#and then she had to explain the difference between humans and demons and celestials

[amazingdeadfish]

How did the mayor react when they saw LBD use her power for the first time? I mean, they couldn't read, I don't think they knew about magical powers

They probably thought it was the most normal thing in the world.

I mean... Lady Bone Demon's magic and her abilities is just one of the things they have always known. Discovering Lady Bone had powers, or rather, watching her used them, probably happened right from the get go. The moment they woke up for the first time, she was using them.

It does not give them much room or time to question the logistics of it, especially when they are already preoccupied absorbing the world around them, for what to them feels as though it's the first time.

Kind of like how children (most likely) won't question the logistics of breathing until they are older. It is something that had always stuck and only question when the question just spontaneously comes to mind.

I... Don't know if I'm making any sense, haha

[parad-ice-lostandfound]

Prompt:

Pairing: OM!Brothers and GN!MC

Genre: NA

TW: NA

“I’m telling ya, I didn’t steal it!”

“Then where is it Mammon?!”

“How would I know?!”

You sighed, massaging your forehead as an unfortunate witness to the argument. Levi and Mammon squabbling wasn’t a rare sight in the House of Lamentation; it was a regular enough occurrence that Lucifer merely sighed and ignored it as long as it didn’t turn physical. However, the reason for this particular fight was something new. Something that didn’t have to do with Levi’s loaned money or Mammon’s schemes. The reason why the second-born and third-born were yelling at each other had to do with you; specifically, a ring you had lost a few hours back.

It was an heirloom that you had inherited, a present from your guardian on your eighteenth birthday. It was to symbolize your coming of age, they had said with tears in their eyes. Apparently, it had been in the family for centuries, and your guardian had made you swear that you would take care of it like your ancestors had before. But when you live a crazy, hectic life like yours, things are bound to get misplaced every once in a while.

You never really wore the ring unless it was a special occasion, but you were feeling particularly homesick today. So you had removed it from its box, intending to wear it for some time before keeping it back. As silly as it may sound, the ring soothed your longing for the Human Realm whenever it got too bad.

“I swear I didn’t take it!” Mammon’s tone of indignation brought your attention back to the present. Realizing that you needed to stop the two of them before Levi summoned Lotan or something, you stood. One movement from you was enough for both the demons to fall silent, two pairs of eyes watching you carefully. Clearing your throat, you smiled at the two. “Let’s not fight anymore, alright? I’m sure Mammon’s not lying. It should be in the house, so let’s start searching for it. We shouldn’t be wasting our time like this,” you reasoned, earning a huff from both parties.

And so started the search for the ring. You had given them a brief description of how it looked since neither of them had seen you wear it before. Soon the rest of the brothers were roped in to search for it as well, each one turning a section of the HOL upside down in search of the piece of jewellery.

Your hand brushed against something cold and metal as it dived between sofa cushions. Hope flared in your chest as you felt around to grab and pull it out.

You smiled at the lost ring which now sat in the palm of your hand. “I found it!” your voice rang out, bringing your beloved demons to where you were to get a glimpse.

None expected to see the ring they’d gifted to Lilith aeons ago.

Lucifer

Out of everyone, Lucifer is the most surprised. He stands still while his brothers show varying levels of disbelief and confusion. It’s only after his brain has realized that yes, it is indeed Lilith’s ring, and is reminded that he still needs to ask you where you got it from that he finally tells the others to shut up.

Listens attentively as you explain that it was a family heirloom. His eyes never leave you, and it’s honestly kinda unnerving how he doesn’t even blink while you speak.

Recollects how it was given to Lilith when she got her second pair of wings. Actually, didn’t Belphie and Beel have rings that matched with this one-?

Has a fond smile on his face when Belphie brings their rings and everyone sits down to admire the jewellery and talk about good times in the Celestial Realm.

Mammon

Mammon sucks in a breath when he sees the ring in your palm, the light glinting off the metal. Platinum, his mind supplies, as memories of him going through different kinds of metals to get the best one surface. Doesn’t even realize when his eyes fill with tears as he is reminded of his late sister.

Apart from a small gasp, Mammon doesn’t really make a sound for the first few minutes. Once he’s had enough time to reminisce, he starts firing the questions. Where did you get it? Why didn’t you tell him about it? Did you know it belonged to Lilith?

Mammon immediately recognizes the ring because not only had he selected the metal, he had also designed it with Asmo and Levi’s help. He remembered making two more, one for Beel and one for Belphie.

Sits down beside you, asking before taking the ring and examining it. Once he’s made sure that it was taken care of and cherished, he gives it back to you, uncharacteristically quiet as he leans against you while his youngest brothers get their own rings and everyone sits down to talk about the good old days.

Leviathan

Leviathan isn’t sure at first that it is the same ring that was gifted to Lilith. But after looking at Mammon and Lucifer’s reactions, he is convinced. He would relate this to an anime, but he’s just busy thinking about those days, back when his sister was alive and he was a general of the Celestial Realm.

A familiar feeling takes hold of him. He has lost so much; his position, his sister, his grace.

So why do you get to have something to remember her by? Lilith was his sister. He should have the ring, or at least one of his brothers. After all, he helped with making it…

Levi slowly removes himself from the scene, choosing to go back to his room to sulk at the unfairness of the situation. It’s only after he’s thought things through and realized that he’s not only hurting you but also disrespecting Lilith’s memory by acting this way that he leaves his room. He finds you and apologizes for his behaviour, but doesn’t tell you what exactly had gotten him into a bad mood before.

Satan

Satan has a vague knowledge of who the ring used to belong to. Lucifer’s shared memories tell him that much. However, he is intrigued as to how you got hold of it.

Doesn’t really hound you with questions, but instead listens to explain how it was a family heirloom and you had no idea that it had once belonged to Lilith.

Feels kinda out of place, since the rest of the brothers start talking about the Celestial Realm and debates whether to go back to his reading, before feeling your hand on his. He looks up to see you smiling at him, almost as if to make sure he knows that just because he was formed after the Fall, that doesn’t make him any less a part of the family.

Stays for your sake, listening to his brothers talk about how and why they made the rings.

Asmodeus

Asmo’s first reaction to seeing the ring is “Ooh, pretty ring. This reminds me of one we made… for Lilith..”

Once he finds out that it’s the same ring, he takes it from you and inspects it carefully. No, he’s not implying that you didn’t take good care of it MC, he just wants to see it’s in good shape.

Honestly proud of his work. Yeah, yeah, Levi and Mammon helped as well, but he did design the thing you know? And it lasted for so long, that means his craftsmanship was impeccable.

Gets excited when Belphie and Beel bring their rings and regales you with tales from their time in the Celestial Realm.

Beelzebub and Belphegor

Beel and Belphie instantaneously recognise the ring in your hand. After all, they had the matching set stashed away safely in their room.

Both have very similar reactions to seeing the ring. The twins both feel a bit of regret and guilt, but that’s chased away as soon as it comes. Asmo’s enthusiastic suggestion to get the other two rings helps with that, and Belphie surprisingly volunteers to go bring them.

Belphie, being the little shit he is, remarks that now the three of you can match as he hands Beel his ring and wears his own. You wear the ring to humour him, and that starts a playful argument between the remaining brothers.

While the others are distracted, Beel asks you and Belphie to hand him the rings. You do so, and the sixth born shows you something you hadn’t noticed before. Engraved, on the inside of each ring, is a phrase. Beel’s says ‘The sun’, Belphie’s says 'The moon’, and yours says, 'The stars’.

[t-305tv]

Hi, can you do one with Tori being an angel and Jade being a devil and they're involved in a forbidden relationship, please?

In the celestial realm, Tori glimmered with the pure light of an angel, her wings spanning wide and shimmering with every movement. She exuded kindness and compassion, her heart radiating warmth to all who crossed her path.

Contrastingly, Jade embodied the darkness of a devil, her presence commanding and alluring with an air of mystery that drew others in. Her wings, obsidian and edged with crimson, hinted at the power she wielded, while her piercing gaze held a depth that few dared to explore.

Despite their stark differences, Tori and Jade found themselves inexplicably drawn to each other. Their forbidden attraction sparked a tumultuous romance that defied the boundaries set by their celestial kin.

Tori, with her unwavering belief in redemption and forgiveness, saw beyond Jade's facade of darkness. She saw the flicker of light buried deep within Jade's soul, a light waiting to be ignited.

Jade, in turn, found solace in Tori's purity, a purity that offered her a glimpse of the goodness she had long believed herself unworthy of. Tori's presence brought a sense of peace to the chaos that roiled within her.

Tori soared through the clouds, her fluffy white wings taking her higher above the Earth. As an angel, it was her duty to spread love and kindness to humans. But recently, her mind had been distracted by thoughts of a certain demon. 

Jade was unlike any devil Tori had ever met. Where others of her kind reveled in chaos and cruelty, Jade just seemed bored with it all. During their chance encounters on the border between Heaven and Hell, the two found themselves drawn to each other. 

Despite their natural enmity as angels and demons, Tori and Jade's conversations stretched longer each time. There was an energy between them, a spark that neither could explain. One night, as Tori flew over a nighttime city below, she spotted Jade perched on a rooftop, illuminated by the glow of the moon. 

"You again," Jade greeted with a smirk. Tori's heart fluttered at the familiar sight of Jade's piercing blue-green eyes. 

"We shouldn't keep meeting like this. It's wrong," Tori said, though making no move to fly away. Jade reached out a hand and tucked a lock of Tori's brown hair behind her ear. 

"Do you really want to stop?" Jade whispered. Tori hesitated, then leaned in to kiss the demon passionately under the moonlight. Their forbidden love had begun.

Tori sighed contentedly as she rested in Jade's arms, her wings curled around them both. For now, under the cover of night, their differences didn't seem to matter. But she knew that come the dawn, they would have to part again. 

"Stay with me," Jade murmured, running her fingers through Tori's hair. The angel shook her head sadly. "You know I can't. If the others found out..." 

Jade tilted Tori's chin up to look into her eyes. "Don't you ever get tired of following all their rules? Don't you want more than this stolen night?" Her words held a tempting promise, but also potential consequences Tori didn't want to consider. 

Before she could reply, shouts in the distance made them both freeze. "Intruder! A demon on holy ground!" Tori gasped - they must have been spotted from the heavens. She started to pull away but Jade held fast. "Come with me, please," the demon pleaded. 

Tori saw the urgency in Jade's eyes, the care she felt underneath her tough exterior. As the angels' cries grew nearer, she made her choice. "Okay. Let's go." 

Their love was forbidden, frowned upon by both angels and devils alike. They knew that their union would be met with scorn and condemnation, yet they could not deny the pull they felt toward each other.

Their clandestine meetings took place in the shadows, away from prying eyes. Tori and Jade reveled in the stolen moments they shared, their love burning bright despite the darkness that surrounded them.

But even as they clung to each other, they knew that their love was a precarious balance between light and dark, good and evil. Their worlds threatened to tear them apart, yet they refused to let go, holding onto each other with a fierceness born of desperation.

For in each other's arms, Tori and Jade found a love that transcended the boundaries of heaven and hell, a love that defied all odds and dared to rewrite the rules of the celestial realm.

Spreading her midnight black wings, Jade scooped Tori into her arms and took off into the night, pursuing a future without borders between them at last. Their love had defied thedivide between Heaven and Hell - now nothing would keep them apart.

[hihopelessromantics]

Thing in my drafts I found inspired by a conversation between me and @librathefangirl about intercultural communication in nnt. Original post:

Another interesting thing to play into is how they view skills and hobbies is the goddess / demon culture shock they must experience in the human world. Elizabeth and Meliodas might have totally outside-the-box-ways of solving complex issues that humans can't imagine because well, in their realms, different things are possible. People they've encountered may consider them airheaded for things that any demon or goddess may conclude.

This phemonemon would happen to fairies and giants too, but demons and goddesses have always had a much more complicated view of humans due to their respective cultures. And vice versa. Fairies were straight up gone (?) from the Britannia dimension for centuries, while the giants mainly maintained a buisness relationship with humans. Of the races, therefore, I would say humans would have the best general understanding of giant culture. They know the least about fairies, and their understanding of goddess and demon culture equally sucks due to propoganda and the war.

Some example ideas!

Elizabeth doesn't know how human city planning works and can name maybe sixteen human colors. Five of these, she's told, do not exist. In her human lives she's been fascinated with both architecture and abstract art, and enjoyed hobbies involving both. The notion that someone would commit tax fraud is something she cannot wrap her mind around. Paperwork in the celestial realm is hella efficient. But POLITICAL fraud / detail oriented drama happens all the time and she knows 73 ways to shut it down quickly. More than half of these would result in the offender being openly shunned / banished by goddess politicians and she is not able to replicate them in human society.

Meliodas knows exactly what the mantis shrimp colors Elizabeth identifies are called, but only in demon. He thinks not being able to understand the “more intelligent” Britannia animals is a skill issue on his part. He has spent several centuries trying to get horses to respond to him the way dragons have in the past (that one scene from the new movie killed me). Because human adults rarely have the type of respect toward creatures he's used to seeing in the demon realm (they keep trying to tell him that no plants aren't sentient, not even certain types of plant, what do you mean just ask them not to damage the road with their root system?) he takes advice on wildlife mainly from children, witches, and Horse Girls TM. King won't correct him because that would mean unraveling 3,000 years of tales and explaining that there is no pixie that ritualistically collects human teeth. If you ask Meliodas why he thinks someone would possibly want to collect teeth he will tell you incredibly specific stories about the demons in his army who do so, including a sweet-tempered general who wears necklaces of her ancestors’ fangs and considers it her most wholesome family tradition. Her particular necklace weighs almost ten pounds. King does not want to think any more about demon teeth than he already has.

Thoughts?

[thessaliah]

The Light of Chaldeas: Plot hole or ultimate Mystery Box to be resolved?

Also known: Why did Goetia choose the year 2016 as the ending of human history, if it continued to the last day of 2017? Therein lies the mystery because Holmes himself said:

Goetia incinerated human history and went back in time from the year 2016 to collect that energy. In other words, the Demon God King knew. That there would be no human history to be recovered beyond that year. He saw 2016 as a turning point and thus destroyed the Human Order from the past.

Let’s recap FGO from the Prologue and the mystery of the light of civilisation extinguishing after 2016 (Image Heavy):

I’ve collected NA screenshots because they are easier to read, but keep in mind the dates and years in NA are not the original ones. FGO began with Olgamarie detecting a crisis a few months before Guda’s recruit to Chaldea, a crisis that was potentially linked to the year 2004 AD, in the city of Fuyuki, or so they wanted to investigate. This is how she explains things:

Now the original just to refresh the date:

Humanity becomes extinct in the year 2016, not the year 2017. It’s impossible for Chaldeas to have detected the self-proclaimed “Alien God” threat because of a simple thing: Chaldeas projects what happens up 100 years in the future, and the Alien God attack (or U Olgamarie Beast VII strikes back) isn’t a thing yet in 2115. Don’t follow me? Let’s take a look at Chaldeas’ appearance:

This is how it normally should look if humanity has a future and only looks that was because Sheba Lenses aren’t properly calibrated. When Olga asks Lev to calibrate them:

It becomes a dull lifeless celestial body. As you can see. Then your next point would be: It’s because of the Human Incineration? Actually...the incineration has yet to take place and when it does, Chaldeas looks very different:

Chaldeas is literally on fire from the beginning to the end of the Incineration, meaning that it can’t be Goetia’s doing. In the first place, Fuyuki Singularity didn’t have the band of lights in the atmosphere which the world had after the incineration (this appears even in events, as you can see in this Summer CM):

Of course, a logical explanation is that Nasu retconned things (and he did) when he decided to continue beyond part 1 and likely Fuyuki (which originally was crumbling at the end of the Prologue but now seems like it keeps existing and the second Part 2 OP hints that Chaldea will return to Fuyuki), but kept repeating Goetia burn what existed for human history, marking 2016 as the last. So the question between plothole and mystery box remains. Making it all more curious that the end of Observer had the light of Chaldeas restored:

So you’re all wondering: Was the detected 2015 crisis about Goetia, anyway? Then why Chaldeas looked different before the Incineration? It’s a mystery. About Olga Strikes Back Crisis. This is how it started, December 31, 2017:

Pay attention to this, because they are misleading describing “Earth” when they are talking about Chaldeas. We see the Border take flight, and there was no bleached world yet outside, and the sky wasn’t that perpetual daylight without sun. What is happening is that Chaldeas, as stated above, is calibrated to simulate the future in 100 years, or a future, projected and created inside of it. So this emergency isn’t on Earth, but on Chaldeas, and took place on 31 December, 2117. Chaldeas doesn’t look like it did in the Prologue of part 1 either:

It’s lifeless but has whiter spots (the Opening has it completely whitened to make the Bleached Chaldeas more obvious), and it cracks:

As you can see. What’s overloaded is within Chaldeas, not the planet. This crisis source is within Chaldeas and overtook reality. But... if this is what Goetia wanted to prevent, he could have burned most of 2017. Instead, Chaldeas detected humanity ended in 2016. Goetia did too, since he decided that would be the end of history to burn. Confused? There are other indications that this isn’t a sloppy plothole that remained when Nasu decided to continue the story (which is still a possibility, I’m open to all alternatives). Those are:

Galahad’s neutral statements of the end of history. As if it’s something already decided, instead of wrought by any individual will or force.

Marisbury Animusphere recruiting the Crypters and embedding them with Sirius Lights to send them in eras to save the world when all these crisis were supposedly unknown (nobody but Roman knew of Goetia). Sirius Light can boost the Human Order and “save the world” by overturning it.

Kirsch’s own salvation plan is based on Marisbury’s magecraft theories.

Marisbury stating Chaldeas was necessary to save humanity (despite it clearly threatened it with the “Alien God” crisis), his pondering of why the human order has been unstable (in that world, FGO) after the turn of AD. Over 2000 years ago which is when Animusphere start to research to create Chaldeas and the date Lev brings in that crossover manga, saying maybe they were 2000 years too late, “Animusphere.” Marisbury is either a  secret antagonist (even after death) or potential savior whose plan derailed. Kirei did say Animusphere aspirations come to an end when they manage to freeze Chaldeas (the attack’s true goal, by the way).

Holmes thinking that he actually agreed with the “Alien God” plan, that’s why became an Apostle. He doesn’t remember it, but if he did, he knows he’ll go back to that side.

Chaldea was outside space-time continuum when the world hit the year 2017: they were in the Time Temple. And conveniently, the players don’t see exactly how they go back and how the world was restored, because Guda was unconscious as they had difficulties to recover them from the coffin. We have a potential “unseen” and unreliable narrator aftermath.

Wrong choices, wrong prosperity definition by Kirsch about our timeline, a frequent description for worlds which got pruned. 

Rayshift “true purpose” that Morgan keeps hinting. And since we’re on it, the Lost Worlds born from Lostbelts that are originally simulations manifested on the blank planet generated from a Tree of Fantasy. The convergence of fantasy and reality through rayshift too (Morgan and Ash Tree Savior example). 

Those could indicate an underlying crisis, that several parties (including Beasts) are trying to avert and igniting new catastrophes when they do. Or, of course, it could have been a plot hole, and it was U-Olga all along.

[soldmysoultootomeboys]

Obey Me Brothers Wedding HCS

Just some wedding headcanons for the boys bcuz i’m soft for them, Gn MC

Thinks about marrying Asmo => 😡💕💕

Lucifer

I can not stress how much this man would be a bridezilla

He’s probably the MOST high maintenance demon when it comes to this, even over Asmo

He gets so stressed over it too and when he's stressed he gets extremely snippy

It takes you knocking a little sense into him to get him back on track

He just wants your day to be perfect and with his brothers causing trouble it's hard to really focus on choosing a tablecloth

He won’t be any nicer to his brothers but he will try to avoid causing fights at this time simply because it's really important to him that ALL of his family is there. 

