him with extraordinary abilities, she showed him how special he was , cared for him like a human being that he was, he felt gratitude for her first , he wanted to give back to her and protect her that feeling slowly developed to a youthful liking that took an expected turn to become an endless obsession that growth worse day by day.

He called it love and soulmate decided by fate. She called it companionship of no more or less then best friend platonic love.

Korra laid down on her bed, no there bed now that her massed up besitie claimed it as theirs , he was taking a bath in the exact same water she just bathed into it.

She heard him humming a song that she always listen to when she was working and she let her mind roam for a second debating if he always did that in his time in the prison , she though that leaving him there will help him realize that she doesn't have romantic feeling toward him , the only emotions her heart hold for him was platonic one .

But unfortunately it did not help at all, it made him believe she was either :

A)giving him time out as a punishment of not telling her he was Lord Voldemort and not making her involved in the purge as her right for being his soulmate

B) transferring there relationship to the state of long distance one to taste his ability for it which he proved to be idealist one

Even direct method of communication like talking her feeling toward him to make it loud and clear made the latter believe she was denying her feeling and too afraid to let herself being loved and love someone , loving her soulmate, he claimed that she have Philophobia . He called himself her medicine that will cure her of that phobia.

She sighed making herself in the fetus position , as she deeply analyzed trying to see from when and where he started loving her and having that 'we are soulmate' delusion .

Usually adolescence start having crushes around fourteen years old the average age where puberty happen , the awkward stage of leaving the childhood and entering the mystery land of teenage years that will be the gate to adulthood the current state of which both of them where now , they are doomed to stay in it for evermore .

"Fucking horcruxes" Korra scowled her tone dripping loath for whoever had a hand in letting him know about it , she never felt the desire to rip one throat with her bare teeth or the desire to curse him down with all the unforgivable curses respectfully in sequence .

In her fetus position she froze down at the idea, at the train of thought and where it landed her. She was thinking just like him, the ill intention to cause harm and unmentionable thing to an innocent.

Maybe just maybe they were .... alike?

‘No...I am not the same as someone who torment ,kill and destroy pure people life .’ She buried her face in the pillow deeper , letting the soft cushion consume all of her face , needed to let it block her though

How dare she let herself to even think they were the same? Next thing she knew that she would believe that they were product of fate design, the two shards of the same entity... soulmates.

Whoever said that one mind can be it worse enemy is truly man of wisdom. Even if the said wisdom applies to her right now, it's a sword with two different blades, her ally and her foe.

She could use it as weapon if she played her cards right. She can be free in no time and she could run away from him if she pretended that his ' treatment ' is curing her of her blindness of the indisputable truth.

'and then when he see I view him as a soulmate, I will run away when he give me freedom, when he trust me blindly ' Her mind was being her ally right now , Lady luck was on her side , her lady hope persona may lost the battle but there is war left , there is fire left on her that didn't die .

The door of the bathroom slightly opened leaving a crack that let the steam escape and the scented candles with lavender to spread into the air. And his humming stopped.

"Korra dear? Is everything alright there?" His voice was worried with no other trace of emotion there, just filled with worry.

"Yes Tom, everything is right, did something happened?" She matched his voice.

The crack spread more allowing for his wet head to be seen, and that smile to be fully displayed on it glory ,"it just that I heard you saying, " he paused for a few seconds allowing himself to perfectly mimic her words like a passage of speech from president himself. "Fucking horcruxes" his smiled forsaken for a smirk . "Darling you can't ..have an intercourse of that type with a container ...but if you feel...." Korra who's face exploded with red had avoided eye contact with him and rushed to cut his sentence. "No! I..don't want that ..." He chuckled softly , like she made an inside joke . "I know you don't want it ....now ....you are just saving yourself up for our wedding" His eyes had hunger look into them as he slowly closed the door.

Leaving her a mess of red and heat, while he returned to his humming that followed by more tone of euphoric.

She really needed to get out of that place.

As a mocking from fate her eyes landed on the pillow form the living room, she didn't know why it was there but the writing on it mocked her

{HOME SWEET HOME}

It's like a butcher welcoming a livestock before ending them for good.

She stepped out of the bed, but remembered the masks, she looked at them.

Lord Voldemort persona was staring at her with unforgiving stare promising chaos to whoever breathed an insult directly or indirectly to her or him, to any and every no magical human to make them existent from the word of living.

Her eyes drafted slightly to the right.

Lady Hope is antonym of her counterpart, her eyes brought mercy and hope to the suffering survivors, a reminder of the light side that still exist.

Anyone in their right mind will see that they were the opposite, foes made to destroy one another. Light vs dark in their form of materialistic.

But not to him of course.

Tom Marvalo Riddle was soaking wet in the bathtub He couldn't help but to feel rush of adrenalin through his vines.

That smirk was still in his lips. The masks were even more proof of their love.

Lord Voldemort destroy the enemy while Lady Hope cure the falling of their side both mentally and physically like the ancient Yin and Yang, one can cease to exist without the other, they need each other to survive.

Why she was so confused and misguided by those muggles ? His teeth chatting and his jaw clinched. The rotten muggles made her filthy . How dare they firstly to drive her away from her world that rightfully belong to her by their nasty spawn of Satan that doesn't have the ghost of claim to magic that preserved only for pureblood no they stole magic from them no claiming to claim something is to have an ownership right for it ,secondly they made her live among them doing low job that barley cover the bills ?

In infuriating he ran his hands through his long hairlines, he recalled that she would return them to their original length just the same length she putted will he did what he always does, impressive her.

He breathed in more of that scented smell of lavender, he noted to himself that in the manor he bought for them and just them he will grow lavender in the garden and more lovely flowers so when she walk the pathway it always have a scent she liked.

He has millions and more scenarios of their eternal life together, he had one year of isolation to plan it and write it down on the diary, even living them in his slumber.

He heard the sound of a door opening and he was half expecting that she will be joining him, he embraced himself to feel her body heat against his and move his body to the side of the bathtub making space for her and he moved a finger and music began a pleasing song filled the atmosphere but the bathroom door was not the one who opened that the bedroom one .

Korra was on the hallway , it was still Halloween night she called hear children screaming with enjoyment "trick or treat", she looked at the window and saw youngsters wearing cosplays of their favorite characters even that one of them even wore a suit and claimed to be bodyguard for his sister that wore a simple regular custom resemble modern princess. she got an instant flashback at the sign of the two.

It was Tom first year Halloween with her and she wanted to give him as normal childhood as someone like him called. Blaz was waiting for them at the living room to get ready for the ancient act of trick and treat.

"Are you sure you want to be wearing suit? I don't mind it but it's your choice " he simply nods and flashed her a lovely smile. "Yes bestie, I am really sure also I read in a book that cliché is overrated so why not use something new?" The boy that too mature for his age said , Korra theorized that his suffering and tormenting that he faced in the orphanage led him to be this developed in his mind but they say that trauma build the character ,it's a sacrifice of innocent for the gain of knowledge.

Korra left him to change to her custom in her room . the boy mentally scolded, he never liked this 'Blaz' , but for her he will pretend that he tolerate him until he find the perfect method to get him to leave them alone .he looked at himself on the mirror .the reflection showed his dark hair gracing his childhood feathers and his dark eyes matched the occasion and the suit that he insist on wearing will give an effect on anyone to not talk down to him.

After couple of minutes Korra come back wearing regular clothes that was not addressing the holiday at all, he extended his hand to her like a young gentleman , korra though he was being in the character so she took his hand into hers and they wordlessly went downstairs to join Blaz . The man jumped to his feet from seeing that she was not dress up and he was wearing skeleton custom . "You...you didn't dress up?" Blaz voice filled with disappointment as his eyes traveled between his custom and her regular everyday clothes . She shrugged "I am going in as a background character they don't dress shiny like the protagonist and antagonist, just normal to blend in" she took a good look at his custom and an idea popped into her head ." I can be the previous you ... Living just before death" Tom hand on her squeeze and he bite his lips making them thin line, just the idea of losing her to death was unbearable , he hated how death means separation of loved one, in his orphanage days he was starved out of love and caring that he craved so frantically, just because he was different than others doesn't mean he didn't yearn for his basic human right of emotional containing. That made him attached to her as she was the sole survivor with him after the apocalypse.

"And Tom? let me guess a high lord of a previous lifetime?" Blaz voice may come as cheery for others but to him it's as irritating as sharp nails on a chalkboard. He just couldn't wait to get him out of the picture. It took Tom a maximum of five seconds to put his fake tolerance for Blaz to display. His vocal was so calm and soft as his dark eyes held warmth of the sun in a winter morning "You can say so , but in fact I am korra's bodyguard...she may say she's a background character for someone story but for me she’s the heroine in my book" his eyes captivated with real emotions of gratefulness as he continues with charming tone ." She's my savior" with a kiss on her hand he finished.

"Tom....that’s too much .... You are too much of a true gentleman now " Korra who can't remember the last time someone made positive remark on her maybe it was when she worked in the ministry when Jonathan Morgenstern an aurora made a mistake of practicing magic to let out a fire when he was camping during his vacation unaware of unwanted attention of a muggle who was hiking which led the wizard to ask the ministry to send an obliviter to fix his undone, he called her in a friendly comment a light giver due after obliviating the muggle she didn't forget to bring with her a light to help him start a bonfire. That nickname become her code name after the accident .

"No bestie I am telling the truth....is that a tear?" Indeed she had a silent tear on her eyelids , "yes, something went into my eyes I think it was an eyelash" she was not lying completely since one was on her eyes and she had a tear because of the impact pf his words on her , it was fate giving her a merciful look.

"Let me rub it out for you" before she can protest he reach out his hand that she knelt to his head level allowing him to get the stubbornly eyelash for her but instead of dismissing it with his hand the boy put it on his hand palm . "Bestie what are you doing?" Korra was concerned that he will practice magic Infront of Blaz. "It's a saying in a folklore that if you put an eyelash on your hand and made a wish it will become true , come one bestie make a wish for me"

The woman mumbled lowly out of Blaz earshot but in Tom's one "I wish that we will stay best friends forever " and then she bellowed. ----- When they walked from house to house that was decorated for the night of the mythical creatures, enjoying the peaceful night without any accident until one that nearly ruining the night for them had happened . They were walking to the last house of the night when the one responded to the door ball was an obese man with his double chin and obvious vines that was nearly everywhere and his smell was straight out of butcher as he smelled of livestock fat and tissues , his eyes was too inside of him that he had to widen them to get great view opened the door. "Trick or treat" Tom said as he felt the weight of his bag full of sweets from the night . The man that awfully reminded anyone looking at him of a pig grinned as he looked above and behind Tom shoulders to Korra, his hands around the glass bowl he was holding tightened while colors of deep red exploded on his face he licked his lips as saliva escaped his mouth . "Oh dear lord knows I don't mind trick ...private trick from her " his tone heavy with unmistakable lust as he made clear with his eyes what type of tricks he seek from her . Blaz didn't get the time to respond to the direct verbal sexual harassment when it happened.

The bowl in the human pig hands exploded candies falling like tiny rain of child dream on the small area between them ,shards of glass entering the man body piercing his skin do deep that it surprised Blaz with how deep the shards buried into the man that they disappeared in him like pins hanging on a jacket not a living body , but that didn't shock Blaz more than the fact that in nothing but a miracle when the bowl exploded a wind blowing from behind them protected them from the shards . The pigman face was stuck on shook as he shaking tried to take out the shards with his fat fingers but in pointless efforts he failed , then his eyes widened even more that it was semi cartoonist as his bloody hands went to the place his heart was and it looked like he was having a heart attack but in fast and extremely misery and just like a pig he made a final cry that literally sounded like the said animal and he dropped dead.

What happened after it was the classic of making sure that Tom was fine as the later took the opportunity to hug her and bury his face into her claiming to be shocked by the tragic and trauma death that happened before his innocent child eyes, as Blaz dialed the police and ambulance informing them of the accident ,Tom was glad that the hug give him the cover for that dark grin on his face . He was wearing the suit suitable for a bodyguard...savior his extraordinary abilities helped him to live as the role ...her savior and not just for one night for all their life together.

Korra was back to the present time with feeling of his arms around her torso and hot breath on her ears as he whispered" do you remember that night? That pig of a man ...?" The edge of his voice was merciless ,his arms stiffed but didn't feel like the force that will case a break more like borderline feeling of a snake closing itself around her waist in a light hug . "Now that I think about it his death was....easy , I should have tortured him more , by that time I didn't realize the disturbing truth of his words I thought it was just trying to make you do a trick without me , I got this feeling of heavy burn inside me and then you saw what happened, if that happened now... " Still he didn't press harder on her torso but his chin rested on her shoulder and she saw scarlet on his orbs , mad with rage at the mere thought of dead man. his eyes softened when he saw that she was looking at his reflection. "Sorry love for that " he let her go only to take her hand and led her to the bedroom where a scissor lied on the table waiting to be used , a faint glow on the edge told her it was magical enchanted just like everything else in the house .he sat on at the chair and she knew what he wanted , that damn hair.

She realized a sign if she wanted to gain his trust and escape to the ministry of magic she will have to play the role . ---- "I am never a chief but at least let's try it" He made for them a dish that she didn't bother to look at it but when he sat the plate to her with a wave of his hands she saw it was a simple parmesan chicken . "Bone Appetit" he said as they began their meal, Korra found it mystery how he was still having a appetite after ordering Nagini to eat the shop owner but again that was just a drop of the black sea of his mistakes that she wanted to fix, she refused to accept the fact that her bestie is now someone that obsessed with her and claim it as love , for a second she paused as she realize that it was love and she knew it but he have his way of showing it that made the line between friendship and romantic relationship to be questionable. She forced herself to eat not wanting to know what he will do if she didn't.

