#and the whole album at the infusion center

[gayserblast]

My man introduced me to tool and I haven't been normal since because now my gender is guy who listens to tool

[piratefalls]

i don't have a snarky opening line this week. have fic instead.

masterlist.

(make me) misbehave by r_holland

Alex Claremont-Diaz has done it again. The Texas-born singer-songwriter released his fourth studio album second skin Thursday at midnight. Full of Claremont-Diaz’s signature lyricism, critics are praising the album for the cohesive image it paints. second skin is the result of a young writer at the top of his game, and every lyric depicts for the listener a picture of a sun-drenched secret romance. Fans are clamoring to be the first to uncover the mystery girl at the center of it all, although Claremont-Diaz remains tight-lipped on the subject… -- Or: Alex Claremont-Diaz is a singer-songwriter rising up in the music industry. Henry Fox is the shining star of an acting empire. This is a love story.

NFWMB by cricketnationrise

5 Times Alex Fights Customer Service for Henry + 1 Time He Doesn't Have To

falling in love (in the cruelest way) by coffeecatsme

“Alex?” The name makes Alex stop halfway to the register and look back. Henry is standing in the same spot, shifting from foot to foot, before he juts his chin out. He meets Alex’s eyes. “Where are you traveling to?” Or, Alex picks up a stranger on a road trip, only to realize too late he's the missing Prince of Wales.

We've Got To Stop Meeting like This by everwitch

Alex books an Airbnb studio with a shared bathroom. The other studio is occupied by a man with lush pink lips and impressive personal hygiene — really, he’s super diligent about lathering and rinsing. Alex would know, seeing as the lock to the bathroom is seriously unreliable. Or: the Airbnb romp you didn’t know you needed.

quad shot americano by saintlynomenclature

Like always, Henry’s made it perfectly—the espresso is rich, decidedly not burnt, and the cinnamon tastes like it’s been infused rather than sprinkled in. “How the fuck do you do this?” Alex demands, taking another sip as Henry laughs at him. “If I tell you, you won’t come back.” Henry smiles, leaning back in his seat and crossing his arms over his chest. Alex lets his eyes follow the line of Henry’s shoulders, falling down to the veins in his forearms after the ends of his bunched-up sleeves. The ring on Henry’s left pinky doesn’t reflect in the lowlight of the back corner—without the sun glinting off of it, Alex can finally see that the surface of it is engraved. “If you think coffee's the only thing keeping me around, sweetheart, then I need to try harder.” The blush coats Henry’s cheeks again. He dips his head bashfully, eyes skating away from Alex’s face. “Whatever will I do with you?” he murmurs under his breath.

- Or, Alex spends an exorbitant amount of money on coffee.

Not So Silent Night by inexplicablymine

Sure, Alex can admit in the deepest recesses of his mind, at two in the morning, when the Liszt is playing forlornly like some kind of bugle call for grief, that whoever the fuck lives next to him is on another level with the keys. Or Alex has no idea who his piano playing neighbor is, but Alex knows one thing for certain… This means war.

Airplane Mode by clottedcreamfudge

Getting into an argument with someone in the airport lounge had probably been a mistake, in hindsight; Alex knows this. But with so many fucking delays and the fact that the signal on his phone is currently making it about as useful as two paper cups joined by a piece of string, he’s kind of on-edge. It’s not entirely his fault that he snaps. Attractive people with perfect hair who take the last almond croissant before Alex can get to it probably just need to understand this. Alex is at the end of his tether, and he will not be swayed by, “Well, I was here first,” in a British accent so smooth it could butter bread.

something more, something right by rizcriz

Alex blinks at him, seemingly entirely unimpressed. “So, you’re just going to pretend we’re not in love with each other?” 

here the whole time by HypnosTheory

Alex frowns, massaging Henry’s scalp. “It feels like you’re getting headaches more often babe. Anything wrong?” “It’s nothing,” Henry says, melting under Alex’s fingers on his scalp. “My suppressants are just killing my head. Think I’ve been taking them too long, I probably need a break soon.” Alex hums thoughtfully. “Or you could get off them for good.” -- Married and bonded, Henry and Alex decide it's about time to get off suppressants and start enjoying their bond fully.

Of Who I Am (Golden) by MayQueen517

There's magic and Henry is hiding something. Alex is determined to figure it out at all costs.

Dependence is a Childhood Illness by aubsoluteaudacity

As he stands by the counter and waits for the kettle to boil, Henry goes over his illness management tactics in his head. Drink lots of tea and water. Take more medication whenever he reasonably can. Never, ever, let anyone see how sick he is. He has been following this mantra since his late teens. Royalty isn’t allowed to miss an event because of a cold. It simply isn’t done to stay in bed when there are hands to press and ribbons to cut.

pictures of you (pictures of me) by yeolocity

alex keeps polaroids.

If You Love Something by allmylovesatonce

Alex calls Henry to tell him a funny incident from his day. When a miscommunication sends them both reeling, both of them are questioning if the other is wanting to end their relationship. Their friends take things upon themselves to get them to see eye to eye.

An Amateur's Guide to Piping That Cream and Beating That Meat by firenati0n

Alex invites Henry to his Extremely Specific and Ethnic Friendsgiving dinner, issuing a stern warning—no beige foods and no colonizer behavior. So basically, Henry's screwed. In an effort to find the perfect recipe, Henry stumbles upon a popular TikTok chef who thirst traps from the neck down and flusters Henry to his core. But his food is banging, along with the bod. A recipe for feral disaster. Or, Alex is an anonymous thirst-trapping chef on TikTok. Henry is an amateur cook who needs a recipe for Friendsgiving. Alex knows Henry's watching. Henry doesn't know it's Alex. Shenanigans ensue.

it's midnight in Texas by viciouslyqueer

When Henry mentions a charity polo match in Connecticut, Alex doesn’t think much of it. When Henry asks him on a date and puts him on a plane to Paris, Alex smiles and lets himself be romanced. When Henry says he wants to do it right, Alex is too in love to protest.

we should get married by smc_27

He’d spent most of the week sitting on the floor with his laptop open on the table, typing away about absolute nonsense in between sessions and phone calls with immigration and a lawyer trying to see if it’s possible there’s any way in the world he can stay in America while this gets sorted. The good news is this doesn’t bar him from trying again and just returning when it all gets sorted. Not that that will be easy, but still. It’s a possibility. He makes the absolutely foolish mistake, after pouring his second drink, of googling ‘marriage visa’ as if that will be the answer to any or all of his problems. Allows himself a brief, excruciating moment to imagine he has someone to marry and make that a reality. But then…he does, does he not? OR, a greencard marriage AU

i need that charles dickens by @whimsymanaged

Henry’s flatmate (and crush) Alex is suddenly obsessed with Charles Dickens. But when Henry asks to borrow Alex’s Dickens, he quickly learns that Alex hasn’t, in fact, been talking about a book.

Amazed at How We Talk (Once, Successfully) by @sparklepocalypse

And, well. Fuck that guy. Alex isn’t about to rub elbows with people who can’t even stand to be in the same room as him. Alex isn’t sulking when he sidles up to the bar and steals a man’s whisky. He also isn’t sulking when he obtains a second glass, this one neat. Or when he snags a large plate of canapés from one of the waitstaff and nonchalantly strolls out of the room. (Movieverse; a riff on the trope that asks, What if Cakegate didn't happen?)

like a bridge over troubled water, i will ease your mind by anincompletelist

And then— relief. So palpable that it sends more tears springing to his eyes, a sob at his lips that Henry quiets with a kiss. Everything from the past week was so much, had been building up pretty much from the moment Henry first left, and leaving him teetering on the edge of fine and definitively, very much not fine, one more useless appearance or shitty headline away from breaking into a million pieces. And shatter he had. But somehow, by some miracle, he’d been able to wait until Henry was here, was back with him in their home, to do it. His safety net, his safe place, his everything; the only one capable of holding all of his broken shards and figuring out how to piece them all back together again in the aftermath. The only one who has asked for the privilege of being there to do it.

Truth by cmere

Alex always does this, hauls every base fucking instinct that Henry has out into the open between them, plain for both to see. And every time it happens, Henry expects him to laugh it off or give him a hard time, but instead he just encourages it with soft, pliant lips and greedy fingers until Henry gives in to himself and his desires. Alex has never made him feel bad, or odd, or disgusting, always treats him with the utmost patience and care. Henry loves him so fucking much. It's just past midnight on Alex's birthday and he's going to get what he wants. Which is, of course, to give Henry what he wants.

as always, if you want me to tag you in future lists just let me know!

@starkfridays @stilesgivesmefeels @midnightsfp

[dany36]

some more commentary from the FFCC remastered edition OST booklet, including some words from Donna Burke! just love reading how much this game's music means to the people involved with breathing it to life. but most importantly, i wanted to include Ryoma Araki's comments since all of it rang true, especially this part:

The period instruments used in the score breathe life into the world, and the game wouldn't be the same without them. To my knowledge, no other title has put such instruments front and center before or since, or elevated game music like this one has.

full transcript for the images above found after the jump :)

Commentary from Ryoma Araki (game director):

To this day, the soundtrack of FINAL FANTASY CRYSTAL CHRONICLES holds special memories for many people. The period instruments used in the score breathe life into the world, and the game wouldn't be the same without them. To my knowledge, no other title has put such instruments front and center before or since, or elevated game music like this one has. When this remaster project began, we were adamant that the game mustn't lose that identity. Initially we aimed to keep the music exactly as it was when the game first released, but Hidenori Iwasaki is a stickler for quality and pushed us to include the original music and the retouched versions -- now both are available in the game. The new songs and rerecorded vocals are of the highest caliber. In our eyes, there was no room for compromise. Without a shadow of a doubt, this album is the collective work of the best music specialists I've had the pleasure of working with.

Commentary from Yae (Vocals, Storytelling Narration):

Hello, I'm Yae. I did the vocals for "Morning Sky" and "Moonless Starry Night," as well as the narration in the main game. The main themes "Morning Sky" and "Moonless Starry Night" are infused with musical influences from around the world that create beautiful and magnificent melodies. The remaster features new records, and I was honored to be a part of them. I've grown as a person since the game's original release, and I hope people can discern the added maturity in my singing voice. I sang with heartfelt love and emotion, and I hope that this journey of adventure gives players the courage they need to overcome even the most difficult of times.

Commentary from Donna Burke (Vocals, Storytelling Narration, Lyrics Translation):

Words cannot express how grateful I am that FFCC has been remastered and released for a whole new generation of gamers. Back in 2003 it was thrilling to be asked to sing, adapt lyrics and narrate for a FF game and I am so proud to be a part of the Final Fantasy world. I love singing "Moonless Starry Night" and "Morning Sky" at my concerts. The songs are filled with longing and emotion and I wish you all love and joy as you play this game and listen to the new updated recordings.

Commentary from Masahiro Kataoka (Studio R.E.E.L.) / Lyrics

Since FINAL FANTASY CRYSTAL CHRONICLES was made, right up to today, I've felt that the memories of our journeys should be held in high esteem. This is because our journeys are spun of a story that's one-of-a-kind, utterly irreplaceable. Every player who traversed the world of FINAL FANTASY CRYSTAL CHRONICLES holds their own personal memories of the journey. Memories of the many towns, forests, and mountains. Memories spanning over many years of adventure. Those cherished moments transformed into light, and then hope, and traveled here, to now, to the future! Now the stage is set for those travelers to create new memories that spin new tales, cast new rays of light that live on in their hearts. I'd be delighted if the hope for the future that shines in these stories inspires the same in every player.

[thisworldisablackhole]

Your Ghost In Glass Drowning to Escape the Fire

🌕🌕🌕🌑🌑

FFO: 2000s EMO, POST-HARDCORE, SENSES FAIL / LISTEN

Your Ghost In Glass is a one man solo project based out of Los Angeles, CA which aims to recreate the raw intensity of 2000s post hardcore bands like Senses Fail and... mostly Senses Fail, if we're being honest. Cameron McBride's first EP under the Your Ghost In Glass moniker was almost a perfect recreation of the vibe that Let It Enfold You brought to the world in 2004. It was honestly impressive how he managed to capture the pure essence of songwriting, guitar playing and vocal delivery which made Senses Fail's early material so raucous and heartfelt. Now with his debut full length, Cameron continues to pen his love letter to a bygone era of music which is held so deeply in many of our hearts, with varying degrees of success.

