#and therefore couldn't help but think of each other in the worst light

[xiv-wolfram]

10 What scares them about entering a relationship?

Oof, this one may need a breakdown per xpac. Wolfram and Raubahn both had a lot of fears. This will have spoilers for my comic/script series. That can be followed here.

15 years pre-ARR:

They both were nervous because committed relationships were new for them both. Plus they fell in love *quick*. (We're gonna blame their ancients for that BTW) Wolf was worried Raubahn wouldn't love him if he knew about his past - which is why he got into it with no intention of ever telling him. Unfortunately, 2 years later the bond with Rau had made him a better person. He was planning to propose and couldn't in good conscience keep up the lie. Obviously, telling Rau confirmed his fear (in his mind anyway) as he was instantly dumped.

ARR:

Wolfram - He didn't think Rau would ever talk to him again, much less befriend him. He never stopped loving Raubahn but a relationship wasn't even on his mind as a possibility so he didn't even think about it enough to be scared.

Raubahn - It didn't occur to him until the patches when he realized he was in love with the man he had left for basically being completely at odds with his own morality. Who had made him so angry that night he didn't recognize himself - he went through a lot of self-doubt. Had he no pride? Even if he pushed that aside, would Wolf feel the same way after so long? Plus he was scared of what the Monetarists would do if he had any public romantic partner, much less the Warrior of Light. Political nightmare. Still, he was a bit flirty, he couldn't help it.

HW:

Wolfram - Still didn't think Rau cared about him like that so wasn't even considering a relationship. Despite the fact that they called each other's linkshell almost every day and then made out / almost slept together on the night of the Grand Melee. Dude gaslit himself into the friend zone. 😅

Raubahn - The events of the Bloody Banquet made him very introspective. He couldn't help but draw a comparison from his rage that night to his rage the night Wolf told him his past all those years ago. He was scared Wolf could never forgive him. He formally apologized to his friend on a linkshell call and Wolf told him there was nothing wrong with him - he's patient and kind. He deserved Rau's anger and so did the Monetarists (he literally wanted to join Rau to fight them). That pretty much relieved the fears Rau had and he decided to try and get back together if Wolf was interested. They were even flirty with each other. When Wolf stopped things the night of the melee, it made Rau think he wasn't interested for a moment, but then he realized Wolf was likely just in his own head about it so he'd give him time and not bring it up.

SB:

Before the patches, they were basically dating without realizing they were. Everyone else thought they were a couple. Despite there being every sign that Rau was interested, Wolf kept gaslighting himself.

Wolfram - In the first patch, the night Raubahn was basically fired by his best friend. Wolf stuck around when Nanamo left to comfort him. Rau was very sad, feeling like the life he built himself had ended and upset that he wouldn't be able to protect the Sultana. He was lost and impulsively told Wolf he loved him and wanted them to be together. It caught Wolf totally by surprise. Then terror. He had recently helped Rhun and Arya deal with Lilith which really hit home how dangerous and unpredictable being possessed by a voidsent is. He couldn't risk being so close to the love of his life if there was a possibility of his voidsent taking over. For some reason, the voice in his head was always louder around Rau, in his mind making it an even greater risk. Scared is an understatement to how he felt and therefore he handled the situation in the worst way possible - not properly explaining how he felt and leaving.

Raubahn - He was completely heartbroken when Wolf turned him down and left without giving him straight answers. He would have even been okay if Wolf had turned him down and stayed to comfort him as a friend. So when Wolf left he was sad and then angry - wondering if he had led him on for some reason. Making (incorrect) guesses about why Wolf wouldn't want him.

ShB:

Wolf had the same fears but in the end, Wolf told Rau about them so at least the commander wasn't angry with him anymore. Wolf feared the voidsent. Rau feared the pain of being near him when he wanted more than friendship. So they became just colleagues who hardly talk but love each other very much and they both know it.

EW:

Wolfram - Once he learned he was no longer possessed, he started to fear where the voidsent went and if it could return somehow. Later Rau told him a potential possibility about the fiend's fate, which embarrassed Wolf more than anything. So he was scared that even if he was no longer a danger - he was still not worthy of Raubahn (or happiness in general).

Rau - Wasn't scared at all. He (very smugly) *knew* they'd get back together. He was extremely flirty and relaxed. He was right.

Wolf just had to die to stop second-guessing himself. They got married when Wolf returned to Sharlayan.

During the patches, it's no fear - all awesome battle couple stuff. (Rau goes with him to 13th). DT should be similar so please look forward to it 😂

Original Ask Meme

[biillys]

thinking about max and her having dark thoughts about billy and living with the guilt of it all when the worst truly did happen to him. 

like it wasn’t her fault and it’s never gonna be her fault but that doesn’t mean it isn’t gonna weigh on her specifically, especially those nights when she can’t sleep or when she has to catch the bus to school instead of getting driven or when she has to make herself dinner becos her mum’s never home now. 

and there’s probably always gonna be a little voice inside her head telling her she got exactly what she wished for. 

that maybe if she was a better sister, maybe if she cared more, maybe if she had done literally anything differently - maybe things wouldn’t have turned out the way they did. maybe billy would’ve survived, maybe he would’ve never been dragged into the mess in the first place.

but none of that happened, and instead he’s dead, and barely anyone even remembers his name, let alone mentions it. 

but then also thinking about how billy probably had similar dark thoughts about max, not necessarily in that context, but like. 

sometimes, on the shitty days, when he was fucking over it; wishing that his dad would just have a go at her, the actual problem, instead of him.

that maybe, instead of pushing him around for bringing her home late - pushing her around instead for being the actual reason they were late. he’s not asking for a fucking hospital visit, but maybe just something to make her fucking understand. 

he knows life isn’t fair, and complaining about it will get him nowhere - but god, sometimes the way she can do no wrong and the way he can only do wrong makes him wanna scream.

and when it finally happens, when he finally comes home one day to a subdued max and a tense neil, he wants to feel relieved. wants to be happy that it's finally both of them getting the full neil treatment, not just him. but instead he just feels guilty, like absolute fucking shit.

he tries to get her to talk to him, to give him a clue on what went down, but she's having none of it. pairs the bruise on her cheek with a miserable mood but doesn't complain once. does the dishes without being told and puts the garbage out even though that's usually billy's job.

billy doesn't sleep that night all. loses his appetite every time he see's the mark on her face.

the 2nd time it happens, billy's there to witness it. doesn't even realise anythings about to happen til it's too late. didn't realise his dad, who's let max run wild with her friends since the second the got to hawkins, all of a sudden has a real stick up his ass about max going out with them. turns out, she didn't either; she completely brushes neil off and gets ready to walk out the door before neil's voice rings out, stopping her in her tracks. billy knows the tone well, it's rooted billy to the spot, paralysed with dread and anger, more times than he can count.

max is at least smart enough to turn around and listen, which billy considers a win. she doesn't fight back like billy thought she would. was worried she would. hoped she would. instead, she let's neil have his shitty dad monologue, before she goes to push past him to hide out in her room. neil grabs her by the arm before she can get far, asks her if she understands. makes sure she verbally repeats the words to him before he lets her go.

if billy wasn't such a shitty excuse of an older brother, he could've stopped that. could've stepped in between, gotten himself involved, protected her.

but there's a phantom pain across his face, and flashing memories of his mom yelling at neil to let him go, holding up some frozen peas to his nose, telling him to stop involving himself when his dad gets like this, to keep himself safe, save himself.

and he knows this isn't the same, that he's the oldest now, the one meant to protect; but his own protector fucking left, and his idea of being a hero is messed up, and max is a big fucking kid that doesn't need her battles fought for her. max should know by now to listen to neil the first time, instead of brushing him off.

billy walks away.

(he never gets a chance to step in the third time.)

[railingsofsorrow]

Revelations

[JJ Maybank × Reader]

summary: the one where jj maybank realizes what everyone has been saying this whole time.

pairing: jj maybank × fem!reader

word count: 1.9K

warnings/content: just a tiny bit of angst in the beginning; wholesome moments with the pogues; mentions of being in a boat? if that bothers you; slight misunderstanding; kiara playing cupid; soft JJ ™; some kissing; friends to lovers typa vibe.

A/N: this one's been sitting on my drafts for a while and I decided to post it. FORGIVE MY GRAMMAR, it hasn't been my strongest day I'm still grieving duskwood.

➶ ➷

You haven't been alright for a few days now. Some things happening at home that you had no control of but the blame still fell on you. And there was nothing you could do about it. But your mind wandered to the worst king of places. Except for when your friends were around. Then, your brain gave you a bit of a rest.

“Whatcha' thinking, huh?” Kiara nudged your shoulder playfully. You were on the HMS Pogue, smoking a joint to relax after class. The boys would meet you there soon.

Accepting the stick, you inhaled the substance slowly, closing your eyes. You wanted to forget every problem you had that day. But it was just so hard.

“If I did well on the math test.” You lied swiftly. You got that skill from your mother.

Kiara gave you a judgemental look, pulling the joint from your fingers as if that had been some kind of offense towards her.

“Right. Only you would be thinking about school stuff while we're out here away from that hell hole.”

You smiled sadly and leaned your cheek on her shoulder. “I'm so tired, Kie.” You said, letting out a sigh.

An arm wrapped around you gently, “You wanna take a nap on me? Just lay down.”

Not that kind of tired.

Although you did lay down. As soon as your head was on her lap you fell into a light slumber, with the sound of calm waves dancing in your ears.

It seemed you were that kind of tired, because when the boys arrived yelling profanities at each other like usual you didn't even acknowledged them.

JJ's grin only widened as he saw you were present. When his feet landed on the boat, he immediately went towards your sleeping frame.

Kiara mentioned for him to not bother you.

He rolled his eyes, crouching down next to you. “Hi, princess.” He said quietly, observing your calm features. He smoothed down the slightest crease in your forehead, careful not to wake you up. He knew things hadn't been great at home and therefore you should be enjoying every piece of peace you had. Leaving a longing kiss on your cheek, he stood up and moved closer to the boys again.

Pope was still staring at him when he approached them; a look being exchanged between him, Kiara and John B.

“What are you lookin' at?” JJ pushed, frowning at Pope's weird expression. He turned to his other best friend once he heard a laugh. “What's happening? Am I missing the joke here?”

Kiara mumbled something he couldn't hear and John B. made sure to keep laughing.

“You're in love with her. That's what's happening.” Pope said plainly, sitting down on the deck of the boat. “Can't even disguise it in the slightest.”

JJ scoffed at him in disbelief. Now it has just gotten to another level. The pogues mocked him about having a crush on you— alright. He even admitted it once. Because who wouldn't have a crush on you? Have they even taken a look at you? Kiara had a thing for you for a while, too. It wasn't that weird. You were friends. Friends could have crushes on each other. But being in love? Too much. Definitely.

JJ tried to convince himself that this wasn't his case. He wasn't that too far gone for you..... was he?

He looked at the other two to see if they shared the same thought on the matter. By their faces, they certainly did. God, what?!

“Shut the fuck up, Pope.” He snarled helplessly, frowning as he struggled to open the bear bottle.

“Wanna help with that, pretty thing?” You questioned, letting out a yawn due to just have woken up. That was a good nap, at least. JJ swallowed dry when you came closer and pulled the bear away from his hands.

Well, he might as well be too far gone. There was no way no one wouldn't fall for your little actions or your spontaneous way of be.

Hooked on the top of your jeans laid a keychain with a tin opener. You have gained it from him a while ago and that never left your clothes whenever you went to. It was always helpful, somehow. Which was the only reason you carried it with you, not because it reminded you of JJ, of course. “There. You still suck at opening those, by the way.” You mocked, poking his sunburned cheek as you walked towards Pope and sat beside him on the deck to watch the sunset.

“Close your mouth, you don't want to catch flies.” John B. said to him, chugging down his beer as he jumped to the conductor's area of the boat.

“Hey, lover boy.” Kiara greeted as JJ rested by her side. He groaned in response. “You should say something to her.”

JJ stared at her as if she was crazy, “What? And what should I say exactly, Kie? All of you took that crappy weed from last time, didn't you? Cause it only could be it. Not in love with anyone here.”

Kiara shrugged; she kind of expected the denial coming from him. Just like it came from her. “Sure. There's just some things you can't change, JJ.”

He gave her a sideways glance.

“Like the things she tells only you. Not even me. You know how many secrets she kept from me just this week? Oh, at least a thousand.” Kiara huffed out a laugh, leaning back on the body of the boat to feel the sun on her skin. “But I just know she's told you everything and I don't even have to ask. It's just by looking at you guys to see. You share something that... Well, friends don't share that something.”

The blond boy almost spit out his drink, “We're not macking on each other, Kiara.” He hissed, eyeing the deck to see if you or Pope had listened to anything. No. Your head was resting against Pope's shoulder and his cheek on the top of your head. Something in JJ's chest pinched.

“I know you're not.” She rolled her eyes. “But don't you want to?” Kiara didn't need his answer to know it.

That got him by surprise and he averted his blue eyes elsewhere, sipping on the bottle to prevent from answering.

Kiara smirked. “You sly motherfucker!” She kicked his knee to force him to look at her. “Just act on it, JJ. What's wrong with you? So straightforward usually.”

He watched the pair on the front of the boat once again before shaking his head. He wouldn't deny it anymore. At least not to Kie. She was pretty high, he noticed. She would forget this conversation by tomorrow morning.

“It's different.” I've-never-felt-this before-different. Jesus, what was that, a fucking fairytale? He might as well gain wings now. “She's not interested anyway.”

“Don't be crazy.”

“Look at that,” JJ lifted Kiara's chin in yours and Pope's direction. You were talking quietly about something, probably a new formula to save the world from a still-not-found-disease. “Tell me how I have a chance, Kie.” He averted his attention towards the sea.

Kiara slapped his thigh, which made him let out a sound of pain. When he looked at her to ask what on earth was that, she had a wavering finger pointed to him. JJ narrowed his eyes at her trying to be serious while clearly being high.

“They're like siblings, you idiot. How can you even...” She trailed off, shaking her head. “She doesn't like him like that either.”

JJ perked up at that, “What do you mean?”

Kiara waved him off and went back laying down on the wooden bench.

“Kie,” He frowned. “Kie.” He whined, nudging her leg. “What do you mean?”

Kiara didn't wake up for a while, and it wasn't long until you were alone on the deck, enjoying the sunlight in your body. Your feet hanging out of the boat. You loved that feeling of freedom. This environment was the perfect distraction you needed from home.

“Hi,” You felt something being pressed against your head and opened your eyes. JJ had sat right beside you, one leg crossed over as the other hung out of the boat just like yours. His hair was a bit wild because of the wind and the missing hat that usually held it back in place.

You adjusted his cap on your head, making a salute gesture to him.

“Hello, pretty thing. How are you?” You asked the blond, turning your body slightly towards him. Almost subconsciously, that was what always happened.

“I'm in paradise,” JJ exclaimed, pointing to their surroundings with his head.“...so I'm great, princess. You?”

You grinned at his response, “Same as you, baby.” You took the liberty to slide closer to the boy, pulling your legs over his. JJ leaned back, fingers grazing your tight softly as he looked at the horizon.

Every time your attention would drift to the same place: his eyes. It was unconscious, you'd caught yourself studying his bright blue orbs which were so full of emotion and always glinted with something. You loved JJ Maybank's eyes. Mostly because they revealed everything about him.

JJ could feel his side profile burn and he turned to you, who quickly looked away with a scrunch of your nose. You were embarrassed that he caught you staring.

His grin widened and he leaned down closer to you “Like what you see, princess?”

“You had an eyelash on your cheek...”

“Oh, did I?” He pretended to be impressed, “Take it out then. Let's make a wish together.”

You rolled your eyes heavily, pushing him playfully. “I wish for you to shut the hell up, Maybank.”

“But you love my voice.” He pouted, tilting his head and causing light blonde strands to fell in his eyes. You shook your head with a small smile.

You raised your fingers, brushing his locks back carefully. “I do love it, but that doesn't make you any less annoying.”

A smirk grew on his lips as he leaned on your touch slightly, “Mhm.”

“JJ,” You whispered, drawing his nose with your pointer finger until it reached his mouth. “Can I ask you something?”

His heart skipped a beat.

“Sure.”

You straightened your back to be able to reach him better, hands finding their way to the nape of his neck. Your body moved on its own now.

“If I kissed you now... What would you do?”

“You have to ask?” He croaked out, eyes not leaving your lips in a daze.

Smiling, you finally closed any line of space you had between you two. His lips were soft against yours, moving in a slow rhythm. He tasted like mint and cheap bear. And the feeling of his hands on your neck, pulling you closer, made your stomach do little flips.

Whistles and yelling took you out of your moment, causing you to split apart against your will for simple curiosity. You shouldn't have.

Behind you was John B. and Kiara laughing like crazy, tinting their bear bottles, as a disappointed Pope passed the money to them. He was still smiling a little.

“They made a bet on us, didn't they?” You asked, turning back to JJ and burying your face in his neck. His chest vibrated in a chuckle as his arms embraced you slowly, he wanted to feel closer. Your body warmth soon matched his.

“Yeah, princess.” He left a kiss on exposed neck, causing you to shiver slightly. “They so did a bet on us.”

After a while he yelled back to the three, “And we want half of it!”

[hollandsmoose]

the way home

A/N: This was just supposed to be a tiny blurb, but once I got started, I just couldn't shut up again. So here you go, my loves, here's 1.6k of pure friends-to-lovers fluff!

—————

You should have brought a jacket. You realize that the second you step out of the pub, Tom a few meters ahead of you and therefore unable to see the way you shudder when the cool air hits your skin.

It's just a short walk home from the pub, you'd told yourself, I don't need a jacket. God, you'd been wrong. Curse your past self for not trusting your instincts. It may be mid-July, and it may have been pretty warm when you left your flat earlier, but you should've known better than to not bring a jacket on a night out. You really should have learned not to trust the English weather by now. Tom doesn't seem to be struggling with the weather as he turns around to face you, but that makes sense. He's got a nice, pretty thick denim jacket on, and here you are, bare arms exposed to the elements.

"You ready to go?" Tom asks, nodding in the general direction of your flat. When you give him a nod back, he grins and offers you his arm. "Lead the way, miss." You can't help but giggle, your cheeks warming as you close the distance between the two of you and accept his offer.

"What a gentleman," you tease him, trying to ignore how mushy holding his arm like this makes you feel. As you start walking, you gently nudge him with your shoulder, making him look at you curiously. "Thanks for walking me home, Tom."

He merely shrugs, a small smile on his lips. "You don't need to thank me. I'm just making sure you get home alright,"

You squeeze his bicep. "Well, it still means a lot,"

It's not that this is the first time he's walked you back to your place from the pub after a night out together, but, usually, it's been somewhat of a group effort. Tom and the other boys, his housemates who you're lucky enough to call your friends too, would normally walk you home together, but, tonight, Tuwaine, Harry and Harrison seemed like they were only just getting started by the time you were ready to leave. So Tom had very kindly suggested that he could walk you home himself, and the lads had whistled and cheered at that - like the idiots they are. You told them off and called them dickheads, but there was no denying that your mind had gone to a similar place for a second too. It was just wishful thinking, though.

