#and they all end up begin either lesbians or bi

[depvotee]

It's so funny to me to give my mom my perspective as a gay person bc she's goes

[gwenfr]

I think I figured another thing that was bothering me about the new episode.

It's the lack of presence from the other main queer characters and the straight ones there being the only one happy.

We had 3 big storyline in this episode for the main ensemble character.

Hen and Karen, the only other queer main characters were nowhere to be seen.

But of the 3 big storylines : 2 were for the straight characters and it was to show them being happy and then the last and only queer one was to show him/them unhappy.

Yes it really does let a bad taste in my mouth...

It's like this episode was taken from the hands of the precedent writers of the season, by a queerphobic asshole who thought "ok, the lesbians can't be seen, the gay loved man have to go, yeah yeah okay have the other gay man who appear total 4 min in a season make a big speech if you want, the bi man must be sad and heartbroken, and yes he need to understand he has to fuck around of course, then we have the straight couple, they're straight, they can be happy and have other babies, the straight man who fucked up his life with his son, yeah he has to be happy, and let him do a 5min dance sequence to show how happy he is, it's necessary !"

It was literally a thing that bothered me sm from the beginning of the Bucktommy love story, it was the lack of interaction with the other main queer couple.

How cool and refreshing for a (queer) storyline it would have been if Tommy and Buck decided to talk it through and go to their lesbian couple friends for council. Hen and Karen also had issue in the beginning of their relationship. And yes, they would never know what it means to be an older gay man or a young bi man, but Karen could talk with Tommy about the fear of heartbreak or really wanting a family and committing to that. Hen could have talk to Tommy about the personal growth she witnessed in Buck for the last 7 years and how Tommy doesn't need to be worried. We could have had such a lovely scene during a little queer dinner with our four main queer characters.

But no, we couldn't have too much queerness in an episode I suppose...and we should be happy with Josh's big speech about queer men at all....

The way the straights were written to overcome their big struggles in this episode and be happy at the end of it when the queer characters were either not shown or shown 2min or written to be sad and heartbroken or either sad and leaving....

Yep, again it was definitely a choice...

[izu]

hey just wanna say that i LOVE your art!!! i’ve seen you on twitter and ugh just can’t get enough of it! also do you happen to have some johnshi headcannons?? cuz if you do i would like to see them all!! :3

thank you so much!!! i hope to draw more.... also get ready bc i have way too many headcanons and this'll probably be super long winded unfortunately . this isn't all of it but its most of it

- kenshi is a heavy sleeper. after moving in with johnny post-tournament he begins to unwind from his former unhealthy schedule that was supported by his yakuza lifestyle. johnny wakes up at 5 am to work out until lunch, and kenshi sleeps in til like noon or 1. johnny thinks its cute

- they either own a fuck ton of cats or ferrets. johnny seems like a ferret guy to me

- they like watching director's cuts of movies instead of actual movies because kenshi can actually understand a little more of whats happening while the directors explain certain scenes and go into depth about the composition and art direction. its a win win situation for both of them

- johnny actually reads a ton of books, but is embarrassed about it. leftovers from being a ""nerd"" in high school. kenshi thinks its adorable and he likes hearing johnny retell the book plot and express his exasperation with it unfolding as he reads

- johnny has a sweet tooth and kenshi has a more refined palette, he will try anything johnny sets in front of him though, even if he isnt much of a sweets guy

- on that same note, johnny is very good at cooking! every other night he plans a meal for them, and it's almost always a winner. lots of japanese style dishes (took some trial and error on johnny's part) because he wants to impress kenshi

- they go to red carpet events together after a couple of years of dating, but for a while they pretended (to the press, too) that kenshi was his newest bodyguard. rumors spread fast though and it ended up being a perfect time to let johnny come out publicly as bi

- kenshi's parents are actually very very supportive. i think he'd be nervous at first but his mom thinks johnny is very handsome and his father agrees its a good change for their family. kenshi has two sisters who absolutely raise hell over kenshi nabbing a sexy gaijin star and he is very embarrassed about it. much to johnny's delight

- they spend every weekend on the balcony of johnny's new loft in his jacuzzi just talking and being sappy. kenshi genuinely gets a lil upset when things come up and they miss their date nights

- everytime kenshi returns to the states after visiting home johnny makes a big scene at the airport. lunging at him, crying sobbing

- kenshi proposes first, but johnny had been nervously trying to wait for a good time to do it himself. one upped. he is still very upset about this well into their marriage as old yaois

- kenshi is the top 👍 i think we all knew this but still

- even if he doesn't need it, its sort of a ritual between them so they never stopped; johnny is still kenshi's sight dog when they go out and he doesn't feel like relying on sento.

- sento's ancestors like johnny a lot and kept being annoying about kenshi needing to get hitched already hskw7kejej

- kenshi is achillean, gay. always has been. his arrangement with suchin was. arranged. and she was his lesbian beard for a while. the two are very very close and she visits their home often. johnny is trans and bisexual, but he's only out about being bi.

- johnny tends to have a really shitty sleep cycle, light sleeper, easily thrown into insomnia, the busy street life can really fuck up his routine when hes already had a terrible day. which ends up with the both of them on the couch, talking, watching a show, kenshi with his head on johnny's shoulder. they fall asleep like that 7 times outta 10

- the older they get the sappier and grosser they get . everyone who knows them hates their gay asses . jax and sonya included

- also they both get dad bods when they get older bc of all the good eating. neither are insecure about it. its hot

- kenshi is undeniably the spoiled one. gifts, fancy dinner dates, unrelenting affection and praise. he starts believing he deserves good things, that he is loved, solely by johnny's persistence with showing him instead of telling him

- cris ends up being their friend again after a while. i just dont like the cris villainization when its contrasted with johnshi support. she had her reasons to be upset at her alcoholic, spending-addicted husband, y'all

- johnny like action/sci fi movies. kenshi likes romcoms.

- they host parties. they're awesome parties.

[reviewsthatburn]

*I received a free review copy in exchange for an honest review of this book. 

THE INNOCENT SLEEP, best read after SLEEP NO MORE, is Tybalt’s perspective on the time after Titania’s actions at the end of BE THE SERPENT. Because Tybalt has a radically different perspective than October (even more so than usual), trying to read this book first would spoil some mysteries out of turn. By necessity, as the books are a pair covering much of the time and even a few of the same scenes, some of the resolution is present in both. I love them singly and together, and am working on a long, spoiler-filled essay analyzing some of the key elements in both books.

Full Review at Link

[nieves-de-sugui]

The Story of Live Action BL in Japan

This is an extra post to accompany the history of BL post I did earlier. 

Japan has had live action BL long before Thailand entered the picture. It was however mostly melancolic stories or manga adaptations, until their own particular boom happened. I make a difference between what I would call LGBTQ+ representation and BL Live Action, because even though they have existed parallely they are fundamentally different in their conception. Here is an interview with the curator of an exhibition that was held in Japan about the history of Japanese Queer Cinema. 

The evolution of Japanese BL Live Action has been very slow, and mostly influenced by manga. It is still not a big market, but it has improved a lot in the most recent years. This is my attempt to put it into phases:

The indie like movies and bad manga adaptations

Let’s start with Boys Love (a movie), shall we? 

It is the year 2006 and up to this point there has been a small boom of gay stories in the 1990′s (the first Tokyo International Lesbian & Gay Film & Video Festival was held in 1992 me thinks this might have sprung the yaoi debates). In the 2000's, we're at the start of a new little boom on BL type movies being made. Many of which would be directly released in DVD, with a constant melancholic and tragic approach to love stories between young men. 

