#if u disagree: nuh uh

[bucketspammer4life]

☆ punch out sexuality headcanons ☆

im running out of funny things to say help me, also tw for mentions of homophobia & transphobia

Glass Joe

- aromantic asexual (sex neutral, romance positive) + trans, he/him

- Just because hes ace doesnt mean he doesnt make inappropriate jokes on a daily basis, if there was a ranking of who made the most sexual jokes he'd be at the top

- when he came out as trans to his parents they were suprisingly supportive even though they didnt understand much, it just went like: "mom, dad, im a boy and if you dont like that too bad" "we dont care as long as you dont murder anyone" And they were generally chill with him

- when he first binded he used bandages & cloth instead of a actual binder (before he came out) and due to that he almost wasnt able to get top surgery

- has faked a lot of crushes to fit in during his childhood, ended up dating 3-5 people he didnt even like

- thought his gender envy was attraction until he just asked himself "do i wanna be them or be with them" And boom, gender confusion

- fell down the "im not like other girls!" to "im not a girl." pipeline

Von Kaiser

- demiromantic, demisexual + bi with a preference for men, he/they

- when he didnt know the demi labels he just saw himself as a picky dater, when he saw the demi labels he was like "Wait thats me" And pretty much ascended on the spot

- thought everyone just liked both men & women until he said it out loud and got met with pure shock

- his first crush was a famous model he saw in a fashion magazine, also slipping down the "do i wanna be them or be with them" pipeline

- his dad wasnt really supportive but became a bit more open minded once he realized that his hatred distanced himself from his son even more

Disco Kid

- nonbinary,gay, he/she

- okay with both feminine & masculine terms

- somebody tried to call him "princess" to insult him when he was little, instead he took it as a compliment and saw them as a friend, still in contact with said person & theyre besties now, the princess thing has become a nickname for him

- when he first came out his parents were like "the closet was wide open" and were not suprised at all, they saw it coming 1000 miles away as soon as he started it out with the "i have to say something important"

- started doing make up & playing around with dresses thanks to a close friend of his (the childhood friend) , when he first put on a dress he was like "i think i realized something"

King Hippo

- #1 label hater + all pronouns

- if he were to use labels, he would count as gender apathetic and pan oriented aroace

- labels are for losers to him

- not out but his parents know that he doesnt give a shit about labels, they first found out when he didnt care about being called "queen" and liked it, they have no problem with it

Piston Hondo

- pan, cis (?) + he/him but likes to refer to himself with feminine pronouns in japanese

- not out to his parents but dropping hints, theyre struggling to pick up on it and hes going mad over it

- going through some major gender questioning™

- playing around with dresses & femininity and enjoying it

Great Tiger

- polysexual (prefs are enbies, men & genderqueer ppl), genderqueer + all pronouns

- closeted it but trying to make it clear hes not straight,its just flying over his parents head like "oh me oh my our son is sure close with his friends!! Such close bros"

- likes dresses not only for spinning skirts but also how comfy they are

Bear Hugger

- gay, bear (ITS IN THE NAME. COME ON THE CLOSET IS GLASS), trans + he/him but ok with they/them

- when he first came out there was a lot of crying, not in the "i wont accept this wahh" way but more in the "i cant believe you trusted me enough to tell me this" way

- didnt know he was trans until he said "yeah i like being called son, yeah i like being called manly, im a girl though" out loud and he was like "wait a minute"

- has had 2-3 boyfriends during his teen years and is still in touch with them since the break ups were done without any harsh feelings & grudges, hes the only person that can see his exes all chatting together and not die of a heart attack on the spot

Don Flamenco

- gay, trans + he/they

- got called gay way before he knew it since he kept calling his male friends handsome often, always passed it off like "cant a man call his friend handsome?"

- the only feminine terms he will accept is queen and aunt, refer to him as anything other than that and he will punch you to orbit

- cut off contact with his parents since they didnt accept him & kicked him out, the only person who took him in was his aunt, she helped him get t & bind safely before he got top surgery

Aran Ryan

- genderfluid, pomosexual + all pronouns

- label hater but still uses them because why not

- came out in the most casual way possible, was just chilling on the couch with his dad and he just said "i kinda like being called miss sometimes" from boredom just to see dad go "huh??"

- sometimes does drag when he feels fem

Soda Popinski

- gay, cis + he/him

- Rocky dating history, most break-ups of his were really sad since it was either forced by family members or over arguments

- exes with bald bull but they still get along & dont care about their past, they just had better platonic connection and decided together

- out but not, making it clear hes a bit fruity but not too much for it to snowball into "the rumour come out: does soda popinski is gay?"

Bald Bull

- Boyflux, gay + he/they

- flamboyantly gay and cannot hide it no matter how much he tries, the closet is not even present, show him someone he has a crush on and you'll hear the gayest squeal in your life before he evaporates into thin air and holds you at gunpoint

- has the Don Flamenco issue going for him, compliments his male friends and calls them handsome wayyy too often, this time its 99% more obvious

- either really bitter with his exes or close friends, no inbetween, if you tell him "yeah your exes asked about you, theyre there" theres a 50% chance its gonna have his soul physically exit him and another 50% chance hes gonna walk right over to them and say hi

- not out publicly since it would cause a shitstorm, only out to a few people he trusts, has issues trusting people to not say his secrets since a close friend of his outed him during his teen years

Super Macho Man

- bi (slight pref for women), cis + he/she

- didnt really come out, he just showed up to his parents door with his (now ex) bf and was like "heyy say hi to my boyfriend" and everyone just kinda accepted it

- thought the attraction to men was envy for a long time until he learned the fact that wanting to be lifted into the arms of a man and making out with said man is not really straight

Mr Sandman

- gendervoid, demiromantic, acespec, pan + all pronouns

- feels like he should be more masculine but cant bring himself to it,he cant force his behavior to act in a way that doesnt fit him

- out and about, hes not repressing himself for anyone

[theemporium]

❤️ 29 Quinn

Congrats on 10k!! U deserve it

thank you for requesting!🫶🏽

29. “It’s my thigh or nothing. I’m not lifting a finger to help you get off.”

.

He was being unfair. 

He had been the one teasing you all day, tempting you, dangling what you wanted most in front of your face when he knew you couldn’t do anything about it. He had been the one that decided to wear your favourite pair of shorts out on the boat, who had made such a show of sitting back, spreading his legs and acting surprised when you were practically drooling over his thighs. 

So yeah, you may have been acting like a bit of a brat but, at the end of the day, it was his fault. Not yours. You were simply an innocent victim in the situation. 

But judging by the smirk on your boyfriend’s face, you were inclined to believe he disagreed. 

“Don’t give me that look, baby,” Quinn cooed, soft and sweet and a little patronising because he knew it made you squirm. “You’ve been the one staring all day. If you want it, take it.”

You swallowed harshly. “Quinn—”

“Nuh uh,” he shook his head, making a point of leaning further back on his spot on the couch. “It’s my thigh or nothing. I’m not lifting a finger to help you get off.”

You whined, your legs already straddling his lap from when you climbed on top of him a few minutes ago. In your mind, you finally got him alone for the first time all day and you expected him to be just as relentless as you. 

By now, you assumed he would have bent you over the couch and fucked you dumb until you were tired and boneless and he was carrying you up to the bathroom where you could persuade him into taking a bath with you. 

Instead, he had been acting like he was in no rush to embrace the few hours of alone time you had before the others came back from the hike they were on. Even climbing onto his lap and letting your dress ride up had done little to tempt him. 

“Aw, poor girl,” he taunted, lifting his hand to squeeze your cheeks together. “I spoil you too much, hm? Too much of a princess to do any work yourself. Always so reliant on me fucking you stupid and doing all the work.” 

“You’re being mean,” you huffed, your hands settled low on his stomach as you fiddled with the hem of his shirt. 

“And you’re being greedy,” he retorted, his arms now spread out along the back of the couch as he grinned back at you. “C’mon, you’re the one so desperate to get off. My thigh is there for you, honey. You’ve done it before.” 

