#and then 10% of the time i'm. still sad | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

skwivr · 3 months ago

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#i think I should try to talk to my psych nurse about the possibility of my having bpd.#i've always overlooked the possibility because the way i feel doesn't line up with the stereotype i've always had of it #like a few days on a few days off like clockwork and it's always really apparent #but i really am like 90% of the time at like devastating dysfunctional lows #and then 10% of the time i'm. still sad #but also like its 4am and I have 40 tabs of wool and wool replacements because i'm contemplating making a coat even #though i need one in a month and don't have time #anyway saying all this because i can feel a low coming back in rapidly and i'm like no no please not again

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buttercupshands · 1 year ago

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Happy (almost belated) Birthday, Tenko Shimura!

wanted to draw something light after... you know 419...

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shannonsketches · 1 year ago

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he's so important to me

#i guess i need to watch the anime but super's manga has just been a self-indulgent fever dream for me from start to finish #100000/10 absolutely perfect so validating so extremely catered to my tastes and headcanons and analyses and humor #so fucking funny and emotional and intense and goofy and beautifully drawn #my beautiful son getting to finally fucking see his HARD won character growth fucking shine and choose love and choose to be loved!!!!!!#Goku just being Goku Vegeta being Team Dad Piccolo being Team Grandpa Bulma being a fucking superstar keeping everybody organized and fed #god i love this squad i love this series i love these dumbasses and their struggles and their triumphs and their stupid childish bonding #I love that Toriyama just spent the last several years reminding the class that DB as a whole has always been an ACTION-COMEDY about LOVE #and I'm SO sad that the z anime really never did it justice in that sense because of having to fill time with dramatic tension but god. GOD #THE MANGA HAS ALWAYS BEEN SO CLEAR ON THAT THESIS.#Just all about Restorative Justice and Community and CARING even when you wish SO MUCH that you didn't care but yoU DO GODDAMMIT!!!#SUCH a great series I'm so sad it took losing mr t for me to finally read it but my god I needed to read it now and I'm so glad he wrote it #and i'm SO glad he wrote it Exactly Like This #once again rip to a legend i'm caught up and crying it's so perfect it's SO everything I've wanted to see onscreen and embedded in canon #and canon isn't everything but it still feels gREAT to be SO 1:1 on the same page with an author re: how you interpret your blorbo yknow???#been rotating this man in my head for 25 years and Mr Toriyama just mWAH kissed me on the forehead about it #anyway enough tag rambles I'm off again aklsjla #bonus for that kenpachi shit and letting him say 'sorry dude I can't be cold and numb anymore but this is still cathartic as fuck lol' like #mr t i hope you see the HIGHEST tier of heaven for that (and obviously for like everything all of it the whole life you led)#dbtag

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dawnthefluffyduck · 1 year ago

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Free time has (sort of) arrived

(cat is katsrkole on instagram)

#still trying to figure out snouts #shockingly enough I never really drew anthro characters before i found ralsei #see i've actually done quite a lot of larger drawings in my figure drawing class #around 10-12 #but they're all drawings of real people and half of them are unclothed #and i have no interest in posting either of those things here #but just like last semester #the things i'm learning in that class are popping up in my personal drawings #so in a way i'm still kinda sharing a bit of what i've learned this semester? sort of??#i'm gonna be so damn sad when i don't have this professor anymore #he takes the stress out of model drawing so that we can focus on actually improving instead of just fighting for our grades #and it's working so well for pretty much everyone in the class #i will still likely not be doing any actual drawings any time soon #but if i went any longer without drawing for myself?#i think i was gonna combust #this was actually cathartic i am in a much better mood now #cats #kris #susie #ralsei #deltarune #doodles #okay tag wall finished now i will scroll because i have missed quite a lot lately

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stabbyfoxandrew · 7 months ago

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sometimes i see art of kevin day and think 'damn i need him bouncing and moaning on it'

but i ain't got nothing for him to bounce and moan on :((((

#how terribly sad. i have failed our queen #lol ignore me i'm having mental illness time : )#also. my wrist is still hurting. it's 5pm on a tuesday. and that means it's wednesday TOMORROW. and i still have 10 asks left.#this does not bode well for my ocd having ass...#also dear ones who have sent me asks... i love you but i am not allowed to answer them until wipw is done.#(i am very strict.)#(no i am not.) </3 #diaerie

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kagiura-akira · 3 months ago

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Left home feeling in the mood to work on winter exchange fic and put like 10,000 extra words in it bc I was feeling extra generous... now I'm just sleepy and want to write shirashiro bc I'm moody and ruminating on a (very gay) crush on my college best friend that was doomed from the start

