#and then there are the baby cousins who are literally in high school but have not figured out social graces

[thesummerstorms]

Me: just trying to sit and chill and stressing a lot but over how much stuff is on my calendar

Mom and Aunt: start blowing up my phone about an impromptu family gathering I really don't want to go to and am not prepared for

Aunt: "I feel like we never do anything because I'm not spontaneous enough, so I'm trying to change that."

Me, to myself: oh FUCK no. I need at least four days notice to mentally prepare for full family gatherings.

[babydollmarauders]

COUSIN — MEDIA MANAGEMENT: BONUS EDITION

au masterlist

y/ndevils00

liked by jackhughes, lhughes_06, and 579,824 others

y/ndevils00 hi, people are more than a little confused and beginning to get suspicious and i’ve even seen a few baseless rumors about me floating around, so i’d like to clear the air;

to most people, this is ✨Sidney Crosby✨, the 1st overall pick of the 2005 draft, and captain of the Pittsburgh Penguins.

to me, this is my older cousin, Sid (or Father Sid, as i like to call him, but he says that makes him feel old… as it should, because he is.)

i haven’t been extremely open about my relation to Sid, particularly because: do you know how many embarrassing stories this man has to tell about me? but also because i’ve never wanted people to look at me any differently. i’m just y/n, and to me, this is just Sid.

but i’m about to get a little mushy. for as long as i can remember, Sidney has been my rock, my best friend, and my protector. a little fun fact for you guys, i moved in with Sidney when i was 14. sick of life in Cole Harbour, and missing my Sid, i attended high school in Pittsburgh. i did homework at Pens practices, i played high stakes games of old maid with Geno, and i got grounded by Sid for sneaking out (and usually got ungrounded by the next day because… who can stay mad at THIS face?). Sid was the first person i told about thinking of going into social media management in the NHL, and he was also the one who told me to go after my dreams and never let anyone tell me i couldn’t.

when i was born, Sidney, at 14, immediately took his role as big cousin a step further. in his eyes, i wasn’t just his little cousin, but a second sister. and 22 years later, he says i’m the reason for his gray hairs (you’re welcome!). i couldn’t have asked for a better cousin, big brother, and father figure all wrapped up in one.

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user66 JACK HUGHES IS DATING SIDNEY CROSBY’S COUSIN?!

jackhughes you were the cutest child, and i’m so glad you love Sidney. but it’s still a bit weird walking through our apartment and having his grad picture hanging up in the hallway

y/ndevils00 that sounds like a you problem <3

jackhughes i’m taking it down

y/ndevils00 YOU WILL NOT!

jackhughes you’re not here! you can’t stop me!

user27 AWWW LITTLE Y/N WITH COUSIN SID 🥹

user83 i thought she couldn’t skate?

y/ndevils00 i can’t, that’s why Sid is picking me up 🥲 that was the first, last, and only ‘skating with sid’ i ever did— he gave up on me pretty quickly

jackhughes i can’t say i blame him

y/ndevils00 @/jackhughes aren’t you supposed to love me unconditionally?

jackhughes not yet, we aren’t married

y/ndevils00 @/jackhughes and who’s fault is that?

trevorzegras i’m never forgiving you

y/ndevils00 oh god, what did i do?

trevorzegras YOU TOLD HIM TO PUSH ME

y/ndevils00 i did not! you’re spreading lies on my name 🤧

trevorzegras HE LITERALLY PUSHED ME AND SAID “Y/N SAID TO DO THAT”

y/ndevils00 well he’s old and senile and didn’t know what he was talking about

john.marino97 i’m telling him you said that

y/ndevils00 @/john.marino97 tell him. i’m not scared of him!

y/ndevils00 @/john.marino97 YOU ACTUALLY TOLD HIM?! HOW COULD YOU BETRAY ME LIKE THIS?! I’M PRETTY SURE HE JUST GROUNDED ME?? AND IDK HOW BUT I KNOW HE’LL FIND A WAY TO SEE IT THROUGH

user15 y/n getting getting grounded by Sid even at 22 and no longer living with him is so… 😭😭

jackhughes i’ve been recruited. give John your phone for the next 24 hours

y/ndevils00 NO!

jackhughes okay, then iceberg goes in the microwave

y/ndevils00 NO! YOU CAN’T DO THAT! HE’S A PENGUIN, HE HAS TO BE COLD! DON’T MAKE HIM GO THROUGH GLOBAL WARMING

jackhughes he’s a stuffed penguin…

y/ndevils00 can you just give me 20 more minutes? 🥺

jackhughes 20 minutes and then you hand it over

user07 “my sid��� oh look i’m crying 🥹

ryangraves27 Crosby told me to tell you to give John your phone?

y/ndevils00 RYAN!! MY SWEET VAMPIRE BABY!! I’VE MISSED YOU!!

ryangraves27 1) i’m older than you. 2) i’m still not a vampire. 3) we text every week and you saw me tonight after the game.

y/ndevils00 aww you’re still just as stoic and bland as a piece of white bread 🫶🥹

ryangraves27 just give John your phone, please. i’m begging now.

y/ndevils00 aww even your begging is boring!

user64 but… does that mean her last name is Crosby?

y/ndevils00 indeed! y/n Crosby! can you believe Jack never caught onto the fact that i’m related to Sid until i TOLD him AFTER we started dating?

jackhughes HEY! i wasn’t gonna assume! Crosby isn’t a super uncommon last name! and i’m not the only one because nobody else on the team has just assumed you’re related to him either!

y/ndevils00 @/dawson1417 ah, yes, Dawson fainted when he found out!

dawson1417 I DIDN’T FAINT! I TOOK A NAP!

y/ndevils00 @/dawson1417 whatever you have to tell yourself in order to keep your dignity <3

dawson1417 YOU TEXTED AND TOLD ME RIGHT BEFORE MY PRE-GAME NAP BEFORE MY FIRST GAME AGAINST THE PENS??

y/ndevils00 @/dawson1417 and then in your 8th game against them, you got your first hatty!! and i was so proud!!

user90 HUGHES X CROSBY COUPLE— WE ALL KNEW JACK AND Y/N WERE A HOT AND POWERFUL COUPLE BUT OH MY GOD

e.malkin71geno Miss you little one always

y/ndevils00 i’m always missing you, uncle G!! and missing Nikita even more!!

e.malkin71geno Crosby say give your phone to Marino

y/ndevils00 well you can tell Sid i said he’s not the boss of me anymore!

e.malkin71geno try me, kid - Sidney

y/ndevils00 shit, no, nevermind

user39 NOT Y/N GETTING CROSBY TO USE SOCIAL MEDIA ON GENO’S PHONE IN ORDER TO THREATEN HER

lhughes_06 still kinda bizarre tbh. how did Sidney Crosby have a hand in raising your wild ass

y/ndevils00 his routines are what made me this way!

_quinnhughes how?

y/ndevils00 @/_quinnhughes they’re how i learned that i prefer chaos and fun <3

edwards.73 YOU’RE A CROSBY?!

y/ndevils00 yes??

edwards.73 SO A CROSBY IS SCARED OF ADAM FANTILLI?!

y/ndevils00 DON’T SAY HIS NAME, YOU’LL SUMMON HIM

adamfantilli i promise i’m nice! you met me this summer, you know i am!

y/ndevils00 LUCA SAID YOU BITE

jackhughes so do you? constantly.

john.marino97 Sid introducing me to you 4 years ago is both a blessing and a curse ♥️

y/ndevils00 AWWWW THAT’S SO SWEET

john.marino97 now give me your phone

y/ndevils00 see you guys on saturday 😪 guess i’m going on a 24hour phone detox

user74 BYE! I’LL MISS YOU TOMORROW!!

john.marino97 and i won’t! finally, silence on my instagram!

[atinylittlepain]

Crush On You

no outbreak!joel miller x fem!reader

Hungry Hearts masterlist

The summer of '86, a season of love, record-breaking heat, and evening softball games in one Austin neighborhood. What happens when seventeen years later, that lost love comes back around?

warnings | 18+ cursing, smut, young joel is a goddamn menace

wordcount | 9K

a/n | hi folks, i come bearing part two of my hungry hearts series. she's long, okay? i'm sorry, the spirit of young joel possessed me what can i say. hope y'all enjoy this one, come tell me what you think in my inbox! also much love, much thanks to my trenchcoat brother @northernbluess for beta-reading this baby - love you, cousin

.....................................

“Well, well, look who has graced us with her presence. How’d you scare her out of hiding, Miller?”

“Oh, you know, black mail, extortion, a cattle prod.” Her scowl is lost on the pair as Mikey Donahue pulls Joel into a hug that’s more of a gruff back slap than anything else before promptly putting a beer in his hand. Meanwhile, she’s already regretting her decision to come along, trying to temper her grimace when Mikey hooks his arm around her shoulders to crush her into his side, grinning big and boozy down at her.

“Good to see you, big city. College suits you.” She has to laugh, seeing as Mikey didn’t have the time of day for her in high school and now he seems to be all too intent on laying the charm on thick.

“Thanks, Mikey, that’s real, uh, kind of you.” Before Mikey can reply with what she’s sure would be an equally charming remark, Joel curls his fingers in the neck of his t-shirt to pry him away from her, steering him further into the house.

“Alright, Mike, don’t scare her off, I just got her in the door. C’mon, man, I was promised a keg stand here.” All she gets from Joel is one more glance over his shoulder before she has been left entirely alone in a sea of her old classmates, with quite literally no escape route, considering she drove here in Joel’s rusted-out pick-up truck. 

She fields a few polite hellos, trying her best to move through the house as unnoticed as possible to get to the backyard and away from the smell of sweat and socially anxious bodies. Mercifully, there’s only a few people outside, couples all tangled up and people smoking around the edge of the pool. She forgot Mikey Donahue had a pool, though she supposes his parents were always notorious for their money and how visible they made it. 

This wasn’t her scene in high school, and it certainly isn’t now. Honestly, she’s not sure why she agreed to go with Joel in the first place. Oh yeah, Lisa-Anne. She kind of wishes she let Lisa-Anne have this one. 

“Hey, big city, there you are!” Mikey again, this time with no Joel to wrangle him off and away from her. He really is the quintessential all-american boy, home from some expensive east coast school that she can’t remember the name of, the whole blonde and blue eye thing, floppy and smiley like a well-bred golden retriever. She isn’t quite sure where this sudden chumminess with her has come from, they certainly didn’t run in the same circles as teenagers. But there isn’t much room to ponder it when he has once again slung his arm around her, his face so close to hers that she can smell the pabst blue ribbon he probably just tossed back. 

“Remind me what you’re studying all the way up in Chicago?” She knows for a fact that drunk Mikey has a temper, like, punching holes in the walls of his parents’ basement temper, so she makes no move to push him away, though she’d really like nothing more right now, trying and failing to create even an inch more of distance between them. Mikey doesn’t like that, dropping his arm to sling low around her waist, his fingers brushing against the bare skin between her jean shorts and where the fabric of her t-shirt has rucked up. 

“I’m studying English.” It comes out smaller and quieter than she would like it to, her throat tightening with something like panic at Mikey’s continued advancements. On his part, Mikey seems to find the whole thing amusing, tossing his head back in a hard laugh.

“That’s right, always a little bookworm, weren’t you? Tell me this, what the hell can you even do with an English degree, big city?” 

“You can do a lot of things with an English degree, Mike.” She’s just pissed off enough to finally yank out of his grip, sending him stumbling a few feet back, though he’s quick to recover with a laugh that sounds a little less friendly. 

“I know it’s been a while since you’ve been home, big city, so I’m gonna do you a favor and pretend like that was just an accident.” 