You resisted the urge to roll your eyes. “I don’t want your thigh. I want you. Inside of me.” 

“Then guess you gotta be a good girl and stay patient,” he murmured, enjoying the way your cheeks flushed in response. “And I’ll fuck you all you want later if you behave right now.”

.

[rzyraffek]

Platonic yandere yautja x human child reader

Aww dad yautja😊 I didn't write for yautjas in months!! Hopefully u enjoy it!! Also i used they/them for kid. No tw, only cuteness and wholesome dad figure yautja👹 request open

Dad yautja with human kid

Bro is confused ??? Tf??? Why is there a child here??

He either found them abandoned in middle of nowhere or accidentally killed their perents, by 'accidentaly' i mean ofc he wanted to kill them he just didn't know there was a child nearby and now he feels bad

Kinda finds human pups ugly😭 why are you so smol and loud wtf

Dad!yautja after he kinda adopts y/n he gets too overprotective! Like dude won't leave their side at all, especially when you guys are outside; dude will pick them up and just carry around.

Can't cook to save his life, he kinda set kitchen on fire. And humans cant eat raw meat, so now you are on fruit diet for now (and veggies)

Had this parental instinct to teach them everything, how to shoot, find food, basic self-defence, overall taking good care of themselfs. But he kinda likes that he has to provide for them, it gives him control yknow

When he carries them around everywhere! He acually lets them sit on his shoulders or just hang on his neck😓😍

Cant say no to those cute big eyes! Yes he will let them 'decorate' his armor (with glitter and stickers) and he will let them paint his nails and he will lisen to them gossip about their friends.

If his kid is a little artist and walks up to him and says "papa i drew you!" He does not care that he looks like a lizard nor that they didn't color it perfectly. Dude is purring, picking y/n up and he carries this drawing in pocket everywhere

Other yautjas say that he spoils them, but he disagrees! Your a HUMAN baby, i mean yeah your basically one of yautjas now but!!! Your tiny! And your skin is so squishy!!!

He had to learn how to comb their hair cuz at some point y/n simply refused to cut it (me too lil guy) and he respects them so much he won't just do something against them

Kinda wishes he could understand human body language more

Also about body language i can imagine kid just kinda mimicing yatuja body language and habits. Like dad!yatuja will say "child please go to bed its late" the kid will just angry respond with a hiss👹 "hsssss👽🦎" "?????" If yaujtas had eyebrows, he would rise them

If y/n is a girl, and she has her first period? Dude panics! HUHH WHAT BLOOD??? FROM WHERE!?? UHHHH????

Dude tries to be a perfect father figure, he tries to have similar intrests with his kid so they can connect more, but if y/n is totally not into hunting, collecting, nature themed stuff, Yautja is more than happy to catch up with whatever teens are into this days, but he will judge the hell out of tv shows (if they watch any)

I kinda forgot it suppose to be yandere so it turned out to be just wholesome im so sorry

Understands that kid needs privacy but he will just go invisible mode and lurk in shadows! Like what if somone attacks you??? Or worse! What if you meet some humans that he doenst like??? What if they will tell y/n all lies about what 'bad war crimes' he commited and what 'murderous' his kind is!! Those are lies pls dont lisen to humans

No boy/girlfriends!!! Nuh uh!! Your his little baby you cant go doing all those... things... with some human. ugh! this person probably can't even hunt for you!! Or give you nice treasures!! Or build a pretty nest!! Why would you like them my child?? Look at all those trophies i gathered for all those years! You should stay here!

He loves the fact that he lives in some wild ass jungle and y/n cant leave him due to all those dangers around, plus he loves that y/n will always stay tiny(in comparison obviously) and weak so be basically needs to provide for them! Right???

I used x reader tags ONLY to reach bigger audience

[em0puppy]

i really don't normally do these things but i've been starting to feel just a teensy bit guilty about not being the sappy type lol and i got this urge at 1 am this morning while in a coffee-driven all-nighter and decided fuck it (this is a repeating factor in decisions i make. send help.)

so here's a small lil list of amazing people i'm genuinely overjoyed to be friends or even just moots with <3

yes im copying brookie bite me /silly

stuff under cut cuz this is gonna be long lol

@mischiefburns - my darling husband first of course !! <3 half joking marriage aside i'd say you're one of my closest friends - even if we've only known each other for just a few months. you're just the right amount of gentle and still know when to put your foot (er, claw-bug-thing) down, and i admire that about you. you know when to stop when boundaries are set up and to not push those, and you're not afraid to enforce your own, something i constantly fail to do (• ▽ •;) i love how open you are about yourself and how caring you care <3 ilysm !! mmmmwah :3 (im trying to get better at regretevator i promise)

@bluginkgo - first things first if you disagree with anything here i will punt you. (/silly /hj) you're so endearing, and your little emoticons never fail to make me smile. the message you sent me the other week really helped a lot, and your reaction spamming when i post art really does help with my motivation !! you're one of the most wholesome people i've ever met, and when your discord pfp changes to your sona with a bandaged leg i get worried for you. i love seeing your discussions in the nuzi server or your art popping up on my dash because HOLY SHIT YOU'RE GIFTED I TELL YOU !!!! like your nuzi fankid exploded my final 0.3 braincells i have left in the absolute best way but i'll save that speech for another time <3

@noridoorman - HIIIII MOM >:3 (i hope this tag is ok!! lmk if it's not <3) you're literally the second person i thought of when writing the idea down for this fhsfeesfigr. i love hanging out with you in VC and watching your stream or you drawing or listening to you and doomed voice ace attorney and you threatening to throw certain people (brookie and blu specifically) out windows or grab them by the scruff is literally the highlight of my day and never fails to make me laugh. you're so kind and funny and i'm sorry i can't share your love of k-pop 😔 (/silly) TRYING TO CATCH UP ON CINNAMON SCENT TOO BUT THE ADHD IS LIKE NUH UH </33

@brookiedaaroacecookie - im claiming you and miko as my siblings we can be triplets (/hj /nf) BUT SERIOUSLY THO i view you as my younger sibling and i love hanging out with you <3 you officiating mischief and mine's (GRR OFC IT WAS REAL /silly) wedding will forever be a memory i'll keep and tell to my grandkids in sixty something years or something like that idfk. i still have your little tag thing screenshotted and i'm sorry i can't tell the difference between french toast and grilled cheese </3 (/silly) also whats keats and why do you always laugh at it or was that an autocorrect thing /silly but also /gq

@spinnydraws - DFUHERFGRGIE I KNOW WE'VE ONLY BEEN MOOTS FOR LIKE. A WEEK AND A HALF OR SOMETHING IDK. BUT. HEAR ME OUT. already i view you as a friend and i'm extremely grateful to be moots with you! you're extremely funny and kind, and when you like or reblog my art i ascend to heaven. everytime i see your art i explode all over again even if i've already exploded not five minutes ago. AND WHY ARE YOU LITERALLY SO N. LITERALLY. WAHT. (/vpos) BUT LIKE. honestly you're a big comfort of mine already (i have a problem of wanting to be besties with literally every n kinnie out there. uzi kintype noises.) and i'd love to get to know you more !! <3

@nuzilicious - i refuse to give up trying to make you undislike me. until then all u get is ur awesome and im extremely thankful u havent blocked and banned me!!!!!! /silly /j

@uzibrainrot - omg what do i even say. you're so wholesome and so goofy and i loved roleplaying md with you on roblox even if it was just for a bit and if you wanna do it again sometime i'd absolutely love to!!!! i know we don't interact much but when we do it's awesome !! i promise the art trade is almost done i promise promise promise shhdshjdshfh. ALSO WHEN YOU WANNA WORK ON THAT VOLL CRACKFIC TOGETHER LMK!!! :DDD!!

i would @ andy but idk his tumblr so um. andy if you see this, you're not only one of the kindest most woke and most funny beings on this planet (i've never seen a cishet guy do a colon three it's literally so funny HELP /lhj /gen), but also a mind-blowingly awesome mc player !! :DD

ok i must disappear into the void to take care of my cramps (ew) so im gonna die now but ily all sm and hope you're all doing MORE than great !!! :DD!!!!! (/p /gen) explodes and dies in the grand canyon. or something. idk i need to stop exploding.

