#and them dying is in fact an extension of that tragedy

[the-catboy-minyan]

idk I'm literally on the verge of blocking everyone who's cheering for death in my feed. yes he was a terrorist, why tf are you cheering for death.

[cosettegf]

i love the penumbra podcast and i love second citadel and i really enjoyed listening to the finale but i feel. weird about the way this show treats its female characters???

[66sharkteeth]

Weekly thoughts!

Hooboy, the big episode! First off, I think everyone knows by now that you probably shouldn't read these if you haven't read the latest episode, but I ESPECIALLY mean that this week! Talking about some way bigger than usual spoilers.

Phew, this was a big one, both from a writing and drawing perspective. I actually spent a full day on that last panel alone, but writing it took way longer than usual too. Going back and forth between Bell's speech and Jericho's backstory played perfectly like a movie in my head, but it was really hard to portray it as a comic and it was one of the few times I was struggling with the limitations of the format. I think I pulled it off though, since everyone seemed to follow along fine! So while it was probably just a neat scene to everyone else, I'm rather proud of that haha.

As for the actual contents of the episode, I'm also glad everything hit w/ the majority of the audience for the most part. I know a handful were confused about if that was Bell or Jericho who did that, but to those people, I remind you it's been loooong established Jericho can control his extensions (Bell, Charlie, and Claude. Remember, they all took injections of Jericho's blank space?). Also on that note, Bell does not have her own scion... Only Rex and Jericho do. Bell, Charlie and Claude all took injections of Jericho's blank space, thus get to borrow some of his power. I recommend re-reading ep 80 if you need a refresher.

I do consider this ep kind of a big reveal of Jericho's true colors. I mean, you guys have known he's the main villain for ages now, but this is the ep that reveals his "better world for blanks" act is kind of a façade and what he's really seeking is a worse world for humans. The fall of humans benefitting blanks is just kind of a bonus. I'm glad a few people caught onto this with the fact that one of the worst horrors he experienced was having his autonomy taken away from him, then he proceeds to do just that to Bell.

And speaking of Jericho's horrors- Before this season launched, I dropped a bunch of hints about upcoming things. One of them was that the most disturbing scene (in my opinion) was coming up. I was actually referring to what happened to Kallie. I'm not sure if it was as disturbing to everyone else (I totally get like if Claude's leg thing fucked people up more), but being evaporated into nothingness but not dying was an existential dread that really fucks me up haha. If it fucked even a couple of other people up, then I did my job.

I don't have too much else to say about the contents of the episode. It was so hard to bite my tongue for weeks as everyone predicted pretty much every character but Desmond was gonna get it. I'm sorry I don't have too much else to say about him right now given what happened, but I definitely will in the upcoming weeks.

I guess the only other note I have is I might as well address something that bugs me slightly- It's definitely a minority but there's a handful of people who seem done with the series because "too many things go wrong." To which... I'm not sure what to tell ya. I'm fine with critique and criticism to be clear, but honestly, this is one thing I'm actually really confident I'm good at balancing. I'm not sure where people are coming from with "nothing good ever happens in this series" when this season alone has had probably the cutest and fluffiest scenes. Rex has a canon girlfriend, he had his first kiss with her, Desmond was reunited with his sister and learned to accept himself, Lyss learned to move past her trauma and accept blanks, Rex was reunited with Shnee, Rex's scion turns out to be a puppy dog w/ a crush. I'm aware a lot of these got kind of crushed with this latest ep...but that's.. kind of. the. point??? That's how you write tragedy and impactful scenes??

I dunno, maybe this is personal to me because it's ALWAYS bugged me when someone tells me they think a show is bad because it's "too dark." Like no... It's not *bad* because it's too dark, you just don't like dark themes, and that's okay. I TOTALLY get if CoB has gotten too dark for some people- it's definitely hit some hard themes and subjects, but I don't like to accept that as a critique. It just means it's not for you and that's okay. There's a ton of other great comics that are more light-hearted! I think the TLDR of this is it will always annoy me when people say something is bad just because it's not their taste.

Now. That said... everyone is completely valid in their hate of Jericho. I, however, still love him.

[high-mackrels-musings]

Star Crossed Lovers: How Revenge of the Sith adapts Pyramus & Thisbe

*This is another adaptation of an essay I wrote on reddit found here

Back when I was in college I took a class on myths, and for my final essay of the class I was given the assignment to find and contrast an Ovid myth with another piece of media. Now, being who I am, I immediately tried to tie it to Star Wars. And I found a sort of comparison between the tragic tales of Anakin and Padme and Pyramus and Thisbe. The tragedy in their love is similar, but there are differences. And Lucas, and by extension Stover who wrote the novel, shows the influence from Ovid’s tale and manages to at the same time change the way the love story of Padme and Anakin is told. And the parallels were interesting enough for me to share my thoughts here.

Who are Pyramus and Thisbe?

For those who have read Shakespeare’s play Romeo and Juliet, the story of Pyramus and Thisbe ought to be familiar enough. Pyramus and Thisbe are two Babylonian youths whose families live next to one another and utterly despise one another. This of course puts the two at odds with their feelings. Pyramus and Thisbe both love each other. And they manage to find some refuge by speaking to one another through a small gap in the walls, “In the common wall that ran between their houses, there was a narrow cleft made by the builders and unnoticed since. Love misses nothing!” One should note the way then that the love of Pyramus and Thisbe is portrayed by Ovid. There is a sense of the purity of love.

Unlike many of his other stories within Metamorphoses, there is no focus on grotesque violence. Rather the true tragedy of “Pyramus and Thisbe” comes from the way others prevent their love. Because their parents refuse to allow them to be together Pyramus and Thisbe resolve to run away together. They both agree to meet under a mulberry tree, but unfortunately, when Thisbe arrives, she sees a lioness and flees leaving behind her veil for Pyramus to later find bloodied by the lion’s jaws. He believes that the lioness has eaten her. The misinterpretation of symbols, as Pyramus, stumbles upon the bloodied cloak. And he says, “On this one night, two lovers come to grief! For she, far more than I, deserved long life!” Lost in grief he strikes himself down plunging his sword through himself. And in doing so effectively dooms Thisbe who arrives later to see her dying lover. She too takes her own life, but not before begging the gods for their sacrifice to be heard, “And may our wretched parents, mine and yours be moved by this petition to allow joined in the same last hour by unwavering love, to lie together in a single tomb.”. And their prayers are heard, which shows Ovid’s overreaching theme of the legacy of love. Pyramus and Thisbe’s love lives on as their ashes are shared in the same urn, and the gods change the color of the mulberry berries to red.

How This Relates to Star Wars?

So, one may see in fact the parallels here between Anakin, Padme, Pyramus, and Thisbe. The idea of two lovers who desperately want to be together. Anakin and Padme are both forbidden to be together, as Jedi are prohibited from being married, Ki-Adi Mundi aside, Like Pyramus and Thisbe both have had to hide their brief moments of love. And both resolve to run away together, as seen in the Revenge of the Sith novel. So, if the bare-bones structure is there how do they differ?

One must keep in mind that both are tragedies. But the way these tragic moments manifest come in a different way. Instead of a bloody veil in a lioness’s jaws, Anakin receives visions of the impending death of his beloved. These visions haunt Anakin. The love between the pair can hardly be said to be healthy. Anakin has feared the loss of his loved ones since the death of his mother saying in Attack of the Clones, “Well, I should be! Someday I will be. I will be the most powerful Jedi ever. I promise you. I will even learn to stop people from dying!” And in the Revenge of the Sith novel Anakin’s fears are described as a sleeping dragon that haunts him, “That is the kind of fear that lives inside Anakin Skywalker: the dragon of that dead star. It is an ancient, cold dead voice within his heart that whispers all things die …” His jealousy is also present in the novel as we see how he greets Padme and believes there is another in her life, “He took her by the shoulders now, his hands hard and irresistibly powerful. ‘There’s someone else. I can feel it in the Force! There is someone coming between us-” This is a further sign of his unhealthy love, and Lucas and Stover show this love which contrasts the tale of Pyramus and Thisbe.

Anakin is resolved to not allow Padme to die. And in a desperate search for power, he turns to a false promise, and he transforms into Darth Vader. Unlike Pyramus who literally kills himself Anakin’s death is a metaphorical one. Gone is the Jedi Knight Anakin skywalker replaced by the Sith Lord Darth Vader. And this effectively kills Padme who when she learns that all the terrible things he’s done say to him, “I don’t know you anymore. Anakin you’re breaking my heart.” And of course, Padme later dies having lost her will to live. Thus, while Anakin did not kill himself directly as did Pyramus. The death of his identity as Anakin and transformation into Darth Vader does kill Padme.

So How Are They Similar?

So, while we have seen how Lucas and Stover show the difference in the love story, and the parallels of the bloody veil and Anakin’s dreams, one might be inclined to ask how then they are similar?

Thisbe herself pleads to the gods that their love is remembered, and her desire is granted as the Gods allow for the mulberry tree’s berries to forever be stained red for the blood they shed beneath the tree. Revenge of the Sith also reveals to us that there is a legacy in the love of Padme and Anakin. The film ends by showing us the scene of Luke and Leia, the children of Anakin and Padme, being split into two separate families so that one day they too will take up the mantle. And Stover’s novel ends with the words, “The dark is generous, and it is patient, and it always wins- but in the heart of its strength lies weakness: one lone candle is enough to hold it back. Love is more than a candle. Love can ignite the stars.” And it will be so as Luke and Leia will go on to save the galaxy. And their children would go on to protect it, and their descendants would do the same. Love in both stories has a legacy that would be felt after their deaths within the Legends continuity.

Conclusion:

While I cannot say with any authority that Lucas or Stover have ever read Pyramus and Thisbe, the influence of the text is still felt in this work. And one can see how Star Wars has positioned itself into a new form of mythology that may inform us, and do its best to teach us the lessons. The simple love story changed into something more complex about the nature of love and jealousy. And that is an important lesson which can be taken away. And this entire exercise was a fun way to interact with my favorite fictional series in a more academic setting.

[so-i-grudgingly-joined-this-site]

Signs of Life:

 Season of Mists, “Augustus,” and a Hopeful Interpretation of The Sandman

In my previous essay, “I tried so hard, and got so far, but in the end, it didn’t even matter”: The Awkward Meta-Tragedy of Neil Gaiman’s The Sandman, I discussed the issues with the common fandom interpretation of The Sandman’s ending as both a tragedy and a suicide.  I highly recommend you read that before this, if you haven’t already, as this is mostly an extension of that essay. 

Near the end of that work, I mentioned how, in searching for an interpretation of the ending that could be construed as hopeful rather than incredibly pessimistic, I came across a significant amount of evidence in the volume Season of Mists.  Quite a bit of this “evidence” I’ve usually seen used by fans to construe Morpheus’ actions as an intentional elaborate suicide, claiming that he was in fact orchestrating his own demise as far back as at least this volume.  However, I believe that it is also entirely possible to construe these same events as showing that he was NOT planning a suicide.

In this essay, I will go over each piece of evidence I collected, and how I believe it can be interpreted in alternate ways.

