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steviewashere · 3 days ago

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Routine Hang Out

Rating: Teen and Up CW: Referenced Drinking Tags: Post-Canon, Angst, Hurt With Minor Comfort, Pre-Steve Harrington/Eddie Munson, Internalized Homophobia, Drunk Eddie Munson, Steve Harrington Loves Eddie Munson, Eddie Munson Has a Crush on Steve Harrington, Steve Harrington Takes Care of Eddie Munson, Emotionally Hurt Steve Harrington, Emotionally Hurt Eddie Munson, Plot Twist, Ambiguous Ending What if we gave Eddie Munson internalized homophobia as a little treat?

💔—————💔 Steve’s two beers deep on the Munson couch. And Eddie’s next to him even more wasted; three beers, a couple shots of vodka, and the last quarter of a joint from a different time they hung out all swimming in his system. They’re watching some…some movie, it’s unclear which one it is in the slow to glaze vision he’s sporting. All he knows is this: the couch is sinking slowly under both their heavy bodies, Wayne should probably get somebody to fix the leak in the trailer’s bathroom, and Eddie’s extremely clingy when inebriated. Not that that’s a bad thing, per se, just…unexpected.

Maybe he should’ve expected Eddie to be flopping all over the place. Considering how easy it was for the guy to lean into his space in the Upside Down, quirk his dimpled grin, flash his crazy eyes, and laugh around raspy, tired breaths. Shockingly, it was easy to let him. To have Eddie in his space. To joke and poke and tease. If anything, Steve’s only continued to bring that energy to their hang-outs; though, now that they’re around each other more, he’s come to notice that Eddie doesn’t casually enter Steve’s space or joke or tease or…whatever else he fancies doing. No, Eddie would rather sit as far as possible, and snark rather than smirk.

With the alcohol, Eddie’s come right back to square one.

Currently, there’s a hand on Steve’s right cheek. Thumb working into his skin. Tracing it down the edge of his face.

Slurred, “You’ve got such a nice face,” Eddie comments.

He snorts. “Eds, you’ve already said that, like, four times.”

“It’s true!” And that’s another thing about Eddie—when he’s wasted, he gets a little too loud. Not enough to really cause a scene, but just enough to make the wall vibrate. “God, I could look at you all day.”

“Feels like you have been.” Steve gently circles his fingers around Eddie’s wrist. Sweeps his thumb in the little dip where a pulse point sits. “How about we get some food and water in your system? Maybe go to bed?”

Eddie sighs, pulling forward into Steve’s shoulder. His forehead rests. And then he groans, pushing himself back up. All the while, keeping a heavy, steady hand on Steve’s cheek. “No,” he whines. “I wanna keep looking at you…like…like so bad.” His other hand comes up, sweeping back some of Steve’s stubborn hair. Holding his bangs in place. Eddie smiles, small and adoring. “Did you know…”—hic—“…know that you are so pretty?”

Something churns in Steve’s stomach.

Sour and alive and sickly.

“Ed,” he sighs. “C’mon, man, don’t…don’t say stuff like that.” Not that he particularly wants it to stop. Just…

If he keeps hearing just how pretty he is, it’s going to get his hopes up.

It was a hard thing to conclude. How much he’s really invested and infatuated and at the ready for Eddie. All the things he’d do for him. Waive a late fee at Family Video, take him out for food, odd jobs around the trailer, be at his side during physical therapy or recovery, take a trip around the moon to gather the rocks Eddie can’t pocket, and stop the world for them to remain frozen in time—right next to each other, stitched at the sides.

He loves Eddie.

But he can’t say that right now.

“Let’s just get you to bed, Eddie,” Steve says, more pressure under the words. “Then you’ll be right back to normal in the morning. I’ll make us eggs for breakfast, you can brew some coffee, and we’ll ride on over to the video store to return the movie and VCR—alright?”

Eddie releases Steve’s bangs from the top of his head. Clumsily, he points out his right index finger, and boops the tip of Steve’s nose. Squishing it with pure determination. “I want you to stay right here,” he husks. It’s almost flirtatious. Low enough, but melancholic instead of sultry. “Don’t…don’t want this to be over yet.”

Steve frowns in confusion. “I’m not going anywhere, man. I’ll be right where I always am when I stay the night, yeah? On the couch, waiting for you to wake up in the morning.” He licks his lips, stutters his breath when Eddie follows the motion. “You’re just very drunk right now and feeling a little bad, okay? Get on up with me and we can make you feel better.”

It takes some more resistance, but Eddie finally concedes, standing heavily against Steve’s side once off the couch. One slow step at a time, they get to the back bedroom. Where, gently, he plops Eddie down onto the bed.

He takes the extra time to help Eddie lay on his side. Tuck the blanket around him. Set out a mop bucket just in case. Water on the nightstand, next to the lamp he leaves on—just as he does every night they hang out; it’s the same routine.

When he smooths his hands over the top of the blanket again, Steve slows extremely in his tracks.

Eddie’s looking at him. Wide eyed and glossy. Breathing gently. Tracking. One of his hands comes up out of the blanket, latching itself to Steve’s left forearm.

He steadies himself with a deep breath. Then, “You need something, Eds?” Steve murmurs.

The thumb on his arm sweeps.

“Can you sit with me?”

Steve, without a second thought, sits down on the edge of the bed, facing Eddie. Cautiously, he reaches up and places a hand in Eddie’s hair. Combing through it gently. “Everything alright?”

Eddie shrugs tightly. “I think so.”

“You having nightmares again? I can stay in the room tonight if you need me to.”

“No,” Eddie whispers. “I just…just feel—different.”

He doesn’t say anything to that. Because what does that mean? Of course Eddie’s different he’s…Eddie! The whole wild card character, his big eyes, every little thing he takes apart and nitpicks. How he interacts with others. How he usually accepts others. Nobody else in Hawkins lives like Eddie does—courageously, somehow even free.

“Steve?”

He hums in question.

“I think there’s something wrong with me.”

“Do you think you’re sick? I could find a thermometer around here, check your temperature? I could maybe grab some Pepto”—

Eddie groans. Long and garbled and rough. “Being around you feels…feels…impossible sometimes,” he confesses, still slurring—heavy and distraught. “One moment, you’re my friend. And the next…”

Confused once more, Steve can only furrow his eyebrows. “What are you saying”—

“I wish that you were a girl,” Eddie harshly sobs out. There are fast falling tears smearing down his cheeks. Steve didn’t even notice they were there to begin with. But they won’t stop. And Eddie’s face goes blotchy in distress. “I wish…I wish you were a girl and I could…then I could—It’s not supposed to be like this. I’m not supposed to be”—

“Ed,” Steve interrupts softly, “I think you should close your eyes and go to sleep.”

“But I”—

He shakes his head. Hates the way something dark shutters in Eddie’s gaze. “We can’t…I can’t talk about this right now, Eds. It’s not the right time.”

Eddie sniffles. Pouts. “What the fuck do you know about right time and”—

Voice croaking, “Maybe I have feelings, too,” Steve miserably admits. His throat hot and pinched with oncoming tears. “And I know they’re right for me, but I can’t walk you through this. I can’t…I can’t help you this time, Eds. I can’t tell you who you are.” Reluctantly, even though Eddie tries to grab back for him, Steve removes his hand from where it’s petting. “But if you were a certain way, Eds, it wouldn’t be wrong. It’s not wrong. I know it’s not wrong.” He folds his hands in his lap, fidgeting loosely with his fingers. And casts his stare just off of Eddie’s face. Quietly, “When you’re sober and you’ve spared some thought to it, then come find me. For now, I just want to be a friend. I want to support you. But you’re also breaking my heart.”

“I am?” Eddie chokes out. “‘M sorry, Stevie…’m so sorry.”

Even though it’s going to hurt more, Steve ends up reaching out again. Touching Eddie’s heated face. Caressing him, swiping away the tears, holding onto him. “Hey,” he coos, “hey, it’s okay.” Steve pinches the bridge of his nose with his spare hand, and lets out a quick, shuttering breath. Shakes his head, sucks on his teeth, sighs. “I’m gonna be okay, I promise. It’s just that I…I…”—be brave, he tells himself, you just gotta be brave—“…I love you so much, Eddie. It hurts right now, hearing you say stuff like that. But I know you’re just…you’re figuring stuff out for yourself. And that takes time. And I’m gonna be right here with you…for you.”

“But what if I never figure it out, Stevie? I’m…I’m broken. I…I can’t feel this way. Not a-about you.”

Steve quirks a small, sad smile. “You’re not broken,” he murmurs, “you’re different, like you said. And that’s completely okay. It’s also okay if you don’t figure anything out. I love just being your friend.” He pats his thumb along Eddie’s under-eye. Lets him tilt into the hold. “I love you, no matter what,” Steve whispers, “even if all we are to each other is just friends. I’m still gonna love you.”

Against the fresh, broken, wet sobs from Eddie’s mouth, Steve closes his eyes, turns his head down, and tries to put himself anywhere else.

In another version of himself, Steve would’ve left fifteen minutes ago. He would’ve chugged down a couple glasses of water, grabbed his keys from the coffee table, and left Eddie to sober up on his own. The front door would’ve hit his backside. Stairs creaking as he stepped upon them, drifting farther and farther away from the blood to his beating heart. Drove himself—home, he doesn’t know, aimlessly almost sounds better. And maybe he’d go and drown himself in more booze—something stronger and darker and more bitter—and choked on his bile swirled saliva, sprayed puke from his nostrils the following morning, forgotten all about the fiasco that was this night before.

