#and they all end up begin either lesbians or bi

[depvotee]

It's so funny to me to give my mom my perspective as a gay person bc she's goes

[jinbeisluffy]

I see so many posts over different social media platforms about sexuality/gender hcs for the strawhats and i want to add in my own two cents because i believe im very correct (but anyone’s opinion is valid so long as it doesnt go against canon coding)

Luffy - the most aroace and trans guy to ever BREATHE. i dont mean aroace in that hes somewhere on the spectrum where he can still be attracted to people, because he cant. this guy had never grasped the concept of romance and never will, because theres no reason for it to him. hes trans because i say he is, i dont have many reasons for THAT but its just the signals hes sending me. trans to trans communication trust

Zoro - gay. thats it thats the post. no but i dont ship luffy with anyone but zoro is just attracted to literally any man who is strong, thats his criteria and thats all he ever needs. is he aware of it? not at all, he has no idea that its not normal to get bricked up by the thought of other men

Nami - i havent seen a bigger lesbian in media ever, genuinely i dont think any other character is as obviously lesbian as she is. she loves girls unapologetically no matter what, supports all girls at the end of the day (cough kalifa) . i also hit her with the asexual beam because i can, specifically demisexual because i THINK so

Usopp - while i wanna consider kaya, i wanna consider sanji too and thats making me lean between bi or omni even if omni is a label under the bi umbrella. its more a question of if he recognises his preference for men or not, because he does prefer then at the end of the day. the ace beam bounces from nami to usopp because he too doesnt feel anything and doesnt think about it either

Sanji - oh my god where do i begin. maybe just the blatant queer coding of wci as a whole?? of course hes attracted to women, thats not an aspect you can remove or just toss around to being something else. he loves and respects women, but he is so QUEER. all of wci is just queer coding, its a queer story and sanji is a queer character i will die on this hill. he probably has some kind of gender issues too, what specifically? no clue, but he likes people of multiple genders and is in deep denial about it all the time he wont ever truly accept it but he can one day as a treat live with that fact

Chopper - oh hes a reindeer he cant really have a sexuality DID WE FORGET THE FACT HES HUMAN TOO ISNT THAT LIKE HIS WHOLE THING, NOT BEING A MONSTER BUT ALSO A HUMAN. HE IS BOTH? i dont have any specific labels to slap onto him, just that hes a people lover and encourager of literally everything. ace beam bounces onto him too

Robin - trans trans trans trans trans trans trans trans you will accept robin transfem into your life right here right now. she can like anyone, she has no label on it, she just likes people and cant bother with genders or anything like that. the ace beam actually skips her because if they were doing a hear me out cake she’d be the one putting all of the crazy things. freak. (lovingly)

Franky - HOW TRANS CODED IS IT NOT TO REBUILD YOUR OWN BODY TO BECOME A BETTER VERSION OF YOURSELF AND TO REBUILD YOUR LIFE IN A WAY YOU WANT, BUT GOING BACK TO WHAT YOU LOVED ABOUT YOUR OLD SELF, AND EMBRACING IT. literally, trans goals. he modified his body and went i might as well give myself top surgery and an awesome dick while im here!! sexuality wise hes a lover of everyone, but he has preferences for women (robin) but encourages all bromances (with brook)

Brook - THIS IS WHERE IM MOST PASSIONATE!!!! people can say that hes the token straight grandpa. but theyll never understand the joy of old gay brook had a romance with his captain, the joy of brook trying to subtlety let the other strawhats know he accepts them (he isnt subtle at all and everyone knows). look at brook in drag twice for no reason and tell me he isnt queer, in some way. the ace beam finally hits someone and its brook, insert skull joke here

Jinbei - very specifically old gay man who didnt really do much throughout his youth, he always knew he liked men but he never had TIME to do anything, too busy being awesome and a father i fear. now that hes with the crew he isnt automatically gonna seek anyone out, but hes also not gonna restrain himself from finding interests in people, hes being more selfish now and thats good for him. finally the ace beam hits jinbei and proceeds to fly off towards other op characters that i might talk about some other time

can you tell im asexual and love projecting onto characters with it !!!!

[izu]

hey just wanna say that i LOVE your art!!! i’ve seen you on twitter and ugh just can’t get enough of it! also do you happen to have some johnshi headcannons?? cuz if you do i would like to see them all!! :3

thank you so much!!! i hope to draw more.... also get ready bc i have way too many headcanons and this'll probably be super long winded unfortunately . this isn't all of it but its most of it

- kenshi is a heavy sleeper. after moving in with johnny post-tournament he begins to unwind from his former unhealthy schedule that was supported by his yakuza lifestyle. johnny wakes up at 5 am to work out until lunch, and kenshi sleeps in til like noon or 1. johnny thinks its cute

- they either own a fuck ton of cats or ferrets. johnny seems like a ferret guy to me

- they like watching director's cuts of movies instead of actual movies because kenshi can actually understand a little more of whats happening while the directors explain certain scenes and go into depth about the composition and art direction. its a win win situation for both of them

- johnny actually reads a ton of books, but is embarrassed about it. leftovers from being a ""nerd"" in high school. kenshi thinks its adorable and he likes hearing johnny retell the book plot and express his exasperation with it unfolding as he reads

- johnny has a sweet tooth and kenshi has a more refined palette, he will try anything johnny sets in front of him though, even if he isnt much of a sweets guy

- on that same note, johnny is very good at cooking! every other night he plans a meal for them, and it's almost always a winner. lots of japanese style dishes (took some trial and error on johnny's part) because he wants to impress kenshi

- they go to red carpet events together after a couple of years of dating, but for a while they pretended (to the press, too) that kenshi was his newest bodyguard. rumors spread fast though and it ended up being a perfect time to let johnny come out publicly as bi

- kenshi's parents are actually very very supportive. i think he'd be nervous at first but his mom thinks johnny is very handsome and his father agrees its a good change for their family. kenshi has two sisters who absolutely raise hell over kenshi nabbing a sexy gaijin star and he is very embarrassed about it. much to johnny's delight

- they spend every weekend on the balcony of johnny's new loft in his jacuzzi just talking and being sappy. kenshi genuinely gets a lil upset when things come up and they miss their date nights

- everytime kenshi returns to the states after visiting home johnny makes a big scene at the airport. lunging at him, crying sobbing

- kenshi proposes first, but johnny had been nervously trying to wait for a good time to do it himself. one upped. he is still very upset about this well into their marriage as old yaois

- kenshi is the top 👍 i think we all knew this but still

- even if he doesn't need it, its sort of a ritual between them so they never stopped; johnny is still kenshi's sight dog when they go out and he doesn't feel like relying on sento.

- sento's ancestors like johnny a lot and kept being annoying about kenshi needing to get hitched already hskw7kejej

- kenshi is achillean, gay. always has been. his arrangement with suchin was. arranged. and she was his lesbian beard for a while. the two are very very close and she visits their home often. johnny is trans and bisexual, but he's only out about being bi.

- johnny tends to have a really shitty sleep cycle, light sleeper, easily thrown into insomnia, the busy street life can really fuck up his routine when hes already had a terrible day. which ends up with the both of them on the couch, talking, watching a show, kenshi with his head on johnny's shoulder. they fall asleep like that 7 times outta 10

- the older they get the sappier and grosser they get . everyone who knows them hates their gay asses . jax and sonya included

- also they both get dad bods when they get older bc of all the good eating. neither are insecure about it. its hot

- kenshi is undeniably the spoiled one. gifts, fancy dinner dates, unrelenting affection and praise. he starts believing he deserves good things, that he is loved, solely by johnny's persistence with showing him instead of telling him

- cris ends up being their friend again after a while. i just dont like the cris villainization when its contrasted with johnshi support. she had her reasons to be upset at her alcoholic, spending-addicted husband, y'all

- johnny like action/sci fi movies. kenshi likes romcoms.

- they host parties. they're awesome parties.

[gwenfr]

I think I figured another thing that was bothering me about the new episode.

It's the lack of presence from the other main queer characters and the straight ones there being the only one happy.

We had 3 big storyline in this episode for the main ensemble character.

Hen and Karen, the only other queer main characters were nowhere to be seen.

But of the 3 big storylines : 2 were for the straight characters and it was to show them being happy and then the last and only queer one was to show him/them unhappy.

Yes it really does let a bad taste in my mouth...

