#and then at the end of the day I'm told that they're going to take math time away from us so we can teach more reading
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lilghostiequinni · 2 days ago
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Was Never Just You
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Main Masterlist Lando Masterlist
Pairing: Single Mom!Girlfriend!female reader x Lando Norris
Warnings: Fluffy,
Summary: Somethings just start in a crisis, but it's not always a bad thing.
Requested: NO / yes
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When you met Lando it was by complete accident.
The day started out normal and then later turned into a disaster.
Your sons, well, they wandered off.
It was the first winter vacation for the ski lodge you normally go to that they could come with, the boys were 3, having turned three the day you left for the trip.
But your mom didn't ski or snowboard and volunteered to watch them while you, your siblings, siblings-in-law, and your father had hit the slopes.
You snowboarding and racing two of your three older brothers, both also snowboarding, down one of their bigger slopes, you won, of course, maybe using some blackmail tactics, maybe.
When you got to the bottom of the slope after the fourth or fifth time, you went to see your boys and also got a warm drink.
You found your mother and your eldest brother's wife, who ended up staying behind because she wasn't feeling good, searching around the lobby; when your mom saw you, you could see the panic and fear in her eyes.
When you asked what was wrong, she told you that they and the boys were playing hide-and-seek, but they couldn't find the boys, and they had searched the whole inside of the resort.
When she told you how long she had been looking for your two sons, over an hour and a half.
You shred your winter gear faster than ever, leaving everything in the lobby, running around the hotel in just your socks, and having no shoes or slippers in the lobby to wear from leaving your boots there.
You ran through every floor calling your sons' names, "Theodore. Sebastian." You would knock on doors, holding up a photo of your two trouble twins if someone answered the door, asking if they had seen them.
You went from floor to floor and back down again.
On you, probably the third pass on the third floor, you ran into someone, expecting to feel the floor but instead feel the body of the person you ran into.
"I'm so so sorry." You apologize as you stand up, before trying to help the person you knocked over.
"It's okay," The man says as you help him stand and he takes off his hat and goggles.
"No, it's not, I'm sorry. I'm just looking for my twins, Theo and Seb. They were playing hide-in-seek with my mom and they... Well, they hid a little too good, and they have been missing for a couple hours." You explain, worrying even more when you realize the time.
"Maybe I can help. Let me change, and we will look together. Two sets of eyes are better than one, I can even get my girlfriend, she's just in this room." The man told you.
"You want to help me?" You were so distraught that you couldn't fathom that someone other than your family would help.
"Yeah, it's just kids. And I'm sure that my girlfriend will say the same. Just breathe and give me like ten minutes." He says, then goes into his room, and you start to take a few deep breaths, trying to calm your overactive mind.
Before the ten minutes are even up, you hear the door open and look up, it's a blonde woman who comes out and gives you a hoodie.
"This is one of our friends, I'm Pietra, and this is Max." She says as Max comes out of the room.
"Everyone just calls me Cookie. My boys, they're only 3." You say as you show the two a photo of them from your phone, tears in your eyes.
Max's eyes widen a little. "I think I know where your boys are."
"Really." You ask, your eyes widening.
"Yeah, I think they're downstairs with my friend, in the restaurant," Max tells you as Pietra grabs hold of your hand as MAx leads the two of you downstairs.
When you do get back downstairs and into the restaurant, you look around and then see Max pointing in a direction that you follow with your eyes and you see your boys.
"Theo! Seb!" You cry out and run toward them.
Your boys whip their heads around and yell out, "Mommy!" getting up and then running to you, not making it far from the table, though.
The friend of Max's following behind, just in case.
You fell to the ground to hug your twins, tears in your eyes as you hugged them.
"Where did you go?" You asked them.
"We was play seek with Gramam and Celi."
"Then we was hungry an fogot."
"Den Lanwo saws us and we gots food."
You knew their explanation was too little to be something for them to be missing just shy of three hours.
You must have looked in the restaurant three times.
But you just smiled at them and hugged them again, before standing up.
"Hi, thank you for looking after my sons." You say to the man who had also been at the table with them.
"It's no problem. I saw them on my way to my room from outside, and I figured that their mom would be with them soon. When I came back down for some food, I saw them close to the door looking out the window. One was trying to open the door, and I stopped them from going outside and offered food until you got here." He explained himself.
"Thank you again...."
"Lando. Norris. Lando Norris." He said as he offered his hand.
"Nice to meet you, Lando, everyone calls me Cookie." You said taking his hand.
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That's how it started.
One singular mishap that had led to the best years of your life.
The fans were skeptical at best at first, but when they seen the smile that your sons brought to Lando's face, that you brought to him.
How you helped lift the weight off his shoulders.
At the end of the 2025 season, you basically jumped over the barrier to get to Lando after he won the championship.
He picked you up and spun you around.
He had to leave to go to the podium and do other after-race debriefs and media duties.
During December, not long after the end of the season, you and Lando both post a post on Instagram with two photos, one an engagement photo, the other a pregnancy annoucement.
Just like the year before with Max, there were retirement rumors the year before.
But when Lando came back in 2026, the rumors died out.
Life continued on, and the season was one of the best for him, only after his first wins.
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A/N: First in the 100 Follower Cele Driver poll, I feel like I wanna redo this and make it longer but at the same time, most of my celebrations are usually just drabbles. But let me know if you'd want a longer fic using this idea
Tags: @poppyflower-22 @samantha-chicago @barcelonaloverf1life @tallrock35 @ellen3101 @llando4norris @mcmuppet @issi-loves-dannyric @1800-love-me @barcelonaloverf1life @scopeiguess @01rrdbull @charli123456789 @smashcrabsblog @hadids-world @amz824 @taetae-armyyyyy @watermelonslut @gigicisneros @hellothere9597
If you want to be removed from a tag list, let me know so I don't keep tagging you. If you are striked through, I don't know if you want to be tagged, but just let me know if you want me to continue or stop
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peppermintquartz · 2 days ago
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Tommy Kinard helps an older European man with incredible cheekbones on a hike. The man introduces himself as Dr Leon Fell.
Dr Fell invites him to dinner and Tommy meets Dr Fell's husband, William Gray. William has a deep scar on his cheek but Tommy can see that he used to be a real beauty.
They like him very much and have him over for dinner frequently. Dr Fell used to be a psychiatrist and William is eerily insightful. Finally they get him to open up.
One night, they share a bottle of really good wine. Tommy talks about his father, about him almost dying, about being lonely, about Gerrard, about flying. He talks about the man he loves and thinks he doesn't deserve. He talks and talks, and ends up crying afterwards.
They let him sleep over in the guest room.
--
The next day, they're gone.
--
The day after that, police find a mutilated body of an old firefighter.
Along with a note that says, in payment to the fine young firefighter who has been helpful and polite throughout our stay.
--
Two nights later, the police release photos of the suspects.
Tommy sees the images and the accompanying names. And he throws up everything he's eaten, and he doesn't stop trying to empty his stomach.
---
Buck finds Tommy alone at the police station when Athena tells him about it.
He looks shell shocked. Being questioned by the police and then the feds for an entire day is not fun, even if he went in voluntarily.
"Tommy?" Evan approaches with a wary air.
"They were so nice," Tommy says, still gazing at nothing in particular. He looks pale. "They may have fed me human meat."
Swallowing his bile, Buck sits next to him and takes his hand. "Let's go home. Athena tells me you told the detectives you've not eaten at all today."
"I don't think I can eat anything anymore."
"It's okay, you don't have to eat anything that's not cooked by me, okay? You know I won't do anything like that to you," Buck murmurs. "We won't even eat meat."
"Evan?"
"Yes?"
"Can I wake up now?" Tommy sounds so lost and confused. "These sort of things don't happen. Not in real life."
Buck kisses him on the brow. There really isn't much he can say. "I'm real," he finally manages. "I'm real. And I'm here. I'll take care of you."
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lexirosewrites · 12 hours ago
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I sent in angst on accident but I'm here to deliver the fluff as well!
Eddie starts courting Steve completely subconsciously. He's always been the kind of Alpha who is determined to push back against prescribed gender roles, especially when it comes to the idea that an Alpha always has to be with an Omega and that Omega's should be courted and treated gently while Alpha's protect and take charge. It's been the subject of more than a few of his tabletop rants, especially when the prom and homecoming seasons come around.
One way or another he starts hanging around Steve more often. He's determined, though, not to fall for a pretty scent and a pretty face and become one of those Alphas obsessed with an Omega...even if that Omega is really nice, and pretty, and smells like fresh gingerbread, and has shiny hair and a dorky laugh and nice hands and-
The point is he's not doing it! He's not!
But really, Steve can be so easily distracted sometimes. It's safer, more convenient really, to herd him along when they're at the mall or walking down Main Street. He's just making sure Steve doesn't fall into the street or knock into one of the displays at the grocery store. He's just being a decent guy.
And Steve is always whiny when he's cold. He gets all pouty when he doesn't bring a warm enough jacket because it doesn't match his outfit. Eddie needs to give him his hoodie so he stops complaining.
And the little knick-knacks and bedding Eddie brings from time to time for the Omega are just a natural reaction to seeing Steve's room. The thing is truly an abomination of the highest order and when Steve told him his mom picked it all out and wouldn't let him buy anything new for it, well he's just doing the world at large a favor by trying to remedy that whole situation. It absolutely has nothing to do with the way Steve's scent went sour when he was talking about it and the way it made him want to eat drywall.
