#<- tearing up the fact that the manga being animated is real

[faoluoo]

i watched look back

rambling in tags

[suosgirl]

Keeping It Cute (& Dangerous) - Hayato Suo x Reader | Ch. 3

Word Count: 4100

୨ৎ Read me before interacting!

୨ৎ Pairing: Hayato Suo x Reader feat. Haruka Sakura, Akihiko Nirei, Taiga Tsugeura, Mitsuki Kiryu

୨ৎ Warnings: mdni, f!reader, manga spoilers (?), ooc (?), loss of loved one, violence, panic attack, breakdown, slowburn, knives, stabbing, blood/bleeding, broken bones, harassment, survivor's guilt, misunderstandings, fighting, grief, swearing, ptsd – if I’ve missed one, I apologize + please let me know!

୨ৎ Note: I wasn't feeling the original image because I really want this fic to feel real – so, updated it so it looks like a manga panel (˶˃⤙˂˶) Also, remember when I said this would be 4 parts? I lied, haha. Definitely will be longer (ᵕ—ᴗ—)

୨ৎ Keeping it Cute (& Dangerous) Masterlist

“Bunny,” he repeats himself – simple and matter-of-factly. “That’s not my name.” “But you’re just so cute –” Your nose scrunches up at his words, and he laughs as he claps his hands. “Oh! See, you are a bunny!”

This was a situation that you did NOT have on your bingo card.

Sat in between Kiryu, whose name you had just learned, and Tsugeura, whose name you had also just learned, you found yourself cursing the universe for the streak of bad luck that just kept coming.

(They had originally all sat across from you, something you were thankful for – but when you had excused yourself to use the restroom, they thought nothing of it until they saw you fly past the shop windows.

Sakura and Nirei had to drag you back.

You blame your weakness for puppy dog eyes.

… Fun Fact: Nirei was really good at doing puppy dog eyes.)

You just couldn’t understand it – you had apologized for what you did, and they had told you that you did nothing wrong, so why were you still here?

And also – nothing erases the fact that they’re all still so good-looking. Especially Suo.

Ugh, even his name was pretty. So pretty, in fact, that you couldn’t stop repeating it in your head. 

You could still feel the ghost of his hand on your shoulder and the warmth of his breath on your ear. 

Bunny…

Is that what he thought of you? A harmless, dainty little ball of fur? You’re irritated at the mere idea of being compared to such a powerless animal. 

For goodness sake, you had fractured a man’s hand – bunnies don’t do that.

What’s worse – he had continued to call you that stupid nickname the whole walk here. You had ignored him, of course, but it seems that only fueled him more, because he hasn’t let up on the name since then.

How can someone so handsome be so aggravating? 

You’re brought out of your thoughts by the sound of a poorly veiled excuse of a cough, and you see that they’re all looking at you expectantly.

“Oh – I’m sorry! Did you say something?”

Sakura lets out a sharp tsk, no doubt still annoyed about earlier, before responding to you.

“We were askin’ for your name.”

Oh.

You don’t mean to, really, but you let out a laugh. It bubbles out of you, unrefined and uncontained, because the situation in its entirety is just so ridiculous. Of course you hadn’t introduced yourself to them because you didn’t think you’d still be talking to them. Or rather, that they’d still be talking to you. 

Once your laughter dies down and you’re wiping the stray tears from your eyes, you quickly apologize and introduce yourself.

It’s silent for a second, and then Suo hums and you eye him warily.

“I think I like bunny better,” he concludes, smiling at you.

You shake your head, before correcting him with a forced smile of your own.

“Bunny,” he repeats himself – simple and matter-of-factly.

“That’s not my name.”

“But you’re just so cute –”

Your nose scrunches up at his words, and he laughs as he claps his hands.

“Oh! See, you are a bunny!”

Suddenly, you don’t like him anymore. 

You turn to Kiryu, even though you barely know him, because you need support and validation and he looks like the type to run to your aid in times of need. He’s already looking down at you, his eyes thoughtful and sensible and you’re sure that he’ll be the one to put an end to this endless teasing. He’s so reliable, you think. And handsome. And Kind. But now he’s smirking at you and you’re not sure why – 

“Kitten! You look like a kitten right now~”

You almost flip the table. Keyword: almost. You are, after all, just a girl – but girls don’t flip tables. No matter how irritated they are. And you know what? You pride yourself on how poised and collected you are in the face of hardship. You are resolute – unbreakable. This is child’s play. 

“I don’t think you’re anything like that –” Tsugeura chimes in, and you’re so glad that someone finally sees you for who you are. 

Perhaps… perhaps Tsugeura was way more emotionally aware and attuned to others' feelings than you had first thought. You shouldn’t judge a book by its cover, and suddenly, Tsegeura is just so dreamy and handsome and – 

“– you’re more like a banana! Banana is my favorite protein flavor, the other fla-”

You slide your hands under the table. 

First, you were going to flip this shit. Then, you were going to rock their shit.

“I-I think you’re really cool … and strong!” Nirei interrupts your silent rampage, and you feel the anger dissipate from your body.

You decide then that Nirei is your favorite one from the group, and you grant him a smile – because kindness is supposed to be met with even more kindness. And he was kind, and cute, and sweet, and –

“But … I feel like I’ve heard your name before… I just can’t remember where…,” he mutters, and you watch him pull out a small notebook from his jacket. 

You feel your skin prickle at his words, and you quickly ask Kiryu what he’s looking at.

“Ah – he collects information about people –”

Kiryu’s still talking, but you tune him out.

If people from this town knew who your brother was, then you weren’t safe here either.

You watch Nirei flip through his notebook in earnest, and your hands start to get clammy. You had to leave. Whether he found the information he was looking for or not, you didn’t want to stay to find out. You decide that you had entertained them long enough, and it’s when you start to slowly push your chair back that Nirei finds what he’s looking for.

“Aha! I knew your name sounded familiar!” he’s beaming at you as he says your brother's name, and you don’t have it in your heart to ask him to stop.

But then – he’s naming things about your brother like his height and his preferences and his shoe size and you can’t stop the way your eyes are starting to water or the way your hands softly inch towards to stop him.

And everyone’s so enraptured in Nirei’s storytelling, so intrigued by the rumors of your brother and the rumors of you, that no one notices.

It’s only when you gently pull the notebook from his hands that he stops. You’re not mad. Really. 

You’re just – 

…

You don’t know how you feel.

Through blurry eyes, you skim over the page and you’re surprised at how accurate everything is – but, you find one flaw.

One stupid flaw that you wish wasn’t real, but it was, and reality hurts.

“You need to add that he passed away a year ago,” you say before clumsily handing the notebook back to him – your eyes glued to your lap.

The table falls silent, and you don’t want to look up. You don’t want to look any of them in their eyes or see their expressions of remorse or guilt because, honestly, they didn’t know.

But… But to hang your head low in your brother’s memory was shameful. He deserved to be remembered with your head held high – a smile on your face and pride in your voice. That’s the type of person he was.

“My brother –” you take a deep breath, willing your voice to stop shaking and your hands to stop fidgeting. Kiryu’s hand is on your back, comforting and sweet, and you know that he’s silently telling you not to push yourself – but you press on.

If your brother were here right now, he’d tease you endlessly about how small and frail you look. 

But then… he’d flick your forehead and tell you to straighten your spine – because addressing your feelings and your fears head-on is the only way to get stronger.

“He was the one that taught me that I could wear whatever I want, do whatever I want, and be whoever I want – because I’m strong enough to back it up. He made sure of that.”

“He was really famous in our town… Maybe that’s why you’ve heard of him? He protected everyone, just like you guys, and he had this thing he would do where he would call himself –”

“The LION…,” Nirei joins in quietly with you, and you let out a small laugh as you nod. 

“Yeah, my brother was the lion and I was the tiger. He was really into stuff like that – said it made us sound cool and intimidating and whatnot. He even had everyone call us that too and I used to hate it because it was so cheesy, but somewhere down the road, it grew on me.”

You’re smiling now, but it isn’t reaching your eyes. You’re trying, though, and they can see that.

“When I fight …,” you pause, and flashbacks start running through your mind. 

You remember all the fighting, all the banter, and all the lessons. He was such a flashy person, always trying to take on 15 people at a time just to show how strong he was. But … he was strong. Stupidly strong, and so so smart. He had the mind of a tactician – always planning, always thinking. His strategies rarely failed, and if they did, he took it in stride with a smile on his face and a chip on his shoulder.

“... I feel like he’s right there beside me, giving me pointers on what I could do better and telling me not to mess up my hair too much.”

You missed him – terribly. But, life goes on. 

The days pass by, the seasons change, and in some miraculous way – you begin healing.

“I think about him everyday,” you admit, “he was my best friend, my role model, and I knew him like the back of my hand. You’re doing his life’s work, too – and that’s something to be incredibly proud of.”

You look up at them, and though your tears have subsided, there’s still an ache in your chest that you know will only get lighter with time.

“How?”

You flinch at the question, and everyone is quick to scold Sakura but he continues – 

“He sounded pretty damn strong, so what happened?”

The question makes sense. Your brother was strong, so how did he, of all people, get killed? 

You know that you, yourself, are also an enigma – so you get where he’s coming from. You had moved to Makochi with trauma and issues and history, and it still wasn’t clear if you were a threat or not. It just hurts, you suppose, being perceived like this.

You purse your lips, not because you’re angry at Sakura, but because you’re angry at what you’re about to say.

This part always stung the most.

“My brother… he was well known, even outside of our town, for ending fights and saving people. He was a hero – the town’s hero. But because of his reputation, we had more and more people moving in, and a lot of them had emotional baggage. They –”

Your hands start shaking again, and you have to force yourself to calm down.

“They didn’t know this, and it isn’t their fault, but because of so many people seeking refuge with us, gangs from out of town were putting a target on me and my brother.”

Your breathing is coming out ragged now, and you can feel your body start to heat up with pure anger.

Kiryu’s hand is on your back again, and you’re so grateful for the way it grounds you enough to continue speaking.

“The night that my brother died, he was by himself. We didn’t know that the gangs had reached out to one another to create some sort of compromise, but if we had, then maybe things would be different.”

“I don’t … I don’t know exactly what happened, but when they found him, he was on the outskirts of town with 50 bodies laid out around him and 20 stab wounds… He could’ve been saved, but he lost too much blood because he just kept fighting.”

“I was supposed to be with him that night, but I had a stupid little cold and he told me to stay home and rest. Can you believe that? I was at home, with soup and cough medicine and a runny nose, while my brother was out there dying, and I –”

You don’t realize you’re gasping for air until they’re all telling you to stop, and you finally notice the hot tears running down your face.

Your body stills, and then – you’re quiet.

It takes everything in you to just breathe.

You’re stuck like that for what feels like forever before you’re able to start releasing the tension in your body, but your heart is still racing and your mind is still reeling and –

Sakura breaks the silence.

“... They’re cowards – you don’t bring knives to a fistfight,” he states, plain and simple, and the rest of them are waiting with bated breath and worried eyes as you look up at him and –

You laugh. It’s a bitter laugh, but it’s something, and you see their shoulders drop with relief.

Slowly, your heart returns to a steady rhythm and you’re sure that you’re probably looking a lot better because Kiryu is softly asking where you’re from.

You hesitate, but the name of your hometown falls from your lips – and so do their faces. 

“That’s –,” Nirei starts, but Sakura cuts him off.

“Whaddya doin’ all the way over here, then?”

You pause.

“I’m protecting my town – same as you.”

“That … doesn’t seem like much protection – ”

“They're still looking for me – the hit that night was for both of us. They only want me. The town is safe because I’m not there.”

You’re met with silence, and you take that as a queue to wrap this whole thing up. You’ve said far too much than you’d like to admit, and you don’t want to get attached to these feelings and these people and this town. 

This was fun. Handsome boys always make good company. But, the sooner you get this over with, the sooner you can move on.

So, you bring your hands together with a soft clap, grabbing their attention as you smile at them.

You drone on about how, despite this being a great fun experience, it’s getting late and you really oughta head back to your apartment now. You’re thanking them for listening to you and for being so nice and caring, but you’ve already taken up so much of their time and you couldn’t possibly keep them out for longer.

You honestly, genuinely think you’re doing pretty good.

What you don’t count on, though, is that they’re getting familiar with your smiles. They’re starting to catch on to which ones are real and which ones aren’t – and the smile you’re giving them now is so guarded and forced and fake that they’re already standing up before you finish your little spiel. 

You deflate at their reaction. You weren’t even done.

Sighing, you go to grab your bag before standing up – and they’re quick to gather around until they’re blocking you with their bodies.

“You’re not thinking about leaving town, are you?” 

“Of course not! Goodness, why would you even think that?”

You laugh, light and friendly, before trying to step around them. They block you again.