It's like this episode was taken from the hands of the precedent writers of the season, by a queerphobic asshole who thought "ok, the lesbians can't be seen, the gay loved man have to go, yeah yeah okay have the other gay man who appear total 4 min in a season make a big speech if you want, the bi man must be sad and heartbroken, and yes he need to understand he has to fuck around of course, then we have the straight couple, they're straight, they can be happy and have other babies, the straight man who fucked up his life with his son, yeah he has to be happy, and let him do a 5min dance sequence to show how happy he is, it's necessary !"

It was literally a thing that bothered me sm from the beginning of the Bucktommy love story, it was the lack of interaction with the other main queer couple.

How cool and refreshing for a (queer) storyline it would have been if Tommy and Buck decided to talk it through and go to their lesbian couple friends for council. Hen and Karen also had issue in the beginning of their relationship. And yes, they would never know what it means to be an older gay man or a young bi man, but Karen could talk with Tommy about the fear of heartbreak or really wanting a family and committing to that. Hen could have talk to Tommy about the personal growth she witnessed in Buck for the last 7 years and how Tommy doesn't need to be worried. We could have had such a lovely scene during a little queer dinner with our four main queer characters.

But no, we couldn't have too much queerness in an episode I suppose...and we should be happy with Josh's big speech about queer men at all....

The way the straights were written to overcome their big struggles in this episode and be happy at the end of it when the queer characters were either not shown or shown 2min or written to be sad and heartbroken or either sad and leaving....

Yep, again it was definitely a choice...

[greghatecrimes]

hey!! ive been thinking about this but if cameron was canonically lesbian, how do you think she would find out? like im thinking something to do with thirteens openness in her sexuality but its an interesting thing to think about :33

ouh I love this question. I so agree with you, I definitely think Thirteen's openness would be a big part of what prompts Cameron to look at her own sexuality.

In my opinion, Cameron probably hasn't even really considered dating women as something that was even an option before, so I can see her having a LOT to think about in that regard post Lucky Thirteen/when Thirteen's in her 'hooking up with different girls every night' era. Once she's actually fully comprehended that it's something SHE could do if she really wanted to, then I picture her looking back all the way back to childhood/adolescence. Analyzing her relationships, trying to figure out if the way she was with friends and other girls was just platonic, or if she had a crush and didn't realize it...

I can also picture her, after a lot of thought and a sleepless night or two because of it, going up to Thirteen and asking her in private how she knew she was bi. And then they have a little bit of a talk about it, and Cameron admits, "I'm attracted to men, but God, it's such a hassle... some days I just think it would be so much easier to marry a woman platonically and just live together as friends/life-partners", and I think Thirteen would laugh and tell her that's the gayest thing she's ever heard a "straight" woman say.

Your ask also reminded me of a headcanon that my friend Sage (@howdoyouwhiskit) has about a modern version of House. When "Good Luck, Babe!" came out last year, they said they think Cameron would totally have her lesbian crisis after hearing the song, and I sooo agree. THAT thought then led me to imagining a whole modern AU slash one shot scenario unfolding in my head, inspired by this ask lol-- Cameron finds out about Chappell Roan in the first place bc Kutner offers to go in with everyone and get group tickets to a music festival to go see her.

THEN I pictured Cameron listening to "Good Luck, Babe!" after hearing about Chappell from Kutner. And, of course, completely panicking after hearing that bridge. Good God. "When you wake up next to him in the middle of the night, with your head in your hands, you're nothing more than his wife".... the MOST Cameron line EVER, I'm telling y'all. So then either that same day or the next day, she ends up at a bar and Thirteen is there. Cameron ends up very drunk in her "am I gay" panic, and she ends up kissing Thirteen because she's internally thinking "I have to know if i'm gay or not!!!"

Thirteen's like "what the hell?!" and pulls away.

Cameron's desperate. She's fully begging Thirteen, like, "I have to know, I can't live with myself and marry Chase if I don't know if I'm attracted to women or not."

Then Thirteen is like, "You really wanna do this?"

and Cameron says "Yes, I have to know!" optimistically thinking she won't feel anything.

but then they start fully making out and Thirteen's like "oh, we're doing this, doing this??" and Cameron's like YES. So they end up in Thirteen's apartment and it goes a la Lucky Thirteen's beginning from there on, and at the end of it they're lying in the afterglow realizing they both just cheated on their boyfriends accidentally (and Cameron asking desperately, maybe slightly panicking, "Was it really cheating if i asked you to kiss me for science?").

Thank you for the ask, I hope you enjoyed my long winded response and both the canon thoughts and the modern au ones! :3

[numberonetacostan]

Hi again :D

As much as I like the Paco swap au, I don't really have much left to say about it now (I might still bring it up sometimes but overall I've said all I can think about) so I wanted to make another au since I like making them basically.

(This is intended to be Tacomic in some form though just saying)

They don't split up and Mic wins with Taco's help (messing with the timeline to make this work but the finalists don't face Cobs they have a normal competition, everything with MephoneX still happens but like, maybe a few years after the finale in this universe) their alliance gets revealed and everyone is pretty mad at her, the s1 contestants mainly for who she worked with and the s2 contestants mainly for having outside help to begin with and now everyone is even less likely to talk to Taco & won't talk to Mic either (save maybe Soap and Knife), Taco & Mic end up living together instead of splitting it and going their separate ways, somewhat because they're the two no-one wants to talk to now & Taco genuinely likes Mic by this point so she'd want her to stay.So aside from a few messages from Soap & Knife to check up on her Taco is the only person from ii she actually talks to, they could use the money to actually get a house and all that, maybe outside the island they wouldn't want to be around the others and it'd only be two objects - or 3 if Mepad stays, I don't think they'd ever take him out of sleep mode so when they get found out the others take him back mist likely - rather than needing a home for everyone meaning they'd end up within places where normal objects live (and realising just how much they don't know).At this point their relationship wouldn't be healthy though, Mic hasn't gone through development and learned to be more confident as well as Taco never having that push to be better, she doesn't have Mepad this time either.The events of the finale do still happen, but a couple of years later just without the Taco & Mic so when they eventually get deleted that's the first time any of them have seen either of them in years.Also Paco angst, I do headcanon Taco as being lesbian but I think the idea of her and Pickle being exes interesting (bi for bi), even if not I think it'd still hurt to see someone being actually close to Taco, the real Taco even if it's less healthy than at first glance because of how their 'friendship' ended with the reveal the object he'd been friends with basically doesn't exist and is a made up personality. as for who the other finalist was I'll say Suitcase, I love both of the finalists but only one can actually stay in this, truth or flare doesn't happen in this the same way it does canonically since Taco doesn't loose Mic & would try not to be noticed mainly so Suitcase doesn't get to choose who goes into the finale with her, they get found out after Mic wins (realistically the prize would probably be revoked in some way but it's ii and Mephone is not exactly the best at these type of things)

I don't really expect this to go as far as the Paco swap did, I'm still honestly surprised (and really happy) about how much you and other askers liked it, I'll just show up sometimes to talk about it

I honestly just enjoy making aus so I made another one (:

-🌮🔄🥒

Hi Swappy!!^^ Welcome back, and thank you for sharing your au!! :D

Yeah, almost everyone would be pretty unhappy with Mic, especially assuming from what you said that season 3 doesn't take place before season 2 ends.

As for Mepad, I think Mic would let him go, even if Taco didn't want to. It's too far for her, yeah? And besides, Taco wouldn't particularly need him for teleportation if they're out in the real world. Even if it's convenient to teleport, lugging around his massive body is not.

Their relationship certainly wouldn't start off as healthy, but I think they could still make it after a very rocky road. Taco would have to go to therapy, and it would be even better if Mic did too.

Yeah, either way for Pickle there'd still be that feeling of "why not me", yeah? Why wasn't he good enough to change Taco? What was he missing?

Mephone might try to revoke the prize after they find out about Taco's meddling (I like to think they find out because Mic gets so excited about winning that she runs and grabs Taco out of the bushes to hug her celebrate), but Taco is Taco, no way she doesn't have a plan for that. I think I've mentioned this before, but I like to think she pulls out a copy of the season 2 rules and points out some sort of loophole that allows her to have helped Mic.