Homosexual love is only attarctive to the mainstream if it’s painful. Like typical japanese imposible loves that are explored because of the passion and innevitable tragedy (it’s a japanese trope of almost any kind of romance movie, up to these days). its the intensity of feelings and the poetry of it all. In Boys Love we see those elements that are now very common in BL manga. Straight men falling in love with beautiful young boys and loving them until their tragic end. The movie was released in theatres and was successful enough to get a sequel. Here is a very good review of the movie, to know more about it.

A number of similar movies (with happier endings) follow through. Then enters the Takumi kun series. Based off one of the most popular yaoi novel (and potentially the first live action novel/manga adaptation of BL), it has all the June tropes: Traumatized feminine Takumi, raped by his older brother when he was young, has developped an abberation to human touch which prevents him from making friends. He goes to a boarding school for rich kids where he shares a dorm room with Gii, the most popular kid on the premises, who has fallen in love with him. And it is through that love that Takumi gets over his illness and heals from his past. It was such a success in the BLsphere that it got 4 more movies. I believe it is the bane of @absolutebl existence. 

After the first Takumi-kun movie, the production of BL type movies, or adaptations of manga gets a boost. We go from no more than 3 movies a year to 8 in 2008, ie:

Kindan no Koi Ai no Kotodama Taiikukan Baby

And so it continues. When a manga is popular enough it either gets a Live Action, a drama CD (voice actors record the manga dialogues) or/and a series of OVAs (Original Video Animation). Because that’s how they do marketing in Japan. I believe most, if not all, of these movies go straight to DVD. It’s a treat for the fans. 

The beginning of the shift

As the manga source starts to evolve, so does the live actions. Japanese society starts being more aware of the LGBT (as the term is used for business startegy purposes). As it’s all about what is going to sell, slowly, a slight neutral realism starts to be felt. Melancoly starts to be replaced with happier moods. 

The first adaptation I genienly enjoyed at the time was Seven Days, 2015. A 2 part movie, adapted from the manga, with a very simple story (still no characters properly defined as gay, but maybe they could count as bi?)

While more LGBTQ+ movies get made, the BL Live Action movies remain in the same vein. Adpating what is popular and sticking to the tropes of the time. For example, in 2017 we get simultaneously:

BL - Hidamari ga Kikoeru. A loud and energetic college student becomes friends with a hearing impared classmate, as he helps him take notes for class. 

LGBT - Close Knit. An 11 year old girl gets tossed aside by her mother and goes to live with her uncle, who is dating a transgender woman. 

The Middle Aged Man Phenomenon

Have you wondered why office settings are so popular in japanese BL? Well, it is mostly Ossan’s Love fault in my opinion.

Besides office romances being a staple of japanese tv dramas, in 2016 two major mainstream actors (Tanaka Kei and Yoshida Kotaro) participate in a small short film about a salaryman who discovers his boss is in love with him. A simple comedy filled with misunderstandings and funny shenanigans. As the response to it was very positive, they decided to turn it into a full flegged series. And so, Ossan’s Love comes out on prime television (TV Asahi) for all to see. It is the first time we see a story like this being shown in a mainstream channel, for all and anyone to see.

A year later after the success of Ossan’s Love we get the wonderful Kinou Nani Tabeta/What Di you Eat Yesterday? (2019), which would not have been possible without Ossan’s Love. There was confidence that there was a market for such a story. Followed by the OL movie: Ossan’s Love: Love or Dead. Which was later followed by a horrible horrible second season that nobody wanted. On this year too, Mood Indigo comes out. A sequel to The Novelist/Pornographer, which would secure it’s popularity. It later got a second season.

We are now in a second boom of interest in queer stories. And the number of movies and tv shows grow. Some of the most known:

Novel adaptation - Fujoshi Ukkari gay ni kokoru LGBT Movies - His Dramas - Life: Senjou no Bokura

Queer voices have been increasingly loud and, in 2015, two municipalities put in place a partnership to acknowledge same sex relationships (not recognized outside of those municipalities unfortunately). 

And so, start mixing the homophobia free idealized stories, with more diverse queer content, with the harsh realities of LGBTQ+ people, and the cinematic interest of the filmmakers/directors. 

The rise of the salaryman and the thai breakthrought

Thanks to the appeal of middle aged men, Japan now knows there’s a market to be had in producing BLs, so the adaptations sprout like mushrooms. The ground is ready to bear fruit, and so enters thailand with the big success of 2gether at the beginning of 2020. 

Japan got to have the movie screened in their theatres. Thailand has broken the Japanese market barrier, as soon as the borders open after the pandemic, fanmeetings are held there one after the other.

And then, we get Cherry Magic in late 2020, which continues to cement that the current japanese BL boom is still going strong. 

The Aftermath

The production of BL shows and movies reaches its peak and we get 26 (shows and movies) in 2022. Movies, specials and second seasons are being made.

From Utsukushii Kare 2021 to Strange 2023. Old and new manga gets an adapation and more queer representation grows in media overall.

The story of LGBT representation in shows in Japan

As an extra, I want to put here a few examples of how queer characters, and stories have entered the mainstream of japanese tv dramas. Many mainstream actors have also taken upon portraying such characters. 

Pretty Proofreader (2016) - featured a gay side character, not relevant to the plot.  My Brother’s Husband (2018) mini series - adaptation of Gengoroh Tagame’s manga about a man overcoming his homophobia through getting to know his bother’s husband Life As A Girl (2018) mini series - the life of a lesbian trans woman  Ie Uru Onna S2 (2019) - one episode features different types of LGBT people who want to buy a house and the difficulties they face. Also had some type of side gay stoyline (a little queerbaity)? Ore no Sukato, doko Itta? (2019) - a gay man who dresses as a woman becomes a teacher at a highschool and helps with his is student’s problems.

Special mention to Residential Complex (2018). 

A drama that featured 4 families living in the same residential unit, each with their own fundamental problems. The father in the traditional japanese family was unemployed, the man engaged to a younger second wife who wanted no children ends up having to take care of his son from his previous marriage, the young newlyweds that are eager to have kids can’t concieve and the single architect is actually living with his boyfriend. It was a show that had worked with an LGBT organization to make a faithful protrayal of LGBT realities. 

Final Thoughts

Here is a list of all Japanese BL and Queer media, Japanese BL list. I recommend to check it out to see the variety of adaptations being made today. It is intersting to see the differences in plot in the shows that are adapting current manga (Our Dining Table) and those adapting older manga (Candy Color Paradox). There is also a lot of queer movies and shows worth checking out. Here are my recommendations:

Kamisama no Ekohiiki (series)

Both Me and Him are the Grooms (movie)

I think it is great that Japan is intergrating queer stories and voices to their BLs, as well as adapting more content to the screen. It is a very exciting moment to be living through, but it still feels like it might go away just as fast as it came. Japan is a very conservative country, that embraces change so very slowly. Queer vocies are making noise, but they have yet to manage to make their government listen. Japan is very setback in this sense.

I do no think Japan will be able to have a BL market similar to Thailand for its live action adaptations any time soon. They stick to what they know, which sometimes can be very good and others, bad.

I do hope for BL to keep on doing what it does best for society: subtly normalizing queer lives so that conservative people start welcoming the idea that they're just regular people (who deserve rights, come on Japan). 

Hopefully we’re headed there.  

[suckishima]

kagehina, sakuatsu, yamayachi, kiyoyachi?

Ohhhh so many omg I'll try to keep this concise.

