#and then got mad when my friends asked if she was supportive and i didnt reply with a resounding yes 💀

[faaun]

i feel rly sad and conflicted abt one of my best friends on earth but idk who to ask for advice bc i usually would have consulted her in this situation lmao

[scorpiusmalfoylovesoscarwilde]

I love 😍😘😆 being dead 🪦🥀 named 🏷 by my mother 👩‍🍼👩‍🍼👩‍👦👩‍👦in front of ‼️‼️ people 🧍🏻‍♂️🧍🏻‍♂️who previously only knew my chosen name 😍😍🥳🥳😆😆🤩🤩😝😝🤗🤗

[phagodyke]

ykw actually I am angry + disappointed w them. I've been pushing how I feel aside and trying to make it my own fault so it's all contained but I think theyve just been mean. and they really should know me better ik I try to pretend I don't expect more from them so I feel less hurt when they do things that upset me but we've been friends for years by this point. like come on.

[freebooter4ever]

The tech guys are hanging out in my office again and chatting about $10,000 week long vacations like this is normal.

[azulpitlane]

vicious pt two I ln4

pairing: ex!lando norris x reader, charles leclerc x reader summary: you are trying to move on from lando but he refuses to notes: more dramaaa and asshole lando sorry, this is short cause i kind of got busy🧍‍♀️ part one, masterlist

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, maxfewtrell and 3,268,379 others

yourusername emails i cant send is officially yours💌

it has been a long and emotional process writing this album but i loved and enjoyed every bit of it<3 im so excited to share this piece of my life with you and officially close this chapter and move on

thank you for the support, ill see you all soon❤️

view all comments

user OMGG IM ALREADY CRYING ITS SO AMAZING

user stfu is that charles in the fifth pic?!?

user it is!! he was credited in a few songs for instruments🥹🥹

user because i liked a boy hits so different when u know what she went through :(

maxfewtrell running on stream to listen to it

yourusername pls dont hate im still sensitive user omg noo i cant watch whats he saying about it?? user he loves every song, hes being so supportive and said hes team y/n😭

user her friendship with charles is so cute omg

user “friendship” rightttt😏

user lost lando but got charles, a win is a win

francisca.cgomes love love love💌

user omg i know charles introduced them

user ‘ill see you soon’ ARE YOU TOURING???

pietra.pilao so incredibly proud of you❤️ such an amazing album

yourusername p ily and miss u sm🥹❤️ pietra.pilao i miss you more we need to get together soon! yourusername otw to text u so make plans rn🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️

user the fact that landos friends are still supportive despite the breakup tells me everything i need to know

user “officially close this chapter” new era fr🫶

charles_leclerc so honored you even asked me to be apart of this❤️so proud of you ma cherie

yourusername so grateful for you❤️ user JUST DATEEEE user now kiss!!!

Lando so you and y/n huh?

Charles she's my friend is that a problem?

Lando i dont remember ever introducing you two?

Charles not that its any of your concern but i introduced myself last year on the paddock while you were too busy ignoring her

Lando so when i had back turned, you took the chance to steal my girlfriend?

Charles dont try turning this into something its not she's trying to move on so i think its time you do the same lando dont ask about her again. read

f1gossip

463,582 likes

f1gossip Following Y/n Y/l/n's album release, Lando and Charles have unfollowed each other on instagram! It is not confirmed if Y/n is the reason why, but it is heavily speculated. It seems Lando was the first to unfollow and Charles quickly followed suit.

view all comments

user all too much for little lando norris

user y/n breaking up a friendship now����

user she didnt do anything except release an album on how she felt, if lando gets offended by that then hes clearly the problem here

user 16 4 fans lost today but then again lando started it🤷‍♀️

user karma works in funny ways @landonorris

user lando has every right to be mad imo

user not at all, he treated her like shit then cheated and now hes mad she has friends in f1? make it make sense

user why watch soap operas when you can watch f1

user 2024 season is gonna HIT

user charles is going to have the motivation for wdc now, ferrari fans won🙏

user even though im a lando fan, i have to be team charles and y/n on this one sorry

user yup, after listening to her album i definitely support y/n

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, francisca.cgomes and 3,295,204 others

yourusername first time performing my new album at my one night show was the best time ever!! thank you for all that showed up you were an amazing crowd❤️

and just in case you missed my little announcement, bet u wanna is my next single of this album...this one's a little funny when you know the context🙊

view all comments

user wish i was able to go :(

user WHATS THE CONTEXT??

user listen to the lyrics, lando definetly wanted her back after his side girl cheated AHAH

user i need to know if charles was there

francisca.cgomes such a wonderful night💌 liked by yourusername

user your stage presence is so amazing

luisinhaoliveira99 so great seeing you🤍 liked by yourusername

user SHE WAS THERE?!? user pls tell me you guys took pictures together

user bet u wanna is so good omg

user are you opening for eras tour in europe

user it is rumored, i hope its true😭

f1gossip

376,845 likes

f1gossip Charles, Pierre, Kika and Luisa leaving Y/n Y/l/n's concert in LA tonight! Thoughts on the singer's new friendship with the drivers and girls?

view all comments

user i love them😭❤️

user i was there and saw charles with pierre and kika singing along to every song🥹

user SHUT UPPPP user stop theyre so cute

user luisa and y/n mean everything to me

user them supporting y/n despite the drama with lando shows a lot about him

user ive never wanted to part of a gc so bad

user charles is so supportive, yk who wouldnt be....

user i need them to date, he would treat y/n so good

scuderiaferrari

liked by charles_leclerc, yourusername and 1,402,440 others

scuderiaferrari Special guest for the first qualification of the season! Thanks for coming to the our garage❤️

tagged yourusername

view all comments

user OMFGGG

user i need pics of her and charles NOW

user charles got p1 cause bae was watching🙈

user is she staying all weekend!?!

user her and charles supporting each other omg

user are they finally dating??

user he was asked about it in an interview and he said they were just friends! user ugh can charles make a move already? i dont want another lando situation..

user i wonder if she bumped into lando😳

Lando was y/n really in ferrari garage?

Carlos yeah... are you okay mate?

Lando how can i be? he stole my girlfriend and is now parading her around the paddock its fucked up

Carlos he did say they were just friends and i didnt see them acting like a couple or anything

Lando there's gotta be something more i just need y/n to see who he really is

Carlos i dont know, maybe its time you move on mate

Lando no, i cant give up now do you have an extra paddock pass?

Carlos why...

Lando remember charles' crazy ex girlfriend who was obsessed with him? i heard shes in town to see him what if we send her the paddock pass so she can show y/n how charles treated her

Carlos this seems a little crazy lando why dont you just talk to y/n?

Lando she wont even let me get near her just please carlos? and then i wont ever bring it up again if it doesnt work

Carlos fine but dont tell anybody about this

Lando thank you mate, i owe you

tags: @iamahallucinationnn, @sofiacblair

[narcissarina]

I read a hilarious Reddit post of a guy saying “called my wife after I got shot and actually said ‘hey honey, I kinda got shot’ and she was mad I said it like that” and all I can picture is re2!Leon (maybe RC didnt get destroyed, so he’s a cute lil rookie) getting a call from his s/o and s/o is like, in the hospital or something and is like “Hey, just so you know there’s a dude with a gun mugging people. Oh btw, he tried to mug me and I kinda got shot”

Poor pookie is gonna be SO distraught.

LEON WOULD LAUGH AND CRY AT THE SAME TIME😭😭😭 making a short one shot outta this, sorry it took so long😭😭🙏

𝚂𝚑𝚘𝚝 𝙲𝚊𝚕𝚕

Leon was working a little late so he made sure to tell you, he’s finishing up his report and check his phone for the time. His thoughts drift you, he wonders how beautiful you sleep in your shared bed and how he’ll slowly get on bed—careful not to wake you up until your feel the bed weight shifts and turn to him and ask him that he just got home in a tired tone.

Files were stacked on his desk; messy and pens all over. He picked the papers he should organize, pens in its case. He yawns and keep himself awake with some coffee, he hums as he thought of you.

As if the noise seems to muffle, leaving Leon on his own in his world. His phone rang, snapping him back and took his phone. Its was your number on display, a big grin planted on his face as he picked up, “hey, baby. Need something?” he asked, his tone sweet and loving, “uhm…” your voice was heard from the end of his phone.

“Yeah, baby?”

“I’m in a hospital right now.” Before you could speak further, Leon hang up the call, adrenaline course through him.

Everything is clean in this room, you were lying in a hospital bed with the monitor beeping. You look down at your phone that shows Leon hang up on you, cutting you off before finishing what you had to say.

You place your phone down near the bed drawer and deeply inhales, you pick up a nurse shouting from outside your room, “sir, you can’t come in there!”

You flinched, tugging the blanket close to you as Leon burst right to the door—sweat running down his forehead, he’s out of breath as he spots you in the bed, “baby, what happened?” he asked, rushing to your side and squeezing your hand as he brought your knuckles to his lips.

“I just want to buy you your favorite food because I was planning to stay up late and wait for you on the dinner table.” He hums and nod, “yeah?”

“There was this dude who’s mugging people,” Leon raise a brow and nodded, “where is he?” he asked, going to call units to find the smuggler. “He tried to mug me and I kinda got shot.” Your lips turn to thin lines as Leon’s face dropped and his mouth open.

Silence comes between you as he let out a small, “huh?” he was distraught, “got shot.” You repeat and laugh it off, “don’t worry I’m—holy shit are you crying?” your tone changing to chill to concern, “are you okay?” he sniffle, he just couldn’t believe that you would laugh it off and go about your day.

