#and then got my ear chatted off about whatever it was and i listened and engaged the whole time

[timeisacephalopod]

On a lighter not family drama note I've actually gotten quite good (for me anyway) with kids thanks to my sister having 3 (and the other four from Void who will never be in my life again because I have standards) so I figured maybe I don't dislike kids so much now.

Enter my poor youngest niece, she's about a year and a half old, and I can't blame the poor lil thing for being cranky after a long week of I think 4 or 5 different Christmas celebrations at my sister's family on her dad's side, her fiancee's family Christmas, my sister's Christmas with just the kids, and then our family Christmas and I know I'm missing one. But poor girl was BOUND to cry a bunch and be whiney, I mean I would be at nearly 30 if I had to do all that in a week even if I DIDNT have to work so I get why she was a cranky bug. But I did learn I am not any more equipped to deal with small children than I ever have been the poor kid was driving me NUTS and my sister was so patient and good with her and I was like yeah. No kid deserves me as a parent lmao, I'll continue with my cats 😂😂

[lordprettyflackotara]

noise || ben drowned & jeff the killer || maid!reader || (𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝓵𝔂pasta au)

SMUT MINORS DNI 18+. tw: threesome, jeff’s an asshole, dom!jeff, soft dom!ben, humiliation, spanking, face fucking, you take a trip to paris, facial, orgasm denial, bondage

If your past self could’ve asked your current self how you had gotten in this position, you weren’t sure you could’ve provided an answer.

You were currently bent over on Ben’s bed, knees tucked to your chest as your hands were handcuffed behind your back. A silk blindfold was secured around your eyes, making everything you possibly could’ve seen now invisible. Jeff had asked Ben to tie you up before he got there, no longer in the mood for a chase. Now you had to silently suffer, listening to Jeff and Ben chat nonchalantly. Your cunt was soaking, your previous orgasm covering your slick. They chatted about you as if you weren’t there, the thick smell of weed indicating to you they were smoking.

“Yeah and then, she came on my dick without permission dude,” Ben finished, his story one full of the raunchy and explicit details of your affair with him. He handed Jeff back the blunt, Jeff’s preferred method of smoking. The pale killer chuckled darkly. “Funny that she’s that much of a brat, everyone around here loves to praise her,” He commented. The two watched you squirm, the handcuffs preventing you from doing much of anything at all. “You ask me we could probably find many more just like her. Ones that are more obedient too,” Ben replied. They grinned sadistically as you tried to clench your thighs to create some sort of friction. Jeff exhaled the smoke, passing the blunt back to Ben. “Maybe we should ask Slender for a new maid. I think this one is broken,” He snickered. This really got you going, the pleas falling off of your lips before you could stop yourself,

“No no no please, i’ll be good. Please just touch me. Use me.”

The boys exchanged devious looks as they approached you, Ben in front of you and Jeff behind you. You didn’t recognize Jeff’s large and rough hands, but you knew it was him by the sharp slap he delivered to your ass. “You gonna be a good whore then? Huh? Let us use you until you break?” Jeff huffed. You nodded profusely, Ben’s hand picking your chin up off of the mattress. “Whatever you want. Just please. I need this. I need you. Both of you,” You cried, silently cursing the restriction of the blindfold. You sighed in relief as you felt the bed dip, the clinking of belts music to your ears. Jeff ran two fingers up your slick, grinning devilishly at the sight of how wet you were. "I see you had fun disobeying Ben," He mused. You swallowed, licking your dry lips. "I-I didn't mean to, it felt so good," You explained. Jeff delivered a sharp slap to your ass, causing you to yelp in pain.

"I didn't ask you to speak, did I? Shut her up Ben," Jeff barked. You rolled out your tongue, Ben teasingly slapping the tip of his cock against your cheek. You whimpered as Jeff delivered another slap to your ass, your skin turning visibly red. "Arch that back for me slut," Jeff ordered. You arched your back as best as you could, your wrist scraping against the metal. Ben slowly slid his cock into your mouth, as Jeff teased and prodded at your cunt. He purposefully avoided your clit, exploring your folds delightfully slow. You whined around Ben's cock, the vibrations making Ben groan. "Such a warm mouth, fuck," Ben panted. Jeff grabbed the mounds of your ass, forcefully splitting them open. "I have an idea. Let's play a game," Jeff suggested. Ben shoved himself in deeper, his cock sinking into the back of your throat. Tears flooded your waterline, the blindfold soaking up the droplets. "You need some discipline slut. Since you like cock so much let's teach you in a way you'll understand," Jeff chuckled darkly. Your clenched around nothing in anticipation, forcing your jaw to go slack.

"Every time I spank you, you're going to count. If you don't or lose track, I think i'll fuck your other hole, got it?" Jeff asked. His thumb ran over your puckered hole, causing you to shudder from fear and arousal. You nodded profusely, Ben's cock sliding in and out of your throat. The first smack made you fall forward in a pathetic attempt to get away, your nose buried in Ben's bush. "One," You said, Ben's cock muffling you. It continued like that, each slap from Jeff getting rougher and rougher. Your skin was becoming tomato red, sensitive to the touch. Jeff teasingly traced the mound of your ass, watching you quiver. Meanwhile you were struggling to continue deep throating Ben, becoming light headed from the lack of oxygen. You weren't able to protest anything, Ben's cock relentless as it pounded into your throat. Jeff finally grew impatient, rubbing his tip up and down your slick.

"You're lucky i'm feeling kind today doll. Now shut up and take this dick," Jeff huffed. The pale killer was anything but gentle, slamming his cock inside of you. You struggled against the handcuffs, Jeff not giving you anytime to adjust to his girth. Momentarily Ben pulled out of your throat, grinning as you gasped for air. Your moans rang off of Ben’s bedroom walls, Jeff fucking you mercilessly. Ben smeared the remnants of saliva on his cock on your cheek, soaking in your sinful noises as Jeff pounded into you. “F-fucking shit, too much,” You whined, your wrist beginning to burn from digging into the metal of the handcuffs. Ben grabbed your chin, your blindfold finally being ripped off. “Too much? Cmon pretty princess we’re just getting started!” Ben said, giving you a devilish smile. Jeff relished in the feeling of your gummy walls clinging to his cock, milking him dry. “You’re gonna take it and you’re gonna like it,” Jeff grunted. His fingers dug harshly into your hips, you knew you were guaranteed bruises tomorrow.

You whined as Jeff’s balls slammed against your clit with each thrust, another orgasm boiling in the bottom of your stomach. Ben stuffed his cock back in your mouth, snickering at the sight of you fighting against your handcuffs. “Loosen up your jaw for me,” He panted, weak in the knees as your mascara trailed down your cheeks. The boys were relentless, pounding you from both ends. Jeff could sense you were about to cum, his evil grin curling upwards even wider. “Awe are you about to cum on my cock slut? Does taking two cocks at the same time really get you off?” He questioned. Your response was muffled by Ben abusing your throat, your thighs trembling as you attempted to hold back your orgasm. You didn’t want to give Jeff the gratification by cumming on his cock. Yet your body was betraying you, each thrust bringing you dangerously closer and closer to the edge.

“I think she’s holding back. Stupid slut doesn’t want to cum,” Ben commented. Jeff delivered another sharp slap to your ass, before abruptly pulling out of your cunt. You whimpered at the loss of friction, the pale killer watching your cunt clench around nothing. “You don’t wanna cum? Fine then, don’t cum,” He barked. He joined Ben’s side, the blonde removing his cock from your throat. You gasped for air, both men standing before you with their hard cocks begging for attention. “Stick out your fuckin tongue,” Jeff growled. You flattened your tongue across your lip, staring up at both of the men. Your heart was beating a hundred miles per hour, your smeared mascara now dried across your cheeks. Both of them pumped their cocks in front of your face, panting as they did so. “Fuck, gonna cum,” Ben sighed, aiming his seed to paint your tongue. The taste of salt danced across your taste buds as his warm cum slid down your tongue. “Keep that tongue out,” Jeff sneered. Ben’s cum traveled down your tongue, dripping onto the bed below. Jeff grunted your name as he came, purposefully aiming his seed to shoot across your face.

Both boys were quick to button themselves back up, leaving you a filthy and wet mess. “You know we forgot to get Helen a birthday present. His birthdays tomorrow,” Ben mentioned casually, as if they didn’t just take you to paris. You would’ve began to clean yourself up, if the fear of what they’d do to you if they disagreed didn’t scare you. So instead you felt Jeff’s warm cum settle onto your face, little droplets of Ben’s dripping off your tongue. “No worries dude, I have the perfect bday gift,” Jeff replied. He took out his phone, turning on the obnoxious flash and snapping a picture of you. He tapped away at his phone, before giving you a devilish smile.

“Better pack your bags sweetheart. You’re gonna spend the night at the Trenderman mansion.”

[webslingingslasher]

what if peter calls her annoying for doing soemthing so she geniunely stops

peter remembers the conversation vividly.

'do you mind if i play a game?'

'no.'

'are you sure? cause if you wanna do something now's the time to say it.'

'no, you can play.'

you told him he could play, and you didn't even sound the slightest upset. he must've read that wrong, because while he's trying to focus on killing and not dying, you're chatting up a storm.

peter figured after the third barely there half acknowledgement you'd figure it out, but no. not even when he cut you off to shout something to a teammate. it was the third missed shot and he just really wanted you to stop talking.

it's nonstop and about nothing important. shit about people he doesn't know, or people he has a faint recolection from. his team was about to pull through, but you had to call his name to make sure he was listening to some bullshit about whoever and whatever and he fucking died.

'jesus fucking ch- what?! you do this every fucking time, i asked if i could play, you said yes. i asked if you minded, you said no. yet, every time you sit here and try to have a fucking conversation with me.'

as if he didn't dig in far enough:

'you're fucking annoying.'

ouch. ouch, ouch, ouch.

'i'm sorry.'

ouch, 'you're fucking annoying.' ouch, ouch, ouch.

a heavy sigh, peter rubs his eyebrow. 'yeah, i'm sure you are.' you want to shink into nothing, he made you feel so small in three words.

'you're fucking annoying.' ouch, ouch, ouch.

'i am.' it's timid, peter sighs again, this time at himself. 'i know you are. i'm sorry, i shouldn't have yelled at you. i was doing good and got distracted, i'm sorry and it's just a game.'

peter was sorry he yelled, not sorry he called you fucking annoying. no, that part he meant. it was obvious. 'it's okay.' you feel robotic, but it was your fault he lost his game. you're the one that told him he could play.

peter looks at you, his face scrunched. 'it's okay? i raised my voice at you and it's okay?' you nod, 'yeah. i distracted you.'

sure, that's what he said, but it's not what he meant. 'hey, don't sweat it. if i was a better player that wouldn't have happened, if anything you might just make me better by talking my ear off.'

'you're fucking annoying.' it still stings. you plaster on a smile, it's missing from your eyes. 'yeah, maybe.' peter winks, he bought it. or he just doesn't want to deal with it, you're fucking annoying anyways.

'you can play another round, i won't bother you this time. i promise.' and you don’t. not a single word, you just endlessly scroll on your phone and let peter celebrate his team win.

a cluster of kisses. ‘i had total focus and i set a new record. be proud of me, please.’ you smile, it hurts to know that your silence made him win. that’s how fucking annoying you are.

‘super proud, handsome. feel free to keep playing.’

it doesn’t feel right to peter, normally you’d be begging for attention or coercing him into cuddles. instead, you’re shrugging him off.

‘are you-‘

‘yes. i’m sure.’ twitter and instagram are boring. but you don’t want to be fucking annoying.

peter gives another kiss. ‘you’re the best, trouble. don’t forget it.’

you’re the best… and you’re fucking annoying.

you won’t be anymore.

———

peter’s won every single match this week and it stopped feeling good. and as he’s aimlessly wondering, half hoping to be killed, he realizes he hasn’t heard you in a little bit.

‘hey, trouble. what’s up? talk to me.’ he misses the soft chatters and gentle pokes when he loses focus on you. he misses you bidding for his attention.

‘nothing.’ you glance up to the screen, ‘don’t get yourself killed.’ peter shrugs, he doesn’t care how this match ends. instead, he moves from his chair to the bed with you.

‘c’mon, talk to me. tell me about your day or um, what’s that girl? the one with choppy highlights?’ you flip a page in your book, ‘harmony.’

‘yeah, her. what’s new with harmony?’ he moves into your touch, you slowly nudge away. ‘nothing.’ a multitude of things, actually. harmony is someone who has the life only a writer could make up.

‘i find that hard to believe, you’re always talking about her.’

you’re bitter with your words, but how dare he make it seem like he cares. ‘i did, but not anymore since im fucking annoying.’

peter looks at you, you’re choosing to avoid eye contact even if he knows you’re re-reading the same paragraph over and over. ‘you’re not annoying. who told you that?’

oh, you stare at him. you burn the glare of a thousand suns into his eyes, a moment of rage when you picture his head exploding.

‘you did.’

peter throws his controller down, he’s shot instantly. there’s not even a peek at the screen. ‘i did?’ his mind is counting back, when and the most important, why would he say that?

‘you said and i quote, ‘you’re fucking annoying.’ so don’t sit here and pretend you want to hear my stories or whatever. you’re a fucking liar and you think i’m annoying.’

in the time it takes to blink, peter’s grabbing your book away and forcing you to look at him. ‘i didn’t mean it. you’re not annoying, not now, not ever.’

you push his hands away. ‘you do. you apologized for yelling at me but not for calling me annoying. you said it and you meant it.’

‘i’m a sore loser with a big mouth. i don’t think you’re annoying, i’ve never thought you were annoying, and i never will think you’re annoying.’

you don’t buy it. he sure seemed to enjoy your silence for the past week and you tell him that. ‘no i didn’t. you think because i don’t say something, i don’t know it’s happening. i knew you were more quiet and less touchy, but i figured you were really into your new book- not that i hurt your feelings.’

it’s nice to know your efforts weren’t for nothing, but you still feel a sting in your heart. ‘you said i always bother you, and that i do that every time you play.’

peter shakes his head, he’s doing everything in his power to make you toss this idea you think he has about you. ‘i worded it wrong, that’s on me.’

‘what i meant-‘ peter tugs on your knee, you can’t escape his eyes if you tried. ‘what i meant was that it feels like you want my attention most when i’m in the zone and super concentrated. i love that you want to talk to me or sit with me, i just want to win a game too, that’s all.’

you sniff, a threat of a cry if he tries something like this again. ‘so, you don’t hate me or find me fucking annoying?’ peter frowns, he hates that he caused a mental breakdown of sorts behind the scenes over something he didn’t even realize he said.

‘never ever. you’re my girl, trouble. i’m an idiot who doesn’t deserve your passive aggressiveness. next time i act like that, feel free to throw the controller at my head.’

it comes way too quick, you’ve been waiting for this. ‘deal.’

[saleeba]

payback ; jude bellingham

summary ♡ you're not happy with the little amount of attention your boyfriend is giving you so you decide to take matters into your own hands. jude shows you the consequences.

pairing ♡ jude bellingham x fem!reader 

content ♡ 18+, smut, bratty!reader, hard-dom!jude, blowjob, exhibitionism (???), some praise, light degradation (another rough bj sceneeeee i’m never beating the slag allegations 😓) 

a/n ♡ requested by this lovely anon ; i am SO glad i’ve finally got it out omg only took me 9 bloody months 😩😩 this is one of my lazier works only bc i needed to get smth out asapp before i start a new term at uni but i hope you all enjoy <33 (not proofread so pls forgive all the mistakes! 🫶🏽)

there’d been hubbub coming from jude’s office ever since you got home in haste with your work bag burdening your arms and a tingle between your legs, mind made up on getting jude into bed as quickly as you like and riding him beyond the sunrise. the noise had become increasingly common recently as you found him spending more and more of his free time in that same office, the calling of his name from your lips being replied to with rapid click-clacks of the game controller and bantering shouts down the headset instead of his signature yes, baby? nobody could blame you for being upset that he was essentially more interested in those damn games than he was in you, his girlfriend of multiple years. 

the throbbing between your legs is growing to be overbearing now, and you need your boyfriend badly — need his fingers to stop pressing those stupid buttons and press against the puffiness of your clit instead. desperation pulls you towards the office’s half-open door and then inside, where jude is sitting, his eyes laser-focused on the blaring screens before shouting a displeased fuck off! to no one in particular as the monitor displays a message of GAME OVER, headset thrown down to the desk in exasperated resignation.

“juuuude,” you step into the role of needy girlfriend as fast as he dons the headset again. “are you finished now?” you’re hoping he turns around to see your oscar-worthy performance of painting on a pout and bambi eyes but his eyes are still drawn into the graphics of guns and warzones in front of him and he doesn’t even spare a glance your way.

“juuuuude!”

“one minute, babe, just need to get this high score then i’m done.” he’s still not looking at you and you can tell you guys are barely in the same reality, his every sense preoccupied with this stupid game. there’s no way he’s going to be getting that done in one minute nor is he ending it there — you’d be lucky to see him exit the room after three hours, probably having played through 5 more rounds and hopped onto another game. he was being so annoying and unfortunately, it was doing nothing to douse the flames in your core. 

and so you decide to kick your plans up a notch. if he won’t listen to you, fine. but he would never ignore the feeling of your skin on his, would he?   

jude’s busy chatting about tactics and skins and what-not with the friends he’s playing with and you occupy yourself by letting your hands run over his ears from behind — removing those pesky headphones — then his shoulders then down to the toned expanse of his jumper-clad chest, keeping your touch tender and unassuming to start with, lips finding their way to the shell of his ear — right before they leave a teasing kiss that barely ghosts over his skin.

“i need you, jude,” you whine, an inspired streak of the ‘damsel in distress’ in your performance now. “please, baby.” your hands are running down more shamelessly, fiddling with the zip of his trousers whilst his fingers falter at the controls. 

“y/n…” he tentatively warns and the way he says your name tells you that messing with him right now will have dire consequences. whatever gets me cumming tonight, you think to yourself; the urgent necessity to have him between your legs is far more dire. jude dares to simply slip his headset back on and focus on the game in hand. 

stepping up your own game and feeling that little bit more daring, you push his gaming chair back, letting the wheels do their job as you tuck yourself in under the desk, a look of disapproval on jude’s face for you as the muffled sounds of voices come from under his ears give the glint of a cruel idea forming in your eyes.

“and what do you think you’re doing?!” jude hisses out as your fingers find a route back to that zip on his trousers, pulling it down and taking his cock out of his boxers faster than he can say anything else. 

