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fanficwriterlover · 1 year ago

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My Choice Our Consequence

Chapter 1: The Consequence...

Summary: You're a sniper/medic, part of the team 141. Everyone considers you their light, however, your light has diminished and has started taking a toll on the rest of the team because of a choice you made...now you have to face the consequences of your actions and live with that reminder forever..

Expectations: Slow burn, Breakup, Depression, Panic Attacks, Yelling, Mentions of Abuse, Mentions of SA, Romance, Slow Romance, Fighting, Violence, Blood, Killing, Shooting,Stabbing, Smut, Fluff, Flirting, Teasing, etc...

Call Sign: Hera or Lil Light

Word Count: 7.4k

A03 Version

Did you predict this would happen to you ? No...not to your full extent of your brain capacity. Were you regretting that night because you were emotional that night and took a huge risk ? Absolutely ! You wanted to kick yourself so hard for how stupid you were for not being rational, and God for bid even allowing him to keep it in. Yet, there you were, trembling in your bathroom holding a mere plastic with such simple symbols that held so much weight...

"Fuck..." you mumble to yourself. To be honest, you were horrified by this revelation, because you had broken up with your ex over a month ago, and neither of you had sex in well ages... yet during your time of solitude, you took the liberty to drown your pain with another man. Now in some cases this shouldn't be a big deal right ? I mean...just tell the man you laid with, that apparently your birth control didn't really prevent the bastards bloody seeds from entering your womb and creating a growing child. Oh yeah, with that, your ex decided to walk back into your life wanting a second chance, and he's been awfully persistent in stalking and threatening via text messages and more. Oh and to top it off...the possible father to be, had been avoiding you like the plague. So yes...everything is just lovely. You groan out in a choked sob yet you grumbled with anger. Of all people and of all times...why you ?

Over a month ago~

You had to get yourself together though, because unfortunately you weren't some mere woman who just happened to be knocked up...oh to make it worse you just so happened to be a Sargent who is part of the task force 141 as their designated sniper/medic and to make it WORSE. You were supposed to be leaving for a mission in the next hour. You dropped the plastic into your sink as you slouched down onto the cold tile flooring pressing your back to the wall and cradling your head "Oh fuck...what am I going to do" you nearly sobbed trying to hold back your tears from gushing down your cheeks.

God forbid they notice the tear stains on your cheek, or puffy eyes that are blood shot and red nose, your team will definitely be on your arse about what's got you so moody. Honestly when you noticed your mood being more...well gruff you simply thought it was due to stress. Especially what happened a month ago....all you wanted was to be left alone to eat your breakfast especially with how horrible your morning has started, the one solitude moment of peace and enjoyment. Mind you, you loved the company of Soap and Gaz (your teammates) but for some reason, their obnoxious banter and rowdiness was only making you irritable. Honestly you thought it was from lack of sleep considering a week prior your ex has been unrelenting on getting a hold of you, asking for forgiveness and wanting to try again.

He was a civilian, you knew him since highschool before you enlisted. However, this job demanded a lot and your time became few and few. Which caused a tear in your relationship, even though your ex knew of the reality of your job you always did your best to reach out to him and spend any waking hour to contact him. Sure, there was signs of distancing but you didn't know better....then after one mission, you came back early, and as eager as you were to surprise your once boyfriend, you found him on your couch with another woman. It was an earth shattering moment. In that moment of weakness you did something stupid...

I don't know how long I was standing outside in the rain...shaking and crying. An hour ? Two ? Three ? Did it honestly matter ? The image of your boyfriend in between the legs of a woman you've never seen on your couch shattered you into pieces. You were standing before the gates at your base, debating on whether to return to your bunk, but everyone knew you would be going home to your flat to be with your boyfriend. Yet the idea of confrontation by your team wasn't something you wanted to deal with at the moment. Let alone for them to see you in such a state. So you decided to do your best to sneak past everyone. Slowly dragging your feet, you made your way into the building where all the bunkers were, you could hear members laughing loudly and celebrating as you passed the lounge area. You tried to remain unnoticed and silent, sneaking by, which in the moment you thought you were successful. Drawing near as you kept walking down the halls to your door, however, what you didn't realize was a looming shadow who was watching your every move. Just as you were about to open your door-

"Why are you drenched ?" A deep Manchester voice spoke, that all so familiar voice sent a rush up your spin and it wasn't even from the cold of your soaked clothes. His voice always made you tremble and flustered. Hesitantly you made eye contact with the owner of the voice, seeing the balaclava of the skull man standing dauntingly 6'4" with his blonde lashes partially slitting his almond eyes that took in your features. Even with his eyes on you, you wanted to shrink. Mind you, Ghost and you had no qualms with one another but you always found him intimidating yet together you worked well as a team. "I- went for a walk and ended up getting rained on" you fumbled up a lie avoiding eye contact squeezing your hand on the door knob silently praying he wouldn't notice.

"That so?" He says lowly. It makes you gaze back up at him once more not fully looking in his direction as he had his arms crossed still looking down at you, you heavily gulped "Y-Yeah ?" You could see a partial shift over his eyes, it meant he raised a brow at you before approaching you more as he stood directly behind you now, his chest nearly pressing up behind you, this made you hesitantly turn to face your Lieutenant who was looking down at you more seriously. His head tilting down at your short figure his arms coming down to his sides. You had to put a hand up onto his chest to stop him from drawing any closer as your heart began to race and you immediately averted your gaze from his towering figure.

You didn't even realize he had you pinned into your door with his hand over you gripping the ledge of the doorframe as you could feel the rise in your cheeks. "You 're lying. What did he do ?'" his eyes scanned over your features. Obviously the rain did very little to hide your tear stained cheeks and the redness in your eyes. Yet you still refused to meet his gaze. For what felt like an internity his gloved hands reached up and lifted your chin slowly. The sensation of his rough leather skeleton gloves made your eyes widen as he tipped your chin up to meet his looming gaze. How could you look away now. Your eyes latched on to his menacing gaze. You can see his eyes slightly flickered with some kind of emotion...now you wouldn't consider yourself an expert on reading his expressions but you'd like to think you could a little....yet it was impossible that Ghost...the Lieutenant Ghost was sympathetic for you ?

Don't even think you realized what was happening or that he had slightly lifted his balaclava up just over the bridge of his perfectly shaped nose, that showed the hint of a scar that peeked under his mask across his strong high bone cheeks and perfect lips that has a scar slicing the right corner. You didn't even realize then, he leaned near your ear and whispered "Y/n...snap out of it" ....wait no thats not what he said.

"Oi ! Earth to y/n ! You get any shut eye ? I miss your sexy voice Bonnie" Soap snickered as you were brought back into the moment having been in position, as it seemed your mind was seamlessly going to recall that moment between you and the Lieutenant yet, your body already knew what it was doing. You had your sniper rifle in front of you with the scope brushing at your long eyelashes. You were stationed not that many klicks from where the boys were moving into action. You could see Soap stealthily moving around another building trying to move closer to the targets building without alerting the guards until they've breached their walls. Of course, the living myth and legend was leading them closer to the building, he camouflaged impressively well into the shadows for such a big guy.

Again your mind was drifting and the static in your comms rang through your ear as your Lieutenant spoke "Hera. Take the two on the west building." This snapped you to attention as you shifted your scope as he had directed, your finger moving to the trigger as you took a deep breath to stop your queasy stomach. Pulling the trigger you took down one man, who crumbled down quickly the other becoming aware of his partner down but before he could so much as spread the word you had pulled the trigger already and he was down as well. You radio into your comms "Clear. Proceed with caution Bravo 0-7, there's 4 at the back entry." You locked your rifle as you moved your eyes from the scope "Copy that Hera." He says through the comms. You had to shift positions now, lingering in one spot was dangerous, as you slid back from your spot out of sight hitting your comms "Alpha 2-8 moving positions" you swiftly made your way to another spot that gave you a different angle to where the boys were going to be entering as you got into your knees setting down your rifle.

Yet something felt very wrong. You were frozen to the spot, listening intently, your nose, due to your pregnancy, it was heightened and you could smell someone's sweat from where you were. Over the comms you could hear that Soap and Ghost had already breached the walls making their way to find the enemy hiding within the walls. Behind you, there was nothing but high grass, and you were wearing beige clothing to blend to the tall dying grass.

You pull out your knife and pistol, clicking off the safety and check it's loaded. Even now the scent was more potent, you wanted to throw up, the unwanted man was wearing heavy cologne of sorts and for anyone in the SAS that's a stupid move. Even now you could hear the ringing in the comms as Ghost and Soap updated on their movement and such.

Yet even when you heard them ask "Soap, to Alpha 2-8, what's ya status lass ? " you could hear the slight panic in Soap's voice yet right now you were remaining still observing your surroundings. Even now you can hear how frantic Soap was becoming and the deep booming voice of your Lieutenant sounded through your earpiece "Hera. What's your status." He sounded gruff and annoyed probably not to you but you did catch between the two over the comms that the enemy was not in the building and that it was a setup.

That much you already knew. You reached for the comms pressing the button and speaking softly "This is Alpha 2-8....my post has been compromised" and yet that is when you saw your stalker lunge out from the tall grass, immediately you pulled the trigger, but not before he tumbled into you having a knife in hand slicing your shoulder deeply, you yelped upon impact, tumbling to the ground, hitting the back of your head, but not hesitating to wrap your legs around the man who was trying to stab you hovering over you with him trying to push it down to your throat. You grunted trying to hold his grip as he straddled you down, you can hear Soap frantically calling through the comms "Oi! Hera ! Answer us Bonnie !" You couldn't as you grunted pushing with legs to knee him in the groin which caused him to roll off you. Quickly you reached for your dagger and rolled to where he was stabbing down hitting him then the chest, as you didn't hesitate to grab your pistol that was tossed to the side and shoot him in the head.

Panting hard you held your stomach immediately feeling sick, the blood all over your hands and face, the scent...oh God that potent iron scent. You had to move away to empty your stomach all the whole Ghost and Soap were making their way back to your last known location hearing you hurl your stomach. Ghosts loud booming voice could be heard from a distance while he hit the comms "Hera !" You began to cough more as you tried to take deep breaths. Reaching painful to the comms with your wounded shoulder "I'm good. Just had a tussle."

You were shaking looking away from the dead man, not aware that Ghost and Soap reached you. They took in the scene then you. Soap quickly approaching you seeing you look sick and bleeding "Jesus Bonnie... thought we lost you, you sure ki-" he paused mid saying "Aye...you good ?" You were going to respond but it felt like your stomach was acidic. You didn't even know. But your vision began to blur and you fainted. You could only feel strong arms quickly catch you before the fall but it was numb everywhere throughout your body. You could see the skull mask hovering and the slight glimpse of the Mohawk figure looking over you trying to get your attention. But your eyes closed.

White, a color you probably absolutely hated seeing that blinded you in every corner. Sitting in the chair your legs dangling as you fiddled with your fingers. You had recovered after you've fainted when they loaded you on the chopper, you assured the team you were just dehydrated. But of course, Lieutenant gave you that knowing glare that made you relent. You knew what the doctor was going to say, he drew your blood, tended your wounds, and checked for bruising which was on your hips, wrists, and chest.

Even now your anxiety was high as you nearly jumped out of the chair at the sight of a familiar doctor who you'd often work with around the med base. Dr.Connar. Good looking man, he was slender tallish(no where close to military big like Ghost) tustled brownish black hair, deep brown eyes and genuine smile. He was holding your chart and you knew what to expect. "We have got to stop meeting like this y/n." He snickered seeing you as he pulled up a chair in front of you as you gazed up at him waiting for the inevitable. "So...your wound isn't infected. Just some mild bruising will be gone in a couple days. You hit your head I see. Slight bleeding nothing serious though...." this was when he gazes up at you seriously over the chart we he was reading resting it on the table to the side, he leaned forward his elbows resting on his knees as he looked at you seriously

"As you know... protocol. I have to check your blood to ensure you were not given anything into your bloodstream or got an unknown infection." You nodded your head slowly not averting your eyes from his serious gaze. "Then you also know...I must give this report to your Captain of your condition? " you flinched as he considered it as a condition now looking down. His eyes still boring into you as he let out a sigh "What the fuck y/n ! You should've been nowhere near the battlefield. You could've been seriously hurt or killed !" You flinched a bit more, tears forming in your eyes as you couldn't hold it any longer.

"You don't think I don't Fuckin' know that ?!" You cry out in anger yet he doesn't so much as flinch just simply gives you a sympathetic look. "I didn't ask for this ! Any of it !" You get out of the chair huffing annoyed as you began pacing the room his eyes watching your every movement. " You know since you are my patient I'd have to put in you are suspended from combat, training, or field work. Considering even maternity leave by second trimester." He says so casually but it makes you glare daggers at him, deep down logically you know he's right but...fuck you didn't want to have everyone questioning you why you're being pulled off when you are physically fine.

"Please Peter....don't do this to me." You beg him looking at him, he stands up placing a hand on your shoulders making you look at him "Y/n... believe me. I am not doing this as your doctor. I'm doing this as your friend. If something were to happen to you-" you interjected "Nothing will, I can fight-" yet he grips your shoulders more firmly "No ! You could've lost it or your life ! I will not stand by as your doctor or friend to put your life or that child in harms way !"