The night after proposing you find a beautiful envelope on white paper with gold trim in your room you realize it's a congratulation note from the celestial realm, presumably from the big man upstairs, it's still a heartstopping realization when you realize who your father in law technically is

Are you committing a sin marrying a fallen angel? Do you care?

It’s easier to ignore it than do anything else, although you do appreciate them registering for the coffee maker you had on your registry. You needed that. Mammon broke the last one.

Kindly begs asks you NOT to do anything crazy in the week leading up to it

Please MC his heart he's about to explode from stress please don't add to it, just for one week

Diavolo plans his bachelor party at the Fall with Barbatos. Invites you along and you have to explain how bachelor parties work

If it’s up to him the wedding will be all black with red accents eDgY mUcH?

At the altar he kisses you twice, first to show everyone that your his, the second time is just for you two, he hides you away from sight curling his black wings around you and holding you as close as he can bear

In the end it's a very happy celebration filled with good food, family, and friends

When you cut the cake feel free to smash a little bit in his face, this is your only chance, he'll be in too much of a good mood to retaliate...much

Mammon

Luxury luxury luxury

He wants solid gold altars, diamond encrusted bouquets, jewels imported from every corner of the world

He has so many plans (as well as a ridiculously long wedding registry)

But the moment you say you want anything he abandons them 

Whatever you want he wants, but if you wanted some diamonds too that would be great

He absolutely would be down for a wedding bouncy castle

He gets you the biggest diamond ring ever that he buys with his own money from a lot of shifts at Hell's kitchen and modelling gigs

He totally believes in the tradition of not seeing you until your wedding day but he also forgets so he walks in and as soon as he realizes you're getting ready he shuts his eyes and tries to run out. He'll only talk to you from behind the door. 

When he sees you walking down the aisle he falls in love all over again. And he feels like that a hundred different moments. It doesn't matter what you're doing, playing with your veil, wiping cake off the corner of your mouth, yawning, he loves you and loves that you’re his.

He could get married to you in a ditch and still be the happiest man in the world.

He's an absolute goofball and is smiling the entire time

The couple that during their wedding night end up jumping on the bed and having pillow fights while play wrestling

Levi

You really want to marry a gross otaku like him??? Why??

Not that he's complaining! He just doesn't get it. His brothers are so cool and Asmo is so much prettier than him and he doesn't have anything to offer.

It takes a lot of reassuring to convince that this is what you want to do

You two have this same conversation about a million times before the wedding. He just doesn't get why you actually like him. Once it finally sets in that this really is happening and it's not just some big joke he gets really into it and definitely puffs up around his brothers to show off

His first thought is a cosplay wedding and he'll beg for it to be Ruri-chan themed

Good luck getting Lucifer or any of his brothers to agree to dressing up, as funny as it may be

If you shoot that down it's pretty easy to convince him to do something else since mostly he's just excited to be with you

He still has a little Ruri pin on his suit collar and cufflinks

When you walk down the aisle he feels like he’s going to faint from nerves and when it’s time for vows he pulls out a huge list of all the reasons he loves you and why your his Henry, although about half of it compares things you’ve done to things in TSL

He only makes it through a quarter of the way before he gets embarrassed

When he lifts your veil he panics because your so pretty and he can’t handle it

You have to initiate the kiss and when you do he turns as red as a tomato

He tries to play it off but keep a strong arm around his waist unless he really does decide to pass out

He cools down once you guys are at the reception and gets especially excited the little custom made toppers of you two in cartoon form

Satan

He's a bridezilla but in the lightest sense of the word

He won't get upset over mix ups or even really wedding stuff like Asmo or Lucifer but his temper will be extremely fine during this time, especially when it comes to his brothers.

Throws an entire table through the window when Lucifer asks him if he knew where Mammon was

It’s a lot of stress to create the perfect wedding and he buries his nose in different books that can help him

He’s a bit of a perfectionist

The most classic and elegant wedding ever and he’d want to be involved in every step of the way

Very interested in your opinion and if it compares to human weddings

He flushes with pride whenever you compliment something he picked out

Includes casual literary references in his wedding but only so people who really know will realize

Wears a navy suit 

Asmo

Also a bridezilla and a petty one at that

There will be drama, there will be tears, there will be a part where he cries off his mascara because Andrealphus of the damned brought the white bouquets and he wanted the PINK ones. This is HIS day why is she trying to ruin it.

It’s a lot of work trying to keep the damage to a minimal

Part of the reason he gets so upset is because this is your day too and he wants it to be perfect. 

Prepare for a million dress rehearsals.

He wants to help pick out your outfit and makeup! But he also doesn't want to break human tradition...But he wants to help pick out your outfit and makeup so bad!!

If he manages to restrain himself he picks out the makeup artist and the stylizer because he knows what makeup you like and what looks best on your skin.

Most likely tho he'll want to see anyways and bugs you to let him in

You compromise by going shopping with him as he tries on a million dresses and suits

MC the suit on the right or the one on the left?

They both look exactly the same.

"...Left love." "That's exactly what I was thinking. I knew I could trust you to pick out the right answer!"

Even though he's very good at fashion your opinion matters a lot to him. Sure he could make himself look perfect but he wants to look perfect for YOU. He wants to be your version of perfect and if that means he picks the high cut dress instead of the low cut which flatters his waist better then he'll do it. For you.

He's the type to want to have all the spotlight on him so if you're walking down the aisle he's going to do it too! He does it first. HE says for the attention. In reality he wants to be able to see you the moment you step out the doors and down that hall.

Looks super perfect as he waits for you at the aisle but the moment you get married he starts ugly crying. He throws his veil back on so no one can see it but you just lift it up and kiss away his tears.

Even though it's a lot of work it's worth it to be with the demon you love...but if you shove cake in his face he'll seriously kill you, MC do you know how long this took?!!!!! :'(

Beel

He’s more than happy to do whatever you want

Whatever vision you have he's willing to make happen

He does his best but feels a little useless since keeps having to break for snacks

Wonders why you’d want to be with him when all he ever does it eat but he tries not to bring it up in case it would upset you

He honestly does have a lot of fun planning with you and his favorite part was when you got to taste test different cakes because he got to impress you by explaining all the little differences between each one

He ends up being in charge of everything food related and it helps him feel a bit better

Barbatos ends up cooking the dishes 

During the rehearsal he falls in love with you all over again and doesn’t want to let you go the entire time

He gets especially nervous during the month of the wedding

He starts stress eating, going through even more food than normal, but then he gets worried about fitting into his suit and starts working out even more than normal, which makes him hungry again. It’s a terrible cycle

Belphie manages to break him out of it by reminding Beel that you love him more than anyone else

Even though its his wedding he starts setting up just to get out some of his nervous tension until the others shoo him back inside

A huge 20 layer cake each tier a different flavor

He has his own personal cake that's even bigger than the other cake but he’s more than willing to share with you

You two do the cute bit where you smash cake in each others faces

Beel still eats it tho

As much as he loves his family he's so happy to be able to steal you away at the end

Belphie

Planning a wedding is sooo much work

He lets you choose whatever you want as long as you let him sleep

if it was up to him he'd want a small informal celebration with his family but if you want something bigger than he guesses it's fine. As long as he doesn't have to talk to anyone like Diavolo 

He uninvites Lucifer like three times, each time using extremely formal paper with beautiful cursive that must have taken hours. When Lucifer confronts him Belphie just says that it’s too late because he already gave away his seat. 

He only brings him back when you make him

He sleeps more than usual in the weeks leading up to the wedding. You think it’s because of the stress but in actuality he’s trying to save up his sleep so he’s more awake for the ceremony

As much as he may act like he doesn’t care, he really does want to marry you and it makes him happy to think that you’re going to be all his

Beel is obviously his best man and while Belphie waits for you to come down the aisle he leans against him to take a small nap. Or that's what he had planned. The moment the music starts he perks up and finds himself unable to even close his eyes, too fixated on the doors about to open. 

Feeds you the first bite of cake and then just...doesn't stop

He’s so in love with you all he can do is stare

Gives his slice of cake to Beel he'd much rather pay attention to you than eat

However he does smash a little in your face but it’s out of love <3

[kcatta-wodahs]

Making Lore Out of the Angel Event

Im the definition of 'its not that deep but I'm going to dig a hole to make it that deep'

In this case its me making it that deep because otherwise this event is upsetting so I'm making some dark lore theories to make it make sense to me.

I'll have a lot of spoilers below. For the event and everything I know, which is up to like lesson 32 I think.

Basically, TLDR; this was an attack by Michael/their Father on Devildom. Simeon and Diavolo have successfully negated the threat by turning it into a game.

TLDR Thesis; The Celestial Realm is governed through careful mind control. The Demon Bros are not "avatars" because of being demons- they have been cursed by their Father to suffer as no other demon nor angel has to.

First we hear direct from Michael, and he's giving these bangles that appear to brainwash the main cast.

This was an attempt by their Father to bring them back under his control. By control, I mean this literally.

I've felt for a long time that the way the Celestial Realm seems to be run is... shady. It's a utopia to outside appearances only, and those who have been most deeply embroiled in the Great Celestial War know this.

The Great Celestial War was over free will, rather than the specifics of Lilith's situation. She was the catalyst for a long-time-coming revolt against the rulers of the Celestial Realm.

My logic for this:

The reason for Lilith's expulsion goes against the current action plan of the Celestial Realm. Peace between the realms? Sure, but their Father is bound to realize that you put angels, humans, and demons together you're going to end up with more angels like Lilith, who fall for other races. Why would he accept this truce if he lost his favored children over an issue that is very similar? Did he have a change of heart? Heavens no.

Luke's behaviour towards the demon's seems case-and-point. Luke is not the strange one out of the angelic transfer students- Simeon is. Not only that, Simeon is chosen not in an attempt to promote peace, but to protect Luke from being influenced. (Which is, again, the whole point\of the exchange program.)

That time we went to the Celestial Realm for real - Lucifer was worried. Scared, even. This can be explained by, you know, the War and Lilith.. but I wonder if it may be more sinister. Like perhaps being brainwashed.

Diavolo and Barbatos weren’t required to wear bangles to become less “demon-like” for the “party”. This is because the bangles were a ploy to get the brothers back.

My theory is that when an angel begins to show signs of rebellion or questioning the divine order, they are forcibly stopped. Michael is that enforcer, and these 'gifts' are a method of stopping them.

The bangles cause a person to act *perfectly angelic* against their free will. The people affected become all smiles and sunshine, so clearly nothing could be wrong with it, right? They’re happy, right?

No. Very not right, and we can see that through Satan.

Poor Satan is always the exception to the rule of the Brothers, as his circumstances are different from everyone else's.

In this case though, he's the one who provides insight on this mind control. 

Let me remind you of the quotes Satan gives us during this time:

“I feel worked up.” “I don’t feel like myself at all.”

“It feels like something foreign is forcing my heart to be calm.” “Like my heart... becoming tranquil.”

Satan has never been an angel. He has never experienced this before. He has something the other brothers don’t: self-reflection. Satan can tell the difference between his feelings and feelings that are being imposed upon him. He tells you what he feels - “worked up” and “not like himself” and he is not smiling during this. He’s clearly unhappy, even though an angel might say he should feel unburdened by losing his anger.

He even mentions this.

“Normally, that wouldn’t seem like something bad, right?” “Something isn’t right.” “Maybe you shouldn’t come near me when I’m in this state.”

Satan is under the effects of the bangle, being forced to act angelic, but he can tell something “isn’t right.” He clearly shows that he thinks this is a “bad” thing, not because being calm is bad, but because it’s not “normal”. And can I remind you that he’s the Avatar of Wrath? The Sin that is most likely to be dangerous to be around - and yet it’s only when his anger is forcibly quelled that he thinks you should stay away from him. He knows that this is not something to desire. He knows that it is not happiness.

“I can’t concentrate on reading today.”

I mean, he’s obviously going through a lot, so that’s fair. But I have the theory that if he were to try and research this condition he wouldn’t be able to either. I have a theory about the Garden of Eden. My theory is about Paradise.

Remember when Eve ate the fruit? Do you know what that fruit was? Sin?

No. That fruit was knowledge.

Specifically, knowledge of good and evil. Now, why would this knowledge be something to keep from those under the control of the Celestial Realm? It sounds rather like they might be able to then make their own decisions of what is right and wrong.

Satan has known this from the beginning. Knowledge is power. The Ruler of the Celestial Realm, the other demons’ Father, knows this, too.

Why are there no other Avatars?

Sin was not something inherent to Devildom. Sin is a judgement sent from the Celestial Realm. There are no other Avatars because they are a wholly angelic creation. There are other posts that have examined the Sins as outlets, and how each of the brothers are attempting to find ways to allow themselves to express their sin so it does not overtake them.

From the get-go, we are shown that these Sins are a defining point for the brothers, but we’re also shown that they cause more trouble than anything else. Again, part-and-parcel of being a demon, right?

So why aren’t other demons like this?

Look at Diavolo and Barbatos, or even just the background demons who work across Devildom. Look at No. 2. They are all far more complex, and could even be considered normal. No. 2 is specifically meant to be based off of Mammon and his greed, but is much more rounded when we interact with it.

If Diavolo is meant to be the ruler of demonkind -- the paragon of what a demon should be -- then why would he not be the epitome of all of these Sins in one? What is Diavolo, instead?

Diavolo is accepting.

Hold up a moment here. What? Sorry y’all but it sounds to me like Mr. Demon Daddy King trusts his son enough to pass the kingdom on to him... so that must mean that Diavolo is behaving as a demon should.

Barbatos doesn’t question Diavolo’s choices. Nobody does. He’s an all around popular ruler. Devildom seems to be quite.. the opposite of what we’ve been trained to expect, huh? Trained by who exactly?

What are the Demon Brothers?

Cursed. They don’t act like other demons because they’re not like other demons. When they rebelled against their Father, they were punished for this act, but I posit that the punishment and the exile were two different acts. Their Father knew that leaving the Celestial Realm was not punishment to those who desired free will. So instead, he gave them Sin. Something that Demons are not normally bound to.

But how would the brothers know this? They only know what they’ve been taught by angels about demons. Surely these new, pressing desires come from turning into demons..? 

So, why was this not taken seriously?

Short answer: it was. But in the way that aligns with Diavolo’s ultimate goals.

Diavolo wants peace. 

Let’s Talk About Simeon

Simeon is an enigma and a half isn’t he?

Simeon is close with Michael, closer than Luke in any case. Now, I’ll be honest, I can’t remember if it was a fanfiction I read that said this or if it was canon so uh - forgive me. But Simeon was chosen to accompany Luke as an exchange student so that Luke would get some education. Simeon says this is to help relations, as Diavolo wants, but of course that’s what you would say as a sleeper agent?

Now, don’t get sad. Because we love Simeon here and we support him.

Simeon is wise and neutral. He seems to support the brothers, and even still wishes to foster a relationship with them. This could be seen as an attempt to bring them back, or some such, but I like to think that Simeon knows what’s wrong with the Celestial Realm.

Simeon, however, doesn’t think that a revolt can solve it. Simeon is working with Diavolo to create a form of peace - and has been transparent about the fact that Michael chose him to prevent Luke from being corrupted. I like to think he’s also been transparent with Diavolo about Michael’s actual goal. 

Simeon believes that the races should co-exist and love freely. How could love be evil, after all? Whether or not this is a new concept to him (because of his falling for you) or if this is just who he is, I’ll leave up to you and your preferences, but since he is now no longer undateable, it is established that he does not believe love between angels and humans to be bad - as his Father did with Lilith.

What happened, then?

My theory is that Simeon told Diavolo that Michael had given him a task - to give these bangles to the brothers to remind them of the joy they were missing by disobeying the Divine Order. Either that, or to brainwash them into coming back home. 

Simeon’s position would be revealed to Michael if he didn’t give the brothers the bangles, but he does not want to instigate another war either. So he told Diavolo Michael’s plan. 

Diavolo wants peace, and he knows that with time, the brothers can overcome this mind control as they had in the past - especially with his help. 

So thus comes the “party”. 

An excuse to make the bangles seem like a “harmless” gift, that had only gone wrong because of strange magical interference, when really they had done exactly what they were supposed to.

And a wonderful way to maintain peace while leaving the Celestial Realm to stew in their own pots. 

Simeon gets to maintain his facade for everyone - and put on a show for Michael as being loyal. He also gets to show Luke that perhaps being wholly angelic isn’t the way for some people, letting him learn a little more about peaceful coexistence. Nothing happens to ruin Diavolo’s grand plan for peace, and he gets to learn more about the curse that is set upon his friends - One that he hopes to be able to break someday, so they can live their lives unfettered by their Father.

[deans-haunted-baby]

Okay I see there are those who are confused as to why most of us are pissed about 15x19 I will gladly explain in depth:

Let’s start off with our boys Adam Milligan & Michael. These characters have not been seen for 10 fucking years. During that time there were Adam stans like myself campaigning like mad to have him and the infamous archangel return for some much needed closure. We had to content ourselves with headcanons, fanfictions and metas based on what we briefly knew of Adam and Michael as people while they unfairly sat in Hell. You might have seen the “Adam’s Still in Hell” memes that circulated. WE WAITED OVER A DECADE FOR THIS. And finally SPN answers our prayers and returns these boys back into the story for the final season. None of us anticipated what their arc and dynamic would look like. Before we could only imagine who these two characters were/are after having been trapped in a cage so long; what their personalities would be like and if they’d be antagonistic to TFW. 15x08 was a surprise because not only were Adam and Michael likable right out of the gate but the writing for them and their dynamic was damn near flawless! And Jake fucking stole the show he killed it as these two. It’s a crime they were not featured in more episodes because the chemistry between these characters is amazing and they’re played by the same dude.

We were given so much background into both Adam and Michael’s psyches in just a short period of time. Their motivations, interests and how they viewed those that wronged them (like the Winchesters); how Hell affected/changed them both and how they viewed their families. We got to see them banter, cooperate with one another and most importantly their different personalities. With Jake Abel appearing in only a handful of SPN episodes, he still fleshed out Michael and Adam beautifully; giving them layers and complexities that most side-characters (who’ve appeared more times than they have) didn’t. The way Jake played Adam’s anger and resentment towards his brothers was brilliant because it’s more under the surface compared to his angsty teenage self in 5x18. He’d become somewhat restrained, laid-back, gentler and wiser which works because Adam displays traits similar to Sam and Dean. He’s kinder and has a sense of humor but none of that distracts from rational thought as he’s quick to analyze and dissect situations. Man, he would’ve made a great hunter/Men of Letters recruit. We know right off the bat Adam’s pissed at his brothers for abandoning him in a thousand-year-prison-sentence and didn’t lift a finger BUT that ironically doesn’t compromise his willingness to help them unlike his past self in 5x18. Jake gets the point across with this character without saying much and that’s what made him so compelling to watch in this episode.

Now Michael was even more of a mystery onion since he wasn’t onscreen as much as Adam had been in past episodes so Jake got to really build on top of this character. Going from the uptight, cold-blooded merciless celestial warrior/dutiful son of God we saw in 5x22 to someone whom despite his arrogance and regal princely demeanor was very human, intelligent, fair, mindful and compassionate. He trusted Adam and respected his opinions even if he didn’t agree 100%. Whereas most angels take over the vessel completely from their original occupant; Michael chooses to share his vessel with Adam as a mutual agreement which says a lot about who he is. He’s fascinated with humanity and wanted to explore it instead of returning to his throne in the clouds. We know that Michael was created specifically to be Humanity’s protector and guardian of Heaven and Earth so these quirks he’d demonstrated in 15x08 aren’t too far off. He holds a lot of pain inside from his abandonment issues with his father whom he loves to a fault and grief over the death of his brothers. On the surface there’s very much an abused child syndrome thing going on with him though he masks it with a domineering presence. And above all this we saw that he was capable of forgiveness. Whether or not Michael always had these traits inside to begin with, its very evident that his friendship with Adam influenced the person he became post-Hell. And that was someone who, like Castiel, chose to rebel for the sake of free will by aligning himself with the Winchesters after witnessing the evil his father had committed. He actually cared about saving the world. This is what we call character development.

