#and there was only one cigarette (oh my god there was only one cigarette)

[syxoki]

my mouthwashing characters headcanons :3

Daisuke ><

Japanese from his mom and filipino + mexican from his dad

Grew up in japan until he was three, before moving to hawaii. Speaks japanese, english and a tiny tiny bit of spanish.

If im not wrong, hes rather rich, so he never really had money problems before.

Only child, even if he sometimes wished he wanst.

HE HAS A TONGUE PIERCING.

He often have tension with his mom, since shes rather strict, and often wants him to follow the path she trace for him.

Is a mitski fan and have gone to two of her concerts

Still secretly have plushies from when he was little

Was kinda a smart kid at school

Has a biggg collection of yaoi and yuri (that he hide from his mom)

HES SO GYARUO CODED

Tried playing re2 remake, stopped when mr x started going at him bc it was stressing him out

Definitely watched alien stage and cried his eyes out

Smells like soft citrus and a tiny bit of weed

says random brainrot quotes during the day (hes just like me fr)

Pansexual, fight me

Anya <3

Slavic/russian (she also give off french vibes but idk) but lived in london before going to work on the ship.

Lesbian, but before moving out of her parents house she had to hide it from them bc they were really conservative and religious, even if she discovered she was gay at like 12

Loves those old movies from the 70s or with a same vibe like girl, interrupted or movies with shelley duvall.

She lovesss dazey and the scouts

Did ballet when she was little

Knows how to play piano and violin

Have a black cat name midi 🙏🏻🙏🏻

Likes horror in general but get scared

Has insomnia

She have *hematophobia (just like me fr🗣️🗣️)

(*fear of blood,wounds or very gore things)

Smells like rubbing alcohol and lavender.

Curly (big tits)

British and german

He gives off very very heterocurious vibes.

Gymbro i fear.

Smells like vanilla.

Freaking huge, like, everywhere.

Knows jimmy since their last year of highschool. Gone to the same college as him and all.

Is such an enabler of rape and all that shit OH MY FREAKING GOD. I think that even if he respect women, he still have those Misogynistic stereotypes in his brain. People need to get that hes not the good guy in mouthwashing. (i still love him tho)

like jazz

Have a phobia of snakes..

Has a dad bod ngghhh..

Has kind of a big family (2 sisters and 3 brothers.)

Is such a people pleaser omfg.

Jimbalaya...

American, and a lil bit of turkish origins (from his dad)

(Tw for this one : sa, incest,pedophilia, child abuse) I hc that younger his dad sa'ed him. His life was a terrible hell before having the legal age (and even after) to get out of his family. He got abused in so many ways bruh. (doesnt make any of his actions anymore valid ofc)

Also got several girls pregnant before anya, he guess most of them aborted, but he never bothered or cared to check if he got a kid or not..

Had a BIG nirvana phase in his teenage years. Also hate those people who wears those preppy nirvana shirts.

Smells like cigarettes and cheap cologne

doesnt really gaf about his hygiene most of the time

Attempted several times, curly was the one stopping him most of the time.

Type of guy to say "OF detected, opinion rejected" on a random girl page then get an Subscription to the said girl OF 10min later..

Was half joking about the cartoon horses thing..☹️

fucking hate kids

Has a little sister tho, which is, surprisingly, surely one of the only thing he genuinely care about, always was worried for her when he left the family home and has to leave her alone with their parents.

Is kinda homophobic asf but fetishize lesbians (my nightmare).

Has SEVERE religious traumas and mommy issues.

Swansea (Hold on Swansea, im 𝓒𝓵𝓸𝓼𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓶𝔂 𝓮𝔂𝓮𝓼)

American and australian

Have 3 kids, two daughters and one son, also love his wife so freaking much

Play candy crush ans those shitty random mobile games

Smells like a hint of metal and axe deodorant

Dog person

Is such an old man, daisuke always have to explain to him what to do when it comes to things like smartphones,internet,pcs 😭

Was in the football team of his highschool younger

Is so loud in the bathroom at like 6am for no freaking reasons omfg, average dad experiences

Use "👍🏻" for Everything

thats all i have for him im sorry 😔

[dadsbongos]

last tin on the left

3.9 k words / warnings - not proofread, rape, pinv sex, fem reader, 1 homophobic sentiment from jimmy, JIMMY

summary - trailer park princess asks her scruffy neighbor, jimmy, to give her and her friend a ride to their concert. jimmy wants payment in flesh.

jimmy for @xyfanficarchive and daisuke for @toxycodone

“Hey, Mr. Zare!”

Must be eight, then. He loses track of time while sitting out on the elevated metal stoop to his trailer. Scratchy strapped jammy pants and a loose beater prevents none of the chilled morning air from sighing over him, blowing the steam from his cheap instant coffee into his face. One knee bent off the handrail with a cigarette dangling between two fingers. And both eyes locked on you as you bounce down the steps to your parents’ trailer,

“Early morning, huh?” you offer, positively beaming. Thighs glittering in the sunlight beneath that frilly little skirt. A bubblegum scrunchie folds neatly around your wrist.

“No school today?” he wonders, sizing up the pearly white polo tucked into your waistband. The neat sectioning of your hair in its style. Lips glossed and lashes combed darkly. He raises the light to his lips and fills his lungs with tar.

A soft, “I graduated!” peels out between bursts of laughter.

“Oh…” Jimmy flicks ash beneath the silver rail and watches it cascade onto the dirt lot below, “Guess I missed that.”

“I told my mom to invite you… She probably forgot.”

“Probably,” Jimmy snorts, “Or she doesn’t like me.”

You frown, “Why wouldn’t she like you?”

Lots of reasons could be given to land Jimmy on any shitlist belonging to any particular person in this park. Sometimes he ashes his cigarettes in old lady Lottie’s teeny plot of daisies. Riles up the burnout kid next over’s dog at night. Screams until he’s red in the face when he’s drunk.

“You and my buddy Curly might be the only people that do like me.”

Rather than acknowledge what he’s said, you merely beam brighter, “Ohhh, Curly! That’s the big blondie, right?”

Jimmy’s eyes slither along the bone of your shin, skimping right up your abdomen and lingering just at your cupid’s bow before finally meeting your eyes. He raises a brow at you, “You been eyeing the lug?”

“Not really! God, no, that’d be…” you laugh a little too hard, smile a skosh too wide and your lashes crinkle just a bit tighter than they have to, “That’d be so weird… he’s your friend! And isn’t he, like, way older than me?”

“Probably, he’s turning forty-two this year.”

Humming quietly, gnawing a cherry bottom lip, you nod as if any of this information is relevant, “Probably, yeah… uhm. Anyway!”

Jimmy slurps down more scalding liquid, flicking out more ash. This time at the toe of your squeaky sneakers. A greyed fleck smears over the rounded edge. When half his mug is empty, all air and brown ringlet stains, he rears straight into his smoke.

“Anyway… I was- well- I had… a question?”

“Did you?” he glances over your shoulder.

Your parents’ trailer is sleepy. Not even that stray your mother is fond of is curling around the corner, nosing for food. Every light behind the slatted windows out.

“Can’t ask your dad?” is grumbled between puffs.

“He already said no…” you lock your hands shyly behind your back, battling your eyes down at your neighbor and kicking a rock out from where it’d been buried in dirt, “I need a ride tonight…”

Jimmy’s brow ticks with annoyance. Hand tightening around the plain mug in his hand. Chest bristling with all the indignation singing to him to say something befitting of that abrupt request: fuck off no go die.

Sensing the ruthless rejecting ruminating on his tongue, you bring your hands up. Knotting them under your chin and jutting that fat bottom lip out like it’s got gold inside, “Please?! I’ll pay you back, promise!”

“With what money?”

“My friend’s got money!”

“Money you don’t have.”

“He already said he’d pay my dad, so I’m sure he’ll pay you too!”

“‘He’,” Jimmy scoffs, slotting his cigarette in his mouth and standing. Sucking out the last hits of tobacco before he crawls inside and slams the door in your face, “I’m not taking you and your boyfriend out to fuck.”

“Ewww, he’s not my boyfriend! And we’re definitely not- ugh, having sex. He’s my friend, we’re going to a concert together.”

“Why’d you waste money on tickets without planning a ride?”

“His mom said she’d take us.”

“He doesn’t drive?”

“No.”

Jimmy spits out the wasted stick and stomps it dead, guzzling the last mouthfuls of coffee before searing judgmentally, “Why not?”

“I dunno… just never learned.”

“Why doesn’t his mom still take you?”

Rolling your eyes, you groan out with folded arms, clenching with frustration, “Ugh! He pissed her off! He wasn’t doing his chores while she and his dad worked, so she called him a slacker and said forget it. We’re lucky he can even go out tonight still…”

“Where is it?”

You cringe, digging the toe of your shoe deeper into the earth, worming your lips around in a lock before seething. Teething glaring at him. Canines beared with utmost sympathy before you clip, “Flagstaff…”

“Bullshit. Two hours out?”

“Yeah…”

Jimmy glares at you without respite. Not refusing, and he lets it linger on purpose. He wants more than money. Doesn’t quite know what yet -or maybe that boil in his gut tells him he does, he just can’t choke it out as a word.

You’re a graduate though, apparently, so you’re smart, apparently, and you catch on. You must, because you’re chirping like a wounded bird, “Please, please, Mr. Zare, I’ll do anything!”

“‘Anything’?”

“Anything!”

Instantly, your payment is sealed in his mind. Whether you realize it or not -which, again, if you graduated you’ve gotta be smart enough to piece two and one and make three- you’re not owing him monetarily. That little polo from your mom’s closet is going to be on the bed of his truck. Or trailer. Or fisted into his hand. Or somewhere on the cold dirt far back into the treeline.

“Alright,” he dumps the gritty final skim of coffee over the side of his stoop, “When?”

“Well the show’s at eight, so like…” you twiddle your thumbs, suddenly skittish, “Five?”

“Your little friend has to be here by then, I’m not picking up some boy for you.”

“Okay!” you entirely ignore the sentiment of that statement, clapping excitedly with the teeniest squeal, “No problem, thank you! You’re the best, Mr. Zare!”

Fluttering down the dusty trail toward your family trailer, you wave him goodbye. Real kindly. Sugary sweet voice lulling across the short lot. Raised right- you don’t belong here, and you don’t belong in the passenger seat of his beaten muddy truck.

But you wind up there at 4:45 PM all the same, with some scrawny bleach-brained boy in a pink shirt on the other side of your arm.

The kid is babbling, rubbing his stomach. Jimmy is ignoring him, intentionally.

But you’re just sweet as fucking pie, always have to be, and you’re gently poking Jimmy’s bicep with those big batting eyelashes. Cutely murmuring, “Daisuke’s hungry… can we stop somewhere?”

Jimmy throws a glare through his peripherals, lips pursing, “Is he paying?”

Daisuke jumps, flushing, stunned before jerking his head in two chunky nods, “Yeah, man! I got it!”

‘man’ as if Jimmy is one of his fucking bros. He hopes this kid gets trampled tonight.

“Closest thing by is fine,” Daisuke adds, scrambling a hand through his grown out dyed hair. Nails raking through black roots as his head swivels for the nearest junk spot, “There’s a drive thru right there!”

Jimmy sighs through his nose, loud and overly apparent. The way anyone does when they want you to know they’re extremely irritated without having to say it, and fortunately for him everyone in the car is too young and nice to call him out. Instead, you and your friend just blink over at him wide-eyed as he swerves beneath the golden arches drive thru.

He waits exactly two seconds behind a blue BMW before veering leftward for the lot in front of the door. Grunting out complaints, something something too long, something shut-ins taking all day.

“Just get the hell out and order something,” Jimmy cracks the window and breaches his pocket, shaking loose a ricketing pack of Pall Malls.

Daisuke glances at you, shrugging. You shrug back. Whispers grate the back of his neck as he lights the end, watching it bleed out before plumes of smoke rise. Watching him watch the cigarette, is you -- through your lashes with both hands buried in the fabric of your skirt. Longer than the one from earlier, a little darker too. Purplish black. Maybe velvet material, he can’t be sure but what he does know is it stank like old lady perfume when you climbed into his truck.

“Do you want anything, Mr. Zare?” the kid asks, drawling it out a little too long. Spacey and full of holes.

Jimmy simply shakes his head. Doesn’t even thank him for asking.

Again, you merely shrug. Too young and too polite and too grateful for the two hour drive ahead.

Daisuke slinks out, promising to be quick. Waves at you through the window screen all cute like and cuts into the building. Leaving you and Jimmy and the stench of his smoking and a bird cawing outside.

“Uhm, did you think of the favor yet?” your leg starts bouncing, rocking the parked car in place.

“Stop shaking,” is all you get.

“Sorry…”

Jimmy kicks ash over the ridge of his window, glaring out through nicked glass. He fills his lungs just to have an excuse to not answer you. Not necessarily to put you on edge, but maybe to give you the idea of what he’s going to request. The longer the stilted silence goes on, the more awkward it gets; read between the lines, you fucking graduate, don’t you watch movies?

