#and the treatment I need is probably going to cost basically all the money I have

[thethingything]

our brain's decided to freak out over shit that definitely feels ridiculous and like we're freaking out over something tiny and I can't even pinpoint why the thing is an issue but our brain clearly does not fucking like it.

but I just realised we missed some doses of one of our usual medications and from past experience that gives us wild mood swings and makes us get upset about tiny things and just have an overall shit time so I guess that explains at least some of what our brain's been doing today.

there's also just the fact that we're so overwhelmed with stress and pain and medication side effects and struggling to keep up with anything that even tiny things that wouldn't normally be an issue end up giving us panic attacks and being absolute hell to deal with.

but unfortunately I still have to deal with feeling like I'm being overly-dramatic and like people are judging me for it and it doesn't fucking help that we've already had so many instances over the last month where we've been told our triggers don't make sense and that we're too sensitive and need to just shut up and deal with things and should bottle up our emotions so other people don't have to deal with us being stressed and upset

[atmilliways]

Wrong On The Money (1-3)

parts 1, 2, & 3 of ?? | 888 words | Teen+

Blackmail fic on Ao3 | on tumblr

Summary:

Wayne is sick and they don't have the money for the treatment he needs. Eddie, desperate and spread thin between school, a part time job, and dealing, spots Steve outside of a gay club and opts for blackmail. Steve, who has heard about Wayne through Dustin... just sort of lets him.

I started writing this while Ao3 is down. Haven't quite finished it yet, but I've got 6.7k written so far, so I should be able to do daily posts for at least a while!

Now also posted on Ao3.

Quick note, if it helps anyone who might be hit too close to home by Wayne's serious but relatively brief health scare. First, he's going to be fine. I love Wayne, I wouldn't do that to him. Second, Dustin's mind goes straight to cancer when he hears that it's serious serious, but Wayne's illness is never specified. The only symptoms described are basically a cough and general weakness/fatigue.

1.

Dustin is really upset one day after school, the day he tells Steve about his dad. 

Steve had never asked, alright? It was family shit, and that kind of thing was. . . . Well, not sacred, he can’t even think that and keep a straight face, but definitely private. There could’ve been any number of reasons why Mr. Henderson wasn’t around. 

Turns out it was cancer.

And . . . it’s not insensitive to wonder, right? Steve doesn't know if it’s an anniversary or if someone’s been giving him shit at school about not having a dad or something. So, after a few bumbling questions about why this is upsetting him now, an explanation comes tumbling out.

The leader or president or whatever of the nerd club Dustin joined at the start of the year had to cancel their game this week. “Eddie never cancels, Steve,” Dustin insists, eyes red from crying and voice gone all squeaky. “And we were giving him shit about it, we all were, even the upperclassmen guys, and he. . . he j-just broke, Steve. Said his uncle is r-really sick, bad sick, and I know what that means. They don’t have the money for treatment. He’s Eddie’s only family, and he’s probably going t-to. . . .”

Steve regrets dropping Robin off at her house first today. She might not know what to say either, but at least they’d be in this together. “Dust, that’s. . . . That’s awful.”

Turns out he doesn’t have to say anything else, because Dustin thumps against him and bawls his eyes out. 

2.

“It was awful, Robs,” Steve says, rubbing a hand over his eyes as he talks into the phone. “I haven’t seen him like that since after Starcourt, when we had to tell him about Hop.”

Robin’s wince is audible in her reply. “Yeah, that's. . . . That’s pretty bad.”

“Yeah.” He heaves a sigh, hoping it’ll get some of the constricted feeling out of his chest. It doesn’t.

“Steve? Are you okay?”

“I don’t know.” It’s just, he hates it. Hated it then and hates it now, because both times there’s no way for him to jump between Dustin and this thing. “Everything was starting to sort of feel okay again, and then suddenly there's Eddie ‘The Freak’ Munson and his uncle, who I’ve never even seen in my life—”

“It’s not about the Munsons, Steve,” Robin says gently. “You and Dustin have that ‘you die I die’ thing. He’s like your kid brother who annoys the shit out of you, but you love him to death anyway. And right now he’s sad but you can’t do anything to help.”

Lifting his face from his hand, Steve looks around the room. He’s on the big comfortable couch in his big fucking house with too many rooms, all empty except for this one. His parents are never home, always away on business trips that got way more frequent after Barbara Holland disappeared from a party he’d hosted. They send money—not an allowance, not since he didn’t get into any of the colleges he’d applied to. But the utility bills are always paid up, and a gardener still comes around to do lawn maintenance every other week.

He wonders how the cost of maintaining a house they don’t live in compares to the cost of whatever kind of treatment Munson’s uncle needs.

Doesn’t let himself wonder if it would make a difference, but he knows that treatments don’t always work. It hadn’t, apparently, for Dustin’s dad.

“Yeah,” Steve agrees heavily. “I know.”

3.

The nice thing about being done with high school and working weekends at a shitty retail job is, Steve can do whatever he wants on some weekdays. As long as he doesn’t have a shift that starts before noon the next day, anyway. Which he doesn’t.

So, a few days after Dustin’s revelations, Steve drives up to the nearest outskirts of Indy. Eventually he ends up in one of those clubs that he and Robin have been researching how to find.

He tells himself that he’s scoping it out before he brings her, but he wants to get lost for a while. Empty his head out of things he can’t do a damn thing about—the Upside Down, the monsters, the Russians, the Munsons, the memories of Dustin crying and, just for funsies, of Nancy calling him bullshit. Because that’s always somewhere in the mix, these days.

Fill it back up with music and movement. Not with drinks, because he still has to get himself back to Hawkins in one piece.

He goes and he dances and he sweats. Sometimes guys dance with him, and Steve goes with it. Who cares? No one knows him here, it doesn’t mean anything.

Turns out, it does mean something after all. 

