#and then all the energy would be released into that

[thanosscross]

Double, Double, Combo- Choi Seung Hyun/T.O.P x reader + Twin! Ji-Yong: part 2

Summary: After finally being cleared to perform again, you were determined to show the boys that nobody could perform like you did. Ending with you and your brother's groups celebrating a good tour so far, causing feelings to be brought to the surface between you and your brother's best friend

Warnings: Reader getting drunk <3, other than that none lovelies!

Translations!:

Oppa: Older Brother

Yeo-Dongsaeng: Younger sister

Umma: Mother/mom

Aein: Sweetheart

As always if I've mistranslated something, or missused a word, please let me know! As I am very rusty in Korean, I am learning though! <33

Watching the boys perform your set, you were in awe, mainly over how into it the boys were, each of them hitting every mark for the choreography, doing better than they would have with their own. Whenever you were finally cleared to return back to work, you were determined to show them up, wanting to prove to them and your fans, nobody could do your concerts like you do.

"Yeo-Dongsaeng!" Ji-Yong shouted, marching his way up to the stage as you panted loudly, trying your best to catch your breath before he made it to you. "Yes? Can I help you?" You asked, tilting your head slightly, knowing exactly what he was going to bring up "What changes are you making? And why did you tell YG to not tell me what they are?" He asked sternly, not liking the idea of you having full control over something, it wasn't that he didn't trust you, he did, he just didn't trust your free-will decisions. "It's fine! It's fine! Dae-Sung, and the girls are helping!" You smiled, trying to assure your brother that you had everything under control. Ji-Yong just huffed, whining softly "Just tell me!" He groaned, letting his head fall back as you just shook your head "Nope! You'll see tomorrow night at the show" You smiled, knowing your specific moves you had changed, were perfectly timed to Ji-Yong being off stage during a costume change.

Whenever the time would come for your section of the show, you'd be a nervous wreck, standing on your mark as you started to lowly sing into the microphone. Your album you and group had just released meant a lot to you, after constantly being seen as 'the baby of k-pop' you were determined to show the industry that you were a grown woman now. Swinging your hips to the music, you held your note, following the backtrack in your earpiece as you moved your hands down your torso, biting your lip as you smiled. As you smirked, you slowly slid to your knees, almost moaning the ending lyrics of your song as the music faded out. Your back-up dancers and the girls made their way to their next mark as you panted softly, glancing to the camera that filmed your performance and broadcasted to the big screen, smirking as you bit your bottom lip, bouncing back up to your feet to make your way over to your spot. Noticing as Seung Hyun stood off to the side of the stage, watching in shock before giving you a soft, sly smirk, causing a blush to rise on your cheeks.

You laughed softly as you heard the arena screaming loudly, knowing your brother would hear it, at least YG would be happy about the positive feedback to your last minute change in choreography. You'd have fun the rest of the show, your body getting the much-needed rest it lacked, allowing you to put your all into the performance, while not completely draining your body of every ounce of energy. Rushing off stage, you smiled brightly, turning around to face your group members, squealing loudly as you celebrated the successful show. "What. Was. That?" Ji-Yong asked, his tone was stern, giving you a harsh, protective glare "That was your sister making history, that boy groups aren't the only mature ones in K-pop" You huffed, turning your back to your brother, who just turned you back around by your shoulder "That was you doing something that Umma won't be happy about" He rephrased your statement, causing you to giggle softly "Umma saw it first, said I look beautiful" You smirked, watching as he stared in shock "You can do that and Umma doesn't get upset, but I have to hide tattoos!?" Ji-Yong laughed, you relaxed a little bit hearing him start to joke around, showing he wasn't too upset about your dance moves.

Whenever you all made it back to your shared hotel suite, you were all quick to let loose, knowing you had a three day break in-between shows, you were all going to enjoy it, with alcohol. While You and Ji-Yong were extremely similar, whenever you both were drunk? You were complete opposites. Ji-Yong ended up turning into the princess of the group, not wanting to move unless necessary, constantly fanning his face like he was royalty, or constantly gossiping your secrets, unless you had gotten to him first to stop him; You were outgoing, loud, and confrontational, always wanting to have the best time possible. As you danced around the suite with your bandmate, you weren't aware of your brother's gossiping to the group of guys a few feet away. "Y/n likes Seung Hyun, but DO NOT tell him, cause she lovesss him" He slurred, smiling softly as Seung Hyun blushed brightly, all eight of you were either tipsy, or drunk, there was no in between. Skipping over to the boys, right as your brother finished his sentence "Oppppa! What'd you say?" You accused, glaring at your brother as he was quick to cover his face laughing "Ji-Yong! What'd you say!" You repeated yourself, feeling your frustrations start to grow as he stood up "I told them you like Seung Hyun" He stated, before grabbing your hand gently "Listen to me, Yeo-Donsaeng! You two are meant for each other! You're perfect together!" He argued, you just huffed "No! You listen to me!" You shot back, poking his chest "Okay...I'm listening.." Ji-Yong replied, tilting his head, the others sitting and watching the two of you, it was already entertaining to watch you both argue, but it was even funnier watching you both argue while drunk. "What are you listening to? I wanna hear! Please!" You gasped, clearly too drunk to remember what the hell you were just talking about, jumping over to stand next to him as you looked around curiously, Seung Hyun couldn't hold back his laugh as he heard you. You just continued bouncing in your spot, looking at Ji-Yong expectantly "I'm listening to you!" He laughed loudly, holding your shoulders gently as he calmed your jumping "Oh! Ohh~" You stated, piecing together what was going on, your expression going from excited to frustrated again. "I like Seung Hyun! I don’t like you right now, Ji! So stop spilling my business to everybody!" You argued, poking your brother's cheek as he tried to keep his balance, the alcohol starting to hit you both. "Seee! I told you, Seung Hyun!" Ji-Yong slurred, turning to his tipsy friend, watching as he just chuckled and shook his head "Stop! You're telling my business, oppa!" You whined loudly, smacking your brother's chest quickly, he just huffed, grabbing your wrists as gently as he could "I'm not! I just want to see my yeo-dongsaeng happy!" He replied, almost like he was begging you to get with Seung Hyun already, you just huffed "I'd be happier if you stopped" Smiling playfully at him, your pout returned quickly as Ji-Yong just quickly shook his head "Rude, I oughta...I'm calling Umma!" You shouted, rushing to your phone as your bandmate snatched it first, giggling, Seung Hyun and Tae-Yang quickly restraining you and your brother. "I think, you two should go to bed" Tae-Yang laughed softly, watching as you went limp in Seung Hyun's arms, trying to make it harder for him to carry you. Seung Hyun just lifted you up, effortlessly carrying you while following behind his two other friends "Wait! I wanna sleep in Ji's room!" You protested as the boys forced you to part ways, your statement causing Seung Hyun to turn around quickly, rushing to catch back up with Tae-Yang and your brother.

As you laid in the hotel room bed, you huffed, everybody was either laying down or asleep now, and your brother was taking all of the blankets, leaving you to freeze. "Ji..Ji" you whispered, trying to shake him, or at least take some blankets back, he just stayed in his spot, sleeping peacefully. You sat up, determined to find another blanket or something, you were NOT cuddling with your brother in order to share the blanket, he'd probably try and smother you anyways. Standing up, you turned around to see your options, your bandmates had all made make-shift beds in the floor, and your brother's bandmates were fast asleep in their beds, making it seem like a real sleepover. As you tiredly made your way out of the bedroom area of the suite, you went into your room, snatching your blanket off of the bed, before going right back to the other room. You crawled into what you thought was the giant bed that you and your twin were currently sharing, instead never noticing the tall, older bandmember fast asleep with his back turned to you.

As Seung Hyun felt someone lay down next to him, he slowly turned his head to try and see who, relaxing whenever he saw the soft f/c of your nightshirt. "Y/n, Aein, you're in the wrong bed" He chuckled, turning around slowly to fully face you. At this point, you weren't concerned with any of it, the tiredness and remaining bits of alcohol in your system made you worried about one thing, warmth. Whenever Seung Hyun turned, you could practically feel his body heat radiating off of him, causing you to quickly scoot closer, pressing your body against his as you wrapped your arms around him tightly "J-Ji took the blankets, it's cold in here" You whispered, trying to find the best position to lay in to warm up the fastest, Seung Hyun just laughed softly, wrapping an arm around you to pull you closer. "Stop wiggling like a worm, and come here" He laughed, watching as you pulled his blanket up to your cheeks "I can't help it, you're really fucking warm" You giggled blushing as Seung Hyun pulled you even closer, your head and chest now laying on his, you suddenly became very sober and very aware of the closeness with your crush, his heartbeat racing, how amazingly warm he somehow was, how soft his hair felt whenever it brushed against your face anytime he'd let his head fall while laughing. "Ladies say it's because T.O.P is just too hot" He chuckled playfully, you covered your mouth, trying your best to quiet your laughs "You're adorable, truly, you are" You managed to get out through your giggles, Seung Hyun just shaking his head, keeping his arm wrapped around you tightly "Are you feeling any warmer?" He whispered after a moment, frowning whenever you didn't reply, as he glanced down, his heart fluttered. You were sleeping peacefully with your head rested on his chest, your hand gently placed over his side as you held his hand loosely, Seung Hyun could feel his heart racing even more after that, almost like it was going to explode.

Waking up the next morning, you were met with your bandmates, brother, and his bandmates surrounding you and Seung Hyun excitedly “you two are so cuteee!” Dae-Sung smiled excitedly, hugging your brother in excitement “leave me aloneee!” Seung Hyun groaned tiredly, rolling to face away from all of the others, after a moment, he turned back around pulling the blankets over your heads “this is better, I can see you this way” he smiled, you were in awe with everything, his voice whenever he first woke up, his messy hair, his cute sleepy smile. “Thanks for keeping me warm last night, I really thought I was going to freeze to death at one point” you giggled softly, hugging him gently before gasping “they have a coffee bar downstairs..wanna go with me?” You smiled softly, watching as his eyes lit up “why did nobody tell me about that?!” He gasped, throwing the blankets off of you both, jumping to his feet before offering his hand to you. “We’re going to go get coffee!” You smiled excitedly, waving to your brother before rushing off with Seung Hyun. The both of you rushed down the hotel stairs, giggling like children as you made it to the breakfast area of the hotel, a counter covered in nothing but different coffees, syrups, sugars, flavoring.

As you both sat at one of the small tables, you giggled watching as Seung Hyun finished yet another cup of coffee that you had made for him “see! It's good! And you said my coffee looks like it’d give you a cavity!” You giggled, he just smiled at you softly shaking his head “it probably will! But it tastes good” He protested laughing softly, you just rolled your eyes, knowing he secretly loved the drink, lifting your cup to your lips taking a sip, you noticed Seung Hyun watching from over the rim of your mug. Placing the cup down you raised your eyebrow at him “can I help you?” You asked playfully, reaching to wipe your mouth before Seung Hyun grabbed your wrist gently, grimacing at the thought of you wiping the foam from your coffee off of your mouth with your hand, something you did often “that’s not very sanitary, Aein” he laughed before standing up, leaning over the table to press his lips against yours, your cheeks immediately heating up with a bright blush. Kissing him back softly, Seung Hyun’s hand slowly found its way to cup your cheek, you felt your stomach flip and your skin tingle as you slowly pulled away from him, offering him a sweet smile “what has gotten into you, Sir?” You asked teasingly, he laughed softly, fidgeting with his hands as he spoke “Well, technically speaking, three cups of coffee, emotionally? I have fallen for you hard, Kwon Y/n, harder than I have any women, and it’s confusing, but I want to be confused with you?” he explained, almost like he was questioning his words as he spoke, you smiled, swearing you could hear your own heartbeat racing as you rested a hand on his cheek “Well..I mean..I think it’s kind of obvious from my rant last night, I feel the same” you sheepishly admitted, remembering your ‘argument’ with your twin brother in front of everybody. “So we’re doing this?” Seung Hyun asked, taking your hand in his, trying to contain his excitement that was mixed with nervousness “I guess we are” you smiled shyly, bringing him closer to place your lips on his again, Seung Hyun could feel his body relax, hearing your confirmation and your lips against his. Almost like it was planned, the others walked in, looking at you both in shock “Oh My..god” Ji-Yong whispered watching as you quickly pulled away, hiding your face, unsure of his reaction. Ji-Yong was always trying to get you two together, so he should be excited..right?

—

You like lovelies? I tried adding a little more length this this part <3 I never really noticed how short they were until the other day scrolling through on my phone (I usually write on my laptop) so please let me know how you like it! And if you prefer longer fics like this or the shorter ones <33 excited to hear from you lovelies!! <333

—

Taglist!!!

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@ag02212023

@acehasmyheart

@mitchko11

@learninglinesintherainn

@seunghyunwifey

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@goodnight-n-go-home

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@cheese10001

[berfgrimm]

risk pt. 2 | choi su-bong (thanos) x reader

pairing: choi su-bong (thanos) x f!reader

warnings: smut, unprotected sex, oral, semi-public, name calling, pet names, biting, spitting, choking, dirty talking, switchy behavior, jealousy, brief mentions of violence/death, fluff, i think that’s it!

note: the second part to risk has arrived. thanks to everyone who has ready everything thus far, i hope you enjoy this as well! to clear up a little what i’m going to write, I generally tend to stick with smut with the occasional fluffy/angsty scenes. if that helps when anyone is requesting!

———————

You awake to trumpet fanfare filling the whole room. Opening your eyes and blinking a few times to adjust to the brightness, you immediately remember where you are; the idea of playing another ‘game’ makes your stomach turn. As you sit up in your bed, the memories of the night before flood your mind, so you look to Su-bong’s bunk only to find it empty. You frown, an odd feeling of disappointment washing over you.

