#and then i was freaking out and like. care was pretty much fine. anyway. tried to recover from Bad Driving and then somehow

[getoutofmytardis]

i do not care for dreams atm! they always make me sad! and yet they’re so dumb! for why! for what!

[moody-alcoholic]

The Missing Piece

Chapter 2 - Dinner Date

Summary: Ghoap x Reader, throuple. 4.6k words. Reader is female (she/her), army nurse, non descript physical features, names used: Ashe.

CW: Mentions of sex, description of injuries/ scars, alcohol, little bit of fluffy touching.

Previous parts - masterlist - next

AO3

Enjoy <3

You’re early again standing outside the coffee shop doors. Johnny didn’t give you much warning asking if you were free that afternoon. You should have said no, rescheduled for another day. You didn’t want to come across as desperate, you didn’t want them to think you had nothing better to do then wait around for Johnny’s text. In truth that’s all you had been doing. You had spent the last two days trying to distract yourself, thoroughly cleaning the flat and yourself. The vague talk of sex had you scrubbing and waxing your body within an inch of its life. 

You take a breath and walk into the cafe, the place is warm and you find yourself taking your coat off walking up to the counter, ordering a tea. You pick a spot where you can see the door this time. You flick through social media on your phone trying to calm yourself, checking the door every time it opens. It didn’t take long before you clock Johnny and Simon walking in.

Johnny is standing up on his tiptoes making him almost taller then Simon. Your heart skips a beat as Johnny spots you walking over to you dragging Simon behind him. He’s not wearing his usual skull balaclava, instead a the bottom half of his face is covered with black surgical mask and his hood pulled up. He sits down while Johnny takes his jacket off placing it over the back of the chair 

“Need another?” He asks pointing at your cup.

“No, I’m good,” you say gripping it. Johnny smiles walking behind Simon pulling his hood down as he makes his way to the counter. You smile eyes fixated on Simon's curly golden locks. His eyes are a deep chocolate brown, his meets your gaze and you blush looking away. You take another sip of your tea, your leg bouncing under the table as you wait in silence for Johnny to come back. He places a cup in front of Simon and sits down with his own. 

“How’ve ya been lass?” Johnny asks his infectious smile beaming on his face.

“Good, busy.” You say. “What about you two?” 

“Ah nothing much, enjoying some time off.” Johnny says his hand resting on Simon's thigh. You look at Simon he seems tense his eyes scrunched studying your face, he seems like the polar opposite of Johnny. You simile at him anyway taking another sip of your tea. 

“Plan on going anywhere with your leave?” Johnny asks.

“Maybe see a few friends, rest mostly.” You reply sighing.

“You got family?” Johnny asks raising an eyebrow. A lump forms in your throat.

“Yeah but we don’t speak much.” You reply swallowing the lump away.

“Are you a virgin?” Simon ask’s the question catching you so off guard you gasp your mouth hanging open. 

“I think what Simon is trying to ask is have you ever had a boyfriend?” Johnny says squeezing Simon's thigh. You let out a smile at Johnny his presence calming you. 

“Eh, yeah a few, never anything serious though.” You explain without going into too much detail. 

“We must seem quite unusual, but I promise we don’t make a habit of taking pretty girls out for coffee.” Johnny winks. You blush. 

“It’s fine-I mean I don’t care-if you take pretty girls out for coffee..” You blurt out trying to act like you’re totally not freaking out with these two sat in front of you. Johnny chuckles sipping his coffee. Simon hasn’t touched his, he’s leaned back in his chair arms folded. 

“How do you do it? The threesomes?” You ask, skipping straight to the point. You’ve had the last two days to imagine the scenarios Johnny and Simon must get themselves into. “If you don’t make a habit of taking girls out for coffee first?” Johnny laughs.

“We’ve only tried it twice, you’d be surprised how many dating apps there are for this stuff.” Johnny looks at Simon who looks back at him, his eyes soften as Johnny strokes his thigh. 

“Just hookups, it’s like scratching round an itch, it doesn't feel quite right.” Johnny looks at you. You tried to pick up on what that meant, you’d always been pretty vanilla in the bedroom, not inexperienced but this was new territory. 

“Why ask me?” You say nervously tapping the mug in your hand. Johnny smiles.

“Well for one you’re drop dead gorgeous love, been playing on our minds ever since the day we saw you.” You look down at the table feeling embarrassed tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. 

“Normally, when we talk about it it’s cos we have that itch that needs to be scratched. With you it’s like, there’s a full body rash and we desperately need you to itch it.” You see Simon roll his eyes at Johnny metaphor, but you get the point. Guess it’s now or never bite the bullet or turn them away. You look at them both again your eyes flicking between them, taking in a deep breath. 

“So you’re looking for a hookup?” You ask, your eyes flicking to Simon who hasn’t said a word since his last question, but his eyes have never left you. 

“No, something different…” Johnny trails off, you bring your tea up to take a sip looking back at him.

“A relationship.” Simon blurts out. You swallow your tea hard looking over at Simon. 

“But you two are married,” you say frowning, putting the cup down.    

“Happily, but we both feel like there’s something missing.” Johnny says looking at Simon who looks back at him. You’d heard about this kind of dynamic before, people in 3 way relationships, seen documentaries and YouTube videos that kind of thing. It always seemed to be 2 women and one man though. 

“It’s it illegal isn't it?” You ask quietly. Johnny chuckles.

“Only if you marry multiple people.” 

“Oh,” you don’t know why that disappointed you, they’re all ready married. You sigh looking at them not quite sure what to say next. 

“How about we cook you dinner some time? You can come to our flat, we can chill out no pressure, just getting to know each other. See how the night goes.” Johnny suggests. You find yourself smiling again.

“Sure,” you say nodding. A dinner date, one that might end in sex has your tummy doing flips excitedly, the previous nerves being washed away. 

“How about on Friday? I’ll text you the address?” Johnny asks. You nod sipping the last of your tea and check your watch.

“Sounds good.” You smile going to get up.

“Haven’t scared you away ‘ave we lass?” Johnny asks.

“No, I just-I want to get home before rush hour and I’m crammed on the tube like a sardine.” You say as you walk round the table. Johnny laughs getting up giving you a hug. You say goodbye and leaving the cafe.

… 

Later that evening after a microwave meal and a few glasses of wine to quell your nerves you get a text. 

Thanks for today xx

You smile at the kisses. 

No problem, can’t wait for Friday xx

Your belly is doing flips again, your mind wondering to the meeting today. Johnny and Simon had been on your mind for days now.    

Wear something sexy ;) xx

Holy shit that sent tingles through your body. The wine mulling you out, the thought of a skimpy dress being ripped off your body by Simon and Johnny forced its way into your head making your body shiver. 

Of course ;) xx

There let his imagination go wild.

——————————

Johnny and Simon's flat was in a very affluent part of London on the Thames, a place you had only ever been too once. You double checked the address before pressing the correct buzzer. There are a few seconds before a voice comes through.

“Who is it?” 

“It’s Ashe,” You say. 

“Ah come on up!” Johnny’s energetic voice comes through the speaker. The door buzzes and you make your way to the lift taking it up to the 6th floor. You grip the neck of he bottle of wine you bought, pulling down the bottom of your dress again. It had been almost half a year since you had dressed yourself up like this. Your heels felt especially uncomfortable, but you did promise sexy, you hoped it was enough. 

You make it to the door, your hand shaking as you ring the bell, theres no turning back now. It’s Simon who opens it, it’s the first time you have ever seen him without a mask. His hair freshly groomed, he’s stunning just like johnny, you fight to keep your jaw from dropping. You’re not sure what you were expecting but the sight of him makes you blush.  

“Wine,” you say thrusting it into his hands. He smiles taking it and stepping aside. Holy shit it’s the kind of smile that makes you weak at the knees, it’s maybe even more palpable then Johnny’s. Their flat is nice, big windows, open plan, great view of the city. You start to take your coat off when you feel Simon’s hands on your shoulder’s helping you slip it off. 

“Thanks,” you say turning to him as he hangs it on a hook. He makes his way back over to you lightly pressing his hand on the small of your back leading you down the hall. The touch sends electricity up your spine but you’re quickly distracted by the amazing smells coming out the kitchen. You look to see Johnny pushing something round in a pan, he looks at you, his mouth dips open as he leans back putting one hand on his hip taking you in. 

“Well ain’t you a sight to behold.” A wave of embarrassment falls over you and you look at your feet for a second heat rushing to your cheeks. 

“Wine?” Simon asks his hand leaving your back as he heads to a cupboard to take out glasses. 

“Yes, please,” you say a little too quickly, Johnny chuckles turning his attention back to the food. Simon pours the glasses handing one to you and placing one next to Johnny. He leans up against the sink behind Johnny who turns to see him sipping his wine. He reaches down and picks up his glass. 

“Cheers!” He says holding it up then taking a sip. You follow taking a big gulp. 

“What are you cooking?” You ask moving over to stand closer to Johnny looking at the various pots and pans working on the hob. 

“Chicken alfredo,” He says proudly putting the lid on the pan with the chicken in.

“It smells amazing,” you say, it’s true the smell has your mouth watering. 

“It’ll be done soon just need to wait on the pasta.” You nod turning your head to look at Simon still leaning against the sink. His eyes meet yours, and a small smile appears on his lips, you take another sip of your wine feeling your body relax as you smile back at Simon feeling your heart flutter. 

He seems different more relaxed when he’s in his own home, not like the big scary skull guy you’re used to seeing round the base. His eyes are soft but always alert, flicking between you and Johnny. He’s nothing like the rumours you’ve heard, you’re starting to think it’s just because he’s special forces. They do have to do some horrible stuff sometimes. You take another sip of wine, you’re not here to psychoanalyse him. 

“Need a hand with anything?” You ask, feeling like you need to do something other then standing around gawking at them. 

“Don’t be silly lass you’re a guest,” Johnny says as he pulls out a piece of pasta tasting it.  “Why don’t you go sit down with Simon, the food is pretty much done anyway.” You nod letting Simon lead you to the dining table. You take a seat as Simon sits opposite you. 

“How long you been in the Army?” He asks. 

“4 years,” You say. “What about you?” 

“I stopped keeping count.” He says as Johnny comes over with the first plate placing it in front of you.

“Thank you, it looks great.” You say watching as he places a plate in front of Simon.     

“If there’s one thing Johnny is good at it’s cooking.” Simon says as Johnny walks back into the kitchen smiling. 

“That’s why I married him.” Simon says quieter leaning over to you. You can’t help but chuckle. Johnny comes back sitting with his plate and a bottle of wine. 

“Well dig in,” he says picking up his fork. You smile following his lead twisting the pasta round your fork and almost throwing it in your mouth.

“Holy shit,” you say. “This is amazing.” Johnny laughs looking at Simon. They spend most of the meal chatting, they tell you more about their work-without going it to too many specifics. Talking about some people called Gaz and Price. Their banter puts you at ease as you listen to them, the whole thing starting to feel more and more natural. 

“What made you want to be an army nurse?” Simon asks. 

“I was an A&E nurse. I don’t know, I guess I wanted to do something different. The travel and the pay was the main incentive.” You explain, as Johnny tops up your wine glass.  “I thought I was going to quit during basic, that was a shock I wasn’t ready for.” 

“How did your family react.” Johnny asks. 

“They were upset, tried to tell me it was a bad idea. Like I said I’m not close with them.” You reach out sipping the wine. “I have a friend Chloe, we went to uni together, we both ended up in the same A&E department. She came to my pass out ceremony.” 

“She sounds like a good friend.” Johnny says smiling at you. 

“Yeah, she is.” You nod. You feel sad all of a sudden putting the wine glass down and going back to your food. You’ve missed her, you’ve already made plans to meet up with her this weekend. You’re not planning on cancelling that appointment. 

“What happened to your arm?” Johnny asks, you’re nervous all of a sudden. You don’t even realise you’ve stopped chewing the food in your mouth. You look between him and Simon. You think you can see something in Simon’s eyes. Does he know? No, how would he know? You force yourself to finish chewing the food in your mouth letting it slide down your throat taking the lump away with it.

“Shrapnel. A bomb went off in a hospital.” You say maybe a little to quickly looking back to Johnny who seems to have picked up on the tension not pushing you any further. 

“How many tours have you done?” Simon asks.

“2 humanitarian aid in Bangladesh then Senegal.” 

“Did you enjoy it?” Johnny asks. 

“Yeah. I like helping people. I like the rush of knowing you’re one of the only things keeping someone alive. Being in the army turns that up tenfold.” You say moving food around your plate. You look up at Simon, may they’ll think you’re weird. 

“You’re an adrenaline junkie.” Johnny laughs.

“Name someone in the army who isn’t. Everyone get’s off on saving someones life.” Simon says picking up his glass of wine. You smile listening to them talk as you finish the rest of your food. By the time you’re done you’re full and comfortably tipsy, Johnny insists on moving to the sofa where it’s more comfortable. You nod first excusing yourself to the bathroom. 

When you come back out Simon and Johnny are already sprawled out on the couch flicking through the TV channels. You can see a bottle of whisky on the coffee table as you make your way over. As soon as Simon sees you he moves apart from Johnny.  

“It’s okay,” You say waving him back to his spot. “I’ll sit on the end.” 

“Don’t be silly love, come sit.” Johnny says patting the spot between him and Simon. You feel bad for breaking them apart like this but then you remember the reason you’re here in the first place. Simon wouldn’t have moved so eagerly if he didn’t want you to sit between them. 

You smile walking over and sitting down leaning back on the plush sofa. Johnny extends his arm round the back encouraging you to lean against him, which you do. He smells good, whatever cologne hes using fills your nose, its earthy it suits him. 

“The food was good.” You say breathing out relaxing into his shoulder. 

“Yeah, that’s good.” He says his voice humming in your ear making you feel all warm and fuzzy inside. You watch as Simon keeps flicking through the TV till he lands on some random police chaser show, and he throws the remote on the coffee table. You watch as he too leans back on the sofa. 

“You can put your legs up if you want I don’t mind.” He says looking over at you, it was uncomfortable leaning on Johnny with your feet still on the floor. You reluctantly pull yourself from Johnny’s shoulder bending over and unclasping the strap on your heals pulling them off. You move so they have a bit more room leaning back up against Johnny with your legs on Simon’s knees.

“‘E’s never gonna make it,” Johnny says pointing at the TV as you see a birds eye view of the police chase. 

“I don’t know, he’s got some good distance now.” Simon says. 

“I bet he loses them.” You say, looking at Simon who moves his hand down to rub your leg, you smile at him in approval enjoying the feel of his hands on your body. 

“See you want to avoid the tight residential streets.” Johnny says as a matter of fact.

“Talking from experience there Johnny?” Simon says chuckling. 

“Not experience just common sense.” You chuckle looking up at him, his deep blue eyes looking back at you. 

“You okay?” He asks smiling down at you. You nod as you do his arm rests on your back pulling you closer to him. You let out a breath your arm stretching its way over Johnny’s stomach. 

“Have you done this before? With other women?” You ask. Shit, why did that come out now, it’s a total mood killer. And you were enjoying yourself, your body tenses as you grip Johnny’s shirt. Johnny chuckles of course he does his hand squeezes your arm.

“No lass, we weren’t exactly on the look out for women.” Johnny’s smile put your mind at ease. 

“We knew you were special.” He murmurs, squeezing your arm again. You look over at Simon still stroking your leg. He smiles, reaching over with his free arm and squeezes Johnny’s hand. You look back over at the TV, they’ve caught the guy.

——————————

 When the show ends Johnny gets up to clear the table, flat out refusing your offers to help insisting you stay on the couch with Simon. You sit up yawning looking down at your watch. Shit, it’s almost 10pm. If you stay any longer you’re going to end up having to walk home instead, you nervously tap your foot at the thought of walking across London at night. 

“You alright?” Simon asks placing his hand on your thigh you stop tapping your foot.  

“Yeah, just I didn’t realise how late is was.” You say smiling. 

“Do you need to get home?” He asks. You look at him, you don’t want to leave this is nice, but it would be rude to stay the night. You find yourself biting your lip trying to think of what the best solution would be. 

“You can stay the night, we have a spare room it’s no bother.” Simon says. 

“You’ve already been so accommodating I couldn’t-”

“It’s not a problem.” He cuts you off, his voice laced with authority, you almost want to bark back yes sir. Instead you nod smiling at him. He moves his hand from your thigh reaching over for the bottle of whisky.