At it's core, Drowning to Escape the Fire is a passionate and convincing resuscitation of emotional guitar driven music with a heart-on-your-sleeve approach to vocals and lyrics. It suffers a bit from a patchy DIY production job, but the fact that this was recorded by one person in a bedroom adds a bit of context and forgivability there. The programmed drums in particular are a bit of an obstacle to enjoyment. Despite providing the album with a solid infusion of energy, the hits are static and not mixed very well. On my first listen, I found the kick drum to be so loud and distracting that it actually made it hard to focus on the songs. It's a shame, because the guitar and vocal takes are so rich and organic, and the artificial drum tracks don't give them the support they deserve. I found these songs actually sounded the best when blasted out of my phone speaker, so your mileage may vary depending on your soundsystem. The whole thing is raw and imperfect, but underneath the flaws lies some seriously infectious song writing and attention grabbing hooks that will have your head bobbing in no time. Cameron's songwriting is at it's best when it's loud and in your face, with songs like "Pistol in a Pulpit", "Cellophane Veil", "Porcelain Heart" and "Don't Look at the Sky" being obvious highlights for their hurricane of dizzying riffs and intense vocal performances very reminiscent of a young Buddy Nielsen. On the flip side, "Hospice" is too barebones and mellow for it's own good, and songs like "Heaven in Flames" and the title track closer suffer heavily from out of place Owl City-esque synthesizers and awkward religious-centered lyrics that miss the mark in their attempt to be ironic or thoughtful. Still, the pros far outweigh the cons here, as the good moments on this album are very well done and offer a high level of emotional engagement.

If you're looking for something to scratch the itch that Senses Fail left behind in the mid 2000s, then Drowning to Escape the Fire will make for a fun, 43 minute blast of nostalgia. Unfortunately, it's staying power is handicapped by the drum production and a few unsavory songs that you might just want to remove from the playlist in order to maximize your enjoyment. Regardless, Your Ghost In Glass is an act to keep your eye on, because I believe with time, and perhaps a real drummer, the project will only improve.

[iuteamstarcandy]

[TRANS] Last Fantasy Album and Song Introductions

ALBUM INTRODUCTION

IU, who filled the whole world with ‘Good Day’ last year, is finally coming back with a new album for her fans. IU's new album [Last Fantasy] is a full-length album that she has released 2 years after her 1st album [Growing Up] and this album was produced by Cho Young-chul, who created the ‘IU Syndrome’ last year. Producer Cho Young-chul focused on approaching and expressing IU's musicality in more diverse ways through this album.

The meaning behind the title of the new album, [Last Fantasy], is that the album depicts all the thoughts, imaginations, and fantasies of IU as she looks upon the beginning of her 20s, in this moment at the end of her teenage years and the album contains various sides of IU that music fans want from her through her songs. This 2nd full-length album, which contains a total of 13 songs, attracts much attention with the participation of the best musicians and composers in Korea. Musicians who need no further explanation, including Kim Kwang-jin, Yoon Sang, Jung Jae-hyung, Lee Juck, Kim Hyung-seok, Jung Suk-won, Kim Hyun-chul, Yoon Jong-shin, Lee Min-soo, Corinne Bailey Rae, G. Gorilla, and Ra.D, all participated in IU's full-length album.

As this is IU’s first full-length album in a long time, she put in all her efforts and sincerity from many different angles, to make the album more perfect. In addition to putting her own self-composed song on the album, IU participated in writing the lyrics for a number of songs, showing a more mature side to her musical sensibility and carefully considered what the right tone would be for each song, as she did her best to improve the completion of the album.

First of all, the first track, ‘Secret’, is the work of composer Jung Suk-won, showing intense charm as a song that opens the door to IU’s second full-length album. Featuring an arrangement that emphasizes a clear story development and contrast, the song begins with IU's clear tone and a lyrical melody, then develops gradually with vocals that become more powerful and the grand sound of rock opera. Standing at the center of the song, IU showed powerful vocals that led all the music with her. The second track, ‘Sleeping Prince’, is the work of Yoon Sang, a composer who brought out IU's deep emotions with ‘Only I Didn't Know’. This song, which was brought to life again with an innocent charm that only IU can show, allows the listener to experience clear and bright emotions as if one were watching a fairytale. Just like how composer Yoon Sang felt that it was fortunate that IU sang this song when she was a teenager, IU's cute vocals and the warm arrangement meet to produce this high-quality song.

The third track, ‘Holding a Star in My Heart’ is a song by Kim Kwang-jin that conveys a deep sound that cannot be described with words. IU's vocals that sound like she is calmly reciting the song, together with the slow-flowing melodies, give a comforting feeling and Kim Kwang-jin's voice at the end of the song is touching to hear. The song, infused deeply with composer Kim Kwang-jin’s unique emotions, appeals to different generations. The fourth track, ‘YOU&I’, the title track of this second full-length album, is a collaboration between composer Lee Min-soo and lyricist Kim Eana, who created ‘Good Day’, and conveys IU's diverse emotions and upgraded musicality. ‘YOU&I’ is a song that once again showcases the charm of IU's vocals, with a mysterious and strange concept of a teenage girl who travels through time into the future. With a composition that crosses minor and major chords, a musical arrangement that stands out with its colorful and fantasy-like feeling of real sound using instruments rarely found in pop songs such as harp and horn, the song also allows you to experience IU's diverse vocal expression ability.

The fifth track, ‘Wallpaper Pattern’ is the work of composer Yoon Jong-shin, which shows IU's subtle emotions. It is a song that combines lyrical melodies with IU's warm tone and IU's interpretation of the song stands out as she perfectly interprets poetic lyrics that express ordinary emotions experienced in our daily lives. In particular, composer Jung Suk-won participated in the arrangement, giving it a more detailed sound. IU's song of encouragement for all the uncles in the world! The sixth track is ‘Uncle’ with composer Lee Juck. This song was completed with a discussion between IU and Lee Juck and IU's ‘aegyo’ (cute) tone captures the hearts of uncles along with the bouncy melody of the song. Lee Juck's rap made by IU's forced(?) request and IU's shout-out to her uncles are highlights to pay attention to in the song.

‘Wisdom Tooth’ is the work of composer G.Gorilla, who is loved by fans for his unique emotions, and is a song about the heart of a girl who suffered the heartache of her first love. As it is her first love, IU participated in writing the lyrics, to express more strongly the heartache from the perspective of a teenager in a pure and fun way and IU actually wrote the lyrics of the song after talking to her mother, expressing her honest feelings. ‘Everything's Alright’, the eighth track with a fast tempo and exciting feeling, is the work of composer Kim Hyun-chul. The song, which depicts the cold atmosphere of fighting with a lover, brings out that atmosphere by combining the warm sound of the actual performance and the harmony of IU and composer Kim Hyun-chul, who also featured in the song, and has a charm to it that leaves a lasting impression.

The ninth track, ‘Last Fantasy’, is the work of composer Kim Hyung-suk, and sounds even larger in scale than you would imagine a movie soundtrack to sound like. This song, which contains the grandeur of the 50-member orchestra, is a grand song that lasts more than six minutes and overwhelms its listeners. It is an impressive song that expresses IU's present state at the end of her teenage years with lyrics that ask someone to hold her hand so that she doesn’t fall into her dream when she opens the door to reality. The tenth track, ‘Teacher’ is by composer Ra.D, which IU also participated in writing the lyrics for. It is a song customized for IU from the start and a lot of time was invested in writing the lyrics to include all kinds of thoughts and concerns that 19-year-old IU had. The calm acoustic sound and emotional vocals of IU and Ra.D are combined to complete the charming song.

The eleventh track, ‘The Abandoned’, is a self-composed song written by IU. ‘The Abandoned’, which gives the feeling of a deep darkness, is a song that IU has worked on for a long time, and goes contrary to the bright side of herself that she has shown so far. This self-composed song by IU brings out her deep inner emotions that we never imagined her to have, instilling another kind of expectation from her fans with regard to her potential. The twelfth track, ‘4AM’, is a song by British singer-songwriter Corinne Bailey Rae, with lyrics written by IU and the song was completed with a collaborative effort between the two. The lyrics draw attention with their depiction of the unstable emotions at 4 a.m. and IU's deep vocals that she has not shown before allows the song leave an impression on the listener. IU sang this song by Corinne Bailey Rae, a musician she has said she loves the most since her debut, and that makes the song mean a lot to IU.

The finale of the full-length album, ‘L'amant’, is a song that allows the listener to experience the musical emotions of composer Jung Jaehyung as they are, through his work. IU’s mournful and thick vocals that flow through the sorrowful jazz melody add to the flair of the song. This song, which was fully completed with IU’s song interpretation ability, is a song that allows us to imagine the future of IU who shows that she can pull off a variety of genres. IU's second full-length album can be said to be a record that will remind the digital music generation of the ‘value of the album’ just by the team of participating musicians and the high quality of the songs. Let us all listen to the ‘charm of music’ that IU, who is highly anticipated by fans for her musical ability that combines musicality and popular appeal, will present through this album.

Translated by IUteamstarcandy

Source: Melon

[adevotedappraisal]

Kendrick Lamar discography review

Section.80 (2011)

***1/2

An assured and confident debut, the album shines when it's at its most focused. Highlights include "Ronald Reagan Era," which sets up the chaos and violent energy he was brought up in, both beat-wise and lyrically, and "HiiPower," an anthem that challenges you to rise above your conditions and "build your own pyramids." In between though, there are sleepy experiments like "Chapter Six," which sounds like an Outkast throwaway, the subdued observations of "Poe Mans Dreams" and "Hol Up," which is more peppy fun than substantial. Still, Section.80 is remembered by its heights and the potential of the young rapper buzzing around the verses of these songs about Compton, the main context of his later albums.

Key tracks: HiiiPower; Ronald Reagan Era; Ab Souls Outro

Good Kid MAAD City (2012)

*****

This album remained indelible and unique throughout this decade because, like the Notorious BIGs Ready To Die (1995), it is a storytelling album where the pieces are just as equal as the sum of the story. The peacock singalong of "Backstreet Freestyle," the dreamy hymnal of "Bitch Don't Kill My Vibe" and one of his best singles, "Poetic Justice" with Drake, are all classics that transcend the coming-of-age story. In album highlight "Sing For Me, I'm Dying of Thirst," the lyrics are raw, emotional, centered on death and spiritual redemption, the beats are mournful and grumbling, while reel to reel tape flickers throughout the epic, rendering the song, the story, and the film it's painting in our mind perfect and balanced.

Key tracks: Backstreet Freestyle; Poetic Justice; Sing For Me, I'm Dying of Thirst

To Pimp a Butterfly (2015)

*****

Dense with ideas and textures, this 2015 set is steeped in Jazz saxophone squalling across the songs, with thick basslines anchoring the majority of the songs, and harmonies swooping and swaying every now and then. "King Kunta" shakes its butt back and forth, "Mortal Man" ruminates like a cloud, while "These Walls" does both at the same time. Obsessed with blackness in all forms, from Pac to Mandela to the homeless man on the curb, Kendrick unveils these characters with new flows and voices, while the crew of producers make it "sloppy, like a Chevy in quicksand," creating something unique, warm and proud in the process. Widely considered a classic rap album of the decade.

Key tracks: Wesley's Theory; Mortal Man; Alright; The Blacker the Berry

untitled unmastered (2016)

***1/2

A collection of leftovers from the To Pimp a Butterfly era has it's own singular charm, dressed in Pimp's sophistication of Jazz-rap squall without all the stuffy importance. "Untitled 2" is a moody seance, Kendrick rapping images of divination over a brooding trap crawl, and "Untitled 5" is the closest to the Jazz-rap sound of Pimp, with a cool verse by labelmate Jay Rock, the beat littered with piano and saxophone runs. Untitled's lack of a unifying high-minded concept is its strongest feature, it's Kendrick without some of the overwrought themes that stiffen some of his later albums, "you be in your feelings I be in my bag you bitches," he crows on "Untitled 7." What this means is no towering classic song on the set, even as it satisfies as a whole.

Key tracks: Untitled 7; Untitled 2; Untitled 5

DAMN. (2017)

****

A far more conventional album than the Jazz-infused To Pimp a Butterfly, the textures are laced together and more palatable here, with the hermetic groove of "FEEL" followed by the shiny confessional thump of "LOYALTY" and so forth. Kendrick is at the top of his form, dealing with rivals on "HUMBLE," recreating the pot-boiling terror of a belt-wielding mother on "FEAR," and conjuring a tale across states, family and time frames, co-starring a gun and a chicken shop, on closer "DUCKWORTH." A unique grower of an album that comes off as his It Was Written, a follow-up to a classic too chart-minded for it's own good.

