#and then last year one of my coworkers was fired and came back with a gun lol 👍🏻

[alexturner2005]

just worked my last shift 🥳 it’s very weird to be closing a six year chapter of my life

[leadmeastraylittlefairy]

i love my workplace

[kiss-inthekitchen]

pairing: spencer reid x reader

set sometime in early s2; you get stuck sharing a room with your favorite boy genius who absolutely cannot know that you have feelings for him. and also, there’s only one bed. fluff, f!reader (i think there's only two usages of gender markers)

word count: 4.7k

notes: this is a rework of a very old fic i used to have up on ao3. i'm thinking i'll do more of these, i've got a few spencer fics in the vault and it was fun to rework this and see how my style has changed :)

You shivered against the cold desert air. Twirling a keyring around your finger, you headed for the door marked 3. You were exhausted from the day and so, so ready to collapse into bed as soon as you got inside your room. 

You turned the key in the lock while Spencer waited behind you. It was late, and you and the team had pulled into a motel for the night, having been dragged out to a tiny rural town by the unsub after days of tracking him through surrounding areas. He’d been apprehended, finally, and handed over to local police around midnight. You all had decided it best to spend the night before driving back into town in the morning for take off. 

So here you were, at one of those single story motels that still used actual keys instead of key cards. Given the time of night, you knew vacancies would be scarce, so you’d already expected to have to double up on rooms. Gideon had stayed behind at Quantico, leaving Hotch and Morgan in one room and JJ and Prentiss in another, with you and Spencer sharing the last room. You’d hung back while JJ got everything figured out with the concierge (who was just a bored looking kid posted at the desk), and then she’d passed you your key with its little keyring attachment listing the room number and you all bade each other goodnight.

You’d been on the team nearly a year already, but you were still the rookie compared to everyone else. Even Spence had two years on you. But seeing as you two were the youngest, and the least inclined toward the more physical parts of your job– the chasing, tackling, firing your weapon parts– you were paired off with him more often than not. 

You weren’t complaining. You’d come to know Spencer pretty well, and you didn’t feel much apprehension at the thought of sharing a room with him for one night. 

That is, until you opened the door. 

“Oh,” you said involuntarily.  

"There's only one bed,” Spencer said. 

“Sure looks that way.” 

"At least it's a queen?" 

There was a brief pause before you both started speaking at the same time. 

"Maybe we can go back to the concierge–" Spencer began. 

"I mean, I guess I don't really–" 

"–although, JJ did say we got the last–" 

"–mind as long as you–" 

You cut yourself off this time. It’s not like there was another good option, unless one of you wanted to sleep in the car. "This is fine?" it came out as a question rather than a statement. 

"I think so? I wouldn't want to– to make you uncomfortable or anything."

"This is fine," you repeated, more sure of yourself this time. “And you don’t make me uncomfortable.”  

It was only kind of a lie. You trusted Spencer with your life, of course. But he also made you nervous. He was sweet, kind, always seeming genuinely interested in anything you had to say. And of course, anyone could see that he was attractive. You were developing feelings for him, and in a job where your coworkers and your crush himself were all adept at reading people, it really wasn’t a good position for you to be in. You just hoped Spencer was as oblivious with women as Derek made him out to be. 

"We should get out of the doorway," Spencer suggested, and you realized you'd been standing in the threshold this whole time.

"Right."

The two of you walked in, Spencer closing and locking the door behind you. It was a modest room in a tiny town; your standard ugly-patterned, faded bedspread draped over the queen bed in the center, a window looking out into the parking lot, and a dresser that didn’t even have a TV on top of it. You headed straight for the bed, sitting on the edge and removing your shoes while Spencer stood by with his hands in his pockets.

"You know, if it's a problem I can sleep on the cou– uh, the chair," Spencer offered, looking back mid-sentence and realizing that the only additional furniture this motel offered was one rigid looking armchair by the window. 

"No, you're not doing that."

"What?" he asked, taken aback by the quickness of your response.

"You're not sleeping in that chair. It looks horribly uncomfortable and I’m sure it’s never been cleaned, and I know how you’d feel about that.” 

Spencer grimaced, not having thought about that particular detail. “Yeah, but, I mean… I’d do it for you.” 

God, why did he have to say stuff like that? Like you were something special. And why now, when you were stuck in the same room with him until morning? It probably didn’t even mean the same thing to him as it meant to you. He was one of the most caring people you’d ever met. He’d probably say that to any one of you on the team. 

Or maybe sleeping in a chair meant nothing to him at all. Maybe he actually didn’t want to share the bed with you and that’s why he was trying so hard to avoid it. 

Ugh. You just wanted this day to be over. It was late, the case had been a week long, and now you were probably in for a fun night of overthinking and second guessing when you’d been expecting silence and easy, dreamless sleep. 

Okay, maybe that last part was never really an option, but still. 

“Look,” you sighed, “I know this isn't an ideal situation but there's a perfectly good bed here, so let’s just share it. If you’re okay with that. It's just one night and tomorrow we'll be back home and nobody has to know about it."

You had to fight from squeezing your eyes shut in regret. You wished that had come out differently. You chanced a look at Spencer, realizing that you’d been staring down at the faded carpet pattern while you spoke. 

The look on his face was one you hadn’t seen before, and you almost couldn't place it. He seemed sort of disappointed. Disappointed that he had to share a bed with you? Or that you'd made it sound like you didn't want to share a bed with him? Nope, you could not go down that road tonight. You shook your head once as if it would clear the thoughts from your tired mind. 

“I’m okay with that," he said, casually enough that you could almost convince yourself that you’d just imagined the look on his face before. "So, do you want the shower first, or...?" Spencer asked.

"No, I can wait, you go ahead," you said. You desperately needed the moment to yourself anyway.  

You started rifling through your bag for pajamas, toiletries, and your charger as an excuse to look busy while Spencer made his way into the bathroom with his things. As soon as the door closed behind him, you flopped back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling as if it might hold all the answers. 

Spencer couldn't know about your feelings. For one thing, you were pretty sure there was a rule against dating your colleagues in the BAU. If not, there probably should be. You were such a close knit team, and if anything went wrong… you couldn’t imagine how difficult that would be. But then, the evil and uncooperative part of you also couldn’t help but think that things might go right. 

From the beginning of your time at the BAU, you’d been drawn to Spencer. It just kind of made sense. You’d gotten through school at an accelerated pace– though not as quickly as him, the man was on another fucking level when it came to academics– and you were one of the only people who found his fact dropping actually interesting, often asking him follow up questions. He’d looked adorably shocked the first few times you’d done that. 

He listened intently to your passionate rants about your favorite films and tv shows, even though he hadn’t seen any of them. When the two of you had discovered a shared interest in mythology and folklore, Hotch nearly had to separate you so you would actually get some work done. It was like you were a kid in school again, and you might’ve been embarrassed if you didn’t find it so funny, if you weren’t so giddy at the idea of a friendship that could make you feel like a kid again. 

Spencer understood you in a way that other people didn’t, laughing at your jokes even when they didn’t land for anybody else. When people interrupted or spoke over you, he always paid attention, and in situations where you were trying to add details to the profile he’d bring the conversation back around to you. 

Throughout your life you’d learned– through painstaking trial and error– to fit in pretty well in most any group you found yourself in, but you’d always considered yourself to be a little weird. A little too different. But when you were with Spencer, you felt like you didn’t have to try so hard. You could both be a little different, together. 

Spencer opened the bathroom door then, startling you. You’d been so lost in thought you hadn’t even noticed the water turn off. You looked over to see him wearing a loose white t-shirt and pajama pants, his hair still damp. And now you knew what Spencer looked like fresh out of a shower. And of course it was endearing as hell. 

“If that’s how you’re planning to sleep,” Spencer began, referencing how you were laid out in the dead center of the bed, your arms fully outstretched and hands hanging off the mattress, “then I think we might have a slight problem after all.”  

You walked out of the bathroom a short while later, dressed in your usual sleepwear of shorts and an oversized shirt. You’d put your hair up in a bun to protect it while you showered, and now it hung loose around your shoulders. You simultaneously wished your outfit was cuter and uglier; knowing your giant t-shirt wasn’t flattering your figure while also feeling like you had too much skin exposed. Not that it mattered. You were just going to get some sleep and then wake up in the morning and head home. Everything would be back to normal. 

Spencer’s in bed already. He’d turned off the big light while you were showering, the lamps on either side of the bed casting him in a softer, warmer glow. He looked up from his book to find you standing there, and the soft, familiar look in his big brown eyes had you rooted to the spot. 

“Hey,” he said softly, patting the space next to him in invitation. 

You conceded, finding your legs again and sliding into bed beside him. “Hey.” 

He fidgeted with the pages of his book, ultimately shutting it closed on his index finger to mark the page. “So, uh, are we okay?” 

“Yeah, of course,” you answered genuinely, feeling bad that your internal struggle had manifested in a way that worried him. 

“Okay, cool,” he said. He paused long enough to let you explain if you wanted to, another invitation. You knew he wouldn’t push it if you didn’t offer something up. You wanted to give him an explanation, but you couldn’t bring yourself to. 

“Sorry,” you managed. 

“For what?” 

“I don’t know… acting weird, I guess. It’s just been a long day.” 

“Oh, well, you don’t need to be sorry about that. You’re always weird.” 

Your mouth dropped open as you looked at him. “Look who’s fucking talking,” you scoffed. Some of the tension dropped from your shoulders, glad he hadn’t questioned you further. 

“Language, please,” he held up a hand to stop you. “I’m delicate.” 

“Wha–?” you let out a surprised little laugh. “You’re an idiot!” 

“Yeah okay, tell that to my I–.” 

“Oh, my IQ of 187,” you finished for him, rolling your eyes. Even that was full of endearment. “God, you are so annoying.” 

“Hm. Y’know, this might be a long night for you. I’d hate to keep you up with my annoyingness.” 

“I feel like you could’ve come up with a better word than annoyingness, Mr. 187,” you tilted your head where it rested against the headboard, looking up at him. 

“Oh, she’s being a smartass now!” he split into a surprised grin, and you could swear your heart skipped a beat. 

“You just said ass.” 

“Wow. How quickly you’ve corrupted me.” 

“Right, of course. It’s my fault.” 

“I knew you’d agree.” 

“Shut the fuck up,” you laughed. 

Things felt a little bit more normal after that, joking around with Spencer like you normally did made the rest of the night feel less daunting. 

Shortly after that, the two of you agreed that you should get some sleep, each reaching over to turn out the light on your respective sides of the bed. 

You let yourself sink into your pillow, the exhaustion you had been feeling giving way to a hyper awareness of Reid’s body next to you. You were kept awake, completely overcome by the foot of space between you and Spencer; the consequences of crossing that space, the way it might feel, the curiosity over whether he was laying awake too, thinking the same thoughts as you. Even with that foot of space separating you, you could feel his body heat. You longed to move closer to him, to touch him, to let his warmth seep into you and lull you to sleep. 

But you didn’t, and you wouldn’t, because this was just an unfortunate booking mishap. It didn’t mean anything. Tomorrow it would be over, and you could more easily go back to hiding your feelings from everyone else and yourself. 

Eventually, exhaustion won out. 

You woke what could’ve been a few minutes or a few hours later, the sky still dark. You couldn’t tell what exactly had woken you up, only the sense that you’d moved, almost like you’d fallen. But fallen from what? 