Child. Huh. Funny, you just found out... could barely even consider it a child as it's just a mere embryo at this point not even a human body formed yet. But deep down, without so much thought your hand slid down touching your stomach and Peter guided you to sit into the chair. "You're my dearest friend. I know this is terrifying...but you have to think outside yourself now" you glance at him as he was boring into your eyes. You knew he was right...deep down you would want to protect your growing child. However, knowing the horrors of the world and your enemies made you terrified to think the timing was just horrible. You couldn't stop. The tears rolled down your face heavily and you sobbed into your friend's shoulder as he let you, hold you.

The next day, you were asked into the office by Captain Price, everyone was expecting you to have to hand in your medical sheet, yet you begged your friend to allow you to talk it out with your captain. You were terrified. Gazing at the door in front of you that had Price's name plate on it, you tentatively rasped your knuckles onto it. As if immediately you hear the Liverpool accent gruffly acknowledge "Enter." John has always been a comforting Captain despite his ranking he valued every solider it's why you remained loyal to this taskforce especially after being handpicking from him. He glances up from the piles of papers he was signing off seeing you enter as he gave you a content smile "Good seeing you Y/n. How are you feeling?"

He motions for you to sit as you do so nervously, "Good sir...um I brought you my medical chart" you reluctantly stretch it out within hand to offer him to look at it as he takes it, even before he opened it you spoked "Permission to ask a favor sir ?" This caught his attention as he set the file down taking in your nervous features. You looked nervous, barely looking like you've slept and definitely have been crying. He tips his head to tell you to go on "Go on..." you let out a shakey breath. "I'd like to request that...my medical condition not be shared outside this room please ?" You almost whispered the please, your eyes begging him to understand and this was a request he was taken back from. Setting the file down rather to hear it from you then read it himself . Honestly John's heart was beating so hard, it was going loudly in his ears "I'll agree...that is if you tell me what it is you have ?"

Honestly his eyes raked over your form, despite being small, you weren't exactly weak, infact he wouldn't even consider you the type to have an illness so imagine his surprise to your request yet nonetheless he was patient and understanding.

You bite your lower lip gripping at the knees of your cargo pants shamefully looking down starting to shake, John placed a gentle hand on your shoulder. You didn't realize he was sitting in front of you at the edge of his desk leaning forward. He was willing to wait until you were ready to tell, and looking into his ocean eyes you gave in "I- I'm pregnant sir..." his eyes were wide for a moment reeling from the news.

Sure he knew you had a boyfriend but you hadn't interacted with him in months that much he was aware of. He would console you some nights when you'd cry about being distant and how he doesn't treat you or touch you the same. Of course he wanted to support you, you were like a daughter to him, so he spoke softly yet with authority "I can see this is a big deal...then I am to presume..." glancing at your figure he didn't know much about pregnant women but he could tell you were no where near showing. "I will not reprimand you y/n...but I need to know." He looks at you seriously waiting.

You knew what he was asking for and it made you even more scared. Having to tell your friend was already a huge step but to tell your captain? "L-Lieutenant G-Ghost sir..." you looked down with shame.

However Price was more shocked than anything. Their Simon Riley? He wanted to gawk at this news but knew that's not what you needed right now, quite frankly he had to contain to his rank. Sitting back "You are aware of the consequences to such inappropriate conduct ? You could be stripped of your rank and court martial." He frowns at you seriously which you nod your head seldomly "Y-Yes sir" he sighs out pinching the bridge of his nose "Does he know ?" This makes you flinch. You really did not want to walk up to your Lieutenant and tell him you're possibly pregnant with his child. That's a big F no. You glance up at your Captain. "No sir... I don't think I can." He gives you a look as you respond immediately "Please Captain, I don't want to cause trouble. I'm begging you. Please make an excuse to suspend me." You gave him a pleading look.

Now under most cases he would've given into your puppy dog eyes but this was serious. You were asking him not only as a Captain but as the best friend to Ghost. To go behind his back and lie to him. He crossed his arms over his chest letting out a deep sigh "Y/n...I am not keen on withholding information from my lieutenant-" you were about to interject yet he raised his hand, which made you silence blushing heavily heart racing "However...I'll grant this request on ONE condition." You seemed hopeful with this proposition. Yet John gave you a very straight look, "I don't care when you do it. But you MUST tell my Lieutenant." He looks at you daring you to object. Now deep down you wanted to. The fear in your eyes was evident. Approach Ghost ? No way...I can barely handle his intense gaze let alone confronting him about this. You bit the inside of your cheek considering it, before relenting "I-I agree sir...when I find the right time. I will. I promise." He studies you looking to see if you were lying but he found none, if anything he just saw how fearful you were from all this so he had to trust you.

Nodding his head accepting that answer he moved back around to his chair sitting down "I will work on a reason for your suspension until you've well..." he seemed flustered to say the least as he cleared his throat. "I'll have Laswell make sure to come up with a decent reason to keep the other lads off your radar." You smile gratefully nodding you head. As you salute him then take your leave. You didn't realize how much you were holding your breath as you let out a shaky breath. Great...now how do you tell a Ghost that he knocked you up ? Grumbling softly you began walking to your bunker, by now, Price was probably working up a reason for your suspension so it seemed only right to pack. Perhaps maybe you'll find the right thing to say to him...why you....such a big responsibility on your shoulders and yet you have to make a choice. Yet depending on what you choose...will it be good ? Or make it worse ?

You make your way down the hall, heading to the food court where everyone was gathered, grabbing their trays of food. Seeing faces that were unfamiliar or people you recognize but never really got to know. Everyone was chatting with another. You took in the room, it was almost overwhelming. Especially the smell, god, the smell of men was potent. Was it always this musky smelling with different colognes drifting through the air. It made you want to hurl your stomach. That was when you felt a large arm drape roughly over your shoulders causing to grunt from the impact as you look up to meet a familiar blue eyes and Mohawk figure. Soap. “There you been lass ! Save a seat for ya’ !” You sigh inwardly “Jesus Christ Soap, I just got discharged-“ he seems to immediately look at you worriedly “You broken Bonnie ?” he studies you almost inspecting to find the source of your pain “Nah, I’m good. Just bit sick to the stomach” he seems to relax at that patting you gently on the shoulder and pushing you to go up to grab some food “Glad you good, had us worried there for a ‘ec, shoot, don’t think I’ve ever seen LT so panicked.” He wiggles a brow at you which makes you shrink and blush before batting his arm away as you grab a tray to pick out food. “Oh hush Soap…any news since-?” you ask curiously as you grab fruits and a salad then take a glance in his direction.

He was stacking his plate up with everything. Jesus that man could eat. It made you start to realize now that you should probably eat more than you’re used to since now you’ll be feeding for two. You decided based on the selection of food presented that you would think your stomach would tolerate is a simple chicken sandwich. Placing it on your plate Soap mumbles lowly “No…nothing. Fuck’n sucks. Feels like we just chasing shadows.” You look up at him sympathetically and toss and apple at him which he fumbles to catch yet does looking at you “You need to even out your diet Soap. Need some form of fruit or veggies in that belly of yours.” As you look down with a smirk to his tray. Boy this Scottish man can eat, not one not two BUT three sandwiches. You snort shaking your head dismissively walking toward where Gaz was seated at a table waving the two of you over. As Soap snaps back “Oi ! I’ll have you know I gotta feed my gains ! We all can’t be tiny and slender like you” he grumbles. This makes you blush, because already you felt you were more bloated than usual. Sure the bump wasn’t as pronounced if anything looked like you gained a few pounds. However, you were always athletic and physically in shape.

Taking a seat next to Gaz you smile at him, which he returns the gesture “Glad to see you well Hera. Had us all worried.” You blush and smile at him. Oh Gaz was probably secretly your favorite he was charming and sweet and absolutely the best kind of friend you could ask for. He is the definition of blood brother. You two always looked after each other and you were the one who mentioned his name to Price so there was a mutual friendship long before the taskforce. “Sorry for making you worry…by the way where’s Ghost ?” you cock your head looking at both men. They seem to frown at the mention of his name but Soap finally answers “Honestly…’aven’t seen him much lately…LT been very weird lately. But I bet he’ll be happy to see you up and about,” he pats your shoulder playfully smirking at you. You laugh softly. Eventually you finally begin eating, guess they seem oblivious to asking why you fainted which you were glad. They knew exactly how to make you relax, between their bickering and story telling they made you relax and feel normal and forget about the looming secret growing.

Immediately your instinct is to reach to your thigh where you usually wore your strap holding your dagger but of course. You were literally butt naked. Turning fully to look at the figure, you realize it’s none other than Ghost. You breathe out a sigh “Fuckin’ hell Ghost. Why you have to be such a creep !” you hiss out in an annoyance after nearly being scared trying to soothe your heart rate down as you look at his eyes rake over you. “You need to sharpen your awareness then. Could’ve been anyone.” He says seriously, his arms crossed over his chest looking at you. Now not only were you flustered but him correcting you at the moment really triggered you as you snap, “Well I shouldn’t need to be on guard on base !” you glare at him, yet he doesn’t so much as seem bothered by your features. Instead he approaches you, moving closer as he looks down at you. Your back pressed into the edge of the sink as he leans forward-

The day went by so quickly, you went with the boys to shoot some rounds, finally approved by your friend to hold a rifle to shoot some rounds. Of course, your aim is flawless when holding your favorite rifle It made you feel normalize in your life. After that you decided be best to take a shower as there are so few women on this base, and most the building was set up for men, you’d often wait until late as possible to be able to shower in peace. Taking a change of clothes and a towel you enter the shower room setting your bag down and undressing. Immediately your eyes scan over your naked form, for now you showed no signs. In fact you still looked sleek and fit. Yet you knew the wiser. Glancing at the side of your profile, you immediately felt insecure, the idea your body will change and expand that you’ll put on weight made you shiver. Tearing your eyes from the mirror you step into a shower stall and turn on the water. The gushing of cold hits your hand as you wait for it to warm up, now normally your body could handle such, but now you felt it was too cold to tolerate. Even with your body barely been pregnant long it already seems to be shifting to accommodate this unborn form.

You step under the warmth of the water letting it glide over your body. Its almost cleansing feeling the water graze over your body, as you comb your fingers through your scalp down to the end of your hair length. You began rubbing yourself with your bar of soap and sponge taking your time to clean yourself fully. Once you finished you turn off the water and wringing out your hair before reaching for your towel. The bathroom room was now full of your shower steam as it fogged the mirrors. You stood in front of one of them with your towel wrapped around, leaning closer you use your hand, in a circular motion to clear off the fogged mirror only to see a skull mask looking directly at you.

Ghosts POV

When they heard you over the comms tell them your spot been compromised he felt horrified that they wouldn’t have been able to get back to you on time and would’ve found you dead. Yet instead, they found you losing your stomach. It was all weird. You were if anything the most toughest women he’s met aside from Laswell, and that speaks volume. You were someone he let his guard down with, without regret. He didn’t mind showing you his darkest side, his pain, his reminders, and face. You took him in. You acknowledged him. You were patient with him too which is something he respected about you. You were someone who carried them self with such maturity, purity, and selflessness. And he…stupidly took advantage of that. From that night.

The minute you began to faint, he was immediately lunging to your side and catching you before you hit the ground. Judging by your state, didn’t seem like you were wounded extremely. Maybe some bruising. However, he found it unusual that you were losing your stomach after killing a man. I mean, everyone’s done stuff that made them sick, but he’s seen you calm and collected stabbing a man in the neck when you were lunged at one time during a mission. He always found you resilient so seeing you this sensitive seemed odd. Soap disrupted his thoughts looking down at your passed out form “Oi, Bonnie !” he immediately checked your pulse yet he knew wiser “She ‘s alright Soap. Just fainted from the looks of it.”

He then reaches to his vest still cradling her in his arms as he radios in the help, “Nikolai, bring the helo to RV. Coming in hot, Hera fainted.” He immediately picks you up bridal style, despite wearing a vest and armor you were still light. He nods his head, “Keep up Soap” as he already begins running to the rendezvous. Upon seeing the chopper lower, you began to stir in his arms and mumbles hoarsely “I-Im good. You can put me down Ghost.” He doesn’t even look down at you saying deeply “Didn’t look that way Sargent.” Yet you protest more, which he relents to setting you carefully onto the ground. His hands honestly wanted to linger over you longer but Soap came in supporting you with your arm over his shoulder “Aye ! Glad to have you back Bonnie. Gave us quite a scare !” he shouts over the loud chopper blades as they both walk in sync to load in.

Ghost lingers a good distance scanning their surroundings before getting into the chopper. He sits across from you, his eyes not leaving your frame. You seem distant... Like your mind was elsewhere yet you tried to remain present in the moment. He couldn’t help but try to read you as you made your best attempt to assure everyone you’re fine. But he could see otherwise. The way your eyes fluttered, how you forced a fake smile that seemed to work on others but couldn’t fool him. He also couldn’t help but notice how your hand instinctively went to touch your stomach.

He squinted his eyes, ‘Did you get hit in the stomach ? Is she hurt ? She didn’t seem bothered when I had my hand there carrying her.’ All these thoughts ran through his mind during the whole flight back. Once they finally returned, you of course tried to brush off that you were fine, yet Ghost wasn’t having it. You were off. He could feel it. He simply gave you a stern look and a sharp tone, “No. You’re getting checked up. End of discussion Sargent.” This made you flinch with his tone, but he had no choice. You wouldn’t have listened to reason no matter how much Soap begged or even asked you. However one thing he did admire you for, as a soldier, you always obeyed orders. You made your way to the med base, his eyes never leaving you as he wanted to make sure you actually headed that direction, yet Soap pulled him from his line of sight. “Gee, LT, didn’t have to be all ‘trict on ‘er.” Ghost side glances Soap with a slight brow raise. Then huff. “I don’t care. She needed to be told. She listened. ‘nough said” Taking his leave before Soap could say anything else he needed to get his mind off you.

