#and then in hopefully a week or two i’ll be going 2 the mall! my bro said to do a preliminary check around the shops/bookstore +

[gothsuguru]

gonna try japanese food for the first time this week :3

[lightlycareless]

Hellooooo I hope u are doing well !! I found ur blog a couple weeks ago I love ur posts😙

I was wondering what it would be like for Y/N and Naoya going thru their first baby's pregnancy. I think it's cute how for the first child they have to get used to mood swings, cravings, baby shopping and all those couple stuff haha. But of course only if u want to !!

Hello!!

Aww, thank you so much!! Welcome to the club, we have only naoya. Enjoy your stay 😏

I'm sorry it took me a while to get back to you, I was quite overwhelmed by other requests, I still am lol, but I manage to write a little something I hope you like!

I kind of went through all of those things, but I do feel like writing more about y/n's first pregnancy with Naoya :> there's just so much agnjakshgjakshgjaghjia

Anyways, here are the warnings: fluff. you're pregnant with your first baby. naoya is super happy. indulgent. you know hehe. but maybe a tiny bit of angst at the end.

related work: sequel 1. sequel 2. sequel 3.

happy reading!!

Their first pregnancy would have to be the most special, loving, adorable, spoiled moment of their life!!!

Not to say that the others weren't, but this was the first time… experiencing everything, you know? So obviously, they couldn’t just sit back and not enjoy this moment to the fullest, taking it to the extreme, as they always did.

It is for granted that whatever Naoya does it will always be to please you; whatever request, no matter how big or small, he is at your command and you should take advantage of that, as he’d frequently insist. 

Starting with your cravings, not that he didn’t do that before, but now he’s just a bit more cautious, taking an extra step just to be sure.

“Honey, I think I want something—”

“Sweet, sour? Or spicy perhaps? Maybe a combination of all? I got all kinds of snack for you to choose from, but if that doesn’t work, I can go out and get —”

“I haven't said anything yet, Naoya!” You chuckle. “I think I just want something sweet, that's all.”

“Chocolate? Cake? Cookies? Gummies? Ice cream? Mochi?” He goes on, and you remain silent, thinking…

“...maybe a bit of everything?” you pout. “And perhaps something else too…”

“And something else too.” he repeats with a smirk before placing his hand over your belly. “Sounds like a plan for my princesses’”

“Stop saying that, it sounds like you already know their gender!”

“I don’t, I promise.” Naoya kisses your cheek. “I’m just guessing, that’s all.”

“Well, if our baby ends up being a girl I’ll take it as if you did know, and I’ll be very angry with you…” you frown, he chuckles.

“Hopefully not too angry to eat.” Obviously, you don’t mean any of those words as seen in the way you quickly hug him, pressing kisses across his face as you declare that regardless of the baby’s gender, you’re very happy to be forming a family with him, as well as how eager you were to finally welcome your little dumpling in your arms.

Followed by dates, outings, or however you want to call them: those are definitely Naoya's favorite of all. 

From making the most of the little time he has with you between missions and clan responsibilities, to wanting to show off how happy he can make the future mother of his children, once again there is no doubt that whatever you set your eyes on, it's yours, no questions asked—clothes, furniture, food, pastimes, anything; don't worry your pretty little head about anything, he’ll make it work.

“Oh, that crib is so cute…” you’d say once stopping before a furniture store, the two strolling around the mall right after getting ice cream from that one place you wanted to try out for the longest, but haven’t been able to due to Naoya’s… unwanted commitments. 

Your hand is tightly holding his because of that, almost as if you were afraid of letting go and losing him. Moments like this make you all warm, keeping them close to your heart.

“...But we already have one.”

“And who said we couldn't have two?” Naoya responds, more than ready to step into the store and buy the crib—he doesn’t care if the bedroom is fully decorated at that point, you want it, you’ll have it.

“No, Naoya! We can't take it!” You’d tug at his arm immediately after. “We can't just have two cribs because we want to!”

“Who says so?” He raises an eyebrow. “If anything, it’s only necessary—the estate is too big to just have one bedroom; I can’t have you walking from one edge to the other just to put our dumpling to bed, nor will I allow it.”

“Don’t be silly… that’s not even a real issue…”

…

…

…

“... but if we get another, does  that mean we’ll have more rooms to decorate?”

“Naturally.”Naoya smiles. “Oooh, then can we get that other crib as well?” you cheer, gesturing at the one right beside it. “I’ve been wanting to do something with yellow, I feel like it could fit in nicely! I got so many ideas too, aahh I can’t wait to show you!!”

The Zen’in and your family would eventually come to think that maybe Naoya’s bottomless spending when it comes to doting you, as well as your willingness to enable his behavior might not be the best approach…

But unfortunately, your husband doesn’t care, quickly shutting down any unrequited comments before they came your way, focusing instead on nurturing the happy, safe family he always dreamed of having with you.

If you wanted to have matching outfits for you and the baby every day, then Naoya would take you to every store necessary, indifferent if it was on the other side of the country, or give you his credit card to order online, all depending on your mood, since pregnancy made you far more exhausted, as expected.

Which of course, Naoya was dutifully prepared for, showing how serious he was in preserving your wellbeing by arranging weekly, if not daily spa days for you to simply relax and unwind, only the best masseurs were allowed to tend to his wife—the slightest mistake would be met by his reproach, which thankfully rarely occurred since he mostly liked to be involved himself (jealous, perhaps?)

Your absolutely favorite moment had to be when he stood behind you, placing his hands just beneath your belly to relieve pressure from the baby by carefully lifting it, a gesture that while simple, made you just about the happiest woman in the world.

As well as the most miserable when he had to stop.

“You’re the worst husband!” you’d cry, pouting as he eventually retreated. Naoya tries his best to not laugh at the adorable way you complained, but he could only do so much when it came to you. “Why would you even do that if you’re going to leave?”

“I didn’t mean to, princess. But I gotta do things too, you know?”

“...Like what?” You frown. “What could possibly be more important than me??”

“Nothing, ever.” He smiles, carefully wrapping his arms around you and resting them over your stomach. “But you do know you can go to the bedroom to rest, right? You don't have to worry about any duties or such, our baby comes first. And if anyone dares bother you, just let me know—they’ll get what’s coming to them…”

“... I know, I know, but… I just wanted to be with you the most I could before you left.” you eventually admit, looking up to him with those teary, round eyes that always made him putty. “You’re leaving soon, aren’t you?”

Naoya feels his heart clench with regret, sorrowful when reminded of the truth.

“Yes, I have a mission.”

“Why do you even go on so many missions?” you protest. “I mean, I get it but—but you’ve been working so much this year, and we’re expecting a baby too! Shouldn’t you… shouldn't you have some time for your family as well? You deserve it—I deserve it!”

“Yes, I do. And you’re not the only one that thinks that, but as the heir and sorcerer, I also have—”

“It’s almost like you’re married to them, and not me.” you frown, looking away; he doesn’t need to hear more to know that you’re very upset (and even then, that might be an underestimation) by his frequent absence, but also, perhaps mainly, anxious for the arrival of the baby.

It was only natural that you’d feel that way, after all, your little dumpling was set to come in just a few weeks, introducing you to the last, most crucial moments of your pregnancy.

The doctors asked you to be cautious, reduce stress to the bare minimum and continue having a healthy routine, but that was always easier said than done, and though you’ve done your best thanks to the constant comfort and reassurance of those you loved, such as your family…

They could never compare your husband, whom you only missed more and more with each passing day as he was forced to undergo missions after missions, after missions.

You might not lack anything at home, and was greatly appreciative of it too, but all the things in the world could never replace his company, no matter how much you tried to tell yourself otherwise.

And thus, he takes one of the many decisions that not only proves his commitment to you, but the depth of his feelings, how excited he was for this new stage in his life, setting an example to his future as a husband and father.

“I'll stay home from now on.” Naoya promises, taking you in his arms and kissing the top of your head, before gently cupping your face, swiping away the tears on your cheeks and sealing his words with another kiss on your lips. “I'll arrange someone to take my missions, I won't leave you alone, I swear.”

The two couldn’t care less if the whole world was against both, as long as you had each other, everything would be alright.

Exactly what he intended to do, from the very moment his heart became yours, he vowed to do whatever it took to be by your side whenever you needed him, in the good and in the bad, for better or for worse…

Until one day, unfortunately, he couldn't.

hahaha well I decided to connect this one thing with another thing I have planned in the future... detailing more of naomi's relationship with her dad and y/n's second pregnancy...

BUT ANYWAYS I WANT TO GO INTO MORE DETAIL WITH THE SHOPPING PART IT'S SOOOO CCCUUUUUUTTTTTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Also Naoya is like super detached (acts like it, he's not) when it comes to your decisions about getting stuff for Naomi, but if you buy matching outfits for the two he will die of cuteness. Test it. :) he loves it.

Well, I hope you liked this little something!!! Omg keep them coming I love domestic stuff between our two lovebirds 🥺especially when y/n is still pregnant hehe Naoya becomes an even more overprotective man aghjkahsjgasghasjgk or when Naomi is eventually born..........................

ugh thank you so much for sending this!!! I LOVED WRITING IT if there's anything else you want me to write be sure to let me know!!!! 😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️

Now take care, and hope to see you soon!!!

[polizwrites]

PoliZ’s WIP Update - 29 Nov 2023

Still catching up on Real Life stuff - so a somewhat slower week for writing.  I touched  5  fics (4 new works & 1 WIP)  for a total of  1997 words.

On Ao3, I posted: 

Chapter Six  of My Love is Vengeance  - the ongoing saga of young!Tony/ bodyguard!Winter Soldier  (now recovering!Bucky) as they deal with being kidnapped by Hydra.

 I’ll Wait Up For You, Dear  - established No Powers Sugar Daddy/Baby AU Stucky  ficlet with a bit of flirty holiday fluff.    

I have 19 semi-active WIPs  😬 with my  current  deadlines being  the WinterIron Bingo which wraps on 16 Dec and Stucky’Verse Bingo which wraps on 22 Dec.  

See  below cut for what I’m working on/planning to work on - arranged more or less by bingos/challenges/etc.  As always, feel free to send me   prompts or plot bunnies as well as asks regarding  any of these projects  or any other WIPs I’ve got out there.   Interaction really helps feed the Muse and keep me motivated!

WinterIron Bingo  - [WIB_R1]   (Ends 16 Dec 2023)

I have twenty-two  fills completed for this brand-new bingo event that I’m helping mod! 

* B column squares for the Iron Soldier badge (complete a bingo with a single work). – Alpha Tony Stark, “That was not my intention.”, James Rhodes, Alpine loves Tony and Blind date.   Got a start on this with a No Powers AU  where Sam and Rhodey are setting rich!Alpha Tony up with beta!vet!Bucky. I’m 386 words in with a target of around 800 total. 

* N3 - FREE - filling this with  Somewhere To Turn - a WinterIron No Powers AU with mall security!Bucky and  young!runaway!Tony. It’s crossing over with my BBB Cold square -  I’ve tweaked it a bit since posting on Tumblr (coming in at 881 words) and it will go up on Ao3 on Friday.   

* N4 - Unreliable Narrator - filling this with Cutting the Strings, where Tony is perhaps misreading Steve’s attitude towards recovering!Bucky.  It came in at 740 words on Tumblr and will post to Ao3 before the end of the event.    

* N5 - Mutual pining - squished this a bit to fit into Chapter Six  of My Love is Vengeance  - the ongoing saga of young!Tony/ bodyguard!Winter Soldier  (now recovering!Bucky) as they deal with being kidnapped by Hydra.   The chapter came in at 1305 words, and Chapter Seven is started at  426 words. 

* O5 - Gentle – use this poem as inspiration?

Stucky’Verse Bingo Round 1 - [SVB_R1]   (Ends 22 Dec)

Thirteen  fills, three  WIPs and a couple of ideas.  Have one bingo & am shooting for hopefully one more.   

* A1 - Harem - crossover with CABB Secret/Forbidden Relationship - Bucky and shrimpy!Steve are both concubines who love each other more than their lord. I poked at this a little for 71 words.

* A4 - Fairy Tale Curse  - this seems custom-made for a continuation of Beyond the Beast😁  Nothing written yet, other than some Vague Ideas.  

* B4 - Sugar Daddy -  Posted   I’ll Wait Up For You, Dear  - this morning - it’s a No Powers  Sugar Daddy/Baby  AU with Wealthy!Bucky/shrimpy!Bucky flirty holiday fluff.  It crosses over with  my  CABB Nov Adoptable: Sugar Baby square and came in at 385 words.  

* C3 - FREE -  probably using this for Chapter 2 of   Half of the Flesh and Blood That Makes Me Whole   - a Bucky POV remix of at least the first part of Take What Was Wrong (And Make it Right), which is currently sitting at  52 words.  I’m expecting at least one more chapter, possibly two, depending on how far I want to take the remix.   

Bucky Barnes Bingo  - [BBB_R5]   (Ends 10 Jan 2024)

I’ve got  sixteen fills,  four WIPs,   and a couple more Vague ideas.

* B5 - Cold  - see WIB  FREE square

* U3 - Fireplace -  Working on a 1980′s No Powers WinterIron fic set at a ski lodge where Tony’s being wooed by poetry and love letters that Bucky wrote to someone else.   Started poking at this as a crossover with a Love Letters prompt and it’s sitting at 129 words.

* C2 - Yelena Belova–   The plan is to use this prompt in the next chapter of Peresmešnik,  (aka Three Avengers and a Baby), which is currently sitting at 1303 words (600-ish of which are mine).

* C5 - Marriage of Convenience/Pretend Couple -  next chapter of   Lady Natasha’s Consort and Lord Steve’s Companion.    Got a spark of an idea the other day that might get me a bit further on this fic.  

* K3 - Magic -  Aro!Bucky healing with a kiss idea?

* K4 - Accidental villany  - the October BBB Discord party resulted in a ridiculous Mob AU communal story  (mobster!Bucky & clueless!Steve plus Clint &Natasha& Scott shenanigans)   that several of us did/are going to contribute to Rashomon-style.  I got started on  It All Depends Upon Your Appetite this morning - it will cross over with my BaBB Crackfic square and once I throw a few more words at  it,  will get posted to at least  Tumblr by tomorrow.   

* Y3 - Alpine  - see WIB Iron Soldier combo.

* Y4 - Forgotten Things -   using this for Chapter 4 of   You Can’t Stop It With a Gun  - it’s sitting at  116 words at the moment.

* May Adopted - Insomnia - finally got this filled with The Dead of Night, which also filled a Flash Fiction Friday prompt [#FFF211 An Old Friend] along with my JBB FREE square. It came in at 317 words and will post to Ao3 before this event ends.

* August Adopted: Take the Shot - sounds like a WinterHawk fic to me… maybe cross over with JBB Touch-starved?  

Tony Stark Bingo Round 7  - [TSB_R7]   (ends 15 Feb)

Eighteen  fills and one WIPs, with a couple of ideas in play.  

* S1 - Galaxy - possibly use in final chapter of   Never More to Go Astray ?  

S5 - Old Ghosts - filling this with the Tony Stark Bingo Mark VII  November Round Robin  fic from last weekend.  My part came in at 330 words - will share the link once it gets posted. 

* T2 - KINK: Cock-blocking 'bots -  I still want to combine this with  the  Fictober Day 27: prompt   "I don't know if they will accept this."   

* T5 - Shawarma - possible crossover with SAUB Canon Divergence – Battle of New York-related?

* A2 - KINK: Concubine - possible crossover with SAUB Gentle Dom

* A3 -  FREE  – @SomeSortofItalianRoast and I are looking at collabing on a  Steve/Tony/Scott fic - maybe throw in a Comfortember prompt?  

* R5 - Doppelganger/Evil Twins -   The Flash Fiction Friday prompt [#FFF214 Broken Mirror] got me at least a good start on the idea I’ve been playing with for this square. I posted NamNori on Tumblr and have a general idea of how I want to build on it to also fill my SAUB AU: Crack square. It’s currently sitting at 360 words.

Stony AUniverse Bingo  [SAUB_R1] (ends 15 Feb)

Another brand-new bingo I’m helping co-mod!   Six fills, three WIPs and several  crossover ideas already!

* S1 - Edging - Filled this with Ringing in the New, where Tony makes a suggestion to improve/change up their love life. It’s a crossover with a Flash Fiction Friday prompt: How Do You Use ‘It’? and came in at 324 words - I will post it to Ao3 before the event is over.

* S2 - AU: Crack - see TSB   Doppelganger/Evil Twins

* S3 - AU: Wings - see SVB FREE square

* S5 - Accidental Baby Acquisition - see BBB Yelena Belova

* T1 - AU: Fantasy -  CoffeeOwl shared a really cool dragon!Steve/indebted!Tony prompt in the ACB Discord server that I may be playing with for this.

* T4 - AU: Canon Divergence - see TSB Shawarma above.

* O2 - Omegaverse - I have a Vague Idea inspired by  @kandisheek’s lovely art piece.  

* N2 - Mutual Pining - crossover with CABB Royal Knight?

* N3 - Gentle Dom - see TSB KINK: Concubine above

* N5 - AU: Multiple Identities - Posted  The Secrets We Keep  to Tumblr.  It’s a first person alternating POV ficlet with mutual pining (and secret identity) Stony.   It came in at 314 words and will get posted to Ao3 before the event ends. 

* Y4 - AU: Soulmates  -  @chrissihr  posted a cool idea about Animated soulmarks, where  only your SM sees your mark move - may try to do something with this!  

Captain (America) Bottom Bingo - Round 2 [CABB] (ends 28 Feb 2024)

I signed up for a 3x3 card for this bingo and have four fills, two WIPs and a couple of crossover ideas.

* A2 - Secret/Forbidden Relationship - see SVB Harem

* B3 - Royal Knight - see SAUB Mutual Pining.

* Nov Adoptable: Sugar Baby - see SVB  Sugar Daddy.

Post July Break Bingo  [JBB_23p] (Ends Apr 2024)

One fill on my  2x3 non-fandom-specific card - still working on  potential crossovers.

* A1 - “It’s you. It’s always been you.” - This might fit in with my TSB Doppelgangers/Evil Twins fill NamNori above :: ponders::

* B2 - Character’s personality is split into two different beings – I’ve never played with Bucky & the Soldier being two different people, but this seems like the perfect opportunity! Will see what might be a good crossover on BBB or WIB (or even SVB)

*  C1 - Touch Starved – another good fit for a Bucky-centric fic. (Steve or Tony or Clint) possibly crossover with BBB Take the shot?

Steve Rogers Bingo - Round 3 [SRB_R3] (ends  15 Jun 2024)

One fill  - need to ponder possible crossovers, especially with SAUB, SVB   & CABB.  

* A2 - Age Difference - see SVB B4 - Sugar Daddy

* C5 - Exes to Lovers  - crossover with  CABB - "B1 - "All I wanted was for you to be happy."  – Bucky or Tony as the Ex?   SAUB S4 - Arranged Marriage  might be an additional crossover  

* D1 - Multiple Submissives -  Stuckony crossover with  CABB - C3 - Bath/shower sex  and SAUB  Y1 - Pre-Serum Steve Rogers?  

Build-A-Bucky Bingo [BaBB_R1]

Another fun year-long  event from the folks at  @buckybarnesevents!  Each month there’s a list of prompts and you choose (at least) one  each month for your card!

* November:  Crackfic  - see  BBB K4 - Accidental villany

Warm and Fluffy   Bingo  - [WFB]   (no end date)

Four  fills on my card, courtesy of   @warmandfluffybingocards  - need to try for another crossover or two! 

————

On  other creative fronts:  I am working on a Tardis Stuffed With Character figure for a commission and have gotten the requests from all three   Marvel Trumps Hate  auction winners - seven figures total!

If  you’re looking for one of a kind gifts for birthdays or other celebrations (besides this coming Christmas), check  out Stuffed With Character    over on Facebook for a full list of my designs (now over 150!).   These soft stuffed figures are  mostly Marvel and monsters, but I have some Star Wars, Star Trek, DC   and Disney figures as well. Plus I love to take custom design   requests  for any fandom!

[jodilin65]

THURSDAY, JUNE 30, 1994 Wow! It’s so much cooler in this house than it has been in a few weeks. Especially in my room. Tom switched over to the AC till we get the other EC going.

I put the wedding card that came with the candlesticks my folks sent in the back of this book.

I’d like to write more, but first I’d like to go make some coffee and see what the talk topic is on Jerry Springer.

Later…

Now that was both spontaneous and fun! Tom came in and laid down with me cuz my lungs were a little tight. After whacking my back he went down there.

Later…

Tom’s leaving for work real soon, and I’m surprisingly not too tired. I’m probably going to listen to music soon.

Boy, has it been unusually hot with temps of 115º daily. In Laughlin, they hit 125º! In Lake Havasu, they hit 128º! God, I hope that never happens here. If I could pick the same low and high every day, I’d pick a low of 70º and a high of 110º. That’d keep the pool comfy. It’d also hopefully keep it as quiet as it has been all year round. Maybe keep the kids next door permanently in Idaho. It has been so quiet here and sooo nice. Oh, I hope it stays this way!

Today we’re ordering Denise Austin’s 1-2-3 Tone Up. I can’t wait to do it and I know it’ll be so much easier for me to stick to. Those other videos I have are just too much and too overwhelming. This should cut to the chase.

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 29, 1994 Uh-oh. It feels like my tooth is wiggling more.

So, how’s videography going? Well, Tom’s making a program that’ll make it plainer and simpler. The idiot who wrote the program we have is definitely stupid and they obviously like to confuse people. Also, the movie I taped is of lousy quality, therefore the pictures are grainy. The Guardian tape is top-notch, so that’s why its pictures came out clearer. We don’t have a video processor, either. I’m going to try to find this movie in a video store. Tom printed a picture of Andy performing. This was from when we were in the finals at the Frontier. It’s shitty, but there’s nothing we can do.

I also finished Andy’s 3-page letter, so I’ll mail that out tomorrow, along with letters to Bob and Kim.

I made spaghetti and two sandwiches for Tom.

His birthday could’ve been a lot better, but he had lots of errands and an upset stomach.

The house is officially ours today and we mailed out the insurance forms, in case I forgot to say. I still have to change my license, get a new SS card, and a new doctor God, do I hate having to start all over with a new doctor!

We went to Christown Mall and Tom got a dress shirt, new shoes, and a tie cuz he has a job interview tomorrow.

We went swimming today and that’s about it.

Later…

I got two packages from Mom and Dad today. One with the jewelry and another with silver candlesticks. There were about 5 rings that were nice but didn’t fit. I have on a really nice gold bracelet, and there are a few other necklaces and earrings they sent that are really nice. She enclosed a note saying the dishwasher is to come. I can’t wait for that.

Tom and his brother David (now my brother-in-law) brought the EC over. We hope to have it set up in a few days.

Should I go for a swim right now? Sure. Why not?

TUESDAY, JUNE 28, 1994 Good fucking God! I thought printing pictures would be a breeze now, but no. I’m having trouble with picture sizes, clarity, and all kinds of other shit. I need to work with Tom a while longer till I can be on my own, but will he have the time? We’ve got a lot of shit going on that we both have to take care of.

I have to get a new SS card, a new license, and a new doctor. Plus, his sister Mary’s getting married on July 16, so I’ve got to be prepared for that. I think this Sat. she’s supposed to be having a family get-together, too.

I’m so confused with videographing that I’m not even sure how to word or describe my questions to Tom. Well, if I can’t ever learn how to do it on my own, then so be it.

I got 3 Bob letters today but was too lazy to type his or anyone else letters.

I typed up #38 & #39. So, that leaves #’s 40, 49, 52, 53, & 62 to type up first since they should go faster. Also, #41 and a few others may go faster cuz there are letters written in them. This is before I put all my letters into their own books. I will not be typing up any letters.

At about 7:00 last night I gave Tom his birthday letter and his two pairs of shorts. Thankfully, he really liked them a lot and doesn’t need to get them exchanged.

Since I don’t know how to bake a cake, and it’s too hot for that anyhow, I made up some pudding. He found the candles and put them in the fridge. I stuck them in the pudding.

Well, I guess that’s all for now.

Oh, Tammy got the video. She said it was beautiful, but she felt bad cuz no one was there, but as I told her, that’s what we wanted.

MONDAY, JUNE 27, 1994 Boy, has it been hot! It’s been holding a steady 114º for nearly a week now. The only time it’s comfortable in here is very late at night. That is, till we build the EC that’s going in the back room.

I did a lot of swimming today and so did Tom. He also mowed and worked on the sign program.

We went over and filled out the health insurance forms, too.

Last night I typed Tom up a little birthday letter. I hope to hell I can find candles around here. I don’t know how to bake a cake or care to in this heat. However, I know he loves pudding. I was going to make some up and stick candles in that. They’ll hold. Let me go check to see if I can find any candles.

Later…

Shit. Can’t find any candles around here. I left a home memo for Tom on the VM to let me know if he finds any around here cuz it’s been so hot that I think they should be refrigerated. Of course, I’m not stupid and neither is he, but I can’t find them.

I can’t wait to give him his presents. Those two pairs of shorts. And I hope to hell they fit OK.

In 24 hours, I typed up #38 and #16. Cool, huh? I also typed up letters to Tammy and my parents. Hopefully tomorrow I’ll get letters from Bob and Kim. Tomorrow I’ll type them letters, or whenever I get any from them.

We’re expecting lots of stuff in the mail. Our wedding pictures, the ribbons, work for me, and other stuff. I just can’t remember all we’re expecting, but I know there’s more.

Later…

I just went to set the VCR to tape a movie that looks like it oughta be good. I’ve still got a 4-hour movie to watch. That’ll be good for days, or nights for that matter when I’m so incredibly bored.

I don’t think I’ve written about a certain letter I sent to both my parents and Tammy right before we left for Vegas, so I may as well write about it now. In the letter, I mentioned how they’ve helped me financially, were there for me to talk to (especially Tammy), and gave me my dream of Arizona. I said I had one more favor to ask them that was non-material. That is, even though I’m not a rich and famous singer, would they acknowledge me as one in their hearts and minds? Would they put it in writing, I asked, cuz I want to put it in this journal even if their answer isn’t what I want to hear. I haven’t heard about it and I probably never will, but we’ll see.

