#and then i did nubla

[thecanvasofmadness]

¿Te dolí? ¿Te causé malestar? Ah, no ha sido él… He sido yo, la que le arrebata de los labios el suspiro de amor, mientras nubla las mentes de aquellas a quienes él les ha robado el corazón.

Did I hurt you, did I cause you discomfort? Ah, it wasn't him... It was me, the one who snatches from his lips the sigh of love, while clouding the minds of those whose hearts he has stolen.

[thenachassist]

On midnights

It's always a joy whenever auntie Taylor Swift releases an album. It's fun to find which track will fit your life at the moment or which one will you dedicate to your new person before he becomes a memory you remember all too well. 🥴😂

So I have finished listening to all songs when I learned that she also released the 3 a.m. edition today. Damn, Auntie. You have so much time at hand. You know, I follow you primarily because of your wordplay. What an incredible lyricist you are. Saranghae, God bless you, and thank you for your life. 🥺

Anyway, here are my thoughts for the tracks included in this lovely masterpiece called midnights:

•Lavender Haze - Persona is high in love, pretty much intoxicated by the euphoria that love brings. Like, I don't care what they say, I'm in love with you. Feels like written for Joe Alwyn. Sana all.

• Maroon - Looks like the young woman from Red has fallen in love and sigh, has lost again. She's in her late 20s now, sipping wine, thinking of the recent break-up. Losing someone when in you're late 20s wasn't so red anymore, the shade had been darker like her make-up or her life in general; thus, maroon. Char.

•Anti-Hero - Self-loathing song. One you will listen to at midnight when the world is quiet and the voices inside your head are loud.

•Snow at the Beach - This track is me. Weird, but fuckin' beautiful. Hahahaha. I particularly like, /It's fine to fake it till you make it, till you do, till it's true/ Very inspirational sa aking candidacy for First Lady ng Pasig.

•Midnight Rain - For those you have never replied to Bumble, those whom you ghosted.

•You're On Your Own, Kid - Lyrics sounded like the ones from Speak Now.

• Question - I like how the questions were laid down. Parang I Bet You Think About Me ang arrangement. I especially liked, /Can I ask a question... Did you ever get back with your ex?/ Syempre wala yan sa lyrics kasi tanong ko talaga yan. Hahaha

•Vigilante Shit - THIS IS MY MOOD ANYTIME OF THE DAY. HAHAHAHA. /I don't dress for women. I don't dress for men. Lately, I've been dressin' for revenge./

•Bejeweled- Persona gets her shit together finally. Naalala niya na isa siyang gold at hindi recyclable. Hallelujah!!!

•Labyrinth - Liking how she's aware that she's falling into the trap of love again but so what? Happy now, Iyak later.

•Karma- Diss track for Scooter definitely. Hahaha. /Spiderboy, king of thieves. Weave your little webs of opacity. My pennies made your crown./

•Sweet Nothing - Yung alam mong sasaktan ka lang nya because everything is sweet nothing pero go lang. Hahaha. The music itself is like the title, sounding very sweet but when you look into the lyrics... Oh boy.

•Mastermind - Walang iba. Ito ang kanta na iniaalay para kay Ginoong Victor Ma. Regis Nubla Vico Sotto.🥴

•Hits Different- Imagine yourself 3 months after the break-up-- you're fine, you're well. Then you randomly wake up at 12 midnight and then you remember your ex. You think of the person but you were never ever getting back together, and somehow, that's okay.. That's how the song felt like.

When I finished taking notes for midnights, aba bigla nilapag ang 3 a.m. edition and so here are my two cents and bente pesos:

•The Great War - Imagine two kakampinks falling in love with each other after attending rallies last March to May. On the 7th of May, as they stood with the crowd in Ayala Avenue not knowing what would happen in the next few days, this song eventually plays. Oh my heart. /All throughout the great war, always remember, uh-uh we burn for better, I vowed I would always be yours cause we survived the great war/ 🥺

•Bigger Than the Whole Sky - Salamat sa saglit. Hahaha. Song for your fling na nawala din eventually. No hard feelings.

•Paris - Purely love song na walang red flag, I think? Or pwede rin naman may red flag, yung persona... /I wanna brainwash you into loving me forever/ Hahaha. Forda ferson na mabubudol natin into loving us forever. uWu.

•High Infidelity - This one gave me Death By A Thousand Cuts and The Very First Night Vibe kasi medyo upbeat pero dark yung lyrics. Hahaha. /There's many different ways that you can kill the one you love the slowest way is never loving them enough/ Edi meow. Also, may ice-celebrate na naman tayo every April 29th.

•Glitch - She sounds like the persona from Paper Rings na kalmado na. Hahaha. Yung pang 3 am na ang aura kasi tulog na lahat. /We were supposed to be friends/ This one is for Joe Alwyn too, I think? Sana all umabot ng two-thousand one-hundred and ninety days.

•Would've, Could've, Should've - Motivation 'to para sa lesson on auxiliary verbs and their contractions hahaha. Pero if you look closer, more than the regret, the song speaks of the awakening ni persona. Losing her innocence in the process of loving this person. This could be the matured version of the girl from All Too Well looking back at the experience. /Stained glass windows I regret you all the time/ /But you made me feel important you tried to erase us/

•Dear Reader - I think this one is purposely placed at the bottom of the list. It's the last one you should listen to, at 3:57 am when the dawn is breaking, and you are advised to /Find another, you should find another/

Overall, the songs are calm, euphoric, and mad at the same time, the typical moods you get at midnight when the world is slumbering peacefully and you're alone in your room. Faves for now are: Maroon, Snow at the Beach, Vigilante Shit, Mastermind, Paris, and Dear Reader.

Rating: Perfect over Perfect!!! Hahahahaha

P. S. SANA MAY WORLD TOUR AT KASAMA MANILA. Huehue 🤣😂

[robinthenonbnaieywonder]

A little bit I wrote about Rocket and nebula and how nebula is the first person that he confessed about lylla , teefs and floor to.

Nebula sat down beside Rocket. Sighing out of exhaustion. They where alone on the ship.

Quill was saying goodbye to gmora.

Dreax was taking care of some kids.

Mantis was taking care of the monster octopus things.

Cosmo and kraglen where taking care of each other.

And groot was giving the 2 some alone time wich was appreciated.

"I'm..." Nebula had always struggled showing her emotions . Part of the reason why her and gamora never got along very well.

"glad " nebula began slowly.

"that you are here" nebula finally got out.

Rocket gave her a confused glance.

"ya I know" rocket said.

"I just" nebula began angrily. Before taking a deep breath and starting again.

"I just... Wanted.... To ... Make sure.. that you knew" ... "That" . Nebula let out slowly.

"nebula" rocket said, resting his paw on her hand.

"take you're time. It's just the 2 of us right now. I an't gonna juge you for this" rocket said.

Nebula took a deep breath.

"I lost my sister. I just didn't want to loose... My brother too" nebula said.

Rocket's eyes winded to this.

"I don't think you should be calling me that" rocket said.

"why not " nebula asked.

Rocket scooted away a bit.

"rocket we ..." Nebula stoped to take a breath.

"what they did to you was worse then what Thanos did to me " .

"don't say that that purple prune put you through so much" rocket said his paw now back on her hand.

"yes but those monsters gave you something that Thanos never gave me"

Rocket scoffed at this.

"oh ya and what 's that" .

"hope"

And with that one word rocket immediately knew who she was talking about.

"how do you guys" rocket began his chest rising up and down with panic.

"we saw it . We saw them . In you're file" .

"we had to look through it . It was the only way to save you" nebula said quickly.

Rocket sat back down.

"why wait so if you guys know" .

"we don't know everything. We know who they are and that you clearly cared for them but other than that" nebula said.

" we where waiting for you to tell us on you're own" nebula said.

Rocket began to cry. No not cry sob. Full body sob.

"rocket?" Nebula said.

"rockey are you ok!!?" Nebula said. Using thair nickname ( or as nebula like to call them coad names) . So as to hopefully ground him.

Nebula sighed and pulled him into a hug.

After rocket calmed down a bit he sighed.

"lylla"

"what?"

"her name the otter it's lylla"

"a-and the wal-rus is teefs "

"and the" he pused to cry some more.

"the bunny is floor".

"they where my friends"

"lylla was my friend, and teefs was my brother and floor was my sister" .

"AND HE KILLED D THEM . HE KILLED ALL OF THEM . RIGHT IM FRONT OF ME . HE JUST WANTED TO LAUGH AT ME. AT US . HE WAS NEVER GUNNA TAKE US TO THE NEW WORLD " .

At this point rocket was so triggered that he was screaming.

"he didn't want things to be perfect , HE HURT THEM , THEY DIDN'T DESERVE ANY OF THAT, YOU DIDN'T DESERVE WHAT THANOS DID TO YOU " !!

"HE -he" rocket began to slow down and cry again as nebula slowly approached him.

She began to slowly stroke rocket 's head .

"it's ok . It's like you said. It's just the 2 of us" nubla said.

