#and then i have to remind myself that it's the same feeling as looking at topstitching

[northopalshore]

💍 Briede persona chart:

Northopalshore's Briede Persona chart

₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋.‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧ ₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋ ‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑

The Briede persona chart explains your natal Briede asteroid (19029) placements with more depth. If you are interested in women, it tells you about your wife ; usually their character going into & after marriage but still shows what their character is like in general. In a woman's chart, it tells them about themselves as a wife/after marriage. In this post specifically, I'll be analysing my own briede persona chart. Meant to be used as a guide and also my own theory based on observations. A prediction.

Briede Masterlist coming soon...

₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑

☆ Reminder: often times certain characteristics of your spouse/yourself will be seen through your perspective in the Briede (19029) & Groom (5129) persona chart. After all, it is still your chart.

Rising

Libra (°26 Taurus)

I'll appear very approachable and reasonable. Generally seeming very friendly and open minded. I will put a lot of effort into my appearance, making sure I look presentable at all times. Finding comfort in how I look. People will notice me for my calm and down to earth demeanor, as well as dressing in a way that complements my appearance.

Planets

Sun in the 7th house, Taurus (°19 Libra)

I'll be very focused on the marriage & relationship. Being somewhat of a peacemaker and the problem solver, decision maker, planned and adviser.

Mercury in the 7th house, Aries (°26 Taurus)

I'll be more stern when it comes to making decisions, often being the first to address any issue that may arise in the relationship. I'll accept compromises as long as they are fair and justifiable to both me and my partner. When it comes to communication, I will take the lead.

Mars in the 5th house, Pisces (°6 Virgo)

After marriage, I will shift a lot of my time and energy into creativity and artistic projects. It's still work, but I will be very passionate about it. Working on something I truly believe in wholeheartedly.

Moon in the 8th house, Gemini (°13 Aries)

I might be a little fussy and get overly attached to certain things after marriage. Being very obsessed with my own thoughts and worldview. I'll be somewhat clingy and protective over my spouse & family as well. Overthinking a lot about very random things. I will not be able to hide my thoughts, mood & emotional distress. I might grow to be very cautious or paranoid as well when put under pressure. But on a regular day, my thoughts function very well (i.e mercury in the 7th house).

Being a wife will add more complexity to the way that I naturally process my emotions. Having to think more and control my impulses.

Venus in the 8th house, Gemini (° 0)

My love life will be something that changes me deeply. It will open a lot of doors for me, test my creativity, & force me to try new things (Gemini). Teaching me to love wholeheartedly but at the same time be able to let loose & release control.

I've been reading into vedic astrology lately. And a lot of it really aligns to what I've been analysing in my western charts as well. I have Rahu in the 1st house & ketu in the 7th. Meaning that in order to feel complete in this life, I must focus on myself & my ambitions. To let go of control over matters relating to my spouse and relationships, accepting it as it comes (ketu in the 7th house).

The 7th house however, is a house of desire. It's natural to have a strong pull or curiosity concerning matters of the 3rd/7th/11th house. In my case, the more I try to manipulate or control the fire, the more severely I am burnt. The lesson here is to let go & love without the need to be obsessed.

Jupiter retrograde in the 12th house, Libra (°9 Sagittarius)

Years after the marriage, there is this sense of clarity that I may gain from being around my FS, our friends & family. Feeling this sense of contentment. Suddenly everything will make sense, and the dots are connected. This is something I'll likely keep to myself for the most part.

Saturn in the 9th house, Cancer (°22 Capricorn)

My studies could be hindered by my marriage life. Changing my initial plans to pursue some form of education or a different career path. This is something that may not go that well with my parents at first (they insist that I go through masters & PhD as well in the current path I'm taking). I may have to make a tough choice regarding this in the future.

Neptune in the 4th house, Aquarius (°17 Leo)

Neptune can symbolize one's greatest motivation or ideals in marriage but also how they may relax or unwind, lessons that I could learn after marriage. In my case, it seems that I'll be taught how to truly let my imagination run wild. Finally being given the opportunity to nurture the dorky animated version of myself. Also means living away from my parents or birth place.

Pluto retrograde in the 2nd house, Sagittarius (°24 Pisces)

Money. Money is... Well, I might feel rather guilty about money at first. Compared to my FS, I won't be able to support him the way that he does me financially i.e I won't be much help at first (I have Jupiter in Libra in the 2nd house in my Groom persona chart, this man does not need me for money lmao). This is something I might try to solve myself or hide from him so I don't become a burden, even if he does want to help it just doesn't feel right to be fully dependent on him financially. I'll still long for financial independence. My financial situation will also change going into marriage.

Uranus in the 5th house, Pisces (°10 Capricorn)

Shifting careers. Taking on a lot of new responsibilities, taking part in more important events, trying new things, gaining new interest. Making a career out of a passion project. Taking more creative liberty in my career.

Chiron retrograde in the 4th house, Aquarius (°3 Gemini)

I might be rather fearful of becoming a mother. Having doubts on whether or not I am fitting or ready to become one. Contemplating the changes that it will bring into my life. Knowing that when it does happen, nothing will be the same. There might be something related to a miscarriage as well, carrying guilt or a burden surrounding fertility or worthiness.

₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑

Asteroids

Starr (4150) in the 8th house, Taurus (°29 Leo)

Gaining sudden fame/recognition, hate, or unnecessary attention after marriage or as a wife. As I said it's likely that my identity will be intertwined with my love life and people may have .. their own strong opinion on that. It's likely that a certain reputation will stick with me as a wife, although I'm not really sure what that could be yet.

Briede (19029) in the 9th house, Gemini (°29 Leo)

In marriage, I will act as the guide. Perhaps my FS will often come to me for advice or just to vent his thoughts and things he may be passionate about. I might be a bit more extroverted around my spouse or after marriage, being more bold and taking the lead. A little dramatic, and animated.

Groom (5129) in the 6th house, Pisces (°25 Aries)

My FS will be very invested in his career as well. Perhaps branching out and doing things that align more with what he believes in, his true "expressions". He'll be very determined and hardworking. He may take somewhat of a backseat or supporting role for some reason, going with whatever plan that I come up with. Trusting the process. That being said, he's still anything but lazy. Still very eager to start something new.

North node in the 6th house, Aries (°22 Capricorn)

Another °22 ? Damn. Literally working with him will change my life. For better or for worst? We'll see. We may be working on something significant to both of us, something that we are both passionate about and believe in.

Juno (3) in the 6th house, Aries (°13 Aries)

In the in any persona chart (love centric) Juno & union tells you where you both come together to create or work on the most often in your relationship. Here, it means the same thing I've been saying before; working together as a team when it comes to work or daily life. Perhaps it would be odd to see us apart at work or when going somewhere. Even if we are apart, people will still bring up the other "Hey Gaia, where's your husband?".

Ex: My mom & dad both work best together as parents/at home, they always debate their decisions w each other. They're both homebodies lmao. My mom's Briede PC Juno is in the 4th house, my dad's is in the 8th house. Both are in Libra/Libra degrees.

Union (1585) in retrograde in the 12th house, Libra (°21 Sagittarius)

I may still keep certain doubts about our union or future to myself, letting go of control over the outcome of the relationship whether it will last the way I want, or go the way I expected. We will both be together somewhat behind the scenes. The inner workings of the relationship is something I may prefer to keep private.

₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹

Aspects

Grand Trine (Libra Jupiter 12th house, Gemini Moon 8th house, Aquarius Neptune 4th house)

There is this strong underlying feeling of both contentment and spiritual understanding. Being able to really sit back and feel the changes as well as the things in my life from multiple perspectives. This gives me the vibe of a "guru" in a way. My intuition, my thoughts and feelings are all in alignment. Overseeing things.

Sun conjunct Boda (1487)

My marriage is a key part of my identity. Literally. Having a lot of pride, being protective and being seen as a wife. When people think of me, they also think of my marriage. It's in the 7th house, which means to me, my marriage means the world to me.

Mercury conjunct North Node

There is going to be something significant with the way that I think or speak. Perhaps my mind will be very influenced by the thought of the future. Perhaps I will be taking, negotiating, advocating much more after marriage. It makes sense looking at my MC persona chart. Something similar to Brigitte Bardot. It's in the 6th/7th house, I will be prioritizing my work and connections. Speaking my mind. Starting something that is part of my life destiny.

Pluto trine North Node

Change is & will continue to be a common factor in my life. Since it's related to the 2nd (Pluto) & 6th House (NN) this change will further enhance my career. Finding ways to embed "change" into what I do, creating something new and impactful for my future.

Venus conjunct Starr (4150)

My love life may be very well known. People will recognize me for my charms and my interests. Both are in the 8th house , something about my love life is a big influence to those around me. Mostly concerning their opinion of me. The "shock" factor is what a lot of people will associate with my love life or relationships. There is this strange appeal or obsession around it.

Mars conjunct Uranus

I'll be more experimental after marriage, being more curious, trying new things, going to new places. I will likely be given a lot of room to do whatever it is that I want. Be it working on strange hobbies or projects that come to mind. I may do a lot of... Strange things artistically lmao. Maybe I'll finally perform a burlesque dance or start that indie game project I've been wanting to do. Whatever it is, I'll be doing a lot of new things. It's in the 5th house, both are in work centric degrees (Virgo & Capricorn) in Pisces. Something related to performance and art or the creative world.

Lilith opposite Chiron

Lilith in the 10th & Chiron in the 4th. I might feel like I am being held back by certain things going on in my home life in the future. Perhaps I may find it difficult to fully express myself or act independently without support or backup.

Groom square Pluto

There will be a lot of changes & challenges that my FS & I have to face. Being together will not be easy as factors like distance, misunderstandings, self-centeredness and outside factors can come clawing at us, but as far as I am concerned a relationship is not without its trials & tribulations. It happens to every relationship, how & when it manifests are the only dividing factors.

Saturn trine Groom, Groom trine Midheaven

My FS will be a driving force of long-term support for me. As rocky as things may get he'll still be a reliable support system.

Saturn conjunct Midheaven

Man. Work is literally the highlight of my marriage life. Through marriage, I am able to reach greater heights, success and career stability. Literally having the support to do the things that I aim for, reaching goals and a certain status in the long-run. Ketu in the 7th house & Saturn DK hits hard(vedic). "Your spouse is your greatest supporter".

₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑

Thank you for reading ♡

@northopalshore

@northopalshore briede 2024 all rights reserved.

[honeytonedhottie]

decentering men and recentering urself⋆.ೃ࿔*:･💅🏽💓

the secret to decentering men and not having ur entire world revolving around them (bcuz it should be revolving around you, duh) is having a fulfilling life. it makes me ICK so bad when im watching a video or reading a post and im rly loving it, and then it'll find SOME way to make it revolve around men. like can we not?…💬🎀

WHY WE CENTER THE OPPOSITE SEX ;

a lot of people find themselves centering their lives around the opposite sex in an attempt to fill a void within themselves. they do it because they aren't happy with themselves or their lives, or maybe its learned behavior. whatever the reason is, its NOT hot.

some things that someone who centers men might think are "oh my life is so boring, maybe it would be spiced up if i got with a man" or "maybe it'll bring some excitement into my day" like EUGHHH. obviously the solution is to find ways to make our lives fulfilling but how do we do that? and how do we get to the root cause and squash this self sabotaging behavior?