Now he stands in front of you, with you barely covered before him. This was different. He could see the traces of bruising form on your shoulder. One was peeking just above your cleavage. His eyes took you in as your drenched form stood in front of him shying away from his line of sight as he was so close to you. He’d give anything to feel you again like before especially as you stand here practically exposed to him. Yet, as much as he wanted to give into his temptations... “I ‘ear you been askin’ ‘round for me,” his eyes scan between yours as you seem to gulp at this, obviously indicating it was true. “But now you loss for words ?” you bite the inside of your cheek, obviously he hit a nerve. Cocking a brow as he saw the strength in your eyes that always made him honestly want to give in. You spoke-“I was….there was something I wanted to tell you,” he tilted his head to the side narrowing his eyes a bit then nods “Well what is it ?” He takes a step back from you, his broad arms crossed as he gazes down at you.

He was leaning close to your ear, you were trembling before him, your hands out pressing onto his hoodie chest. His heart rate spiked from under your touch. Your lips said one thing but your body said something else. He watched you that day talk excitedly about seeing your boyfriend. Yet, he finds you a mess with tear stains avoiding everyone. He knew. He bloody fucking knew it. Your boyfriend was everything he hated and would even compare to as his own father. You who fought everyday, gave yourself willingly, everything as an amazing women and girlfriend. Only for that selfish prick to break it. It boiled him. To see you this way, you were their light. To see you so diminished was something he'd tear the world to bring that shine out in you. He leaned close to your ear “Say the word love. I’m here.” Your eyes looked up at him, oh those doe eyes. He would surrender to that sight in a heartbeat.

You were his weakness…

...but he also learned to see you were also his strength. You mouth slowly began to parts your eyes seemed to show a since of strength ‘Fuck…even when broken she stands strong. This women…’ he didn’t waste a minute crashing his lips onto your trembling lips. They were so plump and soft. You tasted salty from your tears, which he sucked away but the lingering taste of cherry from your lips made him want to devour you more. His hand sneaked down still holding under your chin, while the other unlatched from above the doorframe to rest on your hip. Pulling you closer to him, he could feel your hand slowly slide up his bicep to his neck. The sensation feeling of your soft fingers fleeting over it made him more riled. He immediately let go of his hold on your chin and opened the door to your bunker. He guides you in his hand pushing you in at your hips as he almost guides you to your bed in the corner. You stop just in front of the bed, his hands cupping your cheeks and neck kissing you more fiercely. You’re the one to make the first move, during the intense heat, you begin tugging at his belt loop. He can feel it. Yet-

Being practically naked gripping your towel around your dripping body was definitely not how you imagined telling him about being pregnant, however, maybe you can ask something else- “What happened a month ago... do you regret it ?” perhaps getting some kind of answer will bring out the courage to tell him. You watch for any kind of shift in his eyes yet you barely see much. However his eyes does narrow in on you, you wonder if he sees you’re dodging what’s the real reason you’ve been asking around of his absence. Just when your mind was planning to handle whatever response he gives, everything hit you like a bullet into a vest-

Wrong, because less then two days later he was making his way to the Captains office, knocking on it and telling him of his arrival. With the Captain deeply grunting to come in. What he wasn’t expecting was to see the Captain, stressed ? The man looked exhausted like he was fighting a battle of some sort. He looked as if he was atlas holding the world over his shoulder, every muscle tensed and jaw clenched using every ounce of power to keep going. Then when the Captains eyes met his, and the words came out, Ghost world came shattering. “Y/n, has quit the taskforce…” his eyes went wide, he was a man to hide any emotions but this…he wasn’t expecting you to up and leave. Did you even say bye to everyone? Were you crying your eyes out when you decided it ? But the one question that bothered in the back of his mind was; Was it because of HIM ?

He grunts a bit “Was a one time thing.” His eyes unwavering and stoic as if this is such a silly subject to be bringing up as he decided it was best to burn this bridge before his feelings got worse for you. He could not allow this to become more. He promised- now swore he’ll never get attached and he stupidly did. It was obvious for Soap to see, and if that was the case, how many others would notice too ? “It meant nothing Sargent. We both needed an escape. If this is what you wanted to waste my time for than we are done.” ‘Fuckin’ ‘ell, that should do it…’ he thought to himself, yet what he didn’t expect was to see the tears daring to form in your eyes he simply just stood there, your little fists were gripping the towel so tight your knuckles were white and your jaw was clenched. Yet, he didn’t stop there. He should have. “You’re a burden to this team…we don’t need dead weight. If you can’t get better than your no use to this team.” He said it…damages done.

The words hurt him just as much as it seemed to have hurt you. But instead of lashing out, which honestly he would have preferred you do then maybe he would’ve taken back his words. You… just stood there silent. It was worse than a ticking bomb going off. Your eyes were blazing with anger and he can see your tears wanting to crash down yet you suck in a deep breath, he honestly was expecting the worse, and you just went to grab your stuff. You began changing you didn’t even care if he would be watching or not, of course he wouldn’t dare instead was looking at the sinks only daring to listen to you as you shuffle. In matter of minutes you were dressed, holding your bag about to leave, you hand on the handle yet you stop. Looking at him ,‘Fuck…now I’ve done it. Price gonna rem me for it now’ he thought but instead you look at him with that same strength in your eyes “Good night Lieutenant.” It came out sharp he could hear it the slight venom in it but he didn’t so much aa react. He stupidly just stood there side glancing you before you finally took your leave. He then gazes back at the mirror, seeing his reflection he hated what he was seeing in himself but it had to be done. Maybe when you’ve cooled your head he’ll approach you differently. Perhaps these words would encourage you to do better. Perhaps now he won’t distracted by your alluring presence. Right-?

…

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bibibbon · 2 months ago

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Need to get something off my chest

People in the fandom blaming Nana for causing Shigaraki to be abused and all the suffering the Shimura family went through as well as calling her decision to abandon Kotaro stupid is if someone blamed all the abuse and horrible actions of Enji that the Todoroki family had to suffer through on Enji's deceased father.

Specifically people appear to zone in on Nana's call to not have All Might or Gran Torino check in with her family when it makes sense. She knows AFO has eyes and ears everywhere and will use that to kill those closest to her and those around her as we know since Nana's husband is dead by the time Kotaro is given up for adoption and All Might leaves Japan for the US in order to avoid AFO for that same reason. There is also no way for Nana to know that her successor would wind up as the strongest wielder of One For All and would be the first person to take down All For One.

I'm not sure if you were in the mha critical side of tumblr, but this is a very common opinion here. Nana deserved better, and none of the nana hate honestly made sense.

People shouldn't blame nana for doing what she could to protect her child. She explicitly said that she had done it to protect him, and she didn't willingly want to give up her child. The act wasn't done out of malice but was done out of love. Her husband was dead, and all for one was on her tail. She had to train all Might, and there was no safe choice to keep kotaro. It was a hundred times safer to make a distance between her and kotaro so he could live without the burden of his mother's duties on top of him caring or threatening to cause him constant harm.

Nana tried her best as a mother, and we didn't talk enough about it. She, at the beginning, was probably the breadwinner of the family, her job making it so that she had limited time with her son, yet from the flashbacks we see that kotaro loved his mother dearly. He loved her that child him simply cried and cried when she was about to leave, he loved her to the point that he kept her picture acknowledging that she was his mother yet despising that she left him all alone. His hatred of nana stems mainly from feelings of sadness and betrayal, which only exist because he loved his mother and felt safe when she was near.

I suppose we don't talk about the fact that after nana's husband died and she became a widow she had to juggle all the responsibilities of being a weirder of OFA, a mother who had to be constantly active in her child's life and a hero who had to save others while also ensuring that she earned enough money to keep her son comfortable.

I headcanon that at the time nana was never a good cook and that it was her husband that usually cooked for the family but when he died she had to take on the cooking duties which was a struggle but we see her actively trying even including her son in the process.

Giving up kotaro was the most logical circumstance, and I stand by that. I think to a certain extent, kotaro realises that too, and it's exactly why he doesn't blame his mother but blames her job he blames the hero, not his mother. To me, it evidently seems like kotaro separates nana into two different versions : the hero and his mother.

If we follow that belief, it's exactly why the only photo that kotaro has with his mother is so painful. Every time he sees that photo he in a way, is forced to acknowledge that both versions of nana are his mother. The photo shows his mother, but it shows her in her hero attire she is the 7th weirder of ofa in that picture not his mother but the mannerisms, the way she smiles and looks at him is that of a mother's look.

A haunting picture for kotaro. A picture of a mother's love.

Comparisons between enji and nana fall on deaf ears especially when you look at the circumstances and situations that both characters are faced with.

Enji DOESN'T love his children, his actions were out of malice, greed and desire to be great. He sacrificed family for greatness.

Nana LOVED her child. Her actions had a desire to protect, love, and care for her only family, her only offspring. A beautiful light in the world that she doesn't want destroyed by AFO. She had no choosing as I bet if she truly had the choice. She would do anything to love, protect, and be with her child. In a dreadful situation, nana chose the only way to guarantee kotaros safety.

#mha #bnha #mha critical #bnha critical #thanks for the ask #horikoshi critical #thanks for the ask!#bhna critical #thanks anon #thanks anon!#nana #nana deserves better #nana get behind me i will protect you #they can never make me hate you nana #nana shimura #anti enji #anti endeavour #anti enji todoroki

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fastboatsmojito · 2 months ago

Note

could you do number 2 off the smut prompt list with Tyler owens pretty please ? 💜

🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

2 - hate fucking from this smutty prompt list for my 100 followers party !

| a/n; my first mean-ish tyler blurb, thank u anon 🫶🏼

| cw; 18+ smut btc Tyler’s kinda mean hence the note, PnV do I have to say it - no condom mention, plot then porn then plot then porn again !

| wc; 411

Dividers by @strangergraphics

The truck, the hat, the accent. The perfect image of a cowboy, annoyingly polite even. It’d be a lot easier to hate him without the last bit but you seemed to manage just fine.

☾⋆⁺₊⋆

“I really do fucking hate you.”

“‘s that right? That why you’re fallin’ apart on my dick, sweetheart?” He was cocky but he was right, the smoothest condescension you’d ever heard low in your ear as he held your head close to him.

☾⋆⁺₊⋆

You were trying to keep it to yourself - the intrigue, the hint of hesitation, the drop of sweat beading down your face. Your bitter tone hid it well; the curiosity under the abhorrence, but you knew it was there. He might’ve been horribly frustrating to be around for more than just his ability to piss you off, the cowboy shtick was annoying but it wasn’t unattractive.

Though the undesirable attraction was becoming more of a nuisance than tyler himself, you still tried to keep your distance. Sighing whenever you’d see that notorious truck drive up past you, scoffing at the grin even while he was turned away from you. Scolding yourself for thinking about what it’d be like under him, on top of him, in his truck …etc.

You could yell at him all day, point your finger at him and tell him about how stupid and careless he was being, and get even more pissed off when he subsequently finds it amusing.

☾⋆⁺₊⋆

Curiosity, attraction, hatred, whatever the fuck you were feeling - probably closer to a combination of each of them - you found yourself sweaty and lying on his bed, still trying to argue with him all while your nails scratched into the sides of his arms, keeping him as close as possible.

“That’s right baby, I knew that little prissy attitude shit was just a cover.” He was breathing quick, practically panting over you while you mumbled all about being better than him.

“You’re the worst- you can’t even do your job right, safety should be-“ You continued your rant through his rough thrusts into you, keeping your eyes shut when your thighs squeezed around his hips tighter.

“I know, I know, you hate me.” He cut you off by cupping your mouth with his hand, you would’ve bitten his hand if your mouth wasn’t stuck open, suddenly aware and grateful for the thin line of drool dripping out of your mouth.

“Now why don’t you shut up and let me take care’a this attitude of yours.”

☾⋆⁺₊⋆

#one day I will talk about the importance of safe sex in my works but today is not that day sorry #probably no time soon either actually #no condoms in my fiction we die like men #🌑 blurbs #🌑 100 party !!! 🎉#tyler owens #tyler owens my beloved #tyler owens smut #tyler owens x reader

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deepperplexity · 10 days ago

Text

Prompt 19: A Helping Hand [OS]

Pairing: Snape x Fem!Reader

POV: Second, Reader

Setting: Snape Lives AU, set 19th of December 1999 roughly a month after Snape’s return home from the hospital and you have been in love with him for years, sending letters and gifts in secret.