“Look, I’m tired and I want to go home. Please please please let me go home,” you plead, desperate to finally be alone.

“If we visit you tomorrow, you’ll still be there? You won’t be gone?”

You smile again, but your eyes are starting to twitch and your patience is running thin.

“Yes yes yes – I promise I’ll still be there tomorrow.”

What a fucking liar, they think.

You, on the other hand, are getting frustrated because usually nosy people end it at the first question. You’re not at all used to whatever this is, and you’re starting to get worried that perhaps they got too attached to you. 

“We’ll walk you home –”

“No need! It’s really not that far!”

Your facade is cracking now, and you’re starting to get antsy. This was too much attention, too much care, and you hadn’t experienced this much clinginess in so long.

Why couldn’t they be more like other towns, who didn’t so much as bat an eyelash when you left because you had caused fights and problems and violence?

“How will we know where to go tomorrow then?”

“Oh – good question! Here, pull out your phones and I’ll give you my contact information.”

They immediately do as you say, but when they look up, you’re fucking gone – halfway out the door by the time they realize it.

You’re booking it, running as fast as you can through alleyways and sharp corners before they even get a clue of where you are. 

You’re smiling, pleased with yourself because you won and boys are just so easy.

Finally, you can unwind from the disastrous day you’ve just had and wallow in self-pity and embarrassment to your heart's con– 

You run into something hard and firm and tall and handsome and – shit.

Suo’s got his arms wrapped around your waist, strong and secure, and though he’s smiling, you can see how furious he is by the way he’s pressing his lips together.

“It seems my sweet little bunny just keeps getting away.”

You bristle at his words, and for a split second, you consider flipping him out of your way, but his fingers lightly press into your body as a warning and – 

“Okay fine, you’ve caught me. Are you happy now?”

You hate how breathless you sound in his arms, but he, on the other hand, is absolutely thrilled. Whether it’s because of your pathetic surrender or because you’re so damn close, you’re not sure.

You place your hands on his chest because, if you’re going to let yourself be held captive by him you might as well enjoy it, and you feel the tiniest flex of his body under your fingertips.

Oh. 

Alright – fine. Two can play at this game.

You tilt your head to look up at him, and in the prettiest voice you can muster, you say — “You’re being so mean, Suo.”

All he does is hum at your words, and you flush at the lack of response. 

Never… never again. 

Maybe you should flip him. It wouldn’t hurt, you think, to get one good jab in. Make him really remember you before you’re gone. 

“I honestly think you’re being the mean one here.”

You open your mouth to respond, but he continues.

“If you think leaving is the best thing for you to do right now, then I’ll let you go.”

He drops his arms, and you shiver. You’re not sure if it’s from the breeze or the weight of his words, but you instinctively wrap your hands around yourself.

“You can go to the next town, and then the next one, and then the next one, until you’ve run out of land – and I won’t stop you.”

Your breath catches in your throat, and you look away from his stare. You can’t do this, can’t listen to this, it hurts and your chest is tight and – 

“Or, you can stay here a little while longer. You can get to know the town, know the people, and you could find something worth staying and protecting again.”

You're stepping away from him now, your eyes clenched and your hands shaking.

For a year, you’ve had whispers of your brother's voice, sure, and the occasional casual friendships from town to town, but you’ve never ever been spoken to quite like this. You didn’t know words could bruise you like this. You didn’t know the truth could sear into your skin and burn.

You didn’t give anyone the chance to confront you, never stayed long enough to make it worth it, but here he was – stern and honest and real.

You’re scared – no, terrified at the idea that someone like him could see right through you. That he could see through your facade. That he cared enough to say all of this. That he cared enough to try.

You don’t … know what to do. You’re at a crossroads, and although you’d been in this town for a couple of weeks now, this was the first time you were seeing it for what it truly is. 

And you’re not sure if you can love another town the way you loved your hometown. You can’t get attached or comfortable — can't stay in one place for too long. You don’t know what could happen to the people here. What if they find you? What happens then? You shouldn’t risk it, a voice rings through your head.

Yeah, yeah you shouldn’t – 

Another voice, so quiet and soft that you wouldn’t have even noticed it if you hadn’t been thinking so hard echoes out.

Try. Hope. Trust. Believe. Protect.

You fear that you’re losing your mind, the words so outlandish and foreign that you can’t remember the last time they’ve ever left your mouth.

But then – you remember earlier. The girl you helped. The girl you protected. The protection that Bofurin offered to you. The hope in her eyes. The trust in their eyes. The trust in you. 

And suddenly, you’re crying. It’s not a burst, nor is it hot to the touch. It’s a slow, mesmerizing trickle of tears shining with intention and meaning and feelings and you don’t make a move to bottle it up.

Suo sees this, and his lips press together before he continues.

“You’re not alone here… you’re safe.”

He knows. 

He knows that it’s important for you to make this decision yourself.

Suo was an observer – he had waited for you to slip up, to show your true self. He couldn’t trust you, not yet. His friends were much more kind, much more optimistic than he was – but he had his doubts. 

He watched you with his full attention as you told your story. He saw the way that you caved in on yourself. He witnessed the path of destruction that you were following with a naked eye and a blind heart.

And when you had apologized on your knees for such a small misunderstanding, how could he have stopped himself from helping you up and easing your anxiety?

You had made him concerned. So concerned, in fact, that he saw right through your little trick back at Pothos, and the minute you had bolted, he was already out the door and hot on your trail.

Besides – how could you, someone from out of town, know the streets better than him?

He had chased you twice now. 

He doesn’t dwell on this realization too much.

But, if you truly decided it was best for you to leave, he wouldn’t stop you. He was a man of his word, and although deep in his heart he knows you’d be so much happier and safer if you stayed in Makochi, well, he wouldn’t be much of a gentleman if he didn’t respect your wishes.

So he stands there with his hands clasped behind his back, and he waits, and he hopes.

And although you're silent, he can tell you’re reaching some sort of an epiphany because you’re still here. You haven’t run away. You haven’t disappeared.

It isn’t until you’re looking up at him that Suo finally lets out the breath he’d unconsciously been holding in this whole time, but he needs to make sure —

He stares into your eyes for a brief second before visibly relaxing.

Ah. There it is.

Your eyes… They have color again.

It was such a small detail when he first noticed it earlier – back when he had first laid his eye on you. 

Your eyes had been blank – they were blank when you were staring at them, blank when you crushed that man’s hand, blank when he had pulled you up from the ground.

But then, when you were holding hands with that girl and reminiscing about your brother, he saw it – brief and fleeting and pretty.

Your eyes, when they’re full of life and hope, are so very pretty.

Your lips are moving, but Suo hasn’t got a clue what you’ve said, and it’s his turn to get flustered now because getting distracted like this is so very unlike him.

“Hm? Sorry bunny – I didn’t quite catch that.”

You pout, his eyes dropping to the way your bottom lip juts out – and now you’ve got his attention. He wishes he was a stronger man, truly.

“I said –,” you pause, the nickname causing your face to warm up and the tips of your ears to bloom a lovely shade of pink, “... I said I’ll stay.”

୨ৎ Chapter 4

[thesirenwithnovoice]

Thoughts about how different mediums of a same story may give you different views (and rambling about the Tower of Heaven)//TW: violence

Lately I've been wondering about how manga readers might have very different visions than anime watchers of a same story, because althought the plot remains the same, some little details can change our whole perception of a story.

This reminded me of the first time I read Fairy Tail and how terrified I was at how cruel and dark the Tower of Heaven's arc is.

Jellal's face (that by that time, were only an 11-years-old kid) drippling blood while being tortured shocked me so much as a kid and I still find it one of the most disturbing scenes in the manga, lol.

In the anime, the content itself is the same. We know the kids are slaves that go throught different kinds of abuse, however, I find the manga way gloomier and more graphic. And althought part of it might be just a personal opinion, it's not entirely without basis: Mashima uses different techniques in his art to represent facts whitin the story than the animators, and it leads to a topic I really love: semiotics - how we interpret images, and how detais can be used to convey a certain felling throught art.

Colors and composition helps A LOT creating an atmosphere and causing a feeling on the reader. Proportionally speaking, a manga doesn't have colors, but it has it's own alternatives - the Tower of Heaven arc, in comparison to the rest of the manga, uses a lot more black and hatching.

One can argue some scenes are still "visually darker" in the anime, since it has the advantage of being able to play with shadows and colors in a broader aspect; however, since Fairy Tail is not an anime that changes it's saturation or colour pallete, the loud colors in most scenes end up not helping building the same dreadful atmosphere.

(It doesn't mean you can't make a scary story using bright and colorful tones, tho. A great example is the movie Midsommar. But it's not an easy task!)

Erza's childhood memories in the manga also carry a "dirtier" feeling; the kids are always covered by bruises, and the background is rougher. Also, the anime chooses to represent slavery in a more fanciful way: the kids wear stylized handcuffs and are assaulted with magic attacks, what inevitably softens the scenes by distancing them from real life slavery.

In a story, an act of violence will always be more shocking if your brain is able to automatically make a connection with real life. Seeing blood conveys a feeling of disconfort easier than a character being hit by a wave of magic, even if the author tells you "this is painful"; that's why some people say they started to find difficult to watch horror movies involving kids after becoming parents, because after experenciating something in real life, they connect with fiction harder.

The above scene causes me very different feelings in each media. In the manga, the despair in Jellal's face when seeing they removed Erza's eye is much clearer, and his skinny body, his eyes filling up with tears (he doesn't cry in the anime) shows not only a feeling of worry, but of utter dread and helplessness. All that helps endorsing the fact that, doesn't matter how brave he is, they are still just fragile kids, unable to protect themselves from the cruelty of the world around them.

I want to make it clear, though, that this is not in any way meant to be a critique to the animation team, or an affirmation that one type of media is better than another. We all have our personal preferences, but each media has it's target audience and objective. Fairy Tail's animators certainly do know how to convey the same feelings on the public, they just choose not to, for a variety of reasons. Probably because the anime is aimed for a broader and younger audience, many scenes have been softened or censored somehow. Also, animation consumes more labour than a manga page, so unless you have a lot of time and investment, the art tend to be simpler.

So do you think it affects the plot, Siren?

In my opinion, yes, even if just in a subtle way. In the manga, I think this raw brutality helps Jellal's character to gain a more interesting complexity. To me, he feels less like a hero and more like what he actually is: just a really kind and brave kid trying his best to protect his friends.

Another major change they made in the anime was removing the ambiguity (something that happened more than once in Fairy Tail's adaptation, such as in the famous kiss scene), leaving clear since the beginning that Jellal was a victim of a mind controlling spell; while in the manga, until Urtear's confirmation at the end of the arc, we do not know for sure if he have been brainwashed or just convinced to adore Zeref.

And as much as I can see why some fans might hate it because it leaves room for people to see Jellal as a bad man, I (as someone who is not afraid of loving evil characters, heh), find it interesting and somehow enriching to the plot, because it gives the whole arc a reflection: is extreme suffering, specially at such an young age, capable of changing someone so much?

We are left questioning what did "Zeref" say, or do, that made him change so much. And having so many real life examples where despair has made people easy victims of manipulation throught faith or falling into extremist ideologies, after we seeing Jellal's pain and fragility in a tangible way, it's not that hard at all to understand how he went insane and managed to drag all the other slaves along with him.

Also, I think it makes it easier to understand Erza's empathy towards him. Jellal and Erza are characters connected not only by the affection they nourish for one another, but also for sharing the same pain. She is the only person that fully understands the horrors he lived in the tower, since they were the only kids that have been in the torture chamber. And althought she never tries to justify Jellal's actions, Erza does not only show him compreension, but she feels guilty for not being able to retribute his protection and prevented him from losing his mind.

That doesn't mean, tho, that there weren't many other clues he was not acting on free will: be it his grotesque change of personality, his hysterical laughter out of nowhere or his motivations that doesn't hold (because they were never his to begin with). To me, all that at first glance makes him closer to Batman's Joker, someone that grew insane after so much suffering, than a villain that's genuinely just plain selfish and thirsty for power. And that only makes me find him a creepier villain, since personally, I find sadism and insanity way scarier than ghosts.

So this is just a looong collection of thoughts about how small choices can change a lot the "feeling" we get from a scene or a character. I hope someone can find it interesting too. There are many other examples of adaptations where it happened, and if you remember one you'd like to share, I would love to hear!

Last but not less important, all the love for Mashima's art, the Tower of Heaven arc (that is a personal favorite) and Jellal, a character I deeply love and one that holds for sure the strongest spirit in the manga for being able to become such a kind and mature man despite everything he has been thought. ♡

[1800-page-not-found]

Another Lifetime | Gojo Satoru x Fem! Reader

I caught up with the manga and I think I'm going insane.