“Hey, Mike, where’d you go, man?” She’s never been so happy to hear Joel’s voice in her life, she thinks, taking one more subtle step back as he sidles up next to Mikey and slings his arm around his shoulders. The light from inside the house casts shadows over Joel’s forearm where it’s draped against Mikey’s chest, and she can see the tendons jumping there from how hard he’s holding onto him, though it otherwise looks like a friendly embrace.

“Was just catching up with that one, Miller, so you can fuck right off, thanks.” And there it is. She feels herself wince with the bite of Mikey’s words, though Joel stays completely calm, a placid and altogether unsettling smile quirking up his mouth. 

“I think you’ve had enough to drink, man. Why don’t you leave the nice girl alone and go sleep it off before you do something you’re gonna regret?” She should probably do something other than stand there and stare at what is probably, definitely about to become a bad scene, a small crowd starting to form around them already. But she feels frozen where she stands, her eyes darting between Mikey’s sneer, and Joel’s ticking jaw. 

“And who’s gonna make me regret it, Miller, huh? You?” Because they are apparently still children, the crowd of people let out a low chorus of ooooh at that. And then for a moment it’s perfectly silent and perfectly still, Joel and Mikey staring each other down in a strange, half-way thing between an embrace and a strangle-hold. But by the time she blinks again, the both of them have swung, Mikey missing and Joel making clipped contact with the side of Mikey’s jaw. It’s just enough to send Mikey stumbling back and over the edge of the pool, and because he’s still got a fist clenched in Joel’s shirt, he gets yanked in after him. 

The crowd is quick to disperse after such a disappointing climax to their little spat, and while Mikey hauls himself out of the pool on the other side like a drowned cat, she finds herself offering out her hand to an equally sodden Joel. He drips all over her sneakers when he gets out, his flannel clinging to his torso, damp and darkened, something she tries not to pay too much attention to. 

“You okay?” 

“I’m not the one who just fell into a pool.” He drags a hand through his hair to get it slicked back out of his face, water still dripping off the tip of his nose as he looks at her. For a moment, she thinks that he looks small, a slight shiver in his shoulders, his eyes wide and his lashes all stuck together. He looks young, and he’s looking at her and only her. 

“I’m fine, Cher, let’s get out of here, huh? This party is dead anyways.” With a quick shake back of his shoulders and a thumb swiped under his nose, that familiar front has already slipped back into place. But she’s fine with it if it means they’re going to get out of this place, letting Joel lead the barreling way back through the house, his sneakers squeaking and squelching with every step. And even though he looks ridiculous, dripping all over the hardwood floors of Mikey’s parents’ house, he keeps his chin tilted up like he owns the place and his shoulders squared off as broad as his leanness will allow, easily parting a path for them through the crowd and out onto the front lawn. 

Neither of them speak when they get into the car, leaving the radio off as the engine splutters to life and they start winding their way back out of the wealthy neighborhood. She wants to say something, to thank him, to ask him if he’s sure that he’s okay, but she can’t find the right words, twisting her hands in her lap and watching the way the truck’s headlights spill out over the road. 

“So you’re really going for it out in Chicago?” His voice breaking the silence startles her out of her simmering mind, and when she glances over at him, he only offers her a quick side sweep of his eyes before he focuses back on the road. 

“You said you’re studying English?” He heard that? How long was he watching her and Mikey?

“Oh, um, yeah, yes.” She keeps her focus on the knuckles of his hand draped over the top of the steering wheel, a subtle tension and flexion to his grip.

“Gonna be a big shot writer, right? That was always your dream, wasn’t it?”

“When I was a kid, yeah. I don’t know, I’ll probably end up teaching, though I think my parents expect me to just wind up married and pregnant by the end of it anyways.” He snorts at that, shaking his head though he keeps his eyes on the road. 

“You were always writing stories, Cherry.”

“Uh-huh.” Honestly, she’s surprised he held onto that fact, the ratty composition books she carried around everywhere as a child, and well into her teens too. 

“Ever write one about me?” 

“Oh, sure.” 

“Wait, really?” His eyes finally dart over to her, eyebrows shot up his forehead and she has to bite back a laugh.

“Yeah, it was about your astonishing humility and non-existent ego.” She can barely get it out with a straight face, already dissolving into another laugh as Joel rolls his eyes at her dig. 

“Alright, alright, guess I walked into that one.” They’ve just pulled up in front of her house, Joel flicking off the headlights so her parents don’t notice. For once, she’s in no hurry to get away from him, an honestly foreign feeling as they sit in his truck. He’s still soaking wet, his hair starting to stick up every which way from how it’s drying, though he seems perfectly content to keep staring at her, something like a smile twitching at the corners of his mouth. 

“You don’t like being home very much, do you, Cherry?” 

“I really don’t, no.” She says it on a long sigh, no idea why she’s inclined to be honest with him like that. 

“How come?” 

“I feel like no one takes me seriously down here.” 

“I do.”

“Joel.”

“What? I do.”

“How can that possibly be true when you still call me a name that came from me snorting soda out of my nose?” 

“Okay, maybe originally it came from that, but that’s not why I call you it now, not really.”

“Please enlighten me then, why do you call me that?” His brow furrows for a moment, like he’s choosing his words carefully, opening and closing his mouth a few times before he finally answers.

“Because– because I just do, okay? But I do take you seriously, for the record.” She leans her head back on the seatrest, tilting her chin to look at him where he has his arm hanging over the steering wheel, his full body leaning and twisting toward her.

“Yeah?”

“Uh-huh, and I’m gonna want a signed copy of your first book.”

“Oh please.”

“I’m dead serious, Cher. I probably won’t read it, but I reckon it’ll be worth something when you get all famous and shit.”

“Lovely, Joel, thanks so much for that.” He shrugs, though his gaze stays steady with hers, and it happens again, that softening around the edges, that kid she remembers. And again, it’s gone in a flash, Joel suddenly leaning toward her in an unexpected way. And, well, she reacts before she can really think.

“Jesus! What the fuck, Cher?” He has bodily recoiled from her back into the driver’s side, his palm cupping his cheek where she just landed a hard smack with the flat of her hand. 

“Me what the fuck? You what the fuck? What the hell was that, Joel?”

“I don’t– I thought we were having a– a nice moment!” She goes to open the passenger side door, but Joel is quick to reach over and shut it again like a petulant child, eliciting a bitter laugh from her.

“We were until you pulled that shit. I’m not one of your little housewives that you can do whatever you want with.” This time, he doesn’t try to stop her when she clambers out of the truck, though he isn’t quite finished yet. 

“Oh c’mon, Cherry! This ain’t playing fair!” She quickly shushes him before he starts to wake up half the neighborhood with his exclamations, only staying close enough to the car so she can whisper yell back at him.

“I’m not playing, Joel. Do me a favor and just stay away from me, why don’t you?”

…

While Sarah may not be the strongest batter, which is okay because Joel is working with her on it most afternoons, she makes for a mean third baseman, though part of him secretly wishes she played shortstop more often. And though he’s usually busy shouting reminders and tips at her from the bleachers, Joel is a bit preoccupied today watching something else, or someone else is more like it. 

He’s never been so pissed at chain link fencing in his life for obscuring his view of her, standing in front of the bleachers with her arms crossed and her hip cocked out as she watches the game from behind sunglasses and a ball cap. But he’s also never been more grateful for the Austin swelter because it means that she’s in a tank top and jean shorts, and he’s pretty sure his mind is starting to short-circuit because it looks to him like Cherry picked up some tattoos in the last seventeen years. He can’t tell what they are from this distance, something wrapped over her right shoulder and down her bicep, and, fuck him, something on the top of her right thigh. So maybe he’s craning his neck a little to try to make out what the ink is, and maybe he should be paying more attention to the game, because when there’s suddenly some sort of scuffle on the field between the umpire and one of Sarah’s coaches, he has no clue what he missed. 

“That was an out, are you kidding me? She tagged her!” He’s sitting close enough to third that he’s pretty sure it’s Ellie, at least he thinks that was her name, who the umpire and the coach are arguing over whether Sarah got her out or not before she stepped on third. Yeah, definitely Ellie, because here comes Cherry from the bleachers on the other side. 

“Her foot was on the base when she tagged her, that wasn’t an out!” The umpire looks at Cherry with an amount of exasperation that tells Joel they’ve interacted before. Cherry, meanwhile, has her cap off and her sunglasses slanted down her nose to look at the ump with all the kindness of a parole officer.

“Ma’am please let us handle this and return to the bleachers.” He’s not sure why he decides to get involved, it’s not like he actually saw what happened. But the combination of it being Sarah who either did or didn’t get Ellie out and his own small desire to get a little closer to Cherry, regardless of the context, has him up off the bleachers and hooking his fingers through the chain link fence. 

“I’m pretty sure it was an out, I had a better view of it than you did, Cher.” Judging by the way she scoffs and shakes her head, he probably shouldn’t have called her that, though there isn’t much time to ponder that when she’s walking over to him and getting as up in his face as she can with the thin mesh of chain link separating them. 

“Don’t Cher me, Joel.”

“Mom, please, it’s fine, I’m pretty sure she got me before I tagged up.” Ellie and Sarah both look pretty ready for this situation to be over, huffing and rolling their eyes at their parents’ strange display. 

“Els, you are not out, okay? You’re gonna stay on third and the game is gonna get going again–”

“Always were a sore loser.” It just slips out, and it isn’t even true. He was the sore loser, and he knows it, and judging by the way Cherry whips back around to glare at him, he has just incurred her admittedly deserved wrath. 

“Oh, that is real rich coming from you, Joel Miller, you are–”

“Alright, folks, we don’t have time for this and I’m going to have to ask you both to wait in the parking lot while we finish this game.”

“What?” They say it at nearly the same time to the umpire, who just shakes his head at them and points toward the parking lot next to the ball field. 

“Both of you, out of here, or I’m going to disqualify both of your girls from playing.” Well, really no arguing with that, especially not when Sarah and Ellie are giving them both pleading looks from behind the umpire. Cherry doesn’t give him another look, simply mutters an apology to the umpire before heading off toward the parking lot. And all he can do is sheepishly follow behind her with his own apology and a gruff play well offered to Sarah who just rolls her eyes at him.

No, not exactly what he had in mind for their second meeting.

He probably shouldn’t, but since he already seems to be playing the fool, he figures he doesn’t have much to lose in approaching her where she’s sitting in the popped-open trunk of her minivan, her sunglasses pushed up to the crown of her head and her legs swinging idly over the lip of the trunk. 

“I’m, uh, sorry about all that.” Her eyebrows raise, a weary look that makes something hot and slippery curl in his gut, a little bashful under her gaze. 

“I am too, I guess. They probably shouldn’t let us on the field together, huh?” Her words crack a bit dryly with the curl of her smile, instant relief washing over him in mirroring her expression. 

“No, I reckon not.” She doesn’t say anything more, just scoots her hips to one side and pats the space next to her, an invitation he tries not to seem so eager to take as he sits down beside her. Close enough now that he can get a better look at the tattoo on her arm and her thigh. Something beating hard in his chest and tightening up his throat when he realizes that it’s a bouquet of chrysanthemums etched into her thigh. And on her arm, spiraling over her bicep and across her shoulder is a branch of a cherry tree.

…

There’s no other option on a Sunday. She wishes more than anything that there was, but she knows that everywhere else is closed. 

“Thatcher’s auto and towing, how can I help you?” She hasn’t spoken to him in two weeks, not since that night they went to Mikey Donahue’s party. She even started picking Will up herself for dinner to avoid having him anywhere near her, pointedly ignoring the his shouts of her name from the ball field whenever she does. So hearing his voice gives her pause, and she nearly hangs the payphone back up, but she really has no other option right now.