A/N: I feel like we need one more Snape fic this year, don’t you? 🥰 Well, you better bloody well enjoy it ‘cus I damn near keeled over writing this long thing in one sitting - remind me why I keep doing this to myself? I’m short on time, tomorrow the Christmas celebrations start and go all the way until the 25th over here and I’ve been running myself ragged between my two jobs, sorting the house, writing for Rickmas and generally being a wife, a mom, and a human - with all the work that entails in and of itself 😂

Also, don’t be fooled by how sweetly this fic starts 👀

Tags/TW’s: Secret Pining, Teenage Crush Turned Love In Adulthood, Fear, Shortly Mentions [horrible nightmares / fear for another’s safety / violence / blood / slight gore / painful past / terrible history / the war / the dark lord / wanting to die / hospital stay / scars], Shame, Guilt, Going Into Hiding, Embarrassment, Sadness, Mind Reading (Legilimens), Confessions

Abbr.: Y/N - Your Name | Y/L/N - your Last Name

Word Count: 4.2k

LINKTREE // AO3 // MASTERLIST

A Helping Hand

This is fantastic, what the bloody hell was I thinking?! The black door with chipped paint loomed before you. It was an ordinary door, of regular height and width, yet it was so large and utterly imposing. I shouldn’t be here, why am I here? It’s not like he’s going to open the door and go ‘oh a Christmas star, how wonderful, come in, come in’, like, no… You adjusted your hold of the red flower in a too-small pot with a green satin ribbon tied at the top of it.

You shivered in the cold wind and your boots had turned slightly soggy with melted snow. They weren’t the best shoes for walking in snow but they were the finest pairs you had and matched perfectly with your dress and cloak of deep green with silver details.

“Oh, for Merlin’s sake, just knock, you idiot!” you hissed at yourself before drawing a steadying breath, reaching your hand up, and knocking far too lightly. It was more of a tapping than a knocking, really. But your hand was already clamped around the pot once more as your heart raced and pixies seemed to have a party in your stomach.

You sighed. This is stupid, he’s not going to open… It wasn’t your first attempt at contacting your previous professor. It had been a few years since you graduated, he might not even remember you despite the letters and gifts you had sent him through the years. The last two years you hadn’t dared to do so though. The world had gone too dark and the rumours of the man’s place as Voldemort’s number one follower hadn’t gone unnoticed.

One more time, you told yourself before reaching up to knock again. This time, a little harder even if it still sounded timid. You held onto the pot in a cramp-like manner as you waited with your heart in your throat and the growing party of pixies in your stomach turning into a rave.

The lock clicked. Then a chain rattled. Your eyes widened as you watched the handle turn and air seemed to evade you as the door slowly creaked open. There he was. Black hair, pale skin, frock and all — just how you remembered him. Almost.

He arched a brow, opening the door further as he found you standing one step down. His eyes went up and down, from your shoes to the Christmas Star flower and then to your face. “Miss Y/l/n?” he drawled, his voice more hoarse than you could remember. “P-professor,” you stammered, suddenly having no idea what to do now that he actually opened the door. “Not anymore,” he said harshly, but his tone wasn’t quite angry or the like. “What can I do for you, Miss Y/l/n?” he continued, his voice clipped and low.

You blinked. “Um, here—” you held out the flower, nearly shoving it into his arms “—it’s a Christmas Star, erh, flower for you,” you continued, feeling mortified as heat crept under your skin. “I can see what it is,” he drawled, looking from the flower to you with eyes betraying none of what he was thinking or feeling. “Why am I receiving it?” he continued. “I— Well, I thought I’d— You see, I— Um, well, yes, that’s a good question,” you rambled, turning warmer in your heavy cloak by the second. “Um, Merry Christmas,” you finally managed to force out while wishing the stone steps below would swallow you whole.

You hadn’t thought it would go like this, you hadn’t thought you’d lose any semblance of speech and thought by just seeing the man again. But, as usual, your teenage habit around the intimidatingly gorgeous man had you tongue-tied and unable to coherently say or think anything.

He was still gorgeous. More ravaged by harsh times, more distant than ever, and less fearsome yet more intimidating with the lack of feelings coming from him. Get yourself together! “Another gift,” he drawled, looking at the flower while he held the bottom of the pot in just one hand. “You have sent me quite a few.” You spluttered, dying of embarrassment it felt like. “I— Well, yes, I did… I’m sorry. Sorry, Professor, I shouldn’t have— and I shouldn’t have come now, you never opened before so I didn’t think you’d— No matter, I’ll leave. Um, Merry Christmas,” you rambled. “Yes, you said that already, miss.” “Oh, right, yes, right, I did. Sorry,” you whispered while burning up from the rushing of your pulse and the searing heat of embarrassment.

You turned to leave, rushing down the stairs without another word. “It’s slippery at the— Careful!” he shouted in a hoarse manner that could barely be classified as more than a murmur in the lone tone. But, it was too late. You flung your arms out, your feet sliding out from under you as you fell helplessly backwards. A crash resonated through the air and with barely a millisecond to spare you levitated in mid-air with your hair gracing the snow below.

You panted and heaved, completely still in the charm he had cast over you with no time to spare. The stone beneath could have cracked your skull, so adrenaline kept rushing through your body even though the danger was over. “T-Thank you,” you said in a stuttering exhale as he straightened you up. As soon as your feet hit the ground and his charm released you you shivered and drew in a deep breath to calm yourself.

“As accident-prone as I remember,” he murmured behind you. “Do you never learn, Y/n?” You turned, only to find him standing in the fully open doorway with the shattered pot and snapped flower at his feet. “Your gift,” you whispered, feeling your lips turn down in a saddened frown. “It took ages to grow that thing and make the pot,” you sighed to yourself. “You grew it?” he asked, making you look up from the mess. “Well, yes, I can’t give you store-bought flowers.” “Why?” he asked, making you scrunch your brows. “Why would anyone do such a thing?” “What do you mean? You saved the world, you must have gotten all kinds of flowers and gifts. I wanted mine to… be something else,” you admitted while looking at the snapped stem and scattered red petals. Your heart ached at the sight, all those months of work and magic you’d poured into it — gone.

Snape aimed his wand at the mess, not a word uttered but his brows scrunched. You sighed. “It can’t be mended…” He looked at you. “Magic?” You shook your head. “No, it can’t be fixed with magic… I grew it in… It doesn’t matter,” you whispered, brushing down your cloak to have something to do with your errant hands that wished to scoop up the broken pieces of your love at his feet. No amount of wand waving would be able to mend either flower or pot — they were impervious to any and all magic.

Snape looked at you, tilting his head ever so slightly before he waved his wand and the broken pieces flitted up into a levitating ball. “Come in,” he said and you damn near lost the capability to breathe. “W-What? Come-, come in? Into your home?” you asked, your voice nearly rude. He looked at you while standing half-turned in the doorway. “Or do not,” he simply stated before you lurched into action. “Slippery,” he reminded harshly and you slowed your climb up the stairs. Your heart and mind had no intention of slowing down though.

The door closed behind you and the gloom of a narrow hallway took over. The scent of him was overwhelming. Your mouth popped open at his back as he moved away from you, towards a door at the end leading to what appeared to be a shabby kitchen in a dull green with chequered flooring.

You scrambled out of your coat, in the gloom your dress glittered like a star-strewn sky and the silvery buckle of your waist-belt shimmered. I can do this, I can absolutely do this, this is what I wanted. Yet your hands shook and your entire body felt strung tightly as you used magic to dry your boots and the hem of your dress. You weren’t about to drag in slush and gravel into the man’s house.

With careful steps, you moved toward the open door where Snape stood by a small table only large enough to seat two people. The kitchen was gloomy as well, and it hadn’t escaped your notice that there were no decorations or hints of Christmas in the house. The man himself stood leant over the remnants of your shattered gift as you stepped up.

“Just throw it out,” you said quietly, despite how it hurt. “It’s rubbish—” “Don’t,” he snarled in that hoarse voice while throwing a harsh glare at you. “It is not rubbish.” You blinked. “Professor, it’s broken. Can’t be mended.” “It’s not Professor anymore,” he muttered. “Then, what do I call you?” He glanced at you, something swept over his features before his shoulders stiffened. “Severus, if you wish. Mr Snape if that is more to your liking.” “Your— I can call you… Severus?” you asked, stunned and floored and bewildered and, well, everything at the same time.

He didn’t reply. You both looked at the broken pot and flower in silence. All the months of work you’d put into it, gone. The endless hours you’d spent teaching yourself to do pottery by hand and the countless failed attempts — it had all been a waste. But, I knew it would be… Even if it hadn’t shattered it wouldn’t have mattered anyway. This was just selfish of me, my own need to tell him I... You couldn’t finish the thought, too many horrid memories crept up just thinking about it. All the tears, the ache in your heart and fear in your gut as times had grown dark years ago.

Severus straightened. “You stopped sending letters,” he said but kept his eyes on the mess atop the table. You looked up at his profile. “Well, yes… I…” You drew a steadying breath, readying yourself to be honest. “I got scared… I knew of your place beside Voldemort, and I suspected your place beside Dumbledore… I couldn’t imagine you ever truly being on the wrong side… But, they took family members, friends, people who—” People who mattered to others… And even if I know I don’t matter to you, they wouldn’t have known that given the letters and gifts…

“So, you read them..?” You almost didn’t want to hear the answer — either way, it would feel weird. He nodded, his hair falling forward. “Many times. You did not sign a single one until the very last, why?” You released a deep breath. “I… I never have and never will think I’m worthy of someone like you.” His eyes widened and he was about to speak but you rushed on. “Don’t worry, I’m not hurt by it. I understand,” you said with a dejected chuckle. “I’m just me, and I was your student, you know I’m nothing special, just average.” “That was many years ago, I only taught your last two years,” he said. The depth of his voice and its new raggedness had a shiver crawl down your spine.

You looked up at him, your arms crossed over your chest in a self-hug and your lips in a small smile both sad and soft in its nature. “Yes, quite, and from that time to now you’ve saved the world, protected children and adults, offered all of yourself with only loss of years to show for it I guess.” “Your point?” he drawled, a deeper darkness to his tone. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to bring that up, it must be painful for you.” This is going bloody well, absolutely fantastic, can I be more of a damn idiot?

He crossed his arms over his chest, too. Yet, in a harsher manner. “Your point,” he demanded and you instantly felt as if you were being scolded by your professor, a fantasy you were far too shy to ever admit to having had several times during your more lonely nights. “I have nothing, sir,” you whispered. “I’m nothing compared to you. I went into hiding, I didn’t even fight like so many did…” “You wrote of your fear,” he drawled and your shoulders drew upwards, toward your ears in shame. “You stayed alive. More people did that than those who fought against the Dark Lord in battle.” “I hid, I ran away to the north and… I was of no help,” you admitted with a forced smile to hide the shame within your heart.

He glared at you, but it didn’t feel like a glare out of anger. It still had you tensing even more though. How on earth you’d managed to get into such a deep conversation with the man of your dreams — and nightmares — you weren’t sure but you barely dared to breathe for fear of being kicked out of his home.

“War is a terrible thing,” he said quietly. “Many fought. Many lost their lives and loved ones, but more still fled or hid. Staying alive, there is no shame to it, Y/n. No shame.” His words were harsh, unyielding and said in a manner that had you believe he might be speaking equally for your and his benefit. He was still alive, too. “Yeah, maybe…” “No. You should not be ashamed for staying alive.” “One day, maybe I won’t be,” you admitted while a heaviness seemed to blanket the room.

Severus glanced from you to the broken pot and flower once more. “Perhaps a helping hand is all we need when times are the hardest,” he said in no more than a whisper. “Your letters… they were, important to me.” You gulped down a lump that had formed in your throat. “They were..?” “Yes.” He seemed to soften next to you. “I feared you had died, when it all stopped… Seeing your name in the last letter, I cannot tell you how it affected me when I realised no more would come.”

I affect him? You weren’t sure what to say to that. You hadn’t ever imagined that you meant anything to the brave man, yet here he stood and said the opposite. But perhaps it was more of a comfort thing, a friendship thing. You shivered, your shoulders shaking. It wasn’t any help that the house was quite chilly.

“Come,” he said, turning and leaving the kitchen before you had barely reacted. You stumbled after him with a final glance at the shattered love left on his little kitchen table. He led you into a sitting room while your mind kept spinning with questions of what he thought of you, what he felt, how much he had cared when he thought you had died. Don’t go there. You had imagined far too many times that he had met a slow, painful death. Far too many nightmares had forced you awake with a scream as his death and torture were featured within your own mind.

“Sit,” he said before flicking his wand to light the fireplace. “I shall bring some tea.” A wave of warmth washed over the room and the golden light of the flames had shadows dancing all around. “Tea? Oh, thank you,” you said in a shocked rush as you sat yourself down on the two-seat sofa. He disappeared out the doorway and you were left looking around the room with the growing memories of all the nights and days you had been a complete mess, absolutely in shambles, over the man whose house you were now in.

Your eyes zeroed in on the fire as you squeezed your own biceps. He was different from how you remembered him, both in a good and bad way. Despite the harrowing life he had led, he was still the most beautiful man you had ever laid eyes upon, and despite the slight hint of a scar that shouldn’t be there at all at the very top of his throat and the hoarse voice, you found him perfect. He was darker, he was harsher and more reserved in his behaviour but he talked with you and there was something about him that hadn’t changed at all.

You squeezed your biceps again, the memories coming unfiltered of all those times you had cried yourself to sleep or woken up screaming in horror. Your head swam with images of a bloody Severus, of broken limbs and a twisted neck. Gurgling breaths and wheezing noises. You barely held onto reality and the roaring fire attempting to warm you. Being in his house, and seeing him again after all these years, kicked everything to the forefront and you couldn’t get a handle on your emotions or mind.