Steve knows what Eddie is doing the entire time. He thinks it's cute how down bad his Alpha is for him without even being able to acknowledge it and he knows that at the end of the day, he's going to get what he wants. A mating bite on his neck and a pup in his belly.
(I do think Steve will have to go to drastic measures to get Eddie's head out of his ass though. Namely, flirting with one of the Alpha's at the Hideout to make Eddie jealous enough to make a move)
they’re so cute😭💕
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notmorbid · 2 days ago
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headshot.
dialogue prompts from headshot: a novel by rita bullwinkel.
you have an insanely good eye for reading people.
most people don't seem to think i'm capable of anything.
control and restraint are far more valuable than wild punches.
nobody can ever possibly know what a body is good at unless they're inside it.
i drove ___ miles to get here.
i'm going to make ___ see me.
this is a life i could live.
i'm still bad at looking in the mirror.
you need someone else in your life to tell you you're a real person.
no one will ever remember you.
the point of training is to change the outcome of the future.
my mother doesn't really look at me.
how did i end up so alone?
perhaps the future will not be like the past.
people are most scared by what makes no sense to them, but that they can't avoid.
win or lose, time will roll forward, marked by arbitrary increments.
all i want is to be the best at everything.
doesn't winning always count as winning?
being the best at something is supposed to be the dream.
i know how to build my own worlds to live in.
surely if people say it, it must be true.
it's always better to destroy something, if you can't have it.
what could be better than being whispered about when not in attendance?
i'm a wildfire.
sleeping is my all-time best coping mechanism.
you snooze like some people drink liquor.
everything has a price.
everything i want, i have to give something for.
the only thing worse than being a good girl is being a good dog.
don't you want to follow me?
everybody likes a gracious loser.
i let you win.
you look like a booger.
things were so in-between for so long, it seems impossible to understand the way things really are.
if you're slow, you'll get knocked over.
so many things in life look like one thing, but claim to be another.
this body. what a weird place to live in.
i was told it was rude to ask questions.
it's easy to leave a place that has nothing to offer.
an actor need not experience a tragedy in order to act it.
you can get out of almost anything by looking in the opposite direction.
it always takes me two days to process anything that happens.
i can tell you're not fully here with me.
i want to seem as frightening as possible.
you make me relieved to be alive.
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autisticfaun420 · 2 days ago
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My life with level 2 (part 1)
I'm making this post to share some things about my life and give an idea about what my support needs are
1. Every morning I wake up sealed in my cubby bed, an enclosed bed that keep me trapped inside so I dont wander and hurt myself or roll out and have a meltdown (common things that happen with me and regular beds). It's also soft so I don't potentially bang my head against something hard. you're probably wondering well how do I go to the bathroom at night. That brings me to my next point.
2. Every morning after opening up my cubby bed either my mom, dad, caregiver, or occasional close friend takes me to my changing station in my room and begins to change my diaper. Thats right I was NEVER able to potty train and due to EXTREME sensory issues I am unable to change myself. This means I need constant super vision as I always need someone to change me, also calm me down if meltdown, etc. I simply have no way to tell I need to go, 1 or 2, till its much too late. So yeah diapers are an all day thing not just at night.
3. I'm older then 20 and my parents are l now my legal guardians for life, and if they can't do it I have friends that will step up. I'm not sure exactly what this means legally but I take it to mean Im basically still a kid to them on like, every level. They respect my intelligence but they still set the rules. One that always kind of gets people mad but then they understand is the fact that I have child safety internet settings on my tablet and phone, I can't access most social media websites and I'm not alliowed YouTube only YouTube Kids. This is because my parents and close friends agree that these teenage boys from a nearby town were trying to make me an "lol cow", basicallly a target for online harassment and bullying and trolling me because I was special needs and active on social media. Tumblr with my parents having the username and password and log ins and they check it every day is all I get. My friends and parents show me things from TikTok and Youtube that they think i'll like so I don't miss out. Oh yeah and I would binge watch horror and terror content on youtube, something that a lot of autistic people do apparently, however I mentally can't handle it. I wake up and freak out and hit myself all night and lose sleep for a week and end up in a mental hospital cause I'm hurting myself and not sleeping. Not fun... at all. I had unrestricted internet access as a teenager and I'm glad that part of my life is over. My parents do however let me eat cannabis edibles every day so its not like they're over protective, just protective in the way I need.
4. My parents are my emotional coregulators and I rely on them heavily, a lot of the time just to know how I'm feeling. I break down emotionally frequently and if my parents or a select few of my friends aren't there to cuddle me and rub my back the right way, I FREAK out and start hitting myself cause my brain is a bit nutty I guess. I'm needy with those I love to a rediculous degree. I'm a lot better, still not great, at self soothing. Self soothing is an oxymoron for me. I kinda need to be with somebody to be told to calm down, encouraged to come out my shell, praised when I do something good, and just having a hand to hold. My mom is rubbing my back encouraging me to write this out like I said I wanted to do.
5. I need to stim, constantly. I'm always rocking, fidget toy and plushie in hand chewing on my chewing laynyard, you get the idea. I also need audio and visual stims which I get in the form of watching bright colorful little kid shows on my tablet like Blues Clues and Daniel Tiger. I think this is why people don't think I'm smart but its just who I am and what my needs are.
I think this is a good starting point, I'll make a part 2 later.
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hardly-an-escape · 21 hours ago
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Hope, Actually | Buck/Tommy | 2100 words | rated T
on the last day of Christmas, this writer gave to you... some BuckTommy holiday fluff! Buck watches Love Actually and gets an idea. tags: makeup fic, christmas, love actually, tooth rotting fluff, egregious overuse of italics
Buck gets the idea three days before Christmas.
He and Tommy have been talking again, is the thing. Trying to be friends. It's tentative and a little stilted sometimes and it's… fine. Talking only makes Buck want to jump Tommy's bones about 20% of the time, and peel his own skin off an additional 30% of the time. So that leaves 50% normal conversation, which is fine.
The fact that he's still painfully in love with Tommy is maybe a little less fine, but whatever. Can you even still be in love with a person if you never said you love them in the first place? Can you love them more? Because that's what it feels like. Every time he grabs a beer with Tommy and Chim and laughs for an evening over their latest ridiculous call, he loves him a little more. Every time they text, every time they end up at the same scene or the same bar, he falls a little harder.
But they're trying to be friends, trying to be cool; so Buck takes all that love and puts it away, smashes it down and swallows it and pushes it deep into his belly, and when he feels like it's going to overflow and turn into words he takes the excess and puts it in an imaginary box and shoves it deep inside an imaginary closet. There's probably some kind of irony there, a man taking these feelings he has for another man and putting them in a closet. Buck doesn't want to think too closely about it, to be honest.
And then three days before Christmas he's over at Maddie and Chimney's house. Jee-Yun has finally gone to bed, and they're flipping back and forth between random Christmas movies and drinking wine. Well, Buck and Chim are drinking wine, and Maddie is drinking sparkling grape juice and making a face after every other sip.
"Ooh, Love Actually!" she says excitedly as Chimney channel surfs. "Buck, have you ever seen this one?"
"No… Tommy and I were going to watch it together. I guess it doesn't matter now. He said he wanted to wait until after Thanksgiving, that's why we didn't. Before," Buck says heavily.
"I remember he told me once that it was his favorite movie," Chimney says neutrally. "That was a long time ago, though."
"Yeah, he said… he said it comes across as pretty dated. He said he probably wouldn't see it the same way if he watched for the first time now," Buck says, the words suddenly tripping over themselves to get out of his mouth. He can feel the glance his sister and her husband exchange over his head. "It's like junk food, you know, like… you don't eat a Big Mac because it's a good burger, you eat it because it's what you want, because it's the same every time and there's something comforting in that, even if it's objectively not great. Tommy said… he said he thought there are better Christmas movies, and way better rom coms, but there'll always be something kind of perfect and comforting about this one…" he trails off.
"Do you wanna skip it tonight?" Chimney asks, surprisingly gently.
"No. No, it's okay, we can watch it. I don't mind," Buck says. "But I'm going to open another bottle of wine."
"God, now that you mention it, I could kinda go for a Big Mac right now," Maddie says reflectively.
Later, a little too drunk to drive home, Buck curls up in the middle of the guest bed and lets the movie swirl aimlessly through his thoughts. Tommy was right, he thinks, about it being pretty dated – he can see how some of the stories, which might have hit romantic beats in the mid-2000s, just come off as clunky, or even creepy, 20 years later.
But Buck can also see how it got under people's skin – can guess how it got under Tommy's skin. Even in the clunky stories there's a thread running through, a bigger idea about the diversity of love, about all its imperfections, about the way it can grab hold of you and surprise you whether you're at the beginning, the middle, or the end of your own story.
There's an idea there, tipsy and unformed, about him and Tommy and about what he can do with all the love he's been packing up and hiding away like the hoodie buried at the back of his drawer that only barely smells like Tommy's sweat now. By the time he wakes up and finishes making everybody breakfast, the idea has solidified into a plan.
