#and then they're bros for life
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Contrary to popular belief etho and bdubs are not divorced and in this essay I will
#dbhc flavored because. well. look at me#do I seem normal to you#dbhc#dbhc art#art escapades#dbhc etho#dbhc bdubs#bdoubleo100#ethoslab#wild life smp#wild life smp spoilers#wlsmp#wlsmp spoilers#dbhc wlsmp#ethubs#bdubs#etho#bro they’re freaking LAUGHING under those arguments. they obviously care so much for each other and in my Ted talk we’ll be#[and then she talks for 3 hours]#they make me so happy btw. bringing joy to my household on these nights#trafficblr#traffic smp#now. 'divorce' duo folks i hear you#'well of course they're laughing--the cc's don't actually hate each other' you would be correct#but consider this: they're allowed to be whimsical and have play-fights *in character* too#im speaking to a small minority of ethubs fans btw & this is not meant to be pointed LOL im being so unserious and very silly about them ^.#etho and bdubs duo i love you. never stop being weirdos#IM NEVER DRAWING THAT DANG HORSE AGAIN BTW#this is a lie probably <3#dbhc tango
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was in the mood to draw some desperate brotherly comfort
#i wanted to give the impression that they're CLINGING to each other so hungry for that love and comfort#protecting these boys with my life#mario#super mario#super mario bros#smb#mario bros#luigi#mario and luigi#mario & luigi#luigi and mario#luigi mario#smb luigi
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Teyvat's "Most Down Bad" Award Goes to Alhaitham for a Second Year Running
Seeing everyone making fun of Alhaitham for his "stalkerish" tendencies in this event is funny, because I feel like a lot of people missed that "Be literally everywhere Kaveh is" has been Alhaitham's MO from the day Kaveh appeared in the game.
From only grabbing his house keys after Kaveh returned from the desert (he couldn't have had both sets of keys at the end of the Archon Quest unless he went home and got Kaveh's copy) to ditching conversations to get back to his house only after Kaveh came home, to showing up without any warning or explanation in Kaveh's hangout with some ridiculous excuse about hearing his voice through noise-cancelling headphones... Refusing to offer any help in the Temple of Silence story quest other than staying in the library with Kaveh...
Since when does Alhaitham willingly cover anyone else's duties?
But this trend of "Be everywhere Kaveh is" didn't start when they were adults. It was already in place when they were still Akademiya students--and it's a trend that didn't end even when they had their fight.
Even when they weren't speaking, Alhaitham dogged Kaveh's every step through published responses to Kaveh's research articles in academic journals. He insisted on keeping a line of communication between himself and Kaveh open, even if the only way to do that was through very public ideological clashes. Pulling Kaveh's pigtails to get his attention lolol. It's implied that, for at least the few years between their fight and Kaveh moving in, this was the only communication between them--Alhaitham's refusal to allow their connection to entirely fade away. (And the fact that this is revealed in Kaveh's character stories--through his precious journal that records the moments of his life that had the most impact on him--shows just how deeply he values the fact that Alhaitham didn't give up.)
Another relevant side note: Alhaitham never asked Kaveh to give up his half of their house. Knowing half of it belonged to Kaveh, knowing that Kaveh may one day want to reclaim his part of it, knowing that it was listed as theirs, Alhaitham moved into the house and made zero effort to change its ownership. He was completely fine with living in "his and Kaveh's house." The stories suggest it was only months later (or even longer) that Kaveh even noticed he had the house, and he transferred away ownership of his portion without Alhaitham ever asking him (or even seemingly wanting him) to do so.
Please, let that sink in. Alhaitham actively left his grandmother's (presumably comfortable) house to move into "his and Kaveh's house," with no apparent explanation for why, and after doing so, he made no attempt to change that "his and Kaveh's" label. He moved into the house with no promise that Kaveh wouldn't show up on the doorstep the very next day and move in too. It almost feels like another deliberate provocation--I've moved into our house, are you going to come stop me? LBR, if Alhaitham had had his way, Kaveh would have been living there with him from Day 1...
There's also the fact that Kaveh literally can't write on a single message board anywhere in the entire nation of Sumeru without Alhaitham hunting his messages down and responding to them (which absolutely no one else does, by the way).