Key tracks: DUCKWORTH; XXX; DNA

Mr. Morale and the Big Steppers (2022)

****

A fascinating and immersive look at a contemplated life-in-progress, accomplished in a raw yet sophisticated turn, bringing to mind Jay Zs 444 from 2017 and Marvin Gaye's 1978 divorce album Here, My Dear. These confessionals, while eye-opening, can slow down the momentum of the double album at points, like with the lethargic "Mother I Sober" and "Rich Interlude." When this balance between music and message is just right, you get the kinetic, descriptive "United in Grief" and the restless brilliance of "Count Me Out," two of the best songs the Compton, California native has written.

Key tracks: Count Me Out; Worldwide Steppers; United in Grief

[sheerioswifties]

Sfjafuafuaffsaf so I finished my Midnights themed nail art (I'll post on IG at some point) and had to go get my infusion today at a different oncology center than normal so the nurse (who just met me) was getting me set up getting ready to put the IV in and she sees my nails and is all "oh your nails are cute! -" *leans in closer to look at details* "what are they-" and yeah so my grown ass, sick af self starts going off "sooooo I'm a huge Taylor Swift fan and she's dropping a new album this month!!" (yes I literally said, to this other grown ass woman, that she's dropping, not has a new album/is putting out a new album... she's dropping an album-) but so she's like "oh! I had no idea she had a new album?!" and I went into the whole thing. I told her about the VMA's and the surprise announcement (I did decide to forego explaining how she literally threw folklore and evermore at us out of effing nowhere) and I tried to explain how she likes to do this to us and leave clues and easter eggs and the nurse is just looking at my nails like ?????? and I look and I'm thinking okay there...isn't time, there just isn't time to explain everything like the Midnights Madness With Me or the red phone or the lighter so I just told her about the 5 different album colors and showed those aafafafuufafzuzfjfja and the clock and obvs the title Midnights and yeah so that happened

[sendmyresignation]

In Defense of Teenagers:

Ok so. There seems to be a general consensus that Teenagers doesn’t fit on the black parade or that it ruins the trajectory of the album or that the song order of bp needs to be changed to fit the b-sides and drop Teenagers, or it should have just been a single- basically any option other than its inclusion between Sleep and Disenchanted would have been better. now, i’m not here to tell anyone that they’re wrong- i just want to offer an alternative perspective because i truly believe Teenagers is right where it belongs and that its inclusion on that album is, in my opinion, completely necessary to the album’s narrative arc. I want to focus on the way Teenagers builds into the foundation of the Concept Record, the way it bridges the gap between Sleep and Disenchanted so as not to delegitimize Disenchanted’s impact, and the fact that no other available material fits into the struggle the Patient endures at the end of the narrative (sorry this got LONG here’s a read more)

So, before we get into the meat of Teenager’s narrative significance, i wanted to briefly mention the way it makes Black Parade a more cohesive whole in relation to the material it is mimicking. Like Black Parade as an album is structured very differently from Pink Floyd’s The Wall- but it takes a lot of the same beats and recontextualizes them for a new purpose. Both records use war and relationship troubles and school and drugs to create an atmosphere that leads to disillusionment. In The Wall, this is quite literally the protagonist, Pink, building up “bricks in the wall” that isolates him from the rest of society and lead to a downward spiral into cynicism and hate. But Black Parade uses the same tools that The Wall does to say something different- things, specifically the actions you've made or the trauma you've endured, haunts you and makes your life seem insignificant in the face of what happens to you and those regrets are what causes the Patient to fall into a cycle of damnation and cynicism. This is representative of the Patient's descent through the afterlife- each new "layer" of the Patient's exploration is equivalent to a brick in The Wall's metaphor. Additionally, in this new context, this song in particular takes The Wall’s discussions of adolescence and the vice-grip control older generations attempt to force on teens and the disillusionment with the future and retells it from a new perspective- both literally in the fact the song is now more reflective of the 2000s post-9/11 and post-columbine culture, but its also literally from the perspective of the Patient as an adult. Teenagers, as a result, becomes a necessary piece of that puzzle- it is the refraction of Another Brick in the Wall repurposed to mean something new entirely- it’s no longer about kids being forced into complacency by a cruel education system from their own perspective (the children’s choir allows them to speak for themselves) but about the ways in which adults see those kids and why they decide to enact actions similar to those within The Wall. I mean even the imagery used in the song’s music video is purposely almost plagiarizing The Wall- it feeds into a separate analysis of the video and song outside the narrative as well- which i don’t have time right now to get into, its just very interesting that the band is bodily removed from their instruments at the end of the video and the teenagers in the audience have rendered them incapacitated (“they’re looking for a rockstar to kill” anyone?) it's the metaphorical tearing down of the wall from a completely different perspective. Anyway, the work Teenagers does for the narrative is it fits the album into the Concept Record Cinematic Universe- it is a piece that evokes the material it is influenced by to build off of the old to create the new- without it, the connections to The Wall would still be there, sure, but it wouldn’t be as complete- you cannot recontextualize the album without the foundation of Teenagers.

Teenagers is also, at its core, a subtle subversion of genre- using the blueprint of a specific kind of song to center the song within the timeline/narrative. In this case, the same way I Don’t Love You mimics and exaggerates the emotive and plaintive 80s rock ballad, Teenagers twists the classic rock of a bygone era to specifically call back on the stadium rock anthem.  Black Parade, on the whole, does this quite frequently- most of its songs take pre-existing genre cues and subverts them in ways that play off of the expected tapestry of a concept record to create individual sounding songs that seamlessly transition into one another yet remain entirely separate. It maintains their presence as scenes in a larger tapestry- specifically the fabric of the Black Parade being a morality play. This serves two purposes, it allows for this exaggeration of genre to become a motif within the work (see mama, cancer, house of wolves, i don’t love you, wttbp -> they all play with a different, varied song type/structure that is distinct from each other) and it plays off of existing genre-stereotypes in ways that contribute to the songs overall function. I Don’t Love You, for example, undermines the fundamental purposes of sappy power ballads- to express one of the two dualities of love songs: the cheesy unconditional “i will love you forever” types or the plaintive, melancholic end-of-relationship song by instead focusing on the complexity of a not-quite-finished relationship. The ballad then shifts from an expression of love to one of human loss- and the loss is less about the individual speaking, but moreso about what the other character has become - it’s a mourning not for the relationship, but for the person themselves, who they used to be in a way. It shifts from the one-dimensional view of what a ballad can achieve and instead infuses the anger, the resignation, the drama, the transformation- it humanizes a very stock genre full of platitudes and uses our expectations to create something more interesting. Similarly, Teenagers takes a tired genre and utilizes the working mechanisms of its typical song structure to subvert and repurpose those into commentary- its literally a stadium rock song that devolves into a chant. Looking at the loud drumbeat that resonates in your chest, the all together now as a command that lures the listener into singing along, the addition of more chorus vocals at the end like a crowd is shouting along, the screaming and the solo on after another like the song is falling apart a little bit, all of these elements build into a song literally meant to be infectious and replicated by the audience. Herein lies one of the songs many interpretations- humans can be easily influenced by the media they consume, the perspectives they are fed. What happens when the view that we have of adolescence is cloaked in mistrust and violence? This aspect of the song is less about the band reconciling teenagers being moved to committing acts of violence and more in analyzing how an audience can be persuaded into believing the erroneous view of teens as fundamentally destructive- are you not repeating the chorus? do teenagers not “scare the shit out of you”? Obviously the band doesn’t want you to believe this but it does what you to think about why this perspective is so common. It's a cultural subliminal message that is present in songs and tv and books that we simply do not question- it is a chant we cannot help but join in on. Teenagers is a replication of that process, but is clearly just subversive enough (both as a piece of genre and just as a song in general terms) that the listener knows its commentary and not itself propagating that viewpoint. Every song on Black Parade does this kind of “genre-bending” to make a point in some way or another, so it's a significant reason Teenagers fits into the albums cohesion.

But,Teenagers isn’t just important to the album in its sound- it lyrically parallels Disenchanted in a way that effectively moves on from Sleep without losing the album’s emotional momentum. Sleep, conceptually and lyrically, is a very heavy track- its influence from the Dune soundtrack’s Final Dream turn a cinematic, swelling piece of instrumentation into an oppressive blanket of noise that bears down on the listener and the lyrics are referential to the patient believing themselves to be irredeemable and monstrous. It's also inspired directly from Gerard’s vivid and violent night terrors during his stay at the paramour- including a recording of Gerard’s recollection of those dreams, that mentions being choked, seeing loved ones die, burning alive, etc. To transition directly from such a dark, personal subject into a reflective acoustic number about the narrator’s adolescence would be tonally inappropriate and almost laughable- it would stop the progression in its tracks, while also doing a disservice to Disenchanted. Having a break is necessary! And it's even more appropriate for that break to be a song about teenagers considering Disenchanted is so nostalgic. Additionally, Teenagers brings up a really interesting narrative thread about the Patient becoming disenchanted with the youth that then directly transitions into a song about him losing faith in his values and sense of self- they are directly correlated conceptually. Looking deeper, Disenchanted is a punk song. sort of. more specifically, it is the foundation of a punk song that becomes a ballad through narrative framing- it takes punk cliches (running from the cops, the crowds, the imagery of guillotining traitorous rich celebrities) and turns them wistful and sad because the Patient is looking back at something they no longer understand or identify with, it allows the narrative to illustrate how the Patient feels like their life was worthless and didn’t amount to much and they’re just another stupid punk kid who grew up and didn’t achieve anything. and you can’t get to this point from Sleep because it would weaken Disenchanted’s impact, make it seem insignificant and petulant in the face of Sleep’s heavy and grand sorrow. Lyrically, you need Teenagers to bridge the gap between the war metaphors and the visualizations of hell and the all-encompassing nature of cancer in order to redirect the focus to the Patient and limit the scope of the narrative at the end of the album. Teenagers, within the story, then functions as the Patient reflecting on the nature of youth and, in the wake of Mama’s “we all go to hell” rhetoric, comes to the conclusion that teenagers are wholly violent, easily manipulated, and unsympathetic. It's another step in the Patient removing his own agency and viewing his life as predestined at the same time it allows the “plot” to focus back on the more nostalgic and mundane aspects of the patient’s life. Doing so makes Famous Last Words so much more significant because it forces the Patient to reconcile with his past before he can move forward (whether that's living or dying its still applicable). so, Teenagers is very important to the overall “plot” of Black Parade- it is fundamentally necessary for the pieces to fit together.

Another larger aspect of Teenagers' importance is that it introduces the fate versus free will internal debate central to the ending fourth of the record. The song lays the foundation for this thematic idea by being about the fated violence of the youth and how they cannot help but to respond to their world with anger and cruelty. This realization about adolescence by the Patient leads to him perceiving his own youth as destructive and worthless and in following the themes of guilt/regret and damnation it's this violence that began his path to hell or his current state of suffering.  In that vein, Teenagers leads into the idea that your life is predetermined or that there is a destiny that we all have (in the Patient’s case its the absence of a future, or “a lifelong wait for a hospital stay”) and no matter what, you cannot fight that. While Mama gives a blanket statement about how "we all go to hell", Disenchanted centers the Patient's specific destiny by saying his whole life has led up to his illness and, looking further, there is the implication that life before that was retrospectively pointless. So, as previously mentioned, Disenchanted begins, structurally and lyrically, as a punk song- this sort of expression of youthful existence that, in any other song or under another faster instrumentation, would fit on some basement demo from 1986. But it doesn't stay that way, instead it actively subverts the genre it's cliches are lifted from- thinking specifically about “we ran from the cops” and the “roar of the crowd” that is juxtaposed with the change in structure  or theme. Namely, punk songs (speaking generally here) aren’t wistful because there isn't really a sense of legacy in punk music. There's history yes, but most songs are about the immediacy of emotion, not existential questioning. The retrospective nature and the shift into a ballad structure are elements reflective of a change in the main character brought on by the disillusionment present in teenagers from a punk kid to a dying young man looking back on the banality of youth and the hypocrisy, the trauma and the lack of agency. It's so much easier to think that nothing matters and the perspective makes it so much easier to give up.

This build from Teenagers into Disenchanted regarding the Patient's fate allows Famous Last Words to become an even stronger end because it's in direct opposition to that perspective. Famous Last Words is a song that screams fuck fate and fuck the past- the only thing that matters is moving forward. The image of the Patient keeping on whether he’s walking into the afterlife or continuing to stay alive as long as possible becomes something difficult, something he had to fight to achieve - he had to struggle to find a new understanding. That he can't be "afraid to keep living" or "going home" and that these are concrete actions, a use of free will. And that free will is very specifically defiant. Regardless of how you view the Patient's end, he makes the conscious decision to accept the present and move forward. We are not fated to die alone, nor is life worthless. Black Parade proves that the opposite is true, that we must grow to accept the value of life, and it's so much stronger having the Patient actively reject nihilism and apathy. Ultimately, Teenagers introduces the main thread of the final songs and without it, those songs would be narrative incomplete.