Kagehina: Absolutely makes sense, oddly does not compel me (at least romantically)

I go crazy insane for them as like narrative soulmates, rivals who are obsessed with each other for life. They both have this insatiable hunger for the sport that makes them feed off of each other in this singular way that I can't imagine either of them would ever have with anyone else. Furudate is a genius for the way they intertwine the kagehina relationship, it's so fucking good.

That being said, it's because they compel me so much in that way that they don't really work for me as a typical romantic ship. I totally get why it does work for people though, there's a LOT to work with.

Sakuatsu: Omg don't come for me but uhh, they don't make sense and it does not compel me...

😫 Sorryyy I just don't gett it. They barely speak in canon and I always saw their dynamic as mild at best. And then a lot of the interpretations I see of them in fanon aren't really my personal taste. Also I think my apathy toward them also comes from me being really picky about how Atsumu is characterized in fanon stuff

Yamayachi: Oh yeah this makes sense, but also does not compel me.

It's fine, they're cute. But that's about it for me. It just doesn't go much deeper than that I think and I enjoy them better as friends. Friendship potential HUGE I think tho, I think they'd have a lot to bond over in terms of like, feeling like they're on the outside, and just general anxiety things too. (plus i generally hc yachi as a lesbian and yamaguchi as bi and i always like to imagine them bonding over that when yamaguchi figures his shit out, but i'm pretty loose about how strictly i apply headcanons like that and it's not at all the main factor in not compelling me to them as a ship)

Kiyoyachi: Heyyyy the first makes sense AND compels me! Yay!

Not sure I even need to defend this one lol. SO many scenes, so many. Yachi is in love with her, borderline canon—and attracted to her? even closer to canon lmao. But of course their bond is more than just whatever fledgling crush Yachi probably has in the beginning, theres genuine care and respect and understanding.

The problem is,, and it hurts me, but they compel me the most when they're one-sided.. I think this is mostly bc of how affected I am by canon. I love them, I love them together, but also the potential for angst with them is SO high that I end up not engaging much with them as a pairing bc I don't like to read sad things about characters I love lmao. But then if I read happy fluffy things where they're the main pairing being explored, it sort of just feels, off to me—and while it's nice and cute, it compels me less?? Idk it's weird push and pull. Fanart rather than fic is the perfect happy medium with them for me, I think

Send me ships and I'll talk about whether they compel me!

[myeyesandheartadjust]

Thoughts while listening to The Mad Ones (fully) for the first time

Disclaimer:

I've heard a smattering of songs already but keep getting distracted while trying to listen to it from beginning to end

It took two days to get through it (it's a heavy musical, y'all!)

I definitely look at this through a queer lens

Here we go!!

Starting off strong with The Girl Who Drove Away

"Leave the fear and doubt behind! Choose the road less traveled! Not the memories to real! Not to guilt that leaves you paralyzed!"

"If only i could turn the key...." This whole song is just Sam needing a hug

Hi Kelly!!! 👋 👋

"Map's are for brain deads"

Sam, you don't sound convinced about college.

"But what if she doesn't?? OH TWIST!!" KELLY 🤣🤣 Also, i was right

"Not a memory jumble" 🤣

For real though, WHY DO SAM'S MEMORY JUMBLES SOUND SO PRETTY

"I was figuring out who I was – the whole year – saying what I wanted, doing it, and one day the phone rings....." Oh, Sam :(

"What? You think it's gonna bite?"

"LET'S GOOOO!"

"She believed in listening to the highway. You start driving and keep driving. There's no stopping 'til Kelly says you're arrived."

There's queer vibes in this song, and I'm here for it!!

"Very slow, Brown." I can picture the smirk and the look Kelly's giving Sam, and it's very gay

"Freedom! Freedom! FREEDOOOOOM!"

I love how Sam's saying big things and Kelly's all like, "I want Arby's. I wanna go skinny dipping!" 😂

"Let's go! Let's go! Pick a road, pick a highway. Any road is going my way. Let's go! Live it up with no complicated philosophies!No college, no career! No kids, no fancy house! No! Let's go! ANY ROAD BUT THE ROAD WE'RE ON!"

"NO COLLEGE! NO CAREERS! NO SCREAMING KIDS! NO MORTGAGE!"

"There's something buried within here, a lesson to keep, the impulse, the life force, the diving in deep. I feel it. The chaos. I usually flee. If I hold on right here, could I learn to just BE?!" 😭

"Don't talk about it. Live it. Don't feel the loss of it. Feel it." 👀

"Trees blurring into nothing. And i am nothing. And she is nothing." Poetry! Also gay vibes!

"It's so real and so like a memory. And the sun is so bright that I'm squinting. And it feels like I've found FREEDOOOOOM!"

Kelly and Sam being rock stars is so funny, and it sounds like car rides with them would've been epic

Sam singing in Ordinary Senior Year is so sad 😪

A statistician teaching someone how to drive .... sounds like a recipe for disaster

"Sam failed her drives test...four times!" I was right 😁 Poor Sam! Half of them weren't her fault but still!!

"DRRRRIVE!!"

Top Ten is a really fun sounding song. If you heard it out of context, though, you'd be like what!

"Old age. Lame! Impossible!" 😂

Some of these are really hilarious, like the alien one, the mentos, and the poor Sting one!

"Hit by a car on the way home from the library." 👀 Ouch! Is that how she actually died?

Sam and Adam... okay??? Sam can be bi but Smple As That sounds like a friendship song (minus the makeout bit)

"For sure. He's the perfect guy for a girl like me." SUURE!! Sam

The Proposal = a song that would sound incredibly weird out of context and one that i can't take seriously

Sam, if you're this conflicted over this about wanting to have sex with him, you're probably NOT in love (or like) with Adam. Not even for pancakes! (Also, I can see a side note, but I can see Sam as ace/aro and secretly wanting a QPR with Kelly or being a closeted bisexual/lesbian)

Lyrics like "Feel your carnal urges taking hold" and "EMBRACE YOUR DESTINY," is why I can't take this song seriously

Kelly's with a TA. Okay, Kelly's either deeply repressed about her love for Sam or is bi. Or both!!

"All alone. Was I lost, or was I alive. In the space in the hole, she CREATED!"

Yeesss The Mad Ones!!

Jack Kerouac quote my love 🥰 (This song introduced me to it, and I fell in love with it)

"IF WE'RE GONNA GO, WE GOTTA GO TONIGHT!"

"Pushed to the edge, out on the ledge. Will you die out or burn, BURN?!" 🔥🔥🔥🔥

"'CAUSE THOSE GOOD OLD BOYS! THEY'VE HAD THEIR GOOD OLD DAYS. BUT NOT THEY'RE GONE, AND NOW THEIR WORLD IS OURS TO TAKE."

Here we gooo!! "We're mad to go. Mad to drive. Mad to be alive. We're chasing stars. A thousand suns. The mad, THE MAD ONES!!"

I know how this song goes, but two drunk girls making a plan to run away sounds A: gay and B: like a recipe for disaster

"STOP SAYING CAN'T! STOP TELLING ME WHAT TO DO!" Kelly is kinda bossy, I'll admit Sam

"It's never or now! YES! Time to take your foot off the BRAKE!"

The key change and the blended harmony is just ahhhhhh!!

The back and forth call of "WHO LET DOWN WHO?!!' So pretty yet so sad in context

"If we'd only gone that night, then I wouldn't be DEAD!!" Still an OUCH every time I get to this part

"YOU! YOU! YOU! YOU!"

