i have no idea if you're still taking prompts, but anything andreil either in the armies universe or in the way down we go universe would be gucci and i would love you forever. my life belongs to you now
Okay, so first off, @dancyon, thanks for all the messages youâve sent me over time, the comments about the fics and so forth. I know youâve asked if Iâd ever do another story for Way Down We Go or if Mary hadnât died, and oddly enough, Iâve had a plot idea for a while which merged the two.
And sorry for being âquietâ lately, but back to trying to figure things out - one of them being my writing, and my writing in fandom in particular. Iâve been doing it for years, and while Iâve thought of each fic being a way to improve my skills, to learn something new... I have to say, lately I just feel like nothing Iâm writing is worth anything, itâs just drivel and pathetic.
So Iâm trying to get motivated to write again. This is something that actually got me busy at the keyboard, so I hope @dancyon that you are at least happy, since I know itâs something youâve waited for a long time. And if itâs the last thing I do for AFTG, then itâs fitting that itâs back to WDWG, since that was my first fic for the fandom.
That said - the fic. Consider it a âwhat ifâ for WDWG - if Mary had lived but sent Neil/Nathaniel off on his own at the beginning of the fic (believing she was about to die), and everything still takes place as written in the story. Warnings for things referenced in the story, language, Maryâs bad (abusive) parenting skills, and Andrew being protective of Neil.
*******
Through A Glass Darkly
*******
Mary hissed through clenched teeth as she motioned for Abramto take the exit for San Francisco. âGet off there,â she commanded, whichearned a disbelieving look from her son. âDo it.â
âBut-â
âDo it,â she repeated, âand find the nearest petrolstation. Once there, put in a few li-â dammit, she was slipping, âah, a fewgallons and then run.â
âMum, whatâs happening?â Abram asked as he dared to glanceaway from the dark highway in front of them to give her a scared look. âThatâŚweâre ditching the car?â
âNo, you are,â she told him. âYouâre going to run,Abram, going to keep going and never stop, never look back.â
âYouâre not making any sense,â he argued as he shook hishead, his left eye bruised from a lucky blow that bitch had landed backin Seattle; Mary was certain he hid more injuries beneath his clothes, but heâdgotten off with less than her so he needed to move on. âWeâll-â
âNo, we wonât.â Pain made her tone more waspish than usualas she fought not to curl up in a ball, to just give in to the burning agonyeating at her insides. âThat prick⌠he got me good,â she admitted as she heldup her bloody left hand, a sardonic smile curling her thin lips when her songasped. âNo,â she repeated when Abram opened his mouth, most likely to argueabout stopping to take care of the wound. âThis isnât something we fix withbourbon and stitches, I can tell, or else weâd already be in a motel by now.âNo, Nathan had finally gotten to her in the end, but sheâd make sure hewouldnât get her boy. âSo you listen to me, do you understand?â
âBut, Mum, we-â
âDo you understand, Abram?â Sheâd back it with asmack if she had the strength.
It sounded as if the boy choked back on a sob, but his eyesremained dry and he gave a curt nod in the end. âGood. Next exit, then gasstation. Put in enough gas so I can drive away,â could muddy the waters, so tospeak, however much longer she had, âand then you run,â she ordered with asmuch force as she could muster. âYou run and you donât look back, you donâtslow down and you donât trust anyone, do you hear me?â
âYes, maâam,â he said in a quiet voice as his hands grippedthe steering wheel hard enough to turn his knuckles white â they were herhands, were the Hatfordsâ hands with the long, slender fingers.
âYou keep moving, you-â A cough took over, filled her mouthwith blood which she spat onto the left sleeve of her shirt. âBecome someoneelse,â she said once her throat was mostly clear. âUse the contacts in thebinder, get a new ID, and another one, and-â
âI know, Mum, I know. I promise. Just⌠just rest,â hepleaded as he took the exit a little fast.
âYouâll survive, youâre a Hatford,â she assured him as sherested her back against the seat, as she did her best to ride out the latestwave of pain. âKeep moving.â
It was quiet the next few minutes (save her laboredbreathing) until Abram found a gas station; he parked next to the farthest pumpand did his best to straighten up his appearance, then pulled on an oversizedhoodie as he went to pay for a couple gallons of gas. He returned with a bottleof water and some over the counter pain pills, which Mary choked down beforeshe forced herself into the driverâs seat while he tended to the pump.
She made him take her few belongings with him since she hadno need for them (that and the less which was found on her, the better). Hischin wavered and there was a suspicious gleam in his eyes (darkened bycontacts), but he held it together, mindful of the lessons sheâd taught him, ofany possible cameras around the station.
For one improbable moment, she felt the urge to pull himclose and hug him, to not let go⌠but he wasnât a child anymore, hadnât beenone for years, and he needed to run before the prickâs people got any closer.Besides, the clock was winding down for her, what good would it do to wasteprecious moments on something so useless? âGo, and live,â she told him as shestarted the car.
He may have said something like her name or âMumâ, but sheslammed the door shut and was already pulling away, refusing to look back at heronly child. Teeth clenched against the pain, she drove away, determined to putas much distance between her and Abram as possible in the small amount of timeshe had left.
After that, it was fighting the agony and blood-loss to keepcontrol of the car, to remain in the lane and not attract unwanted attention.To give Abram one last fighting chance.
The last thing she remembered was seeing a sign for the exitto King City before everything went dark.
*******
She woke up to the sound of beeping and an ache in her head,to a sense of lethargy. It was so difficult to open her eyes, and there wassuch a foul taste in her mouth that she gave up and let the darkness pull herunder once again.
The next time there was still the annoying beeping noises,was still the lethargy which made it difficult to move her limbs, still theawful gumminess in her mouth. There was also some git flashing a light in herbarely open eyes, which prompted a weak moan.
âHello? Can you hear me? Blink twice if you can.â
It took so much effort, but she did that, as well as try toswat their (was it a man?) hand away to get rid of the light. There were morewords but she didnât understand them, not when they all blurred together, andshe fell asleep once again.
When she woke later, she was more coherent and managed tomumble out a request for water to the woman sitting next to the bed. The person(a nurse?) scrambled and held a straw to her lips (something was wrong, why waseverything so blurry, so distant?), but only let her take a couple of sips beforepulling it away. âIâm sorry, but you canât drink too much at once.â
It took a few tries, but she (why couldnât she rememberanything? Like her name and where she was?) managed to make hertongue, so thick and heavy in her mouth, work. âWha⌠where?â
âWhere? Oh.â The woman, appearing middle-aged and dressed inscrubs, her salt-and-pepper hair cut short and styled in tight curls close toher scalp and a reassuring smile on her dark-skinned face bearing only a fewwrinkles. âYouâre in the Natividad Medical Center. Now let me page Dr. Carra,heâs been waiting for you to wake up again.â
What followed was more poking and prodding, with lots ofquestions and very few answers â from Dr. Carra or Beth Wilson, the nurse mostoften assigned to âJaneâ; it eventually came out that sheâd been pulled from acar wreck near King City almost a year ago, near death and with noidentification. After the local hospital had stabilized her, theyâd sent her toNatividad when it became clear that she was in a coma from the blood loss andtrauma, and the staff there werenât surprised that sheâd woken up with nomemory of her past. Now they were focused on her getting better.
Oh, it wasnât quite as simple as that, not when sheâd beenfound in a stolen car, when her fingerprints were so badly damaged that theycouldnât manage a complete enough one to search any database for her, whensheâd been found with no ID at all, when her body was covered with scars from beforethe accident. Sheâd overheard a couple of nurses talk about how the police werewaiting for her to recover enough to talk to her, but Dr. Carra refused toallow them access until she showed some signs of progress.
She might not remember anything of her past, but she knewsomehow that she couldnât let that happen, that she had to get out of therebefore the police got involved. So she faked the lack of recovery, made it seemlike her body wasnât cooperating when it came to walking again or handlingsimple tasks⌠and after a few weeks (right around when Dr. Carra talked aboutsending her on to another hospital for evaluation), she timed it just right duringthe night, hit up the nursesâ locker room for a change of clothes and whatevercash she could find, and slipped out of the hospital with no one the wiser.
Perhaps she couldnât remember her name, where she was fromand how sheâd ended up in that car accident, but somehow, she knew how to sneakaround, how to steal and pick pockets, how to vanish. She put those skills touse getting the hell out of Salinas, and when the Greyhound bus stopped atArizona, her hair was dyed another color and cut into a new style.
It was a littletrickier to get into Mexico; she spent a couple of weeks picking pockets on herway from Arizona to Texas, until she had enough to bribe a truck driver tosmuggle her over the border at the Presidio Bridge. For some reason, a sense ofanxiousness left her once she was out of the country, though there was anagging feeling that sheâd forgotten something, that sheâd left somethingimportant behind.
Yet what could she do when she no longer remembered herpast?
It wasnât easy, being an American woman alone in Mexico, onewithout papers at that, but Jane (as sheâd taken to calling herself), realizedthat she was highly adaptable and resilient. She was also willing to dowhatever it took to not only remain alive but to stand on her own, as anyonewho tried to harm or dismiss her soon learned. Since she didnât go out of herway to pick fights and was quick to offer solutions to deal with any âruffledâfeathers, she eventually was able to settle down in Monterrey as Judith Leeson,an ex-pat who worked as a bartender most nights but who also was available as atranslator for the various businesspeople who came to the city for business(legitimate or otherwise).
Whoever sheâd been in the past, she appreciated the factthat sheâd learned several languages, as the German, French, bit of Italian andPortuguese as well as the rapidly expanded Spanish came in very handy in hernew life.
At times, she felt the urge to move on, to start anew, butshe didnât know what she was running from so she forced herself to remain inthe safe place sheâd found for herself and to continue building up a heftysavings account while she paid attention to the customers who came into thebar, the people who hired her for her language skills, the neighbors around hersmall apartment. No detail was too tiny to ignore, and she promised herselfonce the money reached a set amount, sheâd leave Mexico and start anew.
For some reason, she had a yearning to see LondonâŚ.
Sheâd spent two weeks running all over the city for someFrench prat who didnât even like beer but was there because of the one brewingcompany, and so wasnât in the mood to deal with customers at the moment (truthbe told, she rarely was in the mood to deal with customers). When a group ofAmericans asked Jair to switch the channel on a television from a telenovelarerun to one which gave updates on sports, she shrugged to show she didnât carebecause it should at least keep them distracted.
For once the patrons werenât interested in some football orbaseball recap, but that one new sport â Exy. Jane (Judith) found herselfgrowing annoyed as always whenever it was brought up, which sheâd never beenable to figure out why â at least it was fast-paced, like soccer. Yet she feltanger build up inside of her whenever she heard the word âExyâ, whenever shesaw young people run across one of its courts, and that evening was noexception.
The commentator went on to recap what must be somecollegiate season, and her shoulders tensed and temper spiked each time thewords âEdgar Allanâ were brought up, enough so that Ines, one of the servers,gave her a worried look when she stopped by to pick up the drinks for hercustomers. Jane grit her teeth and forced herself to pour the shots of tequilasand beers, to make the margaritas and whatever else the guests wanted, halftempted to down a drink herself.
The one table cheered when the announcer got to the finalgame, between the Edgar Allan Ravens and the Palmetto State Foxes; all Janecared about was that it meant that the segment should soon be over. She hadjust set down a bottle of tequila when it felt like someone kicked her in thehead.
â-at this point in the game, Neil Josten switched from astriker to the backliner position. I donât know if people are aware that heplayed as a backliner years ago when he was Nathaniel Wesninski, but obviouslyhe didnât-â
Nathaniel Wesninski.
Nathaniel Abram Wesninski.
Abram.
Nathan Wesninski.
The Hatfords.
She was Mary Jamilyn Hatford Wesninski.
A feeling of disconnection washed over her as she stared atthe television, at the game displayed on it; a small figure in white and orangeran across a black and red court, the number â10â and name âJostenâ across hisback, while a cropped image of his face appeared in the corner along with thebanner declaring him to be âNeil Josten â PSU Striker #10â.
That⌠that was Abram. He was a few years older thanthe last time sheâd seen him, his hair color restored to a deep auburn and halffalling into his eyes â his blue eyes. There were strong echoes of Nathanin his appearance, marred by sharp cheekbones and thin eyebrows and a fullbottom lip, as well as a scar that ran across the boyâs nose and beneath hisleft eye, and another through his right eyebrow.
There was also an âAâ tattoo on his left cheek.
