#and there’s nothing wrong with that! but i’m tired of seeing ppl act like Their fandom is this beautiful safe space with no issues

[roseworth]

best part about comic tumblr is that it is the only fandom i’ve been a part of where no one says “i just love the fandom so much we’ve created such a safe space here 🥺” like i have never seen even one post about how much someone loves the dc fandom. this is not a happy family this is a cold war and im just glad we all know that

[abbysdruidess]

𝙞𝙩 𝙨𝙡𝙞𝙥𝙥𝙚𝙙 𝙩𝙝𝙧𝙤𝙪𝙜𝙝 𝙢𝙮 𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙙𝙨 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙖 𝙨𝙝𝙖𝙙𝙤𝙬, 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙖 𝙙𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙢 - 𝘼𝙗𝙗𝙮 𝘼𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙧𝙨𝙤𝙣 𝙨𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙢𝙖𝙩𝙚 𝙖𝙪

wc: 2.1k

summary: You and Abby meet by chance in the WLF stadium, quickly becoming enamoured with each other. Little do you know, you had met a long time ago in similar circumstances.

tags: angst, slight fluff, suggestive themes, Abby is a soldier in this one, mentions of major character deaths, one use of y/n, previous life soulmates, badly proofread

a/n: as promised, this was the most asked fic from the voting pole - by the way, 250 is INSANE. It's incredible to see so many ppl engage engage with my work.

The title is a line from the Odyssey, bc these classes have to pay for themselves at some point. I listened to Rachel's Song from Blade Runner for about 100 times while writing it, and I suggest listening to it yourself to be fully immersed in the experience<33

Stay tuned bc the cuddling headcanons will drop a day after this one! And lmk if you'd like to see a pt 2 of this universe<3

one

 The moonlight caressed your lover’s face gently, casting a serene glow over her as she laid next to you. You wondered whether she could feel your gaze on her, as her eyes were closed, appearing as though she was sleeping. You knew her better than that though, knew that whenever she slept, the banes of reality took over and she had a hard time enjoying her slumber. She rarely looked this peaceful.

 Suddenly, her eyes shot open and shot a playful, wicked look at you before grabbing you by the hips and flipping you, now laying on your back as she straddled you. You giggled as you felt her long, silky wisps of blonde hair tickling your neck. 

“Heeeyy” You groaned at her antics. You felt tired, unreasonably so, and perhaps another night you would’ve said nothing but curl next to her and fall asleep in her arms. Tonight though, you felt different, a deep seated instinct telling you to sit with her, cherish her, for you always had time for her but never enough.

“S’ wrong, babe? You looked pretty interested there, see something you like?” Her hands reached up and pinned your arms above the bed, her face mere inches away from yours. It would be pretty easy to reach up and steal a kiss from her pink, plump lips. 

“Of course, dear. I always do.” She lets go of your hands and helps you up, so you’re both sitting on the bed, bathed in the moonlight with the soft breeze that blows in through the window traversing through your hair. You wrap your arms around her waist and lean into her, basking in her pine scent and leaving soft, butterfly kisses on her neck. You feel her guttural sound of pleasure through her skin as she wraps her arms around your tighter.

“What’s on your mind, babe? Been acting weird all day.” She rubbed her hand down your back, as if encouraging you to go on, lay your frustration on her so she could console you with sweet words, then lie back down again and make you forget all about it. 

You visibly tensed up, feeling your hands curling into fists and your breath hitch. “You know what I’m talking about. We’ve talked about this before, dear.”

“Babe I’ve-”

“What you do isn’t safe.” You pull back to look her in the eyes, and her expression reveals it all; grief, regret, yearning. A frown had curled on her face at the mention of the job she had chosen back when she was younger and careless. “I-I know we’ve talked about this so much. But I’m scared of losing you more than I am of anything else. I’m not asking you to stay at home all the time, but I’d be happier knowing that you’re out of harm's way.”

Her career field was known for its heavy casualties-working for the military was no walk in the park, that’s for sure. Part of you wanted her to always be with you, remain in this room forever watching the sunrise and sunset, the season changing. You wouldn't yearn for anything else; just you and Her, intertwined so intimately with one another that your soul merged with hers into one. 

However, you knew that she also sought out the danger herself; she was an adrenaline junkie, and years of combat training had turned her into a genuine war machine, one that was highly requested on the battlefield. She couldn’t help it, to put it simply. To you however, she was the most loving, endearing wife you could ask for. You’d wait for millenia if you knew she’d come home to you, safe and unharmed, longing to cook her dinner and curl up on the couch together.

 Back in the present, you heard her sigh. The knot on your neck became more prominent, and you tried to mentally shoo it away. You’d hate yourself for crying. As she felt your distress, she reached to tuck you back into the space between her neck and her shoulder. 

“I know you’re scared for me, baby. I want you to know that I’ll never forgive myself for making you worry so much for me-you don’t deserve that. Please-please know I’ll always be alright.” She began to stroke your hair, trying to ease you out of your anxious state. She shifted with you in her arms, and you looked up at her in a deep state of thought, as if gathering the proper words for a confession. Finally, she gazed at you with a pained expression, cursing herself for bringing you in such obvious melancholy.

“I have something to tell you.”She uttered, inspecting your face for any sign of tears. Instead she found you looking composed, accepting even. Like whatever it was she was about to tell you, you had come to terms with it. Because you weren’t mad at her-heaven knows you never have been. Perhaps sullen at the cruel humor of fate and the games it had entangled you in.

“You’ve been deployed” You whisper softly, revealing her imminent departure like a well kept secret. She gasps, unsure of what to say. Her azure eyes start to swim in tears, confirming your words more than anything she could say. It wasn’t all that unfamiliar to you. Sooner all later, she would pack her things and travel to some vile hellhole, passing out orders and writing you letters that would be delivered within a month’s notice. And you’d always read them carefully, savoring any segment that was so very her like the finest of wines. You’d remind yourself to be patient, and that good things come to those who wait. 

“How did you find out?” She stumbles, seeking a way to comfort you, to let you know that everything’s gonna be alright even if it’s not.

“The-the letter that came in the mail yesterday. You left it on the coffee table and I-” You can’t bring yourself to go on. What’s done is done anyway. 

“Baby” She cups both your cheeks in her hands, trying to decipher your expression. “Are you angry at me?” You gesture no with your head, your eyes cast downwards in her chest, where a locket rested in between her breasts. 

“M’ not mad. Just, you know, I’ll miss ya.” You reach up to toy with the pendant, rubbing small shapes with your fingers on its cold, metallic surface. She flicks it open and a picture of your wedding day greets you, smiling fondly at the memory. 

“Hey” She starts, “I’ll be back before you know it.” She lies down on the bed, taking you with her, as you lay your face on her pillow, so close your noses bump in a small eskimo kiss. “Don’t I always come back to you?”

You inch closer to her, dipping your hand under her shirt to feel the rhythmic sound of her heartbeat. Right now, as she lied close to you, she had never felt more alive, more vibrant. No matter the circumstances, she always came back to you, one way or another.

“Yeah” You whisper, as you are lulled into a dreamless sleep. “Yeah, you do.”

two

The two aforementioned lovers never met again. For the rest of their lives, they remained in a constant state of yearning for one another, always looking out for the day they would rejoice and celebrate in each other’s arms. It seems however, that that day never came, and their souls couldn’t reconcile. Time after time, the story of the two lovers became partially forgotten, although as tragic as it was, it was no better than the condition of the rest of the world. And seemingly, one could even consider them lucky, for they never had to witness the Cordyceps pandemic of ‘13 and its hellish aftermath. All things considered, surviving in that kind of world would be easy, were they with each other. 

It was in this world that you and Abby met each other, having somehow persevered through all its trials and tribulations; you met her a year or so after she lost her father, and you had just joined the WLF. Somehow, your presence provided much needed comfort to the lone Wolf, and she made sure to look after you in return. The relationship was nothing short of a match made in heaven, as you and Abby understood each other perfectly, more than words could ever yearn to accurately express. 

Sooner or later, you fell into a routine; you would wake up alongside each other, usually laid bare due to last night’s amorous activities, and you’d make her coffee to earn her a few more precious moments of sleep. Once she was out and about, she’d tell you about her daily schedule, and take some time to complain about the endless workload Isaac had encompassed her in. You’d listen solemnly, telling her to stay safe during work and be mindful of her surroundings-you could never bring yourself to utter the famous WLF moto, especially not to her. It felt… strangely macabre.

 At nights, Abby would return, and you would take care of any fresh injuries, or changing the bandages in old ones, always leaving small kisses on them once healed because it elicited quiet giggles out of her. If she wasn’t too exhausted, you’d then make love, slow and passionate and relishing the moment of it all.

 You’d be forever grateful for finding Abby, as she filled you with so much endearment at the smallest gestures, like when she slow danced in the kitchen in the middle of the night with you or when she brought back an antique pendant found in one of her patrols. You kissed her thank you’s for the gift, and turned around so she could put it on you.

 “Lemme see” She muttered as you turned around, and she caught the sight of it between your breasts. “Hmm” She buried her face in the side of your neck. “Looks lovely on you, baby”.

