#this is based on zero science and mostly a way for me to explain the weird last name thing

[legobiwan]

Apropos of nothing, here's my personal headcanon in regards to Mario and Luigi's surname.

Now, it's been generally announced and accepted that the brothers' last name is "Mario," shackling them with the somewhat awkward full names of "Mario Mario" and "Luigi Mario." My take on this is that the family's original last name was "Marianetti" (likely coming from the more common "Marinetti"). This name was changed to "Marionetti" when the boys' grandmother came over from Italy. (A common occurrence in record keeping at immigration at the time. Someone probably had bad handwriting and smudged a pencil stroke somewhere. It happened in my family for sure).

In Brooklyn, their father went by the last name "Marionetti," which ended up shortened to just "Mario," as oftentimes he would be addressed by his surname only. (Think, "Hey, Mario! Get over here!" as opposed to "Hey, Marionetti! Get over here!")

So, the boys are born and get their names. (Their father's middle name was Mario, and so our Mario, being the oldest, inherits his father's middle name as his first name. Luigi's name maybe comes from the middle name of some uncle who is long out of the picture).

So we have "Mario Marionetti" and "Luigi Marionetti." Which, their surname being a mouthful, gets shortened to "Mario" more often than not, just like their father. And thus we end up with "Mario Mario" and "Luigi Mario," culminating in the "Mario Brothers."

[olderthannetfic]

There is something confusing to me about older queer people (which is to say, older than I am, at a relatively young 24 years old) who get mad at original fiction whose worldbuilding involves neopronouns. I'm hoping maybe, ONTF, since you've been in queer spaces a lot longer than I have, you can explain why people have such a negative reaction to the idea.

Basically, I'm working on a novel based that takes white-throated sparrow biology and uses it for building blocks in the same way A/B/O takes (now debunked) wolf science and used it for building blocks. This means there are essentially four genders, the two viewed as more intelligent (brown-haired men and women) and the two viewed as more physical (white-haired men and women). Those two groups then get further divided along the lines of 'women are better at making smart decisions under pressure' and 'men are better at staying home and defending the children, as God intended'.

So it seemed natural to me that this worldwide quaternary system would result in at least some languages having pronoun sets for each of the four options. Some languages in real life have more complicated pronoun systems than that, particularly ones where there's a bunch of formal and informal pronouns. It'd also help the reader keep track of who was a part of what group without my having to turn around and state people's coloration constantly. Yes, these people are human, just as humans in A/B/O are, but society is fundamentally very different. I'm not throwing this in to just complicate things or sound smart or something. It's here because my minoring in Anthropology and majoring in Linguistics taught me language usage reflects the needs and values of a people.

The writing group I'm a part of IRL is mostly queer, mostly 40+, with some cishet women who are also present and active writers. The writing group I'm a part of on DW is mostly DWRPers, in their 30's and up, though no older than 50, and entirely queer. I did not expect these to be groups that were uncomfortable with the idea of "different world, different pronouns".

Instead the reception has ranged from suggestions it's pretentious or overthinking things to requests I reconsider doing it. I've been informed this could be seen as mocking the real life queer people who go by pronouns other than she, he, or they. One person asked if this was went to be me "artificially justifying" nonbinary pronouns and implying I didn't find them valid in the real world. That was an awkward conversation, to say the least.

In reality I wasn't really thinking about real life people who use nonbinary pronouns when I was writing. I was just asking, "Logically, wouldn't it make sense for things to work very differently under a quarternary than it does under a modern European binary?" and following my brain along to its' conclusions as it processed that.

I have gotten zero negative feedback from my queer friends my age regarding this. So obviously, generation and the experiences informing a generational context are key, here. I'm just... still lost on how anyone finds this objectionable.

Help?

--

Ahaha. Oh god.

Well, as a reader of sff in the 90s, the first reaction I have to such things is "IS THERE A CONLANG AND A MAP?" Because, man, the conlang people were some of the most tedious motherfuckers I ever had to deal with in sff spaces.

But broadly... I think the reasons queer people get annoyed about this stuff boil down to a couple of big factors:

Disrespectful children who don't know history

Idiot old people harrumphing about "history" they clearly failed to pay attention to while it was going on in the first place

I personally hate being asked to use new words most of the time. A few bits of fandom slang I'll pick up at once, but I'm usually like "Why would I call it 'spirk'? We already have 'K/S'!" *shakes cane*

If you're American, they're your "roommate", not your "flatmate". No, I don't care how much more precise this foreign term is, you pretentious wanker. (But then I'll use 'wanker' because fandom adopted that years ago...)

So my reaction to being asked to say aloud any pronoun not in very frequent circulation in my offline life is "Urrrgh. Do I have to?"

However, the reality is that people have been messing around with pronouns in English since forever. Do you see 'heo' in Modern English? No, you do not! (Not that it was gender neutral, but the point is that even words as ancient as pronouns have changed quite a bit.) The early internet was full of pronoun stuff in MUDs and the like. You had a choice of a lot more than just three in a bunch of these. People besides men and women have always been in queer communities.

So some people like to cry about neopronouns being actually neo, and they're just wrong.

As for the why do you care part...

There is a nasty habit in contemporary queer spaces to act like gay rights issues are solved. Bisexuality? Passe! etc. Gays and lesbians finally got a little mainstream acceptance only to suddenly be treated like the worst of the establishment by the queer youth. How dare?!?! It's even more egregious with bisexuality where the focus of a bunch of queer activism finally swung that way in the 90s... only to be sharply cut off in the 00s.

There's a real "You already got yours. Where's mine?" vibe to some queer discourse today, and it's directed at people who never got theirs. It shows up in demands for mentorship by people who've barely had a chance to escape a rocky start and figure out who they are themselves. It shows up in yowling about this or that bit of queer media we finally got not being progressive because it's the wrong letter of the acronym.

None of which has a damn thing to do with what pronouns you use in your novel, obviously, but I think some unresolved embattled feelings are why some older queer people are very weird about pronouns.

Some of them are also doing the old person version of throwing the weirdos under the bus to placate the normies. Respectability politics became a term long before the behavior was rife on tumblr.

--

If someone really does find it pretentious, though, and not just as a cover for crying about nonbinary identities being fake, I suspect they just remember how 1970s SFF was full of privileged anthropology students misunderstanding kinship systems from elsewhere in the world and then trying to tell everyone how ~deep~ their extremely contrived novels based on them were.

I'm not saying your writing is like this or that every one of these old sff novels was either, but when I hear "anthropology student", I groan internally. It's an instinctive reaction. It's less about the real fields and more about the bevvy of dilettantes I've run into over the years who'll say they study those things but really want to talk my ear off about Joseph fucking Campbell or the strong form of the Sapir-Whorf hypothesis or something.

--

Those birds are a really cool source of inspiration. Like with A/B/O, the first thing I wonder is how queerness works in that context and how much people like to defy their designated roles.

Omegaverse started on porn logic, so "The one I say tops always tops!" makes sense. When it gets expanded to try to make it make logical sense as a whole world, I often enjoy it, but it can break down quickly if treated as biology is law. I don't know how often the birds veer off of their set patterns, but humans certainly would.

One place where I get a strong "Oh god, this again" feeling from people's plotbunnies is when they're trying to make up a sff society that strikes me as too rigid in a way that real humans aren't. I'll see people using fake wolf biology (not just for horny reasons) but never looking at what's going on with gender in contemporary Thailand or whatever. Like... Le Guin may have made sedoretus feel plausible, but nobody I've ever seen stanning the concept as something fandom should play with has. That's probably because Le Guin was using over-complicated social norms as a thing that breaks down and causes trouble, and "This should be the next A/B/O!" posts are treating it as something that actually works and is a good way to get the pair you don't ship separated while shipping poly.

"It'd also help the reader keep track of who was a part of what group without my having to turn around and state people's coloration constantly."

This, in particular, gives me that cold shudder of recognition from when Homestuck fandom was everywhere and everyone wanted to over-explain those stupid playing card suits and why I should care.

Your concept sounds neat, and I think a set of four pronouns could easily make sense there...

But I also think that if people need the pronouns to keep track of coloration, you haven't set up a system that feels organic enough or haven't given enough cues about how characters are treating each other or why. Use the pronouns too, but just keep that in mind. It's like the "m/m is hard because the pronouns don't tell me whose hand is where" problem. It's almost never actually a pronoun problem.

--

Anyone else have thoughts here?

[multiverse-sya]

Learning about my paratype first

I've posted this on my dreamwidth first. In order to avoid cross posting in the tags on tumblr, I will be utilizing periods to break apart a word. If you see a . in the middle of a word, it's just to hide my post. I really don't want to do it this way, but at the same time, I only want people in alterhuman spaces to see this.

I connected to vul.cans, before discovering my main pro.toss identity. And I now consider vul.cans to be a paratype despite learning about them first.

To explain what I'm talking about, I will need to start at the beginning. About ten years ago, before I knew anything about alterhumanity but knowing already that I specifically felt nonhuman or animal,  I remember getting interested in Star.Trek. And although I vaguely knew what pro.toss were at the time, I didn't look too deeply into them even though my thoughts at the time towards them were: "I find them interesting. I should read more about them in the future", and you can guess what happened once I looked into them more closely and looked past their in game appearances. Although I was always interested in science fiction, I feel that getting into Star.Trek made me look into the genre more closely in general. And as I was watching the movies and series, I began to develop an attachment to vul.cans.  So when I first looked into Sta.rcraft, the knowledge I pulled from to understand the historical events and telepathic abilities were from the vul.cans.

In hindsight, they do have some similarities with pro.toss, even though you'd think of klin.gons first, since we were considered a warrior race as well. After all, one of the quotes from a pro.toss unit in Star.craft 1 based on a klin.gon warcry: it's a good day to die. But I can't clearly make sense of why I developed this connection with vul.cans, and near zero with klin.gons, past the honor components. Maybe I latched to them because of my anxiety at the time, and wanting to be able to control my anxiety (an issue I still struggle with and will always have to). Or my brain truly made some barely remembered connection to them based on what it knew about my life as a pro.toss, which I believe I've had since birth, or both.

I became so interested in their desert world, their culture and history, and I even began to learn the language. I recently went back to trying to learn the vu.lcan language and figured out that I still remember some of the basic grammar and vocabulary rules after nearly an entire decade. I don't know it fluently but I can pick apart grammar and verbs in a sentence, to the point that I consider it my third language. A few years later, I'd go on and try to learn the pro.toss language (called kh.alani), which there are only a few translated phrases on. To make life harder for me, there is apparently a real life kh.alani dictionary that the franchise uses, but it's not public. So I have to use my own imagination. My mind seems to be pulling on what it remembers about learning about vu.lcan and tries to construct it onto the pro.toss language, because it sees a similarity between the two. Now, there isn't anything inherently spiritual about that, it's just interesting that it's where my mind goes to, instead of pulling from the other languages I know much better. Although there are some similarities in word structure and sounds between the two. It could be that my brain also sees similarities and has an easier time remembering both of the languages that way.

I believe the passerby will look like phrases from the same language, but the first one is in kh.alani, the second is in vu.lcan:

"Ki nala atu.m...na adan saiosh." "Ki'sarlal nash-veh gla-tor du."

Despite how human vul.cans look, they are similar to pro.toss in a few ways. Mostly, we are both telepathic and have a focus on the mind and on mental abilities a little bit more than humans generally do. Control, practice, discipline and a focus on martial art skills are all things that they have in common and resonates with me. Vul.cans culturally have a great respect for privacy and although this isn't an entire species specific trait for the pro.toss, it is also important in ner.azim culture, a certain pro.toss group that I will talk about later. We also ironically, have a very similar history of bloodshed. I still recall that my first thought when I went through pro.toss history in the fandom wiki was something like: "Huh. So they went through that vu.lcan thing too", even though the outcome was the EXACT opposite of what the pro.toss had done back then.

To summarize to those who don't know, vul.cans had a very violent period in their history and were close to destroying themselves. But then along came S.urak, who managed to bring peace and discipline by teaching the importance of logic and the control of your emotions. Contrary to what most people believe about vul.cans, they experience emotions at a greater level than humans do, though they are forced to suppress them through practice and discipline. Vul.cans aren't born logical and emotionless, it's learned through practice. Although I personally don't think suppressing them is a healthy long term solution. Now prot.oss on the other claw, also went through a violent period of history where they went back to the stone age from all of the wars they fought with each other. And then came Kh.as, who fills the same literary role as Su.rak. Only instead of bringing logic, he brought a giant crystal that connected all of the pro.toss through an emotional link. There, hiding your emotions and thoughts were very difficult. A group of pro.toss, the nera.zim, severed themself from this link for the sake of privacy and individuality, which is a group I'm a part of.  But to put another wedge into things, there were also a group of vul.cans who despised Su.rak's philosophy and left. Those became the rom.ulans, which I don't really have any strong feelings towards. I think this is because rom.ulans took on an adversarial role throughout the story lines but the ner.azim weren't presented as evil, just as wanting different things.

(I can't be the only one who sees these similarities)

As a note, my memories are often pretty reliable, and go to great lengths to make sure I remember everything correctly and am not applying what I know now to the past. But I'm sure that despite that, there might be additional details that I'm missing such as more of my specific thoughts when I was learning about vul.cans.

As I mentioned once, I picked the name 'Sya' while learning the vul.can language on a forum. And I ironically decided to stick with the name 'Sya' when I started out in the therian community in 2017, completely oblivious about my pro.toss weirdness at that time.

[hahanoiwont]

Okay, hear me out: Sans gets a job as a physics professor on the surface.

I hear uni professors are super lazy.

okay tbh I think Sans would be like. a great and terrible professor. let us explore this idea let's play in this space

like his first year teaching. horrible. He's used to being a cryptic little gremlin and now he has to give away information? all of the time?? that's supposed to be a good thing??? no. He doesn't take it seriously and the students complain about how he's always late, his lectures are so obscure as to be meaningless, and he seems more interested in making fun of them than teaching.

Then I feel like maybe he gets a baby post-grad student who tracks him down from half a country away. They've read his extremely niche paper. It sneaks in clever but not mean-hearted academic mudslinging at the old stagnants in the field. It makes groundbreaking points from a unique perspective. It's positively made of jargon but the jargon is explained concisely and understandably. Baby postgrad has stars in their eyes--they had the exact same idea (it is not the exact same idea. but to their credit it is close and they would have gotten there if they knew more about magic) and he explained it so well. He's a genius, they say. Can they please sit in on one of his courses. any of his courses. They'll be a TA if he promises to read over this paper they've been writing, it's not done yet but they think it could really be something and he's the only person in the field to legitimize their theory...

Sans is not into this at all. He's a little weirded out, honestly. Or, he's trying to be. But also, he does remember being a baby physicist who wanted his physics idol to notice him...so sure, he'll throw them a bone. They can put in all of the work for organizing his classes and grading things and all, and he'll get coffee with them and talk theory once a week.

More fool him. Sans is microdosing on being a professor.