He has to visit two different office supply stores to get what he needs, and it takes him most of that afternoon to figure out what he wants to write, saving draft after draft in the notes app of his phone before he ever puts marker to paper. At some point he remembers to text Lucy to ask whether Tommy's on duty Christmas Eve or whether he'll be at home.
He's not on the duty roster but I don't know if he has plans, she texts back. Want I should find out?
yes please, he sends. I'm gonna do sthg stupid and i need him to be home for it.
Thank God, one of you idiots needs to figure your shit out before I'm subjected to his sad breakup playlist one more time.
he has a breakup playlist???
An hour later Lucy texts again to let Buck know that she told Tommy she had some stuff to drop off for him, and he said he wasn't planning to leave the house. So the plan is a go.
On Christmas Eve, Buck waits until after dark to drive over to Tommy's house. He's got three dozen thumbprint cookies in tins, a carefully ordered stack of poster board, and about a thousand butterflies in his stomach. This is either going to go really well, or really poorly, and he's honestly not sure which outcome to expect. But he has to do something – he has to try.
He wishes it were snowing. It's barely cool enough to need a jacket. But that's Los Angeles in the winter for you.
Tommy has this particular smile. Buck saw it pretty often when they were first together. It's not his favorite of Tommy's smiles; it's too restrained, starts out wide and then gets reined in, tamped down, as if he suddenly remembered that he's not supposed to be that happy, or not allowed to show it if he is. Buck is pretty sure it's the smile of someone who'd spent a long time being more or less punished for joy, and whatever else happens between them, he's glad that he saw it less and less over their months together.
But Buck sees that smile again when the front door swings open, when Tommy reflexively smiles big, the one that reaches his eyes, when he sees Buck on the porch – and immediately schools his face into something more reserved, more professional. Friendly, but not too friendly.
"Hey. What's up? What –" he trails off as Buck hits play on his phone and Christmas music comes from the Bluetooth speaker at his feet. He picks up his stack of poster board cards and shows Tommy the first one.
Say it's carol singers, it reads in Buck's uneven chicken scratch handwriting.
"Buck, nobody else is here," Tommy says.
Buck frowns and brandishes the sign again. Tommy's smile softens into something wistful, almost sad. "It's carol singers," he calls exaggeratedly over his shoulder to the empty house and turns back to Buck with an expectant look.
Buck flips to the next sign. I watched this movie the other day, it says. I didn't think it was that good TBH.
Sign number three: But I think I understand why people still like it so much.
Tommy crosses his arms over his chest and raises an eyebrow.
Buck flips to the fourth sign. I think it's a movie about hope. That no matter how much you fuck up there will still be a way for love to find you.
He had to write pretty small to fit all that on one sign, so he holds it up a little longer and watches something flash across Tommy's face as he reads. He waits until Tommy looks up again to go to the next card.
And now it's Christmas, it says. And at Christmas you tell the truth.
The playlist is on a rendition of "Joy to the World" that couldn't possibly be performed by anything less than a professional eight-part a cappella group. Buck flips to the next card.
You're not perfect, it reads in big letters. The "not" is underlined multiple times. Tommy laughs a little bit, and Buck doesn't think he's imagining the fact that it sounds a little wet, like maybe Tommy is choking up a little.
The next sign: (And neither am I.) We've both fucked up + I'm sure we will again. He's not happy with how this one looks. He'd tried about seventeen times on various pieces of scrap paper to get the damn ampersand right and eventually had to settle for the stupid little plus sign like a middle schooler.
But I still have hope. I have hope for love. I have hope for us. Almost to the end now.
The second-to-last card is a simple one. And… I'm hoping you have hope too. Merry Christmas Tommy.
Buck bends down and takes his time stopping the music and turning off the Bluetooth speaker; straightens up slowly, poster board clutched to his chest. He can't quite meet Tommy's eyes, too afraid of what he might see there, so he looks down at his own shoes until the toes of Tommy's house slippers shuffle into view.
Two gentle fingers tip his chin up. It's so familiar, Buck almost expects a kiss, but instead Tommy just looks at him, soft and tender and achingly open.
"Thank you, Evan," he says, and it doesn't escape Buck's notice that he was Buck when Tommy first opened the door, and he's back to being Evan now.
"It's really not a great movie, Tommy," he says, a little helplessly. "I liked the story about the dad and the kid, and the one with the naked people was pretty good, but this guy?" He shakes a sheet of poster board and it makes that little wooby wooby sound. "Total creeper. And the prime minister is an HR violation waiting to happen, and I don't know if they even have HR in England…"
He trails off, because Tommy is chuckling. Tommy is laughing at him, and his smile is big again, spreading over his face from the corners of his eyes all the way down to the cleft in his chin, and it's one of the more beautiful things Buck has ever seen.
"You're not wrong, Evan," he's saying. "I think I told you, you know, it's like junk food, you don't eat it because it's good, you eat it because it's –"
"It's what you want." They're standing close together, now. Almost close enough that Buck can feel Tommy's breath against his cheek. He can still feel the ghost of his fingertips under his chin.
He's really not sure what to do now. His plan hadn't developed this far, beyond a kind of half-baked daydream of Tommy immediately falling into his arms and passionately declaring his love, although actually neither of them is quite that kind of guy. But luckily, Tommy seems to have an idea where to go.
"Do you want to stay for a bit?" he asks. "Maybe watch a better Christmas movie? Maybe… maybe talk some things over?"
"Yes," Buck is saying before the last sentence finishes emerging from Tommy's mouth. "Yes, please. I brought you cookies. They're in the car, I couldn't – I couldn't carry them and hold the signs at the same time."
"How about I take these," Tommy says, taking the stack of posters from Buck's suddenly nerveless fingers, "and you go get the cookies, and you come inside for a while?"
"Okay," Buck says, and does that.
Just under a year later, when they're decorating for their second Christmas together, Tommy unearths the signs from a plastic tub of fake garland. Evan laughs at himself while they hang ornaments on the tree, still a little embarrassed. I can't believe I thought that would work, he says. I can't believe it did work.
I can, Tommy says, and holds up a plastic sprig of mistletoe, and reels him in for a kiss.
read on AO3 >>>
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knaveofmogadore · 5 months ago
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You ever wake up from a dream so fucked that you have to sit there for 10 minutes after waking to rewrite the ending so that you can move on with your day or are you normal
#messages from knave#i keep having these ongoing dreams about an alternate reality version of my life#mainly about my parents#like right after i lost my job i had a dream that they'd moved to another state on a whim#and just told me to either upend my entire life to move to florida with them or figure it out#and i ended up moving into a much shittier apartment before realizing 'wait i have a whole house' and moving back into my own house in NJ#and then last night i dreamed I'd visited them and spent a day with my nephews then we all went to a wrestling match#and then after almost being run over by my dad cause he started driving while i was getting into the car#we go back to their house and i take a fat nap only to wake up in the dream and discover that I've disturbed this thumbelina sized toddler#that my mom jad apparentky adopted and then completely forgot about. and we wtruggled to getbit comfortable again on its little ved#then it escaped as toddlers do and i went through a comedy of errors trying to find it only to find it seemingly plastic and lifeless#only for it to start going through rapid metamorphosis into an adult and running around my parents house#my dad and i tried to stop it from growing up becuase every transformation opened up a new pocket dimension or something#then the dream changed into something else as my brain slowly booted back up from a migraine back into reality and i woke up#but the visage of a polly pocket sized toddler being left behind in my adult sized bed really shook me for some reason#it was so small and it was on a teeny pink pillow and it had a little purple teddy it kept dropping#but now I'm thinking of the logitstics of actually raising a child you could step on and squash by accident#that must be nerve wracking like how did thumbelina make it to adulthood without being confibed to a single room or even a single table#cause my first instinct is to build a diarama on a table for them and never let them leave until they're old enough to dodge
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nero-neptune · 4 months ago
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close encounters of the third kind is an objectively good movie, but it feels sorta tragic. and i doubt thet was the intention lol. love the cinematography, love the music score, love the visual effects. that's all fun and good. but where everyone else seems to see a movie full of "wonder", it just makes me feel sad. the movie ends the way it does and it leaves me feeling bummed the fuck out.