But he’s not that guy.

And he’s always loved too hard.

His heart still beats even when his chest hurts. And his soul still sings even when his throat closes up. He still touches and he still feels and he still loves. That’s his problem—oh, how he loves Eddie.

The safety and warmth that comes with somebody who just gets it. With somebody in similar age, in large personality and quirks. Somebody he can riff off of, tease with his words and scoff with his eyes and still find themselves laughing with one another—rather than at one another. He hasn’t felt a connection like this since meeting Tommy Hagan in the second grade; but he doesn’t want a connection like that…especially if it means the same fate as before.

He can’t lose Eddie. And he knows how to keep to himself, how to yearn from a distance, how to bite his own clumsy tongue. Steve knows the limits he possesses, yet how to burst and cross them. He can flirt, he can bitch, he can close up and keep to himself. He can be anything Eddie needs him to be: the bumbling idiot of a best friend, the charming boyfriend who doesn’t know when to let up, the last minute reservation when all the other restaurants closed, the friend you only see at reunions and by happenstance at the bar.

Tonight, he can be the one to comfort. And, sneaky as he’s claimed to be, Steve can keep a secret.

It’ll be just like any other night they hang out.

Eddie gets too clingy, too inebriated, too clumsy. And Steve keeps an eye out, helps them to the bed, leaves out the puke bucket, serves breakfast in the morning.

By the time the sun meets them through the windows, Eddie will have forgotten the night before. Just as he does every time.

But Eddie doesn’t know that.

“I think I’m in love with you,” he had confessed to Steve four nights ago.

“Something about you just feels right,” Eddie had said around a tipsy-happy smile.

“I’d kiss you if I could,” and that was whispered just last night.

If he could change to make Eddie feel safer, Steve would do it in a heartbeat.

Even if that means not being himself. Be a woman or something, whatever that really entails. Nancy and Robin would probably tell him it’s…anti-feminist to try and fit a stereotype. But he would do it anyway.

He’d do anything for Eddie to say those words in the daytime. To touch Steve. To want him in all these carnal, late night craving sort of ways. For Eddie to wrap himself along Steve’s back as breakfast is sizzling on the stovetop. Slow dancing to Etta James records that Eddie only breaks out when he’s feeling particularly emotional while drunk; clumsy feet trying to keep pace on the carpet, in the dark, syrup stuck to each other’s souls.

Steve can keep a secret.

No matter how much it’s killing him to keep quiet.

Not even Robin knows.

Tonight, he is still quiet. With his hand warming Eddie’s cheek. Drying his tears. Soothing him to sleep.

With snores muffled under the blanket, puffs of air hitting Steve’s fingertips, he remains glued to the edge of Eddie’s bed. Right where he remains, as he has for weeks on end now, every single time he’s asked to sit down. Watching the same alcohol soaked memory sleep soundly by the amber glow of a giving out lamp and tucked securely by Steve’s own handiwork.

He should head out to the couch. Wrap himself in a scratchy throw. Move to the recliner when Wayne’s ready to get the fold-out. Just as the original plans when they first started hanging out one on one.

Instead, though, he cautiously maneuvers around Eddie. Lays himself between the rise and fall of a warm back and the cold press of a bumpy wall. Keeps his arms and hands tucked into himself. And he closes his eyes—thinking of an alternate world where Eddie feels safe to completely give himself to his truth.

Even if he never does, Steve will remain tucked against the wall.

Cold against his spine. Stomach turning with sick and want and sore hope. He’ll be the battered copy of a book people are too scared to read—in fear the pages will tear. Just the same paperback, wrinkled with signs of reading, yellowing with years of just enough love to keep the words fresh. And maybe those words will be enough to help the both of them sleep, just a little while longer, just until the bedside lightbulb burns clear out.

💔—————💔

#stranger things #steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #angst and hurt/comfort #ambiguous ending

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allmondbuttergirl · 3 days ago

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pick a pile - Advice from BTS: Hyung Line

༘⋆ Before you begin, take a moment to center yourself and reflect on your current journey. Trust that the universe has a plan for you, and the messages you receive today are here to help guide you towards your next steps. Pick an image whose energy you're drawn to the most. ⊹ ࣪ ﹏𓊝﹏𓂁﹏⊹ ࣪ ˖

──── ୨୧ ──────── ୨୧ ──────── ୨୧ ──────

✧ Pile One — Jin

This is so Jin-coded. Like that older brother energy who says something hilarious one minute and then hits you with the most grounding, protective life advice the next — with a side of “don’t be dumb, you deserve better.”

🧿 What the Cards Say: Two of Wands · Ace of Pentacles · Queen of Swords

He is asking you to stop waiting for permission. You’re standing at a threshold, holding a dream in one hand and hesitation in the other. He says, "“Choose yourself. Begin something that will last.” You’re being guided to plant a new seed — a project, belief, or way of living — rooted in clarity and purpose. But do it from a place of wisdom, not emotional reactivity. There’s something regal in how Jin’s energy shows up here — calm, clever, discerning. Vision is nothing without grounding. And you don’t need everyone to agree with your path — only to walk it with your whole heart.

✨ Jin's Advice: “You have more potential than you’re letting yourself believe. Take the leap — you’re ready. Build something real. Stay smart, stay grounded, and don’t forget to protect your energy along the way.”

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✧ Pile Two — J-Hope

…this is SO Hobi, but like his deeper, more introspective self — the side people sometimes overlook beneath the sunshine.

🧿 What the Cards Say: Four of Swords · The Hermit · The Magician

J-Hope shows up not as the eternal sunshine — but as your guide into sacred stillness. He asks, “Have you paused long enough to hear your own voice again?” There’s healing here — the kind that happens when you step away from noise, from hustle, from the need to be “on.” In the quiet, you rediscover your tools. Your soul is the magician — resting, reflecting, then rising. The lesson: Silence isn’t absence — it’s preparation. You don’t have to force the next chapter. Rest, and your power will return to you tenfold.

✨ J-Hope's Advice: "Take the break. It’s okay to go quiet. That silence is sacred — it's where you'll remember who you are. And when you're ready, use all that you've learned to create something only you can. You're more powerful than you think."

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✧ Pile Three — SUGA

🧿 What the Cards Say: Eight of Wands · Queen of Cups · The Magician

It’s classic Yoongi. He’d never force you to rush healing, but he would encourage you to stop over-perfecting and just let your soul speak.

Yoongi’s energy rushes in like lightning through water. He whispers, "Move.Create.Feel Everything." Something is ready to come out of you — a truth, a creation, an emotional release. But you’ve been doubting your timing. SUGA says the timing is now. Your emotions don’t make you fragile — they make your art real. He says, "Use it." Your softness is not your weakness. Let your emotions lead you to something bold, fast, and true. The storm inside you is the spell.

✨ Suga's Advice: "Move fast when the spark hits. Don’t waste time doubting. Let your emotions be your fuel — not your chains. You’re not missing anything. You already have it all. Make something with it."

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✧ Pile Four — RM

This is the Namjoon spread — like a handwritten poem he’d leave pressed between pages of a book.

🧿 What the Cards Say: Seven of Pentacles · The Tower · Six of Wands

Namjoon meets you at the intersection of patience and collapse. He says, "Don’t fear what’s falling apart — it’s clearing the way for who you’re becoming.” You’ve waited. You’ve tended your garden. But sometimes the walls still fall. The Tower here is sacred disruption — and he’s reminding you: this is not failure, it’s freedom. And when you rise — you’ll rise seen. You’re not behind. You’re transforming. Be brave enough to stand in the fire — because what comes after will be your liberation, your recognition, and your quiet triumph.

✨ Namjoon's Advice: "Be patient with your becoming. Don’t fear the fall — it’s carving the space for your truth. You will rise, and when you do, you’ll shine not because you were unshaken, but because you kept choosing to rebuild."

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#tarot #bts #kim namjoon #kim seokjin #min yoongi #jung hoseok #pick a card #bangtan #tarot reading #kpoptarot #kpop tarot #kpop #bts army #pick a picture #pick a pile #pac

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dandelionsresilience · 1 day ago

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Dandelion News - June 8-14

Like these weekly compilations? Tip me at $kaybarr1735 or check out my Dandelion Doodles!

1. This LGBTQ+ nonprofit just raised $285M to challenge legislative attacks on queer lives

“Launched three years ago in anticipation of escalating federal attacks, the campaign surpassed its goal by more than $100 million. […] Lambda is using the funds to expand its legal team by 42 percent [… and] support a significant scale-up of its public education programs and its LGBTQ+ legal help desk — the only one in the country staffed by attorneys.”

2. When a fox says ‘help’ in London, there’s often an ambulance on its way

“[The Fox Project has] grown from providing information on deterring foxes to rescuing 1,400 a year, including 400 cubs[…. They respond] to calls about injured or ill foxes or cubs that have lost their mothers. […] Cubs that recover are socialized in packs of five until they mature and are then released in a rural location while the adults are freed in the neighborhoods where they were found.”