She sat down and placed rocket on her lap as she continued to pet his head. In a similar fashion that dreax did in the first guardians movie when og Groot died.

"you can let that mask fall now" .

Rocket began to cry into his hands. Nebula moved him to a position to where he was crying into her chest.

"I'm not going to judge you for this"

[blvthes]

        📁  recopilación de datos          usuario : @ blvthes   [ leer más ]  

i can’t let go of the violence and it burns right through me.  how did i become this? what made me half girl half knife?              holding my mother’s grief in one hand                  and my father’s anger in the other. 

                [  i wonder , i wonder , i wonder  ]

advertencias :  abuso verbal. violencia física. violencia doméstica. mención de sangre. mención de abuso de sustancias. 

                                     trece años  ──  jueves , once de la mañana. 

‘ mi madre dice que es importante fijarse con quién te vas a casar. ’ y aunque no les presta atención, puede sentir esas miradas sobre ella. ‘ de lo contrario terminas como la madre de [ _____ ]. con un ebrio bueno para nada. ’ aquello desata risitas al unísono y, en ella, despierta ese enojo que le nubla pensamientos y le da control absoluto a sus acciones. 

rápido se alza de su pupitre, tomando hebras contrarias con sus manos y jalándolas con fuerza. provocando un grito por parte de la cabecilla del grupo. ‘ si vuelves a hablar de mi, de mi madre o mi familia te clavaré un lápiz en el ojo. ’ una mera advertencia, capaz de provocar chillidos escandalosos del resto de sus compañeras de clase. 

                               trece años  ──  jueves , diez de la noche. 

escondida entre sábanas, el corazón le late fuerte. gritos perturban la visita de morfeo, la aferran a las pesadillas de su día a día. en lejanía escucha súplicas, los balbuceos de un padre ebrio y los sollozos de una madre muerta de miedo. 

‘ [ _____ ] ... papá está enojado. de nuevo. ’ la voz de su hermano menor le hace salir de la cama de un brinco, colocándose frente a él en lo que limpia un par de lágrimas. ‘ no. no lo está. ese sonido debe ser de alguna película. ’ pero sabe que no es así. ‘ ¿por qué no jugamos a las escondidas, eh? yo contaré y a ti te toca esconderte. pero recuerda, no puedes salir de la habitación. eso es trampa. ’ hermano menor asiente, a espera de que su hermana cubra sus ojos para esconderse dentro del closet. 

se abre paso por el pasillo, las súplicas y el crujido de objetos al aire le guían hasta la sala, donde desastre se proclama en la escena. ahí, de pie, ve a su padre darle una bofetada tan fuerte a su madre que le hace caer al suelo. ‘ ¡mamá! ’ su voz tiembla, acercándose a la mujer en lo que cubre su cuerpo con propia anatomía. 

‘ a ti te estaba buscando, muchachita idiota. ’ su intento por proteger a su madre se vuelve en vano. tomándole del cabello, jalando con fuerza, le obliga a ponerse de pie. ‘ ¿sabes lo que tus estupideces provocaron? ’ el cosquilleo de aliento etílico le eriza la piel. ‘ por tus putos juegos, los padres de [ ____ ] han decidido que no me volverán a fiar nada, ¡nada! de su jodida tienda. ¿ahora qué voy a hacer? ’ gruñó, tirando de su agarre con más fuerza. 

‘ podrías ... dejar ... de tomar. ’ arrastra sus palabras, reprimiendo el dolor que comienza a esparcirse por su cráneo. 

su imprudencia, el no saber guardar silencio provoca que su cabeza vaya a estamparse contra la pared más cercana. una vez, dos veces, tres, cuatro. ha perdido la cuenta cuando vista comienza a nublarse, las gotas escarlata comienzan a descender y ella cae al suelo. 

como un sonido lejano, débil y confuso, escucha los gritos de su madre implorando misericordia. pidiendo que se detenga o la va a matar. 

‘ eso debería hacer. ’ el dolor se centra en su costado, donde una patada provoca un alarido desgarrador. trata de moverse, arrastrándose cuando nuevo golpe termina por desestabilizarla, dejando que el frío del suelo la reciba. es ahí que siente el metal en su boca, escupiendo gotas bermellón. ‘ un puto problema menos para esta familia de mierda. ’ 

‘ papá no. papá basta. ¡lo siento! por favor. no lo hagas. no. no. no. ’ grita, implora, pero de nada sirve. por que su cuerpo se tiñe de tonalidades violáceas, ese escozor se esparce por cada rincón de su anatomía y, con sus últimas fuerzas, trata de defenderse. 

         pero ...  como una película que ya ha visto , se sabe el final de memoria. 

su cuerpo es arrastrado hasta el cobertizo. ese hecho de madera donde va a parar todo lo inservible, lo que no tiene arreglo. como ella. el sonido del candado despierta su desesperación. ‘ déjame salir. ’ su pie se estrella contra la puerta. ‘ sácame de aquí. ’ puños cerrados golpean una y otra vez. 

al ceder, al resignarse, su cuerpo cae sobre los tablones viejos. su respiración es agitada, con los vestigios de guerra marcados en cada parte de su anatomía y las lágrimas acariciando sus mejillas. entonces sus párpados caen. 

                ojalá la hubiera matado.                                 así no dolería tanto. 

[damn-stark]

I Won’t Say (I’m in Love)

Chapter 8 of Dark Temptations

A/N- oh my gosh I love this chapter and I’m also so excited to finally write the next one!! Like I’ve been looking forward to writing it since I thought of this series! It’s going to be a banger! Anyway I hope you all like this one :) let me know what you thought?! Also this chapter was inspired by the song ‘Won’t say (I’m in Love) by Susan Egan’ and these gifs are not mine, so credits to who made them :)

Warning- swearing, Poe being Poe ;), slow burn, angst, violence, dark rey, slight talks of bullying but just so slightly (just needed to add cause I know it can be triggering for some people) fluff! Long chapter..

Pairing- Dark!Poe x Skywalker!reader

(Let me know if you wanna be tagged)

————

“Hurry up and blow out the candle,” Jacen insisted as he walked into the room and let his hand hover behind your head; showing Ben his intentions with a wink behind you. “And then tell me what you wished for.”

You snort, “I’ll tell you now. A better brother.”

“Y/N.” Your father warned in a soft voice.

You shrug not being sorry for your comment before swatting Jacen’s hand away. Hearing him groan and seeing him sit across from you with half of his face hidden behind the candles burning flame, trying to insist you to blow out the candles again until you pointed something out first, “isn’t Poe coming?”

Ben answers behind you before Jacen could, sounding somewhat disappointed. “He would’ve been here already, so no, I don’t think so.”

You sigh and for a moment you’re as disappointed as Ben and Jacen. Or even more so. But it’s only for a moment as you manage to pull your smile back on and concentrate on the candle waiting to be blown out.

Grinning wider as you saw your family waiting (ghosts included) in front of you; smiling and singing the usual tune sang at one's birthday. Happiness overfilling the premises of the room for the single event of something so small yet significant; Clapping joyfully as you finally inhaled a puff of air and then happily blew it out to put out the single burning flame. Unknowingly blowing out the last moment of happiness and the only fire you would ever be able to put out.

Because as night crept along, so did the horrors of a raging fire crawl along. Bringing burning misery and leaving nothing but the ashes of the happy moments.

——

Deafening silence transpired in the space of the room, as from the depths of the couch your eyes captured every dancing color painted in the nubla clouded outside the transparisteel of the room. Noting the beautiful crimson light reflected on the warm skin of your hand and the entirety of your resting and slouching body. Feeling a salty taste kiss the corner of your lips as wretched tears rolled down the curve of your cheeks; trying to ignore the somber fact however as you admired the blue and green colors from the rest of the nubla parading around and basking the entirety of the room in its hues.

Feeling an almost vacant mind while you tried to numb the emotions that connected to this day, regretting even accepting Poe’s offer to accompany him wherever it was he was going to.

You should’ve just said no and let him have a fit instead, all you felt like doing today was nothing but sit in the echoes of your silence.

You didn’t even feel like getting up to open the door as a soft knock sounded on it. But it was a problem quickly resolved as the familiar swooshing sound hit your ears, signifying that someone opened it. Someone that basing off the soft footsteps on the floor, was Finn.

And identifying that, you wiped the tears off your cheeks, managing a small smile before turning around on the couch to face him, noticing right away an obvious mischievous intent written on his grinning face and hidden hands behind his back.

Your eyebrows pinch together and you fly up to sit up straight and instantly question him. “What? What’s going on? What are you doing?”

Finn says nothing and only gets an almost boyish grin as you follow him all the way until he comes around to stand before you, making you more nervous than sad now.

“Finn—”

“Happy birthday!” He sang as he swung his arm back around in front of him, revealing a small white round cake with a single candle on it.

“Oh stars, no,” you muffle out as you hide your burning face and wet cheeks in your hands, unable to contain the giddy smile on your lips. “How did you find out?”

He chuckles proudly and you feel the empty spot beside you sink down. “I have my ways.”

“You stalked me.”

“Researched!” He corrects you, moving the hands away from your face to show the cake in front of you.

