#and there's no reason to worship your love because it's just 'casual'??!!
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saudebazi · 1 year ago
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#this girl was joking about another girl in my batch fasting on karvachauth for her boyfriend and it was the light jokes so it was okay#but then she said why is she doing it her caste is completely different from his her parents would kill her#and that how college relationships are only for time being until you're in college and you're there for each other's support#and that nothing in college couples is that serious and they may turn out just good friends in future#and there's no reason to worship your love because it's just 'casual'??!!#ive so many feelings and a little heartbreak#ive already tried thinking about future but you know it 2ould just spiral me and thinking tha ahead doesn't make sense know#logically speaking she's right that we can go through SO MANY changes during the college years and no one knows anything ahead#but idk like i love him its not just oh im in college and ive got a boyfriend to get my nights busier and go on silly pretend dates#i didn't date anyone for nineteen years because i just wouldn't date anyone#its just surprising me as well how i came here so clueless and how everything led to each other and then into us#and i don't say stuff like marriage and kids because that's too huge. just too huge right now to think off#and that's also a way of keeping myself humble#and i would love love love to think about a future too not just yet it's too quick and im okay understanding everything rather than diving#but what she said. is so um its messing with my brain#ofc im not letting it over weigh me not at least from a person who's with multiple seniors#sends all her money to her so called youtuber bf#and goes to private places with some other guy#who's in everything for casual#but i don't know what im supposed to do with it right now#playing around my head#or maybe i should just trust the process
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changbunnies · 7 months ago
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Lowkey, I Need You (To Move Out) 18+
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♡ Pairing: Changbin x Fem!Reader
♡ Genre: friends with benefits, friends to lovers, roommates to lovers, angst, fluff, smut with plot, mutual pining but especially lots of pining from binnie
♡ Word Count: 12k
♡ Summary: Changbin has a problem– he’s in love with his friend with benefits. And not only is he in love with her, but she’s also his roommate. Torn on what to do, the only thing he knows for certain is that something has to change soon– but is he even brave enough to spark that change, and risk their friendship?
♡ Warnings: miscommunication, but it's resolved quickly!, bin is lil insecure but we're here to make it better !!, gets a bit emotional because truly this is a love letter to changbin and how much i adore him
♡ Smut Warnings: multiple smut scenes, switch!bin with a heavy sub lean, as usual changbin is an extremely soft and perfect lover, pet names (baby, bun, bunny, honey, sweet + good boy), oral (m + f rec), fingering (f rec), nipple play, begging, a tiny bit of edging, spit as lube, cock warming, unprotected piv, creampie, praise kink, body worship, face sitting
♡ Notes: this was written in response to the topic of binnie being excluded, because as a bin biased girlie it's my job to show out for him when he needs the extra love! i've been wanting to write a fwb for SO long and in true changbunnies fashion this turned out longer than i intended it to be but i just had so much fun writing it and giving binnie the attention he deserves, so i hope you enjoy it too !!
♡ Disclaimer: please read responsibly, and remember that this work is fiction and meant strictly for imaginative fun. the idols used in fics are more accurately faceclaims and personality outlines for imaginary characters, and should not be interpreted as factual representations of existing people.
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What do you do when you realize you've fallen in love with your friend with benefits? And what do you do when said friend is also your roommate? The conclusion that Changbin has reached is simple: spiral.
Well, not that spiraling is an actual choice in this scenario– he can't stop it from happening despite how desperately he wants to. He knows you aren't looking for a relationship right now, that you like what you have together because it's casual and fun.
You swore off dating apps and relationships after having your heart broken one too many times, and the only reason you're friends with benefits with Changbin is because you trust him– a trust that he is loath to break by dropping the revelation that he's fallen in love with you.
You were away from your shared apartment for the past week and a half, on a trip back to your home town to visit family. It was exhausting, but fun enough when your parents weren't driving you up the wall by pestering you with questions about when you're going to start bringing a boyfriend back home with you, you told Changbin on the phone last night whilst packing to come back to the city.
He hated the way his heart sank to the pit of his stomach when he considered the fact that he'll never be the boyfriend going home with you to meet your family. And he wants to be, fucking hell, does he want to be yours.
He wants to tell you he loves you and have it mean something more than the platonic love between friends, to take you on dates and freely hold your hand when walking through the city streets together, to share a bed with you for more than just a fuck.
How many times has he wanted to pull you back to him when you start to get up from his bed? To reach out and beg you to stay when you start to get dressed? To knock on your door late at night and lay everything out on the line because the way it keeps him up at night is becoming unbearable?
Fuck, he can't keep dwelling on it– you've been on your way home since this morning, and you're due back any minute now. It'll be disastrous for Changbin if you walk through the door and realize something's off with him.
His heart twisted when he checked his phone and saw a new text, one excitedly telling him you're almost home and that you've missed him– but was it really him you missed, or just fucking him? He didn't know anymore, and he was afraid to find out.
Changbin jumps when he hears the lock to the front door click, taking a breath to calm his racing heart as he rises to his feet to help you with your luggage and welcome you back home. 
He’s spent enough time spiraling over what to do this past week, he can’t afford to anymore; not if he wants to keep his sanity intact, anyways. He can do this– once you get settled, he can have a heart to heart with you, and everything will be fine. Even if it’s too much to confess his feelings, surely there’s a way to go about things where you’re both still happy, right?
Changbin did a lot around the apartment to make it perfect for you upon your return– cleaned and dusted every common room until they were spotless, made sure not a single dirty dish was left in the sink, emptied every trash can.. He even unclogged the drains and scrubbed the tub! He just wanted to make sure you didn’t have a single thing to do, that you could just relax and unwind in clean comfort after your trip. 
But you don’t spare a single glance around the apartment once you enter– you look just at him, smiling as you kick the door closed behind you, and drop your luggage to the floor to squeeze him into a hug. 
He blinks a moment in surprise at how quick the action is– he didn’t even have the chance to get a word out before you were on him. Still, he quickly returns the hug while trying his best to prevent the happy, almost relieved sigh you let out as you bury your head into his chest from giving him false hope.
��You really missed me this much?” Changbin asks with a small giggle– why is he even asking? So much for not giving himself false hope. He just blurted it out without thinking, really; but he can’t pretend the way you affirm it doesn’t make his heart swell. 
It was the longest you’d ever been apart from Changbin since moving in together, and it put a lot of things into perspective. Like, you really did miss him, of course you did, he’s your friend! But there was something more– you don’t think you’d ever missed someone so fucking badly before. 
Like, staying up all night because you can’t stop thinking about him type of ‘I miss you.’ Wanting to text him or call him at all hours of the day just to check up on him and ask what he’s been up to even though you’re supposed to be focusing on your family and reuniting with childhood friends.
You missed everything about him– his smile and cute laugh, the way he smells, his big arms wrapped around you and squeezing you close. You wanted to hear his voice again, and not through the grainy speaker of your phone, wanted to see him without your parent’s shitty old wifi connection lagging your call, and making him pixelated and blurry.
Changbin is your home, you realized; wherever he is is where you want to be. As long as he’s there, you’d have everything you need to be happy. Is that too sentimental of a feeling for just friends?
Yes, you know it is– and every time you felt it for him before, you shoved it down as deep you could, not ready to get your heart broken again just yet. Better to hold onto him for as long as you can, before he cuts things off to start dating again.
But of course, you can’t deny you also missed him in other, less than innocent ways. The squeak he lets out when you surprise him with a kiss, the cute way he blushes and giggles when you compliment him or call him his favorite pet name, the way he’ll easily drop to his knees for you the moment you tell him you need him. 
He never cares what he’s in the middle of or what he needs to get done– if you tell him you want him, he’s ready for you, eager to please. Even if he loses sleep, if it makes him late for work, if it means the food on the stove is going to burn– none of it matters if you need his tongue on you. And you’ll reward him, you always do; with sweet words and touches that makes his heart feel like it’s going to beat out of his chest while his cock throbs.
“Missed you more than you know,” you say in a near whisper, pressing your lips to his like you’ve been eager to do since walking through the door. Changbin practically melts when you kiss him, as always; he just can’t help it– he’s forever going to be putty in your hands. 
Was he right in his fear that you only missed him for the sex? Maybe, but he can’t even dwell on the idea anymore– not when the urgency in which you start touching him underneath his shirt while sliding your tongue in his mouth makes him weak at the knees.
Fuck it, maybe that is all you want him for these days, but he’d never stop giving you what you want. Use him over and over, run his heart into the ground when it’s done, what does it matter? At least in this moment he’s yours, even if it’s only temporary. 
You grab Changbin by the waist and turn him around, pressing his back against the front door to the apartment. One of his feet very nearly gets caught up on your luggage on one of his steps back, but you kick it to the side, away from the two of you. His sound of surprise is muffled by your mouth on his, as is his gasp when your hands travel up to squeeze his pecs.
You can feel his body shudder when your thumbs brush over his nipples, letting out a whine when you pinch them between your fingers. He’s breathless by the time you pull away, watching you with that eager look in his eyes that makes you crazy for him. “B-Baby, what are you-” he tries to ask as you fall to your knees, though the last word dies in his throat when you look back up at him with a smile. 
He still remembers the first time he slipped up and called you “baby.” You were on top of him, riding him so good that all he could do was babble on and on about how good it felt while gripping the bed sheets beneath him. “S-So good, oh my god, baby, it’s– you’re so good, feels so good,” he whimpered, whining loudly when you stopped moving to just look at him.
Changbin was going to ask why you stopped, beg you to please, please keep going, but then it hit him all at once– he called you ‘baby’ when it was never something either of you had done before. And instantly, he looked up at you utterly mortified with himself, ready to apologize over and over again for crossing the line in your friends with benefits relationship.
While the arrangement didn’t come with strict rules, such as no kissing for example, he still was concerned that it was a touch too far in the ‘romantic relationship’ direction. But to his surprise, and relief, you smiled at him, calling him sweet names in return after picking your pace back up. You continued to try out names, gauging his reaction carefully until you found the one that seemed to make him react the most.
And now here you are, looking up at him with his cock pulled out of his sweatpants and throbbing in your hands, calling him the name that turns his brain and body to jelly. “Want to show you how badly I missed you, bunny,” you told him before pressing a lingering kiss to his already leaking tip, his pre-cum smearing over your lips.
Thank fucking God you pressed him against the door, because if he didn’t have the support he’s pretty sure his legs would’ve given out. It’s not often that you’re the one on your knees for him, and the sight is so erotic it makes his brain feel like it’s going to melt out of his ears– not to mention the way you’re talking to him on top of it.
“So hard and leaky already,” you comment gleefully, sticking out your tongue to lick over his tip, “you missed me too, didn’t you, bun?” 
“Y-Yeah, missed you, I missed you so much,” Changbin replies breathlessly, struggling to keep his hips still and not rut against your hands. He bites his lip, restraining the whimpers that threaten to endlessly spill when you open your mouth to take him in.
You don’t waste any time getting the corners of your mouth used to the stretch, or for Changbin to get used to the feeling after having gone without it for so long; you take him all at once, until his tip is touching the back of your throat and your nose is pressed against his pelvis. 
His head falls back against the door as he squeezes his eyes shut, slapping his hand over his mouth to muffle the obscenely loud moan you draw out of him. Normally he pays no mind to his volume because he knows you prefer him loud, but he’d be beyond embarrassed if any neighbors walking the hall heard him just on the other side of the door. 
You swallow around his length, and it takes effort to not gag given how thick and heavy he is, but you manage just fine. Breathing through your nose, you stroke his cock with your tongue whenever you need to give your throat a tiny break, sometimes pulling back to take a bigger breath and let more air into your lungs before sucking him into your mouth again. 
Changbin cards his fingers through your hair, but doesn’t pull– just holds your head in an effort to ground himself. His thighs are trembling, and he’s seemingly given up on trying to be quiet, or is simply too far gone to care anymore, the hand he was using to cover his mouth now clenched into a fist at his side.
“W-Wait, wait, baby, please wait, don’t wanna cum yet,” he pleads as his stomach clenches, the twitching and throbbing of his cock growing more in intensity. He’s lifted his head from the door, looking down at you now and meeting your gaze as you blatantly ignore his request and continue to swallow him down your throat.
“Please, please, your pussy– want your pussy, honey, please,” he tries again, chest heaving as he begs, the fingers threaded through your hair now clenching into a fist as well, but still, he doesn’t pull you off him. That’s one of the things you like most about Changbin– he’s so strong that it’d be easy for him to make you do whatever he wants, but he doesn’t. 
Even now, as desperate as he is to be inside your pussy, he’s obedient, first and foremost. How can you resist giving him what he wants when he’s so sweet, perfect and well behaved? You pull off him with a loud ‘pop,’ watching the way his cock throbs pathetically against his stomach as his impending orgasm begins to ebb away.
You expect him to take a longer moment to recover, but even with how breathless he is, he’s leaning down to pick you up from the floor. You can’t help but let out a squeal as you’re lifted from the ground– you know very well that Changbin is strong, but it always surprises you how effortlessly he can lift your weight. Excites you too, if you’re being completely honest. 
He has you in a full princess carry, one arm supporting your back while the other is under your knees. You know he won’t drop you, but you wrap your arms around his neck anyway for the extra security. He shows his appreciation for you with so many kisses over your face that you can’t help but giggle, and he holds you tighter when his kisses cause you to squirm in his grasp.
“Don’t tickle me with kisses when I can’t escape you,” you half-heartedly complain, and he giggles with you, pressing one more to your nose before he starts walking away from the front door. “We’re going to your room,” he informs you, figuring that’s where you’d prefer to me after having been away from home. 
Your luggage lies forgotten on the floor as he makes his way past the open kitchen and living room, and into the hallway leading to your rooms. Standing in front of your door, you lean in his grasp to twist the door knob, and he gently nudges the door open further with his foot. Your bedroom is just how you left it a week and a half ago, and Changbin sets you down on your bed carefully.
“Are you going to undress yourself for me?” you ask with an expectant tilt of your head, and he blushes ever so slightly as he shyly giggles and nods. It never fails to make him a little shy when you watch him undress like this, but he also takes pride in the way you look at him. Hungry, but somehow still tender and sweet. 
He starts with his sweatpants and underwear, considering his cock is still out from when you pulled them down just enough to get it out. Kicking his feet out once they’ve fallen to the floor, his shirt is next, and he very quickly pulls it up and over his head. “My baby,” you coo at him after beckoning him closer, and it makes his head spin. 
It’s the first time you’ve used a possessive term with him. Your baby.. Yes, whether you know it or not, he’s yours. Only yours. 
“You’re so handsome, you know that?” you continue, smiling when the pink on his flushed cheeks deepens, “And sexy, and adorable, and lovable.” You love complimenting him– even before you were friends with benefits, you’d tell him sweet things whenever you could. It took him a long time to grow into himself and get comfortable and confident in his own skin, and he deserves the pride and joy he feels now. 
Lovable is a new one, and he tries not to let it root itself inside his head– you certainly do love him, but just as a friend, he knows it. You’ve always been sweet to him, and he’s certain that your doting on him and sweet gestures increased only because of the slight change in your relationship, and no other reason. 
Regardless, does the reason matter? You’re complimenting him earnestly, and that’s enough. Even if it’s said without romantic intent, you do mean it– and that’s all he needs, really.
“Help me out with my own clothes now, won’t you, sweet boy?” you ask, and he gives you an excited nod that makes you giggle again. You lift your back off the bed so he can help you with your top and bra, then lift your legs so he can help you out of your pants and underwear when you let your back fall against the bed again. 