[no-shxme]

not a talonpost but bc its my blog here's my unnecessarily long review of the ambessa novel. there WILL be spoilers, however I'm gonna divide it by type. (including no spoilers)

this post is gonna be long so im putting it under the cut. i'll even use mostly good grammar. (crazy)

Overview: (this zone is spoiler-free)

Obligatory note of: this is just my opinion feel free to disagree. Right off the bat let me just say that this book was hard to get through. Noxus is my favorite region but I don't care much about Ambessa, didn't care much about her in Arcane either. Mel is cool but that's all. This would be remedied if the writing was better but it's also just--not. I took a break from reading other books to read this one (I didn't hold to this by the way, I read two other books while I was reading this one. that's why it took so long.) and the difference is... pronounced. This isn't to say that the writing is all bad. It's more middle of the road for me, mostly. There's definitely some tasty lines in there. There's a line notably that goes: "Every breath was agony. There was not enough air in the whole world." I really like that one. That's the single gem from the prologue, which is single-handedly the worst part of the book.

The prologue is only spoilers if you haven't seen that one blood sweat and tears video as it's literally that, play by play with just a little more background context. And it's so bad. When I got through the prologue I was prepared to be brutally disappointed by the rest of it. It feels like something that a higher-up gave to the writer like 'put that in asap.' Dunno if that's actually the case but it reads like that, so either way, not good.

My opinion is that this book is pretty mid, I think they made poor writing choices and I just didn't believe a lot of it. It reads very much as a 'video game book,' with pacing meant to keep people locked in. I think it doesn't help from a subject matter standpoint that they picked Ambessa in the past, so the stakes are automatically lower because she can't die yet, and neither can Mel, or Rell. I'm not saying this like I was hoping characters would die. I think a lot of writers slap character death into stories (or a lot of readers expect it) when what they really want is for characters to change. (And someone dying is a very easy way to do that.)

The Change: (broad thematic spoilers??)

Ambessa has none. She is a strong fighter making hard choices at the beginning and by the end she is a strong fighter making hard choices still. Throughout the book she continually makes hard choices, strength of the wolf and all that. Mel changes a teeny bit in the beginning (we learn how she gets her tattoos) but then she's the same. To be fair, Mel's not as important of a character in the novel so that's at least more excusable. Anyway, I found Ambessa boring because of it. Her 'character growth' is more or less reaffirming what she already knows, and she reacts to stuff that happens to her but she doesn't really change.

The Characters: (general character spoilers)

There are a lot of non-champ characters introduced. In my opinion many of them uhh a little too fast. LOTS of new names are thrown around and I kept having to flip back. This goes for locations too. There's a map at the front of the book that I kept going back to look at. Could be a skill issue though to be fair. :')

As far as new characters go, the most important is probably Ta'Fik, the primary antagonist, and Rudo, Mel's father. I didn't... reallyyyyy care about either of them. We meet Kino too, Mel's brother, but uhhh. Yeah I mean he's nice but he just didn't leave much an impression to me personally, mainly because he's barely focused on, so I can't blame him.

Rell is also involved as a principle character (spoilers for Rell b plot) and she's like, super bisexual (though I suppose it reads more as lesbian bc she's only showing interest in this girl, but whatever! We know she's bi.) In the story she has like, this budding relationship with this other character, Tora, and honestly like.... I hate it. To me it feels really shoehorned, especially when combined with the pacing. A lot of time is covered in the book. Journeys take months. Totally fine of course, but we don't really experience the bulk of that journey except for some scattered scenes, so it becomes harder (in my opinion) to believe their interest in each other. It's really weird, personally how Ambessa brings it up to begin with. Like when Tora is first introduced Rell sees her and just insta blushes and then she's described as a heart breaker and Ambessa tells her off a little like 'hey don't break her heart' or whatever it was she said. It did serve a dual purpose but it just felt too quick and like, weird. There's also another scene where Rell and Ambessa are shopping in the Immortal Bastion and at one point Ambessa starts to talk to her and Rell's like: oh omg my bad I thought you were going to give me The Talk.

AND IM HUHHHH

I don't know. I'm aro so I dont vibe with romance in a lot of cases, but I can respect it in context. But this just felt really weird and random. It felt like a plot device to say look how happy I get to be before the Black Rose kidnaps me and turns my life to shit. It seems very juxtaposition-serving and I wish it was done differently. Additionally, because of all of the journeying that happens mostly out of view, some conversations happen that I think could have happened much sooner, considering the length of their journeys. We don't even learn a ton about Tora so it feels-half baked. I understand that Ambessa is the main character but if we're going to switch povs and focus on different characters I would like to see more meat there.

A quick tangent about the POV. (no real spoilers) I thought it would be Ambessa's pov only, but the POV actually changes to a bunch of different characters and I understand for storytelling (and the fact that Ambessa has no change in character) why they did it but I wish they'd really pushed it. This is definitely more of a personal writing gripe though. I don't think every switch was necessary or particularly strengthened the book. I think it needed more flavor.

Also, a lot of the writing to me felt like it lacked the necessary emotional dig to make something as compelling as it could be. We dig into some emotions, but not enough imo. I really wish they would have pushed everything a little further. I think I would've liked every character more. Instead it kinda feels like we're being hustled from scene to scene. The story lacks emotional complexity. I don't necessarily think it's the author's fault, though I haven't read anything else she's written.

The Lore: (spoiler heavy)

What disappointing me about this book is how it emphasizes (to me) how little Riot has planned ahead. Rell's not even that old but already her lore is getting reworked. Technically her book lore now fits into her bio lore, but if you read the bio you wouldn't think that, because there's no mention, so it seems unplanned, something they just came up with. And if we're going by this new lore that puts Rell in like what, her 30's? She'd be older then Mel right so... idk. Well into adulthood at the time of 'current cannon,' so it's not even like, the identity that people signed up for. Rell is a teenage girl going on a rampage and its weird to suddenly make her an adult. It's like putting Annie in a story so that her 'canon' age is 45. It's like--weird. It wouldn't be as bad if they'd just planned it in advance but it doesn't read like they did, so (imo) they should just abandon the idea of a shared unified canon. Because it just doesn't work with a champion roster this big. Now there's technically two Rells. The sixteen year old Rell with no mention of Ambessa, and the other Rell who is well into adulthood (if she even lived that long). So what's going to happen with the MMO then? Are we going to get teenage Rell with 11 year old Mel? Or are we going to get Adult Mel with Adult Rell? It's cooked.

Noxian lore in general was the main reason I read this book. (That and for a talon/du couteau mention) and there was a good amount of Noxian lore, though not as much about the Immortal Bastion, rather northern Shuriman settlements. Which is fine, it's just my interest is located in a more Talonish direction lol. Either way, it's nice. There was a surprising amount of drakehound lore, and we do visit the Immortal Bastion once, which is cool. I will consolidate the lore tidbits into a different post later for anyone who doesn't want to read the book lol.

As cameos we do get a paragraph a piece for Swain and Marcus Du Couteau but I'm going to be honest, while the fanservice is cool it reaallyyyy cheapens the book. An Arcane viewer won't necessarily be familiar with either of those characters, so a random paragraph dedicated to them reads as very out of place. When I first read the section I thought to myself: 'thats cool but if they never bring up Swain or Marcus again then this is going to read as shit.' And uhh... yeah. There's actually two du Couteau mentions by the way, but one is only mentioned like 'even a Du Couteau showed up' or whatever, I can't remember the exact line I'll have to look at my notes. And then the paragraph on Marcus. I don't really believe in fanservice, I think even a book based on an existing property should be able to stand alone, (unless its a sequel) so I think the inclusion of bigger sections on characters that are LITERALLY never mentioned again is a terrible writing choice and shows a lack of restraint. AbsoLUTELY would've written that differently.

On the topic of magic, the way magic is written is like.. floaty. I know Riot is using more of a softer system, the rules are not clearly defined. But man I wish we'd at least give it a bit more definition. A lot of runes/sigils are involved in the book and I just--don't fully know what a rune/sigil is in the context of this book. Like I DO. but i also DON'T. It's floaty. They're like, drawing them and putting them on people and I'm just--how are they coming up with them? I wish it was dug into a little more. Agh. Also magic is described pretty loosely and I wish it just had a bit more realness to it. By realness I mean something to ground it more. It felt vague. I would also say that Rell mastered her magic awful fast but at the same time, Mel did pretty similarly I think in Arcane so I'm assuming that's just how it goes you just pop the magic cherry and suddenly it all comes flooding in.

This review is way too long but I have one more like, major grievance:

Leblanc: (spoilers.)

IS SHE INCOMPETENT???? IS SHE INCOMPETENT?? IS SHE SLAYFUL BUT USELESS???

So at the end of the novel Ambessa is visited by Leblanc who says "omg you're so pathetic but you've somehow managed to ruin years of planning AND kill two of my BEST mages. anyway you're intriguing i'm gonna let you live bye."