Baby grad student talks in their office hours about their "lecture hour" with prof sans and how he was actually just explaining something to do with... and to Sans's chagrin, people start actually attending his coffee hour. And then they start bringing their homework questions to coffee hour. And then x student has work but can y student record... and then Sans's lessons have just moved to a coffee shop. He is still teaching his class he's just not doing it when he's supposed to. There is an email chain going around with recordings for each lesson, and since Sans has never bothered with taking attendance, his coffee lessons quickly become his main curriculum, while his alleged lesson times are just times when his TA previews the material with the students and Sans makes jokes.

Reviews become mixed. About 6 students swear by his classes and will rearrange their schedules any which way to be in his class next semester. At least a dozen have dropped his class and refuse to take another from him. Baby grad student is actually getting somewhere with their research, which Sans absolutely did not expect. He starts actually using the lab time he was given to work with them on that, and since everyone knows prof sans doesn't care if you walk in or out of his classes, a couple of undergrads filter in to poke at diagrams and try to understand what's being said...boom. lab section of the course. It's not remotely covering the same information as, say, physics 101, but the students are getting experience and gaining confidence in a lab environment. And you're only allowed to skip lab safety if you have a provable ability to evade or survive multiple kinds of explosion and acid burns, so they learn lab safety, too.

I feel like at this point Sans's classes are less actual courses and more really informative interest clubs that students join for credit. You sign up, disregard the course information listed, and if you ask leading questions he might explain a particular theory or branch of pretty much any scientific discipline (since monsters have like 3 scientists, they try to cover everything). This works great until Sans gets annoyed with having to explain calc 2 a million times because someone has obviously failed in educating his undergrads. It's just in the name of efficiency and therefore laziness that Sans proposes a remedial study group.

So. Twice a week, prof Sans will teach physics 101, and once a week a rotating schedule of math, chemistry, or a handful of other subjects on request. If nothing is requested, he will do stand-up or magic tricks for 2 straight hours and then go home. (sometimes students organize and agree to not prompt him for anything so that they can see the show. it's pretty good stand-up and very good magic tricks). Twice a week, his undergrad duckling will cover mostly remedial calc and help with homework for whatever science/math class they can. Baby undergrad is finally hired by the school and no longer paid in food and research tips (some of which are cash but most of which are advice) from Sans. Sans is still allegedly teaching several courses, which he usually covers the material of; but only when cornered, bribed with coffee, or at the expense of one (1) joke. Most of his classes are just study groups under his or their own loose direction.

Strangely, this does seem to help students discover their own interest in the material, since it feels much more based in what they want to learn (because they have to put so much effort into getting their professor to actually teach them). Students take his courses for a laid-back semester, but actually end up learning a lot of diverse skills and shortcuts in a variety of fields. Sans is absolutely not preparing them for any kind of curriculum, but he is creating baby scientists in much the same way as he was taught--here is All of Science, what do you want to learn? We'll fill in the backlog of what you need to know as it comes up.

Magic allows for fascinating demonstrations, not only of how things work, but how it would look if it didn't work, or worked differently. Gravity is a universal favorite because Sans will sometimes let students jump from irresponsible heights and experience zero gravity for a while. Conservation of mass and energy has him summoning things out of thin air. When astronomy comes up, he'll take them out and let them use his own telescope to see exactly how this theory was first observed, or what it looks like when that theory comes into play in such and such a way. So Sans does not get fired for being a horrible professor. It's generally understood that any freshman who took Physics 101 with Professor sans M.S. may not have any idea what they were supposed to learn, but he turns out competent scientists who are willing to testify that he's the best thing that's ever happened to their science education.

Anyway I think Sans would end up as a wonderful professor--despite his best efforts.

[murfeelee]

Hi there, just a question for you if you have the time ♡ I know that you allow people to convert your Cyberpunk items from TS3 to TS4 freely (you are amazing, you know that?). However since I have the game, do you have or know of a tutorial for exporting from my files? The one I found was very general, very not 'beginner friendly'. Else I will just bring some of your stuff over if it's not been done yet, miss having them in my game (and base game TS4 only is limited). Love you ♡

Hi! Yeah, feel free to convert whatever; I think CC TOU/policies are ridiculous, and perversely counterproductive to uploading content publicly on the internet anyway.

Just be warned that a lot of my CC's not that great, cuz C2077 uniquely does not use or include typical diffuse textures, so I had to make many of the textures myself (and that's never a good idea, LOL). Not to mention, I had to shave off 1/2 - 3/4 of the polys on most of the meshes, cuz they're just excessively high. Even after decimating the polys they're still too dang high. It's been a pain in the neck to do anything with this effing game, even when not actually playing it! (－‸ლ)

☽✶•.¸(✶•.¸★¸.•✶´)¸.•✶´☾ ☆«´¨`•°°•´¨`»☆    ☽.¸.•✶(¸.•✶´★`✶•.¸)`✶•.☾

Welcome to Murf’s School of Crap and Crap-Making!

School Motto: Prepare to be tortured! For Science!

Lesson #6B: MORE ON GAME EXTRACTING (PT2)

☽✶•.¸(✶•.¸★¸.•✶´)¸.•✶´☾ ☆«´¨`•°°•´¨`»☆    ☽.¸.•✶(¸.•✶´★`✶•.¸)`✶•.☾

Trust me: extracting from C2077 in general is not very beginner friendly--this is the hardest game I've ever converted from, next to all the Koei Warriors games. Because not only did I have to use EFFING COMMAND LINES again, but the way CDPR arranged the game files (particularly the textures--or lack thereof)--were just saturated in demonic energy.

Mind you, I extracted C2077 back in the EARLY days, within the first weeks of the game's release, way before the Toolkit updated and got a GUI and CDPR released its dev toolkits for modders, so it’s possible I’m giving you outdated information, as the process nowadays might be pretty different from how it was back when I did it.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I used the CP2077 Toolkit here, and followed the steps here.

To be fair, the steps themselves are actually very straightforward. I'm just a lazy, spoiled little ingrate who likes nice clean and simple GUI tools so i can click a button and see all the meshes & textures and go about my frikkin day. But no, instead i have to sit here with EFFING COMMAND LINES and try to figure out WTF these lines of code & text frikkin mean, with zero mesh preview tool to speak of. So I literally have no frikkin idea what anything looks like until I import it into Milkshape/Blender/3DS Max. GRAND. 🤬

(My horoscope told me I needed to get more sleep, and boy they weren't kidding, cuz I'm ornery AF today. 😩 )

But yeah, basically all you have to do is open the CP2077 toolkit .exe, and use the format the steps provide you with whatever the directory is where you installed the game.

As I've explained before in Pt1, all games bundle their files differently, so the trick with extracting is just to figure out what kind of bundle it is, what's in it, how to open it, and how to convert the mesh files into .obj format and the textures into .dds format.

For C2077, most of the files are in typical .bin files, with the meshes (.mesh files) & textures (.xbm files) in content\basegame_4_gamedata.archive | content\basegame_3_nightcity.archive |

So all you have to do is follow the steps and the formats they give you: copy/paste their extraction format code, and the "path to archive" is your installation directory: (e.g.: "archive -e -p "F:\Games\Cyberpunk2077\archive\pc\content\basegame_4_gamedata.archive" -w *.bin" to extract the .mesh files; or "archive -u --uext dds -p F:\Games\Cyberpunk2077\archive\pc\content\basegame_4_gamedata.archive -w *.bin" to extract the .dds files from the Gamedata bin archive).

Then just wait several HOURS (no exaggeration) for each archive to extract. I let mine run overnight for a a day or two--it took bloody frikkin forever.

Once you have all the meshes extracted, the good news is that converting them to .obj files The Sims can read is very easy, cuz all you have to do is use good ole NOESIS, THANK GOD~! ^0^ (Noesis can also open the .xbm texture files, BTW--it’s that clutch; I keep telling y’all.)

The issue with the textures is that C2077 just legit doesn't have many. 💀 It's a feature, not a bug--instead of using diffuse textures (like The Sims' overlay/multiplier diffuse), games like C2077 and Call of Duty instead use materials--kind of like the sample fabric swatches in a textiles shop or tailor, with dozens upon dozens of simple materials & microblends & patterns (a leather print, a metallic sheen, a paisley pattern, etc) shared between all meshes. It’s awful.

So you the extractor/porter/converter are now left with the sad task of patching all these materials together to make a lick of sense on a mesh that might very well use 100 different material files (no joke!) rather than 1 or 2 diffuse textures. And WOE BE UPON YOU if you’re trying to convert it for The Sims 3, where meshes can only use textures on ONE UV Map. The saving grace of TS3′s UV Mapping is that we have CASt, so often we can get away with having plain multipliers, so long as the RGBY Mask allows us to have recolorable channels that do a lot of that heavy lifting for us with patterns & color wheels. For TS2/TS4, however, I imagine more work would need to be done providing swatches, as nothing’s recolorable in those games.

So REJOICE at the pithy handful of actual diffuse textures (mostly decals & posters, etc) that CDPR bothered to grace us with in C2077--they're acts of mercy, I promise you. 🙏

And speaking of UV Maps--C2077′s are upside down. Which is absolutely frikkin lovely; who doesn’t love extra work, seriously. 😒

But yeah, that’s it for extracting, really.

Again, the method I used might be outdated by now, since I did all of mine in December 2020/January 2021, and I haven’t needed to stay up to date with the tools or anything since i already got what I needed out of them. :\

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Know Nothings, conspiratorialism and Pastel Q

As the Qanon prophecies fail and the cult-members struggle to resolve their cognitive dissonance, it's a good time to revisit the history of paranoid, conspiratorial political movements in American history - the "paranoid style" that has dominated since the Revolution.

After all, the very first skirmishes of the US war of independence were based on a conspiracy theory: that the levy on tea was a prelude to a sellout of the colonists to transnational mercantalist interests. US politics have always been conspiratorial.

I found Zachary Karabell's Politico history of the Know Nothing party especially useful, as it tells the story of what happens when surging, paranoid, fractious political movements implode.

https://www.politico.com/news/magazine/2021/01/30/heres-what-happens-to-a-conspiracy-driven-party-463944

The American Party was a secret 19th century organization founded on a conspiracy theory: that Irish immigrants were secretly planning a takeover of the US on behalf of the Pope.

The American Party believed that the Irish were coming for their jobs, and for the very culture that defined America. They circulated rumors about nuns engaging in ritual infanticide and sex-trafficking teen girls. The Qanon parallels are strong.

The American Party (later the Native American Party) started off in the shadows. If anyone asked a member about the organization, they'd say "I know nothing," which is how they came to be called the "Know Nothing Party."

The Know Nothings became a political force thanks to the vacuum left behind by the implosion of the Whig party. The KNs promulgated anti-immigrant laws that promised preferential access to jobs for native-born Americans.

But the KNs were unhinged, riven by infighting, and, after a decade and a half, they basically vanished from the American political landscape, mostly absorbed into the new Republican party.

Their legacy is mixed - on the one hand, the simmering xenophobia expressed as concern for jobs and culture on the right; on the other, the roots of the trade union movement.

For Karabell, the Qanon colonization of the Republican Party is an echo of the rise - and fall - of the Know Nothings, as a mix of conspiratorialism, legitimate anti-corruption grievance, and xenophobia triggers a collapse.

Dismissals of conspiratorial movements - for example, stories that blame Big Tech's "algorithmic radicalization" mind-control rays for conspiracism - treat conspiracies as being rooted in ideas, rather than the material world.

That's a mistake - and it's one that gives conspiracists far too much credit. Conspiracies don't take hold because Alex Jones or Marjorie Taylor Greene are so good at explaining them that they cloud their victims' minds and bypass their critical faculties.

After all, Jones and Greene are fucking idiots, not super-geniuses.

What they tap into - what predicts the rise of conspiracy - is experiencing real conspiracies that hurt you and the people that you love (another word for "real conspiracy" is "corruption").

A really striking essay about this is Snowden Stieber's "This Secret Message Could Change Your Life!" - about evangelical Christianity, wellness culture, conspiratorialism and "pastel Q" (the Instagram-spread, female-coded Qanon flavor).

https://wisetendersnob.medium.com/this-secret-message-could-change-your-life-wellness-culture-jesus-and-qanon-cd576e53c9c8

I was especially struck by the connection between "alt-nutrition" philosophies and conspiratorialism. The thing is, our food advice really has been corrupt: as Gary Tabues wrote about in his 2002 New York Times essay, "What if It's All Been a Big Fat Lie?"

https://www.nytimes.com/2002/07/07/magazine/what-if-it-s-all-been-a-big-fat-lie.html

Taubes describes how the familiar "food pyramid" that advised eating lots and lots of carbohydrates while eliminating fats had been bought-and-paid-for by Big Ag, and how that advice had triggered an obesity epidemic.

Taubes's essay hit me square in the gut. I was a fat kid, with fat grandparents, and a mom who'd fought her weight all her life. As I hit my thirties, I was assiduously eating pasta and bread (with margarine) and other low-fat, high-carb food, and getting fatter and fatter.

After reading Taubes, I switched to eating high-fat, high-protein, near-zero-carb. After a couple weeks, all my cravings disappeared. A year later, I was 100lbs lighter - without any additional exercise, on a diet of steak, cheese, and cream lattes.

I've gained about 50lbs of that back in the intervening years, 20+ of it in the past year. It's a source of real anxiety for me. I've got serious body issues, weight-gain-triggered depression that I manage, even as I exercise daily and count calories.

I couldn't keep up my all-steak diet - too much worry about my ageing body and the roasting planet - but its lesson stuck with me: corporations bought off the science of nutrition and made me miserable for decades and decades.

As Steiber writes, the people who fall into Pastel Q have had similar experiences: switching from the food and lifestyle choices that corporations and governments promote, and experiencing life-changing benefits.

The wellness movement isn't just a way for huxters to sell you supplements: it's also a response to corruption in dietary advice, driven by the commercial priorities of the increasingly monopolized packaged food, fast food, and ag industries.

Likewise, the Q conspiracy about rampant, elite, unaccountable child abuse is rooted in the real child abuse rings inside of "the Roman Catholic Church, Southern Baptists, Independent Baptists, Kundalini Yoga-centered 3HO, Shambhala Buddhism, Boy Scouts of America, college football programs, USA Gymnastics, high school sports, police departments, and US federal agencies."

Q may implode like the Know Nothings, but the corruption that gives conspiracy theories explanatory power will continue to spur new conspiratorial movements.

[philosophicalparadox]

Dark Headcannons for the Demon Bois, part 2.a : Physiological Adaptations and Defense Mechanisms (physical)

I continue this ideology with more horror HC's (kind of) detailing some of the physiology and physical defenses of our boys - HOWEVER there is quite a bit of science invested in this particular post, so there's a little explaining to do first.

Note: I have removed Iblis from the list for the next few rounds because we really dont know anything about her, and I've also removed Egyn because I have zero idea what kind of adaptations he has since no one's ever seen his body. Azazel is floating in kind of the same boat. We seen his clones, but not him, and we have only really seen two of his kin - from that alone its hard to tell. We haven't even seen Beelzebub except in Gehenna, and for all we know they are stuck there. Im basing all this off hypothetical and mythological sources as well as my knowledge of animal and human anatomy.

Onward!