“stop me if you want.” you smile cheekily, eyes still doe-ish and feigning concern, before tapping the dark tip of his dick on the slickness of your tongue, savouring the almost-instant way he hardens in your hands. the grip he has on the controller seems harder, veins nearly ready to burst when you dip his head into the gaping of your mouth. 

you take the absence of him arguing against this as an incentive to carry on, to wrap your lips further down his length and really drive the message home with a tightening of your cheeks once the tip reaches the access to your throat. 

“fuck, baby…” jude tries his hardest to let only whispers escape his lips but he forgets the fortune he spent on getting this high-quality, high-sensitivity headset as he’s met with worried questions from his mates, all asking if he’s okay and about what’s going on. his spluttering reply of “u-uh, oh, nothing, i’m fine” has you catching on to the fact if you were really feeling brave, his friends would be able to hear every sound that the both of you make. 

you distract him with the tiniest of kitten licks on his tip, small enough to keep him focused on his game but rapid and desperate enough for you to not hand over victory before your gameplan is finalised with its last stage…

you’d normally struggle to take him in all at once, his girth being almost always too much to handle, but there’s a fire lit inside you tonight and you feel like you could take on anything to cool yourself down, including having a go at deepthroating jude in one go — all of the sake of fucking with him in the presence of his friends. 

it’s difficult, you’re not surprised because you don’t think you’ll ever get used to his size, but you do make it in one sweep of your mouth, the muscles of your throat immediately constricting around the intrusion of his thickness, and jude nearly jumps out of his seat. the loudest groan you’ve ever heard him make escapes his lungs and he lets his fingers slip off the controller before that menacing GAME OVER lettering covers the screen. you can hear the jeering and taunting from his mates as he hastily takes off his headphones, the microphone attachment laying just centimetres above where you’re smirking up at your boyfriend, chest heaving and mouth gracelessly wet from the amount of spit it had to create to be able to form its attack on jude.

inquiries are coming from the headphones over jude and his whereabouts, the occasional “jude, you alright, bro?” filling the stand-off-ish atmosphere you’ve found yourself in as the man in question looms over you, now stood up before his hands clasp onto your head.

oh, you’re in for it now. 

“open. now.” he orders, not waiting for an answer as his tip slides past your lips the millisecond they part and you feel yourself instantly choking around his shaft when he pushes it all the damn way to the column of your throat. “this is what you wanted, right?” you hawk and splutter over the concrete-harshness of his cock as he begins his counterattack on you.

the twisted part is that you want to say yes, you have been wanting this. you’ve been thinking about the heftiness of his dick inside you — any which way, in any hole — since the morning, on your way to work, throughout work, on the way back. this is secretly your self-gifted reward for being so patient. 

“had to act up like a needy slut, didn’t ya? couldn’t even wait, could ya? always so fucking greedy, baby.” you’re whining your fake protests around the spearing movement of his cock, nails scratching at his thighs in an attempt to find some grounding, some sense of reality around you, trying so hard to not cum from the pussy-drenching harshness of jude’s words. 

“you wanted my mates to hear everything, didn’t you, sweetheart?” you weren’t exactly being quiet then so neither is he now; you wouldn't be shocked if his friends couldn’t look you both in the eyes next time you meet. “wanted them to hear how good you suck me off, how good you take me — wanna get them all jealous, huh?” 

you’re teary-eyed now, nose doing all the work in keeping oxygen flowing around your body, for you would’ve passed out from the constant ramming of thick, heavy cock inside your mouth and that combined with the white-hot words from jude’s lips? you fear it’s too much, legs spreading in their kneeled form, fingers reaching to soothe the pulsing of your clit. 

“don’t you fucking dare.” jude shuts that idea down quicker than it can come to life. “you don’t get to be a greedy girl and still have it your way, angel.” 

you don’t want to deal with the fact that you may be out of your depth right now, having unlocked a little bit of a darker side to jude. is it bad that you want it to invite it in and have it show itself to you in its full glory? 

jude slips himself out of the warmth of your spent mouth, your jaw doing its best to relax itself before he pats your cheek quite heavy-handedly. 

“c’mon, baby, remind me again of how you can be a good girl and maybe you can have it your way.”

[cupcaketeddybehr]

when your credit card declines pt. 2

featuring: gojo, geto, and sukuna!!! sorry the storylines are all so drastically different LOL i made gojo's a meet cute 😅 also i've never written for sukuna before so i really hope you guys like it!

here's part 2 as promised! thank you so much to the lovely lovely @luvxoxo for the request!! ILYSM!!

for anyone who has a request/just wants to chat, my ask box is open!! (please please please please send me requests)

tags! <3 : @itawifeyy

Gojo

you sigh as you peer through the pastry display case at your favorite cafe. you came as soon as you got off work, but it doesn’t seem like you came early enough. with fifteen people in front of you, you’re sure that the three boxes of kikufuku, your favorite sweet treat, are going to disappear by the time it’s your turn. after dealing with annoying, entitled clients for the entire day, this brings your mood to a new all time low. unsure of what you’re going to end up ordering, you stay in the line, hoping that some kikufuku will be magically left by the tine you get to the front.

the man behind you doesn’t make waiting in the line any easier. either talking to himself or talking to someone who barely responds to him, he’s talking at a volume that’s making your ears ring. you have no choice but to listen as he excitedly gushes about the progress of his students at whatever school he teaches at. you assume that it’s the nearby jujutsu school you used to attend as a child. you feel the gusts of wind his exaggerated hand movements create on your neck. eventually, one of them end up accidentally smacking the side of your head. you turn around to yell at whoever's behind you when you make eye contact with the most beautiful man you’ve ever seen. you take in his expressive blue eyes and perfectly styled white hair. you’re wondering how he looks this good after a long day of work.

you two stare at each other a bit until the black-haired man next to him, who you assume is his friend (weird because you haven’t heard him talk the whole time), smacks him and hisses, “satoru, apologize”

satoru blinks and says, “oops, sorry, i didn’t mean to hit you,” still not breaking eye contact.

all anger suddenly leaving your body, you shake your head, “it’s okay” you stare at him a little longer, both of you waiting for the other person to say something. when neither of you do, you turn back around, a bit disappointed. maybe you were being delusional.

you drag your feet as the line in front of you gets shorter. you hear people shoving each other behind you, and you hold back a giggle.

“shut up, suguru”

you hear the two shove each other back and forth, careful not to hit you or anyone else with their antics.

when you get to the front of the line, you look into the display case again to look at the leftover kikufuku. to your disappointment (but not your surprise), there are none. turning to the cashier, you ask, “do you have any more of that?” as you point to the empty platter labeled “kikufuku”

she shakes her head, “sorry, all we have left are kikufuku pre-orders”

you frown, continuing to look at the display case, hoping to find something worth buying.

“you can have some of mine” satoru says from behind you. he looks at the cashier and asks her to bring his pre-order out from the back.

“no, it’s really okay i-“ you stop mid-sentence as you see the cashier come out of the kitchen with more kikufuku boxes than you can count. you can’t even see the top of her head. you look at suguru, who has his hand over his eyes, embarrassed. “i take it back.”

satoru laughs, “you can have a box!”

“ONE BOX? YOU HAVE SEVENTY”

“BECAUSE I PREORDERED”

you huff, ‘i guess… thank you, satoru”

he beams at the sound of his name, nods, and goes to look at the other pastries, asking suguru if he wants anything. currently, his eyes are only on the sweets in the bakery.

you take a glance at him as the cashier asks you to swipe your card for the box of kikufuku. you fish for your card in your wallet and then tap it on the machine.

“sorry, could you swipe that again?” the cashier asks. you panic and wonder how much money you have left in your account.

satoru suddenly looks away from the pastries and looks at you, “why are you paying?”

you’re confused, “i’m buying the box? if you don’t want me to anymore its fi-“

he steps beside you, asks the cashier to add a few more other sweet treats, and tells her to add your tab to his. “do you want anything else?”

“why are you being so nice to me?”

“maybe i want to take you out on a date” he says. “also- i never got your name”

“yes! uh- i mean, i’d love to” you grin, “and my name’s y/n”

he smiles and dumps the seventy boxes of kikufuku and bag of pastries on his friend. “suguru, hold this.”

grumbling, suguru takes the boxes and bag as satoru pulls out his phone.

“can i have your number?”

you nod, taking his phone and typing in your number and name with a little heart next to it.

“wanna come with me to this kikufuku shop tomorrow? i haven’t tried it yet” he asks.

“didn’t you just buy seventy boxes?”

suguru peeks out from behind the boxes, “he’ll be done with these by tomorrow.”

Geto

you walk through kyoto’s don quijote superstore with your boyfriend, suguru, on the phone. wandering the aisles searching for cheap peripera and romand lip oils and glosses, you can’t help but notice how shiny suguru’s hair looks through the screen. you swear that it’s reflecting light, sheen glistening as he moves around the house.

“sugu?” you begin, “did you change your haircare routine?”

he rubs the back of his neck with his hand, “noooooooo”

you gasp, betrayed. “you changed it and you didn’t tell me? is that why your hair looks so much better than mine right now?”

he doesn’t even try to argue that your hair is on equal footing, “maybe” he says, as he looks anywhere but you.

you glare at him through your phone, “we literally share the same hair care products. what have you been using?”

“i have a secret stash that i take out when you’re not looking” he sheepishly admits. “satoru told me that your hair looked better than mine the other day.”

you sigh, knowing how suguru is when it comes to his hair. “really, sugu? you’re letting your hair come between us?” you pout, jokingly. his entire ego relies on the appearance of his long black locks.

he laughs, “sorry, angel, my hair and i have a special relationship”

you roll your eyes, knowing that he would buzz his hair off if it meant saving you from a life or death situation. but that was the condition. you had to be on your deathbed. “can you at least tell me what products you’re using?” you beg.

“i use ten different products.”

“WHAT. you must be joking.”

he walks up the stairs and pans his phone camera to the stash of haircare products he’s apparently been keeping under the bed. your eyes widen as you spot every single one of the ten products. among them are hairbrushes, hair oils, dry shampoos, combs, and hair ties (the fancy spiral ones that don’t leave dents).

“why do i feel like this is the equivalent of you cheating on me”

he laughs, “baby, you’re being dramatic.”

“suguru. remind me which one of us keeps a secret stash of hair care products under the bed because he’s too scared to be tied for best hair?”

he clicks his tongue, “fine… i’ll help you find the products. but not all ten”

“why can’t i just use yours?”

“they’re mine.” he says possessively. “but i promise to help you find some.”

you grumble as he gives you step by step directions to the shampoo and conditioner aisle. apparently, he knows the way to the hair care aisle by heart.

when you flip the camera over, he points to the viral &honey shampoo and conditioner. “get that, angel. it’s a really good brand”

you two spend about thirty minutes picking out hair oils and hair masks before you’ve just about had it. “suguuuuu this is too much work” you whine.

he laughs and starts walking towards your garage. “i’ll be there in ten, okay?”

he arrives exactly ten minutes later and you take on a mindless, drone-like state, letting your boyfriend do all the work for you. you watch him as he squints at the labels of all the hair care products, making sure that they either contain or don’t contain a bunch of ingredients you can’t pronounce.

when it’s time to check out, you’re walking hand in hand to the cashier when he starts massaging his temples, “shit, i forgot the new tsubaki hair mask i wanted. i’ll be right back, okay angel?”

“okay sugu! get me one too!”

after looking at the ten person line, you decide that you might as well queue to save time. apparently, people move faster than you thought, because you’re at the front of the line with everything on the conveyor belt. you feel like your parent just left you at the cashier.

panicking, you glance behind you at the long line of people. no way you’re getting back in that. you decide to just tell suguru to come back another day for the hair masks. you double check the total and swipe your pink credit card on the machine.

“i’m sorry, could you try that again?” the cashier asks. you look at the screen and pray that the bold “DECLINED” message is just an error. when you go to swipe again, your card is snatched out of your hand before it’s even halfway to the machine.

“sorry i took so long, angel. i had to fight people for the last two hair masks.” suguru explains. “also- didn’t i tell you to call me whenever you’re buying something? you shouldn’t have to spend your money on anything.”

you breathe a sigh of relief, “usually, i would offer to pay… but i think i’m broke”

suguru stifles his laugh, “remind me to transfer money to your account when we get home, baby.”

you giggle and kiss him, “you’re the best!”

a week later, your hair starts looking a little shinier than his and the cycle begins again.

Sukuna

after admiring sukuna’s tattoos for months, you’ve finally psyched yourself up enough to get one.

you hold his bicep still as you color around his black markings with sharpie while he’s quietly eating his extremely rare-cooked (was it even cooked? you have no idea) steak. “kuna? what tattoo do you think i should get?” you ask as you hand him your phone.

he scrolls through your “tattoo” pinterest board with a look of distate. “these wouldn’t suit you, brat”

you frown as you glance at the pins he’s looking at. you had been hoping to get a cute little studio ghibli linework tattoo on your arm. “why not? I think they’re really cute.”

“something else would look better. those look weak and pathetic.”

you start to get annoyed when he takes a sharpie from your pile and takes hold of your arm. “kuna… what are you doing?”

“drawing your tattoo, obviously” he grumbles. he seems to be annoyed at the fact that you consulted pinterest before him.

the pen strokes on your arm lull you to sleep as sukuna draws all over your forearm, elbow, and bicep.

thirty minutes later, he flicks your forehead to wake you up. “i’m done, brat”

you yawn groggily as you take in the masterpiece on your arm. it’s an entire sleeve of beautifully drawn flowers.

“kuna… this is beautiful.”

“i know” he says, “it suits you.”

you grin at him, “awww thank you, kuna”

he nods, “you can look up the meanings of the flowers later.”

MEANINGS? your boyfriend knows the meanings of flowers? you know that he gardens, but you didn’t know that he loved flowers this much. “i love you so much! you’re so cute!” you squeal while you throw your arms around his neck.

“ditto… and don’t call me cute.”

you tug on his hand and pull him to the car, “let’s go!”

before you know it, you’ve been laying down on the tattoo bench for almost two hours. the piece is huge, and you’re sure that you’re going to be here until they close. sukuna sits beside you, brushing his long nails through your hair and squeezing your free hand with his other hand every time you wince.

at some point, tears are falling down your face. sukuna yells at the tattoo artist to get out while he wipes the tears from your face and kisses your forehead repeatedly. “you can do it, just a little bit more. it’s going to look so pretty on you”

you nod, squeezing his pointer and middle fingers with your hand.

when the tattoo artist walks back in, sukuna shoots him a glare before returning to his original position. an hour later, he’s stroked your hair so much that you’ve fallen asleep.

when the tattoo artist pokes your shoulder to wake you up, you take a moment to admire the beautiful spread of flowers on your arm. as you turn to tell your boyfriend, you realize that he’s fast asleep on the chair. now that you’re looking at him, you have no idea how he fit into that chair to begin with.

you quietly make your way to the counter to pay, trying not to wake sukuna. when you pull your credit card out of your wallet, it somehow suddenly goes flying right into sukuna’s hand.

he walks towards you , running a hand through his hair. “WOMAN. how many times have i told you that you’re not allowed to pay for anything in this relationship?” he snips, inserting his platinum american express card into the slot.

“oops”

“whatever, just don’t pull something like that again. i ordered you a credit card linked to my account. it’s coming tomorrow.” he says.

your eyes widen, “WHA-“

he clamps his hand over your mouth, “shhhhh… just accept it”

you nod slowly, “okay… thank you kunaaa”

“mhm” he says as he spins you to the side to get a good look at your new piece. “do you like it?”

“of course i do, you drew it” you say, staring adoringly into his eyes. “wanna tell me what flowers you drew?”

he points to each one as he names them, “alstroemeria, calla lily, baby’s breath, camellia, daisy, marigold, and rose”

“wanna tell me what they mean?”

“no. google it.”

later, when you go to google the flowers, tears well in your eyes at your boyfriend’s thoughtfulness.

[alstroemeria (devotion and friendship), calla lily (magnificent beauty), baby’s breath (everlasting love), camellia (perfected loveliness), daisy (cheerfulness), marigold (power and strength), rose (loyalty and love)]

you come up behind him and jump on his back, kissing his cheek, “you’re the best”

the corner of his mouth lifts, “so when are we getting matching tattoos?”

thank you so much to @saradika-graphics for the beautiful dividers and support banners 🫶

and thank YOU so much for reading! i appreciate you!

[tunal0verr]

Recorded memories

Toge Inumaki x reader

Content: Wee bit of angst(mb chat) takes place after the shibuya incident so spoilers!! does use she/her pronouns mb chat人(_ _*) use of y/n

Summary: A glimpse into a few memory's with a certain curse speech caught on a gifted camera

A/N:not checked and i didnt clam to be a author team but inumaki nation was lowkey dry recently and if u cant find the art U GOTTAAA MAKE IT YOURSELF ＼（゜э゜）／

December 25th, 2017

“How do I know if it's on?” the voice was quiet as the focus of the video pointed down revealing shredded wrapping paper and an open box.

“Salmon” The camera shook before it pointed up at Y/N

“OH! It's on” She smiled at the boy behind the camera

 “Heyyy vlog it's your favorite y/nn” She took the camera from his hands and lifted it showing the mess of Christmas wrapping

“My super BFF Toge Inumaki got me this camera everybody say thank you Toge” She wiggled the camera up close to his face as he scrunched his nose.

March 13th, 2018

“Welcome back vlog” she whispered to the camera lens before moving the camera back swiftly 

“I am here with my co-host Inumaki and we are on the train going on a mission,” she said moving around in her seat to lay over into his lap blocking whatever game he was playing pointing the camera up at him at a very unflattering angle as he looked down

“Bonito flakes” he sighed as he looked down at her

“That's what I'm saying” she agreed laughing turning the camera to face herself before it fell cutting the recording short

October 31st, 2018

The camera was getting rustled around before it settled on her desk

“Um… do my makeup with me as my best friend is on a life-threatening mission while I have to stay back at the school” She gave the camera a small weak smile

“It's not like he's alone like our other friends are there but” she paused as she sighed

“He isn't  answering his text and I'm worried more because it's just different cause it Inumaki-not saying I don't care about our friends I love them to bits just” Her brows knotted as she looked down through the bag on her lap rambling 

“It's just different between me and Toge it's more comfortable- whatever this is stupid” She snatched the camera rolling her eyes before it turned off

December 31st, 2017

“It's almost midnight vlog” she giggled on the bed moving the camera to sit on pillows

“Are we gonna kiss tonight?” she joked nudging Toge with a smile as a blush crept up to decorate the tips of his ears

“Salmon roe” Toge shoved her back rolling his eyes before typing on his phone to show her

“Why would I kiss you you smell horrible” she fakes reading out with a gasp from his phone as he sat up shaking his head making an X with his arms

She looked up at the camera “he hates me guys my own best friend” she sighed looking down dramatically 

“Tuna mayo!” he groaned pouting at her pushing her shoulder again causing her to laugh and grab the camera 

 “stay tuned to find out if we actually kiss” she stuck her tounge out as she started to move the camera closer to Toge’s fake before he opened his mouth the camera cut 

April 10th, 2018

“And here we have a wild Toge Inumaki resting in the wild” The camera zoomed in on his sleeping face

 “Magnificent creature one of a kind,” she said mocking a fake Australian accent

 “Now we must be careful not to disturb the beast” She leaned the camera closer to his face before his eye peeked open and she gasped

“You're not even sleeping you're a faker!” she laughed as he smiled as it look like he charged at the camera before the recording abruptly ended

August 21st, 2018

The screen is covered with a sliver of the room being shown as a frustrated groan is heard at a distance 

“Like did you ever consider how I would feel? I get you and Yuuta are close and stuff but it doesn't mean ditch me to go and make the same plans with Yuuta” Y/n voice strained as she reprimanded him

“Fish flakes!” Toge’s voice sounded desperate 

“Put the phone down can you do that for once? Just listen to me! For someone who can't speak right you sure are a bad listener,” y/n yelled harshly “Wait no comeback” 

Toge pauses for a second before even considering what y/n just said to him her. Once he does he just stares at her with only a look that can be described as heartbreak before turning and walking out with a harsh slam of the door followed by y/n groans before everything where the camera sat was pushed causing the recording to stop.