3. Bills That Could Have Hurt Renewable Energy Die in Texas Legislature

“Renewables diversify the state’s grid and add capacity, renewable advocates said, making the grid more reliable. […] The answer was not to force fossil fuel purchases or connections [as these bills would have done], they said, but to look for more ways to bolster battery storage efforts. […] The Advanced Power Alliance, an advocacy group for clean energy, argued [another] bill would hurt development and competition, which conservative lawmakers should support.”

4. 'New pathway' to cure for HIV discovered using tech from COVID-19 vaccine

“Researchers have taken a giant leap in the search for an HIV cure by discovering a way to identify the virus even as it is camouflaged among other cells. […] By introducing mRNA to white blood cells, [this technology] can force the cells to reveal the virus[…], isolating the virus for potential treatment. [… I]n terms of specifically the field of HIV cure, we have never seen anything close to as good as what we are seeing [with this technology….]”

5. A Historic Milestone in Conservation: The Forêt Brière Is Now Protected

“Thanks to a tremendous collective effort and the generosity of our donors, the goal of raising over $1,000,000 in private funds has been reached, meaning this exceptional 540-hectare property in the heart of the Northern Green Mountains will be protected in perpetuity. […] The area is home to remarkable biodiversity, with over 250 species of flora and numerous at-risk species of fauna[, … and t]he area's habitats are extremely diverse.”

June 1-7 news here | (all credit for images and written material can be found at the source linked; I don’t claim credit for anything but curating.)

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warriorheart13-blog · 3 days ago

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One Piece Ace x reader: Inferno

youtube

I love this song from Promare, it fit so well with Ace. My first time writing Angst/comfort with a songfic! I hope you like it @frostynight0265

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Trails of fire

You always knew

They would carry me home

They'd lead me to you

Marineford... A battle that was gruesome and bloody... a war that almost destroyed hopes and families... A fight where he almost lost...you...

Though you can't see the sun.

A new day has begun.

And I fall out of bed to a siren call. In the frame on the wall see you in fire.

You guys are smiling at me and you inspire

"ACE!!" Your voice screamed out. He looked to you, he looked into your eyes. Your eyes looked frightened, but determined. Standing next to Pops on the main ship.

"I DON'T DESERVE THIS! IM NOT WORTH IT." He yelled out. He loved you, more than friends especially. But he couldnt risk it, risk you.

The war began, a race against the clock to free him, Luffy appearing from the sky seemed to have given the pirates a winning side.

Not good enough, If I just let them get away.

Not satisfied until I'm making 'em pay!

I'm a fool for adventure, you know?Inside my heart feelin' the Inferno!

Luffy had managed to get to Ace. With help from Mr. 3, Ace was freed from the sea prism cuffs. Now the new plan was to get out alive.

Until Luffy dropped Rayleighs vivre card, Akainu taking the chance to finish him off. Ace saw this and moved to protect Luffy. Unfortunately you saw this. No one knew you had a devil fruit power. They knew you were strong. Your devil fruit was the metal metal fruit: model Tungsten. The ability to make and manipulate Tungsten, which had high resistance to...lava..

Barely catchin' my breath,

Lay my eyes on the crest.

Gonna square up to all of the heat that is left

It happened so fast. Ace was expecting the feeling of heat melting him. He didnt and looked to see why. His eyes widened.

You stood in front of the two, a shield made of tungsten. Protecting them. But you couldn't hold it for very long.

Luckily Whitebeard came in time. After that, everything was a blur.

So, I carry the torch to Inferno! Inferno!

It's out of the park and I'm smilin' again

Here we go

You sat on the railings of the Moby Dick. The battle was over and everyone was recovering from their injuries. Able to bring Pops and Ace home. Pops was critical unfortunately and Marco was busy monitoring him and left Aces care to you.

You brushed the hair gently out of his face. Tears finally releasing from relief, you were so close to losing him...that you didnt know that he almost lost you too.

Having used a ton of your energy to make that large shield, you passed out. Ace had thought you were running with you when he realized you werent. He looked back to see Akainu praying on you this time, easy pickings. He watched as the admiral pick up your body with his hand.

"The pretty bird of Portgas D Ace...You will have to die in his place then." He said

Ace let out the most feral scream he's made in his life. He felt his flames burn brighter and hotter than ever before...

He had awaken his devil fruit. And had gone supernova flames.

I down a coffee, grab my axe and then I'm out.

I got a rage inside that's making me shout.

I get high on the fighting, you know?

Inside my heart feelin' the Inferno!

From what Marco had told you when you had woken up, Ace's flames were so hot that it started to vaporize the magma of Akainu, burning him even. He looked like starlight.

"Ace...you've done so much for me...i hope you know how much i love you, freckles and all..." you shut your eyes, praying.

"Youre the one good thing in my life...i couldnt let them take you..." Ace's voice came through making you quickly open your eyes.

"Ace!" You quickly lunged to hug him, him wrapping his arms around your waist snug.

"Hey birdie. Im so glad i have you...you make life worth living."

"I love you Ace. Youre a star in the sky and my home..."

I know, I know, I know, I know

I will be here for you wherever you go

"I love you too. You make me feel safe, make me feel seen, and make me feel i deserve to be alive." He said, before cupping your cheeks and leaning forward slightly to give a warm but gentle kiss.

It set off an inferno of warmth in your heart, spreading before you returned the kiss.

Marco found them asleep later on, so snug it looked like Ace was afraid to let you go, as if you'd disappear.

"Inferno of Love...how cute." Marco smiled and left to let them sleep.

Trails of fire

You always knew

They would carry me home

They'd lead me to you

All my life been searching for

The place I lost it's what I adore

And all my life been hoping for

A happy life for me

#one piece #one piece au #one piece fanfic #one piece fanfiction #one piece oc #op x reader #fanfic #one piece x reader #one piece x y/n #op x you #Youtube

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mattslilies · 13 hours ago

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Hairdresser - M.S.

"can i do it for you?" or... the one where you are freshly out of the shower, and need to take care of your hair, but matt offers to put it up for you. warnings: none!! a cute little fluffy fic once again today! word count: 835 a/n: requested by anon!!

your hair was fairly long. it wasn't unbearable, but it wasn't necessarily easy to deal with all the time either. you often found yourself dreading the process of cleaning it, drying it, and styling it, but you knew that if you were to cut all of it off, you'd heavily regret it.

tonight was one of those nights, where you didn't have the energy to deal with your hair, but you knew that trying to brush the tangles and clumps out of it the next morning would be an absolute nightmare for you. the thought of that was enough to give you motivation to drag yourself out of bed and to the bathroom.

you stood in front of the mirror, sighing as you released your hair from its confines, atop your head in a messy bun. pieces were strewn out all around, you having not cared about the neatness of it when you tossed it up to take a shower. as gravity took hold of it, it fell down past your shoulders, the ends of it dangling in the middle of your back.

matt had gotten home about an hour ago, and was cleaning up the kitchen from your shared dinner while you showered. it was at this point that he wandered back in to the bedroom, noticing the bathroom light on and your gentle humming of a song escaping the door. walking in, he was greeted with the sight of you dragging a brush through your hair, a slightly exasperated look on your face.

"you okay, baby?"

you turned to look at him, giving him a small smile.

"i'm alright, just frustrated. i'm exhausted and i don't really want to deal with my hair tonight, but i need to put it up so that it doesn't get all tangled overnight."

he nodded in compassion, not fully understanding your struggle, but having watched you fight with the aftermath of not pulling your hair up the night before, he knew you needed to take care of it. but, that wasn't any reason to say that he couldn't help you, since you were so clearly wiped from your long day at work.

"can i do it for you?"

you stared at him for a moment, the brush halting in your hair. you hadn't expected him to offer, especially considering he had little to no experience dealing with hair longer than his shoulders, to your knowledge. but still, the ache in your arms persisted, and you agreed, handing him the brush.

"yes, actually. that would be amazing."

he started running the brush through your hair, careful to start from the bottom of any knots or snags he got caught in, not wanting to hurt you. as it started going through more smoothly, your shoulders relaxed, the relief of not having to take care of this yourself washing over you.

"you normally sleep with it in a braid. do you want to do that tonight?"

you moved to nod before remembering that his hands were in your hair, so you spoke instead.

"yes, so when you're done brushing it, just hand it back to me. i can do the braiding myself."

matt wasn't going to let you do that. he had offered so that you wouldn't have to be doing any of this yourself, and he meant it.

quietly setting the brush down, he portioned your hair into three parts, as evenly as he could manage, having little experience in this department. despite this, he knew the fundamentals of a braid, and very slowly, very gently, twisted all three strands all the way down your back, your hair creating a gorgeous braid starting at the bottom of your head.

he reached around you, grabbing a hair tie off of the counter and quickly tying off the bottom of it, before gently sliding it over your shoulder, letting it drape down the front of your body.

"all done."

you gasped, staring at the beautiful style he'd put in, had seemingly pulled out of nowhere.

"matt! when did you learn how to braid? you've never done this before."

he smiled, kissing your cheek before responding .

"i had a good bit of female friends growing up, so i picked up a thing or two here and there. you just never asked for help, and i never wanted to intrude or make you think i knew how to do it better than you by asking."

you turned around, fully kissing him, a yawn leaving your lips once you pulled back.

"well, it's official. you're on hair duty every night now, because if you know how to do it this well, i don't see a point in ever doing it myself again."

he laughed, walking with you to bed.