Being done eating he waved again but this time the dishes disappeared in favor of bottle of wine and two glasses. "A toast for our eternity together" he raised his glasses and she knew that she have to do her part of the tradition. "For our eternity" 'until I escape to the ministry ' and there was nothing but the sound of their glasses cracking .

---- They were laying on the bed with a book on her lap as she was reading and he was following making comments on how the characters were predictable and nothing new happen. As if he's complaining was a cue an owl dropped a letter to his lap. He led go of the hand that was holding his before flashing her an apologetic smile and opened the letter.

{Done} with no sender information at all.

Korra didn't remove her eyes away from the book "you are right they are so foreseeable" he kissed her head ,"I love when you admit I am right ....maybe that's will make you see how deeply I am willing to go for you , purging the wizarding society is just a tip of what I am capable of and how far I will go for you" his voice was one of those who have a sugar rush . "Muggles need us the same way we need them..."she firmly said ,he took a deep breath "we don't need them at all, they can't use magic to safe one of their loved one dying or even to simply left an object ....they drove you away from where you truthy belong " his tone hold grudges as if he was born for it . "I left because it became toxic with all the pureblood maniacs " he paused looking at her in disbelief. She took at as signal to continue " I mean I know a lot of muggle born who are brilliant with a lot of potential unlike some purebloods who have squib in their family " she grinned falling victorious . "The only reason for squib to happen is because a mudblood took the said squib , muggles are nothing but kelptomaniacs that need to be punished for the crime of taking what not belonging to them" that victory in her died at his reply, she knew that there is no point on keeping this conversation going. "Five" he said with a silky voice . In puzzling state of mind she looked at him . There is no need to ask as he understood her without talking . "Each single time you defend those low life of mudblood and muggles I will end five of them, the ratio will vary it can be five kids , five men, five elders , five women , a twin child and woman and two men , or to make the odd preferable five pregnant women so that bonus " He said that with a teasing amount of causality like he was reading a newspaper . "You can't do that....think about how Blaz will feel" a finger on her chin forced her to have eye contact with that flame of hell . "Don't you dare to say any male name around me .... especially Blaz he was the worst , really he need to be learn to mind his own business and he had absolutely no respect for personal space " he silenced himself to collect air in his lungs. "He was my secret keeper and you know what his death did , it was what made my existence return to the wizarding world " hint of regret was on her voice but she didn't take her eyes of his bluntly to keep that fact buried into his mind.

"You do realize that they have a shorter lifespan then us, why not choosing a wizard to be the secret keeper? “he was not complaining but did she really disliked to that level how toxic the situation of blood state was? This time she avoided eye contact with him "it's felt the only way to truthy have nothing left to come back to that society" What do they say about anyone who avoided eye contact when he in the middle of a conversation?, Clear sign of a lie . He smugly grinned at the conclusion that she had something that will always connect her to the that world. He just needed to find it, he had that ambition that he wanted no, eager to clarify the fog of mystery surrendering his soulmate past. "You know , lovely angel , you never told me about your time as a witch save being an obliviter I want to know facts like your magical state , what you did in Hogwarts ?, If you had any childhood friend or took solace in being friends with books?" He freed her chin of his finger to lean back to the head of the bed to observe every single move she makes. She felt a knot in her throat, her past was nothing, but song of loneliness played with melody of tragedy. She was a love child of misfortune and loss,

"At a very young age I learned that nothing good last forever "

Her very first memory is this, It was her seventh birthday with her parents they were celebrating it in the forest surrender by a lot of creatures, her father holding her to reach a tree branch where a small nest had bird that was too shy to go and see what the world have to offer, "daddy he is so shy , he won't take the worm from me" her tiny voice hold disappointment, her father slowly lowered her back to the ground fearing that a rush will harm her , "sweet one , it's too early for him to step out of his safety shell to the outside " he kissed his daughter head. Her mum was setting on a rug that they brought with them that on it their lunch and a simple cake for three , her skin glowed attractively in the sun light her brown hair gracefully freefall on her without any style to keep their beauty away. The little girl walked to her mother that embraced her so tightly as she whispered to her "Happy birthday" her father who had black hair and heterochromia eyes , one was grey the other hazel, he was watching the scene with butterflies on his stomach, how lucky he is to get both a beautiful wife and lovely daughter it was so contiguous euphoric like a scene a painted by an artist of what the first minutes in heaven like. The girl remembered a trick she can do but it required a baby animal such as a bunny or hare . "Mommy , daddy I am going to show you something really cool just wait for me" Her mother had a book in her lap and her father laid down looking at the clouds telling his wife the shapes they remind him off , her mother extracted her wand from her pocket. "Expecto Patronum" from her wand busted a silver ghostly runespoor, it's three head tall with pride and in that sunlight it give him a glow of grace . "I will protect you " it was awkward to hear her mom voice from the Patronus but she got used to it from the second time , Patronus are meant to be guardians even companions for the lonely souls, never she felt the intense feeling of her blood turning ice on her vines from the terror of the runespoor Infront of her , she found him comfortable and favorable to have around when her parents where working, call it a questionable choice of babysitter but the three head serpent was her only friend ,they were living on a shack in the forest it was not fancy neither in poor condition but perfect for the small family with no civilian only for a small town that was miles away what was it name? Little Hangleton.

It's a small town actually with nothing of interest, the family lived in peace away from the anything that was civilian, self-sustaining themselves form the little garden they have and a nearby river. They had jobs small one in the town enough to get them by and never to let them feel short hand and waiting from pay check to another . It's was all so peaceful and paradise like. It was too good to be truth, too good to be left without darkness tinting it .

Korra went deeper to that forest not lost due to the the patronus keeping a clever watch and map of the soul to its caster ,when she didn't only find a bunny but a wounded child around eight years old . "You don't look so good " she draw closer to him , now that she was closer she took a good look at him , curly platinum hair and strange purple eyes , albino?, And a gashes covering his body he was bleeding heavily. "I am on my way " again the patronus spook with that voice . "What happened to you?" Her curiosity was over the roof . "I...I was attacked by a wild creature I don't remember it's shape it was fast...so fast and brutal he left me to die as you see “the child spook with wary voice . "My mom is coming to help, my name is Korra" all what she can do is to speak to him to keep him awake. "Nice name for a nice child, mine is Godric, tell you what we are going to be friends , actually we already are "he give her a little smile as his lips managed to part. The girl eyes widened , "friends ?, Really ...I have no friends like living flesh and bone one" she didn't have any at all the town people didn't have any child as if they were so afraid to bring any to the world due to the economic crisis that was going on yet they give her parents looks she didn't understand and her looks of discomfort and pity but to finally have a friend it was an experience that she longed for , she read about it in books and always longed for someone to call a friend other than runespoor . "Korra dear , step aside I want to aid the child " her mom took out her wand and the tip of her wand touched the child body. In a blink of eye, a heartbeat ,the boy vanished , long gone his aurban locks and purple eyes , now standing on all four a creature of darkness and eyes of the devil , lava like eyes glowing with bleeding red , and his voice bottomless hole it must be what an vengeance will be like if it had a voice , his teeth so sharp it was surprise it didn't cut that long tongue . "I knew I will find a Huffman here ...not one but two my dark lord Grindelwald will be so pleased " he snicker , her mom come in front of her shielding her . "Go and tell your lord that he can make love to himself that all I care about " her wand never left her hand as she throws a hex at him , he judge with a jump upwards , it was thing of wonder how a being of that mass is able to move with such agility and in a blink of eye landed behind them , the patronus sprinted attacking at the same time that her mother made a protection charm to her daughter not caring for her safety , the creature went invisible the same minute the patronus hit him and dismissing into thin air .

"We are friends korra just you and your mommy come with me to the dark lord" he mocked ,voice coming from everywhere and nowhere . "Think about what your place will be with my Lord , your daughter too, you are wasting away all your potential and abilities here " a shift in the branch of nearby tree made her mother send a hex at it . The jinx hit the tree with but no monster was on it . It was right next to her child, who was shaking . 'f....friend .monster. They do this...trying to kidnapped their friend to a bad guy....I don't want that ' Her daughter magic core what in chaos and the aura around it growing viciously , repealing against the protection charm , creating an orb of gray cocoon . Her mother was torn between keeping her daughter save and calming her and defeating the monster. The creature open his mouth so wide but it was not the teeth to be terrified off, it's spitted a texture liquid and sticky it rained from his mouth like riddle of bullets at them , but before it can touch any one of them it froze . His body abruptly vibrated brutally , and like a fireworks it explode . Korra magic murdered him. Her mother was caught off guard, her daughter was more powerful then she thought she need to learn to stabilize that magic before wrong hand find her . She rushed to her hugging her , " I am so sorry you had to witness that, so sorry for what happened , you are alright right ?" She briefly scanned her daughter, wide teary eyes, and shock on her face. "Mom is that what friend do..." It was not a question, a broken statement. "No.....they do this " the monster voice raged again with a tone that will hunt her for the rest of her life . Her mom eyes froze when she realized what the creature actually was .... It was ultio. Ultio was the worst ever, it should never ever be killed, once he is dead, he literally brings his murderer down with him to the grave. There was only one way to survive. "I love you " she kissed her daughter check and hugged her so tightly shielding her from what was happening . She heard to sound of blood spilled and tissues of body ripped off as the creature killed her mom and was gone with her. One Huffman was gone , another shocked to the core . Her mother sacrifice made the girl to be invincible and untouched by any dark force.

Her father grows worried from not seeing anyone return as he felt heavy silence, even the birds were silent, he just woke up from a nap. "Love, Korra??" The cake and food were left untouched, again no answer. He felt string leading him forward to the deeper part of the forest. The deeper he got the more the lack of sound become ominous. Until he saw the scenery.

A bony body hugging a frozen bloody living one , and the hair covering the girl become red with blood . He lost it. ----- "Daddy I am so sorry...I wanted to show you and me....why aren’t you looking at me?" Her father was gone in his mentally and it had been days since that cursed day, be barley ate , slept that was when he was home , when he was not he drowned himself in work ,locked the house on his daughter who desperately needed someone to calm her from all the mental attacks she have , there was no runespoor anymore to keep her company, no friend , not a soul but her and his dad who is mentally dead ,refusing to accept it , part of him died with his wife he couldn't bear to look at his daughter she was the spilling image of his late wife, not acknowledge her , like she died with her mother. For four years she didn't hear her father voice at all, just crying and ugly whining. She never spoke during that four years at all , so when an owl appeared dropping a letter of acceptance to Hogwarts ,like a robot her father moved his eyes hallow and took her to get her things for the school . --- Now they were at the train express , families where hugging their children goodbye promising to exchange letters , her father gaze to the unseen as he just waved goodbye. She didn't bother to wave back at all.

"Salvatore ,Korra Salvatore" the sorting hit said her name , she walked toward it ,not caring which house she will be into , the hat was putted on her head . "You are unique one here, not many like you , I can name very few who share the same magical core like you ...I see intelligence and bookworm Ravenclaw will be great for you... But you are loyal and love fair play ...it's equal the traits of the two houses on you hmm it's difficult for you ...is that a trace of .... oh, my let it be ... Hufflepuff!" The said house clapped and giving her a warm welcome , she didn't feel a string even when curious eyes looked at her wondering what the sorting hat was going to say as he cut himself off before announcing her house . Time passes and she never gained any friend , she didn't want another Godric she wanted her mother back she wanted her father back from the dead , it's like she become orphan losing them both . Soon even her house learned to leave her alone she was shut down of the world it's all black and grey no white that white left along with runespoor that patronus friend , she never spoke a word unless it's absolutely necessary and to cast a spell other time they thought that she was mute , but as more news come by about the dark lord and people more and more terrified, her sleep had a lot of nightmare surrounding by one word Grindelwald, what was that wizard and why he wanted her and her mother so badly ?, It's definitely have to be about her family from her mother side. In one evening her mother made her promise that she will never ever tell anyone she was Huffman rather than she was a Salvatore from her father side , she didn't know why but she made that promise without asking . Her father had no family at all, he was orphan didn't have a foster family. Her mother never told her about her family or even if she has one . Still the mystery around that Grindelwald and her family hunted her , she wanted answer and a book in the restricted section will contain the answer. But all what she had to do is to one of the perfect students to be able to get access there. So becoming teacher pet and bookworm she was her approach .around the time that her pairs where getting hormonal she was ignoring all the looks of admiration that she got from boys , she felt gross by it , no one will deny that she was beautiful .she never let herself feel the need to have a friend let alone lover .was she asexual aromatic? She didn't care at all to leave her heart open to anyone . she found solace in the darkness , in the middle of the night one day she realized she was nyctophile , that was when a teacher asked randomly if a student preferred light or darkness more if they preferred sun time or moon time since that cursed day of her mother untimely passing and she avoided everything that reminded her of it , even light .she felt her light wither fading more into a grey one .

"Listen today lesson is about casting a Patronus " she temporary froze as if she was stunned by stupefy, the others didn't give her a mind . "To conjure it you have to think of a memory that make you happy , feel you with joy " she felt sick on her stomach .

"Good job Felix of Slytherin. Your Patronus is a stage that quite amazing...Miss Salvatore you are next " Korra knew what will happen before hand , she rise her wound looking at her wand tip and said the spell, nothing at all not even a spark or pity excuse of smoke. "Thing of a happy memories dear " then she doesn't recall what happened but when she come by her class was terrified and she was quickly dismissed of the class.