You smirk and meet his gaze. “Same thing, stalker.”

“Whatever.” he huffs before the same excited grin grows on his lips; noting at that instant as the blue and green hues of the nebula clouded outside basked his face, how handsome he really was and much kinder his grin looked. It was truly admirable just like his kind gesture. “Happy birthday y/n.”

“Thank you Finn.” You finally say softly, blinking down as he lit the candle and pushed the cake closer.

“Make a wish and blow it out.”

“Oh jeez,” you sigh, “I haven’t done this in seven years. How do you do it again?”

Finn chuckles and plays along, “you inhale a little bit of air and then blow it out on the candle. Just don’t spray it out.”

“Gotcha.” Sharing one last smile you inhale a little bit, hesitating for a moment as you actually thought of a wish for his sake...and maybe yours. Watching the single dancing flame on the candle and feeling it captivate you as your memories began to flash in your mind for a fleeting moment. A single second before you forced yourself to blow out the candle and smile.

With a wider grin Finn then puts down the cake to face you and ask the usual, “What did you wish for?”

You scoff, “I can’t say or it won’t come true. You do know that's an unspoken rule right?”

“Come on just a little snippet.”

With a sigh you choose to say it, knowing it wouldn’t really matter as the real sad wish you thought of would remain hidden in the depths of your brain. “I wished to be a jedi Master.”

His eyebrows knot together in confusion, “aren’t you...one?”

“Nope. Not yet, my father never had the chance to grant me the rank of master. I’ve been doomed to be a Jedi knight for the rest of my life like my grandfather was.” You share. The last sentence added as more of an inside joke between Ahoska, Master Kenobi and said person. Knowing that only two of the three would’ve gotten a good laugh and it would’ve been great. And as much as you longed to live through that moment now, all you could do was imagine such a scene.

Finn blinks, not understanding a word and choosing to continue without going deep into it. “So, I know it isn’t a lot but it’s done with a lot of love, okay?”

“Don’t worry about it, I love it.” You smile before moving to wrap him in a much needed embrace. “Thank you Finn. You’ve got a good heart.”

At those words, his hold tightens and he lets out a slow breath of air, responding with nothing but a slow building tension that was broken as the door slid open. Revealing as expected, Poe.

He froze by the door and he gave no reaction at first, not until he collected himself and let his gaze narrow on what he caught; hiding his weird, bothered emotions as he walked inside. Letting the door close behind him before speaking up once Finn and you broke apart. “Good morning you two.” His eyes drift to the table in front of the couch and then to Finn and you again. “What’s the occasion?”

Just as Finn was going to open his mouth, you cut him off. “Nothing. Finn just wanted cake this morning.”

“Hmm,” Poe walks over to sit on your other side, suppressing his threatening smile and instead leading with something different. “Well we’re leaving soon, so do what you need to do before then.”

You shoot him a pointed gaze and turn your back to him before huffing out as softly as you could, feeling your pout but hiding it as you took a piece of cake on a paper plate and began to eat it in your unwelcomed and sudden anger.

Poe knew what today was. You knew you told him multiple times before—roughly seven years ago, but still, it’s something you doubted he forgot.

Or maybe he did. And it shouldn’t matter! It didn’t!

Yet you remembered his birthday even after the passing years without seeing him. Why didn’t he remember—no it didn’t matter. It doesn’t matter. Yet your eyes began to water as if you did care and he fucking noticed—“hey Princess are you okay?”

“Don’t.” You hiss as you stand and sit on Finn's other side, hearing Poe instantly remark back.

“Here I thought we were making progress.”

Another huff escapes you and you ignore him, feeling your anger burn more. Knowing at that instant that it did.

It did matter.

——

If there was a prize for rotten judgment you would be the sole grand winner for choosing to care so much about something so minuscule like remembering a birthday you haven’t celebrated for so long until this day because of Finn! But it's not like you were choosing to actually care, you didn’t want to at all. Who cared, right? Who cared about Poe remembering. Not you, nope.

Yet it felt so aggravating!

Like you wanted to grab him by the collar of his shirt and punch his nose, or just cry. Either choice—but he wasn’t even worth all this anger you felt boiling inside, or the crazy knotted up mess that was your thought process right now. He wasn’t worth you getting worked up. He wasn’t, and thinking so, you finally chose to expel out all the negativity and...other, with a deep breath in and a deep, relaxed breath out.

“Y/N.”

Fuck.

You grumble, “what?”

Poe stays silent for a second at the sound of your response whilst he studies your face and then tries to suppress a smug smirk; instead distracting the temptation by pulling out a blaster from his holster and holding it in front of you. “Since we’re not really in a safe place I want you to take this for just in case.”

You glance down at the black blaster and manage an amused grin and a scoff. At that instant and only for that shared instant forgetting your anger for him. “What?”

“Take the blaster.” He explains bluntly.

This time a snort escapes you, “a blaster?”

“Yes.” Poe deadpans.

You quickly frown, “you’re serious.” Rubbing the bridge of your nose you sigh, “I can’t take it.”

“What? You don’t know how to use it?” Poe asks smugly.

“No, I do, but it’s just not me….blasters are just so….” your face scrunches up and you pick up the blaster with the tip of your fingers in an almost disgusted manner. “They’re just so—can I use my lightsaber instead?”

Poe shakes his head, “no, I don’t trust you with them. You’re too good with them, you could cut my team without blinking and then leave, so no, sorry Princess, you get what you get.” He then follows by leaning closer and maneuvering your hand to the parts of the blaster. “And if you don’t know how to use it; hit the trigger and then shoot with this end pointing at the enemy.”

You frown and anger boils up again, watching him shoot you a smirk before his face was hidden behind the features of his black helmet, waving you over to follow him and his squadron; that was surprisingly made up of more of his black armored stormtroopers this time.

But as he did instruct you to follow, you didn’t and just fell by Finn's side. “What are we doing on Navarro anyway?” You question the only person you talked to outside of Poe and the only one you weren’t currently upset at. “I doubt we’re here for the Twi’Lek healing baths.”

“Nomad is here to meet with someone.”

“Who?” You interject rather quickly.

Finn shrugs, “a collector and bounty hunter; some Mandalorian. I don’t know he was being cagey.”

You hum and think out loud, “I didn’t know they existed anymore.” But then come to another conclusion, “but why did he bring me? There's no need for me here.”

“You prefer being in your room?” Finn counters.

“Well...no, but I just...nevermind.” Expressing one last huff you don’t finish what you’re going to say and instead focus on the tavern you were guided too, noting right away the few people inside all minding their business until Nomad and his pack of plastic followers walk inside disrupting the peace. Building a thick tension in the small area that only thickened as in the corner sat a single Mandalorian in red and white armor, it’s head lifting to most likely look at the man it was waiting for; following his movements as he turned back around and walked towards Finn and you.

“I’ll be back, I need to handle something, stay here while I’m gone.” Nomad instructs, his helmet facing Finn and then turning to face you. “Use the blaster if you need it, okay?”

You roll your eyes and cross your arms over your chest while you look away and hear him and his squadron leave through a back door, leaving only a selected few to patrol the area. Leaving Finn and you to sit on the bar in silence that he was quick to break with an enthusiastic question. “Birthday drinks?”

A smile even if you tried can’t help but spread on your lips.You weren’t much for drinking, only on rare occasions, but you knew he was excited and his gesture was meaningful, so you had no choice but to accept. Being left alone, or well not really, but since none of the other troopers were even close or paying attention, you were basically alone while Finn went to get what he offered; a poor and unintentional choice on his behalf since you were quick to get lost in your loud thoughts. Still absorbed by the stupid anger Poe’s forgetfulness left you in.

Unaware of the fact as you fought your thoughts and feelings that someone beside you was eyeing you, recognizing you straight away and speaking out loud in a voice that both startled you and sounded so familiar. “Y/N?”

Your eyes widen and with one hand you try to reach for your blaster, but freeze as from the corner of your eye the face registers in your mind. “Uncle Lando.”

“Kid, what are you doing here? Your—”

“Shh,” you breathe out, dropping your hand back to your side and picking up your guard—only not for the man sitting beside you, but of who could walk through those doors at any moment. “You know I would’ve loved to catch up any other time, but as of right now I’m sorry to cut this meeting short.” Snatching a napkin left on the bar you then have to ask, “do you have something to write with?”

He blinks but takes out something, handing it to you as he asks. “You’re with the first order aren’t you? What can I do?”

You glance around and shake your head, not hesitating even for a moment to jot down the old and new piece of information you had collected; “I want you to take these coordinates and transmit them only to C3PO or Artoo, no one else. They can give it to Ben or my aunt Leia.” You smile as you pass the piece of information to him, having to look ahead as to not give him away. “Don’t try and fight these people, just take it okay?”

He hesitates at your instructions, wanting just like his group of his friends to break the rules. But unlike them he was more rational and did what he was told. Thank the force—“okay I’ll do it now.” He stands up to leave, but before he does he walks behind you and hastily as well as briefly wraps his arm around your shoulders. “Happy birthday, junior. Hope we cross paths under better circumstances soon.”