"WE BREAK THE LOCK! WE KICK THE DOOR. TO REACH FOR MORE, WE MAKE THE RULES. We MAKE A VOW. TO BE MAD. GIRL, WE'RE WHAT MATTERS NOW!"

The beginning piano and strings of I know My Girl is pretty

Okay, Sam's mom, Beverly, didn't impress me at first, but I kinda like her in this song. Now I'm hungry for cookies, though :(

Miles to Go, I'm not entirely sure how it's supposed to fit in the plot, but I love it, and it would sound lovely out of context

Freedom callback!!!!! Ahhh!!

Two really pretty songs in a row and one of them Say The Word being about Sam's relationship with Adam and possible sex?? Wow

"Let me go if it's easier. But say the word, and I might have to stay!"

"I wanna love. I wanna ride. I wanna be the girl by your side!"

Moving On is fun (even though they're avoiding the obvious)

"I'M ALIVE. YOU'RE ALIVE!!"

Freedom melody callback part 2

Go Tonight = the second song I've ever heard from this show and one that got me through when I thought I almost lost a friend

"She was- She was sitting on the roof of her beat-up car, half singing, half laughing, half going too far."

"If we're gonna go, we gotta go tonight. GOOOOOOOOOO OOOO TONIGHT!!! 😭

I saw a clip from what must've been a workshop or preview that had Sam singing the words, "She was everything I loved," instead of, "She was everything I'm not...." and honestly, I think both would've worked. 🥰

"SINKING DOWN IN THIE VOID LIKE A CRATER. GETTING LOST IN A WORLD THAT I CAN'T REWIND. IT'S TOO LATE AND IT'S JUST GETTING LATER!" 😭😭

"I unravel until I REMEMBER, SITTING ON THE ROOF OF YOUR BEAT-UP CAR!" 😭😭😭😭

"What I didn't know was that time doesn't stop - prom still has a theme, the valedictorian still gives a speech on a future she knows nothing about." 😭😭😭

Run Away With Me!! That is the first song I ever remember hearing :)

"We'll be on the road like Jack Kerouac, looking back. Sam, you're ready. Let's go!"

The "I'm not trying to make you a wife here!!" isn't helping your case, pal 🙄

Please tell me you broke up with Adam after this, Sam, because Adam does NOT get to pull a Kelly, wip out a Jack Kerouac reference, and ask you to run away with him!! That was Kelly's role.

"Do you wanna die? Do you wanna fail?" OUCH, considering Kelly's dead and Sam has perfectionist issues

"DRRRRIVE!!"

"If you follow my instructions, I can free you. I can make you alive! I CAN DO IT ON MY OWN!!"

All the overlaps in Drive are pretty

"EIGHTEEN YEARS, YOU'RE MY WHOLE LIFE!"

"I don’t wanna be safe!"

The road you take should feel right…The road will tell you who you are!" 😭

Run Away With Me, and My Mom is a Statistician callbacks

What do I want? What do I need? It doesn’t matter if it’s a mistake. It doesn’t matter if I fail. I have to think big. I have to take control. Even if I disappoint everyone. Even if no one ever speaks to me again. I have to feel something!" 😭😭😭😭😭

"LISTEN TO ME!! I never dreamed of running away, but I do dream about the highway. I start driving and keep driving. I can’t stop 'til I feel alive again!" 😭

I Didn't Say Goodbye = another favorite that I've heard before and a really emotional one

"I can't do this alone." 😭😭

"You’re scared. You should be. If you’re not, you’re not doing it right. You do it now, you do it for you, and you do it alone!" 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

"Be mad, Sam. Be careless and wild and squeeze the life out of every second!" 😭😭😭😭

Kelly's crying, Sam's crying, I'm close to crying!

"And do not crash my car. I’m serious. I will like haunt you." I would laugh at that, but I'm trying not to cry

"You take the risk. You pay the cost. You drive until you're lost. And look around. See where you went. And your life will be a MONUMENT!"

"What did I always tell you? Maps are for braindeads? That's right!"😭😭

"I didn't get to say goodbye! Sometimes, you don't get to say goodbye." 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

"I really miss you. I know, it sucks right?"

"I live in what you do! In what you want to do. Now that I'm gone..... I'm moving on!" 😭

"What do you want Sam? I want the deafening sound of driving fast with the windows down! I want to reach the horizon of IMPOSSIBILITY!"

Now we're back where we began with the theme for The Girl Who Drove Away

"Remember this! The racing heart, the faded dawn. Remember this, before the moment’s gone!"

"Remember feeling like your life begins today. Try to stop and feel each second slip away. Remember this"

"REMEMBER EVERYTHING THAT LED YOU HERE! Each road trip and every single tear!"

"You look back on your life. On the girl you were for eighteen years. You look back one more time. THEN YOU LET IT GO!"

Freedom callback one last time.

"Freeeedom! Freeedom! Freeedom! Freeedom! Freeedom! FREEDOOOOOM!!!"

[beep3]

So spoilers for X-Men #30 ahead

Talon died as she lived, doing pretty much nothing other than existing to serve Synch’s development as a character.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m almost happy she’s gone, I hated Talon and pretty much everything she stood for. From the very beginning the idea of splitting Laura into two characters is just dumb. The only reasoning I can identify is that Marvel wanted to satisfy the fans that wanted Laura to stay as Wolverine and keep her character development from years of comics, and the ‘fans’ that insist she should go back to being X-23, both in title and personality.

Which of course is inherently dumb, anyone who wants Laura to go back to using that name clearly doesn’t understand the character in the slightest, and probably hasn’t read many of her comics either. It’s beyond easy to say that she would *despise* having to go by X-23 again, it goes against pretty much every aspect of her character arc, anyone who insists she should return to being X-23 almost definitely doesn’t actually care about Laura’s personality or character, they just don’t want her to have the Wolverine mantle, feel free to fill in the blanks for why that is. Although I’m sure they’ll insist they wouldn’t mind if she went by another mantle instead, like talon.

Regardless, Talon always felt like a low-effort way of making Laura act like she did as X-23 again, with the added effect of tying her entirely to a random relationship of one-sided character development.

So I can’t say I’m too choked up that Talon died, but the realisation that this is the ‘original’ Laura Kinney that we watched escape the Facility, make human connections for the first time, progress and learn to be more than a weapon, to learn that she’s a real person who is valued and loved, the character we saw grow for over twenty years of comics in such an insanely well-executed character arc, the idea that *this* is how she died, doing nothing other than serving Synch’s development is just outright sickening. Or at least it is to me, someone who is way too invested in a fictional comic character for their own good lmao.

Not enough people talk about how random their relationship is, Laura and Everett interacted maybe *once* in their entire publication histories before the Vault, and randomly over one issue they end up in a relationship, no setup, no real interaction, they just apparently decided to start dating because they were trapped in the vault for hundreds of years?

I’ve always believed Laura was queer, Craig Kyle has stated a desire to write a story about it, Marjorie Liu even supposedly intended it in Laura’s solo series, I don’t mind if she’s bi, a lesbian, trans, etc, but even outside of a queer relationship there were *countless* other characters Laura has formed bonds with over the years that would of made more sense than just randomly deciding to have her date a completely random character out of nowhere.

Of course this isn’t the first time it’s happened, Laura has a weird history of romance that pretty much constantly caused that to happen. Angel did the same, and even practically abused Laura, mocking her for cutting herself, and generally mistreating her throughout their relationship.

Throughout New X-Men her relationship was pretty similar, focusing a lot more on Julian’s/Hellion’s development more than her own, of course in Marjorie Liu’s X-23 series the tables got turned and the inverse happened, so I guess that evens things out?