You’re not sure what you expected. At first, when you beckoned Su-bong over to your bed, all you wanted was release and relaxation to make it through another day. But as your tryst progressed, you developed a new urge, a desire — you were hungry for more of Su-bong. Standing from your bed, your legs are weak; you can’t determine if the feeling was from all of the running during the game or from the multiple orgasms Su-bong pulled from you.

Maybe both, you think.

You move carefully to join the rest of the players, trying to casually scan the crowd for any sight of Su-bong’s purple locks. As soon as you get a glimpse of him, your heart gives a quick flutter, which surprises you. You notice that player 124 is practically glued to Su-bong’s side, and they both speak rapidly to one another. Just from the way they appear to be feeding off of one another’s excited energy, it’s not a conversation you want to join.

Instead, you wander aimlessly in the crowd, unsure of what to do with yourself. You try to think of something calming to help you relax, your body overwhelmed with a variety of emotions and sensation from the previous day. As you begin to zone out, someone bumps into you from behind, hitting you hard enough to make you lose your footing for a moment. Thankfully, someone catches you by your forearm, stopping you from falling.

“I’m so sorry! I wasn’t paying attention.” You glance over your shoulder to see who still has a hold on your arm to find player 388 looking worried. “Are you okay?” he asks.

“I’m fine,” you reply with a reassuring smile. “It’s okay, don’t worry.” You pat your hand on top of his, hoping that he would release his grip on you — a grip that, unfortunately, does nothing to help how wired you feel.

“Okay,” he nods, matching your smile. “I’m not sure where I’m going in such a rush; I’m not exactly looking forward to playing another game.” Your eyes flick to the ‘O’ patch on his shirt, and you let out a dry chuckle. The man follows where your gaze is, as if he forgot what was on his chest. “Oh,” he says, placing his hand over the patch for a moment. “It’s still scary. Not knowing what might be on the other side of the next door.”

“I guess,” you shrug. As the crowd begins to move towards the door, your newfound friend walks with you. Though you keep your gaze forward to move with the crowd, you notice player 388 glancing around a few times before he leans towards you.

“It’s going to be dalgona,” he whispers. “Pick a triangle; it’s the easiest.” Before you can respond, he eases past you to head towards the group he was with before; he sends one more look over his shoulder, giving you a thumbs up and a smile. Confused, you return the smile, albeit more confused, losing sight of him in the crowd.

When your group travels up the stairs of the winding labyrinth, you spot Su-bong every so often, his purple hair not hard to miss. He’s dozens of people away from you, still chattering with the player from before. You sigh, flowing with the rest of the group as you finally enter a new large room.

There are two colorful circles on either side of the room, like a track, with several tables manned by guards at various intervals. It didn’t look like dalgona but maybe it was somehow related; player 388 seemed so confident.

The game is explained to be several smaller games within the track, none of which you are particularly good at. You’re directed to split into teams and you immediately locate Su-bong in the crowd. He has two other people with him, the start of his team, so you decide to casually stroll past him to get an invite to the team. To be fair, he’s your only friend in this place, if you could call him that.

When you breeze past him, you try to ignore the feeling his proximity gives you. In your mind, he was going to stop you and beg you to join his team, but in reality, he doesn’t even acknowledge your presence. You’d be lying if you said it didn’t hurt your feelings, only a little bit; when he made promises of a rendezvous the next day, was he trying to brush you off?

Dejected and annoyed, you find another team to join with other ‘X’ voters, huddling together as you wait for the game to begin. Much to your dismay, Su-bong and his team choose to sit directly in front of you. He still doesn’t look at you, but instead starts flirting with the girl on his team.

Why does this have you in your feelings? You’ve had one-night stands before and never thought twice about them, so why is this one a problem? Is it the proximity? You can’t pinpoint what the cause of your hurt feelings might be, but watching him try to impress this other girl after his head was between your legs last night only makes you madder. When he spares a quick glance over his shoulder to you, a smug smirk on his face, before he looks back to his teammate, it takes all of your might not to yank him by his hair so you can…kiss him? Slap him? You don’t know yet, but you want to get your hands on him either way, which only pisses you off more.

Self-satisfied little shit, you think, rolling your eyes, deciding the best option is to ignore him for now.

Something about your anger causes you to focus harder on the game, helping motivate your team through a successful run at the six-leg race. Sure, it wasn’t perfect, but you stayed calm and survived, which is the most important part.

On your way back to the dormitory, you pass the bathroom doors, and it gets an idea brewing in your mind. If you can get Su-bong alone, you can get the rest of whatever the hell this feeling is out of your system, and focus on getting out of this place. But the desire, the need you feel in your body for him is beginning to become unbearable.

Back in the dorm, you don’t immediately realize that you’re stalking around the front of the room, every so often looking towards Su-bong and his teammates. In your mind you beg for him to see you, but he’s too focused on his conversation. You continue to slowly walk back and forth, a hum in your bones that you have to satiate. If he would just fucking look at you.

As though he hears your thoughts, Su-bong raises his head from the conversation he’s in, and glances around the room. When he finds you, walking back and forth like you’re stalking your prey, his gaze softens from the smugness you’ve seen throughout the day, to something more mischievous. You finally cease pacing and pull in a deep breath, eyes locked with Su-bong’s, daring him to do something. He drops his head back against the frame of the bed behind him, making sure that you’re still looking at him. He tugs at the fabric of his pants, pulling them away from his crotch as if to give himself some relief, and fuck, if that doesn’t send a shiver through your body.

You clench your hands into fists and pull in a slow breath. Su-bong laughs quietly, hand covering his mouth to shield his smile. When he looks at you again, you glance towards the exit door then back to him, putting the suggestion in the air. Without waiting for him to indicate one way or another, you move swiftly towards the door, informing the guard you need to use the restroom.

The journey to the bathroom feels longer than you remember, and it is excruciating. Your body is so heated, it almost begins to feel cold, each step towards the bathroom making your body throb with desire. When you reach the bathrooms, you pause, not sure which room to choose so that Su-bong knows where to find you — with what you know of him, you’re sure he’ll expect you to go into the men’s room to accommodate him. Making your way inside, you wash your hands at the sink, nerves coursing through your body as you wait to see if Su-bong joins you.

Briefly, your mind wanders to just why you would be feeling so out of control. You’ve never been in a life or death situation like this before, so maybe your emotions are scattered as an effect. Your body is reacting to trauma and as a defense you’re horny? That can’t be right. Maybe it’s just Su-bong and the way he was desperate to get you off three times the night before, without asking for anything in return. That was a change; most men you would involve yourself with would be selfish, and Su-bong certainly seemed like he might be the same way, but he surprised you.

“Thinking about me?” You hadn’t realized that you were still standing at the sink, washing your hands, zoned out as you got lost in your thoughts. You find Su-bong’s reflection in the mirror behind you, leaning against the edge of the row of stalls with his arms crossed over his chest. “After I saw you flirting with that guy, I’m surprised you want to be alone with me,” he adds, with a small laugh. “I thought you’d have other plans.”

“388?” you smirk, shutting the water off as you turn to face him. “I said maybe three words to him; it was a brief conversation. You must have already been watching me to see that.” Su-bong doesn’t appear even remotely ashamed that he’d been caught, which throws a wrench in your plan to have him as weak as you feel. “After last night,” you start with a shrug. “I thought you’d want to be on a team with me.” You kick yourself for sounding childish, but you notice Su-bong doesn’t look smug, like you’d expect when you’re being so needy; he’s more pensive, really trying to find the right words.

“I didn’t want to share you with them,” he says, after a moment. “Why should they get to know you when I’d rather keep you to myself? I’d be too jealous.”

“Oh, yeah?” you ask. “Didn't take you for the jealous type.” He nods his head, dropping his hands to his sides and walking closer to you; you almost expect him to look shy at the mention of jealousy but instead he looks determined. “So that girl you flirted with right in front of me today,” you begin, as he closes in on you. “What was that for exactly? Payback?”

“Well,” he grins, almost shyly. “I liked how you looked at me when you saw me talking to her. You looked angry and jealous…it was cute. Maybe you want me all to yourself, too.” He grasps your hips, turning your back to him, and pinning you between his body and the sink. You watch him through the mirror as he stares down between your bodies, looking at the way your ass presses against him.

“You had me on my knees last night, but you wanted to wait until today,” you mutter, holding onto the sink for leverage to grind yourself against him. “Why is that? You could have done anything you wanted to me.” He finds your eyes through the mirror, his eyebrows furrowing as he starts to grind with you. “You still can,” you whisper, feeling your heart pound in your chest. “I’ll do whatever you want.”

You can practically see the wheels turning in Su-bong’s head as he envisions the possibilities. The tips of his fingers curl under the waistband of your pants, his eyes still on you through the mirror. You don’t stop grinding against him, only adding a little more pressure when you feel him getting harder.

“Let me make you feel as good as you made me feel last night,” you whisper, softly, the friction igniting that spark that’s been glowing within you all day.

“Mmm,” Su-bong hums, one of his hands shifting around to your back to press his palm against your spine to stop your movements. “Is that what you’ve been thinking about all day?” He slides his hand down towards the waistband of your pants, fingers catching the material along with your panties. He tugs the clothing down your backside until he’s able to slip his hand between your thighs from behind. “What were you thinking of doing to me that made you like this?” he breathes, locking eyes with you again through the mirror as his fingers brush through your damp folds. “Or…were you thinking about someone else?”

“I feel like you’ve been in my bones since last night,” you admit, closing your eyes and rolling against his hand. “And I’ve needed to touch you all fucking day just to calm whatever this is you started in me.”

“I dreamt about this last night,” he says, a cocky grin on his lips. “How pretty you looked, how good you tasted.” He retracts his hand, not breaking eye contact as he sucks the taste of you from his fingertips. “I don’t want to waste any of it,” he adds.

Tired of the teasing and having to wait so long, you gently shove him away from you, pulling your pants back into their correct position. You brush past Su-bong, and duck into a stall. When you look back towards Su-bong, he walks closer, now watching you carefully. The roles have reversed from earlier as he paces a few steps back and forth with his gaze set on you. You remove your jacket from your arms and drape it over the top of the stall.

“Did you just want to watch?” you ask, placing your hand on your breast and squeezing, tempting him to come closer. “I could put on a good show for you, but we’d both have more fun if you joined.”

Su-bong saunters towards you, and you take a step back into the stall to give him room to enter. He pulls the door shut behind him, engaging the lock so you have as much privacy as you can. For a moment, he stares into your eyes, studying them before his gaze travels further down your face to stop at your lips. He lets out a slow, slightly shuddered breath that echoes in the small space of the stall.

“Like I said,” you start, voice low. “Anything you want.”

“I want to kiss you,” he explains. “But last night, you seemed like maybe that wasn’t what you wanted?”

“No, you just caught me off guard, that’s all,” you nod, grasping his hips, pulling him against you. “Kiss me.”

As though something snaps inside of him, Su-bong closes the small gap between you, taking hold of your jaw with one hand and placing his other hand on your hip. He keeps you pressed against the wall as his lips lock with yours, already slipping his tongue into your mouth. He moves like he’s desperate, small hums of want rasping in him as his fingers that are on your jaw drift to your throat.

Your hands, still on his hips, fist his clothing to pull him harder against you, not able to get enough of the warmth from his body. For a fleeting moment, you wonder what it would be like to be in his bed with him, completely naked, able to touch every inch of his body. Just the thought of it drives you crazy, and you let out a moan that you don’t expect. Of course, Su-bong laughs in response, so you bite his lip — he did say he likes a little bit of pain.

Su-bong groans, his hand that was on your hip now slipping under your shirt to grope your breast harder than he had the night before. You can feel him grinding against you, just as desperate for the friction as you. In an effort to help him, and to get what you want as well, you shift your weight on your feet, easing your knee between his thighs enough to press against his crotch.

“Shit,” Su-bong hisses, breaking the kiss and dropping his forehead against the crook of your neck. You’re surprised by the lazy way he moves his hips along your thigh, so slowly you’re not even sure if he’s moving intentionally or if he’s trembling.

Briefly you wonder how long it’s been for him since he’s had any sexual contact. The way he acts makes you feel like it’s been some time, but someone like him, famous, attractive, with the illusion of being rich…one would think he can get any girl he wants, whenever he wants. But you did see him strike out with two different women since you’ve met him.

The sensation of Su-bong’s tongue licking a path from your neck towards your ear pulls you from your thoughts. His teeth connect with your earlobe, tugging on it, you feel like something snaps inside of you. Quickly, you shove him against the opposite wall by his shoulders, taking note of his surprised reaction as you lower to your knees. The stall doesn’t afford you much space, so you’re forced to angle yourself in a way to stick your legs somewhat under the stall door. Hopefully no one comes in.

Su-bong unzips his jacket, tossing it on the wall atop yours, and untucks his shirt, pulling it up to his ribs to make your next actions easier. You hook your fingers in the waist of his pants, catching the elastic of his briefs and tugging both down to his thighs.

You can’t think of anything else except the look of relief on Su-bong’s face as you wrap your fingers around his length. Still, he’s strained, that’s obvious; he’s just as frenzied on the inside as you are.

“This is what I’ve been thinking about all day,” you whisper, leaning towards him and licking the precum from his tip. He groans at the sensation, his hand cupping your jaw to urge you to take him into your mouth. You oblige, not needing much convincing, and you take his head between your lips, swirling your tongue around it.

“Wait,” he says, stopping you. He stoops enough where he can slip his hand down your pants, fingers collecting some of your juices before carefully retracting his hand. When he stands upright, his eyes focused on your face, he uses your slick to stroke over his length. “Tell me how good we taste together,” he breathes, finally releasing his grip on himself to allow you to do what you want.

You stroke your hand over his now slick erection, making sure it’s coated before you take him into your mouth again. You relax your jaw, taking him deeper and deeper while stroking along what you haven’t fit into your mouth. When you finally have him as deep as you can take him, hitting the back of your throat, you stay for a moment, letting him feel the sensation of your throat trying to accommodate him.

We taste really fucking good together, you think.