SELF AWARENESS ;

if u have nothing going on for u, ofc ur gonna be energetically desperate and accepting anything and EVERYTHING. practice self awareness and try to get to the root cause of why u center men through things like shadow work, therapy, or just straight up having an honest conversation with urself cuz i swear it helps.

when you make the conscious effort to build ur dream life you'll notice that people that are on the same mindset as you will vibe with the REAL you. the need to fake/adjust urself to fit in with other people will dissipate because ur fitting into ur own standards and ur connections will be more meaningful because of it.

TAKE UR POWER BACK ;

no ones actions should ruin ur day or make u upset for more then a day (even less) cuz its YOUR world. 💕🍰

make time for YOU, doll. plan self care routines for urself every week. doing face masks, journalling, vision boarding, WHATEVER U LIKE TO DO. making time for urself reminds u that ur the main character of ur life so u dont have to settle for crumbs.

stop giving that power to someone else and dictate how u feel, NOT the actions of a significant other or the opposite sex or anybody. the reason why its important to make sure that ur the center of ur own life is so that you can be happy and fulfilled regardless of if there is a man or if there isnt a man present. so the objective is to decenter men -> and then put yourself at the center

GET A HOBBY ;

find something to make ur life fulfilling. pursue ur OWN interests and try out different hobbies if ur unsure of what ur interests are yet. cultivate ur world to the point where it GLEAMS with perfection and then do a little extra. build a life that u love so much that whether u get male attention or validation doesnt even matter cuz their opinions have little to no relevance 💀

challenge yourself: next time you catch yourself thinking, ‘would a guy like this?’ flip it and ask urself "hey, do i like this?" start checking with yourself first instead of checking with others.

MAKING THE DECISION TO DECENTER MEN ;

decentering men simply means that ur deciding to no longer think, feel, act, dress, or plan ur life around a man or for the validation of any man…💬🎀

relationships will actually get BETTER when u decenter the opposite sex. cuz ur not looking for someone to compete with and ur whole on ur own. this sets the stage for balance and mutual respect and THATS hot.

you can be in a relationship and still decenter men. decentering men simply means that you are the priority, not the relationship. how can we tell if we're decentering men or not? here are a few questions to help you know if u are ->

if i did not care about looking good to the opposite sex what would i actually like to wear?

if i did not get married, how could i create the best and most abundant life for myself?

what hobbies/interests do i have that dont involve being around men/have male attention as a component of it?

[moonlightdreamzz]

late nights — bang chan, hyunjin, wooyoung, and niki. ♡

it feels so good to be seen and loved, especially after an exhausting day.

bang chan

truthfully, you don’t even know how you made it here in one piece—here, being chris’ studio. utterly exhausted doesn’t even begin to cover it, but the day is finally over, and you’re holding onto that small grace. not like you have much of a choice, right?

your eyes flutter shut for just a second as you lean against the door, the light thud startling you back to the moment. you laugh quietly at yourself, embarrassed by how ready your body was to believe this was the end of the day, before finally pushing the door open.

you and chris share the same curse: you work too hard, and far too much. so, it doesn’t surprise you to see him exactly as you left him this morning—headphones on, hunched over his computer, eyes flickering across the screen. even from the doorway, you can hear the bass pumping loud enough to feel it in your chest.

you weren’t planning on saying anything. the couch beside his desk had your name written all over it, and all you wanted was to curl up and let sleep take over until he was ready to leave. but somehow, you find enough strength to call out to him.

“baby.”

it’s almost immediate, the way his head snaps toward you, his eyes softening as soon as they land on yours. it’s like you’re the only thing in the world that matters. his headphones are off in seconds, tossed carelessly onto the desk. that alone tells you everything—he must think you look even worse than you feel.

he doesn’t say anything, just opens his arms wide, inviting you in. and how could you ever say no to him? you drag your feet across the room, collapsing into his lap without a second thought. his arms wrap around you tightly, and for the first time all day, you feel like you can finally exhale.

“you had a long day, didn’t you?” he murmurs, lips brushing your ear before pressing a soft kiss there.

all you can do is nod, burying yourself deeper into his neck. he smells just like he did this morning, warm and familiar, and it makes your chest ache in the best way. neither of you moves for what feels like forever, but it’s the kind of forever you could get used to. his touch says everything words can’t—how much he missed you, how much he hates seeing you this tired, how much he loves you.

you want to tell him you should go home, that you need a proper bed, but you can’t. you know how important his work is, and you’d never forgive yourself for making him feel guilty about staying.

but then his voice breaks the silence, low and soft. “i think i’m done for the night.”

your head snaps up, searching his face for any sign he’s joking. “no, baby. i’m fine. keep working,” you say quickly, even as your body betrays you and leans back into his chest. the guilt creeps up before you can stop it.

his thumb brushes your cheek, and his eyes lock on yours with so much tenderness it nearly knocks the wind out of you. “the only thing i want to do is go home, run you a bath, and hold you while you fall asleep. this can wait until tomorrow. you’re the most important thing to me, and i need you to know that.”

he kisses you softly, and when he pulls back, there’s a smile tugging at his lips. “besides,” he adds with a wink, “if i don’t take care of you, who’s going to remind me to take care of myself?”

hyunjin

you and your man were both terribly sleepy babies. no matter how hard you tried to stay awake for each other on late nights, one of you always gave in first. it was a routine by now: a simple “i love you” text signaling surrender to the pull of a memory foam mattress or an irresistibly soft couch. there was never any guilt, just understanding.

but this month? this month has been unrelenting. you’ve been in full girl boss mode, pushing through deadlines and back-to-back meetings, while hyunjin has been caught up in the chaos of a comeback. you can’t even remember the last time you sat down together for dinner, watched a show, or just existed in the same moment. you miss it. you miss him.

when his schedule was calmer, hyunjin stayed with you as much as he could. but now, the dorm has him locked down. as you punch in your door code, you sigh, already feeling the emptiness of your apartment. you wish he were here—even if it meant finding him passed out on the couch, mouth slightly open, barely coherent as you whispered him awake and tugged him to bed

tonight, though, there’s no detour. no lingering in the kitchen or collapsing on the couch. you head straight to your room, already peeling off your jacket as you close the door behind you. exhaustion weighs heavy on you, but something feels… off.

your heart stutters. someone’s here.

you freeze. open your eyes, idiot, you scold yourself. slowly, you do, and your breath catches in your throat

there, glowing like a dream, stands hyunjin. a bouquet of roses in one hand and a bottle of wine in the other, his smile stretching so wide his eyes crinkle shut. he’s radiant, like he stepped out of your imagination, but he’s real.

“baby,” you whisper, your voice trembling with disbelief. “what… how are you here? i thought—”

you don’t get the words out, too stunned to string them together. he steps closer, slow and steady, placing the roses and wine into your hands before cupping your face and kissing you, soft and sure. his lips feel like coming home

“i missed you,” he murmurs, his voice low and warm against your ear. “it’s been hell not being able to see you, touch you, hold you. i’ve been trying so hard to wait, but when i called you this morning and heard how tired you sounded… i had to be here. i couldn’t let you come home to an empty apartment tonight.

you melt into his arms, burying your face in his chest as his words sink in. “i knew it,” you say suddenly, pulling back just enough to meet his eyes, a teasing smirk spreading across your face. “you really can’t stay away from me. i’m irresistible, huh?”

he bursts out laughing, the sound warm and rich, making his whole body shake as he leans his forehead against yours. “shut up,” he grins, but his eyes are so full of love you can feel it in your bones.

The he cups your face again, pressing his lips back to yours in a kiss that feels like a promise. this one is different—hungrier, deeper, filled with everything he’s been holding back. his right hand gently takes the flowers and wine from you, tossing them onto the couch as if they’re the least important thing in the world.

“you’ve been stressed too, baby,” you murmur between kisses, your hands sliding up his chest as he pulls you closer. “you want me to make it better? take your mind off everything?”

“please,” he breathes, the single word trembling with desperation.

and that’s all it takes for the two of you to let go of everything else—the stress, the distance, the long days apart. tonight, it’s just you and him.

wooyoung

i know that the last conversation we had didn’t end on a good note. and i know you’re still trying to process everything going on with us and probably don’t want to see me. but I can’t help but feel like you’re exhausted and need something to take your mind off of everything you have going on right now. regardless of what we’re going through rn, i love you and I’ll always be here to make things better.

your heart aches as you read wooyoung’s text.

i’m outside. take your time. i’ll wait for you.

you didn’t think you’d hear from him tonight—not after the way your last conversation had ended. but that’s wooyoung, always showing up when you need him most, even when things between you feel fragile and uncertain.

you grab your jacket and step outside, the chill in the air catching you off guard. but then you see him, leaning against his car with his arms crossed, his hair a little messy, his expression soft despite the exhaustion etched into it.

his eyes meet yours, and for a moment, it feels like the world stills.

without a word, he opens the car door for you. as you slide into the passenger seat, you feel the familiar warmth of his presence settle over you like a blanket. he gets in, shutting the door gently, and the two of you sit there, bathed in the soft glow of the dashboard lights.

“you didn’t have to come,” you whisper, your voice barely audible.

he turns to you, his gaze steady, his hand already reaching for yours. “yes, i did.” his tone is quiet but firm, like he needs you to believe it

his thumb rubs gentle circles against your skin, and it’s enough to unravel the tight knot in your chest.

“i know it’s been rough lately,” he says softly, his voice thick with emotion. “but no matter what we’re going through, i can’t stand the thought of you sitting at home feeling this way. you don’t have to go through this alone. i’m here. always.”

you close your eyes, his words sinking into the deepest parts of you.

he leans over, pulling you into his arms, and it’s like you’re a piece of a puzzle snapping into place. his embrace is so warm, so full of everything he can’t quite say, and you don’t realize how much you needed it until you’re here, breathing him in.

“you’re freezing,” he murmurs, pressing a kiss to your temple. “i should’ve brought a blanket.”

you let out a soft laugh, your breath brushing against his collarbone. “you’re the blanket.”

he smiles against your hair, holding you a little tighter. “good. then i’m not letting go.”

for a long time, you just sit there, his arms wrapped around you, his hand gently tracing soothing patterns along your back. it’s so quiet, but the silence is full of him—his love, his care, his determination to make sure you feel safe, even when things between you aren’t perfect.

“thank you for coming,” you whisper after a while, your voice muffled against his chest.

“i’ll always come,” he replies, his lips brushing against your forehead. “no matter what’s happening. you’re my person.”

you pull back just enough to look at him, your eyes meeting his, and in that moment, it feels like everything might actually be okay. whatever else you have to figure out, whatever else you have to say, you can face it together.

for now, this is enough. this is everything.

niki

the studio was quiet now, the kind of quiet that made you feel how tired you really were. your body ached, your mind felt heavy, and the only thing keeping you upright was the cool press of the mirror at your back.

you closed your eyes, just for a second, and let out a sigh.

“you always look like you’re about to fall apart after practice,” a familiar voice teased, pulling you out of your thoughts.

your eyes snapped open, and when you saw him standing there in the doorway, you actually laughed out loud.

“niki?” you said, your voice pitching higher in disbelief. “what the—how did you even get in here?”

he grinned, leaning against the doorframe like he owned the place, hands stuffed casually into his hoodie pockets. “i have my ways.”

“your ways?” you repeated, still laughing, though your exhaustion made it sound a little delirious. “what, did you sneak past security?”

he shrugged, his grin widening. “you’d be surprised what a little charm can do.”

