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rickydixky · 1 year ago

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After Hours • Rick Grimes

a/n • y'all holy shit...this is pretty hardcore. Also if you want to be in a tag list when I drop smut just comment or repost <3. Also sorry if my grammar is ass, I haven't written in a while.

warnings • 18+ ONLY, Dark Rick, filthy smut, daddy kink, slut/whore kink, choking, slapping, oral (m!receiving), throat fucking, hair pulling.

summary • since you want to open your mouth and talk back, Rick has ideas on how to make that mouth more useful.

wc • 2.5 k

“Rick I told you for the thousandth time, I have shit I need to do!” You yelled as he asked you to take over one of his shifts tomorrow. “Like what y/n!” He replied tilting his head to the side. You hated when he acted like this. Like he was in control, like he knew everything. Times like this just made you want to slap the shit out of him. “Don’t play fucking dumb Rick! I have a job to do Rick! I have kids to look after Rick! I have to make sure everyone has there head screwed on right so shit doesn’t hit the fan! Meanwhile you are out and just jacking off with Daryl! I don’t want to hear shit from you Rick! You hear me!”

Rick just stared at you. You noticed that he clinched his jaw and balled up his hands into a fist. You stared back giving him the same treatment. You weren’t scared of him and he didn’t own you. He wanted to but it was difficult to make you budge. This is what happens when two leaders decide they want to mess around. Tension always builds up between two strong leaders.

Rick unclenched his jaw and unraveled his fist. He closed his eyes and sighed. He then looked right back at you. Why did he look so calm all of a sudden? Why isn’t he yelling back at me? He looked at you, his face relaxed. You then saw the corner of his mouth creep up forming a smirk. “You better watch who you are talking to pumpkin.” He said in a soft tone.

You felt his words cut through you. And your heart instantly started to race. “Or what Rick. You aren’t gonna do a fucking thing.” You said with a stern face, but you knew it was all a façade. You were trying to keep it together because you knew what he was capable of. How he was able to ruin you in a matter of seconds.

When he was like this he was intense. It was too much to handle at times but you liked it. You always felt in control but it was exhilarating to not be especially with Rick.

Your eyes followed him as me moved closer. All you could do was freeze and watch his movements. With every step he became closer to you, making you weak. He kept eye contact as he moved forward. Making you feel so helpless and needy.

“I’m not gonna do anything hmm?” Rick whispered in your ear. From your peripheral you could see the huge smirk on his face. He was enjoying every single moment of this and so were you. The room fell silent as you didn’t respond. Ricks head just tilts to the side and looks at you. You make eye contact with him.

“Answer me!” He yells while grabbing a hold of your neck. This forced you to collide with the wall behind you. As a reflex, you gasp for air as you feel his fingertips tighten around your throat. The devilish smirk on his face turns stern as you continue to stay silent. When you didn't obey him this turned him on way too much.

He could feel his jeans get tighter as you looked at him. Those pretty eyes staring into his soul made him weak. But he had to snap out of it to teach you a lesson. You were out of line today and that wasn't going to go unpunished.

"Since you want to act naughty, I'm going to treat you like the whore you are." He whispered in your ear causing a shiver to run down your spine. This was happening right here in the living room. In this house while people were asleep. The thought of someone catching the both of you made your heart race even more.

Rick let go of your throat and looked down at his pants. You looked down as well and followed his hands as he unbuckled his belt. He trailed his fingers to his button and slowly unbuttoned his pants. You were so eager to see him again that you reached for his pants. "Bad girl," you heard him mutter under his breath before he slapped your hands. A soft whimper escaped your lips as you looked back up at him. "Daddy is in control remember that," he says causing you to respond with "Yes Daddy." This brought a smirk to his face because he knew that you would do anything for him now.

"Such a needy little slut for daddy hmm?" he asked as he slowly unzipped his pants. His dick was glued to his jeans so that you could see his print. The thought of him ramming into you drove you insane. You looked up at him and nodded vigorously. A chuckle came from Rick as he watched you become so helpless.

"Get on your knees," he demanded and you obeyed. You slid down to your knees and made direct eye contact with his bulge. You put your hands on your lap and looked up at him. You were fighting the urge to take his dick out of his underwear but you knew that wasn't what you were supposed to be doing.

You saw Rick curl his fingers around the waistband of his jeans and underwear. You instantly placed yourself in position to suck him off. When he slid them down the tip of his dick slapped you on your lips. You imminently licked your lips to you could taste him.

You look and see Rick reach for the back of your head. He wraps your hair in a ponytail with his fingers and grabs his shaft with the other hand. "Are you sorry baby girl? For talking to Daddy like that?" You looked up and saw that smirk on his face again. "No," you replied. You felt a sting on your right cheek as Rick slapped his hard dick across your cheek. "Try again whore." Rick aggressively said. This made your pussy throb with excitement as he used you.

"No Daddy," you moaned. He followed that response with another slap on your face. "Dirty slut," he remarked as you moaned again to his dick being slapped across your cheek. He pulled your head further away from his dick and a slight whimper escaped your lips. "Try again," he says as he lines his dick up with your mouth. "Yes, Daddy I'm sorry," you said staring into his eyes. This made his cock twitch in his hands sending him over the edge.

"Good girl, now open your mouth." He demanded and you obeyed. You closed your eyes and opened your mouth. “Uh-uh, look up at me princess.” He whispered. Your eyes immediately snapped open, looking directly at him. “Suck it up buttercup.” Rick said with a menacing smirk on his face. He guided your head closer to his dick. And with one movement your lips were wrapped around Ricks swollen head.

Rick slowly moves your head closer inward making you open wider to fit all of him inside your mouth. You flick your tongue on his shaft feeling all his veins. Then Rick forces his dick down your throat. “Good girl.” Rick muttered as he saw his whole dick disappear into your mouth.

He slowly guides your head in and out causing him to throw his head back at the sensation of your lips sliding up and down his cock. “You dirty little slut. Right here in the living room?” He grunts and you respond with a moan that vibrates on his dick. His words did wonders to you, making your pussy soaking wet. Making you filled with desire and desperation. You wanted him, you needed him.

Rick looked down and your eyes met. He stopped moving your head and placed both of his hands on the back on your head. He then started to thrust his cock into you mouth. Going slow at first and then slowly picking up the pace. You felt his dick slide in and out of your throat causing you to roll your eyes in the back of your head, followed by a gargled moan. You felt your saliva trail down your chin as he continued to thrust harder and deeper into your mouth.

“Rick I told you for the thousandth time, I have shit I need to do!” You yelled as he asked you to take over one of his shifts tomorrow. “Like what y/n!” He replied, tilting his head to the side. You hated when he acted like this. Like he was in control like he knew everything. Times like this just made you want to slap the shit out of him. “Don’t play fucking dumb Rick! I have a job to do Rick! I have kids to look after Rick! I have to make sure everyone has their head screwed on right so shit doesn’t hit the fan! Meanwhile, you are out and just jacking off with Daryl! I don’t want to hear shit from you Rick! You hear me!”

Rick just stared at you. You noticed that he clenched his jaw and balled up his hands into a fist. You stared back giving him the same treatment. You weren’t scared of him and he didn’t own you. He wanted to but it was challenging to make you budge. This is what happens when two leaders decide they want to mess around. Tension always builds up between two strong leaders.

You felt his words cut through you. And your heart instantly started to race. “Or what Rick? You aren’t gonna do a fucking thing.” You said with a stern face, but you knew it was all a facade. You were trying to keep it together because you knew what he was capable of. How he was able to ruin you in a matter of seconds.

When he was like this he was intense. It was too much to handle at times but you liked it. You always felt in control but it was exhilarating to not be especially with Rick.

Your eyes followed him as he moved closer. All you could do was freeze and watch his movements. With every step he became closer to you, making you weak. He kept eye contact as he moved forward. Making you feel so helpless and needy.