Regardless, the relationship with Synch feels especially creepy, trapping Laura in a vault for years and basically forcing a relationship is dodgy enough, but the way it’s phrased in this panel is just even creepier.

Is there really a message to take from all of this? Not one that I can find. Maybe that Laura just has bad luck with the number 30? Pretty sure All-New X-Men #30 is when Laura’s creepy relationship with Angel started. It’s interesting that Talon or Wolvie-Laura didn’t die like how she was foreshadowed to in the Infinity Comics.

I guess the real potential message you can take is that Talon isn’t *really* dead? My best guess is that they’re going to telepathically fuse both Laura’s together again, which I guess is the best case scenario, I can only hope the Synch relationship doesn’t follow…

[idrellegames]

Wayfarer Dev Log 2023.01.05.

Hi friends,

Happy New Year! I hope you all had a great holiday, if you celebrated. 💕

December was a quietly difficult month for me. I pushed forward with the Episode 3 Part 1 material, but hit burn out a week or so into the month. I reached a point where I disliked everything that I had written, felt stuck with the new content I was creating, and was unhappy with the progress I was making.

The challenge with interactive fiction is that for complicated moments that reflect a wide berth of player choice often leave the writer feeling stuck in a time-loop. You may write 2000 words a day, but it’s difficult to feel progress when those 2000 words are part of a single variation and you still have to go back and tackle the same plot beat from several more angles.

This is the nature of the beast—in order to achieve narrative flexibility and allow the player to actually roleplay and feel like their choices are meaningful, you often have to revisit similar plot beats several times over from different angles.    

Instead of struggling with it, I decided to take some time off in order to rest and recuperate. I got sick twice, and I’m still recovering from flu/cold. It’s not a great start to the year, but I am trying to get back on track and hopefully will have an alpha update soon.

✦ THE PUBLIC BUILD [VERSION 1.1.2. PATCH 2.5]

No new patches were released in December.

As mentioned in last month’s dev log, the next public update is TBD. As I want to finish both Episodes 3 and Episodes 4 on the alpha build before updating the public one, the next public update won’t happen until we’re well into 2023.

There is a major bug in Episode 2 that affects playthroughs with high Aeran friendship (+60 approval). Chances are most players have encountered it without knowing it. There is a specific spot in a conversation with Nova where a single romance point can be gained. This point will lock you out from the friendship reconciliation scene at the end of Episode 2. Because the romance bar is hidden on non-romance paths, you cannot see whether you have gained this point or not.

This bug will be patched out in the next patch. The recommendation will be to replay the episode from the beginning to ensure you don’t have miscellaneous romance points accumulated.

If you want to replay it now and avoid the dialogue option that gives you the bug, restart from the beginning of Episode 2. When the MC is talking to Nova on the Dareia, you will encounter a passage where the #1 option is either:

1. “Anything to keep Zenaida happy. You, on the other hand…”

or

1. “If you’re done being helpful, I’m sure you have something better to do.”

Choosing either of those options while your approval with Aeran is 60 or more will net you the accidental +1 to romance and a notification that Aeran’s approval (not his romance) has gone up. To avoid the bug, choose the #2 option.

This bug will not affect your playthrough if your approval is below 60 or if you selected Aeran’s romance in Episode 1.

✦ THE ALPHA BUILD [VERSION 1.1.2. PATCH 2.5]

Episode 3 Part 1 is still in development. The current material is approximately 257,000 words.

This new content has not been coded and added to the alpha build yet.

✦ PATREON UPDATES

A retrospective on Wayfarer’s earliest prototype (with a playable demo) was released on Dec 3. [Apprentice tier+]

Bi-weekly progress reports about Episode 3’s development. [All tiers]

Weekly Sneak peeks of new Episode 3 material. [All tiers]

✦ BLOG UPDATES

The Wayfarer Pin-Up Calendar 2023 launched on January 2. This calendar is a community project created by artists passionate about the game. It is digital only and will be available until March 2. Pay-what-you-want, with all proceeds donated to the Astraea Lesbian Foundation for Justice. As of January 5, the calendar has raised $783 CAD. See the details and get your calendar here!

Two public previews of Episode 3 Part 1 were released. You can read a preview of the Aeran romance branch here and one from the aftermath of the Veyer tryst here.  

Wayfarer now has its own fandom wiki! This is a community project, created and maintained by fans (I am not affiliated and do not update it). You can check it out here.

If you’ve enjoyed Wayfarer, used my tutorials, or would like to support my work, please consider supporting me on Patreon. Patrons receive access to the alpha build, a private Discord server, exclusive previews, bonus content, side stories, and other benefits.

Wayfarer is a passion project and creating it is a full-time commitment. Any little bit goes a long way to help me bring it to fruition.

If you aren’t in a position to support financially, reblogs, shares, ratings and comments, and spreading the word about the game are much appreciated and do a lot to help me out! 💕

[everythingblackblack]

Do you have any ideas on Kaito and Akako's powers? She mentions that no man can resist her charm but statistically speaking not all men can be straight and even girls seem to find her beautiful and have a generally good impression of her (though I'm a big fan of bi or lesbian Aoko), in 'Please be my prisoner' she wonders if Kaito is a child but I doubt she'd be so worked up if it was normal for her powers to be weaker on late bloomers seeing as her main influence is on high-schoolers still going through puberty. Immun ity because they like someone else doesn't quite work either. What do you think her powers include? She makes potions and uses magic circles, crystal balls and seems to have contracts with demons and can fly a broom. Her Cleopatra tiara implies she can utilise relics/artefacts for their powers. I love Asexual and Aromantic Kaito, but the angst potential of pandora Kaito is great and it makes more sense for Kaito to have strong magic or a different colour of magic that deflects hers maybe. Them working together beyond Akako giving cryptic prophecies makes sense because Kaito need more info on magic beyond his dad's unhelpful post-death mentions (Akako being angry at Kaito's dad for teaching him that magic doesn't exist when he himslef was involved with magic-users) due to the nature of Pandora and I think despite being 'natural enemies' he's fine with using her magic so long as it doesn't do more harm than non-magical means and will gladly use his magic tricks to help her with the supernatural side of things when he can (Kaito proving an endangered mythical being doesn't exist to protect it).

First of all, you have my eternal love, the person I mentioned 'Please be my prisoner', it's my favorite character song. Okay, I'll break down your questions. Well, we don't really have much information about Akako's magic, but that hasn't stopped me from rambling on about it either. Personally I had fun at first assuming that the reason Kaito wasn't affected was because he was so gay for Shinichi. My favorite headcanon is Kaito Bi, but I can understand the aromantic Kaito headcanon, it would make sense that he wouldn't be affected by the spell if that were the case.

I have to tell you that I have a tendency to lean towards more fun and chaotic scenarios than logical ones, so my brain can't help but take what you've told me and turn it into fun angst.

Can you imagine if Akako's magic worked on gays? How crazy and stressful that would be? I can just visualize some random guy seeing her and falling in love with her and think of everything it took for him to figure himself out so that he ended up liking women!

I have no idea how it translates into English, but in Spanish we have a word called "amarre" (binding spell), it's a spell that witches often use to bring two people together, usually it's because one of the parties doesn't want to let the other go, doesn't take their opinion into account and forces them to be with her by force. Witches often recommend not using it, because the person resists the spell and by doing so begins to change their personality and way of being, they can become violent and even abusive with their "love interest", "amarre" never end well.