He kisses you the entire time he’s getting you out of your clothes, only breaking away when he has to. “Gonna get you ready for me,” he breathes out near the shell of your ear before planting a kiss there, and then trailing them down your neck. He slides his hand between your legs as he does, and you spread them apart for him to make his task easier for him. 
You both know you can handle the sting from his cock stretching you out, sometimes you even crave it– but you can never deny his desire to be sweet to you. If he wants to stretch you out on his fingers first, you’ll let him do it every time. 
“Oh, honey, you’re so wet,” he gasps as he runs his fingers between your folds. It shouldn’t be much of a surprise, really– you always get soaking wet when you and Changbin are being intimate. Still, it always surprises him as much as it did your first time together; he supposes there’s a part of him that still can’t believe you’re this physically attracted to him, even with how much you shower him with compliments. 
Of course, if you knew he had that thought, you’d shower him with even more of them, until there wasn’t a single doubt left in his mind. He’s perfect, truly; there’ll never be anyone who can compare to Changbin.
You don’t need him to start slow or careful, but he does regardless, starting by pressing just one of his fingers to your hole before sliding it inside. He knows you can take more at once, would even enjoy the sting that would follow, but he wants to be good to you! When you’re full of him, so thick that you’re full to the point it’s almost too much, he wants it to be pure bliss. 
Changbin pumps his finger in and out of you slowly, waiting until he’s certain you’re about to start whining for more before adding a second, and after just a little more he’s adding a third. He keeps his fingers still for just a moment, making sure you’re well adjusted before he starts to thrust them in and out in the way he knows you love.
And God, even though it’s you that’s getting fucked right now, he feels like he’s going a little crazy. He’s so addicted to the noises you make, the way your breathing starts to hitch and turn more shallow, how your eyes roll back when he hits that gummy spot inside you. You’re so fucking slick, and squeezing his fingers so tight that he can barely even think straight– not that he was entirely to begin with. 
Is it just because it’s been over a week since the last time you were together? He never thought himself so insatiable or easily worked up, but fuck, you just unlock something in him. He’s had sex plenty of times before you started sleeping together, had plenty of fun experiences with different partners, but only you make me feel so.. needy.
“Binnie, baby, want your cock now, give it to me, please,” you whine, voice impossibly pretty and breathless. “Ah but– are you sure, baby? Don’t want me to make you cum first?” he asks as he slows down the motion of his fingers. 
“We’ve both waited long enough, haven’t we?” you ask, rhetorical; it’s much more a statement than a question. You look at his cock, still leaking steadily and impossibly hard, and then look back to Changbin’s face. “Let’s cum together. That’s what I want,” you tell him, and you can’t help but notice the way his cock twitches from your words in your peripheral. 
Of course, he can’t resist doing whatever you want– especially not when there’s a promise to cum together at the end. So he slips his fingers out of you, and before he can even ask what you’d like him to do, you’re putting your hands on his shoulders and guiding him to his back. 
He falls to his back easily, swallowing as he watches you crawl on top of him. You’ve done it countless times at this point, but it never stops being sexy and exciting to watch. Your hands planted firmly on his chest, and your legs straddling his body, you move your hips back and forth, rubbing your pussy up and down his length to get it wet. 
His tip rubbing against your clit feels so fucking good too, but that’s not why you’re doing this; so you quickly move on before you get carried away and end up grinding on him until you cum. Reaching your hand between your bodies, you grab his cock at the base and angle it where you need it. 
Changbin watches with eager eyes and bated breath, his hands holding your hips for extra support. Even when you start to slowly sink down on him, and you’re both gasping and breathless from the pleasure, he’s careful to not squeeze you too hard. He’s always so tender and careful, even when doesn’t need to be, and you love him for it. 
And true to what he hoped, there’s no sting when you’re fully sat on him, the stretch nothing but pleasurable for you. Because of this, it also means you don’t have to start slow– and so within just a few short moments, you’re bouncing on him rapidly, leaning down to kiss him as you do. 
He has long since stopped being embarrassed about the noises you draw out of him, whimpering and moaning freely as the pleasure seeps into every pore of his body. Your tongue once again slips its way into his mouth, and he meets it eagerly with his own, happy to slide it around yours. 
Bouncing on his cock, and kissing him like this, he can’t help but be reminded of the very first time you slept together. You had just freshly agreed to the friends with benefits arrangement, both of you lonely and in need of some intimacy, but being done with relationships for the time for your own reasons. 
You took the lead, and it was the first time anyone ever had– he was so used to being the macho man in charge for his lovers, that he found it interesting and exciting that you wanted to be the one in control. You told him what to do, how to do it, praised him and guided him along, had him lay down while you crawled on top and did all the work for him after you were ready to take his cock.
And to his surprise, he instantly liked it– loved it, even. He never considered before then letting someone else have the leading role in bed, but after you started, it just felt natural. And when you leaned down and kissed him in that moment, when everything was so different for him and exciting, it felt like everything shifted, like the entire world titled on its axis. 
Maybe he’s been in love with you since then, but only fully realized what he felt recently. Maybe he’s been in love since even further before, but didn’t have the tools then to put that feeling together, because the line between friend and lover can sometimes be blurry. Maybe he’s been a fool this entire time, and continues to be one now– because he knows what he feels now for certain, but is still too scared to admit it to you. 
He’s thankful that your tongue in his mouth prevents him from speaking– because he’s certain if it wasn’t, he’d end up saying something he shouldn’t. It doesn’t stop him from having the thoughts internally, however.
“You’re so perfect, I love you, I love you so much, I need you, need you to need me, love you,” his brain is screaming as his orgasm approaches once more. The noises leaving him growing more in volume and desperation is enough of a warning for you on its own that he’s close, but you can feel him throbbing too, eager for release after how close he was to cumming earlier.
You reach your hand between your bodies once more, this time to rub your clit with your fingers. It makes your pace falter a bit, but Changbin is more than used to helping you in the last stretch like this. He helps you keep your pace with his hands, and thrusts up into you in time with the fall of your hips onto his.
“C-Cumming, oh, bunny, you’re making me cum,” you whimper, biting your lip and furrowing your brow as the circles you draw on your clit grow messy. You gasp when your orgasm hits you, your breath catching in your throat as your mouth hangs open in a silent cry. Changbin was already close, and the way you squeeze around him as you cum unravels him too. 
His cum shoots inside you, hot and sticky, his entire body trembling as he whimpers and whines beneath you. He’s not sure when he closed his eyes, but when he opens them he sees you looking down at him with such a beautiful smile that he truly feels like he died and went to heaven– because fuck, you’re an angel. 
Changbin reaches a hand up, tucks your messy, fallen strands of hair behind your ears, smiling when you coo and call him a “sweet boy,” again. You let your body fall against his chest, resting your head in the crook of his neck as you close your eyes and let out a content sigh. “Baby?” he questions, giggling a little when you mumble about being tired against his skin. 
“We have to get you cleaned up,” he reminds you, though the way he strokes your back surely doesn’t give you any motivation to get off him. “And you need to go to the bathroom before you fall asleep!” he adds, and you hum an acknowledgment, but still make no effort to crawl off him. Instead, your body relaxes even further, and soon enough you’re not even responding to him talking to you anymore.
You’ve fallen asleep much quicker than Changbin would’ve ever expected; he’s sure you’re tired from the days you spent away and the trip back home, and the fact that you fucked him immediately upon getting home likely didn’t do you any favors in keeping the fatigue at bay.
But he’s still here in your bed, beneath you, your body warm and soft and entirely limp as serene snores leave you. He’s not sure if he should try to wiggle his way out from under you, or just stay like this and sleep together. He knows what he wants to do, but.. he’s never spent an entire night in your room, nor have you done so in his.
And all he can think about while he looks up at your ceiling with you in his arms is how much he loves you but can’t tell you.
Fuck. What does he do now?
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It’s been days since Changbin has had the chance to speak with you, but whether or not that’s entirely a good thing remains to be seen– because even with the distance to sort himself out, his mind remains addled and plagued by the desire to be with you as a lover. 
Thankfully, you haven’t noticed anything off with him– mostly because the distance since arriving back home was due to your own need to catch up on sleep, unpack your belongings, and get ready to go back to work and resume life as usual. Whenever you’re not sleeping, you’re busy, and that works for Changbin– or it was supposed to, anyways.
All he’s done the last few days is get back into his spiral. Confess his feelings or not, risk your friendship or keep everything to himself, move out before he loses his mind or stay until the day you decide you’re done.. He wishes there was a simple, easy answer. More than that, he wishes he could guarantee that you’d stay with him if he laid his feelings bare for you.
And he misses you. You’re only a room away across the hall, but he misses you. And he doesn’t fucking know what to do with himself anymore. He’s been trying to sleep for hours now, but all he can do is toss and turn and think about you, how bad he needs you– not just emotionally, but physically too. Because the moment he started thinking about you, it was only a matter of time before he began to reminisce about the sex you’ve had. 
Is his brain fucking against him, or what? As if it wasn’t bad enough he was in a spiral over the possibility of you rejecting his feelings, now he can’t stop thinking about how pretty you looked after your shower this morning. He only saw you in passing, as he had to head out for work and you had to get back to catching up on the work emails that piled up in your inbox while you were away, but God..
If it wasn’t for the fact that you really needed to get your work done before going back to the office when the weekend’s over, he would’ve dropped to his knees right there in the middle of the hallway and eaten you out until you were begging him to stop (or forcing him to by pulling his hair.) He wouldn’t even have cared about his own job– Chan would forgive him, he always did.
And truly, this is agony. Worse than agony, it’s torture. He needs to go take a cold shower and calm the fuck down so he can start thinking rationally again– as rationally as he can manage to in his lovesick state, anyways. With a heavy sigh, he throws his blankets off himself and reaches for his glasses on his nightstand. After putting them on, he rises from his bed, hoping the shower will be enough of a reset to let him get some sleep.
Opening his door, he’s surprised to see you’re awake. Well, he can’t see you just yet from the hallway, but he can see that the lamp in the living room is turned on, and can faintly hear the tv playing lofi focus music. And even though he probably shouldn’t, he can’t resist walking over to check in on you. 
He can hear you typing away on your laptop as he gets closer, and you look away from the screen and turn your head in his direction when you hear his footsteps over the softly playing music. “Oh, Binnie!” you smile at him, and it’s so genuine it makes his heart flutter. He’s so fucking screwed. “Couldn’t sleep?” you ask him, taking a small break from responding to emails to give him your attention.
“O-Oh, yeah, well I was trying to sleep, but..” he trails off when he sees you glancing down his body, to the painfully obvious erection straining against his shorts. “Had a problem?” you finish for him, and his face instantly flushes red. It’s not like it’s the first time you’ve caught him with an erection, but it always makes him feel so perverted when it happens this way. 
“I can help you,” you offer, shooting him that pretty smirk that always turns him into jello. Fuck, you’re a siren, and he’s helpless to resist you. But still, aren’t you busy? As much as he’s willing to fuck up his own work performance for you, he’d feel terrible if his neediness made your own work harder for you. 
“I-I was going to shower and take care of it myself, but I saw you were awake and I just wanted to see what you were doing and.. Anyways, you don’t have to! Seriously, I know you’re busy! It’s okay, I don’t-” he babbles, and you giggle at him. He’s just so cute, especially when he’s trying his best to be considerate to you. 
“C’mere. I can’t help you right this minute but good boys like you know how to be patient, right? You can sit pretty here until I’m done with my emails?” you ask, patting the spot next to you on the sofa. Shit, you always know just what to say to him. 
He listens to your siren song, coming to where you beckon him to sit like the obedient boy you know him to be. “Take your cock out for me, baby,” you instruct, and again he listens, not a single ounce of hesitance as he slides his shorts down enough for his erection to spring free. He watches as you set your laptop on the coffee table and stand up, curious as to what you’re doing.
Changbin gulps when you slide your own shorts down your legs, as well as your panties, and fuck, he’s excited, but more than that he’s confused. He thought you told him he’d have to wait until you were done with your emails.. So why are you undressing already..? 
Maybe this is to keep him hard and eager– make him sit there with a view of your bare pussy so that by the time you’re done, he’s desperate and begging for you. Maybe you want to test the limits of your “good boy,” see how riled up you can make him while you work until he snaps and bends you over the sofa, taking you as he pleases. 
You stand in front of him with your back facing him, and though it’s a bit awkward and challenging, you reach behind and take his cock into your hand. “Spit on it, get it wet for me,” you tell him, and though his mind is still reeling from the unexpected development, he does as you ask. 
You spread his saliva around his length as best you can with your fingers, and when you’re content, you carefully press his cock to your hole. It takes you a second to get the angle right thanks to the position, but once you’ve got it, you slowly start to sink down. Changbin gasps and whines, bewildered by what’s happening right now. “B-Baby, I- what- what are you doing? I thought- I don’t-” 
“You’re still going to wait,” you tell him after you’ve fully sat in his lap, doing your best to keep your voice steady and firm despite how deliciously his cock is stretching out. “Be good for me, and stay still ‘til I’m done, okay? And then I’ll take care of you,” you tell him, and again he whines as he watches you lift your laptop from the coffee table and set it back in your lap. 
It’s a little awkward to type like this, but you think the fun that’ll result from it is worth it. Changbin eagerly nods his head, but then he remembers that you can’t see him in this position, so he speaks the best he can. “Y-Yes, I’ll be good for you,” he says with a shaky breath, biting his lip when you squirm ever so slightly to get more comfortable.
You lean back into him, his chest pressing against your back, his face close enough to your neck and shoulder that you can feel his labored breaths tickling your skin. He hears a click on your touchpad, opening a new email he assumes, followed shortly by the sound of keys resuming as you respond to it. 
Why is this so fucking hot? His dick is fully pressed inside you, and you’re not even paying attention to him– just continuing to type away on your laptop as if he’s not even losing his mind beneath you. Or should he say behind you? Both? 
He bites his lip and closes his eyes, trying his best to keep staying still like you told him to, his hands clutching the sofa cushions to keep them from wandering without permission and distracting you from your work. 
And God, he’s trying so hard to be quiet too, but it feels so impossible. The more you type away and click open new emails, the more he throbs. And the more he throbs, the more your pussy reacts by squeezing around him. And then he can’t help but whimper, his eyes rolling back when you adjust in his lap and cause the tiniest bit of friction. 
Click, more typing. A few more clicks, more typing. Click, click, more typing. How long has it even been? Since the moment you sank down on him and started working, he feels like he’s lost all sense of time. All he knows is that your pussy has been squeezing him so good– and it’s so wet now too. Is it just as exciting for you as it is for him? Do you like it? Or is it how good he’s being for you that’s making you soak his cock? 
“B-Baby, are you almost done? Please tell me you’re almost done,” Changbin whines, the desperation in his voice palpable. You chuckle as you click send on another email, wishing you could see his face right now– you’re sure he’s absolutely debauched. “Not quite,” you answer, and you can practically hear the pout in his whine.
Changbin is many things, but impatient and disobedient is not among the list. And he’s trying so, so hard to keep staying still, but he doesn’t think he can take it much longer. Honestly, you’re not sure if you can either– you’re quickly losing focus on your emails, and you’re fairly certain at least a handful of them were written less than professionally. 
Still, you click open another one, trying not to react to the way he desperately whimpers. He can’t be bad, he can’t– so his only option is to keep sitting here, and take it. “You’re- you’re almost done now, right?” he asks after another few minutes of waiting– at least, it felt like that to him. For all he knew, in reality it could’ve been more like 30 seconds. 
“What’s wrong, baby? Can’t wait anymore?” It’s a bit of a mean question, you know– especially since you already know the answer. But still, it’s fun to ask, and you love how whiny and breathy his voice has gotten in the time you’ve been sitting on his cock. 
