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lesfeldickbiblestudy · 1 year

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Through the Bible with Les Feldick LESSON 1 * PART 2 * BOOK 80 STUDY of DANIEL – PART 1 - 2 Daniel 1:1 - 2:39 Okay, good to see you all back. We’ll get on with our next half hour. We’re going to stay in our study of Daniel. But first I want to again thank my television audience, as well as all you folks here, for all of your kind letters, your financial help, and your prayers. I just want you all to know I can’t do it without it. And even though these are rough financial times, and we keep looking for things to start diving, they’re not. My, you can’t imagine the box of letters we’ve had each day the last two days. So, thank you out there in TV-land. How we—our hearts—go out to you. And again, we always are mindful of those of you who write that you are fighting disease of one kind or another or financial problems. We cherish taking those requests into the Throne Room. We really do. All right, for those of you here in the viewing audience, we’ll go back for just a moment to Daniel. To just pick up what’s on the board, we’re in Book number 80. I don’t know how many of these programs will continue through Daniel, but we’ll take it as it comes, verse-by-verse. So if you’ll come back with me to Daniel chapter 1—and I purposely deferred a couple of things, because I didn’t want to have too much introductory stuff—but I’ve got to get it in someplace. So what I think I’ll do is come back to chapter 1 and verse 1. I think that’s really all we need. Why, when Israel was so connected to their God, did He permit these pagan Babylonians to come in and do battle with them? Well, there’s going to be reasons, and I’ll show you in just a minute. But in Daniel chapter 1: Daniel 1:1 “In the third year of the reign of Jehoiakim king of Judah came Nebuchadnezzar king of Babylon unto Jerusalem, and besieged it.” And of course, like we’ve already seen, he took all of the upper-crust captives back to Babylon. Then several years later he came back and destroyed the city, the wall, the gates, and the Temple. Then he came back a third time and took almost everything that was left of the population. All right, so why? Well, you’ve got to remember that Israel was always under God’s blessings, but also His chastisements. Come back with me now to Leviticus chapter 26. This is a two-fold prophecy. Now this took place the first time, like we’ve just seen, with Nebuchadnezzar coming and taking the people of Israel captive. It happened again when the Romans came in A.D. 70. They didn’t just take them back to one place; they scattered them from one end of the world to the other. But it was still two of the dispersions that were in Israel’s future. All right, the first one is where they went to Babylon—Leviticus chapter 26:32 and 33. But it’s a valid prophecy even for today, and I use it whenever I speak of signs of the times—how this is already fulfilled with Israel back in the land. But you’ve got to remember, that it was originally directed to Israel with regard to 600 B.C., because Leviticus is way back in the time of Moses. See, now here again, the scoffer cannot comprehend that. That way back, hundreds of years before the fact, Moses is predicting this Babylonian captivity. Then we get a little closer to it, and Isaiah predicts the name of the emperor that will send them back. I mean, that’s what is so unique about Scripture. You know, I heard one of the major commentators the other day interviewing one of the major scoffers of right-wing television. I don’t like to use names. I don’t want to get in trouble, if I can help it. But the commentator said, “Now wait a minute. You are always condemning this network. Have you ever listened to it?” “No way.” “Well, how can you condemn something you’ve never listened to?” Isn’t that right? Same thing with this Book. Do you know that 99 out of 100 people who scoff at this Book have never read one verse of it? All they go by is their gut feeling and hearsay. And all I tell people is, “Listen, just realize how intrinsically this Book has been put together.”

I used an illustration way back in one of the first programs twenty years ago. Just like a finely tuned Swiss watch with all of its intricate movements—take any one of them out, and it will stop. But, you see, that’s this Book. It is so put together – intrinsically. All right, Leviticus chapter 26, drop down to verse 32 where God says through Moses: Leviticus 26:32 “And I will bring the land (That is the land of Canaan.) into desolation: and your enemies who dwell therein (That is the Canaanites at this point in time.) shall be astonished at it.” At what? The desolation. How unproductive a beautiful strip of land could become, could so completely fall apart. But God did it with earthquakes. He did it with pestilence. He did it with drought. It stopped raining. All right, so here it is all foretold almost 1,000 years ahead of time. Now verse 33: Leviticus 26:33-34 “And I will scatter you among the heathen, and will draw out a sword after you: (In other words, there’d be tremendous loss of life.) and your land shall be desolate, and your cities waste. 34. Then (When Israel is out of the land and everything is destroyed, God says--) shall the land (the Promised Land, the land of Canaan) enjoy her Sabbaths,…” Well, what was the Sabbath in Israel’s history? They had to leave the land fallow every seventh year. From the time that they came in under Joshua, they had to leave it fallow. God said, “I’ll give you enough extra on the sixth year and the first year that you won’t miss it.” But did they believe God? No. They kept on farming it. They kept on taking out the fruit. So God says it’s going to get them. All right, here it is. So when they’re out of the land, and there’s no production, there’s no farming, there’s no fruit trees growing, “Then shall the land rest and enjoy her (What?) Sabbaths.” Now like I said in the beginning of the first program, 490 years are in one of these categories. For 490 years Israel never gave the land the Sabbath rest. So how many years did it owe God? Seventy. Seventy times seven is 490. All right, so He permitted these pagans to bring destruction into their country and to take them out captive, so that the land could enjoy its make-up Sabbaths. All right, now there was a second reason that Israel was so guilty. Who wants to guess? What was their problem? Oh, come on. Idolatry! They had a pagan god under every green tree. The Temple was still operating, but that didn’t make any difference. They were still worshipping all the pagan gods and goddesses. Unbelievable! I still can’t get over it as often as I’ve read it and taught it. How these people, brilliant as they were then, just like they are today; and yet so ignorant that they would worship idols of gold and silver and stone and ignore the God of Israel. It’s unbelievable. But they did. Now for that, turn with me to Jeremiah chapter 44, and we’ll see how this becomes part of the problem. This is why they hated Jeremiah so horribly that they threw him into a dungeon, you know. Jeremiah 44, let’s drop in at verse 15. Now this is hard to comprehend. Yet it’s exactly what the Book says. It describes it so perfectly. Now even in the Book of Hosea, what was the problem? They were following after all these pagan gods. Those of us that were up in Israel just the other day, up in the northern part, we saw the old altar of Dan—the first tribe to go into abject idolatry. They’ve found the whole thing now, the altar and everything, under dirt for all these hundreds and hundreds of years. But just to prove that the Bible was not kidding, Dan was the first to go into idolatry with all their pagan immorality. Jeremiah 44:15a “Then all the men who knew that their wives had burned incense unto other gods, and all the women that stood by, a great multitude, even all the people that dwelt in the land of Egypt,…” Now there’s a lot of Jews that ran down to Egypt to escape Babylon. All right, in Pathros, now look at their response when Jeremiah accuses them of their idolatry. They said in verse 16:

Jeremiah 44:16-17a “As for the word that thou hast spoken unto us in the name of Jehovah, we will not listen unto thee. 17. But we will certainly do whatsoever thing goeth forth out of our own mouth, to burn incense (You remember, that was part of pagan worship.) unto the (Who?) queen of heaven,…” See, it was always the female goddesses that were at the top of everything, and they would send these people into the most abject immorality. Unbelievable. And that’s who they are worshipping, these female goddesses. Jeremiah 44:17b “…and to pour out drink-offerings unto her, (Now remember that drink offering, because we’re going to come to why Daniel won’t drink the wine of Nebuchadnezzar.) as we have done, we, and our fathers, our kings, and our princes, in the cities of Judah, and in the streets of Jerusalem: (Now what a lie, the next statement.) for then had we plenty of victuals, and were well, and saw no evil.” Jeremiah 44:18 “But since we left off to burn incense to the queen of heaven, and to pour out drink-offerings unto her, we have wanted all things,…” They were destitute. They needed this, and they needed that, because they had left off worshiping the female goddesses. What a lie. All right, now verse 19: Jeremiah 44:19 “And when we burned incense to the queen of heaven, and poured out drink-offerings unto her, did we make her cakes to worship her, and pour out drink-offerings unto her, without our men?” The women just went ahead and did it anyway. Jeremiah 44:20-21 “Then Jeremiah said unto all the people, to the men, and to the women, and to all the people who had given him that answer, saying, 21. The incense that ye burned in the cities of Judah, and in the streets of Jerusalem, ye, and your fathers, your kings, and your princes, and the people of the land, did not the LORD remember them, and came it not into his mind?” And what did he do? He brought the Babylonians, and they went under abject misery. Now you’ve got to realize, too, the Ancients—especially the upper crust—did they ever exercise any human rights? They didn’t know what it was. They would kill left and right and never blink an eye, because they were just serfs. They were slaves. I will never forget—I guess it was the first time we went to Israel—we could still go up the rampart to Masada, but we can’t do that anymore. They’ve got it all fenced off. I guess it was too dangerous. But see, when the Romans besieged Masada—I trust you all know that Masada is that high mountain that they had a fortress on the top. When the Romans besieged Masada, the only way to the top was up what they called the Snake Trail. It’s only about three feet wide. Well, two men could hold off an army. So they knew they would never capture those 900 Jews by going up the Snake Trail. So, what’d they do? They started building a rampart from the north. Ten thousand Roman troops, plus who knows how many Jewish slaves, start building this earthen rampart from down on the desert floor all the way to within ten feet of the top. And I’ll never forget it as long as I live. As I was walking up that with our Jewish guide, he said, “You know, Les, no one will ever know how many Jewish bodies were just simply left to die, covered up by the dirt. And they just kept on going.” Well see, that was the attitude towards the human. It’s still like that in a lot of places today, but more so in antiquity. Human lives meant nothing to these people. You could just as well cut off a chicken’s head. It didn’t make any difference. Always keep these things in mind—that when these people went into captivity, they were now going to be subjected to no human rights as we understand them. All right, now let’s come back and we’ll pick up where we left off in the last program. In Daniel, I think we’re still in chapter 1, and we’ll pick up in verse 9. Let’s look at verse 8 just for a review. Daniel 1:8 “But Daniel purposed in his heart that he would not defile himself with a portion of

the king’s meat, (or food) nor with the wine which he drank: therefore he requested of the prince of the eunuchs that he might not defile himself.” Now there again, you have to understand, what was the mentality? How could a good, righteous Jew like little 15 year-old Daniel eat this meat that had been offered to a pagan female goddess? How could they drink wine that, before they even did anything, they would pour out a portion of it as a libation for pagan gods? Well, Daniel said, “I can’t do that.” Well, you know, Paul had a little bit of controversy with that, didn’t he? He said they won’t bother me, because I know those dumb idols can’t do anything. But on the other hand, he did condescend and say that’s all right. If it’s going to be offensive to someone if I eat meat offered to the idols at the temples, he said, I’ll never eat another bite of meat as long as I live. So it’s always been that controversy. All right, but now then, back to Daniel chapter 1 verse 9. Daniel 1:9 “Now God had brought Daniel into favor and tender love with the prince (or the top man) of the eunuchs.” Now, does that ring a bell? I’m going to use two Scriptures. Turn with me first up to Romans. Well, I’ve got another one of those age-precipitated, what Floridians call a “senior moment.” I know it’s in Romans, but I’ve forgotten my reference. Can you believe that? Romans 15. Thank you. For our television audience, I guess I should tell them, I’m sick today. I’m not up to par, so bear with me. (Les was really sick when he taped these two programs, but felt he’d let the studio audience down if he didn’t. Under the circumstances, Les did a superb job.-- Jerry Pool) Romans chapter 15 and verse 3, no, it’s verse 4. Sorry about that if you’ve written it in your notebook already. Romans chapter 15 verse 4, now this is the Apostle Paul writing to us. Romans 15:4a “For whatsoever things were written aforetime (Old Testament) were written for our (What’s the word?) learning,…” Not doctrine. You don’t find the plan of salvation in the Old Testament. You won’t find the Christian walk as we experience it in the Old Testament. That was all Law. That was Israel. But here it is. It’s still profitable as Paul says, “…all Scripture is profitable.” Of course it is. Romans 15:4 “For whatsoever things were written aforetime were written for our learning, that we through patience and comfort of the scriptures might have hope.” Now, take the young lad, 15 years old, down in a foreign country. In a foreign palace where any slip of the tongue and his head is off. Don’t you imagine he was homesick for Jerusalem? But, did Daniel ever turn against his God? Never. All right, another one I like to look at is Joseph. I think rather than going back and reading it, you all know the account of Joseph. My goodness, the young man, too, probably in a late teen situation, and his brothers connived against him. First they were going to put him to death. Then they thought better of that, so they threw him in the pit. And what do you suppose old Joseph is thinking about now? Is this all part of God’s doing? And that’s typical. I mean, we’re all human. They were, too. All right, then he ends up in the house of Potiphar, and he gets put in the slammer because Potiphar’s wife falsely accused him of propositioning her. And how long was he in prison? I think about ten years. Well, now ten years in an Egyptian prison was not a Sunday school picnic. It was like a dungeon. But, did Joseph ever give up? No. No. And the day finally came when God put His thumb on Joseph and, by a supernatural turn of events, Joseph becomes the second man in Egypt. He becomes the sustainer, then, of his own family. All right, now come back to Daniel. It is the same way. Daniel, now, is there because of who he is. He’s a believer. He’s a Jew. Yet he never relinquishes his faith in the God of Abraham. He never gives it up. All right, verse 9: Daniel 1:9 “Now God had brought Daniel into favor and tender love with the prince (or the head) of the eunuchs.

” Which, of course, the first thing they did, even as a young lad; they neutered him. So he’s a eunuch, but he never stopped trusting the God of Abraham. Daniel 1:10a “And the prince of the eunuchs said unto Daniel, I fear my lord the king, who hath appointed your food and your drink: for why should he see your faces worse looking than the children who are of your sort?...” In other words, Daniel, I’ve got to keep you looking as good as the Babylonian kids, or my head is off. So Daniel says, sorry, but I don’t need your Babylonian rich food and drink. You can bring me (What’s the word in the King James?) pulse. Now the best way I can explain “pulse,” is Gerber’s baby food. Am I right? Pretty close. It was strictly vegetables. It was ground to where it was just a mush. That was pulse. And that’s all Daniel wants for himself and his three friends. All right, come back to the text. Verse 10, the last part like I just said, they thought nothing of cutting somebody’s head off. He says: Daniel 1:10b “…for why should he see your faces looking worse than the children which are of your sort? then shall ye make me endanger my head to the king.” What’s he talking about? Swish!!! Beheading. That’s nothing new for the Middle East. It’s been there for centuries. All right, look what Daniel says in verse 11. Daniel 1:11-12 “Then said Daniel to Melzar, whom the prince of the eunuchs had set over Daniel, Hananiah, Mishael, and Azariah, 12. Prove (or test) thy servants, I beseech thee, ten days; and let them give us pulse (Gerber’s baby food for ten days) to eat, and water to drink.” No wine. Just water and pulse. Daniel 1:13 “Then let our countenances to be looked upon before thee, and the countenance of the children that eat of the portion of the king’s food: and as thou seest, deal with thy servants.” If we start looking pale and impoverished, and you can profit by getting rid of us, go ahead. But Daniel knows it’s not going to happen. All right, verse 15: Daniel 1:15-17a “And at the end of ten days their countenances appeared fairer and fatter in flesh than all the children (That is of Babylon.) which did eat the portion of the king’s food. 16. Thus Melzar took away the portion of their food, and the wine that they should drink; and gave them pulse. (just a ground-up vegetable) 17. As for these four children, God gave them knowledge and skill in all learning and wisdom:…” What does that tell you? Those kids were smart. Those kids had the answers. Now remember, they’re kids. They’re still only 15 years old. But God is using them, now, to confound all the intelligence of the Babylonians. All right, verse 20: Daniel 1:20 “And in all matters of wisdom and understanding, that the king enquired of them, he found them (these four Jewish lads) ten times better than all the magicians and astrologers that were in all his realm.” From one end of the empire to the other, he couldn’t find anybody who could compare with these Jewish lads. Now verse 21 and I’m going to have to wind this up. Daniel 1:21 “And Daniel continued (That is in his service to these pagan governments.) even unto the first year of king Cyrus.” Now, if you’ve never heard it before, you’re going to hear me teach it as plain as I know how in the first few programs. Who was King Cyrus? Well, he was the king of the next empire coming—the Medes and the Persians. All right, what did Cyrus do? Cyrus wrote the decree that the Jews had the full freedom to go back to Jerusalem. He gave them all that they needed from the forests of Lebanon. He gave them absolute protection as they traveled, so that they could rebuild the Temple and rebuild the city of Jerusalem and get things cranked up and going for the next great event. Which was what? The first coming of Christ! All right, to recap: Nebuchadnezzar took Daniel down into Babylon in the first year of Nebuchadnezzar’s reign. So Daniel covered the whole scope of the 70 years of captivity. He was already 12 or 14 when he went down there, so how old is he at the end of the captivity? Eighty.

But anyway, he’s going to stay in his place of authority until long after Cyrus sends the decree to send the Jews back. So where does that put Daniel. Probably 90 years old and all that time he’s been serving in a pagan government and has never let it defile him. All right, now what is that for us? That’s what Paul means. That all these things are written for our learning, and they are written for our profit. How are we to operate in a system that is totally against us? We never compromise. Don’t ever compromise your faith. Be willing to do what Jonah did and walk the plank before you compromise these biblical truths. Now we’re living in a time—somebody sent us a paper the other day. Maybe I mentioned it in the last program. I think I did. Where 70% of American Christians think everybody is going to Heaven. How can they? Impossible!

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kingkatsuki · 3 years

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what about panty thief denki…

you are flatmates with bakusquad. you notice one day that your panties are nowhere to be found. you just brush it off, deciding to look for it later but when days after days more of your underwear starts missing, you are 100% sure it’s one of the boys. you just don’t know who is it…

but you quickly find out that it’s denki. turned out that big flirt is more perverted than you thought! you plan on catching him in the act, but you do not expect this to happen. when one day you come home and there’s only kaminari there, you already know what’s he’s doing. and you are right.

but when you go into his room and catch him with your panties around his cock, he starts crying. he comes on the spot, the humiliation just making him more aroused. he looks at you with glossy eyes, dirty panties in his hand, bright pink dusting his cheeks… you never knew this bold man can get so shy! you expected him to smirk, say something dirty, just like kaminari would normally do, be he just whines!

Warnings: 18+, panty theft, subby Denki, masturbation.

You're so confused about it at first because no matter how much the guys try to convince you that the washer is eating them, Mina's panties aren't going missing, its just yours. There has to be something happening, but you can't quite put your finger on it, noticing slowly that specific pairs seem to be going missing from your dirty laundry, pairs that you'd worn the night before no longer in your clothes hamper even though everything else is still in place.

Kaminari would always joke that there was a panty burglar that would come in at night just to steal your panties, the on-going joke continuing the more underwear you seemed to lose.

It's the final straw when you get home in the evening from a long, long day at work and want to just relax in your bedroom when you hear soft moaning coming from down the hall. Thinking that it's just Mina bringing back another guy for the night and preparing yourself to play your music or television loud for the next few hours you ignore it. Stepping into your bedroom as you slip off your work clothes. Climbing into an oversized Red Riot shirt you'd stolen from Kirishima years ago and a fluffy pair of slipper socks as you plan to head to the kitchen. Trying to put as much space between you and Mina's room as possible, except you notice that the sounds aren't actually coming from Mina's room. They're coming from Denki's. His door ajar as you tell yourself not to look, but curiosity gets the better of you as always as you peek through the thin gap, barely an inch and you see it.

The unmistakable view of Kaminari laid out flat on his bed, one of his muscular forearms covering his eyes as the other strokes along his length with vigour. The bright pink panties you'd been wearing the night before cupped in his fist as he drags them along his thick cock. You can't stop the shocked gasp that leaves your lips at the sight, realisation dawning on you that Kaminari has been stealing your panties all this time. You should feel sick, disgusted by the information, but you don't-

Instead a heat begins to brew inside you at the sight of his thick, meaty cock wrapped in your dirty panties. Catching the way his glistening pre oozes from the reddened tip and down the underside of his length, staining the dirty fabric even more as Kaminari catches the sound of surprise that leaves your lips, moving his forearm from his eyes as he squints towards his door, instantly trying to cover his bare cock with the thin strip that could barely be called panties that he stole from you. A shameful look on his face as his hips stutter. Obviously a mixture of shame and pleasure flowing through him at being caught in such a compromising position by the object of his affections.

"F-fuck, babe." He groans, fresh pre dribbling from his length, "'m sorry, I-" He stutters, still trying to rub himself against the lacy fabric that is now barely hiding his hard cock. Even caught by you he still can't stop himself from grinding against the fabric, obviously desperate for his release, "It's not what it looks like."

"Yeah? Then what does it look like?" You shuffle your thighs closer together to create some friction against your clothed sex, trying desperately to look at his face but you're completely captivated by the sight of his thick cock barely hidden behind your panties.

"I- I-" Kaminari stutters with a whine, pearly tears beginning to clump in his blond lashes as he blinks them away, his bottom lip trembling as he shakes in the throws of his climax, barely able to hold it back as the humiliation of being caught mixes with the heat inside him, his balls tightening as he cums, "S-shit, fuck-" He chokes, hips arching off the bed as thick, white spurts of cum begin to spurt from his tip and soak his chest and your panties. Throwing his head back as he succumbs to the pleasure, his mouth open in a constant whine as he rides out his release. Unable to resist squeezing his cock with the panties still pressed against it.

"For someone that usually has so much to say, you're awfully quiet Denks." You smirk, leaning against the doorframe as you cross your arms over your chest, Kirishima's shirt riding up your thighs at the movement as Kaminari's chest heaves, trying to regain his breath.

"I think you have something that belongs to me." You motion towards the panties that are still barely concealing his thick cock, watching his lower lip tremble as he tries to form words, the haze of pleasure still clouding his senses, “How are you going to make it up to me, Denki?”

The moan that leaves his lips at your words is shameful, lifting the panties up to you that are now soaked with his cum as his softening cock flops lifelessly against his abdomen, still leaking cum. Stepping closer to hip as you take the soiled panties from his hands, pressing them against his lips as he inhales deeply. “I bet you’ve been sniffing them too, haven’t you?” He whines as fresh tears begin to stream down his pink cheeks. A mixture of both your essence on the fabric now as he takes in both your scents, “What do you want, these or the real thing?”

#jo thirsts #thirst posts #Denki thirst #panty theft #panty thief

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the-jam-to-the-unicorn · 2 years

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3 Years Of Presidency - The Interview

On the third anniversary of the inauguration of President of Ukraine Volodymyr Zelenskyy, ICTV hosts Vadym Karpyak and Olena Frolyak interviewed the head of state and First Lady Olena Zelenska. For the first time since the start of a full-scale war.

