#and there's even tears oh my god

[joongdunking]

One minute of pain with Fadel 💔

Not him confessing and kissing Style after knowing the truth.... 😢 While Style is just being happily in love...

Look at Fadel hugging Style tighter when he could no longer hold back his tears..... I'm broken 💔💔💔

And the fact that Style will probably never know Fadel cried at this very moment......

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Why are you running?

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[mochasucculent]

I'm rewatching Arcane, and after my third time seeing season 1 I had a hot new reading on Viktor's scenes in episodes 6, 7, and 8.

Like a lot of other people, I felt it was weird and unsavory that Viktor - very close to death with a disease that affects his lungs - suddenly starts experimenting on his disabled leg. Those two things have nothing in common, save for the fact that the cause of both might have been the toxic fumes of the undercity, which could have resulted in Viktor being born disabled if his parents were also subject to those conditions.

So why does Viktor try to "fix" his leg when his main goal is to utilize the Hexcore to prolong and improve living conditions before he's gone?

Viktor in acts 2 and 3 is motivated to save himself long enough to make a difference in the world. Even though Hextech is revolutionary for Piltover, it hasn't reached who Viktor wanted to help this whole time, the disenfranchised in the undercity. In his mind, he hasn't done enough to change the world for the better, and he will be gone before he has the chance to do so.

After realizing the Hexcore responded to organic matter when it absorbed Viktor's blood, he experiments with plants, only to find that they wither and die soon after the Hexcore makes them grow.

This causes him to visit Singed once again for anything that could help him figure out how to use the Hexcore for magic that could save lives, one last shot at accomplishing his dreams.

Viktor parted ways with with him as a child upon seeing that Singed was willing to hurt Rio, his salamander test subject, in order to prolong her life. Viktor didn't understand that cost before, but he does now, being in the same position as Singed and Rio simultaneously, both the scientist trying to make a breakthrough and the subject he needs to save in order to do so.

Like Rio, Viktor is not his own end goal to his scientific pursuits. Singed is trying to save his daughter, Viktor is trying to help his people. He's his own means to an end, and is now willing to pay the cost of getting there.

Singed gives Viktor a variant of Shimmer to experiment with, the idea being that it will stabilize an organism while the Hexcore's magic affects it, hopefully allowing it to survive through the aggressive and sudden healing process.

Viktor injects the Shimmer into his leg, as well as carving runes into both his brace and thigh to channel the magic towards there before he offers the Hexcore his blood. It does Something to his leg which we don't see till the following episode.

The new reading I have of this scene is that the reason Viktor chose his leg specifically is not because he was trying to "fix" it, but because:

-He's not willing to put others' lives at risk and knows he's not long for this world, so the only test subject he's willing to use is himself

-He knows the organic matter he tests the Hexcore on might die

-Viktor's leg is a part of his body he's willing to lose if things go wrong and it rejects the transmutation (he also knows that he could just fully die then and there too and is willing to take that risk)

Obviously, the scenes involving Viktor's experimentation center his physical disabilities (shots of his back brace, the focus on his leg) and equate them with the disease that is literally killing him. The narrative lens shows us that Viktor "curing" himself begins with his disability, which sucks.

So while the boat scene undoubtedly is written to be "triumphant" because Viktor's leg is no longer disabled (shown by him dropping his crutch, the swelling music, the parallel to the scene where a child Viktor can't keep up with his toy boat), a different reading is that it's another experiment to him.

Viktor is stress testing the organic matter he infused with magic, and the scene is triumphant because he's realized his leg isn't deteriorating or weakening - it holds up. The mutation of the magic in his leg survived. It's a sign that maybe he can use the Hexcore on the rest of his body, keep himself alive long enough to do what he's always wanted to do: leave a legacy that changes the world for the better.

To me that's a much more in-character perspective for Viktor in these scenes than what is being said narratively through directing, framing, music, etc. Previously, Viktor had never expressed distaste for his disability as an adult, only commenting on it as a part of why he was isolated socially from Piltover. To me, him testing the Hexcore on his leg is merely an indifference to its current state, rather than a preference to have it changed. I don't even necessarily think it'd be a bad thing if Viktor did outright say "I would like to not be disabled", because I'm sure many other disabled people feel that way from time to time, but season 1 really does a poor job of pushing that framing of "curing" disability onto a character that did not express those perspectives himself at this point.