“Mr. Zare…?” you cross your legs, sinking down in the seat like some frail doll. Nails loudly clicking as you scrape them off one another. When he neither grunts or turns, you clear your throat: drier than sand. You try to swallow but only an eyedropper of saliva comes up. Teeth chittering, chest tight, you prod, “Uh… Mr. Zare?”

Your only acknowledgement is the brief dart of his eyes toward you. Lips still glued around the cylinder’s filter.

“You’re not, like, gonna ask for sex, right?”

Jimmy pauses. Plucks the smoke from his mouth to hang it out the window in one hand with the other braced on his knee. Head slowly swinging your way, brows furrowed and jaw clamped shut. Scanning you over with all the hurry of an old, fat dog.

“You, uh,” he croaks, very obviously observing the way your strapped top dips low into your cleavage. And your legs are bound in that dark skirt, with fishnets beneath. Your mom’s heels on your feet -a touch too big but you make them work, “You think I’m asking?”

When he says nothing more -not even a laugh escaping- you try tossing the line away. A quiet giggle choking through your teeth.

He just stares at you. Hawk-like. Or snake-ish. Shark-ey. Whatever he is, he looks like he eats meat.

Daisuke rips the door open with a greasy brown bag hugged to his chest. Without hesitation you spin in your seat and practically puke out,

“I have to pee!”

“Huh?” Daisuke steps back to let you out, “Why didn’t you go earlier?”

You plant two hands on the sides of the seat to shuffle out until Jimmy’s coughing, “Sit down. We’re gonna be late.”

Daisuke hisses through his teeth, “Sorry, I didn’t think I took that long…”

He slides in, caging you against Jimmy.

“No, really, I have to go,” you shiver into your boy’s side. Practically moulding into the gap under his arm.

“Hold it, you can go when we get there,” Jimmy reverses, completely skipping you over. Not glaring or ogling.

It makes you feel a little crazy. Paranoia clawing down your spine, interrogating your own memory of what he actually just said. If he’s genuinely that type? You didn’t think so, you don’t think so.

“Sorry,” Daisuke assumes your clinginess, your incessant shaking, is from that tightening coil in your bladder. Smiling at you full of apology before digging into the paper bag, peeling the edges back to show off his dinner, “Want some fries? Maybe the potato will soak up your pee.”

Grimacing, you can only sniffle at his innocence, “That’s not how that works, Daisuke…”

“It is with liquor.”

“Piss isn’t stored in the stomach.”

“It should be.”

“If you’re gonna keep whining, I can pull off in the woods,” suggests Jimmy, scratching through his scuff with hazy eyes. Said as an afterthought.

Similarly, without much thought, you nod eagerly and rake your nails into Daisuke’s arm, nodding, “Yes, please?! Yes, yes.”

Leaves and loose branches crunch beneath his crusty tires as Jimmy veers sideways, between two thick trees facing into the lush. Before he can even spare you a glance, you’re hurriedly sliding along the seat -- slamming into Daisuke’s side, knotting both hands in his shirt and fucking shoving him out of the truck.

You hiss up at him after slipping free, “Do you have to pee, Daisuke?”

“Not really…” he shrugs you off his arm, slanting back against Jimmy’s beaten truck.

“But you’ll have to, probably? Right?” you weasel a hand back into his. Clammy and shaking, you think he has to notice something is simply OFF. Your hand for one, and you’re pushing too hard, and you’re looking up at him like he’s going to bite you, “So why not just try now?”

“Ehhhh,” Daisuke squeezes your hand, cheeks flushing, and releases you with an airy giggle, “I don’t have to go, but I’ll stick right here for you.”

“Daisuke…” you whimper, lips warbling. At this point, you two might be able to run out faster than Jimmy could crawl from his truck if you just told him to speed for it.

“Hey,” jumping at the sudden grunt, your head ticks toward the man stretched over the wheel. Long arms around the bend and scowling at you through the window, his door popped with a leg poking free, “You gonna go or what? We’ll be late.”

He’s anticipating it, your loose lips.

“Uh, sorry…” you slither back, shooting Daisuke a glance he cluelessly blinks at before turning and dragging yourself beyond the treeline.

Beneath the hanging bush no rays of orange light kiss your face, you can barely make out the impression of your own quivering hand on a tree. Darkness warping the swollen vines of each trunk, overgrown grass braiding over itself as it tickles your knee. A buzz fwips beneath your ear, something bead-sized careening straight into your pulse before it loudly flutters back and zips away. Bark scrapes off into the creases of your palm as you brace to circle back.

Surely, you pray, surely Daisuke would understand when you’re hidden behind a tree and waving him into the woods. No way did he graduate with honors but he’s of sound mind, you assume. Or at least not so dense as to not read the upset crank in your face.

Rounding a few extra trees for safe distance, you slowly peek around an empty gap -- a clearing just wide enough to observe the crusted truck. Daisuke’s head is rolled against the passenger side window, eyes low and long fingers drawing patterns into the dashboard. You slide a few inches aside, neck craning in search of Jimmy only to find the driver’s seat vacant. Crouching does not unveil him beneath the truck. Sliding the opposite way does not reveal him laid in the bed. Not even his tattered boots can be seen scuffling between tires.

Darting with low knees, you snake over uncut grass and slick against the side of the truck. Rapidly tapping your knuckles on the side, spitting wind through clenched teeth,

“Psst! Psst!”

Jumping in his seat, Daisuke only smiles at you, “You’re back. That Jimmy dude left to go find you.”

“Good, c’mon, c’mon!” you rip open the side door, clawing into his shirt and lugging him toward you. Until he’s stumbling out over you, tripping on your feet and smacking his jaw into your shoulder.

Rubbing the sore joint, Daisuke frowns at you, “Sorry, Jesus- what’s your deal-?!”

“Shut up,” you hiss, whipping the pair of you around to run down the road until some unsuspecting trucker rolls up and saves you both.

Jimmy’s dead eyes stop you. Lidded and dark, jaw straight sans the unsymmetrical scar stretching over his cupid’s bow. Shoulders squared with a knife in his right hand. Blade glinting even as the sun fades.

“Uh, Mr. Zare?” Daisuke steps back.

Two steps. Two steps you should’ve curved towards nice old Lottie’s trailer instead. Two steps past the door to where your dad was passed out on the couch, where you should’ve groveled instead. Two steps is all it takes Jimmy to grab you by the arm, bruising his prints into your bicep while Daisuke watches with both hands raised.

“Does he touch you?” Jimmy doesn’t wait for a response, “Does he kiss you?” he nudges a chin towards Daisuke, “Show me, kid, show me how a man kisses his girl.”

Daisuke balls fists on either side and scrunches his eyes. Taking two fucking steps toward you and cupping your cheeks. Thumbs curving along bone as his soft lips press against yours. Absurdly chaste while there’s a knife in your back, he tastes like strawberry chapstick.

“Touch her, big man,” Jimmy’s jab dies as a snicker right by your ear, “Go on, she was gonna fuckin’ let you tonight anyway, right?”

Daisuke’s cheeks enflame, he pulls away just to hide his face from you again. Cheek to your forehead as he swallows hard. Palms oozing sweat against your face.

“I- I- I can’t……”

“I- I- I- I wasn’t asking,” Jimmy mocks, kicking Daisuke onto his back. The younger man ‘oofs’ and groans in agony while Jimmy wrings you into his side with one arm and the other swoops down to drag Daisuke over rocks and dirt until he’s propped against Jimmy’s truck tire.

His thumb sweeps along the curve of your waist almost affectionately and you feel bile burn the back of your throat. He spreads Daisuke’s legs with his boot and pricks the fold of Daisuke’s jeans with his knife, spitting for him to peel them off.

“Not hard yet,” Jimmy’s hand on your waist comes up to squeeze a tit, rough hands searing through your shirt, “With a pretty thing like this grabbing onto you? You gay?”

Daisuke keeps his eyes low, frantic fingers fumbling his fly.

“Help his ass out, baby,” he grunts in your ear. Cigarette stink wafting into your face.

Jimmy shoves you onto your knees, dirt flying up staining the material of your mom’s skirt. Jagged rocks skinning the palms of your hands. When you don’t immediately claw at Daisuke’s pants, the heel of his boot finds your ass to kick you forward. Scratching your nose against the teeth of Daisuke’s zipper.

Without any thought behind it at all, Daisuke’s hips jump against your mouth. The quietest ‘sorry’ slips out seconds later. When you try to pick your head up, Jimmy stomps it back down and encourages Daisuke to hump.

Lean thighs twitch around your head. Daisuke hesitates, then firmly plants both feet in the ground and mewls when his groin smushes into the fat of your cheek. You reach around his hip to at least shuck open the offensive material binding his cock rather than let denim serrate your face.

Half-hard and still pudgy, Daisuke flops out. He can’t look you in the eye whatsoever, preferring instead to let his gaze linger at your lips. That avoidant stare remains strong, even as he fists his pitching chub to feed into your parted mouth.

Tongue poking out to softly lave up from his balls to his reddening tip, already leaking over the bridge of your nose.

“Sorry,” Daisuke whispers, eyes clenched but he’s trying to coax you to take him into your warm mouth, “Sorry… sorry…”

A hard tug at the bottom of your skirt is the only warning you get before a second pressure at the hem drives upward. Sharp sounds of threads snapping race through the air as Jimmy cuts open the back and ribs the fabric aside to rip open your underwear. One thumb massaging down the seam of your cunt before finding your clit and circling absentmindedly.

His hand drifts away one moment and his cock prods your hole the next.

A warbled gn-hn-nyooooo bubbles out around Daisuke’s dick in your mouth, throat bobbing and squeezing his veins. Despite himself and you, Daisuke moans. Fisting a hand at the back of your head, yanking not to pull you off nor to push you deeper. Just because it’s about all he can do without pissing off Jimmy.

“‘Nooo,’” he mimics, throwing a faux sniffle and whimper out as he sinks inside you, “Fuckin’ wet for it, though,” his palm claps roughly on your ass, groping the scorching flesh and pulling you open to watch you suck him in, “Knew you were a skank, hah, coming up to the worst guy in the lot for attention. You wanted this shit, baby, didn’t you?” he knocks Daisuke’s hand on your head aside, replacing it with his own and pressing your nose into wiry black pubes, “Didn’t you?”

You just wanted to go to a fucking concert.

Daisuke gasps at the squelching sound of your pussy swallowing Jimmy inch by fat inch. Your throat constricts around him. He feels around the front of your neck, pushing on the protrusion of his weepy head like a button and the sensation makes globs of drool dribble down his chin.

Jimmy leans his weight on you from behind, calloused hands cutting up your sides and along the ridges of your ribs to fondle your tits. Laying his chest to your back, having the nerve to kiss along your shoulder and bite. Still forcing you down, as if you aren’t practically molten against Daisuke’s groin, until you’re snorting for air through your nose and Daisuke’s twitching in your jaw.

Cum splatters down your gullet and fucked deeper by Daisuke’s shaking hips before Jimmy wrangles you upright. Sinking tobacco-yellowed canines into the junction of your shoulder pending his own shivering, shuddering orgasm. All but snarling and barking like a dog, emptying inside you. Shallow cuts left in the wake of his blunt nails.

To really, really bind part of himself to -or inside- you forever; Secure this as the worst night of your life.

Jimmy stumbles back, pulling up his pants and rebuckling his belt before sliding back into the truck. A lighter clicks and a cigarette sizzles and Jimmy lets out the most ailed sigh you’ve ever heard.

Daisuke cries. Shrinking into himself miserably.

You climb into the truck, stapling tattered shirt and torn skirt to wherever they’ll remain and hide the rest of your dignity. Peeling seat scratching your bare ass as you softly ask,

“Mr. Zare… Can I borrow a jacket?”

Jimmy nods, throwing an arm around the back of the seat in search while exhaling smoke into your face. Eventually he finds and pulls out a dark green piece with silver buttons.

“Boy, get your ass in here and stop whining!”

Jimmy doesn’t wait until Daisuke has even shut the door after himself before whipping off the side of the road. And he doesn’t even ask if you still want to go to the show before taking you home.

Kissing your cheek.

Murmuring, “Nobody’ll fucking believe you, slut.”

You talk to the worst guy in the lot for attention, after all.

[pharawee]

Pop Pataraphol Wanlopsiri as WINNER Lee Asre Watthanyakul as DEAN Garfield Pantach Kankham as KENTA

▷ PIT BABE 2

[frankburn]

i have got to stop smoking 😭 someone oughta curse my mom for encouraging (down right offering) all her kids to become addicts of various sorts. and out of everything ive stopped doing i still cant stop smoking thats whats pissing me off the most!!! sorry. happy new year. ill figure it out

[nattousan]

so me and the bae have taken to what i like to call trashwalkin' since i'm currently unemployed and they're part time.

Trashwalkin is literally us just going on our usual walking route around the neighborhood and using claw grabbers to pick up as much garbage as we can as we walk along the side of the road.

It's fun, it's like a game to see who can find the weirdest shit, and oh boy it's gonna be hard to beat what we found today

nevermind that two copcars screamed past us as we were looking at it lmao

i shall update this as more weird stuff is discovered

[unproduciblesmackdown]

Today’s Joe Iconis Christmas Extravaganza clip is the devastatingly French Thérèse Neige-Noire (played by @hellojacks ) singing a depressed rendition of “Hard Candy Christmas” featuring Mr. Macabee (played by @juliamat) and our Hot Candy dancers in costumes by @bren_bash. The most extravagant cure for the holiday blues? Cellophane and legs and appropriately prescribed anti-depressants!

