#and then going ‘I have such anxiety right now I’m being HARASSED’

[superblysubpar]

I Think I Only Want You, Under My Mistletoe:

modern!steve harrington x fem!reader

3.6k words

summary: Meeting The Harrington's, an office Christmas party, seeing Steve's big, hard d- Desk. Get your mind out of the gutter. // The prompts: [mistletoe] - a playful or romantic kiss under a mistletoe // [BEND OVER] - one muse bends the other over a table/couch/etc. 

warnings: THIS HAS BIG SPOILERS FOR MY SERIES WE’LL CALL IT LOVE ( #a we’ll call it love blurb // we’ll call it love masterlist) - this blurb takes place only a few short weeks after the end of chapter 5: Getting Older, and before the Epilogue. | slight description of reader worrying about her appearance/comparison and anxiety about what people think of it | slight angst with Harrington parent disapproval and judgement | alcohol consumption | SMUT: semi-public (steve's office) teasing, calling Steve Mr. Harrington and sir, illusions to unprotected PIV intercourse

day 1 of 12 days of superbly subpar writing // requested by @palmtreesx3 - thank you for requesting and continuing to encourage WCIL nonsense. Hope you love it babe! 💛

Steve: You found a dress right? You: Nah, I was thinking I’d just show up in my period sweats and that sweatshirt with the stain on it.  Steve: Honey, seriously, I need confirmation.  You: 🙄 You: yes steve. I got a dress. Relax. 

You tossed more popcorn in your mouth, trying to squash the nerves he wasn’t making any better by harassing you for the last week about the dress. 

Like it wasn’t enough to have a boyfriend after swearing off love. The boyfriend you now had after confessing all dramatic and movie-like that you were falling for the guy despite thinking he was engaged. The engagement he called off because of you, much to his parents' fury. The parents you were going to meet at this party. The party at the office he had just put his notice in to quit, again because of you. 

What was there to be nervous about?

The phone next to you lit up and Robin glanced at it, and you caught the name ‘Dingus’ as she  cleared her throat and locked it. Her voice strained to sound nonchalant. 

“Can I see what you’re wearing to the party tomorrow?”

An annoyed huff and strangled cry left your mouth. “That’s it! I’m not going! I’m not!”

You stomped to the kitchen and poured more of the white wine they brought as Nancy failed to cover her smile, coughing over her laugh. 

Robin sat up on her knees, green clay mask beginning to harden on her face, so only her bright blue eyes could convey her feelings. “Just let us see it so we can tell him he has nothing to worry about and he can relax.”

Your head shook, laughing despite being unamused. “Does he think I don’t know how to dress myself? Does he think I’m gonna actually show up in something disgusting? Does he think-”

“You haven’t met the Harrington's.” Robin interrupts, her voice far more serious than you cared for. 

Stomping off to the bathroom, you scrubbed the mask off your face, splashing cold water against your cheeks and tried to ignore the queasy feeling in your stomach. She’s right. You hadn’t met the Harrington's. You’d heard all about them, and you weren’t sure you’d like to meet them under normal circumstances, let alone these complicated, messy ones. 

“Are you-”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah!” You interrupted Robin’s call down the hallway, closing the door to your room and stared at the wine colored fabric with your arms crossed. 

Slipping it on with resentment and nausea fluttering throughout your body, you ran your hands over the velvet material, tilting your head to the side in the mirror as you exhaled. Turning on your heel before you could find all the ways you hated the dress you once were confident about, you stepped out of the room. Nancy and Robin’s mouths dropped in tandem when you stepped into the light of the living room. 

“What?” You squeaked, hands crossing and curling around your waist. “It’s bad? Is the slit okay? I thought…”

Robin started typing on her phone furiously and Nancy held up her hand as you trailed off, “You are so good. Furthest thing from bad. Don’t worry.”

Your shoulders released their tension, but the crease over your brows deepened as Robin smirked down at her phone. “What are you telling him?”

She hummed, “Don’t worry about it. Relax.”

Relax.

Easy for her to say. 

You: steven. You did NOT send a limo.  Steve: ��🏻‍♂️ You: you think you’re so cute, huh? Steve: I think *you* think I’m cute.

He clicked at his desktop more, glasses falling down the slope of his nose as he tried to finish work. He felt awful that not only were you nervous, but he was already here, you had to arrive alone, and he still hadn’t seen your dress. His phone vibrated and he looked down to see a picture of you, in the back of the limo, holding up an entire bottle of champagne just for you, and much to his dismay, a coat covering your dress.

You: you know what won’t be cute? When I down this entire bottle of champagne and puke from nerves all over your parents six thousand dollar shoes harrington Steve: they’ll buy new ones You: 🙄

He continued to work on his computer, people calling into his office and asking if he was coming downstairs to which he nodded and said soon to, until the lights started to turn off and it was just him. Hand running through his hair as he flipped back to his conversation with Robin last night.

Robin: DUDE Robin: You’re gonna go into cardiac arrest when you see her Steve: you’re not helping Robin: your mom will love her, you know she will Robin: Well, eventually. I did. Sort of. Steve: Again, NOT helping Robin: honestly your dad is gonna try to sleep with her Steve: you’re sick, you know that? Robin: The way she looks in this dress is sick steve Robin: ILLEGAL Robin: wow. You have wonderful taste in women Steve: YOU HAVE TO STOP 

Despite already having been to Steve’s office, the sight of it tonight still has your jaw going slack. When the limo stops and the door opens for you, the vast and towering skyscraper shimmering with snow swirling around it seems more intimidating than ever. As you push into the warm lobby, the two story Christmas tree steals your breath further. Decorated in golds, silvers, and crimson, two staircases curling on either side of it. 

You make your way up slowly, admiring the decor, hand gliding over the banister and reeling from the noise coming out of the transformed large ballroom. The space was used for a variety of events for the company, anywhere from big convention type conferences, parties, presentations and more. Steve had told you they’d put in a bar, a dance floor and stage, claiming this year’s Christmas party to be the biggest yet. 

Lucky you.

The room overflows out into the hallway with loud chatter, a jazz band playing familiar holiday songs. Boisterous laughter exploding each time the doors open and close, no doubt louder and more easily flowing from the contents inside the glasses you can hear clinking together and the pops of corks. 

You know you’re supposed to text Steve that you’re here, he said he’d come out and walk in with you, that he had been pulled in by his soon to be former boss. The thought of just going in by yourself is somehow easier though. Perhaps no one will even spare you a glance, not when you don’t have him next to you.

The room is even louder once you’re inside. The air smells like leather and cigars, champagne and scotch, stiff and overpowering floral perfume. It drips in luxury - mahogany tables, three Christmas trees, silver and gold candlesticks over burgundy table runners. 

Your feet carry you inside cautiously, and you spot the bar on the other side of the room and head towards it, ignoring the heat of strangers' stares. Feeling like every woman around you is eyeing you from head to toe, their judgment pushing up their chins and noses, rolling their eyes. Their dresses far more expensive and their makeup and hair done professionally. This was worse than the first time you went to Steve’s apartment. 

This was a big, big, massive mistake. 

When you make it to the bar, you order champagne that you can see already being prepped, hoping it’s comped or on the lower end, mentally preparing yourself for Steve insisting he’ll pay for it despite the zeros. The sharp bubbles slip over your tongue as you try to sip it slowly, eyes roaming over the crowd in search of Steve. 

“You look lost,” a deep voice comes from beside you. 

Turning, you find a man in a three piece navy suit that costs more than your rent. His hand holds a glass with three fingers of amber liquid over ice, a silver watch on his wrist that glints. His other is deep in his pocket, his posture nonchalant and lazy yet oozing with the confidence of a man who knows what he wants and how to get it. His jawline is familiar, clean and sharp, leading to soft brown eyes that roam over your face. He has two freckles next to his ear, and dark brown hair that’s just starting to gray. 

Your swallow is louder than the saxophone solo coming from the far end of the room as he removes his hand from his pocket, extends it to you, and says, “John.”

Fuck. 

“Mr. Harrington, it’s so nice to meet you,” your voice is calm, hand shaking his firmly while the inside of you screams, alarms inside your brain going off, shouting abort, abort, abort!

His lips twitch in a far too familiar way and he cocks his head, “Now, how do you know me and I don’t know you?”

You’re certain that everyone in this room knows who John Harrington is, and he knows it too. You squash the nerves inside of you, taking a deep breath. 

“Well, uh, Mr. Harrington-”

“Please, call me John.” He smiles, encouraging, and you nod, plastering on a bigger smile. 

“Right, Jo-John. I’m-”

“Honey, you don’t recognize her?” A softer, sweeter voice comes up behind him and her warm smile makes a little bit of your nerves disappear. That is until she says your name, and then:

“This is Steve’s friend.”

Friend. Friend. Friend. 

“Oh!” He snaps. “I forgot he decided to bring someone after all.”

Your lungs deflate, your stomach churns, you hear the way your heart cracks, chest aching from the pressure. 

Steve’s mom sticks out her hand, “Vivian.”

Introducing yourself far less confident, voice barely a murmur, cracking as you push out, “It’s really nice to meet both of you.”

“So,” John has a cigar in his mouth now, patting at his pockets for a lighter, frowning when Vivian takes it from between his lips, but he continues, “What do you do?”

“Oh, um,” you take a larger gulp of champagne before finishing, “I’m an assistant right now. But I hope to-”

“I’m sorry, what?” John interrupts you, his brows furrowed. Mrs. Harrington’s hand squeezes his bicep sharply, a smile plastered on her face. But he keeps going, “An assistant? How old are you? Your parents can’t be thrilled with-”

“Dad.” His voice is ice, a protective hand on the small of your back, appearing out of nowhere.  

You’ve heard Steve’s end of phone conversations with his dad, you’ve seen the way the people in this room acted just passing by him in the last few minutes, so you are shocked beyond belief when John Harrington closes his mouth at Steve’s singular warning. 

Vivian’s smile relaxes, her voice warm and syrupy, “Hi honey.” She hugs him and he only returns the gesture with one arm, the other keeping a firm grip on your waist as she pulls away and smiles, “We were just getting to know your friend-”

“Girlfriend,” he corrects quickly, strong, and nods at the bartender. You watch as the man behind the wood bar grabs a bottle from the very top shelf, pours two fingers, neat unlike his father, and Steve grabs the drink he didn’t have to order. Despite the last few moments, the tone and action has your thighs pushing together and you clear your throat as Steve’s thumb swipes over your spine. 

Vivian smiles, quietly correcting, “Right, girlfriend. She was just telling us what she does, right sweetheart?” Vivian pinches John’s arm again and he straightens, forcing a closed-lip smile. “So, an assistant, that’s…exciting?”

“I think we’re gonna go dance actually, we’ll talk to you later.” Steve’s voice leaves no room for argument. 

He starts to pull you away and you call over your shoulder, “It was nice meeting you.”

Steve pulls you through the crowd, his shoulders tense and the scotch tipped to his lips in one sip. He sets the empty glass on a passing tray, grabbing your champagne flute from your fingers as well. He stops in the shadow of one of the trees, his hands finding both of yours as he turns. 

“Honey, I think we have a real problem.”

Your heart and stomach drop even more, voice frail and small as you ask, “We do?”

He nods, face solemn, though his lips seem to be fighting a smile as sighs, “I’m afraid I can’t let you out of my sight all night in a dress like this.”

Relaxation floods over your veins, soothing your nerves as it feels like you finally exhale a breath you’ve been holding since last night. Still a little frazzled from the interaction, but a smile twitches your lips up slightly, forcing a light tone. 

“It’s okay? Up to the Harrington standards despite the girl inside it failing miserably?”

Steve hums, leaning in close, spice and stinging scotch on his breath as his nose traces yours. “I think the dress and the girl surpass all Harrington standards. They rearrange the meaning of the word babe.”

Your eyes roll, but your shoulders hunch again, hands smoothing over the lapels of his tux. “That’s a nice sentiment Mr. Harrington, but I think your parents would disagree on the matter.”

Steve’s eyes flash at the use of Mr. Harrington and your eyebrows raise, curious if it’s the authority of the name or the potential of you being a missus, but he’s too quick for you to investigate, bold and something in his eyes hungry. “Fuck my parents and their obnoxious standards. Every other person in this room wants to be you or be inside of you.”

“Steve.” Your head ducks at the forward compliment, “God, how much of that scotch have you had already?” 

“First glass.” His lips part, tongue licking over his top lip as he smirks, “I think you liked it though.”

“The comment or the way you ordered the drink?”

Steve, breathes into your lips as you tilt easily for him, mouth parting as he says, “Both.”

His hands press to your spine, a barely there kiss, when his name is called. He sighs, spinning to shake someone’s hand. The rest of the evening is spent with men clapping on his back and saying they’ll miss him. He holds your hand as he introduces you to co-workers he seems to genuinely like, flagging down servers and getting you glasses of champagne before they’re empty. Shushing you and kissing your temple when you ask how much it is. Maybe it’s the bubbles in your system, the pink flush to Steve’s cheeks when he stares at you, your name on his lips when he introduces you as his girlfriend, but the interaction with John and Vivian is long forgotten. 

All you can think about now, is how tonight has shown you a side of Steve you hadn’t seen before, and he looks good. He holds his drink that keeps being refilled without being ordered, slipping bills in waiters hands almost imperceptibly, their quiet ‘thank you Mr. Harrington.’ even more so if you weren’t listening. His suit is tailored to his body nicely, pieces of his hair falling over his forehead when he laughs in a charming and confident way. Steve is also handsy, and has been since he pulled you away from his parents. Squeezing your hip, running up your spine in the keyhole along it, pads of his fingers following the straps that hang off your shoulders back and forth, back and forth. Each touch of his skin to yours sparking like frayed wires. 

You excuse yourself quietly in the middle of a conversation about trading and something or other you can’t be bothered to listen to and Steve grabs your wrist, cocking his head in a silent question. You call out a little too loudly, maybe a little too flirty, “I’ll be right back, Mr. Harrington.”

The men around him smirk into their glasses and Steve watches you walk away, the color long gone from his eyes as his pupils take over. You feel the presence of his stare on your back as you make your way to the bar, only turning around when you have another glass in your hand. 

Steve’s still across the room, and you watch the path his eyes take over your body, heat rising to the surface of your skin in their trail like he’s physically touching you. He tracks you as you make your way to the exit, starting on your ankle, up your calf, then thigh. You’re almost able to feel his fingers sliding over the velvet, tracing the slit that exposes the skin. The cinch of merlot fabric on your hips and the way his hands would pause there and squeeze. You take another sip as they travel over the curve of your sweetheart neckline that shows off maybe a little too much. Tracing the path his lips could take over the straps, up your collarbones and neck, and they finally meet your eyes. 

