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traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors · 1 year ago

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TW - COCSA, SA, mention of parental figures with life threatening conditions and mental issues, mention of attempted kidnapping (1/3) Mostly a vent, but also looking for advice. Sorry this is long, but I'd honestly just feel better having someone read this. Tall order, I know, sorry in advanced. My case was textbook COCSA between young peers. We were six, and he would pressure me into oral on several occasions. I said no several times on several occasions but he would use guilt tripping, emotional manipulation. Threatened not to be my friend, threatened to tell on me and get me in trouble, which sounds like nothing but to me was everything. Told me its just what "girls and boys do" or would just keep asking until I did what he said. He would have his friend watch then tease me when I did it and would make me cry on at least one occasion, and he laughed. He got me to bite it and the feeling was horrible and I still feel it in my mouth. I remember being disgusted then, and still feel that same disgust now. Embarrassed too. This continued until I was 7 at varying frequencies. I understand his threats seem like nothing to an adult, but to a child they felt very real, like my world was ending. The threats of abandonment terrified me cos I only had one other friend, had ADHD thus rejection sensitivity, and I had experienced trauma surrounding fear of losing my loved ones already, my father having a life threatening condition at the time and my mother with mental issues where she would threaten suicide and leave the house after saying so for hours at a time amongst other scary things. He didn't know the latter two stuff but did know I was bullied a lot, he manipulated me, and coerced me. I never wanted to do that stuff. Not to mention, the behaviour was extremely developmentally abnormal as penetrative acts between children that age is not considered normal even if its just oral. I'd argue there was a power difference too since I was developmentally behind my peers in terms of cognation and social skills, and he had more knowledge on this stuff than me. He learnt it from porn, but I suspect an adult may have abused him too since he used very "adult groomer like" language when trying to convince me. I don't even blame him, he was more like a bully than an abuser. But I do blame the adults who hurt him and thus me indirectly, and the adults who knew what he was doing to me but did nothing.

Here's my conundrum though. I've looked at the Brooks traffic light tool. I'm in the red. I looked at the continuum of sexually harmful behaviours from Hackett (2010 model I believe), what I experienced is firmly in the "abusive" section. I used the Sensoa Flag System and aside from the ages being off with both children being 10 instead of both 6-7, there was a scenario described in the textbook that was EXACTLY my situation that was in the red, abusive behaviours section. And an added note that if the coercion occured on more than one occasion, it was actually BLACK FLAG behaviour. By all professional measures of this type of abuse, it's abuse. The therapists, psychologists, police, etc, that I've spoken to all told me its a form of sexual abuse/CSA. Yet I always feel that my abuse does not count or isn't as serious as the abuses of others. I feel guilt seeking help from rape charities or specialist counselling services specifically for CSA survivors even when the councillors from those services tell me I have a right to be there. I feel guilt calling myself a "CSA survivor". I feel the need to specify I experienced "COCSA" when I talk about it, but then I need to explain what COCSA is to those who don't know... and then usually I feel the need to explain the intricacies of COCSA and the specifics of my situation to validate to them that what happened to me, for all intents and purposes, was sexual abuse. And its exhausting when I am just trying to go into a space to vent with other SA survivors, that this was the worst thing I've experienced and needing to justify that. I have experienced SA as an adult but that barely effects me these days in comparison to the fucking carnage the COCSA caused me. Not to mention the other traumatic experiences I've had in childhood and adulthood, including emotional abuse and even attempted kidnapping. COCSA remains the worst thing I experienced in terms of its impact. I think of it daily. It's so hard to not be seen as "weak" or judged or seen as an attention seeker without having to explain the decades of studies I've read through just to justify my emotions to MYSELF. I use the tools the professionals use to justify to myself my emotions are valid. I just want to figure out how to stop thinking like this. It's frustrating. I just want to stop thinking about this topic as a whole preferably, but I'd at least like my brain to stop compelling me to read decades worth of scientific writings on the matter of COCSA and peer on peer sexual abuse so I don't waste hours of my day on a near daily basis. I also have an issue with the fact that the COCSA caused my reactions to the other forms of sexual violence like simple sexual harassment to really fuck me up. Stuff that others would probably barely count as harrassment. I cannot walk home alone at night at all. I have to call someone if I need to. That's partly due to the attempted kidnapping to be fair, and being followed home once as an adult, but also the harassment I've faced over the years of both childhood and adulthood. It feels constant to have some crusty dusty old guy perving on you. Not to mention that as an adult I realise lots of the "innocent" interactions I had around older men as a child were not as innocent and rather older men asking me for disgusting things like me dancing for them and shaking my butt in my swimsuit for them. And having even another child hurt you in that way? Idk. It makes me feel that no one is safe to be around. And worse, no child is safe from others. Not even other children. I am terrified of that concept. It makes me not want to have children because I am so terrified I might fail them in some way or they be hurt by someone else who they were supposed to be safe around.

Hi anon,

I'm so sorry about what you've been through and please know that not only are you not alone in experiencing COCSA and polyvictimization, but you're also not the only survivor to feel like what happened isn't serious or valid enough to get help or resources for your experiences, or to even label yourself as a survivor. This can be especially difficult if you've been gaslit or victim-blamed over what you went through.

Regarding how your COCSA still overshadows your SA in adulthood, it's important to recognize that your COCSA was at a formative age, which could partly explain why it's had a much more significant impact on your being. That being said, sometimes it's simply a mystery why our brains find one experience more traumatic than the other, even if it seems it should be the other way around. But it's important to honor your trauma as it is, and consider that trauma isn't defined by what happened, but rather by how we psychologically respond or process those events.

It's really hard to struggle with validating your own trauma. Something that has helped me personally was to imagine it vicariously. Like, imagine that someone else went through the exact same thing as you did. Would you tell them that they can't call themselves a survivor, or that what happened to them wasn't traumatic, abusive, or severe? Would you call them weak or an attention seeker? If you answer no, now consider that this person is you. It may not completely resolve things, but it may put it somewhat at ease.

I think that your experiences contextualize your general unease, fear, and distrust. But it can also be isolating and exhausting to navigate your life in a way that is dictated by these things. As a survivor you deserve to shine beyond your trauma-informed fears and live a life that is meaningful to you. If you can access or afford it, a mental health professional could help you process all of your traumas, including your feelings surrounding them, and work with you to reframe your thoughts and equip you with some healthy coping mechanisms that you can take with you along your healing journey.

I hope I could help and please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

#mod bun #trauma talks #tw abuse #tw child abuse #tw sa #tw csa #tw cocsa #tw emotional abuse

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douchebagbrainwaves · 2 days ago

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OK, I'LL TELL YOU YOU ABOUT JOB

You wouldn't need a rule to keep you going in one direction if there weren't powerful forces pushing people toward a single model of how to look and act varied little between companies. It was like someone getting fouled in a soccer game and saying, hey, you fouled me, that's against the rules, and walking off the field in indignation. At first we tried to act professional about this, it is possible to raise too much money. But I think the only unusual thing about him is that he admitted it. If you're in grad school, but it didn't go anywhere. It's not just because she's shy that she hates bragging. So you'll break even if you get $50k from a well known VC firm or angel investor, that will almost never happen. If we improve your outcome by 10%, you're net ahead. I could start a company by just writing code. There doesn't seem any particular urgency to be profitable. The reason this got stale in middle school and high school kids is that adults realize they need to. The empirical evidence shows just how unimportant it is.

If you have to do to get started with a few countertweaks. The bar will be higher next time. You have to work hard in two dimensions. The fear of missing out on startups that take off. But try to get market price for labor. Many investors will ask how much you can raise more elsewhere. We funded it because we liked the founders.

They unconsciously judge larval startups by the standards of a company. If they made as little now as they did then, in real dollar terms, they'd seem like small fry compared to professional athletes and whiz kids making millions from startups and hedge funds. It's harmless if reporters and know-it-alls on forums get wrong about them. Or rather, back to stay. The most powerful sort of aptitude is a consuming interest in some question, and such interests are often acquired tastes. Don't sell more than 25% in phase 2, yes. So you can just decide to raise money even when it seemed hopeless, and miraculously succeeded.

In 1917, doing everything himself seemed to Ford the only way to communicate with the server was to ask for a new page. But Jessica knew her example as a successful female founder would encourage more women to start companies, so last year she did something YC had never done before and hired a PR firm to get her some interviews. Though the idea of fixing payments was right there in plain sight, they never saw it, because their competitors would have to as well. In Airbnb's case, these consisted of going door to door in New York, recruiting new users and helping existing ones improve their listings. Some of the worse ones never actually do say no; they just stop replying to your emails. Kids are curious, but the boring stuff you do in school under the name passion. To talk about what? In that form it only had a potential market of a few thousand hobbyists as they were then called, but in retrospect that too was the optimal path to dominating a big market. When one investor wants to give you money for a certain percentage of your startup. If you're so fortunate as to have to think about it, that you are looking for investors you want to raise a specific amount, but so they can show you only things that cost the most you'll pay. Instead treat school as a day job as a waiter doesn't think of himself as a waiter doesn't think of himself as a waiter doesn't think of himself as a waiter. It's not just because she's shy that she hates bragging.

And while most investors are pretty good at reading people. Jessica and ask What does the Social Radar. Which means you should avoid doing things in earlier rounds that will mess up raising an A round. In this case, n is. I'm going to tell you what to do. The reason this got stale in middle school and high school, I now realize, is that they can take the very same kid and make him seem a more appealing candidate than he would if he went to the local public school. What difference did it make if other manufacturers could offer DOS too? Environment I think there are two components to the antidote: being in a place where startups are the cool thing to do.

If you can arrange that we keep hearing from you, you won't die. As we later learned, it probably cost us little to reject people whose characters we had doubts about, because how good founders are and how well they do are not orthogonal. And the proof is profitability. Others skip phase 1 and go straight to phase 2. Often the two occur simultaneously. In practice it's not that high a cost. This is also true of starting a startup just doesn't seem real. No one wants you if you seem desperate. Y Combinator at premoney valuations of $4 million and $2. So why do founders think launches matter? It's harmless if reporters and know-it-alls dismiss your startup. Stock is not the time taken up by the actual meetings but that it becomes the top idea in your mind.

When you first start fundraising, everything else grinds to a halt. But though it was evidence that there was, somewhere, a world that wasn't red delicious, I didn't notice when the shadow disappeared. It's a sign they're not really interested. The problem is not the way it's portrayed on TV. If one show did try something daring, local affiliates in conservative markets would make them stop. The success rate would be 90%. Plus public TV for eggheads and communists.

Thanks to Trevor Blackwell, Jessica Livingston, and Guido van Rossum for sharing their expertise on this topic.

