#suna rintarou x reader angst
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tetsumie · 5 months ago
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heyy when you have the time to do so, can i request college!suna x reader angst to fluff where reader tries to spend time with suna but they get into an argument where he decides to spend time with his athlete friend group but then feels guilty and make up with reader through heart to heart conversation? 🫶🏻sorry if this is so long i have no idea how to make the prompt shorter but honestly i love all the fics you post so idc if you change it up a bit just thought i’d give an idea
𝐅𝐀𝐃𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐎𝐔𝐂𝐇
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pairing: suna rintaro x gen!neutral reader
genre: hurt/comfort
content: you confront him about the growing distance in your relationship, something he's been dismissing for a while, until he finally grasps the seriousness of the situation
cw: suna is a bit harsh; arguments but they make up <3
a/n: hihi anon! ty for requesting and i hope it's to your liking :D i'm still accepting requests for my 1k event so feel free to send more into my inbox!
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"it's like i never see you anymore!"
suna and you have been in this back and forth argument for what felt like an eternity and it's draining the life out of you.
suna has been preoccupied with the upcoming inter-collegiate volleyball tournament. as a starter on the prestigious division 1 ejp raijin volleyball team, the arduous practices and pressure have been taking a heavier toll than expected on him.
as a result of this, suna has been incredibly distant in your relationship. he was always gone before you woke up in the morning and didn't return until after you fell asleep. every time you tried to plan a date or suggest something to do together, he somehow always cancels. it's always, "sorry i have to run some extra drills. maybe another day?"
it's exhausting putting this much effort into your relationship when it all seems in vain.
you've tried bringing this up to suna before, mentioning how you would like to spend more time together. but suna, being suna, always brushed it off. but there's only so much dismissal you can take.
you really miss your boyfriend.
but you're not sure he misses you the way you miss him.
"y/n you can't expect me to drop everything for you! like fuck, i have a life outside of you," he exclaims, snapping you back to the current argument at hand.
"i didn't say that, rin."
"that's what you're trying to say," he replies, crossing his arms over his chest.
you shake you head, lowering your voice. "i know volleyball always has and always will be a top priority for you but i just wish... well, it would be nice if you could put a bit of effort into our relationship."
"what if i don't even want to anymore..." he mumbles under his breath as he walks to the closet, grabbing a coat.
the rage in your heart and mind now simmer down to a feeling of dread and heartbreak. what?
as he turns around, he sends an icy glare at you. you've never seen this side of him and you refuse to let him see you crumble apart in front of him. you refuse to break down right now.
"you don't want to what, suna?" you look at him, tone icy cold. "go on. tell me."
the heated environment is making his mind all cloudy and he wants to end this conversation now.
"you know what i mean, y/n. i'm going out. don't call me."
the door opens and slams shut.
the moment the door closes, you're completely still. you're running on autopilot. you find yourself making a cup of tea and sitting at the dining table, looking at the empty, lifeless apartment sprawled in front of you.
subconsciously, the tears started to roll. i guess that's it then. i think i better start packing my things. i should be gone by the time he comes back home.
meanwhile, suna makes his way downtown to the bar where some of his volleyball friends had invited him out for a couple drinks. he opens the door to the bar and he can hear the familiar rowdiness of his friends.
"well, well, well, if it ain't the infamous sunarin from ejp," a familiar blonde comes running to him. "been too long since i've seen ya stupid ass."
"yeah yeah whatever asshole," suna slaps the back of atsumu and nods over at osamu who's sitting on the table. "it's good to see you both."
as suna and atsumu head to the table in the back with the rest of his friends, his mind can't help but linger back to the argument that he had with you. but he decides to shake his mind off it.
he's here to have fun with his friends right now. not be worried about you.
"you didn't bring y/n tonight?" komori, suna's teammate, asks. "i haven't seen them in a hot minute. what've they been up to?"
what have you been up to? he doesn’t know. when was the last time we both had an actual conversation? he doesn’t know. he doesn’t even know what's been going on in your life lately. fuck this is what y/n meant.
he forces a smile, masking the bitter thoughts playing in his mind. "they're good. just doing their classes and stuff."
"ah right, well bring them by sometime! it's been too long since i've seen them. they never fail to light up the room with their presence."
"yeah you're right."
he nods, taking small sips from the beer in front of him.
as the conversation and chaos ensue among his friends, his mind keeps drifting back to the memories of the argument he walked out on. his mind has cooled off and a sense of guilt starts to take over his body.
here he is having fun with his friends while you're at home all alone, waiting for him. you just wanted to spend time with him and here he was, finding comfort in other people other than you.
he tries to remember the last time you both had gone out together but he's drawing a complete blank. he can't even remember the last time he's kissed you or held you in his hands.
no wonder you've been feeling so lonely.
and in response, he just kept brushing you off until you blew up today. and to make matters worse, he walked out of the argument giving you no sense of reassurance or closure on the matter.
at the realization, suna shoots up out of his seat with flushed cheeks. the group turns to him.
"i gotta head out for the night. i gotta see my baby."
"get a fuckin' room sunarin," osamu shouts. the rest of the groups howls in agreement. "see ya."
he waves goodbye and starts trudging his way back to the shared apartment. he expects to find you asleep so he can crawl into bed with you and cuddle, never intending on letting you go.
so you can imagine the surprise when he opens the door and sees the bedroom light on and hears rustling noises. "baby?" he calls out. "y/n?"
he takes off his shoes and coat and walks to the bedroom. he starts to internally panic at the sight in front of him.
you have a couple of suitcases out filled with your clothes and belongings. at a glance, he can see that your side of the closet is almost empty. you've even taken down a couple of the decor pieces in the room that you bought but he was never particularly interested in. with your headphones in, you’re focused on packing, but what breaks him the most is seeing you wipe your eyes as you do so. why are you even packing? where are you going?
and then it hits him.
not only did he make it seem like he didn’t want to make this relationship work, but his actions have been driving you away. fuck, this was bad. he didn't mean any of it. he has to fix it or he's gonna lose the best thing in his life for good.
he goes over to you and taps your shorted and you yelp, startled by the 6'2" man, hovering above you.
"what the hell are you doing?" suna asks, cocking an eyebrow at you.
you wipe your eyes. "i'm leaving."
"don't be ridiculous," he scoffs.
"ridiculous?" you laugh at the absurdity of his comment. "what's ridiculous is how you walk out of an argument not even wanting to work things out. what's ridiculous is how you just continue to put me aside like i’m some side piece."
he knows you’re hurting. and it’s all his fault.
he doesn’t know how to properly express everything he needs to say to you.
so in the heat of it all, he does what he thinks is the next best thing and kisses you.
you'd forgotten this feeling. his soft lips on yours and how they fit together just right. it's the softest kiss he's ever given to you and your heart swells at the gesture.
you pull away and you plop yourself on the floor to process what just happened.
right there and then, he looks at you. he really looks at you. he notices the way you have some baby hairs popping out and your cheeks feel warm from all that crying. he notices the way your eyes look slightly puffed out and the remnants of tears on your cheeks.
i'm the cause of this. this is all my fault.
"i’m sorry," he begins.
you sigh and look away mumbling to yourself. "you’ve said that before. it doesn’t change anything."
"and you’re right."
you look up at him, surprised by his admission. "w-what?"
"you’re absolutely right, y/n."
he crouches down to your level, resting his hand on your knee so he can look you in the eye.
"i shouldn't have made it seem i wasn't willing to put in the effort into making us work," he says, gesturing between you and him. "my actions and what i said to you a couple hours ago obviously made it seem that way and i'm an absolute dumbass for not picking up on it."
you’re silent. he searches your face, looking for any speck of emotion, but he still can’t read you. in the amount of time he's known you, you’ve always been the exception.
"i've been swamped with so much work lately and i know i need to do better. i spread myself so thin that i forgot to prioritize the things and the people that matter the most to me."
you're silent, unsure of what to say to him.
"i thought i was doing the best i could do until i realized i could be doing so much more for us and for you. i'm so sorry for not being here."
"i know rin," you whisper. finally, for the first time you look up from your lap to look at him. "it just felt like you didn't care about us anymore. you're the hardest worker i know but i just wish you were here sometimes."
"and i wouldn't be able to be that hard worker without your love and support, you know," his hand cups your cheek as he runs his thumb across the tear streaks on your face.
"i realize how absent i’ve been in our relationship lately and i can’t imagine how lonely you’ve been feeling. i want to make this relationship work with you. i know i suck at being sappy and shit but you really are my other half. no matter what it takes, i’ll make us work. i’ll fight for this relationship. i'll fight for us."
"oh, rin," you sigh and wrap your arms around his neck, bringing him in close for a hug. the tears begin to flow from your eyes.
he feels his eyes glaze over. he breathes in your familiar scent and feels a warmth he’s missed.
even after everything, you still love him.
he starts with a gentle kiss on your cheek, then starts peppering your face with soft kisses.
you let out a watery chuckle, making his heart skip a beat. he hasn't heard your laugh in forever and he swears to himself to never be the reason for your tears again.
"let's go to bed now baby. i've gotta cuddle away all the pain i've caused you."
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renardiererin · 7 days ago
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rintarou suna who agrees to keep his christmas gift small this year, and then buys you tens of presents regardless. he’ll argue that “this is me toning it down!” but he has gifts stacked as high as your waist, and they surround the whole bottom of the tree.
rintarou suna who promises it’s nothing much, and gives you the most thoughtful gifts anyone could’ve ever dreamed up. especially when you get to the last box he saved for you, and you open it up to find the exact little vibrator you’d mentioned in fleeting conversation nearly a year before.
“i never forget. i’ve got the memory of an elephant, or whatever the fuck the saying is. anyway, that vibe comes with a free trial, princess. want me to show you how to fuck yourself with it, hm? your pussy’s like a present within itself, baby, let me make you cum.”
needless to say, rintarou had a feast for christmas dinner.
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ghost-recs · 9 months ago
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CAN I ASK FOR A SUNA REC? (preferably timeskip)
YES YOU SURE CAN !! i may have gone down a small rabbit hole but most of them are oneshots. hopefully you'll find something that fits your fancy :)
Suna Timeskip Recs
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love sick by @idlerin
synopsis: you are the campus "cupid" and give out love advice to the other students on campus as a hobby. but what happens when suna asks you to fake date him as a way to fend off the girls you're encouraging?
smau, college au - fun dynamics between characters and i'm obsessed with seeing where this goes [ongoing...]
bet on stones by @animatedrapture
synopsis: suna lost a bet, but for you he'd do it all over again.
a pure fluff oneshot with your pro-player boyfriend!
once in a lifetime by @moonswolfie
synopsis: this may be your once in a lifetime opportunity to talk with ejp raijin's suna rintaro, who could blame you for indulging in your small celebrity crush?
cute oneshot, flirting, i love this scenario
Lame Jokes by hurtbycanonthoughts [ao3]
synopsis: the same grumpy customer comes in every morning. you swear you'll get him to smile somehow.
oneshot! full of bad puns and fluff
clair de lune by MyAUIsAMess [ao3]
synopsis: it's been years since you've seen suna, since he made his promise. you're not sure if seeing him again was worth it.
angsty oneshot, right person wrong time that put me in my sad hours.
untitled scenario by @emmyrosee
synopsis: suna misses you while away for volleyball...
it's just cute, okay? he deserves it!
cameral roll by @haijmei
synopsis: suna is known for not being super expressive with his emotions. so how can you tell if he loves something? easy! look through his camera roll
short little oneshot of suna going through his camera roll
don't smile at me by @atzuums
synopsis: model suna is a real jerk, a hot one, but a jerk nonetheless. you just had to fall for him anyways.
smau, this is a bit cheesy, started off with a lot of good potential, but felt rushed at the end
it's a match! by shittyshima [ao3]
synopsis: matching on tinder with suna made your day. him messaging you was the cherry on top!
college au; i'm not gonna lie i feel like this is ooc, but the idea is cute!
i'm just gonna leave this one here again tho - you're not the one (ik it's not a timeskip but it's so good)
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act-nat-ural · 2 months ago
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Apologies
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@ash0-0ley: Can you write for suna? Angst to fluff please (sorry for my bad english 🤡)
word count: 1013
Rintarou didn’t mean to yell at you, not really. He’d just been so on edge lately, putting in extra hours at practice and pushing himself to his limits as he prepared for the upcoming tournament. Every game felt like it was raising the stakes, and he wanted to be sure he didn’t let anyone down.
But all that stress, all that pressure—it had a way of bleeding out. And you, his favorite person, were unfortunately in his line of fire.
It was supposed to be a quick visit. You had swung by the gym after practice with a snack and a few words of encouragement, hoping to ease his stress. You saw the fatigue in his eyes and the tension in his shoulders. Rintarou had always been calm and collected, but today, he seemed like he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders.
“Hey, Rin,” you greeted him with a warm smile, holding out the small bag you’d brought. “I thought you could use a little pick-me-up.”
But instead of the soft smile you were used to, he barely even looked at you.
“Can’t you see I’m busy?” he snapped, the sharpness in his voice slicing through you like a blade. “I don’t have time for this right now.”
His words hit you harder than they should have, and you flinched. You could feel your face heating up, embarrassment and hurt mixing in your chest. You wanted to say something, to tell him you were just trying to help, but you couldn’t bring yourself to respond. The look on his face told you enough; he was frustrated, tired, and didn’t want you around.
So, you left. You told yourself it was fine, that he was just stressed and didn’t mean it. But as the days passed, doubt began to creep in. Maybe you were a distraction. Maybe he’d be better off without you around. The more you thought about it, the more you began to wonder if he even wanted you there at all.
So you started to avoid him. You stopped swinging by the gym, stopped texting him as much. When he called, you kept the conversations short. And when he asked if you wanted to meet up, you always had an excuse ready.
Rintarou noticed the change immediately, but he brushed it off at first, thinking you were just busy. But after a few days, it became impossible to ignore. He missed you, missed the comfort of having you around, and every time he saw your name on his phone, his chest ached with guilt. He knew he’d messed up, that he’d hurt you. But he didn’t realize how much until now, when you were slipping further and further away.
One night, after another long, grueling practice, he found himself standing outside your apartment. He had barely thought it through, too tired and too anxious to wait any longer. He raised his hand, hesitating for a moment, before knocking softly.
The sound startled you. It was late, and you hadn’t been expecting anyone. When you opened the door and saw Rintarou standing there, his eyes tired but determined, your heart clenched. You hadn’t seen him in days, and you realized just how much you’d missed him.
“Rin?” you asked, surprised.
He rubbed the back of his neck, looking down at his feet. “Hey. Can I…can I come in?”
You nodded, stepping aside to let him in. The silence between you was heavy, and you didn’t know what to say, how to explain why you’d been avoiding him. But before you could even gather your thoughts, he spoke.
“I’m sorry.” His voice was quiet, but there was a rawness to it that caught you off guard. “I’m sorry for the way I snapped at you. I was stressed, but that’s no excuse. You didn’t deserve that.”
You felt your throat tighten, the hurt you’d been pushing down rising to the surface. “It’s okay. I know you’ve been under a lot of pressure lately.”
He shook his head, his gaze finally meeting yours. “No, it’s not okay. I pushed you away, and I shouldn’t have. I thought that if I focused everything on practice, if I shut out everything else, I’d be able to handle it. But…not having you around just made everything worse.”
You swallowed, feeling a mix of relief and lingering doubt. “I thought…I thought maybe you didn’t want me around anymore. That I was just making things harder for you.”
Rintarou’s eyes widened, and he took a step closer, his hand reaching out to yours. “No. You’re the one thing that makes all of this easier. I…I messed up, and I’m sorry. I need you with me, okay? I don’t want to do this alone.”
His words broke down the walls you’d been building around yourself, and you let out a shaky breath. “I missed you, Rin.”
He pulled you into his arms, holding you tightly. “I missed you too. So much.”
You stayed like that for a while, the tension between you melting away as he held you close. The familiar warmth of his embrace soothed the ache that had been sitting in your chest for days, and you felt the weight of your doubts and fears lifting.
After a few moments, he pulled back slightly, looking down at you with a soft smile. “I’ll do better, I promise. I’ll make time for you, no matter how busy things get. Just…don’t leave me, okay?”
You nodded, a small smile tugging at your lips. “I won’t. But you have to let me help, too. You don’t have to do this all on your own.”
He let out a soft chuckle, his eyes crinkling with a mixture of relief and affection. “Yeah. I think I could use that.”
You spent the rest of the night curled up together on the couch, talking quietly about everything and nothing at all. And in that moment, with Rin’s arms wrapped around you and his apologies whispered into your hair, you knew that whatever challenges came your way, you’d face them together.
note: can you tell i'm bad at angst lol
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svnarin · 1 year ago
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- so like maybe like a fic/drabble/whatever with suna when reader and him get in a fight and reader leaves to like cool down or sum- and reader gets hurt bad :3
idk man it’s cringy and wattpad coded but I like that shit 😞 feel free to decline! ((If rq is 2 weird maybe do a vulnerable moments with him))
Ty for reading ! (I dunno how to reqs I’m sorry💀)
୨୧⋆ ˚ — selfish
warnings!! angst, suna being a selfish asshole, open-ended 'cause it still ended in an unresolved argument, not proofread 😞
note! HI ANON!! this is actually my very first time taking such a request. tbh with you, i've never done that much angst and this is actually the heaviest angst i've done by far, but i hope this can satisfy your wants 😭🙏
FEEDBACKS ARE HIGHLY APPRECIATED!
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“where are you? i can’t find you in the stadium.” 
you don’t want to reply to his message. heck, you don’t even want to open the notification at all. 
it’s been three hours since the match ended and it’s been an hour since you left the stadium, and he just realized that you left just now? ridiculous. 
you stared blankly at the notification until he sent you another one just three minutes later.
“y/n where are you?” suna sent you another one. “why aren’t you reading my messages?”
you were literally about to space out from staring blankly at his messages when your phone suddenly vibrated. he’s calling you, snapping you back into reality. 
you sighed before declining his call.
“at home,” you replied to his message. “i went home early then i dozed off, sorry,” you added.
he immediately replied with, “ok ig i’ll go home now.”
you’re aware that his reply was dry, but like, that’s all? some ok ig is all he can reply? but at this point, you couldn’t even care less anymore. 
around 45 minutes later, you were lounging on the sofa when you suddenly heard the entrance to your and suna’s shared penthouse open. you already know it’s suna. he’s the only other one who knows the passcode to the penthouse after all. 
“why did you leave so early? did you even finish watching the whole match at all?” that’s the first thing he told you when he went to the lounging area. so is that really how he’ll greet you? it made you laugh dryly.
“not even a hello?”
“i asked you first.” he’s clearly pissed off. 
“why are you mad?” you stood up from the sofa, walking towards him. “i was there and i watched your whole match. i know you lost the match, but you don’t have to put your anger on me.” 
“so why did you leave after the match was over?”
“what do you mean? i literally stayed there for two more hours before i left.” it’s true. you stayed for two more hours and waited for him. and for the whole two hours, you wanted to go and still congratulate him for his performance, but you couldn’t. why? because he got swarmed by his fans, begging to take pictures with him and getting his autograph.
you tried squeezing yourself in. you loudly called for his name through the crowd, but all you saw was him taking a glance at you before returning his focus to taking pictures and signing autographs. 
“you literally looked at me when i called your name after the match, you just didn’t bother walking towards me.” 
“wait, yeah, i did see you earlier. sorry.” suna doesn’t sound sorry at all. “still, you could’ve waited for me.”
“rin, i tried waiting for you. i tried calling for your attention because i still wanted to congratulate you even if you lost, you just didn’t bother because you were too busy taking pictures and signing autographs.”
“me just only taking glances at you and not walking towards you as i was clearly,” he emphasized. “taking pictures and signing autographs is already an act of not bothering?” 
“so their attention matters more than mine?” 
“i did not say that, y/n. don’t make things complicated.” you can feel the tone of his voice getting sharper and sharper.
“then why are you making it sound like their attention matters more than mine? you don’t have to take pictures with everyone. you don’t have to sign every autograph they request. you always do this but you literally don’t have to do everything they want. they’re just your fans, they come and go.”
“wait, are you fucking jealous over the attention i gave them? when we literally live under the same roof?” suna laughed dryly, his words making your blood boil. 
“of course i’m jealous!” you snapped, shouting at him. “we live under the same roof but you’re out almost 24/7!”
“don’t you get it?! i’m a volleyball player, so what do you expect?!” suna snapped back. “are you even aware that you’re being selfish right now?”
“wait, selfish? me?” you scoffed. “can you hear yourself right now, suna?” you pointed at your ear. “so i’m the selfish one when all i did was sacrifice everything just so that i could choose you?” you pointed to his chest. “when i literally left my family, closest friends, and career on a different prefecture just so that i could live with you here in tokyo to support you on your own career? when i literally had to skip work multiple times just so that i could attend all your matches? when all i wanted in return was the unconditional love that you promised me when we were in high school?” 
the suna that you’re facing right now isn’t the suna that you knew back in high school. he changed. he changed after being a part of the volleyball national team. but despite the change, you stayed. 
choosing him over everything caused you some damage. you waited and are still waiting until those damages healed. you know it hurts, waiting for the damage to heal for so long, but you also think that if you manage to get it healed, you can consider it as good damage. so, if you will leave him midway through healing, then all the damage will be just damage. but now you know better than this. you need to stop choosing him, you need to choose you.
all the things that you’ve been wanting to tell him just spilled as if a dam burst broken. you can feel tears now streaming down your face. “so suna, let me ask you again, am i the one who’s being selfish?” 
that was the last thing you told him before picking up your purse and then walking towards the penthouse to leave. 
suna just stood on his spot, silent the whole time. realization immediately kicked in when he heard the entrance to the penthouse shut close. he couldn’t move even though he wanted to. he wanted to chase after you, kneel after you, and beg for your forgiveness but he couldn’t move. he knows he fucked up big time. he knows he’s been fucking up for years. 
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𝐒𝐕𝐍𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐍 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒 | repost, modification, and translation of my works on any platforms are strictly prohibited.
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k4g3hika · 1 year ago
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CONSUME ━ imagine!
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suna rintarou x fem!reader
summary: suna rintarou was hard to love, you knew this from the beginning. but when you overhear him admitting how he truly felt about you, it hurt to decide whether to let him go, or let your love for him continuously consume you.
genre: hurt/comfort
wc: 6.2k
tags: this is the longest imagine that i’ve ever written 😭 it was a pain in the ass to write but i hope you guys like it :)
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Sometimes, you think it’s hard to love Suna.
Suna is calculating and quiet, the reasons exactly why you find it difficult to continuously pine for him. Though, you already knew he was going to act like this. You’ve gone to school with Suna since elementary, and have even lived in the same neighbourhood since childhood, but you don’t think he knows that.
The thing is, you know Suna, but you don’t think he knows you. Every morning since you were six years old, you’ve seen him make his way to school, but you’ve never had the courage to walk up to him and say ‘hi’. For years, the only parts of Suna that you were able to truly admire were his back and his hair, from behind. The both of you have never been in the same friend group, class, or extra-curricular activity, until your second-year of high school.
You precisely remember the moment you stepped into the gymnasium to introduce yourself as the new manager of the team. It was a rainy day and you were excited, albeit, a little nervous, but irregardless, excited because you know and love volleyball. The sport connected with some of your childhood memories, as you recall playing it with your older brother. Too bad your physical skills weren’t up to par with the school’s expectations, or else you would’ve been on the team. Their loss though, because you found your strategy and knowledge of the sport to be your strongest feature as a player.
As a result of the girl’s team already having a manager, the coach recommended you to try signing up for the role of manager for the boy’s team. Now, you didn’t mind being around boys. Your older brother was enough for you to build up the courage against the challenge that is the hygiene and personality, or well, lack thereof, of boys.
However, the courage built over the years was not enough to stop your surprise at seeing none other than Suna Rintarou, from the front.
He looked completely different from what you remember him looking like. For some reason, you still had the young image of Suna in your head. The Suna you remember had puffy cheeks and neat hair, but this new Suna, was mature, older, and way more handsome. His cheeks thinned out and highlighted a sharp jawline that made his face look so clean-cut, unlike his hair that was messy and all over the place. But, if anything, you think that you prefer this Suna.
Because, God, it made him so much more attractive.
Now, it’s been about three months since you’ve become manager, and in those three months, you’ve tried to show Suna just how much you love him. The years of no talking and never meeting each other were all building up for you, and you just wanted to show him all of the care and affection you’ve held for him over the years.
You’ve cooked bento boxes and given them to him, you’ve filled his water bottle with the expensive electrolytes from the convenience store ten minutes away from the school before every practice, and who couldn’t forget, you make sure that his towel was clean and warm beside his gym bag, so that he wouldn’t use the same one for weeks until it reeked. Your affection was clearly shown through your actions and you prayed to the heavens that he would just notice you. Maybe say a ‘thank you’ or even a little head pat, you really don’t care, just some recognition would make you feel rewarded after all the hard work you’ve done for him.
But, the bento boxes were returned to you either by, Atsumu or Osamu, Suna drank the expensive electrolyte water, however, he seemed to not notice that it was you who put all the thought and care behind the action, and his towel was always just thrown to the side alongside the other towels. Even though the towel you prepped was a personal one from home that had your initials hand sewn in the corner. You thought that at one point he would’ve acknowledged you, but the gratefulness never came.
It didn’t matter though. Because you knew in your heart that you loved Suna Rintarou, and there was nothing that could change that. Even if you did all the sincere actions for him until the both of you graduated and he never noticed you, just knowing that he at least saw the bento box, the water bottle, and your towel, was enough to put a smile on your face. You would show Suna that you love him, ten times over.
“Y/N! Earth to Y/N!” Your head snaps over to your right, seeing the coach look at you with concern. Embarrassed that he caught you in your daily Suna trance, your cheeks heats up and you push yourself to your feet.
“Coach!”
“I thought you would never hear me. Listen, I don’t know what’s taking all your attention away, but can you please head down to the locker room and tell the boys that they need to make their way over here. The drill we spoke about yesterday is a bit complicated, so I would like to get started as soon as possible.” Nodding, you bow and begin to make your way over to the club room.
Your heart begins to speed up a bit, as the thought of seeing Suna shirtless makes your chest burn and your face hot. By all means, you are not a pervert! But just seeing him with all his muscles in the bright fluorescent light of the locker room looked like a cover of a sports magazine.
Suna Rintarou makes you feel so nervous. Unfortunately, you find yourself relishing in the minimal acknowledgement that he gives you, thriving off of the fact that you were in a club that just allowed you to be around him. Maybe it was a sign from the heavens that you weren’t physically athletic, but strategically, which resulted in your application as Boys Volleyball team manager. You’d like to think that despite his ignorance, it was in both of your guys’ destinies to end up with another.
Maybe the both of you were the main characters of a drama, where, despite all the bumps in the plot, you will always find each other being drawn to one another. Yet again, that was all just your stupid imagination, but one can dream, right?
Giggling to yourself, you were about to knock on the locker room door, before you heard loud voices through the small space between the door and the wall. It sounded like they were bickering with one another, and you begin to wonder if it’s Atsumu and Osamu fighting again, while everyone just stood around and observed. Normally, you would be the one to beg them to stop while Kita jumped in after you to pull them apart. But, now that you weren’t inside, you begin to push open the door at the possibility.
“...Y/N?” Your actions falter at the sound of your name.
‘Are they talking about me?’ Before you could do anything, you lean your ear in just to get a snippet of what they were talking about. You know what they say though, curiosity was what killed the cat.
“Come on Sunarin! You have to like Y/N! She’s so cute, and she cooks you all those bento boxes! If that isn’t girlfriend material, then I don’t know what is.” Hearing Atsumu praise you for your efforts made you smile, trying to hide it by covering your mouth with your hand.
“And, let’s not forget how she already likes you. C’mon Rintarou, we’ve seen her personally hand you your water bottle,” The voice you assume to be Ojiro teases, while everyone in the room laughs.
“Oh yeah!! I’ve seen those expensive electrolyte packets in her bag, man, how does it feel to receive such special treatment from Y/N?”
‘So my actions don’t go unnoticed.’ Your smile grows bigger, clutching your clipboard closer to your chest when feeling just how full your heart is with everyone’s recognition.