“Fuck,” he hisses, knocking his head against the wall behind him, and licking the taste of you from his fingers to savor the entire situation. “We don’t have a lot of time; I won’t last long if you do things like that.” It’s a warning that tempts you — a challenge to see how fast you can get him off. But the rational part of your brain would rather take a little more time enjoying it.

You pull off of him, letting out a raspy breath, and stroking your hand over his length. Once you catch your breath, you slip him into your mouth again, bobbing your head along with the strokes of your hand. You set a pace and hollow out your cheeks, taking him deeper with each bob of your head.

“I knew you’d be good at this,” he admits. “I could tell when you were on your knees last night. You looked so pretty, I knew you were used to it.” You feel a flip in your stomach at his words; is he calling you a slut?

You can feel him very lightly begin to rock his hips against your face, and you feel elated at the prospect of what he might be preparing to do. You release your hand from his length and solely use your mouth to work him, picking up the pace as you feel him hit the back of your throat with each bob. Tilting your gaze upward, you see him watching you with his jaw slack, and one hand brace on the stall wall across from him to keep him upright.

“You’d like that?” he rasps, moving his hips with more purpose to meet your movements. “For me to fuck your mouth?” You hum an affirmative response around us length and he groans at the sensation. “Let me see,” he mutters, easing you off of him, to get you how he wants you.

You don’t immediately realize that you do it, but as you peer up at him, your mouth opens and your tongue sticks out, preparing for him again. The glint in Su-bong’s eyes is enough to make you even wetter, watching him lean over to cup your jaw. You realize what he wants to do, you can see the question in his eyes so you give a small nod of approval. He smirks then takes hold of your chin, spitting once into your mouth.

“So dirty,” he grins, pushing your mouth closed.

“I told you: anything you want.”

Su-bong’s smile widens, back to the mischievous grin that you’d seen a few times before. He takes both of your hands, lacing your fingers and pinning your hands on the wall outstretched above your head. He rests against them for support, then juts his hips forward to ease his length back into your mouth.

“Wider,” he instructs, watching you from above. You do as you’re told, opening your mouth as wide as you’re able to, affording him the room to begin thrusting.

His moves are slow at first, testing the waters to see how much you could take. You keep your jaw slack, allowing him to use you for whatever he wants. You haven’t felt so filthy in your life as far as you can recall, and you blame the insanity of the games for your desperation.

“Eyes up,” Su-bong commands, and you once again listen, no questions asked. “You listen so well. It’s sexy.” He thrusts against you with more force, driving his member deeper down your throat.

Your eyes start to water and you can see him hesitate for a moment, as if he’s worried he is hurting you, but you give a small shake of your head to let him know you’re okay. The approval from you seems to drive him on, urging him to thrust more forcefully, bumping your head against the wall. You moan around him — more of a muffled whimper, loving how he makes you feel for pleasuring him. Su-bong groans, tipping his head back to mutter something you can’t decipher.

With another thrust, he keeps himself buried in your throat, and you gag around his length. You know you can handle it, but you can tell Su-bong is watching you like a hawk for any signs that it’s too much. Your throat contracts around him and your eyes water even more as you struggle, but you briefly think you’d rather die like this than face the guns outside.

When you finally need to breathe, you squeeze Su-bong’s hands to signal for him to pull back, which he immediately does. You take in a sharp breath, coughing on some saliva as you try to regulate your breathing.

“If you come home with me, I’ll vote to leave tonight,” he says, breathless himself as he releases your hands. “Was that your plan all along? To seduce me into leaving?”

“Don’t be silly,” you whisper, with a grin, taking his erection into your hand and slipping him into your mouth once again.

To give your throat a bit of a break, you don’t take him all the way to the back of your mouth, but you suck more harshly on him, jerking your hand along with the movements. You can feel how wet you’ve become from the interaction, and how much more on edge you’ve become; you’re desperate for some relief. You slip your free hand into your panties, touching your clit to relieve the pressure that you didn’t realize had built up. You start to moan around his length, needy and desperate moans that you never have dreamt you were capable of making.

“If this is what happens when I ignore you, what do I get when I’m good?” Su-bong asks.

The question sends a sensation straight through your body, stopping between your thighs, and you rub yourself faster, clenching around nothing. The way he sounds when he speaks, that deep voice somehow even lower, but desperate and raspy. You never thought you’d be this turned on from how weak you could get a man. You take your time pulling him from your mouth, giving a sultry pop with your lips, and then keep your hand stroking at the same pace while you peer up at him.

“I bet you don’t realize how sexy that sounds,” you say, quietly, your voice barely escaping your throat. Su-bong cradles your head and you nuzzle against his hand in return, not looking away from his face for fear of missing out on the way he looks while being pleasured.

“If it was you and me in my bed,” he begins, breathless. “I’d never let you leave.”

“How would you make me stay?” You still tease your clit, not trying to get off yet, but still trying to feel less pressure.

“I’d tie you up if I had to,” he mutters, licking his lips at the sight of your hand in your pants. You’ve never given much thought to being tied up before but …if anyone could convince you to try, you imagine it would be him. With your eyes still on his face, you lean back towards him and swirl your tongue around his tip while you still stroke with your hand. When you blow cool air where you just licked, his body visibly tenses. “F-fuck,” he stutters, dropping his hands to your shoulders and pushing you away from him. “Hold on a minute.”

“Did that almost get you off?” you grin up at him, more pleased with yourself than you rightfully should be. He doesn’t respond, his head dropped back against the wall as he takes in slow breaths to calm down. You soothingly rub your hands up his thighs and then grasp him by the hips to help support your weight as you stand up.

Su-bong finally looks at you, his lips parted slightly to let out soft pants and his cheeks flushed with a tinge of pink. It makes your head reel thinking that you’re the one who made him feel and look like this out of control. He runs his hand through his hair as he searches for something to say.

“Are you usually like this?” you ask, tilting your head.

“What am I like?” he breathes, giving you a small kiss on the corner of your mouth.

“Desperate,” you laugh quietly, turning your head just a fraction to kiss him on the lips.

“Not like this,” he admits, smiling. “Never.” He looks at your hands, taking hold of the one that you had been using to touch yourself; he brings it to his lips, sliding your index and middle fingers into his mouth to clean them. “Mmm,” he hums, pulling them out when he is satisfied. “Do you want me to get on my knees now? I can give you whatever you need.“

“No,” you say, though you briefly think that you’ll remember the way he asked you that question for the rest of your life, however long that may be. “I want you to fuck me until I can’t take it anymore.” You can see the way he shifts into his ‘Thanos’ persona, stroking himself as he sizes you up with a smug smirk.

“Take them off,” he nods his head down towards your pants. You oblige, opting to kick your shoes off too so you’re able to remove your pants and underwear entirely.

For a moment, you feel shy, standing half naked in front of what is arguably a total stranger, but Su-bong still strokes his hand over his erection, licking his lips as he plans his next move. All of the formalities and hesitations are disregarded — the worry of being perceived as too needy or audacious in your desire for one another doesn’t matter anymore. It’s just the two of you and he needs it just as bad as you do.

Su-bong grasps your thigh, pulling it up to hold at his waist to give him access to you. At first, he keeps eye contact with you while he drags his erection back and forth through your folds, nor yet entering you. All you can do is let out a small sigh, hoping he stops the teasing but secretly loving every second of the torture.

He kisses you suddenly, and it’s such a tender kiss compared to the way he looks at you that you’re caught off guard. Your hands grasp his face softly, holding him in place to deepen the kiss; you can feel him smiling against your lips, and without warning, he slides himself inside of you all the way to the hilt.

“Oh, god,” you whisper, breaking the kiss, now grasping his shoulders and fisting his shirt.

“You feel like you were made for me,” he grinds out, getting a good stance so he’s able to pull almost all the way out of you, then slowly push back in. “Like you’ve been waiting your whole life…just to feel this.” He pushes his hips hard to thrust the rest of the way inside of you.

“Fuck,” you whine, fingers digging into his shoulders so hard you’re sure you’ll leave bruises. He grins at you, pulling back and thrusting hard again just to hear you moan.

The way he thrusts is as though he's less concerned with your pleasure and more concerned with showing off. You figure it might be the other women that he’s been with that have made him develop that habit, maybe they were too focused on hooking up with a disgraced celebrity that they didn’t pay attention to much else. But you needed Su-bong to get you off, you needed his best performance — at least within the given circumstances.

One of your hands plant onto the back of his head, pulling him closer to bury your face against his neck. You begin to nip along the line of his tattoo that comes down from behind his ear. Su-bong’s breath noticeably hitches from the contact, starting a steady pace of driving himself into you. When your mouth reaches the crook of his neck, you bite down harder, making the man jump, and thrust into you with more force than he intended.

“You love the pain as much as I do,” he points out, as you grab a handful of his hair and yank his head back so you can suck along his throat. “The way you squeeze me…I can tell. Imagine if I had the space to do what I really wanted to do…”

“If I’m comfortable acting like this when anyone could find us,” you begin. “Imagine how nasty I’d get for you in private.” Su-bong lets out a growl like he did the night before, and it gives you the same moan as it did the first time. He slips his hand between your bodies, rubbing your clit as he starts to thrust into you harder.

“It’s so easy to make you come,” he mutters, picking up the pace of his thrusts. “Three last night and I wasn’t even trying.” The smug tone would normally set you off into a frenzy to try to bring him down, but he was right; you did get off faster than normal and Su-bong didn’t even break a sweat.

“There you go,” Su-bong groans, as you try your best to keep your moans to a reasonable volume. Your hips rock against his thrusts, getting him deeper and deeper as your climax hits. “Mmm, that’s so pretty,” he whispers, barely slowing his thrusts as you ride the wave of your orgasm. You tremble in his arms, whining at how tender you feel, yet you wouldn’t tell him to stop.

The sudden sound of the door opening and several voices sends a panic through your body. You tense, and Su-bong clamps his hand over your mouth to silence you. His thrusts slow to shallow and gentle, which manages to drive you even crazier than the fast pace. You blink fast, trying to will away the moan that is stuck in your throat but it comes out in a barely there whimper.

“Don’t get us caught,” Su-bong warns quietly. You nod furiously in response but he does not let go of your mouth and you hope that the other occupants of the bathroom don’t hear your heavy breaths against his hand.

You try to contain yourself, listening to the sounds of the men in the bathroom who are talking idly about the games as they use the facilities. Your eyes start to slip closed but Su-bong gives a quick, hard thrust that makes you let out a muffled yelp in surprise, your eyes widening as you peer at him. He gives you a devious grin, each thrust now coming hard enough to jostle you in his grip. You furrow your eyebrows, trying to give him your most desperate, pleading look you can — if he keeps this up, each thrust hitting deep inside of you when you’re already so close…

You press your palm against the door of the stall to brace yourself, hooking your other leg around Su-bong’s waist. His hand covering your mouth drops to grip your thigh, supporting your weight and pressing your back against the wall. At this angle, he’s buried inside of you to the hilt, and as much as it drives you crazy, you can see in his eyes that he starts to lose his composure as well.

“Can’t handle it?” you whisper. Su-bong’s eyebrows raise as if to say ‘excuse me?’, and you smirk in response — daring him.

Su-bong tightens his hold on you and takes a step away from the wall with you in his arms. You gasp, grabbing onto his shoulders to keep yourself steady as he takes the small step back to sit down on the seat of the toilet with you still on his lap. This time, he returns that mischievous and daring look that you gave him moments before, but he tips his head up to whisper in your ear.

“Make it yours.”

When he leans back, peering up at you, he bites his lip and sets his hands lightly on your thighs, as if to avoid hindering whatever you are about to do. You grasp his shoulders for support, beginning to rock yourself in his lap slowly to test the new angle. He feels so good this way, and it drives you to roll yourself harder and with a little more abandon, trying to make sure you feel every inch of him.

Su-bong’s breath comes out in quick, short huffs through his nostrils, his fingers digging into your thighs and you know they’re going to be bruised later. One of your hands cradles the back of his head, urging him to tilt upwards again so you can press a kiss to his lips. This kiss is more urgent, sloppier, and you worry that you’re being too noisy when you hear the other occupants of the bathroom beginning to lower their voices.

You break the kiss, desperate for something else so you let go of Su-bong’s shoulders, reaching behind your back to place your hands on his knees for support instead. You watch the flash of excitement in the man’s eyes as you start to ride him at this new angle. Your back is arched and your head is tilted up towards the ceiling, abandoning that last shred of dignity you were trying to hold.

You start to move faster and faster, feeling yourself already broaching another climax. Su-bong senses it as well, either from your less precise movements or the way you feel around him, so his hands now grasp your hips, helping you move steadily in his lap. Just as you feel yourself teetering on the edge of your orgasm, Su-bong’s grip on you tightens and he slows you until you stop altogether.

You give him a look that you hope conveys ‘are you fucking serious?’, which, judging from the way he smirks, he hears loud and clear. He gestures in a twirling motion with his finger, and it clicks in your head what he wants you to do. Giving him another kiss on the lips, you maneuver from his lap, briefly hating the loss of him filling you up, and you turn around to face the stall door. Su-bong’s hands hold your sides, helping you sit down on his lap again with your back to him.

“Get back over here,” he mutters, and you think it’s mostly for his benefit because he sounds so serious. You reach down between your thighs to guide him back into you, feeling the way that momentary loss of him almost made you forget how good he feels inside of you, stretching you to your limit.

From this angle, everything feels better. You don’t waste time with build up now, knowing you’re beyond desperate to come again. With your legs together and your hands bracing on his spread thighs on either side of you, you begin to bounce in his lap, making minimal effort to remain quiet at this point. You hear over you shoulder and Su-bong lets out a stilted groan, hands on your hips and helping you ride him.

You never expected this from yourself. On the outside, this could look like some cheap porno that always made you laugh more than anything else. Except this doesn’t feel like that. This feels sexier, you feel sexier than you thought you could be, because of the way you have this man acting for you.