"NUH-UH!" "UH-HUH." "NUH-UH!"
Alhaitham's own character stories tell us explicitly that one of Alhaitham's defining character traits is "He is never where you need him to be," yet somehow...
Shot, and chaser:
Any time Kaveh is in the slightest bit of need or danger or just wants Alhaitham near, Alhaitham is "coincidentally" exactly where Kaveh needs him to be, whenever Kaveh needs him to be there.
Alhaitham didn't just "happen" to run into Kaveh in Port Ormos, an entirely different city from where he was supposed to be working. He didn't just "happen" to read the same terrible book as Kaveh when we know he otherwise would not waste a moment of his time on poorly-written literature...
He didn't just "happen" to appear when Kaveh was upset and needed a distraction in the House of Daena during Kaveh's hangout. He didn't just "happen" to be sitting around waiting when Kaveh needed answers after the Archon Quest. He didn't just "happen" to find Kaveh's academic publications and every single message board posting and respond to them at length and in public.
The only person for whom Alhaitham just "happens" to be available is Kaveh, over and over and over again--because he is very deliberately making himself a constant presence in Kaveh's life.
Which is exactly what Kaveh's mother told Kaveh he needed.
(Like, out of all things, I think people really underestimate the devs deliberately paralleling the romantic relationship between Kaveh's mother and father with Kaveh and Alhaitham's relationship. If you want to point to one thing that says "These two characters are intentionally queer-coded," it doesn't get any more obvious than this.)
Alhaitham, are you not embarrassed to be this transparent??? 🫣
#genshin impact#haikaveh#kavetham#alhaitham#kaveh#I wasn't even looking for half these screencaps#I was just scrolling through the content and “Oops; there's another one”#imagine thinking it's a “coincidence” to run into someone in a desert that stretches hundreds to thousands of miles#I say this in the most positive way possible#but I think Alhaitham might actually need an intervention#bro is reading PULP FICTION for a man#checking the message boards daily for updates from a dude he already lives with#skipping work to do favors for his favorite#I would say his Kaveh hyper-focus is impacting his quality of life#but Kaveh IS his quality of life so...#do you think the merchants in the market are getting savvy#when they see Alhaitham coming they're just like#“Oh Mister Alhaitham! Mister Kaveh was really admiring this painting the last time he came through--”#how many times do you think Alhaitham's brought home new foods only to never buy them again because Kaveh didn't like them?#we could end world deforestation with Alhaitham's pining alone
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two mimir.. 🤲🏼🤲🏼
#i'm so fucking unwell about them this isn't fair i don't need more tragic yaoi in my life LET ME LIVE FML#they deserved so much better#fuck the “who would top who would bottom” argument bc they're minors we should be asking who would big spoon and little spoon 😔#kinda wild how we had a sleepover with yusuke and almost ryuji but not akechi 🤨#atlus discriminating between boyfriends i see#not even complaining i still think yusuke should've lived with us i started violently sobbing when he said he was moving back into the dorms#that was so homophobic of the devs i was gonna ask him to share the bed next night 💔#ANYWAY#persona 5#p5#goro akechi#ren amamiya#akira kurusu#shuake#akeshu#lotus draws#its two am on a school night i need to sleep bro 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#no school day after tmr bc the juniors and sophmores are taking the sat tho 😼‼️
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Etho "I am not a protector" Slab
#trafficblr#3rd life smp#last life smp#double life smp#limited life smp#secret life smp#ethoslab#bdoubleo100#smallishbeans#tangotek#not gonna tag grian and cleo cause they're so faint#been having this idea marinating for a while#am i a bit cringe for thinking sm about etho's life series character? maybe.#no cause I do not get how people do not associate this man with loyalty bro like#was it cause of last life?? double life IDK#etho is a protector and uh I just felt a little bit insane today#life series#my art
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mori bro now's your chance. his other ex-husband died man he has no one else to go to you should shoot your shot again come on bro
#SORRY#i miss fukumori. don't get me wrong i loved the old man yaoi divorce and old man yaoi widowing we had here#but maybe fukuzawa needs his other evil man back in his life. they're about to enter another custody battle too right?#let's go mori you can goad him into hate sex before it gets bad. i believe in you bro#bungou stray dogs#< half tagging to inflict this on more ppl but mostly tagging to keep us in the trending for longer uwu
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hetadoodles :P
#hetalia#hws america#hws canada#hws russia#hws china#hws japan#hws germany#hws italy#hws england#hws france#hws prussia#hws knights templar#hws teutonic knights#hetalia world stars#hetalia fanart#aph fanart#hetalia axis powers#ヘタリア#HIMARUYA! DROP MORE HWS TEMPLAR CONTENT AND MY LIFE IS YOURS!!#templar being pru's gay awakening anybody??#NA bros are perfectly capable on their own but have one braincell when they're together#arthur kirkland and his 3 hrs of sleep versus the world#francis bonnefoy with his 3 hrs of sleep and still the man functions like a normal person in society#hnnnghnnn....rochu....love.....hngnnghh...#I'm gonna hit the lottery using the axis trio's number wish me luck lads#hello fellow astronomers
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Apropos of nothing, here's my personal headcanon in regards to Mario and Luigi's surname.