AND ITS HUHHHHHHHHHHH

AH YES. THE CLASSIC 'YOU INTRIGUE ME, I AM SOOO POWERFUL BUT I'LL SPARE YOU,' SCHTICK. love that. so much. never been done before. It'd be at least more believable if LB HADN'T JUST SAID HOW SHE RUINED SO MUCH FOR HER. I don't know it's kinda crazy. leblanc is painted as this big schemer with eyes everywhere and centuries of plans but here she just seems incompetent not killing ambessa. we know why ofc. If ambessa dies then she won't show up in arcane, but like. DAMN. it just sucks. and it makes me wonder about her other antics. like how in the hell does kayn manage to steel a darkin weapon from NOXUS, if leblanc is clearly interested in a darkin weapon. it's just so ridiculous i think she might be a girlfailure. (and it highlights the lack of planning on riot's part but) idk the book made me respect her far less. don't get me wrong, i like her, but she's also a flop. if there's some power limiter on her that the reader doesn't know about then.... i would like... to know a little bit.... a hint. an inkling. because otherwise she's just a girlfailure...

Minor Nitpicks:

There's one section of the book that uses the word Dancer so many times in a short period that it pissed me off so bad.

Reiterating: there are some good lines but some of the prose is SOO clumsy that I don't know why they didn't change it.

There's lots of explaining things through talking, and lots of summary, including summary of stuff that's already happened.

A yordle gets mentioned.

I think some of the names for the warbands/ops are pretty dog. But that's just my personal opinion. 'The Scar's Rangers' 'The Bloody Thunders,' 'The Shadow Hunters.' Really not a naming style I enjoy. To compare I think of Achilles' Myrmidons which sounds much cooler to me. I wish they could've added at least a lil more variety in terms of naming convection, even throwing in some Shuriman word or something, that'd be cool.

The way they handled language in general disappointed me, but it could've been much worse so it's whatever.

After all that, I dub this book mid. It wasn't the worst, but I didn't care for it much. I won't reread except for lore. I don't think it's a waste of a book or anything I just wish things had been done differently. I'm gonna be totally bold and say that I almost wish we had a totally different character as the only protagonist. I think Kino would have been an excellent choice to focus on both his sister AND his mother, and would have allowed for a unique perspective, provided the plot of the book delved beyond its original scope. Like a tragedy ending with Kino's death would have been really good I think, considering we still don't know how he died. That being said it'd probably have sold like shit or smth because no champ pov. Whatever. 5/10. If you've read the novel I'd love to hear your thoughts, even if you disagree or whatever. All opinions are welcome. Thanks if you indulged me and read the whole thing.

[myeyesandheartadjust]

Thoughts while listening to The Mad Ones (fully) for the first time

Disclaimer:

I've heard a smattering of songs already but keep getting distracted while trying to listen to it from beginning to end

It took two days to get through it (it's a heavy musical, y'all!)

I definitely look at this through a queer lens

Here we go!!

Starting off strong with The Girl Who Drove Away

"Leave the fear and doubt behind! Choose the road less traveled! Not the memories to real! Not to guilt that leaves you paralyzed!"

"If only i could turn the key...." This whole song is just Sam needing a hug

Hi Kelly!!! 👋 👋

"Map's are for brain deads"

Sam, you don't sound convinced about college.

"But what if she doesn't?? OH TWIST!!" KELLY 🤣🤣 Also, i was right

"Not a memory jumble" 🤣

For real though, WHY DO SAM'S MEMORY JUMBLES SOUND SO PRETTY

"I was figuring out who I was – the whole year – saying what I wanted, doing it, and one day the phone rings....." Oh, Sam :(

"What? You think it's gonna bite?"

"LET'S GOOOO!"

"She believed in listening to the highway. You start driving and keep driving. There's no stopping 'til Kelly says you're arrived."

There's queer vibes in this song, and I'm here for it!!

"Very slow, Brown." I can picture the smirk and the look Kelly's giving Sam, and it's very gay

"Freedom! Freedom! FREEDOOOOOM!"

I love how Sam's saying big things and Kelly's all like, "I want Arby's. I wanna go skinny dipping!" 😂

"Let's go! Let's go! Pick a road, pick a highway. Any road is going my way. Let's go! Live it up with no complicated philosophies!No college, no career! No kids, no fancy house! No! Let's go! ANY ROAD BUT THE ROAD WE'RE ON!"

"NO COLLEGE! NO CAREERS! NO SCREAMING KIDS! NO MORTGAGE!"

"There's something buried within here, a lesson to keep, the impulse, the life force, the diving in deep. I feel it. The chaos. I usually flee. If I hold on right here, could I learn to just BE?!" 😭

"Don't talk about it. Live it. Don't feel the loss of it. Feel it." 👀

"Trees blurring into nothing. And i am nothing. And she is nothing." Poetry! Also gay vibes!

"It's so real and so like a memory. And the sun is so bright that I'm squinting. And it feels like I've found FREEDOOOOOM!"

Kelly and Sam being rock stars is so funny, and it sounds like car rides with them would've been epic

Sam singing in Ordinary Senior Year is so sad 😪

A statistician teaching someone how to drive .... sounds like a recipe for disaster

"Sam failed her drives test...four times!" I was right 😁 Poor Sam! Half of them weren't her fault but still!!

"DRRRRIVE!!"

Top Ten is a really fun sounding song. If you heard it out of context, though, you'd be like what!

"Old age. Lame! Impossible!" 😂

Some of these are really hilarious, like the alien one, the mentos, and the poor Sting one!

"Hit by a car on the way home from the library." 👀 Ouch! Is that how she actually died?

Sam and Adam... okay??? Sam can be bi but Smple As That sounds like a friendship song (minus the makeout bit)

"For sure. He's the perfect guy for a girl like me." SUURE!! Sam

The Proposal = a song that would sound incredibly weird out of context and one that i can't take seriously

Sam, if you're this conflicted over this about wanting to have sex with him, you're probably NOT in love (or like) with Adam. Not even for pancakes! (Also, side note, but I can see Sam as ace/aro and secretly wanting a QPR with Kelly or being a closeted bisexual/lesbian)

Lyrics like "Feel your carnal urges taking hold" and "EMBRACE YOUR DESTINY," is why I can't take this song seriously

Kelly's with a TA. Okay, Kelly's either deeply repressed about her love for Sam or is bi. Or both!!

"All alone. Was I lost, or was I alive. In the space in the hole, she CREATED!"

Yeesss The Mad Ones!!

Jack Kerouac quote my love 🥰 (This song introduced me to it, and I fell in love with it)

"IF WE'RE GONNA GO, WE GOTTA GO TONIGHT!"

"Pushed to the edge, out on the ledge. Will you die out or burn, BURN?!" 🔥🔥🔥🔥

"'CAUSE THOSE GOOD OLD BOYS! THEY'VE HAD THEIR GOOD OLD DAYS. BUT NOT THEY'RE GONE, AND NOW THEIR WORLD IS OURS TO TAKE."

Here we gooo!! "We're mad to go. Mad to drive. Mad to be alive. We're chasing stars. A thousand suns. The mad, THE MAD ONES!!"

I know how this song goes, but two drunk girls making a plan to run away sounds A: gay and B: like a recipe for disaster

"STOP SAYING CAN'T! STOP TELLING ME WHAT TO DO!" Kelly is kinda bossy, I'll admit Sam

"It's never or now! YES! Time to take your foot off the BRAKE!"

The key change and the blended harmony is just ahhhhhh!!

The back and forth call of "WHO LET DOWN WHO?!!' So pretty yet so sad in context

"If we'd only gone that night, then I wouldn't be DEAD!!" Still an OUCH every time I get to this part

"YOU! YOU! YOU! YOU!"

"WE BREAK THE LOCK! WE KICK THE DOOR. TO REACH FOR MORE, WE MAKE THE RULES. We MAKE A VOW. TO BE MAD. GIRL, WE'RE WHAT MATTERS NOW!"

The beginning piano and strings of I know My Girl is pretty

Okay, Sam's mom, Beverly, didn't impress me at first, but I kinda like her in this song. Now I'm hungry for cookies, though :(

Miles to Go, I'm not entirely sure how it's supposed to fit in the plot, but I love it, and it would sound lovely out of context

Freedom callback!!!!! Ahhh!!

Two really pretty songs in a row and one of them Say The Word being about Sam's relationship with Adam and possible sex?? Wow

"Let me go if it's easier. But say the word, and I might have to stay!"

