#and they didn't say anything about it either so im just??
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Lukey abc’s!! im genuinely obsessed
YESSS i love when I get Lukey asks he's so boyfriend 🥹
A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
He's a softie and just wants to cuddle rlly. Pls let him lay his head on your chest with his arms tight around your waist while he gathers himself enough to clean you both up. Reverse the roles too, if you're laying on top of him he'll brush your hair out of your face and kiss everywhere he can reach. He's so whipped for you he can barely really comprehend he has you right here in front of him and he feels so lucky to have you :(
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
His arms on himself, which he didn't even consider until you gushed about them. They're strong and have pretty veins running up and down from his hands and you're constantly holding his arms or running your fingers over them how could he not be a lil confident by now? With you he can't tell if it's your tits or your mouth. Both have aspects he loves ofc but the way your lips feel when you're on top of him kissing down his neck and chest? Unmatched. The way your lips feel wrapped around his dick? Even better.
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
When he cums he literally nearly passes out almost every time. It just hits him like a fucking truck, he can barely hold himself up and that's why he rlly likes when you ride him cause he has to worry about it less.
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
He's a heavyyyy switch lol he doesn't make it insanely known but he would kill for you to domme him tbh. Maybe he'll bring it up one day maybe you already know? The sounds he makes when you're stroking his cock give it away though.
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
He's got a little experience by now but he's not on the same level as Jack or Quinn. That being said he's by NO MEANS bad at what he's doing, you occasionally show him specific little things that make you feel good and he never forgets. Lukey has you fucked out in no time and knows every single inch of your body like the back of his hand.
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
Cowgirl lol, reverse or not he just strikes me as the type to really love having you on top of him. He can still control the situation and fuck you right but if you wanna take the reins a little too you're fully able. Plus, the view of your ass or tits in either of those positions is heavenly so how could he ever ever ever complain? If you're facing him there's plenty of opportunity to kiss you too (his favorite thing to do)
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
He's serious but like in a soft way yk? He's not changing his personality by any means and he's still pretty chatty with you. You still get a view of that cute crooked smile pretty often even in the most intimate moments between you.
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
Kinda like Quinn I feel like he didn't really give a shit until you came along now he tries to look decent for you at the very least. He's not shaving entirely but he'll definitely keep it maintained at the very least.
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
If ur looking for romance you've FOUND IT with him. He can be rough on occasion for sure but his niche is in making you feel like a fucking princess. He makes you feel like you're the only two people on this earth in the moment no matter if you're being soft or if he's fucking you to tears. He makes sure you know you're loved and if he's a Lil too rough with you he'll apologize and shift however he needs to to make it better.
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
Before you, he did it pretty frequently but now that you're around he lets you take over. Your hands feel so much nicer than his anyway, he wonders how he ever got off without you before now. On occasion if he's on a long roadie he's not against it but he's not doing it without calling you and stroking himself to your pretty voice. (He's the guy who'd send you nut videos w the sound on if you asked)
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
Branding. He loves knowing you're his and needs everyone else to know to. He'll buy you jewelry with his jersey number or initials, and gets off seeing you wearing his jerseys or posting pics of yourself in them. To really top it off he loves absolutely COVERING you in hickeys and any other form of visual marker to show you're taken. It bugs him when other people hit on you but he knows you're not going anywhere, you're covered in 43's head to toe.
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
Honestly he'd rather do it at home than anywhere else. He's okay with a little adventure but nothing is better than tossing his girl into his bed and being able to cuddle for the rest of the night after.
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
You, as a whole. Like I said a second ago he loves seeing you in his jerseys too but he also just kicks things off sometimes for the comfort of being that close to you. You can't get closer to someone than being inside them and after a hard day all he wants is to feel you pressed against him while he rocks his hips against yours.
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
he's not gonna hurt you, but he's also not really a big fan of bondage tbh. He needs your hands all over him and he can't really get that if you're tied down. At the very least he'd tie your hands together when you ride him so you can still throw your arms around his neck.
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
He's a big fan of both. His brain short circuits entirely when he's down your throat but he's never gonna skip a chance to have you sitting on his face. That boy loves eating pussy more than he loves breathing and it shows cause he'll damn near drown in it before he stops to take a breath. I think he's definitely like Quinn in that aspect and he'd love a good 69 just so he's getting the best of both worlds. He took your advice cause you were the first person he ever ate out and now he's a fucking pro.
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
It depends. Typically he'll take his time and really savor the moment but sometimes he can't help himself and ruts into you like he's trying to split you in half. The closer he gets the faster and rougher he tends to get too, like he's losing control of his body (really he is.)
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
Not his favorite but he's never gonna turn it down. He'd just automatically prefer undressing you and really drawing it out so he can take you apart how you really deserve.