Tom is your friend. Just your friend. And yes, perhaps he's a friend you've been hopelessly in love with for months now, yet he's still just a friend. And yes, he calls you 'darling' and flirts with you, and he calls you when he's abroad, just so he can hear your voice, but that's just how he's always been with you. That's just how he is, really. It doesn't have to mean anything.

You haven't got very far when the cold begins to really affect you, every small gust of wind feeling like a thousand tiny icicles stabbing your skin. Granted, basically being snuggled up to Tom helps, his body quite warm, but it's not enough. So you can't help it when a violent shiver runs through you, making you hiss. Tom immediately stops dead in his tracks, unlinking your arms, and you're just about to ask him what he's doing when he gives you the answer without saying a word. He slips off his jacket and holds it out in front of you, and when you realize what he's implying, you have to protest.

"Oh, no, no," you say, shaking your head adamantly. "You'll get cold!"

"Well, you're already cold!" he argues and chuckles at the way you scoff at that. "And besides, I'd rather be cold than be an arsehole."

You know there's no point in trying to deny him. You know Tom, and you know he won't budge. So, with a sigh, you turn around and let him drape his jacket over your shoulders. A warmth spreads in your body, and you know it's not just from the extra layer. The jacket even smells like him - that sweet mixture of his cologne and the shower gel he uses.

He smirks as you face him again, giving you a once-over. "You always look great in my clothes," That's all he says before offering you his arm again, and, absolutely fucking dumbfounded, you just take it. God, you complain to yourself, why must he say shit like that? Can't he see what it does to me?

Tom doesn't seem to notice, however, happily chatting away about something that happened on one of his walks with Tessa. You do notice how he seems to pull you even closer to him, though. It's just because he's cold. That's what you tell yourself. But then he pulls you so close that you're completely pressed against his side, and it just feels… different.

You look around, acutely aware that anyone could see you like this, but the streets seem fairly empty, save for a few late-night joggers and dog walkers. So you let yourself relax into Tom, enjoying how it feels to be with him like this. You can't keep yourself from imagining how it would feel to be like this forever.

It's not something you get to fantasize about for a long time, though. Because then you turn the corner onto your street, and you know your time with him tonight is running out. You hate that you'll have to let him go, your two bodies having basically melted together at this point. And when you reach your house, you almost whine as Tom disentangles the two of you. But, even then, he doesn't really let go of you, taking your hand in his. You feel the heat creeping into your cheeks when he steps a little closer to you, and you gulp as he squeezes your hand.

"I've missed you, darling," Tom tells you, exhaling shakily. "More than I think you know."

"I've missed you too, Tom," you reply, trying not to think too much about what he just said, but his words are already haunting you. "Probably more than you've missed me."

You don't know why you say that. The words just fall out of your mouth, your filter seemingly gone. His brows draw together in confusion as he takes in your answer, and then he shakes his head gently. When he releases your hand, you feel like you've really fucked up.

He tilts his head slightly. "What makes you say that?"

You shrug, willing away the tears forming in your eyes. "I don't know,"

"It's okay,"

"I'm sorry,"

"Don't be," Tom assures you, smiling softly. "But you're wrong," His hand comes up to cup your cheek, and when his eyes flicker down to your lips, it's like it really dawns on you what he's trying to say. "Because I've missed you so... so…" He leans in a little until his breath is intermingling with your own, and you're trembling in anticipation, your eyes half-lidded. "Much." As soon as Tom finishes talking, he closes the distance, and then his mouth is on yours.

You're not surprised, but you are a bit stunned - everything you've dreamed about seemingly coming true. And for just a second, you find yourself worrying that this is just a dream; that none of this is real. But it is. His scent filling your nose is real. The touch of his hand on your face is real. His kiss is real.

And then you throw yourself into it, your hands settling on his chest and your fingers grabbing the fabric of his shirt quite desperately. Tom sighs, contented, his one arm wrapping around you as he presses his lips to yours again, far less hesitant this time. There's no stopping the soft gasp that leaves you then.

It feels like your bodies can't possibly get any closer, yet you still find new ways to melt into one another. Your tongues begin to explore each other, and your hands start to do the same to each other's bodies. You can scarcely breathe, but you can't bear the thought of parting with his kiss. And if worse comes to worst, death by kissing seems like a pretty good way to go.

You arch into Tom when his hands travel down your back, and the movement knocks off his jacket that had been draped over your shoulders. You barely sense it, but there's an audible thud as it lands on the pavement behind you. That, you can't help but notice.

He chases your lips as you pull away, but he doesn't protest against the separation. You're both breathing as though you've just run a fucking marathon, and you can't even get out a few simple words to tell him what happened. You just loosely gesture to the jacket on the ground, a sight that makes Tom giggle.

He's the one who picks it up, and you're kind of expecting him to put it on again. He probably has to get back to the lads at the pub, you lament to yourself. But Tom doesn't move. He just stands there and looks at you, eyes dark as he takes you in. He's kissed you into a complete mess, and you're sure you must look like one too.

"I should get back to the pub," he says, but Tom still doesn't move. The grin on his face is more than enough proof to you that he doesn't want to go anywhere. "Unless… unless you want me to stay?" You know what he's really asking. And you do want that, of course, but you still pretend like you actually have to think about it for a few minutes, biting your lip as in thought. You give him a nod.

"I do. But on one condition," you bargain, smirking mischievously, and his eyes light up. "You have to kiss me like that again." And that's an offer he can't refuse.

—————

taglist: @spideycents @linanilssonfurberg @to-the-road

(hit me up if you wanna be on the taglist!)

[corysmiles]

Could you believe I actually am back with some Runnaway Experiment WRITING??? :D

This takes place very early on in the story, and gives some more insight into Tommy's life before they escaped (in the comics). Enjoy :D

-------

The experiment was growing years after years, to everyone’s delight. It seemed the first laboratorial human had a decent enough lifespan so that it could be studied in the long run. And so, 14 years, it has been since T0M saw the light of day, and it acted in a similar fashion a 14 year old human would. .

Of course, the many researchers failed to take in consideration an alteration of the most cumbersome. T0M looked human, could understand the english language, followed orders and didn’t complain, asked some questions but the specimen…. was big.

Too big to fit in a human bed.

Too big to fit comfortably in a room.

It went in spurts, which was terrifying the first time. It kept on growing and growing, as scientists hoped it wouldn't take long for it to stop, otherwise, it might lead to a lot of problems. But for the past 2 years, no noticeable change really occurred, which was a relief when the thing was already 25 ft tall. It never seemed to be challenging personality wise, which was a relief, but they still needed to keep him in line.

Hopefully, the Doctor Soot, as well as Doctor Puff took part in daily check ups and made sure he didn’t rebel.

So, every 2 day, they took turns to visit T0M in the room accustomed to its needs.

And both’s reports were excellent! T0M learned more while being as obedient and compliant as ever. Phil couldn’t be more happy with those results.

However, as time went on…. Wilbur failed to mention another kind of teaching he had going on with the subject for the past months.

“And this is called ‘Sadness’.” He held an A3 size paper with a moody smiley drawn on it, the word being written below. “It’s that feeling when our sessions are over and I have to go and you say ‘oh noooo’ in that voice.”

T0M was sitting on his knees in front of him, paying the utmost attention to what Wilbur was showing and saying.

“I hate that one.” He pouted.

“I know,” Wilbur chuckled. “No one likes to feel sad. But it’s a part of life.”

A single hum. Wilbur’s smile turned more sympathetic.

“Do you remember the other ones?” He stood up from his place and put the sheet in one of the dark grey metallic drawers.

T0M nodded, excitedly. He took his hand and poked his fingers as he counted. “ there’s “Happiness”, it’s the good one. And “Disgust”, it’s when I have to eat the weird green stuff.”

“Brocoli”

“That. And then there’s excitement, it’s when I smile real big because you come early.”

Wilbur clapped “Wonderful!” T0M’s eyes were shining stars at every approval from Doctor Soot. Even though T0M’s enjoyment was very appreciated and contagious, but it could be a bit… much, to handle at times.

“Since you understand the basics, I think it’s time for us to start a whole new lesson.” He clapped.

T0M gasped and cheered from the top of his lungs “YEAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!”, throwing his arms in the air and effectively making the room shake from the sheer volume of his voice. When he looked back at the scientist, his eyebrows were pinched and the brunette was covering his ears and curled up, almost in pain.

“...Doctor?” He brought his head close to the man who, after making eye contact, scrambled back until he hit the same drawer he put the papers in earlier. T0M looked at him confused, face still too big in Wilbur’s peripheral.

“I… Tom, I appreciate your enthusiasm when we do our lessons, but if you could prevent yourself from screaming, it would be nice.” He tried in the most gentle voice he could muster without it shaking.

“What’s screaming?” T0M asked, crouched so his face was almost on the ground at eye level with him. He brought a hand closer to the doctor who was still breathing heavily. When his head shot to look at the hand, his body on alert, he froze before saying.

“... Is it a moment when I can’t touch you?”

Wilbur’s eyes were locked on the now frozen hand for a good second before returning to T0M, nodding. “Uh, yeah.”

“... Okay.”

The hand retracted in the following seconds, and soon, he was back in his initial position.

The doctor thanked before regaining his composure. He looked back at T0M, and his expression held remorse. A guilt twisted Wilbur's guts at the view. Thing is, as T0M grew up, people quickly realised he was the equivalent of clingy. He would constantly grab people into hugs and had a hard time keeping his voice down which resulted in a large noise blocker investment. And so they had a rule. T0M couldn’t make any sort of physical contact with anyone without being given explicit permission first. Obviously, most workers considered T0M as a test subject and therefore, wouldn’t give him that pleasure.

Wilbur, though, was not in the same vein. Once he realised how empathic and emotional and human T0M was, he started teaching him things a human teen should need, and started giving him a sort of affection a human teen should have. Which included some sort of physical affection.

When T0M was sad, he would sit next to him or pat his back. It quickly evolved as Wilbur accepted being held by the boy and brought to eye level as long as he was careful when doing so, and ever later, they would hug and wilbur would try to brush his hair at times.

Still, that didn’t make him immune to any of T0M’s carelessness which’s consequences were amplified ten fold due to his scale.

“Did I do something wrong?” he asked pitifully.

“I- no, it’s not your fault. It can just be a bit overwhelming is all.” Wilbur explained.

“... what does that mean?”

“It means… when something is ‘too much’. Like when you want to bring Techno very close, but he keeps reminding you about the rule.”

“Oh.” T0M let his head fall. “... I don’t like that.” Wilbur scratched his head. “I want to be so close and show that I’m very happy and it’s all inside and I can’t let it out.”

“Well, here, it’s a bit more of the opposite. When outside, there is a lot and you’re incapable of letting it in.”

“... I’m sorry Wilbur” he mumbled.

“It’s okay, I’m not angry.” reassured the brunette. “I just have sensitive ears.”

“...Everyone has sensitive ears.”

“Well, when you’re a small guy like me, you’re sensitive on pretty much all fronts.”

“... It’s not fair.”

“What’s that?” Wilbur perked.

“When I stop getting big and strong, I want to hug you with all of my will. Like you do with me. It feels nice. I want you to feel nice just like that. I want you to be overwhelmed with happiness. I want to hug you so, so bad but I can't and it's shit. I don't want to be strong, I hurt you if I’m strong. I want to hug you."

Tommy vented, more to himself, and when he looked at Wilbur, his eyes shined, not with joy.

"Oh Tommy…."

It ached. It ached Wilbur to his core that something as simple as a hug was something he craved and still couldn't get. Because he knew. He knew all of the things T0M was missing out on. All the life he could have lived if he was granted freedom. How much he could live and appreciate. It kept him awake at night.

But he was here. Trapped. In a room barely tall enough to contain him, treated like a circus monster. And the worst thing was, T0M wasn't aware of it. Of all the life he wasn't living. How his life was no life and how he thinks this absence of everything is what life should be.

Plato would probably laugh in his grave.

"I promise you. One day, you will be able to do that. I promise you that I'll find a way for you to hug me just like you are a small man too. I promise you that I'll make you discover all of those joys of life, Tom. I Promise you. I will help you. And I'm sorry for not being able to provide it sooner. And I'll apologize for all the years it took for me to get it."

They stared at each other, and Tommy nodded, throat tight and eyes wet.

"And a promise makes sure that it's gonna happen." T0M croaked.

"Exactly, tom." Wilbur smiled. "You are going to live many more things."

The bell rang, and both faces fell a bit.

"I'll see you in 4 days, Tom. We're gonna have a little recap over the emotions you learned and then I'll teach you about relationships."

"Oohh, that sounds nice! What is it?"

As Wilbur packed his little bag, he looked at T0M and simply replied "it's all around you. But I'm not gonna spoil the next session. On that note, I wish you a nice week, Tom."

"Have a nice week, Wilbur! " T0M waved with a smile. "It's nice talking to you."

"It is my absolute pleasure, Tom."

And thus, they parted. As Wilbur walked down the immense corridor (just tall enough Tom could run through them.) He wore a satisfied smile. His small steps resonated, the only sound in the room, yet peaceful enough for his ears to listen to them as carefully as silence. Halfway through, the sound was doubled.

"Helloooo."

"Oh, hey techno! How are you?"

"Doing fine. You seem very happy."

"I am. I made some good progress with T-he subject. I feel like he's learning well. The next tests should have fabulous results."

"Ahh, wonderful. Let's make sure it doesn't learn too much though." He joked.

And at that, Wilbur chuckled, his hand on the man's shoulder. "Oh don't you worry about that, my friend. I can assure you that'll never happen"

"Amazing" techno replied, deadpan. Both nodded their conversation away and walked the rest of their ways.

As he got further away, the doctor's smile turned to an amused grin. His steps resonated, so much smaller than what could be, in a corridor in which the boy just next door should walk through.

"Don't you worry about a single thing."

MEL YES I ADORE THIS AU SO MUCH ITS SO GOOD!!!!!!!!

Poor Tommy but at least Wilbur is helping him :”]

[voxmortuus]

Herding The Calf

PAIRING: Hannibal Lecter x F!Reader

UNIVERSE: Hannibal (NBC)

WORDS: 1.1k

WARNING: Sorry if this is a little fast-paced and choppy. I feel like my writing is shit today!

SUMMARY/PROMPT: From a lovely Anon: may I ask for a hannibalxreader? id like Hannibal to try to kidnap reader after stalking them for months (as he is interested in the reader and wants to get closer to them, but the only way he thinks he can make the reader care for him is to make them rely on him for all support, therefore he holds them hostage) but the reader is a good fighter and ends up hurting him pretty good, though he eventually knocks them out and the reader is held hostage in his basement and isn't necessarily afraid, just more aggravated because they're bored and want to do something and every time he visits them they ask for stuff to ease their boredom and what have you I want you to take artistic liberty over this as it is pretty much a summary prompt, just have fun if you write this lol have a nice day!

TW: Language | Mentions of Violence | Hostage | Kidnapping | Stockholm Syndrome

IMAGE CREDIT: Google

My Masterlist | Taglist | REQUESTS ARE ALWAYS OPEN

A mess of monkeys was pounding on a steel door with ball-peen hammers. Neon lights flashed on and off fast enough to send any epileptic into a seizure. Looking around, you let out a slight moan. The last thing you remember was getting ready to leave Hannibal's house before your face met the floor. Rubbing your head, you look around.

"You have got to be fuckin' kidding me?" You mutter. Taking in your surroundings, you see a toilet with a privacy wall, a bed that of which you woke up on, a sink, and a stand-up shower... and that's it. "He just couldn't take the hint." You shake your head. You try screaming, but nothing was coming of it. Chances are, this basement was soundproof. You try to walk around but, there is no luck whatsoever; here is a glass wall separating you from the rest of the basement. "GOD DAMN IT! HANNIBAL! WHAT THE FUCK?!" you yell. Frustrated.

He makes his way downstairs and takes a seat in front of your... cell. He sits down, looking at you, wiping his lip from the blood you had caused, clocking him a good one in the jaw. "You're a good fighter, Y/N, you got me good, may have even fractured a few ribs... but, you lost, I'm afraid. I wish you would have just listened, given it a chance." He stated.

"Well, Hannibal, you screwed the pooch on that one now, didn't ya? Couldn't you just take the hint? I wasn't interested. You stalked me! For MONTHS! Yet you always managed to have a god damn alibi when I tried to get the police involved. You need help Hannibal." You told him. Looking over his face, rather proud of yourself. Though you thought a moment, you wanted your money back on those damn self-defense classes.

Hannibal wanted you to need him, to rely on him. This was the only other option. When you left his care, he was insistent that you needed to stay, but you felt like you didn't need him anymore, you were feeling better, you felt like you had accomplished in your mental strength. That, and he was getting far too involved; hence you started putting more distance.

Looking at him, you rubbed your face shaking your head. "Hannibal, just let me go. I won't get the police involved- just- let me go. Please."

He stands up and looks at you. "I will bring you dinner and something to drink." He walks away.

"DAMN IT!" You bang on the glass, angry, and rightfully so. You begin to pace. There's nothing to do, nothing to read, he took your phone. You sigh; sitting on the bed, you put your head in your hands and close your eyes, trying to figure out ways to get out of this.

Day in and day out, you pace, growing bored, growing more frustrated, growing more aggravated and agitated. Looking at the wall, your back facing the glass wall, you sigh. Hannibal comes downstairs and takes a seat in front of the window wall.

"Hello, Y/N. How are you feeling?"

"Annoyed, bored, agitated, fuckin Christ Hannibal, a book, art supplies, something. I can't just sit here, pace and sleep. I need substance in my life, and you're not providing that." You state, facing away from him.

"I can give you books. What else?"

"To be let go."

"I will bring you some books. We will discuss some art supplies later."

You've gone through all six books he had brought down to you, Gone With the Wind, Pride and the Prejudice, The Great Gatsby, To Kill A Mocking Bird, Little Women, and Wuthering Heights. Sighing you had lost track of time, your sleep schedule was likely off, and your eating habits were off, you were losing weight, at least you showered, and he had given you a razor, knowing that you wouldn't harm yourself, so at least you could keep up on your shaving. He gave you clean clothes every day. To some, this wasn't so bad, but to you, it was starting to wear on you.

One night Hannibal had decided to sit in the dark you had no idea he was there. You had gone to sleep. Tossing and turning, cold sweats, you start dreaming.

You're stuck in a cage, hanging above a crowd of people, but there's something wrong with these people; they're sick, ill, bleeding from their eyes, noses, and ears. They're trying to get to you, trying to claw at you, not eat you, but they want to kill you. You see Hannibal in the distance, and you start screaming for him. Your voice goes horse. You begin to panic a little more; you're thrashing about in bed. You shoot up and gasp for breath. "HANNIBAL!" you scream.

Standing up, he walks over to the wall looking at you. "Are you okay Y/N?"

"I had the worst dream. People were trying to claw at me, trying to kill me. They were bleeding from their eyes, noses, and ears... I was in a cage, hanging above them, they started to climb the cage, and you were in the distance. I tried calling for you, but I woke up. It was horrifying." You wrap your arms around your knees and look up at him. "Hannibal, please, let me go. Please." You start to cry.