You drew a stuttering breath, closing your eyes to try and banish the horrors of the past as they multiplied — both false nightmares and memories of re-tellings in the news of Severus’s heroic actions that had only led him to experience pain and suffering for Merlin knew how long. Get it together, get it together, you told yourself over and over as you drowned in the raging flood released by the very realisation that it was all over — that he was safe. Out of reach, but safe and alive.

You jolted up from the sofa at the sound of porcelain breaking and scattering. “Severus?” you called out, your voice shrill and your heart in an uproar. “Severus?” you called again before rushing toward the kitchen, in the direction of the noise. But you stopped short in the hallway where he stood with open hands and a mess of broken teacups and steaming water at his feet.

He looked at you with ghastly pale skin and slightly heaving breaths. “Are— Severus, are you okay? What happened?” you asked while walking up toward him, your pain and fears from the past forgotten for a moment at the sight of him. “What… was that?” he asked in a dark whisper. “What was what?” you asked, spinning around to look down the hallway, was there something in the house? No, you couldn’t see anything. “There’s nothing there.”

You turned back toward Severus, his eyes eerily fixated on you. Then you felt it. A prodding sensation and a presence in your mind that wasn’t supposed to be there. “What are you—” Your temples strained and your hand flew up to your forehead. “That,” he snarled as you saw flickers of so many horrid memories revolving around him flash in your head as he scoured through it all. You couldn't push him out, his skill was too great. “S-stop,” you pleaded. “That’s private,” you continued while looking away from him.

Embarrassment, shame, hurt, it all filled your chest as he retreated from your mind and left a palpable void where he had been a second ago. “T-That’s private,” you whispered, holding back tears as your back curved under the weight of your shame. Severus had gone through literal hell for years on end where your imagination had only brushed the surface — yet it was more than you could handle and he had had to live through it all, and possibly far worse things than you could imagine. Your fear and anguish was false, and in the presence of true bravery and strength, you wished to vanish and never come out of hiding ever again.

“You cried, for me?” he asked, so quietly you could barely hear it. “Please, I’m ashamed enough as it is…” you whispered while turning your back on him to wipe away the tears refusing to stop now that they had begun to spill over. “Ashamed,” he said as if tasting the word for the first time. You tensed. “I’m sorry, I— I shouldn’t have come to see you,” you whispered while snivelling as quietly as you could. “I’m sorry,” you forced out before bolting toward the door with a suffocated cry, grabbing your cloak in passing before gripping the door’s handle and tugging.

It didn’t budge. You tugged again, twisting one way and then the other but it wouldn’t open. Let me out, please, please let me out. You couldn’t stand the shame, the fear, the unwanted longing you were filled with for the man behind you. Through all the pain, the fear, through everything, all you had wanted was to hold him tight and make sure he was safe. It was selfish, it was ridiculous, it was unrequited and a lost cause.

You snivelled and spluttered a cry. “Please, let me out,” you whimpered while tugging on the door again. “I can’t do this,” you cried quietly. But two large hands atop your shoulder had you gasping a breath as you were spun around in a rush, your back pushed against the unyielding door with strength you stood no chance against.

“You cried for me,” he whispered. You couldn’t look him in the eye. “I’m sorry.” A gusted breath fanned your face as he snarled. “No. You cannot be sorry for that,” he said with finality. “Do not apologise for caring enough to shed tears for an unwanted man.”

You glanced up through the tears, the view of him hazy despite how close his face was to yours. “I’m sorry,” you said again. “I’m so sorry.” “Don’t.” “I was useless,” you cried quietly. All the shame, the guilt, the pain welled up further. “Useless…” You snivelled and gripped your dress so harshly you could feel your nails through the fabric. His hands hardened around your trembling shoulders. “You cried for me,” he repeated — as if he was as stuck in his mind as you were.

You had no time to react before he sank before you, his knees thudding to the floor ominously as his hands slipped down your arms only to hold on to your wrists. “I thought you were dead,” he murmured with his face tilted toward the floor. “The letters, the gifts… I thought I had lost my chance,” he continued while his hands hardened to the point of pain around your wrists. But you felt him tremble, heard his voice waver, felt the coldness of sadness seep from him and into you.

“What chance?” you asked, barely able to breathe when he tilted his head back only to view you with tear-lined eyes. The onyx colour appeared black in the gloom. “To tell you…” “T-Tell me? W-What?” you managed to force out between snivelling breaths and clogging cries. “You matter to me. You… are important, to… me,” he said darkly and forcibly through gritted teeth as his hands clamped around your wrists and a bewildered look filled his eyes while the rest of him remained utterly harsh. “But I can’t be,” you whispered. “I did nothing.” “You saved me,” he snarled.

Your breath hitched as he tugged on your wrists, forcing you down on your knees before him. His hands gripped your shoulders anew, steadying you before you would have fallen face-first into his chest. “Your words saved me, your gestures, you have no idea what you did for me,” he ground out. “Do not think, for a second, you are useless, Y/n. If it weren’t for you… I am the one who should feel shame.” “What? No! You saved the world!” He glared at you. “Only barely.” “That doesn’t matter. You did it.” “Because of you. I could not… I could not fail when I thought you had died because of what the Dark Lord persisted for.” He was so calm in the next second. As if, somehow, he found control again while you spiralled and kept snivelling and whimpering cries.

Your body sagged under the weight of his words. “But, I am nothing to the world—” “You are important to me,” he interrupted. “And until you sent that card to St. Mungos, I had believed you dead — as I had wished to be.” “Severus, no, no,” you cried, instinctively reaching up to grasp at his chest. He allowed the touch, reaching around to pull you closer. “You saved the world, and then you saved me. All you had to do was stay alive, and you did. Nobody has a right to ask for anything more than that, yet, I will…”

You leaned back, a snivelling and trembling mess before him. He reached up and wiped your cheeks with the back of his chilly fingers even if the tears just kept on coming. “Let me know you, Y/n.” You held his gaze. “You know me better than anyone, what I told you in those letters are things I haven’t told anyone…” His eyes widened, his fingers tensed and then he pulled you closer by your waist. “Stay,” he said.

You buried your face in his chest, beyond emotional and out of control. You trembled and shook, your brain misfired and had you scrambling for the connection with your voice to speak the only word you wished. Instead, you cried into his chest and grasped at his clothes with clawing strength. He held you closer, his embrace firm and warm. “Stay. Gift me what I thought I had lost forever…” “A-and, w-what, is that..?” you said between snivels and rushed breaths. “You… A chance to be with the woman who saved the world through me…” It was too much, yet you managed to find your voice. “Never let go,” you whispered. “Never.”

LINKTREE // AO3 // MASTERLIST

A/N: Well, this made me emotional.

TAGLIST: @lizlil @snapefiction @darkthought15 @monstreviolet @flowerdementia @marvelschriss @once-upon-an-imagine @ravennight41 @caseydoodles98 @slytherinprincess03 @theconsultingdetectiveswife @grimmyhild @monster-energies @myobscureimaginarium @snowblossomreads @eternal-silvertongued-prince @cherryglossie @setsuna-meiou31 @helena211 @a-queen-and-her-throne @justsaturn0 @turvi @dontwanttobeanamercanidiot @sunnylikesfrogs @dianilaws @snapesno1thighrider @sassanoe @snapesrn @bernadette-peters12 @sammy-13 @smartowl999 @castleofthorns @serenanight87 @leah1243 @cherihan @poetry-and-tea @evans23 @mamawolfsmith87 @snapesrn @severussimp @slyckman @liv2post @clawsthecactus @goldenglowwoman @morphineisouthoney @meteoritewolf69 @bionic-otp @elizabeth-baelish @romanceandsarcasm @severuslovebot @glowstar826 @rickmandowneyjr @yellowbadgermole @snapesangel @a-queen-and-her-throne @impulse-anchor @commodoreseverus @writewithmarites @alisongurl13 @yan-senna @writewithmarites @reinekefoxart @nixislight @lokisbjchnl @lght-n-drk @ladykardasi @lyrixsnape @sunset90 @meliasnape @B3lls @canihelpyou201 @ankhmutes @lessdepressy @theheartwants-what-itwants @sanji-simp @snapesrn @thatlittlefangirl @ankhmutes @lessdepressy @snapesrn @theheartwants-what-itwants @slyckman @daddythanatos

Want to be tagged? You can tag yourself HERE! Or tell me and I’ll gladly tag you!

#rickmas2024 #rickmas #alan rickman #rickmaniac #fanfiction #christmas fic #severus snape #snape lives #snape lives au #snape x reader #snape x fem!reader

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kirarisoul · 7 months ago

Text

my ‘boyfriend’

quackity x reader

summary: you think your father will disapprove of your boyfriend, alex. so, he comes up with a plan.

i was thinking of 2019/18 alex while writing this! enjoy 😙

///

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE DOESN’T LIKE ME?!” is screamed through the phone by your boyfriend, making you pull it away from your ear, to prevent yourself from losing hearing.

“I don’t know.. he just.. isn’t.. fond of you?”

“but why? i’m so cute and handsome and sexy!”

“I think it’d be weirder if my dad thought you were sexy, babe.”

you hear him huff into the other side of the phone and know that’s your cue to comfort him.

“he’ll come around eventually, alex! he’s not gonna stop me from seeing you!”

“i know, i know, but.. how did he even form this horrible preconception of me?” he says, dramatically. you can practically see him with his hand over his heart in mock despair.

“well, i thought i’d ease him into it, and i put a stream of yours on the tv, it was that one, where you looked all cute with your little hat and thanos toy an-“

“yeah, yeah, i know what one you’re talking about.” you can hear the happy smile in his voice from your description of him.

“anyways, he didn’t have very good feelings towards you. he said you were loud and that streaming isn’t a proper job.. i didn’t even tell him i knew you yet.” you sigh into the phone.

“it is a job!? tell him i’m gonna go to law school as well!”

“i did tell him! he just.. couldn’t look past the streaming i guess. and he still doesn’t know we’re dating.”

“then tell him! you can’t hide me forever, baby.” he says smugly.

“yeah i will but.. he wants you to come for dinner. tonight. and if he sees it’s you i dunno what he’ll do! he has a temper, y’know.”

“hm.. wait.. i have an idea..” he says.

“what?”

///

“so, you’re my daughters boyfriend?” your dad asks one of the two boys waiting outside the door of your house, looming over them.

“y-yes sir..” the boy next to alex says.

“and you are?” your dad turns to alex.

“his friend.” alex smiles.

“alright.. why are you here?”

“..moral support?” alex says, pulling on his sleeves nervously.

a pause.

“oh, come in, come in, boys!” your mom says from behind your father.

///

the silence at the dinner table is deafening. it’s your father at the head of the table, your mother on his left, and your ‘boyfriend’ on his right. next to your ‘boyfriend’ is alex, your boyfriend.

you lean in.

“this is your plan?” you whisper yell into alex’s ear.

“babe, trust me, it’ll work.”

“who the fuck is that?!”

“it’s my friend, lucas. he’s interning at a hospital, and he’s top of the class in every subject, your dad’ll love him.”

“okay, he’s not my boyfriend though! you are! he’s gonna find out soon enough.”

“just relax. i just wanna see how your dad really is before i show who i really am!”

“you’re gonna reveal yourself at this dinner? are you crazy? he’ll hate you even more!”

“it’s okay! it’ll go good, im charming, he’ll come around eventually.”

a kick from under the table shakes it, making the water in the jug ripple.

“ow!” alex whispers.

“you’re stupid. this is stupid.”

“hey i-!”

as everyone on the table watches silently at this whisper argument, your mom speaks up.

“let’s eat, shall we?” she says with a smile and your father uncrosses his arms and picks up his fork.

“so,” your father starts. “what’s your name?” he says to who he thinks is your boyfriend.

“lucas. sir. it’s lucas.”

“okay, lucas, do you have a job for the summer?”

“i-i have an internship. sir. in a hospital. the lab. in the hospital.” he says, in short sentences as if he’s trying to convince himself about the internship as well.

“okay.. and how are your grades?”

“good. sir.”

“alright. what are your future plans. how will you support my daughter? not that i expect this to last.”

“dad!” you slam your fork down.

“i-i wanna be a doctor. sir.” lucas says, his voice shaking.

“a doctor, that’s amazing!” your mom exclaims, sensing lucas’ nervousness.

lucas nods and smiles.

“you know, she was showing me this guy, around your age, that streams and makes videos online. i would never let my daughter date someone like that, with no future plans.” your dad laughs.

alex plays with his food.

you grip your fork.

///

dinner goes on in a tension so thick you could pick up your knife and cut a hole in it.

you speak up. “babe, can you pass me the salt?”

two hands reach for the salt shaker. lucas freezes and alex, oblivious, passes you the salt and goes back to eating. you father puts his glass down.

“what was that.” your father waves his hand around to gesture to the scene that just unfolded in front of him.

“dad i-“

alex looks up slowly as he realises his mistake.

“alex is my boyfriend!” you blurt out. “not lucas. the guy i showed you online is alex. he makes videos and streams but he’s really smart! and h-“

your dad laughs, “who-whose idea was that?!” he says in between breaths.

“why are you laughing dad?! this is serious!!” you yell.

then lucas laughs, then your mom laughs, and finally, alex starts laughing.

“why are you guys laughing? stop laughing!” you stand up and your chair screeches.

alex grabs your hand. “babe- babe! sit down!” he takes a breathe in between laughs. “it’s fine!”

you cross your arms as everyone laughs die down.

“honey, it’s okay. if you love him, i think that’s all that matters.” your mom says.

you look at your mom and nod, “dad?”