These two interviewed them since they did the interview three years ago.

Personal note: I tried my best with the translation but can't guarantee that it is 100% correct. Since the interview was about an hour, I summarized what they said about certain topics. Again: I tried my best but can't guarantee I summarized it correctly.

About the interview three years ago.

three years ago, they met when Zelenskyy was a presidential candidate, three months in politics

back then, Zelenskyy said (asked about how he was doing in these three months): He learned that people are not what he thought they were & he started to value his family more

Zelenkyy doesn't remember these answers; the interviews say they do, and Zelenskyy jokes that "Television remembers everything"

About three years of presidency.

the interviewer mentions that Zelenskyy is the "Man Of The Year" in TIME magazine

the interviewer wants to know what Zelenskyy's experience was after three years in Ukrainian and world politics

Zelenskyy says that his values haven't changed

he admits that three years ago, he had no political or diplomatic experience, but today he understands where Ukraine belongs (and his role and job)

world politics is, for him, a place where Ukraine belongs → he truly fights for it with the Ukrainians and the army (everyone)

the war is not only a fight for territory or the whole land but also for a place in the world

they don't want to be a part of another country (an empire) because Ukraine isn't an empire → Ukraine is their own state/country and different; for example, in mentality → they don't want to be an empire, even if given a chance, because that's not who Ukraine / Ukrainians are → they are normal; they want peace, tranquillity, everyone at home & the same table → therefore, the most important thing is the place of the state

Zelenskyy says it's about diplomacy

he thinks that Ukraine's place is among equals → manifested in the European Union in various defence unions, alliances or among the guarantors of security → these will be the result of consistent policy

he's seeing these goals / this path beside the war

as a result of this policy, he gets titles like "Man Of The Year", streets/squares are named after him, and he gets medals / awards / ... → but: he doesn't think these things are about him; these things are about the Ukrainians / they are addresses to the Ukrainians / all the people who defend the state and protecting the country

he emphasizes the difference between "society" and "citizens": Ukrainians are a society; a citizen is someone who is changing their passport

he stops himself after that comment, realizing that this was not the question of the interviewer; he says "Sorry" for answering so long → admitting that this is probably also something that has changed: the length of his answers and answers, in general, have probably changed too (interviewer agrees on this)

Zelenskyy continues that many things have changed: he started to enjoy the moment - like this moment: them sitting together, with his wife next to him, a de-occupied Kyiv region, Donbas not taken

he mentions the difference in enjoying things: ordinary things that are important to him as a person and things that are important to him as a president

he's trying to get the most (positivity) out of everything - like satisfaction with the positive result of the state → he explains that he focuses on the good things because he has too → because he can't get pleasure from a blocked region/city or that people died or have to suffer,... → hence why he decided to live today (in the moment) and trying to have a positive look on things → it's something he started over the past three years after beginning to see the small things a little worse; he also began to really see the big things for the first time

Olena about not being happy that her husband would run for president and three years of the presidency for her.

she was against it because she knew that the family and both of them would face enormous challenges; they would have to fight to live (their lives)

she wanted peace for her family and both of them, hence why she didn't want these fights and challenges → but: Olena knew that he could stand his ground, and they would make it; it just would be tough → and it was indeed not easy

Olena mentioned that no one knew three years ago that the worst was yet to come

Olena about the war and her family / Zelenskyy, what has changed and their communication while she and the kids were hiding.

she says that (for her) nothing has changed, especially when it comes to her husband: he was always a reliable man, and he stayed like this; his character traits haven't changed, also not his general opinions/point of views

the family is, like all Ukrainian families, separated/divided

the interviewer mentions that "your husband was taken away by the war", to which Olena responds with a smile that "Nobody will take my husband away, not even war."

she says that he still "lives at work" (Bankova); the family hardly sees him right now

before her return, they haven't seen each other for 2 1/2 months

they were able to talk on the phone while they had to hide

after her return, she and Zelenskyy had several opportunities to meet, but not that many / they are rare → hence why Olena is grateful for his interview because to her, it means they're able to spend time together (Zelenskyy jokingly adds, "Dating on air.", Olena laughs about the joke and agrees)

she doesn't think that the family has changed a lot but thinks that maybe she has changed (she looks at Zelenskyy after that, and he replies, "You look beautiful.")

Olena says that they are holding on, everything is fine (as fine as it can be right now), and the family is still the same → kind of; because they don't have a normal family life yet, like sitting down, having dinner together or talking about all kind of things

Olena (and Zelenskyy) says that they would call each other in the evening and talk about what they would have for dinner, talk about that (Olena calls it "Dinner by the phone"), they would make jokes about the dinner situation or them eating / the food,...

Olena says that right now, they, like every Ukrainian family, are waiting to be reunited

About what Zelenskyy is most proud of after three years of presidency.

Zelenskyy says that he's most proud of the fact that Ukrainians are always respected (not only during wartime)

he always believed in the Ukrainian people

the war and the strength and union of the people are not just proof of his words or his confidence in the people, but also proof to the whole world that Ukraine has such (amazing) people → he's proud of that

the interviewer continues and wants to know what Zelenskyy considers his greatest achievement (what he has managed to achieve in the three years)

Zelenskyy struggles to answer this question, admitting that it's difficult for him to talk about himself or his steps (actions) or the steps (actions) of the people around him (his team)

he thinks that every result should be evaluated when it has reached the end (of the process) and the result is clear → that's why Zelenskyy can't say anything about the war so far because they haven't reached an end (result)

he also mentions the different perceptions within the country: for some people, it's summer / a very warm spring when they look out of the window; for some is war; the de-occupied regions say that life has returned entirely again, but there is still war in other parts of the country → so the result and assessment of what they do now, how it all started and how it will end, can only be said when it ends

the interviewer agrees with him on that (calling it "reasonable") and continues that it probably doesn't make sense to ask Zelenskyy about his biggest mistakes because no one knows yet if something Zelenskyy does will be a mistake or not (Zelenskyy answers, that the interviewer can ask about that, but the interviewer drops the topic)

About the people in Zelenskyy's life the past three years and how politics changes people.

the interviewer says again that Zelenskyy mentioned in the interview three years ago that back then, three months in politics have taught him that people may not be what he expects them to be → he continues that now his people are the most important thing to Zelenskyy, but that Zelenskyy finds himself in a situation where very few people are left with him who started his political path with him → Why did this happen?

Zelenskyy says that he thinks that this is a good thing → he explains that it means he stuck to his priorities, and in order to achieve the results he wanted to achieve, only people stayed who wanted to accomplish the same things (adding that other values do not measure their lives, but the ones that work with the desired results)

he also says that politics changes people

he doesn't like the word "nepotism", saying that just not many are like him (same values / want to achieve the same things / ...), so only the ones who would work with him stay in the end (sometimes people he knows, sometimes strangers)

he also says that war changed everything too → some people left his side and "run away": he explains that some people ran in a different direction, some distanced themself from him, some "ran abroad", and some "maybe even flee now" → he adds that these people are mainly fleeing from themselves and not Ukraine

but he also adds that some people surprised him by staying reliable or at his side (even though these people knew he would expect them to leave)

Zelenskyy says that he thinks that it is not a bad thing to show weakness

he then stops, saying that he can't talk about it in a final way because no one knows how all of this will end; adding that he thinks it will be with a victory (he thinks Ukraine will win since Day 1)

right now, everyone is following the same path, with no alternatives, and he has a clear course → when it comes to the war and Russia; there is only one course/way/understanding → but: when it comes to other topics, like the European Union, they use different paths and approaches to reach that goal, because there are many different people involved

Zelenskyy adds that it's obvious that with politics, war, values and time, people change and leave (after that, he and Olena joke with the interviewer if he expected a different answer, like Zelenskyy saying names, but the interviewer says no)

the interviewer says that on the one side, Zelenskyy says that politics changes people; on the other side, Olena said that her husband hadn't changed at all; he's wondering if Zelenskyy hasn't changed for her → Zelenskyy says that maybe not, because he's not just a politician in the end (Olena agreeing) → the interviewer asks if Zelenskyy doesn't feel like one; Zelenskyy replies that he feels like a president; the interviewer responds that this is probably an advantage right now

About the war and how it will end.

the interviewer remembers Zeleskyy's words during his inauguration speech about wanting to end the war, adding that Zelenskyy said in the past that he believed it could end in a diplomatic way → the interviewer continues that now, with a war happening right now, it's clear that it did not end and Ukraine will not diplomatically win this war, only on the battlefield → the interviewer wants to know when Zelenskyy realized this / felt this and why the war will not end diplomatically

Zelenskyy isn't sure if he can say when he felt this and is not going to answer that question right now; but he understood it exactly when he had that understanding of what choice he made, what he was dealing with and what he was preparing for → he thinks that this isn't the answer so far; but he realizes that the meaning of his words have changed

Zelenskyy repeats that while they haven't started that war, they have to end it

he remembers that he honestly thought they could stop it with pure dialogue → that they could find answers and solutions and make decisions with Russia → now he understands that the graduations will also be diplomatic, but not wholly (he compares this to a hybrid car - there are two sides/parts and war is difficult and so will be victory) → it will be bloody, there will be battles, but the ending will definitely be in diplomacy, because there are some things that, apart from the negotiating table, they will not be able to finish → Ukraine wants everything back, but Russia doesn't want to give anything → therefore, Ukraine doesn't want to give them anything → so this will be the end of the war, and they need to find a diplomatic solution

About the days leading to the invasion.

the interviewer recalls that in the days before the war, Zelenskyy seemed a bit nervous when Western intelligence strongly recommended preparing for the invasion and said it would be difficult, and Zelenskyy "down-playing" it and advised to "not panic" and "we have everything under control" → the interviewer wants to know if Zelenskyy really believed that Russia would not start a war

Zelenskyy said that everyone was used to living in a constant war, and it was always a hybrid (war and diplomacy)

Zelenskyy says that they understood where the attacks would come from, already experienced some, like cyberattacks → but he doesn't want to talk endlessly about it because everyone knows what happened and what the pressure was because things happened long before the invasion

he says that they understood that one way or another, they needed to be prepared → but: no one really understood fully the extent or impudence of what would come (he gives examples like it's one thing if tanks leave Belarus but another if Russia will attack Ukraine through Belarus and rockets flying specifically from Belarus - it's a small difference, but it's a difference) → he empathizes that it's a big difference if you're at war with two countries or with a country that uses another country to attack you → therefore no one knew until the end what was happening and it could all be untrue, no matter what intelligence says, because no one knew the details

Zelenskyy says that despite all this that everyone was preparing for various events and training for them → different intelligence agencies of partner countries had their training and their warnings → but: no one had/possessed more details than Ukraine → and they didn't expect anything bigger than what they were told

Zelenskyy mentions that this is a topic you could talk about for hours and finish his thoughts by saying that he thinks everything started back in September / October → back then they saw what was happening, they prepared, and they saw the messages and steps (like the first shortages),... → he also adds that of course, you could also start in 2014, but when talking about the full-scale invasion, he would start talking about it in September / October 2021

About February 24.

Zelenskyy said when the invasion happened, they were at home; it was 4 am

Olena says she remembers waking up to strange sounds outside the window (like most Ukrainians), and it was still dark; she saw that Zelenskyy wasn't lying next to her, and she found him fully dressed in the next room; she asked him what was going and he only said "it has begun"; she says it's hard to describe the emotions in this situation, it's horror and numbness; after that Zelenskyy left and she understood that this situation was like a tightrope for him and they immediately realized that life had changed forever

Olena says she lives for the moment (will start to live again) when he says to her, "It's over! Victory!" → she adds that she will probably not be the first one he talks to because he's always at work right now, but she wants to hear it with everyone else, at least on TV (Olena asks if he can / wants to add anything)

Zelenskyy says he was ready and leaving when Olena woke up and got calls / a signal a little earlier when the shots started → everyone was prepared and ready, so the moment they realized it started, he got a signal, a call and went to work

Zelenskyy mentions he doesn't remember much, only one thing clearly (adding that Olena already said everything): that he told his wife that the kids need to be explained everything, they need to be told that war has started (like it's something normal) and there is no need to come up with anything else, and everyone should understand how to behave

Zelenskyy says he also remembers coming home very late the night before because he had a meeting with the National Security and Defense Council (they discussed the issues and all the paperwork and structures that they needed to prepare) → he says that they understood that if it starts the state has to work like one organism and they have to ensure several things (like the National Bank still working, state reserve,...) → they prepared things in advance, so everything would be "safe" because they understood the risks (he then adds that he thinks the meeting was the day before, but can't remember/isn't sure about it)

the interviewer asks about the children and if Olena was able to explain everything to the children

Olena says that she needed an explanation when she woke them up that early and told them to pack a case → she says the children surprised her → Olena says she tried to be energetic and cheerful and pretended as if nothing was really happening, and the children somehow disciplined followed all her instructions and gathered quickly

after a while, the children realized that they didn't know when they would see their father again, and they cried several times

she adds that they're still doing well - like her father: they know that he will endure, and so they will endure

About how prepared the Ukrainian military was.

the interviewer wants to know how ready the military was since it was quite a surprise how fast Russia occupied regions / moved toward Kyiv

Zelenskyy says that Russia used all amount of forces / absolutely everything, even reserves (Zelenskyy's team calls it "the silent mobilization" since you can only do mobilization when you're at war and Russia did a "military operation")

Russia transferred a lot of troops with a concentration in Crimea and Belarus → the focus was on different areas, and so nothing happened along the borders... (he explains the Russian movements)

Zelenskyy says that he thinks that Russia really had a big volume and that no European country would be able to cope with such a volume today

he says that they're small in comparison to Russia, and when a huge army attacks, you can't concentrate all your forces in one area (like Kyiv, for example) → they need to provide air defence, tanks, equipment, infantry fighting vehicles,... everywhere

(Zelenskyy gives a lengthy explanation about the troops' strengths and how they evolved and were assembled)

Zelenskyy says that right now, 700,000 people are fighting for Ukraine

he mentioned NATO briefly and that they would have important weapons that could help / could have helped Ukraine (for example, with air defence)

Zelensky says that the chaos caused by the many people fleeing also helped the enemy in the first few days

nevertheless, he thinks, in retrospect, that they prepared well

he finishes by saying that despite everything, all the analysts thought Russia would capture them in two or three days → this was based on what the analysts knew, but they did not know everything / all the details (the interviewer adds that now the military analysts will have to revise their methodology)

Zelenskyy says again that everything was prepared, and they understood everything very well, but there were problems → they sent out requests for money because they knew they had to change from Soviet weapons to NATO models, but you can't do this if you're not a member of NATO because you're not given licenses and are not sold anything

Ukraine was told to "dig trenches", but Zelenskyy says that it's not possible to win such a war with the shovel, so he told them to give Ukraine weapons

About Mariupol / Azovstal.

all of them are heroic people

it's not only National Guard but also Border Guards, paratroopers, police officers, SBU representatives, medics, military medics and local people

they all defended Mariupol

a lot of pilots died → they tried to fly into Azovstal to bring them medicine, food, water and pick up bodies and wounded people

a lot of things were happening, and no one was talking about it because there were no official air corridors to Azovstal because Russia had air superiority

Zelenskyy says they were doing far more than just saying, "Help us and close the sky." / having conversations

the Russians were also afraid because they saw the losses

it was not only a question about planes but also about air defence and Russian missiles → that's why it was not possible to approach Mariupol

90% of (helicopter) pilots died → they knew it would most likely be a suicide mission, but they wanted to help the people in Azovstal

Zelenskyy hopes that when people talk about Azovstal, they will talk about all the people involved

all civilians who were blocked at the plant have been taken out so far → evacuation of other civilians, those who were near the plant or in Mariupol, were taken out long ago

civilian medics were evacuated

the (seriously) wounded were evacuated

Zelenskyy thinks that in the near future, maybe in the coming days, everyone will be evacuated

Ukraine agreed that the unblocking would be done by Western mediators and partners → he negotiated with Turkey, Switzerland, and Israel → first with France because of the leaders' relations with Russia when they saw that it was impossible to unblock by military means

he talked dozens and hundreds of times with leaders of other countries to get weapons so they could reach Mariupol by military means to unblock the city → he says that many people wanted to go, knowing it might be a suicide mission, but a lot of heroic people wanted to help

Zelenskyy says that the people in Azovstal have every right to go out (surrender) and save their lives → the military command has informed them that they can do this

the mediators, along with the countries he talked about, were UN representatives (something he organized with Guterres)

the Red Cross is also involved in the evacuations

Zelenskyy says that after everyone was evacuated to Russian territory, now the diplomacy has to work → he wants to bring all the people from Azovstal home

About meeting with Putin and talking with Russia.

the interviewer asks what's the purpose of such a meeting and if Zelenskyy thinks such a meeting can end the war

Zelenskyy says it depends on when they would meet because the goal is changing since it's a constantly changing (hybrid) war → he says if they met today, he would want to talk about Mariupol too, but in some months, this may no longer be an issue (he gives other examples too) → the situation can be a completely different in some months hence why he can't say precisely what they would talk about → he could predict what they might do and what the outcome will be, but it's just looking into the future and has nothing to do with reality → today they would talk about the exchange, de-occupation and peace, stopping the war

Zelenskyy says that some points may change, but some things were also topics from the start → they know that many things depend on them, but also on Russia / what Russia does → without talking to them, they can just look at the current status (he elaborates on this further)

they want the territories back, and they want to end this war; they have desires and goals → but: how it will be and when it will be, depends on the time of the conversation with Putin

Zelenskyy strongly believes that a conversation between Ukraine and Russia will take place, but they do not know in what format (with or without intermediaries, in a broad circle, at the level of the president or a two-way conversation,...)

he adds that the security guarantees are a very important subject to them, not only a paper this time, but something that exists in reality → they are the basis of security of the state and society of Ukraine

they are considering a range of security guarantees with trusted partner countries, and they are currently developing a project with them → the main problem is that right now, they like some things Ukraine doesn't like and the other way around → basically: Ukrainians want too much and Europeans being too sceptical → Zeleskyy is sure that somewhere in the middle they will find an answer → emphasizing that this answer is essential because Ukraine needs the parliaments of the guarantor countries to vote for this document and give it ratification

its an international agreement Ukraine needs / they want a separate agreement → this agreement provides for a circle of partner states around Ukraine without Russia; security guarantors without Russia

Zelenskyy said that Bucha changed some things as well as time (not only how Ukraine wins but also how Russia behaves)

Zelenskyy says it's important who is ready to sit at the negotiating table and who isn't / who wants to sit down and who will never sit down

they have to adapt to changing situations and times when they talk about agreements

Zelenskyy thinks it's also important to have separate bilateral conversations with Russia / Putin

he doesn't know what will happen after signing the agreement; they have to see → what happens afterwards also depends on what they will discover/see/how Russia behaves

Zelenskyy says again that there will be exchange to get the captured people from Azovstal back

he says again that a lot depends on how Russia will act in the future, for example, what happens with the planned exchange

in the end, he says this also applies to the situation in Donbass

About if Olena writes/edits her husband's speeches and the video addresses in general.

no, Olena is not editing them → she thinks she also wouldn't be able to do it any longer because there are so many (big) topics that she wouldn't physically have time to edit everything → she also doesn't want to do it

they still talk/argue about literary things, but she admits that sometimes she doesn't have/know enough "tricks"

they talk about the speeches afterwards, but she doesn't see them in advance

Olena thinks that she has other "missions" (projects/things to do)

she admits that his team is doing it really well

she is not sure if Zelenskyy sees the finished speeches very early, but he tells the speechwriters what he wants (to talk about) in his addresses → but: no one writes him the complete speeches → Olena mentions again that this is the reason she can't help much, because it's his opinions and not hers → she might be able to help with arranging them somehow, but it would take her much longer than his assistants

the interviewer asks Zelenskyy if it is difficult to give them every night

it's important to him to not just speak to others and to understand what he's doing → but he's not a robot and doesn't have time to write the whole text → it's important for him that all his thoughts are conveyed and what the idea of the speech was

his team is small, and it's usually just him and maybe one, maximum two more people → he says more is not needed because also many people have many different opinions (which would not be helpful in this case)

the interviewer acknowledges that everyone on the table agrees that the speeches are work but wonders how Zelenskyy copes with the fact that sometimes there is nothing special to say because he still needs to say something in the evening

Zelenskyy says that he works every day and doesn't rest, hence why he always has something to say, but sometimes there really is nothing to say when nothing happens → for him this means happiness because no news is good news

he also says that at the same time, other things are coming up he needs to talk about

Zelenskyy explains that another thing is the psychological effect of his speeches: it is important to show that he's still there, like everyone else

he thinks that people would absolutely be able to live without his speeches for some days, but it would raise questions (Where did the president go? What is happening in the country? Is something wrong?...) → this would destabilize the situation, hence why he sometimes needs to talk to the people even if there is nothing to talk about, but it's still essential to reach out to the people (at least until victory)

About the psychological side of war, Olena's work and Ukrainian women.

Olena says that she always highly valued the Ukrainian women and thinks they are the best

women are everywhere: in the armed forces, as volunteers, in medicine, as teachers,...

in addition, women are entrusted with many other things that they have to do outside of their professional activities → taking care of children → this system is now broken: everyone needs to be fed, everyone needs to be taught lessons,...

Olena believes that after a victory, everyone will also remember the heroism of the Ukrainian women

she thinks as a result of the war, people will not allow not to change the standards for the difference in wages →they dealt with these issues before the war, and Olena thinks that after the war, they will return to it and then it will no longer be just a topic for discussion, but a necessity, to show that everyone won together

another important topic is health

Olena is currently starting a big project: a national program for psychological health for Ukrainians → almost everyone gets psychological pressure, and almost everyone can have psychological problems during the war and after it

some parts of the population are most affected by the war: children, the elderly, people who have lost their homes / loved ones, military returning from war → Olena mentions that the post-traumatic disorder (PTSD) probably awaits a larger number of people

she recognizes that if they do not do something for everyone, this could lead to big bad consequences, not necessarily after the war but perhaps in 10 years or beyond

the WHO supports the project, and they receive help from different countries like USA or Israel since they have certain knowledge and experience

the first part of the project is to find ways how the already existing programs can / would work in Ukraine → they need to understand the critical points on which they have to focus first

she mentions that mental health is a big topic in the world right now, which helps → Ukraine has to face a double struggle: after Corona, people now have to deal with a war → therefore, Ukraine needs as much of the world's assistance and work in this direction as possible

the project includes all women since, in most cases, they suffer the most - even if they do not suffer physically, many people suffer psychologically → therefore, they want to take care of each other and women first

About victory.

the interviewer said that in his last interview with Zelenskyy in April, he mentioned that the demarcation line, as of February 23, before the full-scale invasion, could be considered a victory → What's now a victory for Zelenskyy?