God, it’s so fucking warm in here! Can’t wait for that other EC!

Andy met that guy Chris. He says he’s not the best-looking guy, but far from the worse and so far they have really hit it off and Andy doesn’t want to judge him only by his looks. Especially cuz he wants a full-time relationship and no longer wants to fling around.

Later…

My hair is so long and so thick. I just wish there was a comfortable bathing cap that would hold all this hair cuz the pool kills it and it’s such a pain.

Boy, Tuesday will be a busy day. We have lots of errands and still lots of things we need and want to do.

I can’t wait till we build Piggy’s cage. I’ve always wanted and thought how neat that’d be to have for every single guinea pig I have ever had. He’ll love it too, I’m sure.

I really hope I get mail tomorrow. I am so anxious for the ribbons to get here. I’m going to have so much fun making all kinds of pictures for my bedroom walls. It’s about time, too. My walls have been the same ever since I moved in here, so they could use a change and a new look.

As of today, I’ve been doing journals for 6 years and 8 months. That’s a long fucking time!

I keep forgetting to read Tom Fran’s letter to Sabrina. Maybe I’ll do that on his birthday on Tuesday.

His parents sent him a check for $37. A dollar for every year. I guess that’s what they do with all the kids every year.

I am so hungry now, so I’m going to break for a bite to eat, then return.

Later…

Yuck! That macaroni and cheese from KFC tasted like shit, then the bottom of the Styrofoam cup it was in fell off, too.

Piggy looks so hot. I’ll bet he is wearing all that fur. I just put the blue ice in. It’s not really ice, though, just this blue plastic thing from the freezer that Tom told me about.

SUNDAY, JUNE 26, 1994 Shortly after 3 PM, Marla, her son, and Andy got here. Timothy was surprisingly calm, obedient, and non-destructive.

Poor Marla’s humongous, but her face and hair look better than the last time I saw her.

During the wedding video playback, Andy was the only one who watched it entirely as Marla was busy bombarding Tom with countless computer-related queries. Andy concurred that both Tom and I appeared larger on video. I have always believed that video makes everyone appear larger unless they’re bone thin.

It was so funny cuz Marla was saying how she used to babysit all of us kids but I was too young to remember. I was barely 2 years old. Marla’s 44, so there’s a huge age difference. She said rather than my mom asking, she’d call up demanding that she babysit us. She said she felt so bad for us kids and seeing mom treat the dogs like gold and us like dirt. She said it took a whole 24 hours or so to get us laughing and that she’d constantly try to praise us and compliment us. She said Ma treated me differently when I was very little cuz she supposedly felt guilty about my ear. Well, she certainly didn’t treat me any differently or any better when I got older. She said she couldn’t stand babysitting us and had to stop cuz she felt so bad for us all.

Andy said Marla said I looked the best she’s ever seen and says I’m in great shape. That’s cool.

Tom did a lot of work on his car today but I guess there’s more work to be done on it to pass emissions.

We discussed building a huge cage for Piggy. One with split levels and places for him to hide. He’d love a huge cage like that.

Gloria was on the American Bandstand, but I haven’t seen it yet, cuz I’m now using that tape to record a 4-hour movie.

Did I mention that Tammy still hasn’t gotten the tape?! What the fuck’s taking so long? I hope she gets it Monday.

SATURDAY, JUNE 25, 1994 I got up at 11:30 today and shortly after noon, Andy called. Andy, Marla and her son will be over soon. I sure hope they’re not here long and that Timothy doesn’t destroy this place. Andy says he’s been pretty good and that he’ll keep a constant eye on him. I hope so, cuz that’s what Kara used to say.

I wonder what’s going on with Kara these days. Did she try to become a cop? Is she in Arizona or did she go back to Michigan?

Later…

Andy just called and they’re going to be an hour late and not get here till 3:00. At 4:40 she’s got to be at the airport. They’ll probably be here for about an hour.

I think I’ll go do some typing now of journal #10, which I began last night.

I’m down to 100 pounds from 104 pounds, so that’s good.

Oh, Tom turned on the mister that’s out on the back patio. It’s really nice and very refreshing. I’ll probably go skinny-dipping tonight at 8:00 when all the bees are gone.

Later…

Andy just called and they’re leaving in 5 minutes, so they’ll be here in 20 minutes.

I just did lots of typing, and God only knows what I’m going to do after they leave. Tom’s going to work on his car and I’ll probably type and listen to music till I go swimming.

We’ve been too busy to fool around and my appetite’s gone up a little, but that’s cuz I’m about 9 days away from my next curse. I’ve been taking care of myself and I can continue to do so till we have more time.

I didn’t get any mail today or Thurs. and Fri. Tammy still hasn’t gotten the tape of our wedding. I hope she gets it soon. Maybe today Nervous got all of Fran’s letters which I mailed him.

I hope Andy and Marla don’t laugh too hard over the video. I’m not in the mood to be embarrassed, even though you get used to it.

What else can I say till their arrival? Nothing, I guess.

FRIDAY, JUNE 24, 1994 Not much happened today, other than the fact that it was incredibly hot. I got 3 letters from Kim and 2 from Bob.

Andy drove over with some money he owed me, and in the car were Marla and her 1-year-old son Timothy who he’d just picked up at the airport. I ran out to the car to get my money and to show Andy the shirt and necklaces I got in Vegas.

Thank fucking God we’re not living in apartments that are connected. They’re all the same out here. Even if I lived next door to where he is now, I’d easily feel his elephant walk.

So, what did I get last night at the mall? Well, I went into a store where everything’s a buck. I got a pearl necklace with a diamond-like stone in a gold-plated oval shape. A pearly hair clip and a silver barrette that’s hard to describe. I also got a $10 skirt (cotton with little flowers) and a blue tank top with a zipper in front for $7.

Lastly, I bought Tom two pairs of shorts for his birthday. One of cotton that’s black, and a blue silk pair. I sure hope they fit and that he likes them.

That night Andy gave me Sabrina’s letters and she and I wrote to him today. He put 2 letters in 1 envelope and a card. Bob has never ever mentioned getting Andy’s letter. He said he never got the letter I sent to an inmate, either. Are those fucking guards, who think they’re God, playing games? Bob says one of them’s running around telling people what he’s in for. Yeah, I believe that.

Males! I love Tom, but I still can’t stand males in general. They’re liars, bullies, and sluts. Although, if I’d been able to get all the women I wanted, once upon a time, I’d have been a slut, too.

Guess I’ll go finish my coffee, then try to sleep. If I can’t sleep, I’ll be back to write more of whatever.

Later…

Actually, I don’t really feel like going to bed yet, so what shall I write about? Well, Fran called 3 times asking about Sabrina. What else is new with him, huh? I died laughing when he said he wanted to marry Sabrina and he asked her if she’d have his child. How can anyone be so desperate as to ask someone they’ve never met to marry them and have their child?

I also got a kick out of his description of the temperatures. He said it goes from “20% to 110%.”

Nervo and Crystal oughta get a royal kick out of his letters. If they read them, and I really hope to hell they do.

I finished typing up #9 and tomorrow I’ll start #10.

So, what’s going on with the package of jewelry Ma said she mailed? And the dishwasher? I know Andy can’t get us anything cuz he’s broke, but I understand that. Plus, he just had to get his brother Gary a b-day present back in MA.

Fran says that anytime from now till Oct. he’ll be moving to Chicopee. Why is he going to move there? What the hell’s in Chicopee for the guy?

I asked him if he’s run into Nervous, but he says no.

Later…

Today’s been a stressful day. First, it was a fucking sauna in here and there’s not much we can do to fix it right now. Poor Tom had a million errands to do as well as to put an up duct in my room and work on his car.

Lastly, about 10 minutes ago, Andy surprised us with a visit with Marla and her son. I hate that and Tom does, too. They’re stopping by tomorrow afternoon, too. They want to see the wedding video. Marla wants to see the house and meet Tom, but she already did a little while ago.

Tammy hasn’t gotten the video yet, but I called Dad and they both said it was very beautiful. Dad said I didn’t look any bigger. Thank God I don’t!

Tom also picked up our rings today and at first, I thought I’d have to bring mine back. It’s a 4¼ and I thought I’d have to get a 4½ cuz it was so tight. It feels more comfortable now. I guess I just had to get used to it.

Later…

I just opened all the files to journals 1-9 and got all the statistics on it. Norah’s story, too.

Tom showed me today that the floppy disk I’m using holds 1.4 megabytes and I’ve used ¾ of it already! When I called Tammy, I said, “Three-quarters of a megabyte!”

She said, “What?”

I said, “I thought you knew a lot about computers.”

She said, “Yeah, right!”

Well, I thought she’d know all about what I was talking about, but since she didn’t I explained it all to her. I told her I typed 9 journals and a story.

THURSDAY, JUNE 23, 1994 Another lovely letter from Fran to Sabrina! It’s 6-7 pages and funny as all hell. I just copied it and I’ll be sending the original copy to Nervous. Crystal still lives there. The other day I figured - what the hell, and called him. He answered and was all set to talk to me till she screamed, “Hang up!” She sure has him wrapped around her finger.

I do have more to write about, such as what I got Tom for his b-day at the mall. I went with Andy. However, I’m really getting tired, so I’ll write another time.

TUESDAY, JUNE 21, 1994 Today and yesterday I mailed 3 envelopes off with forms for home office work. I hope at least one of them amounts to any good.

Last night Andy read me 3 letters to Sabrina that came in 1 envelope. They were hysterical, as usual. When we get together tomorrow night, he’ll give them to me. I hope nothing gets in the way of him picking me up tomorrow, as he’s doing me a huge and important favor.

Tom’s b-day is on the 28th, so I’ll be getting him God knows what.

I finished typing up my story till up to this book. I figure that every 5 journals or so I’ll update it, adding it to its document on the computer. I’ve also printed it out, but I won’t print out any journal stuff. I have 37 pages of it printed. A lot, huh?

Larry called yesterday from a truck stop in Ohio and said maybe he and Larry could come here sometime this summer. He admitted to having numerous affairs, which I figured. He says he doesn’t do it anymore, but I doubt that even though I couldn't care less. He congratulated me on getting married and then shocked me by saying he always knew I’d succeed in life. How nice. He tells me that my niece Jenny is into all types of dancing, mainly ballet, and will be taking up the flute. That’s cool.

When I casually mentioned Tammy and said how bad I felt for her, he said, “Yeah, I do too, but shit happens. There’s nothing I can do for her.”

He said he was on his way to CT, then on home to MA for a while.

I called Tammy after we hung up, knowing she won’t tell anyone and was beyond getting mad or hurt, and told her of my talk with Larry. She said, “Fine! Fuck it then! I’ve gone for 9 years, so I’ll go another 9 years.” I reminded her she’ll always have a sister and has been compensated with a brother-in-law.

Now I’m going to go do more typing on #9.

MONDAY, JUNE 20, 1994 On the 14th, the day we were to leave, Tom went and took some money out of my account. When he came home he was wondering if I called SS and SSI to appeal my case. Well, I didn’t, but both checks were there for June 1st and 3rd. What a lovely wedding present from the government. It is nice to see that after all those years of them fucking up on me in a bad way, they’ve finally fucked up on me in a good way. They owe it to me and if they try demanding any of it back, they ain’t getting it. Their letters to me did not come certified and I didn’t appeal regardless of that, so it’s their own mistake which I’m not paying for.

Andy was laughing at how I used the government’s money to gamble. Yup, I sure did.

I hope they screw up again in July, and it’s a good thing I didn’t go run and close my account.

We got new videotapes and I finally learned how to video edit! Tom and Andy were right. It is easy.

SUNDAY, JUNE 19, 1994 Boy oh boy, do I have lots and lots of catching up to do in this book! OK, I just looked back at the last entry to see where I left off. I forgot to say that we were lucky enough to be on the top floor (the 28th), and what a view of the castle! We gambled every day and it was sooo much fun, even though we lost about $300. There were thousands of slot machines. They all had so many different designs on them. My favorite slot machine was called Casino Night. It won me 200 quarters 3 times! Lots of 20s, 10s and 4s, too, but like I said, I ended up losing it all. Sometimes we played together and other times we separated. We both only played the slot machines. We didn’t gamble with other people like in blackjack or other games. Some machines didn’t pay off that much, and others had a huge progressive jackpot.

We arrived there at 9 PM, so we weren’t up long. Just long enough to do a little gambling and see some shops and eat dinner. We got up at 6 AM the next morning and went to a really nice breakfast buffet. It was the 15th, of course, the day of the wedding. We pretty much gambled till 2:30 when the limo driver came to pick us up at the hotel. He took us to the courthouse to get the marriage license. First time in a very long time with me being in a courthouse where I wasn’t in any trouble. The clerk there asked me if “Lin” was spelled right. I was like, no! I don’t know how to spell my own middle name.

On the way to the Las Vegas Garden Wedding Chapel, I saw the famous lighted cowgirl and cowboy. So, at the wedding chapel, which was gorgeous, I wasn’t at all nervous till the ceremony started. I wore that royal blue tank top/shorts (1 piece) that looks like it’s a skirt, my black pumps, the earrings Ma sent me and one of the beautiful necklaces I bought. I had my hair down and wore makeup.

Tom wore black sneakers only because they were black so you couldn’t see them in detail, so it didn’t look funny. Also, black slacks and his new light blue dress shirt we got him before we left.

I had a bouquet of silk flowers instead of real ones. That’s better cuz real ones would die off in a day and bother my allergies.

The minister went over the ceremony with us first and we let him know we wanted a civil one and not a religious one. Also, no saying that I agree to “obey” him.

So, they took pictures and videotaped the little ceremony we had. I’m sending my sister and parents a copy, but I’m so embarrassed! Tom, on the other hand, looked great and was so calm. I was shaking like Nervous and looked so bow-legged and so chunky.

I hope the pictures come out well. Today Tom got video mailers, so I’ll mail them their copies tomorrow. And also, I’m sending Kim back her two tapes of those funny answering machine messages.

So anyway, after the wedding, we got back to the hotel at 4 PM and called Tammy and my parents. They were very happy for us. Then, we fooled around for an hour or so, then we went to an old-fashioned and ugly place for prime rib dinners. The prime rib was great, though. After dinner, we gambled till we crashed which was early. At 4 AM Tom woke me up when he turned the light on in the bathroom. I was beat, but I got up anyway.

We went for breakfast across the way at the MGM Grand, and oh my God! That place was awesome, even though it was dead. Tom said he went to other nearby hotels/casinos without me and they were also dead. At the MGM there was a huge display of Dorothy and The Wizard of Oz and all the other characters with props that go with the movie. There were also lasers and a sound machine that made thunder and lightning. The next time we go there, we’d maybe like to stay at the MGM Grand, The Pyramid, Luxor, Tropicana, or wherever.

Anyway, it was just all so gorgeous inside and outside. I really wished we had a camera, but we hope to the next time around. If they blew Phoenix off the map, I’d definitely move to Vegas.

The pen I’m now writing with came from the room. I got other little things here and there too, from the room. Cups, a pad, soap, lotion, etc.

So our last day there, the 16th, we pretty much gambled till we left for the airport. We got back to the house at 11 PM, and yes, Tom carried me over the threshold. Almost forgot, though.

When I got back there were 3 letters from Bob. One had a letter from his friend Brian in it. It was nice, and I wrote them both back. I got 2-3 more letters from him (Bob) over the next two days as well.

I called Tammy and my parents. Dad has the Father’s Day banner across their entertainment center. Cool. I wasn’t sure if he’d like it. He said Larry tried calling but got no answer. Oh well, he’ll try again I’m sure. I talked to Andy too, of course.

I tried to take an NPN envelope, put his name over the address on it and send it to him, but I guess he never got it. I don’t think Bob got Andy’s letter or a few I sent him, and Andy says he’s gotten no letters yet for Sabrina.

Andy didn’t come over while we were away, but the mail was fine and so was Piggy.

I wrote to Tammy, my parents, Fran, Bob, Kim and that guy Brian. In the hotel room, there were 3 pieces of stationary and 3 envelopes, so I sent 1 to Tammy & Bill, mom & dad and Andy. The second day I mailed postcards to Andy, Kim, Bob, Fran, my parents, Tammy & Bill and 1 for the girls.

Mom and dad mentioned sending us a portable dishwasher, but I haven’t heard anything about it yet, so we’ll just have to wait and see. I think she said something about sending jewelry, too.

Oh! I forgot to mention a few other things. I got a tie-dye shirt with fringes on it that says, Excalibur Hotel/Casino/Las Vegas. I also got a really nice barrette with colored glass stones in it and 3 necklaces. One has gold with colored glass stones, another has colored beads on a black string, and the last one has one dice on a black string.

When we got back and went food shopping, I wore the shirt and the dice necklace. I’m sure everyone could tell I’d just been in Vegas.

I realized a very stupid mistake I’ve been making all my life and a million times throughout my journals. That is that I’ve been spelling Los Angeles as Las Angeles, and I of all people should’ve known better. It only makes sense since Angeles ends with a masculine tense, and therefore it has to be Los and not Las.

Later…

I just got off the phone with Andy a little while ago who may have a promising relationship with a guy named Chris.

Anyway, now I can update on all that’s happened since returning from Never Never Land. First of all, it’s the other way around now, Tom’s been pretty horny and I haven’t. I’m sure I’ll pick up my appetite, though, as it comes and goes. I only hope it doesn’t pick up when his is down.

I just took BOL #10 and put in the ticket that they put on my luggage in CT when I came here, my Vegas ticket and both of our boarding passes.

The whole trip went great as far as my asthma. Also, we had no fights. We haven’t had any for a while, which is very nice. The only thing I felt the bulk of the time in Vegas was tired. Very tired. When we got back we crashed within two hours.

From Thursday to today, we swam, barbecued, went food shopping, did computer work and other odds and ends around here. He picked up plastic office folder files to sort out papers which we did. We went through all the mail I got for at-home work and tomorrow I’ll be sending one out.

He got a couple of computer books and a $50 portable CD/cassette player, so we can listen to CDs in other rooms.

We sent away for colored ribbons which will be a lot cheaper. I ordered 50 stamps through the mail.

THURSDAY, JUNE 16, 1994 Hey, I’m in Vegas!!! I am so overwhelmed with this place and all that’s gone on here. Where do I start? I guess I should start at the beginning. The whole thing will take many pages and I may not finish till after I return to Phoenix.

Later…

I stopped writing up above cuz Tom had come into the room and then we went off to do things all day.

In an hour we’re leaving for the airport. I guess now is a good time to start writing all about my fairytale trip. Andy picked us up and brought us to the airport. He gave me 4 quarters to gamble with.

At the airport, I was pretty emotional for two reasons. One’s that it was a wonderful trip down memory lane. The other’s cuz another childhood dream was about to come true. The airport was pretty dead and the flight was, too. I got a window seat and it was great flying. The shortest flight of my life, though, that’s for sure.

When we got to the airport we came to this hotel, The Ex-Caliber, with 4 other people in a limo. You check in on the 1st floor where all the casinos and slot machines are. All the bright lights were like - wow! Finally, everything that was just a fantasy was a reality. All those things I only saw in visions, magazines, and on TV, I was seeing in person. We came right up to the room which was actually kind of ugly, but suitable enough for us. The bathroom’s big. The building and uniforms of the people who work here are ugly. They’re all in a medieval theme.

TUESDAY, JUNE 14, 1994 Well, today's the day! We'll be in Vegas in about 14-15 hours! I will be very very tired, though. I've been up since 11:15 last night. I have lots and lots to write about, but I'll probably save it for the trip. I'm gonna spend most of the day laying down and I'm gonna go do that now.

SUNDAY, JUNE 12, 1994 God answered my prayers (I think) once again. Yesterday I slept from 1 PM - 8 PM. Miraculously, but thankfully I fell asleep at 11:30 last night and slept till 3:15 AM. This gives me the gusto to go out today. We’ll be leaving real soon to go look at rings and do some other shopping. I’ll write about that after we return from wherever.

I saw that 4-hour movie. She looked great. There were only a few scenes where her hair looked pitiful and she wore these geeky hats. For the most part, her hair and face looked really hot. Her hair was a few inches below her shoulders. Her clothes were very conservative, though. Can’t wait to print out pictures from this movie.

Tom and I went swimming. We also called Tammy who congratulated Tom, welcomed him to the family and said she loved him to death, even though she’s never met him.

Right before we go, I’m going to shave and do my nails. My nails need serious filing and polishing. We have ideas about what we’re going to wear. Tom will probably wear his black slacks and we’ll get him a shirt today. I’ll probably wear my all royal blue, tank top/shorts thing that looks like it’s really a skirt cuz it’s fuller from the waist down. The top has spaghetti straps. It’s my favorite that I bought when I was working at Favors.

SATURDAY, JUNE 11, 1994 Only about 14 more hours to go before I see that 4-hour movie. Or tape it, at least. I sure hope her hair’s not as short in this one as it was in Magic Moments.

Got one Bob letter today and that’s about all that’s happening right now. I’m going to go do more typing.

Later…

Tom just got up a little while ago and we just put stuff in the pool to kill algae. The water was turning green.

I also took that plant clipping I cut to root inside. The water won’t evaporate as quickly in here. It’s in the same cup in the living room window.

Tom doesn’t usually work on Saturdays, but he’s going in today for some overtime. He’ll be home at 4:00 or 5:00, rather than close to 7:00.

I’ve got a tape ready to record that movie. I really wish I could get every movie she was ever in and edit with two VCRs like Andy does. Both he and Tom say it’s easy. If I could do it, I edit out everyone else, run her altogether, cuz it’d be a whole lot easier to print pictures out that way. I’m also hoping The Guardian will be on again soon enough, so I can tape it, cuz the tape I bought of it has missing parts that were on TV.

So, how many letters will I get today?

Did I mention I made a 5-page banner for my dad? It says - Happy Father’s Day, With Love, From Jodi Lin. I hope he likes it. I’ll send it out Monday.

Yes, they’ve definitely gone to Idaho next door. It’s been so quiet and so peaceful here. So much more so and I love it. It’s as quiet as it was when I first started hanging out here last July. Mid-May to mid-September oughta be the quietest. I wish the weather was like it is from June-August, all year round. Next winter, though, come to think of it, will be much quieter. I mean, it should be, and I’ll write why it should be after I go grab a smoke.

Later…

Well, I did more than grab a smoke. I tried to call Tammy, but there was no answer. I did talk to Ma, though, and she said to call collect from Vegas when we’re married. She’s also sending me some jewelry and wants a picture of us she can frame.

OK - so why do I feel next winter will be quieter? Cuz the heavy metaller oughta be gone, and if not, he won’t be playing so loud since we had our little talk. Also, next door was the noisiest when they moved in, so since they’re all moved in, they should be quieter. I know, though, that from September-May there’ll be some ball playing and noise out back when they’ve got their door open. It’d still be nice if they decided to up and leave and an elderly couple with no kids, grandkids and very little company moved in. Or a guy like Tom or a woman like me. Anyone who hates kids and company. Dean, next door, is from here. Thank God Lenore’s not from here, cuz then where would she and the kids go?

Lastly, I have the fan as a wonderful weapon against being woken up. Just the mail going in the mail slot alone would wake me up with no fan. I definitely don’t miss sleeping with the radio on. Certain commercials can wake me up. Plus, I used to hate trying to fall asleep to either commercials or songs I didn’t like.

Wow! I’m already halfway through this book and I began it only 12 days ago. Let’s see… what else can I write about? I am in a writing mood, but I’m running out of things to discuss. Well, my period’s over. Lucky me.

I watched Halloween 5 which I taped. It was so-so. I’ve seen so many of those movies now that they’re so predictable and boring. Like eating the same food and wearing the same clothes every day.

I saw on 20/20 a segment on cosmetic tattooing. Now if I had the money, knew I’d like the results, and would have no allergic reactions, I’d love to have that done. It’d be great to have makeup forever that never smudges or fades.

No messages from Andy. Wonder what he’s up to? Did he get Sabrina’s letter yet? I worked on his letter last night, but I won’t do any more of it till we get a color ribbon and I start printing out stuff.

Well, I guess that’s all for now. It’s coffee time now.

Later…

Rather than get any coffee yet, I was playing with the pig. I swing my hand real fast and it gets him to jump, just like it used to do with my cat. Yup, he’s a playful one. When I take him outside and sit him down next to me, he jumps up on my lap.

Another thing I like about these kinds of pens is that I can look and see how much ink there is left.

I’m going to go set the timer on the VCR before I forget.

FRIDAY, JUNE 10, 1994 Not much to update on now.

Got 3 Bob letters today and now I’m going to go continue typing my story.

So far I have about 200 letters in all. 125 from Bob, 4 from Mom, 4 from Lisa, 5 from Alex, 52 from Kim, 7 from Dad, 2 from Fran, 10 from Andy, 10 from Tammy, and 1 each from Nervous, Brenda, Brian, Donald, David and Tara.

THURSDAY, JUNE 9, 1994 Yeah! Been here for two years! Well, almost. It’s still “Free Year’s Eve.” It’s almost 5 AM ET and my flight didn’t leave till 4:30 PM. I arrived here at 10:30 PM which was 7:30 PM ET.

Got a letter yesterday from Alex. How funny, cuz the night before, I was wondering if I’d ever hear from him again.

I’m also happy to say that I scanned the hell out of next week’s TV guide and Sat. Norah will be in another 4-hour movie called Hold the Dream. That movie A Woman of Substance was a 6-hour movie, I noticed.

So now I know of 6 movies she’s in. The Guardian, Hold The Dream, Nates & Hayes, Magic Moments, A Woman of Substance and Local Hero. I’ve only seen all of #’s 1 and 3. Seen 1 hour of #4. Will see all of #2. Hope to hell I eventually see all of #’s 4, 5 and 6. And anything else that may exist with her in it.

Tom asked me to type up my stories so he doesn’t have to keep jumping from journal to journal. How sweet of him. Well, I guess I may as well go start that now. I looked back through my journals and got a pretty good idea of where it starts.