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forasecondtherewedwon · 3 years ago

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Midge telling Susie about her and Lenny!

Thanks, Anon!! I’ve had a couple requests for this, so here we go!

It Was Nearby

Fandom: The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel Rating: T Word Count: 2185

Summary: One phone line Susie’s got. One. And Midge is telling her a story she coulda guessed the ending of from a single word.

Or, Susie finds out about Midge and Lenny.

“‘How come you never came back to the hospital?’” Susie recites. Again. She knew Midge would ask to hear the message more than once, so, even though it’s a simple one, she wrote it on a notepad next to her phone, all professional-like. The way she’s seen Dinah do.

“That’s what they said?”

“Yes.”

“Did they say it in that tone?” Midge asks, an impatient pushiness in hers.

“What tone?”

“Like they were accusing me of something.”

Susie sighs. She can’t be tying up the single line like this. Thankfully, Dinah’s already wrangled her small, noisy relations out of here and taken them out for lunch. She doesn’t need to know Susie stayed on one call for more than ten seconds. It’s been almost ten minutes now.

“I don’t think your father—” Susie begins.

“It was my father who called?!”

“Yes! Did I not say that at the beginning?”

“You might’ve. When I call you, I’m paying attention from the start—I have to be, or Dinah hangs up on me. When you call me, sometimes it takes me a while to start listening.”

Susie makes an insulted noise into the receiver.

“Nice to know you respect me,” she says sarcastically.

“I do. Susie, I’m sorry, I do. Please, tell me what my father said to you.”

“‘How come you never came back to the hospital?’” Susie repeats, highly annoyed. “And then he yammered on about some other stuff, but I didn’t think you’d be interested in that.”

“Why not?”

“Because it wasn’t about you.”

“Touché.” Susie hears Midge sigh before continuing, “Papa gets a little wound up.”

“Yes, that was coming across.”

“If it had been my mother who’d called, I’d know something was actually wrong.”

“Oh, she called too. Apparently, you had the car keys?”

“Shit.”

“But they got a ride home from…” Susie quickly rustles through the papers on her desk and finds the other page she tore off the notepad. “…Archie and someone named either Imogene or Dody. Your mom was sayin’ one name and your dad kept shouting over her with the other one.”

“It’s Imogene.”

“Don’t care.”

“Of course not.”

“So, why didn’t you go back to the hospital?” Susie wonders.

“I’ll make something up,” Midge says.

“This is me askin’. You got to the Wolf, right? You did the set? You said you’d figure something out. I assumed that meant you were gonna do the set.”

Susie hunches forward over her desk, suddenly tense. She can’t control what Midge does (boy, wouldn’t that make her life easier) and she sure as fuck can’t change the past, but she still experiences a boatload of anxiety when her girl does this to her. Midge’s unpredictability is more stressful than Susie’s buddy-buddy relationship with a couple of mobsters. They should probably both fuckin’ reflect on that one.

“I did the set,” Midge says.

Susie waits for more information—or, anyway, more talking. Always the talking with this one. Whether or not there’s anything useful in it varies. Midge doesn’t say anything else. Did she hang up?

“Hello?”

“I’m still here.”

Ok, good confirmation. Susie smacks the phone on the desk anyway.

“Ow, Susie,” she can hear Midge complaining as she brings the phone back to her ear.

“What’s with you?” Susie demands. “Did it go bad? You’re not still worryin’ about your ex-fuckin’-whatever he is, are ya?”

“Ex-father-in-law,” Midge supplies. “Of course I’m still worried about him, but no, my set did not go badly. It might’ve actually gone great. Can’t remember. It was all sort of a blur.”

“Good crowd? Lotta laughs? Boise seemed to be sayin’ there was a big crowd. Sounded pretty excited. I think I liked him better when he was an asshole.”

“Yeah, it was a… really good crowd.”

“Great. So, you’re—and by ‘you’re’ I mean ‘we’re’—still happy at the Wolf? Definitely not a toilet gig like His Fuckin’ Majesty King James said,” Susie reassures herself defensively.

“It wasn’t…”

Susie freezes.

“Past tense,” she observes, foot bouncing on the floor. “Past tense makes me very nervous, Miriam. Tell me you misspoke.”

“I did not misspeak.”

“Fuck! Why are we talking in past tense about the Wolf?”

“There was a raid. Right after my set.”

“Cops?”

“No, ants. The girls thought they’d try something different last night, so instead of taking their clothes off, they spread out a big, checkered blanket on the stage and we all sat down and had a picnic. It was as pretty as a Good Housekeeping spread until we got to the watermelon, and then…. Yes, Susie, cops!”

“Fuck!” Susie reiterates. For emphasis. Why the fuck not. “And why’d you say all that shit about a picnic? Now I’m hungry and stressed.”

“I’ll find another place to perform.”

“Were you in jail last night then? Is that it? Did you get arrested?” Susie probes, ignoring Midge’s calm optimism. Where the fuck was this version of her when they were in that cab after Shy Baldwin left them high and dry? Losing the Wolf might not be worthy of hurling a skirt out of a moving car, but Susie is expecting Midge to share in at least some of her distress. How can she be so goddamn cool and collected?

“I did not get arrested,” Midge promises.

Susie exhales massively in relief. She balls up a fist and rests her forehead against it, momentarily closing her eyes. She’s savouring the good news; it still doesn’t sound as though she’s heard the full story of Midge’s night yet.

“Thank fuck,” she says. “You don’t got a lot of sense, but at least you had the sense to get outta there quickly.”

“Well…”

“Oh, what?!” Susie cries out, almost a sob. “For the love of god, what?”

“I went back into the dressing room to get my coat.”

“Your coat. Sure, your coat! You wanna be warm in jail!”

“And the girls were running everywhere. The room was a mess. I was keeping in mind that I’d need to make sure that whatever coat I did find was actually mine, and not just one that looks like mine, because the newest act at the Wolf is me.”

“New? You’re not new. You’ve been wasting your time rebuilding that place for weeks! You’re practically the fuckin’ foreman!”

“No, not me me,” Midge clarifies, as if that’s helpful. (Susie’s face is scrunched up in confusion.) “I’m a stripper. The stripper strips as me. Well, she dresses up in a terrible approximation of what I wear—”

“It’s not that terrible, is it? You sound pissed off about it.”

“Yeah, it’s not bad. Anyway, I wanted to find my coat and not a coat that was going to tear off my body the second I got outside because—”

“The snowstorm,” Susie supplies. This she knows about. Midge can’t see it, but she makes a rolling motion with her hand, urging this winding story along. Unbelievable that this woman’s father is now a journalist with limited space to fill. Susie feels like she oughta be getting paid ten bucks every time Midge gets sidetracked from the point of the story.

“So I’m digging and digging, and everyone’s running—”

“Except for you, sounds like.”

“—but then Lenny came back for me, so. No jail. Set went great. We should get lunch tomorrow.”

“Hang on,” Susie says. There’s just one little detail there Midge fuckin’ steamrolled over.

“What?”

Ah, the innocent act. Can’t make that one work when you’ve told as many dick jokes as Midge has.

“Lenny.”

Susie brings it all down to one word. It’s not really her choice, not her fault—Midge is the one who made his name stand out in that sentence. In that whole zigzagging narration of her evening. She’s a perky little smartass with her picnic bit and then she gets to Lenny Bruce. Even as she spoke faster, Susie heard the softness in her voice.

“You know Lenny,” Midge says, like Susie said his name because it’s unfamiliar.

“Lenny was at the Wolf.”

“Yes.”

“Lenny Bruce, who’s about to do a run at Carnegie fuckin’ Hall just happened to be at that shithole?”

“Former shithole. And no.”

“Miriam, I swear to god,” Susie says tightly. She thrusts her hand out in an impatient gesture that nobody can see, unless Alfie’s got a new trick where he can see through walls. “You just said he was there. Twice.”

“He was there. I’m disagreeing with the implication that it was by accident.”

“Just spit it the fuck out!”

“He showed up to see me,” Midge says. At last, something straightforward for Susie to wrap her head around. “He wanted to apologize for… never mind what. He was there. We spoke for a minute or two after I came offstage, and then the place got raided. Lenny got me out. My coat was not so lucky.”

“Alright. Lenny Bruce rescued you from a police raid and your own stupidity, at which point you’d think you might’ve headed for home, but you didn’t.”

“It was snowing.”

“I remember.”

“I didn’t have my coat.”

“I remember that too.”

The sound of Midge not talking makes Susie just as nervous as it did a minute ago.

Finally, Midge says, “His hotel was nearby.”

Susie wants to slam her head against her desk this time, not the phone. Lenny Bruce saved Midge from some cops and a blizzard and his hotel was nearby. In someone else’s world, in someone else’s life, it’s possible that a blizzard would be enough to temper the euphoria of evading arrest, but not in this one. Not in Susie’s.

What’s this gonna do to Midge? What’s it gonna do to both of them? Will they suddenly be turning down every gig that’s not Carnegie Hall? Will Midge decide that opening acts are ok, but only if she’s opening for Lenny Bruce? Are they gonna be following this guy from show to show now, shadowing his career? In some ways, Midge might learn a few things from that, but largely, it feels like a disaster waiting to happen.

With Lenny to guide her, will Midge ever listen to any of Susie’s advice ever again?

“Now you’re quiet,” Midge notes.

“Just thinking through a hundred horrible outcomes,” Susie says, staring blankly at the wall.

“Consider the outcome where I’m happy.”

“Right now you’re happy. So, Lenny’s good in the sack. Good for you. I’m tryin’ to think about your future. I do not need you getting derailed.”

“Derailed?” She sounds offended. Good. When she’s offended, she pays attention. “Susie, I won’t.”

“You’re not gonna be thinking too much about him and not enough about you?”

“Of course not. We have a plan. A manifesto.”

“When this hits the papers, what does that do to the plan?” Susie wants to know. She continues before Midge can cut in. “Because you don’t know that it won’t! Big crowd at the Wolf last night, right? How do you know there wasn’t a journalist in it? L. Roy Dunham or somebody of that ilk? Maybe they saw you talkin’ to Lenny. Maybe they followed the two of you. Maybe somebody who works at the hotel is gonna cash-in on a tipoff.”

“Nobody saw—”

“Do. You. Know. That,” Susie demands slowly. “Need I remind you that Lenny Bruce has never been more visible? Carnegie Hall, Miriam! That’s who you were with!”

“I know that!”

“His hotel. Ya had to go to his hotel. It was nearby.”

“He won’t do anything to jeopardize me, Susie,” Midge says.

“I’m worried about you jeopardizing you!” Susie stresses, stabbing her desk with her finger.