His jaw is tight, tongue wetting his lips and gulping. His eyes narrow as you smile and you glance up at the familiar green holiday leaves hanging above the door, dropping your head and forming a fake pout. 

It takes Steve less than thirty seconds to cross the room, the now empty glass on a tray as he passes yet again, freeing his hands to grab onto your waist as he leans in. You let your bottom lip slip between the two of his, teasing and innocent. 

Steve groans as you bump the door open with your hip, letting your fingers linger on his chest, sighing, eyes wide, “Oh, I bet the view of the city is so beautiful on the 65th floor. You have a big, fancy office don’t you? Do you think I could see it, sir?”

He’s a man possessed. His mouth and hands haven’t stopped moving since the elevator closed. Clumsy lips and your name leaving him breathlessly as he pushed you into the railing as the floors climbed higher and higher. 

“Look too good, illegal, she was right,” he mouthed at your neck, slipping lower into your cleavage enough to make you laugh. 

“Wh-who was right?” 

He growled something that sounded like Robin’s name which made you laugh harder, stopping only when his mouth found yours. 

Steve shushed your giggles, leading you down the dark floor to the office at the corner, pulling the door closed and clicking the lock. 

A brown leather couch, gold lamps, a bookshelf and a cart full of bottles of fancy liquors and sparkling glasses. A giant, wood desk with a tall leather chair. A name plate that glinted and said Steve Harrington with a pair of wire rimmed glasses. 

You’d seen it before, but not on a night like tonight. Not with all the lights off, snow falling lazily across the skyline. Not with champagne in your system, not with your boyfriend. Your boyfriend who had confidence and charm, who commanded respect and attention. Who stood up to his parents for you, for what he wanted.

Steve stood behind you, hands on your hips again as he led you towards the desk. Sucking a bruise under your ear, tongue soothing the way his teeth scraped down your neck. He was wrecked, gone, could cum in his slacks right then and there with the view of you in his office in this dress. Would he miss being in charge at a place like this? Sure. But he had a feeling it wouldn’t be the last time he was a boss. 

His voice was strong, cinnamon and scotch on his breath as he commanded, “Bend over, baby.”

You laughed, arching over his desk slowly. Looking over your shoulder as you spread your legs and pouted, “Kind of bossy, Steve, not gonna even say please?”

Steve watched under heavy lids as you kept your gaze on his fingers moving over his buckle, the way your chest moved up and down quicker as he freed himself. He knelt behind you, pushing up the fabric of your dress. Kissing up your calves, your thighs, nipping at the curve of your ass and smirking when you yelped. 

He stood, hands landing on the desk on either side of yours, mouth a ghost over your ear, heaving chest pressed along your spine, and his hard erection pressing into your ass. 

“You think you’re cute, huh?”

A shiver ran through you at his tone, the way his breath hit your cheek and fingers overtook yours on the desk. 

You gasped out, parroting your conversation earlier, “I think you think I’m cute, Harrington.”

Steve’s nose skimmed the curve of your ear, tutting, “No more mister already? Where’d your manners go baby?”

He slid his tip against your clit, circles to it until your head fell forward in a gasp, slick coating his cock with barely anything to prompt it. 

Steve finally moved lower, his lips on your neck and his tip nudging at your entrance but pausing as he laughed, smirk pressed to your skin. “You are cute, though, honey. Prettiest,” he kissed your shoulder, “Sexiest,” a kiss below your ear, “Cutest thing here tonight.”

He kept his tip pressed to your entrance, waiting until your hips squirmed, till your fingers twitched below his. Breath warm on your jaw as he kept his voice even, confident, pulling himself back up to your clit and starting all over again as he spoke. 

“Know what’s even cuter though?”

You whimpered, head empty, nerves buzzing, and stomach burning as his lips brushed against your jaw with each word, head circling your clit and tapping again. 

“You’re about to be begging for me.”

[meazalykov]

wrong number

bayern munich frauen x reader

1/6, 2/6, 3/6, 4/6, 5/6, 6/6

"who are you, and why do you have my number?"

you've been preparing for this move for what feels like forever.

the idea of leaving your small hometown in virginia to live in munich is both exciting and terrifying. you’ve spent weeks packing your things, saying goodbyes, and trying to mentally prepare yourself for the massive change that’s about to happen. 

sure, you’ve dreamed about studying abroad for a long time. now that it’s here, the reality of it feels overwhelming.

you’re going to be thousands of miles away from home, from everything you’ve ever known. your family is supportive, and your friends have been hyping you up nonstop. yasmeen, your closest friend, has been particularly great about helping you stay grounded, always there to distract you from the “what ifs” when the anxiety gets a little too intense. 

today is one of those days.

the two of you had planned a mall trip—something normal and fun before the whirlwind of final packing and travel arrangements takes over. well, yasmeen says that you need a new closet for munich and you don’t disagree.

it feels good to be doing something so ordinary, especially when you know that soon enough, everything in your life is about to be not-so-ordinary. 

you’ve been to this mall a hundred times with yasmeen, today feels a little more special though. maybe it’s because you’re hyperaware that you won’t have moments like these once you’re in germany.

will you make friends in germany? what if germany turns out horribly? are the people nice? is there xenophobia you might experience due to yourself being american? these thoughts plagued the back of your mind. 

"you’re gonna miss me so much, you know that, right?" yasmeen teases as the two of you walk through the mall’s food court, eyeing the chick-fil-a counter but opting for chipotle instead.

you roll your eyes playfully, nudging her with your elbow with the arm that's carrying your aritzia bag. 

"i’ll miss your constant harassment, that’s for sure."

"constant harassment? i’m literally the best thing that ever happened to you!"

"okay, sure," you laugh. 

honestly, yasmeen has been a huge part of your life for the past few years. she was the first person you clicked with back in high school, and now it feels weird to think about going through the next few years without her by your side. 

you’re trying not to dwell on it, though. you’ll still have facetime, you tell yourself. 

after grabbing and eating your rice bowls, you both head toward the stores. it’s one of those days where everything feels easy—there’s no pressure to buy anything. you did though obviously.

at one point, yasmeen holds up a bright red kit with a smirk.

"ouu a bayern munich kittt. you should totally buy it, you will fit in with the munich community."

you tilt your head, laughing. 

"what is that? i don’t even watch soccer."

"woah! you better once you hit germany– i heard soccer to them is like how the nfl is to americans."

you shake your head but decide to try it on anyway. yasmeen snaps a photo and tells you that you look like you’re about to cheer for some random german soccer team. 

you don’t think much of it and put the jersey back, moving on to the next store.

as the day goes on, you feel a strange mix of contentment and anticipation. it’s nice being here, with your best friend, doing normal things, but there’s a part of you that’s itching to start this next chapter of your life. 

it’s like you’re stuck in this weird limbo between your old life and the new one that’s waiting for you on the other side of the world.

eventually, after several hours of shopping, you realize your phone had died. you don’t even remember when it happened. 

you’ve been so caught up in the moment with yasmeen that you didn’t notice the battery draining.

"ugh, my phone’s dead," you say, glancing at the blank screen.

yasmeen shrugs. 

"mine’s still good. if anything, i can call you an uber."

"nah, i’m good. i’ll just charge it when i get home."

you both grab shoes at birkenstock before say your goodbyes outside the mall. yasmeen gives you an extra tight hug. 

"don’t get caught up with your european friends and forgetting about me, okay?"

"never," you promise.

when you get home, you immediately plug your phone into the charger and head straight to the shower. 

the hot water feels good against your skin, washing away the stress of the day. you’ve got so much on your mind—packing, travel plans, what your life is going to look like in a few weeks—but right now, standing under the stream of water, you feel calm. 

you let your thoughts drift away and focus on the simple rhythm of the water hitting your shoulders.

when you finally get out of the shower, you feel refreshed, like maybe you can tackle all the things on your to-do list without getting overwhelmed.

when you grab your phone and take it off of your charger, you notice something strange. 

it’s blowing up with notifications. you squint at the screen, trying to make sense of what’s happening. 

there’s a new group chat, and it’s filled with numbers you don’t recognize.

confused, you open the messages. the chat is already deep into a conversation about something, but none of it makes sense to you.

+49 176 1234567: pernille you’re AMAZING wtf was that!!!!????? 

+49 171 7654321: arsenals defense during this match had nothing on you or syd holy shit

your brows furrow. arsenal? match? what are they talking about? you know absolutely nothing about this conversation. 

hell, you’re not even sure what country arsenal plays for. the confusion only grows as you scroll up to see more of the conversation.

you: hi?

almost immediately, your message is met with a flood of responses.

+49 171 7654321: giulia! finally! where have you been?

+49 178 1233567: we’ve been trying to reach all day, i know we had no training but are you okay?

your heart skips a beat. giulia? who the hell is giulia? you’ve definitely never gone by that name.

you: uh, i think you’ve got the wrong number. i’m not giulia.

for a moment, the chat goes silent. you stare at your phone, wondering if you should just leave the group.

before you can, a new message pops up.

+49 176 1234567: wait, what?

+49 171 7654321: did we add the wrong number again?

+49 171 11122222: sydney, you’re an idiot. you added the wrong number!

there’s a pause before a new number is added to the group.

+49 152 3334444: you guys finally added me.

you assume this is the real giulia. still, no one seems to be kicking you out of the chat, and before you know it, the conversation picks up again.

+49 176 1234567: giulia, you missed our whole debate about the arsenal match.

+49 171 7654321: yeah, and we were saying bayern needs to keep it up for juventus.

you stare at your phone, more confused than ever. arsenal, bayern… these are clearly soccer teams, but why are they talking to you? you don’t even watch soccer. eventually, you decide to chime in.

you: um?? i have no idea what any of you are talking about. 

this time, the chat explodes with messages.

+49 171 7654321: what?!

+49 176 1234567: how do you not know bayern munich?

+49 175 7778888: do you watch fusball? 

+49 171 1112222: okay, who are you?

+44 177 9900000: ok guys that makes me feel better about this not being a crazy fan.

+49 170 4479173: i agree with georgia 

you explain your situation—that you’re a 21-year-old college student from virginia, and you somehow got added to this group chat by mistake. 

you tell them about your upcoming move to munich for your study abroad program, hoping to clear up the confusion.

+49 152 3334444: wait… you’re moving to munich? like… munich, germany?

+49 171 7654321: that’s insane omg we all live in munich.

+44 171 9900000: wtffff 

+49 176 1234567: this is such a weird coincidence.

you blink at your screen. this is getting stranger by the second. what are the odds that you’d get added to a random group chat full of people who live in the exact city you’re about to move to?

+49 171 1112222: okay, but how do we know you’re not some creepy dude pretending to be a girl?

+49 172 4567389: LMAO LENA 

+57 170 9193831: wait… 

you roll your eyes at the suspicion but understand why they might be cautious. so, you send them your instagram handle to prove you’re real. 

you: ew, i am not some old dude. @ y/n.l/n is my insta, just me out for yourselves.

after a few minutes, messages start pouring in again.

+49 152 3334444: yep, she’s legit.

+49 176 1234567: okay, cool. she seems sweet.

+49 171 9718193: guys laura would love her photography skills

you: who’s laura

+49 171 9900000: someone from the german national team. she plays in frankfurt

+44 177 9900000: this is so cool idky why.. usually i’d be freaked out

a few new followers pop up on your instagram notifications, and you open the app to check. you almost drop your phone when you see that some of the accounts following you are verified. 

*sydneylohmann is now following you*

and another 

*georgiastanway is now following you* 

*tuvahansen is now following you* 

and more.. 

*leaschuller is now following you* 

*lenaoberdorf is now following you* 

*kathi.ng is now following you* 

*pharder10 is now following you*

*guzman013_ is now following you* 

*sarahzadrazil25 is now following you* 

now it seems like the whole team is catching on.. 

*buehlklara is now following you* 

*magdalenaeriksson26 is now following you* 

*magou_doucoure is now following you* 

*dahmannlinda is now following you* 

it's until you do a quick google search that you realize who they are.

they’re professional soccer players.

you sit there, staring at your phone, completely in shock. you’ve somehow stumbled into a group chat full of actual women’s soccer players. 

trying to play it cool, you decide to treat them like normal people.

after all, you don’t even know anything about soccer, so it’s not like you’re going to fan out over them.

you: so, what are your names? i want to save your numbers because all of the unsaved numbers are overwhelming haha 

they go around introducing themselves, and you quickly type their names into your phone, saving each number under the name they give you.

+49 152 3334444: i’m giulia

+49 171 7654321: sydney

+44 177 9900000: georgia s 

+49 179 7777777: lea 

+57 170 9193831: ana g. there’s two ana’s so i’d add the last name letter to tell the difference 💜

it’s surreal, somehow you find yourself chatting with them like they’re any other group of girls you’d meet in a random group chat. 

they even start to warm up to you after a few days, especially after you tell them more about your move to munich. 

a few of them offer to show you around the city once you get there.

georgia: honestly, munich’s great. you’re going to love it.

sydney: we can help you find all the best spots.

lena: i can definitely ☺️

lea: lena you just moved here from wolfsburg.. 

lena: lea shushhhh 🙄

pernille: ??? 

you smile at your phone, feeling a little less nervous about the move. it’s strange, but you’re actually starting to look forward to meeting these girls in person. 

sure, they’re professional soccer players, but they’re also just… normal people. and they seem to like you.

as the chat continues, you get the sense that they trust you. maybe it’s because of your instagram or the way you’ve been honest with them from the start, but whatever it is, they don’t seem to mind that you accidentally got added to their group. 

in fact, they seem to enjoy having you around.

klara: you seem chill. i know its been a week since you’ve been added but do you promise to keep our secrets safe? 

lena: ^

you: i promise. i like you guys! 

it’s not every day you accidentally make friends with a group of famous athletes, but somehow, that’s exactly what’s happened. 

as strange as it is, you’re kind of excited about it.

part two here

[yoonvvs]

✧ ⠀.·:*¨¨*:·. BUT I PROMISE YOU THIS, ILL ALWAYS LOOK AFTER YOU

BLAISE & SKZ

BLAISE & BANG CHAN !

now playing > saturday nights ( khalid )

blaise & chan have such a sweet friendship. chan is so so so tolerant and patient with blaise, regardless of if she’s joking around with him, full of energy or full of anxiety. chan would 100% go to the moon and back for blaise - blaise knows whenever she gets in a sticky situation, she can run to chan and he will find a way to make the situation all better, after he scolds her for her poor decisions. she knows she can tell him anything - and he knows everything, more than anyone, even her parents - and even though it took awhile, chan knows he can tell blaise anything too, and he does. they care for each other so much.

she’s chan’s passenger princess, he’s the only member that refuses to let her be the driver when they go places together - not that chan thinks blaise is a bad driver, but he much rather not fear for his and hers life in the passenger seat when he can do it in the drivers seat. but blaise mastered being a passenger, she always has the ac on the right temp, great at giving directions and keeps the vibes good with the music! best and most chill duo!

