#and then i can go home! and sleep in my own bed.
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For the Sweethearts game: Steve Rogers + All Mine đđ
more than chocolate
pairing: husband!steve rogers x wife!female reader
summary: after your valentine's day date with your husband, he takes you to a hotel room and you make good use of the bedâbut end up heading home to sleep in your own home.
warnings: 18+ content (minors dni!!!), smut, piv sex, unprotected sex, possessive sex, creampie, breeding kink, daddy kink, choking, biting, rough sex, established bdsm dynamic, light bratting/brat taming, pussy spanking, dirty talk, praise kink, light degradation, husband/wife kink, orgasm control/delay, cockwarming, aftercare, marathon sex, happy ending
word count: 4.5k
a/n: thank you for sending in a prompt, Eva!!! i'm not even the least bit surprised that you chose Steve đ€ i hope you love this feral, possessive husband version of him, because i had fun writing him. thank you for playing my sweethearts game, i hope you enjoy âĄâĄ
sweethearts game masterlist
Giddy laughter bubbled up in your chest, tasting like the champagne still lingering on your tongue, which was busy savoring the rich chocolate mousse from the depths of Steve Rogersâ mouth. You dragged his broad body closer, licking the groan from his lips while his arm banded around your waist tightened almost painfully.Â
The back of his other arm brushed against the soft mounds of your tits while he fumbled for the key card to your hotel room that was stashed in the pocket inside his jacket, and you couldnât help but moan into his mouth. Your body was suffused in heat and need that grew with every moment, and you finally broke from the kiss to urge Steve on.
âCâmon, captain, your wifeâs pussy is feeling so empty and needy,â you purred in his ear, pressing hot kisses along his jaw. The big super soldier shuddered, and you grinned like a cat that got the cream against his cheek. âDonât you wanna fill me up? Donât you wanna put a baby in my belly?â
A rough sound wrenched free from Steveâs mouth, his arm tightening around your waist as he caught your lips in a fierce kiss that sent your mind scattering along the ugly rug of the hotel hallway.Â
Distantly, you heard the rending of metal, but you didnât pay it much mind since Steve was lifting you up into his arms and carrying you into the room. He kicked the door shut behind the two of you with another screech of metal that sounded wrong, though you couldnât say why.
Before you could think to pull away and see what damage Steve had done or ask him about it, his hand was cupping the back of your head, holding you close as he kissed the breath from your lungs and strode deeper into the room.Â
Your chest was burning for air and your body was throbbing with arousal by the time your husband tossed you down on the soft hotel bed. You took only a brief second to glance at the rose petals strewn across the blanket, arranged in the shape of a heart, before you turned back to the glory that was Steve Rogers.
The former Captain America stood at the foot of the bed, his blue eyes blazing with desire as he tore off his dinner jacket and tossed it somewhere in the room. One hand worked open the top buttons of his light blue dress shirt while the other wrapped around your ankle.
âIs this how itâs going to be tonight, wife?â Steve rumbled, a feral smirk on his face as he yanked you down the mattress, manhandling your body even as he took care not to use too much of his super-soldier strength so he didnât hurt you.
You shrieked with dizzying laughter, your nice dress riding up to your hips as you spread your legs for your husband, giving him a perfect view of the lacy panties you wore beneath. Steveâs gaze dropped immediately to the juncture of your thighs, his big hands skimming up your legs and pushing them wide open so you were on full display for him.
âYou think you can tease me into breeding this pretty little pussy?â he asked darkly, palming your hot cunt through the thin fabric of your panties, which were already damp with your desire. âYou think you can bat those pretty eyes and kiss me with those pretty lips and Iâll rut you until youâre so full of my cum, thereâs no way youâre not knocked up?â
His fingers pushed shallowly into your dripping hole, fucking you in a poor mimicry of what you actually needed. But your panties were still in the way, preventing him from slipping all the way inside your needy pussy, teasing you with the penetration you so desperately needed.Â
Your head thrashed on the bedspread, rose petals feeling like silk against your skin, and you made the most pathetic sound, partway between a whimper and a whine. Your hips worked hard against Steveâs hand, grinding your greedy pussy against his palm as you tried to take his fingers deeper, to where you needed them.
âYes, I do, captain,â you huffed, batting your eyes up at your husband, your hands wrapping around Steveâs strong forearm and trying to shove his hand deeper between your thighs.Â
But Steve was having none of it. He pulled away from your pussy, gathering your wrists in his big hand and pinned them to the bed above your head. The move had his big body covering yours, but he held himself aloft, making sure you had nothing to grind against while his hips held your thighs open.Â
âAre you sure about that, baby?â Steve asked in a dangerously calm tone.Â
Despite the need pounding insistently in your bloodstream, you couldnât help but rile up your husband even more. So you pursed your lips together and blew him a kiss.Â
Steveâs blue eyes darkened until they were nearly the mean, murky color of the Atlantic Ocean, and he shifted to one side.Â
That was all the warning you got before Steveâs big hand came down between your thighs, giving your pussy a sharp spank.Â
The sting wrenched a shrill sound from your throat, but the pain quickly melted into a burning heat that had your hips squirming and your legs flailing. Your calves curled around Steveâs legs in an attempt to draw him back between your thighs.Â
âDaddy, please,â you cried, a sob of pleasure falling from your lips while Steve rubbed your pussy, making a mess of your slit as you leaked through your panties and into his hand.
âWhat was that, baby?â Steve asked mockingly, watching you squirm beneath him with a glint in his eye that made it clear youâd pushed him to the point of no return. âSomething about you thinking you could brat your way into getting a baby in your belly?âÂ
Steve pulled his hand away from your pussy and pressed down on your stomach, pinning you to the bed and leaving you to only writhe. He held you like that for a long moment, your legs twisting and hips humping the empty air, until youâd nearly worked yourself up to tears.Â
âDaddy, daddy, please!â Your voice was a pathetic whine, and your eyes were misty as you stared up at your husband. âIâll be good, I promise,â you begged, your lips pursed in a perfect pout. âJust fill me upâplease, please, please, I need it!â
âAh, there she is,â Steve rumbled, his voice switching to a deep, pleased tone instantly. âMy sweet wife, begging so pretty like such a good girl for daddy.â He ducked down and brushed a kiss to your cheek, catching the single tear that had fallen from your eye. âThatâs how pretty girls get what they wantâby asking nicely.â
You grumbled a little, but couldnât help but preen under his sweet kisses and sweeter praise, making Steve chuckle against your skin. He pressed one last kiss to your lips and then he was standing up, grabbing your hips and flipping you onto your stomach with ease.Â
Carefully, he pulled down the zipper of your dress, his fingers skimming along your spine and making you shiver as you pressed your face into the rose petals on the bedspread, inhaling their sweet scent as your husband undressed you.Â
Out of the corner of your eye, you watched Steve lay the dress carefully over the chair in the corner, then he was back, ripping your panties down over your ass and thighs, shoving them in the pocket of his slacks while his other hand curled around your hip.Â
âOn your hands and knees, wife,â Steve ordered in a gruff voice, helping to lift you up into position. His hands made quick work of his belt and fly while you arranged yourself on your hands and knees on the edge of the bed.