 A couple of years into your relationship, you attended a celebration for the yearly harvest that had turned out exceptionally plentiful. You sat in one of the stadium seats, listening to Jordan and Manny recount a hilarious incident from patrol. You listened to their drunken jabbers, more amused in their hysterical antics than anything. 

Abby watched you from afar, pleased that you seemed content, sipping on some recently fermented beer someone in the stadium had made. It was pretty unpleasant and bitter, but it managed to get her buzzed. 

She suddenly sensed movement on her left and turned around abruptly, coming face to face with Owen. He gave her a noncommittal, friendly smile, holding a glass of something dark and sparkling himself. She smiled back nonchalantly, uninterested in striking a conversation with him. Although there was a part of her that loved him with a sense of brotherly affection, she was still hurt from the way he dealt with her while they were together, always treating her like some afterthought, the butt of a joke she wasn’t privy to. Still, it’s like they were friends.

 “Nice night tonight. Never seen so many people drinking together.” He commented and followed her gaze as she agreed absentmindedly-then followed her gaze back to you. Owen felt slightly resentful of the way she gazed at you, grinning at you enamored, spellbound. 

“You and y/n seem to be getting along well.” He muttered, reaching for a sip of his drink. “Never thought I’d see the day Abigail Anderson would end up whipped.” He joked, gauging for her reaction. Abby felt her face warm up at his words. She never hesitated to admit just how much she loved you, but she had never wondered what others thought of your relationship. 

“Yeah, I-I’m just, you know. It feels strange to me, too. Being so close to a person.” She stared straight ahead, watching as you laughed along with Manny at Jordan’s beer soaked face. She had no idea why she was confessing this to Owen, but he was one of the few people that knew her so well. “It just…comes very instinctively. I never thought I’d have something like that in me.” She gulped the last remnants of her drink from her cup. After her dad’s death, all Abby was filled with was pain and destruction. Your mere presence had been the antidote for her suffering. She’d never felt better.

“I guess we’ll never know where it comes from.” He shrugged casually, trying not to visibly react at her words. 

“Yeah” She muttered. “I guess.”

[honeyloopsenthusiast]

thinking abt how not a lot of ppl talk abt (or maybe they do and it’s me!! im the issue here i haven’t met them so if ur seeing this hmu!!) how tiring and downright cruel being in love can be for a person. maybe cruel is a strong word but it can be so very disturbing having to think abt a person all the time and I am by no means trying to say that being in love with someone is a- full time commitment and a job and it requires you to put in the hours and shi- but js the feeling part of it.

I canNOT be the only one thinking it’s not all that perfect and that when we go high we go high but when we go low we go so fucking low that im abt two millimetres from touching the ground after falling from a 80feet roller coaster drop.

And by lows i don’t mean the ups and downs however subjective this may be from person to person- i mean LOW like there’s nothing the other persons doing to make you feel this way but it’s js the act of being left in ur own company and being so sickeningly preoccupied w thoughts of them that it’s physically making you sick.

Not disgustingly sick just- sick. Like this is affecting me both mentally and physically. I’m not irked out by them im not disgusted but im just on edge??

I feel nauseous and distracted and disturbed bcs I cant stop thinking abt them and it’s leaving me restless and incapacitated to carry on w my day?? and suddenly I don’t feel like eating anymore im subconsciously skipping meals and consistently depending on what they have to say which is robbing me off my will to js be by myself??

Again they’ve done NOTHING wrong to cause this. I have never not felt deeply abt a situation. love doesn’t sound overwhelming to me love sounds dangerous. it’s taking “butterflies in my stomach” to another level and idk how I feel abt that

Being sexually fluid and shifting from being cupioromantic to being in a relationship with someone can be so frightening bcs now im supposed to do everything I’ve never done before

I have genuinely (in the least self pity way possible) been so devoid of romantic intimacy that I’ve never found myself in the position to experience it. And it’s not the inexperience that’s driving me mad it’s the fact that I’ve subconsciously rejected affection and the idea of being the object of attraction so much that it’s physically uncomfortable to be unknowingly doing things that I’d never do before.

I love them and I still want to be with them. They’re not the problem here but the aftermath of being in love is just not spoken about enough and MAYBE IM GOJNG NOWHERE W THIS

[8k26]

☠︎ ┈•.*⛧ please don’t spam me to get my attention, my activity with replies fluctuates but i’m pretty active with occ. getting spammed just turns me off. either way i can get busy or simply take breaks. i’m usually good at giving updates, i appreciate if you could do the same, but life gets in the way. i’m mentally ill and tired lmao

☠︎ ┈•.*⛧ im half black half salvadorian. 95% of my oc’s are poc and i use their culture in their backstories and personality. i try to be as accurate as possible to ones i’m not familiar with–feel free to correct if i get something wrong, i love learning about cultures!! most of them are in gang/crime related stories, some are demons, i don’t mind putting them in au’s where they’re something completely different, however their personality will stay the same. obviously if you’re racist or don’t like playing poc characters then leave. same goes with any type of bigotry and phobie or ism against people

☠︎ ┈•.*⛧ i only rp on discord, i like playing in servers since they’re the most organized. i only use tumblr to find partners and plot. i don’t do one liners. my bare minimum requirement is 2-3 paragraphs with some good substance. quality over quantity. i don’t mind time skipping to get right to the good parts, it’s a drag pushing through the slow parts of the plot

☠︎ ┈•.*⛧ smut is required for me. i’m a pwp girlie and idc💕 same thing with angst and drama. (doesn’t mean i’m not willing to have some more plot focused rps if you’re not looking for smut heavy ones) i’ll pick a toxic relationship over a happy carefree one every time. give me the most deprived shit–or a relationship with some turmoil that’ll take some time to fix. i even do dead dove themes; all except under 16 and animal abuse. i still have limits when it comes to kinks: no feet, bathroom stuff, any type of baby play, pregnancy/mpreg, omegaverse, forced fem, spitting, and vomit. i go off the kinks my characters have anyways. ofc i still do expect a good story going on with in depth characters, world building, and side characters. i still appreciate moments of fluff. i love yapping about our characters and sending memes and music. trust me i can get very hyperfixated on a ship and will not shut up about ideas i’ve thought about or little moments between them

☠︎ ┈•.*⛧ most of my muses are male, no i will not be your sole male provider to your female muses. i don’t mind playing as your wanted fc’s but don’t demand it, and dont get mad if i don’t wanna play as any of them. i wouldn’t do that to you. i’m not too picky against other’s characters so long as they don’t act like clueless bratty subs. for majorities sake i’ll be using irl fc’s but don’t be afraid to come at me with art of your own or by some other source. i’m an artist myself though i rarely even finish sketches now. keep in mind i like to play as and against hypermasc muses, while i’m more flexible with females. sorry if i sounds really picky, i just know what i like and tryna find ppl who are the same lol

☠︎ ┈•.*⛧ lastly, i may sound serious, i promise i’m not. once you get to know me you’ll see all i do is make jokes and nothing i say is really serious. i love brain dead memes and i’m really stupid. i try not to make things seem like a business transaction. if you don’t wanna be super close with occ then that’s fine too! the main goal is to just have fun with the rp.

[labyrynth]

ok probably hot take but i’m gonna say it anyway : zu//kka is dumb, ppl that shout about how “zu//kka is better than zu//tara!!” are obnoxious as hell, and the sudden newfound popularity of zu//kka as a ship has more to do with a superficial* desire for queerness (and resistance against het i.e. “non-queer”** ships) than it does with any actual perceived canonical chemistry or compatibility***

*i call it a superficial because it is not a general desire for queer characters, but rather a desire for slash ships (specifically m/m slash). there is nothing fundamentally wrong with this.

** “queer” and “het” are not mutually exclusive. trans people exist, bi people exist, and aro/ace people exist, yet there is a tendency to ignore queerness outside of same-sex relationships, instead implying that they are “not queer (enough)”, and/or that slash ships are better because they are “actually queer” or “more queer”.

***the desire for slash ships in spite of canon also existed in early days of atla fandom (see: jet/zuko). if there was any notable chemistry/compatibility between sokka and zuko, it would not have taken more than ten years after the show ended for fans to pick up on it.

have fun, ship whatever you want, i’m just getting really tired of seeing ppl acting as if this galaxy brained revelation, the writers were cowards for not making it happen, obviously the superior ship, blah blah blah and not just like. yaoi brain.

[kayyqua]

Okay first of I wanna say I hate the theme for this diary. It’s ugly and it does not encompass everything I feel. (Mostly just want it angry instead of hurt— gross!)

Second) tell me why this lady is attacking me ? I be sitting she throws shit at me ? Like I’m sorry you decided to give birth to a kid and he’s way past your energy now but I’ve been consistently helping you all your life and you wanna sit here and bitch at me and throw my passport at me and yell at me and stomps everywhere all angrily like a weirdo

Not to mention everyone’s ignoring me now which is an interesting development— I’ve noticed this a lot of times!!! Actually!!! Anytime she’s angry they all get hush hush at me (forget the young one— she’s an ugly cunt and a bitch and if I could choke her out I would at this point!! With enthusiasm too actually——— yeah yeah yeah call me petty do it! Do it! I am! I am! Bitch! Bitch! Fuck off!