"i don't think that's a bad thing at all. i'm happy to help. i love you."

a quiet "'love you too" slipped out of your lips as your head hit the pillow, freshly braided hair strewn across the sheets as you fell asleep almost instantly.

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lunesviolettes · 1 day ago

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Void - 09.

(This series was originally posted on my Wattpad, so I’m bringing it over here)

pairing: MCU!bucky barnes x MCU!female reader

word count: 5.3k

summary: Y/N was far from any normal girl in Brooklyn during the 1940s. Her physical and mental strength were far from ordinary and her mother and father were nothing short of strange, just like her. Secrets and strange occurrences were all that she had ever known and with the approach of a second global war, it seemed that everything would only become stranger. A powerful organization, a target on the back of a young girl, a serum, and an infinity stone were all that it would take to change everything she knew about her world.

chapter warnings: none

a/n: This fanfic follows the course of the MCU movies (The First Avenger - Thunderbolts). It’s more focused on the story aspect of the MCU and is very much a slow burn type of story with not a lot of focus on smut.

Series Masterlist Next Chapter

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"Alright, can you hear me, Y/L/N?" You adjusted your sleeves, staring up at the glass pane that overlooked the ground floor. "Loud and clear, Stark." If he sensed any unease or worry in your voice, he sure didn't show it. His attention was instead directed to his command board. "We're gonna start with a short burst and work our way up, try your best to match what I'm telling you." You were sure you had nodded, but based on how your entire body had gone numb, it was unclear whether or not you imagined it.

The lights faded to a low dim and only then could you make out the projection of your vitals on the glass in front of Howard's face. At the end of the room furthest from you, a target appeared, clearly painted on the wall by his own hands. "Okay, I want you to aim for the center and release as little energy as you can."

"Easier said than done." You muttered to yourself. You puffed your cheeks out and let the air escape, hoping it would ease your rapidly beating heart. Part of you had come to recognize the sensations of willing that energy forward. It was subtle at first. Nothing but the low buzzing in your ears, limbs growing warm and fuzzy.

Then, all at once, the weightless feeling. Your arms lifted on their own accord, bright waves of light seeping from your palms. They traveled up, crawling along your skin. You frowned, brows furrowing as you focused on that tether within you.

It was felt in the depths of your chest, something swirling and pulsating. You concentrated on that pulse, willing your mind to release it. A sudden gasp escaped you as a burst of energy lept from your palm, scattering into the air above. It flew high, simmering away just as quickly as it had come.

"Don't get frustrated. Just try again and don't focus so much on making it work. I've seen what you can do and I know you've got it in you."

With a sigh, you lifted your hands again, clenching your eyes shut this time. Come on. Give me something. You thought to yourself. You pulled at it again, calling upon the warmth - the light to make its appearance. You pictured it within your mind, flowing down your arms. You flinched, your entire body jolting as it erupted from within your chest.

The entirety of your skin lit up with a glow, bright, like the sun. “Only a little bit.” Howard reminded you, his gaze narrowed. You exhaled slowly, a deep furrow appearing between your brows. The thrum of it within your ears was mind numbing. Your knees wobbled as if the force of power was too great. It shook the ground beneath you, energy piling up around your shoes as it spilled from you effortlessly.

“Focus, Y/N. Don’t let it overwhelm you.” You shivered, a grunt escaping you as your arms shook. The target was just up ahead, but you could barely see it within your swirling vision. You narrowed your eyes, attempting to focus. To will that power into something you could use. Come on, come on.

With a shout you turned, throwing your arm forward. A burst of bright blue light lept from your grasp, spiraling toward the target. The building shook, lights flickering above as it struck. The target split into two, falling onto the floor. A steaming black mark was left on the wall, a single crack within it that snaked its way up the concrete.

Crackles echoed from the loudspeaker, Howard’s voice not pleased in the slightest. “Y/N, you’re letting it get to you. You can’t let it control you.” You sighed, frustration adamant in the rapid rise and fall of your chest. “I’m trying, I just…I can’t.”

“Yes you can. We’re gonna try close up combat okay? Maybe you’ll find this a little easier.” You furrowed your brows, looking up at the glass pane. “Close up combat? With who?”

“Prototypes, not real people.” You tried to ignore the ache in your bones, the twinging behind your eyes. Your ears rang, the thrumming of energy almost too much to bear. With a drag in your stride, Howard knew you were becoming fatigued. He would’ve liked to have taken it easier on you, but neither of you could afford those luxuries.

Hydra, still a prevalent force, was fiercely determined for power. Should you be left defenseless with abilities stronger than you could understand, one could only imagine how they would take advantage of that.

You weren’t sure what you were expecting to walk through the metal doors, but it certainly wasn't what came rolling towards you. It was a scrap of metal upon first glance. A quickly assembled metal torso attached to a pole, leading down to a set of wheels. This metal contraption held no eyes, bearing no resemblance to any living being. It advanced towards you at surprising speeds.

With a surge of courage and determination, you threw your hands out to your sides, brows furrowed as you called upon it again. The small little flicker of a flame within the depths of your chest. As light ignited from your palms, you lit up with a warmth unlike any other. It spread from your chest, down the entirety of your body until you felt alive with the force of a thousand suns.

You stepped out of the prototype’s path, flicking an arm out as you turned. A flash of blinding blue light advanced towards the droid, striking its back. The force of that blast of energy had sent it spiraling to the other side of the room. You eyed it, chest heaving, hands curling into fists. As you took a step forward, you heard something within the distant depths of your mind.

A whisper. You paused, palms growing cold as you recalled that night. The glowing orb that was alive and seemed to be calling to you, whispering unintelligible things. It was within you now. Living and existing off of your body. You were unnerved. Unable to see a future in which you could live like this. Constant whispers within your mind would surely bring you to the brink of insanity.

A small shiver crawled down your back, but there was no time to focus on what you just heard. The quick shout of your name brought you back down to Earth and you just narrowly avoided the prototype as it came barreling towards you. Your shoulder collided with the metal torso, nearly knocking it onto the ground. “You okay, Y/L/N?” You nodded, sucking in a harsh breath and you forced your apprehension away. “Just got distracted for a second.”

"Okay, just don't let it happen again. When you get into the hang of fending it off I'm gonna send in another so be on the lookout." The prototype spun back around when it hit the wall, moving towards you with a purpose. You were aware that it was close-up combat but still, it was startling to see the prototype lift a dangling metal arm swinging it towards you.

You spun out of the way with a yelp, swiping this arm away with what you believed was a short burst of energy. It was not. Energy curled its way down your body. Bright blue light that nearly consumed you within it. The droid was sent flying into the wall with a crack. It crumbled to the ground, reduced to a tangle of wires and metal. You sank to a knee, head spinning, eyes taken over with a blinding white light. Your arms shook as you fought to keep yourself upright.

In this state you were reminded of one thing. You were undeniably human. You contained a power unlike any other. Something that had not been seen in any recorded history and you were simply too weak to contain it. For a moment you considered that it may just end up killing you.

You couldn’t control it. A simple human. You grunted, frustrated by the words that seemed to infiltrate your mind. Your thoughts reflected nothing but the truth, though. As the blue waves of light flooded from you, you realized that it was stronger than you. There was no super strength within you. No super soldier serum that kept you afloat amongst the power that threatened to drown you.

The ringing in your ears had returned, drowning out the worried shouts from Howard. You’re weak. Your jaw twitched, teeth clenched together as you moved to stand. Your legs wobbled and you felt your vision swarming in and out of focus. Raw, uncontained power still curled around you, moving in and out of your skin. You knew that you couldn’t let it consume you. You had to overcome it, force it to submit to you. It was a living breathing force within you and you had to beat it down.

A shaky breath escaped you as you finally stood. Your teeth were bared, hands clenched into tight fists - knuckles turning white. It rippled around you, drowning out the world with its low reverberations in your ears. You couldn’t let it win. You knew you couldn’t

Fight or die. You repeated it until you could think of nothing else. It curled around you like a predator coming down on its prey. The power of it was suffocating, but you couldn’t let it overwhelm you. I am in control. You let that one single thought fill your head over and over until the whispers could no longer be heard. Howard watched with wide eyes, leaning against the glass. The glowing blue light that once surrounded you began to dim. It appeared to shrink back, crawling its way back into your skin.

You emerged within the depths of its light, anger evident on your face. The brightness within your eyes had dimmed a fraction. “Send them in.” You said, looking up at the glass. Howard obeyed without another word, sucking in a single breath as he flicked up the nob.

The doors flew open, swinging as two of the prototypes entered. You redirected your focus, eyes narrowed at one. That warmth - that beautiful and sickly warmth flooded from your palm, a burst of light striking against the nearest one. It spun back, but the other came at you. Your arm reached forward, fingertips pressed against the metal torso. Energy sank within it, and it, too, was sent soaring across the room.

A creak of metal came from somewhere behind you and you spun, unprepared for the metal arm that flew through the air. It snapped against your cheek, your head thrown to the side. Holding tight to the side of your face you rose to your full height. Rage bubbled up within you, frustration evident in your expression. You threw your arms out, sending both prototypes spinning to the far ends of the room.