“Want one?” He asks. 

“Sure,” you smile at him as he leans forward pouring the drink in the glasses. You pick it up trying to remember the last time you had had a whisky neat. 

“Cheers, to new things.” He says, you clink your glass with his and drink. It burns your throat as it goes down and you can’t help coughing, it’s stronger then you remember, or maybe it’s the fact it’s not mixed with coke. Simon chuckles taking the glass out your and hand placing it on the table. Johnny comes back into the living room with a bottle of wine and a hand full of glasses.

“Breaking out the scotch already?” He says. 

“Tastes like wood,” You cough again the taste coming back. 

“Probably why Si likes it so much,” Johnny winks sitting down next to you and pouring you a glass of wine you gladly accept to get rid of the taste of whisky. 

“She’s gonna be staying the night Johnny.” Simon says as a matter of fact. You look over at Johnny to see his response. 

“No complaints from me.” He beams sipping on his wine. You place your glass back on the table leaning back on the couch. You feel Simon’s arm pull you onto his chest this time, you put your legs on Johnny’s thighs without thinking about it. Feeling his warm hands stroke your leg. 

Simon plants his chin on the top of your head as you stretch your arm over his stomach. He’s bigger then Johnny, his shoulders broader you relax into him just like you did before. Okay maybe you could get used to this, Simon’s hand rests on your side rubbing your arm. 

“Can I hold your hand?” He asks after a few seconds. You don’t say anything but move to loop your fingers with his. It feels natural his hand being in yours. You look over at Johnny, he smiles at you squeezing your leg. Then your stomach drops, you squeeze Simon's hand sitting up. 

“I don’t have any pyjamas, or a tooth brush.” You look between, Simon and Johnny, suddenly aware of how uncomfortable your dress was feeling. 

“Don’t worry ‘bout it, you can borrow one of my tops.” Johnny says winking at you. 

“Or mine, and we have a spare toothbrush I’m sure.” Simon says pulling you back onto his chest. You look back at the TV as Simon and Johnny get back to guessing how this police chase is going to end. You find yourself rubbing Simon’s thumb as you relax even more. Okay you could defiantly get used to this. 

It feels nice having Simon’s hand in yours, your thumb stroking his as he continues to watch the TV with Johnny. You’re pretending to pay attention too but the fact that you’re now staying the night had your mind racing. You spent the last week fantasising all sorts of different situations, hell you even chose the dress on purpose, so it would be easy to rip off if said fantasy was to come true. 

Your head cranes to look up at Simon, his eyes look darker in the low light of the living room. He looks down smiling and squeezing your hand. There’s an ache in your belly something deep, you want to kiss him. You look away blushing. You look over at Johnny sipping his glass of wine, his hand on your leg. God you want to kiss him too. 

Simon Squeezes your hand again and you look up at him. His eyes are scrunched together, giving you a worried look. Shit, you don’t want them to think you’re not enjoying this. You let go of Simon’s hand pulling yourself up and sitting on your knees. Simon and Johnny both turn their attention to you. 

“I want to kiss you,” You say flicking your eyes between them both. “But like how does it work? I can’t kiss you both at the same time.” You let out an awkward laugh reaching for your glass of wine taking a sip to calm your nerves. Johnny lets out one of his chuckles sitting up, you look at Simon still laid back on the sofa smiling.

“Love, if you want to kiss one of us you just have to ask.” Johnny says. 

“Okay but what if one of you get’s jealous, wouldn’t it be fair to just kiss you both?” This time it’s Simon who lets out a little chuckle. You look at Johnny. 

“Would you be jealous if I kissed Simon right now?” He asks, you shake your head. “It would be kind of hot though.” You blurt out before you realise what you said, slapping your hand to cover your mouth. The alcohol has really loosened you up. Johnny and Simon laugh, Simon sits up his hand resting on your shoulder. You feel yourself blushing. 

“Don’t worry, I also find it hot when Johnny kisses me.” Simon says in your ear. You relax a little feeling his breath on your bare shoulder sending shivers down your spine. Johnny takes your hand in his. You turn to look at him. 

“You do whatever your comfortable with. Unless you want to set boundaries?” Johnny asks. You think for a second, what kind of boundaries? Like sexual ones? You’ve not really experimented with much other then some pretty normal vanilla sex. That ache comes back in your belly when you think about all the things you would be willing to try. 

“I’m pretty open, I mean, tonight has been really great, the best I’ve felt in years. I just don’t want to ruin things I guess.” Simon squeezes your shoulder. 

“We invited you here to relax, get to know each other. If anything happens that’s fine just as much as if nothing happens. You pick the pace, we’re patient people.” Simon says. Now they’re being too kind. Most guys would expect you to put out of they’d gone to all this effort, Simon and Johnny seem content with just sitting here and watching TV, cuddling till you all fall asleep. You take another sip of wine putting the glass back on the table. 

“I would like to get out of this dress.” You say looking at Johnny. Simon gets up his hand leaving your shoulder.

“C’mon, lets see what we can find you.” You get off the couch bending down to pick up your shoes and follow him into the bedroom. Simon starts opening drawers rummaging through till he hands you a few t-shirts and PJ bottoms. 

“I only need one.” You say as he closes the drawer.

“Now you have options.” He says smiling and leading you to the guest bedroom. He leaves and you close the door so you can change. You look round the bare room, there’s storage boxes round the place and uniforms hung up on the wardrobe doors. Your curiosity gets the better of you and you run your hands over the badges. So it’s true they are SAS. 

You throw the clothes down on the bed choosing a t-shirt that is way to big for you and some bottoms that barely fit. You fold your clothes up neatly, hiding your bra under the dress. You take a deep breath tying the string on the ajustable bottoms so they won’t fall down when you walk. You decide to leave your phone in the room, you can always check it later. You open it to see a message from Chloe. 

Still good for Saturday? xxx   Yep, just wait till you hear the news I have for you xxx

You don’t expect a reply back, she’s probably working. You’ve missed her you can’t wait to see here again. She’s going to have a field day when she hears about your situation. You smile and turn to head out the room.

next

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[shanastoryteller]

tony gets kidnapped on his way to a business meeting or something and he goes with it because they’re in a pretty crowded area and he doesn’t want some innocent bystanders getting hurt in the scuffle. the team will notice eventually and his overprotective boyfriend captain american is going to 1. notice very quickly and 2. freak the fuck out, so he’s not really risking much here

also these kidnappers are sort of stupid and he’s not really worried about escaping later. except even though they’re stupid they mention things about the avengers and shield that they really shouldn’t know so tony decides to stick around to see if he can figure out if they lucked into hacking past his security (not likely) or if there’s some sort of mole

except the leader and the underlings get in an argument right in front of him because apparently they were supposed to capture captain america, not iron man, and the guy who grabbed him is like no, no, this is better! we have his boyfriend so we can lure him here instead!

meanwhile tony is just stating in disbelief that these idiots manage to string two thoughts together. there has to be mole. or someone else really in charge. or something.

and the leader is like fine whatever. he takes tony’s phone and opens the contacts and snorts, “this is what you have him saved us? pathetic”

tony looks at the contact labeled <3 <3 love of my life light in the dark wind beneath my wings <3 <3 and is sort of glad he’s gagged so he can’t say anything

he still doesn’t really know what’s going on and jarvis is still trying to hack their system an there’s no harm in sticking around a little longer since these people are. you know. idiots

except approximately fifteen minues later rhodey is busting down the wall and taking out all these guys in thirty seconds flat and tony slips out of the ropes that he’d undone about five minutes after being put into them (thanks nat) and pulls down the gag and says, “i thought you were on radio silence on a mission in ghana”

“i thought you could be trusted on your own, so it looks like we’re both wrong,” rhodey says. “what were you playing at?”

“i would have told you not to come if i’d known you’d get the message,” he protests. “i was working an angle here, okay, jarvis are you into their systems yet?”

“yes,” his trusty ai says from his phone from one of the kidnapper’s pockets. “tracing the origin of their financial backer now.”

“you really didn’t have to stay kidnapped for jarvis to do that,” rhodey points out, brushing him off and checking him for injuries.

tony shrugs. “i didn’t want to risk one of them getting away and tipping them off. take care of them i could. do it before they got a signal out without the suit? maybe not.”

this very reasonable discussion is interrupted by the rest of the avengers coming in swinging and then left blinking except for steve who feels the need to fuss over him while tony whines and complains and pretends he doesn’t love it

he says they were after steve anyway, he was just bait and steve frowns and is like well, why didn’t they try and contact me then? we knew something was wrong because of the stark industries security footage

and natasha, the sneak, has picked tony’s phone from the kidnapper’s pocket. he lunges for it but she skips back from him and says, “well it looks like they tried. they just messaged the wrong person”

steve takes the phone and sees the contact name and that the kidnappers sent the message we have your boyfriend and if you don’t do exactly what we say you’ll never see him again and is like. this is what rhodey is saved as in your phone?? what am i??

“look, the things is, it’s not like i actually use anyone’s contact, or look at it, i just tell jarvis who to call, so you really shouldn’t take this personally,” tony says.

steve types in his own number and stares in disbelief. “captain? i’m saved in your phone as CAPTAIN?”

“okay well when you gave me your number we weren’t dating and also you were being very mean to me at the time, so,” he says, resisting the urge to hide behind rhodey because he doesn’t think that will help

steve turns his gaze to rhodey. “what is tony saved as in your phone?”

“i really don’t think that’s relevant,” he answers, looking back at the hole in the wall like he’s considering flying out of it.

“jarvis, what’s tony saved as in rhodey’s contacts?” steve asks.

tony says, “j, don’t-“

“sir is saved in colonel rhodes’s contacts as baby,” jarvis answers.

clint is laughing so hard he’s going to break a rib. natasha raises an eyebrow, which is about the same thing

steve’s face is pure betrayal

“it’s because he’s an infant,” rhodey says, “and very needy and he throws up on me a lot.”

“hey!” tony scowls. “i haven’t done that in years!”

“and when you were texted about your boyfriend being kidnapped, you just knew it was tony?” steve asks.

rhodey shrugs. “well, who else would it be?”

even steve doesn’t have an answer to that

“it’s purely platonic,” tony says reassuringly, “carol would scratch my eyes out.”

steve scowls and sulks until tony changes his contact name

except now he’s in tony’s phone as captain handsome. he tells himself it’s an upgrade

[thatoneguydownthestreet]

Howdy! I was wondering what the twst guys would do if apocalypse mc came to twisted wonderland with a rifle and handgun? Like rook learning they can be used for hunting or lilias reaction to the weapons of war from their world

You don’t have to write this! I’ve just been brainrotting about this 😮‍💨

Anyway thanks for your time!💕💕

I really need to add a character limit to this.

I'm doing one from the first 5 dorms and if you want more characters I'll get to them once requested open again.

FEM ALIGNED DNI

Yuu pronouns are he/him

Characters: Ace (technicallyduece too ig), ruggie, jade, kalim, and rook

Warnings: Dueces slight suicidal ideation, ruggies lowkey nihilism, you kill a monster in Jades part, slight body horror in Kalims part, not proof read

________________________________

Ace:

Ace was pissed. Why? Because he was fucking stupid.

He was stupid. Duece was stupid. And that weird kids with the weird mask and the fucking fire monster was fucking stupid.

Because someone thought it would be a great idea to run away from their clean up duty (Grim (ace quietly chose to ignore that he had tried to do the same thing first)) by hiding in a chandelier was a good idea, and someone else thought hurling him into said chandelier with questionable at best magic was an even better idea.

So now ace trappola was running for his life in a crystal mine, with only the same people who got him into this situation in the first place here with him.

These feelings only seemed to be amplified after duece decided that the crystals were worth more than his life! Also it didn't exactly help that he had seen the magicless guy almost get impaled with one of the oversized pickaxes that...that thing was swinging around.

"My....m.y..Give me back..my. STONES"

The adrenaline rushed through aces body like a wave, it's only purpose being to make sure he survives dammit! He doesn't even care if he gets expelled anymore. His brother has told him enough stories about NRC to write a novel. Ace had come here with a picture already painted in his head and this was not it.

He made a sharp turn left. They had walked down this tunnel on their way in right?

He saw a little light poke out just around the next turn.

Yeah, they had come through this way.

Ace heard a small yelp and the sound of dirt being scattered and a small thud of someone hitting the ground.

He didn't look back. He just kept running.

He kept running until he came across the small cottage that they'd gone into earlier. Duece stumbled in right after him. The masked boy and the fire cat-weasle thing on his shoulders.

The guy was covered in dirt. He's probably the one that fell.

Ace was bent over, panting like he had just ran for his life, probably because he did, but he's pretty sure he heard duece half gently set the kid, whose name he still didn't really know, down before he joined ace in his desperate attempt to catch his breath.

Ace closed his eyes. What the hell is happening right now? Why was he here? Why did he have to go tease that weird magicless freak this morning and pick a fight with their freaky cat?

You know what? Fuck this. If he gets expelled, so be it. There are plenty of other magic schools, including ones closer to home. He'll be just fine.

Duece however, didn't seem to get the memo.

"It was right there...we have to go back!", duece had so much determination in his voice...

Ace felt his eye twitch. "Like hell we do!"

Duece snapped his head towards him, and the mystery bro was still sitting on the floor, now cradling grim like he was an actual cat.

"Yeah, no. Sorry, but that crystal ain't worth it"

"So...so you're just gonna take the expulsion lying down? Just like that!? What are you, some kind of coward!?", duces voice got progressively more angry, which ace thought was bullshit.

He thought he was being perfectly reasonable with his choices, thank you very much.

"Uhhh. Yeah! Sorry not sorry, I choose life!"

I mean sure, his brother is gonna look at him all disappointed and shit, but hey, at least he'd be alive to see it.

Ace looked back at Mr. Mask-Man, who was still quietly petting grim, acting like they weren't even there.

It kind of pissed him off a little.

"Hey", he looked up, Ace count see their eyes, but somehow he knew they weren't making eye contact "do you have any better ideas? Or are you just gonna sit there the while time and not do anything?"

Was he being unfair? Probably. This guy (he should really ask for his name) wasn't even supposed the be in night Raven college, not to mention here? And he probably didn't want to be here any more than he did.

Did he care about that though? No. Not right now anyway.

Ace expected him to just put his head back down and go back to petting his freaky weasel. He expected them to just shrink up on themselves while ace went back to yelling at duece.

He did expect the guys head to perk up the smallest bit, he didn't expect the sudden feeling of very intense eye contact either.

And he definitely didn't expect him the nod and stand up so fast ace almost stumbled back.

But you know what the absolute last thing he expected from this guy? Going back to the mines.

Going back to the mines and waiting with duece for grim and the masked guy to come hauling ass back up the hill with the ...inky monster in tow. Because that's what's going to happen. Apparently.

...fuck. This guy was some type of maniac wasn't he?

Ace just glared at the ground. There wasn't anything he could do about it now, but he was still gonna be pissed if he died with a possible psychopath currently running towards him, and this blue gumball son of a bitch standing next to him.

"Bring me....my...stooones!"

He took a deep breath, possibly one of his lasts.

But I mean hey, might as well go out with a bang right?

The next few minutes all seemed to happen in slow motion, and somehow ace could already see the moment when the reality of all this would all hit him. At 3 am or something like that. Probably.

...yeah. 3 am.

"Ace watch out!", a panicked, exhausted voice called out to him. Probably duece.

His head snapped over to where his dormmate was. What's happening?

The answer seemed pretty damn obvious, when a large shadow seemed to swallow him whole, a product of the monsters looming stature.

Ace froze. Seeing his life start to flash before his eyes. Memory after memory replaying in his mind.

You never really know how little you've lived until you see it all right in front of you...

BAM.

Aces eyes shot open (when had he closed them?) To see Mr. Mask standing just roughly six meters away from him, holding a...

...uh....what the hell was that?

BAM. BAM. BAM.

The loud noises rang out one by one. One right after the other.

Ace booked it to the side, trying to catch his breath.

Only for it to get caught again once he looked up.

The creatures head, the glass ink jar, was leaking. It had six small holes in it, and cracks spiderwebbing out from said holes. As the cracks grew larger, the glass began to break off, and more and more ink began to pour out.

"Duece!"