“Stop it guys.” Suna’s smooth voice finally enters the picture and you try to stop yourself from giggling out loud. “She’s our manager.”
“So?!? Man, that’s even better! You won’t have a girlfriend who doesn’t understand the importance of the sport. If anything, Y/N is more committed than you, maybe you will be the one competing for her attention against the club,” you hear smooching sounds and Atsumu speaks in a voice that tries to mock Suna’s, but did a terrible job.
“Y/N~ don’t forget all about me!! I love you Y/N~!” More kissing sounds can be heard, and everyone in the room laughs one more time.
The joy in your heart would’ve been extended, if it weren’t for the sudden aggravated scoff from Suna, and the slapping of a towel on bare skin. Atsumu yelps and the room suddenly dies down from the initial humorous atmosphere.
“Man, shut up. I don’t like Y/N. She’s alright, I guess.” a locker door slams shut, “But sometimes, she's just so... annoying. I don't know how much longer I can put up with it. And you know, after a while, it just comes off as desperate.”
‘Desperate? I’m not desperate.’ You weren’t keen on Suna noticing you. You just liked doing all those things for him, it showed you cared, and that he was at least deserving of some special treatment, because he was a very special person in your life.
“I feel bad for her,” he continues, “spending all that time doing shit for someone that doesn’t even like her. I can’t say anything though, cause she’s our manager and I don’t want the team to feel awkward. I guess I just have to suffer with her smothering me all the damn time.”
At that, you feel your once fluttering heart stop. You feel tears beginning to make their way to fall from your eyes, as your face begins to feel hot, but not in a blushing way. More like in a, you were about to sob out loud and the tears probably wouldn’t stop for a while, way.
You loved Suna. He didn’t have to love you back, the least you were asking for was for him to say ‘thank you’. But it appeared that your affection didn’t appear as a display of your love, but something that bothered him. Annoying him to the point of seeing your actions as suffocating. But that didn’t entirely bother you.
It was the fact that he didn’t even want to tell you to stop. He was going to live like that until high school was over, because you were the team’s manager, and it would be ‘awkward’. You begin to overthink.
What if you kept on going about cooking those bento boxes for him, filling his water up with electrolytes, and bringing a special towel from home, all warm and clean, without knowing what he actually thought of your displays of affection? You would’ve lived thinking that Suna somewhat appreciated it. Possibly having the idiotic thought that he was just shy, and maybe didn’t know how to exactly tell you that he liked you.
You are such a dumbass.
You begin to tremble, the pen that was once held up by your clipboard clattering to the ground and startling you. It brought you back to your situation, seeing the door still somewhat closed in front of you. Out of fear that they were going to see you and realise that you were eavesdropping, you ditch the pen and begin to run back to the gym.
You were going to tell the coach that you were feeling sick. You hope the teary eyes and flushed cheeks will do you justice, and he’ll send you home without any repercussions. But as of right now, nothing matters, all that did was the fact that you were annoying the boy you loved, and that your pillows were waiting to welcome your tears until tomorrow morning.
It’s been two days. Have you missed school for the past two days? Absolutely not. Suna wasn’t going to make you miss class, as much as you wanted to, you know that if you were going to skip, the school will inform your parents, and that last thing you want is your parents to get involved.
It’s just been two days since you’ve been to volleyball practice. You haven’t been missing your duties at all though. Yes, you’ve been in contact with the coach and Kita, with them informing you on the notes of the team and each player’s performance. The reason for that being, some coaches from Tokyo were planning to head down to Hyogo for a volleyball camp. The team needs to know what they have to improve on, and unfortunately, though you felt as if you weren’t in the right state of mind, you had to fulfil your duties as a manager.
You’re not over Suna, and to be honest, you don’t think you ever will be. He’s been such a constant force in your life, that a lifetime without his presence captivating your mind felt impossible to even conjure. You love Suna Rintarou, but you guess you would just have to hold it inside until the both of you go your separate ways. Maybe then you’ll get over him, but the possibility seemed unlikely.
You just have to give up expecting the response to your love that you’ve been hoping for your entire life.
Checking the cafeteria and seeing if you had enough food supply for three volleyball teams, their respective coaches, and their managers. It seemed like a chore to do all on your own, and it was. But you committed to being the team manager. Suna wasn’t going to change that whether he liked it or not.
“Y/N, the Tokyo teams will be arriving soon. Coach says you need to head to the front and help him with dorm placement.” Sighing and nodding, you get up from your squatting position from the bottom shelf. Kita notices your negative mood, by being the observant asshole that he is. As you were about to exit out the only doorway, he grabs your forearm, holding you back from actually leaving. His sudden touch surprised you, resulting in you jolting back. “I’ve been meaning to ask, are you okay?”
His concern falters your thoughts and movements. In all the time that you’ve been manager of the volleyball team, Kita has never really shown you that much care for how you felt. It surprised you a bit, seeing how concerned he looked for your wellbeing.
Yet again, he’s Suna’s friend.
“I’m okay, why do you ask?” He didn’t believe you, that was clear. It was so obvious when his facial expression did not change, Kita was still staring intently at you. It almost felt like he was trying to read your mind.
“You dropped your pen, by the way.” Taking it out of his pocket, Kita hands you your familiar piece of stationary, not thinking about it, you grab it from his hand. “I know you were by the locker room when Suna said what he said.”
‘Oh shit.’ You felt your heart come to a stop, yet again.
“W-What? I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“So it’s just a coincidence that after Suna said that about you, I found your pen in front of the locker room door, and you didn’t show up to practise till today? Y/N, I’m not sure if you’ve failed to learn something about me, but I can tell you that I am not an idiot.”
His words caught you off-guard. Kita managed to figure out what was wrong with you, without even knowing who you were. To be honest, it scared you a bit, getting a glimpse of what Kita can truly find out when he concentrated hard enough. You admire that about him.
Taking your silence as you not knowing what to say, Kita lets go of your forearm and sighs.
“Suna didn’t mean what he said. He’s a very thoughtful individual who was pressured into saying those things by the team. You know how they are. Please try to see things from his perspective, as Suna is often misunderstood.” He begins to walk away, but leaves with a final word, “I’m not telling you to change how you feel about the situation. You have a right to feel how you feel. But, don’t take Suna’s words too seriously.” Kita walks away, leaving you alone in the cafeteria.
‘Did he just say not to take the insults Suna threw at you seriously?’ The aggression left behind the negativity a few days ago wants to say, absolutely not. What Kita said is unfair, to you and your feelings. Suna called you annoying and said you were smothering him, how can you jump around that? So far you haven’t had a night where you haven’t thought about how…mean Suna was. You thought that he only would’ve been mean to Atsumu or the others, but not you, never you.
It’s safe to say that your mind felt like it was on the verge of exploding. It was so stressful to choose whether or not you should believe Kita and show Suna your love again, or just ignore him like what you’ve been doing for the past couple of days.
You think that it’s best to just…not think about the problem. It’s a situation for later, for now, the camp and most importantly, the team needs your utmost attention.
‘God, I hate high school.’
“Hey Suna, you good?” Suna takes a sip of water from his bottle, noting that it tasted different from usual. Nodding, he wipes his sweat off with a spare shirt from his bag, also becoming aware that the towel that he was given wasn’t the usual soft one that he had from the beginning of the year. This one was coarse and rough, making him pick up the shirt he intended to wear if he got too sweaty.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Hey, does the water taste a bit weird? Like, spoiled or somethin’ cause it doesn’t taste like how it usually does.” Osamu’s eyebrow raises, grabbing the bottle from Suna’s hands despite his protests, and tasting his friend’s drink. To him, it tasted normal, like the normal water that came from the water fountain.
“No…it tastes like how it usually does?”
“Nah, can’t be man. The water I usually have is sweeter and it tastes like fruit juice. This shit tastes weird.” Suna’s face scrunches up, tasting his water again to see if he was just hallucinating the lack of flavour in his water. It’s stupid, how much he’s overthinking the flavour of something that he shouldn’t think that much about. But he hates how regular water tastes like, only really drinking it if he has to.
Observing Suna, it clicks in Osamu’s head what was missing from the water.
In the past, he has noticed you getting out a packet of electrolytes and putting it into Suna’s bottle with a sincere smile on your face. You looked so cute and happy, it puzzled him why you didn’t tell Suna that it was you that was making his water suitable to his tastes. The silent display of affection made him so jealous, he could only wish that he had someone that cared that much.
“What if you ask Y/N? She’s the one who fills up the water bottles anyway, she should know.” Osamu jogs back to the court, practising once more with the team captain. Inquisitively, Suna does remember that you fill up the water bottles. He also remembered how you asked him once at the beginning of the school year what his favourite drink was, and he only shrugged, saying that he likes fruit chuupets, and ever since then, his water tasted like the familiar fruity taste. Wanting to know why his water hasn’t been tasting like it as of late, it prompted him to go on a search for you. Damn warmups, he needs to know why his water doesn’t have the same taste than it usually does.
Looking around the gym, he sees your figure turn into the hallway. Following you, he begins to walk faster in order to catch up to you, thinking about what to say to you in his head, without coming across as mean.
‘Y/N, why does my water taste bad?’ No. ‘Y/N, why doesn’t my water taste like fruit?’ No, he’s going to sound stuck up. ‘Y/N, why does my water taste like everyone else’s?’ Oh God no, that sounds even worse.
‘Y/N, is there something different about my water?’ There you go. That should sound right.
He was ready to confront you, preparing himself to call out your name. But before he could do so,
“Dove!” Suna’s head snaps to the loud voice in front of him, and so does yours, as a tall, lanky, goofy-looking boy makes his way towards you. Much to Suna’s dismay, for some reason, a smile etches itself onto your face as the other man approaches you. “I thought I would never find you.”
“Tetsu, aren’t you supposed to be practising with your team? You shouldn’t be behind here.”
“Well, I just wanted to see my girl. Is there any harm in that, Dove?”
“Tetsu, stop,” you mutter, a bit shy, “I don’t want people from my school to hear you call me that.”
“Aw, you’re still cute as ever. Here, let me help you with that.” Suna sees the guy, ‘Tetsu’, grab the basket of water bottles from your hands. You protest, pouting a bit as Kuroo brings the case above your reach so that you wouldn’t be able to get it back. “I haven’t seen you in awhile Dove, let me be nice, okay?”
Honestly, he personally doesn’t know what overcame him, but out of nowhere Suna coughed loud enough for the pair to hear. He sees you jump a bit, seeing that one of your teammates, catching you in the midst of a conversation while you were supposed to be doing your duties. And it was even worse for you, as not only was it a teammate, but it was Suna. You assume that he probably hates your guts, based on what he said before. Even so, his glare started to make you feel a bit nervous.
“Can I help you?” Kuroo asks Suna as walks up to the both of them.
“I should be asking you that question. Do you need something from my team manager?” Embarrassed, you look down at your feet, trying to avert your eyes from Suna or Kuroo’s.
Kuroo’s eyes squint, looking at the middle-blocker who, to his surprise, matches his height. The both of them begin to have a staring competition, as one or the other refuses to tear away the eye contact. It started to worry you, because it’s almost been two minutes of harsh breathing and aggressive stares.
“O-Okay, I’ll be taking these then.” You grab the crate from Kuroo and begin to make your way to your original location. “Get back to practise guys! Lunch is in thirty!”
“Who are you and why were you talking to Y/N?”
“Woah, woah, buddy, why are you getting protective? Y/N, is a very, very, close friend of mine, so I think that I have a right to approach her right?” Kuroo smirks, stepping closer to Suna as a form of intimidation. “How about you? Are you her boyfriend or something?”
Suna glares at Kuroo, wanting nothing more than to hit him in the jaw. He would, but one, that would take too much of his energy, and two, he’s pretty sure you would hate him if he does. Still, something in Suna just wanted to tell Kuroo that he was your boyfriend just for him to back off.
But he wasn’t. Because he doesn’t like you. He’s sure of that.
“No.” Kuroo laughs, stepping back before turning to make his way back to the gym.
“Well then, that means nothing is stopping me right?” Kuroo walks away, but not before aggressively pushing Suna’s shoulder back with his own. Though, Suna was too concentrated on what the other boy said to even progress the aggression from the other side.
‘What did he mean ‘nothing is stopping him? Is Kuroo going to do something to you? What will Kuroo do that’ll result in Suna blocking him?’
“Sunarin! What are you still doing out here?!” Atsumu shriek could be heard from down the hall, making Suna jump out of his train of thought. He completely forgot that he was even standing here just staring at a wall and thinking of you. That was weird.
He usually never did.
The practice game against Inarizaki and Nekoma was…tense.
You could feel the passive aggressiveness coming strangely, from Kuroo and Suna across the net. Everyone else was curious as well, wondering exactly why these two, who’ve never met before, suddenly have a feud similar to that of a world war. At first, you were completely clueless, but then began to wonder if something happened in the hallway after you left.
Maybe Suna said something to tease Kuroo? Or maybe, it was the other way around and now they just want to kill each other.
In the third set at twenty-two points to Inarizaki and twenty-four points to Nekoma, the stakes and the nerves were equally as high. Nekoma has one win and Inarizaki has the other. It seems that this practice game was being played for far more than it actually was, since Kuroo and Suna never acknowledged each other apart from glaring and swearing at each other under their breath. Their respective teams kept asking them if they were okay, both replying with, “yeah, let’s just win.”
“Do you think something happened between Suna and that Nekoma player?” The coach asks you, leaning in and whispering it so that others wouldn’t hear.
“I’m not sure…but they do seem pretty aggressive with one another.”
Then, as you look away for just a moment, a spike comes from Nekoma, but was thankfully received by Kita. Following a set by Atsumu, Osamu jumped to spike it down, but was then blocked by none other than Kuroo himself.
At the brink of time, Ojiro retrieves it back, calling Atsumu to set it once more, this time for Suna to powerfully spike it down, aiding them in their two point loss between them and Nekoma. As Suna jumps up, you see Kuroo and Kenma jump as well.
A feeling of failure begins to settle in your heart.
Suna hits the ball, powerfully, the first time you’ve seen him hit a ball with so much energy.
But the ball immediately lands back down onto the same side, Kita not able to have caught up to it in time. Nekoma cheers out loud, congratulating each other on their hard work.
While Inarizaki lost, they began to support each other for their efforts, but you notice that Suna didn’t look as relieved as the others. His stare is hostile, facing towards the otherside where you see Kuroo looking at him with the same confrontational gaze. You swallow nervously, beginning to make your way towards Suna to pull him back. The Inarizaki boys take notice as well, observing how Suna and Kuroo were both stomping their way to each other. The same feeling of failure seeps into your chest again and you could sense something was going to go terribly wrong–
Suna punched Kuroo in the jaw!
Out of nowhere, a fight begins between the two players, both of them tussling with one another in the middle of the court. Kuroo lands a punch on Suna but is equally stunned when Suna fights back almost immediately after. You notice how Kuroo was pulling at his shirt, trying to bring him closer to land another blow, but fails as Suna strikes him one after the other. Both Nekoma and Inarizaki run up to their players, trying to pull them apart from one another.
The coaches start to shout at their players, ordering them to stop what they were doing at once.
Successfully, they both are torn apart from one another, but still continue to fight the air as they try to continue their brawl.
“What the hell is wrong with you?!” Your coach asks, trying to instill some discipline into his player. Unfortunately, your heart fails to calm down after witnessing the both of them fight so aggressively. You’ve never seen Suna fight someone, or him be so mad.
Suna looks up, pulling his arms away from his teammates and stares at you.
As the both of you make eye-contact, you refuse to move from your position and remain shaking. Almost as if you gave him an answer to something, Suna walks away, leaving behind everyone in awe.
Just then, you look up at Kita, who nods for you to go.
‘Should I go?’
The memory of him calling you annoying and smothering comes back in your mind.
‘Does he deserve my comfort?’
“Please try to see things from his perspective, as Suna is often misunderstood.”
Putting down the clipboard on the bench, you run outside to try and find Suna. Fall has never been kind to Hyogo, as rain pelts down from the sky, fogging your ability to try and see Suna. You call out his name, but your volume is minute in comparison to the strength of the rain.
Running into the open hallway, you look left and right to try and find the familiar boy. But, no luck. Your heart begins to ache at the realisation that you had no idea where Suna is. You didn’t know what he was doing all by himself in weather like this. Inside, you sincerely hope that he didn’t run out in the street.
‘Oh God, what if he did?’
Out of sheer panic, you run towards the direction of the gate, praying to the heavens that he didn’t do the latter. With rain coming down this hard, you knew that driver’s wouldn’t be able to see as clearly as they usually do. And the thought of Suna running into the street in hopes of getting his comfort jelly chuupets at the convenience store down the road doesn’t make you feel better at all.
You run out the gate, looking towards the direction of the store, failing to catch Suna or any person resembling him standing in the vicinity of it. Trying to get nearer and get a closer look, the sound of a blaring horn fills your ears. Turning to the left, you see a car heading your way, swerving side to side in a skidding motion. The road was so slippery in this type of weather, but why couldn’t you move?
The car was getting closer and your feet felt like they were stuck on the ground.
‘Why can’t I move?’
“Y/N!” Your body jerks back to the side. The car swiftly passes the both of you, getting back onto its regular general direction before driving further down the road. You feel your heart beating profusely, your heaving chest moving up and down in hopes of slowing it. “Are you stupid?! What do you think you’re doing?!?”
Looking up to thank your saviour, Suna’s panicked face greets you causing you to go silent. Both at the same time, you feel relief and stress seeing his face. Mostly relief because you’ve finally found him after all the events that occured today.
“Answer me—“
“Idiot!” Pushing him back, Suna stands there stunned while you clench your fists by your sides. “What—What do you think you’re doing, getting into fights, running out in the rain…are you a child?!? What is going on with you??”
Suna stands there silently.
“And don’t just stand there, I ran out in the road because, because I thought you went to buy your stupid chuupets that you love so much down at the convenience store! You are like a child, wanting fucking food when you’re angry or stressed. You know, I shouldn’t have come out here. In the rain, getting all wet. But you know what Suna, you know what’s pathetic? This, running in shitty weather like this, wouldn’t only be the most drastic thing I do for you.
Suna, for months, I-I’ve been buying expensive ass electrolyte packets, because I know you wouldn’t drink regular water. You only drink water that tastes like fruit juice. That’s from my own money by the way! I also cook you food, that I spend time out of my nights, and sometimes mornings, because you are picky! I know you don’t like cafeteria food, so I just threw my food into the circle, hoping to God that you just might like it! And-And let’s not forget about my towel, my hand sewn, hand washed, machine dried towel. I bring it for you fresh everyday Suna! I know you don’t like the rough school towels, so I brought mine with my initials!
And do I get noticed? No! I never got a ‘thank you’, or even a nod of recognition?! I have Atsumu or Osamu return my bento box in silence, even my towel, thrown into the pile with the rest of the team’s towels, and I get called annoying. I slave myself every day, Suna, just to get your attention. But I don’t think you realise that, I don’t have to do these things. I have never, ever, forced myself to do these things.
I am sorry, if I smother you Suna. I just love you so fucking much that I don’t realise the things I do to care for you, are exhausting.
But now, I’m exhausted. Of not receiving the gratitude I expect for the things I do. I was fine for awhile Suna, but now I’m—“
Then, you feel yourself being pushed onto his chest. One of Suna’s arms wrap around your waist, while the other holds your head down gently, as if silencing you from saying the rest of what you wanted to say. You feel shock course through your veins as the last thing you expected was a hug from the Suna Rintarou.
You and Suna stood under the harsh rain, their heartbeats echoing the drumming of waterdrops around them. The world seemed to fade away, leaving only the two of them in that intimate moment.
“Don’t get tired Y/N, please don’t get tired of me.” Out of nowhere, you feel yourself begin to cry. Wiping your tears onto Suna’s already wet jersey, he manages to sense your exhaustion, urging him to glide his hand on top of your head continuously. “I am grateful Y/N, that you do all these things for me without me having to ask.”
Suna pulls the both of you apart, cradling your face as he attempts to wipe your tears off. Despite his efforts however, you continue to cry, meanwhile struggling to breathe as you attempt to catch your breath. It feels like despite all the tears you’ve cried in private, seeing Suna recognise you brought a whole different wave of emotions.
“Don’t cry, I don’t want to see you crying because of me.” At that moment, Suna ponders for a bit as you see him look at you. You feel yourself freeze as he leans down to plant two kisses on both of your cheeks, an effort to dry your tears. Putting his forehead on yours, his thumbs continuously brush your jawline, as if he was admiring you. “It’s difficult for me to say Y/N, but I love you.”
Your eyes widen.
“I’ve loved you since elementary when you pushed that little boy off the swing after he pushed me off. I’ve loved you since middle school when you would sneakily put chuupets on my desk, even if you thought I didn’t know. You’re beautiful Y/N. And, I’m sorry for not thanking you earlier for everything you’ve done for me. I’m not brave like you, I can’t show the people I love that I care for them.”
“B-But the bento…”
“Of course I ate it. It hurts me to think that I didn’t, I just always asked Atsumu or Osamu to bring it back. You make me nervous Y/N. I can’t confidently walk up to you when you get prettier every time my eyes turn to you.
You make me weak, Y/N.” You huff, sniffling as Suna lands another kiss on the tip of your nose. He smiles and brings you in for another hug, but this time, your arms wrap around him tightly.
It is difficult to love Suna Rintarou.
It was a path fraught with uncertainties and moments of doubt. But as you stood there, holding the rain-soaked figure before you, you knew that the journey was worth it. Because in the depths of his guarded heart, you had found a love that was as powerful as it was fragile, as beautiful as it was challenging. And you were determined to weather the storm, to be the unwavering presence that helped him navigate the complexities of love and vulnerability.
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mrs-kodzuken · 3 months ago
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embers of love ⟢ atsumu m.
warnings: forgetful!tsumu, girlfriend!reader, arguments, mentions of best friend!osamu and bestfriend!suna, kissing-ass tsum tsum, fixing a relationship, mentions of proposing, cussing, angst to fluff to smut at the end (unprotected sex, creampie, rough but loving)
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It's been two weeks since you've last had an actual, meaningful conversation or interaction with Atsumu. Being his girlfriend of six years, you had expected that he would always be attentive to his career more than you. Honestly, his career was very important to him, and you could see in some aspects if he slacked just a smidge with giving love. Some.
But this, this was ridiculous for him to be doing. You waited impatiently for Atsumu Miya to return home. The house you guys put a down payment for when things got rather serious, and you both realized that it is way better coming home to a home instead of an apartment.
You've known 'Tsumu since you guys were second years and then you both fell in love. Who knew that such young, sweet, innocent love would get you to where you are today?
You heard keys jangling into the keyhole of the front door and you remained in your spot on the couch you both went shopping for forever ago. The blonde man walked in, set his keys down on the tray, took off his shoes and started walking towards the bedroom.
It was as if he didn't realize you were even there. He probably didn't, the exhaustion radiating off of him in waves. It made you feel bad for what you were about to bring up, but it needed to be talked about before you cracked and brought hell to him.
"Atsumu," Your voice spoke out into the room, he stopped in his tracks. "We need to talk." You firmly demanded of the professional volleyball player.
He sighed, "Y/n, can we jus’ do this 'nother time? I'm fuckin' tired." His aggravated tone tore through you, fueling your anger even more.
Your face hardened as he tried to continue walking and ignore you.
"Miya, give me one reason why I should stay with your ass right now." You finally said the words you were so scared to say weeks back. However, you're done now, there's no going back for what you just said.
"’Scuse me?" He whipped around so fast, demanding to know where this suddenly came from. Not only had you referred to him as his last name but, you had spoken about leaving him? Were you out of your mind?
"You heard me. I'm tired of this shit." Your fists balled up, standing from your seat on the couch. You finally had his attention, and you weren't going to let it go now.
"What shit? Me goin’ ta work every single day ta provide a life fer us that ya wanted?" He retorted, crossing his arms obviously not wanting to have this conversation.
"Oh wow! You're so big and strong for going to work every day! I do the same fucking shit too, you ass. That's not what this is about. This is about how I haven't properly talked to you in two weeks and then before that it was almost a month!"
"Atsumu, I am your girlfriend. We've been together for six fucking years! Don't you think I'd want to see you, talk with you, love you?" You sounded exasperated with having to explain yourself as if he didn't see what had been going on through tired eyes.
"Ya know how important my volleyball career is 'ta me. 'S not my fault ya can't handle bein' by yerself." He scoffed, his words like ice to you.
You could've sworn your eye just twitched in anger.
"Why is this going over your head you blonde asshole. I'm saying that if you still want me here, want me to have my part in this relationship, then you also have to have yours." You seethed at him, entirely over his recent behavior because you didn't deserve it.
"I do, yer just so fuckin' needy. Dont'cha think that I should get a fuckin' break from havin' to do unnecessary shit when I hav'ta work late 'nd get up early?" His voice was beyond tired and ready to climb in bed and sleep. It was loud, bouncing off the walls and bouncing right into your ears.
Oh, he wanted to get loud.
"So, I'm needy now? Wanting the bare fucking minimum from a man who can't even see past his own actions to realize that he's about to be single is needy?" You scoffed at him, "I didn't realize that actually wanting you to be caring like how you were in high school was deemed unnecessary." You shouted, pushing past him to the bedroom, done with this conversation.
You had a bag packed already; it wasn't everything you owned because you didn't expect that you would actually get into a predicament like this. Perhaps staying one night over at a friend's place, not this.
You couldn't stand the tears that gathered in your eyes as you gripped your bag and tried to rush out of there. This has to be the worst argument yet.
"Now where tha' hell you think yer goin'?" He tried blocking your way, obviously still pissed and wanting to continue even if it didn't get anywhere. A habit that he possessed since high school that no matter how hard you tried, you couldn't get him to let go of it.
"Leaving." You didn't spare him a glance as you put on your shoes and grabbed a coat.
"Hah, don't fuck tha' first man ya see." He ridiculed, not caring that you were leaving because of him in the first place.
"Fuck you, Miya!" It sounded wobbly and raw, but you said it. You slammed the door shut and with it your heartbreak of the man you desperately loved and wanted to love you.
With a dial of your phone, you called someone who'd always let you crash at his place.
"Hello?" Suna's voice answered over the phone.
"Rin, can I please stay over tonight?" Your voice cracking, you knew you had to pull yourself together because this was the first time you've left like this and called Suna like this before.
"You're always welcomed here, you know that. What's wrong?" He asked, shuffling on the other side of the phone made you pause for a bit.
"'Tsumu and I had a bad argument." You didn't really want to get into it all over the phone, but it was almost a ten-minute walk to get to Suna's from your house.
Rin cursed under his breath and let out some other obscenities about Atsumu before speaking on the line, "You can stay here as long as you want, so don't worry. Have you talked to 'Samu yet?"
"No, no. Your house is closer and it, you know, it just happened and stuff so." You swallowed thickly, trying not to cry again over the hurtful words Atsumu is capable of.
"Okay, well, I'll be here and put the kettle on too. Want me to stay on the phone?"
"No, it's okay, Sunarin. Bye." You ended the phone call, using the last bit of time that you had to walk to his house to collect yourself.
You were sure that 'Tsumu didn't give two shits where you were right now, those hurtful words he said coming to the front of your mind. It was horrible to think that with a small conversation the behavior could have been fixed from him. It's not the first time either.
Fighting with Atsumu was pointless half of the time. He liked to be hurtful; he liked when it would get so bad too because he could say it was the heat of the moment instead of taking accountability. That really was a deciding factor if you did go the route of breaking things off with him.
God, that physically hurt your heart to the extreme.
Finally, you were at a safe haven for now. You didn't bother knocking on Rin's door, knowing he left it unlocked for you. You could feel the warmth of his house and it held a familiar smell too, like a home away from home.
"Rin?" You called, taking off your shoes and setting the barely packed bag at the entrance of the home.
"In here, Y/n." Rin spoke from the kitchen, nonetheless probably had the kettle on and tea ready for you.
Before even getting two steps into the room, you were engulfed in a tight hug. Rin was never one to really give hugs, only in special situations like this one for example.
"Wanna talk about it over your favorite tea that your best friend made for you because he cares?" Rin asked into your hair, trying to gauge your emotional state right now.
"Yeah, yeah. That's fine." You replied, not trying to let the new line of tears fall.