I was gonna make him a yandere but i switched up in the middle lol

ig i write for jujutsu kaisen now to yippie

Yall ever have those fucked up dreams of having a child or taking care of them only to wake up and realize your child doesn't exist, and will never exist?

If you do, then you can understand how Gojo acts in this story.

If you don't...just imagine how it feels to lose the closest person or animal to you, and for the entire world ignore the fact that you lost them and expects you to pretend they never existed in the first place. Something like that.

Something is wrong. Very wrong. You can feel it in your bones. Everything's the same, but different.

This... Gojo Satoru is not your Satoru.

What had happened that day? If only you were there to witness it. It was the first time you heard that the Gojo Satoru had fainted.

When he wakes up, he smiles, like his usual cheery self. But something's different. There's a hint of grief.

Everyone else seems to think he's fine. But perhaps its because they don't know him how you know him.

But now, do you even know him?

Day by day, he starts to stick less and less to his morals. He feels empty, a terrifying attribute for a man deemed the strongest. You just hope this Gojo Satoru will stay on the 'good' side.

Or maybe you never knew him at all.

Maybe, he held a facade, even in front of you. Maybe he was that broken this whole time. You wonder what happened that day.

But that's the past. Now...You wondered if you would survive today. It was no longer comforting, being alone with...Gojo was now a frightening experience.

"[name]." He smiled at you, yet it felt cold. Cruel. Evil.

"Yes, Gojo?" You answer back. He pauses.

"...You no longer call me Satoru." He is very close to you. It's suffocating.

"I thought you'd like to be called more formally." His smile drops. It's eerily silent, his eye pierce into you, seemingly tearing you apart until nothing is left.

"I see. Well! That's not what I really wanted to tell you!" And just like that, Gojo is happy. You can no longer tell if he means it or not.

"I escaped! That day-I was set free." He's spouting nonsense again. What does that mean?

"[name]." He grabs your wrist tightly. "are you afraid? Do you not like...the real me?"

The real him?

"Gojo, what nonsense are you spouting. Of course I like you." He smiles again.

"Just wanted to make sure. ⁱ ᵗʰⁱⁿᵏ ⁱ'ᵐ ᵍᵒⁱⁿᵍ ᶜʳᵃᶻʸ."

You exchange a few more sentences, and part ways. As you walk away, you can feel his eyes boring into your back, looking into your soul.

It's chilling. Gojo isn't smiling. Blood...Blood everywhere. Is this the day humanity ends?

"Gojo! What are you doing!?" You shout at him.

He turns around to face you. "Ah! [name]!" A smile that could only be perceived in nightmares appears on his face. "I got rid of them. They were going to hurt our family!"

You freeze.

He sees your reaction, and only grins in response.

"That day, I died. I really died. I couldn't use reversed curse technique. It was scary. 'How am I here then?' you might wonder."

He looks deranged, hysterical.

"It wasn't Jujutsu. A whole entire third world opened up." His face contorts to agony. "I lived a whole entire new life [name]! Free from curses, free from Jujutsu! We got married! We had a child, [name], a child! I was so happy-and, and-" He sounds crazy. He grips his hair, almost to the verge of pulling it out. "in a single moment-it all disappeared when I somehow came back to life."

--------

I...had a child? No, no, this is just him trying to get into your head!

--------

"It's not real."

"BUT IT IS, [NAME]. OUR DAUGHTER-SHE WAS REAL. ⁱ⁻ⁱ ʲᵘˢᵗ ʷᵃⁿᵗ ᵐʸ ᵇᵃᵇʸ ᵇᵃᶜᵏ…" He mumbles the last part. He crumbles to the ground, a sobbing mess.

This man...he is your Satoru. Just...broken.

But...if it's your Satoru, then you can accept it.

"Satoru..." You bend down. You're... crying.

He looks up at you, eyes red. "ʸᵒᵘ⁻ʸᵒᵘ ᶜᵃˡˡᵉᵈ ᵐᵉ ᵇʸ ᵐʸ ᶠⁱʳˢᵗ ⁿᵃᵐᵉ…" His voice is weak.

"I'm sorry." You pull him into a tight hug. "I'm sorry I couldn't accept you and comfort being at your lowest point."

The two of you hug for a long time, until Satoru pulls out a glass orb of sorts which glows a faint gold color. "Satoru?...What...What is this?"

"My baby...Our baby. I can bring her back, [name]."

But nothing's ever free in this cursed world.

"What price...must be paid?..."

He starts to sniffle, and breaks out into tears again. "I have to kill people [name]. I hate this. I hate this so much."

You pause. "How many?..."

"A thousand lives."

It honestly wasn't a hard decision. You hold your daughter's soul securely, then standing up.

"[n-name]?" Satoru looks up at you, wiping his tears away, just as yours start to pour.

"Satoru. From this day on, I will become a curse user. I'll take the blame. You have never hurt an innocent person, and I will have claimed a thousand lives. One day we'll meet again. Let me do this for you, please."

--------

It was terrible. Satoru knew that one day, your fate's would intertwine again. And on that day, you'd take your last breath.

"Under Jujutsu Regulations, t-the curse user known as [n-name]-he choked out a sob-[l. name] must be executed."

It was the first time after the day you left him, that he had cried again.

You didn't put up a fight. You smiled as blood poured out of your mouth. You held a piece of paper in your hand when you died.

It read:

I ᴅɪᴅ ɪᴛ, Sᴀᴛᴏʀᴜ. Fʀᴏᴍ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴀʏ ᴏᴜʀ ᴅᴀᴜɢʜᴛᴇʀ ᴡᴀs ʀᴇʙᴏʀɴ, I ʜᴀᴠᴇ ɢɪᴠᴇɴ ʜᴇʀ ᴜɴᴄᴏɴᴅɪᴛɪᴏɴᴀʟ ʟᴏᴠᴇ. [ᴅ. ɴᴀᴍᴇ] ɪs ᴀ ʟᴏᴠᴇʟʏ ɢɪʀʟ. I ᴋɴᴏᴡ ʏᴏᴜ'ʟʟ ᴛʀᴇᴀᴛ ʜᴇʀ ᴊᴜsᴛ ᴀs ᴡᴇʟʟ ᴀs ʏᴏᴜ ᴅɪᴅ ɪɴ ᴏᴜʀ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀ ʟɪꜰᴇᴛɪᴍᴇ.

I ᴏɴʟʏ ᴡɪsʜ I ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ʙᴇ ʜᴇʀᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴇxᴘᴇʀɪᴇɴᴄᴇ ɪᴛ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜ.

Sᴛᴀʏ sᴛʀᴏɴɢ ꜰᴏʀ ᴏᴜʀ ʟɪᴛᴛʟᴇ ɢɪʀʟ. I ʟᴏᴠᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴏᴛs.

⁻Yᴏᴜʀ ᴏɴᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ᴏɴʟʏ [ɴᴀᴍᴇ].

He cried for hours, holding your dead body. You named her the same name you had given her in his other lifetime. He...never told you what you named her.

--------

"Daddy!" A girl shouts gleefully as she gets pushed forward on a swing.

"Wheeee! Isn't this fun, darling?" Satoru pushes his daughter carefully.

"Very! Hehe!" The little girl giggles.

--------

Satoru opened his eyes as he awakened on a grassy field. 'I fell asleep...where am I?' He looks around to see a faint figure on a hill, painting.

Walking closer, he sees, it's you. It's...you?... "[n-name]?"

He runs and hugs you so tight, you think you'd have died again from his hug.

"I can't stay long Satoru but... I wanted to check up on you. How is [d. name]?"

He smiled. "She's turning seven next month! She's also inherited your cursed technique."

"That's lovely. I'm so proud of you Satoru."

"Of course! I'm not the strongest sorcerer for nothing! It makes me the best father!"

You two talked for what seemed to be like an eternity.

"I have to go now, Satoru." You smiled softly.

"I know name. I love you. [l. name] [d. name.] loves you a lot too. She's never forgotten about you or what you look like, and I intend to keep it that way."

Your eyes widen in surprise. He gave her your last name.

"Goodbye. I love you, Satoru." You whispered as you faded away.

[tala-bez-i]

At first sight II Chapter Four

(m!reader x Bonten!Haruchiyo Sanzu)

Fluff/slash/reader is male/cursing/BontenTimeline/drugs and alcohol mentioned/violence/blood/death

All characters that appeared in the Tokyo Revengers manga and anime belong to Ken Wakui.

Words: 3325

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Okay. 

Maybe you felt a certain weakness towards young men who were petite and acted more girlishly. Maybe it was some kind of sexual attraction, some kind of deviation, but that didn't mean you looked at them more often than at women. 

Fuck, since you were with Emi, you didn't look at other partners. You were able to be faithful to the person you were in a relationship with. 

Oh, right, if your situation with Sanzu was completely different, you wouldn't even be interested in the lab assistant, so that also said something, right? 

You weren't a terrible person, and you didn't cheat. And the fact that you had some difficulty tearing your eyes away from Junko's photo earlier didn't mean anything. You might as well have been mad at Emi when she was jabbering about her favorite actor, but you didn't. 

You were just human beings and having such weaknesses was normal. You remembered your crushes on the heroines of mangas that your older sisters read, although comparing the attractiveness of fictional characters to real people was a rather far-fetched attempt to wriggle out of having impure thoughts. 

As long as Emi didn't find out about your obsession with Haruchiyo, you would be in a fairly happy relationship. And looking at his pictures and inhaling the scent of his perfume wasn't cheating in your eyes. Not at all, not at all. 

You rested your hands on the sink and looked at your reflection in the mirror carefully. 

You understood the previous events, although after the first time-leap you were slightly confused to discover what kind of relationship you were in with Sanzu. Now you felt like you were up to your neck in shit. 

You were a police investigator, but you didn't feel good about it. Sure, it had always been your dream, mostly because of your fascination with your uncle, Tsuyoshi, but now you didn't feel good about it. Even memories of previously closed murder, robbery and assault cases didn't help. It just wasn't what you were used to. Everything was completely different on the other side of the barricade. 

Now, there were many things you shouldn't do, because you were on the side of the law, or at least when it suited you and everyone was watching your back, because after all, making it difficult for other investigators to get their hands on Sanzu wasn't something you should have done. So far, no one had caught you doing anything, but you were playing with fire. 

You grimaced when you saw how tired you looked today. You were pale and irritable, although you tried to be relatively polite towards your colleagues. You all had to work hard, and picking on each other was the least necessary thing not only in the workplace but also outside of it. 

It was enough for you that after Emi returned home, you learned that she had been selected for special training outside Tokyo, which was to last three days. You didn't like the fact that the woman accepted the offer at all. Yes, you supported her, but you preferred to have her by your side. Mainly because you didn't know how far Yuji's tentacles reached. 

"Ugh... I'll never touch nato again. I only have problems after eating it." Okumura said, leaving one of the toilet stalls. 

"You already said that two weeks ago." You noticed, watching the man's reflection in the mirror as he washed his hands. 

"I know, I know... I can't resist a bit of that thing." 

"Uh-huh. Don't you have another way to please your wife than by eating her favorite food with her?" 

The man laughed shortly and looked at you, not hiding his amusement. 

“And this is coming from a guy who turns into a housewife to get laid.” 

“Do we always have to change our conversations to include the topic of sex?” You asked as you walked up to the door to the room. “Fuck, some people already consider us perverts.” 

“They’re jealous and we don’t talk about it that often.” Okumura followed you, checking his phone. “So, when are you going to be alone?” 

“In a week.” 

“Maybe we can go to a club then and have some fun, hmm?” 

“Shouldn’t you be taking care of your wife?” You looked over your shoulder at him and the man grimaced slightly. “What month is it already?” 

“Sixth...” He replied with a sigh, then smiled widely. “She's amazing. At first we only wanted one child, but now...” He lifted his dreamy gaze up and the corners of your lips twitched as if you wanted to smile. “She's beautiful and she blooms so wonderfully when she's pregnant...” 

“Slow down a bit, or the poor thing will exhaust herself.” You joked. “This is the third pregnancy, and you said yourself that this time it'll be twins.” 

“You know, Y/n...” He put his phone away and straightened his tie. “It's not like I'm taking her by force...” 

“And it's not like you don't know what condoms are for.” You added with a malicious smile and the man grimaced again. 

“Okay, fine. I promise this is the last time my princess is pregnant.” 

“Aha, bullshit.” You mumbled. 

“Hey, have you managed to find out what our colleague had in his bag yet?” Shinji changed the subject as you approached the door to the office where you worked. 

“Yeah. Ecstasy and cocaine.” 

“Not bad. I wonder how much of it he had...” 

“I guess we'll never know. One thing's for sure, there were trace amounts of banned substances in his system, including a small amount of alcohol, equivalent to one large beer.” 