Aces eyes snapped to their third member, who responded immediately with another cauldron.

The head finally shattered. And the monster disappeared.

Slowly, aces gaze fell on the Ramshakle resident once again. Blinking slowly as he watched the guy put the...loud..thing away, before picking up grim once again.

Ace opened his mouth, and before he could even begin to realize what he was doing, he asked, "what was that?"

You called it a gun.

Ruggie:

Listen. Ruggie wasn't new to violence. You can't live in the slums all your life and make it out completely sheltered, no matter how hard your parents try.

And sure. Ruggie wasn't exactly a saint himself, But at this point, was anyone? He certainly didn't think so.

Yeah. Almost getting killed by leona fucked him up a little. But really, it wasn't that new when he really thought about it.

And yeah, leona never really apologized to him for all that, but at times like that, in an environment like savanaclaw? He didn't need to. His actions, no matter how small they were, still spoke for themselves.

So yeah. Ruggie bucchi has a lot of experience with violence.

But if you were to ask ruggie if he's ever seen anything like this before? Yeah. He'd have to answer no.

Everything was going shit. They were following the plan, he did his part flawlessly might he add, and then Azul decided he didn't want to follow the script. So now he was surround by black ink, panicking students, and slightly less panicking... allies? Allies.

But yeah. This sucked.

And so began the fight for his life once again. Honestly, this shit was getting old.

Whipping his head in every which way to look or for flying debris and tentacles (and wasn't that a sentence), and keeping his ears open for shouted commands and warnings, his attention landed on you for half a second, before quickly turning away; In that half second he saw you pull something out from jacket pocket.

About five seconds later, he heard a loud bang.

And not like when the construction workers accidentally drop a metal beam on concrete or something. No, this was just a loud, earth shattering bang that demanded attention. And attention it got.

Several heads snapped to you, holding a...uhhh. You tilted your head to the side, either in confusion or trying to get an angle on Azul.

BANG BANG

And then there was a scream, distorted and pained, with a faint sound of gushing and sloshing, a liquid being spilled. Ink being spilled out of the overblot phantoms head.

"Huh...the other one just died immediately..", he heard you mutter.

Ruggie shot a pointed look over to leona, who just looked at him in confusion. Ok. So he didn't miss anything during his housewardens little episode. He took a quick glance at the heartslabyul duo, who looked like they understood. Well, Ace understood. Duece wasn't close enough to hear and didn't have the hearing to pick up the slack.

Ok. So maybe yuu also decided to whip the thing out when riddle when crazy? He'll ask around later. Probably.

A tentacle slammed right next to him and started writhing around with another loud scream as the phantom lost more and more ink, and Ruggie remembered where they were.

The damage you did the overbloted octopus wasn't enough to downright defeat him, but it was enough to at least make the rest of the way a hell of a lot easier. So they're odds were looking much better than they were. Small mercies.

When everything eventually came to a head and the ink was beginning to melt off of Azul and he could finally breathe, he let his mind drift back to you.

Ok. What the hell. What was that? Why did it make that noise? What did it even do? How'd it shatter thick ass, magic glass? Did it launch blades at it or something? Also, why are you pretending like this whole thing was completely normal?

You weren't freaking out about this, you honestly seemed more focused on combing the gunk out of Azuls hair with your gloved fingers while the twins tried to asses his mental state, grim flopping on the ground off to your side. Now, this is probably your third, or maybe even fourth time you've been in this situation. But perfect, you treating it like it's just another Tuesday isn't exactly. Uh. Normal?

Not that you were normal, you had just began taking regular baths, which he was immensely grateful for. Seriously, he could only hold back leonas hair as he puked so many times before it got old. But even your (lack of) personality raised a few questions. Sometimes he wondered if you where really even there half the time.

After he caught his breath, he began to walk over to where you were, Ace and duece now scolding you and jade trying to check if you were hurt or not, and holy shit that is a big ass gash.

But he was already standing right behind you, so he honestly might as well ask.

"Hey. So uh. What did you do? What made the bangs?"

Your head snapped in his direction, pausing to just stare at him for a few unnerving seconds.

And then you pulled something out and called it a gun.

Jade:

Jade didn't really question why you wanted to join his club, he was just glad someone did. Even if that someone was a fucking weirdo like yourself.

Listen, jade wasn't picky when it came to his clubmembers ok?

Plus, aside from a few conversations about a bird or plant species you liked, and many more questions about basic things that you had apparently never seen before, and him acting like he knew any better than you about it, things went smoothly.

He collected his mushrooms and occasionally stopped to do a fieldsketch and you rolled around in moss and somehow became an instant bird whisperer. It was a good system.

About as good as it could be while you were running from a big ass monster.

Ok. Listen. He knew that there were monsters on this particular mountain, and he knew that some of them were man eaters. But dammit he did the research before hand! He made sure the two of you avoided their natural habitats at all cost! But apparently, this particular one could smell human blood much better than the rest, and apparently, you thought it was a good idea to not tell him you had cut yourself on a rock and were now bleeding.

"There's a cave right there!", he saw you point to an opening in a rock wall that was most definitely the small least cave he'd ever seen "do you think we could hide in it for a minute"

"I don't know!", you didn't really have any other options, running forever until you reached the place where the mirror had dropped you both off was more than inconvenient, especially on a mountain that had more steep cliffs than average. So he quickly signaled to you and began running towards it, awkwardly running into the small hole and barely seeing you baseball slide your way into there with much more ease.

Desperately trying to catch his breath, he started to plan. You only had a few minutes at best before the monster caught up to you, so the best thing they could do with the time they had was treat your wound to the best of his ability, and hope that the smell of blood would gradually fade and the beast would be thrown off your trails.

Click

He looked to you, hunched over and sill slightly panting as you loaded small, but long pointed metal cylinders into...something?

You had stopped wearing the mask, being one of the few people you trusted enough to see your face, which was sweet if he thought about, you were even getting better to look at! Looking a lot less like you had come back from the dead after the apocalypse and more like a recovering drug addict, but hey! Progress!

But he point is, he could see your face, and the look on your eyes, and...

Ah shit.

Perfect. Listen perfect, he knows you're batshit crazy, he is too, but please, you're going to get them killed. Even with your insane amount of luck, your half baked plans only work most of the time so for the love of the sea witch please just-

"I have an idea"

...Dammit.

So that's how you both got here, kneeling just barely out of the cave opening, and him standing on the Rocky formation right above you outside the cave. Waiting for the monster, and possi ly for death. If he survives this the first things he'd doing when he gets back to his dorm room is write his will so that he can make sure his precious mushrooms aren't thrown away by his brother. Would riddle accept them?

"Jade!"

He blinked, got his magic pen ready, and you cocked your gun. Staring at the place where the sound of heavy footsteps and snarls were coming from.

You both waited with baited breath as themonsters form came running up the steep hill and charged towards the two of you.

The sensation of water and earth magics filled the air as spell after spell was released, hitting the creature a good majority of the time. Meanwhile, you were shifting slightly, getting into a position that didn't look the most comfortable, but apparently it worked for you because you quickly gave him a small warning shout.

Jade covered his ears. You had warned him about the sound guns make, and how many people went deaf fro them due to lack of proper equipment and training, you sounded like you were repeating a quote that was all but drilled into you, a saying that everyone knows but never really says out loud. Did he belive you were exaggerating? Slightly.

That went away when he heard the loud boom though, even through his covered ears. Jade grew slightly concerned at the fact that you didnt seem to be too affected by all this.

You didn't seem too surprised at the loud noise. Just angling and adjusting the gun position until you could hit your target more accurately as it moved.

He heard ten shots go off. Out of those ten, at least seven actually hit. The monster, being as huge as it was, was about to ignore the first three. The rest, however, were clearly starting to take a toll on the thing.

He saw you pull the trigger a few more times, nothing more than assumed clicks coming out. Jade couldn't be too sure, as the pained roars of the monster completely drowned out the sound. Wordlessly, he got took his hands away from his ears and readied his magic. Letting it burst all around him and borage the monster as soon as your hand shot up into the air. The signal that you needed to reload and he had to momentarily take over.

The whole event took about fifteen minutes that felt like they were stretched into hours. Ending with him feeling a bit lightheaded, and you firing three extra shots into what he was pretty sure was a monstrous corpse. "Just in case".

Wanting to sit down and take a moment to collect himself was only just outweighed by the urge to make sure you were alright. So, jade jumped down from his little rock podium; he reached the ground just as you completely crawled out of the cave entrance.

Gently, he asked, "are you alright perfect?". A perfectly appropriate question to ask after...that.

To which you, in reply, completely flop down on the rough ground and let out a loud groan, both of you pretending that there wasn't a dead, three-metter tall monster right next to you.

An equally appropriate response.

"Four magazines jade! Four! I'm going to have to make soany bullets now!", jade only nodded, like how you do when he starts ranting about his beloved mushrooms.

Oh well, he'd understand soon enough. He has plenty of questions regarding you and you gun for the walk back to the mirror location.

Kalim:

Kalim felt like was caving in on him.

This was all happening so fast, way too fast. The one person that he thought he could trust whole heartedly, the boy he saw as nothing less than a brother, had done all this.

It was a lot to take in. Everything from his supposed verdict of keeping his dorm members in school, to yuu and grims vague comments, comments that he now recognizes for the warnings they were, to the guys from octavinnle, jamil overblotting, getting flung to the dessert, and now to be back here? Fighting for not only his, but his best friends (were they though?) Life?

Kalim just wanted to cry. The drop the the floor and cry. But he'd already done that and there was no time to do it again now. Not when he could see the ink and the snakes sucking out more and more of jamils life, when he could see jamils body begin the break down and contort in ways that shouldn't be possible. Not when his eyes grew more deranged with every second.

No, Kailm couldn't cry now. Not when Jamil was dying.

Magic attacks meeting the emotions of dread and rage that jamil had kept professionally buried only served made the air more tense. Yuu occasionally shouted directions from he sidelines, directions to use fire magic instead of water, or to dodge an incoming attack that very well could have killed him if it made contact.

And that just raises the question. Did jamil..? Was it his intention to kill him? Was that his goal the entire time?

....No. No, if Jamil wanted Kailm dead, then Kailm would be dead. He didn't want Kailm gone he just wanted him to go away. And for that reason, Kailm had the hope that he needed that he could fix this. And by the seven he'll cling to it for as long as he lives if that's what it takes.

"Perfect!", Jades sharp voice took Kailm right out of his thoughts.

"Yeah? Kailm move to the right!", he moved to the right, just in time for a borage of ink and thron covered vines to come crashing into the exact spot he was standing not even five seconds prior. The vines writhing around like they were alive, and he could see the sharp, jagged edges of its thorns cut into its self with the ease of cutting through soft butter. Not that he would know. "What do you need?"

"Do you have your gun?", Jade svoice was deathly calm, which was a bit jarring all things considered.

He didn't know what a "gun" was, but he guesses floyd knew, because he groaned louder than some of his youngest siblings when they had to get up early.

From out the corner of his eye, he saw you stop for a few seconds. Then you answered.

"Yeah", something in your voice that he couldn't quite read. "Yeah, but I only have like five shots"

Both jade and azul looked less than pleased with that, and Kailm still didn't know what was going on, so he just threw more fire at his friend.

"Well then. You better make them count", azuls matter of fact voice rang out.

He didn't see if you nodded or not. And for the next minute, he didn't hear you at all. There were no more instructions being shouted or anything like that. Just the continued onslaught of four peoples magic, all trying desperately to snap Jamil out of his current state. Who was being bent into more and more inhuman shapes as the seconds passed.

His jaw was opening a little too wide as he laughed, his fingers seemed to be getting longer and more claw like, and his voice was so now so distorted that he could barely even understand what he was saying.

But what freaked him out the most what the loud cracking and crunches of bones breaking. Jamils spine now seemed too long, bent in an unnatural way, accompanied by a crack everytime he moved. He only laughed.

Kalim didn't laugh. There was ink running down his body, all from where he had been contorted. And as time crawled on, his eyes grew more and more crazed, and his distorted laughs turned more like screams.

Kalim wasn't the best at magic, he had never been the best at magic, he knew that, even before now. So when he felt himself become light headed as his energy and magic supply ran low, he started to panic.

Oh no. Oh sevens, oh no. Please no. Not now. Anytime but now. He couldn't lose now. What would happen to jamil? How would he get Jamil home after this?

How was he supposed to tell Jamils family that their son and brother was dead?

BANG

A distorted scream ran out as floyd began to cheer, and his stomach dropped.

BANG BANG BANG

More screams. Blood curdling screams that froze Kalim where he stood. Watching jamils face begin the crack, ink pouring through the cracks on his face like blood as his eyes rolled back and his entire expression turned to one of pain. A perfect mirror to the shattering phantom that loomed behind him.

"I have one shot left and I am not wasting it! Aim for the cracks! Use fire! It'll weaken the glass!", your voice rang out, carrying a determination with it, but also the reality that they were in no way out of the woods yet.

"You mean the magic glass?", azul was skeptical

"Its magic fire", Kailm could hear the shrug in your voice.

Kalim is ashamed to admit it. But he wasn't much help after this. Jamils vpice had random breaks from the distortion. So he had a perfect audio of jamil screaming his vocal cords raw in his actual voice. Something that would haunt him until the day he died.

Ink was still pouring out from his wounds. Bones were still breaking. And it almost looked like Jamils body was melting off of him in a grotesque manner.

Kalim closed his eyes and prayed.

Eventual, the distortion completely went away, so the screams and the sobs seemed less monstrous and more tortured. Jamils attacks completely stopped as well.

And with one final bang, so did yours.

When Kalim opened his eyes again, I was only after jade prayed his hands off his ears, something he doesn't even remember doing.

Azul and yuu were standing over jamils blood covered body, and for a second, he feared the worst.

It was only after you kneeled to check if he was still alive, and he saw Jamil moving did he allow himself to breathe, and to finally cry.

Through blurred vision, he saw you put the gun away. He never asked what it was. He didn't need to know. You saved Jamils life with it, and that was good enough for him.

Rook:

Rook enjoyed beanfeast. Honestly, he could say it was one of his favorite days of the year. What other time? What other opportunities would he get but this? To hunt his fellow classmates for sport like this? To see their determination wither away as they accepted their fates as his prey!

Now, normally rook would go solo on this. Others found it a bit hard to keep up with him until now. Until yuu.

Ah his dear little trickster and his admirable kill or be killed mentality that he had taken up as of late! My, when rook had looked into his eyes, he saw nothing less than the eyes of a killer! A tiger on the hunt!

Or perhaps, he mused, a lion. Because there, right underneath them, was leona kingscholar himself.

Yuu has proposed they move from above, to stay in the wooded area and maintain the high grounds. Yuu had made his way up a tree with the swiftness and elegance of a bird taking flight! Walking steadily along the branches like he was simply made for it.

Together, the two of you had taken out quite a few farmers. With rook silently stalking them and you communicating your predictions with hand signals that he could understand blind. Those predictions of what the farmers would do, or even who would be in the area were proven true to an uncanny extent.

Rook wanted to know how, but that conversation could be saved for a different day.

Rook could barely see you chest rising up and down as you breathed so slowly you might as well haven't have been. He himself was holding his breath as you both angled your bean blasters. The slightest noise could tip the beastman off, after all.

You had temporarily split off to different trees, him being about a dozen meters away from you, just to the left of Leona, while we're were to the right.

He saw you hand slowly raise up, carefully avoiding the rustling leaves as you gave another hand signal. Thos one being significantly more simple than the majority. Just three fingers raised to indicate three seconds. Three seconds and you both shoot. You closed you hand, starting the timer.

Three.

The two of you, perfectly in sync, found your final aims of the beastman.

Two.

You carefully placed your fingers on the trigger. Taking caution not to shoot too early. The last thing would want to do was ruin this seemingly special moment for the two of you.

The wind blew in you direction. Thre leaves began to rustle, and leonas head shot in your direction.

Three.

You both pulled your triggered in perfect harmony, and, like a beautiful dance coming to an end, the mighty lion had fallen. And you both ran across the tree branches, making your ways to eachother as soon as possible.

The happy, adrenaline filled giggle you let out when he finally found found you again was nothing less than precious. Not to mention it fit the moment. Oh how he wishes you would stop trying to compose yourself all the time! The world deserves to see your joy!