#i'm literally eric stoltz in his version of back to the future thinking marty coming home to a changed 'better' family is Tragic and Bleak#it's why flight of the navigator was a cute movie to be as a kid. but the non-goofy parts legit freaked me out lol#like what do you Mean no time passed and now this kid's younger brother is older than him? he missed on years and it's funny but it's Sad#but at least that all works out#close encounters has the 40s pilots and an assortment of other people (young and old) from various time periods walking off that ship#what happens when they try to go home? will their families be there? will they be decades older? will they be dead?#barry's only been gone for a few days and Seems fine and his mom pretty much got him right back so they're good#but there was at least another kid walking off that ship. what about her parents? how long was she gone?? man...#like yeah the dad fucks off to space and leaves his wife and kids behind. even spielberg says he doesnt like that ending anymore#bc odds are- that guy's family is Never gonna see him again. and they'll never know what happened. they'll never be Told what happened#'dad went crazy and went missing' and that's it. that would fuck with you#this movie's like 'yeah aliens! yeah ufos! yeah the unknown! yeah science! yeah mystery! yeah the power of music'#but the people caught in the middle of all this 'wonder' w/out Seeing that 'wonder' for themselves? this would suck. it's bleak.#such a killjoy take on a classic scifi movie but i forgot how much this movie just gives me a sense of dread#it's not how the audience is meant to feel anyway!#close encounters of the third kind#rambles
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lesbiansanemi · 2 months ago
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I'm so tired
#not to come on here just to complain and feel sorry for myself especially because i know things are so much worse for so many other ppl#but as hard as i'm trying it's hard to believe things will be okay i'm trying so hard not to fall into defeatist attitudes#but fuck man. fuck. it's not even that i'm surprised or anything it's just. man#i want to curl up in a ball and just be comforted and cry and be upset but i can't do that and i have no one to do that#my worker's comp payments aren't coming through like they're supposed to and i have like ten dollars and barely any food in the apartment#my injuries aren't getting better the pain is still there even though i'm doing everything i'm supposed to#my meds aren't working but meds have NEVER worked on me and i keep hoping and praying some day i'll find one that will but i fear they won'#i have more psych testing in january but a part of me worries about doing it because if (when) i test positive for certain things it will b#on my record and considering..... the state of things i worry about what that means for me and my autonomy esp regarding anything medical#i still can't convince any doctors to take my issues that are almost CERTAINLY endometriosis seriously and again.... given the state of thi#i find it very hard to believe that will change and will in fact only get worse and i will never be able to get any kind of sterilization o#hysterectomy and if something ever ended up happening and i DID get pregnant well. it would not be good for me#i feel very alone and like i need to and must handle everything on my own but i feel like i'm about to break doing that#and then this. this. this this this this. i know it's not fair to be upset about it. like i said things are so much worse for so many other#but fuck dude. fuck man. mentally i have not been doing good recently and nothing has happened in my life to really help that recently#i want to go back to being so repressed i genuinely felt/believed i was emotionless this was not a good year for the dam to break#i told my therapist the other day that i feel like a toddler. i was so repressed and emotionless for as long as i can remember#so i never learned to deal with big ugly and overwhelming emotions. so i react as a child still learning would because i never got the#chance to learn how to manage them and FUCK MAN i feel like i'm losing it#i know it's important to do what you can and not fall into overly negative mindsets but that's not something i was good at anyways#and now it's even harder but i'm trying. fuck dude i'm trying so hard i want to be hopeful i want to do what i can#i don't want to hate everything and jump immediately to wanting to kms or destroying my whole life because what's the point#i just. holy fuck. man i need a minute to breathe and i wish i had someone physically here to hold me and tell me it's okay#but i don't have that so i'll be a big girl and sort myself out like usual and just hope i don't break yet#i'm gonna go watch anime and try and read fic to distract myself but mannnnnnnn i feel like i'm losing it#kaz rambles
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medicinemane · 5 months ago
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It's amazing how quickly you can make someone turn on your company by making a stupid and insulting move
Force me to go through the front door and scan my card when I have backdoor business that never needed a card before (what? ...I was going to somehow... sneak in and... purchase things with a borrowed card? ...which I totally can't do from the front door after scanning it?)
Or like... twitterify your layout right after your users give you a bunch of money just cause they like you, and then refuse to walk it back
...or all the other things companies do that just kinda piss people off and then they refuse to acknowledge maybe it sucks and is stupid cause "hey, the customers didn't leave"... yeah... yet
#legit; as small as it is it gives me a hint at the direction things will head and that costco will get more and more anti consumer#and I'm in minutes going from an 'I love costco; it's how I afford to eat; go get a cheap pizza'#to 'you know costco is kinda frustrating and annoying and I don't trust their ceo... I'm not sure if it's worth your time and money'#like look back and; tumblr search willing; you'll find posts of me singing costco's praises; literal free advertising#cause while it's not right for everyone; man is it so much cheaper than places like walmart#but... I legit don't know if I can recommend it anymore#for one thing; when I signed up I just spotted the members desk; walked in the backdoor up to the desk; and gave them money#now... what? you gotta ask permission? I feel like there's a chilling effect on wanting to join... at least for my socially anxious ass#and again; I just whiff this as like when games companies add DRM that breaks the game... for people who actually pay for it#they're making me suffer a pain in the ass for no reason cause someone might not be giving them money#and now that person never will give them money... and frankly... if they don't pay the membership but spend $500 how much did you lose?#but like I said; I feel it in the air; that costco will start doing more and more anti consumer stuff#...do I think it's a good idea to join up when they're gonna slowly start turning this corner?#I mentioned that quote by the founder about killing them if they raise the price of the hotdog#but... the fact the founder felt the need to say that to begin with told me something#kinda gotten the impression that the ceo is greedy as hell and wants to drain the consumer (so... a normal ceo)#and this just smacks of netflix/disney#oh... did you hear about disney killing someone with a food allergy despite being told about it multiple times like when the dish arrived?#and now disney is trying to forced arbitrate cause they had a disney+ trial in 2019#you hear about that one? cause that's a real news story; I'll find you an article if you don't believe it#anyway; this smacks of cracking down on password sharing to make up for hypothetical lost revenue#and let me tell you... if I could switch to pirating my groceries I would; I would download eggs#so this doesn't change costco fundamentally; but it does make it feel more hostile and like it doesn't trust me#it makes things feel more adversarial instead of like a partnership where they get me good prices on good things and I give money#and I just wouldn't be surprised if they start doing more things I don't like#things that make things worse... things like raising prices to increase their profit#...makes me want to... work on figuring out how to make everything myself since no company is trustworthy#they'll all turn on you in the end; the moment the wrong person takes charge they'll start to metastasis#towards the cancer of infinite profits#not saying don't go to costco... I'm saying don't get attached if you do; I think they're ready to do what every company does these days
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bardkin · 1 year ago
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feeling like you're "not disabled enough" to quit your job or at least ask for accommodations fuckin' sucks
#venty tags because i'm angry and tired of my fuckin' job. ya'll are free to skip this one if you're not in the right headspace <3#my fuckin' rsd just really got to me today.#your muscles hurt and ache & they hurt enough to be noticeable more often than not.#you expect them to Stop Fucking Hurting SIX MONTHS into having A Job and they seem to have only gotten worse.#but they don't hurt bad ''enough'' to keep you bed ridden.#you get frequent enough headaches but none that are on the level of full on migraines.#they're enough to make you feel like shit but they don't make you physically ill.#so you go in anyway - even though taking pain meds does fuck all for any of it 90% of the time.#your brain fog is Bad but you can force yourself to snap out of it long enough to get a requested task done.#you're barely able to remember how to do multi-step shit that gets done Every Fuckin' Day and thus should be seared into your brain by now.#you're demotivated and depressed but you know none of your coworkers will Get It & you go in anyway -#so you almost have a breakdown at the end of each month but you smother it until you finally get home that day.#you're always exhausted no matter how much or little you sleep or how long or short your work day Actually is -#and every day is a fuckin' slog that only gets worse the later in the week it is.#& if you say anything about how much you hurt or how tired you are...#it's either brushed off or becomes an open invitation to infantilize and/or ''jokingly bully'' you.#you get told to ''toughen up'' or ''get better sleep'' and that ''you can do it.''#ugh. fuck.#i'm in a bit of an ''extremely fucked'' situation bc my work isn't corporate. it's incredibly close-knit & family run.#small business as hell being a service dog training thing.#granted - my boss is disabled / chronically ill so she May understand if i ever say anything.#but my fuckin' coworkers are Glaringly able-bodied & neurotypical. and they're the ones who do most of the ribbing. all of the ribbing.#it's not constant but it's consistent enough that my rsd has me somewhat convinced that most of my coworkers are probably sick of me.#i frequently have intrusive imagined scenarios where i get fired & at least one person says ''good riddance'' or something like that.#i'm a scrawny depressed queer who's only kind of good at sweeping up.#and i can barely do that these days without having to sit down every handful of minutes.#it's just kind of all around fucked rn.#i can't wait to get out of here.
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figuringitoutasigoalong · 2 years ago
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My favorite thing today?
I got an email saying that someone had left a comment on a fic that said 
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presumably from a student of some sort.
Meanwhile, when I got it, I was in the middle of teaching a small group reading lesson on the sound /aw/ spelled aw, au_, al, ough, and augh and started grinning like mad prompting my kiddos to ask me why I was smiling, and it’s like
Dang. That person got me in class too. Well played, my friend. Well played.
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the-hanged-mans-ghost · 8 days ago
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vent-ish rambling in the notes ig bc I can't think and my brain is fuzzy but I have Thoughts
#As long as I can remember I've never just been 'me'.#I've always been a conglomeration of all of those that I've found solace in. those that weren't real that lessened the burden of being so.#and 've never been alone. There's always been someone there in the back of my mind listening and watching and waiting.#When the real world overstimulates and overwhelms and I shut down#They're there ready to take control#ready to lessen the load and ease the burden#and for the longest time I never really knew they existed or that they weren't 'supposed' to be there.#but when I finally did notice I spent a long time pretending they weren't there out of fear there was something wrong with me#and there was something wrong with me but it wasn't them#those around me were the problem but I couldn't do anything about that so I took it out on 'myself' instead#I ignored the signs and feelings and thoughts and experiences every time they came up#and that wasn't fair. it was never fair and I'm sorry to them for the things I did and the harm I caused#they were never the problem but I treated them like they were and I know now that that was as harmful to me as it was to them#because there shouldn't be guilt or shame in being plural or a system or an alter#they helped keep me alive through the worst of times and that's something beautiful#my therapist told me she thought it was truly amazing that my brain did something like that to keep 'me' safe#and yeah some days it's harder to deal with and it presents unique challenges#but at the end of the day we're still alive and fighting to make a better life for ourselves#and I'm grateful for them because without them we would never have made it out of that shit alive.#So thank you to everyone who kept us going but is no longer here and everyone who's here helping keep us alive.#end of ramble ig idk my brains still fuzzy but I needed to get my thoughts out into words#if anything sounds off I apologize bc I am Not in a headspace to write right now but oh well#autocorrect my beloved
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neverendingford · 11 months ago
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.