Turning your head, you caught Steveâs eye over your shoulder, shooting him a smile while you arched your back and wiggled your hips for him. His blue eyes sparkled with love as he smiled back, but then his gaze dropped to your ass and he bit back a groan.Â
Your husband ran his hands appreciatively up your thighs, then down your sides, reaching around to your front to grope your tits while he pressed kisses along your spine. You arched into his touch, letting out a needy whine when he plucked and pinched your nipples in just the way you liked.
âYouâre so fucking pretty, baby,â Steve murmured into your skin, making you shiver at the depth of emotion in his tone. âLooked so gorgeous dolled up for our Valentineâs date tonight,â he said, sinking his teeth carefully into the curve of your shoulder, making you moan and melt further beneath his talented mouth. âBut Iâll always love seeing you naked and begging for my cock.â
âThank you, daddy,â you said sweetly, pushing your hips back into Steveâs lap and feeling his cock slip between your thighs. Your legs were already a mess with your arousal and you could feel your dripping heat coating the hard length of him as he thrust lazily between your thighs. âMay I have your cock nowâpretty please?â
The sweetness in your tone made Steve chuckle against your shoulder blade. But he grabbed his cock and rubbed the tip up and down your wet slit, teasing your tight little hole with everything you wanted.Â
âLook at you,â he cooed teasingly, and you could hear the self-satisfied smirk in his tone. âSuch a good, sweet girl when you ask nicely.â He pushed the crown of his cock into your hole before pulling out, making your whole body shiver with need as a whine worked its way up your throat. âTell daddy how bad you want my cock, baby.â
âSooo bad, daddy,â you wailed, trying to push back on Steveâs hard length. But he held your hip in a tight grip, making sure you only got the tip of his cock. âI want it so badâmore than chocolate, more than champagne, more than anything, daddy, please!â
âGood girl, such a good girl for your husband,â Steve purred, sliding inside your dripping cunt and filling you up with one firm stroke.
The feeling of him filling you up after teasing you for so long, his thick cock stretching you out so perfectly, wrung a delighted sob from your lips. You buried your face in the rose petals and blankets as you cried at the pleasure rolling through your body in waves.Â
Steve gave you a long moment to adjust to his cock, and then his hand was wrapping around the front of your neck and he was lifting your body until your back was to his chest. The position forced his cock even deeper inside your pussy and you moaned loudly, your hands grabbing Steveâs thick thighs for something to hold onto.
âOpen your eyes, pretty baby,â Steve cooed in your ear.
As soon as you did, your eyes were met with the sight of your body framed by your husbandâs larger form and you realized there was a mirror hanging over the head of the bed. It gave you a perfect view of your pussy impaled on your husbandâs cock, your tits bouncing as you breathed heavily.
Your entire, naked body was on display, and behind you stood Steve. He still wore the light blue shirt heâd donned for dinner, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, and his dark slacks were pushed down his thighs only far enough to free his cock. His strong, golden arms were holding you pinned to his chest, one hand curving possessively around your throat while the other banded around your middle beneath your tits.
Your husbandâs blue eyes were sparkling with a possessive hunger as he caught your gaze in the mirror.Â
âAll mine.â
Steveâs voice was little more than a growl in your ear, the possessiveness trickling down your spine and settling in your belly only adding to the heat in your core. In the mirror, you could see the place where his cock split you open, where his hand was holding your throat in a dominating grip, and your pussy gushed with even more arousal.Â
âYouâre all mine, wife,â Steve said again, catching your eye in the mirror and letting you see the depth of the devotion burning in his gaze. âNow and forever.â
His words made you sink deeper into his grip, a pleased smile curling your lips as your hands reached for him. One gripped his strong thigh, nails digging into his golden skin hard enough to make his hips stutter with an instinctive thrust. The fingers of your other hand slid into the blond hair at the back of Steveâs head, curling in the strands and yanking on them just enough to make your husbandâs eyes flash in the mirror.
âAnd youâre all mine, husband, now and forever,â you purred in return, echoing his words and enjoying the way Steveâs cock twitched deep in your cunt at the depth of the possessiveness in your tone. It was enough to make you smirk, the brattiness youâd felt earlier in the evening coming back to the surface. âNow, be a good husband and put a baby in your wifeâs belly, captain.â
You barely had the chance to shoot your husband a playful wink before his eyes darkened, his pupils blowing wide and blotting out the blue of his irises. Steve let out a furious growl, his face contorting with determination as he started bouncing you on his cock, using his firm grip on your throat and body to lift you up and slam you down on his hard length.
âYouâre going to regret that, wife,â he snarled in your ear, his fingers digging into the sides of your throat while he fucked you. âIâm going to use your body like my own personal fucktoy, and then maybe youâll get my cumâif you can show me you can be a good girl and take my cock.â
Your husband looked so fierce in the mirror over the bed, fucking you hard and fast and giving you every inch of his cock over and over and over again. Still, you couldnât help but be a little menace, torturing both of you so you could get everything you wanted.
âHarder, daddy,â you whined, your nails digging deeper into Steveâs thigh, feeling his muscles working beneath your fingertips as he thrust into you hard enough that the sound of his skin slapping against yours met your ears. âChoke me harder.â
âBratty, perfect girl,â Steve muttered, choking you harder as he fucked you, his fingers digging into the sides of your neck and making pleasure swim across your vision.
It wasnât long before you were close to the edge of your release, moans and pleading whimpers spilling freely from your lips. You clung to Steve desperately, your hips pushing back to meet his thrusts, but the closer you got, the more he slowed.
Just when you were about to tip over the edge, Steve stopped entirely. He yanked you down on his cock until you were impaled so thoroughly, you swore you could feel him in your guts. Then he dropped the hand not wrapped around your throat to your pussy.
âIf you want my seed, baby, youâre gonna cum from getting your clit spanked, dâyou hear me?â Steve growled in your ear, his blue eyes glittering and dark in the mirror as you caught his eye.
A whining sound of protest fell from your lips, and Steve waited a beat, but you didnât voice your safe word. You knew your husband would stop immediately if you said the word youâd established years ago, but you didnât really want him to stop.
Steve chuckled against your cheek, swatting your clit with the flat of his fingers, making you cry out and squirm in his hold. He adjusted his grip, his hand around your throat pinning you to his chest while he tapped teasingly against your clit.Â
âYouâll be a good girl for daddy, wonât you, baby?â he cooed mockingly, smacking your clit a little harder and chuckling when your whole body jerked in his hold. But you were no match for his super-soldier strength, so all you could do was sit on his cock and take it, whimpers and moans falling mindlessly from your lips. âOf course you will,â he murmured darkly in your ear. âBecause you want daddy to knock you up, donât you, baby?â
A feral little kitten snarl tore from your mouth at the condescension in his tone, but still you didnât stop him. Steve was stubborn and you knew you were going to cum from him spanking your pussy simply because he had the sheer determination to make it happenâand because he knew exactly how to work your body, how to walk the line of pleasure and pain until you were seeing stars.
Steve rocked into you with his hips, grinding his cock deep into your cunt, and spanked your clit sharply, making you cry out and convulse in his arms. But that damn super-soldier strength meant you werenât going anywhere.