But first! (Yep, scientific Exposition Time Baby! I promise it won't be long) Something that strikes me odd is that all demons seem to be stronger physically than their non possessed counterparts, and so for the sake of not repeating myself where unessessary, we will assume this is due to increased muscular density, as a default which is the same thing that allows much smaller primates to be much stronger than ourselves.

However, be aware that there are MANY factors that influence physical strength alone - efficiency of respiration, bodily waste management (aka, kidney and liver function) and efficiency of metabolic processes (digestive system, pancreas, and again liver). I'll touch on all these things in their own right, but just to let you know, everything is interconnected.

Onward!

Samael

Is, in everyday scenarios, about 7x stronger than the average human. In times of high adrenaline that can shoot up to 10, due to possessing a unique respiratory system, detailed below.

Samael has a physique designed to be an ambush predator, with a body that puts nothing to waste, but he is also built for bursts of speed and agility, both skills vital for his hunting strategy type, detailed in part one, to be effective. Standing out in a crowd may lull prey into a false sense of security, but it also draws a lot of attention from competitors, as well as parasitic predators like Chuchi and Coltars.

Samael is a demon often depicted with avian wings, and for his body to put out the strength it does and be able to at least glide requires an avian-modeled respiratory system. In other words he breathes with lungs, but has additional air sacs in his chest and abdomen to draw as much oxygen from the air as possible. For a demon optimized for bursts of speed and high agility, being able to metabolize large amounts of oxygen very quickly is vital.

More vital still though is having the kidneys and liver to be able to handle it. I suspect he would have a lobed liver akin to a rabbit, and kidneys much like a cat. Technically speaking, if he eats right, he never actually has to drink any water. His kidneys are that efficient.

Now onto the fun one: bones. High density muscles put out huge forces on the bones they are attached to. There are two ways to fix that: make the bone harder and denser, or make the bone softer and flexible with cartilage. Samael does the former. The most efficient way to have denser bones without adding weight is to make them hollow, at the sacrifice of not having much bone marrow. This works out perfectly though, since to metabolize high rates of oxygen you need specialized red blood cells with lots and lots of hemoglobin, and hollow bones allow for the production of just enough of these cells.

Now that the basics are out of the way, Samael has some other unique adaptations, including a ratcheted tendon system in his forearms, like those found in raptors. This gives him a virtually unbreakable, iron-strong grip from which escape is virtually impossible. Combine that with talon-like claws and long fingers that can really dig in, and you're screwed from the word "go".

Making that escape even more impossible is his highly flexible joints, which make twisting out of his grasp before he has a chance to bite damn near unheard of. Remember, it only takes one bite to kill. If he catches you, you're dead already.

As far as defensive abilities go, Samael hasn't got any besides evasion. So much of his body is devoted to being a specialist that there isnt any room for special physical defenses - in fact his hollow bones, while very good at handling internal stresses, are no less brittle than a birds when it comes to some external forces. A sledgehammer to the side of his thigh (impact) would absolutely shatter his femur bone, though he can land on his feet from a great height (compression) and barely bruise.

Lucifer

Is maybe 5x stronger than the average human, on a really good day. He has a bit of muscle, but he is a magic user, not a berserker. On his bad days he can dip below a 1.

Physically he isn't too different from a human mostly, other than having an ultra efficient heart and lungs that are 20% larger to compensate for his increased muscle density.

Except that he has very strange cells. To all appearance his body is mostly human, but one look under the microscope would tell you instantly that something is odd about this duck, because his cells have tiny crystals in them. These crystals are of unknown composition, but they are thought to assist with fluorescence, or the production of the stuff mentioned below.

Also odd about his cells is that they're filled with an almost cellulose like substance instead of normal cytoplasm. Its a bit denser and is THE most heat resistant organic substance on earth. It also makes his cells completely immune to all forms of radiation - this boy could literally survive a nuclear explosion as long as he was in a shelter where he couldn't be impacted by debris or the shockwave. Heat and radiation from it would be like a sunburn at worst.

However, he is not fireproof. While this substance is resistant to heat, it is not resistant to oxidation, so it WILL burn. Not well, and not fast, but it will burn.

Which leads me to the fact that he has some very unique organelles. Multiple types of mitochondria, Golgi bodies and ribosomes help manufacture the weirdness.

Part of that weirdness is of unknown deadliness though. When fully charged up, the light he emits contains dangerous wavelengths, and further study has yet to be done on whether and what types of radiation he may emit. It is known that his dense cytoplasmic substance can hold onto nuclear radiation, but does so very briefly.

As far as defenses go, he does actually have a pretty interesting, but accidental one, for the dense cytoplasmic substance of his cells naturally permeates into his blood plasma. This substance is extremely bitter and even potentially toxic at high enough doses. A mouthful of Lucifer's blood is enough to induce severe nausea, vomiting, cramping of the intestines (colic), and if swallowed, diarrhoea.

The strange substance of his cells also mediates the use of Elixir that is specific to himself. Elixir used for other purposes are rejects of the ones formulated just for him, and are effective at treating a wide variety of things.

On a related but unrelated note, though, the elixir has nasty side effects on humans and demons alike, often triggering the onset of various cancers and cysts, though it's not clear why this happens to some and not others. It is not known why Lucifer is seemingly immune to these side effects, but he could, potentially, be immune to cancer altogether.

Amaimon

Amaimon is a fucking draft horse, with a baseline strength of 9x that of a human. That's somewhere slightly above a pissed off gorilla and/or an attacking tiger, for reference. In high adrenalized mode, that number shoots up to a 12, which is about as high as biology will let anything go, courtesy square cube law.

His muscles are SO dense and heavy, in fact, that he is incapable of floating in water. He also isn't very fast for long distances. He has high stamina at low energy output, and low stamina at high energy output. He can walk for days on end, but in a dead sprint he can't go more than a kilometer at best before his muscles start to rip him apart.

Which leads to : bones. Amaimon takes a very reptilian approach to the issue of having super powerful muscles, and has fibrin and cartilage reinforced bones that bow rather than break. However, these bones have many sharp angles for muscular attachments, and as a result are very poor at resisting torsion (twisting) and high rates of compression. The last thing he wants to do is land on his feet from a great height, for he is likely to fracture his long bones.

But those are not the only bones he has - much like monitor lizards, including komodo dragons, he has ossicones embedded in his skin, forming a chain-mail mesh of steely bone just below the dermis that makes his skin very resistant to slashes and cuts, but very weak to stabbing and thrusting. Cleaving into him wont do much damage, but impaling him on a pike works great.

His organs are strange, made stranger by his blood, which has a pH value of 7.8, far more alkaline than most viruses or bacteria can survive, making him virtually immune to disease. Unfortunately that also impacts the bacteria in his gut, which as a consequence can exist nowhere else on earth.

On the flip side, his stomach secretes acid that is so caustic it dissolves bone in hours, and also destroys even the worst of pathogens. As touched upon before, he can regurgitate this acid onto attackers in self defense, even going so far as to spit it at them from a distance of two meters. It has a patently unpleasant odor too, adding to its defensive quality.

Amaimons claws are semi retractable and grizzly-like, making them excellent tools for digging and prying things apart. They're also really good at ripping people apart, and there is no armor that can really do effective justice except for one: spiky. His skin isn't super resistant to impalement, remember, so the pricklier the better. That is assuming he cant chip away at it. Good luck with that.

Another organ to mention is his tail. It's not exactly prehensile, but it is flexible and very, very powerful. One whack across the midsection could kill a man. In fact his tail is often his first line of defense against attackers; it's so robust and armored that it's almost impossible to injure, and it hits like a truck. Good for offense or defense, or even just lazing around.

Astaroth

Fungi boy has an average strength of just twice that of a human. But when pushed to his limits, he can use hydraulic musculature to increase his strength to 9x that of the average human.

Speaking of which, Astaroth has some weird musculature- or lack thereof. Rather than having ordinary, dense tissue, he instead has a hydraulic system of movement akin to that of a worm or slug. Not only that, but his muscles are not his own - rather they are controlled by slime molds, with which he has a symbiotic relationship. The muscles are very little muscle tissue and a whole lot of mycellial fibers. His body is literally made of fungus, controlled by fungi and microorganisms, and is fed and defended by these things.

He is, in light of this, able to turn his body temperature on or off in any area he needs to at-will, giving his slimy friends the home they need.

He has a perfect mastery over the simple organisms he controls, and can exchange them at will. This combined with the ability to live without body heat means he is completely immune to all but the most severe of environments. As long as he has access to moisture, he can survive and thrive at sub zero temperatures and well into the triple digits. However he can not live without his slimy friends, and so can not endure drought very well. Deserts are the bane of his existence.

When it comes to defenses, Astaroth is nothing but. Toxic spores, all colours of miasma, foul smells, and even sharp needles and thorns when necessary. Nothing with a lick of sense would dare try to eat him, with the exception of microorganisms and parasites thereof - but it's not him they consume, but his symbiotes, which again he can simply discard or exchange as need be.

He is however very slow moving, typically, and doesn't really have a 'flee' or 'fight' response. Instead he freezes, exuding and oozing his more unfriendly companions to deter attack. If this should fail though, however unlikely, he is remarkably fragile and slow to heal, though virtually impossible to kill.

His only real weakness is well established: fire. It is the great sterilizer, though light is also not something he can easily defend against either. Neither are vacuums and immense air pressure. Basically if it's not within the realms of ordinary natural phenomena he has no ability to escape or defend. This gives him an edge against the younger of the Kings, but makes him powerless against the older half.

Whew! That was a lot. This post took FOREVER to make!

Questions and comments are welcome, reading with a grain of salt in mind is recommended.

[toomuchstory-toolittlebrain]

Chapter one: A Near Miss

The rain fell hard and in buckets. It felt like the sky had been storing all its water until this moment and was just now letting it flow. Unfortunately, it chose the worst possible timing.

That’s what Muffin was thinking at least.

It caused her to slip across the split pavement of the once bustling city streets as she ran. The thing causing her to run was a gang of raiders who spotted her searching for food that had been left behind in houses. The rain was slowing them too but not as much as she hoped. She needed to put some space between her and the gang if she wanted to get back to base since it wasn’t exactly built to withstand the might of angry raiders. Thinking as quickly as she could, she grabbed a lamppost and used her momentum to swing around it and down the next street. A few of the raiders got tripped up as they were going too fast to turn that quickly but there were still a decent amount on her tail.

“Damnit!” She hissed, looking around for any other way to slow the rest down.

Unfortunately, the universe had yet to pity her and instead gave her a giant building in the middle of her path. A quick scan of the area revealed that there wasn’t anywhere else to go. She groaned and reached into the sheaths attached to her legs. Really didn’t want to use these. She thought as she removed the two daggers stored in the sheaths. Hanzel had made them for her as she didn’t have much to defend herself with other than a few sparse self defense tricks.

“Nowhere to run now you little nuisance.” One of the raiders said, signalling the rest to block off the road they came from.

“Good thing I’m no longer in the mood to run then.” She returned.

She clicked a button on the handle of one dagger, causing it to extend while pressing another on the other one that formed a shield around it. The raiders seemed to falter a bit at this before remembering that they had the number advantage they had and charging her. She caught the fist of one, twisting it at a painful angle before kicking them in the stomach before quickly raising her shield to block a blow from another raider's hammer. She made a few swipes at some of them, mostly going for the legs to try and slow them down or incapacitate them. Unfortunately, she didn’t get the same treatment and nearly got a limb or two hacked off.

Still outnumbered and running out of energy, she smacked the base of one dagger's handle and shook out a capsule. It hit the ground with a quiet clink and she stomped on it, causing it to erupt in a cloud of yellow tinted gas. She immediately pulled up her mask, not wanting to inhale whatever dangerous gas that had been packed in there before smashing one of the fallen building's windows and jumping in. She made her way through what appeared to have once been an office, jumping flipped tables and other debris. She eventually reached the other side of the building and shattered the window there before climbing through and finally removing her mask.

The rain still fell in droves and chilled Muffin to the bone but she knew she needed to press on if she wanted to warm up. With that reminder, she set off at a quick pace towards the base.

---

It took her a while but she eventually reached their base which was, in the simplest terms, a glorified treehouse.

Nep had begged them to move out of their old shack that Muffin had built and after some hard work, they put the base together using whatever materials they had.

Speaking of the little gremlin…

“HALT STRANGER!” A voice from the treehouse called, “STATE YOUR NAME AND BUSINESS OR FACE IMMEDIATE PUNISHMENT!”

“It’s me Nep!” Muffin called back, “You don’t need to do this every time!”

“AND WHO MAY THIS ‘ME’ BE?”

Muffin let out an exasperated sigh, “Nep I swear if you don’t let down the ladder RIGHT NOW you are in SO much danger when I get up there!”

“Fine, fine!” Nep responded, “Just chill out on the threats!”

With that, a rope ladder descended from a platform up above the trees which Muffin grabbed and began climbing.

She grabbed the top rung and a gloved hand reached out, “Need a hand there?”

“Finally willing to help, I see?” Muffin responded and grabbed the hand.

She was brought up to face their resident scout and mechanic, Nep. No one really knew what their old name was other than Hanzel but neither of them really talked about their life before the apocalypse so it was never brought up. Nep was helpful when it came to getting into small spaces or climbing up to something the others couldn’t get to. They were nimble and quick witted which gave them an advantage when it came to looking for possible dangers.

“Oh no need to be so grumpy,” Nep responded, “you know I just like messing with you.”

“Put a sock in it shorty.” Muffin said.

“Whatever mom.” They said.

Muffin sighed, “I thought we all agreed to pretend those code names never happened…”

“I don’t remember agreeing to anything.”

Muffin couldn’t help the annoyed groan that escaped her, “I can’t believe I put up with you people.”

“You can ponder your reasons for living in a treehouse with two scientists and a gremlin later, right now you need to get out of those clothes and warm up.” Nep said, shoving Muffin into the treehouse.

“Sitting in front of the fire for a few hours doesn’t sound too bad right now…” Muffin mused, allowing herself to be pushed into their base.

Right as the door opened, it was slammed shut, surprising the two stuck outside.

“The treehouse is currently closed for repairs, come back later!” Someone called from inside before yelping, followed by a loud crash.

“HANZEL WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO?!” Nep shouted, banging on the door, “And open this door! We’re freezing out here!”

“WORKING ON IT!” Hanzel yelled and a few dull thuds were heard before everything fell silent.

After a moment, the door swung open, revealing a very disheveled man.

“Sorry for the delay, “He said, “Millicent and I were just testing out a new invention.”

“How much did you break this time?” Muffin asked.

“Depends on what you consider broken.” He said, gesturing for them to come in.

The inside was a disaster. Broken glass and screws littered the wood floors. Amongst the mess was Millicent, scrambling to pick everything up.

“Before you say anything, I blame Hanzel!” She said.

“HEY!” Said scientist cried indignantly.

They began bickering and Muffin couldn’t help but chuckle slightly. Hanzel and Millicent were the smartest of their group. Eccentric, but certainly smart. Hanzel liked to create devices for the other three and Millicent was drawn more towards chemical related science. They got into a lot of fights but always made up quickly. It was a cycle for them really, get into a fight, explain themselves, and help each other finish some half baked plan as an apology. Currently, they seemed to have gone from apology right back to fighting.