"I wanna love. I wanna ride. I wanna be the girl by your side!"

Moving On is fun (even though they're avoiding the obvious)

"I'M ALIVE. YOU'RE ALIVE!!"

Freedom melody callback part 2

Go Tonight = the second song I've ever heard from this show and one that got me through when I thought I almost lost a friend

"She was- She was sitting on the roof of her beat-up car, half singing, half laughing, half going too far."

"If we're gonna go, we gotta go tonight. GOOOOOOOOOO OOOO TONIGHT!!! 😭

I saw a clip from what must've been a workshop or preview that had Sam singing the words, "She was everything I loved," instead of, "She was everything I'm not...." and honestly, I think both would've worked. 🥰

"SINKING DOWN IN THIE VOID LIKE A CRATER. GETTING LOST IN A WORLD THAT I CAN'T REWIND. IT'S TOO LATE AND IT'S JUST GETTING LATER!" 😭😭

"I unravel until I REMEMBER, SITTING ON THE ROOF OF YOUR BEAT-UP CAR!" 😭😭😭😭

"What I didn't know was that time doesn't stop - prom still has a theme, the valedictorian still gives a speech on a future she knows nothing about." 😭😭😭

Run Away With Me!! That is the first song I ever remember hearing :)

"We'll be on the road like Jack Kerouac, looking back. Sam, you're ready. Let's go!"

The "I'm not trying to make you a wife here!!" isn't helping your case, pal 🙄

Please tell me you broke up with Adam after this, Sam, because Adam does NOT get to pull a Kelly, wip out a Jack Kerouac reference, and ask you to run away with him!! That was Kelly's role.

"Do you wanna die? Do you wanna fail?" OUCH, considering Kelly's dead and Sam has perfectionist issues

"DRRRRIVE!!"

"If you follow my instructions, I can free you. I can make you alive! I CAN DO IT ON MY OWN!!"

All the overlaps in Drive are pretty

"EIGHTEEN YEARS, YOU'RE MY WHOLE LIFE!"

"I don’t wanna be safe!"

The road you take should feel right…The road will tell you who you are!" 😭

Run Away With Me, and My Mom is a Statistician callbacks

What do I want? What do I need? It doesn’t matter if it’s a mistake. It doesn’t matter if I fail. I have to think big. I have to take control. Even if I disappoint everyone. Even if no one ever speaks to me again. I have to feel something!" 😭😭😭😭😭

"LISTEN TO ME!! I never dreamed of running away, but I do dream about the highway. I start driving and keep driving. I can’t stop 'til I feel alive again!" 😭

I Didn't Say Goodbye = another favorite that I've heard before and a really emotional one

"I can't do this alone." 😭😭

"You’re scared. You should be. If you’re not, you’re not doing it right. You do it now, you do it for you, and you do it alone!" 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

"Be mad, Sam. Be careless and wild and squeeze the life out of every second!" 😭😭😭😭

Kelly's crying, Sam's crying, I'm close to crying!

"And do not crash my car. I’m serious. I will like haunt you." I would laugh at that, but I'm trying not to cry

"You take the risk. You pay the cost. You drive until you're lost. And look around. See where you went. And your life will be a MONUMENT!"

"What did I always tell you? Maps are for braindeads? That's right!"😭😭

"I didn't get to say goodbye! Sometimes, you don't get to say goodbye." 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

"I really miss you. I know, it sucks right?"

"I live in what you do! In what you want to do. Now that I'm gone..... I'm moving on!" 😭

"What do you want Sam? I want the deafening sound of driving fast with the windows down! I want to reach the horizon of IMPOSSIBILITY!"

Now we're back where we began with the theme for The Girl Who Drove Away

"Remember this! The racing heart, the faded dawn. Remember this, before the moment’s gone!"

"Remember feeling like your life begins today. Try to stop and feel each second slip away. Remember this"

"REMEMBER EVERYTHING THAT LED YOU HERE! Each road trip and every single tear!"

"You look back on your life. On the girl you were for eighteen years. You look back one more time. THEN YOU LET IT GO!"

Freedom callback one last time.

"Freeeedom! Freeedom! Freeedom! Freeedom! Freeedom! FREEDOOOOOM!!!"

[reviewsthatburn]

*I received a free review copy in exchange for an honest review of this book.��

THE INNOCENT SLEEP, best read after SLEEP NO MORE, is Tybalt’s perspective on the time after Titania’s actions at the end of BE THE SERPENT. Because Tybalt has a radically different perspective than October (even more so than usual), trying to read this book first would spoil some mysteries out of turn. By necessity, as the books are a pair covering much of the time and even a few of the same scenes, some of the resolution is present in both. I love them singly and together, and am working on a long, spoiler-filled essay analyzing some of the key elements in both books.

Full Review at Link

[nieves-de-sugui]

The Story of Live Action BL in Japan

This is an extra post to accompany the history of BL post I did earlier. 

Japan has had live action BL long before Thailand entered the picture. It was however mostly melancolic stories or manga adaptations, until their own particular boom happened. I make a difference between what I would call LGBTQ+ representation and BL Live Action, because even though they have existed parallely they are fundamentally different in their conception. Here is an interview with the curator of an exhibition that was held in Japan about the history of Japanese Queer Cinema. 

The evolution of Japanese BL Live Action has been very slow, and mostly influenced by manga. It is still not a big market, but it has improved a lot in the most recent years. This is my attempt to put it into phases:

The indie like movies and bad manga adaptations

Let’s start with Boys Love (a movie), shall we? 

It is the year 2006 and up to this point there has been a small boom of gay stories in the 1990′s (the first Tokyo International Lesbian & Gay Film & Video Festival was held in 1992 me thinks this might have sprung the yaoi debates). In the 2000's, we're at the start of a new little boom on BL type movies being made. Many of which would be directly released in DVD, with a constant melancholic and tragic approach to love stories between young men. 

Homosexual love is only attarctive to the mainstream if it’s painful. Like typical japanese imposible loves that are explored because of the passion and innevitable tragedy (it’s a japanese trope of almost any kind of romance movie, up to these days). its the intensity of feelings and the poetry of it all. In Boys Love we see those elements that are now very common in BL manga. Straight men falling in love with beautiful young boys and loving them until their tragic end. The movie was released in theatres and was successful enough to get a sequel. Here is a very good review of the movie, to know more about it.

A number of similar movies (with happier endings) follow through. Then enters the Takumi kun series. Based off one of the most popular yaoi novel (and potentially the first live action novel/manga adaptation of BL), it has all the June tropes: Traumatized feminine Takumi, raped by his older brother when he was young, has developped an abberation to human touch which prevents him from making friends. He goes to a boarding school for rich kids where he shares a dorm room with Gii, the most popular kid on the premises, who has fallen in love with him. And it is through that love that Takumi gets over his illness and heals from his past. It was such a success in the BLsphere that it got 4 more movies. I believe it is the bane of @absolutebl existence. 

After the first Takumi-kun movie, the production of BL type movies, or adaptations of manga gets a boost. We go from no more than 3 movies a year to 8 in 2008, ie:

Kindan no Koi Ai no Kotodama Taiikukan Baby

And so it continues. When a manga is popular enough it either gets a Live Action, a drama CD (voice actors record the manga dialogues) or/and a series of OVAs (Original Video Animation). Because that’s how they do marketing in Japan. I believe most, if not all, of these movies go straight to DVD. It’s a treat for the fans. 

The beginning of the shift

As the manga source starts to evolve, so does the live actions. Japanese society starts being more aware of the LGBT (as the term is used for business startegy purposes). As it’s all about what is going to sell, slowly, a slight neutral realism starts to be felt. Melancoly starts to be replaced with happier moods. 

The first adaptation I genienly enjoyed at the time was Seven Days, 2015. A 2 part movie, adapted from the manga, with a very simple story (still no characters properly defined as gay, but maybe they could count as bi?)

While more LGBTQ+ movies get made, the BL Live Action movies remain in the same vein. Adpating what is popular and sticking to the tropes of the time. For example, in 2017 we get simultaneously:

BL - Hidamari ga Kikoeru. A loud and energetic college student becomes friends with a hearing impared classmate, as he helps him take notes for class. 

LGBT - Close Knit. An 11 year old girl gets tossed aside by her mother and goes to live with her uncle, who is dating a transgender woman. 

The Middle Aged Man Phenomenon

Have you wondered why office settings are so popular in japanese BL? Well, it is mostly Ossan’s Love fault in my opinion.