Later…

Tom’s up now working on the computer till it’s time for him to shower and take off for work.

I made two sandwiches for him right before he got up.

Last night I had to wake him up. Supposedly it was only a baby, but it was still a huge spider I spotted on the living room ceiling. They come in at night through the front door. When we bombed we never really took care of the outside. After Tom leaves I’m going to spray the hell out of the front and back doors. I’ll go outside, close the door behind me and spray like hell.

I also have to call for a refill on my inhalers.

I began typing up my story. I’m glad Tom suggested it after all. This allows me to be able to touch up things, change things, add things. It begins in #58 and is also in #’s 60, 61, 62, 64, 66 & 67.

The weather line says today it’ll be 106º, then for Sat. and Sun. it will be 105º.

Since I got no letters yesterday from Bob and Kim, I may very well get mail from them today. From Bob especially.

I wonder if I’ll ever hear from Cassandra?

Andy hasn’t mentioned getting a letter yet from Fran to Sabrina.

Fran tried to call collect 4 times yesterday, I heard on the VM. I’ll never accept a collect call from him. I called him back, and it was his usual paranoia about Sabrina dumping him. The boy is so fucked. Anyway, I know he’s losing his phone real soon, but I’ll never talk again to him by phone unless he calls me. Calls direct. I hope he does lose his phone fast enough. That oughta make him write more. It’ll spin-off his paranoia some more, so he’ll want to write.

I really haven’t been working on Andy’s letter lately. Only once when I first began it. I really wanted to wait till I got that color ribbon and printed out pictures first.

I was out back a little while ago and the pool water feels warmer than the air. I wonder what the deal is with the Jacuzzi thermometer? I can’t even read it. It’s all yellowish.

I am starting to get so tired now, but I have to stay up till at least 8:30 to call in my refills. Actually, I really want to stay up as late as I can. Bye for now.

Later…

Tom’s in the shower now and I am sooo dead tired. Already?! Well, then again, I’ve been up since 3:30 yesterday afternoon and I had only slept 6 hours. Then I got my period.

Yuck! I see cobwebs on my lampshade. I’d better go take care of it before it builds up into a really serious mess that I know I’m not going to want to deal with.

Going to go listen to music after that and I’ll probably write again tomorrow. I’m too beat to do any more right now. Plus, I can’t think of anything else to say right now.

Be back tomorrow!

TUESDAY, JUNE 7, 1994 Gloria’s going on the Arsenio Hall show now, so I’m taping it.

Boy, was I pissed yesterday! I was browsing through the TV guide and noticed I missed another movie with Norah in it. Tom said not to worry though, cuz this movie is on a lot and it should be repeated within a month. Let’s hope so. In the meantime, every new TV guide we get, I’ll thoroughly check.

I can’t fucking wait till we go to Vegas! The tickets came today. Delta Airlines. Same one I flew out here on.

I typed letters to Kim and Bob and soon I’ll do one for Fran. After Sabrina gets her letter.

Still no messages on Prodigy from Tammy or Marla.

Tom barbecued hamburgers and hotdogs for us earlier. They came out yummy.

Did I mention that I edited Norah? Well, I did.

Got my period tonight, two days early, but it’s not really a period yet. Just dark spotting.

Let’s see…what else can I tell you that I’ve forgotten to tell? Nothing I can think of, so I guess I’ll do some editing or typing. Or both.

Oh yeah - Tom got Andy a spare key. So, if he wants to, he can check on Piggy while we’re gone and make sure the mail doesn’t get all jammed up. This time, though, I hope Andy doesn’t leave his key in the Glendale library.

MONDAY, JUNE 6, 1994 Lots of things happened today. Mom and dad called and Larry was there too, so we spoke.

Today’s Ma’s b-day and she says she got my card and not to bother calling tomorrow cuz she’ll be out.

I finally got to meet Tom’s parents today. They were very nice and Marjorie even gave me a beautiful plant that I hung up out back.

Earlier I recorded that 1-hour of the movie Magic Moments and The Guardian onto an audiotape. I edited most of it and it sounds pretty cool.

I’ve got more to write about, but I’m sort of beat. I’ll write tomorrow and expand on more subjects. For now, I’m going to try to go to bed.

SUNDAY, JUNE 5, 1994 Not that much happened yesterday, but both Fran and Andy got letters from Bob. Andy read me the 6-page letter he’s sending Bob. I doubt Fran will write Bob back, but he asked me to ask Bob if he knows a Dennis C who’s supposedly in some jail on a drug charge. Fran also told me that Sabrina’s about to get her 2nd letter.

I swam today. Tom swam a bit too, and brought over a grill from his parent’s house.

Tom and I began to film the signing video and we had some fun, too.

I discovered another movie Norah’s in called Magic Moments. I only could tape an hour of it so I hope it’ll be on again soon. Tomorrow I’ll also tape her in Nates & Hayes, an incredibly stupid movie, but why not? I hope The Guardian comes on again soon so I can tape it to get parts taken out of the unedited one. Her hair was way too short in Magic Moments. Shorter than I’d ever seen it before, just barely touching her shoulders. In The Guardian, it’s just below her shoulders and in Nates & Hayes, it’s almost to the middle of her back. I wonder what other movies are still out there that I don’t know about yet?

Well, anyway, I can’t sleep yet, so I’ll go watch TV.

Oh - almost forgot. Got a letter from Kim and one from Bob. Today I began BOL #10!

FRIDAY, JUNE 3, 1994 I watched a little TV just now and now I think I will do some editing after all. I listened to music and did the dishes, too. It’s nice to know we’ll have a dishwasher in less than a month.

I just had to stick some Ambosol on my back lower wisdom tooth. On the side that was never pulled. It hurt when I went to eat a piece of bread and it’s throbbing. I sure hope I won’t have to deal with that now.

So, is all this exercise paying off? No. I’m up to a 26” waist again and 103-104 pounds. I give up. I really feel my thin days are over. I’m just not meant to be thin anymore and I’m tired of trying to change myself. Tired of trying to be what I’m not and it just isn’t in me to work out for hours and hours every day. I feel that for some reason or another, I’m meant to get fat. Why? I don’t know, but right after I eat, I feel like I’m still hungry and haven’t eaten in years. To hell with trying to stay thin. It’s just too hard and I can’t change what’s fated to be. I expect to be no less than 110 by September 1st. It’s like my weight is just crying and begging to go up, so I’m letting it go now. It’s free to go wherever it wants. At my height 104 looks like 114, but I can’t hang on anymore and keep my weight where it is now. I can’t keep pressuring myself and trying to be what my body just isn’t.

Later…

Tom got home early today. He’s watching basketball now and later we’re going to have some fun.

We think they have gone to Idaho cuz the van hasn’t been there. Only one car. Any kids I’ve heard have been few and far between and they’re definitely not next door. Well, if they truly have gone, good riddance to them for a few months.

Kim called at 3 PM or so, saying she got a letter from Bob with a warning. A warning letter she’s keeping, in case she ever has to show it to the police to show he’s not involved. I guess they’re going to be making some changes there that have the inmates upset. He was afraid there might be a riot. We’ll just have to wait and see and Kim’s going to be seeing him real soon. Tom said that in minimum security prisons, there usually aren’t any riots. Let’s hope he’s right, and he usually is.

I saw a really weird-looking cloud earlier that looked like a mini funnel cloud.

I guess that’s all for now. I’ll be doing my usual stuff tonight. You know, music, TV, and typing.

Later…

Tom’s watching the end of the basketball game.

I forgot to mention calling Becky today who’s 7. Bill answered at first and thought I was Sue, Tammy’s girlfriend. No wonder, he sounded so unusually friendly. I don’t think the guy really ever liked me too much, but it’s pretty mutual.

Sarah, I still can’t understand, but Lisa said she didn’t get some solos she tried out for. That happens. It happened to me too.

I’ve got to get my dad a Father’s Day card, among other things we forgot to get at the grocery store. I always forget something.

THURSDAY, JUNE 2, 1994 Tom will be home soon, so I’ll write for now. Someone tried to call while I was shaving, but I didn’t get to the phone in time. They left no message.

Today I vacuumed, folded Tom’s clothes, washed my clothes, made Tom’s bed, watched TV, listened to music, typed, sang, and went swimming.

Got no mail today. That’s all there is to tell for now, I guess. I think now I’m going to write letters to Bob and Kim. Saturday we’ll be getting a black ribbon.

Later…

Tom brought home a new box of computer paper and a new black ribbon. I went to print out a picture, but it came out way too dark. I’ll just wait till we get a color one.

I’m printing out a letter to Kim now and tomorrow I may do one for Fran. I hope to get mail tomorrow so I can finish BOL #9. After Kim’s letter’s done, I’ll go listen to music.

Tomorrow’s Becky’s birthday so I’ll call there at some point.

Later…

I decided not to listen to music right now. I’m feeling bored and lazy, but not yet ready for bed. Let’s see - what shall I do? There’s always editing, but I don’t feel like doing that now, either. Too lazy to work out, too.

Andy and Sarah left me a message earlier, but I’m sure Andy’s asleep now. If not, he must be close to it.

You can really see some good color coming out on me. None of it’s from lying out, either. Tom was right when he said the best way to do it is slowly, little by little. I have no sun poisoning, either.

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 1, 1994 Today was a typical day around here. Tom worked. I swam, listened to music and watched TV. I also finished typing #6 and now I’m doing #8.

I just trimmed my bangs and did a good job. It’s a wee bit too short, but that’s OK cuz my hair grows so fast. Especially my bangs.

No mail today, but hopefully tomorrow so I can close out BOL #9.

I’m about to write letters to Kim and Bob. The ribbon in the printer is screwed up, so Saturday we’ll get a new one. Last night I reprinted my journal chart bigger cuz I wanted to be able to see it from the bed. I filled in the blind spot.

Earlier today, I received a children’s magazine using a fake name. I suspect it was a gift from Andy. The magazine is offering over 150 stickers for free upon subscription, so I decided to fill out the form and selected the “bill me” option. I am hopeful that the stickers will arrive as promised, and I can use them to decorate various items.

I don’t know if I’m forgetting to write something in here, but if I am, I’ll write it in later. Now I want to start a letter before my movie is done taping in half an hour.

[kkusuka]

omg can you do pt.2 for “little toxic things </3” where the reader gets tired of there actions and tries to break up with them?? or something along the lines where they simply just ignore them. thank you!!! whenever you can!! <33

pt.1 <3

TW: atsumu’s talks about having an eating disorder for a bit, it also talks about growing out of an eating disorder!!!!

a similar asks : Can you make part 2, where they regret it and s/o and dead or like something really angsty? Btw. I really like your writing style.

I love your writing and I hope you are doing well! No rush or pressure or anything whatsoever, but maybe a pt. 2 to the toxic hc (the one with sakusa, suna, oikawa and atsumu) where the reader breaks up with them or something and how they react. Honestly it’s up to you what the ending is but I just wonder how they would react lol. ❤️❤️❤️❤️

I love your writing and I hope you are doing well! No rush or pressure or anything whatsoever, but maybe a pt. 2 to the toxic hc (the one with sakusa, suna, oikawa and atsumu) where the reader breaks up with them or something and how they react. Honestly it’s up to you what the ending is but I just wonder how they would react lol. ❤️❤️❤️❤️

i know this was supposed to be headcannons but something came over me and i just wrote mini fics for it. 

oikawa

why did this get kinda long?

sometimes time gets away from him. the moment he woke up he knew how important this day was, and as much as he liked to pretend he wasn’t, he knew he was on very thin ice with you. he was going to make it better. hw had the perfect plan, al he had to do was get through practice on time and he’d be set! but, sometimes time gets away from him, and he’s too busy to check his phone when his serve is getting shaky. 

-

you believed him when he said he’d be there, but deep down you somehow knew that it was going to be like every other time. after thirty minutes you gave him a call, people started to look at you. at one hour you ordered the most expensive bottle of wine, and shot him more than a few texts. at two hours you ordered food and gave up on trying to contact him, the point was lost. when you finished your meal at 2 1/2 hours you came to the conclusion he wasn’t coming and he had failed to prove that he could keep a promise. 

- 

it was 9:45 when he finally checked his phone. teo hours and thirty minutes after he was supposed to meet you at the restaurant. he wasted no time, not even for a shower, and made it to the restaurant in record time. as he was walking in you were walking out. 

“y/n please listn! i’m-” 

“i’m over it Tooru, i love you, i really do but i can’t keep going through this. i’ll be cheering for you even if you can’t see me.” 

“please, please we-we can fix this-” 

“there’s nothing to fix, i’ll get my stuff and be out by tomorrow.” 

-

everything was numb now, when had you become so important to him? you were his entire life and he took complete advantage of all that you did for him. he was so blinded by his ambition that he had forgotten about the person who helped him get where he was. and deep in his heart he knew that there wouldn’t be anyone else, and some how he was going to get you back. hopefully you still loved him enough to et him try. 

sakusa

it was simple, he no longer had feelings for you. and he’d rather not go through the hassle of sitting down and talking it through with you. if you loved home so much than you would understand that he had to leave. but now as he sits in his half empty apartment that the two of you once shared, he isn’t to sure he made the right decision. 

-

he sees you everywhere now, it drives him insane. when he walks around the grocery store he sees the snacks you would always beg him to buy. or when he was getting a new cologne and the first smell that hit him was the perfume you would always wear. and on the plane back to Tokyo that only thing that calmed him was the photo of the two of you that he just happens to “forget” to take out of his wallet. 

maybe he should call you, and hopefully you would give him a chance to make it right. 

atsumu

103 lb. that wasn’t good enough, the girl on the poster that Suna gave Atsumu for his birthday was 98 lb. why wasn’t it working? you worked out everyday, ate 400 calories at best, what was going so wrong? Atsumu didn’t seem to even notice what you were doing and that hurt just a bit more than an aching stomach. what he did notice was the way your hair matted down and got thinner. and the way your skin lost it’s glow. and how the bags under your eyes never seemed to go away. 

and he didn't spare you these observations, or how all he girls you saw at that mall didn’t look like that. 

-

after five month you were diagnosed with an eating disorder, and that was the final straw to your relationship. it was like the skies had parted and you had truly seen what was going on. two hours later you had your best friend pack all of your stuff and you left the apartment. you could no longer kill yourself for this relationship, if atsumu wanted all the the girls in the Ads, than he can have them. 

- 

9 months and two relapses later you were finally free form the plague Atsumu had induced on you. you had gotten rid of anything that reminded you of the boy. you went as far as getting a new phone number. you had finally found peace with yourself and your body and no one was going to take that away from you. but clearly getting rid of photo’s of the man wont get rid of the real one. and you’re faced with the harsh reality when you run into him at an engagement party. 

-

he had a year and a half you realize what he had done. and he had, Atsumu was disgusted with how he acted, but never tried to contact you. he knew you didn't want to talk to him and i would just make it worse if he tried. he never truly realized what his words had done to you. 

-

“y/n-”

“i’m sorry Miya, i-i can’t talk right now” 

he understood, he did. but that didn't make it hurt any less. watching you walk out of his life for the second time hurt even more than the first. at east he didn't see you leave the first time. maybe one day you wont hate him enough so he can tell you how sorry he was. 

suna

two weeks of complete silence was the last straw of your already rocky relationship with the middle blocker. sending him one more useless text you decided you had, had enough. you weren’t going to fight for this relationship if wasn't going to meet you in the middle. it took you about 30 minutes to get all of the clothes that you had borrowed from him, and put them in a bag. it took you another ten minutes to make it to his house. and one minute to get to his door. 

-

when he opened the door to you, he isn’t going to lie he was annoyed and didn't want to see you. wasn’t the unanswered messages enough? couldn’t you take a hint. 

“y/n im not in the mood-”

“you don’t need to be in the mood, here’s your shit. you can go ignore someone else for two weeks. 

- 

in some sick way suna missed all of your messages, he knew he had no right to be thinking of them. but its 3:26 am and al he can think about is you. some of the sweatshirts still smelled like you but by now the perfume had dissipated. no matter how many photos of you he had, they didn't do how beautiful you were justice. if he was just a bit less prideful he would be at your door, sleep forgotten, and beg for you back. but for no he’ll just have to deal with the void of emotions lingering in his chest. 

[cabensonsgirly]

👼Baby's Got Trouble. Don't Know How To Live. Don't Want To Die. (Cordelia Goode)👼

Cordelia Goode x fem!reader

👼Part 6 of SP getting reader pregnant👼

👼Slice 2👼

Co-authored with @billiedeannovak

Somewhat au but more so later xx

👼Wordcount: 3131👼

👼Posted on AO3: Read Here👼

👼Content: Fiona (I know a lot of y'all hate her so she's here for you to hate her more xx), slow-burn, angst, fluff, mentions of blood, mild violence, feelings👼

👼You closed your eyes, resting your hands flat against the cold wood of the door as you started your breathing exercises. Soon each breath came in and filled your lungs as if you were breathing for the first time ever, each one as refreshing as the last. When you opened your eyes and swore in shock upon seeing there was another blonde standing in front of you, looking at you as if you were some alien.👼

As you put what clothing you had in the set of drawers you realised you would need to go shopping very soon or else you’d end up wearing a towel while you waited for your items to wash and dry. You hoped that classes today finished quickly so that you could bus to the mall and spend what little money you had in savings on clothing. Shit. That’s another problem. You didn’t have a job anymore so should you need new shoes or personal items how are you going to be able to pay for them?

You swore loudly and hit the drawers in frustration, why couldn’t you just be normal? Outside you could hear the girls speaking, well- yelling: “Hey! That new girl seems to have anger issues! Cordelia are you sure she’s not gonna murder us or anything?” It feels as though the walls have ears, which wouldn’t be surprising seeing as the whole building felt like it was pulsing with energy. Maybe it was the sheer amount of witches converging in this one place or maybe it was the history of the building itself. A quick google search shows that this place was built in the late 1700s or something so, to put it mildly, it was really fucking old.

You take your phone off charge and slip it into your back pocket before leaving your room, closing the door behind you although you feel as though a shut door wont stop the others from snooping. The moment the door clicked shut behind you it was as if air was sucked from your lungs, each breath becoming harder no matter how deep a breath you took. You closed your eyes, resting your hands flat against the cold wood of the door as you started your breathing exercises. Soon each breath came in and filled your lungs as if you were breathing for the first time ever, each one as refreshing as the last. When you opened your eyes and swore in shock upon seeing there was another blonde standing in front of you, looking at you as if you were some alien.

“You’ve got a mouth on you. I like it. The rest of you?” She steps back, tilting her head to the side as she looks you up and down before shrugging “You’re alright looking. Could probably do with better clothes or none at all but hey, we all start somewhere, right?” You give her an incredulous look “thanks, I guess?” before moving past her and heading down the stairs, thanking the stars that Cordelia is at the bottom of them. “I saw you and Madison having a chat, hopefully she wasn’t too” she screws her face up a little and does a vague gesture with her hands “Madisony.”

You laugh lightly, a light blush settling on Cordelia’s cheeks as well. “She was- is, certainly something. Said that I would look better with nicer clothes on or none at all. Which I mean…” You bite your bottom lip slightly and give her a wink before laughing “God I’m sorry. That was- That was not appropriate.” Cordelia blinks a few times in shock, her cheeks taking on a darker colour and she looks down then back at you before turning away completely. “I- Well… Let’s- I’ll show you where we have breakfast.”

It didn’t take you long for you to get settled in at the academy, after the first week of trepidation and nerves had ran their course, you found yourself getting along well with most of the girls there; you and Cordelia had become closer too, surprising yourself with how quickly you had become close to her in six months. Madison still felt the need to get you out of your clothing because apparently nothing you wore looked good on you. You couldn’t care less about what she had to say, you were more concerned about what the hellhound had to say, Fiona. Don’t let her catch you saying that though or else you’d find yourself becoming well acquainted with the wall.

The woman fucking terrified you, and it wasn’t just because she was Supreme. She just gave off the distinct impression that she hated everyone, especially her daughter which pissed you off to no end. Here Cordelia was running the academy while her mother is off galivanting around the world, in fact, she’s still running it but according to Fiona she was a disgrace. Maybe you should introduce her to your own mother, they would get on like a house on fire, which is probably what the outcome would be.

Both women were alcoholics and smoked as though cigarettes would soon go out of fashion, both women also hated their daughters with a burning passion. You could understand your mother hating you, but you couldn’t understand why Fiona hated Cordelia; she was an amazing woman and mentor to you, she treated you like you were the most precious being she’s ever met and even when you slipped up, she was there to help you until you were successful.

In order to avoid running into the hellhound that had returned, you spent most, if not all, of your time outside under one of the trees reading through books and notes. The woman rarely went into the garden so you felt quite safe out here. It was peaceful, the wind danced through the leaves making them join in on the waltz, the sounds that the birds sung took you away from being in the city and into the wilderness, it amazed you how much life was on this property despite it being surrounded by so many other buildings, it should be suffocating but it isn’t.

You rest your head back against the tree, looking up through its branches and leaves to see speckles of blue from the sky poke through. “So this is where you run off to hide when the Supreme comes back to play… I don’t know what my daughter sees in you. All you do is sit around with your nose in those damned books or spend time in that greenhouse Cordelia insists on having. Are you even really a witch?”

Your head snapped down to see who was speaking, but you already had a clear idea of who it was. Your eyes landed on the older blonde, your cheeks taking on colour due to embarrassment. “I- I wouldn’t be here if I weren’t a witch, ma’am. Surely you’d know that being the Supreme and all.” She scoffed and narrowed her eyes at you, “And I thought you’d know a rhetorical question when it hits you in the face, but clearly you don’t. The only thing that could be more obvious is your silly little infatuation with Cordelia. I don’t know who is more idiotic between the two of you. You for liking my daughter, or my daughter for thinking you are capable of becoming a powerful witch.”

You suppress the urge to roll your eyes, knowing that if she caught you, you would end up rather worse for wear. You close your books then pick them up as you stand, “well, as always, ma’am, it hasn’t been a pleasure. I know for a fact that one day, Cordelia will be an incredibly powerful witch and you will regret all the times you have treated her like shit.” In a move that surprises not only yourself but the Supreme, you found yourself disappearing before reappearing in Cordelia’s office, startling her.

“How- How did I just? I was- your mom and in the garden and now- what?” You turned around, checking to see if you were actually in one piece and actually in Cordelia’s office before looking at her, confusion visible on your face. She pushes back from her desk before standing up and making her way over to you, her eyebrows furrowed in thought and her eyes twinkling with curiosity behind her glasses.

“Transmutation. The ability to move from one place to another instantaneously without occupying the space in between… You have to have where you want to be clear in mind but even then it can still end catastrophically.” Cordelia whispers as she walks around you slowly, examining to see whether or not you’re injured in anyway before returning to stand in front of you, a proud smile on her face. “It’s one of the skills a witch must master in order to become Supreme, but that is still quite some time away for you. Of all the places you could go to escape from being tormented by my mother… you chose here.”

You blush and look down, a shy smile on your face “Where else would I go?” You raise your gaze to meet hers, biting your bottom lip slightly when you notice her cheeks are now a lovely shade of pink. “Oh- Well- well there’s so many rooms here and- and you have your own and- and there’s just- there are so many places but- but you chose here and I just-“ You couldn’t stop yourself from giggling at how flustered Cordelia has become. “Delia,” you grin, shaking your head slightly “has anyone told you lately how cute you are when flustered?”

The blonde’s eyes widen and her cheeks take on an even darker colour, she pushes her glasses up her nose, taking her bottom lip between her teeth shyly. “No- No well- No because usually they just think I’m being annoying because I tend to ramble and then I get embarrassed and just trail off before I get told to shut up” she rushes out, her voice barely above a whisper. You move your hand and brush some of her hair behind her ear, your hand lingering on her cheek before you both spring away from each other when the door opens.

“Ah Cordelia, there you are. I was wondering where you were, your mother is in one of her moods again. Something about ‘that new witch’ and ‘she just vanished after running her mouth’, she is drinking herself into a stupor, you know how she gets.” You move out of the way so Myrtle can enter the room, your blush only darkening at her words.

“So, little witch, what did you do and say to get our Supreme in such a mood?” Your eyes dart between her and Cordelia, desperately hoping she would make you disappear but nothing happened, and you were too flustered to make yourself disappear. “I- I didn’t really- I didn’t do anything that- that would make any rational witch- er, sorry Delia you know what I mean though… would make anyone flip their lid. She- She was talking poorly about Delia and I couldn’t just let her continue because Delia is wonderful and beautiful and amazing and smart and” You go wide-eyed and look down “I- Sorry… I- Anyway” you clear your throat before looking back at Myrtle.

“So- So I said that Delia will become an extremely powerful witch one day and- and that she’d regret all the times she has treated Delia like shit. Then- Then apparently I transmuted into Delia’s office.” Myrtle raises an eyebrow, the corner of her lips tugging up in a faint smirk as she turns to look at Cordelia. “Seems like you have a witch in shining armour, Cordelia. One who is growing into her abilities more each time I see her; you’re an excellent mentor to her. Little witch, I think the girls were looking for you.”

You dip your head, a shy smile on your face before you take your leave, thanking both witches as you close the door behind you. Your hand lingered on the doorknob as you rest your forehead against the door, your eyes closing briefly. If you weren’t careful, you thought you’d end up back in the room again, you wouldn’t complain if that were the case but you were already borderline inappropriate with the headmistress so you took your leave, heading to where the girls slept knowing this is where they spend most of their time. Each step you took on the floor bounced off the walls, the sound echoing throughout the neoclassical interior.

Myrtle lets out a sigh, shaking her head as she sits down in front of Cordelia’s desk. She runs her hand over the surface before resting it on her lap on top of her other one, “What are you doing, Cordelia? What is going on between you two? Nobody, not even your mother, was capable of transmuting under such duress at that age, yet Yn did. She did, and she found herself in your office. So don’t lie to me, Cordelia.”