He let out a laugh of his own, being rewarded with a smile that you couldn't help. This imagine of you in perfect juxtaposition with how you looked upon first arrival to this world.

And, if he may, rook would like to say that your face was shaping up to be something he wouldn't mind staring at. Ah, recovery was a marvelous thing indeed! He couldn't wait to see your progress by the end if the year.

When the laughter subsided, you took you hand and laid a gentle kiss to the back of your fingers, as a small congregation and a job well done.

"Yes, very nice monsieur. That was very nice indeed", his soft voice suddenly taking on a more mischievous note to it, a not that you matched with those shinning eyes of yours. "Now, I belive we have more game to secure, yes? Let us be off, my dear trickster"

You smiled, the corners of your mouth moving into a smirk. Your eyes, however, he'll the glee of a giddy boy, finally getting to experience something he was robbed of long ago. Rook only hoped that much later in your life, when you think of how many shots you've ever fired, this day will be included.

So smile, dear trickster, that all he asks. That's all you deserve.

________________________________

YALL I AM SO SORRY."I'm working on requests" fucks off your 5 more months omg what am I on. Eat your food, yall gotta be starving rn shit I am a terrible father.

[moriartyluver]

Can we get vampire william james moriarty x reader?🙏🏻

A/N: vampire liam is so 🛐 would let him suck my blood. Anyways, in honour of Halloween 🤭

Character(s): William James Moriarty x gn! reader

Prompt: Vampire William James Moriarty

Format: headcannons

Genre: miscellaneous/ mildly spicy

Warnings: blood, vampires, reader’s gender isn’t specified, mildly nsfw but it’s mostly me being silly. Vampires can see sunlight it just makes them feel a bit faint. Also they’re allergic to garlic but it doesn’t kill them for the sake of the fic

This man is so fine no matter what but as a vampire???? 🤭

When you first met, he wasn’t like Edward from twilight and trying not to devour you or something but you did attract his attention and smelt nice to him.

He was more attracted to your personality though, not so much the scent of your blood. Don’t get me wrong though, he’d love a bite but he’s a respectful gentleman and wouldn’t say that aloud.

He might keep an eye on your for a bit before you start courting, as a bat. You’d see this silly little bat appearing on your windowsill every night after your first meeting and all it does it watch you. Sometimes he watches you as you sleep considering vampires are a little nocturnal. I mean, he doesn’t sleep much anyways, vampire or not. And when a pretty girl is added to the equation? Yeah no chance.

He definitely has a very vampy appearance, but you don’t think much of it first, when you bump into the handsome stranger at a ball. He asks you to dance, so hesitant you might’ve assumed he was shy.

Dark red eyes and sharp teeth? Aswell as a very chiselled and slim face? Nah, just hot. Nothing to see here.

Obviously he charms you quickly, but before he can even bring up marriage (because that’s what you did back then when a girl was attractive. You asked to marry her after meeting her three times) , he doesn’t know whether to tell you the truth about his situation.

When he does, you don’t exactly care too much. Is it even a flaw at this point? Regardless, you still love him because it’s William fucking Moriarty, who wouldn’t?

Anyways, when you are in a relationship, whether it be betrothed or married, he tried to force a distance between the two of you, out of fear he may lose control and kill you

If he wants your blood, he won’t ask and try to survive off animals, but honestly, if you matched his freak, you might just offer your neck up.

It takes some convincing but he eventually gives in to his impulses and sucks a decent amount of blood out of your neck (wow that’s hot)

I feel like he’d be afraid of what would happen to him after you die. He’s immortal, and you aren’t. You might offer to change, but he doesn’t want to curse you with becoming a vampire.

I can imagine a sort of meeting in every life thing, with Liam. Like as if you keep getting reincarnated, he finds you every time, and then you eventually die.

He might decide to be selfish and let you be immortal with him, after all those times of having to watch you die whilst he continues to love you. It’s more worth it in his eyes to make you suffer with him than continue to watch you suffer for the rest of eternity. That’s when he finally turns you into a vampire. And you never get bored of him.

[allurilove]

How would the yanderes react if Reader wanted to keep or take the baby? And it depends on whether the pregnancy was planned or not.

If the baby was planned, they would be happy to learn that their partner was pregnant! If it wasn’t, there are some hesitations, and full on rejections too. But, some would just accept it right away regardless of whether they wanted it or not.

We all know yandere husband and prince doesn’t give a fuck if it was planned or an accident, they’ll be happy either way. Dumb yandere would also be happy, but it’s probably not wise to get impregnated by this man.

Here are some people who wouldn’t exactly be happy if the pregnancy wasn’t planned. And as a little bonus, I also added how many kids they would like to have!

Yandere professor:

-would ideally have only one child.

[not planned]

-the first stage is always denial. He denies that he ever got one of his students—of all people—pregnant. He would try to remember all the times you two were intimate, and if he ever wore a condom. He’s pretty sure that he has, but then again it could break…

-then he gets worried for your wellbeing as the pregnancy progresses and he can see the visible signs. He’s also extremely paranoid that people might know that he’s the father.

Yandere mob boss:

-would want to have none.

[not planned]

-he doesn’t even like kids, but the kids you already have with your ex are fine. He doesn’t really see himself having more than the two kids he became a stepdad too.

-so, it’s a straight up no for him.

Yandere best friend:

-would want two max.

[not planned]

-you getting pregnant would absolutely send him in a downward spiral. He has college to finish, and so do you! He doesn’t know how he’s gonna be able to juggle his studies and a whole ass baby.

-slowly warms up to the idea of starting a family with his crush and best friend.

Yandere knight:

-would want one or three.

[not planned]

-the moment you told him that you were pregnant… he heard the death bells. He started planning his grave right there and then. He already has a kid that he needs to take care of… and now he has another with princess reader?

-vows to himself that he’ll get a vasectomy. He would help princess reader take care of the baby in private.

Yandere prodigy:

-would want none, but if he were to have a kid he would want a girl and that’s it.

[not planned]

-he doesn’t like that he now has a constant reminder that he slept with his enemy. he would also be in denial, and pretend that he hasn’t even touched you at all.

-definitely not happy, but ends up helping out anyways.

Yandere classmate:

-would want two. preferably twins so he can call them “spot” and “dot” i dunno 🤷🏻‍♀️

[not planned]

-Look, he was dreaming about starting a family with you but not this soon. He’s in school, and he has a clean reputation to uphold.

-wouldn’t want reader to keep the baby.

Yandere boyfriend:

-would want to have one and a boy.

[not planned]

-totally freaking out on the inside and trying to be calm on the outside. all he could think about was how he had to work more jobs to support another human being.

-Tries to convince you to not keep it because he’s not financially stable rn.

So, that’s all the people that would be hesitant or reject the idea of having a baby.

Now we’re onto the rest of the yanderes!

-Yandere husband would want to have four kids as the maximum.

-yandere prince would want two and only two. the youngest child would be considered as a backup incase the first one dies.

-yandere chaebol would have two, which he does have with his ex. But he wouldn’t object if he had more.

-yandere farmer would have twelve kids if he could! Lord knows that he sleeps with reader sooo much that he could do that.

-dumb yandere would be the man to somehow end up with twenty kids. he actually never thought about having any, but it would be a pleasant surprise. He would just give reader all the kids they want.

-yandere neighbor would like to at least have two, but none is perfectly fine with him.

-yandere camp counselor would probs be a guy that has like three kids.

-yandere stalker would have one or two. any more and it’ll give him a headache.

[doe-eyed-fool]

Fallen {Chapter Three}

Alastor x (fem)Reader

Warning: Very ooc Lucifer (I made the first few chapters before the series came out)

"Redemption?" I wonder aloud. "Yes! This is my hotel, and here, me and my staff help sinners better themselves for a chance of being redeemed!" Charlie says enthusiastically. But it didn't make much sense to me. Why would sinners care about being redeemed? Could they even be redeemed?

That sounded impossible, unheard of even. But held my tongue, clearly this was a passion project of hers. I wouldn't want to spit on her dreams.

"How...nice." I say with a smile. "But may I ask why you would do all this?" Charlie's eyes lit up at the thought of me being interested in knowing more.

"I believe that everyone deserves a second chance to be good. Everyone has good in them, even if they don't believe they do. And I think, with a little help, we can shape them into the best versions of themselves as they can be. Then they can get into heaven after all their hard work on improving."

I almost couldn't believe the words coming from her. She seemed so kind, so, not demon-ish at all! I couldn't help but wish her luck. She really believed that the sinners and demons of hell could be better people. In some ways, I agreed. I do believe people can change and be better. But, a lot of those creatures out there were here for a reason.

"So, are you here to check in?" Charlie asks me. "Uh, I-" I was cut off by Alastor. "Why yes, she is!" I shot a concerned glance at him. "Wonderful!" Charlie claps excitedly. "Come on, I'll give you a tour and introduce you to everyone!" Before I could protest, Charlie grabbed my hand and began walking.

Before she left with me she turned to Alastor. "I'll be back to help. We mainly just need to fix the place up from our last extermination." Alastor nods his head. "Of course my dear. Take your time." Charlie gives him a thumbs up before walking me away.

What was Alastor up to? Charlie showed me different areas of the hotel, and even introduced me to the staff and guests. First I met Vaggie, who turned out to be Charlie's girlfriend. She was pretty abrasive, but Charlie told me it wasn't anything personal towards me. Other than that, she was a fine demon and she clearly loved and cared about Charlie.

Next I met Angel Dust, a spider demon, he was uh...Something else. Smug too. I tried to keep my eyes on his and not his skimpy clothing. Apparently he was a porn star. I felt bad for him. Mainly because I was concerned for his safety. But he looked like he could handle himself, hopefully.

Then there was Nifty. She was nice, and very hyper. Excited to meet me and become friends, her singular eye looking me up and down frantically.

Before I could finish talking with her and move on to the next person, she picked some lint off of my dress. A clean freak I suppose. I said my goodbye before meeting the last person on Charlie's list. His name was Husk, a cat demon. And a rather rude demon at that.

He had no interest in meeting me or even spare a glance my way. Charlie apologized for his behavior before leading me back to the lobby.

"We can work on getting you a room shortly. I just have to make sure everything is all set first. Things got a little out of hand after the extermination. Then we had some demon attack us right after, thankfully Alastor got rid of him. In quite the horrifying way..." She laughs weakly before clearing her throat. "Anyway, I hope you'll enjoy your stay with us."

I only offered a false smile and nod. "So, I've been meaning to ask." Charlie begins. "How do you know Alastor? I mean, everyone knows him, but you seemed to actually be friends with him." My mind blanked for a moment as I tried to think of a explanation. "Uh well, Alastor kind of helped me out a bad spot." That seemed to have caught Charlie's attention.

"Really? What happened? If you don't mind me asking." She asks. Darn. "Well, he...Uh, I was lost. Yeah, I got lost and, he helped me. I'm sure you know how hell is. So...dangerous and and all that." Charlie nods. "Trust me, I know." She chuckles. "Being the princess of hell, I'm aware of a lot of things that go down on a regular basis. But not everything, my dad knows way more than me." My eyes go wide for a second.

Did she just say princess of hell? Does...does that mean her father is...

There was a knock on the front doors of the hotel. "I'll get it! Excuse me for a moment Y/n." Charlie says before heading for the front door. She straightens out her suit before opening the doors. "Welcome to...Oh, hey dad." Standing before Charlie, was a demon.

But not just any demon. This demon was known by all, in heaven, hell, and earth alike.

This demon, was none other than Lucifer himself. But could that really be him? He looked nothing like how I thought he would. For one thing, he was much...shorter, than I picture him to be.

Charlie's takes after her father's looks, as he had the same pale white skin, blonde hair, and rosy cheeks to bring it all together. They even shared the same eyes. When he spoke, it only sent more surprise and confusion through me. "Charlotte! How have you been?" His voice was a higher pitch than I imagined.

Not deep and masculine, but not feminine either. Somewhere right in between. "I'm fine." Charlie says with a weak smile. "What uh, what are you doing here?" She asks carefully. "I just wanted to check on my daughter. This year's extermination was no joke! The angels were relentless, I haven't seen so much carriage in a while." Lucifer walks past her into the hotel lobby, he looked around. "So, this is the hotel you've been working on."

Charlie follows after her dad, nervously fidgeting with her hands. "Yep." Lucifer chuckles. "Adorable." He says with a shake of his head. Suddenly his gaze fell onto me and I froze in place. "A new guest of yours?" Lucifer glances at his daughter for a moment. When she nods he looks back to me before approaching me. My breath was caught in my throat, my hands began to tremble.

He was but a step away from me, he looked at me with a grin. "What might your name be, little demon?" He asks. I couldn't bring myself to speak, my cowardice only seemed to have amused Lucifer. "Well? Are you going to tell me?" He smirks.

I glance over at Charlie, I don't know why, but I was hoping she could help me somehow. But she only kept her gaze on the floor, holding her arm close to her side with a nervous expression. I turn my attention back to Lucifer, who was still waiting for me to give him my name.

Finally I swallowed the large lump in my throat and speak. "Y-Y/n." I murmur. "Y/n." Lucifer repeats leaning in closer to me. His eyes bore into mine, his grin dropping slightly. "Strange..." He narrows his eyes. Suddenly Alastor's voice caught our attention.

"Lucifer, my good fellow! I had no idea you would be stopping by!" Lucifer looks over his shoulder before his grin returns to his face. "Alastor. Always a pleasure." He thankfully moves away from me and towards Alastor.

I could finally breath normally again, my heart wouldn't calm down as it thumped harshly against my chest. "I thought I might pay this place a visit. After all, it means so much to my daughter." He was far shorter than Alastor. Though, Alastor kept his same respectful demeanor when talking to Lucifer.

"Of course." Alastor nods. "It's quite the hotel. Very...Unique." Lucifer laughs at that. "You're right about that my good man."

Lucifer glances back at me as still talks with Alastor. "I thought this place would be in shambles after that extermination. Turns out my daughter can fend for herself after all." Charlie's expression fell at his words. "Anyhow. I should be on my way. Lots of work to be done, and business to attend to." He walks past Alastor and back towards the hotel entrance. "Oh, I almost forgot." He stops just before the door.

"Alastor? You haven't seen anything out of the ordinary lately have you? I ask because I know how attentive you are when it comes to anything new and unusual."

"Hm. Afraid not. Why? Has something occurred that I should know about?" Alastor asks. Lucifer shrugs. "I can't be sure. But I could have sworn I saw something quite strange fall from the sky early this morning." I noticed that Alastor's smile tightened slightly. "A new sinner?" He asks.

"Perhaps. Though, I've yet to see a sinner with such unordinary wings." Lucifer said lowly. My heart dropped down to the pit of my stomach. "But then again, I am so very overworked." He sighs. "Must have been my imagination."

"Maybe so." Alastor says calmly. Lucifer's smile turned sinister. "I'll be seeing you around, Alastor." He says before stepping out and closing the door behind him. I stare at the door unblinking, my hands trembling.

I look over at Alastor, despite his smile, I could tell he was upset. I would have asked if he was alright, but Charlie walked over to me and placed a hand on my shoulder. "I'm sorry about that." She sighs. "I didn't know my dad would ever come here. He's never been interested in my project, I guess I shouldn't have let my guard down. Are you alright?" She asks me.

I nod my head. "I-I'm ok." Charlie offers me a small smile before taking my hand. "Let's get you to your room. You can relax for a bit."

[valley-of-headcanons]

bachelorettes reacting to you getting hurt || headcanons

these bachelorettes vowed to stay with you, in sickness and in health! part two here!

warnings: you get hurt (obv) by: the mines, ocean, farming, tree, electrocution, and animals. if you're scared of that, don't read this :)

requested by: anon! thank you so much for the request! oh how i love comfort fics <3 it was kinda hard trying to figure out unique things that would hurt the farmer so pardon the slightly goofy scenarios 💀 had to screenshot anon message because tumblr hates my guts and won't let me post. anyway, hope you enjoy! :)

abigail

• You told Abigail you were heading to the mines, and it was rather late. She was worried, but she knew you'd be fine. You've done it several times, what would make this time different? Well, seeing as you didn't have enough food to keep your energy and help up ... uh oh. You weren't doing well, pretty beat up at this point. Tons of scratches and more blood than there really should be …

• Once it hit 2 AM, Abigail couldn't rest anymore. She was worried sick about you. Yes, you both were adventurous spirits, but everyone has their limits. So, Abigail got ready to head into the mines to find you. She descended through the floors, searching for you while slicing the monsters. She was more scared than she'd like to admit, and it was evident on her face.

