#and then brought it all back in the last episode ugh;;;;; i love them so much

[hopezzy]

in absolute SHAMBLES i tell you

[thebestofoneshots]

Gilded Constellations | (wolfstar x reader)

Series Masterlist | Previous episode

Pairing: Wolfstar x Reader Word Count: 7.7 K Warnings: Angst (like pretty much every chapter so far). ♡THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS SMUT ♡: fingering, masturbati*n, Soft!Sirius, dirty dreams, Needy!Remus. Consent is Sexy! Prompt: The moon is so close and Rem can't control his isnticts as much as he'd wish. And so, he gives into his desires (sort of). This IS a Wolfstar x reader fic, but it's incredibly slow burn. They won't start all dating each other until we're very deep into the story, but I promise the long wait will be worth it

Chapter 51: Some Guys Have all the Luck

♡ SMUT BELOW ♡

“You think Remus’ll be alright?” You asked as you lay on the bed, looking up at James’ fancy mouldings.  

Sirius sighed. “Yeah, the Moon is tomorrow and we had a bit of an argument earlier…” 

You leaned on your elbow and turned to him, “Wait really, about what?” 

“Nothing relevant, just– it was stupid, but I think that’s why he skipped the cuddles today.” 

“Pair of idiots,” you said as you pulled onto his hair. 

“Oi!” he complained, and then smiled devilishly, you knew he was going to kiss you even before he leaned closer and pressed his mouth to yours. It was meant to be a short kiss, but you parted your mouth and sucked on his lip in a way you knew he loved and he couldn’t pull apart. 

Sirius placed his hands on either side of you and slid one of them under your shirt as you kissed. It was nothing he hadn’t done before, but it felt different now, since you knew how far you were both willing to take it. 

“May I make you feel as good as you made me feel earlier?” he whispered into your mouth. 

You smiled and pressed another kiss to his mouth in response, seconds later, Sirius traced his hand down your stomach, and further down, slipping his hand under the hem of your pyjama pants and pinching the side of your leg. You bit his lip in retort and he smiled at your eagerness. 

He was slow, slower now than in the fae pool as he traced your slit, just on the outside of your knickers until he dug in. “Fuck, you’re so wet,” he whispered, more to himself than to you and then brought his hand up to his face and sniffed, his finger almost brushing his lips. You swallowed at the sight, you wanted to tease him for it, but it had been one of the hottest things you had ever seen him do. 

He dug his hand back in and started to roll his fingers in the way he had learned you liked and he had you sighing and panting while you bit your lip, trying not to make too much noise. That was when the door slammed open. 

Remus had gone up to the room to change into something more comfortable for the night, and the last thing he was expecting was to find you and Sirius making out on the bed. On the same fucking bed he had slept last night and would probably sleep on the next. “Sorry,” he said as he spotted you and averted his gaze, not without realising where Sirius’ hand had been. He tried not to think too much about it. Not about Sirius stating you had been amazing and incredible and fantastic and everything great because then, he would have jumped in the bed right in between the two of you. “I- ugh… just came to get some clothes,” he added, rushing towards his trunk and taking the first thing he found before. 

You gave Sirius a look and nodded for him to go speak to Remus. He shook his head and pressed a finger to your folds. Remus was still in the fucking room. You threw him a stern look and pouted. “Go,” you mouthed. 

Sirius made a bit of an exaggerated expression but took his hand from your pants and stood from the bed. 

“Hey Moons, can we talk?” he asked as he pressed his hand on the boy’s shoulder. By now you had turned around and placed a pillow over your head trying to hide the mortifying embarrassment that consumed you. 

“What?” Remus asked, voice a tone higher, he didn’t miss the glistening on Sirius’ other hand, but the hardest thing to ignore was the smell. Fucking hell, they smell like sin. Remus would have gone to hell to be able to bask in it. It was obvious what you had been doing and he was –for a second time that day– wishing he had borrowed James’ cloak, to at least be able to watch. 

I’m a terrible friend, he thought. But Sirius looked genuinely concerned, and it was that honest look in his beautiful eyes that brought him back to reality. “I’m sorry,” Sirius said and bit his lip, leaning closer to Moony. “I was a bit of an ass, I was very excited but that’s no excuse. I shouldn’t have told you about all those,” his lips almost brushed on Moony’s cheek, “details.” 

Sirius was having an internal turmoil of his own, Remus looked so handsome with his casual band shirt and tousled hair, his lips were pink as if he had bitten them and he wanted to kiss them in the same way he had kissed you. He had leaned into him on purpose, he wanted to feel him, which is why his hand was on his shoulder, and he’d wanted to smell him too. He always smelled as delightful as you did, of course, he felt like shit for it.

He had quite literally been making out with you, fingers touching you and it had been so thrilling and then new, lewd thoughts had invaded his mind, but they didn’t include you. Not only you at least. He might have been the worst boyfriend on the face of the earth. Perhaps that’s how his father had been to his mother and that’s why they resented each other so much, perhaps he had also been thinking of someone else, or fantasising about things that weren’t meant to be, ever. 

“It’s okay, we got over that, Pads.” 

“But you– you skipped cuddles and–” 

“Because of my throat,” Remus lied, trying to ignore the bulge forming in his pants and the slight tent on Sirius’ from whatever the hell you had been up to –he did not want to think about it in specifics. Resisting the bIoody temptation to take Sirius’ hands and smell what he’d been doing, to lick the shine away. He held the blush creeping up his cheek at the mere idea of it. “I’m… uh” –he hesitated– “I’m gonna go,” he added, bunched up the clothes in his hands and walked towards the exit. “Good night, Little Witch!” 

“Night Rem,” you said, still under the pillow. 

Sirius was quick to walk back to the bed, “Sorry about–” 

“Next time we spell shut that door,” you said, voice muffled by the sheets under your face. Sirius pressed a tender kiss to your hair and started to rub your back in soft circles, he knew you must have been embarrassed. 

“It was just Moony, he’s seen us do worse–” 

“He has not,” you said, cheeks burning. “He must have been so shocked, damn it.” 

“Well, I mean, It’s only natural–” You shoved him and he laughed, pressing another kiss to your hair. 

You let out a long sigh and then turned to him,  lifting the pillow and leaning your head on it instead, “Hold up, did you wash your hand?” 

“Why would I, it smells great.” 

Remus would have agreed. 

“Ugh… Puppy,” you said with a disgusted expression. He pouted and brought it into his mouth, this time sucking on his fingers in the most lewd way you had ever seen, your eyes went wide before you hit his shoulder. “Such a dog!” 

“They’re clean now, though,” he said as he showed both fingers and moved them for you to see.

You scoffed wryly and hit him again, he only laughed, pressed a short kiss to your lips, and then another one, and then one more until your disgruntled expression was gone. Stupid Sirius Black, he could be so bIoody sweet if he wanted to. And he knew. 

“Veux-tu me câliner, Étoile?” He asked, voice soft, his eyes filled with mirth as if he knew you wouldn’t refuse. 

You sighed. “Sirius,” you smiled. 

“S’il te plaît?”

You scoffed and leaned in close to him, wrapping your arms around his torso and leaning your head on his chest, he pulled you closer when he had the chance, and leaned into your ear, “We’ll finish what we started earlier on a different day,” he promised. 

“Shh,” you said in return, still worried someone might get in. That Remus would get in again. The things he’ll think of us, the images stuck in his head, you thought, still distressed. 

And images in his head there were. He was trying to think of anything else, anything that would drag his thoughts away from what he’d seen, away from what Sirius had told him, away from his sheen-coated fingers, but it all kept coming back to him. 

Sleep, he had to sleep. That would surely make him forget. He went to get one of the sleeping potions that Pomfrey had given him and took a few sips before throwing himself on the bed and hiding his face with the pillow. The potion, thankfully worked its magic on him and he was asleep sooner than later, thoughts gone, and mind blank. 

Until it wasn’t. Remus didn’t dream very often, his sleep deprivation often stopped him from getting his needed rest and when he dreamed, it was mostly after the moon when he was doped with sleep meds. He didn’t think of that when he downed the potion, he only wanted to get his mind off things in that instant. 

And he didn’t have those kinds of dreams often either. Sure, he’d had a lot of them back in 3rd and 4rth year when he was figuring himself out, and sure he had been horrified by some of them when he woke up until he accepted who he was and what he liked. But he didn’t have those as much anymore. Of course, they’d have to come back that day. 

In his dream, the two of you had invited him to the fae pool, you had told him he had to see the colours and then Sirius had proposed for the three of you to get in. That’s when things got lewd. Both you and Sirius stripped and threw yourselves into the water. Kissing each other and then kissing him. It had been so real, he could feel your bodies against his, he could feel your wet kisses on his mouth and lips. He woke up in a heap of sweat and groaned when he realised how hard he was. 

“Fuck,” he said and turned to look at his pants. Feeling mortified over having sexualised his two best friends like that. What would you even think of him if you found out? Would you stop talking to him, would you tell him how much of a pervert he was? 

Fucking Sirius, he had put all those images on his head and things were only getting worse. Walking, he thought, a little bit of walking might take my mind off things. Or a book, I could get that book I left in the living room. Remus took a deep breath, adjusted his tight trousers as best as he could and quietly walked down the stairs. He walked from the living room towards the kitchen, and then to the entrance hall. It was the longest aisle that was also the furthest from the house so he started pacing there. 

Long strides, from the door to the archway that led into the living room and then back. He was thinking about homework and about things he had to study and about anything he could think of that wasn’t you and Sirius. But of course, you always went back to his mind. Either on the Fae Pool, which he had a very clear image on his head by now, or on the bed, with Sirius’ hand digging under your pants and touching you. 

Fuck… fuck.. fuck! Remus couldn’t get the godricdamned smell off his head. It was as if it was fucking there. As if you were fucking there. It was probably because of the moon, his senses were always a mess when the moon was so close and it was proving to be a real fucking nightmare to try and fight against the urges of the wolf. 

Hold up, he couldn’t get the smell off his nose either. He looked around, searching on the corners of the room trying to locate the source of the smell, his eyes finally locked to his coat. 

“My coat?” he wondered as he approached the offending item. He took in his hands and leaned in. “Fuck!”

He quickly remembered Sirius had taken his coat when he left, but it smelled heavily like you. All of it, it was saturated with your smell. It was as if you were there with him, both of you since it still smelled like Sirius. But your smell was much more prominent. He couldn’t understand why until he felt the trace of magic, a drying spell. 

She wore it when wet. FUCK, SHE WORE IT WHEN WET!

The image now solidified in his mind wasn’t helping his case, you wearing his coat, and nothing other than his coat sent another rush of bIood down. He sniffed the coat, burying his head inside of it when he felt his cheeks burn. Lust? Embarrassment? Shame? What was the difference at this point? Moony wouldn’t care. 

Sirius, behind you, placing the coat on you, lightly brushing his fingers on your shoulder before allowing it to wrap around you. Your nipples hard from the cold air after being in such a warm pool brushing against the rough fabric. Sirius looking flushed, his hair still wet and cascading down his bare shoulders. It was an absolute visage. 

Remus felt his pants tightening even more. He knew then that there would be no other way out of this other than through. Perhaps if he used those images now, they’d lose the power they had over him, and then he would get over the stupid crush that kept gnawing at him. He bit his lips in shame as he reached down with one of his hands, gently unlacing the bow on his chequered sleep pants before digging his hand inside. 

He groaned when he felt how hard he’d gotten with the mere imagery of you and Sirius. He hid his shame-filled face on the coat and smelled again, allowing the scents to enrapture him as he patted himself, lightly, teasingly, a soft and much-needed release to his struggle. When he wrapped his hand around his cock, he bit his lip even sharper to hold back a groan, using his other hand to push part of the coat into his face in an attempt to muffle the sound. He moved his hand over his boxers, tracing himself softly until he grew tired and desperate and dug his hand behind the elastic. 

He was painfully hard. And he almost flinched when he felt his hand wrap around himself. He then remembered yours, how much softer it was, how much smaller, he imagined it was you and not him the one touching him, he pretended his scars were your fading broom marks and that it was your thumb brushing against his tip in the way he liked it instead of his. 

He imagined the coat was your shoulder, and that Sirius was just behind the two of you, pressing gentle kisses to his temple and hair as he praised the muffled sounds Remus was trying to hide. He remembered the way your bodies felt pressed into his. Back in the snow day, and when you cuddled, how one was soft, and gentle, and the other toned and strong. Sirius’ smile, Sirius’ hair, your hair, your lips, he had kissed your lips, what a lovely taste they had held. Sirius’ kiss, much longer ago, much shorter than the one he’d given you, but just as present in his mind. 

Remus completely lost himself on the thought of you as he stroked, becoming number and dumber to the world outside of him. So enraptured in what he imagined you sounded like, that he completely missed the quiet steps coming down the stairs. 

You had woken up a few minutes ago, the fact that Remus had refused cuddles still nagging you. You laid there, looking up at the mouldings again while you heard James’ light snoring and Sirius’ soft and warm breath. Something was missing. 

Remus was missing. 

It was his soft breath, his warm hands, the pleased smile he sometimes had while he was sleeping. You had gotten so fucking used to it these past few days, they had been the reassuring sounds and sights that tied you back to reality and away from Christmas, and you missed it, and you felt ridiculous over the fact that you did. You couldn’t depend on him, he was your best friend but he was also only your best friend. He didn’t owe anything to you, let alone to be the comforting figure whenever you felt triggered or had a sad memory. 

It wasn’t his duty to deal with your problems, it was no one’s obligation. You’d have to learn to deal with your own shit, not become so attached to your friends that you become dysfunctional without them. You were sure Remus would eventually find someone who liked him, who loved him, truly did. And then what would be of you? 

No matter how much you loved him, you couldn’t afford to hinge on him the way you had so far, you couldn’t hinge on anyone like that. You had never done it, and you wouldn’t start to crumble apart and do it now that things got harder. If you had to deal with it on your own, then you’d find a way. At least you were good with that.

“You okay?” Sirius asked when he noticed the stirring on the bed. Eyes closed and hand searching for you. 

“Yeah,” you said softly, placing your hand on his head and brushing his curls behind his ear, enjoying the softness of his features underneath your thumbs. “Just thirsty.” 

“Want me to come down with you?” 

“No, don’t worry, Luv,” you said. “I’ll just get some water and come back,” you added and pressed a soft kiss to his cheek. He smiled when he felt your lips on his face and kept that smile even as you slid off the bed and looked for a pair of shoes. 

You were quick and quiet as you walked down the stairs, walking straight to the kitchen and serving yourself a simple glass of water. You had just brought it to your lips when you heard a strained sound. You frowned and placed the water back on the table, paying close attention to the sounds. You heard it again, and then something close to a sob. 

Remus! You thought as you looked around worried. Is he crying? you wondered. He had been there for you every single time, you weren’t about to go back and ignore it completely. You weren’t sure where he was, but decided to be quiet as you looked for him, since you didn’t want to scare him off before you got close enough to wrap your arms around him and comfort him. 

The sounds were soft and almost imperceptible, as if was using something to muffle his sobs. Not in the living room, definitely not in the kitchen. You were so worried for him that you didn’t even realise that he wasn’t crying while you followed the sounds. Finally, you found where he was. When you spotted him he was hunched against the coat rack, right next to the door, head buried in his coat. 

You took a step forward, ready to embrace him when you heard something that sounded nothing like a sob, and everything like a moan. Your eyes went wide, and your breath hitched in your throat. Another moan, and then a grunt. You stared, one of his hands was holding the coat to his face, the other one… the other one was moving, quite fast. You turned around in an instant, cheeks burning as you squeezed your eyes shut and tried to delete the image of Remus jerking off from your brain. 

Ragged breaths, panting, moaning, how the hell had you confused that with sobbing and tears? You felt like an intruder, interfering with his private moment. Although he had done it in the fucking entrance hall, what the fuck was he thinking? 

You decided not to question his actions and after gulping, you started with slow, quiet steps towards the stairs. Much quieter now than you had been before since you knew he had exceptional hearing. 

I shouldn’t be listening to this, I shouldn’t be listening to this, you thought. 

Remus, still wrapped up in his mind, hadn’t even heard a thing, not your hitched breath nor your stumbling while you tried to get out. He was still in the fae pool, his head buried in your hair and now Sirius’ hand around his cock. 

What a wondrous thing the mind can be, not even his dream had been as lively as his imagination was proving to be at the moment. “Fuck,” he whispered when he felt he was close, you had just pressed a kiss to his neck. Sirius’ hand movements had become much faster as he fucked into it, now hip thrusts meeting with hand strokes. 

And then he felt it, the rush of adrenaline surging through him. “Sirius,” he whispered, soft, but clear as water. His mind now brought him back to the real world as he realised the kisses weren’t real and the smell that felt so vivid came only from the coat. What a sublime and yet wretched thing had that coat become in a matter of minutes. It had gone from his two best friends, to a simple coat, and then one stained in his cum, he hadn’t even had enough time to catch it with his hand.

What? you thought as you turned back to the door. Did I imagine that? you wondered, but the ragged breath, the soft sound of Remus’ voice, it hadn’t been strained, it wasn’t debatable whether he had said  Cyprus or Sirius. It had been fucking evident, clean cut and obvious. Painfully so. 

Remus Lupin had cum on his hand while thinking of Sirius Black. Your boyfriend Sirius Black.

There was another course, and then Remus’ soft voice again, “Evanesco.” 

You swallowed and ran towards the bathroom, closing the door as quietly as possible and then locking yourself inside. You sat on the toilet seat and ran your hands through your hair. Maybe he had said Cyprus. Maybe it was a different Sirius. 

But sweeter lies couldn’t have been told, it was obvious. It had been obvious for a while but you had been blind to it. Blinded by the love we have for our friends, you remembered, it had been Remus the one to tell you that. 

But it really had been there all along, the way he looked at Sirius sometimes, a look that you’d found interesting but weren’t sure why. The way he talked about him, the way his hands would linger on Sirius’ the way he seemed to always be around. How he had looked at Sirius back at the Halloween party, how he had run away the minute Sirius had licked his face. 

How he had gone straight to Alice and kissed his sorrows away, and you, you had been kissing Sirius too, displaying all the love and affection you felt to each other for his torment. No wonder Moony was often angry, no wonder he sometimes stepped away from you and Sirius. 

No fucking wonder, he hadn’t cuddled with Vixen and Pads that night. If Sirius told him– if he guessed, what had happened in the fae pool… You let out a soft, defeated breath. You had been displaying your affection for Sirius, waving it like a flag in the air while your best friend was deeply in love with him.

Fuck he saw us in the room too, you thought then, Sirius kissing you, his hand deep in your pants, and then he went and talked to Moony, touched Moony. Such an unbound cruelty you had committed against your best friend!  Of course, you hadn’t known, and you would have never done it on purpose if you did. But even in your nescience, even in your blindness, you had done it, you had hurt him, and ignorance was no excuse. 

How many times? You wondered, how many times had Remus been forced to see you kissing Sirius? Forced to see you all over each other, perched on his lap, playing with his hair, kissing his face. How many times had you talked to him about Sirius? 

How many times have I made him suffer?

Because, was there anything else he could do? Just sit and watch, in silence. Suddenly you realised, when he told you he liked both men and women and you had thought that he seemed to want to say more, perhaps he was about to confess his feelings for Sirius. You gulped, he had seen you cry, he had seen your red-rimmed eyes, and he had decided to shut up, to swallow his feelings instead of admitting them. For your sake. 

What an extraordinary friend you had, and what a dreadful one you were.

How long had it been since he fell in love with Sirius? How long did he have to suffer being into him? Sirius who went on dates and was known for being a player. The Sirius you hadn’t met but you had heard about from whispers in the halls. The Sirius people talked about when they made bets about the duration of your relationship. 

Secrets, Remus had so many of those, how wrong had you been when you thought you already knew them all...

You silently squeezed your hand on your arm as you reprimanded yourself for being such a terrible friend. What were you to do now? Stop kissing Sirius in public? With what fucking explanation? Sirius loved PDA, the entire world knew it. Perhaps you had to talk to Remus instead, but then again, how would you even go about it? 

‘Hey, I saw you jerking off while thinking of my boyfriend, wanna talk about it?’

You sighed again, defeated, so sure you wouldn’t find a solution, and your mind drifted to Sirius. There is no way he knows, right? 

You were certain he had no idea Moony was bi and if he didn’t know that, then there was no way he knew of the feelings Remus harboured for him, and there was no way to make him understand the dire situation you were both in. Oblivious to the pain you had caused to Remus. Oblivious to the one you continued to infringe. 