Cordelia runs her fingers through her head as she paces back and forth in front of Myrtle, stopping occasionally to rub her face with her hands before continuing, clearly bugged by something. “Nothing. Nothing is going on between us. It- It can’t happen. She’s my student. It wouldn’t be appropriate. Not even accounting for what the others would think and say about it. They’d say I’m playing favourites and- and that she’s only getting good grades because she’s sleeping with me. I can’t. It- It can’t happen.” She shakes her head and slumps into her seat, leaning against her desk where she rests her face in her hands, letting out a shaky breath. “It’s- It’s not a good idea, Myrtle.”

The red-haired witch makes an exasperated sound, looking at Cordelia with an expression she hadn’t seen since Myrtle had had enough of Fiona. “Don’t make the same mistakes as your mother, Cordelia. You are stopping yourself from being happy because you’re too afraid of what might happen.” She sits back in the seat, pointing a finger at the blonde “you are still scared about what your mother has to say about you.” Myrtle’s expression softens, her eyes no longer steely but now filled with nothing but sincerity for the woman that sat in front of her. “You can’t go through life like this. You need to find out what you want, and whether or not you are willing to do whatever it takes to get there.”

Meanwhile you were currently sitting in a small circle on the floor with Madison, Queenie, and Zoe. You had been roped into a game of Truth or Dare, which is a game you had managed to avoid for a vast majority of your life because you hated it. Why did you hate this game? Because it gave people the perfect opportunity to force information out of you, and into doing things you wouldn’t usually do. “Yn, truth of dare? No you can’t opt out, we’ve been over this already” you groan in annoyance, rolling your eyes before responding “truth.”

Madison claps her hands together and her eyes sparkle dangerously, a look you had desperately been trying to prevent from being directed towards you seeing as the last time she gave you that look you had found yourself pinned against your bedroom wall with her pressed up against you because you had said she wouldn’t win in a fight against you, yet she did and you ended up with very angry marks on your neck for the rest of the week. You breathed out a quiet “shit” which the other girls laughed and nodded in agreement with.

“Are you sleeping with Cordelia?” She quirked an eyebrow, a salacious smirk spreading across her face. In comparison, you blushed furiously, your eyes wide in shock and you didn’t come to until Zoe gave you a hard smack on your back, forcing you to cough out a breath before you started breathing normally again. “No! No. No I don’t- No! No. We’ve never- I haven’t- No.” You shake your head in disbelief “jesus Mad, where the fuck did that come from??”

All the girls had started laughing, Madison’s being the loudest of them all. “There is clearly something going on between you two, you both practically eye-fuck each whenever you’re in the same room. So, spill.”

You shoot her a glare, taking a few deep breathes to stop yourself from tossing her across the room like Fiona does. “There isn’t anything going on Madison, for fuck sake. Nothing can happen. Nothing will ever happen. She’s my teacher, our teacher. She’s the fucking headmistress of this place! And besides, you lot would say I’m only passing because I’m sleeping with her.” You sigh sadly and stand up before leaving “this is why no one likes you Madison.” The walk back to your room felt like it took forever, each step seeming to take you further away from your destination, the only thing running through your mind was how close you were to Cordelia yet somehow so far from her.

“Why do you look like how my daughter is after spending five minutes alone with me? What happened, did she break your poor little heart?” The woman laughs, the sound shooting through you as the waft of smoke from her cigarette hits you. “Although she is pathetic, she is also a Goode and she can do so much better than you.” You look at Fiona, a defeated expression on your face as you shrugged “Nothing has happened between us. Nothing will ever happen between us. So don’t worry your pretty little head about it. I’m not the one ruining the Goode name, you have that sorted out all on your own.”

You move past her and into your room, going to close the door but a shriek is torn from you as your flung against the wall, hitting it with a thud before landing unceremoniously on the floor. You scramble to sit up against the wall, eyes never leaving Fiona as she moves further into your room, her eyes wild. “You may be skilled with transmutation, and you may be my stupid daughter’s favourite, but I am still the fucking Supreme.”

You wipe your nose, cursing quietly when your hand comes away red; closing your eyes you took a deep breath, then when you opened them and exhaled the bleeding had stopped. “What- What do you want then, my Supreme?” You sneered at her despite feeling anything close to fighting. The older woman flicks her hair out of her face, tilting her chin up as she looks down at you “I want you to remember your fucking place. I don’t care how quickly you’re learning to master magic, you will never be at the same level as me.” She moves closer to you until she’s standing over you, her nose screwed up in disgust “you will never be anything more than a nobody that was picked up off the streets because her own family didn’t want her. You aren’t even wanted here.” Fiona gave you one more look over, shaking her head before she leaves, slamming the door behind her.

[unwishablestars]

amongst the waiting stars

Pairing: Levi Ackerman x f!reader

Genre: Fluff

Word Count: 3.8k

Tags: Mutual Pining, SFW, Drunk Confessions, i tried my best

TWs: Mentions of alcohol intake

Summary: When Levi’s visits get more and more frequent how long until he’d have to admit he didn’t come for the coffee

A/N: this is the first fic I actually finished/properly wrote and I actually dont hate it, hopefully y’all don’t too :)

Wiping off the spilled coffee, restocking the pastries and cakes, it was a calm day for you and your co-workers. You felt a cool autumn breeze enter the room as you hear the door open and were greeted with a rather short man with a bored expression.

"Hello! Welcome to xxx, how may I help you?"

Greeting back with a simple hello, he proceeds to scan the pastries inside the case before he walks up to the counter to order tea and brownies.

With that slight intimidating atmosphere you found around him you didn't expect him to have such a sweet and simple order, emphasis on sweet, he didn't seem the type to order something as sweet as a brownie. Though, that being said, he did order a tea that was rather bitter.

"Can I have your name?" Holding the cup with a pen in hand.

"Levi"

"Alright thank you, Levi. Would you like your brownie reheated?" Asking with a soft and friendly smile "Yes, please."

After asking him to sit down you start to prepare his tea and brownie, approaching him with a black tray in your hand and his food on top of it.

"Please enjoy, Levi!" Setting the tray down and flashing him a little smile before leaving him be.

And that was it, you thought this was as close as you strangers could get.

--------------------

A week to 4 days to 3, he started coming by regularly. Nothing special really, he wasn't the only regular, but you sure as hell didn't expect to be able to talk to him as if you've been friends for ages.

You've memorized the way he likes his tea, you know he has a sweet tooth that he wouldn't admit he has and you know that type of coffee he likes when he needs to get through a lecture.

Every 3 days became 2 then daily, he was back again. You didn't know why but it seemed to excite you to see a familiar face, his familiar face, what didn't make sense was why him? Why was he so special?

Was it the way he openly admired your focused and quick work attitude, the way he would pleasantly chat to you about his life outside this café or those sweet little banters you two have when he enters and leaves the store.

For a man that didn't smile much, he sure was a treasure to have around.

Often enough for you to notice though, he always seemed to sit alone. Asking about it, he's never really responded with anything other than a:

"I'm waiting for someone."

You've never seen this someone. A friend perhaps? A date? Whoever it may be, they seem pretty rude to never show up even once.

Leaning on your arms over the counter to ask him "Waiting again?" Levi started sitting closer and closer to the counter just to make your conversations easier.

A slight pause was present before his answer "Yeah." "Is it the same someone as last time?" Thinking for a moment, "No, it's a different friend."

"Not that is any of my business, but it seems pretty rude for your friends to just never show up like this. You could wait for an hour or so and still not be pissed, gotta say that's pretty admirable."

"It's not a big deal. I mean, I'm stuck here waiting with you aren't I? It's not so bad."

He's right, I guess it wouldn't be so bad if you waited with him too.

"How smooth, Prince Charming." Despite your snarky remark you can't deny, it was nice hear that you made his wait bearable for him.

To the untrained eye, someone could see him as a stoic and quiet man, maybe even intimidating. But with trust and patience, he was sweet and compassionate, it could make your heart melt.

Taking as sip from his tea, presumably ignoring your little banter, you could've sworn you saw the softest smile accompanied with a little blush.

I wouldn't mind waiting with you.

--------------------

Nearing the end of the year, a cool breeze can now be present everywhere. Malls, stores and homes turning on their heaters to help with the growing cold.

Leaving his building wearing a stylish grey coat, already on his way to his personal sanctuary, his thoughts were interrupted with a loud and high:

"LEEEEVIIII"

Turning around he was met with a very much energetic Hange Zoe, stopping in his tracks to see what they have to say. "On your way already? Excited to see your sweetheart?" They said, smirking with a deeper intent than to tease.

Levi's friends were more attentive than he had thought, it didn't take a while for them to realize that he'd been leaving the campus in a slight rush. It also didn't take them long to start guessing what else he could possibly have better to do other than sit in the library or go home immediately.

"She's not my sweetheart." He absolutely wishes though, liar. With Hange and his friends bombarding him with questions like "What's she like?" "Is she pretty?" "Are you going to make the 1st move?" It left butterflies in his stomach. The thought of a confession made his stomach twirl, even if it didn't show on his face.

He often thinks about when that perfect opportunity would arise or even if something like that exists, he'd love to win your heart over and have you in his arms. The thought of you spending your days together, official, made his heart swell, yours too. But how could he possibly ask you out? Who the hell was he to you?

"Right, of course she's not.." Hange responding quickly, stretching out the 'right' to emphasis her suspicion. "Then in that case, you should invite your 'friend' to our little gathering before we leave!" They said with a smug yet genuinely joyful expression on their face, nudging his arm to the suggestion.

"Why would I want to do that?" Levi said plainly. His friends had decided to eat out and drink together at a spot not too far from the campus.

This way they could somewhat spend their holidays together before they actually have to leave for the holidays to see their families. Including Levi, who had planned to spend it with his mother (and uncle).

"Aww c'mon, don't be like that! One of you have got to make a move sooner or later. Plus, wouldn't it be sweet for her to know that you'd been thinking about her?" They argue, thinking about it, he decides to comply.

Already walking off "Fine. Just don't follow me." "Aw but I wanna see her!" "Too bad." They follow him anyway "I'll just wait outside then! Then I'll leave once I know you've asked her!"

Clicking his tongue in agreement, they both head their way to the little café he was ever so familiar with.

-------------------

It was a busier day than usual. Though, it's to be expected due to the cold weather. It just makes people want to sit down and drink their coffee or hot cocoa, warming up their systems.

As you give the last customer in line their coffee, you hear the door open. Looking up to welcome them in, seeing who it was, a brighter smile was presented, almost as if it was an instinct.

Walking up to the counter Levi was understandably nervous, he even considered bailing on the idea now that he's here. But seeing your bright excited smile as he entered the door kept him in motion.

"Levi! Having a nice evening?" A tug at the corner of his lips made your heart pound, "Yeah." Cutting his answer short, his mind too busy to think on how he should pop the question.

"What is today?" "My usual coffee, take out, please." Nodding and grabbing a cup, you start making his usual. Looking back at Hange, they gesture him to stop stalling. You catch him looking out the door to see a tall individual with glasses.

"Is that the friend you've been waiting for all these days?" Your smile lightly calming down "O-oh no.. they're actually.." stopping himself in his tracks, air getting caught in his throat.

"I actually wanted to ask you something." "Oh? What is it?" Your attention shifting to him. "My friend.. And I wanted to ask you- if you'd like to join us for a gathering we're having. W-we'll be eating out together before we leave for the holidays." Not knowing where his eyes should look, he didn't look up until he finished his question.

Seeing your face, visibly shocked but not displeased, a bit flushed. Your eyes soften at that thought, he wanted you to come with? To spend time with you? You couldn't hold back your soft and sweet smile at his offer, what would be the point? Hiding your joy would be pointless.

Taking a look at your face, your initial reaction to the soft look you gave him. He was growing confident, maybe this wouldn't end up blowing up in his face and ruining his relationship with you.

Until your facial expression showed a bit of annoyance, a customer had fallen in line behind Levi with her kid. While the kid seemed rather patient, taking a look at the cakes in the display the mother look impatient and annoyed. "Uh- I'm sorry, Levi. Could you stand over there for a moment" gesturing to the end of the counter "I'll get your coffee ready in a minute."

With that, worry immediately washed over him. Did he say something wrong? Was he too straightforward? Did he mess up? He does as you ask and step aside, too occupied with his thoughts to realize that small flash of annoyance was in no way meant for him.

After dealing with the lady and her daughter, you walk over to Levi, his freshly made cup of coffee. "Sorry about that.. here, your coffee." Seeing his worried expression you give him a reassuring smile, your hand lingering on his as you hand him his coffee.

"Thank you so much for the invitation, Levi. That's very sweet of you." Your face showed a light flush. "It's a really busy day so- don't throw away the cardboard cup sleeve, I don't want to stop this here.." still a small bit stuck in his thoughts, he replies, "A-alright.. Thanks." Giving him another reassuring smile he heads his way to the door meeting up with the friend still outside.

"Looked like it went well!" Hange said joyfully as Levi left the café. "I don't know.. maybe it wasn't the best day to ask her, she seemed occupied." He doubtfully thought, "Huh? She seemed pleased! What are you talking about? Plus, she wrote something on your cup didn't she?" They noted in a curious tone, pointing at his cup.

Catching his attention, he takes a look at his cup and they were right, there was something written on the cup sleeve:

"I'd love to ♡ text me the details!"

was written in black marker followed by your number.

A visible yet faint blush was spread across Levi's face. He hadn't mess up, you don't hate him, you wanted to spend time with him. "Aha! See! Isn't this great?" Hange said enthusiastically, interrupting Levi's train of thought.

"..Yeah"

I'd love to♡

Yeah, this is great.

--------------------

Standing outside by the entrance of your building you stood there waiting for Levi. Having talked about it beforehand you both had decided he would just pick you up and walk with you to a small KBBQ place, just a few minutes away from the campus.

Levi wasn't the biggest fan of smelling smoke as he ate but compared to the rest of the 'cook-it-yourself' places around, this place had better ventilation, a cleaner surrounding and a decent price.

[6:03pm] Levi: Just stay by the entrance inside your building. I'm almost there.

Y/n: Alright! :)

[6:04pm] Levi: Be safe.

He's so sweet.

The weather was nice this evening. It was calm, and the wind wasn't unbearably cold, it was nice. Seeing a familiar figure across the street turning the corner, you face showed excitement as Levi lightly waved seeing you by the door.

Exiting your building you meet with Levi outside the doors, greeting him with a smile "Lead the way!" softly smiling back at you he starts to walk, making sure you're close to him. "It's not far, stay close.. okay?"

Matching his pace to stay close to him, you walk together in tranquility, engaging in peaceful conversations, asking about how they'll spend their break. It all felt natural, makes you wish that KBBQ place wasn't just 20 minutes away.

--------------------

Nearing the restaurant you see the silhouette of a tall, blonde man standing by the entrance. As both of you walk up to him, he greets you with a friendly smile and wave.

"Hello, you must be Y/n, right? I'm Erwin, It's nice to finally meet you." He greets to which to you reply "It's nice to meet you too!" he must be one of Levi's friends who would join us- stopping your thoughts you think back to what he said:

"..nice to finally meet you."

Finally? Has Levi been talking about you? You felt a light blush at the thought, thinking about me?  It was nice to think that he'd be thinking about you, after all, you'd been thinking of him too.

"Follow me, we already have a table." Walking inside gesturing for both of you to join, Erwin leads you to a reserved table. Seated at the table were 4 people, one of which you've seen outside the café, the day Levi invited you to eat out with his friends.

As you approach the table you were quickly greeted with hello's and nice to meet you's. Sitting down next to next to the familiar face, they introduced themselves.

"It's nice to see you again! I'm Hange!" "Oh yeah, you were standing outside the café that day, why didn't you come in?" you asked out of curiosity, "Oh I promised Levi I'd wait for him outside while he asked you out!" They gladly explained, lowering their volume to just about a whisper to continue "Y'know.. I was the one who suggested to invite you, Levi can be quite a shy one." They smirked which followed a chuckle.

Looking over at Levi to see some sort of confirmation. All you saw cute pink blush that ran across his face, him looking forward to either avoid eye contact or pretend like he didn't hear, either way, it was adorable.

"Anyway, it's nice to meet you! I'm Nanaba, this is Miche and that's Moblit." Nanaba had introduced going down the line.

"It's nice to meet you all." you simply said, "though.. I can't help but notice, it doesn't seem like you guys extended the invitation to anyone else. Why extend it to me?" as much as you enjoyed sitting here with Levi and his friends you couldn't help but wonder why, couldn't help but want to know it straight, said to your face.

"Because we want to get to know you." Levi admittedly explains, though he feels he wants to get to know you more than anyone else here. His friends nodding in agreement, some smirking at both yours and Levi's oblivious interactions.

Clinking your glasses filled with alcohol the night went on filled with laughter and nonsense. You kept your alcohol intake low knowing you'd obviously still need to go home and you'd rather go home walking than slumping on some poor person's shoulder.

As minutes to hours pass by, sharing stories that brought out laughter which rang around the room. Soon enough it was nearing midnight and some of you were a bit tipsy, some more than others, though you kept yourself your little promise of not going home a blackout drunk.

You weren't drunk but you were tipsy enough to be not be embarrassed if you were to spill some truth about your feelings. After the bill was paid, stuff gathered, and as they walk their way to the door Hange proposes an idea to Levi.

"Y'knowww.. Y/n would really appreciate it if you walked her home.. can't let anything happen to her ya'know.." Clicking his tongue at the smell of alcohol in their breath "What? Did you think I was just gonna let her walk home alone? It's almost 11."

Miche budges in abruptly "Is that why you barely drank?" clearly to tease the man. Overhearing the conversation without really thinking you cling onto his arm "I'm not that tipsy.. but I'd love the company.." a light pink was present across your cheeks, you couldn't tell if it was the alcohol or the blatant confession.

"Even if you were completely sober, I'd still walk you home." He'd love to.

--------------------

There were lots of stars out, nice view. The cool breeze, the bright moon, it was all so beautiful. "When are you gonna leave..?" Catching his attention, "Hm?" "to visit your mom?" you weren't exactly sure why you wanted to know, he did say he was coming back, maybe you just didn't want the night to end yet.

"Tomorrow. I'll be leaving in the morning, why?" he asked back, "Nothing.. just curious." Looking up you see the moon in that navy blue sky, it gave you an idea. Walking into your building you were still gripping his arm, not as tight as when you were out on the street but you didn't exactly plan on letting go just yet.

"Do you mind staying for a bit?" Embarrassed to ask but you did anyway. Taken aback "What? Why? Are you not feeling well?" he asks with a flustered and concerned tone. "No it's not.. you don't have to- I just.." you could feel the alcohol help you speak the truth "..wanna spend more time with you."

It felt like his brain stopped for a moment, did she just..?, but in reality it was racing with thoughts to the point where he didn't even notice. Scared of his silence you ditch the idea just as quick as you proposed it, practically interrupting yourself. "Sorry- sorry, I didn't mean to be- I didn't mean it like that-" apologies and explanations start to leave your mouth all at the same time.

"No, it's alright. I-I know what you meant.. I don't mind." holding back his stutters fairly well the blush spreading towards his ears were as evident as ever. "What? Really?" thank god he didn't take it the wrong way, "Tch," avoiding eye contact and walking toward the elevators "you want my company or not?" "Very much.."

On your way up to your room there was a sense of familiarity and comfort, even though the signs of success were there, you weren't exactly sure what you were so nervous about. Maybe you were sobering up quicker than you thought, it's not all bad though.. You didn't exactly want him to just deal with you drunk, you didn't want him to see you that way.

--------------------

Taking out your keys, opening the door and letting both of you in, you turn on the light and offer him a drink as you open your fridge "Sit down, do you want anything to drink?" "How the hell would I know what's in your fridge?" He says dryly

"Heh- that's fair, hot cocoa then?" Giving a simple nod at your offer you take out two mugs and start to warm up some milk. "Sorry it's just hot cocoa mix and milk." You apologize for no apparent reason other than to avoid the awkward silence.

"That's fine, how do you think I make my hot cocoa?" he asks sarcastically, "with fresh cocoa beans fresh from the tree" you retort jokingly, laughing a little. Surprisingly, he giggles along, making your heart flutter.

Looking at the clock as you pour the milk into the powder, 11:27pm, you interrupt the silence once again with an apology "Sorry.. I know you have you leave in the morning.." you remind yourself as you add a few marshmallows to your cups, walking up to him to give him his drink, "Why do you keep apologizing? I meant it when I said I wanted to be here." He reminds you as he takes the cup out of your hands, unable to hold back a smile the tension on your shoulders loosen, relaxing at his remark.

"If it doesn't bother you.." grabbing the blankets off the couch and opening the window "the nights beautiful.. and the view is better on the roof.." seeing the confusion on his face, you explain in a simple manner "don't worry, it'll be quick and the roof's actually pretty clean. Stargazing on the roof is actually pretty calming."

Trusting your rather odd offer you set your mugs on the counter next to the window to easily step out onto the fire escape. Once both of you had exited you grab both your mugs through the window and head up the steps leading to the roof

"Y'know I didn't expect having to climb out a window today." "Honestly I didn't expect to be stargazing with you, but it's not so bad is it?" "No, no it's not."

--------------------

Reaching the roof you set 1 of the blankets down to avoid sitting directly on the roof.

Sitting down you pat the spot next to you asking him to sit down, doing as you request, he settles beside you holding onto his hot cocoa for warmth "The second blanket is for us, no secret that it's gonna get chilly." You explained, casually wrapping it around both of you, what a bold move.

You smile at him, showing fulfillment and joy. The smiled you both see around each other always show honesty, such a simple gesture can convey so much. Now under the moonlight, snuggled together close, his heart couldn't handle how lovely it felt. You could've sworn you saw his eye water a little, that or the light of the moon glistened brighter than usual.

Looking up at the stars, admiring their light and formations, sipping on your warm drink, the air in your lungs start to lock up. Exhaling a breath you didn't know you were keeping in, the comfortable silence was broken with emotions put into words.

"Other than a ball of fire a huge distance away, do you think they can be anything else?"

"I don't know." he answered with simplicity and honesty.

"You ever wonder how long the stars have been here?"

"Not really, I don't look up at the sky that often. But I'm sure they've been here for a while."

Say it.

"I'd happily wait a billion years to see you."

Taken by surprise, he swings his head to take a look at you.

"..whether it be coming to the café, picking me up, coming home from a trip or seeing you in another life. I'll be here, waiting for you to come home. You wouldn't ever have to second guess it, because I'll be here, loving every second of it."

Looking up at him, to pour your heart out. "Because every second of it, I'll be loving you."

Letting out a shaky breath, holding you closer, softly yet firmly holding onto your hand, letting out the simple truth.

"That and so much more is the reason why I can say: I love you too."

[hikarimiyanaga]

I'll Always Be Yours Pt. 2

Pt. 1

Second Song: Eroplanong Papel (Paper Airplane)

You finally leave Russia to go to America and try to find the love of your life.

An update!?

I just need to write three more songs and I will finally finish this series. And while doing that I'm also writing a Wanda fanfic too.

.....

I'm suddenly writing fanfics again, considering that there's like a hundred plots waiting for me in my phone.

*shrugs*

Oh well. Inspiration hits when Inspiration hits.

Warning : More Angst

Wait, don't be filled with misery

The hope you dream of will also come

Isn't it enough that you have love

In your heart that is irreplaceable?

You smiled

-

You yawn as you go through the mall. You’ve finally decided to come to America to hopefully find Natalia. It’s been a week since you’ve got here.

“Y/N?” A hopeful voice calls out your name and you turn eagerly… only to be met by fangirls.

“Yes. It’s me.” They squeal and ask for photos, which you oblige to. When they leave, you sigh in relief.

“Rough girls?” You grin as you face Silvia. She’s your bodyguard who doesn’t really stop fangirls because she’s one of them. She’s been a fan of your paintings since you started.

“Not really. Just… America is intense.” Silvia scoffs at that.

“More intense than Russia?” You laugh at that and shake your head.

“Than Philippines.”

“Ah.” You hum and the two of you begin walking again. As you walk by a fountain, you could see that it’s base was occupied by couples. And you can’t help but remember her.

Her soft lips that you can’t get enough of. Her hands that seemed to mold with yours. Her sexy body that you can’t stop worshipping. Her voice that pants out your name. Her laugh that you could equivalate to heaven.

A single lone tear escapes your eye and Silvia eyes you worriedly. You quickly wipe the tear away and wave away her concern. And then you smile. Those memories… you hope to make them anew and add even more to them. God, you hope you’re not too late.

-

Blow the wind in your hand cold

Moaning voice, in my hearing

Your thoughts and feelings will fly away

Can it still get to her side?

You close your eyes

-

It’s winter now. You write in your journal. You decided to let Silvia on her own vacation after she spent the last five months with you just roaming around on this country. You blow into your gloved hands, hoping to ease the cold. You were in Alaska and it was cold as fuck. Damn.

Journal, it’s been months since I’ve been here… Can I ever find her? Is there hope? Even if there isn’t. I just want to see her one more time. To remember why I wake up every day. Why I still wait for her heart to come back to mine. I don’t care if she’s happy with another person or if she’s forgotten me. Just please. Let me see her. Let me see the love of my life.

You whine as you put your pen down. That’s it. Tomorrow, you’re leaving… Is this why your mom makes sure to leave Russia when winter comes around? Goddamn, you’re lucky she always takes you to the Philippines for Christmas. You read over your words and close the journal. You close your eyes and hope the words reach her.

‘Please, whoever the fuck I have to believe I will believe. Just. Let me see her again.’

-

If my prayers are not heard

Reach out at every moment

I have to shout, I'm yours

The prayer of the heart is you

-

You’re in Los Angeles now. You’ve been here for three days and you’ve been drunk every single night. It was a temporary high, you know, but it makes you forget about her even if it’s just for the night. You stumble upon your hotel room and reach the balcony. You’re not that drunk to think to jump off from the 15th floor but you’re that drunk to shout out your frustrations.

“GODDAMN IT!” You shout and no one replies, only various car noises and loud music. “JUST ONCE! FUCKING HELL! I JUST NEED TO SEE HER AGAIN!” You didn’t care if it was hurting your voice. You wanted to do something to ease the pain you’ve been feeling. You sob as you slide down on the floor. “I JUST WANT TO SEE NATALIA AGAIN!” You punch the floor and wince as your fist connected to the solid rock. “I’M STILL YOURS, NATALIA! PLEASE!” You breakdown and sob as you hug your knees to your chest.