You’re brought back to reality by Su-bong’s hands wrapping around your body, not staying still. He cups your breasts over your clothes with both hands for a moment before one releases and glides up to your throat. He sits up higher so he can pull your back against his chest, holding your torso in place against his while you still ride him.

“You’re close, I can feel it,” he rasps in your ear, fingers tightening around your throat. “Are you going to come in my lap while all those other men are out there listening? They know we're here by now. They know you’re in here fucking a stranger like this.” Your head reels with desire and your eyes slip closed, your body feeling as though it’s engulfed with heat.

His hands move again; this time, he grasps your thighs, easing them over his to spread you open wider. This position affords you the space to move, and you take quick advantage, leaning flush against Su-bong so you can really fuck yourself on his lap. You both pant, soft moans echoing in the walls, and you’re sure he’s right that anyone can hear you, but you don’t care. You’re so close.

With one of his arms clenched around your midsection to keep you against him, his other hand ventures between your thighs rubbing your clit quickly. Your body doesn’t feel like it’s under your control anymore, and you assume it’s because it belongs to Su-bong at this point.

Your legs quake as you finally reach your climax, pulling in quick, sharp gasps as you try not to moan out loud. Su-bong whispers something to you, something encouraging, you’re sure of it, but you’re too blissed out to really hear what it is. You drop your head against his shoulder and grasp the back of his head, pulling him into a kiss as you ride him until your legs grow weak.

“Fuck,” you shudder, breaking the kiss.

“You’re such a good girl for me,” he whispers, rubbing his hands over your sides soothingly. “I know you can give me one more.” You whimper, not as confident in your abilities as he is; he laughs, giving you a quick kiss on the mouth. “I believe in you, princess,” he grins.

You playfully shove his face away from you, blushing at the nickname. He wraps his arms around your body, standing you both to your feet again, while he keeps himself pushed inside of you. He pushes you cheek first against the wall, burying himself all the way inside of you and staying still.

You both listen, making sure that the other occupants of the bathroom have now left and you are completely alone again. Once Su-bong is satisfied, he grasps you by your hips, slowly beginning to thrust into you again. You whimper, your body feeling ready to give out at any moment. This time, as he thrusts, you can tell he’s chasing his own orgasm as well as yours — he’s much more urgent and focused.

“Are you gonna come inside of me?” you ask, eyes slipping closed as you feel your legs trembling beneath you. You hear how your voice sounds: cheap.

“Is that what you want?” he asks.

“Mhm.”

“Did you earn it?”

Fuck, you think, feeling your cheeks flush so much your eyes water. Don’t come just from him saying that.

“I felt you clench just now,” he pants, not relenting in his thrusts. “You dirty girl, you really do like being talked to like that.” All you can do is groan in response, your second orgasm in sight. “If you come one more time,” he begins, kissing your neck. “Then I’ll finish inside of you. Okay? Can you do that for me, princess?”

“Mmhmm,” you moan, whimpering as you know it’s so close.

He keeps fucking you hard, relentless as if his life depends on this moment. You moan louder than you intend to when he thrusts in at just the right angle, so he clamps his hand over your mouth to silence you. His free hand maneuvers in front of your body and between your thighs, rubbing your clit suddenly and sending you crashing into an orgasm. You grasp the wrist of his hand that covers your mouth, dragging it down to your throat instead to feel his fingers there one more time as you release.

“Oh, fuck,” you gasp, reaching behind you with your free hand to grab anything you can. When your fingers come in contact with Su-bong’s side, you pull him hard against you, scraping your nails along his ribs.

“Damn, baby,” he hisses, his hips hitting you with as much force as before but sloppier — he’s close.

With all the energy you can muster, you work yourself against him, trying to meet each of his thrusts as you still dig your nails into his skin. He bites your shoulder over your shirt, stifling a deep groan. His fingers tighten around your throat and his pace becomes erratic, teeth still digging into you.

The moan he releases into your ear is far more breathless and desperate than you expect. His deep tone makes it rattle in his chest so you can feel it through every inch of him that you feel. The sensation of Su-bong, essentially a stranger, coming inside of you is almost enough to give you a fourth orgasm but you try to maintain your composure. He keeps thrusting until he’s finished, dropping his full body weight against you to pin you against the wall.

You both stay silent apart from your ragged breaths that echo through the walls of the stall. It feels like an eternity that you stay melded together like this, neither of you ready to stop just yet. Su-bong makes the first move, kissing the spot on your clothed shoulder that he had bitten; the action makes you giggle softly, so he plants a kiss on your cheek to tease you further.

When you both finally separate, Su-bong turns you around, resting you against the wall. He grabs some tissue and helps you clean up as best as he can, stealing glances at you every now and then with a shy smile, and a quick kiss. Once he’s satisfied that you’re both cleaned up, he pulls his clothes up again and helps you get back into your pants as well. It’s not lost on you that he slips your panties into the pocket of his pants, and as much as you would like to protest, you love the idea of him keeping a piece of you like that.

“You okay?” Su-bong asks, as you both now stand resting against either side of the stall, preparing yourselves for the long walk back to the dorms.

“I hope we vote out tonight,” you say, truthfully. “For a lot of reasons, but I don’t think my body can take much more.”

“I think you underestimate yourself,” he says. “You can handle more than you think.”

“We can test that theory when we get out of here,” you reply.

If we get out of here, you think. Su-bong must read the look on your face, because he takes the small steps towards you and grabs you by your hips, pulling you to him.

“We will,” he says. You’re unsure if he’s responding to what you said out loud or if he read the fleeting look of panic in your face at the thought of going through another game. He places a tender kiss on your lips and you sigh contentedly — this is a feeling you could get used to.

You both grab your jackets from the stall wall and put them back on, Su-bong slowly opening the stall door to peek out before he exited. When he is certain the coast was clear, he allows you to step out of the stall after him. You both quietly exit the bathroom altogether, once again checking that no one is around to see. You make your way towards the dorms, Su-bong stealing a quick pinch of your backside just before you enter the room.

“Sit with me,” Su-bong commands.

“You want to share me with them now?” you joke.

“Now that I know you’re mine,” he laughs, and you follow without another question as he brings you to join his group. He introduces you around to the other members and you notice they look slightly amused as they look at you.

Is there something on me? you wonder. You glance down at yourself, trying to find anything funny and that’s when you notice: you’re wearing Su-bong’s jacket. You feel your cheeks flush with embarrassment, so you glance over to him to see if he’s noticed as well. The grin on his face confirms that he figured it out.

“Uh-oh,” he chuckles, unzipping your jacket that he wears and slipping it from his arms. “I guess we’ve been caught.” You hurriedly remove his jacket as well and trade with him, laughing off the mistake. “You’re not getting your panties back, though,” he adds, patting his pocket.

“Oh, god,” you mutter, pulling your jacket on and noticing that the others in the group are laughing. Su-bong leans towards you, giving you a kiss on the cheek.

“You’re cute when you blush, princess.”

“Stop calling me that,” you chuckle, pressing your hand to his chest to shove him away gently. You stop yourself from getting locked in his gaze, though your fingers lightly clench the cross that’s tucked under his shirt.

With a small smirk, he retorts, “You love it.”

Unfortunately, he’s right. You like being called any names by him, and you like how his hands felt on you. You like everything that he does, and you don’t bother to try figuring out why that is. You enjoy it while you can.

As the vote looms, the prospect of staying in this place scares you, but still seeing Su-bong does provide both comfort and excitement. You wonder if he intends to keep the promise of his comment earlier and vote to leave that afternoon, or if it was just something to say in the moment. Stealing a quick glance at him, you feel hopeful.

[chanrizard]

BANG CHAN'S INTERVIEW FOR HARPER'S BAZAAR KOREA

translation © channie_says

Q: with HOP you have achieved your 6th consecutive debut at No.1 billboard US chart in the first week of release. Billboard charts and the album sales can be important but as the leader of the team and a producer, Bang Chan, I wonder if there are other ways to measure the success. What else do Stray Kids need to show next?

BC: "it's yet to happen" "we have a long way to go" is what I usually say when people around me tell me that we have grown so big.

I even hear things like "stop being humble, you don't need to do that anymore" but I couldn't do that. Success is a thing that is still far from us. We'll keep on running. Our direction is decided but the destination is still unknown. The goal that everyone knows, I'm curious about what's next/beyond that. We want to go till there.

Q: Stray Kids is like the personification of energy to me. Not only in the songs and performances of each of you but also the growth since your debut till now. You have reached here by taking one step at a time and running without resting. What is the source of your energy?

BC: if you observe every member, you'll see that everyone has something burning inside them. That hot ember burns vigorously when we are on stage. STAY also fuels it continuously. (laughs) Honestly the flames can get weaker as time passes by, but if a flame dies out in our team then it gets reignited quickly because there are 7 remaining flames! We're busy keeping each other warm.

Q: what form does straykids' pride take?

BC: it might be cringy but I think loving the members and being understanding towards each other. I really think of us as real brothers.

Q: is it closer to friendship than teamwork?

BC: Uhm, it's love more than friendship. Should say, if teamwork can be consciously matched, for us it just comes from the heart.

That's why we can understand (each other) even if we make mistakes, and want to evolve with each other. I think that's the most important thing. Sometimes i wonder too, how can we be like this.

Q: do you have an answer to that?

BC: recently I thought "shouldn't we be a little more mature" but then another part of me was like "do we really need to, tho". When we are together we're still like kids in their teens because we're too busy constantly teasing each other. As the oldest, I get subjected to it the most. It's really childish but I like that childishness. That's how real friends are. Forcefully pretending to be mature according to your biological age is boring. In the future too, we'll keep being childish like we are.

Q: maybe the answer could just be that you all haven't grown up but leader Bang Chan seems to have a really heavy burden on his shoulders. What sense of duty does Bang Chan feel now?

BC: I don't know if l am doing well as a leader. Since i don't know, I'm working harder to do better. I have to produce too, and take care of the members too...the pressure is a lot. It's an obsession. I'm trying to accept it these days. even if the members' emotional state synchronizes, there's times that I pretend to not know/ notice it. If I see it then I would want to fix it and take care of the members but that's my obsession and everyone is an adult.

They might not even like it if I step in. I'm trying to consciously put "members can do well on their own" in my head. It's gotten really better if I compare it to when we debuted (laughs).

Q: Your nickname is 'bangbeoji' (bangfather) right? That sounds like a problem my dad who has raised children might have (laughs). Were you a strict leader during your trainee days?

BC: l feel really sorry about treating the members coldly back then. My trainee life was really long, I was the only one left as all my close friends debuted, left, new ones came, and left again....after going through such situations repeatedly, my personality changed drastically. I didn't wanna get hurt anymore so I decided that I wouldn't get closer to anyone. It was the darkest time of my life. l was worrying thinking 'now what will happen with my life' and that's when the members appeared in front of me.

Q: you're really strict with yourself, aren't you?

BC: I'm the type to point out and worry about the smallest things that don't even matter. When I watch back our performances, I always think "why did i do it like that" and I'm almost never satisfied with myself but what will I do if I only like myself. It's good if I like others too. I can't become a self-centered person.

On top of that, music/songs doesn't have an answer. Even while producing I try my best and work hard and make constant improvements based on the reactions that I saw while letting people listen to it, that's the type of person am. I haven't lived long but while living I have found that there's a lot of people I'm grateful for. Company employees, members, family, friends... I want to thank them all.

To do that, I think it's really important to make a result that will satisfy everyone a little more.

Q: we wanna know Bang Chan's playlist.

BC: honestly from the position of someone who has to continuously make songs, it's hard to listen to others' songs. I always end up listening with intent. These days I enjoy listening to sounds from the outside. Sounds of the city, car sounds, sounds of kids running around and playing in the playground.

Q: are you gonna end up wearing a bucket (on your head) later like ryuichi sakamoto? (laughs)

BC: I have even done things like that in the past like just tapping my elbow with a microphone and carefulylistening to the sound it makes. Since I arrange the songs myself, that's why I wonder if there are any unique sounds.

Q: the things bangchan is thinking of these days, feeling these days too, those will come out in the world as your work someday, right? with that, I'm curious of what you're feeling these days and what has been on your mind recently.

BC: what were my inner thoughts recently... (musing out loud) uhm...I'm feeling 'confused'

Q: I expected it to be 'excited like a kid' or 'calm like a saint' but that was unexpected.

BC: these days I'm very confused internally but didn't wanna let that confusion out, I hate to influence other people with negativity for no reason. For this feeling to calm down, I have found that the way is maintaining a calm state. I think the members say "eh? why is that hyung like this these days" after seeing that. (laughs)

Q: that's why you also have started boxing in the new year?

BC: when l took my first lesson, I felt really good. It felt good to focus on something without any useless thoughts for 1 hour. Boxing really feels like meditation to me.

Q: what's making Bang Chan confused?

BC: the fact that people are all different. Really different. I knew it already but it came to me like a new thing. This person is like this, that person is like that. I can't fix them, and there's no need to fix them so I not understand it? No, but still I should... that's what it's like inside my head these days.

Q: you described it as "confusion" but Bang Chan right now seems to be in the middle of putting a lot of effort into understanding the world or people no matter what.

BC: I feel like I came here for mental counseling (laughs). Yes, you're right. As I said I'm not really a self-centered person but still I'm trying to live for myself these days.

Q: you set foot in the entertainment industry at a really young age, leaving your home, austrailia. if we count your trainee years too then it has been 15 years. What keeps you grounded when you feel shaken?

BC: the members. I don't want to become a person they feel ashamed of. I want to hear the members say things like "that hyung is genuine" "that hyung is cool" the most. I'm really childish. (laughs)

Q: l got a hint from"that hyung is genuine". It's said that psychologically, the compliment that makes a person the happiest tells about what they think of as the most valuable thing in their life.

BC: me and the members aren't very expressive/good at expressing ourselves. I don't know what they think but I want to be a reliable and trustable hyung to the kids. I think I might have the need to feel acknowledged a little after all.