Now, it's been generally announced and accepted that the brothers' last name is "Mario," shackling them with the somewhat awkward full names of "Mario Mario" and "Luigi Mario." My take on this is that the family's original last name was "Marianetti" (likely coming from the more common "Marinetti"). This name was changed to "Marionetti" when the boys' grandmother came over from Italy. (A common occurrence in record keeping at immigration at the time. Someone probably had bad handwriting and smudged a pencil stroke somewhere. It happened in my family for sure).
In Brooklyn, their father went by the last name "Marionetti," which ended up shortened to just "Mario," as oftentimes he would be addressed by his surname only. (Think, "Hey, Mario! Get over here!" as opposed to "Hey, Marionetti! Get over here!")
So, the boys are born and get their names. (Their father's middle name was Mario, and so our Mario, being the oldest, inherits his father's middle name as his first name. Luigi's name maybe comes from the middle name of some uncle who is long out of the picture).
So we have "Mario Marionetti" and "Luigi Marionetti." Which, their surname being a mouthful, gets shortened to "Mario" more often than not, just like their father. And thus we end up with "Mario Mario" and "Luigi Mario," culminating in the "Mario Brothers."
#hello there#this is based on zero science and mostly a way for me to explain the weird last name thing#i also came up with middle names for the boys based wholly on how i feel they sound and look written down#mario's middle name would be alphonso and luigi's would be giovanni#but i just looked up the meaning of the names and they're PERFECT for the boys#alphonso being “noble and ready to battle”#and giovanni being “gift from god” which would fit with luigi being the second younger twin#also if these definitions are off forgive me and google hahahaha#but the bros don't use those middle names in real life except to annoy each and embarrass each other#anyway enjoy that little tidbit while i go back to work
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art request/prompt that could be silly: taking the bus or another form of public transit :]
they’re goin to Barney’s to watch a movieeee
#and nothing else. Just watching a movie just a normal movie night between two bros . Two bestfriends yeap#lalalala#I love the trams they're so fucking scary.#barney calhoun#gordon freeman#freehoun#half life#my art#id in alt text
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another thing about the assistant angle is like. being there when bakugou reaches the hero top 40 and branches off with kirishima and sero and denki for their own agency. it's a bit of a mess bc they're barely twenty years old but—you're his only employee. he can barely afford to pay you and he doesn't even really know what you're supposed to do besides answer the phone and he's so emotionally unavailable but you're there, every single day. friendly with his friends. sometimes you bring lunch in for all of them and it's out of your own paycheck and it's not the best but you do it, for them. he lets you make the schedule for two weeks and you fuck it up so bad, but eventually you get it right and you try to be so fair—and that's hard to do, in the pro-hero world. there's nothing fair about a twenty year old man with trauma up to his ears risking his life every night because he doesn't know how to live with just himself, as just a man and not a hero, but goddamn it if you don't try to keep it fair, for every single one of them. you're one of his emergency contacts. you pick them up in the middle of the night when they're all the way across town, in another district police department bc that's where they caught the guy and where they have to turn him in. sometimes you bring their clothes or costumes home and wash them bc they don't get the chance. like it's everything.