You grin and want so badly to leave with the man next to you, but knowing if you did you'd put his life in danger. So for now all you had to do was wish and watch him leave—“we will. Thank you, uncle Lando.”

Before he leaves he places a very gracious amount of money on the table in front of you—A present you quickly came to recognize. And like all the times before, an expensive one.

“Hey, sorry I took forever. I almost had to fight some women for these drinks.” Finn finally returns whilst explaining in an annoyed tone.

“No worries,” you dismiss him, turning your head to watch him place the drinks in front of you. “Now I won’t have to think of my escape.” You feign a laugh, seeing him hesitate as he saw the money before you.

“Where’d you get that?”

“Oh,” dragging the money off the table, you shove it into your pocket and offer him a reassuring smile. “Poe gave it to me. I was just counting it.” Avoiding having to explain further, you take a big gulp of your drink and feel the tension rise again. This time it was something that lasted until you finished your blue drink, slamming the cup down and shooting Finn an innocent smile he didn’t find a meaning behind. Instead drank his own blue drink, making a distasteful face as the liquid hit his tongue. Beginning to mutter something until he stopped himself and put his helmet back on, staying seated and making you anxious at the sudden drop in mood and raise in tensed silence.

Silence broken by a blunt, “we have to go.”

Having no other choice, you follow Finn and the rest of the left over stormtroopers out, finding it strange right away as they were all sent back to the ship. All except for the both of you that kept walking deeper into the small town and then out, walking on grey stone and feeling the blaze from the distant lava that scattered around the planet. Seeing nothing for a couple of miles but sad, grey scenery; both in land and above. Spotting a couple long minutes later of endless walking, Nomad and two others behind him; in front of them the Mandalorian that you saw before, it’s helmet turning to face you, tilting slightly too whilst stopping its words it muttered to try to step towards you. It’s attempts stopped quickly as Nomad blocked its path.

“Tell you what, General, new deal. The girl for what you seek.”

Nomad doesn’t even take time to think of his answer, snapping back in an intimidating modified voice. “No. That was never the deal.”

The Mandalorian lets out a loud huff and places its hands on the handles of its blasters. “There's a bounty on her head worth more than your pounds of gold placed by her family. Do you know who she is or need I inform you?”

“She wouldn’t be with me if I didn’t know,” Nomad countered, his own gloved hand going to the handle of his vibrosword. “And she’s not some prize you can just take, or fight for. She was never the deal. We have our deal. Take it—”

“I’ll leave it.” The Mandalorian snaps back, in a blink of an eye, pulling out its blasters and shooting the two stormtroopers behind Nomad before threatening said man with its loaded blasters. Both pointing at one another with their weapons. Leaving Finn and you still in the same position as before, your own weapons ready just in case. “I’m taking the girl. Deals off whether you like it or not.”

“No.” Nomad argued sharply, “I need what you promised!”

The Mandalorians head tilts and it clicks its tongue under its helmet. “And I said, deals. Off. Tell your master that if he wants it he can come get it himself.”

Nomad’s hold tightens around his vibrosword, his head turning to face you for a moment that seemed like it was forever when in fact it was only a minute. One minute he took before he spun on the back of his heels to pull out his other blaster and shoot a man that had jumped out of hiding. A sudden action that caused you to gasp and be left in a silent surprise; an expression that lasted only seconds as a cascade of unfortunate events unfolded because of who Nomad shot.

Forcing you to hide after your blaster was shot out of your hand, not noticing Finn knocked out until he fell unconscious next to you.

“Finn?!” You suddenly cried out, catching the approaching gang of scoundrels rush towards you with determined and raging glares. Causing you to jump to your feet and look beside you to notice the blaster consumed by the small lake of lava. “Shit.” You look ahead again and see the gang approaching fast, but in the chaos that the day turned out to be, you also saw the freedom you craved as Nomad was weaponless on the ground just feet away.

Leaving him to get killed by the Mandalorian would make everything much easier, make your own goals be accomplished, make these people, even if it was for the money, take you back to the family you missed, closer to feel the force flow within you again.

Nothing would be easier than to give yourself in. But again as your eyes fell on Nomad your mind fought the battle that brewed inside you too, outweighing the choice to leave and leaving you with nothing but your own morality and despair to reach him in time. An insistence that made you break into an adrenaline packed sprint, feeling as the hot wind hit your face like you were running almost in slow motion, feeling like you were unable to reach him in time to stop the Mandalorian. Feeling utterly helpless without the force you needed, feeling the inkling of the same feelings you felt that night seven years ago.

But unlike that tragic night, this time you ran fast enough, you managed to reach Nomad before he was killed. Managing to pick his vibrosword off the ground and sliding on your feet to land perfectly in between the two, redirecting the blast the Mandalorian shot with the blade in your hand, hitting his unprotected throat and seeing in a matter of seconds its body fall lifeless to the warm ground.

The sight made you smirk just as you got to your given height and faced the now stunned gang, their bravery even if you couldn’t feel it through force, dwindling and burning away as they saw their leader dead by your feet. Some daring to come after you, but stopped as Finn awoke from his short unwanted slumber and shot them down in an act of surprise. Leaving the weak to run away before they could be killed too.

“Are you okay?!” Finn yelled out from where he was, wobbling as he struggled to get back to his feet.

You shot him a thumbs up as a response before turning to face a helmetless Poe struggling to get up. His brown eyes slowly lifting to notice your hand out in front of him before they locked with your own gaze. Noticing the small assuring smile that hid the sizzling anger you still felt towards him.

——

“Do you need help?” You ask Poe hesitantly. Not because you didn’t want to help him stitch his wound, but because for the past ten minutes after returning to the ship, you’ve fought yet another battle inside your mind on whether you should come help. Feeling the anger never leave, poisoning your mind more and more the deeper you thought of him forgetting a fact that he most likely didn’t care about.

Thinking about it now still made you boil over.

It was stupid and annoying, but it admittedly hurt the deepest chambers of your heart. Your uncle Lando’s comment only cured so much.

Why? Why did it have to be like this?

“I,” Poe’s eyes go from the needle in his hand and then lift up to you, sighing out his response as he pushes his hand out to you, “yeah, could you please.”

You offer a quick nod and wash your hands before walking towards him, swallowing thickly as you tried to ignore the sight of his exposed upper body, or the feeling of his warm skin under the tip of your fingers. Concentrating instead on the bad stitching on his still very much open wound that bled on his shoulder. “H-how were you even trying to do this without a mirror?”

His head lowers and he shrugs his right unharmed shoulder, sighing deeply while his head rises again, wanting to look over his shoulder to look at you, but deciding to keep his eyes on the wall instead. “Why did you come back? You could’ve let them take you back to your family, away from where you’re heading back to. Why did you even save me? I thought you hated me.”

You stop what you’re doing at his questions, leaving one of your palms resting on his smooth back, while your other hand held onto the needle, hearing your heartbeat suddenly pick up its rhythm inside your chest. Your mind hesitating for a moment to answer with the responses you had no time in coming up with. Truthfully it was a surprise you were even going to answer him the way you were—“because it was the right thing to do.”

“What? Come back to your cell?” He interjected.

You sigh, choosing to continue with what you had been doing as you continued to explain. “No, go back and help you. It was the right thing to do, I couldn’t just let you die; no matter what you’ve done. I wasn’t raised like that.” You let silence surround the small room for a brief moment to really piece your answer for his last question, feeling tension grow between you both the longer you remained quiet. Answering abruptly only before he could utter a word. “And I don’t hate you.”

Another brief pause takes place, this much quicker to break than the other. “I don’t hate anyone. Hate doesn’t lead you to anything good, I’ve learned that the hard way.”

Poe responds with silence, his head once again lowering after you finished, his body remaining still with only his eyes following your figure moving around the room until you stayed leaning by the cot across from him, speaking just above a whisper. “Well, thank you.”

You sigh and force a smile, “yeah.” With nothing else shared, you push your body off the cot and only take one step before Poe stops you.

“Wait, don’t go just yet.”

Your eyes flicker up to him and your heart races all over again.

“Now that we're alone, I wanted to give you something.” Poe reaches for his coat, digging his hand into a pocket hidden inside the clothing to pull out a small square silver box.

You scoff, “if it’s a pack of cigarras, thank you but I told you I don’t find them appealing.”

A small smile tugs on his lips as he shakes his head to turn down your comment. “It’s not that, just open it.” he extends his hand out to offer you the small box; making your face burn hotter than the lava that surrounded Navarra, causing your stomach and heart alike to do all types of flips inside you. Making your attempts slow as you took the box from his hand, feeling your fingers brush against his, but that particular feeling so small and unmatched to the feeling exploding within you now as you held the box in your hands.

“Okay,” you words tremble, glancing at him and then back to the box to pull the top off. Hesitating for a moment as you notice a small white silk cloth covering what was underneath; thinking at that instant, fuck, fuck, fuck—but continuing nonethless with shaky hands and a shaky breath that was suddenly sucked in as your eyes finally captured what the box contained.