Q: if you look at the things you've done till now, it doesn't feel like success came to you really quick but you're still very young. What kind of adult/man do you want to become?

BC: first of all, I wanna be with the members for a long time. I think it'd be really funny to become grandfathers (old men) and say "it was like that back in the days" but honestly I feel like I'm always stuck at 25.

Q: you're forever 25.

BC: yes, I want to keep on living as a 25 year old but reporter-nim*, what does growing up even mean? *joking*

Q: from our conversation today, it seems like you're in the midst of that process Bang Chan-ssi. Accepting things you can't change, knowing how to let go, listening carefully to other people's opinions. On top of that, you said earlier that you are confused in the process of trying to understand others' world, that's essential.

BC: it's not something that happens naturally? then I might really be growing up (laughs)

*reporter felt weird without a "nim" and there isn't really another way to make it sound respectful and not monotoned because ENGLISH FUCKING SUCKS but anyway (translator's note)

[coachs-kit-bag]

Cool site! What are your thoughts on being locked during gym activities?

I’ve always been of the opinion that a cage can be a vital tool for development and conditioning. In fact, I have a tag on my NSFW side blog on this very topic: Link

When it comes to the gym - as long as it fits correctly to not inhibit movement - a cage can be the optimum motivation tool. Some will even come to see it as a vital part of their uniform. I see that commitment to lock in and focus on the transformation at hand, rather than getting distracted by any other distractions, as a very good thing indeed.

If you’re reading this post thinking if it would work in your favour - think of it this way: instead of letting any frustration go to waste, you can channel that energy into a cathartic gym workout. A productive release for the body - no matter what sport or exercise. Maintaining levels of testosterone it’s important for growth, after all.

Get out there and make your Coach proud! 💪🏻

—

Images from @_On_The_Hill on X / Bluesky

Collecting images for this ask box has been more than enough encouragement to add a lot of images to my NSFW queue and follow some new accounts!

[thisnameisnotspokenfor]

So I lied

there's bits and pieces of the intro to the next chapter not here but enjoy this!

I am pushing to have a Tuesday/Wednesday release!

The forest seemed to hold it’s breath as the star gestured to the surrounding glowing trees. 

“When the order was finally established, a primordial star gave up her spot in the sky, to stay on earth in order to guide the order and firmly cement its placement as the bridge between our worlds. It was a move that impressed the other stars, and to show their support for the newly found order, they made the Asterius that you saw in the market. One created and cultivated from the power of each court to symbolize its unity within the order.”

“Was there any particular reason why they chose a tree  as a symbol?” she asked, as she stared at the glowing trees, gently swaying in the night breeze.

“Yeah…but what’s with your tone? Trees are cool!” he frowned, almost sounding offended.

“They’re alright…but I mean why do stars take such interest in them if they’re practically everywhere? Surely you guys must have cooler things than just…trees!”

“We do but…we wanted to use something familiar to both worlds and besides, have you ever noticed that no matter how far into the heavens a tree can ascend it must always stay rooted to the earth to survive? It can never forget its origins, no matter how far or great it grows…” he smiled thoughtfully as his foot scuffed against the ground. “Isn’t that something?”

Asha slowly nodded, and turned her eyes upwards “Hmm I guess it does sound a bit more…fascinating when you describe it like that…but why do yours glow?”

The star hummed thoughtfully as he rubbed his chin, “Well, the short scientific and aesthetic answer would be bioluminescence to attract nocturnal pollinators. Plus you can always appreciate their beauty no matter what time of day. It makes the nighttime forests nicer, doesn’t it?”

She nodded in agreement, “It does. But what’s the long answer?”

“Well,” he started as he straightened himself. “I don’t know the details exactly but I think it’s also because of their connection to some greater network of energy both with each other and the world around them. One of my nannies would always tell me about it when I was little and couldn’t stop climbing them but it’s pretty convoluted if I’m being honest.”

“A network of energy…” she whispered as her eyes trailed the trees’ glowing roots. “Like your energy?”

“Something like that,” he shrugged before thoughtfully staring at the sky. “I mean they sort of come from our world…so I guess it only makes sense that they would act like that…”

“You know before you told me anyl of this, I never would’ve thought that something as simple as a tree could hold so much meaning in the grand scheme of things,” she confessed. “Sure there was the wishing tree, but that felt more like a relic than anything else…not some political  cosmic display of diplomacy…”

“You’d be surprised…there’s a reason why most Asterius made today are no longer created by all four courts…”

“They aren’t?” she asked, a bit taken aback as the star shook his head.

“No not anymore, not since Deneb’s asterius came into the picture…”

“Deneb has an asterius?”

“Most members of the royal star families and high-ranking nobles do…but few have a tree as controversial as hers….” he hesitated as if mentally debating something before he eventually nodded and turned to her. “Asha” he stated suddenly as she straightened herself in preparation. “You remember how when we were in the forest you told me that you knew that the crimson court hated Deneb because of your father’s writings, right?”

“Right,” she nodded, trying not to shift uncomfortably. 

“Did your father ever state why?” 

“No…his master had been vague about the situation…but from what I could tell, it seemed as if the bad blood between the two parties was a little more extensive than just the courts…it seemed like it involved the council too…”

“It did,” Cepheus carefully nodded. “But did he say anything else?”

“Well…he theorized that it was the result of some act of defiance she did a few years ago that involved her children…you wouldn’t happen to know anything about that, would you?”

“I do,” he confessed. “I don’t know if you’ll like the story but I suppose for you to understand anything I’ll need to give you a few details…”

He gestured for her to follow as they slowly began to near the forest. “I’m not sure if I’ve told you this explicitly,” he started as the glowing trees and shrubbery began to surround them.   “but the crimson court and cerulean court have always hated  each other. They’ve led countless wars and battles against each other long before the order,  Deneb, and her children ever entered the picture.”

“Why?” She asked as she ducked beneath a low-hanging  branch. “Was it differing philosophies? Scandalous love?” She called after the star who’d somehow managed to put a rather large walking distance between them. “Cultural differences? Why did they hate each other?”

He paused as if listening out for something before she finally made her way to his side, “Differing philosophies and a bloodthirsty competitiveness to conquer the galaxies,” the star frowned and abruptly looked away. 

Had…had he been ashamed of his court’s past? She wondered before he quietly continued, “Nevertheless it all seemed to come to a head when during one of these wars…the council, being as senile as they are, had grown both tired and indifferent to the constant fighting. So they decided to exercise their powers to ensure peace would prevail, one that, unlike their past attempts, could not be so easily dismissed…” The star sighed, slowly moving his hand as the air around his fingers began to glow a soft misty blue. 

Soon the rest of the world followed, rippling and blurring, as she blinked, trying to rub the uneasiness from her eyes as her surroundings slowly began to come into focus as she looked around. They were still in a forest, that much she could be sure of as the familiar sight of large, thick glowing greenery greeted her.

But where the distant yet elaborate town of Banquo had once stood was gone, and in its place was a seemingly endless glowing body of water. 

Were they…at the beach? No this couldn’t have been the beach, at least not one she’d been familiar with. Her eyes traced along the light blue shoreline as she took one hesitant step forward before rubbing her eyes in disbelief.

The ocean was glowing. Real oceans didn’t glow. But the feel of the calm sea breeze passing through her braids had nearly convinced her otherwise.

“Wait…” she started, looking around. “Is this another illusion like what you did with the scrolls?”

“Something of the sort,” the star smiled as he spoke from behind her. “Are you enjoying the view?”

She nodded, before looking around again, “Yeah! It’s…beautiful -,” her voice trailed off as she took in the sight of the star who’s skin was now a beautiful shade of cyan, while his hair was nearly white. 

Was this what a blue star looked like? She wondered, as she looked him over and over again.

She wasn’t sure how long she’d been staring, but it was enough to earn herself an all too knowing grin as the star arrogantly extended a sapphire colored wing. “I was talking about the sea, but if you think I’m beautiful as well, and wish to stare,” he humbly gestured to himself as another wing revealed itself. “then by all means, my dear-,” 

“What?!” She scoffed, before waving her hands dismissively as she looked away. Thank God her blushes weren’t visible. “Ha! No! No way! I was talking about the beach! Not you! It’s the beach that’s beautiful, see?! You’re just…blue!” 

“Mmhmm.” He hummed teasingly as his now brilliantly blue  colored iris seemed bright with laughter. “Well either way I hope you enjoy whatever view you choose to partake in….or indulge…”

“I bet you say that to all the girls, don’t you?” she huffed and took a step back as she crossed her arms.

“Only the ones with good taste,” the star lazily grinned, never breaking eye contact with her as he stepped closer to her. His grin only sharpened as she glowered. “The ocean is that way, Asha.”

“I know that, you silly star!” She snapped and sharply turned to face the body of water, hoping to enjoy any semblance of peace she could get.

But alas, no peace came when she heard the king’s voice echoing from behind her as he lightly laughed, “Seriously Asha? Beautiful?” The other voices joined in as she tensed, trying to steady herself with one breath after another.

“Don’t get too attached Asha…Don’t you remember what your poor old father wanted?” rang the king’s voice in her ears again as she flinched. “You’re not supposed to be a part of this world, remember? Much less enjoy it or the beings that come with it.”

She wasn’t enjoying it. She wasn’t! She’d only been stating the obvious when she’d called the beach beautiful! She hadn’t meant anything more than that!

“Asha?” called Cepheus’s voice as she broke into a cold sweat. The echoes of voices faded like smoke as she blinked. “Asha, are you okay?”

“I’m fine!” She blurted, perhaps too quickly to convince anyone before she gestured to their surroundings, “But where are we exactly?”

“Kepler,” he answered as his wings quivered at the passing breeze.

“Kepler?” she narrowed her eyes. She couldn’t recall hearing of a city or country named Kepler…unless- her eyes widened as she stared back at the ocean.  “is this the ocean where you were before you heard my wish? Where you said that Deneb met her soul mate?” 

His smile grew as he nodded. “Yes.”

Ah! So this was the place! He hadn’t been lying when he’d called it beautiful, she thought as she looked over the shoreline once more. If there’d ever been a place she imagined as the setting for a scandalous royal alien fairytale then it would be here. But speaking of royalty…“Where’s the castle?”

“The castle?”

“Yeah, the Cygnus castle? You know the one you told me you loved to visit…you said you could see the waves from it, remember?”

“oh…OH!” he blinked in surprise, before lightly slapping his forehead. “Sorry…That castle wasn’t built yet…”

“Oh…” she replied, trying not to feel disappointed.

“But there’s another castle and a human village not too far from here…” 

“A human village?!” she gasped as he nodded. “There are humans in space?! Why?!!”

“Atlanteans, astronomers, diplomats, smugglers, the sheer expansiveness of the universe- take your pick!” he laughed as he listed the reasons on his clawed fingers. “A lot of humans settled here for different reasons. But the one thing they all have in common is that they’re well taken care of.” He hummed thoughtfully before lowering his hand. “You know Asha if you ever decide to come to space…I’m sure the other humans wouldn’t mind accommodating you and your family! 

Asha frowned. “You think I should stay with the other humans?”

“Of course! I mean…isn’t that what you wanted?”

Well..yes…but…she hadn’t wanted to do so without him. 

She couldn’t explain why, but…In this strange world. In his world, he was her only piece of familiarity. Her safety. How could he be so casual about them splitting up?

“Oh brother, do you hear this guy?!” the king’s voice angrily called as his figure slowly materialized before her. His grip on his spear tightened as he rudely waved to the oblivious star. “Ugh see whenever I tell you that age does not equate to wisdom, it’s because of things like this! You think he’d try to be a little less obvious about it!

‘A little less obvious?’ she wondered, as the king rolled his eyes before continuing, 

“C’mon Asha! Even Dario would be able to tell you that going into space is not the wonderful fix-all solution he’s trying to sell you.” She grimaced, her gaze no longer able to meet his as he stepped forward and shook his head disapprovingly. “Did you really think things would be any different in his world?”

‘I...I don’t know unless I go…maybe things could be different…it could be a fresh start! Maybe I could help people!’ she weakly thought in reply.

“Fresh start?! Asha Those people live amongst stars- why would they bother to entertain anything you have to offer? You have no powers, no title, no wealth, or relevant skill for that matter”

‘I know but…I won’t know unless I try…’ she’d meekly thought as his cruel laughter filled his ears.

“Try? Asha, you haven’t even made your decision to leave and he’s already decided to put you as far away from him as possible. Out of sight, and out of mind.” She could feel the ghost of his hand resting on her shoulder. “Changing environments isn’t going to change anything, Asha, not when we all know that the real problem has always been you. See? It didn’t take your little star very long to figure it out now, did it? He’s not very different from me, is he?”

She bit her lip, feeling her fingernails slowly dig into the palm of her hands as her name echoed within her own ears. Maybe Cepheus had been calling her, she didn’t know. She couldn’t hear him over the sound of the king’s voice teasingly asking her, “What? You didn’t think he wasn’t going to be embarrassed by you?”

‘No! He wasn’t embarrassed!’ she thought, clutching at the cape’s edges. ‘Beauty aside, his world was unarguably dangerous. Her father had almost been killed upon entering it, and now people with ties to it were trying to kill her! Maybe he was just trying to protect her, right? 

“Where’s your confidence?” the queen’s voice gently whispered. It sounded concerned, and maybe if she’d been in a better state of mind, she would’ve thought caring. “If you’re so sure he’s looking out for you then why don’t you tell him how you really feel?”

She could practically hear the grin in the king’s voice as he quickly added. “Or are you just too afraid that he’ll turn you down like the prince did?”

“Asha?” came Cepheus’s voice as she felt him grasp her shoulders. “Asha, are you alright?”

“I-,” she stopped, as a low growl reverberated overhead. 

The growl hadn’t been deafening, but something about it had felt wrong as if she were hearing the sound of a creature that never should’ve existed in the first place.