You blinked in the dark, the street lamps in the parking lot providing enough residual light to keep the room from being pitch black. 

Reid was sitting up. He must’ve bolted upright, you thought. Had that been what moved you? Were you lying on him?! 

“Hey, you okay?” 

“Sorry. Just a nightmare,” he said as if it was nothing. “Sorry to wake you.” 

“What was it about?” you ignored his apologies, sitting up as well. 

“I don't really even remember,” he breathed, almost like it was funny. “Just having a physiological reaction to whatever it was, I guess.” 

You had nightmares too, of course. You all did. You hated remembering them, but you also hated the times when you woke up in the dark, dazed and inexplicably scared. Without thinking, you reached for his hand. 

He turned to look at you then. “I really didn't mean to wake you,” he reiterated. 

“I figured,” you smiled slightly. You noticed his breathing was just a bit too fast. You rubbed your thumb over the back of his hand, leaning over to rest your weight against his side, your head on his shoulder. His nervous system would regulate itself quicker this way. 

“You were on my pillow, by the way.” 

“What?” you ask, your head jerking back from him. 

“I totally called it. You rolled right into the center of the bed in your sleep. Total bed hog.” 

“Hey!” you protested, pulling your hand back from his in embarrassment. So you had been lying on top of him. Or at least really close to him. His hand chased after yours, finding you again. 

“That wasn’t me complaining about it.” 

“Oh,” was all you could think to say back. 

It was quiet for a minute. You let your head fall back onto Spencer’s shoulder, but your heart raced in your chest. 

“Can I ask you something?” he questioned, his tone becoming more serious. 

“Oh– of course,” you answered, your brow creasing. 

“What did you mean when you said ‘it’s not ideal’ and ‘nobody has to know about it’?” 

“Wh– I– Spencer, come on.” 

He didn’t give you an out this time. Just waited for an answer. 

“I don’t even really know,” you sighed.  

“I believe you’re being partially truthful about that.” 

“Don’t profile me.” 

“I’m not. I just know you.” 

You sighed. “You know, sometimes I hate that stupid memory of yours.” 

“I don’t need an eidetic memory to remember that. It was a weird thing to say, and it happened like four hours ago.” 

“You’re guesstimating. And it wasn’t that weird.” 

“Maybe not, but the way you said it was. And you’re avoiding my question.” 

You continued to avoid it, biting down on your bottom lip. 

“And you stuttered when I brought it up.” 

“I told you to stop profiling me.” 

This time, he just hummed in response. 

“And so what if I stuttered?” 

“Stuttering is usually more my thing. A nervousness thing.” 

Maybe this was actually your nightmare. Maybe you’d wake up soon and none of this would’ve been real, and you wouldn’t have had to explain to Spencer that the reason you’d had an attitude was because the situation tonight had made it harder to hide your feelings from him. Big feelings that became a lot harder to ignore when he was this close to you, still holding your hand, the mix of scents from his detergent and deodorant clouding your judgment. Of all the embarrassing scenarios that you could’ve imagined playing out tonight, this was very high up on the list. 

“I said ‘it’s not ideal’ because it’s not, just by definition. We were supposed to get a double room and we didn’t. Not ideal. And I said no one has to find out because I can already see Morgan having a field day with it and I know the exact expression that’ll be on his face–” 

“The eyebrows,” he nodded, lips pursed. 

“And then everyone else will get in on it and I just figured…” you sighed. “I don’t know. I didn’t want to deal with that.” 

“That all makes total sense.” 

“Good,” you breathed. Too relieved. 

“Now tell me the rest of it.” 

“God, Spencer–” you huffed out, frustrated. He knew you too well. 

You wanted to run. Maybe you could go sleep in the car after all. And then ignore Spencer for the rest of the day, and then the year, and your life, and– 

“Don’t make me say it,” you breathed. This had to be a dream. 

“But there is something to be said?” he questioned, his tone hushed, almost reverent. 

It was just vague enough. You could pretend it was nothing. 

“Yes.” 

You felt like you’d just blown your life up with one word. 

Spencer took a deep breath, your body cresting and falling with the movement of it. 

“You make me feel better about being myself,” he confessed.  

You shut your eyes. You had a constricting feeling in your throat suddenly, and the awful realization that you might cry. 

He spoke again, because you couldn’t. “I haven’t always felt good about it, you know? And then you joined the team, and, well– you changed a lot of things for me. And you’re beautiful, obviously, and I was scared to mess up what we have, because it’s special, I think–” 

“It is.” 

“–and then you started freaking out when you saw the bed,” he was smiling now, you could hear it, “and I thought, maybe it wouldn’t be so crazy… maybe I could make you feel that way too.” 

“You do. Of course you do. I feel like I can be my full self with you. I don’t know that I’ve ever felt like that before.” 

Spencer laughed, a little delirious giggle, and squeezed your hand in his. You’d managed to avoid crying, thankfully, and you grinned along with him, looking down at your joined hands as you squeezed him back. 

Things seemed to still for a beat, the two of you sitting with this moment and letting it stretch out. You still couldn’t really believe this was happening. You might have to tell Spencer to pinch you. 

“So what does that mean for us now?” you asked. 

“Well, for right now at least, I think it just means that we can go back to sleep without overthinking things into oblivion.” 

“I was not–”

“Okay, this time I am profiling you, and you’re lying,” he cut you off, his smile still evident.  

“Oh, this was such a mistake.”

He continued like you hadn’t spoken, laughing a little as he went. “I could practically hear it. It’s like, you know when a computer is trying to use too much processing power and the fan starts whirring really loud? Like that but just like right next to me, like tangible—“  

“Okay! Thank you so much, I actually totally got it, you can stop now.” 

He laughed, and your cheeks warmed. 

“For the record, I meant we could both stop overthinking.” Then he shifted a little, facing you a bit more. With the hand that wasn’t holding yours, he brushed a strand of hair from your face, a fake pout on his lips. “Sorry I make you nervous.” 

You cackled at that, if it was possible to cackle in hushed tones. “Oh, I bet you are. Besides, I know you like me now, so you’ve lost that card.” 

“Are you certain of that?” 

“Certain that you like me or certain that you can’t make me nervous?” 

“The latter. I do like you, if that was unclear.” 

Your heart sped up, contradicting you as you answered, “Then I’m certain you can’t make me nervous.” 

He titled your face up to his then, using his index finger underneath your chin to make you look at him. “You’re an awful liar.” 

You just shrugged, watching triumphantly as Spencer’s gaze fell to your lips. “It’s been working out pretty well for me so far.” 

“I guess it has,” he murmured, closing the distance between you and finally kissing you. 

After so many months of imagining (and berating yourself for imagining) what Spencer’s lips might feel like on yours, you weren’t disappointed. 

For once you didn’t have to think at all, the chemistry between you and him drowning out everything else. His hand fell to your waist, and yours moved to the curve of his jaw, pulling him closer as his mouth moved against yours. Your teeth grazed his bottom lip and he gasped, and your skin felt like it was lit up from the inside. 

You pulled away to breathe, and to process, and to try and stop your head from swimming. You were rewarded with the awestruck look in Spencer’s eyes as he opened them again. 

“Okay, was it just me, or–” 

“That was crazy,” you breathed.

“Crazy,” he agreed. 

“Spence?” 

“Yeah?” 

“I don’t think we’re getting back to sleep tonight.” Your eyes widened at the implication of saying those words at that time. “Not, like, in the sex way, though,” you hurried to correct yourself. “I need like, 4-5 business days to process things first, and I– well, I just meant, like– you know?” 

Spencer was nodding at you even as his eyebrows pulled together in a frown. “Can I still kiss you during those 4-5 business days?” 

“Oh, yeah,” you said, sounding breathless. 

“Cool,” he agreed. “You seem really nervous, by the way.” 

“Well, you kissed me.” 

“I did.”  

“How were you not nervous?” you breathed. 

“Oh, I was. Your reaction is making me feel a whole lot better about it though.” 

You scoffed half-heartedly. “I do so much for you.” 

“You do,” he replied earnestly, letting go of your hand to wrap his arm around your shoulders as he pressed a kiss to your forehead. “We could lie back down, if you want. Like we were before I so rudely woke you up.” 

“Yeah, I’m super mad about that,” you joked. “Anyway, I was asleep for that, so you’ll have to show me what I was doing.” 

He seemed all too pleased to do so. “Okay, so you were basically like,” he leaned back against the pillows, pulling you down with him, moving his hand to the side of your head to guide you to the place where his shoulder met his chest, “Like that, and then your arm was over here,” he picked up your arm and guided it around his waist. 

“Oh god, that’s so embarrassing,” you said, realizing that he must’ve been awake when you’d done it. 

“Yeah, I know. Really terrible time for me.” 

“I can imagine. I can scoot back over to my side of the bed, just say the word.” 

“Don’t you dare,” he said, squeezing you closer. 

You trailed your fingers up and down his waist, feeling more content than you had in ages. 

“I can’t believe you’d suggest that I would have sex with you right after confessing my feelings. Like, take me to dinner first at least.” 

“Oh my god,” you half-exclaimed, half-laughed. You felt your cheeks heat up again, grateful it was still too dark in the room to be noticeable. “You’re right, I’m so sorry. How’s next Friday?” 

“Hmm, I don’t know. My work schedule is kind of unpredictable. I’ll have to get back to you.” 

“You’re such an ass.” 

A few short hours later, you were back on the jet with the rest of the team. You were lying on the couch while Spencer sat in a seat one row up and across from you, both to avoid suspicion and so you could try to catch up on sleep. He sat facing away from you, but with the angle you were at you could still see one side of his face if you tilted your head up. 

You were just beginning to fade when your phone buzzed next to you. 

Spencer: I have to tell you something, coworker to coworker. 

You looked up to see him blank faced, looking down at the book in his right hand, holding his phone in the left. 

You text back: okay? 

Spencer: My crush asked me out last night. 

You’re exceptionally glad no one was sitting close enough to see you. Spencer had caught you off guard, and you felt an infatuated grin spreading across your face. 

You: what did u say? 

Spencer: Wanted to get your opinion first. 

You: i think u should say yes, obviously. 

Spencer: Idk, I’m kinda nervous. I think she’s trying to jump me on the first date.

You just barely managed to refrain from laughing out loud. You looked up at Spencer again, and he’s looking at his phone as if it contained nothing more than a weather report. You’re astounded. 

You: one could argue that technically you’ve already slept together, so there’s less to be nervous abt

You saw his eyebrows raise just slightly. Success. 

Spencer: You’re trouble, you know that? See you Friday night

You: i promise i won’t try to jump you 

Spencer: Oh

Spencer: I fear I may have shot myself in the foot here

You: i wouldn’t worry about it too much

Spencer: That’s rich coming from you 

You rolled your eyes even though he couldn't see you. 

You: whatever. wear something sexy ;) 

You heard him blow air out of his nose, an almost laugh. 

“Something funny?” you heard Derek ask. 

Shit. 

“This book contains a historical inaccuracy that was proven incorrect eight years before its publishing date,” Spencer replied without missing a beat. 

Unbelievable.

You: you’re unhinged :*

Spencer: Go to sleep already, would you? 

You: coworker to coworker? my crush keeps interrupting my beauty sleep 

Spencer: He’s probably worried about the worldwide implications of you becoming any more beautiful 

You: i guess that’s why the universe gave you insomnia :( too pretty 

Spencer: Stop flirting with me

You: bc you’re too delicate?? 