Damn it. It was the only thing your heart wanted. Her. So why can’t you find her?

“Goddamn it.” You say and you sob again.

-

Wait, don't hold back your tears

Your feelings will rise to the ceased destiny

Your palm will reach the desire

Can it still get to her side?

You close your eyes

-

You were now in a random mall. You took a deep breath when you see her red hair. You were about to call out when she kisses the man behind her and all of your words. Your declarations of love get stuck in your throat. And all you can think about-

“Oh.” You say then you laugh. Many people look at you but not her. Never her. It seems that she has really forgot you. Your tears fall down before you can even stop and you cover your mouth to not let the sobs out. Then you realize… was it really her? You stop outside and you see them both get into the car. You meet her eyes for a second and all you could see was unfamiliar. She was not yours anymore. She’s not the Natalia you always knew. The Natalia that you’ve loved. But as the man pulls away from the parking lot, you hold a fist over your heart… Because damn it. She really does still have that effect on you. You close your eyes as you hear their car drive away. You let the pain wash over your whole body and you kneel.

You finally saw Natalia again… But she was not yours anymore. You sob louder this time as you make your way to your car. You lock it and sob your heart out.

-

And with every stiffness of my resentment

You will not be approached

I’ll Just beg

If my prayers are not heard

Reach out at every moment

I have to shout, I'm yours

The prayer of the heart is you

-

You stand outside the Avengers Compound and sigh. You researched on her. She goes by Natasha now. You resent her. You gave away your life for her. Every single time that people begged you to let her go and you still held on. You gave away every single year just to fucking wait for her. To make sure that she has someone to go home to. And she was here. Enjoying life with Steve Rogers. The wonder boyfriend. Captain America himself. You scoff as you let the pain take over your heart.

“Hello?” You turn and see Steve Fucking Rogers himself approach you. He’s holding bags of groceries and you smile sadly at him. “Can I help you, ma’am?” He asks politely and you almost punch him… but you knew that it wouldn’t do anything. He’s a super soldier for fuck’s sake… and you… you’re just you. Nothing but a past memory and a phantom from her previous life.

“Just.” You pause as you try to get the words out. “Please. Take care of her.” He tilts his head in confusion.

“Who?”

“Nat.” You grin.

“Oh. Do you know her?” You shake your head at him and begin walking away. Tears fall down as you walk away from the compound’s gates.

-

“Well, that was weird.” Steve says as he steps into the kitchen.

“What was?” Natasha asks as she eats the remaining sandwich that she got herself.

“There was someone outside. A woman.”

“And?”

“She was just staring at the compound when I arrived. Then she asked me to take care of you.”

“What? Me?”

“Yeah. Nat can only be you, right?” She drops her sandwich and grabs Steve’s collars.

“What direction did she go?” Steve furrows his brows at her behavior.

“To the park? Do you know her?” Natasha nods and quickly gets her jacket and wait for the elevator to take her down.

“I think so!” She answers as the doors closes.

-

She runs to the park and tries to find you. She smiles as she spots your hooded figure. She runs to you but she slowly comes to a stop as she hears you sing. And oh was your voice beautiful to her ears. But your tone… You were crying as you sang.

You let the music drown out your pain and you begin singing along as you cry. It was as if these lyrics were made for you. You sang in Filipino as you learned it in all your trips there.

Natasha cries silently as she listens to your broken voice. Your quiet sobs and hiccups. What has she done? Why didn’t she come for you sooner? She’s always thought that you were better off without her. That being with her meant that you were also in danger. But as you sit there, singing while crying, she couldn’t help but want to punch herself. You’re crying. And goddamn it, if you were not beautiful. Natasha never forgot you.

She sits besides you and you don’t notice, still wanting to get all of your pain out before you go back. Before you paint again. You finally stop and pant.

“Nice song.” She says but you don’t answer. You were still trying to catch your breath. And she let you rest before talking again. “Y/N.” She calls out but you don’t answer again. Were you avoiding her? She then notices the earphones on your ears and how she can faintly hear music. God. How loud was the thing?

You close your eyes and sigh. She takes an earphone out and you flinch away as you stand. Who the fuc-? Your words die on your mouth, the moment you see her.

“Nat.” You say softly and she smiles at you.

“Y/N.”

“What are you doing here?”

“I wanted-“

“It’s too late, Nat.” She flinches and you take a step back. You run a hand through your hair. “You should go back and I will too.” You put on your hoodie and power walk away from her.

Nat was about to go after you when her phone suddenly rings. She sighs and answers it when she sees that it’s Fury.

A/N:

I'm not crying, you are. Also, no one can stop me from killing myself with Angst.

I'm considering of posting for everyday if possible? Considering I'm going to be home, doing absolutely nothing since Professor are actually considerate for our health... Which is new.

So if I do finish some time this day or next week, then everyday it is.

[let-me-luve-you]

Trip to the North Pole

Dad!Jensen x Reader

SPN Christmas Bingo 2020

Summary: Jensen promises his children to go see Santa.

Warnings: Angst, Workaholic Jensen, some fluff

MASTERLIST

SPN Christmas Bingo 2020

Jensen didn’t plan on being busy during the months of November and December. He had finished filming a movie at the very beginning of December. He was recording for his new album. He was working for his new production company and trying to bring in two new shows. He rarely spent time with his family. 

You tried to include Jensen in the family Christmas activities, but he just couldn’t find time. You were surprised he could find time to eat and sleep. So far he missed putting up the Christmas lights, picking out a tree and decorating it, making Christmas cookies and candies, and he missed the family slumber party where you gave the kids their Christmas pajamas and watched a Christmas movie.

Jensen begged you to wait on taking the kids to see Santa. Hadley was 4, the twins Tristan and Raelyn were 2, and Lyndon was 3 months. He had missed seeing Santa in the past due to filming for Supernatural, but he didn’t want to miss this year. It was a week before Christmas, and Jensen still hadn’t taken the kids to see Santa at the mall.

“Jensen babe, the kids keep asking when they get to go see Santa. They’re afraid they won’t get anything if they don’t see him.” You said as you walked into the office.

“I promise I’ll take them. I just have meetings all day today and tomorrow. I’ll take them this weekend.” Jensen said. You sighed.

“We can’t. We are going to my family this weekend, remember?” You looked at him as his head fell.

“I forgot. I’ll take them right when we get back Sunday.” He said as he stood up and walked up to you. He kissed your head and then walked back to his desk. You walked out of the room to go break the news to your kids. 

“Hey bubs and bubettes, Daddy will take you this weekend when we get back from Grams and Pops house.” You said as they all stopped playing and looked at you. They looked so defeated because they were hoping to go today. “I promise babies. Daddy will take you Sunday.” 

They smiled at you and then moved on to continue playing with their toys. You moved to the kitchen to start working on dinner. You occasionally looked up at the children and would smile as they talked with each other and would laugh. Jensen was missing out on so much and he didn’t even know it.

Sunday morning came and the kids ran into your room and jumped on your bed. 

“Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Wake up! We get to see Santa today!” Tristan yelled as he shook you awake. His two sisters bouncing up and down next to him. You smiled at them. You turned your head to where your husband normally lays and his side was empty. You internally sighed knowing he was already working. 

“Okay. Okay. I’m up. Let’s turn on a movie for you to watch as Mommy gets Lyndon fed and ready and gets herself ready. What do you want to watch? Frosty the Snowman or Rudolph?”

“RUDOLPH!” All three yelled. You smiled and put the movie on the tv. You walked to Lyndon’s room and saw him lying awake in his crib.

“Hi baby. How are you this morning?” You cooed at him. He smiled big showing off his gums. “Is my baby boy hungry?” You said as you unbutton the first few buttons of Jensen’s shirt you were wearing. Lyndon latched on to your breast and started eating. You walked down the hall to Jensen’s office as he fed. 

Jensen didn’t look up as you walked in. You watched him from the doorway. His eyebrows set in a frown as he pushed his fingers into his temples to release some pressure. You knew he had been working hard on all his projects. Sometimes he put too much of himself in his work. You walked towards him. He finally looked up at you and smiled. He pushed himself away from the desk and pulled you and your youngest son down in his lap.

“You amaze me everyday.” He said as he kissed your shoulder and then looked at his son. He gently put his hand on Lyndon’s head and moved his thumb softly against his hair. “I’m so lucky to call you my wife and their father.” 

You smiled at him, “I’m the lucky one.” You leaned over and kissed him. “They are lucky to have you as a father. Someone who works so hard so they can live the best possible life. Someone who cares and listens to them. They love you so much.”

“They won’t after I break this horrible news to them.” He sighed. “I messed up Y/N/N. I.. I waited too long. Santa isn’t at the mall anymore.” He looked defeated. You couldn’t imagine how he was feeling. He was trying so hard to be the perfect husband, father, and worker. “They are going to be so disappointed.”

“Hey. It’s okay. We can figure something out.” You were internally upset. If he would have just set a little time aside, this wouldn’t be a problem, but you also know how hard he was working to provide for his family. Lyndon finished eating and pulled away. Jensen reached for Lyndon and the burp towel on your shoulder. He started patting him on the back. You fixed your shirt back. 

“I’m going to go shower and get ready and then get the kids ready. You figure something out. I’ll tell them we are seeing Santa tonight.” You said. “Is Lyndon good to stay with you?” Jensen nodded as he held his son close to his chest as he fell asleep. 

“Yeah I got him. Little man can help me brainstorm.” He smiled at you. You walked out of the room.

Jensen watched his son sleep. Guilt filling his body as he thinks about his kids not seeing Santa this year. He grabbed his phone and dialed Jared’s number. He listened to it ring a few times before he heard a hello.

“Man I messed up. The kids will hate me.” He said quietly so he wouldn’t disturbed the sleeping baby.

“What? They won’t hate you Jense.” Jared replied. “Hadley adores you, Tristan looks up to you, and Raelyn thinks you are the greatest thing to walk this earth. And I know you are the only one, besides Y/N, that Lyndon will calm down for. Nothing will make them hate you.”

“I promised them we’d go see Santa. I begged Y/N to let me take them this year. I waited too long because I’ve had so many meetings and studio sessions. The mall doesn’t have Santa anymore.” Jensen sighed. Jared heard the defeated tone when Jensen spoke. He sighed knowing how much the kids were looking forward to it. His kids loved seeing Santa.

“Shit man, I’m sorry. What’s your plan now?” Jared asked.

“I don’t know. Hoping maybe you had an idea.” Jensen said hopefully.

“I have one.” Jensen heard a voice. “We decorated the outside in a North Pole theme.” Gen said. “Who wants to dress up as Santa? Jared?” Jared nodded and then said sure.

“I mean Jensen did promise his kids he would be there.” Jared said. “How about this. Bring the kids by around 6. They can see Santa and then we can grab dinner together and drive the kids around to see the Christmas lights.”

“Jare, that’s a great idea. Is that okay with you Gen?” Jensen asked. Hope filled his chest.

“That sounds like a perfect night. Is Y/N going to be okay with it?” Gen asked.

Jensen kissed Lyndon’s head as he started to whimper. “Shh. It’s okay little man.” he said quietly to his son, but Jared and Gen heard and smiled. “Yeah she’ll be okay with it. See you at 6.” He said as he hung up with his best friends.

Later that night, with the kids dressed up in their Christmas sweaters buckled into their car seats, Jensen pulled the suburban into Jared’s driveway. 

“Why are we at Uncle Jared’s?” Hadley asked. 

You turned towards her, “We are going to see Santa.” Your kids looked confused as Jensen got out and opened the back door to help the kids get out of their carseats. You got Lyndon out and carried him around the car to stand by Jensen. All four kids were looking around in awe at the decorations. You noticed they added more decorations from the last time you were here. And that was four days ago.

“This place looks amazing!” Raelyn yelled. Tristan grabbed Jensen’s hand and started to bounce.

“I’m so excited. Let’s go find Santa.” Tristan said as he pulled Jensen’s hand. Hadley and Raelyn followed.

Gen walked up dressed in a Christmas sweater with her three kids following. “Who is excited to see Santa?” She asked with enthusiasm. All six yelled as the baby just cooed. Gen led the group to the giant chair where you saw Jared dressed as a Santa. You stifled your laugh since the kids didn’t see that it was their Uncle Jared.

“HO HO HO! Merry Christmas little ones.” Jared said in a deep voice. “Who’s up first?” All the kids lifted their hands. All the adults laughed.

“Daddy. Can I go first?” Raelyn asked quietly. Jensen nodded as he watched his youngest daughter walk over to Santa hesitantly before she turned and ran to Jensen crying. “Daddy I don’t want to.” Jensen wrapped his arms around her. He nodded at Gen to let her kids go first.

“It’s okay baby girl. Santa won’t hurt you.” He whispered as she hid in his chest. Raelyn being scared made Tristan and Hadley timid. “You’ve seen Santa before. He’s nice.” He ran his hand over her hair trying to calm her down. “Hadley, do you want to go?” She nodded. 

Jensen watched Hadley walk up to Santa. He smiled down at her and picked her up to set him in his lap. Jensen turned back to his youngest. He pulled her face away from his chest and wiped away her tears. “Daddy, I’m scared.” She said with more tears falling down her face and bottom lip sticking out. 

“I’ve got you. Daddy won’t let anything happen to you.” Jensen said as he picked her up and stood up to his full height. “I promise you nothing will hurt you. You don’t have to be scared.” He turned Raelyn to see Hadley hopping down from Santa’s lap and saw Tristan crawling up talking Santa’s ear off. “See baby. Hadley did it. Tristan is doing it.” 

“It’s not scary at all Rae. I did it. He smells just like Uncle Jared.” She said. Gen heard and laughed. “I’ll go with you. Come on.” She reached for Raelyn’s hand as Jensen sat her down. Hadley tried to lead her to Santa. 

“I want Daddy to come with me.” She looked up at him. He nodded and walked with her. He turned to see you watching with love in your eyes. Tristan and Hadley stood next to you. Jensen pointed at Lyndon and curled his finger as saying ‘bring him here.’ You handed Lyndon off and went back to your other children. 

“Hi Raelyn.” Santa said. “What can I get you for Christmas?” Raelyn looked scared but then pulled Santa’s head down to her level as she whispered. Jensen strained to hear but he couldn’t. “That’s an awfully nice gift. I will see what I can do. Is there anything else you want?” Raelyn shook her head. 

Before she could hop off Santa’s lap, you walked up with your other two children. “Picture time everybody.” Hadley and Tristan crawled into Santa’s lap. Somehow all fitting. Jared reached for Lyndon and held him as Jensen took a step back and watched as you grabbed a few photos of the kids with Santa. They all hopped down and ran to play with Gen’s kids. You pushed Jensen towards Jared. “I’m not missing out on this opportunity. Go sit in Santa’s lap and I’ll get a picture.” 

Jensen groaned as Jared laughed. Jared handed off Lyndon to Gen before turning to Jensen and saying, “Come here adult child and tell me what you want for Christmas.” Jensen rolled his eyes but sat on Jared’s lap anyways. Both smiled for the camera. “Raelyn wants to spend more time with you. That’s what she whispered in my ear.” Jared said quietly to Jensen. Jensen looked down at him. Pain filled his chest as he felt he failed his children. 

He got up and walked away for a second to gather himself before walking back to the group. You looked at him in worry but he shook off your look and walked to the kids. “Come on kids. It’s me and you tonight while Mom, Aunt Gen, and Uncle Jared figure out where we are going for dinner. Let’s go walk around the yard to see all the lights.” Jensen grabbed Raelyn and put her on his shoulders, holding onto her legs. She smiled and wrapped her tiny arms around his head and neck to hold on.

Jared filled you in on the conversation, but when you looked over at Jensen, he was laughing and smiling at spending time with his children. You knew that this wasn’t the typical Santa meet and greet the kids, or Jensen, wanted, but you knew this was going to be a night to remember. One that also causes Jensen to take more breaks from work.

[draken-rotzi]

Bug Man x Reader Part One*

Read on AO3

SO, wanted to write something of this topic bc we all need some more Musical!BJ in our lives, it’s a nice comfort ngl, I enjoyed writing it and hope you do too c:

(Got carried away so here's the first half while I edit the second one in the meantime, it takes a bit to get to the main part we all want to read forgive mE it's better in th next one believeme)

I'd love some feedback since I haven't written anything since 2019 ;v; some wordings might seem odd since my brain speaks spanish first english second

Summary; Old boring university life and a broken but hopeful heart meet the supernatural and whacky demon/ghost with the most, reader-chan needs to get out from a toxic relationship and what's a better help than a magic dead man? Cutting ties might seem easier when someone else arrives and flips your world upside down with no warning.

Mostly fluff, bits of angst l8r

Female reader, but tried to not give any other specifics to the character themselves, OCs appear

It was a fresh autumn afternoon, birds still chirped before migrating to warmer areas for the winter, the wind was cold but nice, not yet freezing but enough for people to wear light coats. You sit on a school desk, a class about taxes and fees, you drift off a bit looking at the window while half-listening.

You lived in a medium but popular city, it was a great place, with nice, kind people for the most part, huge malls, restaurants and lots of places to go out with friends or alone.

...

"Miss ___? Care to answer this equation here for the class?" The teacher asks, a tall, slender woman that radiated authority, it made some students shiver in times like this with a direct question.

"Oh? Yeah- sure miss Adams" You replied, while trying not to look confused since you just missed the topic, hopefully you remembered from the last lesson by the time you walked up to the blackboard and took the marker to write.

...

After class, you were walking with your friends to the cafeteria next to the main exit to wait for an uber to arrive; your side job as a freelance wasn't good enough yet to afford a car, but it helped pay the bills and to have enough for a bit more more than the basic needs.

Your two best friends at college were Itai and Rob. Itai was a funny dude, with a darker tone on his skin, not so tall and full of charisma. Rob was a bit more collected, but still a lot of fun to be around, being the voice of reason for you three most of the time, emphasis in most, because sometimes he got carried away too.

"Man I hate that class, I don't understand a thing! Why do we even need math?" Itai tells the group, sounding annoyed as usual, he was a simple guy, but simple guys need a degree too, to secure a better job.

"Well if you paid attention instead of eating that cold baguette in class you won't be that confused my man" Rob replies, laughing a bit at the end

"At least you weren't asked to do math in front of the class" You sigh, putting down your backpack and sitting on a table next to the building's exit, looking at your phone to know how much time was left for the driver to arrive, around 10 minutes.

"Yeah everyone felt so bad for you, but hey, if you’ll be daydreaming at least look at the front instead of the window next time, it might help you" Rob said while opening a bottle of apple juice, his favorite, he wouldn't drink any other thing, he was probably 60% apple juice after years of drinking it that often.

A few minutes passed by, the three friends chatting about the day's events, their plans for the weekend, and how to get the next assignment done. A figure appeared behind you putting a hand on your shoulders.

"Well hello ladies!" A man chirped, you turned around laughing softly

"Hey yourself!" you replied "Already off?"

"Yeah I've got the last hour free so I'm gonna head out to Kris' place, we'll play some games and work on that big project I told you the other day"

"Great, have fun! You say hi to Kris from me yeah?"

"Sure thing, see you later!" He says with a squeeze of his hand on your shoulder, then a quick pat on the head, turning around to leave.

"Bye, take care Nick!" you say as the man walks out of the cafeteria's door waving a hand.

Silence lingers for a bit until Itai breaks it

"Hey so, you're still going out with him?" He says with a crooked smile and a nervous look, Rob has a similar expression

"Yeeeah... it's been okay for some time now, you know? Hah" You look down for a second, pondering "Maybe this time is the good run?" Uncertainty fills the question, but you still smile to your friends.

Nikolas wasn't the model boyfriend, at least not for your friends; he was full of sweet words, hugs and kisses, only in private places though. When it came to the campus he treated you just like any other friend.

There was a small reason, according to him, he wanted to wait a bit more to make it public, get to know each other better, just to be certain from both sides.

That was the excuse a year ago.

It wasn't like he was out and flirting with other people, not at all, but one could expect to be treated like a love partner after so much time and moments together, you’ve gone to the movies, to dinner, to each other's houses, hell your families knew you two were dating, it just wasn't more than the bare minimum from him, seemed more like a thing someone does if they have free time, not make time for that thing, the thing being the relationship.

It seemed to be only a problem of neglect and apathy, probably, though you were so dumbly in love with him at first, you have been hoping and asking for a change since the relationship escalated to more than just holding hands and light kisses.

"I don't think anything's gonna change, he's been stalling for a whole year now" Itai mumbled, looking at Rob, he nodded in agreement

"Yeah, just dump him already, you deserve way better, you give him everything you got and he just throws the leftovers at you."

"I guess, but we're going out this weekend! You know he doesn't like going out often"

"With you" Rob adds

You hesitate a reply, it was true, most of the times you asked him to go out for a change, he was either too busy or decided to change the event the same day, turning it into a make out session in his house every time. Even though you saw each other 2 days every week, you have seen him go out with his friends more often, on actual enrichment outside activities.

"I know..." you sigh " I'll think about it, I'll try to talk with him about it next time”

Both of your friends let out a small groan of annoyance, they knew you weren't gonna do it, or that he'll just brush it off as always, between the lines of 'oh you're overreacting'

"Ah my ride's here!" You got up from the table and grabbed your backpack, tossing it over one shoulder.

"See he can't even give you a lift to your place!" Itai teased, they knew how you felt about the whole situation, but joking around sometimes made it a bit less bitter.

"Ha-ha, you know we live in opposite ends of the city! Besides none of you give me a ride either" you said while sticking a tongue out on your way outside the cafeteria

"Yeah because you live at the ends of the earth for some weird reason!" Rob joked back

Everyone said their quick goodbyes, and after a calm ride back home you remembered something just as you were locking the door, tossing your backpack into the living room’s couch you walked over to your room.

You flopped onto the bed, looking at your phone you opened some pending messages on the family group chat, apparently a distant relative of yours had died, and the family was gonna hold a small funeral tomorrow morning on the local cemetery, you didn’t enjoy those kind of events since you’d get really emotional, but since it was something really small, no more than 20 people, it was private and most likely no strangers would see you cry over someone you barely knew.

Tomorrow was saturday so it was okay to spend one free morning humoring your family.

After some mindless browsing on your phone, it was already 12:30am, you haven’t even got off your sneakers since you got home, you did a quick self-cleanup in the bathroom, tossing today’s clothes to the side to change into an oversized shirt with no pants as a makeup pijamas, it got a bit warmer in the afternoon so you wanted to enjoy wearing something light before winter fully arrived, getting under the sheets and you were out fast, maybe from all the overthinking of what’d tomorrow might bring, you’ve forgotten what are funerals like.

But there was certainly no way you’d know what would happen at all the next day

...

The event was simple, thankfully there was not much crying, seemed like everyone accepted already what had happened, some kind of illness you heard, at least they weren’t suffering anymore and they’ve come to terms with everyone close to them, that was nice you thought, it sure felt a bit heavy in there, as usual for funerals. After the ceremony, the family offered a barbeque in the departed’s honor to bright up the mood a bit; right at the cementery, maybe it was cheaper than renting a place for it.

Free tasty food was something only an idiot would decline, so you spent some time doing small talk with the relatives you knew best, but still you mostly just listened and ate in silence.

You saw a glimpse of color and movement out of the corner of your eye, since everyone was wearing dark tones it stood out, turning your head there was just an empty plastic table with some half-full plates and glasses, still, you felt a shiver up your spine, it was probably the weather.

When you looked back at your phone's clock it was already 6 pm, guess dad jokes and food made time fly, you said your goodbyes and condolences to everyone and headed out, you were still at the cemetery, so you had to call a ride back home, the driver dropped you near a convenience store just around the corner of your apartment, since you needed to buy a snack for dinner, on sundays you usually had takeout, so no need to worry much about it right now.

_______________________________________________________

“I know I didn’t imagine anything, that breather saw me at the cemetery! we even locked eyes for a second! It may work this time, just gotta get closer while they're alone”

_______________________________________________________

…

Walking down the street, humming a bit to some music and a bag of snacks in hand, dusk started to set, some stars could be seen and the sky was a beautiful fuchsia tone with oranges and purples mixed in the clouds. On instinct, you took your phone out of your jeans pocket to take a picture of the cute sky.

Just as you took a couple of pictures, to make sure at least one was good to share, something caught your attention out of the corner of your eye again

You felt a shiver like a cold wind out of nowhere, similar as to when a car drives a bit too close to someone on winter, but there was not even one driving car on the street.

"Oof, should get back now, it's getting colder" picking up the peace to get home faster-

A piece of paper slapped you in the face

“EW- wind trash” you muttered while grabbing what seemed to be a flyer, and it flew indeed.

You naturally took a closer look at it when you took it into your hands and out of your face, it was a very faded print, with an image of an… insect? man? holding a hammer over a small house and people, you chuckled, it was a funny irony cartoon, a bug crushing people.

Half of the flyer was unreadable because of some liquid or dirt, already dry but you couldn’t read what was supposed to be, written under the drawing was the end of an ad;

“Ghostly services one name away!

RESIDENTIAL - INDUSTRIAL - COMMERCIAL

Call BETELGEUSE

BETELGEUSE

BETELGEUSE!”

“Betelgeuse? ...Like that one star?” There was that shiver again, Halloween was a week ago, so this kind of paper seemed normal to be hanging around with the wind.

As you walked down the street, some lights started flickering, the cold wind seemed stronger and the sky was a deep dark purple now, strange, it was supposed to be clear dark blue by now, fall nights came quickly this time of the year, still it didn't feel like the usual night. You were just around the corner of your street when the closest light bulb exploded and zapped with a loud 'CRASH', making you stop for a second cowering from the shards

"What the-!? No one told me we'd be getting winter thunderstorms sooner what the eff" muttering swears you made a run to your apartment, scurrying for the door keys in the process, lights kept flashing and the wind made windows sing a high 'oooo' noise, you have seen this kind of weather before but no one would like to be outside when it happened, nervously and quickly you finally fit the key in the lock and opened the door, hurrying inside and closing it behind, a loud bang thundered through the silent room, the unexpected storm slamming against the walls and windows, you left the lights on before going out.