After five spanks, you lost count, but thankfully, you came not long after.Â
Your release rushed over you suddenly, dragging you over the edge kicking and screaming, the stinging pain of Steveâs spanking hand washed away in a deluge of burning, all-consuming pleasure. It was the most intense orgasm of your life, and you screamed your release into the hotel room, your body tightening and your nails digging so hard into Steveâs forearm, you thought you might draw blood.
While you were in the throes of pleasure, you heard Steve grunt and groan behind you. His arms tightened around your body and his hips pressed flush to your ass as he buried himself as deep in you as possible. Then you felt the telltale twitching of his cock, and knew he was spilling his seed deep in your cunt, flooding your womb with his cum.
The two of you rode out your releases together, gasping and clinging to each other as you eked out every ounce of pleasure from your bodies. Before you collapse into a puddle among the rose petals, Steve gathered you up in his arms and climbed into the bed, laying you down in the center with his body behind you, holding you close.Â
He managed to make sure his cock didnât pull out of your still fluttering channel and you sighed in reliefâyou didnât want him slipping out of you for the rest of the night. You wanted him plugging you full and making sure his seed would take in your womb.
âThat was fun,â you murmured, reaching back and tugging on Steveâs hair until your mouth found his for a kiss. It was a little clumsy, but you could feel Steveâs smile against your lips, so it was perfect. âI love it when you get all mean with me,â you whispered against his mouth, unable to stop yourself from grinning.
Steveâs cheeks pinked and he kissed you more tenderly. âI didnât hurt you, did I?â he asked softly, his fingers smoothing gently down either side of your neck, watching your face carefully for any flinches of pain.Â
âNo, Iâm ok,â you assured him, waiting patiently while he insisted on kissing every spot where his fingers had dug into your neck when heâd choked you.Â
âGood,â he said on a relieved sigh, burying his face in your neck. His hand slid down your front, laying possessively over your belly. âBecause youâre going to need to take more of my cum if weâre going to make sure youâre knocked up tonight, wife.â
A giggle slipped from your lips and you wiggled your ass back into Steveâs lap, feeling him growing hard again inside you. âGimme all ya got, captain,â you shot back over your shoulder, catching Steveâs eye and giving him a playful smirk.
For the rest of the evening, you and Steve stayed in that hotel room bed, mussing the blankets and sending rose petals flying as you made love over and over again like you couldnât get enough of each otherâwhich you couldnât. Youâd never get enough of the feeling of Steveâs cock pumping you full of cum, and heâd never get enough of your sweet sounds while your pussy clenched down greedily on his hard length.
By the time you were too exhausted to move, youâd lost count of how many loads of cum Steve had filled you with, but you were hopeful that his seed would take and your belly would grow with his child. You were cooing deliriously to your cum-filled stomach while Steve carried you to the bathroom and cleaned you up.Â
When the two of you made it back to the bed, slipping beneath the sheets and not caring when you found some rose petals had made it into the bed, you were half asleep. You curled up into Steveâs side and tried to drift offâŠ
But, even though youâd had enough orgasms that it shouldâve been easy to fall asleep, you couldnât seem to get comfortable in the hotel room bed. The pillows were too lumpy and the sheets were too scratchy, and even with your nose pressed into Steveâs bare skin, the room smelled too different from home.Â
After a few minutes of your restless body squirming against his, Steve chuckled and brushed a kiss to your forehead.Â
âDo you wanna go home, baby?â he asked softly, humor and affection thick in his tone. âSleep in our own bed?â
âYeah,â you said on a sigh, giving up the fight to fall asleep and lifting your head to look at your husband. Even in the dark of the hotel room, you could see his eyes glittering with love and you felt suddenly guilty, hiding your face in his chest. âIâm sorryâyou got us this nice hotel room for the whole night, but I canât sleep here.â
âThatâs alright, baby,â Steve assured you, running his hand soothingly up and down your spine. âWe got plenty of use out of it,â he said, laughing softly to himself. Then he wrapped his arms around you and lifted you from the bed, placing you carefully on your feet. âDonât you think?â he asked playfully.Â
Steve turned on the light and you looked around at the completely destroyed room. There were rose petals everywhere and the blankets on the bed were mussed beyond recognition, the pillows strewn haphazardly up and down the mattress. It gave you a small flicker of pride to see how thoroughly youâd used the bed with your husband and you grinned at him.
âYeah, I think we did.â
As quickly as you could manage, you and Steve dressed and made your way to the door. There, Steve had to wrench it open, confirming your suspicions that heâd broken the lock earlier when he couldnât get the key card out of his jacket pocket.Â
At the front desk, Steve reported the damage and told the clerk to charge his card for the repairs while you tried to muffle your giggles in the back of his suit jacket.Â
When he was done checking out, Steve laced his fingers with yours and pulled you toward the parking garage, both of you tryingâand failingâto stifle your laughter.Â
It was late when you leaned against Steveâs side as he unlocked the front door of the brownstone the two of you called home. You toed out of your shoes as soon as you were inside, leaving them by the door as you followed the low, warm light filtering out of the living room.
You padded around to the front of the couch, grabbing the remote for the TV and flicking it off before stopping and taking in the sight in front of you. Steve walked up behind you and slid his arms around your waist, his chin coming to rest on your shoulder as the two of you stared down at the couch.
âYour friends are terrible babysitters,â you whispered, cutting a look at Steve out of the corner of your eye, which only made him snort softly. The sound tickled your skin and sent a small shiver racing down your spine.
âWhat can I say, our little sweet pea has them wrapped around her fingers,â he responded easily, brushing a kiss to your cheek before unraveling himself from around your body and moving toward the couch.
Bucky Barnes and Sam Wilson were both asleep on the couch, their heads lolling against the back and loud snores spilling from their mouths. Between them, your daughter was snuggled in her favorite blanket, which wouldâve been adorable if it wasnât so many hours past her bedtime.
âPapa?â your daughter murmured sleepily as Steve gathered her up in his arms, blanket and all, tucking her in close to his chest while her little arms wound around his neck. âWan sleep wif you and mama,â she whispered before burying her little face in your husbandâs collarbone.
âShe refused to go to bed until you got home,â Sam said gruffly from the couch, where he was waking. He covered his mouth with a fist while he yawned, his other hand pushing at Buckyâs shoulder, but the super-soldier ducked out of the way with a grumpy grunt.Â
âWe all know where she gets that stubbornness from, donât we?â he grumbled, shooting you a wink and cutting his head toward Steve, who was heading in the direction of the stairs leading up to the second floor of the brownstone.Â
You muffled a snort into your palm and Steve cut you a look over his shoulder that only made you laugh louder.Â
âOh, she definitely gets it from me,â you said innocently, shooting your husband a wink as you turned back to his friends, who were standing and gathering their things. âThanks for watching her.â
âAnytime,â Sam said, giving you a hug. Bucky echoed his sentiment and hugged you as well before the two of them saw themselves out.