Why the fuck is the second bitch ignoring me and what the fuck have I done to that ugly bitch? Negative and ugly bitches! That’s this family :)

Anyways. As I was saying. So I fell asleep? Well,,,, not really lol but it seems I made the right choice but since (actually since we landed in the fkn country they’ve been attacking me as always— her and her demon spawn— we believe in god my ass. Why act like that if you believe yourself a Muslim ? Bc islam is a hateful religion according to these ppl 🙄 this has been an ongoing thing since she was laughing ab us being useless and nothing to her and I got pissed bc why the fuck is actually wrong with you as a human being that lives and breathes. Like… actually. Bro. What the fuck is wrong with you? I said why do I gotta do anything for you considering this is how you talk about me— always making jokes about killing me and slaughtering me. Like a lil bitch. No. I will fucking say it. Fuck her. And fuck her spawn. We’ll see if I ever actually ever again speak to them. I am so serious right now.

I ain’t even going back to sweden. I’m getting gran there then I’m coming back to England. Luckily we have this house here so. That’s always nice. Honestly. She can pull the house too I don’t mind. I don’t mind being homeless. I bet I could still get a good life. She’s soft tho so she won’t do that to me. I mean she’ll do worse shit to me— the single most loyal person to her that has fought with everyone for her sake and left everything in their life that were ready to sacrifice everything for her but she sits there now. lol. Because I don’t take verbal abuse she’s angry. Boohoo.

She’s like nobody helps me then ofc she takes it out on me. What else is new. I’ve always been getting shit treated because I’m willing to stand with shitty behaviour and still do good for the people that mistreat me but the only issue they have is I don’t sit quiet. I say shit back. I talk up for myself. Now if only I kept my fkn mouth shut. lol. They wish.

Anyways. I got fired. Which is fine. Now they’re bothering the other kids to do baby things for her and she’s fed up and tired. Like??? What did she think would happen?? I’m literally the only reason you had a life. Because I actually gave my life up (partly because of my agoraphobia and mostly because I thought she suffered enough— still do!) I ain’t no angel or saint. I’ve always been too argumentative and annoying and in your face and my word choice has always been especially harsh. Like. Nothing new. Whatever.

I, however, unlike these people and their shit personalities have always tried to better myself and bite my tongue more and more and more and more and more. I could have done far worse damage.

They have tag teamed me. They have assaulted me. My one mistake is always fighting back. My one ☝️ issue is always fighting for myself. Because I have me and me and me and me and I’ve always been alone no matter how much good I’ve done and how well I’ve behaved but people have only ever seen what they wanna see and they are hellbent on hating me and seeing me as a demon they need to exterminate the personality and human off while keeping the shell that serves them and honors them. They’re lucky I decided a long time ago to honor family and what means to me. The blood version of it even when they have never honored me. I don’t regret my choices or my actions. I think I could have done more. I could have been worse. I never let my pettiness get in the way (expect for the arguing back——— that’s one pleasure I have never denied myself but I could have been harsher— less refined with my word choice. I have let them keep their delusional and nonexistent ideals of themselves. Never spoke up on it.

Anyways. I’m working on my essay again. That’s something. My back hurts and I need to get back to the gym and I’ve decided to surgical remove my eyelids. They’re too big!!!!!!! I can’t do any makeup!!! I’m wondering if I should remove my cheekbones or just let it be. Idk. I also really wanna do a hysterectomy……. Scared to hell and back tho. I hate surgery.

Gonna get all the piercings I’ve always wanted. I don’t care for these people and upkeeping their image any longer. That’s it from me 🫡.

[tealchameleon]

It seems the issue rn is that people think that unless the candidate is 110% perfect in every way than it is morally wrong to vote for them/endorse them. Not at all considering the nuance and factors that are going into this election (the electoral college, our stupid two party system, the threat of project 2025, etc). Believe me Biden is not my favorite and I’d give anything to see a third party/socialist president but the way our two party shit works, it is just NOT possible during this election cycle. We need to stop clinging to that fucking fantasy and work with what we have while we can before it’s too late. Anything besides that is laziness disguised as activism and moral outrage.

And abstaining from voting altogether bc you wanna throw a fit about the options not being good enough for you; you are the WORST kind of person there is. You say you care so deeply about these issues that unless someone ticks off every little box of yours, you’re not going to involve yourself at all?? How on earth does that make ANY sense?? If you give a fuck about anything at all you would vote for the candidate that is most likely to win and also not start the Dark Ages 2 like trump will. And I don’t care what the fuck y’all say, any vote not for Biden (or not casted at all) is a vote FOR TRUMP. Republicans know this and believe me they fucking show up to the polls. The two party system does not give a fuck about your moral outrage, and while you stand back and fuss over Biden not being perfect, you are deliberately allowing trump to take the presidency. So not only are you not helping at all but you are also actively hurting the ppl you claim to stand for. It truly baffles me as to how so many of y’all think this is a legitimate act of political protest and not just… throwing a pointless and silent temper tantrum that will ultimately lead to many many people dying under Trump? HOW is that in any way better than voting for a man who may not be perfect but is still doing a lot for us???

BUT if we continue to push Biden left as we have been, we can show future candidates that America is ready for more leftist leaders. If you want to see leftist candidates in office then THAT is how you get them. Not by pitching a fit about it in the middle of the goddamn election or refusing to participate altogether. Just because you don’t like him as he is now doesn’t mean he can’t be pushed further left with more pressure from his constituents, another factor I think a lot of people are ignoring.

The solution is not going to perfect. Biden is not perfect. But millions of lives are at stake here and one man is obviously much better than the other, anyone saying they are on the same level is full of shit. Not perfect is better than nothing at all and descending into project 2025. But if you are the type of person that will not accept a solution unless it is entirely perfect for you, then you cannot pretend you actually give a shit about anyone these policies will affect bc we all know you really don’t, you’re more concerned about standing on your soapbox and telling everyone how enlightened you are by not voting for Biden. Meanwhile the support you could’ve given to Biden to protect the people you claim to care for, goes directly to trump.

I’m so tired.

So weird thing I'm noticing is that almost all of the people arguing with me on my "please vote" post have profiles saying they're trans.

But, like, I know a lot of trans people in real life. I'm nonbinary. A lot of my closest friends are also in the trans community. All of them are planning on voting for Biden.

Maybe it's just because we're all older -- and we all remember 2016.

Maybe.

But, like, if any of you are who you say you are, I beg of you -- please understand that things are going to get so much worse under Trump. Right now we're fighting at the state level in a lot of places, and activism needs to be focused there. But if we lose the White House, it's going to start coming from the Federal government too, and it's going to be so much harder.

It's just exhausting sometimes.

[maggieqp]

it’s happening again.

back in October majority of the ppl in my friend group planned a Halloween party, which I was originally invited to. But later was uninvited without any fucking notice, because I’m surrounded by assholes ya know. Claiming “ there was too many people coming already, and you would’ve been late anyway”. But I was fine with that I let it slide, acting like everything was perfectly normal.

Then there was a thanksgiving party, which I was invited to and did attend, still feeling a bit unwelcome by some people but otherwise it was okay. Finally feeling like everything was going good again.

now it’s fucking Christmas time, well they’re hosting a Christmas party which again I am invited too. I thought everything was fine until this morning. Sitting in the holding area at school two of my friends and I have this conversation.

p” did you see they added H to the Xmas thing”

B”yes I saw that”

me”no I didn’t let me check” the group chat was originally on snap so I check there, and there’s nothing.

me”no I don’t see anything, is it on text?”

p”yes”

me”oh well I’m not on it” at this point my chest starts to hurt and it hasn’t stopped all day.

B”I’ll text A (the host) and let her know to add you”

me”okay cool”

after that we all go on with the conversation, then in homeroom me and B have this conversation.

After building up a lot of courage.

me”hey can you text A and ask if I’m supposed to be on that group chat?”

b”of course” and B texts A, I don’t know what B texted her but I trust B a lot so I don’t think it was anything bad.

me”because I’m an over thinker can you also say that if I’m not supposed to be on there that it’s okay”

b”yes I will”

then we all go on with our day, and everything is fine expect my fucking head it spinning and my chest hurts.

later in art class me and B have another conversation.

Me”question, is PP on that gc?”

b”no”

adding some context PP is a bully who is still in our friend group for some reason, and A originally invited her as a joke.

me”oh ok”

b”yes can you imagine if she just showed up”

after this conversation it made me feel like they were treating me like PP, as if I had done something wrong to them. Even though I have never once talking shit about them to anyone but myself I am so fucking nice to them when I shouldn’t be because they are a bunch of shallow bullies who only care about the self’s.