“if you love him and he loves you. i don’t see a problem.” you dad says, smiling at you and then looking at alex.

“so you’re the boyfriend?” your dad says to alex, and leans forward, ready to do his interrogations all over again.

///

#qsmp x reader #quackity #quackity angst #quackity fic #quackity fluff #quackity x reader #quackity x reader angst #quackity x y/n #quackity x you #quackity imagine #quackity imagines #qsmp #alexis quackity #alex quackity #alex quackity x reader #alexis quackity x reader

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quibbs126 · 5 months ago

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could you do a blackberry x adventurer fankid if you havent already pretty please :3

I can’t really say that I made this because of the aforementioned “I haven’t drawn anything in a while” post, it’s just because I was scrolling through my requests and remembered that I was in the middle of drawing her before and thought “might as well finish”

Anyways sorry, this is Blackberry Scone Cookie

So if I’m being perfectly honest, I don’t entirely know what her deal is. I know that, unlike her father, she is very willing to acknowledge that she’s rich and uphold that side of her family. She’s also at least outwardly, very similar to her mother in being generally reserved in her emotions. I think one idea I had for her is that she does cool things, she just does with a disinterested face, which kind of just heightens the coolness

Okay so I’m gonna be completely honest, I am now going to just make something up as I write. That top part was in part for me to figure something out

Outwardly, she seems disinterested, but she has plenty of emotions, you just either need to pay attention to her actual words instead of tone, or you just need to get close enough to her for the mask to fall. She also has quite an interest in stories of magic and in mystical artifacts, though she prefers simply reading about them over going out to find them. Also, despite her interest in the subject, she just doesn’t have that much of an ability for magic/the occult, and has difficulty seeing ghosts (best she has is that she can sometimes see Onion), which is one of the reasons she sticks to simply reading about them rather than going out herself

While she has respect for her father in how he goes out on his own to seek out treasure and artifacts, she just doesn’t understand why he hates his rich life. Her only real guess is that he sees it as clashing with his adventurer persona, which she thinks is kind of stupid. She’s also pretty much the one running the estate while he’s gone (she’s an adult by this point) and being the one to actually deal with things such as house guests. Not to say Adventurer was an absent parent, and he’d actually take her along when she was younger on some of his expeditions, but he can disappear sometimes now

She doesn’t hate her parents, and it’s not like they were horrible parents to her, but she feels distant from her mother due to her lack of ghost abilities, and some amount of resentment for her father for being so attached to this persona of his and his disdain for his actual heritage, especially since she’s fully accepting of it and it unintentionally makes her self conscious about it

She’s not super sure of her place in the world, but for now she’s just trying to do her job as a member of a rich family

Hm, so I ended up writing more on her than I thought I would. Ah well, not a bad thing. Well, design time

So her name’s Blackberry Scone due to me headcanoning Adventurer to be some sort of shortbread or biscuit (I know they’re the same thing in other countries, but I’m unsure as to what kind of biscuit he is now). Scones are kind of like biscuits, add some blackberry and there you go, blackberry scones

A potential name was Blackberry Cobbler, but I think I prefer scone, especially since I made her more rich-seeming

Blackberry scone:

So almost everything I made of her, outside of the small sketches and some of the colors, I made a couple weeks ago while waiting at the dentist’s office, and I mostly blocked her out of my mind after that as a result. So I don’t really remember a lot of the design process

I feel like I gave her that hairstyle to make her look “cool”, but then I kind of threw that aspect of her character away. But I still like it, so she keeps it

Also, her suit was originally a bit more reddish, but I changed it today to make it more purple so it’d fit with the color of the scones. They don’t really look that red, so I changed it. But I think now the colors may not all look the best together

I feel like I may have made her colors all a bit too similar to each other, and/or not given her enough, but I don’t really know what else to change

Also when I came back today, the thickness of the lines was bothering me. Maybe it’s because I’ve been dabbling with the Syrup brush now, but I think I need to play with line width more now, since some of the smaller things like the brooch feel like they have too thick of lines

I don’t think her design is necessarily bad though, it’s mostly color wise I have issues with

And yeah, that’s Blackberry Scone, I hope you enjoy her

#I’m kind of bored so I don’t know what to do now #maybe I’ll draw another but I’m not sure #or finally get around to writing Mochi’s description and giving him a character #who knows #cookie run #cookie run kingdom #cookie run ovenbreak #blackberry cookie #adventurer cookie #adventureberry #that’s their ship name right?#cookie run oc #fankid #fanchild #blackberry scone cookie #my OCs #my art #requests #answers

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judasgot-it · 5 months ago

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Happy Birthday

I'm throwing almonds at him in my mind <3 Also, idgaf if it's not August 3rd, it's August 3rd somewhere in the world....

Also, this was going to be part of an arranged marriage au but I've kinda scrapped it. so this is just kinda there now lol.

It's been twenty-seven years since Kaldo was born. Today, you were planning on making him a cake he would actually enjoy, and not one he would shovel into his face in front of his family and guests as he pretended to enjoy it.

The man was born powerful and wealthy. He had everything.

What he didn't have, was the free choice over his own birthday cake.

He was almost thirty, and he never even had a choice in it. He didn't even have a choice in being engaged to you, or his job - honestly, the only thing he seemed to have a choice over might have been his strange love of honey.

Maybe you were born lucky with your low status. You had chosen to climb to the top, and got to marry a wealthy man mostly by choice.

Now you got to spoil him with a birthday cake - by your own choice.

He had once mentioned once to you before, offhandedly, that he had really loved gelatinous fish cake - of course, topped with honey. One of the stranger combinations he had made, and one cake that he had always wanted to try again, but was banned from bringing into his family home.

For good reason, you supposed. It seemed a little...gross. Honestly, it was one of the first times you had ever disliked one of his strange food tastes.

But it was a cake. And it was his birthday.

He would get to eat that damn cake. Social rules be damned.

It wasn't really easy finding a place that even made the cake. The man must have visited hell itself in order to try the delicacy, because you had only found one cook in the local area who even knew what it was.

It frankly looked disgusting when you laid eyes on it, and it looked horrible as it sat on your breakfast table. But it wasn't for you - it was for the man sitting in front of you, staring at you as if you were as strange as the cake itself.

And really, is it even a cake? There's no frosting, and it's fucking fish for god's sake. In gelatin. Who would even think of such a thing?

"Is this for me?"

Kaldo's voice was weak, his usual airy tone nearly lost in the shock that was slapped across his face. His crimson eyes were boring holes at you, and it was frankly a little disturbing.

"...Yes. You said you had liked it before, and I thought it would be nice to get it for you. I know you don't like regular cake that much."

He was a freak, really. The man would rather put his sweet honey on anything that didn't go with it. Cake would be a reasonable match, but instead, coffee and raw fish were his preferred mixups.

How strange.

"I did. I did mention that, didn't I." The man took the fork set out just for him, taking a bite of the cake as if it were a delicacy. His face was practically spread open in a wide grin, ear to ear as he slowly chewed on it.

This was the most you had ever seen him enjoy a cake. The one at his last birthday party had him in near tears from how much he had hated the flavor - chocolate, without any honey to subside the pain of putting it in his mouth.

But Kaldo was practically drooling as he dug into his sad little cake. He had taken to pouring a rich honey on it, as if it would make a difference in the texture of fish and gelatin.

"Do you," It was stupid to ask, given that he was nearly done destroying the disgusting dish. His face was smeared with honey and pieces of fish, and you only smiled back as a stupid grin spread across his face. "Do you like it? Sorry if it's not the gift you expected."

You made him walk all the way to your home for it. On his birthday as well.

Frankly, you were a rather horrible wife-to-be.

"If I were to be honest..." Kaldo put down his fork, looking down at the remaining pieces of his cake. It was more like a soup now, as his took the prongs of his tool and played with the pieces that remained.

"...I think this is the best birthday gift I've ever received."

"Is it really?"

The lily-haired man nodded, his bangs somehow spared from the mess that was spread across his face. He looked like a bear that had found a beehive, and with the smile he wore, it was obvious that he felt like a winner.

"You know? We need this at our wedding. It's a really good cake."

"What?"

This was the first time Kaldo had ever mentioned something like that. The man was rather silent about those things - as far as you knew, he had only agreed to marry you because it was a good tax write-off for the both of you.

"If you want it, sure. We'll have two cakes." You wanted to be a good wife, really.

"...Really?"

"Why not? It's your wedding too."

It was subtle, a barely noticeable detail in the character he portrayed to you. But his shoulders relaxed, his spine deflating from the stiff posture he kept at all times. His arms leaned against the table, and his neck rolled around to lean to the side.

It looked as if he truly relaxed for once in his life.

"...Yeah. Why not indeed."

I'm lowkey just writing whatever the fuck I want rn, Kaldo is just my muse rn.

#mashle x reader #mashle #kaldo x reader #kaldo gehenna x reader #happy birthday kaldo my lil pookie schmookie wish you were real </3

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theostrophywife · 1 year ago

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the christmas special | the slytherin boys.

author's note: a cute collection of christmas activities that each of the boys would do with you. consider this as my gift to all of you. merry christmas pookies ✨

BLAISE

during first year, you and blaise established a tradition of pranking your friends with elf on a shelf.

some of your most notable accomplishments were: placing your little elf friend on all of the cigarette butts that theo had a horrible habit of littering with and placing it on his desk while the elf smoked one of his fancy expensive italian cigs that he saves for special occasions.

for mattheo, blaise took an action figure and smeared it in red food dye to commemorate all of the fights he seemed to get himself into.

for draco, you slipped a tiny amount of purple dye in his shampoo which turned his hair lavender for an entire week.

for enzo, blaise ransacked his honeydukes stash and left a mountain of wrappers on his bed.

for regulus, you replaced his sleakeasy potion with plain old water, which made his pretty curls frizz up like he'd been electrocuted.

neither one of you were stupid enough to prank tom. that was a one way ticket to an avada.

this year, though, blaise flipped the game on you.

you woke up in your dorm surrounded by flowers and balloons with the elf sitting at the edge of your bed, holding a note that said: call me a christmas, because i'm already wrapped up in you — b.

you chuckled as you read the note. your door swung open, revealing a grinning blaise.

"i thought you might like that one. i have plenty of others, though."

"is that so, zabini? well, let's hear them then."

"are you a christmas tree? because I’m really pining fir you."

"wanna feel my ugly christmas sweater? it's made out of boyfriend material."

you burst into a fit of laughter, making blaise grin. "and my personal favorite, the star may be on top of the tree but you can be the star on top of me."

"blaize zabini, you are ridiculously adorable."

"yeah? did my efforts work then? wanna grab some hot cocoa with your favorite person?"

"oh? is draco free?" you chuckled at the sight of blaise's frown. "i'm kidding, blaise. now come on, i need a sweet treat. besides you, of course."

DRACO

draco was ridiculously competitive, which was a trait that you usually found endearing in your boyfriend, but he was definitely taking this gingerbread house competition to another level.

you had never seen draco so concentrated, measuring each piece with his wand and spreading the icing with such careful precision.

"we're going to win this year, I just know it." he said, his pink tongue poking out of the side of his mouth as he secured the roof over your gingerbread house.

"it's not about winning, babe. it's about having fun!"

"fun?" draco asked incredelously. "no, darling, this is about crushing riddle underneath my boot, which I suppose is my own version of fun."

"oi! I heard that malfoy," mattheo complained.

"sorry matty, dray's gone full psycho." you teased, pinching your boyfriend's cheek. "I think it's rather cute though."

"you'd be the only one," theo said with an eye roll.

"don't hate, nott. where's your house anyways?"

theo shrugged while mattheo snorted. "notty boy here got too high and ate the entire thing."

you chuckled. "well, that's less competition for you and I, dray."

"good," draco said with a pleased smile. "now come on, darling. I want you to put on the finishing touch."

you nodded, taking the gumdrops from your boyfriend's hands and sticking them around the perimeter of the house. draco surveyed your hard work, really the only work he let you do since he was so adamant on building the entire thing from scratch.

"it's perfect, love."

"blimey," enzo said, cocking his head at the house. "you two really went all out this year."

tom scoffed. "it's architecturally inaccurate."

you rolled your eyes at the older riddle. "well, we couldn't exactly replicate everything, but i'd say dray did a fantastic job on his house."

"our house, darling," draco corrected. "or at least it will be soon enough."

"is that malfoy manor?" regulus asked.

"precisely," draco confirmed with a proud smile. he looped an arm around your waist, pressing a kiss against your cheek. "and i've got the future lady of the manor right by my side."

you giggled, leaning into your boyfriend's touch. "lady of the manor? hmm, I like the sound of that, dray."

ENZO

every year, enzo looked forward to ice skating on the frozen banks of the black lake.

he was terrible at it, but it only made it that much more endearing.

you remembered the first time he dragged you out into the cold during first year, talking your ear off about how excited he was for this time of year.

along with you and enzo, the rest of your friends joined in on the fun. mattheo and theo were absolute menaces on ice, while regulus and draco made a whole competition out of it. pansy and blaise were content to watch in the safety of their enchanted tent, sipping hot chocolate in peace.

over the years, enzo had gotten a little bit better, but he was still a little shaky on the ice. he never minded though since you were always there to hold his hand while you patiently skated around the rink with him at a glacial pace.

you weren't that great at skating either. or so he thought.

until the two of you were chatting, keeping to the makeshift wooden rails at the edge of the lake, when mattheo and theo came barreling past.