[z0mbk1tty]

here's my list of other cool fictional characters i feel like miles be literally besties with:]

HEADS UP!! There are gonna be some huge spoilers from other fandoms and characters so if you havent watched/played/etc the stuff then i maybe recommend you to that or not! Its fine u dont wanna:)

ok so idk how to start the list BUT WHO CARES LETS DO IT ANYWAY BABEH!!!

(Also ill explain why i think the characters and miles could possibly be cool buddsters)

Tanjiro kamado from demon slayer/kimetsu no yaiba: i think tanjiros positivity and energetic personality would be a pretty good example i think but tanjiro really cares about others and will literally risk his own life just to save someone, so like if there was ever a tanjiro spiderman i feel like tanjiro would just be super positive and kind with miles. Like literally if someone is mad at tanjiro or something like that one scene in season 3 where genya is just being grumpy but tanjiro uses his best boi eyes and makes genya literally stunned lol. But tanjiro would also be also comforting and caring to miles because like just imagine if miles was sad and stuff but tanjiro is like "nuh uh!" And comforts him LIKE HHSHSHSHS!! Even in the anime he's caring and super kind,super light hearted,very pure like hes just a happy fella and i think miles needs a postive friend like tanjiro cuz if yall watched itsv and atsv...yk what poor miles had to go through bro😭

Deku/ Izuku Midoriya: OKK just a quick uhhh explaining uhmm...i haven't watched..mha.. IMM SORRYY IK UR GONNA HATE ON ME CUZ OF IT BUT LISTEENNNN!! HEAR ME OUT. i saw one fanart of a cool crossover with the characters miles and Deku and i just thought that they might be cool friends even tho i havent watched the anime or read the manga. But if you are a mha fan..PLS SHARE UR OPINION ON THISS😭😭

Kel/kelsey from omori: Again just like tanjiro. Kind of. Again i feel like miles needs an friend that is super positive and always tries to lighten the mood. Literally when mari died kel was still happy and joyful. Thats literally because he tries to lighten the mood of his friends and make them happy again like LAST YEARS BRO! He literally tried to help aubrey to stop bullying basil and tried maybe helping her to come back to the friend group like years ago yk? So imagine if frickin spider man kel or whatever actually does that to miles when he feels sad to? And plus i think kel and miles would be an pretty powerful duo as both spiderman lol.

Kagamine len/ Len: ik what yall gonna say for this. "oH iTs imPosSiblE foR thEm tO Be frIenDs bla bla bla"Quit with the chatterbox. IF there is a miku spider woman then there is a len spider man IDC. Anyways ik miles and len would be an unstoppable duo! Literally. Even tho len is a fricking voice machine and miles is a person with spider powers. They'd still be buddies if they met cause hear me out! Look ive never played pjsk before cuz of storage issues so i could never even detect what lens actual personality is like but to me he seems out going and funni:) and idk something about them screams best friends yk?

Hero/Henry (yes thats his real name..) from omori: wowzers another omori character. Yeah i kinda ran outta ideas so i just chose another omori character! But lemme cook rq brosters. If kel could be bros with miles then kels brother TOO!!! 1 he could prob teach miles some cooking recipes even tho he quitted doing that. 2 i feel like hero and miles would be like brother figure dynamic prob like kel i guess? And again MILES NEEDS MORE CARING FRIENDS BRO!! AND HERO IS CARING CUZ HE LITERALLY SAVED SUNNY FROM DROWNING AND BASIL TOO!!

Anyways thats all i have for this! Pls tell me what fictional characters you think miles could be buddies with in the comments or your opinions! And also its alright if you disagree with something in this list just remember that these are just my opinions so im fine with you not buying it lol

[hopeheartfilia]

ahhh trying to analyse what i think about mo ran's little inner monologue about liking chu wanning and not shi mei and like

:readmore:

fundamentally i do thinks there is some truth to it, like putting someone on a pedestal as pure and good isnt really about being in love.. like its you not the state of u get to the nitty gritty, if u dont like their flaws specifically do you even like them or just the idea of this perfect kind eprson youve build in your mind that cannot be sullied

but also i feel like i disagree about the. sexual aspect of it? like just because youre not horny doesnt mean you dont have a crush? but also i tried to explain what it feels like to have a crush when not hornh and im having the issue of im demiromantic and ive had one crush in my whole ass life and it was in middle school, i simply do not know enough about romantic attraction to tell you. Like i can easily say that Mo Ran isnt experiencing just sexual attraction, even if he is ridiculously horny, but like

How to explain that while yes i dont 5hink you had a crush on shi mei that its not because you dont like shimei physically? you also dont seem to enjoy spending time with shimei that much and dont seem to have many meaningfull connections with him. also also you dont seem to want to be closer to shi mei you just want him to be safe and happy and stuff? It sounds a bit likea ! hes so nice to me, sort of squish. Like when someone does somethibg really nice for you and you decide that youve pack bonded and youre gonna be extra nice to them and youre gonna be the bestest of friends

but often they end up not even being your best friend. because your bestfriend is someone who you dont get tired if being around for days in end and who you can argue but then understand each other, not just someone whos nice to you. you know.

And like Mo Ran doesnt like Chu Wanning jsut because he does somethibg nice for him, he respects jim and has the eorlds most obvious crush BeforE that, thats just when he goes Shizun care for me too? owo and then Cherish the shizun protect the shizun, and i feel like the xie sini moment of Arent I human too? Dont I hurt too? Was more important? Like figuiring out hes been fundamentally misunderstanding Chu Wanning and then finding out for himself what the guy is really liek is what does it for him, because its the understanding, its about the knowing

You can like people without knowing them but you cant love them without knowing them and being willing to learn more

Anyway im going on a tangent and i still cant tell you what the difference in the whole lvoe thing eould be between learning to love chu wanning romantically and in general is outside of he thinks all of his sharpest edges are cute? they endear shizun to him, and thats all i have because i dont remember the like. questions of that What type of attraction are you feeling? quiz that helps me work it out.

yeah i have a bit more emotional intelligence then mo ran because i spend a looot of time thinking and self analysing but also its not by much. which is partly why i find his EM of -33 so relatable. mine is zero in this metaphor, which is better but still. like at least i can tell other peoples emotions apart with a suprsingly high degree of accuracy for someone who had managed to convince themselves they cant feel guilt and it was just anger obviously, not misplaced guilt nuh uh

ah i need to figuire out hoe to add a readmore in mobile for this rant

anyway mo ran yes correct conslusion that youre head over heels for chu wanning and not in love with shi mei, but no i dont think its just because you desire him carnally, you also desire him in every other way, ehich does not seem to apply to shi mei, but i dont think youre ready for that internal "im not even sure you consider shi mei as a human person with like agency and shit and nit a prop in your backstory" conversation. Which. I do see that shi mei isnt written that way which is just.. perfection, the complexity of secondary characters in danmei is unparalleled, love it when people that arent the main couple have personalities

[floralseokjin]

final sleigh drabble #3

❛ Seokjin has an idea…❜

original oneshot here // drabble index here

kim seokjin x reader  smut, oral (female receiving) 2,409 words 

Seokjin noticed Ana trailing into the kitchen first seeing as you were too busy nosing through his cupboards in hunt of something for brunch. “Good morning, or should I say,” he glanced at his watch. “Ten minutes to midday.” 

“Morning,” your best friend greeted, tone unenthusiastic. “Do you have any coffee?” 

“I made some not too long ago. It should still be hot enough.” 

You joined Seokjin who was leant up against one of the counters, watching Ana grab two mugs from the draining board. “What time did you two wake up?” She asked, looking in your direction. 

“Too early. Seokjin snores.” 

“Hey, no I don’t!” He exclaimed. “Y/N kicks in her sleep. I’m surprised I’m not black and blue.” 

Ana chuckled, rubbing her sleepy eyes. “You get used to it.” 

Folding his arms, Seokjin suddenly looking curious. “Where’s the sex god himself then?” 