[zhelin-thames]

Tiny baby ghost

idea from Prompt for @silverblueglitter

The summoning circle glowed an eerie green, casting sharp shadows around the Justice League's meeting chamber. John Constantine, sleeves rolled up and cigarette dangling from his lips, muttered the last words of the incantation. The room held a tense silence, broken only by the faint hum of the magical energy.

When the green smoke cleared, instead of the imposing figure of the Ghost King they’d expected, a scrawny teenager in a black jumpsuit with white gloves and boots appeared, looking distinctly unimpressed.

“Seriously?!” Danny Phantom groaned, throwing up his hands. “It’s a school night!”

The room collectively blinked. Superman and Wonder Woman exchanged confused glances. Batman’s eyes narrowed behind his cowl, while the Batkids—perched around the room like chaotic gargoyles—leaned forward, intrigued.

“This… is the Ghost King?” Nightwing asked, his voice skeptical but amused.

“Ghost King?” Danny repeated, holding up a hand. “Nope. Wrong guy. Try again.”

“Clearly, this is a child,” Robin said flatly, stepping forward with his arms crossed. “Either the summoning ritual failed, or we’ve been deceived.”

“Who are you calling a child, mini-Nightmare?” Danny shot back, floating an inch off the ground to look taller. “I’m fifteen. How old are you, eight?”

“I am fourteen, you insufferable spirit,” Robin snapped, glaring daggers at him. “And you are woefully unqualified to speak to me in such a tone.”

Danny rolled his eyes. “Yeah, okay, Robin Junior. Let me know when you grow a sense of humor.”

Red Hood, perched casually on a table nearby, barked out a laugh. “I like this kid already.”

Robin scowled. “You would.”

Red Hood swung his legs off the table, standing to his full height. “Alright, Casper, if you’re not the Ghost King, why’d this ritual grab you instead?”

“That’s a great question! Wish I knew!” Danny said, throwing up his hands.

Constantine frowned, stepping closer. “You’re definitely ghostly, mate, and half-alive by the looks of you.” His sharp gaze softened just slightly. “You’re a bloody halfa.”

Danny froze, eyes darting to the swirling green barrier still holding him in the circle (not really). “I’m a ghost. And yeah, I’m alive. What’s it to you?”

Batman loomed closer, his deep voice cutting through the room. “If you’re not the Ghost King, why does this summoning work?”

“Great question! Wish I knew!” Danny threw up his arms again, his ectoplasm glowing faintly in frustration. “I don’t even know who you are, and you’ve already ruined my night! or Maybe the universe hates me. That’d explain a lot!”

“Who even made this circle?” Red Hood asked, pointing at Constantine. “Did you check it? It’s glowing green. That’s ghost vibes, man.”

“Thanks for the observation, Red Hood,” Constantine said dryly. “What gave it away, the ectoplasm or the ghost?”

“You are in no position to demand answers,” Batman growled.

“Oh my god, you’re worse than my parents,” Danny muttered.

Before Batman could respond, the air grew colder. A heavy, oppressive presence filled the room as green flames erupted in the middle of the chamber. From the flames stepped Pariah Dark, fully armored and radiating raw power, his glowing eyes zeroing in on Danny.

The League tensed, weapons at the ready, but Pariah didn’t even look at them. Instead, his expression softened in a way that could only be described as paternal as he reached out and plucked Danny out of the circle like a child grabbing a stuffed animal.

“Who dares summon my child?” Pariah rumbled, his deep voice shaking the room. He cradled Danny in one massive hand as though he were the most precious treasure in existence. Danny, for his part, just sighed and leaned against one of Pariah’s fingers.

“Dad, chill. They’re not trying to hurt me—” Danny shot a glare at Batman, “—yet.”

“‘Dad’?” Robin echoed, utterly baffled.

“They stressed him out,” Pariah continued as if Danny hadn’t spoken. “This is the third time in two weeks. Do you know how much sleep he’s lost? He has school!”

Pariah’s gaze darkened. “The third summoning this week,” he growled. “And for what? To disrupt his rest? His studies?”

“Studies?” Robin repeated incredulously. “This alleged ‘Ghost Prince’ is concerned with—”

“School,” Red Hood supplied helpfully, smirking. “That tracks. He’s just a kid.”

“I’M NOT JUST A KID!” Danny protested, his voice cracking slightly. Jason snorted.

Before anyone else could respond, Fright Knight materialized beside Pariah, his armor gleaming and his sword crackling with ghostly energy. He took one look at the summoning circle and grimaced.

“Shall I eliminate the offenders, my liege?” he asked Pariah, his grip tightening on his sword.

“No!” Danny yelped, waving his hands frantically. “No eliminating, no smiting! We talked about this, remember?”

Pariah sighed, his massive shoulders slumping. “They stressed you out,” he rumbled. “They should pay.”

“They’ll be fine,” Danny muttered. “Just… let me handle it, okay?”

“‘Fine,’ he says,” Red Hood muttered. “We’re seconds away from getting blasted into the afterlife.”

Robin's hand drifted toward his sword, his eyes darting between Pariah and Fright Knight. “This is absurd. We are the Justice League. Surely, we are not so easily—”

“Shut it, kid,” Consttantine interrupted. “Unless you want to test if we’re actually ‘fine.’”

Danny groaned. “Can we not do this right now?”

Wonder Woman stepped forward, her voice calm but firm. “We summoned you because we need the Ghost King’s aid to stop a catastrophic magical event threatening the world.”

“Then why not summon him?” Danny snapped. “I’m not the king!”

“Yet the ritual brought you,” Batman said, his voice a mix of curiosity and accusation.

Pariah’s gaze darkened. “The crown does not transfer unless challenged. And none shall dare challenge my son.”

Danny squirmed in his ghost-dad’s grip. “Okay, Dad, they get it. Can you not threaten to destroy the world for five minutes?”

Pariah huffed but gently set Danny down, though he remained close, a looming shadow of protective menace.

Constantine rubbed his temples, muttering something about “bloody teenagers” and “overprotective ghost tyrants.” Meanwhile, the Batkids exchanged glances, clearly plotting something.

Danny sighed. “Look, I’ll help you guys with your big, scary magical problem, but can we make it quick? I have a chem test tomorrow.”

[chuulyssa]

──── ★ DRUGS SUCK IT UP LIKE VANILLA ICYS the recruiter x reader ────

starring the recruiter x detective!reader count 2.3k genre 18+ dark themes, yandere, stalking, kidnapping, gunplay, smut

notes I'LL KEEP EDITING THIS AND ADDING MORE SHIT WHENEVER I GET HORNY !!! make sure to keep tapping in lol notes wanted to write smth non horny but gong yoo just had to deepthroat that gun 🙂‍↔️ wrote this at 2am and i have my practicals tmr

You had no idea when you had lost track of him. One minute, you had been following his step through the bustling train station, and the next, your vision had blurred, and a sharp pain had shot at the base of your skull.

You didn’t know how long it had been since then. You opened your eyes, immediately shutting them back due to the sudden appearance of light to them. The scent of cigarette smoke filled your nostrils, and your tongue tasted blood.

You wriggled, trying to move your arms, but your hands had been tied behind your back, ankles tied to the legs of the chair you had been made to sit on. You opened your eyes once more. The room was dim with a single light bulb flickering on and off again and again.

“Detective,” a voice cooed at you from behind you.

You snapped your neck up to see his face smiling gleefully, staring down at you with a predatory glint in his eyes.

“Imagine my surprise,” he continued, moving away to stand in front of you, “when I realized the pretty lady that had been following me all this while,” he leaned against what you could make out to be a wooden table, “was you.”

His smirk was maddening. You remembered it from all those years ago. The handsome man in a suit, way too overdressed to meet you where he had. The man who had approached you when you were hopelessly drunk in a children’s park, crying about an unsolved case. He had wiped your tears back then, kissed your fears away. You still recall his words.

“Since we’re in a children’s park, how about a children’s game?”

Thank god for the polite refusal of yours, or you would’ve been in the same position as your current client. Seong Gihun. For whom you had been trailing this man for weeks now. The Recruiter.

“Hello? Earth to you, miss?” He snapped his fingers in front of your dazed face, making you jump at the sudden sound. He laughed at you. Then, flicking ash from his cigarette onto the floor, he mocked you. “I had such high hopes for you back then, sweetheart. But you said no,” he pouted, then cackled maniacally at your expression. “I got a kiss though!”

“Shut up,” you hissed.

He chuckled darkly, the sound echoing throughout the small room. Your eyes darted around to check for windows or exits, but you couldn’t find any in the pale lighting. “Aw, you want me to let you go? After you’ve been my little shadow for the past month?”

You looked away, and he only smirked, walking towards you. He grabbed a fistful of your hair and yanked it upwards to catch your attention. “You look at me while we’re speaking. Don’t you have manners, love?”

“Don’t call me that,” you scoffed.

“Oh, you don’t want me to call you that? Is that right, love?” He jeered. When you scowled at him, he dropped his smirk. “Oh, come on now. We both know you’re not going anywhere. Come, let’s have a chat, shall we?”

He sat on the floor, his toes lifting him off the ground by themselves. The soles of his shoes clinked, tilting up so that he was mostly leaning onto you.

“It’s so flattering,” he began, “that you spent so much time trying to follow me all this time later. Am I that captivating, Miss Detective?”

“No.”

“Ah, but you are, certainly,” he nuzzled his face into your lap, making you squirm. You tried to close your thighs, but the restraints didn’t allow you to. “I’ve been dreaming of you ever since I saw you that night.”

He hummed, his knees going down to support his stance. He moved his hands to caress the front of your waist softly. “I cried because you were crying. So don’t cry over anything other than me, hm? It makes me so upset.”

He unbuttoned your pants swiftly, and you flinched. He looked up, amused at your reaction. You glared at him, refusing to speak, but the look in your face, the desire in your eyes, even the wetness he could practically smell betrayed you. He tilted his head.

“Still so stubborn,” he murmured, reaching out to brush a stray strand of hair from your face. You jerked your head away, but the restraint made it futile.

He leaned in closer, his voice dropping to a whisper. “You’re in my world now, detective. And in my world, we play games.”

He pulled out a revolver from under his suit. The metallic click of the very much real weapon cocking made your breath hitch.

Where did he get that from?

He always managed to surprise you.

“Russian roulette,” he announced dramatically, spinning the cylinder. “You know this, yes? A game of chance. Just like life.”

“You’re fucking insane,” you spat, trying to keep your voice steady, but you could feel it quaking in fear. You were scared now.

“Maybe,” he agreed, stepping behind you and pressing the cold barrel of the gun to your temple. “But aren’t you curious, detective? I am. I’m so so curious. You make me feel it. To crave it. Don’t you see it?”

You closed your eyes. The pressure of the gun against your skin seemed unbearable now. It was as if the nuzzle could pierce through your brain with how he was holding it against you.

“I want to see,” he kissed the top of your head, “just how far you’re willing to go to solve this case.”

I’ll do anything, you thought.

“I’ll make you a deal,” he whispered, his breath hot against your ear. “Beg me to stop, but there’ll be consequences then. Or take the risk.”

His voice was a low purr. The gun shifted slightly, trailing down your temple to rest just below your jaw.

“Say the word, and I’ll put it all to an end. No more games. No more questions.” His other hand came up, ghosting over your chest. “But then you’ll have to give me something else in return.”

You swallowed hard, forcing yourself to steady your breathing as he groped your breast through the fabric of your shirt. The room felt too small, the air too thin.

“What’s it going to be, darling?” he teased, the nickname twisting in your gut like a knife. His fingers found your hardened nipple through the fabric, and his lips your neck.

“I...” you started, but your voice cracked. His soft chuckle rumbled against your pulse, sending an unwanted shiver down your spine.

“No shame in fear,” he said, almost kindly. The gun tilted up, tilting your chin with it, forcing you to meet his dark, hungry gaze in the reflection of the mirror in front of you. “Little Miss Detective, found dead in a basement room. Your parents wouldn’t like to hear that now, would they?”

Your eyes widened. He knew. He knew from the start you had been tailing him. He had kept tabs on you, more than you had on him.

“Stop,” you whispered. “Please.”

“Ah, is that the best you can do?” He cooed at you, and your hands clenched into fists.

“Please let me go,” you said, almost angrily, and he threw his head back to laugh.

“That’s not how you say it, dolly.”

You took a deep breath in, feeling your pride crush and fall down around you in bits and pieces. “Please, I’ll do anything.”

“Anything?” He repeated in a child-like voice. “Like what?”

“Anything you like.”

His smile grew. “Will you be willing to play a game with me, then?” His hand reached under your shirt to caress your nipple, and you could feel yourself gushing at the touch.

“What game?”

“Hm, let’s see,” he murmured softly, fingers circling around your nipple. “I’ll count down from ten.”

You swallowed hard. “And?”