Within twenty minutes you were done explaining how long you've felt neglected by 'Tsumu and you hated using that word too. After thirty minutes you were trying to get Rin to not call Osamu, which would just make things worse for you.
"'Samu, you need to talk some sense into your shitty twin." Were the only words spoken by Rin before you tried grabbing the phone from him. That's when you got a facetime call from Osamu.
"Ugh, now look at what you've done. You made him facetime us." You rolled your reddish eyes at Suna who just put his hands up in defense.
"What happened, Y/n?" Osamu's face showed up on the phone screen, concerned tracing over his features most likely due to your appearance, you thought.
You sighed, "It's just 'Tsumu. We had a bad argument." You didn't really want to go into it in depth like you did with Suna only because looking at 'Samu was like staring Atsumu in the eyes.
"How bad? Need me ta' talk some sense inta' him fer ya?" The phone screen started blurring a bit as you watched Osamu start getting up and shuffling around.
"No!" You cleared your throat from embarrassment. "I mean, no 'Samu, that won't be necessary, okay? He just said some mean words and I did too so it's not like I'm all innocent either." You eluded eye contact to phone 'Samu until Rin shouted from behind you.
"Yeah, but he told her not to fuck any man she sees when she left, 'Samu." Rin's irritated voice spoke right after your own.
"Oh, that sonofa--don't worry, Y/n. I gotcha." And with that, the facetime call hung up. You stared at the black screen, not sure of what to do now either.
You groaned, "Rin, I don't want to think anymore tonight." You slumped on the expensive couch that he had. It had such a luxurious and soft velvet feeling, which could definitely be able to easily put you to sleep.
"Need me to get the drinks?" He asked, gesturing at the kitchen. Rin had his own bar in his house for some reason. It never failed to amaze you on all the hobbies he was able to pick up, and for this one it was bartending at his house.
"I'm good. I'm just going to shower and sleep, if that's fine. I don't want to deal with Miya's' shit anymore." And that made you pause. Did you really not want to deal with him anymore or was it his behavior?
Quite frankly you didn't know but you'd rather get black out drunk than think about it.
"Okay, well you know where everything is so. I'll be around if you need me. I'm here for you." Sunarin glanced back at you once more before leaving and it brought back memories of when you both were in high school too.
Suna was always there for you. Always knew how to crack you up and comfort you when you were sad. He's always been the best, especially when he welcomed you into the Miya twin's antics too.
While you were getting ready to sleep your sorrows away, Atsumu was ten minutes away wondering when you were going to come home. He's too proud to send you a text first of course, especially after those malicious words to you that he never thought he'd say to you.
He sat on the couch with his phone in his hand, his hair a mess after running his fingers through it to keep him calm. He was hesitant to text or call you to ask if you were coming home or going to leave him. That thought made his heart drop into his ass. So, he was about to dial the next best thing, his twin.
That's when he got a call himself from none other than his own twin. The blonde cursed under his breath, knowing you probably talked to 'Samu first.
"Hey, 'Samu."
"Don't 'Hey, 'Samu' me. I heard what ya said to Y/n. Now what tha fuck were ya thinkin' talkin' to a woman like that?" Osamu's voice came out in such an irritated, almost angry tone that it took aback Atsumu.
"She's tha one who talked 'bout leavin' me! 'Samu, is she at yer place? S’gettin' late, and she hasn't come back yet." He couldn't help but to run another hand into his already messed up hair.
"'Tsumu, get yer shit together or she's gonna fuckin' leave yer ass. And quite frankly? I don't blame 'er. Ya were bein' a real piece of dickwad shit ya'know?" 'Samu scoffed on the other side of the phone as Atsumu tried to beg once again of where you were at.
"'Samu, I know that okay?" He got up and paced around the living room. "I just, God, I don't know how ta' get her ta' forgive me when I was bein' like that."
"'M not goin' to give you all tha answers but ya need to make it up to her and actually be sincere about it. Now stop messin' around, you already bought a ring, dumbass. Ya watch yerself too, there's plenty of guys who know how to treat a woman right."
Before Atsumu could say anything or question what his brother meant by that, he heard the familiar beeping of the phone call ending.
"What tha fuck?" 'Tsumu thought aloud, even though there was no one home to hear him.
Before Atsumu could even let his brain process, his body was up and moving around. Soon, he realized he was making a little get-away for the two of you guys. It was like he woke up from a hazy dream he was sleeping in and needed to take control before he lost someone that he never thought he'd lose.
Soon enough, a get-away was planned for the two of you and Atsumu had made sure enough to spoil the hell out of you by leaving a lot of detailed instructions too.
He paid for a suite hotel room, ordered your favorite bouquet of flowers to surprise you in the bathroom, arranged a spa day for the two of you and a manicure and pedicure especially for you, champagne, and dinner reservations every night.
He also rented your favorite movies, shitty snack foods that you love, and he hates, rose petals in the room for when you both arrive and fake candles because he didn't want to accidentally burn down the room.
He only hoped that you wouldn't leave him the next time he saw you. Atsumu prayed to anything and everything that he would get another chance and be able to apologize to you before you could even say anything.
After collecting everything he needs and packing a bag for you and him, he was on his way to Suna's, determined to come to you and apologize the right way.
Atsumu knew you like the back of his hand, if you weren't with 'Samu then you were with Suna. The more he starts to think about how much he's missed you and hasn't really seen or talked with you in a while, it hurts. He could see why you wanted to dump his ass.
He had to make it right; he thought after he quickly parked and got out of the car. His skin chilled not only because of the weather but knowing you probably walked through this upset after he said words he wishes he could take back now.
Banging on the door, he didn't waste any time calling for you, "Sunarin! Open up, I know Y/n's in there!" He shouted, not caring that it was well late into the night either.
After a few moments of dogs barking and a couple front porch lights turning on due to his loudness, the door finally opened. Instead of Suna, like Atsumu originally thought, it was you instead.
The harsh knocking woke you up first since you had been sleeping on the couch and it's not like you could ignore it either. 'Tsumu was very adamant about things like this.
You opened the door quickly to cease his pounding on it and was met with familiar eyes that seemed to long for you.
"What do you want?" You cut to the chase, not wanting to hear the familiar sweet-talk he would always use to get out of you being frustrated with him.
"I'm-I'm here ta apologize ta ya Y/n." Atsumu's heart was pounding at the sight of you. Now he always thought you were beyond gorgeous but right now with your hair a mess and red, tired eyes he couldn't help but to feel terrible because he was the cause of this. Of your pain.
"Don't want to hear." You said, shutting the door, planning to ignore his advance of receiving your forgiveness. That is, until his foot was blocking the doorway.
"Please, please Y/n. Jus' let me apologize fer hurtin' ya. Please." He begged, wearing down at your already weary state. You were supposed to be pissed at him for the shit he's caused you, granted you have thought about ending things but now you're not so sure.
"Fine," You stated, leaving the door cracked to where you could shut it if needed be.
"Thank ya," He took a deep breath in before continuing. "I realized after ya left that I was bein' petty about our argument, and even before then too. I haven't been tha best boyfriend lately 'nd you deserve better from me. I'm goin’ ta be better fer ya startin' right now."
The emotion in his eyes as he started became thicker and so did the tightness in your throat. This was all you wanted, a promise that he would be better for you, so you didn't have to beg him to love you like you needed.
You didn't say anything, "I'm sorry fer spoutin' some shit like I did before ya left. I was jus' so mad and exhausted which isn't an excuse, I know." He ran a hand through his hair like earlier.
"I jus' hope ya can forgive me fer bein' so stupid. I realized that I could actually lose ya, yaknow? And that—it really scared me." He finished, hope and nervousness filling his eyes as he waited for a response, a movement, anything from you.
You took a sharp intake of air, "I was going to leave you, you know. I was tired of your shit and being treated like shit from you. I won't hesitate anymore the next time something like this happens, I'll just leave." You glared at the man who has your heart. You didn't want to forgive him but something so small, so tiny had told you to.
Atsumu looked so relieved as he blew out a sigh. "Thank ya, hon. Really. Thank ya so much." He reached through the door opening and hugged a bit of you that he could get.
Seeing your rugged state and blotchy eyes was something he never wanted to see again, especially if he was the cause of it.
"Can ya come with me?" He asked, in hopes of you saying yes. Since you had already stated that you weren't leaving him, his other part of treating you well was still needed to do.
You glanced backwards to make sure you both haven't woken up Suna and then nodded. You presumed that continuing what else that was supposed to happen would be best at your house instead of Suna's.
As you gathered your bag and folded the blanket on the couch, you sent Rin a quick text that you were headed home and would update him.
Getting into the warm car made you fight back the urge to fall asleep, knowing that you would be home within less than five minutes. However, that didn't stop the nulling of the ride from easing you to rest again.
Atsumu was thankful that you had fallen asleep in the car. The hotel was a few towns over, and he didn't really want to explain to you why he was taking a different route. Not to mention that it was the middle of the night too.
He was becoming tired after the hour and a half drive, but he fought to stay awake to check into the hotel and surprise you.
"Honey, hon, wake up." He nudged your shoulder, trying to wake you up gently.
"Hm? Are we home?" You asked, peeling your eyes open, except you weren't in your driveway. You were at a hotel; it was a very tall and large building at that too.
"Atsumu, why are we at a hotel?" You suspiciously asked, an eyebrow raised hoping that he didn't think he was getting lucky just because you forgave his behavior.
"Its'a surprise, come on honey. The valets are goin' to park our car fer us." He said, smiling and gathered a suitcase that you didn't even realize was in the backseat.
You followed along with your brows furrowed and confusion written all over your face. After checking in and getting the room key, Atsumu handed it to you, "I'll carry yer backpack too, ya can get the door, hon."
You assumed he was trying to be sweet and kiss ass since he hurt you but at the same time you felt bad because you had yet to apologize for your hurtful words to him as well.
The carpet of the floors was gentle as you walked down the long hallway and finally reached your room. Number 528 on the gold plate of the door.
You swiped the room key card, and the click was heard as you pushed open the ungodly heavy door. Immediately, you gasped.
The room was absolutely beautiful, red rose petals were scattered throughout the room, and fake candles lit up around the room as well. The lavender scent cascaded through it too, your eyes began to water, you couldn't believe that this was all for you.
"'Tsumu, did you do all of this?" You asked, breathlessly, your voice in your throat hitched as you turned towards him.
"Yes, I did. M’sorry fer hurting ya, hon, I promise. I'll be better fer ya from now on. I swear." You closed the distance between you and him as he let go of the door and it shut.
"I'm sorry too. I also said some hurtful words that I promise I didn't mean. I was just angry and wanted to be treated better by you." You sincerely said, happy now that apologies were out of the way, and he had gone out of his way to plan something like this for you.
"What about practice tomorrow?" You pulled back from the hug you had engulfed him in.
"I took some days offa work fer ya." He smirked his usual, "I gotta make sure ya feel loved yaknow?" Atsumu picked you up and carried you to the bed.
The white bedsheets were a stark contrast from the red rose petals you started playing with. 'Tsumu un-did the covers for you and tucked you in not before shutting the lights and getting in himself.
"I'm sorry this all happened so late, we should sleep in." He murmured from behind you. His warmth radiates like a heater to put you to sleep.
You didn't say anything about the half hard thing poking you in the back as you drifted off to sleep. Neither did 'Tsumu as he shifted his hips away from your ass to make you understand that he didn't expect sex from you.
"S'okay 'Tsumu." You mumbled before drifting to sleep with him holding you. He was glad you both made up, but he was more so excited to treat you well over these next few days.
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After four days of gifts, love, and sweet-talking from Atsumu, you were getting needy, and you both knew it. It had started with him treating you to dinner every single night, breakfast in bed, kisses and random hip grabs throughout the days and even a spa day too.
It was like falling in love all over again from high school. This was the love you craved from your boyfriend. And naturally, it made you want to give him something special. Atsumu hadn't even been the slightest bit sexual with you since this little get-away had started, and that makes you feel all the wilder.
That's how you got yourself in the predicament now. You both were back into the hotel, getting changed for bed. You specifically wore your sexiest pajamas just for his eyes. He told you that tonight was a movie and snack night instead of fancy dining. You were all for it and enjoyed every second of being with him.
However, halfway through the movie, you couldn't help but to shift a lot more. Not really paying attention to the movie but to how you could tell you were having an effect on Atsumu.
You could see it as his jaw clenched and his eyes were fixated on the movie instead of how you were purposefully rubbing your ass on him with the excuse that you're just getting settled.
The dam broke for him and you when you didn't stop grinding on him but instead was using him to get yourself off and a moan slipped out. Suddenly the TV was shut off and you opened your lidded eyes to look over at your boyfriend.
"Y/n. What...?" Atsumu choked out, understandably trying to hold off on the need to make love to you.
"I'm sorry, 'Tsumu. I just want you so bad," You mewled, happy with the work you meticulously planned.
"Ya do? God, fuck, I've been waitin' fer ya ta say somethin'." Atsumu groaned out, as you gave him consent to whatever was about to happen between the two of you.
His strong hands flipped you around to your back and you gasped, forgetting that being a volleyball planner and hitting the gym a lot can cause him to manhandle you.
It's definitely been a while since you both have had sex.
He stuck a hand in your pajama shorts, realizing that you hadn't even put on any underwear either and groaned with need. His cock was painstakingly hard by now from your earlier ministrations.
"Fuck, yer so hot. So needy fer not wearin' any panties too." He chuckled with need.
Soon, you were positioned into a mating press, your legs folded against your naked chest. Above you, Atsumu was roughly giving you the pleasure you needed because with every thrust he gave, his trimmed pubic hair would rub your clit.
You couldn't help the moans that he tore out of you, missing the way he hurts you so bad by going a bit too hard.
"Uhg, fuck, I can't-" You moan to Atsumu, his eyes directly focused on the way his cock disappears inside of your pussy and the white ring you've formed on him.
God, he loved you.
"Yes, ya can. Yer not cummin' yet," He groaned as you squeezed him more when he started rubbing your clit in circles, which made your hips buck and head thrown back.
"Fuck, fuck, ah-" Atsumu's hips stuttered, the pleasure becoming too much and was on the brink of finishing inside your fertile cunt.
When your orgasm crashed onto you, your body shook, and legs tried to flail under his grasp. The tightness eventually stopped ‘Tsumu's thrusts as his hips bucked into yours as he came. You both tried to catch your breath but before Atsumu could stop his mouth he said, "Marry me." breathlessly to you.
Your head snapped out of the fog it was trapped in, and you widen your eyes, "What?" You finally out, your surprise of what he said taking over the moment.
"Marry me, Y/n. I love ya." Atsumu said, his hair damp and sticking to his forehead, his cock still inside of you, and the sweat from your bodies becoming much too hot.
"This isn't tha romantic moment I had planned, but m’serious 'bout marryin' ya." He firmly stated his hands on your hips as he gently pulled out of you to delicately pull you close to him.
"Uh, yes!" You laughed into his chest, what a dork.
You weren't expecting him to propose, especially when he got out of bed and reached into his black dress pants pocket and pulled out a fucking ring.
A huge ring at that.
Now your mouth was agape, you hadn't expected him to have actually bought the ring already. You teared up when he asked if you wanted to put it on, to which you nodded.
It fit like a glove; you were touched.
"I love you so much 'Tsumu, so much."
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a/n: i hope you guys liked this! it was almost 5k words lol, i hope tsum tsum wasn't too ooc <3
405 notes · View notes
lightaflaem · 3 months ago
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𝐩𝐨𝐯: 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐨𝐨 𝐝𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐛𝐲 𝐬𝐮𝐧𝐚 𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐨 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐡𝐞 𝐤𝐞𝐞𝐩𝐬 𝐨𝐧 𝐫𝐞𝐣𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭.
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pairing: tattoo artist!suna x f!reader
genre: semi-angst, hurt/comfort, fluff, suggestive
word count: 5.1k
content warnings: profanities, suggestive themes, mentions of needles, sticks, poking, sharp objects, blood, mentions of abuse, scars, violence, trauma, addiction
summary: after countless attempts to convince your tattoo artist college friend, suna rintaro, to do your body art, you couldn’t understand why he keeps on rejecting you. not until he told and showed you the real reason why.
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“Is this the chair where your clients sit to get their tattoos done?” you asked, pointing at the leather chair in front of you.
“Yeah, where else do you think I got it done?” Suna answered, not removing his eyes from the patterned tape he’s been wrapping on the grip on the gun.
“So, when are you going to do mine?” you hopped on the leather material, arm resting on the extended side as you clean your antecubital area with your other free hand. It’s obviously not set for your height as you tried making yourself comfortable on the depthness of the chair.
“Very funny, Y/N. Now get off that chair and help me set these up. There's small sized gloves under the cabinet beside that chair, wear those before touching anything.” he ordered, not giving a single fuck about your question. Rolling your eyes, you stood up and started searching for the gloves in the compartment.
“Why won’t you do my tatts?”
“‘Cause you're my friend.”
“Seriously, Rintaro? You have favoritism.”
“Seriously, Y/N. I don’t have favoritism and I don’t do tatts for my friends because I already know them. My brain becomes a mush when it comes to thinking of designs when I already know the person.”
Your jaw dropped at his answer. You don’t buy it. Seriously, what the fuck is he playing with? Irked, you intentionally wore the pair of latex with much more force, making it slap against your wrist hard enough to leave marks. You placed a sterile mat on the stainless surface of the table, aligning the vaseline-coated small cups horizontally and started loading it up with black and red inks.
“You’d make a great apprentice.” he commented as he watched you do the preparations the same way he does it before every session. Each and every step was done with fragility, just like how you retained his routine by watching him do the same thing for the past few years of being with him.
“You know, I’ve always wanted to get a red tattoo,” you spoke as you continued filling the cups. “It’s sexy and I think I’ll look hot in it.”
“But you always look hot, with or without that red ink.” Suna said casually, making your heartbeat accelerate but you didn’t let it get into you because he probably said it to his clients most of the time.
“I know right. That’s why when my college friend became a tattoo artist, the force of getting it done doubled up. Specifically by him.” you know that you didn’t fail to emphasize how badly you wanted to get your body art done by him but maybe for him, he saw it as nothing but a mere compliment for his works.
Who would have thought that the quiet kid from one of your elective classes way back in college a few years ago who subsequently also became your close friend because of a mutual friend, the Miya twins, who were your classmates since you’re in elementary school, will become a famous tattoo artist specializing in line arts, minimalism, and patchworks.
Suna also probably never saw that his future will be like this. From just surviving everyday to a big time personality of inks and needles. With the freedom and peace he gained from following his calling, he also took a leap of faith to change his physical appearance from cropping his hair shorter, both arms, chest, and neck full of patchwork of random tattoos, and his signature snake bites that captivated the hearts of his crowd.
He never liked fame, though. He always hides whenever he’s got the chance to escape from paparazzi and respectfully declines the clients he doesn't want to work with and cannot work with. He's hard to get. That makes him more fascinating in the eyes of others. It’s like he’s hidden behind those inks and it will take thousands of needles to uncover. He’s surely one of a kind.
His skill in generating different designs specifically for each client is no joke. A lot of local and international artists and internet personalities are hitting up his instagram direct messages, asking for his details of booking. You vividly remember one of his interviews wherein he was asked if he ever recycled a design for different clients and what makes him unique from other tattoo artists. He answered“Each client has their own blueprint depending on their cup of tea. That’s what makes me unique from other artists. I created my own scheme and let it align on my client’s skin like it’s running out of breath and ink’s the only thing it needed to satisfy its hunger.”
He’s distinct. He’s consistent. He’s a genius.
But why the hell wouldn't he do your tattoo?
“You're an ink virgin, right? Why do you want to get your tattoo done by me so much?” With much curiosity, Suna leaned against the chair, arms crossing against his chest as his eyes squeezed, waiting to scrutinize your answer.
“Why not? It’s because it’s you.” you simply answered back, finally capping the bottle of ink. In your peripheral vision, you saw how Suna’s eyes dilated but still kept his unpleasant posture. “But if you don’t want to ink my body then it’s fine with me. I’ve been pestering you about it since you started and it’s been a few years. I’m not getting any younger, that's why I wanted to at least get my first tattoo before I turn 27.”
Taken aback by your statement, Suna stayed quiet for a few seconds. Finished with your extra lending hands with his set up, you threw the pair of gloves into the yellow trash bag and finally faced the 6 '1 guy. Suna’s lips were pursed before he licked the lower part, tasting the cold metal of his lip piercing.
“Where do you want to get your first tatts?” he questioned as his gaze started lingering on your bare skin.
“I don’t know, do you have a preferred part?” you threw back, not having a single clue on where you wanted to get your first one.
Removing himself from the chair, he took a step forward, slowly making his way towards you. You weren’t sure why but your feet felt like it was glued on the ground. The vision started to get blurry, almost feeling dizzy but you found your vision focusing more on Suna, who’s already in front of you with a small curve of smile written on his face.
“If you ask me where,” he lifted his hand, letting his delicate fingers glide from your shoulder up to your collarbone that sent shivers to your spine. “I prefer it to be somewhere where others can’t see it. Somewhere where I’m the only one who can see it. Somewhere exclusive only for me.” he smirked and pulled himself away from you. “Kidding. Your body, your rules.”
His touch left your skin yet you could still feel his cold fingertips against yours. You felt your breathing stopped as you held it the whole moment he was in front of you and whispered those words to you. Damn you, Suna. He surely knew how to shake your whole existence in a few words.
“I’ll be going away for three days. I’ll go to Tokyo to attend a tattoo convention.” he spoke, not letting his gaze wander to anywhere except you. “If you happen to finally be decisive about the placement before I get back, I’ll do your tatts. In exchange, I’ll tell and show you something.” 
You grinned, finally hitting the jackpot. Bingo.
“Deal. I’ll see you in three days.” 
Suna let out a small chuckle when he saw how happy your eyes were. Silly, he thought. Who knew that a single tattoo could mean the world to a 25-year-old adult like you?
“Oh before I forget,” he suddenly remembered, turning to you once more. “Don’t worry. I’ll update for the next three days.”
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“Holy shit, Rintaro finally agreed to do yer tatts?!” Atsumu exclaimed, almost flipping the table.
“Shut your mouth, you’re spitting the best burger in Hyogo all over the place!” His twin brother, Osamu snarked at him.
Despite graduating from college and living your lives separately, one becoming a professional volleyball player for Japan, the other opening his own onigiri business, and you having your own clothing line, you couldn’t ignore the fact that the Miya twins literally have a special place in your heart. So here you are, sitting across them in a fast food chain with burgers and fries stuffed in your mouth as you continued catching up with each other’s lives after a few months of not seeing each other.
The twins know how much you wanted to get your first tattoo from Rintaro. Giving all their best shots and trying everything within their might, they still cannot lure their old mate into the trap. They were always shut down by Suna, especially Atsumu since he’s the one who’s been doing all of the talking and bargaining because apparently, he’s got a big mouth according to their fox-eyed friend.
They even went as far as recruiting the innocent Sakusa Kiyoomi, also one of their tattoo artist friends who recently opened his shop to blackmail Suna into inking your body; however, the latter just scoffed at their failed idea and told them to try harder again next time. With that, Atsumu shouldered Sakusa’s business permit expenses as a “payment” for pestering him.
“I mean, I’m also surprised, ‘yah know? It took me years to persuade him and now I just have to decide for the placement. But I would love to get it in red ink, though.” you shared your thoughts as you sipped from your diet cola.
“Did you already have a placement in your mind? Maybe your shoulders?” Osamu pointed at your exposed skin from wearing a tank top.
You just shrugged because honestly, you haven’t given it much thought yet. “I have an idea. But Rin told me that he prefers to do it somewhere exclusive only for him.” 
Atsumu bursted out, laughing his whole ass off that earned a few stares from the people around you. You and Osamu were puzzled, giving him a tyrannical look.
“Fucking hell, man. I am so proud,” he said between his laughs. “Rinrin has grown into a man! He’s got balls, Y/N! He finally got the dick, Samu!”
The rest of the night went well as you guys hit karaoke and arcade after dinner just like the old days. If it wasn’t for Atsumu’s official schedule the following day, the three of you plan to invite Suna for a drink because he’s finally returning back tonight from his 3-day tattoo convention in Tokyo. 
He kept his word on updating you. The very first thing that you saw when you opened your eyes on his first day in Tokyo was a ‘good morning’ text, followed by a mirror picture of him wearing a featured shirt from your summer collection. You blushed at the fact that he’s wearing your own creation even though he’s very supportive of it since the very start. He looked really good in your design.You told him that he doesn’t need to update you that much but his response was ‘Na uh. I’ll still update you so hurry up and think about where you wanted to get it, Ma’am.’. You knew that it was just a polite term yet, it’s enough to make your knees feel weak. But you were quick enough to shake the thoughts off, thinking that it’s just a friendly term to address his future client.
As the darkness engulfed the sky, the twins dropped you off in front of your apartment and bid them goodbye. It’s already 9 in the evening and you wonder if Suna’s already back in Hyogo because your message was left delivered and you haven’t received a single text from him since this afternoon.
As if on cue, your phone buzzed, flashing Suna’s contact photo on the screen.
Rintaro is calling…
“Yo.” you answered, unlocking the door of your unit.
“Ma’am? Did you just get home?” his raspy voice boomed on the other line of the phone. You never knew how much you longed for his presence, not until you heard his voice again for the first time in 3 days.
“Yup. We went to karaoke and arcade after dinner. We’re supposed to invite you for drinks but Tsumu’s got an official sched tomorrow.” you paused, kicking your shoe on the rack. “How about you? Did you just get home?”
“Yeah. Just got here and the first thing I did was to call you after fully charging my phone. It’s been dead since afternoon because I lost my charger. M’sorry for not messaging you.” you don’t know if you’re just a little bit tired from earlier but you could sense the hidden craving behind his voice.
“It’s okay, Rin. It’s no big deal,” you assured, as it was really not a big deal for you. “So, about the offer.”
You heard him clicking his tongue, followed by a soft chuckle. “Have you thought where you wanted to get your first ones, Ma’am?”
“Mhm. You wanna know where?” 
“Surprise me.”
It made you giggle like a highschool kid talking to her crush for the first time. Suna is really good with his words. On the other line, Suna was leaning his head against his black bed frame, unintentionally scratching his bare chest as he’s not used to wearing a top inside his house and saw it. He took a deep breath before biting his lower lip to surpass the fact that he’s thrilled with the thought of him finally marking your skin.
“Where do you want to get it done? It can be in my studio but I can also do home service, exclusive only for you.”
“I want to get it done in the studio. I wanted to experience sitting in your leather chair as a client, Sir.”
Damn. Something ignited inside Suna when he heard you calling Sir, right back when he started calling you Ma’am. It’s like a switch being flipped on. Composing his mind and shaking any thoughts, he nodded as if you’re seeing him right now.
“Alright then. We’ll start tomorrow at nine in the morning. Make sure to get enough sleep, eat breakfast and drink water. I’ll brief you tomorrow once we’re there, Ma’am. Remember that in exchange, I’ll tell and show you something.” he reminded, knowing that you don’t like going to bed early.
“Wow, your customer service is top tier.” you commended as your mind started intensifying with the thought of finally doing it tomorrow.
“Exclusive only for you, Ma’am.” he reminded once again, trying to hint you up.
“Okay, Sir. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“I’ll see you. Good night, Y/N.”
Fuck. It’s not the first time Suna has said that to you but your insides are rumbling. You felt your blood rushing as your vital organ increased the pumping because anytime now, you could feel suffocated from the excitement. Calm down. Calm down.
“Good night, Rin.”
With that, he let you hang up the call. Later that night, you tried your best to get a good night's sleep yet in your fantasy, you still feel like you’re sleep calling with Suna. You couldn’t take your mind off with his words earlier. He’s going to tell and show you something? Still trying to squeeze every cell of your brain, you cannot pulp any idea on what it’s going to be.
You just hope it’s nothing serious because it’s actually scary, the thought of him being dead serious on something. You shrugged off any negative thoughts and wished that it's nothing because you wouldn’t be able to grasp if it’s going to significantly impact your life in a pessimistic way. You might lose your shit because you know that you’re clearly, madly, deeply attached to Suna Rintaro.