So, Teenagers has a valued place on the album sonically and within the narrative whole, that much is clear. But another reason that the album order of Sleep, Teenagers and Disenchanted is important is that none of the other material written for the album comes close to filling its place. In this case, I am going to be specifically talking about the b-sides since the demos are incomplete and we have no idea what the final version would have sounded like (but I would contend they don’t fit either). Beginning with the easiest song to discard from the narrative- My Way Home Is Through You has its moments in the lyrics but it's completely out of place musically- plus the tone is a little too hopeful for this point in the album which does not gel with Disenchanted’s hopelessness. It's also incongruent with the album since Disenchanted is effective as the only “punk” song on a record that plays with and explores genre and having this come before it would ruin the previously mentioned motif of each of the songs being individual and unique in form. Also, it really adds nothing to the fate vs free will theme- meaning its placement would weaken the disenchanted/flw combo ending. Moving forward, Kill All Your Friends seems to fit, considering its cynicism and nostalgia, but the bridge (“you’ll never get me alive, you’ll never take me alive, do what it takes to survive and I'm still here") doesn’t fit the Patient’s slow decent into apathy at all and contradicts Disenchanted’s loss of faith in the idea of living- it's too hopeful and centers survival and resilience in a way that makes it an ineffective substitute for Teenagers as a bridge song. And finally, Heaven Help Us is too religiously centered- it would refocus the fate vs free will discussion in the context of god/angels when that isn’t a theme in the album up to this point (hell is the grounded point of the album- the protagonist has already accepted their fate by Mama- having a reconciliation with a lack of faith or the absence of God seems completely out of left field when its just not an established part of the narrative) Black Parade is actually one of the mcr albums with the least references to god/angels in the heavenly religious sense- more centered around the human struggle against determinism: the usage of damnation is Catholic inspired but divorced from the division of hell vs heaven and is instead about guilt and worthiness and agency. The presence of angels or god or any divinity would simply weaken the narrative by expanding the album's focus outside its own limitations. Also, the Patient isn't ever a martyred figure, if anything he is purposely pathetic. Including any comparison of the Patient to Christ ("give you all the nails you need") or a saint unravels the key feature of the Patient's character: that he is insignificant. His insignificance and his struggles with his past actions make him a character who must find the strength to live through the guilt and pain to prove that everyone is worthy of life. The overarching purpose of Black Parade is emphasizing that no matter what we've done and how dirty we feel, we can move forward and either accept our afterlife or we can find value in being alive. Because of this contradiction, Heaven Help Us destroys the central theme of the entire album if it is included. With all of this in mind, it seems to me that the b-sides are their own nebulous thing- they don’t tonally fit on Black Parade (though I do think they fit together and are interconnected thematically) but any of them would break the flow since they seem angrier and gritter in a way that is noticeably absent and would be at odds with from a lot of Parade’s resignation. They also just do not complete the narrative, they are simple not as good as Teenagers at bringing all the pieces together.

If I still haven’t convinced you, a bonus reason Teenagers is a valuable memeber of the Black Parade tracklist, Ray was the only one who believed in the song- he called it genius (x) so listen to mr chemical romance himself telling you the song is Good and Important :)

anyway now you should, at the very least respect teenagers based on a couple thematic ideas expressed here, if not also understand why it’s imperative to black parade as an album, as well as the narrative itself. <3

[thebowerypresents]

Punch Brothers’ Considerable Talents on Display at Beacon Theatre Punch Brothers – Beacon Theatre – March 2, 2022

“Don’t judge a book by its cover” is a well-worn idiom we’ve all been told—there’s more than meets the eye. With the Punch Brothers, that’s certainly the case. To look at the quintet in front of a packed house at the Beacon Theatre on Wednesday night was to see a classic string band: mandolin, banjo, guitar, fiddle and upright bass all huddled around a single microphone in the center of the stage. And in fact, the first half of their set leaned heavily on classic material taken from their latest album, Hell on Church Street. That album is a reimagining of the late Tony Rice’s Church Street Blues album, which is itself a progressive take on bluegrass traditionals. So yes, the no-relation Brothers—Chris Thile on mandolin, Noam Pikelny on banjo, Chris Eldridge on guitar, Gabe Witcher on fiddle, and Paul Kowert on bass—were wearing the “cover” of a traditional bluegrass band. But by the time these songs got to the stage Wednesday night, the story they told went well beyond the picture on the cover.

The second half of the show was a masterful weaving of musical storylines and genre-defying compositions. “The Blind Leaving the Blind” was a full-on song suite, Thile leading the group through a downright Mozartian set of sections, dizzying complexities matched by the skill of the musicians. The instrumental “Jungle Bird” felt equally byzantine with little symphonic pieces interacting with one another, mind-enhancing solos on banjo, fiddle, guitar and mandolin that went beyond categorization but maintained a groove, nonetheless. “It’s All Part of the Plan” was more terrestrial, an indie-rock vibe with a prog-rock-on-strings twist, Thile’s vocals going mandolin staccato then violin drawn-out, Pikelny providing one of many impressive banjo solos midway through.

The set had a controlled inertia as songs bled from one into the next, the band orbiting around the single microphone, creating and then manipulating the dynamics of volume and tempo as a single unit. The closing pair of “The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald,” one of the covers-of-a-cover-of-a-cover tracks from the album, and “Rye Whiskey,” a crowd-favorite Punch Brothers original, was an exercise in dynamics to the extreme, everyone in the audience on their feet, hooting along with the band by the end. The encore opened an instrumental hootenanny, “Watch ’at Breakdown,” Pikelny again combining progressive notions to the traditional banjo solo, Thile playing just one more of countless wow! mandolin solos throughout the night, and Eldridge saving his best for last, not quite channeling Tony Rice, but infused with his beyond-Americana spirit. The performance ended with “Julep,” the Punch Brothers at their best—singing about booze, all five instruments in a complicated, beautiful dance together, the whole concept of genre reduced to nothing, a book without a cover altogether. —A. Stein | @Neddyo

(Punch Brothers play the State Theatre in Portland, Maine, on Saturday.)

Photos courtesy of Maggie V. Miles | @Maggievmiles

[dandaelions]

finally some good fcking food aka "empathy" thoughts

I woke up bright and early, got dressed, made some coffee and cut up some peaches, warmed up a croissant that I got from a local bakery yesterday, and sat down to listen with a ksoo-state of mind. then my supervisor suddenly asked me to join a meeting (so much for blocking off my calendar 🙃) aaaaand then I got busy all day lol but now I've finally got some free time to soak this in

rose: a simple acoustic track – more brighter and upbeat than “that’s okay” but still in the same vein. it feels a bit run-of-the-mill if I’m being completely honest, but that's probably just me and the fact that I don’t usually go for acoustic songs like this lol. gosh the lyrics are cute though, songwriter ksoo came through with the romantics 😊🌹💕 can definitely see how they were gunning for widespread listenability with this one. also the mv was so whimsical and fun! it made me laugh in a few places, not to mention ksoo going about his day without a care in the world is all I really care about seeing. the animations were so cool!

I’m gonna love you: less folk, more contemporary pop with that guitar lick in the intro. I had to pause and replay ksoo’s first bit here, I just couldn’t believe that was him! whoa this kinda of pseudo-rapping is quite a different sound from him. his lower register is so smooth omg. oh yeah now that's a beat drop!! LOVE the chorus! not familiar with wonstein but I'm surprised to hear a rap feature on this album, I didn't think that would be something ksoo would go for but it sounds really good here! their little harmonies YAH. also adlibs yesssss!! for those of us hoping for an r&b song, here it is!

my love: he brought the whole soundstage for this one, mmm yes love this chill down-tempo vibe. oh gosh he's mixing just the perfect amount of falsettos and growl into some of these lines here, he's so good at creating those smooth-harsh edges if that makes any sense lol. not to bring bbh into this but I’d really love to see ksoo perform this song as a duet with him!

It’s love: oh man he sounds GOOD good! ooooh wow all those flourishes and accidentals and runs oh my god. THIS is the song for the live lounges! the stripped-back instrumentals let him be front-and-center on this one, oh I really hope he performs this one live!! the hushed strings add that romantic vibe that really makes it feel like he's serenading us 🥰 ooh when he goes down an octave in that last part and then back up again OH MAN

dad: this brought tears to my eyes, what a beautiful and touching tribute 🥺 oh no I looked up the lyric translations and now I'm crying 😭 my dad and I tend butt heads a lot, and growing up I didn't understand why, but as I've grown older I've realized it's because we're so similar, and at the end of the day he's sacrificed so much for me :((( anyways not to get super deep and personal but just hearing the raw emotion in his voice brought up a lot of my own emotions too. I'm sure his dad is very proud of him right now :)

^^me going from "dad" to "I'm fine"

I’m fine: ALRIGHT HERE’S THE RIFF THAT’S BEEN HAUNTING ME FOR THE PAST TWO WEEKS. oh god that intro 💆‍♀️💆‍♀️💆‍♀️!!!! a little darker than the previous tracks – the bass and guitar infuse some latin flavor here. hoo WOWWWWWW the way he weaves his voice (which he sounds just DIVINE here) around those instrumentals, also LOVE the way his enunciating the lyrics, like plucking guitar strings, and is this in a harmonic minor key? the way this ebbs and flows and goes up and down and the way he slips into falsettos oh my god this song alone fed me better than whole albums have this year, I cannot imagine anyone other than ksoo doing this justice. this song just is a big steaming mug of spiced hot chocolate. also can we just give it up for songwriter ksoo I looked up the translation and yeah big hit of sweet melancholia right here. my fave song on the album!

rose (eng ver): oh sheet I don’t know if anything would’ve prepared me for “your lips look so fine and you’re looking so cool” but the damage is done my hp is at -2 🤕 these lyrics are cute too! but I think I prefer his korean lyrics over these :) ofc he sounds like he's been speaking english his whole life adskjfdkj it's so amazing how he preserved all of those vocal details from the korean version

si fueras mia: the spanish ver of “it’s love…I really can’t believe that’s HIM singing this omg what I would give to see a live performace of this. I’m not a spanish speaker (all I have are two years of high school Spanish to my name 😔) but like he's actually blowing the pronunciation out of the water!! absolute mad props for putting a spanish song on his debut ep, that was a bold move and it paid off! if I had to choose, I like this version better. again, so blown away by how he sung this the exact same way as the korean version, that's not an easy feat!!

overall: I mean what more can I say, this is what people have waited YEARS for and it's finally here. in true ksoo form, it doesn't try too hard to impress or demand your attention. its simplicity is its charm, and in a landscape of blaring electronica, it's a warm soothing escape. I'm happy 😊

[taste-in-music]

taste-in-music’s top 30 songs of 2020

Hey everyone! If you missed it, you can check out my year end wrap-up post going over my favorite albums and EPs of the year. This list will go over my favorite songs of 2020, whether they happen to be on those projects or not. My only limit is one song per project, and thirty songs total. Now then, let’s get started! 

First Aid by Gus Dapperton: There is one easy way to get me to love a song, and that’s if an artist adds in another person’s vocals for the bridge and final chorus, hence infusing them with more dimension and meaning. “First Aid” is the best usage of that device all year. The song tackles Dapperton’s struggles with mental health, citing his sister as a large help in the midst of it all. Who best to come in for the bridge and final chorus, then, but his sister (who goes by the stage name Amadelle)? It all comes together to make the final act of the song hit like a gut punch. 

Josslyn by Olivia O’Brien: Every year I have to have my helping of big, sugary, bombastic pop tunes on this list, and “Josslyn” was the first of that type of song I fell in love with this year. This song is full of snark and blunt lines, (maybe don’t listen with mom in the room,) but god help me if it didn’t have one of the catchiest chorus melodies of the year. I’ll shout along to the entire song every time I hear it. 

Frustrated by Lauren Sanderson: Okay, I only found this song by chance, like, last week, (another good reason for postponing these lists until the year is actually over,) and I have to include it. If you love the hooky guitars lines of The 1975, vocalists with a gritty edge to their delivery, and a free-spirited feel that captures the euphoria of youth, then this is the song for you. I may have just discovered it, but I’ve already played it countless times. 

To Me by Alina Baraz: Everything about “To Me” communicates blissful tranquility, from the watery production to the subtle confidence in Baraz’s delivery. Every time I was feeling overwhelmed or stressed this year, (and lord help me, that was a lot,) this was the song I’d always return to to center myself. Baraz demanding respect out of her relationships and the best things out of life was downright inspiring.