Tilting his head, he looks at you and shakes his head. "I'm afraid I cannot do that." He turns and leaves.

After a few days, he has brought you some high-quality art supplies, canvas, paints, brushes. You had gotten back in touch with your artistic side, and it was honestly a nice feeling. He would come down and watch you, observe you, and you had grown to like his company. Each day you two would talk a little longer, get to know each other a little better. You two would even have art time together and eat dinners together. He kept you in this glass box, and as time went on, you had grown accustomed to it. He had even given you a cat to keep you company. Things were changing in you.

Over time, you had liked the idea of being with him; it was this feeling of calm over you when you saw him. It was like everything was going to be okay. Fleeing wasn't a thought, not so much anymore- at least. He sits there and looks at you. "Good afternoon, Y/N. How are you feeling?"

"Hannibal, I would like to see the outside. Would you accompany me?"

He smiles and looks over your face. Tilting his head, he looks deep into your eyes and unlocks the door, takes your hand, and brings you out back. The sun hits your face you smile. Looking up at him, you smile again. "What a lovely day." you smile. And your wheels start turning surveying the area, but there was this tiny bit that stopped you; if you ran, and he caught you, your next capture, you could be the next meal.

[mimisempai]

The beat of your heart soothes me to sleep

Summary

5 times where Loki falls asleep in Mobius' presence and once where Loki helps Mobius to fall asleep.

Answer to an anon prompt request on tumblr

"Loki falling asleep with Mobius around"

As always when it goes on this trope, I got carried away.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/32649739

2597 words - Rating G

1.

As Mobius emerged from the shelves of the archives, deserted at this hour of the evening, his gaze fell on the tables, and one table in particular.

The table that reminded him of the first days of his meeting with Loki, and the very first time he had realized how much Loki trusted him.

They were both still in the taming phase at this point in their relationship, each gauging the other's reactions.

They were doing intensive research. Mobius, immersed in the files, had not noticed that Loki had become silent while a few minutes earlier he was commenting on every sentence of what he was looking for. He yawned and at that moment noticed something unimaginable, Loki had fallen asleep.

Moreover, it was not a light nap. From the sound of his steady breathing, it was a deep sleep.

For someone as suspicious as Loki, the fact that he slept in this way in the presence of someone was a miracle in Mobius' eyes.

To sleep in front of someone you barely know. How much trust does that take?

At that moment Mobius knew that something had changed, at least for him.

He didn't know at the time what the future would hold, but before waking him up, Mobius told himself that he would do everything in his power to preserve the trust that Loki seemed to have in him.

Whatever it takes.

He recalled the memory fondly as he stroked the table with one hand in passing, right where Loki had fallen asleep that day.

As he looked up to continue on his way, he was surprised to see Loki waiting for him on the doorstep. He wondered, blushing slightly, if Loki had seen his gesture and if he too remembered.

Mobius didn't have to wonder for long, Loki leaned over, kissed him on the cheek and simply said in his ear, "I remember, too." Then Loki straightened up, took Mobius' hand and added, "Come on love, let's go home."

2.

"Okay, tell me what are the top 3 laws to avoid breaking?"

Loki sitting at his desk, let out a deep sigh before protesting, "Mobiuus, I can't take it anymore, you've been making me repeat the laws and workings of the TVA for two hours."

Mobius replied firmly, "Even if you think you don't need them, it's important that you know them, you're going to be responsible for training recruits in the field and while I have no doubt about your teaching skills, you'll be a role model and as such you-"

"Do not disrupt the flow of time," Loki began to enumerate in a sullen voice.

Mobius smiled fondly and nodded approvingly as Loki continued, "Avoid time travel and do not contact people in the past to save them from their future."

Loki yawned ostensibly to show his annoyance.

"Perfect!" replied Mobius who walked away from the desk as he spoke, "Now we will review some of the punishable crimes by the TVA, such as time theft, time misconduct, or time jumps that can destabilize the continuity of space-time. What can you tell me about that last one, Loki?"

Silence answered him.

"Loki, stop being a child and answer," said Mobius in a slightly irritated tone.

Still no reaction. Mobius turned around and couldn't help but smile at the sight in front of his eyes.

Loki had fallen asleep, his head on his arms crossed on the desk.

Mobius approached and looked with tenderness at the black locks that had slid down his lover's face, the little puffs of air that came out of his mouth and made the sheets of paper in front of him tremble, but above all the look of complete surrender.

Mobius shook his head and looked around before finding what he was looking for. He went to grab a blanket folded on the arm of a chair in the corner of the room. He unfolded it and laid it gently on Loki's shoulders. He leaned over, placed a kiss on Loki's head and whispered in his ear, "I'll come back later..."

Loki answered with a groan under Mobius' amused look.

3.

"According to Hesiod, Eris is the daughter of Nyx and gives birth alone, like her mother, to many children, all evil. She is the relentless Discord, both companion and sister of the murderer Ares, who at first rises timidly, but soon touches the sky with her forehead and treads the earth with her feet. The most famous story of Eris tells that she started the Trojan War by provoking the Judgment of Paris. The goddesses Hera, Athena and Aphrodite had been invited, along with the rest of Olympus, to the forced nuptials of Peleus and Thetis, who would become the parents of Achilles, but Eris had been dismissed because of her tendencies to cause trouble.So she gives birth to the worst calamities and seems to announce the apocalypse."

Mobius paused in his reading as he felt Loki fidgeting, shaking his head in Mobius' lap. They were enjoying what was probably one of Mobius' favorite activities since they had been living together.Loki lying on the couch, his head in Mobius' lap while Mobius read aloud, one hand in Loki's hair or in Loki's hand on his chest.

Loki, surprised to learn that Greek and Roman mythologies had many similarities with Norse mythology, had asked Mobius to read him the story of the goddess Eris, Loki's Greek equivalent.

"Of course, there's nothing good about my Greek equivalent!" snapped Loki. "Whatever our origin, we can only do evil."

Mobius grabbed Loki's chin to turn his face upward and said in a scolding tone, "Loki, I thought you knew by now that this was not the case. That you didn't have to live up to this destiny. After all this time, you still don't believe it? You still don't believe me?"

Loki sighed and took hold of the hand that held his chin and intertwined his fingers with it, "Of course I believe you, it's just hearing that, brings back memories that taste bitter."

Mobius leaned over, pressed a kiss to Loki's mouth and resumed reading. "I think you'll like the next part... Eris is also the one Zeus sends to awaken the fighting spirit of the warlords so that they will throw themselves into battle.She is therefore also the goddess of emulation.  Eris is a portal that opens to individual energies. It generates the pioneers, to move the collective energies. She unconsciously forces us to take a direction, to take a path."

"Hm you're right," Loki interrupted him, "I really like that. "Go on."

Mobius chuckled and continued, "Eris forces action, reaction.  Eris causes chaos to prepare the necessary future mutation. Eris is a trigger, a revealer. She participates in the tragedy of life."

"Hmmm..."

"Loki?"

Mobius felt Loki's head get heavier on his lap and Loki's hand clutching his own slowly loosened its grip. He leaned forward a little to see that Loki had fallen asleep. This was no longer a rare occurrence, but it never ceased to amaze Mobius as to its deeper meaning. He pulled the plaid that was at the end of the couch over Loki's legs, taking care not to wake him up, then resumed his reading.

"Eris turns our lives upside down, plunging us into chaos. If she spreads mischief through all, she also throws the trouble in oneself. It is to open a new way. A new life where we will never be the same again."

These last sentences made Mobius smile, because this is exactly what Loki had done in his life. He had opened a new life for Mobius that had changed him forever, for the better.

He closed the book carefully and put it on the armrest. Carding his fingers gently in Loki's hair, who purred in response, he let himself be lulled by the sweetness of the moment and fell asleep in turn.

4.

"I am exhausted, ex-haus-ted!" exclaimed Loki as he entered their apartment.

Mobius, busy preparing the meal, watched him enter the kitchen, smiling at his lover's antics as Loki continued to talk while undressing.

8 hours training new recruits in combat techniques combined with magic!  8 hours! Mobius you are the boss, you could do something!"

He had arrived in front of Mobius, planted a kiss on his lips before continuing to unbutton his shirt without giving him a chance to respond. "I'm going to shower and come eat, love."

Mobius followed him with his eyes and shook his head before returning to the dinner preparation.

Later, sitting at the table, they ate dinner and talked about their day. Loki was much calmer and more relaxed after showering.

Although the training had indeed exhausted him, Loki was nonetheless enthusiastic about his students' progress. But towards the end of the meal, as Mobius told an anecdote about one of his day's events, he saw that he was losing Loki's attention. His head was nodding as he visibly struggled against sleep.

"Loki, sweetheart, let me put the dishes away and you go to bed, I can see you're really exhausted," Mobius said in a gentle tone.

Loki didn't protest, got up and gave Mobius a gentle hug before saying, "Sometimes I wonder what I did to deserve someone as caring as you."

To which Mobius replied, "Nothing, you're just you and I'm just me."

Loki smiled and gave him one last kiss before walking off to their room like a robot.

Mobius went to put the dishes away, turned off the lights and headed for their room. When he entered he was surprised to see Loki sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Loki?"

Receiving no answer, he walked over to find that Loki had fallen asleep like that. He must have really been exhausted.

"Loki, sweetheart, you should go to bed."

Loki groaned in response. Mobius laughed silently. He opened the sheets, gently helped Loki to lie down, carefully removed his sweatpants and T-shirt, Loki malleable as a disarticulated doll in his arms. The degree of trust and acceptance that Loki had in his arms was something new for Mobius every time. Something absolutely extraordinary.

Mobius laid down beside him, covered them both before taking Loki in his arms and after a tender kiss on his forehead, let himself be carried away by sleep.

5.

Loki knocked gently on Mobius' office door before poking his head through the doorway.

"Ready to go home?"

Mobius looked up from his work sheepishly and replied, "Loki, I'm sorry, but I'm not going to be able to leave right away, I have some urgent reports due tomorrow, so I'll be staying late. It's not even worth waiting for me."

Loki didn't hold it against him, he walked over to him, took his face in his hands, kissed him gently before pretending to wipe the creases on Mobius' forehead with his fingers. "Don't worry like that, love, take as much time as you need. I'll leave you a piece of dinner in the fridge for when you get home."

"Thank you for being so understanding."

"You're welcome." replied Loki as he walked away.

Mobius followed him with a grateful smile on his lips before getting back to work.

Three hours later he walked through the door of their apartment, the living room was in darkness except for a small lamp lit near the armchair where Loki was sitting.

He gasped as he approached, Loki was sleeping, that was something he was used to, but what surprised him was that Loki was wearing one of his shirts. Mobius swallowed when he saw that he wasn't wearing any pants, just the shirt and his underwear, bare feet curled under him on the chair. He looked so vulnerable like that, that Mobius' throat tightened. Mobius crouched down in front of the chair and lightly placed his hand on Loki's bare knee so as not to startle him as he called softly, "Loki... Sweetheart... our bed is much more comfortable to sleep in."

Loki's eyes flickered before slowly opening, a smile lighting up his face when he saw Mobius.

"Mobius, you're finally home."

Mobius nodded, stood up and held out his hand to Loki, "Come on, the bed is more comfortable."

He accompanied him to their room, watched him go to bed before going to get ready for the night, also feeling exhausted.

A few moments later, he joined Loki in their bed. He lay on his back and Loki came closer, resting his head on his chest and wrapping his arm around his stomach.

"Loki..." Mobius had a question burning in his mind.

"Hm..."

"Why are you wearing my shirt?"

Loki cleared his throat, obviously embarrassed, "I tried to fall asleep in our bed, but without you I couldn't, so I thought if I wore something of yours, maybe I could, but no, the bed is too big without you, so instead I waited for you in the living room, and finally fell asleep in the chair."

Mobius tightened his arm around Loki's shoulders and said in a voice hoarse with emotion, "you can go to sleep now, I'm here, sweetheart."

Loki snuggled up to him in approval and it wasn't long before Mobius felt the weighted head and steady breath against him, which in turn lulled Mobius into a deep sleep.

+1.

Mobius sat at the kitchen counter, clutching a cup of tea. He couldn't stop shivering.

It was the middle of the night,  it was half past two in the morning. He had been awakened by a nightmare and could not get back to sleep. He didn't want to wake Loki, so he came to the kitchen to try to calm down with a cup of tea.

The nightmares of Mobius were often the same, reminiscences of the lives that he had erased in the name of the previous TVA. It was often the conversation with Sylvie that came back to haunt him.

"All that time, I really believed we were the good guys."

"Annihilating entire realities, orphaning little girls, classic hero stuff."

Of course Mobius had never thought of himself as a hero, but he thought he was doing good and now realized how blind he had been.

And it was hard because there was no way to make amends, no way to redeem himself, because most of the people he had taken had ended up in the void and had not survived Alioth. At night Mobius could not think beyond the throbbing pain of guilt.

Suddenly, hands rested gently on his shoulders.

"Mobius? Are you okay?"

Then without waiting for an answer the hands slid forward and Mobius found himself with Loki's chest pressed against his back and Loki's chin resting on his head.

"I had another nightmare," he whispered, hoarse and vulnerable. Loki hummed, moved back and gently rubbed the back of Mobius' neck..

"Come back to bed with me," Loki's voice was warm and sleepy. Loving. Soothing. He took the cup from Mobius, discarding the now cold tea and rinsing the cup, before taking Mobius' hands and dragging him towards their room. Loki made him lie down before tightening his arms and legs around Mobius who in turn tightened his arms around Loki.

"Thank you," he whispered into Loki's soft hair.

Loki simply tightened his arms around him, and said softly, "Sleep my love, I am here, this time I am the one protecting you."

Mobius fell asleep, a dreamless sleep, only aware of Loki's presence shielding him from the world and from himself.

Beloved.

________

Whole series of one shot here : X

As always, bear with me as it is not beta'd I hope you enjoyed it 🥰

[nothing-but-dreamy]

STUBBORN

Pairing: ADAM JENSEN x GENDER NEUTRAL!READER

Words: 1.733

Warnings: angst; mention of blood; fluff

Synopsis: Adam Jensen got shot and asks you for help but sometimes he is too stubborn because of the wrong reasons.

"Adam, please...", you said softly, reaching out for the stubborn man.

"No!", Adam hissed.

"Just.. just let me see your wounds.", you tried again.

"I said no.", Adam called out and looked at you with a stern expression.

"Well, okay, then, I will leave you alone, you idiot. But next time, if you need help, think twice if you really want to call me. Maybe I won’t be there anymore.", you said angry, asking yourself why he even called you when he acted like this then. You stormed to the front door, grabbing your things, keys, smartphone and jacket while you were raging with anger about this unrelenting man.

Adam watched you walking away. He knew you for more than six months. The two of you had met in the dog park where Adam was with Kubrick before the dog got back to Megan in Washington. Kubrick had toyed around with his old but beloved ball until he kicked the ball with one paw too far away. The dog ran after it and Adam after Kubrick but it was already too late. As Adam reached the dog, the ball had landed in the purse of someone, of you, who were sitting on a bench with a book. You looked bemused at the dog who was burrowing through your bag with his big head to find his ball.

And since then, Adam and you had met for coffee, you two had lunch together and you also could convince Adam to watch a movie in the cinema with you. He was a depressed mess after everything that had happened. Meg and the changes on his body… but you were able to drag him out from his rabbit hole and to let him feel more human again.

Your light friendship, your innocence and golden heart got through his tough demeanor. So, as he got shot earlier that day, the first thought that had struck his mind was you. Several times before, he had caught himself thinking about you. Maybe he already saw you as more than just a friend. But as you were there, in his apartment and as he saw how you looked at him with those big, innocent eyes, worries and fear written all over your face because of his wounds and his whole appearance with all the blood and dirt, he knew that he didn’t want to have you being a part in such a life. With him, you would always be worried…

The moment you reached the door, Adam snapped back to reality and grunted because of pain as he stepped forward slowly. He knew he had to make a fast decision or you would be gone forever because you stuck to your words, "Wait.", he whispered, pleadingly. For a second he feared it was too low but he could see how your hand stopped in the air over the doorknob, staying where you were to wait.

"I need your help.", Adam whispered a bit louder.

Hearing his weak voice caused you to turn around to meet his gaze, finally. You could tell that Adam was in pain. His breath was strained, his chest was moving unevenly and you were sure to see some beads of sweat on his forehead. Without another thought, you hurried back to him and that right on time. As you reached Adam he collapsed into your arms. You struggled with his weight but you were able to place him on his bed properly, "Hey, Adam, can you hear me? Adam?", you asked, kneeling in front of him with a concerned expression. With your hands on his face, you forced him to look at you.

Weakly, he opened his eyes and managed to meet your concerned glance with a soft smile, "I am fine.", he whispered low.

"Liar.", you said smiling. You were relieved to see that he was still awake, "What was the matter in the first place anyway to send me away after you had called me for help?", you asked to keep him awake.

Adam chuckled low and shook his head, "I... I realized that I don't want you to see me like this.", he admitted.

"Like what? Hurt?", you asked confused.

"Weak.", he whispered.

You looked surprised at him but you just shook your head about his ego and kept your mouth shut. The last thing that came to your mind when you were thinking about Adam Jensen was weakness. From the beginning, you were impressed by his presence. This tall, dark haired and mysterious man was for you the epitome of authority and strength. As he had called you for help, you were surprised that he trusted you this much. Mostly, as you saw that the help was because of two bullet wounds in his right shoulder, "Okay, come on, you have to help me a bit with this coat.", you commanded and Adam moved willingly.

He let you undress him piece by piece until there was just the black, well-fitting t-shirt left. Hesitantly, you grabbed some scissors to cut the fabric open because with the gunshots, Adam couldn’t undress it properly. You were happy that Adam couldn't see you or otherwise he would have seen your reddening cheeks.

Adam winced as you brushed across the wounds accidentally and you flinched quickly before you continued. As his upper body was naked, you let your eyes roam over his several augmentations. Most prominent were the shoulders and arms. He had told you about them, maybe to scare you or to see your rejection but it didn’t work this way. You were curious and now, where you had the sight in front of you, you were even more impressed. You were one of the few people who had no problems with augmentations and the people who would use them. You also saw those people still as human beings with a soul and not as cyborgs like others did. The next ten minutes, you were busy cleaning and examining the wounds, "Alright, I have one good and one bad news."

"One bullet is still in there, right?", Adam asked, panting for breath.

"Y-yeah.", you admitted, knowing what this meant.

"Then get it out.", Adam said quietly and already snatched a bottle of Whiskey from a spot next to his bed. He looked at the bottle, that was one important thing he didn’t want you to know: his coping mechanisms. His weaknesses. But now was not the right time for such thoughts. He knew it would be painful. Therefore he took a big gulp of the golden liquid and swallowed it slowly.

You stared at him in shock, "I- I can't.”, you breathed, “Adam, this will hurt a lot. You need to go to a hospital. I am not a doctor. I am just a vet."

