#and then i had a breakdown over trying to explain to her that im not going anywhere yet and that she isn't losing me yet.

[the-gay-prometheus]

.

[shurisneakers]

unsolved (v)

Summary: Bucky doesn't even believe in the paranormal. So who the hell thought it was a good idea to stick him in a series about everything haunted for the internet's amusement? With his loose-canon of a teammate who has no concept of subtlety or shits left to give, to make things even worse. (Buzzfeed unsolved AU)

Warnings: swearing, frustrated bucky, obnoxious reader, witchcraft

A/N: it's like i never left amirite (im sorry it has been like 10 months pls forgive me ily guys let's pretend this series never went on hiatus) (i had cancer and college but now I've graduated from both and i live babyyy. anyway. welcome back to my house of horrors)

Previous part || Series masterlist

When you tell Maya you want to do witchcraft, you'd done so with the full expectation of defending your idea with the force of a PhD student who was on the verge of a mental breakdown.

She surprisingly agrees. 

“Really?” It's hard to stop the astonishment from entering your voice. Honestly, it sort of pisses you off that the Canva presentation you spent five hours on wouldn't actually see the light of day.

“Yeah, sure. I think it'd do well with the older demographic. ” She shrugs.

"Really?" Now you weren't sure she was on the same plane of existence as you were.

“Make some animals talk. Conjure up some parking spots.”

Ah. 

“I was thinking more like... hexing people and shadow demons,” you test slowly.

That seems to tether her to reality.

Her head cranes towards you centimetre by centimetre, like she was buffering in real time.

“Are you insane?" she states, not very much sounding like she was expecting an answer. "Do you want to end up on the news? Do you know how vicious Facebook groups can be?” 

“No PR is bad PR,” you preach wisely, parroting advice you’d seen bots on Twitter tell other bots. 

“That doesn’t apply to you. I already have a tough time explaining Stephen Strange and why he’s not literally the devil to the public."

Now that was a little unfair. Perhaps it warranted another Canva presentation.

"Have you considered that I'm hotter and significantly cooler than Stephen Strange?" you suggest helpfully.

She squints at you, or more likely your audacity. "I will not have another scandal on my hands this week.” 

“But next week is okay?”

Her hardened stare tells you quickly what a thousand words cannot.

You cross your arms over your chest. “Thou limit me so, Maya. How is one to find you invigorating content in these trying circumstances?”

Maya taps your shoulder on her way out, crooning, “There’s a reason I asked you to do this series. You’ll figure it out.”

You hide a smile with an all too dramatic sigh. “Thou compliment me so. How am I to not fall in love with thee?”

Maya shakes her head playfully. “Nothing that will get me called into a press conference by mid-day. No hexing. No extreme curses. ”

“Mid-level curses it is, then” you call after her.

Her leaving figure does not give you a reply.

After a week of staring at the corner of his room through the night, delirious to the point where he seriously considered using Sam’s Amazon Prime account to buy his own stupid ghost apparatuses, Bucky throws in the towel.

Clearly, he was mistaken. Sleep deprived and probably missing his family a little more than he would have ever admitted to a living soul.

Bucky's sleep deprivation adds to his already charming and sociable personality.

No one would touch him with a ten-foot pole. Bucky’s usually grumpy and while everyone had sort of built a tolerance towards his regular nonsense, he was now the very sexy combination of grumpy and sensitive.

For his part, after last week's shenanigans, Bucky has stuck to avoiding anything and everything horror.

He watches only romcoms and finds that while everyone says he seems most like Harry from Harry Met Sally, he hates that Mike Wazowski motherfucker with a passion. 

While everyone else seems to get the memo, you have chosen to ignore it blissfully, and have instead been prancing about all week, shoving meme after meme into his face.

Bucky Barnes smiling compilations that were 7 seconds long. Bucky Barnes social media fanfictions that showed him replying far more than he had ever replied to anyone in real life ever.

Bucky’s learnt to ignore you with a long-suffering glare. You adapt quickly, skillfully dodge the daggers shooting out of his eyes and shove another TikTok in his face. It is an edit of him to Toxic by Britney Spears. He doesn't want to ask where they got some of the footage they used.

After the fifth Twitter screenshot, he takes to avoiding you like the plague.

Unfortunately for Maya, that involved avoiding the set too. He sees on the official The Graveyard Shift channels that there’s an announcement put out about an episode delay. 

It is undeniably his fault. No, he still won't answer the group chat or the several knocks at his door every day.

But because the universe is invested in his sorrow, you seem to find him wherever he goes.

In the garden, digging through the vegetable bed.

In the storeroom, looking through oversized cookware.

When he walked into the alley behind the Tower and found you there, he hissed at you like a feral cat and you asked very loudly what the fuck was wrong with him. 

He checks every part of him and all his clothes for a tracker but no-- you just seem to have a karmic connection level of being exactly where he is. 

When he runs into you for the fourth time at the library, he really thinks he’s lost it.

“Are you following me?” he asks, voice sharp.

You look at him in wonder. “Your ego is so big it could have its own gravitational pull. How do you carry around your massive head all day?"

“Everywhere I go, you’re there.” He continues, finger pointing in accusation. 

“Bitch, you're the one who walked in here," you exclaim. "I’ve been here all day.”

“Doing what?”

“Who’s following who now?” you dare.

“Because you’re in this section.” He does a quick check to see what section it actually is. Witchcraft and Wizardry. He may not have known that when he accused you but he definitely was not wrong.

“Why do you care what I do here?”

Because he's wondering if he’s managed to shut down production permanently and sent a bunch of people into unemployment.

“I don’t trust you here," he settles on instead. "What are you actually doing?"

“I’m learning things. Gaining knowledge. And such." You gesture vaguely before you narrow your eyes at him. "Not that you would know, you ape.”

He scoffs. He had the intelligence of a thousand suns, mind you.

“You don’t even have a book," he counters.

“So? I’m gaining knowledge through osmosis.” You look around. “I’m absorbing.”

His nose twitches, teeth clenched.

“Whatever,” he mumbles instead, turning his attention to the bookshelf.

As he thumbs through various titles he’s too annoyed to read, a small movement catches his attention. 

He watches you from the corner of his eyes. 

“What?” you demand, this whole exchange too damn loud for a library. 

“What?” he challenges right back. “Why are you watching me?”

“Why am I– you’re the one staring at me.” You throw your hands up. “First you follow me here, second you accuse me of things that would get me burnt at the stake a couple of years ago, third you accuse me of watching you just 'cause you know you're pretty. You–”

Bucky narrows his eyes, not missing the random compliment you slipped in.

“Hold on just one second. That’s why you’ve been avoiding everyone all week.” You stare at him, wide-eyed and unrelenting.

He thinks he must have missed some part of the conversation because he has no idea why you're looking at him like you've figured him all out.

“That’s why you’ve been so jumpy and sleep deprived ever since that episode you filmed.”

Bucky’s gaze doesn’t waver, but his mind races and his breath falters for a second. There’s no goddamn way you knew what had gone down, he’d deleted every footage that could possibly–

“You missed me.”

He stops his overthinking right in its tracks.

“That’s it, isn’t it?” You tilt your head, face full of pure sympathy. “You filmed one episode without me by your side and realised you couldn’t live without me.”

“Fucking ridiculous,” he mutters, eyes pressed closed tighty, partially in relief. 

“You want me, don’t you? You want me so bad it makes you throw u–”

“Fuck off.” Bucky turns on his heel at the speed of light.

“You have a fat, raging crush–”  

“I’m fuckin' moving out.” His voice is like rocks.

“You can move out, but you can never move on, baby,” you whisper-shout. “When’d you realise you liked me, Bucky? Night one? The first hou–”

He slams the library door behind him. 

From: Stevie Left some strawberries outside your door. They’re good. 

From: Stevie How are you doing today, by the way?

From: Bucky alive

From: Bucky and thanks 

From: Stevie Anything we have to talk about? Your wood chisels didn’t break again, did they?

From: Bucky nothing im fine

From: Stevie You sure? Time for a Cypress Hills visit?

From: Bucky no im fine 

From: Stevie You haven’t left the room in a week. Beat your old record and I'm going to start getting worried here.

Bucky stares at his phone wondering how he ended up with a mother a century after his own died, before sighing.

From: Bucky going to film a video this week. im fine

From: Bucky promise 

Because there really was no other way to convince Steve that he as leaving the cave he constructed from his comforter.

From: Steve Good to hear. I’m always across the hallway if you need anything. 

From: Bucky i know. your gramophone won’t let me forget it. 

From: Steve Dick.

From: Bucky it is too damn loud. old ass

From: Steve Got a new record. Haven’t listened to it yet.

From: Bucky ill be there in 10

That Friday, Bucky walks onto the set in his finest black hoodie and darkest sunglasses, looking less like a badass and entirely like a hungover teenager. 

Before he has a chance to even register what’s going on, he is ambushed by lights, a team touching up his face and his stupid dollar store sunglasses leave him before he has a chance to protest.  

“I told you he’d show up,” you pipe up proudly from your place at the table. “Lil' shit simply missed me too–”

“Stop,” he interrupts, finally getting around to look at the set when the foundation brushes stop assaulting his line of vision. 

For a hot second, he thinks you've taken over Steve's cooking show. 

There are candles floating around, which he assumes you're holding up. A large… cauldron, gigantic wooden mixing spoons and 50 little bowls worth of ingredients are neatly arranged on the table.

“What the hell is going on?” he questions immediately. “What is all this?”

“Mise en place, baby,” you reply, shutting a book you had on the table loudly before looking at him. “You’re on dish duty. Come on.” 

“What?” His eyebrows pull into a frown. 

You dust off your hands before reaching under the table and chucking an apron at him. “Back when I worked as a line cook, the number one rule was to clean up as you go. I like to think of it as--”

“What is going on here?” he specifies, already trying to piece together your timeline in his head with every new piece of lore.

“Welcome to my kitchen, motherfucker.” Your grin is nefarious. “We're gonna do some witchcraft.” 

After he spends fifteen minutes on the phone with Maya confirming that yes, that is indeed the episode and that the heads up he needed would have reached him if he opened the seventeen million messages on the group chat– he finally comes to stand behind the bench with you, a tick in his jaw but also with enough self-awareness to be sheepish. 

He thought his grand return to the channel would be a simple video with some ghost reading or whatever, not… this. 

He turns to you, ready to reach a compromise that ends with him not having to be there at all.

But in the fifteen minutes he had turned his attention to the call, you’ve somehow convinced them to start rolling before he gets the chance to leave, so he’s immediately hit with a--

“We’re on in three…two–”

“Where is your apron?” you demand, looking him up and down.

“I’m not wearing that shit.” It had some stupid slogan like ‘Life is about taking whisks!’ and he had already been through enough.

“Jeez, annyone would think that you're not in love with me--"

"I'm not."

"--by the way you're so ungrateful. I got that custom-made for you,” you tsk. “I could've gotten the other one. Mine could've said ‘he’s my sweet potato’ and yours could've said ‘I yam’.”

Bucky experiences a whole-body chill. 

“Whatever," you dismiss with a wave of hand before looking into the camera. "Before we get started, we recognize that for some, witchcraft is a deeply meaningful religion and spiritual practice that should be approached with respect and curiosity.”

“We’re not claiming this is the definitive guide to witchcraft, we’re simply trying out a book that’s been highly recommended for better or worse, and seeing where it leads us. Whaddya say, Bucko?

You look at him for input. Bucky stares at the dusty, hole-ridden monstrosity on the table.

“What’s it called?” Bucky asks finally after a long pause.

You tap the thick, old book. “Witchcraft for Weenies: A Totally Legit Guide to Authentic Witchcraft by A. Harkness.”

“Is that the actual name or are you just making it up?”  

“Rich coming from the only one between us who actually lied on camera--" you glare at him. "I would never fabricate my sources, I’m a champion for academic integrity.”

You pick up the book to show him, flipping it towards the camera too and sure enough, the book that was basically falling apart at the binding was called exactly that.