Spencer: Yes 

You snapped your phone shut, feeling dazed. You watched the clouds go by in the window across from you, and you couldn’t help letting your gaze slide over to Spencer. He’d put his phone down as well, concentrating on his book. Or pretending to concentrate. He was turning the pages much too slowly for his actual pace. 

You: you have got to do a better job of fake reading than that

You heard a page turn. 

You looked up again to see the ghost of a smile threatening the corner of his mouth. 

This was going to be fun. And also, you were so screwed. 

[tetsuskei]

synopsis: when a coworker brings their baby to work, that sets off the gears in kuroo's head to have some of your own

notes: first installment of oh, baby! repost from my old blog, with some editing done. please enjoy!

warnings: mentions of kids, unprotected sex, praise, body worship, cock warming, kuroo is horny on an astronomical level

interactions and reblogs are appreciated!

at first, everything is innocent. tetsurō knows his coworker only means well. but tetsurō should've expected that when ‘bring your child to work day’ came at the jva, that he'd encounter at least one infant.

his coworker asks him if he wants to hold their baby after catching him stare at the small child in awe. the resemblance between coworker and child clearly evident. he's so amazed at how strong genetics could be.

then tetsurō wondered how strong his own genetics would be when it came to your children.

to recall back, the conversation of children came up briefly between the two of you. you both decided that it would be logical to wait a little while before trying to have any. kuroo was focused on building up his career and so were you. you just wanted to have your priorities straight and be responsible. nothing's wrong with that, right?

and so the conversation had been left with a pin in it and you both moved on in life. you would question when to have children later.

when holding the child in his arms, kuroo only panicks for a moment (were babies always this small?) before the child naturally curls up into his chest. their tiny hand grabs ahold of his (ridiculously) large pinky before continuing to sleep soundly. they even coo with joy.

"they seem to really like you!" his coworker laughs. "you seem to be a natural with kids!"

tetsurō only crinkles his nose in confusion but he can't help the fluttering in his chest at those words. "i'm not really doing anything but holding them."

they laugh again and nod with understanding. "sure, but you seem to be the type to make a great father, kuroo-san. you're a good person. very patient and understanding. by the way, when do you and the missus plan to have kids?"

and so having been asked the question sent him on a spiral.

by the time he's asked, several years have passed since your first conversation about kids. both you and him are financially stable. you're both lucky enough to live comfortably, and you're both happy where you are in your careers. most importantly, you're both married.

honestly, just the thought of being married to you and having a little family turns kuroo on too much. but he wants to have a family that's better than the broken one he had growing up. the best thing he can do for his kids is show them a healthy and long lasting relationship with their mother. and god does he know he can do that. he loves you so damn much his heart aches. he'll walk across fire for you, and the best part is that he knows you'll do the same for him.

the man isn't really present for the rest of the day, having to be called out during a meeting for being unfocused, and eventually sent home after he lies and says he isn't feeling well. and it's partially true, because now that he knows he wants kids, he feels an empty hole in his chest almost as if a part of him is missing.

and if being 'sick' means trying to conceal the boner in his slacks, then so be it. he doesn't want to relieve himself of his problem, no. not when the only thing on his mind is cumming inside of you raw.

tetsurō comes home to the smell of your cooking, his second favorite scent right after you. just seeing you makes him crazy. he'd been thinking about putting a baby in you all day. his hands itching to get started.

you haven't seen him yet, but tetsurō doesn't waste anymore time. he simply eyes you intently, taking time to admire you and all the soft curves of your backside. your perfect ass. you feel the warmth of him before seeing him and that's enough to startle you.

a small gasp leaves your mouth as you look up at him surprised before a honeyed smile appears on your face. a smile that's only reserved for him. "hi! you're home earlier than usual."

he returns your greeting with a grin. "hi beautiful, how was your day?" he tugs you into his grasp. lean arms encasing you in his hold as he rests his chin on top of your head and massages your hips.

hips he knows that will bare his children.

"it was good tetsu, are you hungry? i'm finishing up dinner now, and we can talk about your day." you respond, focus retuned to the stove in front of you.

he has to admit, the food smells delicious, but he's hungry for something else this evening. and unfortunately he'll have to endure an earful from you later about letting the food get cold, but he doesn't mean any harm. he just has priorities.

he hums, turning you fully towards him. his eyes lower and become stuck on your stomach. brain stuck on the thought of you being round with his child. you would look so cute pregnant. your breast would be filled with milk, too. maybe you'll let him taste—

"'ro?" you voice snaps him from his thoughts. you try to make eye contact with him and he only smiles, not registering a single thing you just said. his large hands take your face in his hold and you feel his calloused fingers run over your cheeks before he kisses your nose and then all over your face.

"tetsurō, what's gotten into you?" you giggle. you didn't mind his affection, don't get it wrong, but there was something oddly...intense about the way he's acting that you know something is up.

the ravenette seems to contemplate his thoughts, carefully reeling over the words in his mind. "i just thought that...maybe we should start...tryin', that's all." he mumbles, mouth pressing kisses all over your skin. you shiver at his touch, at the way his scent and body crowd in on your space.

ah, there it is.

your cheeks heat up, and you know exactly what he means. his words always slur slightly when he's turned on, almost like he's delirious or hooked on lust.

that paired with his cock poking your backside through his slacks.

tetsurō only continues. "today my co-worker brought in the cutest little baby i'd ever seen. looked just like 'em, too. i didn't really understand how children could make someone so happy...but i'm startin' to." he explains, tugging off your pants and underwear in one fell swoop, the cold air hitting your folds makes you jump.

you swallow nervously, "tetsu—"

"made me realize how cute our kids could—will be. they'd be the cutest in the world, i'm sure. wonder if they'd have my eyes and your smile. and hopefully they'll inherit your hair or else we'll be in trouble." he laughs before he undoes his tie, then his shirt, and tosses the garments somewhere on the floor. his belt is undone next and he's quick to unfasten his pants.

you eyes widen, and your heart fastens at the mental image of a tiny child in your arms, the spitting image of you and kuroo.

your husband pauses again, his brows knitted in thought. "do you think...that i can be a good father? for our kids?" he leans his forehead against yours and closes his eyes for a moment as he must be pondering the very question.

“of course.” you nod slowly. "i don't think so, i know so. you'll be great with our kids, tetsu." you answer, running your fingers along his jaw.

"yeah?" he breathes, pulling down his pants along with his boxers. "do you still want some?" he moves your body so that you're sitting safely on the counter away from everything else.

"w-with you? yes..." you answer, voice getting caught in your throat as he prods his fat tip at your entrance. you're already soaked enough that you know he can just...slide right in.

kuroo's breathing becomes extremely labored and his gaze darkens at your words. his single strand of restraint is being pulled taut. "then can we? can we start trying, sweets?" his hands are groping at your chest and hips, and he riles himself up the longer he touches you without relief.

you barely say 'yes' before he pushes himself into you, his jaw going slack as he is enveloped by you, cunt warm and inviting and gummy walls pleasurable beyond means.

his eyes glass over and he's completely enamored by the fact that he can be this close to you. that you trust him to hold you like he is now.

you look up at him with near helplessness as his grip on your legs doesn't loosen up. the stretch of him never is something you think you can get used to, as you feel yourself struggle to adjust to his size. the heavy and thick fullness of his cock is intense. you can feel how it throbs with need.

"do you think—" he moans as your cunt drags over his cock, sucking him in more, "that they're going to be interested in volleyball?" he lets his tip kiss your cervix and you keen, causing a groan to escape his mouth. "you think they're gonna be a middle blocker like me?"

"are you really asking me that right now?" you sigh, fingers frantically gripping the counter beneath you. you move your hips against him and hope that will shut him up.

spoiler, it doesn't. "why not—fuck, just like that baby—it's a genuine question." he buries his face in the side of your neck, and the smell of your lavender soap invades his senses before his teeth choose to bite and scrape at your skin.

"you're such a volleyball nerd, tetsu." you laugh but soon moan as both of your hips move synchronously. "when are you not thinking about it?"

he huffs out a laugh, pressing a kiss to your temple as he presses you further into the kitchen counter. his lips linger against your skin before you felt them curve into a smile. "when i'm busy thinking 'bout your cute self, which is definitely more than volleyball."

you tried to formulate a response but only a refined moan escapes your lips again as kuroo pounds you. the sound of skin on skin filters out any remaining thoughts you had.

"you don't understand how crazy i've been goin' today." he grunts, nearly delirious in the way you cream on him so well. he can already feel himself twitch with the need to cum but as much as he wants to, he wants this moment to last a bit longer. he can't cum before you.

one of his hands lace with your own as he regards you. "been thinking about all the different ways to get you pregnant. of all the cute little maternity outfits you'll wear. of me taking care of you when you get tired and your feet ache. you're going to look so pretty carrying our baby, sweetheart."

he's rambling and you're not even sure if he's talking to you or if he's talking directly to your womb. but his words alone are enough to bring you to your first orgasm, pussy clamping down hard on his cock.

"jesus christ," he groans, struggling to keep composure, "it's like your cunt is trying to suck the life out of me."

you only whimper, legs quivering in a way you didn't know they could as you slip them tighter around his waist. with the way kuroo is bullying your insides he just might be successful at his agenda of getting you pregnant tonight.

he moves your legs over his shoulders, laying you down so your back is pressed against the cold surface of the marble counter. the new angle he decides to rut in you at causes you to cry out in surprise.

"so perfect, so pretty like this split on my cock. gonna be even prettier filled with my cum." his head bows so that he can kiss you and you eagerly meet his lips, the taste of him comforting, addicting, and familiar all at once.

he brings one hand down to your clit, moving his fingers methodically over your bundle of nerves as he coos and encourages you to cum again.

"tetsu, please," you whine, "you feel so good, wanna have your babies." the need and anticipation of getting your husbands cum is starting to make you frustrated yet needy all at the same time. yet the way he's making you feel right now makes you want this moment to last forever.

he must sense what you're feeling and hums, kissing you again sweetly. "oh you're not understandin' me princess," he breathes, hips moving in an animalistic way. "i'm gonna have you knocked up by the end of tonight. that's a promise."

"you promise?" you look up at him with doe eyes, mouth parted as little moans still escape you.

he'd give you the world if you asked. he'd pluck the sun from the sky, too. when he presses his forehead to yours he only professes his love to you like he's saying his vows for the first time. he can feel the tightening of his balls and burning pit in his abdomen as his release creeps up on him.

and when he pinches your bundle of nerves, you cum again for a second time. your eyes roll back in your head and your nails dig deeply into the muscle of his broad shoulders.

tetsurō nearly doubles over when his orgasm follows, and he spills thick, white cords of cum into you. his golden eyes look at you and you swear he cums just a little more from the eye contact you two hold. the hard throbbing and pulsing warmth he provides you makes you clench around him again, a feeling of wholeness and elation when you're finally full of him.

you're both incredibly still for a moment and you just hold each other. he sits you up with regard, and you brush back his sweaty fringe. his large hands massage your muscles before he carefully carries you to your shared bedroom.

he sits down and you realize you're both still very connected.

"t-tetsu!" you grab onto him, eyes widening as your taken by surprised at the new angle.