âJudith? Is everything okay?â
Mary nearly grabbed the small knife she used to cut up fruitand shoved it into Inesâ throat before she caught herself in time. âI⌠Iâvea bad headache,â she half-lied in Spanish; her head did hurt, probably fromthe returned memories, but it was more the realization that her son was playingExy, that heâd been back at Edgar Allan of all places, right infront of the damn Moriyamas⌠what the hell had happened?
She was going to beat the boy black and blue once she gother hands on him. Beat him until he never dared to argue with her again, to goagainst her wishes.
Damn Exy.
It took a couple of weeks before she could leave Monterrey, finishan owed job and line up a passport which would stand up to any scrutiny as wellas find a driver with a SENTRI card who could get her out of the country (atleast she had plenty of money and contacts this time around). While she waitedfor the forger to come through, she found out that Nathan was dead, buried inthe ground (or whatever, may the prick rot in Hell) the last few years afterheâd been killed in prison (at least Seattle had been worth something)and most of his people dead or on the run.
That Abram had somewhat listened to her, as heâd made it outof San Francisco⌠but eventually ended up at Palmetto State University with ascholarship to play Exy, after turning down Edgar Allan. It seemed that heâdignored her instructions to forego anything to do with the damn game andsomehow attracted the attention of the Moriyamas (according to what she couldpick up over the internet)⌠yet he was still alive (despite a very publicattempt on Riko Moriyamaâs part to change that), and appeared to beoutside of their control.
Mary needed to reach her son, find out what was going onfrom a reliable source and get the both of them out of the country.
As soon as she crossed the border back into the States, she madeher way for one of her stashes of cash and weapons that had been left inNebraska. Even with Nathan dead, she felt as if there was a target painted onher back, now that she knew her past and had returned to the country which hadcaused her so much pain. Due to the paranoia and her lack of knowledge, she hadto waste more time backtracking and laying a false trail, âjust in caseâ.
At least everything was still in the abandoned cabin in thePonca State Park, even if Mary spent the entire time hiking to it cursing inseveral languages. From there, it was driving in an old Ford sedan she boughtin Omaha to Chicago (with a few careful detours), where she could hit up an oldfamily contact for a new ID and hopefully for some of that reliableinformation.
After spending the night in a motel to clean up (and changeher hair), she set off for the French Market District to find Durand, planningto arrive soon after he opened the office. That gave her time to stop for a coffeeand a croissant at the nearby market, and sheâd just finished both before sheset off to see the forger.
As soon as she walked into the manâs office, he paled andacted as if heâd seen a ghost even as he fumbled for something (a gun, mostlikely) beneath the counter. âNo⌠this isnât possibleâŚ.â
âYes, it is,â she assured him in French. âWe firstmet almost twenty-four years ago, after I arrived in this country, at a partythat Blondel threw for Rieves. You complemented my necklace.â Which Nathanhad broke into pieces later that night in a fit of petty jealousy.
âBut youâre supposed to be dead,â Durand insisted ashe set a pistol on the counter, doubts apparently put at rest. âYour son-â
âHe thinks Iâm dead,â Mary explained. âThe last hesaw me⌠it wasnât good. I barely survived and woke up without any memory untilrecently. Iâm on my way to find him, after you provide me with a new IDand some information.â
âIâll do my best,â Durand said with a slightinclination of his head after a momentâs hesitation âIâm sure he and your family,especially your brother, will be delighted to know youâre alive.â
âMy brother?â Mary asked in confusion as she began to pullout a stack of money. âWhich one?â Though she guessed he meant Stuart, sincesheâd always been closer to him.
He confirmed that it was Stuart as he began to type on a laptop,then left her stunned with his next words. âHeâs here in the States so itâlltake no time at all to reach him.â Durand paused to gaze at her. âUnless youâdprefer to reach out to him yourself?â
Stuart was here? Why was Stuart here? âI⌠yes.The Hatfords are working here now?â
Durand paused again, his expression unreadable save for aglimmer of concern in his dark eyes. âA lot has happened in the last severalyears, Mary. Nathan Wesninski is dead and his area is now run by MarcoHaywood.â Mary frowned at that then shrugged since she didnât recognize thename. âKengo Moriyama is dead and the organization is much stronger under thedirection of his son, Ichirou⌠with the Hatfords at his side instead of theButcher.â
That drew a gasp out of her â not that Ichirou had finallysucceeded his father (perhaps sooner than sheâd expected) but that her familyworked for the Moriyamas. âHow?â
âTo repay a debt, one of a death owed, or so they thought,âDurand told her with evident pity as he turned the laptop around to face her.âDo you want to call your brother, or shall I?â
Stuart had come here because of her? The bloody fool â sowhy hadnât he done something about Abram? Why was the boy playing Exy insteadof safe in England? âIâll call him,â Mary gritted out as she memorized thenumber on the screen, which was different from the one back before her accidentand explained why she hadnât been able to reach Stuart before then. âNow forthe ID. I need a driverâs license and a passport.â Once she reached Abram,sheâd need a new set for him; perhaps Stuart could help her out.
Durand gave a slight nod and cited a number, which wouldburn through most of her money. Unfortunately, she didnât see any way aroundit, not until she either hit up another stash, asked Stuart for some help or gotto Abram, who would hopefully have some money left.
It was quiet while for several minutes while Durand typed onhis laptop, until he cleared his throat. âMary⌠I donât know what all youâvebeen through, but I do know that things have changed a lot in the last fewyears. I suggest you talk to your brother and your son before you make anydecisions, the sooner the better.â
She gave him a cold look as she sat down in one of thechairs lining the opposite wall and lit up a cigarette despite the âno smokingsignâ, and things were quiet again after that, other than when he asked her tostand so he could take her picture. While she waited for the new documents, sheused the burner phone sheâd picked in Texas to search for new information onAbram.
âNeilâ was back in the States after doing a media campaignin Japan (a fact which made her teeth grind together and her right hand ache tosmack him until he was barely conscious over daring to draw so much attentionto himself for what? Money? Adulation?), and supposed to report to the PSUcampus soon for the start of training.
The most recent pictures of the boy usually had him dressedin Exy gear and posed with Kevin Day (why wasnât he at Edgar Allan? Did theMoriyamas own PSU as well?), but there were also ones of him in casual clothesnext to one Andrew Minyard, often with the short, impassive blond man appearingto block Abram from the photographers. Mary nearly bit her tongue in half whenshe read the caption about how the two were dating, and threw the phoneaside as she fumbled for another cigarette.
Had the foolish boy listened to her at all?
Durand tried to warn her once again to not do anythingfoolish when he handed over her new documents, but all she did was snatch themup before she slapped his payment down on the counter and storm out, determinedto reach Abram so she could pull him from the fucked-up mess heâd made ofthings.
As furious as she was, she took care not to drive directlyto the Palmetto State campus in case Durand broke faith in her (or, morelikely, someone was watching the manâs shop), timing things to arrive in SouthCarolina shortly after the Foxesâ summer practice resumed. She also held backon calling Stuart, unnerved despite herself from Durandâs repeat warnings andthe fact that her brother had gone to the Moriyamas because of her.
Why was her family so stupid?
Once on the PSU campus, she dialed the number sheâd enteredin the one burner phone despite the early morning hour. It rang into voicemailbefore she hung up and dialed again, when Stuart finally answered on the secondring.
âThe fuck are you?â he asked, his deep voice slurred withsleep.
Mary froze for a moment upon hearing her brother, a memorysurfacing of him cursing her out, gruff voice harsh but grey eyes pleading withher to stay, to not take Abram and leave London. âHello, Stuart.â
It was quiet for several heartbeats, and then Stuart let outa string of virulent curses. âI will gut whoever the hell you are for this sickjoke,â he finally spat. âGut you like a-â
âYou always made me sandwiches with cream cheese andcucumbers,â she told him in a rush, well aware of how inventive he could bewith threats. âEven though Mum got on you to feed me something moresubstantial, you knew how much I loved them. And youâd slice the cucumbers allthin, even after you cut your finger so bad the one time, enough to leave ascar beneath the nail on your left index finger. You should have gottenstitches but you didnât want Mum to know.â
Stuart drew in a sharp breath and held it for a couple ofseconds. âHow?â he demanded to know. âYouâre supposed to be dead, Nathanialsaid that bastard killed you.â
âHe said that the prick hurt me badly in Seattle and I toldhim that I didnât have much time so he had to go on without me, right?â
âYeah. Did he lie, or you?â
Mary nodded even though Stuart couldnât see her. âNeither.âWhen Stuart scoffed, she shook her head. âNo, itâs the truth, I was bleedinginternally, had a ruptured spleen, among other things,â according to Dr. Carra,and she knew it wasnât from the car accident, âand only the fact that someonesaw me wreck the car after Abram and I parted ways saved my life.â
âWhere were you? Why did you show up now?â Stuart demandedto know as something clicked in the background â a lighter. âOff on a niceholiday?â
âNot quite,â she snapped as she tapped the fingers of herright hand against the steering wheel and squashed the urge for a cigarette.âFunny thing about almost bleeding to death and your body shutting down, itsometimes leads to a coma, of all things. When I woke up several months later,I didnât remember who I was.â
âConvenient, that,â Stuart said with a hefty dose of sarcasmafter exhaling loudly. âWhat jogged the old noggin, eh? Suddenly feel the urgeto stab someone and everything came rushing back?â
âNo, I saw my son playing a sport I forbade him to partakein ever again, at Edgar Allan of all places, on television. Imagine that.â Marywas just as good at sarcasm â one could call it a family trait. âSeeing thechild I spent several years on the run with back at the damn place Iâd given upeverything for to keep him from, and then I find out youâre working for theMoriyamas? What the fuck, Stu?â
There was another harsh exhale before her brother answered,anger evident in his voice. âFirst? Nathanielâs not a child anymore, if youhavenât noticed. Second? Youâve been gone for over four years, Mary. Fouryears! A lotâs happened during that time, and a good bit of it because wethought you were dead. Joining the Moriyamas meant that we could finally takeout that bastard and repay him for all the grief he caused us, and-â
âWhat about Abram?â she demanded to know while she continuedto watch the front entrance of what her research told her was the athletesâdorm. âWas he part of the deal?â Had her brother, her family betrayed herbecause she refused to allow her son to join the Hatford organization?
There was another brief span of silence before Stuart huffedin response. âYeah, itâs definitely you, either alive or a demon back from thedead.â Then he huffed again. âNot much of a difference, eh?â The faint bit ofhumor disappeared when he spoke next. âAll Iâve done is look after that boy asmuch as I can, which isnât half as much as Iâd like, considering how much youfucked things up by taking him and running all over the damn place instead ofletting us help like we wanted.â He continued on when she tried to argue. âNo,listen for once, dammit. I do what I can, but Natha- no, Neil is rightclever bastard and heâs made his own way, more or less. Got the main house totake him in, to extend its protection over him in exchange for him playing Exyand giving them part of his earnings.â The bastard sounded proud ofAbram, of all things.
âSo they own him,â Mary clarified, made numb at the thoughtof how deep the Moriyamas had their hooks in her boy.
âThey always owned him,â Stuart said with a mirthlesschuckle. âThanks to the bastard. Nathanielâs made it so he has some freedomnow, can play wherever he wants as long as he wins.â
âHeâs still owned,â Mary ground out as she caught sight of ashort, lean figure in an orange shirt and grey shorts, and put the car inâdriveâ. âI wonât stand for that, for him being property.â
âMary, for fuckâs sake, what are you thinking? Everythingâssettled, donât mess things up! Tell me where you are and Iâll come to you,okay?â
âMy sonâs out there, property andunprotected.â A son she slowly followed, mindful not to get too close as Abram joggedalong the deserted campus.
âFor crying â heâs not âunprotectedâ!â
âWhat, the Moriyamas have guards on him?â Sheâd have to takethat into consideration when she grabbed Abram, but she didnât spot anyone nearhim as of yet.
âNo! I mean, not like that,â Stuart muttered. âAndrewâsalways with him so heâs safe.â
âAndrewâ. âYou know about his âboyfriendâ.â She sneered asshe spoke the last word.
âEveryone knows about the runt, the two of âem are âoutâ.âStuart sounded rather aggrieved about that.
âAnd you didnât dissuade this âruntâ from your nephew?â Whatthe hell had Stuart been thinking the last few years? This was his way ofâlooking outâ for Abram?