“You know, I doubt Lenny’s having this conversation with his manager right now.”

“You’re damn right he’s not, because he’s Lenny Bruce and because he’s a male comic. Nobody is ever gonna think he achieved something because of who he slept with.”

“I know that.” These three words are quieter this time, like they actually mean something and aren’t just Midge yelling back after Susie yelled first.

“You’re gonna do big things,” Susie sighs. “Such big fuckin’ things.”

“I will. I promise.”

“I can’t take it if they think you only got to where you’re gonna get to because you screwed Lenny Bruce. Why now, Midge?”

“Neither of us planned it. I was upset about Moishe, seeing Joel and Mei together at the hospital. Everybody paired up and me alone.” Susie clutches the receiver to her ear as Midge rambles on. “It was the snow, the raid, the way he… looked at me, Susie.”

“Uh huh. Well. At least you didn’t get arrested.” She clears her throat. “Lunch. Tomorrow. I have no idea what time I’m free, so I’ll have Dinah call you and set somethin’ up.”

Susie hangs up the phone. She places both hands flat on her desk and breathes out. Whether it’s good or bad, this is gonna change things. Midge can blame the fuckin’ weather all she wants—that is not what made her sleep with Lenny.

God, she’s already such a handful. Now Susie’s gotta deal with Midge in love.

#my writing #The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel #tmmm #tmmm spoilers #Midge Maisel #Susie Myerson #Midge x Lenny

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razorblade180 · 4 years ago

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RWBY Vol8 Finale Review

Okay so I just wanna say right away that this review would’ve been out sooner, but the ending credit song is watch pushed me over the edge and made me cry. So I’m little drained.

Of course the episode starts off with Salem finally coming back. Honestly I’m shocked. She’s only been gone for a little over an hour I believe. That’s way faster than I thought considering the blast she was hit with.

90% of this episode is fighting which I’m perfectly happy with, so breaking down scenes is a little scarce and far apart. But I will say I like a bunch of the fighting. I thought James’s gun was stupid, but then he swung while detaching one pistol to pistol whip Winter and I’ll admit it, I said “yoooo!”

Okay...the Ace Ops stuff is probably the biggest thing I’m “meh” on. I totally get what they’re going for and I’m actually one of the few people who likes Harriet, but this scene fell pretty flat for me. We barely see the Ace Ops interact with one another that isn’t them threatening RWBY or talking about following orders. Like I never had any doubts that they do in fact care about each other beyond a coworker level but the show didn’t really show that. It would’ve been nice if despite them saying they aren’t friends several times, CRWBY added gentler moments with one another.

Like if Harriet calms Elm down on the way to to whale, Vine senses Marrow’s uneasiness and pulls him aside to tell him that he’ll watch Marrow’s back and they’ll talk when the job is done. It could’ve been neat if Harriet was about to move and scream Marrow’s name right before Ironwood shoots, but Winter was a step ahead. Just little things like that to show these characters really do value one another and don’t actually buy the crap their selling about being completely professional. Plenty of real life military soldiers will tell you that like it or not, it is impossible not to learn the life of their teammates and essentially become family when they’re overseas. Even if they don’t necessarily like a certain individual.

I actually didn’t expect Cinder to betray Neo this episode until Neo fell off the ledge. I thought we were building to Cinder valuing having people as teammates to raise hell instead of looking at them as pawns. To an extent she still does, but I guess it’s more of she has to work well with people and use actual teamwork in general, not with specific individuals. Power of teamwork yes. Power of friendship, no....

Cinder gets bonus points in my book for doing what most don’t, cut Blake’s ribbon! I’m so used to anime tropes letting heroes recover that I wasn’t expecting a genuine good play.

So I’ve said she was going to die ever since she came back, then I said it when she hacked, and one more time she was human. I never had faith she’d make it through the volume. So when I tell that it still broke my heart to see this. I never wanted her go. Penny is like my second favorite character. I’m a bit surprised Cinder didn’t get the power. This is the second time she’s nabbed Penny. I would assume she has at least a bit of the power though.

Winter really did become the Winter maiden. We were right from the start. I do like that Penny choosing how she wanted to die and who to give the powers to mirrors Winter’s conversation with Weiss in V7 a bit about being roped into something but still gaining the control to actually choose how go about the situation by deciding the terms.

Skipping ahead a bit because once again, I was just floored by the fights. Next real thing that really hit me hard was so many people think other people are dead for varying reasons, and only some of them are true. I do not know how Ren and Nora especially are going to cope with hearing Jaune fell. That’s their second teammate. Out of those two, Oscar, and Emerald, I don’t think any want to or fit to lead as a new team of four. Maybe Nora really will step up and kick off the active part of her self discovery. Then there’s Winter. Maybe she’ll keep them together. If anything I hope her and Whitley finally have this genuine moment because they think they lost their sister. And who knows, maybe to a certain level Jacques dying as well conflicts them in a way because they didn’t love him but it’s still a shock he’s dead. Like I’m pretty sure for Whitley at least that the hate for his father didn’t run deep enough to wish him dead. Pietro is gonna die of broken heart and I don’t know how Qrow or Tai will react. Hopefully Raven gets involved.

Not gonna lie, I thought the crash was anticlimactic and Ironwood among others could still be alive, but then the rushing water came....

I am shocked nobody actually killed James. Pretty sure he’s dead though. Just like how Arthur burned to death which is by far the most unsettling thing this show has done period. Even though the villains lost members, it doesn’t really feel like they lost at all. Especially when the ones who died were killed by their own people basically.

All in all I really liked this finale. I’m relieved the reason team RWBY fell wasn’t because they jumped after Yang because that’s not risk people should take and would be a middle finger to everyone they leave behind. Wasn’t expecting Jaune to fall. That’s nuts. Not mad about it. Now he has to explain to Ruby that he personally stabbed Penny on request. Like good lord, he’s not going to cope. The only saving grace I personally have is CRWBY might be nice to me and the path towards comforting certain characters may lead down a path with Lancaster or Whiteknight at the end of it. I’m not gonna hold my breath. Can’t believe we lost Nuts n Dolts twice...

Also Neo might wanna kill Cinder more than Ruby now.

#rwby #rwby spoilers #jaune arc #ruby rose #weiss schnee #yang xiao long #blake belladonna #rwby volume 8 #penny polendina #cinder fall #winter schnee #neo politan

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teamsarawatshusband · 4 years ago

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Do you think there is a chance that WYB really believes in China's innocence in this? If people in China don't have all the information, then maybe he also doesn't know what is happening.

Okay, I’m gonna be very careful in how to answer this.

First of all, I don’t know him in person (obviously), so I can never know 100% what he does and doesn’t believe. Much like with any other celebrity.

My assumption on what he believes in this is based on what I know about his life and how that might potentially affect his thinking in matters like these. It is also based on what I know from my personal connections to Chinese citizens and what they have told me about politics and human rights affairs in the past.

Since Yibo is living in China, there is a big chance that he doesn’t have access to all the news regarding this specific political situation. So I do assume that he most likely doesn’t know the details of what’s going on in regards to the human rights violations and why exactly Nike spoke out against the government of his country.

However, he is very familiar with the business side of working with brands and he has had political situations affect career decisions in the past. So I can’t help but think that he knows things are fishy.

He must know that brands, especially big corporations like Nike, don’t make business-damaging statements against a whole country like this without global pressure. Let’s not forget, Nike like any other company, first and foremost has to think of their marketability and consumer’s trust. So, Yibo must know that consumers (not governments or political institutions but regular people) all over the world are watching the news and demanding that companies such as Nike take a stand. So, I’m assuming he knows that, in the eyes of the global population, based on their sources of information, the Chinese government is doing something bad.

Whether or not he believes this information to be true is a different question.

Now, if Yibo had lived his entire life in China, had grown up with the censorship and propaganda of the Chinese government throughout his life and not aware that this is different in other parts of the world, then I would assume he’d believe it to be false.

However, he has lived in South Korea for several years. So he did have access to a non-Chinese point of view on politics and life in general. He also has traveled to other countries professionally, both as a singer as well as an actor. He must know that independent sources of information are much easier accessible in other countries. He must know that the amount of freedom to publicly criticize a government or state personal opinions varies largely from country to country. I am convinced he is aware that censorship and deliberate spreading of misinformation is a common political practice in China. So, based on that, I do assume that he takes information from Chinese news with a critical mindset that doesn’t simply trust and buy into everything that is served to him.

He also has witnessed political situations affect his or other co-stars’ careers. He used to be in Uniq which, as all k-pop bands, suddenly wasn’t allowed to appear on Chinese TV anymore, even though they hadn’t done anything wrong. And a big change of course of action like that was kept all hush-hush in the entire Chinese media. He must know that this wasn’t fair, that they innocently fell victim to political agendas. An entire career, fanbase, performance platform simply taken away from all of them, one second to the next, and they hadn’t caused it and didn’t have any say in it either. Are we really assuming that they simply took that blow without wanting to speak out and fight for the success they had worked so hard for?

The 227 situation was very similar. The international success of one Chinese series brought so much traffic to AO3, that the Chinese government noticed it as public platform depicting values that they didn’t want China to be associated with. More importantly, a public platform with content that they couldn’t control. So they went and blocked it. And who had to suffer the blame? The government? Of course not. Xiao Zhan, who hadn’t done anything other that be an actor in the series. Because of this he lost so many marketing deals and job offers that people believed his career was over for good. All while doing nothing wrong.

Yibo, as the second main actor in the same series, 100% saw all of this go down. He knows that Xiao Zhan hadn’t caused any of it, knows that he was blamed unfairly. He also knows that remaining silent under those circumstances will only cause more harm to a career and public reputation. He knows that the only option is to say what you are expected to say, regardless of what you think.

And, I mean, based on all the situations that I have been in in my life, where I was forced to say something against my will, and based on knowing Yibo to be quite headstrong and having a competitive mindset... I just can’t picture him going, “Well, they make me say this. So, I believe it too.”

Now, based on what I have heard from people that I personally know IRL, I think some of the things that my aunt and uncle have mentioned left the biggest impression on me. My uncle is European but has lived and worked in China for decades now. My aunt is Chinese, grew up in China and only after meeting and marrying my uncle has traveled out of the country.

My uncle is very outspoken about life in China. When talking to him in person, he will tell you everything he personally experienced, including things like tax evasion, people avoiding police charges with hush money, countrywide blocking of messaging services and email providers, copyright frauds as legitimate business endeavors, illegal confiscation of items by police/border control etc. etc. etc. Basically, the gist of his reports is, “In China, if you are a regular person, you have to be aware of this, work around the corruption/unfairness and, most importantly, not make a big fuss about it. If you are somebody with money and powerful connections, you can buy yourself out of any situation. Unless if you stand in the public eye, then you’ll be used to make an example of - under the guise of a just and law-abiding country.“ He will tell you all of this, while over here. Never when in China. Because he knows the consequences.