“So...” Okumura frowned slightly. “You could say the victim was sober.” 

“Let's just say he was conscious and could have easily tried to defend himself.” You nodded, handing the man Junko's recently printed blood test results. 

“So why didn't he do it?” Shinji wondered out loud as he looked through the documents he was given. 

Exactly, why? “Maybe he knew the perpetrator?” 

“And he turned his back to him, feeling safe? There were no signs of restraints on his body, at least not on his hands. Wide marks on his ankles, probably from belts.” He cursed quietly. “Hey, have you seen all the results?” 

“Yeah, from the autopsy itself too.” You nodded, knowing perfectly well what your partner was talking about. “This hasn't happened before. Or at least not for years.” 

“They drained most of the blood out of him.” He leaned over the desk, carefully reading the results. “You could barely tell he was that pale under that makeup. Do you think they let him bleed out in the bathtub?” 

“They would have done just as well if they had hung him from the ceiling.” You said quietly, feeling the gazes of several colleagues who were working at their desks and had involuntarily heard your not-so-loud conversation. “Those marks on the ankles...” 

“Ah, yes, yes, yes... I see, I see. It could have been some kind of harness. I see.” Okumura nodded enthusiastically, his eyes lighting up. “It won’t be easy to find the crime scene. I can think of slaughterhouses, fish warehouses...” 

“Or something more private and out of the way.” Shimizu said as he approached your desk, holding a cardboard folder in his hands, which he handed to you. “That’s all we managed to find out about your victim. Takenaka asked me to give it to you.” 

“Takenaka?” You asked in surprise and opened the folder, from the photo on the first page looking at you was a smiling Junko, but without a wig. 

“Yeah, it turns out we have someone among our own connected to the criminal world... I mean...” Your younger colleague was confused. “I mean through his relative.” 

“I see, Shimizu. Where did older Takenaka get it from?” 

“He was supposed to convince him to quit crime.” 

“But that's against the rules, right?” You frowned. 

“Someone knew someone and didn't want it to end badly.” The man replied quietly and took a step back, as if to leave. 

“Wait, how's Shimada?” Shinji asked suddenly, and a smile appeared on your friend's lips. 

He stuck out his thumb. “She agreed to my terms.” 

“Huh?” You raised your gaze to look at both men. 

“I convinced our colleague to offer Shimada a relationship or alimony if everything works out. Since she agreed, the sample must have been accepted.” Okumura explained and a blush appeared on the young man's cheeks. 

“Congratulations and I keep my fingers crossed for further positive developments.” You said, smiling sincerely. Maybe the department will actually be able to take a break from the woman... 

“Thank you, that means a lot to us.” Shimizu bowed and Okumura smiled cheekily. 

“See, I told you that the natural way is the best.” 

“Okumura, focus on your work, please.” The senior investigator who was just passing by your desks butted in. He grabbed his younger colleague by the arm and pulled him towards the exit. “Come on, Shimizu, before that stud bull messes with your brain with his next piece of advice.” 

“Hey!” Your partner got indignant, making a scowl, but he let it go and went back to reading the documents in front of him. “A vile old monkey.” 

“Jun Takenaka, alias Junko Yoshioka.” You said, changing the subject. “Associated with Jin Nagasawa… Suspected affiliation with Bonten.” 

“It'll be still hard without them, fuck.” Shinji grumbled, then looked at you, wondering something. “Nagasawa, I think I've heard that name somewhere before...” 

“He runs a brothel in the Red Lanterns.” You fed him the information. 

“Yeah, that's what I thought... We'll have to look for him, right?” 

You typed his name into the database search engine and shook your head, seeing what Tomoko had told you. 

“The guy is serving a sentence for assault...” Interesting. “So, he definitely had nothing to do with this.” 

“Fuck... Hey, maybe his girls know something?” 

“You want to talk to the prostitutes.” You stated the fact, not revealing the information you already had. 

“Sure. Maybe they'll be nice enough and know something?” He closed the cardboard folder and looked at you meaningfully. “Shall we go?” 

“Like, now?” You asked, genuinely surprised. 

“Sure. Places like this aren’t just open at night. There’ll be fewer customers during the day.” He stood up from his chair and pursed his lips slightly. “Come on, we’ll get this over with.” 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It didn't take you long to find the right brothel where Nagasawa and Yoshioka's boys were serving their clients. On the contrary, you had the impression that Okumura knew exactly who to ask for directions. 

At first, you thought that your partner had already been to this place, after all, he sometimes used the services of the girls, but... You were wrong. His face told you everything - this was not what he expected. 

As soon as you crossed the threshold of the two-story building, the relaxing scent of candles and fresh flowers that stood in the lobby reached your nostrils. The place itself did not resemble a brothel, which was slightly disturbing, but not unpleasant. 

You were greeted by a young man close to your age who was dressed in a shirt and dress pants but had a corset around his waist that accentuated his figure, showing off his broad back and strong arms. 

“The bosses are not here at the moment.” He said in a smooth voice that you were sure many women would like to hear in intimate situations. “Our boys and girls have never gotten into major trouble and are always happy to cooperate with the police.” 

The boys and girls, who were also really young men, stood lined up against one of the walls looking at you and your partner with undisguised curiosity, and Okumura did not hold back. He did not expect this and it was clearly visible on his face. 

“I take it everyone is here?” You said, looking at the line of 8 small-bodied young men who looked so much like girls that you wondered where Nagasawa got them all. 

“Yes.” The man lowered his voice, leaning forward slightly, almost speaking into your ear. “I received information that we should expect you gentlemen soon. From Ko-chan.” 

“Ah, I see.” You cleared your throat and looked into his eyes, which were framed by long, black eyelashes. “Am I to understand that they know the latest news?” 

The man pressed his lips together slightly and lowered his gaze for a split second. “No. Please be gentle. It might break them.” 

“Okumura.” You said louder, drawing the attention of the man, whose face showed uncertainty. It was nice to watch. “Take care of the half.” You added in a whisper. “Ask about suspicious clients.” 

“Sure, boss.” The other grumbled and looked at the man who was currently in charge of the male prostitutes. 

He pointed to one of the rooms that usually served as a meeting room and Shinji pointed to one of the young men dressed in cute dresses. 

He smiled politely and followed the investigator with a light step, as if his feet weren't high heels but ordinary fluffy slippers. 

“I would ask you to be patient.” You turned to the others, opened the door to the other room and looked at the boy who was wearing a wig with long blond curls. “Please follow me...” 

“Anna.” He said, giving his voice a gentle tone, and as he passed you in the doorway, you smelled the scent of white flowers, which you found pleasant. 

You had to keep it as professional as possible, otherwise it could have been bad... 

Anna sat on the edge of the bed with his legs politely together and his hands placed together on his thighs. He watched you carefully, but not intrusively, waiting for the conversation to begin. 

You nodded slightly, handing him your business card, which he quickly put into a small pouch he had with him, and you pulled your notebook out of the inside pocket of your jacket, then cleared your throat again. 

“Okay, Anna. This is not an official interrogation, but it would be much easier for us if you started cooperating right away and told us everything you could possibly know.” You said, and the young man nodded, letting you know that he understood. 

“Aren't you going to ask for my real personal details?” He asked, smiling slightly, but a little more nervously. 

“No. Not this time. Your bosses wouldn't be happy if I started snooping around here, would they?” 

“Oh.” He relaxed and fixed a strand of hair. “This is about that client, right?” 

“Yes, yes...” 

“Boss, Jin went to jail for the guy, because he finally couldn't take it anymore and beat him up.” The boy said, lowering his voice. “I shouldn't talk about it too much, but it's the truth. The guy paid the most and gave gifts to his favorite girls, but... Over time, he started acting more confident and eventually the incident happened.” 

“To the incident?” 

Anna shrugged. “He tried to take one of us by force. Junko didn’t like that at all, so she pointed out to him that if he didn’t calm down, he’d be banned from here. So the guy started to attack the boss. Junko wouldn’t let herself be pushed around and reported him to Jin.” 

“Then there was a beating?” 

“Yes. The boss wiped the floor with that guy and would have probably killed him if it wasn't for Haji...” She gestured to the door and you guessed that she was referring to the man who was guarding the business while the boss was away. “Unfortunately, the client was influential enough to go to the police and they locked Jin up.” 

“Was he influential enough or did he just sell the police some story without admitting how the beating happened?” The boy blinked a few times and his eyes started to move along the wall behind you until they finally landed on your face again. 

“I don't know, sorry. Each of us will tell you the same thing, because we were there. Maybe the boss, Junko, will know more, because two days after the boss was arrested, the client came here and demanded to talk.” 

“What did he want to talk about?” 

“Junko mentioned that he wanted to apologize for getting carried away because he took something, some drugs or whatever…” He shrugged. “The point is that he and Junko must have come to some sort of agreement because she accepted the gift from him.” 

“Can you tell me what it was, Anna?” 

“Oh, a pendant. An expensive one, with a teddy bear. The boss loves teddy bears.” The boy smiled, reaching his hand to his neck. “That was the most expensive gift he’s ever left here.” She laughed briefly, amused by her own thought. “I’m sure Jin would shove that pendant right down his throat if he saw it. Junko too, if they hadn’t come to an agreement.” He leaned forward with a smile. “The thing is the client promised to get the boss out of prison sooner.” 

“But Nagasawa was arrested almost two years ago…” 

“Uh, no... That was a year ago, sir. Jin was supposed to be released in three months, that’s how much our client managed to get.” 

That’s interesting... You wrote down everything Anna told you. “So this client is influential enough to get someone’s sentence shortened? Who is he?” 

Anna blinked and her eyes widened. “I don’t know. We only know him as Uncle Shou.” 

“Uncle Shou?” You asked and the boy nodded. 

“Uh-huh. Haji should have a picture of him. There are cameras in the lobby.” 

“Thank you. Can you tell me more, Anna?” You asked and the boy looked away before shaking his head. 

“No, I’m afraid not, sir. But if I remember anything else, I’ll let you know.” He smiled politely and you nodded. 

“In that case, thank you for talking to me.” You led the small man to the door and ushered the other one into the room. 

“I don't want business cards.” The black-haired young man, who you noticed wasn't wearing a wig, said quickly. 

“Alright...” The man sat down on the chair next to the dressing table and crossed his legs, arms folded across his chest. 

“Jun's missing.” The black-haired man blurted out, and you looked at him in surprise. 

“Excuse me?” 

“I'm not an idiot like the others.” He frowned. “You're not here because of the intruder, you're here because of Junko.” 

Oh, okay. “Yeah, that's true.” 

“Great. Junko was supposed to meet with someone about that client and make a deal, we both know what that's about.” 

“Drugs. I know Junko was Bonten's dealer.” 

“They had nothing to do with it. It was someone from the outside.” 

“You know a lot, right?” 

“Okay.” He stood up from his chair and walked closer, stopping right in front of you. You looked into each other's eyes and the young man leaned forward, bringing his face very close to yours. “I'll tell you everything, but at an official hearing. What do you think?” 

“When can you come over?” 

“Tomorrow, first thing in the morning.” 

“Aren’t you afraid someone will report you to the higher-ups?” 

“I don’t give a damn. Junko was important to us and it would be better for those bastards if you caught the person responsible for all this, right?” 

“Report to me or Okumura for questioning…” 

“I’ll only talk to you. That’s an order.” 

“Order from whom?” 

“From Ko-chan.” He replied, heading towards the door, before which he stopped and looked at you once more. “You’re just like her. I can see it in your eyes.” 

You stood in the middle of the room, frozen in place, and only the appearance of another young man tore you from your astonishment. What did that mean, that you were just like Tomoko? What did he think he saw in your eyes? 

<PREVIOUS/NEXT>

[zvtara-was-never-canon]

Bryke was in the Podcasts Braving Element book fire, and one the most interesting in that conversation was Bryke say Kataang relationship in Book fire was their favorite and Basco he is vibing for Maiko, but he say the headband episode is technically filler, it means is not canon that episode? What you think?

"Filler" was an anime term, about episodes that existed solely to give the manga they were adapting extra time to get more content for them to adapt. The filler episodes are canon (to the anime versions at least), but they don't move the plot forward, so if you skip them you don't miss anything important.

Eventually the term stopped being used solely for anime - and some idiots started using it to mean "bad episode", but the actual meaning is still the same: the episode can be skipped without the audience being confused. Only now these episodes exist not to catch up with a source material (in Avatar's case there wasn't one in the first place since it was an original series, not an adaptation) but rather as a "breather" episode, that can be more light-hearted, or character-driven instead of plot-driven.

To give an Avatar exemple: "Tales of Ba Sing Se" is filler, but it's still canon. It does not, in any way, further the Dai Li plot the previous episode had established - but we get focus on the characters, their personalities, dynamics, and THE tear-jerker that is Iroh singing to both honor his son and express his grief over his death. We already knew Lu Ten was dead and Iroh was grieving, but this episode gives it further depth.