“you’re ridiculous,” you muttered, shaking your head, though you couldn’t stop the smile tugging at your lips.

niki stepped into the room then, pulling a takeout bag from behind his back like it was some big reveal. “anyway, i figured you might be hungry. you were going on and on about this the other day, so…”

you blinked at him, your chest tightening. “you remembered that?”

niki rolled his eyes, but there was a hint of a blush creeping up his neck. “obviously. i’m not as clueless as you think.”

he walked over and sat down beside you, his legs stretching out across the floor. the bag landed in your lap, and the smell alone was enough to make your stomach growl.

“you didn’t have to,” you murmured, though you were already pulling the container out.

“yeah, well,” he said, leaning back against the mirror with a shrug, “i wanted to.”

you looked at him, really looked at him, and for a moment, you forgot how exhausted you were. his face was calm, but his eyes were soft, like he was seeing you in a way no one else ever had.

“thanks, niki,” you said quietly.

he waved it off like it was nothing, but the tips of his ears were pink, and you knew him well enough to know what that meant.

“you worked hard today,” he said after a beat, his voice softer now. “but you always do.”

you smiled, but it felt bittersweet. “sometimes it doesn’t feel like enough.”

niki’s gaze sharpened, and he leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “it is,” he said firmly. “you are.”

the words hung in the air, heavy and meaningful, and you didn’t know what to say. so you didn’t. you just opened the container, took a bite, and let the warmth of the food—and his presence—melt away the edges of your day.

he didn’t say anything else, just stayed there beside you, close enough that your shoulders brushed when one of you moved.

and maybe you were both too scared to say it out loud, too scared to ruin whatever this was, but in that moment, you knew: he was your safe place. and maybe, just maybe, you were his too.

[liquidcatt]

your boyfriend writes a letter to come to terms with your death

cw: angst, maybe ooc, slight comfort, mention of car accident, grieving process, no happy ending, implied s*icide, lots of tears are shed

My dear Y/N,

It's been a few years since your passing. I struggled to write this so I apologize if it sounds like I’m rambling. I want to get this off my chest right now before I regret not doing it later. 

Before I met you, I was not a fan of Christmas. Like, at all. It brought back memories from my childhood. Memories that reminded me of a different time before life showed its ugly face. Memories that I use to look back on with contempt and melancholy. Memories that honestly I would wish to forget. Memories that basically made me not want anything to do with it at all.

I remember it like it was yesterday: I got invited to an early Christmas party by one of my friends and I saw you being dragged through the crowd by your sister, wanting to introduce me to you. I was aloof with you at first as you weren’t too into the holiday spirit either to even have a casual chat with me. But as we talked, however, I felt myself being drawn to you. Like someone was telling me that you were one. And they were right. Some say it was a slow burn romance in the making, but screw it, I didn’t care. Seeing your face turn bright red when I asked for your number before you left so we could keep contact was the highlight of the night. Honestly it felt like I was in high school all over again; asking the cute girl next to me in class if she wanted to go out with me. I don’t regret that night and I’m glad you didn’t too. 

Every Christmas with you was so different, I was so happy to share it with you. We’d watch all those cheesy Christmas movies and sometimes do little commentaries on how stupid they were. Mariah Carey’s “All I Want for Christmas Is You” was always blasting on the radio as we drove home from dinner. On certain nights, I’d get into my winter clothes excitedly so we could go outside to see the snowflakes fall from the sky, feeling their wet kisses land on my cheeks. Your family was so fun to be around. Your parents were a little old-fasioned, but I was happy they welcomed me with open arms. I even got to meet some of your young cousins; they were so adorable, I hoped that we would've started a family as well. I will always cherish those memories of you. The memories that made me remember my childhood and how much I took them for granted. I wish I could tell myself that things would get better and that I would find my soulmate. 

But as they say, life showed its ugly face yet again, only this time it took you away from me forever. Your mother woke me up one day, screaming on the phone and told me that you had gotten into a car accident. I can still hear the sound of her crying echo in my mind. I hate it so much. It was raining heavily and they said your car had slipped off the road and crashed into a nearby tree. You died on impact. Seeing your body in the coffin was like something out of a nightmare. It had to be right? My mind kept screaming that you were just asleep and that this wasn’t real. But it was. You were dead. I wanted to console your parents, but I held my tongue and stayed silent. After that, things were never the same.

To ease the pain, I watched all the movies that we use to snuggle together. I’m listening to your favorite Christmas songs over and over again, singing my heart out like you did. The ugly sweater you gave me one year to match yours is still hidden away somewhere in my closet. I have no desire to wear it unfortunately. My friends try their best to cheer me up during this time, like visiting the places you used to frequent and eating at your favorite restaurants. They’d also check up on me to make sure that I don’t do anything stupid. Yeah right. Like I would ever. I’m too much of a coward to even try. I’d visit your family once in a while to chat with them. Your parents told me that I was always welcome in their home, but it does little to heal the gaping wound in my heart. They let me have some of your belongings as they didn’t have the heart to get rid of them. The grief of losing you took a toll and I can see it on their faces. You and your mother look so alike, it was almost like talking to you again. The wrinkles on her face get worse and worse every day. I swear she looks like she had been crying for a long time and I can’t blame her. Your dad is a hard-working man. He worked a lot to make sure you got everything you wanted. And your sister, I never got to thank her for introducing me to you. She has no idea how much I would’ve loved to get married. The more I see them, the more guilt I feel festering in my throat. I feel like I let them down; I felt like I let you down. 

But that’s not what I’m writing this letter though. No, I’m writing this letter to tell you that these past few years were some of the best and I wish that I had more time to spend them with you. The truth is Y/N, you made me love Christmas again. And I miss it so much. I miss you. I miss being excited to see the presents nestled under the tree waiting to be opened. I miss the ornaments on the tree you would decorate as they swayed slightly like they were waving. I miss holding your hand as we walk the streets at dusk admiring the Christmas lights hanging on the houses and shops. I miss making cookies with you even if they didn’t always turn out perfect. I miss falling asleep next to you on the couch as we struggled to stay awake to see Santa. As long as I was with you, everything was okay. You were what Christmas was always about: being with the people you love.

What’s even the point of celebrating it anymore? I know that you would tell me that you wouldn't have wanted this. You’d hold me in your arms cupping my face to wipe away the tears, saying you wouldn't want me to be sad. No way in hell that would you have let me stay cooped up in my room either, shut away from the world. You’d tell me to be happy and remember you in a positive light. You’d want me to celebrate Christmas with everyone who loves and cares about him. But you aren’t here to tell me any of that. You're gone. And I have to accept that.

As I’m writing this, it’s only a few more hours until Christmas. This year has gone by so fast. I bought a small, white cake at the last minute at some store nearby that's open till midnight. It was the cheapest one I could afford as I’m short on cash right now. It’s plain, but simple, just how you would’ve liked it. You didn’t care if anything I bought was expensive or not. 

I still live in the apartment we shared together. This ‘home’ that was once full of radiance and mirth for a time is now replaced with a dark, melancholy ambience. It’s so different without you. I have trouble sleeping because I instinctively turn and expect to see you laying next to me. The other side of the bed is cold, I miss looking at your peaceful face while you slept. I took a picture of the cake and sent it to your family and some of my friends. They all loved it and I’m sure you would’ve too. 

There’s so much more I want to say, but this is all I'm able to get out. If you're looking down from heaven right now, always know that I’ll always keep a piece of you in my heart until my dying day. I love you and that feeling will never change. Merry Christmas Y/N. 

Love you always, Your boyfriend

Kageyama, Tendou, Tsukishima, Akaashi, Suna, Kuroo, Ushijima (+ your fav)

a/n: One of my managers at work had a daughter who died that loved Christmas and it was never the same for her :’(

[morsobaby]

Important reminder that malnourishment, while often can be visible on the outside, is a STATE, not a LOOK. Fat people can be malnourished. Malnourishment ≠ skinny. Malnourishment means a person isn't getting all the necessary nutrients their body needs to keep itself healthy and energized. Already fat people will not automatically become skinny if they become malnourished, for the exact same reasons that many fat people can't/wont/have difficulty becoming skinny in the first place. Which is normal. It varies by person.

We need to abolish the idea that you can tell a person's health by whether they're fat or not.

Speaking for myself, I've actually become fatter even though I'm malnourished (due to parental control, disability and mental illness). This is because 1. the foods easily available to me in my current condition are often high calorie and fatty - partly because I crave more calories and fats due to my imbalanced diet and exhaustion. And 2. Because my ability crashed heavily within the last two years and I don't have enough energy to exercise regularly, or do so without pain and exhaustion.

Malnourishment is so much more than weight. It's lack of fibres, vitamins, essential nutrients, iron, and much more. It's Eating just enough to not feel hungry, instead of eating so you feel satisfied and full.

[luckyyyduckyyy]

HO HO HO, MERRY CHRISTMASSSSS AND HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!! @froppu I am your secret santa! I hope you have a very whimsical and joyous day! <333

OH! I ALMOST FORGOT! Quick! Draw me a mustache! The nutcracker has a mustache in the movie! This needs to be PERFECT!

I quite like having a scepter, but it's a bit small for me... Do you think one of the children would like it after we're done? Or maybe we can make a bigger one, just for keeps..?

After a night of binging many Christmas movies together to get into the holiday spirit, Sun and Moon surprisingly shared the same sentiment; they loved the Nutcracker! Specifically the Barbie version, as they found the characters so fun and endearing!

That andddd while the elegance of the original was endearing, their attention spans seemed to be too shot to sit through the whole thing. Sun blamed it on their code being constantly changed, while Moon insisted it was just part of working in childcare. Needless to say they were very happy to hear you brought multiple versions.

Finding out through the usual post-movie "review" that it was not only your favorite Christmas movie, but also a movie many of the kids may know, they immediately wanted to get all dressed up and put on a short play based off it for Christmas Day! They can't wait to see everyone's faces, and yours too of course; now all they need is their favorite assistant to help them get all set up. <3

vvv Close Ups and Yapping for Frop! vvv

Close Ups

Helloooo!!! I hope you enjoyed the art! <3

I hope the sona turned out well, I am not the best at drawing people and so I tend to draw pretty cartoony when it comes to them, so I leaned into my cartoonier style for this one! They're very cute and I love the DCA themed sleeves. And the bows!!! Ah the bows are wonderful, I had to keep them on the costumes, they're just so iconic! (Also I love your moon design, idk what it is but you drew him so cute in the ref, his colors are refreshing, and I feel like he's secretly a sweetheart uaghhhh)

I couldn't help myself but make the image based off of the Barbie Nutcracker the moment I saw it was your favorite Christmas film, as I love that movie too! (Making this also reminded me how I had a crush on the Nutcracker when I was younger too, so thanks lol /pos)

While the DCA being separate animatronics aren't cannon, I wanted to do this idea anyway, so!!! Two boyos!!! Looking amazing in some nutcracker outfits ✨✨✨

Moon as the Rat King and Sun as the Nutcracker respectively :3

Have an amazing day Frop! And enjoy your holidays!!! I hope you receive a many a gifts. <333

[lortsyall]

Echoes of Eywa's Child.

chapter 2.

(Neteyam x Human!Reader series)

Pending...Pending...

Date: August 10th,2170.

Location: Marui,High Camp,Mons Veritatis,Hallelujah Mountains,Pandora.

Time: 1:56 PM.

Life had always demanded more of me. As the eldest son of Toruk Makto the 6th, I was born into expectations as heavy as the mountains, molded by a legacy I had no choice but to carry. For as long as I could remember, my path was laid before me—protector, warrior, leader,big brother. It was a path carved in blood and sacrifice, one I couldn’t veer from even if I wanted to.