“Uh, hi, my car broke down and I need to get it towed.”

“Cherry?” 

“Um, yes?” There’s a long pause on the other end, though she’s pretty sure she can hear him let out a deep sigh. 

“Shit, okay, where are you?”

“I’m out by the new mall, um, I think right off of eighth street? I don’t know what’s wrong with it, honestly it just sort of– gave out on me.” 

“Alright, I’ll be there in five, just stay right where you are.” 

“Well, I can’t exactly go anywhere else, Joel.” She can hear the sound of something metal clanging around in the background, followed by Joel letting out a low curse.

“Right, yeah, just hang tight.” With that, he hangs up with a quiet click, and all that’s left to do is walk the two blocks back to her car. Technically, it’s her mom’s car, her old station wagon that had been given to her as a graduation gift, dark green with wood paneling and a dent in the back bumper that she has somehow managed to hide from both of her parents for a year now. She gives the car another once over, definitely nothing wrong with her tires, and she’s not even going to pretend like she’d know what’s going on under the hood, so she settles against the side of the car door and bides her time watching the slow trickle of traffic pass by.

It’s the middle of the afternoon, another record-breaking day of heat, she’s pretty sure. At least it feels that way, her eyes set in a perpetual squint under the hard beat of the sun as she swipes at the sweat on her forehead with the back of her wrist. Though mercifully she’s not waiting for long when a truck with the Thatcher’s Auto logo on the side comes pulling up alongside where she had managed to park her car on the shoulder of the road. He hops out of the truck, dressed in a pair of coveralls with the sleeves tied around his waist, a white wife beater on top that’s smeared with grease stains, and she has to remind herself that she’s still pissed at him when his dimple pops with a sheepish smile as he approaches her, tugging the baseball cap off his head to run a hand through his hair before settling his hat on backwards.

“Hey, Cherry, um, how– how have you been?” 

“I’ve been better, Joel, considering that my car won’t even start.” Nope, she’s not going to give him anything else, setting her jaw in a hard line and jerking her chin back over her shoulder as if to say get on with it. Joel seems to take the hint, giving her a jerky nod before taking a quick look around her car. 

“Well, your tires look fine. Lemme pop the hood and see if it’s anything obvious.” She hopes more than anything that it is something obvious, that she isn’t going to have to drive back to the shop with him, but judging by the way Joel lets the hood close with a shake of his head, she doesn’t think she has gotten so lucky. 

“I don’t know, Cher, I think you’re gonna have to come back to the shop with me so I can take a closer look.” She pinches the bridge of her nose, trying to hold back a frustrated groan before she finally looks at Joel again. 

“Okay, fine, and how long is that gonna take, do you think?”

“Got a few other cars I have to take care of first, but it shouldn’t be too long. You okay to wait at the shop?”

“I don’t think I have much of a choice, so yeah.” She waits in the cab of the truck while Joel hitches her car up, keeping her eyes flicked down and out of the passenger window when he gets back in. 

“You giving me the silent treatment?”

“No, I just don’t have anything to say to you.” She doesn’t look at him as she says it, but she can hear the huff of a sigh he lets out before he cranks the truck into drive. He doesn’t try to talk to her for the rest of the drive, and she keeps her arms crossed pointedly in front of her chest, her whole body angled toward the passenger-side door. However, when they pull into the garage at Thatcher’s and she tries to get out, the lock on her door promptly clicks down and the handle won’t budge. 

“Can we just talk for a second, Cher?” She pries the lock back open, but just as soon as she does, Joel clicks it back into place, forcing her to finally glare at him. His brow is furrowed and his knee is bouncing in his seat, and if she didn’t know any better, she’d guess that he’s nervous. 

“Fine, what is so important that you have to lock me into your truck like a goddamn serial killer?”

“Wouldn’t have had to if you weren’t being so goddamn stubborn to begin with.” She lets out a clipped bark of laughter at that, once again pulling the lock up on her own to try to get out, and once again, like a deranged comedy act, he clicks it back into place before she can even get her fingers around the handle. 

“Joel Miller, I swear to God, if you don’t let me out of this car right now I’m going to scream.”

“I just– just– fuck, Cherry, I’m sorry, okay? I wanted to say that I’m sorry.” That gives her pause. There have been only two other times in her life that Joel has apologized to her. The first time was when they were eight years old, and really, she thinks, it shouldn’t count because his mom forced him to, her hand between his small shoulder blades nudging him forward to say sorry for pulling on her braid from the pew behind her at church and making her cry. 

The second time, they were ten. That one does count. She was sitting on the swings at the playground down the street, scribbling in her notebook when a little crew of boys in the grade above her came out of nowhere and started heckling her. Joel showed up on his bike as she was picking up the tattered pages and scraps of what had been the story she was working on in her notebook. She remembers that she was trying really hard not to cry in front of him when he knelt down beside her to help her gather the torn pieces, small hands trying to make it right. He had nothing to be sorry for, but he still said that he was real sorry, Cher, quiet, and sounding much older and wearier than a ten-year-old should. That one counts. But otherwise, those words coming out of his mouth have been non-existent, so she can’t help but fall silent to hear just what he has to say. 

“You’re sorry?” He takes off his cap again, setting it down on the dash of the truck and dragging his hand back through his hair, very clearly having to work himself up to saying it again when he finally looks at her.

“Yeah, I’m sorry about what happened after Mikey’s party. I just– I thought that you–”

“Thought that I what? Did you really think I was going to be that easy, Joel?”

“What? No, if you would just let me finish speaking for Christ’s sake, I know that’s kind of difficult for you and your big mouth–”

“Wow, Joel, you really know how to apologize to a girl, huh?” With that, he slams the heel of his hand against the steering wheel, letting out a sharp curse that makes any other smart remarks fizzle out in her throat. 

“You know what, Cher? Just forget it. You can go wait in the office and I’ll have your car ready for you as soon as I can.” He finally unlocks the car door, and she’s more than happy to get out and slam it behind her.

“Fine.”

“Yeah, fine.”

…

“So is your wife not a fan of softball?”

“My what?” 

“Your wife, does she not like coming to games?” All he can do is laugh for a moment, pure disbelief at her question, and when he finally looks at her again, her brow still furrowed in confusion, he shakes his head with a huff.

“Is that like a funny question or something?” Just a little snap of annoyance behind her words, though he’s quick to respond, holding out his left hand in between them, his decidedly ringless left hand. 

“A little bit considering there is no wife.” It’s the middle of the fourth inning from what he can tell, still plenty of time for them to be not allowed on the field, sitting in the back of Cherry’s car. 

“Oh, but– was there one? I mean, Sarah’s mom?” 

“Uh, no, she’s not in the picture, at all.”

“I’m sorry.” 

“Don’t be. But, uh, what about you? I mean– is Ellie’s– is your, uh–” She cuts off his floundering with a nudge of her shoulder against his, a tight smile on her lips.

“Not in the picture.”

“At all?”

“Never, doesn’t even know Ellie exists.”

“Shit, Cher, that had to have been hard.” She laughs, a clipped sound in the back of her throat as she slides her sunglasses back down onto her nose, keeping her gaze out on the field in front of them. He quickly does the math in his head, pretty sure that Ellie and Sarah are the same age, something heavy and hot settling in his chest when he realizes that she would have only been twenty-two when she had her daughter, just like him. It’s an aching fact, one that his mind starts to swim with, though her voice pulls him out of it quickly.

“It definitely wasn’t easy, but I’d like to think I’ve done alright.”

“I’ll say, it seems like every year there’s a new book of yours in the news for being a bestseller.” She turns to look at him at that, her eyebrows raised and her lips parted before settling into a slight smile.

“Have you read any of them?” 

“I didn’t think you’d want me to.” His answer seems to stop her, her face falling behind the darkness of her sunglasses, though she’s quick to catch herself with a breathy humph before turning her eyes back on the field in the distance. He wishes he could tuck those words back in his throat, try that again if only to keep her eyes on him. 

“Are your folks still in town?”

“Oh yeah, dinner every Sunday with them still.” She hums, a light sound that curls with her smile, though she still doesn’t look at him. 

“That must be nice.”

“I think ma would throw a parade if she knew you were back in town.”

“Oh please.”

“I’m dead serious, Cher.” There, she looks at him again, her smile turning crooked as she nudges her shoulder against his, an easy moment that still makes his heart kick up in his chest. 

“And Tommy’s still around? Miller’s Construction, right?” He must have a funny look on his face when she says that because she laughs again, something warm and flushed creeping into her cheeks that makes his mind go a little fritzed. 

“I promise I’m not stalking you, I was just looking for someone to come fix some stuff at the new house. Sounds like you two have done well for yourselves.” His mind still hasn’t caught up, still such a strange feeling to have her here in the present, talking about these things in the present, all these normal, very grown up things. 

“Uh, yes, yeah, we do alright. Tommy is still a fucking nuisance, but it’s good work. What’re you looking to get done?” 

“I think my back porch is all rotted out, nearly put my foot through a plank the other day. Do you have any idea how much it would cost to redo the whole thing?” 

“I’d have to come take a look, but I could redo it for you, no problem.” He has already decided how much it will cost. Nothing, not for her, though he knows if he told her that now she’d scoff and get someone else to do it who would accept payment. He’ll save that fact for after it’s finished. 

“Alright, is there a number I can call to schedule an appointment?” Oh, oh, he’s not stupid enough to let this opportunity pass him by.

“Why don’t I, uh, give you my number? It’ll be easier that way.” He knows she knows what he’s doing, her lips pursing for a moment as if to consider it, but she still slides her phone out of her back pocket and hands it over to him. He has to think really hard about what his phone number is, typing it in with a small tremor in his hand that only gets worse when he gives her phone back to her with a barely there brush of their fingers. 

“Can I ask you something?”

“Maybe, what’s the question?” 

“Why’d you come back? I don’t know where you’ve been, Cher, but I can tell you that I never expected you to come back here.” Shit, he shouldn’t have asked that, because she’s not looking at him again, her chin tucking down as her mouth settles in a thin grimace.

“Honestly? I don’t know. We were in Chicago for the longest time, and then New York while I was working on my last two books. And it was great while it was great, you know? But it was just too much after a while, too much for Ellie, and too much for me.” He ducks his head down, trying to catch her gaze now that her sunglasses are pushed back up into her hair.

“So you made it to New York, huh?” That gets him a grin, her eyes crinkling up under her lashes at him.

“Yeah, the big leagues and all that shit.”

“How was it?”

“Lonely. I think I would have lost my mind if I didn’t have Ellie.” His heart twinges and then swells in his chest because he hates to hear that, and is also relieved to hear that, and then he hates himself for being relieved to hear that. That there wasn’t anyone else. 

“For what it’s worth, Cherry, I’m real glad to see you back here again.” No, that didn’t come out quite right, and he has to stop himself from physically wincing when she gives him a furrowed look in response. 

“I find that a little hard to believe, Joel.”

“Why?”

“Well, we didn’t exactly part on the best of terms, did we?” He feels a long sigh leave his lungs, and she’s already hopping out of the trunk and brushing her hands down the front of her shorts as if to shake the conversation off.

“I am sorry, Cher, I–”

“Don’t, Joel. Don’t do that.” She shakes her head hard at him, eyes fierce for a moment before she slips her sunglasses back into place. 

“Well I am.” 

“Well I don’t want you to be. There’s no need for it when that was such a long time ago.” He wants to say something else, anything, but the tightness in his throat keeps the words stuck and simmering somewhere in his chest. She doesn’t look at him again, murmuring something about the game ending and wanting to help Ellie pack up, and all he can do is dumbly agree, shutting the trunk of her car and walking back toward the field a few paces behind her. Always a few paces behind her, it seems. 