He leans close and bury his head to your stomach, “Leon, I’m fine.” You assured, “no, you’re not fine.” He mumbles and you could feel warm liquids from your hospital gown, “I’m sorry, I’ll try to get off work as early as I can and be with you and won’t let this happen again.” He apologized to something he can’t control, you smiled at his warm words and assurance.

“There’s no need for that,” you said, “yes it do.” He insist and called up a friend back to R.P.D to catch the smuggler as he promised you to make that guy apologize for shooting and trying to mug you. What you kept in mind is Leon is just super worried and blamed himself when you get hurt and he’s not there to support you when it happen.

“You’re such a baby.”

“I’m your baby.” You earn a laugh from him as he pulls you into a sweet and tender kiss, “not going to lie, it was kind of funny—but it’s also not funny since you got shot.”

𝑳𝒂𝒖𝒈𝒉𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉 𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒏, 𝒍𝒐��𝒆 𝒖𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒓 𝒔𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒊𝒏.

[letsgetrowdy43]

omg the first two parts of the hughes sister and adam is so good ur writing is so nice.

need a part where adam and reader explain to luke how they didnt know when they started going out and lukes reaction

The apology—

Au Masterlist!!

Luke and you had not talked since his tantrum in the hotel room (I would be pissed too if I was him, but I always support women's wrongs.)

Not to mention the way that he had ignored you like the plague the moment you both landed back in Michigan.

If there was one thing besides hockey Luke was good at, it was holding grudges (tell me I'm wrong. you can't. I'm always right.)

You on the other hand were distraught, over the entire last 24 hours in halifax

Not only did you have to say goodbye to all your family members and return back to Umich for the winter semester, but your best friend was no longer on speaking terms with you.

You saw Adam a handful of times in the next month, opting to put a pause on your relationship until you figured your shit out

Adam was really good at making you feel better about the guilt (which is a big reason you asked to take a break)

You needed the guilt, you needed to feel bad about it all so you could apologize to Luke for breaking his trust.

Luke Warren Hughes is a bitch for making you cry and doubt your morals like that (I keep it real)

Adam on the other hand was obviously upset about it but was more mad at Luke for being okay with letting his little sister suffer over something so stupid.

Luke and Adam definitely got into it one day at practice

They are doing drills when one of the other boys makes a comment about how Adam was being uptight (cause he's no longer getting laid 🤭)

That comment really hit a weak spot for Luke and while they were scrimmaging he and Adam got into a scrum (Adam fighting 😼)

Naurato and Nolan pulled both boys from practice and brought them into the office

Nolan absolutely ripped into them for bringing their personal issues onto the ice and spewed some (as both Luke and Adam would say) bullshit about breaking the bond of the team.

Both the boys sat in silence as they awaited their dismissal

But before they both left Adam stopped Luke in the doorway to finally address the situation

"I know you're mad, be mad at me all you want, I don't care, but don't torture your sister," he said with exhaustion filling his tone, as he walked out of the office.

Luke was definitely taken aback

So he got home to the sophomore house and gave you a call

"Lu? Is everything okay?" your voice filled with worry as he let out a sigh on the other end of the call.

"I want us to figure this out." "Can I come over to talk?" "Please."

and that's how you ended up in your brother's room, with a sad look on your face as he hugged you and shut the door behind him.

I like to picture the four other boys living in the house sitting by the door trying to listen in on the conversation (these boys live and breathe for a good drama session)

The two siblings sat there tensely for a second before you finally started to explain

"I had no idea who he was, up until the hockey party" you confessed, slight guilt about allowing it to continue after a certain point (let's be fr she's not that guilty... I mean have you seen Adam??)

Luke was still having trouble understanding why you would go after Adam, even after finding out that he was on the team, knowing the rule that middle school Luke and yourself made

"I really like him, Lu, he's the first boy I've felt a genuine connection with," you softly smiled, face turning a light shade of pink as you thought about the past few months.

"Meeting him on my own terms and him not knowing about Jacky, Quinner, or you was the best part, cause I didn't have to feel like I had something to prove"

Luke just sat there with parted lips while staring at the slight embarrassment on your face as you spilt your guts

He'd never thought of it that way

He had no idea you'd been insecure about this type of thing

"He's really worth it?" Luke joked as you bit back a smile and nodded your head, "he really is."

Luke nodded slowly and pulled you in for another hug, the tears that you had been holding in let themselves go as you began hugging him back

At that moment he made a silent promise to never ignore you again, not like the way he had, not to let you suffer

"You're really sure he's okay? Cause I have no problem fighting him in your honour"

A laugh passed your lips, "I already heard about your little scrum this morning"

Luke is a softie for his little sister (confirmed)

[graysnetwork]

Chapter II

BBF! Keegan x Reader (Warnings: not proofread, mentions of fighting kinda, blood, broken nose.) Summary: The senior night football game ends badly.

It was senior day and tonight was the last football game I'd see my brother and Keegan play at our high school. They were both growing up and I didn't like it, how were they– Keegan Russ the boy who tripped face first into mud when he slipped after it rained, and Liam (L/N) the boy who broke his arm two weeks into football practice– going to be seniors, going to college, and joining the marines?

I had now idea how they had even gotten through freshman year.

__

“So is your sister gonna be there?” I asked as I peeked my head over the seats. I always got stuck sitting in the back seat since Keegan and Liam were too big to sit in between. “Yeah why?” Keegan turned his head to look at me “Just wondering” i smiled and sat back in my seat “You better not have her hang out with your friends'' he furrowed his brows as he turned all the way to look back at me, he never liked my friends, he didn't hate them but he didnt love them. Keegan only had the memory of coming to my house to pick up his younger sister Marley, and she had her hair curled, makeup on, and not fun little girl makeup, glam makeup. I don't know what type of makeup would have made it better but he was mad.

“What the hell!” Keegan yelled as he woke all of us up, poor Marley was so embarrassed, i had no idea what was going on, while Kim and Hailey were snickering but apologizing. He pulled me outside and asked what had happened last night that caused his little sister to look like she was gonna go to the club. “I dunno, I literally fell asleep like…” i thought for a second “9:30” Marley mutter before Keegan glared at her, “so this was your friends ideas”

He wasn't mad at me, he was mad at them, he seriously said “It's okay sweetheart, go back to bed” and he yelled at my friends after i got in bed.

“I promise they wont do anything stupid, they cant, it's not like i'm gonna fall asleep at the game” i chuckled, his face softened and he sighed “If they do anything, i mean anything, i'm never letting Marley hang out with you guys again” he said and sat back in his seat again.

__

I sat on the bleachers in the student section with my friends and Marley, our families sat a few rows behind us, but we were sitting in the front benches. “So.. what's your boyfriend's number again?” Hailey asked as she sipped on her soda. I turned to her with a confused face “What? I don't have a boyfriend” i said quickly, “Oh c’mon” he chuckled as he looked out onto the field “We all know you and keegan have things for each other” she smirked as she turned back to me and i looked over at Kim who had the same smirk and Marely had a disgusted look on her face, it was her brother we were talking about after all. “I don't know what you guys are talking about” i looked over to Marley for support “As much as I hate to say it, Keegan is way too sweet to you to just be your friend. '' Marley said with raised up brows as if it was a fact. “You guys are forgetting Keegan is Liam’s best friend so has to be nice to me” I said trying to convince them “Sure, just cause your Liam’s sister means he has to drive you places, buy you things, and carry you around when your tired” Hailey rolled her eyes “It was one time!” I said remembering the time that Keegan carried you to the car after a day at the beach with your friends and families.

“Why are you this tired?” he said quietly as the sound of waves filled your ears “we woke up at 5 am to get here, how are you not tired?” I mumbled as I closed my eyes “touché” he smiled, that perfect smile was the last thing I'd seen before I fell asleep the rest of the ride home and only woke up in the middle of the night to my dark bedroom, Keegan nowhere to be found.

“One time, but it was so romantic,” Kim said as they both got up and stood at the railings as the players were about to come out. They ran out, it almost looked like a movie, felt like it too, other than the baby crying everyone's ears off.

“Look at him, gosh you’re lucky” Hailey smirked again as we watched keegan lead the team out and they all huddled up before the game actually started. He looked as perfect as he looked the first time he put that jersey on. “Can we refrain from the comments about my brother?” Marley said with a frown.

__

The game had ended a few minutes ago and I left in a hurry to congratulate Liam and Keegan, i left the bleachers on my own and excitedly went through the crowds and very quickly found out, a few feet away from the players locker room was where all the weird men hung out. I now remembered why i stayed in groups, a man approached me and started hitting on me, it was very weird, i was uncomfortable but my mind went blank, i had no idea what to say or do, and panic really started to set in when i realized the players were coming out a different exit and now I was all alone.

I couldn't even move as I saw Liam walk past the fence I was behind with not even a glance, as did the other players.

Keegan

I walked up behind Liam and looked around at the bleachers noticing y/n was nowhere in sight, maybe she was just throwing something away, or heading to the bathroom. It made no sense but y/n not being anywhere with her friends or family made less sense. I looked around before Kim and Hailey looked down at me, my jaw tensed at the sight of them, they had good intentions but they annoyed the crap outta me, y/n was the only one who i really liked, not just because I like her though. I furrowed my brows as they said “where’s y/n, thought you two lovebirds would be making out right now” they teased her relentlessly about me, and vice versa. I couldn't let anyone know I actually wanted half those things to happen. “I haven't

seen her'' I said. I was starting to worry as I scanned the bleachers again. “Wait what?” Kim said, for the first time ever, I'd seen fear flash on both their faces. “She was gonna go to the locker rooms to congratulate you guys” they said at the same time.