You couldn’t even blame Remus for falling in love, you had done the same, you understood him perfectly and it only made you feel worse, that you had been the chosen one and not him. What you’d give to bear his heartache, with everything he had done for you, it was the least he deserved. 

And there was Sirius, always touchy, always soft, always happy to be around Moony, always happy to cuddle him and play with him and touch him, the lingering hands never seen as something bad, the stares met with smiles and games. The concessions he had given him, both for you and for himself. You were sure he wouldn’t allow any other boy to be close to you as he did with Remus, at least not in the same way you were close. 

Wait a minute.

Special concessions: the jumpers, the looks, the touching… what if Sirius-?

There was a soft knocking on the door. “Starshine, are you there?” 

“Sirius? What are you doing here?” 

“I thought something might’ve happened to you, you said you came for water but it’s been a while.” 

“Oh.” Of course, he asked if you wanted him to come along. “Yeah, no. Everything’s fine, I just– girl stuff,” you improvised. 

There was a moment of silence. “Is there anything I can do for you?” 

You stood up and flushed the bathroom, washing your hands and face before stepping out, “Don’t worry about it,” you said as you flashed him a smile. 

He placed his arm around you and the two of you walked back to the room, James still slept like a rock. 

Friday, January 7th, 1977 - Full Moon

Effie and Monty had already left, and they’d be back in the morning with potions for Remus. You’d left Sirius sleeping and James had gone for a very early flight. You joined him when you realised he was gone and tried to fly fast enough to leave your thoughts behind.

It didn’t work, the images of last night would come back to your head every now and then, and you were left speeding so fast it was almost unsafe. James didn’t know of what’d happened last night, but that didn’t mean he didn’t notice your change in demeanour, he just assumed it had to do with the Christmas Party rather than with anything going on in his house.

“Hey! Wait up!” He said as he tried to catch up with you. “You’re going too fast, you’ll lose control.” 

You turned to him with a confused glance and then started to slow down, so fast that James went on a few metres until he realised you had stopped. He turned around and flew your way. He wanted to ask you if you were all right, but he’d already seen –more than once– how you’d clam up after either one of them even referred to what happened at the party, or to your wand problem or to anything even remotely close to it, and today was a beautiful day, he didn’t want to ruin it by being intrusive. 

“Race you home, yeah?” he said instead. 

You smirked at that and nodded, “You’re on.” 

Racing was good, you rarely backed down from a fight, let alone from a game like that. James knew you well enough and he was using that to his advantage, he was aware it’d help you get your mind off whatever was troubling it, and he was determined to help, even if it was by aiding you in the stubborn evasion of your own feelings. 

You were both at the same invisible starting line, looking at each other attentively. “Three…” he started.

“Two…” 

“One, GO!” he said almost a little too fast and took off. 

“Hey, that’s cheating!” you complained with a laugh. 

“You would have caught up with me anyway,” James shouted from a couple of metres ahead as he turned to look at you and then. “Just takin’ a headstart for it to be a more fair race.” 

“It’s still cheating!” You laughed again and leaned over your broom a little, close enough so your own body would cut like a dart through the air instead of offering resistance. You caught up with him in seconds. He looked at you flying next to him and scoffed. He’d expected to at least last a little bit longer in the first place. “Maybe you were right.” 

James scoffed at your cocky words and leaned down on his broom in the same way you had done, trailing next to you, behind by no more than half a metre. “It’s unfair how fast you are!” 

“It’s because I’m smaller, Prongsie, those big shoulders don’t help you all that much!” 

“Lily likes them, though.” 

You laughed at that and picked up some more speed, breaking just before you crashed head-first into one of his windows. 

“That’s bIoody insane!” Sirius said as opened the window to look at James almost crashing face-first onto him. “Don’t fucking injure my girlfriend with your games, Prongs!” 

“There’s a higher chance he gets injured than me,” you said with a laugh from above and flew towards the window. “Sleep well?”

Sirius leaned his elbows on the window sill and then his chin on his hand, he looked very much like a princess from a book. “Not as well as when you were here,” he said with an exaggerated pout.

“Ugh, please!!” James complained. 

You smiled and leaned back on the broom a little. “Hey Prongsie, come over here, will you?” He did as told, you instantly leaned towards him. “What do you see over there?” you whispered as you pointed towards your boyfriend. 

“A twat,” he responded with a shit-eating smirk. Loud enough for Sirius to hear. 

“Oi!” Sirius complained. 

“I mean besides that,” you said with a similar smirk, Sirius looked at you as if he had been betrayed. “I mean, imagine if Sirius had slightly longer hair, golden, letting it fall to the window down to the floor.” 

James cackled after that, the picture so clear and vivid on his head it might as well have been painted, “Like Rapunzel?” 

You nodded and bit your lip, Sirius hadn’t heard, but he looked agitated as the two of you laughed, enough for him to stop leaning so casually on the window, and placing both hands on the sill to lean on them with a slightly bothered scoff. 

“Hey Rapunzel, let down your beautiful hair!” James teased. 

You laughed outwardly at that, Sirius was pouting now, he looked beyond adorable. 

That’s when you remembered another certain lady who used to linger by her window. You smiled, and cleared your throat “But soft what light through the yonder window breaks. It is the east and Sirius is the sun.” 

He gave you an exasperated look.

You bit your lip as you tried to hold a smile. “Arise, fair sun, and kiIl the envious moon.” 

You had not realised it, but Remus was just behind Sirius, witnessing the entire play. The envious moon, it certainly fits me, he thought, almost bitterly. 

“Oh, it is my love, see how he leans his cheek upon that hand. How I wish I were a glove upon that hand that I might touch that cheek.” 

“Oh, please,” Sirius said exasperated, although he was smiling now as if your theatre was as diverting as bothersome. 

“He speaks!” you said exaggeratedly as you turned to James wide-eyed, and then back at Sirius. “Oh, speak again, bright angel” 

“Are you done?” 

“O, wilt thou leave me so unsatisfied?” You continued, leaning closer to him. 

“That? Never!” Sirius said as he leaned a little closer to the window. “Come, fair maiden.” 

“Oh for fucks sake, he’s joined her,” James muttered under his breath as he watched the entire scene unfold. 

“Stony limits cannot hold love out,” you said as you flew closer to Sirius, a smile on your face, your nose was brushing against his and you had to bite your lips from the stupid lovesick smile you were withholding. 

Sirius laughed, and placed both of his hands around your face, “What satisfaction can I offer you, Étoile?” 

Did Sirius even read Romeo and Juliet? You wondered as you thought of your next line, “The exchange of thy love's faithful vow for mine… If my heart's dear love—” 

Sirius kissed you, interrupting your ramblings by dragging you towards him. James rolled his eyes from the side. “Oh, blessed, blessed night, I am afraid. Being it night, all this is but a dream…” you said in between a kiss. Dawn had come mere hours ago, your words made almost no sense, but you barely cared.

“Too flattering-sweet to be substantial,” Remus finished. You pulled from the kiss and stared at him. You paled. How long had he been there? How much of your silly game had he seen? 

“Remus, you’re awake.” You said. Sirius, oblivious as he was from what you’d seen last night, turned to Moony with a smile as bright as the star that carried his name. 

“Morning, Moons,” he said. 

Moony took a deep breath, it was a second, almost a flicker of it, but there was a sadness so deep you could almost feel the pang in your own heart. You faltered at it, feeling equally sorrowful. He then smiled, “Morning, Juliet,” he joked, and then turned to you with a soft nod, “Romeo.” 

“Juliet?” Sirius asked, confused, and turned to you. “Who’s Juliet?” 

“What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would still smell as sweet,” Remus replied. 

“It’s… uh–” you started.

“Doff thy name, And for that name which is no part of thee take all myself,” Remus added while looking straight at Sirius. You faltered again. 

Sirius had pulled back just a second, but he was looking into Remus’ eyes so deeply, and so enchanted by them, that you felt like an intruder. Like Romeo and Juliet had found each other and you were nothing more than a Paris or a Rosalind. You were so lost in your thoughts, that you flew to the side, and your boom got caught in a vine, making you lose balance and fall a couple of metres down to the bushes. 

“Vixen!” James said as he sped down, trying to catch you, but by the time he reached you, you were already in between the bushes. They had mostly broken your fall.

The loud thud was enough to break the trance of the boys and they had both leaned over the window to check on you, you heard them both calling, each using their own nickname for you. 

“Hey,” you said with an apologetic smile. Both Remus and Sirius looked mortified, James, who had seen you were all right, was just shaking his head in a disapproving manner. 

“Does Romeo fall off the Balcony at any point?” James asked you with a diverted smile. You stuck out your tongue at him. 

“Who the hell is Romeo?” Sirius asked, confused. 

“Shakespeare, mate! You live under a rock?” James replied, feeling entitled. He had only known about Romeo and Juliet because Lily had been telling him about the Shakespeare collection she had gotten Mary for Christmas on the train.

“Muggle?” Sirius asked, turning to Remus. 

“Oh, very,” he replied.

“Not all of it, Midsummer Night’s Dream has fairies.” 

“Are they as delightful as you are, Tinkerbell?” Sirius teased.

You rolled off the bushes and to the side, hiding your entire face in the snow and groaning. That nickname was your own fault, you had suggested Remus to read Peter Pan aloud and Sirius wouldn’t stop comparing you to her. “They’re equally obdurate!” he’d said, to Remus’ amusement. 

“You’ll get cold,” James said as he pulled you from the snow. 

“I don’t care,” you replied, turning to him with a pout, one of your cheeks still buried in the snow. “It’s actually good for your muscles.”

“Yeah sure,” James said as he pulled you up and turned to the window, “See you in the dining room?” 

“We’ll be down in a second,” Sirius said. 

“Are you sure you’re okay, Little Witch?” Remus asked, leaning his head over the window while Sirius removed his nightshirt to change into something else. 

You looked up at him too and placed your hand over your eyes, the day had gotten so bright you could barely look at him straight.

“Like softest music to attending ears!” You replied dramatically. 

Sirius leaned over his shoulder, shirtless with a confused face and you gave him a thumbs up, not missing the nervous look Moony threw his way as their bodies came into contact with each other. You looked down from that, remembering what had happened the previous night with a small frown. 

“Come on,” James said as he pulled you by the shoulder. “Mum must have something for falls on her potions cabinet.” 

“I’ve had much worse.” 

“Yeah, that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt still,” James said with an all-knowing raise of the eyebrows. 

As you walked inside, you spotted Remus’ coat still in the hanger and instantly drove your sight to the other side. The elves had already placed breakfast on the table by the time you got to the room, and you went straight to take a seat while James went over the cupboard behind you and looked through the many potions their parents had brewed. 

You were resting your head on the table as you waited for the other boys to arrive. 

“Shadowshade?” James asked. 

“That’s for sunburns.” 

“Harmony Haze?” 

“Isn’t… isn’t that for singing better?” you asked as you turned to look at him, he shrugged in response and placed the potion back on the spot.

“Veil of Vigour?” 

You looked at him with your eyes wide open and stood up next to him, “Are you sure?” 

“That’s what it says, why?” He turned the label towards your face.

You leaned over his shoulder and whispered what that potion did to men.

“Shut up!” he said as he gasped. “Dad’s not that old!” 

“Maybe it’s for a friend?” you said with a shrug. James was still trying to process the information when you pointed to one of the others.

“That’s Skele-Gro,” he said. He took a small vial with green liquid and held it up to you, “Calming draught?” 

“No,” you said as you shook your head.  “That stuff knocks me out.” 

You pointed at one, “What does it say there?” 

James was better at deciphering his dad’s handwriting than you were. “Ce–“ he started. “Celestial Soothe.” He pulled it out from the cupboard in a second. “This is great actually,” he said as he walked towards the table and served about a quarter of a glass of water, “Dad used to give it to me when I was learning how to fly,” he took the dropper and trew around 8 drops on the glass. “It would take the pain away almost instantly.” 

“You fell a lot?” you teased as you took the glass he had in his hands and took a gulp. 

“You better sit down,” he said as he pulled a chair, you almost instantly relaxed onto it. “I was always trying to do stupid tricks so yes.” 

You laughed and took another drink, not only were you now a lot more relaxed, but the soreness from the fall was completely gone, not that it had been very painful, “Oh, wow.”

“Yeah,” James replied with a knowing smile as he sat down.  

Sirius and Remus came down the stairs seconds later, “Hey boys!” you said. Sirius walked straight towards you, sitting down on the closest chair and placing a soft kiss on your cheek before he served himself some orange juice.

“Tea, Luv?” Remus asked. You turned your gaze to him, he was looking at you apprehensively. Sirius leaned onto you, and you turned to look straight at the cup, avoiding your gaze entirely. 

“Please,” you responded as you looked at him serving. 

That look on his face, had it always been there? How hadn’t you seen it before?

Although what you saw as apprehension, was nothing other than longing. Yes, it often made Remus jealous that he couldn’t kiss you or Sirius with that same familiarity, that he had the memory of your lips engraved in his brain but that it was nothing more than that, a memory. Moony being so close to clawing his way out of him didn’t make him more lenient. But Remus was never uncomfortable if you kissed each other, heck he had imagined you kissing each other while he jerked off to the coat, the only difference there was that, in his delusion, you welcomed him to the kiss shortly after.

You were worried for him, you wanted to talk to him, but you didn’t even know how to begin. You couldn’t tell him you knew since it could sound like a threat, besides, he might pull apart from the both of you, and you would never want that to happen. Remus and Sirius drifting apart, you and Remus drifting apart, the idea ate you up from the inside out. You loved your friendship. And perhaps you were being selfish –if Remus was in pain– but you didn’t want things to change, you didn’t want more things to change. You didn’t want to lose Remus, the idea of him being a stranger, of him not speaking to you, of being unknown. It was harrowing.

You didn’t want to lose more friends, even if it meant only drifting apart, you just couldn’t bear the idea of it. 

And Remus was still Remus. He was still acting like he did all the time, playful and yet the voice of reason when the boys –and you– got unreasonable ideas. 

He placed your tea, prepared exactly how you liked it, next to your plate. He was the same. The only thing that had changed was your knowledge of the situation.

“Are we ready for tonight?” Sirius asked with a smile. “Effie and Monty left, right?” 

“Yup, earlier today,” James said as he popped some pancakes into his mouth. “Picksie and Mellie will catch up with them after lunch, I believe they’ll leave dinner ready.” 

“And you sure there will be no one else in the perimeter?” Remus asked apprehensively. 

“That’s why we were flying today in the morning,” James said.

“Before we decided to get into a race,” you added. You stood up and walked over to the bathroom. By the time you got back you realised James was talking about Tadpoles, and while Sirius looked at him attentively, Remus was lost in Sirius’ nodding profile, you felt so impossibly stupid. 

That look, so immensely similar to the way you looked at Sirius all the time, eyes fixed on him, lost on him. How hadn’t you seen it before?  Undeniable as the full moon, Remus was lost on him, and you didn’t blame him at all. 

Remus said something to James and Sirius cackled, that’s when you realised that Sirius’ gaze also lingered on the other boy.

It was in the way he’d brighten up when Remus smiled, in the way he would laugh louder if Rem cracked a joke, in the way he would look for him when he wasn’t around and in the way he would often ask about him when he was gone. 

Had he been like that with you too? 

You didn’t want to think much about it, you were so in love with Sirius, with everything about Sirius that you had never stopped to think, to really think, if he was as in love with you as you were with him, and then again, even if he was, what about Remus? 

“Starshine,” he said as he looked past Remus’ shoulder and towards you, “Did you hear that?” 

You shook your head and gulped, “I must have missed it, What was it?” 

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A/N: Well this one's a bit of a rollercoaster, wasn't it? At least someone finally SAW something!

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[mouse-fantoms]

On top of being robbed of so much Juke content we’ll never get, what I think about alot is how Juke would have been approached more if it went further.

One of the (many) reasons I love jatp so much is it makes me believe their characters are real, that they have background, they have their own goals and ambitions to them, they’re fleshed out.

That moment of Flynn going “my girls got a crush and his name is Luke” and Julie going “what no?! Luke’s a ghost😳.” And Flynn saying “a cute ghost” and Julie giving in and saying “…with a perfect smile☺️” and adding that Luke is “cute air” which implies she has indeed given this Luke crush idea some thought.

That moment of just two best friends talking about the others potential crush like that’s such a good moment bc I genuinely believe that I am watching these two genuine besties just have that kind of talk with one another bc that happens!

Like that moment we have with our friends when they’re like “hey I got something to tell you 👀” or they approach you like “so… umm… I’ve been kind of noticing your behavior lately around this person.” It’s the realistic little things like that which is why I appreciate this show so much.

Julie having the line of “what no! Luke’s a ghost!” Means so much that, on top of acknowledging “hey he’s got a cute smile, and he himself is cute” she also acknowledged “…he is a ghost though…” but then our Julie being who she is (we love her for it) went “but he still do be cute though 🥰” like this is a genuine teen girl in high school having a crush

And then later on when Reggie and Alex bring up how Luke and Julie ooze chemistry (and the way that throughout the show when Julie and Luke are being cute and them, the looks that we see Reggie and Alex give like Juke and then each other is so good bc I genuinely believe like “yeah these boys are all friends with one another so of course they’d react that way to their other friend showing an interest in their fellow friend”) Luke’s like “no come on I have chemistry with everyone I sing with” HE DOES THE SAME THING JULIE DID WHEN THE EXACT SAME TOPIC EAS BROUGHT UP TO HER! (Soulmates your honor!)

Him denying it, like Julie did, implies too that he also had the thinking of “…she is alive though and I’m not” (I mean me personally I feel like Luke didn’t truly realize he liked her until later on even if there were signs earlier, just bc he seems like the kind of person where like music was his absolute everything like even if the Sunset Curve fangirls were always like ‘omg Luke is amazing 😍’, I just get the vibe that he would never really notice the advances towards him bc he is just so consumed in music and that is his whole existence, so when Reggie and Alex see that Luke appears to be falling for Julie it’s a big deal bc they’re probably like “Luke has NEVER shown any interest ever so the fact that a girl has replaced music in his life THIS IS A MASSIVE DEAL”)

And then the moment when they’re on Julie’s porch and she tries to hold his hand but ya know CANT (huge what a gut punched) and then she awkwardly looks away and he’s like “…this is an interesting little relationship you and I have” and they��re just there for a moment just looking and smiling at each other (THEY’RE FLIRTING SO MUCH WITHOUT SAYING ANY WORDS UGH TAKE ME 😩)

I am sat there genuinely believing that these are two teenagers who even though they know they’re not *supposed* to feel a way about each other, they still do. Like that scene is their confession to one another and it’s so sweet and genuine bc in that moment where Julie tries to hold his hand, they’re brought back to reality as to what they are and yet, they can’t help but still like one another and appreciate each other bc of what the other person has changed so much in their life.

AND THEN, that scene in the beginning of the last episode how Julie asks to talk to Luke (and Reggie and Alex immediately are like “oop leave them be 👀 they’re having a moment” being the greatest friends that they are) and they’re both standing there, in each others presence, it takes a moment for Julie to say what she wants to but they’re just two kids who ended up in each others lives and they know they like each other but they know they can’t act on those feelings yet they still just have this love for each other is so enduring and charming. The way Luke tells her “anything Julie you know that” MAKES ME MELT like ugh 😩 their dynamic and friendship has grown so much with each other from episode 1 to like now and it’s so just ugh it gets me

When I think how Juke could have been approached if we had gotten a chance, I would have loved to see the new like “glowing touch” development and how that would impact their dynamic. (I just imagine Reggie just hugs Julie all the time bc he can (he just seems like such a hugger and I feel like he’d give good ones🥺) and Alex also will gives her side hugs (they just take advantage of being able to physically touch her bc they don’t know how long they’re able to do it for with their new ghost development)) I feel like Luke and Julie would just be a bit apprehensive since the hand holding thing on the porch, and maybe their hug was just a one time thing.

Would have loved to see Carlos referring to Luke as “Julie’s boyfriend” (he was there for edge of great and stand tall THERES NO WAY he’s thinking anything of than “the sleeveless one is indeed my sisters boyfriend”) would be extra great too with like Luke being in the room and Carlos just says that and Julie quickly trying to make him not talk about it bc it’s embarrassing 💀 her just being like “Carlos, he’s a ghost” and him being like “…hey with you having a boyfriend are you going to have less time with Dad and I bc you’ll be busy kissing him?” And Julie’s face just goes pale as Luke takes the time to take himself out of room meanwhile his face his like bright red

Would have loved to see when Carrie’s redemption is happening and it’s Julie and Carrie and Carrie’s like “sooooo 👀 I’ve seen how you look at your guitarist” and she immediately tries to shut it down but Carrie is like “Jules, we may not have been that close in the past year and some but we’ve known each other for how long? I can see your tells!”