I am so fucking tired of their shit, I just want it all to stop because I am at my fucking breaking point. And nobody fucking cares, I absolute love B with all my heart. But today I was dropping hints to her that I am not okay and she just took them as jokes, which is fine because that’s how I was presenting them. But I am not okay, and I can’t do this anymore. But I know if I say a single bad fucking things about any of them that they will funding crucify me especially one of them names BW. she has admittedly had a bad year but so have I, and all everyone seems to care about is how her year is going. And ya know what she’s always in some type of fucking drama and has attempted to spread shit about me. Saying I was talking bad about her at lunch, even though I wasn’t even present at the lunch she was talking about so I quickly shut her ass down in the nicest way possible.

another bit of context during homecoming there was a huge divede in our friend group and BW was at the center of it, this is where she said I was talking about her. And while the situation has mended it is still not the same at all.

like this whole situation at homecoming really fucked me up because I want to be friends with all of them, but it felt like I had to pick sides every fucking day. To the point I had a fucking anxiety attack in public, but of course no one cares about that. No one cares how stuff affects me because they are too busy thinking about the’ self’s when I have spent my whole fucking life thinking about other people and how to make them happy.

And you know what I’m done messaging people first when I think they’re angry at me, no more damage control, no more letting them walk all over me. I’m fucking done.

but at the end of the day. Although everyone who has seen my previous post, and myself know that I will change nothing, I have written so many posts about how fake my friends are and how I’ll cut them off. But I never fucking do because I’m fucking pathetic as shit.

[yezzyyae]

I don’t like Sydney’s character at all I hate how ppl give her so much credit. Sydney don’t have nothing invested in the restaurant, she can’t handle pressure well, and she disrespects the staff also. Plus Carmy always had to repeat himself when it came to cooking to Sydney & I hated it. She can’t even cook and she followed Carmy from New York because his food was so delicious but get mad when he tells her that her risotto wasn’t ready smh. It scares me that there is a lot of Sydneys in the world smh ppl who are incredibly green and impatient. Carmy never looks her eyes like he is in love. Sydney is a clingy “only child” and she put the pressure on Carmy that he can’t have a life outside of “The Bear” because she doesn’t. How she got mad about him drawing the menu and talking to Claire about it is so immature and annoying. Carmy is the executive chef and he have the most invested emotional & monetary. Stop giving Sydney all this credit and I am a black woman she does nothing special. And the scene where she stabs Richie it’s her fault because Carmy told Richie to go make giardiniera and that’s what he went to do but Sydney being a bitch got mad like Richie was going over to pick with her. Sydney can’t handle pressure that’s why her business failed and that’s why the to-gos went bad it was not Carmy. Sydney was mad to Richie & Tina & Marcus in that same episode but nobody seems to remember that. And she quit because she wants Carmy to give her all this praise for doing the bare minimum. Sydney is a bitch also she was so invested in Carmy & Claire relationship when it did not concern her. If Carmy doesn’t call her a girlfriend so what Sydney go find friends outside the restaurant. She so weird she can’t even tell Carmy that her mother is dead like what she her mother been dead for years. She never said anything to Carmy about Mickey’s death smh she is an asshole and that is not a good trait I’m tired of it being put in shows like being an asshole is okay as long as you seem social awkward. Sydney wanted Carmy to stand on the side of her the whole “Family & Friends” night like wtf if you are his CDC that means you should be able to handle any pressure when he is away! Why don’t ppl understand this Sydney is annoying! Everytime I watch it I hate her character even more because she is so clingy! And Carmy kept her around because she spoke his kitchen language that’s all. Carmy was missing the kitchen language from his fine dining days and Sydney was the only one who spoke it. It’s not love smh Carmy & Sydney would make the worst couple worst than Rachel and Joey from “Friends” and that was a disaster!

Okay I am done my rant! 😂I really hate Sydney and all this praise she gets all she do is be an asshole and act like she is social awkward when she is not! She can’t cook every recipe she do comes out wrong. And she is impatient and needy. And Carmy don’t tell any women in his life “NO” if ppl watch the show like it’s being presented they would see that it stems from his mother Donna and her behavior. Carmy hates fighting especially with women.

[anothergirlfromaroundtheway]

I’m choosing violence today. I’m sorry, fire and air signs get too much shit. I’m tired of y’all acting like we’re the worst.

If it’s one thing every earth sign will do, it’s sit up and bitch all day about what they can’t stand or don’t like. Complain the whole time while y’all are out like stfu omg. Then claim fire and air signs are doing too much, sweetie if you’re too inhibited and self conscious to let go and have fun, just say that.😒 I’ve also noticed that if you don’t see it or experience it, then it doesn’t exist. Which is why it can sometimes be annoying to be in arguments with y’all because there can sometimes be a complete inability to put your feet in the other persons shoes( this is especially geared towards Capricorn and Taurus) but let an earth sign be wronged👀 oh it’s everyone’s problem. They’re an absolute martyr for everyone else around them and are soooooo mistreated and work so hard and you see nothing for it. It’s funny because they tell everyone to stop complaining and not be a victim but then act just like that when they feel wrong or unappreciated. And they’ll always let shit bubble until they explode but you’re sooooo honest right?

And water signs don’t get enough shit on how nasty they can be. I bet you a lot of the mean girls and bullies in high school were water signs. They will also recruit people on their side because they’re allergic to fighting on their own?? It’s always throwing stones then hiding your hands with some of y’all honestly. And y’all can also be incredibly immature and petty. Not every conflict you encounter with someone automatically means y’all are enemies. Conflict isn’t inherently bad. Then y’all justify this with “oh but we feel so deeply” news flash, everyone has emotions. That doesn’t justify the fucked and manipulative shit y’all do. But they’ll never admit that, because that would mean they’re not the perpetual victim.

Water signs have the reputation of being sweet, emotional babies that ppl completely overlook their crimes against humanity.

And earth signs have been portrayed as these hard working and stable human beings that ppl overlook their judgmental and hypocritical ways

[drakenology]

Arguments - feat Bakugo, Todoroki, Kirishima and Tamaki Amajiki

author’s note: i’m feeling angsty today. so this is gonna be about arguing with some of the bnha characters. anyone else feel off today? just me?

warnings: swearing, angst, fluff 🥺, and suggestive themes not full on smut. characters aged up! some of these are long.. i was feeling dramatic

headers from @annicon

Bakugo

as much as i love this man i can admit he would be SOO stubborn

would get frustrated easily

yells 🥺

he knows when to walk away when the conversation isn’t getting anywhere which is good

would NEVER hurt you (i’ve seen ppl write that this mf hits you... girl...domestic violence is not an aesthetic.)

he isn’t the best with words so it’ll take him a little while to admit he’s wrong because he can’t verbalize how sorry he is sometimes

when he does he’ll hug and kiss you and apologize like a million times after he’s done being a stubborn little prick.

gives you the best “i’m sorry “ dick imaginable holy shit

Bakugo done did it. He pissed you off. You were already having a terrible day and then you come home to this motherfucker with a bunch of people over after you told him that you weren’t in the mood for company. So for the rest of the night when everyone left, you gave him the silent treatment knowing that he HATES when you ignore him on purpose.

“Y/N?”

You say nothing, continuing scrolling through your phone to look like you were preoccupied.

“Y/N, what’s your problem? I know you hear me.” Bakugo persists.

You ignore him, turning your back to face him. He grunts and grabs your shoulder, turning you back around to face him.

“Y/N if you’re pissed at me just say that. But ignoring me is fucking immature and it’s pissing me off!” He yells. Translation: “What did I do? 🥺”

“I’M pissing YOU off!? That’s funny. Because it’s not like you didn’t completely ignore my fucking feelings tonight. Why did you invite Kirishima and Denki over after I specifically said I didn’t feel like playing fucking HOSTESS!” You shout back, throwing your phone somewhere.

“Are you serious!? I never told them to come here they just showed up. What was I supposed to do tell them to piss off!?” Katsuki asked.

“YES!” You scream, annoyed that he’s not getting the reason why you’re upset. You never minded having Bakugo’s friends over but you just wanted to have a calm night with just the two of you. You were exhausted and fixing dinner for you and 3 other people and listening to loud chatter about sports and video games was not on your to-do list.

“This is so fucking petty! I don’t get why you’re so mad that they came over.” Katsuki said shrugging his shoulders.

“That’s the problem, idiot! You don’t fucking get it! I worked all day today. I just wanted us to relax but no, you wanted to have a fucking guys night in my living room! It’s the complete disregard for my feelings that’s pissing me off not the fact that they came. I told you I was tired and you having them come over anyways was like a big fuck you to me!” You explain, your face pulled into a face Katsuki knows is your angry face. Bakugo sighs, not ready to admit that he was wrong.

“Tch. Whatever. I’m gonna go sleep on the fucking couch. Let me know when you’re done being fucking frigid.” He shouts, clearly out of anger.

“Fine.”

“Fine!”

Katsuki leaves your shared room and slammed the door, you throwing yourself onto the bed. You feel tears sting your eyes as you sob into your pillow. You hated fighting with Bakugo, and you knew he hated it too. He has a hard time expressing himself without getting defensive sometimes. But you knew he felt bad. You sigh and close your eyes and go to sleep.

The next morning you get up from bed and get ready to start your day. You shower and brush your teeth, you and Bakugo strategically avoiding each other all morning to go and do your daily routines. You didn’t utter a word to each other. Just questions and short answers.