“And for every second that passes, I’ll take one step closer to you,” he explained, his lips curling into a sly smile. “If you say the safe word, I stop. But…” He picked up the gun, rolling the cylinder lazily before he pointed it to the side and—

BANG !

You shook, trying to cower and hide yourself, but even that was difficult. The aftereffects of the shot echoed in the silence, until it faded away. It made everything seem realer, if that was even possible. He grinned at your reaction. “There will be problems.”

“What problems?”

“That’s for me to decide,” he said simply, leaning forward, the gun still in his hand. “Do you want to play, Miss Detective?”

You hesitated. There was no way out of this room, no way out of his control. And he knew it.

“Good.” He stood, assuming your answer before you even responded. But the gun was still in his hand, and you didn’t dare disobey. He stepped back to the far wall and bumped into a table on the way. Angrily, he kicked the table out of his way, muttering curses all the while. Then his expression softened as he turned to you. “The rules are clear. Don’t make me repeat myself.”

He began.

“Ten.” The sound of his boots against the floor echoed around.

“Nine.” Another step. His eyes locked onto yours like a predator stalking its prey.

“Eight.” Your hands gripped the edge of the chair.

“Seven.” The gun in his hand wasn’t aimed at you yet, but you couldn’t tear your eyes away from it.

“Six.” He was close enough now that you could see the faint smirk playing on his lips.

“Five.” “Wait,” you blurted out.

He paused mid-step, tilting his head. “Wait? That’s not the safe word.” He took another step, closer still. You clenched your jaw, now starting to panic.

He never even gave you a safe word in the first place!

“Four.” He was looming over you now, the barrel of the gun tracing along the edge of the table.

“Three.” “Stop,” you said loudly.

“Two.” The gun was under your chin now, tilting your head up to meet his gaze.

“One.” He smiled, satisfied, as he crouched down to your level, his face mere inches from yours. “You didn’t use the safe word,” he murmured, the gun tracing along your jawline.

“You didn’t give me one!”

“Details,” he rolled his eyes. “But now, as per the rules, of course…” He kneeled down in front of you again, head tilting down. His hands went up to grip both sides of your waist.

“Wait—”

“Shut up.”

For a moment or two, you didn’t feel anything. That was until his tongue licked a striped against your clothed cunt.

“Ack!” You jumped, trying to push him off you, but he wouldn’t budge.

“Like that?” He nuzzled his face into the wetness, making you shiver. “I haven’t even started yet, baby,” he mumbled. Then, he sank his teeth into your clothed thigh.

You let out a loud cry, hoping that someone — anyone — would hear you. But no one did. No one came.

“Quiet now, dolly.” His teeth chewed at your waistband for a few seconds before pulling it down completely. “Up,” he tapped your waist, and you obediently raised your hips. He pried your pants off you.

“Oh,” he let out a disappointed sigh when he saw that your panties were still covering you. “We’ve got to take this off, hm?” He cooed at you again. “Come on, taking it off for me now.”

“What?”

“I said, take it off.”

“How?” You were taken aback.

“Wiggle wiggle,” he smiled like a dork. Then he sat up and kissed your ear. “I’ll help you with the top till then.”

He helped lift your top over your head directly. Once it was off, his lips immediately latched back onto your cheek. “Panties off, please. Before I rip them apart.”

You nodded and fidgeted for a while, lifting your hips up and down and trying to get the fabric off you. But it wouldn’t budge at all.

“Pathetic,” he said, though he looked at you fondly, as if mocking your vulnerability. Tugging a finger under the waistband of your panties, he peeled the soaked cloth away from your skin easily, patting your waist so you’d lift them up to get it off completely. 

You were exposed to him. Naked from top to bottom except for the bra he somehow hadn’t removed yet. You felt the sudden chill of air against your bare pussy. Your nipples pebbled further. He tossed the underwear aside.

His hands slid along your thighs, spreading them wider. “Beautiful.” His fingers tightened. A hand snaked between your legs, cupping the flesh of your thighs easily. “So wet. Already? You should be ashamed.”

You flushed lightly, trying to come up with a retort. But he shut you up immediately. His middle finger had found its way inside you.

“Fuck—” you groaned, and he snickered.

He wiggled his finger within you, grinding it against your inner walls, pressing firmly on that sweet spot while watching as your face contorted in pleasure.

Your body bucked as he added another finger, stretching you wide open. Then another. And another.

He pulled back suddenly, and you whined.

“Why—?”

“No,” he whispered, standing up. His large frame towered over yours, his hands reaching behind your neck to unclasp your bra. “Such nice tits, dolly.” He squeezed them in his rough palms as if grateful to God for his creations. His thumb brushed across your hardening nipple, teasing the peak into a tighter bud, if that was even possible.

Then he lowered his head, capturing one between his lips and suckling deeply. His tongue flicked expertly at your hardened nipple, nipping lightly.

You could see stars.

Suck. Nip. Twist. Fiddle. Suck. Nip. Twist. Fiddle. Suck. Ni—

He moved onto the other one and did the same.

Fuck was he good at his job.

He left trails of kisses on your chest. Both of them were red and swollen now, and you were left cursing his name in your mind.

“I’ve been playing nice all this while, don’t you think? Let’s make it rougher.”

[oconswrld]

(Fem bodied!partner, used they/them for the reader!!.. hihihi)

I neeeeeed... Sergeant John 'Soap' MacTavish with a sensitive partner

I mean sensitive like, their hips buck the moment you start rubbing their clit. They don't make a lot of noise other than heavy breathing, and the occasional squeak of pleasure, but their legs are shaking, and twitching, their back is arching, and they're squirming away from his touch

"What's up, bonnie? Cannae' 'andle it, lass?" Soap says in a mocking voice as he rubs quick circles on their clit with two firm fingers. They only whine, throwing their head back.

Thinking abouttttt.. Captain John Price with a partner who's prone to squirting.

And i mean, stick a few fingers into them, and they're drenching your arms, hands, and-... Oh my fuckin' God, they ruined the bed.

"Fuckin' hell, princess.. You're drenching the sheets, baby" John says in a gruff voice as he keeps fucking those two thick fingers into them. Nothing can stop the brutal pace he set where his partner doesn't even know if his fingers are in, or out- It's their third time squirting tonight, give them a break, Price

My thought train wassss.. Lieutenant Simon 'Ghost' Riley with a partner whose legs aren't reliable after a good sesh

They stand up, trying to go for a pee in hopes to not get an infection when they grip the edge of the beside table, stabilising themselves with their wobbly legs. Their mixed cum trailing down their legs, and the pain from his cock bruising their cervix making a jolt go up their spine.

"Like a newborn deer, 'luvie." Simon chuckles, standing up, still naked as he puts a supporting hand on their hips, guiding them to the bathroom

"Bruised your cervix, did'n i?" He mutters as he opens the bathroom door

Wondering, and fantasizing about Kyle 'Gaz' Garrick with a partner who has difficulties making themselves cum, which results in them seeking out Kyle.

Gosh, they've tried everything. Rubbing, two fingers inside their pussy, but nothing works. They only get that warm tingly feeling, but never the full-blown pleasure throughout their body. They've tried, really. It's frustrating almost.

After a quick text to Kyle, he's on top of them in the next five minutes, ramming his cock into them.

"You can take it.. I know you ken', baby" He rumbles, his voice only being broken by groans, and moans from him. They're on their back, folded in half with their legs over his shoulders, and their knees to their chest. They've already came once, staining the bottom of his grey shirt effectively.

His pants are only pulled down to his mid thighs, while they're fully naked. They babble, fucked out of their mind, with eyebrows furrowed in pleasure, and a throbbing clit still.

(Fuelled by a few cigarettes with my Glo, a bottle of 2 liter lidl brand sugar free coke, and Work by Rihanna.)

Written by your one and only <3

(This is my first time posting smut/COD here. Spare me, guys)

[madelynraemunson]

pass the salt • e.m. smut

DAD’S BEST FRIEND!OLDER!EDDIE x FEM!READER

summary: you’re home from college and staying with your dad for the summer, spending as much time as you possibly can with him…and his hot best friend that you’ve never seen in your life.

authors note: okay have you guys ever seen those text posts like “when you say ‘daddy pass the salt please’ and your father and your man both reach for it” 💀💀 well this is inspired by that concept. also i went overboard and this is a LONG BOI

disclaimers — photo credits to @eddiemunsons-missingnipple 🫶🏼porn with plot, reader’s nickname is “sunshine”, reader has female anatomy, race unspecified, divider: @iluvpooks

NSFW — 18+ obv, porn with plot, daddy kink pls keep scrolling if it’s not ur thing, slight age gap (eddie is mid to late 30s, reader is in her early 20s), corruption kink, size kink, masturbation (m&f), p in v sex (protected), dirty talk, teasing, sexual innuendos, extreme flirting, eddie kinda being a perv, praise kink

The sound of breakfast on the griddle summons you downstairs.

Dad never cooks.

For as long as you can remember, weekends at your dad’s have always consisted of Lucky Charms cereal and powdered donuts. That tradition continued even after you started college.

Oh yeah. Someone is here, alright. Someone Dad desperately wants to impress.

Trailing after the commotion, your fuzzy pink slippers guide you down the wooden steps of your dad’s ‘bachelor pad’ and into the kitchen. And when you near the bottom of the steps, you can make out two distinct voices — one belonging to Dad, another belonging to someone who's identity is obscure.

“God, I fucking missed you, Jeff. Missed everyone so much.”

The smells of pancake batter, cigarette smoke, mint, and petroleum fuel reel you in, but not nearly as much as the sight of the man sitting on the opposite side of your dad. He's built, handsome with wavy brown hair, leather, black denim, twiddling a toothpick between his teeth as he listens to your dad speak with a smile on his face. That is, until you come into sight. It then that his intense focus circles in on you.

Funny. You don’t remember this friend. And something in your gut tells you that you won’t ever be forgetting him after this.

The stranger's grin curls into a wonder-filled smirk. You can feel your knees start to buckle.

“Uh oh. Looks like our shenanigans woke up Sleeping Beauty.”

When you get a closer look at Dad’s friend, you observe his faint brown beard — neatly kept and lightly peppered with some gray — delicious lips, shiny white teeth, and grooves along his laugh lines that would deepen with every theatrical cackle he belted out.

You can't help but freeze in your tracks as him and your dad continue on with their banter, reliving their glory days like it was yesterday. Man. What a damn dreamboat.

Your dad’s eyes light up with glee when he sees you.

“Hey, good morning, Sunshine!” Dad cheers. “Thought you’d never wake up. This is my friend Eddie. We were in that band together in high school. Come say hi.”

"Yeah, come say hi," Eddie agrees. feeding into the obvious tension in the room. "I don't bite."

The stranger laughs at his own comment as soon as he utters it.

There’s a charm — a magic — about Eddie that could only be found in Hollywood or the Big City. But of course, you didn't expect any less from Dad's supposed ‘Rockstar Friend’.

When your parents had you at 17, life went on for Dad’s band Corroded Coffin. And although he missed out on the ‘Sex, Drugs, and Rock&Roll’, Dad insists that tea parties and white picket fences were an ideal trade-off. Because — despite how things ended with Mom — it still meant a life spent with you.

You tell him your name as Eddie offers you his hand to shake. Electricity serges through you when your hand is enveloped by his firm, calloused one. Eddie smiles down at you, his presence all-consuming. It's almost as if he knows it. And as much as you were dying to, you resist the urge to fall into him.

Eddie's no better.

It takes everything in Eddie's power to keep his eyes above your collarbones, reprimanding himself with the utmost tedium. Because heaven knows he'd be TOAST if his best friend found out that Eddie thought that you were absolutely stunning — strutting around the house the way that you do, without a bra underneath that poor excuse of a sleep shirt — a sleep shirt far too tight for your own good. With tight, pajama shorts to match…

Of course, this is all an assumption…Not that he caught wind of it or anything.

“You know…” he mentions. “Your dad has told me SO much about little miss Sunshine.”

“Me, really?” is all you can say behind those fuscia cheeks.

“Really,” Eddie insists. “He never shuts up about you, darling.”

“Hopefully you’ve only heard good things,” you mutter faintly.

And instantly, your dad and Eddie share a laugh.

“Only good things,” Eddie assures you. He nudges your dad playfully.

Your dad doesn’t exactly deny the last part, basically confirming to Eddie that you’ve got a hint of spunk to you. The heat settles at your cheeks as you shy away from your father’s curious friend.

Taking note of how timid you’ve just become, Eddie furrows his brows.

“What — was that an implication that you’re not always good?”

“No comment,” your smile melts into an awkward one.

“Kept me on my toes back then,” your dad reflects with a sigh. “Keeps me on my toes now.”

“You don’t say…” Eddie smirks slightly, gaze panning back over to you.

Eventually your dad leaves you two alone, going into the garage to fetch something that he insists Eddie would like. But little did he know that such thing was already in the room, leaning…reaching into the fridge for some orange juice, not realizing its atmosphere caused your nipples to harden.

Eddie’s eyes proceed to follow you as you strut back to the griddle, flipping some hot cakes over before tending to your messy bedhead.