Do It by Chloe X Halle: If there is one word I would use to describe this it would be effervescent, this song is so fresh, bouncy, and bubbly, like orange soda in musical form. With its tropical production and effortless vocals, this song made me want to hit a dancefloor like nothing else this year. It was the perfect pop Summer smash that deserved a better Summer.

ringtone (Remix) by 100 gecs ft. Charli XCX, Kero Kero Bonito, and Rico Nasty: This is probably the best remix of the year? The original “ringtone” was a cute, hooky fragment, but this turned it into a fleshed out, full-on posse-cut where each guest gets a moment to shine. Charli XCX turns the hook into an earworm, Kero Kero Bonito contribute their signature chirpy vocals, and Rico Nasty jumps in for an awesome bridge that provides a nice change of pace. And, of, course, 100 gecs are the glue that holds everything together. If you’re new to the gec train, this is a great place to start. 

By Myself by Maya Hawke: “By Myself” was the song that proved that Maya Hawke was way more than the usual actor trying to cash in a quick buck. She was a bona-fide craftswoman with the potential to being tears to my eyes with blissfully simple yet artfully constructed folk ballads. This song feels like a long-forgotten lullaby, gentle and beautiful with just enough woeful melancholy to remain emotionally resonant the whole year. 

killing boys by Halsey: “killing boys” is the epitome of short but sweet. This song is a fifteen second long dialogue bite Jennifer’s Body followed by some of the most focused, atmospheric pop of the year that only lasts two and a half minutes. The way the thudding heartbeat, low plucked strings, and Halsey’s hushed delivery all build to the distorted end is a pure adrenaline rush every time. It always had me coming back for more, and by the end of the year it had climbed its way up into my top 5 most listened to songs of the year. 

Bloom by Donna Missal: It’s not a list of mine without a Donna Missal song, is it? As soon as I saw the name of this song on the Lighter track list, I just had a feeling I was going to love it. “Bloom” is the most stripped-back moment on the album, with just a guitar accompanying Missal, and yet it is also one of the most memorable and evocative songs it has to offer. What the stripped-back production allows is for Missal’s sheer, raw talent as a vocalist to blossom, especially in how she displays so much power not by belting, but by holding back. Accompanied with lyrics that detail the fear of holding someone back in a relationship, “Bloom” is awe-inspiring every time. 

fever dream by mxmtoon: mxmtoon’s double album from this year didn’t leave much of an impression of me, but lead single “fever dream” got countless spins. This song feels like a warm hug, with mxmtoon’s amiable vocals, pillowy indie pop production (the chirps! the chimes! the gentle woodwinds!) and comforting lyrics that seemed to synthesize everything I was feeling while giving me a comforting pat on the shoulder at the same time. Take the line: “I want something more than / More than restless mornings / Getting by is so boring.” Gee, I wonder why I would’ve hit a nerve in a year like 2020?

Shoulda Known Better by Nasty Cherry: From the first chord of the intro’s ringing guitars, this feels dug up from a mid-2000s coming of age soundtrack. In fact, there is an inexplicable nostalgic feel to this whole song, from the frankness the lyrics, to the filmy vocal processing, all of it. And the way the song kicks into a faster groove on the chorus is so fun, it makes me want to speed down a highway every time I hear it, and I hate driving! I guess that’s just the power of a great pop rock song. 

Heart of Glass by Miley Cyrus: Do you ever hear a song that stops you clean in your tracks and makes you sit in stunned silence until it’s over? Hearing this cover for the first time did that to me. I had been wanting Miley Cyrus to take the rock route for a while, but this cemented that my intuition was 100% correct. It’s not necessarily better than the Blondie version, (Debbie Harry’s original delivery is very smooth and nonchalant, Miley’s is more gritty and rough around the edges,) but it fills an entirely different purpose. And that purpose is to be listened to on a never ending loop, in absolute awe. 

WIGS by BLACKSTARKIDS: SURF traverses a slew of sounds, from boisterous rock to hip hop to indie pop. One of the albums best moments, however, comes when all those sounds meet in the middle “WIGS” is a blissed-out in the best way, still providing a memorable hook, (one of the best the album has to offer,) while also letting you relax and hang on for the ride.

Dead Horse by Hayley Williams: This was the most unexpected bop of the year. The lyrics may be all about betrayal in the lead-up to divorce, but the delivery is so upbeat and bouncy that I can often forget just how soul-crushing the content is at times. The production on this is so catchy, with the chirpy, tropical synths, the “ya-ya-yas,” and Williams’s stellar vocals.

this is me trying by Taylor Swift: My favorite songs on folklore came to me in waves. First, “epiphany” was my favorite, with its timely lyrics and orchestral arrangements. Then, it was “the lakes,” with its nostalgic, poetic feel, (consider it a very close runner-up.) But in the end, it was the slow burning ache of “this is me trying” that didn’t just become my favorite on folklore, but one of my favorite Taylor Swift songs ever. Looking back, “this is me trying” synthesizes what I like about those other two songs. It has a grand, atmospheric instrumental and pointed, detailed lyrics, combining the two into a single, perfect, emotional wrecking ball. 

Susie Save Your Love by Allie X ft. Mitski: This was my most anticipated duet of the year, and it didn’t disappoint! This song goes by like a long sigh on a humid Summer night, filled with breathy vocals set against a churning groove. The lyrics detail parties gone wrong and unrequited love with a best friend with just enough ambiguity to allude to something darker hovering under the surface. Mitski’s vocals work great in an alt-pop context, I love what she does with her solo work but I certainly wouldn’t be mad if she hopped onto more tracks like this. Also, that guitar solo makes me levitate every time. 

Fetch The Bolt Cutters by Fiona Apple: Okay, who had “Fiona Apple meows on a song” on their 2020 bingo card? But it works, it works so well! From its opening clatter of percussion, “Fetch The Bolt Cutters” establishes a locomotive groove that never stops moving forward. In fact, the entire song seems to be dedicated to that sentiment, each lyric linking lines about middle school bullies, media critics, and Kate Bush references into their perfect place. It’s a narrative that may span a lifetime, but it still feels as timely as ever. 

forever by Charli XCX: I’ll admit I haven’t returned to How I’m Feeling Now all that much throughout 2020, but I have returned to “forever,” again and again and again. The sugar-sweet hook at the heart of all the blown-out bass is just irresistible. The way it manages to fight to the forefront, cutting through the clouds of distortion like a shimmering pink diamond, is nothing short of hopeful. 

Fit N Full by Samia: This was my instant favorite off The Baby. The glistening guitars make for a sweltering summery jam that you can’t help but move to every time you hear it. The way Samia weaves lyrics about the agonizing pressures of womanhood, diet culture, and body image into a catchy pop hook is pretty genius. She wraps them all up into a pretty package for consumption, just like women are forced to do with their pain. 

Heartbreak Weather by Niall Horan: Niall Horan has made folksy balladry his mainstay, which is all fine and good, but god help me if his turn towards stadium-rocking power pop didn’t result in one of the most anthemic songs of the year. “Heartbreak Weather” is sharply written, lushly produced, and performed with so much spirit and heart that I can’t help but think that this is the genre Horan has been meant to fall into all along. It’s certainly deserving of its title track status. 

Pretty Please by Dua Lipa: Future Nostalgia was an excellent showcase of Dua Lipa’s mastery over nonstop pop bangers, (”Physical” is the very close runner up for this list.) But surprisingly, it was the breather moment on the album, the song where everything slowed down, that really hooked me. I’m gonna say it, “Pretty Please” is so fucking sexy. The whole song screams sensuality, from the lyrics, to the bass line, to the funky synths, to Lipa’s delivery. It may not be as in-your-face as its peers, but it deserves just as much hype. 

Woo! by Remi Wolf: I had such a hard time picking a Remi Wolf song for this list that I had to resort to the raw data. “Woo!” ended up on my Spotify Wrapped, so “Woo!” gets this spot. This song just works in some ramshackle way I can’t describe, all the disparate pieces come together with so much charm. The way Wolf’s performance effortlessly flip-flops between jaunty half-rapping modulated with distortion to full-blown, raw belting on the bridge is a wild ride of the best kind every time. 

gold rush by Taylor Swift: We have another entry for the highly esteemed category of songs that capture the feeling of butterflies in your stomach. This latest Antonoff-Swift collaboration is a wistful, glittery whirlwind that captures the simultaneous excitement and soul crushing realization of a blooming crush. The way the dreamy intro snaps into the steady thrum of the rest of the song, before the song fades out in the same way, as if to illustrate how your mind can race to dozens of different places all within in the moment of meeting someone? Damn, I’m getting butterflies just thinking about it. 

Eugene by Arlo Parks: “Eugene” is a testament to soft-spoken heartache, as Arlo Parks details watching her straight crush in a relationship with a man. The song is incredibly intimate, both with Park’s hushed vocals and the specific details she utilizes in her writing, (Sylvia Plath poetry, a cigarette hanging between purple lips.) It all comes together to make the song all the more personal and heart-aching. 

People, I’ve been sad by Christine and the Queens: Christine and the Queens have perfected setting emotionally resonant sentiments against wire-tight grooves, and “People I’ve been sad” may just be their most elegant effort yet. The echoing, stuttering drums, fluttering backing vocals, and reverb give the track a wide sense of space, which perfectly illustrates the loneliness Chris describes. But there’s also this intangible warmth to the song too, harking from the strings and Chris’s introspective performance. Just gorgeous. 

XS by Rina Sawayama: Picking a song of SAWAYAMA for this list was damn near impossible. My first favorite off the album was the nu metal rager “STFU!,” then the slinky intrigue of “Akasaka Sad,” then the glitter-flinging “Tokyo Love Hotel.” But did those songs end Karl Marx’s career with their razor-sharp critique of capitalism? No. Hence, “XS” gets this spot. The craftmanship of this song is so impressive, with the rock guitar hits contrasted against the glossy pop production, Rina’s pitch-perfect performance, the witty lyricism, everything. This will go down as a classic in Ms. Sawayama’s discography, no doubt!

Guilty Conscience by 070 Shake: I didn’t even realize this was one of my favorite songs of the year until I was writing this list and felt like something was missing. This feels like a song that plays for the last stragglers on a prom dance floor. It’s melancholic yet just upbeat enough, sprawling yet buoyant, and hooks you in with the perfect balance monstrous, shimmering 80s synths undercut with rattling modern trap percussion. It’s just irresistible. If HBO doesn’t put this on the next season of Euphoria then they’re fools. 

I Know The End by Phoebe Bridgers: I don’t even know if I can describe the full impact of this song, so I’ll keep to short. One word: catharsis. The way this sound builds up from signature Phoebe Bridgers Ballad™ to forceful rollick to gut-wrenching climax gives me chills every time. I don’t want to spoil it. If you haven’t heard it before, go listen to it, (preferably with the rest of the album, too.) If you know, you know. 

Delete Forever by Grimes: Okay, now who had “Grimes makes the best country song of the year” on their 2020 bingo card? I certainly didn’t. I’ve loved Grimes’s work in the past for its ability to transport me to another place. “Delete Forever” does the exact opposite in its discussion of loss, exhaustion, and hopelessness, rooting me right to where I am. But you know what? I think I like that a lot more, especially when the song incorporates a lush acoustic guitar and strings, sunny synths, and just enough optimism to remind me that there is always hope to keep the darkness from fully taking over.

circle the drain by Soccer Mommy: This song was in the running for my favorite song of the year since even before the pandemic began, for its classic 90s-alternative sound, for its clever production choices, and for its anthemic feel. But as the year went on, it just kept getting more and more emotionally potent. I’ve been wanting to look at the songs and albums I’ve discussed on these lists without putting on pandemic-tinted glasses, but the truth is, that experience drastically shaped my year, and how I consume music. The lyrics in this song were so goddamn relatable as this year kept spiraling and it felt like I was along with it. “circle the drain” showed me that it’s okay to be feel like I was “falling apart these days.” Because those feelings are not new, I’m not alone in feeling them, and I may keep feeling them, but you know what? I’ll still have this song, in fact, many of the songs on this list, to return to when I do. 

Here are some songs I loved this year that didn’t come out in 2020: “Nikes” by Frank Ocean, “Prom” by SZA, “Rhinestone Eyes” by Gorillaz, “Anyone Else But You” by The Moldy Peaches, “Cold War” by Cautious Clay, “Plans” by Maude Latour, “Sleepyhead” by Passion Pit, and “Narcissist” by No Rome ft. The 1975.