----- It's he fourteen birthday, she was setting with a teacher in her office. "I am so sorry for your loss dear , you must have been so close to him that his loss affected your magic that day" she felt her teacher words of condolences . When she got that letter that day she didn't feel anything negative more like relief that her father joined her mother , at least he was happy there and content . Not her , she never smiled at all , she looked to be more suitable to be Lady of darkness then light .

"......" "I understand your grief I am here for you " "He was dead long time ago" her tone was colder and lack the care. She left her teacher stunned as she exists the room.

Korra was not completely unaware of her surrounding she just knew the elephant in the room when it comes to wizarding society was always blood state . She was half blood , she didn't know about her mother blood state if she was pure or not , but it was unfair that a teacher will be extra careful marking muggle born and careless when marking pure blood, and the bullying was so unbearable for those muggle born , from calling them mudblood to physical beating . It was unjustified at all, it had to be stopped no one was doing anything like it was the norm , even when a first year was being cornered by a pack of fourth years . It's the harsh reality of that world, she told herself that she will try to make them say what they were doing was wrong but the only way for it was if she had a high position in the ministry of magic.

On her sixteen birthday she found the answer, the restricted section illuminated by her wand the light casted shadows in her face among with the darkness of the night made the scene to be out of a mystery movie , the book of about every magical family that existed. 'H for Huffman ' she found her family from her mother side . 'Huffman have a long and interested origin , they began in the early dawn of the magical history ,legend says this that a Huffman witch found an injured animal(tale varies about the animal type some says it's a dove , dire wolf, phoenix, cat or another animal )  on the blink of death ,no passerby spare the dying animal any glance , the Huffman witch who had heart of gold took the animal in and spend countless of night nursing it back to health in the expense of her what little of supply she had and time , once the animal is back healthy , the unexpected happened , it's turned out to be an divine being. "Congrats dear witch , you are the only one who passed the test" the holy creature said his voice was so captivating and delightful. The witch was catch up by the creature ethereal beauty and light . "You and your entire bloodline will be blessed , you will have the full package, beauty , wealth , talents, abilities and luck, I have been testing witch community to see who will earn my blessing" the witch didn't approve or disapprove she tough that she died nursing the creature and this was her going through the afterlife ,but a light touch on her check told her it was real ."thanks but I was doing the right thing ", the angelic beamed. "It's a gift ,pure lady ". Korra couldn't finish reading the rest of the tale . She just closed it , tears on her eyes and onerous in her stomach. Her mother died because of a legend , and she knew that Grindelwald won't rest until he get a Huffman to join him but why he couldn't get another one or went on a hot pursue for them earlier ? If her bloodline was that of a jewel for a crown, why no one mentioned them earlier? What she believes will answer her questions have risen more questions than satisfied her. She closed the book and returned to her dorm.

The next morning she found a ray of hope when she heard that Grindelwald was captured and for the first time since more than half her life she smiled and the words that lift her lips were one of kind . "Fuck you Grindelwald" and a sea of shocked wizards and witches looked at her . ----- When she graduated from Hogwarts she got a lot of work offers from everyone who had a high position in the society , the thing is she never learned how to use that 'blessed' side since her mother didn't tell her how to use it , the only thing that was default was the looks . She didn't care about wealth since she was not one to spend it on trivia things. The only job she accepted was the obliviter position in the ministry of magic , she became obliviter for the hope to be promoted to higher position that will let her voice be heard about the racism unethical practice . It's funny to be memory wiper when you are yourself hunted and broken by your past . But as time process by and more years flew by that hope died on her , it transformer into dark void in the black hole of herself, they didn't care , they accepted the fact that it's written on stone , you see when generation rise a generation it's rise them on the previous learning that they got from the generation who risen them and the generation that is being risen will sink in the learning in like a sponge in its mindset and being risen to care more about blood state then potential is one of those things. So it was no surprise when she quit her job and moved into muggle world .

She never realized just how lonely she was until one day when it was December and numerous people pass by congratulating each other for the upcoming Christmas , a child walked to her being so full of the spirit and congrats her for it . "Lady, I hope you have a Joyful Christmas with your family and friends" Friends....she had none she couldn't even conjure the spell that heavy emphasis on happy memories. Friends were not for her , ' they either turn out to be server of the dark or one that prejudge so much ...they are risen like this ......risen wait ... Why not adopt one and mold him into a friend that is what I seek for , what I lost, who accept me for being who I am ?' It was the only option she had , all the others was unfavorable as the old saying say beggars can't be choosers. Desperate time lead to desperate methods and outcomes. Before she knew she was standing in front gates of wool's orphanage.

"And that lead us to where we are now, bestie " she dropped the last word like a spokesperson dropping the mic after victorious speech.

The dark lord was in utopia , it just couldn't get any better, every single peace for the puzzle fall together creating the perfect picture, fate really outdone herself in this love story it’s a masterpiece , he was broken by his past just like her ,he saw how the society was toxic ,they were half-bloods her family from her mother side was pure blood descended from the origin of Helga Hufflepuff  his from mother side rooted from Salazar Slytherin , both of their fathers were unfortunately muggles , he will forgive fate for making them muggle , also they come from the same village, what a wonderful gift to have two decedent from two out of four now dead houses to be soulmates? it must be that their ancestors were one too, and that the great Salazar went mad when a muggle tried to take his other half away from him, it all fit perfectly fine, she was expert in advanced level of magic just like him , safe that she is so shy to show it off.

Korra knew from how she found his arms around her waist and his lips on her that his obsession have grown worse , she told him her entire background to give him window on herself a chance to let him see that she’s beginning to heal and see him as what he saw her, a step to her freedom.

so, when his kisses become more demanding and hungrier, she gives in.

----

its bright afternoon when his hand sneaked like spider legs from her back to rest at her shoulders and he printed a kiss on her cheeks before saying in nobbling words "love its time" she nearly dropped her calm facade, time for what? there weeding or to do the traditional purposing to her?, only one way to find out.

"what is it time for? Beloved one" she forced the words out of her lips, its worse than the fresh memory of that creature and its acid rain.

"to move to our new home" she looked at him like he was having a second face behind him , he adored every single expression she was making except the painful one , a pure lightness like her way not allowed to have a painful look, it's ruin that perfection on her esthetic face , he careless toyed with a hair lock , speaking about expression he was lately wondering about the type of faces she will be making from the gift he got for her. "But our belongings, we can't leave them" ‘oh sweet angel you really are worried about muggles devices  aren't you.’ "I took good care of them " As they existed the place Korra with their luggage that was magical transformed to their new home , he just had to be extra dramatic and burn the house down, he smiled as he cut down the last string that pinned her to the muggle world, there was truthy no turning back now, not when the orphanage that they crossed by was with ear tearing screams of agony. -------- The marble floor felt pleasing against her bare feet , in other life she showing more awe for that manor or mansion that was her new home ,every single detail was phenomenal , what is it with dark lord ,heir of Slytherin and incredible taste? , It's like she was in heaven. Heaven..... No heaven was worth the price of one freedom and free will.

"I told you I can give you the world and more , here it is, just name the thing and in a snap of a finger it's yours" he purred seductively. She had to remind herself to earn his trust to get a chance of that sweet freedom . She run her finger to the outline of his sharp jawline and stood up on we toes the same way he was kneeling to her level , arms around her waist to give her access to his ear . "I already have everything I want " her whisper send shiver to his spine and goosebumps to his skin . "Precious one , you don't have the tinniest idea of what you are doing to me now " his dark eyes landed in hers as his thumb found her lips gently running to her upper one . --- As she took a bath , it was out of blue , a lightbulb opened in her mind and then Epiphany happened , her heart nearly stopped when a sense of revelation washed on her .

He needed her more than air , his soulmate She needed him her one true friend , obsessed and all but he understood her at the bottom of his heart. Messed up relationship but fate granted her that wish. They were part of each other that forever intertwined, tangled and become one.

Speaking about fate she wanted to know why her out of everyone had to be his....

A knock on the bathroom door made her flinch , the level of the water that was crowned with petals of rare flowers rose higher then it's container level. "My lady I am so sorry to disturb you in your  time of showring but he told me he have present for you " she was glad it was not Tom voice rather a house elf one ,if her memory serves her right she will safely recall the name of Delphine for the voice owner . "It's alright Delphine thanks for telling me that" she knew that he send her to send curiosity in her to see him and know what is the present was, sneaky one isn't he, she got dressed he made sure that all of her wardrobe had luxuries clothes from every item manmade ,they had to be highest of the high end or else in his eyes it will not do her right, his wardrobe is not of a differ from hers , she settled for a simple yellow summer dress and a high socks to cover her knees , she will never wear anything short when he is in her radar.

"Precious one, you don't have the tinniest idea of what you are doing to me now "

his voice sink on her, she will never wear any short that exposes her skin, not that she was a fan of short clothes to begin with.

the marble floor welcomed her feet as the house elf led her to the garden, more accuracy one of the gardens. The ridiculous size of the land was as if it was a small country of its own and here is, he the man of the question standing and giving her a bow before claiming her hand and planting a kiss on it.

"I missed you" 

"I was in the bath for twenty minutes, Riddle" his lips twisted.

"lovely angel, you don't have to remind me of the agonistic amount I was not around you" there is a lock for doors for a reason and it’s to keep the lovesick away.

she saw a box, its green color had yellow ribbons on its surface cycling it like a snake, even the house elf can tell why he chose those colors. His thumb flirt with her hand as he rubs on them, liking her body heat.

"I love the feeling of our skin together its feels right" and she longed to be contained but not like that, it’s wrong on all the right places, right on the wrong reasons.

"I am here for the present, curiosity is killing me" god by the time she escapes she will have a lifetime to spend on therapist and that therapist will need another one for himself after every session with her.

he give her a worried glance and his tone heavy with concern "my one, don't you say or suggest something like that ever again, I can’t live with the idea of losing you " she was not imagining the wet tear on his eyes , out of habit she put her hand wiping it out, out of nature he take that hand press it on his cheek before leading it to his lips and kissing it. with his extended long arm he retrieve the box, when she put distance between them he gesture for her to open it , and when she does she is captured by the present beauty.

Salazar Slytherin locket had never shined so brightly like it did in that light "you like it don't you?" her eyes had been captured by the locket and he took his sweet time glancing at every detail of her face, "its mesmerizing"

"just like you" lord have mercy, smooth one she will give him that

"turn around" he ordered.

she obeyed and his long thin fingers skillfully opened the lock and he putted it on her, it felt so right and marvelous.

"I have another present for you".

----

Azkaban eerie atmosphere screamed death and doom, it was home for him, forced to call it home after spending more than decade in it he felt strange link to it ,Grinderwarld face has aged but his feathers was still identifiable as what he was. A dark lord.

memories of his region of terror hang beyond his inner mind, his goals of making wizards and witches a superior to muggles as if it supposed to be, his only key to make that noble dream to come true lay no other than Huffman's ,this unique and sacred bloodline have unimaginable powers that no warlock or the darkest wizards could even dream off, but the dispute pose within that they are cleverly vanished from the history like they were a myth, a fragment of one imagination or even made up legend of a story to be told in a lazy winter night to children.

when he finally discovered how they managed to remain under the radar he wanted to slap the back of his head in shame, a secret keeper that pass before death the secret of the bloodline existence to another secret keeper ,foxy way to disappear but it’s not safe from the short stick of the said secret keeper untimely death, this is how they returned to existence, all what left was to find only one of them to join him, he place off lots of his followers to different places in hope to catch a wind of one of them, the more time it took the deeper his desire turned deadly , forget deathly hollows ,Huffman were the real deal, soon his fascination turned into obsession ,its forbid him from resting until he got one Huffman into his army , no it didn't matter the age , gender or blood state of the said Huffman.

He have two different aims to fulfill , firstly to get Lady Macy Galen (Korra mom) as his wife and queen, secondly to make wizards superior, ever since he met her and all what he could think off was her, his time with her as her fellow student of Beauxbatons academy of magic and they could get a future that will be envied by others, all was good until she fall in love with that muggle , he went basilisk and nearly killed him if it was not for his best friend Dumboldore stopping him, Dumboldore who is now six feet under the dirt and dead ,just like Macy .

he felt a stub of pain in his chest at that though, he waited and longed for death to get him save out of this world to her, she will always hate what he become , cant she see it was all for her?, he become dark lord to get her to notice him, why did a muggle stole her from him, he will never forget his elation when he discovered she was a Huffman ,universe love to throw every single twist at him.

he heard two footsteps walking toward his cell, one was so light like bunny, the other was balanced like a model on runaway ,the two walked in symphony that if he didn't gain acute hearing from complete solitude he will mistake them as one. He felt a wave of magic consuming all of his sense and then when he come by he found himself pined to the wall of his cell with chains, Lord Voldemort himself was honoring him with his visit and he had a women with him ,two dark lords in the same cell and a light being trapped with them.

Grindelwald looked at the women and he froze, "Ma. Mancy you are alive?" he visited her grave even digger it himself and he felt the corpse, she was truly gone, that leave one possibility. "you are her daughter" he jabbered, "Huffman, blood and soul and everything in between " the falling dark lord cooed, not believing that his dream walked to him literally. "yes she is , and keep that dirty toughs to yourself or else you want to test crucia on you " never Grinderwarld felt that the other was using legilimency  on him, he didn't even make eye contact at him or felt him invading his mind, he was as good as the rumors had him to be.