“Knock it off you two.” Muffin cut in before they got too angry, “We can clean it up later, right now we can just have some dinner and ignore the monster storm going on outside.”

“Speaking of outside,” Millicent said, her argument with Hanzel quickly forgotten, “did you happen to find anything?”

Muffin shook her head, “No, raiders got to me before I could find anything. It was a nightmare to get them off my tail but the stuff you guys gave me definitely came in handy.”

“Bummer,” Nep said, “welp, let’s see what we’ve got for dinner tonight.”

Along with being the scout and mechanic, Nep was also the most adept at cooking. Whenever the other three tried to make anything it either came out mushy or burnt. They poked around the fridge a bit before coming out with some meat Muffin salvaged from someone else’s campsite and some random vegetables.

“Soup it is!” They declared and got to work.

“While they do that, I’m gonna go shower and get out of these soaked clothes.” Muffin said, “Honestly, I could almost skip the shower and just stand outside for a couple minutes.”

She walked off towards her room and left the other three to do as they pleased. Hanzel and Millicent began their argument again and Nep resigned to getting dinner prepared. It was honestly quite calm considering their circumstances. In some ways, they all got lucky. In others, their luck failed them. For example, both Hanzel and Nep were essentially ground zero for the infection and they both had the proof. A small portion of Nep’s right side was visibly infected while Hanzel’s leg used to be in a similar state. Unfortunately, his got too bad too fast he lost the leg.

Thankfully however, he managed to fashion a prosthetic with Millicent’s help. It wasn’t anything fancy at first but over time, he made it more effective and surprisingly useful. The two learned to manage the infection in their own ways, one of which being a formula Millicent cooked up that helped make the virus dormant as long as it was taken regularly. Millicent and Muffin didn’t get out unscathed either though. Muffin has more scars than she can count, most of which being from fights with raiders and the occasional wild animal. Millicent has a multitude of chemical burns from experiments gone wrong and an unfortunate encounter with a raider that got ahold of some of her chemicals.

But despite all these problems, they all managed to make due with what they had. It wasn’t an easy life, but it could be harder as well. So they took care of each other and made sure that they would always be there for one another.

[vendeavendea]

How Entrapta Has Become My All Time Favourite Autistic Representation in Media: Long Version

Just so you know what to expect, this is more of a very long and boring personal post and less of a character analysis. By "very long", I mean "very long". Also, half of it was written at night when I was supposed to be sleeping (like, right now), so some parts might not even make sense. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Just days before I started to watch She-Ra, I answered a question in a writer group where someone asked what are the do's and don'ts of writing an autistic character. I've been told a couple of times in my life that I can’t be autistic based on the fact that I'm not really interested in or good at science, so I think special interests of autistic people are something that definitely has to be presented better in media. So I advised this person to make their character have a special interest that's NOT related to science, technology, space or computers, because it's a very common misconception that people on the autism spectrum are always into these stuff, and there are so many autistic fictional characters based on this stereotype that I feel like we absolutely don't need any more.

And then I saw Entrapta.

I didn't know she's canonically autistic until a much later episode, but it didn't surprise me when I was told she is, because my autism radar went off like a hundred times while watching System Failure and all her other season 1 appearances (so did my ADHD radar, by the way, but as far as I know, this hasn't been confirmed by the creators, so it's just my headcanon). And she looked like the purple ponytails princess version of the autism stereotype that I didn’t want to see any more of. The genius who is into space and robots, knows nothing about human relationships and keeps driving everyone nuts with her long and impossible-to-follow scientific monologues. Also cute and funny, yeah, but still, as someone on the spectrum who is super artistic and has nothing to do with science stuff, my first reaction was "dang, not this shit again." Just for once in my life, I wanted to see an autistic representation that's not just that typical weird tech-lover but a character that's at least a tiny bit more like me. Seeing her only in her first episode, little did I know that Entrapta's character has an incredible depth and her whole arc was going to be hair-raisingly personal to me (I know I'm not funny, but pun intended).

First, let’s talk about robots, because we can't talk about Entrapta without talking about robots. Entrapta builds robots just for fun, because technology is her thing, but there's actually a lot more behind this. Starting from as early as her debute episode, we see through the whole series that she creates robots with different designs, abilities, personalities, very similar to real people, as a sort of substitute for the human (or whatever species) company she'd wish to have. She even gives them names. She programs them to like being around her, to understand her, something that she hasn't really experienced from real people, which is sad enough on its own, but even sadder if we consider that she actually has human staff working at her fortress. She pretty literally makes friends, and she does it with the help of her special interest. And this totally reminds me of my primary school years when I had zero real friends and used my special interest, which was writing fictional stories and creating worlds/universes/languages in my head, to make up imaginary characters that could be my "friends" so that I wouldn't be that lonely.

Then, her interactions with other characters, especially with Hordak. Entrapta consoling Hordak in Huntara is a very powerful scene to me, not only what she says, but also how she says it. When Hordak starts venting about how he is a failure and all, Entrapta's first immediate response is to provide a practical solution, to design an armor for him, and comforting him with words is only a secondary action. She's helping in her own way, with technology, because that's what she's the best at, but she also wants to make sure he understands that fixing imperfections isn't always the solution, embracing them is. I also love how it's hinted with the "loved" crystal that Entrapta's love language may be acts of service (and probably quality time as well), which is another thing we have in common. And there's another thing in that scene I found very relatable: that part when she stops consoling him and starts to talk about herself being a failure instead. In real life, most people would read that in a negative way. I've been in many situations where I've tried doing something similar to people who were venting to me, and normally, they're like "ew, I'm the one complaining now, stop making it about you." But Hordak's reaction is different, all he does is try to tell her she's not a failure before she shushes him, then he just listens. He understands what Entrapta means by saying all those things about herself isn't "hey, look, my life is also horrible, so I get to complain, too" but rather "I feel you, we're the same". For a person who thinks and acts as differently from average people as Entrapta does, connecting with someone through similar experiences and feelings is a huge thing, and this is so relatable to me that I cried like a baby while watching that scene. Also, kudos to Christine Woods for making Entrapta's monologue sound so factual and casual. It really gives the impression of someone who is fully aware of her own strengths and weaknesses and accepts herself as a whole with all her flaws. The way she lists all the things that make her feel like a failure right after saying "imperfection is beautiful" is just... wow. But seriously, this whole "imperfection is beautiful" thing in general is such a cliché that it's not even supposed to work on me, but hell it does, because it's so well-presented that it's actually one of the most powerful moments of the whole series. Entrapta giving me self-acceptance lessons is all I've ever needed in my life (Hordak probably agrees, lol).

Speaking of self-acceptance, I also love how Beast Island shows that it's a long and difficult process with its ups and downs instead of just a door you walk through once in your life and then stay on the other side forever. Even if I accept and love myself the way I am, it's still totally normal to have low points with thoughts like "I'm not suited for friendship" or "everyone leaves me behind". And it's very nice and uplifting to have someone's love and support when I'm in a bad mood with stuff like this on my mind, but personally, I often find it easier to deal with if I have something related to any of my special interests around that I can focus my thoughts on. My "we flew here on an ancient First Ones ship, do you wanna see it?" would be something like "do you wanna create some characters and then write the shit out of them?" and before this show I've never actually realised how neurodiverse it is to use a hobby or interest for self-care like this. The "definitely the ship" part called me out so hard, and I just adore how the writers were able put so much meaning into a single joke line.

Back to interactions, there's also something painfully relatable in the way the other princesses treat Entrapta. Even in the beginning in No Princess Left Behind, but mostly in season 4 and 5. In most cases, Entrapta is only considered to be worthy enough to not be left behind in situations when her skills are useful. Other characters "liking" her isn't really about herself as a person but her tech knowledge. Just like when you go to school and the only reason your classmates want to make friends with you is because you always do your homework and let others copy it, or you're good at explaining stuff and are willing to help people getting prepared for tests/exams. When I was in grammar school, my classmates ignored me or mocked me for liking animation and comics, but every now and then they did the bare minimum of treating me like a human being and expected me to do their arts homework in return, because I was the only one in my class who was good at arts. When I studied linguistics at the uni, I was really into phonology and historical linguistics, and those were the compulsory subjects most of the other students were struggling with, so many people wanted to hang out with me just to make sure they could get my notes before the exams. The same people kept calling me nerd and making fun of me behind my back. I also had a few genuine friends, which I'm grateful for, but I still know what it feels like to be needed only for a specific skill while not being noticed and respected as a person, and Launch portraits this experience in a very clever way. It's so amazing to see how the princesses realise who Entrapta really is and start to treat her as someone who just thinks differently instead of someone who's a deliberate bad person. They finally get to see that she's not just an unwary tech nerd, but also a determined, caring and loyal friend who gives others so much love in her own geeky way and deserves love, too. But I shouldn't even be surprised, I mean, we're talking about a show that teaches us "you worth more than what you can give to other people," and it's great how this message applies to other characters as well, not only to Adora. And the best part is that this whole conflict is not presented as something black and white, it's not like Entrapta is the poor misunderstood autistic person and the princesses are the evil allistic bad guys who mistreat her. It's simply a miscommunication between neurotypical and neurodivergent individuals, and while the other princesses get to understand that they hurt Entrapta by their actions and that they should be more respectful of her, Entrapta also realises that she's made mistakes and hurt people, becomes aware of her own bad habits and makes efforts to get rid of them in order to save Glimmer. Plus I also love the faint implication that most of the princesses never really, genuinely, 100% make friends with Entrapta even after this scene, because sometimes people just don't resonate with each other enough to become close friends, but they learn to accept her differences and treat her with respect, nonetheless. This episode is so full of realistic interactions and character development it blows my mind every time I rewatch it.

I could just go on and on about all those tiny relatable details such as "I've waited years for someone to ask me about my theories!" I think this was the line that first made me fall in love with Entrapta's character. I mean, if someone from the crew wrote this line, that means they might know the feeling, too, so I'm not the only dork who feels this way every time someone asks me a question about my hyperfixations. And it's just so reassuring. Entrapta has many lines of the kind, they're not even important plotwise, but still super relatable and validating.

Now that we're here, and I know that I probably should have said this at the beginning of the post, but I'm too lazy to rewrite the first paragraph accordingly, I'd like to note that these are all my own interpretations and reflections on Entrapta's character based on my own experiences. This whole thing is totally personal, and I don't want anyone to think that this is how Entrapta is supposed to be seen by the whole fandom. So yeah, that's pretty much it for now.

[venomasides]

Ghostlights | Day 32

Something for my originalverse, based on a dream I had. 

In our travels on the Outskirts, we’ve been watched. 

Not by any party that genuinely concerns me. Most living things in this place either loudly make themselves known or shriek and scurry for dark confines as quickly as their legs (Sometimes gastropodic feet) can carry them. The closer you get to the Steppes, the more lifeless and desolate it becomes. 

Or so you’d think. There are things out here, they just aren’t alive. At least I don’t think so. They- these things aren’t alive in the traditional sense. 

There are lights at the corners of our vision. When you look, they disappear. These ones are more formless, blinking in and out of existence as they please. All things considered, they could probably be figments of my imagination, but the fact that Espen’s horse keeps whining at ‘nothing’ says otherwise. 

The lights are the cowardly ones, but others are bolder. 

One particular anomaly frequently manifests at nightfall. They remind me of old Earth stories in the Archives, tales of frightened farmers who believed the local wolf population to be that of shapeshifting witches. For a lack of better description, the bolder anomalies are like wolves, too large to be dogs. Their ‘fur’, comprised of waning and waxing waves of blackness, is thick, with bluish lights interweaved. 

They don’t hunt. Their existence is not a physical one, as the surfaces they touch, even heaps of ash and dust, show no signs of a former presence. By all means, the residents of New Victoriam would consider them to be ghosts or lost souls. 

I guess that could be one way to explain it. To my understanding, these beings are fragments of what Aeon-El is: Nonphysical entities which exist as echoes of what was once biological, reduced to a form of raw energy and unexplained consciousness. 

The wolves are mostly made of light and energy matter. They are destroyed by bursts of moonlight which occasionally shine through the pillowing ash clouds of the Steppes. For the sake of simplicity, I’m choosing to call them Ghostlight Wolves, as ghostlights of the earth were similarly destroyed by the presence of another light. 

I would not consider them conscious were it not for their goal-oriented behavior. They trail behind living beings, managing a delicate balance of clinging to shadows and keeping sights on their targets. Nothing has ever come of being stalked by these ethereal canids, though their packs grow in number as they zero in on living beings. I counted at least fifty one night. They refuse to come any closer then 10 meters, and will make a hasty retreat if their targets start towards them. 

If Victoriam has never been destroyed, it is undoubtable that the ghostlight wolves would not exist. Yet, if the endless supply of sharp minds and research tools were still here, there is also no doubt that the science behind their existence would be explained away in a minimum of hours. 

Yet, as it stands, I can’t explain their presence or motivations.. Neither can the others. To us, they are ghosts of an old world, the last remaining pieces of a tragedy that the known universe has likely forgotten. There’s no telling how long they’ve been around, or how long they’ll stay, or even if light truly destroys them. 

Maybe its better that way. 

For all the ways Aeon-El has neutered life on Dayside, some things are better left unknown.

[restapesta]

Spencer Reid / One Shots (1) - Doctor, Agent, Professor

A Spencer Reid fan fiction (one shot) that takes place a couple of months after the series finale:

The BAU team was well aware of the fact that Spencer was teaching when he wasn't working the cases, and one of the things they had been dying to do was witness it themselves. So, one day, when they had no cases and a lot of free time, they decided to "sneak in" to one of his lectures.

A near-death experience made Spencer Reid rethink most of his life's choices, if not all of them. After two weeks of pondering over his life, both professional and social, while recovering from his injury, he had concluded that Maeve was absolutely right. Perhaps it wasn't Maeve exactly, but rather his subconscious mind just taking the form of his late girlfriend, but she - or it - was right nevertheless - he needed to do what made him happy.

Spencer wasn't ready to leave the team yet. It was his home, and he loved his job too much to just pack up and give it up for good. The thought made him cringe - being a profiler was something he loved, so it was only natural he continued to do it. The danger would probably never disappear, but at least he wouldn't feel empty inside.

But, being a part of the BAU wasn't the only thing that brought joy to his life. During the time he spent in the hospital, stuck with the nurses and his messed up brain, he realized his passions lay elsewhere, as well. It wasn't only being in the FBI that gave him purpose. He even said it himself - he loved many things - jello, books, fiddling with his pen, learning. And he most certainly, above all, loved teaching.

The reason he started working as a professor in the FBI academy was anything but a happy one - he was forced to do it. Barnes had placed him as a full-time professor, taking him off the team. Although he hated it at first - being stuck teaching instead of saving lives and helping his friends - he grew to love it. It was a thrill, being able to share his knowledge with young students who share the same passion for profiling, crime, and helping people like he did at that age. It was something he was meant to do, Spencer supposed. What would all this knowledge do him good if he didn't pass it on?