As Ana poured the coffee, she immediately looked unimpressed. “Are we just going to pretend like you two weren’t up to no good last night too?” 

“Up to no good?” Seokjin repeated, turning to you with judgement in his eyes. “Why do you guys speak like you’re middle aged?” Before you could think to whack him, he was talking again. “Anyway, I have no idea what you’re referring to. Y/N and I played monopoly and were fast asleep by 11pm.” 

“Sure, now who’s middle aged?”

You couldn’t help but laugh at that. “No, but really, where is Yoongi?” 

“In the shower. He asked for coffee.” 

“And you’re just going to get it for him?” Seokjin snorted. 

“I wanted some too.” 

Tutting, Seokjin pushed himself off the counter. “He’s got you wrapped around his little finger already. Watch him, he may be small but he’s dangerous.” 

With a scoff, your best friend looked your way, grabbing the two mugs. “I can’t believe you’re fucking him, Y/N.” 

“Me neither.” 

Her parting words as she left the kitchen caused chaos. “No wonder she calls you dick cheese.” 

“Dick what?!” Seokjin roared in disbelief. 

Great, thanks for that, Ana... 

.

.

You spent the rest of the day at Seokjin’s place, watching lame Christmas movies on his sofa. You hadn’t brought fresh clothes, not expecting to spend the night so Seokjin had loaned you a pair of his boxers and sweats (drawstring pulled as tight it could go around your waist), plus a t-shirt, which was painful ill-fitting, but it beat your laddered tights... Ana had gone home a couple of hours ago, her and Yoongi awkwardly saying goodbye to one another as you and Seokjin watched in amusement and then soon after that Yoongi slipped out, meeting his Aunt’s family for dinner. 

Seokjin soon made use of an empty house... Right now you were stretched out on top of him, moulded against his body, your lips swollen and sticky from too much kissing. “Seokjin,” you whined lowly, needing to catch your breath.

He grunted, leaving a trail of wet kisses down your throat instead. “Mmm. You’ve made me hard again.” 

You swore this man had bountiful amounts of energy. You were still a little stiff from last night (and this morning) but grinding down on his crotch like you couldn’t help it (you couldn’t) heat pooled between your legs. “Do you want to head to your room?”

He pulled his head back and grinned impishly. “I have a better idea. Sit on my face. Right here.” To emphasise his point he slapped your ass with both hands, bumping you into his crotch again. 

“No way.” 

He frowned instantly. “No way to the sofa? Or to face sitting in general?”

You let yourself think. It was mostly the sofa situation, but the idea of just blatantly sitting on his face did make you a little self-conscious... Then again, there wasn’t really a reason to feel nervous with Seokjin. “The sofa.” You decided. 

His face lit up. “Ah, so you want to ride my face then. Dirty, dirty girl.” He wrapped his arms around you before his hands reached between your bodies to cup your boobs. You didn’t have a bra on, your nipples were so hard they practically stabbed him. 

“Get off,” you grumbled, cheeks reddening as you struggled to free yourself. He was not getting a rise out of you. “Why do you want me to do it so much?”

He wrapped his arms around you again, but loosely this time, looking up at you as if you were stupid. “Because it’ll be fucking hot!” 

You snorted, but you had to admit the way he was so enthusiastic about it was a major turn on. 

“I’ve been imagining it ever since I ate you out at work.” 

That too. 

He squeezed you and leaned up to kiss your mouth. “Death by your pussy seems an excellent way to kick the proverbial bucket.” 

You couldn’t help the smile that slowly grew on your face. “Would I go to jail for that?”

He audibly thought about it, humming loudly before he decided. “Second degree murder, I’d say.” 

“Oh, my god,” you snorted.

“Are we doing this or not?” He whined. “Because now my I could knock a hole through the wall with my dick and I’m drooling.” 

You raised an eyebrow. “You got turned on by the thought of me suffocating you with my pussy?” 

“Eyy, she’s learning,” he grinned up at you. “I’ll get you to say cunt by the end of the year.” 

“Not seriously you won’t.” 

You reached for a kiss this time, his mouth dropping slightly so your tongue could meet his, and you clutched your fists to the top he wore – an evil purple and grey striped thing that stuck to the outline of his chest. You were done for. 

Breaking away, his eyelids were heavy, voice all a deep, a serious whisper. “Sit that hot, wet cunt on my face, Y/N.” 

“Stopppp,” you whined, whacking his chest and he huffed out before breaking into an annoying fit of giggles. You did not find him very funny. “Let’s go upstairs.” 

He clung to you as you tried to get up. “Yoongi won’t be back yet. We’re safe.” 

“But–

“You’re going to make me walk all the way upstairs with this in my pants. It’s weighting me down. I already did it once last night, it was exhausting.” He moaned. 

He was so dramatic. But you didn’t need much convincing. “Fine.” 

“Yes. Finally!” He exclaimed, letting you go so you were able to strip off from the waist down. You were like a woman possessed when it came to Seokjin, fighting with the drawstring of your borrowed sweatpants in a bid to get naked as fast as possible. 

He took the time to reposition himself, resting his head against the arm of the couch for support. He watched you undress, eyes sweeping over your bare c-u-n-t, and he rushed you with his hands, gesturing you to climb aboard. “Sit that pussy right on my tastebuds, baby.” 

“I am seriously questioning my life choices right now,” you told him as you moved, pausing as your legs straddled his chest. 

He shrugged. “And yet you’re about to take a seat on this throne.” 

“None of what you’re saying is making any sense.” You couldn’t help but laugh. “How do you get girls at all?” 

His face fell serious. “Confession: I was a virgin before you.” 

“I don’t believe that for a second,” you scoffed, jumping when his hands cupped your bare ass, massaging warmth throughout your whole body, (and most importantly what laid between your legs). 

“Yeah, you’re right. I’m way too good in the sack for that to be believable.” 

Rolling your eyes you disagreed. “Way too full of yourself maybe...” 

He chuckled but didn’t indulge you any further, nudging you forward. “Okay, enough talking, more sitting. Take this pretty face for a ride.” 

Fighting back the urge to retort, you listened, straddling his shoulders, centimetres away from his face. You instinctively tried to obstruct his view, crouching over his body, which was pretty pointless. It did nothing. 

“Don’t be shy,” he said, although his voice was softer that moments previous.

You relaxed, concentrating on the way one of his hands curved the round of your ass, giving it an instinctive squeeze. His other hand moved towards your inner thigh, spreading you apart so he could tilt his head towards your heat. He inhaled, a low groan of pleasure rumbling from his throat and you tensed up immediately. “Stop sniffing me, you pervert.” 

He pulled back, all you could see were his eyes. “Says the one who’s groping me.” 

Huh? It took you a moment to realise one of your arms was behind your back, hand cupping his junk on its own accord. You went to pull away but he objected. 

“No, don’t take your hand away!” He took the opportunity to roll his hips into your palm, urging you to continue. He was painfully solid, you could feel him perfectly over his sweatpants. You could feel his breath against your core and it was quickly becoming torture. 

“Okay, Seokjin, come on!” You pressed suddenly. How come you were doing all the pleasuring? “You practically begged me to sit on your face and you’re not even doing anything!” 

“Patience,” he chuckled, his hot breath tickling you as he exhaled. “Besides, maybe I want to make you beg for it...” 

You would not beg. Nuh uh. Let this turn into a stand-off if needed. However as luck would have it, he was feeling impatient too, and not even a couple of seconds later he had a face full of vagina, his tongue curling out to spread your folds. It felt good, don’t get you wrong, but you couldn’t stop yourself from looking out of the window. You were not alone alone. If that made sense. 

“This is so wrong,” you whispered, voice quivering when his lips dragged along your clit, breaking away from your wet heat to look up at you. You couldn’t see his mouth, but the tip of his nose glistened with your arousal. 

“What is?” He asked, confused. 

“What if someone can see in?” Ten seconds ago a man with his dog had walked along the sidewalk. 