#hopefully by the time I get home I'll be in the mood to write #anything really #but really i wanna polish up the winter fic and make it extra special ♥️#im so excited to give it to my person ♥️♥️♥️#now that I'm in a lull with erha i can concentrate kinda #the funny part is it's been 10 years since ive seen her tho and it still makes me a little sad

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britneyshakespeare · 1 year ago

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barnes and noble has been raising the prices of everything and further pushing for their premium membership option (which they raised the price of by 60 percent this year!) and then when they have big sales events, they're less than what they used to be.

last year at this time you could get one of their leather-bound book annex tomes for $12.50 (without a member discount) because of the 50 percent off all hardcover sales. but they raised the price of those tomes from 25 bucks to 30, and they decreased the sale from 50 percent off all hardcovers to 1/3rd off. so that same book that was $12.50 at last year's end-of-year sale is now 20 bucks. and that's supposed to be savings enough to induce me to walk into one of their stores this week?

i'm sorry but b&n has just gotten so greedy, even though their business has only been doing better and better in previous years. they do not have to be raising prices like they have been, and they can damn well afford to have the same savings events they used to. if you went to one of those hardcover sales a year or two ago, even if you lived in a less populated area like i do, you had never seen a b&n so busy in your life. things were flying off the shelves. they WERE making bank.

and as a company they've only been growing and growing (as much as the publishing industry has been, in recent years). but there are so many other ways to buy books. CHEAPER ways to buy books. MORE SUSTAINABLE ways to buy books. and since books and booksellers are doing really well right now, i don't see why barnes and noble is getting so greedy when they don't have to be. i dont like new shiny books that much. people buy books for the content, ultimately. sometimes we as consumers might make the choice that a new shiny book is worth paying a bit more for, but not that much. barnes and noble has just been demanding more and more of their customers' money for less and less benefit.

#kaily and i shared a membership account for several years but she cancelled it over the summer #bc of them raising it from 25 dollars per year to 40. i'm sorry but we just were not spending enough to make that worth it #the benefits for a member used to be 10 percent off everything in-store and free shipping online.#now it's 10 percent off everything in-store AND online with free shipping. which sounds good enough #but not for a 60 percent pricehike. and a bunch of other supposed benefits no one would ask for #like a free tote (geez. thanks. yeah i really need a free tote every year) and like. a free treat at a cafe on your kids' birthday?#i dont have a kid.#between the two of us. we were not buying 400 dollars worth of stuff at b&n every year #oh and it's also 10 percent off the in-store starbucks. but im pretty sure that USED to be a benefit they had #years ago?? like i SWEAR ive gotten money off at the b&n starbucks so i guess they got RID of that at some point #and gave it BACK when they HIKED UP THE PRICE TO 40 BUCKS A YEAR #text post #barnes and noble #it's a shame bc where i live. barnes and noble is the only like fancy bookstore #and i live in an area that my barnes and noble... is like. what a boston barnes and noble eats for breakfast.#it's two floors. there are plenty of books that it doesn't have. plenty of sections that are very small #like the poetry section is just pathetic. i look at it every time i go and it just makes me sad.#i guess a lot of the book annex stuff contains poetry but still that's not really enough to entertain a rich interest in the genre for long #i outgrew the limited selection at my own local b&n poetry section by the time i was twenty. i was like i already know everything here.#which isn't to say i'm an expert in poetry. it's to say that the poetry section is barely bigger than a shelf #in fact ive never thought about it before but I OWN more poetry books than you'll find in the poetry section #at my local b&n. lol #i have a lot of nostalgia for b&n even though it is a big company that does not love me. i have very few books i bought new #that are not from barnes and noble. i got so many books that changed my life from them #i guess it's like a childhood/teenage attachment at this point bc ive had more mixed feelings abt the direction theyve been taking #for several years at this point.#and no i dont mean that theyve been expanding to selling more toys/games etc. theyve literally always done that in my lifetime. who cares.#they still have books #as an adult ive been more capable of seeing how limited their book selection is and how i have so many problems w that.#and it ultimately comes down to them being a big greedy company

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silusvesuius · 9 months ago

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n*loth is literally a demon i mean iHold on YAAASSSSS!