You turned off the lights on the lower level, then followed Steve upstairs to your bedroom. Heâd already tucked your daughter into the middle of your bed and was in the closet changing into his pajamas. The two of you shared a few sleepy kisses as you changed, then you slipped into bed, snuggling your daughter together.Â
Before the three of you fell asleep, Steve whispered sleepily, âHow do you feel about having a little brother or sister, sweet pea?â
âWant it, papa,â she huffed softly, and you couldnât help but kiss her little head as affection and love surged in your heart.Â
Steve caught your eye over your daughterâs head and he shot you a wink. âMore than chocolate?â he asked, but his only answer was your daughterâs light snoring.Â
You and your husband giggled silently and you reached for his hand, your fingers tangling together as your eyelids drooped. You fell asleep within seconds, a smile on your face as you were surrounded by love, delighted by the idea of adding another person to your little family.Â
You wanted it more the chocolate, more than champagne, more than anything, to grow your family with your husband, Steve Rogersâand youâd get exactly that. Nine months after Valentineâs Day.Â
sweethearts game masterlist
#steve rogers#steve rogers fanfiction#steve rogers smut#steve rogers x reader#steve rogers x you#steve rogers au#steve rogers fic#steve rogers fanfic#chris evans#chris evans fanfiction#chris evans smut#chris evans characters#witchywithwhiskey's sweethearts#witchywithwhiskeywork#biteofcherry
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sophia x reader where the reader has trouble opening up emotionally and letting off steam, ends up getting overwhelmed and Sophia helps her with that
ouuu man spohia will def realise when u have trouble with your emotions and added stress. she knows you best, being able to tell when you slowly get closer to becoming too stressed out. the smallest things like being more fidgety as the days go by, being more frustrated easily, when the smallest inconvinience like the lift door closing too slowly can get you worked up and you seem more reserved, spending lesser time talking with her. she becomes more attentive and caring when with you, talking in a softer tone, bring your favourite food home or just cuddling and sweetly cooing praises n i love yous before going to bed. she never pushes and asks what wrong, she waits until you feel comfortable to tell her on your own and if you dont she doesnt mind either. and when you do become too overwhelmed and let your emotions go at once, shes always there for you, offering hugs, kisses and comfort as you frustatedly output all the emotions you have been feeling lately. she always listens with rapt attention, never once leaving you. after it all she spends the rest of the day with you watching your favourtie show while eating ice cream and cuddling you close her as she plays with your hair. before the two of you sleep you tell her how thankful you are for her and how much you love her. she always answers with "ofc my love, ill b here for u forever"
my god i need spoh as my gf so bad :((((
#katseye#katseye sophia#sophia laforteza#sophia laforteza x reader#sophia thoughts!#itzkatflixsworks#first drabble ask omg!#ty anon for askingg
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Could you please do a Mike Franks with prompt 15. âI fell for a boy who could never ever let me walk home that way 'Cause you gotta be safeâ?
Tagging: @kmc1989 @ilovemark1951 @love-affair-with-fandoms @clarasmoon @star017
Prequel to:
Life Lessons (NSFW) - Mike and you don't play the games other couples do.
Count To Five (NSFW) - Mike comes home to a naked woman in his bed.
Pool House (NSFW) - You and Mike steal a moment alone at the LA Law Enforcement Conference.
Shirt (NSFW) - Mike turns up to a crime scene to find you wearing his shirt.
Love Is A Strong Word - Mike confesses his feelings after a disagreement.
Baggage - You confront Mike after he says another woman's name in his sleep.
The Written Word - Mike's world is turned upside down when he discovers a letter written by Violet before her death.
The Way of the World - There's a reason Mike's been teaching you all those life lessons.
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There has always been chemistry between you and Mike, right from the first moment he stepped into one of his crime scenes and discovered the old NIS liaison Barry Gilford had been replaced.
Truthfully he wasnât sad to see him go, the position was a power game to that asshole. Heâd withhold support or information, using it instead as a bargaining chip. You are much more amenable and if heâs honest a lot easier on the eyes too.
Over the months he starts to like you, really like you. You used to be a master of arms before you left the Navy because it was too structured, you have your own C.Is youâve cultivated from that time and an insight into the inner workings of the military that comes in handy on his cases. Youâre smart too and wicked funny, the kind of humour that makes him laugh despite the gruff front he tries to enforce. You give him a run for his money and Mike, he hasnât experienced someone who can do that, not for a long time.
It comes to a head over drinks. The team are celebrating the closure of one of their cases, heâd invited you along because without your invaluable expertise theyâd still be dead in the water. It starts with the accidental nudge of his knee against yours under the table, he tilts his head to apologise but you have that look in your eyes.
Mike, he knows when a womanâs attracted to him, he can feel it on a visceral level.
Next itâs his arm around the back of your chair, an invitation you take to shift closer. The scent of your perfume floods his senses, something light and floral that reminds him of Texas in the spring. He drinks it in as his thumb traces a light pattern across your shoulder. Your hand comes to rest on his thigh and it feels like electric dancing under his skin as your fingers trail up the inner seam of his jeans. He spends the next thirty minutes struggling to follow the conversation as he adjusts the woody in his pants.
When he offers to walk you home you both know where this is heading, all that tension, all that build up, it feels like heâs about to combust as you link your arm through his, setting off into the night.
âSo now youâve walked me home, whatâs next?â You ask as you stand on the doorstep toying with the keys in your hand.
You look so tantalizing in the glow from the street lamp, teeth biting your lower lip as you look up at him through those dark lashes of yours.
âI should take myself home like a good boy.â Mike says, his voice rough as his hands coming to rest on your hips as you lean in close.
âBut youâre not a good boy are you Mike?â You tease, your fingertips chasing over the buttons of his shirt.
âNo.â He says, his mouth brushing over yours. âNo I ainât.â
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An EPIC Oneshot
There are other ways~
(Slight spicy implications warning)
"-Everyone's true colors are revealed in acts of lust"
"I'm not sure if I follow."
The doors of the bedroom trapped Odysseus inside with her, he suddenly felt immensely vulnerable despite having his sword out in his pointing at his witchy foe he still felt wrong...
"There are ways of persuasion.. there are other modes of control~"
Circe smiled smugly, she snapped her fingers magically making her hair longer and making her dress very thin. She lowered Odysseus' sword and gripped his hands making Odysseus feel more uncomfortable. Lack of confidence or control.
"Awh, you have so much left to learn~"
"What.. Wh-what are you..."
Why..Why am I shaking so much?
The seductive enchantress got up in his face making his uneasiness feel worse making him, feel hot and sweat. She wrapped her arms around his neck, "trapping" him making only look at her and only her.
"Want to save your men from the fire, show me what you're willing to burn~"
She lifted the miserable man's head making him face her once more, eye-to-eye. She pulled him making the two of them head towards a nearby bed. Circe falls fluidly on the bed as Odysseus pins her down, his hands start to tremble as Circe slowly made pulls one of his hand and puts it on her chest.
What am I doing?? I can't do this! I can't do THIS!
At this point he knew what she wanted, but he didn't want to given into her demands he wanted to back away or run away but he couldn't if he really wanted to save his comrades. His mind starts to spiral up as he started to think about her
Penelope I'm so sorry!