It gives off a big ol' "aw, poor Viktor, not only is he dying because of the political landscape that leaves disenfranchised people to suffer preventable diseases, but he's got a disabled leg too!" One of those things is much more problematic than the other lol.

Season 2 definitely hurtles Viktor very quickly into the Machine Herald perspective in which he thinks humans must evolve past ANY limitations of their original bodies, but to me season 1 Viktor just doesn't feel that way about himself. His primary concern has always been rooted in how to improve the lives of his people permanently, and it's only when he's actively dying that his secondary goal is to live long enough to see that happen.

It's something he drops completely after his experimentation results in Sky's death. He's immediately spiteful of the Hexcore and tries to destroy it - and himself.

Viktor now accepts that he will die before he's able to change the world the way he wanted, and hides the fact that he fucked with his body from everyone as he awaits his demise. "Fixing" his leg is not something he celebrates in and of itself, it's now only a reminder that the pursuit of his dream resulted in someone else's death.

The narrative does well in season 2 to frame Viktor's Glorious Evolution as a Bad Thing at least, and Jayce's speech at the end about Viktor never being broken is extremely valuable and important, but it's just weird to see him say this:

Cause to me now, that ain't what Viktor was trying to do at all! The writers may have retconned that to be the case, which is fine, whatever, but season 1 in isolation does not support that idea to me after this rewatch.

Overall, I think Arcane can have confusing directing sometimes that focuses on evoking feelings and themes rather than the richness of its characters, their dynamics, and the world they inhabit - to the detriment of all the above. In season 2, this resulted in a lot of scenes that felt emotionally unearned or muddy to me, like pretty much everything with Jinx, Vi, and Vander together rip.

It's for this same reason that I think it took me so long to really come to this reading of Viktor's season 1 scenes, because the directing bias REALLY wants to make you feel sorrow and hope alongside Viktor, even though it means he'll seem to randomly start equating his disabled leg to his illness. It just felt like a weird disparity to me until I watched these episodes again and was like "wait" lol.

Anyway peace and love on planet Earth I cannot stop thinking about Viktor Arcane

[jula483]

not to be dramatic but... the tear rolling down his face!!!

[duffslut]

[timothyslucy]

[hiwelcometothemonstersancturary]

I’d love to hear your headcanons on the relationship of Catnap/Theo and The Prototype…especially when the poor kid became wee little baby Catnap. The Prototype must have a lot of guilt over that, and many, many other things…

Oh, boy, I have so much to talk about!

First, for me their relationship is and will always be of father and son. Even during the time Theo/Catnap starts looking up to Prototype as his god, it is still, at its core, a parent and child relationship. The religious imagery is just another layer it has, even if it's a very bad and unhealthy one. For me the whole cult thing was something Prototype only allowed to happen because it gave him more control over the factory, and, by extension, more protection to his kid, because if anyone dared to mess with him, they would know they would have messed up with the Prototye himself. And also because Elliot was used to people looking up to him and "lost" his "window" to cut it off before it became too much, like how we see in-game.

I think Theo met Prototype by accident, when he was running from bullies and accidentally got lost. He called for help until Prototype heard him and made a "mental link", gently guiding Theo out of where he was. Prototype was in the middle of an escape attempt, btw, and stopped because Theo was just a child and needed help. He would have done the same for any other kid in Playcare, and this is an important part of his personality to me. Proto would never hurt a kid (except if he thinks said hurt will free them from their suffering, which is why he kills CatNap during the og game).

Theo, very young and a bit religious, thought that the voice was actually a guardian angel guiding him out, and tried to contact the Prototype by praying. Proto, who still had the mental link with the kid, was very amused, and told him that no, he's not an angel, just another creature trapped inside Playtime Co. Prototype would often silently escape his cell in order to talk to Theo, or use the mental connection to make his hand appear in front of him. The kid was lonely, terrified, and no other adult seemed competent enough to just do their job as a person and help him, and Prototype knew what it was like to be lonely and terrified. He wouldn't allow this little one to be alone like he himself was.