• Once she found you passed out cold on a relatively low floor, she freaked the fuck out. She eventually got you to wake up through enough pushing and shoving. You looked to see your frantic lover's face for only a moment before she pulled you into a deep hug. She wasn't one to be emotional, she didn't like talking about that stuff, but when it came to you ... she loved you too much to hide it.

• “God- you had me worried sick! It's three in the morning- and you were- you were knocked unconscious and ... I was worried I lost you ... you can't do that to me, you had me so worried, I ... God, I sound like my dad ... just- please. Be more careful. I was worried I ... I was worried I didn't have the power to wake you up. Or ... anything did. I'm just glad you're awake, now let's get to Harvey's ASAP.”

• Abigail hurried with you to Harvey's, trying her hardest to stay calm with deep breaths. Despite the blood that was pouring on her clothes, her shaking hands, and her worries ... she stayed externally calm for you. She got you to Harvey's in no time, and he stitched you up with some warnings. Abigail made sure you stuck to them. Yes, she encourages rebellion, but not when it comes to health.

emily

• You decided to do some late night fishing. You had made kind of a big purchase today, so you needed to make up for it with some fish sales. Emily knew where you'd be, down by the beach. You go fishing all the time, it's not like this time would be very different. But when you hadn't come home, and the clock is striking 2 AM ... something was fishy.

• Emily made her way toward the beach, her intuition telling her something was wrong. Something didn't seem right in the slightest. But, she tried to keep her cool, as nothing that bad could've happened, right ...? She's one of the most calm and collected bachelorettes, despite her eccentric nature. She's truly the most emotionally mature. So ... why was she so nervous?

• When she saw you face down in the sand, it all clicked. She raced over to you, taking off her shoes and slinging them across the sand so she could get to you faster. She turned you over, trying to get you to respond. Worry laced her expression, trying to think of what to do. She had to learn CPR to work at the Saloon, so she decided to try it. She's out of practice, but ... when your eyes popped open, coughing up sea water and sand, everything seemed to be remotely okay.

• “Jeez- you had me worried for a second there! We've gotta get you to Harvey's tonight, you crashed out. I should've told you that something didn't feel right about fishing tonight, but I thought it'd be okay ... that's behind us. Right now, we've gotta get you back to health! Let's get to Harvey's. I'll be your crutch, 'kay?”

• As she helped you to Harvey's, she was a bit nervous but she knew you'd be fine. You were in good hands, and no matter what, something like this couldn't take you down. So, after getting to Harvey's, she sat by your side and held your hand as Harvey checked everything out. She trusted that fate knew what it was doing, and it did. She knew something this simple couldn't take you down.

haley

• Bright and early, you needed to do some work on the farm. Haley had opted to stay in the bed, claiming to need her beauty rest. Even though she didn't need it, you let her rest. You didn't need your partner sitting on the porch for you to do farmwork! It's not like you were a toddler who needed to be supervised, right? ... right?

• Haley woke up about an hour or two after you had, fixing herself some morning tea and admiring the scenery. She gazed out the window, looking at the beautiful life you two had created together. She was really proud of you, and the life you provided for her, even though she didn't say it nearly enough. She was shook from those thoughts when she noticed that you weren't tending to the farm like you normally were. You were laying in it. Not moving.

• Essentially launching herself out of the cabin in a robe, she ran to your side. Haley was screaming and panicking, dragging you out of the crops and sitting by your side. She shook you, trying her hardest to get you to wake up. She didn't know what was happening. Heat stroke? An undisclosed illness she didn't know you had? But then she noticed the already forming bump on your forehead ... you hit yourself in the head with your hoe? Really? Once your eyes began to open, she hugged you really tight before letting you have it.

• “Babe! How did you hurt yourself with a hoe?! You've got to be more careful! You're so- ... you're so stupid. I love you, you've gotta take better care for yourself! What if I hadn't seen you and you suffocated or something! I can't be around all the time! ... let's get you to Harvey's to get you checked out, dummy ... no, I'm not mad. My nerves are just super heightened now ... you know I worry about you, right?”

• Haley took you to Harvey's hoping that you hadn't done significant brain damage. When she knew that you were fine, she apologized for freaking out and giving you a kiss on the cheek. She'd still tease you about it, but she didn't raise any more hell. She was genuinely worried about you, and she doesn't respond to stress well.

leah

• Leah was hard at work on a sculpture, chipping away at the driftwood on the table in front of her. You wanted to do something nice for her: cut down a tree and give her the wood for her projects. She gives you so many things, so it's time you give her something in return! So, you set out on this journey, unbeknownst to Leah. She started to get a bit worried when you hadn't been around in a while, though …

• She had gotten so sucked into her work, she didn't realize that you had been gone for so long. It was getting pretty late, where could you be? She racked her brain for answers as she stood, calling out your name. She looked across the farm, not seeing you. Her last resort was to head into town, but she needed to drop by her old cabin for some materials. So, she headed through Cindersap Forest. She didn't expect to see you, helpless under a cut down tree.

• Leah's heart raced as she called your name, rushing by your side. Her first course of action was to pull the tree off of you, huffing and puffing but eventually getting it off of you. She looked over your body, seeing that you were mostly unharmed aside from maybe a broken leg. The tree must've hit you on the head on the way down. She dragged you to Harvey's without waking you up, she knew that this was probably dire. You woke up to Leah sitting beside you in the hospital.

• “Hey love, you scared me there ... I was worried I had lost you. What happened? ... ah, I see. Please, be more careful. I can lend you a book on how to more carefully cut trees? ... I love you. I don't say it nearly enough, even though I think I say it all the time. Please get some rest and get healed up, Harvey's gonna take care of you. No, don't apologize, you're fine hon.”

• After Harvey put your broken leg into a cast and explained how to properly take care of it, you looked over to Leah. She smiled at you softly, holding your hand. You knew that you were in safe hands with her. She was going to make sure you were taken care of, whether you liked it or not. She wasn't going to rest until she knew you were better.

maru

• Maru was working on a big project and needed some batteries. You were happy to provide! The lightning rods on your farm were the best way to go about it. Finally, you woke up to a rainy day! Maru was already hard at work in the home, so you went out to do your chores. Batteries were ready! You just had to grab them, and- pzzzt!

• She was very sucked into her work, not noticing that you had been gone for a remarkable amount of time. About midday, Maru got up to get herself a drink of water. She started to wonder about how you were doing and where you had gone, so she decided to step out into the rain to look for you. She didn't expect to find you laying in the dirt beside the lightning rods.

• Maru rushed over to you, pulling you away from the lightning rods and looking over your body. You were breathing, but you were definitely out. She tried to wake you up, but nothing. This was out of her nursing expertise, so she dragged you to Harvey's, slowly but surely. She got you there shortly, letting Harvey take care of you and helping him to the best of her ability. When you woke up, she was right by your side.

• “Hey hon, did you get electrocuted? ... yeah, I got you to Harvey's. Yes, you're fine, I assume you hit your head hard on the fall down. Is there anything else that feels odd? ... yes, you have a minor concussion, but I'll be home to help you out. You worry me, farmer ... I love you, though. You keep life interesting.”

• Maru followed Harvey's orders exactly, making sure you were on the way to recovery. She kept you fed and medicated for your pains. Taking care of someone is not something Maru normally does, despite her being a nurse. But she knows what to do and tries her hardest, giving you small little kisses in between your requests. She shows her love for you by doing everything you need.

penny

• You were going about, doing your daily chores while Penny was out with Jas and Vincent. This was the usual, despite your married life. You were working with the animals, as per usual. Tending to the cows and chickens was a daily chore, but it wasn't too bad! But sometimes, accidents happen. Sometimes you get accidentally kicked pretty hard by your cows. Y'know, it happens, right?

• Penny made her way home after working with the kids, waltzing into the cabin with a spring in her step. She didn't see you out on the farm, so she assumed you'd be home. She was surprised to see you not in the cabin, so she glanced back outside. She tilted her head, wondering where you could be. Well, in the meantime, she could go say hi to the cows! She loves the animals on the farm, and she can't wait to see them. She didn't expect to see you knocked out against the wall of the barn …

• Fight or flight mode kicked in on Penny. She stared at you for a moment, analyzing your breathing. You were alive, probably not too badly hurt, but definitely passed out. She shook off the panic, trying her hardest to push through despite the tears pricking at her eyes. She tried to shake you awake, but nothing. She knew she couldn't get you to Harvey's by herself ... so, she had to bring Harvey to you! She ran at full speed down to Harvey's, begging him to come visit the farm for you. She brought him to you, and he checked up on you in the barn. Penny sat right by your side as you woke up.

• “Love, I'm so glad you're awake! You had me so worried, I didn't know what had happened! I-I ... God, I'm so glad you're okay ... did one of the cows hit you, or something? ... hmm, I didn't expect that, that's really weird ... but, I will be right by your side until you feel better! Harvey said you had a broken rib, so I'll be taking care of everything that I can for you! ... just rest up for me, okay?”

• Penny stayed by your side for your entire recovery, helping you with anything you could ever need. You're so important to her, and it shows through every action. She would drop on her hands and knees for you if you asked. She cares so much for you, and she wouldn't dare put you in any discomfort! Penny is an incredibly devout wife.

[moonshynecybin]

please just a window into your mind palace 🙏 how does vale react when marc gets kidnapped? how does he act and what lengths does he go to save him? what kind of measures does he take to make sure marc is never harmed?

it’s really more like. okay so i think the lever that drives the purpose of the story in all of the whump fic EYE read as a young teen was. hey what if this character gets KIDNAPPED and BEFORE they got kidnapped everyone was maybe perhaps taking advantage of them/under appreciating them/not realizing they were in pain (this attitude could be extrapolated from actual observed behavior in canon towards this character orrrr ENTIRELY INVENTED. doesn’t really matter. with marc it is. unfortunately very real in many ways from vale due to their biblical level estrangement) but NOW people get to freak out and realize how much they care about them and how much they love them and nurse them back to health while whiping blood off of their bruised, pretty face as the kidnapped character sort of gazes up at them in disbelief that a WORM like them could even be cared about enough to be gently touched. in many ways this is a fun scenario to think about with ROSQUEZ. because i think marc has internalized. okay vale doesn’t care about me. and i want him to be proven WRONG ! INCORRECT BUZZER ! and this is perhaps a batshit crazy enough lever to get vale a lil stressed. like it’s one thing to see marc vaulted through the air. they do that for work. AND vale doesn’t even like THAT. but. ransom ? kidnapping ? total marquez family media freeze out? not even a cryptic liar statement from honda to overanalyze or a shirtless selfie from a hospital bed to signal he’s alive ? homie is BUGGIN. he likes INFO he’s CURIOUS he knew every detail of marc deciding to ride on that arm in 2020 he pays ATTENTION. worry despite distance. and oh boy this is the supreme worry scenario.

so anyways the wheels are off we are doing old school fandom tropes because in real life i think vale like. just stays kind of quietly scared until he’s asked about it where he has to perform the most insane feat of mental gymnastics ever put to camera. but that’s not FUN !!! so marc gets kidnapped by uh. evildoers. not important. they only really beat him up in a hot way like on teen wolf. and vale finds out through a blurry picture of marc shirt kinda half unbuttoned and mouth duct taped and on the NEWS and he looks SCARED and TIRED and BRUISED and. not very much like himself. which is thing that puts a burning pit in vale’s stomach the MOST, and he’s pretending he doesn’t care he’s pretending it’s normal he’s pretending it’s about HIMSELF (what if someone was out there kidnapping generationally talented motorsports professionals uccio ?? he HAS to be checking the news obsessively for safety THANK YOU..) but he’s really so stressed. white knuckle grip on his composure. like vale is not sleeping not eating he’s refreshing the news story obsessively because he doesn’t KNOW anything which is the scariest part. he’s calling in every contact he can he’s traveling to spain he’s getting turned away at the marquez family door. he’s still DENYING THAT HES FREAKING OUT. and he’s MIA. uccio is like vale has also been kidnapped. vale is like shut up. please. i am fine.

now in no world do i think vale actually DOES anything effective to get marc back bc at the end of the day he’s just a noodle who can ride bikes good. sorry. leave that to spy aus and the like. but he TRIES and he FREAKS and when they get marc back (bruised and pale and thin. comes into the ER like. and when can i ride my bike again. fully in tears) he arranges everything so it goes as smoothly as possible and then he stays in the hospital lobby for a full two days bundled up on an incognito hoody like a weirdo. he’s just gotta see him

[rumble-aint-a-rumble-without-me]

Hey dillo! I saw your hc about how the boys would act if their s/o was meeting everyone for the first time and I thought 'okay but how would they act if their s/o had social anxiety?'

✨And thus I bring you this ask✨

So, how do you think the boys would act if their s/o with social anxiety was meeting everyone for the first time? Hope you have a lovely day/night! --bones🦴

A/N: Hey you two! Thanks for the request, here’s part one!

- I can really see Darry with a shy S/O, I think they’d get along pretty well and balance each other out. I see him as this personality who automatically tries to protect everyone around him from anything that could possibly go wrong. For you, being so shy, that would probably look something like holding your hand when you go out, flashing you soft smiles when he can tell you’re getting nervous, or setting a hand on your hip to encourage you. He’s got a gentle soul, I just know it. Look at his face, alright? That’s the face of a gentle person. Even if he is, like, super mega jacked. Darry’s a real sweetheart and lets you take things at your own pace. He won’t push you to socialize or do things that make you uncomfortable. That comes into play especially when you meet the boys, he’ll introduce you slowly so you can get to know everybody. Dallas and Two-Bit are definitely last to meet you if you’re going with Darry. Two-Bit cause he’s loud and crazy, Dally because he can be an ass. I love Dal as much as the next person, but we all know I’m not wrong.

- Sodapop would probably surprise a lot of people if he brought home someone shy, but I think it’d be good for him! I think he needs that quiet person sometimes, you’re kind of his resting spot. He’s always chattering, always grinning, always joking, and I think he would really thrive with having someone kind of mellow. He loves talking to you, loves getting you to talk back and laugh with him. He’s always holding your hand, and I mean always. He likes to lace your fingers together and squeeze as a gentle assurance. Now, listen, I know that he knows you’re sort of shy, but I can definitely see him freaking you out a little by introducing you to the boys. Steve would probably freak you out, intimidate you because he thinks you’re gonna take Soda from him, but it’d all work out okay, I promise. Dally would probably mess with you too now that I’m thinking about it. He’d purposely mess with you, toeing the line until he gets you all flustered. Would that get him yelled at by Sodapop? For sure. Will Dally probably keep doing it? Most definitely. You’re taking risks here, but I think you’ll be just fine babydoll. The boys will accept you as one of their own eventually!

- Oh you wanna talk about a shy reader dating Ponyboy? Well you’re just looking for sweet fluff, aren’t you? He’d do so well with a shy partner, and they’d do so well with him. I have this feeling that Pony doesn’t talk much in class. He’s one of those that only answer the questions they’re asked and keep their head down so they don’t get called on. That being said, I know he would have absolutely no problem sticking up for you. You don’t wanna order your own lunch in the cafeteria? Don’t worry, Ponyboy has no issue with telling them your order. You don’t wanna get lost in the crowded hallway? Pony’s already giving you a soft smile, linking your fingers together. It would probably take a while for him to introduce you to the boys, but I think you’d meet Johnny pretty early on. Going to school together, you’d probably be familiar with him anyway!

- We all know Mr. Dallas Winston can be quite the asshole, but I’m here to talk about Dally being a sweetheart with a shy partner, okay? So just go with me. Dally doesn’t mind how quiet you can be, he doesn’t care about sitting in a comfortable silence with you. He gives you quiet compliments when he knows you need them, telling you how pretty you look or how well you’re gonna do on whatever you’re attempting. Good lord, he does love making you blush, just a heads up. Calling out your name and blowing you a kiss, whispering suggestive things just to see your reaction, letting his hands slowly slip south on your waist…Dally likes to push your buttons to get you out of a funk. The boys would have to be begging for him to introduce you before Dally finally brings you around. The only reason it would be earlier is if you’d asked to meet all his friends. He just knows the boys are kinda loud and stupid, alright, doll? Just trust him, he thinks you’re better off if you wait on meeting them, even though they are his friends.