"fuck..." he hisses.

there's something sensitive in the way he moves inside of you, and you're not sure if that has to do with his cum inside of you or your cunt trying to hold in every drop.

kuroo always liked the notion of kissing your ring finger, because it reminded him that the two of you are joined—united. you start to speak but he does before you can even formulate the words.

"i hope you don't think we're done here." he murmurs, and by the twitch of his cock you know he's serious. him and his damned stamina. exhausted, you only shift your trembling hips to prepare for more.

it's looking to be a long night.

and so it's not surprising when several weeks pass by and when said coworker asks him again about kids, he proudly shows them the ultrasound photo hidden away in his wallet.

he only hopes that after baby number 1 you won't mind more.

taglist (send an ask to be added): @boosyboo9206 @milkteeboba @kodzukenmaaa @honeybleed

[missfertileandferal]

lowkey super anxious to post this but im missing you guys so much <3

i plan on a solid return soon! i just wanted to get off my chest whats been going on:

Earlier this year, I dealt with an awful situation of my kinky stuff leaking into real life. My insane coworkers found my content and as I was serving on the clock, proceeded to show my customers and all the staff. then i was fired. Im traumatized to say the least but I over came it.

Come mid summer, I planned so step back for a little bit to move apartments no more than a couple weeks. What happened was both my job (i worked with close family friends so stressful) and a really bad situation with a companion found about my kink stuff. i never expected or was prepared for the humiliation, deception, and pain that would come from my fetish journey

My last job was such a loss. I had been blessed with a cute job as a medical office assistant without any credentials (i wasnt doing anything out of my capabilities of course) it was so peaceful and perfect compared to the drama of my last gig plus working with familiar people felt just like home honestly. Then I got covid. I was out for 2 weeks, at the same time i was moving into my new place. I tried calling them back to let them know I was cleared and ready to get back to work. I received a humiliating text. I was dismissed. That turned into a crippling anxiety of them confessing to my family what I do in my past time

The following week I was met with more disappointment. Ive said this before but I dont have many people in my corner. It used to suck to admit but I stand with pride now knowing those who are around me love me 100% regardless what I do or dont do.

One of my dearest dearest friends, who I had previously communicated what I do (not to a full extent they always respected it) called me very dramatically only a week before I planned to see them (they live across the country and we ALWAYS visit each other when in our cities) It still doesnt feel real tbh, the call only last 40 seconds. I was informed that “I was going on the wrong path” and could no longer be associated with. That’s alls that happened. 8 years down the drain

I was informed by outside sources that my hometown opps had gotten hold of my content (who my ex friend still associate with but I despise bc they’ve always been obsessed with me but in a bad way) and they had confronted him about being my friend. he pussied out and cut me off. they also mass reported my last instagram account😡🤬

I had to take some time back to seriously debate if these loses were worth it. I was swallowed with so much anxiety knowing that an uncomfortable amount of people in my zip code knew what ive been up to. its already complicated being into this and while at the same time not being in a plus size body. thats another conversation tho

That debate has turned into me accepting these events as the universe weeding out people/things that no longer serve me. This has shown peoples true colors, if I am not to be associated with because of my sexual freedom, body acceptance, and undoing of fat phobia then PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE.

Im recovering ❤️‍🩹 but my heart and hedonism can’t be helped. i love being a kinky lil gut slut. its helped me grow in so many ways from acceptance to living an esoteric dreamy life. i love all the hot girls and guys that i see on my timeline. they hype me up and vise versa. i love this little corner of the internet. my fellow freaks keep me going. i’ve been so on and off online but every time i come back to the sweetest words and support. thank you guys for your patience and consideration

my anxiety is to the roof as im typing. its crazy that these privacy problems havent been within the actual community. funny. if your still reading this I love you extra. ill be streaming on ig on my comeback day!

new ig acc @missfertileandferal💘

[shojizbae]

Rave Baby

Spencer Reid x Reader

After a long case, some of the team pitstops at your apartment, and Morgan takes the liberty of searching through some memories. He comes across some scandalous photos that light a fire in Reid.

This last case was challenging. To make it worse, the power had gone out in DC due to a blackout. With a chirp, I told the team that I always had a generator and that we could cool with some coronas in my fridge. Hotch had declined, stating the necessity of returning to his wife and son. I had thrown open all the windows and cranked the AC, attempting to push out all the hot air. With my permission, Derek had distributed beers from my fridge and found a bag of chips.

A battery-powered radio was located, and my CDs were run through to find something to unwind with. With a sigh, Emily sank onto my couch and sipped her beer.

"Uhh, I can't tell you how nice your apartment is."

"Yeah," JJ groaned from the corner, holding her hair up and sticking her face in the AC vent. Derek was still looking through my belongings when he came across a Scooter CD.

"Well, well, well, where did a girl like you find this type of music?" I looked at the album cover.

"Oh, that's from my college days." I tried to dismiss it. This isn't the sort of stuff I would share with my coworkers.

"Really? Let's go ahead and pop this in."

"No don't!" I tried to launch it at him before he could open it, but it was too late. A few photos I took the night I bought that CD slipped into his lap.

"Woah ho ho!" Spencer, who had been content to sift through my shitty romance novels, peaked his head up like a prairie dog at the sound of Derek's chuckle. "What do we have here?" He held up one photo, and I hid behind my beer bottle.

"That was years ago," I whined

"What is this?" Spencer came to the group, attention fully peaked

"It's (Y/n). At a rave." Spencer snatched the photo out of Morgans's hand like a cat but Emily nearly yelled

"Shut up, let me see." she slammed her glass bottle on the table and grabbed one of the photos from him

"No way," JJ stated, following Spencer into the circle to look at the evidence. "I could never imagine you at a rave. I've seen you get upset that you left your clothes in the washing machine."

"They'll get moldy," I whined

"Holy shit. Where was this?" Emily inspects a photo of me in a bikini, fluffy leg warmers, and a matching bucket hat. "Look at your butt where were you hiding this." She makes an attempt to check me out, but I sink further into my couch

"I don't know, I was never sober in the 72 hours around a rave."

"Oh yeah? What did you take?" Morgan begged

"All sorts of crap, mostly hallucinogens. My rave mentor told me music is better when you're high."

"So why'd you stop going?" Emily asked

"I grew up."

"You grew up?" JJ asked, putting the photo on the table

"Yeah," I rubbed my hands up and down my thigh and sighed. I wasn't entirely ready to trauma-dump the team, but here I was. "My uncle, who basically raised me, passed on Thanksgiving in the sophomore year of my bachelor's. Hallucinogens made it easy not to grieve, and loud music blocked my ability to think. I would dance around and tell everyone that 'tonight was the night,' and I was 'finally free,' but I would just see him after a while. He would ask me, 'Why are you doing this, my dove?'. I couldn't ignore him anymore, so I just stopped. Put all my teeny bikinis in a box and put it past me." I cleared my throat, realizing that I had put a damper on the mood

"We could play the CD. I think I'll still remember the rhythm." I switched in the discs and let the synth radiate through my living room. Immediately, I felt the groove, letting it carry my limbs airily around me. I felt myself disconnect as the beat continued to pump. Before I could drift away wholly, Emilie's voice brought me down to earth.

"You packed all this away? That means you still have it?"

"Yeah, in a box in the back of my closet." before I could discover my mistake, she darted to the back of my apartment, and JJ took off with her.

"Oh hell, I gotta see this." Derek got up and dropped the last of the photos. Reid dutifully packed them up and sifted through the photos, stopping on one.

"What did you find, Spence?" I crawled toward him slowly. I gasped at the photo. My Rave mom, Zoe, who was only 4 months older than me, and I were posing together. He sifted through the images with it and stacked them. I gasped at the image. The photo on the top was of Zoe throwing up a peace sign, showing the neon pink paint on her palms, and a green hand was playfully on my throat. Both of our bodies had been splattered with neon ain't, but noticeably, I had two big hands brink on the triangle bikini we wore. One pink, one green.

The picture below was of Zoe and I very dramatically kissing. Zoe had made smudged hand prints on my ass. I had a leg up on her hip, and you could see drool and lipstick around each other mouths.

"I hardly even remember that night, and I thought it was trendy to act gay." I pulled the pictures from his hand and returned them to the case. "I'm sorry you had to see that."

"Why are you apologizing? Y-you had fun."

"Yeah, but you're my colleague. This is embarrassing and you probably are ashamed of me."

"Actually, I'm jealous. In college, I had no friends and didn't go to parties. I was, I am, a loser. You had fun."

"Did you not hear my spiel about using drugs not to think?"

"Yeah, but you were hot." That shocked you. He was only two beers deep, and Reid was spilling his secrets.

You laughed in shock.

"Spencer, you can't say things like that." I slapped at his chest playfully.

"WELL!" I could hear Derek's strained voice. "This!" he put the giant plastic tub on the floor next to us. "This is one heavy bucket of slutty clothes."

"I want to try something on!" JJ greedily popped the snaps on the cover. With giggles, JJ and Emily started pulling out bikinis that looked like they were made out of spider webs.

"Woah ho ho!" Derek giggled, holding up a low-rise thong. "I hope you wore a jacket."

"Alright, that's enough!" I grabbed it from his reach

"Hey, could I borrow one of these?" JJ asked. "Will has been asking for something new."

"Yeah, but don't borrow it. I don't want it back." I made a face of disgust

"Yeah, I might want to just wear one around my apartment?" Emily held something balled up

"Take as many as you want. I won't wear them again. I should sell them. I could finally go on vacation."

"Woah woah woah, if you sell these, what will you wear on vacation?" Derek joked

"Clothes." I snatched another piece of hosiery from him. My knees cracked as I stood and got another beer from the kitchen. "Now, get out of my panties." I swatted him with the bottoms as I walked by

by some stroke of God, the lights flicked back on, and across the street, I could see the surrounding building come back to life.

"Well, I've got to get to my house before my ice cream spoils." Emily stood and collected a few pieces of fabric.

"Yeah, and completely unrelated. I have to call Will." JJ juts out her lip in an admission of guilt. They snuck out the door, giggling and tucking crazy fabric in their bags.

"I should get going too, wonder boy. You need a ride home?"

"No, I should be fine. There's a train in the next hour." Reid was still immersed in the photos.

"Well, don't bug her too badly." He left with a wink

"Why are you still looking at those? They're ancient."

"The date on the back says 1998, making you 20 years old. You're 28." Finally, he puts the photos down. "I'm having a hard time picturing you going to a rave. You only read sappy novels from the seventies. I saw three copies of Tuck Everlasting on your shelves." All the talk from my coworkers and the five beers in my system made me more than angry and bold.

Stupid ideas were my biggest export when I was inebriated.

"Well, I know the FBI has kept me in shape. I'm going to my bedroom and try these on." I gave a coy smile as I took a handful of sets and strutted off to the back of my place.

"W-what do you mean you're going to try them on."

"I've gotta see if they still fit."

[ateezthings]

Thoughts are too much

pairing: bf!Changbin x female reader genre: angsty angst with fluffy ending warnings: body image issues (esp. regarding weight, hairiness, posture, sweatiness), mental health struggles, reader is a bit of an asshole, Changbin is a sweetheart word count: 1,4 k songs to listen to while reading: palaye royale – don’t cry enhypen – moonstruck i prevail – doomed ninety one – why’m sleeping at last – you’re enough a/n: to anyone who relates to these thoughts: I hope you find the courage to cultivate your own little Changbin in your head, who can fight those thoughts for you. Changbin is just my little safe place when it comes to body issues.