He protected Theo the best he could. He wouldn't scare the bullies, knowing well that if he did, the higher-ups would immediately make a connection and end any attempts at contacting Theo. At this point Proto was already with the adoption papers all signed up inside his head but he just thought it was normal behavior for him until years later. Prototype helped Theo with homework, taught him how to calm himself down, and, little by little, started showing more of himself. First he made it so that Theo would only see his hand, then his arm. He warned the boy that he had a very scary appearance, to which Theo replied that even angels look a bit scary the first time you see then. Surprisingly, the little boy was amazed by how the Prototype looked like! He thought he was the coolest thing EVER.

Prototype's influence also made Theo start scoring higher at the Game Station. He was a very frail and clumsy kid. If it wasn't for Proto being gentle and encouraging, Theo would have never been fit for the Bigger Bodies initiative. This is something Prototype didn't realize until he accidentally overheard Sawyer talking about the Smiling Critters "line" of Bigger Bodies and saw the test results for Theo. By this point, Proto was planning an escape, with him and the boy freeing all the orphans trapped inside Playtime Co, but when he saw these papers, he decided that the plan must be done as soon and quick as possible. He would allow anyone else to be hurt. And he didn't realize it at the time, but he wasn't going to allow Sawyer to just take his kid away from him like that.

And then Theo almost fucking died. Haha. Lmao, even.

Maybe the fact that Proto didn't have more time to "train" him could be part of the reason why the accident happened. Maybe Theo was just too young. But what matters is that he almost died, and Prototype kept on calling to him, begging him to survive, to get up, but the boy wasn't moving. The Prototype had failed yet another child, and this time it almost costed their life. I think this is how he found out he could cry in his new body, because he was sobbing, and if he wasn't so focused on getting help and not being silent I think he would have screamed a bit.

And then he saw his boy being brought to that room, and he couldn't do anything to stop it from happening. And at least to me this was one of the worst things that ever happened to Prototype, because he loved that kid just like how he loved Poppy when things weren't like this. Taking care of him, raising him... He did that to Poppy as well.

And he failed the two of them.

I think that after Theo became CatNap, Prototype tried to keep a certain distance between them, because he almost killed that boy. He's not a good parent, nor a good friend. He tried to hard to save him, and for what? But to Theo, this wasn't a case of his parent trying to protect him. The last thing he heard was Prototype calling himself a failure: "You failed another one", he said, and Theo thought he was calling him a failure for almost dying. And combine that with the distance post-Bigger Bodies transformation, and the fact that to Theo he was still alive because Prototype saved him, and you have just the right amounts of guilt, second chances and redemption to kickstart the worship.

Theo/CatNap wanted to prove himself to be useful, to be better. Prototype wanted to free him and everyone else inside, and told him about the Hour of Joy. CatNap delivered the news to other toys, grateful that he was being useful to his savior, and helped him set everything in motion for the following months. After the HoJ, Prototype realized he had to feed all the toys inside, and food is not an infinite supply. He taught CatNap how to protect himself from other hungry toys and how to hunt and scavenge for food, and in CatNap's eyes his god was teaching him everything he knew just like old times. It was a reward, he had proved himself to be useful, things will be okay once more.

@/lassieposting made some really interesting posts about their relationship post-HoJ, and I recommend checking the poppy playtime tag on their blog! I love the idea of CatNap eventually leaving Prototype's wing/"area" after a certain amount of time, coming back to the Smiling Critters as a hunter and thinking it's stupid how the group doesn't want to hunt for other toys. However, I like to think that Prototype one day came up to him and told him there wasn't anything else for him to learn, and that he could go, once again creating a distance between them, as Prototype/Elliot still thinks he failed the kid and that he will fail him again if he stays close. In CatNap's eyes this was his savior asking him to prove himself so he would be allowed to be close to him again.

With enough time, CatNap made his Prototype cult, which was allowed to keep on going because Proto firmly believed this would protect him and the mini critters. Plus, more control over the factory, stopping toys from going on a rampage or trying to leave and risking making the experiments known to the authorities. Meanwhile CatNap had to provide food for the mini critters and was finding the same problems Proto himself was having with feeding the toys, and this just made his admiration and worship of him grow more and more (hc also by @/lassieposting).