The decision to become a professor and a BAU's consultant was a tactical one, but it was also a decision that made Spencer happy. He enjoyed being able to teach, and with it have more time off, as well as being able to help with cases and stay an FBI agent. His time was split between classes and cases, and he tried to organize it as best as he could. He would join the team on as many cases as he could but would also attempt to hold as many classes as he was physically able to, all while attempting to keep his sanity. It was working out so far.

The team had a few rough cases in the past month and Spencer was itching to get away from it all, just for a little bit. It was just his luck that the BAU had some downtime this week and that he was able to spend some time away from the crime scenes and focus more on his social life and other jobs.

It was the first class Spencer had been able to hold in the past month, so he spent some time choosing the topic and preparing for it. He wanted to talk about behavioral analysis, a subject he had only slightly touched upon. He hadn't felt the class was ready for it yet, but, based on everything he had taught them so far, he was certain that it was only fitting for them to finally receive a lecture on how to take a deep dive into the minds of the most vicious killers through their victims. He was fairly excited about it.

The class was pouring in, filling up the seats of the auditorium, leaving only a few of them empty. At first, the classes had only a dozen or more students, but now, it was rare for the auditorium not to be full. And Spencer was extremely happy that only a handful of the students were auditing, unlike at the beginning of his teaching career.

He rarely surveyed the faces in the crowd - he felt uncomfortable doing so, mostly because of some of the looks he would receive from the female - and sometimes male - students. He felt it was just better to keep his eyes unfocused. He trusted his mind would be able to pinpoint unusual behavior.

For a few moments, he waited for the students to settle down. Then, checking his watch to make sure it was the right time, he took a deep breath and began.

The group of friends, colleagues, and teammates had been planning this for a very long time. It was only convenient for them to have very little work this week and be able to finally make their plans a reality.

The planning began a month after Reid had committed himself to teaching. He was still a bit loopy from his injury, but as always, the genius was ready to get back into the game. But, from what the team was able to deduce, he was gone almost as much as he was there. Everyone knew he was only a phone call away, but as an essential member of the BAU, and as the one who was there almost always, it was weird seeing him away.

What was even weirder was seeing that the awkward, antisocial doctor was spending his time away teaching in front of a group of very judgmental teenagers and students in their early twenties. They needed to witness it.

And so, the team piled up along with the other young men and women, seating themselves in the far back of the classroom. They wanted to remain inconspicuous, as not to put pressure on Reid, but, by the looks of it, he didn't even notice.

Tara turned in her seat to look at Emily who was getting something out of her bag. "What is that?" Her voice was muffled by the sounds of backpacks being placed on chairs and notebooks being taken out.

Emily smiled slightly. "Popcorn,"  

Luke cast a weird look towards his Unit chief and friend. "Popcorn?"

Emily pointed at a water bottle in her lap. "And water. You know, since I couldn't bring wine."

He gave a shake of his head, looking towards Tara and JJ who were sitting next to one another.

"I wish Penelope was here." JJ sighed. "She would love this."

Luke let out a chuckle. "You know she wanted to be here, but, her job's been keeping her away. She loves it, though - says she wouldn't change it for the world."

"Good for her." Rossi piped in, eyes glued to the whiteboard which was filled with Spencer's handwriting.

"Rossi? What are you staring at so intently? You look like you're at a shooting range, all you need is a gun." JJ questioned, making Dave smile. The others chuckled as they waited for a reply.

"You see that board right there?" He pointed at the board in the center of the room. "Judging by the things written on there, and knowing Spence, I have a feeling this is going to be good."

"Well, I'm excited." Luke shifted in his seat, making Emily nod, mouth filled with popcorn.

The room was starting to grow silent. Rossi took a lot at his watch - 9:58 AM. He knew Reid was a very punctual man, so he expected to class to start in no less than two minutes. He smiled to himself.

"Oh my God, I can't wait!" The girl sitting a row down from the team whisper-shouted loud in enough for the people surrounding her to hear. Emily raised her eyebrows, glancing towards Tara and JJ.

"Shh! He's an FBI agent. If you continue acting like that, he'll read you like a book." Her friend replied, all while applying lip gloss.

"I wish he did." The girl said in a sultry voice, making Tara and JJ exchange a look. Alvez made a snorting sound but quickly covered it up with his hand.

"Are they talking about --" he started, but JJ was quick to cut him off.

"Yup."

He let out a low chuckle, making Tara snicker. JJ's heart clenched slightly, but she pushed her thoughts away. The class was about to begin.

The room grew noticeably quieter. No whispering among classmates, no additional browsing through backpacks and notebooks - the attention of the entire auditorium was solely placed to the front. Rossi took another glance at his watch. It was exactly ten.

The moment Spencer walked into the room, all eyes went to him. Rossi knew he wasn't used to the attention, and he wondered how he reacted to it. He himself never had a problem with it, but he held a couple of seminars with Reid and there was a slight fear that he'd react in a way that would earn him zero respect as a professor. But Dave was also a profiler, and he knew, judging the way Spencer carried himself walking into the room, the fear was completely unnecessary.

"For the past month, we've been discussing all things criminology, but for today, I thought it would be nice for us to move on to a more challenging subject - a subject most of you are here for, I presume. Can anyone tell me what behavioral analysis is?"

Hands shot up across the entire room, and so did Luke's, before JJ elbowed him in the ribs, making him begrudgingly put it down. "You wouldn't have known the answer anyway." She answered his unasked question. Emily snickered, offering him his popcorn, which he gladly took.

"Yes?" He pointed at a girl in the front row.

"I guess it's what profilers use to detect certain anomalies in behavior and uncover secrets people may be hiding." It was obvious she was really nervous, but Spencer nodded while she answered, making her more confident with how she formulated her answer.

"Essentially, yes, that's the premise, but the actual definition slightly differs." His hands moved around him as he explained, "Behavior analysis is a natural science that seeks to understand the behavior of individuals. That is, behavior analysts study how biological, pharmacological, and experiential factors influence the behavior of humans and nonhuman animals."

"What do behavioral analysts do, actually?"

"Focused on teaching others how to collect data to create a therapeutic environment, behavior analysts write reports and implement plans to improve support programs. They teach support professionals, parents, and teachers different ways to implement behavior support plans, procedures, and skills."

"Dr. Reid, is this going to be on the exam?"

He released a sigh, slightly annoyed by the interruption. "As I've already said multiple times, everything we discuss in these classes is of importance, but to make this slightly interesting here's an assignment for all of you enrolled in the class - based on everything we'll be learning throughout the next couple of classes on the subject of behavioral analysis, I want you to attempt to profile what I'm going to put on the exam. You can write it down, remember it, share it with a friend - whatever you want. If you get it right, you'll get extra credit. And, because of that, unfortunately, asking me this type of question would be cheating. Should we continue now?"

"Wouldn't it be more fun if we tried to profile you?" The female student twirled her hair around her finger absentmindedly, gazing towards the doctor.

He smiled, "You can try, but only if you actually pay attention will you be able to get close to the truth." He shot her a pointed look, and the students chuckled as she started to blush. "Now, let's move on."

Tara leaned in and whispered to JJ, "He's really good at this,"

"Yeah," Luke nodded along with JJ.

Rossi just stared intently at Spencer who was now talking about the ways the behavioral analysis was used in FBI. He noticed how confident he was, and how passionately he talked about his job. There was only one way he could describe what he was feeling watching Spencer - he was immensely proud of him.

When the first hour passed, Spencer decided it was enough for the day. He knew that statistically, students could only go on for so long listening to what he had to say. "I think we've gone through enough today, we'll definitely continue off next time. Thank you, guys." He made his way towards his satchel, aware of the students packing up, and leaving the auditorium.

Suddenly, his phone went off. Max's name popped up on the screen, and his face lit up with joy. He didn't waste time answering the call. "Hey, you. What's up?"

Her voice was sweet on the other side, "Nothing much. Just calling in to check on my favorite doctor."

His smile grew. "I just finished a class. Want to meet up, get lunch?"

"Yeah, that'd be great. Let's meet at the park, in like, thirty minutes?"

"It's a date."

She chuckled on the other side, "Sure is. See you soon, bye."

"Bye."

"Was that Max?" Rossi's voice made Reid look up from his phone. A smile was plastered on his face.

"Yeah, it was." He noticed his team piling up around his desk which only made his mood better. "Why didn't you guys tell me you were coming? I would've given you VIP seats." He joked.

Tara shot him a quizzical look, "You don't seem surprised to see us."

"Oh, I just kind of guessed it was a matter of time before you showed up."

Luke raised an eyebrow, "Really?"

JJ intercepted before Spencer could answer. "When did you know we were here?"

His eyebrows knitted together as if she asked a weird question. "When you walked in?"

"We were trying to be inconspicuous!" Tara exclaimed.

"With Emily eating her popcorn, I think the whole room noticed you."

Emily chuckled. "Guilty as charged. But, I can make it up to you by taking you out for lunch. C'mon, let's go!"

"Yes, I'm starving," Tara added.

"Actually, I can't come with."

"Why, Spence? You got plans?" Rossi asked, poking a little fun at him.

Spencer smiled knowingly. "Actually, yes. I'm taking my wonderful girlfriend out for lunch. You guys wanna join?"

Emily shook her head no, "Nope, you go out and have some fun. Say hi to Max for us."

Spencer nodded, "I will."

"Well, I think we'll head out now. Great lecture, man." Luke tapped Spencer on the shoulder.

"It was amazing," Tara confirmed.

"Couldn't agree more," Emily added.

"Stop guys, you're making him blush." JJ joked, hugging him goodbye.

Rossi stayed back as the team made their way outside. "That was great, Spencer."

"Thank you, Dave."

"I think Gideon would be proud." He smiled at him one last time, before leaving along with the rest of the team.

Spencer took a deep breath, put his satchel around his torso, and smiled.

Thank you, Maeve.

[sjerzgirl]

By Joshua Ross on Facebook.

Ok, so, here’s some venting and some explaining and if you don’t like it, I honestly don’t care. Move on and good day to you.

This has easily been the longest 2 months of my career, and, for that matter, my life. COVID-19 has changed everything. The way we live, the way our kids learn, the way we work. It has trashed the economy, exploded unemployment, and harmed businesses, many of them, sadly, beyond repair. But here’s the deal: it’s real and it’s here and it’s still spreading.

As a healthcare worker, I’m exhausted. Physically, mentally, and emotionally. As a manager in the the healthcare industry, it’s been one of the longest, most stressful things I’ve tackled.

First off, the truthers and the conspiracy people and the protesters, you’re not helping. The people bitching CONSTANTLY about the governor’s or whatever level of government’s handling of things, it’s not constructive.

Do you want to know why medical people, real medical people, not some crackpot quacks and kooks with a YouTube account or Facebook page, are taking this seriously? Because it’s serious. And we’re serious people when it comes to people’s health and their lives. Yes, it mostly kills at-risk populations (the elderly and those with underlying medical conditions) but it also kills perfectly healthy people with no prior diagnoses and we don’t know why. I’m so tired of people acting like there’s information that’s being cooked up or withheld. You know why there’s lots of gaps in the information? Because we’re still learning about this virus every day. It’s new. It’s never been seen. How it acts, how it spreads, why it does the things it does is all new and we’re learning on the fly. Stop mistaking genuine lack of information for misinformation or withheld information.

The numbers: this one sticks in my craw like no other. “I heard they didn’t die from COVID-19, they died from a heart attack but they were positive so they called it COVID-19 to boost the numbers and scare people.” Stop. It. You know how many people died specifically from AIDS? Zero. AIDS patients die from pneumonia or some other illness normal, healthy people fight off because the AIDS virus destroyed their immune system and they couldn’t fight off the infection. But at the heart of it, they died because of AIDS. The coronavirus attacks the respiratory system. The respiratory system is, in case you didn’t know, pretty important to sustaining life. It also has a huge impact on how other organ systems, like the heart, work. Guess what, when your lungs don’t work because they’ve basically filled with brick mortar because the virus is attacking them, that puts a bit of a strain on your ticker and very well can cause it to fail. So unless you have a basic understanding of or want to understand how interconnected organ systems are and how the body fundamentally functions: stop.

I think I can speak for a lot of medical professionals when I say, we don’t mean to be arrogant, we don’t mean to be jerks, but damn it, this bullshit is frustrating and yes, we’re going to clap back to ignorance. Ignorance is not something to be flaunted and there is a difference between ignorance and stupidity. Ignorance is being uninformed. Stop being willfully ignorant and even reveling in it because it doesn’t fit your preconceived narrative or opinion. Even worse, stop pretending you’re not ignorant because you watched some damn YouTube video or read some op-ed piece. That’s someone’s opinion, normally based on nothing. NOTHING. No research. That’s not information. That’s not factual. That’s not based in science. It’s click-bait with the sole intention of riling you up and getting you to let your guard down. And instead of being pissed at the virus that’s causing all this, it’s to direct your anger at the government or doctors or anywhere else their agenda wants it directed.

Medical people are fired up for a couple reasons. 1 month ago, we were all heroes and putting our lives on the line because this was dangerous stuff. Well, I think I can speak for most of us when I say we aren’t heroic, we’re just doing our job. But guess what, we’re still doing the same damn thing we were doing a month ago and this crap still hasn’t gone away but now we’re “just trying to scare people” because “it’s really no big deal.” We aren’t looking for a pat on the back or even a thank you, we just want you to do what we all need to do to stop this thing and avoid the spread. Listen, if you think that my big fat ass enjoys sweating like a whore in church in an isolation gown, walking around like Mr Magoo because my glasses are fogged up because of my mask, and wearing goggles that dig into the backs of my ears because I’m “just a sheep,” you are mistaken. It’s because I don’t want this virus and I don’t want to take it home to my family and I don’t want to infect my co-workers and other patients. We’re fired up because we’ve seen and even performed intubations. We don’t intubate for funsies. Outside of the surgical setting, an intubation is basically throwing a Hail Mary to save someone’s life. And when the mortality rate once that plastic tube slides between your vocal cords with COVID-19 is 85-89%, yeah, that’s terrifying. This virus is dangerous.

Lastly, stop being spoiled children about public health advisories. Stop bitching about wearing a mask when you’re in public places. Stop pretending that that is somehow infringing on your rights. Get over yourself. I wish all businesses would grow a pair and refuse service to people who refuse to wear a mask “out of principle.” Police aren’t inclined to enforce it and that’s fine but, spoiler alert, private businesses have and reserve the right to refuse service to anyone. Don’t tell me it’s ok for a bakery to refuse service to a gay couple for a wedding cake on religious grounds but not ok for a convenience store to refuse service because they don’t want the outbreak monkey strolling through their place coughing all over other patrons and their staff. Stay outside the 6ft bubble, wear a damn mask, and wash your hands. It’s that easy. Stop pretending they’re asking for a kidney. It’s as much to protect yourself as it is everyone else. People wonder why we have things like stay-at-home orders and closing of non-essential businesses. It’s because of you, jackass, you’re the problem. It’s your lack of ability to exercise common sense and your refusal to follow simple, insanely simple advice that forces the government to exercise it for you. And even then, you still thumb your nose at it in all your ignorant glory. Sorry that you feel like they’re infringing on your right to be an irresponsible child.