The war had changed everything. When the RDA returned when I was only 15, they came with the same greed, the same hunger to strip Eywa’s creation of its breath. Their machines burned forests and poisoned rivers, their soldiers brought death with cold precision. But the war wasn’t just an enemy out there—it had carved itself into me.

I’d come closer to death than I care to admit. Fleeing to the Metkayina clan with my family,away from Quaritch and his puppets,was traumatizing,to say the least.

I always fit in the Omatikaya clan. I was already respected by so many clan leaders across the globe,already seen as a strong-willed,responsible and noble young warrior. The perfect next Olo'eyktan in line. But here...at sea...I was too stubborn to learn the ways of the Metkayina,scared I might lose myself. My ancestors. My traditions. The forest...Everything.

Sooner or later though,you always have to wake up back to reality. The RDA’s ships had pursued us relentlessly, their weapons tearing through the sea and air like the rage of a storm. After saving my siblings and our friend,Tsireya,my brother insisted on saving Spider as well.

I'll admit,I followed my mother's steps in distancing myself away from him as the years went by,though the brotherly bond we have carried ever since childhood lingered like a lost memory. Plus,I couldn't deny Lo'ak anything. Not in that moment.

As soon as we turned our backs to jump into the water,though...I felt it.

I’d hit the water hard, the force ripping the breath from my lungs. I fought to surface, but the panic, the crushing weight of the sea—it almost won.

All I could hear were Lo'ak's desperate cries pulling me on an ilu as he dragged me back to shore,along with the others. When I woke up, the first thing I felt was pain—white-hot and searing, burning across my chest where shrapnel had torn through flesh. The Tsahìk saved me, but she couldn’t erase the scar, jagged and cruel, that now ran from my collarbone to just above my heart,nor the memory that came with it. A bitter reminder of how close I’d come to losing everything.

That scar has stayed with me, a mark of survival, but also of failure. I should’ve been stronger, faster, better. I’m alive, but at what cost? The memory of my siblings’ terror, my parents’ fear—it’s a weight I still carry, even in moments of peace.

Sometimes,I still hear my mother's screams late at night. It's terrifying.

And now, the war feels like a constant shadow, lingering even in the quiet. I’ve learned to keep my thoughts guarded, my fears buried. We're back in the forest,thankfully,but we still live in the Hallelujah Mountains. The clan looks to me for strength, for guidance. They see a warrior who has proven himself time and time again. They don’t see the cracks beneath, the moments when I wonder if I’ve given too much of myself to a fight that may never truly end.

I’m of age now. Been for some time. I went through all the rites of passage,starting with becoming the youngest Omatikaya to make a clean kill on the Sturmbeest hunt,going through Iknimaya,and surviving Uniltaron,the Dream Hunt. After transferring into adulthood, an Omatikaya Na'vi has two things left to do: craft a bow from the wood of the fallen Hometree,and find a mate. Yet I've checked only one thing on the list,and I guess it's obvious which one I'm talking about.

I get it. I'm 19 years old now. Old enough that the elders murmur about a mate, about settling down and adding to the clan’s numbers. My parents don’t pressure me—at least not directly—but I see it in my father’s proud nods, my mother’s quiet glances. They’re waiting for me to choose, to find someone who will stand beside me as I carry the mantle of our people. Not to mention,my brother has already been mated to Tsireya,and some people among the clan are...nosy, to say the least.

But how can I think of mates when my mind is a battlefield? When every time I look at the stars, I see the faces of those we’ve lost? Love feels like a luxury I can’t afford, a vulnerability I can’t risk. I can feel my father breathing down my neck,slowly preparing me with Olo'eyktan training. I don't even want to be the next chief. Not anymore. I’ve buried the idea so deep within me that even the thought of connection feels foreign,and I can't remember the first time I really opened up to someone. They already have their image of me.

Fierce young warrior. Next chief in line. Son of Toruk Makto. Great,right?Why should I ruin that for them?

And yet, there’s a part of me that wonders—when will I be more than this? When will I be something more than a protector, more than a warrior? Is there space for Neteyam beneath the weight of it all?

The air was thick with the smell of burning metal and the acrid tang of gunpowder. Around me, the sounds of battle echoed through the forest—the hum of RDA machinery, the snap of Na’vi bows, the shouts of humans and my people alike. My heart pounded in my chest, not from fear, but from the weight of responsibility.

My feet barely made a sound as I landed on the roof of the human truck. Beneath me, I could hear their muffled voices, panicked and sharp. They were scrambling, caught off guard by our ambush. Good.

I moved to the edge, my bow drawn and ready, scanning for my next target. That’s when I saw…her.

She was crouched behind a crate, her wide eyes darting around in terror. Her skin was almost glowing in the dim light, and her hands trembled as they gripped a human weapon. She was small, fragile even, compared to the others.

A soldier, perhaps? No, she didn’t move like one. She was scared, out of place. A tablet was in her small and dainty fingers,and it looked oddly familiar,like the ones Max and Norm usually toy with in the lab. So a scientist,then. Doesn’t matter.

I drew my bowstring tighter, the arrow poised to fly. My target was clear, my purpose steady. Until I saw it.

An atokirina.

The seed of the sacred tree floated gently down, its soft glow cutting through the chaos. My breath caught as it hovered near the girl, circling her like it was studying her. And then it landed, just for a moment, on her shoulder. Didn’t this happen to my parents when they met?

Eywa was watching. Yet the girl didn’t notice.

I hesitated, my fingers loosening on the bowstring. This wasn’t normal. The atokirina didn’t just appear without reason, and they didn’t linger around those unworthy of Eywa’s blessing. Yet here it was, touching her—a human.

Her gaze was fixed on the ground, her breathing shallow. She had no idea the seed was there, no idea what it meant,too focused on her own panicked heavy breathing.

The voices of the other warriors faded into the background. For a moment, it was just her, the glowing seed, and me.

I lowered my bow.

I could hear my father’s voice in my head, a memory from years ago: "Eywa sees more than we do, Neteyam. Sometimes, the why is not ours to understand."

“Drop it,” I said, my voice steady despite the conflict brewing inside me.

She looked up, startled, her eyes locking onto mine. Great Mother,what pretty eyes she has. It’s as if I could see her entire soul through them. For a second, I thought she might try to fight, but instead, she set the weapon down on the truck bed. Slowly, carefully.

I studied her. She was different from the others—softer, quieter. And yet, there was something in her eyes that spoke of a hidden strength. And me?Well,let’s just say there was something almost…ethereal and noble in her fear that made me admire her.

“You do not belong here,” I said.

Her lips parted, as if she wanted to respond, but no words came out. The atokirina hovered again, as if to emphasize my point, before drifting off into the trees.

I couldn’t explain why, but I felt a strange pull toward her. Not sympathy—not yet—but curiosity. Eywa had chosen her for something, and it wasn’t my place to question the will of the Great Mother.

The sound of an AMP suit crashing nearby snapped me back to reality.

“Run,” I urged her, my voice low.

“What—”

“Go!” I barked, the command sharper now. She flinched but obeyed, scrambling off the truck and disappearing into the chaos. I cannot let the others see her,or she’ll get an arrow straight to her heart. The Great Mother put this responsibility in my hands,and I simply cannot let her get hurt. It must be a sign.

When the ambush was over, I retreated with the others, my thoughts still tangled around the human girl. The site was a mess,but at least we did what we had in mind. All of their cargo was either destroyed or stolen,and I doubt they won’t send out search parties for our heads.

Back at our camp, I sat by the fire, staring into the flames thoughtfully. Their dance was mesmerizing, a kaleidoscope of amber and gold licking against charred wood, with hints of blue at the edges where the heat was fiercest. The fire cracked and hissed, tiny sparks shooting upward to join the stars above. It felt alive, almost like Eywa herself whispered through its flickering rhythm.

Yet, even as the flames captivated me, my thoughts were elsewhere. On her. The girl in the forest.

Her scent still lingered faintly in my memory, something soft and sweet, like flowers I couldn’t name mixed with earth after rain. Her big eyes had been filled with fear, yet there had been something else too—curiosity, maybe? Defiance? I couldn’t decide which had unsettled me more. Her delicate frame, so unlike the strength we Na’vi pride ourselves on, seemed breakable, yet her spirit shone through her trembling form.

And then there was the atokirina. A single seed of the great tree had floated between us, its gentle glow bathing her face in an ethereal light. It had hovered briefly, as though weighing something unseen, before drifting closer to her. The moment felt... significant, as though Eywa herself had chosen her. Funny how she did not even notice such a blessing.

I had been ready to draw my bow, my duty clear in my mind. Sky People were a threat. A poison. It doesn’t matter that I share both human and Na’vi ancestors. Neither does the fact that my dad was one of them once. In my eyes,he is Na’vi. Just as everyone part of the Resistance. Yet the sight of her—so pure, so deliberate,so…utterly chaotic and scared—lingers in my thoughts. Something in me shifted then, a quiet nudge deep within my soul. I let her go, even when I knew my parents would question my decision.

Now, as the fire crackled before me, I couldn’t help but wonder: who was she? Why did Eywa send a sign? And why did I feel as though letting her go had set something far greater into motion?

The camp was buzzing with movement. The humans part of the Resistance were all in the biolab quarters, tending to their Avatars’ wounds. Lo’ak, my younger brother, plopped down beside me, his usual smirk replaced by a look of concern.

“You’re quiet,” he said, poking at the fire with a stick. “Sa’eyla said some shit went down. Something happen out there?”

I hesitated. “There was a girl.”

He raised an eyebrow. “A girl? Like, a human girl?”

“Yes,” I said, my voice firm. “And Eywa sent an atokirina to her.”

Lo’ak looked at me, confused, the stick in his hand forgotten. “What do you mean?”

I let out a loud sigh. Why is this interaction with her bothering me so much? “Just as I was ready to fire my bow, an atokirina landed on the head of this tawtute eve. As if telling me to lower my bow.”

“Are you serious?”

“I am.”

He let out a low whistle. “Well, that’s... something.” He leaned closer, his voice dropping. “What are you gonna do about it?”

I shook my head. “Nothing. For now. It’s not like I can do much, anyway.”

“Sounds like someone’s already in over his head,” came Kiri’s teasing voice as she approached from the shadows. She carried a bundle of herbs, her expression curious. “What’s this about an atokirina?”

Lo’ak smirked, scooting over to make room for her by the fire. “Our big brother here almost got bested by Eywa’s will.”

Kiri raised an eyebrow, sitting down. “That sounds interesting. Go on.”

I hesitated, but I knew Kiri’s connection to Eywa might help make sense of this. “There was a human girl. She wasn’t like the others—she didn’t fight. And an atokirina came to her. It lingered above her head. Right as I was about to…to kill her.”

Kiri’s expression turned thoughtful. She set the herbs aside, her hands resting on her knees. “Eywa does not make mistakes, Neteyam.”

“I know,” I said, frustrated. “But why her? She’s... she’s one of them. I have no idea why it’s bothering me so much. It’s like a buzz in my head.”

Lo’ak snorted. “Maybe the Great Mother’s matchmaking now.”

“Lo’ak,” Kiri said sharply, shooting him a look that silenced his grin. Her attention returned to me. “Eywa sees the heart, not the body. Maybe this girl is different. Maybe she’s meant to change something.”

I frowned, staring at the fire as its light danced across the darkened camp. “But how can I trust that? How can I trust her? I don’t even know her name and yet…” I hesitated, running a hand down my face. I really don’t need another teasing remark from Lo’ak.  “Gosh, I don’t even want to think about it anymore. Forget it.”

Kiri smiled faintly, her voice soft. “Sometimes, Eywa doesn’t ask for trust. She asks for faith.”