After a minute it seemed to calm down, wind turning into a breeze and the sky now it's usual black, no stars in the sky.

You let out a sigh and walked to the counter to drop your keys, the phone and your purse, you had to make sure all the windows were closed for the night, luckily it was Saturday, so no need to go out tomorrow on that crazy weather.

Windows secured, you changed into your winter pajamas, a gray pair of pants with a pattern of a cat on toast and eggs, with a pastel blue loose shirt. Making your way to the kitchen you decided a light snack would be enough for tonight, after that run and emotion on the way back home you had no energy to cook a proper dinner, not even microwave, it was also too late for it anyways you thought.

You put the snack bowl and a cup of water on the kitchen counter, looking to grab your phone. You noticed you still had the dirty flyer, forgot to drop it between the commotion maybe?

Placing it aside and unlocking your phone screen, you opened the ‘best friend's’ chat group

You. 'Hey guys, did you get any of that weird winter storm action today after school?'

Rob. 'Nah, it was a clear sky for me'

Itai. 'Same, also I was asleep all afternoon'

You. 'Strange, I got caught on this whirlwind on my way back home from the store, just my luck I guess >:('

Both of the boys. 'Lol yea'

Putting the phone down and chomping on some of the snacks, you thought about the events, it was indeed a clear sky earlier, only a couple of common clouds you took pictures of before it. You grabbed the phone again, quickly to see if any of the photos looked good.

"Pleasepleaseplease" you muttered in excitement, it was a very cute view, hopefully one picture captured it nicely.

And they did, a couple looked stunning, you smiled, thinking at least it was worth getting your hair all messed up by the wind, you were about to delete one picture it since it was blurry when you noticed a different kind of blur, it was gray with splashes of green in the corner, similar to what you saw at the funeral.

"There was nothing green on the other pictures, was it?" you looked through the other photos and they were pretty normal, full of pink, purple and blue from the sunset.

You looked back at the flyer

"Betelgeuse, betelgeuse, betelgeuse huh" You said in a playful tone, grabbing the torn paper from the counter, you felt a shiver, a strong one this time, well that was the opposite of a calming experience, but still the word felt strange when you said it, it wasn't like you hadn't said before, Orion was a popular constellation, and the Betelgeuse star was on it; but this time the air inside had a tense feeling.

All the lights went off after a second "Now a blackout? What's with today ugh" picking up your phone to use as a flashlight, after a couple of seconds before you could turn it on, all the lights came back again, but you almost had a heart attack when you saw someone standing in the center of the living room, enveloped in a green mist.

"FUCK wh- WHO THE FUCK-" you stuttered before turning around and grabbing the closest thing to use as a weapon, a wooden spoon used for beating eggs this morning "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE? WHO ARE YOU? GET OUT!"

The figure was a man, taller than you, dressed in a striped black and white suit, dark hair with green tints at the end, a wicked smile plastered on his face, he took a look around, then back to you, endless chills went down your spine when you met his eyes, you could feel the tense aura from before growing stronger, anticipating, colder.

"Well who might I be? You should know, you called my name baby! Glad to make some business with you tonight!" He said as he extended a hand and walked, floated? quickly towards a paralized you, frozen in place, you only managed to put the spoon up in self defense from whomever this man could be, the lights were out for just a few seconds, was he inside the apartment all this time?

"S-stop right there you!" tried to threaten the man with the wooden tool, he didn't seem to notice nor care, wrapping an arm around your shoulders, then placing a sloppy kiss in your face, petrified, you shivered and gripped the spoon harder, he felt oddly cold.

...Did he just kiss you? Who does he think he is??

"No no, no stopping now! We just got started cakes, and now that you said my name three times, I can finally interact with you and everything here in the world of the living! Gotta say thanks it's been real boring being invisible for so long lemme tell ya-"

*WHACK*

You hit the man in the head with the wooden spoon as hard as you could.

...the spoon broke.

The man's smile grew wider

[dreamerology]

i was tagged by the loml @123dream to answer these 20 get to know me questions! thank u for tagging me hehe 💕

🦋what do you prefer to be called name-wise?

elliot or el! i don’t rly have a preference for either

🦋when is your birthday?

october 9

🦋where do you live?

canada 🦫

🦋three things you’re doing right now?

i just got home from work so im listening 2 music, snacking on a muffin & catching up w my roommate

🦋four fandoms that have piqued your interest right now?

i would definitely love to have more people to talk abt books w but im not overly interested in being involved in any of the fandoms

🦋how is the pandemic treating you?

awful lol our govt is handling it so poorly & im so tired of constantly feeling on edge and anxious when im at work/having to take the bus and it just seems like an endless cycle which like ☹️💔 it’s been 2 years since ive seen my gf and who knows when we’ll be able to travel again….i also just miss walking around malls & going escape rooms & board game cafes, stuff like that

🦋song you can’t stop listening to right now?

honey by halsey 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 (the entire album really…)

🦋recommend a movie

castle in the sky <3

🦋how old are you?

21! 22 soon 🤢

🦋school, university, occupation, other?

i currently work at two post secondary libraries! been at the one for 2 years and the other for a year (ignoring the months i was laid off from both bc of covid 🙄)

🦋do you prefer hot or cold?

cold bc at least u can continue to layer up for warmth….my anxiety has decided this summer that heat makes me claustrophobic and triggers panic attacks so im glad the weather is starting to cool off

🦋name one fact others may not know about you.

ive never been stung by a bee/wasp so im terrified im actually allergic even tho there isn’t that kind of severe reaction in my family lmao

🦋are you shy?

yes but not even in the cute way more so in the annoying and useless in social situations way

🦋what are your preferred pronouns?

they/them! at the moment im also ok w he/him

🦋any pet peeves?

people who r on the phone while they’re at like a checkout or expecting help from someone idk how else to describe it but every time a student comes to check out something while on the phone and i also have to talk to them i wanna smack the phone out of their hand

🦋what’s your favourite “dere” type?

could not tell u the definition of one of them sorry

🦋rate your life 1-10. 1 being really crappy and 10 being the best you could ever be.

6 maybe??? in a (temporary) full time job in my field which will hopefully lead to something more!!! and our work schedules just changed so ill actually be able to see my roommates every evening instead of once a week :D i just got back from an absolutely wonderful road trip! ive also picked up reading again which makes me really happy & fulfilled….if the panoramic wasn’t happening n i had a trip planned to see noah it would be even higher also once i get a better hold of my anxiety i’ll be unstoppable

🦋what’s your main blog?

dreamerology

🦋list your side blogs and what they’re used for.

im not active on any of them anymore like im barely active here lmaooo

🦋is there anything you think people need to know about you before becoming friends with you?

sometimes i take a lot time to reply bc i overthink my messages rly bad if we’re just getting to know each other! but if we have something in common chances are i already consider us besties im just horrible at initiating convos

tagging some mutuals who r recently in my activity bc idk like anyone on here anymore 😢@softredvelvet @carnation-station @penpall @s00ft @leetaemn

[aclosetfan]

This is a really incomplete idea BUT it’s about Brick’s hat(s). And hopefully someone else finds this and enjoys it! More under the cut, it’s a long post :)

I think it’d be funny if boomer and butch get him a shitty novelty hat for birthday/holidays/etc because 1) they don’t know what to get him 2) they’re like 12 with four buck to their names. so they just go from charity shop to charity shop looking for ideas. Brick probably doesn’t ask for much (I don’t think any of them do. poor kid syndrome amiright? I personally never think they’d be well off in childhood).

So anyway butch and boomer are bumming through the charity shops and boomers like:

“Holy shit, Butch!”

“Wut?” Butch looked over pulling the charred and ruined Halloween mask that someone had donated for god knows what reason off his head.

“Dude it’s perfect!” Boomer came running from three aisle over, waving a garment around in the air.

“It’s a hat.” Butch pointed out bluntly, unimpressed, and pointed to the mask atop his head, “I think we should get this.”

“But it’s red!”

“He’s got one of those. Wears it frequently.”

“But not like this!” Boomer boosted, “See.”

Boomer turned the hat around, so Butch could see the bill of it. It was one of those novelty snapbacks, inscribed on the front was the playboy bunny logo.

“Dude.” Butch smiled, giggling with Boomer, albeit a little nervously.

He was familiar with the playboy bunnies work, it wasn’t like he was a virgin or anything (except he secretly was), but he had never actually seen a genuine centerfold spread like some of the older boys at the detention hall had talked about. When he thought of playboy, he thought of the Victoria Secret models he saw plastered to the side of the store at the mall. They made him feel weird and his hands would get all sweaty, so he tried his best not to look too closely.

“Dude we should get him this!” Boomer continued to smile, “It’d be, like, so funny.”

“Yeah.” Butch nodded, as his smile grew. He didn’t 100% get why it was so funny, but the idea of having something with the playboy bunny logo on it seemed cool to him. It made him feel kind of like one of the older boys.

Him and Boomer snickered all the way to the cash register, and when it was their turn to pay, Boomer nudged him ahead, ducking behind him with a giggle. He glared at his brother over his shoulder, but allowed Boomer to twist a nervous hand into the fabric of his oversized sweater (the one his brothers had bought him last year. They bought it 3 sizes too big cause he kept growing out of everything too fast. It was 1 size too big now). Boomer liked latching onto their sleeves when he got nervous.

He didn’t get what the big baby was so nervous about though. They were just buying a stupid hat. The lady cashier watched them with thinly veiled boredom and Butch threw the hat down on the counter.

Raising a penciled on eyebrow, the older women examined the hat, “Playboy, huh? You even know what Playboy is kid?”

The question made the back of his neck burn. He had never heard a lady say playboy before, it was weird. From behind him, Boomer pressed his face into the back of his sweater to muffle another giggle.

“Uh, duh.” He sniffed, “We know, lady.”

“Have you actually seen a playboy before?” The cashier snorted, ringing them up, “Not just the logo?”

“Yes!” Butch huffed, defending himself, “The Internet!”

(It was a semi-lie—they had tried looking it up on the internet, but Fuzzy didn’t have a computer at his cabin, HIM wouldn’t let them use any of his flashy spy monitors, Mojo was lame, and the library had parent controls)

“Surreee.” The lady drawled out and rang them up, “Dollar fifty.”

He didn’t make eye contact with her as he handed over a crumpled dollar bill and took two quarters from the take-a-penny-leave-a-penny. When she gave them back the hat, they ran out of the store like they had committed a bank robbery.

When Brick opened the present two days later, he threw the plastic bag it had come in to the side and frowned.

“A new hat?”

“Yeah,” Boomer nodded, putting down the cheap Polaroid camera Butch and Brick had shoplifted from a secondhand shop downtown (still too expensive to actually buy), and reached for the hat, turning it around in Brick’s hand, “but look!”

Brick’s smile grew, as the logo registered in his head. “Oh, shit,” their brother laughed, “is this playboy?”

“Betcha you won’t wear it.” He goaded his brother on as he tossed the new (used—looked like it was taken from Pokay High’s sports department) rugby ball from hand to hand.

“Betcha I will.” Brick shot back, carefully removing the ratty cap he had had since forever and replacing it with the new one.

“Sorta big.” Their brother murmured, adjusting the strap.

“Your fat head will grow into it!” Butch joked and Brick punched his arm.

“Shut up, dipshit.”

“Do you like it?” Boomer beamed, ignoring the bickering.

Brick looked at their brother with a smile, precious anger dissipating, “Yeah, dude, it’s funny.”

———————————————————

Then it becomes a thing//like Brick really loves his hat collection:

“Truckin’ ain’t easy.” Brick read out loud with a snort, and replaced the hat he was wearing with the new one.

He thought for a moment then shook his head no, “nah. Not today.”

He had so many hats to chose from, it was almost overwhelming. They were all basically offensive on every level and he tried to wear them all as often as possible. The highlight reel included:

Kitty gang

Swag.

Yolo.

Lmao.

Weed jokes. Lotta weed jokes.

Thrasher.

Fish love me. Woman fear me.

Met god. She’s hot.

Blow me for luck.

Beer drinkers get more head.

The carpets do match the drapes

FuCk

Birthday Bitch

Deadass fuck thots on god

Hello I am Mr. Cunt

Master Baiter

Drive fast. Eat ass.

At 17, he had a vibrant hat collection. Anytime his brother’s saw a red hat with a shitty gag, they snagged it for him. Recent political events had bestowed upon his brothers a plethora of new material:

Make racists afraid again.

My other hat’s tin foil

Made you look

The list went on. His fuck cops wasn’t popular with local authorities. And how could he forget his most favorite powderpuff girl cap. That pissed them off to no end.

“Brick!” Butch yelled down the corridor. They were at Mojo’s this week, “Hurry up!”

“Uuhhhhh,” he mumbled to himself, as he stared at his wall, ignoring his brother. He hung them all up to make it easier to chose. His collection covered the wall.

His hand floated left to the one that said FuCk, but the one that said bad hair day caught his eye and his hand twitched to the right, “uuuuuhh, hmmmm.”

He floated toward the ceiling to look at the top of the wall, “welllllll...”

They’d be fighting with the girls today and because he liked making Blossom mad, he figured he needed to chose something more crude.

“Oh my god!” Butch cried outside his bedroom door, “Just fucking pick one!”

“Mmmmm.”

“Brick!” Butch pounded on his door, “I swear to god, I’ll burn them all if you just don’t pick one!”

“HMMmmmmmm!”

“Brick, it’s been thirty minutes!” Boomer whined, joining Butch, “The girls are waiting, we can’t cancel on them again! We’re bad guys, but we aren’t bad guys.”

“Ahhhhh—“ he sucked on his teeth in thought, “five more minutes!”

His brothers groaned in unison from the other side of the door.

“This is your fault, Boomer.” Butch whined.

“How?!” Boomer protested.

“Cause I wanted to get him that mask.”

————————————————————

His hat—his first hat—is lovingly preserved. He can’t risk losing it or damaging it any further. Before they started buying him new hats, most of the boys misadventures (the chaos they did NOT plan) were dedicated to saving Brick’s hat from the clutches of (insert one-shot villain here). It’s his security blanket. He breaks it out on the lazy days in.

He does though often lose his novelty hats. A violent gust of wind will rip one from his hat or a fight will cause it to disintegrate. But because Brick considers being the hat guy a personality trait, I think he’d have a spare one on hand at all times:

“My hat!” He cried, as the tornado-like monster blew through Townsville, ripping his hat from his head, and then disappeared into thin air, “the fucker took my hat!”

“Brick!” Blossom cried over the wind, “calm down! It’s a hat!”

“Yeah my hat!” He argued back. He wasn’t fond of the idea that him and his brothers and the girls now had to cooperate with each other, but desperate times called for desperate measures. “Butch! Boomer! I want my hat!” He hissed and his brothers nodded, understanding immediately what he meant.

“Right!” Butch dropped Buttercup, forgetting whatever fight the two had found themselves in.

“Got it!” Boomer jumped up from where he had been sitting on Bubbles, squashing her to the ground.

“What was that thing!” Brick barked at Blossom and she wiped the blood from her nose.

“I only know as much as you do, considering it literally just happened. Maybe it has to do with air—“

She cut off and looked at him, as he adjusted his emergency back up hat onto his head.

“What!” He hissed when he realized all three of the girls were giving him odd looks.

“Dude,” Buttercup asked from the ground, “do...do you just carry extra hats around?”

“Of course I do!” He spat, disgusted that they’d think so low of him not to, “Extra hat,” he pointed to his head, “emergency beanie,” he pulled one out of his pocket, “and extra hair ties,” him and his brother lifted up theirs wrists. “We live by the aesthetic, we die by the aesthetic, anymore questions?”

“Yeah!” Boomer huffed in his defense, “what’s it fucking matter to you anyway!”

“Don’t you three have bigger issues to worry about then our business?” Butch hissed, kicking at Buttercup.

Buttercup rolled away from the kick, dodging it with a laugh.

“What’s so funny!” Butch demanded and Buttercup shook her head, ignoring Butch and pointing up at her sister.

“Holy crap! He really is your counterpart, huh? You guys are perfect for each other!” She laughed wheezing. 

“Hey!!” Him and Blossom bristled together, “Shut up!”

————————————————————

When he learns that over excessive hat use can lead to hair breakage and premature balding his heart breaks, so he starts buckling them to his belt loops instead when he remembers to give his hair a break.

[mldrgrl]

I've been re-reading your old works for the Revival like Recocering Nicely and Flannel Pajamas,....I miss them being an old married couple doing domestic stuffs so much, can you write something like that again?

Friday Night by: mldrgrl Rating: PG Note: Set during season 10, erasing any season 11 from the table

Fridays are full of anticipation nowadays.  At first, when they were just starting to get back on track, more often than not he was going home alone.  But, now, he can’t remember the last time Friday rolled around and she didn’t have her weekend bag with her.  There’s nothing he looks forward to more than a Friday night.

They take one car out to the house, usually his, leaving the other in the parking garage at work until Monday.  The ride is long, but comfortable.  Scully rests her hand on his arm across the seat and they talk about mundane things that aren’t about work.  Mulder wants to cut the grass if there isn’t any frost in the morning.  He loaded the crock pot with the stuff for that stew Scully likes this morning.  Hopefully he remembered to turn it on before he left.  That new thing Scully found online to weatherproof the windows came in.  He needs to put in the order for the wood for the stove to be delivered soon.

“An hour and change,” Mulder says, stopping the car in front of their gate.  “New record.”

“You really need to think about installing the remote.”

“I like the exercise.”  He leans close to her as he unbuckles his seatbelt and gives her a peck on the cheek.  She cups his chin with a backwards hand for a moment and then unbuckles her own belt.

Scully takes over in the driver’s seat as Mulder handles the gate.  She drives down the dirt road slowly, avoiding the dips and bumps up to the front.  She’s got her overnight bag from the trunk and Mulder’s dry cleaning that they stopped to pick up weighing her down by the time he’s made it to the car.  He takes the dry cleaning from her and places a hand to the small of her back as they ascend the porch steps.

“My nose is telling me I didn’t forget to turn the crock pot on,” he says, opening the door for her.

“Gonna change first.  Looks like we’re in for a beautiful sunset.  Want to eat outside?”

“Sure.”

He puts the dry cleaning away while she puts on a pair of sweats and a long-sleeved shirt.  He turns on the radio.  It’s still on the classical channel Scully last had it on and he leaves it be, coming into what sounds like The Planets Suite.  He thinks he recognizes Jupiter.  He thinks about setting up the telescope.

While Scully dishes out the stew, he changes into jeans and a light sweater.  Noticing a bit of a chill, he brings one of the blankets from the couch with him after he grabs the bowl left for him on the counter to join her.  She tucks it around her and they eat to the strains of Holst in the background as twilight begins its takeover.

They head back inside when it turns grey and too chilly.  Scully separates the leftover stew into two containers, one to store for leftovers for the weekend and the other to freeze for later.  She washes the dishes and Mulder dries.  

“Did you bring the paper in?” he asks.

“In my bag,” she answers.

“We need under 36 minutes to beat last week.”

“36 minutes and 14 seconds.”

“Across or down?”

“Down.”

They huddle close on the couch and Mulder opens the newspaper to the crossword.  He folds it appropriately while Scully starts the timer on her phone.  Mulder starts with the clues running across and Scully starts with the clues running down.  They have a goal of beating each week’s previous time.

“Oh, they’re being cheeky,” Mulder says.  “They’ve got the question marks in here.”

“You like the cheeky ones.”

“When they’re clever.”

After ten minutes, they switch directions.  

“Life source?” Scully asks.  “Is that the cheeky one?”

“You get the answer?”

“M-I-blank-blank-blank-N-blank-R-A-”

“Milton Bradley,” he answers, before she finishes.

“Clever or not?” she asks, filling in the blanks.

“They’ve done better.  Hey, you’re supposed to fill-in all the Latin clues.”

“Mulder, do you know how many 3-letter Latin 101 words there are?”

“How many end in O?”

“Too many.”

“I think it starts with an E.”

“Ego.”

“I should’ve known that.”

“I’ll say.”

He bumps her shoulder with his and she chuckles.  They switch for a second time a few minutes later and then they’re racing against the clock.  He puts down his pen when there’s nothing but a corner left.

“You always leave the Tolkein monsters clue blank,” Scully huffs.

“I didn’t have 5 down yet, it still could be orcs or ents.”

“Ents.  5 down is Etsy.”

“What the hell is an etsy?”

“Online craft store.  You know it, it’s where I got those bath bombs you liked.”

“The eucalyptus ones?  You should get more of those.”

“I’ll see if they still have them.  Time!”

“33 and 51 seconds.  High five g-woman!”  He grabs her hand when she slaps his and laces their fingers together.  “Seriously, though, you need to go to the etsy store and get more of those bath bombs.”

“Remind me tomorrow.”

“Movie?”

“I’m thinking a shower and then bed.”  She moves to stand, but he pulls her down to his lap.  She chuckles and drapes her arms around his neck.  

“Scully, do you remember back in the day when we used to pull all-nighters like it was nothing and now we’re lucky if we make it past nine?”

“Seems we used up all our reserve energy when we were young.”

“Younger, don’t go calling us old.”

“You brought it up first.”  She gives him a brief kiss on the lips and then he lets her go.

While she showers, he takes the newspaper to the recycle bin and sets up the coffee maker for the morning.  He checks the locks on the front door and the back door and pulls the shades in the living room and kitchen.  He pulls his sweater off as he heads upstairs and tosses it on the bed before he goes into the bathroom.  Scully has finished her shower and sits on the closed toilet in a towel, massaging lotion into her legs.  The room is humid from the shower and the mirror is fogged over.

“I set the coffee for 7,” he says, pulling his toothbrush and toothpaste from the medicine cabinet. “Too early?”

“It’s fine.”   She makes a noise and he turns.  She has her hands held out to him and he puts the toothbrush and toothpaste on the side of the sink and gives her his hands so she can massage the extra lotion into his hands and arms.

“Is this new?  It smells like oranges.”

“Yeah, some vitamin C thing a salesperson at the mall talked me into.”

“You hate the mall.”  He pastes his toothbrush and starts brushing his teeth.

“I do, but sometimes the Labor Day sales are too hard to resist.  2 for 1 bras at Victoria’s Secret, I had to go.”

“What, now?”  Mulder turns towards her and pulls the toothbrush out of his mouth.  Foam coats his lips.  She laughs lightly and shakes her head.

“Kidding,” she says.  “But, good to know you’re still interested in my lingerie.”

“I might be old, but I’m not dead.”

Scully smiles and stands on tiptoes to kiss the corner of Mulder’s mouth.  She pats his chest lightly and then rubs a bit of toothpaste residue from her bottom lip.  He turns to finish brushing his teeth, wiping fog away from the mirror to watch her move comfortably around the room and get ready for bed.  He waits until she’s dropped the towel and slipped her t-shirt on to spit and rinse.

She tosses his shirt at his head when he steps into the bedroom.  He grins and hangs it up and then they turn the bed down together.  He sheds his jeans and then opens the window just a crack to let some fresh air in.

“Almost time to pull out the flannel sheets,” she says, as he gets into bed.

“I’ll keep you warm,” he answers, wrapping an arm around her under the covers and sliding her into his chest.  She laughs and wiggles out of his hold as he tickles the back of her neck and shoulder with his lips.

Briefly, Scully turns her head back and after several soft kisses, she pulls away to turn over and shut off the lamp.  Mulder rolls onto his back and she settles on her side after punching the pillow flat a few times.  Five minutes pass and then she sighs.

“Are you still awake?” she asks.

“Mmhm,” he answers.

She turns over to face him and he turns his head towards her.  “I’ve been thinking about something,” she says.  “Something I think we need to talk about.”

“Okay.”  He turns over as well and folds his arm under his head.

“The lease on my place is up at the end of October.  I don’t think I’m going to renew.”

“Oh?  So, what are you thinking?”

“The commute out here is not ideal.  Especially with winter coming.  I was wondering if you might want to find a place in the city.  Or closer to the city.  Together.”

“Get rid of the house?”

“No, never.  This is...this is our home.”

He nods in agreement.  He’s always thought of it as their home, whether she’s been in it or not.

“I was thinking just a place we can be at during the week,” she continues.  “And we’ll still come out here on the weekends.”

He mulls it over.  As much as he wants to be with her and wants to return to the life they once shared, he has some reservations.

“Mulder?” she asks.  “You’re never this quiet.  What are you thinking?”

“You know I want this more than anything,” he answers.  “But, what if this is only working because you got the space you wanted?  And we’ve never done the living and working together thing before.  It would be new.  What if we recommit and then it becomes too much?”

She contemplates the ceiling for some time and he reaches out to stroke her hair and cup her cheek.

“I thought, at the time, that leaving was the right thing to do,” she says.  “I know that I accused you of being a weight that was pulling me down into your depression and despair, but in hindsight, it was the other way around.”

“I never felt that way.”

“I know, but I did.  I thought returning to medicine would be satisfying.  I thought it was the key to happiness.  Something normal.  Instead it just made me sad.  And then I thought leaving was the only way to fix it, but I was wrong.  Really, what I missed was us.  Being with you, working with you, just you and me.  I don’t feel whole without you.”

“Hey now, that’s my line,” he whispers, running his thumb over her cheek.

“It’s true.”

“So, we’re doing this?  Full time?”

“I’m ready for it if you are.”

“Bring it on, honey.”

She chuckles and they slide closer to rest their heads together.  Their legs tangle and arms move to hold on to each other.  He’s filled with a new sense of anticipation.  He won’t ever have to wonder anymore if she’ll be coming with him Friday nights.

The End

[pinkmangafish]

Noodles ... and a few surprises

Rating: General

Fandom: Psycho-Pass

Pairing: Kougami and Tsunemori (Shinkane)

Characters: Akane Tsunemori, Shinya Kougami, and pretty much everyone else alive at the end of PP3: First Inspector. 

Summary: Part 1 - Kougami collects Akane from the isolation centre and quickly realizes something is wrong. Part 2 - Kougami arranges a surprise party for Akane, but is that what it really is?