I just think a lot about how this ship, even though they’re not meant to like each other yet they do and still care about each other, would have been approached more if we got the chance

[bronx-bomber87]

Happy Wednesday lovely Fandom/readers :) I cannot believe we are in the final 3 episodes. If it think on it too much makes me sad. So let's not dwell on that. lol This episode did not disappoint in the least. End to end it was so good. Said this time and time again but it's a theme this year. So proud of this show for returning to it's roots. What I mean by that is the entire show being so damn good along with Chenford SL's. The ensemble side of it is running on all cylinders. Not an easy thing to do 7 seasons in.

I'm not saying I didn't enjoy or the last couple years years. I adored them to no end. Don't get me wrong. Was in absolute Chenford heaven and some non ones I loved too. But it's nice to have the show as a whole be fantastic. Week in and week out for the most part again. Each SL having purpose and keeping me engaged. Writers just brought it this year and then some. Continue to see why this is Eric's fav season yet.

It's become mine as well. Seth's return was as impactful and good as I was expecting it to be. Can't explain enough how proud I am of this show. Makes me emotional tbh. Day one girl over here so it just hits me sometimes, how excited I am to see us thrive. The giving season continues to give with the goodies we get in this one. So let us begin.

7x16 The Return

Seth is back....Of course he threw his corrupt oncologist under the bus to get back in. That’s low. I mean I expect nothing less from him. tbh. They could’ve at least sent him to another station… He picked the perfect time to pick on the LAPD I will say. What Wade’s saying is frustrating but unfortunately, he’s right. Letting them know they need someone to train him. I mean piss-pants wouldn’t last two seconds with Tim…But that isn't the plan. Nor would that be fair to Miles.

Poor Lucy’s PTSD is screaming out how much she doesn’t want him. Ugh my heart. Kudos to Melissa in this moment. We watch as she unclenches as Nolan is tapped for this instead. Not excited in the least but willing to take it on. Good man. I have enjoyed Nolan so much more this year than I have in ages. Grey letting him know he's going to have to watch his every move. Document everything this kid does. Ooof been there Nolan. It suckkkssss.

I had someone on my team at my old job like this. Played the system and was a walking law suit just like Seth. They didn’t deserve to be there and that's hard to deal with. I learned the hard way to record literally every detail in order to 'Wash' them out so to speak. It’s not easy to fire a legal liability. Especially when they have the system on their side. All I could think was he’s gonna have to bounce him for the slightest FTO infraction. To have that piled against many other documented offenses. What I had to do. Not an easy feat. Commend Nolan for taking it on.

Lucy so excited to see Tamara. It's precious. Her love for the people in her life is so genuine and pure. Oh my lord. Their hug made me so happy. Didn't get a chance to fit it in but maybe in my in-depth this summer I can haha I had a feeling this would be for Seth though…. Not to see her. Even though that's a bonus for them both. She is there to support this turd of a human being. *sigh* Wanting Lucy to be his friend.

Channeling some 2x06 Tim in telling Tamara she's his training officer not his friend. I mean we all know it was a lie for Tim but very very true for Lucy in this instance. Lucy can see she is losing Tamara to her Tim-like rant and stops. It's here Tamara asks the world of Lucy. By saying she wants to have dinner tonight with her. For her to meet the 'real' Seth. If she only knew how ironic that sentence was...

He has her wrapped out his conniving little finger. I hate it so much. I wanna say how could she be so blind? But I’ve been emotionally manipulated by a man before. It sucks when you come out the other side of it. It happens sadly more often than it should. Ugh the damage this will cause…Lucy being the amazing pseudo mom she is says yes. Wanting to maintain her relationship with her. Not to lose it to Seth and his lies. Other than Tim she is the one person she would do anything for.

Ice cold reception… ooof. You are gonna fail my man. One might ask why come back to this station? Well manipulative narcissists love attention. Even if it’s negative. They thrive off it really. Also they ALWAYS have someone sympathetic to their cause to fuel the sympathy card. In this case it's Tamara. I hate it. Giving me my own ptsd concerning a person like this. I do love Nolan telling him they're skipping roll call get the shop ready. Smart move....

Awesome that his previous errors follow him into his return. No re-do for you. John laying that out right away. Might actually love you in his episode good sir. Seth immediately defending his lie and Nolan is over him already. if you really wanna do this stfu Seth. Only hurting your cause the more you speak.

God Nolan is channeling some Feral Tim here and I’m about it. Get em John! You hurt this station, you hurt Lucy and you dishonored the badge you putz. Nolan is a honorable as they come. Yes that was a compliment lol. And you spat in the face of everything he holds dear about this career. Also you hurt his friend. You are toast my son. Or as Nolan puts it. His nightmare T.O. He crushes Seth with his idc speech.

About how he was raised by someone like him. Grew up with a woman who only used the truth to serve herself. *Mic drop* If that isn’t Seth in a nutshell. Can’t say ever been attracted to Nolan on this show like ever. But hot damn this is a Nolan I can get on board with. lmao I’m enjoying the show. *eats popcorn* Tearing down any preconceived notions this will be easy or he will believe him. Well done John actually really proud of him for this scene. Good job writers.

When Celina tries to see the best about Seth with Lucy all I could do was shake my head. Thinking 'Oh Celina don’t defend him.' That’s the worst thing you could do in this moment. He is not a 'see the best in people kind of guy.' You are talking to the Queen of that and she is over it. He took advantage of her empathy and used it to gain traction in a program he didn’t belong in. As I said earlier he’s doing it for the attention like the lying manipulative narcissist he is. Holy cow this episode is igniting my Sicilian rage with him lol

It brings us to the dinner and how Lucy doesn't have the room to host such an event. So what does she do? Calls her person of course and enlists his help in this. All I could think as she dialed was, OMG Lucy Chen, you’re asking Tim, who’ll go absolutely feral not just for you but for Tamara too, to host this kid in his house for dinner? It's a good thing this man is gone for you. That is quite the ask my girl haha Enticing him with a free home cooked meal at first.

Did make me cackle her eye roll when he said his plans were COD. LOL You love your reclusive little gaming nerd madam. Don't lie. Will say my Feral Tim senses were tingling at the prospect of this. Miles seems so hurt Lucy is cooking for him though. Oh honey, it’s not like that....It's written all over his upset puppy face when it's mentioned. Wanna give him a hug.

The way she says ‘I’ll owe you.’ Dripping with innuendo. Flirt more Lucy my god woman. No shame in her game. Knowing she is being seductive af in her approach. Celina catches on and Lucy has to put up a finger to stop her from saying a word. Knowing exactly what Lucy is throwing down here. Of course he gives in. For a couple reasons. One because Lucy has him wrapped around her finger and she knows it LOL This man would do anything for her. That was the case before he was in love with her. But after? When she has potential sexy times to dangle in front of him? Whew lord. Has him hook, line, and sinker.

Two. He gets nervous with her being so brazen with Miles there. So he answers quickly with an 'Ok.' It's the way his eye dart over to Texas as he delivers his answer that kills me. heh. He can't get too excited with the prospect of her 'owing' him with his rookie in the car lmao I didn't have Lucy seducing Tim with the 'owing' him in on shift on my bingo card. But so glad it happened.

Giving season continues to give. Sweet lord. Celina is all but beaming when Lucy hangs up on him. She is our on-screen shipper this season and I'm here for it. Doesn't waste a second giving her shit about it. She is red af when she tells Celina to shut up haha Lucy is giddy as hell and flying high off that convo and it's adorable to watch. Look at her as red as a tomato once it's said and done. I love it.

There is something so wonderful about how Miles immediately vents his frustration to Tim. This relationship has come so very far. Their scenes just continue to get better as the season goes along. I totally understand his anger. He’s done everything right and yet it’s the bad ones that get the passes. The legs up in life by being dishonest. I could not understand this more if I tried. Twas me in my last job.

His anger is well founded. He’s getting his job back, back pay of 10k, Miles passed up money in 7x13 to do the right thing, and Seth doesn’t and gets all this. 10K in his lap just like that. I get it. Frustrating as hell to watch the bad people of the world have it easier. All I could think was his day will come Texas I promise you.

Karma thou art a cold and relenting bitch. She’s coming for him. He’s racking up bad karma points like he’s collecting carnival tickets. Thing is when he cashes them in all that is waiting is one giant karmic smackdown. Tim tells him exactly that in his statement more or less. For Miles to put him out of his mind. Mark his words *yum* He will wash out again. What ran through my mind after that was your lips to Gods ears Timothy.

Seth comes in wanting more pity. Miles ignores him as first. Holding firm like Tim told him to. Then he gets under his skin about his past. A wound not close to healing and he snaps....As much as he deserves that beating it wasn't the way to go my dear. Tim and Nolan hear the commotion and find them after they've parted.

Tim is less than impressed with their explanation. He looks so disappointed in Miles. That look wasn't enough though. Tim telling Texas straight. His moral compass has me fanning myself. Crushing exactly why he needs to keep his cool. To not let him infect him like he has. Because now look at him. Becoming no better than he is with lying. *sad sigh* He’s not worth it Miles I promise you that. They never are.

Lucy asking where his salad forks are? Lmao. You practically lived with this man. You should know he has no salad forks sweets. lol His fridge full of just beer is such a bachelor thing. I mean that alone should've answered her question really. lol I love him so much. Also could they be more together without being together? His smile when she asked. *happy sigh* I’m on the floor. Just a happy puddle. Leave me here. TIm isn't even pretending he doesn't want to do this with her. He is so happy to have her in his home.

I'm happy to be here as well. Tim's place has become one of my fav spots to be now. They act as married as two people can be that aren't together..... Very s4 of them with the added layer of already knowing they're in love with each other. She legit touches him on her way back into the kitchen. Just watch her while Celina speaks. Her arm touches him with a happy smile before checking on dinner.

I'm dying. Melissa and Eric kill me with their add on's. You know that was intentionally done. They love to make us squee with the smallest things. Just to see if we're looking. I was looking don't you worry. You gotta be looking for this instance but it's there. *screams into a pillow* It's so domestic I'm losing my damn mind. Like her picking lint off his uniform like she did in 5x12. It's second nature this natural touch of hers and it comes through as such. I'm a happy girl.

I love Tim putting his hand up when they hear the doorbell. Shielding her from having to let them in. Wanting to give her that extra time to mentally prep herself for this evening. Such a small but massive gesture. Showing Lucy he's got her back through and through. It makes me so damn happy. He's going to do whatever for her tonight. To do his damndest to help her get through this unscathed.

It's tense as hell from the moment Tim opens the door. They can all feel it. Another reason Tim takes the lead here. His face when he takes their coats....Feral Tim is lurking beneath the surface but keeps him at bay. Loves Lucy so very much to welcome this incredibly unwelcome guest into his home for her. It's as painfully awkward as expected when they come greet Lucy. We see her be genuine in her affections for Tamara and how reserved she is with Seth.

The train wreck of convo continues when he changes course and says 'We-we got you flowers.' Sensing her not caring he got her the flowers. She is trying SO hard to keep it together. Barely squeaks out a thank you before heading back toward the kitchen. ‘What are the chances he took these off a grave?’ Celina Juarez I love you. I was laughing so damn hard at this. Lucy groans and heads back in.

The dinner starts out positive. We find out Tamara is volunteering with a wonderful organization. One that helps homeless people. That they focus on building trust with the mentally ill. Which is utter perfection for her. Honestly that is a *chefs kiss* career trajectory for her. Seems like she is on the right path in every way except for Seth..... Lucy seems so excited and proud of her for it. It does gets slightly tainted with her saying she is going to get Seth involved one day.

Rodge puts his foot in his mouth by speaking in Spanish to Celina about him. Sorry the captions ran over each other. Hulu is a turd lol Saying he's not sure building trust is his thing lol. Gotta give it to him on that one. First time I've liked this dude. Also will give it to them it's cute they communicate in Spanish to each other as a secret language. Still think she could do better but this is cute.

Unfortunately Seth can speak it.....Rodge has to backtrack immediately saying he was just joking. We watch Tim check in on Lucy right away. The way he shifts back in his seat and he keeps his eyes squarely on her. His main concern at this table is her and only her. He did this dinner for her and is ready to be her emotional support should the need arise. Lucy looks ready to burst before this next section happens. It's why Tim is watching her like a hawk.

I will say I loved the looks shared over the table during this whole thing. Oh my lord. The silent communication always a fav of mine. They check in with each other from across the table. Also just the way Tim watches Lucy too. Gauges the whole table but mainly keeps a beat on her. Waiting for a signal to jump in or not. He reads her the entire dinner. I love it. Knowing if she needs him she will signal him. He's just waiting for that sign to tag in or not.

We watch as her ring gets exposed....All I could think was sweet lord no Tamara. You’re so much smarter than this. Seth stumbling saying it's not what it looks like. That it's a promise ring. Rodge coming in with another solid point. Saying that's exactly what a engagement ring is....For a habitual liar he's so very bad at it. It's unreal. Also Celina pulling on her ear like crazy being ignored by all at the table lol We are far past that now though.

I knew the ring was gonna set her off. Hell it set me off. I had to pause and reprimand her myself. This is Lucy's tipping point. Especially after Seth says he had extra money lying around. Poor choice of words to use my dude. I love the way Tim's eyes shift over to Lucy when she says 'You had extra money?' angrily. He knows when his girl is ready to go off on one. But she is off to the races before he can do anything about it.

He wasn't stopping this one. Instead he just sit backs and watches her let it rip. Knowing she needs to get this out of her system. Lucy lets out all she’s had pent up. He is PTSD in walking form for her. Not only that but he's infecting someone very dear to her. So I get it. It’s already a tough pill for her to swallow with just him at work. But with Tamara and her future? Being so nonchalant bout the ring and how he got it. She can't handle it any longer.

Sadly no one hears anger clearly when they’re already on the defensive. Especially if it’s about someone they’re protecting. Which is Tamara in this moment. Even though Lucy is in the right it's not well received. It's why Tim doesn't jump in. I was expecting some Feral Tim but this was the smarter play for him. Even if it wasn't the right move to lose it he didn't need interfere. It would just pour fuel on Lucy’s fire and do nothing to ease the tension. We watch Tamara take off with Seth as a result and it's not easy to stomach.

We see Tim showing up like a god damn snack the following morning. Hell not just a snack but a whole god damn meal. Scruffy in a leather jacket and henley.*fans self* Not only that but he has arrived to support her before his shift. I’m dead. I’m posting from the grave. If you've been looking for his small doses all year. This is a glaringly sweet one. My god look at how excited he looks to just share a ride and prep with her. Doing his Lucy smile in front of other people. OTHER PEOPLE. Transparent Tim you are a wonder.

I’m dying of happiness right now. She is giving heart eyes right back at him. Truly touched by his thoughtfulness to show up before work and make the time for this. Make time for her. Forever floored by the changed man in front of her. After the mess that was last night, this was exactly what she needed and her reaction says it all. Legit flirting in front of Celina and Rodge too. They don’t even care. Tim doesn't care. Which is mind blowing.

He is sunshine from the moment he steps into that apartment. Yes, that's right I said Tim Bradford and sunshine in the same sentence. And I'm not referring to Lucy in this regard. He is so damn happy to just be there for her and its radiating off him in waves. So much so he is flirting with her in front of people. Pre-therapy Tim never would've. He's grown so much in his openness I could cry. He is a puppy dog in love and doesn't care who see's it. It's written all over his demeanor from the moment he walks in the door.

'What was that?' LMAO You think you can get shit past his cop eyes? Foolish fools lol But also babe, you were a shining beacon of 'I’m in love with Lucy' from the moment you walked in the door. Even a laymen like Rodge could see it….You guys aren't known for your subtlety either haha But you were on blast from the moment you came in. Just like he has been all season long. Also doesn't help his case Lucy was just as flirtatious in return. Fueling his flames. I love him trying to sell the whole ‘we’re just friends’ thing.

Like showing up for her, heart practically on his sleeve, is just some casual act of support. You two couldn’t do casual if your lives depended on it.. He's so god damn cute trying to defend himself though. I cannot. While we know he is there to support her. Truly he is. There is zero doubt about that. The man is ecstatic to help her cross the finish line of this. Especially since the detective one was such a disaster. But the other half is damn near giddy about the implications of her passing this test. We all know what those are. I don't even to type that up.

To say he is excited about the prospect is an understatement. I love his defeated ‘OK'. Hahahaha Eric's inflection killing me and has me rolling so much. Knows he is in a losing battle with these two and just gives up lol Also I wouldn't be me if I didn't comment on how sinfully delicious he looks. Holy fuck he is looking all kinds of fine. It's criminal how attractive this man is. Scruffy, in a leather jacket and a tight shirt? God damn the man is a feast for the eyes. He is sex on two legs walking. Sweet lord he is exuding illegal levels of attractiveness. It's almost unfair. Also seeing him so happy and free is insanely sexy in its own right I have to say. *phew* Ok I'm done. I might need some ice water though. lmao

Tim doesn’t waste a second on the drive to her test—he jumps straight into firing off questions. Or he's been firing them off for awhile at this point, with the way they drift off topic. Either way look at the blatant heart eyes and smile as Tim quizzes her. Just look at her. Oh my lord. It's bringing her back Tim doing this for her. Also for how much this last minute prep means to her. They didn't get to do this with the detectives exam.

Always blows my mind how much these two both convey with just their eyes. Be more in love with him Lucy. I dare you. You're just as transparent as your counterpart. My goodness. If he looked over long enough he would see her gushing at him. She is in full on swoon mode over this man right now. Also sorry the gif gets blurry for a second.

My phone did a thing and I was too lazy to re-make it not gonna lie lmao Tim's reply of 'Very good.' has Lucy buzzing. He asks if she feels ready? Lucy feeling as ready as a person can be for such a test. Tim's satisfied smile is the sweetest as he accepts this answer. Happy she is a in a good space before all of this.

We can see Lucy psyching herself up to say something to Tim. Knowing this last minute prep is more than just that. Trying to pull it out of him the real reason WHY he’s doing this. Needing to hear it. She starts off with thanking him for the ride. Tim being chill saying it's no problem. Lucy tries again with thanking him for helping her study. She is beating around the bush here and he is not picking up what she is throwing down right now haha Which is a rarity for them.

I truly think he feels he was returning the favor for her. Genuine in his reply. Another one of his small doses in action. To repay her kindness to him. For helping him out all those years ago when he went for it. To support her the way she did for him in s2. I think he genuinely wanted to make a meaningful difference this time. Carrying the weight of her failed Detectives exam on his shoulders a bit.

Knowing what an absolute disaster that was. Wanting this one to go so much better than the first time he helped her out. Lucy isn't getting the reaction she wants though. Clearly she is wanting to talk about what happens if she passes. In this moment, that future suddenly holds a lot of appeal to her. Especially after all he's done for her with this exam. This ride of their's being the cherry on the top of it all.

This is my favorite part of this scene. The banter alone is glorious holy shit. We are so lucky to have Eric and Melissa helming this couple. Displaying that lightning in a bottle only they have. No one does it better than our ship at verbal sparring. Lucy can't take it any longer and finally just says what's on her mind. She asks if part of the reason he's doing this has anything to do with the promise she made? One of 'physical intimacy' if she makes Sergeant. Such a Lucy way to approach this without saying anything about a relationship. lol The promise of that is part of it of it for sure. Not gonna lie. But we know that is not all of it.

It's a damn good by-product of her passing though lol I love him saying not if but when she makes Sergeant. My man still building her up even when she's giving him shit. Her smile says it all though. Just soaking in his praise. He continues on saying that this is what friends do for each other. It's his sassy comment following this that gets me the most. I was dying with his tone and absolute snark while delivering it. Facial expressions and all. Tim throwing back her words at her had me cackling. Not only that but adding his own spin. 'Without thinking of The joys of physical intimacy.' I'm dying. Now hers is a more refined version of ‘naked time’ moment imo. It's what it reminds me of. LOL I love it sfm.

Tim doesn't let her get away with it either in his reply. The flirting is on another level here. Holy hell. The verbal sparring is foreplay x1000 for these two. Lucy knows he is mocking her and calls him on it. Asking if he really thinks this the best path forward? She is smiling the entire time btw. Tim doesn't hesitate with his dazzling Lucy smile and reply. 'Yeah absolutely.' You know she loves this. Has missed this rapport with him. It's an intimacy she has longed to have back. This kind of banter is at their very core. It’s so cute and light and fun. I’m dizzy with delight we've returned to this place. If you were wondering if they're back. Truly back. This moment is proof of that. Seamless flirty banter at it's finest. Healing this old shipper heart of mine.