What does 15x19 do? It shits all over that. We don’t get to see Adam and Michael’s dynamic at all; and this was perhaps one of (if not the first) most healthy portrayal of a relationship between an angel and its original vessel occupant in the history of Supernatural. Adam is just killed off-screen Thanos style without so much as one last word and Michael barely reacts like he gives a crap. It was just established to us in 15x08 that he’d developed an emotional bond with Adam through years of inhabiting the same body. He protected Adam while they were trapped together in Hell. They were each other’s only friend and source of comfort. They’d developed a certain co-dependency on each other while respecting one another’s space. They’d both made peace with their joint situation. All they had was each other and the writing in 15x19 basically tells us their relationship meant absolutely NOTHING to Michael based on his OOC actions in this episode. He shows up much darker and shadier now that Adam is gone and its like all those years of friendship, things like that independence, newfound strength and humility he’d gained from living with a human for so long are erased. Michael just reverts back to Chuck’s 5x22 bitchboy persona in the most ridiculous 180 shift I���ve ever seen in my whole damn life. And all because his little brother called him mean names. Pitiful. Just when he lectures Lucifer about standing up for what’s right; he betrays his own words, his allies and the rest of humanity in T-minus 2 minutes. That is total character assassination. Nothing about this motivation makes any sense.

There’s no build up to it, no foreshadowing in 15x08 or throughout 15x19 until they get to the lake. He’s completely deconstructed as a character in this episode and rendered weak. It’s like 15x08 never happened. Stripped of all his development for lousy shock value. Instead utilizing all of what he’d learned through Adam and sticking it to Lucifer by proving he could be more than what Chuck tried to mold him into; Michael becomes just another NPC in the story forfeiting the hero he was. And his reasons for siding with Chuck are never specified. Was it about about saving Adam? Was it about proving something to Lucifer (whom he’d already killed in anti-climatic fashion)? Was it all an act that he was in on with the Winchesters; cause there’s absolutely NO FUCKING WAY they could’ve predicted he’d flip on them like that for their magical plan to work. Not after everything Chuck’s done, killing Adam and Jack and leaving Michael to rot in Hell for eternity. And why would he suddenly go along with destroying the Earth when defeating Chuck would probably get Adam back (if that was his goal) which IT DID not to mention its his sworn duty to freaking protect humanity, hello? So his betrayal meant jack shit in the end as it got him killed by his fucking dad!! He’s brought back into the show only to be ruined forever and killed off in the stupidest fashion.

Moving on.

Jack Kline & Castiel. This iron-clad relationship has been in development for 4 in 1/2 years since before Jack was even born. And next to Adam & Michael its the other most healthy relationship on the show. Castiel, a million year old celestial being, spent the first 9 years of his arc on Supernatural following around the Winchesters, being torn between his loyalty to them and to Heaven. He rebelled when he was supposed to be a straight-by-the-book warrior of God. And he defied every rule in the process even when the odds were stacked against him. There was an endless rinse and repeat cycle of love, loss, betrayal and redemption when it came to his relationship with Sam and Dean. It made his character complex, interesting and layered but it still didn’t give him an arc that was his own. Castiel started out moreso being written as just the Winchester’s angel BFF/side-kick. Until Lucifer got Kelly Kline pregnant in 12x08 then things really took off. Before this, Castiel was a lost soul. His faith was broken, he was depressed, lonely, battered and rundown from years of being conflicted over the other angels and Sam & Dean. He felt he’d lost a sense of self and meaning in his life. And didn’t have a mission. Once he turned on Heaven’s orders, Castiel was a rebel angel without a cause so to speak. But like I said this changes the moment he meets Kelly.

Originally Castiel was suppose to kill Kelly in 12x19 because she was carrying the child of the devil and Nephilim are considered forbidden abominations. Told that if Lucifer’s kid was born he could unleash even more evil into the world. But instead of doing what he thought he should, Castiel decides to runaway with her. Choosing to protect her from all threats (Lucifer, demons, other angels, princes of Hell); this especially included the Winchesters. During this short time-frame the angel develops a strong, emotional bond with Kelly and her unborn son that stretches all the way to the S12 finale; to the point where it actually gave him a power-boost. From the womb, Jack appoints Castiel to be his father and protector and he’s given a glimpse into the child’s destiny that he’ll bring paradise to the world. A prophecy that the writers establish head on. This is an unusual circumstance because right here is where Castiel’s solo arc apart from the Sam & Dean takes shape. The journey of becoming a first time parent and guardian. Its a new kind of independence that for the first time has nothing to do with his friends or his family members/colleagues in the sky. Its his own personal mission that he willingly accepts, the second he connects with Jack from inside Kelly. Castiel immediately falls in love with him, before they even see each other; and adopts the boy devoting himself to keeping him safe. Making a promise to Kelly that would later become a vital plot-point in the seasons to come.  

Castiel literally risks everything (Heaven and Earth) to ensure Jack’s birth and ends up dead by 12x23′s startling conclusion. Leaving the newborn infant Nephilim alone in the care of the Winchesters going into season 13; scared, confused and aged into a seemingly 18 year old boy for his own protection. And Alexander Calvert who is a fantastic addition to the cast really brings something wonderful to this role; he’s like a breath of fresh air and a bright light in the middle of a dark room. Jack’s naïve, innocent and curious about his surroundings but also as Castiel once put it “remarkably intuitive”. Right when he’s introduced his arc is intentionally paralleled with Castiel’s. Their alien-fish-out-of-water beginning is practically identical as is their adorable stoic facial expressions. Like father like son. And this helps because while the angel is currently dead in the beginning of season 13, there’s an empty void he’s left behind. So Jack is kind of his temporary stand-in. Odd enough this type of switcharoo would’ve been considered very controversial but it’s handled quite well. Alex is so likable and charming I almost wish Supernatural had introduced him sooner. I mean I really thought I was looking at Castiel’s actual mini-me and not the son of Satan. But I digress Jack’s story in the first half of this season is pretty much about discovery and reuniting with Castiel. He’s a baby so everything is new to him but he’s also one of the most powerful beings in the universe destined for greatness which makes the Winchesters very nervous.

Jack remembers choosing Castiel as his dad which is why he already feels strongly connected to him. Its a bond so powerful that it actually resurrects Castiel out of the Empty the first time. Something Chuck himself was unable to do (that was until the mess that is 15x19). When they’re finally reunited the payoff comes so naturally. Misha and Alex have such a phenomenal onscreen chemistry starting with that first hug; they really play off one another so well that it doesn’t feel like two angels interacting but a genuine father and son duo. So much of what makes Jack and Castiel’s relationship so relatable, deep and endearing is because of what the actors bring to it. But they’re not just a fascinating relationship, they’re compelling on their own too. Both trying to find their way in the world and within the Winchesters’ lives. Death is no stranger to either of them (tragic being that Jack is only a toddler). They’ve each experienced their own personal pain, traumas, life lessons, mistakes and decisions. The biggest for Castiel would be his deal with the Empty to save Jack in 14x08. While for Jack it was the consequences of said deal that would lose his soul causing him to accidently kill Sam and Dean’s mom in 14x18 as a result (something that Jack struggles with immensely to the brink of depression from so much guilt and regret that he’d rather die). Repercussions that would follow into the shows final season. What’s interesting about this deal though is that Castiel made it on parental instinct alone not as a promise to Kelly. He chose to sacrifice himself for the sake of his son as a selfless act of love and kept it a secret from Sam & Dean until his death in 15x18. That’s the extent how much this child meant to him. The other great thing about their family dynamic is that it parallels nicely with the Winchesters. Castiel and Jack share this unconditional love that can never be broken. its even greater than their ties to the Winchesters themselves just as Sam & Dean’s love for each other is greater than any of their other relationships. They would do anything for each other. Castiel would go to the ends of the earth for the little nougat baby because that’s his son.  

Each time these characters were faced with danger or died, Castiel and Jack were overcome with extreme devastation and distress. That said its not just pain that binds these two its happiness. Jack is the best thing that ever happened to Castiel. Literally becoming a father to that child saved him. It brought him back to life, restored his faith and gave him a sense of self-worth and hope he’d long since abandoned. And for Jack, Castiel is the best dad he’ll ever have! He gave this baby comfort, wisdom, nurturing, strength. Was always there when he needed him whether it was to talk or to have his back. No other person in Jack’s life has ever made such an important impact nor made him feel more safe and loved than Castiel. Even when Jack had done such a horrible thing to Mary alienating himself from his family; it was Castiel’s unyielding devotion to Jack that ended up being his salvation. This was huge because once again he’d chosen over the Winchesters proving that no matter what (whether it be the world ending) his son comes first. So when Castiel’s pact with the Empty finally comes due in 15x18 you’d think it’d have an earth-shattering affect on Jack in 15x19. I mean for the first bit it does...until he becomes God. Then its like to hell with that relationship. Castiel is a complete afterthought to Jack and the rest of TFW in this episode. JACK DOESN’T EVEN GET TO GRIEVE HIM PROPERLY. And he just lost his dad because of a deal he’d made a year ago for him. A DEAL JACK HAS BEEN FUCKING DREADING WHILE HE WAS SOULLESS MIND YOU. And when he finally has the power to bring him back, he doesn’t? Jack just walks around with a conceited smirk on his face, bids Sam and Dean adieu and fucks off. I mean who gives a shit right, its only your dad that you love more than anything. This was extremely OOC given that time in 14x14 Jack nearly lost his shit when Castiel got infected with gorgon poison; the anti-venom wasn’t working so Jack resorts to using his powers putting his soul at risk.

I mean if he was so limited to helping Castiel in the Empty AT LEAST FREAKING CLARIFIY THIS TO THE AUDIENCE. This is not about shipping a certain pairing btw. Jack becoming God is not the issue its his characterization after the fact. His first instinct would’ve been to save his dad above getting in touch with the Earth. Yes we knew this transformation was coming it was foreshowed way back in Season 12. Does that justify bad writing or character assassination?? HELL NO.

This is what I’m talking about, episode 15x19 deliberately butchers these characters and their relationships. It shat all over them. No one is behaving like themselves. The pacing is wonky and inconstant. The script feels like it underwent several rewrites and I swear there were scenes cut out. The acting is off too and maybe the pandemic could be blamed for these things but it ultimately falls on the writer. Buckleming screwed up by showing us they don’t know who the hell these characters are, their motivations nor do they give a rat’s ass. And its noticeable on screen. I’ve known better fanfiction writers for SPN than these guys. It’s like they all came back to work but just didn’t care to put the effort into it. That’s why people like me are upset and we have every freaking right to be. Some of us have been with this series for the entire 15 year run. I at least expect these characters to be handled better and for things to make sense. 15x19 doesn’t and its not satisfying its just a cruel joke. The writers and Dabb should be embarrassed to have put this out there thinking we’d just swallow it and shut up. But far as I’m concerned the only thing this episode serves is to disrespect and ruin everybody while angering long-time fans.

MICHAEL. ADAM MILLIGAN. JACK KLINE AND CASTIEL DESERVED BETTER. And that’s the tea.

[nimedhel09]

Other Fairy Tail headcanons noone asked for

Yes, I have more. Again, be prepared for the longest post, but also for probably some Frenchisms and inaccurate English.

- Human-hating-and-eating dragons existed long before the war, but they were few, as human meat wasn't that good for most draconic tastebuds... Most of the dragons preferred to just ignore humans, as they were seen as lesser beings by a big part of the dragon population.

- Dragonof and Montes Secreta are a rare show of dragon-human symbiosis. The dragons protect the territory from invading forces, be they human, dragon or otherwise, and the humans take care of the dragons and feed them.

- Dragons and dragon slayers hoard. What exactly depends on each individual's interests.

-> Natsu likes to hoard stuff that makes him think of his friends... or that belonged to his friends before he hoarded them.

-> Gajeel hoards metal (because food), comfy stuff (mostly cushions, pillows and sheets) and he began hoarding books when he began to form a friendship with Levy.

-> Erza, of course, hoards her armor and weapons. She has a very difficult time parting from any of her belongings, which is why she always over-prepares for quests. The slayers and herself realize the origin of her "problem" when her parentage is discovered.

-> Rogue collects frog stuff. He had a passion for frogs as a child (seems like a headcanon I share with @pencilofawesomeness hehe) that never really went away. So each time he goes on a quest and sees anything ressembling a frog? He buys it. Frosch has many maaaaany frog onesies, in all the colours imaginable, as they also share Rogue's love for frogs, but her favourite is the pink one (yes, in my head, Frosch is a girl).

-> Sting hoards jewellry and gems. He loves the colours and the sparkliness.

-> Laxus collects music. He does not realize he hoards it until he hears the other slayers talking about their hoards and realizes he has a lot of vinyls in his house.

-> Erik/Cobra hoards miscellaneous stuff that catches his eye for longer than 5 seconds. Usually, it's small and he got in the habit of hiding everything in places he marks to find later, since he never had the stability of having a nest/cave/territory that belongs to him until after he was pardonned with the rest of Crime Sorcière.

-> Wendy hoards tea sets. She loves them, she loves to look at them, and each time she can find one that calls to her, she'll buy it and add it to her hoard. She also has a special tea set for visitors. It is the only tea set that people other than her and Charle/Carla can use or touch. Noone outside of the slayers, exceeds and Levy know that.

- The god and demon slayers also have biological modifications to get closer to the creatures they have the ability to "slay". Gray has little horns that his hair hides, he has night vision, which makes his eyes reflective in the dark (something that has freaked out a few guild members and people he had to fight against) and his teeth are very SHARP, although they're smaller than dragon slayer fangs and narrower.

- Juvia has had a very stern talking to by Cana, Mira and Erza about her harassing of Gray. Gajeel was not happy to see her so despondent afterwards, but when she explained what happened, he gently told her that it was something she needed to hear, because her behaviour was not OK. She still struggles with obsessive behaviour, low self-esteem and anxiety, but she gets help from Mest.

- Gray and Juvia have a talk when Juvia realizes that she does not want to be that person, and they finally get to have a healthy friendship. No romance, though, as Juvia finally grows out of her unhealthy obsession with Gray and realizes that's not what love is supposed to be.

- As a coping mechanism for... everything, Juvia bakes. A LOT. And she offers her confections to everyone in the guild. You know she is having a bad time if she brings a lot of pastries, and if it lasts for more than a day, it's very bad. Mira and Gajeel have developed a system without meaning to when that happens. Mira works on getting Juvia to cheer up and Gajeel gets her to open up to him.

- Mest never turned Brandish against August. Nuh-uh. No sir, he definitely did NOT. Also no pedophilic thoughts about Wendy. He finds her warm and adorable and he loves her as a little sister, thank you very much. He was also head over heels about Lahar and it took years to get over his death. He is understandably very weary of falling in love. He also develops a crush for Macbeth/Midnight after Crime Sorcière was legalized and the members came to mingle with Fairy Tail more often.

- Most of the members of the younger generation, at least, are not heterosexual (because sexuality is a freaking continuum, people). I might expand on this at a later date if anyone is interested.

- Jellal and Erza have a very serious talk and both work on their Tower induced trauma for years before they decide they might want to try a romantic relationship. Jellal is the one that has the most difficulty healing from the past and seeing Erza as a person instead of his saviour/deliverance/light and stops putting her on a pedestal.

- Erik talks to Kinana about Cubellios and how he thinks she might be his lifelong friend. Since Kinana has bad amnesia, she asks Mest to help her retrieve her memories, and, although everything is still quite hazy, she remembers her attachment to Erik. They slowly work through her memories, but Erik is very respectful and does not push Kinana into anything, he just wants to know her, and, maybe, if that could happen, his friend back. They end up slowly falling in love.

- Juvia is like a little sister to Gajeel. He is very protective of her, and she is the only reason he joined Fairy Tail. They stay close through the years, and Juvia ends up being the godmother of Gajeel's and Levy's children. Juvia is understably over the moon and spoils the heck out of her nephew and niece.

- The original appearance of most of the Celestial spirits is quite different than what it is nowadays. Leo/Loke's original appearance is closer to his Eclipse Celestial Spirits ark than his current one. He is a fighting spirit, after all.

- As there are 88 (accepted) constellations in the sky, there are 88 keys. The silver and gold ones are the most known, but there is another set: the platinum keys. Those keys are as powerful as the gold keys, but not much is known about them.

- Since opening a key gate demands so much magic power, celestial wizards have slowly decreased in numbers. Celestial magic is coming closer to becoming a lost magic every year. It does not help that Celestial wizards are so often used by dark guilds as sacrifices for dark intents.

- Many civilians think that, because there are "light" guilds and "dark" guilds, some magic powers are considered dark and light too. Which, in turn, makes them afraid of any kinds of magic that is not in the accepted definitions of "light". That's one of the reasons why Freed, Mirajane and Bickslow hated their born magic for so long. It took them years or even decades to stop the self-hate, with the help of their friends and family.

- Since the awakening of his etherious nature, Natsu has been terrified of losing control. Which made him train harder and subtly distance himself from the guild. Of course, the other slayers, Erza, Gray and Lisanna saw right through him and Lisanna confronted him about it and he spilled the beans.

- NaLi is a thing. They're very cute together. Natsu is not interested by sex (yep, he's asexual), but he loves the proximity with Lisanna so sometimes they do have sexy time, but not often at all.

- Mira is a big gossip, and she does the shipping thing, and she does try to imagine ship-kids, but when someone tells her they're uncomfortable/they don't want kids or she sees that she makes them so, she stops and apologizes and never does it again. Because Mirajane is a respectful friend that does not push her friends and family to follow patriarcal societal rules, thank you very much.

- Gray inherited his devil slayer magic genetically. So he was born with it. But it was dormant or sealed until Silver awakened it (it makes more sense that way, in my mind).

- Fairies did exist, but they are extinct in Earthland. They do still survive in another dimension with other elf-like beings (because I said so and because I like the idea of a Sidh in-universe, because travelling to parallel universes is a thing, so there!)

- Talking about that, there's a difference between parallel universes (Edolas) and dimensions (the place where Angel's "angels" dwell). A parallel universe is a different kind of world on the same "wavelength" as the one Fairy Tail exists, and a different dimension is in the same universe, BUT on a different level (you know, the 2D, 3D and so on, and so forth). But because I do not want to go full-on-nerd-mode-that-will-never-stop-talking-about-the-thing, I'll stop here.

- Minerva and Rogue are a couple and you cannot tell me otherwise.

- Talking about the saberkitties, that guild desperately needed to heal after Jiemma. It took them a lot of work to get to a level where everyone began to trust in their guildmates and the guild itself. Minerva is the one that had the hardest time, as she was the daughter of the abusive jerk and his favoured and longest victim.

- She also had the hardest time after Tartaros, because it took months for her to have a human body again. Sting, Rogue, Orga and Rufus were there every step of the way for her. She loves them with all her shriveled little dark heart.

- She stays a badass with some violent and cruel tendencies, but she's mostly awkward, nowadays. She feels most comfortable with Rufus and Rogue because they're calm and quiet. She also adore Frosch.

- It took Yukino months to decide that she might possibly want to rejoin a guild. She goes to Sabertooth to confront her bad treatment and the trauma from her excommunication and has the longest talk with Sting, although she sees that he's far from his cocky, rambunctious, confident self (because Tartaros + losing his dad + Minvera stuff going on). They have a heart to heart and Sting apologizes profusely about how he acted until the Eclipse gate thing. She accepts his apology, but still hesitates to rejoing the guild. Noone pushes her, but Sting asks her to at least stay around for a few days so that the other guild members can see her. She does, and gets apologies from everyone. However, she does not see Minerva, and since she was one of the biggest offenders when it came to bullying in the guild, she really wanted to confront her, but the situation is explained to her. Yukino rejoins the guild after a few weeks of hard thinking, and patiently waits for her very needed conversation with Minerva, although she does not push for it when she knows that things must definitely not be easy for the spatial mage.