Even if "The Headband" was filler, it'd still be canon - and so would be the dance with Katara clearly being into Aang.

And I personally do NOT consider "The Headband" filler. It furthers the whole theme of the season and the series ("How do you rebuild a world consumed by war? Through kindness"), we (and more importantly, the protagonist) get a deeper look into the indoctrination the people of the Fire Nation are subjected to, and more importantly, it is the episode in which we are introduced to Combustion man - ya know, the assassin that will try to kill the Gaang? The secondary villain of half the season? The one that is Zuko's attempt to resolve the problem of "The Avatar is supposed to be dead" that the previous episode introduced? Aka it is connected both to the aftermath of the Ba Sing Se plot and the "Zuko goes from villain to ally of the good guys" plot?

You CAN'T skip this episode without being confused as to who the fuck is that guy chasing the Gaang and who sent him after them. You'd have to wait until his last appearance, in which Zuko confronts him, for you to realize what the villain's deal was, meaning that PLOT would only become coherent after it was basically resolved.

It furthers the plot, therefore it isn't filler. It's just not ALL about the plot. By that logic, nearly every episode of season one is filler. The Beach is filler. Well over half the fucking show is filler if we're only counting episodes that have BIG, plot-twisting events as "important" episodes. Bryke need to stop parroting fandom nonsense to gain points.

As for Dante Basco being all excited about Maiko despite being a big zutara fan, that does not surprise me. He has ALWAYS said he liked their romance, and that Mai is the kind of girl he'd try getting with in real life.

Once again, the epic "power struggle" between Zutara fans and the evil dark lords Bryan and Mike is only in the fandom's weird minds. They weren't always kind to shippers, but the simple fact that they're so chill with Dante, and lots of other people, including writersn who went on his podcast and said everything from "I don't really care for Zutara, but I think could have worked" to "It's one of my OTPs" shows that this "Bryke VS Zutara" war is VERY one-sided and exists solely because people can't accept that, no, the writers are not throwing away their entire plan just to please you.

[dynmghts]

ykw caps ahead so spoilers ahoy for the new ep bc i cannot go without talking through my feelings on the matter even tho i just spent the past few hrs going through one of the most frustrating dungeons in destiny

AGAIN: anime spoilers!! if you haven't watched the ep and don't want to get spoiled, don't look!!!!

first of all SOMEBODY SAVE HIM ????????

i also forgot that shigafo just kinda. threw it in his face. "you'll be a great present for him" SHUT UPPPP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP KILLING KATSUKI FOR HIM TO BE A "GIFT" FOR IZUKU WHEN HE'S BACK DON'T EVEN

and obviously this is not showing the animation but my guy was struggling to fucking breathe there too. and shigafo being smth like "aren't you just so glad my quirks are erased :)" bro would've legit disintegrated him on the spot. my god. and i think this is also such a brutal contrast to the way tomura tried to approach katsuki during the whole kamino kidnapping thing like...

understated development of "i'm offering you to join us bc i think you get what it's like to be shunned by society for who you are" -> "you as a person don't interest me anymore, i just want to use you to achieve my end goal" (influenced by afo)

these shots tho... i wasn't sure how well they were gonna adapt this bc i thought that the arm being mangled was def censored, but this shit was pretty fucking crazy for me to see.

the tears. the fierce determination in his gaze. the fact that he looks like he's struggling and in pain but he's watching shigafo's every move and examining it and muttering it under his breath, emulating midoriya izuku in this moment, channelling the one person that believes him to be the symbol of victory.

"i have to win... right, izuku?" THE CALLBACK TO DK + BKG VS. ALL MIGHT. THE WAY NOBUHIKO VOICED HIM IN THIS MOMENT.

like. yes, the anime is not one-for-one with the manga. i get that. i understand that. and their choices regarding the adaptation are not everyone's cup of tea - but as someone who has consumed both forms, i view them very separately in their chosen art medium, bc let's be real, horikoshi's art is EXTREMELY hard to replicate. so with what bones is achieving here, i think it's pretty damn impressive. especially during the brief fight scene with shigafo, like...

the animation felt fluid, concise, and each frame had meaning to it. they demonstrated katsuki's quirk in action through his whole body true to the manga, and you could FEEL katsuki's struggle through the entire sequence. like? his arm was shattered. he was IN PAIN. you can tell he's out of breath because he's trying so hard to focus on moving out of shigafo's attacks to land his own, and of course one of his last thoughts are about izuku...

also the contrast of a high-risk and high-danger battle to the gentle, quiet, genuine thoughts in his mind - the way nobuhiko as katsuki speaks so softly, expressing his understanding for what izuku had to do to get where he is with ofa now. the way he reflects on the past year in that instance like "you had to endure pain and predict your opponents too, right? this is what you went through?" almost this sort of... "i finally understand what you had to experience, and there's a deep-seated respect that comes with it". yknow what i mean?

ALSO THIS: HE'S SO FUCKING SOFT HERE. FUCK. END ME RIGHT NOWWWWW I CAN'T DO THIS TODAY

and he's so honest to the vestige all might here too like "i was such a fucking brat back at the start of ua huh"... then him admitting that even when he WAS acting that way, all he truly wanted was that autograph on his card. his CARD. the SAME CARD he got when he AND IZUKU won the cards together. the same one he's taken with him onto that battlefield - and in my humble opinion, the one he keeps on his person as a sort of "good luck" token.

i absolutely adored the contrast of the battlefield darkening and becoming more gloomy (weather change, grass all kicked up and is instead dirt, the dimming of the typical lighting) vs. this brief moment where katsuki was face-to-face with all might. in this quiet and absent white space with nothing but himself and the man in front of him. when i say he knew he was going to die and he walked into death anyway................

and of course, for the final cap i got, which is arguably the most painful one for me to look at:

the dull eyes, discoloured skin, messy hair, the blood all over his face and chest... the fact that jeanist actually went to immediately treat him for the wound, not thinking he was dead, only to look back in shock and horror at this boy on the ground.

bakugou katsuki, the boy who swore he'd win the sports festival.

bakugou katsuki, the boy who visited jeanist's agency for the sake of him being in the top ten, who took away valuable lessons enough to consider interning there again in the winter.

bakugou katsuki, the boy who was kidnapped and thought would turn tail, only to prove everyone wrong by sticking to his morals.

the boy who learned to save, who learned to combat his own weakness, who followed izuku into the fray when he knew something wasn't right during the paranormal liberation war, who fought tooth and nail to find and bring izuku home with a genuine and honest apology, who spent his week leading up to the war strategising and improving and bolstering camaraderie among the class in his own unique way...

everyone on that battlefield knew katsuki had ambitions to be the next number one hero, and to exceed all might. everyone saw this freshly 17 year-old boy walk right into death and knew they wouldn't have been able to stop him, but they all wished they could.

the mood shift in the episode was very well captured to me. i felt that the anime did a great job showcasing how the hope they had before, from shouto's win against touya, had bolstered the confidence in the heroes - and how quickly that hope turned to despair when the team at the floating ua watched a young and hopeful hero-to-be throw his life down, all for the chance of victory.

and then i get to do this all again when the dub drops. :(

[confinedmadness]

A Case of Withdrawal Symptoms: Ace of Diamond

I’ve followed the Ace of Diamond series (both anime and manga) regularly for years and to this day. Ace of Diamond remains one of my all time favorite stories. Act II, in particular, I feel was even better than the already amazing Act I.

I avoided reading the last 30 or so chapters for a while but the other day I finally read everything and now I feel so in need of something to fill the DnA shaped hole in my heart. So today, I decided to just write about a few of my favorite characters in the manga. Along the way, I’ll also slightly touch upon story points and character relationships/interactions.

～★～☆ ～★～☆ ～★～☆ ～★～☆ ～★～☆ ～★～☆ ～★～☆ ～★～

Kawakami Norifumi

Nori is my favorite character in the whole Ace of Diamond series, hands down. There is no contest, not even close. Nori is not only a character who we see from the very beginning of Act I and continue to see until the end of Act II, Nori is a very well-written character. He develops gradually in a believable way and at a realistic pace. He is someone whose growth we get to witness.

The best part? Nori is one of, if not the most relatable character among the main cast because he is not a genius, he is not particularly attractive or strong or smart. He has above-average baseball skills at best, with a relatively quiet personality that does not stand out, but a whole lot of resolve and mental fortitude.

I’ve said this before in a post I wrote way back, and I will say it again: Nori is the kind of person I strive to be. Good at what he does even if he’s not out-of-this-world amazing. Dependable and trustworthy, someone the people around him rely upon. Hardworking and resilient in the face of being looked down upon. Most of all, does not give up on improving himself despite being around people who are naturally better than him.

It’s so easy to lose motivation to learn something when someone else younger and newer comes along and has the abilities you don’t. But Nori reminds me that there is value in improving yourself for your self, that consistency is gained through hard work not “natural talent”, and that center stage cannot shine without the backstage hands.

At the end, when Furuya told Nori directly how much his presence makes him feel at ease, I just cried. Because yes, I did say that everything Nori represents is a good thing to work towards, but it’s also true you may not receive as much recognition as the geniuses. And being acknowledged like that? Hits you right in the feels and the tears of joy just won’t stop.

Miyuki Kazuya

I think most people who know me in real life or who’ve read my blog think Miyuki is my favorite character because I fangirl about him a lot. Miyuki has a lot of traits I love about a person: talented but hardworking, serious but knows how to have fun. In fact, no matter how much I love fanfiction and fanarts, I tend to be really picky about the ones featuring Miyuki because I find that they often forget or ignore the facets of Miyuki’s personality that I love. 

Fan creations tend to depict Miyuki as quiet, cold, and aloof. But for me, the best parts about Miyuki is his fun-loving, goofy attitude and his whole-hearted love and passion for baseball. He likes annoying enemies, poking fun at friends, laughing at other people. He’s not stuffy about hierarchy and judges people based on merit not seniority. He loves new challenges and finds excitement in playing with or against strong baseball players.

And yet, no matter how much I love Miyuki on his own, I feel that his relationships with other characters are some of the best in the series. A lot of his character growth is spurred by a relationship with another character instead of a more individual progress like Nori’s.

In terms of baseball and as an athlete, his rivalry/friendship with characters like Mima and Narumiya are some of my favorites. I love the wholesomeness of their rivalries. There is never malice or spite when they go against each other in games. Narumiya is probably the person in the series who has known Miyuki the longest. I’ve said this before but I love that Narumiya and Miyuki call each other by their first names. It emphasizes the fact that they’ve known each other since childhood. And now here they are, the stars of their respective teams.

In terms of leadership and as a person, his growth was shown a lot through his partnership with Sawamura and Furuya, his relationship with the Seidou coaching team, Chris, Yuuki, and Maezono, among others. He changes from being relatively self-centered, to thinking more about his teammates and the team as a whole. He learned to be more mindful and sensitive about others, as well as knowing that he can rely on his team as much as he is relied upon.

Finally, his friendship with Kuramochi is one of the most stable, most frequently depicted, and also often overlooked relationships. Though never explicitly stated in the series, Kuramochi is probably the closest thing Miyuki has to a best friend. They don’t have many really emotional moments together, but they understand each other and have each other’s backs. Kuramochi is the person Miyuki confides in when he has problems. And they’re both the first to notice something good or bad about the other. I don’t know about you, but that constancy is amazing. Regardless of whether they remain close in the future or not, I think a friendship like theirs is something to treasure for life. 

Sawamura Eijun

DnA is one of the few series whose main character I love. I think it was in one of my first ever posts about DnA that I mentioned how Sawamura is someone you really want to cheer for. A lot of anime/manga, especially in the sports genre, tell the viewers/readers that *insert main character name* makes you want to support them and help them succeed. But, Sawamura is one of the very few who actually makes you feel that way.

Personally, I believe this is due to the effective way the author shows that Sawamura is a multidimensional character. He has a very clear base personality that defines him as a person, but like every human in history, he is not just that. Different situations and even the shortest moments can bring out anger or frustration or even silence.

Sawamura is loud, optimistic, hardworking. But he can also get annoyed at his teammates, can feel jealous of his rivals, is susceptible to judging people without getting to know them, or can put far too much pressure on himself unnecessarily. I love that the series shows all of this unapologetically. He is not good with certain types of people, but even if he never becomes their best friend, he learns to get along with them. These types of character building make him human, and make you appreciate his usual noisy, laughing self even better.

My favorite part about Sawamura is how open he is to both learning new things and being corrected when he’s wrong. Not only is he willing to be taught, he does not ignore people that point out his mistakes. Of course, he gets embarrassed but he apologizes if he hurts someone, and trains when his skill or knowledge is lacking or wrong.