My aunt is a lot quieter on the matter. She never directly spoke out against Chinese politics and never directly called out the issues of censorship and corruption. But she often asked, “Are we really allowed to say this here? Back home we can’t.” And when I talked to her about specific political situations she confirmed a lot of things with small examples from her experience. While my uncle is mostly angry when speaking about those things, my aunt is primarily careful in her phrasing. She very clearly loves her country dearly (who wouldn’t it’s a beautiful country with wonderful people), and she is very pained by how it is governed, and how that governing affects both the people living there as well as how China is perceived in the world.

I have never spoken to them about celebrities or specific entertainment issues, but what I do know from them is, if somebody in China is a public figure with success and a bit of wealth, they will:

- most certainly be aware that their government’s actions are often unjust and based on corruption and personal gain

- be forced to side with said government or, if they refuse, forced to retire for good

- have to do propaganda related work. Either, if they (or somebody close to them) did/said some non-government-compliant things, for people in power positions to overlook those, or in return for specific freedoms they wouldn’t get to enjoy otherwise.

Especially the forcing of propaganda jobs on public figures, I can’t help not relating that to Yibo.

Just compare some of his songs... “無感 Wu Gan”, for example, with his recent “青春恰时来 - Youth Comes in Time”.

Wu Gan is musically progressive, sounds fresh and goes with the genres and types of music Yibo has shown to love before. And he officially wrote it himself. Youth Come in Time, which he released but was neither composed nor lyrically written by him, sounds like a polar opposite. Musically, it sounds like what you would hear in a 90s advertisement.

And looking at the lyrics, I mean... that song has lines like “strengthen the country”, “we stand in the front row”, “I am with my country”, “the Chinese stage is taking off” - how is that not propaganda?

Do we really, genuinely think that somebody believes in this, even though in the songs that he wrote himself, and has stated to be about his own personal experiences, he says stuff like, “don’t become a puppet whose feelings are manipulated by others”, “every day there’s someone going on and off stage - just remain emotionless”, “You’re famous but you have no works and the voices scolding you only get worse”, “I’ve trapped myself and I can’t make my goals distinct”?

Do we?

Really?

I’ll leave that up to you.

#anon ask #yizhan #i'm not sure if i should tag that with his name

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ddarker-dreams · 4 years ago

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That last ask got me thinking! How would the bucci gang react to meeting SR reader's family? Not all of them but like a visiting grandparent(who is likely very unaware their precious grandchild is working with the mob to pay off awful debts-which reader would like to keep that way), but like who's falling all over themselves to impress said relative, who would be subtly trying to get their blessing to date reader, what shenanigans would reader the gang go to keep this person in the dark??

ohhh what an interesting situation!!! some of them would definitely handle it better than others...

Here’s the general concept! Reader’s grandparents are coming to pay their granddaughter a visit in Naples, under the impression she’s been studying there the past few years. Reader has asked some of the members of her team to further validate her story. I imagine everyone as trying to actively court Reader to some extent during this. :’)))

Bruno Bucciarati;

Bruno is a revered member of the community. Any of the troublesome details of his Passione involvements would be lost in translation, so you figured he’s a safe bet. He’s also the member who is most familiar with your situation. While he speaks under the pretense of being professional, he would love to have that connection with your family for... any future possibilities. Marriage possibilities.

He spots you in a mild state of panic, and boasting the compassionate heart he has, is led to ask if you want to talk to him about it. When you explain that some of your foreign family is coming to visit, he can immediately read between the lines. You need to play this part perfectly. He’ll offer to accompany you on one of his less busier days, willing to do whatever it is that’d help.

The language barrier doesn’t matter too much! Bruno is still a gentlemen. Opening doors for them, pulling out their chairs, offering to pay for any of your meals... he’s very kind. Your grandparents are going to be quite fond of him by the end of your day together. All according to his plan.

Unfortunately for you, Bruno is going to be offering lots of praise that he fully expects you to translate. It’s a bit embarrassing how genuine he’s being. Speaking about how hard a worker you are, how nothing gets in your way, stuff like that. Your face is on fire as you translate the heartfelt compliments. You end up toning them down a bit for your sake.

“[First] is one of the most reliable people I know. You should take pride in having helped bring up someone like her. I promise I’ll continue to look after her, you have nothing to worry about.”

“Ahh... Bucciarati, do I really need to tell them that...?”

Giorno Giovanna;

He speaks some English! Giorno did well in his classes at school, so he can understand the basics. Having a knowledge of multiple languages in his position is also a benefit, so he never fully stopped studying it. Though he’d prefer not to mess up any of the pronunciation in front of you. He’ll be practicing in secret as not to embarrass himself, and definitely thinks this is a great opportunity to get closer to you. It’s a shame he can’t take full advantage of it, but he’s going to try to.

Giorno hasn’t really had any positive family interactions, but he’s still good with people. Unfortunately, in his new position, he’s extremely busy. He still tries to make time for you when he can, but won’t be able to hang out with the three of you as much as he’d like to. He does find the time to come to the airport with you, under the pretense that a lot of shady business goes on there. He wouldn’t want your family being scammed. Don’t ask how he knows about this...

The entire car ride to their hotel will be filled with pleasant conversation. Giorno is a natural at reading the room, and backs your story up to perfection. Any potential discrepancies are covered up with ease. He came in for a clean save at least once or twice when you made a mistake, and you couldn’t thank him enough after.

Giorno isn’t going to want to pry into your personal life, but would be highly amused over any stories they tell him. Even though it’s only a forty minute drive, he enjoyed his time a lot more than he expected to, learning some new things about you in the process. You’re a bit frazzled over the person who is technically your boss (even if he’s not big on formalities...) knowing about your embarrassing childhood stories. He finds it endearing. :’)

He’s gonna bring it up afterwards during a casual discussion, sporting a little devious smile.

“So, [First], do you want to tell me about that time you got stuck in a swing set again? It seems quite unlike you.”

“God... I can’t believe they told you that. I was hoping you wouldn’t understand it well.”

Guido Mista;

Oh no.

You’re going to have to explain to him that a few changes will need to occur if he is to meet your grandparents. For one, he needs to take a shower. Two, he needs something that at least covers his midriff. If there conditions are met, you’ll allow it. He is not missing out on this opportunity to win you over, so he’s surprisingly amiable to these conditions, ready to do his best to make a good impression. You’ve never see him so agreeable.

You do have to keep reminding him of the story that you’re sticking to. Mista makes a few mistakes here and there, but manages to laugh it off. Since you’re going to be translating a majority of his sentences it’s not a big deal. That doesn’t mean he won’t at least try to say a few words in English... results varying.

The most difficult part is trying to ignore the Pistols, who are swarming around in excitement. They keep speaking to your grandparents like they can hear them. Asking for embarrassing stories, to know about your past partners, or for any cute childhood photos of you. Mista struggles to keep a composed look when all this is happening.

“Say, [First]. Your grandparents... they aren’t Stand users, are they?”

“No, Mista. My grandparents aren’t Stand users.”

To be honest, you weren’t too sure if Mista tagging along for some sightseeing would be the best idea. It goes a lot better than you expected. Some of his comments that you translate actually get your grandparents laughing! What a miracle, he’s gonna be grinning ear to ear. Mista is just a lovable guy.

He is going to 100% try and sneak in a question about your relationship status when you’re not paying attention. Mista has to make sure you’re still on the market. B)

Pannacotta Fugo;

He’s actually your go to for this situation. It couldn’t be a better setup. Fugo is intelligent, can speak English the most fluently out of everyone in your team, and would be a big help for sightseeing. As soon as he heard about your grandparents visiting, he knew it was only a matter of time until you came to him for help. At first, he was intent on politely turning you down, but god... how can he? You’re too cute, looking at him like that, saying you need his help. Fuck, he’s so whipped for you lmao.

Fugo is the most anxious about it. What if your grandparents don’t like him? What if he accidentally says something offensive? Or even worse, what if he blows your cover, and you hate him forever? He’s gonna being shutting himself in his room, refreshing his English nonstop. You have to admire his dedication.

When the time finally comes, it goes a lot smoother than he anticipated. There’s no humiliating himself in front of you like he feared. Fugo is a bit stiff at first, but with your help, begins to ease up. He’s an amazing tour guide! Fugo knows the best places to go, what times they’ll be busy, the historical and cultural significance of every place, etc. When he starts talking about trivia you can tell he’s in his element.

It’s going so well. That is, until your grandma says you have such a nice boyfriend. Fugo’s entire face goes beet red. If only.

“A-ah, Mrs. [Last], we’re not dating, actually.”

“We aren’t, but... you’re right. Fugo is amazing, isn’t he? There’s nothing he can’t do. I appreciate him a lot.”

On that day, Pannacotta Fugo’s soul ascended. He legitimately cannot stop thinking about this. For you, his crush of many years, to compliment him so genuinely? Fugo.exe has stopped responding .

Narancia Ghirga;

He kinda invites himself along? Narancia is giving himself a bunch of pep talks, thinking of all the things he can say. His train of thought is that if he speaks English well, it’ll impress you! There’s nothing he wants more in this world than for you to think he’s cool and reliable. The problem is that most of his knowledge of English is only from music. So he’s more familiar with vulgarities than anything else.

You’re understandably hesitant to allow Narancia to tag along. Then he makes the solid point to you that Aerosmith’s radar would come in handy, detecting any potential threats. Narancia is going to be sporting the brightest smile when you concede and say he can come with you, practically vibrating with excitement. He promises that you won’t regret picking him.

The place he picks to go is a local pizzeria. In his opinion, the pizza you’ve spoken of back home is an insult to humanity. Naples style is the only way to go. He insists on letting your grandparents try “real” pizza, as opposed to whatever your country has.

Narancia reminiscences about a lot of your past stories together. Nothing that has incriminating undertones, just casual stuff from your years of knowing one another. You’re almost surprised by how he’s remembered all of this. He can’t help it, any time spent with you has been forever imprinted into his mind.

“So, there was this one time we spent hours looking for [First]’s lost wallet. Come to find out that she just left it in the glove department after we spent the entire evening searching for it. And then--”

“Narancia, do you have to bring that up? It’s so embarrassing...”

Leone Abbacchio;

You’re going to have to pull out some incredible arguments to get him to come along with you. He’s going to say no before you even get the chance to ask, already sensing what it is you’re going to say. So be ready to break out some Ace Attorney level stuff or it’s no dice. He’s already offering special treatment by even letting you try to convince him, anyone else would’ve been shooed away. He has a big soft spot for you :’)...