“I-I’m sorry, I’m really trying, I just- I-I’ve never wanted to fuck you so bad before, I’m going crazy,” he practically cries, and you’re sure that if you turned around, you’d see his plump lips formed into the cutest, most devastating pout. “But I’m- I’m good,” he continues after taking another shaky breath, “I won’t move, not unless you tell me to, I promise.”
Fuck it– you still have work, but who cares? Surely your boss will understand if you couldn’t get to every email right? You got through most of them, and that counts for something, doesn’t it? That’s the justification you give yourself anyways as you close your inbox. 
“You want to fuck me, Binnie?” you ask him, and he eagerly nods just as he did before, remembering again at the last moment that you can’t see him. “Yes, yes! I really, really want to,” he replies, letting out a salacious moan when you start to lift off him. You shut your laptop and place it back on the coffee table before you turn around to look at Changbin.
Just as you expected, he looks deliciously debauched. Lips swollen and bitten red, face flushed, eyes sparkling with hope and desire as he looks up at you. “You’re right baby, you’re good. Such a good boy,” you coo at him, leaning down to kiss him sweetly. “How do you want me?” you ask him when you pull back, and his brain has to work overtime to stop itself from short circuiting from the question.
If you’re letting him pick, there’s one clear answer that’ll make him the happiest. “Lay down- on your back, please. Want to look at you, want you to look at me,” he says, and you smile at him as you lay back against the sofa, spreading your legs so Changbin can crawl between them. He kisses you as he takes his cock in his hand, pressing it against your hole before pulling away to look at you for approval.
“Go ahead, fuck me, bunny,” you encourage him sweetly. A shiver runs down the length of his spine as he starts to push back inside you, another obscene whine from deep in his throat leaving him when he’s fully inside. He leans down to kiss you again when he starts to fuck you earnestly, because that’s all he can think to do with his overwhelming wave of emotions. 
He’s thrusting fast from the start, all the pent up desperation and need for you pouring out of him ceaselessly. Your eyes always stay on his, even when he hits your spot in the way that normally makes them close or roll back, and it makes him crazy how you’re catering to his desire to have you looking at him.  
Your eyes are so pretty, so warm in the way they look at him. Everything about you is warm– your hands when they hold him, your body when it envelops him, your voice when you speak to him. The way you smile at him when he enters the room, the way you laugh at his stupid jokes, it’s warm, all of you is so, so warm. You’re home, you’re comfort, you’re bliss.
He feels like he’s unraveling in his entirety as he looks down at you, his pace quickly growing sloppy as his cock throbs. He can’t handle the way you’re looking up at him, can feel the tears threatening to well up in the corners of his eyes. He’s so overwhelmed by it all– by the pleasure, by the way you look lying beneath him, by how much he loves you. 
“You’re so beautiful, oh my god,” he whines, every thought that’s been running through his mind falling from his lips as he squeezes you in his arms. He knows he should shut up, should bite his lip or slap his hand over his mouth before he says something he shouldn’t, but the words just keep pouring out of him. 
“You’re so pretty, so fucking pretty, I can’t take it sometimes,” he continues, whimpering when you bring your fingers to your clit and start to squeeze around him tighter. “You- you make me so crazy, you’re perfect, so perfect, and- God, ‘m so close, love you so much, I love you,” he stutters, his eyes rolling back as he feels you start to cum with him. He presses his cock fully into you one last time, his cum spurting out in thick ropes until you’re full.
He’s panting, glasses fallen down to the tip of his nose, body trembling as he slowly starts to come down from the high. “Binnie,” you call him softly, and it’s not until he opens his eyes and looks at you again that what he said hits him like a ton of bricks.
He told you he loves you. While he was fucking you. He told you he loves you.
There’s no way to turn it out around as platonic in this scenario– it’s so fucking obvious how he meant it. To say he’s mortified is an understatement; and when he tries to speak, all that comes out are pathetic stutters, every explanation he wants to offer dying in his throat. Your eyes are watery as you look at him, and suddenly his throat feels impossibly dry, his hands clammy as he pulls out of you. 
He fucked up so bad. He ruined everything, he knows he did– this isn’t how he wanted to tell you, he wasn’t even ready to tell you. And now you know, and you’re looking at him with so much concern he feels like he’s going to shatter. Not anger, not sadness, but care– a care entirely different from what he’s seen on you before.
It’s pity, isn’t it? You don’t share the sentiment and you pity him for blurting it out like that. “You love me?” you ask him, your voice soft but cautious, unsure. “I..” Changbin tries again, but honestly he just wants to cry. Every emotion, every word, lodged in his throat and stuck, but still he tries to explain himself. “I’m sorry, I- I didn’t mean-”
You’ve always loved Changbin. Since the early days of your friendship, you’ve loved him. How could you not? You’d never met someone as sincere as him, his every action so affectionate and caring. A gentleman through and through, always making sure the people he loves are taken care of, always the first to offer a helping hand when someone is in need. 
But you’d given up on the idea that you could have something more so long ago– and becoming friends with benefits with him told you that he didn’t love you romantically. He was the first to offer, and people don’t offer that arrangement if it risks their feelings getting exposed; so he didn’t love you that way, you were certain. 
You told yourself you were okay with that. You were done with relationships, so tired of having your heart broken after pouring all of your love and faith into someone. And sure, you’d be heartbroken again when Changbin inevitably decides to move on, but at least it was a heartbreak you accepted would come, you’d be ready for it– that’s what you always told yourself.
But he loves you? Like, is in love with you? And he’s mistaking your surprise, your teary eyes, your struggle to wrap your head around the fact that he loves you as much as you love him as rejection. You can see it in the panic in his eyes, the way he stumbles over his words, the tremble in his voice– he thinks you don’t love him. 
How could he ever think you don’t love him? 
“Changbin, I-” you try again, and somehow the fact that you’re using his full name hurts worse; it's like a confirmation that you’re done with him, with this. It’s irrational, but the part of his brain that’s trying to talk sense into him is drowned out by the panic and fear of rejection, as if he can protect himself from the pain by accepting the fact that you don’t love him now before you say it out loud. 
“I need- I need a minute, I’m so sorry,” he blurts out, because even though he knows it’s coming, he can’t bear to hear it yet. He scrambles up from the sofa, trying to hold back the tears that threaten to spill as he rushes back to his room. He falls to his bed, burying his face into his pillows and lets out a trembling breath. 
Tomorrow.. He can’t avoid this, knows he needs to accept it sooner rather than later, but for this tiny moment, at least until tomorrow, he’s still yours.
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Changbin isn’t avoiding you. At least, not on purpose– he just hasn’t gathered the courage to leave his room yet. He feels a bit like a hypocrite; he prides himself on his communication skills, and yet in the face of an honest conversation and acceptance of rejection, he flounders. Is he pathetic? You’d have every right to think so. 
Are you going to move out now? Should he? No, he should stop beating around the bush and just talk to you. You’re not in love with him, but you do love him– and that’s supposed to be enough, he told himself so many times that it is. 
You can work past this, can’t you? It has to be possible. He just doesn’t want to lose you, even if it breaks his heart he can take not having you romantically, is totally fine without the sex– but losing you as a friend? He can’t bear that.
He sighs, covering his face with his hands as he lies in his bed. He slept like shit, and he’s sure you didn’t fare much better– a thought that adds to the guilt he feels. But fuck, he needs to face this. The only thing that would be worse than losing you as a friend because being friends with benefits blew up in his face would be losing you because he was a spineless coward. 
Changbin grabs his phone, checks the time– it’s still early in the morning, but you’re usually awake by now. With another sigh to steel himself for what’s to come, he gets up from his bed and faces his door. He takes a breath, another attempt to calm his nerves, and walks to his door, quickly twisting the knob and pulling it open. 
“Oh!” you squeak in surprise, jumping where you stand before him. Changbin jumps too, with his own little shout of surprise coming out. How long were you standing outside of his door? Were you trying to work up the nerve to talk to him too? You blink at one another for a moment, and to Changbin’s relief, you’re the first to crack, letting out a little giggle. 
He giggles too, and though it’s a bit awkward given what happened late last night, it’s a relief that you’re not mad at him. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” Changbin explains through his giggles, and God, your smile is so cute. You cover your mouth as you try to stop giggling, eyes crinkling and sparkling as you look at him, “No, no! It’s my fault for standing outside your door like this.” 
It eases him, feels more like the normal he’s used to with you– the normal he hopes and prays you can still share after this. “Can I come in?” you ask him, and of course he lets you, stepping to the side so you can enter his room. Your body language is still relaxed, but when you look at him again, your expression is serious.
Part of him worries that the lighthearted moment you just shared was a lapse in judgment on your part, and that you’re about to chew him out for running away last night– not that he wouldn’t deserve it if you did. But what you actually end up saying is a much stronger shock to his system. “Why do you think I don’t love you?”
“Wh-What? I-I.. I don’t-” Changbin stutters, blinking at you in utter shock, not even entirely sure how to respond.
“Because I do. I love you so much, Seo Changbin. The idea that you think I don’t hurts me,” you tell him, entirely sincere. That’s the part of his impromptu confession that kept you up at night, the part that upset you? Not that he loves you when he shouldn’t, or that your friendship might be ruined?
“If you think you’re not enough for me, you are– if you think you aren’t deserving of love, you are. Tell me what it is, so I can make sure you never question how much I love you again. Okay? I need you to promise me that.”
Changbin blinks, frozen, a million thoughts and emotions running through him. If he’s being honest, he doesn’t know the answer. There was such a big chunk of his life where he wasn’t happy with himself– the way he looked, the soft parts of his personality, his desires that felt so grandiose and impossible.. 
He thought he had to live to what other people expected him to be, that it was the only way they would love him. It took him years of effort, of stumbling and falling and getting back up to get where he is now. More confident in his body, in the way he walks through the world, in the love he pours into his family and friends.
But there’s that part of his old self that still lingers– a part that calls to him late at night, that makes him question if he’s allowed to be this happy. That reminds him it’s still there when he’s weak and unsure, that crawls up his spine whenever you smile at him, that won’t let him believe that you could love him. 
Changbin isn’t the same lanky, insecure boy he was when he first met you, but maybe he is. He looks different than he did then, but maybe that part of him is still there, underneath the built up muscle and maturity. Maybe it always will be, maybe there’s no way to ever make it go away– but maybe he doesn’t need to.
He thinks of all the times you were there for him, from the very first day you met. How you always encouraged him to do what makes him happy, how you supported him through his every decision to better himself. 
“I think you’re perfect the way you are, but if going to the gym would make you feel better about yourself, you should do it!” you told him when he brought up the topic of trying to bulk up and fill out his body. “You’re so adorable Binnie, seriously, how can you be so cute?” you grinned, pinching his cheeks the first time aegyo slipped out in front of you. 
No matter which version of himself he showed you, you loved him. Each part, no matter how different and against expectations, you cared for. And even with all the work he put into himself, there was still the part of him that tried to change in his romantic and sexual relationships. Trying to live up to what he thought his partners wanted, trying to adapt himself to them. 
But so effortlessly, you dismantled the expectations he put upon himself. All the times you called him sexy and adorable in the same breath, made him believe that he could be both at the same time– that he could be manly and intimidating, sweet and loving, sexy and cute all at once, and it was all still genuinely him, all worthy of love.
Maybe it’s impossible to shove insecurity completely aside; it’s likely that it’ll always linger. Even when it’s small, and tucked away, and very nearly forgotten, it’ll be there, waiting. And maybe that’s okay, because when you have someone who loves you as you are, who reassures you and listens to you and comforts you, it’ll start to fade back out as naturally as it came in.
“I don’t know why,” he answers honestly, his bottom lip starting to quiver. His best guess is that his fear of losing someone he loves so much expounded upon his underlying insecurities, made them flare to the point that he felt like he could drown in them. 
“I just know that I love you. And I need you, and not like- not like that, I just- ..I never want to be without you,” he continues, refusing to get choked up by his emotions and let it stop him from saying what he needs to. “And I promise- I’ll tell you, anytime I’m unsure of myself, I’ll tell you.” 
You step closer to him, reach up and cup his face in your hands, rub the tears that threaten to fall from the corners of his eyes with your thumbs. His heart skips a beat when you smile sweetly at him, when you lean towards him to press a soft kiss to his lips, to tell him you love him. “You said I was perfect,” you say as you kiss him again, and then again, “but so are you. You’re the loveliest person I’ve ever known.”
You press more kisses over his face, complimenting each feature as you go. His deep, dark eyes that can be so piercing or so soft depending on the situation. His full cheeks, so cute and endearing when they’re pink from a blush, but so handsome and complimentary to his face. His downturned smirk when something amuses him that can easily turn into a fully bright upturned smile when he’s happy, and makes his nose scrunch adorably. 
“Honey,” he breathes in a soft whine, unsure of what to do with all the excess affection. You guide him back to his bed, crawling atop him when he falls back against it, continuing your trail of kisses down his neck. “You deserve this,” you tell him, smiling against his skin when you feel him squirm beneath you, “deserve it all, and more.”
Changbin brings one of his hands to the back of your neck when you pull back to look at him, bringing you back down to him so he can kiss you. He doesn’t want to hold back anymore, to try and hide how badly he needs you. He kisses you like a man starved, hungry and desperate. His desire is carnal, every inch of him aching for your attention. 
Your hands sweep over his torso, finding the hem of his shirt and tugging at it. He gets the hint, and separates from you so you can take it off him. He watches you remove yours too, heart thumping in his chest as you reach behind you to unhook your bra. He tries to lean up to kiss you again when you’re finished, but you push him back down.
He whines at first, but quickly swallows it down when you smile at him in that pretty way that makes his stomach flare with butterflies, his cock twitching as it hardens beneath you. Your hands travel his body, compliments about each and every inch of him freely falling from your lips. His arms, thick and warm and comforting. His chest, so strong and beautifully sculpted. His stomach, soft and cute, as perfect as the rest of him. 
You kiss him too– everywhere your fingers touch, your lips follow. Soft, tender, overwhelming– his heart is beating so fast and hard, all your words, touches, and kisses make his blood feel like molten lava, every inch of him unbearably hot. It chokes him up too, how sweet you’re being to him; you’ve doted on him plenty of times, but never like this.
You take one of his hands in yours next, bring it up to your lips to press achingly soft kisses to it. The palm first, and then his wrist, before you turn it over to kiss his knuckles. You kiss the tip of each of his fingers, and his breath hitches as he watches you, goosebumps erupting all over him when you gently put it down and pick up his other hand to repeat the actions. 
You treat him with so much reverence, shower him with more love than he knows what to do with. He’s trembling with emotion, aching with desire, overwhelmed by how much he loves you, how beautiful you look. He’s going to cry– seriously, he doesn’t know how much more he can take before tears start spilling out of him. 
“Honey, please-” Changbin whines, and to his relief, you pause to look at him. “Please, I- let me make you feel good, please? I want to, I- I want to show you how much I love you too,” he begs. You intended to take care of him, to shower him in affection until you inevitably made him cum, but you meant it when you said you can never deny him his desire to be sweet to you.
“Tell me what you want, baby,” you say, and you watch as he chews on his bottom lip, face heating up further as he considers what to say. He knows what he wants, he’s thought about it so many times– it’s just the admitting and asking for it part that makes him a little shy. Still, you treat him so well, and you always indulge him, so.. The only thing to do is just go for it. 
“I want.. Want you to sit on my face. Please? Please, please sit on my face,” he begs, and God, that has to be the sexiest thing he’s ever begged for. It makes your stomach flip, and if your legs weren’t straddling him, you definitely would’ve clenched them together. Lifting yourself off him, you make quick work of the remainder of your clothes. 