“Let’s-a go, baby.”

You stare at him, lips pressed together. Bucky gives no inclination towards changing his answer. 

“Fine. We’re going to do this the hard way, I see.” You exhale, reaching into the pocket of your apron. 

Bucky’s eyebrows knit together when you brandish a deck of cards, yank his arm towards you and drop it into his open palm. 

“Shuffle," you command.

Something very familiar faces him.

Bucky stares at the cards before looking back at you. “Why’s my face on it?”

“It’s a tarot deck I got from Comic Con,” you insist. “Avengers themed. Now shuffle it.”

He thinks you left that card on top on purpose, but regardless, he's already been too much of a menace to the crew to be the cause of any more disturbance.

So he slowly begins, careful and skilled, before you scoff in his face.

“Faster, grandpa," you chide. “I’ve seen the way those hands cut garlic when no one’s around, I know you move faster than that.”

Bucky rolls his eyes but complies anyway, shuffling the cards with the adeptness only a certain Jim Morita could have taught him in a dark tent to keep him awake on a night watch. 

“Faster,” you goad, face smug. “Faster. Come on now, Barnes, your age finally catching up to you?”

It’s stupid– he doesn’t even know why he’s actually complying and increasing his speed. He can’t believe that he was letting you pressure him.

“C’mon, faster, Barnes, you abso-”

His hands were moving so fast by then that they’d have to put the video in slow motion to catch all the movement.

“Faster–” and in the commotion, a few cards fly out.

“Brilliant, thanks.” You slam them down on the table, plucking the deck out of his hand before he has a chance to process why the fuck he actually went ahead with what you were trying. 

“Right, so the universe has decided that these will be your cards,” you tell him, and he finally looks down at what had fallen out of the deck. 

The cards show Sam’s Captain America shield, Carol Danvers, and Spider-Man, with words written below.

“The Star, Six of Cups, The Hanged Man,” you read out thoughtfully.  

Bucky rolls his eyes so hard he thinks they’ll fall out of his skull. 

“You know, I’m going to just make a general assumption and say you need help.” You hum to yourself. “I'm gonna make a potion to get you some.”

“Get me some?” He's too busy trying to figure out what the cards could possibly mean to see that he's walked straight into that one.  

“Get you some perspective. You need an advisor who’ll dish it to you straight. Give you the facts, no bullshit–”

"No." He had too many of those in his life and he has had enough of people being “honest” and "straightforward” and telling him his moustache was ugly every time he dared to try out a new look–

Until you reach under the table and again and suddenly, there’s a white creature buzzing around on the table in front of him.

“Behold– your new advisor,” you announce.

From the corner of his eye Bucky can see the production team scrambling to figure out where the hell this was going. He lip-reads producers’ orders to find adoption links or resources to insert during post-production, and teasers on social media, to make this look more planned. Great, so no one was prepared-- it wasn't just him.

“Whose fucking cat is this?” He looks down at it, all white except for a few brown spots all around, green eyes and evil in her aura.

“Relax, I'll give her back when we're done.”

“Give her ba–” he echoes. “Where did you get her?” 

“The alley outside,” you coo, rubbing under her chin. “I checked and she doesn’t have an owner. But look at her, she’s meant to be here.”

Bucky looks at the cat. The cat looks back at him, irises narrowing into slits. His nose twitches. 

“You can’t just bring a cat–”

“Remember to adopt, not shop,” you say to the camera before clapping your hand. “Anyway. If my potion goes according to plan, she will be giving you unsolicited life advice for eternity.” 

“You will be unemployed, then,” Bucky manages to add while watching the chaos unfold behind the camera.

“Nonsense, I’m irreplaceable.” You grin. “Besides, you can't manufacture chemistry like this even in a cauldron.” 

You send him a flying kiss. His glower was as sharp as laser beams.

“Let’s get started.” You grin at the camera. 

Bucky tries to pet the cat. She hisses at him.

Well all-fucking-right then.

One hour later, things have descended into madness of the most mundane kind.

It was precisely when you started telling him ten minutes in that a book had nothing on your instincts and raw intelligence that Bucky knew that this was going to shit. 

The cauldron was on an electric stove unlike the open fire demanded by the book because the team had enough foresight to know it would be a fire hazard.

You toss in something that looks like cardamom but he isn’t sure at this point. He just wanted to get away from the bright lights and the strange smiling liquid boiling awai.

The cat sits obediently by your side, watching curiously. He is convinced that she is evil.

Unfortunately, Bucky has had to hold her back twice when she tried to stick her paw in to attack a bubble, and at this point, he doesn’t think he has it in him to do it a third time. 

You read the recipe as if it makes any sort of fucking difference now.

“We’re almost done,” you sing. 

Bucky nurses his headache.  “Don't give me hope.” 

“Put some more reegelbeetle seeds in,” you dictate. “This is gonna work, I can feel it.”

Bucky uses his free hand to do as you say. He doesn’t even think it’s the right one, he just reaches for whatever is closer to you and you don't seem to care either.

You toss in some more seeds, stir twice and then turn off the stove. 

“Boom.” You lift the spoon up, watching the thick liquid drip back. “This is either a talking potion or a hex.” 

"Hex to do what?”

“I think it activates dormant allergies.” You squint at the book that literally had no significance besides being a prop. “You got any?”

“No.” But it makes him think of Steve’s pollen allergies. 

“Oh. Well, then there’s only one outcome here.”

“Alright, here we go.” Of the gigantic pot that you’d just stirred, you fish the tiniest amount out on the smallest spoon he’d ever seen, which you also apparently stored in the vast space that was your apron pocket.

The cat watches you hold the spoon near its face.

It takes a sniff. Then two. Finally, after deeming it non-poisonous, it sticks out its tongue the tiniest bit and takes a lick.

The whole crew is silent.

Bucky’s hand is still pressing against his temples.

“Tell us your name,” you urge, voice hopeful.

The cat looks at Bucky, and for a second, something akin to understanding flashes in its eyes. It’s uncanny and weird and something about it unsettles him deeply. 

You seem to catch it too because you look at him in surprise. He looks back at you, face pulled into a frown. 

And for a moment, he wonders. If you'd somehow done it. Because there’s no fucking way–

Then it meows.

He exhales.

Your shoulders drop as you let out an “Aw, man.”

"Great. Goodbye. Like and subcribce to the bell icon," he calls out, dusting his hands against his pants.

Someone from the production crew sneezes.

Both of you turn to him immediately. 

At the same instant, someone else all the way on the opposite end sneezes again, and the whole crew turns to look at them, before another sneezes in the front.

“We did it!” you cheer.

“We didn’t do jack,” Bucky interjects immediately as the crew errupts into a cacophony of chatter and sneezes.  

“It’s a hex that activates allergies and they’re sneezing,” you point towards them with the spoon, triumphant.

“You threw fifteen fuckin' pounds of pepper in there,”  he argues. “You've turned this room into a sandstorm of dry spices. This proves nothing.” 

“I’ve connected the dots.” Your eyes shine, ignoring him.  

“You didn’t connect shit.”

“I’ve connected them.” 

Someone in the corner sneezes. He wonders if Steve’s allergies would be activated by the trace amounts of... cursed soup that he carries with him back to the floor. 

“Well, we can’t leave them like this, Bucky.” You look around, tsking. “We gotta make a reverse hex or something.”

“You can,” he says. “It’s called opening the windows.”

“Nope,” you pop the last syllable. “We’re making another potion. C’mon.”

“First of all, this is not a potion–” he begins, but is interrupted by a buzz on his phone, the screen lit up by a text on the groupchat. 

From: Maya I don’t give a shit if it’s placebo or not. Make a damn potion before you get sued for hexing employees. 

“Fine,” he grumbles. 

“Beautiful. Grab the ash sphinx flakes,” you brandish another big cauldron from fuck knows where.

Bucky stares at you, unmoving.

“Just get the oregano,” you sigh. 

The cat tries sticking her paw in the pot again.

Bucky feels a sneeze incoming.

Whether the hex and subsequent anti-hex Maya forced you to make at gunpoint was real or not, is yet to be determined scientifically.

What actually does happen, is the damn apron you give him carries enough trace amount of your stupid experiment, that it somehow activates Steve’s very real pollen allergy. Bucky finds himself on edge for the rest of the day every time the man rattles the walls with his middle aged dad sneezing.

It carries on over to his show, which means Steve’s episode on baking a 1950s chocolate cake from tomato soup is edited extremely strangely to cut out every sneeze.

Which means Nat’s episode on spy inaccuracies in Argylle takes twice as long to film because they have to take a few seconds every time Steve’s sneezes interrupt her from the set next door.

Which means Bruce’s video on the science behind memory is delayed on shooting.

All in all, something does seemed to have been hexed, but it mostly seems to be everyone’s fucking productivity.

Finally, everyone manages to get through the day, and the videos are sent to post production.

The same night when everyone’s gathered at the dining table to commemorate the end of another shoot day, Bucky slips out, knowing that Steve would save him a slice of pizza if he never returned. 

He goes back to the library to return his copy of Understanding Wood Finishing, when his curiosity leads him back down a familiar path. 

It’s where he finds you again, in the same corner as the last time, on the floor, surrounded by shelves.

“You again.” You quirk an eyebrow when he appears from the shadows. "Aren't you supposed to be eating pizza?"

“What are you absorbing now?” he asks, voice low for once, respecting the sanctity of the library now that day had slipped into night and everything seemed a bit more solemn now.

“Nothing,” you answer.

“Then why are you here?” 

He figured you’d be out there, introducing everyone to the cat that was now set to be roaming the halls, before someone assumed it was a shapeshifting enemy and dealt with it accordingly.

“God forbid someone get some peace and quiet for once,” you mumble. “It’s too loud out there.”

Oh.

You don’t say anything else, leaning back against the bookshelf with your eyes closed.

There really isn't a need for more words. He gets it. 

The understadning leaves silence in its wake. Bucky doesn't really have anything to say.

“Did you come here just to stare at me?” you ask finally. “Did you finally admit your feelings?” 

“Jesus Christ,” he groans. “I’m not in love with you.”

“Only a matter of time.” You smile before changes to something more subdued, a bit more serious. “You wanna talk about what’s actually been bugging you for the last week?”

Bucky looks at you wearily. “The tarot cards tell you something?”

You eye him. “Not more than what’s obvious. Wanna talk about it?”

He swallows, throat suddenly feeling like it's closing in on itself. 

“No.”

“Alrighty.” 

You say nothing more than that, leaving the both of you in relative quiet, save for the buzz of the warm fluorescent light above. 

Bucky takes an awkward seat next to you on the floor.

You pry open an eye to look at him in suspicion.

“Y’mind?” he manges.

“Mind what?”

He gestures to himself uncomforably, readiy to jump up and leave at any second.

You observe him for a second, and for once he stares back with no irritation in his look, just permission.

“No, you can sit.” You close your eyes. “So long as you don’t tell anyone else 'bout this place.” 

If there’s anything Bucky’s good at, it’s keeping a secret. 

He settles back into the shelf with an exhale, letting the weight of day roll off his shoulders.

You wordlessly slide a thermos towards him. He doesn’t even have to open it to know it’s the damn soup from that afternoon.

And if he’s being honest, it doesn’t taste that bad at all. 

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Next part

[naturesapphic]

Yn throwing a BIG tantrum she was having a bad bad week and came home and saw that billie had some friends over and she was laughing with them and all when previously she told you that she had to concentrated on her album so y’all couldn’t have a little moment together like a movie night. After her friends left the tantrum begged and I mean like slamming doors screaming cursing crying pushing her away trowing things and all

Ignored

billie eilish x fem!reader

Warnings: screaming, cussing, shoving, breakdown

Relief filled your body as you got out of your car and walked up to the shared house with your girlfriend. You couldn’t wait to go inside and relax after having one of the worst weeks. You unlocked the front door and your ears heard laughter fill the whole house. Confused, you walked further in the house, stepping into the living room to see billie and her friends cutting up. You felt your heart drop down to your stomach and watched as Billie was cuddled up between two friends.