Stars. Stupid…

“Poe…” you gasp, “what is this?”

He grins shyly, but also smugly. How did he do that?—“it’s a bracelet. I was going to give it to you in the morning, but Finn was there so I chose to save it for later.”

You try to swallow back a lump that had been quick to form in your throat as you studied the silver clasp snake chain charm bracelet inside the box; but you were unable to fully contain what threatened to show. Feeling your chest tighten more as your eyes stung with annoying tears the moment you also noticed the two silver star charms that were already decorating the bracelet. Poe’s continuing comment breaking you from your trance.

“I know you like admiring the stars from the room, and liked to do so even before, so now when you can’t see them outside you need only look down.” His voice softens and you swore by everything that you could hear his smile in his voice. “Happy birthday, sweetheart.”

No, no. Fuck, he can’t make you feel any type of warm and heart fluttering, exploding kind of way, no, no way. You were just angry at—fuck. Who were you kidding….

Finally being able to break away from the thoughts that barged through your mind, your eyes blink up to meet his already intent and soft gaze, hiding your watery gaze by going to him and wrapping him in a sudden embrace that caught him by complete surprise. Leaving him utterly clueless on what to do for a couple of seconds until your tightening hold snapped him back; letting him finally return your embrace with a hesitant hold at first, but soon tightening it around you just like you had with him. Hearing your words whispered by his ear that sent shivers down his spine—“thank you, Poe. You didn’t have to get me anything.”

Poe smirked and remarked your comment to try and hide what he felt brewing inside him. “You thought I forgot, didn't you?”

You scoff and break away instantly, lying straight through your teeth. “No, I didn’t actually.”

Poe snickered, “you did, I noticed you’ve been mad at me all day. But don’t worry I never forgot about you, Princess.”

Unable to give a coherent response you choose to scoff instead and choose to spin around to leave, not getting far as Poe caught your arm in time and whispered by your ear. “I’ve never forgotten about you,” he turns you around to face him again, the current position you were in making you squirm under his hold, unable to meet his eyes like you had moments ago. Hearing his lips part to add more instead—or rather nothing as he closed his mouth, not sharing what he planned and instead tilting your head up with his knuckle, making your eyes meet his dark ones. Letting him lean his face closer to you. Feeling his hand that was wrapped around your arm, slowly travel down to your hand, causing the hairs on the back of your neck to rise and your skin to grow goosebumps as his warm hand snaked past every inch of it.

The gentle touch almost felt in some ways euphoric or like that feeling when one drinks water in the middle of the night. It made you want to pull away but let him touch so much more. But he didn’t touch anything else, or say anything, he only smiled sweetly and began to gently caress your cheek.

“I-I” you stammer out before your eyes roam down to his lips, getting the strong temptation to just lean in and really, truly feel what his lips felt like, what they taste like and not having to only imagine it, or relay off a dream.

Every part of your body screamed at you to do it, nothing was stopping you; no sudden interruption or nagging thought to run away. You could and wanted to do it like you needed it to breathe—So you did it. You leaned in to close the gap without saying anything more, feeling your cheeks burn and your heart hammer inside your chest. All of it albeit brushing off as your lips brushed against his, but only that as he swiftly swerved you and kissed your cheek instead. Leaving you stiff and confused while he uttered words you barely caught. “Happy birthday, baby.” The teasing fuck then pulled away and moved around you, stopping as he reached the ships hall to throw back one comment you heard him say through gritted teeth, “Oh and Snoke wants to see you.”

First, fuck Poe; the anger you felt for him before had left your body, but now it returned with more raging fire. Second, great. This was going to be absolutely fantastic.

——

“Skywalker, it’s been some time.” Snoke greets coldly, not even acknowledging Poe on his knee next to you. “Truly your presence has been missed my friend.”

Ew.

Taking your silence and glare as a response, he proceeds by standing from his seat and walking down to be just a couple feet away to then wave someone over from behind you. His pale face soon thereafter decorated by an ugly wicked grin that you identified was caused by the brunette that walked to his side with a long hovering object at her side, and a sly smile shot at you.

“I have two gifts for you. One will be shown tomorrow in the form of a ball, or party, whichever term you may like to call it. But today my faithful apprentice and I both wanted to gift you something...special for such an important day.” Snoke continued proudly and with malicious intent, glancing at Rey to give her a knowing nod. “If you would.”

Rey doesn't hesitate and Poe stands to his feet the moment she lightly pushes the hovering object in front of you; glancing at you behind her hood to share a mischievous smirk as she uncovered the hovering object to reveal a box.

“Go ahead, Skywalker, It’s for you.” Snoke urges.

You hesitate to do as Snoke, glancing at Poe; the only person you trusted here. Someone who noticed your hesitance and shared an unsure but assuring nod. It didn’t precisely make you at all excited to actually do as instructed, but you did so because you knew it wasn’t really a suggestion.

And in that moment you began to reach the box to unveil what was hidden within you got a horrible gut wrenching feeling and felt a cold chill slither down your spine.

Feelings that horrifyingly intensified and became much greater the moment you threw the top back and identified the object within. Darth Vader’s burnt helmet.

——

(Ben’s P.O.V)

“If it’s a fight you want Ben,” she uttered confidently, pressing the button on her lightsaber to reveal the double blades that emitted from her hilts, and that almost blended with the blood red background. The only thing that distinguished the two was the humming sound coming from her lightsaber.

“It’s a fight you’ll get.” She finished, forcing Luke to summon his own lightsaber from his side and welcome it to his open hand, pressing down the button to activate the lightsaber and show a steady humming bright blue blade.

Upon noticing the changing fact, Rey smirked, twisting her lightsaber in a fluid movement as she watched Luke begin to walk behind her, trapping her between Ben and him. Causing a change that should’ve knocked down her confidence a notch or two, but that did what appeared to be the opposite, as she confidently lunged at Ben first.

Causing Ben to react quickly, hastily avoiding her blade by moving to the side—Rey then without a fault spun around and tried to surprise Luke by swinging down, but he was too skilled and caught her actions, avoiding her swing and looking at her with a disapproving look that made her grip onto her hilt with both hands and swing her other end at him. Her shoulders visibly stiffening as Luke again maneuvered out of the way.

Ben couldn’t help the pride build within himself at the scene in front of him, almost wanting to smirk at the fact that Rey seemed to be getting angry at Luke’s dodges. But that was the keyword, almost, because Ben took the opportunity Rey was distracted and strided closer to her; lifting his lightsaber to jab down on her back. Only getting surprised as Rey spun on her heels to clash her red blade against the blue just in time, lifting her leg and kicking Ben back.

Said man remained in balance and slid on his feet, glaring at the determined girl as she strode towards him, swinging her double blades but being met every single time with a clash, or quick dodges that ticked her off more each time. Enough so that she let out an angry bellow and dug her heels to the ground before running towards Ben. Turning her lightsaber in her hand to go for a high swing.

Ben quickly blocked her and was about to retaliate until her voice interrupted his action. “I can help you, show you the ways of the dark side,” she put out, her gaze consumed by the red lights below, narrowing her gaze on his currently unmoving stance, “you could join your cousin. Be stronger. The three of us could be stronger together.”

Ben blinked, “three? What about your Masters pet?”

Rey ignored that specific question and chose to continue with her plan on distracting him, her gaze unwavering unlike Bens; whos eyes searched her face, causing the reflection of the lightsabers hues to change from red and blue as he searched deeply to find the lie or the truth on her face—or really to take a second to debate her offer. “Think about it, Ben, more power than you have now. The anger that clouds you, I can help you with. You can be better than Darth Vader. We—”

“Ben!” Luke bellowed, stopping her words and letting Ben’s eyes snap over Rey’s shoulder. Distracting him from the move Rey began to play out, letting her continue to move back and fake a high swing that she swiftly switched up as Ben’s attention went on her again.

He moved his lightsaber to block her until she deactivated her blades and hastily dropped her hilt to catch it with her other hand. Smirking as the red blades reappeared again and she swung up in intents to slash his torso. Failing nonetheless as she didn’t count on the force Luke used to pull her back to hit the ground and only letting her blades cut Ben’s black tunic.

“Sorry.” Luke shrugged nonchalantly, his hands clasping in front of him as he watched Rey’s face turn red out of anger. “I’ll tell you what I would tell Ben. Breathe, anger doesn’t do you nothing good.”

A small growl left Rey’s lips as her hand clutched on her hilt, parting her lips to talk back, but not managing to say much as Ben stomped forward, spinning his lightsaber and lifting his blue blade over his head to try and impale Rey.

But right as he was going to complete his action, Rey lifted her legs and kicked him back with all her pent up anger; knocking his breath out of his lungs and causing him to fall to the ground with his lightsaber now several feet away from his hand—Rey used this advantage to swiftly push herself back to her feet and fluidly spin back to face Luke, swinging half of her red blade at him, but not surprisingly, creating bright sparks as the red blade clashed with the blue. The colors mixing and creating a purple hue that basked their faces as they remained still while Luke spoke out words that caught her off guard.