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
He's down, why not? You two tend to experiment with whos in control pretty often and it's definitely opened his eyes to some new levels of pleasure. He's used to being the more dominant figure but through some experimentation with you he learned he's perfectly fine with being out of control. He's also not as risky as Quinn but every so often some lightttt exhibitionism is fun. (Hotel balcony sex? Sure.)
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
Similar to Jack and Quinn again, he's an athlete he's gonna automatically have great stamina. He'll go as long as you let him but tbh his orgasms take so much energy out of him it takes a bit to recover.
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
Not against using them at all, till he met you he didn't know they could be so great. Vibrators are fun to use on either of you but after a night where you had him leaning back against you so you could jack him off with a fleshlight he's definitely biased on his favorite toy you two have.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
Hes big on teasing but sometimes he doesn't even mean to. He'll wear the sluttiest compression gear known to man and then wonder why you're salivating in front of him like a hungry dog. Once he's aware though he's going out of his way to wear it more often and tease you with showing some skin.
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
Oh fuck he's mouthy. He can't help himself, Lukey is noisy. He'll moan, whine, beg, growl, cry, all of it. The closer he gets the more whimpery and pathetic his voice sounds its fucking heavenly and there have definitely been times you've had to cover his mouth so the neighboring hotel rooms won't complain.
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
It'll definitely be the same for all the Hughes but they're not against sharing you for a night.
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
Lukey is perfect tbh he's probably 7.5ish? Inches and has this nice curve that hits all the perfect spots inside you. Prettiest dick ever actually and you barely have to touch him before he's twitching.
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
Like I said, he'll never turn it down. He's so in love hes pretty much always down to go and every time you cross his mind he can't help but picture how nice you'd look pinned beneath him. The further away he is from you the more he wants you.
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
Lukey would loveee to just cuddle you to sleep after you're finished but its hit or miss. He could happily pass out in your arms but if you're not feeling sleepy he'll get up with you too, he follows you around like a puppy most times.
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Woe! Unfortunate magical accident upon ye, your OC has now been cursed to share pain with their beloved 🔗🤝It's a good thing either of them are not clumsy or accident-prone - unless? Oh no! Hopefully they can find someone who can undo this pesky spell, or just to keep them company until it wears off!
-🔮✨diodellet (hopefully im doin this magic nonon thing right)
Oh
Malleus and Irina sharing pain
...
OH
MALLEUS AND IRINA SHARING PAIN
; ; dio I am so so so sorry this is probably not what you signed up for asking this but uhhhhhh
CW : SELF HARM
Also gonna say right now idk wtf is going on with the structure, or...anything, here? I just kinda...wrote stuff 0 editing
Irina has had a habit, ever since she was little. Not a very good habit, not at all...but one she relied on.
When she felt horrible, as she did often, when her bad emotions and feelings overwhelmed her and became too much for her small body to handle...the only thing she could think to do to release the massive tension boiling under her skin was to hurt herself.
She'd bite herself: bite her lip, and her fingers, and the side of her hands that attatched her thumb to the rest of it. She'd scratch at her scalp and shake her head around trying desperatly to will away the bad thoughts, to just get them all to stop
It was the only thing a young, neglected child who'd never been to school could think to do to release that explosive energy inside her; to direct it outward. But at herself, so no one would notice anything breaking. She couldn't scream, or her parents would become mad at her. She couldn't kick something, or throw something-- she barely even had anything to throw, either. But she could bite. Even as a small child, for that was how she survived physically unscathed in that household, knew better than to try to bite either of her parents.
And biting her plush rabbit Clover, her best friend, was something she'd rather die than do. Clover always comforted her.
So of course...the only remaining target was herself.
And when she bit her hands, bit them hard until they bled, no one would notice her crying.
Even as she went on to live at an orphanage after her mother died and father left at age 9, and even after she was adopted by her uncle and moved in with him at age 13, she kept this habit up.
The pain was familiar. The only anchor she had to cling to when everyone she even thought about trusting kept on leaving her. All for those giant emotions, how scared she was of them doing just that.
She found catharsis in exchanging the emotional pain for the physical pain.
She'd never told anyone about it. She needed to hide it, like she'd always hid everything that could be considered 'bad' about her, so no one would have any reason to dislike her. To survive. And...because she was ashamed. She thought the scars it left on her hands and arms made her 'dirty'.
Something happened-- a mistake in a class shared with the 3d and 2nd years. Someone stumbled, and the spell they meant to cast came out wrong, and accidentally hit Malleus.
Normally he would have moved out of the way in time, but being preoccupied as he was both with casting his own spell, and devoting all his mental focus to thinking of something entirely different, someone entirely different, he was, for once, caught off guard, and swerved too late, a tiny spark of said spell grazing him. But that was enough, apparently.
The spell was one meant to link one of the senses of the one it was cast on, and a person they were thinking of.