“I’m not gonna do anything hmm?” Rick whispered in your ear. From your peripheral, you could see the huge smirk on his face. He was enjoying every single moment of this and so were you. The room fell silent as you didn’t respond. Rick's head just tilts to the side and looks at you. You make eye contact with him.

You saw Rick curl his fingers around the waistband of his jeans and underwear. You instantly placed yourself in a position to suck him off. When he slid them down the tip of his dick slapped you on your lips. You imminently licked your lips to you could taste him.

"Good girl, now open your mouth." He demanded and you obeyed. You closed your eyes and opened your mouth. “Uh-uh, look up at me princess.” He whispered. Your eyes immediately snapped open, looking directly at him. “Suck it up buttercup,” Rick said with a menacing smirk on his face. He guided your head closer to his dick. And with one movement your lips were wrapped around Rick's swollen head.

Rick slowly moves your head closer inward making you open wider to fit all of him inside your mouth. You flick your tongue on his shaft feeling all his veins. Then Rick forces his dick down your throat. “Good girl,” Rick muttered as he saw his whole dick disappear into your mouth.

He slowly guides your head in and out causing him to throw his head back at the sensation of your lips sliding up and down his cock. “You dirty little slut. Right here in the living room?” He grunts and you respond with a moan that vibrates on his dick. His words did wonders for you, making your pussy soaking wet. Making you filled with desire and desperation. You wanted him, you needed him.

Rick looked down and your eyes met. He stopped moving your head and placed both of his hands on the back of your head. He then started to thrust his cock into your mouth. Going slow at first and then slowly picking up the pace. You felt his dick slide in and out of your throat causing you to roll your eyes in the back of your head, followed by a gargled moan. You felt your saliva trail down your chin as he thrust harder and deeper into your mouth.

You then heard a loud pop and the feeling of your empty mouth. You look up at Rick and he was panting heavily. “Get up.” He demands. You were hesitant because the view of Rick hovering over you excited you. But you did as you were told and rose to your feet and waited for your next order. Rick wipes the saliva off your chin and plants a kiss on your lips. You moan into the kiss as he grabs onto your breast. The kiss gets more intense as you move your hands to the back of his neck. You push him closer wanting him to taste every inch of you. Rick cursed softly to himself as he pushed away to catch his breath.

“Where do you want me?” you breathed looking into his eyes. In response, he bit his lower lip and his eyes wandered around your body. You were giving yourself to him openly and he loved that. He loved the idea of you begging to be fucked like the good girl you are. You could tell he was fantasizing about something by the way he looked at you. And you knew he was going to get what he wanted.

He turned around and his eyes wandered around the living room. Where were his eyes going to land you wondered. The couch? The floor? The coffee table? You couldn’t tell what he was going to pick and this was making you even more needy. His eyes were then glued to the window. “Walk over there sweetie,” he demanded as he pointed at the glass window. You obeyed and walked near the window. His eyes watched you as you walked while slowly following behind you.

“Doesn't the moon look beautiful,” he whispered into your ear, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you closer. You then felt his lips touch your neck causing you to move your head slightly to the side. You closed your eyes and felt him trail kisses down your neck. You moaned in pleasure at the sensation of him being so close to you. But Rick wasn't close enough. Rick slid his hands down to the hem of your pants, wrapping his fingers around the band of your pants and panties. A soft whimper escaped your lips as he slowly slid them down your thighs.

You open your eyes and looked at Rick through the reflection of the window. “Such a needy girl for Daddy hm?” he whispered in your ear. You felt your core tighten at his words. Jesus, he was so good at turning you on. He looked up and your eyes met in the reflection of the window making you instantly reply back to him. “Yes, I need you,” you whispered back to him with desperation in your eyes. “Good girl,” he said moving his fingers towards your entrance. You felt one finger slip between your folds and you couldn’t help but moan loudly. Then you felt two of Rick's fingers sliding on your slick entrance. He slowly started rubbing circles on your clit making you throw your head back. You were so sensitive and it was showing.

“So wet,” Rick whispered in your ear. His fingers were then withdrawn from your entrance and moved toward his mouth. You watched as he licked his fingers clean. You couldn’t help but moan at the sight. You then felt Rick’s hand on your back as he pushed you up against the window.

As a reflex, you placed both of your hands on the glass window. Rick moved his hands against your side, sending shivers down your spine. You felt his dick slap against your core causing you to whimper. Rick saw this as an invitation to finally give you what you wanted. Rick moved one of his hands to the base of his dick so he could line up with your entrance.

You felt your pussy separate as he pressed his tip in you. You hold in your moans but you can't help little noises escaping your mouth. “So tight for me baby,” You hear Rick mutter and you respond with “Just for you.” And with that, Rick thrust all of him inside of you. This time you don't repress the moan and let it echo through the living room.

There you were again. Being dominated by Rick in the nastiest way possible. You felt eyes watching you as Rick started to thrust faster into you. “Such a good slut for daddy,” he whispered as he slapped your ass. A pretty loud moan escaped your lips at his actions. Rick watched his handprint form on your cheek, causing it to turn red. He slapped your ass harder causing your walls to clench around his dick. “Dirty whore,” he grunted causing your eyes to roll back.

In one swift movement, you felt your head jerk back. Rick grabbed a handful of your hair and pulled it. “Don’t cum yet, not until I tell you to.” He whispered in your ear. The way he treated you didn’t make it any better. You were so close and you had to hold out. Rick started to thrust in you faster causing your legs to shake. You took your hand off the window and covered your mouth. The amount of pleasure you were feeling was unbearable.

Rick snatched your hand away from your mouth and folded it behind your back. “Let them hear how good I’m fucking you right now,” Rick demanded. Just like the good girl you are you obeyed, letting your moans escape from your lips and letting the noise echo throughout the house. This pushed Rick over the edge. You being obedient towards him was what he loved.

He looked down and watched how your pussy clenched around his dick with every thrust. He focuses on the sensation of your being against him causing him to moan. He saw the way your legs shook and he knew that you were extremely close. And so was he. He unclenched his fingers around your hair and moved them to your waist. “Baby you feel so good, I’m gonna cum.” he moans. He slows his thrust down and you know he is about to burst.

You push off of him and get on your knees. You wrap your hand around his dick and open your mouth. You move your hands up and down his shaft as he looks at you in the eyes. “Cum deep in my throat,” you demand as you put his dick in your mouth and start sucking. “Y/N!” you heard Rick moan loudly causing you to take all of him in your mouth. You felt warm liquid coat your throat as you saw Rick's eyes roll back. When he was done cumming you didn’t stop sucking causing him to go into overstimulation. Rick threw his head back and started to shake as you continued to suck. You slid his dick out of your mouth and looked up at him.

“Good boy,” you said as a smirk started to form.

my tag list: @catt-leya @sweetz1919 @iluvdixon @justcallmeely @mrfrigginmoseby @gargleme @cherryvalentine1 @rickswh0r3 @multiifandomhoe

#rick grimes #the walking dead #twd #andrew lincoln #rick grimes smut #ricky dicky doo da grimes #rick grimes x reader #rick grimes fanfiction

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gremlin-writes-angst · 7 months ago

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Scraps to a Tank

Chapter two

2.5 k words

Fandom: Redacted Asmr/Audio

TW/CW: Quinn in other words toxic, controlling, abusive relationship. nothing graphic. This is a Boxing/Fighting Au so there is fighting, i wouldn't consider it graphic, but everyone's different so read with your own discretion. Homelessness. Yelling.

Let me know if I missed a trigger or spelling mistake.

Please comment and reblog, it lets me know people like my stuff and encourages me to write more!!!!!!

Two months later

Honestly, Darlin was expecting this to be easier for them.

But two months had passed and David still wouldn't let them in a real ring.

It was more than frustrating.