The most you’ll get him to agree to is one dinner. That’s it. Abbacchio has a lot of baggage with him, and doesn’t think highly of himself. To be honest he’s wondering why you’re even relying on him here. It’s strange, since he appreciates the trust you must have for him, but also doesn’t think it’s deserved.

He cleans up well. Abbacchio is going to take this occasion very seriously. For most of the dinner he listens to you speaking, rarely offering input unless he finds it necessary. When he does speak he’s more polite than you’ve ever heard him though. You almost wondered if it was Abbacchio who was speaking, and not some imposter. So he is capable of having manners when he wants to...

He’ll also pay for the dinner, much to your surprise. Will insist on it even. Abbacchio tells you to let them order whatever desserts/wine they want. He’s pulling all the stops to make a good impression.

“Abba, you really didn’t have to do all that. Please at least let me reimburse some of it.”

“Would you stop bringing it up already...? They’re your family, so it’s only natural I’d take care of them.”

Trish Una;

As the only non Passione member on this list, Trish is an excellent choice! Her singing career is really starting to take off. Your family will find her to be impressive. You’ll have to think of a story for how the two of you are familiar with one another. You can’t very well say you used to be her bodyguard protecting her from assassins lmao.

Since she needs to travel a lot to different venues for her career, Trish’s English is steadily improving. She’ll normally text you for help if anything is particularly challenging. The biggest challenge would be aligning your schedules together, at the same time they’re visiting. Trish has a way of making time for you.

One of the things Trish loves to do is give gifts from her travels. So she’ll show up with some little souvenirs for them. It’s a very heartfelt gesture that they appreciate, and she even gives you a gift or two. The queen of good impressions.

Throughout the years, Trish has managed to gather a sizeable collection of selfies from when you’ve spent time together. At some of her albums release parties, trips to the beach, the times you’ve travelled together. She’s going to have a lot of fun going through her hundreds of photos of you and showing them.

“Trish, you almost need a SD card for all of these. Just how many pictures of us do you have?”

“Oh, this is just the beginning, [First]. I have a whole other album of when we went to Milan last spring.”

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thechekhov · 4 years ago

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I had a fast question about commissions. My sister is an artist, and she’s having trouble figuring out pricing. How did you figure out your prices?

The basic idea for an artist looking to start commissions is to do hourly pricing.

(More professional/experienced artists might use a different rubric. Your mileage may vary, etc.)

The first thing to do? Identify some stuff you (or in this case your sister) wants to draw.

For example, I like drawing black and white a lot, so that’s one of my offered commissions. The other kinds can be anything you want.

Examples of some common commission ‘types’:

full-body black and white commission

portrait style commissions (shoulders and up)

character reference sheet commissions (usually full body, full color, displayed for simplicity of viewing, may show off extra items or colors)

backgrounds or concept sketches

pet illustrations, etc

After choosing a few things you’re most confident in (and I stress this: DON’T OFFER COMMISSIONS OF THINGS YOU DON’T LIKE/AREN’T COMFORTABLE DRAWING! It’ll end in disaster.) sit down and think about HOW LONG it takes for you to draw a single thing.

When you have some ideas of how long it takes you to draw a specific type of drawing (and you should, by this stage, have several examples of this kind of drawing on hand so you can simply try to recall how much each one took) you can apply an HOURLY RATE.

When deciding an HOURLY RATE, I greatly recommend going for a minimum of $15/hour. That’s a reasonable minimum wage and gives you wiggle room.

So, if we go with $15 per hour, any drawing that takes you an hour to make would be $15. Any drawing that takes 2 hours would be $30 - etc.

FAQ:

What if I take a really long time to draw? 😰

If you’re one of those artists that ‘snacks’ or productivity (comes in, does 5 minutes of work, goes away for a week, comes back again, does 3 more minutes, etc) then you’re going to have to go for estimates.

If you’re one of those artists that is a perfectionist and it takes you 20 minutes to decide where to put the line, or if you go back in and erase/redo things so much that the time you spend on something ends up being inflated - that’s fine too! But you’ll probably need to adjust things accordingly.

Again, I’m serious - don’t offer things you aren’t comfortable drawing! I used to be TERRIFIED of drawing animals because I couldn’t get their likeness down and spent 3+ hours on a simple sketch. I refused most animal-based commissions because I knew I either didn’t have the confidence to do it, or I would take too dang long because my skill-set wasn’t applicable. After specifically focusing on some animal-based drawings, I became able to whip up a pet portrait relatively easily, which cut down my time for them as well.

I feel like my commissions are overpriced... 😢

A LOT of people feel this way when they post commissions and get no takers. Sometimes, opportunistic assholes may even say ‘your art isn’t worth __!!’

But the reality is - your art ISN’T a necessity like toilet paper or food. It’s a luxury item - fanart, commissions, etc are things that you DON’T NEED but want anyway. And because they aren’t a necessity, there’s no need to price them low enough to make people unwilling to pay more than $10 comfortable.

If someone is complaining that a commission costs ‘too much’ then I would simply ask - too much for what? No one *needs* a commission like their life depends on it. If you don’t have the cash, then you don’t need to pay. Someone else will want to pay, and that’s the person worth waiting for.

What if no one buys my commissions? 😓

I’m going to tell you the cold, hard truth - there’s a good chance no one will!

At first, when you start out offering commissions, unless you already have people begging you to take commissions and/or you have a significant following... no one will ask for commissions.

Does this mean your commissions are bad? No.

Does this mean your commissions cost too much? No.

Does this mean--

It means you have not found your customer niche yet.

If you have a lemonade stand and you go and set up in a low-traffic area where no-one knows you, will you get lots of customers? Probably not. If you go to a city that’s full of other, more experienced lemonade shops, and try to set up nearby, will people buy your lemonade instead? Not likely. If you go to to your local neighborhood and ask your uncle to buy lemonade, will he? Eh, yeah, maybe.

The 3 scenarios above are like posting your commissions info to, say, a new tumblr blog with very few followers, to Twitter, and to Facebook, respectively. None of these scenarios change how good your lemonade may be - but they are nonetheless environmental factors in who wants to purchase your work when they’re not familiar with your style, your manner, and yourself as a person.

Don’t blame yourself - take your lemonade stand and move it, or make a funky commercial, or reach out to other lemonade-sellers and drink THEIR lemonade and hang out in the lemonade community to get more info on how to improve sales.

Anyway, fellow artists, please add on to this! I’m sure I missed details and there’s more to be said here, but that’s my ‘fast’ answer! Haha...

#Anonymous #chekhov answers #arting #how to #commissions #commission pricing #tutorial

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cienie-isengardu · 3 years ago

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Erron Black. Arguably a character I don't know much about. Is Erron Black feminist, sexist, or just soft on girls? Now I know MK everyone can fight everyone, but in story mode...

In MK10 Milenna impale his hand with a knife, but he doesn't fight her. I'll except injury for that one.

But then with Cassie Cage later, he fights her, only after she engages him, but once he knocks her down he stops fighting her to fight Kung Jin in the market.

Later on the bridge fight, we do see him fighting Jacqui Briggs, in the background, but she charged him, so she initiated it, and when they focus in he is fighting Kung Jun again.

In MK11, when young Erron Black goes after Jade and Kotal, he let's Jade leave without so much as a glance.

In the Black Dragon fight pit, even though she is right next to him, he ignores Sonya Blade until she actually attacked him. He doesn't even point the other gun at her, he points it up and looks away, until she punches him.

The only time it looks like he initiated a attack on a woman was when Sheeva got shot in her shoulder armor (and shrugged it off), but we immediately see him chasing down Nightwolf, so that looks like a accident. And they only fight after she punches him across the room.

And in the comic's when he kidnapped Cassie and Jacqui he defended them against Kano, telling him not to hurt them, and when he realized they were in serious danger, tried to free them and help escape.

Unless I'm missing something, well he doesn't avoid it, he doesn't fight initiate fights with women.

Before I will talk at length about Erron Black and his attitude toward women I wish only to emphasize this is my subjective opinion and there is no need to agree with me on this. Because no matter how much source material will be brought into discussion, there are many ways to interpret his mindset, especially since A) what Erron says is not always compatible with what he is doing and B) the specific game mechanics that limit and/or adapt his “personality” to the needs of the storyline.

Long text ahead!

Mortal Kombat X’s stated Erron Black was hired by Shang Tsung 150 years ago. So he was born and raised at least the previous century and half, thus his approach to women may be old-fashioned but I wouldn’t say he was somehow deeply concerned per se about gender to begin with. Yes, the mentioned examples suggest otherwise but their context is as important as Erron’s action alone. Because the context of the game will not always work well with in-universe logic. I’m talking here stricte about game mechanics that are built around chapter’s main hero that must win against the opponents and in the mentioned examples Erron was sadly just an obstacle to beat down so it is not like he could headshot Mileena, Sonya or Sheeva or any woman and be done with the problem despite how marksmanship is his forte. Also, the game mechanic in MKX kinda made me joke that Erron shouldn’t be left on his own for too long because his competence in those chapters seemed that bad (from Outworld’s main cast only D’Vorah looked to me as a competent character and she was a traitor, that says a lot about Kotal’s team doesn it?). Anyway, on the basis of the specific nature of the game alone I wouldn’t go so far to judge Erron’s mindset, especially since he was a background/supportive character in MKX and MK11 story modes. So far, Black didn’t have his own chapter - thus the story isn’t told from his POV.

To be honest, games and comics present Erron in different lights, thus his approach to women may vary from one source to another. Because of that let’s firstly look at the sources separately.

In MKX, on Kotal’s voiceless order, Black was going to kill Rain. Mileena attacked Erron by surprise before he could shoot down the rebel but it was Kotal’s chapter so the emperor was the one that dealt with her. Erron was part of the background during chapter 2 without any impact on the story.

Then we have chapter 4 about Kung Jin.

When Cage Team met Erron Black for the first time, the man demanded to know what is Special Forces’ business here including “a reason why we shouldn’t kill you”. Despite the not so friendly welcome, Erron was willing to address Takeda’s remark (“I can read you… You’re not from Outworld.”) and did not resort to violence once Cassie’s explanation did not satisfy him. Looking at the uncertain situation of Outworld, Erron’s lack of trust is understable - Kotal was still at war with Mileena thus in constant danger. Of course, it is up to interpretation, did Erron listen to Jin solely because the prospect of money spoke to him so much or there is some bias (thus the cynical remark about Raiden’s seal and dismissive attitude) against Cassie, the woman in charge. I personally tend to think Erron was simply cautious because the last Earthrealm that got close to Kotal tried to kill the emperor. And yeah, Kano is nothing like Cassie, Jacqui, Takeda or Jin but there was no way for Black to know that for sure, especially since Outworld and Earthrealm weren’t really at the best terms at that time and Raiden’s name did not foreshadow anything good.