Eddie probably doesn’t know — or maybe he does, who knows? — that you feel him staring at you. It’s a burning gaze that practically impales you, but you’re too nervous to say anything. You’re better off pretending like it’s something you don’t notice.

You and Eddie continue to help yourselves to breakfast, enjoying the company of each other and your mutual silence. That is, until Eddie speaks up.

“Got some sausage for you if you’d like.”

“I’m sorry?” you sputter, looking up from your food.

Eddie shoots you a weird glance as he holds up some breakfast franks.

“Sausage?” he repeats. “Store was out of beef so I settled for turkey. Hope that’s not a problem.”

“Not at all,” you clear your throat. “I love turkey sausage.”

“Okay, good,” Eddie chuckles, seemingly relieved at how quickly the situation had diffused.

“Cool,” you chuckle with him while taking some links to cook.

The silence returns once more and is replaced by the sizzling of the grill. It’s short lived, however, because soon, the man nearly twice your age speaks again.

“What’d you think I said?” Eddie circles back.

“Nothing, why?”

“You just looked stunned.”

“I just woke up,” you shrug. “My mind’s somewhere else.”

“I can tell,” he smirks. “Get that thing out of the gutter.”

The coming days paved way for some more innocent flirting.

…Like when you make sure to wear the shortest skirt in your closet when running Eddie his afternoon beer in the garage.

“Well don’t you look absolutely darling…” he says as he peers up from his guitar.

“Hehe,” you smirk connivingly. “Thank you!”

“You are so welcome.”

Eddie downs the liquid guilt along with his pride, watching you strut around…the hem of that pleated cotton fabric just barely covering the roundness of your asscheeks. And as you blush a rosy pink when you process his little remarks, Eddie can only clear his throat in arousal, fantasizing about just how badly he wanted to turn your other cheeks that very shade.

…Or when you come downstairs the next day to help Dad manually wash his car.

While he and Eddie are harassing each other with soap and that god-forsaken hose, you decide to join in on all the fun.

“Watch out, Sunshine,” Eddie forewarns. “You’ve just entered the splash zone!”

And with the intention of cooling you off on a hot summer day like this, Eddie teasingly sprays you with said hose, your white shirt becoming transparent when lathered with water. He could see everything. Your erect nipples. Your perky tits bouncing in the sunlight as you jump around in excitement. How glazed your oil-nnuendo’ed skin looked when glimmering in the sun. All as intended.

“You got me,” you surrender yourself to him. “You got me good, Eddie.”

And when you walk away, Eddie mutters slyly to himself.

“Yes, yes I did.”

…And then there’s dessert after dinner.

Eddie watches as you lick your popsicle, his fingers curling at his thighs in arousal as you retract the wrapper before enclosing your lips around the bright pink dessert. And he swears he’s going to blow his pants when he envisions the melted sugar shooting into your mouth with the swiftest hollowing of your cheeks, the quiet suction noise you make with your pursed lips forcing him to adjust the way he’s sitting.

…The final instance takes the cake.

“What’s your major?”

You’re in the home library grazing some of Dad’s old books and vinyls, talking to Eddie while your father gets ready for the day. Meanwhile, Eddie is perched at your dad’s desk, rolling around in his expensive swivel chair and occasionally doing some spins on it to make you laugh.

“History.”

“Sounds boring.”

“You just haven’t found a topic that interests you,” you point out.

“Mm,” is all Eddie says. “Maybe I will eventually.”

Eddie watches as you waltz around in front of him, following your movements with his eyes as you get onto your tippy-toes in order to grab some books on the top shelf.

“Oh my god!” you yelp.

Your plan to entice him seemingly fails when you graze a book that’s halfway off the shelf. It’s already flying off of its platform, headed straight towards Eddie's lap before you can even stop it.

Eddie catches it before any damage can be done, saving Dad’s old campaign book with the hand furthest from you and snaking the other around your waist to prevent you from sinking any further into him.

Phew. Crisis averted.

Your eyes meet again.

“I’m so sorry, Eddie,” you gasp in embarrassment. “That book has a mind of its own.”

“You’re fine,” Eddie laughs. “Can’t defy the laws of gravity. Sometimes it betrays us.”

You feel yourself burning up a fever. Excusing yourself from the room, you leave Dad’s library and make your way over to the kitchen for a glass of water.

But you’re nearly taken aback when you feel tight, calloused hands wrap around your hips, and like a feather it’s like you’re whisked away into the air, and soon your body is pressed up against the wall.

Slam!

Breathing heavily against each other now — chest to chest, lips so unbearably close you can smell the whiskey — Eddie draws you even closer to him. You both study each other intently. It’s like you’re waiting for the other to say something. Eddie does the honors and speaks first.

“I wasn’t born last night, doll. I was also your age at one point.”

———

To his own despair, Eddie touches himself later that night. Facing your room, he strokes his rock hard cock with his lotioned-up hand, running his thumb across the slit of his head, pretending it’s your tongue giving him a little tease like you did the popsicle.

“Fuuuck,” he grunts quietly. “You like when I fuck your throat, baby? Gonna suck me dry with that pretty little mouth of yours?”

You’re playing make-believe just as much. Because at the same time, in your room, you’re a drooling, pathetic mess, riding your wall-mounted toy to oblivion in your bathroom, legs trembling when the thick, veiny piece of silicone slams into the spongy part of your heat, initiating shock-waves all across your body.

“Eddie,” you find yourself blubbering. “EddieEddieEddieEddie…”

You both know it can’t be like this, but that was the mere thrill of it all. And when you both have overcome your peak, just one mere wall apart, the floodgates of guilt outweighs both your arousals the way it comes pouring in.

So, so wrong. But oh, so right.

You’re anticipating…waiting…aching for Eddie to make the next move.

He doesn’t.

“Going to the store again,” Eddie announces. “Hopefully this time they’ll have beef sausage. Need anything?”

Need you, is what you think. But you end up shaking your head, a part of you disappointed that you and Eddie won’t be able to spend some time alone together.

“No,” there’s defeat in your voice.

“Are you sure?” Eddie questions softly.

“Mhm,” you nod.

“Okay,” he gives you a grin, one in the form of a tight-lipped smile. “I’ll be right back. You be good.”

“Ha-ha,” you roll your eyes.

——

Eddie leaves the door of his room open that night. Just a smidge. You end up following the sound of his TV that he’s placed at a low volume, making out that it’s Seinfeld just by Jerry’s voice and the laugh track.

Your heart skips a beat as Eddie laughs along with the show, shaking his head at a stupid joke. But he shifts his focus immediately onto you when he sees you at the doorway.

“Having some alone time tonight?” you ask him.

“Mmm…not by choice,” he responds. “Tuckered your dad out after dinner doing P90X.”

Eddie follows a crazy workout routine. He says that it helps with his stamina, especially when he does crowd work during his stage performances. Your mind can’t help but wonder what else he may be using it for.

You snort. “Yeah. Dad wasn’t what you’d call an athlete in high school.”

Eddie laughs at that too. Both you and him know that.

He then pats the space on his bed beside him. “Wanna come watch with me?”

Your stomach does a series of cartwheels when you process Eddie’s question. You know what’s bound to happen if you follow through. And it seems Eddie knows it too. Even if there wasn’t any sexual tension between you both already, the concept of it all would rub anyone that way.

But you still follow through with it. Just like Eddie knew you would.

“You comfortable?” Eddie asks you, eyeing you endearingly as you squirm around on the bed.

“Yeah,” you breathe.

“Good…” he replies, voice nearly at a strained whisper now.

You two watch the show in silence for a few minutes, exchanging commentary and pleasantries regarding the show every so often. It’s not too long after Eddie pulls a laugh from you that he starts closing up the space between you both, scooting himself closer…and resting his gruff palm over the base of your knee.

You inhale sharply as he does so. And evident by your refusal to pull away, it’s enough of a green light for Eddie to hike up further.

A soft moan escapes your mouth from the back of your flustered throat, but you bite your lip in restraint.

"I'm sorry," you whisper.

"For what?”

You shrug sheepishly as Eddie continues to graze your thigh. Your breathing falters even more.

“Don’t be scared,” Eddie coos.

“I’m not,” you insist.

“Then what’s stopping you from getting on top of me? Hm?”

He’s in between your legs now, the rough material of his denim jeans riding up your sex, teasing your clit with every calculated rub against it.

“And riding my rock hard cock til those pretty legs give out?” Eddie continues. “I see how you’ve been looking at me, doll. It's all over your face how bad you want it.”

“The bed is squeaky,” you answer honestly. “And that headboard is a lost cause.”

Eddie puts the dirty talk on pause, squirming around to assess the guest bed’s squeak factor. When it checks out, he gives you an understanding nod. You giggle.

Eddie wastes no more time. You watch as he grabs one of the pillows on the bed and wedges it between the wall and headboard. He issues you a sly smile.

“Oldest trick in the book.”

You're back to fooling around shortly after, your aching core burning with lust as you pine for him.

“The boys at school ever touch you this good?” Eddie quips rubbing circles around your puffy, needy folds as you hopelessly cling to him out of pleasure.

“No, Eddie.”

“Didn’t think so.”

He continues to tease, gliding his fingers along your slit before slowly inserting two large digits inside of you.

His calculated pumps into your needy pussy are steady, a pace so agonizingly beautiful that it makes you squeal sweet nothings into the crook of his neck.

"Shh, baby," Eddie hushes you. "Your dad's gonna hear us. Gotta be quiet for me, mkay?"

Your hot, messy, and muffled sounds cease as Eddie soothes your quivering lips with his tender ones.

The wet sounds that ricochet and fill the room in tandem is almost enough to send him over. And Eddie is sure to communicate that… with an abrupt curving of his three thick fingers.

Fuck.

Needing him direly now, you tug helplessly at his pants.

“God, Eddie,” you whimper. “Just fuck me already. Please.”

Eddie laughs at the desperation. He hasn’t ravaged you to his fullest extent yet, and you’re already a pooling mess beside him.

“Well since you said please, sweet girl,” Eddie obliges as he starts to undress himself. “Your wish is my command."

You watch Eddie as reaches over into the bedside drawer for a fresh box of condoms. Looks like the sausage links weren't the only things he went to the store for.

“Oh.”

Eddie chuckles at your observation before shrugging. Can you really blame him? You both knew what was coming.

You watch with absolute lust as Eddie slides the piece of rubber over his long, girthy, throbbing cock. He’s bigger than anyone you’ve ever had before, and the snarky, hooded-eye smile as he watches you fawn reveals to you that he knows exactly how to use it.

"On your stomach, babygirl. Will have you all nice and pounded out just like you wanted.”

You situate yourself in prone and spread your legs for Eddie to line himself up against them. He teases his wrapped cock against the entrance of your pussy, and when his soothing countdown is over, your lips part in disposition as you accommodate his ruinous stretch.

A throaty moan spills out of the both of you the moment Eddie snaps his hips in and out of you. Meanwhile, one of his hands lays tauntingly at your stomach, so the prideful man can feel himself wriggling inside you, glazing his shaft with your slick more and more with every pump into your weak cunt.

"Fuck, Eddie... yes..." you mewl. "R-right there, Eddie, please..."

And then it picks up. You can feel Eddie’s hips practically collapse right onto you, his balls slapping against you as he digs further into your body.

"God damn..." the man sighs in disbelief.

He can only beam down at you in awe. You were taking him so good, pussy swallowing him so nice and tight. And when you nestle your ankles between each other to keep him there in prone, the nearly cries out in pleasure, but refrains because he knows your dad is resting — just a thin wall over.

That still doesn’t stop him from going to town though. Practically seeing stars, the broken record of a mouth that belongs to you chants Eddie’s name like it’s all you know. Eddie attempts to keep you contained, offering you his fingers to suck on as he’s railing you dumb.

And when he fucks you through your climax, Eddie continues with his string of lust-filled praises, satisfied at himself that he was able to make you wet enough to soak the mattress.

“Did so good for me, angel,” he praises you as he sucks at your temple. “Always knew you weren’t all that innocent.”

The griddle comes out again on Eddie’s last day. But this time, for a homestyle southern dinner.

You and Eddie were on mashed potatoes and gravy duty at the stove, an ordeal that only opened doors for lots of innuendos on Eddie’s part. Meanwhile, Dad insisted on making the rest, having taken pride in continuing his Mama’s legacy.

“This is amazing, Daddy,” you rave. “I really missed this. Do you mind passing the salt, please?”

And to your horror, you watch as your father and Eddie automatically extend their arms, bumping into one another in the process en route to getting you the salt.

The gentlemen meet each other’s eyes.

“Ohp!” Eddie exclaims, letting out a slight chuckle. “Sorry.”

You try your hardest not to blush. Eddie kicks you from under the table, and softly he oh-so-seductively he mutters,

“I was just tryna help her out.”

[dorothylarouge]

US Presidents as Dril Tweets

George Washington: another day volunteering at the betsy ross museum. everyone keeps asking me if they can fuck the flag. buddy, they wont even let me fuck it

John Adams: "ah boo hoo hoo i want to post Foul comments to content leaders" Fat Chance, Dimwit. I will annihilate you under bulwark of the Law and God.