Shit

I dropped everything and started looking around as Kim told liam to start looking for y/n.

I looked over at the fence space between the locker room and the bleachers and saw her, and an older man. One of those perverts that hung around at random places to try and pick girls up. I don't know what happened, but suddenly I was on the other side of the fence punching this man, his bloody nose finally cracking as people crowded around and I saw Liam jump over the fence out of the corner of my eye. He went over to his sister and pulled her back as I yelled at the guy before security finally came over. I was glad this was the last game of the year because if I was gonna get in trouble for this, it didn’t matter.

Once the security guard and my coach were finished yelling at me I walked over y/n and Liam, “Why the hell did you wander off alone!” I yelled at her, it was the first time I’d yelled at her and it was odd, but the anger that coursed through my body overpowered every cell in my brain telling me to calm down and just make sure she was okay. Y/n couldn’t even get a wod out before i yelled at her again “What the fuck was going through your head!” Liam held her close before putting a hand on my shoulder “Alright dude, calm down-”  “Why the hell weren’t you more concerned about your sister!?” I yelled at him “Don't turn this shit on me dude!” He yelled back, what the hell was I doing, blaming Liam for something he didn't know about. All I could think about was the guy's hand that had touched y/n’s hip. I hadn’t touched her in weeks, no hugs, no high fives, just my eyes lingering on her for longer than they should have. That shit pissed me off so much, I should've killed that guy.

__

Y/n

The night ended ended terribly, id apologized for the thousandth time to liam as we got back home but he just went to his room and i went to mine, we had to cancel the dinner we were gonna go to after the game since keegan was still infuriated with everyone even though everyone agreed he was overreacting and it wasn't anybody's fault except for that douchebag. Iaid on my bed for what felt like an eternity and stared at my ceiling until my phone started

ringing. I expected it to be Hailey, or Kim, or even Marley but instead it was Keegan, the contact picture of him asleep with doodles on his face showed up as the phone rang. I contemplated answering; what if he wasn’t done yelling at me and he was calling because he was still angry? Maybe. I took my chances and swiped right to answer the phone.

“Keegan?” I asked quietly, preparing myself for the possibility of yelling in my ear, but all that prep was done for nothing as I listened to his smooth silky voice say “y/n, sweetheart..”

The name made my stomach flip, I swear I felt butterflies flutter as heat rushed up my neck and my cheeks felt hotter than the sun. “listen keegan” I continued my quiet voice as to not be heard through my home. Liam was already pissed, and he hadn’t eaten so he didn’t need to hear the name keegan; a reminder of what ruined the night. “No, you listen” he said sternly, but it was still soft as ever, it was the voice he used when he would teach me something. He always joked that he used the stern voice to get lessons through my thick skull, but he always meant it when he said he'd never yell at me.

Oh my gosh he yelled at me today.

I hadn’t even realized it earlier, it's not like I wasn’t sad about it, I was surprised.

“I know I fucked up tonight, but Ii was really upset you gotta understand that” he said softly “I do” i replied just as softly. “I'm really sorry, i shouldn't have yelled at you or Liam” he said with a sigh “He’ll get over it” i smiled to myself, he was always forgiving. “Still, I shouldn't have yelled”

“Yeah it was a pretty shitty move” I chuckled. “Woah, its bad etiquette for a princess to say bad words” he said, I could hear the airy chuckle he let out after. “Shut up” I smiled as I listened to his laughs.

I could totally get used to this. This was my own personal slice of heaven. It was what I'd always dreamed of. Keegan and I having a late night phone call. Well, my dream was being with Keegan in his arms until I got uncomfortable, which I already knew was impossible since his arms were the safest place to be in the world. But this was close, maybe the top 5 dreams I had.

[actualbird]

confession: i refrained from talking about It here (though i livetweeted the ordeal on my priv lsbdfsdlf) but now that things have calmed down, i wanted to share what's happened

from february 4 to february 12 of 2024, i experienced the most heartbreaking and heart wrenching week of my life. my mother tried to commit suicide several times, and the days were first spent taking care of her while in an overdosed state while she said over and over that she wanted to die before i finally broke and begged her to go to the hospital. up until that point, i was looking after her on my own. i was feeding her, getting her to sit up to drink water, walking her to the bathroom, checking if she was still breathing, and enduring it when she got mad at me and told me she was “fine.” i was hanging on by a thin thread. i’ve always been the house’s caretaker—always known as the pragmatic and responsible one—but this was more than I could ever handle.

“i don’t know how to help anymore,” i told my older sister when i myself had my own breakdown on the night of my mother’s hospitalization. as i hyperventilated and sobbed, the feeling of helplessness shook my body and my words. “i can’t help anymore.”

and then something really wonderful happened: people came and helped

when news got out of my mother's attempts, suddenly my phone was blowing up with texts and messages from people i didnt know. they were her friends: old friends from college, friends from the university she teaches at, her family from the province. they were all asking me and my siblings if they could help with anything: driving, food, money, emotional support. her family in the province drove hours from the province to meet us in the city just to lend a hand in keeping us calm. her friends from the university were the ones who drove her to the hospital and helped us out with a loan and financial aid for the ER bills.

my brother who lives in japan flew in back to the philippines despite having an academic conference just to help. his girlfriend drove him from the airport to the hospital despite having to study for an exam. my older sister's boyfriend came over just to buy us all donuts and food to make sure we were all eating while looking after everything. my girlfriend bought my sisters and i trinkets from a convention just to make us smile during these hard times, and she kept reminding me to sleep and eat and drink and take my meds. my online friends who knew were messaging me asking if i was okay, if i wanted to see some bird posts for serotonin or if i needed somebody to vent to or even to help with money too. hell, even my coworkers asked me if i was okay. they asked about my mom, and i told them, but then my supervisor asked "but how are YOU?" and i burst into tears

all this reminds me of that weird "discourse" i see around about how youre not supposed to ask friends for help because we're all adults and. i am 24. and in these weeks, i felt more like a helpless child than ive ever felt in my life

and yet

people came and helped

when youre needed, youre needed

and we didnt even ask. they just....showed up.

everybody we knew—friends, acquaintances, colleagues, family—they all showed up when we needed them

idk. i guess in this world it's really easy to feel really alone. i sure did. but youre really really not. i had no idea how many people were looking out for us, but they're here. they were here for us. ive lost count of how many people came to help, and isnt that a beautiful thing. i lost count of how many people helped

[meetthegofer]

🦀🦅💕😑💀 (esp interested in the last one considering game mechanics)

THANK YOU TORRANCE MY GOAT.. once again since this will be a little long its going under a readmore 🔥 thank you though this is a very fun selection

🦀- How did they handle realizing they were in love? Embarrassed? Nervous? Mad?

fossey was absolutely the more accepting of his feelings of the two in this regard; though they were definitely pretty nervous they tended to downplay it a lot, like "welllll... people get crushes on coworkers with all the time!! plus its not like anything's gonna come of it, so its fine for me to like him.. im sure ill get over it soon" <- that. generally just didnt register that they might have a chance At All and as a result didnt really catch themself reading too much into his words/actions because "well its not like he'd like me anyways! that would be wasting my time. i have a job to do, after all".

sniper on the other hand...

for him, the realization was like being hit in the face with a brick. not because he thought fossey was particularly undesirable in any way that would make him go "i cant believe i like THEM", but rather because he was still operating under the expectation of not really getting to know them or really form any relationship/attachment past just. general coworker amiability. it honestly made him panic a bit, because he wasnt sure if this would affect his performance in battle ["if i get hung up on something like that, itll be easier for me to get distracted and hurt more easily. or worse, ill underperform" <- that sorta thing] and again, he tries to consider himself as being somewhat divorced from feelings, at least on a professional level. of course, we know this to not be true [calls his parents regularly, shows genuine care to his teammates, etc etc] but well. hes stupid. <3.

🦅- How good are their friends at being wingmen? Do they even help at all or just sit back watching the pining with a bag of popcorn?