Present

She paused and grimaced after watching the last video 

“I should probably delete that right?” she turned to him as there was still no reply from his part

“I didn't mean it you know” her words getting caught in her throat as her voice trembled “You don't have to fake no more Toge get up” She went to go grab his hand but she was only met with the empty bed space that was once occupied by his hand 

“Please wake up we can't just end as best friends I don't want to end just as best friends” She began to sob as she laid on top of his lap as his body rested in the infirmary bed her tears made the room go blurry as they clouded her vision as she poured her heart out in his lap. She moved her arms to wrap around her head blocking out the world. Blocking out the small smile that danced across Toge’s lips

He never was a good fake sleeper

A/N: if this is ass its not fault guys its 3am and a hoe is tired fr

[moonbyulsstuff]

helloo, if your request I open, can I request DG x male reader where the reader is a famous car racer. they had a backstreet relationship and almost got caught when they're a bit too close on one of their event

Secret Relationship

Male Reader.

Requested.

Masterlist.

Request Rules.

VVRROOM!! The crowd watches in amazement as the race went on, [Name] smiling happily under his helmet as he did what he always did that had the fan riling up in excitement.

[Name] [L.Name] was a man who dominated the field of car racing ever since he made his debut 3 years ago, and he captured the heart of the Korean people. Not only with his dashing looks but also sweet personality that was like one of a golden retriever.

Everyone was basically smitten with the man, and he grew to have a tremendous following.

And of course one of them was a certain bubblegum pink haired idol, and he was sitting in, blending within the crowd while he watches the race with a small smile on his face.

His iconic pink hair hidden by the hat and his mask covering his face, his eyes followed the screen with a proud feeling in his chest before the race ended.

It ended with [Name] winning the race as the fans reacting accordingly and sprang up while shouting in joy that their favorite racer had won the race, Diego quietly got up from his seat and immediately went to [Name] private dressing room.

He already had a bouquet of [Name] favorite flowers and his favorite candies/chocolate, Diego took off his cap and mask, revealing his iconic pink hair.

Diego sat down on the chair as he waited, his fingers tapping against the arm chair before he heard the door opening. He turned around and saw [Name] who's face immediately lit up when he saw Diego, he closed and locked the door behind him and ran up to Diego.

He wrapped his arms around Diego and pulled him to a hug, Diego let out a small yelp when [Name] pulled him by full force. He chuckled and hugged back.

"Congratulations on winning first place [Name]." Diego said as [Name] looked up at him with a huge grin on his face. "I did good right? You saw the way I left my opponents to dust, right?" He excitedly asked which made the idol smile and nodded.

"You did.. you did..."

He ruffled [Name] hair and placed a kiss on his forehead, the H/C had a huge grin on his face when Diego kissed his forehead. "I did good... I did good..." [Name] said, snuggling his face against Diego neck.

-

The two were now at a event, after they celebrated [Name] big win for winning the race, they attended the event they were invited to.

People gathered around [Name] as they congratulated him for the win, while Diego stood near by [Name] who happily thanked the others.

The two were by each other side throughout the event but no one thought anything about it since it was pretty well known they were close friends, and Diego doesn't interact with other people that well unlike when he's with [Name].

And now they are at the balcony, getting some fresh after interacting with nearly half of the guests. Diego swirled his drink while [Name] leaned against the railings as he chatted Diego's ear off.

Diego leaned close to him as he listened to [Name] story, he liked to listen to [Name] voice. He didn't mind whenever [Name] chatted his ear off. Diego knows how talkative [Name] can get and he just loves it.

[Name] looked at Diego and held his free hand, playing and fiddling with his fingers while he continued to tell Diego the story.

The idol chuckled and let [Name] do whatever, knowing how clingy he can get especially when he can't touch Diego so freely in public. And while [Name] continued to tell the story, a group of people came to the balcony and saw the two.

[Name], who was facing the doorway, immediately let go of Diego hand before the group could fully see it. Diego who looked at [Name] in confusion, wondering on why male let go of his hand.

He turned around and saw the group and understand. They smiled at the group who greeted them.

"Oh, Diego, [Name]! Didn't expect to see you two here." "What are you two doing here?" [Name] smiled and chuckled. "Well, we're just out here getting some fresh air." [Name] said as he felt disappointed that the group interrupted them, he just wanted it to be the two of them for the night but of course, since this was a party.

Everyone was bound to be in the same room as them or the same space.

He gave Diego sneaking glances who got the signal, Diego smiled at the group. "Well, we have to get going now. It was nice meeting with you guys." Diego said as they bid goodbye and walked out of the event.

They entered Diego car and [Name] let out a sigh of relief, he looked at Diego and kissed him in the lips. The pink bubblegum haired chuckle and kissed him back, they continued their makeup session for awhile before [Name] pulled away.

"I've been wanting to do that since earlier at the party..." [Name] mumbled which made Diego chuckled, he cupped [Name] face.

"Guess, you got what you wanted.."

[thatturtleleon]

TFP reacting to you coming to the base with an injury (more specifically a leg injury)

Authors note: I may or may not have fell through my porch (stop laughing how dare you) and injured my leg rly bad, i am in pain lol and this is how im coping

Optimus Prime/Ratchet:

Optimus was working and discussing something with Ratchet when they saw you hobbling towards the stairs like some elderly person

Immediately asked what was wrong and if you're alright

You nod and wave it off as nothing, but your hesitation to walk up the stairs said otherwise

Once they realize something's up with your leg, Ratchet quickly goes into medic-mode and Optimus wants to know what happened, how it happened, and if your ok

Now you have two old bots asking a billion questions at once

After you've sat down on the bottoms steps and reassure them you're alright, you explain what happened

Both of them are like :0

Ratchet goes into medic-mode AGAIN, grumbling something along the lines of "how have humans survived this long" and "cannot believe humans use wood for architecture when it's such a safety hazard"

Optimus is calmer now knowing that you're ok, but still watches as Ratchet makes sure you're 100% not dying

Eventually they settle down, and lift you up very carefully to the couch area where you can rest

Don't you even THINK about touching those stairs.

Bumblebee:

Freaks out for a second

*panicked beeping noises* "WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU FELL THROUGH THE FLOOR WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR LEG ARE YOU OK!!??"

You calm him down, explaining that it was just your leg that went through and all you got were a few splinters and some nasty scratches

He'll do whatever he can to make you feel better

Video games? Absolutely !! TV? Yes ! Taking you on a drive? Yesyes

Figures that if he keeps you busy (but off your leg), it'll distract you from the pain

and it works, but you do eventually need to rest and he'll be there if you need help with anything

Arcee:

"You what"

Kind of the same reaction as bumblebee but 10x calmer (at least on the outside)

On the inside she's worried bc you just told her you hurt your leg, yet you're WALKING still (wouldn't even call it walking, more like shakily limping around)

Arcee's not gonna baby you but she is gonna make sure you're ok throughout the day

Which means she's probably gonna stick by you a lot more

You don't mind it though, the two of you chat and chill most of the time

If she has to go on a mission while you're still recovering, she'll put you on the couch in the base and says if you even think about moving she'll fuck up your other leg (not really ofc but her "arcee-ness" tone makes you listen anyways)

Bulkhead:

Sweet bot i love him so much <33

You explain what happened in great detail and if cybertronians could get queasy, he would most definitely be

If Miko was there she would be all ears though LMAO

"Was there a lot of blood???!!!" "MIKO!"

Ofc asks if you're ok and how long it'll take until you get better

Probably'll ask Ratchet or June if he can do anything to help, and June says to make sure you change your bandages every few hours, and put medicine on so there's no risk of infection

Bulkhead states that humans need to be wrapped up in what the kids called "bubble-wrap" 24/7

Ratchet agrees

[citruswriter]

I FUCKING LOVE THE ANIMALISTIC READER SHIT ANSUSIJASH

Them Finding Out You Have a Partner

Listen with me! ♫♪.ılılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılılı.♫♪

A/N: I'M SORRY HAPPY YOU LOVE MY CRINGY BF SCENARIOS! NAJDKDKDJSJDJ! Get ready for angst ya'll. Reader is in a relationship but it's kind of rocky. Bc obviously we're not gonna stay.

Previous Part

"I don't want you hanging out with them anymore!" Your partner shouted at you. The two of you had been arguing for the past twenty minutes. Why? Well your partner found out about your group chat with the turtles, April, and some others. It wasn't exactly a secret, you never hid the group chat. You saw no need. But apparently your partner had a problem with you texting a bunch of mutant turtles. "But why?!" You yelled back, animal appendages displaying your anger. Your partner growled and stepped forward, causing you to step back. "I don't want you talking to those freaks!" Your partner spat out and your eyes widened. "Excuse the fuck outta me? What's next? You gonna call me a freak too?" You growled back and your partner huffed. "You know damn well that it's not the same damn thing. You're still mostly human. They're not." Your partner said, trying to reason with you. You let out a bitter laugh and scoffed. "Whatever. I love you but I'm headed out. I can't hear another word of this bullshit". You spat out, storming out of the apartment and going out onto the streets of New York. You knew that your partner would attempt to follow you home, so you took a different path and instead headed for the lair. Fuck this shit man.

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Leonardo x Reader 🧡

Warnings: Reader is a wolf neko, Reader has golden eyes, Reader has a boyfriend.

Leo had never seen you so pissed. You walked in with a silence he had never seen from you, ears pinned and tail bristling. A growl was resounding from your throat, a primal noise he had never heard from you before. He'd be lying if he said that he wasn't a little bit intimidated. Mikey sprang up to hug you, obviously not picking up on your mood. "Touch me, Michaelangelo, and I swear it will be the last thing you do," you spat out, golden eyes moving to give him the deadliest death glare the poor turtle had ever seen. Immediately he put his hands up in surrender. "Woah! What's up with you? You good?" He asked gently. "Got into a fight with my boyfriend," you said bluntly. Leo struggled to keep his exterior neutral and calm when he heard that word. Boyfriend. Of course you were taken. "(Y/N)," Leo called out to you and your head snapped his direction, glaring up at him as if to silently tell him to not waste your time. "Come mediate with me. It'll help calm your nerves". He didn't expect you to follow him, really he didn't, but he was grateful to see you behind him when he finally reached the meditation room.

He sat down and you followed suit, sitting beside him. "So boyfriend huh?" He started gently, trying to sound as casual as possible. "What's it to you?" You snapped, glaring at him only to soften when he gave a 'don't test me' look. Sighing you rubbed your face and looked up at him. "Yeah. Boyfriend. We've been going steady for about a year now. But recently things have been rocky." You murmured and Leo nodded empathetically. "What did he say that got you so worked up?" He asked. You chewed your bottom lip, fangs slightly slipping out. "He said he no longer wanted me to hang out with you guys. Said you guys were freaks." You confessed. Leo swallowed thickly. He was used to being called a freak. This wasn't new to him. But the idea of you cutting him off because of some bigot made him nervous. "Are you going to do it?" He asked, voice slightly shaky. Your ears pricked up as you looked at him, "Absolutely not! If he thinks I'm going to stop hanging around here, he's dead wrong." Leo only hummed in response. You slouched your shoulders, giving an exhausted sigh.

"I don't know Leo. These past few months, it seems like we've been fighting every single week, if not multiple times a week. He keeps asking me to cut off certain friends for one reason or another. Hell he even asked me to block my dad". Leo wanted to hold you as he saw you anxiously run your fingers through your hair, gripping it in a stressed manner. Instead he opted to gently pull your hands from your scalp, holding them and looking at you, "Forgive me if I'm overstepping but that sounds incredibly toxic." He said softly. You hung your head, ears pinned back in sadness. "I know. It's just... so hard to let go sometimes." You muttered. Tears pricked the corners of your eyes and Leo felt his heart squeeze. He pulled you closer, hugging you. You melted almost instantly, hugging him back. "Thank you..." You whispered. Leo rubbed circles onto your back, butterflies flitting around in his stomach. "Anything for you, blossom".

✧❁❁❁✧✿✿✿✧❁❁❁✧

Raphael x Reader 🧡

Warnings: Reader is a cat neko, Reader has a girlfriend.

"Raphael!" You shouted as soon as you walked in and this man almost thought about running and hiding from you from how pissed you sounded. You beelined it to the gym room and glared at him. "Yes?" Was all he said as he took in your body language. Pupils turned to slits, ears pinned, claws unsheathed, tail lashing. "I'm absolutely enraged right now. So give me something to hit or lift or something before I punch a wall and inevitably break a few bones," you seethed. "Hear you loud and clear kitten," was all he replied with and boy did he put you to work. Two hours later and you were sweaty and laying on the floor, chugging water as fast as you could. You were still mad but at least you were calmer.

"What got you so worked up? Swear you were boutta kill me". He asked gently, drinking his own water. You sighed softly and looked at him, "Got into a fight with my girlfriend". You explained and Raph almost choked on his water. Girlfriend? Course a pretty thing like you was taken. He felt his heart break but you kept talking. "I mean seriously. I've dated all kinds of people of all genders but she's just a work of fucking art." You spat out, standing up on your wobbly legs to pace. "She saw the group chat and just demanded that I stop hanging out with you guys because, and I quote, 'because they're freaks'. Which is utter bullshit. If anybody's the fucking freak it's her!" You shouted. "So then I asked her if you guys are freaks then what am I? And she said it wasn't the same because I'm still mostly human". You stopped pacing, angry tears streaming down your face and your tail bristled with utter rage. "I don't want to be her stupid fucking exception". You chocked out, hands beginning to shake from the pure unfiltered rage you were filling. Raph knew he needed to calm you down and soon.

"Wanna know my opinion?" He asked and you angled one of your ears his way, silently telling him you were listening. "I think this little girlfriend of yours sounds like shit. If I were you, I'd dump her". You relaxed a little, tail fur now smoothed out and your fists were no longer clenched. You made your way over to the giant turtle and pushed him to sit down before crawling up into his lap. Raph didn't know what to do, not expecting you to pull such a move. "Maybe you're right, Raph..." You murmured, nuzzling into him softly. All the anger must have utterly exhausted you because you could barely move. Raph decided to softly pet you. Soon you were purring against him, halfway dozing off. He couldn't help but stare down at you with adoration. You had come to him so willingly. It was nice to know you found solace in him.

✧❁❁❁✧✿✿✿✧❁❁❁✧

Donatello x Reader 🧡

Warnings: Read is a moth mutant, Reader has a girlfriend.

You were utterly enraged. Storming into the lair. From the other room, Donnie picked up on your scent. Excitedly, he made his way out to go find you but he was a little too late. Mikey had just begun to ask you what was wrong when you let out a frustrated yell, spun around, and smashed your fist into the wall. "(Y/N)!" Was all Donnie let out. You reared your fist back for another go but luckily the tall turtle stopped you, grabbing your wrist and noticing how you were shaking with pure rage fueled adrenaline. "Come with me," was all he said before dragging you along with him. He picked you up before setting you down on a table in his lab. He got out some medical items to now deal with your busted up knuckles. "Mind telling me what the hell that was out there?" He asked, trying to keep his tone calm. "Got in a fight," you simply said. "With who?" Donnie asks, cleaning your bloody knuckles. "My girlfriend." Donnie's heart jumped into his throat at those words, pausing his actions momentarily before continuing.

"She called you guys freaks..." You muttered and Donnie looked up at you, eyes so soft and caring that your heart couldn't help but melt. You sighed and hung your head. Donnie bandaged up your hand before leaning in to kiss your head. You gave a moth squeak and looked up at him, lip trembling. "I don't like that she called you guys freaks. It hurt my heart. I care about you guys so much, Dee. So much about you." The last sentence came out as a whisper as tears began to roll down your cheeks but he heard you. "Although I appreciate you getting angry on our behalf, please don't punch the wall again." He said gently and you nodded, sniffling softly. "Do you guys fight often?" He asked, prodding softly and you nodded. "Y-Yeah. We do. We didn't at first but it seems like all we do know is either sleep together or fight." You said and Donnie pressed his lips together, noticing how stressed you look.

"That doesn't sound very healthy, (Y/N). Being in a relationship like that could really damage you". He said and more tears spilled over onto your cheeks. He fought the urge to cradle your face. To wipe your tears away and kiss you. To tell you that he had you, that nobody could hurt you now. "Donnie?" Your voice shook him out of his thoughts. He blinked and looked up at you. "Yes dove?" He replied without thinking and he noticed your wings flutter at the nickname. "Thank you for cleaning me up. I appreciate it". You said bashfully. "Of course, (Y/N). Happy to help".

✧❁❁❁✧✿✿✿✧❁❁❁✧

Michaelangelo x Reader 🧡

Warnings: Reader has white feathered wings, Reader has long elf-like ears, Reader has a boyfriend.

Wings fluffed up in a defensive measure, you briskly walked into the lair, making your way straight to Mikey. "Hey angelcakes!" He called out, not picking up on your mood. "Do me a favor and shut the fuck up," you spat before taking his controller and tossing it aside. He just blinked in surprise as you shoved him arms apart and crawled into his lap, curling into him. Under normal circumstances, he might have pulled away to ask you what was wrong or ask you to please not just snatch his controller away. But as he heard you silently sob into his plastron, all other worries melted away as he wrapped his arms around you and rubbed your back. "(Y/N)? You ok?" He questioned softly and you lifted your head to finally look at him. "No. I got into a fight with my boyfriend." You muttered. Mikey swallowed thickly and he swore his chest felt tight at the word 'boyfriend'. "He just makes me so mad, Mikey. H-He called you freaks a-and I just- I just walked out. I care about him but all we do is fight these days and I hate it." You sobbed out. Mikey took to mindlessly rubbing circles on your left hip. "Well you know what they say," he said with a shrug of his shoulders and you looked at him with confusion.