[Continued under the cut; Google Drive link provided for clearer formatting, but the rest of the text, in tumblr's awkward block form, is also posted after]

[Read properly formatted version on google drive HERE]

It is in Season of Mists that Morpheus first goes back to check on Daniel Hall, for the first time after warning Daniel’s mother Lyta that he will return one day to collect the child for unspecified purposes.  What purposes those are remain a mystery at that point; those who support the suicide interpretation insist that he planned for Daniel to be his successor upon his suicide.  I think this visit makes clear that Morpheus did intend for Daniel to be his successor, but not necessarily specifically for a suicide attempt.  In Season of Mists, Morpheus goes to visit Daniel after explaining to his subjects that he fears he may not survive his attempt to rescue Nada from Hell. 

Since it is repeatedly emphasized just how dangerous he believes the rescue mission to be, especially after pissing off Lucifer the last time they met, it seems just as clear to me that Morpheus might want to have a successor lined up in general.  He saw how horrible things got when he was captured and there was nobody in charge of the Dreaming; having a second in line is just the responsible thing to do.  It doesn’t mean he was specifically planning his death, he could just have been planning what could happen in case of his death.  There is a difference.  Likewise, Morpheus also briefly visits Hob to potentially say goodbye before the trip to Hell.  Once again, this emphasizes how dangerous he believes the mission to be, it doesn’t necessarily mean he’s planning on dying. 

Some especially pessimistic fans try to paint the Nada mission in general as Morpheus’ first suicide attempt, before the Kindly Ones plot succeeded, but I don’t think the Nada mission is quite as easy to construe as suicide.  The Kindly Ones plot had a certain intentional air about it; Morpheus knew that finally granting death to his son would provoke the deities in charge of blood debts and in the depths of his depression did little to avert what effects he knew would happen.  By contrast, he actually prepared to battle into Hell to save Nada, righting a wrong from long ago.  Though he expected to have to fight Lucifer, he actually made preparations to do so with clear intent for a successful mission, and made the point of preparing his subjects beforehand.  This is in contrast to the sudden slaughter from The Kindly Ones where he didn’t do anything to avert the furies’ rampage through the Dreaming until the only thing that could stop them was his own apparent death.

Likewise, Lucifer and his arc are important to how one might interpret Morpheus’ fate.  Alongside Destruction, Lucifer is the other example Morpheus has seen of a major universal figure deciding to finally quit the job that wears them down.  In their conversation, which Lucifer explicitly refers to during The Wake, he compares his situation to Dream’s.  Lucifer notes he was also fated to be stuck with his crappy job forever, assigned by a force greater than him that he couldn’t defy.  But then, he realized, he could quit after all.  He just kicked everyone out, closed up shop, and walked away. 

His choice to quit, and especially driving everyone out of Hell before doing so, causes a TON of issues, to put it mildly; Dream’s responsibility of solving them is one of the two main storylines of the arc, with the other being the Nada plot.  The fact that Lucifer’s sudden quit creates such problems, however, does not go unnoticed by Dream.  In a pessimistic interpretation, Morpheus takes this as a sign that he indeed can never quit, because doing so would create far too many problems for reality.  His sense of responsibility to the universe is arguably the “higher power” he believes forces him to do the job.  In an optimistic interpretation, though, it might simply convince Morpheus that he needs to be smarter about his retirement. 

After all, it was Lucifer’s lack of a clear successor that led to the whole ordeal of Dream having to assign someone new the key to Hell, and it was the fact that Lucifer kicked everyone out that caused chaos across the dimensions.  Perhaps Morpheus realized that the best way to quit might be to make sure there was somebody to take over for him, so that operation of the Dreaming could continue without interruption and without having to unleash any residents upon other dimensions.  He’d conveniently already prepared a successor in case anything should happen to him when confronting Lucifer!  Likewise, choosing a successor who is eager to actually do the job averts the frustration and angst he witnesses in the angels who end up having to take the key—God basically forces them to stay there; they aren’t fallen so much as shoved.

While we’re on the subject of other entities successfully quitting, Morpheus also took note of Destruction’s path.  At first glance, it seems he is as blind to Destruction’s successes as he is to Lucifer’s, only seeing him as behaving irresponsibly.  However, as I mentioned in my initial essay on the subject, it’s possible that, after his own quest to find his brother in Brief Lives, Morpheus simply realizes he needs to quit smarter.  If he can go pester his wayward brother, other entities could pester him.

Lucifer says that Morpheus has changed from when they met before.  Whether or not that means “changed enough to realize that he can change his lot in life” or “changed to feel so guilty and depressed over his condition that he now wants to die” is up in the air—or perhaps up to reader interpretation.

At the end of Season of Mists, Nada finally gets to confront Morpheus after being freed from her multiple-millennia-long imprisonment, and the reader finally gets to learn part of why Morpheus was so incredibly harsh in her punishment.  She not only refused Morpheus’ offer to become his immortal queen, but she’d counter-offered that he should become a mortal man to be her king.  Not only had she, a human, refused a request from an Endless, but in asking him to abandon his responsibilities she’d unknowingly asked what he’d probably considered the most insulting thing possible.  Now, having been freed, Nada points out that it’s been 10,000 years; he can still change his mind and leave the job that’s clearly wearing him down.  Morpheus insists he hasn’t changed—possibly even refuses to believe it’s possible—despite the very obvious evidence standing in front of him.  If he hadn’t changed, hadn’t realized his wrongdoings and taken action to correct them, Nada would still be rotting away in that cell!  Instead, he risked his life to free her!

Notably, right after this is when Morpheus cuts some sort of ambiguous deal with the illusion-god Loki.  Did he decide to die, contracting Loki then and there for the plot that would eventually incite Lyta to send The Kindly Ones after Morpheus?  Or, instead, did Morpheus employ a master of shape-changing and illusion to help facilitate an equally elaborate plot that would allow him to change while only appearing completely dead?

There also seems thematic significance to the new “redemptive” approach to Hell the angels take.  The sinners find the redemption more painful, difficult, and overall worse than just the punishment.  Perhaps it is because redemption is a change, it requires effort, while punishment requires no change.  Regarding Morpheus’ tendency to blame himself for so many problems in the universe (only a small percentage of which he’s caused), one is left to wonder if the finale is Morpheus punishing himself with death—or, if instead, he endures redemption and changes.  Does he take the easy way out—the coward’s way out, as suicide is sometimes (somewhat insensitively, depending on the circumstances) called—or take the challenge? 

The rewarding happy ending for the rest of the universe takes on a very different sheen depending on which view you choose.  Either it rewards the protagonist giving up, choosing suicide, and choosing mere punishment, or it rewards a change, however hidden from the rest of the characters, and choosing redemption.

Now, the following point I have to make is not from Season of Mists but instead the collection of short stories after it, Distant Mirrors/Fables and Reflections.  However, I was unsure where else to put this point, so I may as well include it here.

Much like the point I made about “Façade” in my previous essay, I believe “Augustus” is another odd, seemingly unconnected story that may have deeper meaning to the overall plot.  At first glance, the only connection to the greater lore seems to be confirming that Dream is sometimes confused for the Greco-Roman god Apollo, in a reference to Orpheus’ parentage in the original Greek myths.  However, at its core, “Augustus” is about a powerful, duty bound king (well, emperor) who suffers from hidden emotional pain, who has to plan an unorthodox way out of his situation without any divine figures finding out.  Sound like anyone else?  This could either be symbolic of Morpheus trying to plan his suicide before any of his loved ones could intervene, or it could be symbolic of his plan to fake his death (or, possibly, kill off only the part of him that is bound to his duties), thus leaving him free with nobody else to try and drag him back!

“Augustus” also includes the idea of two contradictory prophecy books that are both equally true until Augustus decides which book to act upon.  This theme actually reappears in the main plot near the end of The Sandman, with there being multiple Destinies—eventually narrowed down to two—who only whittle down to one once Morpheus’ fate is sealed.  This reinforces my suspicion that this short story is thematically significant.  The fact that Augustus succeeds in his own plot, asserting his own agency and defying the unjust divine will of his abusive uncle, suggests that Morpheus also succeeds in his plan.  What Morpheus’ plan is, of course, is once again up to the reader’s interpretation and optimism level.

There is one last potentially-overlooked point I would like to address.  Season of Mists concludes with what appears to be a quote from author G. K. Chesterton, upon whom Fiddler’s Green’s human form is based.  However, the book quoted does not actually exist; the notation states that it exists in the Library of Dreams, which holds every book both written and, in this case, unwritten.  This adds layers of meaning to the quote.  Neil Gaiman is not deciding to end the arc on a specific passage he found meaningful and relevant; rather, he specifically wrote the passage and the attribution in question.  It’s very carefully crafted.  The quote is as follows:

October knew, of course, that the action of turning a page, of ending a chapter or of shutting a book, did not end a tale.

Having admitted that, he would also avow that happy endings were never difficult to find: “It is simply a matter,” he explained to April, “of finding a sunny place in a garden, where the light is golden and the grass is soft, somewhere to rest, to stop reading, and to be content.”

         --G.K. Chesterton, The Man Who Was October

Hmm, what’s that about the ending of a book not necessarily being the ending of a tale?  Also, happy endings not being hard to find if you know where and how to look?

Of course the part about a sunny garden with soft grass is a reference to Fiddler’s Green’s landscape form too, but that’s going off-topic.

As I mentioned, the book “quoted” does not actually exist.  Upon searching, it seems that the title is a parody of the actual Chesterton work The Man Who was Thursday: a Nightmare (hey, look at that subtitle!).  Now, unfortunately, I am not currently familiar with Chesterton’s work and have not read this book.  A quick glance at the Wikipedia page, however, reveals some interesting, potentially relevant details.  It is very symbolic and dense…and there is apparently a debate over how pessimistic the book is supposed to be!  Apparently Chesterton himself attributed the work’s dark tone to the bout of depression he was suffering in college and later tried to explain a more positive spin on it, while at least one other analyst continued to insist it followed a pessimistic philosophy regardless of Chesterton’s later statements.  Gee, does that sound like any other literary works we know?  Like, perhaps, the very one this essay is interpreting?

That allusion may have ended up far more relevant than Gaiman ever intended.

Tagging those who might be interested: @serenityspiral @duckland @roguelov @ambercoloredfox @notallsandmen @lizajane2 @onehundredandeleventropicalfish

[superioritea-complex]

new ballets russes

ngl if i ever ended up with a ridiculous amount of money i'd probably found a ballet company, i'd wanna do something new and interesting like the ballets russes did back in the early 20th century- minus Diaghilev being a strange and quite frankly gross individual- I feel like so much of ballet has gotten repetitive, in the sense that we've focused to much on perfection we've forgotten that we are a performing art form- so often we get hung up on body proportions and things like hyper extension and body shape that we end up losing the emotion of the dance completely. I've recently watched dying swan- the og version with anna pavlova and now i can't help but feel newer versions are overly santized, like the concern is to look beautiful and not the real tragedy that is happening on stage. I think it's not only a disservice to audience members but to dancers as well as we are robbing them of developing their creative expression. That and it would also help with the fact that many ballets are quite frankly dated- for example the bolshoi black face scandal for their production of la bayadere (this happened in 2019 btw).

I would love to see a new fantastical adaptation with elaborate costumes, choreography, sets, and music- (bring back camp!!). Plus there are so many myths and cultural things to chose from a ballet could be done on Sappho's life, or on La Maupin (if you don't know who she is PLEASE look her up- she's unhinged and my hero), or even take from more myths like eros and psyche, or apollo and hyacinth, or a full length version of orpheus (i know balanchine did a short version with music by Stravinsky but imagine an entire set for the underworld- like fully fleshed out costumes for hades and persephone- it's actually a shame how minimalist balanchine's sets and costumes are given the inspo (bc they weren't originally!!- look at old apollo costumes vs the more recent ones- like bro HOW did we get here???) or we could start adapting Dostoevskyballet and Kafka like we've been adapting Shakespear (METAMORPHASIS BALLET GUYS- I MEAN COME. ON.) and these are just the ones off the top of my head.