...you could not possibly have a worse ensemble of wingmen than the options laid out for these two. at the absolute least, fossey has the support of miss pauling, who reassures them about things when they feel down. however shes not really an active wingman? like she encourages fossey but doesnt ever actively try to vouch for fossey as a potential partner for sniper, mostly because fossey has asked her Not to [going back to the whole lack of perceived desirability they feel and all]. other than that, they havent really confided in their feelings to anyone else, mostly because they know theres literally no circumstance under which it would end without great humiliation.

sniper, on the other hand, tries to be discreet when asking for advice, but everyone kind of Knows who hes got his eyes set on. so when he tries to ask for help and is immediately met with a chorus of "ooooh so youre finally gonna ask out fossey?" hes like FUCK YOU and also how did you know [fake idgafer they saw you saying good morning!! when you dont do that for anyone else!!!!]. so i think he would get frustrated and then not ask for help again

that said i can definitely see a few of the mercs trying to take things into their own hands. scout makes stupid jokes to fossey about sniper ["yknow hes got a picture of ya in his camper, right?" "HE WANTS TO SHOOT ME?" "NO"], soldier probably tries giving him unsolicited advice that literally only worked because zhanna matches his freak so well, and medic breaks HIPAA in a strange way to try and bring them closer together. none of it ever works but theyre all quite content to watch the two of them very awkwardly dance around their feelings for one another and tease them about it [though mostly sniper. since fossey does a shockingly good job at hiding her side of things + they havent known her nearly as long]

💕- Who confessed first and how? Did it go as planned or did shenanigans ensue?

oh this ones fun. they both kinda confessed at different times, but the first one just... didnt work? going back to this question set, after fossey apologizes/confronts sniper about his avoidance, he Does confess his feelings, but does so in a more vague way that fossey absolutely Did Not Clock as romantic. unfortunately this ended with the most brutally unintentional friendzone known to man

its not as though All hope is lost, though. like i said, there were multiple "confessions", albeit fossey's was admittedly much more thought out in terms of like. the specifics.

see, they have a really bad habit of overworking [mostly because they lose track of time very easily, and their work is so repetitive its easy to get lost in the sauce. they arent a very intentional overachiever], and a lot of sleep problems. as such, it was bound to happen that they would one day fall asleep at their desk, having worked themself to exhaustion and not really noticing it until they'd woken up...

sniper notices fossey sleeping at their desk, hours after they were supposed to leave for the day [being a bit of an insomniac himself, he would sometimes just. walk around. everyone on the team is kind of a freak it makes sense to me. you know]. so he goes and wakes them up like "hey dude you were supposed to leave hours ago" and theyre like FUCK right ill be out of here in a second. however, before they can leave, sniper remembers that fossey usually Walks home. so he offers them a ride, because the idea of them walking home alone at like 2am greatly unsettles him. they agree, and since its only a 15/20 minute walk it ends up being a very short drive, spent in an admittedly comfortable silence between the two. maybe a longing glance or two is passed without the other noticing.

and just before fossey steps out of the van to go fuck off to their apartment building, without even thinking they lean over and give him a kiss on the cheek, then step out and wave goodbye like nothing happened. [its not until theyre actively closing the door to the apartment building behind them that they realize what theyve done. and by then theyre like FUCK]

sniper is obviously speechless, because just a couple months ago he got friendzoned and he was still wrestling with the fact that his feelings were only getting stronger with time. he just kind of sits there for a second before he realizes he probably looks crazy just sitting there in a van outside an apartment complex that is primarily home to like. old ladies. and on the drive back to his usual parking space for the camper hes just like Fuuuck work is gonna be so awkward tomorrow.

and the next day they do talk it out.. fossey stops by his camper and is like Heyyy so can we um 😅 talk about last night haha... and they give a verbal confession but end it with like "im not really expecting you to feel the same way but since you basically already know i figured id tell you..." and snipers just there like It is unbelievable how much i feel the same way. i imagine the conversation itself would be quite awkard/seemingly "anticlimactic" for the start of a relationship, sort of like [incoming maine moment] shimamitsu's first little stint as a couple in skip to loafer where they just very awkwardly are like "do you... wanna try going out?" after a rather embarrassingly sudden confession. but both of them are autistic and awkward so <3 love is love <3

😑- How easily do they get jealous and how do they handle it?

fossey is admittedly not very jealous at all LOL though this mostly comes from the fact that they dont place very high value in themself. so theyre like "? if he ever found someone else he'd just go for it man i dont think it'd be worthwhile to keep me around just to cheat". they also just arent really the possessive type, since they do actually trust him quite a bit in this regard and are very much of the "if you love something let it go" mindset. however in the context where i ship sniper with the other mercs theyre very chill with it. because fossey has the fujoshi spirit 👍

if they ever Would get jealous i think they would handle it well enough on their own, though. they tried exactly one [1] time to make a joke about sniper leaving for someone else and he was MORTIFIED so they were like Damn i probably shouldnt do that again that was a little mean.

sniper i think would probably be a little bit more jealous? it doesnt come up very much, but every once in a while someone gets just a liiittle too close or looks a liiittle too long and hes like ? You could back up a little bit!

he mostly keeps it to himself since fossey isn't and has never been the type to pursue or flirt with others even in a playful context, so when he Does get jealous its usually directed at the other party. i think early on he mightve gone to fossey about it first and when they got confused [because they didnt think the other person saw them that way + were absolutely NOT trying to go for them] he realized it didnt make much sense and didnt really bring it up like that again. not much reason to blame fossey for how others feel when they arent the one Inviting those feelings, yknow? at most he might be like "damn that guy would Not leave you alone" but even then it happens quite rarely, so its not something they really have to address more than like. once or twice a year. that said i Do think he might get a little more clingy without really noticing it... hugging a little more tightly or casually throwing an arm around their shoulders a little longer than usual.

💀- If the canon character is canonically dead, how did your OC handle their death? (Or did you completely omit their death cause fuck canon?)

this one is interesting, not just because of the game mechanics but also because of his canon [albeit temporary] comic death. when considering respawn compatibility + mechanics and the nature of the game, i think fossey is desensitized enough to how much violence occurs around these guys on a daily basis that the concept of sniper being hurt in this way doesnt really faze him any more than it does miss pauling or any other merc. like he knows he'll be back. its fine. though i do think in the back of his mind he sometimes worries that one day sniper might come back and not remember/not love/not care for him anymore, although this has yet to happen, and if scout's persistence with trying to court miss pauling is any proof, it likely never will.

his comic death, however, is a different story, primarily because it left him with some pretty permanent scars. fossey freaked out so fucking bad when they found out what happened [since they werent present for it] and they just like. almost couldnt really believe it? the desensitization to his death in the context of the gravel war + respawn machine and how it functions made them less cognizant of the idea that Hey he could still die for real one day. and that realization shook them pretty badly... if they were actually present for it i think they would genuinely be inconsolable for a while. but LUCKILY hes back 👍 insert i cant help myself "all clean!" image here

[wiihtigo]

CASEY NATION RISE 7, 9, 17, 20, 23, 25

ask game

7. What’s one way your OC has changed since you first came up with them?

i used to think that she didnt care much about the art of actually acting and cinema and stuff and for her it was more about just being famous and it didnt matter how. i think that was partially because although i knew i wanted her to lust for fame and money the acting dream was kind of just randomly decided on. i thought i could easily swap it out with modelling or singing or something and it wouldnt make much difference. but the more time ive spent with casey, the more i see her as a true lover of movies and art....which i think leads in well to her endgame job being a script editor rather than an actor. her true talents lie behind the screen even if she herself doesnt see it...

9. Do you have a specific lyric or quote which you associate with your OC?

whats a girl to do - cristina

a post canon (after nell dies) caseys life anthem:)

17. What is the worst thing you have put your OC through story-wise?

well i was going to blame it entirely on you that nell dies and i had no say in that but i suppose i did come up with her emotional reaction to that myself, which causes me a lot of slow damage pain. SO I GUESS THAT..the fact she pushes michelle away after it happens is really depressing to me because thats literally her only friend left and only possible pillar of support, but she pushes her away because she hates everything and shes mad shes not nell and shes mad at her family and wants to explode. I think she'd be marginally less suicidal if she stayed friends with her.....

I guess also pulling from alternate realities the one where she dies is pretty fucked up. and very painful. and nell doesnt even make it to her to cradle her in her arms. SAD

20. Does your OC have a tendency to get jealous? If so, how does this manifest?

yyessss. at least when he and nell start getting lowkey. no. highkey #serious. early in their setup he wouldnt gaf if nell was married to a businesswoman in russia.but when they start ummmm [redacted] then hes like waittt. lol waittttttt lol wait. lol. WAITTT. gets a little annoyed when theyre at the doom patrol warehouse party and jayna from the wonder twins tries to get ladybugs number. THATS MY BODYGUARD..GET YOUR OWN. it manifests in that he'll get clingy to nell and mean and passive aggressive (or just aggressive) towards the person pissing him off. will be petty and spiteful (sees some poor scared nervous young lesbian trying to say hi to nell so he slides in and nuzzles up to her shoulder in public to let that sstupid kid know to go away)

idk why he does this. if you asked him if he liked nell he would say And what has she done to MAKE me like her

23. What emotion is the hardest for your OC to process? How about express?

lol GRIEF. little casey has never experienced a death before nell! not even a pet death. she has no idea how to process those feelings or cope with them in the slightest. she goes like catatonic immediately after the fact bcuz shes so completely shocked and wasnt prepared for it at all (lowkey thought ladybug was too awesomeand strong to ever get got. stupidd)

on the complete flip side, also .....l-l-l-l-l-l-l--l-l-l-l-l-l...LOVE. or at least feeling a smidge of serious romantic attraction to someone. in canon end she never gets to deal with that bcuz she only realizes it after nell died and then promptly buried everything related to nell deep inside a hole. but in nyc nell simply has an epic near death experience where hes hospitalized and thats when casey is like fuuuuuuuuuck that scared me. DO I LIKE HER? she acts a bit pathetic and tsundere abt it which is endearing to me personally. maybe scares nell a bit. its cute to me though <3

25. What is your favorite thing about your OC?

shes not a good person </3 shes selfish and mean and doesnt care about other people </3 bent on revenge and hating </3 genuinely not a good guy </3 i love everything negative about casey the most

i also think secretary characters are sexy.

[riddlemethisjeremy]

"But its fine to be LGBTQ+ in Australia in 2024 Australia is such an accepting country"

Get away from me.