Changbin scoots down the bed, so your legs will have more room when you return to him, chucking his glasses away, not nearly enough care in him for where they land. He looks at you, with a devastatingly sweet and bashful smile, his arms reaching out to help you when you start to settle above him. Your knees on either side of his head, he wraps his arms around your thighs. 
The latter half of his face is obscured by your body hovering over him, but looking down, you can see his eyes, sparkling with eager excitement as he keeps your gaze. You lower yourself just a little, nervous to sit your entire weight on his face and suffocate him, but Changbin doesn’t want you to hover, he wants you to sit. 
So using the arms he has wrapped around you, he pulls you fully down to him. You gasp– partly because of the surprise, and partly from the feeling of his tongue meeting your pussy. He focuses on your hole first, lapping up all the slick that drips out of you before he drags his tongue up to your clit, licking in a long, fat stripe.
He wraps his lips around it, sucking and flicking it with his tongue until you're writhing above him before he alternates back to licking you up, bottom to top, drinking all you offer. You bury your fingers in his curly hair, and he moans when you tug on it. He squeezes your trembling thighs, letting out happy hums whenever you moan for him.
He sticks out his tongue and lays it flat for you when you start to roll your hips, letting you grind against his face and use him however you see fit to. You shiver when your clit bumps against his nose, your breaths becoming harsher as you drive yourself closer to release on his tongue.
“Oh bunny, you’re so good to me, so good, ‘m gonna cum for you,” you cry, voice whinier than you would’ve otherwise liked it to be, but the way Changbin whines eagerly in response tells you how much he loves it. A few more rolls of your hips, and you’re cumming, your thighs squeezing around his head as you keep a tight grip on his hair to keep yourself steady. 
Changbin enthusiastically laps up your release, continuing until you're squirming and whining from the sensitivity. He loosens his hold on your thighs when you do, letting you lift your leg over his head and fall to the side of the bed a little ways away from him. Both of you are breathless, but Changbin is the first to recover, and when he does he sits up and crawls over to where you landed.
He grabs your face, gently, of course, and pulls you into a kiss. His face is slick with your essence, and you can taste yourself all over his lips and tongue. “You looked so pretty,” he tells you softly between kisses, “You’re so gorgeous when you cum for me.” He carefully spreads your legs and slots himself between them, sliding his tongue around yours as he does. 
“Want to give you my cock now,” he breaths, pulling away just enough to look at you with those eager, pleading eyes that make you weak. “Want to keep making you feel good, want to- want to watch your eyes roll back when I make you cum again.” 
“Sweet boy,” you coo, spreading your legs wider for him, offering yourself to him, “do it, baby. Give it to me.”
He kicks off the remainder of his clothes in record time, taking his cock in his hand and spreading the dribbling pre-cum over his length until it’s completely wet. You’re more than ready for him, but he’s as careful with you as always, pushing each inch inside slowly. 
You reach out to him and pull him down to you, kissing him hard and sweet, drinking in the whimper he lets out when he’s fully inside you. His entire body is trembling, still worked up from all the attention you gave him and sensitive from fucking you just last night. There’s a part of him that still feels vulnerable too, but he’s safe with you, and he knows you always will be. 
He loves you well, but you love him better; and he’ll spend every moment he has showing how much he appreciates you. He doesn’t need to prove his worth, doesn’t need to do anything apart from be himself– the love you’ve given him has shown him that. You understand him, better than anyone ever has. 
You love him, you always have, long before who he is now, and will continue to long into the future. All he has to do to repay all you’ve given him is love you. Love you honestly, openly, freely– because he’s enough as he is.
When he starts to move his hips, you both moan, Changbin just the slightest bit louder than you. He tucks his arms under your shoulders and pulls you closer to him, chests touching as he steadily builds a faster pace. He’s squeezing you in his arms, whining in your ear about how good you feel around him.
He’s so high-strung and sensitive that he doesn’t think he’ll last long, but oh, is he going to try. But shit, he’s still so emotional too– he thought he would’ve recovered by now, but it keeps hitting him in waves. And when you kiss him, it makes him dizzy– not just with lust and desire, but with passion, adoration.
The way he looks down at you when he pulls away takes your breath away, so sentimental and loving. You take his face into one of your hands again, and it takes everything in him to not get choked up again. Your love is his greatest comfort, but it also makes him ache– because no one has ever loved him as sincerely as you do. 
“Do you need to stop?” you ask him tenderly, once again wiping the tears from his eyes. His heart feels like it’s going to burst from all the emotion, but he quickly shakes his head, offering you a sincere smile, “N-No, no, I’m fine! I just- I really love you,” he admits, pressing a sweet kiss to your lips to show you he means it.
“And besides, I might go actually insane if I don’t fuck you, cause seriously, how are you so fucking sexy?” he follows up. “Oh, shut up,” you giggle, playfully slapping his arm. “This is supposed to be about you, you know? My sweet bunny and how perfect he is- maybe I need to remind you?” 
Changbin curiously tilts his head at your words as you lock your legs around him and using what strength you have, and with the help of gravity and momentum, you force him to roll to his side, and then to his back. You smile down at him, your roles easily flipped, while he stares up at you, mystified and easily the most turned on he’s ever been. 
“Oh-” is all he manages to utter, his cock throbbing furiously inside you. He could’ve easily fought it– he’s physically much stronger than you, after all. But he just loves when you force him into the positions you want, loves to be malleable and pliant for you. 
You plant your hands firmly on his chest, bouncing on his cock fast, the sound of your thighs slapping together just barely louder than Changbin’s obscenely loud whimpers. “Oh God, ‘m gonna cum,” he whines desperately, too wound up and sensitive to resist it, his hands clutching at the bedsheets so hard his knuckles have turned white, “please, please, please, can I, please? Please, let me cum.” 
“I love you so much, Binnie, want you to cum for me,” you tell him, bringing one of your hands to your clit so you can cum with him, the way he always loves to. It causes you to squeeze tighter, and he gasps, sucking his bottom lip between his teeth as he trembles. “Give it to me, baby, be a good boy and cum for me.”
He does just as you ask, a messy string of “I love you”s falling from his lips until he’s too far gone to keep talking, tears streaming down the sides of his face as his eyes roll to the back of his head, and then close. His noises are high-pitched and pornographic, his entire body shaking with the intensity of his cum spilling inside you.
His vision is blurry when he starts to blink open his eyes, but soon enough you come back into focus above him, looking down at him affectionately. He smiles at you, a goofy, sweet one that makes you giggle. He wraps his arms around you and drags you down to him, pressing kisses to your lips over and over again. 
Changbin tells you everything he’s wanted to this entire time as he does; how beautiful you are, how much he loves you, how he can’t imagine his life without you in it. He blushes when you do the same, while once again making him promise he’ll tell you if doubt ever starts to creep up on him. 
The journey to loving yourself isn’t easy; it’s a long winding road, uneven and easy to stumble on. But when he falls, you’ll be there to catch him. You’ll remind him how loved he is, the value he has simply in being, how he brightens every day you share just by existing. 
You’ll always be here, growing older with him, supporting him as he continues to grow and change, each experience turning him into a newer version of himself. And in every change, in every season of his life, you’ll continue to love him. Always.
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network tags: @ksmutsociety @skzstarnet
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brandwhorestarscream · 4 months ago
Note
If d16 was carrying in the movie that could have saved him.
OOH I HAVE. THOUGHTS ABOUT THIS
Part 2 here, part 3 here, part 4 here!
Hear me out, ok. Sentinel Prime heavily, heavily advocates for chastity. He very publicly denounces casual intimacy, waxing poetic about how it's a very special thing that should only be shared with someone you truly love and trust. To give yourself away to a stranger in a one night stand or even casually to a friend is one of the greatest disservices one can do to themselves. Interfacing should only be done with your bonded mate. While it's certainly not illegal, their Prime's warm concern and insistence that they're all special and should be treated as such keeps a lot of mecha's panels closed. The vast majority of them are saving themselves for their conjunx endura.
Now, the real reason Sentinel doesn't want them having sex? He doesn't want them breeding. Specifically the lowest of society, he doesn't want his cogless servants sparking each other up and having babies with t-cogs. It would raise too many questions, and while he has no qualms about taking a newspark's cog out before they're presented to their parents, accidents happen. People slip up. Some sparklings come before their parents can get to a hospital. Some nutcases want home births because it's "more intimate and natural". Some just plain don't realize they're carrying until they start having contractions. Cogless bots popping out babies with cogs will only cause problems, so the best way to prevent such a thing is to convince them that chastity is their best option. Most of them die before they can find someone they want to be with forever, and even among those that do, they struggle to save up enough money for a bonding license. Keeping them repressed and chaste is just another means of his control.
Now, as for sweet D-16 >:) he practically worships Sentinel Prime. He has such blind adoration and trust in him. Orion adores him too, of course, but not quite on the same level. He doesn't look at Sentinel with the same stars in his optics, though certainly has boundless respect and admiration for him. When they're visited by the Prime post-Iacon 5000, they're invited up to his personal suite 👀
Consider: instead of getting immediately jumped by Darkwing, they actually do get escorted up there. It's grander than anything either of them have ever seen, a shining and spotless penthouse with a 360° view of the city, expensive chaises to lounge on and bottles of the finest, smoothest high grade, even a jacuzzi! Sentinel Prime meets them there, and, placing a gentle hand on each of their faces, purrs that he wants to reward them.
"I've never seen anything like what you two did today," D-16 whimpers at his praise, beaming sunshine, and Orion is awestruck. "Come... sit with me."
They follow their Prime obediently and he relaxes onto one of the lounges, pulling the two cute little miners down on either side of him. They talk--or rather, Sentinel talks and they hang onto his every word, each tucked under one of his arms and nestled close against his chassis--and eventually he pops a bottle of champagne and pours them each a glass. Neither Dee nor Orion have ever had such high quality energon before: it goes down thick and smooth and warm, sending a blast of heat through their little bodies that pool in their tummies and make them start to squirm and feel woozy. Sentinel prompts they drink the whole thing, each of them, and by the time they're done they're gasping and swaying. So strong! Too strong!
The Prime's huge blue servo slides onto D-16's face, admiring his dazed expression. His optics are flickering, shutters at their halfway point, and he's visibly flushed, mouth dropped open and pretty lips parted as he pants. Swaying gently back and forth like that, Sentinel can't resist. He leans down and kisses him, gentle but controlling, and D-16 makes an honest-to-Primes squealing noise.
As soon as Sentinel pulls back, Dee wavers and collapses back against the chaise, optics blown wide even as an uncontrollable smile splits his face. He starts giggling, covering his face and rocking back and forth as euphoria bubbles out of him in uncontrollable, adorable laughter. "Oh my stars-" he gushes. "Oh my stars omistars omistars wow...!" His first kiss has left him breathless and elated, barely able to speak, worship and the greatest joy imaginable shining in his optics.
Sentinel Prime has them, both of them, in his suite, over and over and over again. They're both virgins, have never touched another mech or been touched in turn, and their leader takes great revelry is breaking their seals. Fucking their tight little valves until they're wailing and cumming in his lap, sobbing in ecstasy into his neck, clumsily kissing at his plating and swearing that they adore him, they love him, please more, more, more! He frags them on the furniture, against the wall, on the floor, even in the hot tub. He has them both on their knees in front of him on the lounge, licking and sucking at his spike and pushing each other to lap up drops of his transfluid, asks them to use their mouths on each other while he watches. He even asks them to bear their sparks and they do: he doesn't share his own but he's glad to tease at theirs, and it reduces them to mewling little piles on the floor, twitching and rocking and moaning as they crash through overload after overload. Such beautiful little pets, so eager to please, he could definitely get used to having them around for awhile.
When their time comes to an end they've started to sober up, snuggled against his sides on one of the lounges, still whimpering and panting high on pleasure, excess charge making them woozy and giggly even though the high grade is nearly out of their systems. Airachnid arrives and doesn't even give them a passing glance, informing the Prime that it's time to depart. He sends them back to their home in the mines, promising to see them again soon, just as soon as he returns from his next crusade to the surface.
D-16 and Orion stumble home giggling and shoving each other, still adjusting their armor and poking at the paint transfers spattered all over them. They're euphoric, there's no other word for it, high as a kite on pleasure, on the knowledge that Sentinel Prime wanted them and they were able to satisfy him! No longer virgins and instead claimed by the Prime!
Their batchmates welcome them home with a cacophony of cheers and hugs and jostling--MINERS! In the RACE! Their very own brothers, in the Iacon 5000! And- wait, why are you two all wet...?
They weren't intending to tell everyone, but the way they look at each other and blush and start snickering and struggling to explain is telling enough. Ratchet is already approaching with a wrench to scold them, they know better than to let a moment of excitement cloud their judgement-
"Uh, w-well-"
"Sentinel Prime wanted to-"
"SENTINEL PRIME?!" The entire room screams out in shock at once, before the cheering resumes tenfold. Their batchmates got the attention of THE Sentinel Prime?! Sentinel Prime made love to their batchmates! A couple of miners got the attention and affection of their Prime! If they thought the Iacon 5000 was inspiring that's nothing compared to this: before you know it the entire sector is mining energon at a lightning fast pace and they've hit their quotas before shift is even a quarter of the way done.
Orion and D-16 happily get to work as well, eager to do their best so that when their dashing Prime returns to them, they can tell him about how hard they worked and how much energon they mined and how well everyone is going to eat because of them!
When Sentinel Prime suddenly returns and orders triple shifts, they're surprised. Very surprised. It's not like him at all! Pretty soon the miners are running on no sleep and little fuel, some are injured and being denied time for repair and seek medical treatment. And D-16, despite his best efforts, is starting to fall behind after several weeks of the brutal demands. He's getting dizzy which he attributes to the lack of recharge. His servos keep dropping things even when he's sure he has a tight grip on them. He's nauseous, all the time, and multiple times a shift stumbles away from the rest of his crew to gag and vomit in a corner of whatever energon vein they're currently working in. Orion tries to get him to slow down, to stop, because he's clearly sick and needs medical care, but Dee isn't willing to stop. "Sentinel Prime needs us, Pax! We can't stop now!"
It all comes to a head as they're dragging themselves out of a tunnel with a full load of raw energon to be refined. D-16 suddenly stumbles, clamping one servo over his mouth and running off to the side. Orion hurriedly follows him after making sure Ironhide and Jazz have got the minecart.
"Hey, easy, easy-" he comes to rub his back as his best friend bends over, servos braced on his knees and body already rolling with slow, threatening heaves. He moans that he doesn't want to, he's so sick of purging, it hurts, please Primus, not today! "C'mon, just, let it out. You'll feel better once it's out, Dee."
D-16 groans and hunches over further, arms wrapping around his middle. "No... Primes, please- hgk-!"
"OI!" A miserably familiar voice suddenly bellows behind them, and Orion's sympathetic expression drops to sheer annoyance. Oh, no. "YOU TWO! Whaddo you think you're doin'?!" Darkwing is storming up to them. "Sentinel Prime wants his energon, so GET BACK TO WORK!"
"Darkwing, please," for once Orion is polite, one servo still braced on his friend's back. "D-16's sick, he needs-"
"I don't CARE what you think he needs!" Their superior roars, grabbing them both by the shoulders and forcing then around to face him. "I said, get back to-"
Dee promptly hurls all over the slagger's pedes.