If not for this attitude, Chris would not have taught him all the baseball basics he clearly lacked, he would not be close enough to Miyuki to experiment with his pitches together or hangout in his room, Kataoka would not have given him the chance to be on the roster, Okumura would have stayed disappointed in him. He would never have been good enough to be the ace of the team.

And what’s even more amazing is that it’s not just the readers who go through a getting-to-know phase with Sawamura. His own teammates go from getting annoyed at his yelling to actually looking forward to hearing it, from wanting to support him to being supported by him as well, from cheering him on to relying on him as their ace.

～★～☆ ～★～☆ ～★～☆ ～★～☆ ～★～☆ ～★～☆ ～★～☆ ～★～

I don’t know if I’ll do something like this again, but I definitely want more DnA content coming my way because I am missing it so much. Tereading the series right now only makes me even sadder, but what can I say, I love making myself happy-sad.

[panicloser]

Some crying headcanons for DDLC

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Natsuki

-Natsuki hates the fact that she cries so easily. It makes her feel so weak and stupid but unfortunately for her it’s often how her body reacts to pain 

-She hates it when people make a big deal about it 

-Used to be good at holding back her tears but ever since she joined the literature club and made friends there, she struggles to 

-Natsuki’s “friends”/ex-friends would always make fun of her for crying over “stupid things” 

-Her Papa has always told her not to cry, but he’s a hypocrite, he secretly cries just as easily 

-A sympathy crier. If she sees someone that she cares about crying, she’ll also start tearing up 

-When she’s sobbing, she wants to be hugged so bad but she can’t ask for it 

-Brags that she never cries over fiction, do not believe her, it is a lie, she has bawled more times than she can count to anime and manga. She’s less likely to in front of others though 

Sayori 

-Mostly cries in private, crying in front of others makes them worry, obviously she wants to avoid that but many of her friends have seen her tear up before 

-When she’s having a very bad day she either can’t stop crying or feels to numb to cry at all 

-Hates the numb feeling more than the crying. At least crying feels therapeutic 

-Knows how to fake cry, can make herself tear up with ease 

-Her real cry is actually very quiet which is convenient for her when she wants to hide in her room and cry 

-Surprisingly isn’t a sympathy crier, she feels the need to stay strong when others are in distress 

-She’s a bit more okay with crying in front of others if it’s over fiction 

Monika 

-Rarely cries, at least that’s what she has everyone believe 

-She’s remarkably skilled at holding it together when she feels like she might burst into tears. A skill she’s perfected over the years 

-When she’s alone and her stress is building up, she finds it helpful to have a stress cry 

-An ugly crier. Big time. One of the reasons why she refuses to cry in front of others, she finds it horribly embarrassing 

-Sobs over romance novels/movies while saying “that should be me” 

-First time she cried in front of the club no one knew what to do 

-Recovers quickly 

-Gets crying headaches 

Yuri 

-Despite being a very emotional person she rarely cries. Only in her most emotional moments 

-You know she’s really fed up and/or scared when she’s crying over it 

-Although when she does cry it’s never just tearing up it’s always full-on tears streaming down sobbing and it’s impossible to hide it 

-It’s reassuring to know that she won’t cry in front of people if she’s nervous or something like that, so she has one less thing to worry about when interacting with people 

-Sometimes she wishes she could cry more easily so that she would have a healthier coping mechanism 

-Feels like she’s way too loud when she cries 

-Has a cried over a select few pieces of fiction and they’re very special to her 

-Also gets crying headaches 

[hotwaterandmilk]

No Accounting for Taste

I've never been accused of having "good taste" when it comes to, well, any type of media. However, when it comes anime/manga I find I'm accused of being contrarian or ignoring genuinely "good" titles in favour of "bad" ones fairly often.

While that's not exactly groundless, it doesn't paint the full picture of what I find interesting and why it intrigues me so I thought I'd write about it a little.

I like a lot of popular, agreed upon "good" titles where a masterful artist or team or artists executes a beautiful vision that may not get everything right, but still manages to tick the majority of boxes and leave the audience remembering the experience for years to come (something like Shoujo Kakumei Utena or Cowboy Bebop, for example).

However, these series don't tend to be the ones I obsess about and collect things from and that comes down to the fact that I just love an interesting mess. Something that catches my attention in a unique way despite not having the story weight/talent/etc. to pull it all off.

You know those series with a fantastic concept but terrible execution? Or series with a couple of genuinely fascinating characters and mediocrity across the board otherwise? Yeah, those are what I love.

That doesn't mean I turn my head and ignore these flaws (Akihabara Dennou-gumi for example has a fantastic backdrop of alchemy, but that doesn't excuse the disgusting fanservice or explain piss-poor overall production).

If anything, I find those flaws intriguing in their own right (how does something with so much promise end up failing to stick the landing? Why were these the directions these titles took?) and learning about why they happened can continue to fuel my interest in the titles years after I've first experienced them.

And of course what is "good" and what is "bad" is extremely subjective, not everyone will agree on what the "best" title of all time is no matter how many fans you survey. I think what matters to me at the end of the day is that, for whatever reason, an eclectic assortment of titles have just hit me at the exact right point in my life for me to become engrossed by their eccentricities, flaws, and yes, even their successes.

That's why you'll find me sharing the odd scan from genre-defining titles like Sailor Moon, but when it comes to tearing apart art books and tracking down obscure pieces of stationery, I reserve that kind of dedication for Wedding Peach because it just hit me different 25+ years ago and I still can't shake it (despite the series being what it is).

Anyway, Saturdays are a real brain fog day for me because Friday is when I take my weekly meds so, err, this isn't a particularly articulate examination of my interests or anything. I just got to thinking last night that I find Ryuu-ou Mahoujin more intriguing than GALS! despite the former being a short-lived, break-neck paced mess of a production and the latter being a clearly thought out and popular title from the same author.

I'm also currently re-watching Kamichama Karin and it is such a hot mess of things I can't stand and things that make me genuinely go "what was Koge-Donbo* thinking?" but these flaws compel me to keep pressing play on episode after episode.

I just feel that at the end of the day there's enough room in the world for all of us to enjoy different problematic faves and to highlight successes without pretending failures don't also exist. Every project whether it ends up "good" or "bad" has a team of individuals doing their best on it and I think that's something that resonates with me even if the end product is a total mess.

Sometimes a project veers away from the course it was meant to take and never becomes what it could have been, but those trace elements of brilliance can get noticed by someone who experienced the title at the right time and vibed with the core concepts regardless of the execution.

So creators, take heed, even if the project you work on doesn't end up an iconic series with millions of fans there will always be weirdos like me out there that love the memorable parts of what you did manage to do while also noting the bits you got wrong. Sometimes one person's trash really is someone else's treasure (and yes you'll have to pry Wedding Peach et al. from my cold, dead hands).

[the-yuri-librarian]

Hi..... if you don't mind, can I ask, your top 10 (or top 7) favorite GL media (can be books/ manga/manhwa/baihe/ anime/movies/tv series)? And why you love them? Thanks if you want to answer....

I don't mind at all! In fact, putting together a top ten has been on my to do list for a while but I haven't done it yet because it seems real daunting. But, I'll try my best here. Spoiler alert, my #1 spot is a tie. I love both titles and I can't pick between them:

1a. Pulse (manhwa):

Premise: Mel is an expert surgeon at an esteemed hospital, and she is happy with where she is in her life. Her work is fulfilling, she has tons of sex, and everything seems to be generally going her way. But, she has no real emotional connections. Mel believes that love is a foolish game, so instead of dating with any real seriousness, she chooses to bounce from hook up to hook up. But, that all changes when Mel meets Lynn. Lynn has a fatal heart condition and desperately needs a transplant. But, she wants Mel to be the one to perform the surgery. As Lynn entangles herself in Mel's life, the stone of Mel's heart begins to crack....

Why I love it: the story in Pulse is incredible. Mel's character arc is perfectly developed, and her backstory is very interesting when you finally get there (she's also very hot lol). Lynn is equally well developed, fighting for her life while also contemplating it's value. The ups and downs of their relationship is gripping, and the ending left me in tears. I do think there is a pretty major flaw in the story near the end, but I won't get into it here as I plan on doing a review after I reread it in February. CW: sexual assault. It is a bit of an age gap but not a huge one. Also this is very spicy

1b. Love Thy Neighbor (manhwa):

Premise: Doyeon seems to be perfect. She has a large group of friends, a perfect GPA, and is sailing through med school with ease. But, she has one problem: her neighbor keeps her up at night. Whether it is debt collectors pounding on the door at all hours of the day, or the neighbor crying into the night while the TV plays, Doyeon can't get any sleep. Eventually, the debt collectors get physically aggressive, and Doyeon has no choice but to pull her neighbor into her apartment to save her. The neighbor, a woman named Jin Joo, ends up staying at Doyeon's apartment for her own safety. This is all fine and well, but why is Doyeon starting to have sex dreams about her?

Why I love it: so, three things here right up front: 1. there is also an age gap in this story (which I think is a coincidence), 2. It is very spicy and 3. it is incredibly toxic (to the point that consent between the two characters becomes murky) and not for the faint of heart. With all that out of the way: I love this story. Doyeon is so incredibly interesting as a character (and might be a genuine sociopath); all she wants to do is be loved unconditionally and she never gets it and that internal tension is incredible. The plot is also very dramatic, and it makes it HARD to put it down (also I've read through season 1 like 3 times in 4 months). I literally count the days between chapter releases. I didn't think I would enjoy a psychological drama so much but this one really knocks it out of the park. This drama has the effect of, murky consent aside, making the sex scenes electric. They are so well written, carrying significant narrative weight while also being genuinely very hot. There is this constant battle for control between our romantic leads that leaks into their sex, and it's just chef's kiss. I cannot stress enough how much I love this story. Season 2 just started releasing a couple weeks ago so now is an excellent time to jump on board. (PSA: if anyone my mutuals or followers starts reading this PLEASE send your live reactions to my DMs I will love you forever I wanna talk to someone about this story so bad)

3. Qualia the Purple (manga)

Premise: [Redacted]

Why I love it: so this is by far the weirdest love story I have ever read, and it is terribly sad. How far would you go to save the person you love most? The lengths Yukari wuld go to save her love are endless, and her desperation is what makes this tale worth reading. I really don't want to say too much here because this story is best experienced knowing as little about is as possible before you start reading it (also why I didn't include a premise). As a heads up: this story is deeply philosophical and may make you cry. Be sure to read the afterword

4. Nevermore (webtoon)

Premise: Lenore and Annabel Lee both wake up on a distant shore with no memories of who they are. Chased by bizarre spirits, they flea until they stumble upon Nevermore Academy. Here, they are told that they are dead, and that they are here to compete for a second chance at life. Also, they can turn into ghosts with superpowers. As they being to move through the trials, it becomes increasingly clear that their previous lives were deeply tied together. But the question remains: what are they to each other?

Why I love it: the real allure to this story is the mystery. Who is Lenore? Who is Annabel Lee? What is the truth behind Nevermore Academy? The list of questions is never-ending. Also, Lenore is an incredibly charming protagonist, whose quick wit and determination makes it impossible to not cheer for her. The is also inspired heavily by Edgar Allen Poe's work and the gothic literary tradition (and aesthetic). In fact, Lenore's name, as well as Nevemore Academy's name, comes from the poem "The Raven," and Annabel Lee is named after the famous poem of the same name. Coincidentally, both this story and the poem "Annabel Lee" take place "in a kingdom by the sea." As a literature nerd, this is a HUGE plus for me. Especially recommend this story for those who like to try and figure out what's going on before the characters do (so, if you were in the red string brigade while The Magnus Archives was airing this is a must read)

5. Her Tales of Shim Chong (manhwa)

Premise: This manhwa is a historical, girls' love retelling of classic Korean novel The Tale of Shim Chong. It tells the story of Shim Chong, a beggar who is desperately trying to make ends meet to feed her and her blind father, and the soon-to-be second Madame Jang, who has been sold into marrying the Chancellor to give her family a better position. After a chance encounter, they build a friendship -- and eventually more -- that transcends class boundaries. But not everyone is happy with the Chancellor's new wife, and Chong's presence is far from welcome in the royal palace. When the Chancellor falls into a mysterious coma after the wedding night, his children make plans to oust Madam Jang, and it may be up to Shim Chong to save not only their relationship, but their lives.

Why I love it: I think the premise of this story is so so romantic; it drives me crazy. Madame Jang is essentially trapped by the narrative, and Shim Chong is the only one who is able and willing to break her out. The premise creates the perfect setting to critique not only the historical politics of Korea, but also the treatment of women within Korean culture (disclaimer: I am far from an expert here but I think the theme is very prevalent). It is also probably the only yuri I've read so far that would qualify as magical realism, which ties in to the folktale setting with ease. There is not a lot of physical affection in this story, but when it's there, it's so sweet I can't help but swoon. If you like historical fiction, I would recommend starting here out of everything on this list (or start with the next entry).