There was another loud scoff at that question. âLike hell Ididnât. Thing is, your son is rather set on the âruntâ⌠and I hate to admit it,but Andrewâs good for him.â He sounded even more aggrieved right then. âNo oneâsgonna touch Nathaniel while Andrewâs around.â
Sheâd see about that. âIâm not about to let my son remainproperty any longer, or in the company of a possessive thug. You need to thinklong and hard about where your loyalty lies, Stu,â Mary said before she endedthe call and tossed the phone out of the car, just in case her brother tried totrack it.
Aware that she didnât have long, she followed from adistance until she saw Abram reach into the right pocket of his shorts, thengunned the car. Abram lunged out of the way of the vehicle, blue eyes wide withsurprise, and faltered when he caught sight of her.
Mary slammed on the brakes and scrambled to get out of thecar while Abram was stunned motionless, aware that she didnât have much time.âAbram,â she called out as she stepped forward, the door left open and enginerunning. âItâs me.â
âYou- youâre dead.â His voice could barely be heard over thesound of the carâs engine. âYou canât⌠I have to be imagining this.â
âNo, it really is me. You were Henryk when we lived in Graz,Eike in Dresden, Charlie in Glasgow. We had to eat peanut butter sandwiches forthree weeks straight when we lived in Glasgow because the apartment didnât haveany electricity or a stove, and Morrie gave us a deal on the-â
âThe peanut butter when we got the new IDs,â he finished forher with an uncertain tone of voice. âIt was that or the canned sardines, butyou were worried about the smell.â
âYeah. I promised you some strawberries if youâd eat afterthe second week.â She hadnât gotten him them until Paris, but Abram had chokeddown the sandwiches per their agreement.
Heâd been a good boy â at least back then.
âHow?â Abram asked as he took a slight step forward andignored the ringing of his phone. âI thought⌠you told meâŚ.â
âI know,â she assured him as she bridged the distancebetween them. âI nearly died, and Iâll explain everything later, but we have togo now, Abram. Get in the car and Iâll tell you on the way.â
Instead of listening to her, he frowned. âGo? Mum⌠no, gowhere?â he asked as he shook his head. âCome with me to the dorms, you can tellme everything there.â
Sheâd been gone too long; heâd forgotten everything,forgotten that he needed to listen to her. âIâm getting you out of here,away from the Moriyamas,â she explained as she latched on to his right wrist âwas he wearing something beneath the sleeves of his shirt?
âBut itâs fine with the Moriyamas,â he dared to argue. âYouneed to come with me and meet Andrew, sit down and-â
Angered with the way that he didnât listen to her, that hedared to talk back when sheâd come all this way to save him, Mary lashed out andslapped her son across the face with all her strength. âAbram, get in thedamn car,â she snapped as he went still. âIâm not going to argue with you.â
His eyes wide once more, he dared to shake his head. âMum,Iâm not going anywhere, this is my-â
She slapped him again, not once but twice. âGet in the damncar! This is for your own good!â As a startled cry of pain slipped past hislips, she grabbed onto his hair (that awful color) and yanked it hard as shestepped backwards. âWeâre leaving!â
âNo! Let go!â He lashed out with his arms, brought them upand out, and Mary found herself surprised both with him fighting back and withthe strength he possessed â he wasnât a young teenager anymore but a strongyoung man who was able to knock her hands free even if he lost some hair andgained a scratch along his right cheek in the process. While she stumbledbackwards, he gave her one last (hurt) look then took off running.
âAbram!â she called out as she leaned against the side ofthe car to regain her balance. âCome back here!â However, the boy had alwaysbeen fast and dashed across the green rather than near the road, effectivelypreventing her from following in the car.
Mary slammed her aching right hand onto the hood of the caras she watched Abram vanish, furious at the boy for defying her and herself formessing things up so badly.
*******
Andrew ran his right hand over the now cold, empty side ofthe bed and swallowed a sigh; his idiot just couldnât stay in bed on a Saturdaymorning, could he? Especially with the start of practice, when they had to getup early during the rest of the week and head off to the stadium to work out.
Andrew didnât even want to think about when classes beganagain, when they had to be up too damn early.
That time he didnât hold back the sigh as he sat up in thetoo-empty bed and glared across the room at a snoring, oblivious Kevin, thereason they were still on campus and not back at Columbia; the other Exyaddict should be waking up soon to go join his father and spend the day tweakinggame plans based on the last few practice sessions with the newbies (orsomething like that, Andrew hadnât paid much attention once Kevin startedbabbling).
Hmm, there was the possibility of drenching the pain in theass with ice water if he didnât wake up in timeâŚ.
Somewhat appeased with ruining someone elseâs day, Andrewhad just gotten out of bed when his phone rang; he was about to ignore it whenhe recognized Stuartâs ringtone and realized that the British bastard had tohave a good reason for calling him so early â that and Neil wasnât insight.
Never a good sign.
âWhat?â he growled as he answered the call while he bent overto grab the pair of jeans heâd left on the floor the night before as a badfeeling settled in his chest.
âIs Nathaniel there?â When Andrew scoffed at the question,Stuart cursed in a fervent manner. âFuck, you need to find him! Hedidnât answer his phone!â
âWhatâs going on?â Andrew demanded to know as he yanked onthe jeans, half-hopping over to dresser where he kept his keys. âIs it one ofhis fatherâs people?â
âNo, itâs more fucked-up than that. Maryâs alive.â
For a moment, Andrew thought that he was still asleep andhaving one hell of a messed-up dream â then he stubbed his toe against thedresser while Kevin let out a mumbled complaint before he rolled over to buryhis face in the damn fox plushie. âMary? How the- never mind, Iâll find Neiland then you explain what the hell is going on.â As long as his loverhad his phone on him â and he better have the damn thing with him â thenAndrew would find him.
âIâm on my way, be there in a few hours. Be careful,â Stuartsaid in a rush before he hung up.
Andrew sent a hasty text to Renee as he shoved his feet intohis sneakers then was out the door, busy pulling up the tracker app on his phone.To his immense relief, it showed Neil moving at a decent pace (but not toofast, so hopefully running and not bundled up in the trunk of a car) across thewest end of campus.
By the time that Andrew was in the Maserati and out on themain street, Neil more or less had gone still â at Foxesâ Donuts. His attentiondivided between the road ahead and his phone, Andrew reached the building inunder five minutes, and somehow didnât cause an accident on the way (somehow).
Due to the lack of students on campus that early in thesummer, he didnât have a problem finding a parking space at the popular eateryfor once, and was out of the car barely after it stopped. He garnished a coupleof odd looks as he entered, probably for the way he yanked the door open or thefact that he hadnât bothered to brush his hair, but all he cared about was thefigure in the hooded orange t-shirt sitting hunched over the table in the farcorner.
After quickly checking the donut and coffee shop for signsof anyone who matched Maryâs description (small, middle-aged woman), he stalkedover to Neil, who seemed to be staring into a cup of black coffee with a box ofdonuts and his phone on the table. âWhere is she?â Andrew asked as he sat downâ and felt a rush of rage overwhelm him when his boyfriend looked up.
Neilâs handsome face was swollen, bruised and scratched,reddened and purpled in such a way that Andrew knew it was only going to getworse in the next half an hour or so. His lower lip was puffy (but not splitfor once), as was his left eye, and a slightly scabbed over scratch ran downhis right cheek.
âI got you donuts,â Neil mumbled with a slight smile, theexpression strained and his eyes glazed as if he wasnât quite all there at themoment.
âIâm going to kill her,â Andrew declared in German,furious that the woman whoâd abused Neil for so many years instead ofprotecting him, whoâd let him fend for himself with murderers hot on his trail,had hurt him yet again. âWhere is she?â
âI donât⌠I donât know.â Neil went to rub at his faceand stopped just in time. âI ran and⌠I want to go home,â he told Andrewin a plaintive voice as he pushed the coffee away. âCan we just go home?â
Despite his anger, something pulsed warm and turgid insideof Andrewâs chest to hear Neil say those words. âWhy do you think Iâm here,idiot? Letâs go.â He grabbed the donuts then, carefully in case there were anyhidden injuries, gripped Neil by the right elbow to help him stand up.
He glared at anyone who glanced Neilâs way as they left, andwas mindful to check around them for signs of Mary (or anyone he thought mightbe her). âYouâll have to settle for the Tower,â he told his boyfriend as hehelped Neil into the passenger seat of the Maserati; it looked as if Neil hadjust been slapped around, judging from the way he moved â that and a bad caseof shock.
âThatâs fine,â Neil murmured as he curled up in the seat asif cold.
Oh yes, definitely a case of shock, which Andrew supposedwas understandable when oneâs mother returned from the dead like that. Evenheâd be a bit nonplussed over Tilda showing up alive â and then look forward tobeing able to kill her again, but Neil had actually cared for the abusive bitchwhoâd given birth to him.
For a moment, Andrew almost headed for the highway insteadof back to the dorms, but it would be safest for Neil to be surrounded byothers (even if they were the upperclassmen) than the two of them alone at thehouse in Columbia.
Renee, dressed in PSU sweats and her hair pulled back in amessy bun, was waiting for them at the front of the building when Andrew pulledin to the Fox Towerâs parking lot. Something dark flashed through her eyes whenshe caught sight of Neil, but all she did was give him a reassuring smile andhold the door open for the two of them (then ensured that it closed securely behindthem).
âIâll be in my room when youâre ready to talk,â she informedAndrew when they reached the third floor. âWhatever you need, Iâm here foryou.â
âStuartâs on his way,â he let her know, and noticed how Neiltwitched at that. âWeâre about to have a Hatford family reunion.â
âHmm, okay. Iâll bake some scones.â Renee gave him a curiouslook but otherwise didnât push for more of an explanation then, content to waituntil Neil was ready to talk.
Once back in their room (with Kevin still asleep), Andrewtugged Neil into the kitchen, where he put on a pot of coffee and thenmicrowaved a mug of water so he could make some tea. Once a bag was added to itto steep, he turned to his boyfriend with his hands held up.
Neil gave a slight nod and remained still while Andrewgently touched his face to examine the damage done to it, then sighed whenAndrew fetched a bag of frozen peas and tossed it to him. âUhmâŚ.â
âUse it, see if it helps with that ugly face of yours,âAndrew drawled, furious once again that someone had hurt his boyfriend. âAndtell me what the hell happened.â
âStuart called you,â Neil guessed as he held the bag againstthe left side of his face.
âA prize for you.â Andrew reached out to gently comb hisfingers through Neilâs tousled hair and frowned when that provoked a wince, yetNeil lightly grabbed his wrist to keep him from pulling his hand away so hedidnât stop. âKeep talking.â
Neil took in a deep breath as if to steady himself andslumped toward Andrew, who allowed his boyfriend to lean against him, to seekthat bit of comfort. âI realized during my run that someone was following meand thought it might be one of Ichirouâs people, so I made sure to head towardthe more populated area of campus.â That explained why Neil had been close tothe donut shop. âThen she got out of the car and IâŚ.â Neilâs breath caught inhis throat and he gave a slight shake of his head. âI remember that night soclearly, her coughing up blood, how bad she looked, the pain in her voice⌠if Ithought for one moment she could survive, I wouldnât have left her.â
âYou were a kid and in bad shape yourself,â Andrew remindedhim as he thought about the scrawny, battered kid dropped off at Wayward Burns.âAnd you were used to doing what she told you, which was to run. Did she sayanything?â
âNo, just that she would explain things later.â Neil tossedthe bag aside as he turned to face Andrew. âShe told me to go with her, toleave.â He shuddered as he wrapped his arms around Andrewâs waist. âWhen I toldher ânoâ, she started hitting me.â
âIâm going to kill her,â Andrew repeated as he hugged Neilclose to him, furious at Mary for daring to hurt her son like that but alsohimself for not being there to protect his boyfriend. âSheâs never going totouch you again.â
âDrewâŚ.â Neil pulled away just enough to frown at him. âIdonât-â
âNo,â Andrew insisted as he lightly cupped Neilâs leftcheek. âSomehow she doesnât die and the first thing she does upon seeing you isto try to drag you away from the life you fought for and then beat you? Tell methat she doesnât know itâll be a death sentence for you if you run,â he argued.âNot if Stuart knew to warn us. She had to call him first, and he would havewarned her about your deal with Ichirou.â
Neil shivered, most likely at the thought of how theMoriyama lord would react at the news of him breaking his word â it wouldnâtjust be Neil paying the price in the end, but Andrew and Stuart and probablyothers. âI wonât run,â Neil swore as his arms tightened around Andrew. âEverythingthat matters to me is here.â His expression was a mixture of pain and confusionbefore he tucked his bruised face into the crook of Andrewâs neck. âWhy wouldshe do that to me? I was so happy to see her, and then she wouldnât listen tome.â
Because she was an abusive bitch. Because she didnât see herson as someone who deserved to be treated with the utmost care and respect, butas a possession. Because it had never been about Neil (Nathaniel), but Mary.