He can't hold it anymore, but he tries, clamping both servos over his mouth even as he purges again. Half-digested energon splashes through his fingers and sprays all over Darkwing's chassis, who roars in disgust and backpedals away from him. Dee crumples to his knees, gagging, both servos planted on the floor before he throws up one final time, emptying his already meager tanks and ejecting a puddle of digestive acid that burns at his throat. It dribbles out of the vents on his neck and nasal ridge, and he sobs. Primus, he feels so sick!
Darkwing's response, naturally, is to grab them both and throw them down to sublevel 50 😌 there they meet B-127, and the plot kicks off, though a bit later than before. They make it to the surface and set out to find the Matrix. The journey is significantly longer with D-16's condition, constantly having to stop so he can rest or purge. Orion, at one point, offers to carry him, and Dee is too miserable to protest. Let's Orion gently hoist him onto his back and promptly passes out with his helm on his shoulder. He's overly warm, Orion notices: feverish, surely a sign that he's getting worse. They need to find the Matrix, soon. Maybe it can help cure Dee's sickness! And if not, well, once energon flows again they won't have to mine, and D-16 will be able to see a doctor as soon as they get home. They'll get him the medicine he needs and he'll be just fine.
When they finally arrive at the Grave of the Primes, D-16 is in bad shape. Shaking like a rust rattler, dry heaving because there's nothing left in his systems to throw up, and very hot to the touch. Orion nor Elita nor B-127 have ever seen a mech in quite such a miserable state, and they're all very worried. Orion sits him down on a rock and tells him to rest, and D-16 just hunches over, helm between his knees and arms folded over his head, the epitome of misery. Whimpering softly and praying to the Primes to please, please, make it stop. Whatever this virus is that's tormenting him, please just make it stop!
Then, they find and awaken Alpha Trion.
The Prime notices Dee's condition. Immediately. He can see it, an invisible aura none but the divine can see: this young mech hosts a precious newspark inside of him. Before he tells them the story of what happened, he opts to examine the little one. He's so young, probably too young to be a carrier yet, but he's undeniably sparked. A few decacycles along.
He tells them what's going on, why D-16 is so grievously ill. "Your sparkling is starving," he tells him seriously. "You are not receiving enough donations. Their protoform is cannibalizing your body, that is the root of your sickness. Where... is the sire? He or she should be caring for your needs."
All four of them are staring at Alpha Trion with their mouths open. D-16 is carrying?! He's pregnant?! But who-
Elita one punches Orion in the face as hard as she can, sending him sprawling into the dirt with a cry of surprise. "OW! What the-"
"You slagger!" She plants one pede on his chassis and presses down til she hears metal creak and he goes 'ow ow ow!'. "It was you, I know it was you! Who else would be so dumb?! You got him sparked up and haven't been taking care of him?! You worthless deadbeat! I should rip your fragging denta out with pliers! One at a time! I should!"
"Omigosh, Dee," behind her, B-127's voice has gone airy and light in excitement. He comes up to the silver mech's side, grabbing his servo to squeeze. "Congrats, dude! You're gonna be a mom!"
D-16, for his part, is sat there in shock. Shoulders dropped and loose, mouth hanging open, staring at Alpha Trion with his optics so wide they're at liberty to pop right out of the sockets and need recalibrating. "I'm..." his voice is barely above a whisper, shaking servos drifting toward his tummy. "You mean- I'm-?!"
He's starting to smile, joy bubbling up in his chest. Excitement, too. And terror. And a million other things that he can't name because he's too shocked, but suddenly despite how sick he feels he can't help but start to laugh. Delight blooms in his chest and forces it's way out of his throat as he starts to giggle and chuckle, and before long he's doubled over holding his stomach and laughing with tears of joy streaming down his face.
"I'm- I'm having a-" he jumps up to run over to Orion, shooing Elita off of him and throwing his arms around his friend. "Pax I'm sparked! I- I can't wait to tell Sentinel, he's gonna be so excited!"
"Sentinel?" Alpha Trion's voice goes cold and harsh behind them.
"Yes! Oh- Oh yes, Sentinel Prime, he-"
"He is NO PRIME!" The old mech bellows, and all four of them turn to look at him in confusion. "He does not bear our name!"
"...WHAT?!"
The grand reveal is even more sour this time around. So, so much more sour. The betrayal runs so much deeper, and D-16 is horrified and sickened. Watching the mech he adores and admires so much bowing to the quintessons and giving away the energon that they worked so hard for. It was already bad, but now? Now, he's carrying that monster's offspring. A sparkling conceived under false pretenses, under coercion, under lies. This baby hadn't been created by love and mutual respect, it has been made by a mech that lied to their faces to get them into his bed, to get access to their bodies to use for his own pleasure however he saw fit.
D-16 feels disgusting. Violated. Worthless. He feels tricked and used and abused. He stares down at his body feeling more nausea already roiling in the deepest pits of his tanks. Sentinel had touched him everywhere. There's not a single inch of space anywhere that's clean of that mech's touch.
No one is surprised when he suddenly folds to his knees and screams. Screams with all the force of his anguish, his shattered trust, his broken and reviled body. Manic, he claws at his chassis with feverbright optics, wailing at them to, "Get it out of me...! GET IT OUT OF ME! I don't want it, I don't- I don't want it, GET IT OUT!"
Orion is at his side in an instant, yelping, "Dee, no! Stop, you'll hurt yourself!" As he forcibly grabs his friend's servos to stop him from tearing himself apart. D-16 shrieks a wordless noise of agony, and then collapses forward onto Orion to begin sobbing violently into his shoulder. Clutching onto him like a lifeline, wailing with all the devestated force he can. Bawling against Orion and falling to pieces, brokenly asking what he's going to do.
...
Ok im gonna cut this here cuz it's getting long, like really long and my hands are tired. I can barely move my left side today lmao. Poor poor Dee 😌 hope you enjoyed this nugget of angst! If ya'll wanna see a part 2, you know what to do. The box is open uwu
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writteninlunarlight-years · 7 months ago
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Lucifer
For Him:
He loves it when you call him anything super cheesy. Add some heart and soul to it, and he is obsessed.
Call him cringy things like Stud Muffin, Sugar Bear, and Honey Pie. He is so into it.
He will 100% melt if you call him princess. His kryptonite is you two lounging in bed playing with his hair while you call him your sweet boy or princess.
His hard no's are anything super vulgar that borderline comes off as sexual.
He wants to keep your relationship sweet and adoring until you get to bed.
For You:
He immediately goes for Duck, Ducky, or Duckling. He just can't help it. You remind him of his second favorite thing.
If he gets out of his ducky phase, which, let's face it, he won't. He likes to use names like Doll, Buttercup, and Baby.
He loves to call you his Queen or King just because he wants you to know how serious he is about sharing everything with you.
He won't call you princess; he has reserved that for Charlie, and he would really hate for a 'pass the salt' moment between you and his kid.
He can't wait for the day he gets to call you mommy or daddy, though, in a nonsexual way.
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Adam
For Him:
Adam LOVES when you call him God. As blasphemes as it is, it fuels his ego to the extreme.
He also likes the classic babe, baby, and honey. However, he wouldn't mind a private, memorable name.
He doesn't like to be overly gushy in public, so in private, you can get away with calling him something snuggly, like Teddy Bear or Honey Muffin.
A hard no for him is anything derogatory; as funny as it is, since he is the king of derogatory remarks, he doesn't know how to take the heat back.
He is a certified Lover Boy and will melt if you call him so, well, only if no one else is around.
For You:
Of course, we got the classic Adam phrases we all know and love Bitch, Baby Cakes, Sugar tits, and Baby.
However, he is unafraid to publicly call you things like his treasure, angel, or princess.
He will 100% call you a simp and Lover in the same sentence to throw you off guard.
He wont call you anything derogatory in the bed room though unless you ask for it, he feels like your alone time in the bed room is meant for him to worship you not hurt you.
He loves it when you let him call you his goddess and other high-paying names.
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Vox
For Him:
He is an old timey classics guy, he is in love with Baby, Honey, and Sugar like no other.
When it is just you two alone he never wants to hear his legal government name leave your mouth
As for in public its a little odd because he does have a persona but also just look at you your his everything
He hates anything overly sweet it is very gross to him when you drop a BooBooBear or a Hunk-A-Lunk just say normal shit
He loves when you call him the light of your life though makes him feel like he is doing good by you
For You:
He wants to keep the old-timey feel for you, too, but he may get a little creative. It's casual, babe, baby, and honey, but he may add in a pumpkin cupcake or princess.
He has no problem using pet names for you 24/7, even in the public eye. He has to show who owns you, after all.
When you are alone, he will use just a simple babe to get your attention because he wants to be soft and mundane with you.
He won't call you any crazy names, either. He finds them distasteful, but if you asked, he may find it in his heart to cave in.
Thrives when you call him daddy as much as when you let him call you mommy.
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Husk
For Him:
Certified Daddy Energy. Call him Daddy or Papi, and he melts like putty in your hands.
He also loves it when you call him other things, like baby or babe; those are classics that keep him going.
He doesn't mind the overly cringe-worthy nicknames that are long for no reason. Generally, the longer, the better because it eventually makes him laugh.
He refuses to be called anything relating to a cat, no whiskers, kitten, or kitty. He hears it from Al but wants to avoid hearing it from you.
If you call him something super sentimental, like the love of my life or my other half, he is a weak man.
For You:
He worships you and the ground you walk on because he believes you deserve so much better and will leave.
You are God, Goddess, Princess, Prince, King, Queen, or any high official title to make you feel good.
He loves hitting you with super sentimental pet names that show how much he cares about you.
He won't call you anything super mushy; it just isn't him. Though he likes how creative you get, he isn't much for it.
He loves calling you mommas or mommy when you two are out and about.
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redsrooftopprincess · 4 months ago
Note
When do you think Raph makes love to you and when does he give it to you rough and make you whimper with your tongue out?
Hope this is okay, sorry it took so long. Asks are going sloooooowwwww.... 😅
Hot Blood
AFAB Fem Reader x Raphael
Warnings: Violence, Smut, Property Damage 🌶️🌶️🌶️
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Raphael is a creature of extremes.
He's the biggest and the strongest on the street, and the softest when he hangs up his gear. He'll push you to the limit in the weight room like a god damn drill instructor, and then praise you and kiss away all your soreness the next morning.
When the two of you finally figure your shit out ("two years, we could have been doing this for TWO YEARS 😫"), you discover pretty quickly that that particular personality trait also extends to the bedroom.
There's is very little middle ground with him. Either he's worshipping you, or he's fucking you into the mattress, and there is no in between. "Casual sex" is something he's heard about, but he doesn't really understand. Like taxes. He gets that it's a thing that happens to other people, but he's pretty sure he's happier not knowing any more about it.
You certainly are.
In the beginning he treated you like you were made of glass. You pretty much had to do all the work until he was comfortable enough with the whole process, and more importantly, until he could be sure he wasn't going to hurt you.
Calloused hands, sliding rough against your soft abdomen, pulling shivers from your skin that you can feel within your fingertips. That same hand between your legs, pressing you against him as he moves in you. Giving as much to you as he is taking.
The quiet strength and precision reminding you, even in the moment, of the dichotomy that these same hands are capable of terrible things.
He had one rule about bringing work home: "Don't." He was never rough with you because he never wanted you to see that side of him. It's the same reason that, no matter how many times you begged, he wouldn't take you out on patrol.
Then you were mugged. We're not going to talk about what happened to the muggers, but it did involve an argument over how many bodies could fit in a trash compactor. It was decided after that you needed to at least learn how to defend yourself.
You'd started training and eventually became skilled enough that you convinced the boys to let you come out on patrol with them.
It had been a slow night, and the lot of you were just about ready to head back to the lair, much to Raphael's relief. He really didn't want you out here in the first place, but everyone else has been helping with your training, and they all seemed to think you were ready. He did too, he just wished you weren't so damn excited about it.
You were just looping back around towards the garage when an alert pinged on Donnie's watch.
"We've got Foot activity. Twelve blocks south."
You brightened up while Raph's stomach twisted. You spun and looked up at Leo.
"Can we go?" You asked excitedly.
He was hesitant, "Street thugs are one thing, (Y/N), but the Foot..."
"Please?"
He cringes, inhaling through his teeth.
Fine. We'll do this the hard way.
"Please? Please can we go? Please? Please Leo? Please? Please can we go? Please? Please? Please? Not gonna stop till you say yes. Please Leo? Please? Please? Plea-"
"OKAY FINE! "
"Yay!" You clap your hands and bounce like a five-year-old. Raph tenses as you make for the Southern edge of the rooftop.
Leo turns to Casey. "Is this what it's like having a little sister?"
"Yes." Casey replies deadpan, not looking at Leo, as he exhaustedly watches his sister parkour her way to the adjacent rooftop.
That was the night Raphael got a taste of how much you could take. There were a few sticky moments, but creativity and quick thinking got you out of them without issue.
At one point he stopped fighting entirely just to watch you, agape.
After the fight was over, and all the way back home, he was quiet. Not silent, he wasn't rude or off-putting, but he gripped your hand tightly, and said very little. You assumed he was upset about the fact that you were in the fight at all.
That night, after you were both cleaned up, you were sitting on the bathroom counter with him treating your split lip. He was still quiet.
He dabbed at your mouth with antiseptic, not meeting your eyes. You reached up and wrapped a small hand around his wrist to still his movements.
"Are you upset with me?" You asked. You were worried about this, that he would have a problem with you being out there. He never wanted you involved in this part of his life.
He twisted his hand to take your wrist and kissed it, still not looking at you. "No," he'd said softly, before returning the hand to your lap and finishing his work.
Five and a half minutes later, you were walking into your bedroom and he was closing the door behind you.
Once the lock engaged, he placed a hand on the seam between the door and the wall and remained with his back to you. You could see his deep breathing in the rise and fall of his carapace, and the muscles in his shoulders flexed with tension.
"Raph...?" You ventured, hesitantly.
He doesn't move.
"Listen, I know you said you're not upset, but I really feel like maybe we should talk about... oh."
He turned to face you, dark eyes almost flashing in the dim light, and he said nothing, but you could feel the seismic churr in your feet.
A smile tugged at the corner of your mouth, "So... you're not mad, then."
"No..." he said, with his own hidden smile, tossing his towel in the corner without taking his eyes off of you, "not mad..."
This was new, the way he looked at you. Like you were an opponent he was sizing up. You felt his eyes scan over every inch of you. When you shifted your weight, his hands twitched, and you could almost feel them gripping your skin.
The way you fight is so unlike he and his brothers, even though they were the ones who taught you. They have the benefit of strength and size over many of their opponents, but you're fast, and you're clever.
He watched you lead three guys in a dance of such spectacular violence that they ended up bloody without you having to hand a single blow. And when you finally did connect, a smirk turned his lip at the memory and heat flooded his veins, that guy hit the ground hard.
Then you got hit, and he'd immediately taken a fist to the jaw as everything in his mind came to a screeching halt. You hit the ground almost in slow motion and he could smell the blood from your split lip.
Before he could even react, you'd swept that fucker's legs out from under him, and jumped on him, breaking his nose and slamming his head back onto the concrete twice.
Every breath was a bellows as he replayed the fight, watching you dance, and he could feel the blood in his veins boiling.
You didn't stop. You were brutal. Like a tiny whirlwind tearing through the alley. Once it was all over, you looked around, seeming almost disappointed that there were none left. And when you turned your eyes to him with that smug look of self satisfaction...
Fucking hell.
He strode the four steps to you, and you stood your ground, holding his gaze as he grabbed you by the ass and hoisted you up so that your legs were around his waist. He didn't brake stride as you were slammed against the wall and kissed hard.
Picture frames rattled against the wall, and you were vaguely aware of the sound of something shattering below you. His large hands gripped your thighs as he growled and ground himself into you. The realization that there would most likely be bruises later sent white fire spreading through your core.