Tim follows that up by saying that, once she has passed the test, they won't have that pesky rank issue anymore. First off love his certainty she's going to crush this. Just like detective there is no doubt in his mind she's got this. Second Tim is once again throwing down they could be together after she passes. Tried and true this year in his steadfastness with that. Letting her know on every level how much he wants to be with her.

Hasn't been shy or reserved in the least regarding that. It’s up to Lucy to decide if she wants that when they get there though. He respects her boundaries about this. Something he's been so damn good at this entire season. He ends their convo telling her 'Not that either of them are reading into that though.' Yeah not at all.... Not what this entire convo was centered around... Tim once more as he has all year is leaving it up to her.

Laying it at her feet to do with it what she will. Giving Lucy her agency back a little bit more each time he does this. Building her up, showing his interest and desire to be with her. BUT ultimately leaving it up to her to decide their fate. It has to be Lucy to be one the decide she wants to do this again. It’s very clear Tim does. But he won’t make a move unless she does. Respecting her boundaries as he’s done since their chat during their stakeout in 6x10.

Was happy to See Tamara there when Lucy arrived home from her test. It's a little tense at first when she asks about the test. Lucy giving best answer she can. Letting Tamara lead this conversation. Doesn't take her long to apologize. To show her how much she doesn't want to lose her friendship with her over it all. Lucy having the best reply she can in this moment.

Telling her that's not possible and giving the sweetest hug. The relief on Tamara's face is everything. Her relationship with Lucy means everything to her. Glad she was able to tap back into that and come apologize. That Seth hadn't clouded her that much. Their sweet reconciliation is interrupted by news about Seth.

Oh my, I LOVE the Tim and miles scene here. Miles being the good soul he is feels immense guilt. For fighting with him and being resentful. For lashing out on him like he did. Now that he's hurt he is feeling like a complete ass. I adore how Tim is here for him in this moment. Knowing it's complex what he is feeling right now. That he feels stupid for not listening to Tim. For letting his emotions win out. Tim can see all this churning inside him.

So he steps up to help him through it. His advice is perfection here. First off let me say how proud I am of Tim for telling Miles his feelings are valid. That Seth has earned that anger and resentment out of him. Doesn't shame him for feeling this way at all. That it's ok he feels this. Regardless of what's going on right now in this moment with him. Letting him know yeah he's a bad guy. A bad guy who did a heroic and selfless thing. So yeah it's going to be murky on how to feel. That it's complicated to say the least.

To me personally this doesn't erase all he did. It was heroic and selfless that much is sure. Did I want this fate for him? Of course not. I wanted him to go out on his job performance not this. They all did. I just love Tim seeing the guilt Miles is carrying and tries to assuage him of it a little. Might not be able alleviate it all but Tim validating him is everything. This such a lovely scene between them. They've come so far and this scene is a wonderful reflection of that.

John Nolan had some excellent scenes with Seth in this episode. Seriously if they wrote him more like they have this season, my respect would come back. He handled this entire things like a pro. Didn't let Seth shake or deter him in anyway. This scene right here was so so good. Kudos to Patrick and his performance here. It's phenomenal. This was karma in all it's glory happening right here. The one time he’s actually selfless and heroic, it destroys the career he so fiercely protected with his web of lies.

It's poetic justice at it absolute finest I will say. John's words here are so full of sage and true wisdom. This kid is getting a huge lesson and it's up to him to decide what to do with it. Up him to him to chart a course back to being a good person. First time Seth has been honest since he arrived. Telling John he doesn't know if he can maintain that road of honesty. He's not sure he can take another road in this crossroads. Will he continue at the station or any station in a diminished capacity? I don't think so. That would require serious work on himself and being ok with the fact he can't have career he wants to anymore. To not have excuses.

Nolan already called him out about shortcuts. While this may have earned him some good will. I don't see him putting in that effort to stick around the station in this capacity. John doesn't get to finish this with him though. Let's Tamara have time with him. He tells her everything (finally) and of course she breaks it off. Saying Lucy warned her. She sure did sweets.....This is what being a manipulating habitual liar gets you. Someday you run out of people to support you. Now he has to go through this leg trauma alone. That's rough. Like I said not a fate I would've wished on him. But definitely one he earned...

Look at them meeting up at the end of the day. Discussing Tamara. My heart. Tamara googling how to join a nunnery. lol Oh my word. I do not blame her. Poor thing I can't even. It’s gonna take her some time to get past this. That is for sure. Learning to trust people again is knowing you could be hurt again. That is an unfortunate fact of life sadly. Tim’s reply made me cackle though. I love him. Lucy saying it’ll pass. It will. Like a kidney stone but it will…. I love him immediately moving onto how she’s doing? The soft way he asks her is everything. Be still my heart.

Look at where we are everyone. Just look. Last time they were at this table they were physically together. But emotionally? Miles and miles apart from where they are now. They’ve come so far to be in this moment right now. With Lucy leaning on him emotionally like this. Very couple like thing to do. Get a meal after work and discuss their day together. Adore her venting out her anxieties to him. Wondering how she really did on that test.

Been a slow climb back to the top. But a gloriously beautiful one. We haven't hit the summit yet but we're getting there. It's on the horizon Fandom. Don't these moments feel like they just hit more with having built up to it? They do for me. Like we earned them. That Tim has earned this time with her. Getting to see and share in this side of her again. It's so glorious. I mean we haven't even gotten to reconciliation yet and I'm on a ship high. I can't even imagine how rewarding that'll feel when we arrive there. It'll feel hard-won and all the more satisfying I know that.

Tim being s7 is perfection in his reply. Doing what he's done so well all year. Build her up. Not letting her have an ounce of doubt. Saying there is no way to know but let’s assume she aced it. Positive thinking can’t hurt tbh. Look at Tim being positive for her. Not letting any self doubt creep in. Man believes in her so much it’s unreal. Lucy kicking into flirting mode. Saying what should they do based off that assumption? Wondering where he is going with this. I mean she has to know a little. But is trying to confirm.

Tim leaning forward all sexy and seductive just says ‘Celebrate?’ This man could not want her more if he tried. He’s always a billboard but my goodness he is forward with his question. I’m here for it. Chomping at the bit to be with her again. Shows in his body language and telling reply. I will commend Lucy for her self control here. My good look at him.

If Tim Bradford leaned forward looking like that. All flirty and staring at me like he is at Lucy and said 'Celebrate?' With his cute puppy dog in love face. I would drag him to the nearest dark corner and have my way with him. LOL But I understand Lucy's hesitation below. I truly do. If this doesn't work out like they want and she gives in. All it'll cause is for the water between them to get murkier and they'll just be miserable for it. Because at the end of the day nothing would've changed for them at work. She just can't risk it till it's a sure thing.

I love her resetting his expectations here as well. Holding true to that emotional boundary she set in 7x12. Nothing physical past midnight on April Fool's. Also it’s is VERY important he knows she didn’t take this test for him. To put her foot down about it. All flirting aside this is first time she's felt any stability in her career in a long time. Or joy for the future because she now has a goal in mind. S6 wrecked her in so many ways. Her remaining damage about that is showing in this moment IMO. Because last time she did anything in her career for him it blew up on her. Epically. As we all painfully know. Very important to her that distinction is being made here.

This is for her. For her to have career clarity. Her PTSD shining through in this moment I will say. She is desperate to have a different outcome this time. This moment reminds me of her setting the expectations back in 5x10. Where Tim was ready for some naked time and Lucy had to guide him to where she’s at. Beautiful thing is Tim just like he did then is going to honor what she wants. He may be ready to go right now but Lucy isn’t. It's why he poses 'celebrating' as a question to her. Wants to test the waters but also wants to continuously meet her where she is at. He respects the boundary she just laid out. And for him to understand why she did this.

Tim understands completely. Saying Of course. That it was a smart career move. And it is. He’ll always champion her having a successful career. Always. It reflects in his reply back to her. Sitting back and physically respecting the boundary as well. Lucy continues on saying she hasn’t passed yet. That things haven’t changed between them before that. He’s still currently her boss. Also feel like there may be just one more chat ahead of us. I could be wrong. But that ‘things haven’t changed between us' felt loaded. There was some charged anger in that ‘I didn’t take this test for you.’ There is probably more here I can't discern just yet. Have to wait till the end of the season but feel solid my initial analysis of this.

After Lucy says her piece we are right back to flirty hopefulness. They’re drawn to it like a moth to a flame, especially as we get closer to this reconciliation. Tim rests back in his seat knowing there will be no celebrating here tonight. He shot his shot and was denied. He respects it immediately. But stay’s steady in his hope there will be in the future. Saying next week we will know. With this knowing smile that Lucy mirrors right back at him. Smiling back with her own heart eyes and in love smile. Saying 'Yes we will.’ Oooh lord we close fandom we are so close. Look at how much these two just love each other.

The smiles saying more than words ever could. Especially Lucy's. That is the smile of a woman who is ready for this next chapter with Tim. For this next chapter of her career. If it comes with the love of her life on top of it. That is just a delicious addition to it all. They’re legit having eye sex at the food truck park. My god. I'll be intrigued to see what happens when she passes. She's forgiven him. He knows as such. The test has been this barrier to true reconciliation for awhile. What will happen when that barrier is truly gone? How Lucy reacts when there is nothing left standing in their way anymore?