Day after day, hour after hour they would fight the same two people.

And that was if David was feeling nice.

Most days it was just punching bags and lifting.

They were itching to do more.

To fight new people.

To fight in a ring.

In front of an audience.

The adrenaline from that was something they craved.

Even when it was staged, and they lost. Hearing the crowd's reaction. Feeling the blood dripping from their face. Feeling the sweat cover their body.

They were an addict.

And David was keeping them sober.

They were using their frustration to attack the punching bag. They weren't planning on stopping anytime soon.

" You don't seem too happy"

Darlin's new friend, sweetheart intersects. Sweetheart watches as they take off their gloves, seemingly done with their practice for the day.

Darlin huffs.

Sweetheart watches for a while. After a minute or two they look around, no one else is in the gym. So they propose an idea

" would you want to spare?"

Darlin stops punching the bag, excitement distracts them, barely stopping the bag before it could swing back.

Darlin takes a few large breaths, catching the lungs up.

Sweetheart starts strapping their gloves back on

" No one's here, you wouldn't get in trouble"

Sweetheart walks away, yelling to account for the distance as they climb into one of the rings

Darlin smirks grabs their water, and takes a large sip before practically skipping to the ring sweetheart resided in.

" I'm not worried about that"

Darlin climbs into the ring. Sweetheart cocks an eyebrow

"Oh, so what are you worried about then?"

Their voice drips with a taunting tone

Darlin bounces on their feet a little

"You. Not sure if you remember the last time we fought."

Sweetheart lets out a short but genuine laugh.

"Oh, I remember. I remember letting you win."

" so you're saying you let me headbutt you"

" yes, in fact, I told you so seconds before you did it"

" I don't recall that."

Darlin was lying, this was just a little friendly shit talk before a fight. To ramp them up, and it was working.

Both fighters were ready. They circled each other while holding eye contact.

They both knew the first swing would come at any moment.

Darlin planned to Strick first, but first, they gave one more small push with their words

" must be the hit you took."

Darlin felt the signals in their brain move to take action, a simple swing to sweetheart's left cheek. But before anything connected, a voice boomed from across the room

" What do you two think you're doing?"

David

Both fighters dropped their hands.

Darlin rolls their eyes as Sweetheart whispers an apology

Darlin doesn't let up though. They were tired of this

" What does it look like we were doing?"

They didn't dare call him any names but they really, really wanted to

" What it looked like was you two were about to fight. When you both know you're not supposed to."

Darlin shaped back

"And why's that? We're both awesome ass fighters, so why can't we have a little sprawl"

David looked to sweetheart. They knew the answer, at least their answer.

"You want to know?"

Darlin rolls their eyes and lets their head fall back in annoyance

"Yes. Are you even listening?"

David began to walk to his office

"Fine. Wash up a meet me in here"

Darlin's eyes lit up, and they immediately headed to his office. That was before David glared them down.

" I said to wash up first"

Darlin took a breath, holding back the anger they felt. They forced a tight smile and walked away and toward the locker room.

In minutes they were sitting in David's office. David sat at his desk. Darlin on the other side. Without saying anything David's turned the computer screen toward Tank

The screen shows a steady shot of two fighters.

Darlin and Asher.

Darlin remembers this fight, there wasn't anything special about the fight.

They just remember because David set up a tripod.

Being filmed didn't change how they fought.

It was a good fight. They lost but they always lost. But the fight still felt amazing.

So why film it?

It was like every other fight they had with Asher.

So why show them it?

David Interrupts their thoughts.

" I want you to pay attention to Asher. See how he fights from this perspective."

Darlin leaned back into the chair, already annoyed with this task

" I've seen Asher fight before."

David sighs

" I know, just- just watch the video"

They do as he says, though they're more focused on how intently David is watching them.

They felt belittled

He didn't trust them.

Not like he should

They really didn't see the point in watching a video when they saw Asher fight, I person about a hundred times now.

They figured if David was going to watch them so closely they might as well do as their told.

They focus on Asher, their fight is about halfway over at this point. At least that's what the recall. There's no indicator of who's winning yet. Just two fighters, fighting.

Then Asher laughs

He's known for his laugh

He's named after it.

Tank begins to roll their eyes at the obnoxious sound, it was pointless really.

But then they caught something.

Asher's body was practically split in two.

The side closer to Tank was moving one way. Fast, a clear attack.

But the other side was staying back just a little bit.

Darlin watched as they blocked Asher's first attack only to be thrown off and hit, square in the face by Asher's other hand.

Darlin remembers that.

He did that move a lot, but they never caught the pattern until now.

Because from the opponent's view, there is nothing to see.

It is invisible.

Tank is drawn in now.

Asher pulls the same trick over and over till he wins.

Though it is not the same, it is always a different move, a different combination. He has no clear dominant hand. No clear strategy. Not to the opponent at least. The only sign is that laugh.

It's a giveaway

But he still gets away with his sneak attack every time.

David watches as Tank's brain starts to pick at Asher's moves.

He glared door it but he's afraid their missing the big picture.

" Now watch you"

Darlin is actually interested now.

It's like their not even watching themselves because all they can think about is how stupid this fighter has to be, to fall for Asher's trick

David restarts the video

Darlin watches themselves very intensely. And yet they noticed nothing before the video ended

They were perfect. Practically at least. All their throws were strong, their timing was amazing, and their blocks were fast.

So what was wrong?

They looked to David

Hoping he'd help

Reluctantly he questioned

" What difference between the two of you."

"Well, Ashers did that thing."

"No. Not what you did differently. What is the difference between the two of you."

"Well, he is Asher and I'm Tank. We're different people."

David tries to relax, Tank was definitely his most frustrating trainee

" How are you two fighting, that is different?"

"Repeating the same question doesn't help. And we are both trained by you so nothing."

David looks into their eyes, he blinks. He's annoyed.

" Then why did he win? You are both trained by me and both lift the same amount, your strength is equivalent. Why did he win?"

" I.don't.know"

Tank wanted David to answer for them.

David refused to let that happen.

"Watch again. This time watch your chest and face. Ashers too."

Tank held eye contact with David.

David didn't back down either

" you'll watch this video until you figure it out."

Tank sighed before letting their eyes move back to the screen.

Once again the video played. And though they wanted to pay attention to the punching, they did as David said.

They watched their chest, move up and down consistently. They watched how fast they were breathing, how fast their chest reddened and covered in sweat. They looked over at Asher, it was completely different. He was still sweating but his breathing was slow.

They look back at themselves. They pay attention to their face, their eyes were rapid. Focused on Asher's arms.

Ashers were sharp, staying locked onto Tank's full body.

The video ended.

David asked again

" What is different between you and Asher?"

"We breathe differently."

They were proud to find the answer

" So?"

They weren't so proud anymore

"So what? The question was what was different. And now you're asking more."

" yes. I am. So why is the breathing important?"

" How the hell am I supposed to know. You are the teacher, you're supposed to tell me."

David doesn't reply, he waits for them to work it out

" So what if I'm fast, I move fast, so I breathe fast, s9 my eyes move fast."

"Why?"

It became too much too fast. They jumped out of the chair. They pushed past David and left the office

" I don't know David. God do you not understand that."

David followed the stubborn fighter out. He knew they were getting there.

" Fighters fight differently. So why does it matter if I was sweating more or if my eyes were watching his arms? Why was he watching my body? I mean the real question is why wasn't he paying attention to my arms? Why wasn't he fighting as hard as I was? Does he not see me as a real competitor? It's infiltrating. I'm good, maybe not perfect, but I'm a good fighter. It makes me so angry. How am I supposed to focus when I'm this fucking angry?"

They go quiet, fast. Then they mummer the last sentence again.

The realization makes them angrier

Their to fucking angry

“Fuck! It's cause I'm too angry. Right?

David's face confirmed exactly what they thought.