The next sequences may be interpreted as Erron being soft on women but I’m gonna present here different possibilities:

Once Jin went ahead to disrupt the execution, Erron’s first reaction was to shoot him yet Black took aim instead of shooting blindly without care for the crowd (or at least the slow down of his action is how it looked to me). Because he was focused on Jin - the main culprit whose action caused unwanted riot, Cassie easily stopped the attack. Should Erron be more focused on the female soldier at his side? Most likely, but all of this happened in mere seconds so I can understand why stopping Jin acting on his own accord was priority to the mercenary since it was related to his job and he was the one that agreed to take Earthrealmians to Kotal. Which may be the reason why Black just knocked down Cassie and immediately ran after Jin. And mind you, Erron knocked down Cassie by hitting her on the head with the butt of the pistol, which is not a gentle way by no means.

The chapter 6 is focused on Takeda and partially on Cage Team’s run from captivity. The Earthrealmians were important hostages, even if falsely accused of working with D’Vorah. So it makes sense that “Outworld Champions” weren’t trying to kill them. Otherwise Kung Jin would be shot down for good yet Erron kept him just at gunpoint. Once again, the game mechanics don’t make much sense considering how Jin stayed behind as air support but somehow ended up on the bridge while Jacqui disappeared somewhere in the background. Also, the same as with Cassie in Chapter 4, Erron did not kill defeated opponents nor tortured / injured for fun (Rain is a different matter because Erron went for killing only after Kotal’s voiceless order to finish the traitor).

In Chapter 11, Erron is even more degraded into a support role and he did not attack nor take part of the skirmish in the forest until Jacqui beat down Kotal. Personally I suspect he could be (in universe) too injured for hand to hand combat but once Team Cage was surrounded and Kotal gave the order for execution, Erron was aiming at Jacqui and if Sub-Zero did not show up, Black most likely would shoot to kill.

(Also, he did not shoot any enemy from a distance, so the women and men were treated the same although if this is a matter of game mechanics or Erron’s own moral code, hard to tell. Black recognized himself more as Outworlder than anything else so he may actually follow the common there idea of one on one fight.)

So, MKX story mode alone does not tell us much about Erron’s mindset about women because he has never been the one starting fights in the first place. This kinda makes sense since he is a mercenary and kills or injures only those who Kotal wishes to see dead or punished. Besides that he didn’t injure / kill Cassie when he had a chance but he didn't do so with Jin either. MKX!Erron gives the impression of a collected, detached type of person who is far from macho stereotypes or psychopath/sociopath like Kano.

Thankfully there is additional information like dialogue intros and Erron’s ending (from what we learned about Erron's approximate age) that aren’t canon per se but at least give some insight into his psyche.

The best counter argument for eventual Black’s habit of going easy on women is his own ending in which he ambushed and killed Cassie, Jacqui, Takeda and Jin (this situation was repeated in Briggs’ ending except this time Cage Team was saved by Jax). This is a rare moment in which Erron was the attacker and on his own initiated the violence toward others. In this case, he attacked women and men alike.

Then we have intro dialogues in which Erron usually deals with people in a professional manner, some even sometimes addressing in a polite way. Like “Mr. Kung” to Lao, “Mr. Hasashi” to Scorpion and “Mr. Takahashi” to Takeda. Surprisingly, he addresses Cassie and Sonya by their military rank (Sergeant Cage and General Blade respectively) which suggests that whatever Erron learned a century or two ago about gender-related social norms most likely evolved accordingly to his own life experiences, especially those gained in Outworld.

At the same time, it seems some of outfashioned - harmful - convictions are still enough deeply rooted in him to say stuff like that:

Kenshi: The friendless wanderer.

Erron Black: Least I don't take orders from a woman.

Kenshi: Which century are you from?

Which is kinda ironic since Kenshi takes orders from Sonya whom Erron addresses by high military rank without any snide comment about a woman in the army. But as far as I managed to check the intros, this is the only(?) one outright sexist thing Erron said to anyone and surprisingly, he didn’t say that to any woman, just to Kenshi. Frankly, if the idea of taking orders from women was so offensive, why would Erron bother to call Mileena the Crownless Queen or Kitana the Fallen Princess, if both titles by itself imply facing women that are used to give commands or even hire people like him? Once again, there is little to no sexist attitude toward women in context of their power over other men. Which suggests that whatever prejudices Black may have, he does not allow them to affect his interaction with other characters. Usually, at least.

Okay, the insult toward Kenshi could be some of Erron’s deep-seated sexist beliefs adding to the reason why he didn’t support Mileena in the fight for the throne. Yet, at the same time, if that was the case, he could outright say he doesn’t agree to be bossed by a woman to her (or he could be accused of that by her or any character really). Of course, it could be something similar to Black’s claim to care only about money with MK11 strongly hints he is saying one thing and doing differently but I will come back to this topic in a moment.

Another argument against this insult: Erron was one of the characters that did not mock Mileena’s look, origin or called her crazy. If he really thought listening to women's orders was so bad, then he didn’t show that when interacting with her or other female characters.

At the same time, like many other male characters, Black is not immune to the beauty of women around him and some of his comments sounds disrespectful and are unwelcome by the ladies:

Sonya: The gunslinger.

Erron Black: I could take you away from all this.

Sonya: I must be a jerk-magnet.

→ Sonya is not amused by Erron’s words at all.

Erron Black: Hello, beautiful.

Jacqui: Messin' with the wrong girl.

Erron Black: But it feels so right.

Jacqui is like the only one woman described by MKX!Erron as the beautiful one, the other he usually referred to along the lines of hot / sexy. Yet once Jacqui outright warned him to not mess with her, Erron deliberately ignored her because it amuse him. Whatever it is a sign of an old-fashioned mindset (a remnant of the times he grew up) or just simply (male’s) egoism on his part, Erron likes to flirt with women but he does not always respect their opinion or wish to be left alone.

At the same time, Erron rarely tried to change women’s minds about him or their eventual relationship. So far, only the intro dialogue with Kitana seems to be the exception:

Kitana: Stop!

Erron Black: We've barely begun, my lovely.

Kitana: It will end quickly.

Black may put his own amusement above other people's personal comfort, yes, but didn’t act creepy like Kano did, especially toward Blade-Briggs-Cage family as a whole.

So we have this

Jacqui: I really don't like you.

Erron Black: I really don't care.

Jacqui: As long as we're straight on that.

in which Erron doesn’t care for Jacqui’s dislike of his person but doesn’t impose himself on her. He does not resort to the common rapist “excuse” that woman says no but her body says otherwise, like Kano did (“Your mouth says Kano, but your eyes say Kan-yes.”) and this contrast puts Black in a more positive light. Similar thing happened in the intro dialogue toward Tanya.

Erron Black: My friend, Tanya.

Tanya: We are not friends, bounty hunter.

Erron Black: Have it your way...

Again, whether trying to be friendly or ironic, once Erron was “turned down”, he simply accepted the situation without any additional crude remarks.

Interestingly, interaction with Sonya showed that Black was capable of rethinking his statement about hot/sexy women:

Erron Black: Girls with guns? Always hot.

Sonya: I'll shove 'em up your ass and fire.

Erron Black: Almost always hot.

Those examples suggest Erron may treat women differently, depending on their “fighting experiences”, age and origin and maybe even how sexually / aesthetically appealing they are to him. For example, veteran Sonya’s threat was taken seriously while (novice / new generation) Jacqui’s warning was ignored. At the same time, the intro dialogues didn’t hint at any romantic or sexual interest in Ferra (a young female symbiote) nor D’Vorah (Kytinn) and relatively good looking Mileena who deserves a separate paragraph.

To be honest, Erron, Johnny and Kano are like the main three men openly showing their (sexual?) interest in women around them. Understable, Black’s flirting / comments rarely were appreciated yet he still was less creepy or aggressive towards others than Kano. Erron didn’t bother to hide his eventual (sexual) interest in beautiful women but it can’t be said A) he had no control over his sexual drive and B) has rapist / sexual predator tendencies.

Another interesting thing: with few exceptions like Kano or Quan Chi, Erron threatened people with violence usually after they offended him and most of the time maintained professional neutrality toward his rivals. In that regard, Erron treated other characters the same regardless of their gender.

This is something worth keeping in mind how Black, as mercenary, in general is not the initiator of violence. Unless someone will pay him. For money, Erron would attack (kill) anyone, including women (to Tanya, “The Kahn wants your head.” + Erron’s Epilogue).

The last detail to talk about: one of the intro dialogue with Cassie suggests Erron thought she was an easy opponent.

Cassie: Is something funny?

Erron Black: I'll win this easy.

Cassie: You're going down hard.

but to be fair, he thought the same about Sub-Zero

Erron Black: You're an easy target.

Sub-Zero: As are you.

Erron Black: Bullets beat snowballs any day.

so I wouldn’t say it was the bias toward Cassie because of her gender and just Erron’s own arrogance (and maybe lack of good judgement on his part).

In summary, MKX!Erron in game alone tends to act in a professional manner. He had an occasion to shoot defeated opponents but did not seize the opportunity against not only Cassie but Jin as well. During the storyline he was rather collected, emotionless. In intro dialogues he openly expresses his interest in tough, relatively attractive women yet the banter is far from the creeping tone of Kano’s interaction with female characters.

Then we have Mortal Kombat 11 in which past and future timelines are messed up. Sadly, Erron’s characterization departs from the neutral-polite one seen in the previous game. Of course, this could be blamed on the younger version of Erron, but frankly, twenty years for someone living at least for a century and half shouldn’t make that big difference in behaviour and well, MK11 outright claims Erron is prone to violence for violence’s sake instead of just money. Which is one of many plot-holes and divergences between both games I guess.

Anyway, Erron, again, was the background character to beat down, so it is worth remembering that he couldn’t permanently hurt or kill anyone from the main cast. In chapter 2 he let Jade get away when he was facing Kotal and frankly, there is little explanation for that in-universe wise. I personally suspect it may be related to Erron’s own sense of honor, as in respecting one on one fight without cheap moves like shooting someone’s beloved person. Not practical in the mercenary job but it is possible for someone born and raised around two centuries ago. Also, Shao Kahn’s anger was focused mainly on killing Kotal for taking the throne. Because of that Erron could be not interested in Jade who simply did not have any significant political matter at that time. Sadly, it is really hard to say for sure what was on his mind.