Here is an itemised list of shit that i see around me/has happened to me. Just in my little sphere of observation I'm not talking about online or anything just circling around fucking me. Organised from shit that bothers me the least to shit that fucks me off to an unbelievable extent:

All the shallow "LGBTQ+ safe space !!!!!!!" Stickers i see at places like target (I am not talking about actual queer spaces like Dangerfield oh my god i will never ever get over the time that the person at Dangerfield asked if i would like to see their "masculine selection" like holy shit ???? Yes i would love to see the "masculine selection" thank you for not making me a man in this store- anyways) it just makes me a little mad that they just have to put a little sticker in the window and suddenly they're a "safe space" like come off it mate no one's buying your shit

Those people who say they're like supportive and then go and bag out a highly minoritsed section of the community (example taken from my current home) "I support trans people i believe trans people should be able to live and be whoever they truly are" "if my child ever told me that they wanted to use "they/them" pronouns i would assign them a gender myself" "I think all these little "microlabels" like pansexual and aromantic are fake theyre just kids looking for attention" "well apparently you can identify as a tree these days lol I'll just tell them i identify as a dog and cock my leg on them"

Other generally passive homophobic comments such as "oh you're pansexual? Does that mean you're attracted to pans?"

Walking into class and getting slurred or called an "it" or being spoken about like I'm a creature rather than a person: "Sir, can you take that thing outside" "Its not a part of this classroom" "Someone should really put a muzzle on that thing" "oh, sorry, "IT". Got my grammar mixed up."

Possibly the more upsetting part of that is the teacher, who is aware of me being trans and has been since he took our class, has not done a thing about this despite stating that he was going to do what he could to support me.

The casual biphobia/complete erasjre of my bi identity that happens like literally daily? Like hello i like both ?

The younger queer kids being targets of creeps and harassment because theyre just "attention seeking queers" and no one would believe them if they said anything

Being clocked by customers at work and having to deal with harassment surrounding my entire identity despite the fact that I'm not even out and having to pretend to have a laugh about it with my coworkers while im literally shaking and like on the verge of an anxiety attack

People fetishizing drag queens/critisizing them for not doing drag in a "traditionally correct" way. Like ?? She's not bopping he bussy for anyone but herself fuck off

My own friends not believing me/taking me seriously when i try to talk about the harassment/abuse that I face at school/at work because "its 2024 and these places are safe places and they literally said they weren't trying to be offensive"

Being outed in the workplace because i was trying to help my gf get a job (which i didnt realise was a whole thing at the time) and then being punished for not telling people about our relationship to begin with (neither of us are very out and I didn't want to put either of us in an uncomfortable position so I didn't mention it because its not their business?) my gf is no longer getting a job and i am significantly less likely to get the promotion they were talking about giving me

The sheer amount of homophobic/transphobic parents that i know of in the area (mine and my gfs included) and the fact that "allies" don't seem to understand why we won't tell these people about ourselves (especially those of us with notably abusive parents (myself and my gf included))

"Well she can't like you very much if she's not willing to tell her parents" "i just don't think she really cares about you if she's keeping you a secret" shes literally let me give her kisses at the bus stop guys she just wont tell her mom fuck off

The fact that if her parents find out they could report me to the police for grooming because even if the age gap is literally eleven months she's still a minor and the courts are more likely to convict me because im queer. This would literally end my life.

the fact that im being encouraged to leave the fucking love of my life because its "too dangerous" and if my life is ruined by her parents its her fault some how so i need to protect myself ???? What the fuck ????

And finally "You cant save everyone you know" like ???? I know that doesnt mean that the people I CARE ABOUT should have to suffer to keep ME safe. Thats fucked up.

[youremyheaven]

"(Mercurials are unfairly critical of others, have you noticed?) and she frequently took digs at me and was one of those people who make jokes at the expense of others."

on at least 5 separate occasions throughout the years i, with the help of another friend, have had to sit down and explain to my mercurial friend that she has to think before she speaks and how you can't just constantly insult people 💀 she's genuinely one of the most critical people i know, some examples include her walking around every inch of my island in animal crossing and tearing apart everything she saw for like an HOUR. yes it was in a video game, and yes im still salty!! she also would ask to read my creative writing or essays and then annotate it with her criticisms WITHOUT ME ASKING HER TO 😭😭 i remember the first time she graded my short story i wrote for fun an F and i was just staring in utter disbelief

she also would constantly make fun of peoples looks in a joking way (myself included) and when i told her to stop she'd play innocent like it was just a harmless joke, begrudgingly apologize, and do it again like a week later. i've observed this sort of underhanded behaviour in two mercury women so i think they might have a habit of it? i get complimented a lot and yes i'm tooting my own horn here but i am very good looking however she had an OBSESSION with getting unflattering photos of me and then sending them to our friends "as a joke" and then would play the victim when i got mad. like sorry i don't want our whole social circle thinking i look like albino shrek omg

OMG BESTIEEE I FEEL SO SEEN IM GOING TO CRY,, WE SHOULD START A SUPPORT GROUP FR

the biggest reason why i cant stand Mercurial women is how theyre sooo deeply insecure that they'll tear apart others just to feel better about themselves

yearsss ago I got a really cute bag for really cheap and i was talking about it with my Mercurial friend and she said "it looks ugly thats why it was cheap" and she was carrying around a tattered, worn out, faded ass bag lmaooo

another mercurial girl who was average looking criticized practically everybody we knew for being ugly. she wore the shittiest clothes and criticized other people's sense of style

an Ashlesha Moon girl i knew never said one nice thing about me but often praised our other friends for no reason and made them sound like the second coming of Cleopatra,, i called her out on it and she told me "i thought you heard enough from others, i didnt know you were desperate for validation from me as well" 💀💀

THE BACKHANDED COMMENTS u mentioned??? bestieee we're all victims here 😭😭

so between 8th and 10th grade, i was in an extremely abusive homoerotic friendship with an Ashlesha Moon,,, she was always putting me down for no reason. i kinda sing,, i am not a brilliant singer but i have won prizes in school for singing so i know i dont suck as a singer. one time she asked me to sing for her on call and then she was silent and said "its not exactly brilliant but its not horrible i guess" 10 yrs later, i wish i couldve reached out through the phone to smack her face,,, i was in my poet era back then and tbh my poetry was pretty good if i say so myself and this girl??? always accused me of plagiarism,, i took it in my stride bc i was like "ok if u think im THAT good then what do i do" lol.

i could go on but ill stop here ,,, i hope i never meet another mercurial again amen

[bucketspammer4life]

☆ punch out sexuality headcanons ☆

im running out of funny things to say help me, also tw for mentions of homophobia & transphobia

Glass Joe

- aromantic asexual (sex neutral, romance positive) + trans, he/him

- Just because hes ace doesnt mean he doesnt make inappropriate jokes on a daily basis, if there was a ranking of who made the most sexual jokes he'd be at the top

- when he came out as trans to his parents they were suprisingly supportive even though they didnt understand much, it just went like: "mom, dad, im a boy and if you dont like that too bad" "we dont care as long as you dont murder anyone" And they were generally chill with him

- when he first binded he used bandages & cloth instead of a actual binder (before he came out) and due to that he almost wasnt able to get top surgery

- has faked a lot of crushes to fit in during his childhood, ended up dating 3-5 people he didnt even like

- thought his gender envy was attraction until he just asked himself "do i wanna be them or be with them" And boom, gender confusion

- fell down the "im not like other girls!" to "im not a girl." pipeline

Von Kaiser

- demiromantic, demisexual + bi with a preference for men, he/they

- when he didnt know the demi labels he just saw himself as a picky dater, when he saw the demi labels he was like "Wait thats me" And pretty much ascended on the spot

- thought everyone just liked both men & women until he said it out loud and got met with pure shock

- his first crush was a famous model he saw in a fashion magazine, also slipping down the "do i wanna be them or be with them" pipeline

- his dad wasnt really supportive but became a bit more open minded once he realized that his hatred distanced himself from his son even more

Disco Kid

- nonbinary,gay, he/she

- okay with both feminine & masculine terms

- somebody tried to call him "princess" to insult him when he was little, instead he took it as a compliment and saw them as a friend, still in contact with said person & theyre besties now, the princess thing has become a nickname for him

- when he first came out his parents were like "the closet was wide open" and were not suprised at all, they saw it coming 1000 miles away as soon as he started it out with the "i have to say something important"

- started doing make up & playing around with dresses thanks to a close friend of his (the childhood friend) , when he first put on a dress he was like "i think i realized something"

King Hippo

- #1 label hater + all pronouns

- if he were to use labels, he would count as gender apathetic and pan oriented aroace

- labels are for losers to him

- not out but his parents know that he doesnt give a shit about labels, they first found out when he didnt care about being called "queen" and liked it, they have no problem with it

Piston Hondo

- pan, cis (?) + he/him but likes to refer to himself with feminine pronouns in japanese

- not out to his parents but dropping hints, theyre struggling to pick up on it and hes going mad over it

- going through some major gender questioning™

- playing around with dresses & femininity and enjoying it

Great Tiger

- polysexual (prefs are enbies, men & genderqueer ppl), genderqueer + all pronouns

- closeted it but trying to make it clear hes not straight,its just flying over his parents head like "oh me oh my our son is sure close with his friends!! Such close bros"

- likes dresses not only for spinning skirts but also how comfy they are

Bear Hugger

- gay, bear (ITS IN THE NAME. COME ON THE CLOSET IS GLASS), trans + he/him but ok with they/them

- when he first came out there was a lot of crying, not in the "i wont accept this wahh" way but more in the "i cant believe you trusted me enough to tell me this" way

- didnt know he was trans until he said "yeah i like being called son, yeah i like being called manly, im a girl though" out loud and he was like "wait a minute"

- has had 2-3 boyfriends during his teen years and is still in touch with them since the break ups were done without any harsh feelings & grudges, hes the only person that can see his exes all chatting together and not die of a heart attack on the spot

Don Flamenco

- gay, trans + he/they

- got called gay way before he knew it since he kept calling his male friends handsome often, always passed it off like "cant a man call his friend handsome?"