“Got work?”

“Yup.”

“When?”

“7:30.”

The silence killed you both as you sat at the table and ate breakfast, Bakugo’s face pulled into a frown as he ate. You roll your eyes and go to put your dishes in the sink and grab his once he’s done. You can hear him get up from his chair as you wash both your plates and dry them. You had assumed he was leaving so you just wash all the rest of the dishes without turning your back. Suddenly you felt familiar arms wrap around your waist.

“Let me go.” You say, tearing up at the sudden touch. He was trying to make up with you and you were so ready to forgive him. The tension was almost too much to bear. This fight was small and it turned into something way bigger than need be.

“Not until you listen to me. I’m sorry, ok? I should have never yelled at you the way I did. And calling you frigid wasn’t ok either. I shoulda just told everyone to go home. We have those dumbasses over all the time. One night wouldn’t have killed me. I’m sorry. Can we just forget this shit ever happened? I hate it when you’re mad at me.” He pleaded, burrowing his face into the crook of your neck. You smile and turn around to look at his face, cupping his cheeks in both your hands as you stand on you tip toes to kiss him. He kisses you back eagerly, happy that you and him are back on good terms. He pulled away from the heated kiss and looks at the clock on the microwave.

“6:30...we still have an hour to kill. If you’re late I’ll drop you off.” Katsuki says, his eyes turning dark with feral lust.

“Late? What are yo-“ you’re interrupted by Bakugo pulling you into your bedroom with determination to make things right.. his way.

Tamaki (🥺 my new found love)

Tamaki is NOT a confrontational person so arguing with you is really hard. He hates raising his voice or even getting to a point to where he’s angry because he doesn’t want to think about hurting you in anyway.

He’ll shut down and turn cold or try and act nonchalant.

he might even avoid conflict by changing the subject

if he’s riled up enough though he’ll cuss you out.. to his dismay

doesn’t like being mad at you and vice versa

hates arguments.. like honestly can you just get over it so he can eat you out now?

speaking of eating you out, he gives apology head and he won’t stop until you say you forgive him.

Tamaki didn’t like to admit it but he was really jealous. Like really really jealous like YANDERE type jealous. You and him were out to dinner with Mirio so you were all chatting about mindless nothing, catching up like you always do. Nothing seemed to be out of the ordinary for you but to Tamaki it appeared that Mirio was a little too playful at dinner with you. He was cracking jokes and poking fun and Tamaki took it as him flirting with you; which Mirio would never disrespect your relationship like that. Rage sat in the pit of Tamaki’s chest as you laugh at all his jokes. He was furious but hid it pretty well for the night.

“And then Tamaki wet himself in front of the whole class when I scared him with my quirk in middle school. Can you believe it?” Mirio laughs, causing you to laugh at the thought.

“Oh leave him alone, Togata.” You giggle, waving your hand in front of your face to stop the tears from laughter. He had been making you laugh all night all to Tamaki’s disliking. He was quiet all dinner, which you noticed immediately after Togata’s last joke.

“Hey Tamaki, is everything ok?” You ask, concerned that he might not want to be out anymore.

“Yeah.” He said coldly. “Actually I’m just gonna go to the car. I feel kinda sick.” He stands from his seat and walks to the exit, absolutely fucking furious that you were “flirting” with his childhood friend right in front of him.

“Awkward. What’s up with him?” Mirio asks, completely dumb founded by Tamaki’s sudden disappearance.

“I dunno. I’m gonna go to the car and see what’s wrong. Do you mind?” You ask, standing from your seat.

“Nah that’s cool. I’m actually gonna head out. You go on ahead, Y/N. I’ll take care of the tab.. this time.” Mirio jokes. You giggle and thank him, walking towards the exit. You walk through the parking lot and find the car, seeing Tamaki sitting in the passenger side with his arms crossed across his chest. What was his deal? You open the car door and sit in the driver’s side to meet a thick tension.

“What’s wrong Tamaki? Do you really feel sick or are you upset with me?” You ask.

“Why don’t you ask Mirio? I’m sure he’ll be able to answer since he’s the only guy you talked to all night. It was like I wasn’t even there.” Tamaki says, calm but obviously pestered.

“Is that was this is about? Tama you know it wasn’t like that. Mirio has always been a jokester what’s the difference now?” You ask, getting a little upset at his accusation.

“The difference is that he was trying to make a pass at you. He was so obviously flirting with you.” He says, his tone becoming stern. You’re shocked at how he was getting, frowning at how unreasonable he was being.

“No he wasn’t, Tamaki.” You say, looking him dead in his eyes.

“Yes he was. I’m not about to fight with you about this he was clearly fucking flirting with you. He joked with you all night and you laughed at every single thing he said. You must want to fuck him, don’t you?” He asked, looking at you with some sort of betrayal in his eyes. This infuriates you.

“What are you talking about!? You know I would never cheat on you Tamaki. Especially not with your best friend. What’s with you!?” You ask sternly, not amused or pleased in the slightest.

“Whatever, Y/N.” Tamaki says, looking out the car window while turning the other way so he’s not facing your side of the car. He knew this was stupid and he knew your loyalty was never to be questioned but he couldn’t shake this feeling of jealousy.

“No. You don’t get to start a fight and then blow me off when you’re through arguing! Talk to me!” You yell, furious at this point. Tamaki shrugs, avoiding the situation entirely now.

“Just drive. I wanna go home.” He says, not taking his eyes off the view from his window. You roll your eyes and start the car, pulling out of the parking lot to start your way home. The drive home was so quiet you could hear a pin drop. You were so angry that you didn’t talk to Tamaki the whole way home, knowing you’d probably cuss him out if he said the wrong thing. Tamaki immediately felt bad after picking that fight. He didn’t know what came over him, he knew he had to make it up to you before you two go to bed angry with each other. You approach your shared apartment and park the car, silence still riddling the car. The tension between you both was intense and it scared you. You’ve never seen Tamaki this upset. Jealousy was always an issue for him but he’s never reacted this strongly.

“Y/N?” Tamaki says breaking the silence. You look at him, a little relieved that he’s talking to you again.

“I-I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that to you. I know you’d never cheat on me, of course. But I was just so jealous. It felt like you and Mirio were on a date and I was just the third wheel. The thought of him taking you from me drove me crazy. I wasn’t thinking. Can you forgive me?” He says, placing his hand on top of yours on the steering wheel. You sniffle, tearing up at his apology.

“Tamaki, I’m sorry I made you feel like that. I love you so much. No one could ever take your place, not even Mirio. I’d never betray you like that, ever.” You sob, tears flowing down your face. Tamaki questioning your loyalty really hurt your feelings and he hated seeing you cry.

“I know that. Please don’t cry. I’m so sorry, Y/N. It was so stupid of me to even assume.” He says, taking his hand and wiping your tears away. He took your hand and gave it a sweet kiss to soothe you, rubbing circles with his thumb on it as he consoled you. You giggle and wipe your tears, happy that you guys made up after that silly fight.

“Let’s go inside.”

Todoroki

arguments between you two get heated. It gets to a point where sometimes you don’t speak to each other for days. he’ll definitely give small reminders that he still loves you to butter you up to alleviate some of the tension.

raises his voice

just as stubborn as bakugo

to a fault of his upbringing facing his emotions was hard for him sometimes, causing him to be cold when you fight

when it’s time to get over it and make up he’ll make it a huge event; flowers, chocolates and lots of freaky apology sex

cant stand arguing with you just like tamaki but wont back down in the slightest

is sure he doesn’t say anything harsh to make the situation worse.

“Why are you being so stubborn?!” You shout at your bi-colored haired boyfriend. The two of you have been fighting all day to your surprise. Shoto was usually easy going and you two hardly fought. But today, a bug seemed to have crawled up Todoroki’s ass and he’s been picking fights all day. You’ve been arguing about small things like who left the bathroom light on or who ate the last hot pocket. Right now it was an argument about when you’re going to meet his father Endeavor. It’s been almost a year since you two have been together and you don’t even think his father knows you exist.

“For the last time Y/N we’re not going to my dad’s house. That’s final! You can argue with yourself about this. End of discussion.” Shoto says, very annoyed at the thought of being near his father. He still couldn’t stand him, even as an adult. He can’t bring himself to bring you around him because he knows how he can be. If he even says something slightly rude to you he’ll flip the fuck out. You groan in frustration, wishing he’d at least consider.

“He doesn’t know we’re together does he!? What am I to you some secret? Why did you stay with me all this time if your family doesn’t even know I exist !?” You shout, tearing up with seering anger.

“It’s not that. Of course he knows we’re together; my whole family knows! Why do you want to involve him so badly?!” Shoto yells.

“Why wouldn’t I want to meet my fucking boyfriend’s father!? You’re not making any sense.” You say, getting more and more frustrated as Shoto makes excuses.

“You know what? Fine. We’ll go meet him tomorrow. But as soon as he treats you like you’re not good enough for me don’t be surprised when I tell you I fucking told you so. God you can be so stubborn sometimes.” Shoto shouts, rolling his eyes at you.