There's also another element to their relationship: Elliot was a very kind man who was shaken up by war. He raised Poppy to be kind, as much as she possibly could be. For her, kindness was a choice she must make every single day. But for Theodore post Hour of Joy, kindness was something that could cost him his life. Prototype taught him how to be a hunter, and this meant not playing around and not being able to be a kid anymore. CatNap feels like a part of him went missing when he was forced to stop playing because he needed to survive, and a part of him does resent Prototype for that, but he will never admit it out loud.

By the time Angel enters the factory and the game starts, Prototype is being eaten alive by his own guilt. He failed every single child in that damned factory, he failed his two kids (Poppy and Theodore), and he failed himself and his principles. Meanwhile, CatNap is starving not just for food, but for any love and attention he can receive from Prototype. All he wants is for things to go back to how they were once before, but the distance between them just keeps on growing. The cult, the worship and the guilt are killing this relationship for years, and neither of them are able to talk about it.

CatNap just wants his dad back.

Prototype just wishes Theo never had to meet a monster like him.

[angelfic]

[butchford]

I think we need to blow up the mouthwashing tag on every social media site

Solid fucking agree 🚬🐴

[sanasanakun]

Jimithon Mouthwashing is such a good representation of untreated, enabled NPD like it makes me want to squeeze the life out of him. I'm endlessly fascinated when watching him interact with his crew, surroundings, and himself because he's so fucking lost in his own sauce. It's insane. If I'm being real, it makes him my favorite character in the game.

It's a little scary to say, but watching Jimmy is like seeing a mirrored version of myself two years ago before I truly committed to treatment for my NPD. He's like a shadow. The opening line "I hope this hurts," which I believe comes from Jimmy right before the crash, is such a poignant statement. It's a simple line, but I can tell you from experience that the desire to hurt others when in a narcissistic rage is overwhelming. It's such a good line to sum up Jimmy's character in that moment. Luckily, in the real world, I had my friends and family there to catch me when I hit my lowest, even though I'd hurt them so many times. Jimmy probably could've used friends to force him into therapy (cough cough Curly cough cough)

[day6source]

DAY6_BEHIND

On DAY6's Kiss the Radio 🎉 DAY6 appears with force 🎉 It was overwhelming today 🥹 Let's continue to be together in the future 💚

[the-gentler-gamester]

I'M NOT CRYING YOU'RE CRYING!

[momomallowart]

Imagine if you will... Ray with a tongue piercing ʕ ꈍᴥꈍʔ 💭

A more "messy" version under the cut bc I wanted to practice tears and stuff.. 👀

[faoluoo]

i watched look back

rambling in tags

[cacw]

okay i admit ive only skimmed the first 2 books of asc but your frostpaw means so so much to me she is my sweet darling and i love seeing her on my dash. i think she would love sister cities by hop along 💕 yay

oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I need a second to calm down here I need just a minute just a second. Oh my god she's never looked so perfect she has never looked so sweet... if you go to google.com and image search "angel" this is the first and only thing that will pop up. Oh god! Oh god!!!!!!

[delta-piscium]

Eddie does become quite famous for his music and that means he sometimes has to go to these mind numbing events where people will sneer at him until they recognize who he is, then they’ll suddenly pretend they’re old friends, they’ll ask for concert tickets and backstage passes

he mostly hates them but whenever Steve is able to come he’s so god damn excited. Steve’s parents used to drag him along to their business events and even though it’s different industries it’s all the same. Steve knows these crowds, he grew up with them and they bring out the bitchiest upper middle class version of him, a Steve who has passive aggression and faux politeness down to an art

Eddie will watch on in delighted awe as his husband, all while smiling mildly and sipping wine, destroys people. just cuts into them and also making everything sound nice, innocuous. Most of them don’t even realize it’s happening they just suddenly find themselves gaping, searching for words, as they’re backed into a corner

and Steve will look at them, tilt his head and wait them out, but before they get the chance to backtrack he’ll hum, shrug and walk away, Eddie on his heel asking if he wants to get out of there, like right now? or maybe find a bathroom?