Malleus didn't think much of it, knowing it would wear off by itself in time, only making note to be more careful than usual so as not to cause Irina pain. Since he didn't think it would come up he didn't tell her about it.
But later that night...
He felt invisible nails draw harshly across his lower arms, yet when he uncuffed his sleeve to check, he saw nothing. But he felt it. Nails scraping painfully across his skin. And then nails digging into the flesh near his elbow, and a sharp yet also crushing sensationg weighting down on the side of his thumb. Crushing, crushing, crushing down harder and harder until he felt a sickening feeling of flesh being torn open.
In an instant, flecks of green light surged around him and the scents of wet stone and burning wax of his room gave way to the musty odor of an old, off-green house of wood.
Not even reacting to Tomoe's yelp of surprise, he asked her where Irina's room was, having never been inside the building himself before. She said she'd go to get Irina, and he agreed.
Though the pain he felt persisted, no new pain came.
Seeing Grim run down the stairs a short while before Tomoe and Irina, Malleus' pupils narrowed into dangerous slits at the little fire-eared monster, thinking him the culprit.
Thinking he wanted to go on one of their usual nightly walks, Irina just slipped on her shoes and jacket after greeting him, asking if he wanted to go for a walk.
That may not have been why he came there...but who was he to deny her? So as fae cannot tell lies, he simply answered with his honest thoughts: "That would be lovely."
Seeing her outwardly perfectly fine, he started to wonder if perhaps he'd imagined it, or had mistaken something. Perhaps she hadn't been attacked by anyone, and had just gotten her hand hurt on accident?
She walked closer to him than usual that night...but he didn't notice until he felt her small hand slipping into his. When he looked back to her, he found his gaze met with just the mop of her messy, pale pink hair, her face lowered to face the ground to a degree where he couldn't see it. But feeling the hesitant grip on his hand, he closed his fingers over hers and squeezed gently, even as it caused pain to shoot through his hand again.
Throughout their walk, her grip on his hand slowly became tighter and tighter, and his responded in turn, until their hands were clasped so tightly it was almost painful in itself. Thought they both wore gloves, they held on tightly enough that he could feel her heartbeat through her hand, and feel it gradually slow over the course of their walk.
When they'd gotten back to Ramshackle and it was time to say goodbye, he kissed the back of her hand before he left. And with it and the flurry of fireflies, the pain on his hand vanished, the vision of her face a moment after.
In the time until the spell wore off, every time he sensed something similar, without fail, he would appear at Ramshackle and invite her out on a walk.
He didn't know the origin of the pain...but he decided he'd take it away, and replace it with his hand enveloping hers.
@diodellet
#moony's oc writing#mallina 🐉x🐰#🐰irina#malleus draconia x oc#moony's ocs#twst oc#twisted wonderland oc#twst#twisted wonderland
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May kissed me???
Like, I wear a mask and May does not, but we were just standing and talking and then they just kinda looked at me and like--
Kissed my mask over where my lips are?? I'm-???
#panda posts#panda pines#may#like they've kissed my cheek before and i've kissed theirs#but they've never come anywhere close to kissing me on the lips before??#and i wear like the KN95 masks that point out so it wasn't even like i could feel it or anything but like--#ajdjwnxnsjxjsjjsjos#and they didn't say anything about it either so im just??#and then they have also been very cuddly today but i didn't see them at all yesterday so maybe they just missed me??#but uh#yeah#figured the masses (ana) would want to know
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really fucking sick and tired of people who really fucking love the eddie book jumping on people who don't like or are even remotely critical of it's posts and like crusading their opinions around from the top of their high horses and shoving it down our throats.
if you like the book, great! that's awesome! love that for you! i am genuinely glad that you were able to find good in it and enjoy it!!
but not everyone did, and not everyone is going to agree with you. so, instead of going on some grand crusade where you find every single post that includes anything even remotely negative or negative adjacent or even neutrally critical and spending ALL this time and effort trying to provide unwanted rebuttals to every single thing, maybe you should just stay in your lane and find people who DO like the book and chat about it with them.
because i can PROMISE YOU, none of us appreciate it when you come onto our posts and start accusing us of "hating on" the author or "being rude" about her and her work and RIDICULOUS shit like that.
being critical of something and pointing out it's flaws is NOT inherently hating on it. i, frankly, do not know where people got that notion, but it's not fucking true so can we fucking quit assuming it is? and, critiquing something is also NOT the same as saying this is shit and it sucks and the author is a piece of garbage. again, where the fuck that came from is beyond me. you can be critical of something and still enjoy it. as soooo many of you love to point out, it's not perfect, why should it be perfect? so D U H. of course that means criticism can and should arise???
also. hot take (by which i mean ice fucking cold because it's NOT a fucking hot take), but going around toting FALSE facts as part of your "defense" does not make you or your argument look good. you, like the author, should maybe do a basic fact check first. 🙃
tldr, if you like the book, that's genuinely great, but stay in your fucking lane and stop seeking out posts from people who didn't like it to start shit in the notes.