You remembered Billie telling you that she had to focus on her music. That was her excuse for not having a movie night with you this week and now here she is, out of her studio and cutting up with her friends. You saw Billies eyes look over at you and a frown takes over her face. She knew she had fucked up. Immediately Billie told that it was time for them to go so she could spend some time with you and they all awed at how cute that was. You didn’t even pay attention, you were so deep in your head. When her friends left that’s when all hell broke lose.

“Y/n listen-“ Billie began but you didn’t want to hear any of her bullshit. “N-no! Fuck you billie! You kept saying “oh I need to work on my music” blah blah blah. Yet, here you were, hanging out with your fucking friends when I’ve been trying to hang out with you one on one for weeks!” You shout as you start to walk away from her. “Hey! Don’t walk away we need to talk about this. Please let me explain.” Billie begged as she gently grabbed your arm to keep you from walking away. “What’s there to explain! You don’t want to hang out with your girlfriend!” You spat out as you yanked your arm away from her and stomped up the stairs as tears burned your eyes.

Billie sighed and followed closed behind you. “I do want to hang out with you! They texted me last minute to see if I was free and I was!” Billie explained and you scoffed. You went to go to y’all’s room when Billie ran in front of you to block you from going in. Filled with rage and annoyance, you pushed her out of the way which caused her to stumble away but she stood back up easily and looked at you with a glare. You pushed past her and slammed the door shut and Billie immediately started banging on it. “Y/n…open this fucking door!” She yelled out and you didn’t say anything so she kept banging. “Fuck you billie!” You cry out and she smirked on the other side of the door. “Okay. Then unlock the door so I will.” She said, trying to lighten the situation.

“Please babygirl unlock the door. I’m really sorry.” She begged and you sighed. You went up to the door and unlocked it then went to sit on the edge of the bed. Billie opened the door slowly and peeked her head and spotted you. She went over to you and sat down beside you but left a little gap in the middle to give you some space. “Do you still love me?” You ask with a shaky breath as you look up at her. Your eyes showing vulnerability and fearfulness. “Babygirl…of course I do. You’re the love of my life.” She breathed out as she scooted closer to you and took your face in her soft hands. “I am so sorry that im making you this upset. I absolutely hate it. When they texted, I was getting done with work early so I could spend time with you when you got home but I didn’t know when you would be home so I said yes to their message. Plus I haven’t seen them in a while and I missed them.” Billie explained and you nodded your head.

“I-im sorry…” you whimpered out as fresh new tears blurred your vision. “Princess…don’t be sorry…I know you were extremely upset and acted out on it. We will work through it together but im not mad at you so don’t worry your pretty little head about it.” She said softly, reassuring you. “Now…why don’t we go downstairs and have our movie night hm?” Billie said smiling at you. She stands up and extends her hand out for you to take and you grab it, her helping you up. The two of you went downstairs and started the movie night, finally spending some quality time together.

A/n: thank you anon for this request! I hope you and everyone else enjoyed it. GUYS OMG IM ALMOST AT 3,000 FOLLOWERS OMG! Remember to stay hydrated and to rest! Take care of yourselves. I love y’all :)

[debonairprincesposts]

Absolutely loved your Lucifer x Son reader!! Can we get a part 2? Im eager to see how Charlie and the gang may react!

Hello Anon! Here’s my take on what would’ve happened in the aftermath. As requested. Wasn’t really planning on making more content relating to this Au, but here we are! This is the last one, I hope. The gang haven’t met (Name) so they won’t be included in this.

Enjoy (。•̀ᴗ-)✧

Lucifer was basically contemplating every bad decision he's ever made in his life as he stares at the face of his unconscious son.

He barely managed to save (Name)’s wing by reattaching it, but it'll take a while before it's usable again.

Coat and hat off, sleeves rolled up to his elbows, his hair disheveled from running his fingers through it in his moment of stress.

Eyes rimmed red from crying, cheeks stained with tears as he rubbed his eyes to get rid of the heavy feeling you usually get from crying so much.

He practically started having a mental breakdown the moment he knew that (Name)’s life wasn’t in any immediate danger. It wasn’t until a few minutes ago that he finally calmed down.

Sitting on a chair next to his son's bed, Lucifer sighs as he puts his face in his hands. He hasn't told Charlie yet. He doesn't really know how he should go about explaining what happened at the palace without freaking her out.

Wounds inflicted by angelic steel take longer to heal. He doesn’t know how long it would take for (Name) to wake up. It’s been about 3 hours since the attack, and he’s been restless ever since.

Still no sign of movement from (Name) as he lays motionless on his bed. The only way Lucifer could tell that he’s even still alive is the slow rise and fall of his chest.

Running his fingers through his hair as he stood up from his chair, reaching for his phone in his pocket, he hesitated to call Charlie. He didn’t know how to disclose the situation to her. There’s no easy way of doing this. I mean- how do you go about telling your child that her brother could possibly end up in a coma after being attacked by bloodthirsty psycho angels! That’s ridiculous! Everything about this is ridiculous! He’s ridiculous! He’s literally the King of Hell! He should’ve done more to ensure the protection of his son! If he just had the time to construct a barrier around his home then maybe this wouldn’t have happened in the first place. If he hadn’t been in a hurry to go save Charlie, he would’ve given it more thought. The fact that (Name) would be left defenseless all by himself with no one to help him. It’s basically a miracle that he even managed to survive all by himself. What with his inexperience in life or death fights. What kind of father would he be if he can’t even protect his children from harm! An incompetent one, he thinks.

His hands shake as he grips his phone. Taking a deep breath, he presses on Charlie’s contact and hopes that everything goes well.

“Dad! Thank goodness you’re okay! I’ve been trying to call you ever since you left in a hurry earlier- Is everything alright?” Just hearing Charlie’s voice over the phone makes him want to cry again.

He swallows the lump in his throat, “I-I’m okay, sweetie! It’s just- uhh,” just say it dammit! That’s her brother! She needs to know! “It’s (Name). He- he’s not doing good at the moment.” He cringes at his attempt.

“What?! Is he okay?! What happened?”

“He-,” his throat felt dry as he swallowed, “the palace was attacked.”

“WHAT?! Is (Name) okay?!” Her panicked voice could be heard over the phone. He tried to breathe properly to not breakout into another panic attack. “Dad?! Why aren’t you saying anything?!! You’re scaring me!”

“He’s-,” he winces at the break in his voice before clearing his throat, “He’s okay now! I managed to get here on time before he-,” his voice cracked again as tears wells up in his eyes.

The other side of the line goes silent for a bit. Charlie most definitely heard his pathetic attempt at trying to compose himself.

He clears his throat again, “His wounds are healing. But I don’t know when he’ll wake up.” He settled with. His voice raspy from crying.

On the other side of the line, Vaggie was standing next to Charlie, comforting her as she processes the information she just received. It was just them two in the lobby. Everybody else was either out or resting in their new rooms.

“Do you need me to come over, Dad?” Charlie asks.

“No need for that, apple pie- I’ll stay here until he recovers. You need to stay at your hotel. I can handle it. Promise.”

“Okay,” she swallows, forcing back her tears, “Call me if you need to. Okay, Dad?”

“Of course. Goodbye, sweetie.”

“Bye-,” he hangs up.

“Everything okay, babe?” Asks Vaggie, “You seem pretty worried.”

“Worried? Me? Pshh- no! Not at all! I mean- it’s not like the angels attacked my Dad’s castle and put my brother in a coma!-,” Charlie rambles.

“What?!” Vaggie yells in shock, “Is he okay?”

“Dad said that he’s okay. (Name)’s just resting-,” Charlie starts pulling at her hair. “Why would they attack him! He didn’t have anything to do with any of this!”

Vaggie doesn’t say anything. She just takes Charlie by the hand and takes her to their room as Charlie continues to worry about her brother. Which is valid cuz like- (Name)’s her brother-

When they reach their room, Vaggie takes Charlie by the hand and leads to bed.

“I’m sure he’ll be okay. He’s got your father’s blood flowing through his veins, no? He’ll wake up before you know it- Trust me.”

Charlie sniffles, “You really think so?”

Vaggie nods, “I know so. Now- why don’t we rest and cuddle. We’ve had a long day. I think we deserve some rest, don’t you think?”

Vaggie then helps Charlie change into pajamas as they both lay in each other’s arms in bed.

“Feeling better?” Vaggie asks.

Charlie nods, “I just hope he wakes up soon.” As they both continue cuddling in bed.

Imma be honest y’all. This isn’t my best work. Didn’t come out as well as I’d hoped. Kinda lost motivation half way through. Not sure if you can tell. But anyway! Here’s how I thought it would go. Hope y’all like it! Stay healthy and keep hydrated! ∠(ᐛ 」∠)

Bye babes!

-DebonairPrince

Help support your favorite author by buying them a ko-fi!

[khaylin27]

I Can Do It With A Broken Heart

pairing: lewis hamilton x popstar! reader

series: the tortured poets department

synopsis: popstar y/n l/n performs for the first time after her and lewis hamilton split due to 'differences'

warnings: not proofread 🙃 but none

author's note: IM SO SORRY I HAVEN'T POSTED IN A WHILE 😭 I've been dealing with my physical and mental health the past couple of months that I haven't been motivated to write. I've also been busy with college because I'm almost done. Hope y'all enjoy this!

I can read your mind

"She's having the time of her life"

There in her glittering prime

The lights refract sequined stars off her silhouette every night

I can show you lies (one, two, three, four)

yn_nation The lights refract sequined stars off her silhouette every night #WarsawYNTheErasTour 🩷✨See you in less than a fortnight! 🤍 #LondonYNTheErasTour

user1 THE QUEEN IS BACK IN LONDON OMG

user2 you know who also is from London 👀

user3 you think lewis would still go to her show even though they broke up? user4 we can only hope 😭🙏

'Cause I'm a real tough kid, I can handle it

They said, "Babe, you gotta fake it 'til you make it" and I did

Lights, camera, and smile, even when you wanna die

He said he'd love me all his life

It was the first of many nights performing in London. London meant so much to you. You and Lewis fell in love and made a whole life here. You really thought he was the one after six years of being together. It wasn't until Lewis decided to break up explaining that there were 'differences' in your relationship.

"I can't do this guys." You were having a breakdown in your changing room before the show. Oscar's wife and Alexandra were in the room trying to calm you down before the show.

Alexandra soothes you while you cry and Oscar's wife had enough of it. It was probably due to the pregnancy hormones. "I love you Y/N but I know you're a real tough kid, you can handle it."

You wipe your tears and look up at her, "When I went through everything with Carlos you told me 'babe, you gotta fake it 'til you make it' and that's what I did. I never got to thank you back then but I do now." Oscar's wife smiles thinking about the time Y/N encouraged her to go watch Lando race after the whole failed wedding with Carlos. If Oscar's wife didn't listen to Y/N back then she wouldn't have met Oscar and become his wife.

"Now I'm going to do the same for you. You can handle this Y/N, I've seen you through worse." Throughout your music career, many people have tried to ruin your reputation. "I know Lewis said he'd love you all his life but that's over now. Of course, it's a lot to go through but there are millions of people out there that love you."

Your conversation was interrupted by Charles and Oscar. They could see you three were going through an emotional situation. "Uhm the lady with the headset is yelling at us to tell you it's almost show time," Oscar says as quickly as possible then closes the door.

The three of you laugh at the awkward Australian, "That's my husband." Oscar's wife says with a smile.

"You can do this Y/N," Alexandra smiles as well.

As you three stand up, you give a hug to the both of them. "Thank you guys for being here. I don't know what I would do without you." You smile and pull away. "It's time to get on stage."

"We believe in you Y/N," Alexandra says before you leave to stand on the elevating platform.

You take deep breaths before the platform elevates to the main stage. As it's elevating you tell yourself, "Lights, camera, and smile. Even if you wanna die."