Besides office romances being a staple of japanese tv dramas, in 2016 two major mainstream actors (Tanaka Kei and Yoshida Kotaro) participate in a small short film about a salaryman who discovers his boss is in love with him. A simple comedy filled with misunderstandings and funny shenanigans. As the response to it was very positive, they decided to turn it into a full flegged series. And so, Ossan’s Love comes out on prime television (TV Asahi) for all to see. It is the first time we see a story like this being shown in a mainstream channel, for all and anyone to see.

A year later after the success of Ossan’s Love we get the wonderful Kinou Nani Tabeta/What Di you Eat Yesterday? (2019), which would not have been possible without Ossan’s Love. There was confidence that there was a market for such a story. Followed by the OL movie: Ossan’s Love: Love or Dead. Which was later followed by a horrible horrible second season that nobody wanted. On this year too, Mood Indigo comes out. A sequel to The Novelist/Pornographer, which would secure it’s popularity. It later got a second season.

We are now in a second boom of interest in queer stories. And the number of movies and tv shows grow. Some of the most known:

Novel adaptation - Fujoshi Ukkari gay ni kokoru LGBT Movies - His Dramas - Life: Senjou no Bokura

Queer voices have been increasingly loud and, in 2015, two municipalities put in place a partnership to acknowledge same sex relationships (not recognized outside of those municipalities unfortunately). 

And so, start mixing the homophobia free idealized stories, with more diverse queer content, with the harsh realities of LGBTQ+ people, and the cinematic interest of the filmmakers/directors. 

The rise of the salaryman and the thai breakthrought

Thanks to the appeal of middle aged men, Japan now knows there’s a market to be had in producing BLs, so the adaptations sprout like mushrooms. The ground is ready to bear fruit, and so enters thailand with the big success of 2gether at the beginning of 2020. 

Japan got to have the movie screened in their theatres. Thailand has broken the Japanese market barrier, as soon as the borders open after the pandemic, fanmeetings are held there one after the other.

And then, we get Cherry Magic in late 2020, which continues to cement that the current japanese BL boom is still going strong. 

The Aftermath

The production of BL shows and movies reaches its peak and we get 26 (shows and movies) in 2022. Movies, specials and second seasons are being made.

From Utsukushii Kare 2021 to Strange 2023. Old and new manga gets an adapation and more queer representation grows in media overall.

The story of LGBT representation in shows in Japan

As an extra, I want to put here a few examples of how queer characters, and stories have entered the mainstream of japanese tv dramas. Many mainstream actors have also taken upon portraying such characters. 

Pretty Proofreader (2016) - featured a gay side character, not relevant to the plot.  My Brother’s Husband (2018) mini series - adaptation of Gengoroh Tagame’s manga about a man overcoming his homophobia through getting to know his bother’s husband Life As A Girl (2018) mini series - the life of a lesbian trans woman  Ie Uru Onna S2 (2019) - one episode features different types of LGBT people who want to buy a house and the difficulties they face. Also had some type of side gay stoyline (a little queerbaity)? Ore no Sukato, doko Itta? (2019) - a gay man who dresses as a woman becomes a teacher at a highschool and helps with his is student’s problems.

Special mention to Residential Complex (2018). 

A drama that featured 4 families living in the same residential unit, each with their own fundamental problems. The father in the traditional japanese family was unemployed, the man engaged to a younger second wife who wanted no children ends up having to take care of his son from his previous marriage, the young newlyweds that are eager to have kids can’t concieve and the single architect is actually living with his boyfriend. It was a show that had worked with an LGBT organization to make a faithful protrayal of LGBT realities. 

Final Thoughts

Here is a list of all Japanese BL and Queer media, Japanese BL list. I recommend to check it out to see the variety of adaptations being made today. It is intersting to see the differences in plot in the shows that are adapting current manga (Our Dining Table) and those adapting older manga (Candy Color Paradox). There is also a lot of queer movies and shows worth checking out. Here are my recommendations:

Kamisama no Ekohiiki (series)

Both Me and Him are the Grooms (movie)

I think it is great that Japan is intergrating queer stories and voices to their BLs, as well as adapting more content to the screen. It is a very exciting moment to be living through, but it still feels like it might go away just as fast as it came. Japan is a very conservative country, that embraces change so very slowly. Queer vocies are making noise, but they have yet to manage to make their government listen. Japan is very setback in this sense.

I do no think Japan will be able to have a BL market similar to Thailand for its live action adaptations any time soon. They stick to what they know, which sometimes can be very good and others, bad.

I do hope for BL to keep on doing what it does best for society: subtly normalizing queer lives so that conservative people start welcoming the idea that they're just regular people (who deserve rights, come on Japan). 

Hopefully we’re headed there.  

[suckishima]

kagehina, sakuatsu, yamayachi, kiyoyachi?

Ohhhh so many omg I'll try to keep this concise.

Kagehina: Absolutely makes sense, oddly does not compel me (at least romantically)

I go crazy insane for them as like narrative soulmates, rivals who are obsessed with each other for life. They both have this insatiable hunger for the sport that makes them feed off of each other in this singular way that I can't imagine either of them would ever have with anyone else. Furudate is a genius for the way they intertwine the kagehina relationship, it's so fucking good.

That being said, it's because they compel me so much in that way that they don't really work for me as a typical romantic ship. I totally get why it does work for people though, there's a LOT to work with.

Sakuatsu: Omg don't come for me but uhh, they don't make sense and it does not compel me...

😫 Sorryyy I just don't gett it. They barely speak in canon and I always saw their dynamic as mild at best. And then a lot of the interpretations I see of them in fanon aren't really my personal taste. Also I think my apathy toward them also comes from me being really picky about how Atsumu is characterized in fanon stuff

Yamayachi: Oh yeah this makes sense, but also does not compel me.

It's fine, they're cute. But that's about it for me. It just doesn't go much deeper than that I think and I enjoy them better as friends. Friendship potential HUGE I think tho, I think they'd have a lot to bond over in terms of like, feeling like they're on the outside, and just general anxiety things too. (plus i generally hc yachi as a lesbian and yamaguchi as bi and i always like to imagine them bonding over that when yamaguchi figures his shit out, but i'm pretty loose about how strictly i apply headcanons like that and it's not at all the main factor in not compelling me to them as a ship)

Kiyoyachi: Heyyyy the first makes sense AND compels me! Yay!

Not sure I even need to defend this one lol. SO many scenes, so many. Yachi is in love with her, borderline canon—and attracted to her? even closer to canon lmao. But of course their bond is more than just whatever fledgling crush Yachi probably has in the beginning, theres genuine care and respect and understanding.

The problem is,, and it hurts me, but they compel me the most when they're one-sided.. I think this is mostly bc of how affected I am by canon. I love them, I love them together, but also the potential for angst with them is SO high that I end up not engaging much with them as a pairing bc I don't like to read sad things about characters I love lmao. But then if I read happy fluffy things where they're the main pairing being explored, it sort of just feels, off to me—and while it's nice and cute, it compels me less?? Idk it's weird push and pull. Fanart rather than fic is the perfect happy medium with them for me, I think

Send me ships and I'll talk about whether they compel me!

[beep3]

So spoilers for X-Men #30 ahead

Talon died as she lived, doing pretty much nothing other than existing to serve Synch’s development as a character.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m almost happy she’s gone, I hated Talon and pretty much everything she stood for. From the very beginning the idea of splitting Laura into two characters is just dumb. The only reasoning I can identify is that Marvel wanted to satisfy the fans that wanted Laura to stay as Wolverine and keep her character development from years of comics, and the ‘fans’ that insist she should go back to being X-23, both in title and personality.

Which of course is inherently dumb, anyone who wants Laura to go back to using that name clearly doesn’t understand the character in the slightest, and probably hasn’t read many of her comics either. It’s beyond easy to say that she would *despise* having to go by X-23 again, it goes against pretty much every aspect of her character arc, anyone who insists she should return to being X-23 almost definitely doesn’t actually care about Laura’s personality or character, they just don’t want her to have the Wolverine mantle, feel free to fill in the blanks for why that is. Although I’m sure they’ll insist they wouldn’t mind if she went by another mantle instead, like talon.

Regardless, Talon always felt like a low-effort way of making Laura act like she did as X-23 again, with the added effect of tying her entirely to a random relationship of one-sided character development.