“I need to be angry David! That's all I have, it's all I have. I need it. I need it to be strong, it's how I live!”

David was a teacher

A great one

Because he cares

Even if it wasn't always obvious

But at this moment Tank could see it clearly

David stepped closer wanting to be some comfort

Tank stepped back.

They weren't scared

Not of David

Just what he was trying to do

As much as they wanted to turn around and run away, never returned.

David was right

He always was

And they were in the best position they've ever been in their life.

They were stronger and still learning

They were surrounded by people who wanted that

Who helped them both as a fighter and a person

They were surrounded by friends

They didn't notice when tears started to flood their eyes

They refused to notice the tears

They got quieter

They don't remember the last time they were this vulnerable

Or just vulnerable

“It's how I got away David”

David stayed still

He could understand to an extent

They needed to be heard

He knew any interruptions could make them run.

so he stayed still.

“I can't let the anger go, as soon as I do I'm done. So don't, don't tell me that the problem.”

David let the silence settle

Tank sniffled

When David felt it was safe he spoke

“ You don't have to let it go”

Tank scoffs

“ You don't. How badly do you want this? To be a fighter, a great fighter?”

The energy in the room shifted

“I need it, David”

Tank's voice was almost desperate. David knew they wanted to say more but something stopped them.

“ Then you have to listen to me. Don't let go of your anger, it will be useful. Store it, let it build. Let it build and use it when needed. You don't need to be angry at Milo, Asher, or sweetheart. You need to save that anger for a real fight, when your dignity is on the line when your opponent doesn't see you as a worthy opponent. For now, you store it. While you learn how to fight without it.”

For a minute the tension in the gym was suffocating.

Then Tank laughed and smiled at David

“That's the Best advice you've ever given”

David's lips lifted, just enough for Tank to consider it a smile

“Thanks, my dad said something similar when I was young. So it's mostly his advice.”

“ don't sell yourself short, David.”

“You're one to talk.”

The two stood there with partial grins. The conversation was over, it was clear to both of them yet no one was leaving.

David was expecting Tank to leave, everyone else was gone, and the gym was officially closed

“Do you need something else?”

David asked with his normal amount of annoyance in his voice

“No”

Tank answered

“ then you are free to go”

Tank's face changed to one of realization, though David thought it to be one of exhaustion

Tank finally looked away and made their way toward their bag. Once they grabbed it they headed to the door.

David right behind to lock it after they left.

Tank grabbed the handle and pulled before letting go and spinning around rather quickly.

“ David, I don't want to leave”

David was reaching his limit for the day, he didn't want to play any more games with Tank.

“Too bad, I'm kicking you out, go home.”

David reached around and opened the door for Tank. The cold hit him quickly as he stood outside waiting for Tank.

But they just stood there

“That's the thing, David, I don't have a home.”

Even though they had a strange lightheartedness, almost joking tone to their voice. David was fast to take this confession seriously. He slowly walked back in allowing the door to close

Intimidated and scared, Tank backed further into the building and started to overshare

“Ive been staying here. I don't use anything that's not mine. I just sleep.”

David held down his distaste about Tank staying before asking. He wanted to focus on the fact that they were in need.

“You can continue to stay here, just make sure you clean up before anyone shows up. And for future reference don't ever do shit like that behind my back.”

“ Of course, the first time it was an accident. Still sorry for not asking. I don't really make enough to pay you what I should but I do have some-”

“ no, I don't need your money Tank.”

“But I-”

“You staying here doesn't change how much rent or utilities cost, that is as long as you aren't taking extra showers or anything. So I don't need the money, you just save up while you stay here so that you can get a place.”

“Thanks, David”

“Yeah, no problem. Ive got some paperwork to do in my office. I'll lock up now and say goodbye before I go.”

#redacted asmr #redactedverse #fanfic #redacted darlin #redacted angst #redacted audio #redacted quinn #redacted fanfic #redacted david #redacted au #redacted milo #redacted asher #boxing #fighting #redacted sweetheart

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utilitycaster · 2 months ago

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I HAVE VEILGUARDED. everything below the cut for spoiler reasons. I will also say to the anon I shut down earlier (again, me not you!) that I do intend to do a second run because I had a marvelous time, I would really love to do the Dock Town quests and explore Neve's other options (and romance her, frankly) and check out some of the other companion options (honestly I'd be open to almost all of them except for Lichdom. sorry I refuse to leave Manfred dead and I'm correct.) and maybe this time I'll actually solve the stupid wisp puzzles and get all the chests and uhhhhh maybe even play on Easy mode instead of Easier Than Easy mode (because lbr my equipment does not matter a ton because. story mode.)

because I am a good girl and did all the quests everyone lived. I also accidentally got the best ending, because Rook in this run is a romantic and optimistic person. This is funny to me because I am god's greatest hater and so I am ROLEPLAYING a character who is like yeah inquisitor go be with your boyfriend who looks like a stupid egg. I did have the Diet Essence Of Mythal but I've been informed the secret even better ending only hits if you know other past characters, which I don't, so whomst cares!

Takes on characters from previous games in brief. Obviously Harding is great. Solas gets his happy ending and that is FINE I guess. Generic Default Inquisitor Lavellan is like. again Rook is like "do what makes you happy but I am like DUMP HIM. which means that while Morrigan is very "I say things in a portentous voice that are extremely obvious" to me, her deep and abiding hater tendencies towards Solas do it for me. Obviously Varric is great as well. Dorian and Mae? Great (unsure if Mae is in previous games but anyway, love her). Not sure who else is a returning character but I think that covers the bulk of it.

This is very out of order but: because no one died other than of course Davrin in the Isle of the Gods, the pay respect for the dead scene is unintentionally really fucking funny to me, a person who has had to go into morgues for professional reasons. Literally like I walk into a morgue where I know zero people. I walk out. I pass Teia and Viago flirting aggressively as an archdemon ravages Minrathous. I continue.

The final conversations are really good; blighted Neve is of course horrifying but she gets better and her nailpolish, crucially, is not chipped. This is HILARIOUS to me. The final romance line with Bellara is lovely. The ending conversations are all really good but Taash's and Emmrich's were my favorite outside of Bellara's. My girlfriend and I are going to hang out with griffons and she's going to write so much fanfiction about us and it will be unhinged.

Hilarious and sexy of me to wear the appearance of the shadow dragons armor I got literally in like. Shadows of Minrathous or something. the entire fucking time. You can see it in the screenshots and I assure you it's only for the vibes (deep V neck and sick chest tats), I am actually in +8 Warden Champion full plate armor and wearing some wild-ass helm (I did not at any point hide the appearance of my shield. even when I was using the gaudiest gold one that looks like a shell from the lords of fortune. I eventually got a very sick-ass Mourn Watch shield). But it does feel really funny to like, pick Treviso, send Neve to the shadow realm, and wear this armor the full time. I literally didn't see Tarquin for like 2.5 acts.

Elger'nan's first form is weak to necrotic damage. I took Taash and Lucanis. I am fully statted out as a reaper. I have an AOE that does over a thousand necrotic damage. genuinely it was a comedy, I triggered the cut scene where Neve goes to the throne and wrests control so Solas can kill the archdemon almost immediately. Second battle was harder but also level 50 story mode so it was FINE.

I do think a Trick Solas ending would be fun; fighting him seems like it would just kind of suck but like. It's funny I actually really did feel grateful after Blood of Arlathan and then after he stuck me in the mind prison I was like FUCK THIS GUY FOR REAL even after he helped us through in the endgame and killed the archdemon.

Lords of Fortune continue to be hilarious to me. There's a codex that's very BY OUR POWERS COMBINED right before the final assault on Minrathous that I described thusly:

Then in the final scene before the narration the Lords are pulling people out of the wreckage. Imagine you're in a world-ending fight during an eclipse with wild-ass mood lighting and you are trapped under rubble as a horrifying blight tentacle monster rages above and then it all stops and THEN someone in a gold bikini helps you up.