- Orga is half Fioran and half Encan. That's why he weats the clothes he does, and has the tatoos. The facial paint he has during the GMG is because of a warrior tradition from Enca. He goes to visit his maternal family at least once a year. Although noone outside of his friend circle (which was noone during Jiemma's tenure) knows of that tidbit about his background.

- Freed, Rufus and Lucy are all from high society, but they never mingled or even talked. Freed's father was very strict and rarely allowed him to go to parties because he was never good enough, and then when his magic realized itself, he was too ashamed of the creature that was his son to even consider it. Rufus, on the other hand, was too young, but he saw Lucy from afar. He just never talked to her. Freed only knew of Lucy's name, but Lucy wasn't aware of him at all, because she would do anything to not do a good impression.

- Talking about Lucy, she is very sensitive to any kinds of comments about her physical appearance due to a childhood with the pressure of having to look like a perfect breedable doll, due to her father's expectations and just high society. Because she was seen more as an asset than a human being. And even though she rebelled about all the expectations, she internalized them still. She still struggles about it.

- Another thing she struggles with is: independance and freedom. Two things she never really had until she decided to flee her home. That's one of the reasons she kind of lets Natsu drag her on adventures too, because making decisions for her life and having the responsibility of her own destiny freaks her out and gives her major anxiety. She even had panick attacks about those.

- Lisanna had a very hard time getting used to Edolas, but also getting used to being back to Earthland. Her siblings and close friends (aka Natsu and Happy)? Even more so. Lots of angst and not believing it to be true and stuff. Also, she had quite a bit of difficulty reconnecting her Earthland friendships. She tended to see the guild as their Edolas versions for a while. But now everything's fine.

- The Raijinshuu bonded over their eye magic and their respect for Laxus, because he was the one to help them and make them join the guild.

- Laxus, under his not-approachable, cocky veneer, is just a very awkward sweetheart that has no idea how to interact with humans outside his three friends. He exudes big introvert energy and you cannot tell me otherwise.

- After the war, Laxus is lost. He does not know what to do without his grandpa. But the guild has to go on, so he tries to hide his grief and buries himself in work, because there is a lot to do. Of course his team sees it and with a lot of coaxing, he does properly mourn Makarov. He also goes to Porlyusica to talk about him and get help with his lungs (because there's scar tissue caused by the bane particles still there).

- For weeks on end, Erza and Laxus talk about who should be the next master, even though Laxus does not even want to take on the role anymore. And because no consensus is reached with just them, they decide to have a guild poll and let everyone choose their favoured candidates (could even be someone else, they do not care). In the end, poor Laxus still ends with the responsibility, and when he discovers all the paperwork his grandfather left, he nearly has a breakdown. Fortunately, Freed comes to the rescue, and when she hears about it, Lucy also helps. Lucy gets closer to the Raijinshuu and the new master that way and Freed, Laxus and her talk at length about their childhood, expectations and the verbal abuse they had to live through.

- When he discovers the amount of money that team Natsu makes the guild lose every single mission, and the destructiveness of most of the guild members, he decides to change that with the help of other guilds. The new Council, hearing this, jumps on the opportunity to try and get the guilds more involved because they do not want to keep on dealing with Fairy Tail nonesense. They have better things to do.

- Hisui gets more involved in the politics of the country and tries her best to make relations better with their neighbours Bosco and Seven. Since Bosco was hit the worst by the forces of Alvarez, she also organizes humanitarian missions that she sends to all the guilds in Fiore. Getting missions from the crown is a never seen before occurrence, but she thinks that it's a cause important enough to get involved. Her project pays, as relations with Bosco thrive after that.

- This also makes the population more curious about the other countries of Ishgar, as Fiore has always been mostly self-sufficent and autocratic.

- The Raijinshuu + Laxus (also, I hate that Laxus isn't officially part of the team and they're just his followers, come ooooon!) is actually the strongest team of the guild, but since they're not official, well... it's not official. Even without Laxus, the team is very efficient and rarely destructive. They have the advantage of all the members being quick thinkers and all of them are quite strategic, and if Freed tells them to do something, they do it without question. And even though Laxus is very powerful, he is also very analytic when he goes on missions, and even in fights. (Yes, I have a bone to pick with team Natsu when it comes with how they operate. Also, that particular way they work? Well, makes Lucy and Wendy not blend with them very well)

Ok, I think that's it for today. I might add to my list of headcanons, because I have MANY (too many to count).

Here's a little list of things I'd like to tackle at one point or another:

- where all the (time travelling) dragonslayers originated from and how they came into the care of their dragons

- Fairy Tail ships, sexualities and the why (aka, why I think nearly none of the characters are straight)

- Acnologia's backstory, but done in a way that does not make him one-dimensional, because the King of dragons deserves it, thank you very much

- Why I dislike the characterization of the cast, and what would have worked better from a narrative point of view (from my point of view as a reader, writer, someone who LOVES character development, but also maybe a bit someone who's actually studied literature in Uni)

- Maybe also ways for the magic system to actually have consequences? Because in the canon material, we've got nearly nothing for the main cast and I am annoyed.

- And probably some more worldbuilding, because you know I LOVE me some worldbuilding. I also think way too much about stuff, so yay?

[heyitsmoon]

Yumii Senshyn

Mah own character for my Monkie Kid fantasies hehehe

She was born 300 years before Wukong and even as a kid showed many signs to her developing power. Her family adopted her after a stranger left her in a box next to their door, at first her parents thought she was a demon after seeing her next to a shadow clone of hers (It appeared after she unlocked that part of her power).

Growing up her parents got scared for her and others well being seeing how fast Yumii’s powers grew, their terror wasn’t based on being scared that others will get hurt but that she’ll get herself killed so they searched for stuff that could get the ,,demon” inside her out. They went to many different churches and tried many different things to try and help her but after a couple months they lost hope. At the age of 18 she set out on a journey to find the cause of her powers, after 4 years of non-stop travel with pit stops in villages along the way and talking to the locals they learned that the only person who could help them was a celestial. So for the next 2 years they tried finding a way into the celestial realm and then succeeded by using a scroll that they borrowed (more like stole but eh) from an abandoned house that was presumably haunted. 

Yumii after spending 4 months on trying to read the instructions finally understood enough of it to make the portal to the celestial realm and go thru it.

After entering Yumii was immediately arrested by the guards and taken for interrogation on how they found out how to enter the celestial realm.

During the interrogation Yumii explained everything to the one interrogating them and after some talking between the celestials they let a little kid inside to see if they could show affection, Yumii of course passed having her own weakness being children, she played with the kid and told them stories before being interrupted and taken for a tour around the place. Yumii was then taken to the castles quest room while two celestials discussed manners outside her door. 

Pyroi’s mother: Do you think it’s wise to let her stay here?

Elder celestial: The test ringed truth, she is true to her intentions, though I am worried about her origins. 

Pyroi’s mother: What do you mean her origins?

Elder celestial: If I am not mistaken, the girl is a demon and was made by a great evil, tho she claims not to know who her biological parents are. 

Pyroi’s mother: You can’t mean her right? 

Elder celestial: I’m afraid so. It looks like the child is conflicted with how her powers came to be, so I suggest that you teach her how to control them or it will not only bring death to those who are dear to her but also to herself.

The elder celestial walked away leaving the woman alone with her thoughts.

Two years passed and Yumii learned how to control her powers and how to know her limits every day until it was time for her to go back to the human realm but before she did, she went to the celestial garden and took a peach of immortality not knowing it’s effects yet and ate it after leaving the celestial realm.

[After a century]

Yumii frustrated that she outlived her family, set her home far away from her old village to get away from all the memories of them being together, she set it on an empty mountain not far from Mk’s city to still have access to shops with ingredients not knowing that Pyroi Gento (another character I made up) already had the same idea. They started off with a rocky start (get it? Mountain, rocky? Okay I’ll shut up now) but as time grew Yumii developed a tolerance for Pyroi’s energetic personality. They settled down together and after years of making the mountain top look like home for them Yumii started realising that she’ll have to see Pyroi die one day but then they had a talk together and discovered that Pyroi is actually a immortal too so they can live together forever. Pyroi explained that they’re actually a celestal from the celestial realm that came to the human realm out of curiousity about the humans and their customs, Yumii was suprised by that information just thinking that they also ate an immortality peach by incident.

As years went on Yumii trained to hide her growing feelings for Pyroi having a late realisation that they’re a lesbian. 2 centuries passed and the two got closer training together from time to time and as a hobby teaching those who wanted to learn fighting, one of them being young Sun Wukong. Wukong was Yumii’s favourite student seeing how he had a power that was uncontrollable too, Yumii taught him how to control it and after 4 years of training she bid him farewell so he could see the world and figure out stuff about his powers on his own.

[When LBD got free]

Yumii in the middle of training with one of her students suddenly felt a surge of strong power distracting them from their training session, they dismissed their class and went to Pyroi to ask if they felt it too. Pyroi was at that time sitting on the ledge of the mountain admiring the view, they sat next to her and looked worried so Pyroi got closer to Yumii.

Pyroi: What’s on you’re mind Hazelnut?

Yumii: Hehehe, still doing the nickname thing Strawberry? 

Pyroi: I’ll never stop and you know that.

Yumii: Did you...

Pyroi: Hm? 

Yumii crossed their arms and looked at Pyroi.

Yumii: Did you feel like something bad happened?...Like some great power just got released?..

Pyroi: Oh Hazelnut you’re always so paranoid. Look if you felt something like that then we can be worried but can we just assume that it wasn’t anything massive? Can’t we just stay right here forever? 

Pyroi leaned on Yumii’s shoulder smiling and having their eyes closed.

Yumii slightly blushed but then looked away still worried about the feeling they got.

2 weeks later

Pyroi is away in the heavens visiting her family. 

Alone on the mountain Yumii continued training but got interrupted when the Mayor came. 

Yumii: I knew you’d come.

The Mayor: Lady Bone Demon wants to have a word with you.

Yumii: Ha like I’d go to her.

The Mayor: You’re only making this harder on yourself.

Yumii confident that she could get away started doing their shadow portal trick but the Mayor didn’t fall for it instead grabbed her when she thought she could throw a punch at him.

[At Spider Queens lair]

LBD: Ah my child you’re here.

Yumii: No...

Suddenly Yumii saw chains get put on her wrists and legs. There was no way of escape she thought and accepted it.

A few days later Pyroi came back to the mountain and saw a letter left in her room but upon reading it she fell to her knees knowing that her Hazelnut isn’t coming back.

[obeymeaskme]

Obey Me!: Human and Demon Hearts!

A/N: Remember to check my pinned post if you missed the other chapters! Another note; I had WAY too much fun writing the beginning of this! Hopefully it makes sense~

Chapter Three: Bonding's Mended (3/3)

Word Count: 1683

Rating: 18+

'Demon Feeding: A Start to the endless hunger of a demon's belly.

The cause of our behaviors dives deep into our past, when our kind and the celestial realm had known nothing but primal instincts. Humanity had not yet existed, and the earth realm was our battlegrounds. Flesh was torn by both Devil, Beast, and angel. Only our great Mages, now pacified by ash, can whisper to the book keepers of our carnal days. Yet while the Angelic build their realm, we still hunger, and wish to devour. Our hatred is barely ever quenched. Humans had been involved through their own ways. Growing and evolving long after our realms had taken refuge away from earth. But our history was rediscovered, and the three realms were connected.

Demon's had soon developed a taste for human souls. An almost sweet and pungent ecstasy only found in the spirit's layers. Yet the Angels seem to desire the human's souls for more pure and selfless purposes. So they say. We as a selfish kin must find ways around this. And we have. Humans are so very frail, but one cannot take from a living soul without their unwavering trust or agreement. But that's only for the whole meal. Ah yes- Just a small taste, barely a lick can satisfy. It was the Incubi, and the Succubi who have found the most pleasure in a Demon Feeding ritual. For many, a human's sensual pleasures are tied to their trust, and emotions. The Cubi have found their abilities to please have come in handy. They can easily sample the human soul, feeding of the human's energies, all while... entertaining themselves. The rest of us have begun to see the strings that connect Demons to humans as well. Even the Little Devils have their own ways. Most of us don't need a physical contract, or to eat away at their little dream worlds. No, just the sheer aura of a human's daily stress and anger are so divine, so tempting. No wonder the human world has grown fearful of us. They now know we can touch something they used to think they fully owned.'

A chill ran through Noelle's body. Not wanting to read more as she understood the narrator's point. The second sticky note was unlabeled, but since there were two options, this was probably the most plausible.

'Underdeveloped Magic and it's consequences.

Blood, bones and sacrifices were never needed to summon us to the human realm. Though the show and the fallen harvest are much appreciated. Though we now have an issue. Malaia has expressed a growing development in the human genes. Magic. It seems that now the human realm has entered into existence, they have developed their own magic. Most have realized what they're capable of, and are learning to manipulate it. They found ways to protect their realm from our hunger and manipulations. It's knowledge that is beginning to gnaw at my mind. Chewing it thoroughly. Yet it's not the well trained ones of magic that are the problem. It is the untrained ones we must look out for. Some of them have these hideous side effects they accidentally cause. Hell's fire wasn't enough to melt the flesh of a demon, but those flame's are so old. The new ones created by human magic are so fresh it can and will burn us to the bone, and perhaps past that if one is not careful. The other effects are as follows, but are just general nature.

Wart Tongue

Seared eyesight

confusion/forgetfulness

solidifying blood

barriers-'

The rest of the chapter went unread past Barriers. Noelle had gone through the index of the book and quickly read up on the different types of barriers until she came across one that explained her situation. It was a sort of magnetic barrier that if unchecked by a human with trained magic abilities, can cause harm to both demon and human.

The rest of the afternoon she spent her time locked in the library reading about magic, and trying to find a way to break her unintentional curse. According to her research the longer a demon is close to her, the more they will think unkindly of her, and will either tear her apart while their own body suffers the same, or manipulate her into handing over her soul. She also learned as to why this didn't seem to affect the brothers the same way. The types of demons are defined by their sins, with the Demon king and his associates being the exception. Thus different sins respond to her 'barrier' in different ways. Lust, and Greed are highly tuned to sense the danger of magic. Sloth, and Pride are most susceptible to giving into their instinct, and Wrath is unaffected due to their own constant rage with themselves. And Gluttony varied Demon to Demon. However, what concerned her was those who were spawned by Envy. Though it wasn't a reason that caused the disruption between Noelle and Levi, it was still concerning. In fact if Levi hadn't chosen to distance himself they'd both be very much dead.

Noelle had sighed heavily and texted Satan about the subject. And a quick reply came back. Satan seemed giddy and impressed with her progress on the matter. He then sent messages an hour later during his break about ways they can break the spell. But first she needed to test the strength of her barrier. He suggested that the only way they could do that was to snag Asmo, for when it came to surpassing a human's free will, he was a professional of sorts. Noelle swallowed hard at the suggestion, but once Satan had calmed her down over the phone, she agreed to meet him at Asmodeus' room.

The vibrant pinks and flowers decorating Asmodeus’ bedroom made her head spin. Yet it all looked inviting. There was even a cocoon chair that hung from the ceiling. Satan, Asmo and Mammon, for some ungodly reason, were already sitting on the fancy colorful rug. Asmo jumped up and ran to hug her out of habit with literally everyone else, but stopped short and gave a shudder along with a quick complaint.

“Owaahh~ You were right Satan, it's so hard being next to her! Which is really, REALLY inconvenient.”

Noelle blushed hard as Asmo withered in what she assumed was his growing lust over his forced restraint. That did not stop her from letting a remark slip from her lips.

“Oh hush- I thought you'd be into restraints.”

Asmo gasped while Satan and Mammon tried to cover up their laughter. After about 15 minutes passed, allowing Asmo and Mammon to get over their urges to run off, they sat Noelle right in front of Asmo on his bed. The barrier shielding Noelle had to be only so thick, and Asmo had the ability to get through shields and barriers with his lustrous charm. This was making Noelle exceedingly nervous that he'd take advantage of her in some way, but that's why Mammon and Satan were there. Mammon himself had actually been talked into taking Noelle's hand and ready to run out the door with her if anything went wrong, or if Asmo tried anything. Satan was there to make sure the other two didn't do anything too stupid.

Asmodeus was becoming giddy in getting to melt away at her guard, and possibly her heart as he says, and began reciting his usual spell while looking into her eyes.

“The eye's of a young, and beautiful mortal woman. They are so deep and golden. Even under those dark brown feathery irises...”

Mammon's snorting almost broke concentration of the two's moment, but was quickly corrected by a swift smack to the back of the head, as Asmo huffed and continued.

“Tell me Noelle~ Let me look into those pretty little eyes. Please, learn to place your trust in me. Tell me your desires.”

The soft whispers of Asmo's request had flooded her senses with a heated calm. No one else but Asmo could see the hidden and still seas of her mind as it became blank. All but a few trails of thought were left behind. He could sense her clarity, and saw her unrivaled trust in him. It was warm, and soft. Like a small candle by bedside. Asmo smiled softly, and brushed some hair behind her ear, and a soft sigh escaped her lips. Her eyes fluttered closed but she could still hear him, even then, deep in her mind as it went fully numb and the focus of her desires came to light.

“Tell me your desires”

The words vibrated behind her eyes and a single soft word came from her lips.

“Leviathan.”

“...”

“...”

“... uh-”

All too quickly Noelle had jumped in her skin as she regained her senses, and a deep violet red painted her face. When she did come back around and her vision stopped spinning from the sudden jolt, she saw the three brothers in hysterics, laughing on the floor and bed. Satan had put his hand on the wall beside him to balance himself, and covered his face. He was doing all he could to restrain his laughter. Mammon and Asmodeus had zero shame as they bellowed out, both of them grabbed at their guts, and caused Noelle's embarrassment to burn on her ears.

“Sh-SHUT UP! IT'S NOT FUNNY! WHAT DID I SAY!”

Satan was the first to calm down, clearing his throat more than once, trying to speak clearly.

“Did you not hear yourself? A-Asmo- What did you do! Tchh-”

Asmo shook his head, and had to cling onto Noelle to stay balanced on the bed.

“F-for a second I thought you said your deepest desire was- pffft Levi!”

Noelle silently stood up, covering her face and left the room while Satan yelled after her about knowing how to break the spell. But that was going to wait until she was able to recover from her current, flustered state.

[theinariakuma]

My Take on the Obey Me Boys

So. I was talking with @voltagesmutter She always gets my stuff that I possibly may post as well as just fragments of fics that may or may not come to be. After seeing the amazing bondage images here  I broke down my take on the guys after sending her a small Lucifer piece inspired by the image. 

She suggested I post my take on the guys because she liked how I broke them down. 

I have not finished up to Chapter 40. I am currently stuck at Chapter 22. So anything that may be proven/disproven in future chapters. 

So spoilers about Lilith and Belphegor (See Belphegor and Beelzebub’s) and Satan. 

These are all my personal opinions and takes on the characters and why they act the way they do and how they need to be handled. If you’d like to see them, please view under the cut. 

Lucifer: 

Lucifer is a caretaker. He is a fixer. He is the person you go to to get a more parental/authoritative help. This is part of why he holds his pride in such a high regard. People go to him because he is the person they can rely on. However, because of this, he sacrifices his own self care, both health wise and emotionally. It gets to the point he probably does not know how to let go and the moment he does give up that control, that emotional surrender will take so much of pent up feelings and break him down. It will be a time that the Avatar of Pride will realize that surrendering his pride to the one he trusts, the one he loves, is not as scary, not the humiliation he thought it would have been, so long as he was accepted and his letting go was treated with the respect it deserves. 