How would his wife think of this? What would she think of him killing a innocent infant, How would she react to learning that half of his comrades and best friend were killed by a Cyclops, how would she react to some of them also drowning to their deaths? And especially now how would she feel about him sleeping with this enchanted mistress?
2
His thoughts starts twisting inside him, pretty much breaking him as he tries to the resistance to cry or show even more vulnerability than he already has. But his vision of his already trembled hands start to blur as tears start to fall, his breathing starts to become more slightly rapid than before..
He needed to leave now. But this is the only way to get through her right?
"Awh what's the matter, don't be afraid it's okay. You can always go slow if you want to."
"I... C..an't I don't...(Sniffles) Why...why are you doing.... Why am I d-doing..."
He was choking on his own tears to properly get a word out or aloud considering that every word he said was just very quiet painful moans
Despite Circe being the one more "restrained" Odysseus felt more like he was the one getting pinned down and pretty much tortured by this uneasy tension though there wasn't much happening except Odysseus repeatedly gripping Circe's arms and placing his hands on his her stomach trying his best to avoid her torso
STOP...! Stop shaking! WHY can't I stop shaking what's wrong with me?!
"P-please... I.. I NEED to... Too... N-no..! I..."
"C'mon you~ Don't tell me that you're afraid of a woman"
"N-no... No I...I..."
He couldn't do this... He can't do this, he couldn't betray his wife like this..
"I CAN'T!"
He screamed, jolted off of the bed no longer "restraining" himself on top of Circe. Odysseus looked at his hands still shaking but, not as badly as they were before also realizing that his hands were cold and wet covered with his tears.
Circe's ears went down as she watched Odysseus cover his mouth and hold his stomach
"By the gods, I feel sick..."
He mumbled to himself as he started pacing around the room and suddenly vomits on the floor
"Ahh...hah... Hnngg...my chest hurts.."
Odysseus glared at his sword for what felt minutes slowly calming down and putting himself together and tried to wipe the pathetic tears though, they continued to fall down his face. He sighed
3
"Back at home my wife awaits she's my everything.. My Penelope, she's my motivation for everything she's all of my power, my only purpose but it's been 12 long years"
He starts to scream and wail and covers his face
"AHHH 12 LONG YEARS SINCE I HAVE SEEN MY WIFE!! AND... And now the god of tides is out to kill me.... It's too much to handle it... it's so much ache so please... I beg you Circe please grant us mercy and let us puppets leave.... Please!"
He was on his knees bowing down to her, he felt so pathetic and helpless
Circe at first atleast what it looked like from her facial expressions, she didn't seem to care.. but now, she seemed to be empathizing him as she sighs heavily
"Poseidon you say... Hmm..you know I now about that blue blobfish too... Congrats... Old mortal"
"What...(Sniffles)what are you... GHHN--"
Unexpectedly, he felt a sudden sting in his eyes as she gently wiped his tears away
"You know, I know what's it's like to love before..."
"Come... Let's try to get you out of here"
"Wait..wait you're helping us?"
"Look, I might not be able to get you back home properly but I know someone, a prophet but he's dead."
"...what?"
Odysseus felt his heart sink a little bit from that last sentence, he was still slightly startled from she did to him.. Circe grabbed some small and medium potion bottles and opened a curtain to revealing a bunch of animal pens almost like a farm but the one that caught Ody's attention was the pig pen
"Despite the prophet being dead, I can take you to the underworld to see him"
Within the cunning witch's directions she, throws the held potions onto the pigs transforming the swine into men
The men cheered in enjoyment loudly, as they all headed towards the boat captain Odysseus bows once more to Circe but not out of pity and desperation but as a way to thank her
Euryrlochus walks by to check if the captain was okay.. The captain gleefully noded, and confidently smiled
Take this as a Valentine's day special thingy I guess lol
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![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/305721f3c42f497d49839cd13a2ab7c3/e6f1314b200accda-9d/s540x810/d0d0787d27fafc80d52d9d151781c969ca78a3ac.jpg)
Chapter 10
A/N: Happy Valentineâs Day to all my lovely readers
Summary: When Jensen admits to going home with someone else, will his and Y/N's marriage survive?
Warnings: Angst, heartbreak, smut, language
After much discussion, the Acklesâ use the settlement check they received from the case to make a sizable donation to an outreach program for underprivileged pregnant girls and women.
That night, Jensen and Y/N rekindle their relationship, confirming their commitment and loyalty to one another.Â
Jensen slowly and carefully lays Y/N on the bed, breaking the kiss only when he knew she was comfortable.Â
He stretches his long body beside her and revertantly continues exploring her body as if it's all brand new to him.
His touch is gentle and affectionate and he runs his finger across her collarbone all the way to her shoulder, devoting every inch to his memory, again.
Y/N shivers, the tenderness of his touch both thrills and is titillating.
He leans in and captures her lips, running his tongue across the seam of her lips. She willingly parts and invites him in to deepen the kiss.
Jensen's hand finds her bra-covered breast and caresses it before pulling the cup down to tease the nipple into a stiff peak. He repeats his action on the other side before he draws his lips from her to kiss down her chest until he can pull her left nipple into his mouth.
âJensen,â Y/N whispers as her head rolls back.Â
âI love you Y/N,â he mumbles against her skin. âYou are the only one for me.â
As he continues to nurse on her breast, his hand travels down her torso and across her abdomen, stopping at the hem of her panties.
He looks up at her through his lashes, a silent request to proceed. She grants it with a silent nod and a smile and he offers her a smile of his own.
When his fingers come in contact with her folds, she whimpers and whines. Jensen doesn't breach but just runs his fingers up and down her slit.
Once Y/N is writhing under his ministrations he quickly finds her entrance and finally pushes in. A finger slowly enters her and she gasps.
âF-fuuu-â she sighs.Â
Jensen adds another and another until he is sure she is prepared for him. He removes his hand from her panties and rolls off the bed.
As he pulls his boxers off, Y/N removes her bra and then pushes her panties to her feet, then flings them to the floor.Â
Jensen steps to the foot of the bed, crawling onto the mattress and between her open thighs.
âYou are the only woman I ever want to be buried in,â he says as he holds her stare while lining himself up and pushes home.
They both groan as he bottoms out and stills for her to adapt. Once there is no more pain, she clenches around him- an unspoken assent for him to move.
Pulling out and pushing back in, Jensen sets a languid and leisurely pace. It builds them both slowly, higher and higher until there is nowhere left to go but over.
As Y/N clutches and trembles around him, he continues his smooth, tranquil thrusts, resting his forehead to hers, green eyes meeting Y/E/C ones.
Jensen feels his end nearing and claims her lips in a sensual, loving kiss as he explodes inside her, his seed painting her walls.
Once their breathing has normalized, he pulls out and crawls backward off the bed, then heads to the ensuite to clean up and bring a warm rag to clean Y/N.
After making sure she is wiped off, he climbs into the bed beside her, gathering her into his arms.
âI'm so sorry we had to go through this shit. I can't lose you; I couldn't imagine my life without you in it.â
Y/N lifts her head from his shoulder and gazes at his profile. âShhh. It's all over now and I'm not going anywhere.â
They both doze off to sleep, knowing that their love is stronger than it ever has been.Â
One year later
Y/N rushes home, although her stomach is in knots and she has the urge to cry.