In all seriousness the fact that the Mourn Watch and Lords of Fortune don't come up in the final narration does have me like. yeah whoever wrote their faction quests should have worked harder. I know the mourn watch is largely unscathed because there's no point blighting the undead but like, idk, I feel there could have been more venatori work there that tied into Zara's whole deal, and the Antaam or Wardens ties to Rivain could have been more thoroughly explored. Taash and Emmrich's companion questlines are fantastic but even playing Mourn Watch and loving the build and the vibe, I was like hmmmm this is underserved.

Second hater moment: loved the song over the credits but it felt jarring as hell to have a modern sound here. stick to the hans zimmer. this reminds me, I should listen to the soundtrack because as my Midst Mutuals can attest I am literally the worst at noticing themes. I know Harding's and Emmrich's because I really like them and like, I vaguely recall Lucanis's because it's got accordion elements but otherwise I'm like uhhhhh if it's not the main theme or the Solas theme I'm confused.

I also realized that hilariously, if you like Neve or Lucanis but are ok with romancing someone else (and I very much am) it's actually kind of great to fuck over their city because then you feel justified in taking them out on every single mission to try to up your bond level.

Finished with Lucanis, Harding, and Bellara fully level 10 and everyone else level 9 (including Davrin, RIP); I do wonder how you can get everyone to 10. I might have assigned some quests badly but also like, 9 ain't bad.

anyway feel free to ask questions; this was great and I'm so happy I did it.

#m guards the veil #datv spoilers

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tache-noire · 10 months ago

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im gonna complain about the tiktokification of cosplay for a bit

i have 2 main issues with this

1: it's FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE to just find still images of people's cosplays anymore! everyone's just making goddamn lipsynch videos with seizure-inducing cuts and effects on them! I can't see the work you've done, how something was put together, how your wig was styled, your props and makeup, etc!!!!!

1.5: this extends to tutorials too! fucking stop with the 3 part tutorials that spend 5 seconds on each step and literally just amount to "sew a costume! you're done!"

2: Because the main way people show off their cosplays now is through social media instead of at conventions (I used to see extremely elaborate cosplayers at anime conventions ALL THE TIME, now it's mostly casual to mid-level cosplay-- which is not a dig at them at all, just listen to me for a second), I seriously feel like the art of balancing quality with long-term wearability is dying. You are not wearing that heavy ass wig constructed from 4 other wigs, a full face of makeup, a tight vinyl costume, and platform stilettos FOR 8 HOURS AT A CONVENTION, don't bullshit me. All I see are cosplays built to be worn for maybe 30 minutes of filming a 2 minute video.

2.5: AGAIN, TUTORIALS. I DON'T NEED TO KNOW HOW TO MAKE A FRAGILE ART PIECE, I NEED TO KNOW HOW TO MAKE A PROP THAT I CAN CARRY OR SHOVE IN MY BAG AND PROBABLY GET BUMPED INTO SEVERAL TIMES. WHERE ARE YOUR POCKETS MY GUY. HOW ARE YOU HANDLING VENTILATION AND OVERHEATING IN THAT COSTUME THAT COVERS YOUR HEAD AND HANDS AND FEET AND MOST OF YOUR SKIN.

#cosplay

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saturdaynightghostclub · 12 days ago

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Toady’s 2024 Book Awards!

I’m obviously not a BookToker, but I do love watching everyone’s reading wrap-up videos and I want to be included, so here are my 2024 reading superlatives!

(Obviously my opinion is my opinion, if you love a book I hated or vice versa then I love that for you)

Total books read: 46

Top genres: Literary, fantasy, classics

Average rating: 3.98

DNFed: 11 (your girl’s a quitter)

Most Surprising: Just Kids by Patti Smith

I’m not a huge fan of Patti Smith’s music, so I didn’t expect to care much about her memoir when it was recommended to me; the thing is though, Patti really doesn’t seem to think of herself as a musician. She’s a deeply flawed individual whose choices I frequently balked at, but who possesses the unique ability to contextualize her own story within a moment in time. 5/5.

Most Disappointing: The Lost Story by Meg Shaffer

Dear fucking god, I hated every second of this. The premise had serious potential, but it was offset by half-assed characterization, clunky dialogue, and baffling narrative and stylistic choices. This is maybe the meanest thing I’ve ever said about a book, but I swear it’s out of love because I truly think this could have been great: this is a classic example of typing versus writing. Meg Shaffer typed an entire book without writing a single thing. I beg you: step away from the thesaurus, read your sentences out loud, and learn how to write a whole person without depending on outside factors to define them for you. 2.5/5.

Wildest Ride: Long Island Compromise by Taffy Brodesser-Akner

This filled the Succession-shaped hole in my heart. I could not have put it down if you’d paid me, which wasn’t surprising considering Brodesser-Akner’s track record. This is an author who knows how to grip you, and while she has you she’ll make sure you’re laughing. It’s genuinely so hard to be funny in writing, but she always manages to make me crack up while simultaneously showing me the most vile, embarrassing, horrifying aspects of humanity. 4.75/5.

Most Controversial: The Salt Grows Heavy by Cassandra Khaw

Okay hear me out. I hated this, but not because it was bad. It wasn’t bad, the premise and plot were interesting and I was impressed that Khaw was able to pace the novella so efficiently, especially because horror tends to want more context than that format allows. The thing I hated (and I do seem to be the only one, so forgive me) was the prose. Every single sentence reminded me of those “Things That Sound Like They Came From the Bible But Actually Came From Tumblr” posts, and while a lot of people seem to enjoy that style of writing, I found it to be completely bogged down in itself. Untangling the mess of adverbs was so tedious that I almost couldn’t follow the plot, and what sucks is that the over-writing really served no purpose. 2.5/5.

I Feel Like I’m Taking Crazy Pills: The Book of Doors by Gareth Brown

I have never felt so gaslit by a book in my entire life. The bookish internet would have you believe that this is top-tier worldbuilding, characterization, etc etc etc but I am here to tell you that the entire thing is ass. I couldn’t actually believe how ass it was. And still I see people putting this on their “Best of 2024” lists as if it was anything but shit from a butt. Rated 3/5 stars for the “twist” at the end, but honestly this is a 1-2 star book.

Best Contemporary: The Book of Love by Kelly Link

This did not work for everyone. That’s completely understandable. Parts of it were questionable to me too. However. I was so gripped by Link’s writing style, her depth of character, and the freaky, uncanny charm of the world she’d created that I forgive the more depraved parts of the plot in what I think is a testimony to the fact that, in writing, craft matters. This book pulled me into itself by force; it had been a long, long time since I’d been so engrossed, and I immediately felt like a little kid again, reading late into the night even though I knew I’d be a mess the next day. 5/5.

Best Classic: Stoner by John Williams

This book put words to feelings I didn’t know there was even language to express. I’m stunned that it’s not considered a foundational text in the canon of English literature; having read it, I feel like I can trace the origins of everything from The Holdovers to The Secret History. 5/5.

My Favorite, But: The Ministry of Time by Kaliane Bradley

Okay so the writing is occasionally cringe, yes. Also, it’s weird that the love interest is a real historical figure. Totally. The main character is irredeemable for sure, and the ending is wack. Every single critique of this book is completely valid and I don’t disagree with any of them. And also this is hands-down my favorite book of the year. Nothing I’ve read since has compared, it was like a super-intense dopamine hit that I’ll never be able to attain again. It’s wildly smart, painfully self-aware, genre-defying, and somehow it also manages to be extremely fun and sexy. This may not be your favorite book, but if nothing else it will keep you on your toes. 5/5.