Mammon: 

Mammon has what I think could easily be classified as Middle child syndrome. The idea of “never being good enough” compared to his older brother and younger brothers. He acts out for the attention he gets, he is the personification of any attention is good attention, even if it leads to the emotional and verbal abuse of him being called “stupid,” “scum,” “idiot,” and so on. He is probably the second most sacrificing out of the seven. Unlike Lucifer, who gets recognized for what he does, Mammon does not receive this recognition, leaving him attention deprived in every sense of the word. Despite his words, Mammon shows MC nothing but patience and in his own way, care towards them despite the occasional comment. He, like Asmo, has never turned his anger on MC in the way his siblings has. He has never turned his Demon form on MC in aggression. This boy gets flustered because he doesn’t know how to take kind words, does not know how to take a gentle touch. If his own brothers don’t respect him, why would other demons? So when he is given pure, gentle affection in terms of touches, love, kind words, he has no defense other then to try and brush it off and put himself into an outside role. It is often “The Great Mammon” not “me”. It would take time for him to truly accept that the words, the love, the affection, and attention are meant for him. 

Leviathan:

Levi is someone I see as contact deprived. He, in my opinion, is the personification of, “If I don’t do it, it can’t hurt me” in a way. He finds acceptance in the 2D because they won’t turn him down. They won’t deny him love, attention, and kind words. For him, that is something that is priceless so he’ll spend as much money as he can to keep that happy feeling from it. Ruri is so important to him because she has been the one to accept him through his otaku nature. (Something I believe many fans of Obey me and other Otome Games can probably relate to). Looking over all of the boys, Belphegor, Satan, and Leviathan are the ones who do not have wings as Demons (See Satan’s post for spoilers). One could assume that they lost them when they changed from Angels to Demons. It is possible that he feels like he is no longer complete, and finding comfort in the 2D is what helps him go through his life, because it will love him no matter what, whereas real people can and possibly would reject him. So, it will take a massive amount of patience and persistence to convince this boy he is loved by someone that is real. It will take a lot of contact when he is okay with it, a lot of affirmation. He’ll degrade himself, he won’t believe someone could love him, likely because he doesn’t even love himself. Consistency will be something he needs and even when he gets frustrating, being angry at him can cause him to turn back in on himself. 

Satan:

Spoilers for Satan’s Creation. Skip if you do not want spoilers.

Satan is the only one of the boys that was not an Angel. Created from Lucifer’s Anger, his wrath, there will always be a looming sense of the fact that he is not his own person. Unintentionally, this likely makes him more angry, especially when he ends up being more and more like Lucifer. He lives off the notion that knowledge is power, and because of that he buries himself in his own personal library that is called his room. He reads everything and anything he can get his hands on, letting himself get lost in the tales, the lives of fictional beings. This is likely the place where he learned how to have contact with people outside of his brothers. His family, Lucifer and the others, are a fractured bunch, despite that they do love one another, however, it does not leave the idea of social skills. Satan is likely faced on a daily basis with his own inferiority complex, and his way to battle that is by locking away his emotions because he probably does not know how to truly handle things outside of anger, in which he could easily pick a fight with one of the others. He’ll understand the notions of love, happiness, pleasure, fear, and so on, but it could be assume because how closed off the rest of the brothers are to the rest of the world outside of Diavolo and the few they interact with, Satan has never experienced these things first hand. His own emotions will surprise him, so he needs to be treated with care, especially once he opens someone up to his world, the safe place among the books. He won’t take well to teasing when he does show it unless it is all in good manner, something that is finished off with tender words and soft soothing that it is okay. That his feelings are his own and they are okay.

Asmodeus: 

Asmo is someone who hides behind his looks. He knows he is beautiful and it is often shown just how much care he puts into his physical appearance through diets, skincare, clothes, and so on. However, despite this, it does not seem that Asmo makes any personal connections, only physical. He likely has never felt someone love him for him, love him for who he is under all of the care. He possibly is self conscious of being clingy emotionally. There is a running question if Asmo understands the difference between the idea of love and actual love. He needs someone who sees past the skin deep appearances, who could see him at his worst and call him beautiful, who wants him beyond the physical. He needs someone who will take care of his needs emotionally. Aggressive isn’t the word I would use about him, because he is not going to force anyone into anything, but he does push the idea of being physically intimate. He needs someone who can say no. Someone to show him what love is as much as they need to take care of his emotions. Rejection will likely baffle him because he knows how beautiful he is, how appealing he is, and if you’re attracted to him physically, he’ll notice. If you say no, despite all of this, if you explain you want to know him for him, it is likely he won’t understand how to take it. 

Beelzebub:

Spoilers for Lilith’s story and Beel’s story during the Celestial War.

Beel is a protector, he sacrifices on a physical level. He loved fully and completely and that is probably the scariest thing to him. Because he knows just how big and strong he is and he knows how openly he wears his heart once someone knows him. He’d die before he let someone hurt someone important to him. Beel threw himself in front of his twin, and he blames himself and believes Belphie to blame him for not taking the deadly shot for Lilith. Beel is someone who loves easily, which is why he’ll come off aggressive or even distant when someone meets him, as seen with MC. He knows he wants to protect people, but his duty is to his family first. His sin, his gluttony, also often upsets people. His brothers go out of their way to stop him from raiding the fridge, on one of his Devilgram he is even scolded for sleep eating. He makes comments to MC that he does not feel as hungry when they are around, which leads to the conclusion, his gluttony is fueled by his emotions. He feels an emptiness early on. Belphie is not around, his steady guilt about Lilith, so he tries to fill this void created by his own emotions by eating. Beel is someone that deserves all of the love and praise. He will always be gluttonous, that is who he is. Helping him find a way to manage it without belittling him is perfect way to help care and show love for him. Understand he loves his family, and he would never want to be forced to choose between them. Beel and his brothers, especially Belphie, come as a packaged deal.

Belphegor: 

Spoilers for Lilith’s story prior to the Celestial War and Belphie’s release from the room. ( I believe Chapter 16?)

Belphie was, in the Celestial realm, the baby among the brothers. He was able to get away with a lot of things, which was how he was able to sneak away so often that it had caused Lilith to grow curious. After Lilith’s death, that adoration and love for the human kind turned bitter in his chest. All of the good they had brought him had corrupted in the depth of his soul. His freedom was gone along with his sister, and that was a guilt that would weigh on his soul for several reasons. Beel had protected him rather than Lilith, and Belphie would likely blame himself because of all of this had been started because she followed his example and went to the Human Realm. After his actions towards MC, after killing them before Barbatos’ actions, the self-loathing will return in full force because he nearly killed off someone that had treated him with kindness, that knew his sins... that had been related to his reborn sister. He won’t know how to let go of his control, it would be all he has. It is why he will come off as aggressive or even aloof towards people at times. Belphie likely will have two ways to handle his emotions, full force release or resistance. If he trusts the person, they’ll see Belphie go into full cling. He’ll often cling to the person, trusting them fully because it is all he feels he could offer. Himself. It is also why if he does not have that trust with someone he will come off as aggressive and sharp. Belphie will always hold his regrets close to his chest, he needs someone to affirm that if he has been forgiven or not and if he hasn’t what he can do to earn that forgiveness. He needs to be treated with kid gloves in terms of being gentle in tone, but do not sugar coat it. He needs to be told if he is upset someone, if he has hurt them and he’ll likely need to know why, he is not the type to understand the weight of his words or actions until after it is done. He needs clear communication and open affection. 

[midnight1256]

The Child of Heaven and Hell

Prologue

The Beginning

Long ago when heaven and hell were not at war when everything was peaceful, when angels did their job to help humanity, and devils tried to tamper with their work. Yes everything was good in the world everyone did their job,

“ Some times,” a voice whispered.

“ AHEM!” a deep stern voice said.

A young teenager looked back at the adult rolling their eyes and sticking their tongue out at them, making the adult furrow their eyebrows at them in frustration.

“Fine, where was I,” the young teenager said, sighing at the adults frustration and not wanting to be punished again.

Yes everything was good in the world, everyone did their jobs properly, humanity was growing on earth, people were happy and healthy, the angelics were making sure that humans choose the right path for good and happiness and devils would try to make their lives worse by making the humans commit sins…

“ Why do I have to read it like this?” The teenager sighed in boredom.

“ Because this is how the prologue should be done if you want people to have an understanding of how everything started and how you came to be,” the adult said calmly while scribbling away at some documents not even bothering to look up at the bored teenager's face.

“ But it feels like I'm reading an old scripture with Osiris again,or how the start of every other god or celestial being story starts,” dropping their head to the table letting out a big dramatic sigh to show their boredom or the paper.

“ That is what you are doing you though writing your story of how you came to be who you are now, and I understand it's boring starting it like old scripture of how almost every gods stories start, but it is common and traditional to start it like this,” looking up at them showing empathy for how they feel.

“ I’m not like those oldie foldies though, I'm the new generation. I want to start it differently, please?” clasping their hands together hoping for the adults approval.

“ Fine do what you wish,” letting out another sigh and getting back to work as the teen let out a quiet ‘yes’ for their success reaching over to grab a new piece of paper to start over.

Prologue II

The Beginning

Okay so like a really long time ago before the 300 year war between Heaven and Hell everything you could say was normal for that time period. Heaven had its job helping humanity and whatever else they do and Hell just sorta interfered and messed with humans and taught them things the angels didn't want to teach them because it was a sin, like how demons taught humans about pleasure and exploring sexualities, now that was awesome.

Now the thing is not every angel, human, or devils did their job, some were lazy others might have been on vacation and yes angels and devils get vacations so it can be really hard to take care of humanity now and then.

And sometimes they were doing other people's jobs, because despite what humans think angels had a lot of work to do a LOT of work it's like running an entire corporation up here that never sleeps and you can find overworked or collapsed angels from exhaustion everywhere. But on the bright side they do get days off like sundays that's a good side at least.

“ What are you doing!” The angel stood up from their chair with their wings spread wide showing their anger, “ You shouldn’t be telling things like that in your story, especially if humans might read this.”

“ Oh put your wings down your not intimidating anyone you overgrown dove,” the teenager looked back at the annoyed angel crossing their arms, “ It's not like it will do any harm where in the 21th century either the humans believe it or they don't believe it, or they think it's a fictional book that someone wrote because they were bored and the other gods wouldn’t care ether.”

The angel sighed sitting back down at their desk somewhat agreeing with the irrational teenager after what humanity had to go through in the past year they don’t think humans or gods would be surprised if a story like this was was put into the archives, letting out another sigh the angel picked up their pen and went back to looking at documents letting the teen continue with their story.

“ So like I was saying,” the teen said enthusiastically.

Angels are overworked and so are devils but not as much, they also are not as happy doing the stuff they do I mean ya some of them like doing the things they do but not all of them do not every angel or devil is happy with what they do some are even depressed, not all devils take joy in messing or torturing humans and not every angel likes having a lot of paperwork on their desk or helping humans with their problems and being divine holy messengers hell angels and devils have their own version of suicide in both worlds.

So in conclusion both hell and heaven has its ups and downs and because of this is how a war started, beautiful uncle Lucifer saw god abuse his power against humanity so he declared war against him for his throne which is how the 300 year war started.

Now somewhere near the end of the war no one really knows how it happened but it did and no one can still explain it to me for the love of god but an angel got pregnant, with a devil's child, in heaven, during a 300 year war, where many angels fell from heaven.

But lucky enough this beautiful angel did not get ejected from heaven, even though she was pregnant with a demon devil?

“ What am I, am I half demon or half devil?” The teenager looked at the adult in curiosity still wondering what her other half was.

The adult looked up at the teen and all they could do was shrug their shoulders.

“ How many centuries have I been alive and we still don't know what my other half is, you know what never mind,” turning back around and continuing writing their paper.

So at the end the war Lucifer and many other angels had fallen and I was born, for some reason no one really questioned it when I was born everyone had their wonders and doubts but people for some reason turned a blind eye and never told the higher up, heck I didn’t even look like I had half blood in me I looked like a normal angelic child like all the other kids, so ya my mom got away with a half blood angel.

And it was like this for many years. I grew up in Heaven with my mom and other angels and angelic children everything was fine, until I started to reach the double digits.

As It started to approach my 10th birthday that's when my mom started to notice some changes in my form, a small nub started to appear on my head and my halo started to droop down to the side diagonally and one of my wings began to dull of it’s pearly white color, so she decided to do some research and the results were not that pleasing.

Up until now my mother had thought I might have been more angelic than demonic, but every- thing she had thought was wrong, that small nub on my head was a horn growing and my halo who knew what's happening to it.

So for a while my mother had me stay in my room so she could watch me and as the days went on the horn grew bigger and the halo kept drooping to the side, until one day half of my halo just broke off leaving the other half at a constant angle in my hair and the horn grew bigger until it grew into the shape of a rams horn and one of my wings had fully blacked as dark as the deepest night.

And by my tenth birthday I finally looked like the half breed I was and I finally learned what I was, that I was half angelic and half demonic, I was known as a Nephalem a threat to both angelic and demonic, what would happen to me, what would people do to me if they found out who I was, would I die.

But my mother would not let that happen so she told me,

“ Don’t worry my child, go lay down and take a nap to clear your head. You'll feel better when you wake up.” so I went to take a nap but what I didn’t know is what was happening while I was asleep.

She looked down at her child as they were wrapped in a blanket kissing her forehead gently while handing them over to the cloaked figure.

“ And she will be safe no harm will come to her,” the mother said in worry to the cloaked figure. She couldn’t believe she was doing this but she had to, to protect her child.

“ Yes she will be fine, we will put her in a human family and hide her true form and her memories,” a man said in a deep voice holding the child carefully in his arms.

“ I must get going now, thank you again, Lucifer,” the mother said making her way back to heaven.

As Lucifer turned around holding the child in his arms and walked into the foggy night disappearing into the night.

This my first time posting one of my writings so please be gentle if this blows up I might start writing more and other themes like BNHA and Twisted Wonderland and Obey me but I hope people will like it.

[elai-okonma]

Chapter 15. I’m Going Home Part 1

TW: uhhhhh, violence?

thank you so much for everyone who is still here! I love you all <3 

Word count: 1,574

Celestial Realm:

“Hello, Father. Long time no see..”

There was a moment of silence, and then:

“Lucifer.”

  After everything you’ve been through, the past few months you’ve been in the Celestial Realm, this was going to be the cherry on top. You couldn’t wait to see how this played out! I mean, Lucifer was like that sibling your parents were disappointed in, because he didn't live up to their expectations. 

  How long had it been since Lucifer and his Father had actually seen each other face to face? It was probably a length of time you couldn’t even begin to comprehend. This was going to be a conversation for the ages, and you had a front row seat.

  You decided to make yourself comfortable on one of the seats, still having an unbreakable grip on Gabriel. You’re surprised that God hasn’t gotten him some help yet, considering he was on the verge of death. (If supreme beings even could die.) You took this moment of inner thinking to come up with the pleasant idea that you were going to make Gabriel your bitch. You laugh out loud at the thought and Kyo and Elai come up by your side to find out what’s so funny. 

  As you’re starting to tell your friends your brilliant idea, you feel your mouth warm up and the air around you shift. You whip your head around and see that fucking prick of an Archangel...

Michael… You fly out of your seat so fast that you were in his face, with your hands around his neck, before anyone could react. Everyone except for Lucifer, that is.

“MC!!” His voice booms, stopping you from snapping the Archangels neck. 

  Your eyes stay fixed on Michael’s, even though you feel someone gently getting you off of him. It was Lucifer, you knew his touch apart from anyone else's. Well, him and his brothers. Demons had a totally different vibe from humans and Angels, after all. You look up at him and step away from Michael. 

God finally decides to open his mouth and say something:

“Lucifer why are you here? You know you were forbidden from ever returning to the Celestial Realm.”

“I came to ask you if there was another Celestial War happening, but I can see that I was mistaken.” the Demon looks over at you. You can’t hide your smile or the way your heart flutters when you see him look at you.   

  “Ah, yes, why don’t you tell Lucifer what that was about, MC?” God says with a tone you really didn’t care for. 

You suck your teeth at the request and reply with:

“Yeah MICHAEL, why don’t you tell Lucifer what that was about?” you say with a shit eating grin on your face. 

  Everyone looks to the Archangel expectantly, and Elai and Kyo have to cover their mouths to stifle their laughter. They were there when all the fighting broke out, so they knew it was going to be an interesting story.

  The Archangel looks to you then to Lucifer before starting:

“I made a pact with MC-”

You hear a growl come from the Demon beside you.

“-she accepted, and took in some of my power...”

  You can see Lucifer physically struggling to restrain himself from attacking Michael, he must know what pacts with Archangels entails. He speaks in a slow pace with a dropped voice, “so you’re telling me...that you are betrothed to MC...” his eyes twitch, “...and I know MC well enough that she would never make a pact with you if she knew what it really meant. So what I’m hearing is that you took advantage of her.” He rolls his shoulders and his Demon form appears. His feathers are trembling, a tell-tale sign that he was beyond pissed off. You take a step to the side and start laughing,

  “Fuck Michael, you really did it now.” you smile evilly at the Archangel. You also let your Angel form appear as you crack your knuckles. 

In a fraction of a second you and Lucifer are on Michael. You and the Demon beating the absolute dog shit out of the Archangel.

  In between you fucking up Michael, you wonder why his Father is just letting this happen. If He really wanted to, He could stop everyone in this room with the snap of His fingers. But instead, He let you mutilate Gabriel, and then just did nothing when you made him your bitch. He also didn’t stop you when you Michael walked in. And now, you were naked, wings and halo out, still covered in blood, and whooping Michaels stupid ass with Lucifer. It was too great. You couldn’t hide your laughter, all of this is just so much fun! 

  First punch to Michael’s face “...ah-ha, ahahaHAHAHAHA!!” Second punch. Third punch. Fourth punch. You just couldn't stop, unleashing punches at a brutal pace, even Lucifer had a hard time keeping up with you. It was then that you realized that even Kyo and Elai decided to jump in. Now, that slowed you down enough to take a moment and look over at your besties. Talk about some ride or dies! Did they just not care anymore? Did they know what they were risking? 

  As this marvelous 4v1 was unfolding, Gabriel regained consciousness. You immediately sensed it and snapped your head up to look at him. When you both locked eyes with each other, he looked away and put his head back down so fast it was hilarious. That’s a good little bitch, you think to yourself. As you return your attention back to the iconic gang jumping you were serving the Archangel, you felt your body start to be pulled away by a strange force. 

  As you were being dragged away by the unknown force, you were desperately trying to claw your way back to Michael, you weren’t done with him yet. Not even close.

  With your wings flailing behind you sporadically, mixed with the ear piercing screeching of your nails on the marble floor, you finally reach the source of the power pulling you back. You feel a hand on your throat and a body against your back, as you’re lifted off the ground. You can’t see anyone, but you can feel them as if they were really there. You hear God's voice right in your ear now. In a low, hushed tone he says, “tell them to stop, or you’ll regret it.”

You go eerily still, as you call out to Lucifer and your friends, “Guys! Stop!’

They immediately halt their assaults on Michael, and look over to you. 

“What is it, MC?”

  You point to your neck and explain that their Father has a hold of you, but that you can’t see Him. Your halo is flashing fast now. You were wondering when He would intervene. He speaks up so everyone can hear;

“Ever since MC got here, it seems that not one of you knows how to act, anymore. Have you all forgotten your places? This is the Celestial Realm!” He’s starting to shout now as he continues, “This is not the Devildom, but if you want to act like Demons I can surely send you down there!”

This causes you to giggle as you speak up, “That’s all I’ve been trying to do since I got here!” 

“And so you shall get what you ask.” He has finally had enough. His tone shifted, and it made you start to tremble. “MC, when you came here, you were in my good graces. I understood your love for my sons, and was even so nice as to offer you a spot by my side.” 

“You knew who I was when I got here, it’s not my fault that your other sons are liars and trick people into making pacts with them.” You try to struggle out of his grip, but it only tightens. “Just let me go, so I can go home with Lucifer, and to my other Demons.” You’re getting fidgety, now. You don’t like God's hands on you. Something about it feels wrong. 