You pushed off of the wall in a way he wasn't expecting and he stumbled back, falling into the bed and pulling you with him. You straddled his waist and kissed him back just as hard before looking down at him with a wicked smirk at catching him off guard.
A shiver shot down your spine as his eyes narrowed. Before you could react, he hooked his hand under your leg and flipped you on to your stomach, the violent action sending something on the bedside table crashing to the floor. It almost knocked the wind out of you and you clenched around nothing as you landed with a loud grunt.
Reaching up to the waistband of your already soaked pajama shorts, he removed them in one fluid motion before lifting your ass up and pressing his tongue against your folds.
You gasped loudly as his churr reverberated through you. His tongue was relentless. This wasn't foreplay, you'd already done that bit in the alley, this was quick and dirty preparation and nothing more. You could feel his impatience in the way he rutted into the mattress, gripping you hard.
You nearly collapsed as your orgasm crashed over you, his bruising grip being the only thing holding you up.
Giving you no time to recover, he flipped you over, and ripped the drawer from the nightstand, grabbing a spare pocket knife as the drawer crashed somewhere out of sight. A flick of his wrist and your tank top was sliced open and torn from your body. He stopped for just a moment to look down at you, eyes on fire as he drank you in.
But it was just a moment. Lining himself up at your entrance, he buried himself inside you with a groan, before pumping in and out slowly a few times, until your body relaxed around him.
Once he felt you relax, the wicked smirk he gave you made you shiver. Hooking a leg over his hip, he began driving into you so hard the bedframe slammed against the wall. There was another shattering sound and the room was bathed in darkness as the lamp crashed to the ground.
You grabbed hold of the top lip of his plastron and hooked your other leg around his waist, before lifting yourself off the bed and riding him until he rolled both of you over so that you were on top.
Wrapping his hands around your waist, he held you aloft and fucked into you, and the sharp cries of pleasure that he ripped from you only spurred him on. You made a note to find a way to make patrol a regular thing, but that was your last conscious thought before he hit a spot so deep inside you you swear you saw stars being born.
You became a being of pure sensation, every powerful thrust sending you screaming further and faster toward your second release.
Head tipped back and veins in his neck bulging, he growled through clenched teeth. It rumbled through him like an earthquake, sending tremors through you that sent you into the stratosphere.
You didn't even have the presence of mind to warn him before liquid fire shot down your spine. You cried out as it tore through you, and you swear it felt like you were the star being born.
His grip tightened as you clenched around him and he followed suit, your name tearing from his throat in a roar as you milked him dry.
When you came down, you were both breathing hard, and gripping each other tightly. You remained in his lap and he pressed his forehead to yours, "You okay...?" He asked, nervously, "I didn't hurt you did I?"
You shook your head and couldn't help the soft laughter that escaped you, "No..." As you lifted your head and gazed up at him, the glare of early morning light against shattered glass caught your attention and you looked around. "Oh... Oh dear..."
You both took a moment to survey the carnage. It looked like a bomb went off. Shattered glass, ceramic, and splintered wood littered the carpet, there was a hole in the wall behind the bedframe, which was now crooked and probably fully broken, and there were no framed pictures left on the wall.
You met his eyes and he seemed afraid you were going to be mad. But how could you be mad? If this wasn't the best fucking metaphor for your relationship you'd ever come across.
He'd ruined your life completely, in the best possible ways.
You couldn't help it. You started laughing. And you couldn't stop. And then he joined in and you were both laughing with tears streaming down your faces and you kissed him. You kissed him like he's the last person you will ever kiss, and if you have your way he will be.
But that was a *later* conversation. Still is.
For now, your happy enough to just continue to let him be the best of both worlds.
....
You turn your back, you're a broken man
You come around and just dying to shake your hand
I don't expect you to understand
Just keep telling yourself there's no shame
They don't know 'bout who we are
They don't know 'bout you and I
They ain't know 'bout the stars of your eyes
Oh hot blood love is gonna get ya
You wanna prove you're the better man
You wanna reach for the things that nobody can
Oh all you need is to break away, yeah
Just keep telling yourself there's no shame
They don't know 'bout who we are
They don't know 'bout you and I
They ain't know 'bout the stars of your eyes
Oh hot blood love is gonna get ya
Hot Blood, Kaleo
...
Tag list:
@thelaundrybitch @the-cauldron-witch @fyreball66 @ninnosaurus @tmntngl @thegirlwiththeninjaturtletattoos @zagreustomb @ramielll @silverwatergalaxy @gornackeaterofworlds @footninja
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darylsfavoritegirl · 5 months ago
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imagining a fem!reader who had met Erik at some point of her life, maybe during the holocoust and she was someone that scientists experiemented on, she was one of shaw's pupils. though most experiements failed, leaving herself damaged than ever on top of being looked down on as a "malfunction"
after the world war II, your path crossed with Erik and from that on your paths kept crossing with one another.
him leaving for the united states was you didn't know, you weren't informed. he didn't see you fit to let you know.
but somehow charles had pegged you for someone who was a mutant. you asked yourself if it could be.
your relationship would start off quickly. there wouldn't be any "what are we?"s or "are we dating?"s. you just happened to find yourself straddled on his laps, his eyes roaming and savoring every inch of you.
that was his thing: worshipping your body. you could never get the words out of his mouth but his eyes would take care of that.
you'd find yourself on his lap quite frequently. it was the early days of division x, while everybody was still figuring things out, everyone was still distressed.
you knew the moments his mind calmed was when he played chess and when he'd have you sit on his lap, on his bed on late nights.
you'd play with his hair with your fingertips, trace his face. his eyes would be locked on your face, being at awe. you could feel his tenses loosing up during these times, his jaw becoming more and more slacked, his eyes becoming more and more droppy. his grip on your waist loosening and tighening now and then.
god did he love your waist. he was a bigger person than you, his hand was bigger than your waist. he loved to lift you up like a kid, he'd lift you up and sit you down on the countertop, he'd carry you to his bed.
whenever you'd be out with the others to have dinner, he'd make sure you were always besides him, his hand resting on your hips the entire night. his fixed gazes to the staff in division x were spine-chilling. yet that didn't take away them shamelessly flirting with you.
a part of you knew the reason why he got this intimate with you was because you were a part of his life before all this. a casuality, something that comes normal and natural to him.
your immune system was the worst. after being experiemented on for years for no good, your body had given up to make you feel better, even the faintest. he could never bring himself to talk about it directly, you couldn't blame him, he had wounds that were yet to heal but he'd make sure to make you feel good about yourself by saying vague things, reading what could be considered "inspirational" quotes from his favorite books to convey a message to you in an undertone.
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idontknowreallyidontcare · 1 year ago
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Silly Husband!König decided to give it a try to one of Soap’s girlfriend’s ideas. Out with the boys for a beer, he let it slip that in some weeks you’d celebrate your first anniversary and he’s just scared of not being able to make you live a night full of passion, he’s getting a bit old after all.
Some of the girlfriends were trying to give him lots of advice, “don’t watch porn, don’t masturbate, don’t be overly sexual because you might not be able to get it up”, Soap’s girlfriend casually mentions just taking some aphrodisiacs and calling it a night (better if taken some hours before the act, so sexual tension can be built up). Soap ends up telling König how it actually works and how his girlfriend never had a complaint while they used them, just make sure not to exaggerate with the dose/the amount of times you use it.
Husband!König returning home to you, finding your precious self asleep on the couch as his heart starts pounding and blood rushing, he just loves you so much, he will not risk anything to ruin the day of your anniversary. He brings you to your shared bed and gently tucks you in, kissing your temple as he gets out the room, closing the door slowly so he doesn’t wake you up.
Husband!König that spends the night on the computer and researches the topic of aphrodisiacs, writing down every pro and con he finds. He goes thru a list of the safest ones to buy and chooses the absolute best one, paying a good amount of money for it, but it’s all for his sweet lady upstairs, he would pay millions just to make sure she’s safe.
Husband!König that receives his package and runs to hide it asap, so you don’t see or suspect anything. Your anniversary it’s in a week, he can’t risk to ruin the whole surprise. The bottle it’s actually small, or maybe his hands are too big (umm.. DUH?), but he reads the instructions very well, aside from trying to remember what the website he bought this thing from said. A maximum of 2 drops mixed with anything, or just plopped in the mouth and swallowed, if taken more, there was not really any risk, the state of the aphrodisiac would just last longer, but don’t go over 5 drops, it’ll be painful to deal with the effects for DAYS!
Husband!König is getting ready for your dinner, being finally the day of your anniversary, and as you’re still stuck on your make up, he prepares two glasses of champagne for you two to drink before going. Of course he has a reason to, he squeezes, well he tries to, some drops of the aphrodisiac. He’s careful to remember not to go above 5 drops, and decides to be precautious, he’s squeezing in 2 for you, you’re a young lady, your stamina still pretty high, while he gives himself double, 4 drops hoping he didn’t fuck up, still, he’ll think later about consequences. He brings the glasses upstairs to you, and you both drink, you thank him and notice how he is not able to keep his hands off you already. You have to drag him outside the house, or you’re risking your dress ripped off and your makeup destroyed, but it’s still too early for that!!
Husband!König that’s being tasted for the whole duration of the dinner, you caress his hands, your foot seductively touching his leg, running up and down his calf, your eyes focusing on his face and never breaking eye contact, your lips, your voice, everything about you is so sexy and seductive, and he can’t wait to just bring you home and give you a proper fuck, one you’ll never forget, and not because it’s your first anniversary together, but because he really plans to fuck you good, worship you but still get you all dirty and messed up for him. He’s a man of thought, he bought condoms, he has lube, even bought one that tastes like strawberry, he’ll pour it on your pussy and enjoy himself between your legs for a good amount of time. He has cuffs, ropes, toys that you would already regularly use, but tonight he wants to push you to the limits, he’ll probably stick his cock inside your pussy while he fucks your ass with a dildo, he’ll make sure to torture your clit with a vibrator while he fucks your ass, and play with your tits, maybe even sticking his cock between them too! Night’s young and he has a lot of plans, he can tell that his magic drops are working on you also, not just on him, because the moment you both leave the restaurant you’re leeched onto him, grabbing, touching, tracing his body and hungrily kissing his lips when he allows you to. He’s a taste, he’s not lowering himself on purpose just to hear you beg and whine about wanting his lips.
Husband!König who stands on his title as a silly man, because he might be actually good with technology, but why would he not delete the chrome history on a computer he knew very well you were using too. Maybe it was a slip, maybe he really didn’t think that his searches would pop up on the search bar the moment you typed an ‘A’ onto the keyboard, eager to look for ‘Austrian foods’ to make for him, just to have ‘Aphrodisiacs for couples, pros and cons’ pop up as a recent search. Needless to say, you left it be, your silly husband was onto something and you were really exited to see how it would all play out. You knew the moment he brought you the glass of champagne, you knew what he had put inside, and you still drank all of it. Careful not to spill a drop. The night was long ahead, you knew, but were more than happy about it. Feeling your panties already sticking to your folds while in the car was an indicator that the aphrodisiac was indeed in your champagne, and it was working its magic already! Of course he wanted you to suffer a bit by giving it to you before dinner, but he mostly wanted to edge himself, force himself to have you all wet and ready for him the whole time you were at the restaurant, having to wait till back home to have you in every place and position he wanted.
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sturniolobsessed · 5 months ago
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NSFW ALPHABET - C.STURNIOLO
Warnings : SMUTT, swearing
Summary : A NSFW alphabet about Chris
Authors Note : I don’t know what order I’m gonna post these in but there is gonna be a Matt and Chris SFW version as well. Also, please let me know if you want me to add you to my taglist <3
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A - Aftercare (What are they like after sex)
Chris is more playful and flirtatious but still sweet. He likes to caress your body and just worship you.
B - Body part (Their and your favourite body part of each others)
His favourite body part of yours is your eyes and your ass. He likes your eyes because he could stare into your eyes all day and your ass for obvious reasons. Your favourite body part of his is his hands because you think the veins are hot and you also like how it feels inside of you.
C - Cum (Anything to do with cum)
He would lowk want you to swallow it but if you don’t want to, he ofc ain’t gonna force you.
D - Dirty Secret (What is a dirty secret of theirs)
I think he would have a bit of a breeding kink but only if you’re on the pill because he isn’t ready for that kind of commitment yet.
E - Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)
Kid has like 1-2 bodies but not like too much. He is a quick learner so whatever he doesn’t really know, he learns quick.
F - Favourite position (Goes without saying)
Chris is hitting backshots all the time but he lowk loves it when you ride him - he still finds a way to be the dominant one. He would also kinda fw missionary when he is feeling cutesy.
G - Goofy (Are they more serious or goofy in the moment?)
Chris is like permanently making jokes but he definitely doesn’t do it as much during sex. He would probably make a joke every now and again if the sex is getting a little dry but other than that, not really.
H - Hair (How well trimmed are they? Does the carpet match the drapes?)
He def has a bit but he would absolutely hate it when it gets too long. He also has a happy trail bc you can see it when he’s shirtless
I - Intimacy (How intimate are they in the moment?)
He loves sweet yet passionate make outs and it would 9 times out of 10 turn into something more.
J - Jerking off (Masturbation)
Chris would only pleasure himself if you’re not there to do it - which, imo, isn’t very often but if he was to do it, he’s moaning your name.
K - Kinks (What kinks do they have?)
As confirmed in one of their recent streams, Chris is an ass guy so I think he would love to slap your ass in bed and also just when he feels like it but other than that, I think it’s mainly just the classics. Also, he is 99% of the time dom.
L - Location (Their fav place/s to do it)
If Chris is horny, he will fuck you in most places. You’ve probably fucked on every surface in the warehouse, his room, probably the kitchen and living room. He is also not afraid to fuck you in the bathroom in a restaurant or somewhere in public but that doesn’t mean that he wants to be caught. He’s just horny. He’s acc really terrified of getting caught.
M - Motivation (What gets them going?)
He is a sucker for you in a short ass skirt, once again, so he can see your ass and he also loves when you sit on his lap. Obviously, if your just casually sat on his lap, cuddled into him, he’s less likely to get turned on but if you’re like, touching his chest, kissing him etc, he’d always have you sat on his lap. Also, before you start worrying, he don’t care how much you weigh.
N - No (Things they’re not open to in bed)
The same as Matt, he would never in a million years let you peg him but other than that, he’s open to most everything. He’s probably not too welcoming of like.. crazy shit but if there’s something you wanna try, of course he’ll do it.
O - Oral (Are they good at it? Do they prefer to give or receive?)
I think Chris would prefer to revive head, although he loves to make you feel good, because he loves to see you on your knees for him, doing as he says. He thinks it’s the hottest thing. And yes, of course he’s good at it.
P - Pace (Do they prefer sweet and sensual or fast and rough?)
Chris would probably prefer fast and rough, more fast than rough because he still doesn’t want to hurt you, but he also likes sweet and sensual when you or him have had a bad day and just want some sweet sex. Also, if you’re having morning sex, it’s only sweet and sensual because he’s tired.
Q - Quickie (Their opinion on quickies and how often?)
He would probably prefer to take his time with it and tease you, kiss you, touch you etc but he is definitely not against a quickie when it’s necessary.
R - Risk (Are they willing to take risks?)
Chris is very open to new things if you want to do them because he wants to make you feel good. As I said earlier, if it’s not too crazy, he’ll do it for you.
S - Stamina (How many rounds? How long do they last?)
He can go for 3-4 rounds but 5 if you haven’t had sex in a while. He lasts a perfectly average time but will definitely touch you and kiss you in between rounds so that you still feel good. He will also ask you to do the same for him.