“It’s not too late,” he spoke, her glare faltering, “I could help you, teach you the ways of the Jedi. Take you away from the anger that clouds you and the master who manipulates you. It’s not too late, you can change, I can sense it.”

Rey stiffened as she remained struck with flooding emotions, trying to unscramble Luke’s words as she heard Snokes echo and the dark side pull back stronger. Only creating a silent waiting tension that broke as “reason” hit her again—“no. You can’t manipulate me! I will not fall!” She seethed, moving back and gripping onto her hilt with both hands again to fight back, throwing an angry remark beforehand. “But your daughter will! And she’ll be the monster you’ll fear the most.”

Luke remained unphased and spoke as so. “My daughter is stronger than you think, than your master thinks. She won’t fall.”

Rey cocked her head slightly to the side and grimaced, “we’ll see.” And then in a brisk move she stepped forward, swinging one red blade to meet the blue before her jaw clenched and she swung the other end; catching him before he could block her by closing the extended hilt and trapping his blade between hers.

Her confidence overcame her, thinking she had won before the fight was over, before Luke skillfully turned around to her other side. Twisting her lightsaber along with him and leaving her disarmed and steaming with anger. Something that caused her to throw her hand out and summon Ben’s lightsaber to her hand, gasping as she felt a force pull it back, fighting against her.

Rey turned around and saw Ben on his feet, his hand out trying to pull his lightsaber to himself as well, creating a tug of war against each other that increased in intensity as they both fought harder. Creating the same scene from the force connection; both groaning and grunting as they fought. Only this time not to push each other away, but to reach for something that shouldn’t have even been fought for in the first place, something that was just fought for because of the anger they both had. Blinding both and adding a tension to Ben’s lightsaber that was unknowingly making the kyber crystal within crack.

“Ben, let go! Leave her!” Luke tried to reason, but it was only going in through one ear and shooting out the other. “Ben! Listen to me, let go of your anger! Breathe! She isn’t worth it let go!” Luke bellowed again, dropping Rey’s lightsaber and trying to make Ben understand without wanting to intervene with the battle in front of him. “Ben, y/n still needs us! Let go! Ben—”

Luke’s words suddenly cut off as something red flew through the room and hit Rey’s shoulder, sending her flying back and the hold she had on the lightsaber to be dropped out of a sudden.

Both Ben and Luke looked back and by the entrance stood Mara with a blaster in hand and a determined expression set on her features. Leaving Ben stunned and amazed.

“No more time to gawke, it’s time to go.” She explained, waving both men over; making them both listen and rush towards her to then run out of the room and down the same halls to get back to the Falcon. Leaving a moment of just silence that made Ben wonder out loud.

“Why did you go back? I thought my uncle Luke took you back to the ship?”

The man in question responded with nothing in his defense and instead focused on getting out, letting Mara answer instead. “He took me halfway and I decided to go back because I knew something was going to go wrong. You’re welcome.”

Ben’s mouth was left open, unable to speak any words, just let silence take over instead all the way until they reached the already started up Falcon, with Chewbacca waiting by the ramp, his shoulders dropping at the realization of the missing person.

He expressed his concern and Ben answered hesitantly as he climbed inside and walked past him. “She-she’s not here.” Not waiting for another question, Ben hurried to the cockpit where his father was waiting, his face like his mother’s dropping their excitement, as like Chewbacca they noticed the missing person they were here for in the first place. And before they could question the absence, like Ben knew they would, he interrupted their thought, “she wasn’t here, we have to go before they blow us up.”

They said nothing, but look at one another and then at Luke walking past Ben. He hadn’t meant to be so harsh when he answered, but he didn’t have the time or patience. All he could think about was letting his cousin down, failing and falling for the trap Rey had supposedly laid, the anger that he felt built more and more inside him, towering to a point it felt like it was going to tumble over and bring his composure down with it. Nothing felt like it could calm him down, not his family, his old master or Mara. Not the thought that he could save his cousin because he was failing at that. His anger was becoming overwhelming, clouding him. The only thing that seemed to distract him from imploding was the sudden violent shake on the Falcon.

“Oh no,” his father expressed, removing his hand from the hyperspace lever.

“Oh no what?” His mother questioned wide eyed.

“It’s not wanting to jump to hyperspace.” He stressed, his hand jumping all over the control board, avoiding another blast that threatened to hit the ship.

“What do you mean?” Luke followed, “I thought you were here fixing the ship the whole time?!”

“I was!” Han snapped back.

“Then?!”

Han turned to look back at Luke to point his finger at him, his annoyance for the situation clear as day. “I’ve got it handled.” He turned around quickly and began to give Chewbacca instructions, demanding answers for the problems, but receiving nothing but another hit that shook the whole Falcon.

“If we don’t get out of here, they’re going to blow us out of space.” Ben added to the tension.

“Not exactly,” Mara spoke up in an excited tone, a grin spreading on her face before she rushed out of the cockpit. Reappearing moments later through Hans headpiece, her intentions instantly explained as blasts from the Falcons gun began to shoot out at the TIE’s after them.

“At least someone’s thinking.” Han quipped, his attention wavering from flying, to helping Mara and trying to fix the Lightspeed problem. Causing Ben to move along and distract himself with that, going all around the boards, pushing, pulling and changing anything he could think of. Turning out that the stress this was causing was not the best for his already building up anger. Just as he was going to complain, his mother’s voice broke through.

“I did it.” She smiled, making Han turn to her stunned, in slight awe and admiration. “Maybe it’s time to retire, flyboy.”

Han scoffed and smirked, turning back to focus his attention on leaving, “Punch it, Chewie!”

This time the action came out successful; seeing the blue and white streaks of hyperspace fly past them. Dropping Ben back to his anger as well.

——

“Think about it, Ben, more power than you have now...”

No.

Ben grabbed his lightsaber from his side and set it on the table, taking it apart to see the blue kyber crystal that was once complete, cracked and unable to give full life to his lightsaber as it did before. Now it sputtered as it activated, steamed almost, like at any moment it was going to explode. All because of Rey.

“The anger that clouds you, I can help you with…”

No.

He took a deep breath and tried to find a solution to heal his kyber crystal, unaware that his hand was clenching so tight under the table that his nails broke his skin until it bled. Unaware of the pair of eyes carefully watching him from across the room.

“You can be better than Darth Vader...”

No.

“Ben.”

Said man clenched his fist tighter, flinching slightly at the sudden call of his name from the girl approaching.

“Mara,” He uttered deeply, meeting her gaze only briefly before he focused on his cracked crystal again. “Are you still mad?”

Mara sat across from him in the booth and rested her arms on the table, shaking her head, “I understand why she had to hide her real identity, but I just don’t get why you guys didn’t trust me enough to tell me...or atleast her.”

Holding the crystal between his thumb and pointer finger, Ben sighed, “don’t take it too personally, my cousin isn’t good with people, she prefers talking to ghosts or family. It takes her time to get comfortable around some people.” his eyes slid to the side to meet her dark ones, “she used to get bullied by the other kids in the temple when she was younger because of who she talked to that's why...just don’t tell her I told you. She’s never talked about it.”

Mara hummed in comprehension, folding her arms over the table and admiring the crystal in Ben’s fingers—“what’s wrong with it?”

Ben shrugged, running his hands through his long hair, “it’s cracked and unstable now. I need to fix it to make my lightsaber work...but I haven’t found a way yet. If you have any, I’m open to hear them.”

Mara giggled, “I know nothing about lightsabers just that they’re actually heavier than I expected.”

Ben smiled slightly, feeling his anger subside for a moment, but not enough. She wasn’t enough.

“I can help you find jai—y/n.” Mara continued, making Ben frown.

“No,” he shook his head, putting the crystal back into his lightsaber, “the only clue to where she could be ended up being a trap.”

“So, you’re going to give up?”

“No.” Ben snapped quickly, a sharpness in his tone he didn’t mean. “She’s still out there. As long as she is, I'm going to look for her.”

Chewbacca from where he sat in the Falcon, added to Ben’s statement, making Ben agree. “Chewbacca is right, we only know she might be in another star destroyer. No where. She could be anywhere in this galaxy. It could take months to find her. Months my mother and you don’t have time to keep looking. You both need to get back to base.”

“What about you?”

Ben only briefly glanced at her as he responded, “I told you already, as long as she’s out there I’m going to look. She needs me.” He looked into the depths of the crystal on the table, once again clenching his fist, breathing in deeply and exhaling out slowly. The topic he was talking about made his fist shake and his jaw to clench tightly. Made him roll his head to the side to try and cool his anger. The darkness that seeped through, biting down on him and not wanting to let go, trying to drag him down completely with no trace to be left.

No clarity…

“Ben!” His mother suddenly called, pulling his gaze to her entering the room with a hopefulness in her eyes. “It’s a message from Lando...from y/n.”

Ben instantly dropped what he was doing and rushed to follow behind his mother, hearing Mara and Chewbacca trial behind as well until they returned to the cockpit where the first thing he noticed was a small hopeful smile on his uncle Luke’s face, as he like Ben’s parents gathered around the comm with C3P0’s voice speaking out.