- Johnny is the perfect boy if you’re shy. You guys are good for each other, chill and calm, balancing each other and coaxing each other to do things even when it seems hard. You’re his voice of reason, his encouraging voice at the back of his head. He’s your tough greaser, the one who gives you his jacket and holds your hand with that little smile of his. You guys tend to stick together in crowded places, sticking at each other’s sides. The boys, after you meet them, know that they’ve gotta lay off you guys sometimes. They do their best to not spook either of you, but you get plenty of jokes about how shy the two of you are. Johnny probably waited a bit to introduce you, just cause he wanted to have just you for a while, and was worried the boys would scare you off. I can see you hitting it off with Ponyboy? The three of you would probably vibe, and I think the boys would have a field day because all the quiet kids just sort of hang around in silence. 

[intimidating-fettuccine]

OOOH IVE BEEN WAITING FOREVER FOR REQUEST TO OPEN!!! Anyway I wanted to ask personality swap between Jeff and Toby? I kinda see them as polar opposite but they are both pretty dumb with their actions so if that we're to happen some how...how do you think they would hide it? (If they even know) and how would the pastas that hang around them feel like!

(Go ahead on dump for tim since ik you wanted to write for him for a bit!)

I tried my best since I liked the idea, I hope you enjoy. Although I didn't dump for Tim very much I suppose :p

You said to write for Tim, and listen I'm going to be honest; he notices immediately that something is wrong. Let's say they encountered a curse on a mission that swapped their personalities. They're still in the same bodies, just acting like each other, however, they are very aware of this fact but don't want to draw suspicion to themselves. They try to be quiet as they get home, trying to rush to their rooms, only to be stopped by none other than Tim himself, questioning them on how the mission went. Toby, feeling unusually dismissive with Jeff's personality, says it went fine and that Tim shouldn't get so stressed about these things, which Toby previously wouldn't have ever said to him, sparking alarms.

Then, of course, Jeff with Toby's personality feels the need to rush out an apology, saying that Toby didn't mean it, sparking even more alarms within Tim. He's standing there in utter confusion, mouth hanging open as he looks between them, only for both of them to wish him goodnight and book it back to their bedrooms. Of course, Tim immediately reports this to Slender, and then soon everyone knows and now has to navigate them with switched personalities for who knows how long. It's strange to watch, seeing Jeff be so much more sensitive and timid and sweet, and even stranger to watch Toby be the most relaxed he's ever looked, without a single care in the world about anything at all, being way more smart-mouthed and overconfident than he ever would be. To be honest, the mansion is just equally disturbed and confused by the change, and none of them know how to interact with the two of them anymore. Slender and Tim are absolutely aghast at the way Toby is acting specifically, as the once respectful and kind boy now constantly has an attitude and is constantly poking fun at everyone and annoying them, and then there's Jeff, trailing after him and apologizing and trying to calm things down.

Toby is dismissive of the whole thing, saying it's fine and they can just wait it out, it's not like it's a big deal (as Jeff would say), but then there's Jeff freaking out and unsure of himself now because all of a sudden his anxiety has skyrocketed and he's drowning in all of the behavioral issues/stressors/anxiety that Toby has from his past trauma (as Toby usually is), and it's very hard on Jeff. Of course, Toby notices this, and I do think he'd probably spend time with Jeff keeping his eyes on him. I think he'd give him advice, and remind him that everything is okay (like Jeff normally does for Toby, but now it's Toby doing it), and I think it would honestly be good for their relationship, as they come to understand each other much better. By the time they finally revert back to normal, the two of them are much calmer and more patient, especially with each other, and it turns out to be a good thing for everyone, honestly. Jeff and Toby are normally at odds because they don't understand the way the other works, but thanks to their switch, now they finally can. Although, people are still timid around them because despite their personalities reverting back, it seems they've adopted some of those traits, with Toby still being unusually relaxed and sassy, and Jeff being a bit more reserved and anxious. They're sure they'll fully revert back in time, but for now, they've gotta live with the strange looks they keep getting when they interact with people.

[signedeclipse]

Probably really weird and macabre but I would like to request headcanons for Douma, Hantengu and Gyokko with a human s/o who wants to try human meat for once and is really adamant about it (but not in a fetishizing way, just like 'I wonder what it tastes like'). Like what would their reactions be if their partner saw them eat someone and suddenly ask them if they can have a bite?

(If the request is too gross you really don't need to do it that's totally fine. I know cannibalism makes many really uncomfortable.)

Douma

One interesting fact about his human is that unlike others, they didn't seem all that worried by blood and gore

He was used to the screaming, pointing and running by most that ever tried to get close to him, but at worse you looked away, and it seemed more in a respectful way than a fearful way

But that is where he figured it stopped

Certain people weren't sympathetic, but you were

Others were monsters themselves, but Douma only found that to be partially true about you

"I find it's just the natural order of things" you would say "Like a lioness hunts a gazelle."

Douma didn't need ethics to keep him from feeling bad about it, but he was glad it wouldn't be an issue

But once when you walked in and naw him chewing on a leg, you stared way longer than usual

"Hello! Is everything okay?" His smile had bits of flesh and viscera stuck between the teeth

"Oh! Yeah, sorry, I got lost in my thoughts."

When he pushed to learn more, he was surprised to hear you were wondering what it tasted like, and had always wanted to try

Immediately his claws dug into the thigh and ripped out some of the muscles, tearing into the piece over and over till it was almost a sludge

Then, he shoved it in his mouth and kissed you

Of course his first concern was that your teeth couldn't break through flesh like his could so you might choke, so he broke it down as much as he could with his hands and teeth before pushing some into your mouth and parting

He swallows the majority and lets you try what little you did get

Wouldn't care if you spat it out or not, either way nothing would change

If you do like it he would tell you to hunt your own humans

Gyokko

Gyokko didn't really eat around you ever

Mostly because you spent your time in his studio and he actually tried to keep blood and gore away from his beautiful works unless intentional

But when he did he tried to be quiet about it

Surprisingly you didn't mind the gore, but you really hated mouth sounds and when he ate it was far too much to handle

It isn't beyond the upper rank to offer you to try some, but you always laughed it off or said you didn't want to ruin your clothes/appetite incase you didn't enjoy it

But this time, when he caught you staring he decided to offer for the nth time

And much to his excitement, you accepted!

Of course he wouldn't give you anything other than the best, so he ripped the heart clean out of the freshly obtained body and pressed it against your lips

Of course it was really hard to bite into, but he let you take your time before pulling it away and biting out almost half the heart with his left mouth

"Oh I love the way the red stains your pretty lips darling~"

Would laugh and prod at you for being too weak if you couldn't eat it, but would stop asking if you want any afterwards

Hantengu

Hantengu keeps to himself when eating, but he would usually do it while you eat your own meals because he enjoys the comfort of 'normalcy'

It's actually pretty impressive to him that you can keep food down and talk to him while he is eating a human

The other personalities tend to prod you about it and ask if you are a freak or something, but otherwise leave it be

They aren't out often anyways

One dinner, you were frustrated about forgetting to go to the market during the day and how you'd only have plain rice for dinner

You wondered aloud if human meat would make a good protein which immediately Hantengu was by your side

"Be careful!! Eating blood like that could make you ill,,,or worse!"

Very worried about the potential of sickness in someone's blood getting to you

But when you insist, Hantengu forced you to cook it so at the very least any bacteria is killed

You make a little stir fry with just that and mushrooms on a bed of butter rice

Surprisingly not bad, but Hantengu wouldn't let you have more beyond that one occasion

He doesn't want you to get sick, nor does he want you to lose your humanity

Authors Note - Please do not apologize because I REALLY REALLY enjoyed this request! I was a horror writer for a really long time and honestly kinda feel the romance with this <3 Also tysm for requesting Hantengu and Gyokko I love them sm... Come back soon, Anon!

[graysweatsgrayhoodie]

Idk why but I really like the idea of George being in a sweet and loving relationship with someone who is ready to throw hands with Fred at any given moment.

George and her making heart eyes at each other while her and Fred are silently plotting each others demise.

George laying in his bed, kicking his feet while he re-reads old letters from her, while Fred is laying in his own bed planning his prank to dye her hair vomit-green.

George would never pick sides, but he did get caught in the cross fire quite a bit.

One time, Fred tried to hex her books to make them weigh as if they were made of solid rock. However, George was the one who usually carried her books for her anyway. She tried to get him to let her carry at least some of them so it wouldn’t strain him so bad, but he insisted he was fine (the sweat on his brow and crease on his forehead said otherwise, but she knew better than to argue). Still he laughed with Fred about the joke, saying they should pull it again on someone else, mostly so that next time he could laugh along again, this time without his arms being sore for the days following.

She had tried to get Fred back the following day at dinner. She had cast an illusion spell on Fred’s food to make it look like his pasta had turned into dozens of little snakes writhing around in sauce. She had gotten the reaction she was hoping for as Fred let out a loud yelp and jumped up from his seat, throwing his plate in the air. Unfortunately, you hadn’t planned for Fred’s plate to land upside down right on top of George’s head, sauce and noodles sliding down his face.

Again he laughed along, finding Fred’s freaked out reaction funny, even if it meant he would have to take a shower before their date night that night.

While everyone else was always convinced that Fred and her would eventually kill each other, George saw their relationship in a different light. He always told them that the reason they did these things to each other was because, deep down, they both cared for each other and never really wanted to see each other in any real harm.

They both called him mad.

After she graduated from Hogwarts, George offered her a job at Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes, though he knew Fred would never agree to it. It took a lot of convincing and begging on George’s part, letting Fred know of her incredible organizational skills that both the twins severely lacked. Fred was only fully convinced when he saw the back room, that had been nearly impossible to sort through on a good day, had been organized so neatly a two-year-old could find the product they were looking for (she had to keep Fred in mind, of course). Besides, with her working there, Fred had every opportunity to send curious kids in her direction, telling them to test their products out on her, hoping to see her covered in boils or with a large purple tongue. She, of course did the same thing to him (it being in her favor more often than not as kids weren’t too keen on pranking such a pretty lady, much to Fred’s frustration and George’s agreement).

When George lost his ear, they had both silently agreed to put a hold on their shenanigans, both of them doing their parts to take care of him and not cause him too much stress.

That lasted a week.

Fred had superglued all of her shoes to the floor, making it very difficult for her to get to work in the morning. She retaliated by jinxing all his ties so that no matter how he tied them, the front strand would always be shorter than the back strand.

At least George had a nice relaxing week. It only took him getting his ear blown off.

When the war had reached its peek, and the Battle of Hogwarts began, all three of them were there to fight against the Dark Lord and his minions. She found herself fighting alongside Fred when she heard the beginnings of the wall behind them crumbling, meaning it was about to fall, and right on top of them. Fred hadn’t noticed, as he was making a comment to Percy, so she ran over to him quickly, tackling him to the ground, mostly out of the way, as the wall behind them fell. Some rocks and bricks landed on top of them, her taking the brunt of it as she was laying on his body, arms covering their heads. The fallen wall had rendered her unable to walk, and seeing as this place was swarming with enemies, Fred scooped her up and took her somewhere safer, sending curses and hexes toward anyone who tried anything funny.

George expressed how grateful he was after the battle had ended, thanking them both for saving each others lives and proving his point about them caring about each other.

“‘Saving each others lives,’” they had both scoffed. “Please, they would have been just fine without me.”

They would not have been.

“Besides,” they both continued, “I only helped them because if they had died, then George would be all mopey and sad about having to live the rest of his life without them. That’s all.”

But that day, they had both gotten their confirmation that neither of them hated each other nearly as much as they let on, and that maybe George was right.

Of course, they could never admit that, though. Because that would mean telling George he was right, and he would never let that go.

[daydreamgoddess14]

Taglist: @theskytraveler @moonmaiden1996 @acrackintheteacup @succulentthief

Masterlist

Chapter 1

Warnings: *I want to be super clear on warnings so this might give away a handful of spoilers* Mentions & depictions of DV (not graphic or laboured), minor mentions of SV (not dubcon or rape, more like coercion and 'feeling obligated'), stalking, impact of all of this shit on a child, OFC is a single mother so there are depictions of motherhood. My inbox is open if you have any questions or want to talk 😘

Thank you so much for all the love so far! I had a feeling before the finale that this could be a great companion to Season 4, and I was right! Really, really hope you're enjoying it - I'd love to hear from you if you are!

The Escape Artist - Chapter 2

River Cartwright had reached the end of an equally challenging six months. Louisa placed a beer bottle down on the table in front of him and clinked the neck of hers against it. 

“You're drinking less.” 

“Hmm. Yeah, trying to.”

“Good. Catherine was one more bottle away from a full intervention.”

“I wasn’t that bad,” he claimed weakly.

“Yeah Riv, you were.” She told him sadly. He didn’t meet her eyes, though at least the pity in them had lessened over the last few months.

“Cole seems to be coming out of her shell a bit.”

“Lamb’s taken a shine to her.”

“He’s a softy really.” River scoffed at Louisa’s comment. “He is. He was worried about you.”

“Right, course he was.”

“Fine, don’t believe me.” She shrugged. “It’s not until the shit hits the fan that we realise that we do actually like each other. If only a little bit.”

“Speak for yourself,” he knew she was right. He’d seen it himself when Lamb had summoned him to the pub. Underneath the biting remarks and veil of sarcasm was the backbone of Slough House. The reason none of them, despite their claims otherwise, actually tried or wanted to leave. Unless it was in a box. They all remained unwaveringly at his side. His treatment of Ella was a little more revealing though, similar in a lot of ways to his high regard of Louisa. Above all, regardless of their flaws - and there were many, many flaws - Lamb protected his Joe’s and though he’d never admit it, he cared for them.

“Want to know what I think?” She demanded, leaning forward on her arms to get in his face.

“I think you’re going to tell me anyway.”

“I am. You’re angry, I get it,” he rolled his eyes and tried to move back in his seat away from her fixed gaze. “I do. I’m angry too, every fucking day. But River, you have to live. You have to allow yourself to have a life and friends - even if it’s just the dickheads we work with. Otherwise, what’s the fucking point?” She sighed, her shoulders dropping. “Just… just stop sodding drowning in this anger and loneliness and let us in. It doesn't matter who your father is, or what your mum did. It matters how you were raised, that's why you feel so guilty for putting him in a home.” Her voice cracked and he finally looked back up. “I won’t let you do this to yourself. He's OK, he's safe there and he will forgive you, got it?” He nodded silently and she slumped back in her seat. “Good. God, you’re such a knob.”

“Thanks.” He picked at the label on his bottle, “what do you make of Cole then?”

“She’s good, very good. Whatever happened at the Park must’ve been big to get her sent to Lamb.”

“I think someone’s following her.” He said quietly. Louisa frowned and leaned in again.

“Are you sure?”

“Pretty sure.” River had lost track of the number of times he’d seen the figure at the bus stop. A cold shudder ran down his back as he recalled Jed and his bus stop watching ways. London was packed to the hilt with commuters, the man could be anyone he’d reasoned initially. But then, he couldn’t help but notice him every single time.

“Shit. Have you told her?”

“And say what? ‘Don’t want to freak you out, but I think you’ve got a stalker’?”

“Could be someone from the Park? You need to find out more about her.”

“Me? He baulked, “why not you?”

“You share an office with her. Be friendly.”

“I am friendly,” he grumbled into his beer bottle. 

“Be nicer. Give her those big eyes and cute smile. You never know, it might be a cure for loneliness.”

“Thanks for that,” he responded, mildly offended.

“I do mean it though, if you’ve noticed someone then we should keep an eye out.”

“Yeah, yeah we should. Think we should tell Lamb?”

“Probably better telling Cole first?” Louisa reasoned, sinking her beer.

*

“Earth to Cartwright?” He tore himself from the window to see Ella with her arms above her head trying to get a box of files down from the high shelf he��d put them on. “Any danger of you actually helping?” She’d leaned her whole body into the filing cabinets to stop the box from falling on her head, her voice muffled from leaning on her arms.

“Fuck, yes,” he dashed forward and reached from behind her to grab the box, squashing her further into the cabinet as he did so.

“Ouch, thanks?”

“Sorry, sorry.” He dumped the box on her desk.