"If your dog starts barking at you, someone else is feeding it better." You tilted your head, looking up at the ceiling in thought. "Now that you mention it. He has been sneaking around a lot..." You muttered before looking back down into his eyes. "Do you really think he could be... doing something?" You questioned, voice trembling. Mikey shrugged. "I don't know, babes." He replied softly. "Just know that whatever happens, I'm here for you. Ok?" You nodded, smiling softly. "You're too sweet to me, Mikey". You cooed and Mikey swore he felt his heart skip a beat at your tone. "Only because you're sweet, sugartits". He quipped back. You rolled your eyes. "Aaaaaaand there it is," you said with a giggle, rolling off of him and getting comfy on the couch beside him.

He wanted to pick you back up. Settle you back down on his lap, keep you curled up and safe against his chest. Keep you close to him. "Sorry for yanking your controller away, by the way," you said, glancing at Mikey's dead character on the screen with drooped ears. "It's ok baby," he reassured. You enveloped yourself in your wings, but only to hide your flustered face from him calling you baby. He's so cute...

Reader falling in love next? Maybe, maybe. Hope ya'll enjoyed this one. 💋

[itstheval]

Memory of Dreary Days / Siffrin Gets An Earring

A @livesworthlivingau Side Story

It was a lovely autumn day, and Siffrin was miserable.

This wasn't anything new, they'd come to realize. The events of Dormont had changed - and possibly Changed - them, but that was months ago, a little over a year now. No, this frustration was newer, possibly the last few months, but they'd managed to identify it over time.

They watched Mirabelle and Isabeau, in front of them, chatting about what Changes they might want to make in the future. Isabeau had a whole list of ideas, but Mirabelle was being more cautious, as usual. Odile was watching and writing, and Bonbon, they were sitting on Nille's shoulders as both of them added their two coins when they had an idea. Leaving you, Siffrin the Traveler, as an outsider. Again.

It wasn't their fault, you knew it. You were empty inside, and this entire adventure you were on was to fill you. That was something the doctor had mentioned, that you seemed to agree with…You didn't have a past, so they were making you one, because they wanted you to. So why were you being talked over, and around? Why were they treating you like a pet, not someone with their own ideas?

The only thing worse than knowing it was it being known, unfortunately. It seemed like they came to a pause in conversation, and Isabeau looked back as though remembering you existed after so long ignoring you.

"What about you, Sif? Got any ideas for big Changes?"

You could laugh. You could sob. You remembered being as large as the sky, and just as filled with stars. You pictured yourself, star-headed and lightless-skinned.

"I don't think so! That's a Vaugardian thing, isn't it?"

The words were more bitter than you imagined them to be, and the second they left your lips you knew that they were wrong. A second after, you told yourself otherwise. "Words can't be wrong", the doctor had said, "If you mean them. You're trying to express yourself, not win a game." Well, from the way everyone else's faces fell, that was good, because you'd have just lost hard.

"That doesn't mean you can't Change! There's Houses everywhere that will take you in and help you, too."

"Yes," Odile continued. "I've thought of using them myself, during my time here, but I never had time to stay in one place, what with…everything."

"Really, madame? You're so pretty! What would you even change?"

And the conversation was off again…Odile explaining her heritage yet again, too-thick hair and too-wide eyes for ka bue, too-thin eyes and too-thin hair for Vaugarde. You wondered, sometimes, if Ka Buans had thought she was as pretty as Vaugardians do. You wonder, in the moment, if they'd bother talking to you again.

They hadn't.

You'd caught Isabeau looking over at you, with something more thoughtful than pity, but you could see the pity in it. Whatever he had in his mind, it wasn't enough to make him ask about anywhere else, or change the subject. Quietly, you thought about how much nicer it would've been if you'd just gone for a comfortable lie instead.

▬▬▬

It was a rainy, autumnal day, and Siffrin was bored.

It wasn't anyone's fault, everyone knew that was just what happened in Autumn. You found somewhere to stay until the rains ended, or you trudged through the worst mud that you could imagine. Bored or miserable, and to the family the choice was obvious. Siffrin had been…letting themself think of them that way for a while, even without telling them. Their little secret. Maybe not their family, but they were the family, and nobody could blame him for that, right? Watching Mira read to Bonbon, watching Isa and Nille talking about, of all things, carpentry, and Madame writing in those inscrutable books of hers.

You hated it. You hated listening to it, you hated being part of it, and you hated being trapped in it. It was nothing like the loops, you knew, but it was almost worse in its way. Watching everyone else with a role, with something to do, and you off to the side like some pet. You'd already napped yourself dry, and nobody had begrudged you sleeping through breakfast, even if it meant you were likely to stay up well after the candles were out at night. But the rest of your day…

You sighed. Sitting there wasn't going to make you any happier, and you'd already looked at all of the books Mira had brought with her. You'd read through the horror stories until they started showing up in your dreams, when Mirabelle had banned you from reading any more of them because of how you'd been whimpering in your sleep. Isa had tried to defend your right to read, but the looks Odile had given him had made him blush in a peculiar way and stop trying, and that had been the end of it. The less said about the romances, the better. You understood that Vaugarde was an open place, but the things they dreamt up to keep two people from each other felt so cliched, so unreal, so impossible that you couldn't get into them.

So, you laid there, in a bed, in a wooden room, staring at the ceiling until the morning came.

How familiar.

That thought sent a shudder down your spine that you knew everyone noticed, but you got out of bed before any of them could comment on it. No, you were dealing with this. You weren't being dealt with, not this time. You hopped up, and walked over to Odile, who closed her book as you approached.

"What could you be writing down now?" you found it in you to ask. "Vaugardian rainy-day games? I thought you were a master at those." The joking tone managed to reach your voice, you thought, and you were glad for it.

"Oh, I wasn't writing at all. Believe it or not, I'm designing something."

"Designing?" The surprise in your voice was clear.

"Well yes. You have your woodcarving…Or had it, when we were near forested areas enough to find scrapwood. Mirabelle has her writing. I thought I should perhaps try my hands at something creative."

"Oh, can I see?" This was WAY more interesting than laying in bed!

"If you can guess what it is, then yes. It wasn't fair that I didn't get to see your face when my research was revealed, after all." Her smile was coy and knowing, but she did, ultimately, have a point.

"Oh, is it…" You looked around, trying to think of what could be in the room that she could draw inspiration from.

"Clothesmaking? Like Isa plans to?"

"Nice try, young one. But that's your one try for the day." Odile's eyes turned up as she thought about the idea. "Besides, do you think I'd compete with Isabeau? In something he's planned for that long?"

You had to concede the point.

▬▬▬

"Carpentry?"

"Can you imagine me swinging a hammer, Siffrin? I know my limits, and they stop well before there."

▬▬▬

"Bookbinding!" You thought for sure you had her on that one. Something to do with her precious books, and something she could study from Mira's colleciton and her own?

"Sadly, no. But, now that you mention it, maybe I should."

▬▬▬

So the days had passed, until things were clear again. The world was colder now, and you could feel it around your cloak, but everyone was well prepared for it. You'd all gotten your own instructions on what to purchase, and been sent off to pick up supplies, which had taken the whole day between bartering and transporting. Thakfully, without Mira there you managed to get a Savior of Vaugarde Discount, and used the extra coin to pick up a pain au chocolat. Some things, it seemed, were eternal, and this one you didn't mind.

So it was that you returned to the inn, one hand with a canvas bag full of smaller bags, spices and flour and other things for Bonbon, the other letting you munch away happily, but you found yourself pausing outside the door. Something was wrong, you could feel it. You finished your treat quickly, and opened the door with a hand on your dagger. A pre-feeling, something that you couldn't put words to, told you that there was something going on beyond the door

You were right.

But not how you thought.

Instead, the family had been standing around in a half-circle, seemingly waiting for you to get back! You barely had time to rescue the groceries as a Bonbon-shaped missile impacted your legs and held you, Mira following after on the other side and Nille even stepping in to ruffle your hair, as Odile looked on fondly, and Isa…Hid something.

As lovely as the feeling was, your suspicions were raised far too high.

You managed a laugh, and to pull yourself free of the hug after enough time that it had started to loosen, before staring down Isa. Watching his cheeks darken was almost worth he price of admission, even as the others spoke around you. Again.

"I told you he'd notice!"

"You hardly had a better idea, Mirabelle."

"Uh-uh! We shoulda done it at dinner! Make sure he's comf-ta-bul."

"Comfortable, Boniface."

"That's what I said!"

It all flowed around you, as you stepped closer to Isa, and sighed. "I know what bonding earrings are, Isa." You allowed, holding out a hand, making him stutter even worse - and sending a roil of laughter around the room from everyone else.

That wasn't it? Then what was he hiding?"

"You're half right, I'm afraid. This is actually something we'd all been thinking about for a while…The past week just proved how important it was. It's not bonding earrings, but…"

As Odile spoke, Isabeau brought a black jewelry box around, holding it out to you. His words were trembling and small, in the way he always seemed to do only for you. You wished he wouldn't…his big booming voice was always so nice.

"We noticed you don't have any earrings yourself, Sif! And…I mean, you're as Vaugardian as any of us, if you want to be. Not that you should feel like you have to give anything up for us! But! I thought this might…make it easier to remember?"

What…were they saying?

Isabeau opened the box, and instead of one of his black i-earrings like you'd expected, a pair of star-shaped earrings rested inside. They were a light shade, just dark enough to notice around your hair, and obviously handcrafted. The edges were imprecise, the designs weren't symmetrical, and you could feel the love in every angle.

You stared. You didn't know what else to do.

Isa was saying more things, and it sounded like other people were responding, but you lifted up a hand to the box. A shaking hand, you realized when it was halfway there. Trembling, uncertain, but you didn't dare stop now. Not when they'd put so much effort in.

"-know what I was working on, the past few days. It's something of a rush job and it shows, but it's even more Vaugardian to have it made by your family, isn't it?" Odile was speaking.

Made…by your family.

Made by them.

You cried. You wrapped your arms around the giant body of Isabeau and you cried and you sobbed and you bawled and for once in your life, you weren't ashamed of a single sound you made. There wasn't any room for it in your heart. Not with everything else you were feeling.

Everyone else was holding you in moments. You turned, as best you could in the group hug, to include all of them. You knew you were getting tears and snot all over them and you didn't care. They were there. They were your family. They…You were one of them.

In that moment, of all moments, you were loved.

[moody-alcoholic]

Chapter 7 - The Death of Piece of Mind

Summary: Simon x reader. 4.9k words. You go on your first job with Simon, but you still want to be more involved and you want to prove you can handle all aspects of the job. Even if it means breaking trust.

CW: Assault, stalking, mentions of suicide, physical violence, kidnapping, mentions of SA/rape, mentions of animal abuse, angst.

AN: Yes I was thinking of this song. The song has nothing to do with the chapter. It's just a good song.

Previous - masterlist - Next

AO3

Enjoy <3

You’re sat in John’s office Simon is beside you as John slides a folder over to him. Simon picks it up opening it and you lean over to look. You’re not sure what any of it means. There are two photos one of a woman one of a man. Simon turns the page before you have chance to read it properly. 

“Amelia, 27, ex is Ryan, 25. Stalking, harassment the usual. Both have full time jobs, he’s been hanging round her work during his lunch break.” John says. 

“Surveillance?” Simon asks closing the folder.

“Get proof then you can grab him with Soap.” John says looking at you. You want to be involved but you feel like you need to convince Simon first before John. 

“What kind of proof do you get? Like pictures?” You ask. 

“We just need to see the stalking in action. We take everyone’s word at face value, but we need to see for ourselves before we make a move. Otherwise we could be harming innocent people.” John says. Harming, the word makes you swallow hard.

“What do you mean harming?” You ask keeping your cool. John’s eyes flick to Simon quickly then back to you.

“There are a few ways we deal with stalkers; we have a little chat with them tell them to back off. It’s a show off force ‘we can make your life very difficult if you don’t leave the person alone.’ Sometimes that’s not enough, that’s where blackmail becomes involved. Everyone has dirty little secrets or people they love, most of the time it’s just empty threats enough to scare them. Failing that we may have to resort to more, aggressive means of convincing.” John explains. You look at him for a few seconds taking it all in. 

“What about my ex?” you ask, John looks confused for a moment and Simon shifts in his chair. 

“He listened to what we had to say, he was very understanding in the end.” John says. It’s not what you were expecting. It’s vague, like he’s trying to talk around it. 

“We should get going, if we want to catch him by noon.” Simon says before you have a chance to reply your mouth hanging open. He starts to get up, you follow him thanking Price as you leave. You feel like he’s hiding something they all are. No one will talk about what happened with your ex accept they ‘had a chat’ and then he killed himself. You walk down the steps following Simon. 

“You excited for your first job?” Johnny asks almost skipping over to you. You force a smile as Simon goes over opening the side of the van.

“Yeah, course very excited.” You reply. You hope Johnny can’t tell when you’re lying as easily as Simon can. He wraps his arm round your shoulder as he guides you to the van. 

“What about you Si, excited to be working with our new star recruit.” Johnny says, you don’t know where he gets all his enthusiasm from. Simon finishes whatever it us he’s doing in the side of the van then slams the door closed turning to look at you and Johnny. 

“Ecstatic.” He says looping a mask behind his ears and pulling it down to rest under his chin. Johnny shakes his head using his free hand to push Simon’s shoulder.

“Cheer up Si you get to go for a ride with your girlfriend, maybe take an extra long lunch break?” Johnny says winking at Simon. You pull out of his grip feeling uncomfortable. Simon’s not your boyfriend or at least you don’t think he is. You still haven’t spoken about what it means, every time you think about bringing it up a pit forms in your stomach. 

“Christ MacTavish haven’t you got other people to annoy?” Simon asks opening the driver side door. 

“Gaz is out on a job and Price said if I bothered him again he’d fire me.” Johnny says crossing his arms and pouting.

“Oh, he’s finally taken my advice.” Simon says climbing into the van. You hear Johnny huff as you go round getting in the passenger side. Simon starts the engine. 

“Good luck lass don’t let Ghost scare you away, he’s a real softy at heart.” Johnny shouts leaning round to see you. You smile waving at him. Simon shakes his head and drives out the building.        

 —————————— 

When you make it to the location. Simon parks up in a car-park across the road of the building the woman Amelia works at. You had managed to read the folder on the way. Seems like when people have problems they go through a whole interview processes with John. Mainly only questions about the stalker, why do you think he’s doing it? How long has it been going on? That kind of stuff. He’d been abusive, when she tried to throw him out he attacked her.

The police got involved but restraining orders take time. He followed her home from work tried to rape her, she fought him off but then he started coming to her work. Getting more pushy and aggressive, she’s scared to walk alone anywhere. She bought a dog and came home to it poisoned. It survived but she was sure it was him. It made you feel sick. You look back over at Simon, he pulled his mask up at some point on the trip. 

“Why do you wear the mask?” You ask, you think back to the mask you saw him in when he grabbed your ex. That was a scary mask, the thought of it still sends shivers down your spine. 

“To hide my face.” He says without looking at you. You sigh looking over at the building. It’s a tech company.

“Is that why you’re called Ghost?” You ask looking over at him. He sighs. 

“What car does he have?” Simon asks. You look through the folder. 

“Just a number plate, ends in HYT.” You say. Simon reaches over you and opens the glove box. You look in there is a pistol and some ammo it makes your breath catch in your throat, you’re still not used to being around all the weapons. He takes out some binoculars, closing it back up.  He brings them up looking in the car park across the road. It’s not very conspicuous. 

“He’s here,” Simon says. You look over squinting trying to read the number plates. 

“Can I see?” You ask, he hands you the binoculars. You look through them looking for the car. 

“He’s actually sitting in the car waiting.” You gasp passing them back to Simon.

“What do we do? Do we help her?” You say suddenly feeling panic rise in your chest. 

“No, we watch see what happens but we don’t get involved.” Simon says, there is an edge in his voice. You watch as people start coming out the building, lighting cigarettes heading to cars. People going out for lunch. You look down at the picture of Amelia, she’s blonde, nice face, it’s only a head shot. You look over watching to see if you can see anyone who matches the picture. 

“What if he tries to hurt her?” You ask. 

“It’s too public here he won’t risk it. We only step in if her life is in danger.” Simon says, he looks over at the picture quickly then back through the binoculars. You can kind of see what’s going on but the road is big. You see someone you think looks like her walk out the front door down the steps. 

“Is that her?” You ask, as you watch the blonde haired woman go down the steps. 

“Stand by.” You look over at Simon confused as he looks at the picture in the folder again.

“Yeah I think it is.” He says. You watch as she makes it past the car Ryan is in. He steps out. 

“What’s happening?” You ask. 

“They’re talking, she looks uncomfortable. He’s moving towards her she’s stepping back to the stairs.” Simon explains, you feel a wave of emotions sadness, fear. You can imagine what she’s feeling right now. You’ve been in her position you know what it’s like.

“She’s heading back to the building it looks like they have security. Yeah they’re not letting him in.” Simon says putting the binoculars down. 

“What now?” You ask, you already know, this is the proof the next stage is to get him.

“Now you don’t need to worry, me and Johnny will handle the rest.” Simon reaches over you again putting the binoculars back in the glove box. 

“I would like to know, so I can be involved in the future. You watch as Ryan goes back to the car defeated. 

“You’ll never be helping with that side of the job.” Simon says as a matter of fact. You scoff.

“Says who?” You ask, feeling insulted. 

“Me.” He replies twisting the key bringing the engine to life. You see Ryan and his car drive out the car park. You look at him as he pulls the van out. 

“You can’t stop me.” You say huffing. 

“You don’t want-” 

“Shut up about what I want, you and Price you’re both the same why can’t I decide what I want?” You snap interrupting Simon. He lets out a long sigh. 

“It’s a part of my life I don’t want you involved in.” Simon says sounding annoyed, you watch as he grips the steering wheel tighter, his knuckles turning white. 

“I don’t want you to see me do the things I have to do. I don’t want you involved. That part of my life it’s tainted, it’s messy. You’re…You’re too innocent.” He says. You’re stopped at a red light, you look over at Simon his eyes meet yours he seems mad. You don’t know what to say, he’s making you feel like a child. 

“I’m not that innocent.” You say quickly without thinking.