“Oh I feel so honored that master y/n, would trust me with such important information. I do hope she’s well—”

“Threepio.” Ben’s mother cut off the blabbering droid sharply. “The information.”

“Oh right,” the droid exclaimed, “Master Calrissian sent a personal message to me from Master y/n that only reads “05251977-05251983, Wing B”. It looks to be some coordinates. Oh, by the force what could it mean?”

The group inside looked at one another to try and understand the small piece of information, not grasping right away until Mara pointed it out. “It coordinates to the star destroyer she’s on.”

“Exactly,” Leia added excitedly, “and the last piece of information is where she is on the ship.”

Han chuckles, “that’s my girl! Smart like her uncle.”

Luke scoffs from where he sits but adds nothing but a narrowed gaze shot at Han.

“Okay, goldenrod thank you so much for your help,” Han shouted out to comm as his finger hovered the button to turn it off after adding one last thing before the droid could speak up. “bye!”

The cockpit falls in silence for a long tense moment that Ben breaks seconds later with a final happy smile, “we found her.”

.

.

.

A/N- a little drop of jealous Luke because Han called Luke’s daughter his girl 😌 lmao anyway hope you all liked and be ready for what’s to come :)

Tagged- @thescarletknight2014​ , @softly-sad​ , @golden-guide​ , @abysshaven​ , @a-dorky-book-keeper , @kit-jpg​​ , @mybarnesmyhero , @zoeyangels, @algenforthewin, @leilei-draws

Permanent taglist- @ms-dont-care​ , @commondazy , @paintballkid711

[howlinglady]

After playing on/off for almost 7 months, I finally platinumed Dishonored 2. Could have had it a lot earlier if I’d gotten the lore stuff on my second run, but the biggest pain in the ass was the sliding headshot and the chained possession.

Slidign headshot took me over an hour over multiple days to get, I finally got it by sliding towards and unconscious hairs lying sideways. The circle of life would have been easier if I hadn’t killed the guard by the pond in the conservatory and then overwritten the save before. I had to knockout someone, put them close to the pond and then start with the hound, rat, bloosfly, hopping to the fish was kinda hard but I got it in the end.

Now I have to do Death of the Outsider, which I think is easier. Also I gotta continue my ng+ ultra hard Horizon playthrough plus frozen wilds dlc that I still haven’t played. And I want to actually finish uncharted 4 and do lost legacy at some point.

Most of all, I want to see if I can plat Kingdom Hearts Final Mix. I got the 1.5+2.5 collection and I’d like to plat the first one. I doubt I’ll ever get the rest, specially since I don’t think anyone of them have stacking difficulty so you need like 3 playthroughs each. Then I want to finish and do most of Dragon age: inquisition.

I have a huge backlog of games I want to finish, try for plat, and a few others I haven’t even started cause I have so many. Plus I sink a fuckload if hours into overwatch, and recently way too much in fortnite battlw Royale

[gabrielacortezblog]

Obscuridad

Esta oscuro lleno de nostalgia, existe ese algo que perturba el alma, ¿será el cielo que se nubla por qué no estas con calma?

En la oscuridad de la noche, en la seca tempestad de los sentimientos, mis pensamientos invaden un solo silencio...

¿Duda?, ¿miedo?, ¿soledad? Es lo que no vez por esta inmensa oscuridad.

-Gabriela Cortez-

Darkness

This dark full of nostalgia, there is something that disturbs the soul, is it the sky that clouds why you are not calm?

In the darkness of the night, in the dry tempest of feelings, my thoughts invade a single silence ...

Doubt? Fear? Loneliness? It is what I did not once for this immense darkness.

-Gabriela Cortez-

[thisishomeworkiswear-blog]

Idiot (Voltron)

Lance P.O.V.

I’m a dead man. I was supposed to die earlier this week, during a mission to remove the last traces of the Galra empire from the galaxy. The Nubla Base was one of the largest bases there was. It was suppose to be an in-and-out mission. Shiro and Allura both agreed it would be a “good experience for Keith and Lance to try to work together”. They sent Pidge to do the hacking, activating, deactivating, rescuing and stuff I don’t understand. Keith and I were supposed to guard her and keep away soldiers while she did her thing. She was also our ride to the base.

It wasn't an ’in-and-out’ mission. Keith and I took a couple of wrong turns and ended up where are comms weren't working and far from any ‘you are here’ signs. While creeping through a dimly lit hall, we got discovered by some troops. They sounded the alarms and the passage was flooded with pissed-off Galra soldiers, all out for blood. Keith whipped out his bayard and activated his shield.

“Get your bayard out and get behind me!” He commanded.

“Naw, I’m just going to stand here like an idiot and die without trying.” I replied with a dry, sarcastic voice while doing exactly the thing he told me.

Keith grunted as he began cutting down the enemy. I began picking off  soldiers that could harm Keith. I ain’t sharpshooter for nothing!

Wave after wave of troops came edging towards both sides trying to cut off any means of escape. They were successful. We were slower than when we started, tired from the fighting. We were surrounded by the troops. They all had a gun pointed at us. Nobody shot and we didn't move.

I slowly turned to look at Keith, “What now?”

He shrugged and said “Now we call for help”

“You will not be calling anyone today or ever” a officer growled at us, “You will be taken to prison to be executed.”

Happy thought. I was still facing Keith when a brilliant plan came to me. “On my signal we attack the bad guys. It was nice knowing you Keith, but I think we are going to die either way.”

“Nevermind that. What’s the signal?”

“It might leave you a little flustered.”

“What’s the signal.”

“I love you, Keith”

Now, Don’t judge me. I really thought I was going to die. If I knew we were going to make it out alive, I would have chosen a different signal.

I turned and kissed Keith like it was the last thing I was ever going to do. At the time I thought it was. Anyway, when we broke apart, every soldier, officer, and random person passing by jaws’ dropped providing Keith and I the perfect opportunity to escape.

He looked a little dazed but his weeks and weeks of training kicked in and we escaped to the Green Lion where Pidge was waiting for us along with the plans for Zargon's robot that nearly defeated us and got Shiro lost for a while.

----------------------------------------------V----------------------------------------------------

“Well guys you were no help at all. You got lost. I got the plans, the prisoners, and deactivated all the systems with a virus that can’t be fixed.”

“Hey we were a help!” I argued with Pidge as we got settled in the head of the lion, “We drew the guards off your tail! WE NEARLY DIED IF NOT FOR A BRILLIANT DISTRACTION!!!!! You know what? Forget it.”

“Mmm. And what was this brilliant distraction may I ask?”

Keith shot me with a look that could freeze a planet of lava. “No, you may not ask. We are to never speak of the ‘brilliant distraction’. Ever. “

“Okaaay then, I won’t ask. Let’s head back to castle.”She said as the three of us shot into the sky.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And I have been avoiding Keith ever since. It’s been two days since the kiss and he has been turning the castle upside down looking for me. I think he is going to kill me. Not like ‘Oh no! Mom is going to kill me’ I mean six feet under going to kill me.

Some of my best hiding places are

in the tail of Blue

Under the bathroom sink (I enter and lock the door)

In the Red lion (dangerous, I know)

Under the bed (He has never looked there yet)

In the vents

So that’s why I am hiding here. Don’t tell him where I am.

Keith P.O.V.

I will find Lance and kill him. He told you where he was hiding didn't he. He told you about the distraction. If you tell me where he is I won’t set fire to your laptop. Under His bed? Thank you.

Pidge P.O.V.

Good job getting him to tell you what happened. Did you stick the camera in his room? Good. We can watch the throw down here.

----------------------------------------------V----------------------------------------------------

Keith entered the room and tore off the covers of Lance’s bed. He reached out and grabbed Lance and dragged him out in front of him. Lance cowered under Keith’s steady gaze. Keith took a deep breath and stepped forward to kiss Lance.

“I love you too you Idiot.”

[dannitan]

84 Questions

Put your music player of choice on shuffle and list the first 10 songs. When We Were Young - London Grammar; Do I Wanna Know? (cover) - CHVRCHES; 18 - 5 Seconds of Summer; Penny Lane - The Beatles; Night Changes - One Direction; Everglow - Coldplay; Dancing Queen - ABBA; The Motherlode - The Staves; After the Afterparty (feat. Lil’ Yachty) - Charli XCX; Sad - Maroon 5

If you could spend a week anywhere in the world, where would it be and why? Would you take anyone with you? KOREA. So I could enjoy the culture, sights, and food again. I have never been there so it would be awesome to visit. I’d take my family or good friends along.

What is your preferred writing implement? (eg. Blue pen, pencil, green pen) Black ballpen.

Favourite month and why? January or February because it’s still cool.

Do you have connections to any celebrities (even minor)? List them. My dad’s side (by way of the Nubla clan) is distantly related to Coney Reyes (actress).

Name 3 items you could pick up from where you are. a) a mug with coffee; b) black ballpen; c) colored pencils

What brand logo is closest to you currently? Resorts World Manila

Do you ever play board games or other non-computer games? Got any favourites? Sometimes. I like Game of Life, UNO, Monopoly Deal.