"watch out, y/n!"

you clocked the two menaces skating past you at full speed and made a rather complicated maneuver that enzo couldn't have even dreamed of landing.

"oh my god," enzo exclaimed. "are you alright? and what was that? that little twirl and land combo? I thought you couldn't skate, honey."

you smiled sheepishly, cheeks warming at enzo's nickname for you. "it's called an axel jump. I may have told a little fib when I said I couldn't skate..."

"I can see that, love," enzo said with a chuckle. "why would you pretend that you couldn't skate?"

"I didn't want you to feel left out," you admitted shyly. "the boys are always showing off and I don't know, it was kind of nice just to take it slow with you."

"you did that for me?" enzo asked as a grin spread across his face. "i like taking it slow with you too, y/n. I look forward to it every year."

"and here I thought you just really liked the ice and snow."

"are you kidding? I hate the cold," enzo replied, shivering. "but I like when you old my hand and lead me around the rink. and I also like it when you make us hot cocoa with extra marshmallows after. I just like you, honey."

you beamed. "I like you too, enz."

enzo smiled in return, kissing the tip of your frost kissed nose. "now come on, love. show me that move again. it was hot."

MATTHEO

"babe, we're supposed to decorate the cookies not eat them all," you teased, snatching a snow shaped cookie out of your boyfriend's hands.

"but they taste so good," mattheo said with a pout. he flashed his big, brown eyes at you, fishing for sympathy. "you know I can't resist sweet things. why do you think i'm dating you?"

you chuckled at his cheekiness. "nice try, matty. but we have to decorate the cookies first and then you can have a bite."

"oh, i'll have a bite alright," you squealed as he tugged you flush against him, pulling you in for a not so innocent kiss. "there. that should hold me over for a few minutes. at least, long enough to decorate."

you shook your head and handed him the cookies and icing. mattheo hummed, bumping against your hip every so often as the two of you began decorating.

despite his complaints, mattheo's cookies turned out way better than yours.

"how are you doing that?" you asked, staring at the perfect piping on his snowflake.

"it's easy, princess. here, let me show you." mattheo slotted himself behind you, his big hands enveloping yours as he attempted to guide you in replicating his design.

"real smooth, matty. this is just an excuse to wrap your arms around me, isn't it?"

"hmm, no i'm genuinely trying to help."

you raised a brow, backing against his crotch. matty released a low groan. "is that a candy cane or are you just happy to see me, baby?"

"all i'm saying is that i'm more than happy to give you a white christmas, princess."

with a giggle, you turned around and pulled him down to you by the front of his cheesy christmas sweater. his lips met yours in an eager kiss, sighing softly into your mouth. as the sweet taste of icing coated your tongue, you chuckled.

"really, baby? you didn't even last a half hour before sneaking a taste."

"you're lucky I haven't bent you over this table yet, mi amor." his low, husky voice sent shivers down your spine.

"on second thought, i'm not opposed to having that sweet treat a little early."

mattheo smirked. those big, brown eyes were nearly black as he lifted you onto the counter, big hands roaming underneath your sweater as his lips attached themselves to your neck.

"I was hoping you'd say that, my little snowflake." you squealed as he pulled you towards him, smirking as he knelt before you. “let’s put you on the naughty list tonight, y/n.”

“I don’t mind, matty. I know you’ll make me feel real nice.”

“damn right, baby.”

REGULUS

you and regulus had not planned on getting this drunk.

the game plan was to tackle decorating the common room with ample snacks, spiked eggnog, and a classic christmas playlist.

you hadn't accounted for reggie's heavy hand when it came to making drinks.

"how much rum did you put in this thing, reg?" you asked between giggles, wrapping tinsel around yourself like a makeshift scarf. "i'm really feeling it now and we're only halfway done."

"hmm, dunno, I kind of just eyeballed it." regulus responded, dangling two emerald ornaments through his ears. "I also may have nicked the bottle from malfoy. he's going to throw an absolute fit when he finds out."

"my father will hear about this!" you exclaimed, repeating draco's iconic line. "how dare you put your peasant lips on my vintage rum?"

regulus snickered, clutching his sides. "don't make me laugh, love. i'm already smashed enough as it is."

"honestly, that's what they get for making us decorate all by ourselves."

"hmm, I don't mind. at least I got to spend more time with you."

you chuckled. "we're already attached at the hip as it is."

regulus raised a brow, pulling you in by your wrist. he stood to his full height and spun you around in a circle before catching you in his arms. "are you trying to say you're tired of me, ma chérie?"

"never. you know you're my favorite person, reggie."

"you're my favorite, too." regulus murmured, his green eyes softening as he swayed. music played softly in the background as he pulled you closer. "dance with me?"

you giggled. "we're smashed, reggie. what if I trudge on your toes?"

"you do that sober anyways," regulus teased. "just humor me, please, y/n?"

you nodded, smiling softly as regulus led you into a waltz. despite his drunkenness, reggie was still the elegant dancer that he always was. it was in that aristocratic black blood, you supposed.

as you swayed in his arms, regulus pressed his forehead against yours, his pretty curls tickling your nose as he smiled. "tu es l'amour de ma vie."

"what does that mean, reg?"

"it means that there's no one else i'd rather get drunk and decorate with besides you. merry christmas, y/n."

you beamed, rising to your tiptoes and kissing his nose. "merry christmas, reggie."

THEO

playing white elephant with your friends was chaotic, to say the least. the annual tradition almost always ended in tears and sometimes even blood.

this time around, you were the one most likely to draw blood.

"that's not fair!" you exclaimed, crossing your arms and glaring at draco. "you only want the heated blanket because I want it. you probably have a thousand fur throws, malfoy!"

draco smirked as he wrapped the white, fluffy blanket around his shoulders. "yes, but I stole this one. from you. that makes it special."

the shit-eating grin he flashed at you was enough to push you over the edge. "i'm going to skin you, you little ferret. give me back my blanket—"

"oh no you don't, dolcezza." a pair of strong arms wrapped around your waist and held you back from lunging at draco. theo hauled you over his shoulder and set you down on the sofa.

"don't manhandle me, teddy!"

theo bit back a grin as you huffed in indignation. he knelt before you, tapping your nose. "you're being bad, little missy. i'm putting you in time out."

"i'm not a child!" you responded, frowning at your best friend. "besides, draco started it. he stole my bloody blanket!"

"yes, but that's no excuse for violence, is it bella?"

"theodore, you literally bit enzo for taking your gift last year."

"I never claimed to be perfect."

you rolled your eyes, which only made theo chuckle. "tell you what. if you promise not to maim malfoy, i'll buy you as many heated blankets as you want." you raised a brow, clearly unimpressed with the offer. "i'll even throw in some hot chocolate and cuddles. the complete teddy package. sound good?"

"okay," you said with a sigh. "but only cause you asked nicely."

theo smiled and kissed your forehead. "good girl. now come on, pans made spiked eggnog."

thirty minutes later, you were curled up on the sofa with theo. you yawned, blinking slowly at whatever mattheo was supposed to be enacting for christmas charade. he was either doing something very vulgar or riding a sleigh. you could never really tell with matty.

"getting sleepy, bella?" theo asked, poking his nose against yours.

"mhm," you murmured, burrowing yourself into theo's neck. he smelled like cigarettes and pine. "will you carry me to bed, teddy?"

"course," theo replied as he kissed your temple. "don't you want to bring your blanket, though?"

you blinked in confusion, but smiled when theo presented you with the fluffy, white heated blanket. "you got it back for me?"

"draco and I made a deal," theo confirmed as he wrapped the blanket around your shoulders.

"threatening to throw me off of the astronomy tower if I don't give you the blanket does not constitute as a deal, theodore," malfoy said with a frown.

theo waved him off as he scooped you into his arms. "the important thing is, you've got your blanket back."

you wrapped your arms around his neck and smiled. "you're the best, teddy."

"anything for you, tesoro." theo murmured softly as he climbed up the stairs with you in his arms.

"wait!" mattheo exclaimed. "you're under the mistletoe." he pointed to the small sprig hanging atop the alcove you were currently under. "that means you two have to kiss."

theo flushed, his gaze dropping to your lips as he shifted nervously. "we don't have to, bella—" the words died in his throat as you tugged at the front of his sweater, dragging his lips down to yours.

the kiss was soft and sweet and you melted into theo like the missing piece of a puzzle finally slotting into place after years and years of pining and yearning.

you smiled as theo blinked slowly, those pretty eyes brimming with love and adoration. "you—I—wow," he breathed.

"c'mon, teddy. you promised me cuddles." you chuckled, brushing your thumb over his lips. "and kisses too?"

theo grinned. "kisses too, amorina."

TOM

tom had never really been a big fan of the holidays.

he certainly had no interest in taking part in something as childish as secret santa.

yet the second he heard that you were participating, tom was suddenly the first one to toss his name in the ring.

by luck of the draw (he threatened enzo who was the one to actually pick your name to switch), tom got you this year and even he had to admit that he was excited to exchange gifts.

the annual slytherin christmas party was the usual sensory nighmare of tom's dreams, but he soldiered through the incessant chattering, itchy wool jumper, and heavy handed spiked hot chocolate. all because of you.

"are you having fun, pumpkin?"

tom's brow quirked at the nickname, but made no protest as you sidled up next to him. on anyone else, the red velvet dress with white fur trim, ornament earrings, and christmas lights necklace would've looked tacky, but for some reason, tom found it quite endearing on you.

"it's not horrible," tom conceded.

"not horrible? why, thomas, that's almost a compliment."

"don't push your luck, doll."

you chuckled as you looped your arm through his. "wouldn't dream of it," you responded cheekily. "now come tommy, it's time for secret santa."

tom watched as the rest of the group exchanged gifts. more accurately, he watched you clap and cheer at every gift that youy friends opened. the look of genuine joy on your face was almost cracked a smile out of him.

he supposed it wasn't such a terrible thing to endure.

"your turn, y/n," pansy said.

all eyes were on you as you took your gift from the pile, carefully unwrapping the pretty green and silver paper. tom fought the urge to grin as you took the black silk ribbon off of the box and tied your hair back with it.

you pulled out the first gift, which was a set of fresh coloured inkpots from france that you religiously used to write your notes with.

"oh my god, these are my favorite! and I just ran out too," you exclaimed excitedly.

the next gift were a pair of the high heeled boots tom had caught you staring at in hogsmeade. you were convinced that your feet would get too cold in them and that they'd hurt your feet, so tom charmed them to be comfortable and warm, which you discovered with delight when you pulled them on.

"i love them! i'm going to wear them all the time."

you peered into the box, which contained one last gift. a pretty pink leather bound journal that had your initials scrawled in gold ink on the cover. your eyes immediately snapped up to tom's.

"how fancy," pansy said. "any guesses on who your secret santa is, y/n?"

"tommy!" you said with a grin. "i've only complained to him a thousand times about running out of my coloured ink and he was with me when I was eyeing these shoes in the village." you hugged the journal to your chest, smiling shyly at him. "and I told him how much I liked his fancy journal."

"now we can match, doll."

"thank you, thank you, thank you," you said excitedly, enveloping tom in a tight hug. the rest of the group looked on curiously, smirking amongst themselves at the fact that tom allowed the gesture. if it were anyone else, tom probably would've hexed them within an inch of their life.

"does that mean you like it, y/n?"

"no," you said, still maintaining a death grip around his neck. "i love it, tom. it's perfect. you're perfect, pumpkin."

tom blinked as you leaned forward and kissed his cheek. your cherry lip gloss branded his skin, but he didn't mind one bit. he would wear the mark proudly.

"do my eyes deceive me?" mattheo crooned. "are you blushing, brother?"

"aw, how cute. pumpkin’s got a little crush," theo added.

tom glared at both boys. "you have two seconds to run."

mattheo and theo both looked at each other before taking off in the opposite direction.

"really, tommy?" you teased, giggling.

"they're being twats."

"such a grumpy little grinch," you exclaimed, tapping his nose. "at least let me give you your gift before you maim the boys."

"can I have a hint?"

"let's just say you and nagini will be warm and cozy this christmas," you said with a devious smile. "I made the two of you matching jumpers!"

"you better be joking, doll."

"oh, i'm as serious as a heart attack, tommy.” tom scowled as you slipped your fingers through his. "but don't worry, you get more than one gift tonight."

"you're lucky you're cute, y/n."

you chuckled, standing on your tiptoes to press a matching kiss on his other cheek. "yeah, but not nearly as cute as you, pumpkin."

#all I want for christmas is for these men to rail me until I can't walk like i'm not asking for a lot #theo nott #mattheo riddle #draco malfoy #blaise zabini #tom riddle #lorenzo berkshire #regulus black #pansy parkinson #theo nott fic #mattheo riddle fic #tom riddle fic #draco malfoy fic

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mrsfrecklesmarauders · 2 months ago

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"So how well did you do in the exam, Sev?"Lily asks excitedly.

Severus makes a dramatic pause, but is hiding a smile, then he shows her his paper: "An easy A+"

Lily, who didn't sleep to study all night, blushes. But she still shows her friend her own exam.

"An A - . But just barely. Physics is not my strongest subject"

It is the most difficult subject for everyone. Because their professor gives them the most horrible examinations. Everyone is torn up after it has ended. Lily knows some of her classmates even cried.