Zelenskyy says that different parts of the population have different ideas about this → he thinks that the most valuable thing is to save as many people as possible (acknowledging that he knows that the military people are very brave and ready to give their lives and he knows that this is Ukraine's great value and treasure)

he thinks that people shouldn't be too greedy right now → but: he knows that justice is when everything is taken back, and he strongly believes that Ukraine will definitely turn the situation around, but he thinks today's issue is to save people

Zelenskyy knows that Russia is not ready to just give something away since there is land they have occupied, and there is land where Russia has already been for a long time → hence why Zelenskyy thinks that reaching the line that was before February 24 without unnecessary losses is a victory for Ukraine right now → he knows that would mean not all territories would be returned to Ukraine, but the situation is not easy, and they have to look at the price they have to pay for war and de-occupation → but in the end, everything will turn around for Ukraine

Zelenskyy says that they have already broken one of the largest / strongest armies in the world - physical as well as psychological → he mentioned that Russia would not recover for many years → but: Zelenskyy says that people shouldn't forget that the (Ukrainian) military wants to live → that's why it's important to him that everyone understands the value of each of these difficult steps and the price of each step both forward and backward, because stepping back is not easy, because it's expensive (costs a lot of lives)

he mentioned again that demarcation would be a victory → it would indicate that Russia did not capture them and that Ukraine was able to defend their land → after that, they could move to the second part: talking at the negotiating table → that's what he hopes for and that the result of this conversation will be final justice

the interviewer wonders how Ukraine can win but not lose → Zelenskyy says that if you win, you do not lose

About Ukraine being the centre of the world right now and why the victory is important for Ukraine's future.

Zelenskyy knows that Ukraine is in the centre of the world's attention right now and doesn't want to lose this status because they "paid" a lot for it

he says again that this is why people should never forget the values of these losses

he explains that Russia didn't realize that in reaction to Nazism, the whole world would be united to achieve victory

he recaps that humans have no value in Russia, talking about how Russia pretended no corpses existed at the beginning of the war, only admitting it slowly and taking the bodies back very slow and not that many

he says again that people shouldn't get "dizzy" about victories or Ukraine right now → people should never forget the human value; victories can only be temporary (for Russia)

he says again that they will get back all the territories because it's their land

but the most important thing is the truth

he says that right now, it's "fashionable" to be Ukraine, and there is a lot of respect for Ukrainians, no matter if they fight or are somewhere abroad - all Ukrainians are heroes to people from the outside → he says it's nice that they are greeted with respect, and so many people ask if they can help and it's essential not to lose this modernity because it's a manifestation of Ukraine as a nation

Zelenskyy says that this war is a war they can not lose because it's not a war against Russia, but a war with Russia for Ukraine

Ukraine is fighting for their own, and this is a very strong position → this is a war for Ukraine's independence, which cannot be lost, because of Ukraine's freedom and sovereignty

#president zelensky #volodymyr zelensky #volodymyr zelenskyy #wolodymyr selenskyj #president zelenskyy #selenskyj #volodomir zelensky #olena zelenska #president volodymyr zelenskyy #vladimir zelensky #volodimir zelenski #zelensky #selenski #ukranian #ukraine president #ukrainian president #ukraine

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staysuki · 3 years

Text

we are not soulmates! | yang jeongin fic

pairing: reader x yang jeongin | idiots to enemies to lovers (mostly just idiots; not so much enemies but just minor dislike)

genre: fluff, crack

word count: 7.5k

warnings: suggestiveness? vulgar language

synopsis: out of mere coincidence, or perhaps the pull of fate, his friends are convinced that you and jeongin are 100% meant-to-be after a random encounter. the boy, however, is not.

"hyung, have you ever been in love before?" jeongin's ears perked up after hearing hyunjin's question. he rolled his eyes as he focused on the game in his phone, mumbling under his breath at their stupid topics again.

he was hanging out with three of his best friends: felix, hyunjin, and chan, at the oldest's apartment, supposedly having a good time as he played video games with felix but apparently they had better things they wanted to talk about.

things that didn't interest jeongin in the slightest bit.

"of course i have, haven't you?" chan answered nonchalantly and hyunjin just shrugged out of curiosity, huddling closer to the couch.

"what does it feel like? to have someone like that?" felix followed up, making jeongin groan in protest as his teammate turned his attention away from the game.

"felix! we're gonna lose!" the youngest said making the freckled boy laugh at him.

"jeongin we've been playing for three hours straight."

he just rolled his eyes in response and begrudgingly listened to their conversation as he rode solo, kicking felix off his team. he leaned on the edge of the couch, wanting to stay as far away from their convo as possible.

"well, it feels different for everyone. when i fell in love, it felt like i'm at the peak of bliss but it also felt scary. when you fall in love, you don't know whether you'll land in a soft cloud or just smack straight on cement. it's always a risk but when you're in that relationship, it's a risk that you should be willing to take."

hyunjin and felix were thoroughly amazed at their oldest's wisdom, both wondering when their own love story would start.

"how do you know whether they're the one? what if they're not worth the risk after all?" hyunjin added, a bit of worry and pessimism on his tone.

meanwhile, jeongin just continued to make mocking faces teasing the two's serious dispositions as he turned his phone off (no use playing without felix carrying their team) and tried to focus on the television instead.

"well, it'll feel like they're the only one you ever see. like your eyes are a camera that only focuses on them—"

the youngest was so bored with the conversation that he just started to doze off, the last words his semi-conscious state could hear was chan's voice listing all of the feelings one could ever feel while being in love.

when they're around, your heart feels like it's gonna burst out of your chest.

when you see them smile, you want to make sure it stays on their face.

hearing them laugh sounds like the most beautiful melody.

you would go out of your way to make them happy.

"yang jeongin!"

the youngest snapped awake, giggling faces of felix and hyunjin invading his line of sight.

"what?!" he grumpily waved them off, fixing his position on the couch.

"you looked adorable while sleeping, you little boy." chan cooed at him, pinching his cheeks. he always hated being babied by his friends but he somehow could never say no whenever chan does it.

"did we bore you to sleep?" hyunjin laughed.

"yes, yes you did." he didn't bother lying, he's still feeling petty that felix dropped his phone mid-game just to talk about a superficial thing like love.

it's not that jeongin's a bitter young adult who shakes his fist in the air at the youngins that he sees making out on parks (well, maybe he is)— but he also just simply didn't outgrow his "girls have cooties" phase.

as the youngest in their friend group, jeongin experiences love second-handedly. he sees how minho rotated from one girl to the next. barely giving them a second thought as he discarded them after one night of pleasure.

he witnessed how changbin couldn't leave his room nor eat for days when he found out his ex cheated on him. the lively older guy suddenly having all of his lights dimmed from within him. it took him months to get his confidence back on track but until today, it made him wary of dating.

he saw how chan broke down in tears for the first time when he came home one night and just told everyone "3 years, and it didn't work out."— you remembered how whipped chan was whenever he'd talk about his long-time girlfriend at the time, even talking about a possible proposal once they were old enough. those dreams went straight to the trash alongside the discarded soju bottles after nights of his oldest hyung getting wasted.

all the things he saw about love has always been a negative. he saw how hurt his hyungs were and how minho just easily discards the concept as a means to a fuck.

"don't worry, once jeongin experiences love for himself, he'll understand and then he'll be the one running to us for advice." chan teases which made the youngest groan in frustration.

"ugh, as if!" he rolls his eyes, trying to bury his head under the couch pillow to tune them out.

"i bet jeongin would have such a cliché romance." hyunjin starts to tease, making the other two pile on the mockery.

"oooh, i bet they're gonna accidentally crash into each other!" felix adds.

"get this, after they bump into each other they see that they're wearing matching sweaters!!" the oldest adds in bizarre detail

"ooh and the girl would probably be the kind that jeongin hates, you know, the noisy ones— what does he call them again? empty tin cans?" the freckled speaks up once again, momentarily deciding on an apparent enemies to lovers trope.

"buuut, she's probably gonna be a nice girl and she'll be the one to apologize first!" hyunjin quips.

"and and and—"

"ok stop! that's enough." before anyone could continue stacking their weird love fantasy, the youngest interjects, trying to shake them off his vicinity. "none of those weirdly specific details are gonna happen, and if it does then i'm gonna assume you paid someone to play a prank on me and i'll never believe in love EVER."

you were never punctual but you've never been this late before, and honestly, you kinda dig it. feeling like some sort of anime protagonist as you ran across the campus grounds, a piece of toast hanging from your mouth as you ran for dear life— technically speaking, you didn't need to put the toast in your mouth but what's the fun in that?

as you made your way around the corner, you were immediately thrown back as you slammed against a hard surface, doubling back as you landed with a hard thud on the ground. "i'm so sorry!— oh no my bread!" you reacted on instinct, not even knowing yet whether you hit a person or just straight up concrete but you were more concerned for the toast that fell out of your mouth rather than anything else.

"woah that looked rough."

"are you alright?!"

you immediately looked up, realizing that you indeed hit a person. just in front of you, you see a guy in a similar state as you, trying to dust himself off the ground. his fox-like eyes seemingly glaring holes in your head as a taller guy helped him up.

you then shifted your attention to the boy in front of your face who gently reached for your hand to help you up. you were taken aback as you were suddenly met with the loveliest face you've ever seen, with soft brown eyes and a face littered with freckles that mirrored the starry sky. his blonde hair making him look like a ball of sunshine.

"uh— i-i'm sorry." you stuttered as you stood up with his assistance, he shook his head as he patted you on the shoulder.

"no worries, it was an accident. are you okay, jeongin?" going back towards his friend, you see the boy nod in an annoyed fashion, hissing in slight pain.

'what a sissy, i don't even feel hurt.' you thought to yourself.

it was then that all eyes were suddenly fixated on you. more specifically, your sweater. they look back to their friend. then back to you. then to each other.

"matching sweaters." you hear the freckled blonde and the long-haired boy whisper to each other. their friend in the middle just groaned and immediately took off his own. not missing the slight glimpse of his toned stomach as he threw his sweater in his bag as if it just gave him the biggest rash.

"uhh— i'm a big fan of day6 too." stammering over your words as you pertained to the sweater. assuming that the other guy probably harbored the same taste, hence the matching merch.

"i'm not. this is my friend's sweater." he grumbled but the other two seem to be in their own conversation, laughing amongst themselves much to their friend's dismay.

you see the freckled boy turn his attention back to you, a sweet smile thrown towards your direction that made your heart do backflips. "i'm felix, by the way!" the sun could blow up at any moment and it wouldn't matter because this guy was here to replace it.

"nice to meet you felix-by-the-way, i'm y/n!!" you shook his hand, he laughed in appreciation at your corny joke and you might as well have proposed to him then and there. nonetheless, you turned to the other guy politely who also offered an introduction.

"i'm hyunjin~ hwang hyunjin. little mister grumpy mcgrumpface over here is our baby jeongin, he's not normally this mean. bad morning, y'know?" the guy talked in a sweet tone, almost like honey, it made you feel immediately forgiving despite jeongin's rude disposition. it was as if he was blessed with the power of charmspeak.

"no no! i totally understand. it's one hundred percent my fault too, i wasn't paying attention and i'm late and that's not good and my bread— oh no my bread—"

"ah! you can have this instead." felix cut you off, taking a small fancy container from his bag.

"but that's my—" hyunjin immediately clamped a hand over jeongin's mouth, preventing him from protesting any further as he gave you a bright smile. "those are felix's special brownies! they're really great."

"i-i can have this? but he seems to—"

"it's fine!" felix enthusiastically assured, this friend group seemingly have a knack at cutting off people's sentences. "we basically live together, he can have one any time. take it, please?" you couldn't say no to his puppy eyes so you just took the container.

and as you wrapped up that whole interaction, with the three boys bidding goodbye as they continued their own path, you're suddenly brought back to your miserable reality.

"ahhhh!!! i'm already an hour and a half late!!!" you bellowed, letting out a frustrated groan, pacing back and forth until you came to a conclusion. "no class for me today then." you shrugged, gathering your senses as you walked to the direction of the cafeteria, deciding to just kill time before your next class.

the three had witnessed your whole act, of course, with that shout and indecisiveness, they just laughed it off, aside from jeongin who had now decided that you'll be his archnemesis for life.

"what a great girl." felix commented as they started walking away once again, sparing a last glance at your retreating figure.

"pshh, she's annoying." jeongin rolled his eyes, adamant to pin hatred towards you.

the worst part is, it wasn't even your fault. it was entirely from the annoying remarks of his friend group that plagued his mind.

"dude! you're meant to be! you should've seen that whole thing happen, it was like a romcom." hyunjin swooned at the side, making jeongin gag in disgust.

"wow i'm so sorry i was so busy getting pummelled to the ground i couldn't see myself eat cement."

"you're so uptight, live a little." felix poked his friend's cheek though his finger getting aggressively swatted away.

"she's one hundred percent your soulmate."

"what the fuck, chan?!" jeongin's eyes widened like saucers as he heard the familiar voice of their oldest friend over hyunjin's phone. he then fixed a glare towards the phone's owner who just laughed at him.

"i called him immediately, this is a sign from the heavens."

the three ended up back to the chan's apartment after class, huddled together once again in the living room alongside the rest of their friends, ready to divulge every single detail about jeongin's apparently new soulamte.

"no, we are not soulmates!" jeongin groaned from the couch.

"oh! you said the thing! he said the thing!" felix excitedly pointed out, earning him confused looks all around.

"what thing?" chan asked to which the freckled boy just shook his head with a sheepish smile.

"no, nothing, nevermind."

everyone just looked even more confused but proceeded to just wave it off as felix's weirdness, with chan speaking up once again. "going back to the task at hand—"

"—there is no task—" jeongin snided.

"—we were literally talking about it the day before! you were going to meet your soulmate by bumping into them, and based on hyunjin's report, every little detail seemed to match. even the sweater!" chan recounted.

"yeah, and with the way you specifically described the situation, there was such a huge room for error. she could've turned out to be a bitch and not apologize. she could've not been wearing the same sweater. but no, it was perfect down to the very last tee." jisung spoke. "statistically speaking, this is the very definition of probability porn."

"ew, stop nerding out in front of us, nerd." minho playfully kicked jisung off the couch, starting another bickering war between the two guys.

"whatever it is that you want to call it, you guys probably had a hand in this. we literally just had that conversation and then suddenly it happens?! that was probably jisung's weird cousin or whatever." jeongin protested making jisung call him out for calling his family weird.

"simplifying whatever it is that jisung said, this is such a huge manifestation, yeah? i mean, this situation is way too funny to be true but it is." changbin said, pursing his lips as he obviously tried to stifle a laugh to bubble out his throat. "think about it this way, innie, if we wanted to prank you like that, why would we do it the next day after? why not wait a little bit until you forget about the conversation. do you really think we'd go all through this effort for a one-off gag?"

"yes! and if it's not, then can you guys stop talking about this like it's some big deal? it's a coincidence, nothing more!" the youngest pleaded in frustration.

"but everything could've happened differently, as what jisung said— i mean, seungmin never lets you borrow his clothes but the one day that you managed to sneak off his favorite sweater, you found a match!" hyunjin pushed.

"you wore my day6 sweater, you hoe?!?" seungmin angrily stood from the couch finally having a sudden interest in the conversation as he stole away jeongin's bag to retrieve his hoodie. "i swear to god, yang jeongin, if i see a single tatter i'll have you pay for it with your life."

the youngest shuddered underneath his older friend's glare but held his ground. "whatever, maybe you're her soulmate or something."

"seungmin's not the one who bumped into her, ya know." felix commented.

the youngest pushed away felix's teasing. "you're one to talk! she was basically swooning all over you!"

but the freckled boy just wiggled his eyebrows to jeongin, "jealous~?"

"it's true though, it was pretty obvious, she basically had heart eyes all over felix." hyunjin agreed.

"whose side are you on??" chan doubled back in confusion.

"i'm in the side of love."

everyone just groaned at hyunjin's remark.

"well that doesn't matter. she's not the one for me, she's off-limits because she belongs to you, jeongin."

"how very chauvinistic of you, lee felix. i should tell that to the many many girls falling for your sweet boy act." minho remarked at the corner as he held down jisung with a chokehold.

"you know what i mean!! you're just salty that i get more action than you." felix stuck out his tongue towards minho, who just smirked.

"you're far too inexperienced to talk to me like that, boy. you see, the difference between you and me is that i don't even have to play the sweetheart card for them to throw theirselves at me."

everyone rolled their eyes.

"is that why the doctor said your penis is gonna fall off by the time you're thirty— ahk!" jisung commented which only earned a tighter chokehold from the older boy.

changbin waved minho off. "don't listen to this guy, he hasn't had feelings since 2017. jeongin, follow your heart."

you knew that you wouldn't be able keep getting away with going to class at around the 15-20 minute late mark, "but i'm technically under the 30 minute penalty!!" you reasoned, though your professors continued their irate stupor to punish your misdemeanor because they couldn't let you go on a technicality anymore. but you didn't expect that they'd literally punish you for it! you thought you'd just get away with a slap on the wrist or a low marking— but no, you get their version of university detention: tutoring.

well, maybe they had the reason to put you there and maybe the reason why you couldn't get away on a technicality was because your grades suck ass. but hey! you weren't failing! (yet).

"ms. y/ln y/n?"

"that is me yes!"

"your tutor would be mr. yang jeongin from the engineering department."

"alright, thank you!" yang jeongin.. yang jeongin. the name sounded familiar although as of right now, you couldn't quite place it. you exited your advisor's office who gave you jeongin's number on your way out.

[you] hi! this is y/n, i believe we're tutor and tutee? hehe [y.j] unfortunately.

"huh? do i know this guy or something?" your mind wandered off, wondering why he was so hostile towards you— or maybe he just doesn't like being a tutor and was being forced to do this. yeah! he couldn't possibly hate you already right? like, you don't even know the guy at all! yeah, pshhh, everything's chill.

much to his dismay, jeongin wasn't actually forced to be a tutor (though at the revelation of being your partner, he hoped he was being held at gunpoint to do so). but no, underneath all that grinchy attitude about love, the guy just enjoyed the prospect of helping others out. he was gifted with the natural talent in studying and he wanted to share it with others.

but now, not so much.

as you sat in front of each other in the library, awkward silence ensues between the two of you. you didn't realize it at first but you soon recognized that he was the guy from the corner mishap— well, you mostly remembered because who could ever forget the beautiful man that is lee felix (though you wouldn't admit to stalking him on instagram for an ungodly amount of time) and yeah, he's there too!

with none of you wanting to take the first lead, you ended up just sucking it up and taking charge.

"so umm.. i don't really know how this goes. i've never been tutored before."

"i can see that." he says, looking through your grades in the summary that your advisor gave him.

hey! those are supposed to be confidential, no?

"well, thanks for that comment. one hundred percent appreciate the confidence boost— but that being said, i don't know where to start.." you see him roll his eyes—not even bothering to do it subtly as he made sure to go out of his way to make it known that your presence is not wanted within his vicinity.

"why don't we start with mathematics. do you know your basics?"

"yes, addition, subtraction, division, and multiplication."

his mouth slightly turns agape as he stared at you with a dumbfounded expression, "y-you're kidding, right? that was a joke cause like, haha good one, you got me there." he said, trying to convince himself with denial, not even putting any emotion on his fake laughter.

in response, you just stared back at him with a semi-confident expression, honestly meaning what you had said. you see him drop his mock smile and facepalms.

"y/n, we're in college, not elementary school. those can't even be called basics anymore as it's more comparable to lego blocks. i'm talking about algebra."

"ahhh. well, i know a bit, yeah?"

"your grades would beg to differ."

he began to fill your brain with a lot of equations, and although you would like to marvel in the fact that he's an innate genius with a talent for teaching, you were busier being confused with numbers than to appreciate the sexiness of your smart tutor.

"should we call it a day?" you ask as he checked over your mock-quiz and he just threw you an irritated side glance.

"you know i get to decide that, right?"

"yeah but well, you know, i respect your time and whatnot and i'm sure you wouldn't wanna be stuck with me for any more longer than—" you checked the time on your phone. "—a meaty thirty minutes."

"tutor sessions usually last for 1-3 hours." he remarked, barely even sparing you a glance. you audibly sighed, slumping your shoulders in defeat. at the middle of the session, you had transferred over to his side because leaning over the table to see what he was teaching had become too much of a bother so now, you got the full front seat view of his side profile— which honestly was nothing short of perfect. you'd argue that he looked better on the side but as you mulled over it, you realized that it wasn't much of a compliment than you thought it was.

"your side profile is perfect, did you know that?" you ended up saying anyways and you see his very exaggerated taken-aback expression as he inched away from your chair.

"have you been staring at me like a creep?!" you just shrugged at him, laughing a bit with his sort-of shy reaction. well, it seems more tsundere-ish than anything. he proceeds to get back to his work, though you didn't fail to notice the way his ears had turned red as he slowly inched the quiz papers up so you wouldn't have as much of a clear view of his face anymore.

and although you wanted to keep teasing him, you figured you shouldn't push it. you just met, after all.

"i hate her with all of my being, i'm quitting volunteer work."

"pfft!" felix couldn't help the amused laughter as he clutched his stomach, teasing his younger friend's demise.

"what's up?" changbin asked as he entered the living room.

"jeongin got shy because a girl complimented him! hah!" felix immediately revealed, much to the anger of jeongin.

"aigoo, young love, you're growing up boy. soon enough you'll learn about the magical act of holding hands and whispering to each other." despite the very innocent remark of changbin, the youngest still couldn't help but gag at the thought of romance.

"don't you love volunteer work, though? you don't need the extra credits but you do it nonetheless, are you sure you want to quit just because of one girl? you only need to tutor her until she gets her gpa up by at least .3, that's not super hard." minho quipped from the other side of the couch, a bit preoccupied with his ice cream and netflix but was keeping a keen ear nonetheless.

"oh? what's this? minho being caring? is the world ending?"

"it's not the end of the world—" hyunjin started to say but was cut off by felix.

"oh! you said the thing! you said the other thing!" he enthusiastically clapped but once again, his friends looked at him like a weirdo.

"why do you keep saying that?" hyunjin said with a mortified expression, pretending to be worried for felix and his peculiarity.

"it's nothing~"

"—yeah it's not the end of the world, it's just me going to kick your ass if you don't shut up." minho threatened, making felix and changbin look away with cheeky smiles. "anyways, i'm on jeongin's side on this one."

"thank you!"

"ugh, we all know that you just hate love." hyunjin rolled his eyes in the corner as the true romcom aficionado that he is.

"no, i love love." minho argued.