6. Goodbye, My Rose Garden (manga)

Premise: Hanako is a Japanese woman who has come to England in search of her favorite author. In the meantime, she looks for work as a maid and is eventually hired by a noblewoman named Alice. But, Alice has an unbelievable request for Hanako: she wants Hanako to kill her. Hanako immediately begins trying to find out why Alice wants to throw away her life, and as she does she finds a hidden side of the noblewoman kept deep under wraps...

Why I love it: this story is so romantic, and tense, and dramatic that it has become critically acclaimed - and for good reason. The depiction of historical views on homosexuality are really well done and is juxtaposed well next to Hanako's sapphic awakening. I really think that this yuri is a must read, not just because of the romance, but because of the historical perspectives portrayed within. I wish I could say more but it's been a while since I've read it, and I plan on rereading it and posting a review sometime within the first half of this year

7. Mage & Demon Queen (webtoon)

Premise: In a world where demons and humans are at constant war, Malori has survived childhood and become a powerful mage..... because she is totally in love with the Demon Queen, Velverosa. In fact, Malori would do anything to spend time with her, and she means anything. Day after day Malori climbs the Demon Queen's tower to try and win her heart, and day after day she is defeated. Will the Demon Queen ever love her? Or, will Velverosa be slain before their relationship has time to blossom?

Why I love it: ONE OF THE ROMANTIC LEADS IN THIS STORY IS A TRANS WOMAN (it's Vel lol). But also: this is by far the funniest yuri I have ever read. Whether is is on the cheesy side or the genuinely hilarious side, the humor in this story is baked all the way through, giving it an adorable charm. Additionally, Vel's slow decent into love is so fucking adorable that I often find myself going back to reread her confession; it's just so sweet. If you like a wholesome, light hearted story, or are a big fan of RPGs or isekais (it's not one but it's close enough), then you MUST give this a read. I'm afraid Webtoons.com is putting it behind a paywall soon (against it's creator's wishes), but you may be able to find it else where possibly.

8. Sunstone (American comic)

Premise: in this erotic romcom, Lisa is a writer and, more importantly, a submissive. Ally is a well-experienced programmer and considers herself a dominatrix. They have one thing in common: they have never done BDSM in real life. One day, they meet in a virtual chat room and become fast friends. This friendship evolves as they begin exchanging DMs, and eventually they decide to meet up. They hit it off just as well in person as they do online, and their one time sexual encounter becomes much more, changing their lives forever.

Why I love it: this comic features probably the most realistic depiction of a BDSM relationship - and BDSM sex - that I have ever seen. The characters are complicated, and messy, and so human that you can't helped but be sucked into their lives. It also features one of the most romantic confessions I have ever experience in yuri. Just top notch writing from top to bottom, while also treating the subject matter with dignity and care. The writer has a lot of experience with BDSM in real life, and it really shows with the way the series treats consent, safe words, and after care. If you've never read this story, you need to change that asap. You're really missing out.

9. Whisper me a love song (manga)

Premise: On her first day of high school, Himari watches a band play at the opening ceremony, where she immediately "falls in love" with the lead singer. The next day, she runs into that singer, Yori, and tells her so. Yori's response is unexpected: she says, "I love you, too." Quickly, and awkwardly, Himari realizes that her platonic feelings are being met with Yori's romantic feelings. As their friendship develops, she begins to wonder: what does it mean to love someone?

Why I love it: I really love music, especially rock and punk music, so a romance story based around a musician is automatically going to appeal to me and this one is no exception. Himari's struggle with her sexuality feels so real, and Yori's determination to win Himari's heart naturally compels her internal conflict forward until she has to decide. This manga is so so so cute, especially considering Himari's puppy dog like energy, and this story is almost guaranteed to make you swoon. It is ongoing and getting an anime this year, so please read it and support the official release!

10. Bloom into You (manga)

Premise: Bloom into You tells the story of high school freshman Yuu, as she discovers herself and tries to gain an understanding of "love," which all of her friends seem enamored with. She has never had someone who felt special to her in that way, though she desperately wants to. This all changes when she meets sophomore Nanami, who has also never fallen in love. As they get to know each other, Nanami begins to fall in love with Yuu, though Yuu does not understand why. At the same time, Yuu thinks her chest may be starting to flutter, a feeling that she has longed for but still does not understand...

Why I love it: so there was no way that this wasn't making the list, right? It is the standard for high school yuri, and for good reason. Yuu and Nanami are perfect for each other, and Yuu's slow decent into love is incredible to watch. If you have never read yuri and you want to know where to start, the answer is right here. It is, in fact, required reading. If I were to teach a semester long university class on yuri (a fantasy situation I think about alot), this would be the first story I would assign. The romantic tension is mesmerizing, the supporting cast is top tier, and the ending is immensely satisfying. There is also ace/aro representation, arguably in the main character and canonically in the supporting cast. I am currently doing a live blog/analysis of Bloom into You if you want to follow along with me, though I am very behind on it (I swear I'm gonna continue it, and I'm sorry to my followers :( the new year has not been kind to me lol).

I have done reviews and analysis of some of these series, and have borrowed summaries from those posts. I am linking those down below in case you haven't read them. However, if you read the Qualia the Purple review before reading the manga I will find you:

Her Tales of Shim Chong Review

Qualia the Purple Review

Bloom into You Ch. 1 Analysis

Bloom into You Ch. 2 Analysis

Edit: I just realized that you asked for girls lov books too, so I guess that is going to have to be a separate post....

[dballzposting]

HI i had a horrible dragon ball thought and thought i should send it to you because i haven't done that in a long time :(

love stumbling across screenshots that remind me that akira toriyama doesn't give a shit about canonical heights EVER and just says numbers when asked and doesn't follow said numbers.

Like i was taking a peep at the manga because i want to learn how to replicate the art style (my most serious art has already been damaged by the dragon balls i draw and i say it like... damaged. but i don't mean that i think thats a good thing because thats what i want) and i find these bits from the 23rd tenkaichi budokai where Yamcha (6'0") and Tien (6'2") are both like a head taller than Goku (5'9") which... no they aren't lol. but it's fun to think that they are so I'll incorporate that into my belief system regardless.

And i also found this one picture from the end of the anime (equally inaccurate about numbers which i find delightful. i am incredibly amused by this.) where Goten (??) is like also a head shorter than Trunks (5'7"? probably, that's how tall future him was at that age idk man who fucking knows. not me.) which would probably put Goten at like... Vegeta height in terms of dragon ball inaccuracies because 17 year old Future Trunks was depicted as being considerably taller than his father in canon.

And that's generally insane because as far as i'm aware Goten is usually depicted to be vaguely taller than Trunks when they grow up to what should be their full heights in fan works? which is fair because Trunks is REALLY doing his best with what he has (Vegeta dna)

Also about Trunk's height- future Trunks (malnourished by saiyan standards... and probably earthling standards too) is really only 5 cm shorter than Goku?? which is not even much actually, Future Trunks is about as tall as LIONEL MESSI which, sure I'm Argentinian and that's my like referent for short men sue me... but that's hilarious because Goku is only 5 cm taller than that like what. and adult Gohan is only 6 cm taller than that! because he's only a single fucking centimeter taller than Goku! why is he only a fucking centimeter taller than his father. who even cares about that. him? probably not.

Also to expand onto the Vegeta Height Goten thing, that'd be so funny personally because i feel like the second neurotic ass SON OF VEGETA Trunks notices this he would tear his own hair out, i think he would resent that fact with everything he had. i don't even quite know why he would hate it yet, but i do know that he wouldn't be a fan of it.

But of course none of this fucking matters. because akira toriyama is a bitchass motherfucker and if i had a wife he would piss on her.

-Yui7 after getting back from talking about Dragon ball and how much he misses Goku for like a half a day.

Hi I forgot about this ask and it has sat in my inbox for 9 slutty slutty days.

IT'S TRUE!!!!!! THE HEIGHTS ARE A MESS!!!!!!

To be fair it must be hard to give a shit when you're depicting multiple characters in complex scenes and poses and angles all of the time.

BUT THEN WHY TRY TO DISCLOSE NUMBERS AT ALL !??!?!??!

I get the impression that he just draws characters as they feel. Even though Goku went through a growth spurt before the 23rd tenkaichi budokai, he's still younger than the others and he's still always been an aspiring young shoot, so Tenshinhan and Yamucha still need to be taller (and therefore more mature) than him.

That's why Vegeta steadily got taller as he gained wisdom and muscle mass.... he had to look more important.

Goten is kept shorter than Trunks consistently, except in GT I feel like they're allowed to be on-par. But they're both definitely taller than Vegeta I mean come on.

If the real meaning comes from visual impressions then I'll be on record as saying that watching Future Trunks on-screen you definitely see one TALL STACK of fresh organic non-GMO free-range Super Saiyan BEEF. Perhaps he should be shorter like his father. But when have animes cared about genetics

Trunks is always a tall bitch and Goku is always so tall and Gohan is always so tall and Goten even is so tall. They're all so tall. And then they keep making Vegeta taller too.

Krillin just has no chance

[yoonyia]

😨 ok this is your open invite to talk about val!!

MY QUEEN

THE FORGOTTEN MIDDLE CHILD

how dare you all disrespect her majesty like this

you all should repent for your wrong doings

it pisses me off that a lot of people forget about val

and critique Val for never getting a life and following the tails of her brothers

but like do you not get the point of her character

she is the human representation of altruism and living for other people

like the reason her life revolves around other people is because that's who she is

she bends to no other will but her own

she not submitting herself to live someone else's life its a personal choice and her virtue to do so

THIS IS NOT HEADCANONS BY THE WAY IT IS LITTERALLY THE CANON AND I WANT PEOPLE TO SHUT THE FUCK UP AND STOP CALLING VAL A BADDLY WRITTEN CHARACTER

IM SORRY IF ITS PLAYING INTO A TROUPE OF WOMEN WHOS LIVES REVOLVE AROUND MEN BUT SHE HERSELF IS COMPLETELY INDEPENDANT AND LIVES BY HER OWN NEEDS AND WANTS, HER OWN NEEDS AND WANTS HAPPENS TO BE OTHER PEOPLE BUT SHES SACREFICING NOTHING

SHES ACTUALLY FORCING OTHERS INTO BEING BETTER PEOPLE EVEN THO THEY PERSONALLY HATE IT

I NEED YOU ALL TO UNDERSTAND

anyways enough about that

Val is a weeb

she had posters of anime characters when she was on earth

she would sneak in manga spoilers into demonsthes, especially if it was a manga peter was also reading

unlike Peter she hates k pop and ender sings it to her to piss her off

Val is like a sassy aunt towards ender and ender treats her like an older sibling that keeps barging into the room

very sibling dynamic with both her siblings, she dosent care about the fact they're world dominating leaders she sees them being idiots and calls them idiots and loves them dearly (ofcourse she loves ender a lot more as altruism dosent always comes with equality)

she gives people haircuts

she's super tall but enders taller (this does mean Peter is shortest of all the siblings and I find that fact hilarious)

she's really bad at cooking and made sure that if she ever got a husband he would do most of the cooking and cleaning

she values equal participation in projects but is more then ready to take on a leadership role

she's very flexible and unlike her brothers she is great at socializing

she reads constantly, ofcourse a lot of manga but also books in other languages that she manually translates using a dictionary

she really likes learning of different cultures and telling random facts about the world to others (and by others I mean ender, she talks to him a lot and vice versa)

she's emotionally intelligent but she dosent have the patience to say the things she knows is the right thing to say so she just ends up screaming the truth and letting it marinate as everyone around her is in tears asking her "I know what you're saying is correct but please stop screaming"

not ender tho, he just sits and listens and then agrees to it or add at it even if Val is getting real aggressive about it, he's calm and Val is impressed at his calmness

it's really hard to say stuff about Val without mentioned other people because her life so tightly revolved around helping them

I hope yall know that this isn't an inherently bad thing

she's atheist, and she's the only one in her family who is truely atheist. she personally dosent understand the concept of religion and thinks it's a bit silly

espicially when she gets to lustainia

she is a wine aunt but not a wine mom

she and her husband are both jokesters

Val is very funny

Val is like the comedian Taylor Tomlinson

she dosent like her mom always being a cheerleader but she herself is also quite the optimist

she's says things like "the world's gonna end tomorrow" and cheers everyone up

she hates corn, she will spit every kernel out one by one if the food has corn in it

this includes popcorn

never take her to the movies

she also has a really weird schedule

wakes up at 11am, does some stretches, goes eat lunch, does work, talk to ender for 3 hours, reads, exercises, eats dinner at around 2am, socializes with others till 5 then goes to bed at 6am

time zones fear her

she likes the cold, she loves snow

she likes having a fan on whenever she sleeps

her favorite food is pho (so is enders)

she wears the same thing every single day and she genuinely wears the same clothes as steve jobs

if you ever see me draw Val in anything other then a black turtleneck and jeans and I don't call it out that ain't me that's a skinwalker and I want you to kill it

her and her husband's relationship is actually really sweet

they compliment eachother like how you need salt in baking

also she just in general also brings out the best in people

she's just real nice if you ignore her impatience and lack of understanding

she dosent have a lot of empathy but she knows what will help you

she is warm and soft and comforting if you sit with her long enough to get used to the cold temperature of the room she's in

she's a born teacher, great at figuring out what her students need

she's also vegan, and forced ender to go vegan too

or it was the reverse

I cant make up my mind

this one's long cause I really like Val and I don't ever get enough Val content

if I were to rank my love for the wiggin siblings it would go ender most Val second peter last (like their parents actually JDKDKD) AND IM SO SORRY PETER FANS I JUST LOVE MY SARCASTIC PROFESSORS THAT ARE COMEDIC

also yes I belive that both Val and ender are both comedic and funny

I refuse to believe that ender is constantly depressed and is :| all the time

both of these kids are doing the Anya face half the time or laughing at a joke no one gets

Val tries to influence ender a lot and get him out of his low self esteem and self hatred

I mean she influences him a lot but sadly never got to fixing that issue

anyways yea that's my Val for yall

give more respect to this women she built her life in a way were she would be the happiest

GOD FORBID SOMEONE WANTS TO BE HAPPY AND HEALTHY IN THIS UNIVERSE

[chidoroki]

182 Days of TPN - Day 176

Chapter 176: "We're Home!"