“You are, I know you’re mad now but you are. And that’s okay, you’re such a perfect part of my life. I don’t want you to be tainted too. What if you see something you don’t like and then you never want to speak to me again?” Simon says as he drives forward. 

“What would I see?” You ask keeping your eyes on him, his head flicks over to you every now and then. 

“Another side of me. A side I want you to stay well away from.” He says. The vagueness is just causing you to be more and more annoyed.

“Just be straight with me Simon. I can handle it.” You say, Simon looks at you and curses under his breath pulling off at the next available opportunity. You feel bad all of a sudden, like you’re about to get scolded by your parent’s for doing something wrong. Once Simon has stopped the van he turns to look at you pulling his mask down. His eyes are hard, it sends a shiver down your spine. 

“I have done horrible things, and I’m not just talking about killing people. I have hurt people in ways you can’t imagine.” He hangs his head, you feel bile rising in your stomach you swallow it away. Maybe he’s right you don’t want to think about Simon hurting anyone, especially when he’s been so gentle with you. 

“You are the only person in my life who does not look at me like I’m some kind of monster. Like you’re scared I would hurt you. Even after what happened with your ex you’re still here, you still..” He shakes his head it’s like he can’t find the words. You reach over and take his hand in yours squeezing it. 

“When I’m working, when I’m Ghost I’m a different person. I’m not the person you say you love I’m a bad person who does bad things. I hide my face for a reason.” You rub his hand with your thumb. 

“Do you kill people?” You ask, the words are quiet you want him to say no. 

“I do what I have to do to protect the people I care about. To make it home at the end of the day.” He says.

“Did you kill my ex?” You ask swallowing hard and squeezing his hand. 

“No.” He replies. You don’t believe him. It’s the first time you’ve not believed the words coming out his mouth. He looks up at you, looking in your eyes. 

“I don’t ever want you to look at me like I’m some kind of monster. I love you and if I lost you. I don’t know what I would do with myself. So I’m asking you please stay away from this side of the job.” You can hear the pleading in his voice, it’s almost desperate. It’s something you’ve never heard from him before. You know he’s being sincere.

“I love you too. I just want to help. I want to help people the way you helped me the way you’re helping Amelia.” You say sighing. 

“I know and I love you so much for that trust me I do. But when it comes to dangerous parts I don’t want you to be involved. I want you to be safe.” You let out a long sigh closing your eyes. You don’t want to lie to him, you don’t want to. You look up at him and plant your lips on his. You kiss him moving your hands to his face. He pulls you closer to him and you let his hands run down your arms. You pull away first resting your forehead on his. 

“I won’t get involved. But at least let me come with you, I’ll stay in the van I promise.” You say sighing. He lets out a long breath moving his hand to your chin forcing his face to look directly in his eyes. He closes his eyes for a second. 

“Okay, I’ll figure something out. If it makes you feel better. But you have to promise me you'll stay in the van.” He says eventually. You nod kissing him again, it’s a long kiss. A loving one, like he’s kissing you for the first and last time. It makes you sad. It makes you hate lying to him.          

 ——————————

When you get back to work there is a heavy feeling in the air. Simon gets out the truck and you follow him heading straight up to John’s office.

“Soap, c’mon.” Simon says gesturing at Johnny who’s lounged out on the sofa’s to join you both. 

“Mission success?” Johnny asks as you walk into the office. You don’t know what to say to him you just stride past him catching up with Simon. You take a seat and Johnny takes the seat next to you. 

“How did it go?” John asks. 

“We got the evidence.” Simon says.

“How bad is it?” John asks. 

“He was there on her lunch break. He tried to talk to her but backed off once she got back into the building and security got involved. I reckon he needs a bit more then a gentle word.” Simon explains.

“What do you think?” John asks looking at you. You think back to what you read in the file about what she has been through so far. It still makes your stomach churn knowing there are people out there that go to such great lengths. He could hurt her, he’s already tried. 

“I think he takes time out of his day to drive to her place of work and harass her in public. That’s pretty serious. He could hurt her.” You say, you’re not sure what they want to hear, you’re just being honest. John presses his lips together giving you the look he does when he’s thinking. 

“Think we’re going to need blackmail?” John asks looking at Simon who’s stood behind you. 

“Don’t think so.” Simon replies. You look over at Johnny who’s tapping his fingers on the chair arm.

“Okay what’s the plan then?” John asks leaning back in his chair. 

“We have his address we know when he finishes work I say we get him then.” Simon says.

“Johnny?” John asks looking at him.

“You’re the boss LT.” Johnny says smiling. 

“Try and wrap this one up quickly yeah? Laswell has a job for us.” John says. Johnny sounds excited about that. You hear Simon turning to leave as Johnny gets up. You smile at John as he gets back to his paperwork. 

“Who’s Laswell?” You ask as soon as you’ve closed the door behind you. 

“Old friend.” Simon says. 

“From your military days?” You ask following them down the steps. Simon nods. Johnny and Simon talk while you grab a bite to eat.

The rest of the afternoon jobs fly by. It almost feels boring now following Simon around to people’s houses doing odd jobs. You actually end up doing some deliveries although instead of office supplies its ammo and weapons. Simon explains what each one is happy to talk about anything else then the stalker job.

When you get back to work it’s after 5 you guess it took him longer to get round all his jobs when you were trying to pick his brain each time. He instructs you to go home and that he will pick you up with Johnny later.

When you get home you start to plan. You dress in dark clothes and a hoodie, pick comfortable shoes that have soft bottoms. You shove gloves and the black surgical mask you took from the van when Simon wasn’t looking in your pockets. You switch your phone to silent while you remember. It feels like you’re forgetting something, like you should be more prepared.

It’s just nerves, you convince yourself, you’re pacing the flat when there is a knock at the door. You look through the peephole. It’s Simon, you take a deep breath in. Tonight you were going to get answers.  

 ——————————

“Okay you know the rules?” Simon says as you arrive at the location. It’s a water treatment plant by the Thames. You nod.

“Stay in the car no matter what unless you or Johnny tell me otherwise.” You say having heard it for the hundredth time. Even Johnny was hesitant for you to be joining them tonight. His usual chipper attitude replaced with nervousness.

“And?” Simon asks.

“I was never here. I never saw you or anyone else.” You say. He leans over to kiss you.

“And?” He says again.

“If I call you I’m being murdered or on fire.” You say gripping your phone. Simon smiles passing you the car keys. It’s Simon’s car apparently they don’t need the van for this.  

“Someone asks you to move along do it, I’ll find you after.” He says. You nod, you’re nervous you hate lying to him. It’s not really lying though more misleading. You’re going to follow his instructions, you’re going to stay in the car and hear his side of the story when he comes back. At least that’s what he’ll think. There is a knock on the drivers side window it makes you jump. 

“Delivery for Ghost.” Johnny says. Simon sighs moving away from you and getting out the car. You watch as Simon pulls a mask over his face. Johnny waves at you, he seems back to his usual self you wave back. You watch them disappear to Johnny’s car parked behind. You hear shuffling and someone pleading, muffles shouts. Simon and Johnny aren’t saying anything.

You feel your heart skip a beat when you see them pulling a man with a black hood over his head and his hands zip-tied. It’s like something out of a movie it feels surreal, you watch as the lead him into the water treatment building. You pay attention to if the door is squeaking or not, that could give you away. It doesn’t seem like it but when they let it slam behind them it’s loud. Make sure you close it gently.

You don’t know if you want to do this now. You squeeze the keys in your hand, if you want to know what they get up to now is your chance. You wait for a few minutes mustering up the courage, to leave the safety of the car. You put the mask on pulling it up over your nose. You put the gloves on next and pull the hood up over your head. You get out the car your heart is thumbing hard in your chest, your breathing speeding up the adrenaline pulsing through your system. You’re shaking as you press the keys to lock the car.

Its dark and cold the sound of the Thames will give you good cover. You walk over to the door you saw Johnny and Simon go through, it’s a heavy metal door you have to use both hands to open. You slowly close it behind you, the room is loud you can hear rushing water, the pumps working. You leave the door on the latch in case you need to make a run for it. You’re hiding behind some kind of machinery, the place is dimly lit but you keep close to the ground, as you follow the pump pipes towards the light. 

“I don’t know if I believe him” You hear Johnny say. You keep moving slow, looking down at your feet every now and then to make sure you’re not going to bump into anything. There’s the sound of flesh hitting flesh. A punch maybe? A slap? 

“I promise I’ll leave her alone.” The voice breaks, as you take another step, you see Simon and Johnny with their backs to you. The man is sat in a chair, you’re holding your breath. Johnny is stood with his arms crossed while Simon rubs his ungloved hand. You watch straining to listen with the noise of the pumps working. It’s Ryan, he looks scared, his eyes wide his cheek red, you think you can see tears. You almost feel sorry for him then you remember why he’s here, what he did today, has been doing for months then you feel angry. 

“Nope, still not sure.” Johnny says. Simon looks at Johnny and you watch as his fist crashes into Ryan's face. His head snaps painfully and you have to bite your cheek to stop yourself gasping out loud. 

“Who are you anyway her new boyfriend?” Ryan asks looking at Johnny. You don’t hear what Johnny says as he bends down to speak to him. 

“I promise I won’t see her again.” He says. Johnny lets out a long sigh taking a step back. This time Simon’s fist slams into his stomach and he doubles over in pain. As much as he can, a grunt leaves his mouth. 

“Fuck what do I have to do to make you believe me?” He coughs. You’re frozen in place watching Johnny and Simon towering above him, you imagine Ryan being replaced with your ex. Is this what they did to him? Beat him to a pulp so bad he killed himself?  

“You need to prove it, you need to never see her again. Unless you want to see us again. And trust me you really don’t want to see us again.” Johnny says. You watch as Ryan’s eyes flick from Simon to Johnny. Johnny turns to look at Simon, his head looks towards you and your eyes meet.

You freeze which is the exact opposite of what you want to happen, your eyes wide as you watch Johnny’s head snap back to Simon. You’re not breathing but you force your body to move. You’re not even sure he saw you. He looked at you for a second if that.

You hear Johnny talking as your crawl your way to the door. Another slap of skin to skin fills the room, cutting through the noise of the pumps. As soon as the cool night air hits your face you’re on your feet running to the car. You fumble with the keys sitting back in the chair.

You pull your hood down and the mask off your face almost like it’s stopping you from breathing. You take in sucks of air, pulling the gloves off your shaking hands and shoving everything back in your pocket. You look at the door to the building expecting Johnny and Simon to come rushing out and scream at you for peaking but nothing happens. In nothing happens for what feels like hours.

When the door finally opens you wait watching them walk out with Ryan between them the hood back on his head. He’s silent, walking slower then before not trying to fight Simon or Johnny. Johnny won’t look at you, there’s a glint in his eye, he seems disappointed. He doesn’t say anything just walks straight past the car as Simon gets in the drivers seat. 

“How did it go?” You ask handing him the keys. 

“Fine.” He says starting the engine. You watch out the side mirror as Johnny’s car pulls away.

“Now what?” You ask, trying to hide the shakiness in your voice. 

“We wait, see if he really will leave her alone.” Simon says, you look at him as he takes his mask off and smiles at you. You smile back. 

“Lets go home.” He says reaching down for the gear stick. You feel sick and turn your attention out the window. He’s still the same Simon you love, you don’t feel any different. Only now you’ve broken his trust and he doesn’t even know.            

 ——————————

You get into your flat. Simon didn’t see you but Johnny did. Johnny didn’t say anything. He won’t say anything, you hope he won’t say anything. You’re exhausted, Simon can sense it too. His hands find your waist when he’s kicked his shoes off and he bends down to kiss you. You kiss him back, hoping he wont sense the hesitation. 

“What’s wrong?” He asks. Fuck.

“Tired,” you say his thumb comes up to rub your cheek. He smiles at you. 

“Want me to sleep on the sofa?” He still asks every time, even though you insist he always uses the bed. You grab his wrist leading him to the bedroom. You stand at the foot of the bed looking at he barrier you made out of the separate duvets you both sleep under. You want to do this you can do this. You trust Simon, even with what you’ve seen tonight.

He’s the person you call when you need help, he’s the person you want to wrap their arms around you and tell you everything is going to be okay. You pull the duvet Simon has been using on the floor then take yours and throw it in the air so it covers the whole bed. You can do this, sleep under the same covers as him. He would never hurt you. His arms wrap around your stomach and he kisses your neck. 

“You sure?” He asks. You nod turning in his arms looking up in his eyes. He’s nothing like the man you saw in the pump room. He’s soft, kind, loving. He was right, there is a big difference between Simon and Ghost. You reach up to kiss him wrapping your arms round his neck pushing your body up against him. You’re sure about this, you need to feel him near you. You need to remind yourself you’re safe and he would never hurt you. You pull away from the kiss. 

“Let me brush my teeth, I’ll be right back.” You say, he nods and you head to the bathroom. You change into pajamas and brush your teeth trying to distract yourself from what you saw today. You’re more concerned about Johnny, he saw you you’re sure he did. He could tell Simon then what if Simon thinks you’ve broken his trust. You promised you would stay away.

You leave the bathroom, when you get into the bedroom you see Simon. He’s changed his shirt, you look over at the bag he’s started bringing with him. Always full with a few days worth of clothes, his tablet and a toothbrush. He pulls the duvet back a little for you and you slip into bed.

You turn to the side slowly inching your body close to him. Your bare legs touch his, he’s wearing sweatpants. He’s going to be hot. His hand is on your face, pulling you up to him and he kisses your forehead. His body turns in the bed and you’re lying face to face. You can feel his body as your arms wrap round him your head being burred in his chest.

You can hear his heartbeat. He’s warm his touch is gentle his arms wrapping round you and pulling you against him giving you squeeze. It feels nice being in his arms like this, your hands moving to stroke his chest. You can feel each muscle, each scar, his chest rising and falling. 

“I’m so proud of you.” He says. It makes you smile, then a hot rod of guilt, like you’ve just been stabbed in the heart. You close your eyes trying to will it away. You broke his trust, you made a promise and you broke it. 

“Simon.” You say your voice quiet as you muster up the courage. He hums waiting for you to continue. 

“I saw you work tonight. In the pump house. I watched you.” There you’ve said it, the pain doesn’t go away. His arms leave you, his warm embrace gone. You open your eyes to look at him. There's a look you've never seen before.

Fear.

Next

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[callmelola111]

guilty conscience ☆ part two

 ← part 1 ⭑ part 3 , part 4 , part 5 →

synopsis: it’s your first year at college and you’re 1,500 miles away from home. you’d feel completely alone if it wasn't for your attractive roommate ellie. will this attraction complicate already uncharted territory? or will she be the answer to all your problems?

      |✯| pairing & wc: college!ellie williams x roommate!reader. wc: 2.1k

      |✯| cw (by part): 18+ themes (MDNI), fem reader, modern au!ellie, HEAVY ANGST, some swearing, a hint of sexual themes, cat

a/n: this was so fun to write. i love causing drama <3. apologies in advance for how angsty it’s gonna get but i promise it will all be worth in the end !!

Through the weekend you and your new roommate Ellie went to some campus events to kickoff the new semester and got to know each other better. You guys bonded over music and had even made each other playlists. It was sweet. Time flew when you were around her, and suddenly, it was Monday, and the first week of classes.

You woke up extra early that morning. Ellie was still fast asleep in her bed so you had to get ready in the dark, but you didn’t mind, she looked so pretty lying there. You finished getting ready and loaded up your green canvas backpack. As you reached for your keys about to head for the door, a groggy voice piped up.

“Not gonna say bye to your favorite roommate?”

“Ellie, you're awake! Good morning, happy Monday!!” you replied, a little too chipper for Ellie’s liking

“Damn, up at 8am and wishing me a ‘happy’ Monday? You’re crazy.” she teased. You giggled a little but then glanced at your phone to see the time and the giggles halted. 

“Listen I’d love to stay and chat but my class is in 10 minutes and I don’t even know where the building is…” You gave a slow, sarcastic laugh and opened the door to the hallway.

“Have a good day at class- if you actually make it” she threw her head back with a chuckle. 

“Ellsss, seriously? Stoppp.” you drug out your words with a whine. That's when Ellie’s eyes got wide and your face got red, realizing what you had just called her.

“Nicknames already?” A cocky smile spread across her face. She loved seeing you get all flustered. You were cute, almost in a pitiful way. 

“I- Ellie- I meant Ellie. Jeez, I’m sorry.” Your eyes locked to the floor, avoiding whatever face she might’ve been making in reaction to your stupid slip up. A string of “no’s” from Ellie quickly follows your apology. You looked up to meet her gaze 

“Call me Els, it’s cute, you’re cute. But you’re the only one who can. Got it?” she winked playfully. The red that filled your cheeks from embarrassment became even redder with Ellie’s shameless flirting. Was she like this with all her friends? You wished to stay home all day and weigh out the possibilities but there was no time to think now. 

“Okay, well uh, see you later Els.” You couldn’t help but smile ear to ear knowing how she felt about the name. 

“See ya hun.” And with that, you were off to class,  a skip in your step. You had made it just in time. You surveyed the rows of seats looking for an open spot to grab. You notice one next to a girl with short black hair, covered in sick tattoos. She looked like just the type of person you’d wanna be friends with so you made your way across the room to her. 

“Hey, is anyone sitting here?” you inquired. The girl looked you dead in the face, grabbed her backpack from the floor, and shoved it into the empty seat.

“Yeah. My backpack.” she replied with a straight face followed by a middle finger. You stood there, mouth open in shock. Like, what the fuck did you do? You were about to snapback until a voice coming from behind retaliated first. 

“I thought mean girls were just a highschool thing? Guess not. Hey, newsflash!! We’re in college now, so maybe you should stop being a cunt and grow the fuck up. Yeah?” Your jaw dropped even further this time. The pathetic excuse for a bully sunk into her chair, head down, knowing she just got ate the fuck up. Your new savior switched her gaze back to you.

“Hi I’m Dina! Maybe you’d wanna sit with me instead?”

“Of course I’ll sit with you, that was totally badass, you’re like my hero! I’m y/n!” You climbed over the row of seats and plopped down next to her. Before you knew it, class was over and you were exchanging numbers with your new friend. You hardly even remember what the professor was saying in class, as you were too busy whispering back and forth with Dina.

The evening rolls around and you finally head back to your dorm. You couldn’t wait to tell Ellie about the insane day you just had. You stepped out of the elevator onto the 4th floor and the sounds of music bellowed down the hall. It became louder the closer you got to your room. Once you reached your door, you realized it was Ellie. You walked inside to see her sitting with a sage green electric guitar propped up on her right knee. She slid her hand down the neck of the guitar, veins popping as she switched her fingerings to play a new chord. You could’ve watched her all day if she hadn't noticed your stare and stopped playing.