Whether you liked, reblogged, or commented on a post, sent me an ask, or interacted with this blog in any way, thank you so much for all the support throughout the year! I can’t express how much I appreciate it.

What were your favorite songs from this year? Did I miss anything? Send me an ask and let me know. I’ll tell you my thoughts, or put it on my to-listen-to list if I haven’t heard them.

Here’s to 2021! May it clear the extremely low bar set by this year.

[dustedmagazine]

Writhing Squares — Chart for the Solution (Trouble in Mind)

Chart For The Solution by Writhing Squares

Writhing Square’s latest double LP is expansive in every way. It’s temporally extended, clocking in at 71 minutes in 11 mostly long-form tracks. As in their last album, Out of the Ether, they shoot for infinity in a couple of cuts. The effect-heavy, industrial clanging “The Pillars,” which comes on like a buzz-saw and churns like a Suicide vamp for over 18 minutes, while opener “Rogue Moon” explores every churning, pulsing curve of a mnemonic synth-drum-machine riff. Yet Chart for the Solution is large-scaled in other ways as well; it feels fuller, richer, more overloaded than the previous disc, of which I observed here at Dusted in 2019, “It’s an economical sound, but evocative, with grinding earth-bound vamps of distorted bass battling pinging, euphoric synth and sax overtones and gnomic shouts sheathed in reverb so that they seem to come from inside a dark well.”

As before Writhing Squares is a two-person project, comprised of Philly-area mainstays Kevin Nickles on winds and synth and Daniel Provenzano on bass and vocals. As before they exploit extended, motorik grooves, the certainty and solidity of repetitive rhythms providing a jump-off point for wild excursions in voice, sax, flute and keyboard sounds. “Geisterwaltz” (or “ghost waltz”) whirls in rough, abrasive three-four time, its center holding, barely, as sax trills and chants fly off in centripetal whorls. “NFU,” a highlight, bangs and clangs in heavy four-four, its upbeats massive, hammering assaults, full of buzzing rock electricity. Nickles’ saxophone blurts in oompah blasts, while Dan Balcer from Sparrow Steeple blows the harmonica hard, so that the whole track breathes, in-and-out, like a giant industrial lung. Provenzano plays in Purling Hiss as well, and this cut sounds very much like that band’s heaviest, most psychedelic onslaughts.

“Epilogue” is, perhaps, the densest, funkiest cut, the duo augmented with John Schoemaker on drums and Alex Ward on squalling, squealing, 1960s fusion jazz organ. Nickles switches between sax and flute on this one, both scorching, both infused with heady jazz energies, and the cut opens up in a group improvised free-for-all that is anything but minimalist.  Next to it, the scratchy force of “The Abyss Is Never Brighter,” looks like a line drawing next to an impasto oil, both powerful but at different levels of saturation.

The pandemic lockdown has brought us a lot of double albums, and not all of them justify the extra listening time, but Chart for the Solution makes nearly every minute pop. If you’re going to go long, go wild, too.

Jennifer Kelly

[howaminotinthestrokesyet]

From Green River to Nirvana to Bush: A Brief History of Grunge

The origin of the term grunge, which means either repugnant or dirty came from most likely a Sub Pop music catalog to describe an EP released by the band Green River in 1987. “Gritty vocals, roaring Marshall amps, ultra-loose GRUNGE that destroyed the morals of a generation". The term grunge had been used since the 1960’s to describe an array of bands, but this was the first time the term had been applied to any music out of Seattle. One of the reasons the music coming out of Seattle sounded so dirty or sludgy came for a very practical reason. Most of these groups did not have very much money, which meant when creating new songs in the studio these artists could not spend the money they did not have on cleaning up the sound. The scene of Seattle first came from two colleges, Evergreen State and the University of Washington, which brought about the hugely popular radio station KAOS, where Nirvana would actually play in 1987. Many major bands that came out of Seattle like Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Soundgarden hated the term. One primary reason was the fact that it stereotyped these bands into one generic genre as even these three specific groups were vastly different from one another. Nirvana was pop punk, Pearl Jam embodied classic rock, and Soundgarden turned out to be much more metal. Ben Shepherd of Soundgarden would say he hated the term and did not want to be associated with it. Many musicians from Seattle all the way down the line never referred to grunge in any manner whatsoever. Rolling Stone would say that there did not exist any clear definition of what defined grunge as it covered a bunch of bands that were very different from each other.

The start of early grunge in Seattle began when Black Flag came to town in 1984. They were the poster child for hardcore punk at the time. Black Flag’s album My War was huge in terms of Seattle’s sound as it took elements of metal and traditional rock, then slowed it down. Steve Turner of Mudhoney would later comment. “A lot of other people around the country hated the fact that Black Flag slowed down ... but up here it was really great ... we were like 'Yay!' They were weird and fucked-up sounding." One of the people that went to these Black Flag shows was Buzz Osbourne, lead singer of local group the Melvins. After seeing Black Flag, he began writing riffs for his own band that were much slower and heavier. This became the very beginning of Northwest grunge, which producer Jack Endino called slowed down punk rock. Seattle musician Leighton Breezer would describe it as essentially playing punk rock backwards. Another key ingredient to grunge’s development came in the infusion of metal elements with the greatest influence being Black Sabbath. One approach for these early bands was to take a metal riff, then play it backwards with a ton of feedback, while screaming lyrics on top of it. Another other source of the grunge sound came with indie rock, which should not be discounted because it brought that pop melody into the equation. A huge influence on this emerged with Sonic Youth. Other artists included Pixies and Dinosaur Jr. Kurt Cobain identified with the former in particular as he noted in a Rolling Stone interview, "I connected with that band so heavily that I should have been in that band—or at least a Pixies cover band. We used their sense of dynamics, being soft and quiet and then loud and hard." These artists did seem to embrace the ugly aspect of the music as they loved to pen dark lyrics mirroring society at the time. This stood in stark contrast to the mainstream sex, drugs and rock and roll of the hair metal coming out of Los Angeles. The Seattle bands would even take things from so called cheesy rock bands like Kiss. Buzz Osbourne would say they would steal from the ridiculous rock bands too seeing what they could get away with all the time. Rock writer Kyle Anderson would say this about grunge when reviewing Sixteen Stone from Bush. “The twelve songs on Sixteen Stone sound exactly be like what grunge is supposed to sound like, while the whole point of grunge was that it didn't really sound like anything, including itself. Just consider how many different bands and styles of music have been shoved under the "grunge" header in this discography alone, and you realize that grunge is probably the most ill-defined genre of music in history."

Certain artists prior to bands like the Melvins and Green River heavily influenced that Seattle sound including Here Are The Sonics, released in 1965 by The Sonics.[153] Neil Young's albums Rust Never Sleeps (1979) and Ragged Glory (1990). Neil Young symbolized everything that grunge and Seattle seemed to represent including plaid flannels and distorted guitar. He would even have Pearl Jam act as his backing band for the 1995 album Mirror Ball. These groups were soon labeled proto-grunge. Other artists included Elvis Costello, the Stooges, Led Zeppelin, and Creedence Clearwater Revival for their respective 1970’s and 1980’s albums. Another effect on the development of the sound came in the city of Seattle itself as it flew below the radar when compared with other cities. Sub Pop’s Jonathan Poneman would say in an interview. “Seattle was a perfect example of a secondary city with an active music scene that was completely ignored by an American media fixated on Los Angeles and New York [City]." Everything about the style that would become associated with Seattle came out of necessity, not really any choice. Trucker hats, pawnshop clothes, cheap guitar all sprung from the fact that Seattle in fact was a very poor town. For his part, Kurt Cobain when Nevermind went number one was actually living in his car. Local post-punk bands also had an effect on what eventually became the grunge bands of the late eighties such as The Fartz, The U-Men, 10 Minute Warning, The Accüsed, and the Fastbacks. Yet, one must note there existed a differential between these groups and those that came to define early grunge.

The very first grunge record has been regularly referred to as Come on Down from Green River. The band would later split up with half the group later forming Pearl Jam and the other half creating Mudhoney. Another release that hugely helped along the development of the Seattle sound was in the Deep Six compilation featuring tracks from six bands: Green River, Soundgarden, Melvins, Malfunkshun, Skin Yard, and The U-Men. Jack Endino would make this observation about the release at the time. “People just said, 'Well, what kind of music is this? This isn't metal, it's not punk, What is it?' ... People went 'Eureka! These bands all have something in common.'" Later around the same time, Sub Pop released a similar compilation, along with a new EP from Green River, Dry As a Bone. The effect of the Sub Pop label had everything to do with the Seattle sound too because of their heavy commitment to cleverly selling the brand to the rest of the world as one of the greatest regional music scenes in the history of the world. The early concerts sponsored by the label were not attended by very many people, but Sub Pop’s photographer made it look like the concert of the year. Their marketing was top notch when it came to letting the rest of the world know there was something incredible happening in Seattle. Sub Pop was not alone in spearheading the indie movement in the Pacific Northwest, but other labels released new music including C/Z Records, Estrus Records, EMpTy Records and PopLlama Records. In the late 1980’s, Jonathan Poneman of Sub Pop asked Everett True to write about the local Seattle music scene for Melody Maker. This article gave Seattle some of the first mainstream national exposure besides word of mouth. According to Charles R. Cross, the bands that embodied the grunge sound more than anyone else were not just Nirvana or Pearl Jam, but groups like Tad, Mudhoney, Blood Circus. Sub Pop actually looked to Mudhoney to be the breakout band from their label allowing Nirvana to leave without much protest.

The negative issue with such exposure became that new groups began to move to Seattle hoping to be discovered while claiming to be an authentic local group, when in reality they were not. Steve Turner would say, “It was really bad. Pretend bands were popping up here, things weren't coming from where we were coming from." The first group to sign to a major label was Soundgarden, followed by Alice In Chains and Screaming Trees soon after. Unfortunately, this really signaled the end of a truly independent local music scene, but the major labels coming to Washington state was probably inevitable.

The major label signings were expected but when Nirvana released Nevermind, the repercussions were in no way contemplated in any way whatsoever. The success of the record changed everything because it made what would become alternative music able to be sold as merchandise and in a cultural sense. Michael Azerrad said it represented "a sea-change in rock music" in which the entire country said we are done with hair metal. We want something a bit more realistic when it comes to our music. The newfound popularity of grunge made it possible for other niche audiences to consider the potential financially and culturally for their music to be successful. A more current example may be seen in dubstep and EDM. Pearl Jam would be the first beneficiaries of Nirvana’s lightning bolt, no pun intended. Jeff Ament and Stone Goddard, formerly of Green River and Mother Lovebone, had joined forces with a California surfer by the name of Eddie Vedder. People tend to forget that Pearl Jam’s seminal album Ten was actually released a month before Nevermind. By 1992, the entire country had embraced everything Seattle including Pearl Jam, Temple of the Dog, Soundgarden, and Alice In Chains. Journalists were starting to call the city the “New Liverpool.” Cameron Crowe even made a film centered around Seattle entitled Singles, which featured a fictitious band with Eddie Vedder as their drummer. The fashion fads of grunge did not go unnoticed to corporate America as knit caps and flannels would increase in price very quickly. Entertainment Weekly made this observation in 1993. “There hasn't been this kind of exploitation of a subculture since the media discovered hippies in the '60s". One could now see grunge being sold in the form of all kinds of products including an official grunge air freshener.

There do exist some characteristics of the grunge sound itself that people did agree upon, but much like the term itself there are open debates as well. As noted previously, the electric guitar had represented a dirty sound, hence the name grunge. There existed a heavy emphasis on distortion through the use of stompbox pedals with very large amplifiers connected to them. The other major characteristic that defined grunge besides distortion was loudness. Some critics have dismissed the artistry within grudge as merely noise, not anything else. Another effect utilized by grunge was the guitarists use of the Wah Wah pedal as evidenced by Pearl Jam, the Screaming Trees, Soundgarden, and Alice in Chains. The controversial and debatable aspect of the guitar is the question of whether the popularity of the music helped to kill the guitar solo. Most of grunge’s guitarists despised the shredding solos made famous in the 1980’s by such musicians as Eddie Van Halen. Jerry Cantrell of Alice In Chains would say that guitar solos should serve as a complement to the song, not its own entity. Will Byers of the Guardian wrote an article that argued grunge’s guitarists like Kurt Cobain helped to effectively kill the guitar solo in popular music. Unlike classic artists such as Jimi Hendrix, Kurt Cobain and others from Seattle had very little interest in mastering the instrument. The Soundgarden guitarist would even say that he got bored doing solos, so he just filled it with fuzz and distortion anyway. The argument does fall apart a little bit when you look at the entire breadth of grunge at the time because Pearl Jam’s Mike McCready and the Smashing Pumpkins’ Billy Corgan have been consistently referred to as some of the most influential guitarists in the entire decade. The production was also similar in approach as it heavily emphasized low cost, which always meant a low fi sound. For the band Mudhoney, they had to tell the record label to decrease the budget for one of their albums because they did not need to spend that much. The two important producers were Jack Endino and Steve Albini. They both took a very hands off approach to producing with very little to do with remastered effects and mixing. They both believed that the job of the producer was to simply record the music, but not impede in any way creatively for the artist. For example, In Utero was recorded in the same room with the entire band, while most mainstream producers would have recorded it separately then combined them on a multi track recorder. That approach would often give off a very live feel to a grunge release from the recording studio. Many bands simply wanted to replicate the sound energy from their live shows. A grunge concert was defined by bands who jumped, thrashed, and screamed on stage, while most of the audience would mosh or slam dance. The artists would never use any visual aids, props, or special effects to enhance the experience, but instead you were simply seeing essentially a local band. Dave Rimmer would write about the philosophy behind any true grunge show. It seemed “for Cobain, and lots of kids like him, rock & roll ... threw down a dare: Can you be pure enough, day after day, year after year, to prove your authenticity, to live up to the music ... And if you can't, can you live with being a poseur, a phony, a sellout?"