When Steve finally stumbles his way out of the club, he finds none other than Eddie Munson sitting on the hood of the Beemer he’s been buying off of his parents in installments. (Their idea. It’s a ‘pay for it or lose it’ kind of deal.) 

The buzzing under his sweat-tacky skin—satisfaction at successfully getting out of his head—fizzles out. He keeps walking and stops when he draws even with the car. 

Eddie Munson, looking tired and prickling with restless energy, and exhales a cloud of smoke and vapor into the chilly air. “Hey, man. What’s a nice boy like you doing in a place like this?”

[stonerskinny]

everything is going to work out.

i am going to ask my cousin to co-sign on a personal loan with me. i think that she will say yes if only because i think she feels bad for me because, yknow. dead mom (my mom was her aunt, so). i am going to assume she will because if she does not then im fucked because i don’t have a backup plan. but assuming she says yes, i can probably use that money to get a plumber in to fix my water heater (or get a new one if i have to) and i’d coordinate with my cousin so she could be at my house for that, or ill talk to my neighbor and see if he can do that instead. i can also use it to pay off my lawyers, and cover the costs of treatment up until my deductible is met. and when i don’t have all that looming over me i think ill be able to get myself back to work and start repaying it pretty quickly.

everything is going to work out.

you see, the thing about a cardiologist is that you cannot fight them. i mean, you can, but it would be stupid. because cardiologists always win. they take that shit seriously. and they will do whatever they need to. so i can hope all i want that the one i see on monday is going to clear me but i don’t know what’s wrong with my EKG, and even if i did i can’t know what risks she will perceive that i don’t. i am far out of my wheelhouse here. my fate is basically in her hands now and there is nothing i can do about it. i will get an answer eventually. i just might not like it.

everything is going to work out.

it has to.

[wrestlingisfake]

For the Sickos

I shouldn't let this bug me, but it's sticking in my craw. Kevin Kelly did an interview with Eric Bischoff this week, and had this to say:

"His vision of what wrestling is, for me, works best on a small scale. People always wonder why did PWG stay small? Well they knew, I think, they knew that if they went big that it would go stale fast, and they had to stay small to keep it special, to keep it niche. He wants to appeal to a niche audience with his vision of wrestling. He thinks he can convince the people to watch on a grand scale."

I'm no insider, but it seems to me that Pro Wrestling Guerilla stays small because it costs a lot of money to go big. They had a formula that was sustainable at a small level, and they didn't mind staying at that small level, so it wasn't worth taking a huge financial risk to try to expand.

Here's another way to look at it: PWG has been on hiatus since August 2023, because Super Dragon is focusing on his girlfriend's cancer treatment. Again, I'm no insider, but I suspect that if he wanted to, he could get some people to run shows while he's busy. But that would cost money, which would increase the promotion's budget, and it would alter the promotion's style, which would increase the financial risk. So instead PWG went on hiatus--not to avoid going stale, or to "keep it niche," but because Super Dragon is unwilling to incur the added costs/risks that would come with a different solution.

Super Dragon makes the right choices for himself and his promotion. But the fact he won't gamble big money on upscaling PWG doesn't mean the gamble could never pay off. The fact nobody will take that bet except Tony Khan doesn't prove it can't work. All we've established here is that a billionaire's son can afford to take chances that an indy wrestling promoter wouldn't, which is self-evident.

But here's what really bugs me about the PWG comparison: Tony Khan doesn't need to "convince the people to watch on a grand scale" because they've been watching for 246 weeks and counting. Granted, TV viewers and ticket sales are down from their peak. But ten years ago there were plenty of naysayers who would insist that a PWG clone would be "too niche" to draw 2,500 butts in seats and over 500k watching at home on a weekly basis. Even if AEW shuts down tomorrow, it's proven there's a much higher ceiling for that kind of wrestling than Reseda.

The only open question, then, is whether Tony Khan is leaving money on the table by booking "for the sickos," instead of doing whatever Kevin Kelly or Eric Bischoff or Jim Cornette or CM Punk would have him do. But this is basically the same question of expansion that we examined with PWG. Changing AEW's style to draw more "casual fans" would only introduce new risk. And it'd be a fairly big risk, since "casual fans" already have plenty of WWE to watch. As long as AEW is financially stable (and we probably won't know that until the new TV deal comes through), then TK doesn't really need to take that risk unless he wants to. Judging by AEW's new "FOR THE SICKOS" shirt, I'd say he's comfortable standing pat.

[navvyu]

An: Thanks for requesting! This request is so cute (*＾წ＾*) also i'd like to note i used wikihow as a reference point for this writing (。_。) i hope it's to your liking (๑•̀ㅂ•́)و✧ (PS this is pretty unorganized... oops?)

(reader is referred to as girlfriend!)

Trans fem! Reader coming out to them

*not beta read

Includes: Azul, Jamil, Jade (established relationship w/ all) +Bonus Floyd and Najima (platonic)

Azul

Azul maybe confused at first and may need you to explain a little bit but he's very supportive!

He compares it to some sea animals that have hermaphroditic features

Azul is willing to try and find some temporary fixes to dysphoria like potions or something

He comes up with the most cheesy pet names for you, stuff like "My wonderful, gorgeous, darling, girlfriend" and "My beautiful girlfriend" etc.

Will PERSONALLY beat up transphobes. It doesn't matter if he's horrible at physical activity, HE WANTS TO THROW HANDS.

Will cover expenses for HRT along with estrogen and anti-androgens

Azul will stop working just to comfort you if your feeling dysphoric at any point

He'll accompany you to pride parades, protests, and any LGBT+ events you wish to go to

During pride month he puts out a limited time menu that has 'lgbt+ themed' drinks and dishes (maybe some merch if he has a little extra money)

Azul helps make your social transition as easy as he can make it, for example: He has changed your school id to have your chosen name, he kinda eases his employes and other people into using your chosen name and pronouns, along with other small but meaningful changes

He paints your nails 'feminine' colors every few weeks just as a hobby because he thinks it's fun

"My darling, your so gorgeous... I'm so lucky to have you."