“Oh I’M stubborn!? That’s rich coming from you. You’re being so unreasonable right now. I know you and your father-“

“YOU DONT KNOW SHIT ABOUT MY FATHER. Stop speaking on things you haven’t the first idea about!” Shoto yells, punching a nearby wall. (Oop.) You flinch, shocked at how angry he got so quickly. You tear up and run off to your bedroom, Todoroki immediately regretting getting so upset with you. He scared you and that’s something he never wanted to do to you under any circumstances. You cried yourself to sleep that night, angry that things got so heated. Why did he react like that? And why was he treating you as if you knew nothing about him and his father. He would vent to you about him all the time and you gave him advice when you could. But tonight you felt like you were nothing but an outsider. Shoto didn’t even bother coming into the room. He couldn’t face you after making you cry. Right now, he hated himself for treating you like that. He was just so afraid of his father’s judgement he didn’t want him to hurt your feelings with how crass he was. If Endeavor found the slightest thing wrong with you he’d never let you or him forget it. He could hear him now calling you unworthy of the Todoroki name. The thought alone enraged him. In his own cryptic way, he was trying to protect you from him but this was no way to do it nor did he have the right. Todoroki slept on the couch, missing your warmth against him in your bed.

The next morning the two of you drove to the Todoroki estates in silence. You were still pissed at him and Shoto didn’t want to say anything to further upset you. He was annoyed he was making this trip in the first place but he knew he had to man up for your sake. It was unfair of him to try and keep you away from his family especially since you would one day take on his name and be a part of the family when he married you. He knew he couldn’t keep you away forever, but god couldn’t he have had a little more time? He dreaded this day.

“Ready?” Shoto asks coldly, trying to hide his remorse from his tone. You nod, getting out of the car before he could walk over and open the door for you. Shoto is surprised and gets out with you, guiding you to his old home. He can’t lie, he’s so fucking nervous. What if he hates you? Not that he cares what he thinks, he’ll marry you anyway but still. He at least wants his blessing. You walk with Shoto to the main room of the home and wait for Endeavor to come downstairs. Suddenly you hear footsteps from across the room. It was him. He was tall and his aura was so dark and intimidating.

“You must be Y/N.” Endeavor says, looking down at your small frame. You nod, a wave of nervousness shooting through your body.

“N-Nice to meet you sir.” You bow respectfully.

“No need for that. Please, have a seat.” Endeavor says gesturing to the couch. You and Shoto sit down next to each other, Endeavor following suit by sitting across from you two.

“So.. how long have you two been together?” Endeavor asks, his booming voice almost sending an echo throughout the empty room. You gulp and look towards Shoto.

“10 months.” He answers for you, taking your hand to calm you. You’re still mad at him but god you’re glad he’s doing his best to ease your anxiety.

“And you just now arrange a meeting? Hm.” Endeavor questions, looking at you as if he was scanning you to find something irredeemable about you. You look down at your lap, unable to keep eye contact with the intimidating man.

“I-I wanted to meet with you sooner. Me and Shoto fought about coming here last night but I convinced him.” You say nervously.

“I see. You seem like an ok girl. Shoto has had his fair share of.. inadequate women in his life so, you’re a step up from the rest.” Endeavor says, motioning for a maid to make you all some tea. You laugh nervously, Shoto squeezing your hand in annoyance. Was that a compliment?

“You two seem like you’ve been fighting.” Endeavor says suddenly, observing both your body language. You’re both shocked as you turn to look at each other. How’d he know that?

“What’s it to you?” Shoto asks, glaring at his father.

“Oh nothing. But if you’re planning on marrying this girl it’s probably best to not argue too much with her. Hell, she might up and leave.”

Shoto looks at you, pain in his eyes. The look on his face alone said “I’m sorry.” Shoto hated to admit it but his father was right. Fighting as much as you have been, especially the fight you had last night was toxic and could take a toll on your relationship.

You smile at him and turn to Endeavor

“I’d never leave him.” You say, snuggling closer to Shoto as he blushed. He was embarrassed that he was being so vulnerable around his father but he knew that only you could make this happen.

After a long conversation with Endeavor and Shoto, you leave with a feeling that you might have won him over. You think? He was hard to read, just like Shoto. He was more like his father than he likes to admit. Shoto opens the car door for you to get inside and then walks to the drivers side to come in. You sit in the car for a while, silent until Shoto grabs you and leans over to kiss you. You kiss him back, tearing up into the kiss.

“I’m sorry, snowflake. I can’t believe I raised my voice at you like that. I was just so scared that he was gonna hate you and say something disrespectful. I should have just told you that instead of being defensive. I’m so so sorry I scared you. Please forgive me. ” He pleaded, peppering kissing on your face.

“I know. And I forgive you.” You giggle, pulling Todoroki closer to you to kiss him again.

Kirishima

Out of all the boys he’s the least stubborn when it comes to fighting. But don’t be fooled, he’ll argue you down. he’s very good at managing his temper when it comes to you.

Regrets starting a fight in the first place

Just wants to cuddle and go back to normal

But when he’s angry hooo boy

doesn’t even yell, he’s like a calm angry which is terrifying

tries talking over you, trying to plead his case

will not rest until the situation is resolved and over with so you guys can move on

like all the others... apology sex

will try not to lose his patience

You and Kirishima had been together for a while now so it was only inevitable that you two have your first fight. You were always a vigilant person and wanted to help others even though you were quirkless like Deku was at one point. Kirishima is protective of you to a fault and the thought of you getting hurt or worse didn’t sit well with him at all. You assured him that you were capable of taking care of yourself and protecting yourself but he wasn’t having any of it. You spent years perfecting your martial arts skills, training your ass off for countless hours everyday and he knew that. But he didn’t want you to one day meet your match without him there to protect you.

“Y/N, drop it. You’re not going on missions with me and that’s final. It’s too dangerous.” Eijiro said, his brows furrowed. He was trying not to lose his patience with you but you kept insisting. He just wished you’d forget about this whole thing; for your safety.

“You don’t have the right to tell me what I can and can’t do! I’m fully capable for taking care of myself and you know that.” You yell, irritated at your boyfriend underestimating your abilities. Eijiro sighs and stands up from the couch to stand in front of you, inching so close you could almost kiss.

“I’ll die before I let you go out there. Do you know what would happen to me; to your friends and family if something happened to you!? We’d be crushed. Please just drop this.” Kirishima says, wanting to avoid this conversation all together. But alas, nothing was changing your mind. You were very head strong and stubborn to no avail so you weren’t going down without a fight.

“You can’t stop me!” You yell

“Oh I can’t?” Eijiro challenged.

“No. You can’t. You can’t treat me like a child, Eijiro.” You say. “How can you say I’m not ready if you don’t give me a chance to prove I am!?”

“Because you just aren’t! Okay!? You say you’re not a child but you’re acting like one and a petulant one at that. Just drop it! God, you can be so stubborn sometimes. Don’t you see I’m just trying to keep you safe!?” Kirishima yells, instantly regretting raising his voice at you and losing his cool. You tear up, furious that he’s treating you like some kid. You grab your stuff and prepare to leave his apartment.

“Where are you going?” Kirishima sighs

“Fuck you, Eijiro.” You say, walking away from him and going outside to cool off. Kirishima tries to grab you before you leave but you snatch your arm away from him and walk outside with a huff and a slam of the door. You wipe your hot tears away and start aimlessly walking down the street to go home. Hell, you don’t even know your way home from Eijiro’s place but you’ll be damned if you go back there. As you walk you see Kirishima’s car pull up to the side of you, driving slowly to keep up with your walking pace.

“Y/N please get in the car.” He says out the car window

“No! I don’t wanna talk to you so just go away!” You yell, continuing to walk as the brisk wind assaults your bare skin. Dammit you forgot your coat.

“Y/N! You’re being ridiculous just please get in the car. You left your jacket; it’s freezing out here!” Eijiro shouts, getting out of the car and grabbing you to pull you inside. You groan, obviously being overpowered by your strong boyfriend. Kirishima slams the door and gets back inside, drives back to his apartment and parks in the driveway. He sighs and leans his head on the steering wheel.

“I’m sorry I got so heated with you. But can you blame me? I’m worried about you. Sure we’ll be on these missions together but what if something happens? What if I’m not there to protect you when something goes wrong? These missions are unpredictable; anything could happen and I’d literally die if even a scratch is put on you.” Eijiro pleads. You start crying, sniffling at his words. He was right to be worried.

“I love you, Eijiro and I appreciate you being so concerned about me. But that doesn’t give you the right to shelter me. You can’t just force me to not follow my dream.” You sob, wiping your tears away. Eijiro grabs your hand and kisses it.

“I know. I just can’t bear the thought of you being hurt. But if this is what you really want, I have no choice but to at least see this through.” Kirishima says, holding your small hand in his two massive ones. You smile, putting your other hand on top of his.

“Thank you. Also, I’m sorry for saying fuck you to you. That was mean.” You say pouting.

“It was. Hurt my feelings.” Eijiro said faking sadness, immediately laughing as he watched your face frown up again at the thought of hurting his feelings.