#it means so much to me you dont get it alfhduskqlq#you're away from each other for whatever reason and he doesnt even realize how much he depends on you#until he cant#just for that moment#he goes out of the country for an underground mission for two weeks and he's like#i need to call my assistant#for what bro ???? they're not here ?????#and he knows how to do things himself that's not a question here it's just — he's so used to having someone right there#someone that is not kirishima or deku#someone that know the exact scent of deodorant he wears and buys it when they're out bc it's on sale and they know—#—how quickly he goes through it#LIKE. DO YIU GET IT. DO YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.#IT'S SO PERSONAL.#IT'S LIKE I KNOW HOW TO LIVE MY LIFE WITHOUT YOU BUT I'D PREFER NOT TO HAVE TO#✿ thoughts: bakugou
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Love how Ed and Al's story in Fmab is just them trying to have their bodies back while a shitload of political and mystical drama is going on around them. They might be the main characters but the world does not revolve around them and it's just beautiful.
#*roy going through the worst time of his life*#the bros: haha a trip to the north this is actually so fun wooo snowww#okay i get they're also having the worst time of their lives but you know what i mean#fmab#fullmetal alchimist brotherhood#edward elric#alphonse elric
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releasing this from the hj discord dungeon because the public populace was in agreement also i'm chronically offline on tumblr and need to fix that for my chronically online ahh
#hand jumper#webtoon#sayeon lee#she couldn't even enjoy herself once she gets into the decent university because she got sent to the corps sayeon lee my giiirl#SHE'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO BASK IN THE GLORY OF VALEDICTORIAN BECAUSE SHE WAS CONSCRIPTED 😭#bro she's built like those kids in school who dump social interaction the moment exam season comes around#she's built like and earned that first honours fr.#but the corps said nah so she did the one thing those kids do make life even HARDER for themselves#even if in context it's no even hard it's just a matter of survival in the corps so success is the only option lest you die#hj reminds me of kaiji a lot with how they handle this but they're like two different genres but i digress#so she created TWO short term goals that forced her to hammer down her if not reinforce her previous values/beliefs#and if you read fp or wait until this tuesday lemme tell you rn it gets worse#which force her back into her shell and wall she's built#which is fucked up bc juni's wall is coming down when cell 4 didn't die as quick as she'd thought and surpassed her expectations#sayeon try not to be any characters narrative foil/parallel challenge fail 1000% speedrun#this only gets worse in fp and while this was in my drafts since the morning#i will say i literally just had a conversation abt this with my g bigbrainmanyvibes before prematurely leaving for lunch#but i set an alarm to actually post all the memes i made here so imma do this one now then the rest later#JOIN THE HJ DISCORD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT'S FUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND WAY EASIER TO USE!!!!![to me......]#PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#that's it for my obligatory plug for the hj discord you can stop reading now i you haven't already stopped because i make this thing a diar#anw GLORY TO SAYJIN NATION!!!!!!!!!
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Man, Curt's got internalized homophobia so bad that for the first 3 months of their relationship he was convinced Owen was straight before Owen had to scream it in his face that he was gay and then Curt spent another 3 months still calling himself straight to Owen's face and Owen's so sick of it like Curt you 2 are actively fucking EVERY TIME YOU SEE EACH OTHER. AND YOU ARE VERY CLEARLY INTO IT. YOU ARE NOT STRAIGHT SIR STOP LYING TO YOURSELF
internalized homophobia agent curt mega ily
#spies are forever#tin can bros#tin can brothers#owen carvour#agent curt mega#curtwen#curt would be like “im not gay” and owen would be like “curt you're actively sucking my dick”#because they're just like that#idk something about curt just being so sure he's not gay for the longest time is interesting to me#even then i don't think he would've ever called himself gay#i don't think curt's very proud of his sexuality he just sorta accepts it even tho he doesn't want to#owen needs to help him get to a place of coping with it#because it's actively harming their relationship and owen's sick of it#because idk this guy who owen likes and who he's got some amount of a relationship with is convinced that not only he's straight but owen i#too#and curt needs to be convinced that both he and owen aren't straight and that that's ok#and i think that never fully goes away until owen is lost#and it's one of the reasons curt leaves owen#he's been with men other than owen for sure#but i do sometimes wonder if owen did feel disposable to curt#he knew curt got over his attempted heterosexuality#but it never felt as tho he embraced the queer side of him#and that if owen was gone he could just live a normal heterosexual life#but that's not the case and then owen dies and for the first time curt truly accepts his sexuality#because owen being gone only makes things worse#because he adores owen as a person and friend#and was genuinely in love with him#and then never fell in love again
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Aight just a warning I'm pretty new to Tumblr and I'm DEFINITELY new to making AUs so I'm pretty nervous to post anything here but I figured I'd just rip the band-aid off.