Jamil

Jamil is fully supportive, and he's very proud that you came out to him

Jamil if he knows that your comfortable with sharing your transition, may mention it to Kalim.

Kalim being Kalim will cover all expenses related to your transition simply for the reason he wants to help you out and he genuinely thinks you deserve a stress-free transition

Jamil is willing to basically do anything to help your dysphoria, no but literally he will do like ANYTHING

He usually walks with you to go get your estrogen or anything you need to pick up relating to your transition (he just wants to make sure nobody is bothering you for needing your stuff)

Has a burning hatred for transphobes but he can't really do anything physically because as his status as a servant but he won't shy away from being extremely passive aggressive

If you decide to grow your hair out, he likes brushing through it and styling it

If you want to go to any LGBT+ events he'll go with you, if your lucky he might buy you some stuff

Jamil is excellent on helping you with your social transition, though he may slip up like twice

Jamil is excellent at doing makeup, if you ask him to do your makeup he'll gratefully comply

"There... now your dazzling as ever."

Jade

Jade, like Azul needs a bit of explaining what it means but he has a better understanding of what being trans fem is

Very supportive, he actually asks Azul for a little extra on that weeks pay check so he can take you on a shopping spree

Jade definitely helps with the costs and Azul and Floyd Probably Pitch in so you barely have to pay for any treatments regarding your transition

If you feel dysphoric Jade will do one of three things: 1) Wrap you in a fluffy blanket, 2) He rants to you about his mushrooms to get your mind off your dysphoria, 3) Verbal praise about how absolutely beautiful you are

Jade is usually the one going out to get supplies for you ("just because" is his reason)

If Jade encounters a transphobe that has the gull to bother you he will but his classic customer service smile on then he'll give them a 'modest' beating

has you try on jewelry, or go out to pick flowers with him every other week

If you want to go to a pride parade Jade buys a shirt that just says in comic sans "I love my girlfriend" and he wears it to EVERY parade

any other LGBT+ events he is willing to go with you

he's great at aiding your social transition, He's surprisingly good at making people slip up less on your name and pronouns

if your into fashion, he'll buy you women's fashion magazine's and then he'll just leave them on your bedside table

"Is it just me or are you more beautiful today?"

Bonus! :

Floyd

Floyd is fully supportive of your transition!

Floyd tastes you about dating Jade saying stuff like; "Why would you date Jade? All he talks about are his nasty mushrooms."

He will beat someone up in your honor, no questions asked

Floyd paints your nails every other week IT'S NON-NEGOTIABLE (if you don't want to he won't force you but he really enjoys it)

If he finds out somebody was being transphobic to you he will squeeze them like literally the second after he learns who

Overall nothing really changes from his normal behavior

"Heyyy shimpy! Tell Jade it's unfair HE gets such a cool girlfriend."

Najima

Najima (platonically) LOVES you

She quite literally just drags you away from Jamil so you two can hang out

Every time you visit her, she insists that you two have a girl night: face masks, painting nails, gossip, eating snacks, karaoke, the whole package

She's loves teasing Jamil about how he "Finally got somebody to deal with [his] horrible attitude"

Najima will bitch slap somebody if they are transphobic towards you

If your visiting her and you need your estrogen, she'll go with you to get it

if you want any advice, she your girl!

"Finally another girl! Hope Jamil doesn't mind if I steal you for a while!"

hermaphroditic - a sexually reproducing organism that produces both male and female gametes(- ability to have both female and male reproductive systems)

Extra note: I added Floyd and Najima in the POV that your dating their sibling thats why they are not written as romantic :DD

[shealynn88]

A few things, appropriate for disability pride, probably.

I have MS, and have for a long time. I went off treatment about 10 years ago and then, when I had issues, could not get to a neurologist for various stupid reasons, most having to do with not being able to get them to transfer my records.

My symptoms have always been quite mild and I am EXTREMELY lucky and well aware of that.

I have a job that is very flexible and a boss who is very understanding and I am paid well. My insurance is pretty bad, but otherwise, again, I am EXTREMELY lucky.

I found out yesterday, having finally gotten to a new Neuro with none of my old records, that my disease is active and I will need to go back on disease modifying drugs.

This was disappointing, despite it being the smartest and best thing to do right now, because the cost is going to be, out of pocket, probably a good portion up to my entire deductible, which is 5 digits. Between my MRI (which I’ll need yearly) and my meds, I will likely be shelling all that out every year going forward.

Part of that money was earmarked for improvements to my house. Some of it was just for the basics of living.

I did apply for an assistance program but I’m worried it won’t help much. It is insane that, on top of living with this shit disease and the ways it fucks with me, and the horror of trying to get a dr to see and care for me, I also get to shell out a bucket of money every year to hopefully not get worse.

and like I said, I’m LUCKY. I HAVE the ability to save and my disease is under control enough and my company cool enough that I can work to make the money I need and get treatment and not worry about time off, and all of that means I’m doing SO WELL compared to so many others in the US who have chronic illness.

And it’s still going to be a setback for me, even with all that privilege.

[inkfire-scribe]

*kicks down the door* I have thoughts about anti-capitalism

To be clear, I'm not talking about anti-materialism. That is, I am not talking about not buying stuff. I like stuff. I love buying stuff.

I'm talking about anti-capitalism, or specifically the dislike, disapproval of, and desire to dismantle the economic system that currently rules the world. Capitalism values money above all else, to the detriment of basically everyone.

Who does shoplifting hurt? Not big chain stores like Apple and Home Depot. Who does debt hurt? Not the rich or the lenders. Who's hurt by high medical costs? Not the doctors and pharmacists - it's the people who need the treatments they offer get hurt.

My whole life, I've been told that being in debt is either an inescapable reality or a moral failing, and I don't think either one of those things is true. If we as a species were to value health, safety, and the pursuit of happiness more than we value money then many of the world's problems would already be solved.