…

Joel was full of shit. Something about fixing her car as soon as he could, something about it not taking too long. Yeah, bullshit. She has been sitting in the front office of the auto shop for the last three hours, trying and failing to get some writing done in her notebook amidst the seemingly ceaseless sounds of whirring drills, clanking and crashing metal, and the men in the garage cursing and carrying on amongst themselves. Though some of the sound has died down now that it’s just Joel working, the other men all clocking out at five o’clock. Meanwhile, he hasn’t even gotten to her car yet.

Everytime she glances into the garage, his legs are still sticking out from under a cream-colored mustang. When he does finally pop out from underneath the car, her hopes of getting out of the place soon are quickly dashed as someone pulls up to the gas pumps out front. She knows that car, a convertible in an obnoxious shade of turquoise that could only mean Maureen Henderson. Her daddy got her that car for her sixteenth birthday and she never stopped thinking she was hot shit for it ever since. 

She gets up from her cracked vinyl chair in the office to stand at the windows, trying to get a better look at their interaction. Joel is in fine form, of course, leaning down close over the driver’s side door, all grins, all popping gum with his jaw as Maureen rests a perfectly french-tipped set of fingers on his bicep. He must say something really funny for her to toss her head back like that, her teased-out hair bouncing with her tittering laugh. Joel slips around the front of the car, and, really, she thinks, is it so necessary for him to pump Maureen’s gas for her? Can Maureen really not just pump her own gas like a normal person? All a bit outdated, if you ask her. Though Maureen seems perfectly pleased with the whole production, leaning across the passenger’s side and slipping a few folded up bills into the back pocket of Joel’s coveralls while he’s turned away to set the pump back in its holster. How nauseatingly sweet of Maureen, who’s rewarded with another grin and something that must be really fucking funny for her to laugh so loud before she peels away from the shop with one more waggle of her fingers at him. Joel, meanwhile, seems in no hurry to get back to work as he moseys back into the garage, counting the bills that Maureen just tucked into his pocket with a stupid smirk on his face. Yeah, she’s seen quite enough.

“Hey, so I’m just wondering, when you said this wasn’t going to take too long, did you know that you were full of shit? Or is Maureen just that distracting?” Her eyes nearly water when she steps into the garage from the smell of motor oil and burnt rubber, though she’s a little too pissed to worry about that as she walks over to where Joel is rummaging through a tool box next to the mustang. 

“Aw, Cherry, don’t tell me you're jealous of little old Maureen.” She would like to smack his smile clean off his face, the only thing stopping her being the fact that she still needs him to fix her car. 

“I’m not jealous, Joel. I have been sitting in that office all afternoon watching you do everything except fix my car and I would like to go home now.” 

“So you’ve been watching me, huh?” 

“Christ, you really are relentless, aren’t you?” She honestly can’t believe he’s already bounced back to his incessant teasing after their little blow up in his truck, poking his tongue into the side of his cheek and squinting at her as she huffs at him.

“Alright, Cher, you’ve waited long enough. I’ll take a look.” She follows close on his heels as he sidles over to her car, popping the hood and ducking his head under to look at the engine.

“Well?” Though she has no clue what he’s looking at, she still leans over the engine next to him, searching his face for any answers.

“Hmm, oh, here’s your problem.” He twists what looks like a loose knob down into the engine, shocking her with how quickly he stands back up with a satisfied smirk on his face. 

“That– that’s it?”

“Yep, loose spark plug.”

“And you couldn’t have fixed that earlier on the side of the road?”

“No, I could have, but then you wouldn’t have come and kept me company with your death glare all afternoon.” He can barely get his words out around a laugh. But she is decidedly not laughing. It’s completely impulsive, and maybe childish, but it feels good to shove the flat of both her palms into his chest, making him stumble back against the side of the mustang parked next to her car. And since it felt so good the first time, she decides to do it again, this time with enough force for his laughs to die out with a grunted oof. 

“You’re an ass, do you know that? A huge– fucking– ass–” Each word gets punctuated with another shove, though on the last one Joel wraps his hand around her wrists, collecting them both in a tight hold and only pulling her closer against his chest when she tries to yank away from him. 

“Let go, Joel.” Their faces are so close to each other’s that she can smell the cinnamon on his breath from that Big Red gum he likes to chew, can even see the freckle tucked between his lashes underneath his right eye, the same freckle that’s been there since they were kids. 

“No.”

“No?”

“No, I’m not gonna let go.” 

“You’re a fucking child.”

“That the best you got, Cherry baby?”

“Do not call me that.”

“Or else what?” A beat, a blink, a moment for her heart to sink into her stomach and shoot straight up into her throat when they both lurch into the space between them. There’s nothing nice about the first one, in fact, it hurts a little with how hard they both press into it, her nose mashing up against his as their teeth scrape and clash with each other. They kiss ugly. They kiss angry. Both of them too stubborn to let the other one get away with anything, the moment he licks into her mouth, she tangles her fingers in the back of his hair and tugs hard, swallowing down the grunt that looses from his throat. Though her upper hand is short-lived when Joel drops both his palms down to her ass and squeezes hard, her whole body jolting in his hold and pressing closer to him. He’s probably getting grease all over her clothes, but she’s not too concerned with that as she keeps drawing low little groans out of him every time she swipes her tongue against his. 

“Wait, Cher– shit, wait– I can’t– I don’t–” She finally pulls back when he keeps mumbling, and suddenly the reality of the situation comes plummeting down on her, starting to panic when it seems like Joel has decided this was all a big mistake.

“What, what is it?”

“I want to do this right with you– your– you should have a nice first time and–”

“Wait, what?” Joel’s eyes get wide and round, his hands dropping down by his sides from where they had been holding her hips when she takes a step back from him.

“Well, I, uh– you– you’re–”

“Joel, have you just assumed that I’m a virgin?” He winces at the word like it’s a curse, and she finally has to laugh at how ridiculous this is. 

“Does that mean you’re not?”

“Just shut up, Joel.” With that, she reaches forward for his waist where the sleeves of his coveralls are tied, making quick work of the knot and rucking his pants the rest of the way down as she kneels in front of him. She tucks her fingers into the band of his boxers, unable to help her grin when she feels his stomach tense against her knuckles.

“Can I?”

“Fuck, yeah, yes– you can do whatever you want, Cherry.” She likes him like this, with his throat bobbing and a crack in his voice pitching his words up an octave, his eyes wide and watching as she tugs his boxers down. And oh, she likes him like this too. Pretty boy who’s certainly pretty all over. The narrow tanness of his hips tapers into a dark thatch of curls, and well, there’s no two ways about it, he’s big, already hard, the tip flushed a perfect pink. Only a little intimidating, but judging by the sound he makes when she suckles the head of him into her mouth, she has it under control. 

“Oh my god– fuck, okay, fuck– you– you’re good at that– Jesus.” There’s a bit too much of him to take it all into her mouth, though she does her best to bob her head down his length, her hand wrapping around what she can’t quite reach as she laps at the vein running along the underside of his cock. A fleeting thought in the back of her mind, this was not how she imagined her day going, not in any universe. But something has snapped, something that cannot be stitched back together. And now, all she feels is an aching want, pulling taut in her stomach, pulling her to him. Want, want, want. She’s never wanted something so bad in her life, she thinks. Not very ladylike to want like this, to gag with it, to dribble spit around it, to see how much more she can take just to coax another broken moan out of his chest, her palms splayed out on his hips to keep him pinned still beneath all her want. But what she didn’t consider is that he wants it just as bad and big as she does, hooking his hand around the back of her neck to pull her off of him and hoist her onto her feet, chasing after the taste of himself on her tongue as he turns them around to press her up against the side of the car. 

“That was gonna be over too fucking soon if I let you keep doing that.” His hands get a little greedy, a little desperate, fumbling to get her t-shirt off before tugging her bra up and overhead without even unclasping it, ducking his head down to let his teeth scrape and nip at the newly exposed skin. He pauses only for a moment, pulling back, his parted lips shiny and blushing and his eyes heavy as he takes her in. She can’t help but drag her hand back through his hair, something tight settling in her chest when he absent-mindedly nudges his cheek closer into the cup of her palm. 

“You’re something else, Cherry.” She doesn’t have any time to ask him just what he means by that, his lips already finding hers again, a small gasp in the back of her throat at the feeling of her nipples dragging against the fabric of his wife beater. And then it’s an awkward, slow shuffle, given that his coveralls and boxers are still pooled and pulled around his ankles, around to the front of the car, his hands finding the backs of her thighs to coax her up and onto the hood. From there his palms start to wander, one coming to cup the side of her neck before slipping down to her breast, the boyish squeeze he leaves there making her laugh, though the sound dies fast when his other hand rests heavy at the waistband of her shorts, thumbing at the button. 

“Can I touch you, Cher?” It’s entirely too earnest, the way he’s looking at her from beneath the thick fan of his lashes, a small crease between his brows. And she’s a little afraid of how her want might skitter up her throat, so instead of saying anything, she simply pulls him in by the nape of his neck for another kiss as her other hand bats his away to undo her shorts. Mercifully, it’s enough of an answer for Joel, his hand replacing hers and dipping down beneath the fabric of her panties, the broadness of his palm cupping her cunt and grinding up into her heat in a way that makes her gasp against his mouth. 

Annoyingly, he’s halfway decent at it, swiping his fingers through her cunt in a harsh rub, though she tenses up when he tries to immediately dip two of his thick fingers into her clenching entrance. 

“Jesus Christ, warm me up a little first, why don’t you?” He looks genuinely perplexed by her exclamation, his hand stilling beneath the fabric of her panties as his brow crumples in reaction. 

“What did I do wrong?” She tugs lightly at the hair at his nape, a light laugh leaving her lips when he lets out a huff like an impatient boy.

“You’re a bit harsh, Joel.”

“Well, I’ve never had any complaints before.” Said with a roll of his eyes and his hand still down her pants so really, she has a hard time taking him seriously. 

“Well, I’m complaining. Just– gentler, here.” She clasps her fingers around his wrist to pull his hand away, giving her room to shimmy her shorts and panties further down over the curve of her ass, the way Joel’s eyes instantly fall to where her legs have now splayed open a bit wider not getting lost on her. She fits her palm to the back of his hand, guiding it back to her cunt, her fingers pressing against the backs of his to direct a firm, swirling pressure to her clit. Her head tilts back on her neck as the pleasure settles over her slow and smooth, continuing to guide Joel’s hand with her own. 

“Just like that, s’perfect.” 

“Like that?” He says it so quietly, so uncharacteristically small that her attention snaps back onto him. His eyes are glued to where her hand is still moving his, lips parted, a look that borders on wonder and clear concentration, and suddenly, she can’t take her own gaze away from the sight, her head tilting on her shoulder as her hand falls away from his to let him do it on his own. 

“Yeah, Joel, feels really good like that. You can– you can add a finger now.” When he does, much slower, much softer, her eyes scrunch shut with a small curse and a sigh, and she finds herself leaning back on her elbows over the hood of the car, her whole body splayed out before him. Joel follows her slow fall, keeping a steady rhythm with his hand as he curls over her, his mouth resting hot and open between her breasts before he tilts his head to the side to take the peak of one of her nipples into his mouth. 

“That feel good, Cher?” 

“Yes, keep doing that, please. I– I’m gonna get there just like this.” Miracle, he listens, only adding another finger when she asks him for it, fucking her with his hand just how she wants him to. Miracle, she can’t tear her eyes away from his, the way he seems to be watching her face for every tell, every sigh and every fall. And miracle, she comes undone for him slowly, a cry catching in her throat when it finally hits her, the easiest unraveling. He only stops when she whines for him to, tugging his hand away and pulling him down for a kiss that’s more just two open mouths laying over each other than anything else. 