FIRST POST HYPE!! :D
Anyways I love Mario and I love Undertale and I NEEDED TO COMBINE THEM LEGALLY so I decided to make an au about it! Dunno if I'm actually going to do anything serious with this, I mostly just want to imagine cute shenanigans with my favorite characters and whatnot, but who knows? Maybe I'll actually try to give this a proper plot
So here's the basic info:
- Mario and Luigi, in the midst of trying to chase down Bowser, who has just kidnapped the princess again, somehow wind up far away from the Mushroom Kingdom and on Mt. Ebott. Where, of course, they fall into the underground.
- All the monsters are pretty much their canon counterparts (at least, my best interpretation of them 💀)
- Mario ends up discovering he has the power to reset/load/save/etc, but Luigi does not. This is because Mario has the most determination to get out of here and save the princess
- Toriel isn't quite as overprotective of them as she would be if they were a literal child like Frisk, but she is still very motherly towards them because it's just kinda who she is. She would probably be concerned about them potentially attacking the monsters so she might make them promise not to hurt anyone. I still don't think she would want them to leave because Asgore would take their souls
- Honestly mostly this is just an excuse for the Mario Bros and the Skelebros to hang out XD
- the thing that is really interesting is that Mario and Luigi are not 1, but 2 humans, which means only one of their souls would be needed to break the barrier. This ends up becoming a real issue but I could see it being resolved in a few ways.
1. one of the bros self sacrifices so the underground goes free (much to the dismay of the other, and also my heart would break haha)
2. They decide to just stay in the underground instead of going home (but they would be pretty sad about it because oh no their kingdom is still in danger
3. ??? IDK tbh
- Since Mario can load saves, he's just constantly in this angsty cycle of trying to keep his bro from getting killed off ;;
- Not sure if Mario could keep the resets secret for long since Flowey would taunt them about it, but he definitely would be pretty closed off about it, especially to Luigi. He does NOT want Luigi to know about the horrible things he's seen
-ofc cut to Luigi being confused as heck as to why Mario seems to already know what's going to happen.
- they have cute sweaters because I said so
- not sure how omega fight would work, but either way Mario would have to fight to save both of them (probably all by himself :c)
- I want them to eventually do true pacifist but IDK how it would work so I'm not gonna think about it too hard rn
- Mario and Undyne having a friendly rivalry about who's the most heroic
- sans trying to convince them they could just stay in the underground and they're like "no we have to save the tiny mushroom people" and he's like "ur just like my bro fr"
- monster speculation about the purpose of mustaches
- It would be kinda funny if they had the firebrand and thunderhand since... Like... Humans aren't supposed to be able to do magic
- "are you sure you're humans? You're so small"
- *confused Italian noises*
Also here's some assorted doodles (I know the quality sucks 😭)
#mario bros#super mario#mario and luigi#mario au#undertale#utdr#undertale au#art#papyrus#sans#sans and papyrus#crossover#the fallen bros au#y'all really like your oddly specific tags don'tcha#angst with a happy ending#not sure what I'm even gonna do with this but IDK sounds fun#i need them in my life#they're so important to me#you don't understand#this way my comfort characters can be together canonically hahahaa#now all we need is to add Cuphead and Mugman to this to complete the trilogy#brotherly bonding#fallen bros#papyrus learns to make spaghetti for real this time#sans still doesn't actually remember them tho he just is aware of them#and probably very confused#silly little guys#flowey#toriel#undyne
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THE BORGIA SIBLINGS + descriptions by their portrayers "I will not have this family at war with itself."