Today, Jensen is flying home for his summer hiatus from filming. For three whole months, Y/N will have her husband in the flesh, to touch and kiss and make love to; no screen between them.Â
All they have been through, the two babies they lost and still mourn for and the false claims of an affair and an illegitimate child has not afflicted their marriage, only made it stronger and valued.
The morning has turned out better than she could have ever imagined and she is excited to share it with her husband.
Pulling into the garage, Y/N parks and shuts off the engine and stares at the door to their storage room. She has a plan and she is determined to bring it to fruition.
Opening the door, she reaches in the backseat for the bag back there. Y/N hums as she gets about getting everything in place.Â
Once everything is situated to how she envisioned it, she goes to the front of the house to await her husband's return.Â
Jensen had texted her a while ago to let her know they had landed and would be home soon.
Her heart is beating wildly and when she sees the black SUV carrying Jensen and his costar, Jared, sheâs sure it was going to beat out of her chest.
Y/N watches as the passenger door opens and him to step out of the vehicle. He looks toward the house and then back inside the cab and says something then laughs.
Closing the door, he waves and then hoists his duffel bag onto his shoulder.Â
Y/N can't take it anymore and opens the front door, running to jump into his arms. She kisses his lips repeatedly, running her fingers through his hair.
âI've missed you.â
âReally? I couldn't tell,â Jensen sasses with a smirk.
âShut up,â Y/N laughs and then takes his hand and turns, pulling him into their home.Â
âI have a surprise for you,â she announces. âFollow me.â
Jensen smiles as he does what heâs told and when Y/N opens the door to the one room they haven't talked about for a while, his eyes widen and his mouth drops open.
He looks at his wife and asks, âReally?â
She only nods with tears in her eyes.
Inside the nursery is the crib that theyâd taken down after the last loss and handing on a hanger above it is a onesie that reads âWelcome Home Daddy!â
The doctor put Y/N on bedrest after week 26 of her pregnancy and the Acklesâ had weekly appointments to monitor the progression of the pregnancy. Neither of them complained or grumbled about it.
They were happy and excited to announce to the world.
On August 26, Angel Mischelle Ackles is born. They chose the name Angel for their two angel babies and Mischelle for Misha because he helped them when they needed it most.
THE END
@spnbaby-67 @sea040561 @delightfullykrispypeach @larajadeschmidt13 @atc74 @vicariouslythruspn @squirrelnotsam  @ironreviewangel @blacktithe7 @hoboal87 @mogaruke @supraveng @lyarr24 @kazsrm67 @chriszgirl92 @deanwithscissors @raisinggray @fanfic-n-tabulous @hobby27 @stoneyggirl2 @purpleeclipseeggsland @kmc1989 @leigh70 @nancymcl @muhahaha303 @justwhisperingfantasies @jackles010378 @monkey-d-hoshizora98 @deanna45 @ozwriterchick @mandee7 @spnaquakindgdom @impala67rollingthroughtown @generalmoonpolice @1313diana @roseblue373 @palerogue1 @deansimpalababy @queen-cs
#supernatural rpf#spn rpf#jensen ackles#jensen x wife!reader#angst#cheating#heartbreak#fix it#jared padalecki#cliff kosterman#misha collins#smut
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No. 19 please!
Send me a prompt
19. The first aid kit is empty
Audrey Hall did not swear, except on occasions that really, really deserved it. âBloody hell,â she muttered now. Very literal blood poured from the deep cut on the palm of her hand, and the first aid kit was empty.
She should have known better. She castigated her past self for not having checked it before she left. She knew that the boys dug into it on occasion, though ransacked would be a better term for what theyâd done to it this time. There was nothing left aside from one solitary safety pin.
How stupid sheâd been to cut her hand on the barbed fence, though, in her defence, it was so dark and her torch so ineffectual that she could barely see anything.
The adrenaline was wearing off now and her hand was starting to hurt, a lot. Thinking quickly, she shrugged off her jacket and fumbled, one-handed, at her shirt buttons. She was getting blood everywhere, and tried to ignore it. Finally, her shirt was off and she was standing in bra and skirt by the side of the road. Nobody was likely to come past at this time and spot her, at least.
Between teeth and her one working hand, she managed to tear the seams of the shirt open. With her previously smart shirt torn into pieces, she wrapped one around her cut hand carefully, then layered another over the top. She tied a knot and used her teeth to tug it tight. The relief was immediate and she sagged gratefully. Carefully, she put on her jacket, managed to button it up, and tucked the remnants of her shirt into her pocket.
She climbed onto her bicycle and when she held the handlebars, pain bit into her injured hand. She gritted her teeth. Sheâd never cycled one-handed before, but sheâd have to manage it now. She set off, wobbling, but managed to get her balance and pressed on for home.
She made it to Skeldale without having seen anyone, for which she was extremely thankful, given her state of undress.
Sheâd had to stop on the way back to wrap another length of shirt around her hand. It was still bleeding and increasingly painful. She couldnât wait to get in, find her proper bandages, give the wound a good clean and then take herself to bed and sleep.
Mr Farnon was sitting at the kitchen table, pipe in mouth, paper held in front of him. He dropped both as she came through the door.
âMrs Hall!â he exclaimed, jumping up. âWhatever has happened?â
Audrey stared at him for a moment, and then slumped thankfully into a chair. âHurt my hand,â she murmured. He glanced at the hand that she held out, took in the state of her in one quick look.
âIâll get my kit,â he said, and hurried out.
She sat quietly waiting for him. She hadnât known quite how much sheâd needed to be looked after until sheâd walked into the kitchen and seen him there.
He was back in a moment, clutching his own first aid kit, and sat down next to her.
âMay I?â
She nodded, and he took her hand tentatively. Unwound the bloody bandages carefully.
The wound came into sight and he winced. âVery nasty.â He poured out some cleaning solution onto a cloth and she hissed at the sting. âIâm sorry my dear,â he said. âIt needs cleaning.â
âI know.â
âWhat â um â why did you use your shirt?â he asked as he worked carefully.
âMy first aid kit was empty,â she said. âForgot to check it before I left.â
âAh.â
His hands were so gentle and she could almost relax into the touch. Finally, the wound was cleaned to his satisfaction and he wound a clean, proper bandage around her hand, knotted it tightly.
âThere,â he said, cradling her hand in his. âAll better. Well. Somewhat better.â His thumb stroked over hers. âHow did you manage it?â
âBarbed wire on a fence,â she admitted ruefully. He was still stroking her thumb and she didnât want him to stop.
âYouâre going to have to be careful with it for a few days. Donât get it wet.â
âMy choresâŠâ
âIâm sure Tristan and Carmody can manage the washing up,â he said cheerfully.
âAnd the laundry?â She looked at him sceptically.
He rubbed his chin. âWeâll find a way,â he said eventually.
He studied her for a moment and she blushed. âWhat is it?â
âYouâre getting some colour back. You gave me a fright, staggering through the door with bloody bandages around your hand.â
âIâm feeling better now.â Because of him. âItâs nice to be looked after,â she admitted, and was rewarded with a glowing smile.