#flight of icarus#stranger things#this has happened to me and to so many of my friends and im fucking SICK of it#i didn't even hate the book either!! i thought it was just okay#and yet i STILL get all these book lovers jumping down my throat about things i say about the book#things that - HONESTLY are not even like that scathing!!!!!#like god damn all im asking for is a little BASIC effort from the author and they all think thats me asking for her head on a platter#its NOT#i have no problem with the author#she's whatever to me honestly just a vessel through which the book was given to us#ALSO she is some nebulous blob way outside my orbit. AS IN any critiques i have of her and her work are NOT direct assaults on her???#like i dont fucking KNOW her#im not saying any of this to her face#she is a published writer she should KNOW the risks she is taking when she publishes her writing#not everyone is going to like it! there are going to be people who are critical of it! there are going to be people who hate it!#critiques and pointing out mistakes and wishing for things to have been different is not a fucking direct attack#those things are actually pretty fucking common responses to ANYTHING#and a lot of times theyre actually meant as useful helpful things geared towards improvement and not something to tear someone down with#some people on the internet need to go touch grass and learn how to CRITICALLY THINK again#the world is not as black and white as you think#n e ways. rant over. if you stuck around through all of that kudos to you. i am just. at the end of my rope with this bullshit.
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Look, I enjoy the Targaryens as much as the next person and think that their house, their family mess, all of it is very interesting. I want a dragon so bad and they are one of the reasons, I get it. But, on the same hand, it gets annoying when people say/act like they are the only interesting house within ASOIAF (this rhetoric is mainly on Twitter, from what I've seen) and it primarily has to do with them having dragons (to which, for a time many Targaryens didn't have after the dance and until Daenerys came into the picture). Look, having dragons is cool and all, but if that's all that makes a house interesting then maybe that house is boring. And, could be just me, but by saying that I feel like it's lowkey disrespecting all the work GRRM put into the other houses and their characters. If the Targaryens are your favorite that's fine, but there's no need to act like the lore behind other houses also isn't just as important. I'm new to this fandom, but there are so many aspects that have pulled me in and it's sad that people ignore it just because it's not a part of one particular house.
#again i enjoy the targs and their messiness#and i want a dragon fr fr!#but im also not going to disrespect the other houses either! they are just as good if not great (acting like the martells didn't give them#a run for their money)#also back to the dragon thing how do you have rhae saying that without their dragons they're just like everyone else#and turn around and go “other houses aren't as cool without dragons” you're kind of proving her point#starks lannisters MARTELLS tyrells so many interesting houses that deserve praise too#asoiaf#a song of ice and fire#house targaryen#hotd#targ stans pls dni if you're going to be mean#also i see some refusing to acknowledge how cool some of these houses are just bc they had beef with the targs and I'm like#come on move on already asoiaf has houses backstabbing one another left & right and moving on right after#even if you dislike one character from said house (fine) that doesn't mean you can't like anything about where they come from#yall can hate on the hightowers all you want but if you look me in the eye and say you'd pick smelly kl over oldtown i know u lying#even the wiki says that kl was hastily made and has a lot of flaws bc of that but oldtown doesn't bc they took time to build#even if i didn't rock with the hightowers like that id still pick oldtown over kl
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Jayce telling vi she won't make it on her own.... okay mr. projector...
#viktor just turned his body into the arcane and you dont even know!!! his leg is purple!!!!#im not going to excuse vi for saying the kid knew what he was getting into bc he didn't bc he is a kid (here we have ms. projector)#but telling jayce he has always been complicit of this he just didnt have to see it... yeah exactly.#and like she obviousky regrets the kid dying but it was jayces fault lmao why does he blow up on her??? the name calling got to him#jayce thinking omg he is going to off himself and viktor just trying to hide the evidence of his murder akdhsksj well yes he does want to...#i was wondering why the council was so Flabbergasted about the nation of zaun?? like they dont care and basically dont intervene#in the undercity bc they don't have any interest or profit in there. they don't gain anything at all from there.#so of course when silco asks jayce says sure fuck it. the only thing the council needs from zaun is the gemstone and its not even theirs#it's probably just fear of agression towards piltover as another nation and not something they can control or repress#silcos reaction to cait being wheeled in akdhaksj it sounds like he said 'what' he probably didnt know the girlfriend part... understandable#i forgor about her bringing the platter out... like ofc i didnt forget it but i didnt see it coming there. with bad memory you can be#surprised every time you watch the same show 👍🏻#i haven't cried because well the foruth time is a stretch now to cry but i still got chills at the end with the missile impacting....#and like whay would have happened if cait didn't free herself.... like ofc she would have bc everyone in that room could have killed her#not vi etc etc but she did just leave her so who knows really#anyways the monsters appearing in jinxs vision when vi mentions her past family is so poignant to her change.... they dont have the intended#reaction vi meant.... and silco is trying to shut her up for jinx's sake and look what happened to him. like vi really couldn't understand#her sister now and maybe back then either.... like not to be a silco apologist but it seems like he was the only one who could handle her#maybe im exaggerating but it would have gone wrong either way i think like no matger how much love there is in between them#idk man its so bad. like maybe this could have been avoided but it would have gone wrong in a different way for sure#and this couldn't have been avoided#talking tag#watching arcane#three weeks away still.... what now....