Will the second confession she almost made in 7x15 get its conclusion? Idk and that's the fun part. I know I am excited to see how this season wraps up. This season has been a wonderful wild card in the best way. Could not be more pleased with their development this year. The slow burn and delayed gratification has been beyond amazing to watch unfold. Thank you to every single reader who likes, comments ( these are so fun), and reblog these impressions. Had a blast this year. You all are the reason for that. See you all in 7x17 :)

~~~

Side notes-non Chenford

Love the boys getting ready. Talking sports. Miles coming in Texas Af LOL It was such a cute way to start the episode.

‘Where’s Darwinism when you need it?’ I love this man so much it’s insane. Never change my love never change. Was excited I got to fit this in.

Nolan got some damn good dialogue in this one. I have to say. Him asking where that man's fandom was that helped them? Solid John. Very Solid.

Those social media kids drove me insane. I must be getting old LOL

I love how Lucy handled that idiotic crowd for Angela. My blood was boiling. Handled it like a damn champ.

Can’t say next weeks excites me. Because I can’t stand Skip tracer Randy tbh. Hopefully it’ll be good regardless of him being there and we get some follow-up for Chenford and the Sergeant exam. But my guess is that’ll be more of a finale thing? I don't do spoilers so I don't actually want an answer haha We shall see either way.

[helpmyinterestsareverywhere]

Just realised I never actually gave a real verdict on my thoughts & feelings of Dragon's Rising Season 3 - I just made like 4 posts with Spoilers & then dipped LMAO

SPOILER-FREE VERDICT: holy shit. They are doing THINGS and they are doing them well. It's a FANTASTIC start to S3 & I'm clawing at the wall waiting for what they do for the next 10 episodes. It's seriously so good. Im so excited‼️‼️

SPOILER VERDICT:

- me every 3 seconds with every episode

ALL MY BABIES ARE FINALLY BACK!!!! UGH I LOVE THEM SO MUCH.

LLOYD‼️‼️ ONI RECOGNITION‼️‼️ HE SPOKE ABOUT THEM & THEIR RELATION TO THE FSM - WE'RE GETTING CLOSER TO A ONI/DRAGON LLOYD HERITAGE REVEAL TO THE OTHERS I JUST KNOW IT‼️‼️ uuuughhoughh Lloyd... my favourite traumatised pathetic wet cat of a man. How is he still kicking I will never know. HIT HIM WITH MORE TRAUMA PLEASE‼️‼️ although. Maybe scale back and don't kill him again because OH MY GOD. HE HAD HIS SOUL EATEN??? WHAT THE HELL?? he can't go ONE day without everything happening to him. ALSO! I really hope The Fact that Thunderfang ACTUALLY managed to eat his soul & get the Source Dragon energy comes back round to bite the Ninja in the ass. It probably won't but GOD they could definitely do something with that.

PIXAL AND ZANE. they're so in love it's actually disgusting /pos - let them kiss you COWARDS THEY LOVE EACH OTHER SO MUCH SOULMATES FOR LIFE ooooooough I'm rooting for them so much - but also how dare they play built to protect like that I'm gonna kill them.

Sora and Frak were. Interesting. But I GET it. They're brought together through weird circumstances, Sora most DEFINITELY still had some wariness due to Frak being with Ras before & Frak desperately trying to prove himself to show that he's NOT a terrible person, just manipulated & misguided due to finding Ras first ouuuugh I love them. Their relationship, of 2 guys who have the same best friend but have never met, is SO GOOD. THEYRE AWKWARD, THEYRE SNIPPY AND SARCASTIC, THEY ARE NOT COMFY TO BEGIN WITH!!! & that's PERFECT! honest to god - it's 100% the vibe when you're new to a job (Frak) & desperately trying to make friends with your coworkers your age but desperately trying to seem normal oooough they're so weird. honestly I would have LOVED to see how they kept progressing it BUT!

SORA & ARIN. I can't lie - REALLY wasn't expecting Sora to go with Arin & Ras. BUT! It's probably bc I honestly didn't expect Arin to go back to Ras. I wasn't expecting him to go with the Ninja, no way in hell he does NOT feel comfy with them at the moment still & he's still mad at Wu, but I REALLY thought he'd go his own way bc he is just SO FED UP with Ras. (Aren't we all?) BUT the fact that they DID go together is really nice, my babies☹️ they're best friends they love each other so much they mean so much to me. I hope they leave Ras in part 2, I hope Sora can convince Arin to find his own way - OH! WHAT OF 1 OF THE NINJA FIND SORA BY HERSELF & TELL HER THAT ARIN'S PARENTS ARE ALIVE & SORA TELLS ARIN & ITS A WHOLE PARALLEL TO THEM FROM SEASON 2 WITH THE LYING & TRUST OOOOUGH. just a thought.

JAY! Jay. Jayyyyyyy... I saw someone say, on twitter I think? I dunno, that if we didn't know Jay = Rogue the reveal would have been AMAZING & I 100% agree - like HOLYYYYYY SHIT they've done him SOOOOOO well I love him. The whole thing with him in the last fight, STILL MAKING TERRIBLE PUNS??? NYA'S EXCITEMENT AND HAPPINESS OVER HIM STILL BEING IN THERE DESPITE THE MEMORY LOSS?? UGH DOOMED JAYA PLEASE BE UNDOOMED SOON I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE

Kai, Nya & Wyldfyre... OOOOUGH they're so silly. Nya & Kai were at each other's THROATS this time - I was a little wide-eyed every time they had their arguments, BUT I've seen SOOOOO many people say that they were ACTUALLY acting like siblings this time round & since I don't have those (hi yes im an only child) I'm gonna believe everyone else bc I don't completely understand how siblings work‼️‼️like TRUST I've seen siblings arguments and I would NEVER imagine doing that to someone and having us actually talk to eachother again afterwards but I guess that's just how you guys work. Freaks. ALSO! Despite me LITERALLY just saying i dont understand sibling dynamics lmao - Kai & Wlydfyre. Are definitely siblings. They WERE giving father & daughter when first introduced but NO WAY anymore. They are SOOOOOOOO older brother & little sister with a BIG age gap. I love them so much - ESPECIALLY Kai's attitude towards her & Roby. He was SO ready to kick ass when Roby got messed with & Wlydfyre was upset ouuughh...

MORRO: I didn't realise how much I missed him? He's not a character that I like. Think about a lot (like the main guys) but I've never hated him. But holy shit wow they've done him good they did him so good I LOVE his character. ALTHOUGH! WHY WAS HE EATEN AT THE END?? Brought him back JUST to kill him??? WILD do the writers even like him. DARETH: why. I have a... love/hate relationship with him tbh - I straight up never know how to feel about him he's so fucking strange. I've missed him. I wish he didn't come back. I hope he annoys the Ninja again. I hope he dissappears forever <3 ARRAKORE: UGH IVE MISSED HIM SO MUCH. I really love him☹️ he's so sweet and nice and the fact that he's ONLY doing good wishes UGH I CANT WAIT FOR HIM TO REBUILD DJINJAGO HES SO GOOD AND COOL. I want him back forever and he needs all the screen time ever actually

Anyway yeah LOVED this season‼️‼️ can't wait for part 2 gonna go back to rolling around on the floor in writhing agony /pos

[mosaicstardust]

I’m a scrambled mess of thoughts that don’t even make sense but oh my god, that episode was good. Insane how much better it was than the last few. So many fantastic character moments. Karen, I love you always. Pepa, you’re an icon and I can’t believe you’re back on my screen being spectacular.

Buck and Eddie??? Insane. Just insane. First of all, round of applause for the acting because damn, were the boys killing it (and me) with every scene. The kitchen scene was overwhelming. That’s the kind of crazy messy grief I wanted especially with these two being each other’s main support system and neither really breaking down with each other, just bottling things up until you get this explosion. I know, I know, some people are gonna be nasty about Eddie losing it and being mean or whatever but dude, that was perfectly clashing trauma between those two. Ugh, when Eddie brought up trying to not lose it and scare Christopher when he got the call? You know, not scare his kid like he did the last time he had a phone call at night about someone he served with dying unexpectedly when Eddie feels like he should have saved them? Yeah, destroyed me. But then going to get Christopher and apologizing and everything being as okay as it can be? (And Pepa talking about “our Eddie” and calling Buck pet names because this is clearly normal?? Fanfic come to life and I love it) I also know some people are saying it’s bad that Eddie “always” uses Chris to cheer up Buck or whatever but like… that’s his whole heart. He’s offering his entire reason for being, the centre his universe turns around because he trusts Buck that much and is there really a better way to express an apology and make it clear that they’re still good and their deal to have each other’s backs is still on? (Plus I’m sure Christopher wanted his family back together too because the poor kid is also going through it)

I don’t know, I could keep rambling, but the point is - this was great. I’m actually excited for the finale now. I’m begging them to keep this energy and not whatever the fuck the last three episodes was. This was just so good and I cannot wait to reblog smarter people’s thoughts on it lol

[stephreviews]

Steph's Weekly Watchlist (Apr. 8th)

Aaaaand we're back! Sorry y'all, visiting my sister really threw me off. Turns out it's hard to watch BLs when you're hanging out with a 2 year old and a 5 year old.

QL Dramas - Currently Watching

Lost in the Woods (Wed, Airing: 4/7)

Okay what the fuck why is this low budget drama so good? I'm really enjoying the push and pull between Fifa and Hem. I really loved 1000 Stars, but one of my criticisms of it was that they treated Tian like he couldn't do anything. Fifa is finding his way and proving himself to the townspeople one step at a time, and I love that.

My Golden Blood AKA Gay Twilight (Wed, Airing: 5/12)

This show is everything I wanted it to be. Vampires? ✅ Weird sniffing kink? ✅ Joss taking his shirt off every 3 seconds? ✅

Top Form (Thurs, Airing: 5/11)

They knew what they were doing when they cast these two. Logically, I know that Boom is the same age as my older sister. However, I still am watching this show and going "he's just a little guy. Just a smol bean. Just a little blushing kitty cat" Also holy fuck their chemistry

Sweet Tooth, Good Dentist (Fri, Airing: 3/12)

This is the silly romcom I need right now. Jay is so silly but so earnest, I love him. Sant is so relatable. Poor? Same. Too busy for love? Same. Work work work? Same.

Your Sky of Us (Sat, Airing: 3/3)

My cuties are back and they are soft and cute and fluffy and ugh. I can't wait for Domundi's other shows this year. I need Domundi to venture into GL. I wonder what they could do with it.

QL Dramas - Catching Up

I'm Your Moon (Sun, Airing: 5/8, ME: 1/8)

I promised myself I would start keeping up with GLs this year, so I'm determined to watch this one. It includes one of my all time favorite tropes: soulmates!

Heesu in Class 2 (Fri & Sat, Airing: 3&4/10, ME: 1/10)

I've seen lots of good things about this, but haven't had a chance to watch yet, so I've gotta catch up this week!

QL Dramas - Completed

Flirt Milk

This drama was a wild ride. I never knew what was going on, and I mostly watched it out of some horrid fascination. See my full review here.

Ossan's Love TH

I really loved this! ...right up until the last episode. Earth and Mix did amazing, as usual. I also loved Krit, he did an awesome job. We love to see older LGBT representation. See my full review here.

Perfect 10 Liners

Ugh. P10L has been my weekly Sunday show for so long!! I can't believe it's over. It wasn't a perfect drama, but it did so many things well. For one: it brought us the lovely couples of PerthSanta and JuniorMark. I ran out of time to write the full review, so check that out tomorrow.

Rebound the Series

While procrastinating my job (whoopsie...) I watched Rebound, and damn I was surprised by how much I liked it! I have now watched every MeenPing show, and every show I am surprised by how much they grow. I really love them. Check out my review tomorrow as well.

Other Dramas

Boys Journey Outing (Fri, Airing: 11/11)

I'm so glad they did a season 2 of this show. It's so funny. Unfortunately, episode 10 still didn't have English Subtitles on YouTube when I last checked, so I'll check back again when I can.

The First Frost (Completed, ME: 4/32)

Alright @dangermousie I finally started, and God damn it, it's so good I had to ban myself from watching during work hours. The eyes! The longing!

Schedule

Stole this idea from @absolutebl - here's the viewing schedule for the next two weeks

[xecutivecucumber]

Executive Cucumber's thoughts on the Bad Batch: Season 3x06 and 3x07 (I'm pretty sure I'm formatting this differently every time. Oh well)

Okay, there's a subject I'm going to have to postpone until the end of the post because I want all my thoughts on that to be together: the main operative clone. And the rest might be slightly out of order. I'm also doing this before I see anyone else's thoughts, just so we get the pure version.

Let's go!

I honestly thought that Senator Singh and Riyo were dead meat. But no, they're fine because REX IS COOLER THAN ANYONE. Ugh that man. Freaking throwing the grenade back at him.

Clones are beautiful. That is all.

THAT'S THAT ONE PLACE FROM THE OG CLONE WARS MOVIE!!! TETH!!!

Howzer I love you but if you touch Crosshair we will be having words.

I am actually really proud of Crosshair and his restraint this episode. He could have been really cutting to Howzer.

OMEGA WITH THE TOOTHPIIIIICKS and Hunter is jealouuuus

EDIT: ECHO AND THE CROSSBOW HE'S SO SWEET

WHAT DID THEY DO TO YOU CROSSHAIR

It's really nice to see normal clones being normal again. (Too bad it doesn't last)

There's something up with Omega. I'm not going to lie, I think that she and Rex are going to plan to get her captured in order to track her back to Tantiss.

HOWZER STOP DISTRUSTING CROSSHAIR THIS MOMENT

I appreciate that Hunter doesn't seem to distrust Crosshair during this point.

...they really shouldn't have brought that operative back.

Rex is considering stealing Omega, I swear. I love that he gets down to her level.

WOOOOOOOOOOOLFFE (Plo would be so disappointed in you)

It's...odd to see these normal troopers with him.

It's also strange that he cannot comprehend that the clones could be traitors at first.

STOP DYING YOU BEAUTIFUL REGS

'She only bites half the time' I'm pretty sure Omega is lying here but I don't care.

CROSSHAIR IS SUCH A WORRIED DAD HOLY CRAP. 'Oh, I'm much worse' I LOVE YOU

And this just gives such a little insight into how the Batch was when they were together. I have a feeling that Crosshair was a fusser and a nagger.

And I love how Howzer's natural and correct conclusion is: 'no one evil could love that child.' (Unless you're Nala Se)

Hey, actual candor from Crosshair. I keep saying this is who he always was under it all, but I do think he's healed somewhat, at least towards regs. The healing power of Omega.

'Too bad' I LOVE THIS MAN

STOP DYING REGS

Rex talking down Wolffe reminded me so much of him trying to talk Jesse down. So ow.

Okay, what ROCK have they shoved Wolffe under for the last YEAR??? YES THE EMPIRE WOULD GET RID OF THE CLONES YOU DOG BRAINED IDIOT

(Plo would be proud that you let them go)

...they just killed all of Rex's clones, except Howzer and Gregor. And I have a bad feeling about Howzer. STOP TAKING THINGS FROM REX HASN'T HE LOST ENOUGH???

Okay here we are, at the big topic. Hold onto your pants.

That operative clone. Is. Tech. Because if he is not, they are purposefully using the narrative to deceive us.

I might miss a few things, but that's because I'm up past my bedtime and I've been up too late the last few days.

1. The falling and water parallels. This clone falls a LOT during this episode and dives into a lot of water. He even falls into mist. This time it's to kill and capture his siblings instead of save them.

2. The injury. This clone is hobbling around a lot after his injury, which was immediately reminiscent of Tech's broken leg at the beginning of season 2. Both of them are forcing themselves past their limit to achieve a mission. Specifically with injured legs.

3. General attitude and demeanor. In combination with the stealth and injury, this clone has a more hunched posture. His speech patterns are more formal, though we haven't really heard a lot of other clone operatives talk with their helmets on. But he's also apparently allergic to orders. I first thought that he'd be out of the chain of command, but they would have told Wolffe that he wasn't in charge of the operative if that were the case. Or the operative would have straight up told him 'I don't take orders from you' instead of staring awkwardly at him. Instead he runs off and does his own thing. While injured. Not to mention the buttons on his gauntlet. The other clone operatives don't have those.

4. The cybernetic legs. Now we don't know for sure if Tech would have cybernetic legs, but it seems likely for a severely injured trooper. And when Crosshair is looking at the heat signature, you can see that his legs are blue instead of yellow or red. No heat. Not organic.

5. What he says to Crosshair. 'You could have been one of us.' 'You chose the wrong side.' Yes, he's talking about Crosshair resisting the re-education. But flip it on its head real quick. 'You could have been one of us. One of the Bad Batch.' 'You chose the wrong side. The Empire.' Those lines very easily have double meanings.

6. An interesting one is when he starts moving rocks after the explosion. Why would he do that? Why not immediately go find another way in? He's moving only the smaller rocks. There's a large one in the way that he couldn't move himself. And he doesn't get the rest of the troopers to come move it when they arrive. He almost seems confused.

Like he's somewhere else after an explosion, having to move rocks. Like in the Crossing.

I know that this hardly seem like iron clad evidence. But in the language of story telling, it's practically screaming in our faces.

And I'm so glad he's back. I missed him. He won't be himself for a while, but I legitimately believe we'll get one last fight with the Batch all together. Because brain washing is a heck of a lot easier to fix than being dead.

My sister is doing the good work and creating a tik token about it, and I'll probably share it here when she's finished.

(We're getting the episode 'Identity Crisis ON MY BIRTHDAY and so help me if that's about Tech)

Honestly I thought I'd be more excited, but I spent the entire two episodes forcing myself into not having expectations and also I might be in shock.

[wayward-robin]

4x08 – Hope Springs Paternal thoughts

Favourite episode of the series yet! Hands down!

Mickey basically admitted he’s in love with Ian?! Did that seriously happen?! I actually had to pause to flail in excitement over this development! I am seriously shook!

And the club scene?! That was something else! Seeing Mickey realise that there was a safe space for him to be able to want Ian was just ugh! Such a good scene! Noel Fisher’s range of emotions through that sequence was just beautiful.

Svetlana threatening Ian was not cool! Can’t they all just be friends? I mean Terry’s been shit to absolutely all of them! I’m sure Svetlana feels as stuck in the situation as Mickey and Ian do. They’re all victims of his tyranny if only they’d pause a sec to realise that.

I’m not actually sure how much sway Svetlana has with Terry right not with him not being around, I’m not too concerned.

I am worried about Ian. Why is so erratic? I thought it was drugs but now I’m not convinced that’s all it is…

Is the key to Lip making friends and actually socialising Liam? Ha! Should’ve been taking him around campus with him all year. He’s certainly getting Lip a lot of attention.

Kev’s kids aren’t even born yet and he’s gone all papa bear over them! That’s so sweet but Kev is the biggest pushover. I can't see him using any sort of weapon seriously.

Although wait… Carol is keeping her baby with Kev? What the heck was the point of all those weird threesomes last season?!

Fiona had small and justifiable freak out this ep as the reality of what has happened slowly dawns her. Her walking around the empty house was so sad. Her actions have really shaken the foundation of the Gallaghers unit. It’s dark but I’m enjoying the fallout a lot. Nothing’s being brushed aside.

Robbie appearing made me want to punch his smug face. I sort of wanted Fiona to push him down the stairs but alas he walked away unharmed. 

Pleased Lip realised that Fiona isn’t their parents. The only way she’s gonna really get through this is to be around her family and rebuild the trust. I’m so happy he brought Liam back to the house.

[quinnieeeee]

Marauders fanfic omgggg (BPD James)

Word count- 2.5k

Summery- after harry was born, James got in a depressive episode, and a bad one. Lily, obviously can't take care of all three of them, goes to get the much-needed help.

This part is more focused on Lily, I'll upload the next part in a few days.

Tw- depression description, realistic panic attack, general angst

It has been weeks since James has left his bed. 

It started small- less jokes, less bright remarks, but slowly it slipped into less light in his eyes. It got harder to make him leave their bed, to eat, has been longer then Lily could remember from the last time he showered.

And with new-born Harry, it had become harder and harder for her to take care of both- three of them, really.

She knew the depression came and went in waves, but this one has been drowning him, leaving no room for air in his heavy lungs. It had him on a short leash, tightening around his neck every time he only thought about screaming for help- so he was left, motionless, rotting in their bed, where they used to look into each other’s eyes for hours at a time.

And now… Emptiness.

Lily tried everything- giving him time, lying next to him quietly, trying to feed him, gently coaxing him out of bed, crying, shouting, begging- but her words fell to deaf ears.

Today, she thought she had it.

It was afternoon, and with Harry sleeping in her arms, she once again brought him a plate  with food, ignoring the days worth of full, untouched plates piling up from James’s worsening condition. She put the plate on his bed stand, mumbled a quiet “I love you”, and turned on her heels towards the door, when she had an idea. Harry was still sleeping peacefully, and maybe…

James was lying on his side, staring blankly at the wall, as she carefully placed Harry in his arms, searching his eyes for any reaction in his eyes for his own son, for the smallest light in his eye that will hopefully show her it’s not too late yet.

But he didn’t even blink. His breath stayed still, barely there.

That was it for Lily.

With tears choking her, she took Harry back, wishing for him to stay asleep, and rushed out of the bedroom. She ran to Harry’s room, shoving his clothes and diapers to a bag, and left. She needed help.

The next thing she was lucid enough to remember was her walking up Sirius and Remus’s driveway, with one thought repeating in her mind- “before it’s too late.” And there she was, frantically knocking  on their door.

She could hear soft muffles behind the door before a strong scent of leather and coffee filled her nose, as the only ones who could help her right now.

“Sirius…”

“Lil’s? what- come in…”

He guided her in, taking Harry from her arms- leaning him on his shoulders with uncharacteristic gentleness, saved only for his nephew. “Shh, Bambie… there we go, yeah… shh…” Harry woke up, and soft whine left his small lips.

Remus, who was reading next to the lighted fireplace, jolted up when he saw Lily’s shaking figure at the doorstep.

He quickly got up to her, and she could barely register him leading her to an armchair.

“Lily, what happened? Is someone hurt?” Remus put a grounding hand on her leg, rubbing slow circles, as Sirius kept rocking Harry to sleep, shushing him.

“I-it’s James, he’s not-- ugh, fuck-” she pinched the bridge of her nose to stop the tears that were threatening to fall now- “he’s doing bad, really bad- I cam’t even get him out of bed.”

Sirius immediately turned to them, his voice low and calculated.

“...What?”

“Sirius, I can’t- please, I need you too to watch Harry for a few day’s, I can’t- I can’t take care of them both. H-he won’t leave our bed, won’t eat, he won't… He won’t even look  at me.”

Remus gave her leg a small squeeze to ground her, but Sirius was already on the move- he could see the concern firing his eyes. He handed Harry to Remus, both silently agreeing what to do. Sirius knelt beside her.

“Listen to me, Lily. I need you to calm her down, okay? I’ll go over there right now. You and Harry are staying here together.”

Her eyes snapped to him, her body going rigid. She can’t let James think she’d given up on him- that she’s gonna leave him drowning in his own filth.

“No- no, I came here to ask you two to watch over Harry for a few days- ”

“Lily.” he cutted her off- his voice wasn’t cold but had a sharp edge to it. “He needs more help then you're capable of giving him. Let us help you.”

her soul trembled with his words, but she mumbled the smallest “okay…”.

Sirius gave her a tight hug, whispered “It'll be okay. Lil’s.”, grabbed his coat and left her with Remus.

Her throat bobbed, her breath hitched- but she was no longer carrying the weight of the beast that consumed her husband, leaving him a hollow shell and her a lifeguard in what she could only describe as an acidic ocean, with no swimming capabilities.

The quiet was deafening in her ears, and her eyes shimmered with unshed tears- she hadn’t let them fall for days now. there was no time for nonsense with taking care of everything, and she had a sickening feeling that this was a mistake- “through sickness and health”, she vowed. 

She was failing as a wife.

Remus, who so far sat next to her, slowly understood the fragility of the situation- black bags hovered under her eyes, her clothes were loose on her, and it was more then obvious she hadn’t showered in days.

He kissed her forehead lovingly, a gesture they both understood as a quiet promise that everything is going to be alright. 

But she could barely focus on anything. All she could think about was James rotting in bed- and Harry. Harry, who she just now realised wasn’t in her arms. 

“Give- give him to me, please…”

Remus nodded and carefully placed Harry in her arms.

“I’ll go make us some tea.” she’d let out a small humm which he took as recognition, so he got up to the kitchen, putting soft music in the background to take some gravity from the silence.

She looked down at Harry- sleeping, oblivious to the chaos around him.

“He won’t remember any of that… right?”

Remus just came back with two cups of tea, and sat next to her again.

“Not a chance, Lil’s.”

A small smile tugged in Lily’s lips, taking the tea from his hands while nodding “thank you”. 

They both set quietly, the fire cracking in the background. The silence wasn’t awkward- it was a much-needed break.

“So… how've you been?” The answer was clear to him, but it was obvious she had to talk about everything. He doesn’t pressure her, just waiting patiently.

She smiled wearily at her baby, and then looked at him with tearful eyes that pierced right through him.

“I… I can’t do it anymore.” her breath hitched. “I tried everything, Rem- gentle love, feed him, I yelled, I-- fuck, I screamed at him- he can’t even fucking look at me!!”

Her breath grew fast, her hands trembled. Remus took the tea from her hands

“Breathe, Lily-”  but she was spiraling now.

“He doesn’t eat, he won’t h-hold me in bed, I’m-- I’m so scared, Rem.”

Harry’s soft cries struck her out of her mumbling, bringing her back to the cruel reality. her eyes opened in horror and she sucked in a sharp breath.

“No… nono, shh.. please hush, sweetie-” her breath grew frantic- she wasn’t only letting down her husband, but her son too. She got up from the chair to try to rock Harry back to sleep, but blackspots filled her eyesight and dizziness hitted her like a wrecking ball.

Remus caught her arm to hold her up just in time as her legs buckled and she stumbled backwards.

He set her on the armchair, supporting Harry so she won’t let go.

“Look at me.”

She managed a small glimpse at him while desperately trying to shush Harry back to sleep- not an easy task while she’s also whimpering herself.

With a bit of effort he managed to maneuver Harry out of her hands.

“Give him- yes, hi Bambie… hey, shhh…” Remus held him on his shoulder, the other hand on Lily.

“I’m going to put him down, alright? Stay here. I’ll be back in a moment, dear. you’re safe. Both of you.”

She held out her arms to them when Remus left with her baby to the bedroom, where he and Sirius added recently a cradle next to the guest bed- Harry was an addition to all of their life, there’s no doubt.

After a few minutes of gently patting his back and rocling, he got Harry to sleep in the cradle, hardly ignoring the few times he heard him cry to his dad.

Back in the living room, Lily was doing a bit better. her breathing pretty much evened out, but silent tears were still streaming down her face. She looked detached, staring at the carpet and hugging herself.

He kneels down next to her, putting an encoring hand on her shoulder.

“It’s okay, Lil’s. He's okay. breathe.”

But the moment she felt his hand on her shoulder, the moment she came back from the momentary break- breathing was the last thing she could do.

She wanted to breathe, but all she felt was the cruel grip of reality, its sharp nais tightening around her throat, clogging it from any bit of air.

Everything was crumbling, slipping from her fingers.

She grabbed her chest tightly, as if she could hold her lungs in place, begging them to work.

Remus got up to the kitchen and came back with a glass of water, putting it on the coffee table, and got again on his knees next to her.

“Look at me. look around. you’re okay, right?”

“no, I-- I gotta be there, I need to help him--”

Her words came out trembling, the same words that played on repeat in her mind; like they were sewn on her lips with thread she pulled from her heart.

Then she felt Remus’s hand again.

“No.”

She looked at him, slightly confused. “W-what..?”

“Right now, all you gotta do is to look around, see where you are, and breathe. James is with Sirius. Harry is asleep. they are both protected- and you’re too.”

her shoulders slumped, her breathing slowing a bit, now turning into broken sobs.

Her hand searched in the air for him, and when she found it, her grip tightened, holding it for dear life.

“You’re doing great, love. you just need to breathe.”

He got up from the floor and scooched next to her on the armchair, wrapping a blanket around her shoulder, leaning her head on his chest.

“I-- I’m so tired, Rem…” her voice was muffled underneath the blanket, raw with tears, her grip on him tightening.