I think now would be a good time to reinvigorate the artform especially with increased interest due to the overall ballet core trend- it could be a great way to bring in more people not only as those who take classes but also as viewers. Also ballet company's have shitty marketing- ofc if you only push the nutcracker for the entire year then you're only going to get people to watch the nutcracker and your other repertoire is gonna flop. duh. By investing a bit in marketing instead of lining the artistic director's pockets (be so fr do u really need a second vacation home?) the company would be more successful overall-( more people to come in and see shows, more artistic outreach, more outreach means more tickets means more money so hopefully better conditions for the dancers, etc. etc.)

tldr. people only say ballet is boring bc y'all have made ballet boring, the lack of artistic expression, lack of new creative sets and costumes, elitism, racism, homophobia, etc. etc. etc. are what have made people less engaged with the art form over the years NOT the actual style of dance itself.

[thisbuildinghasfeelings]

Weighing facts: we know for a fact now that the tragedy has an impact on Carlos. We know Roxana Brusso is present at the wedding but Benito Martinez's name is not visible on the call sheet. I'd expect it to be next to her's. We know Carlos is wearing Gabriel's ring. Weighing up possible foreshadowing: Max asking Rafa questions about Gabriel seemed telling to me. And everything to do with Gabriel has been ominous or poignant this season. 'He's lucky to have you/ Yeah you too', and Carlos having more of a reunion with Gabriel than TK. Carlos opening up to his mom about how he feels about fatherhood because of Gabriel and their relationship only being ok recently. Then Owen and Gabriel cementing their own family bond in last week's episode. Everything points to Gabriel dying I'm sorry to say. I agree with everything you'd said about why it wouldn't make sense and would be way too rushed, but I'm sure they're going to do it anyway for the drama, even when they'll have plenty more going on with Robert/Owen and Judd and Grace.

Ok, I'm not going to deny it looks bad when you put everything together like that and look at it from a certain perspective. But I'm still holding on to hope! I will now counter each point.

First, the call sheet: We're seeing only a portion of a call sheet. We don't even necessarily know the purpose behind the list of names because it seems very incomplete. It's not like every single wedding guest was listed except Gabriel. Also, Roxana's name does not have a report time next to it. The only names with report times are the members of the Strand family. I don't think we need to read anything into his name being absent from this particular call sheet.

Carlos wearing Gabriel's ring: There is a sad explanation for this--Gabriel died and Carlos inherited the ring. But there's also a happy explanation for this--Gabriel gave Carlos the ring to wear for the wedding. Also, Rafa is clearly hiding his left hand in that picture to hide the wedding ring. If Gabriel dying was the huge surprise tragedy of the finale, wouldn't he have also tried to hide Gabriel's ring?

Max asking Rafa questions about Gabriel: There's no way Max has seen the finale yet or has any information regarding the fate of Gabriel. He probably asked questions about Gabriel because Gabriel was in the last episode. Also, the storyline from episode 12 was a major Carlos storyline and Carlos' reasoning behind not feeling ready to have kids was pretty tied to Gabriel. I don't think there's cause to read anything into the meaning behind Max's questions.

Poignant Gabriel storylines: I don't think anything here has to be foreshadowing death. A lot of this season has been about developing Carlos' backstory and his relationship with family. The poignant Gabriel moments have been along that line. There have also been very poignant moments with Carlos and Andrea. (Also between TK and Owen!) Carlos is clearly rebuilding his relationship with his parents. If anything, the comment made to Andrea in episode 12 shows more work to be done on that rebuilding between Carlos and Gabriel. In my opinion, that indicates possible future Carlos/Gabriel storylines, or a nice moment like Gabriel giving Carlos his ring for the wedding. To me, none of this is inevitably foreshadowing Gabriel's death.

Owen and Gabriel cementing their family bond: I don't see why this would necessarily be foreshadowing Gabriel's death. If anything, it indicates the opposite to me. The Reyes family and the Strand family coming together as one is lovely and does not have to mean one of them is dying.

It could happen. I'm not denying that. I just don't think it will, and I certainly don't think it's inevitable based on what we've seen. It doesn't feel right to me. If I'm wrong, I will file away this post along with the detailed post I made the day before the premiere extensively listing all the reasons why Carlos couldn't possibly be married to Iris. But until then, I'm going to keep the hope alive!

[tewwor]

* & VERSE MASTERLIST — EUN .

Full descriptions under the readmore.

apocalyptic variations

royalty

forest spirit

hunter

crime / witch

APOCALYPTIC VARIATIONS — SURVIVAL OF THE WEARY .  

** NOTE: this verse can be melded to just about any apocalyptic scene regardless of fandom. There might be a few tweaks here and there for specific details, but the following will typically remain the same:

Eun is primarily categorized as a survivalist. Given his already extensive background of wildlife ( both animals and plants ) and geography, he’s extremely adept in recognizing dangers, shelter, etc. 

Tough as the world may have become, Eun still carries on with hope. True, it might be an uphill battle to cling to such an aspiration, but that’s his burden to bear while trying his damndest to uplift morale. 

There’s a 90% chance he’s looking for his brother as a goal. 

Still quite the pacifist, but there’s more understanding that the world has only gotten crueler. Thus, he allows himself to pull out all the stops to deal with unsavory situations accordingly. He’s proficient in close combat, mid skill with blades and guns.

ROYALTY.  

*** NOTE: This verse is shared among both brothers and differs on what information was restricted from Chanyeol. Their demeanor also remains true to their main verse.

Eun’s top priority has always revolved around Chanyeol’s safety from day one, as he was unable to deny the knowledge that his brother bore royal blood.

This resolve even extended to the threat made by his step-father, the king, once Chanyeol’s existence was made known decades later. Eun took it upon himself to ensure that no harm would come Chanyeol’s way even if that meant dealing with the assassination attempts on his own.

With the help of others ( that he toes the line of being indebted to ), word spread of ‘the tragedy’ that was the king’s death. Although the heinous act was orchestrated by none other than himself, Eun acted none the wiser to everyone — even Chanyeol. 

He had high hopes that the dabbling in royal affairs would stop there, but his brother decided to make it known that there was, in fact, an heir to the throne. Thus, Eun refuses to let another serve as the crown prince’s retainer and keeps a very close eye on anyone that attempts to get close to Chanyeol.

FOREST SPIRIT .

The time reads 7:21 PM and the sun finally rests her weary head. Blood orange apricot starbursts across distant ridges until the entire sky’s stained a rotten plum. Beneath such calamity lies the ruin of cinders and soot and incomplete hope. 

Eun dies where he loved most. Out in the woods, in this national park, he’s grown to cherish as his own home. He dies doing what he loved most. Keeping others from harm’s way, saving them to continue on with their life. 

On occasion, you’ll hear a jolly tune weave through the spindly tree top and beneath dappled spots of sun. Wait long enough and you’ll see him. A man with mopish hair, geared in uniform and likely inspecting some flora or another. Greet him and you’ll be met with overflowing amiability. A kind smile shines and reminds you of a friend from distant past, a deeply liked relative of lost contact — someone close and familiar and trusting. 

Start conversation with him and you’ll learn clusters of aureate wisdom of the world around you. If you’re lost and in need of help, he’ll be the first to help guide your wary steps to the forest’s edge. Yet no matter how comfortable this genial man might be..  You can’t dismiss the unease. A sense of danger that flutters deep within you, but unable to pinpoint why.

Always disappears without a word before sunset, but don’t be foolish enough to think that you’re alone. A man of dying embers and acrid winds come into view as the horizon splashes red.

Essentially, Eun’s a friendly spirit that helps lost travelers during the day. At night, he busts into this fiery thing that seeks to upkeep the forest’s best interest & health. And if that means he needs to dispose of the souls that harm it.. Then so be it. 

HUNTER .  

When Eun moved across the states, he honestly thought that he was going to continue his mundane, yet modest, life. Except the longer he worked as a forest ranger.. the more odd things got. At first it wasn't much to shake him. Faint figures in the thickets, something that sounded like a whisper that the dry winds carried... it was all easy to ignore. That was until he came across something he simply couldn't come to terms with.

There had been reports of a few missing hikers. It wasn't uncommon until the bodies were found weeks later; all disemboweled and ruined beyond recognition. Everyone chalked it up to an unfortunate animal attack, but something bugged him about the way his fellow rangers treated the accidents. They seemed to be neutral with the occurrences- too neutral. Of course, he assumed it had to do with how long they've been on duty, but that feeling stuck with him.

It'd been by pure chance that he came across the source of it all. Eun had been making his usual rounds when he felt something off. The complete lack of bird calls, how heavy the air suddenly felt and the lightest crunch of needles underneath careful feet. He had all but stopped where he was; hand already on the buckle of his sheathed knife just in case.

Then the growling started.

It wasn't the typical sound of a coyote or wolf, mind you. It was deeper, more guttural than anything he had come across. Slowly, he turned in an attempt to spot the creature, but all he saw was a sudden blur; much too close to add up with the distance he had assumed the being to be at. Eun had tensed in expectation to feel pain, but all that happened was the loud crack of a gun. An ungodly screech followed suit, and he was left unscathed. Confused, he opened his eyes and saw that two other rangers were in the distance- both of which were grim faced. The body of the creature was dealt with while they filled him in on what just happened. They had hoped that he wouldn't come across the others during his time here, but it was practically unavoidable at this point. Once a person sees them, they're forever changed.

From that point on, Eun was trained to seek and deal with the otherworldly that lurked within the great reserve. Decades passed before he decided to retire and move back to his hometown in order to look after his sickly mother. After her passing, he was left to his own devices once more. And while his skills and senses are still just as sharp, Eun isn't too keen on hunting things that don't cause direct trouble.

CRIME / WITCH — BLOSSOMS FROM BLOOD . 

tw: buried alive

Eun was born to a couple that never had the intention of marrying. And while that was a mutual agreement, no one had expected his father to just up and leave a few days after he was born. Only in her early twenties, his mother did her best to raise him on her own. Naturally, there were a lot of ups and downs throughout his childhood and early teens, but they both loved each other at the end of the day.

His mother fell in love with another man 12 years later, and this time they saw things through completely. Wedded after a handful of months and out came his little brother, Chanyeol; loud as the trumpets blasting on high. Barely settled in his young adolescence, Eun knew the importance of family. Had it ingrained that the Hans take care of their own no matter the cost — they only had themselves to rely on, after all.

So it only made sense how Eun took it to heart when he stumbled upon his step-father’s whispers of adulatory. He, of course, made sure to get concrete evidence while a decision formed piece by piece.

Passive, aggressive, unknowing.

It’d only been a year since his mother’s remarriage. Only a single year, and the honeymoon phase was slit from the back. Deep seated rage began to boil the longer he ghosted his step-father’s footsteps. Higher and higher the anger simmered until it came to an abrupt halt. Once a close call where his mother almost found out was all it took for Eun to finally take action.