BLAISE & MINHO !

now playing > hits different ( taylor swift )

blaise & minho are constantly on the same brain length - the amount of times they texted each other basically the same thing is unreal - causing stays to call them the “twins”. despite this, they are pretty much polar opposites, for example, to tease one another minho likes to “threaten”, while blaise likes to get overly affectionate and harass him, like “oh, you’re just mad because you think im pretty!” but they get along so well!!! always hanging out! fans also often call them tom & jerry because they are always teasing each other and have chaotic antics. there’s a literal compilation of blaise & minho chasing each other around for stupid reasons.

despite their chaos, minho is the one who gives blaise the most princess treatment. he’s always making sure she’s warm (although he might pretend to be annoyed, “blaise, stop shivering you’re making me dizzy! i’m going to make you run laps to keep you warm!” while taking his hoodie off and giving it to her), he lets her use him as a pillow if she gets sleepy, and always makes sure she has a blanket to cover up with on award shows. the glares he gives staff if she doesn’t have a blanket or is wearing uncomfortable clothes is so scary…he also loves to secretly buy her gifts and just leave it by her door, leaving no note. but blaise knows it’s from him and subtly shows her appreciation in small ways <3

BLAISE & CHANGBIN !

now playing > OMG ( new jeans )

vibes

blaise is a #1 changbin supporter, she looks up to him SO MUCH. she loves his confidence, his humor, and the amount of skill he has. she’s always trying to do his raps, and whenever she does it well SHES SO PROUD OF HERSELF! and so is changbin, he’s like “ i taught her well ☺️ ”. changbin loves that she looks up to him so much, it makes his heart so full knowing that he can be a good example for someone, esp his members! he is lovey dovey towards blaise, always giving her hugs and complimenting her, he’s always poking her cheeks and cheering her on!

changbin also likes to try to take her to the gym, and while blaise likes working out - she does not like to do changbin’s routine. she wants to match his energy…but she is not on his level ( yet ), so they pretty much just go to the gym together…then go their own ways. but besides that, they are such an adorable pairing to watch! their vlives are always so precious, and they are always laughing or giggling. stays love their vibes so much!

BLAISE & HYUNJIN !

now playing > i hope ur miserable until ur dead ( nessa barrett ) | yes, i’m changing ( tame impala )

blaise & hyunjin have a…complicated relationship. pre-debut, before anything happened, they were inseparable. they were always seen together, and they could always find excuses to spend together, pretending like they were “practicing”, while they were just hanging out. when they debuted, they quickly caught feelings for each other. they couldn’t help but fall in love through all of the chaos. fast forward a couple months later, they were dating in secert, eventually coming clean when seungmin caught them kissing…everything was going good - they were happy and in love, until hyunjin did the unforgivable and cheated on her.

for awhile, they could not stand each other, they couldn’t even breathe the same air without getting upset. they were angry, heartbroken, and petty for months. but eventually, hyunjin & blaise cooled down. hyunjin apologized, and promise he’d be better. it was genuine, he stopped being inconsiderate, and put himself in blaise’s shoes. after multiple, long, conversations, they started to heal their friendship. they aren’t back to being best friends, but they’re happy to call each other friends. now, they go on coffee trips, watch movies together, and can now have a peaceful and kind time together! they won’t ever get back to where they were again, but things are better now!

BLAISE & JISUNG !

now playing > the spins ( mac miller & empire of the sun )

the vibes only ok

BESTIES FROM DAY 1! jisung was blaise’s first friend from skz, they both joined the company around the same time, and were paired up together for their first evaluation (as well as other trainees), they showcased fly by got7! out of all the trainees they were paired with in the group, blaise & jisung got the closest. the other two trainees in the group were very rude to blaise, and jisung immediately stuck up for her, without even knowing her! after seeing his kindness, she knew immediately that they had to be friends :)

now, blaise & jisung are SO iconic, the comedic duo we all need! they always match each others craziness, and will never let one be alone in being weird. will constantly bicker like siblings, and are not scared to insult each other with no shame. minho posted a video of them wrestling each other on the beach on his insta, and later shared part two of jisung throwing blaise into the ocean like a menace 😁. blaise couldn’t let stays admire jisung’s strength for long, because she posted the video of her dragging jisung’s ass into the ocean on her own story later! utter chaos.

BLAISE & FELIX !

now playing > birds of a feather ( billie ellish )

blaise is protecting felix WITH HER LIFE! if felix is every getting a penalty and has to do something gross or just something felix is not excited to do, blaise is immediately getting up and doing it with him. she’s his literal “if you go down, we go down together” best friend. blaise also brings out felix’s impulsive side - whenever blaise & felix are together you know you’re going to have a good time.

felix also adores blaise SO MUCH. whenever blaise is off, felix immediately notices and silently tries to make her feel better, like getting her water or food, he’s the first to notice when she’s about to get hangry. that boy always makes sure she’s well fed, or else he knows they are all going to pay for it later 😀. he learned to braid hair for blaise! when they first became friends, he started practicing on her hair, and now he is so good at it! blaise always lets him do her hair whenever he wants to, she loves it so much!

BLAISE & SEUNGMIN !

now playing > best friend ( laufey )

blaise & seungmin are almost always giving each other a hard time, but it’s out of love everytime! somehow, they manage to compliment each other and insult each other all in one sentence, but they know it’s all jokes. stays love their pairing, because they are literally the yapper ( blaise ), and the listener ( seungmin ). blaise will be talking and telling stories, while seungmin is like “why is there a bug buzzing in here”, but he loves to listen to blaise even if he acts like he doesn’t.

they are literal siblings, felix & blaise are the expectation of siblings while seungmin & blaise are the reality. sometimes he just stands in her room and looks at her, giggling and running away when she finally gets annoyed. blaise always gets him back by pranking him in some way, her favorite thing to do is to knock on his door and then run away, finally revealing herself when seungmin gets frustrated. he falls for it everytime. despite their fun & games, they will always make sure they never go too far, and will check in on each other in their own ways, for example, blaise loves to bribe seungmin in running errands with her, when in reality she just wants to take him to lunch!! and she always wins in paying, but seungmin won’t give up until he gets to pay.

BLAISE & JEONGIN !

now playing > sit next to me ( foster the people )

jeongin is the human version of blaise’s impulsive thoughts. this man will encourage her to do anything, just so he can watch and laugh (and later make fun of her). she wants to spend all her money at the mall even though she’s trying to save? jeongin is giving her a long list of reasons to do it. that being said, jeongin and blaise have had countless of chaotic memories together. blaise wants to do something, and jeongin is like “let’s do it!” esp after he became legal and could drink ( blaise’s parents didn’t see this )

jeongin can always make her smile - whenever she’s having a hard time, she’s knocking on jeongin’s door, and sits on his floor - all jeongin needs is a look from her, and he’s turning on their playlist, grabbing a blanket, and sitting on the floor with her. and they will just talk, for hours, and whenever jeongin needs her, she will do the same exact thing. when things got really bad with blaise ( mental health ) jeongin was there to drag her out of the bed and pretty much forced her to live. jeongin & blaise are each other’s soul friends!

[yourfatherlucifer]

Our Aurora : Chapter 2

Poly!Ot8!Ateez x Afab/Female!Reader

Summary: Attending university with your eight boyfriends wasn’t easy, neither was sharing a mansion with them.

Warnings: MDNI, this mini series includes tons of smut, slight violence, protective ateez, poly relationship, established relationship, mentions of mxm, choking, other smut themes.

bullying and violence for this chapter.

WC: 1.5k

AU: University

Genre: Smut/fluff

Nets: @newworldnet

Tags: @deltamoon666 @watermelon2319 @justconniez @a-teez-4-exo @mingtinysworld @certifiedmoa @kittkat44 @sanhwalvr @spenceatiny18 @vtyb23 @sousydive @haebaragisworld @yourallaround-simp @therealcuppicake @ja3hwa (please make sure I can tag you in your settings)

SERIES MASTERLIST

The morning sun beamed in your eyes, you tried to move away from the direct sunlight but strong arms held you back from moving. When you opened your eyes you saw that it was Mingi holding you.

Right, he fell asleep with you after your bath last night. You turned your head to look at his sleeping face. He was at peace.

He was happier these days, happier than ever. More than he was when he had met you. Mingi was at his lowest then, his heart was aching. His brain was telling him horrible things. He was the epitome of depression and anxiety.

High school was hard, but to him, it was pure hell. Even as a big guy, he was still bullied, he was in pain. He had no one. He had no friends. You’d see him in the halls, he was cute to you. Very cute. Mingi had always worn headphones to block out the other kids.

You never liked your friend group, they were the other rich kids that sort of pulled you with them everywhere just because you were richer. However, they participated in harassing the poor boy. You wanted to stop them but didn’t know what to do.

Until one day, you were trapped in a thunderstorm outside because your ride got caught in the weather. Mingi had been rushing through the storm, clearly crying. He wasn’t watching where he was going and had slipped near you, taking you to the ground with him.

He gasped and scrambled to get off of you, his clothes were sticking to yours because of the rain. You could see the pain in his face, the panic as well. But what you noticed was the black eye. The huge swelling. It angered you. Your so-called friends went too far.

“I’m sorry!” He yelled out over the storm.

You shook your head, “Mingi, please, don’t apologize.”

He froze in his movements, “H..how do you know my name?” He felt the happiness bubbling within him. Someone knew him.

Your ride had finally pulled up, “It doesn’t matter, for now, I’m giving you a ride home,” you crawled from beneath him and pulled him up, which was hard, “Get in, please.”

He stammered over his words but followed you into the backseat, “Thank you..”

-

When you had pulled up to his home, he had realized his family wasn’t home. Typical. They always left him alone, by himself.

“Oh, um..”

You shook your head, “Doesn’t matter, I’ll just take you to my home, my parents are on vacation so I’ll take care of you, okay?”

Mingi’s heart fluttered, however he was terrified. He didn’t know if you were being genuine or if you were gonna trick him.

He sat in silence, fiddling with his ruined headphones, they looked like they were purposely ripped and broken.

“Mingi, did..did they do this to you?” Your eyebrows furrowed in concern. You just knew you’d teach those kids a lesson. They weren’t your friends. How dare they harm someone as sweet as Song Mingi? He never hurt anyone.

His head snapped to face you, “What? No. I-“

“Don’t lie to me.”

“Yeah..they did this. They always do. This is my third pair of headphones this month.” You could see the pure sorrow in his eyes.

Your fingers clenched in anger, “I see.”

When the car pulled into the mansion's front lawn, your driver stepped out of his seat and opened your door for you, “Miss, welcome home. I’ve already let the household staff know about your companion, they have fresh clothes for him.”

“Thank you, Hyunwoo.” You smiled, taking Mingi’s hand to bring him inside. He was so glad his eyes were still puffy from crying, else you would’ve seen his red face.

Never has he had someone care about him so much. He couldn’t help but fall in love. It didn’t help that he already had a crush on you.

Your staff greeted you inside, rushing to help you out of your wet clothes, “Guys, I’ve got it.” You laughed, “Just bring the fresh clothes to my room, I’m gonna get him comfortable.”

You trudged up the stairs, taking the large man with you, “Don’t worry about my staff, my parents like to spoil me too much, they have staff to take care of me when I’m alone. I’m almost 18, you’d think they know I can take care of myself.”

Mingi gave you a small smile, “It’s okay..I may not be used to this, but it’s alright.”

As you pulled him into your room with a smile, “The bathroom is over there, go ahead and get undressed, I’ll bring you fresh clothes. My staff will wash and dry those for you.”

He shyly pulled away from your hand and entered the bathroom, shutting the door behind him. He stood there in confusion. Just how did he get here? With the prettiest girl in his school. He didn’t know she’d be this nice and caring, how could she hang out with such horrible people? He wondered.

You went through your closet and changed into warm pajamas, you’d had to wait to blow dry your hair since Mingi was in the bathroom.

One of your maids knocked on the door and came in, “Here you go, Miss. your companions clothes. Henry was the only one who seemed to have clothes that would possibly fit that boy.” She passed off the clothes to you.

“Thank you. You can go now.” You smiled as she left.

You knocked on the door and Mingi slowly opened the door, peeking his head out, “Thank you.” He took the clothes from you.

You could see a bit of his chest and it looked bad, there were new bruises and healing bruises.

You sighed, they must’ve pushed him over and kicked him. They were gonna pay for this. You didn’t care if Mingi would hate you for taking this into your hands. You just couldn’t stand by while they hurt someone. What if they took it too far and killed him? No, you couldn’t allow it.

He closed the door and put on his new clothes. Just a plain shirt and sweatpants.

“Would you like to stay the night, Mingi? I have several guest rooms if you’d like. I’m sure you don’t want to be alone.” You suggested with a smile from the other side of the door.

Mingi opened the door with a puppy-like smile, he was beginning to feel safe around you.

“Thank you, for everything, Y/N. You’ve been nothing but nice to me and I don’t know how to thank you.” Mingi stared down at his feet.

You stepped up to him, reaching out for his large hand, “It’s okay, there’s no need to thank me. You don’t deserve any of this.

You brought him to your bed and sat down, “Why don’t you get some rest, I’ll go make you something to eat, okay?”

He nodded with a small smile, “Okay.”

-

As days passed, the two of you got closer. He was becoming your one and only friend and you didn’t mind. He managed to avoid his bullies with you around, but one day you weren’t.

You had hurt shouts in the school's courtyard and found a crowd.

Oh no.

You could hear Mingi’s cries for help as no one did anything, they only recorded and laughed.

You were pissed. You threw your bag down and rushed into the crowd. Finding his group of bullies. All you could see was red. Your fist collided with someone’s jaw. This person was kicking Mingi.

“Fuck off of him!” You shouted.

The crowd went silent as your fist repeatedly bashed into the kids face, his nose was bleeding bad but you didn’t care. He hurt Mingi.

“Y/N, please.” Mingi cried out for you, the bullies already leaving his side to take care of you. But you weren’t having it.

You fought them off with everything you had.

Your fists were hurting, they were covered in blood but you didn’t care whose it was.