“Unless they walk into the yard and press their face up against the window at the exact, painfully awkward angle to look through the shutters, I think we’re safe.” He sounded impatient and you guessed he had a point... You were safe. Nobody could see you sitting on Seokjin’s face. 

“Now move a little,” he told you, pushing you forward by the ass, disappearing once again. “Make a mess of me, baby, I don’t care. I want to get dirty.” 

You mean, you couldn’t really say no to that... Could you? Not when he was so eager and willing. So you started grinding. You still felt a little awkward at first, the position way too intimate to what you were used to, but with the low groans escaping Seokjin’s throat your confidence soon grew, encouraged to chase your high. 

You bunched your borrowed t-shirt up in one fist, eager to see what was going on down there and as Seokjin suctioned his lips around your clit his eyes snapped up to yours. You moaned loudly, turned on by the visual, your hips rolling involuntary. 

God, you needed to touch him again. Eagerly, you leaned back a little, your ass settled against his palms as you still attempted to jerk into his mouth, tongue now busy flicking against your clit. You were still moaning, your fingers slipping in his sweatpants from behind, feeling the warmth of his hard cock. He grunted, lifting his hips up eagerly and you immediately started jerking him off. The angle was shit, your grip and rhythm uneven but it seemed to do the trick as he groaned against you. The vibrations were something else, and unable to stop yourself, you reached for the back of his head with the hand that had been clutching the t-shirt. 

You attempted to hold him there, rolling your hips all over him despite how messy it was turning. You were very wet by now – both your doing – so the squelching noises just added fuel to the fire. This was fucking sinful but so, so addictive. 

“Ngnnn. Seokjin–!” You cried, unable to keep jerking him off with the amount of pleasure coursing through your body. You were getting distracted, greedy for the inevitable. 

“Pleaseee.” Your mouth was also running away with you, begging shamelessly. 

Seokjin grunted, no time for words as he pushed his face further into your heat (if that was possible), neck strained as he tried to meet your angle, veins hard and prominent. He was so fucking hot it was unfair. 

“Oh, my... shit, oh.” You couldn’t keep up with the rapid flick of his tongue, chest heaving as you panted. Who cared about the window now that your orgasm was nigh? Not you! Just a little bit more and you’d cum. You gripped the roots of his hair, readying yourself. He moaned loudly, loving it. 

A... little... bit... more... 

The moan that ripped from your throat signalled the beginning of the end, your whole body tensing as you teetered over the edge. “Yes, yesss, Seokjin, I’m, nghh–!” You cried, voice breaking as pleasure exploded throughout your body, every nerve feeling alive. 

You rode his tongue until you couldn’t take any more, ripping away from him to fall back on his stomach, still panting like crazy. Sitting up slightly, he rubbed the back of his neck. “You did not make that easy at all. I’m sure I pulled a fucking muscle.” 

“Quit being a baby,” you chided. After all, he was the one that had practically begged you to sit on his face. (Not that there’d been much sitting...) 

He looked fucked out, cheeks rosy, smeared in your arousal, lips plumper than usual and the tips of his dark fringe were wet and curled. He looked insanely kissable, but before you could think to act, he was talking. 

“Care to help?” 

You frowned, unsure what he was going on about, until you felt his arm move against your hip. You looked over your shoulder, seeing his hand in his pants, the motion of the fabric moving up and down making it very obvious what he was busy doing... 

“Or are you just gonna watch me give myself a hand job?”

Now that sounded fun... 

Written 2020 - 2021. Please refrain from posting my work elsewhere. No translations allowed. © floralseokjin 2021

[hiatus-for-forever]

Katsuki Bakugou x Reader

Summary: For his birthday, Bakugou gets a date with his crush while they set up a party at the dorms

A/N: This is late cuz I had writers block during his birthday.

Quirk:  You can control plants and make them grow from the ground. You need a base through, like a seed or root and you can make it grow from that. You can move it and make it grow bigger and taller than it is (i.e. you can make a flower huge if you wanted to). If overused, you get dizzy and could pass out.

Warnings/Genre: fluff, cursing, suggestive content somewhere, ooc Bakugou

WC: 1,711

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You were in the common area as they were explaining the plan to you. The doofuses, also known as the entirety of class 1A, made a plan called Operation: Blaze It which was trying to surprise Bakugou with a birthday party. People were planning how to set everything up and decorate a cake you made beforehand. 

At the moment, the said hot-headed man was training with Todoroki, knowing there was no way he would turn down a chance to beat the half-and-half bastard’s ass as a birthday present . As the rest of the class trying to convince you to go through with distracting Bakugou, you were sitting there shaking your head.

“Nope, not doing it” you said, lips pressed to a thin line

“Please!” Kaminari pleaded

“Nuh uh”

“But all the other girls are busy, you already did your part by making the cake”

You liked Bakugou, that part everyone suspected but you never confirmed. Rightfully so as they only occasionally bothered you about him. But it was these times when they pushed you together you regretted enjoying the special treatment he gave you. He yelled and cursed at you less, even being caught helping you out with lessons or training from time to time. 

“Why does it need to be a girl? Can’t Kirishima do it? Y’know being the only other guy he doesn’t completely hate!?” You tried to reason

“Nope, he’s using his teeth to help open packaging later” Sero adds

“What about Jiro? She never annoy Bakugou and she’s not annoying” You suggested

“I disagree” Kaminari butts in, passing by while holding a box of decorations to be hidden.

“As you said, they never talk, it would be uncomfortable”

You grumbled, after going through a list of anyone else but you. They gave out excuse after excuse, hiding the real reason they wanted you to do it this way. In reality, the Bakusquad promised Bakugou a date with you. You didn’t know, of course, as they didn’t know for sure if you liked him back and just used this excuse. 

“Oh yeah and the reservation is under your name” Kaminari said

“.....What?” you seethed. They said to distract him, not to take him out on a date!

“So you take him out to a cafe and keep him away from the dorms until about 6:30 pm” Kaminari said as you tried to swing at him

“So this was set in stone and I had to argue for nothing!? You bitch!” Ojiro had to step in and hold you back with his tail as Kaminari cowered behind Tokoyami and some others in charge of buying more stuff. 

“You should get changed, they’re gonna be back soon” Ojiro sweat-dropped as you glared at him. You sighed

“Don’t worry, I won’t hurt you, the dumbass Pikachu is the only one with a death wish here” you growled as Kaminari ran to ‘uh- check on the stuffs’. Ojiro let you go and you stormed off to your room.

You put on a some denim pants with a simple black off shoulder shirt. You wore black boots and stuffed your phone and wallet into your purse. You finished light makeup and brushed your hair. You headed down and as you exited the elevator you heard a whistle from Kaminari

“Whoo Y/N you look hot. Looking pretty for your date I see” he smirked

“Dumbass Pikachu” you grumbled and sat on the couch with your arms crossed and a scowl on your face. Kirishima came and sat next to you, “Bakugou’s just getting ready, here, to pay for your date” he handed you some money.

“It’s not a fucking date” you said lowly and Kirishima chuckled, “sure” he said and walked away.

You slumped back down in the couch and took out your phone and scrolled through Instagram. The elevator was heard opening and Bakugou stepped out and Kaminari hollered at him too, this guy does not stop bugging you two. 

“Wow Bakugou, it’s the first time I’ve seen you wear something this nice” he said. Bakugou glared at him as he cowered away, “Your date’s over there” Sero snickered and pointed at your direction, Bakugou already making his way over.

“SHUT THE FUCK UP” you and him yelled simultaneously as they did so. You directed your glare at the floor and grabbed Bakugou by his wrist, missing the way his cheeks tainted pink. “Let’s go” you said and pulled him outside.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The walk to the cafe was quiet, the cafe itself being really busy and known for its amazing treats and coffees. You can’t really walk in in the middle of the day expecting to find a seat as to why they had to call in for reservation. The place was pretty much full, not being as noisy as the people respected the fact it’s a cafe people come to enjoy their time. You told the busy waitress your name as she directed you two to a table and excused herself to get back to her work. 