Lo’ak leaned back, looking between us with a sly grin. “Well, sounds like you’ve got a lot to think about, bro. Or maybe, you’re just scared of a tawtute girl.”

I shot him a glare, but Kiri nudged his arm before I could retort. “Leave him alone, Lo’ak,” she said, her tone amused but protective. “This isn’t something to joke about.”

Her gaze returned to me, her expression serious. “Whatever it is, Neteyam, trust that Eywa will reveal it in time. You’ll know what to do when the moment comes.”

And as the fire crackled between us, I couldn’t help but feel the weight of her words. Whether I was ready for it or not, my path—and hers—was no longer just my own.

In the days following the ambush, my thoughts lingered on her. I hadn’t told my parents yet. My father, Jake, carried enough weight on his shoulders. Every decision, every strategy, every skirmish—it was all for the survival of our people. He didn’t need my confusion about a single human clouding his focus. And my mother, Neytiri… she wouldn’t understand. Her hatred for the sky people ran deep, forged in blood and loss, and for good reason.

But I couldn’t ignore it.

One evening, I couldn’t sleep. Tossing and turning in my marui,only to be kept awake by my own thoughts. I hated whenever this happened. When no position was comfortable,my skin felt on fire and I would get more annoyed and tired by the second. I got up and slowly made my way through the campgrounds,passing by people alike,lost in their dreams.

What I’d do to be in their place.

Calling for my ikran, I waited as she descended gracefully, her form blending seamlessly with the star-speckled sky. When she landed, I took a moment to rest my forehead against hers, finding comfort in her steady presence. Together, we soared into the night, the cool wind sweeping away some of the weight on my chest.

Our destination was inevitable: the remnants of Utraya Mokri.

Once, long before I was born, this was the site of the great Tree of Voices—a place of profound connection where our ancestors’ memories thrived. But during the war, the humans came and destroyed it, severing that sacred link. In its place, saplings had begun to grow, fragile yet persistent, spreading slowly across the scarred land. They shimmered now, soft bioluminescent light dancing in the dark. It was a bittersweet sight—proof of Eywa’s resilience, but also a reminder of what had been lost.

I landed and dismounted, walking to the center of the grove. The soil was cool beneath me as I sat cross-legged, surrounded by the glow of the saplings. Gently, I wrapped the tendrils of a sacred vine around my queue, seeking solace in even the faintest connection. It wasn’t strong enough to download memories or speak with the ancestors, but it was something—a tether to Eywa. And maybe, just maybe, she would hear me.

The connection came swiftly, a wave of warmth and calm coursing through me, easing the storm within. I closed my eyes, lowering my head.

“Great Mother,” I whispered, my voice trembling. “Why her? Why a sky person?”

The forest seemed to exhale, its life humming softly around me. The glow of the saplings pulsed gently, as if in answer. I tried to silence my doubts, to push past the fear and confusion. My father had always told me to trust Eywa, even when her ways seemed inscrutable. But this... this felt different.

A memory surfaced unbidden—my father’s voice from years ago. He had been telling us about how Eywa had chosen him, a human, to unite the clans. “Eywa doesn’t see as we do, Neteyam,” he’d said. “She sees balance. Potential. She sees what we cannot.”

A force for balance,maybe. For something greater than I could comprehend.

The thought brought both comfort and unease. I opened my eyes to the glow of the saplings, their light steady and unyielding.

“Help me understand,” I murmured, my words barely audible. The forest around me thrummed once more, but no answer came—at least, not in words. Yet the stillness wasn’t empty. It carried something intangible, something that settled in my heart.

Perhaps the answer would come in time.For now, it would have to be enough.

The jungle was alive with its usual symphony of sounds—the distant calls of viperwolves, the rustle of leaves as a gust of wind swept through the trees. But my focus was razor-sharp, every movement of my body calculated as I followed the humans' trail.

Our scouts had reported another transport heading deeper into the forest, likely bringing more machines or weapons.My father had been clear: Observe, but do not engage. Watch, learn, and then strike if the time is right.

I crouched on a thick branch, hidden by the foliage, my bow resting lightly in my hand. Below me, the humans moved in a tight formation, their vehicles rumbling loudly and their voices carrying through the air. Among them, I saw her again.

She wasn’t dressed like a soldier. Her clothing was simpler, and she carried a small device in her hands, her gaze flicking between it and the terrain around her. She looked… out of place, as though she belonged somewhere quieter, somewhere far from the chaos of this world.

The same tug I’d felt during the ambush returned, stronger this time. But I forced it down.

She’s one of them.

And yet, I couldn’t look away.

We shadowed them for hours, moving through the trees as they trudged through the undergrowth. They stopped occasionally, setting up equipment and scanning the area. The girl seemed focused on whatever task she had been assigned,a small fierce nature in her body, but there was a tension in her posture, a hesitance in her movements.

As the group reached a clearing, my father’s voice came through the earpiece we used for communication.

“Pathfinder, fall back. Let them move on.Over.”

I hesitated. Something wasn’t right.

“Neteyam,” my father’s voice was firmer now. Shit. “Do you copy?”

“Yes,father.” I replied quietly. But I didn’t move.

The attack happened so fast, even I didn’t see it coming.

Viperwolves, drawn by the noise of the humans’ machines, erupted from the shadows. Their snarls shattered the fragile quiet, and the humans scrambled into action, shouting and firing their weapons. Chaos consumed the clearing, the air thick with smoke, fear, and violence.

And in the middle of it all, I saw her freeze.

Her wide eyes darted around, her body stiff as stone. She didn’t run, didn’t fight. Instead, she crouched low, pressing herself against a fallen log, trying to make herself invisible as the chaos surged around her.

I should’ve left. I should’ve followed my father’s orders, retreated into the safety of the trees. But the sight of her, small and vulnerable, anchored me in place. I couldn’t leave her.

Before I realized it, I was moving.

I landed silently behind her, my bow slung over my shoulder as I unsheathed my knife. The viperwolves hadn’t noticed her yet, but it wouldn’t be long before they caught her scent. I could see their noses twitching at the foreign human scent.

“Move,” I whispered, my voice low but firm.

She whipped around. For a moment, she didn’t react, her mouth opening slightly as if to say something. I could see it in her eyes. She recognized me.

“Holy shit,you–”

“Now!” I hissed, grabbing her arm and pulling her up.

She stumbled but followed, her legs moving awkwardly as I led her away from the clearing. The sounds of gunfire and snarls faded as we put distance between ourselves and the fight.

The forest was eerily quiet now, the aftermath of the viperwolf attack leaving a tense stillness in the air. She stood there, staring at me with wide eyes, her breaths coming fast and shallow. I could see the tremor in her hands, the slight quake of her legs—fear, exhaustion, or both.

I didn’t know what I was doing. Eywa’s will tugged at me like a strong current, the memory of the atokirina circling her vivid in my mind.

I raised a hand to my throat comm, pressing it lightly as I spoke in Na’vi. “Eagle Eye, I have a situation,over.”

“Holy shit,dude!Where’d you disappear?Over-” My brother’s voice came through, laced with confusion. I figure he fled back with the others. “What’s going on?”

“I found that girl again. The one I told you about. I’m taking her back to camp. Go on without me.Over.” I said, my words clipped. I’ll never hear the end of it.

“What?” Lo’ak’s shock was evident, his voice rising. “Why would you—”

“I’ll explain later. Tell Father and Kiri to meet me. And be ready. Over and out.”

Before Lo’ak could respond, I cut the connection and turned back to the girl. Her gaze flicked between me and the trees, as if she was debating whether to run.

“You’re coming with me,” I said firmly.

Her brow furrowed. “What? No, I—”

I didn’t give her a chance to finish. Stepping forward, I grabbed her wrist—not hard, but enough to guide her—and began leading her through the trees,calling for my ikran. She struggled against my grip.

“Let go of me!Are you fucking insane?!Why did you–” she hissed.

“We need to move,” I said sharply,cutting her off. “The forest isn’t safe for you.”

“Yeah,no shit.” she bit back,panic present in her tone. Does she think I’m kidnapping her?

When my ikran came to us, the girl froze, her eyes widening at the sight of the massive, winged creature. It let out a low growl, its sharp eyes narrowing at her.

“No way,” she said, shaking her head. “I am not getting on that thing.”

“You don’t have a choice,” I said, swinging up onto the ikran’s back and reaching down for her.

She hesitated, but when the distant laugh of a viperwolf echoed through the trees, she grabbed my hand and let me pull her up. She’s so light.

“Hold on,” I said, guiding her arms around my waist.

She muttered something under her breath, but she obeyed.

With a sharp call, I urged my ikran into the air, the wind rushing past us as we soared above the forest.

The Hallelujah Mountains loomed ahead, their floating peaks glowing faintly in the evening light. I focused on the flight, trying to ignore the growing tension I felt with her pressed against my back.

It wasn’t until we began our descent toward the high base that she spoke.

“You think I don’t understand you?”

Her voice, so sudden, startled me. She was quiet the entire ride and now she speaks?

I twisted slightly to glance back at her, my eyes narrowing. “What are you talking about?”

“When you spoke earlier, in Na’vi. I understood you. You’re taking me back to...to torture me or what?!” she said, her tone biting,but I could sense the fear and tremble in her tone. Feisty little thing.

My heart skipped a beat. She understood? How?

“You speak my language?” I asked, my voice sharp with disbelief.

“You didn’t answer my question!” she snapped, her grip tightening on my waist as the ikran dipped slightly. Fuck,I’m getting lightheaded with the way her tiny hands grips my waist like that. “Why does it matter? Why am I here?”

I didn’t answer immediately. We landed on a wide platform near the high base, the soft thud of the ikran’s claws echoing against the rock. She climbed off quickly, putting distance between us as she glared at me. How do I even explain to her?

“Tell me,” she demanded, her voice rising. “Why did you take me? Why didn’t you just leave me there?”

I slid off the ikran, keeping my gaze steady on hers. “You would have died.”

“I could’ve handled it!” she said, her voice trembling with frustration. Yeah,right. Surely you would have handled dying,little tawtute. “I didn’t ask for your help!”

I took a step closer, my expression hard. “And yet,you were frozen. If I hadn’t acted, the viperwolves would have torn you apart.”

Her anger faltered, and she looked away, her fists clenching at her sides. “I didn’t need saving.”

“You don’t understand this world,” I said, my voice softening. “It’s not like Earth. It will kill you if you’re not careful.”

She looked back at me then, her eyes burning with a mix of anger and something else—something I couldn’t quite place.

“Then why not leave me there?Away from the attack.” she asked quietly. “Why take me with you?”

For a moment, I didn’t know how to answer. The truth was tangled up in feelings I didn’t fully understand myself—in the memory of the atokirina, in the way Eywa seemed to whisper through the forest that she was important. In the way I felt when I stared into her eyes.

“Because we need intel from inside the RDA. And you seemed like a good fit,you know. Small,feisty scientist who didn’t show any signs of a threat. ” I lied, the words slipping out before I could stop them,though I kept a certain amount of smugness in my teasing.

Her brows furrowed in confusion,almost as if she was…offended. “What are you talking about?”

I hesitated, debating how much to tell her. I pet my ikran before I started wlalking into a cave. “You wouldn’t understand.”

“Try me,” she said, crossing her arms.

Gosh,she’s so infuriating. Maybe I should have left her with the viperwolves. I turn around to her,simply cross my arms in defiance,towering over her small stature with a silent smirk. For a moment, she was observing, her gaze searching mine. I'm too stubborn to talk further. Plus,she's...pretty like this. She let out a sharp laugh, shaking her head. “You’re insane.”