But that life was too short

Breaking down, I hit the floor

All the pieces of me shattered as the crowd was chanting, "More"

It was that segment of the concert where you would perform surprise songs to the audience.

"For one of my surprise songs tonight, I just wanted to share the story behind what I'm about to play next." You say starting to play the piano.

"London is a city I'll always love. I met the love of my life or so I thought." You were trying to hold back tears from the crowd. "That life was too short though." You smile through the tears. "I hope you like this song."

"But do you remember? Remember when I pulled up and said 'Get in the car' and then canceled my plans just in case you'd call?" You remember the times you would wait outside of Mercedes headquarters in your car to ask Lewis to spend time with you. But he didn't want to. You would cancel plans frequently just in case Lewis called. "Back when I was livin' for the hope of it all, for the hope of it all. 'Meet me behind the mall."

"So much for summer love and saying 'us.' Cause you weren't mine to lose." You were breaking down in tears singing this song. Remembering all the pieces of your relationship with Lewis shattered because there were 'differences' in your relationship.

As you continue playing the chords to August while crying, the crowd is chanting "More!"

I was grinnin' like I'm winnin'

I was hittin' my marks

'Cause I can do it with a broken heart

You looked up and grinned at the crowd. You realized that even though you lost the love of your life, it didn't matter anymore. Tons of people loved you for who you are. You were winning in life no matter what.

"It's new, the shape of your body. It's blue, the feeling I've got and it's ooh, whoa, oh. It's a Cruel Summer." The crowd goes wild at the mashup with August and Cruel Summer.

While you were hittin' all the marks to the song you realize that you could do it with a broken heart.

I'm so depressed, I act like it's my birthday every day

yn_nation #LondonYNTheErasTour I'm so depressed, I act like it's my birthday every day! 🩶 Y/N is back for five more dazzling #YNTheErasTour nights! 🤩

user1 SHE REALLY CAN DO IT WITH A BROKEN HEART

user2 it's amazing how y/n can put on a show every night while dealing with a breakup

user3 god chooses his strongest soldiers for battle 🫡

user4 did y'all see that the whole f1 grid + wags were at the show tonight? also, did you see LEWIS HAMILTON there too?

user6 WHAT!? user7 I wonder how that's going to turn out.

I'm so obsessed with him, but he avoids me like the plague

It was the F1 summer break and you decided to invite the whole grid to your last show in London. You were still close to the drivers and their wags to this day so they all said yes. What you didn't expect was your ex-boyfriend being here.

Everyone came to your room to greet you before the show started. It was almost time to start the concert but you were hoping Lewis would come by to say hi to you. You were still obsessed with him. Like Gwen Stefani said 'I'm just a girl."

"Did he come in here?" George's fiancé asks you. She knew the answer when you didn't respond.

"He's avoiding you like the plague." George scoffs and his fiancé turns around to side eye him for that comment.

You laugh at the couple for being themselves. "I really needed this laugh." You say as you get up from your chair. "I'm ready now."

Before you leave the room, you give George and his fiancé a hug. "Thanks for being here. I love and appreciate you two."

I cry a lot, but I am so productive, it's an art

"Hasn't it been an amazing week London!?" You smile as the crowd cheers for you. "It was for you guys but it was a rollercoaster of emotions for me." You laugh at your little joke. "You guys have probably seen me cry a lot the past couple of days, but I am so productive!" The crowd laughs and cheers. "It's an art!"

You start playing the piano, "I just want to say a special thank you to this city. It's a city I love so much. It has a lot of good and bad memories but you guys overrule those bad memories."

As the crowd cheers you start to explain your surprise song, "To conclude the last night of the London Eras Tour, I want to play a song or two for you guys. It might be sad at first like how I was at the beginning of the week but it gets light-hearted at the end."

You start playing the melody to So Long, London, and the whole crowd cheers. "I saw in my mind fairy lights through the mist. I kept calm and carried the weight of the rift. Pulled him in tighter each time he was drifting away."

"My spine split from carrying us up the hill. Wet through my clothes, weary bones caught the chill. I stopped trying to make him laugh. Stopped trying to drill the safe." You watch the crowd and the grid sing along.

"Thinkin', how much sad did you think I had. Did you think I had in me? Oh, the tragedy." You look at the VIP tent and see Lewis. "So Long, London. You'll find someone."

The melody on the piano transitions to London Boy and the crowd goes wild. "Who enjoys walking Camden Market in the afternoon. You'll love her American smile. Like a child when your eyes meet, darling, I fancied you."

"Take her back to Highgate, she'll meet all of your best mates. So I guess all the rumors are true. You know I loved a London boy. But I'll say so long to you." As the melody fades out, the crowds cheer. You smile back at them and then look back at Lewis.

Saying so long to Lewis is hard but having the support of friends and fans made you realize that they were all you needed.

You know you're good when you can even do it with a broken heart

yn_nation SO LONG, LONDON #LondonYNTheErasTour it's been an amazing week here in London. Thank you so much London fans for the good memories 🥹🤍✨

user1 you know you're good when you can PERFORM FOR A WHOLE WEEK IN FRONT OF A CROWD with a broken heart 😭

user2 the so long, london x london boy mashup 😭💔 it was basically a goodbye letter to lewis

user3 lewis was there too 🥲

tagged: @omgsuperstarg @splaterparty0-0 @2pagenumb @c-losur3

[menlove]

i saw on some of your posts that you say you aren’t an india truther, out of curiosity what do you think caused john and paul to have a fallout? do you think the resentment was more gradual and happened over 68-69? im sorry if you’ve answered this before but i love hearing about people’s theories of what happened in india and the aftermath.

sorry I totally forgot to answer this but for me.... hm. tossing under a readmore bc it got long oops

I think it was more gradual. like the way they act w each other in the get back sessions & just in general speaks more to something more unspoken happening than some big dramatic break up or rejection, at least to me. esp given how john & yoko lived with paul for a while in the summer of 68 (and talk about the world's worst throuple)

I wouldn't say I don't think Anything happened in india, but imo it seems more like.... I saw someone talking about how up until that point they were all on a lot of drugs & india was them getting off them for a minute & they sort of looked around and went "what the fuck are we doing? do I even know these people?" and that rings the most true to me I think.

some of the bigger reasons I have my doubts abt india being some huge thing where they fucked for the first time and paul rejected john are a) they still got along after that. things were weird but not much weirder than they'd been after brian's death b) paul wrote "i will" in india and I've talked before about how I'm 100% convinced that's about john and to me "will I wait a lonely lifetime, if you want me to I will" doesn't sound like the words of someone about to do any rejecting c) the infamous blowing the mic scene in get back is way too lighthearted and makes paul blush and giggle like they're just referencing fucking as a part of their relationship that happened enough to not be disarming. doesn't seem like john is being bitter or trying to egg him on and paul isn't reacting like someone that got called out for fucking john and then rejecting him. it reads more, to me, like just two lovers slyly joking around about a time they fucked that no one else can know about

which brings me to d) I'm also a "they had a sexual relationship" truther (which would be a whole other essay tbh) and so For Me Personally that just doesn't jive w smth big and dramatic happening in india. I just don't think they ever talked about what the fuck was going on between them, whatever it was, and then the typical band breakdown reasons coincided w a breakdown of their personal relationship as well. like just sort of dying out without much fanfare which can honestly be worse than some big rejection or breakup. and then ofc john goes full in with yoko and paul flounders around trying to settle down with a woman and marry her in such a weirdly frantic way. like that quote where he asks if he was supposed to be a 26 year old queer that never got married....... I would wager, imo, that things breaking down w john & then jane would've lead him to a bit of a Crisis about all that. but he found linda and went all in w her and she wound up pregnant so there you go.

which would lead them to a really weird place by the get back sessions, which I at least feel like is reflected pretty well- this awkward tension, paul's nervous desperation, nostalgia for the old times, lingering sexual tension. but not the attitude like they hated each other yet or had some big breakup or rejection. they're still joking and flirting, it's just awkward. the Big Moment would've been something else after that imo, probably john announcing he wanted a divorce but could've also been something more private that would go a long way to explaining why they were basically not on speaking terms at all by the abbey road sessions

again this is all Purely Speculation. mostly based on my more conflicting view from the fandom at large that they did have a sexual relationship and paul isn't as repressed/clueless as he puts on. so w those Two Beliefs in mind, this is sort of the trajectory that would make the most sense to me!

of course, without those two Core McLennon beliefs of mine I can see why people would point to india as the game changer if they think paul is a repressed bisexual who thinks he's straight while john pined over him. like it would make sense in that scenario if that's where the tension snapped & it was just a mess after that. but I very firmly and adamantly don't believe that so it's just hard for me to see the india theory as anything solid when there's a lot of other explanations for why india was such a shitshow

but all that is just me personally! don't have shit to back it up beyond what I can bring up about the evidence of a sexual relationship and paul being closeted that then lead me to these speculations based on that but yeah lmao

(and fun fact lmao whenever we publish it this is gonna be like half of the story of "i need you" so yall will get to see my fully baked opinion there mixed w just what I think would be fun or angsty dbshsjss)

[urarakasdiary]

- THE ETERNAL FOUNTAIN OF LOVE

Plantonic Dabi with his little sister! that suddenly turns yandere? sorry, I can't write anything cute.

First of all, Im so sorry for this long ass hiatus I wanted to get back to writing but I was going through some shit for the past year and a half 🥲 Im gonna try my best to get back to writing from now onwards. Enjoy! <3

Dabi never really liked you ever since his parents brought you home that day. He didn't want to admit it, but he wanted all the attention his dad could give only to himself. The attention was already torn away from him because of Shoto, you coming into the picture would make him invisible in the eyes of his father, which enraged him.

Of course, you were adopted; Rei could not handle another pregnancy. The day you came home, everyone noticed it. Touya's even more unusual behavior. He was staring daggers into your soul, cursing under his breath. He had thought why was he like this to you? Was he jealous? no way. You were just annoying. At least to him.

His father was a busy man, he would not visit the home often. Rei was sent away after the incident, Natsuo would go to school, and so would Fuyumi. That would leave him and you alone. He didn't think he would like spending any time with you alone, but you were actually kind of cute...and sweet? maybe even a breath of fresh air from his wild family? maybe it was because you were adopted, all his siblings tried their best to be kind and gentle with him, often keeping opinions about him to themselves and not pointing out his mistakes in fear of pissing him off. But you? god you ran your mouth so much with no hesitation.

You would be the first person to point out something wrong or mean he did or said. And you did it with no fear of him whatsoever. Growing up, he realized he loved you. You were the only partially sane person in this household.

"I will burn you so bad that even hell's fire will feel better than my flames"

"Touya-nii don't say that! that's mean. You should start taking classes on how to speak to people without making them piss their pants."

You were also the reason why he stayed home that cursed day. (The day he 'died'). You needed help with homework and asked him for help. He had not gone to school, ever. But since it was you who was asking, he learned it from YouTube just to teach you.

When you were in middle school some bullies learned you were adopted, and from then on they started picking and cursing at you. Some days the bullying was mild, somedays they would flush your face in the toilet bowl. You stayed quiet hoping they would change one day or another. But you could only handle so much.

Mental breakdowns were a familiar thing to you now, maybe even a friend who would visit often. Touya had picked up on your odd behavior, he shook it off for some days thinking it was a bad day or shit. But when the 'bad days' seemed more frequent, his worry grew.

He had you explain everything that was going on in detail. How could he have just shaken off your odd behavior? He didn't deserve to be your brother.

Maybe he was obsessive over his sister, but he was just looking after her.

Bullseye. He found them.

"Heard you girls love calling my sister names?"

"3 girls found dead at local playground, burned to death. Investigation launched on the 8th of April, no evidence or traces left behind, police suspect..."

He didn't expect the reaction you were giving from the news. He thought you would be happy, instead, you were crying yourself a river.

"Don't cry [name], come here"

You embraced yourself in the warmth of your brother, unsuspecting of anything.

"I'll always be there for you."