In the matter of fact, the strength she was holding him, was disturbing in oppose to how weak she was, what made Remus wonder for how many nights she lied next to James, longing for his warm hugs, only to shiver from the coldness of his alianting towards her, towards himself.

A few minutes later, of her crying into Remus’s chest under the blanket, he reaches out to the glass of water on the table and hands it to her. She managed a few sips, her sobs turning to soft sniffs.

“I don’t know what to do…”

“We’ll figure it out together. I promise.”

She huffed. “I’m failing him…” she stopped to whip her eyes, “...Both of them.”

That moment, Remus pulled away just enough for her to meet his eyes, that were now serious and focused.

“Listen to me, Lily. You are the best mom Harry could’ve asked for. And James' current state  is anything but being your fault- He is not your fault. And you got him the help he needed.”

Lily laughed softly, wiping her eyes- “Sirius must’ve dragged his ass out of bed.”

“Yeah, he must have…” And they both just laughed for a bit.

After a few moments, she spoke again, a bit less shaky now.

“Ugh, what do I do now…”

“Go take a shower, alright? I’ll make us some food, and then you’ll go to sleep for the next 20 hours. Sounds good? ”

She laughed quietly

“Thank you, Rem.”

As soon as she left the shower, the thick smell of vegetables filled her nose.

She was still in her towel, only now realising she hadn't packed any clothes for herself.

“Fuck… uh, Rem? you maybe got any gumpers i could borrow? and a pair of trousers?”

His soft voice was heard from the kitchen- “Already on the guestroom bed, love. Be quiet there, Harry’s asleep.”

She got dressed, and instantly felt better- she only now had to face how long she hadn’t changed clothes, and a small wave of nausea washed over her. 

But the nausea in her stomach quickly changed to hunger, so she left to the kitchen, sending one last glance to sleeping Harry- the only reason they’re here. 

At the kitchen, Remus was sitting at the dining table with two bowls of vegetable soup, nodding to her to take the seat next to him.

“God, Rem… you’re a life saviour.”

He laughed. “you patched me up all through school years, this is the repay.”

She looked down at the soup, her heart felt warm.

On paper, there was nothing special about it- just a simple soup.

But for them, a simple soup was something rare to find in the wizarding world, where everything was made perfectly with magic- and as muggle-borns, a simple magic-free soup was both nostalgic and comforting.

Thankfully, Remus didn’t start a conversation, and they both just ate in silence. Her mind wandered to her husband- who’s to say what his day looked like- for all she knows… in fact, she couldn’t even imagine it.

At some point, she blindly got led to the bedroom- perhaps by Remus, or she was so exhausted her body was on auto-pilot mode.

A smile- a true one- tugged at her lips as she got undercovers, with blankets pressing down on her right at the right amount.

The last thing she heard was her sweet Harry's soft breathing, that lolled her to deep, much-needed, overdo sleep.

And she couldn’t have possibly guessed that… but at that time at their place, James was in a completely different state.

[tobiasdrake]

Digimon Adventure 01x16 - Dark Evolution! SkullGreymon / The Arrival of SkullGreymon

Previously on Digimon Adventure: The wicked servants of Elvis gave our kids food and baths. Fleeing into a nearby cave, Taichi found the Warp Whistle and got them out of there before they could be exposed to Elvis's music any longer.

Now we join them an ambiguous length of time later, in a place that is certainly not the forested mountains we left them in.

We're back in the desert. Why are we back in the desert? Why did we go back there? IDK but Mimi's is bothered as I am.

Mimi: Ugh, how much farther do we have to talk? Jou: Until we find a place where Etemon can't reach us. Mimi: Does a place like that even exist!?!? Yamato: I hope so. We have nowhere to run if Etemon attacks us right now. Sora: This is bad. Everyone's starting to get depressed.

Wandering through the vast deserts of Server under threat that Etemon could appear at any moment naturally has a negative impact on the group's mental health. Sora's concerned for them. But Taichi's annoyed.

Taichi: What's going on here!? Get a hold of yourselves! We have a Crest with us now! Yamato: Sure, but can they really evolve with just the Crest? Taichi: Of course. Right, Agumon? Agumon: Mmm-- Taichi: Be more assertive! You're the only one right now who can evolve to the next level! You have to stand for all of us on the battlefield! Tentomon: We're counting on you! Taichi: By the way, how do we reach the next evolution? Koushiro: Well, from what we know about evolution, they need a lot of energy to evolve. They couldn't do it when they were hungry. Also, it happens when their partner is in danger. Taichi: I see.... So, about, that energy thing: To evolve to a higher level, I guess you'd need more energy than ever, right?

Taichi ties off that question with a wink at Agumon, who flinches from Taichi's exuberance. He's plotting.

As he brought up at the end of the last episode (but not in the dub), In stark contrast to the rest of the group, who are still in survival mode, Taichi feels invincible now that he has this Crest. He's confident that he has the key to Etemon's demise right there around his neck. He just needs to figure out how it works.

Over in the dub, Tai's going even harder.

Tai: Hey, come on, you guys! Why'd we stop? Why's everyone so scared? After all, we do have the Crest, you know! Matt: That's true! But do we really know the Crest will help Agumon to Digivolve? Tai: Of course! Right, Agumon? Agumon: Hmm? Tai: Listen, buddy: This is your big chance! Don't let me down! You're the only one that can Digivolve further so either you try to get to the next level and save us from Etemon or I'll go and get myself a new Digimon! Tentomon: Not much of a choice! Tai: ARGH! By the way, how are we supposed to use the Crest to Digivolve again? Izzy: Well, from what we've seen so far with the other Digivolutions, it takes a lot of energy. For example, they can't Digivolve if they're hungry. In addition, the Partner of the Digimon must be in some sort of danger. You know, like being under attack or something. Tai: But since it's a higher level of Digivolving, my theory is even more energy is needed. So we'll provide the food; Etemon will provide the danger!

Love that closing line, "We'll provide the food; Etemon will provide the danger!" That's a great way to set up the bad decision-making that's about to take place.

The biggest difference between the two versions is that Tai threatens to fire Agumon in this one. Holy shit! He's being a twat either way but that's brutal.

We cut briefly to Etemon's trailer being carted through the desert. He's rambling.

Etemon: You kids just wait! When I find you, I'll knock you flat and stuff you like turkeys!

Over in the dub, he says:

Etemon: You better watch out, you DigiDestined kids! I'll find you and, when I do, you'll wish you never crossed Etemon! I'll get ya!

This may seem like a lateral move, but the "stuff you like turkeys" line is setup for a gag. We cut immediately from that line to:

The dub destroys this joke, not only changing Etemon's line but introducing a commercial break between Etemon's setup and Agumon's payoff.

Over here at a small oasis, Taichi is force-feeding Agumon as much as possible.

Agumon: I can't eat anymore! Taichi: When I say eat, you eat! No complaining! Agumon: But-- Taichi: Listen! Everyone gave you their share of food because they're looking forward to your evolution! Right, guys? Yamato: Sure. Mimi: Gave it to him? More like he took it from us. Gabumon: But we can't evolve to a higher level. Jou: (bitterly) So it's "Whoever doesn't work doesn't eat"? Tentomon: Oh no.... Taichi: Eh? What was that? I can't hear you! Isn't that right, guys? Group: (unenthusiastically) Uh-huh! Taichi: See? That's why you and I have to work hard together! We have to protect everyone!

Taichi is now preventing the rest of the group from eating so that he can force-feed Agumon far beyond his limits. Based entirely on his own speculation that Agumon will need a supreme amount of energy for a Perfect-stage evolution.

Palmon: I guess that means we're dragging everyone down. Piyomon: Even so, I feel sorry for Agumon. Sora: Yeah. Agumon looks like he's being forced into a corner. Koushiro: During club activities, Taichi-san was always nice to us younger members. Sora: Now that you mention it, back in soccer club....

While the first part of this scene is played totally straight in the dub, this bit's a little different.

Palmon: I guess there's not much else we can do to help. Biyomon: I don't know if Agumon can take much more! Sora: Yeah, Tai is really pushing him. Agumon's stuffed like a Thanksgiving turkey. Izzy: Tai's personality has taken a turn for the worse lately. I remember him being friendlier even to us younger kids. Sora: Actually, now that you mention it, he was cool during soccer camp.

"Soccer camp" is an interesting choice here. Extracurricular "soccer club" isn't really a thing in the U.S. but schools do have sports teams. Not usually for elementary schools, though. Sora and Taichi are in fifth grade. In order to play soccer together, they'd have to be part of a recreational youth program like at the YMCA or, as noted, a soccer camp.

Meanwhile, Koushiro's reference to sharing "club activities" with Taichi, though the sentiment of his line remains. I guess they couldn't imagine why Izzy would play soccer.

From here, Sora flashes back on a school soccer game. Taichi's playing in the front of his team as a striker, a position notorious for arrogant and selfish play, and he has the ball. Sora is the other striker, running down the field parallel to Taichi.

We see the gears turn in Taichi's head.

Sora: Taichi, pass! Taichi: This is my chance to shoot! Here I go!

But then another player slides in front of him on an intercept course. Without missing a beat, Taichi passes the ball sideways a moment before the slide trips him up. Sora receives his pass, striking the ball with a headbutt and sending it sailing into goal.

Helping Taichi to his feet, Sora appreciates his sportsmanship.

Sora: Nice pass! I thought you'd try to take the shot yourself. Taichi: I'd never do something that crazy! Ahahahaha!

Back in the present, Sora reflects:

Sora: Taichi seems like the type to rush off on his own, but he's always taken his surroundings into consideration. Koushiro: Right. Sora: But now.... Taichi: We're the only ones who can do this! So keep going! Eat up! Agumon: No more! Sora: Ever since Taichi got that Crest, he's become a completely different person.

Again, the dub here is a bit altered.

Sora: Tai might look like he's trying to run things all by himself, but whatever crazy action he takes, he does it for the good of the team. Izzy: Mmhmm. Sora: But now all this.... Tai: We're the only ones who can help now! So you've gotta keep eating, okay, Agumon!? Agumon: I can't! Sora: Tai's personality seems to have changed ever since he got a hold of that Crest of Courage.

Sora's point is about Taichi typically having situational awareness to temper his enthusiasm. He was going to take the shot himself, but when he realized he was about to be intercepted, he quickly switched gears and passed the ball rather than stubbornly forging ahead.

"Tai makes ridiculous choices but always for good reasons!" is a bizarre takeaway for her to have from that anecdote.

Also, she name-drops Crest of Courage before any of the kids know that the Crests mean things. That's a straight-up continuity error right there.

Suddenly, the conversation's broken up a ringing pulse shining inside Jou's shirt.

Jou: I'm starving... Hmm? What the...? (Jou pulls his Tag out of his shirt and sees it pulsing blue) Jou: (standing up suddenly) Hey, look! My Tag! Yamato: It's reacting to something. Koushiro: Your Crest must be nearby! Taichi: Really!?

Taichi whips out his mini-telescope, scanning the nearby surroundings until he spots a set of ruins in the distance. Ecstatic, Jou races down the dune they're resting on, tripping over something buried in the sand.

Gomamon: What's a cable doing here?

His question doesn't get answered, but we know these cables. Far off, Etemon orders the Monochromon dragging his trailer to halt.

Etemon: STOP!!! Gazimon: What's wrong, Etemon-sama? Etemon: Ehehehehehe!!! Something's stuck in my network! L-7 Area... Let's see... Where was that? L over, 7 down, and... There it is! Gazimon: Where is it? Etemon: YIIIIIII!!! It's near the Coliseum! Remember? The place I hold my yearly concert! (angrily) They fled to such a place.... Gazimon: Geh. It's pretty far. Etemon: Yep. However, I have an interesting show set up there. Ahaha!

In the dub:

Etemon: WHOA!!! Gazimon: What is it, Lord Etemon? Etemon: Ahaha! Something's caught in my network, uh-huh-huh! The intruder's in the L-7 sector. Let's see, L-7, L-7... How's this thing work? Oh, here it is! Gazimon: Where is it? Etemon: Hahaha, it's near the Coliseum! That's where I hold my annual Tribute to Me show; I wonder what they're doing all the way over there? You got any idea? Gazimon: Well, maybe they want to get good seats, boss. Etemon: Oh, they'll have a perfect view for the surprise show I planted for 'em! Hahahaha!

Small change: Etemon seems miffed that the kids are at the Coliseum in the original. It's a subtle moment, but it almost seems like he's offended that they're hiding out in a place that has sentimental value to him personally.

"Maybe they want to get good seats" is a great quip. We lose Gazimon expositing that it's far off, but Etemon covered that with "all the way over there" so the information is still conveyed.

The big shift here is the "show" waiting for the kids. Etemon in the original suggests that what's about to happen is part of his annual concert setup. He's repurposing resources already in place for another reason. Dub Etemon seems to have set this all up as a trap on purpose? Though given the events to follow, that's still a believable interpretation.

Etemon calls another Gazimon over in L-7 to arrange his plan.

Gazimon: Yeah? This is the L-7 area. Etemon: It's me. Gazimon: (leaps to his feet) Y-Yes!? Etemon: Some guests will be arriving soon. Prepare a welcome party. Gazimon: W-Welcome party!? You don't mean that thing? Etemon: I mean that thing. Gazimon: U-UNDERSTOOD!!!

This Gazimon races off into the Coliseum to prepare for the children's arrival.

Inside, the Coliseum is a bit different from what one might expect of ancient Roman architecture.

Koushiro: It looks like the Roman Coliseum! Tentomon: What is that? Taichi: An ancient stadium. Mimi: Look! A widescreen TV! Sora: And a goal post! This is a soccer field! Taichi: Well, let's split up and look for the Crest!

Neat. You know those ancient Romans and their love for giant stadium monitors and soccer.

We've been in Digimon World/Digital World for so long that no one even cares about out-of-place modern shit anymore. That's just life.

Unfortunately, all that overfeeding is taking a toll on Agumon, who falls to the ground abruptly.

Agumon: I can't move... Let me sleep.... Taichi: What's wrong with you!? Get up! Agumon: Sorry.... Jou: Let him rest. The only clue we have is this Tag. Gomamon and I will go look, so the rest of you take a break. Taichi: I'll go with you!

Jou-senpai stepping up to be the responsible one again, but as usual, Taichi can't be still for five seconds.

While Taichi and Jou race off to search for Jou's Crest, something interesting rolls out onto the soccer field.

Sora: (excited gasp) Soccer ball! Hey, want to play soccer!? Takeru: That sounds like fun! Yamato: Let's make it Human Team vs. Digimon Team. Tentomon: What's soccer? Sora: It's where you use your legs to kick this ball into a goal. You can also use your head or chest.

She demonstrates by popping the ball up and passing it with her head to Gabumon. He delivers a powerful kick, sending it up in an arc. Piyomon tries to catch it with her wings, but the ball hits her in the face and knocks her flat. It then bounces into Palmon's hands behind her.

Sora: You can't use your hands. Palmon: Don't you think that's really unfair to me? Takeru: The goalkeeper can use their hands, right? Yamato: Yeah. You'd be perfect for goalkeeper, Palmon.

In the dub, Palmon's objection is removed. After Biyomon gets clonked, Palmon's line and Sora's are switched.

Palmon: Oh! That's really using your head! Sora: Oh, and I forgot to tell you: You can't use your hands. T.K.: Unless you're the goalkeeper; Then you can touch the ball with your hands! Matt: Yeah! You should be the goalie for your team, Palmon!

It's a minor difference, but the bit doesn't flow quite as well without the point being raised that Palmon, more than anyone here, is a very grabby Digimon. She has a much higher hands-to-other-stuff ratio than the rest of the group.

With Palmon's role sorted out, she gives the ball a toss to put it back in play. Suddenly, noticing the others having fun, Tai races in and gives the ball a heavy kick, sending it hurtling to the upper audience stands.

By comical coincidence, he scores a direct hit on Gazimon way up there. Even when he's being a shit, Taichi has amazing soccer instincts. The shot sends Gazimon tumbling down the stairs into the Coliseum's inner chambers.

Taichi: How the hell can you guys be playing soccer at a time like this!?!? Stop and think about what we're dealing with! We're leaving as soon as Jou finds his Crest!

(This is Taichi's "How you season your eggs is causing the decline of Japanese culture" moment. Like Jou way back when, Taichi is cracking under the pressure of being at war with an invulnerable foe.)

Before anyone can say anything to Taichi, the stadium's filled with sports music and the screen turns on.

Etemon: WAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I am the greatest!

Screaming in terror, the kids flee for their lives, inexplicably choosing to take cover inside a soccer net. (Why?) This bizarre choice proves to be part of the trap; The net closes around them, sealing them in. Everyone but Agumon; He tripped and didn't make it to the net because his belly's still too full to move.

Etemon: GOOOOOOOOOAL!!! Now I've got you! Taichi: It was a trap! Tentomon: You think you can keep us in here with just this!?

Tentomon tries to break through the net, but it's electrified. It gives him a discouraging shock the moment he touches it.

Etemon: You're going to injure yourself if you do that. The net's wires are electrified! I've love to be there and do this face-to-face but unfortunately I'm too far away for that. Stars have busy schedules, y'know. But don't worry! A special guest is going to take my place! Who do you think it will be? Taichi: Who cares!? Etemon: I bet he's going to surprise you! YEAH YEAH YEAH!!!

Etemon's guest star arrives: A Greymon with a black "collar" made up of what seems to be a Dark Network cable wrapped around their neck. They stomp into the Coliseum, wrecking everything in their path.

Taichi: G-Greymon!? Etemon: See? You're so surprised! I'm such a fabulous show producer. Now, let's get started! (English) IT'S SHOWTIME!!!

In the dub, we get:

Tai: It's a different Greymon! Etemon: See? I knew you'd be surprised! I'm so evil! ~Let's get started / It's time to go / Okay! / Here's the show!

That might be the funniest change in the series. I wonder which show producer objected to having Etemon proclaim, "I'm such a fabulous show producer"? XD

Agumon evolves to fight the other Greymon. As they're fighting, Takeru drops this banger.

Gabumon: You can do this, Greymon! Takeru: Don't lose to a fake!

Those are some bold words when that one over there is a natural Greymon and our guy can only hit that stage temporarily thanks to Digivice magic.

Sadly, natural Greymon proves to be superior in brawling with a temp. They land a horn bash to our Greymon's chin, sending him backwards into the electrified net.

Conceding that our Greymon can't beat Etemon's, Taichi sees only one avenue left.

Taichi: Evolve, Greymon! Koushiro: He can't keep this up. Tentomon: He can't win if he doesn't evolve!

Greymon gets back up and keeps fighting, but the other Greymon tosses him to the ground and stomps on his head. Taichi screams at him to evolve.

Taichi: Evolve! Evolve, Greymon! Koushiro: It's useless, Taichi-san. Your Crest isn't reacting at all. Yamato: Evolution is impossible. Taichi: I don't accept that. Greymon, I know you can do it! Believe in your ability to evolve!

Greymon does not evolve. He bashes the other Greymon off with a tail whip, then attempts to fire off a Mega Flame.

However, all that comes out is a belch. This is what tips off the group as to why he's having so much trouble.

Mimi: How can you burp at a time like this? Yamato: Do his movements look slower than usual? Koushiro: I get it. His body is heavy from overeating! Tentomon: You're right!

Tentomon's so excited by this revelation, he takes to the air and electrocutes himself on the net again. Smooth.

Meanwhile, Gazimon takes another call from Etemon.

Etemon: Don't just stand around! Start the ending celebration! Prepare the fireworks and step on it!

Gazimon takes up a position up on top of a set of three statue heads, raising sparklers for the ceremony.

While our Greymon continues to get worked over, Gomamon desperately calls his Marching Fishes to lend a fin.

Water pours out of the statues' mouths, with Gomamon's fish flying from the water. They mug Gazimon for his sparklers and make their way over to the enemy Greymon, baiting them away from our Greymon.

Meanwhile, the kids discuss the massive WTF of this occurrence.

Jou: How were fishes able to come out of there!? Gomamon: Don't look at me. I don't understand complex stuff. Koushiro: There's probably a rift to another dimension over there. Gomamon: What he said. Jou: I see....

It's as good an explanation as any.

The dub dialogue is similar, but Izzy's more condescending about it.

Joe: Where did those fish come from!? How could they just come out of there like that!? Gomamon: I dunno, but if it's not broken, don't fix it! Izzy: It's really elementary, Joe. There's probably just a dimensional vortex rift in the water. Gomamon: Ditto! Joe: Oh.

Imagine not knowing about aquatic dimensional vortex rifts. That's baby stuff. You're kinda dim, Joe.

Once the conversation's finished, the Marching Fishes drop their sparklers at Greymon's feet and then fly off into the sky, visibly fading out of existence. (I guess they Dimensional Vortex Rifted away.)

Koushiro comes up with the idea of tunneling to safety. The kids peel back the tiles to find another black cable, but also a large stone bearing a symbol like the one that formed Taichi's Crest. The stone begins to pulse, as does Jou's Tag.

Assuming it works the same, Jou rests his Tag on the stone.

Crest received!

Just in time for the ground beneath them, no longer braced by the Crest stone, to give way and dump the kids. into a deep hole. But it's a deep hole with an exit, so they're free. We briefly cut to Etemon furiously watching them make their escape.

Etemon: Those damn children! Not only did they escape, but they have another Crest! UNFORGIVABLE!!!

It's here that Taichi makes terrible choices.

Taichi: He'd win if he evolved. If he could only evolve! GREYMON!!! Sora: Stop! Taichi: Don't stop me! This is my chance to get Greymon to evolve! Please just stay out of the way! Sora: But your Crest isn't reacting at all! It's impossible for him to evolve! Taichi: He will evolve. No, I'll make him!

Taichi hops down into the stadium and races out onto the field, towards where the two Greymon are fighting.

(This is where Sora's anecdote from earlier comes into play. Taichi isn't being situationally aware. He's not paying attention to the factors on the field; Specifically, his Crest. He's stubbornly, arrogantly trying to take the shot himself and not paying attention to the very real fact that his angle is too well-guarded.)

Yamato: What is he trying to do!? Koushiro: The other condition needed for evolution is for the Partner to be in danger. Sora: Taichi-san wouldn't....

He would. He does.

Etemon calls for a Mega Flame to finish Taichi's Greymon, but Taichi interrupts the shot by pelting Etemon's Greymon with a rock expertly flung straight into their eye.

Taichi: STOP!!! I'm not scared of you! Come and get me! Etemon: Trying to act tough, are we? Very well. We'll deal with you first, just like you wanted!

Sora and Yamato send Birdramon and Garurumon in there to keep Taichi from getting himself stupidly killed. But Taichi keeps screaming at Greymon to evolve until finally, his Crest reacts. In an eerie way.

An unpleasant green light emanates from Taichi's Digivice, unlike the typical white of evolution. And his Crest turns black as pitch before it releases its energy. Greymon ankoku shinka.

The evolution for ankoku shinka or "Dark Evolution" is completely unlike the typical evolution. The transformation sequence is corrupted with unpleasant colors and a dark cloud appearing in the sky. Black energy with orange spirals pour into Greymon, causing him to take this new shape without the usual spinny stock footage and cry of "SHINKAAAAAAA!!!"

Even Tai seems to realize he's screwed up here, as his initial excitement quickly fades into an expression of horror.

Sora: T-That's.... Yamato: What's going on here? Tentomon: It can't be. That's SkullGreymon! Sora: SkullGreymon!?

The narrator chimes in here to give the rundown. SkullGreymon is a Perfect-stage Virus-type Skeleton Digimon.

Narrator: SkullGreymon. His menacing appearance reduces many Digimon to a quaking heap. Naturally, he has immense destructive power. He is a Perfect-stage Digimon who attacks persistently in battle.

Here, the dub has everything it needs for a seamless diegetic rundown. Tentomon is present on-hand, recognizes this Digimon, and has people to talk to when delivering the rundown.

Sora: What in the world!? Matt: What do you think that is? Tentomon: Oh my, is that what I think it is? Sora: What do you call that thing!? Tentomon: SkullGreymon. The sight of him makes other Digimon tremble! He is a fully Digivolved Digimon whose explosive power causes him to constantly search for battle!

"Fully". It's cute that you think that, Tentomon. To be fair to him, Perfect was the final stage until Ultimate was added later down the line. But it was already there by the time the anime was made and dubbed.

But yeah, this is basically a perfect diegetic rundown. Good work.

Koushiro's immediately convinced that this is wrong.

Koushiro: Th-This is bad! It looks like something went wrong and he evolved into something unbelievable!

But it's too late now. SkullGreymon begins to act, swatting the enemy Greymon into the air and launching them into Etemon's monitor. Then he fires the missile from his back.

SkullGreymon's signature move Ground Zero flies from his back, slamming into the monitor and exploding. The blast erases both the monitor and the opposing Greymon.

(RIP Other Greymon. Etemon said they were part of his annual show so I sure hope that means they were like a bandmate of his and not some sort of gladiator slave or something. Because they're stone dead now.)

Taichi, meanwhile, stares up at his "Partner" in disbelief.

Taichi: SkullGreymon! Did you really evolve from Greymon!?

In the dub, Tai more bluntly yells:

Tai: Listen to me, SkullGreymon! If you're really the Digivolved form of Greymon then you can't hurt me!

SkullGreymon responds by trying to smash him, provoking Garurumon and Birdramon to leap to his defense. Tentomon evolves as well to join the defense.

Three Adult-stage Digimon against a battle-hungry Perfect. While their battle tears up the landscape and shreds the black cables littered around.

Etemon: WAUGH!!! The Network! My network is ruined!

Over in the dub, Etemon hilariously tries to play this for sympathy.

Etemon: Oh no, my poor network! They're destroyin' everything that I worked so hard to create!

XD Sure, my dude. You're the victim here.

Back at the fight, SkullGreymon's as savage as we were promised. Birdramon, Kabuterimon, and Garurumon converge attacks on him, but he doesn't even flinch. Swatting them away as easily as the giant Devimon did before, SkullGreymon flees the Coliseum and races out into the desert beyond.

There, the dark evolution energy from Taichi's mistake finally runs out. He finally regresses, not just to Agumon but all the way down to Koromon.

As the group reaches Koromon, Taichi scoops him up in his arms.

Taichi: Are you okay!? Koromon: Yeah... But it looks like I did something terrible to you guys... I couldn't stop myself! Piyomon: Don't worry about it. Gabumon: That's right. Tentomon: We completely understand. Koromon: I'm sorry I couldn't rise to your expectations. Yamato: No! It's not your fault, it's.... Taichi: I know. It's mine. Yamato: That's not what I meant. Taichi: That's okay. It's true. Isn't it, Sora? Sora: Yes-- I-I mean-- Taichi: I was rushing ahead without even realizing it. Because I had the Crest, I felt like I had to fight the battles on my own. I'm sorry, everyone. (to Koromon) I'm sorry. Narrator: Although the next evolution stage was reached, it proved to be a mistake. Will they ever learn to evolve the right way?

We close on this somber moment, reflecting on Taichi's mistake. Neither forgiveness nor condemnation offered to him. Only a lesson learned and a hope to do better in the future.

The dub plays this all straight, including the narrator's closing dialogue. Of course, per usual, that's done diegetically.

Tai: You were finally able to Digivolve but it was a huge mistake. I wonder if our Digimon will ever be able to Digivolve the right way? One thing's for sure, I learned my lesson.

However what blows my mind in this final scene is that Koromon's voice is wrong. They have Mimi's actress playing Koromon and it's extremely noticeable. A huge departure from the usual performer who's been playing Koromon as recently as one episode ago. I have no idea why that happened.

Assessment: Here, at last, we're introduced to branching evolution paths and very specifically the concept of dark evolution, a rare occurrence in Digimon media but always a big deal when it comes up. Try to avoid putting your Digimon through that, yeah?

The dub for this episode has a couple of flaws in it, but I'd describe it as almost perfect. Like 95% of the dub for this episode was seamless adaptation, with some of the dub particulars like the diegetic rundowns fitting in perfectly. My biggest complaint here is that they messed up Sora's soccer anecdote, but that's small potatoes compared to some of the other episodes out there.

[v-i-r-i-d-i-a-n]

OHHH ITS GOOD TO BE BACK ON MY BULLSHIT

Jrwi riptide, episode 94 “back to zero” quotes and funny moments!

WTF IS THIS INTRO EARL LMAO

I love clicking on jrwi videos and never knowing what I’ll open up too. One of my favorite intros BY FAR

Sleep deprived Gillion is my favorite Gillion