So I reject capitalist values. Going into debt is a thing that will happen (to me) because the assholes that control the money are reducing how much they give and increasing how much they demand. If I have a way to get around them or game the system, I'm doing it, because my current happiness is worth that effort. The present is important, and I want to invest in it. Anyone who promotes being miserable in the present in order to secure future happiness is either a fool or a con-man. The difference is probably in whether or not you paid to hear them say that.

The future is something you plan for, not something you live for.

[elendsessor]

maybe i shouldn’t be complaining since i refuse to buy any of the new pokemon games until there’s an improvement quality wise but for the people sticking around with the franchise the sv dlc is actually insulting. ngl i feel the need to emphasize that i do still love pokemon despite all the blunders in recent years and i’m only so harsh because i want the series to improve and also prove that it doesn’t have to be the butt of jokes now that it’s become infamous for low quality and a rabid fanbase. hell, the fans deserve so much better. they have saintly patiences to put up with the treatment nostalgia blind or not. they shouldn’t be treated like mindless consumers that will buy every bit of slop put out because they, too, love and want to see the franchise they adore get better.

but i don’t care how many copies it sold or how good the story is. i don’t care if it’s overhated or something. i don’t care who decided for it to be priced the way it is or if the staff working on it did the best they could (because it is the higher ups’ fault). this is an insult. this is inexcusable. this is a prime example of how far not just the series but triple a gaming has fallen.

if you have violet, you have to wait a couple more months. if you don’t have the switch online membership or friends to trade with, you have to buy the same game—a game that costs $60 without tax—and, regardless, pay over half the price to experience a dlc for a game that released in such a poor state that there was mass refunds and nintendo actually had to issue an apology for. that’s visually horrendous and runs like trash for a modern title for a triple a franchise. that still has bugs and glitches galore that hasn’t been ironed out much if at all. that’s basically another cog in the modern gaming mentality machine that is “release the game unfinished.” that’s only backbone is the pre existing fanbase and, again, nostalgia like its goddamn disney. all for a couple new pokemon and the chance that it’s better than the base game. if it has to cost money, at most, it would be worth $10.

i have no idea who decided the pricing but. higher ups at game freak, nintendo, whatever, you make millions upon millions every quarter from merchandise alone. the team that works on these games is incredibly small and not even near the number of workers on other gaming projects by other studios not nearly as successful as the pokemon dev studio. there’s not many who need to be paid and hell they’re probably getting paid the bare minimum. pokemon is the highest grossing franchise in the world. you can afford to make the dlc cheaper. you can afford to take more time to develop newer shit. nobody will complain or care.

please for the love of god do not support this. even if you decide anyways to pay for the dlc, don’t just turn a blind eye to what’s actually going on and where your money actually goes because it does not go towards the improvement of the product’s quality. this goes for anything, really, but for such a big franchise this is especially appalling.

[donnerpartyofone]

I know this isn't a new idea and I do not have a specific and detailed solution to offer, but I really, strongly feel like you shouldn't have to pay to go anywhere. Like not only should there be widely available mass transit, but it should really be free. Setting luxury options aside, travel feels like a fake product. The idea that you have to pay to access geographic locations on a planet we can't help sharing, and where there are sometimes far-apart things you MUST do like go to work or to the doctor or to a funeral, feels the same to me as the idea of Nestlé privatizing water. There's this episode of [sitcom of canceled comedian] where somebody says of NYC something like "It costs $50 an hour just to be outside here," and he's totally right. (And incidentally the episode ends with his suicide) You always have to budget for even minor travel and emergencies/incidentals (ie buying something in order to use a restroom), and it winds up feeling like you have to pay just to leave your apartment. I think it's in Philip K Dick's Ubik where everything is basically coin operated and you have to pay to like open and close your refrigerator, let alone to get in and out of your apartment. The increasing push to transform ownership into subscription services feels like that. But anyway I have to go to part 2 of a TMJ evaluation that's supposed to help with my tinnitus and neck pain, that is probably just going to tell me that I need an $8,000 treatment that insurance doesn't cover; I'll have spent $12 just traveling to do this, and that seems stupid to me. Sure, I COULD have built a couple hours into my day to walk there, or you can ride a bike if you are willing and able, but that's beside the point. It even bothers me, for extra reasons, that getting a passport is so expensive. Even if the state could somehow prove that they absolutely cannot reallocate, like, whatever they're paying the gangs of cops who stand together on subway platforms playing Candy Crush on their phones all over the city, to actually make the subways functional and free...I still think everybody should get a free passport. Making a certain amount of money shouldn't be a requirement for crossing artificial boundaries to do stuff that might actually be important, or non-negotiable. Or that you shouldn't need an excuse for, you should just be able to go places.

[takkarulz]

Beraking Bungee Gum

Chapter 2

(Prev chapter here)

The Mexican chicken restaurant Machi had picked resulted an excellent option, given out their affordable prices and the delicious and spicy food they were offering, as well as the fact that it had a small area for children to play, so Machi´s toddler girl could play a bit while both ate. Hisoka was pleased to see Machi again even if it also mean to babysit Sarasa too and discuss that “business” that Machi was suggested him. Honestly, Hisoka didn´t think that Machi could be the kind of person who is down to any illegal activity, however he also never thought that Machi would have ended marring off some dude from humanities and staying most of her marriage as either as housewife or as an underpaid high school teacher instead of teaching in some prestigious university or becoming a well-paid engineer or CEO of some important chemical company. She had been one of the top students of her generation after all and as far as he knew, she had participated in an award-winning project during her last semester at university. It was a shame that now she was working in some run of the mill high school, instead of teaching at a prestigious university or getting insane amounts of money in some chemical related business.

“Well, do you got what I told you?” Said Machi to Hisoka as she chewed a chicken wing.

“Yeah, I got that caravan and everything. I knew some dude from our college theatre club who gave me a special price on his old camping caravan, so I only spend 985000 jenny on that. Supposing that we are sharing in an egalitarian way you should return me at least 492500.” Said Hisoka with a grin.