[babiebom]

Ranking my Mechat Matches Based on how much I Like Them(currently)

A/N: this isn’t to be mean or say I hate them or anything lmao it’s just for fun since I don’t see many Mechat posts on here and I wanna post something to make it obvious that I will write for them? Might be ooc for the writings but I try my best!!

Tw: cursing, some sexual mentions, maybe a little bit of bullying(affectionate and derogatory maybe), SPOILERS (maybe)

BC: at least 5 for each

Mechat Masterlist

First the guys since I am actually attracted to them:

1)Tamura Blood

Literal love of my life I’m always thinking about him

Like it’s not even like exaggerating when I say he’s taken over 90 percent of my daydreams

Like I was never really into the whole mafia romance thing before

But I genuinely want this man to be happy

Like I know he’s a character but I want him to be happy and if I have to write a million fics just to make it true for him I will

Like he actually cares even if he doesn’t show or say it and while I usually hate it he’s just so….

Idk how to explain it

He was my first match and when I first finished his story before they updated it twice I actually was VERY upset and checked on it every day to see if it would ever be updated

Idk what happens next because I’m playing through the updates now but

If me and him don’t get a happy ending I’m going to have a breakdown

I need a happy ending with him <3

The cheek kiss is the last thing I saw and I’m so mad he cheek kissed instead of lip kissed

Slow burn isn’t usually my favorite to read so this is actually killing me

But I literally look forward to his messages every day.

NAUR I FINISGED HIS STORY IN BETWEEN WRITING THIS AN DNOW IM SAD :((((( I LITERALLY J U S T BECAME HIS GORLFRIEND

MECHAT DEVS GIVE ME MORE TAMURA KISSES NOW!!!!!!!!!!

2)Yasuda Hitoshi

Honestly he annoyed me at first and I found it fun to mess with him

But he grew on me

Like even before him and me(the character obviously) started getting along he started to slowly work his way up on my list

And now that we’re getting married and he has told me about the monsters or whatever that he had to save me from

He’s super sweet even if he’s still sorta a big meanie

I think it’s cute

Like YES I love the guy who is mean to everyone but me trope

Like yeah he’s not mean but he isn’t really outgoing or nice with other people

Like he jokes and is cute and UGH

And the way he actually stands up to his parents for you is literally swoon worthy

LOVE MY MAN MY MAN MY MAN

3)Johnny Roe

Honestly I think I skipped him the first couple times he popped up as a match

And then when I saw everyone talking about him I thought it was like

…..everyone was over hyping him

But then I got him as a match again

So I matched with him

And he’s actually so cute

And his storyline is cute

And he’s like one of my favorites (obviously seeing as he’s number three)

I now understand the hype surrounding him because I would actually kill someone for this man

And I want to fight the mother so bad

It makes me upset how he’s always like “she’s still my mom”

Like yeah but she literally ABUSED YOU?????

Like I understand completely and I know it would be hard to just turn off loving her for him

But UGH

I want permission to throw hands

And honestly not to trauma dump my mom is the same way

Like she’s not abusive but she was abused by our family when she was a kid(including my grandmother)

And she’s so fiercely protective of her and like I love my grandmother but UGH I have like a place of resentment in my heart for her because e my mom didn’t deserve any of the bad things that has happened to her

So I know firsthand what it’s like to have a parent somewhat like Johnny(my mom doesn’t have agoraphobia)

I guess that’s why I’m super fond of him? Because he’s familiar in a way to me

I just want him to be happy :(

4)Optimo Lynx

I got a crush on him slowly

Like at first I was MEH about him

But then he was a cute nerd who is studying to be a….doctor(????? I forgor sorry)

AND on the other hand he’s a superhero who has literally saved me twice

Like actually I love him

Very smart and cares about people

Like actually HE SAVES LIVES

Like ?????? It’s sad that the public can’t know his identity bc the government will be mad

And the fact I think he would hate that

But he deserves to be paid for saving people the way that he does

And studying on top of that

Like I wouldn’t be able to IMPRESSIVE MAN

wanna give him kisses

ALSO ALSO ALSO

I don’t think I’ve EVER mentioned this on my blog

But black hair blue eyes combo is my favorite

So actually he’s my dream man

I wanna give him more kisses!!!!

I NEED MORE GEMS SO I CAN KISS HIM

And maybe suck his dick if he lets me

5)Zander Echo

When I first started his storyline I only wanted to get him to like me bc he hated me

Like Oh? You hate me? You won’t after I follow this simple plan

But then he started growing on me because he calls me his little snack

And I know he means it in a cannibalistic way but it’s hot so oh well

Then he actually started caring about me kinda

And showed me the ocean in a way that didn’t terrify me (I’m afraid of the ocean)

Like actually while this is lowkey my worst nightmare

I can breathe underwater and I’m not dying or anything so it’s less scary

But I’m still scared of the ocean

It he has a castle that I live in so it’s FINE

Literally would help me get over my fear if he wouldn’t eat me

Also I wish I could give him smooches

6)Azur Blackshade

Ghost man ghost man grim reaper ghost man

Hot hot man

Actually so interesting

And sad

I wanna know how he works

Like I wanna pick at his mind

Honestly ghost types aren’t my favorite monster types but UGH

He makes me wanna write a fanfic of a ghost love interest or something

Really really like him

7)Jozef Chrobak

He was my number one for a HOT WHILE

like I think he’s so hot

And his art style is attractive

Like he’s a VERY good looking man

I do like making people like me

And the fact that he was so against love in the beginning made it more fun

And then the ex appeared and pissed me off

But we ended up together

The only reason he’s this low is because I stopped playing his route bc my own character was pissing me off

Like she’s such a bitch

Like omg he’s romantic now I hate it

Are you a dumb ass hoe or what?

8)Brook

I liked the poly aspect and he was VERY cute

And I’m pretty sure he was a nurse or doctor or the person in an ambulance and I find that super attractive

Like YES save lives papi!!!!!!!!!

And for the most part I liked the story

I could see myself having a crush on him irl

Sweet sweet man

I don’t remember much else since I finished it MONTHS ago

9)Felix

To start off Felix and Brook are pretty much equal

Like it’s a poly relationship and I like them pretty much the same

They’re both sweet men and they’re both attractive

Even though I hated that they all abandoned me

I do think it’s attractive that they all took time to better themselves and their relationship

Like it takes a lot to realize when to step back because the situation you’re in isn’t a good one or might lead to you resenting someone

They were cool

And he was a model so obviously he was hot

Love them

10)Vile Darko

Actually insane?

I like him a lot simply because he seems psychotic

Like WHO makes someone go through insane things for money or whatever

Like actually a clown and it’s attractive

Even though I’m scared of clowns

He makes it hot AND scary

Like I’m genuinely fearing for my life (in game) but I’m also like yeah if he kills me it’s fine bc he has to touch me to do that :)

11)Enzo Gomez

I was SHOOK when I realized he wasn’t just a dog man

Like he’s an actual human that was cursed

He’s a werewolf but Doberman style

His human form is attractive

And don’t kill me but the dog form is somehow attractive(maybe it’s the teeth? Idk)

And his story is kinda sad

Well sad in that he is cursed

I’m pretty sure he was a horrible person and that’s why he was cursed

And I’m glad he has become a better person because of it

12)Lan Ying

He was up at the top before I finished his story a while ago

And now he’s back but I’m not as crazy about him because I’m crazy about tamura so I haven’t played his update yet

But I do LOVE him

Like actually a dom that isn’t an asshole

And I do like shibari and he’s nice

I hate that he ties other people up though

Like mine and only mine?

Seems like a very level headed guy and that’s very attractive

Probably one of the least toxic in this list ngl

13)Eichi Hirano

I’ve never really been crazy about him

Like even though I’m a hyper sexual person his is ONLY sex and sometimes him having trouble with his hotels or whatever

So I wasn’t really interested in him

In still not all that interested :/

He’s cute though

And obviously the sex is good for my character so I guess

I do think he’s kinda nice though, so I do like him

14)Rei

I think he is the SWEETEST guy in an unfortunate position

Because his sister is manipulating him into being basically a scammer and he doesn’t wanna do it

But she gets pissy with him if he refuses

And while I know he could take himself out of that situation

It’s hard with siblings that you wanna keep in your life or whatever

Especially because they’re twins

My only problem with him is that he doesn’t have much of a spine

Like I would like him to stand up to her

But like he’s sweet and I hope the rest of the storyline is good. I kinda stopped playing it

It’s like only two dates that they have?

I don’t feel like wasting diamonds on them right now lmao

15)Dare

I think he’s hot

But in reality I would hate him

I hate playing truth or dare bc it makes me anxious and I can never think of anything

also he knows exactly how he’s making those people suffer and acts like he doesn’t

Actually manipulative

And everything is a game to him UGH

It just annoys me

The sex was cool though

And he is kinda interesting

But like the whole four horsemen thing is an ewie to me

16)Ezra Michelle

I do actually really like Ezra

But I hate the fact that I can’t romance him

I wanna romance the pastor man

I wanna give him smooches but NAUR he’s dedicated his life to the lord

Also he’s cool for a pastor

Obviously they weren’t gonna put a total asshole extreme Christian person in the game

But I do think the way he’s written is very Joseph dream daddy coded but cooler and less shitty

Like Joseph was a shitty man

But Ezra is really cool so far

He’s only this low bc I stopped playing bc I was sad I couldn’t marry him and went after people I could romance instead

17)Drink

He wasn’t really there in the storyline

Like dare was the main character I guess out of the four

Drink and dance barely showed up

But I liked him

And I think his super power of making drinks is cool

Because I hate alcohol and how it tasted I think he would be really dangerous for me if he can make a drink that doesn’t taste like ass

And was kinda nice when we finally got to talk to him

But otherwise he wasn’t really there oof

18)Social

He was more there than drink and dance but he annoyed me

Literal definition of influencer

I was ANNOYED the entire time I had to talk to him

Like can you GET OFF YOUR PHONE

I DONT CARE ABOUT YOUR FOLLOWERS

GET YOUR CAMERA OUT OF MY FACE BITCH BOY

Like his only personality trait is social media

And yeah granted his name is social

But the others were much more interesting than him

His only good trait is that he’s hot and could probably make me famous if I wanted him to

19)Joon Hwang

I don’t remember him oof

I think I liked him a little bittle but I don’t remember anything about who he is or his storyline so eh

20)Seong On

Like Joon I have no idea who this guy is even though I know I did play through some of his storyline

I have nothing to say about him yikes

Now onto the women since I did match with them!!(my storyline beliefs might be wrong because I speed through them for gems)

1)Naya Honoka

HER STORYLINE IS INSANE?

Like actually I was like OOOH a cute nurse when we first started talking

Then as time went on I was like oof she has no time to herself but she’s so nice and cute

And it was just the right amount of spicy that I was like yeah this is KINDA realistic

LIKE SHE SAVES LIVES WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT FROM HER (other than time)

Then it went into a whole hostage witness protection thing

And I was like HUH

My character in this pissed me off

Bc why when she says HEY don’t say my name call me Hannah instead

My character says Naya 400999 times like MAAM

STOP OUTING HER!!!!!!!!!

Anyways she’s so sweet and deserves love and I want her to be happy and get more breaks from working

Only thing I currently don’t like is how she literally is spending our honeymoon being a nurse

But also irl I would be okay with that bc that means I can be alone for some of the day so oof

2)Eiko Suzuki

I like her more now than I did in the beginning

In the beginning she was kinda annoying

But now I’m like OKAY she deserves the WORLD

Like not because she’s a kitsune but like she is SO PRETTY

And I do like that she’s a family girl

I do think it’s weird that she was like “I don’t want anything serious”

But wanted us to help her with everything

Like I think at this point we’re something more but they haven’t made it official

Which bothers me bc I need to know I’m the only one

And her storyline is also insane

Like WTF your ex boyfriend ruined your life and is BACK to ruin it even more

AND your family can turn into cute ass foxes and you didnt use that to your advantage and KILL HIM?