i mean it 😒😒😒

#text #nlvs very universal love story i believe from n*loth POV it can be read as a normal romance if you ignore all the concerning shit he's -#- thinking. but from t*lvas POV and 3rd person it's an actual horror story (deserve)#but tbh not even t*lvas is as scared as the 3rd party witnessing all of it happen . if there was a 3rd parttyyy. omg. so sad #anyways enough about them..... i wanted to talk about drawing ✍#i think traditional art has a lot of power to kick you to improving especially if you're trying it for the first time after a really long -#- while (Meee) and it doesn't feel as 'consumeristic' as digital art feels to me #cus anytime i sit down to draw something digitally 9 times outta 10 i'll just be trying to out-do myself in the way i execute an idea #in terms of colors or composition or anything i can do #such a tryharddd iUUugh but in traditional i turn my brain off and live the same life and share a brain with my pencil. and nothing feels -#- boring. or like 'i already drew this 😑' i'll just be chilling #but @ the same time it might stunt me because of it's comfortability #i mean idc but still i can get better in many ways && i want tu ......#to Be honest it feels like i can only do 'Cool' ideas digitally and traditional is for stuff that is 'easier'#but it is indeed freeing #i love u-god bbbbbbbbb #i mean not like i do art studies a lot cus i don't think it's something i need at this very moment i'm happy with where my art is #but @ heart i will always! Always be a tryhard #like look at what i can doo (speaking to mirror)#my nelothian narcissism ......? Huh #i love adding -ian to pairings and names now

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macchiatosdumptruck · 3 months ago

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#having mental health issues from such an early stage of development its like.#i have dulled myself to the prospect of joy because that theoretical was so unlikely #that to expect it was painful.#and the dull acceptance of just. baseline disappointment and depression is much easier to deal with #but then i get well enough that i see hints of what im missing.#and i get so mad at myself that i have crippled myself this way. that i took away the possibility even and i don't know how to find it again #i dont know how to just. be excited about things and be happy. so I sit there. still self isolating and self sabotaging. but like.#im a healthier more self aware way lmao.#but I'm still keeping myself from doing normal happy person things because I don't know how #and there's still that same sadness and regret that im wasting all of it. what i worked so hard for.the opportunity.#and im just paralyzed because i dont know how to want to be happy but im well enough to know that it isn't this #and you never stop feeling like youre wasting all your time and energy and potential and love #but it's still less scary than the alternative. because theres a sort of familiar comfort in disappointment.#that feeling when you get well enough to fully grasp what youve lost and well enough to be ao mad about that loss #but not well enough to to be brave enough to try #like. fucking hell man. anyways im fine. i think its just strange #being the first Christmas in like. 10 years not wasted. and its better. like genuinely it is all better.#but it's still not good.#personal post #brain drivel #*goes off to read porn*

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guinevereslancelot · 7 months ago

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being moved to a different classroom for my last week while the head of the program pretends she's doing me a favor but she's really doing my supervisor a favor 🙃

#she said she wanted me not to feel bad and be in a bad situation #but im p sure she did it bc my supervisor was up in the office talking shit ant me again this morning #she was acting all nice but 🤨#she's not nice soooo #also she didn't even follow up when i mentioned safety concerns for the kids when she asked why i was leaving #and she didn't ask me to stay #she did seem sympathetic but idk my co teacher thinks it was a favor to our supervisor to keep her happy #bc thry still think she walks on water #im so worried for the kids but it should be less stressful in t2 #also the teacher i swapped with today saw me two hours later and she was like: girl i get it 💀💀💀#lmao #so sad for the kids tho #but excited abt new opportunities #but i did want to have the time to say goodbye to the kids #its probably better to transition them this way bc they'll still see me a little bit the last week but not all day #and get used to me not always being there #so they won't care as much when i'm completely gone the week after 😭#but they were crying at thebgate between the playgrounds today and it was really hard #i was holding finn's hand over the gate 🥺#then we combined classes for the end of the day on the playground and that was like 10 minutes before i went home #so they got happy for a bit then broke down again when i said goodbye 😭#teddy was screaming at the door the whole time after i left 😭#i watched thru the classroom window while the other teachers were consoling them and it was so sad 💔#i've only had one cry when i went home before but this time it was half of them #bc they barely saw me all day then i left as soon as they thought i was going to stay #anyway #i have a job interview tomorrow and surgery #and maybe a second job interview #trying to focus on that rn #still glad i'm quitting but 💔

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subsequentibis · 9 months ago

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FINALLY started titanfall 2, the movement will take a little getting used to but i'm pleased to find it's way easier to pull off than i thought it would be, the ghost runner is so helpful and i like the game's clever ways of giving you Cool Badass Moments very organically.

#i'm very early in - sewage treatment plant section pre-cain fight #i got swarmed by the ticks and megaexploded for the first time and went 'ooo this is gonna be annoying. im gonna stop for a bit'#i'm having a bit of trouble orienting myself and keeping track of my surroundings but that's how i am in Every Game i get lost super easy #and the very minimal hud/quest tracker is nice and unobtrusive but also aids me in getting lost a bit #not too much though! i get turned around a little and then i figure it out #they're good at signposting your path pretty clearly with lighting & such so i can get back on track easy #a lot of the weapons feel VERY good to use too #probably my favorite moment so far is coming back from grabbing the first battery to find the imc guys around bt #and theyre talking about scrapping and selling him and i was sneaking up stealthy #and one of them says something like 'you'll say something different when the pilot has a gun to your head'#and i was like aha! my cue! and promptly landed a headshot on All Of Them in sequence which felt SO GOOD #so my review is 10000/10 good fucking game i'm bad at it but it's great #for context i have always been hesitant about platformers/games that require you to Be Creative about Movement #bc i was traumatized in my early years by fancy pants adventure 2 NO IM NOT KIDDING #I NEVER FIGURED OUT WALL JUMPS AND I FELT BAD ABOUT IT FOR AGES AND I DO STILL THINK ABOUT IT AND GET SAD #witness me

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tamayokny · 2 years ago

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i think i may be started all three classes tomorrow instead of two and if so i'm gonna kms.