Thomas Jefferson: Q: If your post was proven by a counsil of wise men to be racist, or bullshit, would you bar it from the record? A: I do not delete my posts

James Madison: (sniffing a crumpled up one dollar bill i found on the floor of a dog kennel) ah.. thats greenbacks baby

James Monroe: for decades i have traversed the unforgiving mountains and rivers of south america, hoping to catch a glimpse of the fabled "ass downloader"

John Quincy Adams: "This Whole Thing Smacks Of Gender," i holler as i overturn my uncle's barbeque grill and turn the 4th of July into the 4th of Shit

Andrew Jackson: handing Faves over to my enemies is FRAUD !! base, contemptible FRAUD!

Martin Van Buren: Food $200

Data $150

Rent $800

Candles $3,600

Utility $150

someone who is good at the economy please help me budget this. my family is dying

William Henry Harrison: (spends all of 7 seconds skimming some blog posts) yep. just as i knew all along. having pnuamonia is good

John Tyler: fuck "jokes". everything i tweet is real. raw insight without the horse shit. no, i will NOT follow trolls. twitter dot com. i live for this

James K. Polk: thhere is no such thing as charisma, and art is fake. the only metrics by which we must determine the worth of a man are Strength and Wisdom

Zachary Taylor: the doctor reveals my blood pressure is 420 over 69. i hoot & holler outta the building while a bunch of losers tell me that im dying

Millard Fillmore: trying to heal..... please donate to my go fund me... $10 will make me less racist... $100 will make me extremely less racist...thank you...

Franklin Pierce: blocked. blocked. blocked. youre all blocked. none of you are free of sin

James Buchanan: #NationalGirlfriendDay please cherish your gal's.. in honor of us, the single Boys who must sacrifice all companionship to #CarryTheBrand...

Abraham Lincoln: unloading an entire belt of ammo at me with a minigun or some such device will now get you "Blocked"

Andrew Johnson: who the fuck is scraeming "LOG OFF" at my house. show yourself, coward. i will never log off

Ulysses S. Grant: i regret being tasked the emotional burden of maintaining the final bastion of morality and Nice manners in this endless ocean of human SHIT

Rutherford B. Hayes: using the toilet when i hear Our national anthem start to play. i do what i must. i stand tall in complete agony; as shit runs down my leg,

James A. Garfield: too much truth in such little time. feeling the heat cominh down to silence me... signing off........ for now

Chester A. Arthur: i WILL wise the fuck up. i WILL super charge my content for 2017. i WILL get blue check mark

Grover Cleveland: the way i see it, people who come on here and submit content that is not up to par, could possibly be considered the "Villains" of this site

Benjamin Harrison: i help every body, im not racist, i keep myself nice, and when i ask for a single re-tweet in return i am told to fuck off, fuck myself, etc

William McKinley: boy oh boy do i love purchasing large amounnts of Fool's Gold. wait a minute... fools gold fucking sucks. this stuff is no good..!! Fuck !!!

Theodore Roosevelt: IF THE ZOO BANS ME FOR HOLLERING AT THE ANIMALS I WILL FACE GOD AND WALK BACKWARDS INTO HELL

William H. Taft: ah.. the perfect Souffle! cant wait to dig in to t(*EVERY PIPE IN MY HOUSE EXPLODES AT THE SAME TIME, COVERING ME IN SHIT AND BOILING WATER*

Woodrow Wilson: the conflicted supersoldier stares over the horizon as he smokes a cigarette. "war is the most fucked up thing ever." he takes a sip of beer

Warren G. Harding: somebody please Bribe me

Calvin Coolidge: aggressively joyless oaf hhere. painfully obnoxious respect demander checkign in. extremely dim witted frowning man looking for pals

Herbert Hoover: it is really quite astonishing that I have yet to win The Lottery, given how good I am at selecting six numbers and saying them out loud

Franklin D. Roosevelt: ive never heard of this “europe” but it sounds like a big bunch of shit to me

Harry Truman: everybody wants to be the guy to write the tweet that solves racism once and for all because it would look good as hell on a resume

Dwight D. Eisenhower: my "F*&k It!! Let's Go Golfin" t-shirt maintains a tenacious stranglehold on my life. after 1,125 days of Golf my body is twisted, deformed

John F. Kennedy: when you do sutuff like... shoot my jaw clean off of my face with a sniper rifle, it mostly reflects poorly on your self

Lyndon B. Johnson: incredibly handsome , charismatic famous boy credited with ending income inequality after saying that slumlords should be called "dumblords"

Richard Nixon: i attribute the complete failure of my brand to the actions of detractors, oor my “trolls”, as it were, as well as my own constant fuckups

Gerald Ford: shutting computer down until the shitty moods & attitudes can fuck off., if you need me ill be on my other computer, sititng 60° to my right

Jimmy Carter: i warnned you all that bad things would happen if you kept letting your wives wear jeans. AND NOW LOOK! the damn gas prices are up again

Ronald Reagan: spend a lot of time thinking about how sometimes even war criminals can be heroes sometimes... Dont like it? Click the unfollow buttobn

George H.W. Bush: just thought off an idea i believe to be bad ass. lets find the address of the leader of isis, and mail him/ her pieces of our SHIT

Bill Clinton: were at the point now, that when i offer to impregnate my girl followers, people assume my motives are sexual. disgusting, grow the fuck up,

George W. Bush: friday night gathering up together a big pile of things i like to respect (flags, crucifixes ,etc) and just roll around in it ,give kisses,

Barack Obama: my IQ has increased 10 points ever since i stopped tollerating people mucking about, on the time line

Donald Trump: THERAPIST: your problem is, that youre perfect, and everyone is jealous of your good posts, and that makes you rightfully upset.

ME: I agree

Joe Biden: I will shut the fuck up , IF , it will restore the Harmony. I will get on my knees like a dog and make that sacrifice, for the sake of Calm

[elisezone]

um i NEED a baby fever felix fic please?? like the whole breeding thing has MY soul

Oh, anon, you get it. You totally get the idea.

𝕱𝖊𝖑𝖎𝖝 𝖈𝖆𝖙𝖙𝖔𝖓 𝖜𝖎𝖙𝖍 𝖇𝖆𝖇𝖞 𝖋𝖊𝖛𝖊𝖗

Warnings: nsfw, breeding

:**:.☆*.:｡:**:.☆*.:｡:**:.☆*.:｡:**:.☆*.:｡:**:.☆*.:｡:**:.

:**:.☆*.:｡:**:.☆*.:｡:**:.☆*.:｡:**:.☆*.:｡:**:.☆*.:｡:**:.

Firstly, I just know Felix wants kids. He’s always imagined one, two at most. He was brought up on the idea that he needed to keep the family name alive, to have a son, an heir. I can imagine Elspeth keeping up this mantra throughout Felix’s life. Telling him it’s what he’s made for, it’s his duty as their son.

He would want to be the first. He would want to have a baby before Venetia (although i doubt she’d ever settle down).

But he would want to do it first. He would make the family proud.

He kept this idea up his whole life, he needed to settle down, marry and have a baby as soon as he could.

He looked all over for the right person, he knew it was you. As soon as he held your hand on the first date, he knew you were the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.

Felix would bring it up with you frequently, little jokes here and there. Late night chats “what would you name our baby?” Type thing. But deep down you could tell it was what he truly desired.

He would confront you just before your last weeks at Oxford, you were about to enter the world.

We would lay down on the foot of your bed, looking up at you lovingly as you read over your notes. A feeling of ease in the air.

“Darling?” He looks up at you, that mischievous look in his eyes you’ve come to associate with lust. “Felix, baby, not right now”. He strokes your leg lovingly, admiring the tan you’d gained from the early summer sun. “No, sweetheart, not that” he laughs.

He looks up at you, grinning, “you know.. you now how we want to be married” he rolls over, gazing at the ceiling as he takes a drag of his long dead cigarette. He waits a beat, seeing if you’d reply. “I’ve been thinking. About our future.”

And that’s where it all began.

It took a long time to convince you, I mean, you were young. You were both very young. Yet you couldn’t see a future without Felix, he was your whole world. You couldn’t imagine marrying anyone else.

From then on, every time he’d fuck you, he’d have intent. He needed to have you, fully have you. He can’t wait to see you stuffed with his cock, it’s all he thinks of throughout the day.

He would hold off having sex sometimes, just to build up the tension. Because he knows that when he wants to cum, he only wants to do it inside of you. Deep within your pussy.

He fucks you hard. Like it’s his last wish on earth to knock up his princess. As he thrusts into you wildly, he imagined how godly you would look with a round, swollen belly. How absolutely delicious you would be, helpless, unable to cope properly without him.

With a hard grip on your hips, Felix fucks himself harshly into you, desperate to breed you fully. To fuck you stupid.

You can feel him falter slightly, his thrusts become erratic. He’s close. You wrap your legs around his waist, pulling him in closer to you.

The thought drives him insane, over the line as he cums with hot ropes into your pussy. He fold over, caging you with his arms. His chest heaving. His body glistening, sweat beading down his chest.

“Fuck. Oh god- babe. You’re mine. Always mine, you always will be”

He throws forwards a few experimental thrusts and lets out a deep moan. “So fucking good for me”

You look so gorgeous, laying beneath him, completely still. Your pretty body twitching with pleasure.

And he refuses to pull out for so long. Making sure he knocks you up. Plugging up your sweet hole with his seed.

And then he realises, he will have to marry you soon too.

[multific]

Love Potion

Mattheo Riddle x Reader

Summary: Mattheo always looked at you in a certain way.

His eyes always followed your every move.

You noticed it very early on just how much attention he was paying to you.

His eyes followed you everywhere.

No matter the place, time or occasion.

Let it be class or breakfast or lunch or dinner.

He always had an eye on you.

And you actually didn’t mind.

Mattheo is a very handsome guy. Even if everyone and even your instincts warned you about him, there was still something.

Something which kept you interested.

You felt a pull towards him.

A pull you never acted on.

So, it was mostly longing looks exchanged between you two, nothing more. 

One evening, you were having dinner with your friends.

Hermione talked about Ron and how stupid he was. Then you grabbed a bonbon and popped it into your mouth.

“Y/N NO!” you heard someone say but it was too late.

Amortentia.

Or as they called it, love potion. 

The entire room smelled like him. Amortentia tends to smell like the person you are in love with, you didn’t even realise. 

You were blind.

The room smelled like smoke, honey and wood.

You wanted to see him, kiss him.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean for you to eat it!” said one of the Hufflepuffs. “I was meant to prank my roommate!” 

While everyone was talking, you were quick to run off into the backyard of the school.

You had a pretty good idea of where to find Mattheo.

And surely enough, you found him by the trees smoking.

“RIDDLE!” you yelled, making him flinch and almost drop his cigarette.

“Y/N?”

“Kiss me! RIGHT NOW!”

“Are you drunk?”

“Just in love, come on.” you ran over to him, almost making him trip as you came in contact with him.

He grabbed you to save you from falling and this is when he noticed your eyes.

“Were you given something?”

“All I feel is looooove.” you said and smiled.

Mattheo noticed Hermione from the corner of his eyes.

“What happened to her?”

“A Hufflepuff gave her Amortentia.” she explained as she grabbed your hand and began to pull you back.

“Love potion? Why?”

“Forget this happened Riddle!” Hermione yelled back at Mattheo as you waved to him.

“Byeeee Matty!” he lifted his hand and gave you a small wave back. He was utterly confused.

—

“I CAN’T BELIEVE I DID THAT!” you yelled into your pillow once the potion wore off. “Why didn’t you stop me?!”

“I tried!” said Hermione.

“I want to die. I’m so embarrassed. At LEAST he was alone! Imagine if I did that in front of the school!”

“Well… on our way back to our rooms… you kinda… just a tiny little bit yelled in front of everyone passing by that Mattheo is yours and you will fight for your true love… kinda.”

“Oh. My. Fucking. God. No.” you shook your head but she nodded. “NO. PLEASE NO.”

“And… maybe… kinda… The Slytherins were also there? Maybe?”

“I am jumping out the window,” you said as you stood up and walked towards the window, Hermione grabbed your hand and pulled you back. “I want to die, please. This is so embarrassing!”

“The thing is that almost everyone like cheered for you. Malfoy even wanted to give you a high-five for being so brave. I thought he was being sarcastic, but he was for real. Then Theodore came up and said ‘Go get him, Tiger’ They were all cheering you on.”

“So, I’m the laughingstock of the entire school. Lovely.”

You fell back into your bed, face into the pillow. How will you face everyone tomorrow?

—

 “Mattheo Riddle! The lucky guy!” said Theodore as he hit Mattheo in the shoulder. “Having one of the prettiest girl scream and declare her love for you. Lucky you!” Mattheo rolled his eyes at his friend.

Although he couldn’t sleep one bit for the entire night, his mind was way too busy.

“It was only a prank.” Mattheo said. It was the only logical explanation.

“Nope. You know Angie? The Hufflepuff girl? Nevermind… Apparently, she made some chocolate for her friend as a prank, but Y/N ended up eating one and it had Amortentia in it.” Mattheo looked at Theodore, trying to see if his friend was lying but he wasn’t.

“And how do you know that?”