Look, all I’m saying is I get that it’s frustrating and I get that it’s irritating, and inconvenient and all the other bad things that it is, but please, continue to take this seriously, continue to do the little things that make a big difference. Stop denying facts, science, and the advice from people who have spent a lifetime doing what they do in the medical and research fields to ultimately make everyone’s lives healthier, safer, and better.

I’m done with my soap box now. ✌🏻

#washyourhands #wearamask

[scoutception]

Chaos;Child review

Steins;Gate; it’s one of the most popular visual novels ever made, for very, very good reason. While I had played my fair share visual novels before, namely Ace Attorney, Danganronpa, and Zero Escape, Steins;Gate was still a very special experience for me that instantly launched me into the wider world of visual novels. More than anything, though, it made me extremely curious about the rest of the franchise around it; not just the sequel to it, Steins;Gate 0, but the whole rest of the Science Adventure series. For a bit of a rundown, the first game in this series, that many fans of Steins;Gate very likely have no clue about, was a title called Chaos;Head. Focusing on an extremely reclusive and paranoid high school student named Takumi Nishijou, who has his life thrown into chaos after witnessing the latest in a series of murders known as the New Generation Madness, it was an interesting story with a heavy focus on delusions, creating an interesting experience that, while still ultimately clear and conclusive, leaves you in the dark the majority of the time in regards to just what is happening, and how much is even real. While a good effort all around that served as a great base for Steins;Gate, it was ultimately held down by a lot of things, from smaller things like a pretty generic and unmemorable artstyle and mostly unremarkable voice acting, to much more noticeable things, from the slow, unfocused plot, to the underutilized cast of characters who never come together as a group, mostly just dropping in and out on an individual basis whenever the plot needs them, to the choice system of the game, the delusion trigger, which allows you to view a positive or negative scene Takumi imagines in response to surprising or stressful situations, being pretty much pointless, only rarely giving a better glimpse into Takumi’s characterization, to Takumi himself being extremely creepy, cowardly, and all around unlikeable, and not getting sufficient development across the story to make up for it, at least until the very last chapter. While it did get an updated version, Chaos;Head Noah, Chaos;Head was nonetheless buried beyond saving by Steins;Gate, not helped by not having an official localization to this day. As the cherry on top, it had a terrible anime adapation that tried to fit a fairly lengthy VN into a mere 12 episodes, completely wrecking the pacing, making the story even more confusing than was intended, and using an entire episode on useless filler to top it off. The reason I went into detail on that is, well, the subject of today’s review; Chaos;Head’s sequel, Chaos;Child. Chaos;Child is in an interesting spot in the series, firstly because as of right now, it’s the only main VN in the series other than the two Steins;Gate titles to have an official localization, and while both Robotics;Notes and Robotics;Notes DaSH are set to be localized this year, it still means it’s the only other title around to experience until those come out, at least in an official fashion. Secondly, unlike Steins;Gate 0 and Robotics;Notes DaSH, Chaos;Child is only a thematic sequel, with the cast of Chaos;Head not returning, with the exception of one side character having a fairly prominent role, and a few references and cameos for others. The main cast is otherwise a clean slate, and concepts of Chaos;Head are taken at a different angle. Aside from helping keep things fresh, it also allows it to take its own pace with introducing and explaining the main concepts, making it still cohesive even without having gone through Chaos;Head, though it’s still connected in important ways. The main point is, you don’t have to go through Chaos;Head to enjoy Chaos;Child, which is very good considering the various problems surrounding Chaos;Head. Now, the question is, is Chaos;Child worth going through by itself? The short answer is, absolutely, yes. It is a fantastic experience on par with Steins;Gate, and I would recommend it with all my passion. You can get it on PS4 or Steam. Seriously, go for it. As for the long answer, well, buckle in, because this’ll be a ride.

Chaos;Child takes place in 2015, 6 years after a devastating earthquake that utterly wrecked the ward of Shibuya during the events of Chaos;Head, leaving many physical and mental scars on the populace. Though Shibuya has since been rebuilt, a series of bizarre murders begin to occur on the days of the New Generation Madness, the series of killings that gripped Shibuya in the days before the earthquake. These killings, dubbed the Return of the New Generation Madness, leave the citizens of Shibuya morbidly captivated, much as the original incidents did, and unfortunately leave the police with no clues as to the identity of the culprit, seemingly leaving them to continue their crimes unopposed. Enter Takuru Miyashiro, a senior at Hekiho Academy and president of its newspaper club. Takuru was orphaned by the Shibuya earthquake and adopted by Wataru Sakuma, a doctor who has a foster home in the same building as his clinic, though Takuru has moved out into an RV by the time of the game due to an argument with his foster sister, Nono Kurusu, the student council president and vice president of the newspaper club. With the help of the other members of the club, Serika Onoe, Takuru’s reckless and rather dense childhood friend, Shinji Itou, Takuru’s confident best friend with an interest in bizarre murders such as the New Generation Madness, and Hana Kazuki, a mute girl who spends most of her time playing MMOs in the club room, Takuru conducts his own investigation of the Return of the New Generation Madness despite Nono’s concerns for his safety, independently discovering many clues and connections, such as the presence of the mysterious and creepy “Sumo Stickers” at the site of each murder. After taking his investigations too far and stumbling upon the scene of the latest murder, Takuru finds increasing evidence of the killer having capabilities far beyond that of a normal human- and that his discoveries may have put him in danger of becoming the next victim.

While this sounds much like the basic premise of Chaos;Head, in practice it’s very different. In Chaos;Heads, the New Gen murders, though certainly important, mostly just played out in the background, with Takumi rarely directly being involved. By contrast, the murders in Chaos;Child, and the mysteries around them, are the focus of the game, and it’s very worthy of it. The mysteries and reveals around them are downright fascinating, and gives the player just as many hints for them to follow as the characters, making for a very interesting plot to follow. Chaos;Child is also notable for being much, much darker than the previous entries in the series, which weren’t exactly flowers and rainbows themselves. The murders themselves are extremely gruesome and disturbing, the reveals don’t pull any sort of punches, and the majority of the game’s endings lie much closer to the bitter end of bittersweet, compared to, say, Steins;Gate’s endings. While it can get a bit draining by the end, Chaos;Child makes it work, never pushing you to the extent of becoming apathetic despite the horrors and tragedy of the plot, which is owed in large part to the well written and very sympathetic cast of characters.

Everyone in the main cast manages to be interesting, fun to have around, or both. Takuru himself is a very good protagonist, despite having a very unlikeable start. He’s arrogant, reckless, extremely awkward, overly stubborn, and downright petty in a lot of ways, especially regarding his obsession with staying on the “right side” of information, not to mention him treating the murders as something exciting and a way to get famous. Despite all that, he has a lot of development across the game, and starts early on it. He’s also got a much rougher past than some of the previous protagonists, which helps explain how he grew into the person he is.

Some of the other more memorable members of the cast include Hinae Arimura, who, though hyper and friendly on the surface, hides a very sharp tongue and a fairly cynical nature, Mio Kunosato, the exceedingly harsh, obsessive, and resourceful scientist investigating the Return of the New Generation Madness on her own, who makes an interesting contrast to the rest of the cast just because of how completely unpleasant she is, Shinji, who manages to be a much more likeable character than some of the previous obligatory male friends in the series, and my personal favorite, Nono, who despite seemingly being an unfairly harsh big sister type, quickly establishes herself as an extremely caring person, with a lot more emotional baggage than she lets on. A good chunk of the game’s emotional moments involve her, particularly her attempts to fix her very strained relationship with Takuru.

While all the characters make at least decent impressions to begin with, what helps them even further is the additional ending routes, branching off from the normal route depending on specific choices you make throughout the game. Compared to the way Steins;Gate handles its endings, these are full chapters, putting much more focus on characters such as Hinae and Hana, taking the plot in completely different directions. Not only are the stories of them interesting on their own, they do a great job of developing the characters and showing them from different perspectives.

What caps off the writing is the absolutely fantastic atmosphere the game builds. It goes very heavy with horror elements compared to Chaos;Head, and doesn’t skimp in any area. While it’s got the visuals down, the main strength is the buildup, suspense, and narrative description, all of which is fantastically done. Tense scenes go at a steady enough pace to let each small thing sink in, without being drawn out enough that you lose interest, and the much less ambiguous nature on what scenes are real or not makes any shifts of that sort much more effectively jarring. It’s seriously one of my favorite atmospheres in a game, and makes for a great experience for anyone even slightly a fan of horror.

The subject of “fake” scenes brings me to the main gameplay element of Chaos;Child: the Delusion Trigger. Every once in a while, a situation will make Takuru imagine a positive or negative delusion regarding it, with you being able to choose one to view before snapping back to the regular scene like nothing happened. While a decent idea on paper, like in Chaos;Head, it really doesn’t add much most of the time, and despite being your method for accessing the different endings, it really doesn’t tie into them at all. At the least, though, it does a decent job of showing Takuru is much less mature than he tries to appear, and if nothing else, they’re gold mines for random screenshots. They also appear less and less frequently as the game goes on, which helps keep them from distracting from more serious scenes.

On a more technical side of things, visually speaking, I like the look of the game quite a bit. While it doesn’t reach the heights of Steins;Gate in character designs or the general artstyle, though that’s a very high bar to reach for, the sprites, backgrounds, and CGs are all very well drawn on their own, and the designs are at least more distinctive than in Chaos;Head. The visuals also do a large part to help with the atmosphere; while it looks light on the surface, many scenes use lighting filters that do a lot to help the mood, and the CGs do not disappoint when they get serious.

The UI also looks great, and furthers the atmosphere even more. From the shadowy ends of the dialogue boxes moving passively, to the menu screen’s rolling fog, to the odd borders of the screen during delusions, it has a very stylish look.

Chaos;Child doesn’t disappoint on the audio side of things either. Series composer Takeshi Abo puts out a great soundtrack, as usual, with many catchy or atmospheric themes, along with vocal themes that are absolutely fantastic. The voice acting is also very good, with just about everyone giving out a great performance, in particular Yoshitsugu Matsuoka as Takuru, Sumire Uesaka as Serika, Sarah Emi Bridcutt as Nono, Suzuko Mimori as Hinae, and Risa Taneda as Mio.

The last thing to mention is that Chaos;Child is a very long visual novel. Not quite as monsterous as some, but it’s still a significant time drain, and while there is an anime adaptation, it is a terrible alternative. While not outright awful by itself, especially compared to Chaos;Head’s anime, 12 episodes is simply not enough time to make the story work. Not only does it have to rush to make nearly every chapter fit into one episode, absolutely ruining the pacing, it doesn’t adapt the other endings in any way, making a lot of the characters come off as way less developed, and couldn’t even adapt the true ending at first, which is just disgraceful. The visual novel is the only real way to experience it. And now that we’re at this point, I suppose it’s conclusion time.

Is Chaos;Child something I would recommend? 100% absolutely. Between the fantastic atmosphere, great cast of characters, and fascinating and emotional story, it is a special kind of experience that proudly stands with Steins;Gate as one of the greatest visual novels out there, in a genre with many fantastic works. It can be a bit slow to start, but once it gets going, it stays an amazing experience.

With that giant rant out of the way, I’m off to start on the last thing in the series there is for me to tackle as of now: Steins;Gate 0. Till next time. -Scout

[aahsoka]

So having been on tiktok for a bit I wanna talk a little about it.

What I like

It’s actually rather entertaining to scroll through up to 30 second videos one after the other. Sometimes the humor falls flat or it’s not your taste, but the algorithim is quite good at recommending the kind of content you will like.

I joined right when there was a big trend going around about sharing your culture, and soon after a Blackout trend where non-Black creators stopped posting for a day & spread/supported videos by Black creators. So I ended up with a fairly diverse fyp or “for you page”. It also quickly gathered that I am bisexual, so I get plenty of lgbt+ content. There’s some art mixed in there, some cosplay, some historical costuming/seamstresses, lots of avatar jokes lately, musical theatre content, fashion, girls in bikinis on rollerskates (in outer space), commentary on political issues, body positivity, all the kinds of stuff I like. To get a feed that caters to your interests you just have to watch & like videos you’re interested in & eventually it gets a feel for what you’ll watch and what you won’t.

Theres a trend where people say which ‘side’ of tiktok they’re on and I get ‘science side of tumblr’ flashbacks but I’ve mostly avoided the “straight” and conservative sides of tiktok. I would be considered a part of “woke”, “alt” (as in alternative) and lgbt+ tiktok (there are separate ones for each letter of the acronym). Possibly also “theatre” and “cosplay” tiktok. These categories are nebulous and you’re usually part of multiple communities; its just as arbitray as ‘science side of tumblr’ was.

The format reminds me of snapchat a little, and I love to talk to myself on video & post dumb thirst traps for my friends (none of which I’m attracted to so idk what my goal is there) and make stupid jokes. So this app is kinda perfect for my attention seeking side & hyperactive tendencies. Its very easy to consume on a short attention span, though not as easy as vine was.

Being in quarantine, its a way for a lot of people to engage in hobbies that involve community. Cosplay is pretty popular, as its a fun way to show off a costume & dress up & have fun without having to attend a convention. I enjoy the way lip synced audios can be used to emulate the character someone is dressed as; that’s something you couldn’t really do unless you were really good at impressions. Its a nice succinct way to show the process of creating a cosplay as well.

Those who enjoy theatre, but cannot perform in shows at this time, are able to create mini-monologues & sketches as well as sing parts of their favorite songs. Its an avenue through which to perform without putting anyone at risk of the virus. It’s also an easy way to show off your talents without having to go through the audition process & actually get cast in a show as a prominent enough role that someone will notice it.

It’s a convenient format for discourse and educational videos. Nice, short, easily digestible tidbits that stay in your mind. This extremely catchy song, for example: “Black neighborhoods are overpoliced, so of course they have higher rates of crime, and white perpetrators are undercharged, so of course they have lower rates of crime. And all of those stupid stats you keep using are operating off a small sample size. So, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up”.

As well as other videos where people take the time to explain historical events, satirize racist arguments to demonstrate why they are wrong, talk about prevalent tropes in movies, teach a few signs in ASL, share facts about their culture, etc, etc. I have found there are quite a lot of people there from unique and fairly unknown cultures and backgrounds- and this is a place where they’re able to share their culture & existence with people all over the world. There are a thousand different viewpoints. Their videos are doing far more for diverse representation than any other platform, I’d argue, as everyone is extremely visible on the app. (‘Their’ as in the creators, not the app itself).

I also have enjoyed coming across new artists on the app. It’s really fun to watch the process they go through, as most art videos deal with the whole creation of a piece. It’s inspiring. I have also come across a painter who’s work I’m in love with, and a woman who makes and sells the CUTEST ceramic mugs, and I need to purchase some stuff from them both.

Now onto the bad:

Unfortunately, the app doesn’t have much in the way of a filtering or warning system. I talked about that tiktok of the kids coming across human remains? That was just on people’s fyp. Just popped up. No warning. No reason for it to still be up. Traumatizing.

