celery-the-druid

[celery-the-druid]

“Elon didn’t mean to sieg heil, he’s just autistic”

Do you guys remember when Kanye said he was gonna go “death con” on all the Jews? Do you remember how his apologists said he was just off his bipolar meds? Do you remember that he doubled down, said he didn’t actually have bipolar, and he had been misdiagnosed by a Jew doctor? Do you remember he proceeded to meet with prominent white supremacists and told infowars he was a Nazi who loved Hitler?

Nobody ever believes the Jews the first time, even though our culture has spent literally thousands of years learning the warning signs. We know what we’re looking at. It’s two consecutive Nazi salutes on a white supremacist’s inauguration day. You can downplay it all you want, but this coal mine’s canary isn’t coming back to life.

[celery-the-druid]

debbie downer and negative nancy should lez out

[celery-the-druid]

remember in 2007 or 2008 when emo was at its peak and gay marriage wasn't legal and so we had boys in eyeliner and skirts making out with each other at the mall in protest. i think we need this again

[celery-the-druid]

debbie downer and negative nancy should lez out

[celery-the-druid]

I cant explain how glad I am that Ragh didn't die in Fantasy High Freshman Year because it was such a close possibility

They had to revivify him and then Gorgug did 38 points of (halved) damage in the prompocalypse bc his gay crush died and was in the line of fire for a lightning bolt

He just needed a kiss from gorgug to realise his worth

But now we have the cutest gay jock half-orc that loves his mum and protects his friends

[celery-the-druid]

They probably had wayyy more sleepovers than they let on. And then didn't tell the others

[celery-the-druid]

medieval peasant: I see... so, it is the case that there are many paintings within this magical book? it is not so strange after all.

me, trying to show him tumblr to scare him: I was kind of hoping this would be a bit more confusing to you

peasant, suddenly pointing at the screen: hark! cynocephali

[celery-the-druid]

Is this anything

[celery-the-druid]

Hungarian swords, 14th century, at the Topkapi Palace Museum in Istanbul. The middle sword is 8ft long

[celery-the-druid]

letterpress postcards by Pottering Cat, Japan

[celery-the-druid]

Commission for Amanda.

[celery-the-druid]

knights of the roundtable

[celery-the-druid]

when dogs are scary smart

over the last several months, we have been implementing a protocol to eliminate karybelle the sheltie’s barking surrounding her mealtimes. we have accomplished this by initially introducing an alternate activity during prep time (stuffed kong) and religiously giving her a time out gated in the yard if she stops that activity to bark, thus delaying her dinner until she’s quiet. this has been extremely successful; she’s gone from barking literally 100+ times during meal prep to barking 0 times, and only occasionally slips up. the behavior she has chosen to replace her meal-prep-screaming (after all, that energy has to go somewhere) is frantically - but silently - running circles around the coffee table to finally slam into a perfect down-stay as her bowl is set down.

this evening as the food was coming out, karybelle seamlessly slipped into her silent circling routine. except after a couple of reps, she abruptly changed course, yeeted herself out the dog door, barked once, and immediately jumped back in to resume her circling.

if that isn’t a demonstration of crystal clear understanding of criteria, i…don’t know what is lmao

[celery-the-druid]

[celery-the-druid]

forgive me lord for I have imagined a life far more soft and tender than the one you created for me

[celery-the-druid]

[celery-the-druid]

affirmations

i am a complex organism brutally engineered by uncaring forces of nature

i am a product of billions of years and trillions of deaths

i am building a machine greater than myself

i am able to make phone calls and appointments