“Oh shut up.”

[lunarkittenn]

I have a big stupid crush on this boy from my hayride

But I feel like I’ll never be able to have a chance to even talk to him just to talk to him bc my ex boyfriend forces his presence on me. Labels me and makes sure to call me his girl and even comes in the makeup room as if he has some kind of say because I do makeup there.. lol

I’m soooo tired of feeling like a prop or an emotional support totem pole for someone else. I’m tired of manipulative language. I’m tired of feeling trapped. He talks so highly and so happily about me but then we hangout and he just acts likes something is wrong the whole time. Or he’s always in an annoyed mood. But when I ask it’s like “nothing is wrong”. It makes me want to cry and cry man, it really does. Before the hayride we had seen each other three times since the end of the hayride last October.

I’m so busy with school and work though I don’t even want to think about how to fix this. Everyone just thinks it’s so cute and happy and great to see us both there and !!!! Together ?!!!! and I’m so sad and exhausted feeling lol

I wish ppl could see how it is in texts. In person. When we’re alone. It’s sad because I really do love him. I care about him and want him to be happy and safe. But he’s also the loudest person in the room, always. He makes me feel so quiet and small, and I don’t even know if he realizes it.

[eunivrse]

I have your notifications on( I love you and your writing a lot so it's on😅) and I just saw that "why are you writing underage" thing and I find people like that so damn stupid. People(specifically anyone that lives in North America/the US as I've seen myself) act like 17 is so different from 18. SO many people start reading smut at a REALLY young age, even write at a really young age. I'm not saying a lot of them SHOULD be but why are people coming on writers blogs, the writers who obviously have enough common sense, intelligence and understanding of what they're writing about and emotional capacity to understand the things they're writing about? It's not like they're committing a crime? What are you gonna report them for "writing about fictional characters on Tumblr" like all the other 1000s of people doing so? It's not like they're committing a terrible act of anything 🙄 Obviously being 17/18/19 doesn't mean you're completely an adult even if by law you are/can be(depending on the country because for some people I'll have to write it out for them to realize there are other countries in the world besides the one they're in), but does it mean that you can treat them like literal children and behave like a helicopter parent on THEIR blog🙃

It's a bit embarrassing that the person who wrote that, who I assume is an adult of some sort has time to come on someone's blog and act like they're doing anything remotely good or "life-changing" like if you're gonna go sit in a corner and "think about what you've done" 🙄and that you, yourself does not understand what writing smut is like, as from your writing, I can obviously see you understand what you're writing about, you're amazing at it and you seem mature enough to understand what you're writing. And again I'm not condoning anything horrible, but bruh it's writing, they're not doing anything wrong and they know what they're doing.

I'm sorry for this whole ass thing but I just had to say this, I'm tired of people treating 17/18 year olds like kids but expecting them to behave like adults. Stfu and move on with your life and try using common sense.

Anyway I hope nothing I wrote sounds horrible and this makes sense🙃.

first off, thank you!!!! and honestly this just took the words right out my mouth and u articulated them so beautifully.

tbh before I found out about the world of tumblr smut, I assumed that fanfics were a TEENAGER thing, as most ppl who don’t typically consume this type of content do. I’m not saying mdni blogs aren’t valid and that minors should just break their rules, but generally speaking, a person isn’t mentally an adult until they’re in their fuckin 20s, most 16-18 year olds literally think the same way

and to an extent I get where some ppl are coming from especially since smut is usually such a sugar-coated depiction of how sex is irl, but I’m pretty sure by the time someone is 16-17, they have a pretty good idea of how it works irl💀

[thatnarcissisticfeel]

hi, thanks for answering, i appreciate it. also that you didn’t just call me toxic or some shit and tell me to fuck off. i’ve actually never thought of joining a discord server but it’s a good idea, thank you, i think i could try that. i guess on another account though to prevent anyone from accidentally finding out bc you know for yourself how it is. i’ll look up if i can find some kind of dbt workbooks online as well.

the journaling idea is good as well, i’ve actually been trying for a while but i end up rarely using it as a past experience left me with kinda bad trust issues about writing / drawing things down where someone could see them. but i guess i could try hiding it better this time or something. it’s just this thing that also sometimes venting like that actually ends up making me even more frustrated, as i realize i’ve already written about this exact thing countless times before yet still nothing has changed.

i’m trying not to make a too harsh judgement of my therapist yet, considering i haven’t been seeing her for that long, but… yeah. when i said that i’ve been going to therapy for years i meant going to a lot of different ones in this time. no one ever gets me. their advice is always so fucking useless. honestly at least this current one actually listens and doesnt make me feel uncomfortable or like i’m being judged. i think she’s the one i’ve been the most honest with because of that (and also because i just started telling her everything from the first session on already bc i’m tired of everyone always turning out to be nothing but a waste of time and money and effort), i generally lie to therapists esp my psychiatrist so i can get the meds i want (or else im 100% she’d just put me on some shit like antipsychotics, which ive been on in the past and i’d honestly rather kill myself than take them again, idk if you’ve tried them before but i basically felt r*tarded [idk how some ppl are sensitive of slur use like i personally dont care but i dont want your blog banned or smth] and tired all the time and it “”””helped”””” in the way that it made me too slow to be able to think about my problems. thanks psychiatry. not a traumatizing experience at all). i mentioned that i suspect i could have a personality disorder to her once or twice and she seemed to agree that it could be a possibility, but obviously no one can diagnose that fast. but i guess i’ll see. i really just want to know whats wrong with me, why do i think the way i do, why i can’t just be more fucking normal no matter how hard i try. but getting an actual diagnosis of a PD esp if it turned out to be this one would just mean i’d get treated even worse by every single doctor, not even necessarily a mental health one, bc physical doctors see all your records as well,, i’ve already been told my legitimate physical issues are just bc im depressed, or even if they dont straight up tell me they definitely treat me less seriously and i just know its bc i have mental illnesses diagnoses & im female.

i just … ugh. i feel so sick of it all and misunderstood. i know i can get genuinely abusive in arguments when someone upsets me but i really dont know how to stop or control myself. i hate that people act as if it’s all my fault. like everything i’ve gone through doesn’t even matter and i’m just an inherently evil person. like i didn’t have some kind of a terribly traumatic childhood, but i’ve always been either bullied or excluded by almost everyone i’ve ever met and all the social isolation honestly really fucked me up. i think that’s why i developed such a strong individuality complex as i’ve never been able to think all of it must be simply because i’m worthless. like fuck no, 99% of the people are dumb and shallow and ignorant towards reality of the world and i’m supposed to feel like i’m somehow worse than them? at least i have self awareness and my own thoughts. i mean i do think we’re all worthless because nothing in life has any value, so why should humanity be the exception? that still doesn’t stop me from hating everyone though. i may be a hypocrite but so is everyone else; and at least i don’t pretend to be a gOoD pErSoN. lacking empathy and not having morals doesn’t make me any less deserving of help even though i know how many people unironically believe people like me should just be shot. fucking brainless hypocrites, all of them.

but anyway yeah my point here is, fuck people who think anyone chooses to be this way. all of this has done nothing good for me other than made my life much harder. and not to mention unable to ever get genuinely close to anyone because what is the worth in a relationship if i can’t even bring myself to care about anyone? i don’t think “empaths” even realize how alienating it actually is. which is once again so ironic because THEY should be the ones to try to understand it, but no, they just generalize everyone and share the nonsense propaganda that we’re incapable of change.

so yeah, this turned into another vent but i really lack any people in my life who i could be honest with. i feel so lonely all the time. it’s not even really missing a friend group or romance or physical touch, it’s more of this feeling of feeling completely alone and that no one (other than a few people whose writings and actions i admire but they’re all dead) would ever be able to truly understand me. so yeah as cheesy as it is, sometimes it’s nice to be reminded i’m not alone by someone other than a generic social media post made by someone who’d 100% hate me if i told them even half this shit. can i maybe dm you sometime btw? i felt like staying anon while writing this bc i tend to get anxious with ppl at first but idk, maybe, if youre comfortable with that ofc

btw if its alright to ask can i ask how did you get diagnosed? what was the process like and how long did it take? did they suspect anything else at first? do you feel treated by ppl any differently now tjat you have a diagnosis of such a stigmatized disorder? (^ i mean these previous questions if youre diagnosed by a psych, if not its perfectly valid as well ofc) whats personally helping u to cope?

Good luck! I’m glad I could offer some help/reassurance. Maybe instead of a physical journal you could use a private blog or even just a notes app on your phone/computer if that sounds safer?

I do hope things improve with your new therapist and that things work out, it’s good that she at least agrees you might have a PD. Normally I’d recommend a therapist who specializes in PDs, maybe even especially NPD, but idk if that’s accessible for you and/or if you’ve already tried it and had no luck.

But again, I want to reiterate that you’re not alone, and what you’re going through and what you feel is 100% relatable to other pwNPD. I truly wish that more people understood us and the irony isn’t lost on me that it’s always “empaths” who are the ones who have the LEAST empathy for us. And I feel like the societal lack of understanding contributes to the more “ugly” or “stigmatized” traits of our disorder even more, tbh. Anyway, my point is that I definitely don’t mind at all if you vent, so please do feel free to DM me if you want to or feel more comfortable that way!