One of the negative aspects associated with grunge came in the question of how prevalent overall did heroin play in the lives of the artists. Not only did Kurt Cobain suffer from heroin addiction, but other artists did as well from that era including Scott Weiland of Stone Temple Pilots, Evan Dando of the Lemonheads, Jimmy Chamberlain of Smashing Pumpkins, Courtney Love of Hole, and Mark Lanegan of Screaming Trees. The comparison was made to the hippies of the 1960’s, who had embraced marijuana. The grunge musicians of the 1990’s seemed to look to heroin while in the city of Seattle. The downer effects of the drug represented what the lyrics told you about how these artists were feeling, self-hatred, nihilism. By taking heroin, someone could hide themselves from the world avoiding any sense of reality. The drug would take many casualties along the way including Andrew Wood of Mother Lovebone, Cobain, the keyboardist for the Smashing Pumpkins, Layne Staley of Alice in Chains, and later the bassist for the band Hole. One group that almost beat Nirvana to the punch of making it on a national basis was Mother Lovebone. Their lead singer Andrew Wood tragically died of a heroin overdose right before their debut album Green Apple was set to be released. They represented the number one band throughout the local Seattle music scene at the time. After his death, the remaining members of Mother Love Bone, Chris Cornell of Soundgarden, and Eddie Vedder joined up to create the tribute band for the late singer, Temple of the Dog. One of the first times fans heard Eddie Vedder on record was not Pearl Jam’s Ten, but actually Temple of the Dog. Jeff Ament and Stone Gossard did eventually join up with Vedder to form Pearl Jam. Courtney Love would a later comment that she thought heroin was easier to get in Seattle, than it was in Los Angeles or San Francisco. Yet, Daniel House of C/Z Records would argue that the idea of Seattle being a mecca for heroin was simply not true. He said the prevalence of the drug was no worse than any other American city in the country, while magazines like Rolling Stone contended that marijuana and MDMA seemed to be more likely the drug of choice for these artists.

Another important characteristic of grunge was is the active role that women played as musicians, as well as promoters of the movement. These groups included acts such as L7, Lunachicks, Dickless, 7 Year Bitch, The Gits, Courtney Love's band Hole (and Love's other 1990s groups), and Babes in Toyland. VH1 writer Dan Baker would comment that L7 were an “all-female grunge band [that] emanated from the fertile L.A. underground scene and [which] had strong ties with ... Black Flag and could match any male band in attitude and volume." The lead singer of the all girl band Bikini Kill Katherine Hanna would help to start the feminist punk underground movement called Riotgrrrl in the Pacific Northwest out of Olympia, Washington. This social and political movement began to embrace some of the same qualities found within grunge music. Singer Hanna was also the person that coined the phrase Smells Like Teen Spirit as Cobain had dated her drummer Toby Vail for a time. Coincidentally, she would later go onto marry Adam Horowitz of the Beastie Boys.

By late 1992, there began a strong backlash against anything referred to as grunge. Both Damon Albarn and Billy Corgan of Blur and Smashing Pumpkins respectively would say at their live shows, “Fuck grunge.” Kurt Cobain would say in an interview that being famous was the last thing he ever wanted to be. Along with a return to their punk roots, Nirvana’s album In Utero subtly was intentionally “abrasive” as a form of protest against the entire grunge trend. Despite their efforts, the album still went number one in its first week of release. Everything grunge related saw incredible success including groups like Candlebox, Soundgarden, and Alice In Chains, as they all released records that saw platinum achievement very quickly. As LA looked for the next Motley Crue in the 1980’s, record labels now began to look for the next Nirvana. Some of these second wave groups included Stone Temple Pilots, Veruca Salt, and Toadies. Unfortunately, Stone Temple Pilots were called out in the press for jumping on the bandwagon that was the Seattle sound. Their biggest flaw came in being from Los Angeles, not Seattle. Another group that suffered from this backlash was represented with Bush, who released their second album in 1994, Razorblade Suitcase. Chuck Klosterman would write, “Bush was a good band who just happened to signal the beginning of the end; ultimately, they would become the grunge Warrant.” The exact death of grunge has been debated as to a precise date, but one of the biggest factors came when Pearl Jam and Soundgarden began to fade from view for a time. Another huge issue came with the death of Hole’s bassist from a heroin overdose. This just brought up memories from Kurt Cobain’s tragic death as his widow was lead singer of the group. Jason Heller of the av club would write the the final nail in grunge’s coffin actually came in the release of In Utero in 1993. He argued that once his angst became commercial, then it was time to leave the scene. Nirvana had made the scene, and they obviously ended it. Billy Corgan would say after the death of Cobain in an interview, “The party’s over.”

[untitledtheunknown]

Is there any other incendiary story? Did they burn anything after that yacht incident? Or, I don’t know, fell into some other story related to the explosions?

Not really explosive like the yacht but there's a blip im working out post 77. There's like this rock n roll hall of fame tour thing that makes its rounds every couple of years. Just a bunch of stuff from old rockers; memorabilia, tour posters, equipment, outfits, photos and vids from gigs, demos, albums, you name it. Just a bunch of stuff, and its just kind of cool to look at, especially the older stuff for these 2 old geezers. There's been a couple times old Samurai stuff has shown in the collection and its always nice to see those memories being preserved, Kerry is sentimental like that.

So the next time this thing rolls around he takes Valor and they walk and talk, look at all the things. Share memories. They get to the Samurai spot and Kerry’s jaw damn near hits the ground, he's beyond pissed. Pristine condition like the day they got snatched, sitting front and center is his guitar and one of Johnny’s vests. The very vest Johnny accused him of stealing and selling to a fan for drug money. They fought about it for months, half the tour just screaming over a vest. Turns out a roadie had snagged it after the gig, guy lived closed to where they were playing so just took the thing home and came back with food as an alibi, but Johnny was dead set it was Kerry’s doing.

50 some odd years later, there it is, tattered and stained just like how Johnny left it. And his guitar was a whole other thing, got lost in transit put on the wrong plane and he just never saw it again. Label bought him a replacement but it just wasn't the same.

The only reasonable thing to do would be to break the glass and haul ass. Really the only practical thing, mean Johnny said he stole it so might as well actually take it, right? So thats what they did, Valor smashed the case, Kerry grabbed the vest, Valor took the guitar and they ran. Then the real fun began.

Valor learned a thing or two about defensive driving during his time as a solo, and with the nomads. Knows how to handle his car, pretty little Quadra armored body, turbo, built to ram and run. So it was a game, how many cops could you piss off over stealing a guitar and a vest? Answer is a lot.

Turbo infused high speed chase, cameras on them, radio and news stations reporting in as they took the scenic route. Chaos feeding into chaos until NC is in over its head. Laughing and yelling as they swerve past cops, ramming them outta the way, car's armor eating up just about everything they can throw at her. All a good time until Valor gets a call, Nancy, and he's wondering why, they had spoken for awhile. Asks if they're having a good time, Kerry is still laughing his lungs out, and then it hits "Your gonk input got caught, face recognition in the building would have spotted him a mile away." And now the car is out of turbo and its time to just run. At this point, half NC precinct is on them, luckily legendary rocker status means the rounds are non-lethal. Unfortunately, fists and knees don't have a soft mode.

And then its everywhere, the bloody nose, split lip mugshots of Kerry and Valor Eurodyne, each with a stupid smile ready for round two. One night in the cells, separated by some bars. Next day label has them bailed out and are talking about album sales and upcoming tour. Fans were eating that shit up, mugshots are going to be used as tour exclusive posters. Its a whole thing as they go back home. Next day car is returned and still tucked in the back is the guitar and vest. Couple grand gets sent to the museum along with some replacement gear to add to the collection.

[strwbrymoonchild]

The Albums That Got Us Through 2020

We’ll save you the soliloquy, and get right to it: (skip to the bottom for the full playlist)

LaChelle’s Picks

Overture x Gaidaa

“Sonically, this album was very cathartic. Gaidaa’s songwriting is so imaginative and authentic, and I really love it when her voice hits those lush lower notes, her tone is like butter.”

Favorite tracks: Falling higher, Still Water, I Like Trouble

2. Rose in The Dark x Cleo Sol

“The timeless musicality and vocals are very reminiscent of some of my favorite classic soul artists like Angela Bofill, and Patrice Rushen but sound refreshing all the same. I would love to hear this project live but you know... COVID.”

Favorite tracks: When I’m In Your Arms, Why Don’t You, Rose in The Dark

3 & 4. Untiled (Black is) / Untitled (Rise) x Sault

“I can’t think of any projects more timely for this year than these two albums. They spoke to Black pain, weariness, and resilience in a way that felt mores insightful than preachy. A lot of the drums used on this project had an ancestral feel to them and the use of strings was extremely effective in giving it cinematic energy. The interludes also spoke to the difficult emotions many Black people grappled with this year while maintaining a musically rich sound.”

Favorite Tracks: Hard Life, Wildfires, Sorry Ain’t Enough, Why We Cry Why We Die, Free, Uncomfortable

5. The Angel You Don’t Know x Amaarae

“I first discovered Amaarae as a featured artist on one of my favorite music submissions of the year ‘NASA’ by Rvdical The Kid. I became entrenched upon my first listen to her first full-length project which is a mixture of afro-fusion, R&B, electronic, alté, and alternative hip hop. I love her animated voice and how effortlessly she glides over the track. I enjoy artists who can fuse multiple genres together and make them sound like a whole new sound”

Favorite Tracks: Fancy, Feel A Way, Céline

6. Last Year Was Weird, Vol 2. x Tkay Maidza

“This album had a lot of surprises on it. It’s a mixture of fun-loving R&B, raging nu-metal, and 808 thumping house tracks. While there’s not much fusion in the array of genres, I appreciate her ability to showcase her eclectic range.”

Favorite tracks: Shook, 24K, Don’t Call Again

7. Honey For Wounds x Ego Ella May

“This is a great self-love soundtrack. The pensiveness of this album is tempered by Ego Ella May’s jazzy vocals and even-keeled instrumentation. A very relaxing vibe to listen to during downtime or moments of solitude.”

Favorite tracks: Girls Don’t Always Sing About Boys, Table For One, Song For Bobby

8. Jaguar x Victoria Monét

“This album is oozing with sensuality, sexuality, and confidence. I love the lush vocal arrangements and the production which taps into nostalgia without being lazy or gimmicky. If you're feeling insecure, put on some lingerie, pour a glass of wine, turn this album on and you'll be feeling like a Savage Fenty brand ambassador”

Favorite tracks: Moment, Touch Me, Go There With You

9. Extra, Extra! x Lou Phelps

“ My boyfriend who is a Kaytranada fanboy put me onto this album. Haven’t heard a hip hop EP with such a fun, laid back like this in a minute. Lou’s big bro Kaytranada came through with the dancey vibes but you also get a bit of that classic boom bap energy that an old head like me loves”

Favorite tracks: Party in LA, Nike Shoe Box, Smiling

Dorian’s Picks

Pulp (Director’s Cut) x Ambré

"Ambré takes you deep into her world with sounds of a sweet lullaby, and a pulp garden full of hallucinating trips on a journey towards discovering love, vulnerability, and purpose. Overdosing on ‘Pulp’ has become a nightly ritual for me, no surprise as to why Ambré is my top artist of 2020."