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everytime i watch shameless I get hit with a jolt of sickness and remember how frank and monica stole fionas life from her and she'll never get it back because it never existed because she was a sister first her whole life (from the age of 4) and everything else second and its always just so casual in the show and normal and rarely touched upon but it's not normal at all and it's tragic
#another post made at 2am that i found in the drafts#but my god its messed up how frank and monica got to live their own lives and how the kids got to have aspirations kinda but fiona was just#always stuck with the feeling of being stuck#cause she was forced to devote a largeee chunk of her life to servitude#its so unbelievably telling of frank and monicas innate selfishness above anything else imo :#their willingness to fulfil their mutual desire to extend the feeling of things such as youth and excitement and fun#to the point that they stripped their own daughter of the ability to experience childhood#education#etc#my memory is hazy but frank definitely was in college and i think monica was too? either way they both got to finish HS / experience it#but not fiona!!! its the opposite of parents sacrificing so their children can have more#they had more than fiona did and didnt give a shit about the fact that they just took from her#(obviously im not saying they had rosy perfect lives as kids teens and young adults— far from it actually)#(but its shockingly clear that they had a great deal more than fiona...or at least less on their plates...)#like when frank speaks of being a boy in college#its like.. these opportunities he threw away while fiona would've loved to have them but instead she had to drop out of HS#against her will#like yes its complicated but bottom line is its just sad how frank and monica were both afforded with control over their lives to a degree#while all of fionas life decisions carried the weight of her whole family and she didnt get to have independent control over her life#like for example she didnt drop out of HS cause she actually wanted to#she just didn't have any other choice
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im actually really worried that im not that interested in &j anymore like ivd been having a hard time writing about it and talking about it online and i mean i talk about it a lot irl but idk like people have been knowing more than me and im starting to feel so incredibly inferior that it's hard for me to enjoy it
#im in this group chaf and im the only one there that doesnt live in new york snf doesnt know any og them irl and theyall know more and see#it a lot and know about the swing order and i dont and ive been feeling so bad about it and it's been so hard for me and then i have friends#that are clearlv better at fandom in general than me so theyre better at characterisation so if i get criticisrd i just feel Terrible and i#havent properly wtitten in ages caude ive been so worried about my characterisation cause a friend very gently criticised me on my character#isation like 2 months ago and i really look up to this person so now i just cant Do anything#and also the thing that they eere pointing out wad more anothrr friend's thing that i didn't even Like much but if someone talks enough i#can be persuaded to anything and also because im just terrified do i#'ll go along with literally anything just because i dont want poeple to hate me#and it's ruining my enjoyment and i mean i made an au and i was hoping that that would make it so that i could maybe write again but nobody#carrd so now i judt cant#i feel so broken right now#also people that were meant to be &j friends are now friend friends and i mean thats Fine#but i cant! handle it!!!#i cant talk about other things unless it's My other things#and i especially cant talk about five nights at freddy's because i used to be hyperfixated on that so now that im.not i just cant! talk abou#t it! or hear about it!!!#not to mention that that game fucking destroyed my life when i was 9 because everyone liked it but i didn't know what it eas anf they wouldn#t explain so now i judt CANT hear about it!!!!!!#i cant do it i cant. do this#i miss when it brought me so much joy but now i hate talking about it online and i cant do it anymore#i can't pretend to care i can't keep being an &j blog even though i do love it!!!! but i feel so insecure and inferior that i just cant!!!!!#i hate this so mcuh im sorry i needrd to get this out#i dont have anything interesting to say anymore and i mean there's also just like. the whole being autistic thing and not wanting peopel to#judge me for my interests which they have my whole life and now it's too much and i cant care this much anymore. i just can't#i dont have anything to contribute either i cant draw and i can't write anymore and i just dont know what to do#sorry
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My partner finally finished BG3 but has no idea that his ending was actually bad cause he was a pro-Vlaakith githyanki who rode off with Lae'zel but got NO EPILOGUE where Withers points out y'all died im 😭😭😭