Author’s Notes:  I had hoped to finish this in time for shinkaneweek, but it kept growing. Please point out any glaring canonical mistakes, and if possible, I'll fix them. This is my second piece of fanfic, so I am very new to all of this. I find that I am torn between the relationship between Kougami and Tsunemori, and how the plot moves forward to, hopefully, an end to the Sibyl System.

NOODLES ...

Akane Tsunemori stepped outside for the first time in what seemed a very long time. Well, it had been … No, she was not going to think about that now. Today, though technically an enforcer with limitations on her movements, she was free. Free of that windowless room.  Free of the probing questions from the perfunctorily concerned doctors. Free of the constant surveillance. Free of the need to be on her guard even when she was asleep. Free to go outside and feel the sun and wind and rain on her body. She lifted her face to feel the sun, but it was already late afternoon and the sun had lost most of its warmth. Never mind. There was always tomorrow.

She dropped her gaze and saw the man waiting for her. She caught her breath. This was better than the sun on her face. Shinya Kougami was leaning against a car as nonchalant as ever.

“I’m here to get you.” he shrugged. “Sorry.”

She had half expected Shimotsuki to collect her or to at least send a drone for her, but somehow, she was not at all surprised to see him. She walked down a few steps and then stopped and looked up around.

“I’m hungry,” she announced.

He laughed. “Is that all you can say?”

She walked slowly over to the car and smiled up at him. There were some new lines there that she had not seen in all his visits to her. Most of the time, they had leant on either side of the door as they talked, but even so, she was surprised. She almost reached out and touched his face.

“Yes. Treat me to something,” she replied.

“Yes, ma’am,” He paused as if considering something. Then, abruptly, “I’ll drive.”

Akane nodded and got in the car. If she had expected him to start a conversation she would have been disappointed, but then, she knew him and was not. She did not feel the need to chat, either. Content to be with him she wondered if she was going to have the courage to say what needed to be said. But that was not a conversation to be held in the car. It could wait a little longer. For now, she stared at the city flowing past her window. As they got to areas that she knew, she saw signs of her time away in the shops and cafes that had taken the place of others: a florist where there had been a gift shop or a mall with a new name and look. This is what Yayoi, Kagari and the other enforcers must have felt like she thought. Some of them, she knew, had spent many more years than she had in the isolation center before being granted a reprieve of sorts. A life of boredom and isolation swapped for one of danger and death, but also friendship and the chance to feel like they belonged. Her thoughts abruptly changed direction. She wondered what Homura’s plans for her were. She was under no illusion that he was responsible for her freedom despite the Sibyl System’s claim to have made the decision itself. Assigning her to Shimotsuki as an aide had been a bold move. Staring into traffic, her head against the window, she questioned whether her and Homura’s aims were still in alignment or was he now playing a different game? And if so, was she now a pawn? Then there was Arata, and Kei and the new team of enforcers. So many new variables were in play. She needed to catch up quickly. And … she had to talk Kougami. She sighed heavily.

Kougami glanced at her. He was not comfortable with this pensive version of Akane but he knew her better than to try and distract her. He waited until the car had parked and his door was open. “Akane, we’re here. Let’s get some noodles.”

 She looked at him and then at their surroundings. She recognized the small mall as the one near her old apartment. How had they got here so quickly? She was out of sync. She was unreal and everything else was too real. Had she really been that lost in thought? She would need to be more careful, more alert. Her stomach growled. Noodles? Yes, of course he’d take her to eat noodles.

“I hope Thai is okay? The old ramen place closed down six months ago,” Kougami led the way across the street not waiting for her. She nodded. Then wondered how he know about the ramen shop. She could not remember having eaten there with him. He glanced down at her, “We’re practically neighbors now. I live in that block over there,” he pointed to a small apartment building behind them. So near, she thought.

The small Thai noodle shop was a reminder that the city, no, the country, was changing and changing rapidly. Immigrants were starting to open their own businesses and that, she knew, was a good thing. The restaurant was barely that, just a few plastic tables and chairs. Kougami led her over to a corner table by the window. She wondered whether he even realized he had assessed which table gave them the best vantage point. Probably not.

A waitress appeared with a menu and set down a bottle of fish sauce and a small dish of chili in vinegar. “Sawatdee, kha, Kougami-san,” she said giving Akane a quick, interested look.

Akane realized that he had been telling a story. “I’m sorry, Kougami, I spaced out. Who were you trying to hold onto?”

He looked at her steadily. She had seemed fine when she walked out of the isolation center. Now, though, he could see the signs of exhaustion in her face. “Oh, just some junked up trafficker. He’d been bringing in kids from … doesn’t matter. Except that to bring him down both Gino and I had to hold onto him while Kei shot him with a paralyzer.”

“No!” She looked at him in amusement, her attention finally on him. “You got shot with a paralyzer again?”

“Well, technically, Gino and I are secondaries. We were holding onto the perp, so … Kei wasn’t actually trying to shoot us,” Kougami smiled at her but his eyes were watchful.

“Hmmm, are you sure about that?” she asked. “You had a bit of a run in with him just a couple of weeks ago.”

“Ahh, you know about that?” Kougami shook his head. “I’m not saying that we’re friends now. Hell, I don’t even like the man that much. But we can work together.”

The noodles arrived. Tom yum goong, hot, spicy and delicious, she slurped slowly and steadily. She smiled at him, “Much better than AI hyper-oats.” Then her eyes fell back to the table and she was quiet again. She stayed still staring at the soup that remained in her bowl, but her eyes were moving as the thoughts and questions flooded her mind. At one point she looked up quickly at Kougami and opened her mouth, but then closed it, and dropped her head down again. She stayed like that for so long that Kougami began to worry.

“Akane, what is the matter? Please, tell me … if you can.” He leant forward so he could hear her, but she said nothing. “Akane, you are okay now. You are out. You are safe.”

To her surprise, Akane felt large, hot tears streaming down her cheeks. Bemused, she watched them as they slid off her chin and fell into the soup. She wondered reflexively what the soup would taste like; if she would be able to taste the salt from her tears. Then she felt a gentle hand drying her cheeks and looked into Kougami’s eyes. He seemed to become aware of what he was doing and started to pull his hand away, but she grabbed it and held onto him. His eyes widened as her grip tightened and then he stretched out his other hand.

She clung to him desperately, tears still falling and her breath uneven with sobs. All she could hear was that one word, “safe”. She was safe. She was safe. And yet, even though it was true, it was also a lie. She knew that the most dangerous part of the journey was ahead. And yet again, and yet again, she was safe. She held onto his hands for all she was worth.

Kougami began talking again, softly, in no hurry. His voice providing her with another anchor. “One time, in Tibet, I went on a raid with this guy, Dawa, I think his name was. Anyway, he was as tough as they come. Not nasty, just through and through tough. The kind of guy you are glad to have at your back or to follow. The raid went badly. Someone had leaked the plan and they were waiting for us. The fight was brutal, and we lost several people, all friends of his from childhood. One guy literally exploded in front of him as if he’d been hit by a lethal dominator, but Dawa just kept going. A natural leader. Eventually, we got the upper hand, got what we came for and escaped. It took us almost a week to get back. The whole time, Dawa just held it together. Two more died on that trek - one from his wounds and the other slipped into a crevice. Dawa didn’t flinch once, just kept going and kept his people together. When we got back to camp, one of his men was waiting for us. He handed Dawa the body of an old dog. This man, who could wipe off the blood of his friend and keep going, collapsed where he was and started crying like a child. I don’t know if he really did love that dog as much as that or if it was his way of grieving for his friends. I do know that keeping those kinds of feelings inside is a kind of death.” His voice trailed off.

Akane sighed deeply and pulled one hand away and mopped her eyes with a paper napkin. “Thank you, Kougami. I’m feeling tired. Can we go?”

She waited at the table while he paid the bill. By the time he returned, when she smiled at him, her eyes were almost clear. “Thank you for the noodles.”

“You’re welcome.”

Out on the street the strange hyperreal feeling returned. Colours were a little too bright, noises a little too loud and the sidewalk seemed to be moving under her. It was like walking in a distorted holo. She saw a street scanner and flinched. Kougami frowned down at her. Apart from when she had first started work as an Inspector, he had never seen her this unsure of herself. She put her hand into his and felt his fingers tighten slightly. Safe.

Her apartment was only a few minutes’ walk from the mall, so they left the car where it was. About halfway there, she realized she had forgotten her small bag of belongings. “My keys, they’re …” she began to turn back.

“It’s okay, Akane, Yayoi gave me your spare set. I’ll get your things later.”

She thought about asking why he had her keys, but then decided she could not be bothered. As soon as he opened the door, it was obvious. The underfloor heating was on and there was the unmistakable feeling of stepping into a clean apartment. She kicked her shoes off in the hall, walked into the living room and looked around. The large sofa where she had slept so many nights seemed enormous after the one in isolation. She looked over at the kitchen in the corner. There was even a bowl of fruit on the counter. She glanced up at him surprised, “Thank you, Kougami.”

“Well, it isn’t much. I just set the auto-cleaner to do its job and bought some fruit,” he shrugged, but she could see he was both embarrassed and pleased by her reaction.

“I’m tired.”

“Then I’ll leave you to sleep. I’ll come back with your things, but I’ll just leave them by the door,” he stepped back, but her hand did not let go of his. His expression remained neutral as she raised a finger to her lips and began to walk towards the bedroom. She gave a small shake of her head and her own expression was so serious he was in no doubt that this was not a seduction.

With her finger still against her lips, she let go of his hand and opened a small cupboard. When she pulled out a small, plastic, white cat with a pink bow he looked totally perplexed. She set the cat down and pushed a small button on the back, then held her fingers up as she counted down from five.

“Now we can talk. This little kitty has a jammer. Any bugs, and I am sure there are some, will pick up nothing more than a silent room,” she sat down on the bed. Another sigh.

“Where did you get that thing?” without thinking, Kougami sat next to her.

“Long story short? Shion.”

Kougami grunted. Then he shifted so he could look at her. “You said we could talk. So talk.”

“You know there are somethings that I can’t tell you? Not that I don’t trust you, because I do. I trust you with my life. But knowing those things will not only endanger you, but also me, and possibly others, and what we are trying to do.” She had taken hold of his hand again. Her eyes grew wide and very luminous. “But you are right about what keeping things in does to you. To me. Th … there is one thing I do need to tell you, Shinya,” she paused and then gave a little nod to herself. “I love you.”

Silence.

Then, as he registered and reregistered her words, “Say that again!” 

“I love you, Shinya,” another pause. She did not take her eyes from his, “And you love me.”

“Yes,” he breathed. “I love you, Akane. You have no idea how much.” He began to reach for her but stopped.

Akane frowned, “What’s the problem?”

He looked embarrassed, “Well, the effects of the dominator haven’t worn off yet. I’m, I’m not going to …, I mean, I can’t … I’m sorry.”

She smiled ruefully, “I have just put your life in more danger and that is what you think about? That can wait. This can’t. The most dangerous phase has begun. It is quite possible that one of us, even both of us, won’t see the other side. You know this.” She put her hand against his cheek as he protested. “And I have put us in more danger. Yes, yes, I have. There is no way we can hide a relationship, and I don’t want to, but it can be used against us. I’m so tired of being on my own, so scared that each time you walk away it might the last time I’ll ever see you and I never told you how much you mean to me. How much I love you. That I’ll be killed, or you will be. Maybe it was all the time I had to think in isolation that did it. But that thought kept growing inside me until sometimes it felt like I couldn’t breathe. Especially after you’d come to see me. I finally realized that I can’t go on without loving you, without being able to love you and yet I have to keep going to help bring down the System. So, I guess I’ve grown a little selfish. I couldn’t live with not telling you I love you. I do you, know? I love you.”

His eyes had never left hers as she spoke. The words rushing from mouth and her expression changing at the end from serious to joyous. She allowed him to pull her over to him. She wrapped her arms around his chest and dropped her head on his shoulder and sighed deeply. She breathed in his scent. He chuckled, “Hey, I’m the one that is supposed to be the hound.”

“You were never a hound. More a wolf,” she returned. The relief of telling him that she loved him was beginning to make her a little lightheaded.

“A wolf, huh? Well, that gives me a few ideas for tomorrow,” he dropped feather kisses across her forehead.

“Only a few?” she asked in a disappointed tone.

 “Oh, Akane, you have no idea,” he looked at her with a wicked smile.

  ... AND A FEW SURPRISES

Akane looked at herself in the bathroom mirror as she toweled her hair dry. She barely recognized the woman looking back at her. The muscles around her jaw were relaxed and her eyes shone. Even her hair looked fuller. Was this what she looked like when she was happy? And she was. Happier than she had ever been.

They had not slept much despite Kougami’s insistence that she needed to rest. Soon one or the other would start talking, words of love falling into the safety of the warm dark room. Or he would hold her hand so he could kiss every line on her palm again and again and only release it to kiss the other. Too long had they waited for this night, words tumbled from their lips and their whispers became a confession of hopes, loss, pain and then again hopes as life brought them together, tore them apart and reunited them. So many years had gone by and they had so much to make up for.

“Akane, food’s almost done,” Kougami called from the other side of the door. “Oh, and put some clothes on.”

She blinked and returned to the present. He was up to something. She opened the bathroom door and a blast of cold air hit her. Quickly dressing she joined him in the living room. “Shinya, why’ve you opened all the windows in the bedroom? And …” she took in all the food on the counter. “Just how hungry do you think I am?”

Her doorbell chimed.

“Oh, hell! They’re early,” He threw her a sly look. “Ah, you stay here, I’ll be right back.”

“Kougami, what have you done?”

“It’s a surprise,” and he was gone.

She wondered if he had ordered more noodles from the little restaurant to add to the mountain of food in front of her. Then she heard the front door open and the sound of several people shushing each other as they piled into her little hall.

Akane got up and, laughing, went to greet them.

“Akane!” said three voices at once.

Shino, Yayoi and Gino, if anything could make her happier on this day, then this was it. She hugged them.

Shion laughed, and poked Kougami’s ribs. “I see you’ve talked,” she said winking outrageously and laughed as Kougami went red. “Well, there is a sight I never expected to see. Shinya Kougami bashful.”

“Shion, Yayoi, you look amazing,” laughed Akane holding the latter at arm’s length. They were both wearing party dresses. Then she turned back to Ginoza, “Hello, Gino, it is good to see you. I hear that you got in the way of a paralyzer.”

“Ha! He told you about that, did he? Ignatov better watch out is all I can say. Right, Ko?”

“What? Oh, yes, Kei has it coming. Again.”

The doorbell chimed again. Akane looked at Kougami in surprise. “Who?”

 “And speak of the devil!”

Kougami came back leading a small group of people. “Everyone, Akane Tsunemori in person. Akane, you know Arata and Kei, and this is Maika Ignatov and Sho Hinakawa. The last two are Mao Kisaragi and Kazumichi Irie.”

“Hey! What about me? Why does no one ever introduce the old enforcer!” demanded Todoroki pushing his way forward. “Pleased to meet you, Inspector. I’m Tenma Todoroki.”

“Just Akane, I’m not an inspector anymore,” smiled Akane. “I remember seeing all of your photos in the files. It is wonderful to finally meet you all. I guess we’ll all be working together now.” The serious looks they all gave her made her pause. “I mean, I’m an enforcer now, even though I’m not assigned to Unit 1 …”  

Mao nodded at her teammates and they relaxed. “You’re welcome in Unit 1 any time, Tsunemori … Akane. Err …. I’m sorry if it’s rude, but we’re starving, and we don’t get to eat out very often. Come on, Irie.”

Todoroki grimaced, “Can’t take them anywhere.” But he and Hinakawa followed them quickly into the kitchen.

What was all that about? All three had become so serious in a blink and then back again. Looking around the room, she began to get the feeling that she was missing something obvious. Before she could begin to think about it, the doorbell chimed. Again. She glared at Kougami as he passed her to get the door. He smiled at her, but she could see he was getting a little tenser each time he went. And that was strange, she thought, it did not quite make sense.

“It will take a little time,” said Arata with his mouth full. He was bouncing from foot to foot and balancing a plate full of food.

“Sorry, what will?” she turned her attention to him.

“Being out. Getting your senses back as it were. But,” he glanced in Kougami’s direction, “you are already on the right track.”

Her eyes widened and she started to ask him what he meant, but he just beamed at her and slightly shook his head. So, something was going on. Well, she would trust them to fill her in when they could. Right now, she had a party in her apartment. Shion had taken control of the music, which was now loud enough to annoy the neighbors. Akane shook her head, that would not be a problem. It was the middle of the afternoon, no one would be home.

“Sorry, Gino, what was that?” She shook herself. Get a hold of yourself Tsunemori.

“I just said that Sugo and I are your neighbors. We’re sharing an apartment down the street.”

“Oh! That’s great! Are you in the same block as Sh… as Kougami?” she asked. 

Gino smiled, “No, we’re down the other way.”

She looked at him, then at Kougami, and saw that Sugo and Frederica had arrived. What were they doing here? In one sense, since Gino and Kougami worked with them it made sense to invite them as well, but …. somehow it felt more deliberate than that. Yes, something was definitely going on. Everyone was behaving normally. Normal for a party, that is, she thought. Mao and Irie were dancing with Yayoi and Shion, Sugo and Kei were playing a holo game and everyone else was chatting and eating.  

An arm slipped around her waist. “Are you enjoying yourself, Akane?” His next words were so low that even though he had bent to whisper them in her ear, she almost missed them. “Say yes.”

“Oh, yes,” She turned to look up at him and he smiled down at her; she did not miss the flick of his eyes at the wall. “Walls have ears,” he breathed.

She laughed, “Shinya, you wretch!” It was all she could think of saying. Of course, everything they were doing and saying was probably being monitored. She had been the one to point that out yesterday. So why remind her of it?

The familiar sound of her doorbell interrupted them. She raised her eyebrows questioningly. Kougami kissed her head. “Patience. You’ll see. This is a surprise party, after all.”

He wouldn’t have invited her parents or Kaori. Her parents had been distraught when she was arrested. They had been steadfast in their support for her and called all the time. Even so, this was not the right time for a family reunion. And Kaori had made it clear from her refusal to accept Akane’s call at the start of her sentence that she did not want to be associated with a latent criminal. So who else was there?

“Sorry we’re late, everyone. Work, you know,” beamed Homura with a nervous looking Shimotsuki beside him.

If Akane’s mouth dropped open she made a valiant recovery. “Hello, Sir. Hello, Chief. How good of you to come.”

Shimotsuki, to everyone’s surprise, rushed forward, threw her arms around Akane’s neck and burst into loud sobs. “Oh, Akane, I’m so, so sorry.” Akane instinctively hugged her sobbing boss.

A tiny whisper, “We have to talk. About It.”  

Akane pulled back and stared at Mika who returned her stare and nodded, only to sob even harder, “I really am sorry.”

Homura shot a look at Akane, “Let’s take her into the bedroom for some quiet. Arata,” he threw over his shoulder, “Could you bring her some water?”

Together, Akane and Homura led the still sobbing woman into the bedroom. Arata followed immediately with the water. “Here’s your water, Chief. Get some rest, we’ll all be next door.” Then he paused and shut the door but stayed in the room.

“Well, hopefully we’re safe,” he said. “If we’re not all arrested in ten minutes, I reckon Akane’s jammer is working.”

“Yes, sorry about all the subterfuge,” added Homura. “Here, Mika, have this.” He passed a now dry-eyed Shimotsuki a perfectly folded handkerchief.

Akane sat down next to her. “Mika, did I understand you? You know what Sibyl System is?”

Mika looked pale and nodded. “For a few years. And now, Arata, too.”

“We’re the only ones who know what it really is,” said Homura. “Though I haven’t actually seen it. My father did and he told me.”

“So is this a council of war?” asked Akane.  

Arata answered her. “Not quite, but we all,” and he nodded towards the door to include the rest of the party, “agree that somehow we need to bring it to an end. We just don’t know how yet.”

“So, it is not just the two of us?” asked Akane looking at Homura.

“It never was. I know people who will support us, but it is safer if you don’t know who they are. It is a reasonable bet that all the enforcers will help. While you were inside, we’ve been making all sorts of small changes so we can be ready.”

“You mean like getting everyone to live within a three-block radius?” suggested Akane.

Mika actually smiled, “Yes, exactly like that. Unfortunately, because of our positions, Shizuka and I can’t move, but it was surprisingly easy for SAD to arrange for their people to move here, and then Kei and Arata. Obviously, the enforcers have to stay at MWPSB.”

“For now, at least,” said Homura.

“Is that wise, though?”

“What is more natural than colleagues and neighbors getting together for lunch or dinner or to play a holo game?” smiled Arata.

Homura looked at the time. “This meeting is just luck. We had no idea you had a jammer, so when Kougami said he wanted to give you a surprise party this afternoon it seemed a bit unusal. But when we arrived, he showed us a note about the kitty. Hmm, I think we’d better rejoin the others. They’re covering our absence, but I don’t think we should push our luck. Arata, you and Kei had better come in a few days so Akane and I can give you an “official” briefing on things.” 

Opening the door, Homura pretended to check on Mika who said she was fine and would be out in a minute. As soon as they had all left, Akane pulled Kougami into the bedroom.

“You’ve been planning this all along?” she demanded staring up at him fiercely.

He grinned, “What you thought we couldn’t mange without you? Ouch!”

“I’ll do more than poke your ribs if you’re not careful, Shinya Kougami!”

His smile got bigger, “Akane, you couldn’t expect me and Gino and the others to do nothing. We knew that something was going on, but you couldn’t or wouldn’t say exactly what. Ouch! Ouch!”

Akane poked him in the ribs. He caught her hands and folded them together in his. “Akane, please, I had to do something. I was going crazy. I love you.”

She glared up at him, “Say that again!”

“I love you.”

She sighed happily. “Okay, I suppose we’d better join the party. How long do you think everyone will stay?”  

[kinksvt]

baby (m)

requested: 

anon: sub minghao (maybe involve some pretty collars and polaroids oops oops)

→ pairing: sub!minghao x dom!reader (f)

♕ summary: for you and minghao’s anniversary, you decide to surprise him and switch things up.

✱ warnings: pegging, dom & sub roles, overstimulation, uh anal? fingering?

✱ word count: 5.1k

It was the two year anniversary of you and your boyfriend Minghao today and you planned on giving him something he—hopefully—will never forget.

Since the time you knew him before dating, Minghao was always sweet and gentle. Even in the bedroom, he treated you like a doll and never hurt a hair on your head. He always gives and never expects things in return. Today you wanted to change that.

You had to admit, you have thought of taking charge in the bedroom, to "spice things up" as everyone usually says. You have on many occasions thought about what it would be like to control Minghao, to please him and have him obey your every order. To hear him beg, whine and pled for you to do something already. You could hear it all in your head already, his soft, innocent voice asking you to touch him, ride him-

"Y/N?" A voice said, interrupting your sinful train of thought.

"Yes? Sorry, I zoned out for a bit." You excused yourself, trying to fight the blush that threatened to take over your face.

Your friend looked at you curiously. You were out with your two friends, having breakfast and all you could think about was domming your boyfriend. What kind of weirdo were you?

Minghao was in the studio, helping to record for his group's upcoming album. He had been in the studio all day and sometimes all night for the past week. It worried you a bit because you knew how stressed he gets and how much pressure he feels during the process. So this gift for him would hopefully help in more ways than one.

"So Y/N, how's Miiiinghao?" Your friend said in a teasing voice, moving her eyebrows.

You smiled, "Well," you smirked. "He's good, but today is our anniversary and I'm planning on surprising him." Winking at the end you laughed to yourself, thinking about the plan.

"Ooh," your other friend said, nudging your arm. "And what are you planning you sex demon?"

Laughing, you gently pushed her elbow away. "I don't kiss and tell."

Your friends chuckle and you three continue to eat.

Minghao texted you later on when you were walking with your friends.

[2:41 pm] Haohao: Hey baby, session is going good, hopefully I'll be done before 11 tonight.

[2:42 pm] You: That's great! I have a surprise for you when you get home btw hehe

[2:42 pm] HaoHao: Oh? And what might that surprise involve?

[2:43 pm] You: Looks like you'll have to wait and find out ;) I love you, see you tonight <3

[2:43 pm] HaoHao: You are such a tease. I love you too, see you tonight baby.

You smiled to yourself and continued walking with your friends to your next destination.

And throughout the whole day you had to excuse yourself for daydreaming. You couldn't get the thought of what you'd do to Minghao later that night out of your head for the life of you.

...

After a long day of hanging out with your friends at various shops and malls, you had finally come home. You carried a few bags that had new outfits, including the one you found to hopefully wear for Minghao when he also came home. You brought your bags up to you and Minghao's shared room, flipping on the light switch and glancing at the clock. It was only 8 p.m and you groaned slightly, you still had 3 hours until he came home. You pondered on what you would do to pass the time. Before you could think, your phone went off, startling you. "Hello?"

"Y/N," a memorable voice said.

"Minghao! What happened? How come you're calling from a different number?"

"My phone died so I asked to borrow Jihoon hyung's phone. I'm just calling to tell you that I should be done in about half an hour!"

"A half hour? It's only 8, how could you be nearly done already?"

"Well, I might've mentioned that today is our anniversary and the boys might've decided to let me go early." Minghao said, followed by a laugh.

"That's great!" You paused for a moment, lowering your voice slightly, "I'll be here waiting for you, baby." Whenever you talked like that to Minghao you knew would effect him and give him a slight hint at what's in store for tonight.

It must have worked because Minghao hummed, something he did when he was flustered or horny. "I can't wait."

With that, you hung up and began getting everything ready. You ran around the room, looking through drawers, putting things away, cleaning and making sure everything looked nice for when your boyfriend arrived.

...

As soon as you finished, you heard the front door shut, followed by a call of your name. You glanced in the mirror as you wore the new set of lingerie you bought for tonight, a shade of dark blue that Minghao just adored you in. You slowly walked down the stairs, seeing the latter taking off his shoes and stopping in his tracks once he noticed you.