- the only feminine terms he will accept is queen and aunt, refer to him as anything other than that and he will punch you to orbit

- cut off contact with his parents since they didnt accept him & kicked him out, the only person who took him in was his aunt, she helped him get t & bind safely before he got top surgery

Aran Ryan

- genderfluid, pomosexual + all pronouns

- label hater but still uses them because why not

- came out in the most casual way possible, was just chilling on the couch with his dad and he just said "i kinda like being called miss sometimes" from boredom just to see dad go "huh??"

- sometimes does drag when he feels fem

Soda Popinski

- gay, cis + he/him

- Rocky dating history, most break-ups of his were really sad since it was either forced by family members or over arguments

- exes with bald bull but they still get along & dont care about their past, they just had better platonic connection and decided together

- out but not, making it clear hes a bit fruity but not too much for it to snowball into "the rumour come out: does soda popinski is gay?"

Bald Bull

- Boyflux, gay + he/they

- flamboyantly gay and cannot hide it no matter how much he tries, the closet is not even present, show him someone he has a crush on and you'll hear the gayest squeal in your life before he evaporates into thin air and holds you at gunpoint

- has the Don Flamenco issue going for him, compliments his male friends and calls them handsome wayyy too often, this time its 99% more obvious

- either really bitter with his exes or close friends, no inbetween, if you tell him "yeah your exes asked about you, theyre there" theres a 50% chance its gonna have his soul physically exit him and another 50% chance hes gonna walk right over to them and say hi

- not out publicly since it would cause a shitstorm, only out to a few people he trusts, has issues trusting people to not say his secrets since a close friend of his outed him during his teen years

Super Macho Man

- bi (slight pref for women), cis + he/she

- didnt really come out, he just showed up to his parents door with his (now ex) bf and was like "heyy say hi to my boyfriend" and everyone just kinda accepted it

- thought the attraction to men was envy for a long time until he learned the fact that wanting to be lifted into the arms of a man and making out with said man is not really straight

Mr Sandman

- gendervoid, demiromantic, acespec, pan + all pronouns

- feels like he should be more masculine but cant bring himself to it,he cant force his behavior to act in a way that doesnt fit him

- out and about, hes not repressing himself for anyone

[cupoftaae]

Forever And A Day (KTH x READER) series ♡ sunrise in versailles (part 1) (chapter 13)

Summary: your lifelong friend is forced to face his true feelings for you once he breaks the number one rule of becoming friends with benefits: dont fall in love. He knows he loves you, but you on the other hand need more convincing of the most important thing: the right decision.

Genre: fwb. Roommates, friends to idiots to lovers, fluff, angst, smut, the whole 9 yards tbh.

Pairing: taehyung x female!reader

rating: 18+ (minors dni!!!)

word count- 6k ish

warnings- swearing, angst, some kissing, theres an argument whoops. mentions of pregnancy. fluff.

a/n- Hey m'loves, sorry for the late chapter, I hope you enjoy!!! (excuse any typos, have not spell checked!!!)

"what...?"

You tried your best to offer a small smile at the camera, taehyungs parents looked back at you through the screen with confused and angered faces.

"we are gonna have a baby" taehyung declared again, his hand coming down and out of frame to grasp yours, giving a reassuring squeeze.

Taehyungs mother looked more than upset, devastated was more the correct and fit term, while his father just seemed disappointed.

"You told us you werent together" she spoke up, her hand over her mouth as she exchanged glances with her husband.

"funny how things happen, huh?" tae chuckled nervously, this time you squeezed his hand.

"are you sure you are the father?" his dad added, making your chest pang with pain at the accusation that you were the type to sleep around so carelessly.

"You dont need to cover for her" his mom spoke

"I know he is the father, im not stupid, thank you. How dare you ask that?" you spit, feeling guilty at your outburst, but mad at his parents for even going there. "look..it wasnt our plan. Some things....occurred...and we cant change them, all we wanted to do was tell you guys and its up to you to support us or not, either way...its happening, and im sorry if you dont like it" you mumble, taehyung softly nodding and smiling, proud of you sticking up for yourself.

Taehyungs mother simply scoffed, her hand wiping her tear that had fallen.

wow. she really wasnt happy about this, about you.

"we taught you better than this, and y/n I know your mom taught you better too....you know how things are supposed to be done. You get your career started, you marry, then children." his father cleared his throat

"we dont need to do things in order, you know" taehyung spoke against his dads words, "we have a plan...I think we will be alright"

You smile at your boyfriend, hand rubbing his back. "Yeah...." you whisper, "and besides...my parents had me before marriage, they were younger than taehyung and I when they got pregnant" you try to point out.

His mom glares down at you through the laptop screen, "yeah and how did that work out for them? wheres your dad now? hm? exactly."

Your face falls at her words, you didnt even have anything to argue back, a sick feeling falling over you.

"mom..." taehyung warns, his eyes darting to make sure you were ok.

"why would you bring up such a thing?" you whisper

She shrugged, "because its life, and things dont always go as planned. I wanted my son to be an established business man by now but no, you've tied him down to the ground again."

You watched, feeling numb, as she spoke more

"we had a feeling you two would end up together, but not like this...no no...not like this"

With that, you looked at taehyung before looking back at the screen.

"I think we are done here" you were quick to hit the disconnect call button on your laptop, standing up immediately as you ran upstairs.

"y/n!" taehyung closed the computer, standing up to follow you.

Once you were inside your bedroom, you wrapped your arms around your stomach, pacing the carpet. Taehyung abruptly walked in "baby..."

"why would she say that to me? why would she go there?" you cry softly, questioning how his own mother could be so cruel.

"I am so sorry my love" he is quick to wrap you in his arms.

Your hands held him tightly as you tried to calm your breathing.

"im terrified to tell my mom now" you whisper

"something tells me she will be a little kinder..." taehyung chuckled softly.

You moved to sit on the bed, suddenly feeling uncomfortable given you were still in your work outfit from this morning. You were a bit stressed at all the sudden life changes, and the least you wanted was some compassion. You will never understand how such cruel people could birth and raise someone as loving as taehyung.

"Im sorry" you lay back, eyes on the ceiling.

"for..?" he climbed next to you, laying on his side as his hand crawled up to your stomach.

"all of this mess...your parents..."

"baby thats not your fault...screw their opinion...I have my girl, and if its just you and me in the end, im alright with that. you know why?" he mumbled softly

"why?"

"because we've already made it this far, look at how good we are doing, hm? I love you, and im proud of you....please dont listen to my mother or father, their words mean nothing. Focus on us, on you and me okay?"

You gently nod, holding his hand as he kissed your cheek. You both laid in the comforting silence of the room for a bit, before taehyungs voice brought you out of your trance. "lets take a bath"

-

The next morning you were up and at work early, checking attendance for the young children at the daycare center.

You and taehyung both agreed to hold off on disclosing the information with your mom for a few days until it felt right to do so, however part of you wanted it over with. You were about 3 months along, and it felt like things were passing quickly.

"Daniel?" you called out gently, looking around the room to find the small hand raising up to your attention.

You checked off his name before finishing the list, handing it to the main teacher.

The children were adorable, there wasn't many, only 8....5 girls and 3 boys. Though its only been a few days of work, most have warmed up to you just fine. One even trusted you to watch over their stuffed animal during recess time (thats a big responsibility)

The group was mainly produced to watch over little kids who's parents worked all day, which, you hate to admit, but made you feel a bit sad.

Children need full time attention and care, and you questioned if you would ever hand your child away to some strangers for hours, days, weeks at a time. It was crazy now that you had this wild perspective.

During your lunch break, you sat down in one of the empty classes to facetime taehyung, who answered after a few rings.

"hello?" his groggy voice came through, the screen showing the ceiling.

"aw sleepyhead, did I wake you from your nap?" you giggled, speaking sarcastically as you watched for his face.

"mm" he finally looked over his phone, a soft smile apparent, "hi baby...hows work?"

"its good actually....im not as nauseous as I was when I woke up, thank God"

"thats good."

you nod, smiling as you bit into your protein bar as you slowly sunk into your desk chair more. "how are you?"

"im good" he smiled, "I fixed the drain"

"woo!" you giggled

"I know..." taehyung yawned, rolling over and out of bed. "It doesnt make that weird noise anymore, see?" he pointed the camera down to the sink, the water flushing through normally

"good job, thank you" you smiled at your phone

"Oh and also...um, my mom called me again after you left."

"oh....?"

"yeah, I think me explaining things sort of helped her, she still isnt happy but she takes back her comment."

You sigh, "well im still upset about it"

"and you have every right to be, im just saying....she knows she was wrong"

You nod, crumpling the wrapper in your hand.

"and of course, I told her that we haven't told your mom yet, so no contact. She promised she wouldn't say anything" he mumbled

"well...thats good" you smile blankly, "maybe we should tell her tonight? I dont know..." you sigh "im so nervous"

Taehyung looks back to the phone, offering you a sympathetic smile. "angel...I know its scary but we cant not tell her...we need any support we can get"

"i know" you nod, defeated as you look at the clock. "okay honey...I gotta go, ill be home at 3, okay?"

"okay baby, love you" he smiles gently, waving goodbye before disconnecting the call.