"mindless sex isn't love."

"yes it is—"

the two proceeded to continue their heated debate on minho's questionable life choices and jeongin just tuned it all out as changbin gave him a pat on the back.

"first you bump into each other with the perfect set up, and now fate led you two to become partners. minho's right in a sense, disregarding the concealed nihilism of it all, why don't you just ride this one out? it seems like the universe has started to put you two together so as long as you don't actively hyperfocus on it, soon it'll be gone away."

"you said another thing!!"

"felix, shut the fuck up."

"it's been 2 months, how have your grades not improved in the slightest bit."

"not true!! i increased a collective .2 in my gpa."

"y/n, i have a turnover rate of at least .8, you're ruining my rep here." jeongin remarked, sighing at the thought of having to spend more time with you, as the 'slightest bit' standard he mentioned was the aforementioned .3 that was needed to get him out of this arrangement.

"i'll try my best next time, i swear."—it's just so hard to focus when you're so dang cute all the time, you thought but held your tongue. if you weren't so stupid, you'd blame your subconscious for probably purposely failing quizzes so that you'd get to spend more time with your cute tutor but unfortunately, you were really just that dumb. jeongin was just a bonus perk.

sure, he may be a bit irritable and feisty most of the time, and he wouldn't hold back his tongue with his savage remarks, but he was also patient and forgiving. though he'd click his tongue every time you barely managed to pass through the average, you knew that he tried harder every time, even introducing various techniques of teaching styles (though at the part where he used oranges and apples to demonstrate statistics, you were getting the feeling that he's just messing with you— or probably using you as a test dummy for demo-teaching children).

he was also attentive, often making sure that you were in the best possible headspace to learn. though he showed it in a tsundere-like fashion, you were insightful on his actions. remembering the time when you were shuddering from the cold but were too focused on the mock-quiz to say anything, you felt him stand up and turn the library temperature down (despite the fact that it was against the library rules for some stupid reason).

"what was that?" you remember asking him when he came back to his seat, the temperature obviously much tolerable.

"bathroom."

"that was fast."

"it was occupied."

but you knew that the library wasn't busy at that current moment. you hid a fond smile behind your hair, pretending to focus on the quiz. though he still wasn't at a point where he'd willingly offer you his coat, it was definitely an improvement.

and he wasn't sleek either. he likes you, you're one hundred percent sure of it.

call yourself overconfident but your lack of book smarts was balanced out by your insightfulness and observant nature. you've seen the way he had softened up to you over the course of a few weekends during the 2 months he's been tutoring you.

through shy blushes and denied smiles, it made you giddy knowing that you had some sort of effect on your sweet little ice prince. though he wasn't really being all that subtle with his reactions. you realized that yang jeongin had zero capabilities in trying to hide his emotions through his facial expressions. if you wanted to, you'd probably be able to beat him at poker.

today was a slow afternoon, and you could feel that jeongin wasn't too into the tutor session as much as he usually was (albeit hiding it through a nonchalant facade, you know that he was very passionate about tutoring, if you were none the wiser, you'd assume that he wanted to take over kumon) and it showed with the way he sluggishly wrote and tripped over certain words. sighing from time to time as he ruffled his hair, trying to keep himself aware.

"should we call it a day?" you asked with a tinge of concern and he just glanced back at you, a bit of wonder in his eyes.

"this feels like deja vu."

you chuckled at the way he remembered your first tutor session, "yeah well i'll be calling the shots today, you should take a rest. you have exams too, yknow." he nodded obediently which told you even more that he wasn't in his usual mindset today.

"yeah, i'll do that, see you." before you could even say a word of goodbye, he already left you there to take care of your own stuff as well as return the books.

you'd be annoyed but you wanted to think that you've gotten to know jeongin these past two months and you were willing to forgive his dismissiveness because you were more worried about his current state.

did his grades drop because he was focusing too much on you? maybe he spent so much time tutoring you and making study guides for you that he lost time for his own studies.

or maybe you were just imagining all the soft and chill moments that you guys have had and that you haven't actually progressed your "relationship" with him. that he's still just the same old cold jeongin that wants nothing to do with you.

perhaps he finally just gave up, after two months of hoping you'd improve, he looked really disappointed when he saw your marks earlier. maybe this is it.

maybe he'd finally drop you.

you bit the inside of your cheek, adamant to make things right (though not sure what was wrong), there was a gnawing feeling in your gut that could only be fixed by talking to him.

with a resolute face, you immediately walked out the library, hoping to catch him somewhere in the halls— and thankfully, you were able to discern the familiar voice of your tutor in the next corner, as you turned, you were suddenly faced with his back as he talked with someone. but something made you stop in your tracks.

"—i just want to get away, i hate being around her! stop saying i like her because i don't!"

your eyes were probably as wide as saucers, looking like a deer in headlights and his friend who was facing your direction mirrored your expression. his eyes darted towards jeongin, then back to you, then back to jeongin. his cheeks looked even puffier with his mouth agape, looking like a lost squirrel as his mouth opened and closed, grasping for words but jeongin figured out the situation before he could explain.

he immediately turned around, seeing you stuck in your tracks. you couldn't even move a single inch in your face, unable to pinpoint the specific emotion that was deep within the pits of your stomach.

hurt?

anger?

disappointment?

nonetheless, you didn't feel like tearing up in front of the two guys so you just calmly backed away as you kept your eyes trained on jeongin who was also stuck in the same dilemma. you looked like a prey trying to escape it's predator.

you can see the internal debate in his eyes, whether he should reach out to you or explain.

but it was too late. you heard every bit of his words, and with the fact that he looked as if he was caught red-handed, it was too late to deny that he wasn't actually talking about you.

oh, how foolish you were. thinking that he harbored some secret fondness towards you but you were right, everything was one-sided. as you turned away, running away from the scene, you heard him call out to you, but ultimately ignored it, a feeling of guilt ran through his nerves as he saw you look at him with indifference before disappearing through the halls.

you reminisced all the moments you've had and wondered how your mind could've altered the interpretation to be one of attraction.

he just had those eyes. those eyes that smile at you as if you held the stars in the sky. maybe he was the one who held those stars and you were just lucky to catch it in his eyes. you were just there to bask in the wonder that he was willing to share to you— but that didn't mean you were special. you were simply just there.

and now he made it known that he didn't want you to be.

you feel hot streaks of tears run down your cheek but you aggressively wiped it off, not wanting to show any sign of weakness within the university halls.

you cried because of exams and exams only. not because of some stupid boy who've shown hatred towards you since the very beginning.

with a newfound determination, you went straight to your advisor, hoping for a new tutor. fortunately, or unfortunately, it was an easy exchange.

"so umm.. this is awkward—" the boy in front of you scratched the back of his neck, looking around the campus field just so he could avoid your gaze. he was the same guy that you had seen a few days prior, jeongin's friend. the guy who was so dumbstruck that he couldn't hide the guilt in his face even till this day.

you shrugged, your tone defeated. "doesn't have to be if you don't think about it that way."

"okay then ummm... my name is jisung. han jisung. i was assigned to be your replacement— ahem— tutor." he coughed, trying to grasp for the safe words which made you roll your eyes.

"you don't have to walk on egg shells around me. i don't care about your friend." he nodded apologetically and offered to start on the lesson.

although you made sure to make everything a fresh start, even opting to study in the benches of the university garden for a change of scenery and fresh air, you couldn't help but think back on jeongin.

you noted the big difference between jisung and his friend. jeongin was obviously more adept in teaching others although it seemed like jisung was a tad bit smarter, he sometimes used big words that you couldn't quite catch but he was quick to notice and changed his lingo to accommodate you, which you appreciated greatly.

you never really noticed how jeongin tutored you as if you were a child until you realized how jisung treated you: like a regular college student struggling with your grades. he treated you as if you were on the same level as him who just needed a bit of help. while you remembered how jeongin would often slow down his speech just so his lessons would go through your head. you didn't know whether to be insulted at the realization but one thing's for certain— it filled you with a bit of anger.

though it had a bit of a quiet start, you soon came out of your shell and got to know jisung. he was fun and dorky, quite the adorable one at that. he made every session fun and enjoyable with his jokes and you even found yourself paying more attention because it just felt like two friends hanging out.

honestly, it was a great change of pace. out of pure consideration, he never even mentioned jeongin around you.

"how do you phenomenally fuck up this much?" felix remarked.

"hey! cut jeongin some slack, he's new to this. he fucked up gracefully, okay?" hyunjin retorted, cuddling a spaced out jeongin who'd refused to leave his pint of peanut butter chocolate delight ice cream— truth be told, it wasn't even his, it was minho's, and he knew he'd be dead once he found out he's the one eating his supply. which is why he was eating it in the first place.

"gracefully is an interesting description, i doubt you could even call it that." seungmin noted.

"agreed, jeongin, you dumb hoe."

the remarks of his friends that were currently keeping him company in chan's apartment (as usual) kept his mind busy, keeping it away from wandering into thoughts of a certain tutee that he had hurt.

he could remember the day that your advisor told him that he was getting replaced (and by jisung too! what a slap in the face for him). he felt a little shatter in his fragile heart but just nodded along. the advisor didn't know of the situation and probably just thought that you two were incompatible academically, seeing how her grades had barely improved with you. not just that, you could see the professor look at you in pity, knowing how well you managed to lift up other students with your tutoring. this was the first time you failed. but the worst part was losing you.

he didn't just lose you, he lost you to his friend! (although of course, you and jisung were in no way associated with each other in that way, this is just jeongin's overthinking mind coming into play).

he looked back on that day, the day when it all blew up. when he was out of focus and had ran into jisung and just blew up emotionally.

"hey, are you okay?" jisung asked with concern as he saw you walking across the hall with a strained expression. he looked at his friend and sighed, feeling safe in his presence.

"i just, i don't know. i can't focus."

"what do you mean? are you feeling sick or something? should i call chan?" jisung's care touched the younger one's heart but he shook his head, not feeling sick at all.

"no no, it's just my tutor session with y/n—"

"are you having a hard time? she hasn't improved much right? do you want me to help you out or?"

"it's not that either— it's just that during our sessions i have a hard time breathing. i think the library dust is giving me asthma or something."

jisung looked confused, trying to piece that situation together but urged the boy to continue. "whenever i have to tutor her my heart hurts, i think i'm having hypertension because i can't teach her well. maybe i've been inadequate or something."

"jeongin..." jisung started slowly, starting to see what was going on, "does your family have a history of high blood cholesterol?" he asked nervingly.

"no— i don't think so.."

"yeah... let's call chan on this one."

and so they did, and the first thing the oldest had said when jeongin once again described his symptoms were:

"yeah mate, you're in love."

the revelation was too much for jeongin's pure heart to handle so he ended up blowing up— and getting you caught in the crossfire, much to his deep shame.

it wasn't until a few days of wallowing that he realized that he may have bit a tad bit too in denial.

well, maybe not a bit, maybe the correct phrase was 'a bit too much in denial.'

nonetheless, it was probably too late now. you've probably forgot all about him. he wouldn't be surprised, with your tunnel vision and one track mind (that he actually thinks is a bit cute), it wouldn't be weird if you had a case of object-permanence issues as well.

he groaned in frustration, seeking comfort in the fudginess of the cold ice cream as he stuck the spoon in his mouth, hyunjin immediately cooing his younger friend. "look at what you've done to him! you've hurt him with your words! my poor baby."

"he's probably wallowing in self-pity again." felix dismissed, not ending his barrage of i-told-you-so's.

"just hang out with minho, you'll move on after a day or something." seungmin suggested, and if he was the same jeongin from a few days prior, he'd probably nod along the plan.

but no. he didn't want to be like minho.

he remembered chan's words. every single bit of it, and came to a conclusion.

you were worth the risk.

when han jisung asked you out in the weirdest way possible, you probably should've taken that as a sign of a red flag.

"hey y/n, do you wanna go out this saturday? i mean— not with me— i mean!! with me but like, not with me with me, you know? like, just um, as friends or something, not like a date."

but you gave him the benefit of the doubt, passing it off to the boy's awkwardness, probably not used to asking people out on "not-dates" so you just said yes and spared him the teasing, not even bothering to ask where and what to dress for.

well, you probably should've questioned him further now that you find yourself sitting in front of a neatly-dressed jeongin in a fancy balcony candlelit evening dinner while you sat in your casual, chic airport fashion— not bad, but not theme appropriate either.

"jisung changed his mind." he said, a foxy smile filling his face as he didn't even try coming up with a better lie to hide their kahoots.

"that is huge b.s."

the boy just shrugged coyly in front of you, turning back to his plate of steak that was visibly untouched— so was yours.

"i'm gonna be honest with you, i don't know which utensil to use and i didn't want to look uncool so i've been putting off eating." jeongin admitted shyly, looking at the array of forks, spoons, and knives beside the plates.

you bit your lip, trying not to laugh, you didn't want to give in just yet. "just use whatever, man." you said nonchalantly as you picked up the most medium-sized fork, knocking off the bigger one of the table.

jeongin on the other hand didn't bother stifling his laughter, seeing your dilemma with the utensils as well. he offered to help you but as he reached out, he accidentally knocked his glass of wine, spilling red all over the pristine white tablecloth.

"oops."

"oops is right, klutz. do we have to pay for damages now?"

"well, chan already paid for this dinner so..." he stood up, offering his hand to yours, "..wanna bail and get tacos down the street?"

"you're speaking my language, yang jeongin."

you both made your way to the almost-empty street, your intertwined hands illuminated by the soft shine of moonlight as knowing smiles were exchanged between the two of you.

he confessed what had happened and that part that he had missed, even from the very first bit about hyunjin, felix, and chan manifesting your fated encounter.

and boy, you didn't believe in soulmates but yang jeongin might just very well be yours.

"you did what—?!"

you and jeongin giggled in between bites as you heard chan's crackling voice over the boy's speaker phone.

"it was so lame and gross we didn't wanna stay!" jeongin complained.

"b-but— that was expensive!"

"we'll pay you back! in like, 5 years or something." you added.

"come on chan, what did you expect, they're literal children who have zero taste and appreciation for fine dining. you could've treated me instead." you both heard minho grumble beside chan and you rolled your eyes, making the boy in front of you giggle.

"i kinda want to strangle your friend."

"don't worry, y/n, i'm sure five hundred other women share the same feeling."

you couldn't help but burst out laughing as you heard a string of curses from the other side of the call as minho had grabbed the phone from chan and was threatening to slap both of you as you hear chan trying to calm him down though failing to do so and ultimately just ended up dropping the call.

you felt a small dribble of sauce run down your chin but jeongin was quick to notice and wipe it off.

"oop, sorry, that was disgusting."

"nah, it was cute." he smirked, feeling bold.

you just looked at him weirdly, not used to his new confident persona. "who are you and what did you do to jeongin? are you secretly jisung in disguise?"

he shot you an offended look, "you think han jisung has more game than me?!"

you laughed, "maybe. he's charming."

with a roll of his eyes he leaned down, giving you a quick kiss on the lips. leaving you with a dumbfounded expression that furthered his amusement.

"y-yah! my lips taste like taco meat!"

"we've been eating the same thing though??"

"o-oh, you're right. keep going then." he laughed but leaned back down again, this time for a longer one.

though inexperience was apparent, you both shared countless kisses that night filled with the taste of sweet wine and cheap food truck tacos.

"you darn kids, stop macking on my truck, i'm closing up shop!"

a/n: hey ya'll, this fic just came to me out of the blue ig? ended up working on it rather than my basement drafts. that being said, i'm still on hiatus but i am passively writing my one-shot fics so i will be posting from time to time (occasionally) but as for my on-going series fics, they will still be on break as i cannot commit to long-running ones.

also, the felix breaking the fourth-wall bits were call-outs to fic titles (jeongin saying the title of this one and then the mention of "it's not the end of the world" which is my other jeongin fic), the last one was a "gone away" reference because i've been streaming the album nonstop <3

mastertag: @leagreenly @geniejunn @90s-belladonna @loveliebri

networks: @ficscafe

#ficscafe #yang jeongin #jeongin #yang jeongin fic #i.n.#i.n. fic #stray kids #stray kids fic #jeongin fic #skz #skz fic #jeongin fluff #yang jeongin fluff #skz fluff #stray kids fluff

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strawwritesfic · 2 years

Text

Bucky Barnes x Female!Former Addict!Reader: Tastes a Little Like Freedom, a Little Like Fear [Ch. 17]

Summary: [Name] has finally got her life on track. She’s been clean a year, has a full time job, and recently moved into an apartment that is actually fit to live in. To prove something to herself, she visits the Smithsonian exhibit on Captain America…only to run into someone a little familiar. Adopting a fellow addict is one thing. Accidentally adopting a recovering brainwashed Nazi super soldier is another. [Name]’s life is about to run off track worse than ever before, but there could be a reward at the end if she can just hang on for the bumpy ride.

Challenge: “100 Drabbles Adventure” challenge by SubtleQuirk on Lunaescence Archives.

Ratings/Warnings: M (foul language; sexual references; references to previous drug addiction and continued struggles with drug addiction; torture; mind control; dehumanization; threatening behavior of a man towards a woman; not canon compliant past Winter Soldier; set post-Winter Soldier and pre-Civil War)

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader

Tag List: @imaginesfire; @ginger-swag-rapunzel

Master List

Chapter 17: Wondering

He sat on the couch, waiting, watching. The thin walls surrounding him masked only the softest of movements from the apartments above, below, and next door. Soon such noises became easy enough to filter out even with a portion of his mind dedicated to cataloging each one. Every other part of his mind remained focused squarely on the one person he could reasonably assume wasn’t anywhere inside the building. Her now-memorized footsteps would have been obvious in their approach, and the fact that he had not heard them in some time consumed his thoughts.

No movement on his part kept the time, yet the exact amount of seconds passed between each time that he would look again at the busted door to the apartment. Where was she? Two hours had gone by since she left on the mission he’d tasked her with. That was more than enough time to get to a store, purchase a fresh set of clothing, and return. So why was she still gone?

The way he saw it, there were only two explanations for her absence: Either his happy host had chosen to throw caution to the wind and turn him in to the closest “authorities” at hand…or said “authorities” had already got to her. His gaze would snap to the only window whenever he consider these possibilities.

When he heard no approaching sirens, he would return to his previous occupation of waiting and watching. Mostly he watched the blank television screen plopped in the middle of a set of low, sagging bookshelves. There was nothing else for him to stare at. He learned quickly, and one of the things he had learned since finding himself in this place was how to work the television—but what was the point? All of a sudden there were entire channels dedicated to showing the news. All of a sudden “news” meant playing the same seven bulletins on loop. Last time he’d bothered, he’d seen four overblown stories meant to cause American citizens to fear SHIELD; three about various senators lobbying for a bill that had much worse repercussions than anything in the previous stories; and one about water skiing parakeets. It had been the same on every single goddamn channel.

Well, not every channel. There were other channels that told stories ranging from romantic dramas to wars in space. His eyes fell upon the remote sitting on the scratched-up coffee table as he mulled over finding one of those just to cut the babble in his brain. Before he could convince himself of the benefits of this, he shoved the remote onto the carpet with his boot.

Petty? Yes. But hadn’t he earned the right to be a little bit petty? Putting his shoes on her immaculately cleaned furniture was only a small act of rebellion, really. If she didn’t get back soon, she could wind up with a lot worse than some grime where it didn’t belong. Leaving him there alone only allowed him more time to stew in his black thoughts. Yes, the longer he had no one to distract him, the more likely it was that much worse might happen to her.

Or perhaps worse already had befallen her when she stepped outside his line of vision.

Like clockwork, he looked again at the busted door, waiting, watching. Where was she? Two hours had gone by since she left on the mission he’d tasked her with. That was more than enough time to get to a store, purchase a fresh set of clothing, and return. So why was she still gone? The way he saw it, there were only two explanations for her absence—

There! The sound of jangling keys penetrated his cycle of anxiety. Shifting himself into a better position to run past the intruder made the plates in his metal arm squeal. He did his best to ignore the noise; with no one to turn to for proper maintenance, such issues were only bound to grow worse. More important for now was the possibility of a fight. As the door pushed open, he swiftly pulled the remote off of the floor. Even something as light as that might become deadly in his hands if necessary, and he realized then it might be necessary. Teetering into the apartment was not the woman the place belonged to but a mound of multicolored, multi-branded bags walking atop a pair of tiny legs.

His arm bent back to get the best angle. One chance. That was all he had if he wanted to escape without any noise. Then, just as he prepared to throw the remote, one of the bags in the center of the pile fell away to reveal a face—her face.

The surge of relief he felt upon seeing her kick the door shut behind her was so great that he dropped his intended projectile. So she wasn’t hurt. He had not sent her marching off to her grave as he had so many others through the years.

His relief vanished as quickly as it had overwhelmed him, that was how soon she gave him something else to feel. She dumped her bags unceremoniously on the floor in front of the couch. A few fell in such a way that their contents spilled out: bright white socks bound in pairs; packages of soft-looking gray underwear; heaps of short-sleeved plain t-shirts that had never seen the light of day. The sheer amount of clean clothes—Clean! Even the clothes he wore now had been scavenged and stolen, mostly from sleeping vagrants—left him momentarily dazzled. He had never seen such a treasure trove in his entire existence.

“What the hell is this?” he demanded.

She flinched at the anger in his tone, but she was learning to recover as quickly as he had learned to work the television. There was no fear in her voice when she answered, “Clothes. The clothes you told me to go out and buy for you. Or did you already forget that?”

“I don’t forget that easily.” To avoid answering her scoff, he scooped one of the packages of underpants from its pile. “I said to get me something to wear for when I left this hole. Something. Not a complete wardrobe!”

“So you’re just planning to wear the same thing all day every day until then?”

“It’s the only way.”

“The only way to what? I’ve been in your shoes before—”

“No, you haven’t,” he said through gritted teeth.

“—and one of the little things that made me feel better was getting to change out of my clothes that stank like wet garbage.”

“Cute,” he sneered. “Let’s imagine for just a second that I give a damn what I smell like. How do you intend to keep these clothes from getting the same way?”

“I can wash them when I do my own laundry downstairs—”

He ripped the package in his hands in two. Underwear spilled from it and dripped into the mess below. Did he care? No, and he refused to feel bad about the look on her face either. She was lucky he had only torn apart some wrapping as opposed to something she valued a little more highly. In the silence that followed, he stepped right up to her, right into her person bubble, toe to toe. His proximity forced her to crane her neck to look into his face.

“So everyone can notice you cleaning a bunch of men’s clothes every other week? So they can work out you’ve got someone living with you that they’ve never seen?” This he said in a low growl, but he rose his voice as loud as he dared to add, “God, it’s like you have no idea how to think for yourself!”