T - Toys (Do they own toys? If so, how many and which ones?)
There is no doubt in my mind that Chris has like a fleshlight or something and then some stuff for you to make you feel good. He would probably have a vibrator but not a dildo because he wants his dick to be the only one to make you feel good lmao.
U - Unfair (Do they like to tease? If so, how much?)
His entire idea of foreplay is just teasing and getting you to just before you cum and then pulling away, leaving you whining for his touch. There is a good chance that he has reduced you to tears, just wanting to be touched.
W - Wild Card (A random headcannon)
He loves to just watch you touch yourself either while he touches himself as well or just watching, almost teasing himself because he wants to touch you but he won’t let himself.
X - X-Ray (What have they got going on under their clothes?)
We’ve already lowk seen what he’s got going on because of this video so from that, I’d say like 7 inches. He’s big but not too much.
Y - Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)
Chris is very horny when he wants to be and when I tell you, when he wants it, there’s slim to nothing that will stop him. You would most likely have sex like 3-4 times a week and sometimes more.
Z - Zzz (How fast do they fall asleep after?)
He wouldn’t fall asleep straight away after because he wants to cuddle and stuff but he would be worn out afterwards.
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Taglist : @astrolynnworld @moncherriis @mattybsbitch @mangoposts @sturniolo0ntop @bluesturniolo333 @mattyssluttt @strnzzvsp @sturnsem @iluvm4ttsturni0l0 @loud-sturniolos @iheartmattsbeard @sturnsaver @sturnsdarling @sturnioloslife @stuniolvs @iheartmattsturniolosstuff @33sturniolo @sturnsxx
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rebee-sweetie · 11 months ago
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*Slight smut and some fluff*
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Bakugo can be such an ass. During the times he does his patrols and hero work he is honest to God, a jackass. Constantly yelling at pedestrians and his friends working along side him. His pride becoming of him. Even though he’s aged and matured in his adult years, not much changed in his mannerisms. Bakugo’s a top Pro Hero but still doesn’t realize kindness isn’t a weakness. But when you are doing hero work with him or doing a patrol he is so much worse. The yelling and degrading is constant. Even though the public knows you’re both in a relationship, it sure as hell doesn’t look like it. In the public eye he’s constantly telling you to,
“Keep up!”
“Ur’ such an damn idiot!”
“Fuck you!”
“DIE!”
The list could continue on. But today you had stepped a little too close to Katsuki and it just set him off. It was like you could see a nuclear bomb go off in this man’s eyes. A large, gloved hand palmed your face and pushed you away. His face seething and eyes burning a dark crimson. Bakugo’s eyebrows were knitted together and his glare was sharp as daggers. You felt like you could choke on the tension in the air as people around you watched the sight unfold. His thick fingers gripped at your rosy cheeks as he chewed your ear off about not paying attention to where you were walking. The chewing became a lecture on how letting your focus wander is an opportunity for a villain to take advantage. That was until Kiri stepped in and scolded him on talking that way to his significant other. But all you could do was smile. Because you knew something everyone else didn’t.
Your Suki was rough and angry on the outside, but he had a huge soft spot for you. When it was just the two of you, he was incredibly sweet and gentle. A side no one but you were allowed to. There were constantly flowers in your apartment sent from Bakugo. He always knew when they were starting to wilt because a new bouquet of flowers would be at your doorstep. The card would always read:
“Only the finest for my prettiest and only sweetheart.”
He knew your favorite flowers, foods, colors, and even childhood memories. When he first laid eyes on you, he knew he wanted you, your body, everything. He was going to have you. He was going to make you his and his alone. He made it his mission to know everything about you. He constantly spoiled you and when you’d casually mention something was cute or nice, you’d see it appear in your apartment quickly after. He loved cuddling you every chance he got, pulling you on top of his chest when laying on his couch. Overtime, he would slowly move you into his home, too prideful to come out and ask you to move in.
So even though you got the same treatment as everyone else in public, you were being treated like a Princess in private. You loved it, and even though he was rough with you when others were watching, there was never a bruise or scratch on you contrary to what some of the media might say. He was an asshole but he wasn’t abusive.
The cuddles were sweet but the kisses from him were even sweeter. His lips and skin like honey to you. He worshiped your body away from the prying eyes of the public. He knew each and every curve like the back of his hand. Sex with Katsuki wasn’t just hot but out of this world. He wasn’t lying about being naturally gifted at everything. His body always seemed to move so perfectly in line with yours and he knew your body in ways even you didn’t. When he was finished with you, you’d see stars. Sometimes he’d get you so good you’d wonder if you had seen God. You became a drug to him that he simply couldn’t get enough of. But in public, he didn’t know what to do with himself. He would rather die than show the world he could be soft. His whole personality was jagged like the callouses and scars that littered his body. You thought that maybe the reason he acted this way is because he was terrified of the idea of having vulnerabilities to the creatures that lured in the dark, waiting, praying for his downfall.
All you knew is that you loved the way he was, and you wanted nothing to change. You were extremely content being loved so passionately in the darkness. Because at the end of the day, that was your man and you were his woman. You even had the markings on your body to prove it.
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deathmetalunicorn1 · 1 month ago
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hello and may I request on ROR, one shot or hcs?
Poseidon with Reader as Amphitrite. Poseidon as a Yandere & Reader as a Tsundere. In their 1st meeting, when Poseidon looking for marriage and seeing Reader (having a loving side only her family & the aquatic creatures, but showing a tough side when dealing those who are trying to court her or hurting loved ones).
-Poseidon had been searching for a marriage partner, someone to call his own and who would help him run his kingdom by his side. The only issue was that Poseidon was rather picky, only wanting the best of the best, as nothing else would do for the King of the Seas.
-There was only one individual who fit all his requirements and desires, you. You were a prideful and powerful person, but also kind and devoted to your family and those you cared about.
-During your first meeting with Poseidon he believed you were what many called ‘shy’ as you weren’t really speaking with him casually, as he wanted, you only spoke when spoken to, as your father and mother warned you not to upset Poseidon as he was known for his temper.
-Poseidon was quick to realize this wasn’t the case when he saw you beating down a lowly god who tried to go after one of your sisters, and despite being in a lovely gown, you beat him senseless with a spear you took from one of Poseidon’s guards.
-You were a fierce person, but he could see the love you had for others, he wanted that love as well. He wanted you to be so fiercely devoted and protective of him as well, and in turn he would give you everything you desired and more.
-The more time spent with you the more he realized that you cared in your own special way, being what Zeus called a tsundere, being a bit crass with your love, but you were just putting up a front to keep your family safe, and Poseidon fell for you more and more each time he spent with you.
-You were a bit put off by his affection and adoration towards you, wondering why he was so soft and sweet with you, but with others, like those who would threaten or bother you, he was like a demon about to raze the earth for you, willing to make anyone kneel before you to beg for your forgiveness, because without it, Poseidon wouldn’t forgive them either.
-You fell for Poseidon over time, while he fell for you within that first meeting the two of you shared, and you were married within the year.
-Poseidon originally was looking for a partner to stand by his side, but you proved that you were much more than a partner, you deserved to be on a pedestal, one that everyone could worship and admire you from, one that only he could dare to touch.
-You were Poseidon’s love, his reason for living and ruling, you were his. And may all the gods in Valhalla pray if any were to harm you while he still drew breath.
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circeius-invidioso · 10 months ago
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I do not get why the Red Corsairs are not a popular choice.
Like.
Like here is the elevator pitch for the warband and then we can come to some justified conclusion.
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What isn't there to love?
You want me to turn into an infomencial and make a top 3 reasons why the Red Corsairs are great?
Cause I can.
And I will.
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The Diverse Working Enviroment
Here in the Red Corsairs we might have started as Ultramarines but the barrier for entry is on the floor. So anyone can join.
You are Night Lord with a bad rep and no ship.
Buckle up we got you covered.
You are a Fallen and have 20 Dark Angels all up in yo business? Trying to shoot down the boss babe you are?
Fear not, or in our case. Know no Fear. We are strapped and don't get clapped.
You are a traitor that likes their Legion but sadly you got in our way?
Tough luck buddy, you will join or die and your geene seed will join our cause. Nothing personal battle brother. Just business as usual.
Everyone is welcome as long as they follow Huron's guidelines and don't aggitate the topless sweaty Khorne worshipping Ultramarines in the basement.
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Sustainability
Unlike the corrupt Imperium of man and the corpse Emperor our leader is powered by miracles (which is trully a miracle how he survived but that on the next section), and we use 0 psyckers to power our crap.
Our carbon footprint is also minimum as we use salvaged goods and don't indulge in toxic industries that destroy worlds.
The Red Corsair base of operation is in the Eye of Terror and from there we expand our scope. A place greatly known for its constant shifts, and horrible conditions but the tan our serfs have are spectacullar from all that cosmic radiation.
Finally we are commited to recycling. As in we take from our victims benefactors and put those stolen goods to some great use. Nothing goes to waste, neither mortal, nor static object. If something is not nailed on the floor we will take it.
In fact we might take the floor too and the nails used to set it in place.
Nothing goes to waste!
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Unmatched Leadership
Last, but certainly not least.
The man.
The myth.
The Legend.
Huron Blackheart.
Aka Lufgt Huron.
Aka what would happen if we gave a compressed Guilliman a daemonic familiar and left him to ferment in a warp storm.
Not only the name is so edgy you might cut yourself by saying it out loud. But also it's complex enough that if you say it quickly three times without twisting your tongue theres is a chance furniture might start levitating.
The man has put his Ultramarine brain to use and amased enough influence and power to put the Black Legion to shame.
Huron went from 0 to 100 in no time, he is a self made Warmaster. With no daddy issues or troubles in the world, he goes into battle blasting Alestorm in the voxxcasters.
He does not care.
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He probably wears this when he wants to relax.
You think he cares?
He does not care.
He has a biker gang specifically organized to hunt down those who have betrayed him.
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They slap those things on their armors not for the usual biker reason
(which fun fact the meaning is, 99% of the bikers are law-abiding, where the 1% are not. That's where the 1% comes from. The more you know 🌈)
no they wear that 1% because that's how high are your chances of escaping from them are.
Is that a bit extreme?
Yes.
You think he cares?
He does not care.
The dude once gathered his buddies and decided...
to you know. Have a casual outing. Nothing too serious, it was a sunday afteral.
So they decided on.
Kidnapping Guilliman.
Which they almost did if not for a Fallen of all people getting in the way.
But still.
The mad lad took Macragge's Honour and went on a joyride/ mini civil war.
Who in the galaxy can turn and say.
Yeah, I stole Macragge's Honour, almost captured my old Primarch. Told a daemon prince they are irrelevant on my way there. Anyway after crushing a fool who thought he could take my crown as king of the space pirates, I went to the home planet of the White Scars and kidnapped and tortured their Chapter Master. What did you do this week? 💅
Who wouldn't want to be a part of that?
You tell me I can be an immortal, gorgeous chaos Ultramarine goth boy going on pirate adventures across the galaxy?
Where do I sign up?
I don't need ink for a signature.
I will use my own blood.
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youremyheaven · 2 years ago
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Fated Love in Astrology
So, every person has a divine partner that they are meant to be with. Your union with your other half (I hesitate to use the world “twin flame” only because of how misconstrued it is in mainstream astrology/spirituality discourse) depends entirely on both of your individual spiritual awakening and commitment to the spiritual path.
In astrology, the 7th house represents marriage, or, as I like to call it “union”. The 7th house, is the 7th house from the 1st house. It is the descendant to your ascendant. It is the shadow to your ego. Whenever we cross paths with an individual whose luminaries fall to our 7th house, it creates a very magnetic & intense attraction. It’s almost inexplicable what you feel for each other.
With that said, this sort of connection is not logical or rational. It defies all norms. The key to recognizing your divine partner is the intense attraction you feel towards them right away. There is no hesitation or second guessing, you’re simply awestruck by them. Nowadays, we all have a very tedious approach to relationships (due to our collective trauma and bad experiences), everybody walks around with a checklist to find someone who will fit their criteria but that is not how Divine Love works. You just know instantly that there is something different about this connection. That is not to say, the nature of the relationship will be easy. Fated connections are never easy and not everyone is meant to find their Divine Partner. 
When such a person comes into your life, it usually triggers your ego death; they become responsible for you losing the shell of identity you held close to you. All your fears, your shame, your vulnerability comes to the forefront and you have to confront everything you’ve ever repressed. It leads to a dissolution of self. 
In Sufism, there is the concept of “fanaa” which can be translated to “annihilation”. In order to merge oneself with God, it is first necessary to annihilate everything that you consider to be you. It’s important to "to die before one dies". Love & Worship are very closely intertwined. This is exactly what “twin flame” connection feels like. You rid yourself of your ego, you dissolve your sense of “self”. Sounds intense? That’s because it is. It irks me when people talk about twin flames in a casual way because a) not everyone has a twin flame b) this is not a fun experience in any way, shape or form c)This is the least casual of experiences
(I am using the word twin flame here only because it is a term that more people are familiar with, I wanted to speak of the spiritual background of that experience whilst using a term that’s already familiar)
In Jungian psychology, there is the concept of anima/animus, which refer to the unconscious masculine aspect of a woman and the unconscious feminine aspect of a man respectively. One aspect of being a “whole” human being is to integrate these unconscious parts into yourself. This is similar to what a twin experiences, your other half seems to be in the shadow, hidden from your view, crossing paths with them, brings that realization to you and now in order to unite with them, you must first dissolve yourself and merge with that unconscious image of them. 
There is a reason why twins “mirror” each other; they are a reflection of you and vice versa. This is why every interaction with them strikes a nerve in you and you feel their absence like a phantom limb. 
If you’re on a twin flame journey or would like to know more about it, I suggest immersing yourself in Sufi philosophy. To a lay person, the Sufi concept of Love may seem dramatic and over the top but for those in the know, it will seem deeply familiar, because ultimately your longing and yearning for your “twin” is your innate longing to seek union with God/the Divine. We were all made in pairs and to know the other is to know God and to know God is to know Love.
These connections are presented to you in order for you to ascend. Why were you chosen for ascension over millions of others? That’s the divine plan, not up to us to question. It is entirely possible to meet such a person at a time in your life when you’re completely spiritually unevolved (this is very common) and they usually trigger your dark night of the soul. This leads to positive disintegration although nothing about this experience feels positive in any way, shape or form.
Actually uniting with your twin and sharing a life with them is a long shot. Its often an unrequited love. It requires A LOT of work by both people. There is a lifetime of purging, integration and inner work before union could ever be a possibility. Most people who use the term “twin flame” are using a fancy spiritual label to describe their excessive interest in someone. You don’t have a twin flame, you’re just manic. 
In Arabic literature, there are 7 stages to love, it is as follows:
1. Dilkashi or attraction
2. Uns or attachment
3. Mohabbat or love
4. Akidat or reverence 
5. Ibadat or worship
6. Junoon or madness
7. Maut or death
If you believe you’re experiencing a twin flame connection, you have probably gone through these stages, maybe not in this order but you’ve probably experienced all of these. 
You experience an inexplicable attraction that draws you to them, regardless of how far you stray from them, your heart clings to them & forms a deep attachment, even though you don't seem to understand it, you're consumed by love for them, without even knowing why, this love morphs itself into reverence and soon enough it's eclipsed even that & embedded itself as worship. Your feelings for them are so strong, intense and powerful even in separation, even in their absence that you feel yourself going mad. This madness is key because it brings you to the death of "self". You lose all sense of who you were before you met them. You're ripped of your ego. You die and die and die again, hoping to taste the love that will give life to you.