"Nice thinking there, Jazz Hands. Let's see if you can fight off three." He assumed you could handle it. He thought you were fine, that you got it perfectly under control. And so did you. Already out of breath, you just barely mustered a nod and turned to the door. The third entered and they circled you. Your knees were bent just slightly, arms tensed, fingers itching to release it. Your posture was guarded, eyes alert.

One came zipping towards you, and while you were distracted fending it off, another approached. Your head snapped back as the metal arm struck your jaw, but you quickly recovered. A flash of light struck the droid's face but whatever damage had been done was unimportant as another took its place. You kicked the second droid back, mouth agape as you sucked down mouthfuls of air.

Each burst of light released made your skin grow cold, head swimming and each step became more difficult. It was fading away. You could feel it - see it. It was dimming, turning translucent instead of its usual dazzling blinding blue. The light within your eyes was gone and your skin was flushed with a thin layer of sweat.

Moving out the way of each attempted blow suddenly seemed impossible. You just narrowly dodged a prototype’s arm with a duck, but your weak knees caused you to stumble and brought you face to face with the newest prototype.

The room became a cacophony of gasps and the clash of metal as you fought to keep up with their unwavering speed. You were distracted and dazed, and a particular burst of energy had you stumbling onto your hands and knees. Howard halted the prototypes, leaning over the control panel to get a better look at you down below. “Need a break?”

He asked, and you nodded with your head hanging low.

“You know,Hydra is not going to give you a break.”

“I’m aware of that. Don’t you think I don’t realize that?” A sardonic laugh came from you as you looked up. Frustration grew within you once more. Your hands were tensed tightly into fists - so tight that you swore your fingernails broke skin. Your skin was hot, boiling the longer you sat there thinking over your inability to keep up. You were just a human.

“Then you need to try. You need to fight for your life because that’s all you can do.” You grunted, head shaking as you fought off the darkness that threatened to cave in. You were moments away from collapsing. That sense of dread and anxiety grew within you. The kind of feeling you got when you couldn’t catch your breath and suddenly your limbs would feel all too fuzzy.

Nevertheless, you pushed yourself haphazardly to your feet. You stumbled, chest heaving, a pained look on your face as you faced the droids. “Don’t doubt yourself.” Howard said, though it seemed more like a warning as he sent the prototypes hurtling towards you.

You were outnumbered, not only literally, but your own strength couldn’t match them. Your arms were sore, limp as you tried to lift them. Your face stung from the two blows that managed to strike you. You are weak. You cannot win.

There it was again. The infiltration of a thought that felt like nothing you had ever experienced in your life. It sat within the back of your mind - sending a chill down your spine. You clenched your jaw, wincing as a high pitched ringing filled your ears. It drowned out the low rumble from the wheels of the droids.

A single huff of breath escaped you as you threw your arm out, a blast of blue light just barely striking against one of the prototypes. It spun away, and the other two took its place. Crush them. Break them apart. Your face turned to a scowl as your focus waved in and out. A bit of light spilled from your fists, curling up the length of your forearms. As you blinked, your eyes flashed with blinding golden light.

It grew brighter as you moved towards the nearest droid. Your hand stuck out and you sent it hurtling back against the wall. Its trajectory had been stopped and there it remained - held against the wall by a forcefield of energy. Destroy them. With your remaining free hand, you pointed it at another.

Bright tendrils of blue energy encompassed the droid, a low hum filling the air around you. Your teeth were bared, a single grunt escaping you as you tightened your hand into a fist. The low groan of metal came next - creaking, cracking. The droid burst with a screech, the crackle of electricity sputtering onto the ground as it fell.

You turned, eyes wild and crazed - like an animal. Howard's hands had left the controls as he watched the deep burgundy liquid ooze from your nose. It was halfway down your chin when you drew her arm back. You were no longer visible within the dazzling blue light. If one squinted, they would catch the flickers of gold that shone within it. The final remaining prototype was lifted from the ground.

The walls shook - rumbling softly. You had come to life with power, rage bursting from your chest. Tendrils of shining blue light wrapped around the two remaining droids. Your hands were tensed, fingers twitching ever so slightly. Tear them apart. A single breath fell from your lips. The horrid screech of metal had Howard clamping his hands over his ears. They cracked at first, a split moving down the torsos of the droids.

Then, they were pulled apart - ripped into two. Wires stuck out from within them, hanging limp before you flicked your hands and sent them flying into their respective walls. The thrumming of energy faded away all at once.

You fell to the ground, just barely able to hold yourself up. Your teeth were stained red from the blood that dripped down and your eyes were squeezed shut. Whatever laid ahead of you was blurred. You could no longer register the battered and destroyed prototype on the ground.

When Howard ran from the booth and crouched in front of you, you couldn’t see him - couldn’t hear him. You could just faintly recall the events that occurred prior, but in no way could you fathom or explain what it was. The voice within you. The thoughts that filled your mind.

In one single moment, it was as if you had changed entirely - become something else in a matter of seconds. You were conscious and could see everything happen, but it was almost an out of body experience. Like you were staring down at this person causing all that destruction. A hand pressed against your forehead and you groaned, pulling yourself away from it.

Whatever had been spoken to you from the dark mass in front of you was a mere mumble in the back of your mind. Your head was buzzing, skin tingling. You could see the brightness of light slowly moving underneath your skin - casting a gentle glow across its surface.

Howard could not understand what happened. You had moved with precision, your posture tall and sure. It seemed to have come to you effortlessly - the ability to control and contort the energy into a usable force. Very quickly had he realized that they were all in over their heads.

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“I don't think it's a good idea for me to be out. What if it happens again?" You asked, holding a hand over your eyes to block out the sun. "It won't. You and Howard have made tremendous progress." Over the course of the past few weeks, while Steve was off touring as his new identity; The Star-Spangled Man With a Plan, you were working directly with Howard Stark to adjust to your new power.

During that time, you’d suffered from three…fits. Blackouts were what he decided to call it - the state that would leave you behaving like an entirely different person. Almost as if the power inside you was taking over and leaving nothing but destruction in its wake.

It would leave you drained, unfamiliar with what had just occurred. In those moments, you were unrecognizable. Spurred on by blinding rage. As far as they knew, that side of you was urged by your emotions - fear, anger, frustration. But it wasn’t you. It was the power. It took over and defended itself, seeming to use your body as a vice…a vector. In the end, you’d be drained and left fighting for each breath.

It was those blackouts that had led Howard Stark to believe it was best if they found a way to extract the power entirely. There was only a slight problem. They could not gain any understanding of your power. Any attempts had it defending itself - sending any potential threats rearing back as if they’d been burned.

That discovery had Howard Stark locked up in his personal labs, constructing a device that would allow them to safely extract the power. With your body stuck in a state of frozen unconsciousness where your emotions could not be accessed, the power inside you would not feel urged to defend itself.

It would take a lot of work and there were no guarantees of its success. But he had to try - for the sake of you living any semblance of a normal life. You were amenable to the suggestion, eager for anything to relieve you of this constant fear. Fear of yourself. Anything to get rid of the power that seemed to be drawing on your life force to strengthen itself.

The only one concerned had been your mother who did not exactly trust Howard’s experiments. No one knew about the experiments other than those closely involved with the SSR and the active movements against Hydra. They kept it that way to ensure your safety. After the events that took Abraham Erskine’s life, they could no longer afford to misplace their trust.

Despite your predicament, you were somewhat thankful to have those few individuals you could trust. Those you could vent to in your moments of weakness and despair. There was only one who wasn’t entirely aware of the extent of the situation. That particular man was stuck - frozen on stage in front of at least a hundred U.S soldiers.

"What is he wearing?" You asked as you dropped down from the military vehicle. Across the field, standing on a stage was Steve dressed in what appeared to be the outfit for his Captain America persona. It was particularly form fitting, showing off yours, Dr. Erskine’s and Howard’s handy work. It was mainly blue, accessorized with bits of red and white - like the flag. Captain America…a red white and blue outfit…a flag shield - it was all very on the nose.

The soldiers sitting in front of him didn't seem too entertained by the performance. They were men actively fighting against the forces of Hitler and Hydra. Their friends were dying, they were getting injured. Many of them were not particularly fond of seeing a man in a one piece cheering them on about the war.

"How many of you ready to help me sock ol' Adolf on the jaw?" There was no response from the men, but a few seemed to be stifling their laughter at the pitiful sight in front of them. "Okay. Uh...I need a volunteer."

"I already volunteered! How do you think I got here?" The shout from deep within the crowd had caused a ripple of laughter to erupt from the soldiers. "Bring back the girls!" An uproar of cheers drowned out all chances of Steve gaining their undivided attention and it was clear to both you and Peggy that he was completely humiliated up there. It was not at all what Dr. Erskine had imagined for him, and certainly not you.

You could only wonder how different things would’ve gone if Erskine never met his end that fateful day. “I think they only know the one song. But um...let me...I'll...I'll see what I can do." Steve was turning red, his voice shaky as he fought to improvise as best as he could. "You do that, sweetheart."

"Nice boots, Tinker Bell." Another soldier shouted, bringing back the cacophony of laughter. "Come on, guys. We're all on the same team here." One man stood up from his seat on the dirt, his back facing Steve. "Hey, Captain! Sign this!" Your face scrunched up as the man yanked his pants down, revealing his entire backside to Steve.