You sigh, putting your phone into your jean pocket as you make your way back into the classroom.

"Ah, Kenji is feeling a little bit under the weather right now, I am going to direct you to sit with him for a bit while I begin the next activity?" the main teacher came up behind you, pointing you in the direction of a young boy sitting at an empty table in the back, his hidden face in his arms.

"is he feeling ill?" you question, sympathetically eying the small boy

"no..." she shook her head, whispering, "he told me his parents had been fighting all morning"

your heart pangs deeply in your chest, the surge of the feelings you felt at your own parents fighting resurfacing, you knew what it felt like to have drama at home and then be forced to go to school or work and act like nothing happened, despite being upset.

You nodded sadly and quietly made your way to the back of the room, pulling the stool out from beside him and sitting. "Kenji, you alright bud? whats going on?" you gently rub his back, trying to get him to lift his head up.

"mm..im okay" the tiny voice squeaked

"you know...its okay if you arent" you whispered, leaning your head into your palm. "do you wanna talk about whats going on? you dont have to, but sometimes it feels better to let it out, especially if you dont always get the chance to." you try to course him along, not wanting to pry but rather wanting to provide relief.

With this, Kenji slowly lifted his head, cheeks red in embarrassment as slight tears watered his eyes. "I dont wanna talk" he said apologetically

You frowned for a moment before composing your teacher-like empathy, "thats okay, but is it alright if I sit here with you?"

He nodded, putting his head back down as he leaned closer to you, the only thing you could possibly do was rub his back for a bit longer before grabbing the nearby crayons and paper.

"you wanna draw?"

He nodded, silently as his chubby hand grabbed a crayon. "'dont know what to draw"

You giggled, "well....do you have any pets?"

He nodded enthusiastically, almost as if the mention of his pet was able to pull him out of his behavior.

"really?" you smiled widely "what kind of pet do you have?"

He grinned, his smile missing many teeth, "I have a cat! her name is chibi!"

You laughed, "chibi, small in japanese, is chibi really tiny?"

"yes, she this big" he reaches his hands out to show you the exact measurements.

"wow! that is tiny, you should draw her for me, i'll hang it up on my fridge at my house" you giggle

"really??" he widened his eyes, grabbing the paper as he furiously began to draw, you were happy to take his mind off whatever home troubles were burdening him.

He, at least for that moment, completely forgot about his sulking, and the way he drew quickly told you that.

"I have a pet fish, yknow" you smile, watching him draw.

"ooo!!"

"mhm, his name is Hae" you nod, "hes a tiny yellow fish"

"hae is a funny name" he blurts, smiling as you show him a photo of your pet.

"its Korean for sun, like in the sky" you add, knowing that Kenji isnt super familiar with the Korean language. "My boyfriend bought him one day and now he has this huge tank, we even put a little spongebob figure in there. Do you like spongebob?"

He giggled, "yeah, maybe hae and Chibi can be friends"

you grin, "Oh that would be lovely huh?"

He held up his picture before immediately putting it down "wait!" he grabbed the yellow crayon and began to add a small touch to the corner of the page, turning it around and waiting for your approval.

"did you draw hae and chibi?" you spoke, your hands holding his smaller one.

"mhm!!"

"oh my! this is beautiful Kenji, thank you bubs! i'll make sure to show this to Hae so he knows his new best friend"

Kenji beamed in confidence, writing his name on the page before gifting it to you.

"thank you!" you spoke, kenji gently hugging you before the main teacher made her way over.

"hows everyone?" she cheered, glancing at you

"we're good, right kenji?"

He happily nodded

"your daddy is here to pick you up, but make sure you hold Miss.Y/n's hand out to the front okay?"

You gently take kenji and make your way down the stairs to the parent pick up spot, you kneel down. "do you see your daddy?"

The smaller boy eagerly looks around, scanning the tall adults for the familiar face, "oh hes here!!" he jumps up and down, dragging you over to the man standing against the wall on his phone.

"daddy!!!" Kenji runs and clings to his fathers leg, his dad laughing and picking him up. "this is Miss.Y/N!!"

the fathers eyes drag up to you, offering a greeting smile. "hello" he bowed his head politely, "Min Yoongi" His hand reached out for yours

You shook it, smiling back "nice to meet you, Kenji had a fun day, make sure he tells you all about it"

He chuckled softly, his arms squeezing the small boy in his hold. "oh yeah?"

Kenji nodded, "I told her about Chibi"

"oh yeah, chibi, our fat cat" Yoongi teased

"shes tiny!!"

"not anymore"

You couldnt help but giggle at the adorable interaction, "well make sure you say hi to her for me, yeah?"

Kenji nodded, standing to his feet as he took his dads hands. "well i'll be seeing you around then" yoongi grinned, watching you say your goodbyes to Kenji

"yep, i'll be here tomorrow" you giggled, waving the two off before helping attend to a few other students.

Min Yoongi couldnt help but notice how gentle you were with his son, it made his heart happy that he could be at a safe place during the day instead of having to witness the downfall of him and his mothers marriage.

He also took in your appearance, noting how beautiful you were, but the thoughts quickly disappeared as his son begging to leave for ice cream.

-

You texted Taehyung as you left work, your feet dragging you down the street as you avoided bumping into others

Me: taetae im free...want me to pick you up coffee? (3:06pm)

Tae<3: yes, thanjs my love (3:07pm)

You giggled at his typo as you looked up, turning your direction in the way of the store before you felt a hand on your back, gently asking for your attention

"um..hello?" you took your headphones off as you turned, your eyes widening as you took in the appearance of the man you haven't seen in quite some time.

"Y/n..." he looked upset, rough, and like he had not been taking care of himself, not that he ever really did anyways.

"kaito?" you scoffed, looking around as if this was some joke

"please, im sorry, I dont mean to interrupt you and I know i'm the last person you want to see right now but I just ...I need to talk with you" he exhaled, hands defenseless as they fell openly to his sides, his venerability at show.

Your eyes glared over him before you took a breath, deciding that the risk factor here was low.

"what?"

He swallowed, looking down at you sadly. "are you pregnant?"

Your breath caught in your throat.

Yup. he knows.

Trying to figure out what to respond was hard, the pause and lack of defense was probably enough to answer his question. "I...."

"I saw...taehyung..." he said his name as if it was venom, hard to pronounce, "a-and I know you guys are kinda...whatever. I just want to know....are you? is it...is it mine?"

Throughout everything that has been clouding your mind, you haven't had a moment to sit down and realize the possibility that the child could realistically be either Taehyung or Kaito's.

You rarely were intimate with your ex, but the slight chance was still there, and the fact you never realized it until now only adds another problem onto your already spilling over plate.

He took in your panicked state, speaking up "if it is, im....not mad, I just want to know. I know you hate me and you deserve to, but-"

"yeah"

"yeah what?"

"I am...pregnant" you whisper, "please dont tell anyone?"

his eyes fell low, his expression turning soft. You aren't used to seeing Kaito like this, his kind side..

"Its Taehyung's" you gulp out, because hell, even if it is Kaitos, in no way would you want him back in your life. Not after what he said, what he did. He could swear up and down that he's changed but it wont matter to your opinion or baby, at the end of the day, taehyung would be the father....biological or not.

With a sigh, he covered his face "im not gonna tell anyone....I just...I miss you, and I wish that I was the one with you during this and-"

"you dont deserve to be the one, Kaito." you spit, growing uncomfortable. "annie, chae and dahyun all abandon me over your words, over your actions...I was the one who was painted out to be the bad guy...and not once did you come to my defense!"

He nodded sadly "I know...I know"

"you fucking blame taehyung but hes been the only one there for me through it all, hes the only one I have!" you choke out, turning around in frustration "fuck...the nerve you have to do this to me right now"

"are you sure its Taehyung's?" he whispered, not in a rude way, more so in a last attempt to get you to talk with him

"stop with that!"

"If its mine I want to be there, I want to help out, even if you hate me, y/n" his face read regret and desperation

"as if I would ever let you close to me or my family again...the audacity you have is beyond anything ive ever seen....its never gonna happen, you treated me like shit over and over again, nothing will change, Kaito, and ive moved on. You need to as well...." you spoke before brushing past him

Kaito looked up at the sky with dreadful eyes, not able to watch you walk away from him again. He regretted his actions everyday, and just wanted 5 minutes to explain exactly what has been going on during the past few weeks. He wanted to explain that it was all Annie, that she was the one who spread rumors, she was the one who turned your friends against you, he wanted so badly to sit and apologize for anything hes ever done, and tell you that hes trying to change for real this time....but now the only thing he can do is store his thoughts away, as you leave again.

-

"I think we just need to say fuck it and go to Paris"

Taehyung looked away from his hands as he hung up new curtains you bought, the ladder he stood on shaking as he turned to you. "hm?"

"I think we should just go, I really need to get out of Busan"

He smiled gently, eyes returning to his task "I thought we agreed to go in a few weeks, that way you can visit your mom after words during vacation time"

"we should go now, I dont really care anymore"

He frowned a bit at your tone, "whats the urgency, baby? everything okay?" he stepped down the ladder.

You swallowed, "everything is fine, I just need a vacation, and I think its good to just...go"

He nodded slowly, trying not to pry into your sudden desire to leave, "okay...um, we can do that. I'll call them..." he smiled, "what about your mom? thought you wanted to tell-"

"it can wait"

"are you sure youre okay Y/N?"

you sigh, laying into his chest as you hug him, "I just want to be away and alone with you, stressed." you mumble, deciding against getting into the whole kaito thing, knowing he would blow it out of proportion.