Machi swallowed her own saliva as she heard the number. Even if the cost of that caravan was cheaper that she had imagined it was still a lot of money. Even her account and the account of Chrollo combined didn’t have that much money to spend. However, Machi knew that she could not falter in that moment. Besides, she was 100% sure that she was going to get back the money in a matter of days.

“Do still have the chemical supplies?”  Asked Machi.

“Yes, but is not much. I just managed to get some of the backup shit that I made just in case. But I’m sure we can make some batches if we are careful.”

Machi sighed and proceed to give another bite of that spicy and greasy chicken to then fill her mouth with French fries and swallow an overly sweet coconut agua fresca. She knew that probably she would not be able to eat so much junk food once her treatment started, chemo would likely fuck her stomach and probably Chrollo would likely try to coax her into try those alternative diets as he tried to do with Shizuku when she was first diagnosed with ADHD and autism. Machi felt like crying when she started to think in how she still had not told him anything about her illness yet. She still did not have the courage to tell her family about it, despite her pain and tiredness becoming every day more evident. She had even ghosted her own doctor on her phone due all her feeling of denial and inability of coping with her imminent illness and possible death.

“Poop! Poop!” Screamed Sasara running towards Machi pulling her from her mind. Hisoka just giggled at the spontaneous way in which Sarasa announced her basic necessities.

“Do you need to go to the potty, Sarasa?” Asked Machi to her child, who only proceed to hug her with a worried expression.

“Dang! She soiled herself again!” Growled Machi, recognizing the smell and the way in which her girl acted when she did not arrive to the toilet on time. She and Chrollo had been trying to train her to not soil herself but she still have lots of "accidents", specially when she was not at home.

“Isn’t she a bit too big to shit herself?” Asked Hisoka.

“Hisoka, Sarasa is only two years old! She still has to learn! And stop saying vulgar things in front of her!” Screamed Machi angry.

“What vulgar thing did I said Machi?” Asked Hisoka playfully.

“Shit!” Screamed with anger Machi realizing way too late that she had been pranked by that stupid clown. The rest of the persons of the restaurant looked at the her with a disgusted expression, making Machi feel way too embarrassed to say a word. And to add insult to the injury Machi could saw that both Chrollo and Shizuku entered to the restaurant in the exact moment when she said “shit” almost like if they were the intended audience of that vulgar show.

“What are you doing here?” asked Chrollo very worried as he saw Machi and Sarasa accompanied by that extravagant man.

“Hi! You must be Machi’s husband! Is a pleasure to meet you again Chrollo, it has been a while since college!” Said Hisoka.

“Hisoka? From the drama club?” asked Chrollo disconcerted. He vaguely remembered that Hisoka had joined to the drama club with him just to be expelled from college a few weeks after joining them and helping them with the Midsummer Night's Dream play they were preparing.

“Yes, that’s me. I just saw Machi and your baby girl Sarasa eating here so I joined them to talk a bit about the old times and shake the stress away!” Said Hisoka.

“Well, what a coincidence… I just passed by here with Shizuku after her therapy appointment because we both wanted to try that horchata drink they were serving or maybe give a try to that new strawberry agua fresca.” Answered Chrollo.

“Both are really good, but if you want to get the best stuff here, I’ll recommend to give try to the coconut agua fresca.” Recommended Hisoka.

“That coconut drink sounds good papa.” Said Shizuku, agreeing with Hisoka recommendation.

“Well, maybe we should give it a try. Do you want to stay with us for a bit more Hisoka? It has been a while and I would love to know what have you been doing all these years!” Said Chrollo relaxing a bit despite the weirdness of their encounter.

“I would love to do that too, but I have to go my dear friend. Also, I think you should help Machi a bit with Sarasa, she just pooped her pants and your wife seems way too tired to deal with a diaper emergency.” Said Hisoka bluntly.

Chrollo didn’t hesitated in taking the baby bag from Machi’s table and carrying Sarasa to the bathroom. Machi smiled relieved as she saw how Shizuku just sat on a nearby table and started to play Yoshi's Island in her Nintendo DS ignoring everybody around her.

“So, tomorrow we start our operation?” Said Hisoka in an almost inaudible voice.

“Yes.” Said Machi, determined to get that money by any mean possible.

Hisoka just smiled as he got out the restaurant.

[findingmypeace]

11/26/2022

TW: emotional trauma

I’m on my phone so I can’t do a text cut.

I’ve been crying off and on for the past hour. Sometimes it takes me awhile to put my feelings into words. Tonight I finally fully understand why I’m so incredibly pissed off at my parents, besides the obvious. I was finally able to put into words what I felt this summer.

This is a very vulnerable post for me to make so please be nice. Going to treatment this time around put me in a very, very bad spot financially. I had absolutely no income. I asked my parents for help through many different avenues. Some that would cost them nothing. But in response to me asking for help I got comments from both my parents that were incredibly mean. For example, “You chose to develop an eating disorder and since you chose it now you have to fix it.” That was from my Dad. My Mom said, “You’re an addict and addicts die.” I didn’t care that she called me an addict. It was the fact that she is so nonchalant about me dying. It’s like she’s already accepted my death. And here’s the part that I put into words tonight. It’s not about the money/finances. I’ve thought that all along. It’s about the ‘lesson’ they were trying to teach me. They want so badly for me to ‘fix’ my ed (so I can live a life their proud of ie: make money) yet they think it’s incredibly irresponsible of me to get help. They’ve always thought that. The lesson is that I’m completely irresponsible for going to treatment. And how I interpret that is they’d rather have me die than to admit something is wrong. Last summer (summer 2021) before I went to treatment my Mom told me that I shouldn’t go to treatment because I ‘enjoy’ it. Her reasoning was that she attended a parent group with me (which is shocking) and I was laughing and smiling with the other girls. Going back to the conversation last summer, I told her that hurt my feelings. Her response was, “Well you don’t want me to lie, do you?” To my point, it’s clear they think this all some game to me. It’s a way for me to avoid responsibility of my life. Nevermind that I’m starting to have heart problems. That doesn’t matter. Before I went back to treatment this summer I told my Mom about the heart problems. After I finished explaining she said, “Well, I’ll let you go now.” And then we said goodbye and hung up. That’s in contrast to LS’s response of care and concern and actually having a conversation with me. Essentially, my parents don’t care. It’s just a stupid thing I’m doing in order to avoid my responsibilities and I need to be taught a lesson so that I can conform to their standards and live a “successful” life. Nevermind the fact that despite everything I have earned a Masters degree, become a licensed therapist, and I’m working on my Ph.D. My Mom also told me that all my treatment providers want is my money. That they don’t care about me and will ‘bleed me dry’. That makes me wonder if she thinks that about me since I’m a therapist.