"Just do it. I trust you. I can handle the pain, don’t worry.", Adam said serious after the next huge sip of alcohol.

You tried again to deny it but Adam just waited and you knew that you had to move quickly to get the bullet out. It was still possible that the projectile could move around and cause even more damage.

**

Ten minutes later, Adam, you and the bed were a mess. You got the bullet between your bloody fingers and you were sure, just for a split second, Adam had been passed out. You cleaned everything and patched him up.

As you walked from the bathroom back into the bedroom, Adam sat there on the rim of the bed, looking at you with a soft smile. He was totally exhausted but he was also smiling, "Thank you.", he said low, still breathing with some problems.

"Always, Adam. You just have to ask. Forget what I have said earlier. I was just angry. I’m always there if you need me.", you promised him.

"I guess you are the only friend I have left.", Adam said low and watched you with a mixed expression.

You stared him straight in the eyes and for a short moment you were brave enough to say what was on your mind, "Just a-", you stopped yourself as the courage left you again, "Nevermind. You need to rest. I will come tomorrow to see after you."

You were about to leave but Adam stood up and stopped you with his hand softly on your shoulder, "What was it you wanted to say?"

"I…,” you paused, something in his eyes told you to continue as if he was just waiting for a sign from you, “I don't want to be just a friend for you, Adam.", you said while avoiding his eyes. You couldn’t look into them in fear to see denial. The pause he created left you feeling humiliated and so, you just wanted to leave.

But Adam held you back once again, "YN, I... my life's a mess. Look at me. I am a mess. You deserve someone better. Someone who is easier to handle than I am. You deserve a normal man.", this time, Adam needed a moment to look you in the eyes. He was afraid of what he could see. The worst thing would be if you would even agree with him in the end.

"I don't want any other man. In my eyes, you are perfect.", you whispered and looked straight into his eyes to underline the meaning of your words and your seriousness.

"You really think that about me?", Adam whispered insecurely but with a small smile. Hope was kindled in him.

"Yes. I always did.", you answered truthfully with a nod while Adam watched you with a stern, unreadable expression. You began to feel uncomfortable under his intense glance but before you could say anything, he brought you closer with one arm around your waist and tangled the fingers of his other hand carefully with your hair.

He paused and looked into your eyes but then, he just kissed you slowly and passionately without a second thought. All doubts were gone. He had made his decision. You melted against Adam and snaked your arms carefully around his middle to bring him closer. The kiss became even stronger until both of you were panting for air. While Adam rested his forehead against your, you were just standing there in the middle of his apartment, smiling softly at each other while thick droplets of rain were drumming against the windows.

[shiningamongdarkness]

Chapter 42.Look what I did

Shining among Darkness

By WingzemonX

Chapter 42. Look what I did

While everything outside was in absolute chaos, the real culprit of that horror watched her work from the hospital security room with particular pride and satisfaction. Lily Sullivan was still sitting in front of the console, her hands resting on it. From her position, she observed everyone who appeared and disappeared from the monitors. Although, in reality, she did not need them to see all her current victims. But they were a good guide, as a small map so as not to get lost, since the number of people she had to reach was more significant than any she had previously achieved.

Lily created horrible visions in the heads of all these crazy people, altering them and letting their fears consume them and act on them. She made them see all other people as hideous creatures, with rotten skin hanging from their faces, yellowish teeth popping out of their mouths, and reddened pus-filled eyes. Of course, the reaction of all was of aversion, terror, and above all of the violence; a lot of violence.

The show was a real treat for her. So much chaos, so much confusion, so much fear… She was delighted, even intoxicated, by it all. Her father always thought that fear was like food to her; that fed on her and made her stronger. She never quite believed that statement, but at the moment, she was tempted to consider it. The sensation that ran through her body was exquisite.

Suddenly, out of all the frightened and confused faces that appeared on the monitors, one caught her attention in a particular way; one that she managed to recognize immediately: the hateful Portland detective who interrogated her and dared to lock her in that room (with everything and guard at the door). She knew immediately that it was him, and it took her slightly by surprise. What was that guy doing there? Was he looking for her? It did not matter because without knowing it, he had just entered the cave of the worst wolf he had ever known.

Lily smirked.

"Well, look who we have here. My old detective friend. Just in time for fun..."

All the ideas that had crossed her mind to do with that man as soon as she had the opportunity came to her mind. And this one apparently was being presented on a silver platter. Indeed his square and simple mind could not understand what he was seeing, and he was naively wondering why everyone was acting so… "crazy." Of course, he still wasn't able to see anything they saw. He was just standing there with his gun in one hand and barely managing to hold it as he moved on those crutches. Surely he wanted to have a clear target to shoot at, as it was what he did best: aiming and then "bang!" If that's what he wanted, why not help him a bit with it? That would surely make him feel better.

"What are you afraid of, detective?" Lily whispered, focusing most of her attention on that single individual.

- - - -

Vazquez and Cole kept trying to calm things down in the hallways, but there seemed to be no favorable resolution. It was all a horrible pitched battle of everyone against everyone. Faces were scratched, heads smashed against walls, and even hands, arms, or necks were bitten in desperate defense. Vazquez, due to his condition, was the one who had it the most difficult. Still, his stubbornness was much more powerful than his physical limitation.

Suddenly, the Portland detective stopped abruptly without Cole noticing at first. He stared at the crowd of people in front of him in puzzlement as his appearance began to change, little by little, with each blink he gave. The faces of patients and nurses alike grew emaciated, leaving in their place only dangling skins attached to their skulls. The detective backed away, stunned. In a second, all those hideous faces turned towards him simultaneously, and one by one, they began to approach him.

"Stay where you are!" He yelled loudly at them, raising his weapon towards them. "Back off now!"

Vazquez backed away in fear, stomping on his crutches and falling to the ground. His injured ankle ached intensely, but he made no exclamation. All his senses were focused on those faces with hollow cheeks and eyes, ashen skins, and stained and missing teeth. Those faces, they were all alike; they were all the face of...

"Deja de llorar, Roberto," he heard one of those faces pronounced hoarsely in fluent Spanish.

"¡Deja de llorar como una puta!" One more of them added, with the same voice as before.

They kept getting closer, shuffling step by step. One by one spoke with the same voice, pulled from some cold and forgotten corner of Vazquez's memory.

"Miren a la niña de mami."

"¿Vas a ir a llorarle a mami?"

"No, no, no," the policeman muttered, totally petrified. However, his right arm was still raised, and his pistol pointed straight ahead. The following words also escaped him in Spanish: "Tú estás muerto… Hijo de tu puta madre, ¡estás muerto!"

"Soy un viejo que se caga encima, y aun así sigues temblando al verme, niñita."

"¿A quién crees que engañas con tu disfraz de policía?"

"Eres un pendejo, un inútil, y un malagradecido."

"Sólo sabes responder a putazos, igual que tu madre…"

The one who was closest to him raised his arm in the air. From his perspective, his hand looked immense, as he saw it when he was just a six years old little boy trembling in the corner of the room. The face accompanying that hand was not yet consumed by the alcohol and the coca.

"¡No me toques!, ¡no me toques bastardo!"

Vazquez gripped his gun, his finger on the trigger.

Another of those creatures lunged at him with great speed from the side, grabbing his arm and deflecting the weapon upward. The gun went off, and the bullet hit a ceiling lamp just above them, creating a small explosion and shower of sparks.

"Vazquez!" Cole shouted while he struggled on the ground with the Portland detective, trying to take his gun away from him. "Whatever you are seeing is not real! Give me your gun!"

Vazquez wasn't listening to it. He was still kicking and roasting, spitting screams in Spanish that Cole couldn't quite understand. The gun fired once more, now hitting a wall. The nurses who were not prey to hallucinations had no choice but to leave the place scared. The affected patients, some ran in terror down the corridor too, but others remained in place screaming in terror and hitting the walls and faces.

From the control room, Lily was laughing more than happily. All of this was much better than she expected.

Cole kept struggling with Vazquez, trying to disarm him before he hurt someone else. But the despair and fear invading him had given him more strength than expected to defend himself. This guy was an annoying stubborn, but he was a cop like him, wounded in the line of duty. He was also hallucinating because of a third party, or at least that seemed to Cole to be the safest thing to think. The last thing he wanted was to hurt him, but he didn't have much choice in the end.

Midway through their struggle, he dug his knee hard against Vazquez's abdomen, knocking the air out of her. Vazquez doubled over, exhaling a deep groan of pain. Cole immediately withdrew his gun and threw it away from him. Next, he punched him hard in the face that caused the Portland officer to fall sideways to the ground, stunned but still defiant. Cole stepped over him and gave him one more blow, and it seemed to affect him even more than the last.

Vazquez remained on the ground, semiconscious and complaining of the pain that was indeed invading his body. Cole stood up, waving his sore hands slightly from the blows. Before he could recover, he dragged Vazquez off his feet into one of the open rooms; the cop did not resist at all. He was able to put him inside the room and locked him up; for his protection and the others.

Cole took a deep breath with some relief. He took a few seconds to try to digest it all, settle down, and then think of his following action. Instinctively, he raised his gaze to a corner of the hall, where one of the security cameras was located; it stared at him like a single accusing eye, the red light above it blinking every so often. He had a hunch that the telepath who was causing all this might be looking at them right through that camera. And therefore, in theory, he was staring into their eyes right now, him or her.

"So boring," Lily muttered from the other side, staring at Cole's angry face on the monitor. Soon after, the detective began to walk down the hall in a hurry, but not before bending down to take Vazquez's gun from the floor. "You come for me? Don't make me laugh. I could make you shoot yourself with that gun whenever I want." Her attention was diverted at that moment to another of the monitors, where she could see Esther walking stealthily. And right on the board to one side, she saw another person also wandering, but with more modest steps, dare he even say fearful. "But I think we won't be around much longer to see it."

- - - -

Samara wandered lost for a while among the hospital corridors, not knowing exactly where she should go. She hadn't come across anyone to that point, nor had she seen firsthand the havoc Lily Sullivan was wreaking on the minds of those present. However, the loneliness that was breathed caused her some confusion and anguish.

What had happened? And whatever it was, was it happening because of her? And who exactly was doing it? She couldn't believe it was caused directly by the Other Samara; she didn't have that kind of influence unless she allowed her to somehow.

She kept roaming for a bit longer. She was getting ready to go to where she seemed to remember the reception and the main door of the hospital was. She had been locked there for too long, and the exit door was not exactly a place they used to or even want to take her to.

A few steps to her right caught her attention. She thought for a few moments that it would be some nurse trying to get her back to her room. She thought fleetingly about what she would do if that was the situation. Would she give them a "push" like the one she gave Dr. Scott? Did she wish to go out so badly to do that? Samara turned slowly in that direction. The person she saw was not a nurse. In fact, it was a girl, a little shorter than her, with a backpack on her back and who was looking at her with some anxiety in her eyes.

"Samara," the stranger said firmly. "You're Samara Morgan, right?"

She looked at her carefully without answering her immediately. She was unfamiliar, and she was not dressed to be a patient here. And besides… there was something strange about her. She perceived it just when she saw her, but the girl could not identify what it was exactly. Something in her did not agree, and that caused certain distrust to Samara.

"Who are you?" She murmured uneasily, backing away a little.

"Hey, don't be scared," the girl whispered slowly, throwing her hands towards her. Her face abruptly softened, and she gave a gentle smile, which would perhaps be adorable if it weren't for the fact that it seemed totally fake. "I don't have time for long explanations, okay? Let's leave it in that my name is Esther, and I came to get you out of here. And I'm going to do it by hook or by crook."

Still smiling, the stranger subtly reached her left hand toward her backpack while her right was still up, perhaps in an attempt to distract her.

"I really don't want to hurt you. I'm your friend..."

Samara narrowed her eyes a little, still suspicious.

"Are you who she said would come for me?"

The girl became excited in confusion and slowly made her hand recoil from her attempt to grab her backpack.

"I don't know what 'she' you mean. But yes, someone sent me for you. A very handsome boy; I think you'll be pleased to meet him." She commented that last with a very notorious gossipy tone. "What do you say? Are you coming with me?"

Samara stared at her in silence for a moment, and then she raised her gaze just a little above the stranger's head. And there it was, that dark figure standing in the middle of that perfect white corridor, highlighted by its haggard and opaque state. She looked back at her; among all the sea of ​​black hair that hid her face, Samara could notice it, and as well that creature was slowly nodding her head with a sign of affirmation.

The girl hesitated for a few moments, but then she nodded in the same way too. The girl with the backpack seemed surprised, perhaps by how (apparently) easy it had been to convince her.

"Perfect, quick." Esther held out her hand to the girl to take it. Samara did, and in less than a second later, they started running. Samara was almost flying because that girl turned out to be stronger and faster than she looked, or perhaps she was much thinner and lighter than she thought.

"What is happening?" The young from Moesko murmured slowly, watching the orange sirens of the alarm as they advanced. "You did this?"

"Me and another new friend," Esther replied. "You'll also like her. Beneath her unfriendly mask, it's kind of nice."

Samara didn't understand what she meant, but she didn't think about it too much. She didn't know precisely where she was taking her but trusted her to know.

As they walked, out of the corner of her eye, Samara noticed a figure moving down another adjacent hallway they were going. She turned slightly toward it, and as soon as she saw that, she stopped, apparently applying enough force so that Esther's grip was dislodged. Esther nearly fell flat forward from the sudden change.

A woman with long black hair, a white patient suit, and a gray sweater over it walked forward, looking around, disoriented. Both of her hands were firmly grasping in front of her, seemingly holding something.

Samara recognized her immediately, and her heart leaped with excitement.

"Mommy?" She exclaimed loudly enough to be heard in the echo from the hall. Anna Morgan stopped advancing and turned quickly toward her, her eyes wide in amazement and confusion. Yes, it was her. "Mommy! Mommy!"

Samara, without thinking twice, began to run quickly down the hall towards her before the stranger who had come to get her could do something to stop her. For the first time in weeks, Samara's face lit up even a little, drawing as close to a joyous smile as she could get. Even the way she ran towards her mother was in stark contrast to the sleepy, absent demeanor that almost always characterized her. Now she was running, practically jumping with happiness, like a normal girl happy to see her mother.

The adult woman, by her side, remained standing in her place, watching silently as the girl approached her, having both hands still firm in front of her.

"I'm happy that you're fine, mommy…" Samara whispered, only a few steps away from her. And it was at that moment that as she took one of those last steps, she caught a glimpse of that same dark and gaunt figure from a few moments ago, standing just off the side of the hall as she ran past her.

"Stop!" The Other Samara yelled at her loudly, her voice echoing only in her head. "Don't get any closer!"

Samara turned to look at her for only a fraction of a second, confused by such a warning. However, as she turned back to her mother, the cruel reality of those words struck her head-on.

Anna quickly pulled out the scalpel she held hidden in her hands and waved it in the air, making a long cut across Samara's cheek. The girl backed away and fell to her seat in fear, clutching her cheek that was beginning to bleed.

"You did this, right?" Anna asked sharply, holding the scalpel in front of her. "You caused this chaos. Wherever you go, everything you touch is corrupted and destroyed. You are the Devil, the very Devil walking this earth!"

Esther looked alarmed at such a scene. She approached hurriedly, and by mere reflex, raised her weapon, pointing it at the woman. But at that very moment, Samara stood in front of her, preventing her from shooting.

"No, mommy, please… I didn't do anything… Please, mommy… I love you…"

Samara took a fearful step towards her mother, extending her free hand towards her. At that moment, Anna waved the scalpel again, now making a deep cut into her palm. Samara doubled over in pain, clutching her hand and backing away, groaning.

"I'm not your fucking mommy! Spawn of the Devil! I wish I had never met you! You just made my life hell!"

Anna Morgan's voice echoed loudly in the hallway, and so did Esther's own head, who was watching everything paralyzed in place. She had already raised her pistol at her again, her finger on the trigger, ready to blow her head off without the slightest hesitation. But those words paralyzed her...

"I'm not your fucking mommy!"

"I'm not your fucking mommy!"

"I'm not your fucking mommy!"

That scream was repeated in her head over and over again, creating a pain that ran through her neck and back. Her hand shook, and she was unable to shoot. She was unable to kill that woman. She was unable to kill her mother... again.

The ceiling lights began to flicker suddenly, and heavy air completely covered the corridor. The ground at Samara's feet began to corrode and break, taking on a dirty ocher hue as if a strong acid were starting to consume it. Slowly the girl raised her face back to her mother. However, her eyes were wholly filled with fury, totally oblivious to the jubilant ones from just now, and they were pinned right on the woman in front of her.

Terrified, Anna took only two steps back before being completely paralyzed and lost in the deep darkness that consisted of Samara's eyes. Those eyes... they were the same as that occasion, the one in which all those horrible and unpleasant images flooded her head, preventing her from thinking about anything else. But now, it was a little different. There were no images slowly consuming her sanity. Actually... there was nothing. Anna didn't feel anything; she didn't think about anything. She just seemed to be floating in a deep, murky sea of ​​darkness...

Without saying anything, Anna Morgan firmly took the scalpel in her hand, raised it to her neck, and then, before Esther's astonished eyes and Samara's angry gaze, she stabbed it directly into the right side of her neck, until depths.

Matilda had arrived in the hallway just at that moment, stunned by such an image. Anna pulled out the scalpel once and reattached it. Blood spurted from her wound, covering the wall and staining her white coat. She did it again a second time and a third time as if she could not feel any pain. But she did feel it; she felt it all...

"Samara! No!" Matilda yelled from the end of the hall and quickly used her telekinesis to snatch the scalpel from Anna Morgan's hand before she repeated the abominable act a fourth time. But it was late enough.

The woman fell to the ground, first on her knees and then collapsed on her side. Blood kept pouring from her throat and mouth, trickling down her body and staining the floor. Only then did Samara seem to react and realize what she had done. Her face softened, and she looked in horror at her mother lying in front of her.

"No, no, no!" She screamed in horror and approached her mother, hugging her and trying to place her hand on her wound. Samara's clothes were stained red, as were her hands. "No, mommy... I'm sorry, I didn't mean to... I didn't mean to..."

Anna stared at her with empty eyes as she spat blood from her mouth. She coughed a few times, her breath hitting a bit near the end, and then… she just went still… Her eyes kept pointing to her daughter, but they weren't really looking at her. They weren't looking at anything at all, and Samara knew it.

"No, mommy... Nooo!!" Samara yelled loudly, and the walls and windows rumbled. Then she hugged her mother's body tightly, beginning to cry uncontrollably and staining herself even more with her blood. Their screams rang out loud, drowning out even the incessant sound of the alarm.

Matilda was astonished for a moment at the horrible scene she had just witnessed, but gradually she forced herself to react. Then she approached fearfully towards her patient.

"Samara," Matilda whispered very slowly. "Samara, listen to me…" The girl lifted her face covered in tears and blood (hers and her mother's) towards her. "Nothing of this is your fault, no..."

"You told me you would help me, Matilda…" Samara whispered suddenly between groans. "You told me that you would help me control my powers! You said to me that I wouldn't hurt anyone else anymore! And look what I did! I killed my mom! I killed her!"