“Like what you see, pretty girl?” It’s like she knew how desperate you are for her. Of course you get red in the face and fumble for a rebuttal just as cocky as hers.

“You calling me pretty Els? How cute.” Your tone is laced in sarcasm and your eyes do a dramatic roll. 

Ellie was quick with it, “Yeah y/n, I am. You got a problem?” She was staring you down with persistence. The eye contact was getting intense, but you were too enamored to answer her question, despite it being a simple “no”. 

All you could spit out was, “uh, I gotta pee.” 

“Okay weirdo thanks for letting the audience know” she replied laughing, obviously mocking your odd public statement. That was your queue to quickly retreat to the bathroom. You pulled down your pants to reveal the obvious wet spot. It was getting embarrassing how aroused this girl could make you without even doing a thing. Luckily you actually had to pee because Ellie was right outside the door and could hear everything. And of course, she had to let you know. 

Mid-doing your business, she yells through the door, “damn girl, you really did have to piss.” Your palm hits your face like muscle memory. She was so stupid. 

You walk out of the bathroom and wash your hands while vocalizing your annoyance to Ellie. She turned the corners of her mouth downwards making the cheesiest frown ever. 

“Soooo how was your first day?” she asked, dragging out the “o” to fill the lull in conversation. 

You turned to her, brows furrowed, and replied “Good and bad.” Ellie’s curious, wide-eyed look turned sincere as soon as you said the word bad. 

“Bad? Already? Tell me about it. Are you okay?” She seemed genuine in her response so you spilled about the mean girl you had met in your class earlier this morning. She sat in silence, hanging onto every word you said. She wanted you to know she was listening and that she cared. 

“I’m so sorry y/n, that girl sounds like a total bitch. You did nothing to deserve that kind of treatment. You want me to go give her a piece of my mind?” 

You laughed, but you knew she meant it, “that’s okay, someone already did. That was the good part.” 

“Oh, who?” Ellie’s demeanor shifted, like her chivalry was being threatened. 

“This cool ass girl in my class, Dina.” The corners of your mouth upturned just saying her name. Ellie’s face remained neutral and you couldn't tell what she was thinking.

“When she overheard that girl being rude she totally whipped her head around and told her off. She even called her a cunt. It was so awesome.” you continued, eye’s beaming.

“Then she let me sit with her and we talked literally the whole class. Afterwards, she gave me her number so we could make plans! Totally worth being bullied by a random stranger.” You were so consumed by telling your story that you didn’t notice Ellie’s face completely drop. She almost looked pissed off. When you realized, your face dropped right with hers.

“You alright?” you questioned, not understanding what happened. Little did you know, your story stomped all over Ellie’s ego. She was envious of the way Dina seemed to make you feel.

“Oh yeah, everything's fine over here” she retorted with a hint of sarcasm that felt too minuscule to acknowledge aloud.

“So then, how was your day?” you said, moving on from whatever that was.

“Mine was good. I met someone too.” 

“How cool! We both made friends on the first day-”

Ellie was fast to answer, “Oh no, she’s not a friend.” Your puzzled look urged her to continue.

“She actually hit on me, so I gave her my number. She was sooo damn fine too.” All that followed was silence. Jealousy consumed you, just like Ellie wanted. 

“What's that? Cat got your tongue?” Ellie scoffed and then flashed you a twisted smile. Your feelings were hurt, you’d never seen her act this way before. Even behind her usual sarcastic remarks you knew she was genuine. This time you weren’t so sure. For lack of an appropriate response and the silence continuing to drag you tried to change the subject. 

“SHE? You’re gay?!” you exclaimed, pretending to act surprised, but failing.

“Thought that was kinda obvious kid…” Kid????? Who did Ellie think she was? You were so over this conversation, but she kept on going.

“Anyways, do you think I should go for it?” she sat there smirking, waiting for your response. 5 minutes ago you might’ve told her no because you wanted her for yourself, but after this show of character, you just let her have it.

“Sure, I bet she thinks you’re ‘soooo fine’ too.” you said, completely monotone and pissed off. Part of Ellie felt disappointed you didn’t fight for her, but she realized she had no right to feel like that. She was the one playing games with your feelings, not the other way around. In an attempt to save the conversation she decided to bring up her gig.

“Hey, by the way, if you liked my guitar playing, you should totally come to my band's show this weekend.”

“Wouldn't you rather bring your girlfriend?” you remarked. Ellie felt ashamed for triggering this side of you. Everything she said was true, but she could've just kept it to herself. Ellie had hurt you on purpose, and all out of spite.

“I really want you there y/n. It’s important.” she answered, trying to recover. There was a softening in your eyes.

“Fine, I’ll be there.”

                                          ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆｡･:*:･ﾟ★

The week rolled by quickly and the usual flirty banter had died down ever since that conversation. You were too busy with school to stay angry at Ellie, but too proud to try and win her back. 

Soon, it was Saturday, the night of Ellie’s show. You sat in front of the mirror ridiculing the makeup you had just applied before she interrupted.

“You better put some pep in your step little lady. We’ve gotta go.” You broke eye contact with yourself to look up at her.

“I promise you look fine, don’t worry.” Ellie reassured, already knowing what you were thinking. You loved how she could read your mind. 

Soon, Ellie, her band, and you, all arrived at the venue. You found a spot in the back to sit and wait as they set up to perform. Everything is fine, until out of the corner of your eye, you see devil incarnate hanging around the bar. You couldn’t believe your eyes. You quickly whipped out your phone to text Dina about your rotten luck.

After letting her know you looked up to see Ellie walking towards you. Perfect timing.

“Ellie, oh my god, oh my god” you said, antsy to tell her the news.

She met your energy, “What?? Tell me!!” 

“Guess who’s here.” you coaxed. 

“Idk who?”

“It’s that girl who-” 

Before you could finish, “that girl” was now part of your conversation.

“Ellliieeeee!!” she squealed, flying into her arms. (WHAT THE FUCK?!) They both turned to face you and Ellie could tell something was up. Your eye was practically twitching.

“Y/n, this is Cat. She’s my uh-”, Ellie proceeded with caution, “she’s the girl I was telling you about.” You were riddled with disbelief.

Cat interjected, “don’t be coy Els, we’re practically dating.” and then shot you a conniving smile. It was like a huge slap to the face. In fact, it was more like getting kicked in the stomach a couple times. You were winded just standing there. As you searched for the right words to say, your eyes began to well up with tears.

Ellie immediately noticed, “did something happen y/n? You were just fine?”

“Actually, you know what ‘Els’?”, emphasizing the nickname and the promise that came with it, “I was just leaving.” As those last words escaped your mouth, tears began to stream down your face. Feeling absolutely humiliated, you stormed out of the venue, not looking back once. This is the last time Ellie will make you feel inferior.

← masterlist ⭑ part 3 →

[andraxicated]

Pairings: blade x reader | jing yuan x reader Synopsis: After a tragedy that consumed two of his companions, the face that he secretly longed for unexpectedly appeared before him once again. But this time his heart is filled with hate. Tags: angst | stellaron hunter! reader | enemies to lovers | past tragedies a/n: can I say the stellaron hunters are the coolest faction ever. like its where badass bitches belong! | i'll release jing yuan's route some time later lmaoo i'm so bored i do shit like this | trying out my favs with fav/popular tropes while i still have the brain

During that time when Blade got caught by the Xianzhou, you felt like your heart leaped out of your chest as soon as you heard the news from Kafka, who was sporting a rather laid-back smile.

"What? Don't look at me like that. Bladie is going to be fine. He's a big guy now." she said while going through your own collection of coats, something you picked up while shopping with her and the guy that follows behind like a guard dog.

He always looked at you with a scowl when you were a new recruit. Simply speaking, if looks could kill, you'd be dead long before this unserious turn of events...where Kafka also got caught. Yet this time upon silently watching the fiasco from somewhere, you're not the least bit worried. How could you when the woman herself was smiling like a maniac as she was caught by the master diviner. You seriously think it's time for you to leave this group of wild lunatics who casually gets taken as prisoners.

As you sigh and leave, Kafka's voice suddenly rings in your ear.

"Be patient, Elio will talk to you soon about a very important mission."

A mission that entails "saving" her but unfortunately, Blade had escaped and is standing before you with the usual expression on his face. Sure, this guy probably carries a lot of baggage but you can't help but feel uncomfortable with him. Especially when a little fight occurs between the two of you about who gets to save Kafka.

"What are you doing? Elio tasked me with this. I met him!"

"..."

Then he suddenly takes off while you follow after him, taking down enemies behind like some kind of sidekick while he attempts to take the spotlight of appearing before the trailblazers. But of course, you don't let him. You remain firm in doing what Elio told you, glaring at Blade while holding off the pursuers together.

You roll your eyes as he acts a little goofy in your sight, acting all charismatic with his sword drawn and all that. You even failed to hold your laughter with the way he dove, quickly pulling out your phone to snap a photo of Blade, then sending it to Silver Wolf because you're too scared of the consequences if you dare send it to the group chat. Blade might actually kill you if that happens.

look at him, he looks so stupid

But unbeknownst to you, the general himself saw you that time, and for him, it seemed like everything stopped and faded into the background. Your swaying hair and glowing eyes were what stood out at first. But then—you also had a face that eerily resembled someone from his past.

It is now revealed to the Xianzhou that the Stellaron Hunters aren't threats. You had no reason to come back to the Luofu anymore, it's all up to their alliance on what to do with the problem they're currently facing. The Stellaron Hunters had done their part as Kafka had said, but before you could board the spacecraft, you suddenly voiced out your decision—or rather, Elio's decision for you.

It felt ridiculous, really, listening to someone and doing whatever they tell you like a dog. It didn't feel good to you but as soon as you landed in the Luofu, something pulled you to stay there just as Elio had said.

"I'm staying. You guys should go ahead."

Kafka turned to you with a little smile on her face, seemingly understanding the situation. But surprisingly, Blade stiffly turned and had an unreadable expression on his face. He seemed mad—his furrowed eyebrows were a clear indication.

"Why?!" he's a man of few words but this single question made his voice akin to a roar. Even Kafka turned and boarded the craft, leaving you and Blade alone.

"Why not? Elio told me." You lied, he never told you to stay. Yes, he had an influence with his persuading words. But naturally, you'll take this route to feed on your curiosity because it always feels like there are missing pieces inside you. "I'll be staying here and that's final. It's none of your concern." You said while crossing your arms and Blade's eyes squinted.

You saw that he has his fists clenched, veins popping out as you raised your brows, also getting mad at whatever show he was putting on.

"What is it to you? Can't the Stellaron Hunters function without me?" And when he doesn't reply, you just roll your eyes and waved to leave.

Blade watches you go farther and farther until you're a dot in his sight, just like the moment when you followed after the woman who made him suffer over and over again. Your cold lifeless eyes and your face lined with blood as you watched the life drain out of him will forever be a memory that haunts him.

You weren't one of them. But when he saw you once again in this lifetime, he decided...that you'll also have to pay the price.

[chukys-mouthguard]

coincidence

the way you, told me the truth minus seven percent

featuring -> cam york x female reader

genre -> angst; illusions to cheating, mentions of cheating, cam gaslighting (?) the reader and just being a fuckboy

1.35k words

-> short n’ sweet masterlist

Boarding the flight and finding your seat, you couldn’t help but criticize yourself for not recognizing the signs sooner. The comments on Instagram, the numerous texts popping up with her name, Cam becoming more and more secretive about his phone. It was right in front of you this entire time, but you’d chosen to ignore it all because you loved him. Because you trusted him.

The Flyers were out of town for their California road trip, which several of the WAGS had made a trip out of as well. You unfortunately couldn’t attend due to a deadline you had to meet at work, but they’d been keeping you up to date on all things important via the group chat.

However, it was a text between you and Tyson Foerster’s girlfriend Katie that had been the most important you’d received.

She prefaced the soon to be sent photos by saying, I hate to even be sending these, but you need to hear this from me and no one else.

What followed were photos of Cam and the girl you’d convinced yourself was nothing to worry about. He was leaning in as he spoke to her at the bar, smiling ear to ear, her hand on his arm, the photos went on and on. Your heart sank and you knew you needed to confront him before the road trip was over. There was no way you would’ve been able to survive the next five days pretending like you’d not seen the photos just to wait to talk in person.

Luckily you’d met your work deadline, so you booked the next flight to Los Angeles so that you’d meet everyone on the next stop of the road trip.

As you got the hotel address from Katie, you tried to make a plan in your head. What would you even say? You felt dumb for trusting Cam when he told you she was just a friend from back home. That she meant nothing to him and he loved you. Seeing the photos, telling you he’d clearly invited her out because how would she know what bar the team would have been at. Seeing the way he smiled at her, how he allowed her to be so close to him, you’d felt like you were being punked. You wondered if any of the guys knew, if they were helping to keep things a secret for him. It made you sick to think any of them would do such a thing, but everything seemed questionable to you at this point.

Katie had texted you to try and talk you out of my conversations with Cam tonight, but you didn’t care to listen. You’d put up with the secrets and his hiding whatever he was doing with this girl for too long.

The Uber stopped out front of the hotel and you took a deep breath before climbing out. Practically shaking as you headed inside, hoping none of the guys would be around to recognize you. The last thing you needed was for Cam to be tipped off that you were there.

The ride in the elevator felt like it was never ending, your mind racing as you weren’t sure what you’d say to Cam or what his reaction would be to seeing you. The ding of your arrival on floor twenty snapped you from your thoughts as you stepped out. Slowly making your way to Cam’s room as you could feel your heart beating in your ears, your hands sweaty as you stopped outside of his door.

A light knock was all you could muster as you contemplated running away, but before your feet could make a move, the door was slowly opening to reveal a confused Cam from behind it.

“Y/n? Baby, what are you doing here?”

He slightly chuckled as he looked down the hall to see if anyone was around, taking your hand to quickly pull you inside.

He could see the look on your face, the hurt and confusion as you paced the floor of his hotel room. Not sure what to say, the words not forming properly as your mind was racing. Sitting on the edge of the bed he took your hand, his thumb tracing calming circles over your skin. But you quickly pulled your hand away, remembering what brought you here in the first place.

“What the fuck is this?”

Shakily you unlocked your phone before turning it to show him the photos you’d received from Katie. Your voice was laced with hurt as you tried your best to hold your composure, but the pain was beginning to overtake you. Looking him in the face, knowing what he’d done, it was breaking your heart all over again.

“Baby, she’s my friend from home. I’ve known her for years. You, you don’t think I was…I’m not doing anything in these photos that would ever give that impression. You think I’m cheating on you, with her?”

His response came with a chuckle as he swiped through the photos before handing you your phone back. His hand reached for yours as he sighed, hating to see you falling to pieces in front of him.

“Baby, please. Look at me.”

Through tear filled eyes you glanced up at him, his hands pulling you closer to him as he tucked some hair behind your ear with a soft smile.

“If you want to believe that I crossed a line, or did something I shouldn’t have. Then okay. But look at those photos baby, and I promise. I’m not doing anything inappropriate. My hands aren’t touching her anywhere they shouldn’t be. Her hands aren’t on me, I’m not kissing her. I’d never do that to you, you should know me better than that by now.”

As he pleaded his case you swiped through the photos once more, and he was right. At second glance none of the photos showed any evidence of cheating or Cam being out of line. Your heart sinking as you instantly regretted showing up the way you did, accusing him of such a thing. Maybe it was because you knew the bit of history the two of them had that made you assume the worst, but now you were sure Cam would have every right to be mad at you.

“Cam, I’m sorry. I just, I hate not being able to go on these trips. And I know the history you have with her, seeing her out at the bar with you all, it just. It didn’t sit well with me, and maybe I overreacted. It just didn't seem like some sort of coincidence, I was really scared you’d cheated on me.”

Cam stood up, smiling down at you as he kissed your forehead. Doing his best to reassure you that he recognized the honest mistake, apologizing that he’d even put you in such a position to begin with.

“It’s okay baby, I forgive you.”

Wrapping his arms around you he lightly rested his chin on your head. His eyes immediately falling to the dresser and his heart skipping a beat as he tried not to let you sense his nervousness.

“How about uh, you go clean up a bit in the bathroom. And we can just relax and watch a movie? I’ll find something that will give us a good laugh, yeah?”

Nodding with a smile you wiped your tears, giving Cam a kiss before you headed towards the bathroom. Cam quickly reached out to grab the lacey pink thong from his dresser once your back was turned, shoving it into his pocket until he had the chance to stash it somewhere you wouldn’t see.

“Cam, again-“

You turned around before disappearing into the doorway of the bathroom, Cam looking back to you with a smile as he rubbed the back of his neck.

“Yeah baby?”

“I’m really sorry. I love you.”

Cam sighed softly as he nodded, his hands pushing deep into the pockets of his sweats without you knowing of the secret he was quite literally holding in his hand as he echoed the sentiment.

“I love you too baby.”

[bingwriterxo]

miscommunication

pairing: vada cavell x reader

summary: in which you and vada are really bad at the whole 'talking' thing

warnings: none

word count: 2300+

author's note: this was a request! the end convo might be a little confusing, but it's supposed to be! they have a lot of feelings and unsaid words, ok??

“So, like, what’s the deal with you and Vada?” Nick asked, glancing toward you.

The two of you were at his house, laying in his bed side by side, and talking about whatever came to mind. Usually, there was an energetic, babbling brunette between you, chatting your ears off and barely letting either of you get a single word in, but not this time. No, this time, Vada was at Mia Reed’s house, much to your discontent.

You clenched your jaw. “What’re you talking about?”

He twisted to lay on his side, his elbow digging into the mattress and his hand supporting his head so that he could look down at you. “I’m talking about the fact that you’ve been stewing in…whatever the hell you’re feeling right now…ever since Vada texted saying she can’t make it.”

You scoffed, thinking about the texts that the girl had sent in your group chat half an hour ago.

V ;) (6:47pm): can’t make it

V ;) (6:47pm): going to mias

V ;) (6:47pm): sorry

“I just think it’s rude to cancel on your best friends when you’re literally supposed to be hanging out with them at the time you cancel,” you said.

Nick hummed, pulling his lips tight. “Sure. That’s definitely why you’re upset.”

You sat up, eyes narrowed in suspicion and eyebrows drawn together. “Why are you saying it like that?”

He shrugged. “I just think that, maybe, you’re…jealous.” He said the last word carefully, like it would be the fuse that set off the bomb that was you.

“And why would I be jealous?” you pushed.

“Well, because you and Vada are doing”--he gestured with his hands--“whatever the hell you two are doing--”

“Friends with benefits, Nick,” you interrupted. “It has a name.”