Honorable mentions: Fleishman is in Trouble by Taffy Brodesser-Akner, The Orchard by David Hopen, The Talented Mr. Ripley by Patricia Highsmith, Where Angels Fear to Tread by E.M. Forster, Erasure by Percival Everett, and The Heart in Winter by Kevin Barry

Dishonorable mentions: The Magicians trilogy by Lev Grossman, The Bellwether Revivals by Benjamin Wood, Graveyard Shift by M.L. Rio, and Magic for Liars by Sarah Gailey

#i love to talk and i want to be included #the booktokers the booktubers and toady too if it’s not too much trouble thanks guys #there were so many books this year that were just not memorable i’m afraid #but these ones stood out for whatever reason enjoy mwah!#toady talkin

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cerastes · 1 year ago

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HG be like: "my new boss boobbo bear, who steals DP from you to deploy their own units on the tiles around them every 12.5 seconrds, and if they are blocked they steal SP from the operator blocking them to deal 5 instances of true damage to everyone around them in a 2.5 block radius with damage dminishing based on length but also when they hit 50% hp they enter phase 2 where they steal SP from every operator on the map to do a map wide explosion and become unblockable and continue to steal SP in a 3x3 square around them and every time they let off an explosion they gain a shield that reflects 300% damage taken that lasts for 12 seconds an

Nah, they make good bosses, mostly, the game’s enemy info screen just sucks ass and it becomes worse when they start using Fancy Names for abilities and then refusing to concisely explain the abilities.

#xoyvsstuffs

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wonderfulworldofmichaelford · 9 months ago

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The theme song to "My Gym Partner's A Monkey"

One must consider when crafting a theme song that it needs to truly set a show up, and has it ever been done better than in the CN classic My Gym Partner's a Monkey?

I used to go to a human school, where everyone was the same. But, now I go to an animal school, cuz Lyon's my last name.

Thus speaks Adam Lyon, are charming and charismatic protagonist. He delivers the premise to the show in such a succinct and yet incredibly detailed way; we truly get a feeling for the sort of world he inhabits based on these opening lines alone.

But then the entire song is pulled down by this exchange:

Bullshark, porcupine, I don't know what. Going to this school's a pain in the - Adam! What? I was gunna say "neck". Oh, well that's okay then.

Obviously, the clear rhyme choice here would be "butt." But for some reason, Jake Spidermonkey, known ass enthusiast, interrupts the song (or should I say "butts in") to keep the lyrics clean? After the first lines went to such great lengths to establish the tone and setting, it's genuinely depressing to see this blatant character ASS-assination of Jake. He would not fucking say that.

Anyway they say "monkey" 21 times in the course of forty seconds so I give it a 2.5/5.

#ford analyzes tunes and song stuff #FATASS #my gym partner's a monkey

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gojonanami · 11 months ago

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would it be fine if I go ahead and write a long ass speech on why prof geto is so attractive to me?

I'm hoping it is. And hence (feel free to ignore this, please) --

Look. In a world full of "high value men" (by that I mean rich and smart basically) who are seeking a feminine women who'd cook for them and do all the household task for them without a second thought or complain, professor geto helped me revive my trust. How?

So look. As a woman myself, I'm a hustler. I have big dreams. I have a long term vision. And the kind of men I'm attracted to are the ones who can keep up with me and my mental and emotional frequency (basically prof geto - fit ✅ mature ✅ rich ✅ don't come at me for being materialistic, I hold myself to these standards so it's only fair to do for that one person I'll be spending the most time of my life with) but apparently, such men (atleast that I know of irl and on social media) are into more "gender roles" saturated relationships.

I literally had one of my friends telling me "I don't care if she earns, as a male it's my job to provide so I don't care. If she does then good for her, but I don't want that interrupting all the household works. I need her to be feminine." "She needs to do the cooking, it's more women suited." And it kinda hurts? Specially if it's coming from someone i actually find inspiring?! Like do you think being feminine is all about cooking and birthing? Imagine working all your teenage and twenties to build and empire and your life partner just doesn't respect or care about it? Imagine earning as much as him but when you come home you gotta cook while he can chill because "gender roles". Huh? Not acceptable to me.

But it's fine I suppose, everyone has different needs. And the way they assign their ideal types fits into those needs, besides it's only meant for 1 person out of the 8 billion, but it can become concerning when the kind of men you are into expect you to be a certain way (which is suppressing for you. I mean sure, if that's what you want I can do it to make you happy but it'd make me miserable. Absolutely miserable. And I was trying to think of contradictions and convincing arguments on why women who are independent and more "masculine" ; because being a hustler and "too" career oriented is that apparently, still attractive.) And then I opened Tumblr and saw your posts.

🧍🏻‍♀️well.

*sobs* prof geto would neverrrr

And then I got my assurance that there still are men out there who'd appreciate it and find my (context : materialistic) success inspiring! Who'd be attracted to my brains basically ( ͡⁠°⁠ ͜⁠ʖ⁠ ͡⁠°⁠)⁠☞

For whom, having the quality of a traditional wives isn't one of the top priority, they'd build relationships on something as core of a value as love. That not all men are stupid and realise the "duties division" in a relationship isn't as crucial as finding "love" in itself is. That finding love and someone compatible is more important and then other issues such as who does what can be divided as per convenience later on.

So yes. In conclusion. Thank you for blessing my life with this assurance and prof geto, Sabina. I was so disturbed and seeing your blog on my feed and getting reminded of prof geto did calm me down in the click of a finger. Pardon me if this was too long, not something you like to talk about, too vague (which I suppose it was, because the conversation with my colleague that I'm talking about was 2.5 hours long lol 😭). Feel free to not reply to this.

🤩 anon.

ahhh no I completely feel this — I’m so glad prof geto could give you some hope!! I wanna say there’s someone like this out there — and even if not, we can be as kind as prof geto is to ourselves 💕🥹

there shouldn’t be any duties division based on gender when it comes to love — it should be on the person’s capabilities and strengths and convenience like you said!! I’m glad this silly story could be a source of hope for you!! 💕😭 it means so much

#sab [asks]#sab [anons]#sab series [prof suguru]

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sonya-eve · 2 years ago

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Rating Enhypen members by how marites they are💥🕺

Jungwon:

8/10

He would have all the tea about his members and he'll start to tell everyone like a mother embarrassing her kid👏

Heeseung:

5/10

Probably would keep secrets but he would point out the most obvious shit😁

Ni-ki:

1/10

The brat will tell on his hyungs and report you for child abuse

Jake:

4/10

He'll listen to you but forget everything you just said within a second😄

Jay:

2.5/10

He will literally start scolding you and give you a whole ass life lesson💥

Sunghoon:

3/10 (3 + 4 = 7) [7/10]

He'll make fun of you and be stubborn because he gives off a princess attitude because he slays (+4 points for princess attitude and for being a baby girl)

Sunoo:

10000000/10

Y'ALL DON'T EVEN- HE WAS BORN FOR THIS he would spill EVERYTHING TO YOU very hot tea😍

Now you can obviously tell who my bias is😁

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sillygoofychampion · 6 months ago

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I think this take is so ass. Not only have I never seen someone say it’s “unintellectual” but I also think it’s just being dense on purpose. A good, thick chunk of romance in media is nothing but goopy filler in which nothing of substance is brought to the table. 1 male and 1 female are in the same room together for 2.5 seconds and all the sudden they’re in love. The ENTIRE story would not be changed an iota and it often times would actively be better if the romance was just….left out.

Also! As an aromantic, this post just seems…silly as hell. I’m glad romance is fundamental, to you, but it’s not for everyone. And certainly not everything is about romantic love or has to be. Hell, romance is fun! I’ve dated for fun. My special interest is dating games, one in particular but I play many!!! I’ve enjoyed romantic fan arts since I was little. But it’s not everything nor does it have to be.