"on what honor you two are visiting me for?" 

it was kora who spoke "answers ", he noticed that Voldemort had his hands on her waist a clear sign of relationship and saying that she was his ,he couldn’t help but to imagine him in the other position and the daughter as her mother, it will be flawless world to make that imagination see the light , Voldemort growled and then there was nothing but the feeling of his bones turning dust through unmistakable penalty of the crime of imagination, he was being cruciaed .

he didn't know the duration of it but when it was over he found himself on the cold floor and panting like a thirsty dog, “hope that enough to make you cooperative " Voldemort voice white noise compare to the main attraction of the Huffman.

"Tom , the sooner that I ask the questions the sooner that we get out of here , it’s depressing to be here" her tone was so sweet he wanted to hear every day, if only she was Mancy,"as you wish love , I don't have a string of like in my heart for a lich like him" the gentle manner that he was speaking to her was of one of those movies about purest form of love.

"firstly, why starting the entire regain and why my bloodline of every other, I know of the powers but still get a life "

"my life ended with your mother death, I tried to commit suicide on her grave holding her corpse, but the auroras found me and now I am here “she was stunned by his answer.

"didn't anyone tell you that you are creepy obsessive lovesick specie? “he chuckled, her mother told him that a lot, but he was being her soulmate and where is the crime to love your soulmate?

"darling, do you mean me?" Voldemort asked not being sure if she was speaking to him or the falling.

"no , Tom you are my soulmate “she had to fight off the urge to choke herself , he was her bestie not lover.it had magic on him as he kissed her lips quickly .Grindelwald smirked "you don't know about the rest of the story of your bloodline do you?", a sense of dread fall on her heart , his tone had no good news on it ,he took the silence as his que to answer, “the brighter your light shine, the darker your shadow become, your bloodline have a quirk that no one will wish for on their worst enemies , to attract darkness to you , to make dark lords desire only you, yes ..to have a soulmate of darkness obsessively over you "

there is it, that cursed word that doomed her from the dawn of time, the word that awaken the devil himself that was Tom Marvalo Riddle,the delusion that in a twist of fate become truth , become her reality.

"even you know that me and her are soulmate its must to be one of kind bond that others envy us for" Tom arms caged her waist even more , "but still I can’t alter my mind of your fate " Grindelwald felt confused by Voldemort words.

before Tom could do the signature move himself korra pointed a finger at the gray-haired dark lord, infamous green light brushed from her finger illuminating the room with deadly green.

one dark lord was dead, the other having his body pressed against hers

----

"why are we in the chamber of secrets" she asked feeling a sense of raw confusion, “love , to meet the legacy that Salazar himself left as a prove that he will always love Helga at the extend of passing it to all the generation"

"a chamber that its only accessible through girls’ toilets, pervert" he laughed "I love that sense of humor of yours "

he hissed in parseltongue and the basilsilk merged in, with his eyes closed, “that it’s the legacy, touch it dear, its smooth right? but it’s no match to your skin" he flirted 

indeed it was smooth and left pleasing feeling in her when she touched it ,but her mind was occupied by what she did to Grinderwarld, she didn't know what she was doing it’s like her body took matter into itself and acted up, she didn't know if it was part of the powers or not ,she had not felt that feeling of raw power before its felt so natural and deep within her soul , buries and left unattended until that moments its awaken itself .

 music fall on her hearing and Tom bowed to her like a gentleman and then they danced there ,she had to act the part , after all there weeding is months from now and her only chance of escaping is the tradition of the groom leaving the bride for 24 hours that due there weeding, until then she will act , act , act until then.....

"he made the basilisk to be protector of her bloodline against mudbloods "his voice will be great for narrating any story, engaging anyone to it ,he span her and when her wrist found his , something magical happened .it come like streams of raw cosmic energy , ancient language that manifested itself within and settled there , a feeling of liquid ink of the stars themselves being written on their waists , when it was done its left words that was solid truth.

I can’t live without you

he hummed that song in relish and a long finger touched the words on her waist, it was so ghostly that his finger can be a breeze of air in a summer night ,she saw her counterpart on his waist the exact same words that can summarize there entire being.

-----

the manor felt oddly like something changed within it that matched her change , when they returned there were as always bowing death eaters to them and sentences of compliments as if both of them were a personified version of an answered prayer , till this day she couldn't get used to it , she found appreciation that he was born for the spotlight and she was born to shy away from it .

so, she failed to notice a follower mumbling to him words of approval of a delivery.

"why are we heading down?" she had never been to this part of the manor before in matter of fact she hasn’t seen all of it.

"It had failed to my attention that there is something I turned blind eye on and its should be done long time ago but you know ,my angel, that I was busy with a lot of important business to give that thing its attention" he bubbled hands holding her , leave it to him to give a speech that indirectly answer her. he loved to hear his voice, didn't he?

the door opened and what lies behind that closed door should stay behind it.

Tom riddle was being bonded by unseen robes to his rusty chair, it was not her Tom that she knew , it was the forty something version of him , what he will look like if he didn't do that deed ,if he was remind mortal and aged gracefully, his muggle father held there and completely helpless.

"why is he here?" it’s the only thing in her mind that buzzed louder then thunder.

"you mean dear, why is he still alive till now? don’t worry he won’t be" the senior made a gagging sound in response to his son assertion.

 "ohh does my fool father have anything to say?, what a low life that carry made blood in his vines , a beetle that only purpose in life is to be lab genie for the wizards to test new research on" he paused for a minute to inhale a breath .

"you left my mother knowing that you are unworthy of her, she was larger than life and you were lower than the dirt" the senior again made a gag sound.

"Tom can you ungag him I want to know what he will say" she didn't care what the other will hay but she knew that her Tom will never stop talking if it was about his loathing for his father his grudge for him was undying , just like his obsession with her.

"as you wish, soulmate" with a lazy wave of his middle finger to his father, he could talk now, and the very first words were....

"Fuck you son" 

what a classic, its run on the family, touché.

the junior giggled, " I am not interested on you, only in your bloodlust death, actually it’s her who should I fuck"

one thing that both of she and her father had in common, both had disgust look on them, she was glad that his attention was on his offspring and the later was glaring daggers at him to notice her greenish skin.

"now now don't you dare to get any idea of yourself in my position, you mud scam" the junior harshly said ,jealousy of something that never happened burning him, just when she tough that his condition couldn't  get any worse.

"I will never think of a lady of the street like her in that way, I , who have the blood of Riddle in my vine , the heir to all ...ohhhhhh" his scream of agony nearly tore down his throat  and korra found herself again in that rotten cell in Azkaban and the dead dark lord Grinderwarld dead eyes looking at her , empty with no light, he was in the afterlife now, but Crucio curse had one thing that its due to the miserable receiver, they cry sound exactly the same, that why in her mind both screams of Grinderwarld and Tom senior merge as one.

the junior sound as he stopped the curse brought her back to the present, "I am the hier of slytherine , blood of ancient pure blood run to my vine with magic you cannot imagine should end you, for this crimes, being mudblood , daring to think of marking my soulmate as yours and finally abounded my dear mother who died of a broken heart , you were never the man to stay there by her side when she needed you the most"

korra looked at the senior ,she was astonished to see the face two halves now, one for the for his father, the other for hers, she saw the similarities , both of them were never there for them leaving them to the dark , to suffer burdens that crashed them, there innocent is gone.

she felt wave of void consuming her, "kill him, he is waste of space " she was hissing, the senior looked at her as if she was the bogyman of his nightmare, Grim the ripper come for his soul.

"love!! you are truthy amazing aren't you, the reason why I remembered him was when I visited my mother grave that day and your too" 

that glorious green light showed up and her father died again.

-----

its white and wonderful, her dream was miracle of light, pure in it natural form, if it not for that old man of infamous long beard and half-moon shaped glasses. They stared at each other for a very long time before he began.

"Korra Huffman or Lady Hope, I am quite disappointed in you" no hello?

"why?"

"you are literally the only one who could stop him, the prophecy was fraud to get you some time to act and be Lady Hope, he only answers to you, his soulmate" 

"I am traying to bid my chance, but it is getting worse, he even threatened to kill five muggles each time I defend them" at her answer Dumboldore shrugged.

"it’s for the greater good, there death among Harry and Neville just like your mom"

time froze in that dream if that possible and so her mind, did he just....

"you are the one behind the certain, the one who send Ultio, but why"

Dumboldore began his speech and his task of explaining his deed.

"you believe in the butterfly effect don't you?, I know about your bloodline, I know that my Grinderwarld only weakness was your mother, his soulmate ,he only cared about her, I know about the quirk of your bloodline so I did that , I killed her by sending that Ultio, I know that your magic will act up killing him and triggering it all, then when she sacrificed herself Grinderwarld died with her so he tried to be physically dead to join her , and her death send your father to the state of numbness which made you what you are today so you could stop him, stop Voldemort make him see that killing muggles is wrong"

she shut down.

"YOU RUINED MY LIFE, DISTROYED ME WITH NO REPAIR, MADE MY LIFE LIVING HELL, MY PAST IS KILLING ME, MY PRESENT IS UNCHANGING, MY FUTURE IS DARK, ALLL FOR WHAT?"

Dumoldore didn't flich at her breakdown, he softly answered with voice clam and solid with no doubt even a hint of it.

"it’s for the greater good"

her mind showed her the alternative of the light lord action "if only you didn't do it I will never met him and he will never believe that we are soulmate, he will never be obsessed with me"

"oh dear child of light, it’s true, you are soulmates , there is no avoiding it , even if I didn't do what I did, he will still find you , still get you, even if he burned down the world to claim you from its ashes , there is no running from it, never"

"you are crazy you are just as dark as him, are you truthy in the light side?"

"yes, I died as I lived..."

"completely mad man"

"there was only one way to stop him, but you didn't take it that what disappoint me "

she woke up with cold sweat on her and her heartbeat so loud in her ears but it was nothing compared to her nightmare ,she found Riddle legs closing around her legs and his arms caging her torso ,like the symbol of his house he was embracing her in a snake like manner needing her body heat but it was more than the heat , she was in top of him so she felt it ,his heart beat matched hers in it racing he was still sleeping and he had heavy blush on him  , she looked at him and his face was peaceful like he was light lord not the most darkest of them all  if she didn't know she will be taken back by that face but again even the devil was once an angel, now cold blooded murderer, and so is  Dumbledore.

she saw her waists and that words on them, in that state of mind all what she saw was the word (out)  she really needed to get her nightmare out of her mind , so it’s no surprise when her nails scratch the word out .

again, and again, stronger with each turn.

'get out, get out, get out'

that nightmare is a new demon on her collection among with the epiphany of everything that had happened to her.

Where there is truly light side and dark side? she belonged to none, the light side forsaken her after its destroyed her, leaving her to be claimed by the dark side, sacrificing her like a lamb.

she smirked; she was going to show them wrath of the lamb.

her blood fall on his shirt.

-----

she was at the library with a book titled (all about soulmates) by a bitch of a witch that she didn't care about, she was now at the section of signs of a soulmate. ten ill signs.

1. You just know it.

'nope, but everyone said it'

2. They're your best friend.

' unfortunately, yes'

3. You feel a sense of calm when around them.

'before the storm, yes, I did feel calm around him when they lived at her house of the muggle world, now I still do because I am allergic to death eaters' 

4. You have extreme empathy for them.

'it’s every Hufflepuff thing, it’s my thing to be empathic'

5. You respect each other.

'it’s true we do respect each other'

6. You balance each other out.

'he is the dark, I am the light'

7. You share the same life goals.

'to get rid of toxicity'

8. You challenge each other.

'Lord Voldemort and Lady Hope' 

9. You can totally be yourself.

'yes, yes'

10. You fight for the relationship.

'w.....no comment'

why was she reading it? to feed the image that she was believing and feeling the bond, he was having a nosebleed there while pretending to read another book.

----

she was at the garden during that dreadful and 24 hours of being without  him , yes she was completely without him for the very first time in forever, he left her to attend the last bit of touches before there weeding ,she was with both Regulus and Snape acting like her bodyguards.

Regulus was called back to do a final check on a package, that left her alone with Snape, he had that aura of hate around him and dead inside more and more.

so, it was not the wind that spat and snapped.

" die, die, die "

the dagger that he was hiding in his robes rose shiny silver dry  and went down red and wet with her blood, she barley saw the light reflection and managed to judge nearly unscratched safe for a  wound in her arms  ,how does a tiny dagger cause sharp burning pain?.

"why you are alive when Lily is dead, I will make him feel what I felt when he killed her" he snapped voice echoing in the open space , he rise that wet dagger again but this time she was ready her survival instinct taken over her blocking everything ....even the stunting jinx that Regulus send to Snape.

"my lady I am so sorry let me check the wound " when both looked at it, it was healed not even a scar left.

that's the second sign of the said powers.

Regulus didn't question it , he just rose his wand and cast the lavation spell lifting up the body , when they walked back korra knew that her window of opportunity is gone , if she run now he will kill every single muggle till she return to him or find her  , burn villages down, do unspeakable things to people, but there was another chance it was named Regulus Black. 

------

she was wearing the wedding dress, she requested no help in getting ready she didn't want anyone to see her nearly breaking down, Snape died in a horrifical and what left of his body was giving to werewolves to feast on, but she didn't feel sympathy for him. he got what he deserved, Regulus Black was immediately having the title of Tom right hand, so he was using it right now, to give her personally one last present before the weeding.

"you know that I like you a lot, if we met in a different circumstance, we will be ...."

Regulus said shyly looking down toying with the package that he left to take yesterday when the assaults happened.