The long awaited hug! It's so heartwarming it almost makes you forget about Emma tossing her weapon aside, which later becomes an unfortunate consequence, but we'll worry about that later and do our best to focus on these precious kid's happy faces.

I'm pretty glad their reunion is one of the only things to get animated from this chapter.

Of course one of the downsides to the anime not including everything is us missing out on Phil's reaction to seeing everyone else. The rest of the kids just sorta show up all in one place in the second season but the manga makes the many reunions feel more personal, especially with him learning that Norman was never killed.

Phil reflects on how hard the past couple years have been for him while keeping the farm's secret and feeling isolated from the other children due to knowing it and if there's anyone who can understand his pain, it's Ray, as he suffered the same cruel experience so the fact the two of them can share this hug (and head pat) is so sweet, it can bring me to tears. These boys deserved so much better! No more sadness allowed for either of them til the end of time!

I'm very happy Sherry get her own moment with Norman too. Their friendship is so adorable. She's undoubtedly his biggest fan.

Look how relieved and happy Isabella is to finally be done with all the lying and fighting. That smile of hers is so pretty, she wants nothing more than to care for her children like a real mother should and damn it y'all, I wish she could've got that chance alongside all the other moms and sisters!

This quote (that continues into the panels after this page) is probably my favorite from Emma. I know I've said it a lot, about how amazing Emma is to be so optimistic while being surrounded by this world's many various threats that constantly want her dead, but finally being able to see her achieve all her goals while staying true to herself is something I'll always be proud of her for. No matter all the difficulties she faced, whether it was losing someone dear to her, sustaining serious injuries or making life changing decisions, she kept on fighting to secure a better future for her family. Of course she had some moments of weakness to process everything going on around her and to keep her emotions in check, but not once did she ever quit pursuing that bright dream of hers.

The children have all fought through so much together and had their own personal struggles, so seeing them all smile and break out into tears is definitely one of the best moments of the series. They all deserve this victory and a moment to be excited about their freedom.

Sigh, rest in peace to all those we lost along the way! I may not remember all their names aside from Yuugo, Lucas, Conny, Olivia & Michelle, but having Emma think of everyone again proves just how important they all were to to, even if we, as readers, didn't get to see them often enough throughout the story.

Yeah, that brief moment the kiddos had to relax? All gone, thanks to this bastard! If anyone desired to know which character I hate most, it's this damn demon. I don't wanna talk about it but the reason is literally unavoidable in this chapter and to this day I'm still crushed that it happens.

Glad you finally realized your own mistake, honey, but ya gotta be quicker than that! These poor children though, living just a normal life at the orphanage one moment and then running scared for their lives because of this demon the next.

I'm so damn proud that Ray managed to stay alert despite all the reunions and how his protective nature gets kicked into high gear to try and stop that bastard from harming Emma and the girl she's rushing to save.

The look on Ray's face (& everyone else's) makes me wanna scream. I don't wanna imagine this scene getting animated (& I'm so incredibly thankful it wasn't) but I can just hear the couple of shots Ray fired off, the complete silence that follows as the kids stand by completely speechless due to the sight in front of them as an occasional drop of blood drips off the demon's claw as Emma slowly looks up and... aahhh fuck.

The way I fell in love with this woman just a handful of chapters ago to now be on the verge of losing her, just.. FUCK! I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I will always hate it. I will always hate this demon. I will always hate how this chapter was released on Mother's Day. The timing could not have been any worse and I'll never not be completely devastated by this moment!

Favorite panel/moment:

I desperately need some happiness right now and this panel is the perfect way to achieve it. Writing out the next chapter is absolutely gonna put me through emotional hell. again.

[animechick2015]

Anime I Watched in 2023, Part 1:

1. God Troubles Me 5/5

This is technically called a donghua but we’ll consider this an anime for this list. This show is the Chinese version of Gintama and I am for it. It so hilariously charming that I got addicted quickly. There wasn’t a single character that I disliked. In fact, there wasn’t a single episode that made me bored. The animation style was godly that it definitely gave a lot of Japanese anime a run for their money. Please, please, please give this one a chance.

2. Mob Psycho 100 100/10

Epic. Brilliant. Heart warming. Those are not enough to describe how much I loved this anime but it’ll have to do. Seriously, this one blew me away. I thought it was just a quirky anime about a middle schooler going psycho whenever he’s pissed but I’m so glad I was wrong. The second season caught me by surprise; it’s definitely my favorite of the three. Mob’s character development happened so effortlessly that I actually had to take a moment to let it all seep in on how much he changed. Also Reigen is the best Master in the anime universe, hands down. His confession to Mob at the end brought tears to my eyes, he truly cared for Mob.

3. Charlotte 4/5

Absolutely loved this one. The reason that this didn't get 5 stars was because the ending felt a bit rushed. Also, I didn't like Kumagami dying. He was such a vital character that I felt like we should've explored more. If I was the MC I would've definitely travelled back in time just to save him. Overall, I highly recommend this anime.

4. Barakamon 5/5

After watching a depressing anime like Charlotte, you definitely need something lighthearted to watch and this was really got me out of my funk. I wasn't expecting this to be so funny, honestly. This was such a warm, funny, slice of life that made me crave living in the countryside.

5. Blue Lock 5/5

Ok I have to admit I didn't start off liking this one. Isagi's whining was grating on my nerves. Thankfully, I have learnt the error of my ways and have now come to realize that Isagi is HIM! Holy crap the development of this boy was crazzzzyy. There are so many interesting characters in this show that I was confused who was the real main character. Also, it was so refreshing to have an anime without the power of friendship; it was every man for themselves and I was absolutely there for it.

6. Play It Cool Guys 5/5

Ahhhh this was such a cute wholesome anime! If you're stressed out with life please just watch these adorkable group of young men try to navigate their lives. It was so nice to see the uncool side of guys for once. The episodes were short and sweet and I really hope we get another season of them.

7. Tomo-chan is a Girl! 5/5

This was such a funny and sweet show. I'm always a sucker for friends to lovers romance so this was right up my alley. This anime also had so many charming side characters that I couldn't but fall in love with them also.

8. Ice Guy and his Cool Work Colleague 5/5

I felt so single watching this. How do I sign up to work at their company? I swear everyone was finding love and being all happy while all I get in my workplace is stress and more stress. It was also so refreshing to have a romance anime with adults and not high schoolers.

9. Demon Slayer Season 3 5/5

Another great season to another great anime. Can I just add that I loved the OP from episode one while everyone was hating on it; it was such a banger! The animation was once again top tier that I can't wait to see what the studio does when animating the last arc. This was a tough season to compete with the flashy brilliance of Tengen's last season but they did wonderfully. I'm glad I got to see my baby girl Mitsuri finally animated.

10. My Love For Yamada -kun is Lv 999 5/5

I watched the first episode right after it aired and I knew I couldn't hold out for another week. I devoured the manga! It was that good. The anime definitely didn't disappoint. This was such a sweet, comforting anime that put my cynical heart at ease. I really hope that we get more seasons because my boy Yamada is the standard!

[eshtaresht]

GUYS GUYS I CAN'T KSODKLSOSL!!!1!!1LKDKJ;;S !!!l1JK!::kKD;P SOSKSLSPSODS A;SDOKDLAD I CAN'T EVEN FORM WORDS

spoilers for ep 12 (and a bit for trigun in general) and my overexited ramblings under the cut

you know an episode will be good when where's no opening

so, the twins are meant to be characterized straightforward in every anime adaptation, ig. it's not bad, but the manga twists their personalities 180° and it adds SO MUCH nuance (I'll talk about this at length some day)

tbh I had to pause for laughter when knives was YEETED outta the gate (I have sense of humor of a five year old)

everybody already said everything, but still. OG HAIR COMEBACK OMG AHRAHAAKFJDlahjddjha!!!!!!!! ;!!! ;! and not only hair, but the whole characterization this episode was much closer to trimax vash, and not just sadboy depressive bbg

MERYL/REM PARALLELS LETS GOOOO!!! like, I guessed this would happen, but the visuals, the tension and pure GRATITUDE in vash's voice when he was able to break free from his mental prison... we're eating good

speaking of eating, I CAN'T get over that moment when vash deadass BIT KNIVES. that's peak sibling behavior, he's literally fighting tooth and nail over there

also mashwood is so real tonight!! love love love meryl&nico interactions in stampede, they barely spoke to each other in other versions! and the look of relief on vash's face when he sees nico skedaddling away with meryl!!! he's so glad that they're gonna be okay and that nico made the right choice and came back to help, if briefly. interstingly, he was able to remember everyone, but after the explosion at the end he still lost his memory.

and THE WINGS, DUDE!!!! it gives the finale of trimax, when they both had only one wing left..... still missing feathers, but I love the diversity with knives's, eh... knives, and vash's energy/void or whatever that is, I support it

he's so pathetic even when he looks cool, homeboy had NO control when he used his wing for the first time... cudos for learning new powers on the spot tho

ow ow ow that scene with the military hurt... and he couldn't even save them!

"why are you like that, vash?" "I'm vash the stampede" "IT'S BEEN OVER A CENTURY AND THIS IS THE BEST YOU COULD CAME UP WITH" same here, knives, he's hopeless. I anticipated that moment, but it probably hits even hard for stampede onlys

angel arm!!! tho it's not that angelic now... how are we gonna call it? I take suggestions. rip arm and coat, I feel like we'll actually get a more trimax leaning design next season!

to all the ppl (myself included) who wanted to see vash cry properly... are you happy? ARE YOU FUCKING HAPPY??? after the last episode, after all the mental torture knives put him through, vash still doesn't want to hurt him and, just like knives, can't handle the distance between them.......... I am inconsolable. and as much as knives wanted to break vash, it hurts him so much to see those tears irl....... but he just can't stop, because they're both SO FUCKING STUBBORN and it already took to much to get there and he just can't. stop. now.

"nai is dead, you killed him" first of all, *sounds of screaming crying throwing up*. second of all, his name is million knives, vash, stop deadnaming your brother/j

the death scene itself.... oh it's soo good and yummy. I know this mf isn't fully dead and conrad will fix him, but still. he can have a second death of self as a treat

btw, gotta adress my earlier theory about "happy birthday" being metaphorical. no, it is in fact July 21st, and tristamp lasted about two months in universe. still pretty hard for me to believe, it felt five times shorter due to the pacing. but it is what it is: I'm esht and I was wrong, I'm singing the esht wrong song

and just as I thought this would be the end of it, WE GOT A FLASH FORWARD THAT HAD BASICALLY EVERYTHING WE WERE HOPING FOR AND MORE

RAISED BOUNTY! MERYL GIRLBOSSIFICATION!! a hint at insurance society (tho that was more of a threat and she's still a journalist). MILLY CONFIRMATION!!! ERIKS' LACK OF ARM AND AMNESIA!!!! EARTH FLEET AND CHRONICA!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!

IT'S GONNA BE GOOD SEASON 2 IS GONNA BE EVEN BETTER I CAN FEEL IT IN MY BONE MARROW