Severus touches her shoulder "You did great, Lily. It was a general difficult exam. You know how Frumentar is"

He doesn't sound like he made much effort. While Lily is exhausted for cracking her head up during the exam. She feels like a fool for trying so hard when others make it look so easy.

It should have been an A+. Lily feels like a failure.

That's when she hears them. The Marauders.

Peter sounds very stressed "I can't believe you got an A+. An A+!! It was the most difficult exam I've ever done"

"Easy peacy, I tell you" James grins.

"But you didn't even study!" Peter protests "We stayed until late with Remus revising it all"

James shrugs "The exam had everything Frumentar gave us in class. Nothing out of this world"

Peter groans, reflecting Lily's annoyance. How dares he? James Potter is Lily's number one enemy for a reason.

"How did you guys do?" James is asking to his friends.

Peter hides his paper. Sirius and Remus look at each other.

"C+" Remus sighs "I knew I could do better"

Lily would have died if she got a C+. She had never been lower than a B+.

"Same" Sirius hits Remus's palm. He doesn't look perturbed like him though "I don't worry. Grades are stupid. School sucks. It's all about the great things you do in life" he winks "Like Steve Jobs, for example. Did you know he left school?"

"I bet Steve Jobs didn't have a mother that would kill him" Peter whines.

"What did you get, Wormy?" Sirius asks putting an arms around him.

"I'm not sharing my grade" Peter blushes.

"It's okay, boys" James exclaims "Not everyone can be a genius like me"

Lily's blood boils. She really hates him. How come he is great at everything without moving a stupid finger? Some people are great academically but suck at sports. Like Severus. Others are great at Gymnastics but aren't that good at school. Like Marlene.

Although James Potter is good at both. And Lily hates him for that.

James Potter, Severus and her are always competing to be the top of their class. And it might be stupid. But Lily wants to win. All the time.

"I bet he has the teachers bought, Lily. Don't worry" Severus says, sensing Lily's anger.

"Let's just go, Sev"

Lily is so so angry and frustrated that when she passes by and James says "Hey, Evans" in the cheeky way he always does, she groans openly.

"How did you do in the exam?"

"Fuck off!!"

#Jily as Academic Rivals but Severus is as good as well #Remus is very good but he tries so hard sometimes that his nerves get to him #Sirius is very intelligent and can do better he just doesn't care about school #And Peter tries really hard but he always struggles to get good grades #marauders era #muggle au #lily evans #james potter #jily #sirius black #remus lupin #peter pettigrew

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thetorturedbuckydepartment · 6 months ago

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chapter ten: i don't want you like a best friend

pairing: Bucky barnes x plus-sized!reader

summary: Six months ago, you were appointed to be Head Nurse to the Avengers by Tony Stark. Every day, you count your lucky stars, knowing the horrible past you quickly ditched back in England. It holds you back, restrains you, from getting close to anyone when on your new job.

That's until you met and fell in love with Bucky Barnes. The supposed assassin with a heart of gold, who seems to be eager to get to know you. To peel back your layers piece by piece, but could you trust him once you're laid before him raw and vulnerable?

masterlist

PREVIOUS PART -- CHAPTER NINE: TRUTH, DARE, SPIN BOTTLES

warnings: language, self-deprecation, making out like horny teenagers, very light dry humping, blood and stitches, Bucky being feral and a dom

word count: 2.1k

Taglist: @scott-loki-barnes @cjand10 @blackwidownat2814 @blackbirdwitch22 @laughterafter @blackhawkfanatic @mcira @bxckybxrnes24 @rachellovesloki @toffeacademia @bean-bean2000 @lana525 @selella @lalalalokii

A/N: oh god I love this chapter!! and that's a wrap on guilty as sin? folks!! ive enjoyed writing this fanfic as a form of escapism from exams so much, and the love and support ive received is much more than I was hoping for, and im absolutely in love with every single one of you! there will be a bonus chapter uploaded this time next week, and the very final chapter will come out a bit after that....until then, keep your eyes peeled for a very special, very new surprise that I've been working on!!

The rest of the night is spent with the both of you in flushed silence, both knowing that you stand on the same shore, face to face. But neither takes a step forward.

Why are you so scared? Where had all your self-confidence gone? But his hands don’t leave you, and neither do yours. You decide to take an early night, reminding Bucky he needs a good night’s sleep if he wants to get better, as if he isn’t already in perfect, tip-top condition, just with some pink marks that will disappear with the moon.

Even the motorcycle ride back to the compound is silent. But not awkward, and you revel in the time you can rest your head against the nape of his neck and just breathe, listening to the sounds of the city pass you by. It’s extremely peaceful, to have Bucky’s warmth envelope you without a single sound to overstimulate after your social battery has run out. When he unclips your helmet for you, his hands are right back on your face.

“It’s me, isn’t it?” The cold wind nips at your cheeks as you stare like you’ve been caught in a lie. But what’s the point in holding out now? In denying what’s clear as day to everyone?

“Okay, maybe we should go inside first, come on.” Bucky’s noticed you shivering, standing there in a summer dress and forgoing common sense in layering for fashion.

“What’s you?” You ask, feigning innocence as a default safety mechanism, as Bucky leads you by the hand to his room. Your heart is in your throat, pounding harder and harder with every step you take towards the bedroom, where it would just be…the two of you. You try and swallow.

“You were starin’ at me while singing that sexy song, doll. I’m not stupid.” He closes the door behind you with his metal arm, and in doing so traps you against it. You stare straight up, heat rising to your cheeks at his inevitable closeness. You need him closer. Your lips part, and the confession flies right out of the red lips he can’t stop staring at.

“Fine! Yes, Bucky. It’s you. You’re the one that I have a crush on.” You feel yourself tremble, wondering what will happen next. And so, you employ your most familiar defence mechanism.

“But I don’t want to ruin what we have already, as friends. That’s why I’ve been trying to avoid it, and to not tell you. Because, well, you’re my best friend. I don’t want to fuck that up by confessing I want you, I—.”

“What if I don’t want you like a best friend? What if I want you more, far beyond that? Have you ever once considered how obviously it’s painted all over my face that I’m completely taken by you?”

Your mouth drops open in shock. Despite the way everyone’s been teasing the both of you for months, you didn’t expect it to be real. You didn’t expect it to be such a fire, that when you look at him and into his eyes you see the flames lighting him ablaze, in just the way they’ve taken you.

“I…Bucky—.”

“You’re beautiful. You’re kind, you’re talented. You have a smile that could melt the fucking Arctic, and a heart that puts a saint to shame. Doll, it’s you. You’re the one I want, you’re the only one I’ve ever wanted. You’re the only one I’ve ever needed like this, like it physically hurts me to be away from you for even a second. I— I’m yours. Completely, utterly, and probably a bit pathetically, yours. Always have been, always will be.”

And you believe him. Your brain puts itself into overdrive trying to figure out ways this could be a con, a get-love-quick scheme he’s the charming salesman for, but it comes out blank. Your heart wins and desire consumes and you just can’t anymore.

“Kiss me.” It’s barely more than a whisper, but the two of you are so close, of course he hears it. He can hear your heart, and smell every part of you, from your intoxicating perfume to your pheromones. It’s driving him feral, wild. It has from the very first second he saw you, trying your best to stay balanced on a rickety ladder, so lost in thought you didn’t hear him come in and almost trip over his feet at the sight of you.

And so, for once, Bucky Barnes lets go. Of his worries that he cannot be the man you deserve, of his fears that he will hurt you. Temporarily, at least. And his body spurs him on, tells him to close the distance and just act.

You blink, and then his mouth is on yours.

Your arms instinctively wrap around his neck, pulling him right into you because every atom’s worth of space between the two of you feeling like a fucking chasm, and you can’t help but sigh. For once, you got what you wanted. You got who you wanted.

His mouth tastes so sweet, a lingering hint of the cherry coke he was nursing all night all over his lips and it’s making your brain short circuit. His hands are on your face and then in your hair and then just blindly grabbing, pulling you as tightly to him as he physically can while he tastes, tastes the sweet nectar of reciprocation right off the lips he’s been dying to kiss all night. Like you’re a sacred artefact he’s been begging for his whole life to be able to touch, just once.

Both of your hearts beat in tandem, pressed so close together than it’s almost like you desire to become one entity. And it drives you up the wall when he groans against your teeth, showing you just how much he’s enjoying this. Your head is beginning to spin, and you just need more.

All your life you’ve been made to feel shame about sex and sexuality just because nobody is expected to be sexually attracted to you. And in one single sound from Bucky’s throat, all those notions are dispelled, cast away. You are wanted, you are cherished. You are valued, standing between Bucky’s warm hands and knowing there is no other place he’d rather be than against your mouth, desperately trying to melt the two of you together into one person so you never feel distance ever again.

He reluctantly pulls away first, feeling his chest burn from the lack of oxygen. He suspects you feel the same as him, maybe even worse, and he breaks your lips apart, reveling in the whine that slips past yours, a protest of the disconnection.

“You okay?” He asks, as you take in deep breaths, staring into his cobalt eyes that look almost black with how much his pupils are dilated.

You nod vigorously. “Please, Buck. I need more. I need you.” You all but beg, the grip on his shoulders tightening as you pull him close.

“You also need to breathe baby.” His thumb ghosts over your lips as you pant, and you realise you’re being too needy. It’s probably putting him off, and it makes your cheeks flush with embarrassment.

You’re being too much.

“Oh, I— Sorry, I’ll calm down, I didn’t mean to be too much—.”

His thumb slips past your lips and begins to caress your tongue, pressing down on it as a way of effectively shutting you up.

“Oh no. Don’t apologise, baby. I can’t get fucking enough of you. But I also don’t want you to pass out on me, doll. Can’t have that, can we? Just need you to catch your breath, then we can go right back to what we were doing, yeah?” His eyes are so dark, and his voice is so low, that it’s turning you on beyond compare.

You moan, and his expression shifts. You wonder if he hates the sound. “Fuck, do that again.” You let your eyes flutter shut and you heed his command. You’d do anything he asked of you, if he says it in this same tone he’s using in this moment.

“Fuck. You sound so pretty, baby. All for me?” Your heart is beating out of your chest, begging to be freed, for you to get what you want.

“Yeah. All for you, Bucky. Always for you.” You tug at his wrist, pulling him closer into you. God, he’s just never close enough.

He kisses you again, and you almost sob, giving in. He’s more frenetic, hungry, this time. Anything soft and sweet he was planning to tease you with has now long evaded his mind, now claiming your mouth as his. He grabs at your thighs, encouraging you to wrap them around his waist, and you do so.

Forgetting any limitations that may have been in place, if Bucky were a normal man. But he’s not.

And you’re too far gone to care. He walks the both of you backwards, and then sits down on the edge of the bed before he turns, laying your head comfortably on the pillows as he hovers above you, between your thighs. Your hips roll upwards, rubbing against his crotch, and then he moans against your mouth, pulling your bottom lip between both of his.

You grip him even tighter, nails practically ripping through the leather when every part of you is suddenly too warm, and Bucky all but rips himself away from you.

You gasp, staring at his pink lips now completely covered in your red, swollen from the bruise of the kiss. “Bucky? What—.”

“Your hand. It’s bleeding.”

“Huh? No it’s—“ You pull your hand off of him and note the maroon colour, quite quickly seeping through the bandage. “Oh shit. How’d you know?” You ask, pushing at his chest so the both of you can sit. He kneels between your legs as you balance yourself on your hand, staring at the other one. You guess you must have ripped your stitches open, and that means…a trip to the infirmary. Looking like a hot mess.

Bucky watches you, drowning in his guilt that fills his lungs with polar molecules of I’m sorry and nothing else. “I think I ripped a stitch or two, I’ll need to go down to the medbay. Denise is on shift tonight, hopefully she won’t be too pissed at the sight of me.” You smile at him.

“Can I go with you?” You nod, and indicate for him to let you get up.

“Before we get down there, we need to wipe our faces, love. My damn lipstick’s not kiss proof after all.” You chuckle, gently cradling your hand as you stand. “Let me do it, please.” His eyes have grown somber, so far removed from the situation in his pants. You soften, feeling horrible at having brought it up again.

Once he’s done cleaning your face, you voice your feelings. “I’m sorry, Buck. First it was Tony, now this. I promise I’m not doing this on purpose to make you feel bad, you know you’re not to blame, right?”

He smiles, placing a kiss on your now bare lips, soft and sweet and understanding. “I know. The guilt’s still gonna kill me, but it’s not because of you, doll. I know.” He presses a quick kiss to your cheek before putting one warm hand on the small of your back as he guides you to the infirmary, insisting on pulling all the doors on the way for you like nothing’s automated in this place. He even lets you sit on his lap while you get patched up, explaining to Denise that he’s here as your emotional support.

He’s with you every step of the way, as you get back to your rooms and he pulls you back into his, to his warm bed that’s too large for a man to sleep alone in, settling behind you with his warm chest against your back. He’s taken to muttering soft praises and compliments against the shell of your ear until you fall asleep.

He holds your injured hand in his metal one, completely encapsulating it so you won’t hurt yourself in your sleep.

And he does it all as more than your best friend.

But would he consider himself your lover? Your boyfriend?

You dream away the hours, full of red hot lust entanglements and ice-cream sweet love confessions with the man currently spooning you.

He listens to your heartbeat to calm him, as he too falls asleep in your safe hold, knowing exactly where he’s found himself, in this bed with you.

Home.

BONUS PART

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x plus size reader #x plus size reader #marvel #k's writing corner

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