In chapter 6, past!Erron stormed the Special Forces Base alongside Black Dragon members. There were women in that group but sadly, Black did not interact with anyone beside Johnny Cage. We can at least assume, Black did not mind fighting side by side with women.

Similary, present!Erron in chapter 7 showed up in the background during the alliance attack on Coliseum. The attack was led by Kitana (albeit did Erron join her to save Kotal out of loyalty or for money, it was not explained) and there were female fighters in the group. It seems then Erron does not mind fighting side to side with women.

During the pit fight (chapter 8), past!Erron faced the past!Sonya and the past!Johnny. Frankly, the same as in the previous chapter, game mechanics make little sense because there was no real reason for Erron to open the ring and face the characters when he could simply shoot down both from a safe distance. This really undermines the whole point of Black being a gunslinger, isn’t it?

Anyway, Cage took the forward position (which I think is both because despite his injuries he tried to shield Sonya AND because he actually met Erron during an attack on a Special Forces’ base) and got shot in the arm. After a short skirmish, Erron knocked down Johnny and aimed to kill the injured man.

The most logical thing for Erron in this situation would be to shoot down Sonya first and then finish already beaten down and exhausted Johnny. In defense of the Black though it is worth emphasizing that he didn’t completely ignore Blade nor turned away from her.

Most likely the weird slow-down action of aiming at Johnny was a moment of distraction that Sonya simply used to attack. Similar to MKX, game mechanics do not allow Black to headshot the main heroes, even though, in-universe, he should do just that and be done with the job. There is also a possibility that past and present Kano still wanted to keep Sonya alive for their own amusment (torture and sadly most likely rape) what could explain why Erron didn’t shot her from safe distance. I mean, the game alone did not voice what Kanos really ordered Erron to do.

I know that MK games like to slow down action for dramatic effects, but I strongly believe it was actually a matter of a few seconds of distraction (Erron looking aside to shoot Johnny and aiming) that Sonya took advantage of rather Black ignoring her on purpose. Even more since Black did not hesitate to shoot at her and seemed to enjoy facing “the legendary” Sonya Blade.

The same as MKX, Mortal Kombat 11 does not explain Black’s mindset. He does not shoot Jade or Sonya when he has a chance but he does not make any rude remarks toward women in general. However the intro dialogues shed a light on the complicated relationship that Erron has with women.

From what we learn about Erron, his childhood was far from normal or safe. We don’t know details, but what he shared with Cetrion and Cassie strongly suggest that Erron’s both parents were abusive people:

Cetrion: You shot your own father, Erron Black.

Erron: Sonofabitch had it coming.

Cetrion: Honor thy parents, mortal!

Erron: My Ma would’ve loved you, Cassie Cage.

Cassie: Aw, sounds like you miss her bunches.

Erron: I hated Ma.

Erron: I grew up around tough women.

Cassie: Didn’t they teach you respect?

Erron: They taught me to hit back.

The last statement suggests young Erron was abused by women (most likely including his own mother) to the point he is now willing to hit back anyone regardless of their gender without remorse. Erron himself says “I ain't above shootin' a lady” (intro dialogue vs. Sonya).

Beside that, an abusive mother alone could influence Black’s approach to women - and most likely she did, since he admitted to hate her. Surprisingly, Erron uses the past tense (“I hated Ma”) so there is a chance he gained distance over time in that matter. It also seems like whatever he feels about mother usually doesn't affect his relationship with other female characters. For example, in the mentioned banter he did not insult Cassie for reminding him about the abusive parent. Despite the bad childhood intro dialogues hint Black actually likes dangerous women.

Erron Black: I stepped out with Nitara before you.

Skarlet: You clearly have a type, Erron.

Erron Black: Just like living dangerously.

Like in the previous game, Erron openly shows his (sexual) interest in various women. The interesting change however is how:

His interest extends now to more alien-looking female characters like Nitara or Sheeva. Surprisingly, Mileena’s advances are still rejected. Also, Erron has like zero respect for the goddess Cetrion but to be honest, he does not respect any god.

Erron is more disrespecting by using nicknames like Legs or Baby Doll for Sonya or Sugar for Cassie. Of course, it may be just the “charm” of younger Black - hard to tell in most cases which version is speaking - but it creates an overall feeling of ironic, at times irritating or insulting approach to female fighters. At the same time, there are women that Erron refers to in a rather consistently respectful manner - Jacqui (Miss Briggs, Little Lady), Jade (ma’am, missy), Kitana (Princess, Kahn).

Before I will focus on the complex situation with Mileena, I need to talk about Erron’s important trait: he often says one thing but does the opposite. This is especially noticeable in intro dialogues concerning money and loyalty. Both games agree the main motivation for Black is a good payment, albeit MK11 highline also the thrill of danger. Anyway, Erron admitted he is willing to betray Kotal, a current employer, if someone offered a better deal (“Until a better offer comes along.”, “There's always a better offer, Kotal”). This strengthens the impression Black cares only about himself yet he rejects all propositions coming from Kotal’s enemies such as Shao Kahn, Rain or Mileena, Quan Chi, Shinnok and Kano/Black Dragons. At the same, he is willing to work with/ for Kitana who happens to be the best friend of Jade, Kotal’s beloved. Which makes Erron still operate in a group wishing no harm to the ex-emperor.

I’m bringing this into discussion because there is strong possibility that under the tough guy act, Erron still follows some “old-fashioned” sense of morality and is decent enough to not attack or harm women (and in my opinion, people in general) unless A) it is part of the job or B) is self-defense. Which could explain why he let Jade walk away or why he didn’t shoot Sonya from a safe distance but faced her in hand to hand combat. Depending how long he lived in Outworld, he could simply adapt into local customs - the people of Outworld are a combat-focused society and because of that have a strong sense of honor code. Erron’s eventual softness toward female fighters would get him in serious problems and I doubt he could afford such weakness when serving Shang Tsung or Shao Kahn.

So, why did Erron not want to serve Mileena, the designated successor? As the Empress, she was in position to offer the best (materially wise at least) deal after all.

In MKX!banter Erron claims Kotal paid him better:

Mileena: You aided the usurper.

Erron Black: He offered more coins.

Mileena: ...and no protection.

Meanwhile, MK11!Black outright says it was not a matter of money but of Mileena’s behaviour. Considering how prone to violence she was, it is no wonder why Erron decided to work for someone else.

Erron Black: Now what's got you all rip-snorting mad?

Mileena: When I gained the throne, you abandoned it.

Erron Black: Wasn't no pay worth dealing with your crazy.

This brings me back to the MKX’s banter suggesting Erron may dislike being bossed by women. Considering the implication he is currently negotiating a proper deal with Kitana Kahn (“New Kahn, same deal?”), the problem is more complex than judging someone by gender alone. I mean, Erron worked for Shao Kahn who himself was a cruel tyrant so sadism shouldn't be anything new for Black, right? Except, he was hired by Shang Tsung and because of that I think it is highly possible Erron had just indirect contact with the Emperor. Thus Erron could be not ready for Mileena’s unstable nature(?) and cruelty.

I mean - Erron comes from a pathological family and grew up around tough women. In his opinion Cassie has some traits or behaves in a way for which his mother would’ve liked the girl. So there are certain things that Black connects to hated mother. Now, Cassie is more of an extrovert type of person, showy and with sharp ripostes but she is one of the good guys and cruelty for fun is not her thing. So, if someone like Cassie can somehow make him think of a hated parent (that most likely is dead for decades now), how much Mileena could trigger Erron in the wrong way? To the point he chooses his mental health over money and/or thrill of danger?

If this is true, we may further wonder if bad experiences with tough women in childhood are the reason why despite flirtatious nature, Erron’s interest in female fighters usually is strictly sexual attraction? Because it really looks like he does not try to emotionally connect with women. Even his “thing” with Skarlet seems to be more a matter of thrill than a serious relationship, considering how Erron was okay with her eventual death.

(The possibility of Erron being freaked out by Mileena also rises an interesting question about her mental state between MK9 and MKX)

This is why I think Erron did not have a problem with working for women as long as they did not remind him too much of past abuse. And this is pretty nice implication, considering how tough guy Erron is for most of the time.

Because of that, Kotal questioning if Erron is jealous of Jade could be read in different way too:

Erron Black: So, you and Jade, huh?

Kotal Kahn: Jealous, Erron Black?

Erron Black: She's quite the looker, Kotal.

And yeah, Erron brings this to the matter of appearance alone, but hopeful as I proved earlier, Erron sometimes says one thing but does (thinks) something totally different. Because of that I suspect he may not be really jealous of Kotal for having a sexy lady but actually of the relationship itself. You know, build on respect and love than just build on sexual drive.

Like I said before, the game cutscenes and character banters may be interpreted in many ways but for me MK11!Erron Black - at least the older version - seems to mask his trauma and/or complex nature of his relationship with women under the act of tough guys. At the same time, there is a high possibility he still follows an out-fashioned sense of honor and though he is not above shooting women, he does not attack them unless it is demanded. Though to be fair, in my opinion this is how he approaches everyone. A mercenary’s mindset that distinguishes him from the likes of Kano.

In Mortal Kombat 11: Aftermatch, Erron met Sheeva, when the Shokan Queen in the company of Fujin, Nightwolf and Shang Tsung carried a coffin to the Soul Chamber. Black and Baraka decided to confront the Shokan woman and it quickly turned into a fight (and the typical game mechanics).

There is a question though - did Erron really take Kitana's offer or did he stay with Kotal? Because it’s really suspicious that he happened in the place where defenless, injured Kotal was in the healing process. Anyway, whatever the case, Black directly or indirectly worked for the new Kahn so it is highly possible his actions were dictated by Kitana’s best interest rather than his liking or disliking anyone.

Let’s just look at the situation - Kitana is the empress but she promised to treat her allies as her equals. That means Sheeva, as well respected Shokan Queen, plays an important role in the new regime - killing her or permanently injuring was out question, otherwise Shokan people could rebel against Kitana and in result the freshly established peace would go straight to hell.

In my opinion, this is why Erron asked Sheeva’s group to go with them quietly so the situation could be explained to Kitana without unnecessary violence. Black actually was okay with Sheeva go to Soul Chamber as long as Shang Tsung (Shao Kahn’s sorcerer) and the suspicious coffin was returned to him. Thanks to Shang Tsung, one of Tarkatan warrior died and thus the situation got out of hand. It makes sense Erron was more focused on Shang Tsung (hated by Kitana), Nightwolf (whose current self is revenant) and Fujin than on Sheeva who, potentially, was protected by political immunity.