“Maybe,” I said, a faint smile tugging at my lips. She’s got jokes,huh. I like that. “Takes one to know one.”

Her laughter faded, and she looked at me with an expression I couldn’t quite read. “What happens now?”

I straightened, my resolve hardening. “I…don’t know. We’ll figure it out once we get there.”

She didn’t argue this time. Instead, she simply nodded, her shoulders slumping slightly as if the fight had gone out of her.

“And for the record,I’m not going to torture you. We’re not barbarians.”

I heard a weak chuckle leave her lips as she followed behind me,and…it was a pretty sweet sound. 

But I knew this was only the beginning. Whatever Eywa’s plan was, it had already begun.

[twig-tea]

2024 Tumblr Top 10

tagged by @lurkingshan here and @neuroticbookworm here, thank you both! This really reminds me that I need to do a real pinned post at some point.

If you want to generate your own, you can use this link! I used the link to find the posts but wrote this below because I thought reflecting on the posts would be fun.

My GL rec list (covering everything through to Feb 2024), which I'm very happy about taking first place. If you want GL recs, check that out first, and then feel free to browse my #GL recs tag.

The admittedly shady post from October calling out the director of the Addicted Heroin Thailand adaptation for (a)making weird choices and (b)defending them as artistic. But I stand by my anger about this. Censorship is not an aesthetic!

The non-novel-spoilery reaction post to episodes 1 & 2 of Love In The Big City which was also from October, but which honestly stands up for my reaction to the whole series. What a gift of a show.

A quick pitch for Akaya is in Love with Hiroko from July. This one hurts! I was so ready to cheerlead for this show and did several times, but the penultimate episode made me wary and the finale really upset me, to the point where I didn't end up writing about the finale, so I'll take the chance here: Don't make a show about two self-aware lesbians, one who has been comfortably sexually active for years and one who is super horny for her, and have them get together as adults and yet be celibate for a year out of "respect". Is the message that sex between consenting and enthusiastic adults is not respectful?! GTFO. For the record I can be respected with orgasms, thank you.

The episode celebrating the messaging in the finale of Let Free the Curse of Taekwondo from November. Glad that this is here between the previous entry and the next two, because this is a good balm for the pain. LFtCoT landed the ending and gave us all a giant hug while doing it!

The list of things I was thinking about at the end of Wandee Goodday ep3 from May. Another disappointment for me. The things this post shouts out are still things I like about this show, and reading it again is a reminder of where the back half let the first half down (not taking seriously some of the things we were told to take seriously in the first few episodes).

An early post about Love Is Better the Second Time Around from March. Another show that did not land everything, in this case because it felt like it tried to shove in a complicated conflict in the last two episodes that they didn't have time to handle. But I still love those early episodes and all of the interplay between Miyata, Iwanaga, and Shiraishi.

My clown theory for Every You, Every Me also from October, which ended up being correct! I've never been more happy to be right, I liked this reveal for the show so much.

In February I wrote this thesis about the state of Thai BL looking at data from 2022 and 2023, which I have been meaning to go back and update since I think Shan as usual was feeling the start of the wave and we needed more data to see the change actually play out in 2024. I now no longer feel (as I did in this post) that things haven't changed, I do think they have this year. But I need to crunch the numbers again to prove it to myself (and everyone else) though. Stay tuned!

In July I did a round-up post about the various theories surrounding Century of Love, and whether Vee and Vad were the same person. Turns out San did wrestle with this as I'd hoped but the show itself felt like it lost steam and copped out around this, unfortunately. At least we'll always have fox demon Offroad and grumpy old man Daou's collarbones thanks to this show.

Special shout-out to @lurkingshan because two of the posts above are answers to asks she put in my inbox that spawned project posts. Shan knows what the people want to hear!

Tagging @italianpersonwithashippersheart @benkaben @ellsieee @colourme-feral @pigglepiephi @impala124 no pressure tags and apologies if you've been tagged already!

[nanamincreampie]

A Christmas to Remember

Geto Suguru x Black plus size reader

Warnings: Nipple play( kinda??), pussy-eating, missionary, mating press

The snow falls softly outside the cabin, blanketing the world in silence and serenity. Inside, the scent of pine from the Christmas tree mingles with the rich aroma of hot cocoa, creating the perfect holiday atmosphere. You and Geto sit by the fire, a cozy blanket draped over your legs as you admire the warm glow of the lights adorning the tree.

“Can you believe I found that tree myself?” Geto says, a proud smirk tugging at his lips.

You laugh, nudging him playfully. “Found it? You mean you pointed to the nearest one and had me do half the decorating?”

He chuckles, leaning closer to press a kiss to your temple. “Guilty. But you’ve got the better eye for it, anyway. Look at how perfect it turned out.”

Your heart warms at his words, the affection in his tone as undeniable as the soft look in his eyes. The past year has been long and hard, filled with challenges and sacrifices, but here, in this secluded cabin with Geto by your side, all of that feels like a distant memory.

You exchange small, thoughtful gifts as the fire crackles and the snow falls outside. Geto’s gift is a delicate necklace with a charm shaped like a snowflake, which takes your breath away.

“It reminded me of you,” he says softly, brushing a strand of hair from your face. “Beautiful, unique, and something I never want to lose.”

Your chest tightens with emotion, and you throw your arms around him, burying your face in his neck. “You’re too much, Suguru,” you whisper, your voice thick with affection.

“Not nearly enough,” he murmurs back, his arms tightening around you.

The evening flows seamlessly, filled with quiet laughter, shared memories, and tender moments. As the night deepens, the firelight casting golden hues across the room, Geto leans closer, his hand brushing yours.

“You know,” he begins, his voice dropping to a softer, more intimate tone, “this year wouldn’t have been the same without you. I’m not great with words, but... I need you to know how much you mean to me.”

His honesty catches you off guard, and you find yourself speechless for a moment. He takes your hand, lifting it to his lips and pressing a kiss to your knuckles.

“I want to show you,” he whispers, his eyes dark with intent.

The atmosphere shifts the warmth between you taking on a new intensity. He moves closer, his lips finding yours in a kiss that starts slow and tender but quickly deepens.

His lips are on you immediately, starting at the delicate curve of your neck and trailing down with slow, open-mouthed kisses. His hands move expertly, slipping under your sweater to glide over your skin, his touch sending sparks of heat coursing through your body. When he pulls the shirt over your head, he pauses, his gaze roaming appreciatively over your bare torso.

“You’re so beautiful,” he murmurs, his fingers brushing over your chest before leaning down to take one nipple into his mouth. His tongue swirls over the sensitive bud, his teeth grazing it just enough to make you gasp, while his other hand rolls the other nipple between his fingers. The sharp pull of pleasure makes your back arch, and Geto chuckles softly against your skin.

“Sensitive tonight, aren’t we?” he teases, his lips trailing lower.

When his hands move to your pants, he takes his time, unbuttoning them with a deliberate slowness that has you writhing beneath him. He slides them down, pressing kisses to the newly exposed skin of your hips and thighs, until you’re left in nothing but your underwear.

He presses his mouth against the thin fabric of your panties, his warm breath sending a shiver through you. “You’re already so wet,” he remarks, his voice full of praise. “I’ve barely even started.”

Hooking his fingers into the waistband, he pulls them down and discards them, his gaze darkening as he takes in the sight of you bare before him. “So perfect,” he murmurs, his hands parting your thighs to settle between them.

His tongue is warm and soft as it drags through your folds, the sensation making you gasp and clutch at his hair. Geto starts slow, savoring the taste of you, his tongue exploring every inch of your heat. When he finally wraps his lips around your clit, sucking gently, your hips jerk against his mouth, but his strong hands hold you firmly in place.

“That’s it,” he murmurs, his voice vibrating against you as his fingers slide inside you with a smooth, practiced motion. He curls them just right, pressing against the spot that has your toes curling and your breaths coming in shallow gasps. “Let me hear you, sweetheart,” he urges, his tongue flicking over your clit in time with the thrusts of his fingers.

The combination is overwhelming. His name spills from your lips in a breathless moan as your body tightens under his ministrations. He presses harder, his fingers moving faster, and the coil of pleasure deep in your belly snaps.

The release is explosive your thighs tremble as a gush of warmth surges from you, coating his hand and chin. You gasp, your body jerking uncontrollably, and Geto groans in satisfaction, his lips never leaving you as he works you through the aftershocks.

“Look at that,” he murmurs, his voice heavy with pride and desire. “You’re so beautiful when you fall apart for me.”

When you’re finally still, he wipes his chin with the back of his hand, a smug smile tugging at his lips as he kisses his way back up your body. His lips capture yours, letting you taste yourself as he presses his length against you, the hardness of him igniting the fire in your belly all over again.

He doesn’t rush as he enters you, his gaze fixed on yours, his forehead resting against yours as he stretches you open inch by inch. “You feel so good,” he groans, his voice rough with restraint. “So tight, so perfect, just for me.”

He starts slow, his hips rolling in a steady rhythm that leaves you breathless. But when he shifts your legs, hooking them over his shoulders and pressing your knees close to your chest in a perfect mating press, the angle has you crying out his name.

“That’s my good girl,” he praises, his voice thick with affection and lust. His hand finds your clit again, rubbing in tight circles that send shockwaves through your overstimulated body. “You can give me one more, can’t you?”

You nod frantically, your nails digging into his shoulders as the pleasure builds again, sharper and more intense this time. His thrusts grow deeper, more deliberate, as he coaxes you toward another release. When it hits, it’s even more powerful than the last, your body trembling uncontrollably as another gush escapes you, soaking the rug beneath you.

“Fuck,” Geto groans, his hips stuttering as he feels your walls clench around him. The sight of you falling apart beneath him pushes him over the edge, and he buries himself deep inside you, his release spilling into you as his name tumbles from your lips in a breathless chant.

He collapses beside you, pulling you into his arms as the fire crackles softly in the background. His fingers trace lazy patterns on your back as he presses a kiss to your forehead. “You’re everything to me,” he murmurs, his voice filled with love. “Merry Christmas, my love.”

And as you lay together under the glow of the Christmas tree, your bodies tangled and your hearts full, you know this moment will stay with you forever.

[bokutosbabe]

actually I was just passing by and scrolling on tumblr (using the school computer cuz I dont wanna go to class yet and because it has wifi) and I wanted to try and take my chance in your recnt post which I just saw and it made me pretty interested in who you would pair me up with

I have "take a chance with me" by Niki as my top song (of course) and Seventeen as my top artist for this years spotify wrapped, very interested to find out who you would pair me with, thank you again!!

if take a chance with me by niki was your top song and seventeen was your top artist, i'd pair you with...

isagi yoichi

જ⁀♡⊹｡° say what we we want, say what we feel

♡ a/n — for my spotify wrapped event - masterlist -

♡ content — isagi yoichi x gn! reader, gn! reader, childhood friends, friends to lovers, awkward isagi, unrequited love for a second, mention of picking soccer and reader

♡ synopsis — you've always loved isagi yoichi, but when he finally tells you how he feels, your friendship could crumble.

You and Isagi always shared a quiet understanding. While the world saw him as a rising star, someone who was destined for greatness, you were the person who saw his true self—the quiet boy who feared failure and the overwhelming pressure to be the best.

It had always been like that, even when you were younger. He’d train, head down and focused, always trying to get better, and you’d be the one who kept him grounded, reminding him of the simpler things in life—the fun of just playing without the weight of expectations.