“Yeah. That.” He rolled his eyes. “Whatever. My point is that you obviously have feelings for Vada, and our idiot friend has no idea, so she thinks it’s okay to just fuck around with whoever she wants.”

You chuckled dryly. “First of all, Vada’s not an idiot.” You paused, thought for a moment. “Okay, sometimes she’s an idiot.”

“Yeah, you got that right,” Nick muttered under his breath.

“Secondly…you think she’s fucking around with Mia?” you asked, voice cracking. Tears pricked at your eyes as you waited for him to answer, suddenly feeling too vulnerable.

“I mean, she hasn’t said anything about it, but they’ve been spending a lot of time together.”

You gulped. “Whatever.” Your eyes flitted around the room. “Just because I have feelings for Vada doesn’t mean she can’t fuck around with who she wants.” You shrugged. “It doesn’t feel great, sure, but…our situation isn’t exclusive or anything. If she wants to sleep with…Mia Reed…then she can.” You glanced down at your hands, trying to ignore the hurt building around your heart. “It doesn’t matter to me,” you finished quietly.

“Y/N,” he said softly, drawing your attention back to him. “You can talk to me about this, you know that, right? I’m not gonna run and tell Vada, okay?” He offered you a pitying smile. “I know it hurts you, and I know you don’t want to tell her about your feelings, but you should talk to someone.”

You shut your eyes, hard, and when you opened them again, you shook your head and sighed. “It’s okay, Nick. I’m fine.”

“Y/N--”

“Can we just talk about something else?” You bit your bottom lip. “Please?”

He sighed. “You know, you should try to take your mind off her. Maybe…hook up with someone else?” he suggested. When you glared at him, he said, “Wait, wait. Listen. If you hook up with other people, it’d probably help with your feelings, you know? Maybe you wouldn’t hold Vada in that…godly light you do.”

“It wouldn’t feel right.”

“Well, you said it yourself: you and Vada aren’t exclusive. It’s not like you’d be cheating on her or anything.” You mulled the thought over, and, when you didn’t respond, Nick continued with, “Just think about it, yeah?”

* * *

“Vada?” Mia asked as she opened her front door. “What’re you doing here?”

Instead of offering a response, Vada pushed past her and beelined to her bedroom, leaving the blonde to catch up. When she did, the brunette was pacing around the room, and, for a moment, Mia was positive that she’d end up burning a hole in the floor.

“Dude, what’s wrong?”

Vada turned to her, eyes wide and bottom lip pulled between her teeth. “I’m going through, like, a serious crisis right now.”

“O…kay…” Mia stepped forward, placed a hand on Vada’s shoulder, and guided her toward the bed. She sat her down, but the brunette’s leg wouldn’t stop bouncing, and Mia sighed. “I thought you were supposed to be with Y/N and Nick right now. Why don’t you talk to them about it?”

“Because Y/N is the crisis,” Vada admitted meekly. She glanced at Mia. “Every time I think about her, my heart starts racing, and I can feel my entire body get…oddly warm, and it's like I constantly itch to be around her.”

Mia’s eyes widened, her mouth falling open slightly as she whispered, “Oh.” She smiled softly, excitedly. “You like Y/N.”

Vada shook her head fervently. “No. No, I--I can’t.” She stood and began her pacing again. “I can’t like Y/N because we’re supposed to be best friends…who sleep together, I guess, but that doesn't change the fact that we started off as best friends. And--and, our…benefits thing, it’s supposed to be no strings attached, just fun, so I can’t like her, because she doesn’t like me back. Plus, that’s, like, illegal in the world of friendships.” She took a deep breath in and looked at Mia. “Isn’t it? Tell me it’s illegal, Mia.”

“Vada, it’s okay if you like her,” Mia said. “I feel like that’s bound to happen in this situation. I mean, you’re best friends, and you’re having sex. You’re kind of…basically…a little bit…in a relationship, if you think about it.” She shrugged. “So it makes sense that you’d have feelings for her.”

“No, you don’t get it. Y/N…she doesn’t see me that way. She just…doesn't.”

“How do you know?”

“Because I know her.”

Mia hummed. “Have you asked her?”

Vada groaned and threw her hands over her face. “No, I haven’t asked her!” she whined into her palms. “Why would I ask her? Then she’d pick up on my feelings. Duh!”

“Maybe that’s not a bad thing?” Mia said. “I mean, Y/N could like you back, Vada. It’s not an impossibility.”

“Yes it is!” She peeled her hands away from her face to look at the other girl. “Y/N doesn’t like me. End of story. But”--she sighed--“I do like her. So, what am I supposed to do with that?”

Mia grimaced. “I really think you should talk to her.”

Vada groaned again. “You are no help!”

* * *

“Nick, I really don’t wanna go to this,” you said as the boy parked outside of Mia’s house. Through the windows, you could see flashing lights, the silhouettes of people you were sure were your classmates, and a haze of smoke.

Nick turned to you. “It’ll be fun, Y/N! You can either get drunk out of your mind or…do what we talked about.”

“Nick--”

He raised his hands in surrender. “All I’m saying is that if Brittany from math happens to flirt with you, don’t turn her down, okay? She’s hot, and I know she’s into you.”

You groaned. “Fine. Whatever.”

You climbed out of the car, slammed the door shut, and ignored Nick’s smug grin as the two of you walked to the front door. Just before you were about to push it open, he spun on his heel, and said, “Also, Vada’s gonna be here.”

“Nick!” You hadn’t talked to the girl since she flaked on your plans the other day, and you weren’t exactly keen on seeing her, the idea of her sleeping with Mia floating through your head.

“What?”

“I hate you, you know,” you grumbled.

He grinned. “Sure you do, tiger.”

The entire party was a whirlwind. One moment you were entering the house, the next you were downing your fourth or fifth shot of the night, and the next you were standing in Mia’s kitchen as Brittany from math batted her eyelashes at you and offered you a sly smile.

“I feel like I never see you at these, Y/N,” she said.

You nodded lazily, the alcohol fogging up your mind. “Yeah.”

“Well…” She ran her hand up your arm until it rested on your shoulder. “I’m glad you decided to come tonight.” She flashed you a grin as her eyes ran down your body. “You look really good.”

Nick’s idea was pounding at the front of your mind, and you knew what he’d say if he were there: Just kiss her! However, you hadn’t seen the boy since you first arrived; he had mysteriously disappeared.

“Thanks,” you said, smiling. “You look good, too.”

“You think so?” She was leaning closer to you, her hand tightening on your shoulder.

“Yeah. Yeah, you look…great.”

Her eyes flitted down to your lips. You gulped and dragged your tongue across your bottom one. She seemed to take the nervous action as one of invitation, and suddenly she was a breath away. You could feel her short puffs of air on your lips, but all you could think about was the fact that she wasn’t your brunette best friend, and that she was taller than you instead of shorter, and that her eyes were blue instead of brown. You hated it.

You were pulled out of your thoughts by the sound of a cup hitting the ground and a drink splashing across the floor. When you glanced over Brittany’s shoulder, you spotted Vada standing feet away, her eyes wide and pooling with tears, her mouth agape like she was ready to sob.

She caught your glance and turned away quickly. You watched as one of her arms drew up, hand likely swiping across her face, and your stomach dropped. You glanced back at Brittany, who looked like she was more than ready to pounce on you.

“I’m sorry,” you rushed out before slipping away from her quickly, leaving her no room to argue. You pushed through the crowd, trying to keep your eyes on the head of brown hair that you could see scurrying away. “Vada!” you called desperately. “Vada!”

She didn’t slow down. Instead, she seemed to pick up the pace, and you cursed, finding it more difficult to get past people. You didn’t bother to apologize for any drinks you spilled, or for bumping into couples making out, or for ignoring other people trying to talk to you. You just needed to get to Vada.

Finally, you caught her outside, where she bent over, her hands on her knees, and, at first, you thought she was throwing up. You were quickly proven wrong, however, as you heard her gasping for air, trying to keep her sobs at bay.

You approached her slowly. “V,” you said quietly, placing a hand on her back. She whirled around and took a step back, staring up at you with an expression that could only be described as pure hurt. “Vada…”

“Don’t,” she warned. “It’s fine. I’m fine.”

“You’re not fine, V,” you said, taking a step forward. “Listen, what you saw back there--”

“Is fine,” she interrupted. “We’re just best friends with benefits, and…and you don’t like me, and that’s fine.”

You furrowed your eyebrows, confused. “What…? Why would that matter?”

She scoffed and glanced at her feet. “Yeah, why would that matter?” she repeated sarcastically.

“Vada, I’m being serious.” You took another cautious step forward and ducked down a bit so that you could look her in the eyes. “I understand if you’re upset, okay? I mean, I get it…but, you know, we should probably talk about it?”

“There’s nothing to talk about.”

You huffed. “Fine. If you want to close yourself off like this, then fine. I know how you operate, V, and I know I’m not gonna get anything out of you like this. I just…I want you to be okay.”

She looked at you. “Is that why you were kissing Brittany? Because you want me to be okay?”

“I don’t even know what that’s supposed to mean!” You threw your arms out to the side, let them fall and slap against your legs. “I’m just trying to--to forget about the whole…friends with benefits shit right now and just be your friend, Vada.” You slumped your shoulders. “Can you just talk to me?”

“I like you, okay?!” she shouted suddenly, clenching her eyes shut. “I like you, and you obviously don’t like me back, and that’s fine. I’ll deal.” She ran a hand down her face. “You should probably go back inside to Brittany.”

Silence blanketed you, filling the air as you took in her words.

“You like me?”

Vada bit her bottom lip and sighed in defeat. “Yeah. I do.” She looked at you. “I’m sorry.”

“I thought you were--Are you not sleeping with Mia, too?”

Her face scrunched. “Why would I be sleeping with Mia?”

You shrugged. “I don’t know. You guys have just been spending a lot of time together, and Mia’s, you know, conventionally attractive, and Nick brought it up, and I just…I don’t know. The idea stuck with me, I guess.”

“Well, I’m not sleeping with Mia. I don’t…” She shivered. “I can’t even think of Mia that way.”

“Oh.” You furrowed your eyebrows. “So, you like me?”

“Do I have to say it again?”

You chuckled suddenly, and Vada watched you. “Dude, we’re fucking idiots.”

“W--what?”

“I like you, too, Vada.” You shrugged, looking around sheepishly. “I just didn’t say anything because I thought that you were, you know, not into me like that.”

“But…Brittany?”

“Nick wanted me to try hooking up with someone else to distract myself from you.” You scoffed. “Obviously it didn't work. But, I mean, we didn’t--I didn’t kiss her. I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”

Her eyes widened as the realization hit her, and she laughed. “Oh my god, we are literally so stupid!”

“I know,” you said. You took a step forward, cupped her cheek with your hand. “So, does this mean I can kiss you, then? You know, in a more romantic way than friends with benefits?”

Vada nodded. “Yes please.”

Before you even had the chance to pull her in, she was pressing her lips to yours, melding them together like she never wanted to be separated from you again. And, honestly, you didn’t think that sounded half bad.

bonus: “you know,” mia said as she watched you and vada in the backyard. “we’re pretty good at this whole meddling thing.”

“yeah,” nick agreed. he took a sip from his drink. “we really are.”

[atinylittlepain]

Apothecary - Chapter Five

joel miller x witchy!reader

series masterlist

she and joel try to figure out their new normal. will her upside-down world be too much for him to handle?

warnings | 18+ smut-adjacent, significant angst, mentions of pregnancy (not what you think), feelings

word count (since someone asked lmao): 5.8K

a/n | we are entering turbulent waters, my darlings. but remember, i promised you a happy ending, and a happy ending you shall get. just, not yet. as always, i love to hear from you about what you think of the chapter, drop me a message and let's chat <3

.........................................

“Dead man walking at three o’clock, boys.” “Watch out, whatever she’s got working on Miller might rub off on you if you get too close to him.” 

“Just a matter of time now, don’t you think?” “Better him than me. I like coming home alive, thank you very much. Miller can have her.” 

The folks talking at the stables are lucky that Joel couldn’t give less of a fuck about what they have to say. He’s got better things to focus on. As the summer has slipped into those long languid days before the first snaps of fall, it’s become common knowledge around town that Joel Miller is the witch’s man. And he couldn’t be more pleased about it. 

The men place wagers on when he’ll wind up dead, and the women, well, they’ve got a different look in their eyes when he comes around now that he’s so clearly caught the attention of the resident witch. But it’s all just noise to Joel, who is completely and unequivocally wrapped up in his woman.  

Tommy has cut down his patrol shifts, and Joel knows it’s because of his brother’s own little superstitious streak, though he’d never admit it to him. But Joel doesn’t mind spending more time working the stables, not when she comes around at midday in between her rounds, sharing her lunch with him, and a little sweetness, before bounding off to wherever she’s needed next. 

He’s learning more about her everyday. What’s true, and what’s baseless rumor. Just the other day, he had witnessed for himself her strange communication with animals when she had calmed a bolting horse with a light palm and a few murmured words, the mare tilting its head at her like it was listening to what she had to say. When she had turned back around to Joel after leading the horse into the stables, she offered him a smile and a shrug. Another truth.

They’ve made a little routine around each other, something he didn’t think he’d ever get again in this world, and he fucking adores it. Today is no different, when the sun starts to drip low in the sky and he’s finally finished shoeing a particularly skittish horse, he heads off from the stables toward her shop to pick up his girls. That’s the other thing, she looks out for Ellie, and Ellie thinks she’s “the fucking coolest.” Joel can’t help but feel like he won the damn lottery every time he steps into her shop and finds them laughing and talking easily in the back.

“Wait, wait, I’ve got a good one for you today.”

“Alright, let’s hear it.”

“What do you call witches who live together?”

“I don’t know, tell me.”

“Broom-mates!” 

“Kid, that one is bad, even for you.” Both she and Ellie whip around from where they had been chatting in the backroom of her shop when they hear his grumbled words. Ellie scoffs.

“What? It’s topical.” She snorts at Ellie’s response, nudging her as she wipes her hands off on a rag.

“It was ok. A little culturally insensitive though. That whole riding around on brooms thing is a total myth.” Ellie’s eyebrows shoot up her forehead at that, and she laughs at the girl’s expression, stepping around her to pad over to Joel.

“Hey there, handsome. Quitting time?” It still catches him off guard sometimes, how easily she slips her arms over his shoulders, leaning in for a quick kiss, calling him handsome, though he can still hear Ellie making gagging noises over the ringing in his ears. 

“Mmhmm, yep, yes ma’am. You ready to go?” She smiles, getting ready to answer him and being abruptly cut off by a sharp mroowww. He’s already expecting it, little paws clawing up his pants leg, a less welcomed development that has recently emerged as Stevie seems to take every chance she gets to make Joel her human scratching post. With a laugh, she scoops the mewling cat up in her arms, holding her out to Joel, though he swerves away slightly.

“Oh c’mon, Joel. Just give her a little pet. She’s trying to show you that she likes you.” He begrudgingly gives Stevie two curt pats on her head to which she lets out an indignant mrrp in response, yellow eyes squinting at him. No matter how many times she’s tried to convince him that Stevie likes him, Joel is still not sure what the cat thinks of him, or more importantly, what he thinks of her. There’s been a few times now when he has stumbled down stairs in the middle of the night to get a glass of water, still rubbing sleep out of his eyes, and he’s found the cat, frozen midstep, going god knows where out the backdoor. How Stevie got the door open in the first place is beyond him…

Ellie huffs from behind them, shuffling over and taking Stevie out of her arms, the feline immediately nuzzling up to her and purring like the most content engine ever. 

“You can’t just bop her on the head like that, old man. Stevie likes a gentle touch.” She giggles at Ellie’s admonishment, her hand that had been resting on his chest coming up to scratch lightly at his scruff as he grumbles. 

“Jesus christ, are y’all ready to go or not?” 

They certainly make an odd little team walking down the main drag of Jackson, his arm slung over her shoulders, Ellie walking a bit ahead of them carrying Stevie like a baby. There are stares, of course, there always are, and even a loose whisper here and there as they make their way home. Or, he supposes, to his and Ellie’s home, though she spends most nights with him these days. 

Pieces of her life have become permanent fixtures at the Miller residence, her “sensitive plants,” as she had called them, lining the windowsills downstairs, a few thick books of hers stacked on his nightstand, her overalls hanging off the corner of his bathroom door. He’d never admit it to anyone, but it actually makes him quite sentimental, these tangible reminders that he gets to call her his. Though there are always a few nights a week that she slips off by herself, going back to the shop or her own place after dinner. He tries not to think too hard about those times, and what she might be up to. After all, there are still a whole lot of things about her that he can’t quite believe, his mind playing catch-up with the strangeness of it all. But he reckons it’s worth it to get to have her like he does right now, an easy hand on her hip as they get dinner ready, Ellie rambling at the kitchen table about something Dina said earlier at school.

And while it feels so good, this routine they’ve slipped into, there’s always a twinge of guilt laced through when his mind wanders to the world just outside of Jackson’s gates, to his past, and the harsh dissonance between this present sweetness and that old pain. He had once asked Tommy about it, how he lives in this strange sliver of normal after the life they’ve known, and his brother had just shrugged and said that maybe it was exactly because of their past that they deserve whatever respite they can find now. 

“Penny for your thoughts?” Her voice snaps him out of his mind, eyes focusing back on her sitting across from him at the table, dinner long finished and Ellie off wreaking havoc with the other Jackson teens.  Don’t tell anyone, but Joel Miller has traded in his usual nightcap at the Tipsy Bison for a warm cup of whatever she steeps in a kettle on the stove. He doesn’t mind the taste, and it saves him a headache in the morning, and right now, the warmth from his mug anchors him just enough to ask her what’s been on his mind.

“Y’know, you never did tell me how you knew– about Sarah.” Her eyes soften around the edges, smile drooping just slightly.

“Well, I told you that I see the world in threads. The thread between you and Sarah– your daughter– it’s a particularly strong one.” 

“Even though– even though she’s gone?”

“She isn’t gone, Joel, not really. I can feel her all around you.” His head spins with her words, tightness settling in his chest, and he doesn’t realize he had been clenching his fist until she reaches out for him, unfurling his fingers in her hand.

“Can you– could you– could you talk to her?” Her brows pinch, lips pressing into a thin frown at his question.

“I’m sorry, baby, I can’t. People– like me– we all have different talents. I had an aunt who’d have long conversations with her husband who had passed on– but that’s never been something I’m able to do.” He swallows hard, nodding, feeling a bit foolish for asking the question in the first place.

“But you said you can– feel her?” That brightens back her smile, and she squeezes his hand in hers.