Taehyung rubbed your back "ahh...okay....well how do you feel if I move the trip to Monday?"

"i'll let work know"

-

"here"

Taehyung handed you a cold cloth that he had dampened in the airplane bathroom, allowing you to put it on your neck.

Given that there has been time between your last airplane experience to now, you were more prepared on what to do when you felt sick.

"thank you" you mumbled, closing your eyes "how much longer?"

"6 hours baby" Taehyung spoke sadly, looking back at you, your face was pale and clammy.

"mm...damnit"

"I know but just sleep, i'll be here, okay? breath through it" his gentle smile brought you to feel even a little safer.

The flight was long, and bothersome. When you werent on the verge of puking, you tried to sleep, but the seat was too uncomfortable so you tried to lean up against Taehyung, who was moving too much, so you decided to just lay back and count the minutes until this hell ride was over.

The only safe thought was that soon you and taehyung would be alone, entirely, in Paris. The most romantic place...pretty much ever.

You did your best to ignore the whiney nagging voice in the back of your head reminding you about what Kaito said, and how the baby could possibly be his. You wanted to discuss with your boyfriend, which would have been the right thing to do of course, but the way Taehyungs eyes light up when you talk or even slightly mention the pregnancy in anyway, makes you feel like a knife was throw directly into your heart. You cant break him, its okay to lie in some instances, right?

Besides, you were 99.9% positive it was taehyung's anyway, considering there was only a few times you and Kaito ever did it, and only once without secure protection. Chances here are, youre worrying about nothing.

This trip will be nothing but relaxing, a week away from all the shit in both of your lives.

The last time you and Taehyung went to Paris was a few summers ago, it was before the whole friends with benefits and emotionally constipated feelings arose, so this time around will be like an incredibly new experience.

Once the plane ride did finally come to a stop, Taehyung helped gather your luggage as you made your way to the center of the airport arrival gate.

"The taxi guy told me he would pick us up around 6:25pm, we have a few minutes, lets grab something to eat....you didnt eat on the plane"

You smiled, pulling your bag behind you, "because the food was gross, and I felt awful"

"are you feeling better now?"

"a little...I just need to sit and drink water"

He made sure to allow you time to relax as you felt your nausea slip away

Once you both got in the taxi, you eagerly looked out the window to admire the beautiful city that is Paris, the way everyone dressed, the beautiful agriculture, Busan had its perks...but Paris was such a different experience.

"im glad we're here" taehyung whispered, kissing your shoulder as he reached for your hand

"me too" you grinned softly, leaning forward to press a quick kiss to his lips "thank you for taking me"

"I wouldn't know who else to take, your my only one." he whispered, squeezing your hand

It was late in the evening, but the sun was just starting to set once you both arrived to your hotel

"oh this is beautiful" you spoke as you stood out of the car, admiring how fancy everything seemed.

"wait until you walk in"

your boyfriend assisted you with getting the bags out, putting them on a small wheeler as you began to lead inside the building.

A cool breeze hit you once you entered the lobby, an overwhelming aroma of cleanliness and bakery foods filled you, making you turn to taehyung "wow..."

"yeah...." he smiled, eyes looking everywhere, "lets check in, I wanna see our room"

-

The room that was arranged origanally just for Taehyung, included a king sized bed, a large flat screen tv, a mini fridge, and.....a terrace with chairs.

"this is so fucking cool!!" you giggled, running around the spacious area before collapsing on the bed

"this is so exciting, look!!" he ran to the terrace, admiring the view of the now dark city, lights shining everywhere.

You had gotten up to follow, a smile creeping onto your face as you hugged him from behind. "I love you"

He turned his body to face you, arms grabbing your waist before pressing a delicate kiss to your lips "I love you" his forehead was pressed to yours as he gently swayed, the music from the cafe below was loud enough to hear from outside, adding to such a perfect moment.

"this is gonna be a fun trip"

"I agree....lets just not worry about anything, just you and me" you whisper, hands cupping his face

"just you and me, thats easy" Taehyung chuckled, spinning you around before teasingly dipping you over, kissing you again

"how romantic" you giggled, holding onto him

"mhm I try" he led you back into the room "we can unpack in the morning while we have breakfast, I plan to go museum searching tomorrow anyways"

"that sounds fun...let me at least unpack an outfit so I know what to wear" you ran to your suitcase, eyeing some dresses and taking them out as taehyung laid on the giant bed, eyes looking at the french tv guide.

You held a fluffy white dress up to you in the mirror, tilting your head as you decided if it was a good choice or not. Taehyung looked over and smiled, "thats cute, baby"

"is it?" you look over, "I tried it on before we left....its okay, its kinda tight around my stomach and you can kinda see the bump at this point."

Taehyung stood to stand behind you, arms hugging you as you shared a gaze in the mirror. "my beautiful girl" his lips reached your neck "why wouldnt you want to show it off? youre sexy" he teased, gently squeezing your butt as you sighed

"ahh! stop" you jokingly scolded, folding the dress "I guess i'll wear it...its supposed to be really hot tomorrow" you tossed the clothing down on top of your suite case as you turned to look at your boyfriend "what are you doing?"

He scrolled through his phone, tapping something before a gentle jazzed tune emitted throughout the room, you raised an eyebrow as he set the device down.

"dance with me"

"no" you giggled, turning as his arm gently grabbed yours

"please, baby, just for a little" he smiled, voice low and quiet as you fell against his chest. "you look so beautiful...wanna enjoy every moment I have with you"

You blush, closing your eyes as he sways a bit to the music "i look dirty...I am dirty, we just had a 12 hour flight"

"you're always beautiful, and we can take a shower after this"

"so you admit it, I stink" you giggle

He sighed, pulling away to look you in the eye "no, im just saying we can clean up after, stop questioning everything and just let me love you right now and always" he smirked

"mmkay...." you smiled, hiding your face before swaying again

The room was dim, and you had to admit, you were more at peace in this moment than you had been in the past month.

"love you...so much" his hands grazed your back as he spoke against the top of your head.

"Love you more" you whispered, tightening your grip on him.

For a split second you felt guilt, guilt because you forgot that you were pregnant, and it wasnt just the two of you...and you will never have time like this alone again...and somewhere deep down you feel sad about that.

As if he knows your mind is wandering, he leads you to the bed and sits down, pulling you to his lap. "do you wanna sleep before we order dinner?" he asked, hands combing through your hair

"yeah.."

he pulled you down to lay on his chest, between his legs. The rather loud sound of his heartbeat allowed you to melt into his touch.

You couldn't help but imagine as you closed your eyes, that is was just you and taehyung....and you had done things the right way....just you, and your boyfriend together on a trip.

The thought was rude, and selfish, but it didnt stop you from thinking it.

Life would change, and you knew you needed to start taking advantage of these moments now, before youre mom and hes dad.

right now?

you're Y/N and Taehyung.

taglist-

@turnthepageandbeburnt @taebangtanbabe @borahaexoxo @lelefoodlover @tan-veee

[aita-blorbos]

AITA for almost making someone die?

ok ik thats a lot, so ill try to start at the beginning. i (17nb) have been working with this one environmental organization since it was started when i was 12. ive devoted a lot of time to it n to seeing it grow, n when the group got big enough that we could rly expand to more places than just my country i was actually assigned to be in charge of running things here. i dont do it alone or anything bc i do have help from our real leader (40s m) n the people who run the branches in the 2 other countries we operate in, especially the one whos also been here since the beginning (30s nb), but its still a rly big responsibility n its important for me to b able to focus n not let other things distract me from my job.

a few months back, i thought it mite b nice to make my own account on the social media site where our group has the most presence so i could post abt personal things. i didnt mention my connections though (the stuff we do is kinda a bit illegal). it went rly well, n i ended up talking to this one person (20s f) who was rly nice, n we became friends p quick. the big problem was that she didnt like my group at all bc she was rly mad abt some of the stuff we'd done in her country, so there was kinda a conflict there. but some stuff happened, she ended up finding out who i rly was, n surprisingly she wasnt rly that mad at me? n she promised to keep it a secret, n it kinda went well from there other than it being kinda uncomfortable that she liked me n not what i do.

i mean, it did for a while. eventually though it became rly clear that talking to her was distracting me from my work, so my boss n coworker asked me to cut her off. n it hurt kinda a lot, but i did it. n thats where the story shouldve ended.

then i kinda fucked up. i was feeling rly weird bc of of smth that had just happened, n my boss n coworker weren't able 2 pick up the phone. my other coworker (??? i dont even kno this persons pronouns) isnt rly good w emotional stuff, but that was the last person i had to contact for support. n that person wasnt there either.

n i kno it was a mistake. i kno i shouldnt have done it. but i was kinda desperate for someone to talk to, n i ended up calling the friend id cut off even though i knew i wasnt supposed to. n she answered, n we talked. n i tried to go back to normal after that, but she started texting me again, n eventually i broke n answered her.

fast forward to today, n i just found out that my coworker had to try to kill my friend bc i couldnt control myself w her. the person who told me says it wasnt my fault, but if id just been able to resist the temptation to contact her again there wouldnt have been any messages for them to see in the first place. n on top of that, i kno that caring abt ppl too much makes them die, n i still let myself make that connection w her in the first place.

i mean, i think its p clear im the asshole here. basically the whole posts just been stuff i did wrong. but i kinda want to get confirmation, just so i dont have to keep thinking abt the thing the person who gave me the news said.