"we will be f... friends or even siblings like" Korra said " you know Regulus you are too soft to be death eater, too kind to be a Slytherin, too humble to be a black" he blushed at her words.

" you mean I should be in your house? both of our houses are extremely loyal and curious, my lady but have our differences that shape us "

now his tone become warry.

"I will help you escape "

---------

The door opened and korra walked in her white dress to the aisle ,she was breathtaking beautiful ,even few witches looked at her in awe , her soulmate was in more than awe , envying his own luck with her , and then she stopped next to him .

" you are taking my breath away love, black is your color "korra told her soon to be her husband. The priest began the classical vows ordering both to repeat them. 

------

She felt the silky texture of the fabric of the invisibility clock in her hand awfully reminding her of the basilisk skin but she shook that memory away as she sneaked out transporting herself to the second nearest ministry of magic beside the British one ,the Italian one, she couldn't risk to go to the British one since it was under his control, France one was too close so she choose the Italian, its ministry is as what she heard extremely kind so it’s her only chance.

when she settled in the minister office and by sheer luck, he was alone she removed the clock throwing it away in desperation to be seen. The poor mistier nearly had a heart attack but before he called say anything she spoke.

"please help me I want to be away from him"

he looked puzzled, like he couldn't understand her, so she switched to Italian her father native language.

"I want your help in shielding me from him "

"I know you .... Lady hope" hope is still alive, so naturally good deed is being rewarded,

"Yes, I am"

"you are my lord soulmate" not only it was in English, but it was a settlement that meant .... all hope is gone.

"m.....my Lord?"

"yes, my lady ....and my lord" he bowed, he was there right behind her, the smell pf blood hanged on the air.

his arms left wet mark on her shoulder as he settled them there and then that manic laugh echoed through that massive office, the sound waves come back to her ears from them it entered her body settling in her broken soul.

"you ,my soulmate ,wanted to personally see the extend of my control so much that you abounded our weeding for it making Regulus Polyjuice into you , he is dead now ,red his coffin ,I will give a hint all of the magical society in the world is mine , I am sorry ours a mate is an equal"

he spans her around facing him, facing red eyes of the devil, finger under her chin and he left her head to take a good look at his bloody suit.

"I am sorry Korra , the wedding must frightened you but you didn't want to break my heart so you send him as you "

he kissed her and she tested blood on his lips, he broke apart to laugh again that maniac psychotics laugh, it didn't have to be echo through anything as it directly invaded her soul.

"'and then when he see I view him as a soulmate, I will run away when he give me freedom, when he trust me blindly " he recited her though of that night that he escaped and got her , which meant...

"you were in my head but ...."

"how?, you see love , when I knew we were soulmate I didn't want it to be like another soulmate bond I wanted it to be more symbolic and unique so  I took part of your soul and putted it in me and part of mine and putted it in you "

he toyed with her wrist before capturing them with one hand of his now his eyes returned that dark color.

"we are each other horcruxes" at her word he jumped in joy.

"yes , one of the things your shard did to me made me lucky in achieving it in a very short time , one of mine did to you is it made you parseltongue it was quite the romantic move when you spoke it to me ordering to kill my fool father when you hissed it at me and again you spoke it again in your sleep that day   "

this is it , her mind being her enemy, so now epiphany happened what Dumbledore told her by that she couldn't use that only way to stop him, he meant to kill herself, but since their souls is forever intertwined as one, it’s impossible he won completely.

"now now, dear soulmate since you didn't do the weeding it’s time for those to pay the price of your defining me since there movies made you so blind to see that we are meant to be together, we are soulmate "

more than five muggles died that day, and he have won.

Lady hope is no more.

Trivia facts:

this actually started as a drabble discussing both OC and Tom’s relationship but it ended up as a sequel

Kindly leave comments and feedback , ask any question you would like me to answer, I am doing an ask event for gifts you can ask any character anything and I will answer as them.

[the-heart-squad]

Prologue-[AJ’s POV]

Word Count: 3511

Warnings: None

Prologues: Sly’s POV || Lea’s POV || Sienna’s POV || Piper’s POV || AJ’s POV (You are here!)

The red string of fate.

It is said to be an unbreakable string of scarlet that binds soulmates. Just like how fate is more than what people make it out to be, so are the strings.

I’d know.

Because love comes in so many different forms, I’ve already had several strings when I was little.

On my left hand was the comforting kind of love. The kind that gave me a small, soft smile when my mother kissed my head. Or when I couldn’t stop laughing over something my father joked about. Not just that, but even how proud I get when my sister compliments my art. Two strings tied to my parents wraps around my index finger, to lead me in the right direction. On the other hand, a string from my sister is looped around my thumb, which assured me that I could do anything.

I’m glad the strings are weightless, because my right hand would feel as heavy as a dumbbell if they weren’t. My right hand symbolizes platonic love. A string instantly becomes attached the moment I interact with someone. It first starts around the wrist, and as you get to know the person, the string moves. The middle finger is where hatred for that person resides, the thumb for those that are simply acquaintances that cheer me on from afar, and the index finger is reserved for good-natured, honest best friends that bring out the best in me.

My ring and pinkie fingers remain untouched.

Now, the ring finger, I understand. If I were to feel affection toward a friend, perhaps a string might find a home around my ring finger. But my pinkie? What does such a tiny, trivial finger represent?

Now back to the myth. As you can see, there is truth behind what is only known as a legend.

But there is one thing that they got wrong.

Tapping the power button on my laptop, I lean back in my chair. I sigh, long and quiet, all the while tugging and massaging my fingers. Faint aching at my joints causes me slight discomfort, but it’s nothing unusual. After finishing seven drawings in a hour or two, what do you expect?

I rest both hands atop my keyboard and let all of my fingers stretch in front of me, admiring the strings. I smile, I really do…I can’t help but flinch when I feel my grin dissipate.

The strings are a fading white, completely empty of color.

All the rich, vibrant shades of red that they talked of was untrue. Seeing the strings makes my heart soar, but their colorless, bleak nature is bound to bring a bit of gloom from time to time.

I constantly wonder why. Was I supposed to see color? Do I see colors when I reach a certain age? Am I broken? Why-

The screen comes alive, and the light that radiates from the letters on the keyboard bring me back to reality. Clicking on the blue logo that I know all too well, I find myself smiling right away.

Online friends are an interesting case. Since I’ve never physically met them, they don’t have strings. I can leave asks on as many people’s blogs as I want, but not a single string appears.

…There were four exceptions. Let me tell you about them.

-

She is the countryside.

She is the short walk to a nearby town, where the buildings huddle together and lights reflects off each other’s windows. There are quiet voices, the occasional booming cackle and the clinking of glasses. The streets and roads are mostly empty, but it is inside the stores and shops where laughter and chatter belong.

There is a homely feeling to this small town. You could always find her wandering around, going from building to building leaving smiles and bright faces. Whether it’s complimenting others or joining a protection squad, she is there with the town, reveling in the closeness of their companionship.

And then you are home. You are where the houses become scattered and the concrete roads become gravel or sand. Gazing out over the horizon, there is only the gentle swaying of tall crops and a setting sun.

You remain outside, sitting down and watching the sun fade away. Light falls and darkness rises, covering you with a blanket of constellations and glittering stars. With no factories or skyscrapers close by, the sky can breathe.

When your back drops against the ground and the grass meets your hair, she grins beside you. She laughs along when you point out the constellations, remarking that they look like things they definitely aren’t supposed to look life. She is the lift of your lips, the sparkle in your eyes.

Lying down with the smell of fresh grass and cool air lingering upon my nose, I feel calm. Her presence, though it is not entirely familiar, is peaceful.  

But she is not always peaceful. In a place where there are nothing but fields and flatlands, you are bound to find something to liven things up.

When the colorful leaves drop from trees and a chilling breeze settles in, you could be chatting with friends in that bustling coffee shop in town, or be in a library, immersing yourself in an interesting book. Even indoors, you are sitting by the fireplace or watching movies. You could be smelling the blooming flowers and morning dew, visiting gardens and climbing trees. Then all of a sudden, you’re dancing, barefoot, with the stars hanging over your head, a popping firecracker in your hand as you take in the warmth of July.

Whatever it is, it is new and exciting. Taking something so simple and making it worthwhile is an admirable feat.

You do not know this place well, that is for sure. But you wish you do. You wish you could. The countryside is filled with wonders that you hope to explore and learn about in the future.

As you sit upright, you glance down. That faint swish on your wrist was indeed not the grass, but a string.

All you can do is hope she feels the same.

We are connected, the countryside and I.

-

She is a city.

Sometimes she feels distant, just like how New York City is to me, but I don’t mind. She isn’t constantly a part of my life, and yet every time I drive down that bridge, look into the river and see those shining buildings, I’m filled with excitement.

The city is an acquired taste, something that you maybe wouldn’t enjoy unless you’ve visited it on multiple occasions. Even for me, a person who was born and raised in such a place for most of her life, the city takes some getting used to.

In some parts, the buildings glitter like gold. With its polished glass windows, allowing sunlight to grace its surface all too perfectly, and elegant architecture, you are almost fooled by its facade.

Then you could turn your head and see tired, drooping eyes, voices yelling into phones and people crossing streets with a red traffic light hanging over their heads.

Insecurity disguises itself within beauty.

And she is always there.

The sun begins to set, bringing upon the shadows, the people and the lights. I’m stuck within a crowd of people, and I’m still alone.

After not being in the city for several months, things don’t seem all that beautiful anymore.

Suddenly the echoing footsteps of the people around me doesn’t sound so soothing. The buses roar, lions that snarl and growl intensely. Cars screech to abrupt stops, paying no attention to the rapid honking or the blinking stoplights. Above me, the trains let out bellowing cries as they bang against the rickety steel tracks.

She is there, pulling me to safety. Away from the dreadful noises, from the crowd, until there is tranquil silence. In order to ease the tension, she cracks a small joke.

Now, just for a moment, I can laugh in peace.

There is a tug at the corner of her lips as she sets off into the city. I follow alongside her. For a little while, things don’t feel overwhelming anymore. There are no due dates, no drawing requests to get done, no stories that are begging to be written. I can see the city for what it truly is.

Just like her, the city is real. Its raw, imperfect magnificence is bound to stun anyone, as long as they take the time to get to know its delighting qualities.

She is the embodiment of stupid, but brilliantly amusing conversations in the middle of the night. She speaks in the language of references, using words in a way that will make you giggle. Her words come quickly, in a rush that ends as soon as it appeared, but that refreshing feeling of a car speeding past you will never stop being exhilarating.

She tends to change a lot. One moment she’ll be bubblegum pink, a rose dripping in paint. Then the warm tones of golden sunflowers, or even a cat stalking through the night. All the colors and scents shift from one theme to another-her love for aesthetics never ceases to impress me.

She moves quickly and easily, but she will never completely abandon you. If she disappears for a couple of minutes, you can rest assured that she’ll come running back bearing a smile and a funny story. As fast as a subway train, she will jump from one topic to another, whether it’s about crazy school stories or cantaloupes.

Her relatable humor will lift a chuckle from one’s throat, lightening up someone’s mood like how the lamp posts along the sidewalks come alive at night. Light pours in through the windows of buildings, illuminating the jet black sky. In the same way, she, with her exciting personality, is able to brighten one’s day.

Only when you’re sitting on the roof of a building will you be able to appreciate her. When you sit still, taking in the view, just listen. She will be there. Not everyone enjoys the city the first time around, but I promise you, there’s always something there that’ll make you smile.

She doesn’t even live in a city, so for all I know, she could have no idea what I’m talking about.

But as a person who has lived in one and loved it with all her heart-that’s saying a lot.

She smiles softly, saying goodbye before turning her head to the city. She stares, almost in a daze, at the skyscrapers and flashing lights. She rises, jumping off the ledge, hitting a metal staircase attached to the side of the building. Rushing down the steps, she doesn’t look back once.

You aren’t worried. She will return, one way or another.

The wind picks up, a light breeze that mirrored her swift movements. I stand up and tuck a strand of hair behind my ear, noticing the tingling sensation that momentarily crossed my wrist. I look down and grin.

We are connected, the city and I.

-

They are a forest.

Personally, I haven’t spent much time in forests, so I think of them are rare. Unique. Where I live, there’s always been random patches of trees here and there, but never forests.

I think forests have plenty of hidden beauty. There’s just something captivating about entering a forest in the midday, seeing the light filtering in through the trees. Every tree’s branches spreads out far and wide, their long arms stretching out to embrace the glorious, radiant sun, but also weaving together to create a blanket of protection over the forest floor.

Forests means freedom. You could run, run, run: fast, far and even a little careless, but the support of the forest is always apparent. As you dash through the woods, you notice everything you could ever love about being able to express yourself. There’s the scent of pine cones and dirt, the gust of air that blows your hair into a tornado, and the babbling brook that you easily soar across.

But when the night fell-everything all of a sudden became more terrifying.

It isn’t the forest itself that frightens you-it’s what surrounds it. There are howls of stalking predators, jaws snapping wildly. Voices come from the swaying trees and whistling wind, rapidly increasing whispers that made your legs tremble. Their vile words yank and snatch at the remnants of my sanity, draining all of the energy and hope out of me. The sounds are not there to hurt you necessarily, but sickening feeling persistently tugging at your stomach isn’t the most comforting thing either.

They tell you that you’re not supposed to be there. Maybe you don’t deserve to discover any of the forest’s intriguing mysteries, or experience the gorgeous lights of a city, or even the simple excitement of the countryside. What if you’re being bothersome, or overbearing? What if-

The forest does not like ‘what ifs’. The forest does not mean to scare you, or make you feel out of place.