“Angie told her friends and I heard it. They didn’t realize I was standing there. But lucky you, having a girlfriend! Don’t fuck it up tho! Or I might steal her.”

“Piss off.” Theodore laughed as they both entered the class.

Mattheo’s eyes immediately locked with yours. You looked scared as you looked away. He could only imagine how you were feeling.

But he was just as confused and embarrassed.

After classes, you wanted nothing more than to run back to your room and hide from everyone.

No one said a thing. But the looks they gave you, said it all.

You just wanted to get out.

You made it to the hallways when someone behind you called your name.

It was Mattheo, your eyes widened as you quickly darted into the girl’s bathroom.

“Y/N, I just want to talk.”

“Look I’m sorry what happened okay?! Please just forget it.”

Then he opened the door and came into the bathroom as you back away and walked into the sinks. 

“This is the girl’s bathroom what are you doing?”

“I need to know if, what you said is true. Did you mean any of it or was it the potion?”

“I-I.” you wanted to lie, you wish you were a better liar. All you could do was listen to your heart hammer in your chest. 

“So it’s true. What you said is all true… you do lo-”

“OKAY now, please, I’m embarrassed enough, I do not need your rejection, Riddle. Please can you just leave me alone?” you wanted to go into a stall and lock yourself for eternity.

“I thought you hated me.” he suddenly said and you looked at him, shocked. “I was watching you and… you always avoided my looks. Okay, not always but many times.”

“I don’t know what to say.”

“Just agree to grab some butterbeer with me. That could be a start.”

“What?” you were so confused.

“I’m asking you on a date.”

“You are asking me on a date?”

“Why is that so hard to believe?” he asked as you turned your body back towards him.

“I thought you didn’t do… dates.” you sounded very nice, you worded it even more nicely.

“I don’t. But with you, I will.”

“So, what? You… like me too? After what I said and did yesterday?”

“It was very cute.”

“Cute? Which part exactly? When I yelled at you to kiss me or when I swore to kill whoever dares to go close to you?”

“Exactly.” he smirked. “I will wait for you, get ready for our date. An hour? Is that enough?”

“Okay. An hour.” he nodded and turned to leave.

You stood there, stunned when a voice behind you made you jump.

“How romantic!”

“Myrtle!”

“You have a date! Go get ready!” she yelled and you listened.

You got ready relatively quickly.

You debated not going, then you decided to give it a try and go.

Then, as you waited by the gates you were prepared for Mattheo not showing up.

Maybe this was his way of repaying you for embarrassing him?

But, he did show up. He did take you out to eat and drink and you did have a good time.

He did walk you back to your dorm and placed a small kiss on your cheek as a goodbye.

He did all that.

And if you only knew it would take a small amount of love potion for you to finally be with him, you would have eaten that piece of chocolate a long time ago. 

Taglist: @fleursirvart @greenarrowhead @thisismysecrethappyplace @sincerelyfan @theoneanna @aestheticsandmarvel @rororo06 @castellandiangelo @destynelseclipsa @spilledinkindumpster@capsiclesdoll @puknow @alwayshave-faith @alex12948 @lxdyred @imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl @anonymoussherlockandmarvelgeek @praline357 @trshngyn @avengers-r-us @violet-19999 @top1bbgloak  @manduse @jacalineiscomingforyou @mandoloriancookie @noname2246

~Masterlist~

ˇAO3ˇ

/YOU DO NOT HAVE PERMISSION TO TRANSLATE OR REUPLOAD ANY OF MY WORKS TO THIS OR OTHER PLATFORMS/

[beansprean]

Finishing a s6 rewatch is always an experience

(ID in alt and under cut)

ID: a supernatural doodle dump. 1a. Waist up of season 1 dean leaning up against the wall outside the motel room door, smoking a cigarette. 1b. Sam suddenly opens up the door and leans out, starting to say "So get this-" In a panic, Dean shoves the entire cigarette into his mouth to hide it. 1c. Full body of Dean with his back turned, one hand on the wall while he hunches over gagging and retching. Sam confusedly pats his back at the farthest distance possible. 2. Waist up of Soulless Sam relaxing with one arm perched on the back of his chair and the other holding up a teeny tiny steaming teacup. He is wearing a flannel over a white tee shirt that says "caution: unmasking". He grins condescendingly at the viewer with one eyebrow raised. His speech bubble says "something incredibly bitchy and uncalled for". 3a. Shoulders up of Dean, colored green, and Crowley, colored red. Crowley instructs, grinning, "Give Bobby Singer a kiss for me." Dean is leaning back away from him with an exhausted expression and only grunts in reply. 3b. Shoulders up of Dean and Sam, who is colored orange, mid-hunt with blood splattered over their faces. Dean has his phone held up between them on speaker phone, from which Crowley is saying "Give Bobby a kiss for me." Dean raises an eyebrow at his phone and Sam just stares at it with mild interest. 3c. Shoulders up of Sam walking toward the viewer, Crowley standing in the background. He calls out with a grin, "Give Bobby a kiss for me." Sam glances back with a frown, perturbed. 3d. Shoulders up of Dean and Crowley, Crowley leaning into frame from the side with a grin and saying, "Oh, and give Bobby a-" Dean interrupts, rolling his eyes toward the sky and throwing his hands up, shouting, "Oh my god! Kiss him yourself!" 3e. Small shoulders up of Crowley nervously pressing his index fingers together and staring at them with big shiny eyes. He mutters sadly, "He won't let me..." A little broken heart floats next to his head. 4. Full body of Castiel, colored blue with a water reflection pattern, standing doing nothing and squinting to the side. He is glowing slightly and has a glowing halo and crown shape floating over his head. Text pointing to him says 'guy who did nothing wrong ever in his life.' /end ID

[ink-and-dagger]

What if Astrid find a pic of young Silco by accident hehhehehehhehehehehhe

Snapshot

A Drink With Me ficlet

870 words || Established relationship || Silco x Astrid (but can be read as gen f!reader) || SFW but suggestive || MDNI

“Oh my Gods.”

“What?”

“Oh. My Gods.”

Time has stripped the photograph between your fingers of its glossy sheen and has left the edges blunt and frayed, but you would recognise those features anywhere; no less sharp nor striking through the faded sepia.

“This is you.”

It had slipped from between two ledgers as you’d perused Silco’s bookshelves – an activity more to entertain your idle hands than a genuine search for reading material. The image itself is simple and candid: A young man, seemingly oblivious to the fact his portrait is being taken, sat at a familiar bar, with eyes downcast toward a spread of papers.

That same man looks up at you now from a very similar spread of papers. “What is?”

“This.” You drift over to his desk and perch on its edge, all the while unable to tear your gaze from the photo in your hands. The pitch dark hair swept back into a low bun. The familiar strays – the same ones that even now will always be the first to escape any styling under the combing of agitated fingers – falling forward into his face, only far longer and thicker than you’re used to. His skin, unblemished and smooth, save for the chronic furrow between his brows – etched there long before time and tragedy ravaged the rest.

Silco hums absently; an indication that he acknowledges your discovery but finds little interest in it. You can imagine the man in the photograph making the exact same noise, were someone to distract him from his paperwork for a reason he deemed benign. You flip the photo over. No date.

“How old are you here?”

Silco exhales through his nose, places his pen down with a pointed clack, and extends his hand wordlessly toward you.

“Hah! Do you think I’m wet behind the ears?” you hold the photograph out of his reach, “You can tell just fine from over there thank you very much.”

He cuts you a scathing glance, before leaning forward in his chair with a foreboding creak to peer more closely at the image. His scarred lips purse slightly in thought.

“Mid–late twenties. I can’t say for certain.”

“You were hot.”

“Were?”

“Were and are,” you coo, reclining backwards over the desk into his space, one elbow pitched on his paperwork to hold your weight whilst you flap the photograph in front of his face, “Can I keep this?”

“For what reason?”

“Dirty ones.”

“Hardly necessary,” Silco says, the very corner of his mouth creasing upwards as he catches your wrist to halt your photo-flapping, “You have access to the real thing.”

“True, true, and you can be sure I’ll continue taking advantage of that.” You grin, shoving your captured, photo-wielding arm a little closer to him in emphasis, “But right now I’m talking about some alone time with this guy.”

Silco scoffs under his breath and releases your wrist. You twist onto your front, weight propped on both elbows as you admire the photograph in your grip. You trace a finger down the slender throat of the man in the photo, over the generous wedge of chest exposed by his open crimson collar.

“D’you think he’d notice me? If I came into that bar?”

“Oh I’m certain he would.”

“Yeah?” You lift your gaze from the man in the photo to the one before you – as equally breathtaking. More so. You catch your lower lip between your teeth. “What line would he use?”

Silco hums, low and thoughtful, leaning forward in his chair, closing in on your space. He picks up his abandoned pen, briefly twirling the implement until it’s poised between his elegant fingers like a cigarette. Nib safely facing his own palm.

“After downing the dregs of his drink for courage... he would have approached you.”

With sensual tenderness, he brushes the barrel of his pen along your cheek, warmed metal against warmer skin. Catching at the curve of your jawline, and tracing over your pulse in a way that makes it fumble a beat.

“Cast his gaze over each of your pretty, pretty features. One by one,” he murmurs, slowly drawing the end of the pen down your jugular, down the slope of your collar bone, to leisurely trail through the cut of your cleavage. The corner of your mouth hooks up. The warmth low in your belly coils a little tighter.

“He would have leaned in close,” Silco whispers, demonstrating just so, “Close enough that you’d almost taste the whiskey on his breath.”

Blunt metal drags a purposeful line up your throat, and your lips part softly as he tilts your face toward his with the barrel of his pen flat and firm beneath your chin.

“And asked you – very nicely – to stop leaning on his paperwork.”

You press your tongue against the inside of your cheek while Silco’s dual eyes sizzle with smug mirth. It’d be unthinkable, really – to forfeit either one for the sake of a matching pair.

You straighten and push off his desk, hips swaying as you saunter over to the bedroom with the photograph in hand.

“Well,” you say, pausing in the threshold and turning to him with a smirk, “If you need us, you know where we’ll be.”

[obsessedwithceleste]

Lessons in Love

(Or why Enzo should be banned from advanced potion making)

Theodore Nott x Ravenclaw Reader

Summary: Ft. Enzo being bad at potions, the Ravenclaw common room door, and more than one accidental love confession.

word count: 3.3k

©️ obsessedwithceleste. all works posted here belong to me and should not be reposted or copied in any way or form.

A deep sigh escapes your lips as you walk purposefully through the empty halls of the castle. You loved Enzo. Really, you did. But how that bastard had managed to squeeze enough O.W.Ls out of his arse to get into advanced potion making was absolutely beyond you.

It’s not that you thought your childhood best friend was dumb per se. You simply thought his talents lay elsewhere. Like in herbology. Or anywhere really where adding a pinch too much powdered moonstone didn’t result in a glittery pink potion exploding all over the front of your robes. This never would have happened of course, if your usual, equally talented, potions partner, Theodore Nott, had actually bothered to show up, but god only knew where that boy had wandered off to.

Walking into classes earlier that day you had been giddy with excitement. While potions may not have been Enzo’s forte, it was most definitely yours and advanced potions was finally giving you the challenge you had been craving. Amortentia, your professor had said, is the strongest love potion in the world, thereby making it exceptionally difficult to brew. You already knew this of course as it had all been detailed in the days readings. Not only would it make someone obsessively in love, but it also had an addictive scent, changing to fit what one was most attracted to. Now that was all well and good until one was covered in it.

Originally, you figured that all would be fine. Enzo profusely apologized, quickly following up with a joke about how “at least you’ll smell nice for once.” But oh how right he’d been. It started with students accidentally bumping into you in the corridor as you went from class to class as they subconsciously leaned in to follow the alluring scent. A minor inconvenience you thought. (Although you did have to choose to ignore that third year almost getting impaled on a statue’s sword because he wasn’t paying attention after you passed.)

But then Cho and Marietta couldn’t stop leaning in to get a whiff of the scent all throughout the start of charms, causing Flitwick to continuously shoot concerned glances at the three of you. You eventually caved, moving quickly and silently to the back of the class room where Enzo was sat with the rest of the Slytherins. As soon as he saw you making your way over, he leaned over, whispering something in Daphne’s ear beside him. She gives you a quick look of knowing pity before moving into the empty seats usually claimed by Theodore and Matteo who were, unsurprisingly, still no where to be found.

“For what it’s worth, I really am sorry,” Enzo mumbles, at least having the decency to look embarrassed as you plop into the seat beside him.

“This is horrible! I did not need to know that Marietta’s amortentia smells like bloody Cormac McLaggen or whatever his name is,” you hiss in response.

Enzo lets out a quiet chuckle, sneaking a quick glance at your house mate.

“Hey,” he whispers after a moment, “What do you smell anyway? You must be going mad having that stuff all over you.”

You shoot a glare at your friend. You had a sinking feeling he already knew, considering he had been poking fun at you for weeks. You shudder remembering all those disgusting kissy faces Enzo had been making at you from across the library just last week. Bloody bastard was fishing for confirmation. Maybe if you ignore him, he’ll simply go away you think to yourself. Enzo however, takes your silence as an admission of guilt, a grin spreading across his face.