Clever was he to practice personalized script and leave a neatly folded note at the kitchen table. One last shred of that foul man’s presence before disappearing forever. Not of his own violation, though. Of course not. But it didn’t matter the moment he asked his step-father to come out back. *** tw: buried alive start *** The fireflies look especially bright tonight— come look and see. Watch as the ground gives way beneath your feet without a moment’s notice. Witness how the silver moon slims into a pinprick when dirt and clay and root and rubble swallow the rest of your days. Understand the mistakes of your actions as the world turns without pause, unbothered by your absence. *** tw: buried alive end ***

Now a family of three, Eun continued to watch over his family. He worked his ass off throughout the rest of his youth to help burden some of the financial weight. Took up whatever odd job he could when he wasn’t legal to work— even past then when he was of age. It was hard to balance his life, lend a shoulder for their mother to lean on, and be a father/brother figure to Chanyeol. Yet he never gave up and always pulled through to the best of his abilities. Even as his brother wrapped himself in danger, found a little too much comfort and joy the deeper he descended.

So he, too, descended after their mother succumbed to sickness. He has to keep an eye on the remaining members of his family — even if that means climbing the ranks for power and perfect the disappearance of those missing; somewhere deep where light never reaches.

[mari-monsta]

hi i just want to say it's such a pleasure to follow you bc youre so right about stuff all the time. love the way you think about characters and narratives and themes etc. unrelated but I listened to hadestown again today and if you have literally anything else to say about ml/hadestown crossover i am ALL ears but i am all ears whenever you speak regardless xoxo

HEHE THANK YOU it was an absolute PLEASURE to receive this ask yesterday morning and I treasured it and saved it to answer until now because i was busy watching lil nas x twerk on stage yesterday and also working

ANYWAY this is high praise and it always makes me SO happy to hear people like my character interpretations and my blorbo ramblings. Please note I am sending this to my friends to tell them that I have proof i am so right about stuff all the time :) thank you for enabling my blorbo illness. I would also like you to know that I love ur thoughts and reactions to things in ur tags and also ur content is so immaculate 🙇🙇

OKAY SO I have SO MUCH thoughts i am dying to share them maybe I will use a cut now for people who don't want to hear me talk extensively about hades town but HERE WE GO

So first of all Gabriel agreste has to be hades. The Control the trying to keep his loved ones under his thumb the fear his Need to know that the rug won't be pulled out from under him. His desperate attempts to bring the love of his life back into his arms but subsequently pushing her father and father away. I Do Not Know how you have Adrien be Orpheus or Eurydice with his as Hades but it has to be like this it just has to!!!

Then for Adrien and Marinette being Orpheus and Eurydice I just its so HARD because they're both like nothing alike either of the characters but at the same time their failings and fears and stuff are all the same??? The inherent tragedy of it all. it BLEEDS love square i just couldn't let it leave me alone even though it doesn't quite fit.

Now the reason I have SUCH a hard time assigning them one role or another is this. Clearly Marinette generally more closely resembles Eurydice upon first glance because of the way she guards her heart and her hesitance to commit. Marinette is much more likely to be the one whos turned cynical and jaded against the world as they are in canon now. She's been canonically less likely to think to believing in the inherent good in people like adrien and also Orpheus seems to.

Adrien in turn fits Orpheus as an inherent romantic and loyal to a fault. Naïve and captivating in a way that you truly believe he believes in the possibility of the world to be good and good things to be manifested from it. Adrien has that easily captivating side of him and its easy to imagine him singing songs that move everyone.

However, despite the fact it's not always her first instinct, Marinette has been more than shown to have the power of captivating people like this.

This is where I get stuck too, because I cannot see Adrien EVER turning a blind eye to Marinette in her time of need the way Orpheus does. Now, I 100% believe it wasn't his fault and that he had no idea. But I just CANT see Adrien ever getting sucked into his work so thoroughly that he wouldn't be able to realize Marinette was crying out for help to him.

DO you know who does do that though? That's right. Marinette does. Marinette is canonically a creative type that can easily get so sucked into her duties and her efforts in protecting everyone that she loves she subsequently pushes them all away and neglects them in the process. Like I said though I'm not blaming either character for this I'm just stating their similarities. Marinette also cares to a fault but very differently than Adrien does.

And do you know who's been known to lay down and die about it when he thinks there's no hope? That's right. It's Adrien. Something something the tracks chant to songbird are basically kuroneko something something I hope you understand because otherwise I'll sound insane.

THEN we have the second act. This is where everything is turned on its head. Eurydice has signed her life away to Hades and Orpheus thus begins to question all his faith in humanity and the inherent goodness of the world, the betrayal breaks him. Now I think this works just fine for either Marinette or Adrien. But it's the climax, where Orpheus is leading them all back to the mortal world and has Eurydice and the workers following behind. As much as Adrien has the capability to believe in the good in others and sometimes inspire it, he's never had quite the leadership capabilities that Marinette does.

If ANYONE would be leading a revolt against the cruelties of the world instead of laying down and taking it it would be Marinette for sure. And if anyone would follow her through hell and back to help her do it it would be Adrien. But Marinette doubts. She doubts so much. Such a big part of the reason Marinette started pushing Chat Noir away during season 4 was that she was afraid of him. Afraid of leading him astray and having him leave her first, so she pushed him away before he could do it. But he was never going to leave her, and he proved that all along. He'd always believe in her and be on her side no matter what mistakes she made along the way. The only thing he doubts in her is her care for HIM. So Marinette is 100% the one who'd be so strong as to be able to walk through hell and back all alone. All alone until she gets to the very end because she doesn't think her kitty has been behind her all along, and is shocked and overjoyed to find him right at her back as always.

Definitely it could go the other way too but.... HNGNNGNGH season 4 narratives,......

Anyway edrklemsdlkvmeklmrfe I hope you don't mind the long rant too much I don't know if you expected me to dump like 7 paragraphs on you i hope you enjoy???

[atwistedtalehq]

CHARACTER NAME: lestat de lioncourt CHARACTER FACECLAIM: cody fern CHARACTER AGE/DOB (if from enchanted forest, general age okay): november 7th 1882 / changed august 18th 1903 CHARACTER PRONOUNS/GENDER IDENTITY/SEXUALITY ETC: he/they, bisexual/romantic/polyam CHARACTER FANDOM: the vampire chronicles / merged into ouat monsterland OC OR CANON: canon WHICH LAND ARE THEY FROM (examples: earth, enchanted forest, wonderland, monsterland [frankenstein, dracula, vamps etc], neverland): monsterland CHARACTER BIOGRAPHY: lestat was the youngest of three sons– five other children having not survived childhood. as the youngest child, lestat stood to inherit no lands or fortunes. as such, lestat set about forging his own path in life. from 12, he began education in a monastery and decided he would enter the order as a brother when the time came. however, this was opposed to his father and brother’s ideas, and they proceeded to pull him from his education.

another attempt at building his own life came around the age of 16, when lestat disappeared with a travelling group of actors. he fell in love with performing. however, it didn’t last long. as days later he woke up to the actors gone and his brothers to take him home.

it isn’t until his twentieth year that lestat finally finds true freedom. he meets and befriends and violinist named nicholas, and upon his mother’s insistence that lestat know freedom, he travels with nicolas.

here, he gains a job as a backstage assistant in a theatre, while later being offered a shot at going on stage and becoming a professional actor. however, it is not long into this that something drastic happens. a change lestat was wholly unprepared for, when a man named magnus enters his life.

magnus kidnaps lestat and very soon after, he is made into a vampire. however, his maker quickly commits suicide and lestat is left to grapple with eternity on his own, adapting to his new life. however, as magnus’ only fledgling, he inherits all his wealth. and so, lestat buys the theatre he used to perform at, but tends to avoid contact with the human world he was once a part of, including nicholas.

in fact, it is during this time that lestat first gets a glimpse at other worlds: a mistake one night, leaving him falling through a portal to another world.

earth.

and somehow, later, others from his life back home come through and connect with him: his mother being one of these.

it isn’t until a while later that lestat’s mother, gabrielle, arrives in paris, dying, that a further change occurs in lestat: he forges his own first fledgling, changing his mother into a vampire to save her.

for months, they travel and live together, eventually taking in nicki and changing him too. many different events occur over this time, including lestat meeting and coming to know of armand and then by extension, marius. inevitably, this leads to lestat being fed some of marius’ ancient blood to regain his strength after burying himself in the ground for a time after his mother leaves him.

shortly after meeting marius, he takes him to see those who must be kept – akasha and enkil, the first vampires and rulers of their kind who appear as living statues. marius explains then how vampires came to being, and the next night, when lestat is alone, he visits akasha and enkil to try and wake them inspite of marius’ warnings against this.

his plan actually works, and akasha allows lestat to drink her blood as she drinks his. that is until enkil awakens in a jealous rage and attacks lestat. thankfully, lestat is saved by marius. marius then tells lestat to leave the island and although reluctant, lestat agrees. and this… is where he comes to new orleans. and meets louis de pointe de lac.

from here, the events unfold as is known: lestat, louis and later claudia spend some 60 years together, before going their separate ways. their time together is beautiful, but clouded with tragedy and pain.

over the years, there are a couple of occasions where lestat and louis reunite, but never for very long. perhaps… that is due to change.

especially now lestat is drawn back to storybrooke, a place where he can practically feel the magic coming through.

OOC INFORMATION: 

MUN NAME/ALIAS: alex

MUN AGE: 28

MUN PRONOUNS: he/him or they/them

[marwankenzarisgaylittleearring]

“I’d like to end up as a tree”

Marwan kenzari (31) won a gold calf last year for his role in the movie Wolf. As of next week he is to be seen in Bloedlink (/reckless), opening’s act of the Dutch film festival. “It’s not my place to say I’m good.”

Bloedlink

“Acting offers the chance to become well acquainted with the complexities of being human. The Moroccan kick-boxer Majid in the movie Wolf had a fascinating interior life. His character was even easier to understand when he said nothing at all - I don’t think I’ve ever had as little lines in a movie. Rico in Bloedlink is completely different. He accidentally finds himself swept up in criminal business, but he’s actually just someone who’s had a whole slew of bad luck. In the movie his character undergoes a few very surprising U-turns. In my portrayal of him, I interpret all those different sides as honest, I find that interesting. In the movie, Rico does some paradoxical things, but he means all of them. Of course that’s simply not possible. That’s what makes him fascinating and tragic.”

Journey

“If I’m a good actor? That’s not my place to say. Sometimes you do the most interesting things you think are worthless in the moment. A movie is a collaborative journey, which, in the case of Wolf, I underwent with director Jim Taihuttu among others. Although I secretly did think during shooting: this will be fun. Wolf is an honest movie. The kick-boxing, the hits to the body, very little of that is pretend. Not that everything should be real in a movie, but this story required that. At a certain point I felt: this could be something really fresh in Dutch cinema. And it was.”

Peanut Butter

“Ever since that role, which I trained for quite extensively, I’ve found it increasingly important to stay in shape. It wasn’t a complete transformation; even beforehand I would exercise six times a week. But now I’m slightly addicted, yeah. It makes you mentally stronger, too. If I’ve been training on a Sunday at 7 am and then at 8 am I’m outside again, showered, refreshed and in shape while the rest of the city’s asleep, I’m 1-0 ahead. Scratch that: 10-0. I pay attention to my nutrition as well. Bread for example gives false energy. But I’m not always so strict. I get plenty of enjoyment from a good, white slice of bread with calvé peanut butter. And then fold it over, don’t cut it! You shouldn’t cut a sandwich, everyone knows that. Then you miss the first bite.”