No, you were not gonna miss this train. You sprinted towards the closing doors, determined to make it to work on time. Just before the doors closed, you made it inside, the people around staring at you.

You found an empty seat and sat down, sweaty but feeling proud. As you took out your book you noticed you sat down opposite of an incredibly beautiful woman. It wasn’t so much her features that were pretty, it was more how everything about her seemed so incredibly well-proportioned. She also seemed to hold herself well, she definitely had good posture. Her shoulders were not drooping like yours often were. She also didn’t seem to sweat like you currently were.

A few years ago, you were deeply buried in your self-critical thoughts about your looks. Your mind didn’t need anything to attack every single thing about your body. ‘Your stomach is way too big’, ‘You’re way too hairy for anyone to be attracted to you’, ‘You should be ashamed of your weight’. Horrible stuff, day in, day out.

You’d worked long and hard to keep these thoughts and feelings in check. You knew there was no other way around it but to keep trying to be nice to yourself. Some days were easier than others. Today seemed to be a particularly tough day.

As soon as you looked at the woman opposite of you, all those thoughts you thought you had handled, came back rushing in without warning. ‘Look at her, she doesn’t look like a sweaty pig’, ‘You should suck in your stomach more, hers isn’t even visible’, ‘Sit up straight, you look awful’.

You were listening to every single thing your mind shot at you. You couldn’t seem to deal with them today and so you had no choice but to start believing all the horrible things again. They seemed true in that moment. You turned up the song on your headphones a bit more.

…

You’d made it to lunch, sitting next to a few colleagues, just chitchatting away. As you got up to get a second serving of the pasta bake, your coworker stated “A second serving, are you sure?”

She wasn’t a particularly good friend at work, but it was enough. It was enough to summon that dark cloud of thoughts again. ‘Nothing about you was or ever will be good enough’. She might as well have punched you in the stomach.

…

With enough distraction, panic about getting fired and more caffeine you’d made it through the work day. All you wanted to do now was get home, and lie down in front of your comfort show Gilmore Girls.

As soon as you shut your apartment door your bones seemed to get 37 kilograms heavier. You leaned against the door and took a deep breath.

“Honey?” His voice startled you. He poked his head around the corner. It was your Changbin.

“Hey baby… what are you doing here?”.

“Oh, I just went to the gym around the corner. By the time I was done I remembered this is usually the time you get home from work, I wanted to surprise you.” That smile, it melted away the tension in your forehead and shoulders. You got up to hug him. It was one of those hugs where you could let go, shifting almost all your weight on Changbin, who did his best to hold you together.

“Are you okay, honey?”

You didn’t feel like you could verbally express everything that was going on in your brain. “Yeah, of course”

He softly let go of your hug. “Then how about some dinner?”

“Uh, I’m not really hungry right now”

“Are you sure? You’ve worked all day”

You were getting more and more irritated the more he questioned you. “Yes, Changbin, I am sure. I am not hungry.”

He took a step back and put his palms up in defense. “Okay, okay… I’m just worried about you… You sure everything’s alright?”

A small grunt left your lips. “Yes, and I don’t want to be questioned anymore. Please just leave me alone” Your voice sounded louder than you intended.

And there it was: the hurt on his face. It wasn’t too obvious but you could read him. And he could probably read you. Which is not at all what you wanted right now.

“I need to leave.” You hadn’t taken off your shoes when you got home so you just opened the door.

“No, Y/N please talk to-” But you already shut the door on him before he could finish his sentence.

After a few steps you stopped for a beat to hear if he would come after you, but he didn’t. He knew you too well to assume you wanted to talk in a situation like this.

Of course, you knew you were behaving like an asshole. He didn’t deserve your bitchiness but it was all too much in your brain today. The thoughts, the anxiety, the depression, it all weighed too heavy on your shoulders today. Why was he even still with you?

You’d talked to him about your mental health struggles in the past, and he was always trying his best to ease the struggle. But every few weeks you started believing in the thoughts again and they were telling you to isolate yourself. Changbin didn’t love those parts of you anyways, so you deserved to be alone.

That got you thinking: Changbin sometimes had rolls on his stomach, he got sweaty at times. But that didn’t make you love him any less. You loved him for him, not because of what he looked like or didn’t look like. He made you feel safe and home.

There was a tiny voice on your head that said maybe, just maybe that was also the case for him. He never gave you much reason to doubt his love for you. So, what were you doing consciously sabotaging your relationship? Why were you walking around alone at night, instead of confiding in your best friend and boyfriend? How stupid of you.

It took you a good few minutes to find the way back to your apartment. In your emotional state you just walked wherever without looking about where you were going.

Eventually you made it back. You realized you didn’t know what to say to Changbin.

Before you could worry further, your apartment door swung open and Changbin stood right in front of you. He looked relieved. “Oh, thank god, honey, you’re here.” He engulfed you in a tight hug and lifted you off the ground. “I was gonna give you 15 minutes before going after you but I got too worried” He squeezed you a bit tighter.

“I’m sorry, Changbin, my thoughts are too much for me today.” Your voice was a whisper.

He let go of you to look at you. His eyebrows were raised and eyes big. “Will you tell me what’s going on in there right now?”

You nodded. It was time.

He took your hand and pulled you inside, on the couch.

After you somehow explained to him what’s been going on in your mind, you felt extremely tired but a lot lighter. A few tears fell down your cheeks while you were talking. Changbin listened closely the entire time.

“Y/N, please promise me, that the next time you notice these thoughts, you immediately text me. What you’re thinking isn’t the reality, not even close. I love you, and I love all of you, no matter what you look like. What you look like isn’t what makes you worthy, it’s being yourself. And I think you’re pretty amazing… and I am of course very objective in saying that so you can believe me… it’s based on scientific evidence.”

There it was, his stupid sense of humor you loved so much. Even in a situation like this he managed to make you smile without much effort.

“Oh really? I’d like to see this evidence someday, please?”

“Uh yeah sure, but I need to do one thing first…” He inched closer to your face eyes scanning your face. Then he gently kissed you, his hands holding your cheeks like you were a precious gemstone.

[scenteddelusion5]

Yay requests open? If you don't wanna do this it's perfectly fine I understand!

It's an alastor x Fem reader who was his co-host in life

A Single Radio Wave

Alastor x fem co-host reader

Note: I love this idea!!!

Word count: 1977

The Radio Demon's reputation had spread far and wide in hell, yet it never spread beyond this retched place. Everyone in hell knew of the radio host, knew of his broadcasts and they were scared of him. Demons were intrigued and scared by radio's, they were the cursed items of that demon after all.

But up in heaven everyone looked forward to relaxing at home and listening to the old-timey device. After all, the Radio Angel's broadcasts were the hight of most people's already fantastical days. Everyone adored her, she was without a doubt the most loved angel in heaven; kind, sweet, intelligent, funny, witty, looks. She had it all. And yet, her amazing reputation never spread beyond the golden gates. This divide meant that neither one knew what their love was up to in dead. Still, they both looked back on their days together fondly.

It happened when Alastor's last co-host had been in an accident and they were looking for a new hire, that a knock came from the door. William, his intern opened it to reveal a charming young woman.

"Hey, I'm sorry to bother you but do you mind if I wait out the storm inside?" She asked and as if to help her cause, a thunder bolt struck at the top of his tower.

"Come in." Alastor walked up behind William and let the girl in. " We can't let a lovely young woman like you stand outside in the rain. Would you like a cup of joe? William was just making some."

"If I'm not intruding." She took of her drenched coat and sat down in a chair.

"Of course not." William ran off into the small kitchen while the radio host talked to her. "The name is Alastor, it's a pleasure to meet you." He held out his hand.

She shook it. "Y/n, Y/n L/n. And it's a pleasure to meet you too."

After William had left, the two were still talking at the table.

Y/n's eyes looked around the room. "So you're a radio host. How do you find it? Do you like it?"

"It's amazing, my dear. We have a few odd hours and I had to train my voice, but I quite like it." Alastor had been looking the girl up and down. She was very beautiful, had a good voice and they had an entertaining conversation. This Y/n had the potential to become his new co-host. "And what about you?"

"I... Was just fired today. My boss decided that a 'sweeter' face would pull more clients in. It's a dinner, what do my looks matter?!"

"The man sounds like a handful."

"Oh believe me, he is," she sighed.

"Hey," Alastor started, "how would you feel like starting a career as my co-host, the position just opened."

This surprised the woman. Female radio hosts weren't unheard of, however, they weren't at all common. There were also a lot of limitations put on them.

"I would love too but I don't think I would be any hood at it." She took a sip of her cup.

"I'm sure you'll be great." Alastor hyped her up. " How about you come in tomorrow for a practice round and if it suits you, you'll become a permanent employee?"

"You know what? Why not? I'll be here tomorrow." Y/n agreed.

" 7 am sharp starts the broadcast, be here at least half an hour before that. I'll see you tomorrow then, dear?"

"Yes, see you tomorrow."

And that's how Alastor had found his new co-host and future wife.

Not everyone was happy with Alastor's new coworker. Either people disagreed with having a female host all together or they were jealous that SHE was his new 'radio partner' as Alastor calls it. The man was considered a fine bachelor after all and girls all across New Orleans fawned over him.

During the first year of her employment, Y/n and Alastor grew closer and closer. Until one day, he popped the question.

"Y/n, I've known you for a year now and you are by far the most dazzling woman on earth. It would be an honour if you would give me the chance to court you." Alastor stared lovingly into her eyes as they lid up.

"Of course I want you to court me! You really know how to keep a lady waiting." She pulled him by the arm into a big hug.

His face adorned a bashful red hue while he brought his hand to pat her head. He truly was in love and it couldn’t feel better.

It didn't take long for him to pop the question after that and the two shared the news of their engagement to the whole city. Walking through the street, Y/n got a few jealous glares while on her way to her newly shared home.

Alastor was waiting on her in the kitchen making his mother's jambalaya. "And what was my favourite radio host up to?" He asked.

His fiancé, god he loved thinking about how she was HIS now, put a bag on the kitchen table and started rummaging through it. "You know that new shop that opened up down the street? I found this." She held up a little yellow romper.

"Dear, isn't it way too early to shop for baby clothes?" He chuckled picking up the small clothing article. "We aren't even married yet."

"I know Ally." She smiled at the very feminine and cutesy nickname she once called him and then just stuck. "But I'm ready, ready for our own perfect little family."

'Perfect'. Oh if only she knew, she knew what Alastor was up to while he was 'hunting'. But no, he will never show that side to her. He couldn’t imagine the look on her face, the heartbreak... No she was perfect and deserved only happiness and he would give her the world if she asked.

Their wedding was beautiful. Alastor cried seeing his wife in her wedding dress. They celebrated into the night and again when they got home. Alas, their marriage didn’t last for long.

During one of Alastor's 'hunt' in the woods he heard a bunch of dogs approaching. He ran and ran, and then, there was a gunshot.

Everything went white, then black and lastly red. Red? It was a sky. Looking around he saw a city filled with demons, he was in hell. Alastor saw his own reflection in a puddle, he looked different. His pretty dark hair and brown skin was replaced with red and grey, on top of his head stood fuzzy ears and antlers? Looking at his new appearance he wondered if Y/n would like it....