Matilda froze again at the image in front of her: the image of a girl covered in blood, embracing her mother's lifeless body. The same image she had seen four years ago when she entered into that house in Chamberlain.

Esther was in a state quite similar to hers. Also, that image brought a wave of memories and feelings that drowned her. Suddenly she felt something that she hadn't felt for a long, long time: the urge to cry... but she wouldn't, not now or in that place.

Esther started abruptly and without much thought to shoot Matilda. The first bullet hit the doctor in the right shoulder, knocking her out of her thoughts and knocking her to the ground. Esther shot her three more times, but this time Matilda could react, focus, and stop the bullets before they hit her. This did not surprise her attacker, and, in fact, she expected it to happen just like that.

"Let's go!" Esther yelled loudly, and then she took Samara by the arm and yanked her upright. Samara didn't have the strength to resist and just let her pull as she continued to let out bitter sobs.

Matilda shook the bullets off her and tried to stand. But as she did so, she felt a great stabbing pain in her shoulder that brought her to her knees again. The bullet had entered and left without touching bone or anything, but that didn't take away the pain or the bleeding that was beginning to soak through her blouse. She tried again to stand up, now with better luck. She stepped past Anna Morgan's body and ran after the girls, clinging her left hand to the wound as best she could.

As they ran, Esther quickly took out her walkie-talkie.

"I need a damn distraction!" She yelled loudly, hoping Lily would hear her from the other side. "The woman who follows me is very dangerous."

There wasn't as such an answer from Lily, but she hoped she had heard her.

The two girls turned a corner, out of sight of Matilda long enough. When the psychiatrist turned the same corner, she stopped for a moment and looked around confusedly because there was no sign of who she was chasing. In front of her was only a long corridor, long enough so that at least she could see them in the distance because she had not been so far behind. But from the shape of the corridor, they couldn't have gone anywhere other than to the front, so she started to dash in that direction.

Her shoulder burned, and she had started to sweat.

She continued down the lonely corridor until she came to an end... and it really was. There was no other adjacent corridor. Instead, it ended in a wall with a window, perfectly closed and impossible to open. But there was no sign of Samara and that woman, who she was sure was the same one she had seen in Portland.

She turned on her feet, gazing thoughtfully at the doors on the side of the hall, suspecting that perhaps they had been hiding in one of those rooms. A reasonable thought, but wrong. Unbeknownst to Matilda, the little one hidden in the security control room had gotten into her head. By the time she finished going through half of those rooms, she had realized that the long hallway did indeed connect with others that she did not see or rather could not see. And at that point, that would be too late.

- - - -

"Mission accomplished," Esther said, pleased from the radio she had left for Lily in the security room. "I can't go back there. You'll have to go to the van on your own. Can you do it, brat?"

"With my eyes closed," Lily replied sarcastically.

She looked back at the monitors. Little by little, she let the illusions she had caused dissipate one by one. It would be difficult for her to keep everything working while leaving that place without being seen (literally). The monitors showed the reactions of relief, confusion, and, of course, the terror that did not disappear completely. Even some of the fighting that had started seemed unwilling to die down anytime soon.

Lily would have loved to stay long enough to see how far this could take. Could she even have her little puppets burn that whole place down on their own like Emily had? That would have been fun to watch. But indeed, it was time to go.

She placed her hands on the console and pushed herself back slightly to make the chair roll away from it so she could lower herself more quickly. However, before she could get her feet low enough, something stopped her tracks. At first, she didn't understand it, and later... she couldn't either. She felt her wrists clench, holding them steady and motionless on the armrests. And looking at them, she saw that it wasn't just the sensation: her wrists were surrounded by thick chains of shackles that had come practically out of nowhere.

"What?" She exclaimed in surprise, and a second later, more of those chains emerged, tying her entire torso to the chair and her two angles to each other. The latter gave her a painful cramp, as her injured leg had stuck and rubbed with the good one.

What was happening? Who had done that?

The chair turned on its own a hundred and eighty degrees, making Lily's face look right at the door. Her captor, or who she supposed this was, was standing there staring at her with sternness and deep concentration through the transparent glass of her thick glasses.

"You must be Lily," Cody commented somewhat harshly, approaching her without taking his eyes off her. Lily was looking at him too, with a combination of confusion and mostly anger.

"Are you doing this?" She questioned sharply. "They are not illusions, are they?"

"They are, but not like yours."

Cody stood right in front of the girl, analyzing her carefully. He could see a little of the bruise still present from the blow her kidnapper had given her, showing under her dark hair that covered part of her face. Cody noticed as well as the crutches that had leaned against the console. The skirt she was wearing wholly covered her thigh and, therefore, the bandage that wrapped her not very pleasant wound.

The next thing Cody noticed was much more horrible, and it scared him so much that he couldn't understand how he hadn't seen it at first: the two bodies lying on the ground, each shot in the head. Both in security guard uniforms, both obviously dead.

He was tempted to look away. He didn't want to have those horrible images in his head; the perfect recipe for a good nightmare. But it was late, well the image of their faces stuck against the pool of their own blood would not be quickly erased from his head. He decided then to turn entirely towards Lily and try not to look or think of anything else.

"Are you here with Leena Klammer? Why are you helping the woman who kidnapped you?"

Lily was silent for a moment, but then gradually, her aggressive expression softened, abruptly changing to a look full of anguish.

"I didn't know what else to do," she whispered almost painfully as if she were about to burst into tears. "She is not a girl as she seems. She's totally crazy! I thought she would kill me. Please help me…" She cut off her words abruptly, letting out a deep snort of exhaustion and perhaps frustration. That supposed fear and anguish, which for a second Cody was very close to swallowing, was gone in just a flash. "You know what, Cody? I'm too tired, and possibly high for so many drugs that crazy woman has given me, to play that now."

Cody didn't get much of a chance to think about how rare that abrupt change in attitude was, even despite what he had read in the file about her that Matilda had taught him. All his attention abruptly turned to one thing: the way she had called him.

"How do you know my name?" He murmured, quite confused.

After seeing what that girl had supposedly done in the past, one of his theories was that she could possess telepathic abilities. With that, it would not be so strange if she discovered some information about him. But… he hadn't thought about her name at the time, or not unless he realized it. Also, wasn't he supposed to have a specially placed protection on his mind to prevent such things?

Cody began to feel nervous… and perhaps more than that.

Lily, for her part, smiled, satisfied with his obvious reaction.

"How do I know the name of the scary little Cody Morgan who's afraid of falling asleep? People's fears and worries are the easiest I can perceive, and both are screaming loudly from you." Her smile widened even more, drawing a rather wicked grin on that tiny, supposedly innocent face. "What exactly were you planning to do by coming here? You aren't a hero, Cody… You're just a bunch of insecurities and horrors…"

Had she said fears and worries? Cody immediately remembered from just moments ago his reaction to seeing the bodies of the security guards. What had he thought of at the time? What was it that bothered him when he thought about his nightmares...?

Cody felt at that moment how a long, heavy hand was placed on his right shoulder, squeezing it tightly. Next was the sound of heavy, painful breathing coming right from behind him. He turned quickly, and then he saw it: that tall, thin, dull-skinned being, smeared over his gaunt face without any trace of hair, with his eyes sunken as if they were only empty sockets, in whose darkness two small white eyes appeared devoid of any trace of humanity or emotion in them. The creature's wrinkled lips curved into a smile even more hideous than Lily Sullivan's.

Cody let out a small cry of terror and quickly backed away, staring in disbelief at the figure in front of him. The creature approached him with slow steps, hunching its torso to one side and its head to the other, still looking at him. Its long arms fell to its sides, writhing as he advanced. Cody could hear the sound of its bones cracking and thundering.

"No, it can't be," Cody muttered, noticeably panicked. Without noticing, he tripped over the body of one of the guards as he backed away, falling to the floor in a sitting position; in one of the reddish puddles. "You no longer exist, I eliminated you!"

The creature let out a loud screech at once, and dozens of dark moths flew out of its mouth and began to fly at it. Cody closed his eyes and raised his arms, trying to protect himself from the animals. He felt them collide with him, fluttering in his hair, and even seemed to feel that one of them was biting the skin of his hands. The monster abruptly lunged at him, crossing the distance that separated them in less than a second. He took him by the arms and pushed him to the ground. When Cody opened his eyes again, he found himself face to face with the long look from the worst of his nightmares, staring at him from above, still with that long and grotesque smile. That thing extended its face to him until it was right next to his ear.

"I am... always... with you..." It whispered in a hoarse, exhausted voice that left Cody petrified.

Then the creature wrapped her two long, slender arms around him and pressed its cold, rough body against it. And little by little, Cody felt himself sinking into that grayish skin, being enveloped by it little by little as if it were a pupal cocoon.

"No!" He began to scream desperately, trying to get the thing off him, but it was impossible to do so.

That was an illusion; that wasn't real. That image had been invented by his subconscious many years ago based on the appearance of his biological mother dying of cancer, something his young mind had not been able to understand. And in those moments, he had not created it, nor was he asleep, so there was no way it was there. His logical side knew it and was yelling it loudly at him. But even so, he couldn't help himself. He couldn't push the thing away. He, a supposed expert in illusions, could not get rid of one as strong as that.

And there he was, writhing in terror on the ground as if he were a nine-year-old boy again, without understanding what was happening to him. No monsters or moths were stalking him. Only Lily Sullivan, who a while ago had managed to get up from the chair because, before such a scene, Cody had been unable to continue maintaining the chains that held her. The girl stood next to him, leaning on her crutches, watching with amusement as he writhed, staining his clothes with the blood on the floor.

"I may not be able to make my illusions real like you, but I don't need them to be. I just need you to believe they are... Still, I am surprised to see what that woman told me was true. There are more like me in these parts." Then he snorted wryly. "Although, hardly a being as pathetic as you could be considering my equal..."

Her radio rang again at that moment.

"We're getting to the exit! Where are you going?!" She heard Esther's voice echo, pulling her out a bit from the luscious scene she was contemplating.

"I'm coming," she replied reluctantly, pressing the button to open the communication and then snorted in annoyance. "Apparently, we wouldn't have enough time to get this over with. I'd like to stay and talk, but I'm in a hurry. Have fun."

While Cody felt that he was wholly absorbed by that creature above him, being totally immobilized and with difficulty breathing, Lily began to head to the exit as the rhythm of her crutches allowed her. She would leave that illusion active until she was at a safe distance, and she would have to deal more with not being seen than with torturing this stranger. She was partly pleased with the idea of ​​leaving that individual alive for now. Perhaps they would meet again, and he could show her what else he was capable of, and she would do the same...

END OF CHAPTER 42

Author's Notes:

-The description of the creature Cody sees at the end of this chapter is from the Canker Man's monster, originally from the film Before I Wake of 2016.

[yetanotherreader]

Useful—2

Genre: College AU

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Y/N Y/L/N, slight Dean x Lisa

Summary: The school's most popular boy wants to be friends with Y/N, out of the blue. It definitely doesn't have anything to do with her hot best friend, though.

Word Count (for the chapter): 2,667

Warnings (for the chapter): Seeing something not so kid-friendly, double meaning jokes, panic attacks, fluff?

_____

Useful Masterlist

Chapter 2

Chapter 1

You let Lisa guide you through the crazy crowd of the party, as you kept your nose scrunched up at the strong smell of alcohol, sweat and what you could think was some kind of drugs. Once in the kitchen, Lisa asked you if she could go meet with her friends. When you said it was no problem, she left you to have some fun as she went to have hers. You rolled your eyes at her before she made her way to the crowd again. "Bitch," you yelled playfully at her, as she showed you her middle finger which erupted a laugh from you, "Don't die of alcohol tonight!" Damn you loved her. As much as she got on your nerves, you were fond of her like your own sister. You were not one for friends, past experiences and your own self esteem stopped you from that. Friendship had always been important to you, and maybe that's why you were deprived of it, but she treated you better than so many others. She was important to you, just like your own family. Like your own sister.

You made your way to the fridge, hoping to find something light so that you could drive Lisa and yourself back to the dorm when she was wasted. When you found nothing of the taste, you settled for just water, muttering under your breath how stupid it was of Lisa to bring you to a party where you could have nothing but the water you could have very much had at home watching a conjuring movie.

Of course, you had to see it. You were in a hell house full of fuckboys, of course you had to see that. You rushed back to the kitchen in not more than two minutes thoroughly embarrassed, after seeing Ketch's mouth in a junior's pu—between her legs. You had finally found yourself a silent corner just to end up seeing the worst there. And hearing too.

"For the love of- what's so hard in finding a room?" You muttered to yourself as you made a puke-face trying to shake the image out of your head. Hearing a familiar deep chuckle behind yourself, you turned to see Dean sitting on the counter with a beer in his hand, one leg outstretched and his elbow resting on the other one holding the bottle casually. He wore a black button up with the top buttons undone and a blue pair of jeans, and yet again you found yourself trying to not gawk. How could he look so good with such simple clothing?

"Well, I'd like to know what got that reaction out of you?" He smirked suggestively, clearly enjoying your flustered state with both what you saw earlier and what he caught you doing.

"Nothing more than what people should limit to their bedrooms. Advice for future, Jade Boy, always choose to get a room before mouth fuckin' someone. Makes it easier for the people around." You said nonchalantly, making your way to throw your bottle in the bin, suddenly hating the idea of anything near your mouth. Not that it was anything to do with hiding your embarrassment from the holy choice of words you just used.

You heard a full boyish laugh this time, drawing one smile at your face too. You swiped the curve off your lips, as you turned around to face the counter again, only to find him already making his way over to you with a smirk, "Which makes me think, do you enjoy it?" As if in a fraction of a second, your heart chose to run miles a minute, you felt your cheeks heat up at the almost-no-distance between you two. You just hoped the dim light didn't allow his eyes to figure out the tints your cheeks were blazing with.

"Wouldn't you like to know, Winchester?" You tried sounding confident and for this one lucky time, your voice didn't betray you. His brows rose up in surprise, certainly not expecting this reply from you which just made you a couple times more confident at the moment. Bringing your index finger to his chest, you pushed him a little making some space between the two of you, as you walked past a very shocked Dean.

Stepping out in the air, the first thing you did was release the breath you were holding.

"Oh. My. God." You low-key exclaimed to yourself quietly, "Oh. My. Frickin. Gawd." Wasn't acting confident around a guy like him and leaving him speechless on the top of that just the ultimate task? You deserved some cake for that, and you were going to treat yourself in the morning. Yes. That was exactly what you were going to do.

You made your way over to Lisa's car, settling on the hood of it, deciding to finish the fanfiction you were currently reading while you wait for your tanned friend. It was a long evening, even for a Friday night. At least for you it was.

A good minute passed and Dean still stood frozen trying to make out what just happened. Y/N had sassed him earlier that day and even through the years she always had too, but this one was definitely something he wasn't expecting. "Wow.." he whispered to himself, shaking his head, regaining his composure, "You got some, there, Y/L/N."

Making his way back to the hall, he wasn't met with the most pleasant sight. He had hoped for her to show up but one thing he definitely didn't want to see was her heated make out session with—was that Michael? What the- He knew it was a drunken hook up, but he couldn't help the roll of his eyes as his crush and his biggest rival ate each other's faces in front of him, clearly indicating further. He definitely didn't want to witness that horror now, did he? Michael knew about his silly little crush on the girl, so it was obviously on purpose. Therefore, another thing Dean didn't want that night was Michael knowing that Dean saw what he saw. Groaning to himself, Dean made his way out of the apartment. Ah, how he wished his buddies were there. He really missed Jo and Cas tonight. Dean was a popular guy, no denying but the only two people he trusted apart from his brother were those two. But like, who did that? Who threw a party and ran off halfway through with her best friend? He was very glad that Jo had finally asked Cas out when that assbutt couldn't grow the balls to do it, but now he had started feeling really left out. He felt not himself a lot lately, either. It was starting to get back like those times, like his childhood and that was the last thing he wanted for himself. He didn't want to go back into that shell again. He didn't want to become that again, it scared him to no ends. He had started to feel like before, lonely and ...lost.

"Whoa, snap out of it, bud." A hand grabbed his pulling him out of his trance. He realized he was just about to walk into a pole, "You okay?" His wide eyes stared back into Y/N's stoic yet concerned eyes.

"Uh..yeah, absolutely." He chuckled at her nervously, "I'm fine." He did it again. He overthought his situation, again, let his mind drive to the things he shouldn't have. He couldn't do it, he couldn't let himself fall weak to loneliness. He was strong, he had to be strong. He had always been for Sammy, for dad. He didn't even realize when his hands started trembling, followed by his whole body. Beads of sweat started forming on his forehead even in the rather chilly night, as his vision started getting distant.

His shivering hands initially made you think it was just the weather, so you didn't give much thought to it. He wasn't wearing his jacket that night, it had to be the weather but what you saw next made you widen your eyes. Hadn't you be that close, you wouldn't even have made out the subtle yet quick tremble of his body, "Dean!" You almost yelled out his name but he didn't respond. His eyes were distance, as he struggled to breathe. He was having a panic attack, you figured. Quickly you tiptoed wrapping your hands around his neck, instead of the abdomen, as you tried to make your tiny frame engulf his much larger one as much as possible, "You're okay, you're fine." You kept whispering comforting words in his ears, as you kept your hold firm around his stiff shaking body, rubbing your palm up and down his neck, "Dean, can you hear me? Try to breathe for me, please? Hey...Dea-"

"C-can't" His breathless voice was barely audible as you brought your other hand to rub his back.

"Yes, you can. Just try to breathe and count with me, okay?"

"'Kay"

"One" You continued your comforting movements along his back and neck.

"O-wuh" He tried to inhale, but failed.

"Good, two"

"T-tooh" He was starting to scare you, but you decided to keep calm. It wasn't easy to handle a panic attack, he was doing good.

"You're doing great Dean. Now, three"

"Th-three"

"Four"

"F-our"

"Five"

"Five"

"Great, Dean. Si-" you stopped mid speech as you felt his arms wrap around your waist, tight, and his face hiding in the crook of your neck. You felt his body relax but didn't stop your little efforts of stroking his back as you let yourself play with the end of his hair, soothingly making patterns on his neck. You felt him inhale and you stiffened for just a second but seemingly he caught on it as he imitated the action. He was just about to pull away when you resumed your actions from earlier, and he let himself relax again, "Are you okay?"

He didn't respond, instead just tightened his hold around you. To someone else, this action might have looked very suggestive but you knew better. You could understand his current situation better than anyone else. He needed it, and he deserved it.

"You're going to be okay." You said, as you stand on your feet again, his posture bending so that he didn't need to pull away. You felt a sigh from him in your neck, as his lips grazed the skin there. You tried your hardest but couldn't help the shiver that ran down your spine.

"Thank you," he whispered loosening his hold on your waist and pulling away almost reluctantly, leaving you to immediately miss his warmth in the chilly night, "I- I- Y/N- can expla-"

"You wanna take a walk for a little bit? Might need it now."

"Are you- are you coming too?" He looked at you through his lashes, looking heartbreakingly adorable.