Toneelgroep Amsterdam

“After the acting academy in Maastricht I was immediately invited to Toneelgroep Amsterdam. I was with them for three years, but found my attentions pulled towards film during that period. When the actors from TGA are - rightfully - expected to be fully available. We “broke up”, though that sounds too serious, with full, mutual agreement. I see the company as family and will be playing in Angels in America at the end of the month, in New York. Director Ivo van Hove has been very important for my development. I admire his knowing exactly what he wants, but also his ability to be unsure and searching, and to be able to be vulnerable about that. But I have to be fair to myself. I’m 31 now, and these are my most important years in film. While I hope to be an even better stage-actor when I’m fifty. I’m slightly further ahead in film than on stage. That development is tougher, needs more time and possibly total dedication. Stage is the motor in the actor’s car; film is a different muscle. But if Ivo calls me in two, or ten or forty years, he’ll be the first stage director I’ll say yes to.”

Pierre Bokma

“As the son of Tunisian parents in the Hague painters-quarter I didn’t come into automatic contact with theatre. As a kid I was mostly interested in football, the emotion you see on a player’s face when he scores - fantastic. At a certain point I realised that movies can affect you the same way, even though you know it’s fake. That’s the magic of acting. Through contacts I ended up with De Nieuwe Amsterdam, an in-between theatre course for teens for whom the leap to theatre school was perhaps a bit too big. I learned everything there: playwrights, Dutch actors, repertoire. You’re also taught which acting schools exist. And I thought: where did Pierre Bokma go to school? And Fedja van Huêt? That was Maastricht. It also appealed to me that they implemented Bijltjesdag: you might still be sent away halfway through the first year. I decided: if I’m going for this uncertain profession, maybe the best trial by fire will be going to a school where you aren’t sure if you’ll be allowed to stay. I was allowed, in the end. At the theatre academy I came into contact with art, philosophy, poetry. All of that was new. But it didn’t feel as if I was behind, I only saw it as a fantastic source of riches; as if I could try on all sorts of new glasses.”

Huntersfamily

“I never thought that this path wasn’t laid out for me, I just always let myself be lead by my passion and my dreams. My parents are happy for me; I have a good connection with both. My father is an amazing person - an accumulation of beautiful ingredients. He’s honest with himself, doesn’t spare himself and laughs a lot, that’s important to me. He might be made out of simple components, he’s from a huntersfamily, but for me these are the components that build a strong character. My dad can tell beautiful stories, about his life in Tunisia, about his old friends who aren’t with us anymore. Every year death takes someone new, and in that way a beautiful group of people slowly disappears, the protagonists of a generation. One lives close to the elements there, I find that fascinating. It’s so different to our life here. I’ll also never interrupt my dad when he starts on a story like that. Even if I’ve heard it before.”

Vampire

“I’ve always said: I want to play a woman, a vampire, a Moroccan kick-boxer. I’ve succeeded in doing the last one. A vampire is a wonderful character. The beauty of their faces, the sensuality, the tragedy of never going outside during the day, and of course their never ageing; never dying, in fact. I’d like to never die. When I was a kid, I suffered a lot of nightmares. About falling and never landing. I had a hard time in the dream world, I wasn’t a big fan of night. It was, I think, a sort of inexplicable fear of dying. At a certain moment I grew familiar with those dreams, figured out how to influence them. I could for all intents and purposes check-out whenever it became scary. I became the director of my own dream world. When I was twelve, I fell in love, and then I was over it. I still have nightmares, like everyone else, but now I find them fascinating instead of threatening. Beautiful how your mind can make a story out of all sorts of ingredients. Sometimes I call my mother to talk about what a dream might mean. For example, I recently dreamt about my grandmother. ‘She thinks about you and loves you,’ my mother says.”

Tree

“I still know fear and uncertainty, but they don’t hinder me anymore. They’re two trusted companions now, who walk with me. They keep me sharp and hungry, and in a good way, they keep me on my toes. As long as they don’t hold me back, they can be here. Fear of dying is now simply fear of no longer living. If a way to live until you’re 377 is discovered tomorrow, I’ll be the first to sign up. I’d like to end up as a tree. Then you only need to have a care for wind, rain and sun.”

[robininthelabyrinth]

anything with jin zixuan marrying into the jiang sect, instead of jiang yanli marrying out?

ao3

It wasn’t that Jin Zixuan didn’t love his mother – he did, he truly did. He loved her, he supported her, he stood by her side in every argument. He would do anything within his power to help her get everything that she wanted.

It was only that he took a very reasonable look at the circumstances and realized he couldn’t. He couldn’t get her the one thing she’d always counted for.

He couldn’t win the right of succession to be Sect Leader Jin.

Maybe if his mother had managed to stop his father from bringing home all his bastards – there were nineteen of them, all together, and those were just the ones that were willing to admit it so who even knew – he might’ve had a better chance, given that he was after all the sole legitimate son. But legitimacy only took you so far: he was neither the oldest of the children, nor the most capable, nor the most cunning. He wasn’t even the best connected, despite his maternal family’s support; that honor went to another one of his siblings, born to an especially well-connected family through unspecified circumstances that might or might not involve rape but which sufficient money had plastered over.

The only thing Jin Zixuan had going for him was his legitimacy, but his father had long ago taught him - however inadvertently - that there wasn’t anything magical about a wedding ceremony that made him better suited to the role of sect leader.

What’s more, in his heart of hearts, Jin Zixuan didn’t even want it.

He wasn’t – he didn’t really like fighting. Or politics, or scheming, or any of it. It just wasn’t his personality. He didn’t like games of influence, he didn’t like backstabbing people that trusted him, he didn’t like gossiping and slandering and not being able to believe in people’s good faith and any of that, and no matter how much his mom pushed him, he didn’t think he’d ever like it. 

But that was what Lanling Jin did, what Jilin Tower was like, and if he wanted to take up the Sect Leader’s seat and reside in the Fragrant Palace, he had to get over himself and accept that that’s what the rest of his life would be like.

Forever.

Until someone murdered him and took his place, anyway. It almost felt inevitable, sometimes. 

Or, because he really truly didn’t want the job, because he really truly didn’t want to die, he could try to think of something else. Some way out.

For example, he could, and did, go to Jin Ziyao and ask him for help.

Jin Ziyao stared at him, eyes narrow and calculating as they so rarely were – he was very good at keeping a bland polite smile on his face, the best at it of all the people Jin Zixuan had ever met, and he’d met a lot. 

“That’s an interesting thing to say, brother,” he said, gently eliding as always the fact that they were the same age, born on the same day to different mothers. “Very interesting indeed. I must ask, though - why are you saying it to me?”

“Because you’d be the best at the job,” Jin Zixuan said honestly. He really thought so: Jin Ziyao was smart and clever, cunning enough to wear a kind face and tricky enough to actually pull off the impression of actually being kind, since people were more willing to forgive kind people, but also ambitious and ruthless enough to survive and maybe even thrive in the political world the way Jin Zixuan wasn’t. “And because you’re smart enough to come up with a way for me to get out of this without dying, if you wanted to.”

“Flattery will get you nowhere. Why would I want to?”

And that was the rub, wasn’t it? Jin Zixuan was the legitimate son, the rightful heir, and his father, their father, was just as likely to name Jin Zixuan as the next sect leader no matter how unfit for the role he was on nothing more than that basis as he was to name anyone else with a much stronger claim. 

It was in everyone else’s best interest to kill him, if they were ambitious.

Maybe not his sisters. They wouldn’t inherit no matter what happened to him.

(Sometimes Jin Zixuan wished he was lucky enough to be born a nobody, little Jin Ziyu, who just wanted to play with make-up and avoid all contact with his maternal Mo family. Nobody cared about Jin Ziyu, and everyone liked it that way.)

“You know my position,” Jin Zixuan explained. He didn’t need to say it out loud; he was bitterly aware that it was basically his only personality trait: legitimate heir of Jin Guangshan, the rich boy everyone thought would be the next sect leader unless someone else got in the way. “My support could be worth something to you.”

“Especially if it’s sincere,” Jin Ziyao murmured, looking thoughtful, contemplative. It wasn’t an outright no, anyway, or at least not yet. “And you would be sincere, wouldn’t you?”

“There’s a reason I said that I’m not fit for the role,” Jin Zixuan replied, his voice dry to hide the fact that his heart was in his throat. Jin Ziyao was the one most likely to succeed in finding a way to get him out of this mess, but he was also the most likely to figure out a way to kill him without being blamed for it, too.  There was a reason he’d come to him, but that reason was the danger - who was to say that Jin Ziyao wouldn’t decide it’d be safer to kill him, and to use this to accomplish it? He could be signing his own death warrant. “And even if you’re smart, competent, good at managing things, well-connected, and well-liked, you can still use my help.”

Jin Ziyao had only a single fault: his mother had been a prostitute. People still judged him for that, something which made no sense to Jin Zixuan whatsoever – it wasn’t Jin Ziyao’s fault what his mother did before he was born – but it meant he lacked legitimacy even more than the others. 

Having the legitimate son backing his claim would be a strong argument in favor of overlooking that.

“You know your mother won’t like it,” Jin Ziyao said. Testing, probing; he hadn’t agreed yet.

“I know,” Jin Zixuan said simply. “But I hope that she’d like me being dead less.”

He wasn’t actually sure about that. His mother loved him, yes, but he had never entirely determined if she loved him for himself or as an extension of herself – a symbol of what she would be fighting towards. A sign that her struggles with her husband had a purpose, that all her humiliation would one day be worth it.

That one day, when he was sect leader, she would become the true power in Lanling through him. 

(Jin Zixuan didn’t know what she imagined would happen to all his illegitimate brothers and sisters in that situation, and he didn’t want to; it put a sick feeling in his gut to think about it – which he supposed meant he did know, after all, what she would want, but was instead choosing to ignore it.)

Jin Ziyao studied him for a long moment, presumably trying to analyze his sincerity and how firm he was on the idea. 

Jin Zixuan didn’t rush him, knowing it was a gamble on his side as well: it would be worse for him to help Jin Zixuan out of the line of succession only for Jin Zixuan to change his mind down the road. It would make him look bad, make him a target for the others, and the backstabbing nature of Lanling politics meant that luring someone in with a request for aid was exactly the sort of trap someone might lay out.

Sometimes, Jin Zixuan was really, really tired of Lanling.

Maybe something of that showed on his face, because just when he was starting to lose hope, Jin Ziyao abruptly nodded – almost to himself – and said, “All right. How about your marriage?”

“What about my marriage?” Jin Zixuan asked, puzzled. 

He’d been engaged to his mother’s best friend’s daughter since before he was born, and amazingly enough the engagement had held despite everything – probably because they had barely met, to be perfectly honest. And also the fact that being surrounded by brothers that hid daggers in their smiles gave Jin Zixuan enough experience to realize that he was being deliberately incited when his so-called friends started telling him that he deserved better than a girl most often described simply as being nice.

After all, he’d already started doubting by that time that he even deserved the accident of his legitimate birth, so forget deserving any girl.

Also, being nice sounded…rather nice, actually. Certainly a relief, assuming she was actually nice rather than just pretending to be the way so many of his sisters were.

(None of them liked her, which suggested she might be.)

“You should get to know your intended better,” Jin Ziyao said. “Visit her more often.”

Jin Zixuan really wasn’t seeing the connection between that and his request for assistance, and Jin Ziyao’s gaze softened a little bit, though Jin Zixuan wasn’t sure if it was with sympathy or merely pity.

“It’ll make it easier for you,” he clarified. “For when you marry in.”