#and yet rodrigo played them like pawns and pit them against each other (unintentionally since he's too blinded by his ambitions lol)#i mean i do love rodrigo but but he fucked his children up with his ambitions and favoritism#especially juan...he set him up to fail by singling him out making him gather his siblings' resentment when all juan wanted was harmony#a cheerful little shit full of bravado until the weight of expectations sucked the life out of him#and then being shunned by his family and having no single peer and no one to hold him or guide his misguided soul#and cesare was boiling with jealousy because of juan's position like bro juan didn't even ask for it??#how about you direct all your anger @ rodrigo instead of direvting them to your desperate little brother ?#ANYWAYS they're all so prettyyyy#juan borgia#lucrezia borgia#cesare borgia#the borgias#theborgiasedit#perioddramaedit#david oakes#the borgia siblings#cinemapix#holliday grainger#dailytvfilmgifs#by jen
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so here's my honest thoughts on dragon age: the veilguard, after ~40 hours of playing. i finished the main quest after having finished all companion quests and major faction quests. just to clear up what content i saw, i played as an elven transmasc rook who is a member of the lords of fortune. he romanced lucanis (although after finishing the game i'm now leaning towards taash). i don't know what's happening in playthroughs that have a different race, gender identity, romance or faction going on.
full spoilers ahead, i mean it. don't read further if you want to avoid them. i don't want complaining about it in my asks.
oh and also, if you're worried because of a few negative reviews online i can comfort you by saying don't give a fuck about a certain big name youtuber who is very much tied to bethesda franchises giving this a negative review. i'll explain why.
i'm starting off with the things i liked
the game looks really pretty. i was worried it wouldn't feel like thedas anymore (with them trying to "focus on northern thedas only" i thought they'd make a clear cut in environmental design. they do and they don't. it's complicated. i'll elaborate on it when talking about the negative stuff). anyway it does. minrathous feels like kirkwall. treviso enchanted me like the winter palace did. the hossberg wetlands reminded me of the hinterlands and a couple other inquisition maps. arlathan looked like... arlathan. the crossroads were different, but familiar. overall i like the way it looks and feels. it's thedas, with a twist. it's a good one, and gives everything a solid but unique feel.
combat is top tier. if you're a hardcore dragon age player you WILL miss the tactical aspect of it for a bit, but i promise you, once you're used to the way the combat works, you will be lapping that shit up. and once you get to ability combos you'll mourn the control you used to have over your companions in battle a bit less
the MAIN quest and its story. i expected worse, way worse. and for a while the game even had me tricked (harr harr you'll get it in a second) it is Really That Much Worse. but holy shit was it good. i walked away satisfied ngl.
your choices have SOLID weight. there's consequences, good AND bad. i got minrathous blighted, ruled over by venatori, and the leader of the shadow dragons ultimately died because of my decisions. i made those at the beginning and throughout the game. he died at the end. DAVRIN died because i didn't expect what i was saying to have that much weight. i thought i was in the clear. he had hero status. well turns out, your choices can still get your companions killed even if you do everything right. i fucking love him. he shouldn't have made that sacrifice just because i told him to do everything it takes once.
the inquisitor, morrigan and dorian being there, surprisingly. there's also negatives to this though, see below.
speaking of companions dying and the inquisitor playing a bigger role: the final quest feels like me2's suicide mission. i was blown away by it and the fact that i got to see the results of all my efforts playing out in front of me.
bioware are NOT trying to redeem solas. they love him as a character yes, but i wasn't forced to see any good in him. he betrays you. he fucked my rook over twice. he fucked him over right back, for good this time (the veil wasn't torn down, i anchored it by binding him to it, he's doomed to uphold it). but solas really lives up to his name as the trickster elven god. rip to all the people who grew really attached to him over the years.
varric died. if you like him that's probably as hard reading it as it was watching it. varric died and the game lies about it until the very end. when the realisation hits, it hurts. but in the very best way.
the amount of care they put into gender expression and trans identities this time around. (i'll add onto this with negative points as well too).
rook feels very much ingrained in the world of thedas. he doesn't ask questions that expose the player to lore through dialogue as if he's stepped foot into thedas for the first time. those conversations feel very solid and good. i hope other faction players got as much joy out of this as i did.