The wind begins to ease up, the steady breeze soothing your shaking hands. As you look down, you close your eyes and listen once more. To the faint chirping of the cicadas, the rustling leaves and swishing branches.

They appear at your side in your moments of unexpected, excessive doubt and panic. When your eyelids flutter open and you see them beside you, you are grounded. Safe. You start to talk to them, their tone hushed and quiet, as if they’re afraid of scaring you. You could never be scared of them. Perhaps worried that these conversations might be too time consuming for them, yes, but never scared.

They show you the forest as it is: fascinating, patient, understanding and even showing a bit of fear from time to time. The forest is as welcoming as it is calming, and you enjoy that.

You never expected that you would ever experience happiness from a night as horrible as that one, but you did. The thoughts never destroyed you because the forest was there to protect you.

Within the pitch black, there was light. Fireflies danced throughout the forest, their luminosity making me smile that night.

When your eyelids felt heavy and your yawns grew longer, they told you to sleep. It was late, they spoke, and you need rest. You reluctantly gave in to this request.

Just before you were pulled into a deep slumber, something brushes against your wrist. The ghost of a smile graces your lips as you lose consciousness.

We are connected, the forest and I.

-

She is a meadow.

I wish with all my heart that I could travel more often. I’ve only seen meadows through videos and pictures, but as an introvert that appreciates nature, I’d love to see one someday.

All I can imagine is light and beauty. The ground dips into smooth, elegant valleys and rises in the form of rolling hills. The sky mirrors the sun’s movements, changing its colors as it dances across the heavens. If you only you were there to see it-the dazzling, radiant meadow at work, stunning you with its abundance of warmth.

After wandering around momentarily, you shiver, turning around and stiffening. The wispy, cotton-like clouds that were just drifting through the sky had transformed into something worse. You tremble in sync with the ground beneath your feet, feeling your breathing become choppy and unsteady. The loud, booming, angry noises sink into your mind, not giving you a chance to recover. All you can hear is the regret, all you can feel is the doubt and all you can see is the fear.

You see her. Never once had she not been there for me.

Hearing her footsteps, the noises disappear. The grey clouds linger for a second, before giving in to the blue skies and sunshine. The storm does not come for the meadow, whose genuine joy is something that cannot be easily purged.

She comes with words-happy, lovely words woven together in the dandelions that surrounded her. She sits down, a smile on her face as she invites you to pick the flowers with her. The flowers’ colors are grounding and gentle to the touch.

For every flower that you take, her kind words flood your eyes. One tells you that you are amazing, the second that you are talented, and another that you deserve all the happiness in the world. Each one carries laughter, brings excitement and makes you grin. One after another, as the dandelions fill your lap, her compassion fills your heart.

There is one more dandelion. Once your fingers brush against its petals, you can hear it right away.

It reminds you that you are loved.

Pressing that one to your chest, you can feel your smile grow, which was almost impossible considering how wide it was beforehand. You like that specific flower a lot, you admit. Sometimes you forget.

Her arm rests along your shoulders, her smile comforting you. She knows, and that is precisely why she says it.

The meadow, in all of its glory, embraces you. She whispers, telling you how sorry she is, and how much you are loved. You can smell it in the dandelions, and you can feel it in your heart. You do not deserve her.

Are you okay, she asks with worry still lacing her voice. Upon spotting a string twirling around your wrist, you giggle and let yourself breathe. Without a doubt, you are alright, you answer.

We are connected, the meadow and I.

-

You might be asking, what about me? If one’s the countryside, the second’s a city, another is a forest, and the other is a meadow, then what am I?

The thing is: I had no idea.

I never saw myself as anything extravagant, or special. I don’t have the brightness of a city, the homely feel of the countryside, the soothing nature of a forest, or even the warmth of a meadow. What do I have?

A tug on my wrist. Faint, but urgent. I glance up at the screen.

I am…wanted…? Hm. I wonder.

I’m walking, blind. My eyes are closed and I cannot will them open. But the four are by my side, so I know all is fine.

The darkness clears, bringing in light.

Dunes of soft sand spreads out in a blanket of golden as far as I can see. The sunlight casts its rays over the shoreline, causing glittering, hidden shells to reveal themselves. I stare in utter awe at the waves-at how, with every passing second, the colors seem to change. First, it’s turquoise, then azure, and suddenly cerulean. The shades of blue shift and churn peacefully, emitting the scent of salt.

A beach.

Maybe…Maybe I do belong. I don’t doubt it as much anymore.

I stretch my hand out to the sea. I long for it, after all. Then, instead of focusing on the ocean, my gaze travels to my wrist.

Four strings lift from their place and begin to move, following the movements of the gentle breeze. Once unfurled from my wrist, they leap-

And find a comfortable spot around my pinkie.

Each string is filled with a color.

Green for the city.

Pink with flecks of gold for the countryside.

Red for the forest.

Yellow for the meadow.

Purple for the beach.

Once upon a time, five colors met. They have never been the same since.

They made a promise. It wasn’t too real or serious, just a dream that they hope with all their might would come true. They wish to one day meet each other.

When this dream was made apparent that all five of them shared, purple smiled. Purple’s heart sung with joy, for she was once again reminded that she belonged. She sits, in front of her screen, closing her eyes and extending her pinkie. Purple wishes to meet the four vibrant, wonderful colors.

One day, purple hopes. For now, she will remain at her screen: pencil to paper, fingers to keyboard. She is content with sharing herself this way, but…perhaps, with time…she will not be afraid of posting that picture.

They all have their differences, yet they are still friends.

They are The Heart Squad. ❤️💚💖💛💜

I sighed happily, snapping out of my daydream. I click out of Tumblr, adding a new tab to do something else when something caught my eye.

‘’Wait...wait, wait, wait. Hold up.’

I scramble out of my chair, standing up and jerking my hand in front of my face. 

One blink. Two blinks. Okay, so maybe this is real.

Stumbling back to sit in my chair, I stare in awe at my hand. The strings are all still there, bright with color and thrumming against my fingers in a way similar to a heartbeat. As I move my hand, the strings wrapped around my pinky twirl and flutter in sync with my movements. 

A curious glance at my laptop, and suddenly I’m opening up the chat. Who knows, maybe I’m going crazy and the strings are simply malfunctioning. But still...

My eyes widen. I’m left speechless when I see the words-the question that I had been itching to ask. Sly had been the one to ask it.

‘Did something weird just happen to anybody else?’

[charminglatina]

Why Bughead is a terrible couple.

1. They have no romantic or sexual chemistry: I’m sorry but it’s the truth. Bughead have absolutely zero chemistry. None! Nada! Zilch! Zip! There’s no romanticism in their relationship whatsoever. When Jughead and Betty kiss, I feel like I’m watching two siblings making out. Their relationship looks like two platonic friends (which is what Jughead and Betty canonically are in the comics by the way) trying to force a romantic connection between them that doesn’t exist by kissing each other. This is why I seriously don’t understand how people can say that Jughead and Betty have romantic or sexual chemistry because where is it? It’s just not there at all and it’s nowhere to be seen. I know chemistry is supposedly subjective, but as someone who’s been in numerous fandoms and has supported a variety of different romantic couples throughout my almost 29 years of life, Bughead just simply doesn’t cut it in the chemistry and romance department. Their chemistry comes across as forced, as if their trying to make themselves appear as a romantic couple but are badly failing at it. When Jughead and Betty were making out and almost had sex in 1x13, it came across as incredibly awkward and non-sexual. I don’t care how many times Bughead make out, THE. CHEMISTRY. IS. JUST. NOT. THERE. I don’t know but a large part of why I can’t buy them as a romantic couple is because of the serious lack of chemistry between the two. At this point, Jughead has more sexual tension and chemistry with food than he does with Betty Cooper.

2. They’re toxic and borderline dysfunctional: Jughead and Betty have proven over and over that they are a toxic and dysfunctional couple. Their relationship is borderline toxic (never mind, it IS toxic). All Jughead and Betty do since Season 1 is constantly argue and fight with each other and break up and make up afterwards. They insult each other constantly and then they apologize afterwards. It’s like a repetitive,vicious, ugly cycle of making up and breaking up between the two that it’s become almost abusive and destructive to both of their characters. THEY’RE RELATIONSHIP IS REPETITIVE AND BORING. Jughead is always fighting with Betty and putting her down constantly. He constantly points out her insecurities and makes Betty feel bad about herself. Like when Betty decided that she wanted to throw Jughead a birthday party, Jughead cursed Betty out and made her feel terrible for doing something nice for him on his birthday. What kind of relationship is that? If anything, Jughead should be appreciative of what Betty did for him but he wasn’t. Instead, he yells at her and then tells her that their relationship is on borrowed time because he  feels that she would drop him for Archie if he reciprocated her feelings eventually. That’s another thing that makes Bughead toxic: the fact that Jughead is insecure about Archie and Betty’s feelings about him. Jughead has known his whole life that Betty has always loved Archie and he’s always come first for her. Jughead knows at the back of his mind that Archie and Betty will always have this undeniable, powerful, and strong bond and connection that Jughead and Betty will never have. Barchie have HISTORY, they have friendship, they have companionship and they have things in common; that’s something that is going to make Jughead feel insecure and like he doesn’t measure up to Archie in Betty’s eyes. Insecurities in a relationship are never a good thing and that’s exactly what Jughead and Betty’s relationship is based on. Finally, they’re toxic because Betty feels she has to lose her identity and who she is to be with Jughead. The fact that Betty wanted to become a Serpent to be with Jughead is so disgusting. And the fact that Betty, a 15 year old minor, was willing to climb up on a stage and striptease on a  pole just so she could get a taste of the Serpent life is APPALLING. I don’t feel that Jughead and Betty accept each other for who they are. Their relationship is one of convenience I feel and I feel that Betty just using Jughead as a replacement for Archie rejecting her. And that’s not a healthy relationship.

3. They are forced/rushed/badly written: This is the biggest reason why I don’t ship Bughead. THEY ARE FORCED. Their relationship was rushed and it came out of nowhere. There was zero build up to their relationship and they had no development whatsoever. There were absolutely no hints that Jughead and Betty had any romantic attraction or connection whatsoever until Episode 5 and then the next episode they are making out with each other after one day. I mean, Betty has spent years loving Archie. In the first episode, she was clearly in love with Archie, and then he rejected her. But then four episodes later, she’s falling in love with Jughead and they are kissing each other? I mean, does that make sense at all? How can Betty go from loving Archie so much to all of a sudden declaring Jughead as this epic love and soulmate? Also, BETYT DIDN’T EVEN KNOW WHEN JUGHEAD’S BIRTHDAY WAS and she’s supposedly known him since childhood? How could Betty have known Jughead since they were kids and for her to not know when his birthday is? That’s just bad writing.  Their relationship just doesn’t make sense at all and Bughead was very badly written which is why they are forced and rushed.

4. The ship name is ridiculous: Yeah, I said it. The ship name for Jughead and Betty’s relationship is Bughead. I mean, need I say more? Doesn’t that just give away how horrible and shitty of a couple Bughead is? If the fact that the ship is named Bughead doesn’t tell you how horrible the relationship is considering the fact that they’re named after fucking head lice, then I don’t know what does.

5. It’s not canon in the comics: I’ve been an avid Archie Comics reader since childhood and there has never been any inclination that Jughead and betty have a romantic connection or are more than friends. Their relationship is strictly platonic in the comics which is why I can’t buy them being a romantic couple on the show in any capacity. As someone who has a strong respect for the source material, I think if there’s going to be a television adaptation to any source material that’s a book or comic, they should follow what’s in the comics. Bughead doesn’t exist in the comics and it never has. Bughead aren’t a romantic couple int he comics and they never have been. Betty is and always will be in love with Archie and the main storyline of Archie Comics is the love triangle between Archie/Betty/Veronica, period. There is no room for a Bughead relationship in the comics so it doesn’t make any sense why the writers of Riverdale even tried to put Jughead and Betty together romantically on the show because it just doesn’t fit.

6. They are too different from each other: Let’s face it, other than a love for writing and both of them having dysfunctional families, Jughead and Betty have little to nothing in common in regards to outlooks, personalities, interests, etc. It’s not even the fact that Betty and Jughead come from different social classes, it’s the fact that I feel they don’t understand each other on a fundamentally deeper level. The lack of understanding between the two is a clear sign that they don’t understand each other at the core of who they are. It’s why Betty and Jughead are always fighting with each other because there is a serious lack of deep connection. The fact that Jughead and Betty have a serious lack of communication between the two is a huge issue, which brings me to my next point...

7. There’s a huge lack of communication: Jughead and Betty don't communicate or operate on the same level. They are constantly keeping things from each other and hiding things from each other. They don’t tell each other the truth about their problems. For example, Jughead didn’t tell Betty that he kissed Toni. And Betty didn’t tell Jughead about the Black Hood and the fact that he was threatening her. Also, Jughead and Betty don’t seem to support each other all that much anymore. Jughead and his lifestyle is indirectly causing Betty a lot of emotional pain and troubles and he doesn’t realize it. Also, Jughead hasn’t been the supportive boyfriend that he should be to Betty especially this season. Archie is the one who’s been acting like Betty’s boyfriend instead of Jughead. Jughead has made constant selfish and impulsive decisions which have beeb detrimental to Betty and his relationship with her. Him joining the Serpents and getting involved with Penny Peabody are just a few of them. The fact that Betty can’t turn to Jughead and tell him what’s on her mind or what’s bothering her is very problematic and is a sure sign that there’s a lack of communication in their relationship. The constant lying that the two of them do to each other is a sign of a relationship that is unstable and lacking something significant.