#tag talk#they're putting me on mood stabilizers cause they don't want me to kill god 😔#I'll see how I feel. I get to decide whether it works for me or not of course. feeling manic is fun but maybe not ideal#very hard to get things done when I can't slow down enough to do them. also hyperactivity fucks up my stomach so bad.#I've been listening to my insane-mood playlist for the past week which is way longer than usual#if it were only a day or so I wouldn't have said anything but it's been a while so it's significant enough to bring up#I just found out this morning I have to put in for refills myself which I was like oops cause I'm almost out#but I'm getting them refilled before I leave today. all except the estradiol cause I need Dr authorization for that so I need to see#see if I need to schedule a follow up to get that refilled or if I can just message her and request that refill#also I need a follow up to check my hormone levels they just didn't schedule me a follow up at all so I need that done#thanks tumblr for teaching me what I need to know about hrt so I can make sure my medical professionals do their jobs right#I still need to call about dental and ice needed to since November but eh. I've been brushing and flossing to put off the dentist#I think I'll do that today hopefully. it's on my list to do so we'll see if I get to it or not.#it's nice that I can put in for my refills though. my last place just refilled automatically and I told my Dr to stop prescribing trazadone#but she just kept prescribing it for my sleep even though it fucked up my sleep so I stopped taking it#but I kept picking it up cause I didn't know I could just not pick it up and get it sent back but I ended up with five bottles#and was like bro please stop giving this to me. so it's nice that I can control my refills myself#plus I got told to take my adhd meds twice a day but I'm a lightweight so I only take it once a day so I don't need a refill of that yet#the proper term for lightweight is “sensitive to medication” but let's face it I'm sensitive in general lmao#blah blah. feeling great today will prolly go home and work out to rid myself of this god-killing energy then shower then make phone calls
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pomefioredove · 5 months ago
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need overblot boys with epel, and floyd with a reader that randomly lore drops as if they're an old dad like "yeah lol my old school had a shooting once....anyways *SNOREE*" and when asked they just agree and walk away and never elaborate whatsoever💀 if you feel uncomfortable feel free to delete or ignore‼️love ya pookie💥
*ੈ✩‧₊˚ a reader with a backstory
I got u 🫡🫡
summary: wacky reader lore type of post: headcanons characters: riddle, leona, azul, floyd, jamil, vil, epel, idia, malleus additional info: romantic, reader is gender neutral, reader is yuu
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you find new ways to raise Riddle's blood pressure every day
little guy is worried enough as it is
you've already got your school work, taking care of Ramshackle, taking care of Grim, taking care of all the other freshmen, taking care of-
well... you get it
the last thing he needs is to hear another one of your stories
"oh, yeah, that's like the time I got stabbed"
"????? WHAT??"
what's entertaining to you and ADeuce is mortifying to Riddle
if you're not careful you'll end up sleeping on the floor in his room
where he can keep a close eye on you
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
you're like Leona's little court jester
and he takes you with him everywhere
it's not easy to get a genuine laugh out of him, after all
besides, what's so bad about a little dark humor? it's not like you died or anything
he knows you're a resilient little thing
and you seem to love telling him about "that time you crawled into a drainage pipe", anyway
you make him laugh; he likes you
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
Azul indulges you
his white noise machine stopped working last month and you make for excellent background ambience
so, he lets you talk yourself in circles about your school work, your friends, Grim, Grim again
and then you drop the most HEINOUS bombshells in the middle
"blah blah blah Grim, blah blah Crowley, blah blah, that one time I got lost in the woods for a day, blah blah-"
he loses his train of thought every time
now, Floyd is the complete opposite
he will hyperfocus on the most mundane details
and ignore the bombshells
will give you an, "oh, that's cool" to your ghost story but will find you the pair of socks you mentioned liking three months ago
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
Jamil is just fascinated by you
you as a person, of course
but also the fact that you're still alive
one night, he's explaining the reason he makes all of Kalim's food and you're like
"oh, yeah, I get it. I got mold poisoning once and hallucinated for a week"
?????
then you go right back to asking him about the recipe
sitting on the counter, as happy as could be
"HOW ARE YOU STILL ALIVE!!!"
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
Vil is used to this
he knows that look on your face
he will shush you with a finger to your lips before you even start
"don't tell me, I'm stressed enough as it is"
he's going to break out if you keep at it
he finds you quite... macabre
which is entertaining until he sees you going down a flight of stairs without holding onto the railing and remembers all those stories you'd told him
he's just... concerned for you, that's all
and he does NOT appreciate Epel for encouraging it
"tell us more about the time you fell down that hill into that pile of rocks, Prefect!"
:D
like a kid in a candy store
learning new Lore is like the highlight of his week
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
"talk about having a high luck stat..."
Idia is more entertained than anything
he thought these kinds of things only happened in anime, but...
...there you are
it sounds like you experience more in a single month than he has in his whole life
and you know what?
GOOD
you can keep your freaky real-world experiences!
he'll just live vicariously through you
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
poor Malleus
he's been putting so much effort into learning and blending with human culture, and now here you are with your terrifying stories
you tell him in such earnest, too
you seem so... unbothered by it
perhaps humans are less fragile than he thought?
of course, he shouldn't have underestimated you in the first place :)!
then you come over for dinner one night
"hahah, yeah, last time I was at someone's house their grandma threw a lamp at my head and I got a concussion"
Silver and Sebek both go >_>
Lilia goes <_<
and then Malleus is there like, "ah, another fascinating tale :)"
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satoruan · 11 months ago
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YOUR BIGGEST FAN — GETO SUGURU
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✧・. on vacation with your family, you discover that your biggest fan may not be a mystery after fall.
( TW ) f!reader. camgirl!reader. stepbrother!Geto (in a plot device way, no nii-chan and stuff.) unprotected sex. cream pie. phone sex. squirting. fingering. mutual masturbation. cunnilingus. deception. mentions of bullying. misunderstandings. hurt/comfort. explicit content.  
word count - > 6.6k
authors note. can you see I wasn’t creative with the username? I have a love-hate relationship with this fic because I feel like it goes from 0 to 100 real quick lmfao. This is heavily inspired by the book Eyes on Me! 
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“I bet you look handsome.” You smile at the black screen with the default profile picture floating in the middle. 
‘Nah.’ User @Sssman72  types into the chat the takes up the left half of your computer. 
“Stop! Don’t say think bad things about yourself,” You laugh, making sure your tits jiggle in the flimsy red lingerie you're wearing. “I know your handsome baby.” You reassure your favorite client. The man who alone gives you 50% of your income. He’s the one who bought you this pretty lingerie set you're wearing.  
‘You look tired babydoll...how was today?’ He types. 
“I’m fine, I promise, just had a long day, was on a few other private chats with some other customers the entire day.” You confess. In all honesty after this call you were planning to pass out and try to get a few hours of sleep before you had to fly out to your family's vacation home. Today on your live stream, you told your followers you were going on vacation for the next two weeks and wouldn't be online. You didn't plan to get on a call with @Sssman72 but he had texted you as you were getting ready to go to bed that he had a bad day and wanted to see you. Before you had a chance to protest, he spent you 500 and said it would only be 30 minutes. You gave in because first he was your biggest supporter and you wanted to be there for him in some way with all the money and gifts, he sends you and second, you didn’t mind chatting with him, you thought he was the sweetest and you struck lucky the day he joined one of your lives.  
‘I’ll let you go then, I want you to get some rest before your flight, sorry for keeping you up beautiful just needed to vent about my ass job.’ 
“I’m always here for you handsome, I'll make sure to send you those pictures you requested through the week.” 
‘Make sure you enjoy your break babydoll, don’t gotta worry about me. Goodnight.’ 
You say your goodbyes and end up falling asleep in the lingerie bought you as soon as you shut your laptop. 
— 
“How’s college y/n?” Your stepfather asks when you slide into the back seat of the car. Your mother fitting the last of your luggage into the trunk.  
“it’s fine, some of my classes are difficult but nothing I can't manage.” You answer as you buckle in. 
“Oh yeah? Thats good. You mom tells me you started a job a few months ago, how's that working out for you?”  
You tense under the small blanket you’ve thrown over yourself. 
“u-uhm yeah its good—yeah it’s been fun.” 
“I’m sorry sweetheart, I don't remember what you mother told me you did again.” He chuckles. 