Literally just maul him as a fox and be like

OH NAUR my bf got mauled by a wild animal I wonder how this could’ve happened?!!!!!!!!!

I do think she’s cool though even though we have to help her with everything and she doesn’t think things through sometimes

I also think it’s funny that since I’m not spending diamonds on her choices that my character is a complete asshole

Like she left her to die LMAO

3)Lexi Rose

I LOVE THAT SHE COSPLAYS

like actually her being an otaku is so cute

And I’m pretty sure she got a tv show opportunity at some point I don’t remember

Like I’m proud of her

Sad that she feels like her true self isn’t very cool

Bc I really like her

She seems sweet and cool and her interests are ones that I like

Like I might not be the biggest anime fan

But I would watch several with her as dates

Like we do not have to leave the house lets snack and you can tell me all the attack on titan lore.

4)River Morales

PRETTY WOMAN

would’ve been number one had I played her recently

But I haven’t played her for WEEKS

so she went down as I lowkey forgot about her

Honestly she was cool and I love that she’s an artist

And I do like the poly dynamic

And the fact that she was REALLY honest about her feelings towards the end

Hate that they kinda abandoned me

But I do like her a lot

Super sweet girl

I think she was sorta insecure in her storyline and I hate that for her

5)Reko Lamarr

Dommy mommy dommy mommy

She’s kinda a bitch

And as a dom I feel like she’s pretty……

Needy?

Like I feel like she should just be a bratty sub or something

Maybe it’s bc I prefer service doms?

But she’s like serve ME worship ME

instead of being a cute dom?

Like MAAM tell me what to do but love on me too

She’s cool tho

Like LOVE a business woman

Get that money queen

She’s VERY stressed

And actually kinda hot when she spanks us

Just wish she was more service-y instead of demand-y

I want to be babied pls

6)Alice Young

She’s okay I guess

I’m not really into sports

And I just started her storyline

And I kinda find the sports thing annoying

Maybe it’s bc I’m not…enthusiastic? Driven about sports that I’m like????

Just FIRE HIM??????

He’s a coach not your dad

Hire someone that cares about your mental health as well as you winning

Like girl just say that you wanna just be friends until you’re done with your tournament or whatever

Like why even join Mechat if you have a whole sports thing you wanna win

Like focus on that THEN join dating apps?

Other than that she’s pretty and cool

And I think her being athletic is attractive

7)Dance

She’s not that bad at all

But we hardly have content of her?

Like we barely see her during the storyline

So she’s okay I guess

Likes to dance and so do I

The only downside is that she’s part of the four horsemen

The upside is that I found the dancing plague in France to be funny and as soon as I saw this party was like that I cackled

But also not really funny in theory

Also kinda dislike her bc she thought the people were having fun when she knew they weren’t

I think she would be fun to be around in small doses.

8)Eura Alabaster

WOULDVE BEEN DEAD ASS LAST IF IT WASNT FOR RAITAS BITCH ASS

I actually HATE her

Like overconfident people don’t really bother me

It’s just SOMETHING about her that pisses me off

Like the way she is makes me want to beat her to death with my fists

Like she’s annoying and overconfident and stupid

AND she kidnapped me

Granted I’m not against someone kidnapping me(in the fictional world)

SHE JUST HAD TO PUT ME ON A BOAT

I HATE boats

I hate the ocean

I think that’s why I hate her so much

The fact that it’s the ocean we’re dealing with

And she’s triggering my irrational fear of the Bermuda Triangle

So it’s stressing me out

I just hate her

9)Raita

I haven’t finished their storyline so if she turns out fine later sorry

But right now

AT THIS MOMENT

I hate her and how she treats Rei

Like she’s an actual bitch and I hate that my character hasn’t said so

Like actually I would’ve been like ??????are you dumb or stupid why are you such a bitch ass hoe????

She’s so mean and for WHAT

He has done nothing wrong but she acts like he has

Like he doesn’t want to scam people but this scamming ass bitch is forcing him to

And I know someone is gonna be like “he can make his own choices”

Sometimes when it involves family and staying on their good side you don’t really have a choice if you want them in your life good or not

Like I HATE HER

[pinazee]

Rob-a-bye Baby

Finally some focus on Chief Vick! Kirsten nelson did a great job on the first real ep where she gets to play a more substantial role. (“Head detective my ass” always makes me chuckle) i only wish it had been more. She was more of an obstacle than part of the plot, though i guess technically her character kind of grew at the end. She does admit she was overreacting with Shawn but this realization was done off screen. I’d have loved to see her try to run over her husband, and having a little breakdown. Something that gave her more depth. I want to know who she is as a person. Was she a runner who wanted to get back into it so she can finally have some time for herself? Does she struggle with who she wants to be as a mother? Was the baby even planned? Was she concerned it would affect her job, or her ability to do her job? Idk, just something that added a bit more color to her character tapestry. I think theres a lot to explore here is all.

Perhaps im biased, but i feel like Shawns reaction is a bit out of character. Like yeah, he’d find it a boring assignment but i also think he’d understand how important it is to the Chief and take it seriously. Plus, Gus is right, she gives them cases, it’s pretty important for their business that they remain on her good side. And in the end he didn’t help her at all. The nephew just came back and that was the resolution. i think i would’ve preferred if Shawn had been struggling to find them too. Like every nanny he came across he could find something wrong with them because Chief Vick deserves the best. Or he had a nanny picked out all along, she just couldn’t start right away but he somehow needed the excuse to look into the nanny burglary ring? Idk. I guess its not really that big a deal. Perhaps it was to introduce a flaw in Shawns character. Like they were saying he needs the thrills to make the job worthwhile. Which is fine, i think that aligns with his overall character. In fact, i wouldn’t be surprised if he fucked somethings up later just to bump up the challenge for shits and giggles (which is such a weird phrase btw). I just think in this one specific case, he would have handled it with a bit more care.

Gus’s blimp dance! He’s so excited! After the last ep, i just want him to be happy

I just wanted to point out the lady who plays ada was in a movie called Wolfcop. Theres an actual movie called Wolfcop.

Chief Vick’s power pose is so strong, it possesses her when she sleeps haha

Did she just spit her pastry out on the ground??

This always makes me chuckle because, like, why? Why would they have them go down those hill lol

I think this is another case of Juliet getting way too into undercover work. I don’t think thats any of her actual wedding or birth plans even if the show made it look like such.

Im so confused why they were at a pet store instead of a pawn shop. What did that guy sell to him? How did the pet shop guy know it was stolen? Unrelated, but it was a nice touch that Shawn immediately spoke in a way the pet shop guy understood, even if it was just for the haha’s.

Gus’s nickname Schmuel Cohen is a real dude! Why does Shawn have the name of the composer of the Israeli national anthem locked and loaded?? The guy died in 1940. When/ how would he know that???

Awww poor Tim!

Juliet agreeing pivots and divots is fun to say lol

I wish they could have expanded on Nanny Henry! Like he was going to refuse to keep helping out but Chief Vick broke out her mommy voice and also kind of pleaded with him for help. Then we could have gotten some scenes of them, maybe talking about the past, or Henry asking her to look out for Shawn since he doesn’t have the police as part of his squad and therefore no backup, which Chief Vick explains that he’s practically a member anyways and would be treated as such, not only because of who his dad is but because he’s practically one of her own anyways, so of course she has his back.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not telling someone I wasn't their bully 100% of the time

Hey so I was a shitty kid and i willbe TA for most of the story. However the ambiguous non-ending spins around my head nonstop

! In high-school I met a friend, Lacy (mtf) who had recently come out. We bonded over mutual Fandoms and shared classes and ended up pooling friends. I was already tight friends with one other girl we can call Sam. Sam went to another school but me and her had been best friends for many years and talked constantly online. After spending a lot of time with Lacy, and with L and S in a group, I started to get a little crush. Me and Lacy had this habit of passing comic notes to eachother between classes and they were just so fun. Anyways I ended up passing them one asking them out and she agreed. We talked about it casually after and I kept the note. In the background, me and Sam talk constantly about Lacy. Outside of school, online, Lacy often goes on long rants and tangents and caps it off being painfully self depreciating and insinuating self harm. I honestly don't hold that against her too much, given how young we were and how much stuff was going on. Very quickly I realize this tiny crush evaporates in the heat of her stomping rants. My gut sinks when Lacy mentions we are dating. It's been less than a day. Sam messages me immediately and I make the terrible snap decision to lie. I lie about it and I have the evidence so my version becomes correct. I tell Sam I didn't *really* ask Lacy out, blah blah. The lie doesn't end. Lacy has an explosive breakdown about it, well warranted, and I lie to adults and school administrators as well. We were friends, I guess she got too attached, we talk all the time but no. I never asked her to date. Papers signed, case closed. Lacy blocks me everywhere. The year ends. I resign to never speaking to her, as the unquestioned bully in this situation I wouldn't have the right to approach her about it. I think I send one anon ask completely unrelated to her or our lives, then block her back as is only fair.

Short hop forwards a month or two. Sam sends me a message about an update to Lacys blog. Lacy is otherkin and Sam is laughing at the kin list, sending anon messages mocking Lacy about the choices and identity. Very unfamiliar with otherkin but struggling with gender thoughts myself I don't respond much.

Fast forward a few years. Me and Sam don't talk much now. I got a boyfriend and couldn't help love how much he ignored me. Everything else fell through cracks. Working at my restaurant job one day, who else comes in but Lacy. We are very busy, I try to be quick, don't make eye contact. "Party of....for Lacy?" She nods. The lobby is full so they walk out the door and never come back. Later when my shift is over I unblock and check her blog. She's made a post saying I was her abuser and had sent her constant anon hate since bullying her in hs. Checking her ask tag I see Sam on anon sends 3-6 hate messages a year. I do nothing and leave everyone be and move on.

Another 3 years goes by. Sam reaches out. She's terminally ill, and we speak stiffly for a few IMs. I don't forgive myself for leaving her and decide it's best we don't keep talking. Another few years and Sam passes. Our old friends go through Sam's papers and pc files reminiscing and find pages and pages of shared chat logs between me L and S. It really was a harsh reminder of how cruel I had been, speaking behind Lacys back and lying. I don't doubt I caused her lasting trauma with my actions.

Part of me wanted to reach out to Lacy and apologize, explaining myself and the misunderstanding and clearing the lie not because I wanted to feel absolved I just that it's finally done now. But it feels so cruel to do it when 1. As the original bully it's still not my place to seek closure 2. I can't just toss my friends corpse under this bus for no reason.

It's soon a decade since we all left school so the time seems well past. I just can't stop thinking about all the mistakes. And there seems no reason to bring it all up after all Sam can't say anything about it anymore and nobody is hurt believing i said these things. So, AITA for not telling Lacy it wasn't me bullying her most of the time?

What are these acronyms?

[icarusredwings]

Explaining this because I don't think people are getting it. Ft. One of my favorite mutals. @the--quotifyer--innit

The Master's issue isn't that the Doctor is poly. His issue is that he can not feel second best.

Tw: Mention of toxic jealous behavior, social/ romantic hiarcys, a lot of dog metaphors because its easier for me to explain, someone who's really autistic yapping about fictional old man yaoi, lots of misspelling, Apologies if I seem upset/rude, Im very passionate about the phycology behind social/romantic hiarchys and similar behaviours.

I was asked; Hey what would you think Sax would do if he met tentoo and rose?? With or without 14.

Me: Without 14? Like pre saxteen or just him not there? I think either way he'd beat the fuck out of tentoo. (Because he'd think he's cheating on him at first) He'd try to best up rose too depending on if we were talking s10 sax, pre saxteen, or established saxteen. Hed probably fail, but he'd try.