Marry in?

Marry in. The Jiang sect was a Great Sect, with enough power and influence to make unreasonable demands – and his father desperately wanted the alliance with them. If they could be convinced to demand that he marry in rather than having Jiang Yanli marry out, pointing to their smaller numbers or the tragedies that had befallen their sect…

Jiang Cheng would like having his sister around. He was also notoriously standoffish around women, and had viciously rejected any effort to be matched with one of the illegitimate Jin girls; it might even be possible to suggest to his father that allowing Jin Zixuan to marry in would mean that there was a chance that Jiang Cheng would be willing to leave his sect to a nephew surnamed Jiang, winning the Jin sect both an alliance and inheritance all at once.

Best of all, it had to be him. The Jiang sect had only agreed to the engagement because of Madame Yu’s friendship with his mother, not for any political reason; if his father tried to substitute him with someone else, they might break it entirely…

And someone who married out couldn’t be the heir.

“You’re a genius,” Jin Zixuan told his brother, who smiled crookedly in acknowledgement. “What should I do? Do I just – go over there? Send a letter? I can’t write letters…”

“Let me think about it,” Jin Ziyao said. “I’m sure I can come up with something more subtle than you.”

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

Hi love, so I was wondering if u had any thoughts about Edward panic changing Bella if she was close to death while he was near. Like if they were in a car accident or whatever and medical help was too far away. For all his refusal to turn her and let her die naturally, he seems like he would panic and bite her when in the actual situation. (Regardless of whether or not he succeeds in turning her or mercy kills her after, because I totally agree with u about those two lmao 😭😭😂)

Hello, anon.

Well, this actually happened in canon.

The Fiasco of Bella's Emergency Birth

Bella's emergency C-section was a complete shit show and almost like an act of God to make sure Carlisle was not there. The date for the operation had been set, after weeks of starvation Carlisle finally leaves the house in order to prepare for surgery, and the second he steps out side what happens.

Bella's spine snaps like a twig, Edward has to eat his daughter out of the womb, and Bella's goes into cardiac arrest.

Bella's heart stops in the middle of this, her spine was broken, and she lost a massive amount of blood. Bella was a millisecond from death.

Edward stabs her with a syringe and chooses to turn her.

Before that point, it was unclear that he would.

He starts Breaking Dawn trying to coax Bella into postponing the change or even delaying it inevitably. His plan is to attend college with her, something Bella would physically not be capable of as a typical newborn.

Given the Volturi, this was absolutely not an option, Edward insists it is anyway.

When Bella becomes pregnant with his child, his plan is to abort her (forcibly if need be) and supply her Jacob Black as a stud in order to deliver all the human babies she could possibly want. Bella by this point cannot digest human food, her stomach has turned to stone, and Renesmee has likely damaged her internal organs beyond repair. Bella cannot go back to being an ordinary human, not without significant health issues, and that's if she survives at all (which I find doubtful).

I'm sure Edward had it in his mind that, even with Carlisle cutting Bella's uterus open with his teeth, that somehow, in some miraculous way, they might not have to turn Bella. Bella can remain human and everything will be fine.

But then Bella is dying in front of him, he sees her heart stop, and he makes the panic decision to save her life. He shoots her heart full of venom then begins CPR. Bella survives through the transformation and is turned.

To me though, this was very much a panic changing and something that was up in the air. Edward in that moment had to decide whether or not he could live without Bella, even if she's a vampire. He chose to keep her, he likely will always wonder if he made the correct choice.

But Back To Your Question

By Breaking Dawn Bella's been around a while. She's made it repeatedly clear, many many times, that she wants to be a vampire. She and Edward have extensively argued both pros and cons of vampirism. Edward's not sure Bella really gets what his reality is (she doesn't) but they have gone over it.

Bella's also talked to Carlisle, Rosalie, and Jasper about the whole vampire package. She's met multiple vampires, been attacked by multiple vampires, even Edward can't deny she's seen the ugly side of vampirism.

Bella really wants to be a vampire.

Edward has also faced reality without Bella Swan. It's bleak, cold, and endless. There is nothing for him in that world, even separating from her if she were to remain human pains him significantly.

Even Edward, stubborn as he is, could read the writing on the wall by Breaking Dawn. The decision is ruminating in the back of his mind and the option, loathe as he is to admit it, is actually on the table.

Then you have Renesmee who really helps things along. Per Renesmee, Edward decides that vampires do in fact have a soul. He is not a damned, senseless, creature and turning Bella would not condemn her to be a monster. He still likely doesn't like the idea of it, for reasons he cannot explain to himself, but his major theological argument is now gone.

Without Renesmee's gift, he may very well not have gone for that syringe.

But say we're in Twilight or even New Moon, this is a Bella Edward is sure has no idea what a vampire is. One who has not had a chance to assert a billion times that, yes, she really really really wants to do this. He's still convinced he can leave her and she can live a human life without vampires or any supernatural nonsense.

We see this Bella get significantly injured in Edward's presence.

Bella is losing a lot of blood fast after her run in with James. Carlisle has to start stitching her up immediately and get her to a hospital. A little later, and even from the blood loss she might have died. She's also been been bitten.

To stop her transformation, the venom would have to be sucked out, something notoriously difficult to do even under the best of circumstances. Bella's currently bleeding profusely and is Edward's singer: this is a death sentence.

Rather than panic change her, Edward panic keeps her human. He sucks the poison out, nearly going too far and killing her, and risks her death to keep her human.

In that moment, though it's a flash decision, Edward would rather Bella die than turn her. (After which, of course, he would go to Volterra to kill himself and give Aro an aneurism).

He repeats this sort of idea throughout the series. Notable are the times that Bella gives him hypothetical scenarios, increasingly ridiculous, to see what he would come up with.

A car crashes? Edward never crashes cars, he is that awesome at driving. And if the car crashes anyway, he has the reflexes of a panther, he'll unbuckle Bella, vault out of the car, and heroically jump out the back window to safety and humanity. Bella will never be injured.

A plane crashes? Edward unbuckles Bella from her seatbelt, carries her bridal style to the emergency exit, and then throws them both out the window and to safety... some tens of thousands of feet below preferably in water. He and Bella are then photographed as the sole miraculous survivors of this terrible tragedy. (When Edward gave this answer, I had my answer as to whether or not Edward actually passed his basic physics class. The answer, children, is no.)

Granted, these are not actual scenarios, and it's easier to give these kinds of answers than talk about them. But it's very telling that in Twilight, when Bella point blank tells him that one day she will die and that is the truth of humanity, he essentially says, "Blue Screen: ERROR" back to her followed swiftly by, "THE SUBJECT IS CLOSED".

Back to Your Question (Again)

But let's say we have your scenario. The summer after James, in Bella and Edward's summer of love before the birthday disaster, Edward (say it ain't so) crashes the fucking Volvo.

What can one expect when making a sharp turn at 110 MPH? Well, Edward has the reflexes of a panther, so he never saw it coming somehow. Bella, of course, saw it coming the first time she stepped into Edward's car.

Edward walks out fine, Bella... does not. The car's down in a ravine, Bella's bleeding out, it is clear she is not going to survive this and Edward cannot get her to the hospital in time even with his speed.

Well, given this is Twilight, and given the shock of all of this and suddenness, Edward could very well black out and eat her. When Edward comes to, he's om nom noming on Bella's battered corpse.

Edward runs away to Italy to kill himself.

Say he doesn't though, Edward manages to hold his breath or else miraculously control himself. Bella's still bleeding out, and giving him this very dazed, expectant, look. From Bella's face, it's clear what she's thinking: Turn Me, You Dipshit.

However... I imagine if Bella can't say the words out loud, Edward while panicked and in terror of losing her, won't do it. He will not condemn her to vampirism without her explicit consent.

Let's say Bella gurgles out, "Turn me, Edward"

Well, things just got a whole lot harder. This is now Bella's dying wish, she's looking at him even as the light fades out of her eyes, and he can see the growing resignation and disappointment in them. Edward will have this image with him forever, the life, light, and love bleeding out of Bella and her undoubtedly final thoughts that Edward was never worthy of her.

Honestly? Toss a coin.

I could see it going either way.

Edward stalls so long, deliberating, that the time for action passes. Bella dies right in front of him. That, or he sees her life force flickering and before he can think about it he bites her (whether to eat her or turn her we'll never truly know) and then it's too late, it's done, he's turned her himself. (If, of course, he doesn't accidentally kill her in the process).

The Aftermath

If he turns her then Edward will forever be haunted by the guilt that he destroyed Bella Swan. He turned her into a monster, just as he feared, and has condemned her to this miserable existence where she becomes orphaned from everything she knew.

Edward in this situation breaks things off with Bella (very awkward as they're part of the same coven now), he can't handle the guilt of what he did to her or what she now is. He thinks about mercy killing her, but given it's his own damn fault, is probably very conflicted and feels unworthy of taking even this action. All of this just makes him the lowest of worms.

Bella is utterly devastated that Edward appears to no longer love her (just as she suspected) and tries desperately to assure him that she loves being a vampire. She's finally comfortable in her own skin. She certainly still loves him and more, even if she wasn't happy, she gave her consent and would never hold that against him.

Edward doesn't care.

Edward likely goes to Rio to try to wrap his head around everything and be miserable by himself. Alice and Jasper likely leave on Alice's journey of self-discovery (but mostly to just avoid the emotional turmoil of the Cullen household). Rosalie actively blames Bella for this and tells her so to her face, Esme is an utter wreck, and Carlisle's working triple overtime at the hospital. Bella is even more devastated, she's Yoko Ono breaking apart the Beatles.

Bella offers to leave the Cullens. If she leaves then everything will go back to normal, right?

Everyone protests. But everyone here is pretty much Esme and Carlisle. But mostly Carlisle. Esme tries to, but it's in between sobs, where she talks about how beautiful Bella and Edward were AND THEY CAN WORK IT OUT. Emmett would, but Rosalie views Bella as a home wrecker and he has to side with the wife. Which just leaves Carlisle trying to lamely insist this isn't her fault.

It isn't, but, well, things are very bad right now.

Carlisle likely sets up Bella with the Denali. This ends after a few weeks, Bella can't handle the lifestyle and being the ugly brunette sister. Bella likely becomes a nomad and catches up with the Cullens every few years or so.

The 'Cullens' of course, becoming smaller and smaller each consecutive visit as the coven utterly dissolves.

The last time Bella visits, it's just Carlisle. Esme ran off to support Edward in Rio, Alice and Jasper never came back, and Rosalie and Emmett are on their 23rd honey-moon.

And that's how Bella rejoins the Cullens (i.e. Carlisle).

It's very awkward.

[stellocchia]

okay thank you! (and don't worry, i like debating and getting rants in response to what i say). there is a huge movement behind the "don't portray c!wilbur as physically abusive" in pogtopia, which at its heart i agree with, but i don't agree with how people portray it as the only way c!wilbur could've abused c!tommy. it goes from "don't portray c!wilbur as physically abusive!" to "don't portray c!wilbur as abusive at all!" and ignoring all non-physical actions of c!wilbur in pogtopia. it takes "c!wilbur sees c!tommy as an extension of himself" and leaves it at that and c!wilbur's tragedy, without acknowledging how that would negatively effect c!tommy. how c!wilbur is self-destructive, and repeatedly lashes that out on c!tommy. how that is also abuse.

i think it ties in a lot with the idea that people can't be bad to others, hurt others, or abuse others without going full c!dream "i'm going to kidnap and horrifically abuse this teenager for months"

c!wilbur gets the absolute worst either "this man is a horrifically abusive manipulator whos irredeemable" or "c!wilbur was mentally ill and suicidal when he did these things, which means we don't need to talk about how he actually hurt people!" and it pisses me off, especially in regards to c!tommy

(also, @ the "don't make c!wilbur physically abusive towards c!tommy in pogtopia" gang, again, fundementally i agree with you, but... what do they call forcing someone (who you've already shown abusive behavior towards) into a situation where they'd get hurt no matter what, even if it isn't by you directly? i think there's a word for that...)