Her eyes promptly darted to the cloudy yet translucent sky above, narrowly catching sight of something large swiftly disappearing into the clouds as another growl shook the ground. 

She hadn’t seen much of what it was, nor had she wanted to. But from what she could determine, its body had been all too similar to the Atlantean serpentine she’d seen Allepac destroy. 

Only this one had been far bigger and more…organic looking… like it was something more than just an instrument of war….

“W-what in the world was that?!” she cried, stumbling behind the star as her eyes refused to leave the sky.

“The leviathan,” the star casually answered as he looked up at the sky. 

“The Leviathan?” she grimaced, quickly crouching behind the star as another growl filled the air. “Um…quick question...why is it growling like that? Better yet why is it flying?!”

“It’s probably determining whether or not to kill whatever it senses approaching.”

“Kill?” 

“With extreme prejudice…” the star cheerfully replied as if it were the most casual thing in the world. “this could get very nasty very quickly.”

Why he was so calm about this was beyond her…sure this might’ve been an illusion but it was a rather unpleasant one! Then again, he had stated that a star’s true form was rather large…what if he’d been bigger than the leviathan? Was that even possible?!

She hoped not, she thought, before a figure stepped out of the forest and approached.

To her surprise, it was a rather handsome man dressed in stately blue robes who looked to be somewhere in his late twenties or possibly early thirties. He appeared to be partially African, but she could tell through his white-colored dreadlocks, and crystal blue eyes, that he also carried Atlantean heritage, and just like any Atlantean she’d suspected his appearance no doubt, betrayed his true age. 

Sighing, he’d looked up and down the coast as if searching for something before he shook his head and withdrew a blue crystal attached to his necklace.

“Oceans,” he grumbled and watched with disgust as the glowing waves crashed along the shorelines. “Why did it have to be oceans? Does she have any idea how terrifying these things are?!” He sighed, shaking his head before he took one deep breath after another, and carefully kneeled, maintaining some distance from the water before he bowed his head and placed a hand over his heart.

 “Oh patroness of arts, protector of the seas, the heart of the Kraieyek empire,” he paused, as the sound of the ocean filled her ears once more. A sound that was promptly broken by the string of curses that left his lips as he abruptly rose back to his feet before backing away.

She hadn’t seen it at first until he’d moved, just out of reach of an emerging stream of water flowing upwards towards the beach. Such motion should’ve been impossible she thought as the water began to slowly encircle itself, as smaller streams began to branch off, connect, and tangle into a pattern of sorts. 

No sooner had the pattern formed than a figure slowly rose from the ocean’s depths. A multitude of brightly glowing cyan-colored eyes broke the surface. Water cascaded over her shoulders as she slowly rose to the edge of the shore.

To call her full height frightening would’ve been an understatement, but seeing it now hadn’t made it hard to understand why her father had reacted the way he did to the star’s heights. 

The star that stood before the man couldn���t have been any shorter than seventeen feet, as he bowed to her once more. Yet even despite her height, she was beautiful. Her skin was a pleasant shade of blue perfectly decorated with cyan-colored tattoos that spanned from her collarbone to her forearms and cyan-colored fingertips. Her four irises were a piercing shade of blue that sharply contrasted the dark blue of her scleras and the near whiteness of her hair. 

“Vitrius,” she softly spoke. All of her eyes focused on him as water continued dripping from her white hair.

“Vitrius” Asha whispered. As in Tau Vitrius?! Her father’s mentor?! This is what Tau Vitrius looked like? She hadn’t expected him to somewhat resemble the Atlanteans so much given the disdain he’d shown for their dialect and its influence. 

Wait, but if Vitrius was her astronomer, then that star could only be —“Your Majesty…” he bowed, leaving Asha unsure whether she should have been more impressed by the star’s beauty or Vitrius’s fearlessness.

But…she had to admit, that save for the faded scars on her limbs and the weariness in her eyes, Deneb looked shockingly young. Maybe no older than seventeen or eighteen which was far too young to be a queen. 

“I apologize for the informal setting,” she started, swiftly stepping by him. “Had I known you’d arrived so quickly, I would’ve arranged for something a bit more formal….” Maybe Asha had been imagining things, but she could’ve sworn that Deneb’s accent sounded…familiar.

“You’ve heard the news haven’t you?” she spoke, breaking the silence once more as she turned to face him.

“Yes…I believe congratulations are in order for your ascension to the throne,” Vitreous replied as he crossed his arms behind his back. “Headmistress Karagash sends her regards.”

She darkly scowled, before stepping away with a scoff. “Of course…. I take it that your superiors were overjoyed at the announcement weren’t they?”

“Some were,” Vitrius confirmed with a small nod. “Barring the headmistress of course…but it seems as if most are cautiously optimistic in the council’s proposal…I know your feelings on the matter but there is no denying that your move is arguably as forward as it is backward. From the moment your sister abdicated, you were the only viable option to become Apsuramal.”

“You're too optimistic Vitrius,” she sighed, sounding more exasperated than anything else. “Ascension or not Vega’s banishment was not necessary nor will it do me any favors in the near future…”

“With all due respect my lady, sentiments aside, as high queen your power must be absolute and unquestionable. The situation that has brought us here is far from ideal, but even you must admit that banishing her will undoubtedly limit the options your opponents have to overthrow you, as that’s one less viable figurehead that they can use to challenge you.”

“And with all due respect astronomer,” she spoke. The ground silently yet somehow softly shook with every step she took. “Optimism aside, it was a rather well-planned self-inflicted blow. As it currently stands I am a rather unpopular Apsuramal, and the banishment of not only a superior healer but an initially more popular contender to the throne will certainly do me no favors in the eyes of my detestors or the ones who have yet to make up their minds on the matter.”

She turned her eyes towards the horizon as she placed her arms behind her, briefly allowing Asha a view of the small but luminescent cyan scales that littered her forearms almost in the patterns of constellations. “If I go through with the council’s proposal then everything my people and ancestors have worked and bled for, what my mother died for, all of it will have been for naught.”

“Not quite,” he interjected. “Pardon my optimism, but as bleak as the situation may be it has yet to become totally hopeless.”

“Why do you say that?” she asked, as she spared him a glance.

“You may not have been born destined to rule the throne, but it seems as if fate has proven otherwise. Call it an old astronomer’s superstition,” he shrugged as he walked towards her. “but my master’s always told me that things never happen without reason…maybe you cannot be the perfection that the court wants, but you can be their hope, and sometimes that’s all people, or maybe even beings  need.”

“Do you really think I could be the hope my people need even when my desires do nothing more than push us closer to the very same war we sought to end?”

“It’s possible… although it’s far too early to say for sure…but even if they do not accept you as much as you’d like they’ll always need you. You are their Apsuramal. Their lifeline. They are a part of you just as you are of them. So neither of you can exist without each other, even while you’re still figuring things out.”

She said nothing as the waves continued to roll against the shoreline. Somewhere from above the Leviathan’s calls faintly echoed, as Vitrius cleared his throat,  “You don’t have to believe me your Highness, but the worst thing you could do is to let your enemies know you have fallen apart. Not when they’re still looking for the opportunity to strike.”

“Yes,” she took in a deep breath as she nodded. Her posture straightened as she turned back towards the ocean. “For now there is still time…And with it, hopefully, opportunities as well…”

“Did the council grant your request for a second hearing?”  he murmured thoughtfully.

“They did. Of course, you know they were rather adamant about the marriage arrangement, regardless of whether or not I made any valid counterarguments. But thankfully the meeting proved to be quite useful in…other ways to say the least,” a ghost of a smile appeared on her face. “Mortal word isn’t the only one that spreads quickly.”

“Oh?” he raised an eyebrow at her words before turning to her. “Care to share what’s transpiring on your side of the galaxy?”

“My informant has confirmed rumors about a certain diplomat of the Myrkadius”  Deneb hummed before kneeling at the small patterned streams of water that promptly twisted itself into a small figure. “From what we gathered, her name is Alhena.”

“Alhena?” Vitrius repeated, looking somewhat surprised. “I didn’t know she was a diplomat…”

“She is…You’ve heard of her?”

Vitrius nodded. “She is a distant relative of the current Myrkadius I think. A remarkable singer as well. Maybe even too remarkable.”

“Hmm…” Deneb’s eyes narrowed as with a flick of her finger, the water figure immediately froze. “From what I hear she’s everything you’d expect in a silver star- ambitious, intelligent, manipulative, and whatnot, save for the one thing.”

“Oh?”

“She lacks significant physical power. It’s the only thing that’s keeping her from achieving a much higher status within her own court. But what she lacks in ambition, she certainly makes up for in charm and beauty…” Deneb laughed, muttering something in a strange language as red slowly began to seep into the small water figure before it shattered.

“Well, if he’s going to be like that, you might as well take a lover too,” Vitrius replied without hesitation as she cast him an ever-so-questioning glance. “What?” he shrugged as Asha nearly choked in disbelief. “I said what I said.”

Asha could tell from the way Deneb simply stared in an almost apprehensive way that she was used to Vitrius’s strange advice, as she continued, “Affair aside, I received word that Vega has accepted the sanctuary the Myrkadius offered her upon her abdication and banishment…”

“Sanctuary? So…that means…”

“Yes,” Deneb sighed and closed her eyes. “We finally know who she was with all those nights she’d been absent. She was probably the informant for the spies the silver court had sent to examine our border territories.”

“That’s… treason, isn’t it?” Vitrius asked as she nodded and he grimaced. “Goodness. There’s never a peaceful moment amongst your kind, is there?”

“You are one to talk,” Deneb frowned. “Exactly how many wars has your species started over trivial matters?”

“This isn’t about us,” Vitrius retorted as Asha quietly conceded Deneb’s point. “Drama aside, have you received any more intel from that other source? Perhaps they might know something given how they were the ones who’d been rather quick to inform you of the Myrkadius’s infiltration attempts!”

“No,” she shook her head. “Lately…They’ve been strangely silent…”

“Were you ever able to figure out who the source of that intel was?”

“Not yet. I’ve combed through all the spy networks in every corner of the universe, but it seems as if whoever it was spared no expense to ensure they wouldn’t be discovered…a calculated action no doubt, but if my suspicions are correct, I believe it originated from a different court.”

“There’s only one other court that would bother concerning themselves with the affair of the silver ones…” Vitrius added. “Perhaps you should look into allying with them.”

“That might not be possible,” she scowled. “The Solaris, no matter how friendly he may appear to be has always been rather adamant on staying away from us. Whether it be because of his friendship with the Nocturnes, or his partial ownership of the Terracotta court, my mother was never able to get anywhere when it came to attempting to secure an alliance between our courts.”

“But that should be changing rather soon,” Vitrius spoke with a small note of hope in his voice. “I overheard that the Solaris had personally requested that none of the astronomers attend the Sentenga Solstice this time.”

“I take it most of you weren’t pleased with that,” her eyes glowing rather smugly as Vitrius scowled. 

“Why would we be?” 

She chuckled. “Well if it’s of any consolation to you, I’ve heard the reasoning behind said the decision was on behalf of the Myrkadies and the Nocturnus, who by all means plan to be in attendance when the heir to the court is formally announced.”

“The Nocturnus and Myrkadius are attending?! I thought the Myrkadius and the Solaris despised each other!”

“Shocking isn’t it?” Deneb smiled, evidently amused. “But he’s done so under the notion of promising peace talks and alliances. All too coincidental, but I suppose from the view of the Solaris…if he were to establish a new level of tolerance between the two it would undoubtedly strengthen the council’s faith and favor towards him, which is exactly what he would need given both the Nocturnus’s growing influence and the legacy he is leaving behind for his heir.”

“Agreed, but…did he have to do that by excluding us?!” Vitrius huffed. “We’ve been working on facilitating their relations for millennials!”

“So it seems…” Deneb calmly replied. “He was after all strangely absent from the council meetings today….Any idea on who the chosen heir will be?”

“I’ve heard inklings of theories from my colleagues… most seem to be torn between Tomiolin and Rigil Kentaurus… Tomiolin is said to be rather studious and disciplined, whereas Kentaurus is said to be a bit more…unfocused, but even then most can’t deny that his charisma, sheer power, and superior skills as a healer and warrior almost make him the perfect candidate.”

Deneb’s lip curled, as she scoffed, before asking, “And what of Proxima? Does anyone believe in his chances?”

“He was…considered…but they didn’t really want to entertain the thought as much…apparently he’s a bit of an odd one…”

“Indeed,” she nodded as she stood. “He is more crimson than anything else.”

“Proxima is half crimson?” he raised a brow towards her.

“Yes.”

“How do you know that?”

“His eyes…” she whispered as her darkened claws grazed the side of her face. 

“Are they the same as the crimson royal family?” She nodded, as her expression hardened and her eyes narrowed. “I see…But if your mother was interested in pursuing an alliance of sorts, did she ever formally introduce you to the three princes?”

“Yes.”

“Well…” Vitrius began. “Would you…ever entertain the idea of a possible alliance with one of them?”

“No.”

“No?” he took a step back and looked her over. “And why not!?”

“For as admirably disciplined and focused as he is, Tomiolin lacks any meaningful warrior prowess. Proxima is of crimson blood, and Kentaurus is…Kentaurus.”

“Meaning?”

“He is kind. Too kind, to be effective when in a leading role. Therefore he is not in the least bit desirable.”

“Well then, we are fortunate that you seek to make him an ally and not your husband!” Vitrius smiled as her gaze darkened. He must’ve seen the displeased look on her face as he cleared his throat before promptly adding. “I merely speak facts, Arided. You don’t have to like your allies. But if you can tolerate each other more than any third party, then I think your alliance is safe.”

“But even then, you forget just how crucial ownership of the Terracotta court is for both parties. They’ve been taking care of that minor court for eons, no doubt with the plan of utilizing it to its fullest potential if something were to say unfortunately but not unexpectedly happen to another major court.”