“Can we? Do you want to?”

“Yes, I want to.”

“Condom?”

“Birth control.”

“Gotta love women’s lib.” 

“Just don’t tell my mom.”

“Please don’t talk about your mom right now, Cher.”

“Sorry.”

“It’s okay, just come here.” He struggles a bit to tug her shorts and panties off of her feet, the fabric getting caught on her sneakers, though when he’s finally successful it’s the easiest thing for his hips to slot with hers, his hands curling around the backs of her knees to hitch her legs around his waist. Her arms settle loosely around his shoulders, laying back and bringing him with her as he presses his cock against her swollen cunt. A quick snarl of pain that pleasure snaps and smacks after when drives into her with one languid stroke, both of them letting out stuttered sighs when his hips press against hers. All of that want flickering up and down her spine as he starts to fuck into her, spreading her open again and again. 

“S’a fucking dream, you’re a fucking dream.” She almost wants to laugh at the breathless murmuring of his words, because truthfully she doesn’t think anything has ever felt this real. Her body fitting around his, the way her heart is threatening to beat a break in her ribs, the way her nails can drag down the sliding wings of his shoulder blades, and the incessant, aching heat of him throbbing so deep inside her that she thinks she’ll still feel that hurt tomorrow. She hopes that she will. 

“Joel, look at me, please.” She has to tug on his hair to coax his face out of the hollow of her throat and suddenly that want is dangerous. Looking into the crumpled pleasure painted across his face, watery eyes and slack jaw, and that want becomes dangerous because that want becomes something more. 

She can feel her slick dripping down her thighs, the sound of skin meeting skin mixing with the obscene slip of it, only a fleeting worry about making a mess of the car, though that flits away when Joel drags his fingers back over her clit a little harder, a little greedier.

“Just want one more, Cher, please.” She likes please on his tongue. Please pushes her right over the edge. A little harder this time, a little more ragged, furling up tight and taut around him before everything melts down with a whine of his name. He’s still saying please like a prayer when he comes, and all she can do is sigh with the warmth spreading inside of her. Inhale, exhale, her ribs expanding as his contract, a careful, quiet dance as they both come down, still pressed close, lips suggesting grazes. 

“Do you, uh, want to come up to my apartment?” Want says yes, a whisper her ears prick to under the obvious shout of no. Want says yes, over and over.

“Yeah, okay.”

....................................

taglist (lmk if you want added or dropped): @casa-boiardi @tieronecrush @swiftispunk @beskarandblasters @trulybetty @amanitacowboy @pr0ximamidnight @wannab-urs @jksprincess10 @suzmagine @everything-isfucked @lanabobana @kittenlittle24 @sarap-77 @officerrrfriendly @val-srz @bitchwitch1981 @redwoodsanddaffodils @themothersmercy @romanarose

[staghunting]

it is a cool choice to write regulus as being permanently in sirius' shadow and would grate against that. i understand that some writers make this the basis for the j/egulus dynamic of "i am deeply in love with my brother's best friend but It Cannot Be because my brother and i have a weird relationship", but it's hard to write that without changing a lot of their personalities. while i can see how good writers would take a mile if you gave them an inch of inspiration, i never got on the j/egulus train simply because i was rotted by a more compelling ship route to take

namely, that regulus would get with snape in order to get back at sirius.

your baby brother falling in love with your amazing best friend? ew, but also, you can't fault his taste. your baby brother doing the nasty the worst supremacist scum in the british isles, on the other hand? vile! disgusting! treacherous! sirius would absolutely go nuts if his baby brother debased himself in such a way– which is exactly why i think regulus would go for it. it is the sort of slytherin-flavored vengeance that befits regulus more than softly angsting under dramatic light in a corner

and the reason why sirius would freak is for a multitude of reasons! regulus is a black– pureblooded, high-class, honor above all. sirius' value system of honor would not accept that his own blood would associate with hypocrite supremacists such as snape (though sirius himself is a hypocrite through regulus' eyes because he loudly goes against their traditions but wants to effectively manage and control someone within the institution he left)

perhaps, years later, sirius might still wash out some of regulus' blame— his idiot brother, too soft to know when his lover (shudder) was joining a supremacist organization

but snape is an effective knife for regulus to hold against his brother simply because snape is the sirius-that-never-will-be

because snape is accepted by the same family that callously disowned sirius! he breaks bread with the black cousins! joined the same after-school traditionalist club! quite possibly (i don't remember if it was canon) also named draco's godfather! sirius hated that this greasy git fit better into his family than he ever would

(and had he lived longer, he would be simmering with envy of how effortlessly snape still swans in their circle despite being proved a LITERAL SPY. he is stuck and tied in his house but snape, of all people, gets to have afternoon tea with bella and cissa)

and snape hates sirius because he is effortlessly powerful and cool– even by muggle standards!! it is hard to be cool by muggle standards when there's so much going on in that world but somehow, this posh bloke steps in london and immediately becomes a café racer. he transfigures his robes to mimic muggle clothing and still looks fashionably rockstar handsome instead of looking like he came from a multicolored freakshow circus like every wizard trying to fit in the muggle world

sirius bought a nice flat in the richer side of london right after graduating, without looking for a job. he knows what the current movies are, has paid for all of his friends to watch it together, and is in tune with muggle life the way he would never be

(the day snape found out that sirius, who was raised on enchanted concertos and magical singing kitchenware, bought a pregnant lily potter VIP seats to an artist's concert— the artist who they both first heard on a rickety radio player in his mother's house— he flipped his shit and applied for his second masters)

they are soooo deeply jealous of each other's ability to fit in. and it would make for a really good dynamic. all three of them are playing each other like fiddles

[letsgetrowdy43]

Meet the cast—

Au Masterlist!!

Yvette “Eve” Liu—

She was born in upstate New York, her father a lawyer and her mother an Educational Assistant, her two younger siblings were born years later in Michigan when they moved to Plymouth when their father was offered a senior partnership at a law firm.

She tutored a bunch of the usntdp boys in their junior and senior years, and that's how she found her Jack

Jack was very different from the other boys she put up with, he had a politeness that made her swoon. He never interrupted her, always paid attention, and always followed his sessions with a quiet thank you which had her in a puddle every time he left the library.

There was never a session where she hadn't shown up home after with big heart eyes.

Eve was always very school-oriented throughout her life, loved education, and loved furthering her understanding of the world, so naturally, she chose education as her career path

She goes on to study education at Rutgers and becomes a high school history and English teacher by 22 (started her teaching practicum at age 20, so technically she was teaching at 20h

Her and Jack ending up in the same city was a coincidence; her cousins who lived in New York were also going to Rutgers for their degrees, and she wanted to be close to her family, so she followed them. Jack just happened to get drafted there just a few months before her freshman year began

She had a cat in college, but she had to give it to one of her college friends when she moved into her apartment because Jack was allergic to it, her name was Penelope

Eve and Nico are also very close, Jack's real wife and his work wife are best friends and always team up against him, he gets either very upset at their kicking or very jealous that is wives love each other more than they love him

She owned a little box of every little thing Jack had ever given in her room, and he never found out till they moved in together in her senior year of college

She named their daughter, an ode to one of the more influential women in her life, her grandmother, and that's how they ended up with little Mei Hughes.

Mei and Jack are her entire life, and it's as simple as that.

Jack Hughes—

Jack was pretty sure Eve hated him their first few history tutoring sessions together, he could barely string sentences together, his palms were soaked, and he was a ball of nerves because she was just so pretty.

He was so blind to the fact that she was equally just as into him as he was to her. He accidentally misunderstood her asking him to homecoming in their junior year as her asking them to go as friends so when he picked her up she was expecting a cute little corsage and to maybe take some photos and instead, he showed up at her doorstep with Trevor and Alex.

Jack would never live that moment down for the rest of his life, but he definitely made it up to her a year later when he asked her out, as not-friends.

She definitely fell first but he fell harder.

Jack cried so many tears when he found out they were both gonna be in Jersey and really relied on her during his rookie year

While he was in Michigan during the 2023 season he bribed Luke with free liquor to drive up to Detroit and pick him up so he could stop at Eve's parent's house to ask for permission to marry her.

They are only engaged and plan to have a long engagement, but Jack refers to her as his wife to literally everyone

Jack is literally a wife guy, whatever his wife says goes, and everyone chirps him cause he's literally Eve's bitch, but he follows her blindly and with heart eyes and does not give a fuck what anyone says.

Jack is the girl dad at heart, and that's all im going to say cause I know you all completely understand what I mean.

Mei Jean Hughes—

Born January 8th, 2024 in New Wark NJ

Very chubby giggly baby with a head of perfect little curls

Jack asked Quinn to be her godfather during the second Hughes vs Hughes game, just days before Eve was induced. Quinn cried, but if you ask him he’ll say something was in his eye

Mei is Daddies girl for sure, she is obsessed with Jack, hates when he's on roadies and needs to talk on the phone with him before bed

Mei hates Trevor, she loves Cole and Alex, but Trevor is like enemy #1

Has Luke wrapped around her chubby little finger, he is literally Eve and Jack’s saving grace, the best babysitter ever

Mei goes through a tiara phase when she’s older

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If you have any thoughts or questions please leave them in my inbox!!!

[grandmagbignaturals]

you are Gucci Garantine

When you were a kid you always had to hang out with this snobbish only child who was your parents bosses kid. You didn't necessarily like her but you did your best to get along because your parents said it was important to not fight with her because her mum was important.

In high school you're in the same school and you're starting to realise the system is a little fucked up. But your assigned nepo baby is going to go far and if you ride her coattails you might get somewhere too, so you stay friends.

In college you drift apart as you get into some academic-leftist circles and she drops out to bum around her mom's holiday home.

When you graduate, you get a day job working under your parents as a secretary and you start funelling your pay and your family’s generational wealth to a militarised revolutionary group. (Your parents are cool with this it's a family tradition?)

You don't think you'll have to deal with the snob you grew up with much even though you still see her at work parties because they're always at her house.

And then the militarised revolution you've been working with takes off in a big way because a priest stole an entire military base and you're invited to go to a meeting of revolutionaries to decide next steps.

And the girl you grew up with is there? And it turns out stealing the military base was sort of her idea because her mom had assigned her a group of Prisoner-Soldiers and put her on the front lines to get rid of her, but she somehow scraped through. She didn't mean to make it a revolution, she just did it to spite her cousin (a general and the heir to the throne) but now shes in a revolution she guesses.

Youve been planning for this sort of thing for years so you get right into the revolution and its politics. Your ... friend? Gets arrested for having prisoner soldiers and then let out as a political favour and then that repeats itself. You.. go down to the cells to paint her nails during all this. She starts working out. You begin do think she's maybe coming around to this revolution business.

Then the night the revolution storms the town your parents boss is based out of, your friend gets in an argument with the priest and they both die.

Except! A few months later she shows up again but now she's a satan worshipper who has real magic. And she might be the only salvation for a bunch of civilians who are about to be hurt in retaliation against your revolution. So you give her some trust again.

Five years later. Your revolution has gone interplanetary, the sun almost blew up then didn't, the person you have a.... relationship... with stopped it, and then also killed one of the two kings of space. And you get called to a meeting because your old friend, who is an eldritch nightmare now that literal satan has decided she doesnt like her any more, has captured her cousin (the general/heir) and is asking to rejoin the revolution in exchange for this valuable political prisoner, and you are assigned to keep watch over her to make sure her eldritch minions don't ruin everything.

She calls it a slumber party.

What do you do?