As for my diagnosis, it’s a bit messy — for context im a recent graduate from college and the bulk of my therapy came from campus services, where it was acknowledged I very likely had a PD especially within cluster B but I never got an official diagnosis while I was seeing the school-based therapist, and at the moment I’m trying to find a new therapist who can help me. At first we thought I just had a really intense form of rejection sensitivity dysphoria due to ADHD, then realized it was likely something else. So I’m a weird mix of “self diagnosed, but likely wouldn’t have admitted it to myself or realized it if a professional hadn’t pointed me in that direction.” Until I can find a professional im honestly just doing the best I can to help myself. Sometimes I get tempted to turn to substances to cope bc they make me softer and more open, and if you feel the same way I highly recommend avoiding this, ofc. I mostly use relatable music (lmk if you want my NPD playlist!) and DBT workbooks as a way to help myself, and I also just try my hardest to avoid or remove myself from situations where I might lose my cool and become toxic. Obviously this is easier said than done, but there are ways to do it. For instance, if I’m in a group chat where I feel like people are getting more attention than me, I’ll mute the group chat and maybe text someone from a different group one-on-one (not necessarily about my issues, just in general).I know that answer is pretty mild and entirely social media based lol, but it’s the best example I can provide.

[aerltarg]

Maybe this is a stupid question, buuuuut:

I just can't imagine a world that Rhaegar comes back from the Trident, wins the war and becomes king. No, I'm not a anti Rhaegar, matter of fact I like him very much, I'm just can imagine how would Lya, little Jon, this whole affair, would settle in the capital. The norm that fics (at least those I read) tend to follow is to make Rhaegar:

1. A douche, paranoid and destiny-obessed king.

2. Completely incompetent, aloof monarch, that deep down has a heart of gold, but can't really be understood.

I mean, isn't he supposed to be a scholar since he was a kid? What's are your thoughts about it?

oh, yeah, i can totally understand this! it's is the whole point in canon actually, "the wrong man came back from the trident". you would expect a hero win against his antagonist and have a happy ending w his lady love but it doesn't happen. instead the subversion happens to them with rhaegar being killed by robert who becomes obviously a shitty king and lyanna dying after him. they were never supposed to have happy ending, they were created as tragic and doomed and dead from the beginning for the whole plot to start, jon to have his parentage mystery and dany to take the passed baton as the last dragon, prophesied savoir and the heir who has to carry entire house on her back now.

as for the realistic rhaegar wins aus that's the difficult question. tbh we just don't know enough abt their situation, plans and wishes. you see, e.g. in agot we can be right in ned's head and see his motivations, what he was thinking abt, what he was planning, what he was hoping to do. but if his story was told the way rhaegar's was i bet he would have his own crowd of haters and ~intellectuals~ jumping out every two seconds w their "hot takes" how actually all hints abt what rlly happened (ned being a good man w his own sense of honour, justice and experiences affecting him and the deal w cersei's children) doesn't matter and he was an ambitious prick, planned to grasp the power by being joffrey's regent and make his daughter sansa queen. (you can actually insert there any bullshit and still don't reach the level of stupidity of such "hot takes" this fandom loves so much lmao). also he would be blamed to the hell and beyond for being too stupid and not foreseeing the future and actions of other ppl bc ofc after everything happened it's so easy to say what was so obvious to notice. also they would say that the deaths of his men and horrible fates of his kids are 100% his fault and even straight up say he killed them lmao. i can rant abt it for hours so yeah. this is a situation w too many unknown variables bc it depends too much on actions of too many characters we don't know enough abt. the only thing it's possible to tell for sure is the fact that there couldn't be any perfect solutions since things got too complicated at this point.

such fics as you've mentioned tho are just a part of this dumb fanon where rhaegar is "too prophecy obsessed"/"incapable of love"/shrodinger's rhaegar both smart and stupid at the same time/whatever/all of this combined lmfao. the man was notably intelligent from the early age as you've absolutely rightly mentioned, his guesses abt himself being tptwp have nothing to do w egocentrism as some parts of the fandom would want us all to believe unless he wouldn't be so reasonable abt it and later on, after so many years, wouldn't have changed his mind and thought his son could be tptwp.

and literally fuck all antis that think you shouldn't consider prophecies that hold real power in this fantasy world lol. you know, aegon the conqueror was said to be motivated (or at least partly) to unify westeros by the prophecy and still got the treatment of perfect/maximum close to perfect figure of a leader everyone should look up to from the narrative and grrm. prophecy obsessed much, huh? i don't even talk abt all these parallels between him and rhaegar grrm put there not for bitches to ignore them completely! and i will never get tired of reminding that dismissing prophecies is UNWISE for targaryens of all people. the house whose story is built on the dream of young daenys and her father aenar that listened to her despite common sense (or what local "anti magic"/"anti prophecies" clowns consider to be common sense). targs would be as dead as the rest of dragonlords if not for daenys the dreamer. who else in the world has as many reasons to take prophecies seriously as them?

yet antis out there act as if rhaegar is one dimensional weirdo whose every character trait is abt mf ~prophecy obsession~. like how can they miss one of the main points so badly?? the game of thrones distracts ppl from the real danger beyond the wall, yk, the one rhaegar was aware of and meant to deal with. there wouldn't be such a problem if he became king and had as many years of head start before ice zombies apocalypse as ignorant bobby b did. rhaegar had to die just for westeros to sink in shit and our main heroes to save everyone to make this story more epic LMAO

so yeah, too many ppl portray rhaegar as this one dimensional robotic creature without any knowledge of what feelings are idk even for what reason. it seems these ppl can't read for real bc rhaegar was not only intelligent af as well as dutiful ("it seems i must be a warrior" but "he loved his harp more than his lance") but also. ugh emotional?? my boy had constant emo sessions w brooding at ruins of summerhall, sleeping out there beneath the stars all alone and writing songs that made all women cry. does it sound as someone who "isn't capable of love" lol? folks act as if he was completely heartless from the day he was born (bc he didnt play w other kids ig??) but in reality their emotional range is less than the one of a spoon in comparison to rhaegar's lol. i'm not even gonna address the horrible attitude of demonizing him for his implied depression, vile clowns never listen to themselves when they talk abt targaryens and their "madness".

tldr; these fics are mostly lame af and suck at characterization if they're making rhaegar like that lol. anyway his character isn't abt being a good or a bad king, it's abt being a would-be-king for characters in books and readers in reality to sigh over his tragic aura and pretty aesthetic abt how it could've been. however, grrm clearly doesn't write rhaegar as evil or incapable as some parts of the fandom would want to try to persuade others. realistically speaking in the scenario where he wins there couldn't be any perfect decisions but it's a territory of speculations on thin air and lit nothing more since canon doesn't provide us with enough information to rlly theorize anything instead of building biased headcanons some ppl call "analysis".

but remember what barristan said about rhaegar while practically watching him all his life, from a literal baby to the man grown:

“I know little of Rhaegar. Only the tales Viserys told, and he was a little boy when our brother died. What was he truly like?”

The old man considered a moment. “Able. That above all. Determined, deliberate, dutiful, single-minded.” (ASOS, Daenerys I)

“Prince Rhaegar’s prowess was unquestioned, but he seldom entered the lists. He never loved the song of swords the way that Robert did, or Jaime Lannister. It was something he had to do, a task the world had set him. He did it well, for he did everything well. That was his nature. But he took no joy in it. Men said that he loved his harp much better than his lance.” (ASOS, Daenerys IV)

[golbrocklovely]

I’m sorry if this comes off as rude but I’m so tired of the emo/edgy aesthetic that everyone seems to have nowadays. It’s getting overused and boring. Maybe it’s just because I’m into coquette and old money but it’s so ugly to me. Especially the snc friend group. They’re all into the same things. Idk, but it’s getting tiring to me. I just wish someone would come on who looks different, acts different and into different things. That would be so refreshing to see.

i didn't know that was the name for that aesthetic. that type of style is so pretty to me, but i also know i would never be able to dress like that all the time or even often.

i've been into emo/punk/scene aesthetic and general fashion since i was 11/12. and have basically dressed that way since then. i've definitely gotten a lot better at stylizing and whatnot, but the idea has always been the same.

and while i get what you mean to some extent, i also don't think there's anything wrong with ppl wanting to dress darker now. i feel like for a long time, especially for me growing up, i was expected to dress girly or aesthetically like what you enjoy. and when i didn't feel comfortable doing that, i was seen as weird for it. but i felt more weird pretending to wear clothes like that.

i think that as long as ppl enjoy what they're wearing and they feel like it's expressing who they truly are, there's nothing wrong with exploring different aesthetics or trends or whatever. i think it's good to always remember that while some are just dressing trendy, a lot of ppl feel comfortable dressing in this style. this is their expression, and just bc it became trendy doesn't mean they're lying or trying to fit in with everyone else.

every style was popular at one point. even yours haha