  In an instant, you feel a hand on your right wing as your eyes blow out wide. “N-no. NO!” you shriek, as He proceeds to rip your wing off. You throw your head back with a blood curdling scream. Lucifer is at your side in a flash of light, trying to get your out of his Father’s grip. Your blood drips onto the floor, and there’s drool coming out of your mouth as you start to black out.

 “IT WAS ME WHO GAVE YOU THESE GIFTS AND NOW, I TAKETH AWAY!”

You barely hear the words as you drift in and out, but you definitely don’t miss the sound of Michael’s snicker from across the way. The hand on your throat is heating up now, making it painfully uncomfortable to breathe. 

“I SEND YOU BACK TO THE FLAMES YOU SO DESPERATELY WANTED TO BE IN!”

Lucifer couldn’t bear the sight of you. You were already badly beaten up when he was reunited with you, and hearing that scream come from you was enough. Lucifer had finally lost himself.

You felt a crackling, static energy and then intense heat, like you had just stuck your face in an oven. You manage to open an eye just in time to see something you thought you’d never see in your mortal nor your immortal life... 

Lucifer’s true form.   

[nanoland]

Ponder on the Narrow House

fandom: Lucifer

main characters: Mazikeen, Eve, Michael

pairings: Mazikeen/Eve/Michael 

summary: In which Mazikeen isn't finished with Michael yet. 

warnings: Violence, gun violence, trauma, dehumanization, outdoor sex. 

0 

In 2019, Fodor’s had crowned LAX the worst airport on Planet Earth, comparing it – much to Mazikeen’s amusement – to Dante Alighieri’s Hell.

She couldn’t comment on the comparison’s accuracy; she’d never read Divina Comedia. Human poetry bored her.

Up against the real thing, however? Hell was quieter, cleaner, and smelt better than Los Angeles International, and it wasn’t even close.

Granted, Mazikeen was biased. Hell was her home and she liked it quite a lot. But surely even a human – even an angel – would sooner take a stint in one of Lucifer’s loops than spend more than thirty minutes in Terminal 3.

Yet there he was, leaning against the wall, watching the bustling crowd with a faint smile on his face, like a man in the park resting his eyes on the ducks. Perfectly content.

“Do you know,” he said as she approached him, “that around forty percent of all humans are scared of flying?” 

She hadn’t been sure how this encounter would go and, being innately practical, had dressed accordingly. Black satin skirt, flattering and loose enough to both conceal several demon daggers (invisible to the full-body scanner she’d just sauntered through) and not impede her reaction time in a fight. Red silk wrap blouse, easily unwrapped to serve as a garrotte or tourniquet. Hair down, curled, dyed pitch black with bronze-gold streaks – possibly a tactical disadvantage if he grabbed it, but possibly a distraction. She knew he liked her hair.

When she was satisfied he wasn’t about to lunge for her throat, she took a gamble and moved in to lean against the wall alongside him, following his gaze. “Not surprising. Think of it from their perspective. They don’t have wings. Actually – huh. I guess that’s a perspective you can sympathise with now.”

He sneered. “You’re trying to bait me, Miss Mazikeen. That’s cute. But I’m not in the mood, dollface. This? This is me time. I’ve had a shitty few days and I came here specifically to soak up these idiot mortals’ fear and chill out. Get lost. Go play with my twin if you’re so starved for entertainment.”

Mazikeen stretched. “That’s the problem. He’s hanging out with the rest of your lousy family. Gabriel. Raziel. Jophiel. Now that he’s in charge, they’re all trying to crawl up his ass. It’s pathetic. And annoying.”

His jaw clenched and she knew exactly what he was thinking: ‘That should have been me.’

“Also,” she added, after a pause, “they don’t like me. Most of them have never met a demon. There’s no outright hostility but… they talk to me like I’m some gross exotic pet Lucifer found and adopted.”

“They’re afraid of you.”

“Bullshit.”

“Nope. I’m wrong about some things. Never about fear. They can tell how much you matter to him, how much he’d do for you and vis versa, and it scares them shitless. Chloe Decker they can understand – she was Dad’s gift, after all. You, though? Lucy was never supposed to love you. No one was.”

She fiddled with her earring; big, gold, shaped like a swallow with rubies dotting its tail feathers. A gift from Eve. “Whatever. Anyway, that’s why I’m here. With you. Instead of them. You’re the worst, most obnoxious, most cowardly creep ever. I mean it. Christ, do you suck. But you always talked to me like I was a person. Right from the beginning.”

Ugliness flared behind his eyes. “Seriously? Now you’re being nice? Lucifer sent his general to console me? Ha! That’s how pitiful he thinks I am?”

“Pfft – no. Lucifer doesn’t give a crap about you. I’m here because I wanna offer you a job, moron.”

“A… job.”

“Yep. Ever heard of ‘bounty-hunting’?”

He nodded. Slowly. Smirking, she pushed off the wall and twirled on her six-inch heels to face him.

“Here’s the thing, o Angel of Dread; I’ve spent centuries in Hell learning how to terrify people. I look at you and you know what I see? Potential. Sure, you’re rough around the edges. Still got some celestial baby fat clinging to you. Still a little squeamish when it comes to certain tricks of the trade. But Mikey, honey, six months under my tutelage and I think we can turn you into a bona fide fucking nightmare.”

She let the skin on her face’s left side melt away and grinned at him. “So? How about it?”

“Eh,” he said after taking one last glance around the terminal. “Fuck it. Why not? Nothing better to do.” 

0 

“Los Angeles is kinda like me,” Mazikeen told him, taking off her red-lensed cat-eye sunglasses as she strutted down the pier.

“Doesn’t have a soul?”

A withering glare. “Tough. Pretty on the outside, mean on the inside. It’s easy to make enemies around here and when you’ve made ‘em, you need to stay on your toes. Stay nimble. Stay mobile. Ready to fight or flee at any moment.”

Michael nodded. “And that’s how you justify living on a tugboat.”

“Ahoy!” called Eve, standing on the deck in a polka dot bikini and pirate hat Mazikeen had presumably stolen for her off the set of some summer blockbuster or other being shot nearby, the salty breeze playing with her hair.

“It’s a yacht,” Mazikeen growled.

“No. That’s a yacht,” Michael replied, pointing to the gleaming white MCY 70 Skylounge docked nearby. “What you have is a glorified raft that can, at best, accommodate two people and maybe a toaster.”

He should, perhaps, be trying harder to ingratiate himself with his new boss.

But he was tired.

Getting in his face, she snapped, “Hey! That’s our headquarters, asshole. Show some respect.”

“It’s covered in seagull crap. It looks older than me. There’s a very obvious bloodstain on the helm. Jesus, doesn’t Lucifer pay you?”

She pushed him into the sea.

Offering him a hand when he bobbed to the surface, Eve said, “Don’t take it personally. She’s just mad because we weren’t able to steal a bigger one.”

0 

It was while Michael was towelling himself dry down below decks that the chunky-faced cop wandered in, took one look at him, and strode across the room.

“Mister Espinoza,” he drawled, “what can I-… oh. Oh, wow, you really thought that was going to work, huh?”

Curled up on the floor, clutching the fist he’d very mistakenly slammed into Michael’s jaw, Dan hissed, “Fuck you. You killed me.”

“Poppycock. I had you killed. That’s entirely different, buddy.”

Dan staggered to his feet and shouted, “Maze! Eve! What the hell is he doing here?”

Taking off his wet jacket and draping it over the rack alongside the towel, Michael said, “I was invited, thank you very much. No one told me you were part of the arrangement.”

“What arrangement, asshole?” Dan snapped, turning red. “I’m just here to help Maze fix her boat’s engine.”

“Oh. You don’t work with her, then? No, I suppose you wouldn’t. As we’ve established, you’re entirely too killable.”

“You sleazy son-of-a… Maze! Get down here!”

Grumbling, Michael’s new boss stalked below deck carrying a crate of beer on her left shoulder and a sleeping bag under her right arm. “Goddammit – Dan, I told you to wait. Is your hand bleeding, you big meathead? We seriously just dragged your ass out of Hell and you couldn’t go two whole days before breaking yourself again? Ugh. You’re impossible. You’re worse than Decker.”

“Maze, d’you wanna explain what the actual fuck Lucifer’s psycho twin is doing here?”

“Interning,” Michael said, cheerfully.

His face now practically purple, Dan half-yelled, “What is he talking about? This is not okay, Maze! Does Chloe know? Does Amenadiel? Why is he even still on Earth? Lucifer’s God now; can’t he stick him on Mars or turn him into a bug or something?”

“Look, Dan, just calm down-…” she began.

“I died! I actually, literally, physically died! Because of him! No, I’m not going to calm down!”

Michael scoffed. “Please. Like that’s what you’re really upset about. You’re not angry about dying. You’re not angry at all. You’re scared, buttercup. And not just of me; of her, of Lucifer, of everything, and to be honest, I didn’t even need to use the ol’ angel juice to work that out.”

Mazikeen set down her cargo, pulled a knife from her belt, and flung it. It embedded itself five inches deep in the floor between them. “This? This is not Lux, dickheads. Mortals and celestials don’t hang out here to have a good time while I sit behind the bar and tolerate them. This crummy, crusty-ass, piece of crap boat is my domain. Here, I don’t have to put up with one femtometre of your bullshit. If you want to fight, do it somewhere else. If you want to fuck, do it quick and clean up afterwards. If you want to make yourselves useful, help me get the weapons on board.”

“Wait – wait, weapons? What weapons?” said Dan to her retreating back. “You said you were going fishing. Maze! What weapons?” 

0 

“Where’s all your stuff?” Eve asked when she showed him to his tiny cabin.

“I’m an archangel. I don’t have ‘stuff’.”

(Michael had already decided he didn’t like her. She was bubbly.)

“Heh. You should travel with Lucy sometime. We went to Vancouver for a weekend and he brought seven bags, five watches, and six pairs of shoes. Okay, do you – uh, do you at least have a change of clothes? Because those look kinda soggy.”

To his annoyance – and embarrassment – she spend twenty minutes hunting down a shirt and pants that would fit him.

“They’re mine,” she said, dropping them into his lap. “But I bought them to sleep in and I like loose pyjamas, so they’re a dozen sizes too big on me. Oh! Also found you this.”

She presented a hot water bottle in the shape of a fat, cuddly sheep.

He accepted it carefully, wondering if it was booby-trapped. “You’re Lucifer’s ex, right?”

“Er… yep? Amongst other things. The Original Sinner. First Woman, First Wife, First Mother. Mother of Mankind. Second Human. First Knowledgeable Human. But sure, I was also your brother’s girlfriend for a while.”

“And now you’re Mazikeen’s. Do you also work with her?”

“Sure do!” she said, interpreting the question as an invitation to sit down next to him. “I’m The Choronzon’s captain. That’s our boat’s name. My idea. I know she’s not much to look at but she’s got so much history. There’ve been fourteen homicides on her! Plus, she’s fast; way, way faster than she looks. And I know the beds are hard, but we’ve got three hammocks stashed away and getting them set up is easy as pie.”

“Wow. Those suckers up in the Silver City don’t know what they’re missing.”

She nodded, blinking slowly. “Hmm. Maze was right. You are mean. That’s cool. I get on well with mean people. Anyway, just in case she hasn’t told you; we’ve got a job lined up and we’ll be setting sail tomorrow at dawn. You get seasick? Not a problem; we’ve got a medical kit full of antiemetics. On that note, should we pick up something for you before we leave shore?”

“No.”

“You sure? Just that – uh – I mean, my third son, Seth, the one nobody talks about – he also had pretty severe scoliosis. Wasn’t a whole lot we could do about it back then. But these days they’ve got tons of stuff; opiods and anti-inflammatories and memory foam. Science is so, so cool. And I’m going shopping for sunscreen anyway, so dropping by the pharmacy wouldn’t be a problem.”

For a moment, he reviewed a list of responses that would deeply, profoundly hurt her, responses that would ensure she didn’t approach him again.

But he was tired, tired, tired.

“Here.”

He took a folded piece of A4 paper from his pocket and handed it to her. “These are what the last human doctor I went to recommended. Getting hold of those three I’ve circled is tricky, but I know a guy. Call him on that number down there and he’ll meet you wherever. If he gives you any trouble, remind him that Michael knows about the vacuum cleaner. That’ll shut him up.”

As soon as she’d bounced out of the room, he shut the door, locked it, and laid down to sleep. 

0

It was night when he awoke.  

He went upstairs to find Mazikeen and Eve sitting on the deck, admiring what stars could be seen through Los Angeles’ perpetual light pollution and sharing a pizza.

“Mickey! Get over here,” called Mazikeen, clad in a black dressing down and slippers shaped like plump pink pigs.

“It’s freezing,” he complained.

She snickered and threw him the prickly blanket that had been resting over her knees. “Wimp. Eve told you about the job, yeah?”

“Yes.”

“Do you know how to use any weapons?” Eve asked. “Maze sticks with her knives most of the time. I prefer my traps and crossbow. But we’ve got guns, if that’s more your speed.”

They were clearly expecting him to sit down. Eve had even scooted to the left to make room.

He opened the blanket up and wrapped it around his shoulders, remaining standing. “Can I ask a question? What, precisely, is my role here?”

“For now, you’re a meat shield,” said Mazikeen, talking through a mouthful of pepperoni and violently yellow cheese. “Me and Eve are both vulnerable to bullets. I mean – I’m less vulnerable, obviously. But I don’t hate any of my relatives enough to go about finding out exactly how many bullets it takes to snuff a demon. So your job, at least tomorrow, is just to soak up enemy fire until we’ve got our hands on the target.”

Scowling, he said, “Getting shot does hurt, you know.”

“Yeah,” she replied, eyes shining with spite. “Dan sure seemed to think so.”

When the tense silence had stretched for over thirty seconds, Eve clapped her hands, smiling anxiously, and said, “So! Anyone up for rummy?” 

0 

Along the California coastline, the cruise ship Illustrious Voyager bore four thousand three hundred and ten passengers, one thousand two hundred and ninety-six crewmembers, and two guide dogs.

Five thousand six hundred and eight souls, in total.

At around 4pm, without anyone noticing, that number became five thousand six hundred and nine.

Hands clasped behind her back, Eve strolled down the promenade, admiring the vessel’s size and beauty. This fresh new millennium’s wealth astonished her. Sickened, sometimes. Entranced, sometimes. But always astonished.

Back in the garden, they’d slept on and under rocks. When it rained, they got wet. When large animals came by, they hid. No weapons. No shelter. No blankets. The only resource they’d had in abundance was food. Good grief – so much food. God had been so proud of all the different fruits and nuts and mushrooms he’d made available to them, and Adam had been so grateful. Eve supposed she had been, too.

It hadn’t stopped her from one day approaching her husband and the plump rabbits resting in his lap – two of several dozen pets – and asking if he didn’t think the cold nights would be much more endurable if they each had a warm pair of fur slippers.

Then she’d met Lucifer. Fallen in love. Bitten the apple. Learned how powerful he and his Father truly were. That was when the real questions, the sticky, prickly questions, had come bubbling up.

If Lucifer has such a vast family, with so many siblings, why can’t I have even one? she’d asked the sky. Why is Adam all I get?

And later: If You can simply bring people into existence, why must I scream and bleed and shit myself in order to have children? Am I doing it wrong? Is there another way? If there isn’t, why not?

And later: Why is nothing fair?

And, most recently, after meeting Mazikeen: Why isn’t everything at least equally unfair? Why do humans get a world of options while Maze and her family are expected to serve angels from birth to death? Why isn’t Maze allowed into Heaven, even after an eternity of loyalty and hard work?

“Sorry,” she said, flashing white teeth at a passing crewmember. “I’m trying to find a friend of mine. Can you tell me how to get to Room 835?”

Half an hour later, there was a splash and the ship’s population dropped to five thousand six hundred and seven.

Before binding his arms and legs, Eve had secured Andrew Bismarck’s lifejacket and gagged him. Furious and helpless, he bobbed alongside her as the ship moved on and Mazikeen rowed up in her inflatable raft, wearing a sunset-orange swimsuit.

“Should I be worried about those, babe?” she asked as she gripped Bismarck’s lifejacket and hauled him out of the water.

Eve smiled at the dolphin pod swimming in playful loops around her, and patted the nearest one’s nose. “No. They’re my friends.”

The inflatable wasn’t big enough for three people, so Eve held on to a friend’s dorsal fin and let him drag her back to The Choronzon.

Michael stood on the deck, looking bored. As they climbed aboard, their prisoner slung over Mazikeen’s shoulder, he drawled, “Seriously? This sad specimen’s worth two million dollars?”

“Actually, his net worth is eight hundred million,” said Mazikeen, dumping him down. “Two million is just what his ex-wife is willing and able to pay.”

Wringing out her hair, Eve added, “She took half his money in the divorce but she gave almost all of it to a chimpanzee shelter. I really like her!”

His lip curled. “How delightfully sordid. Isn’t this all a little beneath you, Ms Mazikeen? I mean, you’re a big deal in Hell. High Commander of Lucifer’s legions, head advisor to the king himself. Aren’t you worried taking jobs like this diminishes you?”

Busy handcuffing Bismarck to the railing, Mazikeen said, “Eve, honey? Do me a favour?”

“Boop!” Eve chirped, having already snuck up behind Michael, and pushed him overboard.

“I know it’s your whole gimmick,” Mazikeen called down as he splashed and spluttered, his face red with princely indignation. “And I know you don’t have a lot else going for you. But the next time you try that on me, I will stop being nice. Kapish?”

“Kapish,” he muttered.

The Choronzon had barely travelled a mile before Eve spotted Bismarck’s henchmen coming after them.

“Someone gimme details!” shouted Mazikeen, busy putting a bulletproof vest on over her bikini and opening up the box she’d told Dan contained a fishing rod, not a halberd.

Eve peered through her binoculars. “Two speedboats. Twelve guys on jet skis. Guns everywhere.”

“Heh. Awesome. Mickey – move that tight ass to the front and make like a nice juicy target.”

“Wait, what about-…” Michael began, trailing off as Mazikeen dove gracefully into the sea.

Bouncing from foot to foot, Eve shot him a grin. “Don’t look so glum, sourpuss. This is the fun part.”

She’d never spoken to Michael in Heaven, despite the millennia they’d both resided only two miles apart, her in a lakeside cottage on the outskirts of the Silver City, him in the crystal palace in its centre.

Granted, she’d not exactly had a warm and fuzzy relationship with any of Lucifer’s siblings. They all knew what had happened in the garden. Some had been nice – Amenadiel had visited often, even though he’d never had much to say and they’d spent their time together skipping stones across the lake’s surface. But the others had kept her at a distance. She was a bad influence.

Michael, however, was the only angel she’d not ever said one word to.

She’d seen him, now and then, in the early days, when she was the only human in Heaven and, as such, grudgingly invited to divine family get-togethers. On those occasions, she’d spent too much time feeling awkward and out-of-place to pay attention to the sullen figure lurking in whatever shadows were available. The one time she’d glanced his way, it had been to marvel at the stories of people getting the twins mixed up; beyond the raw basics of bone structure, Michael couldn’t have looked less like her old lover.

Bullets sprayed across the hull. Humming, Eve stepped daintily into Michael’s shadow, seconds before they started bouncing off his shoulders and chest.

“It is beneath her,” he muttered.

She made an ambiguous noise. “How d’you figure?”

There came a shout and a splash from the nearest jet ski. The bullets stopped.

“C’mon. She’s Mazikeen. Everyone in the Silver City knows about Mazikeen. Ordinarily, we couldn’t give two dry shits about Lucifer’s minions, but her? She’s a minor celebrity. The power behind Hell’s throne. Christ, it’s no secret my beloved twin couldn’t govern his way out of a paper bag.”

“Yeah,” she said, smiling fondly. “He’s kind of bad at everything. Except music. He’s a great musician.”