"H-Holy shit," Minghao stuttered, taking in the way you looked—swallowing harshly. He suddenly felt a wave of blood rush down south and he chuckled shyly. "You look amazing, Y/N."

You smiled confidently, "Thank you baby. Now, why don't we go upstairs, and I tell you what my surprise is for you, hm?"

Minghao merely nodded innocently, following behind you like a puppy. At first, you were nervous that you wouldn't be able to get into the dominant headspace. But with how cute and excited Minghao seemed, it made it so much easier. You walked into the bedroom, where Minghao's eyes widened as he stared at your shared bed. On it was a collection of three different types of pretty collars you knew would look good on him.

You two have talked only once, maybe twice, about the things you liked. You expressed things you were into, and so did he. You never forgot that night—after a ton of drinks—when Minghao confessed the kinks of his submissive side. He slurred each word, that he's dreamt of being pegged by you, dominated by you, and collared. You remembered it clearly, despite your mind clouded by the alcohol, because of how much it turned you on to imagine Minghao being the putty in your hands with which you could do whatever you wanted to.

Minghao's mouth opened and closed slightly, clearly at a loss for words.

Smirking, you chose a collar that you noticed peaked his interest. It was a simple pink collar with the words "Baby" engraved on it. You grabbed it and looked at your boyfriend, noticing the bulge in his pants. "Excited?"

Minghao nodded aggressively as he looked up slightly so you could put the collar on. Minghao was more than excited. He could feel his heartbeat in his ears, his cock wouldn't stop twitching and—for the love of god—he couldn't wait to see what else you had in store for him.

"Strip for me," you said after the collar was secured around Minghao's neck. He obeyed and lifted his shirt, taking it off, quickly followed by his pants. You stopped him before he took off his boxers, "Let me." You sunk to your knees, holding eye contact with him as your fingertips lightly traced his hips. Minghao shuddered and his eyes closed slightly. You let your fingers slip under the band of his boxers and began pulling them down painfully slow.

After you were done with being a tease, his boxers were off and you took a moment to admire him. He's so pretty, you thought. You smiled and told him to lay on the bed as you said there was one more thing you needed to get. Minghao laid on the bed, resting on his elbows. "What are you doing!" You heard him shout from the room. He was more than excited—ecstatic, glad that you decided to surprise him—especially like this. His cock was already hard, slightly leaking a bit of precum.

You returned with a polaroid camera. He had a confused look on his face. "This," you paused, "is for me." Knowing Minghao as a photographer on the side gave you this idea. You knew he would be able to appreciate the human's naked body, not seeing it as something so lewd but as something beautiful. Minghao has taken pictures of you during sex before, and you couldn't lie, it turned you on knowing he most likely still has them saved somewhere in his phone. After he showed you the pictures, you actually began to see your body in a different, better light.

"Y-You're gonna take pictures, of me?" Minghao questioned curiously,

You giggled and instead of responding, you held the camera up to your eye and took a photo. A flash temporarily blinding Minghao, making him blink while blushing. "You're always taking pictures of art, and now, I'm gonna do the same." Smiling, you continued to capture Minghao from various angles. One was of his neck and collar, another of him looking at the camera a certain way that made your clit throb, one of his torso, another one of his red-tipped cock, and more. You took about seven pictures, not wanting to waste anymore time. "You ready for your next surprise?"

Minghao nodded, letting out a shuddering breath.

You smirked and put down the camera on the nightstand, near all of the rest of the pictures that was taken. You walked closer to him, climbing on top of him. Minghao's hands instinctively went to your waist and you captured his lips in a kiss. The kiss was soft, yet needy. Both of your tongues gliding against each other with heavy breathing and sloppy noises following suit. You felt his cock brush against your clothed core, making you and Minghao moan softly. Breaking the kiss, you began grinding yourself against his bare cock, loving how hard he was already. Your hands smoothed his chest while he watched your every move, eager to see what you would do next. Minghao gasped as your fingers toyed with his nipples, never knowing how sensitive they really were—nor how much it would turn him on. "You like that baby?"

Minghao swallowed a moan, nodding and pushing his head back into the sheets. "Y-Yes," he whispered.

You continued to grind against him as you leaned down to leave fresh hickeys onto the skin above the collar around his neck. "We're gonna try something new tonight baby." Minghao made a noise, impatiently waiting for you to continue. You stood up and took out a box you had under the bed, filled with the toys you two used on special occasions and whatnot. Minghao sat up and looked at you curiously. His hair was in disarray, his pupils blown notably and light purple hickeys began to develop—thanks to you. You dug through the box and took out a bottle of lube, along with one of the smaller dildos. Minghao's eyes nearly popped out of his head when he connected the dots and realized what was going to happen. "Lay on the bed," you ordered yet in a sweet voice.

Minghao shuffled around the bed and did what you told. You got on the bed in front of him, running your hand up and down his chest. His cock laid against his abdomen, the tip an angry red while his cheeks matched the color. "What are you gonna do to me?" He asked while shifting the pillows behind him so he could watch what you do to him.

With a chuckle, you opened the bottle of lube, slowly spreading it on two of your fingers. "I'm gonna prep you baby." You gripped his thigh, making him open his legs wider. Your middle finger traced around his hole, making him gasp at weird feeling. You shushed him, "I want you to relax for me honey, okay? It's gonna hurt for a bit, but it'll hurt worse if you're too tense."

Minghao took a deep breath, "I-Is there a safe word?"

You smiled at how wrecked he already sounded. "How about red?"

He nodded and told you to give him a moment. Minghao took a couple more deep breaths.

Between those breaths, you decided to help him by taking his length in your hand, making his breath hitch. You slowly stroked him, swiping your thumb across his tip. You used the lube that coated your fingers to slick his cock, hearing his muffled moans slightly. "That feel good, Hao?"

"Y-Yes," he said breathlessly, sounding so cute yet so hot.

You stopped momentarily, to coat your two fingers on your other hand with the lube and continued to stroke Minghao. You wanted to make sure that he would still be able to relax and enjoy both sensations. When you knew he would be fine, you put a few drops of lube on his hole, making him gasp once more.

"I-It's cold," he giggled.

You laughed slightly, "Alright baby, you ready?"

After Minghao silently nodded in response, you slowly inserted one of your fingers inside of him. He winced, trying to focus on the feeling of your hand wrapped around his cock rather than your finger inside of his ass. He had to admit, it did hurt, and feel weird, but he wanted this—and you. The whole situation was new and slightly strange for the both of you but Minghao adapted quickly.

After a couple of seconds, Minghao told you to move. You obliged and slowly began to thrust your finger in him. "You okay, baby?"

He breathed out heavily, "Y-Yeah."

You moved your finger inside of him at a set pace, making sure not to go too fast. "Ready for another?" Your thumb swiped the tip of his cock once more, making him moan before muttering a quiet yes. You added your other finger even slower than the first, nervous that Minghao would tell you to stop because it hurt. But after hearing the whine that tore out of his throat instead, threw those thoughts out the window and sent a wave of pleasure straight down to your core. "That feel good, Hao?"

"Y-Yes. P-Please, a little faster," he breathed out, swallowing a moan.

Smirking, you tightened your grip on his cock, slipping it in between your index and middle finger and stroking him. Minghao whined more, his moans only making your underwater damper. You were so ready to ruin him that it made your loins ache with heat. You looked up at Minghao, seeing his eyes screwed shut and his eyebrows furrowed together while his mouth hung open, releasing quiet breaths. His chest rose up and down, a thin layer of sweat covering it. You pushed your finger further in Minghao, curling ever so slightly. He cried out, grasping the sheets and biting his lip. "You're doing so good, baby." You breathed, stroking Minghao's cock faster.

Minghao gulped, "T-Thank you," he paused afterwards. "W-What should I call you?"

Your brain stuttered for a moment. You hadn't thought of Minghao calling you anything other than your name or a simple pet name. You racked your memories of names subs would call their doms.

Girls can be called master, right? Yeah, who cares? You're in charge. "Call me master, baby boy."

"T-Thank you mast- ah!" Minghao moaned when he felt your fingers curl in him once again and thumb swipe the tip of his cock. He was getting close, feeling all sorts of sensitive to the new feeling. Minghao would've never guessed he could get off with your fingers in him rather than the other way around, but boy could he get used to it.

Your hand continued to work on his cock, moving at the right paces that you knew would help bring him closer to the edge. Your fingers moved in and out of him, going deeper and curling at the right moments. You were a pro, Minghao thought. Of course you would be. You spent plenty of your years single and lonely, only having your fingers to satisfy your needs. He never knew fingers could feel so good..

When Minghao's moans began getting shorter and higher, you warned him. "You can only cum when I say so, if you want to you have to ask. Got it?"

"Y-Yes Master, can I cum?" He looked down at you with cute, innocent eyes.

You smirked, "Only good boys with manners can cum, baby. Hold it." Maybe you were being a bit harsh, but this new role brought out a different side of you that you didn't know you had.

Minghao tried to shuffle away from your hand and fingers, struggling to hold back his orgasm. He whines softly, his head thrown back and his eyes shut tight.

"If you keep moving baby, you won't cum at all." After that, you had pressed another finger inside of him gently and continuing to move in and out of him.

Minghao whined louder, "Please, please, Master, please let me cum." His head writhed against the pillows behind him, his eyebrows and eyes tight together.

Your eyes widened slightly, shocked at how desperate Minghao was. You felt him pulse around your fingers and you thrusted them inside of him faster. His whines were achingly loud, making your clit throb. "Cum for me, baby."

As soon as Minghao heard those words, he released the loudest moan, stilling completely and cum shooting out of his cock. His head pushed against the white pillows, his collared neck exposed as you watched his adam's apple bob. Minghao's mouth hung open, small gasps exiting his throat.

"Such a good boy for me, Hao. Aren't you?" You glanced at him, his eyes shut and chest falling up and down as he nodded slightly.

"Y-Yes, Master."

You hummed as you released your hold on his softening cock and wiped your fingers off. "We're not done yet, baby." Minghao swallowed, sitting up. His eyes were hooded, eyes darker and pupils dilated in a way that made you eager to wreck further. "On your hands and knees." You purred as you grabbed the dildo you had set on the bed before you two started. Minghao did as you asked, facing toward the headboard and waiting for your next command.

"I-I'm a little nervous," he confessed quietly.

You smiled at his honesty, resulting in you leaving a kiss of reassurance on his shoulder. "I'm right here, baby. If anything hurts too much or if you want to stop at any time, please just let me know, okay?"

Minghao looked back at you, biting his lip anxiously. "You wouldn't be mad?" He raised his eyebrows curiously.

You couldn't help but smile larger at his cuteness, "Of course I wouldn't honey. I would never pressure you into doing anything that you weren't comfortable with." Your heart swelled with love for Minghao as you opened the bottle of lube once more and began to spread it along the dildo.

"E-Even if," he trailed off, hesitant to say what he was planning to, "if, you were in the middle of fucking me?"

Your action stuttered for a split second, caught off guard by how innocent Minghao sounded saying something so explicit. "Y-Yes," you replied. "Even if I was fucking you, if you wanted to stop, I would. Just say the word, baby."

"Okay," was all he added before turning back to the headboard.

"Do you think you're ready for this, or do you want my fingers, baby?"

Minghao shuddered at the way you asked, feeling dirty about the whole situation. But he was ready for something just slightly bigger, and his cock twitched at the thought of you fucking him the way he's done to you countless times before. "I-I'm ready," he said.

"Are you sure?" You questioned when you noticed he seemed a little hesitant again.

"I'm sure, I promise."

You nodded silently as you took some more lube and spread it on Minghao's entrance, making him moan slightly. You pressed the dildo against him. It was a smooth light pink dildo that Minghao had gotten you months ago for your birthday, and what you almost forgot was that it doubled as a vibrator too. You looked at the bottom of the dildo, seeing the switches and modes of vibrations it had. You smirked as you eased it inside of him slowly.

Minghao winced, "I-It feels w-weird." Minghao closed his eyes, trying to relax somewhat.

Before you were going to say anything, you let the dildo slip inside of him until the hilt stopped you. "How are you doing?"

"Mm, I'm okay, give me a second." He breathed in and out of his nose, before a moan choked out of his throat.

You had switched the toy on, starting at the lowest setting. You wanted Minghao to feel good and help him ease up. "This should make things feel a little bit better." You ran your hand down his back, gripping his ass.

Minghao moaned aloud again as he bucked his hips forward. "A-ah, i-it feels, s-so good."

You tugged on Minghao's collar, making him choke slightly as you pulled him upwards to kiss him. Minghao held the side of your face with his hand, his head strained towards you as your tongues mingled together. You bit the bottom of his lip, earning a moan from him and making you smirk in return. Your hand snaked down his body, gripping his cock. "M-Master," he breathed, gasping as he felt your thumb swipe across his slit.

"Yes, baby?" You teased, stroking him slowly.

He bit back another moan, "P-Please, m-move it."

"You want me to move the toy in you, baby boy?"

Minghao whined at the pet name, nodding his head shyly. "Please, Master."

You smiled at how obedient he was. You obliged and gripped the base of the buzzing dildo. Slowly, you began to move it out of Minghao and easing it back in. You heard him let out a long, drawn out moan. "Like that?" You questioned, seeing him move his hands and lay on his forearms.

"F-Faster," he rasped. His breathing was heavy, shallow as he gripped the sheets from pleasure of the vibrations inside him.

Doing as he told, you began to thrust the toy inside of him a bit faster. Hearing his moans was making your pussy ache even more, knowing for sure there would be a dark, wet spot on your underwear. Your clit developed its own heartbeat, only beating harder after each moan that slipped out of Minghao's pretty lips. You thought of those lips around your clit, biting back a moan. You wanted this to go faster, faster so that Minghao would cum, then make you cum.

You added a bit more lube to the exposed part of the dildo, pushing it back inside him. You moved the toy quicker, hearing Minghao whine each time the base hit against him. "Fuck, that f-feels so good, Master. P-Please, don't stop." Your finger flipped the switch to the second setting, the vibrator buzzing faster and a bit harsher.

Minghao let out a surprised cry, scratching at the sheets. He let out broken moans, one following after another.

"You close again, baby?" You grabbed the toy and began fucking him even faster, making him moan louder.

"Y-Yes.." he whispered, his face laying against the pillow while his ass was up in the air for you.

"Remember what I told you." You merely said, relentlessly thrusting the vibrator deep inside of him.

"Please! Please, please Master! Can I cum? I-I'm so, close." He begged, looking back at you on his hands with his eyes slightly glossed over while his cheeks developed a dark pink hue.

Minghao's hair was tussled, his bangs covering his eyes, along with his flushed face, you couldn't resist. "Go ahead."

He came with a loud, drawn moan, bordering a scream. His body twitched as he stilled and fall back onto the pillow under him. The room was silent minus Minghao's heavy breaths and the buzzing of the vibrator still inside of him. You turned the toy off, slowly pulling it out of him. Minghao gasped at the friction and sighed when it was out. You cleaned up most of the cum that had landed on the sheets under him, not wanting him, or yourself, to lay in it.

"You okay, baby boy?" Rubbing his back, you shifted next to him to look at his face, making sure you didn't hurt him.

He quietly nodded, "I'm perfect," he said.

You moved closer to him, capturing him in a slow, sensual kiss. He moaned into the kiss as your tongue glided over his. You pulled away slowly, "You've been very good for me, Hao." You got up from the bed, rummaging through the box again and taking out something that was out of Minghao's view.

"Mhm?" He said, waiting for you to continue. You turned to face him again and he visibly and audibly swallowed. "You said that you've wanted me to fuck you before, right?"

Minghao was speechless, mouth opening and closing, unable to form words. You wore a strap-on that you had bought weeks ago in preparation for tonight, and you couldn't wait to see his reaction—which frankly is better than you could've imagined.

Minghao's cock twitched as he recalls the night he confessed that to you. Just a moment ago with the dildo was incredible but having his own girlfriend fuck him? He could feel another orgasm coming already. He nodded his head once he got out of his thoughts, eager for you to be inside of him.

"You're gonna be good for me, right baby?" You said getting back on the bed and positioning yourself in front of him. He nodded as you grabbed a pillow for him to lay on top of. "Good. And I hope you know I'm just as excited for this as you are."

Minghao's face began to blush whilst his ears did the same, a cute habit that you always adored about him. "R-Really?"

You nodded as you spread the lube along your strap. Minghao gulped, letting out a whine. "H-Hurry, p-please. I-I want you, in me already." He said, voice lowering to a whisper as he confessed his needs.

Holding back a moan, you looked at him with a lustful stare. "Desperate for me to fuck you, aren't you baby?"

Minghao moaned at your words, feeling his cock twitch. "Mhm," he hummed.

You did as he so cutely said and gripped his thighs, slowly easing yourself into him. He winced slightly as you watched his face intently, keeping an eye out for any uncomfortable expressions. Neither of you could believe this was happening. Out of both of your comfort zone's yet still feeling somehow natural.

"You okay?" You asked as your strap filled him up to the hilt.

He nodded, his eyes shut. "You can move," Minghao said timidly.

"Are you sure baby?" You were afraid you would hurt him or get too caught up in the moment and hurt him.

"Please, Master, fuck me." Was all he said, his words and voice sending a strong pulse to your clit. Everything that you thought before those words left Minghao's mouth, were long gone. You clenched onto his thighs and began doing as he told you to.

Slapping noises filled the room, along with Minghao's moans with each thrust inside him. You kept your eyes on his, seeing every detail and feature that appeared on his face. "Such a dirty boy for me, aren't you, Hao?"

Minghao threw his head back, letting out a high pitched whine, "Y-Yes, Master. O-Only for you." He said, his mouth gaping open.

It was strange to be on the receiving end of what would usually come out of your mouth when Minghao would fuck you the way you are to him. It was strange, but it gave you a whole new sense and feel of power that left you craving more.

Your hips snapped against his as you took one of your hands and grabbed his length—which was leaking profusely onto his stomach—and began to jerk him off while you fucked him. Minghao's face contorted in a state of pleasure you had never seen him in. He gripped the sheets so hard, you could see the whites of his knuckles. "Such a good boy for me, baby."

Minghao moaned at your words, biting his lip. He was so hard and so turned on and so close to cumming again, it embarrassed him. His hand wrapped around your wrist, stopping your movements. "P-Please," he gasped. 

"Please what, baby?" You asked, slowing down your hips slightly.

"Just, f-fuck me, please." He stuttered, swallowing dryly and letting out a broken moan.

You smirked, "Remember who's in charge here, baby boy." And without saying anything else, you bucked your hips faster. "Like that, baby?"

"Yes, please. H-Harder." Minghao grabbed one of your hands that was on his hip and intertwined your fingers together. 

You smiled, contradicting what you were doing to Minghao at the moment. "You're so cute baby, am I fucking you good?"

He panted, eyes squeezing shut. "Yes! You're fucking me s-so good Master, p-please don't stop. I-I'm close."

You let go of Minghao's hand to move your position. You knew that there was a certain spot in you Minghao would hit when he moved your legs over his shoulders--so that's what you did. You moved his legs onto your shoulders and shifted your position, hopefully hitting inside Minghao deeper.

Minghao yelled, "R-Right there! F-Fuck, I-I'm gonna cum-" Minghao grabbed your arm, gripping it tightly as he shoved his head into the pillow. His hips twitched and he felt his eyes roll to the back of his head. Cum shot out of his cock and onto his stomach, also splashing onto his collar. He let out a whine, developing into a moan that broke as his voice got higher. Minghao collapsed slightly, letting out a huff of breath.

You laughed slightly, seeing him worn out and sweaty, not even caring that he came without your permission. His hair stuck to his forehead, tiny droplets falling onto his cheeks while a layer of sweat covered his bare torso. You slowly pulled out of Minghao, making him wince. You tossed it onto the floor and stood up to make a trip to the bathroom to get a wash rag to clean Minghao up.

When you returned, you took a second to admire him. You quietly grabbed the camera off the bedside table and took a quick photo. Minghao seen the flash and felt your presence and turned to you. He giggled, "That was, probably the best anniversary gift you've ever given me." He said, out of breath.

You chuckled as you approached him, cleaning off the semi dried cum on his stomach. "I'm glad that it didn't go south."

Minghao hummed, "You didn't cum though." He mentioned, taking off his collar and rubbing his neck slightly.

You waved a hand at him, signaling that you didn't mind. "You can make it up to me on our next anniversary."

He smirked, and grabbed your hand, pulling you on top of him. "I'll make sure you can't walk for weeks, baby girl."

--

a/n: wow i finally posted! hope u guys enjoyed this, i know i did ;)

[lovemesomesurveys]

Where were you 3 hours ago? Right here in bed; sleeping.

Who are you in love with? No one.

Have you ever eaten a crayon? Nah, I wasn’t that kid.

Is there anything pink within feet of you? Yeah, a shirt.

When is the last time you went to the mall? A couple weeks ago.

Are you wearing socks right now? I’m always wearing socks.

Do you have a car worth over $2,000? I don’t have a car at all since I don’t drive.

When was the last time you drove out of town? I never have, personally, but the last time I went out of town was this past Wednesday.

Have you been to the movies in the last days? It was a couple weeks ago.

Are you hot? I’m not hot in terms of attractiveness nor am I currently hot temperature wise.

What was the last thing you had to drink? Water.

What are you wearing right now? Black pajama shorts with Baby Yoda print and a green t-shirt dress with a little Baby Yoda in the upper left corner and “The Mandalorian” written across the top on the back in all caps.

Do you wash your car or let the car wash do it? --

Last food that you ate? Ramen and half a bologna sandwich.

Where were you last week at this time? Right here in bed.

Have you bought any clothing items in the last week? Yes.

When is the last time you ran? Uhhhhh.

What's the last sporting event you watched? I catch tiny bits here and there of the olympics when my dad is watching it, but I really have no interest in it.

What is your favorite animal? Dogs and giraffes.

Your dream vacation? I want to travel and do different things.

Last person's house you were in? One of my aunt’s house.

Worst injury you've ever had? The one that made me a paraplegic. 

Have you been in love? Yes.

Do you miss anyone right now? Loved ones who have passed away. Last play you saw? The Phantom of the Opera a few years ago.

What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex? Haaa, there’s nothing alluring about me.

What are your plans for tonight? Nothing out of the ordinary.

Who is the last person you sent a MySpace message or comment? I have no idea, it’s been well over a decade since I’ve been on Myspace.  Next trip you are going to take? Hopefully, I’ll be going to the beach again sometime this upcoming week.

Ever go to camp? I’ve been to science camp and Girl Scout camp.

Were you an honor roll student in school? Yep, all throughout.

What do you want to know about the future? I don’t know to be honest because the future scares me.

Are you wearing any perfume or cologne? Nope.

Are you due sometime this year for a doctor's visit? I see doctors regularly.

Where is your best friend? She’s still asleep.

How is your best friend? Stressed about some things, but doing okay.

Do you have a tan? Ha, so when I went to the beach last week of all places just the tops of both my hands got sunburned, which then turned into a tan. That’s all I got lol. I was sitting in a tent for awhile and I was wearing a jacket because where we were was pretty cold near the water (I loved it, though), plus I was wearing leggings, so I was covered except for my hands and I guess with my positioning the sun hit right on top of ‘em just right.

What are you listening to right now? An ASMR video.

Do you collect anything? Giraffe stuffed animals and knickknacks, key chains, pins.

Who is the biggest gossiper you know? Hmm.

Last time you got stopped by a cop or pulled over. Why? I’ve never been pulled over by the cops before. <<<

Have you ever drank your soda from a straw? I drink all my drinks with a straw.

What does your last text message say? I don’t feel like checking.

Do you like hot sauce? I loved hot sauces, but I can’t eat spicy stuff anymore. :( I can only handle the really weak stuff, like the ones you get from fast food places that only have less than 2% of anything spicy. I’ll take what I can get, though.

Last time you took a shower? A couple days ago.

Do you need to do laundry? No.

Are you someone's best friend? No.

Are you rich? Nope. What were you doing at 12 AM last night? I think I was coloring.

If you were an ice cream flavor what would you be? *shrug*

What Starbucks drink would you be? I don’t know.

If you could go to any college which one would you go to? I went and graduated college already, I’m good.

What's your favorite tv show at the moment? I have several.

Do you wish you lived in a different state/ city? Yes.

would you rather have chocolate ice cream or vanilla? Vanilla, for sure.

What's you best feature? Nothing.

Are you smart? I feel I’m just very average.

Are you stupid? I feel I am in some ways. Like, some of the things I do or don’t do I’m like, ‘wtf is wrong with you dumbass??’

Are you getting tired? It’s just now 9:02AM and I’ve only been up for less than an hour so I’m still feeling sleepy.

What's your name? Stephanie.

Age? 32.

Do you prefer to date people who are younger or older? Older.

What's most attractive about another person? Depends on the particular individual person, I’d say. <<<

What's your favorite food? Ramen, garlic parm and lemon pepper boneless wings from Wingstop, chicken tenders, over-easy eggs, especially with country gravy, pizza, spaghetti and meatballs, pesto pasta, bologna and turkey sandwiches, chips and dip...

Would you rather go on a one on one date or a group date? Both, it just depends. 

What's your fav. drink? Coffee, Coke, Cherry Coke, Pepsi, Wild Cherry Pepsi, Dr. Pepper, Starbucks Doubleshot energy drink, milkshakes, and Yoo-Hoo.

Can you dance? Nope.

What do you think of the word sex? Uhh.

are these questions random? Sure.

Do you own a pet? if so how many and what kind? Yep, I have a doggo. Oh, so here’s something interesting-- we always thought she was a German Shepherd and Lab mix, but according to this app my brother got that does a scan of a photo of your pet and then tells you their breed(s) she’s neither of those. It gave us 3 top breeds and I forget two of them, but one is Beagle. Another was Australian something or other, I’m not sure. Ugh, it’s going to bug me now, ha. But yeah, I was really surprised because we were so sure about her having German Shepherd and Lab in her.

Are you confident? I’m confident that I’m not.

Do you consider yourself attractive? Not even a little bit. 

Are you glad this is over? I wouldn’t say that. I felt like doing a survey and this one was fine.

[created by: delende]