8. Bughead is fan service: Bughead doesn’t exist in the comics. The only reason why Bughead happened on Riverdale is because a small,yet vocal group of fans wanted Betty to get with Jughead because Jughead is portrayed by Cole Sprouse. Bughead is fan service because the writers have decided to appease high school age girls by getting the audience surrogate and self insert (aka Betty) to live out their fantasies with Cole Sprouse through shipping Bughead. Most Bughead fans are high school aged girls who think Cole Sprouse is the hottest thing in the world and the writers have chosen to destroy their own show and story by catering to these screaming Cole fangirls. Bughead is fan service with a capital F and if there was a definition for fanservice in the dictionary, Bughead would be the definition. 

I’ll be adding more reasons in a Pt. 2 post, but these are some of my reasons why I think Bughead is a bad couple and why I don’t support or ship them.

[mootmuse]

was just struck with the urge to do a hopefully only mildly melancholic ye olde fashioned blog post about intimacy. hope none of y’all browsing right now on your phones

I remember sharing a bed with my best friend when I was a kid. I’ve never had closeness like that since. I remember, vaguely, laying there in the dark at my house, me with my own blanket and her with hers because she was a blanket thief. I remember laying in her house at the foot of the bed, and I think the logical reason was because there was more room that way but I seem to remember thinking I was laying there at her feet like a dog and being ashamed at how subservient I always was - she was always the dominant personality, and I never minded her as much as I was a little ashamed of me. But I liked it, too, a part of it, laying there at her feet like that. My memory is terrible, I don’t remember laying next to her with the clarity I’d like to, and I’m not sure if the sense of intimacy is there in the memory just because I want it to be. 

I’m not that good at social shit. Part of it’s because I don’t want to be - I don’t know anyone at work who I trust or feel comfortable enough with that spending time performing humanity for would be anything but a chore, and I’m way too low on energy to waste my free time on someone I have to perform for. Even that’s debatable, the idea that I don’t want to, because if I had enough energy that I could act like a normal person, how would I redistribute my effort? For this particular topic the why doesn’t matter. The fact is that my behavior, online and in person, does not encourage closeness and it never has, and I don’t see that changing. The other fact is that all the formal hangout groups for people with similar interests, for interests I care enough about to drag myself out of the house for when I ought to be resting, are too far away for me to drive. Technically, I think, about an hour, but the last time my slow, easily confused ass tried to go there it took an hour and forty five minutes just one way. Not something I’m interested in doing once a month, let alone more often. 

People always say, oh, things could change! The common attitude toward optimism is to tell people who are down to blindly hope something good magically happens, and to treat that attitude as normal and expected. But if I’m not changing anything, chances are good that nothing is going to change. 

Which means - no intimacy for me. Not in that particular way. My childhood best friend, she was it. There are millions of different lives happening right now feeling millions of different experiences, some of them are ones that include supportive, intimate companionship, two people setting up the little everyday pieces of a life together, and sealing those pieces together with love and support, and building it up. And mine will very likely not ever be one of them. This is not unusual. Very little, in the vast and varied range of human experience, is really unusual. It’s not unusual, and many people have lived and died in this way, wanting this, and in a sense it is okay, in the way that a lot of the little tragedies of human experience are okay. You say it’s okay because it has to be, because you live with it, because you can be happy, even so, even like this. There can be happiness, and I will be - in a certain specific sense - alone, and it will not pass. And there will be happiness, even so, there will be experiences and there will be life, and so lacking that intimacy becomes one of those things people think of when they tell me, time and time and time again while I’m ringing up their groceries, that they’re okay, or they might as well be, because no one would listen to them complain anyway. It always makes me sad, a little bit, when I hear people say that like it’s normal. Someone might listen, I try to tell them, sometimes, but you can’t really have a serious conversation like that with a total stranger and they probably wouldn’t want to anyway.

My best friend moved away, at one point early in high school. She was sent away. I visited her up there, once, and I remember how powerful it was, just being near her again. Just touching her. Not that I said anything about it at all. Weird, the opportunities you don’t even know are there. Weird to look back years and years later, and want something that didn’t even occur to you, at the time. I think I would have interpreted that feeling differently than I did, if I’d felt it for anyone now. The me of then didn’t even think to make sure she knew I valued it that deeply, just being near her again. Weird to know what to do with that kind of opportunity only when I’ll (likely) never see anything like it with anyone again. 

She moved back after a while, and nothing was the same. I had learned to be my own person away from her. There was affection, but we weren’t close. She’s had a very difficult life, and has ties with our other formerly mutual friends, and I have ties with none of them, and through all the pain of her adulthood haven’t ever been able to do a damn thing for her. She’s not part of my life now. 

Reading fic makes me think of these things, sometimes. Back when I used to read homestuck fic about pale-whatever, I forget what it’s called, those platonic romances with the purpose of two people doing nothing but purely taking care of each other, sometimes it made me ache so badly to put my imagination in that place where my own actions - my own personality, the way I have to prioritize my actions into lack of action to accommodate my lack of ability to do anything at all - will never get me that I couldn’t bear to finish the stories sometimes. 

There’s a lovely story I read recently, about the pairing I”m currently into trying and, for a while failing, to sleep comfortably in the same bed with one another. It was a wonderful story and brought me joy, and on a meta level it was a delightful little reminder that the easy way our favorite pairings tend to slip into each other’s lives wouldn’t realistically be so easy, that one snores terribly, that laying with a head on someone else’s arm can make your neck ache. It started me thinking of my friend. The friend who isn’t in my life anymore. It got me thinking about necessary and creative solutions like each person having their own blanket, and it got me thinking about what - barring the kind of random cause-less positive social-life change which I’ve never been able to believe in - I’ll never have as an adult, that I’ll never have as a clear and certain memory. 

Stories are the only way I’m going to experience any of that. It pales, I know, in comparison to the day to day stresses and difficulties of the real thing. A shining ideal, imperfect in its perfection, in the fictional version’s perceived lack of difficulty. I have this habit, honed over years, of wanting to learn about things just in case. I’ll read this article on mistakes married couples make, how the ones that last act, how to do it right, I’ll read it just in case, and if it happens to me-

I’m trying not to prepare for just in cases anymore. If it happens, I’ll focus on how to do it right when I do it. The fictional version is the only one I’m going to experience. I suppose my next step is figuring out how to put my imagination in that place without putting my situation in with it, too. Can I read about two loving, supportive people without thinking of myself, without thinking I’ll never, without hurting over it to a degree that makes the fiction impossible to totally enjoy? I don’t know. I might as well be able to do that, because hurting over it won’t help me enjoy what fictional, false version of it I’ll have. 

‘Only mildly melancholic,’ I said. Does this count? Compared to posts I’ve written in the past, I think it does. In recent ones I always try to specify: there will be moments of happiness. Not always the kind I want. It will not, most of the time, be enough. Or, worse, sometimes it will be enough and I can go on without it, and problems that don’t absolutely need on pain of immediate consequences to be solved do not get solved. If I don’t need it, I’m never going to get it. How fortunate that I don’t; with my situation, and my personality - not unpleasant, not unlikeable, but damned difficult to make any real bond with - I wouldn’t get it anyway, even if it was an immediate need. 

I guess that sort of explains my fascination with abo. I’ve never been able to finish an abo fic - or like, one out of every 10 I get intrigued enough to read will I finish. Aspects of it and certain patterns within it really don’t work for me, but the idea of having a set place that you don’t have to work for and then not work enough for and then never get, the idea of getting companionship because you straight up can not go without it - isn’t that nice? That idea? The idea of a pain that shows, that shows in such an immediate and desperate way that those outside you with the power to help must help, symptoms that show and, for showing, must be soothed. A fantasy. One that’s always done it for me. No wonder I keep trying with abo, despite my difficulty. 

I don’t know if I’m ready to read about two people building happiness together. I do know that shouting into the void - as it tends to - is starting to get to me. There are other things I could have and should have been writing, things people outside me would have been actively interested in. How like me, that I could only do this instead. 

Mildly melancholic, I did say that. This still counts, for me. 

[shinaina]

Counting Steps

Summary | She was an angel in her element, her elegant movements while she danced enough to put anyone who watched in a trance; and he was far too eager to be hypnotized. 

Next Chapter | N/A

Couple | NaruHina 

Rating | T 

He was there often, not that she cared or even noticed, a lot of people came to see rehearsal or simply to observe the dancers lost in a trance. He got lost in the crowd as easily as a spec of dust did. No matter how focused his gaze was as it just always seemed to linger on her, begging her to take note of him, the girl never noticed. Too lost in her own trance during her performance to pay him any mind. It seemed the cliche idea that a man looked at a woman with utter and unadulterated awe and love in his eyes was always when she was looking away.

Hinata Hyuga was the lead of dancing for her profession, ballet; though that didn’t mean she wasn’t skilled in other forms. Her style of dance was simply much more graceful and feminine; a style in which allowed her to easily take the spotlight when it came to ballet. Yet the petite girl was considered a prodigy when it came to dancing, able to learn any performance within a day’s time; no matter the style seemingly. Whenever the time came that one specific group within the dancing unit needed a replacement or an extra they usually went to her. The young woman, having turned 19 only two weeks ago, was attending one of the most prestigious mixed media arts school within her country which coincidentally was only an hour drive from her hometown. She stayed in a loft in which her family provided for her upon her arrival though she often left during the weekends to visit if she was not busy. A kind and reserved girl, she held a calm strength to her that one may have missed due to her gentleness and soft-spoken nature. A small and slim body but seemed to be voluminous in the parts that mattered; namely her chest, hips, hair and lips. Not many knew much about the school-proclaimed goddess, nothing more than the fact that they wanted to know more about her. Perhaps it was the way she held herself with beauty and grace, her long silky dark hair that seemed to glow in a navy blue shade in the sunlight and her capturing almost transparent, pale lavender eyes or the porcelain skin that practically made her doll-like which everyone imagined was soft to the touch. Hinata was simply so beautiful, so compassionate and empathetic, it was hard not to want to get to know her. Yet she only seemed to appear for her classes, rehearsal and then vanish, like some mythical creature whose appearance was considered a blessing.

The only other student in the school who even seemed to know Hinata and actually have a close relationship with her was a student of the same nature only in a much more aloof manner. A student who was just as mysterious as her and a sight of immense beauty to anyone who was attracted to the male gender. Sasuke Uchiha. A 20 year old young man who was studying the arts of choir, piano and traditional guitar. A sure to be hit when he began his career as a singer, he was already a practical celebrity in their school. His music held a sort of melancholy tone to it and yet his voice angelic. Sasuke seemed to be the literal and walking embodiment of the phrase tall, dark, and handsome. A pale fellow, not unhealthily or upsettingly so though, with ink black hair along with ebony colored eyes, a muscular and toned body and a face of constant indifference.

It was no surprise the two students who came from the most prestigious families were constant companions in their daily life. Their families were tight business partners which resulted easily in the two having been playmates since the moment they were able to crawl. Seen walking together in a quiet conversation while Sasuke walked in front of Hinata almost protectively carrying her bags with a face that almost looked gentle. Hinata trailing after in a thoughtful expression as she recounted her day and seemed more open with the man than she ever could be. It was as if the two most beautiful people in the world had come together and jealousy was thick in the air from any gender as they watched their eye candy walk around with the other.  

“I heard their parents had their marriage arranged since they were toddlers.”

“Imagine how beautiful their children will be! They’re practically gods which means their children will be literal angels!”

“Hmph! I bet they don’t even know how to love because they simply knew all along they’d marry each other.”

“Of course people as arrogant and stuck up as that would end up together.”

“We don’t even know anything about them, only that they know each other…”

Hinata’s eyes slowly drifted from left to right as the whispers continued, some amusing her while others simply made her self-conscious. As they approached Sasuke’s pure jet black Corvette the ebony eyed man opened the door for her and closed it as she entered before putting their bags in the trunk. She fiddled with her fingers, a nervous habit she had had for as long as she could remember, as she waited for companion. Sasuke entered with a scowl on his face. “Don’t listen to them.” Stated the Uchiha calmly, a mantra he had taught her that she repeated to herself often. “All people like that know to do is assume.” He added in an indifferent tone as he put the key in the ignition and turned it. His playlist instantly came on along with the car, his own preference in music was a similar melancholy indie style to his own. Hinata learned quickly that Sasuke enjoyed music with low and slow instrumentals with drops here and there along with poetic lyrics; she didn’t mind at all.

As he drove they remained in a comfortable silence as Hinata thought about their lifelong companionship. No they were not betrothed and they honestly never planned their make a romantic relationship between them a reality. Their friendship was purely platonic, a friendship put together by their fathers in order to assure a comfortability between families and to promise another generation of union between them. While Sasuke’s brother had taken up the mantle of the Uchiha family, not that Sasuke minded, and Hinata’s younger sister was the heir to the mantle of her’s due to her lack of passion for business, their families were practically that; family. They were practically siblings and a silent promise of always being there for each other remained a constant reminder in the air they breathed around each other. “It’s funny isn’t it? That even to this day people can’t wrap their heads around the idea of a platonic relationship between a male and female who aren’t related. It’s almost offensive.” Hinata murmured quietly in which triggered a “Hn.” response from Sasuke. She knew he didn’t care about what was said of him, he was confident and sure of himself, the Hyuga wished she could be more like him.