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“So this is how it feels like to sit right here.” you spoke with awe as you comfortably aligned yourself with the chair’s depth. It was adjusted perfectly for your height.
Suna grinned, setting up the materials on the stainless table beside you. You offered to help but he quickly declined it, reasoning that you’re here as a client today, not as his self-labeled apprentice.
Despite being here lots of time already, it felt like this was the first time you’ve seen his studio. The details you didn’t notice before suddenly popped in your vision, such as the fern green wallpaper and plants that he’s been watering regularly. On the outside, it looks like Suna’s more of a monochrome guy but in reality, he adores green so much because according to him, it brings the dull color into life. For him, it feels like life.
You also noticed the usual well-lit led ceiling lights wrapped around the four corners of his studio are now dimly-lit as well as the aroma of lavender mint from his scented candles that he ignited for the first time since he got it lingering probably to cover up the smell of blood, dead skin, and ink. Oh, and there’s also an inspired portrait of his favorite characters from his favorite movies drawn in his own artstyle framed and hung on the walls. His usual arctic monkeys and heavy metal playlist was replaced with some 88rising, r&b, and keshi which are you favorite artists and genre at the moment,
You never took your time to appreciate Suna’s studio this much until now. 
“Okay Ma’am, show me where you wanted it to be placed.” he asked, almost ordering you. Taking a deep inhale, you were surely nervous as heck right now but you already made your mind. Somewhere where he’s the only one who can see it. Somewhere exclusive only for him, huh?
You slowly lifted your white shirt, revealing your red lace bralette that perfectly hugged your breasts. You specifically chose this outfit for this occasion. Swallowing a lump, you pointed at your waist up to the side of your right boob, passing it and nearly up to your armpit. “Here. I wanted to get it here.”
Suna was quiet the whole time yet his widened foxy eyes tell you otherwise. He’s speechless. His eyes were fixated on you, admiring the view which he saw for the first time. He knows that you’re sexy and elegant, but he didn’t expect that you’re this sexy. In his eyes, you are the most beautiful art he’s ever seen in his whole life. He fought the urge to hold you in your waist because he wanted to feel your skin against his.
“Tough spot. Damn Ma’am, you’re courageous.” he commented on your preference. You felt your cheeks heating up as embarrassment started creeping in because Suna hasn’t removed his gaze yet on your body. “Can I…touch it? I’ll just…assess it.”
You nodded, pressing your lips together as Suna’s gloved hand made its way to your body. He traced your torso up to your ribcage and he couldn’t help but to squeeze a small smile in between.
“Will it hurt?” you hesitantly asked.
“It will. But I’ll be gentle, I promise.” you almost choked on his answer because it gave you other ideas. “Now make yourself comfortable. Tell me if it hurts, we’ll take a break. I’ll do my best to make it painless but I cannot guarantee.”
You fixed your position on the inclined chair, making yourself at home on your left side but your torso was slightly flattened down, facing him to get a better access to the area, especially your sides up to your armpit. Suna sat down in the swivel stool and faced you from your left, maintaining his demeanor as he grabbed the stencil he prepared. You intentionally didn’t ask about the design he planned because you also wanted to surprise yourself with Suna's creativity. You wanted to astonish yourself and it pretty much tells how big your trust is when it comes to Suna.
Once he’s done with shaving the excess hair, the paper hits your side, tickling your skin as Suna’s gloved hand starts flattening it against your body. It was followed by the cold sensation of the adhesive washing the paper. His right pinky accidentally brushed against your boob, making you scream internally. In no time, he’s already removing the piece of paper, indicating that the stencil’s already in place.
Suna licked his lower lip and you noticed how he wore his usual snake bites differently today by swapping the horseshoe jewelry into a plain one. He pushed himself forward but still maintained the distance between the two of you. Reaching out for the tattoo gun, you’ve already had an idea how it sounded but when he tested it and made a whirring sound that buzzed on your ears, you found yourself clutching the hem of Suna’s shirt due to the tense building up inside your stomach.
“You alright, Y/N?” he asked, staring down at you. The whole point of view sent you to spiral as you never imagined yourself being under Suna.
“Yeah, sorry. I hope you don’t mind this.” you pointed at your hands curled into his shirt which earned him a few laughs. Suna thought that it was so fucking cute when look so small to him.
“You’re free to hold me wherever.” he smiled, caressing your exposed shoulder as a sign of assurance. “Remember that if it hurts too much, just tap out and we can take a break, Ma’am.”
Bobbing your head, you closed your eyes and took a deep breath as the sound of the gun reverberated once again. Suna started poking the needle against your skin. The first five minutes were much more uncomfortable rather than painful - almost feeling like a slow rug burn. However, as he moved upwards and started hitting the bones of your side ribs, it started feeling hell that you couldn’t help but small whimpers escaped from your mouth. It stings like crazy.
“Are you okay? We can take a break. Do you want some water?” Suna offered concern as he saw your forehead creased into an agonizing expression.
“N-no, just continue. I’ll eventually get used to it.” you declared, not wanting to raise your white flag.
Suna nodded and started working on it again. You could feel like he’s outlining something in more of a swivel way. You could also feel like there’s a lot of lines and shading going on. The next 30 minutes were spent with the two of you talking about college, reminiscing the memories you shared together as well as with the Miya twins. Another 30 minutes and he’s already wrapping up by taking one last wipe before applying the tattoo jelly on the area. 
“I thought that it will be painful as fuck,” you said truthfully. “You wrecked my expectations, Rin.” 
“Well, it’s an honor to be complimented by you. I told you, I’ll be gentle.” he winked, removing his gloves on his hands. “Congratulations, Y/N. You’re no longer a tattoo virgin.”
Laughters echoed in the room as he clapped at your achievement. He grabbed the mirror that was lying beside your chair and signaled you to sit up. Obeying him, you lifted yourself as you felt your skin being stretched.
“I hope you like my design, Y/N.” flipping the mirror, you saw your inked skin for the first time.
Your mouth parted, eyes filled with wonderstruck. 
There’s a lot of fine lines from the upper part of your side, down to your ribs, and finally your waist. The lines were broken yet some of them were connected with each other. In the middle, there’s multiple flowers drawn in outline, looking like they have bloomed together. You couldn’t elucidate the design in words yet your brain could tell how it looks and your heart could tell how it feels like to be inked distinctively.
You finally understood why they call Suna a genius. Because he’s the only one who has the ability to make you feel like you're abstract and he’s the only one who can understand you.
“Do you like it?” he asked, a little bit nervous as you stayed silent.
“Like?” you questioned. “I fucking love it, Rintarou. I love it so much that it made me speechless… Thank you. Wow…Seriously, thank you.”
You’re not kidding. You’re not exaggerating. You were at a loss for words because only the silence of appreciation could speak for right now on how you feel about the design.
Pleased, a genuine smile carved on Suna’s lips as he watched you beaming with joy on your first body art done by none other than him.
“Now in exchange, I want you to pop my shirt.” he cleared his throat, bringing the mirror down as he signaled you.. Your face was puzzled. Pop…his shirt? “Come here, Y/N. Take off my shirt.”
You were hesitant at first but you gradually moved towards him and lifted his shirt out of his body. You have never seen him shirtless before because as far as you know, it makes him uncomfortable to show some skin to others before that’s why you never saw him wearing sleeveless before. And now he’s asking you to pop his shirt for what reason?
Pulling the fabric above, Suna’s exposed skin was hit with the cool air. You gasped when you saw multiple scars across the chest and lower body. Some of them formed multiple layers above each other, making the skin rise from its base. He doesn’t have any tattoo in his lower body but he has one in his chest, near his heart. And it was…shit. Could it be…?
“You see, Y/N, I never really talked about this before but my dad used to uh, beat me up with a socket wrench when I was a child,” he spoke, voice filled with coldness. “He’s an addict and whenever he doesn’t have the money to support his damn addiction, he’ll find another way to release his stress and that is to beat me up whenever he’s got the fucking chance.”
You felt like all the nerves in your body were paralyzed as your eyes slowly widened, sinking his words inside your head. He’s dad is what? Beating him? With a socket wrench? Fuck.
“I thought I wouldn’t be able to reach college, ya know? That’s why when I was given the privilege to still continue my education, I didn’t let it go to waste as I thought that it was the only way to escape from the madness of my life.” his fingers brushed against his scars. It was healed, probably years ago yet you could visibly see the paint being painted on his face as he felt the trace of his yesterday.
“And suddenly, all of this turned all the way around when I became friends with the twins and you.” he lifted his gaze, maintaining his eye contact with you. Something ignited inside Suna when he met your orbs. He felt like colors bursted in his eyes. “When my dad finally got the help he needed and I made peace with whatever demons I have, that’s when I felt like I had another chance with life. That’s why when I started taking interest in inking, I took it very seriously because for the first time, I saw that I finally saw that I got the chance to stand in life. To live, not just to survive.”
The sincere confession made a short pang inside your heart. All this time, he was hurting. All the damn time, he’s living his life in hell. And being friends with him, just being by his side, made him realize that he can finally free himself from the uncanny of his life.
“The reason why I keep on rejecting your request is because I am not ready yet. Y/N, I spent my whole career crafting the most unique design I could ever create for you. Just for you. I wanted to make it the best among the rest. Also, as cheesy as it may sound, I wanted to be the man worthy of inking your very first tattoo.”
You felt like your heart’s going feral inside your ribcage. Suna stood up in front of you, bare bodies touching each other. You could feel his minty hot breath tickling your nose despite the coldness of the room. Slowly, he grabbed both of your hands and intertwined your fingers together before bringing it in front of you to plant a soft kiss on it.
“I’m sorry that it took me this much time to be worthy of everything. Thank you for not giving up on me. You may notice the lines in your tattoos, it represents the thought of despite being broken, you could still find your way back and bloom within it. Y/N, you gave me that reason to bloom again at my own pace.”
He dragged your hands in his chest, making you feel the only tattoo he has on his upper body. “Y/N, this is your initials. This was my very first tattoo and I intentionally got it in my heart so that whenever I hold my heart, I’ll always remember that you’re here.”
Suna’s eyes glimmered, mirroring yours as you could feel him getting more emotional any second. Giving up, you stood on your toes, enclosing the centimeters given between the two of you by latching your lips to his. Without giving it a second thought, Suna pulled you closer, tilting his head to deepen the kiss. It was a hot, wet kiss that the two of you shared as tears started tearing down in your cheeks. When Suna tasted the salty liquid, he finally let his guard down and cried himself between the sloppy kiss.
Pulling away, both of you were panting as your cheeks were stained with the liquid that you shared. You let out a chuckle and pulled him into a tight hug which he gladly returned.
“You’re never late, Suna. You will always be the tattoo artist that captivated my heart, no matter what and no matter how long it takes. I’ll always wait for your creations, and I’ll kiss every one of your flaws until you realize you’re love.”
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© lightaflaem. do not repost on any platform.
bonus
y/n's "exclusive" tattoo made it to suna's instagram :]
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710 notes · View notes
elenadvrx · 11 months ago
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"princess, come on. i'm really sorry."
suna rintarou likes to play pranks on you. but this time, it went too far.
"no, suna. i don't want to talk to you." with a frown on your face and your arms crossed, you faced away from his general direction.
"suna?" he chuckled nervously, knowing you were really upset if you refused to call him 'rin' or 'baby'. "princess, i'm really sorry for doing that to you. i promise to not do that again, okay?" he tilted his head to try to get you to look at him.
a few days ago, you came home from work and wanted to cuddle with your boyfriend because you had a bad day at work. things weren't going as well as you hoped so you were looking forward to get some comfort in his arms. your heart ached when your silent request for cuddles were rejected but you brushed it off thinking that maybe he wasn't in the mood for it.
until the same thing happened the next day and the day after. whenever you initiated hugs or kisses, suna grunted and moved away, focusing on whatever was on his phone. not knowing what to do, you sat on the sofa and watched tv while suna continued to type away on his phone on the other end of the sofa. then, his phone rang and he answered the call.
"yeah, himeko? you need help? sure, i'll come over in a few." himeko. isn't she the one who was always fawning around suna?
before you could grasp what was happening, suna was already putting on his shoes. panicking, you rushed over towards him, "rin? where are you going?"
"hmm? i'm heading to himeko's. apparently she needs help with some stuff." to be honest, seeing the crestfallen expression on your face with those beady eyes, he hesitated to continue this prank but chose to press on. (tsk the ego)
"oh… okay." you hesitantly smile at suna, watching him leave through the door of your shared home.
when the door click shut, you stood at the same spot for what felt like an eternity before deciding to go back to sit on the sofa. millions of thoughts went through your mind, thinking about all the posibilities on what you may have done for him to have ignored you for three days but left immediately when another girl called for him.
what if he was tired of you? what if… he decided that himeko was actually so much better than you and was slowly distancing himself from you to prepare you for the eventual breakup? what if-
"princess, baby, i can't do it!" suna rushed through the door and head over to you to start explaining.
after a few minutes, he stopped talking and looked at you. he waited with bated breath for your scolding and beatings but none came.
which brings us back to the present.
facing away from him, your eyes started watering and your lips quiver. just a moment ago you were scared and anxious because you thought he was done with you, running away to be with another girl. and you never got that comfort from him since three days ago so all your feelings and emotions were pent up till now.
"princess? please, talk to me?" he spoke softly, so softly as if a glass would shatter if he were to speak any louder.
you hear hesitant patters of feet until suna's figure came into your peripheral, kneeling down before you and gently cupping your chin to make you face him instead. touch starved, his gentle touch made a tear run down your cheek, then down his hand.
"oh princess, i'm so sorry" suna's focused gaze on you got you crying and sobbing as you dove straight to his arms (which he let out an 'oomph' sound from the sudden impact), hiding your face on his chest.
feeling petty, you started punching his chest lightly but slowly start hitting him straight on with both your fists and palms, crying at the same time.
"ow ow! okay, yeah i deserve that but baby, could you hit me a little softer?" he chuckles trying to get a hold of your flailing arms. just as he got a hold on you, you immediately retracted your arms to cover your face.
"you're so mean! i really thought you were about to leave me and that you don't love me anymore!" more tears started trickling down before you could stop them. "i had a really bad day and all i wanted was to cuddle with you…" you started hicupping, emotions all over the place.
"hey, stop baby, i will always love you and i will never leave you, okay? i'm so stupid, gosh, i give you hitting privileges all you want. here, let me hit myself too." he hit himself on his head but winced when he did it too hard, rubbing the sore part.
chuckling a little at the sight, you started to calm down. "don't hit yourself, only i can hit you." you reached out to his head to help dissipate the soreness too.
grabbing your hand, suna softly kisses your inner wrist before releasing it to palm your face and start peppering kisses all over it, with soft "i love you"s in between. he gave a last kiss on your lips before releasing a soft sigh against it.
"i'm sorry, princess." he plopped his forehead to rest on your shoulder before tightly wrapping his arms around your waist.
"mm, you're forgiven. but do something stupid like this again and i'll leave your ass immediately." you reciprocate his embrace, one hand wrapping around his shoulder while the other slowly stroke his hair.
"fair. just know that i love you too much to let you leave me heh." placing a kiss on your neck, he retreated before lifting you up from the sofa to carry you to the bedroom.
"now, let's get the cuddles that you wanted and you tell me what happened at work. alright, princess?"
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zumicho · 7 months ago
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WHITE DENIM OVERALLS — a suna rintarou x reader SMAU
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m.list
tags, cws grief & loss, found family, angst, possibly ooc, language
synopsis : you stopped believing in love the day your dad passed—leaving you to pay the debt left off from building his dream bakery. when your long term boyfriend breaks off a three year long relationship via text, you wonder if you have any more life left to live. heaven sends you a surprise ◡̈
© ZUMICHO 2024 all rights reserved. do not repost, edit, or translate my works on any platform.
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profiles
prologue: tiny suburban bakery
001: iced lemon loaves / self deprecating humor
002: venn diagram
003: monsters under the bed
004: softness vs. survival
005: not waiting for you anymore
006: building the same house
007: blue door deja vu
epilogue: somewhere between
status : completed 🍞
extras ness’ extras ness’ recs + overview
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930 notes · View notes
kiesbrainjuice · 6 months ago
Note
imagine kuroo or any other hq character saying 'i know, baby i know' when comforting yn hukjwbvibvinbowudfhbisro
— I KNOW BABY, I KNOW ! multiple
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pr : timeskip!kuroo x reader; timeskip!bokuto x reader; timeskip!suna x reader; timeskip!kageyama x reader; timeskip!oikawa x reader; timeskip!hoshiumi x reader
syn : you have a melt down and they comfort you (ik baby, ik)
wc : 5.3k
tw : cuddles, pure fluff!
a/n : hii ! luvv the idea of that req, I did it for many of my favs and for Kuroo ofccc (one of my favs too) it took a long time to make it perfection(in my opinion) :))
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KUROO TETSURO
The rain drummed against the windows as you curled up on the couch, feeling like the weight of the world was crushing you. Tears streamed down your face, and you couldn't hold back the sobs any longer. That's when you felt the couch dip beside you and a familiar warmth envelop you.
"Hey, hey," Kuroo's voice was soft as he pulled you into his arms. "What's going on, babe?"
You buried your face in his chest, clinging to his shirt. "Everything's unwell, Tetsu," you managed between sobs.
His hand moved to stroke your hair, his touch gentle and soothing. "Talk to me. What's got you so upset?"
Taking a shaky breath, you tried to gather your thoughts. "It's... it's everything. Work's a nightmare, I'm drowning in deadlines. And then there's all this family drama... I just... I can't handle it all."
"I know, baby, I know," Kuroo murmured, his voice filled with understanding. "It's a lot to deal with. But you're not alone in this, okay? I'm right here with you."
You nodded against his chest, his steady heartbeat a calming rhythm. "I feel like I'm letting everyone down," you whispered. "Like no matter what I do, it's never enough."
Kuroo pulled back slightly, just enough to look into your eyes. His gaze was intense but warm. "Hey, look at me. You're not letting anyone down. You're doing your best, and that's all anyone can ask for. We all have rough patches."
"But what if my best isn't good enough?" you asked, voice barely audible.
He cupped your face in his hands, thumbs gently wiping away your tears. "Your best is always good enough for me. And for anyone who really matters. You're incredible, you know that? The way you keep pushing forward, even when things get tough... that's real strength."
You leaned into his touch, closing your eyes. "I don't feel very strong right now."
"That's okay," Kuroo said softly. "You don't have to be strong all the time. That's what I'm here for. Let me be strong for you when you need it."
A small smile tugged at your lips despite everything. "What did I do to deserve you?"
"You're you," he replied simply. "That's more than enough."
You sat in comfortable silence for a while, his fingers running through your hair, occasionally massaging your scalp. The rhythmic motion slowly eased some of the tension from your body.
"Remember that time we got caught in that sudden downpour after practice?" Kuroo asked suddenly, a hint of amusement in his voice.
You couldn't help but chuckle softly. "How could I forget? You tried to cover both of us with your jacket."
"Hey, I was being chivalrous," he protested with a mock pout.
"You were being ridiculous," you countered, feeling a bit lighter. "We ended up soaked anyway."
"Yeah, but it was fun, wasn't it?" He grinned down at you. "We laughed the whole way home."
The memory warmed you from the inside. "And then we made hot chocolate and binge-watched movies all night."
"Exactly," Kuroo said, his voice softening. "Even when things don't go as planned, we always find a way to make it work. Together."
You nodded, snuggling closer to him. "Thank you, Tetsu. For always being here."
"Always," he promised, pressing a kiss to your forehead. "I'm not going anywhere, babe. No matter what."
You sat there for a while longer, listening to the rain and Kuroo's steady breathing. The storm inside you gradually calmed, replaced by a sense of peace.
"Hey," Kuroo said after a while. "How about we order some takeout and have a movie night? Just like old times."
The idea brought a genuine smile to your face. "That sounds perfect."
"Any requests?" he asked, reaching for his phone.
"Surprise me," you said, feeling a flicker of excitement.
As Kuroo placed the order, you settled more comfortably against him, feeling truly relaxed for the first time in days.
"You know," Kuroo said thoughtfully, "it's okay to not have everything figured out. We're in this together, yeah? Whatever comes our way, we'll face it as a team."
You looked up at him, feeling a surge of love and gratitude. "Yeah, we will."
He grinned, that familiar mischievous glint in his eyes. "Besides, I'm pretty sure between your brains and my devastatingly good looks, we can handle anything."
You laughed, swatting his arm playfully. "You're ridiculous."
"You love it," he retorted, leaning down to kiss you softly.
You kissed him back, pouring all your gratitude and love into it. When you pulled apart, you felt lighter, more hopeful.
"So," Kuroo said, reaching for the remote. "What are we watching? Your pick. Just nothing too sappy, okay? I've got a reputation to maintain."
You raised an eyebrow. "A reputation? As what, exactly?"
"As a cool, collected guy who definitely doesn't cry at movies," he said with a straight face.
"Oh really?" you teased. "So that wasn't you sobbing into my shoulder during 'Your Name'?"
Kuroo gasped dramatically. "I was not sobbing. I had something in my eye. Both eyes. For two hours."
You couldn't help but giggle. "Sure, sure. And I suppose you were just 'stretching' when you reached for the tissues during 'A Silent Voice'?"
"Exactly," he nodded solemnly. "It's important to keep your arms limber, you know. Volleyball and all that."
"Uh-huh," you said, your mood lifting with each moment of banter. "And I suppose your nose just happened to be running during 'Grave of the Fireflies'?"
Kuroo clutched his chest in mock offense. "How dare you bring that up? That's a low blow, babe. Low blow."
You laughed outright, the sound filling the room. "I'm sorry, I forgot about your 'reputation'."
"That's right," he said, puffing out his chest. "I'm Kuroo Tetsurou, former captain of Nekoma, and definitely not a crier at emotional movies."
"Of course," you agreed, your voice dripping with sarcasm. "My mistake."
He grinned down at you, clearly pleased to see you laughing. "That's more like it. There's that smile I love."
You felt your cheeks warm slightly. "Thanks, Tetsu. For everything."
"Anytime, babe," he said, his tone softening. "But don't go spreading rumors about me crying at movies, okay? I've got to keep some mysteries alive in this relationship."
"Oh?" you raised an eyebrow. "And what mysteries would those be?"
"Well, for one, how I maintain this perfect bed head," he ran a hand through his perpetually messy hair. "It's an art form, really."
You snorted. "I hate to break it to you, but I've seen you first thing in the morning. That's no art form – that's just your hair rebelling against gravity."
"You wound me," Kuroo clutched his heart again. "Here I am, comforting you in your time of need, and you attack my hair. The audacity."
You giggled, feeling the last of your earlier stress melt away. "I'm sorry. Your hair is perfect, just like the rest of you."
"Now that's more like it," he smirked, pulling you closer. "Keep the compliments coming. They fuel my ego."
"As if your ego needs any more fuel," you retorted, but there was no heat in your words.
Kuroo chuckled, the sound rumbling in his chest. "True. But I'll never say no to praise from my favorite person."
As you settled in to wait for the food and pick a movie, you realized how much lighter you felt. The problems from earlier hadn't disappeared, but somehow, with Kuroo's mix of sincere support and playful teasing, they seemed more manageable.
"Hey, Tetsu?" you said softly.
"Yeah, babe?"
"Thank you. For always knowing how to make me feel better."
His expression softened, and he pressed a kiss to your forehead. "Always. That's what I'm here for. Well, that and to provide eye candy, of course."
You laughed again, snuggling closer to him. "Of course. What would I do without your stunning good looks to distract me from my problems?"
"You’ll never have to find out," he said with a wink.
As you scrolled through movie options, debating the merits of various films (with Kuroo adamantly denying any interest in the more emotional ones), you felt truly at peace.
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BOKUTO KOTARO
The rain drummed against the windows as you curled up on the couch, feeling like the weight of the world was crushing you. Tears streamed down your face, and you couldn't hold back the sobs any longer. That's when you felt the couch dip beside you and a familiar presence settle next to you.
"Hey, hey, hey," Bokuto's voice was unusually subdued as he awkwardly patted your shoulder. "What's... uh, what's going on?"
You buried your face in your hands, your body shaking with sobs. "It's my pet, Bou’," you managed between gasps. "The vet called. They... they said there's nothing more they can do."
"Oh," Bokuto said, his hand freezing mid-pat. "That's... that's really bad. Um, do you want some water or something?"
You shook your head, trying to catch your breath. "I don't know how to say goodbye," you whispered.
Bokuto shifted uncomfortably beside you. "I know baby, I know, w-well, maybe... maybe you could give them a really big hug? That always makes me feel better."
Despite your pain, you couldn't help but let out a watery chuckle. "It's not that simple, Bou’."
"Right, right," he nodded, running a hand through his hair. "Sorry, I'm not good at this stuff. But hey, remember that time your pet ate my favorite knee pads? That was pretty funny, right?"
You blinked at him, torn between laughter and more tears. "Bou’, I don't think now's the time for funny stories."
"Oh," he deflated slightly. "Yeah, you're probably right. Um... do you want me to call Akaashi? He's better at this kind of thing."
You shook your head, wiping your eyes. "No, it's okay. I just... I just need you here."
"Okay," Bokuto nodded, determination setting in his features. "I can do that. I'm really good at being here. The best, even!"
He hesitantly wrapped an arm around you, pulling you against his side. It was a bit too tight, a bit too awkward, but it was comforting in its own way.
"You know," he said after a moment of silence, "I'm not sure what to say to make you feel better. But I'm here, okay? And I'll stay as long as you need me to."
You nodded against his chest, feeling a rush of affection for your well-meaning but slightly clueless boyfriend. "Thank you, Bou’. That means a lot."
"And hey," he added, his voice brightening slightly, "if you want, we could go get some ice cream later. Ice cream always makes me feel better when I'm sad."
You couldn't help but smile a little through your tears. "Maybe later," you agreed softly.
Bokuto nodded, looking pleased that he'd made a helpful suggestion. He continued to hold you, occasionally patting your back or making small, encouraging noises. It wasn't perfect comfort, but it was genuine and uniquely Bokuto.
As the evening wore on, you and Bokuto settled into a more comfortable position on the couch. You were curled up against his chest, his arms wrapped around you in a protective embrace. The rain continued to patter against the windows, creating a soothing background noise.
"Hey," Bokuto said suddenly, his voice vibrating in his chest. "Did I ever tell you about the time Kuroo and I tried to teach Kenma how to spike?"
You shook your head slightly, curious despite your lingering sadness.
"Oh man, it was hilarious," Bokuto continued, his voice taking on that excited tone he always got when telling a story. "So, Kenma's always been more of a setter, right? But Kuroo had this brilliant idea that Kenma should learn to spike too."
As Bokuto launched into the tale, complete with animated hand gestures that jostled you slightly, you found yourself getting caught up in the story despite yourself.
"And then," Bokuto was saying, barely containing his laughter, "Kenma just looks at us, deadpan as ever, and says 'I think I'll stick to setting.' Meanwhile, Kuroo's still tangled in the net!"
You couldn't help but chuckle softly at the mental image. "Poor Kuroo," you murmured.
"Nah, he deserved it," Bokuto grinned. "He's the one who came up with the idea in the first place."
There was a moment of comfortable silence before Bokuto spoke again. "Hey, remember that volleyball match we went to last month? The one where that player did that amazing cross-court spike?"
You nodded, a small smile tugging at your lips as you recalled Bokuto's excitement during that game.
"Well," Bokuto continued, his voice taking on a conspiratorial tone, "I've been practicing that move. I think I've almost got it down. Maybe... maybe when you're feeling up to it, you could come watch me practice?"
The invitation was clearly Bokuto's attempt at giving you something to look forward to. It was clumsy but sweet, and you felt a rush of affection for him.
"I'd like that," you said softly.
Bokuto beamed, clearly pleased with himself. "Great! It's going to be awesome, you'll see. I might even let you toss for me a few times."
You raised an eyebrow. "Let me? I thought you loved my tosses."
"Of course I do!" Bokuto backpedaled quickly. "Your tosses are the best! Well, maybe second best after Akaashi's. But don't tell him I said that."
You chuckled softly, snuggling closer to him. "Your secret's safe with me."