From that day forward, no one fucked with you or Mingi. The school didn’t even bother doing anything because your parents were their biggest sponsor.

On the day of your graduation, you had asked Mingi out and he was ecstatic. He was becoming a man. He vowed from the day you saved him that he wouldn’t stop at nothing to protect you.

You had kissed him on the stage and flicked everyone off, a final fuck off to the horrible school you two were leaving.

As the memory faded from your brain, you turned to look at the sleeping Mingi.

You were so glad for the day you met him. He called you his princess yet he was yours. He was the true princess.

“Y/N?” He stirred awake.

“Yes, Mingi?”

“I’m hungry, princess.” His stomach grumbled just right after his words and you both laughed.

“Then let’s go get something to eat, I’m sure the others are home and would like to eat as well.” You just knew Wooyoung would want to cook for you, especially since you were sure they all knew what happened with Hongjoong fucking you so hard.

Together, you left to go downstairs, happily and in love.

[wonsdoll]

A STONER’S GUIDE TO GET THE GIRL › LHS

TIP 4: don’t go back to the old ways

the music was loud throughout the whole house, vibrating under heeseung’s foot as he walked inside. the air was thick of alcohol and a mix of weed, something heeseung was trying to stay away from. it was jake’s huge party, beomgyu and sunghoon knew they needed heeseung to forget you for one night and have fun. although jake was another close friend, he was also heeseung’s plug.

as heeseung tries to get through the crowd, he spots you in the corner. he took a few seconds to admire you, your short black dress, every inch of your legs visible, your curves and the way your dress hugged your body.

his heart skipped nearly a few beats when he takes note of your laughing. heeseung watches your nervous laughter, instantly making his guts twist. it wasn’t until he noticed the individuals hand meet your waist, attempting to pull you closer and get more handsy.

heeseung’s fists clench, this guy was clearly bothering you. his opportunity to forget about you was pushed away, now being faced with anger. heeseung makes his way through the crowd, his heart pounding in his chest.

“hey back off.” heeseung’s voice is firm, he steps between you and the guy. the individual is filled with confusion, he swung his beer bottle, taking a large gulp.

“i’ll be back for you just wait.” the guy mumbles, stumbling away.

you look at heeseung, full of relief and gratitude. “thank you..” your voice trembles slightly, trying to realize what happened.

heeseung nods, trying to mask his own anxiety. he was unaware of how close you were to him, the closest you’ve been since the breakup. heeseung’s nerves are on edge, and he knows he’s not in the best state of mind, emotionally. “no problem..just—just stay safe okay?”

you nod, watching him walk away and walk towards sunghoon and beomgyu. heeseung manages to catch his breath, inhaling a few times.

“woah are you okay?” beomgyu looks at you, cracking open a beer for jake.

“yeah i’m good.. y/n was getting harassed by some drunk guy..” heeseung manages to say in between inhales.

“did you save her?” sunghoon asks, offering him a beer. he takes the beer from his hand and begun chugging it.

“i did..” he mumbled, reaching out for another beer.

throughout the night, heeseung and a few of his friends consumed over 5 packages of beer, leaving them all intoxicated. this feeling of intoxicated made his memory replay from the night of his breakup.

he sat back on the couch, meanwhile everyone else was knocked out beside him. heeseung held his forehead, trying to soothe away his current headache, and a bit of his heartache.

heeseung was so lost in his thought, he didn’t realize you standing right in front of him. he jumped a bit, but calmed down quickly due to your familiar face.

“need a ride home?” you asked, a bit hopeful he’d say yes, giving you some extra time with him.

heeseung nods his head, attempting to get up on his feet. you support him with your arm as you both walked to your car.

his voice was filled with alcohol and desperation, this is what he’s wanted for a long time.

m.list • next • prev

taglist 🏷️ : @elysianiki @kairoot @sakiimeo @myungjaesgf @payformycoffeeandleave @leeheesang @mioons @jae-n0 @unhakki @rikibun @mimismenu @sophi-ee @sakanelli-afc @dollyhoons @yeahthisisjustme @nikiswifiee @isabellah29 @mxhlvr @i03jae @luvqirls @onlyhyunjin @clampclover @coqhee @ikeublr @moons-v @iheartjayke @istphanie @felixbrownies @icewons @heartheejake @femmefqtqle @stormy1408 @llvrhee @isa942572 @ministrawberrywithchocolate @lizb107 @jinostooth @wonsprincess @xxxnrigi @strawberr3-moon @simpjay @vmpivory @jk5t4r @vixialuvs @gweoriz @dissoc1ating @milkycloudtyg @xyzyx01 @miumura

sav’s notes 💭: sorry for the long update !! i start school this week so updates may be slower than before ^_^ thank u for the ongoing support & love !

[ryuichirou]

I apologize if it is too personal but how do you deal with "antishipper" and the way they make callout posts and harassment campaigns against you ? It’s legitimately so scary and it makes me hesitant of posting my own art

Anon! I am very sorry you are going through this horrible feeling of hesitation and anxiety; knowing that people get targeted like that could not only stop you from posting, but stop you from creating altogether, and this is the worst part about this whole thing.

It’s not too personal, and I don’t mind talking about it at all. I’ve talked about our position and our relationship with fandom policing a bunch of times already, so I’m sorry if I’m repeating myself.

I used to be worried about posting certain stuff too. Well, when I was a teen/in my early 20s I wasn’t worried about anything: we had so much juicy stuff posted here lol But then the nsfw ban happened, and the social climate of this app and internet in general started shifting, the first stories about people driven to end their lives because of the hate they received started to come out, and we stopped posting completely. It wasn’t a huge loss to us back then, and this situation wasn’t the only reason why we stopped, but still, it clearly became much more difficult to just appear out of nowhere, throw problematic stuff in your blog and run away again.

I vividly remember us wanting to post my Shingeki no Kyojin drawings and comics based on our AUs and stuff, but not knowing what to do with Ereri – there was no way for us to be “unproblematic” (which was never a concern to us, we just didn’t want to get tons of hate lol) and still post Eren with a man twice his age. So we started posting them without a tag, starting with a drawing that wasn’t too shippy, and then miraculously the world didn’t end. That made us bolder, and we started to post them openly, and posted them for almost two years pretty regularly, alongside some of our other problematic ships + problematic themes. Of course we did get hate, we got a lot of hate while we were posting SnK stuff from all kinds of people, but what we also got a lot of people who found our content refreshing and interesting, even if it was weird and uncomfortable at times.

We weren’t the only people who shipped Ereri (let’s ignore my petty thoughts about the difference between Ereri and Rivaere for now), and we weren’t the only people in Twst fandom who liked Shroudcest, which is another ship that we were super hesitant about posting or even mentioning at first. But with all the hate around I was so certain the world was going to end the moment we post them, and that didn’t happen. The end of the world never happens, but what does happen is that people either get introduced to a fun new dynamic and get invested, or get happy that someone finally posts for the ship they were too afraid to post for. Somehow, when you see some other person being ballsy, you don’t feel as scared anymore – it happened to us with other people’s posts too. Yes, I still say this even though it spawns a bunch of callout posts and harassment, as it did with us. Were we cancelled? Yeah, somewhat. There’s so much you can say about an acc that states “problematic stuff, 18+”, right? I was super relieved and happy, actually, that a lot of people left/blocked us just because they’re the people I’d never want to interact with my art.

I’ve been yapping for a long time already lol so I’ll give you some pieces of advice instead… These are things that legitimately help us.

Surround yourself with people who support you – if not you personally, then at least your ideas (i.e. other proshippers). Luckily, nowadays it’s easier to find them… But also, having a friend who you can vent about these things to helps a lot! It’s cheesy but it’s a fact: when you’re not alone, it’s not as scary.

Always ignore comments/asks from antis and block them on sight, block anonymous asks too. Even if you really want to sass them, it’s much more effective to ignore them: when you give them attention, it invites more engagement from them.

Block people you get bad vibes from. Block those who like or comment bad takes or support harassment of others, block all of their alt accounts. It’s tedious and takes time, but it really helps to keep you hidden from them, at least to some degree. I look up Shroudcest sometimes just to block new people. They try to make fun of me for that, but who cares if it works? You can’t block everyone, but these people usually flock together and it’s usually just a bunch of friends, so taking several posts on these topics from people from the fandom and blocking everyone involved will obliterate the majority of harassers.

In terms of your safety, having multiple accounts in case you main one gets mass-reported helps + I would advice to keep irl stuff away from your fandom stuff just in case.

This is going to sound stupid, but please keep in mind that this isn’t about you. These people are very miserable and not very smart. Even if they try to paint you like a bad person, they don’t know anything about you, so don’t let their judgment affect how you feel about yourself. This is exactly what they want – to have power over you.

Stay strong and take care of yourself, i.e. lock your acc and/or take a break if you feel overwhelmed. Don’t worry, it will pass: it’s very rare for these clowns to keep focus on one person for a long period of time; they have like 5 different dramas per day. There are some absolutely batshit crazy rapid assholes who won’t leave an artist alone for years, but those are super rare and special cases altogether, I don’t think you need to be worried about those.

Keep in mind which fandom you want to do this with, btw. It’s usually okay for the most part, but if the fandom is just a bunch of kids, it’s more likely not worth it or deserves an empty account, at least. Twst is surprisingly good despite anything it might look like! Thanks to Yana being a shotacon and a creator of Kuroshitsuji, I guess. There are many great and supportive people in the twst fandom, it’s been a pleasure to be here, even though, once again, it’s the first fandom where I got a bunch of callout posts and nasty stuff in my ask (SnK fandom usually harassed me for other things).

TL;DR: it is scary, and you could easily get callout posts about yourself, but guess what, you also get to be yourself. Because realistically, callout posts can’t stop you from creating art. They want you to believe that they have power over you, but this isn’t true. Your life online won’t end after some random callout post – mine didn’t. They also don’t understand that each consequent callout post affects the person being called out even less. We do have a minor panic attack for the first hour or so, and it does involve more extra blocking, but mostly it just sours our mood for the day and drops our morale. I still draw, though, out of spite a little lol Oh, and do try to report these types of posts if you get them, there’s nothing wrong with that.

People had been persecuted for their art and ideas for centuries, so what happens now is really nothing new. Without diving into specifics, there are way worse things they could do than writing callouts, but they aren’t super likely to do those. Luckily.

Take care of yourself, but also please don’t doubt yourself; when it comes to your art being way too fun for lovers of censorship to handle, you’re in a very good company. I’m referring to all the artist and writers of this world btw and not just me and Katsu lol but us as well!

[kimetsu-chan]

hi, so it says that all requests are closed, and I’m assuming that means emergency requests too..? Because it’s ‘ALL’

But when they open could you write a Muichiro comfort fic for me…? So basically what’s happening is that I’ve been feeling extremely suicidal, and depressed. I came out as a therian to my mom, she’s been very unsupportive and called me mentally unstable and not developed, a Therian/otherkin is a person who identifies as a non-human animal on a psychological or spiritual level based on animilastic urges and/or behaviours…. And I’ve just been having really bad dreams and thinking a lot about my past how my father abused and almost killed my mom, got her into a coma, and I would think of running away and thought it was my fault. My father sexually harassed me. I have anxiety, think I’m annoying, hate myself stuff like that.

so why I’m in need of a Muichiro comfort fic is bc every night I draw marks on my wrist ok, and so every night I try cutting it, each night trying to go deeper or hold down the knife longer…

so that’s why maybe when requests open I was wondering if you could write one for me…

Thankyou for reading this all… have a nice day☺️ and feel free to ignore me I’m used to it! <3

~Not Tonight~

A/N: first of all, I am incredibly sorry for the miscommunication, emergency requests are open, I should’ve conveyed that better. Secondly, I am extremely saddened to hear of what has happened to you :( it’s not something you should deal with. I hope that this could be the comfort you need, and I apologize if it is not on par with what you require right now. Please take care of yourself <3

TWs ⚠️: sh will be heavily implied in this fic, along with thoughts of suicide being mildly implied, please do not read if such topics are uncomfortable or triggering.

This takes place after he regains his memories

It was extremely odd, the way you wore the longest sleeves even in the hottest weather, it perplexed Muichiro.

He didn’t understand why, but then again, he had trouble understanding the purpose of most things.

At first, he didn’t pay much mind to it, maybe it was a sense of comfort? But he saw the way you were always on the edge of passing out from the heat, and how… unsettlingly empty your eyes were.

He watched as you trained, standing idly in the shade. He had been taking a water break and decided to watch you tiredly swing your training sword.

His chest tightened painfully, and he looked down at it with confusion. He immediately associated the uncomfortable feeling with looking at you in your exhausted state. Was he concerned? Surely no, you were a subordinate. But you were his subordinate, and he used that to justify why he was worried.

Muichiro kept a steady eye on you for the next week or so, the borderline painful feeling of concern popping up at least twice a day.

You looked exceptionally worse today, more so than normal. You had collapsed due to your body not being able to withstand the unbearable heat any longer. Of course, in a fit of worry, he rushed to your side, quickly checking for a concussion or any other injuries.

The boy frowned down at you as he held your head up, and that was the most expressive you’d seen him in a while.

“[Name], I told you this would happen, you need to dress appropriately for training..!”

He reached to roll your skin-tight sleeves up but was halted by a sharp “no” from you.

Needless to say, he did not listen, proclaiming your safety was far more important, so of course he saw. He found out, and you were worried if he’d be disgusted with you.

But when he looked in your eyes once more, his gaze was devoid of disgust or disappointment. His eyes stared at you with worry and guilt and confusion.

You could see it in his eyes, the silent ask of “why” of why you felt the need to do such things to yourself.

Without thinking, you provided a short explanation, you told him when you did it, why you did it, and how bad the thoughts were getting.

It only aided in the shattering of his heart.

How could he have been so oblivious…? Could he have provided help if he had noticed sooner?

No, there was no use in beating himself up for what he didn’t do, he needed to make sure that you stopped. He vowed to you that day, that he’d pay better attention, stay with you when you needed it, help you whenever you relapsed, and anything more you could possibly need.

As he spoke, his eyes began to tear up against his will. He held you closer, trying to appear strong for you because you needed the comfort.

He didn’t want to lose you, especially not to yourself, he needed you…. So with a shaky voice, he uttered a few words as he wrapped his arms around you.