âYou look after me â all of us â so well. Itâs about time I returned the favour. Now,â he put her hand down carefully, âitâs well past our bedtimes and you need a good sleep. Iâll check your hand tomorrow, but in the mean time, Mrs HallâŠâ He met her eyes for a moment and her breath caught at the intensity of his gaze. Then in a sudden motion, he leant forward and pressed his lips to her forehead in an unexpected, soft, lovely kiss. He drew back, pink staining his cheeks. âGoodnight, my dear.â
The pain in her hand was almost forgotten as she watched him hurry away. âGoodnight, Mr Farnon,â she called quietly after him.
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also. im officially halfway through the week to getting my drains out (and seeing my chest!!) <3 weâre Getting There
#just gotta get thru Saturday and Sunday#and then Monday they come out <3#and then i can go home! and sleep in my own bed.#no slight to my mom at all though sheâs been taking really good care of me. extremely patient and gracious and supportive.#which i will appreciate for the rest of my life.#i just miss my bedroom.#izzy.txt
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i hope youâre safe in your line of work. iâm sure itâs very difficult work and dangerous. itâs also very hot and sexy that youâre a firefighter so itâs really cool that youâre so brave
Well I'm still not dead so that's safe enough I guess lmao but this shit keeps dragging on, like it's crazy đ the work usually isn't too bad when we're not on incidents tho, like it's mainly just training and playing in the dirt ahdkaksk it's not as cool and sexy as you think it is unfortunately đ but I like to pretend it is and I have fun for the most part so that's all that really matters tbh lmao
#not snz#it's so sad seeing some of y'all with firefighter fantasies#and knowing we would crush y'all's dreams if you ever saw the things we actually do and how we actually act đ#like i wish i was cool and sexy when i work but alas i am but a crusty little gremlin#also almost every single guy i work with is fucking disgusting in some way lmao#like the lack of hand washing is honestly appalling#tho by snz standards some of the shit that happens is actually hot lmao#shoutout to the one person in my dms who gets most of my stupid little fire stories đ#anyway i am guilty of making exciting/horrifying things happen to my little ff ocs for funsies#but irl for me it's not that interesting ahdakksks like sometimes things happen but generally no and they're not that crazy#i mean i guess it's crazy rn but overall no#anyway ahdkaks#guess who's on night watch again lmao âïž#they better fucking let me go home tomorrow tho bc i made plans#i wanna see the bestie đ„ș#i think it'll be fine tho like I'm not supposed to be actually on an assignment#just driving around and checking on other high risk areas#I'm fucking tired tho#and i wanna be held đ#allowing physical affection has absolutely ruined me ahdkaksk like what happened to never wanting to touch anybody ever#oh well đ#anyway holding onto the hope that I'll be sleeping in my own bed tomorrow#i never sleep well even at home bc of the insomnia and it's damn near impossible to sleep anywhere else bc I'm such a light sleeper#so you can imagine i don't sleep out here lmao it's why I'm always on night watch
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yearning for the comfort of home
#catfish speaks#I'm feeling sad and lonely and disconnected#and i think a big part of it is this house sitting ive been doing#it's not my home#not my burrow not my warren not my nest#there's only so many places i can relax and none of them are really Mine#im not in my den and i miss it so much#i think im tired of house sitting for people#i know my friends trust me and need it#and it nice to get paid to jusy feed a cat for a week#but the difference between this year and the last is that last year was an escape from a hellhole#this time its confinement from my home#i don't want to be here#i want to go home#i want to sleep in my own lumpy bed with too much light behind the curtains#i want my own messy kitchen with a roommate that never does the dishes#i want my big windows and my slow tv and my badly designed couch and my fabric shelves and my sewing table#yeah i can bring my laptop and my phone and crocheting with me#i can watch youtube and tv here#but it's not the same and i miss my little den with the art prints on the wall#i miss my tomato plant that's dying#i want to go home again
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nooooo my headphones died and im not done editing my audio
#i know it doesnt take THAT long to charge them#its just that its 3 am#guess i can move on to my art history final paper#while i wait#bc ill probably be pulling an all nighter anyways#norm.allie#THATS THE PLAN#all nighter tonight#finish my paper & video#go to class & then crit#eat & decide if i want to stay and work a little bit on my painting (until like 7) go home and go to bed by like 9?#or if i feel like crap eat and come home and go to bed early#i dont have class until noon wednesday#so even if i sleep in a little bit i should have time to print out my paper#paint after class#radio show.. play an old playlist whatever#i was gonna say head back to the studio to paint bc i dont have class until 3:20 on thursday#but it makes more sense to go to bed#incase i need to pull an all nighter to finish painting after class is done#i doubt i will but who knows#but i can do it#its gonna be a rough week#college owns
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Dog has a swollen lymph node. Just one for now. Which means her cancer is getting worse already. The longer this goes on, the more detached I feel from reality.
#I've been barely eating for over a week now and don't feel it#all the money i have is going towards her. i have enough body fat to survive without eating properly for a while.#but I'm just not hungry because nothing feels real right now#she's been breathing with more difficulty the past couple days too so i know the tumor on her tongue is getting larger#she's been whining so much too. like way more than she ever has.#and the prednisone has increased her appetite by so much that she's eating almost double what she normally would#she's skipped eating in the morning almost her whole life. don't know why. she's just a picky bitch like that.#but now she wants extra food in thd morning and snacks during the day and extra food at night#i was worried her food would go to waste after she died but goddamn#it definitely will be eaten plus some at this rate#she seems so normal. but i know she's getting worse every day and probably just doesn't want to bother me.#that's the worst thing about dogs. they don't want to bother you.#she's so opinionated when it comes to things she wants to eat or play with. but she's never let me know when she was in pain.#the only times she has are emergency vet visit times#like when my ex broke her tail and she kept putting her butt in my face to tell me shit was fucked up#or another time when her gut bacteria somehow got out of whack and she shat bright red blood all over my house#or when she broke a claw so bad it damaged the bone underneath#anything minor and i have to find it on my own#she's extra spoiled right now#i never tell her to stop unless she's doing something potentially dangerous#like yeah. let's sniff that same spot on the same bush you smell 8x a day for ten minutes girl.#you look hungry. have some peanuts or freetos or cotton candy.#you want snacks even though you just had snacks? bitch. have some more.#you want to sleep in my spot on the bed? thats ok. I'll go to the othef sidd where i don't have my cpap. get comfy.#i feel bad denying her anything when i know she only has a set amount of experiences left#there's a finite amount of sniffs she can snorf or food to be fed and i know it's pretty limited.#and then i get days like today where i don't even really start working until the time I'd normally be getting home#and that enrages me like little else can do because it's taking away from time with the only living thing that's real to me#except the longer i have knowing she's dying the less 'here' i feel. which makes her seem less real.#and i hate it. but i deny myself pain by pretending shit isn't real until it isn't. and then there's no more pain.
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yeah I'm not gonna talk abt it am I...