A musical artist you love that isn’t well known Astrid S

A musical artist you love that is well known Coldplay

What is your desktop background currently? Kate Spade striped wallpaper

Last person you talked to, and through what you talked to them My yaya (nanny). We talked to each other in person.

First colour name you can think of that isn’t in the rainbow Black (does it count?)

What timekeeping devices are in the room you are currently in? My iPhone.

What kind of headphones do you use? JBL

What musical artists have you seen perform live? Most recently, Sam Smith. He was AMAZING live and looked real good. <3

Does virginity matter to you? Yes! Absolutely.

What gaming consoles do you or your family own? We have a Wii and GameCube that are long unused and broken.

What pets do you have? What are their names? 2 dogs :) a Yorkie named Chili and a toy poodle called Chip

What’s the best job you’ve ever had? Being a behavior technician at ABC Center Philippines. I would not change it for anything else, good or bad.

What’s the worst job you’ve ever had? None but does an internship count?

What magazines do you read, if any? Preview, travel magazines. Not so much into magazines compared to before. :P

Inspiration behind your URL? my nickname from secondary school + surname

Inspiration behind your blog title? N/A

Favourite item of clothing? My Anello backpack.

Are you friends with any exes? Never had a boyfriend yet!

Name at least one book you loved as a child. The Very Hungry Caterpillar by Eric Carle

What’s your native language? If that language has distinct regional variations, which variation? (eg. AU English, US English) Philippine English. NOTE: I also speak Filipino but not super good at it. :\ I regret not taking Chinese (both Hokien and Mandarin) when I was younger.

What email service do you use? Gmail.

Is there anything hanging on the walls of the room you are currently in? A board with some Polaroids and positive quotes on it.

What’s your favourite number, and why? 5. It it not too big or too small in amount!

Earliest moment in your life you can remember? Watching VHS tapes at my grandparents’ (dad’s house) house during the weekends. I miss being a kid. :(

What did you have for dinner yesterday? Korean food from Kogi Promenade.

How often do you brush your teeth? Twice a day.

What’s your favourite candy/chocolate? Kitkat. Hershey’s Cookies & Cream. Milka Triolade.

Have you had other blogs on Tumblr? Do you have any other blogs currently? None. Just this one.

If you were suddenly really hungry, what would you choose to eat? RICE.

What fandoms would you consider yourself a part of? Probably a fangirl of Benedict Cumberbatch and Eddie Redmayne. <3 <3

If you could study anything, what would it be? Applied Behavior Analysis. Fashion Design. Abnormal or Clinical Psychology. Sociology.

Do you use anything on your lips? (eg. Chapstick, gloss, balm, lipstick) Lipbalm. On special occasions, lipstick.

How would you describe your sense of humour? I like satirical and dark humor.

What things annoy you more than anything else? Tardiness, rude people, stupidity, traffic, extreme weather.

What kind of position are you in at the moment? Happier. :)

Do you wear much jewellery? Not so much anymore! Just studded earrings sometimes.

Who is the leader of your country, currently? Any other levels of government with leaders? (State, region, province, county, district, municipality, etc) President- Rody Dutertre -__-

Last 3 blogs on your dashboard, not including any of your own I can’t see them as of now.

What do you carry your money in? Wallet.

Do you enjoy driving? Why or why not? I don’t drive.

Longest drive you have ever been on? A car ride to Baguio.

Furthest away from home you have ever been? USA with the family.

How many times have you moved house? Twice. Once when I was a baby and then when I was 10.

What is on the floor of the room you’re currently in, not including furniture? My laptop bag.

How many devices do you own which can access the internet? 4.

Is there is anything that is guaranteed to always make you happy? My dogs. Chocolate. Good reading material. Shopping. My loved ones. Travel.

Is there anything that always makes you sad? Remembering my grandfather and his condition before.

What programs do you currently have open? uTorrent, Google Chrome, Spotify, iTunes.

What do you associate the colour red with? Good luck (Chinese tradition).

Last strong smell you can remember smelling? Smoke from the area next to our center.

Last healthy thing you ate? Kimchi.

Do you drink tea or coffee, and how much per day? Both but coffee much more often! I drink it at least twice a day.

What do you associate the colour blue with? Calmness and my college alma mater, Ateneo. :)

How long is the closest ruler you can find? None?

What colour pants/skirt/etc are you currently wearing? Maroon.

When was the last time you drank water? 2 hours ago.

How often do you clear your browser history? Every month.

Do you believe nude photos can be artistic, rather than erotic? It depends.

Ever written fanfiction for anything? Nope.

Last formal event you attended My cousin’s wedding.

If you had to move your birthday to another date, which one would you choose and why? January 1, so that my birthday will be on the start of the new year!

Would you prefer to be at a beach or in the countryside? Countryside!

Roughly how many people live in your town? Too many to count.

Do you know anyone with the same birthday as you? My godfather’s sister.

Favourite place to shop? Can be a certain store or a place where there are multiple stores H&M, Zara, Dorothy Perkins, Plains & Prints.

Do you have a smartphone? What kind? If you don’t, do you want one? yup I do! I have an iPhone 6S.

What is your least favourite colour, and why? Can’t really choose haha.

How do you spell grey/gray? Grey.

Go to your dashboard and describe the image shown in the radar section (below the “Find blogs” link) I think it’s a video clip!

What difference is there between how many followers you have, and the number of blogs you follow? Huge!

How many posts do you have? More than a thousand!

How many posts have you liked? Same as above.

Do you post mainly reblogs, or your own content? Reblogs.

Do you track any tags? Nope.

What time is it currently? 12:09 PM Manila Time.

Is there anything you should be doing right now? Taking a bath!

[phgq]

Senate honors Pasig Mayor Vico Sotto for Int'l Anti-Corruption Award

#PHinfo: Senate honors Pasig Mayor Vico Sotto for Int'l Anti-Corruption Award

Mayor Vico Sotto (PIA NCR file)

PASIG CITY, March 4 (PIA) -- The Senate has honored, through a resolution, Pasig City Mayor Victor Ma. Regis Nubla Sotto, popularly known as Vico Sotto, for being recognized by the U.S. State Department as one of the 12 "International Anticorruption Champions."

Senate Resolution No. 657, introduced by Sen. Manuel "Lito" Lapid, was adopted in consideration with Senate Resolution No. 660, authored by Senate President Vicente Sotto III and Sen. Panfilo Lacson.

In his sponsorship speech, Lacson said Mayor Sotto has set the bar high in public service. He said Pasigueños are fortunate to have a leader who "embodies wise thoughts, prudent actions and selfless intentions to advance the well-being of his constituents."

The U.S State Department said Mayor Sotto is a standard -bearer of a new generation of Philippine politicians who prioritize anti-corruption and transparency in their election campaigns and in the office.

"This recognition by the U.S. State Department bestowed upon Mayor Vico Sotto, the only Filipino public servant in the roster of honorees, meaningfully uplifts the morale and dignity of the Filipino people amid the challenging times of global pandemic," Sotto and Lacson said in their resolution.

Sotto lauded his nephew and godson for accomplishing the things he did despite being relatively new in the political arena. Sotto said the young mayor's accomplishments are truly impressive and laudable.

"His new and fresh perspective have led to many positive changes in the local government of Pasig City... like saving billions for the city government coffers as a result of transparent bidding, 140 percent in the increase in salary of health aides and the regularization of contractual workers who had been serving the government for more than 20 years," Sotto said in his co-sponsorship speech.

"And now by reason of his earnest efforts against corruption and his commitment to transparency initiatives, Mayor Vico received a recognition awarded by the U.S. State Department. This has brought optimism in a government where corruption is the norm and goodness and honesty are the exceptions," he added.

Undeniably, Sotto said, Mayor Vico is a true leader in words as well as in deeds. He said the young mayor exemplified the true essence of a public service, which is selflessly serving others and not himself.

"To my nephew and godson, I already knew from the start that you are destined for greater heights. Your journey is still long and your tasks are many, if not endless. But with your current unparalleled achievements, I am certain that there is nothing that you cannot accomplish," Sotto said.

According to the resolution, Mayor Sotto has been steadfast in his commitment to rid corruption by eliminating kickbacks in the awarding of city contracts. He established a 24/7 public information and complaints hotline for the purpose.

The young mayor also involved civil society organizations in the city's budgeting and policymaking He mandated at least a 10 percent reduction in the value of city government contracts, a measure intended to reduce bribery in the contract awarding process.

The resolution also lauded Mayor Sotto for his proactive and innovative approach amid the coronavirus pandemic. (PIA NCR)

***

References:

* Philippine Information Agency. "Senate honors Pasig Mayor Vico Sotto for Int'l Anti-Corruption Award." Philippine Information Agency. https://pia.gov.ph/news/articles/1068622 (accessed March 05, 2021 at 09:23AM UTC+08).

* Philippine Infornation Agency. "Senate honors Pasig Mayor Vico Sotto for Int'l Anti-Corruption Award." Archive Today. https://archive.ph/?run=1&url=https://pia.gov.ph/news/articles/1068622 (archived).