She broke eye contact. Darker color unfurled in her cheeks. Not for the first time since following her home was he surprised he felt no savage pleasure at using her own words against her. Finding weaknesses, gathering hidden information—these were jobs he had been designed to do. Why was it that now that he could use those skills for himself that doing so made his insides squirm?

This time he would push through the guilt. She’d invited the devil into her home unknowingly, that was true, but now the devil was here to stay. There were a few things the two of them needed to get straight now that that was the plan. He could not give into her tears or her trembling anymore. One deep breath preceded his plunging onward:

“I don’t know what, exactly, you think it is I’ve been through. Whatever it is you’re imagining, I assure you that the reality is far worse. The people that did this to me are still out there, too. They will not stop looking for me until they have me. And when they find you with me, do you think they’re going to be kind to you? They’ll treat you the same way they treated me. Your withdrawals will be times you remember fondly.”

Still she would not look at him.

“It only takes one screw up. That’s all you get before they’re breathing down your neck. I have not spent decades listening to people that told me they knew better than I did to lose my freedom because I listened to someone who has no clue what she’s gotten into. Do you understand me?”

Her gaze remained on the floor. Not a single protest left her lips. She didn’t even try to move away from him. He expected her to stay that way: silent and motionless. Threat of torture often had a way of convincing even those a threat of death could not. Now, at last, she could understand the danger she had put herself in.

Then she swung her head upward, and said, “No.”

“No?” he echoed, taken aback.

“No. I don’t understand. Because I gave it a lot of thought on my errand this afternoon, and I’ve decided that I don’t believe you are who you say you are.”

“Are you stupid?”

“Maybe. But it would be more stupid taking you at your word when all you’ve done since you regained consciousness is snap at me. There are reported sightings of Hydra’s assassin all over the country. Why should I believe I’m the one he decided to follow home? What are the odds? Heck, why would a guy like that even stay in D.C. after what happened?”

“That's—”

“None of my business? You’ve made it my business. I made too many promises to too many people that I care about to let you waltz in here and take me back to square one.” She kicked one of the bags strewn across the floor without breaking eye contact. “I did what you wanted. I bought you clothes. If you expect me to do anything else for you, you’d better be prepared to give me hard evidence that what you’re telling me is true.”

His jaw locked as he gazed down at her. “Fine. Don’t listen to me. It’s your life on the line.”

“No. It’s our lives.”

The two of them stood like that for nearly three straight minutes. She was right, although he did not want to admit it. His need for her was much greater than her need for him. No longer could he simply kill her and wash his hands of the whole affair. They would see his handiwork. Like he’d told her, it only took one screw up. If she refused to listen to him…

“Show me,” she said.

“Show you what?”

“You know what.”

“I don’t have to show you anything.”

“Show me now, or we’re done here.”

Another three minutes ticked off slowly and precisely in his mind. Had he been in peak condition, he could have thought of an alternative solution. He was sure of it. The trouble was that he was not in peak condition. Only at the very beginning could he recall ever being in worse condition, in fact. What other options did he have in the here and now? None whatsoever.

“F-Fine.”

He hated the way she made him stammer. No, it was more than that. He hated her. The fire in her eyes made it clear that he could not put this off, hoping she might drop it or find another way to be convinced. She was giving him no choice in the matter, and she did not realize how much that made him loathe her.

“Now,” she whispered.

She would not even give him a chance to mentally prepare, or to breathe, or to offer up some other solution. He closed his eyes. At least that way he would not have to see the damn thing. Already his empty stomach roiled inside him; he did not need to make himself feel worse. Before she could issue another ultimatum, he wrapped his fingers around the jacket sleeve around his left arm, yanked the fabric upward, and prepared for the worst.

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labyrinthof-fan-fiction · 2 years

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Lavender's Blue {3}

Series Masterlist

A/N: I have found, INSPIRATION. I really hope you all enjoy how unhinged I have become in my author’s notes cause ya girl has been losing it. Am I putting off the final project for my grad class? 100%, but that’s just how it’s going to be. Also, I’m aging Paul up, because I can.

Warnings: Language

Summary: Paul waxes poetic on his early wolf days, Bella appears on the Black’s lawn, and his whole world shifts on its axis.

Rating: M

Word Count: 2,596

The patrols continued, Paul had to send thanks to whatever gods there might be, that Bella Swan was quite possibly the most boring person. Occasionally she went to work and they would have to shadow her in town, but for the most part, it was school and home. Sitting outside of her house Paul learned a great deal about her. She obviously cared fiercely for her father, cooking him meals, leaving them out, when he came home late. Covering him with a blanket when he fell asleep in front of the television, during some of the best games. Paul couldn’t help but feel a little guilty for the Chief’s exhaustion. Ever since the reporting of bear problems and missing hikers, the police department had been putting themselves through the ringer trying to keep the people of Forks safe. A shame that what plagued the little town could not be held off by cops with their guns.

It was another uneventful night of patrolling that rolled into morning. Bella spent the night reading in her window, before eventually falling asleep. A great deal of her time was wasted staring out the window, Paul noted. She woke up the next morning and there was a determination in her step as she got into the truck and drove to Forks High School. Paul loped alongside the truck in the forest line, once catching her eyes drifting his direction before she shook her head and continued to drive. Once she parked, Paul watched her enter the school as Jake came up behind him.

“I’ll take over, go get some sleep.” The younger boy said, eyes locked on Bella’s form that disappeared into the double doors.

Paul just nodded, ignoring the twist in his gut as he ran home. He collapsed onto his bed and immediately fell asleep. His dreams focused on Bella, brown hair and haunted eyes. Paul woke up in a cold sweat, the image of Bella being ripped apart by the vamp they had seen in the meadow fading from his memory. Glancing at the alarm clock on his side table he groaned, only two hours of sleep. But it felt like it was burned into his mind, he shook he head and fumbled his way into his bathroom and splashed cold water on his face.

He stared at his reflection, staring back at him was a man he didn’t recognize. He looked like he was in his late twenties, not just eighteen, barely an adult. Shadows dark under his eyes, there was a weariness that he had reserved for looks from his father. His mind wandered, to the time before he was a wolf. He had friends, people around him who cared about him, hell, he thought he had started to have a girlfriend. It had been hard, moving into La Push with his father, he never understood why they had run back here so fast when his mother left. That would probably be a mystery he would never solve in his lifetime. Then the fever started and the wolf came. Jared Cameron had been in his classes, but not in his circle. It was a shock to his system when he woke up naked, in the forest with Jared standing over him.

“Lahote, good to see you back in the flesh.” He joked, tossing him a pair of shorts.

“What the fuck is going on?” Paul growled, pulling the shorts on. This must have been a bad trip, had he taken something from someone?

Sam Uley walked out of the woods, bare chested. “What do you know of the legends of the wolves?”

Paul raised his eyebrow, he really must have gotten into some good shit. “Not much.”

Jared chuckled, “You’re in for a wild ride, my friend.”

That began what Paul had considered the best months of his life. He had spent most of his life with the feeling that he was meant for something more, that he was something better than the circumstances life had granted him. Becoming a member of the pack solidified that for him. He was a thing of legends, something that transcended the fabric of reality. It took a few weeks for him to master phasing.

“You have to master the anger, channel it.” Sam stated firmly as they stood across from each other.

“I know.” Paul growled through gritted teeth.

“So get pissed.” Jared supplied, oh so helpfully.

“I’m always pissed.” Paul snapped, feeling his skin begin to burn, his body shaking.

“That’s his secret.” Jared said with a smirk as the grey wolf exploded in place of Paul. “Who’s a good wolf?”

Paul snapped his jaw in Jared’s direction.

“Now back.” Sam commanded. Paul took a deep breath through his nose, the earthy scent of the forest flooding his senses. Pine tinged with salt air floated through the breeze that he felt on his bare skin. “Good. Again.”

It felt like the worst game he had ever played, practicing phasing back and forth. But he understood why Sam was so adamant that they practice. It was a month of practice before Paul formally met Emily Young. He vaguely remembered who she was, at least, that was until the wolf mind meld shared the full story in live and living color with him. The scars on her face were a constant reminder of what could happen if the wolf was not controlled and Sam’s never-ending guilt a small piece of the true consequences.

The imprint was something that Paul was mildly curious about. At the beginning, they were convinced it was rare, something that only a few received. It made sense that Sam would have one, being Alpha, he had more of a need to continue the bloodline than the others. Paul would be lying if he said that he wasn’t a little bit jealous of the bond Emily and Sam shared, but he supposed that having one otherworldly gift was one too many for him. At least, that was what he thought until Jared appeared at Sam’s eyes wide.

“I imprinted!” He was ecstatic, joy radiated off him in waves. “I knew her before, in school. She’s perfect, it’s just like you described.”

Sam smiled at Jared. “I am happy for you, you’ll have to bring her to the house, let her meet Emily. Explain everything.”

“Can I tonight?” Jared asked, practically bouncing.

“How about you pump the brakes, you just imprinted. Maybe try just hanging out before you throw her headfirst into the wolf world.” Paul joked, ruffling Jared’s hair.

Jared deflated a bit, “You’re right. How about in a week?”

Sam sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “When the time is right, bring her up to the house, we’ll talk.”

Jared ran out of the house and phased, a howl echoing as he took off through the forest.

Sam looked to Paul, who still stared at the tree line, deep in thought. He clapped him on the shoulder. “Who knows, maybe your time will come.”

Paul scoffed, “I don’t think that an imprint is in the cards for me.”

“Don’t count yourself out, we didn’t think there would be more than one, and now look. Two out of three, that’s gotta count for something.”

Paul didn’t want to hold onto the hope that had found a home in the hole in his chest. He had been disappointed a few too many times.

His old friends had let him fade from their memory, wary of the bond that was evident between Sam, Paul, and Jared. He heard the whispers, mentions of a gang, all of the worst things that people could come up with for a group of boys. He remembers vividly opening the door to the general store for an old woman who looked at him with a twinge of fear in her eyes.

“Ragamuffin.” She grumbled, pushing her legs to move as fast as they could manage.

A knock on his front door pulled him from his memories, he took a deep breath and scented Sam outside the door, Jared not far behind. Paul wandered down to his front door and opened it to the Alpha and Beta.

“Let’s go check on Jake.” Sam stated.

Paul rolled his eyes, “Yes, let’s check on the Little Alpha.”

“Paul…” Jared warned as they continued to the Black’s house, Embry bringing up the rear.

Jake had taken the change hard, especially with the order to stay away from Bella, and it only got worse after the leech encounter. The minute Jake realized that Bella was not his imprint he had been a miserable fucker. It had become a common occurrence for him to storm out of his house and stomp around for the rest of the day. This week had been worse, Billy had passed on the knowledge that Bella had been calling, looking for Jacob. Two days ago, she had called every half hour. Yesterday, she had parked out front and watched the house. How she thought she could be incognito in that truck was beyond Paul, but he kept himself in check. He had figured that a girl who was supposedly as smart as Jake said Bella was would have taken a hint. What they hadn’t expected when they arrived at the Black household was Bella Swan storming out in a rage.

“You!” She shouted, storming towards the three, her anger firmly focused on Sam. “What did you do to him?” She shoved at Sam, “He didn’t want this!”

“What did he tell you?” Paul growled, pushing himself into the conversation. He knew Jake had snuck to her house last night, he caught him when he was switching patrols. The kid hadn’t let on that he had said anything to her, but he wouldn’t put it past him.

“He didn’t tell me anything because he’s scared of you!” Bella retorted, her head turning as Paul let a laugh tumble from his lips.

Little Alpha, afraid of them? He met her brown eyes and the world stopped spinning, oh holy fuck. Of all the girls in the world, this one? Fuck everything. It felt just like Sam and Jared had said, there wasn’t anything else. All that mattered was this angry girl in front of him.He felt himself starting to shake, oh god. She can’t be here, he can’t hurt her, not like Sam. Flashes of Emily’s scars ran through his mind, Sam’s guilt burying itself in the pit of his stomach. Why did it have to be her? What kind of sick cosmic joke is this?

“Oh shit.” Jared started, catching the look in Paul’s eyes. There was that dazed look along with pure panic. He had never seen panic in Paul before, which confirmed what he thought had happened.

Paul didn’t see her fist flying at his face as his mind raced at high speeds, this was too much, he couldn’t think straight. He snarled when her fist made contact. She fucking hit him? He felt a tremor go down his spine. You can’t phase, she’s too close. Calm down. Fucking calm down.

“Paul, calm down.” Sam ordered. “Bella, get back.”

Can’t hurt her, must protect. The wolf urged.

Shut up, shut up. Paul growled back, taking a deep breath through his nose, trying to calm down as Bella took a few steps backwards, her eyes dazed and her arm held close to her body. He could scent the fear rolling off her. She’s a leech lover.

She is ours.

Paul looked up as Jake leapt over the porch railing, he didn’t catch what he yelled, but he felt the tremors take over his body. As Paul phased into his wolf form he saw Jake phase above Bella, just as she started running from Paul. Jake landed in front of her and Paul saw red, no one was stepping between him and his imprint.

What the fuck, Paul? Jake snarled.

Mine. Paul’s wolf snarled as Jake continued to block his view of Bella.

Recognition flashed in Jake’s eyes as he realized what had happened in those few seconds, Paul’s memories open to him. You motherfucker. And he pounced on Paul.

Protect. Paul glanced over Jake’s shoulder to see Bella prone on the ground as Jake took a snap at his shoulder. Normally, he wouldn’t stop at the chance to get Jake down, but he needed to get him away from her. He took his chance. C’mon little alpha, is that the best you’ve got? He goaded, heading into the tree line. Just imagine what the first thing I’m gonna do to her is, she won’t even remember you when I’m done. Maybe he added a bit too much to the images he pushed into Jake’s head, but if it got him away from Bella, he didn’t give a shit.

The younger wolf growled low in the back of his throat and jumped at him. Jake continued to bombard Paul as they went deeper into the forest. How could you? He snarled between bites. It’s not fair.

It wasn’t fair, Paul would agree with him on that, but somewhere in the hollow of his chest, there was a small flame burning. He hesitated as Jake lunged forward and grabbed onto his front leg. He let out a sharp bark and tried to bite at Jake’s neck. He might let the kid take out some of his anger, but like hell was he going to take it sitting down.

Sam watched Paul lead Jacob away and his eyes met Jared’s, understanding flashed between them. It seemed the Swan girl had become more important than she had in the past few weeks. Fate was weaving quite the twisted web.

“Take her to the house, let Emily know what’s going on.” Sam ordered, glancing at Jared and Embry. Silently willing them to let the imprint knowledge slide until Paul could talk to her. He looked at her, sitting on the grass of the Black lawn a dazed look in her eyes. “Bella, the boys are going to take you to the house, we’ll explain everything when we get there.”

Her brown eyes turned to him, there was fear, confusion, and something else swirling in them. “Okay.” She stated simply as he offered his hand to help her stand. She was flanked by Jared and Embry as they walked to her truck, once the engine started Sam turned to the forest and phased. He used the pack bond to find the two idiots deep in the forest, Jake had Paul pinned, and Sam had to admit he was a bit surprised. It seemed that the imprint had knocked Paul off his game.

BOTH OF YOU KNOCK IT OFF! Sam ordered, causing them to jump apart. Paul favored his leg as the smell of fresh blood hit his nose. Bella is Paul’s imprint, Jacob you will respect that. Jake chuffed and glared at Paul.

Is she alright? Paul asked, Jake rolled his eyes.

Why do you care?

Sam sighed, Jared and Embry are taking her to Emily. I think you broke her hand.

Guilt washed over Paul as Jake stared in on him. You broke her hand?!

She hit me, I can’t help it.

Sam snorted, What do you expect with that Lahote hard head? But he took a moment to focus on Paul, he could feel the guilt rolling through him, mixed with confusion and elation. She’ll be alright Paul. Paul’s eyes met his and for once, Paul didn’t have something to say, he fell into line with Sam and they ran back to the house.

#paul lahote x bella #paul lahote x bella swan #paul lahote #bella swan #imprint #twilight fic #lavenders blue

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drabbles-mc · 4 years

Text

Talk You Out Of It

Angel Reyes x Reader

Warnings: Angel being a needy boyfriend

Word Count: 1.4k

A/N: Just a quick little Angel fic to get back into the writing groove again. I promise I haven’t forgotten about anyone’s requests. But I’ve been in such a funk that I just needed to get back into the writing headspace. This is 100% based off of This Song in case y’all were wondering lmao. Enjoy!

Angel Taglist: @mayans-sauce @helli4nthus @angelreyesgirl @starrynite7114 @queenbeered @sincerelyasomebody @sadeyesgf @thesandbeneathmytoes @appropriate-writers-name @tomhardydallasstarsgirl @multiyfandomgirl40 @sillygoose6969 @beardburnsupersoldiers

“C’mon, querida,” he begged as he leaned against the doorframe of your bedroom, “I don’t wanna go without you.”

You chuckled, looking up from the book that you were reading with a smile, “I told you, I don’t mind you going to parties without me. Just make sure you come home to me afterwards. I’m just tired, baby. I wanna stay in.”

“Please?” he gave his best puppy-dog eyes as he strolled over to the bed, taking a seat on the edge of it next to you.

You closed the book, setting it on your nightstand, “Why is it so important that I go tonight, hm? You’ve gone without me before.”

“I’ve missed you this week. I feel like I’ve barely seen you.”

He wasn’t wrong. Between him having late nights with club business, and you having to pick up early shifts at work to cover for a few people, it really hadn’t left the two of you with a lot of quality time. The petty part of you wanted to tell him that if he really wanted to spend some time with you, he could also stay home. But you knew that that wasn’t a fair ask.

“I’ve missed you too,” you gently cupped his face in your hand, “And you don’t have to leave for another hour or so. So you can laze around with me until you have to leave for the party.”

He huffed and playfully flopped his entire body on top of yours. You laughed against his chest, his weight sinking you into the mattress, “But I want you for the whole night, not just for an hour,” he lifted himself off of you just enough so that you could look at him, and also breathe a little easier, “Please, baby? I’ll owe you one.”

You raised an eyebrow, “Owe me?”

He rolled his eyes, instantly regretting his words, “Within reason, yea, I’ll owe you.”

“Hmm, you do make quite the argument,” you laughed as you pushed his body off of yours, “Alright. I guess I can suck it up for a few hours and go. But,” you gave him a pointed look, “you owe me.”

He nodded with a small smirk creeping across his face, “I do, I owe you.”

You hopped out of bed, “Guess I better start getting ready then.”

He propped himself up on his elbows, eyebrows raised in confusion, “Already?”

A laugh escaped you as you sauntered over to your closet, “If I’m doing this, I’m doing it right.”

He chuckled as he got off the bed. You felt his body press against your back as he peppered your shoulder and neck with kisses, “I’ll leave you to it, then. Let me know when you’re ready.”

He disappeared out the door and hardly even a minute later you heard the TV in the living room turn on. You chuckled to yourself, shaking your head slightly as you leafed through all the hangers in your closet. You always got a little more dolled up than usual for parties at the clubhouse, just liking to have a reason to do so. But after a long week, the least you could do for yourself was really put some time and effort into yourself. Even though you said that Angel owed you, you knew that you always had a good time whenever you went with him to the clubhouse. He never owed you a damn thing, but it made for a nice build-up sometimes.

You had your playlist blaring through your bedroom and bathroom as you pulled clothes together, laying them out carefully on the bed. You smiled as you grabbed a towel and made your way to the shower. You took longer than necessary, but it wasn’t like you were under a time-crunch to get ready. You shaved, and exfoliated, and moisturized. By the end of it you were pruny but you felt like a whole new woman. You wondered if Angel could hear you singing over the volume of your music and also the television.

You made your way back to the bedroom and set about doing your hair and makeup for the evening. Angel never understood how you could tell the difference between all the different shades of lipstick and eyeshadow that you had, and you constantly reminded him that he didn’t need to worry about it unless he wanted to start wearing it.

Once that was all taken care of, you finally went to put on your dress. It was one that you hadn’t broken out in a while. It sat towards the back of your closet, begging to be worn. You had to be in a very self-confident headspace to wear it because it left hardly anything to the imagination. It was a slightly low-cut, very short and very tight red dress. You paired it with your favorite pair of black heels and looked yourself over in the mirror. You smoothed the dress out with a smile, telling yourself that maybe you should wear it more often.

While you were busy giving yourself a comprehensive once-over, a low whistle came from the doorway. You turned to see Angel leaning there much like he had been hardly an hour beforehand. His eyes were wide as he shook his head slightly.

“Damn, querida,” he chuckled as he walked over and stood behind you, wrapping his arms around you, “looking this good should be illegal.”

You laughed, shaking your head as you felt your cheeks get hot. All this time and still when he flirted with you it would make your heart speed up, “You’re basically obligated to say that.”

He smiled, shaking his head as he kissed the spot behind your ear, not taking his eyes off of your reflection in the mirror, “Doesn’t mean that I don’t mean it.” His hands slid down from your waist to your hips, then trailing farther down to graze along the exposed skin of your thighs, “Maybe we could stay in tonight.”

You laughed, turning your head to look at him, “You’re not serious?”

He chuckled, “What? You don’t wanna go anyway, right?” he spun you around so that you were facing him, “We could just pretend that we went to the party,” his hands roamed, sliding down your back until they were resting on your ass, “And we could pretend that we went and got a little too tipsy and—”

“And handsy?” you interrupted with a smile as you felt his hands squeeze you.

He laughed, pressing his forehead against yours, “That too.”

“You talked me into all this, and I went and got ready, and now you’re tellin’ me we aren’t even gonna leave?”

“Little bit, yea,” he smirked.

“I went and put on this dress and now I’ve got nowhere to go?” you pressed your hands against his chest.

“I know, I know,” he kissed your lips lightly, “I talked you into all this,” his lips trailed over to the side of your neck, “But now I wanna talk you out of it,” he kissed and sucked lightly on the sensitive skin there, sending a chill through your whole body.

“Hmm,” you closed your eyes as you hummed in approval, “I’m listening.”

He scooped you up, wrapping your legs around his waist as he carried you over to the bed. He laid you down gently and situated himself so he was hovering on top of you. You could see it in his eyes that there was no way that the two of you were leaving the house anymore.

“I’ll owe you two,” he leaned down and pressed a quick but gentle kiss to your lips.

“I do like the sound of that,” you said, biting back a laugh.

He smiled as he lifted you off of the mattress just enough to slide the straps of your dress down off of your shoulders. He kissed all along your neck and chest as he continued to slide the dress down off of you. You smiled to yourself as you let him, wondering how you got so lucky.

“We should just skip to this part all the time,” you chuckled as he tossed your dress to the side and peeled his shirt off over his head.