Vitrius eyes widened before he firmly shook his head. “They couldn’t replace your people-,” 

“You’d be surprised,” Deneb casually answered. “But if they are in on it, then that limits my potential for any strong alliance…which brings me back to where I am now…The cerulean court’s best healer now resides in the heart of any enemy’s empire, who strongly supports the crimson court, which very few would think of standing against.” She glanced over her shoulder at Vitrius. “And even though I exposed Vega’s treason it has done little to sway my court’s opinion towards me…if anything it’s only soured their opinion on the family as a whole…so if I am not careful I may end up exhausting all of my options. And what then? Would this higher power that you think put me on the throne save me then? Or would it be to abandon me to the hands of my enemies?” she asked, as her grip on her forearm tightened.

“I…I do not know, my queen. I wish I did…”

“I know…I only wish…wait”  her voice lowered as thunder rippled through the air once more, as both astronomer and star’s eyes turned to the sky.

Silence filled the air momentarily before the sound of thunder emerged once more, its pitch and volume heightening as it turned into a roar.

“Did you feel that?” she whispered.

“Feel what?!,” Vitreous retorted as he fearfully eyed the roaring waves>

“What’s happening?!” Asha shrieked, covering her ears as she turned to face Cepheus.

“Your Highness!” called one of the guards as several soldiers rushed to the shoreline. A few pointed their spears to the air, as several surrounded the queen. 

“A powerful presence has been detected approaching the planet!”

“This way your Highness! You must be prepared to evacuate if needed!” one of the guards called, as another roar pierced the air, this time accompanied by a bright beam of golden light as the clouds tore open revealing something that was headed straight towards the ocean.

In a heartbeat the queen was gone, sharply yelling commands as she headed towards the ocean where the object had disappeared. 

“Arided!” Vitrius screamed as he ran after her. “Arided come back!”

His words were lost to the wind as three pairs of blue wings emerged from her back. She was a mere blur as she swiftly dove into the dark depths below.

And then everything was still.

[highonmarvel]

Control [prologue]

When an audition that could make your career is offered, you move back to New York and reconnect with your estranged father, and find out his old friend is the casting director, but you’ll have to do much more than wanted to get the role.

CONTENT WARNINGS! all my fics contain dark content including, but not limited to, noncon, dubcon, and explicit descriptions of violence and abuse. DEAD DOVE: DO NOT EAT. 18+, please!

Note; this is loosely based on Black Swan (2010). enjoy! hopefully. of course, love to @thehydraethereal.

You were 10 when you realised your father was selfish. No one else thought so—he was Captain America, for God’s sake! Always willing to risk his life for the nation and the world, but never for his only daughter, his only child. Maybe one could say you were the selfish one, but while you respected him as a hero, you resented him as a father. You had nightmares where he got hurt, and you pleaded with him to leave that life behind—he said he did this to protect you, but what use was your being alive if he never made time to see it? After the ordeal with the Sokovia Accords, his disappearance solidified your anger towards him. You weren’t even a teenager yet, and he did bother to even say goodbye.

Life with your mother wasn’t at all bad—she was wonderful, and supportive, and you understood why she left your father; just like you, she was always anxious about him, until she couldn’t take it anymore. You were young when your parents split, having just started grade one, but you refused to go with her, longing to look up to the superhero she left behind. You couldn’t understand why she would leave the bravest man on the planet, why she wanted him to stop saving the world, until you lived with him. There’s hardly anything worse than getting back from school to an empty house, staying up past midnight waiting for your father to come back, and then watching him limp in, battered and bruised, his suit dirty and ashen, and not being able to do anything to help him.

When you moved in with your mother, you still felt a part of you was just undiscovered. You had this nervous energy you needed to release, you felt the need to do something with your body like your father did, but running and boxing were too undisciplined for you, and made your life feel more out of control than it offered a respite, and that’s when you found dance. You could use your body to express yourself without fear of losing control: you never wanted to go back to not knowing what could happen. You were often told this was a detriment to your unmatched talent, your refusal to improvise and let go hindered your performance, but still you refused to let yourself fall victim to potential injury, you couldn’t bear to see your mother that stressed over someone’s health again.

There weren’t many ballerinas in the small town you lived in, and so your relative popularity didn’t mean too much to you, but when a New York instructor saw a small production of The Nutcracker, you, for the first time, really realised your true potential. Ballet was your life, but moving back to New York ten years after leaving made you nervous. How many times had The Avengers destroyed that city? And it wasn’t really fear of being a casualty that made you anxious, but rather the constant reminders you’d see of your father’s heroism, and that would undoubtedly bring back unpleasant memories.

You couldn’t pass up the opportunity to perform Swan Lake. Your mother said she couldn’t come with you to New York, and you understood why. Neither of you had much money—until you passed that audition and made a stable career out of it, you certainly weren’t going to make it in that big city.

Maybe this big step brought about a little recklessness, because despite your years of conditioning yourself to poise and composure, you felt compelled to try out for the Black Swan, and lose yourself this time, to a more bold and seductive style, possibly to show your father he had missed out on your transformation into a woman.

It wasn’t hard to track him down, and you were short with him on the phone.

“I’ve got an audition in NYC. I need a place to stay for a little. If it works out, I’ll be able to get a new place, if not, I move back home. It’ll be less than a month.”

“An… audition?” he started, and you could practically hear his brows furrow, but he seemed to think better than to ask too many questions, and he sounded almost desperate though he tried to keep his voice level. On the verge of begging, he continued, “That’ll be amazing— it— it’ll be alright, honeycakes.”

You couldn’t bring yourself to cringe at the nickname, instead overcome by a wave of nostalgia, somehow longing for a memory of fatherly love you never really had. You cleared your throat and gave a quick confirmation of the date you’d be arriving before hanging up, and deciding it would be best to hold your head in your hands for a little, taking deep breaths to process this.

You had packed very light—a single bag—to make sure he really got the message you didn’t plan on staying any longer than necessary. You're surprised that when get out the cab, he’s standing on the sidewalk, hesitantly waiting for you to step out. You nearly don’t recognise him: he has a full beard now, and even though it has been ten years, it seems his soul had been wearied beyond that, his demeanour close to flat until you step into view, and he stands straighter as he sucks in a deep breath and gives a tight-lipped smile.

“Hi,” he greets, slightly breathless.

“Hi, Dad.”

He sighs in relief when you say the word, and you know why: he had abandoned you, he was right to think you didn’t consider him your father anymore, but the word slipped out, and you couldn’t take it back if you wanted to.

He surprisingly pulls you into a hug, squeezing you tightly, but you can’t bring yourself to return his embrace. He awkwardly pulls away and takes a step back.

“You’re so grown up,” he whispers as he looks at you, something like regret in his eyes. And you want to make a snarky comment about how he missed out on it but bite your tongue and give a slight smile and a small nod, rocking back and forth on your heels.

“Welcome home.”

♬

[my beloved taglist: @cowboysnbugs, @keito-123, @vogueprincess, @cjand10, @mybabygirllove, @chinggay85-blog]

[rarepairdumpster]

Firelight Viktor AU Part 1

Inspired by THIS ART

Pairing: Viktor/Silco (Arcane) Rating: M C/W: Trauma Discussion, Hint to previous SA, Honestly this AU is a lot of politics with underlying sexual tension

Firelight Viktor taking full advantage of Silco's bad depth perception to race circles around him.

Silco eventually grabbing him and pinning him down and snarling in his ear about choosing the wrong person to be toying with.

And then Silco hears the sound of something priming, and he looks down to see a freakishly advanced pistol a hairs breadth from his belly.

"You sure about that?" Viktor asks, voice carrying an almost mechanical overtone.

Silco smirks and releases Viktor, holding his hands up. "That's quite the weapon you have. Fascinating engineering."

"Keep moving. Don't stop until I say," Viktor orders 

Silco complies, but he's endlessly amused.

Finally, Viktor is back on his feet, gripping something to keep his balance. The pistols aim never wavers though.

Next thing Silco knows, a blast of energy hits him. He wakes up a while later, groggy and sore from where he'd slammed into the ground.

"A stunner," Silco growls, anger chasing away his grogginess. And then he laughs. "Ingenious, Viktor." 

Because he already put 2 and 2 together.

The next time Viktor comes home from the lab, Silco is sitting on his couch smoking and drinking brandy.

"Do sit down, Viktor. I thought we might finish our conversation."

Viktor can't get over the audacity of Silco inviting him to sit down in his own fucking house.

Viktor chides himself for not grabbing his stunner before he left the lab. "I'm not interested."

"No?" Silco smirks. "Then I suppose there won't be an issue when Chief Marcus arrives in ten minutes."

Viktor freezes. "You wouldn't."

"Wouldn't I?" Silco's gaze sharpens. "As far as the firelights are concerned, I'm an unscrupulous monster; isn't that so?" 

Silco takes a sip of his brandy, casual as fuck.

Viktor looks down and his grip on his cane tightens. "You flooded the Lanes with Shimmer. You're constantly sending your enforcer dogs after us. What else am I supposed to think?"

"Flooded the Lanes with Shimmer?" Silco laughs at that. Actually, full-body laughs for about 3 seconds. "As powerful as I am, I can't force an entire city to become addicts."

Silco pushes a hand through his hair, laugh fading to a resigned smile.

"I don't make anyone take Shimmer," Silco continues. "It fills a medical need that Piltover has both caused and neglected to treat. Addiction....I can't control that. All I can do is help mitigate the torture of withdrawal."

"It-Its not medicine," Viktor repeats what he's heard Ekko say dozens of times before. "No one has ever been helped by it. Just hurt."

"It is medicine." Silco taps the side of his face and chuckles, without mirth. "Without Shimmer, I'd be dead on the side of the road. I was the first person to use it. To be helped. And I fought to make it available to others. And the firelights have been trained to look at me like I'm an animal with no compassion. Because that boy, the saviour, carries a personal grudge against me."

"He said you killed Benzo and Vander," Viktor spits. "I don't blame him for having a grudge."

"Did he also tell you I killed the enforcer that Benzo and Vander were about to sell us all out to?" Silco raises an eyebrow. "Sit, boy, and I'll tell you my side of things."

Viktor purses his lips, but sits, as far from Silco as he can

"You seem older than the others. Where were you during the Day of Ash?" Silco asks once Viktor has settled in.

"Hiding," Viktor answers, frowning severely, "with my mother. We lived on the Entresol. She was ill and I'm...."

Viktor gestures to his leg. "But we heard the screams. The gunshots."

"We orchestrated it, Vander and I," Silco explained. "Our plan was to take control of the bridge and if we could, the port. If we had something Piltover required to survive, they would be forced to listen and negotiate." Silco's fist balls up and his jaw tenses. 

"We had a mole. Within our organization. I had been so careful with who we let in, but I was distracted." He thinks of Vander and Felicia and the kids. All liabilities. All weaknesses.

"Topside knew we were coming," Silco sighed. "We were out manned and outgunned before we even stepped foot on that bridge."

Viktor bows his head, listening. It had been a massacre. He remembers seeing all the bodies piled up the next morning, waiting to be buried. Remembers the flies buzzing around, crawling between parted lips and over open eyes locked in terror. He remembers the smell. He almost smells it now, thinking about it. 

"The enforcers cut through us like paper," Silco says quietly, voice little more than whisper now, as if his words might disturb the past. "We never stood a chance. Most of us were slaughtered without mercy. And those of us that survived.....we were hunted like animals, chased through the Lanes so hard we thought we'd never make it. We had to split up, try to separate their numbers,  give someone a chance to live and keep fighting."

Viktor is enthralled as he listens, unconsciously leaning forward a bit as Silco speaks. He had never heard this before, from anyone. No one talked about it and now he knew why.

"I ran to where Vander and I said we would meet if things went south," Silco swallows thickly and his fingers trail down the side of his face. "But he had gone mad. He blamed me for all the death. Said that I was the one responsible. His own hand did this to me."

When his fingers trail down the side of his face, some of the foundation/concealer is rubbed away, leaving patches of sickly grey skin visible.

It also reveals how deep the gouges from Vander's nails really are, like craters almost. He looks like he was mauled by an animal. A large cat or a wolf or something.

To think this was inflicted on him by a man?!

"I got away, barely," Silco goes on. "If it hadn't been for the Doctor and shimmer, the river toxins would have taken far more from me than just my eye."

"I...I don't know what to say," Viktor says softly, mind reeling.

Silco smirks. "You don't have to say anything." He finishes his brandy and sets the glass down before standing up. "You're smarter than this, Viktor. Just think about what I've said."

"Wait," Viktor says, raising a hand. "What did you mean when you said Vander and Benzo were going to sell us out? You've explained why you were at odds, but not that."

Silco sighed. "When the rebellion failed, Vander became weak. The only reason the lanes were saved was because he made a deal with topside." Silco's expression turned sharp. "He peddled our lives like tokens in the name of 'peace' when all it did was allow Piltover to keep their boot on our necks."

Viktor hesitates, uncertain.

"And Benzo encouraged him," Silco spat. "An insidious voice whispering in his ear. I don't have proof of who betrayed us on the Day of Ashes, but I have my suspicions."

Silco took a deep breath and ran a hand through his hair. 

"I don't blame Ekko," Silco finally says, causing Viktor's eyes to widen in surprise. "He didn't know what Benzo really was like. I doubt many people did."

his mind flashes back to a time in the last drop where Benzo was too drunk and cornered Silco and wouldn't take no for an answer

"At the end of the day, Ekko is just a misguided child looking for someone to blame for his heartache."

Silco can see that Viktor is lost in thought, so much information overloading him a bit. "You know where to find me," Silco finally says, tossing a card with a neon symbol that resembled an eye onto the end table.

Silco is gone before Viktor emerges enough to say "Hm?"

Part 2 Arch + Woods

[things-arent-what-they-seem66]

Adam turned his head to the side, he saw where all the cables connecting to his new visor were.

Lucifer: Those are temporary.

Adam looked away to the coldness on his chest, he was met with a..... Red robot arm, it was similar to the one that Lucifer made with his giant ro-

Oh.