So I can’t say I’m too choked up that Talon died, but the realisation that this is the ‘original’ Laura Kinney that we watched escape the Facility, make human connections for the first time, progress and learn to be more than a weapon, to learn that she’s a real person who is valued and loved, the character we saw grow for over twenty years of comics in such an insanely well-executed character arc, the idea that *this* is how she died, doing nothing other than serving Synch’s development is just outright sickening. Or at least it is to me, someone who is way too invested in a fictional comic character for their own good lmao.

Not enough people talk about how random their relationship is, Laura and Everett interacted maybe *once* in their entire publication histories before the Vault, and randomly over one issue they end up in a relationship, no setup, no real interaction, they just apparently decided to start dating because they were trapped in the vault for hundreds of years?

I’ve always believed Laura was queer, Craig Kyle has stated a desire to write a story about it, Marjorie Liu even supposedly intended it in Laura’s solo series, I don’t mind if she’s bi, a lesbian, trans, etc, but even outside of a queer relationship there were *countless* other characters Laura has formed bonds with over the years that would of made more sense than just randomly deciding to have her date a completely random character out of nowhere.

Of course this isn’t the first time it’s happened, Laura has a weird history of romance that pretty much constantly caused that to happen. Angel did the same, and even practically abused Laura, mocking her for cutting herself, and generally mistreating her throughout their relationship.

Throughout New X-Men her relationship was pretty similar, focusing a lot more on Julian’s/Hellion’s development more than her own, of course in Marjorie Liu’s X-23 series the tables got turned and the inverse happened, so I guess that evens things out?

Regardless, the relationship with Synch feels especially creepy, trapping Laura in a vault for years and basically forcing a relationship is dodgy enough, but the way it’s phrased in this panel is just even creepier.

Is there really a message to take from all of this? Not one that I can find. Maybe that Laura just has bad luck with the number 30? Pretty sure All-New X-Men #30 is when Laura’s creepy relationship with Angel started. It’s interesting that Talon or Wolvie-Laura didn’t die like how she was foreshadowed to in the Infinity Comics.

I guess the real potential message you can take is that Talon isn’t *really* dead? My best guess is that they’re going to telepathically fuse both Laura’s together again, which I guess is the best case scenario, I can only hope the Synch relationship doesn’t follow…

[katyspersonal]

Tbh I've had strange experiences with gender perception ranging from just experimenting with pronouns to not feeling "counted" when someone mentioned women as a class to feel euphoric when some people kept confusing me for a guy when I cut my hair too short to having such absurd agony about not having a dick it drives me up the wall and sometimes makes me cry (still happens). It is like this with fiction and fantasies: there are times I very strongly identify with male character mental image, or of neither gender.

And at the same time it is temporary, too? In other periods I do see myself as female, I identify with this class and this mental image, I am very comfortable with my body as it is. Like today I boil with rage if someone refers to me as "she" instead of "they", but in a week I'll feel anger if I am excluded from "female fans" in the community.

To think of it, it is a lot like moon cycles, or like water at the shore pulling forward or flushing back depending on the cycle. And it is all very similar with sexuality too? I fall into periods where I feel like lesbian or like straight, even though for most of the times I stay in bi range. The way most of my alters work as status effects rather than directly come out doesn't help at all either because it gets to the point when I have to question where "I" even starts and ends to begin with. I think I might really just go "I am me" because whatever definition I find for myself no longer works in some time, but also it might start working again later, but that is also temporary. It just feels like water and darkness... though some alters persist with images of light and fire instead, even though I keep gaining and losing them like Malenia. 😑 They sprout from different sources. And sometimes they're born of copying someone else's vibe or gender. They are like parasites: my experience, my development as a person and my comprehension of self just gets absorbed by that thing in my stead and all when it can just... fall of? And either turn into an OC I have control over like some doll, as if was never thinking and living, or just vanish. It's like I haven't learned anything and I just cling onto faint memories of what it understood and said.

I don't know... it is just always growing and moving around and dying and new things sprout. But it is also like water being pulled by the moon. There are temporary things, and there are consistent things that appear and leave. It is just too many experiences even when I literally just sit down and do nothing. I mean I don't owe anyone stability or coherent definition. Corporations just see our flags as labels of a resource or a product so they'd know what to do with them anyways. Maybe not having a place and being more of a concept than a defined person is a blessing

[beetlejuce]

I might be spiralling so uh. Gender/sexuality vent under the cut, all 1,000+ words of it.

When I first came out to my family as trans FTM at around 13, it didn't work out in the end due to reaching a plateau following social transition and a haircut, coming from my parents not supporting me and my hesitation. I was beginning to explore my attraction to men. I learned to love men the way gay men love men because of this, because I saw myself as a boy at the time, so that's just the way things flowed.

Because of the complex relationship I've had with my gender identity since adolescence there will always be something queer about the essence of my attraction to men, no matter how it manifests. As of right now, I don't feel an urgency to change anything about my body to make it less feminine/more masculine. Am I dysphoric? I don't know, it's past midnight, so I don't exactly trust how I feel about myself now. If I were stranded on a desert island I'd be chill with what I've got, as of February 2025.

But still... post-desisting, while I did what felt most authentic to my own self, I have a lot of woes about my role as someone who appears and functions primarily as a cis(❓)het(❌) woman. I won't lie, there is comfort in the privilege of being seen as such, and not having to deal with the brunt of being visibly LGBT in a conservative state. Had I continued my transition in Part 2 Electric Boogaloo of coming out as trans again last year, my life would have been infinitely harder. I'd lose my extended family, the respect of my peers, and my entire livelihood.

But there is part of me, something so visceral, raw, and impassioned, about the way I love men, and my connections to the way men love each other. It can be oh so tender. It can be downright filthy. I find something so beautiful about it that runs so much deeper, in a way that I can't even put into words. It is nothing like what I've observed of how straight cis women are attracted to men. I don't think I'm a man, but I so badly wish I could experience gay love. As someone who's lived as a trans man for developmental parts of my life, I was more deeply entrenched in gay male culture, community, customs, and history than anything close to straight "culture." If by culture, proudly unwashed man-ass, Crocs with socks, and women becoming their boyfriends' mothers count as such. I hate it. So much. I have never felt more alienated by anything, ever, than when I think about cisheteronormative standards of what a relationship should be like. How men and women should look. Conventional norms of how women should act. I want absolutely nothing to do with it. All the games men and women play with each other, the expectations. Oh my god. Literal. Hell. The average cishet men of my generation are also just fucking pigs, and I feel doomed when I imagine myself ending up with one forever. I'm sure you get what I'm hinting at if you've made it this far (why?). I want nothing to do with it, but alas, that IS the gender I am attracted to. On the other hand, I couldn't relate to lesbian culture either, or at least not entirely. I do relate to gay (male) culture though, in a way that is near and dear to my heart. Every piece of pain gay/bi men feel for who they love is another knife to the heart for me, it feels like an attack on them like an attack on myself. I've always felt a pull towards man-loving notions of loving and attraction to men. I am a woman. Well.

By dictionary definitions and societal standards, I function like a regular-degular cishet woman. I'm okay with being perceived as a woman currently, as I go with what feels right at the moment, a fact that has proved itself to be clear since 2016. People can't usually tell what a disaster my relationship with gender has been over the years just by looking at me. And while I do consider myself bisexual, I also, admittedly, have a streak of being boy-crazy. In practice, I am the eeeeevil stereotype of "bisexual girl who isn't actually that into women" that everyone got up in arms about when that Who Is Truly Allowed At Pride Parades And Chappell Roan Concerts discourse happened last year.

So like, I'm losing regardless. Is it too much to want genuine connection to a guy with a kind heart? Oh, that's right, every man I end up liking is either taken or GAY.

There's a reason why I'd never dare to admit this to the cis gay men I do know. They'd look at me like I was insane and told them I have 7 nipples, which, 1/2. I've seen how horrible some can be about trans men, genderqueer people, and feminine gays in the gay community, I don't feel the need to justify shit and prove myself. I just am. There is no acceptable way of explaining why I feel the way I do about men because this fact is mine and my own only. It doesn't even make sense to me, so why would it make sense to someone who's likely never had to introspect on their identity in their life?

Am I just like, a genderfucky girlfag? Can I even say that? Am I queering and overcomplicating something as simple as liking dudes? Did I fry my brain with AO3? Whatever. I need to date a bisexual artsy dude with weird pronouns. Get yelled at for feeling more "myself" when around queer men. Ogle guys' pits and fall asleep thinking about jockstraps and eating male ass like literally none of the other straight girls that have ever existed, ever. In the history of ever.