However, all Andrew did was give his lover a kiss on theforehead then lightly push him away, hand the bag of peas over with a sternlook before he removed the tea bag and fixed a mug of coffee for himself. Afterhe picked up both mugs with one hand, he latched on to the front of Neilâs shirtthen tugged his idiot toward the bedroom. âCome on.â
Neil followed without a word, his feet shuffling along thefloor in a sure sign that he was worn out with shock. Once near their bed,Andrew set the mugs down on the nightstand then helped his boyfriend remove hisshorts before shedding his own pants and pulling back the mussed bedding soNeil could all but fall down onto the soft surface. âDrink it,â Andrew told himas he handed over the tea, mindful to ensure that Neil could hold the mug,before he crawled onto the bed himself.
Neil tucked into his left side once he was settled, and theydrank in silence while he texted Stuart to let the man know that his nephew wasmostly all right but Mary was dead as soon as Andrew found her. When Stuarttexted back for him to calm the fuck down, Andrew held out his phone to take apicture of Neilâs face and sent it to the bastard.
It was a few minutes before Stuart responded with themessage that heâd deal with his sister and for Andrew to watch over Neil. When Andrewtold him he better deal with the bitch by shoving a knife in her throat, themessage was marked âundeliveredâ, as if the man had turned off his phone.
âDonât antagonize my uncle,â Neil mumbled as he rested hishead against Andrewâs shoulder, the empty mug held between his hands.
âDonât take away my fun,â Andrew chided before he slurpedhis coffee. âNow go to sleep.â
âBossy,â Neil complained, yet he set the mug aside and slowlystretched out on the bed with his right arm draped over Andrewâs left leg as ifthe contact reassured him; Andrew stroked his fingers along his boyfriendâsbony hand and watched Neil fall asleep, exhausted from the morningâs shock.
Once the coffee was gone, he debated throwing the empty mugat a loudly snoring Kevin, but figured the asshole would make too much of afuss and wake Neil up so he took to playing on his phone instead.
Half an hour later, Kevin finally came awake with ahalf-snore, half-snuffle and sat up with his arms still wrapped around the foxplushie. His hair stuck up in all directions while he blinked several times,gaze distant as if still caught in a dream, and then he glanced at his alarmclock. âShit!â He went to get up and almost fell out of the bed. âAn-Andrew!Why didnât-â Kevin let out a yelp as a knife flew past him. âWhat!â
âBe quiet,â Andrew hissed as Neil stirred. âGo back tosleep,â he murmured as he stroked his fingers along his loverâs hair while heslowly climbed off the bed. âItâs all right.â
Something incoherent was mumbled before Neil curled into asmaller ball beneath the blankets; Kevin managed to gain his feet and approachedthe bed, his green eyes widening with surprise when he caught sight of Neilâsface. âWha-ah, right,â he finished with a whisper when Andrew went for a knife.âOkay.â
Andrew jerked his head toward the door as he fetched a pairof sweatpants to wear; after grabbing some pants of his own, Kevin followed.
They took turns using the bathroom (Andrew found someamusement in reaching it first and making Kevin wait), and both had some coffeewhile Andrew started on the donuts. âWhat happened to Neil?â Kevin asked aftera displeased look at Andrewâs belated breakfast, busy texting on his phone(probably Wymack to let him know he was running late).
âHad a run-in with a zombie,âAndrew explained after he finished a chocolate-chocolate glazed donut. WhenKevin gave him a pained look for that, he shrugged and grabbed a cream-filleddonut. âUnfortunately, it seems his motherâs not dead after all. Itâs atemporary situation, though.â As in it would be corrected as soon as he foundthe bitch.
Coffee splashed onto the floor asKevin jerked forward at the news. âWhat? Mary Wesninskiâs alive?â
âFor now,â Andrew clarifiedas he broke off a piece of the donut.
âBut-â Kevinâs hands shook as heset the mug on the counter, his expression taking on an interesting shade ofash as he wrapped his arms around his chest as if he was cold. âBut sheâsalive! He has his mother back,â he argued in an oddly wistful tone.
âNo, he doesnât,â Andrew insistedwith a slight frown. âHe has an abusive, manipulative bitch trying to worm herway back in his life and take him away from here.â He paused to throw the pieceof pastry into his mouth while Kevinâs mouth gaped open. âThat means you loseyour precious striker and the Foxesâ their new vice-captain. Do you want that?â
âNo,â Kevin responded in a quietvoice. âBut what does Neil want?â
âHe wants to stay here.â Andrewput the odd flutter in his chest down to a sudden sugar rush. âNot be draggedaway by someone who treats him like shit for daring to think for himself.â
Kevin winced upon hearing that andseemed to remember that heâd spilled coffee all over the floor since he reachedover to grab some paper towels. âShe did that to him? Really?â
âYes.â Which was why her âaliveâstatus would soon be revoked. âI suggest you have your usual disgusting deadchicken embryo shake and then toddle off to Daddyâs to spend the day thinkingup new ways to annoy us for the season.â It would be best if Kevin was out ofthe way and under Wymackâs supervision while Andrew and Renee (and he supposedStuart) handled Mary.
âWhy Neil puts up with you, I donâtfucking know,â Kevin muttered as he threw the coffee-soaked towels away.
âBecause Iâm a keeper,â Andrewinsisted as he debated which donut to eat next.
Kevinâs next words were mutteredin Japanese, which was the only reason he didnât get a half-empty mug of coffeethrown at him â that and he listened to Andrew and fixed himself a nauseatingbreakfast shake before stomping off to get ready for the day.
Once Kevin was gone (and most ofthe donuts as well), Andrew returned to the bedroom and lay down next to hisboyfriend, who stirred a little at first but settled once Andrew whispered hisname and gave a gentle squeeze to the back of his neck. Neil tucked against hischest and phone beneath the pillow, Andrew looked forward to a short nap.
He was dreaming about him and Neilback in Racine, about the small apartment and the longing which hadfilled him (had filled Aidan) when heâd believed Neil to forever be out of reachwhen the sound of Neilâs phone ringing jolted him awake; he barely avoidedNeilâs head smacking him in the chin as his boyfriend fumbled for the devicewhile he rubbed the sleep from his eyes.
âAh, Stuart?â Neil said, his voicestill thick with sleep; his face appeared even worse than earlier, now that thebruises had time to properly âdevelopâ. âOkay, do you need⌠okay. Iâll- okay.âNow he took to frowning. âSomeone will let you in.â
âIâll send Renee down to fetch the limey prick,â Andrewoffered as he fetched his own phone, only to do some frowning of his own whenhe noticed the texts from her. âLet your uncle know that thereâs been an old Forddriving around the campus.â
âYeah, thatâs what she was driving. Ow.â Neil glared at him,probably for the jab in his left side. âWhat?â
âYou couldnât mention that earlier?â
âYou didnât ask,â the idiot mumbled before he returned hisattention to his phone. âI know to be careful. Why do you want to talk to him?I can take care of myself! Oh fine, treat me like a child,â Neil spat before hetossed the phone to Andrew, who just managed to not say anything rightthen.
âKeep him away from Mary,â Stuart ordered before Andrew couldsay anything. âAnd no killing her.â
âDo you want to see what he looks like now?â Andrew ignoredthe middle finger Neil directed his way. âIâm not giving her another chance tohurt him.â
âSheâs not going to get it,â Stuart promised. âIâll deal withher, so you do your damn job and keep Nathaniel safe.â
âHmm, maybe Iâll tie him up in bed, thatâll keep him out ofthe way,â Andrew drawled he batted Neilâs hand aside. âSo much fun for me.â
âI will kill you both,â his boyfriend gritted out whileStuart made that oh-so-amusing grinding sound.
âJust so you know, I donât give a shit if she kills you,you damn runt,â the prick managed to spit out after a couple of seconds. âInfact, itâll make my day.â
âThatâs it, youâre no longer invited to the wedding,â Andrewtaunted before he hung up, right as Stuart began a garbled stream of something.Probably some comments on how wonderful Andrew was and how he so looked forwardto them officially being family.
âI hate you, I really hate you,â Neil mumbled as he gave upon trying to take back his phone and rested his forehead on Andrewâs left shoulderinstead. âDo you have any idea how difficult heâs going to be to deal with fromnow on? If I hear him bring up the âCâ word again, Iâm going to tell Kevin thatyou offered to train with the newbies, I swear it.â
Andrew gave a light tug to Neilâs still tangled hair at boththreats before he rubbed his loverâs nape. âStuart adores me.â The man hadnât threatenedto kill him in months.
Neil made a gurgling sound in the back of his throat whilehe gripped Andrewâs t-shirt between his hands. âDid you hit your head while Iwas asleep?â He leaned back enough to look up at Andrew, his gaze intentdespite his slightly swollen left eye. âDo I need to call Abby and have hercheck you out?â
âFunny.â He leaned in for a quick kiss then pushed Neilaway. âPut on some clothes, weâre about to have company.â
While his grumbling idiot went off to the bathroom, Andrew textedRenee to let her know that Stuart would be there soon, and frowned at themessage that sheâd warned the Foxes to âwatch themselvesâ because of Mary; thelast thing he needed was a bunch of busybodies butting in because they wereworried about their âdarlingâ Neil.
Case in point â the rather gibberish text from Nicky whichseemed to be a declaration of help, if he needed any, and Boydâs offer of touse his truck for âdisposalâ.
Heâd just pulled on a clean pair of jeans and a shirt whenthere was knock on the front door; surprised that Stuart had gotten there soquickly, Andrew left the bedroom, quick to shove Neil behind him when his idiotboyfriend attempted to answer the door.
âWhat? Youâre paranoid,â Neil said with a roll of his eyeswhen Andrew gave him a flat look for his lack of survival skills.
âAnd you invite people to kill you on a regular basis, so stayback,â Andrew reminded him.
âWhatever.â Neil followed, at least dressed in thesweatpants heâd taken with him into the bathroom, an eager expression on hisbruised face as if he was happy to see Stuart for some reason. Andrew bracedhimself for some disgusting fussing from the British man over his nephew andthen to be bitched at because of what Mary had done before he opened the doorâŚand found a strange woman with dark hair and a surly expression out in thehallway with a blank-faced Renee all but pressed against her back.
Between the dark gleam which spoke of âNatalieâ in Reneeâseyes and Neilâs sharp inhale (that and the way the petite woman glaredfigurative daggers at him), Andrew went out on the limb as he stepped aside(with Neil all but shoved against the wall). âIs it my birthday already? Tothink all I got you was that âhow to leave a cultâ book; Iâll have to up mygame next time, especially if you help me bury her body since a certain someonebitches so much about a little honest work.â
While Neil choked out his name, Renee gave Mary a pushforward (knife in the small of the back? Andrew so approved, especially if itwas buried in her kidney). âShe stole Sheenaâs ID when her and Jack ran out forbrunch,â Renee explained. âWhen the two came back complaining, I checked theTower and found her sneaking around.â
âSee, I would have made it a quick death if youâd killed thosetwo,â Andrew said as he pushed Neil behind him. âStay the fuck away from her,âhe told his boyfriend in German. âIâll snap her neck and lock you in thebathroom for the next monthâs practices if you get within reach of her.â
âUhm⌠she knows that language,â Neil reminded him as heslumped against the wall, his attention torn between Andrew and his mother,hands wrapped around his waist as if to keep himself from reaching foranything; Andrew grabbed his right one and tugged it toward the hem of his t-shirt,which earned him a grateful smile when Neil latched on to it for reassurance.