Before seeing your last paragraph I was about to say that there is, in fact, at least one known instance of physical abuse because really you cannot describe the pit scene in any other way. That was a mix of physical abuse and verbal abuse all thrown in together that people very often just convenintly gloss over.

That said I actually fully agree with you on this one!

I've actually seen people go further and say that Wilbur wasn't manipulative to him either which is just so blatantly false.

There is something called "shaming" that c!Wilbur likes using a lot, which can be summed up as: manipulator uses sarcasm and put-downs to increase fear and self-doubt in the victim. Manipulators use this tactic to make others feel unworthy and therefore defer to them. Manipulators can make one feel ashamed for even daring to challenge them. It is an effective way to foster a sense of inadequacy in the victim.

This is what that whole "you'll never be president" thing was about. This is what "he's not as mature as you Tubbo" during the pit scene was about. c!Wilbur constantly defining c!Tommy as immature and berating him was a type of manipulation.

How about him telling Tommy they couldn't trust anyone? Enphasizing that he shouldn't trust Tubbo? Yes that was his paranoia speaking, but believing in something doesn't make it any less manipulative. He still used that rethoric wich he believed in to his advantage, to make sure Tommy wouldn't leave him because he had no one he trusted to go to.

Also I really don't know why people simply gloss over the fact that Tommy was living under the constant fear of the place he fought for being obliterated and the people he cared about potentially dying during it. Like, I know no one died (aside from Jack Manifold and Wilbur) on the 16th but the characters didn't know that no one would die in the explosion. Wilbur didn't know that no one would die!

Yes he was self destructive, but he was actively constantly threatening everything Tommy cared about. He exploded the country while everyone was there and with Tommy on his last life. For all he knew Tommy could have had his final death that day as well!

Like, we really do not talk enough about what an absolute nightmare it must have been to be 16 and have to bear the weight of a whole country maybe exploding if he wasn't good enough to persuade Wilbur not to do it. He literally had to talk him down from suicide once and he did that by threatening his own death basically! I mean he clearly was not okay...

Also as I said other times not being as bad as cDream is not the big achievement some people seem to think. C!Dream kidnapped someone with the full intent of abusing them and manipulating them to depend on him because he's obsessed to that degree with his main victim. He then proceeded to beath him to death to prove a point. Being better then him is not even the bare minimum, he is not the standard you have to get to for something to be considered abuse, that's just not how it works.

[prince-of-elsinore]

Dean and Hamartia: more finale meta

(Disclaimer: I'm not really trying to convince anyone to change their opinion with this post--just making an observation and analyzing why some people responded to the finale as they did.)

I think that people who believe Dean's death sends a bad message may be misidentifying Dean's tragic flaw. A tragic flaw, or hamartia, is the fatal flaw that leads to a hero's downfall/tragic end. And since "flaw" sounds like a judgmental word, I think it's worth it to insert this quote from Jules Brody (via Wikipedia):

"Whatever this problematic word may be taken to mean, it has nothing to do with such ideas as fault, vice, guilt, moral deficiency, or the like. Hamartia is a morally neutral non-normative term, derived from the verb hamartano, meaning 'to miss the mark', 'to fall short of an objective'. And by extension: to reach one destination rather than the intended one; to make a mistake, not in the sense of a moral failure, but in the nonjudgmental sense of taking one thing for another, taking something for its opposite. Hamartia may betoken an error of discernment due to ignorance, to the lack of an essential piece of information. Finally, hamartia may be viewed simply as an act which, for whatever reason, ends in failure rather than success." (Bold mine)

Dean dying a hunter's death (failing to leave the life) is his tragic end. From what I gather, some finale critics see Dean's flaw as his self-loathing/lack of self worth/guilt, and see his death as another example of the all-too-common trope of such characters dying as an act of atonement. Such characters seek worth through their deaths because they do not see worth in their lives, and I agree that it's disappointing when narratives/authors seem to confirm that the only worthy or possible end for such a character is self-sacrifice.

While those flaws are certainly issues that Dean struggles with, I don't believe they are his tragic flaw--especially because by the time of 15x20 he has overcome them. He tells Chuck "that's not who I am" (the ultimate killer) and in Carry On we see an unburdened Dean. In fact, he appears even less burdened than Sam about the past, considering his reaction to Sam bringing up Jack and Castiel. Furthermore, Dean's death is not one of conscious sacrifice. He is not choosing to lay down his life for another or for a cause in a specific instance. It is happenstance, and if Dean could have done anything to avoid it, there is no doubt he would have. Already, Dean and his death don't fit the model of the type outlined above.

The key question to figure out hamartia is, why does the hero end tragically? In this case, it is because Dean did not give up hunting. And why does he not give up hunting? Crucially, not because he lacks self worth, as already established. For a younger Dean, this might have applied, but not the Dean of Carry On. This more mature and self-assured Dean continues to hunt because he believes it is right. As I've written about before, the Supernatural universe poses a moral dilemma: what do you do with knowledge of things that go bump in the night? Dean chooses, and will always choose, to try to save as many people as possible. It is a responsibility he struggles with and strongly resents at times. He questions, why me? Why is it my job? But by the late seasons, it's clear that Dean has stopped asking and not only accepted, but embraced the responsibility, as he expresses to Sam in Lebanon. He sees value in what he does--his life's work--and believes it makes him a moral person. Dean saves lives, and selflessly puts his own on the line to do so.

To return to hamartia, then: Dean's hamartia is his selflessness. Sometimes there is a fine line between selflessness and lack of self worth, but there is a distinction, and an important one. It is possible to be selfless and have self worth, and this is true of the Dean of the finale. So, we see that Dean's tragic flaw is not, just as Brody explained, really a flaw at all--it is also his most redeeming quality. He lived and died true to himself, by being true to others. It doesn't make his death not a tragedy--it is, undoubtedly, because hunting itself is a tragedy in the SPN world. But what it doesn't do is contribute to a harmful narrative about mental health in the way that some fans seem to have taken it to.

[cheri-translates]

[CN] S2 Gavin and MC in Chapter 11 (Part One)

🍒 Warning: This post contains detailed spoilers from Season 2 🍒

I’m focusing on the interactions between Gavin and MC, not the plot (because the latter requires extensive time and effort that I can’t spare). So the less essential parts are in bullet-point form :>

Phone calls: First l Second

To investigate an issue related to pathological changes in Evolvers, MC heads to a hospital to talk to the director (who is a genuinely kind man)

While they’re discussing the issue, the alarm suddenly goes off, and two Evolvers barge into the office and bring them to the main lobby

Cutting the drama short: Five Evolvers have taken everyone in the hospital hostage. They don’t have weapons, and are subduing everyone with their Evol. The person leading them is a 43-year-old man called Yang Ping, who has a compression Evol. This means he can exert pressure on surrounding objects at will, and can even destroy a person’s organs

Yang Ping releases the Evolvers, but MC decides to stay because she wants to figure out his plan

MC notices a little girl crying, so she controls her own trembling and comforts the girl:

Girl: T-they suddenly barged in! And they said all of us would become hostages... and that they wanted to negotiate with the STF!

A man without a left hand offers the girl a tissue (this fact sounds really random but it’d make sense later!)

MC tells the girl not to worry because her boyfriend the STF will never lose to someone who isn’t on the side of justice:

MC: As long as that person is around, STF will never cower, and will definitely protect everyone’s safety.

The STF arrives at the scene, and Yang Ping uses a row of doctors as a meat shield while he negotiates with the STF

Gavin is in complete Commander Mode™:

Gavin: Your actions have amounted to “endangering public safety”. Release the hostages right now, and the STF will take this into consideration for leniency in punishment.

The moment I hear Gavin’s voice, I finally heave a sigh of relief.

He seems to be standing among a small formation towards the front. Even though I can’t see his face clearly, I know he’s there.

At this moment, it’s as though all the fear is gently pried open by a gust of formless wind, and the leaves outside sway slightly.

As though it’s saying - Don’t be afraid. 

Yang Ping states that the recent series of Evolver assassinations and Evolvers going missing shows how they aren’t being protected sufficiently. He demands for the STF to promise to change the way Evolvers are managed, and to give them better privileges and protection. If the STF refuses, they’d start dealing with the hostages one by one

MC spots Gavin with his team, and thinks he can’t see her from where he is

The little girl starts crying again, and it annoys one of the kidnappers. MC is worried he’d harm the girl, so MC speaks up, admitting that she’s an Evolver and that she fully agrees with what Yang Ping said. She tries to reason that hurting a civilian would be ruining the entire plan because they’re the bargaining chips to negotiating with the STF. If any of the civilians were to be harmed, STF would never listen to their requests

The kidnapper recognises MC as a suspect of the assassination incidents, which makes MC think that there’s more to this kidnapping situation than merely waiting privileges and protection

After all, aside from a few people in STF, no one should know that she’s a suspect i.e. there might be a spy in STF PLEASE DON’T BE TANG CHAO LOL

-

Now, we switch to Gavin’s perspective of the same events

He has received surveillance footage of what's going on in the hospital, and is discussing the issue with Tang Chao and Eli while figuring out how best to get the hostages out...

All of a sudden, Gavin’s pupils widen slightly, eyes focused on one spot, and he freezes.

In the footage, after a stream of Evolvers have left, a girl remains at the same spot. She glances around her surroundings, then smiles as she says something to a little girl, and appears to be consoling the other party quietly.

At this moment, he feels as though his heart has stopped.

What’s she doing here?!

Gavin realises that his right hand is trembling. He clenches it into a tight fist, fingertips buried in his palm, silently turning white.

His mind is a complete blank. All he wants to do is rush in and bring the girl out safely.

Gavin closes his eyes, taking a few deep breaths. When he opens his eyes again, they are filled with an even colder aura.

The sound of his beating heart in his chest gets louder with each beat, as though questioning his forced facade of calmness.

He watches as MC talks to the kidnapper, and realises that MC is using this method to show that she has faith in him

At this point, a call from the “other side” tells him to give up on negotiations and rescue the hostages using force

But Gavin refuses because there’s still time to negotiate, the hostages would be put at great risk, and STF will only use force when truly necessary

The “other side” says it’s an order. So Gavin says that the STF will handle problems using its own ways and hangs up LOL

Tang Chao: Captain Gavin, no matter what you say, the Special Operations Team will only listen to your orders.

Eli: Same for the STF.

A chilly wind brushes the faces of everyone on the scene, but the trust and determination in their eyes remain resolute.

Eli: Also, we aren’t the only ones in this battle.

Gavin smiles, returning his gaze to the small figures in the footage. The girl is standing before the man firmly, reminiscent of a flower that can never be destroyed. 

Gavin: She’s always been very brave.

The smile on his lips is abruptly tucked away. Gavin leans in closer to the screen, and sees that the girl is being brought closer to the entrance by one of the kidnappers.