You sat across from Bakugou and looked at the menu. You looked up from the menu and met Bakugou’s eyes. Deciding to break the ice he sighed, “Sorry you were dragged into this” 

You smiled nervously, since neither of you knew how the other got in this position internally screamed at yourself ‘DOES HE KNOW ITS A DISTRACTION? WHAT DID THEY TELL HIM? SHRUG IT OFF SHRUG IT OFFFFF’ 

“It’s fine, they gave us money to spend so let’s waste it all” you laughed as you swore his lips curved up a little. A waiters and waitresses were talking and sent a waiter to your table. You noticed this and told Bakugou to be ready with his order. Then you got an idea to mess with him. 

You jokingly gasped and he looked up at you, “Do I dare? Do I dare tell the waiters it’s your birthday?” You teased

His eyes widened and gave you a scowl, “Absolutely the fuck not” he said

You giggled and shook your head, “I’m just kidding, I won’t”

The waiter was called to a different table and he told a waitress to take care of your orders. She walked up to you, “So, what can I get for this lovely couple?’ she smiled

Your faces turned red as you looked away from each other, “We’re not dating” you said as Bakugou shook his head with a ‘nope’. 

She apologized as she took your orders, yours being a parfait and his being coffee jelly. She wrote it all down and walked away as you two were left with an awkward silence. You pulled out your phone and discreet picture of him and posting it on Instagram with the caption ‘aww he’s not screaming 💥💘 @bakugou_katsuki #BlazeIt’  You said, hinting at his party

He was scrolling through social media too and saw the picture he looked up at you and you giggled. He smirked and took a picture of you too laughing your ass off and posted it with the caption ‘This bitch is so annoying get her away from me 😠 fuck you @Y/N-the-flower’

You pouted at him and went to your phone to comment

‘no u’

You smirked at him and laughed. He snickered with you, the awkwardness finally fading away. You turned off your phone, refusing to look at the comments of yours and Bakugou’s pictures

U 2 having fun? 😚

Get some!!1!

Yall should just fuck already

The tips of his ears turned red as he read the comments and mumbled, “These fuckers”

You pushed his phone to his chest, “bitch, don’t mind them” You smiled and he put his phone away. The treats came and the waitress set down a milkshake, “Um, we didn’t order this” you said politely.

“Oh excuse me, it’s on the house for those cute couples who haven’t got together yet” You blushed again, and he scowled at her as the young girl chuckled, “Thought so”

She placed the parfait in front of you and the coffee jelly in front of Bakugou and the milkshake in between you two while setting down two straws. “Enjoy!” she said happily and left you two. You looked at him and shrugged as you pulled the parfait closer and stuck the spoon in the chocolate strawberry treat. You brought some of it to your mouth and brought your lips around it, moaning at the sweet taste. 

Bakugou’s eyes widened slightly at the whole thing, blushing and feeling his pants tighten. You looked at him, “dude, why aren’t you eating the food here is so fucking good” you said, unintentionally making a suggestive comment. 

“Uhm...” he said slowly taking a spoonful of his coffee jelly. You got another scoop of parfait and kept the spoon in your mouth a little longer. Bakugou was watching you with a weird abnormal expression in his eyes. You gazed at him with questioning eyes, “What’s wrong? Do you want some?” you asked and scooped some in the same spoon you used and brought it to his lips. 

The cool metal hitting his lips snapped him out as he reluctantly let you feed him. “You’re right, it is good” he grumbled. “Why were you acting weird anyway?” You asked, noticing how uncomfortable he looked. You slipped your foot out of the boot when you realized why, and rubbed it against the bulge you knew was in his pants. “Stop it!” he growled as you laughed and slipped your foot back in your boot.

 You smirked, “aww hell yeah, I fed Bakugou Katsuki without dying and I teased him” you cheered

He shoved a spoon of coffee jelly in your mouth to shut you up. “Now were even, and not a fucking word about this to the others!” he told you. You just giggled and nodded, swallowing the coffee jelly. You went back to eating as you just realized you indirectly kissed him...twice. You shook your head to push the thought to the back of your mind and ate another spoonful of parfait. 

You finished your parfait quickly as Bakugou did with his treat too. You both stared at the milkshake until you decided to speak up. “So, we gonna share?” you asked handing him a straw and taking the other for yourself. You grinned at him, “Wanna do that thing when we share and drink at the same time?” 

He shrugged, trying to hide the fact his heart was pounding. You took the straw from the paper and stuck it in, mixing up the contents of the tall glass. You then brought licked the unmixed whipped cream that remained on the top part of the straw, leaving some milkshake on your cheek. 

He called your attention, “You have a little something there” he said and pointed to your cheek, you licked as far as you could tasting some on your tongue so you thought, you got it. 

“Is it gone?”

“Ugh, dumbass”  he groaned and reached to swipe the drink off your cheek

“Thanks” you mumbled, turning a bright shade of pink

“Oh, what happened to confident little Y/N? Does touching your cheek make you blush?” he mocked

“Shut up, idiot” you said and grabbed his straw and put it on the other side of the milkshake. “Let’s take the picture”

“We’re taking a picture?” he asked, “Hell no”

“But it’d be cuuuute” you whined

“Fuck off”

“Please?” 

“No”

You stayed silent, “fine” you pouted pushing the drink away from you

“UGH” he groaned, “FINE! I’ll do it. No pictures!” 

You smiled and pulled it to you slightly, leaning on the table as Bakugou did the same, trying to keep his eyes from your cleavage. You both took a few sips and he pulled away first. You pulled away after a few more sips, “See! Harmless” you stated and pulled the milkshake for just you to drink.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The milkshake was finished, you and Bakugou taking turns drinking from it. You looked at your watch, 4:03 pm. How the fuck were you supposed to distract him for 2 and a half more hours!? You payed for the treats you ate and stapped outside with Bakugou. 

“L’right, let’s go back now”

“NO!” you yelled unintentionally He looked at you with an eyebrow raised.

“I-I mean, uhh let’s go somewhere else”

“No, I’m tired”

“But I wanna go shopping” you said reluctantly, though you hated shopping

“No you don’t”

You sighed, “Yeah no I don’t...  But I wanna train”

“I already did earlier, plus you can’t train after we just ate”

You sighed and looked around for a distraction as he started walking away. “Wait!” you turned to your last resort

He looked back at you, “What?’

“Uh, um... I like you” You said quietly, but loud enough for him to hear. 

He chuckled, “After today it’s pretty obvious”

You scowled, “Shut up”

“I like you too dumbass, ‘s why the dumbasses promised me a date with you”

You realized why he agreed to go with you and your eyes met with him. “You said you were tired, right?” 

He nodded and you smiled, “Come” you said and grabbed his wrist once again. You led him to some woods and found a familiar trail of red carnations (that symbolize love, pride and admiration) that you followed, dragging Bakugou along. You reached a part of the woods that was just a big open space. It was full of flowers of all kinds, sizes, and colors. You let go and ran to the middle of it. He slowly walked to you as you giggled at the tumble you took. You saw him and pulled him down, a bed of daisies grew fast enough to catch him. He shook the shock out of him as you talked, “Daisies convey loyal love or could also be used to symbolize ‘I will never tell’ so this place is our little secret” you said.

He nodded and took in your features, your bright eyes, smooth hair, and perfect smile. You flipped over and looked at the sky, your face, relaxed and calm. “When no one knows about it, it stays quiet and peaceful, kinda weird bringing you here” you chuckled

He looked at the sky and put an arm behind his head, his other hand moving down to intertwine your fingers with his. “So, what’s up with this place? How’d you find it?” he asked quietly

“An old woman used to live in a house here and she was an old friend of my grandma. She allowed to come here and told me that when she passed away not to use the house since it was dirty, dusty, and full of pollen so she just told me to bury it in the soil and expand her beloved garden. So I did” you breathed out with a smile

He smiled when he looked at you and you met his eyes. “Wanna do something cool?”