He laughed before leaning down and pressed a hard kiss to your lips. Your arms instinctively wrapped around his neck as he leaned more of his weight down onto you. when he finally pulled away you were out of breath, unable to do anything besides look up at him and wait for what was coming next.

He ran his thumb along your cheekbone before letting his hand continue to slide down the rest of your body, “We can do this part whenever you want.”

#mayans mc #mayansmc #mayans fx #mayans mc imagine #angel reyes #angel reyes x you #angel reyes x reader #angel reyes imagine #angel reyes fanfic #angel reyes fluff #angel reyes fanfiction #fanfiction #my writing #drabblesmc

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halloweenhoneylover · 4 years

Text

the closing shift

summary: coffeeshop au babey!! spencer and reader are nerds in love who also work at the campus cafe together (spencer reid x fem!reader)

word count: 2.7k

author’s note: this one’s for u, anon!!! sorry if this is lame, i normally don’t like coffeeshop au’s but here we are. also a warning: there is a lot of doctor who junk in here and also it’s incredibly self-indulgent but i don’t care :)

“So what you’re saying is you don’t like the power of love and human goodness?”

Spluttering frustratedly, Spencer frowned at you, “Of course, that’s not what I’m saying. I just think that the special effects were cheesy and the plot was sometimes a little silly!”

You narrowed your eyes at him for a moment before relenting with a sigh, focusing back on the counter you were wiping down. “Okay, fine. I’ll admit that the Slitheen really did not look good, and that maybe ‘Love and Monsters’ was one of the stupidest episodes of television I’ve ever watched, but you have to admit that Ten’s monologue in ‘The Satan Pit’ was one of the best pieces of writing in the whole show. ‘If I believe in one thing, I believe in her?’ How were you not screaming at your TV when you watched that!”

Spencer lips curled into a small smile as you continued rambling and absent-mindedly cleaning the counter. You were not doing a very good job, but he wasn’t about to stop your spiel. It wasn’t often he was on the receiving end of a ramble, and as someone who was frequently told to shut up, he would never interrupt, especially when it was about his favorite show. Especially when it was the prettiest girl he’d ever seen. No, he’d sit quietly and listen, thank you very much.

“Okay,” she brought her full attention back to Spencer. “I’ll forgive you for your horrible offence. If you take back what you said.”

She looked so intently in his eyes, so sincerely his knees wobbled a little. The full force of her attention was like the sun. He felt warm inside and out, but he might be burned from the intensity of its direct glare.

“Fine, season two of Doctor Who is not a complete abomination.”

The corner of her mouth quirked up in a satisfied smirk. “Well, thank you, Dr. Reid. I appreciate the kind words.”

He nodded, turning to the back room. He’d almost made it through the doorway before he muttered just loud enough for you to hear, “But season eight is better.”

A melodramatic gasp, and he felt a rag hit the back of his head, and he chuckled.

“You take that back, Spencer Reid!”

Making his way further in, his fingers found the knot behind his back, quickly untying and shrugging off the apron. “(Y/N), I only speak the truth. I’m a man of science, and science says that season eight is simply superior.”

You laughed along with him, murmuring grievances against this idiot genius. You reached behind yourself, fingers fumbling with the knot. After a couple unsuccessful attempts, you huffed and asked, “Hey, Spencer, do you think you could help me with my apron? I tied the stupid thing too tightly.”

He gulped, mumbling a sure thing in a way he hoped was nonchalant, but knowing himself, was anything but. Walking up behind you, he felt himself involuntarily shudder at your proximity, and he said a silent prayer to a god he didn’t believe in to try to keep his cool. You felt his fingers brush against your lower back, and you tried, gosh, you tried so hard to not audibly gasp (you’re not sure you succeeded). The brief contact unfortunately flooded your mind with thoughts about his long fingers that you had often admired (discreetly), and you thought about what it’d be like for him to touch you and for him to mean it, and you nearly passed out. The silence was deafening, which was funny because it seemed like you two could never shut up around each other, and the one time you needed to fill the tense air with something, there was nothing.

Finally finished with the knot, Spencer softly tapped your back twice with his index. “All done.” It came out as a whisper. He couldn’t have managed more.

“Thanks!” You spoke at normal volume and tried to put you back into regular conversation, but breaking the eerie quiet, it sounded like you were shouting.

He shot you a tight-lipped smile. “Are you all good to close up?”

“Yeah, I can hold down the fort,” you said rather breathlessly, returning his smile.

Slinging his backpack over his shoulder, he pushed open the back door and waved. “See you Thursday!”

“See ya.”

As soon as the door shut, you heaved a sigh of relief and let the tension out of your shoulders, staring at the ground. You dug the heels of your palms into your eyes. Why did you freeze up like that? Why was it weird when he left? Why did you like him so much?

———

Thursday was Spencer’s favorite day of the week. The dining hall stocked chocolate donuts with rainbow sprinkles on Thursdays. He had his chemistry seminar with his favorite professor on Thursdays. Caltech’s chess club met on Thursdays. He worked his shift at The Campus Grind on Thursdays.

(You worked the same shift at The Campus Grind on Thursdays.)

Did Spencer really need a job? No, his education was entirely paid for by the school because when you have a child prodigy on your hands, you should try to keep them. And he lived in on-campus housing and ate on campus, and he didn’t have a lot of other expenses. But his advisor told him that he might get something out of doing a job that didn’t require 100% of his brain power, might get to rest his mind for a couple hours every week. He might also make a friend.

What he had not anticipated when he started at one of the various campus cafes was meeting you. He showed up to his first shift and nearly choked when he saw arguably the most beautiful girl he had ever met in the backroom putting on an apron. Your eyes lit up when you saw him. “Hey, you must be Spencer! I saw our names together on the schedule a couple times, looks like we’re gonna be work buddies!”

By the time you turned back to speak to your guys’ new manager, he noticed his jaw was completely slack, and he hoped his mouth had not been hanging too long. He also blacked out too long to ask for your name, which he was internally hitting himself over. And he hazily drifted through the training, his mind barely focusing on the coffee. To say he was distracted by the girl next to him and the way she smelled like coconuts and cotton was a major understatement. Times like these were humbling for a twenty-year-old with two and a half PhDs.

He could barely recall anything that happened until they were cleaning out the espresso machine together silently, and he was struck with a sudden need. “Hey, I never caught your name…”

“Right! My name is (Y/N),” she answered, offering him a grin.

“It’s nice to meet you, (Y/N).”

Neither spoke after that, both working quietly next to each other. Spencer sighed internally, he wasn’t sure what he expected, but he hoped they wouldn’t spend the semester in silence. And like some higher power was listening to his wishes, you turned to him, “So, Spencer, what are you majoring in?”

Hesitant to scare you off, he tiptoed around the subject. “Right now, I’m studying chemistry.”

“Right now?”

He glanced over at you, and despite knowing you for the entirety of ten minutes, he couldn’t deny you or the inquisitive gleam in your eye even if he wanted to. And he didn’t want to. “I’m working on my PhD in chemistry. I already have two in mathematics and engineering. Oh, and I have two BA’s in psychology and sociology.” He couldn’t help but feel a little guilty at the dumbfounded look on your face, and he swallowed harshly. “Um, uh—what uh, what are you studying?”

You let out a brief laugh, and for a moment, he cringed, wondering if you were laughing at him. But just a look at you and the tenderness of your features, he knew he had nothing to worry about. Blowing a puff of air out, you grinned gently, “Well, your PhD’s are putting my bachelor’s to shame, so I’m not sure I want to say.”

“No, I’m sure whatever you’re studying is cool,” he reassured you.

Pleasantly surprised by the humility of your new genius coworker, you continued, “I appreciate it. I tend to err on the side of the humanities, not much of a STEM gal myself, and right now,” you both chuckled at your little joke, “I’m studying history and political science.”

“So am I standing in the presence of a future lawyer, or maybe the next president of the United States?”

“Good question, but I’m not sure. Would you vote for me?”

Squinting at you for a moment, he nodded slowly, “Yeah, I think I would. You’ve got a kind face.”

You raised your eyebrows at that, trying to suppress a blush. “A kind face?”

“Yeah,” he hummed, eyes flicking over your face. You felt shy under his gaze; it’s not everyday a hot genius boy stares you down and tells you you have a ‘kind face.’

Ducking your head, you fought a smile. “Alright, I’ll take it.”

And from then on, something clicked. You and Spencer talked for hours and hours during your shifts, joking and teasing (and grinning and blushing). He looked forward to working because that meant a chance to see you. (Except for Mondays, that was the one shift you didn’t have together, and it made Spencer want to scream. The dude he worked with, Andy, was nice enough, but the hours seemed to drag on when he didn’t have you to discuss weird sci-fi movies with.)

He was particularly looking forward to this Thursday because he knew you had a big presentation in your class about African revolution, and he wanted to hear all about it. In the brief moments of spare time at the cafe, he had helped you prepare and had listened to bits and pieces of it. This morning he’d sent you a quick good luck! text, to which you’d responded with thanks!!! and a stream of various heart emojis. He had learned early on that you were very fond of emojis, but it never stopped his heart from skipping a beat when you’d send him little hearts and smileys.

Entering the back room, he set his backpack on a hook and started to get ready for his shift. He gave a quick wave to the people from the last shift as they left, and he felt a little worry boiling in his gut because if they had left, that meant you were late, and you were never late. He wondered if something had happened in your presentation, and he was filled with dread. Solitarily manning the counter, he was ensnared in his thoughts; he couldn’t stand the idea of something going wrong and you being upset, so upset that you couldn’t come to work. He shifted uncomfortably, hand itching to grab his phone and send you a text to see if you were okay when he heard a door slam and a shriek from the backroom. “Spencer!”

Immediately, he ran to the back, expecting the worst, and he nearly fell over when you ran at him full-speed to launch into a hug. “Oof—” He recovered though, catching you, and he wrapped his arms around you so tightly and cradled the back of your head in his hand. His heart stuttered. He could get used to this.

You buried your face into his neck. “Oh, Spencer, you won’t believe it. My presentation went so well! My professor held me after class and told me I was one of his brightest students, and oh, I just don’t believe it!” He felt your face warm against him as you gushed.

“I believe it, I don’t doubt it for a second. You are so smart, (Y/N). I’m so proud of you. You deserve it.”

Breathing him in for just a moment longer, you finally released him, and both of you thought how everything feels a little emptier now that you weren’t holding each other. He couldn’t help but beam at you, though.

“Really, (Y/N), I’m so proud of you.”

“Hey, I can’t take all the credit! It’s all thanks to you being patient enough to hear me blabber on and practice, so thank you, Dr. Reid.”

He got incredibly flustered at the title and hesitated over his next words before settling on a soft anytime. And he meant it.

———

The rest of your shift that day was less eventful. You recounted some of the highlights of your presentation, to which Spencer listened with rapture. There was some discussion of who was at chess club today and if anyone there was a true match for Spencer (no one was). You played your favorite game called “Who Can Make the Most Disgusting Drink Out of Four Ingredients?” (You won with a mixture of coffee, coffee grounds, an excessive amount of salt, and raspberry syrup. (Ew, (Y/N) why is it grainy?)) And now nearing midnight, you sat at one end of the bar reading your textbook while Spencer cleaned up various mugs and napkins. He snagged the broom from the backroom and began sweeping. With a quick glance up at you focused entirely on your book, he smiled softly. Pieces of your hair had drifted out from behind your ears and framed your face, and the apples of your cheeks were flushed. To put it simply, you looked ethereal, and Spencer didn’t think it should be possible for someone to look so beautiful at the end of a long day, but here you were, always defying expectations. He thought you looked like someone from those Renaissance paintings you loved so dearly, but he knew that even if someone tried to commit your grace to canvas, it’d be to no avail. He was sure no one would be able to do you justice.

Looking down at the floor he was supposed to be sweeping, he let his thoughts wander farther. He thought about what it would be like to hold you everyday like he did today. He’d be the luckiest man on Earth, that’s what. For so long he thought about asking you out, but then he knew that someone like you would never be interested in someone like him. But then again, you were the impossible girl. You never did quite what he expected. And he never expected you to be into him. So maybe for once in his life, he’d go out on a limb and ask you if you wanted to go get dinner with him sometime. He’d take you to the Indian place on 12th that he knew you loved, and you’d sit in the oddly formal, always empty restaurant and laugh and giggle together because that’s what you always did together, and then maybe, he’d invite you back to his place, so you could watch Doctor Who, or maybe do other things (like hold hands), who knows?

He found himself praying to that god he didn’t believe in once again to find the courage as he finished up sweeping, and after he put the broom away, he walked up to you with butterflies running rampant in his stomach, so he could barely muster a glance at you. But he was going to finally do it.

“(Y/N), I —”

And that’s when he noticed that you had fallen asleep on your book. It had been a long day for you. He felt his heart grow tender and soft and if someone poked it, it very well might explode. His thoughts strayed to your conversation the other day and the quote you loved so much. I've seen fake gods and bad gods and demi-gods and would-be gods, and out of all that, out of that whole pantheon, if I believe in one thing, just one thing, I believe in her. He takes a step or two closer, and brushing a lock of hair behind your ear with the gentlest hand, he thinks, yeah. I believe in her.

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid #do people read things at 2 in the morning?#lets hope so!#bc that's the only time i write :)#my sleep schedule is not :) good :)

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ramp-it-up · 4 years

Text

Sundancer

Pairing: Rafael Casal x Reader

Word Count: 4.2k

Warnings: Minors DNI, Some pictures, Angst, Pining, drinking, explicit language, oral sex (female/male receiving), love fluff. All errors my own.

A/N: This an ask from @honeysucklechocolatedrippin from the 100 smut prompts ask list. I got caught up with this one because I went back to the Show Runner AU. I kinda love these two. Hope you enjoy. Read Show Runner.

-------

This press tour was going to be all work. No play.

Those were the strict rules that you were given.

This was the premiere film and television festival and January in Park City could be a fun, wild place and time, but you were on the clock.

There would be no open flirting, touching, or even covert fucking while the cast was there.

You listened to the lecture and smiled and nodded when appropriate.

Truth be told, you really weren’t paying attention, just waiting on your knees, naked and wet, to suck the shit out of his dick.

When he gave you permission to of course.

You were determined to suck all those stupid ideas out of his brain along with all his cum when he gave you the chance.

And Rafael was, indeed, without much coherent thought when you were done.

_____

Wednesday

That conversation was of no consequence to you four days later when you landed in Park City.

Daveed and Rafa had been there for two days and the rest of the cast was trickling in.

You gathered your bag while answering a few questions from the paps and headed to your hotel alone, following the driver who held your name up outside baggage claim to a luxury suv.

You texted Rafael that you had landed, to which he just replied, “Good.”

No, ‘how was your flight,’ nothing.

You sighed, assuming he was busy.

He had been texting you nonstop for the past three days and now he wanted to play you.

That was cool.

You relaxed as you took in the snowy scenery of snowy Park City.

You were taken to a stunning tiny little chalet at the edge of the city and halfway up the mountain.

The views were spectacular, the cute cozy kitchen fully stocked, and the fireplace was bomb.

As you took in all the antler decor, you texted Rafa again, hyped at the accommodations.

This is dope!

You made sure your cleavage was right in your v-neck sweater and took a selfie of you from above in the bedroom.

I can’t wait to be on my knees for you later.

You saw the thought bubbles, but no response.

Cool cool cool.

If that’s what he wanted. That’s what he would get. Ice.

You shook your head and looked in the refrigerator for water. You also found your favorite snacks.

Production thought of everything. You’d thank Gwen later.

You relaxed on the couch until it was time to get ready for the mixer.

The car was ready to go at 6:45, in time to get you fashionably late to the Television mixer at the Waldorf Astoria at 7.

Because of all the traffic, you didn’t arrive until 7:30, but you were chilling. You spotted your crew immediately, partly because they were the loudest.

You loved this new family you made.

“Ayyyy! What’s cracking! We thought you’d never make it. Late flight? You want a drink?”

You laughed at Daveed, seeing that he was on his way to getting lit.

“I’ll have what you’re having.”

He raised his cute ass eyebrow at you. “This grown folks shit. You sure?”

“Yes. I’m grown. I need to catch up to you! I misjudged the time to leave my chalet. What time did you all leave yours?”

“Ummmm. I walked downstairs like 20 minutes ago. The whole cast is staying here. You’re the only one staying on the other side of town.”

“Oh.”

You didn’t know what to say as Daveed turned to go get your drink.

You looked around and saw a lot of actors you’d love to work with, some you already had, and some you knew to stay away from.

You spotted Rafa’s golden hair on the other side of the room.

You weren’t going to go after him, and you didn’t need to, because some of your cast mates enveloped you and Daveed brought you a drink.

You were having too good a time to worry about Mr. Artistic Integrity.

You two circled the room, never really ending up in the same place. You finally saw him with Gwen and got a chance to talk. Rafa saw you approach. He nodded.

“Hey, Long time no see. You make it in ok ?”

You looked at Rafael for an extra beat. He’d seen you up close and personal three days ago when you’d ridden his face.

But you were an actor. You could play this game.

“Hey Casal. Yeah, I got a few hours ago.”

You turned to the logistics producer.

“Gwen! My chalet is so dope!”

She raised her eyebrow at you.

“That’s great! So, you wanted peace and quiet and away from the rest of us, ay?” Gwen laughed as you and Rafa smiled politely. You were seething.

“Trying to avoid all the parties. I get it now, although I thought it was weird that you declined accommodations.”

“You know our girl, always a loner.”

Rafael took a sip of his drink, looking at you over it. Your blood boiled but you turned and smiled at Gwen.

“Yeah. On my INFJ shit. What’s the lineup for tomorrow?”

You made small talk to avoid cussing Rafael the fuck out. He stood there for a minute, listening and being an adorable muthafukin asshole.

Other people came up and you didn’t even notice Rafa step away. But you spotted him, in a corner with that little twat Ava with the tight little body. Just his type.

He saw you stalking out of the mixer as he chatted her up.

—-

Two hours later, you were cozy in the hot tub, smoking some kush to relax, scrolling your phone.

A TMZ post from your explore page caught your eye.

There was a picture of Daveed, next to Rafa and Ava, who looked pretty close and fucking beautiful together.

The gossip site gushed over the picture of the Bay Boys, noting the ‘adorable couple’ and their mingling at the mixer and somehow sneaking in a not so subtle hint that they were staying at the same hotel.

That was the final straw. You saw it all. Rafa wanted you far away from him while he fucked this little miniature Bratz doll. Bet.

It was only midnight. You were going to get your own plastic action figure for the night.

——

Thursday

The next morning, you met up with the crew at the suite which was set up for the series press day.

You went straight to Chelsea who was set up in the bedroom of the suite.

You gave her a hug and took off your sunglasses. Your eyes were puffy.

“Damn girl. You did have fun last night. I got just the thing for those circles.”

You breathed a sigh of relief and let her work her magic.

You emerged ten minutes later and went and got something to eat and a bottle of water from the catering station set up in the kitchen. You watched D and Rafa charm the interviewer.

You took a deep breath. You could do this.

Ten minutes after that, you find yourself sitting in a chair with the cast lined up, somehow seated next to Rafael.

As the first interviewer was setting up, you got comfortable in your chair. Being a professional.

“I see you had fun last night.”

You looked over at Rafael as if surprised to see him there.

“I’m sorry?”

He smirked at you.

“I said it looks like you had fun with Michael last night.”

He held up his phone and you squinted at a post of you and your new friend, a highly sought after actor who had been in one of Rafa’s favorite movies.

The pic was from after you went back out to the club last night. You were hugged up close.

You looked in his eyes and saw that he felt some kinda way. He had some fucking nerve.

You smirked.

“Yeah. He’s really truly a dope person. Not just beauty, but brains too. I love an intelligent man. We… talked all night.”

Rafa’s smile slipped. You sat back and put on a megawatt smile for the reporter.

The entire day was filled with your secret shots and animosity toward Rafa.

You couldn’t wait to talk to him in private and tell him not to call your cell phone ever again.

Reporter: “This show has many complex relationships, and you are at the center of two of them that are just developing as the series begins. What do you do to ease into a new relationship?”

You leaned back and crossed your legs.

“That is a great question. Let’s just take an example of, say, meeting someone at... a club?”

Daveed leaned in front of Rafa and said, “This is not a true story from last night by the way.”

“Of course not,” you quickly replied and winked. Everyone laughed, everyone but Rafa.

“What I’ve found recently that works wonders is: ‘Oh my god you’re so much better than the last person I was with.’”

Everyone was dying laughing.

Rafa choked on his water. You leaned over and patted him on the back. “You good?”

He just glared at you. You shrugged and kept it moving.

“No, but really. You should start off in a relationship where you can be open and honest. There’s really no relationship if you can’t have that.”

Rafael cleared his throat, but you refused to look at him.

The press day continued.

After eight hours of interviews, you were ready to get out of there, so while Rafa and D were playing host, you managed to get out and to the car.

You were exhausted of the tension.

On your way to the chalet, Rafa texted you.

‘We need to talk.’

You huffed. Now he wanted to talk.

Well, tough shit.

You blocked his number.

You couldn’t function like this right now. You and him could break it off next week in LA. He was right, you were on the clock.

That night at the Midnight showing, you sat with Michael.

Might as well try to have some fun. The paparazzi were snapping lots of pictures with you two.

While Mike took a quick interview, you made your way to the bar alone.

“You’ve not answered any of my texts. Or my calls.”

You rolled your eyes at Rafael.

“You’ve texted and called?”

You shrugged and took a drink.

“Look. We can do all that back in Cali next week. Gotta keep it professional here, isn’t that the deal?”

You downed your drink and walked back over to Michael, Rafael boring a hole in your back.

He left you alone after that.

——

Friday

The next day and night were much the same, a cast interview and screening of two episodes during the day and another industry party at night.

Rafa being so busy made it easy to stay away from each other.

You got back to your place with a bottle of tequila about midnight.

You were flying out the next day and you should have some fun, even if it was not what you’d envisioned before you arrived in Park City.

You hated Rafael Casal.

But you refused to cry. Again.

An hour later, you looked up from your drunken haze to see Rafa standing over you.

He looked so damn good in this dream.

“You shouldn’t drink a whole bottle of tequila in a hot tub, especially alone.”

“What the fuck do you care? You’re probably fucking Ava ten ways from Sunday right now.”

Dream Rafa raised his eyebrow at you and shook his head.

“Why would I want to fuck Ava?”

“Right? Especially when you could have all this.”

You stood up, almost falling and showing off your wet, naked body. You giggled as he appreciated you, his eyes sweeping down your body.

Dream Rafa moved closer to you and grabbed your hand as you wobbled.

“Let’s get out and get you some water.”

He helped you out and wrapped you in one of the huge white fluffy robes that you’d found in the closet.