This all came about tonight because every Christmas my family does a ‘gift exchange’. This is separate from the gifts on Christmas morning. Basically we draw names out of hat and then we give our assigned person our gift on Christmas Eve after a special Christmas Eve dinner. Just my luck, I happen to be giving to my Dad and receiving from my Mom. How the fuck did that happen? My sister-law-said she swears she did it randomly by picking slips of paper for each person. I kept thinking and thinking about it. First, because of the ‘lesson’ my parents were trying to teach me and because I’m in between jobs I probably won’t be able to afford a gift this year. Second, do I really want to give a gift to someone who only cares about me if I’m successful? Who thinks my eating disorder is a choice and a game I’m playing? But I don’t want to ruin the gift exchange and make it awkward for my siblings and their spouses. I’m still not going to visit them. But my brother and his girlfriend will be going up there and I figured I give my brother the gift to give my Dad. But should I really give him something? I’ve talked to my Mom once since July, which was a disaster and I spent the rest of the day in the hospital trying to keep myself safe. I haven’t talked to my Dad at all. The last time I talked to him was when he made that comment about me ‘choosing’ to develop my eating disorder.

Finally putting it all into words makes me never want to talk to them again. But like I’ve said all along, I miss them. I hate myself for missing them. I cheer on the Los Angeles Dodgers because that’s my Dad’s favorite team. I see the peppermint bark in the store and I think of my Mom because she would always buy that. I love them but they hurt me so deeply. Right now, I don’t know if I can ever talk to them again but I miss them so much.

[uboat53]

So here's a question, is it more important that an anti-poverty program only give people what we feel they deserve or is it more important that it work in terms of getting them out of poverty?

I ask because this is becoming one of the key issues in debates about the social safety net here in the United States. Specifically, requirements that people be deserving of help is preventing us from implementing policies that we know help people out of poverty. I guess this is a bit of a LONG RANT (TM).

THE PROBLEM

You might be surprised to know this, but we actually know fairly well how to get people out of all kinds of poverty. With about 90% or more success, we actually have pretty good strategies to deal with all kinds of problems from homelessness to drug use to simply not having enough money to cover basic needs. All of that has well known solutions that are backed by really solid academic research.

The problem is that almost every solution involves giving somebody something at the start with no strings attached and conservatives especially have a problem with this because one of their core beliefs is that someone needs to earn assistance.

A DEEPER DIVE

I want to look closer at some of the methodology because it's important that you understand how this works. To start with, humans are not designed for sustained stress. We're designed for quick stresses, an animal chases you, you run or fight, you either live or you don't. Sustained stress causes huge physical damage to our bodies and, importantly, also affects our thought processes in really problematic ways.

Poverty is probably the most common sustained stress in the modern world. Not knowing if you're going to be able to pay bills tomorrow, having to choose between this necessity and that necessity, or just going further and further into debt that you'll never be able to repay is a massive stress for the people going through it.

What we've found is that the most effective way to get people out of that situation is to begin by alleviating the stress. In the case of homelessness you would give them a place, any place, to live, in the case of financial distress you would give them money, and in the case of drug use you'd give them a place to do drugs safely. By taking away at least some of the stress you allow this person to recover from stress induced patterns of behavior and, hopefully, begin making the kind of more considered choices that could eventually lead them out of poverty and sustain themselves.

This is why conditional assistance is less successful. It may be that it is in this person's best interest to do the thing you are requiring them to do and it may be that this would be the most effective way on paper to get them out of poverty, but a person in the midst of a sustained stress will likely be less capable of performing whatever task it is consistently and the more tasks are required in order to get assistance, the less likely it is that any person will be able to actually complete them all.

THE BIGGER PROBLEM

So if we know what works, then what's the problem? It turns out that some people don't have ending poverty as their primary goal. Some people think it's more important that assistance of any kind be earned than that it be successful, and a lot of them are now in positions of power.

Poverty is expensive, not just for the person in it, but also for society as a whole. People in poverty use services that they can't pay for which means that the costs are borne by society as a whole. Our prison systems are full of people who commit crimes of desperation and emergency rooms regularly treat people who cannot afford to pay for treatment among other things, all of which are about the most expensive ways to deal with the issues that they address.

In other words, not only are programs that give assistance without conditions much more effective at ending poverty, they're also orders of magnitude less expensive than our current conditional system.

MORALITY

Let's take a look at the root of the problem now, and I'm going to make an argument here so this isn't purely analytical. The root cause of the problem is that (mostly) conservatives argue that giving aid to people unconditionally is unfair to those who don't need the aid.

First of all, I'm going to put aside the fact that we have a genuinely unequal society in which people are unfairly born into economic conditions beyond their control. That's relevant, but the people who make these arguments have a hard time conceptualizing it so I'm going to put it aside for the moment because, even without it, I think I've got a solid case here.

You see, what's really unfair to the people who don't need the aid is not fixing the problem. You see, those who don't need the aid are the ones who pay the taxes and, by not fixing the problem, you're bilking them out of billions that are instead spent on all of these other, more expensive things we have to do instead.