they have no idea what happened with Gale or anyone else (who was still alive) after flying away 🙃🙃🙃
#i cant even tell him cause hes gonna play again more “normally”#its so tragic he would like skip dialogue and just fight to get the jump on boss battles instead of waiting for the cutscenes to start#and he didn't exhaust dialogue trees!! like... how... why...#and also he staked Astarion 😭 and p much never reloaded#and didn't clear the shadow curse so no Halsin#also everyone at Last Light Inn died so Dammon was gone and Karlach only got 2 upgrades#and he didnt know moonrise towers was basically a second town#and his game was buggy a lot maybe? cause he kept trying to be hella creative with things and do things out of order#like killing gortash before doing steel watch 🙃#it's fine it's fine everyone plays differently#he tends to care more about gameplay than anything else but still!!#i just want him to know all the character backstories and see everything that made me emotional#i mean he did say he was sad when Lae'zel broke up with him in act 3 and when Karlach died and when he had Gale use the orb in act 2#which he considered his canon ending :/ sigh#i dont think he got Jaheira's lines about death#and he didnt understand why Karlach wouldn't go back to the hells#and he thought Wyll was happy being the duke (and has NO idea you could save his dad cause the mission didn't happen!! 😭)#the iron throne was like my fave mission outside of killing Cazador and I can't discuss either one cause he didn't do them properly yet 😭😭#he also avoided talking to children so he missed those quests and yenna glitched so no cat appeared in camp 🙃#sighhhhh cannot believe he plays so differently than i do lollll#he didn't even do unlimited kisses with Lae'zel!! meanwhile im over here kissing Astarion every night hahahah#hoping my partner doesn't see IRL if I have the office door open as if it matters lmfaooooo#i need him to play again and see why im in love with a video game character lol#maybe we could both um... benefit from knowing more about all of Astarion's scenes lmao#but like he has NOT SEEN Astarion's silly or sweet side yet just him being a bit of a chaotic vampire#and thinks i like him cause of vampires WRONG!! play the game again and see that i love his silly & sweet real self!#bg3 spoilers#baldur's gate 3 spoilers#bg3#baldur's gate 3
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the 2001 planet of the apes is so good to me. like, the 1968 version will always have a special place in my heart because the makeup magic was... dare i say... very magical, but i liked how the 2001 one leaned into a more biologically accurate angle. like, those are straight up apes. no wonder humans aren’t speaking as a survival tactic, those things could hurt you without even trying. again, the 1968 one was so good and impressive but the fact that taylor could overpower the actors that were playing gorillas was a little jarring lol. which makes sense, cos so much of his escape plan relied on him being strong enough to push people out of the way.
this isn't a complaint btw! they're just people in costumes---they are still very much giving ape, but there wasn't much they could do about that on a physical level. so, when the 2001 had these big hulking gorillas and more accurate looking chimpanzee faces on the screen, i appreciated that detail about the humans exploiting their fear of the water. it leveled the playing field without making the fight against the apes look like a losing battle
#i do really love that u can still tell it's makeup though#i feel like people say that as an insult bc it apparently “takes them out of the story” but like. cmon#cgi or not they're not real apes either way#i explained this so horribly as per usual :(#but im just saying that those mfs---especially chimps---are STRONG#like if we wanna get technical the gorillas at the beginning had to have been making a conscious effort not to use ALL their strength#when they were hunting the humans in the 1968 movie#otherwise they prob just would have died/been severely injured by just being manhandled into their cages#i think the only hint of ape strength we got is when cornelius straight up murdered that mf just by whacking him in the head w a lunch tray#im no movie expert (far from it... i cant be trusted to analyze anything really) but i did rlly like the 2001 version for a lot of reasons#the first one obviously being what this post is about: addressing the natural strength advantage apes have. which is why they don't use gun#bc why even give humans a sliver of a chance to get the upper hand#also they officially addressed why they hate monkeys! i mean u could kinda assume why but the confirmation was nice lol#i lowk didn't understand how the apes rose in that movie like even tho it was weird in the 1968 version#at least they dedicated several movies to the concept#woah these tags got long! thank god for this sideblog cos im not even embarrassed about it#ah shoot i forgot to add actual tags!#planet of the apes#planet of the apes 2001
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i am. so fucking hurt right now.