He led you to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water from the refrigerator.

You drank, your head clearing, but just a bit.

You kept staring at Dream Rafa, who was regarding you steadily, a weird look on his face.

When you finished, he walked you to the bedroom and watched as you lay down. You looked at the clock on the bedside table. It was 1:30 am.

You opened your robe and turned to see Dream Rafa in bed with you.

“How convenient. I’m so so horny Dream Boy. Haven’t had any dick since last week.”

You untied the robe and grabbed your breasts, squeezing them and rolling your nipples, arching your back.

Rafael watched you hungrily.

“Help me to get off. Fuck me, Dream lover. The real Rafa doesn’t want me anymore…”

You moved your hand down to your core and started playing in it, moaning and watching Rafa watch you.

As he licked his lips, you brought your hand up and let him taste the wetness on your fingers. He hummed, then took your hand in his.

“Not like this. I want you. Fully present and clear headed. But I want you. And we need to talk.”

He kissed the palm of your hand and covered you with the robe again.

You groaned and turned away from him.

“Even the Rafael of my dreams reject me? I can’t believe I’m in love with such a jackass.”

You didn’t feel Rafa pull you close as you started shoring.

—

Saturday

You woke up alone, mad at the sunlight. Your head was pounding.

Your mouth was parched, but you found a bottle of water on the bedside table.

You grabbed it, grateful that you got it on the way to the bedroom last night.

As you sat up and drank, you groaned as you thought back to your dream.

You had to get him out of your system.

You got up and went to the kitchen, halfway expecting to see him there.

You sighed with something that must have been relief when he wasn’t there.

You took your water and some grapes to the little kitchen bar and sat there, eating and drinking slowly with your head in your hand.

You jumped when you heard a key in the front door and stared when Rafa let himself in.

“Look who’s up. Bet you’ve got a doozy of a headache.”

You just continued to gape as he put his bags down on the counter. He handed you a bottle of aspirin.

“You’ll need these.” He put some pedialyte in front of you. “And this.”

“Wait. Did you just let yourself in? With a key?”

“Yeah. This is my chalet. I own it.”

Your mouth dropped open.

“I thought you had a hotel room.”

“I do. This is business so production put the cast up there. D and I decided to join.”

Your heart clenched at the fact he did not want you there too. What was this reality? Then you thought about the dream.

“Wait. Were you really here last night?”

You were confusion.

Rafa smiled at you.

“You want something to eat? Gotta get something in your stomach besides tequila and grapes.”

You groaned and held your head at the realization that last night was not a dream.

“Fuck. Did I say all that? Did I do all that? Out loud?”

You peeked at him through your fingers.

That smile. “Yeah.”

You were mad. He looked to fucking happy.

“Well, don’t take it personal. I was zooted. When I’m sober, I hate you Rafael.”

He frowned. “Are you sober now?”

You opened the bottle of aspirin and drank some pedialyte.

“Unfortunately, yes. Very sober.”

Rafa moved next to you.

“I’m going to come closer so I don’t have to yell.”

He tipped your chin up with two fingers.

“I can’t believe I’m in love with a fucking brat.”

You were ready to fight.

“I’m a brat? I’m a BRAT?”

You leaned back, your hands on the counter behind you to get some space from the electricity bouncing between you.

“You ignore me as soon as I land in the same city as you, and then you put me out here in this secret hideaway so you can fuck with that Ava chick.”

You closed your eyes because you’d be damned if you cried right now.

“I thought we agreed that we’d talk to each other before we tired of each other and got with other people?”

Rafa leaned close to you, caging you in with his arms on the counter beside yours.

You could barely breathe, the emotions were getting the better of you. You just wanted to kiss him.

“Who told you that I fucked Ava?”

This time you raised your chin on your own.

“No one had to tell me. I saw the pictures of you two together. I can read, Rafa.”

“Not very well in this situation, I’m afraid.”

Rafa shook his head and looked down. Then looked back up at you with those damn eyes.

“You also don’t listen. Did you even hear what I said? I just said I love you.”

You just stared at him.

“Wait… what?”

Rafa brought his hips closer to yours, standing up tall. You wanted them on you.

“I love you, you fucking brat. Why would I want Ava when the woman I love has all this.”

And he reached for you, opening the tie on your robe. He sighed as he moved his hands on your brown skin. He was home.

“I want you to listen. Listen before you jump ahead and try to argue.”

You were about to say something and clamped your mouth shut at his warning glance.

“I told you, this was work. And we agreed not to go public with our relationship yet.”

He saw you wanting to protest.

“We agreed.”

His hands spread against your stomach, thumbs on your warm nipples.

“I wasn’t ignoring you, I was controlling myself. I wanted to meet you at the airport, but the paps are swarming.”

Rafael's blue eyes were now dark.

“And I didn’t stash you away because I wanted to fuck Ava, but because this is my home and I wanted you in it.”

Rafa finally kissed you, and you took his tongue in your mouth, wanting to own a part of him. Your moan while you kissed was getting him even harder.

“And when you sent me that picture of you in the bedroom, I wanted to run over here and take you in every room, but I couldn’t. Still working. Just had to jack off when I could. To that picture.”

You moaned as his words made you drip down your thigh.

He pressed his pelvis to you and you could feel how hard he was. You took a ragged breath and forced your hands to remain on the counter.

But you looked up into those burning blue eyes. You were wet and ready.

“It was killing me knowing that you were so close, sleeping in my bed without me, naked in my hot tub without me, and that I couldn’t touch you, hold you. Fuck the shit out of you. Hear you scream my name.”

“Tire of you? God, I wish I could get tired of you. I want you all the time, I can hardly function when you’re not around.”

He kissed across your collarbone to the other side of your neck. You were definitely weak.

“I was coming over that first night, but I saw you going out. To the club. Where it seems you hooked up with Mike.”

Rafa bit down on your pulse point.

“Rafa, I…”

Rafa licked the spot he just bit.

“Shhh. I know you didn’t get with him, but you were a bit of a bitch at the Q and A day. And then you took him to the midnight screening.”

Rafa was appraising your body possessively now.

“You tried to make me think that you were with him; that he was touching you like this.”

Rafa grabbed your breasts and squeezed your nipples between your fingers. You arched into his hands.

“It was like you were teasing me.”

His hands moved down your torso and around to your ass, squeezing and pulling your cheeks apart and ghosting your intimate parts with his fingers.

“You know I don’t like to be teased.”

He released you and took two steps back, leaving you feeling bereft.

You were panting in the middle of his kitchen. You felt what it was like to be teased.

“Rafa, I’m sorry. Please…”

Rafa was two steps ahead of you. He was pulling his Oaklandish hoodie over his head. Then he shook his head at you.

He bent his head to your breast as he lifted it roughly to meet his lips. He drew your hard bud between his lips and grazed it with his teeth.

Rafa nipped and sucked your flesh roughly as he licked the fingers in his other hand and reached between your legs.

“Did you want Mike to touch your cunt like this?”

“No...only you Cash…”

He traced his fingers between your wet lips, causing you to shudder and moan. Then he started to tease your clit.

“Tell me what I want to hear. Tell me you love me.”

“I..I…” You didn’t know when it happened, but it did. “Fuck it. I love you Rafael.”

You sigh in relief and with desire as he pushed his fingers deeper into you.

He moaned softly in your ear as he pressed you back against the island.

“Good girl. Now tell me more. Tell me you love what I’m doing to you right now. Tell me you love this shit.”

“I love it so fucking much,” you squeaked, holding on to his shoulders for dear life, your nails digging in.

As he pumped his fingers, you wriggled and started to grind against his hand. As you wriggled more, he cursed under his breath.

“Fuck! Stay still.”

His tongue licked up and down your neck as his hand went faster and faster, playing you like an instrument.

You were getting so close, and Rafa could feel it. So he stopped and stepped back again, panting while he tasted his fingers and leaving you quivering and emotional.

You refused to beg, but he knew what you needed.

“I want to punish you for not listening to me and your heart, but I can't because I’d be punishing myself.”

He walked toward you again, put his hands on you and slid down your body as he knelt before you.

Rafa looking up at you like that made you fall in love all over again.

He leaned forward and kissed your lower lips oh so tenderly. Then, he licked them, and you had to hold on to the counter again. Then he started talking.

“I’ve been hard for you ever since you texted me that you touched down.”

He kissed each of your thighs and lifted one up and rested it on his shoulder. You were not ready.

“I was so pissed off all day. Until I saw you that night.”

Rafa lightly licked a long stripe between your legs.

He pulled back and looked at your pussy, as if entranced.

“But, I stayed away from you at the mixer because I knew I would drag you to a bathroom and bend you over the sink…”

Rafa slowly rolled his tongue over your slit. You held your hand over your mouth as you watched him.

He looked up at you and chuckled.

“No close neighbors. Let me hear you.”

He sighed as he looked at you again.

“I wanted to take you in the bedroom at the suite during the press day and put your ankles around your ears to dig out that attitude.”

Rafa licked you again, making you tremble and moan loudly.

“I decided to come and give you an ultimatum last night, but I get here and you were so cute and drunk and said that you loved me.”

He graced you with a smile. You smile back and brush his hair out of his eyes.

“I know you said that I don’t own you. But you own me. Body and soul. I’m starving for you.”

And then he dove in, making you gasp as he eagerly parted your lips with his tongue and started to flick it back and forth over your clit, grasping your ass and your leg to support you and keep you in place.

This time he didn’t stop. He licked and sucked and swiped, his head moving back and forth as he ate. He did it until your eyes rolled back into your head and you were screaming his name. He increased his pace and intensity until you were a quivering, moaning mess.

You come on Rafa’s face in the middle of a ski chalet in Park City, Utah.

You were still quivering as you watched him stand up, take off his shirt and wipe his face with it.

“So, you can take your flight back to LA in a couple of hours, or you can stay until Monday and we can be seen together tonight. In public.”

Your face lit up as he led you to the bathroom. You were catching on.

“And we will be ‘good friends’ for a few weeks until we let on.”

“Now, you’re listening.” Rafa was smiling wide now.

“Wait, does Diggs know about us?” Rafa started taking off his pants. You needed what was inside.

“Nevermind. I know the answer, Jackass.”

You ignored Rafa’s laugh as you began to make up for lost time.

-------

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pi-cat000 · 3 years

Text

BNHA: Kakashi dimension hops crossover (4)

Summary: Kakashi gets dumbed into the My Hero Academia universe through random plot devise.

Characters: Kakashi Hatake

Fandoms: My Hero Academia and Naruto

WARNINGS: Mentions of violence/injury

START / PREV / NEXT

Doctor Wada makes an unscheduled appearance the same morning. Kakashi has the doctor’s schedule memorised and knows the man usually spends his first work hour in his office before checking in with various patients. The change is not unexpected.

“Ms Iori finished her rounds, marked everything as normal and handed the ward off without incident.” Wada and one of the floor’s morning shift nurses talk, voices lowered, too quiet for a regular person to pick up.

“It was called in around 4:15 am. We confirmed it as a burst blood vessel behind his quirked-eye, but we don’t know what triggered it. Without examining the eye itself it is hard to draw any definite conclusions. Since we don’t know what his quirk does, we didn’t want to risk staff safety without a specialist on hand.”

“Nothing else? No other symptoms?” Wada asks.

“No external bleeding. No signs of irritation around the eye socket. Clear, coherent verbal responses from the patient. Vitals are stable. The dressings on the eye were changed yesterday, and nothing was flagged then either.”

“I see. Thank you.”

Depressed at the thought of what amounted to a forced long-term infiltration mission, Kakashi’s attention drifts away from the hushed conversation. Kakashi has never been assigned to any extended infiltrations. Long, tedious things that they were. Jōnin were usually too valuable to waste on them. Even before he had made jōnin, his skillset lent itself to tracking, assassination, ambush and one on one combat not undercover assignments. It was just his luck -or maybe it was karma-that he had been shunted into one. Three years of ‘mingling’ amongst these soft-acting civilians, waiting to build enough chakra for an attempt at a technique he wasn’t even sure would work. It was enough to make even the most battle-hardened shinobi depressed.

Maybe he should run off and hide somewhere. He would skulk around for three years avoiding the locals. Less of a hassle that way. Kakashi lets out a weary breath.

“See if you can bump up that MRI. We need to make sure this isn’t anything serious,” Wada’s voice breaks through his musing as the doctor starts in the direction of Kakashi’s bed. The nurse he is talking with nods and leaves.

“Well, you have certainly had an eventful night,” Wada greats when he draws near, leaning in to visually scan Kakashi, “Let’s see what we have going on. Can you close your left eye for me so I can unwrap it?”

He habitually pushes down his natural discomfort at having a stranger close to his sharingan as the doctor reaches to tilt Kakashi’s head to the side for better access. If he was going to be stuck here then he should maintain his complacent, harmless persona. At least, until he leaves the hospital. Besides, if they had wanted to hurt him, they would have done it while he was unconscious.

“No swelling around your quirked-eye and the bleeding has stopped, that’s a good sign. We’ll run a few tests and get to bottom of this, not to worry.”

“Yeah. About that,” Kakashi rubs the back of his head to look sheepish and apologetic, “I might have tested out my, eh, quirk. You know…I wanted to see what it would do…”

There is a beat of silence, the older man drawing away, too surprised to respond.

“I think it lets me memorise things it sees?” Kakashi continues. Even if he wasn’t 100% sure about what he would do next, he is not about to abandon his shaky amnesia cover story.

“Of all the reckless, irresponsible decisions!” the doctor snaps out of his surprise moving straight into anger, “I expressly told you to wait and not to mess with it. You had no idea what sort of quirk it was! What if you had injured someone or yourself.” The concern seems pretty genuine and Kakashi almost feels bad for manipulating him.

“Young people these days…honestly. No patience.”

Young? It had been a while since anyone has called him that. Kakashi is practically ancient by shinobi standards. The response prompts a semi mournful, almost amused sigh from him, “I know, I know. I just wanted some sort of clue as to how I got here.”

The doctor takes a frustrated breath, calming “Yes. I know it’s frustrating, being restless and hold up in this bed for three straight weeks, but there is a procedure to these things. You got lucky that the only side effect was a burst blood vessel. Next time you want to test your quirk we’ll make sure it is in a controlled environment with an expert on hand. I don’t care if you have some sort of passive regeneration, quirks can be dangerous. The hospital has offsite testing facilities for a reason.”

“Yes. I understand. I won’t do it again,” he says dutifully and gets a huff of disbelief and a head shake.

“You better not.”

A pause.

“So.”

“So?” Kakashi raises a brow.

“So what did you discover? Explain it to me again.” Wada motions, impatient, repositioning a nearby chair so he can sit comfortably beside the bed.

“It lets me remember things…” Kakashi had given a lot of thought to what he wanted his fake ‘quirk’ to do without giving too much away, “I’m pretty sure I remember anything it looks at perfectly.”

A somewhat true explanation, in that recoding information and prefect recall was one facet of the sharingan; a side effect of its primary function which was to copy ninjustu and taijustu. The explanation also played into the diagnosis Wada had already written into his medical files, making it more believable.

“Then, lucky for you, something good came of your reckless behaviour.”

Kakashi just smiles which elicits the beginnings of another lecture. “Not that you should ever take quirk safety lightly. Quirk licenses exist for a reason. People can’t go about throwing their quirks around willynilly. A licence, I might add, that you don’t have.”

“Sorry. Sorry.”

After witnessing several televised reports on police arresting people for quirk misuse Kakashi knows the people here, for whatever reason, are leery when it comes to using their abilities. To the point where they actively outlaw it. He is banking on Wada being sympathetic enough not to push the matter.

Wada sighs again, “I’ll write it up as accidental use this time. Now. If your quirk lets you remember everything perfectly then what about your past memories. Any change on that front?”

“No. Still gone.”

“I see. That might mean the part of the brain linked to its memorisation function was damaged, disrupting the memories stored by the quirk,” Wada rubs his chin thoughtfully, “We’ll have to run a few more tests…a lot easier now that we know what it does I suppose.” Good. That was the conclusion he wanted Wada to come to.

“Alright, before we get to testing, were there any other side effects. Aches, pains, fatigue?”

Even as the man asks, he is pulling out a familiar penlight to shine in Kakashi’s regular eye.

“No. Nothing.”

What follows is his standard check-up routine. His vitals are recorded, his head checked over, the area around his sharingan examined thoroughly. Again. Well, as thoroughly as it could be examined without uncovering it. Next is an inspection of the chest wound he now knows is from Obito alongside a glance over his shoulder, arm and leg. Wada nods to himself as he goes, signalling that all is well.

“Your blood pressure is a little high for my liking. I’m guessing you didn’t sleep much last night what with how you were messing around with your quirk. Make sure you get a good night’s sleep tonight,” Wada instructs as he fits Kakashi with a padded eyepatch instead of the usual wrap of bandages. He pauses to wait for a nod of confirmation.

“I will,” he blatantly lies. Kakashi hasn’t had a proper night sleep since waking up the first time, dozing for shortened intervals only. With so many squishy doctors around he doesn’t want to accidently hurt one of them should he be woken from a nightmare. It did put additional strain on his body.

Doctor Wada peers at him, “We’ll give you another week of monitoring then get some authorised quirk testing done. A brain scan as well. Depending on what we find, we’ll see what we can do about getting you a diagnosis and then discharged.”

“Hmm,” he answers, noncommittally. Not like he has anywhere else to go until then. If this were Konoha, he would have taken off long before now and seen to his remaining injuries alone. This would be the first time in a long while that he is waiting for an official discharge.

Guess he would be finding out how the hospital dealt with amnesiac patients after they healed. In Konoha, a displaced citizen would be given a menial labour job as part of the village’s many reconstruction projects and sent on their way. But this wasn’t Konoha and he should really stop with the comparisons.

He needs to decide what he wants to do: Take off, find somewhere secluded and wait the years out. Or hang around to try and salvage the situation. This world did have a lot of interesting technology so there might be value in getting a better feel for the society here. Maybe he would find something useful to take back as an apology for abandoning everyone…

What a mess this all was.

...

The following week has Kakashi splitting his time between gathering supplies for a chakra storage seal and reading through Wada’s patient files to get a sense for his upcoming quirk tests and ‘brain-scan.’

He also takes the time to read through everything else Wada has in his office - mainly medical journals - to better understand the biological differences inherent in a place without chakra. Primarily, the people were physically weaker. However, there were a lot of mutations or ‘secondary quirk factors’ which reinforced the body to better deal with the stress of the primary quirk. All interesting and potentially relevant information to remember when he got into fights. Once he knew a person’s quirk he would be able to guess how their body was reinforced and act accordingly. A fire quirk would make someone naturally heat resistant but not impact resistant, is what Kakashi concludes as he re-reads the profile of current number two hero ‘Endeavour.’ The magazines gifted to him by Iori all contain a statistical breakdown of the top 10 heroes, their strengths, weaknesses, and their criminal apprehension and crime prevention rates. It is a list that rarely changes between issues. He commits it all to memory, idly planning out combat strategies that didn’t involve obvious ninjutsu or chakra use. It helps pass the time when he is not trying to make sense of what he sees on television or stalking various people around the hospital.

At the end of the week, he steals Wada’s fountain pen, adding it to his growing pen hoard which he stashes in a vent on the roof. The storage seal he wants to make is complex and would need ink to complete. A mix between a chakra-draining-seal-trap and a storage scroll, it is well on its way to completion.

The seal would drain his chakra at a consistent and manageable rate, store it efficiently, and give him a way to turn the chakra drain off and on at will. Also, as a precaution, he includes an emergency stop in case his chakra levels became dangerously low, so it didn’t accidentally kill him if he fell unconscious.

The seal would need to be positioned somewhere on his body in a spot where the doctors wouldn’t immediately notice. He doesn’t what to explain why he suddenly has a tattoo. If he had had access to properly made fūinjutsu ink, the seal would be invisible. Alas, he would have to make do with chakra-infused pen ink.

Kakashi manages to keep himself busy enough that he expertly avoids making any concrete decision on what he wants to do with the next three years.

Note: this is slowly turning into a medical drama

#bnha #naruto #CrossOver #my hero academia #hatake kakashi #kakashi headcanons #dimension travel AU #fanfiction #world building #culture shock

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lesfeldickbiblestudy · 2 years

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Through the Bible with Les Feldick LESSON 2 * PART 4 * BOOK 66 BUT GOD! (Confirming the Promises) – Part 4 MATTHEW 16:15 – But whom say ye that I am? Again, for those of you out in television, we want to thank you for your prayers and your letters of comfort. I mean, they are just a thrill to read. 99 out of 100 are so thrilling and show that the Lord is opening His Word and hearts. That’s all we really want to do. So, how else can I put it but that we thank you out there. Well, let’s buy up the time and get back into God’s Word. I think that in this half-hour we’ll just continue where we’ve been all afternoon. I didn’t intend to do this. I thought I’d be on another ‘But Now’ by now. But this is too important to leave hanging by a thread, so I’m going to stay with it through this next half-hour. We are showing how Peter had an understanding, when he made his profession of faith back there in Matthew chapter 16 at the end of the three years of earthly ministry, when he said, "Thou art the Christ, the Son of the living God." Peter knew that Christ fulfilled all of these promises that God had made to the Nation of Israel concerning this coming King and Kingdom, and that He’d be a Redeemer as well as Messiah. All right, now Israel rejected Him, according to God’s Divine purposes, and God raised Him from the dead and called Him back to glory. Now the Twelve are left in a dilemma, they don’t know how long until He will return and bring in this glorious earthly Kingdom. They’re still hoping and they have this hope because He’s alive! He’s not in the tomb, He’s alive, and He is at the Father’s right hand. According to Psalms 110 verse 1, when He had all of His enemies like a footstool, which would come at the end of the Tribulation, He would return. And when He returns, He would bring in this glorious Kingdom. Of course, I think these men had the idea that it was still going to be in their lifetime, until they got nearly to the end. Now we know that Jesus implied that Peter would suffer death, but you know, we’re all prone to put these bad things aside. We just sort of forget about them, and I think Peter was the same way. He’d forgotten all about that until he got to the end of his life, and he suddenly realized that Christ was not coming in his lifetime, and that he would be a martyr instead. But, let’s pick him up again in Acts chapter 2, and Peter is fired up that the hope of Israel is the return of their crucified, resurrected Messiah, but he doesn’t associate one iota of salvation to it. And that’s what I want people to see. Just watch the language. He does not say that by believing in the death, burial, and resurrection of Christ they would have a salvation experience, as is the requirement for us today in this Age of Grace. It was only by believing who He was. That was the crux of the Kingdom Gospel, to believe that Jesus was the Christ. The Law and everything is still in place. There is not a word, not a word, that they were to stop temple worship. Not a word that they were to stop keeping the Jewish laws of food and what have you. Not a word that they were to stop Saturday Sabbath keeping at the Synagogue. So be aware of that. It’s just not in here. All right, so we were down to about verse 24 of Acts chapter 2 in our last half-hour. Let’s move on to verse 25 and see how Peter is referring his readers constantly back to the Old Testament prophets, because like Paul said, He, Christ, was the minister to the Nation of Israel, to fulfill the promises made to the fathers. And Peter is honing in on this. He’s reminding them that this is all as a result of fulfilled prophecy. Acts 2:25-27a "For David (in the Psalms) speaketh concerning him, I foresaw the Lord always before my face, for he is on my right hand, that I should not be moved: 26. Therefore did my heart rejoice, and my tongue was glad; moreover also my flesh shall rest in hope: 27. (He’s quoting, literally, the Lord Jesus Himself in His death and burial, and so He says…) Because thou wilt not leave my soul in hell,…" That was the paradise side.