--Every nerve in his body tenses up once again.

-

And we return to MC’s perspective

As the negotiations progress, Yang Ping tells the kidnappers to bring all the doctors back inside, except one

MC figures out that all this time, the real objective of the kidnappers is to test the STF

Gavin steps forward:

Ever since Gavin and I parted ways at the STF the last time, I haven’t seen him again.

Even though I’ve been asked to report my activities to STF at regular timings, Gavin has been very busy during this period of time, and I haven’t seen him much.

Looking at Gavin in front of me, it seems as though everything else in the world are kept outside a screen, and I can only see his eyes.

His hair is a little fuzzy, but he still looks unstoppable. It’s just that while his eyes have always been determined, they now carry an almost imperceptible worry.

I smile, wanting to tell him that I'm fine. Gavin’s gaze lingers on my face of a few seconds. When he sees my smile, he blinks, then shifts his eyes to the man.

The man and Gavin exchange glances for a few seconds. The corners of his lips simply tug upwards, pushing me around five metres away from Gavin.

Even though it looks like I’m a supporter whom he has incited, I know that I’m just another hostage.

Yang Ping gives Gavin a choice - If Gavin pushes that one doctor out of the window, the kidnappers will release everyone in the hospital and will turn themselves in. But if he chooses to save the doctor, he’d blow up the entire hospital

Basically, the kidnappers are trying to stir hate towards STF because no matter which option he picks, it’s going to cause public uproar

Gavin is quick to point out that the kidnappers haven’t directly hurt any of the civilians. Because they are representing Evolvers, they can’t hurt anyone or it’d give all Evolvers a bad name

Gavin, who represents the STF, has to find a perfect way to resolve this matter - no one can die, even the kidnappers

What he says are actually hints on what MC should do

MC gets it  - she pretends to fall to the ground, and cuts her own arm with a dagger she’s hidden

The reason for this is because Yang Ping’s plan rests entirely on his status as “helping Evolvers”. If MC manages to show that Yang Ping would hurt Evolvers too, his plan would fail

While Yang Ping is shocked, Gavin rushes forward and flips Yang Ping onto the ground. The Special Operations Team rush out and arrest them using Evol-neutralising handcuffs

Gavin arrests Yang Ping:

Gavin: Evolvers and humans - neither will be sacrificed, including you. If you think there’s only a superficial peace and balance now, and that you can’t see normal civilians and Evolvers walking down a common path, just open your eyes and look. I’ll walk down that path.

It dawns on MC that she barely made it out of this situation alive, and she shivers. Then, she’s drawn into someone’s arms:

Lifting my head, I see that Gavin’s handsome eyebrows are scrunched up. His hand is holding bandages he took from the medics.

Gavin: You were supposed to pretend. Why did you actually cut yourself?

MC: Doesn't this have a greater impact? It’s more realistic.

He sighs slightly, holding my wounded arm gently and bandaging it meticulously.

Watching as Gavin leans over as he helps me with the bandage, the fear I had suppressed earlier suddenly pour out from my heart like a tidal wave.

MC: I won’t be this rash next time.

Gavin: There won’t be a next time.

When our eyes meet, I see the worry and earnestness in Gavin’s eyes. 

MC: Okay, there won’t be a next time.

Thinking that the matter has been settled, MC waves at the hospital’s director from afar, and he smiles at her

A red dot suddenly appears on his forehead, and Gavin tries to rush to the director... but he’s too late, and the director is shot by a sniper... T^T

MC is dumbfounded as she takes in everything that’s happening - shrill cries from the crowd, the STF members who are once again on guard, and the director on the ground

Gavin kneels behind the director. Perhaps if he made it a second earlier, he could have prevented this tragedy.

The STF uniform, which has always been white, is now dyed completely red. There are specks of blood on his face, and droplets of blood roll down the sides of his face slowly.

He kneels in place, and doesn’t turn back for a very long time. The hands at his side tremble slightly, and he quickly balls them into fists. 

After a long while, Gavin turns his head expressionlessly, looking at a shocked Yang Ping.

Yang Ping shakes his head repeatedly, muttering softly as he backs away.

Yang Ping: No... this isn’t right...

He stops backing away, as though something dawned on him. Then, he suddenly bursts out laughing.

Yang Ping: ...looks like the people from GRAY RHINO are even better.

In the next second, the sound of a gunshot once again fills the air.

Yang Ping is standing in position, and I watch as blood spatters from his temple.

His eyes are wide open, is in a daze for a moment before toppling to the ground.

Another patch of crimson spreads on the ground. Yang Ping’s twitches slightly, as though saying something, yet no sound comes out.

His eyes remain open till the end, staring at Gavin.

I’m in a state of shock as I take everything in, and feel unsteady on my feet.

An incredibly icy aura exudes from Gavin’s body. He stands up slowly, like a silent volcano.

Gavin: Who was it... who fired the gun?!!

I seem to hear something which had been crumbling finally caving in.

-

MC gets home somehow and falls asleep LOL same

At the STF office, the Special Operations Team are gathered and there’s a really heavy atmosphere in the air

Tang Chao verifies that the bullet that shot Yang Ping wasn’t from the STF’s sniping team. Another member pipes up and adds that even so, it belongs to STF

Gavin asks for further details, but another officer reports that there are no leads. There’s a possibility that an Evolver did it

Gavin orders them to investigate properly

And sounds really fierce (つω`｡)

Afterwards, Gavin walks along the street and some random man without a left hand steps out of an alley and greets him with: “Captain Gavin, this is the first time we’re meeting.”

-

By the time I’m roused awake from the heavy downpour, it’s already late at night.

With a sigh, I get up from the sofa and decide to draw the curtains. 

Large droplets of rain continuously pelt onto the ground. I stare outside the window in a daze. When my eyes focus, I see a familiar figure downstairs.

MC: ...Gavin?

Taking an umbrella, I rush downstairs. Gavin’s profile enters my vision -- and my heart is tugged.

I have no idea how long he’s been standing in the rain, and his entire self seems to be soaked in it.

The rain has soaked his entire body. Drenched hair sticks to the sides of his face, water droplets continuously sliding off his chin.

The STF uniform is in a mess, sticking to his body. The organisation’s emblem on his chest has been washed till it has lost its metal shine. 

I step out of the apartment building slowly, rain pouring down.

I suddenly recall the night he spent accompanying me in the rain a very long time ago.

--it’s as though he’s lost his drive, removed all his defences, and it gives one heartache and sadness.

I have no idea why Gavin is standing here right now, but across the curtain of rain, I seem to once again see that careful heart.

Gavin seems a little surprised by my appearance. His unfocused pupils constrict slightly, and his shoulders tremble imperceptibly.

Gavin: ...why aren’t you asleep?

MC: ...if I were asleep, were you planning to stand in the rain for an entire night?

I walk over slowly, lifting the transparent umbrella over our heads. Rainwater patters against the surface of the umbrella, becoming the only sound in this silence. 

Gavin doesn’t speak. His eyes, which have always been shining with light, seem to be layered with the colour of the gray clouds overhead, and an unspeakable dullness. 

There’s neither grief nor anger in them. All that’s left is helplessness.

Very slowly, his lips finally twitch slightly, breaking the silence.

Gavin: Aren’t you going to ask?

MC: Nope. If you want to talk, I’ll listen and resolve the problem with you. If you don’t want to talk, I’ll keep you company as we stand here, then...

Gavin: Then?

MC: Trust you.

I smile as I reach out, brushing the drenched fringe in front of his forehead, revealing his beautiful amber eyes.

MC: No matter what happens, I’ll always trust you.

Gavin’s eyes widen slightly. The hands beside him are clenched into fists, trembling slightly.

Gavin: ...you once said that every single one of my bullets are for justice. If you were to find out that perhaps I can’t really do that... 

Gavin: ...what would you think?

I’m stunned.

Gavin’s voice is faint, a solid darkness hidden in his words.

His entire self seems to be encumbered by a layer of thick sheet of iron. His back is straight, as though waiting for a final judgment.

MC: I’d look for the truth behind it.

Gavin purses his lips and doesn’t say a word. But I know that he’s waiting for my answer solemnly.

MC: Even if there was really such a bullet, I’d want to further verify why that bullet strayed from its course. And whether, at that point of time when the situation happened, there was really a violation of justice?

Gavin watches me quietly, and I smile as I look at him.

MC: No matter what reason you had for standing there, and for shooting that bullet, you would have done so based on what you saw, heard, and the result of thinking. And I believe in it, and I believe in your judgment at that point of time. That bullet definitely has its meaning.

I say these things instinctively, hoping to give him even the slightest bit of support and courage.

The dim streetlights meld into the water droplets, reflecting into Gavin’s eyes.

The rain gradually lightens. The air Gavin breathes out turns into a white patch of mist in the air. 

Gavin: I’ll find the truth behind this matter. I can’t use “I don’t know the true state of affairs” as an excuse. If it’s something I’ve done, I should take responsibility.

Gavin takes the umbrella in my hand, his eyes carrying with them resoluteness and certainty.

Gavin: I don’t want to fail to live up to your trust, but I... have to face up to the truth. To give you, and to give those who no longer have a voice, a genuine explanation.

-

Two days pass after that rainy evening

Even though MC doesn’t know what Gavin is up to, she can tell that it’s something important and dangerous

She’s at STF to give her regular report, and Gavin walks into the room. His eyes are bloodshot, and he looks thinner and more pallid, and she knows that he’s been working very hard to live up to that promise

I think of comforting him, wanting to tell him not to overdo it, and to take care of his health.

However, the moment I open my mouth, all my emotions morph into a dry greeting.

MC: Gavin, have you been really busy lately?

Gavin doesn’t respond. He simply places his palms on the table between us, his expression solemn as he comes closer to me.

Gavin: Are you investigating the Evol assassinations?

MC: Of course. I’m still a suspect, so I need to think of ways to clear myself of suspicion.

Gavin: This matter could be even more serious than you imagine.

Looking at Gavin’s somewhat resigned expression, I smile.

MC: Things have already reached this stage. What could be even more serious than this? Don’t worry, I know what I'm doing. But are you going to do something dangerous again? You’ve got to take care of yourself. If you need my help, just say it. After all, I’m Nox from Black Swan!

I deliberately use a light-hearted tone, and the corners of Gavin’s lips tug upwards as well.

Gavin: Proudly saying that you’re from Black Swan in the STF - you don’t want to leave, do you?

MC: ...

I freeze. Only when I see the teasing glint in Gavin’s eyes do I realise that he’s toying with me. 

At the same time, I release a sigh of relief. At least Gavin is still in the mood for jokes.

Gavin: To be honest, what I need to do is indeed very dangerous, and I need more people whom I can trust completely. With your help, my investigation will definitely progress much more smoothly.

He lifts his head to look into my eyes directly. The light in his amber eyes reveal trust and sincerity.

I’m left astounded. Receiving such an invitation from Gavin for the first time makes my mind lag a little.

MC: Gavin, what you're saying is... that you’re letting me help you?

Gavin: You didn’t mishear.

The faint scent on his body fills my surroundings. In my trance, I even think that a gentle breeze brushed my cheek. 

Gavin: ...of course, from my personal perspective, I wouldn’t want you to be involved in such matters. So, you’re free to reject.

MC: Why would I reject! I’m really happy to be of help.

Gavin stares deeply at my smiling face. After a long time, he reveals a somewhat relieved and resigned smile. 

Gavin: Thank you, MC.

Part two: here