“We’re all just energy. Even when we die, that can never be destroyed. So yes, I can feel her with you, and how much she loved– loves you.” It becomes too much for him all at once, the hot prick of tears behind his eyes spurring him to tug his hand out of hers. She says his name like a question, but he’s already stumbling out of his chair and toward the front door. 

“Wait, Joel– just– where are you going?” It breaks his heart, the concern laced through her words, and when he turns to give her a response, his hand still on the doorknob, he can barely look at her.

“I’m sorry– I can’t– it’s just– I can’t– it’s too much– it’s all too much.” Perfect silence, she offers no reply to his words, and he doesn’t wait around to hear one, slipping out the front door and stumbling into the quickening night.

…

She fucked up, it becoming clear to her with the slam of his front door behind him. All she wanted was for him to have the truth, hoping that it could be a comfort to him. But obviously she had been mistaken in thinking that. He said that it was too much, but the implication of those words was apparent, that she’s too much. She knows better than to follow him, having figured enough out about Joel Miller to understand that any prodding will be unwelcomed, so she stands, feeling a bit helpless, in the middle of his living room. But then she starts looking around, seeing her plants everywhere, a few of her bracelets on the coffee table along with one of her books, knowing there’s more where that came from up in his bedroom, and she starts to think that she had come on too strong, that she was too much. 

He was spooked by what she said, there were no two ways about it. She’d recognize that look in his eyes anywhere. She just hated that it had been in his eyes. Suddenly, she wants, needs, to get out of his house, and away from the deafening silence of being alone. She grabs her satchel, hastily shoving whatever odds and ends of herself strewn around his house that she can into her bag. She’s with it enough to lock the front door and slip out the back, figuring that wherever he went, he won’t be back for a while. The hot slip of tears comes before she can stop it, hurrying away from Joel’s house and toward her shop, intent on doing the one thing she knows will calm her mind.

…

He fucked up. He knew it the second he stepped out on his porch, and had even thought about turning back around right then, going back inside, trying to talk it out with her. But there was nothing to talk out, she’d done nothing wrong, he knew that. It had been such a jarring conversation for him, straddling the line between disbelief and something that touched a little too close to bone for his taste, and unable to stay up on the tightrope with her, he bolted. 

The Tipsy Bison is quieter tonight, it being the middle of the week, but that’s a blessing to him, not wanting to run into anyone he knows while he tries to fuzz out his thoughts with booze. It plays over and over again in his mind.

I can feel her all around you.

Joel reckons that more than anything else, the feeling that had propelled him out of his house and away from her had been anger, that she can feel something he would give anything to feel himself. Very early on, he’d talk to Sarah, every night, asking her for signs. It had been in a fit of frustration when no signs ever came that he had pointed a gun at his temple and missed. So for her to so easily say that, to bridge that gap he had been clawing at for twenty years, it had set loose a dark mix of emotions he had been trying to stifle for a long time. And he believes her too, no matter how fantastical it seems. He knows that whatever she does choose to tell him, it’s always the truth, which only makes it sting worse. 

He feels sick to his stomach after his first tumbler of whiskey, a gnawing pain he can’t shake, his mind replaying the glance he got of her face before he left, a crumpled look, something bordering on fear. And he suddenly has no interest in staying at the bar any longer, pushing away his glass and walking out onto the empty streets of Jackson, having stayed in there long enough for night to lay down heavy and cool over the town. 

A pause, trying to get his bearings, to get out of his head, his eyes wander over the storefronts outside the Tipsy Bison, though it’s a figure emerging from between the shops that catches his attention.

“What’re you doing out here, trouble?”

meooowww

He shuffles across the street over to Stevie, meeting her in the alleyway she just sauntered out of. Bending at the waist, he offers out his palm, Stevie rubbing her cheek up against his fingers with a satisfied purr.

“Think I messed up a little.” Stevie lets out a mrow at that, and if she hadn’t been nuzzling at his palm, he would’ve sworn that she nodded her head at his words. Joel sighs, standing back upright, Stevie’s yellow eyes looking up at him, unblinking.

“Better go talk to her, huh?” This time, there’s no other explanation for the little bob of the cat’s head, and Joel has to let out a laugh at the sheer absurdity of it. Whatever this new normal is, ain’t nothing normal about it.

“Alright, trouble, you coming?” He gets no response, because, hello, it’s a cat. But when he starts walking, Stevie falls into step next to him. 

The whole walk home, he’s so preoccupied with what he wants to say to her that he’s completely caught off guard when he goes to open the front door and finds it locked. Not a light is on inside, either, and he can’t help the frustration rising in his chest, Stevie starting to claw at his pants not helping one bit. She stops just as soon as she started, giving him an expectant look before turning around and padding down his porch steps. At his wit’s end, all Joel can think to do is follow the cat.

…

This is when she feels closest to her mother. Sweat pricking along her hairline, the sleeves of an old work shirt hiked up to her armpits, the backdoor to the shop cracked open to air out the fumes, and a bandana tied over the bridge of her nose, covering the lower half of her face as she works. 

She’s had to make changes to the process in this new world. Where they used to buy lye from the local craft store, she now has to make it herself, leaching wood ash in barrels in the alley outside the shop. Where they used to use exotic oils like neem and jojoba, she now makes due with beeswax and sunflower seed oil. But she still stirs honey, mint, and lavender into the mix, the scent a pure dose of home for her. 

Her eyes burn as she stirs, the sharp sting of vapors from the lye a welcome distraction from all the thoughts still winding around her mind. She’s done this a thousand times, moving with measured precision, the mixture swirling thick and black as she carefully ladles it into the wooden mold. They used to make huge batches every spring, rectangular molds the size of garden beds, and once the soap was set and cured, they’d slice it up into small blocks, enough for the year and then some. Now she only makes a little at a time, when she wishes more than anything she still had her mother with her, telling her what the next right step is. 

She wipes away the cool drip of sweat on her forehead with the back of her hand, turning the stove off with a jerk of her chin. Some things never get old. But before she can take the now empty stock pot over to the sink, Stevie comes slinking in, nuzzling up against her ankles. She tugs her bandana down from her nose, letting it hang around her neck as she looks down at her girl.

“What’d you get into tonight, little miss?” 

“She talked some sense into me.” Her head whips up at the sound of his voice, seeing Joel leaning against the backdoor frame. She can’t help but feel a bit exposed in her ratty attire, and she wonders how much he had seen. She’s never had anyone around when she’s done this before, and it feels like a vulnerability she wasn’t ready to extend to him.

She sniffs, squaring her shoulders and trying to seem unphased by his presence, willing her voice to come out steady.

“Oh?” She feels like she needs to swallow around something thick in her throat, words getting stuck somewhere in her chest. 

“I’m sorry– that I just bolted. I wasn’t expecting that– what you said– and I reacted without much thought.” Her fingers itch with want, to reach for him, to thumb away the crease between his brows. But she resists it, staying where she is, her hands bunching into the fabric of her loose shirt instead.

“You don’t have to apologize, Joel. I’m the one who should be saying I’m sorry. You were right– it was too much, and I should have been able to see that. I’m sorry that I pressed too hard.” He kicks up off the doorframe, stepping into the shop, and immediately lets out a few harsh coughs, thumping his fist against his chest as he squints at her.

“Is there– a reason– my throat feels like– it’s on fire?” She curses low, quickly guiding him by the shoulders back out of the shop and into the alley.

“Fuck! I’m sorry! It’s the fumes from the lye. I guess I’m just used to it by now.” She rubs quick circles across his back as he continues to let out wheezy coughs, looking at her with wide eyes when he finally catches his breath.

“What the hell are you doing with lye, woman?” The harsh tone of his words makes her jerk back from him, stepping just out of reach as she crosses her arms over her chest.

“It’s for soap. That’s what I’m doing, making fucking soap. Not whatever all those people you talked to put into your head.” His face blanches in the moonlight, jaw slack at her words.

“That’s not– I didn’t mean it like that.” She scoffs, anger suddenly feeling like a really good idea as she takes another step back when he goes to reach for her.

“Oh really? Are you sure about that, Joel? Are you sure that this isn’t too much for you? That I’m not too much for you?” She regrets the words the instant they leave her mouth, her mounting insecurity a thick sludge in her throat as silence settles between them. 

“This ain’t about the soap, is it?” She has to laugh at his timid question, throwing her hands out in frustration.

“Yes– no– fuck, I don’t know. I just– the way you looked at me? When I told you about Sarah? I’ve seen that look before, and I know it well– it usually means that it’s time for me to go.” 

“Go? What do you mean go? I don’t want you to go anywhere, goddamnit!” The sharp raise of his voice catches her by surprise, his frustration clear in the long drag of his palm down his face, the sigh he lets out as he squints at her in the dim light.

“Then I need you to tell me right now if what I do, what I am, is going to be a problem for you. Because if it is, I can’t– can’t do this.” She can’t fight it down anymore, the hiccup in her voice, the warble that threatens tears, and Joel’s features soften at the little sniff she lets out.

“You know it’s not a problem for me, you know that. But– I ain’t gonna lie to you, this ain’t easy, darlin. All these things I sure as shit didn’t believe in until I met you. Sometimes I feel like my world’s been turned upside down trying to wrap my head around it all.” She doesn’t step away this time, when he gets closer to her, tentative hand reaching out and circling around her wrist before sliding down to tangle his fingers with hers.

“It’s a lot. But it’s not too much. I promise you.” Words she’s never heard before, and now she really can’t stop the tears muddling up her vision and slipping down her cheeks. He takes another step closer, his other hand coming up to brush away stray salt with the backs of his knuckles. And it finally clicks for her in that moment just how much she wants him to mean it, how much she wants him to stay, and it terrifies her. 

“I really am sorry, Joel– about what I said earlier. I should’ve been more careful.” He holds his palm steady against her cheek, dark eyes swimming in shadows.

“I was the one that asked, darlin. I just– I’m gonna need a little more time with– with that.” She sighs, having already reached a conclusion that she doesn’t like one bit, though she knows it’s for the best. She isn’t going to let this be like any of the times before.

“I think that maybe we should take things– slower.” She can tell that Joel doesn’t like that, his brow scrunching up, thumb stilling where it had been stroking along the arc of her cheek.

“S-slower?” She nods, squeezing his hand that’s still tangled up in hers.

“We rushed into this, didn’t we? I mean– it’s only been a few weeks since we really started seeing each other, and I’m already practically living with you.” His face really falls at that, a deep frown settling around his lips.

“You don’t wanna live with me, is that it?” She’d laugh if he wasn’t looking so pitiful about it, instead offering him her best smile as she brings her other hand up to brush his hair out of his face.

“That isn’t what this is about, Joel. I just think it might be good for us– for you– if you’re not in my– upside-down world– all the time, at least at first. Like getting acclimated to a new altitude, you gotta take it slow.” She knows it’s a weak explanation the minute the words leave her mouth, but she also knows she’s right. Joel, on the other hand, still has a displeased scrunch to his face, like someone just told him a tasteless joke. 

“Uh, well, ok– if that’s what you want then– I mean, I guess we can– we can do that– we can take things– slow.” He keeps clearing his throat between words, stop-starting himself like he’s trying to convince himself he means it as he’s saying it. And when he finally gets it all out, with a firm little nod of his head, she can’t help but reward him with a quick kiss.

“Thank you, baby. I really think this is important– I wouldn’t have suggested it if I didn’t.” He nods again, his hand that had been cupping her cheek trailing down her shoulder, her arm, until he’s holding both her hands in his.

“So, what does this look like– us taking it slow?” 

“We can figure it out as we go. But for right now, I think we can say goodnight, and I’ll go back to my place, and you’ll go back to yours.” 

“Can I walk you home?” Her heart tugs at that, his question so earnestly asked, only making it harder for her to respond with a sigh.

“I kinda have to clean up the shop still. I can’t really leave that stuff out overnight, y’know? A-and I obviously don’t want you messing with it, so–”

“No, I-I get it, that’s alright. Um, so I guess, goodnight then.” She’s never seen him so flustered, having to stifle a giggle when he realizes he’s still holding her hands and lets go with a huff. He seems to think on it for a beat, quickly ducking in and pressing the most precious kiss to her cheek, muttering a quiet “goodnight, darlin” as he turns to head home, shoving his hands deep into his pockets and taking a few jerky looks over his shoulder at her before he rounds the corner of the alley. 

She turns back to the shop with a sigh, Stevie sitting in the back doorway, head tilted at her.

“What? It’s for the best, you’ll see.”

…

For the record, Joel doesn’t like this taking it slow business, at all. He’s not even sure how she got him to agree to it, he had been so turned around that night, and she had been giving him those eyes… But no, he doesn’t like it, not one bit. 

To start with, he doesn’t like that she no longer comes around to the stables at mid-day, no quick kisses, no easy smiles. Nothing. And he doesn’t like that she no longer comes over for dinner every night, and not just because she’s a better cook than him. He doesn’t like that his walk home from the stables no longer includes a regular stop by her shop. And he doesn’t like that he has to hear from Ellie what his woman was up to that day. He hates that they go on dates now, like normal fucking people, scheduling time to be together instead of just throwing out the clock and moving like magnets. But perhaps more than any of his other qualms, the thing he hates the most is that he doesn’t get her in his bed every night.

When he agreed to take things slow, he didn’t know it meant this slow. He didn’t know it meant goodnight kisses and holding hands but that’s it slow. Afterall, he’s only a man, and after getting to have her the way that he did, it feels damn near impossible not to crave that like a drug.

He’ll admit that she was right, taking it down a notch has made it easier to wrap his head around the things that she shares with him. But it’s been three weeks of this, and he’d turn himself upside-down, inside-out, and every which way around if it meant speeding things back the fuck up.

Laying in bed, his mind swirls with images of her. Is it gross that he hasn’t washed his sheets since the last time she stayed over? He doesn’t really care, not when there’s still a faint trace of incense and lavender on the pillow she slept on. 

His mind wanders to the last time he had her here. It was early in the morning, before either of them had to go to work, and she had lazily slung a bare thigh over his waist, perfect in the hazy morning light as she straddled him. It had been slow and sweet, taking time that they didn’t really have. She was so warm and soft for him, all gentle sighs, the mesmerizing curve of her hips and the sway of her breasts, an image that works him up now in the cool darkness of his empty bed. 

It’s not the same, of course it’s not the same. But it’ll have to do for now. He holds her steady in his mind, a dream, an idol, a fucking goddess, and he palms himself through his boxers, a damp spot already forming from just thinking about her. He kicks his sheets off, shrugging his boxers down just enough to let his cock spring out, pre-come smearing over his stomach where it now rests. Part of him can see how pathetic this looks, rubbing one out every night to the dream of his woman, but he wouldn’t have to if they weren’t taking things so goddamn slow. Now, a normal person would think that maybe he should just talk to her about picking up the pace. But he’s too stubborn for that, and he knows it, and it drives him crazy that he equates having that conversation with defeat. Joel tells himself that he can do this, he can give her what she wants, respect her boundaries, no matter how stupid he thinks they are. 

He doesn’t take his time with himself. This is purely about release for him, and he knows exactly how to get himself there, spitting harshly into his hand and wrapping his palm around the base of his cock, scrunching his eyes shut as he starts to work himself over. 

She’s all he thinks about in these moments, how her hands are so much different than his, still calloused from the work she does, but softer, and smaller. He thinks about the plush of her lips, and how they fall open when she comes, the little crease between her brow her other tell. He thinks about the way her spine curves and curls, and how his palms would run circuits around the arc as he took her from behind. His mind flashes with images of her, and it isn’t long before he’s coming with a low groan of her name, his spend smearing over his knuckles. 

Maybe it’s the fact that it’s been nearly a month now, or maybe he’s just more tired than usual, but Joel feels a particular pang of despair as he cleans himself up, and it’s enough to crack whatever resolve he had left. 

He sleeps better that night, having decided that first thing the next morning he’s going to stop by the apothecary and he’s going to tell her that he’s done taking it slow. 

That plan falls apart the moment he enters her shop. The first thing he notices is her bag, strewn out on the floor, a few jars and bottles spilling out of it, and his heart sinks. Next to Stevie, that bag is her baby, and Joel immediately knows that something isn’t right for it to be crumpled on the floor. 

He calls out her name, but gets no response, though Stevie comes skittering out of the back room, making a beeline for his legs, frantically mewling as she rubs up against his pants leg, insistent and loud, and that isn’t quite right to him either. 

Trying not to step on Stevie as she stays glued to his ankles, he shuffles into the back room, his brow scrunching up when he doesn’t see her, at least not right away.

“Joel?” That’s a voice he’s never heard from her before, barely there, hoarse, like she could only just get the word out. He steps further into the room, peering around the butcher’s block, and that’s when he finally sees her. 

She’s curled in on herself, knees up to her chin, sitting in the back corner of the room. Her eyes are red-rimmed and swimming, tears streaking down her cheeks, the sight all but taking his breath away. He moves fast, his mind screaming at him that he needs to fix it, to make it better, whatever it is. 

He’s quick to get down to her level, palms steadying her jaw as another resounding round of sobs rolls through her chest. 

“Hey, hey– it’s ok, I’m here, huh? I’m right here. What– what happened? What is it?” His questions only seem to make her cry harder, shaking her head in his hands. She brings her hands to clasp his wrists, and it’s then that he notices dried blood lining her fingernails.

“You’re scaring me here, darlin. I need you to tell me what happened, please.” 

“I lo-lost her– I lost her, I lost her, I can’t believe I lost her–” She breaks herself off with another sob, and Joel shifts to sit down next to her, wrapping his arms around her shuddering shoulders to coax her into his chest. 

“Who– who’d you lose, darlin?” She evens out her shuddering breaths with a hard sigh, her answer coming on a few disjointed exhales.

“Maura went into labor last night– and I– and I– it was a girl– she was a girl– and she wasn’t breathing– she wasn’t breathing, Joel. And I didn’t know what to do.” She dissolves into another sob, and Joel doesn’t know what to do besides hold her a little closer, shock and sadness simmering in his veins. He remembers her telling him about Maura, one of her regular house visits to check on the progress of her pregnancy. She always told him how excited the woman seemed to get to become a mother. 

“Is– is Maura ok?” He’s surprised by the bitter huff she lets out at that.

“I don’t kn-know. She kicked me out– told me it was my fault– she’s right– it’s all my– all my fault.” He’s quick to bring his palm to her jaw, coaxing her eyes up to meet his, gentle but firm pressure holding her there.

“Listen to me, it is not your fault. Not anyone’s fault, and it’s especially not yours. Whatever happened, I promise you, it is not your fault, do you understand?” She gives him no answer, just lets out another shaky sigh before burying her face back in his chest.

And all he can do is hold her as close as he can, and will some of her pain to seep into his skin, to make it even a little more bearable, to carry that for her. He reckons that he’d take it all away from her if he could.

................................

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