All the soldiers around him had gotten a real kick out of the act and unfortunately, there were no chances for Steve to gain his dignity back. If he even had any at that. Food was thrown from the crowd, meekly blocked by the prop shield. With his reputation tarnished, Steve fled from the stage. Cheers had followed his departure as the chorus girls entered from behind the curtains.

Long after the show had ended, you and Agent Carter embarked on your hunt to find the blonde dressed in red white, and blue. That blonde, in particular, was seated on a platform furthest from the stage, a pencil in hand as he whisked it across the page in gentle strokes. "Hello, Steve." He turned, expression clouded with confusion when he spotted the two of you. "Hi. What are you two doing here?"

"Officially neither of us are here at all." You parted from Peggy's side and crouched behind him - a gentle hand placed upon his shoulder. As you came closer, it crossed the distance to his other shoulder and you squeezed him lightly. He sank into your embrace, the smallest of sighs escaping his lips.

Clearly, the extent of his touring was exhausting and overwhelming. It was a tough few weeks for all of them. "That was quite a performance."

“Yeah. Uh...I had to improvise a little bit. Crowds I'm used to are usually more uh...twelve."

"I understand you're 'America's New Hope'?" Your brows furrowed as you reached over to pluck the journal from Steve’s hands. He willingly released it and you couldn’t help but grow woeful for the man. His opinions about the performances were something he had strong negative feelings toward. In fact, his drawings displayed quite well what he truly felt like being up on that stage.

A monkey sitting atop a unicycle. The clothes the monkey wore left little to the imagination - this was how Steve felt. How he viewed himself. A display of entertainment rather than giving himself to a greater cause.

This knowledge disappointed you. Dr Erskine never wanted this for Steve. There was a reason he was chosen and it sure as hell wasn't for him to prance around on stage like some sort of party clown. He saw it in the recruitment facility. Hope. As clear as day. Someone who had a good heart and wanted to make the world a better place. "At least he's got me doin' this. Phillips would have had me stuck in a lab."

"And these are your only two options? A lab rat or a dancing monkey? You were meant for more than this, you know?" Steve's lips parted as he stared off into the distance, a mild shake of his head following. "What?" Peggy asked.

"You know for the longest time I dreamed about coming overseas and being on the front lines. Serving my country. I finally get everything I wanted, and I'm wearin' tights." Instead of a response, a series of honks filled the rain soaked air. A military vehicle had returned, kicking up mud with the speed of its arrival.

The soldiers that exited from the back were quickly escorted into medical tarps. The true sights of a war soaked country. Death. A sight most wouldn’t ever have to see. "They look like they've been through hell."

"These men more than most. Schmidt sent out a force to Azzano. Two hundred men went up against him and less than fifty returned. Your audience contained what was left of the one-o-seventh. The rest were killed or captured." You stilled, heart lurching to a near stop. There was a deep worried furrow in between your brows as you looked up. For a moment you thought you had heard her incorrectly - until you looked to Steve and found the same expression mirrored on his own face.

Blood pulsed through your ears as you stood on shaky legs. Please no. You thought to yourself, racing through the rain - stomping through the mud. Bucky was in the one-o-seventh. The two of you said nothing, opting to take off towards the tent that Steve knew housed the Colonel.

Your palms were slick with sweet, heart beating almost painfully as the three of you stood in front of the Colonel’s table. He was distracted, tapping away at his typewriter with a purpose. If he had noticed your arrival, he showed no signs of it.

"Colonel Phillips." Steve finally announced. "Well, if it isn't the Star-Spangled Man With a Plan. And what is your plan today?"

"I need the casualty list from Azzano." Colonel Phillips shot him a glance and shook his head. "You don't get to give me orders, son." You moved to Steve's left, hands braced on the table as water dripped onto the table from your hair. "We just need one name. Sergeant James Barnes from the hundred and seventh." You pleaded.

A pen was pointed toward Agent Carter from where she stood, a stern look on the Colonel’s face. "You and I are gonna have a conversation later that you won't enjoy."

"Please tell me if he's alive, sir. B-A-R-" Steve began, only to be cut off. "I can spell," The Colonel said. He stood with a sigh and flipped through the papers of all those who had been presumed dead. All those papers signified someone who was once living…breathing. You knew you would never get used to it - the solemn realities of war.

"I have signed more of these condolence letters today than I would care to count. But the name does sound familiar. I'm sorry." Your face fell, and you swore you could feel it shaking. As if you couldn’t believe what the Colonel was saying. He wasn’t right. He couldn’t be.

The idea of loss was something that seemed so foreign to you…until recently. Your father…and now - you couldn’t accept it. You wouldn’t. Your vision funneled, darkness creeping up within the back of your mind. Peggy followed you as you fled from the tent, your breaths coming out quick and unsteady. You just barely managed to brace yourself against the nearest vehicle, eyes squeezed shut.

You could only think of all the things you should’ve done. You should’ve spent more time with him, you should’ve accepted that dance - should’ve told him how you truly felt. Before the whispers could approach - before the ringing could fill your ears, a hand was placed on your back, drawing you back to real life.

Steve exited the tent not longer after, moving with a purpose. You were dragged into motion by Peggy, just barely trailing after them. Your eyes were trained on the mud, praying desperately it had all been a dream. Maybe you would wake to find yourself taken back to a year ago - when everything was right with the world.

"What do you plan to do? Walk to Austria?" Agent Carter shouted, entering the tent as she pulled you along. The silence that followed, free from the rain outside, had you coming to once more. You could see Steve fighting it off. Grief. It had come in hot and was burning through the light within you. He couldn’t let it stop him though. His determination and hope had only been enhanced by the serum.

"If that's what it takes." Was all he said, refusing to meet her eyes. "You heard the Colonel, your friend is most likely dead."

You shook your head, eyes dull as you looked to the Agent. You couldn’t imagine it - couldn’t accept it. “We don’t know that.” You said softly, lip quivering.

Your fingers drifted along the brown leather jacket slung over the back of the chair. With a tense jaw and a finally steady hand, you held the jacket out to Steve. He looked at you, eyes softening. The hints of a grateful smile was on his face as he accepted the jacket from you. "Even so, he's devising a strategy. If he detects-" Peggy began.

"By the time he's done that, it could be too late." Steve held tight to his shield as he departed from the tent, followed closely behind by you. Ignoring the calls of your name from Peggy, you continued after him to the unoccupied vehicle sitting outside. "You told me you thought I was meant for more than this. Did you mean that?"

"Every word." Peggy nodded. "Then you gotta let me go." Only when Steve was inside the car had she crossed to his door, hands clutching onto it. Your eyes met hers, a solemn and pleading look on your face. Finally, Agent Carter nodded."I can do more than that."

Next Chapter

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x female reader #bucky x y/n #bucky x you #bucky x reader #bucky fanfic #james bucky buchanan barnes #marvel #voidlunesviolettes

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jealousmartini · 2 days ago

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how other quirks and even other side effects of quirks help balance or cancel the side effects of my magnetism out.

Everyone shut up. I'm gonna info dump more quirk facts about my magnetism in bitesizes chunks because I'm making a full documentation and analysis of my quirk but it's literally nowhere near done and I need to get this out there

Cool down

So when I have overdone my quirk usage, my body immediately goes into something called a cool down. This is when the temperature of my body simmers down to a significantly cooler temperature. Because my body operates like a magnet, which means I also operate as a battery and a charger at the same time, so the constant use of power makes my body heaten up. Here's how it works. (Ignore the sudden use of third person)

The science behind it

Marcelynn's entire body works like a magnet, but the outlines of pads on the tips of her fingers like Uraraka as well as a bigger one on the palms of her hands are her main areas of output.

Rubbing her hands together (which is what she does when she wants to create more power) creates static friction ->

which makes heat ->

which is then converted into energy and the more friction she uses, the more it amplifies what energy is stored in her body ->

and then boosts power.

Doing this too much can make my quirk go into overdrive, which means the amount of static friction and energy I have stored into my body is too much for me to physically contain. Signs that show quirk over-use are heavy headaches and heavy limbs, sudden hiccups, twitching, and achey joints. As well as low iron deficiency symptoms such as dizziness, energy loss and fainting.

And a separate sign, overheating.

So when I am taking a break, my body realises this, and my temperature slowly drops to adjust to a cooler temperature that's usually colder than the environment around me. This happens because my body is trying to release all excess energy and static I've stored that my body cannot contain, which shows through the loss of heat.

The chilly issue

Of course, now, this isn't always the best thing for me depending on the environment and the weather I'm in. Going into cool down in already cold environments will make me chilly and cold. This is because her body is trying to refrain her from overheating too much, by comparing the temperature of the environment around me to mine and drops it lower than the environment.

Problem solving

But its okay! There's a solution to this. Anything or person that comes in contact with her that has a higher temperature than her will automatically have their body heat altered and shared with hers to raise her temperature to a comfortable warmth but it lowers theirs in the process too.

To maintain warmth — The solutions

-> Hotot showers and baths

-> Hot packs

-> Heat related quirks

Because both Bakugo and Todoroki have heat related quirks, they both happen to be incredibly complimentary to my cool down and overheating.

The way their quirks would come of aid to me is by being in some sort of physical contact with me. It doesn't have to be much. Even leaning into each other is enough to share and convert coolness and heat to and with each other. But when physical touch comes to you like second nature because of a certain someone's magnetic influence, it seems like instinct and comfort has other plans.