“Uhm—I'm a bartender, m-my friend works there and got me a position.” You tell him the lie you've rehearsed hundreds of times. You start to sweat under the blanket. Did he buy it? What if he and your mom found out what you did? Are they planning to ambush you when you get to the house? They're going to make you drop out and chain you up in the basement when they find out. You throw the blanket off, suddenly too hot and alert. Guess that nap you were planning on taking during the drive wasn’t happening. 
“Oh, that’s fun sweetheart, I remember I bartended awhile when I was in college, got fired for stealing the alcohol though,” He laughs at the memory before turning to look at you. “You wouldn’t do that though, you’re a good girl.” 
You nod, thankful that your mom decided now to take your stepdad's attention away and get in the car. 
“Alrighty were good to!” She cheers. Your stepdad turns back around in his seat before starting the car. 
“Finally, thought we were going to get a fine parked here another minute.” 
“Oh, shut up! Y/n are you excited to go back to the vacation house? You haven’t been in years!” You mom asks as you guys pull out of the airport.  
“Yeah, I can’t wait to, I missed the hiking trails and the waterfalls. None of that in the big city.” You answer truthfully. You did miss the silence of the secluded house you vacationed at every summer since your mom married your stepdad. It was the company that you hated. As if your mom heard your thought, she says something that makes your heart drop. 
“Suguru feels the same way, we didn't even have to blackmail him to come! That boy...” 
“Suguru is coming?” You scream.  
“Coming? Sweetie, he’s already arrived this morning. I’m so excited were all together as a family again.” 
“Are you fucking serious mom? Turn the car around and bring me back to the airport!” You screech. You were not going to spend the next week with your bully of a stepbrother.  
“Y/n!” You mom gasps. 
“Sweetheart, he’s changed.” Your stepdad tells you as if that's going to make it better. 
“That’s what he wants you to think! He’s the worst human being on planet earth, please don’t make me spend the next few weeks with him, please mom,” you lean over the consul. “Please dad.” You pout at your stepfather. You know he gets weak whenever you call him dad. 
“Sweetheart...” 
“No! You aren’t sweet talking your way out of this, he’s changed. He isn't the same teenager with a chip on his shoulder, he’s matured. He even told me the reason he’s coming is to apologize and bond with you y/n.” 
“He’s lying mom! He doesn't care about me; I wouldn't be surprised if he told you that just so he could drown me in the lake. You guys own the land so nobody would find my body!” You start to tear up. You were going to jump out of the car if your parents didn't turn back around. Your stepbrother was your biggest tormentor since the day you met him. From picking on you at home to getting the girls to bully you at school. He made your life hell for four years. The day you left for college you screamed how much you hated him and told your parents that the four of you would only be in the same room again when you lay in a casket. 
“Oh, don’t cry sweetheart. Your mother is right, he’s changed, I wouldn’t have allowed him around you if he hadn’t. Give us a week and if you want to leave, I promise I'll drive you back to the airport and you’ll never have to see him again, please?” 
“No.” You cross your arms and look out the window despite knowing that they’ve won. You can’t jump out of the car now that you are on the highway, and you didn’t bring your own car to drive yourself back to the airport. 
“We’ll give you the master suite, the whole attic floor to yourself.” They bargain. You act like you’re thinking of accepting the offer. With the master suite taking up the entire third floor you could lock yourself up there and ignore Suguru. You could also film videos and even go live because the room is soundproof. You perk up at that. You could just spend your vacation on stream and chatting with @Sssman72. He’s somehow always free for you and told you that if you get bored you could call him. He’ll make up for your stepbrother’s awful behavior. 
“Fine, I’ll take the master suite.” 
— 
“Okay that's the last of your luggage, we’ll be having dinner in a few hours on the dock.” 
“Kay, thanks.”  You watch your stepdad shut the door. Once he does you release the tension in your shoulders. You lock the door before running to throw yourself onto the huge king bed. You sink down. You didn’t see Suguru when you arrived, you mom told you he was probably in town. You hope he stayed in town for the next two weeks.  
After laying it bed thinking about how much you hate Suguru with a passion you pull out your phone and open the porn app. You click on messages and open your chat with @Sssman72. 
‘Hey...I know I told you I was on vacation but I already wanna go home. You don't have to answer lol.’ You send. He immediately starts typing.  
‘Of course, I'll answer you babydoll. What’s wrong?’  Your face heats at the pet names. You wish you knew what he looked like, all he told you about himself was that he was in his twenties and worked for his father's company. You want to know more, what he looks like, what he sounds like. If the messages he sends make you sweat, you wonder what’ll happen if he spoke to them to you. In your head he’s a handsome bachelor who just so happened to find you and deem you worthy of his time and money but hell, he could be lying. He could be some old rich man in his eighties who likes young girls like all the rest of your viewers. The romantic part of you ignores that and is convinced he is who he says he is and that one day you’re going to meet in person and fall in and have a bunch of his babies. 
‘You know that stepbrother I told you about?’ 
“Mm, that asshole who bullied you?’ 
‘Yep, that asshole. Anyways I bet you won't guess who's here on vacation with me?’ 
‘Are you serious?’ 
‘Dead serious...my parents didn’t tell me until I was already trapped and now, I have to spend my vacation away with a man who hates me for no reason.’ 
‘Wow that’s crazy lol. Did your parents tell you why he chose to vacation with you if he doesn’t like you?’ 
‘Apparently he’s here to make amends...he’s probably here to kill me so he gets all the inheritance.’ 
‘Well, what if he’s really there to make amends baby?’ 
‘You should've heard the groan I just let out. I can’t believe you’re on his side babe. When I tell you that he too evil for that I mean it.’ 
‘Hey, you know I'm always on your side babydoll, I'm just giving you a man’s perspective on it. Maybe he realized he’s fucked up and he feels back so he wants to apologize for all the wrong he caused you’ 
‘Yea well from a women's perspective he’s an asshole who doesn’t care about anyone else but himself!’ 
‘Don’t say the baby...hypothetically what would he have to do to get you to forgive him?’ 
‘Hypothetically he's going to have to get on his knees and beg for my forgiveness every time he sees me until I deem, he's forgiven. And he’s also gonna have to send every dollar in his bank account to me AND be my slave for the rest of his life...hypothetically.’ 
‘Lol you never know babydoll, he just might be willing to do anything for your forgiveness. I know I would.’ 
‘That’s because you’re perfect and care about my feelings...now I'm gonna go get some sleep before having to eat with the devil. Pray he doesn’t poison me and I survive the night.’ 
— 
You sit at the dinning room table waiting for Suguru. Of course, he’s late, he doesn’t care about anyone's time but his. You say so to your parents. 
“Y/n stop being so harsh and give him a chance please.” You roll your eyes and go back to scrolling on social media.  
“Sorry I'm late.” You jump at the deep voice before whipping your head to the left where your stepbrother stands looking so...so different. 
“Suguru! No need to apologize! Come sit.” Your mother points to the empty seat opposite you. Suguru glances at you and smiles before walking to the seat. You gasp. You don’t think you’ve ever seen him smile at you or anyone else. Actually, you know he hasn’t smiled at anyone, he was know for being so stoic. You watch intensely as he pulls out the chair and sits. He looks like a different man, his hair is long, down past his shoulders, the black shirt he's wearing stretches around a huge chest. He looks like he spends half his day in the gym. And those eyes—those eyes that always had heavy eyebags and glared at everyone that looked his way, look at you with gentle look you can’t place. They even crease with the smile that he’s wearing. Your eyes widen, he has a fucking dimple. He looks like a gentleman, he looks handsome. You can't stop staring at his smile. 
“Y/n? You alright?” You Stepdad breaks through the haze you were in. You look at your parents and back to Suguru who all have concerned expressions on their faces.  You feel your entire body heat in embarrassment.  
‘Uhm—yea I'm fine.” You look at your parents, refusing to look back at that smile.  Suguru has different plans. 
“Hey y/n, it’s been a long time yeah?” Suguru says in that deep voice that has your heart beating faster.  Out the corner of your eye you watch as Suguru reaches over the food, holding his hand out. Does he really think you’re about to give him a damn handshake?  
...Are you seriously thinking about shaking that huge hand? No, you won’t. 
You purse your lips and cross your arms over your chest. You swear you see him glance down at your cleavage but the next second, he's holding eye contact. You blink and look away with a ‘hmm’. He lowers his hand.  
“Alright guys let's eat, okay?” You mom breaks the tension. Everyone grabs their share, and you eat in silence for a while, nobody brave enough to speak and you simmering with anger at Suguru. You throw glare at him every time you look up from your plate which happens more times than you’d admit.  
“You got something there.” Suguru points the sharp end of the fork at you. 
“What?” You ask. 
“There,” He grabs his napkin and starts to reach for you. You tense suddenly locked in place. Suguru brings the napkin to the corner of your mouth and wipes it. “There you go.” 
You stare at him like he's grown three heads. Maybe he’s dying and wants to make amends? Why else would he be treating you like this. Maybe someone took over his body? That has to be it. 
“Uh thanks?” You mummer, unsure what to say. 
“You're welcome little sis.” You choke on your spit. What the hell did he just call you!? He must be messing with you; you’re suddenly filled with rage. You glare at him, hoping he disintegrates with the sheer force of your stare. 
“You’ve grown up.” Suguru says after another blinking contest, you lost. 
“Yea, have you?” You snarl. He stops smiling. 
“I have,” he says seriously, setting his fork down. “I want to talk about—” 
“I don’t care.” 