He smiled, “Sure” and sat up. You didn’t stand up though, “You don’t need to move, I think there’s one here” you said referring to one of the tulip seeds you planted everywhere. You pressed your palm to the ground and activated your quirk

The ground rumbled as a huge tulip grew from underneath you. You laughed excitedly as it lifted you and Bakugou up, resting you two inside its halfway open petals. You rested against each other, your torso fell on his chest as he leaned back on a soft but firm petal. Your laughs softened as you got comfortable on his chest. He wrapped an arm around you and closed his eyes, allowing you to gaze at him and stealthily set an alarm for 6 o’clock. Soon you dozed off too.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The alarm sounded loudly, waking you and Bakugou, the latter groaning and moving to stretch. “Sorry, sorry” you said, voice croaky from the nap, turning th alarm off and getting up. You rubbed your eyes, getting used to the light of the setting sun. Shaking Bakugou awake you suggested to get back before it gets dark and hard to get out of the woods. He nodded while groggily getting up, you using your quirk to get the tulip to drop you two down on the soft grass. 

You shivered from the lower temperature and Bakugou took notice. He wrapped his jacket around you and you put your arms through the holes. The sleeves that only reached halfway through Bakugou’s forearm, reached past your wrists. He thought you looked adorable, being small and all, but the moment is ruined when you decided to mock him, “Wow, didn’t know the Katsuki Bakugou was a gentleman”

“Shut up before I take it back” he grumbled

“Okay, okay” you threw your hands up in surrender

“Also,” he started, “Call me Katsuki” he whispered

“What was that?” you asked, feigning innocence

“CALL ME KATSUKI GODDAMNIT”

“Hey, hey, no need to yell, Katsuki” you said, his name rolling off your tongue

“Shut up, let’s get going” he secretly did like hearing you say his name. But he hid it whilst tugging you to the direction of Heights Alliance. You laughed and held his hand, leaning onto his arm. The walk was nice and comfortable, the both of you at peace with one another.

You reached the dorms, forgetting about the surprise party as you walked in the dark building, still latching onto Bakugou’s arm. The lights were suddenly turned on, everyone jumping out of their hiding places. 

“SURPRISE!!” everyone froze on the spot, seeing you clinging onto Bakugou, wearing his jacket.

“BAKUGOU GOT A GIRLFRIEND!?” everyone erupted into cheers as you buried your face into Bakugou’s chest as everyone tried to pry information out of you.

[pasteljeon]

Do not tumble dry

Anonymous said: Since your box is open could you possibly do a scene where you meet yeontan, Holly and Mickey for poly BTS??? Thank u!!

Anonymous said: omg can u do a super fluffy fic with tanie?? Like he comes to live with you or something like that, thank you :D

Summary: A spa day for the Bangtan pets.

Pairing: OT7/Reader

Warnings: F L U F F; consumption may rot teeth

Length: 2.6k

Notes: I wrote this as part of the YNWA universe but it can be read separately. Reader is a lawyer and they’re in an established poly relationship. I also dunno what gender Jin’s sugar gliders are so I’m assuming they’re both male + pretend yeontan is still a baby shdshds

11/19 edit: this is just a repost since Tumblr screwed up my original one!

.

.

.

“Hyung is sad,” Jungkook says firmly when you pick up. Your eyebrows raise in surprise, your unconvinced hum giving away your skepticism as you leaf through documents.

“Which hyung, Kookie?” You ask, nodding your thanks at the file your assistant breezes in to drop off. “Because if this is another one of your tricks to get me to do something to Yoongi it’s not happening.”

“That was only one time!” He protests. “Plus you’re the one that agreed to it!”

“I was drunk,” you argue, leaning back and pinching the bridge of your nose as your temple throbs.

“Why are you still at work, ____? Aren’t you supposed to be resting?” Jimin’s voice comes chiming in worriedly in the background. You sigh, taking another sip of your warm honey lemon mix.

“I should,” you admit, closing your eyes. “I’m just tying up some loose ends from my last case. I’ll be home in an hour, promise.”

You know Jimin’s vying to protest so you change the subject quickly, “Which hyung is sad, Kook? Did something happen?”

“It’s Tae,” this time it’s Namjoon that replies.

You sit up instantly. “What’s wrong?”

But the leader is already amending his poor wording, “It’s nothing major, baby girl. It’s about Yeontan. He’s feeling down about not being able to be there for Tan since we’re gone so often and for so long. He’s thinking about giving him to his parents.”

You melt back into your seat. “Oh.”

“He’s just sulking now though,” Jungkook adds. Your head lolls to the side, blinking slowly as you stare at the dark cherry of your desk.

“Just give him to me,” you murmur tiredly. “I’m taking the week off anyway. He’s potty trained right? Maybe I’ll bring him to the office.”

“Really?!” You pull the phone from your ear in alarm at the eager shout. “Yay!! Thank you jagiya!”

“Don’t tell me,” you groan. “You guys planned this!”

There are a few sheepish chuckles and you growl, “Jeon Jungkook, you’re going to pay for this.”

An audible gulp.

.

.

.

The Pomeranian yips at you excitedly, scrabbling to escape Taehyung’s hold as he jumps down and circles your feet, barking.

“Don’t forget to—”

“Tae,” you cut him off, giving him a pointed look as you knelt to scoop up the puppy. “I’ll take care of him, okay?” You giggle when he licks you happily.

Taehyung falters, watching your interacting with a growing smile. “I’ll miss you,” he says, wrapping his arms around you, careful not to squish the fluff curled into your hold as he brushes a sweet kiss against your lips. “Both of you.”

“Don’t worry,” you whisper, pressing your forehead against his. “We’ll be right here, waiting for you.”

.

.

.

The first two weeks pass relatively quickly as you try to establish a routine with the growing pupper. Every morning, you wake to soft barks and wet licks moments before your alarm sounds.

Though all his equipment, toys and bed are set up in your living room, you didn’t like the idea of a fence, which was necessary at the dorms but not so much in your penthouse. Yeontan opted to take up station beside your head, leaping onto the bed every night and waiting for you to join him with gentle onyx eyes that remind you so much of his owner.

Just as you’re zipping up your sweater, Yeontan tugs on your jeans, nudging you toward the kitchen. You smile, knowing he’s reminding you to take your medication and to drink your customary cup of warm water before your day started.

You poured some kibble into his bowl before padding to the island kitchen to fix yourself a small breakfast.

“C’mon,” you say, bending to clip on his collar and leash, “Let’s take a walk!”

You swing by the café at the corner of the plaza, the morning peaceful as you bite into your croissant contentedly. You take a seat on the bench, legs swinging as you watch Yeontan tussle with the other dogs littered around the park.

“That one yours?” You look up, still chewing, to see a young man smiling down at you, motioning toward where the Pom is busy chasing a Border Collie.

“My boyfriend’s,” you say, flushing as you swallowed, dusting off the crumbs from your jacket. His smile wavers a moment, eyes flickering with fleeting disappointment.

“Ah, I see,” he says, stuffing his hands in his pockets. “It was just cute, that’s all. Just wanted to let you know.”

“He,” you correct him. “And yes, he is.” You turn to gaze at Yeontan who seems to have noticed you, barking loudly as he races toward you.

Yeontan skids to a step before you, a growl erupting low in his muzzle as he crowds you protectively. You’re taken aback, scratching between his ears as you reclip the leash. His eyes don’t leave the man who takes a step back.

“Err, nice meeting you,” he stammers, barely sparing you a weak smile as he scurries off.

You blink. “Weird guy,” you comment. Yeontan barks, already trotting away. You shrug, hurrying to catch up.

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The fourth week is when things go downhill in a sad, wet, dirty splash.

It rained the night before, leaving the park drenched and muddy. The walk starts off normal—Yeontan sniffing everything and everyone that passed, occasionally barking when a bird fluttered too close.

Five minutes later, you regret every decision you’ve made leading up to this moment.

You stare in disbelief, Yeontan sitting before you, tongue out and tail wagging, seemingly unbothered by the abundance of mud, dirt and leaves smeared on his once-glorious fur.

“Oh shit.”

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“Babe~” You answer with a grunt as you wrangle the whimpering pup into the tub, soothing him with quiet coos as you coaxed him in with treats.

“I’m home!” Several shouts echo through the complex, but you ignore them all as you focus on secure the wide-eyed Yeontan to the tub.