Oh.

His gaze followed the arm and yeah, it was connected to Lucifer's body. Adam felt a little bad, it was different when he thought Lucifer died in that explosion but to live and lose your arm and by the looks of it an eye and get covered in scars? Shits rough.

Not that he'll ever voice that.

Adam: Why the fuck would you do this?

Lucifer removed his arm: I already said, you would have died in the street and I saved you.~ You're welcome, you could also say that it's an eye for an eye.

Adam glared, or at least he hoped he was.

Lucifer: And now you owe me.~ You want to leave? Work off the cost of the visor.

Adam: I almost don't want to ask.

Lucifer: It's a 3.6 million dollar device.~

Adam: WHAT!? You're full of shit!!

The fuck was it made out of!? Gold!?

Lucifer: I assure you I am not. It's not only giving you perfect vision, but it does everything a computer and phone does and more.

The cables released from the visor and that was Adams indicated he could finally sit up.

Loyalty program engaged

Adam curled his lip and looked at Lucifer: The fuck is a loyalty program?

Lucifer: Oh! Just a little added touch of mine, you can't hurt or betray me even if you want to. It won't let you, you are now and forever loyal to your King and Red Leader. Me.~

His visor scanned Lucifer and had it committed to memory that he was King/Red Leader.

Adam, in his anger raised his fist to punch him only to find his muscles locked. The fuck!?

Adam: You bitch.

Lucifer: No Adam, I'm afraid you're the "bitch" here. Now, get dressed there is much to do and seeing as you have energy we'll get right to it.

Adam looked to where there were clothes at the end of his bed. Glaring he snatched them up and went to the bathroom to change, not having much of a choice.

Once in the bathroom he leaned against the door and covered his mouth.

He was fucked.

Adam wanted to cry but he didn't even have tear ducts anymore!

Knock knock knock!

Lucifer: We don't have all day Adam.

Adam glared, he put on the clothes. At least they looked nice........

Lucifer smirked when the door opened: There, was that so hard?

Adam: Whatever.

Evesworld AU in "The End"

After an outing with the three of them, they go back home and Adam sees someone picking the lock on his door.

Adam:

Who goes there?!

Lucifer, coming out of the shadows:

Hello... Old friends!

Eve, excited to see him:

Lucifer! It's so good to see you again!

Lucifer:

Yeah, I hope you don't mind me letting myself in.

Lilith:

Who are you again?

Eve:

This is Lucifer? Our old roommate? He used to live here?

Lilith:

Hmm... Doesn't ring a bell.

Lucifer:

You seriously don't remember?

Adam:

Well, we're missing the real question here. Why are you here? Didn't you move out, like permanently?

Lucifer: Well now I'm back!

Adam: Seriously Eve? Why didn't you tell me?

Eve: I did tell you!

It doesn't count if she had a mouthful of cereal munching on it without really speaking.

Lucifer: Where's the couch?

Eve: Adam sold it to a pirate.

Lucifer: Ha! Classic stupid Adam.

Adam glared and grinds his teeth together as Lucifer pulls out a tiny box and pushes a button making a new couch.

Adam: When are you leaving?

Lucifer: Leaving? I'm here to stay!

Dun dun dun!!

[bean-face]

sketches of a couple of my oc's

knight maid elf and goblin mage

@firefilledhikey figured you'd wanna see these girls

sorry the trans homunculus isn't around i don't have a drawing of that one yet

[idontmindifuforgetme]

megan thee stallion is the perfect example of unbothered energy. nicki has repeatedly vagueposted about her, gone on unhinged rants about her, gone so far as to mention her dead mother (such a classless low blow), threatened her on live, and has now released the tackiest diss track in history. and what has megan done? literally nothing. she straight up ignored her, aside from that one ig story where she posted herself laughing (which was perfect btw). she is the epitome of “i will not dignify that w a response.” i love it.

[cinammonelles]

I want to talk about this page in particular because the implications here are so riveting.

Lavi is currently 19. Allen is believed to be 16.

Which means that either

The Bookmen are lying

Bookman Jr. did die then and Allen either didn't age the first few years or his age got fucked up multiple times before he met Mana

The first seems highly improbable at this point tbh. If the Bookmen were planning to make Allen take the poison to make him remember his past then lying about when Past!Junior (presumably) died seems counterintuitive and would only make Allen mistrust them more once he was in full possession of his memories.

It doesn't seem like Allen de-aged to an infant. He says his earliest memories are from when he was in the circus. Even if he did age back to an infant, he would've needed caretakers and nothing in the story suggests he had any.

(Note how little Allen doesn't have his Innocence in the last panel. What the fuck does this mean Hoshino.)

Allen looks perhaps 4-5 in both of these panels. If Past!Junior died over 19 years ago and Allen aged linearly since then, then he would have to be 23+ by now. Even considering the possibility that he aged back to an infant, he he should be 19+ by now and he looks barely over 17.

We can assume that he must've aged in a somewhat even fashion once he joined the circus because otherwise the performers would've commented on it at some point of time.

What happened in the years between Junior dying and little Allen getting into the circus? Was he in a child's body till he acquired his Innocence? How did he even acquire his Innocence in the first place?

There's also a final possibility that came to me while I was writing this post— Lavi was born while Past!Junior was still alive. He was born with the 'mark' because Past!Junior was no longer fit to be a Junior. I genuinely have no idea how Hoshino will explain this. Will it be some sort of corruption? Memory loss? Chronic illness?

All of them seem equally unlikely options at this point. But so did the possibility of Allen and Bookman Jr. being different people before this chapter :)

Either ways, this was a very intriguing chapter and I'm looking forward to whatever Hoshino has in store for us.

[soulstagger]

One hand pushes the blade as much as she can into Soleil's ribs, the other pushes against their shoulder, half of her trying to get away, the other trying to kill.

Her eyes focus, blood pours from her mouth, the flickering of her body stops, and slowly the energy around her dissipates. Energy from all over the galaxy, the cosmos, the many universes the two of them have seen, that Soleil will see, there's a distinct feeling that pierces all those related to Zak'yanna.

Solidified, the core essence of who she is and what she is, is centered in Soleil's hand. Her body is very much now just a biological with a large battery isn't, and the red blood that forms it pours out as spikes pierce all over.

"Soleil..." Her hand releases the blade and rests on the other shoulder, there's no vibrant light in her eyes, there's no beaming life that exudes from her. There is no sign of the woman who came to her that one night, and offered her the world.

The crunch, the gem ripped out of where her heart would be, Zak'yanna's body stumbling back a few steps. Head hung back, legs twisted slightly, arms at her sides.

She stares blankly upwards, blood pours from the hole in her chest. Her hand slowly raises, despite Soleil holding what is, her core, what should be all of Zak'yanna. The body still reaches out towards her.

Soleil's victorious words are met with a low, weak bloody gargle of words.

"Perfect...//// / ////..." The last words are unintelligible, they're not given to Soleil. But their tone suggests a final mockery of what Soleil thinks of herself.

The body falls forward, lifeless, laying in a pool of red.

Zak'yanna, the final guardian of the Redbellion galaxy, has died.

Her arm twisted, unable to jam that spike inside, pulling at Soleil's grip as she felt her energy waning. A sudden drop in flux, a solidification forming inside her body. A pulling effect centralizing the rather hard to pin down Zak'yanna into a single point.

She can't hold onto the spike, both arms dug into her own body to try and grab Soleil's hand. Lifted to her toes just a bit as Soleil's head arcs back. Blue energy jolts off her trying to carve Soleil apart, the pain is finally fully hitting her body.

"You are lost S-soleil." Her image flickers, trying to escape but she can't. She grows weaker and weaker and has to act, forming blue energy into a wave she drags it down behind to cut Soleil's arm off, or at least forcing her to loosen her grip so Soleil can turn around.

Even when she's face to face with Soleil, her visage twisted, energy flickering, Fae pulls a small blade and tries to jam it towards Soleil's throat.

"To be deluded by the red!? NEVER! My dear student, so lost.." Blood finally dribbling down her lips, solidified enough, centralization enough, the real Zak'yanna was materializing into Soleil's grip.

And everywhere. Those that felt her energy, her embrace, her life.

Would feel it slipping away.

She jams the blade into Soleil, though her target of the girl's heart might escape her aim given those ghosts of Soleil's that protect her.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

it's been a little bit but i gotta say. that diary of a wimpy kid punchline was SO GOOD. like you /told us/ that the first two were a set up for a joke and yet it still landed absolutely perfectly. like. /wow/ i was CACKLING and i still giggle a little whenever i think about it. just phenomenal execution

Comedy comes in threes, and sometimes that means two great high fives before slapping a diary of a wimpy kid crossover in your hand.

[nohasslecastle]

As much as I love spreading the "Sister Beatrice top agenda", I do not think Beatrice would behave anywhere near confident on her first time with Ava.

First of all, it's my headcanon that before Beatrice became a nun she didn't actually get to live or experience a lot, so everything she could have learned in her teenage years, she actually didn't, because her parents were too strict, and she was just too afraid to stand up against them.

Her parents sent her to that boarding school probably because at some point she admitted she had romantic feelings for one of her friends, but that was it, Beatrice is oblivious to love, and relationships, and, of course, to sex.

Add that to the fact that Beatrice is a perfectionist, with a great fear of failure, a control freak that gets overwhelmed when she feels she can't handle the results of any given situation she's involved with... Beatrice doesn't quite know how she should behave around Ava, and the not knowing... that terrifies her.

It's not that she's worried Ava would make fun of her, of course, she would never. But there's just something inherently annoying about not being able to BE good at something, specially when the only way to learn 'that something' is... actually doing it. But, will she be able to be good enough for her? Will she be able to be what she thinks Ava deserves?

When Ava comes back, Beatrice doesn't immediately kiss her, she doesn't jump into a relationship with Ava and certainly she doesn't jump straight to bed with her, simply because she has absolutely no idea how to do it without making it weird. So, of course, their comeback kiss is started by Ava, their "what are we?" conversation is started by Ava, and their first time... guess what? Also started by Ava.

I picture this: after the re-encounter they didn't have much time to talk about what had happened between them, they were once again in survival mode and it's only one day after a big fight that they finally and unintentionally find themselves alone. Everything that happened is weightening on Beatrice and she's pretty much gay panicking every time Ava gets too close to her.

It's not that she doesn't want her, on the contrary she wants her so much she's overwhelmed by a feeling she had never felt before, or at least, not in a very long time and certainly not with enough maturity to understand it. When they last kissed it was a life or death situation, now they are just staring into each other's eyes, something clearly in the air, but everytime she tries to say anything, something holds her back.

Ava tries to give her space. Ava is everything that Beatrice is not. She's reckless, and a risk taker, and if she fails so what? she tries again. However, Ava is aware she closed a line last time... not only on Beatrice's vows but on a restriction she had put on herself. Ava is trying to make things right and Beatrice knows it but at the same time she's begging, begging, Ava to push her, because that's how they work right?

At some point the silence becomes too unbearable and Beatrice is frustrated. She hates that she can't be as resolved as she is in most of her activities and Ava is... kind of having fun at it, looking at the perfect sister Beatrice losing her shit it's fun, it's so unlike her it's amusing.

Ava is laughing and that only makes Beatrice's frustration grow. At some point Beatrice apologizes to Ava "I'm sorry, I really don't know what I'm doing and I hate it" and that's Ava's cue to do what she always does... push her a bit, give her courage. Ava walks slowy towards her "I don't need you to be an expert at this, Bea" she takes Beatrice's hands into hers "remember what I told you before I left? You don't need to be so perfect all the time." She lifts her hand to Bea's cheek and Bea gulps. She watches Bea lean into her touch, close her eyes, she brings her other hand to her chest and she can feel how fast her heart is beating "I only need you to be yourself." She says. And Bea opens her eyes and looks at her.

Ava leans close to her, slowly, giving her time to adjust to the intrusion and when she's a breath from her lips she whispers "can I kiss you again?", looking at her eyes again waiting for an answer. Beatrice would simply nod because, let's be honest, that woman is incapable to form a simple thought when Ava is *that* close to her.

And when they kiss... it's shy, and it's tame, and honestly, Beatrice doesn't know what to do with her hands. Ava would guide them, maybe to her hips "you can touch me" she would state. Ava would open her mouth, begging for *more*, she would let Bea's hair down, touch her shoulders, then her chest, she would find that first button and unpop it. Bea would startle at that, only for a moment, only because she isn't used to it, but looking at Ava, with her lips swollen, panting, big eyes... she would push that thought aside. She would kiss her again and this time she would allow herself to touch Ava, gently, but more determined.

Ava would start walking backwards, as if saying "take me to bed" and Bea would walk slowly before her, with her eyes closed, trying to focus only on Ava's lips because maybe that way she would be able to shut up all the insecurities. They would stumble on their way to the bed and Bea would try to say "I'm sorry" while Ava would put a finger on her lips and just laugh, and say a terrible pun to her. Being there Bea would doubt until she doesn't anymore, until she stops thinking and Ava becomes the only thing she's worried at.

[ganondoodle]

watched a video of someone reacting to skittys totk video and it really reinvigorated my hatred for that game- HOWEVER i am gritting my teeth and am not writing about it bc i feel like whatever rant i will write is gonne be wasted time since the stupid book exists and can change it all (from what i HAVE seen for the worse lmao) so i feel like until i get my hands on it (be it physical or digital though i do not want to spend money on anything with that name attached ever again) i shouldnt write anything ...

[walkyjake]

it’s too bad i can’t mosh to ambergris though i need him to make a song for a specific purpose and i guess i could with intrasport like it’s the closest one that also justifies being able to jump around in there whichhhhh is why i’m sad that i have to miss Amyl show near me because (sound of metallic clang loud crash etc) what was that Well first of all a Looot of their songs i want to run aroufntd to but probably (i become emotionless) Maggot i thhink is so high priority for me ahn it’s so great and