and the things i didn't like and boy there's a lot unfortunately
the music. let's just get that out of the way holy shit. it doesn't feel like it belongs in this universe. it gets so incredibly sci-fi-y at times you'd think it's taken straight from mass effect andromeda. there's not a single song unique to veilguard that i really enjoyed. it broke my immersion, real bad. hearing a busker play the tavern songs from inquisition on a lute right after i killed some venatori with wobbly bass songs playing in the background is just odd. weird tonal shift. don't like it. it's made for people who like flashy light-weight cinema.
tevinter nights is required reading. the podcasts are required listening exercises. the game is so fast paced, especially at the start, that there's no time to introduce you to characters and how much weight their names carry in-game. i would not have known who half these people are if i hadn't skimmed over tevinter nights. i'd care even less about them than i already did. there is no time to get properly attached to them. people will act as if you're talking to a legend personified and you'll be thinking man goddamn which chapter of tevinter night were they in again and what did they do???
there's a weird mismatch with the animations. you'll have beautifully fluid ones, like emmrich casting spells. and then you'll have rook's face animating in the most unnatural manner that's sorta reminiscent of mass effect andromeda's "my face is tired" addison, when their emotions SHOULD be landing with the player rn instead.
i'm not vibing with the art style. sometimes it works. most of the time it doesn't. at points i felt like i was watching tangled.
that also brings me to some of the dialogue. same issue. i am watching frozen. i am watching tangled. someone on the writer's team really likes the adorkable trope. bellara is its victim.
for all the talk about identity, bioware sure doesn't like theirs. the grey warden armor got a redesign again and it just makes them look like a generic army. i hate it lol
in general, i don't like the armor design. the wardrobe/appearances system is fine, but it's just not helping if all the armors are just... kinda bland or downight bad looking? and don't get me started on the lords of fortune armor. that is orientalism personified.
the world states should have been carried over, full stop. i know they said they didn't because they want to separate what happens in the north from what happens in the south, which... i could have lived with that. but the inquisitor sends you letters that keep you up to date on... the south of thedas. you learn that there's a blight again, that people are standing strong but it's difficult, denerim's fallen, the rulers are taking care of it, orlais is fighting and they're successful for a while, etc etc. what's good bioware. i thought we don't care about the south this time around. why are you feeding me so much boring generic information. if you're not gonna show any of it and just write letters, then carrying the world state over should not have been an issue. i have a game dev background. those few lines of code would not have broken your budget or pushed your engine's limits. fuck right off.
this gripe of mine carries over to all the cameos. as a lord of fortune you have to deal with isabela a lot. it's fun. i missed her. you get to go drinking with her and taash and bellara! also my hawke romanced her. she's not mentioned once. they had the opportunity to put a sentence or two about her in there with not a lot of effort, trust me.
when varric dies, all she has is a single line about it. for gold, for fortune, for varric. she only says it if you interact with her on your way to the final push. that's not mandatory.
morrigan is there. kieran isn't. the old god soul that mythal and then solas absorbed? who cares at this point, the gods are dead now and solas is locked away for eternity. i suppose? why is morrigan there. she feels unneeded. i wish they'd just left her down south, at least that way i wouldn't have had to witness her god awful redesign.
dorian at least feels as if he belongs in this story. the shadow dragons are a crucial part to protecting minrathous. he's also weirdly underutilised. isabela and morrigan had more lines than him in my playthrough.
on the topic of romance: bro that was underwhelming. no, genuinely. you know when romance picked up a bit? after the point of no return. i heard maybe two lines of companion banter about it before that. maybe i missed something which i honestly doubt, but romance did not play much of a role in lucanis's storyline. i saved his grandmother as he wished me to (and if you read tevinter nights you know she was rather abusive and their relationship not the healthiest) and told him to focus on his family. a reunified family my rook wasn't even introduced to as a partner at the end of all that.
really, do not buy this game if you're only in it for the romances. others might be better, lucanis's basically gave me nothing. except for an outing (the second coffee date i had with him, it was getting repetitive) all of it played out once i committed to the final quest. the sex scene was a fade to black. annoyingly right after davrin died. if you're looking for well paced and good spice, pick up something else. the sweet talk and the final goodbye were nice though.