BAKUGO'S [UNINTENTIONALLY] CHOSEN METHODS OF (HEAT) RELIEF? 💭

-> Lying on top of me for maximum efficiency

⤷⌗ — He only does this when he reallllyyy needs to. Like after a long, hard day of training. Sweaty bastard collapsing into me like a dead weight.

-> Sitting close to me, arms interlocked for extra closeness

-> Dropping his head into the crook of my neck because I'm his ice pack

-> Visiting my room after any minor inconvenience

⤷⌗ — By any minor inconvenience, I mean almost all the time.

"Does anyone have any ibuprofen? My head hurts" — The solution

Even Uraraka's anti gravity counters my quirk's heavy headaches, heavy limbs, and dizziness side effects. When Uraraka over uses her quirk, she gets light-headed and queasy, which is actually really funny because of the way her side effects exactly oppose mine, that it takes combining each other's quirks by holding onto the other's hand to cancel out each other's side effects. But thing is, Uraraka has a stronger sense of affection for me since we're close. So..

OCHAKO'S CHOSEN METHODS OF RELIEF?💭

-> Forehead kisses

⤷⌗ — Platonical. Literally a short cutesy "mmwah!" on my head is enough to making me feel light headed

-> Holding hands as a means of syncing quirks

-> Playing w/ each others hair, massaging each others brains

-> Lying on top of each other, or cuddling as a means of grounding

Low on battery? — The solution

Remember when I mentioned energy loss, and fainting in my list of side effects? Well there, too, is a solution for these inconveniences. But first? Check this out… ⌵

Magnetic Influence

Is the name of the literal subconscious "push" or "pull" that people have depending on how strong or weak their magnetic fields sync to my field is and vice versa.

Everybody has a natural magnetic field, but the source of the influence always comes from me the strongest because, well, I'm a magnet. It is that all other magnetic fields react to mine on different levels, negatively or positively depending on how compatible we are and how well we compliment each other. This will determine how attractive I find the other person and if I'm even attracted to them at all (vice versa).

The positivity and how strong my magnetic influence is on someone is usually determined by our dynamics. Compatibility can look like anything mind you, especially positive compatibility which doesn't have to take the form of the conventional idea of what it looks like to be harmonious.

And our dynamics can cover literally anything too like our personality types, quirks, drive, energy (basically our freak), our interests, our pros and cons, our strengths and weaknesses, our specialities and even physical features.

That's why I seem to have high interest in a collective of people -> Uraraka, Bakugo, Deku, Mina, Kirishima and Denki (Not in that order plus Sero is an honorable mention), which ties into the nature of my quirk, pulling towards compatible fields which amplifies and boosts things like my mood, my social battery and my energy in general. Think of it like dopamine seeking in a way, being around each other is incredibly beneficial to both me and the person I am super attracted to because it amplifies their energy just like mine.

❜❛ But, what does it mean when the opposite happens? ❜❛

Are you really tired, or are you just comfortable with me? — The illusion of exhaustion

See It's usually those who you feel the most comfortable with who you seek refuge in and gravitate towards when you're at your lowest, rinsed of all physical and mental strength. Because you know, subconsciously, their presence alone will make you feel better again. And it's also those people whose presence that is so comforting and familiar, it confuses the brain into thinking it's time for bed.

This is the illusion of exhaustion. When you are so used to returning back to orbit the person you've come to associate with the feelings of and blah blah so strong that your brain can't tell the difference between that person and home, that it physically makes you relaxed and at ease.

Marcelynn's main sources of recharge being Uraraka, Bakugo, Deku, Mina, Denki and Kirishima (which will be elborated on in the future.) That being said...

MARCELYNN'S METHODS OF RECHARGE?💭

Being within close proximity

-> Parallel play (which is doing something in the same space as someone else but not directly interacting w/ each other)

⤷⌗ — I value my alone time. But when I'm feeling lonely, I love to spend time with my friends whenever I can. I think quality time might be one of my love languages.

⤷⌗ — Home work dates and studying sessions are a really good example.

-> Sitting next to/inbetween her favourite individuals

-> Mainly hanging out w/ "them"

-> Wordless facetime calls

⤷⌗ — Happens a lot w/ Bakugo. He'll call me whilst we're all at our own houses for the break, and we might yap for a bit but it will mostly be quiet on both our ends of the line. He just likes having me around and will find a way to spend time when he can if we can't be in person

Physical touch (reciprocating and receiving)

-> Falling asleep with or against the other

⤷⌗ — Happens whenever Uraraka, Bakugo or Kirishima crash at my room way more often than I'd like to admit... or even when I crash at THEIRS.

-> Linking arms and holding hands

⤷⌗ — Uraraka and Mina are my absolute go-tos for hand holding. Our hands just immediately intertwine with each other the moment we're close. We are like this🤞🏾

⤷⌗ — I mainly link arms w/ Bakugo because he's self-conscious about his sweat even though idgaf .. 💬

-> Leaning against another

⤷⌗ — I do this with everyone in that list. It's like my Y-axis is permanently off balance because of those lot.

⤷⌗ — Midoriya, Uraraka, Mina and even Todoroki leaning into me. While Kirishima immediately relaxes back and adjusts himself to make us both comfortable but Bakugo is lowkey kinda stiff as a stick before he does the same.

-> Hugging / cuddling

⤷⌗ — I say cuddling but most of the time it's just Bakugo barging into my room and tackling me to the bed. Well it's that or I'm sat next to him and he very cooly slings his arm over my shoulders. He totally didn't start doing that because Kirishima did..

-> Having her hair played with

· · ───────── ꒰ঌ·✦·໒꒱ ──────── · ·

-> Head pats

Conclusions?

Marcelynn's dynamics will be thoroughly explained. Uhm.. yeah, some of them go crazy so get ready for that.

Mootie tags if yall gaf: @intimidaid @starry-com @angelic-daiquiri @coquettebratzdoll @bendys-wife @hrrtshape @theshifterbride @deepinthegroves

#idk about yall but me ocha and kats are basically made for each other #martini yaps!#mha dr #mha shifter #mha shifting #shiftblr #desired reality #shifters

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gerogerigaogaigar · 1 day ago

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can we have that lecture on the history of electronic music? 😊

You asked for it lmao. I'll go from the foundations of electronic music to the development of house, techno, jungle, and drum and bass. This is gonna be a long post.

The history of electronic music starts where the history of everything starts-- 7 million years ago with Sahelanthropus Tchadensis smacking two rocks together. There may have been one or two developments in the field of music between then and the 20th century but they aren't really that important for our purposes. In fact the early pioneers of electronic music are not especially important either. The very first name you need to know is Robert Moog¹.

The Moog synthesizer was not by any means the first electronic instrument. The Theremin, Electronde, Croix Sonore, and Ondes Martenot all predate it. But the Moog was a huge programmable monstrosity that also featured a playable keyboard. Finally an instrument for huge nerds! The Moog was invented in 1964 but wouldn't see its big breakthrough until 1968 when electronic music pioneer Wendy Carlos released Switched On Bach, a collection of Bach pieces performed on the Moog. With Mort Garson's synthesized soundtrack to the Apollo 11 mission happening the very next year it put the Moog into the public eye. 1969 saw another landmark moment in electronic music history with the release of Amen Brother by The Winstons. Put a pin in that cause it will come up a lot later on.

So it's the 1970s now and every nerd ass band from ELO and ELP to Goblin and Gryphon is using the Moog to whip up some very impressive keyboard solos. But this is an essay on electronic /dance/ music so where do we find the rhythm in all this nonsense? The same place that everyone else in the 70s found it-- Disco!² There are two huge names that were all over the disco charts by the mid 70s-- Donna Summer and Giorgio Moroder. Moroder produced a shitload of music, but the most influential was his work with Donna Summer. Namely the song I Feel Love.

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This is one of the most culturally significant pieces of music ever. Seriously it is up there with like Bach's Well Tempered Clavier³, the works of Hildegard Von Bingen⁴, and that Sahelanthropus with the rocks from earlier.⁵ The steady, hypnotic energy of the synth line captured the imaginations of audiences and artists alike. One of those artists was a DJ by the name of Larry Levan who worked as the resident DJ at the Paradise Garage nightclub in NYC. Levan had a bass heavy style that used drum machines and synthesizers and I Feel Love slotted right into his set.

While Larry Levan's sound would go on to define house music there are also two other DJs from the 70s who were massive influences on the burgeoning club scene. Firstly DJ Kool Herc, the father of hip hop music. He brought the Jamaican tradition of toasting, or rhythmically speaking over an instrumental, into the mainstream. Combined with his signature break beats he is considered the first rapper and hip hop musician. Walter Gibbons is the last of our holy trinity of 70s DJs. Gibbons pioneered the remix and the beat juggle as well as popularized 12" singles.