"Yeah" You whispered, smiling up at him. He gave you a grateful smile in return.

"I know a park we can go to." He smiled shyly at her. God, there he again made a joke out of himself. What was that even? He fell into an attack in front of Y/N? She already thought all the bad things of him, and now she'd think that he was a loser too. How great could his evening go?

"Don't." He looked in her direction as she stared ahead of her.

"What?"

"Don't think what you're thinking, Winchester. It was okay, totally fine. Let's try not going into another one, though."

"I-" he sighed as she walked a step ahead of him, "thanks."

"Oh well, someone's saying thanks." She sassed him, again, but with a gentle and careful voice as she kicked a pebble. If he wasn't mistaking, it even had a hint of playfulness in it. 

"Thanks for helping me in there," he vaguely gestured to the building, "you didn't have to see that." He looked down but he felt her gaze on him, finally.

She didn't reply, as he regretted everything again. A few moments of silence passed, as they just walked in peace. In peace. Even though he was very embarrassed, he felt a sense of calm at the moment.

"You wanna talk about it?" She spoke after a while, and getting no response from him, she quickly changed the subject, "Okay, alright. Let's go back to the cars. It's freezing out here. At least the buildings blocked some wind."

They lied on the hood of the Impala, just silently gazing at the stars. It was a long night for the both of them. Dean was very hesitant to let her sit on baby, but again, after what she did for him, it would be the least he could have done. In fact, he could sense the awkwardness seeping through her too, but eventually she relaxed. He had never seen her like that, so gentle. Sure, he didn't doubt she cared about the people she loved a lot. He had seen her with Lisa, noticed how she cared about her even though she didn't show it. That was the kind of care he wanted, from someone, anyone. Someone who would care about him without making a big deal out of it, someone who would spoil him or tell him he wasn't that bad after all. And maybe that's why he wanted to be friends with her in the first place. Of course he's going to deny it first thing in the morning, but he let himself admit for just tonight that all he wanted was the care from her, not Lisa.

"Dean," She once again, successfully broke his trail of thoughts and he mentally thanked her for that. He didn't want another embarrassment tonight.

"Hmm?"

"You don't have to feel bad, okay? It was- I meant it when I said it was fine. You didn't embarrass yourself at all."

He was speechless for instance, but quickly composed himself, "thanks"

"Too many thanks for a night, Winchester." He heartily chucked at that. God, Y/L/N, she was something else.

Another few moments of comfortable silence were broken by Y/N's phone pinging. She checked the text message and groaned.

"Things okay?"

"Oh, yeah. Nothing" He saw her open the Uber app on her phone, and frowned.

"You can just ask me for a ride, Y/L/N, I don't bite."

She raised her eyebrows, skeptically, "You'll give?"

He smirked, "Whatever you ask for."

"You're gross," she rolled her eyes as she laughed at his joke, probably for the first time, "You think you can drive? I can ride you to your place if you want.

He threw a mischievous glance at her side, as it took her a moment or two to register what she just said, "DRIVE. I can drive you to your place if you want."

It was his turn to laugh this time, "Y/L/N, don't think you'll get to take advantage of one of my weak moments and drive baby." He opened the door of the Impala and sat himself in the driver's seat.

"Baby?" She chuckled as she settled herself on the shotgun, "You named your car? That too, baby?"

"Yeah so?" He looked offended as he side glanced at her, "Don't mind the nerd, baby, she doesn't understand us." This was your cue to just burst out laughing, and damn was that a sound. It was the first time ever he heard you laugh and it was... mesmerizing to say the least.

"Shut up" He grumbled as he started the car, the familiar purr making his heart relax.

"Oh my," she said in awe of the sound, "Sexy babe." She let out as she ran her hand over the dashboard, leaving him smirking with pride.

Chapter 3

___________

A/N: Ah! There's the second part. Okay I wrote it when I was sick with a cold and a fever(I still am), and it was 3 in the morning. Pardon any mistakes. 

Tags: @bi-danvers0 @mrsdeanfuckingwinchester @itsjaybro16 @mml232 @blablatiti @stilltoomuchafangirl @bat-shark-repellant @bluebell-24 @shortwinchester @always-money-in-the-banana-stand @a-girl-who-loves-disney

[hardforbenhardy]

period | benxfem!reader

summary: your period is the bane of your existence, and makes being in a new relationship a little awkward. you don’t want ben to know, because your too embarrassed; but of course, he finds out

warnings: fluff, fluff and even more fluff

word count: 2.6k

i love ben just as equally as i love roger so i decided to write one for him, hope you enjoy :)

The stabbing pains in your abdomen wouldn't leave, you felt like you could barely even move without going to throw up. It felt as if your stomach had been tied in a knot a million times, so tight that it was impossible to take a breath. An ear-splitting thumping resided in the back of your head, the sensation of a hot rod being pressed against the right side of your head. Your eyes filled with hot tears which allowed themselves to roll down your reddened cheeks, wetting the surface indefinitely. The pain was almost unbearable; no matter how often it happened, you were never able to get used to it. It happened every single month - the same week, the same amount of days, the same symptoms. Your period was the utter bane of your existence.

You had been to the doctor about it multiple times, all they could do was prescribe pills to ease the pain, though they barely did anything. The only benefit of said pill was that you and your boyfriend, Ben, didn't have to bother with protection when you went at it (as long as you'd both been tested recently of course) Thankfully, it wasn't something the two of you shied away from conversing about; you were both very open to each other about your sex life and that's what made it so much better. You both knew exactly what each other liked, what each other didn't like, the best positions; after only 4 months of being together, you and Ben were inseparable. Which honestly confused you a little considering you still found it extremely awkward and embarrassing to talk to him about your period. You didn't really know why, you knew it was nothing to be ashamed of and that it happens to everyone; but it just made you feel that little bit weak and kind of gross. Thankfully, your period did only last 3-4 days usually, so it wasn't hard to hide away from Ben's company during the time period; you would usually explain you have a lot of paperwork to get done so you couldn't allow yourself any distractions. Admittedly, Ben was a little suspicious that you were always so busy that you couldn't even text him, at the same time every month; but he believed you and he didn't want to bug you about it. Even if you were lying to him, he knew it must've been for a valid reason. Or at least, he hoped. This month, however, he wanted to see you; he had major news that he wanted to share as soon as possible.

The alert on your phone broke the silence of the room suddenly, making you jump a little, which sent a shot of pain surging through your body. You rolled onto your side as carefully as you could, clutching tightly onto your stomach in an attempt to alleviate any pain you could, to pick up your phone and squint your eyes to read it.

Benny💓

Love, I know you're busy, but I need to see you - can I come over? I have some major news and I want to tell you first! x

You felt a wave of anxiety rush over you as you tried to think of an excuse to keep him away. Though the idea of 'major news' intrigued you, you were in no shape at all to even see Ben, let alone get excited about whatever he had to tell you. Therefore, in an attempt to scare him away, you texted him back.

You

Sounds lovely babe, but I'm really really busy and if I don't have this work done, I'm getting fired for good! Wait for tomorrow x

Benny💓

But I can't wait! It'll probably be all over the news by tomorrow - I promise it'll take like 10 minutes of your time. Surely you should take a break, you've been at it for 3 days straight now x

You

Ben, if it's that important, then you can text it me. You can't come over.

Benny💓

Love, are you okay? You sound a little off x

Have I done something wrong?

Love?

You knew he hadn't, and you knew you shouldn't be taking out your pain on him; but your hormones were making you much more impatient than usual. You didn't answer, instead just threw your phone on the other side of the bed and groaned loudly, the tears began to roll down your cheeks again. You hated, absolutely hated, being rude to Ben; especially when he did nothing to deserve it at all. But your patience was running thin and if the only way was to ignore him and his texts, then that's what you'd do. Of course it didn't work at all, because about 10 minutes later you heard the front door to your apartment click open and Ben's voice shouting through "Y/N?"

You shot up off the bed, ignoring the huge amounts of pain it sent through you, to his deep voice echoing through your flat. Ben was partly expecting to either see you at the dinner table surrounded by a sea of books, or strangely to be met with the sounds of your moans; but instead it was just silence. You admitted defeat, knowing you now had no chance of hiding away from him any longer, so you just remained curled up in your duvet. "In here" You rasply shouting through to the hall, hoping he would hear you're dishevelled voice. You knew he had once you heard his footsteps racing down the hallway towards the door, his excited voice shouting through "I got the best news today, babe, it was from the producers of that film I auditioned for a few weeks back- Babe?"

You could sense Ben was now in the room due to the fact his voice was loud enough and not to mention the fact the room was now flooded with a bright light which sent you blind for a second or two. The pounding in your head only worsened with the sudden beams entering your sight, making you groan loudly in excruciating pain. You felt the bed dip slightly beside you and a hand shake your shoulder, but you resisted turning to face him as you knew full well you looked like an absolute mess. "Babe, what's wrong?"

"Ben, would you just fuck off" You snapped, the anger surging through your body after he blatantly went against your orders to not come over. However, you instantly felt regret and turned to face Ben - "B-ben, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean that, I-I-"

"Y/N, please just tell me what is wrong, h-have you been crying? Have I done something wrong?" He breathed, his eyes beginning to glass over a little too at the sight of you, his mind searching for things he may have done to upset you in any way so he could reverse it, or at least try to. You went to sit against the headboard, trying your hardest to ignore the stabbing pains in your abdomen from the movement, which were making you wince loudly and more tears come out your eyes. Ben immediately grabbed the top of your arms to help lift you up, easing the strain the little and therefore the pain.

"N-no Ben, you've done nothing wrong I promise. I've just been ill for the past few days and I didn't want to trouble you was all" You rasped, your throat completely giving out. Ben furrowed his brows but immediately jumped off the bed to dial down the light to a more suitable level, knowing that it probably meant you had a headache and a bright light was the worst of situations for you right now.

"Love, not to be rude, but this isn't just feeling 'ill'. There is something seriously wrong with you - you are in pain whenever you move, you've got a migraine, you look like you've been crying all day every day, and you have bags under your eyes. Look, I'm calling the doctors and I'll get you an appointment, and in the meanwhile I'll stay here and keep you company, okay?" He explained, going to grab his phone out his pocket and dial the doctors.

"N-no Ben, you don't need to call the doctors! I promise, I'll be fine tomorrow, there's nothing to worry about"

"Y/N, there's a lot to worry about - you are in a lot of pain, and this happens every month at the same time, you block me out and by the sounds of it, everyone else. Please just explain-"

"I'm on my period Ben! Okay!" You snapped, your patience running thin. You honestly expected him to catch on to it by now, considering you weren't hiding it very well, but you had no choice but to shout it out. Your cheeks blushed when you realised what you had just admitted, and you went to pull the covers back over your head to hide yourself, but that didn't stop Ben from comforting you. You didn't notice his reaction to what you said considering you were too busy burying yourself in the silk sheets of your duvet.

"Honey, why didn't you just say so?" He comforted, making you peek your head out to look at him sat next to you. He climbed under the covers with you and pulled you tightly into his warm embrace, letting you sob softly into his chest.

"Because it's embarrassing Ben! We've only been together for a few months! It makes me feel weak, and I feel like a bitch all the time because of my hormones, a-and I feel gross" You stuttered, the positioning of your head mumbling the words and vibrating his chest softly. You felt Ben release a large puff of air and his arms tighten around your waist.

"Love, I'm not one of those guys who thinks you're disgusting because you menstruate. It's completely natural, and I couldn't care less if you are bleeding from your vagina or not - you tell me when you don't feel well and you let me care for you. I don't like seeing you like this - now I'm going to pop out for 10 minutes and then I'll be straight back, okay?" Ben grinned down at you, stroking his hand through your knotted hair in a calming manner. You groan a little at the idea of being alone again, but you know that Ben wouldn't leave you unless he absolutely had too so you nodded your head slightly, the movement straining your neck a little. A smile was plastered on your face at Bens word, however, feeling a little better about your period. At least you could talk to him about it now, and you would feel a little less removed or awkward. You felt shivers course through your body when Ben released you from his snuggly embrace and stood up beside the bed, pulling on his coat and grabbing the car keys. The ten minutes he was gone, you felt awful again - you felt nauseous, your headache was back, you felt like you we being stabbed a million times, but most of all you felt confused. With Ben by your side, you realised how alleviated you were of the pain from before, but all that was different was Bens comfort.

You were knocked out of your thoughts when the door slammed shut again, hearing Ben shout "I'm back" through the corridor. A grin stretched across your face when you looked up to see Ben stood in the doorway to your bedroom, holding 3 full shopping bags and also carrying multiple blankets and hoodies - his, to be exact. "I didn't really know what to get but I remember you telling me a few weeks ago that there were some movies you hadn't seen yet but wanted to watch, so I got them. I also bought you some chocolate - your favourite, obviously - and some ice cream. Oh, and I stopped at mine to grab you some of my hoodies because you always say how you like them"

"Only because they smell like you" You chuckle breathly, lifting your body to rest against the headboard and make grabby hands toward the bags, like a child asking for its sippy cup. Ben chuckled back, bringing the bags over to the bed and rushing to the kitchen to grab spoons so the two of you could dig into the ice cream. "I-I seriously can't thank you enough Ben, what did I do to deserve you"

"Love, you don't need to thank me. I love you so much, I don't want to see you like that ever again okay, so you tell me when you feel ill or upset so I can help you"

You couldn't really respond, your voice giving out, so you nodded gently and took a large bite of the mint ice cream. Ben laughed when you moaned at the sensation of the cold hitting your tongue, making you laugh too. Soon your mood changed, not in a bad way, but you found yourself crying instead of laughing. You seriously couldn't fathom how you had scored a boyfriend like Ben - he could have anyone he chooses, but he still chose you. Ben noticed that your laughter had turned to tears, and immediately dropped his spoon to help you.

"What is it love? Are you okay? Is it your cramps again? I got you some heating pads but I'm not sure how they work, let me just-" He fretted, but he was quickly stopped when he noticed me laughing again. "N-no, just hormones babe I'm fine. In fact, I'm a lot better now you're here- I guess you're like my cure or whatever. Could we watch one of those films you got and cuddle?"

He took one of the films out the bag and put in in your tv, while you stripped your top off and threw one of Bens baggy hoodies over your head, letting it bunch around your chin so you could smell the scent of Ben easily. It was your absolute favourite scent- there were all kinds of smells combined into one like some magical concoction; the smell of his cinnamon spice shower gel, his tea tree shampoo, cigarette smoke (which you didn't particularly like, but when tied in with everything else, it was like the cherry on the cake); but most prominent of them all was sandalwood. You considered this to be his natural scent, which you thought was a little ironic based on the fact that sandalwood's fragrance is closest to the human pheromone and is traditionally considered as an aphrodisiac, and you had never been more attracted to a man in your life. He chuckled at the sight of you taking a big inhale through your nose to really take in the smells, but you didn't care because you felt like you were in heaven. Ben threw himself back onto the bed, and cuddled up close to you, wrapping his arms around you waist and resting your head on his chest. Then you remembered the actual reason Ben had come round in the first place:

"What was your big news?"

"Oh, I completely forgot about that. I got that role I auditioned for a few weeks back, you know the one for that action movie." He grinned, making you squeal in excitement

"Really?! Ben that's amazing! I'm so proud of you!! How could you forget something like that!"

"Because whenever I'm with you, I swear everything else just disappears"

"I love you Ben Jones" You grin, your heart skipping a beat at his words. You had found the cure to your pain, when it had been there all along. It didn't surprise you one bit, but you were just glad you now had even more excuses to cuddle to the love of your life.

What did you do to deserve this man?

[deafchild2000]

AU H2O Friendship: Charlotte and Bella

(I don't want any crap about this alone. Free Speech can be practiced but no hate!)

If I had to think of a friendship from H2O that I'd like to have seen, it would be between Charlotte Watsford and Bella Hartley.

(Yes, I am aware that for this to happen, Charlotte had to have stuck around and still be a mermaid for Bella to approach her, but this is an AU of itself!)

So why? Excellent question because at first, one would think they would be as opposite as Rikki and Emma were. But at second glance, if you dig deeper (and deploy better writing and character development), their friendship makes a lot of sense.

For starters, the two would have been their own separate group from the girls, power-wise:

Charlotte has the main 3: Freezing, Boiling and Manipulating/Creating water from an already existing source. Or in layman's terms, Charlotte can manipulate water in its 3 states of matter -Heat being Gas and Solid being Ice.

Bella's powers aren't in a matter of states, but thickness. Realistically, Bella has Viscosity Manipulation:

"The resistance of fluids to a change shape, influencing spraying, injection molding, and surface coating. In everyday terms (and for fluids only), viscosity is "thickness" or "internal friction", thus, water is "thin", having a lower viscosity, while honey is "thick", having a higher viscosity. Put simply, the less viscous the fluid is, the greater its ease of movement (fluidity). The user could make water thicker, making it harder for sea-life to survive or have honey pour out like water by making it thinner. " (from Superpower Wiki)

Therefore, Bella's powers allow her to make any liquid thick in anyway - thick enough to an ooz-like substance, hard enough to walk on, or causing it to explode (or attack).

So, in the best phrasing, both girls have their own sets of powers. And surprisingly, could use them in combinations if they wanted to: constructing paths while avoiding getting wet, creating attacks, creating items from molding and hardening, diversions and escapes to avoid exposure.... Basically, more than we ever saw on the show. And because their powers are so alike and different, it would avoid jealousy between them (especially on Charlotte's part, since she wouldn't feel like she had to compete).

Next, the friendship itself. What would it be like? Bella is mostly seen and notedly described as Bubbly, Caring and Attractive, but with her Status, she's doesn't let anyone get to close to her. In canon, it was Cleo and Rikki's - reckless - use of their powers that caught her attention, leading one to think she thought she was alone. Charlotte is Honest, Humorous (in her own way), and Strong-Willed. However, she is prone to Jealousy and Insensitivity, especially when feeling threatened or stressed.

As canon, we obviously saw Charlotte's worst traits at best and her best traits at worst (bad writing!) and Bella doesn't really stand up much for herself nor let it be known (debatable passive). So as friends, here's how I'd imagine it going down: (For Charlotte) Bella would be able to reach out to Charlotte in her worst moods and calm her down, encourages her to look closely at her actions and the consequences, inspire her immerse herself in her art, implore her to take in to regard of other people's feelings and accept that things won't always go her way/(For Bella) Charlotte would teach her to not be such a Pushover, to raise her voice, to take risks with relationships but call out when said relationships don't seem fair, provide honest opinions where others would rather flatter her, and tell her it's okay to be a little selfish in her life. But the main they both have in common (beside being the "4th" mermaid) is that, regardless of how it came to be, both girls know what it's like to be the outsider and will go out of their way to reassure each other that they're not alone anymore.

Lastly, they would become best friends because, unlike their Mako Mermaid counterparts, the Main Mermaid Trio would never have let them in.

(Y'all gonna think I'm bashing, but on this blog, I'll never be anything BUT honest regarding this!)