But those days felt so far away now. You’d grown up, he’d grown into a national hero, and the distance between you both seemed unbridgeable. Still, you couldn’t help the way your heart beat faster every time you saw him. Even now, after all this time, that same rush of emotions stirred inside you.

It was a rare thing, this moment—a simple, quiet day. Isagi had invited you over to his apartment after a long day, the kind where he'd just played a big match with his team, and you, as always, attended from the sidelines, cheering him on. Now, you sat on the couch, the warm glow of string lights and Christmas decorations creating a peaceful atmosphere as you both relaxed. You didn’t know why he insisted on movie nights like this. Maybe it was the closest thing to normal he had.

You hadn’t seen him in a while. With the constant traveling and the endless responsibilities that came with his career, you knew it wasn’t easy for him to keep in touch with everyone, but somehow, he always made time for you. There was something so familiar about him, but also, he felt like a stranger at times.

"Hey," Isagi's voice breaks through the silence. He's looking at you, his gaze soft but intense, like he’s deciding something, something important.

"Yeah?" You glance over at him, heart skipping a beat.

He shifts uncomfortably, one leg crossed over the other, eyes tracing the floor before meeting yours again. "I don’t know when things changed. When... you became more than just a friend. But I realized I’ve been putting this off for too long."

You blink, your heart hammering. "What are you talking about?" Your voice is barely above a whisper, betraying the sudden nervousness settling in your chest.

"I’ve never been good at expressing myself," he chuckles softly, the sound both familiar and a little sad. "I thought maybe I could just ignore it, or maybe it would go away, but... I don’t think it will." He looks at you, eyes full of something you can’t quite place, but it’s vulnerable. Raw.

You swallow, trying to make sense of what he's saying. It feels like he's been talking around this moment for years, and now, it’s finally come to the surface. "Isagi..."

His gaze softens, and for the first time, you see that faint trace of doubt in him—the same doubt you used to reassure him about back in the day. "I don’t want to regret this. I don’t want to look back and think that maybe I could have... I don’t know... tried something with you. I’ve been holding back because I didn’t want to mess things up, but now..." He exhales shakily. "I can’t pretend like I don’t want you in my life, in my future. I want to try, but I... I’m scared. I don’t know what to do with all these feelings."

His words hang in the air, and your heart feels like it’s been pulled in two directions. Part of you wants to reach out to him, to tell him that you’ve felt the same way for so long, that all of this time spent apart hasn’t dulled your feelings for him. But the other part—the part that’s always been afraid of taking that leap—wants to stay safe in the distance, to preserve what you have, even if it means holding back.

"You’re scared?" you finally manage to say, laughing softly. "You’re the one who’s been scoring goals in front of thousands of people, and you’re scared of this?"

Isagi chuckles nervously, his eyes bright with a mixture of relief and frustration. "Yeah, well... this is different. You’ve always been someone who just... made sense to me, you know? But now it feels like everything’s spinning so fast, and I’m not sure how to make it stop."

You let out a slow breath, your heart racing as you finally let yourself speak the words that have been trapped in your chest for so long. "I feel the same way, Yoichi."

His eyes widen, as if hearing it out loud for the first time is what makes it real. "So... does that mean you’d...?"

"I don’t want to pick," you admit, your voice barely above a whisper. "I don’t want you to choose between soccer and the future we could have, or... whatever we are now."

Isagi’s expression softens as he inches closer, the tension between you both now palpable. His hand brushes against yours, fingers lightly grazing your skin. "I don’t want to pick either, but I have to try. So, let's just... try."

You can see it now, the sincerity in his eyes, the way he’s finally letting himself be vulnerable with you. And in that moment, you realize that even though the future may be uncertain, you’re both standing at the edge together, finally ready to leap.

With a shaky breath, you reach for him, your fingers curling into his hand, offering him the chance you both deserve.

soft isagi they will never make me change you

i hope you liked it!

likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated!

[yuyusgirlie]

[12:29 am]

"What do you think you were doing out there?" He looked at you with an unmistakable fire in his eye.

"At the party? I was enjoying myself? All I did was chat with people and grab a few snacks."

"For hours."

"Jeonghan you were literally there with me, you know exactly what I did. I don't understand what this arguement is abou-" your tone was starting to get more stressed as this conversation continued, but that wasn't Jeonghan's goal.

You were resting against the kitchen counter, your arms crossed as you were watching Jeonghan stand in the middle of the living room. He was watching you as your hands started to fidget with the hem of your sweater. 

“Darling, it’s never about that. I trust you blindly. It’s about the others.” At this point Jeonghan’s eyes are locked on to yours. His gaze feels almost threatening as he approaches you, a beast stalking its prey. “It’s the way those people look at you. How they talk to you. How they think they have a chance.” 

Jeonghan takes your hand in his gently, his eyes never leaving yours and bring the back of your hand to his lips for a soft kiss. His hand then begins to run up your arm, leaving goosebumps in its wake. Travelling past your shoulder, up your neck his hand reaches your face as he holds you by your chin, tilting your gaze slightly higher as he comes closer, pressing himself against you. 

“Its the way they don’t know you’re mine.” 

You are left speechless as even your breathing fails you. Your look of awe tells Jeonghan everything he needs to know as he smirks. 

“You were enjoying all the attention they were giving you darling. I can’t blame them you are an absolute delight. But I can’t help to get a little jealous my love.” He almost whispers against your lips before pulling away. 

As he takes a step back it felt like the charm he put you under for the moment snapped out of existence. You take notice of where you are and your reaction to Jeonghan. You are still pressed up against the kitchen counter, both hands now gripping the edge as you held on to every word Jeonghan spoke to you. 

You watched him continue to move towards your shared bedroom as you remain frozen in your spot for a few more moments, your soul taking its time connecting your emotions to your brain. 

As Jeonghan crossed through the doorway to your bedroom, you quickly turned the lights off in the kitchen and followed him into the bedroom, closing the door behind you. 

You set your phone down on your nightstand, keeping a close eye on the movements happening across the room. Jeonghan mirrors your actions and eventually sits on the edge of the bed, beginning to undo the top few buttons of his shirt. 

You slowly move to sit next to him on the bed, facing him. One of your hands moves to cover his hand with yours, wordlessly offering him help to get ready for bed. 

“You know you are the one who is always on my mind, right?” 

He smirks again, “of course.” 

“And you know no one else matters to me except for you.” 

“Always.” 

“And that I am yours.” 

“The same way I am yours.” 

You smile softly as you watch each button reveal more of your life partner, before looking up at him and giving him a soft kiss. As you pull away his hands move down to your waist, pulling you back in even closer this time, manuvering you into his lap. 

“I don’t mean to be overbearing, I really don’t. Trust me when I say I trust you blindly. But sometimes I just want the world to know you’re mine. I want them to remember who your heart belongs to.” His words continue to slowly spill as his mouth ghosts along your neck. 

“I want them to know whose name you scream,” was the last thing he spoke before he began to softly kiss your neck. Your hands moved to his shoulders, moving under the open shirt to feel his warm skin under your touch. 

His lips move up your neck to your jaw, eventually finding your lips once more. “Maybe I just need to remind everyone that you’re mine. And that I’m never letting go.” 

[triptychgrip]

So sorry to ask @arom-antix but do you think you (or someone else, if you see this first) could send me screenshots of thegirlwhorideslikeasamurai’s post? I am now blocked, so can’t see their analysis for myself 🙃🙃🙃

The topic of plagiarism reminds me of something I’d refrained from including in my earlier post which, in my opinion, is a tendency as damaging to fandom as their trying to dictate how others enjoy the source media: their preference for competition over fostering community

…even when they have posted very openly about wanting to feel like a more rooted part of the fandom.

This actually gets at something you already touched upon @arom-antix and I love how you framed it:

“And considering Samurai believes their interpretations are the most correct according to canon and that anyone who doesn't share those views is illiterate (I can't find that screenshot rn, you're free to doubt my claim), shouldn't it be good that Vic came to the same conclusions? Doesn't that mean that Samurai's analysis is being backed up and that Vic is not illiterate? But Vic's analysis gained more traction and that's apparently enough to accuse the fandom of being a waste of time and energy (Fig. 22).”

I’ll mention a similarly telling example of the focus on traction/ the tendency towards competition: thegirlwhorideslikeasamurai made a post during the past summer, I believe that (paraphrasing) said something to the effect of: “when you plan to post something only to discover that someone has already gone ahead and posted nearly the exact same thing, it makes you wonder why you even bother, sometimes”

I’ll be honest, I found this line of thinking very bizarre, and even more bizarre to readily admit.

Because if you profess to care so much about canon compliance while also feeling that nobody is capable of presenting the kind of intellectually based discourse you really want to see more of, why is someone else posting about something you share interpretations around such a bad thing?

Might it be because they did it first?

I think this honestly goes beyond “well I spent a lot of time developing the post and now that’s all a waste”. Because here’s the thing: it doesn’t have to be a waste, depending on your attitude.

Shouldn’t you feel happy that someone else is analyzing things the way you do? Can’t that be a platform to foster a connection and maybe even a friendship (i.e. “I noticed your analysis really resonates with my own headcanons, would you be open to talking about them?”)?

Now, maybe they in fact did reach out to that person via DM’s or a non-public forum, but given the things I’ve already seen people bring up, I highly doubt they did. Because as has become increasingly clear to me, their main drive seems to be to preference appearing relevant over cultivating connection.

And before I get accused of speaking in absolutes, I’ll say that it’s likely true that thegirlwhorideslikeasamurai was indeed genuine on the occasions they’ve said they want more fandom friends/community.

However, it has always read to me that those statements were extremely conditional, and left many things unspoken like: “I want community, as long as I am perceived as the most relevant. Community, but only if I am the foremost authority figure, the person who posts first, and comes out looking like I have the most unique thing to say.”

(If you can’t already tell, I have some long-harbored frustration around this…mostly due to my making excuses for them for far too long.)

I remember a post they made shortly before going on a social media hiatus in which they mentioned (again, paraphrasing) feeling like they are the antipode of fun.

I can’t remember the exact wording, but it was essentially a very vulnerable post about feeling like the odd one out in the fandom, and a general struggle to make friends. I believe I had commented to them with something sympathetic — if anyone who they haven’t blocked wants to look this up and verify, feel free.

But what I wish I would have added had I been more brave is that a really valuable opportunity for making friends could be to engage in conversations with people from a place of curiosity. It’s like you’ve said so well already, @arom-antix : come at things not from a desire to prove anyone wrong — nor in order to come out looking like you’re the only one with something worth saying — but because you genuinely value the opportunity to connect with others around something you’re both so passionate about

Hey, just wanted to reach out to say that I found you pointing out and calling this person was really great and you shouldn't have apologized. It was incredibly true what you said, and to be honest it seems out of touch with the reality of a great deal of the japanese fandom, the nuances and their culture. Also, it was as you pointed out, extreme and may I say rude. I want to mention too that the way it was written, as if entitled of the knowledge and the 'explanation' made it all worse in context of the 'fucked up'. The original poster always gets away by using the 'well-written academic'' statement of their 'metas' as an excuse to do or say and make everyone else agree and if not, uses victim narrative and discourses exactly selecting wording for people to agree on it or feel bad.

I don't know if they tagging you in the way they did made you reblog and apologizing/backing up, but no one thought bad about you pointing it out. On the contrary, a lot of people had been bullied and discriminated by this person when they called them out/disagreed going onto lenghts of sending their friends to harass people, and the other persons can't even defend themselves because they are effectively blocked. To quite a few people in the fandom has been done, even accusing them as 'acephobes' (when they're not) or even Nazis by spreading lies. So yeah, I just wanted to say that. I think you were right to call them out publicly.