Meanwhile, Mary made an abortive motion as if she attemptedto lunge forward, only to be stopped by Renee. âIâll rip out your heart with mybare hands if you touch him,â she threatened with a baleful glare beforelooking at Neil, her British accent the same as the times when Neil got drunkor was alone with Andrew. âAnd really, Abram? You let this wanker treat youlike that? I thought I raised you better.â
Neil scowled at his mother while he tugged Andrew closer. âAndrewâsconcerned about me, considering within five minutes of seeing you again, I looklike this,â he motioned at his face with his left hand. âYou donât know him atall, what heâs done for me.â
âHeâs a controlling-â
âNo.â Neil didnât give Mary a chance to spew herhatred, nor did Renee, judging from the small grunt of pain which emanated fromthe crazy bitch a moment later. âYou havenât been around the last few years, hehas, and heâs largely the reason Iâm still alive,â Neil let her know whileAndrew pondered where would be the best place to kill the bitch â in thebasement or offsite somewhere? âHeâs fought for me, killed for me, even, and helistens to me. Weâre equals.â
âHe only makes you think youâre equals,â Mary argued,proving the whole ânot listening thingâ to everyone in the room. âI know histype, know how heâll make you think heâs there for you when all heâs doing istricking you into- I will rip your heart out too, you fucking slag,â shesnarled when it seemed that a certain good Christian girl had run out ofpatience.
âI told you Andrew isnât like that, and so has your son.Just because itâs not what you want to hear, doesnât make it untrue,â Reneesaid with a hint of exasperation. âJust accept that Neil is happy here withsomeone who loves and respects him.â
âSheâs never going to do that,â Andrew stated as he slippeda knife free from his left armband. âShe fucked up her life and did her best toruin Neilâs, sheâs not going to accept that he managed to get it on track onceshe was out of the way.â
âAndrew,â Neil whispered with a wince, but he didnât arguewith the statement. âMum, Iâm so happy that youâre alive, but you canât comehere, threaten Andrew and my friends, and expect me to run away with you when Iâvea life here.â
âYou shouldnât be here, you never should have stoppedrunning, never should have picked up a damn Exy racquet again,â Mary mutteredas she glared at her son. âWas it his idea?â
âGuilty as charged,â Andrew drawled as he flipped the knifeinto the air. âRunning wasnât doing him any good, and for some reason, we didnâtknow about the whole âsold to the Moriyamas to play their stupid gameâ thing sowhy not join the local Exy team, hmm?â He did some glaring of his own when Marytwitched a little at the accusation. âDonât go trying to cast blame on Neil orme, not when so much trouble could have been avoided if youâd just have toldhim why the hell you were on the run.â Well, other than the fact that sheâd marrieda psychotic bastard.
âI told him not to play Exy,â Mary muttered. âThatshould have been good enough.â
âYou also told him you were dying, so your word is obviouslyshit,â Andrew shot back.
âI will take so much pleasure in shooting you,â Mary grittedout, which prompted a cold smile from Andrew. âAbram, you need to-â
Whatever ultimatum she was about to pull, it was interruptedby a knock on the door; Andrew swore if it was Nicky coming over because he wasbored or one of the newbies looking for Neil, he was going to start on thestabbing someone sooner than expected.
It was Stuart; Andrew nearly went through with the wholestabbing thing after all, but the bastard slipped into the dorm room during theminor internal debate and so Andrew missed that important stabbing window.
âUncle Stuart!â Neil called out while the man took toswearing beneath his breath. âDid someone let you in?â
Stuart waved what looked to be a generic ID in his left handbefore he shoved it into the pocket of his grey sports coat, which he wore overa pair of jeans and a white dress shirt. âI, ah, managed something, and fuckme, Mary.â He gawked at his sister while she gazed back at him. âItâsreally you.â
âItâs about time you showed up, Stu. Deal with this uppityslag while I tend to Minyard, will you?â Mary snapped while Andrew went back toNeilâs side.
Stuart cast an apologetic look Reneeâs way, who gave him oneof her blissful smiles in return. âWalker, would you mind backing off a little?â
âThatâs not what I-â
âOf course,â Renee said over Maryâs complaints, quick toslide the knife up the sleeve of her PSU sweatshirt as she stepped away. âIhave her gun.â
âIâll take that before we leave.â Stuart was quick to yankMary, whoâd turned as if to fight with Renee for the weapon, toward him. âCalmthe hell down, will you?â
âIâm gonna beat some manners into this daft bitch,â Marysnarled as she swiped at a faintly smiling Renee.
âNo, youâre not â I told you that Neil had people watchingover him, and sheâs one of them. Now, unless you truly do want to be dead, calmthe hell down,â Stuart gritted out as he shoved his sister away. âAnd tell mewhy you thought it was a good idea to show up here, smack the shit out of yourown child and attempt to kidnap him.â
Neil shifted about as if uncomfortable at seeing his motherput on the spot like that, but Andrew grasped his right hand while he shook hishead. âThat was truth, right now,â he said in his limited Russian.
âI know,â Neil agreed, his expression a bit guiltyyet he sidled closer to Andrew as he entwined their fingers together.
âI came here to save him,â Mary said, her voice tight withanger. âTo take him away so the Moriyamas canât hurt him.â
âFor fuckâs sake,â Stuart started, a pained expression onhis face. âHeâs perfectly fine here. Youâre gonna get him killed if you takehim away.â
âYeah, Mum,â Neil called out. âI made a deal with the mainbranch years ago, everythingâs settled now. As long as I play Exy for a decentteam and they make money from it, they leave me alone.â A bit of asimplification, but that was all Mary really needed to know.
Mary whirled around to face Neil and would have come closerif not for the knife Andrew waved in her direction. âYou made a deal with them?With a bunch of mobsters? I didnât want that for you, Abram, I wanted-â
âWhat?â Neil asked, his voice harsh and expressioncold. âFor me to keep running until Dadâs people found me and killed me?â Sheflinched at that but didnât look away. âUntil one of Tetsujiâs people trackedme down and dragged me back to Edgar Allan?â He tugged at the collar of the t-shirthe wore to expose more of the damn tattoo on the left side of his neck andshoulder. âI spent two weeks there and it was enough of a hell to last alifetime, thanks, I canât imagine what it would like to be there for years.Only the fact that I belonged to the main branch and not the side one ensuredthat I walked out of there in the end.â His fingers clenched around Andrewâshand as he spoke, as he no doubt remembered all the things Riko had done to himover that one Christmas break. âThis might not be the life you wanted for me,but itâs the one I chose for myself and Iâm happy. I donât give a damn if youdonât like it, and Iâm not letting you or anyone else take it away from me.â
âAnd I didnât nearly die so you could so be some Moriyamaproperty,â Mary argued, as if she hadnât listened to her son at all. âI didnâtgive up-â
âShut up,â Andrew said as he tugged Neil closer, morebehind him since the woman had a disturbing gleam in her light brown eyes(contacts) which heâd seen too many times in Rikoâs to want Neil to be nearsuch mental instability. âNeilâs no longer paying for your poor life choices.He told you ânoâ, now respect it and fuck off.â
âHeâs my son, you shitty bastard,â Mary growled as her handsclenched into fists and Stuartâs right hand inched toward the front of hiscoat.
âBig deal,â Andrew said with all the scorn he felt for thewoman. âJust because you gave birth to him doesnât mean you can control himforever, especially now that heâs an adult. It certainly doesnât mean you canbeat the shit out of him. You fucked up when you came here making ultimatumsand raised your hand to him, so go away.â Neil shifted about but didnâtargue, didnât plead for his mother to stay, while Renee focused her attentionon Mary as if waiting to see if she would need to intervene in some manner.
Before Mary could say anything else, Stuart shoved his waybetween the two of them. âAs much fun as it is to see the two of you go at eachother, Iâve a feeling this will just drag on all day and I donât have the time.â
âSo shoot the two of them and letâs go,â Mary muttered asshe folded her arms over her chest.
âNo,â Stuart gritted out through clenched teeth as hegave his sister one hell of an annoyed look. âShut up and listen for once inyour damn life, Mary,â he snapped, much to the womanâs obvious surprise. âIkeep telling you, take Nathaniel away and itâll only fuck things up for all ofus because Ichirou Moriyama will see it as a challenge to his authority. He wonâtstop until the both of you are found and killed in a very messy manner to senda message to everyone, and he wonât stop with the two of you as he makes sure thatmessage is heard loud and clear.â Stuart motioned to himself, Andrew and Renee.
âAnd yet you work for the man,â Mary sneered, though Andrewthought it lacked some of her usual vigor.
âYeah, because it allowed the family a foothold in theStates and it finally allowed us a shot at your bastard husband,â Stuart rubbedin her face without remorse. âWhile you in that coma and then down in Mexico, ableto live your life without remembering all this shite, your family had to dealwith it.â He motioned to himself again then Neil. âWe did the best we couldwith what options we had, and now Iâm not going to let you fuck things upbecause you donât like how that turned up, even if you are my sister.â
âSo what, youâre gonna take me somewhere and put a bullet inmy head? You could do that to me?â Mary taunted her brother with growingdesperation. âAbram, you going to let him do that to your mother?â Her defiancefaltered when it was quiet in the room for several seconds. âBoth of you arebastards.â
âStuart didnât say he was going to shoot you, Mum,â Neilpointed out with a palpable weariness. âAnd I love you⌠but I canât let youhurt Andrew and the others. Go with Uncle Stuart,â he pleaded.
âIâm not going to shoot you,â Stuart assured his sister ashe rubbed the back of his neck, just as worn down as Neil by arguing with thewoman. âAt least, not in the head, so donât try my patience anymore than youalready have,â he warned her. âWeâre going to leave here before you cause anymore trouble and head back home. Will wants to see you.â
Mary twitched at that as if not pleased with the thought offacing her big brother. âDo I have any say in this?â
Something cold settled on Stuartâs face. âAfter you hurt Nathaniel?No, not really. I love you, Mary, and Iâm glad youâre alive, but right now Iâmhalf-tempted to leave you with Andrew, which might solve a good bit of problemsin the end. But you are my sister so hereâs your chance â come with me now, nomore fighting.â
âHeâs just a kid,â Mary said with the sneer back on her faceas she glanced at Andrew. âI can handle him and the slag, now that Iâm preparedfor them.â
âNo, you canât. You honestly think Iâd leave familyunprotected, after everything thatâs happened with you and that prick,Wesninski?â Something in Stuartâs voice or expression made Maryâs certaintycrumble after a couple of seconds.
Still, she tried one more time; she turned toward Neil, herexpression stern. âI came back for you, boy. Youâre going to let him take meaway after everything I did for you?â
Neilâs fingers tightened around Andrewâs once more as his bruisedface grew blank. âI think itâs best that you go, Mum. I know you tried to lookout for me,â both of them ignored Andrewâs derisive snort, âbut Iâm good now.Let Uncle Will help you out.â
Something almost soft started to come over Maryâs face for amoment, and then it hardened. âDonât come crying to me when this one breaksyour heart,â she told Neil.
âIt wonât happen,â Neil assured her. âBe safe, Mum. Safe andhappy.â
âYouâre a fool, Abram.â Mary turned her back toward Neil andtold Stuart that she was ready to leave, that there wasnât anything holding herthere anymore.
Stuart gave his sister a furious look before he came over togive Neil a quick hug. âIâll visit when Iâm back,â he promised his nephew. âTakecare until then.â While a somber Neil nodded, he gave Andrew a stern look. âWatchover him.â
âGo away,â Andrew said while he made a shooing motion withhis right hand, the knife still held in it. âYouâre an asshole, you wonât evenlet me stab her once.â
âSuch a little shit,â Stuart muttered as he held up twofingers in a rude gesture before he finally left with Mary (after retrievingthe gun from a quiet Renee). Once the door was closed behind them, Renee cameover to give Neil a sympathetic rub on the back.
âIâm sorry, that had to be difficult,â she soothed.
âI just⌠I wish she would have listened to me,â Neil said asAndrew let go of his hand so he could put the knife away then gently grasp hisboyfriendâs nape. âWhatâs the point of getting her back when she doesnât even seeme? Iâm just⌠just an object to her?â
There were times when Andrew grew frustrated with how Neilexcused the abuse his mother had inflicted upon him over the years, how he overlookedthe fact that sheâd waited too long to leave his abusive, psychotic father. Itwasnât that Neil pretended none of it had ever happened or that everything hadbeen fine, it was just that compared to the other monsters in his life (Nathan,Lola, Riko)⌠Mary had been the one whoâd tried to help him in her own fucked-upway, had hurt him the least (but still hurt him).
Had seemed to give up her life for him.
So Neil had⌠glossed over, in a way, the abuse heâd sufferedat her hands because she hadnât wanted him dead (had helped keep him alive),hadnât sold him to another person, hadnât taken sadistic pleasure in hurtinghim. However, Andrew thought that his lover might not be so willing to defendthe woman after today.