“Not-… not tonight, please…”

A/N: I urge and encourage you to seek advise and help from a therapist if you have the comfort and means to do so, once again, I am so sorry for everything that has happened to you. I sincerely hope this can bring you even the slightest sliver of comfort, and I hope you recover from any and all thoughts quickly :( <3

No taglist for this fic

[little-miss-dilf-lover]

hiii can I plz request a tangerine x soft/femreader where they’re on a cute date at a nice restaurant and they’re having a great time. Tangerine gets up to go use the restroom and while he’s gone some musty crusty dude who probably looks like a divorced Librarian walks up to reader and harasses her. Reader doesn’t know what to do since she’s more of the quiet and shy type and then tangerine (who is fuming when he sees some Walmart wearing dude yelling at his girlfriend) punches him and starts a fight. Meanwhile the reader trying to stop it cause her anxiety can’t take any more of this when the crusty dude accidentally ends up punching reader. Now she’s basically crying and tangerine quickly stops throwing hands and gets her out of there. (Obviously he’s gonna kill that guy some other time but yk he’s an amazing boyfriend so) then they get home, tangerine apologizes and takes care of reader, and she ends up falling asleep while cuddling w/ him.! Although tangerine is loving this moment they’re sharing, he can’t stop thinking about just how much pain he’s gonna inflict on the crusty dude. Sorry for this being so long and thanks! 😅

hii!! the way you described it made me giggle😭 i love stuff like this. thank you for requesting, hope you like it 💌

uncomfortable encounter

tangerine x f reader

wc: 1.2k

warnings: reader gets hits and hit on, little bit of violence- just him being protective for his girl

a/n: this was in my drafts, im not back from my break just yet. I just felt bad and wanted to give you all something

masterlist + rules

taglist

Every couple of weeks, Tangerine would take you out on a cute little date of your choice. He’d do the whole get-up; dressing up nice, buying you flowers, opening your door, anything to make you feel like a princess. He would always be chivalrous but during your dates, he’d go the extra mile to show you how much he loved and appreciated you.

For this date you had decided on a quaint pub by the river, specifically choosing it for its calm and serenity that Tangerine desperately needed after his week at work. Enjoying each other’s company as you both indulged on your dessert, chatting and sharing playful remarks throughout the entirety of the evening.

Everything was all flowing perfectly, you were gossiping about your job while you finished your drinks, both occasionally gazing out at the swan-filled stream that your table was overlooking.

He places down his glass and picks up your hand, pecking a sweet kiss on the back of it before excusing himself to the toilets. “I’ll be right back.”

“No problem.” You smile, taking another sip from your drink as you watch him walk away.

Turning your attention to the bay window, looking out at the view, your eyes darting as they watch over the birds and wildlife.

“That was quick.” You grin, turning around when you feel a presence behind you. “I’m sorry— I thought you were someone else.” You wryly smile as you apologised to the stranger.

“No problem, sweet cheeks.” He grins, causing a shudder-like feeling over your whole body. “Feeling lonely?”

You didn’t enjoy talking, especially if it was to a stranger that made you feel wildly uncomfortable. You didn’t really know how to respond, just awkwardly smiling as you try to distract yourself by playing with your straw.

“You not like me or something? … that’s not what your lips are telling me.” Nodding down to your mouth, noticing the way you were biting the bottom lip. You weren’t biting them provocatively, it was just something you did when you were anxious, harmlessly chewing on your bottom lip to deter you from thinking about your nerves.

“You’re cute.” He smirks, brushing over his greasy hair. “Let me buy you a drink, and maybe the more you drink… the more you might wanna come home with me.” Stroking over the sleeves of your upper arm, staring down at you.

Flinching at his uncalled touch, waiting impatiently for your boyfriend to return.

The man trails his dirty hands over the fabric, breathing heavily with his mouth open, itching his stubby fingers lower.

You felt stuck, it was as if you were paralysed in fear. When you hear the familiar voice of Tangerine yell “Oi” from across the pub, it felt like you could finally breathe again. “What the fuck you doing?” He grits, yanking on the back of the man’s collar to pull him away.

“Hey, man. Nothing. She was practically begging for it.” He groans, stroking his throat.

“Excuse me?” Tangerine grimaces, his eyes displaying nothing but fury as he looked at the man. “What did you just say?” His words were slow and taunting.

“Nothing— nothing.” He stammers, trying to back away.

You knew where this was heading, you’d seen this a dozen times before. You could tell by your boyfriend’s furrowed brows and contorted face that he was about to do something. Something aggressive.

“Say it again.” He whispers, his demeanour nothing but cold and rigid. “Go on.” Provoking him as he tightens his grip on the man’s t-shirt.

“N—no.” Shaking his head, looking at you with hateful eyes.

He grips the man’s face, holding his cheeks tight as he forces his gaze away from you. “And why’s that?”

“What you gonna do? Huh? Cause a bigger scene? We’re in a pub for fucks sake.” He snarks, his features suddenly shift and grow taunting.

Tangerine takes the bait and lands a firm solid punch to the side of the man’s face. Hitting him repeatedly until the man stumbles back, flailing his erratic arms as he landed unsuccessful strikes on your boyfriend.

“Hey.” You say softly, looking nervously around the room. Eyes dart between the two in fear as you make a step towards them, speaking a little louder than before. “Come on, that’s enough.”

The man momentarily sends a scowl your way before wavering a wide lunge that accidentally catches you across the cheek in the process. Tangerine immediately drops the man to the floor and rushes to your side, his hands now tender and soft as he cups your jaw. His worried eyes searching your face, honing in on your tear-filled eyes.

“I’m so sorry… are you okay? Are you hurt?” He questions, his tone scared and rushed.

Nodding with uncertainty, he carefully takes your hand, holding it in his as he leads you away from the man on the floor. He picks up your bag in his spare hand as he leads you out of the pub, guiding you through the crowd of people that were circling around.

“I shouldn’t have done that…“ he says regretfully, searching your face. “I’m so sorry.” Smiling painfully as he wipes his thumbs under your eyes, delicately swiping away your tears. “How bad does it hurt?”

“I’m fine.” You lie, burying your face in his chest. Hugging him tight.

He sighs, resting his chin on the top of your head as he wraps his arms tighter around you, comfortingly stroking your back as you stood under the fairy lights of the smoking area. “People are coming… let’s get you home.” He says softly, slowly separating from your embrace.

Nodding your head as you sniffled, allowing him to take your hand and lead you to his car.

The journey home was pretty quiet, with occasional sniffles and ‘you okay?’ diluting the silence. Spending the majority of the way home with your eyes glued to the floor of the car.

Once you get back home, he immediately sets you atop the kitchen counter, standing between your legs as he gently holds a bag of frozen peas to the sore parts of your face. His free hand carefully stroking over the other side of your face.

After a little while, the swelling starts to go down, so he changes you into his hoodie and pyjama bottoms that he was warming up on the radiator for you. Dressing you before carrying you into the living room and laying you down on the sofa.

He returns shortly after with two teas, a pack of biscuits and your favourite blanket. Snuggling beside you as he cocoons your head in his bicep, holding you close while he flicks through the channels on the tv. He glances down at you, watching your eyes flutter while they attempt to stay open.

He knew he should be enjoying this quiet moment with you, but once he notices the growing red patch on your face that was lit up from the tv, he couldn’t help but plan exactly how he was going to get this man to pay. It wasn’t solely the fact that another man touched you, hit you even. It was because of how uncomfortable and uneasy he made you, how strained your features were when the man looked at you. How frightened this man made you feel.

Tangerine would do anything for you, he’d kill for you. And that’s exactly what he was planning to do.

@tangerinesgf @kpopgirlbtssvt @ch3rries-n-cream @earth-elemental18 @ashlynhasmanyhyperfixations @idontknowwhattohaveasmyuser @thewinterv @navs-bhat @ilovetangerinewithallmyheart @theredvelvetbitch @randomawesomeperson102 @lov3lypeaches7 @princess-pebbles-things

[sunflowersandsapphires]

Live a Little

Wake Up-- Chapter 2

Series Masterlist          Next Chapter

pairing: Matt Murdock x fem!reader

summary: In an attempt to stop the advances of an unwanted suitor, Matt Murdock accidentally condemns you to being his fake girlfriend.

warnings: swearing, no use of y/n, misogynistic language, brief conversation about sexual harassment, description of anxiety and a panic attack 

a/n: This chapter ends with a touch of angst so prepare yourselves! Please feel free to comment, like, share and/or request things from me and let me know if you want to be tagged in the next chapter :)

w/c: 2.6k

“Ok. Ok, you can do this. Just take a deep breath.” You muttered nervously to yourself, fanning your hands towards your body gently. As your nerves climbed steadily, your hands had begun to shake which made it incredibly difficult to finish your eyeliner. 

Breathing deeply, you picked up the eyeliner brush once more and started again. After you had closed the applicator, your phone alarm startled you.

“Shit!” You cried, running for the dress you had laid out. Matt would be here any minute and you didn’t have your clothes on yet. 

Throwing the dress over your head you slipped it on and ran back to the mirror to pull your hair back. 

Outside of your apartment, Matt smiled, hearing you anxiously murmur to yourself. He felt a little guilty for adding unnecessary pressure, knowing that you were already nervous going to a large event like this. He had faith that the two of you could make it through this together—relatively unscathed, he hoped. 

Standing in front of your door, he gave you another moment alone before knocking. “Shit!” You whispered. “Coming!” 

As you opened the door for him, Matt was enveloped in a variety of sensations that were so vividly you he couldn’t help but smile. Your apartment was welcoming, warm and, as far as he could tell, cozy. It smelled sweet and slightly floral. There was music playing softly from somewhere inside. “Hi.” He said simply, not wanting to overwhelm you with words at the moment. 

“Hi,” your words were quiet, like you suddenly were shy around him. “You look…good. Really good.”

Letting out a chuckle, he thanked you. “Can I come in?” He gestured vaguely towards your doorway. 

“Oh yah, I’m so sorry, of course you can! I wasn’t thinking about—“ Your heart was racing.

“Hey,” Matt gently grabbed your wrist, feeling you focus on him intently. “It’s just me, sweetness.” Your pulse fluttered at the pet name, filling him with pride and a surge of protectiveness. Intertwining your hands slowly, he let you take a breath. “Are you sure you’re ok with this? If it’s too much we can call it off right now.” 

“No, no.” You took a shaky breath. “I’m fine. It’s just…I’m fine. Let’s go inside, I’m almost ready.” Still grasping his hand, you gingerly tugged him into the apartment. “Are you alright sitting on the couch while I finish up?”

“That sounds great.” He gave a reassuring smile, brushing his thumb over the back of your hand. 

The two of you walked over to your couch, Matt sitting down while you ran off to put on jewelry. 

“Did you do anything fun before this?” Matt asked, fingers running over the soft blanket folded over the couch. 

“Not really,” You called back to him, struggling to get your necklace to clasp. “I pretty much just sat around waiting for this gala. You?”

“Foggy and I had to run over some things for our cases this week. We’ve got a full docket so we’re going to be busy.” 

“Working on a Saturday? Gosh Murdock, your boss is ruthless.” You teased, sitting down beside him as you put on your earrings. 

“He’s the worst. Works all of us to the bone, always making blind jokes. I don’t know why I haven’t quit.” Matt grinned at you and you giggled. 

“Because he’s also the most compassionate, thoughtful person in the city. His girlfriend is a lucky woman.” You bit your bottom lip, turning your body towards him and clasping your hands in your lap. 

“Trust me, he’s the lucky one. I can’t believe she agreed to date him. For all we know, the relationship is fake!” Matt declared with feigned indignation making you laugh. 

You stood from the couch, tracing your hand over his arm so he could find it to pull himself up. “You lie, Murdock. We are as real as can be. And we are about to blow them out of the water with our charm.” 

“I like your attitude, sweetness.” Matt but back a smirk as your pulse jumped again at the name. “Before we go, keep in mind that you’re pulling the strings, ok? You can call this off at any time. If you need to leave, just say the word.” 

“I appreciate it. But I promise that I’m not nervous because of you, or this,” You gestured between the two of you before continuing. “I just…at events like these, I’m noticeably different than everyone else in the room. I don’t have the same degrees or experience and they write me off as young and naïve. Which, maybe I am, but—“ 

“You deserve to be there. Just as much as anyone else.” Matt assured you, taking your elbow as you guided him to the elevator in your building. “You’re smart, and kind, and good at your job. Don’t let them make you feel small.” 

Breathing deeply, you leaned into him. “Thank you.”

“It’s just the truth. Besides, if anyone makes you uncomfortable, I’ll trip them with my cane.” You both laughed at the idea. 

“Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that.” 

————————————————————————

As you and Matt approached the venue, your heart pounded. You tried to reason with yourself. The most important people in the field would be there tonight. No one would be looking at you, or judging you. And if they did, they’d see someone dressed appropriately in a gown that accented her figure with a handsome lawyer on her arm. A very very handsome lawyer. With really toned arms. Seriously, did he workout constantly? You knew Matt was fit before tonight, but looking at him in his tailored suit beside you…well. You couldn’t help but ogle a little. 

“You ready?” Matt asked, turning his attention on you. You closed your eyes and refocused. Thankfully, Matt’s presence tonight was already making you feel a bit more grounded. 

“As I’ll ever be.” 

“You’re in charge, angel.” He murmured. Angel? That was a new one. “Like we talked about before. You initiate all PDA. If I do anything that makes you uncomfortable, let me know. Pet names still ok?” 

“Uh—I uh…yes. Yes they’re ok.” You stuttered, embarrassed by how much you liked this. 

Matt chuckled, no doubt already knowing how much you liked the terms of endearment. You weren’t sure how, but he always seemed to know what you were feeling. 

You delicately took his hand into your own. “Let’s do this.”

The two of you stepped through the doors and into the gala. Lawyers, board members, and other high profile attendees milled about holding small plates with hors d'oeuvres and glasses of wine. Across the room, Foggy and Karen were talking to a partner from HC&B. Karen waved at you, smiling. 

“Um…” Your voice cracked slightly. “Karen and Foggy are here. Across the room, on the right side.” 

“Thanks, sweetness. Promise we will be ok.” Matt murmurs, leaning into you gently. 

“Yah. I know,” you gave a small smile and squeezed his hand. “C’mon, let’s go join your partners.”  

As you began to lead Matt towards your friends, you were intercepted by a fiercely beautiful woman. She looked to be in her 50s, all sharp angles and pointed stares. Her smile filled you with a sense of dread. 

“Matthew! How lovely to see you tonight.” Her grin was that of a predator. 

“Beatrice, it’s always nice to speak with you.” Matt forced a smile, but there was a tension behind it. Your eyes widened with realization. Brushing his thumb over your knuckles, Matt turned to you. “This is Beatrice Snyder of HC&B, love. I’m not sure if you’ve met before.”