“Cheers. Right, I need a coffee before I get started on that lot. Want one?” He dug around in his pocket and handed her a tenner, “I’ve got these,” she told him, pulling on a jacket.

“No, go on.”

“Cartwright, it’s fine, really.” She glared at him, ignoring the money. She had seemed better recently, he thought as he heard Shirley reeling off an order from the next room. As he heard the bottom door slam, he took up his spot by the window again and watched as the man at the bus stop started to follow Ella down the street. He hadn’t had a chance to tell her yet, he’d pointed the man out to Louisa though, who was also on alert. His phone pinged in his pocket, a message from Louisa who was clearly also wasting time at the window.

He’s followed her to the shop, we have to tell her.

Ella came back twenty minutes later with a cardboard tray of four coffees and a bag of doughnuts.

“My fucking hero.” Shirley cooed. Ella nudged hers and River's door open with her hip.

“Everything ok?” He asked as soon as she was in the room.

“Thanks for the coffee, Ella?” She filled in for him.

“Thank you. Is everything ok?” 

“Why wouldn’t it be?” She frowned, sliding the tray onto his desk.

“Just… anything weird going on?”

“Apart from you?” He huffed. “No, Cartwright. I went five minutes down the road, ordered four coffees and a bag of doughnuts and then I came back. Nothing weird. Why?”

“I think someone’s following you.” He spat out quickly. Her eyes widened and the coffees nearly went flying as she rushed to the window.

“What makes you say that?” She asked, the fear in her voice evident. He watched her frantically glancing at the street below, taking in the faces of everyone milling around. Louisa had followed Ella and remained in the doorway. She scowled at River,

“Ever heard of tact, Cartwright?”

“You told me to tell her,” he said defensively and then turned back to Ella. “I thought I saw someone as you went to the coffee shop.”

“Are they down there now?” She demanded. When she realised he was nowhere near the window she stalked back across the room to him and pulled him by the wrist. “Look, are they down there? How long have you both known?”

“Cole, what’s going on?” Louisa asked carefully, making her way to the window.

“One of you tell me now, is he there?” she hadn’t let go of River’s wrist. “Please?” He scanned the street, the usual bus stop, Louisa peered over Ella’s shoulder to take a look as well.

“No. No they’re not there now. It must have just been a coincidence.” He tried to sound reassuring.

“I can’t see anyone either.” Louisa confirmed.

“You’re fucking spies? Cartwright, if you think you saw someone then you saw someone, right?” She dropped his hand and brought her own up to her mouth and heaved. “Fuck, I’m gonna -” she bolted through the door to the bathroom. 

“I don’t do puke, I’ll leave you to it. Since you’re doing so well at all of this,” Louisa waved a hand around disdainfully. 

“Thanks a lot, real helpful.” He muttered. He left Ella alone until the sounds of her retching had passed, then knocked gently on the door. 

“Got you some water?” The door unlocked and opened enough for him to hand her the bottle. “How’re you feeling?”

“I’m ok. Thank you for the water,” her voice trembled.

“Is there anything I can do? I can get Louisa back?”

“No. No, there’s nothing either of you can do.” He took a seat with his back against the wall and waited, the door still closed between them. “You can go now,” she told him in a small voice. He didn’t move. When she finally opened the door, she nearly tripped over him. “Thought I told you to leave me?” She muttered furiously, a small hiccup giving away the fact that she’d been crying. She pushed past him to her desk where she retrieved a packet of chewing gum and shoved a couple of pieces into her mouth.

“Wanted to make sure. You know, you can let me know if -”

“Where the fuck are dumb and dumber?” Lamb’s bellow filled the corridors.

“Wonder who he means?” River asked aloud.

“Cartwright, I mean you and Cole. Arses up here now.”

“Now you know,” she shrugged. “You're dumber, by the way.” She pushed open Lamb’s door timidly and he looked at her for a long minute without a word. She brushed her hands over her cheeks, self consciously getting rid of any tears still visible. It took River clearing his throat for him to shift his attention.

“I want the pair of you to take these files to Molly.” He pointed to two wheeled boxes by his door. “Cartwright, get them downstairs. Cole, sit.” Once River had moved the boxes to the top of the stairs, he turned back to Ella. “Alright?” River heard him ask. 

“Yeah, think so.”

“Think? Don’t do too much of that. You’ll get an aneurysm.”

“I can only dream of such a happy ending,” she muttered.

“I’m serious, you’re not bringing shit to my door are you?”

“No, I’m not.”

“Good, now fuck off before Cartwright gets lost on the stairs.”

“You give him too much credit.” Ella smiled at Lamb’s booming laugh as she left.

“How do you make him laugh?” River asked dismally.

“Told you, he likes me.” Between them, they got the boxes to the entry door and then onwards down the metal stairs and into the street. Neither of them acknowledged that they were both on high alert looking out for whoever River had seen. She felt him tense next to her and startled at the faintest graze of his hand in the small of her back.

“3 o’clock,” he muttered. She looked left. “That’s 9. Do you need a watch?”

“Do you need a slap?” She looked right instead.

“Green cap, blue jacket.” She didn’t acknowledge him. “Well?”

“No idea.”

“No idea what? Do you see him?”

“Is that who you -”

“What do you mean no idea?” He demanded.

“I mean I have no idea who he is. Is that who you’ve seen?” He nodded brusquely. “I don’t know him.” She confirmed confidently. Ella spotted a bus pulling up ahead and for the second time that day grabbed River’s wrist and pulled him with her. “C’mon, I’m not walking for an hour.” They wedged onto the packed bus, just about finding two seats together with enough space to squeeze the boxes in front of them. Their knees bumped together in motion with the bus all the way to Waterloo. With his thigh pressed against hers and his arm around the back of her seat to give them both some extra space, River felt Ella relax. He tried not to think about how comforting it felt to have another person leaning into him. He especially tried not to think about the twinkle he’d only recently started to see in her eyes. At Waterloo, he made her get off the bus and walk the rest of the way, across the bridge and down Millbank to the imposing Thames House building. Molly welcomed them quite literally with open arms.

“Ella Cole! My god, you look…”

“Terrible?”

“I do have some manners,” she scolded Ella. “But you are looking a little on the pasty side. How are you?”

“Doing better, thank you.” Ella glanced briefly at River who pretended to not be listening. Molly’s eyes twinkled in understanding.

“Good. It’s good to see you.”

“You too. How’s the lair?”

“Just call me batman, darling.” She swiftly turned her attention to River. “And you're looking better since I last saw you.” 

“Yeah. Molly, I wanted to apologise -”

“Don't you dare. It's not your place to apologise on behalf of that man, you did nothing wrong.”

“Lamb told you?” He guessed. 

“They fuck you up, your mum and dad. They may not mean to, but they do. They fill you with the faults they had, and add some extra, just for you,” she quoted. River stared after her as she turned her chair in the direction of the stacks. “Come on then you two.” She gave very strict instructions on which files to put where, putting them to good use. “Be a dear, Cartwright, and take these down to the last aisle please?” He blanched at the request but gathered up the files and took them to the furthest end of the room. “He’s a good lad really.”

“He’s not so bad.” Ella mused, putting her own files into much closer aisles. 

“Come back soon,” she ordered them as they stepped back into the lift to leave.

“Bye Mol, see you again.” River offered her a genuine smile which she returned. “She seems to like you. They all do.” He said to Ella as the lift closed. 

“I’m nice, not grumpy all the time.” 

“Are you… you barely said a word for six months? Are you for real?” He stared in disbelief.

“I just needed to settle in.” She shrugged.

“Yeah, and now I can’t get you to shut up.”

“Why do you have to be such a dickhead?” She nudged him with her shoulder, a smile pulling at her mouth.

“C’mon, I’ll get you a coffee to make up for the one you didn’t get to drink earlier.” They queued up at a coffee van at the side of the Thames. Ella, to River’s disgust emptied two sachets of sugar into hers.

“I need some sugar,” she explained as her phone rang in her pocket. “Back in a sec.” She moved away, over to the railings, and paced while she spoke on the phone. River watched the tension in her shoulders increase by the second. She seemed to close in on herself before his eyes and as she made her way back to the bench, she looked like an entirely different person.

“What is it?” She ignored him, picking up her coffee which shook in her hands. “Ella?” He asked quietly. She sighed at the sound of her first name falling from his mouth.

“It’s nothing.”

“Liar.” She glanced around the people nearby and then back at him.

“Apparently the bloke in the green cap is someone I should know.” 

“How’d you mean?” River frowned. He watched her shutdown, her good humour and the twinkle in her eye disappear.

“I can’t,” she looked around furtively. Almost fearfully. “I can’t explain. It’s complicated.” He recognised the walls immediately, identical to the ones he’d built. She got up from the bench and hovered impatiently, waiting for him. “Can we go now?” He followed her diligently as she marched back across the bridge to Waterloo and straight onto a waiting bus. She was more closed in on the journey back, he could see her recoiling away from him. She held her body taut so her leg didn’t brush against his. Outside Slough House, green cap, blue jacket stepped across them.

“Mrs Cole. I’m Danny, can I talk to you for a moment please?” He looked River up and down, “alone.” He added. 

“He said he'd sent you.” She said wearily, correcting her posture and standing straight.

“He called you. I'm glad he did. But this isn’t a conversation for your friend to hear,” he must have noted the fear in Ella’s eyes. “You’re perfectly safe Mrs Cole. He’d never want any harm to come to you.” She nodded once and turned to River.

“It’s ok Cartwright, I’ll be up in a few minutes.” She told him firmly, he went to protest but she gave a tiny shake of her head. He did as she asked and turned to leave. Green cap, blue jacket took her elbow firmly and half dragged her into the nearest cafe. River waited out of sight in the doorway of the Chinese where he had a direct view of Ella in between the menus and posters stuck to the window. He had no intention of leaving, as she’d requested. She had her head in her hands and when she looked up at the man, he could tell she’d been crying. She shook her head, clearly responding ‘no’ to something she’d been asked but the longer River watched, the more hesitant she appeared. As the conversation looked to be wrapping up, River went to wait at the bottom of the stairs. When Ella rounded the corner and spotted him, she sighed. “What are you doing?”

“Thought I should stick around, in case you were in trouble?” He told her earnestly.

“I don’t need protecting, Cartwright.”

“Want to explain why some bloke who’s been stalking you just wanted a quick chat then?”

“Not really.”

“C’mon, Cole. Something’s going on. You’re married, for one? And the phone call?” She brushed past him and headed up the stairs, leaving him to follow behind. She was scrambling around her desk, throwing her notebook, phone and anything else she needed into her bag like a woman possessed. “Cole, just stop a minute -” she went to dart past him between his desk and the filing cabinets when his hand came down on top, blocking her path. She flinched immediately, almost cowering from him, and suddenly it all clicked into place. He recalled every time she'd curled inward at raised voices in the office, the way she startled and jumped every time he - or anyone - was in her personal space, the eggshells she constantly seemed to be treading on. “Shit, I'm sorry, I didn't know -”

“You don't know anything. Whatever you're thinking, you're wrong.”

“Am I? Then why do you look so scared?” He moved his arm, clearing her escape route. “Ella,” he said softly, “I'm not going to hurt you. I never would.” She looked up from her feet, he could see the shame and embarrassment blooming on her cheeks. “Talk to me?” She shook her head adamantly. 

“I can't. I can't, I have to keep Clo safe. You don't understand,”

“Help me, then?” She closed her eyes, he imagined her weighing up in her mind the pros and cons of telling him. “Please, Ella? I’ve been fucking shit around here for six months, I’ve been the shittest person to share an office with and I know, I know you have no reason to trust me or believe me. But I want to help you?” He pleaded.

“He's the reason I'm here,” she whispered, tearfully.

“Green cap?” 

“No, he’s just an… associate. He was sent by my ex, Clover’s dad.”

“What happened?” 

“I covered for him. Got the Park off him when they started looking into him.”

“Fuck, El,” he dragged a hand over his face. 

“Don't, don't be nice to me. I don't deserve it. I chose to be part of it, I fucked up and Taverner found out. She sent me here.”

“They didn't arrest you?” She dropped into his office chair, unprepared for the missing wheel, and nearly tipped the whole thing over. River steadied her quickly and sank onto his knees before her. 

“Dad's a copper. They made it go away, sent me here. I haven't seen him for years, he's never even met Clo. I didn't know Taverner had contacted him til they were kicking me out.” Ella put her head in her hands and sighed. “I met him when I was seventeen. Ran away with him, he was older - in his late twenties. He covered up his work for years, I didn't know about any of it. I got a low level job at the Park and he told me to go for it because he knew in the long run it would benefit him in some way. Then he got more and more controlling and involved me in his work, and by then it was too late to get out. I was pregnant with Clo, I had nowhere to go.” Her voice shook, “he'd have killed me. So I just carried on playing the dutiful gangland wife until he got caught and there was only so much of his shit I could hide.” 

“Fuck me. How'd you get out?”

“They got him on a minor charge, something really stupid, and he went to prison. I got away as soon as he went down. But it's not enough,” she rolled her eyes, “he was always going to find me. I just hoped I'd have longer to come up with a plan.” 

“Is that what green cap wanted?”

“To tell me he's out tomorrow and wants to see me,” she nodded. “No doubt wants us back together. He won't let Clo go without a fight, he told me he'd call social services and tell them I drink and take coke around her. If he can't have her, he won't let me.” She rubbed her forearm absentmindedly and River noticed a small scar. She saw him looking and pulled her sleeves down, he hadn't noticed how close they were, she'd leaned towards him on her elbows and he'd raised up on his knees to maintain eye contact with her. She looked away, blushing. “Sorry, I shouldn't have dragged you into this.” He cleared his throat and sat back on his heels.

“I'm glad you told me,” he said sincerely. “What can I do?” 

“Nothing. I’m serious, you can’t do anything about this. I just need you to keep it quiet. The best I can do is try not to bring any shit to Lamb’s door.”

“He knows?” He thought back to the conversation he’d overheard earlier.

“He knows some stuff, same as you.”

“Will he hurt you?” He asked quietly through gritted teeth. Ella hesitated, refusing to meet his eyes. “He will, won't he?”

“Nah,” she tried to sound convincing. “He'll be fine. He'll understand why I left.” She assured him. When she looked at him again, the walls were firmly back in place and she was back on her guard. 

“Ella -” she waved a hand to interrupt him. 

“It's going to be fine, really. Thank you, River.” 

“That's the first time you've called me River.”

“I'm sure it's not,” she brushed off. 

“It is. It definitely is.”

“First and last time then,” she said with a small smile. 

“Hopefully not.” He got to his feet, his ankle clicking painfully as he did. “Ow, fuck.”

“Must be all that running you're so good at.”

“Funny, very funny.”

“I need to go.” 

“Will you be back?” He asked curiously. 

“Course I will,” she nodded firmly. “Slow horses couldn’t keep me away,” she told him, rolling her eyes. He wasn’t sure he believed her.

*

Unsurprisingly, Lamb was already in the pub. Fresh from a marginally less stressful visit to the home, River slid onto the barstool next to him, as had become their routine over the last seven months.

“Old bastard still alive?”

“For another day at least. I did get a bit less shit from him this time though.”

“Maybe he’s starting to enjoy those sponge baths.” Lamb teased. River grimaced into his glass.

“Gross, please don’t say shit like that.”

“Molly alright?”

“You told her about Frank?”

“I tell her a lot of stuff. She’s one of the good ones.” River hummed in agreement.

“I’ve found some things out today,” he started, keeping his intentions vague. “Some things I think you also know? About Cole.”

“Ahh yes. Our little gangland belle. She told you, did she?”

“We met an associate of her ex. Apparently he’s getting out tomorrow, he wants to see her.”

“I’m sure he does. He’ll want to know what she’s been up to while he’s been inside.”

“What can we do?”

“Nothing, Cartwright. We can’t do anything unless she asks us to.” They drank in silence, River raised his hand to request another round. ”Keep an eye on her though, eh?” Lamb added, River nodded.

“Will do.”