There is also another thing called "Endulzamiento" which is what I think Akako might use, it's not to make people fall in love, rather, it's to make someone feel attracted to you.

Although, Akako also makes me think of the Greek goddess Aphrodite or Medusa herself, only instead of turning people into stone, they fall in love with her. Personally, I had just assumed that Kaito was maybe just immune because he also had magic or some gene that repels magic, but who knows. About Akako's general powers, it seems that she may have telepathy because she talks to Kaito in his mind, pyrokinesis because she sets the magic circle on fire and also electrokinesis because she shoots lightning at him. Maybe even telekinesis, she's so amazing.

I definitely think Akako would be mad if she got the whole story of why Kaito became KID, she's shown that she cares about Kaito.

One of the reasons I really like the Akako x Kaito is because Akako can give him all the information about magic that he doesn't have, maybe she even knows about pandora.

I haven't seen almost anyone mention it (skipping the fanfics), the fact that pandora isn't the only magic Jewel and that Akako uses magic artifacts, could give a clue that she's the key to find it.

[straightbaittournament]

only the option with the LEAST votes will be eliminated. propaganda under the cut (and more always welcome!):

kit tanthalos and graydon hastur:

Classic arranged marriage trope but the she-hates-him part never goes away because she’s in love with her best friend/bodyguard Jade

alexa, liana, jeremy, and ian:

the Only barbie animated movie where the girl(s) do not end up with a guy. alexa & liana live together and enact a ton of romantic tropes together, the twin guys do flirt with them but then the girls are separated from them by... a magic rainbow. they do dance together at the end of the movie... before the girls leave to go live together again. wearing dresses that are literally the bi and lesbian pride flags. no joke. cottagecore wlw separated from potential male love interests by literal magic rainbow the gayest barbie movie

tobias funke and debrie bardeux:

Debrie starred in a series of softcore gay porn films called Straightbait where she seduces a guy but tells him he has to sleep with another man before he sleeps with her to prove how attracted to her he is, thus proving he isn’t gay. Tobias is also super gay. They date for like 40 episodes and raise a son together. Tobias gets left by his first wife for not being sexually attracted to her and then has an affair with a gay porn actress from a series called straightbait I just think it’s pretty funny.

haruhi fujioka and hikaru hitachiin:

Haruhi x Hikaru from ouran high school host club. Yes i know she technically gets together with another boy in the end, but there is something so Queer about this ship in particular. Their whole date episode is just screaming Not Straight. For both of them.

ash ketchum and misty:

They’re basically set up as a kind of enemies to friends story and they make recurring jokes about how she clearly has a big crush on him, but nothing ever happens My childhood, i shipped them when I was 10

cali and flynn:

It starts off as a one-sided crush on Flynn’s side, and later becomes mutual when Cali develops feelings for him in the Skylanders IDW spin-off comics, their romantic tension lasts for most of the franchise (five games, a chapter of a spin-off comic, and a few bits and pieces in the spin-off books and mobile games), so far they’ve never gotten together as the franchise is currently still in hiatus mode (says this while on extreme copium) I think we need to appreciate the tropes in Calynn: Opposites Attract, Tough Girl x Himbo, Smart x Dumb, “You’re stupid, I like that in a man” vibes all over this ship! Seven year old me didn’t see Cali calling Flynn her guy in the sky whilst Flynn looked at her with heart eyes to lose to some other pairing!

alec hardy and ellie miller:

They're your classic workplace enemies to lovers. Alec takes the job that Ellie was meant for, they're forced to work together on a devastating murder case, they bond. Over three series Alec becomes more human and lets his walls down around Ellie, and she begins to respect and trust him as a colleague and as a friend. Its a Big Deal when they hug. In most cases, especially when it's an m/f detective duo, they would end up together. But yet. Thee David Tennant and Olivia Coleman did not even have an aborted kiss or feelings confession. Neither of them end up with anyone else but they don't hint at anything at the end either. Queer Ally of all time David Tennant does straightbait ironically.

good luck everyone! now go vote!

[bengiyo]

The Warp Effect Ep 8 Stray Thoughts

The Week of Jojo Part 2 begins. Last week, Army agreed to be the sperm donor for Nim, Mollie and Nim had a good moment during the training for the film that totally left Bew jealous, See-ew stepped out on Liu and ended up arrested for making porn, Liu broke up with See-ew in a scene that was fantastic between Sing and Clize, and Captain beat the shit out of Kat for not wanting to be his partner.

I'm glad we're staring with Kat. What happened to her was upsetting, and I wanted to check on her first.

It's interesting how Kat displays a wide array of feelings here, but annoyance, irritation, and offense come through most strongly.

All of Kat's girls came to check on her, but she doesn't want to be a victim. She is totally right to be frustrated that she was attacked after making her boundaries clear.

So now she'll flirt with Jean (who is apparently bi!) as a tease? I need this to become more than teasing!

I like Jean. Just because something bad happened to Kat doesn't mean she's gonna let Alex back in.

Army is lovesick, and also frustrated that Joe won't switch. So glad we're having frank conversation about the relationship dynamics in gay relationships about sex. Army is right that bottoming is tiring, and doing it all the time is exhausting. I'm curious how they'll explore Joe's reticence about the act. Just don't turn this into Cucumber, because I'll never forgive Russel T. Davies for that.

Alex is the straight guy determined to get his gay friend laid. We've come such a long way.

Cutting between Kim and Nim about the pregnancy tests was a neat touch. Kim's is unexpected, and I don't think Nim is pregnant yet.

I kinda like this plot with Bew. Lesbians can have poorly planned pregnancies, too. Bew may be jealous about Mollie, but the callous attitude about the baby is concerning.

Joe needs to do things away from this school more often, and everyone else needs to stop trying to make Joe talk about gay shit in the locker room of the school he works at.

Ah, Joe is a side. I appreciate that he doesn't like anal sex; I don't think it's required. I also don't like the bar and club scene. I just worry about the self-fulfilling nature of Joe's sense that he doesn't belong anywhere. You have to find your people.

I want to see Silvy whip ass in this film they're working on.

So Bew really left. TRASH. How do you look like Dichen Lachman and let me down like this??

"I remember all of it." Mollie, please never say that to your ex if you're trying to maintain a platonic relationship.

Jean stressing repeatedly that Kim's health and safety is more important than the set is exactly how more places should be. I will accept less shows less often if it means the people making it aren't suffering.

I just don't think the doctor should have told Jean that Kim is pregnant though? Seems like that's private information.

Oh, this is an interesting way for this plot to develop. Jean, who I suspect has had an abortion, doesn't foist that choice upon him. Kim admits she's not ready to start a family, and doesn't believe Ice is either. Kim doesn't hide the pregnancy from Ice, and he immediately rallies to become a dad and parent with Kim, much to her chagrin.

Kat is tough in front of others, but I am not surprised she's nervous in parking garages now.

Gosh, almost every scene has a blue hue to it this week. It's like watching Eyewitness again.

Mmm, unsure how I feel about Kat opening herself up to more with Alex immediately after beginning recovery.

Tony stay shooting his shots with Jean.

Alright, I do think it's important for us to talk about men's health and making sure they actually get it from professionals. However! Army knows Alex is not actually trained as a doctor right now, so what are the ethics here??

This and Between Us acknowledging bathroom stalls as their position in gay sexual history. I wonder if I'll have to write about this at the end of this year.

I get why Army stayed friends with Alex. He's very affectionate for a straight man.

Jojo really loves to fuck with the audience. Kat snuggles in with Alex, considering what it might be like to be serious with him, only for Alex to call out for Jean in his sleep.