Now the stage is nearly set for the 1980s. We have the DJ set, rapping, beat making, turntablism, remix culture, and synths. There's just one problem-- we haven't talked about Jamaica yet. Now I'm debating how far back I should go, it would be funny to just jump back to like 59 and start talking the origins of ska. But I've given myself a pretty easy inlet with Kool Herc and Gibbons. The influence of Jamaican DJs is deeply ingrained into our music culture. So in the early 70s reggae was starting to be a well defined genre and one of the tendencies was to put instrumentals on the b-sides of the singles. These instrumental versions were irresistible to DJs looking for loopable bass and drum tracks. Soon remixing these reggae instrumentals took on a life of its own spurred on by the likes of ska pioneer Lee "Scratch" Perry, the aforementioned DJ Cool Herc and Walter Gibbons and a stable of other artists the genre of Dub music started to form. By the late 70s dub was starting to be a major influence in us and uk club music. And now all the pieces are in place for the 1980s. For real this time.⁶

The 80s saw an explosion in electronic music. The price of synths were going down and the number of artists integrating them into their work skyrocketed. What synths were capable of was also rapidly expanding. The Prophet-5, introduced in 78, had the ability to store sounds for playback which was the dawning of the era of sampling. The synths had also moved from analog to digital playback. The synclavier was the first fully digital synth⁷ and the sound difference is very noticeable. Now analog vs digital is one of the most irritating debates in all of music nerd-dom so understand that when I say analog synths have a warmer fuzzier sound that is a morally neutral statement. They are not better than digital synths and they aren't worse either. The ability for digital synths to produce a clean sine wave was novel at the time and artists embraced the sterile sound for what it could do. Synth pop and new wave artists made liberal use of the bleeps and bloops of these early digital synths but the dance scene was completely exploding. I Feel Love had ushered in the first electronic dance music genre Hi-NRG, yes it is really called that. Hi-NRG was basically just any disco song that used mainly synths. The Hi-NRG and synth pop scenes of the 90s were deeply intertwined with acts like Frankie Goes To Hollywood and New Order dipping into both sides. But the core of the Hi-NRG scene was the gay bdsm club culture of the 80s. And they were not ashamed or trying to play it coy or anything. Just check out these song titles-- It's Raining Men by The Weathergirls, Menergy by Patrick Cowley, Megatron Man also by Patrick Cowley and released the same year as Menergy! Man 2 Man released a song called Male Stripper. Everything good about the 80s belongs to gay black men and drag queens. Where was I?

Ok so the takeaway is that these songs were very intense, rigid, ryhthmically focused tracks and it was an inevitability that DJs would want to start playing around with the instrumentals. So we return to Larry Levan whose focus on synth heavy beats would go on to influence DJs to start playing with melodic synths and samples. Samplers started to become more affordable and specialized in the 80s and they let producers really transform a track. In comes Franky Knuckles, a close friend⁸ of Larry Levan. A Chicago gay club called The Warehouse hired him as a regular DJ and he gained popularity bumping disco and Hi-NRG music. As disco was entering its death throes Knuckles started playing around with tracks to reinvigorate old songs. Looping intros, beat switches, sampling. More and more the instrumental became the centerpiece with vocal samples being relegated to just another instrument in the mix. This new genre of music would bear the name of the club it originated at. House music was born.

As house was becoming a force to be reckoned with another titan rose from the primordial disco soup-- Techno. Where the house scene preferred the melodic elements of Hi-NRG tracks a trio from Detroit would start to strip down tracks to their bare ryhthmic essentials. Derrick May, Kevin Saunderson, and Juan Atkins. Anyone who has ever listened to EDM has certainly heard a track made by, or that samples one of these artists. Hell I'd wager that anyone who has ever listened to a 90s DJ mix has heard the song Strings Of Life by Derrick May. The early Detroit techno scene was a mix of four on the floor Hi-NRG beats with early hip hop and kraftwerk influences thrown in. A lot of these early tracks actually used vocoders for vocals and these more kraftwerk inspired tracks with vocals are usually lumped into the electro subgenre. A lot of early electro was literally just Juan Atkins under various pseudonyms. Cybotron, 3MB, Model 500, Channel One, and Infinity are all Juan Atkins projects. The other two Detroit techno originators-- Kevin Saunderson and Derrick May had a stronger tendency to be actively influenced by Frankie Knuckles and the house scene to the point where a lot of their late 80s-90s work is more house than techno. By the 90s the two sounds had blended a bit until the standard techno sound had brought some of the thumping bass of house and dropped Electro's fascination with Kraftwerk but kept the mechanical rigidity.

Internet experts and armchair art aficionados will argue back and forth about the precise elements that separate house and techno, but aside from the tendency for house to emphasize harmonic elements and techno to prefer the purely rhythmic the only real meaningful difference is that house is from Chicago and techno is from Detroit. What about artists that are from neither? Good luck. There is a lot of crossover and the further you go the more you realize that house and techno are cousins who have been fucking nonstop and producing weirder and weirder offspring. Is it deep house or ambient techno?⁹ Is tech house a subgenre of techno or house?¹⁰ As an expert on the subject I can only answer these with about 70% accuracy so don't worry about it. Just trust that if someone says they're showing you house it will be house and if they say techno it will be techno.¹¹

In order to get to jungle we are going to have to take several detours. The first stop is going to be a short jump back to house music and an influential track by DJ Pierre under the moniker Phuture called Acid Tracks. DJ Pierre had purchased an unpopular bass synth called the Roland TB-303. The 303 was a synth with a less than stellar default sound so, and I'm just gonna quote DJ Pierre himself here "we didn’t know how to programme it. We had it synched up, and it was playing some stuff, and I started just tweaking knobs and turning stuff" The resulting track had a squelchy sound which emphasized textural modulation of a steady bassline. Pierre and cohorts were Chicago natives, but the acid sound would take off hardest across the pond where it became the defining sound of the Manchester and London rave scenes. UK rave would push the intensity of the tracks harder while adding extra bells and whistles. Like literally lots of bell and whistles noises. And sirens, hell of a lotta sirens. But most importantly were the breakbeats. Instrumental segments from funk and soul tracks sped up and looped have always been essential but one particular drum break would go on to redefine electronic music. We are now pulling the pin we put in Amen Brother by The Winstons way back at the start of this saga. The seven second drum break in the middle of the song became the foundation on which jungle was built.

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So we have two bars of a normal funk beat, then in the third bar the last drum kick is dropped and the snare hit is delayed. The fourth measure partially inverts the beat to create a highly syncopated rhythm. The beat has a natural hiccup in the end of the third measure that creates a nice texture when sped up and it can be very cleanly cut up and rearranged. It has been used in everything. Every fucking thing. Straight Outta Compton by NWA, Firestarter by The Prodigy, Eyeless by Slipknot, the theme songs to Futurama and The Powerpuff Girls. It pops up anywhere and everywhere.

So when we take acid house, dub, and the Amen break and stir it all up into one pot in the UK rave scene you get jungle. Deep languid dub basslines with high energy breakbeats with the gritty modulated synths of acid. It was a moodier sound than previous types of club music and I'll spare you the essay about Thatcherite England and just say that socioeconomic situations made that an appealing style to British clubgoers. Eventually jungle became popular enough that major record labels were interested in signing electronic artists for the first time. And if you know anything about the relationship between the arts and mainstream audiences then you know that this is the end of jungle. By the mid 90s many prominent jungle artists including Roni Size, A Guy Called Gerald, and 4hero had started to strip down their music removing much of the dub and rave influences and trending towards faster breaks with simpler basslines. This new style was called drum & bass. The new style was less danceable than jungle but the records sold better among general¹² audiences so by the end of the 90s jungle had almost completely died out in favor of drum & bass. The fact that the slightly less club friendly genre had beat out a titan of the rave scene caused a bit of bad blood that was only exacerbated by the negative reputation that was being unfairly heaped on the jungle scene. And that is why, while few care if you mistake techno and house, mixing up jungle and dnb is a death sentence in certain circles.

I'm cutting it here. I've barely touched on rave, hardcore, hardstyle, gabber, trance, and other club music. I could go on about the history of dubstep and how we just completely ruined it when it came to the US. Brian Eno and the development of ambient music. The development of breakcore and digital hardcore. There's just so much, but the point of all this was basically just to explain why it's a faux pas to mistake jungle and dnb. I could teach a college course on this. I should be allowed to teach a college course on this. I want to get paid to teach a college course on this. Ok bye, remember you asked for this.

¹Pronounced /ˈmoʊɡ/ MOHG like the Elden Ring boss not /'muːg/ like a weird cow might say

²I could write forever about how this much maligned offshoot of funk is both an enjoyable genre of music and essential for appreciating black and LGBTQ culture. But other users have gone over it at least as well as I could so I'll just leave this as an annoying footnote

³google "even temperament" if you want to know more. It's really interesting!

⁴first known named composer, polymath, and psychedelic substance expert. Hildy is my medieval waifu~~

⁵truly the first "rock" musician

⁶an outright lie on my part, but I've already written ~800 words and I'm barely past Disco so let's move on

⁷forgive my second outright lie, it was merely the first commercially available digital synth. The first digital synthesizer is technically the IBM-704 from 1957

⁸I can find no evidence that they were in a relationship, but Levan was an out and proud gay man and Knuckles played to almost exclusively gay audiences so it's not a stretch

⁹easy really if it sounds like half the instrument are missing it's ambient techno, if it sounds like the whole track has been put through a low pass filter it's deep house

¹⁰house

¹¹and if they say dubstep then you are about to hear a bastardized American strain of riddim and tearout that has only the most strenuous connection to actual dubstep

¹²lets be real I mean white

#sorry for the footnotes i got halfway theough wroting this before realizing they would be pointless on tumblr #so they just wound up being an homage to terry pratchett i guess

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