“I haven’t had the pleasure.” You forced a smile, but your gut filled with a vile emotion. You stuck your hand out, introducing yourself. 

“I’ve been anticipating our meeting for days, dear. You’re quite lucky to have been able to tie this one down.” Snyder stroked her hand over Matt’s bicep which made your blood boil. 

A wave of something animalistic splashed over you. You slid an arm around Matt’s waist and looked at him with the most love sick gaze you could muster. With a smile, you responded. “Most days, I can’t believe it.” 

“It’s so charming to see such an important legal figure with someone so…new…to the scene.” Snyder remarked, looking you up and down in analysis. “Remind me what you do again?”

“I’m the Volunteer Coordinator for the NYC Pro Bono Association.” 

“Oh that’s right, dear” Snyder spit the word at you. “I remember now. You caused quite a stir when you were promoted. Everyone assumed it would be a candidate with, well, more experience.” 

Your heart pounded. The hand around Matt’s waist flexed and he carefully pulled you closer,

“I assure you, she is overly qualified for the position.” 

“We’ll see.” Snyder flashed her teeth in another cruel smile. “Unfortunately, I have to go mingle, but I’d love to chat more this evening. I’ll find you.” With that horrifying threat, she was gone. 

Your feet felt like they were cemented to the floor. Matt’s knuckles stroked your thigh softly and you realized you were still holding his waist in a vice grip. 

“Shit sorry.” Trying to remove your hand from his waist, he caught you and intertwined your fingers. “You were right, she’s the worst.”

Matt tilted his head a notch, a genuine grin spreading across his face. “She’s still watching us. You can say no if you want, but would you like to give her a show?”

“More than anything.” You growled. 

“Can I kiss you?”

“Oh, yes— um…yah you can.” You couldn’t tear your eyes off of his smile. He leaned down slightly, using one finger to tilt your chin up. 

Matt’s hand slid around to grasp your neck and you let your body be guided to his. You leaned up to meet his lips, but they never met. His face pulled away from yours suddenly, pressing kisses firmly to your forehead, then both cheeks.

Stepping back from you a bit, Matt’s brow pinched. “Too much?” 

“No. Not too much.” You said, but you couldn’t help but feel—conflicted? On the one hand, the lingering feeling of his lips burned on your skin, a sensation you would gladly take to your grave. His kisses were featherlight and tender and made you feel so loved. So how on earth did you feel disappointed at the same time? Had you subconsciously been expecting him to fully make out with you, his fake girlfriend, in front of a room of his peers? God, you were so fucking naïve–

Matt’s chuckle broke you out of your spiral. “So, is she jealous?” 

Stealing a glance over your shoulder, you felt your spirits lift, marginally. Beatrice Snyder was clenching her fist around the stem of her wine glass so tightly, it was a miracle it didn’t snap in half. “She’s fuming. Shall we join our friends?” 

The two of you made your way over to Foggy and Karen who looked like they, too, we’re holding back fits of giggles. 

“You guys,” Karen cried, under her breath. “That was amazing.” 

“Magnificent. Truly the performance of a century.” Foggy gave a round of silent applause, which made you grin, then he drew in a huge gasp. “Matt, you’re not going to believe this—that bumbling prosecutor from Wednesday is here! Apparently, he’s the nephew of a partner at LZ”

“Ugh, it had to be nepotism, there’s no way he’d keep the job otherwise!” Matt snorted. “Did we already tell you this story?” He turned to you with a gleeful expression. 

“I don’t think so?” You replied, happy for any distraction from your confusing personal monologue. 

“Oh, you’re going to LOVE this!” Foggy snatches your hand away from Matt and leads you to a table. Matt shakes his head with fond exasperation, following after. 

Truthfully, Matt wasn’t sure if he would have done the story justice at the moment. His mind was far too preoccupied with his intense shame and self-doubt following his failure to kiss you properly. He’d wanted to pull you close and give Beatrice and her posse something to gawk at, but he couldn’t follow through. What was the matter with him? Thinking back, he hadn’t been this nervous with a woman since… Nope, not the time to think about that.

Matt felt Karen press a glass of liquor into his hand and he downed it. ‘This isn’t real’, he reminded himself. ‘Don’t do this to yourself, don’t do this to her.” He forced himself to tune back into the conversation, pushing his emotional friction as far back in his mind as he could. 

Foggy’s frown was evident in his voice. “You alright, buddy?”

“Fine!” Matt answered, too quickly for anyone to believe him. “Just, a lot going on is all. Finish the story!” Foggy’s attention remained on him for a moment, before he dove back into the anecdote expressively.

Under the table, you took Matt’s hand once more, giving it a tiny squeeze as Foggy described the floundering of the latest unimpressive prosecutor there firm had gone up against.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Despite your doubts, the night was going rather smoothly. With Matt’s arm around you, your nerves practically vanished. His charm and extroverted nature rubbed off on you as the two of you chatted with various attendees. 

After a couple of hours of small talk, your brain needed a breather. Excusing yourself from the ongoing conversation between Matt and a circuit judge about courthouse accessibility, you made your way to the bathroom. As you sat down in a stall to clear your head, the door opened and two sets of heels stumbled in. 

One woman gave a heavy sigh. “I wish these events weren’t so goddamn boring. If I have to hear Chao tell his fly fishing story one more time, I’ll shred all of the notes from the Jones deposition.”

The other person laughed shrilly, and you froze in disbelief at your own misfortune. It was Beatrice Snyder. 

“He really does think he’s some hotshot outdoorsman. Though, surrounded by these pasty idiots, he might as well be Paul Bunyan.” Snyder remarked. 

As you debated whether to make a run for it, the first woman spoke again. 

“Matthew Murdock and his new toy sure made quite an entrance,” the younger woman snickered. Dear god, this was so not happening right now.

Snyder tsked with disgust, “They did, didn’t they. I swear, I have seen the girl before but I don’t remember her being so…plain.”

Your heart sank as your anxiety rose. Snyder’s colleague gave a sharp laugh, “She is rather unimpressive. A man as handsome as Murdock could have any woman he wanted, this pairing is…almost sad.” 

A lump formed in your throat. 

“It is truly pathetic,” Snyder jumped in. “Not to mention, the little leech was only given her position after defaming James Lannister. He was a shoe-in for the role and then, poof– let go for ‘sexual harassment allegations’ a whole 5 days before her promotion. Quite a damning timeline, if you ask me.”

Tears were pouring down your cheeks now, your lungs constricted as you held back a sob. Lannister’s termination was supposed to be low-profile, your bosses had promised to be discreet after you confided in them. You felt so fucking betrayed. 

“Well, there’s no doubt she’ll get what’s coming to her, the shrew.” Snyder sighed, dreamily. “Murdock will come to his senses and realize she’ll never be enough for him.”

The other woman chuckled. “Karma is truly a bitch.” 

And with that, they were gone, the door swinging shut behind them. 

The sob you’d been holding back burst past your lips. Pathetic. You took a moment, hoping the two crones had made their way back to the party, before making your escape. As discreetly as possible, you fled the bathroom and bolted out of the side exit, ignoring the sympathetic looks of the venue’s staff. 

Taglist:  @maladaptivedaydreamingbum

[astrangetorpedo]

On New Year’s Eve, during a house party at her home in Richmond, Virginia, Lucy Dacus had her fortune told. She thought why not. On a personal level, 2017 had been a wretched year – a steady conveyor belt delivering the 22-year-old bad news.

“This girl, who I didn’t even know, came to the party and gave me this year-long reading,” she explains. “Month-by-month it was so specific. So far, it’s kind of lined up.”

In the past Dacus has been sceptical about the prophetic powers of the tarot card deck, and was taught that the pentacles (coins) were a symbol of Satan. “It’s hard to look to the future and see nothing, to know nothing,” she muses. “I still don’t know what’s going to happen, but having something to have your mind bounce off is nice. That’s why I like tarot. It gives you something to reflect on.”

It’s all part of a fresh way of thinking for Dacus, a new “mood of just trying to be open to new things.” For so many reasons the past year has been one Lucy Dacus is keen to put behind her. “I guess I could just list things,” she says laughing, but not joking. To begin, some of her close family suffered health problems, compounded by her own serious issues including a bout of appendicitis that forced her to have surgery. She was attempting to buy a house for the first time, a process that proved “trying”. Three of her tours got cancelled.

“It was a little bit miserable,” says Dacus, sitting in an east London cafe. “Towards the end of the year, I just had to laugh… Like, come on!”

Interwoven with these practical challenges she was having to navigate something much more troubling. “I got out of a relationship in 2016, which I was waking up from in 2017 – realising that it was abusive,” she begins. “Letting myself say that, it took many months to come out of the numbness… to stop being brainwashed. So, that’s all been a growth. It’s ended up being positive, but it is difficult wondering how I let that be a part of my life for so long.”

Deepening the ordeal, still, this year of personal upheaval was set to the backdrop of Trump’s first 12 months in office. A vociferous supporter of Bernie Sanders through the 2016 election campaign, Dacus is a passionate advocate for equal rights, attending marches and collecting donations for community organisations at her shows. To have Trump sat in the White House representing her country, she says, felt – feels – “horrible”. “It’s just absurd and I feel like I’m in an alternate universe,” she says. “It’s really hard maintaining hope.

“Coming to Europe I’m embarrassed to be an American sometimes, but then I just have to hope that people know that I am not part of Trump. I’ve thought about wearing shirts at the airport – just like ‘not my president’. In little ways I just want to assert that opinion.”

And then there were the disturbing revelations surrounding Harvey Weinstein (and subsequently many other men) revealed in Autumn 2017, that opened out into a global conversation around the abuse and harassment of women.

“It’s been nice coming out of that really terrible relationship during a time when women are speaking up more. It feels like I’m allowed to say these things now,” says Dacus, crediting the #MeToo movement. “All these horrible, heartbreaking stories of women being mistreated are at the forefront but the solace that people are doing what they need in order to find closure and help each other prevent that happening ever again. For one of the first times I’ve been noticing male friends of mine actually examining their past behaviours.”

While there are some early shoots of positivity, the truth is, the culmination of all of these factors left the songwriter dealing with anxiety for the first time. “2017 was a new state of mind for me – and not really in the best way.”

Lucy Dacus was raised in Richmond, Virginia, about two hours south of Washington D.C. on the east coast. It’s a place sometimes described as “the biggest small town left in America.” The family home was in the rural suburbs and she travelled into the city to go to high school. “It’s hard to tell you in one answer how my whole childhood was,” she says. “It’s a large variety of things. Overall, I’m coming out with my thumbs up.”

In her household music was always there. Her mother is a piano teacher, as was her grandmother. Picking up songwriting was never a big deal, like a second language that was spoken around the house. “That’s how music is – like, it’s just part of my life,” she recalls.

Yet the dream of being a professional artist seemed almost so unattainable that it was invisible. In her late teens, Dacus went to college to study film but dropped out, primarily because she’d end up saddled with huge debt. “That, paired with the feeling of being misunderstood in my programme,” she confirms. “I just didn’t have a lot of like minds in my classes.”

That prompted a move back to Virginia where she took a job in a photography lab developing kids’ cheesy school photos. She’d been writing songs in her spare time and gathered nine of the 30-or-so she had together when her friend Jacob Blizard (now her touring guitarist) asked her to record them for his school project. Her 2016 debut album, ‘No Burden’, was made in one day in Nashville. Blizard passed school, and that album received rave reviews. NPR called it “vulnerable”, while Pitchfork said it was an “uncommonly warm indie rock record”. As a result, 20 different record labels reportedly scrabbled to sign Dacus. She settled on Matador, and began to prepare for what should have been a joyful 2017.

The first time Dacus remembers assuming the role of historian she was seven or eight-years-old. She was writing in her journal – and she smiles now recalling her first entry. It complained about how the babysitter spent the whole evening on the phone to her boyfriend. “There’s a point where I realise I’m journaling and so I stop and go, ‘I should probably introduce myself… I’m Lucy’” she laughs, remembering it clearly. “It’s really cute.”

More than a dozen notebooks, and many years later, she still keeps a diary now. Sometimes she writes every day, other times, weeks go by and then she fills 20 pages. Occasionally she flicks open an old one to either “laugh or cringe” at her younger self.

‘Historian’, then, isn’t just the title of her latest album, but also the way she thinks of herself. A chronicler, of her own experiences, but also those around her. Those pages aren’t just a document of a growing maturity, but also a therapeutic habit that helps make sense of many life events, including that recent damaging relationship. “Seeing that it had been broken for the whole time but that I was just oblivious to it, [reading about] it helps to accept that things didn’t change,” she says. “I just saw it for what it was finally, and so perspective is good.”

Those handwritten journals are sacred, which is why, when her tenth one was stolen on tour a few years ago along with a bag of possessions, it was the notebook she replaced first.

The album itself is a recent history – a narrative burrowing through those myriad dark times. Dacus knew that she wanted it to form a complete story, and wrote the track list before some of the songs. “It’s an arc” she says, that begins in a “relatable place” with the only break-up song she’s ever written (‘Night Shift’) that subsequently delves “deeper into darkness.”

“Then the subject matter gets a little more intense,” she tells me, “– going through identity crises, or loss of home, or loss of faith, loss of a loved one, loss of your life. I feel like I’m pulling people into an uncomfortable space.” She pauses. “There’s then a change where hopefully I’m turning on a light and saying, ‘Yes, all of that exists, but it’s a foil to joy.’”

It is an extraordinary piece of work. Musically it’s a colossal step up, reminiscent of recent albums by Mitski (‘Puberty 2’), Angel Olsen (‘My Woman’) and labelmate Julien Baker (‘Turn out the Lights’). The subject matter is heavy, but it’s never a dreary listen. In fact, it’s charming, funny even – like a brave smile emerging through a curtain of tears. And Dacus has a gift for lyric writing; like the eloquent way she pays tribute to the humility shown by her dying grandmother on ‘Pillar of Truth’. From first to final note it’s evocative and powerful. “The first time I tasted somebody else’s spit I had a coughing fit,” goes the LP’s opening line in ‘Night Shift’. “If past you were to meet future me,” she sings on the final line of the closing title track, “would you be holding me now?”

It’s heartening to hear that the contents of Dacus’ NYE tarot reading were largely positive. The forecast noted that she should enjoy the proceeds of her hard work, but that “something horrible happens in the summer, then there’s kind of a rebirth, growing back into, like, life in an even more knowledgeable and peace-oriented way.” Dacus is about to leave, and picks up a bag of books she’s been keeping underneath the cafe table.