Just because most media includes romance, does not mean that it’s good and awsome and needs to be the case every time. It’s fucking boring and annoying that romance is always the b plot. It can actively take away from the story, it often lacks true substance, and the implication that romance always needs to happen is just not true. There are plenty of people who just…don’t feel romance. And we’re doing wonderful.

Last but not least on the “not paying enough attention” part….do you know how to read..? Not as in just reading words, but it seems you’ve forgotten that art is an interpretative activity? 20 people sit down to read a book, all of them from wildly different backgrounds, and even though there might be a common consensus everyone’s going to have a different interpretation. That’s…the joy and fun in art. That anyone can look at art and take something different from it. What’s this desire to just boil everything down to one base meaning that doesn’t actually mean all that much to a good chunk of people?

i think it is funny, that romance is seen as such an unintellectual and superficial thing to write about. because it is so fundamental to us. to want to love and be loved. if you don't think every great work of literature. philosophy. metaphysics. was ultimately about romance. i don't think you were paying enough attention.

#writing #aromantic #art #this takes always killed me #because art is fun and awsome #romance can be fun and awsome #this makes both of those things less fun and awsome and more awkwardly forced

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sophism84 · 27 days ago

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When I think of you the air gets lighter, it feels as if things are not so serious. That there’s this calm, calm about the fact we met. I was going through so much it didn’t quite land I didn’t know you. I don’t quite understand my life but people come to me when they’re struggling. I seem to point them in the way of the exit so they don’t have to. I didn’t realize that by telling you what I thought were facts would help you so much. I figured since it was a fact to me that you had heard it before. But it changed you the minute you read it. What I didn’t expect in return was for you do to have a laser pointer spotlight right on my life. We were reflections of eachothers lives. But we had instructions written on us. You could see in my life what my state therapist couldn’t tell or wouldn’t. And I told you what I thought everyone saw in the cycle that is the industry. Apparently I freed you. Unfortunately you just hurt me. I wasn’t ready. See as usual lol I was being strong for my family I had big choices I was making and I was in no shape to be making them. An unfit horse had to carry the world and be a cheerleader for a posse she created. And you wanted to me address something I had to do since I was 16 and heard it in prayer and argued w god I couldn’t leave them all behind I loved them their my people. This had led to me at 16 on a campaign of prayer where I fasted and argued w god and my bro, mom got “saved” my dad stood in church got teary eyed but didn’t budge the bitterness strong w that one. Anyway.

Do you talk to god? Cause you echoed his words. Or was it that what you saw was so painfully obvious like I thought about your situation you couldn’t help but see it?

The night in question when you put yourself in such a position to break the internet anonymity, and asked for my coordinates. Almost demanding. You had no idea what was on my plate and what was I doing? Making time for you. Talking to you, cause I kinda liked you. You had been going through it and apparently didn’t have anyone fucking close to you that could see through the trees. Anyway, you were not nice. I was struggling and just needed someone, you could’ve just used kind words. It is what it is.

But the funnnnnnnnnnnyyyyyyy ending is hysterical day before I have to leave and I go see him, I had been holding it together pretty well but then he asked me w question I can’t remember, the dam broke. I was hysterical in 2.5 seconds. Dude COULD NOT deal eyes wide patting my head I think? Idk I can’t even remember. I just broke up w him and left. I had more money than I had ever in my life in my bank account and I chose to spend my night on the wood floor of my room. I don’t know why I felt so powerless when I didn’t have to. I put my eggs in an emotionally unavailable distant but kind and loving absent minded man who wanted loyalty but couldn’t handle loving someone into it. I guess I was mad at myself or maybe I felt like I didn’t deserve any better. But I look back and I could’ve gotten a fucking nice ass hotel room. I wouldn’t have mattered lol.

So anyway I woke up yesterday and everything just flowed the air felt light and I had this warm feeling about you. You came directly to my mind and I smiled. As if we had spent the night reminiscing and there was this warm feeling. The air felt light. I wanted to talk to you. I had so much to say w a smile on my face. I imagined if no one else in the world existed we could just sit in a field of wildflowers taller than our waists and get lost. No one could see us, not a soul would exist but us. How did we get there? In a silly sporty thing w the top down. Your tussled locks blow in the wind, my knotty mess tangles. You grab a clip, “pin it babe”. We smile nothing can touch us. We fly to our spot. Where we picnic the day away until we watch the sun set. Anyway. I’m fighting an incredibly hard battle and I thought what a lovely thing if you were here, if I’d let you show up. If I let you be there for me. Cause Halloween was such a weird coincidence. And idk when I think of you I got mad but like I still love you. Idk you’re a happy memory. Like a sunny day w a light breeze and you have no where to be happy, a light freedom. The thought of you is a light freedom. Cherished. Wish we were still talking but as I’ve heard you sing, karma rules.

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abrahammutton · 4 months ago

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This gon' be a long one, folks

I had a really weird experience in 2018. For those of you who’ll read my stuff more often, you’ll see it was a really impactful year. Anyway, I don’t know if I can call it a near-death experience, but it certainly felt like it.

For context, I recently quit my job as a cook after 2.5 years. I was about to get promoted as I got the owner's trust. He asked me to keep him updated on how things are running and if anything I noticed could be fixed to make work easier for all of us. I was thrilled to hear this, and after a busy brunch service on Sunday, I had my first critique.

My sous chef was relatively young and inexperienced, so it should be no surprise that she didn’t help us much. To make matters more complicated, the entire line cook staff was relatively new, with the sole exception being me. So, my critique was to get everyone more experience on the other stations so service could go more smoothly. This feels pretty harmless, right? Well, I woke up the following day to a text from my sous chef telling me that I should ‘shut the fuck up and know my place.’ I was a ‘stupid line cook who knew nothing they were talking about.’ She said she was way better than me, and I told her, ‘If you think I’m so useless, then have fun running the kitchen yourself.’

Yup, I quit and never looked back. I heard from a friend that she gave her two weeks less than a month after I left and stopped going to work after 1 of those two weeks since she broke down crying, not being able to handle it.

This seems like a win, but it sparked something deep in me. I realized I hated who I was and that no one liked me there. The sad reality is that while she was horrible for saying those things, I wasn’t doing much better by being a total dick to so many people cause I hated myself.

To prove my point, I got the last write-up to fire someone because he wasn’t the fastest worker, talked a lot, and the sous chef didn’t like him. I closed the kitchen with him and found something he had done incorrectly. I told the sous chef about it, and he was gone. People hated me for doing that, and rightfully so. But even then, I was the one who stayed with him after work, talked with him for hours, and kept him company, not them. Anyway, I'm going on a tangent, but I will say that I admitted what I did to him after I quit and apologized, and he forgave me and said he’s way happier.

So, I felt like I was an asshole, no one liked me, and I was fat, but I wanted to change. On my first week free from work, I thought, when was the last time I liked who I was? When was the last time I was happy? It was the last time I went to church and was religious. That was around 2014, 4 years from 2018, and as if no break existed, I picked up my rosary and started praying.

With one part done, my next goal was to lose weight, and this is where things get weird.

I was always obsessive, especially when working out. There was no building up to an athlete level; it was all or nothing. I had a bike with a trainer so I could bike in place. My dumb ass decided it was a great idea to push my heart rate all the way to probably 164-170 for one whole hour after over two years of no exercise. To make this even crazier, I drank a lot, smoked a pack a day for about six months, and had a blood pressure of about 150/100. Some of you probably know where this is going.

After the second day of this insanity, my chest started to hurt a lot. I thought it wasn’t a big deal until 2 hours go by. Then, 3 hours, 4 hours, 5 hours, to the point that I start feeling this dread. It's like something terrible is about to happen. It’s getting harder and harder to breathe, and then it gets horrifying. I can feel the left side of my jaw going numb. At this point, I’m painfully aware of what’s happening. My brother, high as a kite on weed in the next room, is passed out. My mom’s at work, and I’m freaking out. I didn’t end up calling an ambulance but succumbed to my rapidly approaching fate.