Y/n... Would he ever see her again? Probably not, she was perfect, his love would get into heaven while he was doomed to be away in this hellfire pit. But maybe, just maybe there was a chance she would be cast down too and if that were to happen, he had to made sure he was able to protect her. So, the Radio Demon was born. A demon willing to do anything to gain more power.

Years went by and Alastor thought about his wife every single day. Did she find out about his murders? Did she hate him for it? Did she become a cast out because of it?

After decennia of not getting a single sign of ever being reunited with Y/n, he gave up. That was, until the princess of hell got on television and told all of hell about her 'Happy Hotel' and her idea of rehabilitating sinners. It was impossible, still, his got told him to go there. Just in case. To prove to himself that he will NEVER see Y/n again.

Y/n was on her way back home. She was in a hurry knowing that her new husband would be home soon from his hunt. She was planning a surprise, having made custom baby shoes that had their names engraved but she hadn't been able to pack the gift. As she was running through the street, a car swirled. The last thing she remembered was the front of a Ford and screams.

Everything went white, then black and then blue. Looking around, she was on a golden pat that led to a golden gate. Was this heaven? Saint Peter was waiting by the gate and happily led Y/n in.

She had quickly found a new home in heaven; she started up her own radio show, decorated her house and made a few friends. Everything was ready for when her husband would join her but that day never came. Every day she laughed and joked around on the most beloved and popular radio broadcast in heaven and then went home crying about her husband and grieved the small and sweet family she would never have.

One day she was bold enough to visit the seraphim and ask about her Alastor. The answer that was given to her was devastating.

"I'm sorry but he doesn't belong in heaven."

That night, Y/n couldn't sleep, all she could do was cry.

Decennia went by and she had made peace with the fact that she would never see her husband again. That was until the princess of hell came up to heaven with the idea to rehabilitate sinners and the news came out about the yearly exterminations. Winners started to protest, most of them had family down there. What if they died because of heaven's heartless decision?

Y/n was haunted by the same fear. One night, she tried to sneak out to the golden gate and jump down but was promptly stopped by peter.

"Hell isn't a place for a lovely woman like you." He had said.

Y/n wasn't hearing any of it thought. She was determined to find her husband again. So instead, she started messing with her radio station.

"ALLY!!! PLEASE ANSWER ME!!! Please." She sobbed. "Please be, alive! Alastor I love YOU!!!"

That night, Alastor sat on the hotel's balcony reading a book when his microphone started acting up.

"A-..... M.... ase... v.. O!!!"

Strange. If it hadn't been decennia since he last heard her, he had recognized his wife's voice in the glitchy fragment, he, however, didn't. As he was checking his microphone, he got called over by Rosie and the other cannibals that were training for the battle.

It was the next day, Y/n pulled herself out of bed, changed and made her way to her radio tower. She had to use this broadcast to spread more awareness about the exterminations.

Alastor woke up that faithful morning from her microphone. A broadcast came from it, but he wasn't in his radio tower? And it was a female voice? His eyes fluttered open and really started listening to what was being said.

"It's a sunny day as usual here in heaven. A small chance of clouds in the late afternoon but those will be swept away fast."

Alastor knew that voice, he was sure of it. It was his wife, his beloved wife, broadcasting from heaven. He could finally hear his love again.

"On to the news! I think we all heard about it around now, but during the trail with Charlie Morningstar about the Hazbin Hotel, it came out that heaven has been exterminating the human souls down in hell. Your loved ones could be gone... Forever... Winners are demonstrating around the holy palace, come with us! Come down and stand help us stand against this injustice! I'm going and so should you!"

And she was fighting for him. She was probably so scared that he would be dead. He would do anything to find her again and if he had to fight heaven, he would do it.

The Radio Demon gained a new confidence that day from a single radio wave that made it through to hell.

The end

Note: I know that the fragment would be more than a single radio wave, it just sounds cool.

Masterlist/request guidelines

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

You mentioned how you never expected coming back to NRC to teach. What made you make the decision to do so?

If he doesn't scare you, no evil thing will.

A thoughtful look had clouded Crewel’s features. He lacked his usual fierceness, the red-hot fire he often lashed upon students.

“When I graduated Night Raven College, teaching was the last thing on my mind. The idea of spending my life surrounding by inexperienced, yapping pups was not appealing in any way.

“I had a successful career in the fashion industry all set up. This was no thanks due to my own talents, but also the connections I had made through my fourth year internship. I was quickly picked up by a high-end fashion company as one of their new designers. Happily employed… for a while.”

“What changed?” Your question was tinged with concern.

“Nothing did. And that’s the problem, pup. My aesthetic sense was as sharp as ever, but the longer I worked there, the more I felt as though I was lacking something. That some part of myself was not being fulfilled. I became ravenous for something whose form I did not know.

“Then came the day I was assigned to mentor a new intern. They were a mousy, unconfident thing. Asking many questions, shrinking away when I scolded them. They could hardly stitch together a skirt without their hands shaking! I was not happy with the arrangements and tried several times to pass them off to colleagues. No such luck.

“In spite of that rocky start, their talent was able to blossom quite beautifully. The intern was putting out designs that sold out overnight, dreaming up designs the rest of us couldn’t fathom. They were soon hired by that brand. I felt that hole in my heart recede, and in its place, pride for their accomplishments.

“It happened at a company-wide holiday celebration. My mentee from before—now a coworker—came up and expressed their gratitude to me. ‘Without Crewel-senpai, I couldn’t have come this far! You should consider taking on more students. They would learn a lot from you.’

“That’s when I realized what I had been seeking all that time. A place where I would be able to see consistent change and growth… That would be the very same place I had graduated from.

“Not long after that, I submitted my letter of resignation and returned to school to earn my teaching degree. From there, the rest was history.”

His laugh was a soft yet airy, buoyant with nostalgia.

You couldn’t recall when you had last seen him this way. So soft.

"You could say that teaching called out to me,” Crewel shrugged, as though the answer were simple. “I answered that call.”

[rott1ngbra1n]

First off! I wanna go ahead and drop some fun art stuff I’ve been doing as I’ve been watching Dragons Rising season 2, which I’ve been loving!

I did a version of Arin before but it wasn’t my favorite so a redo! More AlleyCat stuff and obligatory Cole, because I love him.

I do have more Ninjago Art I want to do (Still need to finish that Cole and Morro friend piece-) and I have some other fandom art I also want to do, but I’ll explain more under the cut as well as why I’ve been gone or a bit less active everywhere. This is optional you do not have to read under the cut!

TW// Transphobia

For those unaware I am a trans man, I go by a different name: both online and IRL (online for privacy’s sake), I also work as a barista due to being a college student and needing to save money for moving away from my own transphobic parents. That’s a whole other story. But at work there was a coworker of mine who was consistently transphobic towards me whenever we worked together. It had been going on since June of last year (The irony of it starting during pride month made me and my friends laugh) but it escalated after I returned from New York, so much so I had to go to management.

Myself. Management had been informed by my best friend (who also works with me) about it and was told it was “gossip”. Ok. Sure- So I informed management of the new incidents and was told I had options, the first being to have a meeting with me, the transphobe, and my manager to discuss the issues. I said no so my manager went to the DM to find another solution. To give even more context, the transphobe couldn’t even be transphobic to my face most times it was always told behind my back to my best friend.

That’s how I knew my manager talked to the transphobe one on one, cause the transphobe right after the meeting went to said best friend. Telling her “not to tell me as she didn’t want to start drama” Cool, I feel so cool. I was very mad, went back to my manager with it, had that meeting with myself, the transphobe, and manager. Where my emotions were downplayed and the transphobe said she had “never interacted with a trans person before and didn’t know what she said was wrong.” OK.

SURE.

After that we assumed it was over, my manager made an incident report, but it didn’t stop the transphobe still kept talking behind my back to others. Despite me talking respectfully of her. More context all the talking behind my back happened at work while on the clock. After a while I just went about my day, then Ethics and Compliance called. They spoke to everyone involved, including me and I relayed more about my testimony. They said they would be investigating and I assumed it would take a while, then finally. I was informed that the transphobe was in fact fired.

This whole situation, along with other personal stuff going on with me, caused so much stress. To the point I tended to fallback into habits I had thought I fixed, mainly regarding my physical health. Even at points hating myself for just existing and having been born wrong.

I’m thankfully doing so much better now and have recently gotten diagnosed with Autism, something I knew I had but didn’t fully understand for a while. I’ve been getting better existing in a world knowing the people that are my blood hate me, knowing that eventually, I will never be able to be loved by my parents or sister. I have friends and coworkers who support me and I want to support other people in this community.

With that said I’m back to making more art! I’m building a portfolio for animation and to intern next year, I also will be trying to post more animations to here when I finish them! I also will still be active in the Ninjago fandom, I’ve loved this show since it came out in 2011 y’all can pry it from my cold dead hands-

But I do want to make more original work, I want to do more Star Wars work, QSMP art and animations, and more Musical Theater art whether it be Broadway or Indie productions. I hope people enjoy what I make, especially some of my original characters as I’ve gotten to work on Cybernetic more thanks to my animation class. You’ll see more of it as we go!

Thank you if you’ve read this and thank you for supporting me!

[she-karev]

Maya meets Andrew DeLuca (Maya x Carina Sweet Imagine)

Previous Part Here

Age Rating: 12+

Chapters: Three of Three

Fandom: Station 19

Ship: Maya Bishop x Carina DeLuca

Canon Episode: Season 4 Episode 3

AN: Here’s the final chapter guys! Let me know what you think and like and reblog.

Summary: Maya and Andrew talk and get along to Carina’s joy.

Words: 885

April 6th, 2020

Maya sips her coffee sitting in the middle of the table with Carina at one end and her brother, Andrew at the other as they enjoy their breakfast. The conversation shifted to Andrew’s first day at work.

“Wait so you didn’t correct them when they thought you were an attending? I’m not judging I’m just…no I’m judging just a little bit.” Maya says honestly causing Caring to laugh, “Don’t be mad, I tell people what their doing wrong for a living.”

Andrew chuckles amused, “I don’t blame you. None of them actually called me an attending when I came from the scene. I told them it was my first day and they took it and ran with it. I was busy with the traumas, and it probably didn’t help that I stalled college for four years and looked older than the rest of my class.”

“It didn’t help no.” Maya eats a piece of the French toast that causes her to moan at the deliciousness, “Okay that is better than sex.”

Carina scoffs at that with a smile, “That sounds like a challenge.”

Andrew chuckles lightly at how predictable his sister, “And now I lost my appetite.”

Carina rolls her eyes and tells Maya, “Pay no attention to him, he’s skittles when it comes to sex because he isn’t having any.”

Maya chuckles and corrects her, “It’s skittish, skittles is candy.”

“And my sister’s insult turned around on her, this is a good morning so far.” He says with a grin sipping his coffee and continues to talk to Maya, “So a female fire captain that is very impressive I’m sure your coworkers love you over there.”

Maya groans, “Not at first but then they eventually saw my leadership skills after a few bumps and a bear in the road.”

“She told me about that too, she said it was at the pit where she first saw you. She was with a patient, and you were carrying a nose you ran with from the woods at the time. I gotta say it sounds really badass.” Andrew says impressed.

Maya smiles at that compliment, “Well thank you, it was pretty badass. I also helped contain a bomb inside a hospital and delivered a baby during a blizzard but I’m not bragging.”