I really like the exploration of the sensual potential of outercourse with Army and Joe. With how much BL misrepresents the physical considerations of penetrative sex, this feels necessary.

Also, in terms of the narrative, I like that Army's problem is solved by reconciliation with the first boy he really hurt and reaching equilibrium with him.

This fictional scene of Rose and Liu enabling Kat to curb stomp Captain is making me think of I May Destroy You (2022). I'm feeling a deep surge of complex feelings. Of course, her girls are here to support her.

Love that Kat's problem wasn't solved by choosing a guy.

Oh good, we're returning to Rose and Jedi next week. Not showing him in the bar felt intentional.

[baatarthefirst]

💔

💔 Is there a fic of yours that broke your heart?

No, but there are a couple of chapters of my fic Origins of Koko that kinda/sorta fit the bill. The first was Chapter 2, which did have some heartbreaking themes but with a happy ending, and the second was Chapter 5, which I reworked because I...I just couldn't.

If you're unfamiliar with Rangshi, it is a ship in the Atla universe consisting of Avatar Kyoshi and her bodyguard, Rangi; first seen in the prequal novel, The Rise of Kyoshi.

Now before the novels came out, it was revealed that Kyoshi had a daughter named Koko. The homophobes used Koko as evidence that this wlw relationship could never be endgame (which really made me angry, because they read a book in which the hero herself was adopted and could NOT fathom how two women could possibly have a child together???). So I wrote a chapter against each homophobic argument I'd seen (and a few possibilities that were suggested in the comments.

First chapter 2, natural insemination (the time period of this story would not allow for artificial insemination). Why it hurts? Kyoshi is canonically bi, but Rangi is presumed lesbian. So while she wholeheartedly consents to sleeping with a man, even more so than her bi wife, to have their children (and an heir for her clan) it is a little hard to deal with. It is fairly toned down, but it is present. I absolutely refused to write Rangi having a good time with a man and fall into that 'lesbians secretly still want the D' homophobic kind of thinking; but again, it wasn't noncon or even dubcon. Rangi accepted that she wanted to have a child, and needed an heir, and this was the way to do it. And some people were understandably uncomfortable reading it.

But the true tension within the story was Kyoshi's reaction to the man. Like Rangi, I stayed as true as possible to Kyoshi's sexuality. She's bi and marrying a woman will not erase the attraction. So while Rangi tolerates the man like a chore, Kyoshi...well, she enjoys her time with him. This creates some tension between the wives that does get resolved and makes them stronger. This chapter did get some (understandable) hate, but I did get just as many comments/pm's from bi people saying that they felt seen, they were glad I showed that Kyoshi didn't become a lesbian because she married a woman. The only regret I have in writing it was not thinking to put a trigger warning at the beginning. (and I did end up adding an artificial insemination chapter with a disclaimer that it could never happen within Kyoshi's era) Chapter 5, The Shadow of Kyoshi: A Poem by Roku. Another little fun fact about Kyoshi is she lived an unnaturally long time, 230 years. So another, very simple, explanation for Koko's existence was simply that Kyoshi outlived her wife and later had a child with a man. Now while I do NOT like romanticizing the idea that someone would spend the rest of their life alone after loosing their spose, the point of the fic was proving Rangshi as endgame, so I decided that Kyoshi would never love again. Instead I decided she would spent some nights with other widows/widowers and they would each take temporary comfort in each other. Well one one-nighter left her with a daughter, and Kyoshi couldn't stand to watch her grow old. [no trigger warning, she just let herself age] Now I spared everyone the heartbreak of going through all that by having this explained in a poem by her incarnation, Roku. A poem where DEATH is trying to claim Kyoshi for years, but she constantly just refuses to die because she made a promise to her wife until LIFE turns the tides by giving her a daughter. The poem ends on an inside joke between Kyoshi and her wife implying that either Kyoshi (or Kyoshi's and Roku's past life, Kuruk) possessed Roku into speaking the poem. I skipped over SO much angst in this chapter and I have no regrets.  

[cowboyjen68]

Hi Jen, I'm writing this as a young (18) yr old lesbian who just wants some place to relate. I've been having this problem in my circle of friends and beyond, where I'm realizing that my years as a teenager are beginning to come to a close and all of my friends have experiences I'll never have and sometimes it feels like it's held over me or like they look at me differently. Some of my friends are queer, some not, but all of them like men and a lot of them got typical highschool and teenage experiences in these relationships with men like going to school events and dates or even just bringing these boys home to their parents, and sometimes they say things about my inexperience/ my lesbianism that hurt but the more they bring it up the more I feel inadequate. I'm from a really small and conservative town and grew up in a very unsafe household, i never even had the chance to do the things they could and I've always felt excited to finally leave and put myself out there and be openly queer but now because I never had the chance to gain much experience like my friends did I feel too scared and undeserving to put myself out there with women, even though i know the unsafe situation i was in was out of my control im really afraid of being judged the same way some of my friends do to me. I'm not really sure if any of this makes sense or where exactly I'm going with this but long story short I just want to know if socializing and dating as a lesbian gets easier://

This lack of dating experience is pretty common for lesbians and gay men. It is also not as unusual for straight kids as the world would like you to believe. 

It is much less rare than others want you to think for young adults (college age etc) to be unpracticed in dating. The common expectation is high school is a time we are supposed to date people and then by the time we are  adults we have some idea of what we like and dislike and how to navigate the social norms of dating. College or after graduation is then encouraged to be a time to meet those out of our immediate friend and high school circle and date with less constraints from our parents or family. Once we are in the mid to late 20’s we are supposed to get more serious about dating for the long term and settling down. 

The fact is many gays and lesbians don’t date in high school for any number of reasons, the most common being it is just not safe or acceptable either to their family or to their community. Dating someone of the same  sex can still be a dangerous endeavor depending on the region, parents and community. Just like other kids, gay and lesbian teens might not be ready to date until more mature, some into their 20’s and in truth there is no timeline to date. Not everyone is ready to explore intimacy, romance or that sort of interaction at the same time. There should be no shame in waiting until it is something that is of interest to you. Sadly there is pressure from the media, peers, even parents and family to enter into the rituals of dating. The expectation is almost always that it will be with the opposite sex and that is why a lot of young bi people decide to not explore one whole side of their sexuality for many years.  

It seems like every other movie that is targeting teens and young adults has the sole focus of the protagonist either having sex or at least finding true love. A movie rarely has a happy ending unless there is a successful union of two people. This was no different from when I was growing up. We are all saturated with the idea that our life goal is to meet someone and settle down and until then we just practice our dating skills. LIfe is way more complex and interesting than to have a one track mind and that the only way to be doing it right is to date and then settle down. 

Once you get out on your own you will find that lots of young adults just did not date or date successfully in high school or  college. It could be they faced limits from their family or there was just no dating pool in their hometown.  It might be that religion or some kind of moral dilemma kept them from trying. It could also be that they just weren’t ready and didn’t want to. I would hazard the guess that many of your friends were not as successful or happy at dating as they reported to be. The expectations, and positive feedback from adults and kids for dating can be overwhelming and prompt people to crow much louder about their dating than their actions deserve. 

It is a pretty common topic among even my older lesbian friends, but definitely from those in their 20’s that they felt like young teens all over again when they finally dipped their toes into the dating pool, some well into adulthood. We talk about dating boys to cover our sexuality or just to fit in and not be bothered. It was a constant game of dating but trying to avoid intimate contact with every excuse from “I have a cold sore starting” to “my mom said I can’t go out tonight” (when mom said no such thing).  IT was lying to boys who were sweet and understood our reluctance, although not sure why and it was giving in to unwanted advances just to maintain our secret. 