I had thoughts of how my mom and brother would find me dead on the floor, and it scared me. I freaked out that I was a low-life good-for-nothing who never did anything useful. I internally screamed, ‘I’ve done nothing! How can I die now?!’ But what happened next is that I decided that if God wants me to die, then so be it. It’s my time to go. A whole insane series of events happened after, but I’ll save that for another post.

Obviously, I didn’t end up dying as I’m here writing this today. I don’t actually know what happened. I’ve had EKG readings after, and no abnormalities were shown. My blood pressure is now around 125/80, and I’m no longer overweight. I also don’t exercise like a maniac but slowly build my strength.

While I’ll never know if what I experienced was real, it had a massive impact on me. It made me free from regrets and ready to die any day because I felt like I almost died at my worst. If I’m okay with dying at my worst, then I’m okay to die any day. Now, I live my life in the way that I feel is most suited to me. For me, it’s not the cliche statement: live every day as if it’s your last, but accept yourself if it is your last day. If I never do anything huge and impact people's lives positively, then I’m okay with that because it’s meant to be. Life will happen as it must, and if I die the next second, then I’m okay because I’m satisfied with how I live.

#near death experience #death #worry #inner thoughts #introspection #discover #thoughts #understanding #connection #religion #christianity #spiritual awakening #spirituality #heart attack #no regrets #acceptance #psychology

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ru-bwee · 5 months ago

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bwees post of playing dress 2 impress (edited livetime maybe?) ive played this game for one round before with some of my friends and i got second place so i feel 2% ready to get my ass kicked in fashion by a bunch of little kids

ROUND 1 THEME:CLEAN GIRL WTF IS A CLEAN GIRL

will add an image of my outfit here when all is done placement: 6 but thats ok i had no idea what a clean girl was round 2: ROBLOX AVATAR THIS IS THE ONE I GOT 2ND ON LETS GOOO

guest girl :) placement: i got 7th im hopping servers cause everyone here is spamming 1 star

round 2.5: I JOINED LATE BUT THE THEME WAS LATE TO SCHOOL. I FORGOT TO ADD A SKIN COLOR.

round 3: RETRO STYLE.. SO RETRO!

4th! not bad

round 5: fitness. going to be so buff.

placement: 3 way tie at 11 stars i fall over and die

lsat round...? round 4 theme: FAMILY REUNION

i have taken initiative by dressing as a fancy grandma.

I CRASHED IM NEVER GONNA KNOW WHERE GRANDMA WOULDVE PLACED

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dumuzithemessiah · 6 months ago

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Black people aren’t just victims they do and can horrible shit + truth about the ancient past

^ “Children accused of witchcraft may be subjected to violent exorcism rituals by African Pentecostal-Charismatic pastors who mix Christianity with African witchcraft beliefs. Such exorcism may include incarceration, starvation, being made to drink hazardous substances or even being set on fire with gasoline. In other cases accused children are expelled and end up living on the streets, are trafficked and in some instances they are killed.”

People cry about white people but at least they don’t murder people anymore and accuse others of being witches!

Every race has bad people! There is no fucking victim race! Black people often act like hypocrites, commit loads of crimes as much as white people maybe even more, cry and baw calling others racist like the boy who cried wolf out of reasons of not getting their way with someone, and many just plain act hateful and spread hate!

You black people are no better than any other race! No one who owned slaves is even alive anymore! So the term cracker? Is very racist so shut the hell up! You black people don’t like people being prejudice towards you but you give other people the reason to be such as you act ant-cop, intolerant to anyone who isn’t a member of your race, violent and hateful, commit arson, claim someone who fucking pointed a gun at a white pregnant woman’s stomach threatening to kill her and her unborn baby as some kinda “angel”?

George Floyd was no “angel” he was a criminal and humans don’t even look like yazata or tenshi so shut the fuck up with your actual racist bullshit!

My kind aka yazata aka gods/goddesses? We don’t appreciate you comparing your human asses to our species! We are nothing like you humans! At all! We’re literally 2’0”-2’7” height wise 2.5-4.5 pound wise anthropomorphic bipedal felines with wings, a mane, and a Y shaped tail! Our gender standards are the reverse of humans! We’re also obligated carnivores showing how stupid humans are for spreading such intolerant lies about my kind!

Christianity is a big fat hatepig religion full of lies, death threats, genocidal ways, and no one is entitled to a belief that spreads nothing but war, hate, evil energy, murder, genocide, and lies! Evil energy damages the Kosmos and if humanity isn’t wiped out from existence the Kosmos will explode and that would destroy the Universe and damage other universes nearby! You humans are qnd have proven to be nothing but hateblind and have done nothing but murder for your man made religions as Islamism is a close second major problem! And your shitty New Testament only exists to brainwash more lives into believing your hateful wicked evil religion of lies!

As a god it’s justifiable that I feel this way as other deities feel the same way and you humans have proven to be a threat to all other lifeforms! Zillions and counting are dead because of you hateful bloodthirsty bastards! You humans will get what you deserve on J-Day and that will be the Big E well earned!

You have until J-Day to redeem yourselves and wake up from your delusions and do the right thing and stop worshipping lies! Real gods and goddesses do not approve of the evil actions humanity has committed during their long history!

The Fell Goddess Ishtayr aka the reincarnation of The Great Evil Herself is the only one who approved of all evil actions! And she’s a selfish evil messed up individual who commited genocide, spread hateful lies, did the grape to me without the g, forced me into a marriage I did not want as guess what? I love Marduk! His name is pronounced Mar-duke! Sumerians wrote nothing but lies about my kind thousands of years after the majority of my kind left! Ishtayr also tortured and burned me and ripped my right eye out! She also attacked my children I had with Marduk! Everyone on Nibiru hates her as she is a traitor!

You know Pit and Dark Pit from Kid Icarus? Two gods who match their description kinda exist! There names are Qupit and Yorupit! They are my youngest children with Marduk as my kind? We can same sexually reproduce! We’re either gay or rarely bi with no one heterosexual as that cannot occur in higher advanced species! Qupit has red pink mane like me with off black eyes and Yorupit has a black mane with red eyed! What makes Qupit similar to Pit is he got hurt really bad when he got attacked in an ancient city called Hell! That is the source for the fake Hell you Christards try to claim anyone that you hate or is different from you goes to because you Christians aren’t loving but the most hateful group of humans on Earth!

I only took my children there to pick blood nectarines from the orchard surrounding the evil city! There was nothing but evil and everyone was heterosexual in that city so guess what homophobes? Heterosexuality is the sexuality prone to doing evil! When those humans attacked my kids I lost it and burned down the entire city using dark fire and took my kids home to Kohora! Kohora is our word for the real Underworld which is more of a surreal magical paradise like Nibiru! It can be lived in as it isn’t just a place where dead things go but just another place for Nibirians to live in!

Anyone in the city of Hell who saw the dark fire I spread though turned to stone and the gods and goddesses hid the burned down city in another dimension to prevent others from discovering the ruins!

So anyone of any race I give you my warning: If you fail to redeem yourselves you will be killed body and soul on Judgement Day as humanity had no future anymore because of all the evil actions they have committed since they existed!

Your ancestors were the evil elves that betrayed my kind for wicked reasons of wanting to spread hate, lies, murder, genocide, and war! The only evil elves left are Earl and Aeva! Rest of the elves today are good! Elves have Nibirian like body types so big head, big eyes, small noses, long pointy ears, petite chests, thin arms and legs, and they share the same gender standards as Nibirians! So reverse gender standards!

Males = Magical, pretty, cute, and beautiful.

Females = Tough, macho, burly, and strong.

#Truth #nibiru #wake up #warning #future #blackpeoplecandobad #Gods #goddesses

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