“Tan?” A sharp whistle has the Pom perking up, renewing his struggles and you sigh, ticking him beneath the chin as you murmur sweet nothings in an attempt to soothe the agitated dog that’s craning his neck to respond to his owner’s call.

“We’re in here guys!” You say in exasperation. The boys respond immediately, trampling toward your voice.

“___!” Hoseok beams. “Hi baby,” you say wearily, standing to give him a hug. He cradles you close, Namjoon leaning in to kiss one cheek, and Jin the other. Jungkook replaces him soon after, nuzzling your neck. Jimin presses his lips against your temple, Yoongi simply cocking his head, eyes crinkling as he takes your hand, squeezing lightly.

“Babe!” You sigh again, lifting your head to find Taehyung glancing between you and the puppy sitting obediently in the tub rapidly. “Were you—are you going to bathe him?”

“Yes,” you huff. “I don’t trust the groomers here to keep our secret.”

“But—but,” Taehyung sticks his lower lip out. “I can just take him to my regular groomer! I’ll just book an appointment.”

“Nuh uh,” you refuse. “I’m going to do it myself. You guys only have one day off this week and I’m not going to let it be ruined because of this.”

“Do you even know how to do this?” Namjoon asks doubtfully with a furrowed brow.

You smirk confidently, rolling up your sleeves. “Watch and learn boys. I worked as an assistant dog groomer for two summers.”

“You know what this means!” Hoseok exclaims, whipping out his phone. “No—” you start, panicked as even Yoongi brightens.

“Spa day!” Jungkook cheers.

Double shit.

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It takes seven individual, excited phone calls to organize an impromptu get together. Luckily (or unluckily?), Holly, Rapmon, Mickey and Gureum were all visiting for the weekend and Jin drove back to the dorm to pick up Odeng and Gukmul with a short detour to the store to grab some apple-scented shampoo, conditioner and combs.

“Rub it in firmly,” you coach from the side, legs crossed, watching a kneeling Taehyung squirt the watered down mixture onto a very wet Yeontan and begin lathering. The idol had insisted on doing it himself, curiosity winning him over as his excitement grew.

Odeng sits on your shoulder, munching on some obscure protein-shot insect. You try not to think too much on it.

Taehyung settles into the rhythm quickly, humming to himself as he rinses the Pom down and starts on the conditioner.

Holly comes padding in, sniffing your proffered hand and plopping right onto your lap.

“Why does he like you better than me?” Yoongi complains as he follows his dog, glaring balefully but without real bite at the Poodle, a gentle smile playing on his lips.

“Because I’m just that loveable,” you sing, petting Holly. He licks your cheek, stretching his forelegs out before resting his chin on them, eyes closing.

Yoongi rolls his eyes but doesn’t disagree, taking a seat behind you, legs bracketing yours as he buries his face in your neck, sighing.

“Noona!” Jungkook’s shriek has Holly raising his head and Odeng cuddling closer in fear. You coo softly, stroking the glider’s head with a finger.

“Kookie, you can’t be that loud!” You scold the maknae when he comes into view. Your hand claps over your mouth as you let out a snort.

“What happened?” You manage to squeak out as Yoongi chortles aloud.

“Mickey happened,” Jungkook cries, gesturing wildly at his shirt that’s now splattered with … something and smelling even worse.

“Gukmul was eating on my shoulder and Mickey came in barking super loud and trying to swipe at Gukmul and he got scared and squeezed the bug all over me!” The youngest wails, fanning himself in disgust.

“Oh babe,” you say sympathetically. You nudge Holly off slowly, the dog shaking himself off and trotting back to the living room. Yoongi snickers, hands up when Jungkook glowers at him. He gives you one last kiss before making after the Poodle.

Jungkook looks at you pleadingly. You stifle a giggle at his forlorn expression and tell him to take off his shirt.

“Now what, ___?” Taehyung calls, lifting up a dripping Yeontan that barks happily at the sight of you.

“Now you dry him,” you say, pointing at a vacuum-like machine you pulled from the closet. “Just dry him in the tub. Then you can use the fluffer and comb out the knots.”

Taehyung eyes the equipment doubtfully but does as he’s told. You turn to Jungkook. “Let’s get you cleaned up baby.”

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One long shower later, Jungkook sits between Holly and Rapmon, inhaling food like he hasn’t eaten in days.

“A black hole, that’s what he is,” Jin grumbles, shovelling another helping onto his plate.

“He’s a growing boy, let him live,” you laugh, kissing him in thanks as you take the plate he offers.

Hoseok tugs you onto his lap, and you nestle your head into the crook of his neck, balancing your meal on one hand as Gukmul climbs onto your shoulder from where he was fiddling restlessly on Jimin’s extended arm. The 95 liner is leaning against the couch, one leg propped up as he leans back, tracing figures on your exposed knee lazily.

“How does he look?” Taehyung bursts into the room, and you all look up to see him holding up Yeontan like the Lion King and the eager expression on his face combined with the dense mass of fur that’s bundled in his grasp has Yoongi cackling.

“Err, you’re supposed to brush out the tangles all the way, Tae,” you say, squinting. “Can he even breathe in there?”

“But I did!” The idol tilts his head to the side, confusion painting his voice. Yeontan gives a muffled bark.

You make a move to get up, but Hoseok’s grip tightens and Jin lets out an exasperated sigh. “Let us go child,” he says, ushering the still perplexed Taehyung back into the bathroom.

“They’re going to be there for a while,” Namjoon remarks as he flicks through the movie selections.

“Want to do something else in the meantime?” Jimin murmurs, hand sliding down to circle your ankle as he smiles at you innocently.

You blush but swat at him, scandalized. “Jimin,” you hiss, “Not with them here! They’d be scarred for life.”

“You’re right,” Yoongi says tragically. “Your screams had your neighbours moving out the next month.”

You squeak, kicking him lightly. He jostles, smirking as he catches your calf, resting it on his legs. “Yoongi!”

“Stop flirting right in front of my food,” Jungkook grouses, pouting as he stabs at a noodle. You turn to him, smiling at his adorable nature as you dust a gentle kiss onto his cheekbone.

Mickey chooses this moment to jump onto the maknae’s lap, nearly scattering the remains of his food. He circles for a moment before flopping down, closing his eyes. Jungkook scratches his ear tentatively, grinning when Mickey presses closer.

“___?” You sigh at Taehyung’s slightly panicked shout. Hoseok takes your plate, Yoongi and Jimin releasing their hold and you clamber over Namjoon.

“Start the movie, we probably won’t be done for a bit,” you inform them. Namjoon chuckles and Jimin takes your place on the couch, snagging the remote.

“Jimin, no. We are not going to watch Frozen for the seventh time—!”

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“I’m thinking about adopting that kitten,” Jimin tells you later, one arm thrown over your waist as he rests his head on your stomach. Gureum sleeps next to him, ears flicking slightly as he dreams.

“Go for it, hyung,” Jungkook murmurs sleepily from where he spoons you, breaths steady and ruffling your hair with every exhale. Mickey and Holly occupy opposite ends of the bed, ignoring the aghast look of their owners as they both sauntered past them and snuggled into your bed. It was Taehyung’s time to laugh, though it was cut off abruptly when Yeontan ran past him and pounced right onto your stomach.

Gukmul and Odeng are tucked back into their cage safely, though they’re still awake with the way they skitter around in it.

The bedroom is encased in a peaceful darkness, curtains drawn and blankets tucked in, though a faint light comes from the bathroom.

It blinds you for just a moment, bright even beneath your lashes, but the light is flicked off almost immediately after.

“Sorry,” Hoseok murmurs, kissing the corner of your eye as an apology. Yoongi thumbs your cheek, and you catch a flash of his gummy smile when you peek up at him.

The mattress dips as Namjoon, Jin and Taehyung join you. They each take turns kissing you goodnight.

“Sweet dreams baby,” Jin whispers as he closes the door behind them.

“I love you,” you mumble.

The creaking pauses.

“I love you too.”

Eyes now fully closed, you smile.