#well thats okay. eventually itll come up naturally. and if not well. it doesnt make me feel very okay. but its not a big deal#and i guess ill meet ppl in the future who will curate a different idea of me and maybe therell be fewer misunderstandings#<- coward who CAN communicate to save their life but not in any lower stakes situation for their happiness n quality of life#we <3 repression n insecurity. maybe if i keep digging at the corner of this bit of the labyrinth with my spoon ill get out someday đ#anyway.. theres my daily vague vent post got it out of my system#wanted to do it earlier but ended up not having much time after work n then called friends which was nice :^)#also i never have signal at work these days.. my boss has said shell get me on the staff wifi tho cuz i do need it for work reasons#its rare to need it for work purposes bc we all use work pcs n stuff anyway and not rly supposed to use mobiles in the lab#but yeahh.. god i have so much admin shit to sort out also gotta text family back before i sleep i forgot to earlier#its all good.. also my memory foam pillows turned up so i no longer have to steal my roomies extra one for my neck pain <3#ik she was missing it... not to sound like a creep but it was nice that it smelled like her a little. just familiar innit#we're always around each other so its just what being home smells like to me.. listen i have a sensitive nose đâïž#if we were a lot closer i would ask if i could sleep in her bed while shes away but we're not so it would come across sooo weird..#and i would feel rly weird abt someone sleeping in my own room without me there. well maybe not actually. as long as they werent snooping#<- guy whose mother used to go thru their shit all the time n struggles to not feel paranoid and distrustful when it comes to privacy#was thinking recently my ideal living situation w a partner would be separate rooms but we still share the bed sometimes#but not every night bc im a sensitive sleeper... but we can switch bedding so i can still smell them if i wake up in the night alone#like how new mothers trying to get babies used to cot sleeping each have a cloth or blanket and swap every night#so the baby is comforted by the blankets smell and sleeps more peacefully.. and momma finds it easier being apart from the baby too#sorry this is getting gooey and weird my meds have been wearing off the last couple hours im so sleeppyyyy đ#well.... maybe everything can wait until tomorrow..... bed is calling..#goodnight everyone muah#.diaries
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okay I severely misjudged spaghetti guy heâs actually just really cool
#okay so I came to this flat and he wasnât here. greeted by a very dirty flat with shit all over the kitchen counters over cling film#I meet first my other flatmate who told me he stays in his room constantly bc of previous bad flatmates#has literally just a saucepan and some salt in the kitchen. so Iâm like okay spaghetti guy potentially not great but could just be#how this guy is yknow#on Tuesday I get an email back saying heâs coming back from Norway tonight looking forward to seeing you feel free to use the kitchen sauces#rlly friendly message that I wasnât expecting. I also didnât know heâd been on a trip i just knew he wasnât there bc his door was open#(to a REALLY nice room. multiple rlly nice plants (which he has little care labels for!!!) and itâs tidy and pretty#and heâs got a sheep teddy on the bed)#meanwhile I am in my own head bc I donât wanna cook in the kitchen until I can clean it and I canât clean it without moving his shit and#I havenât seen him yet to talk abt it and I canât bring myself to talk to him immediately bc Iâm dying#and embarrassed as hell by how Iâve been cooking in my room with a microwave and air fryer (loud) and sneaking my shit out of the kitchen#but then yesterday I DO talk to him!! and heâs super friendly!! actually interested in having a conversation and Good at it.#and then heâs cooking and like. spaghetti burns but Iâm not there for long and seems to be a mistake (he made the same thing for lunch today#and did Not burn the spaghetti) and is otherwise clearly competent bc the food smells Good and despite leaving a few things out itâs like#washed up stuff isnât dirty and the sides are better despite still under cling film. more a case that heâs spread out than heâs messy#and now today we talked and i offered to hold onto some shit over summer bc complicated situation that boils down to heâs flying back home#and he cant take all his stuff and had to choose between chucking stuff/having literally nothing this weekend. like sleeping on the sofa etc#and then cleans the whole flat?? which Iâm assuming a good chunk is his mess? but he did not need to do that. couldâve easily left#bc there are two people still living here who wouldâve had to deal with it and he doesnât know either at all#and THEN tonight we talk abt food which is fun bc we both ordered stuff. and he offers me some honeydew melon bc heâs been gorging himself#these past two days to finish it before it goes bad/he leaves which is also really sweet#and JUST NOW. I take my headphones out after finishing dinner and hear the sweetest fucking guitar#he plays the gentlest like dreamy sounding acoustic guitar Iâve heard in my life in his room (door closed by the time I leave)#this is actually just a really cool dude#now that the kitchens clear Iâm gonna cook tomorrow and will probably offer him some bc otherwise heâs gonna be eating out all weekend#he has extra takeout for tomorrow night but might want smth Sunday#regardless I am just. huh??? left a bit stunned bc of the u turn my opinion of this guy has taken. bc my opinion of him was a reflection#of my discomfort moving to this weird dirty basement flat with two people I didnât know#well. idk where to go from here. I think Iâll start by talking to him more this weekend. bc holy fucking shit.#luke.txt
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I need a bulletpoint list to explain everything that happened on that drive,, hectic af
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love being 25 and not knowing how to socialize bc iâm autistic and off putting and cringe so no one wanted to talk to me/wanted to be my friend growing up so now iâm an adult with very few friends or ppl i talk to on a regular basis bc i never learned how to socialize or text properly bc no one taught me how
#abc shut it#vent#iâm so lonely itâs not even funny#my talking to myself has just gotten worse in the past few months alone#i just want some friends i can do watch parties with and play games with damn it#iâm so bored and lonely all the time#my life has just been work sleep and chores and itâs driving me insane bc i have nothing breaking up the routine#like it doesnât help no one texted me bc i was poor and had didnât get a smart phone until is was basically too late :)#like i know part of it is the depression but#idk i just donât do anything when i get home#sometimes i do art sometimes i game but usually i just lose track of time staring at tumblr and the next thing i know my few hoursâ#after work are gone and i have to go to bed#like donât get my wrong i LOVE my coworkers but i need some more friends within my own age bracket#like is it to much to ask for a group of friends that will watch anime and movies with me in our own discord server#like is that literally to much to fucking ask of the universe can i be allowed to feel like an actual normal human being thatâs connected#to the human experience for once in my fuckkng life#and not feel like some sort out outlier that doesnât fucking exist to anyone#iâm to a point where i think and feel like iâm not even real! lol#like idk i would just like there to not to be days where i literally donât communicate with anyone#and know what to say when ppl DO text me bc when ppl do text me i half the time donât even know what to say#and forget the message is there and get to scared to reply after too much time has passed like#i know itâs a me problem that therapy would help but im terrified that it wonât#that iâll just be going therapy and still be a lonely autisic looser who doesnât know how to communicate without being off putting#or being too much
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Wow I love being medicated wish life wasnt evil and kept making me have to stop cold turkey thus leading to the worst episodes I have ever had this is not good
#really glad i have poppy here demanding constant attention and im going home in two weeks#bc genuinely if i was alone rn and would be for a while i donttttt rhink that would end well#dont think Ive ever felt worse so now Im trembling in bed distracting myself any way I can until Im too exhausted#to stay awake bc laying down to try and sleep leaving me with my own thoughts sounds absolutely terrifying right now#i just really need a hug
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