Chapter 3

[galvanizedfriend]

hi! so i’ve read pretty much all of your works and loved them so much. your writing is amazing and some of the best fan fiction i’ve read.

the only ones i haven read from you are the wolf series but i keep hearing so many good things about it.

i know it’s a TO rewrite with caroline instead of hayley (and i could look past the baby plot if it means klaroline) but i’ve tried watching the show a few times and hated hayley’s personality and some other nuances to the show and o was wondering if The Wolf is Caroline in place of Hayley but her personality and the way she acts in situations is how Hayley does in the show, or if it’s very much so Caroline if she were put in the position Hayley is in? if that makes sense

First of all, thank you very much, nonnie! ❤️ Glad you enjoy my little fics 🥰 Your question makes perfect sense, yes.

The short answer is: no, Caroline is not just Hayley in a wig 😂 If you're asking me, I'm obviously going to say it's completely different! I'm biased, but I also know how much work I put into it, so I know all the ways TW deviates from the show. I think Caroline is very IC in this, if I may say so myself, so obviously not Hayley, and every time I've gone back to re-read parts of this fic I have had a great time 😂 So personally, I think this is a very entertaining story, but again, it's my story lol Other people might be able to give you less biased opinions.

If you hate hate The Originals, there is still a chance you won't like this anyway, but I do think it's very different, and I have a longer answer if you're interested.

Under the cut because I DON'T KNOW HOW TO SHUT THE FUCK UP!!! Be careful what you guys ask me, you might get a freaking bible as a reply.

I have become deffensive of this fic over the years because I have received some very nasty comments in the past (not saying your question is offensive in any way, nonnie, this is a very valid question!). I can respect people not liking it, I can respect this isn't everybody's cup of tea, and that's totally fine. What I can't stand is when people tell me I haven't done anything to the show, or that Klaus and Caroline are exactly the same as Klaus and Hayley. I did not spend the amount of time I have spent overthinking and overwriting this shit into something that makes much more sense and is way more fleshed out than the show ever was to hear from people that I've done nothing. I can't even list all the ways TW deviates from the show, or Caroline from Hayley, because I'd be here for the rest of the day.

As the person writing the story, I know exactly how much thought I have put into it, how many original scenes and dialogues and shit I write each chapter, and how much of what I've taken from the show I have cracked my brain to twist and change in a way that fits. I have spent more time of my life overthinking the crappy writing on this show in order to add context and find correlations and make connections and rationalize characters' behaviors and add depth to their actions and their thoughts, and let me tell you, nonnie, it was not easy. It's unbelievable how weak the writing for TO is, the actors do a lot of the work all by themselves. My friends who were with me during this time know how fucking annoying I was lol

This was me sending messages to @definedareasofuncertainty in the middle of the night to explain an idea:

I realize I can't expect readers to feel the same way, everyone is entitled to their opinions and I can only be responsible for what I write, not for how people are going to understand it, but I can't help the way I feel because, to me, it's insane when someone reads this and thinks it's the same. The entire premise of The Wolf is different. It's never about the baby, the baby is almost background noise. The Originals starts and ends around Hope, but The Wolf is not about baby Eve (that's the baby's name), it's about Caroline. Everything is about Caroline, and about Klaus' feelings for her.

A lot of what I think is wrong with TO is that it just doesn't make sense. The things they do, the choices they make, the way they relate to each other just doesn't work, and what I tried to do was rewrite it in a way that it did make sense, not only moving the story forward, but also, and especially, the characters, their motivations and their relationships. I feel like TO was always going to be a better show if they'd focused more on characters than on plot, because that's what I was there for from the start, the family and their bonds, not undercover werewolf packs or baby-stealing aunts. But the writers sacrificed the characters so much for the sake of some arguably very silly plots (don't even get me started here…). While I do keep the plot points, what I tried to do (and hopefully succeeded, at least to a certain degree) was to bring the characters to the front and push the action and enemies and wars and such to the background. So instead of having the characters reacting to the plot, I have the plot serving the characters, if that makes sense. I kept the parts that interested me and that I felt I could use to serve my purposes and threw out everything I could dispense with.

And what I was aiming for first and foremost was to get Caroline the center stage I always felt she deserved, and the love story she could've had with Klaus. So the whole thing is really about that. S1 is the two of them sorting through their differences and understanding their feelings for each other, S2 is the two of them negotiating an actual relationship, S3 is them being married. That's it. I had the best time writing about the two of them through the eyes of the other characters, to have Elijah and Rebekah and Kol and Marcel witnessing and monologuing about Klaroline, all these different points of view on them. And my actual favorite part of the entire story is the part that isn't The Originals at the end of TW2.

So anyway, my point with my TO rewriting was never to fix everything that is wrong with the show. I wasn't writing the version of TO I wish it had been, my ideal spin off. I could've done that, but I didn't, because it's not what the project was ever about when I started. I wanted to keep the show as close to what it is as possible, whilst trying to prove a point (to myself, but also, hopefully, to some other people) that there was a way that this show could've still kept me invested. I'm an easy girl, just give me faves on their journey towards endgame and I'm satisfied, you know.

If you made it to the end of this, congratulations, nonnie 😂 You wanted a yes or no answer and you got a STATEMENT. I'm very sorry for my dumbass response, I've just become *protective* of this fic. If you do read it, I hope you'll find it enjoyable. If not, that's ok too! There are many amazing fics out there for you to be wasting your time on something that won't spark joy for you ❤️ And thanks again for reading my other fics, that's very lovely of you!

[at-wicks-end]

a soul of determination | one

john wick x reader undertale au ; idiots to lovers <3 bored out of your mind, you drag your best friend, john, to go on a hike with you on mount ebott. who cares that it's a supposedly haunted mountain! those instagram pictures won't take themselves. until, of course, you fall through a hole, dragging him with you. ...whoops?

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a/n: yes this is an undertale au!! you don't need to know anything about the game to understand what's going on, since i'll be explaining everything anyway <33 literally no one asked for this lmao. this is unedited.

i. fallen down

There is a hole in the middle of the ground.

It must be almost a meter and a half wide, and thanks to the strange angle it’s at, you don’t see it.

John does though, and he (bless his heart) tries to pull you back to safety, but your foot has already slipped, and instead you two are falling, falling, falling into the abyss.

So much for a relaxing hike up Mount Ebott.

(As you fall, you briefly acknowledge that should you survive this fall, John will hold this over your head for the rest of your life. After ten seconds of falling with no signs of stopping, you come to terms that this is how you two will die. His hand in yours is warm, and you give it a tight squeeze. A shared glance. At least you’re not alone.)

You wake on a bed of flowers.

For a moment, you blink. Had you fallen asleep on the trail somewhere? You yawn and sit up, looking around at the darkness that surrounds you. 

Ah. Yes. You fell into a hole and dragged John with you. He must be thoroughly annoyed—wait. John. Where is he? Fuck, what if he was hurt? What if—

“Fuck.”

You sigh in relief, spotting John just a few inches away from you, almost hidden away by the vibrant golden yellow petals that covered him. Leaning over him, you brush some petals away from his face. “You okay?”

He nods, sitting up, eyes appraising you. “Yeah. You?”

“I���m okay,” you reply, looking around. “Jesus. Are we dead?”

You and John are right in the middle of the only patch of sunlight in the area. This is… a cave, you think. This is what caves look like on the internet. Yes. Mildly, you are freaked out by how dark everything seems to be. You squint as you look up at the hole above the two of you. Had you fallen through that?

“Are we dead?” You repeat faintly. “That’s really high up. How are we not dead?”

“I… don’t know.” John sounds uncertain, and it unsettles you that John—who is always prepared, who always knows what to do, who is the one person you’d bring to an abandoned island if you needed to survive—is uncertain. 

You laugh nervously. “What do you mean you don’t know?”

John looks down at his hands and the flowers the two of you have landed on. 

“Do you know what these flowers are?” You continue, desperate for literally any answer he could give you. He stares at them for a little longer before settling with: 

“I don’t recognize them.”

Okay, that’s it. You practically grab his face with both hands, tilting it from side to side as you look for any sort of injury. John stares at you in confusion, but lets you turn his head around regardless.

“Did you hit your head really hard?” You say worriedly. “We need to see a doctor.”

John gently pulls your hands away, giving them a light squeeze. “I feel fine. But we should get out of… here.”

“I think you have a concussion.” 

He rolls his eyes. “I don’t. I know what that feels like, and I’m telling you—I feel fine.”

For a few moments, the two of you just lock eyes with each other, with John still holding your hands. His eyes are a deep brown in this light, and you fall silent, thinking. Thinking about how pretty his eyes are, and how—

You blink.

Practically ripping your hands away from him, you stand up, cheeks aflame. Your lower back complains at the sudden motion, and you try not to grimace at how it aches. John follows suit, and the two of you brush off petals from your clothes.

You look at the ruined flowers mournfully. More than half of them were crushed beneath yours and John’s bodies. They must have broken your fall.

Flowers can’t break a ten-story fall, a voice in your head whispers, but you brush it off. How else could you have survived?

“We should find a way out before the sun sets,” John says, looking around the darkness. You nod, shuddering to think about how dangerous the mountain would be come nighttime. He takes your hand in his and the two of you walk around the edges of the cave, looking for an exit somewhere. The longer the two of you walk in silence, the more your dread rises. What if there’s no exit and you’re trapped here forever? What if no one finds you and you both die here? And it would have been all your fault, you think frantically. You shouldn’t have suggested to hike here; you couldn’t even go up a flight of stairs without feeling breathless!

Just as you’re about to succumb to another wave of panic, John halts all of a sudden, looking straight ahead. You open your mouth to say something, but it quickly disappears at the sight of… two pillars leading to a hallway? Suddenly whatever previous fears you had are trumped by something greater. Why the fuck are there greek-style pillars and a hallway in a cave?

“John,” you whisper, squeezing his hand. He looks on with a grim face, and you’re too fucking scared to even think about how handsome he looks even with so little light. “I don’t feel good about this.”

“I’ll keep you safe,” he says solemnly, looking into your eyes.

Goddamn if that doesn’t make your heart skip a beat. You nod, trusting him as he leads the two of you further into the darkness. The rough dirt beneath you gives way to smooth stone, and your footsteps echo softly. At this point you’re squeezing John’s hand so much you fear you’re rearranging his bones, but he says nothing. 

Another set of pillars await you two at the end of the hallway and you really might just throw up from sheer terror. You have never been particularly brave, and if John weren’t here with you, you know you’d be frozen in fear by the flowers still. 

John only pauses for a brief moment before marching on with a stiff lip, and you internally groan as he practically pulls you along with him.

The room before you is just as empty as everything else you’ve seen, but there’s another patch of sunlight that puts you at ease slightly. You look up as the two of you walk further in; the hole is still too high to reach, much less climb out of, but at least you aren’t walking around in complete darkness anymore.

There’s another golden flower in the center, like the ones you landed on. This one is bigger, though, and it’s strange that it’s moving so much. You narrow your eyes, about to let go of John’s hand to move closer when the flower turns to you. It fucking turns to you.

You shriek, practically jumping out of your skin as John pushes you back protectively.

The flower has a face. It has a fucking face, and it’s smiling at you. Good fucking god. You’ve never fainted in your life but you genuinely might pass out now. 

“Howdy! I’m Flowey. Flowey the flower!” It chirps, and you think you might shit yourself. Or pass out. Fuck, were you dead? Did you and John die from the fall and this is the afterlife? Your knees feel suspiciously weak, and you have to grab onto John’s thick hiking coat to keep yourself from falling to the ground. He holds a hand out to the side, shielding you.

Neither you nor John say anything, leaving the flower—Flowey?—to bounce side to side silently before continuing. (God. It bounces side to side? What the fuck is this, Plants vs. Zombies?)

“Hmm,” it hums. “You’re new to the Underground, aren’tcha?”

Your knees feel just a little bit stronger, and you peek at the flower from behind John. The fact that it’s still smiling is incredibly unsettling. It doesn’t even blink.

“Golly, you must be so confused,” it says. “Someone ought to teach you how things work around here!”

“I think we’ll pass,” John says carefully. “Where’s the exit?”

Flowey’s eye twitches. “So eager to leave?”

John says nothing.

“At least let me show her how to gain some LV,” Flowey says cheerfully, looking right at you. You swallow thickly, a wave of dread washing over you. “Stars know that you have more than enough,” it adds under its breath, side eyeing John.

John narrows his eyes. “LV?”

“Why, LOVE of course!” Flowey grins. “She has so little of it, and you have so much.”

“I am a hater.” You shrug, looking at John, at which he rolls his eyes. “How would I go about gaining some LOVE, anyway?”

“It’s simple,” Flowey says sagely. “Just stand still.”

A curling vine appears from the soil and you flinch, stepping closer to John. You feel a sudden pulling motion in your chest, and you whimper softly. This feels wrong. “Hey, maybe we should—”

Your words are cut off when your vision darkens, and all of a sudden there is a glowing green heart floating in front of you. A deep sense of wrongness floods your being, as if you’re not supposed to see this. Your knees feel weak, and you feel cold all of a sudden.

“What the fuck?” You mumble, looking up. Gone is the room you were in, and the three of you are in the middle of a black void. “What the fuck.”

John seems to be faring much worse. He has a grim expression on his face as he looks around, a deep red, almost maroon heart floating before him.

Flowey remains the same before the two of you. “See that heart in front of you? That’s your soul, the very culmination of your being.”

“The Catholics were right?” You whisper to John.

“Souls are not an exclusively Catholic notion,” John replies quietly, still looking at Flowey warily. 

“Ahem.” Flowey has a mildly annoyed expression on his face. “As I was saying, that heart is your soul. It starts off weak, but it can get strong if you gain a lot of LOVE.”

A white oblong flickers into existence before the two of you, roughly the size of your hand. It spins around in place, and you share a look with John. 

“I’ll share this… friendliness pellet with you, since you have so little LOVE.” Flowey explains, looking at you directly. “Just stay still, and let it come to you!”

The pellet flies towards you, and at the last possible moment, you side-step it, watching as it flies past you. Something felt off here, and you weren’t sure if you wanted to trust a talking flower.

“Hey, it missed!” Flowey smiles, a strain of annoyance in its tone. “Here, let me give you another one.”

“No thanks,” you laugh nervously, avoiding another pellet. John moves before you, blocking you from Flowey’s view. Because of this, you miss how Flowey’s expression drops completely, a sinister expression creeping up on its face. John stiffens before you, his hand moving closer to his hip until he remembers that he’s unarmed.

“Fine. We can do this the hard way,” Flowey says, the cheerfulness disappearing from its voice. A circle of pellets materialize around the two of you, and John steps closer to you. You’re frozen in place by some invisible force, and you can only watch as the pellets move closer.

“In this world, it’s kill or be killed,” Flowey snarls, looking into John’s eyes. “But you already know that, don’t you?”

“Fuck off, you creepy flower!” You snap, peering from behind John. The pellets move ever closer, and you brace for impact when—

“You miserable creature!” A feminine voice calls out. A fireball appears just a few feet away from you, and Flowey looks at it in terror before disappearing into the ground.

The black void fades away, revealing the room you were in. A… goat? A lady? A goat lady stands before you, a kind expression on her face. Her long fluffy ears flop by the side of her face, and the rich purple of her dress contrasts starkly against her white fur. You would be inclined to call her soft and cute and adorable if she wasn’t almost seven feet tall.

“Greetings, young ones. I am Toriel,” she smiles, her voice regal. “I am the Caretaker of the Ruins. I walk through here everyday in case someone has fallen down.”

You hesitantly introduce yourself, and John follows suit. 

“Well, I am glad to meet the both of you,” she says gently. “You are the first humans to fall down here in a long time. Come, I will guide you to the catacombs.”

She turns from the two of you and begins to walk away. You and John share another look, deciding to follow her when something clicks in your mind.

“You’re a monster.” You call out, and Toriel stops in her tracks.

She faces you with a surprised smile. “Why yes, my child.”

“You’re supposed to be a myth,” you say incredulously. “How are you real?”

“I just am,” Toriel chuckles. “I am unsurprised that we have been reduced to mere myths, however. It has been a very long time.”

John looks towards you curiously, and you explain. “There’s an old story that was told to me by my aunt. That there are monsters in Mount Ebott.”

Toriel only nods.

“Those who climb Mount Ebott never return,” you say faintly. “Because they fell here.”

John reaches for your hand, squeezing it assuringly. Toriel walks ahead, leaving the two of you to follow after her.

“I’m so sorry,” you whisper, but John only shakes his head.

“I’ll get you home,” John says quietly, walking forward, pulling you with him. “We’ll figure this out.”

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