“I knew it. So tell me y/n, what does dear Theodore Nott smell like? Cigarette smoke? Hippogriff dung?” He snickers.

“He is my best friend, Lorenzo,” you whisper, giving the boy beside you another withering glare.

Enzo’s face falls at this.

“I’m your best friend.” He grumbles.

“I don’t know why. You’re mean to me,” you reply with exasperation.

He immediately perks up again at this, giving you a slight nudge.

“So I’m right? You do like Theo?” He asks excitedly.

“Enzo, I will avada you, and make it look like an accident,” you hiss in response.

“Come on, y/n, I’m your best friend, you have to tell me these things,” he pouts.

“Oh really? Like how you have to tell me about how you’re probably smelling Daphne’s shampoo right now? Or is it her lavender perfume?” You ask innocently, batting your lashes.

Enzo goes beet red at this, gesturing wildly at you to lower your voice.

“Hush woman! She’s right there!” He hisses.

You say nothing, only giving him a triumphant grin before turning back to Flitwick to try to salvage what few notes you’d been able to take down that lesson.

The final straw occurred during ancient runes when poor, unsuspecting Hermione sat down behind you and asked with a look of bewilderment if you had been showered with Draco’s cologne that morning. Her look of absolute horror only grew as you told her of your distressing situation. You thought she might faint when she realized that Draco had been within earshot and now had a shit eating grin on his face. With a sigh of defeat, you give Hermione an apologetic smile before deciding it was time to turn in the white flag of defeat.

You breathe a heavy sigh of relief as you finally come to a stop outside your common room door. You then frown, realizing you had in fact, made it to your common room door.

“What makes a raven like a writing desk?” The metallic voice of the Ravenclaw common room door asks, springing to life.

This putrid, skanky little-

“You wouldn’t want me to shove either of them up your ars-“

A low whistle catches your attention before you’re able to finish cursing out your common room’s door thoroughly.

“Whoa there feisty, let the eagle be,” Theo’s voice laughs as he steps into view.

The strong scent of roasted coffee beans and smoke that had been burning your nostrils all day hits you once again like a ton of bricks. Giving the eagle another withering glare, you turn your full attention to the looming threat approaching. You would sooner throw yourself off of the astronomy tower than let Theo know that your amortentia smelled like him. Someone had to keep the boy’s bloody ego in check.

“Full offense Theodore, I’ve had a horrendously awful day today, and I really don’t have time for whatever nonsense you’re about to start.” You say with a roll of your eyes as you cross your arms at the boy in front of you.

Theo laughs again, mirroring your movements as he leans against one of the pillars lining the halls.

“Poor principessa. Have a hard day in classes without me?” He asks with a smirk.

You scowl in response. It didn’t help that you had, in fact, missed the brunette’s comforting, albeit annoying, presence all day, but you weren’t about to admit that.

“Now that you mention it, I didn’t even realize you were missing. What snake hole did you slither off to today?” You ask, the lie sliding easily off your lips.

Theo cocks as eyebrow at that but leaves it be.

“Matteo wanted to ditch, had to baby sit. Make sure he didn’t get into too much trouble. You know how it goes,” Theo replied shrugging his shoulders. “And what’s a pretty little witch like yourself doing skiving off class?”

Theo takes another step forward.

“Don’t come closer!” You yelp before you can stop yourself. You had no interest knowing what Theo would smell if he got close enough. He frowns at you however.

“And why not?” He challenges, taking another step towards you. This boy really did not take well to being told what to do.

“I- I smell. Really bad. Had to leave class, I just- ya know, smelled, so bad” You splutter, mentally kicking yourself. Who says that in front of the guy they like? Why were you like this?

Theo’s thick brows shoot up at your declaration before he takes a final large step towards you and leans in, pressing his hand against your forehead before moving it down to feel your cheek.

“Y/n are you ill? Do you need to go see Madam Pomfrey? I can walk you there if you’d like.” He says, any bit of snark his voice previously held long gone.

“I’m fine Theodore, really.” you say, batting his hand away.

“Are you sure?” He asks, looking at you disbelievingly.

He leans in again and takes in a whiff of your scent and you immediately tense, freezing where you are. God damn it. His brows furrow.

“Y/n, you smell perfectly normal, maybe a bit stronger than usual, but definitely not bad.” He says, looking even more confused.

Before you’re able to fully process the words that just came out of Theo’s mouth, Enzo and Pansy come barreling down the hall towards the two of you in a fit of giggles.

“Y/n! y/n, you know I’m sorry, really I am, but if dousing you in amortentia is all it takes to get Draco and Granger to make complete fools of themselves in front of each other, I’d do it again!” Enzo exclaims between breathy laughs. “You haven’t seen ferret boy run past, by chance, by the way have you?

“Sorry, amor-what now?” Theo asks, blinking as he purses his lips.

You look between the three of your friends in alarm, praying no one mentioned anything after Theo had just announced that you smelled perfectly normal to him.

“Oh, you’re going to wish you were there! After you left, Draco was so pleased with himself. Looked like a kid on Christmas. Kept trying to flirt with Hermione until she finally sent a flock of doves to run him out of the classroom! Professor wasn’t too happy bout that one. Let us go early to find the blonde loon,” Enzo says, completely ignoring Theo’s question.

“I’m sorry, amor-WHAT?” Theo asks again, louder this time.

You feel yourself cringe.

“Amortentia.” Pansy snorts. “Do try and keep up Teddy.”

“This is what you get for always skiving off class with Matteo,” Enzo adds, nodding at the boy as if he were his disappointed mother.

“Mhmm. Enzo totally floozied over y/n’s potion this morning. Blew it up all over her and she’s been having people wander up to her to take a sniff all day.” Pansy tells him with a sniff.

Theo blinks again before slowly meeting your eyes as what he said only moments earlier begins to sink in. Pansy, ever the cunning witch, was lightening quick to catch on.

“Speaking of which, I am suddenly so interested in what exactly it is that you smell, dearest Teddy,” Pansy says as her eyes flicker between the two of you, a mischievous grin growing on her face.

Theo scowls at the nickname.

“Campfire.”

“Old parchment.” You say in unison.

Pansy smirks.

“Do you smell that Enzo?” She asks, making a show of sniffing the air around her. “I think I smell- a liar. Or two.”

Enzo only snickers as he eyes the both of you up. He knew exactly what you had been smelling all day and you begin to feel panic rise up in your chest. You send a menacing glare his way, daring him to open his mouth.

“Come on Pans, I don’t think Draco and Granger are the only ones who’ll be chatting up tonight,” he says finally.

Glaring at the pair’s disappearing backs, you once again turn slowly back to the problem at hand.

“Soo,” Theo starts at the same time you blurt out,

“This is entirely your fault.”

Theo’s mouth drops open, and he has the audacity to look offended.

“How do you figure mi amore?” He asks.

“You’re supposed to be my partner in potions, but you weren’t there today, so I had to work with,” you shudder, “Enzo.”

Rolling his eyes at your dramatics and giving you a small smile, Theo lets himself relax, leaning on the wall as he towers over you.

“Enzo isn’t so bad,” he says, slowly bringing a hand up to rest on your waist, gently moving you towards him. You pretend not to notice, taking a small, nervous step forward.

“He singed off Matteo’s eyebrows last year. The year before that, he didn’t realize there was a difference between fire flower and fired flour, and his potion melted through the floor. I heard a Puff call him Slytherin’s Seamus,” you retort. “Do you realize how bad you have to be at something to get made fun of by a Hufflepuff?” He snorts at that, cocking his head in agreement.

“Well I’m sorry alright? I’ll make it up to you.”

“You’ll have to. I have to go in again to remake the potion. Don’t want that bad mark on my grade.”

Theo only hums at this, as you’re finally standing nose to chest with him, forcing you to tilt your head up to still see his face.

“You really do smell nice,” he murmurs, pressing his nose lightly into your hair.

You make a face before nuzzling into his chest to hide the redness growing on your cheeks.

“I’m not talking about this in public. I simply refuse,” you say, trying to melt into him from pure embarrassment.

Theo looks down at you with a devilishly handsome grin before turning back to your long forgotten common room door.

“Hey, open up. She technically answered your little riddle earlier,” he tells the door.

The eagle grumbles something unintelligible as it starts to life again.

“I can always melt you down. I’m sure you’d make a great piss pot,” Theo threatens, going to pull out his wand.

The door swings open rather violently and you’re pretty sure you can hear a rather colorful string of curses come out of the eagle’s beak as you make your way inside. Having been there a thousand times before, Theo easily leads you to your shared, but thankfully empty, dorm room, closing the door behind you.

“You really don’t get along with that eagle, do you principessa?” He asks, throwing his shoes off and making himself comfortable on your bed like he usually did.

“Like you’re any better. You just threatened to turn it into a chamber pot,” you retort, falling easily back into your usual banter. This was fine. This was safe.

Theo only raises a brow at you.

“The blasted door is still mad at me for making a ur mum joke when it asked me if a chicken came before the egg in front of a bunch of second years.” You admit, letting your arms fall to your side.

Theo lets out a loud laugh at that shaking his head and extending his arm for you. You walk carefully towards the bed before hesitantly accepting his invitation. It’s not that cuddling with Theo was something unfamiliar to you, as much as you were hyper aware of the slightly awkward tension between the two of you that wasn’t usually there. You slide your shoes off as well before curling up next to him and laying your head on his chest. The two of you lay in silence and you slowly let your eyelids flutter shut, lost in the feeling of Theo’s chest rising and falling.

“You know. You still haven’t told me what your amortentia smells like,” Theo says, finally breaking the silence as he gently brings his hand up to run his fingers through your hair.

“Take a wild fucking guess,” you murmur, refusing to open your eyes and determined to get further lost in his warm touch.

He only hums in response, continuing to comb his fingers through the soft locks of hair.

“You know when Enzo asked me if I smelled you today, he thought you’d smell like hippogriff dung,” you say eventually.

“Fucking tosser. What did that git smell? Wild lavender?”

“And Daphne’s shampoo.”

You feel Theo snort as if he expected no less of your ever romantic best friend. Silence once again rolls over the both of you as you absentmindedly play with the edge of his shirt, rolling the soft fabric between your fingers nervously. The quiet begins to feel suffocating, so you open your mouth to speak, but Theo beats you to it.

“Champagne. And that perfume you always use. With the little white flowers. Lilies of the valley, right?” Theo says.

You open your eyes to look at him in confusion.

“That’s what you smell like.” He says, carefully running his hand down your spine, sending a shiver through you.

“I smell roasted coffee. And smoke. Not the fire-y kind though. The kind that sticks to your clothes cause you refuse to quit smoking.” You respond, looking into his eyes warily for his reaction.

Theo only smirks in response, a cocky grin spreading across his face.

“Aw mi amore, I’m what you’re most attracted to?” He asks, the teasing bait evident in his voice.

You feel heat rise to your cheeks as Theo gazed intently down at you in his arms.

“Shut up Theodore. You sure know how to ruin a moment,” you say, once again burying your face in a chest.

You feel his chest rumble with laughter before his hand snakes it way up to your chin, tilting your head up and capturing your lips with his. His lips are softer than you imagined as he moves them gently against yours. You let a soft gasp escape and Theo pulls you closer, gripping your waste tightly, and shifting you on top of him, deepening the kiss until you’re both left gasping for air.

“Was that more of what you had in mind amore?” He asks with an innocent smile, looking up at you with what you could only describe as his best baby seal eyes.

“I mean, you were definitely significantly more shirtless when I imagined it, but I can settle.” You joke.

Theo’s eyes darken however, and he lifts you as if you weigh nothing, flipping you over so that he now hovered above you, your back pinned against the bed beneath you. With one swift movement, Theo pulls his shirt up and over his head before lowering himself back down, his chest now pressed against yours.

“Better?”

You can’t help but laugh at the boy’s determination as your eyes shamelessly take in the lean muscle and tanned skin that was current above you.

“Theodore, as much as I enjoy this, you have to put your clothes on. Cho or Marietta could walk in at any time,” you tell him as you begin to make soft circles across his waist line with your thumbs, admiring the boy in front of you.

“Mm. You mouth is saying one thing, but these,” he says, placing his hands over yours, “are saying something else entirely.”

You roll your eyes, pulling your hands out from under his and handing him his discarded shirt.

“One kiss?” He asks, looking at the shirt as if it had mortally offended him.

“One kiss.”

He leans down, once again capturing your lips with his, but with more intensity this time. You feel one of his hands brush your waist as his thumb pushes up under your shirt, the rest of his hand following soon after, gripping tightly at the warm skin beneath. You let out a breathy moan when he flicks his tongue across your bottom lip, and he takes it as an invitation to let his tongue explore the rest of your mouth.

An awkward cough shakes you from the haze and you look up, over Theo’s shoulder to see Cho standing guiltily in the doorway.

“Sorry,” she says, looking literally anywhere but you and the shirtless boy above you. “Bad time?”

You cover your eyes in embarrassment, feeling heat once again rush to your cheeks.

“What did I tell you!” You groan, letting your head fall back onto your mound of pillows. Meanwhile Theo has a much too self satisfied grin across his face.