Carina grins, “It sounds like you are, and I was the one who helped you deliver that baby, without me calling you you would have dropped that little girl on her head.” Andrew laughs at that with Maya smiling knowing it’s true.

“I don’t do well with babies, not all of us have to deliver them from vaginas. Firefighters are usually trained to put out fires and break down doors with axes but that part I leave to you guys.” Maya points out.

“I guess it’s not a requirement for the Olympics either?” Andrew asks jokingly.

“No.” Maya says, “And if it was, I would probably be dead last which would be a first in my life.”

“I would win the gold.” Carina boasts causing her brother and girlfriend to laugh.

Maya’s phone beeps causing her to groan, “I gotta go my shift starts, I’m so sorry.”

Andrew shakes his head, “Don’t worry go save lives.”

“You too, it was really nice to meet you.”

Andrew grins, “It was really nice meeting you too. I can see why you’re the longest relationship my sister has ever had but it wouldn’t take much time to exceed the standard she set before you.”

Carina grins amused, “Again please ignore him.” Carina stands up as Maya approaches her and they kiss, “Be safe Bella.”

“You too.” Maya steps back and looks at the siblings with a grin, “I’ll see you both later?”

Andrew nods with a smile, “Absolutely, I would love to hear more about this baby in a blizzard and bomb in a hospital story.”

Maya chuckles, “I have plenty more stories to tell and hopefully more time to share them.” Maya leaves with an I love you to Carina who says it as well. The door closes as Maya leaves and the DeLuca’s are left in the apartment where Carina looks at her brother with an anxious look while he finishes his breakfast calmly.

“Well…?” Carina asks, causing him to look up.

“Well, what?”

Carina gives a ‘really?’ look at her idiot brother, “Did you like her?”

“Oh…she was okay.” Andrew says dismissively causing Carina to smack him with the dish towel over him teasing her. He chuckles and speaks seriously, “I like her, I really do she has my approval not that you need it but still. She is perfection as you said.”

“I know.” Carina states with a smile and does a little happy dance, her brother chuckles, “I’m really glad you two met.”

Andrew smiles, “Me too. I’m really happy for you.”

“Thank you, that means a lot to me…and you’ll be happy too Andrea.” He looks up surprised she’s turning this on him, “Just give it time.”

He sighs but nods gratefully, “Thanks…Do you have anymore of that toast?”

Carina chuckles at her brother’s hungry attitude but heads to the kitchen to serve him another slice happy the two most important people of her life finally met and love each other almost as much as she loves them.

[fingertipsfingertipsfingertiiips]

Working as a grocery store pick-up shopper during the height of the pandemic was.... I'm still not recovered, I think. I would like to rant a wee bit here. It's my tumblr and I'll do as I wish with it.

I worked for Kroger at the time, and if you know anything about it, at the time Kroger was the last grocery company to add Covid pay and the first to take it away. For (I think) two months, I had an extra dollar added to my $10.50/hr paycheck. Then they started cutting hours so they wouldn't have to pay for our insurance. All the while, I had people aggressively coughing on me because I was wearing a mask. I had a grown man throw a can of yams at my head because we were out of the name brand yams he wanted. A man raised his fist to threaten me over cans of Pepsi, we didn't have any because of an aluminum shortage. Someone's grandmother slapped me because of toilet paper. One of my coworkers got in a fight with a customer because of jalapeños.

When coworkers started dropping from Covid, the rest of us had to pick up the slack. At one point, 14 out of our 18 person department were out for weeks. I worked 16 hour shifts for some of the rudest and most ungrateful customers I've ever seen in 12+ years of retail experience.

In the summer of 2020, they shut off the water fountains. My direct manager got us a big pack of water and put it in the back of the order fridge for us. Some of us were running orders out to cars in 100F+ heat, so we put some of the bottles in the freezers, too. Upper management saw these waters as some kind personal insult and threw them away, threatening us all with writeups and even firings if we were caught with personal water bottles on the sales floor. OSHA was called and they put a stop to that bullshit, but not before one of my elderly coworkers collapsed from heat and dehydration.

At one point, my cool manager got promoted to store manager, and our department got an outside hire to replace her. This woman is easily one of the worst people I have ever worked with. She was rude, she would micromanage, she would bully the differently abled. She would fat shame, was racist and homophobic, and generally aggressive to other women. One time, I was helping a coworker prep an order to go out. We were chatting about death in the Victorian era, a special interest of mine. I got excited and maybe I started rambling when my bitch manager yelled at me to "shut the fuck up, you're being annoying." I told her to fuck off, and we were pulled into a meeting about it, but ultimately nothing happened to her. I refused to sign the writeup that came to me later.

Due to this manager's negligence, I fell and chipped a tailbone in February 2021. She was supposed to salt the walkway that leads from our department to the customer pick-up area. At 5:30 that morning, as she was yelling at her staff (myself included), she didn't notice that I was sprawled out in the parking lot, having slipped on black ice. I would have hit my head as well, had I not been wearing my hair in a low bun. The bun acted as an airbag. I landed pretty hard, and I think it scared the customer. He got out of his truck and shuffled over to me to help me up. He even tipped me $10, which was super nice. I limped back in, and before I could say anything, bitch manager yelled at me for taking to long, shoved an order cart at me and barked at me to do the next one. I told her I fell, probably too quietly because I was hurting. She ignored me so I yelled it. She stopped to look at me, registered what I said, and then it dawned on her to ask if I was OK. I filled out an IR and a worker's comp claim. I did the drug screening, later that day I had an xray. I chipped a tailbone. They gave me 2 weeks off, I think it was paid but it's hard to remember because the doctor gave me codeine. One morning I'm laying on the floor on a yoga mat and bitch manager calls me. She doesn't ask me how I'm doing, she wants to know if I can cover a shift. I tell her no, hang up and then send her a picture of my black and blue ass crack. I should have sued Kroger. Sometimes I wonder if I still could. I still have back pain. I still struggle with some yoga poses or sitting on certain chairs.

The final straw seems so small in retrospect. I had endured so much while working for kroger for 8 years. Bitch manager was causing me such anxiety that I had to change my meds to deal with her. I was getting the produce for an order. The system timed you, the goal was to take less than 20 seconds for each item scanned in to the cart. I had grabbed some tomatoes and was weighing them up, counting the seconds out loud to myself to keep time (a time blindness coping skill I've had since childhood) when she walked past me. I heard her say "retard" under her breath. This wasn't the first time I've been called that in my life, but the first time I've ever heard it from a grown woman. She had been bitching at me about something earlier that day, and my deodorant failed from the stress. She walked past me again and stopped to look at me. She nearly shouted, making sure everyone around would hear, "You stink. Did you shower today?" And then smirked. I didn't reply. I didn't hit her, or yell, or throw tomatoes at her. I thought about doing all of it. I thought about knocking her to the ground and ripping her tacky extensions out of her scalp. I thought about all the nasty mean things I could say to her. Instead, I put down my handheld and told her I would be right back. I went to the back room, hung up my apron, grabbed my purse, and walked out. I didn't clock out, I let them figure out what time I left. I made sure I was paid for my time. She called me an hour later, and I didn't answer. She called 6 more times. My previous manager, the cool one later told me that the store manager was stoked about my leaving. "Out with the old, in with the new."

There was a mass exodus, nine people left after I did. Four of them followed me to my new job. We all got forklift certified in the same week for a company that offered profit sharing and $4 extra per hour for covid pay, plus $3 extra per hour on weekends. It's not the greatest place to work. Sometimes it's terrible, it's still retail after all. But it's better. Kroger is not a great company, and my store was one of the worst places. I know I'm not the only person with horror stories about it. I still hear, "we're all in this together" in my nightmares. I can't spend more than 20 minutes in a grocery store at a time. I have many more from before the pandemic hit, the pandemic was just the worst of it.

That's my rant. If anyone read this, thank you. If you want to add your own stories, please do! "Essential worker" feels more like "disposable worker".

[limerenceheart]

daunting - yan! blade

a/n - blade was the winner for my halloween poll but i know it's not halloween yet but it's better to post now for me. This drabble is loosely based on Toilet Bound Hanako Kun.

"Don't peer too close into the mirror."

"I've heard that everyone see a different person." "Are you sure it's a ghost? It might be a demon instead."

The countless rumours that spread around since starting your first day at a museum. Cleaning toilets weren't part of your job description considering you were just a tour guide but the other cleaners or even your supervisors kept dropping out of the duties regarding HW31.

HW31, the first toilet of the museum, when a new fire alarm system was introduced along with new fire exits being made, HW31 was sectioned off from the museum and a newer unit replaced the original one.

HW31 was meant to be forgotten forever but something about the year budget being stretched too much made the set of toilets become the staff one.

A coworker broke a rule and didn't properly snuff out their lit cigarette in the restroom shortly before it became a blazing inferno of heat. The fire made the bathroom unusable and all the staff still hold a grudge against the fired employee considering HW31 have become the replacement.

No one wanted to enter the forgotten restroom knowing that dust and cobwebs lurks in every hidden corner, most of the dust landed onto the team that came along to install new water pipes and fix the electrics.

The work still wasn't done though, the toilets needed to be scrub and the mirror needed to be polish but no one was getting the job done because of him.

Him.

The ghost that lurks HW31.

The ghost or whatever his name was started to get on your nerves though, the non existent presence that created a dent in your work schedule.

The ghost apparently scare the shit out of the last visitors before being shut down, the incidents was decades ago so no one knew much but a retired elderly cleaner recalled how the duo of children came screaming out with tears running down their cheeks.

Unfortunately, her words got taken too seriously so you volunteered to become the experiment for this cleaning task, just a few hours and the whole thing will be over.

"You have to clean after the museum closes."

This is how you found yourself cleaning the floors with a mob during the late hours of evening, the whole team have gone home expect for the security guards.

If you could finish by midnight, you would be happy.

The foul weather was taking a toll on you though, hearing the pitter patter sounds of the rain reached your ears from the murky windows and not long afterwards, a crackling sound too.

A thunder storm and you needed to ride back home.

Great.

The predicament spur your hands to move the mop in long and wide strikes.

"Ghost, stop being lazy and give me a hand."

A demand spoken aloud in a rude tone.

Who cares, he wasn't real but you became alarmed when the lights afterwards started flickering.

"Bitch, say what?"

You spun around towards the masculine voice to find a tall man with chiseled features and highlighted strands of medium length hair.

Where did he come from? The insult completely ignored since he wasn't a familiar face and the door should be the only exit and entrance.

You was going to ask but the lights stopped flickering and seeing a closer look of his appearance just made things more strange.

The clothes look like from a different era, his skin was far too pale almost ghost like and his eyes were red.

A shade of red that made him looked too daunting.

Almost like he was the devil's advocate.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA for ruining my shitty boss' reputation and potentially discouraging good teachers from working at a socioeconomically disadvantaged school?

(apologies, this is a long one)

Last year, I (24F - then 23) got a teaching job at the public high school I graduated from. I worked under a vice principal (late 30s/early 40s), who I will call VP. I was hired alongside three other first year teachers, but I was the only one who was an alumni of the school. As a former student at the high school, and as someone who lives in the area the high school services, I know that the area (and school) have a bad reputation that isn't deserved (it's mostly racism and prejudice imo). The teachers are very supportive and have a strong sense of community with the students, and generally work to provide opportunities for underprivileged kids. I wouldn't be where I am today without their support, and they were super happy to have me back as well and work with me in a professional capacity - and I was excited to do the same.