In my opinion it is far better to just wait until you are safe and ready to date whomever it is you want to date. Dating should be fun and a learning time. It should be the practice of social skills and honing your intuition about people. You deserve to be excited and have that fuzzy feeling as you get ready to go on a date with a woman you met online or at a party. 

More good news is that even if you date a woman who has had more experience, rarely is there a person who has it all figured out. You will find most people on their first or 10th date with a new woman are starting from square one, figuring out the other woman and how to impress her or make sure she has fun. 

You will have a larger and more varied dating group once you are independent. FInd lesbians friends, older and younger. Older women are often more than happy to help you avoid the pitfalls they had when dating for the first time. They will share stories of humor and wisdom and hopefully that networking can help you broaden your lesbian friend circles. 

Join the local Pride as a volunteer, seek out the LGBT+ club at your college. Approach the local public library to see if they have a lesbian ready club established or see if they will help you establish one. Subscribe to Lesbian Connection. It is an open forum that is solely made up of letters written from lesbians on all sides of many issues. They list women's and lesbian events , book and lesbian owned businesses, all which can be very helpful in meeting other women. 

I have every confidence you will be okay. And not the only one feeling the way you do.

[swrawberrysvuccvbvs]

[IT'S TIME] Mayberry x Fem reader :D : Finally you realize I love you....(enjoy ;3)

Alive relationship

: You met Mayberry when she was alive ( around the mid way of college.) You and Mayberry used to be best friends until she got married to her husband{idk his name} she loved him but clearly he didn't love her. [ 'cough' Martha 'cough'}. You always said he was bad for her but she always believed it always a story so she would divorce him and you take him for your self.

:But that wasn't the case you wanted HER not him [hehe gay]

:You always hinted at it but she never got it....

: you died before her due to either offing yourself or sickness no one really knows but you but that's a story for another day

:She was devastated so that didn't help weeks or months later her husband cheats on her then bahda bing bahda boom she's in hell

relationship hell ( beginning till confession)

: the way you guys met again you work for I.M.P

:you were told to bring the client to Blitz to tell her the job was done since she decied to stay a little longer to see how things work

:Hey the boss said to get you-

: cue a crying mess of Mayberry and once you realize she is...

:your both crying now

:[Blitz is being an ass and recording of course!]

:You both leave and decide to catch up

: you kinda had a "I told you so!" moment when you found out why she got them to go after Martha

~ few months later~ { if you feel like you would confess in a different way feel free to skip to the end :3 }

: You finally decide to tell her the feelings you've had for so long due to them coming back strong or you just decide it was time

:You took her to a pretty spot on a cliff {and ik this is cliche but I feel like she would like that :3} you give her a gift and say this...

:"Mayberry I have loved you since college.....you don't have to feel the same and I know you have a bad history with dating but would you take that leap and date me?"

: It was quite for a bit or time about ten minutes

:You then got your answer....A teary eyed practically tackling you in an embrace saying yes over and over

:and once again you're both crying and Blitz is some how here and recording -__-

: she ask why you hadn't told her sooner

: " well I didn't want to lose you and you loved him I told you he was bad from the beginning but you thought I was after him when I did say he was but really secretly deep inside I hoped you would so I could have you."

: In all you both have a very sweet and loving relationship you're both very happy with each other

I LOVE THIS FIC WITH MY SOUL!!

This is my second fav write besides just under my Sallie Mae fic I love Mayberry so much she is so under looked in my eyes never really wrote about either at least for my lesbians and bi bitches that simp for her

Ok see you later my lovely fellow simps and sinners ;3

[spikrock]

my mad t party lgbt hcs explained

very messy post below! some are genuine reasonings and others are just "yeah haha trust me bro"

tarrant: bisexual & nonbinary

i mean for all the bi characters the hc is pretty self explanatory, i mean look at them yknow. hes a little too fruity with mally and thackery 🤨 but tarrant and alice are literally bi4bi couple of all time as for the nonbinary hc, i dont know! id like to know if anyone else sees him this way or if its just me :) hes just got too much enby swag 

alice: bisexual & trans

its all spiderwebs fault!!!!!!! it made her gay!!!!!!!!! /j but seriously, kissing ladypillar and different numbers such ho hey (you know how every now and then theyll switch alice standing with mally to someone else like thackery or absolem, the few times she did it with ladypillar are so funny because they cant rhyme the pronouns 😭). also ik this sounds silly but i really appreciate that in the mtp shows once ladypillar was added they didnt stop doing spiderwebs or change it to be like “haha were both girls 😵‍💫blehh this is so weird 😂”/play it off as a joke or anything because they very easily could have done that. shes trans. i already made that post with her and mally but again, if shes not trans then why is her color palette blue and pink? checkmate liberals. 

thackery: bisexual & bigender

yeah hes bi i dont know what else to say he and mally are in love frfr i actually just completely made up bigender. made it up, i dont know where i got it from i just remember early february drawing mad t party on my laptop and suddenly thinking “bigender thackery” and its stuck with me since then. (the two genders i hc him with are male/female though so) i wouldnt say he feels just one or the other, he feels both at the same time

mally: bisexual & trans

he is top ten bisexuals of all time,, whenever they do the pretender and tarrant and alice stand on either side of him and take turns singing he is DYING. passing away HE IS TRANSGENDER!!!!!!! we all know it. instead of coming out as trans he made up some crazy story about being killed in a war and then coming back as a man 🙄/j hes just dramatic like that

chessur: gay & trans

haha this is mostly because of @thatrandomartistjavi's hcs xd chessur is special in the sense that hes the only mtp character that never really gets a chance to flirt with anyone else since hes always hiding behind that drumset. from what ive seen he was shipped with dinah a lot, presumably just cuz theyre both cats since they rarely interact, so ive never really understood it :p i usually hc cheshire cats as nonbinary/something under that umbrella but this guy gives me transgender vibes. idk

absolem/ladypillar(? dont know if she ever got a real name): lesbian & trans

shes very much a lesbian. just. just like yeah. i think the most prominent character that she flirts with (other than alice) is mally. from what ive seen it only really happens when its el dormouse on stage but before i started seeing that i always saw mally/absolem/thackery as like, a trio. i mean obviously everyone in the band are friends, but idk. i have lots of drawings of those three hanging out so maybe thats just something my delusional brain has completely made up. but anyway the point is i dont ship those two and i sort of see them with a more sibling dynamic. mally always holds her back when shes trying to touch the little castle music box thing, at the end of sets he’ll pull her antennae to take her off stage/she'll pull him by his scarf, etc. (also theres a clip where she kisses him on the cheek and as they begin to walk off stage she turns to the crowd and mouths “no” and does the throat slitting gesture thing which makes me think theyre sorta just playing around :p)

sooo in a post a while back i said i hc her as genderfluid but ive changed my mind?? actually before i made that post i headcanoned her as trans but then switched to genderfluid and now ive uhh changed my mind again. im very indecisive like that and very easily swayed on my opinions haha,,, @ticktockteapot's metaphor for her “becoming the beautiful butterfly she was always meant to be” is very nice i like it lots. also the fact that ladypillar has a much higher stage presence than absolem (obviously not including the spiderwebs number…or crazypillar) was always so sweet to me cuz like,,,aw shes finally more comfortable being herself and performing :’)

tl;dr none of them are straight none of them are cis. happy pride month and thank you for coming to my TED talk