As they came up to the building in which Hinata’s loft was located, Sasuke parked and got out to open the door for her; something bred out of constant scolding from his mother about being a “gentleman” and force of habit. She exited and waited for him as he got her bags and began to walk in front of her in a defensive manner as usual. Bringing a hand to her mouth she chuckled. “Sometimes I feel like you’re my servant.” Sasuke casted her a glance that only made her giggle more. “Would you rather carry them? Also if I wasn’t around I wouldn’t doubt it if you ran into a door multiple times due to being so used to me opening them for you.” Now that shut the younger one of the two up as she pouted at her friend, a smirk appeared on his face though he didn’t even have to look at her to know she was offended by the comment. As they entered the building Hinata couldn’t help but smile, it was modern with elegant furniture everywhere; an aesthetic she secretly enjoyed. Sasuke entered the elevator and waited for her until pressing the button to the highest floor.

The loft itself had white carpet with black leather couches and a glass coffee table in the living area, the flat screen TV was planted on the wall with a small and simple wall shelf a foot or so beneath it to hold a few books. The kitchen to the right was a modern one with a grey marbled island with a black and steel exterior design for the kitchen. Immediately the two took off their shoes, Sasuke moving to put her navy duffle bag and ivory backpack beside the couch, they stood out only slightly. The glass pull aside doors led out to a balcony with glass borders and an ivory bench. It was extravagant but simple and she enjoyed it, it didn’t tell too much about her if she ever had a visitor which she appreciated. Sasuke moved to the island in the kitchen to the white bowl filled with fruits sitting on it, he inspected it quietly before grabbing a few tomatoes. Hinata learned not to question that odd and practically obsession he had with tomatoes quickly as well. He offered her a nod before he left. “I’ll pick you up at nine like usual.” He said before approaching the door, he hesitated for a moment before saying. “There’s a new student arriving tomorrow too.” Tilting her head to the side she wondered why Sasuke felt the need to bring such a thing up, he wasn’t one for gossiping. “In the middle of the year?” Was the only question she asked. “Apparently he’s been attending our school since the beginning of the year, sending in progress of a project he’s working on in order to maintain grades. He’s arriving late due to the fact he barely finished a 4 month role in a festival short film.” Hinata immediately stiffened. No, it couldn’t be…

“How do you know this?”

“Because the dobe texted me last night.”

She was immediately trembling, Sasuke knew better than to turn around at his last statement, Hinata didn’t enjoy anyone around her while she was in a vulnerable state. “Thank you for telling me.” Murmured the pale eyed girl before Sasuke nodded with his back still turned to her and then left.

She couldn’t see him, no no no no, this couldn’t be happening. A vivid picture of the blond haired and sun kissed tan skin male was already making it’s way into her head. His bright blue eyes that held her definition of the sky within them along with his signature whisker marks which were with him since his first breath of life as birthmarks. Though having a birthmark on one’s face was an unappealing thought to most at times, he made them work somehow. The perfect beach body and perfect physique who was literally a god of beauty to her was going to come to her school tomorrow.

[rakrwrites-blog]

It’s time, I suppose. Today’s kind of a bad day and I have a lot of responsibilities at work, but I think I’m going to focus on this. I’m not really doing so well and my best friend is away. She usually makes me feel better about things and puts it all in perspective. I suppose this will have to do. I’ve been thinking of making this playlist as homage to a relationship that wasn’t really anything, but it felt as if it was everything.

After all, aren’t all shitfaced ‘modern relationships’ like this?

Ten songs in the four months of nothing we were, for all the gray areas and the promises of companionship and the disappointments, it’s a way of letting go of songs that haunt me. I think I can condense the essence of what we were in a single playlist, and that makes me glad that at least it was beautiful.

I don’t know if I’ll ever show this to the other person, but I don’t think that matters. What matters is that, someday I’ll look back at this playlist and I would still feel the pain it accompanies, but it wouldn’t matter after the playlist is over. This was a part of life, and as horrible it was, it made me realize that I could fall for someone again. It wasn’t magical shit, and it was stupid as hell, but hey, at least I got a story out of it.

LINK

“ It was stupid and beautiful and it broke me”

[1] Phoria – Red

You were the first person I talked to on Tinder, did you know this? I didn’t even know I swiped right to you, but then this quirky guy sent me a message that seemed to go with my bio. So I decided to send you a song that I was obsessed with for a good month. To my surprise, you loved the song as much as I did, and that’s how I found my pickup line song! I’ve used this song other times also, but it doesn’t feel right anymore.

I can’t send this song to anyone who bears some semblance of romantic potential for me anymore. Probably because this song captures the kind of people we were are. Richard Feynman’s monologue in the song (Ode to a flower) connects it all really; how we found beauty in science, how we found beauty in music, and in each other for similar reasons.

[2] One Week – Barenaked Ladies

Do you remember the first playlist I made for you? You were going to be out of the country for a week, I think. You told me that you weren’t particularly fond of flying, and that turbulence bothered you. I thought about making a playlist for you, it would possibly help take your mind off of flying. I thought it was quite smart that I put this song in the playlist. I think this was the first song? I wonder if you remember the order of the playlist; I wish I wrote it down somewhere.

The week you were gone I was in this ridiculous high of finally meeting someone I liked in a romantic manner after a good seven years. The best part was that this was going to be a fling - something that I could handle. I was going through a battlefield of a breakup that was the reason for every bad decision I made that year, so it was good that you and I were what we were, and nothing else.

But then when you were gone you didn’t text me and I went on and on about a ridiculous rant about how you didn’t like me enough. In all honesty, it was a bit hard waiting for you, and in my head I had written you off. After all, this really was nothing, and I was overthinking everything. But then you did come back and you texted me the exact day you were back, and the bubble that contained echoes of our songs were back. Everything was wonderful and nothing hurt. When I asked you if the playlist helped, you told me how they did because it reminded me of you. You had me then and there with hat one line, person.

This was of course around the time when we were going to ‘be a nothing’; before you freaked out about your ridiculous condition.

This song came back the first time we met. You were getting into the lift and you were in general confused about the location and you kept on calling me with a shoddy cellular network, but I kept on texting you because I was listening to music and I was in my zone. The moment you told me that you’re in the lift beside the main entrance is when this song started playing on shuffle. It made me laugh, and I don’t know if you remember, but I kept on laughing when I met you because of this song.

This song reminds me of the potential we had, of the beauty it could have brought. Of everything good that was us.

[3] The Birds – Apparjatik

Oh this song. This song, person. This song. This song still haunts me when I listen to it. In hindsight I do admit that I ruined this song all by myself. It was the week you were gone, you told me that your luggage got lost in the airport but then you found it. You told me how you had a moment of peace, and somehow it coincided with mine. I remember sitting where I usually do, with the cotton candy clouds being swept off by the fall wind. A ginger cat lay on top of the tin roof between the asbestos covered house and the building I was in. I think that is what I would call living in the moment; in all it’s glory. And I  was talking to a boy who was telling me what song he was listening to, and the things he wished for.

“10/19/16, 6:50 PM - Me: I'm sitting in Gloria beside the window with my laptop. The wind's lovely. The birds by Apparajatik is playing. The coconut tree's swaying with the wind. There's nobody else sitting around me. I kind of wish I could freeze this moment.

10/19/16, 7:10 PM - You: Aww

10/19/16, 7:10 PM - You: Its 2 pm, I'm at a Bubba Gump Shrimp place, sitting with my nieces. Only just a dream by Nelly(?) is playing. You: I wish I could live in London for a year”

I wished I could live elsewhere too, and in that moment I felt as if I understood you, and you, me. It was one of the nicest moments I had with you, even though you weren’t physically there with me.

I know, so far so good. Everything sounds perfect. It was, so I decided to make something that captured this moment and give this as a gift on your birthday. You’d think I’m embarrassed of this, but I’m really not. In my head it would have been a goodbye from me to you. But, well, as we both know - I never got my goodbye.

[4] Poison – Vaults

I told my friend I liked a boy who sent me this song. She got excited. This was probably in the first month of our correspondence. I made a cover art thing with a lyric of this song, and she tried ‘teasing’ me because you sent it to me. I didn’t even think about you when I did this, but because she attached you to it I can’t think about this song without thinking about you.

[5] Unconsolable – X Ambassadors

Even though we were living in our world of indie music, we always had our own personal preferences. I would always prefer the low toned depressing songs, you would prefer the high tone less depressing ones. And yet sometimes we would end up loving songs from the others’ preferences, and this song is definitely a very ‘you’ song that I still listen to. It reminds me of you but it doesn’t bother me much. It’s like the countless other songs we shared with each other, lost the the back of unkempt playlists that I never listen to anymore. Sometimes I do go back to these playlists, and one day I was listening to this in the gym and I got very mad at you. I let all the negative emotions catch up to me, wished you bad things, wished that you would understand that your condition was ridiculous, got angrier when I thought about how you would have picked me if you wanted to. Somehow it went towards my anger towards my ex. Things got a bit odd and convoluted.

This describes most of my bad days regarding you, it would start from you and end at him. Or start from him and end at you.

“I hope we stay Thick as thieves Butter and bread Pillars on colonial homes And I wish I could shout you out False start

Come up to my house Drink with my friends You can lay on my couch Aching to start all over again Go on back to your room Wait a minute, it's my room Was it something I said, Was it something I said?”

Yup, I can apply this for both. Sucko.

[6] A walk – Tycho

You: This song though.

Me: Damn.

You: Right?

[6] Rock Bottom – Jack and the Weatherman

I sent it to you the day trump got elected. You thought I sent it because everything was falling apart; justifiable reaction as our mutual admiration for American politics, Bernie and memes knew no bounds.

But the reason I sent it to you because I felt like I was at the rock bottom myself. I needed to be okay with being platonic with you, and I was very close to never talking to you again. I kept on telling my friend (who was going through a similar situation) that we should nuke things, and everyday we almost did it, but then we didn’t. 

But then something happened and I started talking to you about my ex and to my surprise, you started helping me in ways that a friend would. That’s when I knew how important you were to me. It didn’t matter that we couldn’t be together, it was actually quite fine. You became someone who I wanted to be around just for you being yourself. It was that moment of peace when I didn’t want anything from us. I started accepting that you would need to be with someone else, and that this was everything I had.

[7] It’s a Fluke – Tiago Lorc

I don’t remember how, soon after I accepted all that, in came the mixed signals. And so began what I call the ‘wing it’ part of our relationship. It was what it was. I stopped thinking about it. This song is one of the songs that remind me of how much I wanted you, but I knew I didn’t. I even made a pros and cons list of it all, and the cons outweighed the pros. This would never work out was the official output of all the input data, regardless of what we were.

This reminds me of the nights we used to talk, the nights I would think about falling asleep next to you. Of the gray area we kept on intermittently falling into. Of the luxury that was my need for you.

[8] Let me Down Easy – Max Frost

This song reminds me of the day I realized how it was probably for the best that we were never going to be a thing. I know it sounds like something I’m saying out of spite, but hear me out.

We were talking about traveling and you told me how you would rather not travel alone. You told me how you would rather not spend money towards soul searching, or whatever. It was hard not to take it personally because that was something I was going to do in a while. I had taken you for a person who was spontaneous, I suppose. I think you were at a point in your life. I wanted to be with that person. You told me how we hadn’t really known each other long for me to know what kind of person you were, but I really do think you were changing. The person you were faded away as you came back to the country. And that was perfectly fine because you were okay with it. Moreover, I was at peace with it because I didn’t want this version of you.

Also I like the fact that sending you this song helped you tick off one thing in your to do list.

[9] Casmir Pulaski Day – Sufjan Stevens

I had asked you why you hadn’t sent me any songs lately. You told me that you were simply out of new songs. But then you sent me this, and I fell in love with it and listened to it what it felt like a hundred times the first day. I remember telling you that I cried at parts of this song, and you listened to me. The second day I listened to it on the loop was the day I went out to a shady neighborhood to make your birthday gift. I was so proud of myself for doing it all on my own.

I also cried listening to this the day I knew I would never see you again. It was the day when all bad things happened on Christmas Eve, the day you contributed to my dark day. I remember being unable to breathe as the room felt like it was being sucked into a vacuum as I lay on the bed, broken. I can honestly say that I would have rather never met you if it meant that I wouldn’t have to go through that day again, but let’s face it. It wasn’t all you, it was my life in general and my bad decisions catching up with me.

[10] The Moon Song – Alden Patterson and Dashwood

This was tiring, writing it all down. This whole experience was exhausting, and it was a lot of work for a lot of nothing. I still don’t see the point of why you had to come to my life, although some people tell me that someday I’ll understand.

I love how we have a beginning song and an ending song. Before I was leaving the country I asked you if you’d miss me like I missed you when you were gone. You asked me if you had to tell me again when you did, and I told you once was okay. So you told me you would. And I believed you.

This is our ending song, and I can’t still listen to it without automatically going back to that exact moment where I knew it was over. That was the moment I knew I had fallen for you, and the moment I knew I had to let go of you. I was looking at one of the most beautiful sights I’ve ever had the privileged to look at, and all I wanted was you beside me. It was a shitty feeling, and best friend tried logicing me into believing that it was in my best interests that I don’t contact you. I lied to her of course, and I sent you a text. You never replied.

“Dec 30, 201; Me: The moon song - Alden Patterson and Dashwood

I'm at this cafe that has a view of a temple that touches the sky and there's cold wind breeze though my face with gray clouds in the horizon, good coffee, good music, lonesome cafe.

This is where I miss you.”

That was it, the last song. This was the goodbye I never wanted, but it was what it was.