As Bokuto continued to chatter about volleyball, his latest video game obsession, and a funny thing he saw on TV the other day, you found your mind drifting away from your earlier sadness. The pain wasn't gone, but Bokuto's presence and his earnest attempts to cheer you up were like a balm to your aching heart.
You weren't okay yet, but wrapped in Bokuto's warm embrace, listening to his animated stories, you felt like maybe, eventually, you would be.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​
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SUNA RINTAROU
The rain drummed against the windows as you curled up on the couch, feeling like the weight of the world was crushing you. Tears streamed down your face, and you couldn't hold back the sobs any longer. That's when you felt the couch dip beside you and a familiar presence settle next to you.
"Hey," Suna's voice was quiet as he sat down, maintaining a slight distance. "What's going on?"
You buried your face in your hands, your body shaking with sobs. "I didn't get the job, Rin," you managed between gasps. "The one I've been working towards for months. They... they said I wasn't what they were looking for."
"Oh," Suna said, his voice neutral but his eyes softening slightly. "That's rough."
You shook your head, trying to catch your breath. "I don't know what to do now," you whispered. "I put everything into this."
Suna was silent for a moment, then slowly reached out and placed his hand on your back. "I know baby, I know, but it's not the end," he said finally, his voice low and calm. "There will be other opportunities."
Despite your disappointment, you found his steady presence oddly comforting. "But I wanted this one so badly," you admitted.
"I know," Suna replied, his hand moving in small circles on your back. "It's okay to be upset about it. Take your time to process."
You blinked at him, surprised by his insight. "I didn't think you'd understand," you said softly.
Suna shrugged, a tiny smirk tugging at his lips. "I'm full of surprises."
You leaned into him slightly, and he adjusted his position to accommodate you. His arm wrapped around you, not too tight, just enough to let you know he was there.
"Want me to order some takeout?" he asked after a moment of silence. "Might help take your mind off things for a bit."
You nodded, wiping your eyes. "That sounds good. Can we just... sit here for a while after that?"
"Sure," Suna nodded, reaching for his phone with his free hand. "I can do that."
He didn't say much more as he placed the order, but his presence remained steady and calming. Every now and then, he'd squeeze your shoulder gently or brush a strand of hair from your face.
"You know," he said after a while, his voice quiet, "it's okay to feel disappointed. But don't let this define you. You're more than just this one opportunity."
You nodded against his chest, feeling a rush of gratitude for your normally aloof but surprisingly perceptive boyfriend. "Thank you, Rin. This... this helps."
Suna hummed in acknowledgment, his fingers idly playing with your hair. It wasn't an overly emotional display of comfort, but it was genuine and uniquely Suna.
As the evening progressed, the rain outside intensified, creating a cozy atmosphere inside. The takeout Suna had ordered arrived, and you both ate in comfortable silence, with Suna occasionally glancing at you to make sure you were eating.
After dinner, Suna wordlessly pulled you back to the couch, this time positioning himself so that he was lying down with you nestled against his chest. His arms wrapped around you securely, one hand gently stroking your hair.
"Better?" he murmured, his voice a low rumble in his chest.
You nodded, snuggling closer to him. "Much better," you whispered.
Suna's usual stoic expression softened slightly, a rare, gentle smile tugging at his lips. "Good," he said, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead.
You lay there in comfortable silence for a while, listening to the rain and Suna's steady heartbeat. His fingers continued to run through your hair, occasionally massaging your scalp in a way that made you practically melt against him.
"You know," Suna said after a while, his voice uncharacteristically gentle, "I'm proud of you."
You tilted your head to look up at him, surprised. "What for? I didn't get the job."
Suna shook his head slightly. "For trying. For putting yourself out there. That takes guts."
His words warmed you from the inside, and you felt tears prick at your eyes again – but this time, they were tears of gratitude and love.
"Thanks, Rin," you whispered, burying your face in his chest.
Suna's arms tightened around you slightly. "Hey," he said, his voice soft but firm. "Look at me."
You raised your head, meeting his intense gaze.
"You're amazing," he said, his tone leaving no room for argument. "One setback doesn't change that. Got it?"
You nodded, a small smile forming on your lips. "Got it."
"Good," Suna said, pulling you close again. "Now, how about we watch that terrible reality show you love? I'll even promise not to make fun of it... much."
You couldn't help but laugh, the sound muffled against his chest. "You're the best, you know that?"
Suna smirked, reaching for the remote. "I know," he said, his tone playful. "Don't tell anyone though. I have a reputation to maintain."
As the show started playing, you settled more comfortably against Suna, feeling truly relaxed for the first time since receiving the bad news. His presence was like a warm, comforting blanket, chasing away the lingering doubts and disappointments.
Every now and then, Suna would drop a kiss on your head or squeeze you gently, as if reminding you that he was there. Despite his usual cool demeanor, in moments like these, his affection was clear and unwavering.
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TOBIO KAGEYAMA
The rain drummed against the windows as you curled up on the couch, feeling like the weight of the world was crushing you. Tears streamed down your face, and you couldn't hold back the sobs any longer. That's when you heard the front door open and close, followed by familiar footsteps.
"I'm home," Kageyama called out, his voice trailing off as he entered the living room and saw you. "Hey... what's wrong?"
You looked up at him, your vision blurry with tears. "Tobio," you managed between sobs. "I... I failed my final exam. I might not graduate on time."
Kageyama's eyes widened slightly, clearly caught off guard. He hesitated for a moment before awkwardly sitting down next to you on the couch. "Oh," he said, his voice uncertain. "That's... that's bad."
You nodded, burying your face in your hands. "I studied so hard," you whispered. "I don't know what went wrong."
Kageyama sat there stiffly for a moment, clearly unsure of what to do. Then, slowly, he reached out and patted your back. "I know baby, I know…um... it'll be okay?" he offered, his tone more of a question than a statement.
Despite your distress, you couldn't help but let out a watery chuckle at his awkward attempt at comfort. "I don't know if it will be, Tobio," you said softly.
Kageyama frowned, his brow furrowing in concentration as if he was trying to solve a particularly difficult volleyball play. Then, seemingly coming to a decision, he shifted closer and wrapped an arm around your shoulders, pulling you against his side.
"Listen," he said, his voice taking on the determined tone he usually reserved for volleyball. "One failed exam doesn't define you. You're... you're smart. And hardworking. Like when you're setting - one bad set doesn't make you a bad setter. You just... try again."
You blinked up at him, surprised by his words. "Tobio..."
"And," he continued, gaining confidence, "if you need to retake the class, then we'll figure it out. I'll... I'll help you study. Or find someone who can. We're a team, right?"
You nodded, feeling a warmth bloom in your chest despite your disappointment. "Right," you whispered.
Kageyama nodded decisively, then awkwardly pulled you closer, resting his chin on top of your head. "Do you... do you want some milk?" he asked after a moment. "Milk always makes me feel better."
You couldn't help but smile through your tears. "No, this is good," you said, snuggling closer to him. "Can we just stay like this for a while?"
"Sure," Kageyama said, his body relaxing slightly. "I can do that."
As you sat there, listening to the rain and Kageyama's steady heartbeat, you felt your distress slowly start to ebb. Kageyama might not be the most eloquent or naturally comforting person, but his earnest efforts and steady presence were exactly what you needed.
"Thank you, Tobio," you murmured.
Kageyama just nodded, his arms tightening around you slightly.​​​​​​​​​​
As the evening wore on, Kageyama's initial awkwardness faded, replaced by a determined sort of tenderness. He gently maneuvered both of you so that you were lying on the couch, with you nestled against his chest. His arms wrapped around you securely, one hand absently stroking your hair.
"Is this okay?" he asked, his voice softer than usual.
You nodded, snuggling closer to him. "It's perfect," you murmured.
Kageyama made a small noise of satisfaction, his body relaxing further. You lay there in comfortable silence for a while, listening to the rain and Kageyama's steady heartbeat. His fingers continued to run through your hair, the gentle motion soothing your frayed nerves.
After a while, Kageyama spoke up again. "Hey," he said, his voice thoughtful. "Remember when I couldn't get that quick to work with Hinata?"
You tilted your head to look up at him, curious. "Yeah, during your first year at Karasuno, right?"
Kageyama nodded. "I thought it was the end of the world," he admitted. "But then I figured it out. And we got even better."
You smiled softly, understanding what he was trying to say. "You're right," you said. "This isn't the end."
"Exactly," Kageyama said, a hint of his usual intensity creeping into his voice. "You'll figure this out too. And I'll be here to help. We can make a study schedule, like a training regimen. I'm good at those."
You couldn't help but laugh softly at his earnestness. "Thank you, Tobio. That actually sounds really helpful."
A small, proud smile tugged at Kageyama's lips. He leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead. "You're smart," he said matter-of-factly. "Smarter than me in a lot of ways. If I can become the best setter in Japan, you can definitely pass this exam."
His unwavering confidence in you brought fresh tears to your eyes, but this time they were tears of gratitude and love. "You're amazing, you know that?" you whispered.
Kageyama's cheeks flushed slightly, but he didn't look away. "Not as amazing as you," he mumbled.
You reached up and cupped his face, pulling him down for a soft kiss. When you pulled apart, Kageyama's eyes were shining with affection.
"Hey," he said suddenly. "Want to watch some volleyball matches? I recorded a few from the V.League. Might take your mind off things for a bit."
You smiled, nodding. "That sounds perfect."
As Kageyama reached for the remote, keeping one arm securely around you, you felt a wave of peace wash over you. The disappointment of your failed exam was still there, but it no longer felt overwhelming. With Kageyama by your side, his love expressed through actions rather than words, you felt like you could face anything.
As the match started playing, Kageyama's excitement became contagious. He pointed out clever plays and impressive serves, his analytical mind breaking down each move. You found yourself getting caught up in his enthusiasm, the stress of the day melting away as you shared this moment with him.
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OIKAWA TOORU
The rain drummed against the windows as you curled up on the couch, feeling like the weight of the world was crushing you. Tears streamed down your face, and you couldn't hold back the sobs any longer. That's when you heard the front door open and close, followed by familiar footsteps.
"I'm home, love!" Oikawa's cheerful voice called out, but it quickly shifted to concern as he entered the living room. "Wait, what's wrong?"
You looked up at him, your vision blurry with tears. "Tooru," you managed between sobs. "I just got a call from home. My grandmother... she's in the hospital. They don't know if she'll make it."
Oikawa's playful demeanor vanished instantly. In a heartbeat, he was by your side, gathering you into his arms. "Oh, sweetheart," he murmured, his voice soft and gentle. "I'm so sorry."
You buried your face in his chest, clinging to his shirt as fresh sobs wracked your body. Oikawa held you tightly, one hand stroking your back while the other cradled your head.
"Shh, it's okay," he soothed, rocking you gently. "I've got you. Let it all out."
For a while, he just held you, murmuring soft words of comfort as you cried. When your sobs finally subsided into quiet sniffles, Oikawa pulled back slightly, cupping your face in his hands.
"Look at me, love," he said softly. You raised your eyes to meet his warm brown gaze. "We're going to get through this together, okay? Whatever happens, I'm right here with you."
You nodded weakly, leaning into his touch. "I'm scared, Tooru," you whispered.
"I know, baby, I know" he said, brushing away your tears with his thumbs. "It's okay to be scared. But remember, your grandmother is strong. She raised you, after all."
Despite your distress, a tiny smile tugged at your lips. Oikawa's own lips quirked up in response.
"There's that beautiful smile," he said, leaning in to press a soft kiss to your forehead. "Now, what can I do to help? Do you want to go visit her? I can book flights right now if you want."
You shook your head. "Not yet. The doctors said to wait until morning for more news."
Oikawa nodded. "Okay, then we'll wait together. How about I run you a warm bath? And then we can cuddle and watch your favorite movie. Or we can just talk. Whatever you need, I'm here."
You felt a rush of gratitude wash over you. "Thank you, Tooru. I don't know what I'd do without you."
Oikawa's expression softened, his eyes filled with love. "You'll never have to find out," he promised. "Now, come on. Let's get you feeling a bit better."
After the warm bath Oikawa had prepared for you, he guided you back to the living room. He had transformed the couch into a cozy nest of blankets and pillows. With gentle hands, he helped you settle in, then slid in beside you, pulling you close against his chest.
"Better?" he asked softly, his breath warm against your ear.
You nodded, snuggling deeper into his embrace. "Much better," you murmured.
Oikawa hummed contentedly, his arms tightening around you. One hand began to gently stroke your hair, his long fingers working through any tangles with practiced ease.
"You know," he said after a while, his voice quiet but warm, "I remember when my grandmother was in the hospital a few years ago. I was so scared, just like you are now."
You tilted your head to look up at him. "What happened?"
A small smile played on Oikawa's lips. "She got better. And do you know what she said to me when I visited her? She said, 'Tooru, my boy, it takes more than this to keep an Oikawa down.'"
Despite your worry, you couldn't help but chuckle softly. "She sounds amazing."
"She is," Oikawa agreed. "Just like your grandmother. They're cut from the same cloth, those tough old ladies."
He pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead. "Your grandmother has that same strength. And she has you to come back to. That's more than enough reason for her to fight."
Tears welled up in your eyes again, but this time they were mixed with hope. "Thank you, Tooru," you whispered.
"Always, my love," he replied, brushing away your tears with his thumb. "Now, how about we watch that alien documentary I've been trying to get you to see? I promise it'll take your mind off things."
You couldn't help but smile at his enthusiasm. "Okay," you agreed. "But only if you keep holding me like this."
"As if I'd ever let you go," Oikawa said, reaching for the remote while keeping one arm securely around you.
As the documentary started playing, Oikawa's excitement became infectious. He whispered commentary in your ear, his theories growing more and more outlandish as the show went on. You found yourself laughing despite your earlier distress, caught up in Oikawa's boundless enthusiasm.
Every so often, he'd pause his commentary to drop a kiss on your head or squeeze you gently, as if reminding you that he was there, that you weren't alone in this.
As the night wore on and your eyelids grew heavy, Oikawa adjusted your positions so you were lying down, your head pillowed on his chest. His heartbeat was a steady, comforting rhythm beneath your ear.
"Sleep, love," he murmured, his fingers tracing soothing patterns on your back. "I'll be right here. And first thing in the morning, we'll call the hospital for news, okay?"
You nodded sleepily, feeling safe and loved in Oikawa's arms. "Thank you, Tooru," you whispered. "I love you."
"I love you too," he replied softly. "More than all the stars in the universe."
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KORAI HOSHIUMI
The rain drummed against the windows as you curled up on the couch, feeling like the weight of the world was crushing you. Tears streamed down your face, and you couldn't hold back the sobs any longer. That's when you heard the front door burst open, followed by energetic footsteps.
"I'm home!" Hoshiumi's loud voice rang out, but it quickly shifted to concern as he bounded into the living room. "Hey! What's wrong? Why are you crying?"
You looked up at him, your vision blurry with tears. "Korai," you managed between sobs. "I just lost my job. The company... they're downsizing and I... I was let go."
Hoshiumi's eyes widened, his usual boundless energy momentarily stunned into stillness. Then, in a flash, he was by your side, his small but strong arms wrapping around you.
"What?! That's terrible!" he exclaimed, his voice a mix of outrage and concern. "How dare they! Don't they know how amazing you are?"
You buried your face in his shoulder, fresh sobs wracking your body. Hoshiumi held you tightly, one hand patting your back with perhaps a bit more force than necessary, but the gesture was comforting nonetheless.
"Hey, hey, it's okay, I know baby, I know" he said, his voice softer but still intense. "We're going to get through this. You're strong, just like me! This is just a setback, not the end!"
For a while, he just held you, occasionally interjecting with words of encouragement and promises of retribution against your former employers. When your sobs finally subsided into quiet sniffles, Hoshiumi pulled back, his hands on your shoulders as he looked you in the eye.
"Listen to me," he said, his gaze fierce and determined. "You're incredible. Those idiots don't know what they're losing. But you know what? This just means you're free to find something even better!"
You blinked at him, caught off guard by his unwavering confidence. "But Korai, what if I can't find another job?"
Hoshiumi scoffed, puffing out his chest. "Of course you will! You're dating the Little Giant, aren't you? We don't give up! We rise above every challenge!"
Despite your distress, a small smile tugged at your lips. Hoshiumi's enthusiasm was, as always, contagious.
"There's that smile!" he grinned, reaching up to wipe away your tears. "Now, here's what we're going to do. First, we're going to eat some ice cream because that always makes me feel better. Then, we're going to make a plan. I'll help you update your resume, and it'll be so amazing that companies will be fighting to hire you!"
You felt a wave of affection wash over you. "Thank you, Korai. I don't know what I'd do without you."
Hoshiumi's expression softened, his eyes filled with determination and love. "You'll never have to find out," he promised. "We're a team, and together, we're unstoppable!"
After devouring a pint of ice cream together, Hoshiumi led you back to the couch. Despite his small stature, he maneuvered you both so that you were lying down, with you nestled securely in his arms. His body radiated warmth and energy, even in stillness.
"Comfortable?" he asked, his voice uncharacteristically soft.
You nodded, snuggling closer to him. "Very," you murmured.
Hoshiumi made a satisfied noise, his arms tightening around you. One hand began to gently stroke your back, his touch soothing and reassuring.
"You know," he said, his voice full of conviction, "you're the most amazing person I know. And I know some pretty amazing people!"
You couldn't help but chuckle softly at his enthusiasm. Hoshiumi took this as encouragement and continued, punctuating his words with soft kisses.
"You're smart," he said, pressing a kiss to your forehead. "Way smarter than those idiots who let you go."
Another kiss, this time on your cheek. "You're kind. Remember how you helped that lost kid at the mall last week?"
A gentle peck on your nose. "You're hardworking. I've seen how dedicated you are."
Finally, a tender kiss on your lips. "And you're beautiful, inside and out."
Tears welled up in your eyes again, but this time they were tears of gratitude and love. "Korai..." you whispered, touched by his words.
"I'm not finished!" Hoshiumi declared, his eyes shining with determination. "You're also brave, and creative, and funny. Any company would be lucky to have you!"
He cupped your face in his hands, his gaze intense. "And most importantly, you're resilient. Just like me! We don't let setbacks keep us down. We use them as stepping stones to reach even greater heights!"
You couldn't help but smile at his passion. "Thank you, Korai. I feel so much better already."
Hoshiumi beamed, clearly pleased with himself. "Good! Because we're just getting started. Tomorrow, we're going to make the best resume ever. It'll be so amazing, it'll make my vertical jump look ordinary in comparison!"
You laughed outright at that, the sound mixing with Hoshiumi's own joyful laughter. As your giggles subsided, Hoshiumi pulled you close again, nuzzling your hair.
"I love you," he said softly. "And I believe in you. Never forget that."
"I love you too," you replied, feeling truly comforted for the first time since receiving the bad news. "Thank you for always being in my corner."
"Always!" Hoshiumi declared. "That's what the Little Giant does. I'll always lift you up, no matter how high we need to go!"
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Ⓡ kiesbrainjuice all rights reserved. please to not plagiarize, repost, or translate !
tag : @haechansbbg
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sukirichi · 6 months ago
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[ DUSK ‘TILL DAWN : 012 ]
“we who bear the burden of the crown do not need to love. you only need to stay here, with me, in power, in greed, in lust – in victory.”
cw. 18+.modern royal au. infidelity. minimal angst. reader is confused with her feelings. toxic characters. toxic relationships. explicit smut. unedited. implied dub-con. smoking. physical violence. sex tapes. reader has a gun and almost uses it.
notes. i wanted the kiyoomi and suna girlies (/gn) to win so here it is! feedbacks / reblogs/ comments are appreciated <3
wc. 12.9k
series masterlist 
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[ TWELVE ] for you, i would cross the line. i would waste my time, i would lose my mind. they say “she’s gone too far this time.”
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You prided yourself in being logical.
There was little to no room for measly emotions when it came to royal affairs. Granted, you had no proper training, but you were raised as a noble, and the rules were clear. Set aside your emotions, always look towards the most plausible solution, and cry about it later – where no one could see. Those were your mother’s words. You held onto them for as long as you remembered, with the exception of making only one grand mistake: proceeding with the marriage after catching your fiancé cheating on you.
But now? Now, you were about to make your next worst decision – letting Kiyoomi walk away.
It wasn’t love, of course. It couldn’t be. The odds simply weren’t in your favor, but couldn’t a Princess hope? You met him first, had him as your last dance on your debut ball. He was the first Prince who ever held your hand, the first Prince to dance with you, and the first – possibly last – who reminded what love could feel like. What love should feel like. It was explosive and angry like fire licking up at your skin, begging, pleading at you to chase after him. Every nerve in your body protested as you watched him take one more step away from you. It’s a mistake, one I’ll regret – Don’t let him go. It screamed at you, its cries desperate to be heard. You didn’t want to be here in the Palace. You didn’t want to return to your shared quarters with Rintaro.
You wanted to go back to Itachiyama – his farmhouse, the castle ruins, riding aimlessly with Astra and Lucy, picking fruits from his garden, and spending hours in his library. You hadn’t even held your end of the promise yet to learn everything about him.
What did Kiyoomi love? What did he look like in his slumber? Does he talk in sleep? Does he steal the blankets? What about his favorite song?
You moved before you could think.
Closing the distance in hurried strides, you grasped the Prince’s elbow. He stiffened under your touch, his eyes unreadable through the dimly-lit hallways. “Your Highness. Wait,” you panted, “Listen… back at Itachiyama–”
“Do you want me?”
Your grip on him faltered. Briefly, you took a step back, but the Prince was having none of it. He easily closed whatever distance you attempted to put between you two, his face hard and eyes burning with passion. With yearning. You never thought a man could look so determined yet hopeless as he did, the picture-perfect image of ardor. His brows pinched together, his lower lip trembling as he sighed. “Do you want me?”
You shook your head.
If only it could be as simple as that.
“It’s wrong, my Prince. We couldn’t… We wouldn’t work out. I only meant to say that I do adore you, and I do not want whatever complicated feelings we have to ruin our friendship,” Lies. Every word uttered from your lips were nothing but measly lies. Kiyoomi could tell too – the hesitation written all over your face said otherwise. “I hope you understand. You and I – we’re impossible.”
You couldn’t tell which one you needed more: for him to deny your worries, or for him to agree that you were right. You figured both would be just as painful.
Kiyoomi’s nostrils flared as you looked away from him, feet shuffling in the other direction already. “Stop. Do not take another step. Don’t you dare,” with a low growl, you were suddenly pulled back against his warm chest. You gasped at the hardness of his body, the warmth of his skin, the tenderness of his touch. His lips were everywhere but the one place you needed it to be – lingering at the curve of your neck, his breaths fanning over your exposed collarbones. It was like he had set you on fire with one touch alone, his firm grip around your waist both eerily intimidating and lustrous. And he must’ve laughed – you weren’t sure anymore. All you knew was that you were completely under Kiyoomi’s mercy, and quite frankly, he could have his way with you as he pleased.
“If you do not choose me…” murmuring, your breath hitched as his lips briefly grazed your skin, making your pulse jump. “You will regret it. You will be unhappy with him.”
I’m already unhappy with him, you wanted to say, but the words died in your mouth.
You’d lost all forms of coherence under Kiyoomi’s spell. Especially in this compromising position, this scandalous way his hand now slowly trailed its way from your abdomen and up to the swells on your chest – Gods, what would any witnesses say? This wasn’t how a Prince held a woman that wasn’t his.
“Your Highness,” you tried to fighting from his grasp, only to fall momentarily back against him when finally, finally, his lips were now leaving marks on your neck. It took all of your willpower to not give in right there, to not sink your fingers in his delicious curls. You had to say no. “I-I think we’ve both had a long night. We should retire to our quarters.”
“I will allow it if it’s my quarters you’ll be sharing.”
Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck – your gaze darted around the empty hallway, paranoid.
The lights had been dimmed hours ago, the staff retiring to their rooms, but it was so quiet your breathy moans could echo. Anyone could walk in and see you like this, pleading but not quite begging for the Prince to not stop holding you.
And it was wrong, so deliciously wrong.
“Please,” you closed your eyes, unable to stop yourself from craning your neck to give him access. Above you, Kiyoomi chuckled, the rumbling of his chest deliciously low.
“You should stop lying to yourself, Princess. You do not want him. Whatever attachment you still have for my brother, it is nothing but a pitiful excuse of familiarity. You keep him around because there is no other choice, but you cannot keep lying to yourself. You cannot keep lying to me that you do not feel as I do when I see the way you look at me,” grasping your chin with his much larger hand, Kiyoomi forced you to look into his eyes. Pools of inky depths stared back at you with part frustration, part lust – his skin already flushed with sweat. You couldn’t look away even if the world ended. There was only you and Kiyoomi, with his hand resting on top of your breasts and gently caressing, so light you might’ve thought he wasn’t there.
And you, breathless and reckless, clung to him like he was your last lifeline.
Kiyoomi dipped down. His nose brushed against yours, your breaths mingled before he breathed you in greedily. “I was never a man who had many desires, but you are the greatest of them all. You run through my mind even in my sleep, and you are the first thing I search for when I wake. So do not tell me you do not want me when I know it’s my name you cry out in your sleep.”
Your knees felt impossibly weak.
“What do you want me to do? I’m married. You’re married. Are you forgetting divorce is impossible?” you snapped back, shoving him until his back hit the wall. The painting above him clattered, yet the Prince seemed uncaring, his arms crossed against his chest as you breathed hard. This was preposterous – this could not go any longer. “This would never work. The people would never understand.”
“I do not care what they think.”
“I care what they think! My husband is already cheating on me, and his own people detest him for it. What more if they find out I have taken you as my lover?”
“Then tell me to go,” he whispered, tilting his head back as he stared at you almost defiantly, mockingly. Like he knew you wouldn’t have the courage to actually say it. “Tell me, and I will walk away.”
When Kiyoomi is met with silence, he scoffed. A smirk graced his handsome face before he’s grabbing you by the arm and twisting you, the positions reversed until your back hit the wall. There’s a slight ache pounding at the back of your head, but nothing – absolutely nothing – could tear your attention away from his lips crashing into yours. The kiss is nothing short of avidity. Kiyoomi devoured you like a man starved, molding the shape of his lips into yours while his large hand encompassed the entirety of your face. Thumbs running over your cheek, his imposing frame completely dominated you. Your bodies were now pressed into each other that it became difficult to tell where you began and the Prince ended.
All you knew was Kiyoomi kissed you like he spent most of his nights dreaming about it, sighing and groaning all at once before his tongue fought for dominance.
Pushing his tongue inside your willing lips, he tasted all of you. He spoke the words he struggled to say, the firm grasp on your hip keeping you in place beneath him a clear sign he didn’t want you anywhere but here. But you weren’t leaving. You’d be a fool to walk away now that you finally had a taste of him, and it wasn’t enough. It would never be enough.
You wanted more, needed more.
Kissing him back harder, your palms flattened on his chest before you balled his shirt into your fists, uncaring if he’d walk back home flustered and wild. You simply needed him there; you wanted to breathe him in, to have nothing but him as your entire world.
“Stay,” you pleaded in between kisses, letting the Prince maneuver you until your bum landed flat on a table. Uncaring, the Prince swept aside all knick-knacks placed above it when his lips found yours again. And oh, a greedy man he was. Even after kissing you until you were breathless, he still hadn’t had his fill. His tongue danced with yours in this gentle melody only you two could sing, your bodies moving in sync like a choreographed dance. Your hand would wound up to tangle itself in his dark locks, his hands would scramble to undo his breeches, and willingly – wantonly – you would welcome him with all your being. It’s a dance between lovers, a forbidden tune you sang wholeheartedly, accompanied by your high-pitched moans once the Prince had himself buried in you – “Oh. Oh.”
“Who makes you feel good?”
“You, my Prince, it’s you,”
Biting down on your lip to muffle the noises you made, you heard the crescendo of the music. Rising and rising with overwhelming intensity at each note hit, each perfect thrust and drive into you. He hadn’t felt like anyone else. He was thicker and spread you open, impaled on his stiffness while you sat there helplessly to take it all. You felt empowered and weak at the same time, with your legs locking behind his chest as tears rolled down your face from the pleasure of it all, but Kiyoomi showed no signs of stopping.
Heavens, he might not even stop tonight, not when you sucked him in tight and made his breath stutter, his thrusts staggered.