Thank you very much for this ask. To be completely honest I agree with everything you said here and don't actually feel bad about pointing anything out. I mainly apologised because I didn't want any potentially poor phrasing from my side to cause unnecessary hostility and because I myself have gripes with this person's behaviour but didn't want to cause a scene.

My honest opinion is that they have a serious issue with taking accountability for their own mistakes and highly overestimate their own intellect. If you're reading this, @thegirlwhorideslikeasamurai, sorry if I seem harsh, but it's true. I saw your post lamenting how you're the only academic meta writer / fan in the fandom and I didn't interact then because I honestly do not care enough to start that drama but with the information Blonndiec has just given me, I think it's necessary that someone calls you out.

You're not an academic. You're not beyond the mental capabilities of other fans. You're actually incredibly childish in your metas and analyses and I am not kidding when I say that I was halfheartedly writing essays more academic than every analysis I've seen from you when I was barely a teenager. I don't know how old you are and I frankly don't care. You're not as clever as you think you are.

Also, don't think I didn't notice that you didn't reblog my correction (link here to my correction and here to their "response" for those who didn't see that exchange) of your post so that you could control what your followers saw of the exchange. You're the opposite of an academic. You control information to tailor the narrative, you don't cite your sources properly if at all, you don't format your posts in anything close to how an academic analysis would be, you make unbased claims, you reference posts and canon material without in any way indicating where that information is from, you reference your own (equally unacademic) metas and your conclusions from them without indicating what post it's from or that it's your own theory this new one is based on and instead present it as a common fact, and I could go on and on and on. Your posts are also riddled with logical fallacies and you talk in absolutes and opinions when there's no canon basis to claim such things. I'm sorry, but that's not academic in the slightest.

To be clear, you don't have to be an academic to post on the Internet. You don't have to be anything at all. You could up front be a genuine idiot with no remorse and that's fine. But when you claim to be an academic and also put down the rest of the fandom for not being on your level, you have to be able to back that up. It'd still make you sound like a prick but at least your arrogance would have a basis. It currently does not.

I haven't personally seen the discussions that Blonndiec is referencing and I'm not going to claim anything definitive (because that would be unacademic of me, take notes) but if what they're saying is true and did happen as described, which I have empirical, if anecdotal, evidence to believe could very well be (a friend of mine has personally been blocked by you after they criticised you without actually mentioning your name which I of course can't prove is the reason for the block but the timing is awfully convenient), you should know that you should be ashamed of yourself.

If there's context missing, feel free to enlighten me and call out any incorrect accusations. You have every right to defend yourself. However, I encourage you to cite your sources since you're such an academic. If you don't, then it's just your word against Blonndiec and anyone else who might comment's word and that doesn't prove anything. Don't misunderstand, acephobia and nazi rhetoric should absolutely be called out but only if it's actually happening. False accusations can ruin lives. I hope you know that.

I'm not a fan of calling people out publicly and, again, thank you for this ask, Blonndiec. But considering many of the issues I've personally seen and those I've been informed of by second hand sources were posted publically, I don't really feel bad about calling this out. I could do a full breakdown of just the insulting "academic" comments alone and how there's no academia to be found in said academic metas and, Samurai, if you give me reason to, I will show exactly what I mean point by point (and academically just to give you an example of even low level academia).

If you respond to this, do it in a reblog. That's what a real academic would do. If I'm wrong and you can prove it, you'd have no reason to not show my post in your rebuttal. If I'm right, you'd have every reason to be upfront about your mistakes and how you intend to rectify them. There's nothing wrong with being wrong but there's a lot wrong with refusing to admit to it in a way that lets others peer review you (academic thing, look it up) and come to their own conclusions about the situation. That's what you did when you just @'ed me instead of reblogging my response. A true academic wouldn't hide a peer review. You'd know that if you were one.

I swing in many academic spaces and yet that doesn't make me any kind of expert and I don't claim to be one because I'm not. But since you want to be one so badly, reblog this with a response and show us all how smart you are. I'm dying to know what your academic take on this is.

[hinamie]

playing around w slightly different hair renders

[brionysea]

I'm trying really hard not to just be The Complainer because that's an energy I don't want to bring here when I love (present tense; I rewatch it like 5 times a day) arcane season 1 so much but does anyone remember when powder was taken in by silco and being raised by this very utilitarian merciless 'the ends justify the means' type character made jinx turn out violent and merciless as well. and vi was horrified by her and the lanes were terrified of her and piltover was falling over itself trying to scapegoat her as the one bad apple of the undercity to kid themselves into believing that everyone else was perfectly fine with being treated as less than. and that contrasts vi after vander etc. died because she was raised by him and internalised the idea that no one wins in war and fighting back against systemic oppression isn't worth the damage it causes to your own community which is why she ended up working with cait and the council like vander worked with grayson. the people who raised them shaped them into who they are today but then in season 2 jinx has a daughter and she's suddenly completely normal and well adjusted and her attachment style isn't digging her nails in until she draws blood at all. like What. what happened. didn't things used to mean something

[ohitslen]

Guess who had a little too much fun with the pathetic reincarnation AU idea :))

To summarize! WW gets reincarnated in a very distant future where humanity is more settled down in the planet. He remembers everything and decides to keep living his life as normally as he is able to. That is until he meets his neighbor when he moved to a new apartment.

(More below the cut)⬇️

He was an absolute weirdo of a guy who looked just like Vash in so many ways yet was so different in many others at the same time.

He pretends that his system isn’t going haywire every time he is around the man, the one that resembles someone he cared for so deeply in a life that wasn’t his but remembers all too well. He decides to pretend he doesn’t know Vash because he really doesn’t, not this one at least.

Meanwhile, Vash is going through a very trippy existential crisis for seeing Wolfwood again after what felt like dozens of centuries. This could clearly not be him however because, well, he knows why. So he pretends not to know him because wouldn’t that be weird if he acted like he did?

They avoid each other like the plague, the beautiful and horrible emotions that swarmed on their insides too much to bear just by the presence of the other. They could slip at any moment so it was better to evade the neighbor.

The thing here is, that life has never gone how they want it since ever.

[geatsoneness]

Hey from Geats! I’ll have a go answering a few of these.

Yes, I do. (Spoilers for my source ahead.) Essentially, I was one of 4 aspects created from Ace when he got split by the Godslayers (Mela and Melo), and the last one alive (considered the leftovers/dregs) when Mela when took his/my power, luck and strength to destroy the world as Kamen Rider XGeats. I only survived, waking up on an endless beach, after my friends realised who I represented and protected me with their lives, and in the end, with their wishes and the hopes of the world, I got my rider form (Geats Oneness) and managed to stop them.

As a fictive, yeah! Here’s what I look like in source: (my outfit is still the same in headspace, here.)

3. I’m the god of, in short, humanity, determination, hope, the heart (in a heroism / hopepunk sense), and Kamen Riders/heroes. I’m also a guardian deity, and fight for a world where everyone can be happy, and I’ll be there if someone needs reminding they have a future and can be happy. I’m also a god of… ‘feeling and continuing on and finding hope/meaning despite a hostile world’, but I don’t think there’s a single word for that, along with joy is resistance, and cyclebreaking/positive change.

4. I’m not really worshipped in a traditional sense. If you do want to worship me, though… go out there and be the best person you can be. Be a good friend, keep on finding hope and joy even if the world doesn’t want to. Keep on learning, experience new things, find new music. Create some art, laugh with your friends, find what makes your heart happy, take a stand for others, volunteer and help someone else today. To everyone, you’ve got my blessing.

5. I do feel somewhat of a connection to the kami-sama of Shinto practice, as I’m an aspect of one in source. I don’t consider myself one specifically here, more of a god in a general sense.

6. These are more philosophies/movements, but joy is resistance and hopepunk.

7. Benevolent: In source, I’m there to help bring people hope, help them find happiness, and protect the world as a Kamen Rider.

8. Honestly about the same: there’s an awful lot of bad stuff in this world, and people who put down other people’s happiness for their own… but there’s also community, friendship, hope, chosen family, love of all kinds… and I believe it can overcome anything. That is especially important to hold onto now.

9. Not really, no. If I did… I’d probably appear in dreams most often, but I do have a physical form if I need it.

10. I did grant blessings, and help grant people’s wishes. If someone needed hope, I’d be there.

11. I think people would revere me more, even though I’m not really that type of god! I’m almost like… a friend/source of support you can call at any time. That’s the type of god I was, and still want to be, in the limited way I can now.

12. Quite a few, but strongest, The Flood by Take That. I edited my movie to it a while ago, and it works very well. https://open.spotify.com/track/3F0Ei18pIsOZlDiEA777hK?si=BZvxon0FRP2rNfcGi615B

13. Apart from their cards with their wishes on it… I think people would leave flowers, primarily. I think music would also be a big theme.

14. Do something kind for someone today, and no matter what, do not give up. Especially for marginalised people, finding joy, community, and building a future where we can be happy is an act of resistance. The first step to doing that is still being here. Remember, no matter what: someone like you has gone before you, and someday, someone will need to hear your story to get through the same things you have overcome.

15. I honestly don’t know? Centres of communities, parties, safe spaces… sunsets, a nice beach, art?

17. Not romantically, but I have many trusted Riders and friends who helped me and believed in me when I needed it most, and I now try and help them here in this brain, as nearly all of us Geats riders are headmates in this system. Our partner has a fictotype of one of them, though, and is a demon, so I guess you could say we are here.

19. Yeah, I’m a system host and caretaker, and I hold a lot of our emotions and passions. In short: I'm here to feel and process things, I'm here to find new music and find new stories, come up with ideas no one else thinks up, make new friends, play drums, learn new stuff, keep us going in a very dark world sometimes, create stuff, help us become a man/transition, remind someone there is still hope in this world, help people, try shake up and change this world for the better, and advocate and protect those I love and the communities we're a part of.

20. No, I’m still on Earth, but also above and aware of it all.

Deitykin/Godkin Question List ᯓ★

Do you have memories of being a deity? If so, what are they like?

Do you remember what your divine form looked like? If so, describe it!

Did you have a specific domain or aspect you ruled over (e.g., love, war, nature)?

Did mortals or other beings worship you? How does that memory feel?

Do you feel a connection to specific myths, cultures, or religions in this life?

Are there particular symbols, rituals, or practices that resonate with you as a deitykin?

Were you considered benevolent, neutral, or malevolent in your divine role?

How do you view mortals and humanity now compared to your past divine role?

Did you have a specific way of manifesting to mortals, such as dreams, visions, or physical apparitions?

Did you grant blessings, curses, or other forms of divine influence?

Were you revered or feared more than loved by mortals?

What song do you associate with yourself?

If you had a shrine today and were worshipped on a large-scale level, what items would people leave as offerings?

What offerings would you demand in today’s world?

What place would mortals associate with you (e.g., beaches, forests, mountains)?

Did you have a specific way of manifesting to mortals, such as dreams, visions, or physical apparitions?

Did you have relationships with other deities, mortals, or beings?

Do you remember what your divine form looked like?

Do you feel like you still have a purpose or role tied to your divine identity?

Did you reside in a specific realm or plane of existence as a deity?

These questions were inspired by @/courtroom-confession. Feel free to reblog and share your own questions, I encourage you to do so as I am curious as well.

I am also always open to answer any questions to those who seek knowledge, my friend, as I am open to all that you wish to know.