Yeah, sharing is definitely not his thing

No, definitely not (with Rose). Also, he'd probably lecture her, and then she'd be like "dude LOOK WHOS TALKING" and he'd be like, "WELL- ....☝️ 🤨.... actually... erm (you got a point)." Especially if we're talking Torchwood Rose? It would also piss him off how many traits she has picked up from the doctor. He'd become so emotionally jealous about it. (That Rose has the Doctor's traits)

Because he's not stupid. He's extremely smart. If this is pre/ established, the Doctor talks about her all the time. Even now. Little things. "Oh, there's this little shop down the road that Rose worked at. They have some sales sometimes. " He would SEE how much he actually loved her and feel extremely defeated, which would probably turn to rage and try to kill her. Then have a mental breakdown and sob by himself.

Probs blackmail her Bout how long he's know the doctor compared to a pathetic human girl. Rose would not be impressed.

You can't really use that as black mail but brag? Yes. (He'd definitely brag about knowing him much longer)

I could write a whole thing about this (and I did), but bassically, the fact that she's just a human girl is PART of the reason he'd get so upset. He's a fucking TIME LORD with MORE credibility then the doctor and one of the top loves of his eternity he's ever had is some 20 year old blonde girl????

Because with the master (and all of Gallifrey in general) Reputation and status means a lot. So the fact that the doctor chose her (someone who has zero of both) over him (someone who has a lot of both) it would mean that he likes her PURELY for love and this? That crushes him entirely.

Donna: The doctor is currently locked in the shed writing ' I love you, I promise' notes on the window.

If this ever happened, they'd probably get a divorce on the spot because the doctor CAN'T deny that he loves her still. And will. Forever. Saxon would kill him again and not even want to regenerate. He is a "You said til death do us part, and I said until all of time collapsees. We are not the same" kind of guy. He'd kill them both and be sure they fall in the same grave. It's very poetic. (In a way)

See he's okay with River because her physical body is dead as fuck. She can never leave that computer. So this automically puts sax on top of the metaphotic food chain in his head.

Because the doctor comes to him and asks if he can visit his wife and then comes back home to him. That's what matters. Meanwhile, the doctor would go to a different universe to go home to Rose. (If given the chance) And he knows it.

It's like having a dog tolerate/dominant dog. I'll use Minpins because I own one. Minpins have a pack status, and the top one has to be seen as the top by the owner, mainly rather than the other dogs. So if the doctor has multiple lovers (like always), sax has to feel he's on top and receives the most attention. If the doctor starts ignoring or punishing him for "defending" his spot as the top, he'll actually get MORE aggressive towards the others.

He has to be the one at the top of the list, the most special to the doctor, just for his own weird lil reasons

No, it's not really his own weird little reason. It's social psychology.

The thing is, he doesn't *actually* have to be the most special to the doctor, but he NEEDS to think he is. For me personally, and what I know, I like to think that Rose and The master are actually pretty equal, he just says stuff about her *because* he can't do stuff with her anymore which is just the process of longing.

I know I keep coming back to the dog metaphors, but im autistic like that, so give me a chance.

It's like for me, i had a dog named bailey. I love bailey even now, and often I compare my current dog fern to bailey. Its part of the healing process because im comparing them less and less. Especially with the fact that they're VERY different breeds. Bailey was a live stock guardian, an anatolian shepherd, to be exact. 90 pounds. Hairy. Fern is an 8 pound chihuahua miniature pinscher mix. Short hair.

Both are protective of the kids, both bark at men, both are silly and cuddly, and I love them both a lot. But its unfair to compare them because they are so different.

Though there's nothing wrong with liking the similars.

It's unfair for the master and rose to be compared. That's how the doctor thinks about it. The master is his top time lord on his list. Rose is his top human.

In my head anyway.

I'll probably add to this later, but for now, feel free to add on yourself

[blixabargelds]

I hope this doesn’t come off trauma dumpy in anyway but I wanted to say as someone who did not break the cycle of addiction (oops) and has loved and lost several people with addiction, I really appreciate your posts. (And it’s part of why I love superstar so much) I’ve spent so much time trying to defend people with addiction, namely those in my own life, and it’s so like soul draining. I worked in a hospital and unfortunately a lot of the nurses were very unkind towards our OD patients and I had a breakdown once yelling at them about how some of the best people I know were addicts and how one of my friends who was a great guy even in active addiction had just passed in our hospital one unit over.

The post I see that always bothers me is something about “the person giving you drugs doesn’t love you” and I try to explain that my best friend got me started because she did love me but the only thing she knew was drugs. But she did want to help and did love me. No one was there for me while I needed help but her and she’s the only one who tried. It was all she knew.

Anyways sorry for this I just wanted to say I appreciate what you said today and other times. It really means a lot to me whenever I see posts like that and people advocating for those struggling with addiction.

ahhh sending you so much love anon i hope you’re okay no matter the circumstances ❤️ it is exhausting, addicts are some of the most misunderstood people there are and i think even if a loved one has gone through it, if you yourself haven’t been through it then it is impossible to understand fully, and often the most well intentioned views on addiction are still misinformed and hurtful. it’s a kinship that’s so hard to explain to someone who hasn’t ever been an addict. when i say i love addicts so much and that they’re some of my favourite people, as in type of person, a lot of people who haven’t experienced it will take that at glamorising, enabling, strange etc. and it is okay if someone doesn’t understand that because it’s incredibly complicated. but people are so fast to judge addicts just on being one in real life, let alone in fiction, in their little internet bubble where they probably never have to be faced with what addiction really is.

re: superstar im so glad you fw it, and i’m so glad you mentioned that generic post because that’s something that me and elo talk about a lot and are apprehensive of the reception of, because i think most people have that view on drugs, that someone who loves you won’t put them in front of you. but john does get gale hooked. and in a lot of ways it’s the worst thing he ever does, but he does it out of love. it’s the love he’s always known the most. it’s uncomfortable and complicated and it’s bad, but that’s how it happens an awful lot of the time and that is how it happens in superstar and i think some people won’t like that but that’s real sometimes.

i’m never aiming to write addiction or drug use as something sensational. i’m also not going to be doing it perfectly. but i think if you aren’t writing from experience then writing from empathy and true, researched understanding is the most important thing. and it is a very difficult thing to write. and read honestly. so if you can’t do it from empathy and understanding then just don’t do it at all you know. there’s enough judgment out in the real world that’s inescapable, don’t put it into fiction or fandom if it can be entirely avoided there

[qpenpals]

First of all, support Shubble and support all victims (which is a statement that while said a lot, seems not be followed as frequently, however i hope those who read this abide by it)

Second, I don’t support wilbur soot/william gold, and I don’t think that anyone should after this.

Third, while this situation is not about me, i have feelings and opinions about it that i would like to share, but even if you don’t read anymore,

Please watch shelby’s vod, and maybe try checking her content out, because while i don’t frequently watch her, i enjoy her streams and maybe you will too! her new hardcore series sounds great :)

This is quite long, but honestly this is kind of just for me to collect my thoughts, however if you read to the end thank you<3 im touched :)

ALSO ABUSE TRIGGER WARNING

Alright, so I have loved wilbur soot’s content for a very long time, 4 years or so. I watched the streams and listened to his music from the start. His content is entwined with many of my fond memories.

Earlier today, I had a breakdown over this whole situation, because, as I’ve been quite busy with school, my job, and other assorted things in my life, I found out about this morning. I had woken from a nightmare about my previous abuser. Who i will be talking about a lot more of as they really impacted my views on this situation.

However this nightmare had left me in a fragile mood, my girlfriend was still sleeping and i didn’t want to wake her, so to comfort myself i went to read one of my bookmarked fanfictions, this fanfiction, while i dont remember the title is one that i’ve found comforting for a very long time, so much so that when im stressed my partner has it saved to send to me so i can calm down.

It was a fanfiction about quackity and tubbo, wilbur soot was mentioned maybe 5 times, and the author had deleted it.

This caused me to try and find out why, so i went to their page and they had posted a temporary fic explaining what had been going on.

My first reaction had been disbelief, I then went to research everything. It was a lot to process.

I watched shelby’s vod. Before this i had mainly been disconnected from what i had seen, taking it it but not with any of my own feelings or thoughts really, just processing.

Shelby’s situation hits really hard for me because a lot of it mirrors my own abusive relationship of a few years ago. The wording Wilbur used against her, sounds like what my old partner would use against me. His actions, such as her having to clean and taking care of food, and amenities, were things i had to experience.

Abuse TW:

My old partner would physically abuse me through biting as well, he would claim that he just liked knowing i was his, and yet, like shubble, if i ever used our safe word, which happened so fucking often, he either wouldn’t listen, bite down harder on my neck, or fucking smile at me before letting go.

This got to the point that multiple times he had drawn blood from my neck, that i still have scars from today. And as i watch Shubble talk about her story which is ever so close to mine, I wonder that if I had watched this before, maybe i wouldn’t have stayed in that relationship.

I proceeded to stay in this relationship for 2 years before i realized how much harm he was doing to me, because i truly believed he loved me, because of all the lovebombing he would do.

End of Abuse TW:

And yet i felt pain aside from sympathy or memories, when learning of this, as the content Wilbur had put out had actually helped me out of this relationship, his music was pretty much all i listened to the months of healing after i got out and it helped, the art is good, and yet the author is one i cannot respect nor support in anyway now that i am aware.

i’d suggest watching this tiktok by @lasmanburg that really explains my thoughts and feelings on this

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTL1tb5Wg/

Right back to the content. I don’t believe that we should throw it all away, i don’t think that people should be deleting their art, fanfiction, or anything based on Wilbur. Because in the end it’s all art that we have created and interpreted and though the man who inspired it is horrible, all that has been made does not reflect his actions, but instead love and creativity from vast multifaceted community.

One can continue their writing and work because they are the ones creating it, not him, and besides most interpretations of him stray quite far from the source anyways

I think that one can continue to engage in his content as long as one does not directly support him, such as pirating his music, but personally at least right now listening to his music which brought me so much comfort-makes me feel sick. So think i’ll be taking a step back.

I don’t really know how to end this, i just needed to get my thoughts out honestly. I have therapy in an hour. I hope all of you who’ve made it to the end have a wonderful day and drink some water. I wish shelby well, and i’m glad she has been able to share this situation. And with that, I must now leave :)

[hexxedundead]

Spoiler warning for anyone who hasn’t seen it — This is my person thoughts on the movie and my own Movie Review.

Feel free to comment and give your thoughts too.

Trigger Warning: SA/R, Violence, Blood, Drug Use

Movie Review-ish (more so my thoughts and opinion) :

I just wanna say, this move truly was great.

I’m not sure why but watching the trailer I felt like it wasn’t gonna be great. I had low hopes for it for some reason but obviously my thoughts have changed.

At first, when watching the trailer, I thought that casting choice for the men were so strange. I felt it was weird Channing Tatum was playing such a creepy dude. But while watching the movie… I get it. It was on purpose. They guys were suppose to be a weird choice and now I really liked that they casted them. Men that people were fond of. My personally, I love Channing Tatum. I have watched his movies for a long time. I watched Haley Joel Osment movies when he was a child. Simon Rex from scary movie 3, my favorite out of the franchise. Men who I loved watching. Men who felt “safe”.

Just like the main character, Frida (Naomi Ackie), who was fond of Slater King (Channing Tatum). She was essentially a fan of his who she felt an attachment for. She felt safe enough around to accept his invitation to go to his private island.

It was sad and scary… as much as the movie didn’t really seem like it throughout, once it got to the relieving of what’s actually been going on… it was very sad and scary to know that people seem one way and are totally not how it actually is. I think it truly had a great message.

I also loved the change in Sarah (Adria Arjona) who was very much about herself and trying to get the man and against other women; then coming to the understanding that women can be there for other women and sometimes that’s all you have to help you are the other women. That you need to stand will women to help them.

Another thing I liked that they added were the other characters that weren’t exactly part of the abuse, but sat back and watched. Slater King’s assistant Stacy purposefully chose to forget. Stacy representing women who stand by and let men do bad things to other women. The same thing with the character Lucas. He didn’t do anything to the women but he also didn’t do anything to help the women.

I think this movie was a wonderful representation of abused and power some men have over women. I love the symbolism within the movie and each character. It truly was a great movie.