There are astrological indicators obviously but just because these aspects/placements are present, does not mean they are your twin flame. The biggest indicator is the deep sense of knowing you have in your soul, you don’t even have to know the word “twin flame”, you’re experiencing a magnetic, excruciating and tortuous kind of attraction. 
Some indicators:
1. Venus in 12h 
2. Venus in Scorpio
3. Primary Scorpio or Taurus placements (the Taurus-Scorpio axis creates the most intense chemistry between two people)
4. Moon conjunct Mars 
5. Opposite signs occupying many placements (Virgo-Pisces, Cancer-Capricorn, Gemini-Sagittarius)  
5. 7h synastry 
6. Bharani nakshatra 
Uniting with your twin can trigger your kundalini awakening. It is not for the faint of heart. Union is a very intense experience. Much has been said about twin flames and tantric sex. Imo? What we call Tantric sex is essentially the heightened feeling and intensity of sexual experience that a Tantric practice brings about. (its possible to feel this way with a non-twin if you have a disciplined Tantric practice). 
Sex is the source and root of everything. It is the cause of creation and nothing less than divine. Eros is the first god that could be conceived by man, he is the creator of all beings and ruler of the universe. He is son of Chaos, the original primeval emptiness of the universe.
Longing, desire and Eros, all go hand in hand. When your soul has longed for someone for so long, the sheer passion and enormity of desire will make it a very one of a kind experience. Short answer being that sex with your twin will be out of this world and life changing.
In Sufism, there is a concept called baqaa which is subsistence through God. Someone who has experienced fanaa, or annihilation of the ego and self, finds God, unites with him and sees him in everything. This is what love of a “twin flame” nature does. It is all consuming and potent, you cannot walk away from it, even brushing with it briefly, transforms you. It purifies you and strips you of your pride, shame, fears and everything that you thought was “you” but the reward for this is understanding through first hand knowledge, a love so all encompassing, expansive, deep and profound that it forever alters the way you look at the world. You begin to love everything and everyone because you’ve tasted true love and its generosity. 
Karmic Partnerships
These are extremely common and almost everyone has one. They need not strictly be romantic. Many non-romantic associations can be karmic. These people to put it very plainly, come into your life, to teach you lessons. They need not explicitly be “bad relationships” but the energy is definitely not light hearted and its absolutely not meant to last a lifetime. You are meant to learn your lessons and move on from them and break the karmic cycle. However there are people who do not do this and stay stuck in the same patterns and perpetuate the same cycles.
Some indicators of Karmic Partnerships in astrology:
1. 12h synastry
2. 8h synastry 
3. Saturn aspects 
4. Capricorn/Libra placements
Soulmates
These are the most wholesome, fulfilling bonds between two people. Soulmates need not always be romantic. The bond is kind of instant and inexplicable. You just get each other. It feels fulfilling, empowering and light. It fills you up. There is no angst and there’s no chaos. 
Some indicators:
1. Moon signs that are compatible with each other
2. Moon aspects that are positive
3. Venus-Ascendant aspects
4. 5h synastry
5. Strong Venus or Jupiter aspects
6. Element compatibility (fire & air vs water & earth)
🧜🏼‍♀️🧜🏼‍♀️🧜🏼‍♀️🧚🏼‍♂️🧚🏼‍♂️🧚🏼‍♂️🦋🦢🦢🦢🦋🧚🏼‍♂️🧚🏼‍♂️🧜🏼‍♀️🧜🏼‍♀️🧜🏼‍♀️🧜🏼‍♀️🧚🏼‍♀️🧚🏼‍♀️🧚🏼‍♀️🦋🦋🦢🦢🦢🧜🏼‍♀️🧜🏼‍♀️🧜🏼‍♀️
I’m sorry if I sound a little too esoteric on this post 😭😭😭idk how else to talk about this stuff and I tried my best to make it sound as simple as I could 😭I hope this was interesting and if you guys have any questions feel free to ask me💛💛
Further reading:
1. Plato’s Symposium
2. Sufi philosophy and poetry 
3. Carl Jung’s works
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adeleoflochnes · 5 months ago
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Jonathan Sims - headcanons Part 1
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Hope you'll like it, hope you'll enjoy it
summary: Jonathan Sims x gn reader headcanons
Part 2 - Jonathan Sims - NSFW headcanons
https://www.tumblr.com/adeleoflochnes/763717873602625536/jonathan-sims-headcanons?source=share
SFW
it doesn't matter whether or not the tea you made him is good. From you? He'll drink and eat anything you make him. At least in front of you, later he'll probably throw it out but never for you to notice. He admires the proud look on your face too much to ruin it by telling you it tastes like trash ( if it's good though, he'll worship it and secretly won't accept it from anyone else than you)
he steals glances... he does it all the time but if you look up while sensing his gaze on you? He ensures you won't catch him staring
he absolutely cannot focus when you're close to him. Like if you were to help him, sooner or later he'll politely ask you to let him do it himself, cause he can't get any shit done (definitely not when your hair is hanging so cutely around your face while looking through the files, Jon wishes nothing more than to tuck those loose strands behind your ear)
he huffs when jealous. It's the most annoyed huff he can pull when he sees the other man in the archives making you laugh or touching you. He wants your attention on him only, but will never say a word about it (he despises the hugs you're giving to everyone, they're so soft and warm, he wants to be the only one who gets to enjoy them)
his job is dangerous and you are the last person he wants to end up hurting. When he realised that pushing you away won't work, he makes sure your work schedule does. You're always investigating some unimportant stuff, while he's off to figuring out evil things, almost dying in the process
his protective mode goes on 100% when Elias is near you. he already hates that man for biding you to the archives. So he tries to protect you from getting deeper involved. This is why every time Elias talks to you, Jon needs your immediate assistance with some urgent project (he never misses the opportunity to shoot death glares at Elias while walking you away)
he walked you home many times. Jonathan tells himself that it's because he wants to make sure you're safe but it's not the main reason. It's just that when he's tired after a long day in the archives, he enjoys the little talks he can share with you and he doesn't want that to change. He doesn't want to come back to his lonely and silent home. Jon cherishes every extra minute he gets to spend with you
Jonathan is a touch-starved man. He loves the hugs you give. when you wrap your warm arms around him, it feels like home. Your hugs are his safe place, where he's comfortable and gets to let your scent engulf him. He often rubs his nose in your hair (when you surprize him with a hug from behind he's the happiest man on Earth)
loves to be the little spoon but if you need extra comfort he lets you lay on his chest, and listen to his breathing and heartbeat... he strokes your hair, and body, says reassurances, kisses your head or just lays in silence holding you. It depends on what you need the most
he controls his temper around you. Trying very hard to never raise his voice at you, or offend you. Jon could be trembling with annoyance or rage but won't shout at the person he loves. He's better than that (He probably snaps at the first person who unfortunately walks through the door)
let you play with his hair. At first, he's a bit jumpy because he isn't used to someone touching his hair but he ends up liking it. (actually gets so used to it, he doesn't even realize you're stroking his hair. He's casually talking to somebody and gets super confused by the way they're staring at him...)
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beta-therapy · 5 months ago
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Do women prefer loyal nice guys or alpha jerks?
Every woman just needs a man who’s loyal, right? Your crush is constantly ranting on social media about how some “player” won’t text her back, some guy who gives her no attention and doesn’t care about her. It’s almost like he just used her for sex and then moved on to the next girl.
You think “I would never treat her like that. I would be emotionally available for her, and I would always respond when she texts or calls me. I’m the solution to all her boy problems she’s ranting about. I’m not like those other guys who treat her like garbage.”
So then why aren’t you dating her? Has she just not realized you’re the good guy she’s been looking for?
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“Aha!” you say, “I just need to show her how much I care about her! Then she would finally realize what it truly means to be treated like a princess. She would see that I’m the only guy who treats her how she really deserves!”
But this doesn’t work out according to plan. You get into a conversation with her (if you even make it that far), and start making the point: “I don’t understand why some guys hook up with so many girls without even getting to know them. I’d rather be in love with one special woman and give her the world.”
“Awe that’s sweet,” she responds, “the world needs more guys like you.”
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But no matter how many times you express that you’re different than the other guys, and no matter how many times she calls you sweet, it never goes anywhere. You might try to flirt or use physical gestures to build sexual tension, but she always puts it down immediately. She makes it clear she just sees you as a friend at most (hopefully without having to say that out loud). You notice how uncomfortable she is whenever you try to escalate, so you don’t even bother trying to ask her out because you already know the answer.
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“What happened?” You wonder, “All she talks about is how she wants a loyal, attentive guy, so how come she has no interest in me?”
You’ve made the mistake of vastly underestimating how smart women are. You didn’t need to start explaining how you would never cheat on a woman. She already knows she could have you wrapped around her finger and you would never cheat on her. She doesn’t care, because she also knows the reason why you wouldn’t cheat is because you can’t! Because who else would fuck you?
When you compared yourself to the most recent “Chad” she’s had sex with, and you said you don’t understand why he likes casual sex with many partners instead of just settling down with one special woman, she saw right through your act. She knows the reason you aren’t sexually active with all those women is because they would all reject you.
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We now understand the answer to the question in the title. The reason women do not fuck nice guys is because there’s nothing attractive about a harmless man. That just means he’s weak. Conversely, women spread their legs for manipulative cheaters all the time, not because being a “manipulative cheater” is necessarily attractive, but because women intensely prefer to fight for crumbs of attention from a powerful man instead of being worshipped by a harmless one.
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baekhyunsbestie · 17 days ago
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omg lisaaa thots on fwb!baek pls!!!!!
omgggggg fwb!baek is a fave of mine for sure 😭😭😭😭
i picture it starts with that effortless connection. the kind of friendship that feels like it’s always been, easy and natural, like breathing in sync. but then, almost without notice, the boundaries begin to soften. your thighs brush against each other on the couch, not out of necessity, but because neither of you pulls away, the space between you shrinking as if it was destined to. his hands? they find their way to your waist more often, casual touches that feel like muscle memory, as though they’ve always known where to rest. and your fingers? they slip into his hair, curling at the nape, absently tracing the strands, as if they’ve always belonged there. when your friends tease him about it, he just laughs it off, shrugging it off as being simply touchy people—maybe a little more so with each other—because, after all, you’re best friends. it feels so natural, like it’s been this way from the very start.
anyway, baekhyun isn’t the best at understanding his own feelings. he can’t quite grasp why his stomach flips when your laughter echoes in the room, or why his skin seems to hum with warmth when he catches sight of you bending over, unaware of the weight of his gaze.
it’s all foreign to him, this pull between you. he doesn’t know how to name it, doesn’t know what to do with the way you’ve slowly, quietly woven yourself into the very fabric of his life.
but it's when his lips meet yours for the first time that the weight of everything hits him like a tidal wave. he's in love with you. he realizes he's been falling for you, maybe since the very beginning, with every shared laugh, every lingering glance, every moment that felt like it was just yours and his.
and when he sinks into the tight, heat of you just minutes later, the truth brands itself into him with searing clarity: he's absolutely, irreversibly fucked.
not that he even cares.
not one bit.
and when he’s buried deep inside you, your sweet, breathless moans filling the air, every sensation becomes a drug. the way your soft lips and delicate fingers trail over his skin, the tight embrace of your legs locked around his waist, and the way your warm, gummy walls squeeze and milk around his thick cock—it’s utterly overwhelming. it’s pure, unfiltered fucking euphoria. nothing he’s ever known even brushes the edges of this feeling, and he’s drowning in it, utterly helpless. pussydrunk doesn’t begin to cover it; he’s utterly consumed by you, intoxicated in a way that no amount of logic or reason could pull him from. if this is all you’ll ever let him have—just fleeting moments as fwb—he’ll take it, no questions asked. as long as he can lose himself between your thighs, as long as you’ll let him worship you like this, nothing else in the world could ever matter.
god, he's pathetic.
he can't tell you all of this, though. he shouldn't. it'd make everything messy, complicated—maybe even unbearable. he can't risk losing you, his best friend, the person who anchors him in ways no one else ever has. so instead, he pours every unspoken word, every forbidden emotion, into the way he touches you, the way he fucks you. he shows you he loves you like he's meant to, like his body was designed to fit yours and yours his.
he knows you might not feel the same, might not see him the way he sees you. and yet, it doesn’t matter—not right now. as long as he gets to love you like this, even in silence, even without promises, it’s enough.
your feelings will catch up to his eventually... won’t they? they have to.
they just have to.
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yellowocaballero · 8 months ago
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Continuing the JJK posting: Gojo is such a mystifying character.
Action show where swinging out the gate you introduce a character who is so incredibly powerful you then have to, before every fight, establish why Gojo can't just show up and fix the problem in seconds. His existence weakens the stakes of everything. The rest of the show you are backflipping ridding yourself of him. He jobs two major bad guys off the gate and every subsequent extensive fight with them feels like cleaning up his leftovers. Put him in a box, he's ruining the game balance. So absolutely broken. As a writer it makes your job so difficult, but it's also the entire point of him. "Hey I want to write the single most badass character of all time who can do the most insane shit but I will also engage with that", rock on king.
I think he's most interesting when understood as somebody who is fundamentally alien and removed from ordinary human thought processes. In his world there is absolutely nothing he cannot do, and the thought 'maybe I can't do something' just doesn't occur to him. He is capable of doing whatever he wants and of killing anybody who tries to stop him from doing what he wants. If he is not doing something, it is because he does not want to do it. If he wants to do something (kill all of his superiors) and he's not doing it, it's because he doesn't think it's the most effective route towards what he has decided to do. I think this informs the majority of his actions (and, importantly, what he doesn't do)(murder). I think he's reasoned out that you should have a general reason to do things, and it feels like sheer luck that he places value and meaning in human life, and as such you shouldn't kill them without a strong reason. Watching the flashback arc, if I hadn't seen a) JJK and b) Naruto and you asked me which shitty teen became a law abiding school teacher and which became a mass murderer I would have guessed the wrong ones.
Anyway, the way I like to think of him, he's a raging narcissist with a god complex to match. Horrifically, he's actually a good teacher, but he is also a teacher as an ego/'raising my child army' thing. He would be the kind of mother who is a good mother but lowkey had kids also as an ego/unconditional love/lots of attention/'surely my child will worship me' thing. Gets randomly into new hobbies, obsesses over them, gorges himself on the novelty factor, before dropping them in a week once he gets too good at them. Rinse and repeat. The only hobby that does not eventually grow boring is annoying people, so it's his only hobby. Geto told him age 15 that he'll never have any friends if he keeps on casually reminding people that they live on his sufferance, so he developed another back-up hobby more conducive for friendship of helping people forget that they live on his sufferance. This has convinced him that he's a god of subterfuge, intrigue, and trickery. Does eat women out, but is convinced that this makes him God's gift to women, and is actually pretty terrible in bed because his partner's desires never even occur to him. Is convinced he's as good at sex as he is everything else. Sex is actually the one thing he's bad at, but he's not ready to hear that.
In S1 he overall left me with the general impression that his entire idea of how high school worked was sourced from anime, and as such decided that being a teacher involved nothing but field trips, sports games, beach episodes, sports festivals, etc. Did not know how the classroom component worked so he skips it. Jossed, but also left me convinced that it would be very funny if he was an immortal 150-whatever years old and had founded the high school himself out of, you guessed it, an ego thing, and never once properly learned how high schools worked and just arbitrarily made his own aging students the new principals so he could continue engaging in training the kids who are too Misfit (TM) to get apprenticeships and living his fun slice of life anime life and raising a child army of kids who will worship him any day now. Annnyyyy day now. Any day now.
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