[meraki-yao]

This is a mess of a brain rot

So once upon a time I wrote some ideas of what would happen if we put Nick's characters in a room

Yesterday I was reading a fic from Chinese RWRB fandom where George (Mary & George, Nick) Marco (The Kissing Booth, Taylor), and Tom (The Beneath My Feet, Nick) were side characters and school friends with the daughter oc of the fic

All of them are pre-teens, Tom is an adorable, shy baby, George is the prettiest boy in school and has boys literally falling over their feet for his smile, and Marco is Tom's boyfriend who walks him home and defends him from bullies (as much as a boyfriend as a kid can be)

And I was reminded of a fic series from my other fandom (it's Chinese) where the author basically rounded up the actors' other characters (who kinda had either no chemistry or a shit relationship storyline in their original work), made them housemates, and basically paired them up and created a big cross over rom-com

And I immediately started brainstorming and thinking of an RWRB/ Taylor Nick Universe version of the same concept: Henry as an Eng Lit student and Alex a Law student, Robert (Cinderella, Nick) can be Henry's cousin who's doing a musical theatre degree, Marco, Tom, Johnnie (High Strung, Nick) (and maybe Conor (Handsome Devil, Nick)?) could all be music students, George's whole trajectory maybe can be translating into a sugar daddy situation still with some form of King James, maybe all of Nick's characters are in one apartment complex and all of Taylor's characters neighbouring them etc etc... This whole idea got me so freaking excited

And then a slew of questions flooded my mind: How do I want to do this? Comic? Ask blog? Fic? Bullet point posts? Am I gonna commit to this? Is there even an audience for this? How much bullshit can I come up with?

Also, what the fuck am I gonna do with the characters? I only really know Henry, Alex, Conor, Marco, and maybe Robert, and maybe Timmy. I don't really have the time or the interest to watch all of the boys' filmography (sorry I love the boys with all my heart but I'm a really plot-driven viewer when it comes to shows/movies), what am I gonna do with that? What am I gonna do with shipping? I say this with all the love for Taylor but Nick does have a larger filmography thus more characters than he does, and even just with Marco I have no idea who to pair him up with because there are so many possible good ship dynamics but I prefer just sticking to one ship? What the fuck?

Yeah I don't fucking know if there's a point I'm trying to make or a conclusion I'm trying to reach but here ya go Welcome to the mess that is my mind

[theobsessiveloser18]

Joshaya head cannons

•Once or twice a month they meet, spend time together (with their friends)

•Josh has had dinner at the Hunter house, Shawn and Katy love him (Even so they let him know that he must be careful With little Mayaboushka)

“I'm watching you Spawn Matthews”

“Come on Shawn, you and I are like cool cousins, you tried to change my diapers, what's changed now?”

“that you are in a 'we will see' with My adopts child”

“Don't worry dad, if he breaks my heart, his face will be stuck in the floor for my babies." She pointed to his high heels.

“That's My Dwarf Girl”

“i had a little scary”

•Maya goes to her university events, conferences, thesis exhibitions, no matter how boring the antics are she will be there trying not to fall asleep,But if there is some kind of sporting event Josh will be forced to attend, it doesn't matter if he doesn't understand them or doesn't like them, he is a little less enthusiastic than the girl But he makes sure that she doesn't get into fights With those on the opposite tribune

•Likewise, when he discovered that his future girl was an artist, he became his greatest ally (he and Riley constantly compete to see who is the number one fan). He gives her everything she needs In order for her to continue creating, and even materials to experiment with, is she going to exhibit her works at school? He arrived an hour before her and is organizing the space, he has even introduced her to The university artists, so that she continues to grow In the area

“Maybe you can study here, we would see each other daily”

“When I enter, you will be leaving, if at most we would spend a year together” He approached her in a flirtatious manner

“It would be a great year” it was a change of roles now Maya was nervous, she smiled shyly

“Yes, it would be”

•As it was said at the beginning they spend time with each other's group of friends, Josh tends to be a little ignored in Maya's, while in his she is like the favorite

•But the two of them also go out, they go to concerts, the movies, festivals, fairs, anything that screams fun means that Maya will be taking it, although generally they both contribute ideas of where to spend the time,Included in activities that only one of them likes

•What happens on Theirs outings?

Cinema:

~Maya starts an argument in the middle of the movie about what will happen next and how it will end, Josh tries to warn her, but people end up yelling at him and throwing food at him to make him shut up(She'll end up complaining about this, then they'll both laugh)

~When leaving the cinema they will eat whatever comes their way

Concerts:

~Maya will make them something related to the band(s) they are going to see, whether it be a bracelet, a pin, a ribbon, or a kerchief

“It is necessary?"

“Of course it is” (He would prefer to buy them, but oh well,Sometimes it does)

~Josh will carry her on his shoulders so she can see

Park:

~They fed the ducks,Or they'll give Ginger a little spin and pet other people's pets.

~Maya will draw everything she finds interesting, Josh will advise her to draw people for 5 dollars, it will be fine for her.

~They will take advantage to make the market

Amusement park

~They will save enough to go to all the games, literally all of them, that's why they don't go very often, but it's part of their goal list to go 3 times a year

~Many photos will be taken

~They will give away what they get in the games

“Why do you think that a philosophy student Would you have a little cow with a bow and a dress in your room?

“With your face I wouldn't be surprised if you still use a pacifier and bib to eat.

(Delight with these cuteness)😍🤩😊☺️

~Josh will carry Maya while she points out where to go (he will also carry her if she doesn't want to walk anymore or if she is very tired, he offers to do it, more than she asks).

•Maya doesn't waste the opportunity to pretend she's lost, she's amused to see Josh scared, but most of the time he'll notice, and make her believe she's really lost, just to scare her From behind before she calls him.

•She likes to give him constant playful hits on the shoulder or stomach, when he is being very nerdy, very deep, or rather when he is being himself.

•we said that That Josh is going to eat at Maya's house, but the Matthews grandparents (Amy and Allan) love having Maya at home, you could say that Amy would be a better daughter-in-law with her than with Topanga (Amy sucks at Christmas or Thanksgiving dinner at girl meets world, okay? Good)They even talk to Josh about why he shouldn't break a person's heart with that backstory.

“I have learned everything I need to know about the failed relationships of Eric, Morgan, Shawn, and even the infidelity and love drama of America's sweethearts... Yours love story is almost a mystery and frankly I am not interested, I am already raised, I will be the perfectly human right for her, I have been clear about that from the beginning.”

“Wait, wait, wait!!, that's too much” Amy warned him

“We were talking about being the good high school rebound Partner, everyone has had one” Amy looked at him confused and intrigued “Have you thought about marrying her?!”

He looked embarrassed, he didn't respond.

[megan0013]

I'm always down for more Changeling Barbarba

1. her undercover mission as the wife of real estate developer walker strickland (strickler) is only the third assignment braya (barbara) has had on the surface. her original human family was irish, but she’s adopted a deep southern accent for this particular job and, holy shit, is stricklander into it

2. they have three children together before jim enters the picture - aurora, walker and alexander (a little mashup of all the stricklake kids i’ve written for other fics). rory is a total daddy’s girl, walker and alex are literally chaos twins. they’re about eighty years older than jim. he’s met them and thinks they’re his cousins

3. nik (an oc from variables) shows up as a braya’s changeling nestmate who just happens to have spent a month fucking around with stricklander in greece some 60 years previous. he delivers all four of the stricklake babies. nannies the older ones a bit, too. the look on stricklander’s face when braya first introduces them is priceless

4. kodanth is so over these two. they had one job™️ but he’s still dealing with their bullshit a hundred years later, and yeah, ok, they’ve become his most favorite walnuts but seriously? four kids, an annoyingly codependent relationship, and a whole familial unit (auntie nomura and uncle otto included) focused more on themselves than the greater good is just a little too much for him and his blood pressure, thank you

5. stricklake carry out what could be considered a legitimate affair from the time they reunite prior to jim’s freshman year until sometime in the near distant future (that i haven’t figured out yet) if they weren’t already, ya know, married. which. isn’t entirely true. because they are bonded mates. there was a ceremony back in the 30’s and everything. and as far as they’re concerned, that trumps any human vows barbara may have exchanged with james lake sr. who knows something is going on between his ‘wife’ and the local high school history teacher but can’t quite figure out what (until jim becomes the trollhunter, of course, and a threat ultimatum is made)

between two lungs

[punkeropercyjackson]

Percy Jackson is bisexual this,Percy Jackson is bisexual that,Percy Jackson is TRANSFEMININE and the only reason 'bisexual malewife Percy'(GAGS)got popular is the Pjo fandom's misogyny is so strong they won't even let the mc who was intended as a cis white dude be the trauma based misandrist SHE canonically and RIGHTFULLY is because there's been multiple instances where she's proven herself as unlike cis men to other women but ain't no cis men don't that for her ever!!!All they've ever done is either bully her at school,abuse her when she was a child or undertonely come onto her WHEN SHE WAS A MINOR so i support her 100% in her man hating because big mood bestie and you can't use Jason as proof because Jercy works so much because Jason's got tboy swag and autistic rizz and is the Team Dad to Percy's Team Mom,not because Jason's a guy in general and you can quote me when i say that literally the ONLY reason we were robbed of Nico and Percy being cosmic soulmates by found siblings choice in full force is that Rick won't let Percy's egg crack,like just think about it-The ONLY reason they were torn apart is that Nico couldn't stand being best friends with the 'boy' he liked out of internalized homophobia in addition to all the trauma and Percy reached out and took care of him nonstop despite all his bitterness towards her and Hazel is part of it too!The Second Great Prophecy made them meet but NICO brought her back from the dead and Percy's dad is Poseidon and Hazel's ONE exception to animals not being scared of her is horses like hello,the symbolism??????That i know for a fact was accidental because Rick's not that smart and neither are 'bisexual himbo Percy'(GAGS!!!!!!!)believers

Frank is her cousin and Grover was her friend before the trauma set in so don't @ me with that.Luke deadass murdered Beckendorf aka Percy's REAL big bro and mentor who wasn't a fucking serial pedophile who's such a loser he won't even fuck girls who don't look underaged(Kelli passed as a high schooler no problem)nor a child army leader.Percy's an anarchist and Ares is an army chief,Hades abused her babies,Hermes passed down his loser genes to Luke(blaming Annabeth for not saving her groomer?Really dude?)and her explicit opinion on Apollo is he's that gross pervy older male relative she's forced to be around sometimes because he's close with her dad.Percy's a mama's girl who's middle school and high school friends were almost all girls on PURPOSE seeing as she's always complaining about men and worshipping women and that's just scratching the surface!ENOUGH!!!!!I've known Pjo was meant to be about a tgirl and her cast that's mostly lesbians since i was 12 and i will forever stand by it cause it tracks even more than it did then!

Let Ocean Girl BREATHE!Let Percy dye her white streak blue and be a gamer and super into seapunk and glamrock and stuff herself with burgers and fancy homemade blue drinks and desserts and go on dates with her werewolf-adjacent dorky ass boyfriend who worships her like she did other women growing up and spend quality time with her younger siblings she adopted herself before her mom even got to them and beat the ever living pulp out of the weirdo ass men she's had to put up with,which is A LONG ASS LIST,and hang with her girls!!!Nobody cares about your lack of reading comprehension you won't fix because the patriarchy is your safe space and if you're gonna try to make me problematic or 'a bully',what have you posted about Leah Jeffries' Annabeth,Perachel,Theyna and Piper?SPEAK CLEARLY INTO THE MIC🎤🎤🎤🎤🎤

[linnetagain]

I have. Had a realization.

In-fic, it is Feb/March-ish of 2024. Gale is currently 29, Astarion is about to be 27. Hestia is seven-ish, and the baby was born when Gale was 21ish? Yes?

IRL, it is August 2024. I am currently 29. My sister is 27.