More shouting. More shooting. More bullets bouncing off Michael’s torso. Mazikeen rode by, one hand gripping her newly-acquired jet ski’s throttle lever, the other clutching her bloodstained halberd. Watching her circle the enemy, Eve was reminded of a sheep dog.

Michael went on: “And then there’s the fact that for a while, everyone thought Lucifer was going to marry her. It was all anyone could talk about. Jophiel was taking bets on when the proposal would happen. She’d have been High Commander and the Queen of Hell. Instead? All of a sudden, Lucifer takes an indefinite vacay to the mortal realm, drags her with him, and next thing anyone knows, she’s working behind a bar.”

The remaining jet skis and their terrified, wounded riders had been neatly rounded up, which meant it was time for Eve to open her purse.

“Um – how long have those been in there?” asked Michael, watching her take out three grenades.

“You want one?” she offered. “Don’t forget to take the pin out before you throw it. I did that my first time.”  

One thing to be said for millions of dull, dull years spent sitting next to God’s Greatest Warrior, skipping stones across a lake; your aim got good.

The first blast was a warning, not close enough to actually kill any of Bismarck’s men, though the resultant waves did knock several into the water. They tried to retreat, turning their vehicles around, only to remember Mazikeen, corralling them single-handed and now armed with machine guns she’d confiscated from those already bested.

When they saw the second and third grenade incoming, they gave up and abandoned the jet skis, jumping into the sea and swimming for their lives.

“Fuck!” Michael yelped, blocking his ears at the concomitant explosions.

Gazing past the debris and smoke, Eve saw Mazikeen head for the nearest of the two speedboats. Its occupants, preoccupied with aiming a rocket launcher at The Choronzon, saw her coming far too late.

“I get your point,” said Eve, as her girlfriend and her halberd made short work of the crew. “But that’s a really… how can I put this? It’s a really angelic way of looking at things. Maze doesn’t consider anything ‘beneath her’.”

“Wow. Sick burn. You’re basically admitting she has no pride.”

“Oh, she’s got pride. Tons of pride. Her pride’s just dependant on how well she does a job, not on the type of job she has. She wasn’t happy working at Lux, but that wasn’t because she thought bartending was ‘beneath her’; it was because she prefers doing things she’s good at. Customer service isn’t really one of her strengths.”

The second speedboat was abandoned by its crew mere seconds before Mazikeen rammed the first speedboat into it, cackling victoriously.

“Actually,” Eve said, moving from Michael’s shadow to where Mazikeen had earlier set a crate of peach soda – her favourite – out on the deck, “now that you mention it, I guess I’m the one with no pride. Haven’t really ever had anything to be proud of. Your Dad never gave me the chance. I was never meant to do things. I was just meant to be.”

Michael snorted. “Lucky you. Trust me; he may have softened in his later years, but back in the day he never, ever stopped riding our asses. You think Lucy really rebelled because he had better plans for how the universe should be run? Because he was an innovator? Nope. Lazy dick just hated being told to do his chores.”

By the time Mazikeen swam back to them, saltwater had washed off the blood and her ponytail had come loose.

“Oh, hey,” said Eve, gripping her hand and pulling her up. “A mermaid.”

After pressing a rough kiss to her cheek and taking a swig of peach soda, Mazikeen asked, “You okay? He did his job?”

Eve patted the angel’s shoulder – the one that wouldn’t hurt. “He was terrific! Awesome addition to the team.”

“I didn’t do anything,” Michael mumbled.

Ignoring him, Mazikeen snatched up a towel to dry her hair. “Glad to hear it. Alright! Let’s get Bismarck back to shore, get paid, and find a place to have dinner so we can toast Team Hellrazor’s first successful mission.”

“R-A-Z-O-R,” Eve informed Michael. “To make it cooler.” 

0 

Bombshell curls. The only way to celebrate victory.

“Should I even ask why your hair smells like burning plastic?” asked Britney, a sixty-four year old veteran stylist with spectacles and a bright blue bob. She’d worked in Hollywood since she was seventeen and her skilled hands, according to rumour, had tended to Viola Davis herself.

Mazikeen flipped through a magazine with the hand that wasn’t getting its nails painted red-gold by two assistants down on their knees, as intensely focused as if they were touching up The Last Supper. “Blew up some jet skis. Don’t worry about it.”

Picking up the curling iron, Britney said, “That handsome guy you and Eve came in with… new boyfriend?”

“Ha! No. Not in a million years. He’s my intern.”

Eve had only wanted a trim and, as soon as it was done, had dragged Michael away to shop for books and shoes. She was trying, without much subtlety, to work out what he liked; what he did for fun; if he was even capable of having fun. Waste of time, in Mazikeen’s opinion, especially considering that before the end of the week he’d probably run away to some dark hole where he could get back to wallowing in his bitterness. But maybe not. Eve clearly had hope and Mazikeen trusted her judgement.

As the assistants moved on to her other hand, her phone buzzed.

Glancing up to meet Britney’s gaze in the mirror, Mazikeen said, “Get that for me? My nails are wet and it’s probably Eve. Word’s got out what happens to all other humans who call me on a Saturday.”

The older woman’s blue eyebrows bounced as she picked up the phone. “Might be that tasty boss of yours!”

“Nope,” she muttered, old unhappiness flaring hot in her heart. “He only ever calls when he wants me to do something and right now, there’s nothing he can’t do himself.”

Britney held the phone up in front of her face.

There was a message from Linda.

Charlie’s missing his Auntie Maze – see u for dinner Tuesday? J <3

“Uh – are you crying?” asked Britney.

“No!” she snapped. “Just… shut up. Reply for me. Say yes. And add a knife emoji. I always use knife emojis.”

Just then, a white woman with long brown hair and skinny jeans strode purposefully into the salon.

Britney tutted and held up a hand. “Ma’am? I’m sorry, but Ms Smith has booked the entire…”

She trailed off as the woman’s eyes flashed red.

“Chantinelle,” Mazikeen greeted, spinning the chair round and crossing her legs regally. “It’s okay, Britney. She’s a friend. Well – an ally.”

Gravel-voiced, like she smoked heavily, the other demon drawled, “I’m touched, your great and gracious Majesty.”

Mazikeen snickered. “Bitch, get over here.”

With a smirk, Chantinelle marched over and planted a fierce kiss on her cheek.

“What news from Hell?” Mazikeen asked her sister.

Chantinelle briefed her while Britney and the others finished up her curls and manicure. They spoke in Lilim, Chantinelle parking her denim-clad butt on the vanity next to an arsenal of combs and keeping one eye on the door. She’d already tried twice to convince Mazikeen that a queen needed a bodyguard, to no avail.

When their meeting was concluded, Britney said, “So you’re from Holland, right? Oh! It’s a lovely country. My cousin lives there and she’s always telling me to visit.”

(Britney knew they weren’t from Holland. Britney knew they weren’t from Earth. Britney was one of those people who coped with uncomfortable realities like demons in her workplace by ignoring them.)

“Will you be coming home soon?” Chantinelle asked before she left.

Studying her reflection – avoiding her sister’s gaze – Mazikeen said, “Mmm. Yeah. Soon. Just got a few things to finish up here.”

“Well, don’t keep us waiting too long. The family misses you. I mean – it’s been years, y’know?”

“I know. I do.”

“I didn’t know you had a family,” Britney commented after Chantinelle had gone. “How come you never talk about them?”

Mazikeen handed over a wad of blood-spattered cash. “Eh. After a while, I figured out that nobody likes it when I do.”

She began making her way across the mall to Eve’s favourite shoe shop, then stopped when she approached the arcade and heard her girlfriend’s laugh over the beeps and buzzes of various games.

Unsurprised, she wandered in and found her on the Dance Dance Revolution platform, barefoot and skirt twirling as she beat the shit out of someone’s high score, surrounded by a crowd of cheering, applauding onlookers.

Michael stood off to the side, clutching three bulging shopping bags and looking mortified.

“I couldn’t stop her,” he hissed to Mazikeen. “What the hell? What the actual hell? I thought you were trying to maintain a reputation on this crummy rock! What’re your enemies going to think if this is how your allies behave in public?”

“I figure they’ll think something like, ‘Oh my God, she’s tapping that? I am going to literally die of jealousy’,” Mazikeen said, kicking off her stilettos and handing them to him. “Go fetch us some bottled water, wimp. We’ll be here for a while.”

Eve’s competitor on the adjacent platform yelped as Mazikeen shoved him off and took his place.

“Hi, pretty lady,” said Eve, her eyes sparkling. “You know I’ve been dancing for millions of years, right?”

Mazikeen grinned at her and tossed back her bombshell curls. “Bring it, beautiful.”  

Out the corner of her eye, she saw Michael blush bright red. 

0 

What was he doing here?

“We are fifteen miles over the speed limit!”

Mazikeen cackled and drove faster. In the seat beside her, Eve punched the air and turned up the radio until Michael thought Rihanna’s voice would burst even his divine eardrums. (Contrary to his brother’s accusations, he did, in fact, enjoy some types of music. Just not when it was loud or fast-paced.)

“May I remind you of a crucial fact?” he demanded, having to shout to be heard. “It’s not me who’ll die if this thing flips! Angel, remember? You two are the ones who’ll be splattered all over the road! Hello? Is anybody listening to me?”

“I’m a fine-tuned supersonic speed machine,” Mazikeen sang.

The desert outside the cherry-red convertible they’d stolen in Las Vegas was a sickening blur and he hated it. Not that he’d never travelled this fast – though he was slower than just about all his siblings in the air, he could still outpace a jet. But flying under his own power couldn’t be compared to being trapped in this hideous human death trap under the command of a demon and a madwoman.

“I’ll be fine,” he said, this time to himself, gripping his seatbelt with both hands like it was the neck of an angry serpent. “Whatever happens. Even if we crash. They’ll die. I’ll be fine.”

“Hey!” called Eve, turning to look at him, squinting. “Are you really not having fun? Maze! Slow down! He’s not having fun.”

Mazikeen groaned but brought them back to a less terrifying percentage of light speed, while Eve undid her seatbelt and climbed into the back with Michael.

He sputtered. “Jesus H. Christ – you’re not supposed to do that while the vehicle is moving. Rules exist for a reason, goddammit.”

“I’m sorry we freaked you out,” Eve told him, with… confusing sincerity.

None of his siblings had ever apologised for frightening him, Lucifer least of all (“Aww – don’t be so nervous, brother!” and a golden laugh from the brave, adventurous Morningstar after he’d enticed Michael to fly with him into a hurricane for fun and the noise and sight of it had made his twin cry).

When Michael was young, he’d assumed that was because apologies were for lesser beings, like mortals – except that when he’d discovered his latent talent for underhanded pranks, his siblings had all turned around and demanded apologies from him. The pranks had become progressively mean-spirited after that.

Waiting for the other shoe to drop – for the punchline – he said, carefully, “It’s fine.”

The wind had blown Eve’s hair all over the place. As she brushed it out of her eyes, he was reminded that today she’d chosen to wear one of her thin white summer dresses, this one low-cut enough to make it clear that that was all she was wearing.

Now mischievous, she winked at him. “But you know… if I made a habit of following those rules you like so much, I’d still be married and bored out of my mind. Wanna kiss?”

He nearly jumped out of the car.

“Uh,” he croaked.

His gaze flickered past Eve’s inquisitive face to the back of Mazikeen’s head. How long did he have? How many milliseconds left before she turned around and tore out his throat in a fit of frenzied jealousy?

“Hell, yeah!” Mazikeen cheered, throwing up the horns. “One of you take a picture for me. Or, better yet, move over so I can see you in the rear view mirror.”

Eve’s chin tilted downwards as she examined Michael. “I dunno. Doesn’t seem like he’s into it. Er – yikes. Actually, I think he’s gonna throw up. Might wanna pull over, babe.”

“I’m not going to throw up! I just need… just need air. Could you sit back for a moment?” he hissed.

She did so and he got his breathing under control. Crap, his shoulder hurt so much today.

“Sorry,” she mumbled, fidgeting. “I didn’t mean to-…”

“Is this because of him?” Michael snarled, suddenly furious.

“What?”

“Him! Lucifer! He dumped you, yeah? And now you’re – what, trying to get back at him by hitting on me? Or is it just because I look like him so I’m the best substitute you can get, or-…”

She slapped him.

It hurt.

(It really did. What? Since when did getting hit by mortals hurt?)

Mazikeen whistled approvingly.

“No,” said Eve, half-growling. “I’m not like that. I don’t use people like that, Michael.”

He touched the part of his face where her skin had met his. It felt hot. Tingly. He swallowed. “Um – right. Got it.”

“Do you?”

“Yes.”

The anger in her eyes subsided. “Good. Now, would you like to kiss me or not? It’s fine if you don’t want to. You’ll still be part of the team. This is just for fun.”

Feeling oafish and off-kilter, he gestured at Mazikeen. “Won’t she mind?”

“Nope!” Mazikeen volunteered without hesitation.

Eve, exasperated, huffed, “I already asked her if she’d mind. Do you really think I’d put the offer on the table if I hadn’t? Whatever they say about me in the Silver City, I’m neither frivolous nor disloyal. I didn’t go behind Adam’s back when I fell in love with your brother; I told him to his face what I was doing.”

“Oh. Didn’t know that.”

“Because he didn’t tell anyone. He didn’t care. Adam was a decent man who didn’t love me at all. But Maze does, and I love her, and we’ve decided this is something we’re both okay with.”

“Yeah, most demons are poly,” Mazikeen told him. “As long as everyone’s on board and on the same page, you can hook up with whoever you like.”

“Last chance: kiss or no kiss?” said Eve.

She was close enough now for him to smell her perfume. His chest felt tight. “I don’t like ultimatums.”

“Okay. How about wagers? I bet you anything I’m the best kisser you’ve ever met. Or requests? Please, please kiss me, Michael. Or-…”

She was so warm. Her breath flowing into his mouth felt like drinking hot chocolate on a Winter’s night, sugary heat poured down his throat and filling up his whole chest.

His bones seemed to melt. He slid down the seat, half-pushed, until he lay almost flat with her on top of him, cradling his face in her hands, her thumbs making slow, comforting circles on his jaw.

“Ghnnff-fu-fuck,” he slurred.

That he was hard, and had been hard ever since he’d noticed how low-cut her dress was, seemed almost irrelevant in the face of far more interesting observations, like the soft grunts she made or the way her breasts felt pressed tight against him, until she slid a thigh between his legs.

He cried out. Arched.

“There you go,” she purred against his neck.

Elegant and effortless, she took off her shoes and her panties, and slid down onto his cock with a soft, fluttering sigh. Grabbed his hand and raised it to cover one of her nipples.

Just before he came, he opened his eyes and gazed up, and the sun had moved behind her, draining all but her edges of definition, and the wind had picked up her hair again and sent it billowing up and out, like dark wings. Like his wings.

“Michael! Ah!”

The car stopped.

“Huh,” said Mazikeen. “There’s something you don’t see every day.”

She pointed. Panting, they both followed her finger.

Across the sky, from one horizon to the next, the clouds had arranged themselves into the words

I LOVE YOU DETECTIVE !!!!

-LM

“Oh, crud,” said Eve. 

0 

Fuck the next bounty.

After thinking about it for ten seconds, Mazikeen turned them around and started driving straight for Los Angeles.

Eve can talk to him. Not me. He needs to talk to someone, and Eve will do.

Barely half a mile later, Amenadiel dropped out of the sky and landed in the middle of the road, just far enough away for her to bring the car to a screeching halt before it would otherwise have slammed into him like wet clay into a steel wall.

“We’ve got a problem,” he said, looking exhausted.

She snorted and pointed skyward. “Yeah. This? Not gonna lie, I was expecting something like this. But I thought it would take, like, at least a month.”

Wincing, Amenadiel said, “No, that’s… that’s a different problem and Chloe’s promised to discuss it with him. Maze, we need you back at Lux. Now.”

“Hi, Amenadiel!” Eve called, waving.

He succeeded in smiling at her without even glancing at Michael, despite his younger brother sitting right at her side, glaring fixedly.

“Why?” demanded Mazikeen, tensely drumming her fingers on the wheel. (Inner voice hissing, Shouldn’t have left him alone, you dumb bitch, you’ve been doing this for centuries and you know what he’s like when you leave him alone for more than five minutes.) “Seriously – what could he possibly need me for? He’s God.”

Sighing, Amenadiel put his wings away. “Mazikeen, we’re all well aware that Lucy often… has difficulty focusing. To put it mildly. There’s a lot more for him to focus on now than ever before. He’s trying to undo climate change. To that end, he started refreezing all the melted ice in the Arctic. But he did it too quickly and, resultantly, there are several hundred trapped ships we need to save and several thousand dead penguins to resurrect and, to be honest, he hasn’t really got the hang of resurrection yet – you remember what Dan looked like for the first few hours after Lucifer brought him back to life…”

“Eurgh. Yeah. Yuck. Totes not the kinda shit you’d wanna see in Happy Feet.”

Michael was snickering.

“Right. And then there are all the changes he’s been making locally,” Amenadiel went on. “The expansion of Lux, the overnight disappearance of all Los Angeles’ firearms, his deciding that the city’s white supremacist population should grow a third ear so they can be easily identified, and, well, it turns out that a lot of Chloe’s colleagues at the police station-…”

“I get it, I get it. Chaos everywhere. As usual. What, exactly, is the problem he wants me to fix?”

Amenadiel exhaled heavily. “The demons. The ones you brought from Hell to help us defeat Michael.”

“Oh, so you do remember I exist,” Michael muttered.

Stonily ignoring him, Amenadiel said, “They’re still on Earth and they’re causing trouble. The one called Dromos, in particular. He’s gathered followers and they’ve surrounded Lux.”

Her brother’s face – his real face, not the human puppet he wore – flashed through her mind’s eye; a memory from when they were unruly children and had raced through Hell together, using the stone pillars that they’d not yet known were cells as an obstacle course. She’d been faster; he, more athletic. Together with a few cousins, they’d made a fearsome team, and not even their meanest older siblings had bullied them.

She folded her arms and looked away. “They’re demons. Lucifer can deal with them. Snap his fingers and turn them into rats or whatever. Make them explode.”

“Mazikeen,” Eve murmured, soft and low, touching her shoulder. “You don’t want that. They’re your family.”

Amenadiel blinked, as though that hadn’t occurred to him. “Er… yes, there’s that. There’s also the fact that Lucifer doesn’t want all of humanity to see him as the type of God who casually annihilates his enemies; a harsh, vindictive God. He wants to be liked. To be loved.”

“Fine. So why don’t you and the other angels sort it out?”

“Come now, Maze. A bunch of angels and a bunch of demons waging war in the midst of a bustling city? Humans will die. But you’re the Queen of Hell now and, by extension, the Queen of Demons. If you command Dromos to stand down, he will. This can all be resolved peacefully.”

Eve’s fingertips were cool against her skin.

Mazikeen looked back at the sky. The cloud letters were starting to dissolve. “What does he want?”

“Who?”

“Dromos. He doesn’t act on instinct. He’s a planner. He wants something.”

Shrugging, Amenadiel said, “He shouted at me about demanding an audience with the king. I didn’t ask for details. I don’t really care. Dromos isn’t someone I’m inclined to listen to at the best of times. The last time the wretch showed his face on Earth, he kidnapped my son.”

“Mmm. Kinda like your sister was gonna do. Kinda like you were gonna do, now that I think about it.”

“Maze!” he gasped, sounding shocked and hurt. “You can’t compared poor Remiel’s misguided actions to-…”

“I’ll do it,” she interrupted. “Take me to Lux. Now.”

“Excuse me? What about us?” snapped Michael.

Mazikeen met Eve’s gentle gaze. “You don’t need to be involved in this. My family drama, it – it’s not pretty.”

“My son killed my son,” said Eve, taking her hand. “My husband loved another woman. I’m used to drama.”

Swallowing, Mazikeen glanced at Michael. “And you, wimp?”