“Please—” 
“No!” You slam your hand on the table, and he goes silent. You’re overcome with guilt before you remember that he bullied you for a year, that he told the entire school to bully you after he graduated. Fuck him. 
— 
You slam the door the door of your room speed walking to the bathroom. You strip your clothes before turning on the tub. You finally breathe when you settle into the scolding hot water. You needed to wash his gaze, his touch, off your body. The entire dinner after your conversation was awkward, your parents didn't really speak, and you refused to glance back up at Suguru who wouldn't stop staring.  
You hated him. You hated him. You—you can’t bring yourself to hate him. For some unknown reason you can’t bring yourself to hate him despite everything he's put you through. Why? You shake your head. You don’t want to think of Suguru while you're trying to relax. You phone dings. You pick up and a smile replaces your frown. @Sssman72. 
‘How are you babydoll, you alive?’ 
‘Yes, wish I wasn’t though.’ 
‘Why what happened during dinner?’ You sigh and send him voice message detailing everything that happened. 
‘Oh wow.’ 
‘I know.’ 
‘You gonna give him a chance to explain?’ 
‘I don’t know I don’t want to but also, I want to hear his explanation...can we call I really don't want to type all of this out?’  
‘Course, give me a second. I'll call you.’ You wait a few minutes before you hear the familiar ring. 
“Hi handsome.” you smile at the blank profile. Right now, you’d do anything to see him, to hear him comfort you, to be in his arms. He could be the ugliest man in the world, you wouldn’t care. 
‘HI beautiful. Talk to me.’ He types into the chat box. 
“I don't know. like I said I want to hear him out but also, I don't want to hear it because what it it’s bad, what if it doesn’t excuse it? But also, what if it does and I feel like shit for being mean back—it's just so stressful.” 
‘I know babydoll. I wish I could be there right now and hold you. I would do anything to take that hurt away. I'm sorry. I’m so fucking sorry.’ 
“Stop, don’t apologize you didn’t do anything. If anything, I should apologize for using you as a therapist when you paid to see me naked.” You laugh. 
‘Beautiful girl—I would rather pay to hear all your problems and be able to comfort you than see you naked again.’ 
“Wow you don’t want to see me naked, I'm hurt. Just kidding, thank you for saying that handsome.” You feel your heart skip a beat at his message. Maybe you can convince him to turn his camera on tonight. 
“I kinda wanna take my mind off everything right now.” You murmur into the phone before turning on your camera. You hold it above you and smile so he can see everything.  
‘So, fucking beautiful, prettiest girl in the world. You gonna give me a show?’ 
“hm,” You use your free hand to tap your chin. “Only if you do something for me.” 
‘And what is that?’ 
‘Can you turn your camera on? And before you say no, you don’ have to show your face—maybe you can just show your dick or something else. We can masturbate on the phone, please handsome please.” You whine giving him your best puppy face. You watch as the chat bubbles disappear and reappear. You’re about to back out but all the sudden you’re looking at a dim lit room and a huge cock between a big hand. Your eyes widen and the sight. 
"Y-you probably won’t be able to type and jack off at the same time” You suck in a breath. Please turn your audio on please... 
‘I’m gonna turn my audio on but I won’t talk, okay? Think you can get off on my moans babydoll?’  
You nod. 
‘Good girl now show me that pretty pussy, make it squirt for me.’ 
You lift yourself up to sit on the corner of the tub, propping one leg on tub and spreading the other that rests in the water. You flip the camera so your mystery man can watch you finger yourself. You hear him groan and spit onto his hand. 
You moan softly at the sound, teasing your entrance. You wish he was talking to through it, but you’ll settle for this for now. One day... 
“Mmm, wish you were the one fingering me right now,” You circle your clit before gliding your fingers out your cunt. 
“Wish you were here, holding me n' fucking me.” You curl your fingers into your g-spot and moan. You look back at your phone, watching your stranger play with the tip of his long cock. It looks so big compared to his hand, you know you’ll struggle to take it. Your pussy clenches around your small fingers that do close to nothing compared to your dildos at home.  
“Wan��� your cock in me so bad, it looks so big you’ll have to force me to take it, you’ll have to hold me down and make me take it.” You cry out. You watch as he squeezes his hand up and down his cock. It looks painful. He grunts louder. 
“M’gonna cum for you handsome, m’gonna give you what you want and make a mess,” You speed up your fingers to match how fast he slides his fist up and his cock. You moan louder, thankful that you got the suite and aren’t in the room next to your stepbrothers, how embarrassing it would be if he could hear you pleasuring yourself.  
You clench harder around your fingers. Your stranger starts to grunt and groan louder. You shiver at his deep voice on the edge of cumming. 
“Please please let me cum please! Can I come for you please?” You cry, your pussy starts to squelch, spurts of liquid coming out. 
“Yes, cum for me.” Your mystery man groans in an all too familiar voice but before you have time to think about it, you’re squirting, the grip on your phone loosening and falling into the water. 
“N-no!” 
— 
“Yes, this phone is done for, your mother and I are heading into town we can try to find a company that sells phone, but you know how small towns like this are.” You stepdad stares at your phone that’s been sitting in a container full of rice since last night.  
“Fuck, I need it for work! What am I going to do?” You look up at him in distress. 
“What do you need your phone for bartending?” He looks down at you incredulously. 
“My boss is sending me some important email and I didn't bring my computer.” You lie. 
“Well, you can use Suguru’s laptop, I saw him using it this morning in the sitting room. Think he left it there before he went on his run.” Your stepdad points down the hall as your mother rounds the corner.  
“Ready to go honey?” She asks your stepdad. 
“Coming! Use Suguru laptop to check your email, if we come back and you haven’t got the email you can use my phone. Bye! Have fun and be nice!” Your stepdad waves before following your mother. You wave back. 
 Of course, you had to use Suguru’s laptop. Maybe you can just log in, tell your stranger that you’re okay and that you won’t be able to contact him until you get a new phone and then delete the history before Suguru comes back from his run. It’ll only take a few minutes...you hope he doesn’t a password.  
You run to the sitting room, but you don’t see a laptop anywhere. Dammit, he always has to make things hard for you. You walk up the round staircase and down the hall until you're standing in front of Suguru’s room. You look around, as if Suguru's gonna pop up out of nowhere and attack you from going into his room. You shake the thought off and open his door. You stop and stare at the bed, you feel like you've seen that duvet. You chalk it up to a bunch of man having the same bedding before turning to scan the room for a laptop. You quickly spot the laptop on his desk and run to it. You sigh in relief when it opens to the last tab he had opened. Thank you Suguru for not caring about who gets into your shit. You click new tab and start to type in the name of the website you use before you freeze.  
You only need to type in three letters before the website popped up in top hits. You stop breathing. No... He couldn’t know what you do. Is that why he came here? Was he going to expose you to your parents? Was he acting nice to butter you up before crushing you? Your vision starts to blur. All boys watch porn, maybe he just happens to watch porn on the same website you film on. You can block your account from him so that he never finds you. You swallow before clicking the tab. You shakily move they pointer over to the search bar before you spot something in the left corner that makes you dizzy.  
Right where the username of the viewer is supposed to be is the username @Sssman72. Your heart stops and you feel wetness hit your hands. This can’t be real. You move to chat and cry out when you see your username. The last text he sent was asking what happened. No—this is a dream; you’re going to wake up and this is going to be a bad nightmare. You refuse to believe the man you’ve been slowly falling in love with over the last six months is your stepbrother, your bully. The man you confessed all your darkest secrets is the man who never showed you an ounce of kindness. Is this a part of his master plan? Is he going to blackmail you and hold all the nudes you’ve sent him and all the secrets you’ve told him over your head. You’re going to become his slave, doing whatever he wants of you until you die. You curl into yourself and cry harder at the thought.  
“Y/n? What are you do—” Suguru stops when he sees what's on the screen. “Let me explain please baby.” He reaches out to touch your shoulder. You flinch away from his touch.  
“D-don’t call me that,” You sob staring at him with such heartbreak in your eyes he wants to drop and beg for your forgiveness. “You-you, it was you the whole time.” Your voice breaks. 
Suguru nods slowly trying to reach out for you again. You take a few steps away. “Was this some masterplan to hold me under your thumb for the rest of my life!?” You scream at him. 
He’s grateful your parents went out of town; this would be an absolute shitshow if they were here.  
“No babydoll—” 
“I said don’t call me that you asshole! Stop pretending. I hate you Suguru! You win okay, you win!” You tell him before you run out of his room. He curses before running after you, you run up that stairs and into the suite but before you can shut the door Suguru shoves it open. You drop to your knees to pull your suitcase from under your bed. 
“Please listen to me y/n. I wasn’t faking—stop packing and let me explain.” Suguru pleads as he watches you throw your clothes into your suitcase. 
“Y/n, baby, please listen to me please” He grabs your arm, and you try to fight him, but he pulls you down onto the bed with him. He hugs you around the waist and you push in this chest trying to break free. His heart aches. He hates seeing you hurt, he hates that he was the one who made you cry like this. He hates that you only associate him with the version of himself that he created to stop anyone from seeing what he was truly feeling. He hates that you won’t accept the real version of him now that you know it was him. He holds you tighter as you scream and cry. He whispers sweet nothings as you whisper how much you hate him. At some point you stop fighting and wrapping your arms around his neck. You sniffle into his neck, and he rubs your backs and rocks you.  