#. he literally pretended to be my friend for nine months just to turn around and block me on everything. vent to my boyfriend about#how shitty I am. all the while I didn't even do fucking anything to him.#tell me I'm “downplaying” the situation of what I did. and at the same time#show a mutual friend of ours “what I did” behind my back. just to for that friend to agree that. I WASNT BEING RUDE#turns out hes been talking shit on me behind my back to my boyfriend this whole time. while acting like we're friends.#I confront him about something. he proceeds to flip out. curse at me. call me an asshole after I tell him something he did to hurt me.#and then he BLOCKS ME ON EVERYTHING#AND AFTERWARDS. TELLS MY FUCKING BOYFRIEND THAT IM HARD TO TALK TO. BECAUSE I EITHER GET HOSTILE OR SHUT DOWN.#WHEN IT WAS HIM DOING BOTH THOSE THINGS. AND ME TRYING TO HAVE A CONSTRUCTIVE CONVERSATION ABOUT HOW HE HURT MY FEELINGS A WEEK PRIOR#AND IT MADE ME HAVE A TWO DAY MENTAL BREAKDOWN#AND ALL HE HAS TO SAY ABOUT *THAT* IS THAT I NEED TO WATCH WAY I SAY AND LEARN TO TAKE CRITICISM#I'm just so confused. I've been crying all day dude idk wtf I even did.#I couldnt even focus in class.#so uh. if you hear how shitty I am from marc. please let me know what exactly I even did to warrant this 😭#wtf man
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You ever look for a specific word/thing to describe a feeling you're having and think you've found it but as you look more into it it turns out it was a simular concept but very distinct from what you were looking for? And then when you try to be more specific everything that pulls up is still the same close but definitely not the same thing to describe it? I'm a stuck in a bit of a loop at the moment
#Been having this odd feeling of just. Nothing being real I guess. Or just me not being real or events not feeling real#I was trying to find a word for what I was experiencing and found 'Depersonalization' and 'Derealization'#(I think I spelled those correctly)#From a first glance the descriptions fit perfectly but as I read more in depth it. Didn't quite fit#It felt adjacent to the unreal feeling I've experienced but definitely not the same#It's like a different flavor#I don't feel detached to my surroundings and myself#I just. Don't feel very real. Or at least very human at least#I don't say that as in im something more than human or anything like that#More like something about me specifically just falls short of being one#And with the events thing it's more just like so much has happened and they've all been so bizarre that they just.#Don't feel real either!#Like yes I'm still experiencing them and being effected by them#But it feels more like the way dreams or over dramatic stories go if that makes since#I still haven't found the right words for these feelings. I hope I do eventually.#I feel like knowing what's causing it/what it is would help ground me more#Whatever it is those two words definitions/symptoms just don't feel right#Does this count as a vent?? I mean it not really a solely negative feeling#I do feel like it could be upsetting/unsettling to others and my come off as venty so I'll mark it as such just in case#tw vent
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i have this thing where sometimes i see a smooth surface (cgi is specifically bad for this) and some part of my brain goes. hey wouldnt it be fucked up if that was Flawlessly and Perfectly Smooth. and i go yeah that would be fucked up and proceed to have an anxiety attack over the concept of a really really really flat rock face or some shit like that
#howling#and then the other people in my brain MAKE FUN OF ME FOR IT#i dont get it either!!!!#like part of my obsession with deep water stems from a reoccurring. uh#it wasnt a nightmare or anything because i would be awake it was like. a vision. or hallucination i guess but idk if it was one for real#but it was like. a glass of water but the glass was perfectly smooth and the water was perfectly flat and didn't ripple#so all the sides were SUPER smooth#and it doesnt SOUND fucked up but the actual image itself was the scariest goddamn thing imaginable#i dont See It anymore (it used to be if i even THOUGHT about it it would show up)#but sometimes ill see something and i get the Water Glass Terror (tm) again without the actual water glass#all this to say that i watched the first episode of that ashoka show today#and in like the second scene she cuts holes in the ground with a lightsaber and it fucked me up a little bit#anyways the only reason why im sharing it is because there really isnt a pattern#on what smooth surfaces do or do not trigger the Water Glass Terror#and even then any given thing only works once#like even with cgi sometimes itll hit REALLY hard and other times? nothing#idk man im just still feeling it a little bit and want to get some of this shit off my chest#catch me oversharing on the oversharing webbed sight <3
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i don't feel like studying any of the subjects from The Plan rn but everything else is so boring that i also don't want to waste time on like watching content or something and i would rather switch subjects then give up on studying for the day and by old me standards ive already done enough but new me i still feel like i can do more but i don't know what ughhhhh this is torture