I am losing my mind.

I was a junior during the 2012 Olympics. Originally Astarion said that he was 14 when he skated to Golden, but that was when he thought his birthday was Jan 1, and skating season is usually finished by March, yeah??? So he would have be 13, little baby EIGHTH grader, teeny tiny child? Protect him????

And the Sebastian incident, he said he was 16, so that would have been some time in 2014, I’d only just graduated and was pretending to be A Real Adult, my sister was a tenth grader reading Julius Caesar and all that shiz, we were binge watching episodes of Pokémon on my chunky laptop like they were a line of crushed smarties on a coffee table and we had no nerve endings left in our sinuses.

Gale was 15 when he met Mystra, frickin 2010 or some shiz, I was still deeply uninterested in men as a concept at that point I’m ace but that’s beside the point so’s he, what were you thinking lady, I have a different sister who’s 8 years younger than me, when I was 22 the humans her size may as well have been INFANTS, who goes shopping for college boyfriends among incoming high school freshmen, you’re NASTY

Married at 19, okay maybe not so weird generally, that’s what my mom did, she’s fine, to each their own, but like that’s when I was heading into my first proper burnout, I was not a PERSON, absolute brick made of oatmeal, also I was still a TINY BABY, that was heckin ten years ago, heckin 2014, Astarion “falls” and Gale’s heckin legally bound to his heckin manager frick 2014 seriously who authorized this

Hestia would have been born some time in 2017, if she’s already 7 when the fic started in fall 2023, some time in March–September since we haven’t seen her birthday on screen yet, so absolute earliest she could have been conceived would have been like, June 2016, so Gale would have gotten the ultimatum in probably July or August, chest injury probably happened earlier that year, maybe March–Juneish if he spent a year retraining his voice and lungs and it overlapped with paternal leave post-Hessie, and Astarion asked “was that the year that—?” so his first baby probably died like, maybe mid-2015? That’s right when I got my heckin puppy. Gale’s son should be as old as my puppy dog. Jeez, Astarion escapes to law school right as Gale gets Metaphorically Orbed. Congrats Gale, you’re 20 and having the Worst Year Ever

Also, shoutout to Astarion for finishing law school in 3 years? Class of 2018? That seems so fast with like pre-law and stuff but I don’t know how the UK does it, also he’s a smart boy, GO, be FREE my son (sort of not really psych jk)

But also ugh living in a two-bed studio apartment for at least five years assuming they lived in student housing before that? How is your mind still intact

But just. Hessie. Born 2017. The year I started going into my SECOND major episode of burnout. Heck, do I know any seven year olds??? How old are my little cousins?? Heck, it would the ones who didn’t live very close, how big is a seven year old?????? My close friends have a six year old, but she’s usually doing her own thing when I hang out with them so I usually visualize her as so much smaller, I think I might be literally incapable of comprehending having spawned a tiny growing human and having them in close proximity to myself since 2017

Congrats, you’ve broken me

Yeah don't be fooled by Gale talking about how old he feels, they're both SO young and so much of the shit that they've gone through happened to them when they were literally children. Astarion was thirteen when he won gold, Gale was fifteen when he met Mystra. It's one of the reasons why that brief mention of Romeo and Juliet is so loaded, because Astarion is looking back and remembering how it felt like his whole world was defined by this one thing when he was that age, and how much has changed since then. How much more he's had the chance to be, and how he was so close to losing the chance at that. Also one of the reasons why it's so easy to write him being protective of Hestia. He can see Gale trying to give her a better childhood than either of them had and he's absolutely going to try and help.

[be-the-glenn-to-my-maggie]

I can’t BELIEVE for the nights and days of life is over, I was starting to think that novel would last forever.

I hope you all are ready for the fact that it’s not over here on my blog, as my 5-5 ass is not done with it yet. In that respect, here are the chapter ten notes. No spoilers in the comments for me and any people who haven’t read yet, or are for some godforsaken reason, reading along with me.

And @mochalottie u are a queen and my favorite, I’m so sorry for taking so so long to read your work and being so bad at responding to your dms, I’m at the stage in adulting where every text from anyone seems like a monumental task lol. I’m trying to manage time better and respond better. It doesn’t help that I work in a high school so it blocks tumblr!!

Onto the for the nights and days of life chapter 10 notes! Happy Halloween all!

-The way I feel like my own children are growing up too fast when I hear that Spider and Neteyam aren’t sitting with Mo’at in the infirmary much anymore. 

-Ur fighting my Jake and Mo’at spend an insane amount of time gossiping headcanon. Ur simply spitting on it. Just think about it, just pICTURE it. Mo’at’s grinding up a paste and Jake sneaks in like “…Have your heard about what happened with Moe and Ninat?” and Mo’at goes “JAKE SULI I would never talk behind someone’s back. Tell me everything.”

-Hey, Neytiri being like unable to acknowledge Paz as Spider’s mom? Banger. It really gets to me. She’s like well fuck off that’s my kid all while doubting herself. But Mo’at's right baby Spider was Neytiri’s number one fan from day one, he was literally always a momma’s boy.

-Also because you mentioned the kids taking an afternoon nap, I wanted to take a moment to just highlight how hellish that year or so where Neteyam, Kiri, and Spider were done with naps and Lo’ak still needed them was. You know his ass threw the bIGGEST tantrum every time it was time for a nap and everyone else was still playing. He was enRAGED because no one has fomo like Lo’ak. The kid was feral, crying overtired tears simply insisting that he is absolutely not tired and does nOT NEED A NAP.

-Spider being in the sleeping pile is one of the things that makes my heart grow three sizes every time I read about it. But you made it 20 times worse by adding in that by himself he spreads out for safety but he feels safe in the pile, like I’ll kill myself.

-I literally can prove Spider always asks for banana fruit and I’m starting to become convinced it’s the only fruit he knows.

-Lol Norm and Max sitting on Earth absolutley fIGHTING over who has to tell Jake things are going BadTM. 

-Lol I just literally kNEW that Neteyam wanted to make Spider a present, and yet instead his gift to him was even more of a complex. 

-YOU CANNOT TEASE TARSEM LOVE STORY TO ME. ALSO I’M NOW ASSUMING HE’S GAY THAT SCENE READ GAY. 

-This is what both Jake and I thought of when Neytiri told him to keep his secrets:

SHE QUOTED THAT MOVIE ALMOST BAR FOR BAR MAN, IF I WAS JAKE THAT WOULD’VE SENT MEEEE. When I was younger I used to have to share a bed with my cousin on family vacations, and I’m telling you bitch is possessed. She sleep walks and sleep talks, and sleep assaults me in my sleep. But one time she fucking quoted The Princess Bride and the next morning when I told her I loved that movie, she told me she’s never seen it. I have never felt more fear for my life. Picture Jake struggling to explain the plot of Lord of the Rings, his ass has seen it, his twin was a nerd. 

-Jake as soon as his child needs comfort: Oh fuck, I’M the only one here!

-Spider, like 7: I won’t be able to mate dad. Jake: I have to go. I’m not ready for this.

-HUMANS ARE BACK, time for things to get a little fucking sad. I know I’m ALMOST twenty chapters behind and you guys are already in it, but I’m just getting started baybeeee.

-Also I love Spider calling his parents Ma and Da, your Irishness has crept in.

[minimooberry]

                              •MALLORY BLACK•

Mal is 25 years old and had always lived in Willow Creek until she moved out as as a Young Adult to San Myshuno to start her ‘city girl’ life. Emphasis on the quotation marks because, despite her fashion sense, the only thing Mallory really wants in life is to have a loving partner and happy ending. She literally cannot handle heartbreak (see: her first boyfriend in high school and the first girlfriend she had in the city).

She never really stopped watching kid shows since she was constantly babysitting either her baby cousins or helping her friends babysit their siblings, so occasionally she’ll swallow her pride and turn on an episode of Miraculous Ladybug or Winx Club.

Being raised by her aunt and uncle, Mariam and Marcus, because of her parents’ messy relationship, she was always taught that you should think through who you committed to and is staying hesitantly optimistic about this new experience ;)

Aspiration: Big Happy Family

Traits: Goofball, Clumsy, Geek, Jealous, Childish

Likes: Orange, Green, Pink, Retro Music, Hip-hop, Nicknames

Dislikes: Blue, Yellow, Spooky Music, Americana Music, Writing, Mixology, Gardening, Liars

Career: Space Cadet

Hobbies: Rocket Science, Programming, Guitar

Sexuality: Chronically Bisexual

- for @softietrait’s BC challenge <3 - dl -

[mousydentist]

More KPTS fics <10k words that altered my brain chemistry

PART 2: Misc Relationships

here we go again! this time, these are all fics that fit somewhere outside the big three pairings (kp, vp, kc). more (WAY more) than a few deal with sensitive topics, so the back button is your friend! enjoy <3

One Bright Moment by sparkly_butthole @sparkly-butthole-on-ao3

Rated E. Creator chose not to use warnings. Summary:

“Okay,” Porsche says slowly, “who is the smartest person we know? We should start there.” “Arm,” Pete responds immediately. “He’s a scientist. A tech geek.” “As opposed to?” “A magician? I don’t know.” Or: Porsche and Pete swap bodies. No one knows what to do about it.

this fic is ssooooo conceptually amazing, i'm absolutely obsessed with the interactions between the characters and the smangst gives it extra bonus points too. god VEGAS in this fic is literally spectacular, stunning, perfection

Complicated by Dumpster_Fire_x @dumpster-fire-x

Rated M. Creator chose not to use warnings. Summary:

Chay was in trouble. There was no way to put it. He knew that what he felt was far from normal nor the conventional way relationships work. He was in love, not with one person but two. Kim and Macau. It didn’t begin that way.

COMPLICATED!!!! this fic sent me into a kimchaymacau rabbit hole that i have yet to find my way out of but tbh i like it down here. soooo sweet and cute and just all around a very delightful read. angsty with a lovely helping of hurt/comfort that makes me 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

an hour glass glued to the table by IsleofSolitude @emberfaye

(+ associated series: time is a wheel in constant motion)

Rated G. No archive warnings apply. Summary:

"He’s immature, of course he is–he didn’t get to have his cousins and his parents give him attention and time. He knows how hard Vegas works–doing triple the work of anyone so that Macau is allowed to be carefree and attend classes at his school and not the type of training that strips away at your soul." Macau and Kim are the youngest sons, only four years apart in age.

i fucking LOVE this series so much, giving me that sweet sweet kim&macau goodness. i dont normally see/read gen fics or macau-centric fics and this really set my standards high for both of those things because its so well done

I don't need a parachute, baby, if I've got you by sabrina_il (marina) @pitchercries

Rated E. No archive warnings apply. Summary:

“We can do this,” Kinn insisted, between one kiss and the next, lying on top of Tay on the massive bed in his suite. “It’s totally doable.” Tay had to laugh. Kinn was very sexy and very heavy on top of him, and Kinn’s shirt was barely buttoned anymore and Tay appreciated all of it, but Kinn was an absolute idiot when it came to being an omega. Tay had known that even before they’d gotten together, almost six months ago. He’d known it for most of the time they’d spent as friends. “We absolutely cannot,” Tay countered, kissing Kinn again. An AU where Tay and Kinn are both omegas who get together (after breaking up with Time and Tawan respectively) and due to Reasons both go into heat at the same time. Porsche is the alpha they hire to solve all their problems. Suffice it to say, everyone gets way more than they bargained for.

oh WOW what to say about this fic. the PLOT in this bad boy, and in the rest of the series, is absolutely unmatched. SUCH a creative universe and made me fall in love with tropes/relationships id never considered before. 10/10 no notes

Ain't No Sunshine by Dumpster_Fire_x @dumpster-fire-x

Rated M. Major Character Death. Summary:

"Sometimes, death can bring the living together, and death can cause the living to find solace in one another." - C. JoyBell C.

🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲 ow. just. ow. short and sweet, painful, heart wrenching, lovely, and all the other adjectives that mean "hurt in a beautiful and poetic way"

Kinn the Stud by IsleofSolitude @emberfaye

Rated E. Rape/Non-con. Summary:

It’s not often that Kinn is put out to stud. Most of the time, the two ruts he gets a year are treated with a mix of pills, vetted escorts, and schedule rearranging. Yet, every few years, people are allowed to pay for the honor of having a Theerapanyakul alpha stud for their fertile omegas. Korn had promised that this time, in honor of his birthday, he would be allowed to pick one omega personally. Of course Kinn had chosen his boyfriend.

genuinely dont care if im biased cause this was a gift for me, this fic aaaaaaactually rocked my fucking world like oh my GOD my jaw was on the floor the whole fucking time and then went i went to pick it back up the fic slapped it out of my hand god this FIC.

Chan's 7 Step Method for Making Good Boys by JynxedOracle @jynxed13

Rated E. Creator chose not to use warnings. Summary:

After being assigned to train Kim by Korn, Chan decides to use the opportunity to work on Kim's disrespectful attitude. Luckily he's devised a 7 step method to make Kim a good boy, regardless of Kim's feelings on the matter.

i was present for this fic being written through discord messages and it was a religious experience. i reread it twice on discord and then a third time when it got put on ao3 and then like six times since then. if you have EVER considered the possibility of chankim you HAVE to read this fic

adrenaline by loveliuess @the-innefable-idiot

(+ associated series angsty and horny KimVegas au by popular demand)

Rated E. Graphic depictions of violence. Summary:

Tomorrow Kim would blame everything on the adrenaline rush.

hi um. this fic. this FIC. this entire series actually, because you HAVE to read the whole thing. "angsty and horny kimvegas" is 100% accurate and LORD HAVE MERCY. i read the first fic as like a little treat before i went to bed and then i stayed up til 3am to finish the rest of the series and then i cried and didnt sleep at all :) GO READ IT

a night worthy of 200kbaht by Anonymous

Rated E. Creator chose not to use archive warnings. Summary:

Tuition is due and his brother is running himself ragged with three jobs already after Uncle Thee's latest gambling debts, so Porchay does what he has to in order to take care of things himself; selling the only thing he has worth something. He just didn't expect the highest bidder to be so... classy, and lowkey impressive.

oh if you know me you know about my obsession with this fic. ive bonded with close friends over how much we love this fic. this fic drastically changed my life its SO FUCKING GOOD. im a kinnchay hoe all the way and this is just *chefs kiss*

Performance Review by iffervescent @iffervescent

Rated E. No archive warnings apply. Summary:

Big wants to be good. Chan wants him to earn it.

this! fucking! series!!! i dont think i need to sell anyone on how amazing iffervescent is but goddamnit im gonna do it anyway. i very very rarely read bigchan but when i read the rest of the series i was like oh my god i HAVE to read this one and i DID. NOT. REGRET IT.

[glitter-lisp]

Au game but I’m making you au your fandom into mine — give me a tangled dragon rider au (doesn’t have to Napoleonic wars related bc I’m a nice person)

jaylia this is so funny because literally in the last chapter of multiverse i sent them to a dragon rider world specifically with you in mind omg okay so this is less of a 5 fun facts and more of 1 setting and 4 character sketches ok SO

think typical high fantasy there are Kingdoms and the the Kingdoms have Magic and also some of the Kingdoms have Dragons and and the Dragons have Dragonriders and when a newborn Dragon picks a human to be their Dragonrider they are shipped off to a multination Dragon School Up In The Mountains To Learn How To Do It also worth noting for this world im stealing the eragon thing that dragons can choose their riders from inside the egg so if you touch a dragon egg sometimes that bitch will hatch on the spot for you and oops now you gotta deal with that. so anyways our cast of character in the ya novel i am dubbing the dragon thief:

hugo. the eponymous dragon thief. part of a thieves guild, stole a dragon egg in transport to sell to the highest bidder because that shit is EXPENSIVE if the sale went through he'd be set for life, except oh holy shit what the fuck it fucking HATCHED, and since dragon bonds are considered sacred across all nations (dragons are too Wise to choose random shitheels obviously) he's immediately pardoned of all crimes and shipped off to dragon school with his hatchling, but being pardoned of your crimes doesn't mean your fellow trainees have forgotten them and everyone at the school knows you once tried to kidnap and sell the baby dragon that is now bonded to you for life, and they treat you accordingly

nuru, a young princess who's descended from a long line of both nobility and dragonriders, but always like, yknow. the eldest daughters. the only-kind-of-joking family motto is "first on the throne, second in the saddle" and nuru is the fourth child so the best she could hope for was a decent dowry and a husband who let her keep studying astronomy, but then at her family's hatching ceremony the hatchling stumbled out of its egg and trotted right past all of nurus sisters and into her arms, so now her family is furious even though she really, really, really didn't mean to buck tradition and steal her sister's dragon, and all of her sister's friends who expected her there after the egg hatched are instead stuck with her pesky baby sister instead

yong. tiny baby child whose parents are trainers at the school, and was therefore raised on the property, and was therefore raised as much by dragons as people. is accidentally EXTREMELY magical by virtue of growing up around so much magical energy. his parents keep him the fuck away from any eggs because of that, for fear of him accidentally pulling an unhatched dragon into a bond because of his power instead of the dragon actually wanting to bond with him as a person. yong somehow manages to find, befriend, and bond with a young wild dragon ("young" by dragon standards at least) instead, leaving him half a decade younger than his mostly teenage and young adult classmates, and his dragon close to a century older than their hatchlings

varian. the first dragonrider trainee from his kingdom invited to study at the school. At least, the first in close to 30 years, since his uncle the king and his dragon were both defeated in battle a few years ago after waging war on the rest of the world for a quarter of a century. edmund is gone and his son eugene, varians older cousin, is doing what he can to fix the wreck of his own kingdom, make amends with their neighboring kingdoms, and restart the dragonrider corps in the dark kingdom, since edmund demanded all other dragons and riders be banished a few decades ago. varian never had anything to do with the war, never fought in it and barely knew his uncle or his dragon, but that doesn't stop people from treating him and his dragon like they're also going to go insane and start murdering people any second

soooooo yeah that's all i got band of misfits at magic school sticking together because everyone else hates them so they might as well

[armanicatherina]

HSHQTASK059: FAREWELL !

when did you join ? what made you join ? what do you remember from the plotlines that were current at the time ? where were you in life when you joined and where are you now ?

i want to say i first joined chambordrp in 2014 ? it didn't last too long but the group made a comeback in 2015 and i'm so so grateful that it did. admin m had asked me to join the admin team ( of just herself ) to help her with some ( hideous, i'm sure ) graphics, and here i am, this many years later ! back then, i was a baby high school student, procrastinating my assignments because my rp partners were waiting on a reply. at the time, the group was a hot mess, and the most serious plots were angsty exes and besties who had a falling out. i'd joined with some iteration of armani with a cara delevingne fc which is still so wild to me bc that will forever be gaia to me. i was going through my inbox and do you guys remember when we used to plot in our inboxes ?? i literally have asks from viveka-b from 2015 and i can't believe how far we've come.

which characters have you written over the years ?

oh goddd... armani, beatriz, a chris wood fc who's name i can't remember for the life of me, a maia mitchell, a zoey deutch, kostya, kseniya ( i still can't believe i played my own cousin 💀 ), jelani and ines... and liselotte, my samke baby <3

what is your favourite plotline that you've been part of ?

anything romanov-related i've felt so lucky to be a part of ! so much so, that i needed two whole romanovs to play with. the poisoning of alexei / roman v milena plotline had a grip on me, even though my roles were so miniscule. i'm copying answers here but i will always have a soft spot for viani. they've come so far from that six-way thread where evy and martha had to rp with themselves. ani has always been my little guilty pleasure character and i'm so glad that martha felt similarly enough for us to be able to bring them back and close their chapter. it's their two year anniversary soon, i'm in shambles.

what about other people's plotlines ?

you already KNOW i'm a sucker for ships. samke is forever my otp, i sometimes forget that femkris was a thing ?? my eyes were glued whenever we got new farnauld or annexei content. if i could list out every single hshqship here, i would. i love love <3

who is your favourite character from the ones you've played ? why ? what made you love them ? what made them so fun to write ?

i've had a surprising lot of fun playing jelani, which i really hadn't expected when he was first born, with a reece king fc. it's been so entertaining to write someone so unapologetically messy and i think what i loved most about writing with him was how easy it was to have chem with other characters. jelani and aurel were so easy, i love my brotp. jelstrid and jelimpia will always have a place in my heart. i also can't not say armani. she's not a character with too much depth but she was always a character that i could come back to for something light-hearted and one that i feel like i've grown up with. i just love the oranje-nassaus so much. not a character, but it was so much fun being a part of the gossip blog. it was so unserious and i used to read back on some of the answers and laugh at how funny everyone is.

if you could relive a plotline, which would it be ?

not exactly a plotline but every event has been so fun, even when we'd thought they'd get repetitive. the points games, the auction event, the murder mystery. i loved how involved everyone would get, both ic and ooc. you guys have kept this group so fresh and interesting.

is there a plotline that you'd edit now if you could ?

not at all.

what's a plotline you wish you would have been able to finish before closing or just write more of ?

i wish i'd gotten more time with invente ! i'm so glad that i was naomi'd into bringing ines. i had great big shoes to fill after sylvia but i had such a fun time writing ines and i'm glad i'd gotten the chance. writing fanni x ines threads really helped me better understand her character and i wish i had more time to explore her more.

what is your favourite ooc memory ?

i'm going to ditto martha and say battling the crazy muns. i know i've just written paragraphs on paragraphs about how big a part this rp has been to me but,,, we've had our fair share of crazies ! i'm glad we could all laugh about it after. the admin snapchat group with eve and evy will also have a special place in my heart. you probably don't remember but i vividly remember us all sending each other voice notes and being shocked by each other's accents ??? i was so skeptical about discord at first but i'm so glad i joined. it's made every event and each bit of drama so much juicier and it's given me the chance to get to know u all better. serre loves me so much, she sent me donuts for valentine's day last year and i'm still emo abt it

where can others find you if they want to get in touch ?

discord ! i might check this blog every once in a while but i think it's time for me to finally let tumblr rest.

what else would you like to say ?

i've said a few things here but this honestly feels so bittersweet to me. the dash has been dead for a little bit now but i've, quite honestly, still been checking it daily, hoping there'll be a little something new for me to read and hold onto. i really never would have imagined that a group of fictional royals would have had such a grip on me. each character was so fleshed out that i couldn't help but feel invested in all these stories and now that it's time for the group to close, i'm hit with the fact that i have to say goodbye to so many characters i've watched grow, but also a community that i've grown up around. my writing has improved drastically over the years and it's a testament to the sheer talent of the people in this group. every single member of this group over the years has been so instrumental in the worldbuilding and it's so crazy to look at hshq and remember that it all stemmed from a rich kids rp. i've said it to e and evy but this group is honestly legendary, in our obscure little community. not just in longevity but the rise of model fcs and medium gifs in the rpc definitely started here ! you guys are so so talented and it's been such a privilege to be a part of it. if your muse ever strikes, i hope you'll write a thread or two here. i've yet to read the final chapters popping up on my dash – i'm still in denial and i'm not ready to let these characters go. i don't want to sound too sappy and dramatic, but what we had here was truly rare. i adore you all and i hope we stay in touch <3