âI donât know her, but I think the problem is she feels sheknows whatâs best for you and is determined to see it through. Her intentionsare good⌠but sheâs sadly misinformed,â Renee offered with a kind smile. âItdoesnât make what sheâs doing right, though. Hopefully your uncles can help herunderstand things better so you can start anew one day.â
âMaybe, but my motherâs really stubborn. I think in her mindshe gave up so much for me yet I broke her rules.â Neilâs expression becamemulish as he gazed at Andrew. âI donât care if she feels itâs wrong, Iâm happynow which is all that matters. Maybe itâs best if she just finds her own life now,too. At least I know sheâs alive out there somewhere and isnât dead because ofme.â
âEspecially if she thinks itâs acceptable to smack youaround whenever she wants. I really will kill her if she touches you again,âAndrew promised, unwilling to allow anyone to hurt his lover.
Neil winced at that statement but didnât argue, while Reneesmiled. âI did make some scones, how about I bring them over later?â When theyboth nodded, her smile deepened. âGood. Iâll see you in a little bit.â Shewaved to them before leaving.
âSo much for a nice, quiet weekend,â Neil groaned as he wentto sit down on the couch; he raised his hands to his face before he rememberedwhy that wasnât a good idea.
âWell, I highly doubt anyone else is going to come back fromthe dead in the next forty-eight hours, so we should be good on that front,âAndrew drawled as he went to sit down next to his lover, oddly drained for somereason; it might be good to eat something soon.
Neilâs lips twitched for a couple of seconds before hesmiled. âIâll laugh if you managed to jinx us right now, you know.â Then the expressionfaded away as he tilted his head back to rest on the back of the couch. âExcepteveryone we know whoâs dead are basically psychotic assholes soâŚ.â
Andrew thought about that while he tugged on the end of hisleft armband. âAh⌠Seth?â
His boyfriend always looked cute when he wrinkled his noselike that. âOkay, not so much psychotic but very much an asshole, Iâll give youthat. You really want him to come back?â
âHell no.â
âI thought not. One exception to the rule, and not a pleasantone at that.â
âI donât know, might be fun to kill Riko again,â Andrewmused. âAlways thought his death was a bit too quick.â There should have beenmore broken bones and flayed skin involved, in his opinion.
âOh sure, you get to have all the fun and Iâm stuck diggingthe grave, Iâm willing to bet,â Neil whined as he entwined their fingerstogether, a sure sign that he was recovering from the whole âMaryâ ordeal.
âIs it me or are you becoming lazier the older you get?âAndrew asked as he rubbed his thumb along Neilâs hand.
âSays the guy who skips out on the grave digging,â Neilgrumbled while he slumped down enough to rest his head against Andrewâsshoulder.
âJust have one of the newbies do it, vice-captain. Tell âemitâs a cardio exercise or something.â
âHmm.â Neil grew contemplative at the suggestion. âHmm, thathas possibilities.â
One problem solved for the time being, Andrew enjoyed thequiet moment while it lasted (before Aaron and Nicky barged in to make surethat everything was okay, or the upperclassmen pestered them to see Neil, or something).He could only be so lucky to have another shot at Riko, but at least there wasa plan in place if it happened.
Until then, enjoy the time alone with Neil, who was going tobuy him some take-out for making up for the whole âno stabbingâ thing.
Or maybe not, as there was a knock on the door.
*******
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Come With Me.
TheDirt!NikkiSixxXFemaleReader.
Requested: Yes, by anonimous.
Can I get a Nikki (The Dirt version) one-shot? Reader's an actress and has been dating him since he was in his band London. She got her big break after starring as the final girl in a slasher movie. I thought Friday the 13th would make the most sense, because it was released 1 year before MĂśtley CrĂźe was formed. Tommy recognizes her before he recognizes Nikki. She gets cast as the final girl in A Nightmare on Elm Street and is there to soften the blow when Nikki sees Deana again and fires Doc.
1979 (Y/N)
 You could remember very well the first time you saw Nikki Sixx.
At the times his name was still Frankie Ferrana and you attended the first years of high school. Since your parents travelled a lot because of work you were the new kid in the class, you just moved to Seattle and felt out of place. People were not nice to you, they mocked you and bullied you, so the day that a dark haired boy stepped by you felt protected for the first time.
Nikki was the problematic boy of the school, the guy no one wanted to mess up with and he was helping you, a perfect stranger.
You remembered asking him why and he simply said that outcasts must stick together, since then you were inseparable. You helped him with homework and he showed you all the place in which you could hang out in the city. Your parents didnât like him, but you didnât care.
Nikki was the first person you could call friend, the one who knows all the sides of you and your secret dream: become an actress.
He was supportive of it, not like your family. You grew up in a very strict family and being an actress wasnât considered a serious job, just Nikki considered it this way.
The more you knew him the more you were drawn to him and to his magical green eyes.
You gave him your first kiss and your v-card and you didnât regret it a little bit, he was so sweet that you wondered how people at school were so scared of him.
Maybe because he wasnât just a meek victim and he bit back, maybe because there were rumors that said he made arrest his own mother. Nikki never talked about her, the only thing he said was that she was a bitch and you decided to respect his silence.
You became his girlfriend the last year of high school, you even attended the school prom with him (you had a pic of it in your wallet). When high school ended you remembered how he was by your side in the worst time of your life. Your parents wanted you to go at college, you just wanted to be an actress so everyday you fought with them. You were always worn out and Nikki was seriously worried for you.
In the end he was the one who came up with the solution.
One evening, after a day of hard fights, you were laying in your bed when you heard some weird muffled noises. Nikki was throwing little rocks at your window.
âCome with me!â he mouthed, you nodded.
You threw the necessary in a backpack and climbed down from your window, thanking God that there were a tree near enough to it.
After kissing and hugging he said the best thing of all the times: âFuck your parents, Y/N. Iâm going to L.A. because I wanna be a musician, come with me. You could be an actress, Hollywood is waiting for you.â
âNikki, I love you.â
You said after kissed him.
And so you left everything for your dream, you still treasured this memory, because you never felt so free like that summer night.
You two arrived in Los Angeles as runaways, you started to live together in a little apartment. Nikki worked here and there and you did the same, but you were happy. It was the best time of your life, you talked all night about your dreams and everything seemed so beautiful in those days.
Now everything was different and you couldnât even tell when things started to go bad between you and him. He was in a band called London, but he kept fighting with the singer and you, after a series of small roles, got the big chance of your life. You were chosen as the final girl in a slasher movie called Friday the 13rd. You thought Nikki would be happy for you, but he wasnât.
Since you got the role he was grumpy and he criticized you for every little thing you did wrong. It was not Nikki like doing it, so you understood that there were something more that you being clumsy.
And this evening you were about to confront him and made him spit the truth.
You finished to drink your tea and lighted up a cigarette.
One minute after the apartmentâs door opened and Nikki came in, you got up from the couch and approached him.
âWhy are you still awake, Y/N?
Shouldnât you work tomorrow?â
His voice was ironic.
âIâm still up because we need to talk, Nikki. Whatâs the problem?â
âWhat do you mean?â
âThereâs something bothering you and itâs not me being clumsy. Whatâs it bothering you?â
âNice to see you noticed it.â
That was the last straw, you couldnât stand anymore his sarcasm.
âOh, Nikki. Spit the fuck out. What is your fucking problem with me?
What have I done?â
âWhat you done? You accepted that fucking role without even discussing with me!â
âReally?! I never discussed my other roles with you and you didnât get mad. Why now?â
âAre you fucking stupid or are you playing the idiot?
This is not some little role, this is a big chance and you cut me out from it.â
âBecause I donât need your permission to do something, you are not my father!â
âNo, Iâm not. But Iâm your boyfriend if this means something to you.â
âI donât fucking understand!â
You screamed in frustration.
âOh, my fucking God. You will be the last girl in a horror movie, do you know what this mean?
A lot of guys jerking out thinking of you, do you think I like it?
You are my fucking girlfriend, not all Americansâ boys one!â
You were left speechless.
âYou are just jealousâŚâ
âJust? Thatâs the problem, you didnât take me in consideration!â
âYou were the one who always support me, I never thought you ended up being like my parents!â
He laughed bitterly.
âYour parents didnât want you to be an actress, Iâm okay with it, but not with this role.
Donât try this game on me, Y/N.â
âFine. Do you know what, Nikki?
Fuck you, itâs over. You are a selfish prick who wants me locked in a cage.
I donât wanna be with you anymore.â
âMe too, because you are a selfish whore.
Get your shit and go away.â
His voice was cold as ice, you held back the tears.
âSure as hell Iâll do, asshole.â
And so you lost the most important person in your life in a way you didnât even expect.
It hurt like hell, but you couldnât forgive Nikki, not his time.
You decided to not say anything on his drinking and drugs problems, but you couldnât get over this stupid jealousy.
This was your first heartbreak and it was really painful.
âŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚ.
 1982 (Nikki)
 After three years from his breakup with Y/N Nikki was still fond of her and he was still jealous.
He never watched a film in which there was her acting because then the urge to call her would have been unbearable and he couldnât afford to call her. If he wasnât so scared about feelings (thanks, mom), he would also admit that he still loved her, but he simply couldnât.
He bottled everything inside himself and just fucked random girls.
Life was still good for him.
Now he was in a band he could call his own and in which he was the most important member, he lived with his band member in an apartment on Sunset Strip.
Every weekend there was a party in their house, but at the moment he was scribbling some ideas for a new song.
After finishing it he went in Tommyâs â the drummer â room and froze. There were a big poster of Y/N as the last girl in Friday the 13rd, his eyes widened and his fist clenched. That was why he was so against that role, Tommy was the common American boy, the one who were looking for love, but in the meantime he enjoyed random sex and jerking off. Nikki was rubbed by the fact that he was jacking off on his ex girlfriend, the one that he still have feeling for.
âHey, dude! Whatâs up?â
Nikki turned around to face a smiling Tommy.
âThat posterâŚ.â
He pointed to Y/N one.
âTake it off.â
âWhat? Why?â
âJust do it.â
His voice was stern.
âWhy, Nikki?
Donât you like her?â
âI fucking her, sheâs my ex girlfriend and I donât want you to masturbate over her.â
Tommyâs eyes widened.
âI didnât knowâŚâ
He whispered.
âNow you know. Take it off.â
âOkay.â
Nikki didnât go away till Tommy removed the poster and threw away in the trash can.
âDo you still love her, man?â
âYes.â
His murmur was so low that Tommy barely heard it.
âNow⌠I have something to show you. I started to write a new song.â
Nikki wasnât ready to talk about Y/N.
Not yet.
Not even with his best friend.
âŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚ..
 1985 (Y/N)
 You were in New York City, your acting career was doing well.
After playing as the final girl in Friday the 13rd you had better roles and now you were casted as the final girl in another horror movie: A Nightmare on Elm Street
You were happy, but you never forgot Nikki, not even for a second, it was like a silent ghost who haunted your life. Maybe because you still love him, maybe because now he was famous too as MĂśtley CrĂźeâs bassist and he had millions of fans and girls willing to have sex with him.
He wasnât your boyfriend from a long time so why were you bothered by it?
You had no idea, you couldnât explain it rationally.
You were so lost in your thoughts that just when someone almost walked over you, you came back to earth. Â You were ready to insult this person to death when you saw a pair of green eyes you were able to recognize in between millions of green eyes.
They were Nikkiâs eyes and they were full of rage and pain, you could tell he was hurting, that something deep inside him was wounded.
âFrankie?â
You murmured in a low tone, the eyes widened.
âY/N?â
He was surprised but suddenly he locked you up in a hug, you were about to complain when something wet fall on your neck: Nikki was crying.
You couldnât help but hugged him back.
You stayed this way for a while, then you released him and took one of his hands in yours.
âCome with me.â
He nodded.
You went in your hotel room with him and offered him some drinks, but he refused.
âWhatâs up, Fran⌠Nikki?â
âMy manager invited my mother to visit me. We donât talk to each other till I was a kid and she came out of the blue asking if âHome Sweet Homeâ was written for her.
Sheâs the usual selfish bitch, I canât take her anymore.â
Then he looked at you.
âSorry.â
âItâs okay, Nikki. Iâm not bothered by you, feel free to talk.â
He shook his head.