You can click on a video and say ‘not interested’ (I do this to literally every video I get where some girl is thirsting after kylo ren 🤮..... like I want the star wars videos just not THOSE videos). However, it doesn’t seem to know exactly why you weren’t interested, because I still get those videos from time to time. There’s no content filter where I can blacklist the kylo ren or any other hashtag.

There’s some very shitty content. There are racist conservatives. Misogynistic teen white boys. Really weird thirst traps. Videos where people lip sync to something with a straight face and tag it with #acting. Harmful body image trends. I thankfully stay very clear of this, but this kind of content makes me worry for the minors on the app. The one’s who don’t have enough of a concept of self yet to realize they don’t need to be able to do the newest pointless beauty trend to be beautiful, to realize it’s ok for them to be gay, to realize how predatory some adults can be, etc etc.

It is extremely easy to come across minors on the app who don’t look like teens. One time I went to a girl’s page and it said she was FIFTEEN. I’m usually good at guessing ages but something about this app messes that up. I wish there was a way to separate people under 18 and adults. Where I don’t have minor’s thirst traps popping up on my fyp. Where pedophiles don’t get a chance to curate that fyp intentionally. If anyone reading this has kids, I highly recommend they make their tiktok private or only viewable to friends.

Just like any site, there are plenty of bigots. Lots of racist comments. Plenty of transphobia. Any hatred you’ve seen elsewhere, of course it exists on tiktok. I have actually zero clue if you can report people & if it works. Most people seem to send a video commentary to their haters or duet a video of a racist pointing out their racism. I’ve heard of creators blocking people, however. I remember a tiktok of a Black woman who’s video somehow went fairly viral in Poland and now she gets a lot of racist comments from this large group of random racisf Polish followers she has and its extremely time consuming to block them all, as there’s no mass block feature.

The rumors about what works with the algorithm and doesn’t abound. I’ve heard well lit videos get more views. Many people suspect they have been shadowbanned for speaking out about current events. TikTok will remove the audio from videos sometimes if they deem it controversial enough. Most of us know they were criticized recently for intentionally keeping Black creator’s videos from being seen (a catalyst for the Blackout, actually). Or you may also recall when it was criticized for widely removing lgbt+ content. Those creators are fighting to be seen the same amount as straight cis white creators are allowed to be seen with no effort.

The effects some trends could have on teen girls. So many of them are already so uncomfortable in their own skin simply because of societal standards, but the absolutely meaningless challenges people come up with on tiktok make it so much worse. One trend was based around whether your finger touched your lips when you put it in your nose. Or if you could get your clasped hands around the back of your legs and over your butt (if they get passed, you have a flat ass, if they get stuck, its big). These completely arbitrary signifiers of the things you need to have in order to be pretty, are far more ridiculous that anything I have seen yet in my life. I worry about little girls taking these ideas to heart. There is a very kind body positive community on the app & I hope more people can find that.

There’s also that thing where they steal your data. Like most apps. But apparently they got a lot more invasive than usual, so I would look into it before making an account; if you want to do that.

I think the apps users can be great & its a pretty intuitive set up. It certainly deserves its popularity solely as a creative form of social media. That being said, its owners are so so insidious & do the worst things. Just like all other social media, its controlled by the worst kind of people. Who can never figure out how to effectively get rid of nazis or keep kids safe from adult content.

These are my less serious gripes with the app:

1) Lip syncing

When people lip sync and don’t do any kind of skit, joke, etc, just look as if they’re saying what someone else said; I hate that. I have to go back and find the original tiktok so I can like it instead. You literally did nothing interesting by ripping off someones audio and moving your lips along to it. So many people on this app are creative and so many others lack any semblance of creativity.

Also people are too easily impressed by lip syncing to kinda-fast songs. I lip synced to like....10 seconds of the devil went down to georgia and two people praised my lip syncing abilities. Like, I can also sing and talk fast, out loud, isn’t that more impressive? more skillful? The fiddle playing in that song is impressive, not the fact I can lip sync ‘the devil went down to georgia, he was lookin for a soul to steal, he was in a bind, cause he was way behind.’ Have you ever seen someone play Johnny’s fiddle solo????? It’s insane!!!

Rather than see someone lip sync to the verse in Stressed Out 2x faster than normal (which is, extremely simple and the song was overplayed and ingrained into our collective consciousness) and go WOW what about someone.....doing the verse out loud. You can litterally just mouth random words and look like you’re saying the right ones. It’s driving me crazy lmao. I’m set to become a God of tiktok because I have a repertoire of fast songs and rap verses memorized. It’s not even an uncommon skill to speak or sing quickly, people literally make rap music for a living! Listen to it maybe.

2) “Acting”

I am begging you to stop making me sit through those horrible POVs. I cannot take another girl not quite fake crying towards the camera as she lip syncs the words from a song that apply to the random situation she decided she was in. I cannot take another boy who thinks its sexy to stare into a camera and smirk in every single situation he creates.

Back to lip syncing, making facial expressions along to words isn’t really acting. Try saying the words out loud perhaps? The inflection you use with your lines is a pretty big part of acting. Like you can lip sync all you want, just stop tagging it with #acting.

3) Comedic timing, or lack thereof

You don’t need the entire intro to sit there looking at the camera waiting until the first line starts and you can lip sync to the part that’s the joke. You could cut off at least 15 seconds. Brevity is the soul of wit.

When your joke involves both reading text on screen and listening to the song for the punchline, if it isn’t done prefectly, its so difficult to follow. I can’t read a paragraph in 5 seconds. Paraphrase.

4) self deprecating artist audio

the audio thats like ‘this wont get views’ ‘I suck’ ‘you probably won’t see this anyway’ LOVE YOURSELF

It sucks when people dont enagage with your art but it sucks worse when your value in yourself and you art is based solely on receiving that validation. Please find a healthy medium.

Also you’re asking for pity, and you don’t want that. You want people who genuinely love your art for what it is.

5) editing videos is really hard how do you make such cool & smooth transitions????

please help me I don’t understand

Finally

here’s my account if you’re interested

[pikapeppa]

Oh Mighty Word Wrangler, bestow upon me your wisdom!! ♥ What do you think makes your amazing fics so popular? Apart from your OBVIOUS talent and writing ability, of course ;) Is it frequency of posting? The pairings? Amount of smut? I'm curious :D

HAHAHAH THANK YOU FOR THAT COMPLIMENT YOU SNUCK IN THERE but also I’M PANIC at the thought of trying to answer this question lol?? I mean, this is the question for the ages, right? What makes a fic popular, and how do we boost the engagement with our own work?

Let me preface this reply by saying it is based just on my experiences and hypothesizing, and NOT on anything systematic. Trust me, I’d study this like a science if I could, but then I wouldn’t be writing. HAHA. Also, I’ll mostly focus on popularity on AO3 and not on Tumblr, since I would argue that I’m only “known as a writer” on Tumblr because people followed me here from AO3. 

First of all, I want to highlight the fact that popularity does not equal quality, and vice versa. I’ve read some fics that are AMAZING but have little engagement. Some examples are Last Call by @galadrieljones (Ameridan/Lavellan) and this very short Fenris fic that I just read recently. On the other hand, I’ve tried to read some fics that are extremely popular with tons of hits/kudos/comments, but my judgmental ass thinks they’re poorly written and/or poorly characterized. There really is not a clear linear relationship between the quality of a fic and its popularity. (Anyone who is discouraged by the lack of engagement with their work: please keep this in mind.)

Another thing to consider: what do we even mean by popularity? On AO3, is the most popular fic the one with the most hits? The most comments? The most kudos? Even then, a longfic that’s been updated weekly for a year is going to have more hits than a completed oneshot, just by virtue of its length. Frequently updated fics will show up week after week in search results, since AO3’s search results show the most recently updated fics by default. So when I think about popularity… ehhh, I guess I’m thinking about a vague combination of all three of these things – hits, kudos, and comments – while keeping the length of the fic in mind. Given all of this, in the grand scheme of things, my DA fics really aren’t that popular. I didn’t actually do a search because I didn’t want to make myself sad, but if you search my DA pairings (e.g. Fenris/female Hawke) on AO3 by number of hits/comments/kudos, I won’t come up on the first few pages of search results. We’ll come back to the topic of search results later.

ANYWAY. Let’s pretend I’m relatively popular, leaving out the Big Names™ in DA fanfic (whom I won’t tag here because I don’t want to annoy them with a random tag lol). What do I think make my fics somewhat popular? I can think of four things:

Frequency of posting

The combination of fandom and pairing: filling a gap

Varying lengths of fics for a single pairing: something for everyone

I have no idea

Frequency of posting

The most obvious factor that jumps out to me is that I post regularly and frequently. Currently, I update my two ongoing longfics weekly or every other week. When I first got really heavily into Fenris/Rynne Hawke, I was updating almost every day. As I mentioned before, AO3’s search results are shown by the most recently updated fics by default. So if I’m posting regularly, that means my fic is regularly appearing at the top of the list of search results when people search my tags or pairings, which means a higher chance of new readers seeing it and deciding to dive in week after week. 

Fandom and pairing: filling a gap

For this point, I’m going to call back to the fandom where I first became “well-known”, which is Horizon Zero Dawn. I’ve written a number of ships for that game, but my OTP is Aloy/Nil. My fic Stormbirds and Stalkers is the second most kudos’ed fic if you search for that pairing on AO3, and the #1 most kudos’ed fic if you exclude fics that are multi-ship (i.e. shipping Aloy with multiple people in a single fic, which is common in the HZD fandom). Importantly, this was a popular pairing in a very small fandom. There weren’t many fics for this pairing at the time, and there weren’t any fics that did what I was doing: a monogamous love story, with explicit smut, that was actually being updated. 

Funnily enough, though, my second most popular fic in the HZD fandom is my fic for Aloy/Ikrie. This is an extreme rarepair even within a small fandom, with only 19 Aloy/Ikrie fics on AO3, but my fic for this pairing is the one with the most hits/kudos/comment and is also my one fic with the most subscribers on AO3. Clearly people were excited about this fic and wanted to see more of this pairing. 

So what’s the logic here? A rarepair in a small fandom, a popular pairing in a small fandom… what’s the pattern? From what I can tell, a fic will be more popular if people are starved for that content. If a fic falls into that gap where people clearly want MOAR, but MOAR doesn’t yet exist, it’s going to get more engagement. Popular pairings in a small fandom fall perfectly into that gap, as do highly-coveted rarepairs with little existing content. A Dragon Age example of this is my little Cole/Lavellan romance fic. Colemances are quite rare, sexual ones even more so, and I think the reason for my Colemance fic’s popularity is because it fills that gap. 

If we return to the rest of my Dragon Age fic, however… [nervous laugh] the logic I just outlined above doesn’t really apply. That takes me to the third factor.

Varying fic lengths for a single pairing: a little something for everyone

Most of my Dragon Age work is for the most popular pairings for the games I’ve played: FenHawke for DA2, and Solavellan for DA:I. (Yes, yes, Cullen is even more popular, but I’ll leave my Cullen/Inquisitor work out of this analysis because I think it’s a special case.) I’ve heard that it’s notoriously difficult to get engagement when you’re writing a popular ship for a bigger fandom, since readers get inundated with choice and your fic can get lost in the shuffle. I would in no way say I’m “popular” for the pairings I write, considering that the most popular Solavellan fics have like… tens of thousands of hits and thousands of comments. Still, I have been surprised and thrilled by the engagement I have gotten in this fandom, especially since I’m kind of a noob to the DA world. 

One of the reasons my DA work might be relatively popular is that I write fics of varying lengths and types for my pairings. For Fen and Rynne in particular, I’ve got everything from non-smut oneshots to smutty oneshots to smutty longfics to AUs. There’s a little bit of everything for everyone, and I suspect that someone who was like “I just want a oneshot” might get interested enough by the one thing they read to check out my other work, even if they didn’t start out looking for more than a oneshot. Similarly for Solavellan, and also for Abelas/Lavellan, I’ve got oneshots and a multichapter drabble collection, so there’s something both for the people who are searching for a quick oneshot and for those who are searching for multichapter fics. In short: more variety means more potential to show up in AO3 search results. 

Don’t get me wrong; some of my Dragon Age stuff has fallen flat, namely my Blackwall/Lavellan work. That was actually the first DA ship I ever wrote for. The smutty oneshot collection has been relatively popular in terms of hits and kudos, but the two little multichapter mini-fics I wrote for Baewall have had very little attention, and I don’t really know why. Baewall isn’t the most popular ship in the fandom, I know, but it still doesn’t really explain the popularity of the smutty oneshots versus the mini-fics, which are also smutty. 

Which brings me to my final point…

I have no idea.

LOL. Seriously though. I’m sure there are other things at play that I’m not aware of, so maybe this can open a little discussion! What do you guys think? Any other theories on why some fics get more popular than others? 

Thanks for the interesting ask, Elvenybae! I definitely spent too much time thinking about this today, LOL!! 😂 😘

- Love from your friendly neighbourhood Pikapeppa xoxo

[gumnut-logic]

We’ll Be Home For Christmas 3.5

Title: We’ll be home for Christmas

Day Three - If not for the courage of the fearless crew – Part 5 Prologue | 1.1 | 1.2 | 2.1 | 2.2 | 2.3 | 3.1 | 3.2 | 3.3 | 3.4

Author: Gumnut

4 - 11 Jan 2020

Fandom: Thunderbirds Are Go 2015/ Thunderbirds TOS

Rating: Teen

Summary: The boys can’t fly home for Christmas, so they have to find another way.

Word count: 3231

Spoilers & warnings: language and so, so much fluff. Science!Gordon. Artist!Virgil, Minor various ships, mostly background.

Timeline: Christmas Season 3, I have also kinda ignored the main storyline of Season 3. The boys needed a break, so I gave them one. Post season 3B, before Season 3C cos we haven’t seen it yet.

Author’s note: For @scattergraph. This is my 2019 TAG Secret Santa fic :D

Took me a while with work getting in the way and a stubborn muse that just wouldn’t behave, but here is the next bit. I hope you enjoy it.

Many thanks to @vegetacide and @scribbles97 for cheering me on and their wonderful support through this craziness. And to @onereyofstarlight for geeking out with me over the setting.

Disclaimer: Mine? You’ve got to be kidding. Money? Don’t have any, don’t bother.

-o-o-o-

 “So, you spoke to a whale today?”

Gordon elbowed the surfer in the ribs. “Sam!”

“Hey, it’s the elephant on the island, I just want to acknowledge it.”

A sigh and Virgil held up his hand. “It’s okay, what did you want to know?”

“How did you do it? Many have tried before and none succeeded.”

Quiet. “I don’t know.”

There was a silence after that, Sam staring at him.

“Then how?”

“I’m sorry, Sam, I honestly don’t know. It just happened.”

“Do you think you could do it again?”

Virgil stared at him. “I-“

“Sam! Leave it.” Gordon’s voice was cutting.

The surfer frowned and held up his hands defensively. “Sorry.”

Virgil reached out a hand and placed it on Gordon’s shoulder. His fish brother was still glaring at the surfer. “It’s fine. But I’m sorry, Sam, I don’t have the answers right now.”