Remember that Luke shows us torment on one side, paradise on the other. Jesus did not go into the flames of torment like some teach. He went into the paradise side. I always tell people, what did Jesus tell the thief on the cross? Today thou shall be with me in the flames of hell? Did He? No. That’s what some teach you know. Famous people are saying that. No. He said, "Today thou shalt be with me in paradise." Paul makes it so plain in Ephesians, "but what is it that he descended first and then ascended up, taking captivity captive." He didn’t go into the lost realms of hell. He went into the paradise side of that area called Hell, or Hades, and took those believing Old Testament saints with him up into paradise, which is now in Heaven. All right, so he says again: Acts 2:27 "Thou will not leave my soul in hell, (in the paradise side) neither wilt thou suffer (permit) thine Holy One to see corruption." His body never had one iota of corruption in those three days. Not a bit. All right, now verse 28, it’s still from the pen of David, but remember, he’s putting the words of the Lord Jesus Himself in prophetic form. Acts 2:28 "Thou hast made known to me the ways of life; thou shalt make me full of joy with thy countenance." Now verse 29, Peter comes back to the reality of his own day, and he says: Acts 2:29 "Men and brethren, (fellow Jews) let me freely speak unto you of the patriarch David, that he is dead and buried, and his sepulcher is with us unto this day." David was not raised and gone up to glory. He was speaking of the Christ. All right, now verse 30: Acts 2:30a "Therefore being a prophet,…" Now most people don’t usually speak of David as a prophecy writer, but he was. He wrote a lot of prophecy. Especially concerning the crucifixion. Psalms 22 is graphic, we’ve used it on the program. Acts 2:30b "…and knowing that God had sworn with an oath to him, that of the fruit of his loins, according to the flesh, he would raise up Christ to sit on his throne;" All right, now in a few words, what’s that telling us? The House of David, that royal lineage that began with King David and came all the way down to Christ’s birth at Bethlehem, this was all in the promises made to David, out of the fruit of his loins, out of his genealogy, the Christ would come. I always use two lines, because you’re got the genealogy of Joseph, His legal father on one side, and you’ve got the genealogy of Mary on the other side, and they culminate with the birth of Christ. That’s the House of David coming to fulfillment. All right, that’s what Peter is showing. It was all prophesied that beginning with David’s bloodlines Christ would come on the scene and would one day sit on David’s throne. Now verse 31, if you think I’m pulling your leg. Acts 2:31-33 "He seeing this before spake of (What?) the resurrection of Christ, that his soul was not left in hell, (again in the paradise side of hell) neither did his flesh see corruption. 32. This Jesus (this Messiah, this Son of God) hath God raised up (from the dead), whereof we are all witnesses. 33. Therefore (Peter says) being by the right hand of God (Not on God’s throne) exalted, and having received of the Father the promise of the Holy Spirit, he hath shed forth this, (On this day of Pentecost in Jerusalem, the Holy Spirit has come down.) which ye now see and hear." Now he comes back to David again. He says: Acts 2:34-35a "For David is not ascended into the heavens: (David’s remains are still in the tomb.) but he saith himself, the LORD said unto my Lord, sit thou on my right hand, 35. Until…" I always make the point, that’s a time word. He’s going to sit at the Father’s right hand until it’s time to return to planet earth. That won’t happen until He has defeated all of His enemies, which will take place, of course, in the seven years of Tribulation. Acts 2:35-36a Until I make they foes thy footstool. (That’s Psalms 110 verse 1.) 36. Therefore (Again, watch the language.) let all the house of Israel…" Now, that’s a double-barreled statement.

How many people today are still teaching that there are only two tribes of Israel left? That the ten were lost and disappeared? Well, then Peter could not say "the whole House of Israel," that’s only two-tenths. But they are all here. In fact, I told one of my callers the other day, I’d risk my whole ranch - cattle, machinery, the whole shebang - on the fact that I think all twelve tribes are already represented in Israel, right now today. I think we’re that close to the end. When the two witnesses appear and it’s time to choose 144,000 young Jewish men, twelve thousand from every one of the twelve tribes, I think they’re all ready to go. Now, that’s my own take. That’s all it’s worth. But ten tribes did not disappear. They had all been migrating down into Judah over the years. Yes, what was left the Syrians took captive, but that was only a small remnant of the whole. The rest were already back down in the environs of the temple and Jerusalem and the two tribes. So, when the Babylonian captivity came in, all twelve tribes were represented. When you read Ezra and Nehemiah, it’s so obvious that when they came back to Jerusalem, all twelve tribes were represented. So, don’t believe this garbage that ten tribes are gone and there’s only two left. Then this whole Book would fall apart, because Revelation says as plain as day that there has to be twelve thousand from each one of the twelve tribes. Well, that can’t happen if ten of them are gone! Now back to verse 36, the whole House of Israel, every Tribe represented. Acts 2:36 "Therefore let the whole house of Israel (How many Gentiles? Not a one. He doesn’t include a Gentile. This is a Jewish message.) know assuredly, that God hath made that same Jesus, whom ye have crucified, both Lord and Christ." Now remember, the word Christ is what again? Messiah. He doesn’t stop the potential of being the Messiah of Israel. The crucifixion was something that God pre-planned for the salvation of mankind. But it didn’t affect His Messiahship. Peter is not recognizing anything pertaining to the death, burial, and resurrection, except that Israel in unbelief rejected Him and killed Him, but God proved His power by raising Him from the dead, and He can still bring in the Kingdom. We’ll show you that in the next few verses. All right, verse 37, of course they begin to have second thoughts. Well, Peter, you’re proving that we did it. We killed our Messiah. Then you come to the end of verse 37, and naturally they ask: Acts 2:37b "…Men and brethren, what shall we do?" The Nation. They’re in a dilemma. They’ve rejected their Messiah. They killed Him, but God raised Him from the dead. So now, what do we do? That’s logical, isn’t it? Look at Peter’s answer. Acts 2:38 "Then Peter said unto them, Repent, and be baptized (Yes, that was part of the Kingdom message.) every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for (the forgiveness or) the remission of sins, and ye shall receive the gift of the Holy Spirit." Now, we did it on our Aegean Cruise. I laid it out just as plainly one night in our Bible class, that here we have Peter’s process for salvation, laid out as plain as English can make it. "Repentance. Water baptism. Forgiveness of sin. Then the Holy Spirit." It is as plain as day. But then when he gets over to the house of Gentiles, poor old Peter was all shook up. It didn’t work that way. While he’s still preaching in Acts chapter 10, the Romans had become believers! God had forgiven them. The Holy Spirit came upon them, and not a drop of water had touched them! Boy, that puts a lot of preachers in a dilemma even today. Well, Peter was up against the same thing. So, what’s the first thing he says, hey, we’ve got to baptize them – after the fact. Here in Acts chapter 2, Peter makes it so plain what the Jew had to do to have salvation, having rejected their Messiah. He doesn’t associate anything about the shed blood. Not a word of that in here. Not a word about all the power of resurrection for their salvation.

But it was believe in the One you rejected, repent of it and be baptized, and you can have salvation. All right, now if you doubt me, let’s go on a little further. Chapter 3, now he’s going to heal the lame man, and the language hasn’t changed a bit. Acts chapter 3 verse 12; he’s just healed the lame man at the gates, or the door, of the temple. Acts 3:12-15a "And when Peter saw it, (the consternation of the Jewish people) he answered unto the people, (Now watch the language.) Ye men of Israel, (Not a word about Gentiles) why marvel ye at this? (this healing of this lame man) or why look ye so earnestly on us, as though by our own power or holiness we had made this man to walk? 13. The God of Abraham, and of Isaac, and of Jacob, the God of our fathers, (Any Gentiles in that term? Not a one. Can’t be. He is talking to a Jewish situation.) hath glorified his Son Jesus; whom ye delivered up, and denied him in the presence of Pilate, when he was determined to let him go. 14. But ye denied the Holy One and the Just, and desired a murderer to be granted unto you. 15. And killed the Prince of life,…" My, he’s laying it on them, isn’t he? Now you talk about a guilt trip. That’s a guilt trip. But it was true. They were nationally guilty. But what was their remedy? Repent of it. That’s why repentance was so imperative here. I guess I’ve got time. I’m going to explain. I have people calling all the time. They get upset because I do not maintain you have to repent to be saved today. Paul doesn’t teach it. And the reason is because they’re trying to use these verses in Acts and hammer it home today. Well, you see, Israel had every reason in the world to repent. They had killed their promised Messiah. You and I are not responsible for that. In fact, I always have to think of a long time ago. We won a fellow to the Lord who was probably as ungodly as they come, in every category of life. And he was gloriously saved. Sometime later he said, "You know, Les, something bothers me. I keep hearing all the time you’ve got to repent, repent." He says, "I never repented when I got saved. And he said, "I didn’t realize there was anything to repent of." He said, "Everything I was doing came naturally." I said you’re right. That’s exactly the way it is. We don’t have a great big conviction of sin, because we’re not aware of all these things. We’re just doing what comes naturally in our lost estate. So, Paul doesn’t require repentance. Paul requires only one thing and that is what? Believe it! Faith in that finished work of the cross and His resurrection. Now then, here’s where I get back at them. Yes, as soon as you believe the Gospel of salvation, and God works the work of salvation in your heart and life, what are you going to do? You’re going to change direction. You’re going to repent, if that’s the word you want to use. But, to use it for salvation today, it’s as wrong as wrong can be, because, again, repentance is a ‘work.’ You can make up your own mind that, hey, I’m going to change my life. I want to do different. That doesn’t save you. But I’ll tell you what, when the Holy Spirit comes in and He makes a difference in your life, then you don’t have any trouble changing direction. So, don’t fall for this stuff that if you haven’t repented, God can’t save you. Israel knew where they had gone off the deep end. They had killed their Messiah. They had to repent of that and that in particular in order to obtain salvation. But for us, we believe it, as we are going to see before the end of the half-hour, and then salvation comes in, and then we’re going to change our direction, or we’re going to have repentance. All right, let’s continue where we left off in Acts chapter 3. Peter has healed the lame man, and he’s still dealing on Jewish ground. Now then, he comes down to verse 16, and he’s explaining how this lame man had experienced physical healing. And he says: Acts 3:16a "And his name through faith (in His death, burial and resurrection? Is that what your Bible says? Faith in His what?) in his name hath made this man strong,.

.." His name! And what did the name imply? He was the Messiah. And we come right back to square one. What was Peter’s confession of faith? "Thou art the Messiah." That’s all. It’s no different here. This lame man believed who Jesus was, and on that basis God healed him. Not a word about death, burial, and resurrection. Not a word about shed blood, yet. It’s all in believing who He really was. All right, come all the way down to verse 19 again. Acts 3:19 "Repent ye therefore, (It’s the same scenario. Repent of having rejected your Messiah.) and be converted, (have a change of mind, have a change of direction) that your sins may be blotted out, when the times of refreshing shall come from the presence of the Lord;" Now, he’s not talking about the glorious Christian life. What’s he talking about? The Earthly Kingdom. If Israel had repented, Israel, to the last man, would have come into this kind of salvation. Now look at verse 20, what would God do? Acts 3:20 "And he shall send Jesus Christ, who before was preached unto you:" And what was He preached as? The coming King. God would fulfill it IF Israel would have repented and become a believing Nation, but they would not. But that was the whole idea, repent of having killed your Messiah, and if you do it to the last Jew, God will send Jesus Christ to yet bring in the Kingdom. All right, verse 21, Peter knows, according to the Old Testament, that even as prosperous as, what is the word I’m looking for? As a possibility that this was, yet Peter knew that there was one seven-year interval that they still had to go through. What was it? The Tribulation. The Nation of Israel would have to go through the Tribulation, because that was prophecy. You can’t kick parts of prophecy out under any circumstances. God has to maintain all these things. So, Peter says in verse 21: Acts 3:21 "Whom the heaven must receive (That is when He ascended to sit at the Father’s right hand.) until (There’s the time word. He would have to stay in heaven.) the times of restitution of all things, (or putting everything back as it was in the beginning) which God hath spoken by the mouth of all his holy prophets since the world (ages) began." And what was it? That after these horrible seven years of wrath and vexation, Christ would return and the earth would be made as it was in the very beginning in the Garden of Eden, and the King and His Kingdom would become a reality. And these people thought that they were going to live to see the day. They thought it would just be a matter of seven, eight, nine years, and it would all be culminated. They had no idea that it was going to be pushed out into the future for 2000 years. All right, now let me bring you on down in this same chapter 3 to verse 24. He says: Acts 3:24 "Yea, all the prophets from Samuel and those that follow after, as many as have spoken, have likewise foretold of these days." Why does he mention Samuel? Because Samuel is in the time of David, and David is when these promises really began to be understandable. All right, now he says in verse 25. Acts 3:25-26 "Ye are the children of the prophets, (Now that doesn’t include Gentiles. There’s not a Gentile involved in Peter’s thinking.) and of the covenant which God made with our fathers, saying unto Abraham, And in thy seed shall all the kindreds of the earth be blessed. 26. Unto you first God, (That is the Nation of Israel.) having raised up his Son Jesus, sent him to bless you, in turning away every one of you from his iniquities." That was the promise. But did they do it? No. They rejected and they rejected. When Stephen makes the final appeal in Acts chapter 7, they stoned Stephen, and then we’re introduced to the other side of the coin, which we now call the Gospel of the Grace of God, and who is it? Saul of Tarsus. My, it’s beautiful how Scripture just keeps unfolding. All right, go back with me to Acts chapter 7 and we have the stoning of Stephen. You’re all acquainted with that. Now come into chapter

8 verse 1, and here we’re introduced to the next major player on God’s stage of Biblical history. Acts 8:1 "And Saul was consenting unto his death. (Stephen’s) And at that time there was a great persecution against the church (assembly), which was at Jerusalem; and they were all scattered abroad throughout the regions of Judea and Samaria, except the apostles." The Twelve didn’t go out into the world preaching the Gospel. They stayed in Jerusalem. What are you going to believe? Christendom? Or the Book? Well, the Book says they stayed in Jerusalem. All right, now we’ll just make one quick reference to it. I’m going to bring you over to I Corinthians chapter 1. I only have a few seconds left, so we’ll do this quickly. Now, whereas Peter said, "Repent and be baptized every one of you." Look what this next apostle writes to the Corinthian Church and to you and I today. I Corinthians 1:17-18 "For Christ sent me not to baptize, but to preach the gospel: not with wisdom of words, lest the cross of Christ should be made of no effect. (Now here it comes.) 18. For the preaching of the cross is to them that perish foolishness; but unto us who are saved it is the power of God." What a difference! Now you see, all Paul knows is that salvation comes by only one way. Believing the Gospel he presented in I Corinthians 15:1-4

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slasherholic · 4 years

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Essay: On Michael Myers and Muteness

A little foreword: This essay is in response to a sentiment I’ve noticed circling in the slasher community for some time. While nobody, to my knowledge, has been outright accused or attacked about this, I do find it concerning how eager some are to spew hate when confronted with people who don’t share their specific ideas of how a fictional character should be viewed—especially when those ideas have very little ground to stand on.

This essay will cover common sources of psychological mutism, and examine how they apply (or don’t apply!) to Michael’s character, to determine the most likely cause for his mutism.

Disclaimer: I have no formal education in the field of psychology. All information presented is taken from case studies and the dsm-5.

Let’s begin with some definitions to clear up a few misconceptions.

Selective Mutism.

Selective mutism is defined as the consistent failure to speak in specific social situations in which there is an expectation for speech, despite speaking in other situations. (DSM-5, pg. 195)

Selective mutism can be diagnosed only when a child has an established capacity to speak in some social situations (e.g., typically at home). Selective mutism is not the consequence of trauma, neglect or abuse—it is strictly an anxiety disorder.

Progressive Mutism.

Selective mutism may develop into progressive mutism. (Note—progressive mutism does not appear to be mentioned in the DSM-5, but it did show up multiple times while I was researching selective mutism. Take the following with a grain of salt.) Progressive mutism is when a child becomes mute in all settings, with all people, even at home. It occurs due to heightened stress within their environment, or by way of negative reinforcement—for example, if an adult tries to help the child out by “speaking for them” during an episode of mutism.

Traumatic mutism.

Traumatic mutism is sudden mutism following a traumatic event (e.g., the death of a loved one).

Note: There are a great many other causes of mutism resulting from psychological factors, ranging from autistic spectrum disorder, to dissociative disorders, to schizophrenia—but considering how we don’t know enough about Michael’s backstory to say whether he is affected by any of that, I’ll be staying away from explanations requiring heavy speculation.

Alright! We have our definitions. Now, let’s see if any of these would apply to Michael’s case.

(Of course, the only interpretation of the character where his muteness even needs an explanation is the “Michael has a mental illness” take—which, again, is just one possible way of many to view him. The mindset that Michael must be unwillingly mute excludes the most canon-compliant take on the character—that he is just evil. Obviously, a Michael who is “just evil” chooses not to communicate with others because he doesn’t fucking care.)

Option one:

Michael is selectively mute. He suffers from an anxiety disorder. He is physically unable to speak under certain circumstances, but, by definition, he is able to speak under other, more comfortable circumstances.

Why it isn’t likely: There is no evidence in canon to suggest that Michael suffers from an anxiety disorder. Zero. You simply won’t find it. If you want to label Michael as ‘selectively mute”, by all means, do so—everybody has the right to their headcanons! But please, understand what you are saying by using that label; that Michael does not suffer from total mutism. There are situations where he can speak, and there are situations where he cannot.

Option two:

Michael is selectively mute, and his muteness has advanced into progressive mutism.

Why it isn’t likely: Again, for this type of mutism to occur, Michael must have first had selective mutism. We are not told enough of Michael’s background to speculate about whether he suffers from any sort of anxiety disorder, and I doubt we ever will be. While this explanation for Michael’s mutism is technically possible, to treat it as immutable fact would be nothing short of dishonest.

Option three:

Michael is totally mute as a result of trauma. Whether from the shock of murdering his sister, or being suddenly separated from his family, some traumatic event triggered an episode of mutism that Michael never recovered from. He is now permanently mute.

Why it isn’t likely: Let’s get one thing straight—this view of mutism is a Hollywood bastardization.

The trope in which a character is rendered permanently mute due to trauma/psychological factors may be popular in movies and television, but in real medical cases, this idea holds little merit.

“While cases of mutism have occurred as a result of a child being abused or emotionally or physically traumatized, it seems to be very rare. I have not yet seen such a case, where a child spoke normally until a traumatic incident and then stopped speaking.” (https://www.selectivemutismfoundation.org/knowledge-center/common-myths)

“While it is possible for a child to become mute after a traumatic experience, usually the child avoids talking about aspects of the trauma itself, rather than becoming completely silent.” (https://childmind.org/guide/teachers-guide-to-selective-mutism/what-is-not-sm/)

Of course, this is not to say that trauma-based mutism does not exist. It is a documented occurrence, and it inarguably does.

However; to insist that Michael must have been rendered completely, irreversibly mute due to childhood trauma, and that his mutism persisted for the next 55 years, (2018 Michael is 61,) is not a medically feasible claim. This trope works fine in a fictional setting, but please, acknowledge that this attitude is more rooted in fiction than fact. I scoured case-studies on psychological mutism for hours, and was unable to find a single occurrence of something comparable happening. It is statistically more likely that a person who is mute for this long is making a conscious effort not to communicate. Which brings us to the final explanation:

Option four:

Michael can speak, but willfully chooses not to.

It should not come as a surprise that this is the only explanation for Michael’s mutism that can be sourced by canon material. Dr. Sartain, whose entire job it was to observe Michael’s behaviors, concluded that his patient was indeed capable of speech, and that his mutism was self-imposed. In all brutal honesty, the mental gymnastics required to get around this statement is pretty damn ridiculous; and to knock others for not performing the same mental gymnastics is even more ridiculous.

This explanation is further evidenced by the 1978 novelization of Halloween. (Which, I don’t personally view as canon, but I know of some who do, so it is worth mentioning.) In the novel, Michael continues to speak normally up to a year after his institutionalization. There is no mention of a traumatic event at the sanitarium that might have triggered his muteness; the closest we get is the near-death of a girl at a Halloween party, but it is very heavily implied that Michael was responsible for that incident—and all because the girl beat him at musical chairs.

Simply due to the evidence we have, this option is the most likely explanation for Michael’s mutism. (For those interested, I go more in-depth about this interpretation of his mutism in this essay.)

But! All of this speculation is ignoring the fact that Michael Myers is a fictional character. His behaviors cannot be studied in a medical setting, by a medical professional—meaning that he cannot be diagnosed with psychological mutism in the first place. If you are one of the individuals trying to claim that Michael is undeniably afflicted with any of these forms of mutism, or any other mental illness, etc. You are wrong. That is not how psychiatric diagnosis works. The absolute best we can do is speculate.

So here it is, plain and simple:

If you hold the belief that Michael Myers must be fully, 100% incapable of speech due to psychological factors, and insist that your viewpoint is the only valid one, not only are you ignoring the ambiguity of this 40-year-old franchise, not only are you ignoring the massive potential for individual interpretation, but you are also fundamentally wrong. You are perpetuating false, or highly simplified information about psychological mutism, and you are trying to apply that false information in an ambiguous fictional setting. Please get off your high horse.

The takeaway: Michael’s mutism has many possible explanations.

Due to the fact that his background is not extensive enough to supply us with a set-in-stone answer, it is irresponsible to insist that any explanation is “the right one”.

So headcanon Michael as mute. Headcanon him as fully capable of speech. Headcanon him anywhere in between. I can’t believe this needs to be said, but you have the right to enjoy this ambiguous piece of fiction however you want—and nobody can tell you that you are wrong for doing so.

Thanks for reading.

#michael myers #slashers #essay #writing #horror

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