#okay so The Plan is#i mean not that anyone would care or understand but i like writing on tumblr like a diary#The Plan is to finish law in one month so i can give the online test and this js non negotiable because there's two#online tests and i have to do ATLEAST one before this year ends or it will be too much#and then to finish my backlog of direct tax till like 10th so i can give that test and be caught up with the rest of the class#and there's about 35 more 2 hr lectures to go (rip me)#oh also i haven't touched audit in ages and backlog is getting to the i can't breathe under this burden levels and classes resume on like#10th 11th something and i want to rejoin with them#the plan is to have all this done by november so in December#i can focus on catching the fuck up with fr and afm because like ive attented SOME classes like sparingly#and i know it but very upar upar se so i have to do it properly once or ill die#yeah that's it that's The Plan#it's doable i think i calculated hours days wise and everything#but like. theory subjects are fucking hard to do constantly because either they're boring asf (like law and audit)#or they're complicated and make me cry from frustration (like direct tax)#mann.#now that im actually studying#i feel so irrationally scared for how chill and like. blaise attitude i had towards inter exam#i had absolutely no idea everyone else was studying so deeply like tax syllabus first half is the exact same as inter#just a little advanced and sir keeps saying ye toh aapne inter mein padha hi tha and im like hain??? bhai itna sab tha????? i had no clue😭#like how tf did i pass my dad says not to tell anyone that i didn't really study for it cause ppl will think#aise hi farzi ca finalist ban gayi but like tunblr so wtvr#but yeah how tf??? could i pass???????#like i actually start to panic when i think about how less i had studied which makes no sense since it's not like they can#take away the result or reverse it or anything it doesn't matter now#but like just woah. like i can't even explain#i remember for tax all i watchef was marathon and usme bhi i got bored (THE DAY BEFORE EXAM!!!) so i skipped#the main topics that had crazy weightage and just did a number of tiny topics and studied only enough#to get passing#dt irl is VAST i can't believe these people learn such specific things that if iss date se iss date mein hai toh section 54 ka exemption
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not someone commenting on tams to tell me to update taob. what if you fucked off forever
#the actual nerve of some people like it's bad enough getting those kinds of comments ON taob#bc obviously any comment along the lines of 'im literally begging you to update' is gonna piss the fuck out of a writer#BUT TO DO IT ON A DIFFERENT FUCKING FIC????? HAVE A HORRIBLE DAY#and the fact these people not only dont think they're doing anything wrong but think they're COMPLIMENTING ME#'i love your writing so much please update taob' IS NOT A FUCKING COMPLIMENT. LET ALONE ON A FIC THAT HAS NO RELEVANCE TO TAOB#WITH NO MENTION OF TAMS IN THE COMMENT EITHER. NO 'I REALLY LIKE THIS FIC. UPDATE TAOB' not that that would make it okay#but the utter audacity of it all is jarring. how are you gonna clearly have read tams and felt the need to comment#just to have NOTHING to say about it and tell me to update a different fic. actually fuck off#ending the comment with 'okay i love you' do you now. do you really. well it's unrequited babe. fuck off#you people make me mad sometimes istg#'hella why are you always so negative about taob's popularity' when i get something good out of it i'll let you know#edit: they left that comment on ch1 of tams which actually implies they didn't even read it which is somehow. worse#like they've clearly just clicked on it with no regard for the passion and effort i put into it seeing as it's a WHOLE SEPERATE FIC#and considered only that i might give the comment more attention if it was on tams not taob. what the actual fuck is the thought process#in what WORLD is someone taking that as a compliment. in what world am i gonna go 'omg writing it rn just for you bestie 🥺'#actually fuming about this idk why this one has got to me so much the utter CHEEK of it all has really knocked me sideways lmaooo
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#kinda fucked up that 2020 feels like it was just yesterday#and i was like 'damn i guess i havent really felt like a person since then'#but i know that's not true because i didn't feel like a person before that either#I've been in a slow downward spiral since getting covid last year and remembering that the whole time i was in school#i was just doing it because thats what i was told i should do#i dont feel like I've made a single impactful decision ever in my own fucking life#i talked about it with my therapist last year but i cant responsibly afford to go back to her anyways#and its not like ive made any real progress on anything#i probably haven't seen a doctor since i was in high school#i dont know what i want to be called#i dont know what i want to even DO with myself#because I've just been doing whatever my mom says to for so fucking long#i shouldn't have gone to college until i had something i actually wanted to do#and now i have stupid ass loans and for what?#not a fucking degree!#i dropped out four years ago and havent done a goddamn useful thing since!#i feel stupid and useless and directionless#i miss my friends#i wish there was something i was at all good at but i cant even get rid of things i dont want because i dont even know what that means#because if we're looking at it objectively i dont want *any* of the things i have right now#i hate my clothes i hate my room i dont use any of my art tools anymore and even my physical body is rejecting me#i can't even SLEEP right#fucking hell#delete later#my birthday is in a week and im lowkey wondering if it would have been better if my mom never had me lmfao#I've done nothing I've said i was going to do so whats even the point#I've got a cat I've gotta look after for a few days in november so obviously we're gonna keep cruisin but GOD i dont wanna be here#my issues arent even that bad in the grand scheme of things but because theyre happening to me it feels so much more intense because well#my life is the lens in which i experience the world lmfao#ive pretended like everythings fine for all my life but these cracks just keep getting bigger and im really not enjoying that at all!
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