for all the good the ever-presence of gender identity does, it is brought up in such a disruptive manner too. it doesn't even play out naturally if you CHOOSE the lines that are meant to be said. hearing the words trans and non-binary in this setting doesn't feel right, and i'm saying this as a trans guy. i think it could have been handled more gracefully. the amount of times my rook went "i'm a MAN" as if he's about to start drumming on his chest and roaring any second now got super nerve-grating. "i'm so glad you're into me... the me who is trans. remember?" just. tell me one trans person who'd talk like that to a person they've grown close with and are trying to romance. this game doesn't handle sexuality well, so all this hey my body might not look like the way you're expecting it to look talk amounts to nothing anyway. i feel about this the way i feel about krem: this is partial exposition to trans experiences... packaged up for cis consumption. the ONLY exception to that is interacting with taash. holy shit was all of that heartwarming and bro did it feel good and natural to talk to them about theirs and rook's gender.
rivain and nevarra are new locations added by veilguard. they're also incredibly underwhelming, small and constricted maps. rivain is a coastline with a few ruins. the hall of valor is a partial ruin nestled into a cave on a beach, with a fighting pit. isabela is there in her skimpy outfit commentating your pit fights. that's it. i'm sorry if you were looking for a bustling pirate cove or whatever. you're not gonna get it. the nevarran crypts btw are a long ass dungeon crawl. that's it.
speaking of maps. i thought people were being dramatic when they said you're gonna be fighting the same enemies on them again and again. i thought they were figure of speeching it. they're not. you WILL fight the same amount of enemies. in the same spot. every time you reload the map. best to stay on a map and clear out the enemies and do as much questing on that map as you can before leaving, because you WILL have to do it all over again once you return.
the three choices i made for my inquisitor didn't matter lol she didn't have to face solas and therefore couldn't stop him at any cost as she had sworn (maybe because my rook tricked solas into binding himself to the veil, there was also an option to fight him. would she have stepped in? who knows). blackwall wasn't mentioned. and either her using a small amount of her forces in the final fight was the reason the civilians of minrathous fared so well..... or it just didn't matter. ultimately i think she had very little impact on anything
#datv#datv spoilers#dragon age: the veilguard#oh wow i hit a limit typing this#anyway to tie this up a bit: the good and bad to the environmental design being that well-known architecture like minrathous and dwarven#ruins look fire and remind me a lot of the previous games#but newly added locations are very... generic... very bland#i was very excited for rivain. i thought we'd get to see ships. not a bunch of ruins and a fighting pit and that's it#and why did i say to ignore a certain guy's review? bro because he was complaining about taash being ace and that taking up their screentim#and them being too up in your face about their identity. he did all this while she/her'ing them constantly#but my man they're trans. nb. not ace.#y'all need to be careful about bad reviews. they're coming from people who are upset about gender identity being handled as a topic in this#game. meanwhile they have no clue what they're even talking about. i don't think matty knows the difference between ace and trans#and neither do the hundreds of people who are one star rating this game currently#i liked this game. it's not top tier. it's not something i'll sink hours and hours and hours of my life into#it has tonal issues and it's moving away from what made dragon age stand out for me#but i do think that it's a genuinely fun play and people who are very invested in dragon age will squeeze joy out of it wherever they can#i had a hard time warming up to the new characters (taash and lucanis being the exception because they have an older bioware air about them#but solas's and varric's story (and don't get me wrong that's what veilguard is about) is GOOD. that is how bioware used to be.#and i wish they'd given us that energy all over the game. that direness. that grit. serious and mature writing.#that consistency is lacking#and whether you're gonna enjoy this game or not is entirely dependant on what you came here for and how well the game delivers on it#i think their weakest points are ironically the thing they advertised the most: the new companions and their writing#you won't find nuanced and good enemies here (i already reblogged something about this. you can go scroll around a bit and catch up on that#really the only thing that had me super invested and emotional was the main quest.#so make of that what you will. ultimately i was more frustrated with the game than i got enjoyment out of it. i was close to just put it#aside for now... until i went to minrathous to end ghila'nain's and elgar'nan's ritual. that all blew me away. still on a high off of it.#anyway yeah that review got cut short by the character limit maybe i'll add more to it tomorrow but rn... i am heading to bed#thanks for coming to my ted talk. also i'm sorry. zevran REALLY isn't in this.#dragon age
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