âI didnât mean to apologize to you for bringing you again in my shit. I apologize because I had been n asshole when I broke up with you.â
âOh.â
âI was so jealous that everybody would see my girl half naked that I didnât even take into consideration your feelings or watched the movie. Maybe I was just jealous that you hit the big time before me, but at the time I wasnât ready to admit it. Iâm really sorry.â
âIâm sorry too. I should have talked to you before accepting that role.â
You two stayed silent for a while.
âI want someone who love me for who I am.â
He said, you got closer to him and cupped his face with your hands and kissed him.
You didnâtâ think, you just followed your instinct.
Now you were embarrassed and Nikki was surprised.
âWhat does it mean?â
âSorry, it was inappropriate.â
âIt wasnât, but why, Y/N?â
âCall me idiot, Nikki, but I still love you.â
You lowered your eyes, afraid to read a rejection in them, but he lifted up gently your chin.
âDonât be afraid of me, Y/N.â
âIâm not afraid of you, Iâm afraid that you went on with your life and stopped loving me.â
âYou are the first girl I felt in love with and there were nothing serious after you.
You know, just sex, but my heart was frozen.â
âWhat are you trying to say?â
âThat I still love and I would like to give another chance to this crazy love of ours.â
âAre you sure?â
âYes.â
And he kissed you with burning passion.
Nikki has always been unpredictable, you had no certain that tomorrow he would still want to be with you or that he was so nice just because you were there at the right time to soften the blow.
You didnât care while you were undressing him.
All you knew was that you were happy he was there.
How the fuck could you live without him for all these years?
It wasnât important.
The important thing was that something told you that tomorrow he would be still there to rebuild your relationship from the scratch.
It was a fucking good feeling.
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Show You How (M)
Touch me til I follow in love / I wanna help him / Maybe we were better alone/ I wanna show you how - The Killers âShow You Howâ
Genre: Smut/Angst
Summary: Runaway lovers lost in bliss lose their way in the city of blinding lights. Mark likes killing for a living, Taehyung misses his rainy seattle home. The honeymoon is long over, and the fuse is running short. But for who? (Mark (got7) x Taehyung (BTS), Mark x Youngjae (B.A.P.) , Kai (Exo) x Taehyung. Mafia!AU, Vegas!AU)
Warnings: Character Death, Cheating, Alcohol and Drug use.
Word Count: 4,529
Written by: Admin Jaefairy
A/N: So...this is a hella late birthday gift to my little sis, my kakao wife #2, and overall best bad bitch @kpopanddrama! Happy Birthday Skyler, youâre an awesome person and I love you very much!
Sunday, 7:34 am
The Nevada sunrise was unfamiliar, and somehow so calming. The sun burned with a fire-like intensity, waking eyes and showing sins better left in the dark. When it wasn't night, Las Vegas looked like a cheap tourist attraction from the wide window Mark gazed out every morning. Cars flew by, going in and out the city. He never went into the city during the day. Mark felt like seeing it like this, wide open and exposed, it lost much of it's magic. At night, the lights mingled with the sky. It was bright and hid all the ugly things. Mark glanced at an half empty bottle of gin near the door. That too, hid the ugly things.
Mark looked down, his round lips parting. He looked at the boy sleeping next to him. The dirty sheet covered his face, tuffs of bleached hair feathered out. His long fingers reached out, grabbing the hair gently. Mark tugged, a soft groan from the sheets broke the silence in the room for a moment. He tugged again, a head emerging from the sheets. The wide brown eyes of his bed buddy met his, a yawn escaping his mouth.
"I'm up, I'm up." The sleepy boy rubbed his eyes and sat up, smacking his mouth together some. Mark waited for him to be somewhat attentive.
 "You sure?" Mark leaned into the boy's ear, his soft voice planting warmth. The other laughed and looked at Mark with a wide smile. It was so hopeful, so bright, it could have envied the sun. For a split moment, Mark had a nasty feeling in his stomach. A sudden chaste kiss, hands lifting the younger boy into his lap and a tongue exploring salty flesh was enough to make him sink the feeling down. His tongue lapped slowly at the exposed neck, and soft moans sounded like sweet music. Mark grabbed a handful of ass, and the volume rose.
"Are you awake, Tae?"
"Uhn.." Taehyung grinded into Mark, showing Mark how aroused his tongue was making him. "Yeah, I think I'm wide awake now."
 Mark smirked before giving his neck a deep kiss. He released his ass, giving it a quick slap before pushing him off. "Great. We have a collection today. Boss wants it to be done clean."
 As he lifted himself off the bed, he saw the cute pout that graced his boyfriend's face in their mirror.
 "Do we have to go now?" Taehyung asked grabbing the long sleeve of Mark's shirt. Mark looked back, his eyes facing Tae's. Taehyung gave him that wide smile, getting on his knees and kissing Mark's lips. He broke the kiss quickly, kissing him again. Mark reciprocated, grabbing Taehyung's waist and crawling back on the bed. Morning breath and liquor was not the best combination on the tongue, but Taehyung could forgive it. Feeling Mark's lips against his own was a special brand of drug no one but him knew. Oh, how in love he was with Mark Tuan. His hands played with the older's brown hair, combing his hands through the dry strands. He made a mental note to buy him conditioner later. With his back on the bed and Mark inching his black briefs off slowly, he could have swore he hit the jackpot. His erection was released from the cloth, and Mark's lips  didn't hesitate to kiss the pink head. The pre cum moistened his lips, and he opened his mouth. Taking in Taehyung's erection, Mark took care to suck his cock slowly. The buildup, the way Taehyung's head would lean back and he'd gasp Mark's name, it drove him crazy. When he was sober, he remembered how fast the blood rushed to his cock seeing Tae like this. Coming undone by his every movement.
 "Mark..." Taehyung gasped, feeling his boyfriend's tongue lick under his cock before taking all of him again. A hand played with his balls, stimulating his body. A warmth grew in his stomach and it spread throughout. He looked down to see Mark sucking his cock with hunger, those beautiful eyes of his gazing into his own. Mark released his cock from his mouth with a 'pop', a deep moan rumbling from his chest. He gripped the cock, spitting all over the tip. Pumping and lubing up Tae's erection, his eyes never left Taehyung's. He resumed, and the buildup in Taehyung's stomach got worse. He felt himself rising.
 "Faster, please...fuck, go faster." He begged, his head leaning deeper into his pillow. Mark complied, and Tae felt his body grow hot. His arm covered his eyes and uncontrollable groans escaped his lips. He felt it rising and before he could warn Mark, he felt his cum shoot into that warm wet mouth. Mark froze, moaning with every load of cum he was fed. He swallowed, Taehyung caught his breath. The taste in his mouth made him think heaven was real. Taehyung's blissed out face made him wish it was.  A glance at the clock on their night stand and all he could see was hell.
 "Shit, we're late! Get dressed and get your fucking gun. We have to go, now. " Mark threw off his clothes and found a pair of clean jeans, a black button up. While he grabbed his silver barretta from under the bed, Taehyung was coming out of the bathroom. He wore a black suit, leather shoes and a cobalt blue tie. Taehyung was always better at presentation than Mark. Taehyung was buttoning up his jacket, watching Mark get up from the floor, gun in hand.
 "You should get ready the night before."
 "You should get in the car. " Mark answered, a frown on his face, embarrassment laced in his words.
 Taehyung nodded, giving him a smirk before heading out the hotel room. Mark looked at the disheveled room for one moment before leaving. Mark's clothes were askew on the floor, Taehyung's hung nicely in the closet. Mark left empty bottles of soda and gin around. Taehyung had his things neatly in one place near the bathroom. How did they live without killing each other, Mark would never know.
Â
Sunday, 11:49 am
The air in Nevada was stale and humid. It could never compare to the muggy, damp mornings in Seattle that Taehyung missed. He missed his family and his friends. He missed waking up to the sound of rain on his windowpane and the screams of his parents fighting downstairs. In all of the chaos, and madness, life was somewhat beautiful. Taehyung knew from a young age that even though the sun shined bright, rain clouds would always come. He took the good with the bad, and thanked god everyday he was alive.
As Mark drove them into a nearby suburb, Taehyung gazed at the dry grass. The cookie cutter houses with peeling paint seemed drab and dull for the younger boy. They pulled into a house, the dusty white mailbox in the front had faded numbers painted on the side.
 "1124 Pearl Street, Boulder City. " Mark repeated from the screen of his phone. He looked at the house for a moment, then at Taehyung. "You ready to go? Boss says he wants it clean and quick. Don't get cold feet and freak out like last time. I can't always save you."
Taehyung looked at Mark's blank face, watching how Mark kept his eyes on the front door. It's been awhile since Tae could actually read what Mark felt or what he was thinking. Some moments, he felt like he was with his best friend. Sometimes, he thought he was with a stranger. He nodded to Mark, opening the glove compartment and pulling a silencer out. He quickly screwed it to the top of his 9mm and concealed the gun. Mark left the car first, Tae following after him. The chirp of the doors locking alerted him to inhale and to be stone faced.
The two walked to the door of the terra cotta colored house. Mark knocked slowly and a shuffling sound inside grew louder. The lock clicked, and a short man answered the door. His cheeks were sunken in, his brown hair askew as he scratched his head. The look in his eyes were lost, almost as if he was in another world. He wore a dingy black shirt, and jeans that looked like they needed a few cycles in the wash. Sweat and cinnamon filled Mark's nose, and he reminded himself to stop staring and to say something.
"Are you Park Jimin?"
The young man in front of them nodded, still lost in his own mind. He scratched his neck and let the two inside. Mark followed Jimin into the living room, Taehyung making sure to go through protocol. He locked the doors, letting his feet shuffle through the dirty clothes and trash carefully. Mark and Jimin walked towards the living room, Mark sitting across from the young man. Taehyung closed any blind or curtain that he could find. He let the conversation in the room sink into his ears, he had heard this same conversation many times. Different in every situation, but the ending was the same.
"Boss man says you haven't paid him for the last two months. Says you haven't returned the supplies either. " Mark crossed his legs as he spoke, Tae inspected the room.
"Oh." Jimin's eye twitched slightly. Â Hands balled into fists, his eyes never leaving Mark's gaze.
Mark pulled his gun out, leaving it on the table. His subtle approach was what Taehyung admired. He knew Mark was annoyed. He could just shoot the boys brains out, clean up and call it a day. Honestly, their boss would enjoy that better. Mark liked the buildup, he liked watching everything unfold into a beautiful mess. He knew, and Tae knew that Jimin wouldn't leave the house alive. Mark liked a little suspense every now and then. Tae wasn't one to deny him a little fun. Â
"Look, Jimin. We're ordered to come back with whatever you haven't used up, or your body in a bag. We can make this easy, or we can make this hard. "
Taehyung's eyes stopped at a menagerie of picture frames on the wall. Family pictures, one of Jimin in a graduation outfit. He concluded this was a family home. Looking back at the disheveled state of the home, he concluded that it was once a family home. The conversation became background noise, in his periphery he could see Jimin walking out the room for a moment and coming back with a reusable shopping bag. Â
In a faded brown frame, Jimin wore a black tuxedo. He held onto a smaller girl, a corsage on her wrist. Taehyung wondered what Prom would have been like if he went. Instead he ditched and drove to the abandoned drive in theater with Mark and talked about what they would do after senior year. He got lost in the old memory. Rusty pillars, and shining stars. Empty bottles of beer and drunken kisses. A confession and lost virgintiy. Somewhere in the depths of his heart he wished he could stay in that memory. He touched the old picture of Jimin, wondering if Jimin could go back to this moment, would he.
"That's all that's left."
Jimin's words brought Taehyung back to earth, his attention going to the two men in the living room. Mark was looking into the bag, counting the drugs. Taehyung knew if Mark was counting that slow, it must be a large amount that was missing. All Tae knew was Jimin was a dealer for their boss, and he slipped off the radar recently. He looked at Jimin, tears laced in the corners of his eyes. Mark sat back down and shrugged. He looked dissatisfied, and it was probably for show.
"Well, where the other half? You were given more than that, and from what we know you didn't sell any of it. " Mark said, his eyes meeting Taehyung's for a moment. Tae got into position behind Jimin.
Jimin lifted his hands up, a half hearted laugh coming out of his mouth. "I'm not sure." The sarcasm in his voice wasn't missed, a tear falling down his cheek. He sighed, his elbows resting on his knees as his fingers interlocked each other.
"Look whatever you're gonna do, just do it. I'm tired of living."
Mark leaned his head to the side, clicking his tongue. "That's pathetic. " He looked at Tae, nodding into him. "Tae, call it in."