I love Gillion SO MUCH I cannot express it popularly. Him just going around yelling at everyone to help with a book

Chip *reading Gillion’s story to Jay*;And the massive sausages all attacked Gillion and he killed them and it was awesome, he beat everybody, and then they had pancakes”

Gillion;”That’s Book 2 you fucking idiot”

Chip;”that arm cost…three hundred thousand gold…?”

Griffin;”Around there”

Bizly;”We “yes and’ed” our way too fucking deep WE CANT GET OUT”

Gillion;”hey grand peepaw!!”

Finn;”EEEEEEGHHH”

Charlie;”😧”

Gillion;”If you don’t want that I’ll burn it 😄”

“IF YOU GIVE A FISH A FAMILY”??? DO YOU WANT ME TO DIE CHARLIE SLIMECICLE???

Oh the book is a trauma dumping story /j

THIS WNTIRE BOOK SEGMENT IS MAKING ME LAUGH SO HARX HELP ME

“There’s a very violent drawing of Gillion stabbing Jay’s dad in the chest”

I need this book to be real so badly

I’ve decided Goobleck haunts Gillion and is just constantly talking to him with how much they’re cutting between voices the last few episodes

Goobleck;”I LIKE IT!! GOOD!”

Gillion;”whatthefuck 😟”

Chip;”He said “you’re a dumb baby loser, and you’ve let this family down” IM LITERALLY CAKCLING HELP ME

I love this stupid book in this stupid campaign :((

I NEED THIS BOOK

Chip;”Peepaws first words!! :00 half of them were bad words…”

Grizzly;”That was fun!”

Charlie;”That was fun??? You mother fucker”

Ollie;”Oh my god it looks so different!! Oh my god!! I don’t even know where I am-“

Gillion;”I don’t know where I am either…somebody help.”

Chip carrying Gillion to town square my beloved

EARL AND FINNNNN PLAYING CHESSSS

THEY MADE THEM A STATUEEEE THATS SO SWEET

Gillion;”What that word you said?? He’s a child and we ugh…nabbed him”

Chip;”do you- do you just LIKE making things harder for us?”

Chip;”Oh? Héroes…”

Gillion;”Heroes sounds way better than pirates chip, maybe we should rebrand.”

Gillion;”And maybe they’d like some cake…but if that’s too hard, they could settle for something else…like…icecream, or cupcakes.”

Gillion and Chip signing babies LMAO

ISTG. IF GRIZZLY KILLS OLLIES MOM RIGHT WHEN THEY GET HIM BACK IM GONNA KILL HIM

All this art is feeding me sm

OLLIES MOMMM DAMN GIMME A CHANCE PLS

Ollie’s mom being so depressed she falls ill :((

Gillion;”Hey Jay…it’s…starting to feel…like we should’ve brought Ollie home.. right away-“

Jay;”Like faster? Yeah- that was probably the best play.”

Gillion;”Who knew there were moms- and they got so sad.”

Jay;”Yeah…who knew”

JAY AND GILLION MOMLESS MOMENTS🙏🙏

AGHHH WHO TF IS THIS FUCK

Jay;”We can maybe…talk to him, straighten him out.”

Chip;”we can kick his ass, you want us to kick his ass??”

Gillion;”is he evil??? He evil?? Does he have an evil stank on him?? Let me smell him.”

Gillion;”Seems like we’re all sick, sick of this guys BULLSHIT.”

Chip;”I’m with you dude.”

Chip;”I feel like we’ve been on the boat too long we’re like ITCHING to kill this guy”

Gillion;”YEAH YEAH I’LL DO I’LL DO IT!!”

NEW FNC MOMENT JUST DROPPED

Chip;”but not yet but not yet- nooo nooo Gillion baby girl”

Gillion:”Yes- yes babyboy?”

Jay;”WHAT??”

Gillion;”we all have codenames”

Chip;”Yeah and yours is hagfish- right Gillion?”

Gillion;”Righhtt.”

Gillion has a whoopee cushion that makes a human scream sound

Chip;”I mean- I don’t wanna introduce myself as a riptide hero”

Gillion;”I do.”

Gillion;”I am deeply sorry…that we stole your son for four months.”

Jay;”nononononono Gillion you’re not allowed to say any more words.”

Chip;”not even ten words, and you ruined it.”

Ollie;”and at one point- 😭😭 I stretched really long, and I- 😔😔I didn’t wanna come home like that cus I thought you wouldn’t recognize me 😭😭”

Ollies mother;”…w-what??”

Jay;”What are we supposed to do?? Say no to a twelve year old boy??”

Bizly;”sniff sniff SMELLS LIKE GANG SHIT”

OMG MARSHALL JOHNS DIARY

John;”Dear Diary, my heart wilts like a rose.”

Jay;”We burn it we burn it.”

John;”Dear Diary, why?”

John;”Dear Diary, these weights on my shoulders I lift, surprising…why am I not dummy thicc?”

CALLBACK TO EPISODE ONE CALLBACK TO EPISODE ONE EHHEHEBE I LOVE TJESE STUPID PIRATES

Gillion;”I am…as they say, hubid”

Chip;”…hubid?”

[theromanticrationalist]

Young Sheldon Series Finale: 7x14 Memoir

THE SHAMY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 😍😍😍🥰🥰🥰

Okay, so I have a lot of mixed feelings about this episode. I do not think it was very elegant in its execution, firstly, and secondly WE SERIOUSLY NEEDED MORE SHAMY LIKE WHAT THE HELL YOU GUYS IS THIS ALL WE ARE GOING TO GET OF SHAMY FOR LIFE??? Ugh! I was hyping myself up so so much about seeing married old couple Shamy, and don't get me wrong, it was amazing, but also in other ways disappointing. It seemed very limited in its emotional scope, and while I loved that it was brought home regarding Sheldon's relationship with his own son, it didn't quite reach the emotional heights they were going for, or at least what they could have gone for.

LIKE WHY COULDN'T WE HAVE SEEN SHELDON ACTUALLY INTERACT WITH HIS CHILDREN YOU GUYS WE WERE ROBBED 😩😩😩

AND SHELDON HAS A BABY GIRL AND WE DIDN'T EVEN GET TO SEE GIRL DAD SHELDON OR EVEN KNOW HER NAME I AM DEVESTATED

I know there was a limited time to the episode with them having to conclude all the storylines and everything, but they could have made this last episode an hour, would it have really killed them? It was like we were given a peep-sized hole view into Shamy's family life, and that was it! I wanted THE WHOLE PICTURE, I wanted to see it sprawling and majestic in all its beauty!!! UUUUUUUUUUUUGH!

Although, when Amy stepped towards Sheldon threateningly to get his cute ass into the shower and get ready for their son's game, I about lost it! OMG. Momma Amy don't play! And Sheldon cowered/flinched like he just KNEW to his bones that he crossed the line and lost the battle! (The blood was draining from the boy's face big time!! 😂😂😂) That was kind of hot not gonna lie... 🥵 *fans self* *swoons* *faints* But why did Amy get rid of all his nerdy shirts?? 😭 LET THE BOY LIVE HIS LIFE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! But we did get to see him in his cute cuddly robe most of the episode and then sporting his hot Dad-polo shirt! So that was something! 😍

Another aspect that I didn't like about this episode is how they handled the situation with Mary Cooper. I believe it is very truthful, unfortunately so, that those who are "adults" in our lives fail us at the times we need them the most, but I don't like how the episode tried to frame it in a good light. The fact that Mary Cooper essentially emotionally abandoned her children and was forcing them to get baptisms (spiritually abusive) was pretty messed up! The way that MeeMaw placed the burden of responsibility on Missy and Sheldon (children who the adults should be supporting during what is quite literally the worst time of their lives!!!) was also super messed up too! Yet none of this is called out for what it is, but instead the writers try to turn it into a special, warm fuzzy moment between mother and son! Nah, I'm not buying it. Especially since the relationship between Mary Cooper and Sheldon is so special to me. I really don't know what else they could done, but I don't believe they should have done any of that. It was a really weird and awkward note to end the series on, even if it was hilarious how Sheldon showed up to his baptism in his whole scuba outfit! (Made even more hilarious by the fact that we learn that despite all of that, he still got an ear infection! Oh son...)

Oh well. I guess it is what it is! I am still just trying to process it all. I will probably be watching the Shamy moments on repeat forever! And I guess go back to my headcanons...

Oh, final note: I was seriously thinking for a moment there that Sheldon Prime and young Sheldon were going to meet! I think that would have been kind of cool actually if we got Sheldon talking/interacting with Sheldon (particularly for the Iain and Jim interaction!), but maybe it would have been a bit too on the nose. Although, that is Sheldon's MO. Still, I really, really loved that final moment when Sheldon Prime walks through his house in his memory and then turns around and it flashes back to his younger self speaking to Missy. I actually think that "last" moment between Sheldon and Missy is achingly beautiful as he tells her that he has no choice but to remember her, and she just laughs at him smugly. *lays down cries cries a lot*

[bronx-bomber87]

Hello my wonderful fandom family :) We're finally back to new eps. I wasn't ready for this episode in the least. Idk I was ever gonna be ready tbh. If this isn’t the most apt ep name ever following the last ep. Bare with me as I once again sort through my thoughts and such. I'm really struggling with the 'mini' portion of these reviews the last few eps.

Ain't nothing mini about my emotions haha But I am sure come summer they'll be more refined for sure. Also thank you to anyone who reads these thoughts and enjoys them. It's still a trip to me people appreciate my thoughts. I just want to be a ray of sunshine and positivity with these.

A source of comfort while we all go through this together. Cause that's the beauty of fandom. Going through it together. Once again wanna preface there will be ZERO tolerance for bashing of any kind. They are both going through it right now. We all love these characters so much its why we're on here. I love conversation and comments but not spreading hate. With that in mind let's start eh?

6x07 Crushed

Tamara moving out still..... Ugh. I’m so sad about this. Truly the end of an era right here everyone. Also Lucy not wearing her necklace gut punch already to my feels...Poor Lucy wants her to stay but would never ask Tamara to do that. I wanna cry already for Lucy....I hate her necklace being missing and it's very obvious it's missing. *sad sigh*

I do love Lucy taking Tamara out to fancy dinner least. Channeling her emotions into something positive. Wanting to love on her before she goes. Tamara mentioning Tim getting kicked out of Metro…She isn’t wrong it is down hill after the pinnacle of Lucy indeed. Trying to give her a compliment but Lucy isn't taking it that way. I wanna cry for a second time. She looks so distressed. *sigh* Two massive pillars in her life are now gone and it's felt in this brief moment.

Tim in his old Metro office disassembling it. My heart. You all know how much I loved him In Metro. Killing me. Also just shows how much of a nose dive he took after this Ray debacle. Grey seeing this and sighing before going in after him. Tim seems like he’s in robot mode when Wade enters. Saying all the things he thinks Grey wants to hear since he’s back. No real emotion behind it. Just the grunt mentality he thinks he should have.

Gonna be more than just his trust you’re gonna need to earn back my love….Love Wade having him to ride along with Dr. London. Anyone needs it our boy does right now. Of course Tim bites back on this idea why wouldn’t he? Wouldn’t be Tim if he didn’t. Tim saying breaking up with Lucy has nothing to do with the Ray situation. Uh... it has everything to do with that my love EVERYTHING.

Grey standing his ground saying if he wants to regain his trust this is where it starts. I love him saying breaking up with Lucy and being bounced back to patrol due to being reckless makes him question his judgement. As it should…You forget Timothy this man watched you grow with Lucy for years. Saw how much she made you grew and joy she brought out in you. Of course he is questioning your actions. He just watched you throw away the best thing ever that's ever happened to you. Your judgement is being judged severely....

I adore Wade Grey. He's not only putting Tim in his place and saying he could mandate therapy (which he would be justified in doing...) Or take the ride along. Then saying he’s taking Lucy out too. Just so he knows he is looking out for them both in this moment. The man knows what he is doing.

I can’t believe Smitty doing breakup odds. I’m incensed by this tbh. Also I want punch the dude who said Tim would’ve cheated. He would NEVER. How very dare you. I hate that list. It makes me wanna rage out so hard. If any of them knew them at all they’d know it would never be something like that. Also her and Aaron? Ewww no no no.... Lucy had every right to ream Smitty out more than she did. So inappropriate it's insane. For shame sir truly.

I'm glad she shut it down. Last thing they need is the station gossiping about them like this. They're going to anyways but Ugh I hate this whole thing. I feel sick. Of course she runs into Tim right after.... Worst timing ever. Breaks my heart because he still is excited to see her but she isn't ready for him. How could she be? He looks so sad. But Tim what are you expecting my love? No way she is ready to be near you let alone talk. This hurts to watch…Lucy trying so hard just not to have a meltdown right there in the station.

I was very excited for him to have this ride along I will say and this opening scene is why. Dr London on his ass already. I love it. As she should be. Saying he’s bringing Aaron as a buffer. Which he is… Classic avoidance attachment style. That’s our boy. She’s not wrong he prefers surface level relationships (other than Lucy...) to a deep intimacy. His default state with anyone who isn't his girl.

She has him dead to rights already. Saying it’s a defense mechanism when someone is raised by an overly strict or domineering parent. A father. She’s not wrong. We all know his history. Tim of course isn’t about this whatsoever only making her assessment about him even more valid. Their scenes starting off real strong.

Grey wanting to check in on Lucy I do love it. He’s not wrong she’s been through HELL this year. The detectives exam, Jeff Budney and now losing Tim. God this hasn’t been an easy season for her. To say she's going through it is the understatement of the century. I'm hurting for her so very much. Her entire world has been rocked to it's very core in the last week alone. Not mention everything else before this.

It’s so awkward Lucy inviting everyone but Tim to Tamara’s going away dinner…. In front of Dr. London too. That shot from Tim’s body cam seems very intentional. As he looks at everyone she’s inviting but him. Way his head goes back and forth. Grey patting Tim on the arm on the way out. *phew* Rough start to the shift.

Of course their first call is disturbingly close to what she and Tim are dealing with. Not exactly what Lucy needs. Hearing this woman talking about thinking he was the one then it just ended. *heart clutch* Crushed is an apt name for how I was feeling during this episode.

Lucy has clearly kept this all inside for too long with her reaction to the situation. Wade would never set you up like that. Just shows how hyper sensitive she is atm. Why he's doing this ride along with her. He wants to keep you sane not crazy. I wanna hug her so much. 'I do watch too much reality tv. It's my bad' Lmao. Needed a little levity. This made me chuckle.

We hit the ground running about breakups with Dr. London. Honestly no need to beat around the bush for this observation of Tim. ‘Breakups are a trigger for many men. Especially since stereotypical gender roles prevent them from seeking out help. For fear of appearing weak.’ If that isn’t Tim and this entire situation right now…

Hell that's his ENTIRE life. He was shamed into never wanting help and if he did he was meant to feel weak for it. Just like she is stating above. She is very good at her job and just getting started. Tim can't hide in any of his normal brush off statements. Which I love. She has him pegged already and it shows. Quite the opening jab from her to start this off.

Lucy looks on verge of tears at all times right now and I’m dying. Especially when Grey brings up his name. Asking if they’ve talked since the breakup? Melissa straight killing me in this shop right now everyone. Those pre tears.....Saying she thought he didn’t care about her personal life. He’s not wrong if it affects her job it does matter. The point of this ride-along. To gauge where she is currently.

‘Smart to make the connection between IA and them breaking up. ‘Just a bad week.’ Oh its so much more than that…. Lucy protects him of course with the unethical portion. Bad place or not she's not going to cast any suspicion with that. But It’s so very clear she is painfully unaware why he did this to her. To them.

Only that he’s not emotionally available to her. *sigh* This is true. The man is a disaster zone atm. I mean he’s definitely occupied mentally in a way she doesn’t understand yet. Hell I don’t even think Tim understands it really. All he knows is he think's he's toxic and she’s better off without him. Which is a huge part of this episode tbh.

So she isn't wrong he is not emotionally available right now. That much is painfully true. The joke about the Diamondbacks was funny but sad at the same time. They found good way of getting little funnies in there with Grey. I do appreciate that. I'm a sports girl so I this made me smile.

Dr London really coming at Tim in this next section. She is wasting ZERO time with him. ‘Lot of romantic feelings start out as platonic love.’ Going right for it when she says he and Lucy were friends first right? His reaction…Gonna makes me bawl Eric. Hurts to watch this. Looks like he wants to cry. Ugh Tim. Killing me softly. She is getting under his skin quicker than he was expecting and you can tell. Hitting at a very raw nerve he's trying to keep hidden. He looks so distraught and emotional when he replies 'I was her T.O.'

Tim saying he’s not depressed. Oh my love….but you are. Depressed and wracked with a massive amount of guilt. ‘I broke up with her.’ So so defensive. Can’t let good doctor see this whole thing is crushing him. That would be weakness. He is fighting off a panic attack in this moment. So unsettled by this entire interaction. She is picking up on that guilt that is all but exuding out of him in this moment.

She really brings it home saying internalizing guilt and shame leads to self directed anger. Self harm and suicide. If that isn't Tim Bradford my god. The self directed anger is him in spades. His face while she tells him all this.. Oh my lord. She has him dead to rights once again. He is experiencing so much guilt about it and it’s written all over his face. Tim is barely keeping it together while she is telling him stonewalling will only get him sidelined. Honestly I’m glad she’s confronting him like this. Coming at him so hard cause Tim needs that especially right now.

He can’t have passive people in this life when it comes to this kind of stuff. The one person who could knock sense into him he’s pushed away. So Dr. London being here is much needed. Of course Tim snaps at Aaron cause he can’t handle what he’s currently going through. Lashing out because what she is saying to him is true and he isn't able to handle it. Hitting very close to home. So he's defaulting back to S1 Tim in this moment. Destroying Aaron in the process..

I love them talking about Tamara and the unconditional love Lucy has shown her. It’s so true. It’s that love that gave her courage to leave. Even though it's hard to watch happen. It shows what accepting unconditional love can do for you. Lucy bringing back to Tim because how could she not? Mentioning about letting people go even if you really care about them them. *sigh*. You can tell she is on the verge of tears once again.

That feeling where you've been keeping it inside for far too long. It comes out in anything you talk about. Like right now in this moment. Even talking about Tamara is cycling back to Tim and it shows how deeply upset she is. How could she not be? She is losing two of her people in one fail swoop. It's a miracle she hadn't lost it sooner than this moment tbh.

Lucy crushing me some more in this episode. Further proving she has zero idea why Tim did what he did. How he could let go so easily. It was a blindside for us all but none more than for her. His person. The one who never ever expected him to leave her side. Tim did leave her with a cheap cliche nonsense about deserving better. It's so much complex than that but I can see why she is so angry about that. She deserved better than that.

It’s what upset her so much in that 6x06 scene. Because it felt like a cop out to her. When it’s so much deeper than that but Lucy doesn’t know that. Thats what killing me and her. Lucy going off saying it was her decision to make what she deserves. It’s true. She is so justified in saying this. Sadly Tim made that decision despite her willingness to love him no matter what.

Took away her choice to keep him even if he felt he wasn't worthy. Wasn't just HIS choice to make. That's what pissing her off and rightfully so. He doesn’t understand the unconditional love she had to give him or how to accept it. All he could see was how much better she was without him. All she wants is a real conversation with him and she didn't get to have that. He took the choice away from her and she's left holding the emotional bag of it all and it sucks.

Punches keep rolling with Dr London. Attacking his problem at it's damaged root. As much as he is trying to bury it he cannot hide from her and her assessment of him. This is a huge turning point in the ep. Tim saying he owns his mistakes and moves on. So cut and dry and she isn’t having ANY of it. Nor should she. He hasn’t moved on in the slightest. Once again pegging him for not only not being over it but having his whole identity being wrapped up in acting honorably. If he was past that he wouldn’t have ended things with Lucy. We wouldn't be here. But he feels not worthy and not honorable enough for Lucy so he cut ties.

Her noting it’s had a devastating effect on his self esteem. Which is why he is punishing himself. i.e He let the love of his life go. He feels he doesn’t deserve such things for being so un-honorable. My broken boy. Tim isn’t sure what’s she is getting at. Asking what she's talking about? She continues to portray him accurately. That he is punishing himself by depriving himself of something he loves. Something that brings him joy. Or someone....Clearly that someone being Lucy.

The joy she brought to his life he no longer feels he deserves. Lucy was the one constant in his life that made him happy. So he’s depriving himself of it in order to punish himself. This sounds so harsh and severe but I relate to this. When I was new at my current job. I wasn’t very good at first. I was down right on the verge of being fired. I got a game plan to fix myself from my leader. BUT I was punishing myself for not being good enough in the first place. How did I do this? I took away something I loved and brought me joy. Music.

I refused to listen to music during my job because I felt I didn’t deserve it. I wouldn’t let myself enjoy it till I was better and had earned it back. I got to a place where I let myself have something I loved back and it helped so much and ultimately got me through it. So I relate to Tim doing this to himself i really do. He is denying the one person who brings him joy because of that self-punishment. He feels he has failed who he should be therefore he can't have what he wants and needs most. Lucy. You can really see it hit Tim by time Aaron rejoins them. She hit the nail on the head and Tim is feeling it.

Lucy spotting Tim and touching her tattoo SO MUCH. Ugh my heart. Her grounding method to remind herself she's a survivor. The problem with all that is him being the reason for that reminder. Which just hurts. I'm not crying you are....Tim so out of his depth all he can do is be awkward with his ‘Clocking out?’ Babe....No...(Also I feel personally attacked by this song they chose for this scene.)

Lucy calling him out for it instantly. Because well she’s his person. Bad place or not she is always gonna tell him what he needs to hear. Won't let him hide behind niceties. Confronting that things aren't ok between them and she won't let him use it to hide. Asking for a real adult conversation with him. One which he is NOT ready for. This hurt to watch not gonna lie. This whole situation hurts.

Tim deflects….with another cheap answer of saying he can’t give her what she wants. Ugh. You are everything she wants you foolish man. I don’t blame Lucy for cutting that convo off at the knees. She wanted more depth from him and got nothing in return. Telling him he has more to figure out than she realized…and feeling like she is no longer than person to help him with that.

My heart is breaking all over again… Lucy always felt she was his person to get him through anything and to hear this only hurts her further. Coming to that realization and taking off because of it. The song running through this scene is poignant and hurtful…Also the continual clutching to her tattoo as she departs from him. I'll just be weeping in the corner don't mind me....

I wasn't expecting the scene we got here in Grey's office. But was so pleasantly surprised. My hope was that Dr. London broke through to him. That his ride along with her wouldn't be a one-off. I’m so proud of Tim I can't even tell you. To not only see he has work to do but to ask if he could start seeing her as a patient. He seemed disappointed she didn't mandate sessions. Which he needed so he could advocate for himself. Blair had pegged him early on and I think this will be so so good for him.

His healing journey is starting now and I’m so excited for him. Even though my heart is outside my chest right now for our couple. This is going to be good for Tim. I know people have been weird about Dr London. I haven’t gotten a bad feeling from her. I could be wrong but haven't gotten that. I think this is the healing Eric was talking about. That journey he needs to be in order to find his way back to Lucy. Grey's line was perfect. It's SO hard to ask for help. Tim can see something is wrong and wants to fix it. This is a beautiful start to this journey for him.

This final scene with Tamara and Lucy made me cry. This whole ep has made me cry really. Their relationship has always been one of my favorites. To watch how they’ve both grown. How Tamara learned to trust again and receive that unconditional love Lucy had to give. Gah I love it so much. Took a broken untrusting girl and molded her into a confident bad ass. I've never been able to classify what they are. They're sisters, friends and family all wrapped up in one.

Hard to watch Lucy lose this piece of her life on top of everything else. Tim may have a lot of growth to do but I think Lucy too has room to grow from this all as well. She has been given quite the bad hand in this season. Maybe she can get some direction and clarity what she wants to do with career and such. I hate that she has to be the collateral damage to everything this year. It's hard to watch. But I am interested to see how she handles it all. See how she stands after all this. I think as hard as this is will end up making her more resilient.

Lucy been struggling with her own stuff this year as well. Being so good about pegging everyone around her but being blind in her own self awareness. it's going to be interesting to see how Lucy handles everything moving forward. I hope you all know how deeply my heart breaks for her. I don't like seeing her hurt anymore than I do Tim. I wanted to cry for her most of this episode. That being said I do think this growth journey will be good for her as well. Like Eric said she'll be ok they'll grow stronger from it. Can't wait to see how it plays out.

I wasn’t expecting one more scene with him reaching out like this. Telling her she was right. He’s mad himself. That stark realization that is coming over him. My god I’m so proud of him I could burst. Not only advocating for himself but telling her it was an emergency. When everything inside him is trying to do the 'honorable thing' and not call it an emergency when it is. To see he's not being a burden by reaching out like this. It’s so hard to take care of yourself when you don’t think much of yourself. It’s a foreign feeling and to act on it even more so.

Learning it’s ok to ask for help, to be imperfect, to set healthy boundaries and grow. Not an easy place to get to. This scene is HUGE for Tim. Now I mean this in the nicest way I can muster but If you can't grasp how groundbreaking this is for him you don't get him as a character at all. Nor do you understand the gravity of this SL/situation. Of what this final scene represents for him. Tim is seeing something is broken within himself and he doesn't know how to fix it. All he knows is something is wrong and he doesn't want to feel this way anymore. He wants to understand why and to get better.

I know I spent most of my 20's running away from therapy. Saying I didn't need it. That it was non sense. Pushing everything down and deflecting like Tim did. Wrapping my identity in the same things. Being SO DAMN HARD on myself. I still struggle with this but learning to give myself more grace. I can't properly explain the feeling you get when you realize you can't out run your demons anymore. What sets off something inside you that says 'I don't feel right, I don't know how to fix it but I know it's time to.' All I know is what sets it off is different for everyone.

For me it was the fact that I was set off by a kind comment. It was from a sweet lady who was a client of mine. Who commented on earrings my mother had gotten me. I hadn't thought much of it then she looked me in the eye with so much sincerity and said 'Your mother must love you very much.' That comment just hit me so hard. Triggered me. Cause some of my deepest seated trauma comes from my mom. I remember getting in my car and crying after. Texting my sister and telling her I thought it was time I got help. All I knew was something was wrong and it was clawing to the surface and I couldn't ignore it any longer.

That's Tim in this moment. Ray resurfacing was his demons coming up for air and not going away. This is his 'Come to Jesus.' moment about himself. Knowing what Dr. London was telling him today rang true. He just doesn't know to handle it and is reaching out for help to sort it out. Now He couldn’t gotten to this place without Lucy let’s not forget that. Tim wouldn't be in the place he is without her. BUT this is not Lucy's responsibility to fix. Nor should it be. As much as we love her being his person, this is Tim journey to go on.

Now my family/friends got me to place where I could see I needed help. Just like Lucy has for Tim. But it was up to me to take the first step. That's what this scene represents for him. His first step on his journey to healing himself. He knows he has work to do and I know he'll do it. He and I are alike and he will put his all into this. I'm excited the writers did what they did in this ep. Shows they're going to put the proper care into this SL. I can see a pathway way to their healing now and I feel like I can breathe for the first time in three weeks. I'm excited to see where the rest of the season goes for them both I really am. As always thank you for any likes, comments or reblogs I get for these they mean the world.