Feigning disinterest – feigning it badly – he said, “You showed up to my last domestic dispute. Guess this’ll make us square.”

“I’ve only got two arms. I can’t carry all of you,” Amenadiel pointed out.

Mazikeen rubbed her chin. “No… but you can carry the car, right?” 

0 

He didn’t have time for this. There was so much to do.

“World hunger,” he recited as he bounced from one laptop to the next, all twenty-three of them displaying a different article or video by a leading scientific or sociological mind, “wealth inequality, pollution, cancer, droughts, racism, elderly abuse, housing shortages, cruelty to animals…”

“Lucifer,” said Linda patiently, sitting on his best couch with her legs crossed, a cup of coffee and a laptop of her own beside her. “You said you wanted my advice as to how you should manage this whole ‘being God’ business.”

“I do, doctor! Very much. Your input is invaluable. Blast, where did I put that map of Alaska? I’m thinking of making it bigger; slotting it in alongside the Arctic to help stabilise all that new ice.”

“Right. Thanks. So here – here is what I’m suggesting now; slow down. Seriously. Take a breath, step back, and think your next move through.”

He scoffed. “‘Slow down’? Doctor, I need to work at least three times faster if I’m to keep up with everything. There are people suffering everywhere, millions of them! There are sinners in need of punishment! I’m seriously considering asking Chloe to be my Deputy God. I never imagined omnipotence would entail so much paperwork and she’s always been better at that than me.”

Outside the penthouse, many stories below, the chanting grew louder. None of the human police officers, journalists, and gawkers who’d gathered to watch could understand it; it was in Lilim.

Cursing, Lucifer strode to the balcony and shouted down, “For the last time, would you all kindly piss off? I’m trying to fix an entire planet here!”

He heard the elevator open and moaned. “Detective, not now. Please. I’m very sorry I haven’t returned your calls – I swear I’m not avoiding you – it’s just that I’ve got a lot on my plate today and we did already agree to meet for supper at-…”

“Lucifer,” said Linda, sounding terrified.

“Lucifer,” said someone else, sounding irritable.

Now that he was God, rage didn’t turn his eyes red anymore. It turned them gold and blindingly bright, like spotlights. Fists clenched, he turned to see Dromos step into the penthouse, once again clad in the flesh of the late Father Kinley and wearing a leather jacket.

“Nice trick, making all the doors disappear. Finally decided to climb up the side of the building with a sledgehammer and burrow my way through into the elevator shaft,” said the demon, hands in his pockets and concrete dust coating his beard and his bald head. “I want to talk to you, sire.”

Storming across the room while Linda remained frozen, white-faced, on the couch, Lucifer snarled, “You! You have the nerve to come here, to stand before me, after what you did to my nephew?”

He took Dromos by the neck and lifted him off the ground, his wings opening in fury (he had six of them now).

Stoical even as he choked, Dromos said, “I need. To talk. I will leave immediately afterwards.”

“Oh, you’ll leave, alright! You’ll be lucky if I don’t throw you into an active volcano, you accursed traitor!”

Dromos’ stolen skin began to sizzle beneath his fingers. He waited until the demon’s face was wrinkled with pain before throwing him to the floor hard enough to crack the wood and make a crater.

“I will leave,” Dromos gasped, coughing up blood, “when I have spoken.”

“What could you possibly have to say for yourself? Kidnapper. Child-thief.”

Still on the couch, Linda said tremulously, “Lucifer, you’re… you’re hurting him. Stop it. Please.”

“Let us stay!” shouted Dromos, and coughed again before dragging himself up onto his knees. “On Earth. That’s what I came to say. Let your erstwhile subjects stay on Earth if they choose – at least, those who served you in the battle against Michael. Don’t force them to return to Hell. Let them, let us choose where we live, going forward. That’s my request, your Majesty. My only request.”

Lucifer boggled at him. “Is that a joke? Demons? On Earth, indefinitely, unsupervised? Are you out of your tiny mind, Dromos?”

Baring teeth, Dromos said, “Why not? What does it matter to you now? You’ve got everything you could possibly want. Everything anyone could possibly want! All we’re asking is the freedom to come and go as we please.”

“No.”

He spoke the word bluntly, and then he stepped back, adjusting his cuffs. Regaining his composure. “Never. You’re dangerous and untrustworthy. This world is for humans, not you. Good grief, haven’t I got enough to preoccupy my mind, without the added stress of demons rampaging around town?”

“We won’t rampage. We just-…”

“Why are you even coming to me with this? Mazikeen’s the new Queen of Hell. Didn’t you get the memo?”

Dromos wiped blood from his lips. “I don’t know if my sister and I are on speaking terms right now. And she may be Queen, but you’re God; I assumed you would be tasked with such decisions. After all, there’s never been a demon in charge of Hell before. We were told – we were always told – that only angels could rule us. I don’t doubt Mazikeen’s competence, but I…”

He seemed to run out of steam, spreading his hands and finishing weakly, “Lucifer, you’re the king. You’ve been the king for millions of years. For my entire life. Look, if you really don’t want us leaving Hell, then can you at least use your newfound power to improve it? Let us have the things mortals enjoy? Pianos, dogs, blankets, weekends, all that stuff?”

Lucifer rolled his eyes. “That would rather defeat the purpose, wouldn’t it? Hell is supposed to be a place of punishment. The ultimate consequence awaiting sinners. I need a carrot and a stick, Dromos. How else am I supposed to convince people to behave if I don’t? Imagine a rapist arriving in Hell and being confronted with demons playing pianos and walking their dogs. Wouldn’t have quite the desired effect, would it?”

Dromos was quiet for a moment, then said without inflection, “Perhaps you could find somewhere else to put rapists. Somewhere other than our home.”

Throwing up his arms, Lucifer said, “More demands! Don’t you see how selfish you’re being? Here I am, doing my best to end all suffering, and you’re complaining about babysitting a few evil-doers – which, might I remind you, is your job. Nay, your very reason for existence. Always has been. Why’re you getting stroppy about it now?”

“I think,” Linda began, taking a tentative step forward before stopping and clearing her throat. “Excuse me. May I interrupt? Um. Okay, so I think that maybe Dromos has a point here, Lucifer.”

“Doctor! This is the creature that stole your baby!”

“Yes, I know. And I’m not saying I forgive him for that, but…”

“I wasn’t going to eat the brat,” Dromos grumbled. “I was going to make him a king.”

“You took him away from his mother!” Lucifer shouted.

“Gentlemen!” said Linda, sharply. “Please! Let’s try to talk this through like adults.”

Overcome with frustration, and only vaguely aware that he’d not been sleeping well lately, Lucifer kicked the nearest chair. “I can’t believe you’re siding with him, doctor.”

“I’m not siding with anyone. I-…”

“You don’t know these people like I do. You didn’t spend millions of years in Hell alongside them. The only demon you’ve ever gotten acquainted with is Maze, and she’s not like the others; even without a soul, she’s learned how to behave like a more-or-less civilised adult, barring the occasional tantrum. But your average, baseline demon has nothing to them besides wrath and cruelty. Lilith made them to be weapons and that’s all they really are. I mean – just imagine, for a moment, how hard it was for me. To go from the Silver City, the most beautiful place ever created, to a lightless nightmare realm full of these bloodthirsty animals. To be surrounded by them, for endless eons, while they nattered mindlessly on and on about how much they love torture and pain and…”  

He trailed off. Linda and Dromos were both looking past him.

To the elevator. Where – oh – Mazikeen was standing.

Where Mazikeen was crying.

No sobs, not like when Dan had died. No expression at all, really. Just open eyes, motionless muscles, and steady tears.

Before Lucifer could say a word, she pressed the button to close the elevator doors.

“Wait!” he yelped, sprinting over to stop them.

He needn’t have bothered. Now that he was God, objects did whatever he told them to do. The doors stilled, half-open.

“That sounded wrong,” he acknowledged, clasping her shoulders in apology. “You completely missed the context. What I was trying to say was-…”

“Don’t touch me.”

It was a phrase he’d heard many times before from mortal lovers to whom he had accidentally revealed his Devil Face. Some of them said it in horror. Some of them, the religious ones, said it in anger.

Mazikeen looked neither horrified nor angry. She looked sick. As though the very sight of him turned her stomach.

Lumbering over, Dromos stepped into the elevator alongside her and pointedly pressed the button again. With no idea what to do or say, Lucifer allowed the machinery to work.

The elevator closed.

“What have I done?” he asked Linda. 

0  

Nothing I didn’t know.

“Maze?” called Eve, waiting by the car with the others as Mazikeen stepped out of Lux’s front door and into the sunlight.

The door hadn’t been there when they’d arrived. She’d been forced to use Dromos’ route. Lucifer must have decided to put it back. He could do that now. Just decide things. Didn’t need servants, nor followers, nor anyone. Sure didn’t need a ‘more-or-less civilised adult’ whose kin were animals.

“Maze! Wait!”

Mazikeen didn’t know where she was going, only that she was walking very quickly and felt that she’d die if she stopped. She heard Eve’s heels patter on the pavement and heard her say her name a third time, quiet and worried, and that was what stilled her feet.

“What happened?” murmured Eve, cupping her face.

The fifty or so demons who’d been standing around outside Lux when Amenadiel had set the car and its passengers down were still there. Instead of chanting to get their king’s attention, they were now looking at her.

Michael and Amenadiel stood among them, the latter having been trying to convince them to stop blocking traffic.

Which was what she should have been doing. It was what he’d brought her here to do. But she’d been gripped by a sudden, violent need to see Lucifer, to check on him, just quickly, before tending to her siblings. Once a bodyguard, always a bodyguard.

Except that wasn’t what I was. Not to him. To him, I was a Rottweiler on a leash.

“Are you alright?” asked Amenadiel, his eyes overflowing with concern.

That was what cracked her.

To him. Not to everyone. Not to Eve, or Amenadiel, or Linda. It’s not that I’m incapable of earning love and respect.

I’m just incapable of earning his.

Her legs gave out. She crumpled against Lux’s outside wall and started to weep properly, loud and bitter.

Eve immediately dropped down beside her, holding her tight. Michael shuffled closer, rubbing his shoulder while his mouth opened and shut, testing out sentences that were never spoken.

Then Dromos was there, kneeling, his face sad and tired.

“We did what we were told,” she said to him in Lilim, through sniffles. “We obeyed. We were loyal. We… we…”

“We are alone, sister,” he replied. “But I think we always were.”

“We obeyed!”

“We obeyed Lilith and she left. We obeyed Lucifer and he left. No one wants us, Mazikeen. It’s just the truth.”

She took a shuddering breath and squeezed her eyes shut. “No. I want us.”

Seizing his jacket’s shoulder, she hauled herself to her feet and addressed the crowd, her voice raw: “I want you! You’re my family and I want you! And I swear I will be the queen you deserve, for as long as you’ll have me!”

Her human skin fell away, the left side of her face turning cold, bony, and brittle.

Stepping back to join their siblings, Dromos asked hesitantly, “What would you have us do, then, my queen? What are your orders?”

Hurriedly drying her eyes, she studied them one by one. “Whoever wants to can stay here. But I’m going home. Hell is going to be ours, Dromos. No more damned souls. No more angels. It’s ours now and we’re going to make it into something we can love.”

She turned to face Eve and Michael, her heart pounding. “You’ll come with me, yeah? You’ll stand with me?”

“Always,” said Eve, closing in to kiss her.

“Whatever,” Michael muttered, clearly just relieved that the crying part was over.

Amenadiel sighed, shaking his head gravely. “Mazikeen, are you sure this is what you want? You won’t be able to leave Hell on your own – you’ll need to contact me.”

“Yeah. At least until this one grows his feathers back,” she said, gesturing at Michael. “That’s okay. You’ll always come when I call, right?”

“Of course. You’re my friend, Maze. I’m sorry if I haven’t said that often enough.”

Fuck it. Cringing on the inside, Mazikeen drew Amenadiel into a quick, gruff hug. “You too, idiot.”

TO BE CONTINUED

[lexsssu]

Shall We Date: Worship Me AU - Uriel (Avatar of Chastity)

What if the MC gets transported to the Celestial Realm instead? What if the angels were the love interests?

GENERAL HCs

Uriel — “The Flame of God/God is my Light”

Has a penchant for perfection

Give him a task and you bet your ass he’ll come back finished with results so phenomenal you’re sure that if you did it, there’s no way it would turn out this great

Reserved, but not exactly anti-social

It’s not that he doesn’t want to talk about himself whenever people ask about him, but it’s just that he thinks there are a million other things that are worth more to converse about than his exploits or the things he enjoyed

Chastity doesn’t just mean staying pure by abstaining from sexual relations and the lack of temptations one experiences, but being placed in the face of temptation and yet staying true to one’s morals. This is why Uriel doesn’t condemn anyone who decides to engage in such acts, whether within the sanctity of marriage or not, whether it is done because all parties hold sincere feelings for one another or not.

Gone is the ancient time and the rules that once applied then cannot be the same for current times. This is why Uriel has made it his mission to continuously study about humans, to stay up to date with the way they thought and felt so as he can better serve as a guiding beacon to them

When he’s not busy with his regular duties, you would normally find Uriel at the Celestial realm’s library with stacks of reference books on his table. Time is nothing to them, which is why for him it felt as if humans changed too quickly in so little time

An ideology that may have taken decades or centuries to form is but a blink of an eye to them which is why Mr. Perfectionist can’t help but immediately want to be informed in the hopes that it will help him improve himself

If he doesn’t keep adding and updating to his knowledge then how can he even hope to be one of the guiding virtues of humanity with outdated ideals?

Ideals can and will change over time, but his morals are the one thing that Uriel will never change.

His mind and body may be corrupted over time, because eternity is such a long time indeed, but the morals that made him who he is, what HE is will always stay the same

Tbh you can’t tempt this guy with anything

If you do manage to “tempt” him, know that you didn’t actually succeed but he just liked/pitied you enough to go with whatever fuckery you wanted him to commit

That's why he normally agrees with whatever bullshit his twin brother, Gabriel, tries to wrangle him into

Uriel ain't doing it because Gabriel tempted him, but because he loved his twin so much that he's willing to indulge him whenever he wanted to fuck shit up

Gabriel is the one who starts messes and Uriel is the one who just lets him be, because he's a supportive big brother

...Much to most of the other virtues' ever increasing stress

Is an advocate of "actions speak louder than words"

He's a serial head-patter

Will boop your nose when he notices you're a bit too lost in your thoughts

Azrael is normally the victim of his headpats and nose-boops

Since he makes it his job to know all that IS known, he finds some modicum of interest in that of the UNknown

Things like extraterrestrial beings for example. Basically, anything that didn't belong to any of the 3 worlds was within his scope of interest

If you check his YouTube history you'll see it's filled with UFO sightings, conspiracy theories, UMAs, etc.

Probably joined that raid in Area 51 while undercover—

Asks Gabriel to bring him souvenirs and pictures whenever his job takes him to a location near hotspots for UMAs, UFOs, and other strange otherworldly phenomena

Reminds Azrael every now and then to inform him if he ever ferries a soul that had come across any UMA and ask them about their encounter

As the virtue of chastity, it's up to him to teach the little cherubims about the birds and the bees as part of their training to become full-fledged angels

More often than not, his terminology and clinical way of explaining has traumatized most of the little ones…

...much to Raphael's increasing stress

"And then the man will place his pe*** inside the woman's va**** where he would start thrusting continu—"

What's worse is that he even has diagrams for it

So many little cherubims lost their innocence to Uriel-sensei…

He doesn't purposely try to annoy Raphael unlike Gabriel, it's just that his actions and way of going about things aren't the way most people would fo it and what's worse is that he unintentionally traumatizes people

And it's usually up to Raphael to do damage control on all the virtues' behalf

Raphael almost killed him that day he had to give that talk to Luke and his batch

"...What's wrong about telling them what happens between a man and a woman? It's biology and something that's done frequently by humans"

He doesn't see the point of beating around the bush when their purpose was to teach the new recruits about humanity and everything about them, including how they reproduce

Favorite food is pancakes…

...because they look like flying saucers

Uriel enjoys stargazing at night, not just to look at the heavenly bodies but to spot any UFOs if he's lucky enough

He isn't particularly bad at cooking, but he's not great either

Pancakes are what he's most confident in cooking and he makes the best darn ones in all of the celestial realm

If he's the only one left at home and you're sick, don't expect chicken soup and be ready instead for a stack of warm and fluffy pancakes topped with some butter and generous helping of syrup, whipped cream, berries, and etc.

When the day finally comes that he falls in love with someone...the 3 worlds will know true fear—

But legit though, all those millennia of being a single pringle and practicing so much restraint flies out the window when this man finds himself utterly and deeply in love with you

JP VA: Daisuke Ono

ENG VA: Matthew Mercer

ROMANTIC HCs

He's read so much about the different forms of love and has felt them all except for romantic love so he's a bit rattled at first

Probably coops himself up in his room for a day or two to get his bearings

When he does finally step foot out of his room, there isn't any obvious changes at first but you can't help but feel that there's something different about Uriel

Uriel is now a man on a mission

As perfectly as he executed his tasks for millennia, as fierce as he wielded his flaming sword during the Great War against the rebels, and as ruthless as he was when he faced the truly wicked…

…Uriel will have you

Of course, regardless of how much he wanted you to become his that didn't mean he suddenly turned into some sort of barbaric brute that kidnapped women for sport

He will study you so thoroughly that at times it almost feels like he knows you more than you know yourself

The little mannerisms you make during your everyday life that escape your notice? It's a given that Uriel has seen and already safely filed them away in his mind for future reference

"...She likes pointing with her lips?...Cute…" What he wouldn't give to catch you doing that while he was with you so he could partake of your lips as well—

Once he’s interested in you, only God knows at this point what has to be done for him to even lose a small bit of it

You have essentially become a key figure in Uriel’s world

Uriel always has you at the back of his mind to the point that it could even be called obsessive

However, he’s still the virtue of chastity so you don’t have to worry about him ever forcing himself upon you or anything of that sort

He’s super clingy and sorta weird, but he loves you and the last thing he wanted is for you to become sad because of him or anything else

Though he honestly can’t deny that seeing the myriad of expressions on your face, from happiness to sadness, to surprise, excitement, anger, and etc. was one of his favorite hobbies ever since falling for you

Despite his earnest wish to make you his, Uriel surprisingly takes a long time to even confess

He’s a perfectionist so it’s a given that he’ll take everything into account, including how he’ll make you fall for him first before he even thinks about confessing

Bothers Raphael for some “research material” on how to woo you a.k.a. borrow some romance manga despite Raph’s initial protests

For the sake of his own sanity, Raph begrudgingly lends Uri his stash of romance manga

It’s both hilarious and somewhat disturbing to see how taken he is with something other than work and UMAs

Amused: Michael, Cainabel, Gabriel, Simeon

Scared/Disturbed: Raphael, Luke

Neutral/Confused: Seraphiel, Azrael

Secretly plays the alto saxophone, but doesn’t deem his skill worthy enough for you to hear so he practices when he’s absolutely sure that no one is there to hear him when his skills aren’t yet up to his standards

Lowkey jealous when you hangout with the demon brothers and tries to find ways to distract you from hanging out with them

“ I seem to have seen a creature most extraordinary earlier. I believe it was one of the UMAs detailed in the tome for mysterious dwellers of the nether. Mayhaps you’d like to accompany me on a hunt? ”

His face is as straight-laced as it always is, but if you knew him long enough and looked closer, you’d notice that his ears seemed to have the slightest twinge of redness to them.

Honestly speaking, he tries to be a smooth and cool boi when it comes to you, but this dork seems to lose all his tact when faced with the radiance of your eyes and the intensity of your smile

With how long it takes him to make everything perfect before he woo’s you, time and space itself will cease to exist before he finally deems himself ready

So you have to do the wooing yourself and show him that you love all of him, imperfections and quirkiness included