Now, if you're both amoral and libertarian, you might say that the solution is just to stop doing anything at all, but almost all of us (I'm willing it bet it's 99%+) at least claim to subscribe to a belief system that prevents us from standing idle while another person dies. We CANNOT simply allow another people to die or suffer major harm just because they are poor and pretend to be moral individuals.

Since we cannot morally deny life-saving care and because such care is much more expensive than dealing with the root causes of the issue, I argue that a true analysis of the moral choices is the opposite of what those (mostly) conservatives say. The true moral choice on poverty, the one that's fairest to both those receiving the aid and those from whose taxes the aid is provided, is to use the most effective means to end that poverty.

CONCLUSION

We know what the most effective means of ending poverty are, but some people don't want to use them because they use flawed moral arguments. When understood correctly, using the most effective means of ending poverty is the correct moral decision both for those in poverty as well as for those who pay the taxes for those programs.

If you're interested in reading about one of those extremely effective programs, housing first, this article gives a very good overview of the evidence behind it, the implementation, and some of the opposition it has faced.

[doilyboily]

God knew if he made me not have treatment resistant depression, that I would become an unstoppable force to be reckoned with. Or, a rant.

I'm going through Venlafaxine/Effexor withdrawals and HOLY FUCK this is terrible, I spent months tapering down to 75mg but I couldn't wait any longer to get off this capsule of hell. But now I'm going to try Bupropion AKA Zyban which isn't covered by the PBS for depression, it's only covered for smoking cessation, which makes no fucking sense bc its apparently quite an effective antidepressant, which means that it costs ONE HUNDRED AND EIGHT SIX DOLLARS (186 AUD or 125USD) which means that I'll probably only try this one only until the box runs out bc I do NOT have the money to spend on a medication that, with my luck, wont even fucking work and I'll feel waaay too guilty if my dad pays for it, even though he can afford it and it is his legal obligation... so my options for treating my depression, not including therapy bc that is also too expensive and I'm too self aware for it to work, are:

spend over 1,200 dollars per year and take the Bupropion/Zyban, if it does work.

try MAOIs, which means I'll have to go through MORE withdrawals and most likely have to stop taking my ADHD meds.

try and see if Ketamine therapy is legal where I live for minors and just in general, then try and get a job to pay for it bc holy shit it is expensive.

try even MORE SSRI's even though I've already tried six different ones since I was eight years old and I'm almost seventeen.

try electroconvulsive therapy, which will most likely not be covered by either my insurance OR Medicare and will one hundred percent cost a LOT of money to have done regularly.

and my final option, which is to follow in the footsteps of my paternal half siblings and all my paternal first cousins, which would be succumbing to drug addiction as a way to numb myself and pretend that everything is fine.

Basically, I'll either spend a ton of money which I do not have, and also need to save for top surgery, which may or may not end up actually treating me, or I follow in the footsteps of pretty much everyone on my dads side of the family and repeat the cycle of generational trauma.

So, either way, I am absolutely fucked.

[lavenrain]

Chapter 1 - Down For the Inglorious Count!

I'm mainly using this translation here as it's the one I've used to read it in English. Hopefully soon I can read the Japanese version once my studies align properly! Anyhow, let's begin? Most of this a rundown since I've already skim through it but I needed to reread for full comprehension and wanted to look more into the character progression now that I'm familiar with everything that's happened.

There are 191 chapters, but each review update will be a case-by-case thing to avoid spam. xD I welcome any and all feedback/asks/comments.

Fuck yeah, I haven't seen or read Cat's Eye but based on one of the characters in the series I'm sure it's a treat!

Long sigh. My introduction to Ryo is him betting on boxing and I wasn't too pleased given that I don't understand betting or gambling your money away like that in general. Although that quickly got swept away when him and Makimura started talking about the case; in short, this woman's lover is killed while they're out helping him train for the next match (the guy Ryo's complaining about). It probably stings a lot more for her considering she's a doctor.

Yeah, his usual clients are beautiful women. I would've noped out here but it's the 80's and it's shounen so I knew what I was getting myself into. Also nod to Makimura's sister.

Longer sigh. Anyway, the reasons he goes to a guy like Ryo is because he's a sweeper (hitman basically) and she wants him to kill the guy that killed her guy. I know it's supposed to be dramatic but the way she came to that conclusion startled me a bit; it would be a lot of productive if you... say... let it go and focused on doing your job, but then,

I guess I can understand now.

Great Caesar's Batman. I tried to look up what the conversation rate would've been in the 80's but it's about 1/3 more than 190k which is still a lot of dough. Also. Lady... I have to question whether or not there's other malpractice afoot.

I like a little light heartedness in my crime drama; I'd've given up at the first wind because fuck northern nightly temps (I'm Floridian). But we got our man! Gotta say, I'm a little surprised the next champ didn't just start doing workouts during the day or was advised against doing it alone all things considered. But the guy apparently never suspects his competitors doing such a thing which... hm. This is the 80's and that's probably going to be my catchphrase during the whole review.

The guy eventually threatens his daughter, tells him to drop the competition, he agrees, and his life is spared. Hurray! Wonder why the other guy didn't get the same treatment, unlucky fella. Ryo... doesn't do anything here, which is beyond weird since it would be very easy to simply finish the job and drag the other guy's body far away enough to not be prime suspect (even though the blunt force trauma to the head would probably clear him).

Okay, so he makes her go the boxing match. A little dramatic, and dangerous, and you run the risk of getting caught tenfold, but he makes her go to the boxing match.

I appreciate how most of the methodologies are explained. It's not simply: guy shoots another guy with gun. I had no fuckin' clue bullets like this existed, and he's wielding a shotgun(?) too!

I'm too pissed at the boxer guy to accept the fact that he shot a gun in the middle of a crowd stadium, and no one saw because it was covered with a fucking newspaper. Too pissed.