“Why?” You ask hoarsely after all the anger leaves your body. Now you feel numb, like you're watching your life from a third perspective.   
“I never hated you, I never lied, and I never planned to blackmail you—I know you don’t believe me baby but everything I've ever told you on that app was real. Everything I feel for you is real.”   You pull your face out of his neck and stare up at him. You don’t believe him. 
“I have never hated you y/n. I swear it. I hated the fact that my father replaced my mother with yours not even a year after she died. Baby, I never fucking hated you. I was just a teenager who didn’t know how to express my emotions so I took them out of the person I knew I could hurt the most. It was bad I know; I feel like shit to this day. When I graduated and got away from my father, I realized how bad I was to you, and I got into therapy. I wanted to be better for myself, for you, for everyone around me. I didn’t know that the bullying continued when I left. I didn’t know how bad people had taken it until that day I came back home. When you told me off about it, I was so confused. I’m so fucking sorry. I want to reach out and apologize for everything and the day I planned to do it Satoru—my best friend, you remember him—well he sent me the link to your account and so I made an account and it all just spiralized out of control after that. I was too embarrassed to tell you it was me and then we started to form a connection, a real connection, and I didn’t want our conversations to end so—fuck I'm sorry. Everything I told you; I meant it. I fucking meant every word.”  
You sit there stunned, trying to comprehend everything he said. You never knew about his mother. You thought she had passed away long before your mom and his dad had met. But you remember when your stranger told you that. God, you remember when your not so mystery man told you about his family the seemed so familiar to yours. And he didn’t tell all those people to bully you after he left? Did he mean every word? Every word of affirmation he gave you. Those times when he told you that you were capable of being loved and that you were going to find someone who would love every part of you, the good and bad. Was that the same Suguru? You try to wrap your mind around the fact that the man you love is your stepbrother. 
“I know it’s a lot of information.” 
“It is.” 
“Do you believe me?” He looks at you with furrowed brows. You do. Despite everything you find yourself nodding. He sighs and you feel the tension release from his shoulders that your arms are wrapped around. You suddenly realize the position you two are in and feel your face heat. Your arms are wrapped around his neck and your legs are on either side of his thick thighs his cock, the cock that you saw last night, is right underneath you, if you lower yourself an inch, you’d be sitting on it.  
Suguru grips your waist with one hand, the other cupping the right side of your face. You look up at him and sniffle. He leans down until your foreheads are touching.  
“If you give me achance, I'll treat you like the queen you are. I’ll love you the way you’re meant to be loved. One chance is all I ask for.” He mummers rubbing your noses together.  
You hesitate, one part of you wants to run away with him because he’s the man you’ve wanted for the last six months. The other part of you wants to run away from him, he’s your stepbrother, he lied, and you don't know if he would’ve ever told you the truth. But isn’t that what he came here to do? Can you blame a little boy for being mad at the people who replaced his mother?  
You give him his answer by grabbind his neck and push his lips towards you. If this does go to hell at least you’ll have a story to tell your feature children.  
Suguru kisses back before standing and pulling you off him. “What—” 
“You said you wanted me on my knees, didn't you? I’m ready to serve you in any way you want. I can have my savings transferred to your account by tomorrow night.” He says as he drops to his knees. You stare at him with wide eyes as he holds your legs and starts kissing from knee to right where your pussy starts.  
“Suguru—” 
“Shh babydoll let me take care of my girl, show her how sorry I am for hurting her.” He mummers before dropping your leg and picking up the next one. He repeats this a few more times before finally asking you to lift your hips so he can pull your leggings and panties off. Suguru throws your pants behind him before standing up to pull your tank top off. You reach behind to unbuckle your bra and toss it on the floor with your other clothes. Suguru chuckles, reaching up to kiss all over your face. 
“Take your clothes off too Sugu.” You giggle, reaching for his sweatpants. You get a firm grip and yank them down. His thick cock bounces out. Your mouth goes slack. The phone call didn’t do it justice. It somehow looks bigger than before and if you weren’t wet before, you are now. That thing is going to be inside you soon.  
“Like what you see beautiful?” You nod dumbly as you watch Suguru step out of his pants and take his shirt off with one hand. He’s so fucking sexy.  
He drops back down to his knees and pulls you until your ass is hanging off the bed. “Lay down and let me please you.”  You comply and watch as Suguru lifts your legs up and buries his face in your cunt. Your hands fly down to his long shiny hair. 
“Suguru!” You moan as he licks you from asshole to clit. He sucks on your clit before biting both lips. Your pussy clenches. “Feels s’good Sugu!” You grind down on his talented tongue. Suguru hums into your clit before setting one of you thighs in his shoulder and bringing his fingers to your entrance. He teases you, only pushing his fingers into the joint before taking them out. You cry out in frustration before pulling on his long hair when he finally slides two big fingers into you. 
Yours definitely don't compare to his long thick ones. Your back arches off the bed as Suguru fingers jackhammer into you all the while his mouth sucks on your clit.  
“S’good Sugu! Don’t stop!” You scream letting go of hair with one hand to cover your loud mouth.  
“Don’t hide those sweet moans from me babydoll. If you want my cock, you’ll let me hear you scream my name as you cum on my fingers and mouth.” 
You bring you hand back to hair and grind hard as you get closer and closer to orgasm.  
“Gonna cum! M’gonna come!” You cry, as you release all over Suguru's face. He moans and sucks even harder before adding another finger. You cry at the sudden intrusion. It doesn't take long before you’re coming all over again, this time liquid shooting out of you and onto Sugu’s chest.  
“Yes baby, that's it—what a good girl,” He praises as he slurps up all your juices. “Such a fucking good gril f’me.” 
“Gimme a kiss.” You say between heavy breaths.  
“Does the pretty girl want kiss?” You nod, pulling Suguru down with you by the shoulders. 
“Want you to kiss me while you fuck me for the first time. Want it to be special,” You confess shyly. Suguru leans down and pecks you on the forehead, then the nose, and then both of your cheeks. 
“Don’ tease meanie!” You laugh when he kisses the corner of your lips. 
“M’sorry baby, can you forgive me?” He pouts.  
“Hmm—I’ll forgive you only if you kiss me right no—” You don’t even finish your sentence before Suguru shoves his tongue down your throat. You kiss him back and your tongues fight for dominance. Suguru wins and smiles into the kiss. You can’t believe this is happening. Your bully, your stepbrother, your mystery man is kissing you right now. Your about to make love with said man. 
“You okay babydoll?”  
“Mhm, just can’t believe this is all happening.” 
“Me too beautiful, you sure you want to do this right now? We can always wait.” 
“No, I want to. I want you.” You raise your hand to tuck his hair behind his ear. He smiles, showing you that adorable dimple. You kiss it.  
Suguru kisses your lips once more before he grabs his cock, rubbing it up and down your cunt. 
“Fuck—I don’t have a condom.” 
“I’m on the pill—please Sugu.” You beg, frustrated from all this foreplay. You’ve been on edge since last tight in the tub.  
“Alight beautiful,” He pushes the head of his cock into you. “Fuck me—you feel so good. Always knew you would.” You feel his fist guide his long cock into you. You moan. He fits you perfectly.  
“Sugu—feel’s s’good, want more!” You cry, fisting the blanket’s underneath you.  
“Does my baby want more—does she want to orgasm on my cock?” You nod watching Suguru lift your legs to his shoulder. He leans down, bringing your feet to the side of your head. You whine at the stretch. 
Suguru groans as he pulls his cock in and out of you.  
“S’too much!” You moan into his shoulder. He just laughs and picks up his pace. The fancy headboard above the bed starts to slam against the wall. You watch with blurry eyes as the stock photos hung on the wall shake.  
“Said you wanted more baby, ‘m giving you more.”  he says before biting into your neck. Hard. You scream, back arching at the pain. Your hands fist the sheets even tighter, knuckles turning white. Suguru unlatches his jaw. Lifting his head to admire his mark. Now all your customers will know you belong to someone. To him. He kisses the mark. 
“Sugu, It’s too much. Hurts! m’gonna cum!” You cry, tears soaking the blanket breath you. 
“Oh, don't cry baby—shhh—you’re so beautiful y/n. So damn pretty.” He whispers, coaxing you to orgasm. Your eyes roll to the back of your head. You stop breathing for a second as your pussy contracts around Suguru's cock. Suguru follows in suit, spurting his cum deep inside your pussy. 
“Fuck,” he draws out, collapsing onto you.  
“T-that was—” 
“The best sex ‘ve ever had.” 
“Same.” You smile before wincing. 
“What’s wrong babydoll.”  
“You're about to break my damn hip if you keep my legs up any longer,” Suguru lefts himself enough to bring your legs to his sides. “And you probably ripped a chunk of my neck off with that little trick of yours.” You grumble. 
“It’s not bad, promise.” He kisses the bite mark softly. 
“And all the pictures fell of the wall.”  
“I’ll put ‘em back up baby,” He laughs into your ear. “Just let me hold you for a second.”  He kisses your cheek before snuggling deeper into you. You throw your arms around his shoulder while you both try to wrap your head around everything that happened.  
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