Sam held his gaze for the next few moments. Quiet. “You felt it, didn’t you? You weren’t in the water, but you felt it. The connection.”

Sam’s eyes weren’t the same colour as Gordon’s, closer to John’s or Scott’s being a pale green-blue, but they sparked with as much vivacity and energy as his fish brother on his inspired days.

Virgil frowned. “What do you mean?”

“That dolphin, the one who saved me? There was a moment where I thought that this was it, I was going to drown, there was nothing but the blue of the sea left and I was almost welcoming the end, I was that exhausted. But then she was there, she was lifting me, nudging me towards the sun. I felt her skin under my fingers. She spoke to me in high pitched barks. And her eyes. Those eyes pierced me to my soul.” The surfer swallowed and looked away a moment. Liam reached over and wrapped an arm around his shoulders, rubbing gently. “He or she...she was there and she was communicating in a way I could not understand, but communicating nonetheless and for a moment, I connected. I knew what she wanted me to do and I made that extra effort.” Another pause and Sam looked down at his hands. “She carried my exhausted ass into shore as far as she could go. I managed to get my feet under me and she disappeared into the waves. I never saw her again.” Sam straightened and caught Virgil’s eyes. “But for that moment, I understood. She communicated on my level and gave me a gift I will be trying to repay for the rest of my life.” Those eyes held him. “It was the same for you wasn’t it. They got inside you, reached in and tied knots in your soul.”

There was a stunned silence after that. Virgil was still held by the passion in the man’s eyes, but what he said rang so true, it bounced off the back of his skull and down his throat into his heart.

“I save people.” The words fell out of his mouth, dry and parched. “It’s what I do.” He swallowed as Sam continued to stare at him with that expectant gaze. His mind was a turbulent mess, thoughts churning with emotion and images and sound.

Notes cascaded through the back of his mind, pain-filled cries that could only be answered from inside.

His fingers twitched with a sudden need for his keyboard as if to answer the man through his fingers.

A smaller hand wrapped around those fingers and he startled, turning his head to find Gordon’s familiar russet eyes frowning at him in concern. His brother’s hand felt ever so small in his, but its warmth buzzed with energy. “Virgil?”

Clearing his throat, Virgil straightened in his seat. “Yeah, I felt it. A...a connection.”

“You understand? You get it?” Sam’s eyes were wide and once again he was almost bouncing. Liam still had his arm around his husband and appeared to be literally holding him in his seat.

“I get it.”

His brother’s fingers tightened around his.

-o-o-o-

Gordon stared at his artistic brother and saw the struggle behind the man’s eyes. Something was freaking him out. Had been ever since the rescue. It was somewhat alarming to see his usually unflappable and calm brother so suddenly at a loss as to what to do with himself.

“Virgil, you don’t have to talk about this if you don’t want to.”

Gordon knew for a fact that there were several aspects of the rescue he had no wish to share with anyone. The emotion in those gorgeous eyes, the pain, the pleading, the touch of soft skin beneath his fingertips. He kept those moments close to his heart, deep inside, cherished and safe.

Virgil...was his artistic brother. He saw things differently...this was the only way Gordon could explain it. He couldn’t understand it, but then understanding wasn’t needed, only acceptance. Virgil saw things in a way that enabled him to transform his interpretations into art and music. Today, he had somehow transformed emotion into sound, and it had cost...something.

Virgil frowned, looking down at a random spot in the middle of the table before straightening again and facing Sam head on. “What do you know about humpback whale communication?”

Sam’s face split into a grin. “A lot. I know a lot. I have access to all the studies done with the Kermadec whales and all the literature from elsewhere.”

Gordon’s mind quite easily supplied a few sources Sam didn’t have access to, but John or Eos could get their grotty little paws into. He might have to have a chat with Johnny over the next couple of days.

“I would be very interested in learning more.” Virgil’s fingers were twitching again. Gordon frowned down at them. It wasn’t random, more like a beat.

Sam’s grin grew wide enough to take in half the island. “That’s great. I would love to help you with that.”

Gordon’s eyes bounced back and forth between his brother and his friend. He’d known Sam for years. They had met during WASP training, but Sam had washed out when both the erratic wannabe surfer and his superiors agreed that WASP was not a good career choice. Gordon had lost contact for a short period of time and then encountered him again as an undergraduate working alongside WASP in undersea agriculture. Gordon had picked up his degree with WASP, but then was lured into marine biology even further by the blooming cetacean biologist. Gordon’s specialities were much broader, and tended towards marine ecosystems as a whole. Sam, of course, focussed on cetaceans and the larger creatures of the deep. By the time Gordon relocated to Tracy Island, Sam was following the great ocean behemoths all over the planet.

It was just convenient that those behemoths passed through the Kermadecs on a regular basis, because once Sam met Liam, he chose to specialise in those particular whales and relocated to Raoul. He still disappeared every now and again, chasing a migration here or there, but his base was Raoul and Gordon loved having not only Mel nearby, but Sam for a neighbour as well.

This was the first time any of his brothers had met the man. Last time the Raoul resident volcano had thrown a fit, Sam and Liam had been off site, a fact that had been a relief to Gordon, but consequently, Virgil hadn’t met him...and Gordon had been too busy ribbing Virgil about Mel.

A glance in the direction of where he had last seen Scott found the chairs empty and neither his big brother or Mel anywhere to be seen.

Hmmm...

But then he realised that both John and Alan were missing as well, along with Elspeth.

The impromptu party was empty except for himself, Virgil, Sam and Liam. Where the hell had everyone gone?

-o-o-o-

Alan was enjoying a rare moment with his space brother.

It had started with a polite conversation with Elspeth about their individual interests. Elspeth was somewhat a rarity in that she was a fully ground-based astronomer. Apparently, her body couldn’t tolerate either zero-g or strong g-forces, so she couldn’t go into space.

Of course, she still had access to orbital and interplanetary telescopes, so she could get the specific data she was looking for, but to be confined to the planet...? Alan found the concept horrifying.

To not be able to experience the rush of launch, the relief of zero-g and to see that blue marble...it wasn’t for him and to be honest, he dreaded the day he could no longer launch his ‘bird into the sky.

John was polite, but Alan could see his big brother had a similar reaction. Neither of them liked to think that one day, space might be denied them. It didn’t help that neither of them had been up in the last fortnight. Alan knew John was missing Five and Eos and while Alan himself was based on Tracy Island, his love of space was no less a passion.

He missed it.

So as the night wore on and Elspeth eventually excused herself, Scott disappeared with Mel, and since the deep conversation Virgil and Gordon were involved in reeked of exclusivity, Alan suggested to his brother that they do a little stargazing.

He was quite happy when John agreed.

This boat trip had given them more time together in one rush than they’d had in months, possibly years. Sure a good part of that had involved a violent competition of skill as he fought his brother to become master of the universe, but it had been good nonetheless.

They didn’t go far, mindful of the restrictions placed on visitors to the island, but behind one of the buildings, between it and the sea, they found a dark spot filled with stars.

The grass was long and it cushioned his body as he lay back. Orion and the Southern Cross hung in the sky. His mind automatically calculated exactly where each of the major satellites sat in their orbits and where John’s beloved Five hovered far above them.

“How’s Eos?”

John sighed. “I have her on a project.” His brother was hidden in the shadows, but his voice was clear and confident in the dark. “She’s listening to whale song.”

Alan frowned. “Why?”

“I assume you saw Virgil’s reaction to today’s rescue?”

“Well, yeah, he’s been weird ever since.”

Another sigh from his big brother. “I just thought Eos might be able to shed some light on what happened.”

“Why Eos? What would she know about whales?”

“Alan, don’t underestimate her.”

“I wasn’t. I just don’t see how she could help.”

“She’s a sentient artificial intelligence. The humpback whale is another intelligence. Both are different from our own. This is an opportunity to see if she might interpret things differently and be able to translate what we, so far, have been unable to.”

“Oh, okay.” He still wasn’t entirely clear on how Eos could see anything different, but if John thought she might, there had to be a chance. John was the resident genius around here, after all. “You think it will help Virgil?”

“I don’t know. Maybe.” His brother’s shadow shrugged and lay down in the grass. “It is so quiet here.”

“Uh huh.”

And they sat for a while and just stared up into the cosmos and counting shooting stars.

“What did you want for Christmas, Alan?”

His brother’s voice startled him out of his thoughts. “Wha-?”

“It’s Christmas day after next.”

“Well, yeah.”

“I was just wondering if you had any last minute additions to your Christmas wish list.”

“John, I haven’t had a Christmas wish list since I discovered you guys were Santa Claus and wouldn’t give me a rocket ship for Christmas.”

His brother snorted. “You had plenty of rocket ships for Christmas.”

“A real one.”

“You fly a real one, Alan. You got your wish eventually.”

Okay, so that was true, but honestly discovering Scott and Virgil stashing presents under the Christmas tree at 2am had been a traumatic experience for a nine year old.

“Yeah, well, what more could I ask for? I’ve got everything possible.”

His brother fell silent and Alan regretted it immediately, the not-possible list included things that his older brothers wanted more than anything to give him. To give themselves.

“I mean, I’ve got you guys. We’re billionaires. We do great stuff. Really, we’ve got pretty much everything.” How could he say this? “Like, don’t get me wrong, I love the stuff you guys give me, it’s just, there are more important things, you know?”

“I know.” John’s voice was quiet.

They fell silent again.

“So you don’t want that portrait of you Virgil has finally finished?”

“He finished it?!”

John snorted. “Maybe.”

“Is it good?”

“Are you kidding me?”

“Well, there was last time.”

“You asked for that.”

“I did not!”

“Even I could see from space you were being a right prod.”

“I was a little enthusiastic, that’s all.”

“You were being an idiot.”

“He painted a Salvador Dali of my head!”

“Do you even know who Salvador Dali is?”

“No, but Scott was very descriptive!”

Another snort. “Does Scott know who Salvador Dali is?”

Alan pulled out his phone and lit up the dark as he pulled up a net search. The images associated with the name were weird, but strangely interesting. “I see the resemblance.”

“You should check out Van Gogh, then.”

“What? Why? Isn’t he the guy with the missing ear?”

How did he know John was rolling his eyes when he couldn’t see them?

“Just look him up.” There was that annoying tolerant tone his older brothers often used on him.

“Fine.” So he did. “Really?” His brother had painted his last portrait attempt...before Max destroyed it - the fallout from that had been massive - in a very similar style to the ear guy. “Why?”

“You would have to ask Virgil that question.”

Alan stared at several of Van Gogh’s self-portraits and their swirly paint marks. It was nothing like the style Virgil had used to paint the whales. Had his brother been mocking him again?

Ah, who knows.

But John had indicated that Virgil might have finished his latest painting...

Another shooting star tore across the sky.

“So what do you what for Christmas?” Fair’s fair that he ask his brother the same question in return.

John sighed. “To be honest, I think I’ve already got it.”

“What?”

“Time.”

“Huh?”

“Grandma was right. We needed time.”

“You wanted to be grounded for Christmas?”

“No. But this has been good.”

“Being stuck on a boat together?”

Quiet. “Yeah. I know it hasn’t been your thing-“

“Hey, I love you guys. It’s you who can’t seem to stay with us any length of time.”

Oh, um, he hadn’t meant to say that.

“Alan?”

“Well, you are always going back up to Five early. We hardly ever see you anymore. I know the gravity thing sucks, but I miss you.”

“You can always visit me.”

“I do, but the rest of the guys can’t always do that.”

“Because we are always busy. Grandma saw that and that’s why she grounded us.”

“You didn’t go willingly.”

“No.”

“Yet now you agree with her.”

“Hindsight is twenty-twenty.”

The silence fell again along with two more meteors. Alan briefly wondered if the object Elspeth had been tracking through the solar system was increasing the Earth’s meteoroid collection at the moment. It would be an interesting topic of discussion in the morning if it was. “Eos on meteor watch?”

“As always and yes, there has been a small increase, but she reports nothing of concern.”

It was always convenient to have an eye in the sky for such random questions.

Conversation fell into a lull at that point, both brothers happy to just stare up into the sky. Alan was at the point of almost nodding off, when they were interrupted by the sound of footsteps on grass.

“Hey, guys, watcha doin’?”

Gordon.

“What does it look like?” Was it wrong to feel interrupted and a little possessive of his time with John?

“Ooh, excuse me. Virgil and I will just go our merry way elsewhere then.”

“Hey!” Yes, John, ever considerate of his brothers then proceeded to invite them to their patch of grass. Apparently, Sam and Liam had called it a night and their two brothers had consequently come looking for their missing brothers.

Gordon parked his butt right next to Alan as Virgil lowered himself with a sigh on the other side of John. His spacebro muttered some concern at the convalescent which was replied with the mandatory ‘I’m fine!’ God, the guy needed a t-shirt with those words printed on it. One that glowed in the dark for all occasions.

“So, you guys talking balls of burning gas?”

“Beware, Gordon knows how to manage gas.” It was dry and came from the Virgil shaped shadow now stretched out on the grass.

“God, yeah, tell me about it. I was trapped with him on Three for a month once, remember? This is why you don’t see me in Four unless I’m drowning.” He loved Gordon, but that month had been...um.

“Are you saying I stink?”

“Yeah! Do you have any idea what all that canned cheese does to your digestive system?”

-o-o-o-

John had to smile. The silence of the stars was shattered with the addition of extra brothers. The distant and giant balls of gas still shone down on him, but his soundscape was no longer lacking.

“Where’s Scott?” Virgil’s voice was quiet on his right.

“Disappeared with Ms Fisher about an hour ago. I think we may be looking at number thirty-three.”

“Thirty-five.”

“Fine, count the goose, but I don’t know where you are getting the other missing number from.”

“You don’t need to know.”

“Virgil?”

A snort. “Don’t worry about it. This is Scott we’re talking about. He has his own stress relief methods.”

“Which reminds me, you owe me fifty bucks.”

“Nah, you cheated.”

“Cheated?”

“You stole his phone.”

“On orders from Grandma.”

“Yeah, well, that accelerated the issue to your advantage. I’m calling foul.”

“Sore loser.”

“Cheater.”

“Such a harsh word.”

“Wear it.”

“Double or nothing on tomorrow morning’s contented smile?”

“Are you kidding? No contest. More a bet on how often he visits Raoul or how soon Ms Fisher gets invited to Tracy Island.”

He frowned. “Why would Scott invite her home? He’s never invited a date home before.”

“The fact we don’t find that unusual is disturbing in itself.” Virgil’s words were little more than a grumble. “Never before has an ‘interest’ been so close to home and so well known.”

“Okay, one hundred dollars says he doesn’t invite her over in the next month.”

“Deal.” Virgil’s voice dropped to a whisper. “Another fifty says Gordo freaks out.”

John snorted. “Sure. Your loss.”

Another shooting star shot across the sky as the argument about gas and cheese beside them shot into beans and brie territory and the possibility that Gordon may be lactose intolerant.

This was followed by the concept that Alan may be Gordon intolerant.

John smiled and, as he heard a laugh from his right, he concluded that yes, despite the day’s challenges and Virgil’s illness, this trip had been a great present and he was a bit sad that tomorrow would see an end to it.

-o-o-o-

End Day Three