#mads makes a text post #college life #grad school #when i signed up the catalog said i'll have two 10 week courses from aug-oct #and another 10 week course from sept-dec #but that class is apparently 15 weeks now....#if that's true i'm gonna DIE #three classes up at bat and working and doing other things #sighs unless you want to be like me and get things done quickly #do NOT go to grad school full time if you still want a life #i'm sad i'm gonna have to tell a friend i probably can't hang out this week :/

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wild-battlebond · 1 year ago

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the imminent closure of pokémon TV is still so sad. literally over a decade of existence& several redesigns... all just to be shut down sadly

#i wonder if the wayback machine has old versions of it archived. if so I'd like to do a retrospective on it of sorts #as i was using it on and off during basically It's Entire Existence and i still remember a lot about how it worked #like back when every series was available at oncewith 5 eps rotating in & out every friday #when they first started incorporating captions & episodes of DP would display captions for a NASA documentary (?)...#and I'm also just sad because this shoots my DP liveblog next yearish plans in the foot :P #we'll see if they replace the app with youtube or something ?#which in an of itself shows how pokémon TV was a real time capsule of an era where companies would host TV eps on their own sites #(for example in the late 00s/very early 10s the 4kids site hosted stuff like ojamajo doremi & chaotic - etc)#anyways... Well it's now or never to force myself to stop being scared of Websites #pokémon #pokéani #fiftytenpost #Also when i say entire existence i also mean i was there Before pokémon TV was even a thing. desperately trying to get the site to #play me a full episode instead of just a clip

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kunikidas-lost-glasses · 2 years ago

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I'm so excited for Pitaya Dragon coming to kingdom! I was waiting for them to come to crk as a playable character for so long but I'm also not ready to part from the Triple Cone Cup update yet.

It was my absolute favorite update of all the updates...

#:((#But I'm really super excited for Pitaya!#I'm just sad about the triple cone cup #And I still don't have Capsaicin :(((#I pulled so many times. So many 10 pulls.#But I'm very glad that the next update is dragon themed and includes Pitaya dragon #It makes everything a lot better #pitaya dragon cookie #I'm gonna cry for real if I won't get Pitaya. I already didn't get Capsaicin.#crk #cookie run kingdom #crk triple cone cup #triple cone cup

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vettely · 2 years ago

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#gonna rant for a bit #i thought the last i'm gonna see of him was at his father's funeral but somehow i ended up at his party last night #and dear god i got drunk and he got drunk and we ended up talking for like two hours #and he said to me in too many word that he always liked me and that he misses me at uni #and that he somehow still thinks about the things he said to me while we were second year bc he made me sad then #which is true #and he ended up saying so many things but i wish he hadn't #bc i'm gonna think about it for the rest of my life #and all of this was happening while his girlfriend was like not even 10 meters away from us #he also invited me to his other party which is in a month but i know i'm gonna get uninvited bc dear god that girl must hate me #and she probably hated me for years even when they were not together but she was into him #i just wish he got drunk enough to not remember some things i said #bc as usual i revealed too much and i overshared #oh god #i wanna see him again but i also don't #bc he is an idiot who HAS A GIRLFRIEND #i really thought i was over him lmaooooooooooo #isn't it funny how almost every time i talk about a guy here it's about the same one #anyway

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dangerliesbeforeyou · 2 years ago

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here's hoping i like the rest of the exist album more because i gotta tell u ... the pre-release tracks aint doing it for me lol...

#like ive been an exo fan for SO long (literally 10 yrs) and this is maybe the first time theyve released stuff #that i'm just kinda.. uninterested in???#like at least let me in felt like an exo winter track which i quite liked #but hear me out just feels ??? idk it doesnt feel like exo... the structure and even the bridge just feel lacklustre and kinda meh imo #and it makes me SAD because exo are literally one of my ult fav groups EVER and it's been 2 years and it's just disappointing...#idk... idk what the title track is gonna be (since both of these are prereleases which is odd lol) but hoping it'll grab me more...#personal #and even the mvs feel kinda dull?? like idk... i'm still hopeful that there will b songs on the album i like but i'm just kinda sad atm

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