Take away the love triangles, legacies, durations and all that, let's tell the truth: Charlotte would have never been welcomed into the group. Not only were they waaayyy too closed off with anybody else aside their group (include boyfriends and exclude families), they had these two rigid yet nostalgic old people where were stuck in the glory days, back when they were young and happier, but disregarded why their group basically broke up (I mean, c'mon! They never even had families! They were still old geezers in the end!). "Only 3 Mermaids" statement only ended up being proven true because the girls (together and on their own) couldn't see past the idea that it didn't need to be "just three", choosing to follow the Past Gen's terrible examples . Max himself was in the wrong too for low-key encouraging Lewis that Cleo would always be the one for him - Basically my logic: If they are meant to last, let it happen on its own. Don't interfere! - and for leading Charlotte to gain and lose her tail, only indulging her because she was Gracie's granddaughter and inadvertly helping her loss only when her bad side became more apparent. Yes, she may be a lot like Gracie , but she has her flaws too. Basically, Season 2 was a mess of misinterpretations, past nalstogia, constant hypocrisy! Charlotte may have been in the wrong, but everyone else constituted to her downfall. Plus, Charlotte was realistic and straightforward on how she felt, having no problem of acting on it (like a certain fiery mermaid y'all like to praise....). Cleo, Rikki (and later Emma) were long ready to dismiss her before they even gave her approval or a chance. A chance they'd never give her, even as a legacy.

(If you by a feel I'm using the same arguments, sorry. As said before, I can't even talk about the second season without ranting!)

Moving forward, lets talk about Bella. For thise who believe they would have let Bella in, even if Emma hadn't left, bless your optimistic hearts. I might have said the same thing, but if the experience with Charlotte was still fresh in the mind, powers and lovers aside, the Ireland-made mermaid was better off if she kept walking when she first appeared. Let's play on the Comet still heading to earth: From 3x01, Bella would try to acknowledge the girls after the guy harassed her, they'd dismiss her. She'd try again at the bar named after Rikki, where they'd do it again until the Water Tentacle takes said mermaid away. Bella still stays to introduce herself, they'd thank her but dismiss her. 3 times would be enough for Bella to believe they'd want to be left alone. Why? Because the girls choose to only stick in 3s and Charlotte is still a fresh wound for them. Lewis might try to get them to befriend her, but they never listen to him anyways unless needed. Bella keeps her distance, the girls are stuck realizing a comet would destroy the world (and regarding the crystals, never wear them.) When comes time, either Emma or Cleo might realize Bella could help, but dismiss it as they'd thing 3 of them are enough to stop it. But Emma's powers can't hold hold the Tower of Light and the world does end. Why? Because they chose to be stuck in their ways and ignore the signs that Bella was meant to be with them for a reason. Yeah, this is all speculation on MY own take of how it would have went, that's beside the point. While it's nice to think Bella would have got a chance, in actuality, the only reason her spot was made was to secure the "Only 3" rule in Emma absence and you can't really deny it. Season 3 was an AU of its own where Bella's introduction all depended on timing and inconvenience on the Rikki and Cleo's part.

That being said, between the two mermaids, the H2O Trio would have never batted an eye at them, not unless they had too. And because of this, Charlotte and Bella would feel it was better to form their own group since they literally would have no one else to accept them.

All together, friendship between Charlotte Watsford and Bella Hartley is one friendship that I would have love to have seen and recognize as it's a friendship formed from loneliness and differences that set them apart from everyone else yet their do very personalities compliment each other and would bring out the best in them. Between their very different sets of powers, traits, interaction with the girls, they just might actually be what the other needed.

[lil-papaya-tifosi]

Masterlist

Word Count: 3777

Summary: Things rarely happen during the night shift, but tonight, it seems like the whole world is ending. Well, only according to my neighbor.

It was a night like any other. After 1am people rarely came into the small shop to get anything, be it food, drinks or other things they found here. Therefore I often had some peace until the end of my shift, which wasn’t until morning at 6 o’clock. It was exactly the same now. I had just said goodbye to the last customer and let myself fall on the small stool that always stood behind the counter. A quick look at the small digital clock next to the cash register told me that it was just after 1. If someone stormed into the store now, the world really had to be ending. And by that I didn’t mean a miniscule storm, but something bigger. Like a nuclear war between Trump and North Korea or the outbreak of the zombie apocalypse.

For a short moment I closed my eyes and enjoyed the silence. As long as you could call the buzzing of the refrigerated counters and the quiet music coming out of the speakers silence. I had become so accustomed to the constant background noises that they almost had a calming effect on me. Every now and then the flickering neon tube above the candy shelf attracted my attention. Not a soul was to be seen far and wide. The view I had from around the heated counters for the baked goods, onto the small side street confirmed this. At this time of day a lone car rarely drove here and if one ever did, then mostly only to avoid the idiotically operated traffic lights of the main streets.

I sat down normally again and dug out my papers to study. I did that almost every night shift I had. One of the reasons why I really couldn’t understand why each of my colleagues avoided the night shift. Unlike during the day, it was always quiet, because exciting things rarely happened during the night shifts. I was almost always able to concentrate on learning, and I hardly ever had to deal with annoying customers or noisy children. Usually they brought up the argument that I could also learn at home and should spend the nights sleeping. But the big difference was that I wasn’t paid at home also I didn’t sleep at home anyways, when I was spending the nights learning. Besides, a student knows no sleep during the Finals week. It’s basically an unwritten law. Thus this argument was also void. Therefore I preferred to be paid for learning. >Okay, let’s have a look.< I thought to myself before I buried my nose in my anatomy book.

The loud ringing of the bell above the shop door, which had been violently torn open, tore me away from my notes. Frightened, I flinched and automatically looked at the small digital clock next to me. The small display showed shortly after 3. At this time there really must have been a nuclear war outside or the zombie apocalypse must have broken out, otherwise I couldn’t explain the heavy steps and heavy breathing, which echoed through the shop. I could hardly see anybody from my position. This was also due to the fact that the heated counter blocked my view of most of the shop. The unknown person seemed to have stopped because the steps had ceased. But now the whirring of one of the refrigerated counters became louder, a sure indicator that he had opened one of the doors. Slowly the situation scared me a little and I hoped that I would not be asked for the entire contents of the cash register in a few seconds. But wasn't there a first time for everything? A very loud >>Fuck! << let me flinch again, the fridge door being slammed in annoyance. Cautiously I got up and peered as well as I could over the shelves, while from the back of the shop an indefinable long strand of curses came floating towards me. So if one really intended to rob me now, whoever it was, was on the completely wrong side of the shop, since all you could find back there was milk in every variation. On the other hand though, if he really intended to steal milk I would definitely worry about the average salary of our society, because milk was really not expensive.

I timidly took a step out of my cover and continued to spy across the shelves. Apart from a black mop of hair I couldn't see anything. Gathering all my courage, I spoke up, not leaving the protection of my counter. >>Can I help you in any way? << Surprisingly, my voice trembled less than I expected. Quite contrary to my hands which were shaking uncontrollably. The black head shot up jerkily and looked over the shelves at me. I resisted my initial instinct to jump behind the counter again to hide and took a step forward to make myself more visible. >>Y/n? << It suddenly came quite confused from the unknown gentleman. My heart was racing now. Although I knew the voice, I couldn’t immediately identify it because of my nervousness. My instinct took over when the stranger came out behind the shelves and let me take another step back behind the desk.

A wave of relief washed over me when I saw who had stormed into the store. >>Jungkook? << I asked just as confused as he was while leaning against the shelf behind me, completely ignoring that I had just successfully knocked over everything on it and exhaled deeply. >>My God you scared me. Can’t you come into a shop like a normal person? << I grumbled at my neighbour and raked my hand through my hair. However, it didn’t seem to interest the black haired guy in any way that he had just almost given me a heart attack, because he came running towards the counter with quick steps and almost threw himself over it to reach for my wrists. A little surprised by the sudden contact I stiffened briefly, but he didn’t even seem to notice that. >>Y/n...I have a problem. A very big problem even. << Almost automatically my eyes wandered to his crotch. So either his problem wasn’t as big as he said or his sweatpants did an extremely good job of hiding it. I felt the heat rising into my cheeks as he put his hand on my cheek and gently stroked it. >>It’s really important that you help me with this, ok? << he spoke now as his eyes wandered over my face. However, his tone of voice irritated me a little. If he really wanted me to suck his dick, he should stop beating around the bush about it.

A snap in front of my face brought me back to reality. I felt my face take on the colour of an overripe tomato. >>I have no time for your thirsty ass because my ass is thirty too. << he exclaimed not making the situation any clearer for my brain. >>For Banana milk! <<< he groaned at me, this time visibly tense. Either he could read my mind or I had just undressed him with my eyes. Since I strongly doubted the former, I had to be satisfied with the latter. Much to my embarrassment. At that moment I wished for nothing more than the ground to open up and devour me. I would even prefer the zombie apocalypse. I would even voluntarily throw myself into Zombietrumps arms and present myself as a willing victim to get out of this embarrassment. A little confused, I blinked at him, while Jungkook moved from one leg to the other. >>Do you still have any in stock or not? << he asked with a little more emphasis and nodded his head towards the fridges. >>What do we still have in stock? << I asked more confused than before and looked at him like a deer in the headlight. >>Banana milk! << he almost yelled now, leaning over the counter even further, if at all possible. In the meantime he had placed his hands on the counter top to support himself a little further while his face was hovering a few centimeters in front of mine, his eyes looking at me insistently.>>Please Y/n...<< his voice was now nothing more than a pleading whisper. With big eyes he looked at me. Under normal circumstances, I would now ask the customer to keep a little more distance, but under my neighbour’s intense stare I couldn’t get a single useful word out. For a few seconds we just stared at each other, while I, for my part, tried to reconnect my tongue to my brain, and him obviously waiting for an answer. Just as I was about to open my mouth again to tell him that if there wasn’t any left the fridge I would have to look in the stockroom, since my brain was thank god already that far, the bell above the shop door distracted me again. Jungkook didn’t move an inch when I tried to look past his extremely muscular, broad form. >>Y/n? << a voice I knew all too well called out. >>Are you there? << I looked back at the black haired one in front of me, who still stared me down with an unaltered forceful gaze. Steps echoed through the store and approached the counter. >>Jimin? << I asked mentally thanking my brain for re- establishing the connection to my vocal chords in time. I was given a relieved breath as an answer. When he finally appeared in my field of vision he stopped abruptly. >>Do you know him Y/n? Is he bothering you? << my fellow student asked anxiously and came a little closer. Typically Jimin.

I had met him during one of my lectures. At that time we had sat next to each other for almost half a year, but none of us had made any attempts to start a conversation. Until the day I had fallen asleep on the table completely knocked out. The two nights before that had been spent with studying only so I had been running exclusively on coffee. Apparently I had complained in my sleep about the curriculum. Jimin, the angel he was, had fortunately woken me up before more people around us could hear my ramblings.

How it became us suddenly going out for a coffee every day after university and then spending the afternoons or evenings together, I hadn't quite figured out yet. Regardless, because I liked him I didn’t worry too much about the how. At some point he had started to visit me at night on my shifts, after he had found out about my job. Most of the times he payed me a visit we used the time to learn together or just to talk a little.

I just pieced together an answer as Jungkook cut me off this time. He whirled around and looked at the blonde. >>No Hyung! Nothing is ok! I have a serious problem! For days I haven't been doing anything else than learning and now the worst of all emergencies has happened: << he took a short break and inhaled deeply. >>I don’t have Banana milk anymore! How am I supposed to study now? << Now I was completely confused >>Wait...you know each other? << I asked no one in particular. Jimin nodded before he looked at Jungkook urgently. >>When was the last time you slept? << he asked, honest worry etched into his features. Jungkook looked at him as if the older one had just suggested a Threesome on the counter. I wouldn’t say no to that, since both men looked extremely good even though it would take a little bit of convincing. >>Is it important when I slept the last time? << he avoided the question. >>I currently have a much bigger problem. I. Don’t. Have. Any. Banana. Milk. Left. << he said and spoke each word accentuated slowly.

Jungkook turned back to me. By now he was looking like he was about to have a nervous breakdown. Jimin’s face, on the other hand, showed a mixture of deep concern and pure amusement. At least he looked exactly like I felt inside. >>I’d have to go to the storeroom to see if we still have any left. << I finally said what I had been trying to say for a good few minutes now. >>Were there no more on the back shelf? << I asked the standard question. Although I was very aware of the fact that he probably wouldn’t be standing here in front of me, begging to get the milk if it was still on the shelf, it was just a habitual question. Now Jungkook looked at me as if I had just told him that I liked Jimin’s unspoken orgy idea.

Looking for help he turned to Jimin who was too busy trying not to laugh. >>Don’t you think I would have disappeared into my study hell long ago if I had found some in that damn refrigerated shelf? << he groaned quite desperately. I bit my lower lip to stifle a smile and shook my head. >>Y/n...please...it’s really important. Otherwise I can’t continue studying and if I don’t study then I fail and if I fail my parents are incredibly disappointed in me because they would have expected something better and if my parents are disappointed in me I don’t know what to do anymore and... << His flood of words was interrupted by Jimin looking at him with his eyebrow raised. >>Now take it down a notch, Kook. You act as if the whole world is going down because of your banana milk. << He only got a sulking Jungkook as an answer. I just nodded silently and quickly disappeared to the back of the store.

In the storeroom I shook my head laughing. He probably just exaggerated the situation. It was a bit amusing what some finals could make out of us poor students.

I quickly managed to find what I was looking for, finishing the trip to the storage room. With the desired milk on my arm I went back to the sales room. Jungkook was running restlessly up and down in the counter area, while Jimin sat relaxed on the counter top typing on his mobile phone. I decided to let my stressed neighbour fidget a little longer and hid behind one of the shelves. A few seconds passed in which Jungkook continued to run up and down until Jimin was fed up with it. >>You look like you’re about to have a complete breakdown and your last resort is this stupid banana milk. << he deadpanned and looked at the black-haired guy over his phone. Jungkook glared at the blonde. >>That’s easy for you to say. I know you’ve already finished your finals. But maybe I should ask Y/n what you look like when you’re close to  them. << he snapped at the older one and I bit my lower lip to avoid giggling. Jungkook wasn't completely wrong. Jimin could look a lot worse when we were close to the finals. To be honest, I’ve never seen a person who could be so stressed over a test like Jimin was. Well, except Jungkook. >>Where do you know each other from? << Jungkook asked changing the subject. He dropped himself cross-legged to the ground. Apparently he had given up trying to demolish the floor. Jimin shrugged. >>She sits next to me in my main lectures. At some point she fell asleep on the table and complained very energetically about the subject matter. I finally woke her up before the whole course heard her tirade of abuse. << Jungkook chuckled quietly. >>And you? << Jimin asked him the counter question. Jungkook leaned back, supporting his weight on his hands. I was able to see his biceps flexing under the short sleeves of his shirt. >>She is my neighbour. << he answered briefly. The only thing that made it clear that the young man was still under tension was his restlessly wobbly leg and his eyes that were continuously darting in the direction I had disappeared before. >>How long does it take her to find this damn milk? << he grumbled, now and stretched out a little hoping to get a better look through the open storage room door. Again Jimin shrugged. >>When was the last time you had sex? << The blonde suddenly asked bluntly. Jungkook looked at him completely stunned and also caught me off guard with the question. Jimin meant his question completely seriously, since no mockery could be found in his voice. Almost synchronously both Jungkook and I raised an eyebrow. >>Honestly, sex is my least concern at the moment. If you haven’t noticed yet, I’ll write my finals next week, haven’t slept for 3 days and live on banana milk and coffee. << Now Jimin also raised an eyebrow. >>As long as you don’t pour the milk into the coffee. << My neighbour remained suspiciously silent for a few seconds. >>Why do you even ask that so bluntly? << he asked after a few seconds and looked critically at Jimin, who only gave a slight chuckle. >>Forgot that I'm a med student? Sex helps to reduce stress and helps to relax. You need both badly. You could also masturbate, because what counts in the end is the orgasm. << The blonde took a dramatic break. Jungkook looked at him a little disparagingly. I, on the other hand, couldn’t resist a grin. It was so incredibly typical for Jimin to come up with ideas like that, even if he was not wrong this time. The endorphins the body released during orgasm really helped with stress relief and relaxation. Jimin continued carefree despite my neighbour being visibly unhappy about the topic. >>But it’s more fun with two people. << he finished and wiggled his eyebrows, a shit-eating grin on his face. My neighbour snorted unamused before reaching into the shelf behind him and threw the first thing he could reach for at Jimin, in this case a chewing gum container. The blonde man caught it with playful ease.

>>I would prefer it if the goods would not get wings. << I finally revealed myself, while it cost me some serious self-control not to laugh out loud. The incredibly annoyed expression on my neighbour’s face turned into a wide beam when he saw the boxes in my arms. >>Before anything breaks here. << I finished my statement and put the boxes on the counter next to Jimin. >>Is that enough? << I turned back to Jungkook who jumped up nodding gleefully. >>You are the best Y/n! << he exclaimed cheerfully and embraced me impetuously. Since I hadn’t expected it, I stiffened reflexively briefly, which he didn’t seem to notice in his euphoria. I couldn’t resist a smile as I wrapped my arms around his narrow waist to return the hug. However, he seemed to see it as a kind of invitation to wrap his arms a little tighter around my form, which only elicited a suffocated sound from me. Classic case of underestimating one’s own strength. A squeak escaped my throat as he suddenly lifted me up just to hug me tighter. A quiet giggle echoed from the counter, which could also have come from me, if my neighbour wasn’t busy squeezing any air left out of my lungs. I had never experienced so much enthusiasm about a few bottles of banana milk.

Instead of just putting me back on the ground, he still kept me firmly pressed against his body. Meanwhile I had put my hands on his upper arms to stabilize myself a little. I could feel his muscles tense under the fabric of his T-shirt. It had not remained hidden to me that the young man was 80% pure muscle, since I had met him too often in the morning, when he was on his way to the gym and I was on the way to my flat. Besides, I really wasn’t blind. Although, feeling the muscles under my fingers was certainly not an unwelcomed experience. >>Thank you! Thank you Y/n. You're saving my finals. << he said. If we were now in one of these cheesy romances he would kiss me now. Also something I wouldn’t complain about. But we weren’t. I became painfully aware of this when he put me back on the floor and pulled his wallet out of his pocket. A little disappointed inside, I went back behind the counter and pushed Jimin, who sulked at me, down without further ado. >>This isn’t a seat you dingus. << I said drily and let the black haired man pay for his banana milk.