Questions I still have:

I do wonder what the red symbolized or if it was just a creative touch throughout the movie. There was a lot of white and placements of red in just about every single shot.

What did the raspberry’s symbolize? They were constantly being shown and I felt they were a part of a bigger picture that maybe I just didn’t get.

Maybe I’m just reading into things more than I should 😂

I also am confused how Frida was there on the island before, I believe a year prior. Similar things happened and she obviously got out and didn’t remember the whole trip. Obviously the time she was on the island was lost and when she was back at home… where does she think that time went? I wish they would have explained that. She was there once before, she was brought back… but where does she, or anyone else in her life, think she was? Especially her job.

Im big on movie breakdowns and “let me explain” type videos after watching a movie. Finding things I might of missed or seeing it from another perspective. Here are a few that I enjoyed.

[sagemoderocklee]

pleas my beloved, tell me more about cats guide and secret liaisons im blowing u so many kissies about it also hi it’s kel

genuinely was like "is that kel?" when i saw the start of this ask cause who else would be callin me 'my beloved' XD

ANYWAYS! i am sooooo excited for both these fics and it's a travesty that SL is still so far out... i NEED to work on Honor Bound T___T but god the editing on Alliance... and just the years and years its been since Alliance and how much my view of like EVERYTHING has changed...

okay so let's start with A Cat's Guide, which is a gift fic for @ghoste-catte (surprise!) that has been sitting for like 2 years now and was prompted by a video of a cat living in an apartment that i saw. this cat was like obsessed with the neighbor and always wanted to visit him, and i thought it would make a cute story from cat!Shukaku's pov as he tries to set up Gaara with his cute, nice neighbor who always gives Shukaku fresh salmon whenever Shukaku slips out of his own apartment to go visit Lee. it's 9 chapters cause you know cats have 9 lives (and i have years worth of gift fics for greyson to make up for) and the chapter titles are structured like a self-help sort of book and im genuinely so excited to work on this fic i just suck at getting anything started. but here's the opening:

---

Step One: Selecting an Ideal Match

Shukaku had been around for at least as long as Gaara had been alive, but for a cat pushing twenty-one he was a surprisingly healthy beast, except for the arthritis that had set in some six or seven years ago. Not that this deterred him in the least.

Quite the contrary, Shukaku spent much of his time climbing things he shouldn't and jumping from places far too high.

Yet however much trouble he managed to get into, Shukaku was a cat of breeding, and he took himself quite seriously. He did not, for instance, protest at the groomers because he liked to be clean; he did not, as a matter of pride, shove his face into his food dish and gobble it up; and he only slept on the nicest, softest cat beds money could buy. He ate expensive food, slept on expensive things, and shat in premium cat litter.

All in all, Shukaku was spoiled, and he liked it that way.

He was also picky, persnickety, and prone to biting for no discernible reason—at least, not as far as his human could tell. If Shukaku had been able to explain himself, he'd have told Gaara he was quite the sensitive soul and sometimes his mood simply got the better of him.

Gaara's brother might not be so sympathetic, having been on the receiving end of one of Shukaku's many fits of fury, but Gaara was understanding despite the language barrier.

(And that's all I have besides chapter breakdowns and chapter titles)

---

and now to Secret Liaisons, which is the third installment to the Allied Nations Saga and at one point was the FINAL part of it back when it was a trilogy, but I knew that there needed to be a fourth fic to that series because there were too many questions left unanswered at the end of SL.

So without spoiling anything for HB, SL continues to follow the ensemble cast with Gaara and Lee being like the main protagonists. This is yet another political drama and it starts off with a blow to Gaara and Lee.

SL is also where GaaLee actually comes into play, but I'm trying not to spoil too much so we'll leave it vague enough. However, I do have lots of snippets for this fic and can share the prologue because I'm just that generous. (Please keep in mind, I wrote this prologue like... 14 years ago and my writing has since evolved):

---

“We await your decision, Kazekage-sama.” The council rose as one, filing out of the room, leaving Gaara to sit with his thoughts, his siblings sharing significant looks over his head.

“Gaara,” Temari began, reaching for her brother.

Gaara rose quickly, stepping out of her reach. “I have things to take care of.”

Temari and Kankurou watched Gaara leave, helpless to do anything else.

***

“You wanted to see me, Kazekage-sama,” Lee said, bowing before Gaara’s desk.

Gaara turned from Lee, rising to his feet and moving to the window overlooking his village. This was his home, it was everything he had fought to protect in the war, it was the most important bond he had. He was the Kazekage of Suna, first and foremost, but that knowledge did little to sooth him.

“Do you miss Konoha?” he asked, not daring to glance at Lee.

“Of course,” Lee said, certain as always. “It is my home and my friends are there, my sensei. But I am happy here.”

Gaara didn’t reply, watching as a child ran past on the street, chasing a ball. It was his job to protect that child, to protect that child’s mother and father. The choice should not have been so difficult to make. He loved his village powerfully, he loved his people and his siblings just as much. They were a part of Suna.

Lee was not.

“I… have no more need of you,” Gaara whispered to the wind, not daring to turn around, almost hoping Lee hadn’t heard.

Silence stretched between them for a minute before Lee found his voice, cracked and uncertain. “I—beg your pardon, Kazekage-sama?”

Gaara closed his eyes, fisting the fabric of his Kage robe above his heart. “I am sending you back to Konoha.”

“Wha—but—why?! Have I done something to upset you? Whatever it is, I will make up for it! I will not do it again! I promise!”

Gaara shook his head. “You are a liability. You cannot stay here.”

“I do not understand,” Lee said, his words shaky and broken.

“It is not complicated: You will return to Konoha. I am releasing you from my service.”

“I—but I swore to stay by your side. I swore to always—you accepted me! Why would you do this?”

“Because I have no other choice.”

Lee was silent save for the heavy breathing that seemed to fill Gaara’s ears, making them ring. He had prepared for Lee to fight him on this, he had known Lee would want answers, but he had not been ready for the obstacle his own feelings created.

“Do you not trust me anymore?”

Gaara turned enough to glance at Lee over his shoulder. Lee’s expression was crumpled, his eyes wet and his lip trembling. In that moment, Gaara understood the power he had over Lee: the power to break him by words alone. He had never known that power and he never wanted to again.

“Kazekage-sama?” Lee asked desperately when the silence went on for too long.

Gaara’s vision swam for a second and he turned away. “With my life. That is the problem.”

“But why? What have I done? Why would you send me back?”

“Because the council does not trust you and my trust in you gives them reason to doubt me.”

Lee faltered, the words he’d been about to speak dying on a choked back sound, as though he were trying to keep from crying. Gaara could not stand to look at him anymore. “This is… temporary, right? Until they see, until you convince them—”

“No, Lee,” Gaara said, his knuckles white against the windowsill. “You will return to Konoha permanently. We are done.”

“N-no, I cannot accept that!” Lee cried suddenly. “Y-you cannot just send me back—I—you are everything to me. I have given my life to protect you—”

“Then honour your promise and leave,” Gaara said harshly, turning to stare at Lee. “If you wish to protect my life, then protect my title as Kazekage and leave Suna.”

Lee reeled, lowering his head. “I did not mean to speak so forcefully, Kazekage—”

“I am not your Kazekage. You are no longer bound to me.”

Lee closed his eyes tight, his hands in fists at his side that shook with the effort Lee exerted to hold his tongue. He took in a shaky breath, his eyes on Gaara’s feet. “I will a-always be bound to you, Kazekage-sama. Even if I leave…”

“You are a fool to think that,” Gaara said. “When you return to Konoha, in time you will forget your loyalties to me.”

“Forgive me, but you are wrong,” Lee said passionately, looking up at Gaara, his eyes hard and wet. “I will never forget this bond.”

Gaara stared, wide-eyed at Lee. “Why are you so determined to stay with me?”

Lee looked away, hiding his gaze. “Because you are important to me. Why should I waver in my affections for you? Why should I deny my loyalties when they mean so much?”

Gaara had no answer, but Lee’s words would not change their situation, no matter how much they both wanted them to.

“You will go back to Konoha. This matter is no longer up for debate.”

Lee closed his eyes, his face still turned away. “…as you wish, Kazekage-sama.”

“Don’t—”

Lee bowed and turned, leaving before Gaara could say more, the door clicking gently closed behind Lee. Gaara let out a shaky breath, sitting back down at his desk and pulling his official statement to the council towards him.

Rock Lee will return to Konoha…

The words blurred for a moment and Gaara blinked several times before his vision cleared, the report now stained with several drops that smudged the ink. Gaara set his brush down, staring at the report, only distantly aware of the wetness on his face and the ache in his chest.

---

I would definitely want to edit this before actually posting. I don't really like how choppy it is from that very first extremely brief scene which is just the like obvious tail end of a council meeting, and i think the actual pros are just… not great. i can def do better. but this is like the main obstacle of the fic and well I'm sure you can guess who these liaisons are between based on that lol

anyways <3 thanks beloved for the ask! hope you enjoyed these and they satisfied your curiosity

[thethreeeyed-raven]

hi could you do a ruby matthews from sex education x g!p g!p fútbol reader enemies to lovers trope?

Angst to fluff

If so here’s my request: y/n is a new transfer student and has a class with ruby and it was y/n who started their rival/hate for each other on accident. Then as time went on they began to get closer slowly, then at a party y/n drunkly confesses to ruby how much she likes her then ruby says she feels the same but then ruby is too afraid to go public, so y/n agrees to be a secret (you could add smut after if you want up to you!) As time goes on y/n starts to get annoyed because ruby in public starts to treat her crap and acts as if they’re still enemies. So y/n got fed up and confronted Ruby about it in front of the untouchables which Ruby tries to deny everything which leads to y/n saying they’re over and leaves. To which leads to y/n not going to school for a while which worries ruby, so then ruby goes to her house and finds out that y/n moved (for whatever family or financial reason) which causes her to breakdown and stuff. Then after weeks of trying to find y/n she does and then ruby explains why she did what she did then the fluff happens then the end

Im so sorry this request was long😭😭 I’ve just been thinking about it for a while now I just needed to get it off my chest LMAOO

over.

navigation | warnings : mentions of sex, slight homophobia?, ruby being a bitch, angst | a/n : hopefully you enjoy! (i did. change a few things) | tags : @lost-in-fiction-like-ur-mom , @fangsp1der-2099 , @knight-of-flowerss

You weren't sure when you made an enemy of Ruby Matthew's, or when you began to catch feelings for her.

Ruby Matthew's wasn't sure when she made an enemy of you, or when she began to catch feelings for you.

Ruby and You started a secret relationship a few months ago, emphasis on the secret.

It all started when you drunkenly confessed to her at a party, not expecting her to take you into a closet and give u the best fuck you've ever had.

Being in a relationship with Ruby came as a shock to you. At school in front of others, she was mean and spiteful, but when it was just you two...it was different.

Cuddling and kissing was quite frequent, whereas in front of her friends, you were both pretending to hate each other.

But you were getting tired of pretending.

You approached Ruby with confidence, deciding that today you would confront her.

"Ruby."

All three of them turned to look at you, Ruby looking slightly surprised and Olivia and Anwar clearly not trying to hide their disgust.

"What do you want?" Ruby replied brazenly.

"I want to talk." You said as you adjusted the strap of your backpack.

Olivia and Anwar looked at Ruby expectantly.

"About what?"

You rolled your eyes, why was she being so difficult? "You know what. And I'd personally like to do this in private."

"Whatever you have to say, you can say it here." She motioned to her two friends, then crossed her arms.

To say you were angry was an understatement.

"Fine." You stepped closer. "Me and Ruby have been in a relationship for exactly four months, since Otis Milburn's surprisingly alright party, when she took me into a closet and fucked me like she meant it. And I don't want it to be a secret anymore."

You reveled in the sight of Anwar and Olivia's appalled expressions, until your gaze fell on Ruby, who looked crushed. You felt slightly guilty but then you realised she deserved it.

"And now it's over between us."