~~~

Side notes-non Chenford. Mostly lol

I like the idea of Celina moving in but she’s not wrong it would be an emotional minefield… but do love the idea of her living Lucy I don’t want her to be alone. Have one little win for her.

This was the song during that finale scene. Thank you D to finding the link above. it's Chenford Personified in this ep. Once again whoever is doing this songs. You need a damn raise this hurt so good. The lyrics were so Poignant and painful. These one were my fav. 'I miss you. I miss you. I’ll always forgive you."

She will forgive Tim because that's who Lucy is. One of the many reasons Tim fell in love with her. That never ending desire to trust people and forgive them. To see the best in them. She will look at the deeper meaning of his actions and help him past them once he gets there himself. He will have to earn that forgiveness of hers and I have no doubt he will.

This will be a process of that I have no doubt. It won't be quick or easy but my god it'll be worth it. They always are. I don't expect this to be resolved by seasons end but I do expect them to be on their way there by the finale. This is a beautiful growth journey they're about to embark on and I'm ready to go on it.

[vivianleighwishesshewasme]

Captive to a Shelby-9

Gina gets out her stitches and gets more than she bargained for.

______________________________________________________________

    Doctors and Discord

Gina had been surprised when Tommy came sauntering into the bedroom with the doctor. She hadn’t even known he had arrived. 

She was reclining on the couch in her nightgown with a magazine still trying to take it easy after last night's revelations and episodes. She felt naked and exposed now, what should she have worn though? She was to stay relaxed and not move around.

The children had brought toys and invaded their parents bedroom. Tommy had seemed relieved when Gina told him that she’d been bringing the kids in to keep her company and keep the four of them busy while she worked on Christmas plans and relaxed. 

He’d have eyes on her that way. 

Gina was actually relieved to see a doctor. Tommy seemed to think she was having seizures. She had refused to tell him about Grace. Something was gnawing at the back of her mind that it wasn’t safe to mention her. She wished she knew why or remembered something. 

“Hello Mrs. Shelby. Your husband has been filling me in on the ups and downs of the last few weeks. How are you feeling today?” The old man seemed kind. His hands were at least warm. He grabbed her wrist and checked her pulse while asking her normal questions about her daily routine. 

“Is Mummy still crazy?” Lawrence's loud voice rang through the room and straight into Gina’s heart. Great, even her babies thought that. Wonderful. 

He had been playing fairly quietly moments ago with a metal truck racing it all over the room and chasing his siblings. Penelope's little porcelain dolls seemed to be his favorite target. Hit and run. 

“Hey, mum was never crazy. She's just sick alright.” Gina’s heart softened at Charlie's kind words. He was such a loving, tenderhearted and sweet boy. She often wondered if Tommy’s first wife had been like that. She couldn’t imagine it though.

“Oi, Go, take some toys and play in the living room by yourselves, eh. Take Penelope with you. Go” Tommy’s deep and commanding voice made it clear that he was done  with them being a part of the appointment. The boys groaned, gathering their little toys. Charlie picked up Penolpe who was all too happy to be carried. Tommy’s little princess she was. 

Gina and Tommy took large exhales out and laughed in unison. They obviously loved their little family but it could be a lot sometimes.

Tommy sat next to her on the couch and lit a cigarette. Ugh, she wanted one so bad. 

The doctor was standing behind her, his bag next to her on a side table. She’d glanced at all the sharp little tools and tablets scattered throughout. She’d always hated going to the doctors. 

“Alright Mrs. Shelby. Lets get those stitches out yeah. For a week, continue to be gentle with your head.” He kept his tone sunny and even. Why was she more unnerved by that?

Gina could hear the snips of scissors and the thread being pulled and unlaced, stinging and burning as he pulled out the little threads. It sounded horrific. 

“There, all done.” He came around the side and shook Tommys hand. It seemed like they were done. Gina was relieved. She was fighting everything in her not to touch the back of her head though. She was more scared to touch it now then when she’d felt the little wirey threads as she brushed and styled her hair each morning. 

“So, she takes the tablets twice a day for seizures, yes. I’ll let Francis know so they are taken at the same time every day.” Tommy seemed significantly more relaxed now. 

Gina scoffed. More fucking pills. She was starting to feel like an invalid or an eighty year old lady with so much medication. 

“There is one more test.” The doctor smiled at them both. “I need her to take it before I prescribe anything officially. We don't want to hurt anyone.” He seemed quite pleased with that statement. Her husband had a grin that was broadly spitting his handsome face. What was she missing? It felt huge whatever it was. 

Gina came back and handed the doctor a stick. She had no idea why it was necessary to get a urine sample. He seemed to check it on a chart and put a stethoscope up to his ears. He was now crouched in front of Gina, sitting on his heels. For a man who looked to be in his sixties he was quite spry. 

Gina hissed and sucked in her stomach when the cold metal touched the yellow silk covering her body. Tommy had grabbed her hand, running small circles around her palm to reassure her. The man stood up, still smiling.

Gina thought he smiled too much, hopefully he wasn’t an idiot. She wasn’t so sure at the moment. 

“It's positive, one pill of each a day shouldn’t affect the baby. Congratulations Mr. and Mrs. Shelby.” Tommy stood shaking the man’s hand vigorously. 

Gina sat there frozen like stone. 

“What the fuck?!” Her exploitativeness surprised her. Not because of the word but her response to the news. They had several children, well two that she’d apparently given birth too. Tommy  and Gina had been quite amourous over the last few months but a baby on top of….everything?! 

Tommy looked her up and down with an expression she couldn't quite read. E wasn’t thrilled at her response.

“I’m sorry, I’m….I’m just in shock with… you know.” She could feel the panic rising again. She felt like she was going to vomit. Wait….was that what happened yesterday? Had she thrown up after the whole Grace thing because of a baby? 

“Gina, Gina, it's okay. It’s okay, yeah. This is a good thing. Give you something else to  look forward to.” He’d sat down beside her again and pulled her up against her. She couldn’t breath, think or even feel right now. 

Why did she feel more trapped now?

____________________________________________________________

[tatasoom]

I'm here today for a special preview analysis in TWO PARTS.

Here in the first part we will talk about the most speculative theory mostly based on nothing lol

In the second part you will discover that P'Aof loves an airport scene so much that gonna give us TWO OF THEM.

Enjoy!

A CRAZY THEORY BASED ON THE PREVIEW (OR NOTHING)

Yeah, I don't think predictions makes much sense now, but some viewers in the comments on YouTube (and also I) noticed a really strange thing in the preview for the last episode. Let's take a look.

Mhok is in the airport and see Day, probably two or three years later (I took this time information from a "novel" and it seems logical due to Day's graduation we see in the preview).

The last shot is already one of my favourite, Jimmy's acting (shock - hope - pain) and the angle, ugh!.. Well, let's talk about Day in this scene.

We see him on an escalator with a bag only and then walking freely... I believe he's a talented boy, but do you believe blind person can walk like this without a stick or a dog?.. I see sometimes visually impaired people in the metro and they're really good at navigating without any help, but they always have the stick! Actually Day also has one!

And that's how we're coming to the first part of the theory:

In this upcoming scene Day is not blind anymore.

Okay, we assume he can see and then the question is why he shows no interest in Mhok.

When I suddenly met my ex three years later after an extremely dramatic relationships and devastating break up, he stopped in the center of the metro station crowd and trust me we both looked more like Mhok, than like Day!

Some viewers think that Day just can't recognize Mhok, because they met each other after Day's vision had lowered to 20%. However we not only saw him looking at Mhok from that one palm distance, but also having photos of Mhok! Don't you think after a successful surgery Day must want to check out what a person he loved so much looks like?..

And that's how we're coming to the second part of the theory:

Day recognized Mhok, but pretends he didn't.

Yeah, I told you this theory is crazy! But listen... all previews, especially for the second part of the show, was playing with our emotions. And as we already know the episode 11 preview just showed us some moments from idk maybe the first ten minutes of the episode. I couldn't even imagine how much fluff and pain this episode actually brought us.

So no wonder this airport scene can be another moment of Day playing on Mhok's nerves (remember that beach scene with the book?) and P'Aof playing with our hearts.

That would be so f***ed up that I'm even ready to forgive them for giving Day his vision back haha

I've also read the novel ending and the series is definitely not gonna be the same, but will have some similarities. Maybe we'll see not only Day's graduation, but also his small bookstore and working process.

The most important part for me is not the circumstances of Day and Mhok's reunion, but the words about Day all that years looking for the kind of love Mhok gave him. I'm not ugly sobbing, you are.

P. S. Still processing episode 11 with a whole mountain of real life stories in my head. Trust me P'Aof is more realistic in storytelling than it seems. If you need a long post about different people I know going to the US for different reasons, also with breaking up with their lovers, just ask me haha

Thank you for reading and don't forget to check the second part!