Tae pulled his phone out, taking the cue. He watched Jimin's shoulders shake, soft cries filling the room. He called his boss, waiting for the ring. As the first ring finished, he swiftly took his gun out and lined it up with the back of Jimin's head.
"I'm sorry Mom.." Jimin whispered. The second ring went off. Taehyung cocked the gun and pulled the trigger. Someone picked up, a sigh being heard on the other side.
"Is it done?" The familiar voice wasn't their boss, but his second hand man, Kai.
"Yes sir. " Taehyung answered. Tae was nothing but professional with the higher ups. He left conversations and small talks to Mark.
"Stiff as usual, Taehyung. Alright, clean up and bring the body with you. You got two hours. "
"Yes sir." Taehyung hung up. When he looked up from his call, Mark was pulling the car into the garage. He watched the limp body that laid on the couch lifeless. The last words he said replayed in his head. Those words weren't foreign to him, whispering them as he drifted to sleep more nights than he liked to admit. Mark walked into the room with a black bag and cleaning supplies. Tae helped him get the body in the bag, spilling as little blood as possible on the floor. Mark had no trouble looking at the dead body, but he felt the guilt grow in his stomach. Tae never looked at the faces of his kills, it was too haunting for him. Â
"You wanna clean up while I pack it in?" Taehyung asked, watching Mark slip on latex gloves. Mark nodded and grabbed a spray bottle. He didn't say anything much to Tae since this morning. Since they were working, Tae knew better than to bring up personal stuff during business. Â Mark looked as if he was in a different place, but as Taehyung dragged the body bag out the garage door, He gazed at him. Mark felt the uneasy feeling bubble in his stomach, and realized he was feeling regret.
Sunday, 12:30pm
"What are you thinking? " Taehyung asked, watching Mark drive with one hand gripping the steering wheel. The empty highway rolled out for the both of them, the stale humid air creating discomfort. Mark groaned and tilted his head, his other hand unbuttoning a button on his shirt.
"I'm thinking about the drive-in. " He murmured, a smirk growing on his face.
The empty parking lot where they still showed movies back home in Washington. It was the first place Taehyung met Mark Tuan. It was a part time job he took in the summertime. A wonderful place filled with chipped paint, friendly mosquitoes and damp dirt. In rain or shine, day or night, Mark Tuan would drive up in his busted down silver Cadillac and lean over to Taehyung, asking him for a ticket to the first movie that his eyes laid on. Sometimes he brought girls. Sometimes guys. Mostly guys. After the tickets were bought and the five or six attendees were parked, snacked up and settled, Taehyung would roll the dusty films into the projectors.
"What was the first movie we kissed at?" Tae asked, looking over at his partner. In his eyes, and his question, he was searching for some last confirmation. Some hope that he wouldn't regret ever falling for Mark Tuan.
He shrugged, his hand gripping the wheel as he took exit 6. His tongue licked his bottom lip, a sigh escaping his mouth. "Breakfast at Tiffany's."
At least he got it right. "That's right." Taehyung said, not impressed the least bit.
"What's with the pop quiz? Not everything is about you, Tae."
The indifferent tone in Mark's voice sparked a match, and Taehyung found himself yelling at him.
"Nothing is about me, Mark! You wanted to come to this hot ass town, you wanted to trust some shady guy in a black suit with a wad of cash, even if that meant killing people."
Mark's fingers grabbed the pack of red newports off the dashboard, placing it to his lips. As he drove off the exit his teeth bit down on one and threw the pack back on the dusty dashboard. The dust lingered in the air, Mark's car speeding up down the streets. He forgot about the dead man in his trunk, he tuned out Taehyung's vents. Taehyung was tired, Mark was tired. Mark felt bile growing in his throat everytime Taehyung smiled at him. In the grand scheme of things, Mark knew he was selfish. He loved Tae, and he wanted him to himself. He didn't care what Taehyung wanted. He fished a lighter out of his pocket, lit his cigarette and drove. He let Taehyung yell, slam the dashboard. Do anything to get his attention. As they drove into the parking lot of their rundown hotel room, the burning heat of his cigarette reaching his lips, He screeched to a halt. The volume in Markâs mind began to rise, his breathing steadied. As the cigarette stung his lips, spitting the butt out the window, Taehyungâs voice finally reached him.
âWhy do you love me one moment, and hate me the next? Why donât you just shoot me and give the boss two bodies, huh?â
Mark let the tense air in the car grow and suffocate the both of them. Taehyungâs breathing was heavy and erratic. His large hands trembled and he swore if Mark stayed any more quiet, heâs strangle him. Then he really wouldnât be able to talk. Instead of an answer, he unlocked the doors, throwing the car keys in Taeâs lap. Mark got out of the car, walking towards the sunset. Walking towards the city of flashing lights.
Sunday, 9:40pm
The Vegas strip was full of liars, clowns, and the wrong kind of people. As the moon rose and let the sun sleep, Mark found the closest thing to home in this city. The bright neon colors burned his eyes, but after a few swigs of Gin, he felt euphoric. The lights led him to a small bar. The brick building stood between a cigar shop and a casino, a bright yellow sign with a word he couldnât make out. Downing what was left of his small bottle, he threw the bottle on the ground, the shattering sound making him jump.
Inside the mystery bar, smoke cloaked the air. He inhaled, the familiar smell of cannabis and cigarettes relaxed him, slumping into a bar stool. The bartender walked over to him, his slightly sunken eyes twinkling as he handed Mark a martini glass.
âYou look like you need to get fucked up.â He said, his plump lips growing into a wry smile.
âJust trying to run away from the demons til the morning.â Mark murmured, nodding a thanks and downing the drink. He fisted his pocket, throwing a few hundreds on the counter. Â âIf you wanna help out Iâd appreciate you, man.â
âThe names Daehyun.â He grinned, grabbing the money and walking off. âManhattan, and keep em coming?â
âSounds good.â Mark nodded once again, his eyes wandering around the bar. Â Alternative rock music filled the air, patrons lounging in the plush seats bordering the bar, some dancing in the center. Bodies pressed against each other, sweat dripping down salty skin. The lust was as thick as the smoke. His mind drifted to a simple thought. Taehyung would find this place fun. Daehyun slid the glass gently on the table and Mark drank it down. He didnât need to think about Taehyung, not right now. The fight this afternoon was in the back of his mind. The words he really wanted to say.
I donât hate you⌠I just-
A loud laughter cut through his thoughts, and a young man ended up in the seat next to him. His raven hair was a short bob, heart shaped lips that begged to be devoured. His face was almost angelic, almost dangerous. He grinned towards Daehyung, the bartender leaning over to hear the attractive boy.
âDae~ Buy me a drink. Iâve only had six. â He mewled into Daehyunâs ear. He didnât seem the slightest bit drunk, and Mark loved a guy who could hold his liquor.
âYoungjaeâŚâ Daehyunâs plump lips curved into a smile and he leaned back. âYouâre know youâre like my brother, but Iâm not gonna enable you. Find a nice guy or girl and charm your way into one.â
Youngjae pouted, his lips looking so sweet and inviting. Before Mark could think it through he was telling Dae to give him a drink on him. It was the perfect catalyst to get Youngjaeâs attention. They exchanged pleasantries and asked what they other was doing. The two said nothing, but knew otherwise. Underneath Youngjaeâs black mesh shirt, Mark could see a bruise on his ribs. Youngjae mentioned Markâs dark rings under his eyes. When he got those, he didnât know. A few drinks later, Youngjae and Mark were thigh to thigh. Youngjae murmuring to Mark, as if he was telling him a secret.
âYou know youâre kinda cute.â He said, smirking as his eyes wandered to the exposed skin on Markâs shirt.
âYou know Iâm kinda drunk.â He replied, his toothy grin slipping into another glass of bourbon and aromatic bitters.
âWho isnât? Everyone is drunk on something. Youâre drunk on alcohol, Dae on money, Me..well.â
âOn attention.â
Markâs response broke the spell for a slight moment. The look on Youngjaeâs face was as if he was caught. As if he regretted something. It felt familiar.
Why donât you just shoot me and give the boss two bodies, huh?
His hand reached out and squeezed Youngjaeâs thigh, a shiver running down his spine as Mark bit his lip.
âCome with me and Iâll show you how drunk I am.â
Sunday 11:11pm
The brick building scratched against Youngjaeâs back as Mark crashed his lips into his dark haired angel. His hands gripped the slender waist, their tongues dancing against each others. He loved the taste of alcohol and drugs on Youngjaeâs tongue. It was an alien taste from toothpaste and caramel taste of his lover. His lips left soft kisses on Youngjaeâs cheek, trailing down to his neck. He noticed a healing scar across his neck, it was too dim in the club to actually see the details. Mark didnât want details. He disregarded it, and bit into his neck. Markâs hand skillfully unzipped Youngjaeâs jeans and slid them down with his boxers. Youngjaeâs voice was a chorus of moans and curses, his erection bouncing in the air as Markâs hands roamed his exposed skin. The softness made Mark growl, he wanted to take this beautiful thing he had found and make it suitable for this town.
âTurn around.â Mark ordered.
Youngjae, stumbling in the pool of his clothes, turned around. He bent over, stroking his erection as his ass stuck up in the air. This stranger, taking him like this, made a warmth burn in Youngjaeâs chest. He loved being used, even if he didnât admit it to himself. Mark spitted in his hand, smearing and lubing his fingers. He pressed one against his warm hole, earning a loud whine from Youngjae. His nails dug against the wall, Mark slowly entering his asshole. Inch by inch, Youngjaeâs cock twitched. His mewls made Mark chuckle deep in his throat, going faster and adding a second finger. Youngjae backed up into his fingers, the rising feeling in his stomach becoming more prominent. He wasnât new to this, and Mark welcomed the experience. He took his fingers out, smacking his cute ass. Youngjae giggled, wiggling his ass for a moment. Unzipping his pants and pulling out his cock, he lined it up against his new friend.
âBeg.â He said, rubbing his redden tip against Youngjae, coating his hole in pre cum.
âPleaseâŚplease Mr. Mark. Please fuck me. Iâm all yours, Iâm your fucking bitch. Just shove your cock inside me. Oh god I need this, I need- â a loud moan cut him off as the cock stretched his opening. Mark bit down into his lip and he inched more into him. He was so warm, and so tight. Mark missed sex. He missed fucking the ever living shit out of Taehyung. Blow jobs were nice, but it wasnât anything compared to fucking. That mop of bleached hair, the sexy groans he made.
He pulled out and shoved his cock back into Youngjae, and began thrusting into him at a moderate pace. He felt warm growing inside him, chasing his orgasm. Mark grabbed a fistful of black hair, pulling Youngjaeâs arm behind him. If he didnât cum, he wasnât going to let him.
He held onto his forearm, slamming his cock in slow harsh strokes into Youngjae. He was in utter ecstasy. One hand pulling his hair, the other pulling his arm. This was the feeling he came to the bar for. He needed to be used by someone, anyone.
Mark quickened his pace, shutting his eyes. As stars danced across his vision he released Youngjae, gently grabbing his waist as he came inside him, pumping more cum into him with every sloppy thrust. He froze, letting the boy beneath him catch his breath for a moment. As he was coming to, Mark swerved him around. With his back pressed against the wall, He grabbed a handful of Youngjaeâs erection, pumping the hard flesh. He watched Youngjaeâs tired, overspent face, his moans rising and falling. Then, a sudden warning.
âAh, fuck. Iâm gonna cum.. Mr. Mark Iâm gonna-â
It could have been the alcohol, but watching Youngjaeâs cum shoot onto his hand was mesmerizing. It was warm and opalescent. He was lost in how much was spilled, he hadnât seen that much in so long. Not since he left Washington.
Youngjae got on his knees, holding Markâs hand and licking every drop off of it.
Then the silence settled in. Youngjae got dressed quickly. He didnât have anywhere to go, but he could never keep anyone waiting. When his gaze met Markâs, he was frozen. Mark stuffed himself into his pants and patted Youngjaeâs shoulder.
âThat was fun, gotta come here more often. â He walked towards the outer alley, giving a chaste wave to his temporary friend.
Into the street, and down the strip Mark ran a hand through his hair. A sudden pain in his chest appeared. So this is what cheating felt like. Mark began to blend in more and more. Hiding more secrets, more than he could handle. But underneath the neon lights, who could care? He smirked to himself, as a sudden thought entered his mind.
Taehyung would care.
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