“Kiyoomi,” you cried out, unable to keep quiet any longer. He simply held you carefully, a great contrast to his hips pistoning in and out of you – no, he held you like you were a porcelain doll he feared would break, someone he had to protect and cherish. And his eyes – droopy yet adoring – gazed upon you like you were worth more than any crown. “Oh, you are so…”
His forehead landed on top of yours, his lips minutely brushing against yours for a quick kiss. It’s rushed, frantic, yet intimate in ways you’d never experienced before. For once, sharing bodies with someone didn’t feel like just like sex.
For once, you finally made love with someone.
“Choose me, Princess,” he gritted his teeth, “It was always meant to be me.”
You awoke with a gasp.
Sitting up, your heart pounded in your chest, your skin clammy and drenched with sweat. A scan of your surroundings told you that you were in your room, the empty side of your bed a sign Rintaro kept to his word and left you alone. Closing your eyes, your head dropped down to your palms.
So it had been a dream, after all.
You really allowed Kiyoomi to walk away from you. And one mistake leading into another, you let Rintaro do the same.
Regret churned at your stomach. You could see it perfectly now – the drooping of the Prince’s shoulders, his gaze cast downwards when you bid him farewell. There were still traces of the happiness you felt in Itachiyama lingering on him just as he finally left, ones you were compelled to reach out to before it was too late. But it couldn’t be – you refused to give into your desires when it meant committing a sin. Rintaro didn’t deserve your loyalty, but he was still your husband, and you wouldn’t be able to sleep at night knowing you’d been exactly like him.
In fact, you might be becoming like him with each passing day, and although you would never say it out loud, you understood him better now.
To find someone who could’ve been yours, someone who would’ve made you so happy against all odds, and to not have them at all – it felt like a cruel joke was being played by the Universe.
Is this what Rintaro felt like? Did he feel as if the world was being unusually cruel to him? Did he wonder what he could’ve done to deserve all this? Because those thoughts ran into your head long enough that you gave up on sleep, and rolled out of bed with a heavy heart and – shamefully – aching with need. Snatching your robe from the closet, you tiptoed out of the room. Rintaro was fast asleep in the sofa, his arm shielding his eyes from the lit candles. When he didn’t budge from his spot at you poking around him, you let out a sigh of relief and left the room. Clicking the door shut, you spun around, coming face to face with a wide eyed maid.
“Heavens!” you placed a hand on your chest, and then chuckled as the maid stepped back and bowed. “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know anyone would still be around.”
The maid frantically shook her head. She scratched the back of her head as her gaze darted around, seemingly determined to not look you in the eye. “No, Your Highness, it was my fault for startling you. I was reassigned to you just now, you see, and… Uhm, I��m Airi. Prince Shinsuke sent me here.”
Airi… You’d heard that name before.
“Oh! Airi. Yes, of course, I remember you,” you nodded, tying the robe around your waist tighter. “Why are you up this late?” At your question, Airi’s cheeks flushed a deep red before turning away.  You smiled to yourself, chuckling under your breath as you gently squeezed her arm. “I understand. You needn’t say anymore.”
“Thank you, Your Highness.”
“Would you like to accompany me for a walk?” you gestured to the empty hall. Airi nodded, a little too enthusiastic in picking up her skirts. You figured neither of you wanted to stay here any longer where anyone could easily see you.
Turning to the other direction, you headed for the gardens at the outer wing. It was the closest to your shared room with Rintaro, and coincidentally, an infamous shortcut to Belleview’s surrounding gardens. There had been rumors that Belleview was added in the palace grounds as an afterthought years ago – how a sudden need arose to have a separate place for a married couple. It was bizarre, in your opinion, how this long, seemingly endless path would certainly end up right at Kiyoomi’s doorstep if you were patient enough to brave the half hour walk.
Could you?
Would you?
Absentmindedly, you gnawed at your nails. Your Mother would chastise you for the unladylike gesture if she were here, but it was only you and Airi. She wasn’t going to judge, although you didn’t miss the way she glanced at you so often. Curiosity, maybe, but a question imposed her eyes. Deciding to break the silence, you smiled at the dark-haired maid.
“You’re very pretty. I can see why the Prince fell for you.”
Airi stuttered in her steps. “Oh! Thank you, you’re too kind for that, but I doubt it’s because of the way I look. The Prince and I have known each other since we were kids, that’s all. My mother was a maid too before she died. She was the one who helped raise His Highness,” she babbled, grimacing when she realized your patient smile held little to conceal your amusement. “Uhm… If I may be so bold, my Princess, I think you look rather great for someone who has been cheated on.”
Your brows rose. That you hadn’t expected.
“I do?”
“Yes. You look unbothered by it, or at least, you seem to be doing a great job at it,” she offered a polite smile, “Being a royal must come naturally to you as a noblewoman.”
Unable to help it, you chuckled. Oh, how wrong she was.
“Not at all. I haven’t always been this way,” you told her, watching as your surroundings changed from the marble pillars and into the night sky, where the fresh, cold breeze bit at your skin. You were thankful for it – the cold atmosphere was a great contrast to the blooming, colorful flowers.
It somehow reminded you of Kiyoomi’s gardens, and how you probably wouldn’t see it anymore.
The smile on your face disappeared. The ring on your finger grew heavier, and unbeknownst to you, you started spinning it with your thumb. It was curious, truly, how a week was all it took before you completely lost yourself. You couldn’t remember who you were even like before Itachiyama, before Kiyoomi. Or could it be that the past you had never been fulfilled to begin with? What if you were merely a work in progress, and the you in this moment was the real one?
If that was true, then that could only mean two things you would never want to admit out loud.
One: that you weren’t as in love with your husband as you thought if you couldn’t get Kiyoomi out of your mind, or Two: that the traditional saying and belief was right – your last dance would be your fated lover.
And it would make sense, too. Of course, you were happy with Rintaro. Were. You fell in love with him simply because there was no other appropriate reaction. He was the Crown Prince, a man who called on you every single day and learned about your passions until night came. He charmed your parents, loved them as his own, and proudly presented you to his regal family. It was the kind of love little girls were taught to dream about. The kind of love everyone wanted. You couldn’t blame yourself for craving the Prince’s touch, for giving him all your firsts. It seemed only the right thing to do. He courted you, committed to you, loved you as much as he could – it was logical and methodical.
It was one plus one equals two.
But Kiyoomi? It didn’t feel natural, or a step by step process.
It felt all kinds of wrong because you shouldn’t, and all kinds of right because it’s him. It’s the way he smiles at you when he thinks you’re not looking, or how his head is always turned in the other direction to act like he isn’t listening. He isn’t like Rintaro who never takes his gaze off of you – not because he can’t get enough of your beauty, but because he was watching. Rintaro was always watching, analyzing everything you did, crafting his actions and words perfectly to elicit the response he wanted from you.
His brother was the exact opposite.
Kiyoomi always stayed at the walls and blended in with the background. He never attracted any attention to himself, but would devote his entire focus on you simply because he’s entranced. Or you hoped he might. Surely it couldn’t be one-sided.
You felt it too – the frustration ebbing off of him each time you slipped away. You saw with your own eyes the way his face fell when news of your husband’s affair spread.
He didn’t hate his brother for sleeping with his mistress behind your back. He hated Rintaro for ruining a night that should’ve been yours. A night where his touch could linger on yours for a moment longer as you smiled for the cameras. A night where it’d be appropriate for him to look at you like you’re the star of the show – it’s camaraderie, you’d play off – and a night where he might’ve drove you back at the farmhouse and slowly, tenderly, begin with tugging your gloves off before he moved on to your dress.
Gods. You exhaled. You shouldn’t be doing this.
You shouldn’t be thinking about Kiyoomi, his plump lips that looked inviting, his dark eyes hungrily roaming over you and hoping, praying, that it’d been him instead. These were all wrong – so why were you walking towards Belleview?
“Your Highness?”
Airi’s voice snapped you out of your trance. Blinking, you smiled back at her in apology and continued. “Sorry, I must have been lost in my thoughts. As I was saying, though, I spent most of my life hiding behind my parents’ shadows because I struggled talking to people. And then the Crown Prince came and swept me off my feet, which changed everything. When he came into my life, I figured I had to become someone worthy enough to stay by his side, someone he could be proud to be with. It took a lot of years and effort before I could be confident enough to say I was good enough for him,” you mumbled, stopping in your tracks to look up into the dark horizon before you.
Huh. Why hadn’t you realized that before?
You’d been trying so hard to impress Rintaro all along. Isn’t that why you were so frustrated? You’d spent years molding yourself to become who he wanted, only to be slapped in the face that it was impossible because you could never be her.
You let out a dry laugh. “But apparently not. He already had someone else.”
“I’m really sorry you were dragged into this. From the stories Prince Shinsuke tells me, you’re a kind woman who deserved better.”
“I don’t know about that,” you said, “Would you believe me if I said I wasn’t mad upon reading the tabloids about his affair? If anything, I was just furious he couldn’t stay out of trouble and ruined my trip to Itachiyama.”
“Did you like it there?”
“I loved it. I wanted to stay.”
Admitting it out loud felt… liberating. You were beginning to feel more like yourself, even if it meant being less of a Princess and more of this unorthodox woman who simply wanted to be. It must be the side effect of spending time with Kiyoomi. You would soon care less about the rules imposed on you, and unapologetically be yourself.
“But the world sure has a cruel way of bringing you back to reality.”
“Your Highness?”
Both yours and Airi’s head snapped at the sound. Amongst the rustling of the bushes, a tall figure suddenly appeared – all mighty and regal even in his creased blouse and loosely tied breeches. His hair, dark and tousled like he’d run his fingers through it, did little to hide the surprise on his face.
“My Prince,” you breathed out, “What are you doing out here so late?”
“I couldn’t sleep. And you?”
You fought back a smile at his raspy voice. You could almost picture it – Kiyoomi tossing and turning all night in a bed separate from Iris. The sanguine voice in your head fibbed, too, wondering if the Prince thought about you as well. “It’s a restless night,” was all you let on, and gestured to the shock-still maid beside you. “Airi, do you mind giving us some privacy?”
Vehemently, she shook her head. “Not at all, Princess. Please, call for me if you need anything. I won’t be far.”
You waited as Airi disappeared from sight before you stepped closer to the Prince, compelled by an invisible force to be closer to him. “Kiyoomi–”
“Are you well?”
“Me? Why do you ask?”
He tipped his head to the side, causing a lone curl to fall in front of his eye. You fought back the urge to brush it away, beguiled by his long fingers sweeping it away “You’re in a very difficult position right now, whatnot with the article spreading,” he gestured back to the castle, “Has he spoken to you?”
You shook your head. “He’s kept to himself the past few days. I think this is a lot harder on him than it looks. As for me, well… I’ve had better days.”
True to your word, Rintaro almost secluded himself from the world. He shut off his phone, chucked it at another corner of the room, and never touched it again. It was painful seeing your husband that way when you know of his hobby of endless scrolling. But now, he couldn’t stomach the social media wishing him ill, seeing so blatantly with his own eyes his people’s deference to him. It hurt – more so for him than you – but still, a small part of you wished he’d say something. You were there, were you not?
You cut off your trip short because your husband needed you, and he barely uttered a word since you arrived. It got at your nerves. Nevertheless, you’d give him the time he needed. You planned to keep to your word that you would fix this all for him, regardless of what that might take.
You weren’t so cruel to let your husband be dragged into the pits of hell. Because quite frankly, that wasn’t the media’s right to begin with. If anyone would unleash hell upon Rintaro and Iris, it had to be you.
Kiyoomi scanned your face. “You don’t seem upset about all of this.”
You shrugged. “Their secret would’ve gone out one way or another. It was only a matter of time. Besides, I have far, bigger things to worry about, like you,” you leveled your gaze with his, watching as the Prince sucked in a breath.
Your last conversation with him the past night still played in your mind. It ate away at you to have to say goodbye when you didn’t want to, but he was here now. You woldn’t waste the opportunity to make things right.
Steeling yourself, you shut your eyes tight to gather courage. “Kiyoomi… Your Highness. I… I do not wish to stop talking to you. I know I sound absurd because I haven’t known you that long, but everything we shared in Itachiyama, I cherish it. I won’t forget a single memory I shared with you. So please allow me to take back what I said. I didn’t mean it when I said I would stop talking to you.”
“You should, though.” Opening your eyes, your heart dropped into your stomach when the Prince took a step back. “I don’t think we can be friends, Princess.”
Your hands grew cold and clammy.
“W-Why not? Have I done something to offend you? Tell me, and I will correct it–”
“We cannot be friends because I do not wish to be just your friend.”
Whatever distance he created between you disappeared. In the blink of an eye, Kiyoomi had closed the gap in one smooth stride, leaning down close enough his nose nearly brushed yours.
You inhaled sharply at the proximity. Kiyoomi’s heat blanketed you, making you realize you’d been shivering from the cold prior to his arrival. Now, he was here, and your senses were filled to the brim with him – his scent, his warmth, his frame looming over yours making you feel protected instead of small. You couldn’t help it; your fingers twitched to pull him by his collar and finally have his lips pressed to yours. It’d been eating away at you for several nights.
A peck couldn’t hurt.
But you made no move, greedily sharing in the same breaths instead. Because if it was all you could have, then it was all you could get.
“You’re right. It does sound absurd. We have barely spoken to one another, yet I’m already tired  of this stupid game my brother is playing – his foolish plans to become King, make my wife his concubine, all with the intention of keeping you around like a pet. It makes my blood boil,” Kiyoomi grinned, though it was more sinister than genuine. “He cannot have everything for himself. I will not let him.”
“My Prince. I–”
“–Don’t get me wrong. I’m not in love with you, nor do I have any intentions of stooping down to Rintaro’s level and stealing what isn’t mine,” cruel, you think, as the Prince effectively cut you off with a brush of his thumb to your lips. You were now putty at his hands; melting and knees weakened with nothing but his touch holding you up. “But I am tired of seeing you this distraught over a man who cannot see your worth. I have had enough. So whatever plans you may have to retaliate, tell me, and I will gladly be a pawn in your game. Make your move. You may command me as you please.”
It took a moment before his words dawned on you. When it did, your palms flattened on his chest, absorbing its warmth and feeling the flutter of his heart underneath your fingertips. He felt so alive, whole, and well – you couldn’t possibly drag him into your mess.
“I could never use you like that. You know this.”
“So you do have a plan in mind,” he noted with a smirk, fingers crawling up to circle your wrist. “My brother really underestimated you, hasn’t he? You’re already proving to be far more dangerous than any sword.”
You flushed warm at his compliment. Pretty, yes, Rintaro has called you that multiple times. Beautiful, gorgeous, even, but dangerous? It made you feel powerful, like the crown was already on your head, and the kingdom was all yours for the taking. But greed often started out as a small flicker of fire, and you stomped on it as quickly as it breathed into life. You were no thrill seeker – you would not dabble or tread in dangerous, unknown, forbidden paths. Such paths like Kiyoomi, but it was there. The temptation. The calling to just reach out to the hand he’s offered.
Its voice beckoned you. Come, it whispered oh-so-sweetly at your ear, he is your puppet.
You bit the inside of your cheek in contemplation. “It isn’t a good plan at all, and the Queen has summoned us – all of us – to inform us of her decisions on how we will proceed with this scandal. There’s a good chance Her Majesty might get in the way, but I’m determined. I need this plan to work.”
“What are you thinking about?”
“I plan on turning the tables around and pinning it on Iris. I know it’s dangerous – she’s your wife, and you might get caught in the crossfire–”
“Do as you please.”
“Are you serious?”
Kiyoomi nodded with resolve. “When I said I do not wish to be just your friend, I meant it. I want you to use me. I want to be your weapon,” nudging his nose with yours, he brought up your hand to his lips, kissing the glimmering diamond on your ring. A kiss of rebellion, a war cry, or a silent plea to be dominated – it said everything and too little all at once. “If there is anything I can do to help you escape this royal hell, I will do it.”
You closed your fist around his lips, and basked in the ghostly flutters it will leave upon your skin hours after he has gone. Then, you questioned it all: how could something so poignant evoke a raging will within you?
“It will be hard for you, Your Highness,” you warned him, “My plan is not a kind one.”
“I do not have very kind thoughts myself,” he chuckled, the sound dark and ominous. “But you should be careful, Princess. Iris is not who you think she is. If you are to proceed with your plan, you need to watch out for yourself, and Maiko especially.”
Maiko? What could Maiko’s involvement with Iris be?
“She won’t hurt Maiko, will she?”
“She wouldn’t dare, but I can’t guarantee she won’t try doing something to you,” with a wary gaze, Kiyoomi immediately masked it with that of indifference. Scanning the surroundings, and hearing nothing but the crickets of insects and the rustling of bushes from the wind, Kiyoomi wrapped a protective arm around your waist. “It’s getting late. Let me walk you back. Iris is probably somewhere close.”
You were never one to feel much fear, but in that moment, a sense of numbing chill settled in your bones. Goosebumps arose on your skin. It was almost like you could feel it – her sharp gaze, her wicked and deceivingly innocent smile. You shivered despite yourself and huddled closer to the Prince, letting him guide you through the garden’s maze when his lips brushed the shell of your ear.
“Do you wish to know what would make Iris tick?”
“What?”
“It may be Rintaro who she wants,” his breathy voice caressed you, sending a different set of shivers down your spine. “But it is I whom she would kill to keep. Present yourself as a threat, make her believe you can steal me from her, and you will find her willingly offering Rintaro to you.”
You scoffed. “And if I don’t want him?”
“Then you shall always have me.”
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Kiyoomi, Kiyoomi, Kiyoomi…
The Prince’s last words haunted you. Moreover, the way he looked with the moonlight illuminated upon him… he felt surreal. He came to you in your dreams more than once, caressing you in places he shouldn’t be touching, filling you in ways you never thought possible. A part of you wondered if it was merely your brain coping with the fact you’d mistakenly lain in bed with Rintaro. How you’ve felt disgusted with yourself ever since, and found it hard to look in the mirror. Perhaps it was simply a trick of the brain – replacing the man who left marks on you with the man that could’ve made you feel better. And you knew Prince Kiyoomi would – with those large, calloused hands, and luscious lips you spent countless hours gazing upon… would it be such a sin to wish they hadn’t been dreams only?
Picking up the nearby body wash, you scrubbed yourself clean of Rintaro. Your body still ached from last night’s events, but your heart clenched for an entirely different reason. Seriously. You couldn’t believe it. First, he’d let himself get caught in the action, and you let him sleep with you? You could’ve pushed him away. You could’ve said no.
It didn’t have to lead to whatever happened last night.
But then again, laughing to yourself, why did you chastise yourself so much? He was your husband. You were both married – sleeping with him wasn’t a mistake. Yet why did it feel like it? It felt as if… you kept on letting him take and take from you. How long until you’ve had enough? How much more could you give before there was nothing left of you?
You sighed, sinking deeper under the water. It’d been hours since your previous encounter with the older prince, and he hadn’t left your mind since. His offer for you to make use of him like he was a weapon, or worse, a tool, wasn’t an opportunity you could let pass by.
You could make use of him. He had more access to Iris than you ever could, and planting spies in Belleview Manor sounded terrible. She’d probably won over their loyalty judging by the way they kept their mouths shut that first night you arrived there to give her tea for her ‘headache.’ She had secrets, that you were sure of, but did Kiyoomi know them too? What was her connection with Maiko? Surely… Maiko wasn’t involved in whatever schemes they had in mind. The Princess was too sweet and innocent for that, but then again, so was Iris. The so called ‘dear friend’ of your boyfriend before he’d asked for your hand in marriage.
This was proving to be nearly impossible.
It was hard to tell who to trust within the Palace. Kita would be at your side, but you couldn’t possibly involve him in your plan. He might not even approve of it. It would be against the law, and it wasn’t the kindest thing one could think of. Kita would call it ‘the opposite of justice.’
“I hope the meeting went well, Princess?”
Popping your head from the water, you watched as Airi entered the room, folded towels in her arms. She’d prepared a bath for you long before you arrived, the water warm and filled with bubbles – just how you liked it. The room smelled faintly of roses, too, and you made a mental note to thank Airi for her efforts.
“It was great. His Highness and I discussed a lot,” he almost kissed me, too, but she didn’t need to know that, or the fact you wished he did. “Oh, and Airi.”
“Yes, ma’am?”
You pondered over it, you really did it. It was out of your character to abuse the power you had, yet you couldn’t stop the heat flaring in your veins. The pettiness that begged to be revealed. “Could you have someone call L’Essenxe Royale? Tell them I want them to discontinue their Vanilla Candy line because I’m allergic to it, and it would be a shame if I had to stop purchasing their perfumes.”
“Yes, ma’am,” Airi nodded, stopping in her tracks after a beat. “I wasn’t informed you were allergic to vanilla. I’m sorry, I’ll do better in catering to your needs more.”
“I’m not allergic. I just don’t want to smell Iris ever again.”
Just before Airi could respond, the doors swung open. Suna sauntered in like he owned the place, the top three buttons of his white shirt undone and loose. His collarbones and the top of his chest shone with sweat, his skin flushed and his dark hair messily swept to the sides. He must’ve gone for his early training – and damned him for looking good.
You snorted inwardly. But Prince Kiyoomi probably looked better.
“There you are. I didn’t get to see you before I left.”
“Airi, please give us a moment,” you requested from where you sat, arms lazily resting on the sides of the tub. Airi scurried out of the room with reddened cheeks – no doubt picturing what events could transpire between a naked wife and her insatiable husband. And speaking of said husband, he’d leant against the pristine white walls, arms crossed against his chest as he let those dark, hooded eyes roam over your exposed skin.
“To what do I owe this pleasure?”
“I think the real pleasure here is this view.”
You rolled your eyes. “Is that what you told your mistress too when you fucked her in my bed?”
Suna paused. It was a bait; he was sure of it. Choosing not to bite at your provocation, he pushed his weight off the wall and gestured to the doors. “You redecorated the room,” he announced, “Without my permission.”
“I wasn’t aware I needed your permission. I thought we made it clear – under your suggestion – that I was to sleep in that bed, and you take the couch outside. Technically, that would make it my room, no?”
“You made Airi burn the sheets.”
“Sue me.”
“You threw away Iris’ clothes.”
“They barely counted as clothes, Your Highness. They were just thongs.”
“If this is about last night–”
“Last night was a mistake. Never speak of it again,” you warned, and just the mere reminder that you’d let him have his way with you, and you were too weak to refuse, again, no longer made the relaxing bath enjoyable. All of Airi’s efforts poured down the drain because having Suna around had your muscles stiffening with tension again. Rising from the bath, you wiped off the bubbles and suds off your body before stepping out. “What did you truly come here for? You never bother me when I’m bathing.”
Suna’s hungry gaze followed your every movement. The perverted bastard wasn’t even trying to hide it – his poor attempts of adjusting his breeches a failure once you’d put on your robe. “Her Majesty has summoned us for breakfast. She has an important announcement to make. I suggest you make haste so she won’t be anymore upset with us.”
“With you, you mean,” you waved around your lip balm, “What? Don’t look so offended. I am not the one who caused a scandal here.”
“I’m tired of arguing with you.”
You couldn’t agree more. Smacking your lips together, you walked past him, making sure to sashay your hips as you did. But before you could leave the room, Suna’s hand shot out to wrap it around your wrist. Gently, he pulled you back into him until your breasts brushed with his chest, the dampness of your robe making his shirt stick even harder on his skin.
 “Wait,” he breathed out, not once taking his eyes off you as he blindly swiped for a towel. “Let me dry you off properly. It would be a shame if you made a mess on your newly decorated room.”
Your husband fell down on his knees before you could say a word.
You almost asked him what he was doing when his hands tugged at the ties of your robes, his tender touch pushing them past your shoulders until the robe pooled at your feet. You inhaled sharply. Suna was kneeling before you, caressing your leg and urging you to place at his thigh. You don’t know what compelled you to obey, but you did. Resting it on his leg, you felt too exposed – his nose was right at your stomach, his hands touching everywhere but that one place near your heat.
It was torture.
The entire act was done with slow, purposeful motions. Like an artist taking great care with his sculptures, he pressed hard on your hips to keep you in place when you shivered. His strength, his silent gestures that he wouldn’t let you slip and fall – it broke your heart.
Why couldn’t he love you?
Why couldn’t he touch you this way and mean it?
Why did he have to remove his ring?
The glint of the golden material caught your attention from the vanity. You picked it up where he left it last night, unconsciously hugging it to your chest until you fell asleep. Until now, you’d brought it with you, and stared at it hard enough it might’ve melted. It never did, just as he would never belong to you. And then – his finger swiped over your nipple, the cloth on his hands now damp and his breath staggering as he moved to kiss your bare stomach.
You pushed his head away.
Suna stumbled back, barely. He sat there with a dazed expression, the towel he used to dry you with now forgotten. His hands shook in his lap, his eyes blown wide with something you couldn’t quite name – longing, regret, frustration. Whatever it was, it matched yours.
“I’m dry enough,” you told him, snatching off his ring from the counter and flicking it his way. The two of you watched as it stumbled along the ground with a loud clink, clink, clink, before it rolled right at his feet. When you finally found the courage to speak, your voice was so quiet – you couldn’t hear yourself at all. “Wear it. I don’t care that it no longer means anything to you. I won’t have you causing anymore problems for me when your mother asks about it.”
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When you and Suna sat next to each other at the dining hall, neither of you spoke a word.
In fact, not a single person present dared to. Her Majesty sat at the head of the table, the clink of her utensil the only thing audible as she furiously cut into her steak. She was furious, that much was obvious. Even Crown Prince Ushijima hadn’t touched his meal, and his young son, barely a boy of eight, had his lips shut the entire time.
Finally, she takes a bite, takes a huge drink of her wine, and slams the glass down. All of you jump at the sound.
“It is not every day we can all be gathered here, but as you are all aware, it is a trifling time for the Crown. We as the royal family need to be united now more than ever,” she announced, her back straight as she looked everyone in the eye. “Which is why I am here to inform everyone of some minor changes we will implement from now on, and some events we have planned for the next season. First of all, Princess–” she pointed her knife your way, “-I need you to hold your mother back. She’s getting on my nerves with all her incessant calling.”
“Excuse me?”
“You heard me,” she lifted her chin, “Your Mother hasn’t stopped bugging me ever since that article was released. She demands I return her to you, but I think she forgets her place and yours. You are a Princess now; you are the Crown’s property. You are to stay here and see to your duties until you take your last breath.”
Forcing a smile, you willed yourself to calm down. “My mother was merely concerned, Your Majesty. I’m sure she doesn’t mean any harm.”
“Which is exactly why I’m telling you to tell her to stand down. I have already spoken with my advisors our next course of action and have all decided that we will deny Rintaro and Iris’ affair by all means. We are to pretend as if the article never existed. We need to show we are the Crown, the monarchs and rulers of this grand kingdom. We will not be swayed by measly gossip and defaming rumors.”
“But it wasn’t a rumor. The Crown Prince did sleep with the Princess.”
Her Majesty sighed, the sound dramatically drawn out. “Do you have any complaints, my dear? Because if you did, then you should have attended the meeting this morning.”
You gritted your teeth. “I wasn’t informed there was one.”
“That’s a shame – I thought Rintaro would tell you. It seems he likes to keep his secrets, then,” she jabbed, and your husband nervously sipped his wine as you glared at the sides of his head. “Now, as I was saying before I was rudely interrupted, we planned a few events for this season. For this month, the four of you will be showing up to public events and you are to appear united in marriage. Laugh, kiss, hold hands – I do not care. Just make sure the cameras get it, and if anyone dares ask on any clarifications about the affair, simply tell them that it is very easy to fabricate photographs nowadays. You will deny everything. Understand?”
“Yes, Your Majesty,” agreed Suna, and you scoffed. Snaking his hands under the table, he squeezed yours in assurance and whispered, “Don’t cause a scene in front of the Queen. We will talk later about this.”
“I was hoping we would.”
“Next, Iris and Y/N will be having weekend dates to show they are friends. We have already contacted an orphanage you will pay a visit to. Play with the kids, read storybooks with them, and get as many pictures as possible. Not only will it show that there’s camaraderie between you two, but hanging out with children will also imply that we can expect a next line of heirs soon.”