“It could be wrong,” she says. “I’m not superstitious. I’m taking it in. When that does happen I hope I can take my own advice – let it be what it is, and look past it eventually

(x) 3/14/18

[blackenedsnow]

Heya! Same person who requested the Ace!Reader x Arthur Morgan thing! Thank you so so much! Made me super super happy and I may or may not have cried a little bit lmao

Feel free to ignore this other bit of the ask. I don’t know if one can send a request more than once, but obviously I’m not expecting this to be written with all the other people sending in asks. They take priority. I was just wondering if you could write something about the same kind of reader, but with Kieran? Where she’s always defended and protected him, fed him well when he was tied to the tree, got him a tent and a cot and everything, and fussed over him in general, at first just because she’s not okay with that sort of treatment but develops actual feelings for him, and she rescues him from the O’Driscoll boys when he disappeared?

Again, feel free to ignore this. The important bit is that I felt more reassurance than I have in a while with the Arthur request. Thank you again! Have a lovely day/night!

soft hands

WARNING: Kidnapping, mentions of mistreatment

PAIRING: Kieran Duffy x Reader

NOTE: I’m so happy the Arthur fic meant so much to you! Seriously, feel free to send in as many requests as you want. (As long as you don't spam my inbox all at once lol) It’s never a problem, and I love creating these for you! You’re always welcome here.💙

SUMMARY: After weeks of caring for Kieran, you realize your feelings for him go deeper than simple kindness. When he goes missing, you risk everything to bring him back.

Kieran whimpered as the ropes bit into his wrists. The thick cord twisted around the bark of the tree where Dutch had ordered him tied up like some animal. He’d been with the gang for what felt like a while now, but they still looked at him like he was some kind of vermin. Except you. You always did what you could to help him, offering him scraps of food when no one was looking, defending him when Bill or Micah got too rough.

You couldn’t stand the way they treated him.

It wasn’t as though Kieran had exactly "chosen" to be with the O’Driscolls. It was a "ride with us" or die situation, and you believed him with all your heart. You didn’t believe in this kind of cruelty, and seeing him tied to that tree, looking half-starved and terrified, set your teeth on edge. So, from the moment he’d been captured, you had taken it upon yourself to keep an eye on him.

It started small—handing him extra food when you were sure no one would notice. Then, you’d convinced Dutch and Hosea to get him a tent and a cot so he wasn’t left exposed to the elements like some animal. When you finally got them to untie him, you’d gone out of your way to make sure he wasn’t harassed by the others. You didn’t know why it bothered you so much at first. Maybe it was just your natural instinct to look after people, to keep them safe.

But over time, something changed.

You started to notice the way Kieran would blush when you brought him food, or the way he’d glance up at you with those soft, grateful eyes. And it wasn’t long before you realized that your need to protect him went beyond just being kind-hearted. You had feelings for him, feelings that snuck up on you when you weren’t looking.

It was a cold morning when you realized something was wrong. Kieran hadn’t been seen since the night before, and no one seemed to care.

“Have you seen Kieran?” you asked Arthur, who was busy cleaning his rifle. He barely spared you a glance.

“Haven’t seen him since yesterday,” he said. “Why? You worried about him?”

You frowned, a knot of anxiety twisting in your chest. “You sure he’s alright?”

Arthur sighed, wiping down the barrel of his gun. “I don’t know. If he’s smart, he ain’t runnin’.”

You didn’t like that answer. Something in your gut told you that Kieran hadn’t run off. He wasn’t the type to just leave—especially not after everything. You trusted him more than anyone in the gang did, and the idea of him disappearing without a word didn’t sit right with you.

“I’m going to go look for him,” you said, already heading for your horse. Arthur called after you, but you didn’t stop.

The ride was long and cold, your mind racing with worst-case scenarios. You knew that if Kieran had been taken by the O’Driscolls, it wouldn’t be good. They had no love for traitors. Every second that passed without finding him made your heart pound harder. You pushed your horse faster, determined to bring him back safely.

After hours of searching, you finally stumbled upon an old O’Driscoll camp hidden deep in the woods. You dismounted, creeping quietly through the trees. There were three men sitting around a fire, and off to the side, tied to a post, was Kieran.

Your heart dropped at the sight of him. He was slumped over, his face bloodied, his wrists bound tight behind his back. They’d beaten him.

You had to get him out of there.

Drawing your gun, you crept closer, your boots making barely a sound on the damp earth. You watched the O’Driscolls carefully, waiting for the right moment to strike. When one of them stood and moved away from the fire, you seized the opportunity. Taking out the closest man with a quick knife to the neck, you rushed forward, catching the other off-guard before he could react.

The third man tried to pull his gun, but you were faster, a clean shot to his chest sending him crumpling to the ground.

With the camp quiet, you hurried over to Kieran, dropping to your knees beside him. “Kieran? It’s me. You’re safe now.”

He flinched at your touch, still out of it from the beating. When he finally recognized you, a sob caught in his throat. “Y-You came for me…”

“Of course I did,” you whispered, cutting through the ropes binding his wrists. “I’m not leaving you here.”

Once free, Kieran slumped against you, too weak to stand. His body trembled, and you couldn’t tell if it was from fear or exhaustion. Probably both. You wrapped an arm around him, pulling him close as you helped him to his feet. He leaned heavily on you as you led him to your horse.

“Come on, let’s get you back to the camp,” you said softly, hoisting him onto the saddle before climbing up behind him.

The ride back to camp was slow and quiet, with Kieran resting against you, his head lolling against your shoulder.

Back at camp, you made sure Kieran was properly cared for. You fussed over him like you always did, making sure he had a warm meal and all that stuff.

“I don’t deserve this,” Kieran mumbled one night as you were tending to the bruises on his face. “I don’t deserve you.”

You stopped, looking at him with soft eyes. “That’s not true, Kieran. You deserve someone who cares about you.”

He blinked up at you, his expression raw and vulnerable. “But why? After everything… why do you care so much?”

You hesitated, your heart thudding in your chest. You’d been wrestling with your feelings for weeks now, and hearing him ask that question made it all come crashing down.

“Because…” You set the cloth aside, your hand resting gently on his cheek. “Because.. I don't know. I just care about you. More than I probably should.”

His eyes widened, a faint blush creeping up his neck. “Y-You mean that?”

You nodded, your heart pounding in your ears. “I do.”

For a long moment, neither of you spoke. Then, slowly, Kieran’s hand reached up to cover yours, his fingers trembling slightly.

“Thank you, I… I care about you too.” he replied.

It wasn’t a grand confession, but it didn’t need to be. You already knew. You’d known for a while now.

[eddiediazismyhusband]

Hi! I just wanted to say that I like your attitude and resilience (I'm a weak man, and every toxic anti-buddie/anti-buddie-shippers/pro bucktommy idea just hits me straight in the heart).

I don't understand how people can suddenly start hating Buddie because of "crazy fans", but still be smitten by bucktommy despite of how crazy some of their fans are.

And I really hate that they have this ammunition (their ship still going, Eddie happening to be hetero) to bully us with (haven't Buddie shippers been through enough of hate these past six years? And who knows how much more of it we'll have to yet to go through...)

Ah, sorry for the rant😅

The long ass message anon from lenaboskow's asks xD

🏝️

awwwww, thank you anon 😭 <3

if i’m being honest, the public resilience comes from years of being bullied and ridiculed, so at this point hate (especially anonymous hate) just rolls off my back bc atp it’s just par for the course with these people.

i definitely understand the toxicity hitting you right in the feels though. i have mentioned before but i have really bad anxiety and depression, and there are times when if i haven’t taken my meds i will start to spiral over the smallest things (just ask @lenaboskow who has been present for a lot of this unmedicated spiraling)… so i definitely understand that some of the toxicity and hate can be hard. especially when the writers continued to give them ammunition after seeing what what was happening on twitter during the premiere period of season 7.

I’ve been a buddie shipper since s2. I have put up with seeing ridicule and disrespect from the fandom for shipping buddie for years (granted i only started getting actively involved in the fandom very recently, i still kept up with cast interviews, articles, etc. and could see plenty of it there) so i understand it can be hard seeing so many people that once were hardcore buddie shippers suddenly turning into violently hateful stan accounts for this new ship is jarring and disappointing… i have seen so many of my favorite fic writers turn into anti-buddie-eddie-bashing enthusiasts seemingly overnight and it’s hard to see.

that being said, i still have not lost hope. abc and tptb see what is happening— they see screeners being harassed for talking about buddie, they see buddie shippers getting doxxed and getting death threats, they see lou stirring the pot (though thankfully it seems something has been done about that)

these creators know that stoking this kind of fandom behavior is not okay- they know that it’s a bad idea to reward toxicity and hate. they have also been the ones actively laying the groundwork for buddie for six years. a lot of the writers actually care about buck AND eddie, rather than just buck (regardless of whatever is going on in kristen reidel’s cesspool of a creative mind), and we know that queer eddie has been discussed at length before to the point where the queer storyline of s7 was almost eddie’s. these writers see what we see, the actors see what we see, tim minear sees what we see.

i don’t know what they have in store for next season, but regardless of whether or not we get buddie canon, i am very optimistic that the pilot won’t be around much longer, especially after the drama and toxicity he has stirred up within the fandom, bc the last thing a network tv show wants is bad press, and that situation has the potential to boil over into something much worse if they didn’t put a stop to it immediately.

anyway, anon, never apologize for sending a long ask, i love to yap and i love being an outlet for people to vent if they need to <3 i believe in you, that you will be able to withstand this blip in the fandom; as someone who’s had to go through similar situations in other fandoms it will not matter a year from now once everyone has moved on. unfortunately we are caught upnin the novelty of it, but once it either peters out or becomes a sort of “new normal” (which i hope it is the former and not the latter) it will be so much easier to bear with.

i hope you have a lovely morning, afternoon, or evening, sweet anon 💕💕

[croissantlover24]

I feel so disgusted right now.

Any respect I had for this fandom is gone.

I recently just found a post that said that the gore anons aren’t real and were only made to make people feel bad for nonshippers (I’m not going to say who it is so they don’t get harassed).

Wow. I’m barely holding myself back from screaming. This is what we have amounted to? Seriously?? There are people getting driven to suicide, depression, anxiety, fearing for their lives, and off of the fandom entirely, and you’re going to say that this is all fake? You’re sick. You are a sick human being and I hope you realize just how wrong you are in the future. These people have literally been invading the askboxes of people all over Tumblr. One look at a few of the blogs that only post family content proves that.

I’ve seen people delete their blogs. I’ve seen people try to commit suicide. I’ve seen and felt all kinds of horrific things because of these people.

And you’re trying to tell me, tell the COMMUNITY, that this is all a hoax?

I can’t believe you all. I can’t believe this is the conclusion we come to. I can’t believe we’re silencing the victims in this fandom and blaming them for the abuse they’re facing.

This is vile. I wanted to give some of these people the benefit of the doubt, but I can’t anymore. My hope is lost.

Victims of the gore anons, I am so sorry. I feel awful that your experiences are being invalidated right now. I’m always here for anyone who wants to talk, no matter who you are.

Have a good day.

[happypopcornprincess]

Call It What You Want (Chapter 2)

Note: The story is set somewhere in 2018, pre covid, before Yei won the world champion. A lot of Oyei, Yak and Cher's backstory has been my own creation. Also some new characters are also purely fictional.

Please do not repost or reupload this story as your own.

a/n: I imagined Ice being played by Aye Sarunchana [Torfun from ATOTS] and Lita being played by Sara Legge [Paan from Theory of Love]

TW: anxiety, PTSD, mentions of assault

Series Masterlist

---/---/---

One Week Later

Ice and Lita had basically held him up at their place for a week, refusing to let him go unless he willingly ate something. Ice stayed glued to him the entire time, and even though Cher never said it out loud, she knew he didn’t want to be left alone. It was a throwback to their teenage sleepovers, filled with rom-coms, junk food, and the comforting presence of a best friend. But this time, the laughter was replaced by a heavy silence, a shared understanding of the trauma he'd endured

And true to her word, Lita had pressed all charges. Attempted kidnapping, robbery, assault, and harassment. Cher had told her everything when she came back from the station, and she assured him not to worry as they have both proof and witness. “They’ll go to jail. I’ll make sure of it.”

He was grateful to have them, and even more grateful about the fact that they didn’t let this out to Cher’s mother. He knew she would want him to move in with her and would stay paranoid if he kept on living in his apartment.

He should be happy, right? His assailants are going to get punished, he’s got support from all his friends, he is safe. He should rest and get back on his feet.

But why can’t he rest?

The memory of his helplessness during the attack replayed on a loop in his mind.

How easily those men had overpowered him, the terror that had left him frozen. He could have been dead if it wasn’t for Yei coming to his rescue. He couldn't rest until he felt a semblance of control again.

As Lita dropped him off at his place, a flicker of determination sparked in Cher's eyes. He may have been a victim that night, but he wouldn't be one anymore. “Lita,” he began, his voice firm, “do you have any way to contact P'Yei?”

===

“I’m sorry for the mess, we just moved in, I didn’t have any time to clean up.” Yei was embarrassed by how messy everything was. He led Cher to the back of the warehouse and into their home. “Please, make yourself…” Yei kicked yet another box out of his way, “comfortable.” He led Cher to the back of the warehouse and into their home.

Cher, the boy from that night, had turned up at his warehouse out of nowhere. Turns out he lived nearby and judging by how his lawyer friend acted at the station… he was rich. The clothes he wore right now; classic brown trousers and loose white shirt, screamed upper class Thai money to him.

Which let him wonder what was he doing in the neighborhood late at night.

Cher took a seat in his living room/bedroom/dining area, Yei saw him looking around the place, crates of things everywhere, the gas stove in the corner still on cooking soup for lunch. Half of the rooms were in dire need of a reconstruction after years of neglect. He slept in the living room and gave the least damaged room to Yak, he knew how teenagers are with their privacy.

Thank God that boy was at school because his room was on a whole other level of messy.

But to Yei's surprise, Cher didn't seem disgusted. Instead, he looked around with a curious gaze, like an artist studying a blank canvas.

“So let me get this straight,” Yei begin, taking a seat across him, “You want me to train you for boxing.”

“Self-defense.” Cher answered with complete seriousness.

Well, this was going to be weird.

“Cher, I understand why you’re asking me to do this but…” Yei took a deep breath, “I am actually  thinking about retiring from boxing.”

"What!" Cher exclaimed, his eyes widening in surprise.

Yei did his best to explain his situation. "I have a younger brother to support, and boxing championships only bring in a little money. I don't have any sponsors. How can I keep going like this? I need a stable job," he blurted out.