Y'know what it is? After rereading this bullshit? I need healthier, wholesome examples of what M/F relationships can look like, because my GOD it is bleak. I still love like this though.

[nocompromise-noregrets]

💖🍖🌈🍩❌ dealers choice please? <3

oooh thank you! and I'm sorry it's taken me a couple of days...now, let's see. Which ones haven't I done so far? *ponders* y'know what, I'm going to do Two of a Kind, because I deserve a treat. :D I know hardly anyone cares about my disastrous boys but I do and I'm going to make that everyone's problem. XDDDDD

💖 [Heart] What is your favorite moment in this WIP? It's hard to say but I think it's probably the moment in chapter 15 of Hal Peacock's Life Is Perfectly Fine As It Is, Thank You when Jack, at the absolute end of his tether, accidentally-on-purpose spills Hal's second-most closely-guarded secret in front of the people he's keeping it secret from, and in the process completely accidentally spills his own second-most closely-guarded secret in front of the person he's keeping it secret from (Hal, in other words). The chapter summary is In which Jack lobs a grenade into Hal’s personal life, but manages to get himself caught in the blast. and it really really is exactly that dramatic. Idiots. :D

🍖 [Meat] How many fictional people were harmed in the making of this WIP? Three, I think - Hal, Jack, and Lawrie (Hal's partner in guitar-related crime who spends the first few chapters in rehab and then the next few not getting on spectacularly well with his boyfriend as a result).

🌈 [Rainbow] If at the beginning of your WIP the characters knew about the end, would they kill you to stop you from writing it? Oh, absolutely. Jack has made many, many attempts on my life over the years. :D He's more or less resigned to it at this point but that's only because we've managed to get him to a much better place as a result of the story.

🍩 [Donut] What's the weirdest thing someone eats in your WIP? What's the best thing? Food doesn't get mentioned very much, probably because it's not all that important to me and I'd rather just get on with the story, I can't be bothered with wasting time describing what everyone's eating, but Jack has a very entertaining voyage of discovery with relation to mulled wine towards the end of part 3. There's a barbecue in the current final chapter of that part, which I haven't got to yet, but nothing particularly weird gets eaten there either. Jack does, however, absolutely pull Christmas dinner out of the bag, despite never having actually done Christmas before.

❌ [Cross] What would your WIP get cancelled on Twitter for? ahahahahahahAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA oh my god, literally everything about it. Hal and Jack spent their teenage years on the street earning their living from sex work, Jack is a CSA survivor, there is drug use and irresponsible, (possibly unprotected, I can't remember) sex and a lot of swearing and both of them existing in close proximity to a kid (Hal has a daughter) and Jack is utterly obnoxious, antisocial and very poorly adjusted; neither of them are dealing with their trauma very well at all; there's a drag queen and mention of kink at Pride in some of the later ficlets, a lot of antisocial punk rock n' roll, almost everyone is queer (Hal's band is described more than once as 'the gayest band in the North'), Hal is bi/pan, Jack's demi/ace and has no idea until one of the later ficlets, Hal's bass player is a lesbian Black woman in a rock band, there's an aroace character, Hal's ex (the kid's mother) is biracial although it hasn't actually come up yet (her father is Ugandan Asian, I think, although I haven't quite figured it all out yet, and her mother's parents were of the Windrush generation), it's originally loosely inspired by real people, I could genuinely go on all day. Twitter would hate it. On the other hand, if that sounds like something anyone here might be interested in, the whole series is here. :D :D :D

wheeee thank you for asking! anyone else want to ask me any questions about any of my WIPs? (especially more questions about Two of a Kind actually, because I really enjoyed this :D :D :D )

[wawamouse]

Hello, I would love to hear anything on "In the Course of Destiny" or "In The Blink of an Eye" but if you don't want to give commentary on those: ⭐star⭐ Any commentary on any of your fics would be pretty cool! If you don't want to do this anymore please ignore. Thank you

Heeeeheeee "In the Course of Destiny" (-_- God, why'd I give it such a long title)! I'm actually working on this wip again after getting a bunch of other fics out of the way, so yay! Hopefully there'll be a chapter update before a year has passed lmao. So close to finishing, yet so far! I've mentioned before I'm pretty sure, but I started this fic completely intending to just write a quick crack fic to palate cleanse coming off writing the "Something Deranged" series. UMMMMM… Yeah, first of all, aside from Miguel crawling through a dryer to escape into another world, it's not really crack at all LOL. (But I guess the dryer portal is very strange if you stop to think about it).

Also, as I've mentioned (whined) before in a wip wednesday post as well as in the author's notes, when I initially conceived of the idea of Miguel hopping to a parallel universe, I was just going to have him hop over, hang out with Carmy for a bit—literally just follow him around after he gets off work—have a yaoi moment, and hop back (+some mild spoilers for ch.6). This seemed a bit too random to me, and because I love plot, I decided to add a robbery element to it last minute. Here is literally the moment I was deciding how to end ch.1, from a DM to a friend who hasn't seen the show lol:

I actually like that I went with the adventure plot, although it forced me to nix some stuff that I'd originally planned to write. In an earlier version, Alonzo works at the pawn shop with Carmy. Their relationship is interesting to me in this series; I think Chico and Torquemada don't think very much of each other in Miguel's original universe and hardly interact, but on the Other Side, Carmy and Alonzo are friends of sorts. I jokingly (to myself up to this point I am sharing it with you all) refer to the Other Side as the Gayer Side also bc one of the things I headcanon (without really writing it that way) is that Carmy—compared to Chico—is more attracted to men (still bi tho). When Miguel shows up out of nowhere, Carmy really just humors him because he's hot.

“This is going to sound crazy,” he says, “But I know you, Chico.” There’s a beat, and then Chico licks his lips, briefly glancing past Miguel like he’s checking for anyone else before he crosses his arms and shifts his weight back on one foot—This shit oughta be good. “Oh, you do?” he says, playful. “‘Cause as far as I’m concerned, you were hiding in the merchandise for the last two hours, and I’ve never seen you in my life. But you know me, huh, chico?”

^ Carmy at this point thought he was being hit on by a hot weirdo.

Also (I don't mention it outright but) the Consuela in this fic is a lesbian, hence Carmy being like "??? She's my what??"

Other tidbits... I talk about it here but I had to physically storyboard the scene where Miguel meets Alonzo because I am so bad at imagining spaces and I was really struggling with keeping that moment in his POV, description wise.

Mentioned this elsewhere as well, but originally, I was going to have Carmy either just go by Carmen on the Other Side or go by Melo (from Carmelo). But that felt somewhat too removed, plus then there'd be two M names to deal with.

Oh, one of the very specific-to-this-fic writing choices I made was to include Miguel's thoughts in parentheticals throughout his chapters. I did this to represent moments he's more lost in his own anguish—maybe you noticed, maybe you didn't, but there's a lot less of those parenthetical interruptions near the end of his day on the Other Side, and at the beginning of chapter 4, when he's completely at ease. To that end, ch.5, which will be from Carmy's POV, will have no parentheticals. Another thing that I wanted to do throughout Miguel's POV was still flash back to the primary universe, having the stuff that happened there still affect him and torment him lol. I actually really enjoyed writing the angst of all the flashback scenes (writing the Other Side is actually really hard lol).

I think this fic's Miguel is the most tortured post-canon version I've ever written? Mostly because he's so lonely at that point. He's misses Chico a lot and feels more vulnerable to Torquemada while also being incredibly disgusted with himself for exchanging sexual favors for D-tabs (in other fics, I kind of hand wave it and think Torquemada doesn't actually want to get involved / his whole thing is keeping a distance, but in this fic, that's not the case). This fic is also, I think, the most negatively I've written Torquemada? At least from Miguel's POV. He straight up hates him and is creeped out by him, which creates to him the greater contrast of Alonzo, on the Other Side, who is just kind of offbeat but overall friendlier and doesn't cross boundaries.

It's basically thinking about Chico that pulls Miguel into the Other Side, and thinking about Chico that takes him back (not to be gross LOL but I made sure to make the rules of that magic such that the portal opens and takes Miguel if he is in contact with Chico fluids while thinking about escape) (yup, that's the logic) (the blood stain in the concrete counts). He experiences roughly 12 hours on the Other side while several days have passed in the main universe.

Hm, I think Destiny's gotten so big at this point that I don't really know where else to commentate. I'll probably post some more deleted scenes or other tidbits in the future when I've finished it!

But that's a bit of the inside scoop for now!