“A splendid idea!” Atsumu beamed, the first to dig into his meal. Rather, the Prince was halfway finished stuffing his mouth, happily rubbing his hands together at the thought. “This will all be good for the Crown, and to win the people’s trust back.”
“You really don’t know how to shut up, huh?” muttered Osamu.
“Your Majesty. Don’t you think this is going too far?” Tobio spoke up, slamming his hands on the table as he stood up. Beside him, Prince Shinsuke was pleading for him to sit back down. The youngest Prince merely slapped his hands away, looking betrayed by his brother’s words. “Why is no one speaking up? Is this how the royal family really is? You would all lie to your people, deceive them we are all in one heart and mind when we are not. Is that the kind of rulers we aspire to be? Are we really the rulers they look up to?”
Prince Shinsuke pinched the bridge of his nose. “I understand you’re upset, but the throne wouldn’t have lasted this long if none of us pulled some strings and kept up deceiving acts. Trust me, I also do not wish to take a part in this, but Her Majesty is right. The people are already growing restless that we have been without a King for years – having Crown Prince Rintaro’s reputation tarnished will not make this better. And as far as I know, there are still many protests against having an illegitimate child on the throne,” he reminded, causing Prince Ushijima to clear his throat awkwardly. Still, Shinsuke pushed on. “Rintaro is the King the Cabinet wants. We must follow the law. Ushijima can only be crowned King until we have ran out of options.”
Your jaw dropped.
“And what of me?”
“With all due respect, Your Highness, the future of the Kingdom is a heavier matter at hand than your broken heart,” Iris quipped, “Besides, if you knew about our relationship prior to the marriage, then you cannot blame anyone but yourself. You’re in this predicament because you were too cowardly to let go when given the chance.”
“That’s enough!” Tobio yelled. “You all need to stop talking about her like that. You’re all right – the Crown is more important. We need a stable ruler and for the people to not lose their trust in us. But the Princess is still a human. She was lied to, manipulated, and constantly looked down on. The least you can do right now is let her acknowledge her pain, seeing as it is clearly too much for each and every one of you to be decent human beings!”
Her Majesty paid him no mind. Waving her hand in the air dismissively, she sighed. “He is young. He will understand someday.”
At her nonchalance, Tobio’s nostrils flared. It was the last you saw of him before he kicked his chair back, storming out of the hall before everyone erupted into protests. Keiji slunk back into his seat, Shinsuke was immediately making efforts to appease the Queen by apologizing on everyone’s behalf, and Maiko was crying. And you? You glowered at the Queen before following after Tobio, the three other Princes right at your heels.
The doors slammed shut behind you.
You could hear the Princes running after you. Two pairs were rushing, but one pair of footfalls sounded more like stomping. Before you could turn down the hall where Tobio went, you were dragged by, Suna firmly gripping your elbow as he halted you in your tracks.
“Her Majesty was speaking,” he hissed, fingers digging harder to your skin. “Don’t be rude.”
“Oh, fuck off, Rintaro. I can’t believe you right now. Letting me be friends with your mistress? Really? And you didn’t even tell me there was a meeting this morning!”
His free hand ran through his hair. “I didn’t tell you because I knew you would act like this. You would’ve embarrassed me in front of the advisors. Besides, you left before I could–”
“I embarrass you? Do you even hear yourself? You’re the embarrassing one for going behind my back and sleeping with your mistress–”
“She’s not my mistress!”
“Isn’t she? I wasn’t aware there was another word to describe a woman frolicking with a married man!”
His grip grew tighter as he spoke, and you squeaked out in pain. You tried to pry his fingers off of you, but Suna wasn’t having any of it. “You’re one to talk, leaving me here in this country to go around dancing with my brother–” Your husband’s face disappeared before you. In the blink of an eye, he was shoved nearly across the room and falling right at his ass.
Kiyoomi stood protectively over you, his chest rising and falling as he shook with anger.
“Stay away from my wife!”
Meanwhile, Tooru dodged between Suna and Kiyoomi, the former rising on his feet and reeling his arm back in a punch. Tooru effortlessly caught his brother’s arm, but holding him back was a different struggle of itself. “Rin, that’s enough!”
“Are you okay?”
You blinked back from the scene. Kiyoomi was now holding your arm where Suna grabbed you, checking for any injuries. Aside from a little aching, and a possible bruise that would show up tomorrow, you were unharmed. Still, the Prince wasn’t assured. His thick brows pinched together in concern, turning your arm over and over as he muttered to himself the violent things he wished to do to his brother. “Did he hurt you?”
“Not really, but I want to go after Tobio.”
Kiyoomi nodded in understanding. “Go. I’ll handle this.”
You shared a knowing look with him. I’m on your side, his eyes said, and that was enough to reassure you. Giving him a nod, you quickly turned on your heels and ran. You ran and ran until you were out of breath, your corset digging into you uncomfortably. The youngest Prince sure was a fast one – he’d already reached his own study in such a short time.
Peeking through the partially closed door, your heart broke at the sight.
Prince Tobio sat on his painter’s stool, an unfinished portrait of you – smiling in your wedding dress – lay before him. He was crying, sniffling to himself and wiping his tears with the collar of his blouse. Even the sounds of his cries were too painful to hear.
Shutting the door behind you, you took your place behind him, gently squeezing his shoulders to make him look up. When he did, his bloodshot eyes greeted you.
“I’m sorry you had to witness all of that,” you tell him softly, “I didn’t mean to ruin breakfast for you.”
Tobio shook his head. He pulled out a handkerchief before blowing on it, and you smiled despite yourself – he’d grown so much, yet he was still that sweet, naïve boy in your eyes. It felt like a lifetime ago when he had his debut, and now he was flourishing into such a great, young man. Your little brother, the sweetest Prince – you would do anything for him.
“You don’t need to apologize for anything, sis. You’re the victim here.”
You laughed a little. Victim sounded too poor of a word choice. Turning to the canvas before you, you gestured to it. “What are you painting?”
“You,” he admitted with red cheeks, “I started on this when Rintaro announced he’d be marrying you so I could give it as a wedding gift. But Her Majesty wanted me to focus on my studies, so I didn’t have enough time to finish. I mean, it’s not even the same dress you wore on your wedding so it’s inaccurate–”
“-It looks beautiful.”
“It’s still unfinished,” his shoulders slumped in your flattery before he lightened up, already moving to pick up the brushes as he wiped his snot with his hanky. “Since you’re here, would you like me to paint you as you are now? I’ll get a new canvas.”
“Are you sure? I don’t want you to lose all your efforts on your previous painting.”
“It’s fine,” he reassured, and per his instruction, you sat stiffly to ‘pose’ for him. It’s a little awkward, and Tobio struggled to sketch you each time you fidgeted, but at least he wasn’t crying anymore. Midway through his sketch, though, he placed his pencil down, his eyes brimming with tears again. “I still can’t believe Rintaro was capable of being so cruel. I’ll never forgive him for what he did,” he said, his lower lip quivering. “Are they really like this? Is everyone in the Palace truly so heartless? Will I… never find love of my own, too?”
“Oh, Tobio,” you reached your arms out, crushing him to your chest. The Prince’s tears dampened your dress, though you paid it no mind. He was too young for all this hurt – this war over the crown. He was too good for a cruel place like this. “It will get easier someday.”
Fisting your skirt, he buried his face to your neck, his whole body shivering under you. “I never wanted to be a Prince. I-I wanted to keep playing sports and go pro someday. There’s a whole world out there for me to see, and I’m so afraid I’ll never become the person I want to be. I’m afraid I might turn out like my brothers.”
You pulled back to make him look at you. Cupping his face with your hands, you shook your head firmly. “That’s not true, Tobio. You’re already a thousand times better than your brothers. Look, you’re sweet, kind, and passionate. Who says you don’t deserve to achieve your dreams? You can be who you want to be. You can see the world. I promise you that I’ll support you in anything you want to do. Anything.”
“Really?” grinning, he wiped his cheeks free from his tears. “Then… will you come to my game? There’s a match and the Coach just added me to the team. It… Well, it might be a good opportunity for you and everyone else to show you’re unaffected by the scandal, too.”
“Oh, forget the scandal. I only want to see you play,” you tell him, and the Prince’s innocent smile is so big and bright it soothed all the aches in your heart. You promised to yourself, then and there, that you would do what it takes to protect that smile. “Now, should we get to this painting?”
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That talk with Tobio filled you with unwavering resolve.
The poor boy didn’t deserve to spend a minute longer in the Palace. It simply wasn’t a place for him. He needed to be out there, living his life to the fullest, and to be surrounded by good people who were healthy for him. Not his greedy, cheating brothers, and most especially not with the heartless Queen as his only mother figure.
You had to do something for him. You had to weaken the throne even further, exploit their weakness and make the monarchy crumble. If not for you, then you would do it for Tobio.
It was the reason you’d gained enough courage to dial the number weighing heavily in your pockets long before Itachiyama. That piece of paper Kiyoomi slipped into your coat just before you parted ways. You should’ve known it back then – Kiyoomi was somehow always one step ahead of you. It’s like he knew what you wanted to happen before you said out loud. What you needed before you told him what it was. And you’d done it – scheduled the meeting, hired a private chauffer, and rented out a restaurant in the middle of nowhere at the dead time of the night before you could change your mind.
Do it For Tobio. For Kiyoomi. For you.
He arrived not a minute later than the designated time. He stood tall and confident – seemingly unbothered by the mass of hate he’d accumulated. Sauntering in through the doors with a smirk, he let out a low whistle, impressed with the lack of people. You had promised him privacy, after all, and if you wanted to succeed in your plans, you couldn’t be shy in splurging a little bit of money.
“Kuroo Tetsurou, was it?”
“Your Highness,” he greeted with a bow, his smile growing wider as he pulled out his chair. He’s handsome, with a smile you wouldn’t deem trustworthy, and he held an aura to him that warned you to tread carefully. He was, after all, the man who singlehandedly exposed your husband’s affair. “I am flattered by your efforts, though I must admit. I did not expect you would reach out to me of all people. I assumed you wanted my head.”
You offer him a polite smile. “You have it all wrong. In fact, I’m thankful for the opportunity you’ve presented to me,” leaning forward, you slid a thin envelope his way. Inside it contained a document of your own words, one you trusted Kuroo would twist to sound more convincing. “I want you to publish another article.”
Kuroo’s eyes widened. He waited for a beat, a moment or two, for you to say you didn’t mean it. You could’ve been joking. But you hold his gaze, your smile just as firm, refusing to waver from his intense gaze. “With all due respect, Ma’am, I think I’m already in enough trouble for that last one.”
Fair enough. You didn’t think he’d be that easy to convince.
Reaching beside you, you pulled out a case and clicked open the locks for him. If Kuroo was surprised before, he was most definitely flabbergasted by now. Wads of cash piled against each other stared back at him – temping him to reach out and take it. Smiling to yourself, you gently nudged the case in his direction.
“This is half of what I’ll pay you. I’ll pay you twice as much once you’ve done your part,” you promised, “You don’t need to fear, Mr. Kuroo. I’ll guarantee your protection if you do this for me.”
Kuroo chuckled to himself. Shutting the case back shut, he was quick to slide it to his side – deal done and closed. “If a lovely Princess is asking so nicely, I can’t possibly turn it down, can I?” pulling out a small notebook from his coat, Kuroo uncaps his pen with a twist of his teeth. “So let’s get into it. What story do you want, Ma’am? Do you want the truth or… something more scandalous than your husband’s affair?”
“I want you to ruin Iris,” you declared, “Inside that envelope is a list of people the Princess frequently interacts with, as well as records from her history dating back from when she moved here with mother. I want you to look into everything and pick apart whatever could destroy her reputation. There are secrets that she keeps, and I want them out in the public.”
Kuroo doesn’t bother writing that down. “Her reputation is well ruined already, Ma’am. I doubt much could make it worse.”
Your brow shoots up. “Are you doubting my abilities or questioning my demands?”
“Neither,” he reassured with a mischievous grin, “I shall write something about her, then, but what about the Crown Prince? Do I still have the assurance of your protection if he comes after me for messing with his precious little thing?”
Oh, please. His ‘precious little thing’ doesn’t even want him.
Spinning your wedding finger with your thumb, you stared at it. “Tell me, Kuroo. You’re a journalist, one that wasn’t invited at that private party my husband was in. So why were you there that night? Most importantly, how did you get their photos?” you brought your gaze back up to him, “You’re not secretly planning for the downfall of the crown, are you?”
Kuroo scratched the back of his neck. “I wouldn’t dream of it, Your Highness. But to answer your question, then no, I wasn’t invited. I wouldn’t even know a single thing about their affair if it wasn’t for one of you.”
“One of us?” you echoed, “Are you saying someone in the royal family hired you as well?”
“Indeed. Though I must say, I never expected working with just one of you could have me set for life. What more if I teamed up with you too?”
So your theories were right. That article didn’t appear out of nowhere – someone wanted it to happen. “It was Iris, wasn’t it? She asked you to publish that because she knew I was with her husband… but that wouldn’t make any sense. That article puts her in a bad light. It couldn’t be her, right?”
“You’ll be surprised, Ma’am, but it was not the Princess,” he clarified.
Kuroo’s face pinched in contemplation, and then suddenly, pulls out a different phone from his pockets. It’s a beat-up iPhone with its battery nearly dead, but with a few clicks here and there, the video played loud and clear. The camera is shaky, the angles all wrong. Whoever recorded it clearly seemed to be inebriated. Yet there it was – the unmistakable masculine voice groaning, the slapping of skin against each other, and a high-pitched womanly moan. The camera caught nothing but long, blond hair flowing on top of her bouncing breasts before the camera was flipped, finally showing the culprit –
“Atsumu?”
Atsumu gripped Yuki’s hips, shoving the phone between their bodies to show the pistoning of his cock in and out of her. There was no point denying it now. Both their faces were clear from the video, and if this got out…
Kuroo paused the video. “I’m not supposed to be showing you this, but the Prince hasn’t kept up to his end of the bargain, so I might as well ask for your help, too,” shutting the phone off, Kuroo rested his chin on his hands. “That night, he slept with an intoxicated actress and accidentally filmed themselves in the act. The Prince was drunk himself, made the mistake of posting that video online, and merely eighteen minutes later, any traces of their sex tape disappeared. Curious?”
The pieces of the puzzle finally fit.
“He called you to write about Iris and Rintaro to cover up his scandal.”
He snapped his fingers. “Bingo! And he succeeded, even if it was an impulsive decision on his side. Still, the Prince paid me handsomely because he was desperate, but he hasn’t offered me protection like he promised. I’m being hunted down by the Queen’s goons as we speak. Isn’t that why you offered to have me chauffeured here?”
You knew Kuroo prioritized his safety over money due to his current predicament. It was the reason why you risked sneaking out of the Palace and meeting him alone. His terms were clear – no witnesses, no guards, just you and him. You would keep to your word if it meant cornering Iris, but with Atsumu and that poor actress thrown into the mix… things just got more complicated.
Reaching out for Kuroo, you squeezed his hand. “You will be safe with me. I promise you this.”
“Thank you, Your Highness.”
You glanced at the iPhone between you two. It wasn’t that you didn’t trust Kuroo, but now that you know he’d do pretty much anything for money, you couldn’t risk it. It wasn’t just Atsumu’s reputation you were worried about – firstly, Rintaro would kill him if he found out it was all his doing. Second, that poor actress. She rose to fame in her career recently; this would ruin her image. If things took the wrong turn, who was to stop the Queen from forcing the two to get married if that tape was leaked? You couldn’t risk any cracks in your plan.
“Kuroo, may I have that phone?”
“It’s all yours if you throw in another five grand, Princess.”
“Consider it mine then.”
You and Kuroo left immediately after everything was settled. Just as promised, you would cover all his travel expenses. He would stay overseas to ensure his protection while he reached out to his connections to get all the information he needed, and once the article was ready, he’d publish it and disappear from the media. You covered that too – he was paid enough to live comfortably while in hiding. Now, you only needed to wait for everything to go according to plan.
First, the downfall of Iris. Next, her separation with Kiyoomi without having to let Rin ascend to the throne. And once she’s finally out of the picture, you’ll move on to your beloved husband. You’ll seduce him, have him fall completely to your whim, make him realize he could never have anyone like you again – and once he’s wrapped around your finger, you’ll plea for divorce.
A heart for a heart. A marriage for a marriage.
And if the odds play into your favor at the end of it all, there’s only one destination in mind: Kiyoomi’s farmhouse in Itachiyama.
You smiled to yourself – it would work out. You had a good feeling about it. Kiyoomi is supporting you and acting as your spy, Kita is backing you up on the grounds for divorce, and the nation has unwaveringly showed their support for you in these trying times. After all, you were just the poor, neglected wife. They expected you to spend your days crying and chasing after your deceitful husband, or to simply take it all – be silent and smile for the cameras.
Fuck what the Queen said. You won’t let her win.
Driving back to the Palace, you glanced at the time. It’s almost four in the morning, and soon, Her Majesty would be beginning her routine and expecting her daily calls from the Princes. Pressing harder on the gas, you sped up until a glint catches your eye. You glance at the rearview mirror, eyes widening at the fast approaching car from behind – a sleek, black car with the royal family’s crest on it. Shit. But – it couldn’t be the royal guards. You’d made sure no one would see you, and Airi had gotten your note to slip some sleeping pills into Rintaro’s tea so you could sneak out. Kiyoomi was informed of your plans, too, and he’d reassured he’d hold the fort down while you dealt with Kuroo.
Unless Iris had snooped through his phone and found everything out, then –
You wasted no time. You drove faster, reaching for the gun in your glove compartment as the roaring of the car behind you moved in closer and closer. Heart pounding in your chest, you speed-dialed Kiyoomi, praying to any God who was listening that he would pick up. It couldn’t be Iris, it shouldn’t be her. God forbid she does anything to provoke you into pulling the trigger.
Infidelity was one thing, but the murder of a royal family member was not something one could merely frown at. You didn’t want to be thrown into jail.
The call did not push through.
“Fuck!” you slammed your feet on the gas, watching as the car sped up even more until it was now next to you. You were in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by nothing but the mammoth of trees and a never ending road with darkness clouding the path. Just then, the windows rolled down, and you waited with bated breath as the face finally came into view.
Dark hair was the first thing you saw. The windows rolled down, down, down, until you were staring deep into your husband’s eyes. Brow cocked, he smirked, raising the phone to show he’d been calling you – that’s why you couldn’t call Kiyoomi. Suna was interrupting the line. Shit, how was he even awake right now?
Moreover, how did he find you?
You scowled to yourself. There was no outrunning him now. Suna was a ridiculously good driver, and there was no way you would ever use a gun on him. Steeling yourself, you forced yourself to regulate your breathing – your efforts boon when Suna suddenly pressed on forward until he was a feet away from you, maneuvered his car with the hood facing your direction, and then just – stopped.
Bracing your hands on the wheel, you forced all your energy to release its power on the slamming of your brakes. The skidding of your car squeaked for what seemed like minutes until finally – finally – your came to a halt. You were breathing hard, the back of your head aching from the impact of it crashing to the headrest. Meanwhile, Suna opened his car doors in slow, languid movements, the ends of his leather black trench coat hitting the pavement. With nothing but the headlights of his car illuminating him, he looked more like an omen of death than a Prince – dressed in a white turtleneck, black pants, and a long coat that highlighted his tall figure. He looked ominous, like he carried sorrow and pain with him – pain that he was about to make you feel.
Because you knew – of course you knew; you knew him better than anyone – that the placid smile he wore was anything but.
He slammed the car doors shut. Leaning against the hood, Suna’s gloved hands reached for a lighter in his pocket as he lit his cigarette, the stick hanging from between his lips. As soon as it flickered, he pocketed the lighter back, using two of his fingers to make a ‘come hither’ gesture at you.
Clearly, you spoke too early. The odds were not in your favor.
You exited your vehicle, hands gripping the edges of the door as you gathered to courage to take one more step towards him. It wasn’t that you were afraid – he wouldn’t hurt you, not really. But too much could be taken away from you in such little time – Kuroo couldn’t have gone far, and Atsumu’s sex tape was still in the backseat. You didn’t trust Rintaro to not ruin your plans. And you wouldn’t let him, not now when you were so close to victory.
One step, two steps, three steps – your heels clicked against the road as you walked, making sure to keep your chin pointed north. Hips swaying to the side, you finally ended up before him – right between his spread legs – your husband leaning back at the hood of his car whilst he sized you up, his free hand resting behind him.
“Funny seeing you here,” he drawled out, his voice thick with barely-held back rage. “They told me you were sleeping, but last time I checked, driving while falling asleep was illegal.”
“Cheating is also illegal.”
“Your comebacks are getting old, my love.”
Your head snapped to his direction. He hadn’t called you that in forever, not since you’d returned from your honeymoon. To have him call you that now, with such a deeply rich, smooth voice and sounding like he’d just woken up, all breathy and rasp – could it be possible to fuck someone to death?
“What are you doing here?”
“I could ask you the same thing,” tipping his head to the side, Suna’s lips slowly formed into a smirk. He took a drag of his cigarette, keeping his eyes on yours as he wrapped those lips around the stick – delicately and tantalizingly slow – just like how he did when he worshipped you in bed. You breathed out hard and attempted to take a step back, but he was having none of it. Swiftly, he’d tugged on your shirt to pull you close to him, causing you to stumble and fall into his lap. Above you, your husband’s chest rumbled with amusement.
“Look at you. Always so weak for me.”
He leaned in close, his scent of smoke and expensive woodsy perfume enveloping you. It’s addicting, just as he is, and your knees grew weak. Your legs slid down just as Suna wraps a strong arm around your waist to hitch you back in place, your core resting above his thigh. There, he spreads you open with just his knees, his warm lips suddenly attaching themselves to your neck. You gasped out, hands falling to his shoulders in a measly attempt to pull him away – and oh.
Suna had different plans in mind.
“You,” he breathed in your ear, his gloved fingers popping the button of your blouse one by one. “cannot get rid of me that easily, Your Highness. You can slip in as many drugs you want in my drinks, you can kill me a hundred times and fuck me over again and again, but don’t you dare forget,” growling lowly in your ear, your husband took your chin in his hands and forced you to gaze deep into his eyes – pools of hazel swirling with need and wrath – “Not even death can do us part. I’ll keep on looking for you even if you try to hide at the ends of the earth.”
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444mera · 7 months ago
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CHRONICALLY ONLINE!
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hey, you've reached suna. leave a message at the beep.
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after a week straight of being holed up in the dorm working on your finals, with an annoyingly noisy next-door neighbor at that, you're finally out at a party. with the stress of piling assignments, deadly deadlines, and an infuriating neighbor who you've endlessly tried to confront but somehow have never seen the face of — it was time to get drunk. usually, the more alcohol you drink, the more single you feel; you're blackout drunk. now flirting with the guy you've been eyeing the whole night, everything's going well. but why does his voice sound so familiar?
pairing: suna rintarou x f!reader
status: ongoing (started may 31, 2024)
genre: 18+ romance, smau + written
tags: social media au, college au, strangers to lovers, crack, fluff, angst, smut if i feel like it
warnings: swearing, alcohol, drug use (marijuana), suggestive and sexual themes, probably a lot of kms jokes/crude humour
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taglist is open! comment to be tagged :)
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profiles:
art students (and atsumu) | Freaky Singles Looking For Love (18+)
teasers:
semi's gig | where's bo taking us this time?
the setup.
01. hashtag pregame
02. boiler room ☆
03.
04.
05.
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☆ mera's mail ! hey divas this is my first actual smau (but i've always wanted to make one lol!) i've regressed into my 2020-2022 haikyuu phase and i've been trying to look for smaus to no avail ... so i decided to make my own instead because i'm self-indulgent like that. ALSO the cover photo for this took me an egregious amount of time because i had to start over so i hope y'all like it. recommend some series' you think i'd enjoy! you can send me questions, suggestions, etc. in my ask too. i am also very open to moots mwahahah
609 notes · View notes
sweetlyvibe · 1 month ago
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» 𝗪𝗛𝗔𝗧 𝗪𝗔𝗦, 𝗪𝗛𝗔𝗧 𝗜𝗦, 𝗪𝗛𝗔𝗧 𝗖𝗢𝗨𝗟𝗗 𝗕𝗘 «
PAIRING : Atsumu Miya / Suna Rintarou x Fem!Reader
GENRE : hurt / comfort
WORD COUNT : 4.8k
SUMMARY : Unspoken feelings break the bond between you and Atsumu. As you try to heal, Rintarou steps into your life in ways you never expected. But with lingering regrets and new emotions, what happens when the past tries to catch up?
CONTENT / WARNINGS : Angst, emotional hurt/comfort, unrequited feelings, heartbreak, romantic tension, use of [Y/N], mentions of past relationships, slow burn, and light references to jealousy.
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You and Atsumu Miya had been inseparable for years. From the very first day you met, something clicked between you two. You knew each other’s quirks, your favorite foods, the stupid inside jokes that no one else would ever understand. Everyone around you always teased you both, constantly dropping hints that it was obvious to anyone that you liked each other. But you two? You pretended to ignore it.
Atsumu never said anything, and neither did you. There were moments, small gestures, like the way his eyes softened when you laughed, or the way you could tell he was thinking of you just from a quick glance. But every time the tension became too palpable, one of you would retreat. It was always safer to stay in the realm of friendship. But everyone could see it. And deep down, you could feel it too.
Then, everything changed. It wasn’t sudden—more like a gradual shift that you couldn’t quite pinpoint. It started when Atsumu began pulling away from you, and at first, you chalked it up to him just being busy with volleyball. But days turned into weeks, and the distance between you two grew too noticeable to ignore. He was still the same Atsumu—playful, loud, and always there for the people he cared about. But he wasn’t there for you. Not like before.
You’d come to expect him to show up at your favorite café, or to make his usual sarcastic remarks when you were hanging out with friends, but he stopped. You’d leave him text messages, but the replies were shorter, less frequent. He’d cancel plans, and when you saw him at school or during volleyball practice, there was a clear gap between you two—an invisible wall that you could never quite break.
It hurt.
You couldn’t understand why he was distancing himself. Every time you saw him, you fought the urge to confront him, to demand answers. But you knew him too well. Atsumu wasn’t the type to share his feelings easily, especially when it came to something like this.
It was a quiet afternoon when it all hit you. You had been sitting in the back corner of the café, sketching aimlessly in your notebook, trying not to notice how the seat across from you was empty.
Then Atsumu walked in. For a moment, your heart skipped a beat. His usual grin was nowhere to be seen. He didn’t even glance in your direction as he walked past you and sat with someone else—another teammate, someone you didn’t even know.
Your stomach twisted into knots, but you kept your cool. You told yourself it was nothing. But the longer he stayed, the more you felt the weight of the situation. He was avoiding you.
You were left with only your thoughts. Had you done something wrong? Did he find someone else? Was it possible that Atsumu had grown tired of your friendship?
A few days later, you found yourself standing in front of his house, your heart pounding against your chest. You hadn’t seen him in days, and you couldn’t take the silence any longer. You had to know why.
You knocked on the door, and when Atsumu answered, you were met with his usual teasing smile, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “Well, well, look who decided to show up. What’s up?”
His voice was too casual, too distant. Something in his expression made you feel like a stranger, like he was seeing you through a veil.
“I need to talk to you,” you said, trying to keep your voice steady. “Why have you been avoiding me?”
He blinked at you, clearly caught off guard by the question, but the smile stayed. “Avoiding you? C’mon, you’re overthinking it.”
But you weren’t. You could feel it. The distance, the silence, the coldness. It wasn’t like before.
“Atsumu, stop.” You stepped forward, your voice trembling. “You’ve been pulling away for weeks now, and I need to know why. What happened?”
For a moment, it seemed like he might actually say something. You saw the conflict flash in his eyes, but just as quickly as it came, it disappeared. He took a deep breath and sighed, running a hand through his hair.
“It’s nothing, alright?” His tone was defensive, but there was something in his voice that made you pause. “I just need some space, okay? You… you won’t understand.”
You felt your heart drop into your stomach. You had no idea what was happening, but the feeling of rejection stung deeper than you’d ever imagined. You could tell this wasn’t a simple issue. But instead of pressing him further, you took a step back, feeling like the words you wanted to say were stuck in your throat.