Now, my VP and principal had been working at that school site for the past few years - long after I graduated - so I don't have the same connection with them, nor they with me. VP initially offered me a temp position, then it got switched to a permanent position as the teacher whose position I took decided they're not coming back.

So I always felt that the VP was picking on me for some reason, but never really brought it up because I didn't want to seem like I was complaining at work as the newbie. He would do twice a week walk-in observations of my classroom, while the other first year teachers got walk-in observations twice every three months. He would also have meetings with me during my prep time 4 out of 5 days of the week - meaning I barely got any prep (once again, he would not do this with the other first year teachers). He also frequently forgot my name and would write me up for ridiculous reasons (he once wrote me up because a student farted in my class and I didn't reprimand the student! What the fuck do I say to that?!).

It got to the point where, even though I wasn't complaining to my coworkers, they noticed. Other teachers brought up how oddly and unfairly he was treating me, and even set up a meeting with our union representative on my behalf. At the meeting, I brought up these grievances, and VP downplayed them all and claimed any perceived slight was not intentional, and since most of the issues weren't in writing (except for the numerous write-ups) it was his word against mine. The meeting ended with us both apologizing to each other, and really nothing else happened. His weird treatment of me actually escalated after the union rep meeting; he once came into my classroom and yelled at me in front of my students for letting a student go to the bathroom, and also demanded I work outside of my contracted work hours (which I refused, and he made it clear he didn't like that).

Needless to say, all of the other teachers in my department and myself were all wondering why the fuck does he not like me, and we found out why recently. During one of his tirades late last school year, he told me (verbally - no written proof) that he didn't want to hire me and only did so because the other teachers on the hiring committee insisted upon it. He told me to thank my lucky stars that my position was the one that "happened" to become permanent. I told my coworkers, and one of them (whose wife works at the school district's HR department) informed me that shortly after I was hired VP was in a super long meeting with HR arguing over a new hire - which we now guess was likely me. It also came out that the two other first year teachers frequently go to bars with him and play golf.

Long story short, earlier this week he told me that he's firing me so that he can instead transfer in another teacher from a different site - one that, you guessed it, he goes to bars with and plays golf. This guy has a bad reputation in the district, though, for generally being a shitty guy and an even shittier teacher.

When the news broke to my department, it quickly spread to the rest of the school. A lot of the older, more established teachers at my school became really outraged, apparently complained to the union and the principal about it, union said they can't really do anything because nothing wrong was officially committed, principal stood behind VP's decision, yadda yadda, and a bunch of teachers have since made it clear they are also not returning next year. Resignation notices, sudden retirement declarations, requests to transfer to other schools in the district - you name it. A good 85% of the teachers at the school are leaving suddenly, including influential pillars of the school's community, people who have been there since the school was founded.

Here is the main WIBTA:

Last year, I was also working on getting a Master's degree in education, and I accomplished that. Yahoo, yay, etc. Due to the nature of my thesis and Master's program, I worked closely with a few professors of education, who - in turn - have a bunch of connections with various big-name people in the area. Also, over summer break, my thesis was good enough that they toured me around a bit, and I got to make acquaintances with other notable people with notable connections. Once again, in an effort to seem professional, I didn't complain or really reveal any of my lukewarm feelings about my boss, but now, as my professors continue to want to have me showboat my thesis around, they keep asking how my work is. I'm going to tell them that I'm no longer going to be working at that school (partially to be truthful, partially to ask them to be references) - but moreso, I'm thinking of telling them how shitty my boss was. If I do that, knowing them, they'll likely tell some of the many people they know, who will likely ruin this man's whole career. However, these professors also teach teacher credential classes and trainings, and I'm worried they might discourage future teachers from working at that school. I don't want to doom the students of this school to shitty teachers who don't support them all because of a shitty vice principal.

So, WIBTA for complaining about my shitty boss to some influential people I know and possibly discourage teachers from working at that school?

What are these acronyms?

[macgyvermedical]

Hi Mac! Haven't got a specific question about your mental health issues, but would gladly read anything you'd like to share about it. Wish you the best with it, it sure sounds like a combination of things that would feed into each other.

Thank you!

Not entirely sure how to answer but will do my best.

The symptoms I have:

Irritability/agitation (severe without medication)

Visual hallucinations (mild without medication)

Anxiety (severe without medication)

Delusions (moderate without medication)

The irritability is the most difficult to deal with, followed by the delusions (which cause a lot of the anxiety, cause they're usually something like I'm being shot at or I have a severe health problem no one can know about or my coworkers are trying to get me fired), followed in a distant last place by the visual hallucinations, which happen mostly at night.

Despite being diagnosed with psychotic depression, I do not feel like I have the depression part. I not infrequently want to die but I don't actually feel depressed about it? It's complicated. It's more really severe agitation where I feel like I have to hold myself back from doing something deadly to myself and that's really difficult sometimes.

While I'm having a delusion I have trouble understanding that that's what's happening, but I'm lucky in that I usually have an inkling that what I'm thinking is not entirely right, even if I don't know what to do with that inkling or even recognize that that's what it is.

For example, I tend to feel the presence of someone else in my house even when there's no one there. When I used to live alone I would hear footsteps at night and combined with feeling a presence be convinced someone was there. My brain fleshed that out to mean that someone was living in my apartment that I could never "catch". I would go look and not be able to to find them, but I could always think of a reason why.

I knew that since I could never catch the person anyone I told would think I was crazy. So I didn't tell anyone at the time. But it wasn't because it was ridiculous that someone else would be living in my 500 sqft apartment with me without me knowing. It was because other people would think I was crazy if I said anything.

More recently, while I was at the hospital, I thought my wife had put me there so that she would have someone to take care of. But by that point I realized I wasn't sure I could just trust everything that came into my head so I wasn't sure what to think about that, even though it was really hard to get the thought out of my head. Plus my brain could always find a reason why everyone else was going along with her, even if they don't make sense now.

My hallucinations are mostly at night, like I said. I see shadows that aren't there and I see things run across the road if I'm driving in the dark. This really isn't a problem unless I'm driving at night. They don't scare me but they do make it harder and less safe to drive.

The anxiety was the first thing I sought help for, and an SSRI worked for me, but didn't get rid of the irritability/agitation. I then went on a third generation antipsychotic called aripiprazole, which worked amazingly well for the irritability, except that I gained 50lb and my cholesterol and blood sugar went up pretty significantly within about a year. I switched to a different 3rd generation and nothing changed, so I switched to a first generation, lost 5lb and my numbers went back to normal pretty much a month later.

The first generation antipsychotic haloperidol was also the first time I realized that the third generation meds were doing very little for my actual psychosis symptoms. For the first time in at least 5 (but probably closer to 15) years, I was thinking more clearly and making better decisions. I had an easier time prioritizing things. I wasn't distracted by hallucinations and I suddenly just didn't have delusions or strange thoughts to deal with. I no longer felt the presence of someone who wasn't there. Plus the agitation was cut way down.

My wife says it was like I did a complete 180 in how easy it was to talk to me and for us to make decisions together once I was on the haloperidol.

I am still waiting on my mix of meds to be more correct (haloperidol makes me really sleepy at doses that take care of the psychosis), especially when combined with clonidine (which I take for agitation) and gabapentin (which I take for anxiety). I am also waiting on counseling to really start (I'm only getting it about once a month right now because of scheduling and availability issues).

But yeah. That's kind of my experience right now.

[misscorn]

Day 4 Secret/Sky

something short and silly for @sihjrweek to keep me from getting burnt out

***

Kisa was impressed with Ritsu’s speed and efficiency as the ‘newbie’ (not so new anymore given it was well over a year later, but he was still the newest - and it was fun to watch his face get red with frustration whenever they called him that) raced through his work to try to get all of it done before five. 

“Where’s the fire, Ri-chan?” Kisa asked. “You might actually make a deadline at this rate!” He added with a good natured laugh. It wasn’t odd to see Ritsu hard at work, he had more than proven himself to be ambitious and diligent, but it was because of those qualities that Ritsu didn’t often object to staying behind later than the rest of the crew.

“I just have somewhere to be this evening, that’s all.” Ritsu said, not looking away from his work. 

“Ooh, I see, you and Takano-san have a hot date?” Kisa asked, just trying to make conversation. Said Demon-Editor-In-Chief was currently out of the room and Kisa figured he’d take the opportunity to catch up on a little bit of gossip!

However, that question made Ritsu’s entire workflow freeze. 

“Excuse me?” Ritsu said, looking toward Kisa. Surely Ritsu had heard him incorrectly, right? That would be an entirely inappropriate joke to make. Kisa was joking, wasn’t he?

Kisa blinked at the icy cold reaction. “You know, do you two have, like, dinner reservations or something?” He reiterated.

“Kisa-san, I’ve told you not to pry into their personal lives before.” Hatori scolded from across the way. 

“I think it’s a perfectly normal question to ask your friend and coworker.” Kisa pouted. “Especially when the results of date night so drastically affect our boss! Remember last time Takano-san went too long without one? When Ri-chan went on that business trip without him? It was like Hell on Earth here! Oh, no pressure though, Ri-chan, just have fun!” Kisa turned his attention back toward Ritsu, giving him a big smile. 

“He looks like he’s going to faint…” Mino spoke up, his smile taking on a nervous edge as he watched Ritsu carefully to make sure that he didn’t topple over. 

“You-You all knew?” Ritsu choked out, looking between his three coworkers frantically as a sense of horror grasped his heart. 

Kisa blinked. “...Was it supposed to be some kind of big secret?” He asked with an innocent tilt of his head. 

…

“R-Ri-chan?!”

“I’ll go get him some water.”

“Someone should probably let Takano-san know that their plans tonight might need to be canceled…”

That was the commotion Takano came back to, walking into the office with a frown on his face. He was about to demand why he and Ritsu’s plans would need to be canceled - and then he noticed Ritsu on the floor with Kisa next to him fanning his face with a piece of printer paper.

“I told you to mind your business, Kisa-san.” Hatori scolded as he passed Takano to go retrieve the water he had promised. 

“How was I supposed to know he’d pass out like this?!” Kisa demanded, fanning more frantically to try to get Ritsu’s red face to return to a normal color. 

“What the hell happened?!” Takano demanded as he rushed to Ritsu’s side. Kisa quickly jumped up and out of the way when seeing his boss on the warpath.

“It wasn’t my fault!” Kisa insisted.

“Ritsu, hey, look at me.” Takano cupped one of his flushed cheeks, trying to rouse him back to consciousness. 

Ritsu blinked his eyes open, but his mortification was replaced with anger as his eyes landed on Takano.

“It’s your fault…” Ritsu gritted his teeth.

“What? What’s my fault?” Takano frowned and furrowed his eyebrows. “Are you sick?” He pressed a hand against Ritsu’s forehead, prepared to take him to the doctor. He knew Ritsu passing out couldn’t be because Ritsu was overworking and undereating again. Takano monitored those things very carefully now.

Ritsu smacked his hand away and reached up to grab Takano by the collar of his shirt. 

“IT’S YOUR FAULT THEY ALL KNOW WE’RE DATING, YOU PERVERT!” Ritsu shouted.

A few moments of silence passed, letting Ritsu’s words echo against the walls.

“...Well. Now all of Marukawa knows. Idiot.” Takano said. 

Ritsu nearly passed out a second time due to overwhelming rage.