Suddenly a strange silence laid over us. We looked at each other a little awkwardly while Jungkook grabbed his boxes. >>I’ll go then...<< he mumbled into the silence and nodded giving us a friendly smile before he left. >>Don’t forget what I told you earlier. << Jimin called after him causing the younger one to turn around. The blonde pressed his tongue against the inside of his cheek and made the corresponding hand movement. Jungkook shook his head snorting before he disappeared through the door with a loving >>Fuck you Park! << . Bewildered I looked at my friend and hit him on the arm. >>Not everyone is such a fucking nymphomaniac like you! << I exclaimed outraged and made Jimin burst out laughing. Rolling his eyes, I brought the chewing gum container back to its place, while in the meantime, still giggling quietly, he was roaming through the shop and grabbing some snacks from the shelves. >>I just desperately hope he doesn’t really pour the milk into his coffee. << he said when he came back to me. I shrugged and scanned the things he had put on the counter. >>I don’t think we’ll ever know. << Jimin laughed quietly as I pushed the card reader over to him. >>But during the finals your brain is totally strained, so I wouldn’t be surprised. I don’t have to remind you what you do when you’re stressed, do I? << I teased him a little. The blonde just grumbled as he took the bags. >>See you tomorrow? << he asked before turning to leave. I nodded approvingly. He said goodbye and with that I was alone again. Grinning I looked at the clock. Shortly before 4. I sighed quietly and let myself fall again on my stool behind the heated counter. At least I could still use the last hours for studying.

[muellercorn]

Basically I Love Taylor Swift

Heyo I want to talk about how important of a figure Taylor Swift has been in my life since 2006. In 2015 I attended my firstTaylor concert (and my only to date) so now that we are on the verge of a new era (and hopefully tour) I've started saving to try to attend a concert soon. Therefore, I eventually feel ready to talk about my experience of attending the 1989 world tour at Hyde Park. This is a story I never even spoke about with friends because I was so desperate to attend a concert for so long that I was ashamed and embarrassed to admit what happened when I attended.

I've been a Taylor Swift fan since day one, I was 6 years old and just completely in awe. So after 9 years of dreaming and wishing I was seeing Taylor live and I could not have been more excited. My parents and I travelled down to London from our home in the North East of England, checked into our hotel then headed towards Hyde Park. Crossing over the road to Hyde Park my vision suddenly went to black and in a split second I'd completely disassociated from everything around me. You see, at age 6 I'd founded my love for TS, but I'd also been put in therapy for what would remain undiagnosed for 11 years but later be named as Emetophobia, OCD, anxiety among a few more. At age 15 I was absolutely no stranger to panic attacks, I'd had several a week since I was 6, however this was only my second time ever disassociating and by far the worst. As we got to Hyde Park I immediately needed to sit down, it started with a panic attack that I felt too tired to have. I couldn't accept that the world around me was real, I wouldn't let my parents touch me as I kept thinking and shouting that I didn't know who they were and they didn't seem like my parents. I just froze on a bench afraid to move for the fear that I'd black out. I just wanted to go back to my hotel, I begged and begged, I was willing to completely abandon my dream of seeing Taylor live. I was getting laughed at and mocked by passers by and I was just done. My parents however were not, although it felt like torture at the time they stayed with me and helped calm me down for at least 2 hours (if not more) because they knew I'd be heart broken if I missed the concert.

So eventually I got myself through the gates, got my light up wrist band and found a spot on the field. Literally just in time for Taylor coming on stage. I still wasn't all with 'there' mentally, but physically I'd made it. Obviously by this time I was right at the back of the field and I couldn't cope with trying to get amongst the crowd anyway, but I couldn't have cared less. I always denied it to others and said our train got there late and we couldn't get to the front, but at the time I was just happy to get to see my idol. I was having anxiety attacks every few minutes and my parents had sworn this was the last concert they'd take me to (and I haven't had the confidence to go to one since). A few months prior they'd decided to stop taking me to the theatre (my other great love) because despite my adoration for the arts, the anxiety the situation caused, resulted in me walking out and wasting a lot of money. All I know is if it weren't for how much Taylor inspired me that night, I would have given up on myself and denied myself so many opportunities and so much happiness in the future.

The concert is a blur to me, the best night of my life, but a blur. However, I have one incredibly distinct clear memory - listening to the speech before Clean, my favourite song from 1989. I'd watched previous speeches on YouTube so as soon as I heard the first few words I knew what was coming, but nothing could have prepared me. Taylor talked about how we were all going through our own anxieties, worries and hard times, but right now we were in awesome outfits and having the best night of our lives. The tears started to flow and it felt so surreal and magical it felt as if I was standing by myself in Hyde Park, just me and Taylor and she was giving me personalised life advice. Then I realised that despite the fact I had never met a single person in that crowd, we were all connected, we all had similar hearts and minds, and as Taylor said in hard times we all turn to music to get through. I cried my eyes out at this moment, I needed to hear what Taylor had to say and more over I needed to feel that inspired and moved.

That moment I decided to not give up on myself, to keep going, to return to a Taylor Swift concert when fates would allow. What made this moment even more special was that I knew it came directly from Taylor's heart, this wasn't the same speech that she'd given at the previous concert or the concert before there were ad-libs that came from raw emotion and passion and it was beautiful. I will never forget how I felt during this and the feeling I felt walking back to my hotel, hope that I hadn't felt in years and I'm so grateful. This is why I've loved Taylor for 13 years. She writes music that matters, that really really matters. This isn't music to make money it's art to heal, to comfort and to provide company.

I can not wait for this new era and to (hopefully) see Taylor Swift live again! It feels like she's written her song specifically for you each lyric related to the human condition at its core and that truly is enchanting. My battle with mental illness still goes on, I'm frightened at the thought of going to another concert, however there's nothing I'm more excited for right now than the idea of seeing Taylor perform live again, I trust her, I trust that the wisdom she'll bestow on me that night will make any prior anxiety completely worth it and will be laid to rest. I'm so grateful and beyond excited for this next era, music is my salvation and I'm ready for my soul to be nourished.

@taylorswift @taylornation

[virgofabreakdown]

Chapter One - Double Lives AU

Prologue | Next Chapter

One Year Later

Patton's POV

Blackberry Cafe 2:30 PM

"Virgil, where are the rest of the cookies from this batch?"

"What do you mean?" Virgil shouted from the bathroom. "That's all of the ones from that batch."

"What do you mean that's all the cookies from that batch?! The recipe makes over 30 cookies, but there's only 2!"

"I just sampled some of the cookie dough!"

"Some?"

"Most of the cookie dough..."

"For the love, Virgil. Why?" Ding! The bell at the front of the store rang across the store.

"Hello, welcome to Blackberry Cafe. Can I help you - oh, hi Roman!"

"Hey Pat, can I get the usual?"

Virgil came out of the back, "depends, are you gonna pay this time?"

"Probably not," he admits. I package up two cookies and three scones and hand them to him.

"Two chocolate chip cookies and three rosemary ham and cheese scones, on the house!"

"Patton, no," Virgil sighs. "I was trying to get him to pay for once. He can't just always get free food."

"That's just the perks of having an little brother who owns a cafe," Roman states with a wink.

"Plus, if I didn't give it to him, he probably wouldn't eat until dinner."

"Well maybe that would teach him to pack a lunch," Virgil reasoned. "Or better yet, actually pay."

"But he's hungry..." I pout at him for a minute before Roman cleared his throat.

"So, guys, me and Logan are going on a date tonight, if you guys are interested in joining us...?" Virgil looks at me. "It's up to you guys, of course, you don't have to, if you don't want to."

He trailed off, looking at the two of us. I shrugged, "I have work off tonight, so it shouldn't be a problem for me. What do you think Virg?"

"I don't think I have work. Sure, why not," Virgil looked at me with a smile. "We could use a date night anyway."

Roman gave us a big smile. "So, we've got a reservation for nine, so let's plan to meet up at my place around...eight, eight thirty?"

"Wait, you were planning on us coming?" Virgil sighed in frustration over the fact that his brother made the reservation without knowing if they could come. "Let's do eight, just to be on the safe side."

"Awesome," Roman said, walking towards the door. "See you later, then?"

"See you later!" I shout, waving to him.

"I can't believe he didn't ask us first! What if we couldn't have made it?"

"Then they would have a slightly bigger table," I say. Virgil looked very worked up. "It's fine."

"Yeah, but still."

"Now," I say, placing a hand on my hip. "Mind sharing why exactly you ate almost an entire batch of cookie dough?"

Time Skip

The Black-Berry Residence 7:30 PM

"Hey Virg? What do you think of this tie?" I shout across the apartment.

"I don't know, it would be a lot easier to tell if you weren't on the other side of the house." He sounded stressed.

I walk out of our bedroom into the living room and do a little twirl. "How do I look?"

Virgil seemed to be at a lack for words. "You look great," Virgil admitted. I wasn't wearing much, just some slacks and a loose blouse. I added a small blue bow to match my shirt. It was slightly fancier than my usual attire, but Virgil seemed to like it. We stared at each other for a moment. Nothing was said, but a comfortable silence filled the air. And then my phone rang. It pierced through the air with a certain, yet annoying ring.

I sighed, "one second." I picked up the phone.

"Hello?"

"Hey, we need you to come in." I walked back into bedroom.

"I'm sorry, what?!"

"Look, I'm sorry, sir, but we need you to come in."

"No way, it's date night!" I protest. "I've got plans. Call someone else in."

"It is imperative that you come in to work," the man on the other end insisted.

"What could be so important that you need me too come in on my one day off," I demanded. "I mean, honestly, it's bad enough that -"

"Dracowitch. We have a lead on Dracowitch."

"Draco -" I shout, before lowering my voice. "Dracowitch? But how? He's been off the radar for months now."

"Which is why you need to come in. You are the best man we have."

I sighed, "fine. You better be paying overtime for this."

"Once the job is done, we will. But you must get here as soon as possible."

"I'll be there."

"Good. Farewell, and may you be fruitful."

"As to help the company grow," I say, finishing our company motto, before hanging up. Walking back into the living room, "so bad news," I look at Virgil, who had just hung up a from his own phone call. "Oh, who was that?"

"What, oh, I was just on the phone with Roman. So, what were you saying?"

"Oh, yeah. Unfortunately, I just got called into work. They need someone at the shelter for a few hours. Something about someone being delayed at the airport...? I don't know. All I know, is that I have to go to work because no one else answered the call." I felt bad lying to Virg, but I couldn't just tell him the truth. Honestly, I wanted to tell him the truth, I really did, but it was against the rules and could put him in danger. If something were to happen to him because of me, I couldn't live with the guilt.

"Oh, that sucks," he says. "Honestly, I want looking forward to sitting in a fancy restaurant and paying 50 bucks for spaghetti, anyway."

He was trying to make me feel better about the whole situation, bless his heart. This is why I love him, he was willing to do anything to make me happy and that, I lived for. Virgil restores my faith in humanity, no matter what happens, he finds a way to cheer me up.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, it's fine. I'll call Roman back and explain. You go to work."

"Okay. Thank you." I head back into the bedroom for the third time that night to get changed. I get changed and grab my bag. "I love you," I say giving him a quick kiss.

"Love you, too. Now, go take care of those dogs like no one had taken care of them before!"

I giggle. "Be back in a few hours!" I say before closing the door.

Virgil's POV

Patton closed the door. I look out the window, watching for his car to leave. A blue Prius passes by the window. Correction, Patton's blue Prius passes by the window. I watch as it rounds the corner. Poor Patton. I knew he was looking forward to this. We hardly get to go on dates anymore.

I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket. Someone was calling me. Again. The first time was Roman and now it was, I look at the caller ID, work. Of course, work always picks the worst times to call. I hesitate for a moment, before picking up.

"Hello?"

"Hey, you need come here, like right now," the person on the other line spoke quickly and sharply, while also sounding rather rushed.

"What? Why?"

"We got a lead on Dracowitch and they put Morality on it. You're his backup, so you need to get here."

"Are they sure it's Dracowitch?"

"Yep. And this is the only good lead we've had in weeks, if not months."

"Alright, I'll be there in about half an hour."

"I said now."

"That's the soonest I cam be there," I insist.

"You live approximately eight minutes away, therefore you will be here in ten minutes. This is more than enough time."

"Fine, I'll be there in a few."

"Be there in five. Farewell and help guide the path."

"To lead the company to greatness."

And with that, I grabbed the keys to my car, a dark blue Honda, and ran out the door. I hopped down the flight of stairs at the front door and popped the trunk. Taking out an extra shirt, I close the trunk and climb in the car.

I hate my job, I really do. If I had the choice to just stay home, I would, but the bakery doesn't bring in enough money. So, I work for the 'print shop' and Patton has been helping by working at the local animal shelter.

My real job most definitely pays well, but it's not something that I would openly tell people about. Even if it wouldn't result in me getting fired. I am...a hacker, in a way. The term that the company hired us under is 'Personal Guide'. Which was true, we do guide people, just not the disabled and elderly. Think more along the lines of hitmen and assassins.

Our job is simple. Aide our assigned partner through their missions by briefing them on the mission, hacking into the security of buildings, giving them directions, and letting them know if anyone was up ahead. Typical hacker things. Oh, and keeping track of their location, incase they need backup. Typically, your partner will need backup occasionally, four to five months is the company average. But I've never had to call backup. Maybe it's luck, but I'm almost certain it's not.

I believe it's my partner, rather than luck. He is literally the best assassin this company has. When they paired us up, everyone was curious as to why. Based on all the rumors flying around, this guy was a legend. No one truly understood why he had been paired with a newbie with no prior experience in anything related to computers or the company.

Until they saw us work together. We just clicked. I would have locked doors slide open as he approached them, as he responded with the witty pun that made me groan. In the middle of missions, we shared our stories about life outside of the company. We'd swap jokes and recipes, recommend restaurants for the other to try, we literally would just talk about anything. Morality, as he was called, was the only thing that made this horrible job worthwhile.

Our current target was an online personality by the name of Dracowitch. It seemed to be a German, or possibly Russian name, seeing as it was pronounced Draco-vitch. They've been untraceable, up until now.

I pull up to the print shop. Even though the store was a small local business, it seemed to be bustling with life. The lights were on and about half a dozen people were running around doing various things.

Taking a deep breath in, I walk inside and straight to the counter, where a man sat, attempting to hide the fact that he was watching cartoons with a book. I cleared my throat, before simply giving him a "hey."

"Ah, Mr. Black-Berry. I don't believe you have work tonight," the man said, pausing his show and closing his book.

"Got called in."

"I see, your husband must be mad."

"Doesn't know, he got called in too, so I left after he did."

"Be careful with that. Do it one too many times, you'll get accused of cheating. I did that once and she signed us up for therapy."

"Oh, how is the Mrs.?"

"She's fine. Been a bit better since therapy."

"That's good. Well, have a good night, Larry. Say hi to Dot for me!"

"Will do!" And with that he pressed a button under his desk. The door behind him slid open, revealing an elevator to the basement.

End of Chapter One.

@vaugleysassygrunt

[sometimesrosy]

For all this talk of Octavia being the bridge between Bellamy and Clarke (yes, she frequently was throughout every season), I'm really interested in whether or not 411 will parallel Clarke with Lincoln. Bellamy wanted to save Lincoln, even though Octavia chained him in the cave, so he couldn't help. What if Octavia has the power to save Clarke from grounders who want her executed for locking them out of the bunker? Would Octavia save his love for him with her newfound power if it came to it?

If they have Octavia replaying her greatest mistake, that set her down a dark path, which, considering the way they’ve been replaying mistakes this season and “fixing” them to have a better ending, then I think what we might see is an indication that Octavia is rising to hero status, also. Her actions have always been in supporting roles, I think? And when she tried to initiate changes in the way things were done in season 3, she failed. Like with the village she warned of the coming intent, which lead to Monroe’s death, and all out war on the sky people, which was the exact opposite of her intent. 

But this season, she’s warned Arkadia about the coming attack of the Azgeda, and it worked. Does that sound like a parallel to you? I’m not sure it’s exact but there are some similarities. There was another parallel when she tried to execute Ilian. She was paralleled to Pike, another person who let their vengeance take over their sense and turned to killing. Ilian was also a parallel there, echoing her loss and vengeance, so NOT killing him was a move that not only replayed one of her worst episodes from the other side, but also allowed her the chance to work through her pain and need for vengeance in ways that were not destructive. She could have gone down Pike’s road, she was headed there. But her choice to pull back saved not only Ilian, but also her soul and her people, and her life, because later on, Ilian saves her life at least twice over.

 I do kind of like the idea that if you  give your enemies all your hate, if they have such a strong place in your head, then you are in danger of actually BECOMING your enemy, and turning into them. They showed that with the near execution of Ilian, putting O in Pike’s place, and they are showing it with Clarke and her betrayal with the bunker. One of the dangers of trauma is that very often the victims internalize it, and then turn around and inflict that same pain onto others. This is where we get the cycle of abuse. 

That’s why it’s so good to see these character spiral back to their traumatic events and see them make different choices and break the chains of the abuse or betrayal or pain. They are ENDING the cycle.

As for Octavia replaying her story with Bellamy? I think it’s already begun. Okay. So, something clicked for Octavia when Bellamy told her to use who she was as the girl under the floor to win this fight. For the first time, she wasn’t rejecting the Ark (second time maybe, she said something similar in Arkadia when Kane wanted her to escape,) she was EMBRACING who it made her. And thus she was embracing her history, her people, her suffering, and her own strength and identity. She won the fight because she was a child of both the sky and the ground. She learned from both. And because she was a Blake. She remembered this.

I think the change in the Blake sibling story is happening now. When she tells Echo that she knows Bellamy is going to save her, and Echo is disbelieving, I think THIS is the transformation of last season, when no matter how she knew Bellamy and who he was and what he would do for her, she STILL had no faith in him, blamed him for everything wrong in the world, believed he was the villain and locked him up instead of trusting him and knowing who he was. 

I know a lot of people will accept nothing less than an apology to Bellamy for beating him, but my take on apologies is that they’re kind of weak. Talk is talk unless you show you’ve changed. I think I see the change happening in her, so I am optimistic. And I am concerned that this show does not see the beating as Octavia’s greatest sin against Bellamy, but rather her lack of faith in him. Octavia and Bellamy are both warriors, and I feel it means something different to the characters (and the story) than it does to the audience. Many of us are relating the beating to real life experiences, which is understandable. But some of those real life experiences do not translate into this toxic world that the characters live in. I am concerned that even if Octavia makes great changes, people won’t be satisfied unless they get one particular, exact line of dialogue. And I don’t think that’s guaranteed, even if they do redeem Octavia, because I don’t know if the writers see Octavia’s crime in the same light as the fandom.

I don’t know. I think a lot of people are mad at me because I do not automatically call Octavia an abuser and hate her for it. They feel like I was against the abuse in CL so I should be against this, but I’ve held my judgment of her off because I wanted to see where the story was going. But the Blake story did not hit my buttons the way CL did. And I saw Octavia struggling with her actions. I was waiting for L to have a change of heart and make amends for what she did, but I never saw it happening. Therefore, she was never redeemed for me. It didn’t mean I didn’t give her the chance. I see Octavia making amends. She doesn’t always STAY in a positive place, but she keeps coming back to it and it looks to me that she IS making amends. I think Octavia is earning a redemption that L never did. Some people think what L did was enough, but it never was for me. 

Let me watch the last three episodes and I’ll tell you if I think she has earned her redemption. Redemption isn’t forgiveness. Forgiveness comes from the victim. THEY can forgive, it doesn’t mean you are redeemed. Redemption comes from the person who committed the sin. To be redeemed, you have to change. Is Octavia changing enough? I guess that’s up to each of us to decide for ourselves.