Favorite tracks: free drugs, LUCIADA(EGODEATH), gucci slides

2. A Written Testimony x Jay Electronica

Jay Electronica's debut album, once heralded a myth by many, has finally seen the light of day, 10 years later. It sounds godly, rich in ancestral wisdom, paralleled with classic Hov features throughout. This album to me raps a soulful tune of Black enlightenment, and feels like a really lavish ode to the Nation of Islam.

Favorite tracks: Universal Soldier, Flux Capacitor, The Blinding

3. In Search of Lost Time x Protoje

"The Jamaican OG delivers a sonically wise lesson on life, what it means to live in our truths and light in search of happiness and prosperity as a free spirit. This album at many times served as a soundtrack to my life, a saving grace from my own insecurities and struggles amidst a very unsettling year."

Favorite tracks: In Bloom, Deliverance, Like Royalty

4. I Shine, U Shine x RIMON

"Amsterdam-based artist RIMON delivered a sonically pleasing project shortlisted with a blend of melancholy neo-soul/R&B influenced melodies. This project evokes raw relatable emotions and centers the beauty of the imperfect for full display. With each listen the lyrics pierced my heart and filled my memory of love lost and love found."

Favorite tracks: Out Of My Way, Got My Back, Downtown

5. Note to Self x Jah9

"Jah9's Note to Self, is a call to channel your divine form. Reggae has long been a genre that speaks to a higher force and existence. With the wild year we experienced, this project served as a guideline on how to battle those inner demons and live life to your fullest potential through faith."

Favorite tracks: Love Has Found I, Ma'at, New Race

6. SuperGood x Duckwrth

"The title is self-explanatory. Duckwrth gave us all that we deserved and dropped a bomb ass feel-good record. SuperGood gave me all the contemporary neo-funk grooves I've come to love about Duckwrth. Listening to this project made it easy to tune out all the noise of 2020 and just dance my sorrows away."

Favorite tracks: Quick, Coming Closer, Super Bounce

7. B7 x Brandy

"Brandy, now indie and seasoned in the industry, answers to no one and that's made clear with her experimental R&B sounds on B7. This project is fearless and sounds so different from previous Brandy albums, but delivers in that same angelic aesthetic and powerhouse vocals we've come to love. B7 is criminally underrated in my opinion and will stand the test of time. "

Favorite tracks: Rather Be, Borderline, Say Something

8. It Is What It Is x Thundercat

"Thundercat delivers another soothing jazzy-bassline record. This album feels cathartic, experiential in a sense, almost as if I'm listening to a score from an intergalactic movie set in some futuristic utopia. Best enjoyed with a spliff and/or glass of wine."

Favorite tracks: Black Qualls, DragonBall Durag, Unrequited Love

9. The ExPerience x Lila Iké

"This captivating debut EP from rising reggae siren Lila Iké will make anyone a believer. Her journey is compelling, spiritually guided, a modern tale of romance - the highs and lows of navigating young love. The way Lila belts out these reggae-R&B infused chunes pon ya head top is mesmerizing and sets the standard for Jamaica's new generation"

Favorite tracks: Forget Me, Where I'm Coming From, Thy Will

10. grae x Moses Sumney

“‘grae’, a two part album, explores the complexities of identity. Moses Sumney never quite submits to the boundaries society aims to box us in. ‘grae’ is undefined in sound, Moses gracefully flows from one end of the artistic spectrum to another without landing anywhere too long. What I love most about listening to this album besides Mose's falsetto is the high level of self-awareness, the screams of escapism, and determination to exist in free agency. "

Favorite tracks: Cut Me, Polly, Lucky Me

Rachel’s Picks

Instrospection x UMI

“After another year with no new SZA album, discovering UMI was a godsend. Her voice has that same angelic raspiness and lyrics that sit with you long after the first listen. What sets her and this record apart is how UMI’s lyrics recognize her own faults and the faults of others in a way that is so graceful that it never comes across as self-deprecating or accusatory. Listening to Introspection, you can’t help but introspect your life the way UMI does on this album.”

Favorite tracks: Introspection, Open Up, Pretty Girl hi!

2. Girlhood x Girlhood

“This electropop duo’s vocalist, Tessa Cavanna, has a voice reminiscent of the late artists Amy Winehouse and Sharon Jones, and with their neo-soul, 90’s inspired sound being so colorful, it’s impossible to get sick of listening to this album.”

Favorite tracks: Keep On, It Might Take a Woman, My Boy

3. Who Cares? x Abby Jasmine

“Released during the reclusive days of stay-at-home orders, Jasmine’s tracks on her sophomore album made me nostalgic for parties that were once filled with smoke, close friends, and good music. Her brutally honest lyrics, progressive production, and her overall confidence were comforting during a year of instability and empty dancefloors.”

Favorite tracks: Stay With Me, Artificial Lover, Groovy

4. Texas Sun x Khruangbin & Leon Bridges

“Two Texan artists came together and were able to use Bridge’s soulful and textured tone and the fluidity of the psychedelic-funk trio Khruangbin's sound, to create a desolate Texas landscape. Listening to the EP feels like driving with all the windows rolled down, feeling the sun’s heat on your skin.”

Favorite tracks: Texas Sun, Midnight, C-Side

5. They Call Me Disco x Ric Wilson & Terrace Martin

“In a year of so much grief, it is refreshing to hear music that sounds like it was as fun to make as it was to listen to. Wilson and Martin’s rhythmically dynamic collaboration prefaced a summer filled with social media’s fascination and nostalgia for the glittery freeness of the 70’s while still fitting into their respective genres of hip-hop and R&B.”

Favorite track: Don’t Kill the Wave, Move Like This, Chicago Bae

Lionnal’s Picks

Dinner Party x Terrace Martin, Robert Glasper. 9th Wonder, & Kamasi Washington

"These Four legendary musicians came together and gave us an album full of beautiful vocals over smooth, jazzy, soul instrumentals."

Favorite tracks: Freeze Tag, LUV U, Love You Bad

2. Burden of Proof x Benny The Butcher

"This album feels like a vintage east coast rap album. Hit-Boy’s luxury production matched with Benny’s grimey delivery is everything a classic rap fan would ever need."

Favorite tracks: One Way Flight, Burden of Proof, War Paint

3. Sin Miedo x Kali Uchis

"I didn’t know how I would take to an album primarily in Spanish, but Kali’s intoxicating and seductive vibe still found a way to draw me in."

Favorite tracks: Telepatia, //aguardiente y limón %ᵕ‿‿ᵕ%, Quiero Sentirme Bien

4. Fuck The World x Brent Fayaiz

"Brent Faiyaz’s personality is what makes this album so great. His cool and confident approach to tracks make for a unique spin on modern R&B and it’s honestly very refreshing."

Favorite tracks: Clouded, Been Away, Let Me Know

LISTEN TO THE FULL PLAYLIST BELOW

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[redantsunderneath]

folklore

fokalore is Taylor Swift’s Darkness on the Edge of Town – the first thing you notice about this record is the point of view(s).  The usual approach to any Swift song is to assume the subjective orientation is all her’s and then to ask, situationally, who/what/where is she singing about. Lover took this to its natural conclusion – a cultivated megalomania where her relationship to her partners and fans expand to cover the nature of America itself.  Here, however, even on a first listen, it is obvious that a number of the songs can’t be her, and on a second you start to doubt that any are.  The jump here is most analogous to the jump between Springsteen’s early career magnum opus Born to Run, which brought his epic street folk tales of his life lived in and around The City to full flower, and the southern literature infused “stories of other lives lived” of Darkness on the Edge of Town that carves out a broader American mythology from the third person and the suggestion that these are things that have resonance to his life, that none of the songs are about him but all of them together are, somehow.  The album seems tied together like something between Everything that Rises Must Converge and Visit from the Goon Squad.  

Wait, no... folklore is Taylor Swift’s Inland Empire – structure is all important in a serious TS effort, which this is.  1989’s cosine wave of relationship’s downhill slope and Kubler-Ross recovery (Fire Walk with Me’s horrific fall and redemption) and Lover’s 1st 2/3 exploration of the symbolic order ending in a crash with the last 1/3 a negotiation with the real (Mulholland Drive) give way to something rhizomal (more specifically fractal) with meaning derived from connections like a box of photos from multiple people whose stories connect in variable ways, forming a vortex of a story no individual part of which is entirely consistent with any other.  The central story, that keeps echoing around and out is of a love triangle with an infidelity that acquires a folk tale resonance and haunts everything.   This would also describe Inland Empire.

There is no dearth of online commentary on connections to her life.  She bought a mansion in Rhode Island, and last great american dynasty is about the history of the house, with its Jazz age parties and imagery, and the mad woman at the center living her party forever lifestyle. epiphany is about her grandfather’s war experiences as related to current heathcare work in the time of COVID.  Inez, James and Betty (the named characters in the central story) are the names of Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively’s daughters.  invisible string, the only definitive song from her non-hoax POV is full of allusions to her relationship with Joe Alwyn. The opening track, the 1, has been shouted from the rooftop by the Swift camp as being about “a friend” not her, which you would be hard pressed to know is you weren’t putting in the extranoematic effort.  But the core trio of songs, the most “character” based are cardigan, august, and betty, which tell the core of a story about three teenagers from each POV (the cheated on, the cheated with, and the cheater respectively), two of which have been in love for a while, who threaten to fall apart after one has a fling with a third party, and who may make it work after all. It is significantly unspecified what gender James is.

Around this swarm another group of songs that seem to apply, whether they are strictly about the same people or not.  seven seems like backstory for the triangle with some Swift specificity.  this is me trying seems like a version of an apology in the story, but with whiskey that suggests it’s happening to someone older.  illicit affairs is about the fling, but it began in expensive rooms (though it ended ended up in the mall parking lots of the core songs). mad woman serves to connect last great american dynasty to my tears ricochet (which is pointedly from the POV of the tormentor of a Swift-like figure, but she’s identifying with both) which also feels like the unnamed other woman of the main triangle’s ultimate fate. Again, no genders.

The unities are created with a few tidy motifs, threads through the work that sometimes reach back to other works.  The roaring 20s/Great Gatsby (remember This is Why We Can’t have nice things and the 4th of July parties), how “they” think the young know nothing, the hero being gone (from “the film”) so what’s the story now, parking lots, cobblestones, streetlamps, summer as a liminal frame, axes and knives, warmth for the ex that has a family now, kingdoms, cliffsides, the idea of an agitating presence being a feature-not-bug, blue referring to her boyfriend and sadness both… It’s a nice web.

What about the remaining tracks?  exile is a biblical abstraction of the broken relationship; it connects to everything (it’s the rabbit scenes from Inland Empire). mirrorball is an example of one of my favorite TS things, the song about how her “self” may not exist since she only exists as a reflective, fragmented surface (this directly contrasts to the project of the rest of the album). Epiphany is a parallel drawing of a line from the early 20th century to today, a nod to real death as a contrast to emotional death. Invisible string is the only “true” song on the album.  Peace is an attempt to put the set of ideas to bed, however uncomfortably.

But the bracketing (first and last) songs are interesting.  The album was complete, the story goes, and she wrote the two in an evening to put a parenthesis around the whole project.  On a first listen, you can’t help but ask “is this a breakup album? Are her and Joe done?”  The last song would seem to underscore this.  Seemingly written as her, she existentially wails about “your” faithless love being the only hoax she believes in. But, as is the case so often here, the identity is unclear. Is it him?  Her audience? Herself?  But the title of the song is hoax. It’s just vague enough that you can suspect it’s about the search for meaning through the process of songwriting, and that everything you’ve just heard is a lie but is still oh so true. You are prepared for this after the first song, the 1, which seems to be about her, and would act to unify the album under the umbrella of her attempt at distancing from an event at a 4thof July party (her summer parties at her RI house were legendary), but we have been repeatedly told in the press that it is in fact not about her but about a friend (Selena Gomez?).  The framing of opening with a bait and switch and ending with “hoax” calls into question the reality of everything.

Moments snap together like magnets lego.  The album is deeply retropseudonostalgic, accent on the algos. She’s sorting through other people’s stories that speak to her (that feel like a piece of her), putting on her theory of mind hat and trying to compassionately inhabit them,  and building an elaborate fantasy of heartbreak and healing that she knows people will project onto her. The gender is left fluid, and the album doesn't have lesbian overtones as much as is completely identity agnostic.  The line through mirrorball and hoax is the axis the album rotates around, producing an inversion of her obsession – instead of her subjectivity dominating to the extent that she doesn’t exist except as a conscious hologram implied by the event horizon of her public image, being cut off from the feedback loop has forced her to inhabit the perspectives of others that occupy all points in a large story in which she can see a sketch of herself from the outside.