It felt strange to say it out loud, after keeping it bottled up for so long. Cher took a deep breath, his expression unreadable.

"So you're just going to give up boxing?" he finally asked.

Yei offered a sad smile. "I don't have much of a choice, Cher."

Cher remained silent, his shoulders dropping as he took a look around the house and out the main door at the warehouse. Cher kept looking at it, los in his thoughts as Yei was left wondering what he was thinking about.

“Is that warehouse empty?” he asked after a while.

Yei hesitated, unsure of where this conversation was headed. 'Yes,' he finally said, 'it hasn't been used in a while.

"What if I told you there was a way for you to keep boxing and make money?" Cher proposed, a glint appearing in his eyes.

===

Next Day

“This is a crazy idea, Cher. You hardly know this guy!” Ice looked at him holding her bottle in a tight grip. They were having brunch at his house when Cher explained his plan to help Yei build a Muay Thai training center in his old warehouse and teach him self-defense, Ice looked like he had grown two heads. Lita, on the other hand, just smiled and started investigating Yei on her tablet.

“It is a good investment Ice, believe me.” Cher said, sipping his beer in his living room.

“Holy shit dude, you were right.” Lita blurted out, slamming her food down and shoving the tablet towards the center of the table. There were countless articles about Yei Phadetseuk, a national-level champion and renowned boxer with a string of tournament victories under his belt. A household name in the Thai boxing scene.

“How the fuck is he unemployed?” Ice grabbed the tablet, scrolling frantically through articles.

'His dad left the family for another woman, taking his sponsorship with him,' Cher explained. 'His managers did a lousy job promoting him, and his mom recently passed away. He has a younger brother in high school and no income. That's why he hasn't had any fights scheduled.'

Lita shot him a curious glance, “well someone did their research.”

Cher nodded. 'I've seen him fight, Lita. He's got incredible potential. With proper support and training, I'm confident he can reach the world championships.'

Ice chuckled, “Also; he’s kinda hot.” she added, pulling up a photo of Yei in the boxing ring – shirtless, glistening with sweat, and undeniably ripped.

Cher swatted her shoulder playfully. 'He's a good man, and he saved my life. This is the least I can do for him. He has the talent; he just needs someone to help him showcase it properly.'

'Are you absolutely certain about this, Cher?' Lita asked, a hint of concern in her voice. 'Take your emotions out of it for a moment. Analyze this as a businessman, then decide.'

“I am saying this with a sound mind Lita. I won’t jump to conclusions without having a plan, I promise.” He assured his friends.

Cher understood his privileged upbringing. Witnessing all the entitled, two-faced heirs around him, he knew he never wanted to become one of them. His skills in management and renovation were the reason his mother had allowed him to move out after college. He was confident in his ability to help Yei and his brother out of this predicament.

“Have you talked about this with him?” Ice asked him.

“Yes, I have. He said he’ll think about it, but I’m sure he’ll accept. He gets to keep boxing, all while earning money. It’s a win win situation.” Cher smiled.

While Ice and Lita shifted off to a different topic, he couldn’t help but look out of the window, thinking of the kind man with golden eyes and his gentle smile.

He had saved his life, and now it was his turn to do the same.

To be continued...

/---/---/---

Masterlist || Part Three

---/---/---

Taglist - @seoulmates98 @randomia-in-wonderland @fandomforever369 @nitorem

Comment down to be added to the taglist.

---/---/---

More Thai BL Fanfics

Tangled Fates: The Sign Series Fanfic A Phaya x Tharn fic about their past life as Sapuna and Wansarut.

[perfectsunlight]

(𝟒𝟕) - 𝐟𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬

𝗐𝖺𝗋𝗇𝗂𝗇𝗀𝗌: mentions of harassment, bullying, death threats

𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬: 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮

“i can’t do it,” you repeated for the nth time that afternoon. you kept pacing back and forth, running a hand through your hair as your chest tightened from anxiety. ever since the harassment and death threats, you had been fearing this moment. 

the moment you would have to return to work with karina.

everyone was already accusing you of so much, and you tried to stay off the internet to avoid it, but then the in person harassment started. paparazzi being more invasive, strangers calling you all sorts of unkind names. 

it was all chipping away at you, piece by piece. and right now, you were about to crumble entirely.

“jimin, i can’t do it.” you whispered as the taller girl rushed into the room, eyes full of concern. 

the aespa leader immediately shut the door behind her and crouched next to you, putting a hand on your back.

“talk to me,” she whispered gently, eyes still focused on you. “what’s going on in that head of yours?”

your eyes brimmed with tears as you leaned against the wall, hunching over to try and catch your labored breath. everything was spinning, the room, your head, your stomach. it felt like you had been running a marathon with the way your chest rose and fell.

jimin’s heart broke at the sight. you were always so fearless, and yet here you were, absolutely crumbling in front of her.

your silence worried her, but when your head lifted up finally, tears were streaming down your face. it was a sight that karina had seen only once, and she never wanted to see it again. however, unfortunately, she had to. this time, she didn’t mind, though.

“i’m sorry, i’m sorry, just go on stage without me.” you said in between shallow breaths. “i can’t do it, jimin i can’t.” the tears began flowing faster as you both heard in your ear pieces that you’d be on in 20 minutes.

your back slid down the wall as you struggled to breathe even more. the anxiety and pure fear were clawing at you. what if someone threw something at you? what if you got booed? what if people wanted to get violent with you?

every single worst case scenario kept replaying in your head, and you felt like the world around you was fading.

then you felt it. the all too familiar pair of arms that once held you every night, but for the first time in years, you were feeling them again.

jimin’s arms instinctively wrapped around your cowering figure as she sat next to you. her signature scent of lavender and vanilla filling your senses, distracting you for a split second from the raging war in your mind. 

“you’re okay, it’s okay…” she whispered softly, rubbing her hand up and down your back in a comforting manner. karina’s heart was aching because of how broken and scared you were, but it was also racing because this was the first time she had been this close to you in years.

you buried your face into her shoulder, and just let everything out. in that moment, you felt safe to do so. 

living in the dorms didn’t give you this safety. if anything it gave you privacy, but you could never let your members see you in this state. it would only break their hearts even worse. you felt terrible enough already for giving the group bad press, the last thing you wanted was to burden them with your feelings.

which was why you were able to just let the dam burst, and cry your heart out in the arms of karina.

“they all hate me, jimin.” sobs wracked your body as you continued to weep, which only resulted in the older girl pulling you closer to her so she could squeeze you tighter. 

“they have no idea what they’re talking about, y/n.” she replied firmly, adamant about the fact that you were being painted in the wrong light. “if they believe their own rumors over what me and your sister have said, then they are not people who deserve your love in the first place.”

you didn’t reply for a few minutes, simply letting your body weep and dwell in its sorrow that you had been keeping in for way too long. this was something no one else would ever be a witness to. no one other than karina and the four walls of the music bank dressing room in the back of the hallway would ever know about this moment.

your sudden quivering words brought jimin out of thoughts.

“i’m sorry, rina. i’m sorry for giving you and your relationship bad press, even if it is fake.” your sniffle was soft as you wiped your eyes with your hand, even though your eyes were still flowing with sadness.

karina couldn’t believe her ears. how could you blame yourself? none of this was your fault.

it was what you said next that made jimin’s heart shatter.

“maybe if you and i never dated, then none of this would have happened.” 

your tears started to flow again at the thought. but then you felt a dampness on your shoulder. confusion laced your features as you turned your head, only to see jimin’s eyes filled with tears.

“why…why would you say that?” she asked in disbelief, eyes full of concern and a few flashes of hurt. jimin saw your relationship as something sacred, something she would always cherish even though it ended. except, she thought you felt the same way.

you realized that what you said was a bold statement, but you clarified with a hoarse voice. “i meant that if i never would have confessed to you, we would not have dated, and we would not have to deal with this absolute mess right now. i wouldn’t be getting death threats, and maybe even you and minjeong would actually be together.”

silence fell between you two for a moment, but then karina finally spoke up.

“i would never trade what we had for anything, even now.”

you did for your debut. you wanted to answer, and karina could tell you were about to say it too, but she continued speaking before you could even get the chance. “to tell you the truth y/n? i was always interested in you.”

she took a deep breath and continued speaking softly, almost in a whisper. “when you and i first met, i was worried because you had no dance experience whatsoever. but despite all the bullshit they gave you, you kept going, and eventually you were outperforming even me and the other senior trainees.”

your mind was slowing down as jimin continued speaking.

“you have always been so resilient, so fearless. your group concept fits you so well, i can’t complain about not debuting with you anymore because of it. you are the most kind, compassionate, hard working person i know. they don’t know you well enough to judge you, especially since they don’t know what they’re talking about.”

she swallowed thicky before meeting your gaze once more. “i know you. i know the real you. 

“fearless, unstoppable, and someone who shines brighter than the sun. you are so unbelievably strong and i can’t imagine how scared you feel right now, but just know this.”

jimin cupped your face in her hands, a tint of red flushing her cheeks as she stared at you.

“you are the most fearless person i know. and i have always loved you for it.”

you opened your mouth to respond to her, but you were at a loss for words. karina always had a way with words, except this time you truly were reminded just how good she was. she always had a knack for this sort of thing, and it was nice to see she still was the same old jimin. in this aspect, at least.

“thank you, jimin.”

you whispered gratefully. for the first time that week, you felt peace in your heart and your mind. it felt as if everything was going to be okay. your cheeks heated up slightly when you realized that karina’s hands were still touching your face.

she seemed to notice and pulled them away, clearing her throat out of awkwardness. “sorry….” she chuckled timidly. 

you smiled and shook your head. “it’s alright…”

the stage managers told the both of you through your earpieces that you were needed onstage in 10 minutes, making you and jimin both smile at each other. 

you knew that jimin was the only person who could bring you back to earth like this. it was astonishing that she still could do that, even after all of these years. but as the aespa member stood up and stuck her hand out for you to take, you couldn’t help but smile softly as you took it.

you were fearless, and you would go out on that stage with a smile to face the raging storm ahead. but little did jimin know, that the only way you could be yourself, was not because of your own traits inherently.

rather, it was because of her. you were the sun, but jimin was the brightest star in your sky.

because even the sun doesn’t shine alone in the darkness.

┊┊┊┊⋆ ✧　 　 · 　 ✧　✵ ┊┊┊☆ *　　 * ⋆ ┊┊★ * ┊┊* . *　✦ ┊☆ ° ✧　 　 · ★*

you and jimin met as trainees before she debuted, and you two never felt more in love. however, once she breaks up with you before her debut, you completely leave SM entertainment under the notion of needing a fresh start. you eventually debuted a few years later in le sserafim, where you met huh yunjin and have slowly started developing feelings for the idol. much to karina's dismay, she hates to see you have moved on, but deep in your own heart, you still can't help but feel as if maybe she has forgotten about you.

𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭: @captivq , @wonyoluvr , @yunalvrrr , @spritin , @babycubchae , @vnschldd , @sserafimez , @chaersly , @rosiehrs , @baldd , @bwljules , @jenaissantesworld , @jennasluma , @dream-chasers-things , @lcv3lies , @elyds , @archerheejin , @vnschldd , @skisk1 , @cfvgbhndun-new-blog , @silantryoo , @phamminji , @bzeus28 , @writingficsblog , @strangegirlcode , @uzumakioden , @noiacha , @sserabey , @archerheejin , @pindoris , @yourstrulytrissmerigold , @jisooftme , @yacii , @ddrummie , @justalittledissociation

[ 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐜𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐝 ]

[76blades]

I can no longer stay silent.

I always feel bad for venting out loud, whether it be publicly or to my Twitter circle (which I have been doing a lot lately, and I’m sorry if it’s been distressing (…my point exactly)). But things have not been ok, nor have shown any significant chances of getting better anytime soon. I know I’m gonna be beating myself up later for posting this, but I’m sick and tired and I can’t stay quiet. I’m desperate for change.

For those who don’t know, Winter’s family (and job) has been severely mentally and emotionally abusing her, and it’s not just because of her gender identity. They’ve threatened and harassed her over her showing any negative emotions, her body, her interests, the food she eats, you name it. Granted, it’s not my tale to tell, but it has been BAD as of late for her, and it definitely has affected me. I might be going through some similar stuff with my dad, but he’s nothing compared to them.

Speaking of, for those who don’t know about my dad, he’s a slightly better version of Winter’s parents; a well-intended asshole but still an asshole. He has caused me to question my sanity and safety several times, and he refuses to acknowledge my anxiety as anything serious, and believes it’s something I can easily control and/or an act I put on. He’s been trying to pull me into college even though I’ve told him several times that I don’t want to, and he’s told me several times that if I don’t follow his advice then I’m only gonna end up nowhere. He certainly doesn’t believe anything regarding Winter’s situation either, and views it all with rose-tinted glasses. 

He also demands to know my entire schedule for the week, that I laugh at his jokes or smile when I don’t want to; and he even touches my shoulders and back without my consent, and he’ll get mad when I express my discomfort. I was dreading having to move back in with him because I knew this would all be happening, only for it to be so much worse. I don’t even feel comfortable recording when he’s home because I’m afraid of him yelling and/or making fun of me. And yet, it’s funny and sad how he’s an absolute saint compared to Winter’s family.

Winter and I have been breaking our backs trying to save up for a new home, but our jobs have been cruel to us on top of our families. We’re being overworked and underpaid, and a good chunk of our paychecks goes towards food and travel expenses. And while we’ve been trying our best to push our comms, we’re still a far way from freedom.

I don’t ever want to come off as a beggar for money, attention, etc., and I feel anxious whenever I boost my comms because of that, and yet I also feel like that’s exactly what I’m doing here. But I need to be transparent with you all about my and Winter’s situation. I am truly afraid that one of might truly snap, with the little remaining of our sanity vanishing in an instant. Tbh I feel like that person is more likely to be me than her. 

Regardless, I’m unsure of what else to do right now other than to keep boosting commissions and whatnot (and I might make a Ko-Fi goal too, idk), but I want to keep finding affective (and healthy) ways to spread awareness of our situation and help bring us a few steps closer to where we want to be.

I know I’ve said that I feel like I’m waiting for a miracle that won’t come, but maybe you all could help us bring that miracle to life. Thank you all for taking time out of your day to read this and support us.

I will be attaching links to my comms and Ko-Fi, as well as Winter’s. If you have any questions or would like to consider commissioning us, feel free to DM or Email either of us.

TLDR: Winter and I are being abused. We're desperate to leave our perspective toxic environments, and we need some extra help.

My Commissions | My Ko-Fi | Winter's Commissions | Winter's Ko-Fi