Don't rip up the fraudulent insurance claim Ryo! How will you get paid now? I mean seriously. You did all that, I'm sure Makimura, the bullet and time stalking cost money so how is a dying doctor as a lover supposed to fund your basic needs?

Overall review

For a first chapter, it's an okay introduction of the character. I know info dumping wouldn't have been helpful so I'm not complaining about that so much that the love declaration at the end is very strange and a bit cheap. However, it's firmly established that Ryo's a... crouching moron hidden badass, so I'll take it.

The art is very good! It's more... paint-y, (please don't crucify me) and makes the theme a lot of intense in parts I wouldn't think twice about!

Next

[amitthareja]

THE RIGHT “BRACES” FOR YOUR CHILD

First, I’m going to tell you WHY children want braces. Then you might think: “Braces aren’t cool! They look unpleasant and weird, Why should my Kid wear them? ”Don’t worry, We at Thareja’s Dental Care have been given your solutions to this concern! Finally, we’ll talk about ways wherein your child can benefit from wearing braces or aligners.

Braces aren’t only for straightening teeth — they are able to help kids in a variety of ways, which include improving their oral health, smile, look, and confidence! To discover how braces benefit children, read this blog.

Braces are a bit high-priced stuff, we agree but they may be essential too. They cost loads of money and a basic amount of time for taking effect, sometimes even greater than their seen value. But In our opinion, it’s all really well worth the price you paid for. Though sometimes braces and aligners can be time consumptive and braces cleaning may be annoying, braces can simply change your kid’s life.

It became a little bittersweet to undergo the treatment process, however, a lot of years later I can say with experience that kids’ braces are 100 percent really well worth it.

Braces are not a signal of childhood that most kids grow up with. But in fact, orthodontic care can help kids grow better in terms of future dental health or even their self-esteem. Here are common misconceptions about the want for braces and why kids should be sporting them.

1) Braces and aligners are an awesome way to help your children’s teeth “straighten up” and assist them to attain their full “smile potential.”

2)Your kid’s teeth are crooked, and you want to do something about it. Before you run out and make an appointment for your infant to get braces, let’s check a number of the reasons children want orthodontic treatment which include the inability to chew or talk properly.

3)While the thought of someone putting brackets in your tooth and fiddling with wires running in and out of your mouth is probably going to be less than inspiring, braces are actually a great thing for kids. In fact, research has shown that they will be capable of helping massively by leading to several positive physical and mental improvements.

4) Braces aren’t only for adults anymore—kids need orthodontic treatment too! Did you understand that according to a 2019 survey by The Indian Association of Orthodontists, 47% of children have been treated with some form of orthodontic treatment? That’s roughly 1 in every 2! There are numerous reasons why your child might want the help of braces or any other orthodontic appliance, such as crowding, misalignment, teeth gaps or spacing, oversized teeth, and chewing issues. Braces are not only good for adults. Kids advantage greatly from orthodontic braces and aligners! Braces aren’t a sign of bad hygiene, they’re a sign you care!

[riftstudiosnyc]

Tips for Setting Up a Recording Studio

There are just such an enormous number of things that should be considered. The room, the beneficiary decisions and plans, soundproofing and acoustic treatment, studio screen decisions and position... it's a broad summary. I've focused on everything generally. I really don't accept I'm especially learned about the field. I manage It-Yourself game plans and cost useful stuff choices that make audiophiles snicker. Anyway, I'm okay with that, since I've never chosen to satisfy them. My establishments are in punk music. So for my motivations, getting the show really has as a ton to do with the idea of the music as it does the creation. So I by and large mean to find a lovely place ground. Additionally, I think I've really had the choice to do this in my recording studio.

I bring had the choice to the table for a critical help to local entertainers who just don't have the resources for keep in the master recording studio. I never had the money all the while. How might you think I showed up? Preferably I have a sufficient number of cool tips and misleads available to me to help the amateur with entering the universe of sound recording. The association needn't bother with to be terrible. It won't at any point be straightforward, but it will in general be less disagreeable.

Begin with the room. If it doesn't sound perfect, then stop. Time to take action. Place bass catches in the corners to help with cleaning up the low-end thunder. Place broadband protections at basic reflection concentrates generally through the room. There are a ton of DIY deals with serious consequences regarding both of these. I integrated my own bass catches by loading fiberglass into a self-developed frame with wire. I then, at that point, covered them with non-savvy material. For the reflection centers, I essentially grabbed some adoration seat cushions off the roadside and used them. Anyway, I made sure to shower them down with sanitizer sprinkle. Both of these courses of action will help immensely. Collectors will get what you feed them, so it's probably truly shrewd to give them something pleasurable to process.

Extraordinary studio gear doesn't have to go with a problematic retail cost. We ought to explore intensifiers. A humble pack of rift studios could help you through an entire gathering at whatever point used the right way. Furthermore, there are similarly different various brands that give quality strong mouthpieces at a spending plan cost. Do some assessment. Check out at some enhancer shootouts on the web. Condenser speakers may be expected to get the natural sound of the room. A matched arrangements of condenser mics is by and large the choice as overheads for a drum set. To the degree that particular situation goes, there are rules that can be noticed, yet there are no specific headings. Essentially pay special attention to arrange issues. Additionally, trust your ears. Accepting it sounds perfect, go with it.

Careful screens are exceptionally basic in the recording studio. They are indispensable for getting the sound definitively. An overall level repeat response is needed. No bass or high frequencies should be over the top. Nevertheless, for the screens to work unequivocally, the room ought to be precise. That is where the meaning of acoustic treatment turns out to be conceivably the main component. Get a nice condenser assessment mouthpiece and make assessments of the room. I use the REW Room EQ programming for this. It's incredibly simple to use and can be set up rather quickly. With barely enough perseverance, I had the choice to get my room inside 3db across the entire repeat response. Additionally, I have had no awful comments about the sound being gotten in my recording studio.

So these are two or three methods for setting up a recording studio. As of now it is the perfect opportunity to follow the accompanying hit record.

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