“I’ll give you your space then,” you whispered. “But I don’t understand why you can’t just tell me what’s going on.”
Atsumu didn’t respond. He just watched you walk away, the door clicking shut behind you.
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Days turned into weeks, and you fought every urge to reach out to him again. You tried, really tried, to keep yourself busy. You spent more time with friends, buried yourself in schoolwork, but everything reminded you of him. The silence between you two was unbearable.
It had been weeks since you last saw Atsumu properly—really saw him, like how it used to be. You were tired of the confusion, tired of overthinking, and most of all, tired of missing someone who was right there but felt a thousand miles away.
So when you caught him alone after practice one evening, you didn’t hesitate. He was leaning against the wall of the gym, scrolling on his phone, and when he noticed you approaching, his expression froze.
“We need to talk,” you said, your voice firm but not angry. You weren’t sure what you were feeling anymore—too many emotions swirling in your chest.
Atsumu sighed, shoving his phone into his pocket. “Alright. Let’s talk.”
You searched his face, looking for the boy you used to know, the one who made you laugh so hard your stomach hurt. But all you saw now was a mask of discomfort, like he was bracing himself for a storm.
“Why?” you asked simply. “Why have you been avoiding me? What did I do wrong?”
He ran a hand through his hair, looking away from you. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“Then why?” Your voice cracked, but you pressed on. “Why did you push me away? Why did you leave me out of your life like this?”
He hesitated, his jaw tightening. For a moment, it seemed like he wasn’t going to answer. Then he took a deep breath. “I’ve been seeing someone.”
The words hit you like a punch to the gut. You felt the air leave your lungs, your heart dropping into your stomach. “You… what?”
“I’m dating someone,” he said again, his tone quieter this time. “That’s why I’ve been distant.”
You stared at him, trying to process the words. It wasn’t just that he had moved on—it was that he had chosen to leave you behind without a word, as if you were disposable.
“So that’s it?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper. “You’re leaving me—your best friend—for someone you’ve known for what, a few weeks?”
“It’s not like that,” he said quickly, but you could hear the guilt in his voice. “She’s… She’s uncomfortable with me having a girl best friend, okay? I didn’t have a choice.”
Your heart cracked further at the excuse, the way he tried to justify abandoning you. “You didn’t have a choice?” you repeated, bitterness creeping into your tone. “So instead of talking to me, you just decided to disappear? To act like I don’t matter anymore?”
“It wasn’t like that,” he insisted, though his voice wavered. “I just— I thought it’d be easier for both of us.”
“For both of us? Or just for you?”
Atsumu looked at you then, really looked at you, and for the first time, you saw the truth in his eyes. It wasn’t about the girl he was dating. It was about something deeper, something he wasn’t saying.
But you were too tired to push any further.
“Fine,” you said, swallowing the lump in your throat. “If that’s what you want. If you really think it’s easier to just… cut me out of your life, then fine. I’ll do the same.”
“(Y/N)—”
“No, Atsumu,” you interrupted, your voice trembling. “You don’t get to leave and then act like you’re the one hurting. You made your choice. I hope it’s worth it.”
His face fell, but he didn’t stop you as you turned and walked away. You didn’t look back, even as your vision blurred with tears.
And Atsumu, standing alone outside the gym, let you go. Because even though every part of him wanted to stop you, he convinced himself that this was for the best.
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Rintarou Suna wasn’t usually one to get involved in other people’s business. He observed things from a distance, took mental notes, and let the world unfold without interfering too much. But watching you these past few weeks made something in him stir.
You were a shadow of yourself—walking through the halls like you carried the weight of the world on your shoulders. The bright, cheerful person who used to light up every room was gone, replaced by someone quieter, someone hurting.
It was impossible not to notice.
And as much as he tried to convince himself it wasn’t his place to step in, he couldn’t ignore the pang in his chest every time he saw you. He knew what had happened with Atsumu. It was impossible not to know. Atsumu might’ve been his closest friend, but even he couldn’t understand why the setter had let you go like that.
So, one evening, Suna found himself staring at your name in his messages. He didn’t overthink it—just sent a simple text.
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True to his word, Rintarou showed up at six the next evening. You weren’t sure what to expect—it wasn’t like the two of you had ever hung out one-on-one before. You were always part of a group, usually with the Miya twins.
He took you to a casual ramen shop, the kind of place you wouldn’t have picked yourself but immediately loved. It was quiet, tucked away from the busier streets, and the food was amazing.
You were nervous at first, unsure of how to act around him. But Rintarou had a way of making things feel easy. He wasn’t overly chatty, but he had this calm, steady presence that put you at ease.
After eating, the two of you wandered to a nearby park. The sun was just beginning to set, painting the sky in hues of orange and pink.
“I didn’t know you liked ramen so much,” you said as you both sat on a bench overlooking a small pond.
“There’s a lot you don’t know about me,” Rintarou replied, smirking slightly.
You rolled your eyes. “Oh, yeah? Like what?”
“Like the fact that I’m ridiculously good at claw machines.”
You laughed, the sound surprising even yourself. It was the first time you’d genuinely laughed in weeks, and Rintarou noticed.
“See? Told you I was good for something,” he said, leaning back against the bench.
The conversation flowed easily after that. You talked about everything and nothing—your favorite shows, the places you wanted to travel, the things that made you happy. For the first time in weeks, you felt like yourself again.
As the sun dipped below the horizon, you glanced at Rintarou and realized how much you appreciated his company. He wasn’t trying to fix you or force you to talk about what happened with Atsumu. He was just… there. And that was enough.
A month passed, and your hangouts with Rintarou became more frequent. What started as casual conversations turned into late-night texts, impromptu coffee runs, and long walks through the park. You hadn’t felt this close to someone in a long time, and it scared you a little.
One evening, you were sitting on the swings at the same park, the stars shining brightly overhead. Rintarou had been quieter than usual, and you could tell something was on his mind.
“What’s up?” you asked, nudging him with your foot.
He looked at you for a long moment, his expression unreadable. Then he sighed, running a hand through his hair.
“I like you,” he said, the words blunt but sincere.
You blinked, caught completely off guard. “What?”
“I like you,” he repeated, his voice steady despite the vulnerability in his eyes. “And I know you’re still trying to move on from… everything. I’m not trying to rush you or make things harder for you. I just wanted you to know.”
You stared at him, your heart pounding. You didn’t know what to say, and he seemed to notice your hesitation.
“I’ll wait,” he added quickly. “As long as it takes. I just… I think you deserve to be with someone who actually sees you. Someone who doesn’t walk away when things get hard.”
His words hit you harder than you expected. You thought about all the times he’d been there for you over the past month, the way he made you feel seen and understood.
You didn’t know if you were ready for something new, but one thing was clear: Rintarou wasn’t like anyone else.
“Rin,” you started, your voice soft. “I don’t know if I can—”
“I know,” he interrupted gently. “And that’s okay. I’m not asking you for anything right now. Just… think about it, alright?”
You nodded, tears pricking at the corners of your eyes. For the first time in a long time, you felt a spark of hope.
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The relationship with the girl Atsumu had chosen over you didn’t last long. At first, it felt like a distraction—a way to silence the feelings he was too scared to confront. But the more time he spent with her, the clearer it became: she wasn’t you.
Every laugh, every conversation, every small moment felt hollow. He’d catch himself comparing her to you—the way she didn’t understand his jokes the way you did, or how her presence didn’t bring him the same comfort.
By the time the relationship ended, Atsumu was left with an emptiness he couldn’t ignore. He had thought pushing you away would make things easier, but all it had done was make him realize how much he needed you.
And now, as he sat alone in his room, scrolling through old photos on his phone, the ache in his chest felt unbearable. One picture caught his attention—it was from last year, the two of you grinning at the camera with Osamu and Rintarou behind you, all mid-laugh.
He stared at the image for a long time before closing his eyes, his fists clenching. He couldn’t keep running from his feelings. He needed to tell you.
It had taken Atsumu days to work up the courage to confess. He had rehearsed what he would say over and over in his head, imagining every possible scenario. Would you forgive him? Would you hate him? Did you still care at all?
But before he could act, something stopped him in his tracks.
It was a Friday night, and he was scrolling aimlessly through Instagram when he saw it: your story.
The first slide was a picture of food—burgers and fries from one of the places Atsumu knew you loved. He almost swiped past it, but the next slide made his heart drop.
It was you, sitting across from someone at a dimly lit table. The photo was candid, your smile so wide and genuine it almost hurt to look at.
Then came the next slide: Rintarou, leaning back in his chair with a small smirk, his eyes focused on you like there was no one else in the world.
Atsumu’s chest tightened, his breathing shallow.
No.
His thumb hovered over the screen, his mind racing. He stared at the story until it looped back to the beginning, unable to process what he was seeing.
It couldn’t be.
But it was.
He put his phone down, his hands trembling. All the confidence he’d built up, all the plans he’d made to confess—it shattered in an instant.
Because it was too late.
He spent the rest of the night lying on his bed, staring at the ceiling. His thoughts were a whirlwind, alternating between disbelief, regret, and a sharp, unrelenting pain.
Rintarou. Of all people, it had to be Rintarou.
They had been friends for years, practically brothers. Atsumu couldn’t even be angry at him—he knew Rintarou wasn’t the type to swoop in unless he was serious.
But knowing that didn’t make it any easier.
The memories flooded back: the way you used to laugh at his dumb jokes, the way you’d tease him when he got too full of himself, the way you always seemed to know when he needed someone to lean on.
He had taken it all for granted.
And now, someone else had stepped in to fill the void he had left.
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The next time Atsumu saw Rintarou at practice, he couldn’t meet his eyes. The usual banter between them was gone, replaced by an awkward tension that neither of them addressed.
He wanted to say something, to confront him, to ask if it was true—but what right did he have? He had been the one to push you away. He had been the one to hurt you.
Later, when Osamu asked him what was wrong, Atsumu just shook his head. “Nothin’,” he mumbled, forcing a smile.
But Osamu wasn’t fooled.
“Yer terrible at hidin’ things, y’know,” Osamu said, crossing his arms. “This about her?”
Atsumu froze, his eyes widening. “What?”
Osamu sighed. “(Y/N). I ain’t stupid, Tsumu. I know how ya feel about her. And I know ya messed up.”
Atsumu looked away, shame creeping up his neck. “It doesn’t matter anymore,” he muttered. “She’s with Rin now.”
Osamu raised an eyebrow. “And yer just gonna give up?”
“What else can I do?” Atsumu snapped, his voice cracking. “I already lost her.”
Osamu didn’t say anything for a long moment, just staring at his twin. Then he clapped him on the shoulder, his grip firm.
“Then don’t screw up yer next chance.”
Atsumu didn’t respond, but Osamu’s words lingered long after he walked away.
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Atsumu hadn’t planned to do this. He wasn’t sure why he thought talking to you would help, but the knot in his chest had grown unbearable. It wasn’t fair—not to you, not to Rintarou, and certainly not to himself. He needed to say something, to let it out, even if it meant facing the harsh reality that you were no longer his to have.
The opportunity came one quiet evening after practice. He saw you sitting on the bleachers, scrolling through your phone while waiting for Rintarou to finish up. You looked peaceful, content even, and it made his chest tighten.
“Hey,” he called out, his voice hesitant.
You looked up, surprised. “Atsumu? What’s up?”
He hesitated for a moment before sitting down beside you, leaving a noticeable gap between you. The silence stretched as he searched for the right words.
“Can we… talk?” he finally asked, his tone softer than you were used to.
You frowned slightly, concerned by his unusually serious demeanor. “Sure. What’s on your mind?”
Atsumu exhaled shakily, rubbing the back of his neck. “I’ve been thinkin’ a lot lately… about us.”
Your eyes widened slightly, but you stayed quiet, giving him space to continue.
“I know I screwed up,” he admitted, his gaze fixed on the floor. “Pushin’ ya away, makin’ ya think I didn’t care… That was on me. I thought it’d be easier, y’know? If I just… buried how I felt.”
Your heart sank as his words sank in. “Atsumu…”
He finally looked up, his eyes glistening with unshed tears. “But it wasn’t easier. It just made everythin’ worse. And now… now I’m here, watchin’ ya with Rin, and I can’t stop thinkin’ about how it could’ve been me.”
You bit your lip, your chest tightening. “Why are you telling me this now?”
“Because I need ya to know,” he said, his voice trembling. “I need ya to know that I loved ya—still do. But I know it’s too late. I can see it in how ya look at him. And I don’t wanna mess that up for ya.”
The weight of his confession hung heavily between you, and for a moment, you didn’t know what to say.
“Atsumu,” you began carefully, your voice steady despite the whirlwind of emotions inside you. “I’m not going to lie. When you pushed me away, it hurt. I didn’t understand why, and I hated that you wouldn’t tell me. I spent so long trying to figure out what I did wrong.”
He flinched at your words, guilt washing over him.
“But now I get it,” you continued, your tone softening. “And I appreciate you telling me this. I really do. But… things are different now.”
Atsumu nodded slowly, his throat tightening. “Ya really care about him, don’t ya?”
You smiled faintly, a warmth spreading across your face at the thought of Rintarou. “I do. He’s been there for me in ways I didn’t expect. And I don’t want to hurt him, Atsumu. He deserves better than that.”
He swallowed hard, forcing a small, bittersweet smile. “Yeah… he does.”
The two of you sat in silence for a while, the weight of unspoken feelings finally settling. It wasn’t the ending either of you had envisioned, but it was the one you both needed.
“I guess this is it, huh?” Atsumu said, his voice barely above a whisper.
You turned to him, your eyes filled with a mixture of sadness and gratitude. “It doesn’t have to be. You’re still important to me, Atsumu. Maybe not in the way you want, but that doesn’t mean I don’t care about you.”
He gave a small nod, though the ache in his chest didn’t lessen. “I’ll always care about ya too.”
As you stood to leave, Rintarou approached, his gaze flickering between you and Atsumu. He didn’t say anything, but his presence alone made Atsumu realize it was time to step back.
“Take care of her,” Atsumu said quietly, meeting Rintarou’s eyes.
Rintarou nodded, understanding the weight behind the words. “I will.”
That night, Atsumu walked home alone, the cool breeze biting against his skin. For the first time in months, the knot in his chest felt looser, the weight on his shoulders lighter.
He knew the pain wouldn’t go away overnight, but he also knew that holding onto something that was no longer his would only hurt him more.
You were happy, and that was all that mattered.
As he lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, a single tear slipped down his cheek. He let it fall, letting himself feel the loss one last time before closing his eyes.
Tomorrow would be a new day, and Atsumu Miya would find a way to move forward.
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Rintarou had never been one to act impulsively, but watching you over the past few months had tested his patience. He had seen you laugh, cry, and slowly stitch yourself back together after Atsumu broke your heart. He’d been there for the late-night texts, the casual hangouts that became something more, and the quiet moments when you thought no one noticed how much you were still hurting.
He noticed everything.
From the beginning, his feelings had been something he shoved to the side. You were Atsumu’s best friend, practically untouchable in his eyes. But now? Now, you weren’t just someone he admired from a distance. You were the person he wanted to see happy, even if it meant waiting until you were ready.
Rintarou was deliberate about everything. If he was going to confess, it had to be perfect—not flashy or overwhelming, but something that felt like you. Something thoughtful.
He remembered a conversation you’d had weeks ago about how you missed doing creative things, like drawing and painting. The way your face lit up when you talked about it stuck with him. That’s when he got the idea.
He spent the next week preparing: buying canvases, paint, brushes, and even scouting the perfect spot in the park where you’d have privacy. The confession itself was the tricky part. How could he say everything he felt in a way that wouldn’t scare you off?
That’s when he decided to let the moment speak for itself.
The day of the confession was perfect. The late afternoon sunlight bathed the park in warm hues, and a gentle breeze rustled the leaves. Rintarou arrived early, setting up the picnic blanket under a tree with the canvases and paints neatly arranged to one side.
When you arrived, he felt his heart skip a beat. You looked happy, carefree even, and it made his nerves settle just a little.
“This is so sweet, Rin,” you said, sitting down beside him. “I didn’t know you liked picnics.”
“I don’t,” he teased, smirking. “But you do, so here we are.”
You laughed, nudging him lightly. “You’re not as lazy as you pretend to be, huh?”
He shrugged, pulling out the canvases. “I thought we could try somethin’ different. You said you missed drawing, so…”
Your eyes widened, a soft smile spreading across your face. “You remembered?”
“‘Course I did,” he said, avoiding your gaze as his ears turned pink.
The two of you spent the next hour painting and chatting, the conversation flowing effortlessly. You decided to draw each other, and while you tried your best to capture Rintarou’s sharp features, he seemed oddly focused on his own canvas.
“Are you even trying?” you teased, leaning over to peek at his work.
He quickly pulled the canvas away, his smirk widening. “Patience, (Y/N). You’ll see when it’s done.”
You rolled your eyes but went back to your own work, tongue poking out in concentration as you added the finishing touches. When you were finally done, you turned your canvas to him.
“Okay, don’t laugh,” you warned.
Rintarou’s eyes softened as he took in your painting. It wasn’t perfect, but it was undeniably him—the way you saw him, not just as a friend but as someone important.
“It’s great,” he said sincerely, his voice quieter than usual.
You blushed under his gaze. “Thanks. Now let me see yours.”
He hesitated for a moment, then handed you his canvas without a word.
Your breath caught as you looked at his painting—or rather, what wasn’t a painting at all. Instead of a portrait, Rintarou had written words in bold, neat letters across the blank canvas:
Will you be my girlfriend?
You stared at the canvas, your heart pounding in your chest. Slowly, you looked up to meet his gaze.
“Rin…”
He scratched the back of his neck, looking uncharacteristically nervous. “I know this might be bad timing, and I know you’re still—well, I just… I like ya, (Y/N). I’ve liked ya for a long time. And I get it if you’re not ready, but I just wanted ya to know how I feel.”
The sincerity in his voice made your chest tighten. You thought back to all the little moments with Rintarou—the way he had been there for you when you felt at your lowest, the quiet understanding he offered without expecting anything in return, the subtle warmth that had started to grow between you.
Tears pricked your eyes as you smiled. “You’re not bad at this romantic stuff, huh?”
He let out a breathy laugh, relief washing over him. “So… is that a yes?”
You nodded, setting the canvas down and leaning forward to wrap your arms around him. “It’s a yes.”
Rintarou froze for a moment before hugging you back, his usual smirk replaced with a genuine, almost shy smile.
“Good,” he murmured, his voice soft. “‘Cause I wasn’t gonna give up that easy.”
As the sun dipped below the horizon, painting the sky in shades of orange and pink, the two of you stayed close, the world around you fading into the background.
Rintarou couldn’t help but think that maybe, just maybe, waiting had been worth it after all.
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The next time Atsumu saw you, it was at school. You were sitting with Rintarou, your heads bent close together as you shared a laugh. He watched from a distance, his chest tight with emotions he couldn’t quite name.
It hurt, but it also gave him clarity. You were happy, and Rintarou was the reason why.
For once, Atsumu didn’t interrupt, didn’t try to make a joke to ease the tension or fight for your attention. He turned and walked away, knowing that this was the choice he had to make—not for you, but for himself.
He’d hold onto the memories of you, of what you’d been to him, but it was time to let go.
And maybe, just maybe, that was the first step toward his own new beginning.
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rishiguro · 2 years ago
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BUSY THINKING ABOUT EX BOYFRIEND!SUNA
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ex boyfriend!suna who refuses to show any kind of emotion regarding your breakup, keeping his stoic facial expression.
ex boyfriend!suna who however doesn't want to talk about you or even hear your name being mentioned; and whenever anybody brings you up, he leaves.
ex boyfriend!suna who dropped off the clothes you kept in his place during a time he knew you weren't home, simply because he doesn't want to face you.
ex boyfriend!suna who still looks at your social media profile religiously, clenching his jaw when he sees your radient smile in your newest posts.
ex boyfriend!suna who can't bring himself to throw away your photo albums, instead keeping them underneath his bed (just like he did before)
ex boyfriend!suna who avoids every place that you frequent, but denies that he doesn't go there because of you.
ex boyfriend!suna who still goes to the small cafés and restaurants where you used to go on dates. ordering the exact same thing he always ordered.
ex boyfriend!suna who sometimes gets your coffee order while he's out, even though he doesn't like it, because he misses the time where he could taste it when kissing you.
ex boyfriend!suna who drafts long messages to you, pouring his heart out, only to never send them.
ex boyfriend!suna who was always one to listen to music, but now he's never leaving his home without headphones, wanting to block everything and everyone out.
ex boyfriend!suna who suddenly is way more social with his friends, because he doesn't want to be left alone with his thoughts if it's not necessary. because every thought he has is about you.
ex boyfriend!suna who hates you for looking so happy after your breakup, wondering why he has to be the only one that suffers constantly.
ex boyfriend!suna who isn't used to feeling so intensly, because now he can't lean on you anymore.
ex boyfriend!suna who would never actually admit that he wants you back, opting to wallow in your shared memories.
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reblogs are appreciated
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rineros · 1 month ago
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SHE WAS TOO GOOD TO ME
summary: he wants to heal
characters: miya atsumu, ex!reader
contains: 1.6k, self reflection post breakup
note: don’t judge ooc atsuwu i haven’t written hq fics in four years and he was the closest person to my ex bestie #fuckthatguy
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sometimes, miya atsumu allows himself to wonder what could have happened if he wasn’t such an asshole.
he glances to his right. across the empty side of the bed where the scent of your shampoo was fading, his alarm clock reads 2:56 am. he groans loudly in frustration and drags his hands down his face, stretching out his tired features.
he stares at his ceiling that is illuminated by the glow in the dark stars you and he stuck up there once upon a time. a small smile strikes him when he remembers walking in on you hopping on the bed to get them up there.
he had watched you for a minute before you saw him. he’ll never forget that warm, fuzzy feeling in his chest when you laughed joyously the moment you saw him and jumped from the bed to his arms. he held on to you tightly as he spun you around, relishing in the feeling of being truly loved.
you had kissed him so gently as you smiled when he set you down that he thought of himself as an adorable little puppy.
you excitedly showed him the progress you had made over the past hour, which honestly wasn’t much, but he knew you had probably gotten distracted by your phone.
“i got an idea,” he said, putting his hands on your shoulders. “turn around.”
“you’re one dirty dog, you know that?” you giggled as you followed his movements.
you had yelped as you felt yourself being hoisted up into the air, but he gripped your waist as you held on to his hair for dear life. you steadied yourself and praised him for being such an innovative and creative problem-solver, making his cheeks flush.
from there, he walked to wherever in the room you wanted to place the stars, bed be damned, and by the time you two had finished, the sun had set. he set you down as he had done earlier and the two of you had lain patiently in bed, talking to pass the time as you waited for the darkness to settle.
when the stars started glowing, both of you had squealed childishly, but he thought that all those rare, once-in-a-lifetime comets could never compare to the sparkle in your eyes. cheesy, he knows.
he checks his clock again. it’s a quarter past three.
osamu’s going to be pissed if he calls him.
fuck it.
atsumu grabs his phone from the nightstand and dials the person who will always listen to him. he cringes when he hears osamu’s ringtone across the hallway.
it rings… and rings… and rings. voicemail.
an eerie silence settles in the apartment. you always hated that. the air is still, his pillow is much too flat, and there’s a disturbing feeling bubbling in his throat.
atsumu jumps and drops his phone on his face as his ringtone blares in his ears. he pinches the bridge of his nose, rubbing it to soothe the sharp pain as he accepts the call.
“the hell you want?” the raspy voice of his brother mutters. atsumu feels bad because he knows that osamu’s first class starts at 8:00, but he can’t deal with this anymore tonight.
“i just… i wanted to talk.” his foot starts to shake and bounce as the silence returns.
a second passes, then another.
“come over.”
with that, his restless body rises from bed and walks quickly and nimbly across the hall to osamu’s room with his blanket wrapped around him. he opens the door to a half-asleep osamu and climbs into his queen-sized bed, the perk he received since atsumu got the bigger room. he makes himself comfortable as he lays on his side to face osamu, bringing the blanket up to his chin, basking in the warmth that could never match your own.
“gimme a sec,” osamu says gruffly. his eyes are still closed as he lays on his back. atsumu watches as he takes a few more deep breaths, then slowly cracks his neck to wake himself up. “talk.”
atsumu moves to lay himself on his back after he sees his eyes open slightly. they both stare at osamu’s bare ceiling.
“i never told you this, but when she broke up with me,” he pauses. “she didn’t cry. she looked too exhausted.
“she told me even before we broke up that i stopped putting in as much effort and that she felt like she wasn’t even in a relationship anymore, just the ghost of it.
“she completely tore me to shreds without even raising her voice because that’s who she is. no matter how much you hurt her, she’ll never hurt you. she cares too much. she wasn’t even trying to rip into me, like, she was just explaining the type of person i am and how my actions affected her and everyone’s perception of me.
“she told me that every time i hurt her, it seemed like i didn’t take her seriously and i never took accountability for my actions; i was always trying to weasel my way out of trouble.
“but i just wanted to preserve everyone’s feelings, y’know? i wanted to keep the peace. i never meant to make her feel like that.”
atsumu stops talking for a second as he waits for osamu to say something. it’s all a blur, with bits and pieces flashing in his head, but he could never forget the blank look in your eyes as you pointed out his shortcomings as a person, not just as a boyfriend.
“we judge others based on their actions, but we judge ourselves by our intentions,” osamu says. his voice is still ragged with exhaustion and his eyes have closed yet again. “i heard mom say somethin’ like that to her friend once.
“i believe you when you say you think you didn’t do anything wrong, but that’s only from your perspective. you’re busy; i get that and so does she. there’s volleyball, classes, homework, clubs, work, your friends, and then you added her, but it seems like you had spread yourself too thin already—“
“and that’s exactly one of the points i told her,” atsumu interrupts. “i’m not gonna be able to give her 100% all the time because i already do so much.”
osamu side-eyes him. “will you shut up and let me finish?”
atsumu huffs but lets him continue anyway.
“what i’m trying to get at is that, yeah, you’re busy, but you’re not the only person that’s busy. this isn’t just your world that we’re living in, it’s everyone’s. to her, it must have seemed like all of the effort, time, and love she invested in you was losing its value every time you ignored her or prioritized something stupid when she needed you. it’s not difficult to detach yourself from something that treats you like you don’t matter if you know your worth.
“you also lie. a lot. and i know you think they’re harmless little white lies, but they’ve gotten too out of hand lately that you’ve probably become desensitized to them.
“she’s smart and she knows you. she knew whenever you lied and it destroyed any kind of trust or credibility that you had.
“and that bullshit about wanting to spare everyone’s feelings? you know you don’t care about all that. also, who cares? nobody made you play mediator besides yourself and it’s impossible to not hurt anyone. you’re already hurting people; you’ve done it before and you’re going to keep doing it because that’s what learning is about. making mistakes. and if you haven’t already realized that you’re hurting people more than you would if you’d just tell the damn truth, you’re screwed,” osamu finishes his monologue, leaving atsumu in his thoughts.
was it really that bad for you? was he?
when he was younger, his tongue was as sharp as a shard of glass and he was much more careless with his words. it didn’t matter to him if the true words, in his opinion, hurt those around him. his belief was that there was no improvement without criticism. as he grew up, however, he had to learn to filter himself because nobody would willingly choose to be around someone who solely focused on their flaws.
and somewhere between then and now, he had forgotten the importance of honesty, usually opting to twist and bend the truth to preserve his reputation. it started off with a fib of “too much hw, can’t hang tn :(“ to multiple complicated lies spanning months, in which he would tell others things to make himself seem better. the kinder person, the most reliable, the smartest. just better.
eventually, it became too difficult to manage all of these lies and his stories became mixed up. when he was questioned about it, he would lie even more and even harder.
even now, as osamu told atsumu what he thought of him and his situation with you, there wasn’t much good. though atsumu came to osamu for comfort tonight, he, like you, wasn’t trying to make him feel bad, but it seems that’s the way he is destined to feel about himself when his personality is brought into conversation.
osamu snores next to him and as atsumu snuggles up to his blanket further, he realizes that this is a path he no longer wants to walk down.
he’s going to be better.
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