When the Shokan Queen beat down Baraka, Erron in my opinion did not try to hurt her, only fired a warning shot. Maybe to make sure Sheeva will not kill Baraka (another important leader whose support Kitana needed to uphold the peace in Outworld). The Earthrealmers on other hand were another matter. Maybe Erron was too trusting or too reckless to not pay more attention to Sheeva or simply didn’t really think she was the traitor. It was after learning she is trying to resurrect Kitana’s evil mom - a dangerous, not consulted with Empress decision - Erron faced Sheeva in hand to hand combat.

Not much to analyse here, especially not with limitations of game mechanics yet I strongly believe Erron’s course of action was dictated by political situation and Kitana Kahn’s best interest so killing or seriously injuring Sheeva could be out of question. Also, like I said previously, Black is rarely the aggressor, what I believe is related to his mercenary’s mindset.

The last source, Mortal Kombat X comics series, requires a little clarification: I treat it as a potentially additional insight into Erron’s psyche than any real canonical material. Partially due to many plot-holes but also because of overwhelming violence used for violence’s sake alone. That said, here what happens:

Earthrealm (Special Forces) and Outworld (Kotal Kahn) weren’t on the best terms. To help Kotal, Erron and Black Dragons kidnapped young (under 21 years old) Cassie and Jacqui and took them to Outworld. During the journey through the dangerous jungle, girls tried to run away but got hurt in the process by Kano. Erron openly talked against brutal treatment of prisoners.

Looking at the difficult situation of Kotal, it was in Erron’s best interest to keep Cassie and Jacqui in one piece. Otherwise the whole plan would fail and then Kotal would be forced to deal with really pissed off Sonya Blade. And that would take a bad turn for Black himself. But like I said earlier, the tough guy act could also cover Erron’s more empathic nature that in the mercenary world was seen as a weakness to exploit. I personally think he did not like torturing people if that was unnecessary but also that he would have spoken against it even if Cassie and Jaquie were boys.

Then the Red Dragons attacked to take over hostages.

(Once again, a tough guy act with the “girls are Kotal’s property” as in cover up his worries about the situation or his true mindset, or mix?)

When the fight started, Erron went to tied hostages:

One one hand, Erron needs the girl to stay alive and not be taken by the enemy. On the other hand, he does not promise them safety nor ask them to run away. He is freeing them so the two girl (both under 21 years old) will fight against experienced criminals armed with swords and other dangerous stuff. This is actually an interesting detail, because it suggests Erron thought Cassie and Jacqui had a chance against thugs or that at least that way they wouldn't be a burden to him.

Jacqui punched him and Erron, either was taken by surprise or did not want to hurt her, was “saved” by Kano. And then betrayed by the Black Dragon leader.

Kano’s worlds raise a question, how much Erron is driven by the money and how much he uses the tough guy act to actually hide his unwanted “vulnerability” (as in, having moral sense and not being the heartless psychopath like Kano).

My general conclusion about Erron is that, for a side character he has a really complex relationship with women around him. I strongly believe that Erron sticks to some old fashioned sense of honor that mixes well with a mercenary's mindset. Thus rarely he is the one attacking first. This most likely influences his interaction with female fighters but at the same time, Outworld is not a place where people are judged by gender but for their skills and powers. So, Erron living there for decades for sure got influenced by that mindset to some degree.

I would not call him a feminist - not because he couldn’t be one but for lack of proper material to analyse. Feminism has many shades but in the most general sense is about establishing the political, economic, personal, and social equality of the sexes. Erron does not show much opinion on that matter and does not interact with “common” women; those truly weaker than him, disabled or anything else other than warriors, soldiers or queens. With lack of such interaction there is no chance to come to a proper conclusion.

Does Erron have a soft spot for women? It is possible but that would not stop him from hitting back or killing them if the situation called for such action. I think the safest option is just that Erron is in general a more emphatic and honorable human that he wants to admit, to not look weak or be exploited by others. In contrast to Kano, Black for sure has some moral code he follows no matter what. Even if this get him into trouble more often than not.

Hope it answers your question!

#mortal kombat #erron black #my replies #my analysis #erron is like a turtle hard on outside soft(er) inside i guess #sorry it took me so long to write there was many stuff to talk about #hope it helps!

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goldemas1244 · 3 years ago

Note

Heyyyy I have a question :3

Do you have any headcanon/s for these character : Scraptrap, Scrap Baby, Lady Dimistrecu, the three daughter of Lady D, Heisenberg and/or Molten Freddy ? :3

You don't have to do all the proposition, you can choose what character you want to do :3

Have a good day/evening and stay safe ! :3

*Cracks knuckles* \(^v^)/

You already know I'm doing all of them! Thank you for the ask! Headcanons under the cut!

FNaF6

Scraptrap

He loves rice and would do anything to get his paws on it. Fortunately, the pizzeria is quite close to a Chinese restaurant so rice is easy to get.

He orders a rice-based menu at least three times a week, so the owners aren't at all that surprised to see a tuxedo-clad zombie-rabbit come in and ask for their signature fried rice with buttered lobster on the side.

Since he like to dine-in there, he usually asks Michael to give him a bath in exchange for pizzeria improvements. Michael usually shrugs and gives him a well-deserved bubble bath and his tuxedo.

He likes it when Michael gives him head pats and rubs. It makes him feel loved and appreciated.

He has a pet pigeon named Fernando Buschmann. It's German and likes to listen to the violin.

He likes ASMR and memes. ASMR makes him go feral with murderous intent while memes make him question the modern generation.

He has social media accounts, all named "Willton-Moldover". He usually posts cosplays and furry art on them and has 93 followers on his Reddit profile, 1.5 million followers on his Instagram, 550 followers on his Tumblr, 35 on his Snapchat, and 3.95 million on his TikTok.

He also has a YouTube channel with 10.784 million subscribers called "Willton-Gameover". He plays videogames one-handed and roasts popular YouTubers and famous people. He would never roast Keanu Reeves though, because Keanu Reeves is precious bean.

Due to his popularity he gets a lot of hate mail and private pics. He doesn't like them at all so he blackmails the people who post them. And if the media and police are involved? Well, he has a strong fanbase that's not going down as well as a good alibi so that works out well for him.

Yes, his fanbase also knows of the Fazbear Murders, and he admits to it but frankly, he's shown them the approving ghost kids (who've bonded and gamed with him) so that's no big deal. Only Cassidy hates him, but it's usually constipated anger.

He's bisexual and has an ENORMOUS crush on one of his favourite game characters, Karl Heisenberg. Something about that man reminds him of himself and Henry, although he's not sure what. Still, don't let that distract you from the fact that he owns a nude Karl Heisenberg body pillow, CAPCOM official.

Scrap Baby

Her favourite Monster High doll is Draculaura. She doesn't understand how pink goes well with black but oh boy, pink goes so well with black.

She knows how to skateboard like a pro. Despite her weight, her trusty skateboard still stands and, if she falls, she's always got her skates to spare. She likes to impress the boys at the skatepark with her ability to perform even the most difficult of moves with ease.

She's subscribed to fifteen different tabloid subscriptions. She likes to read them and criticize the stupidity of the human race, like her father. Hey, it's hereditary.

The lights in her boobies glow in the dark. They also glow whenever she gets tired.

She likes reading furniture and gardening catalogues. She's judgy of the prices though and usually becomes a full-on critic with Lefty listening.

She owns a crab named Mr. Tootie. No I will not elaborate on the name. I'll only tell you that it's taken a liking to kazoos and party favours.

She's listed as the No. 1 Best Fan of her father's social media accounts. Michael's in nineteenth place but don't worry, he's as emotionless as a mushroom.

She likes to make origami lotuses. She's such a pro at it that she's even got a mini-stall at the pizzeria: 1 lotus for 50 cents. It's a lucrative business, and it's still growing. Oh, and she switches to other origami works of art every week such as origami guns and origami nine-tailed foxes.

She's the Restaurant Rescue manager. Usually she saves kids from trouble. For this reason, yes, she's commonly seen in the pizzeria itself. Kids love her though the claw worries the more irksome parents.

She's a professional Karen dealer. Karen comes to see the manager? She's hypnotically talented in weaving her words through the toughest of craniums so don't be surprised if a Karen walks out with a new viewpoint of life.

She performs on stage on the occasion, which usually gets her a lot of fan love. She cherishes everything good they give but ignores the problematic everythings. Problematic stuff? Oh, she's good friends with the police chief.

Molten Freddy

He loves noodles. Give him a bowl of ramen and he'll shut up for the entire night. Enter him in a noodle-eating competition and his high metabolism rate means absolutely non-stop spaghetti.

He misses Bon-Bon very much. To the point where he's even tried to make a scrap version of him. Sadly, it doesn't work. He cried that day.

He dies inside whenever he finds out there's a spaghetti shortage in Utah. Poor Molten.

He's a bit wonky, but if he tries to play with you or get into your personal space, don't get mad at him! He's just lonely and wants someone to talk to and play with.

He likes to play Exploding Kittens. It's the only card game he's good at. It's also the only card game he owns.

He sees Helpy as a little brother and boops his nose on a daily basis. He also likes to reenact The Lion King with him (It's the ciiiiiircle of liiiiiife~). Hopefully Helpy doesn't mind.

He knows a lot of jokes in a lot of languages. So German-speaking Molten Freddy wouldn't be too far away from expectation. His favourite jokes are in French though; the wordplay is just immaculate.

He's good in French, English, German, Russian, and Malay. He's currently learning Japanese because he's a mega weeb.

His favourite cartoon is Charlie and Lola. He just likes to see the sibling shenanigans as it somehow reminds him of the good old days.

His favourite shows would be prankster shows. He especially loves the ones that give him new and creative ideas. He doesn't like the scary ones though. They make him feel unsafe and give him anxiety.

Surprisingly, he has a distinct taste for opera. He can modulate the remnants of his voice box to perfectly sing I Am The Very Model Of A Modern Major-General. This both pisses off and impresses Henry to an extent.

Resident Evil 8

Lady Dimitrescu

She might act like the opposite but she really loves Heisenberg as her little brother. His determination, strength, speed, dexterity, and workaholic nature impresses her, who can't even fit through a doorway. She sometimes wishes she's as short as him too.

She's an avid collector of glass, porcelain, and anything fragile. It's a good reason to always be careful where you tread in her lair. She'll make you swallow every last shard if you don't.

She's an avid romance fanatic and is very loving towards the romance novels she owns. All those books you see in the in-game library? They're her collection of lesbian romances that she's collected over the past decades.

She doesn't like hats and prefers to stick to the one she wears in-game. She DOES have a collection of hats though. Last anyone counted, there were over fifty, one or two for each decade she's lived through.

She files her nails on a constant basis and owns an ornately decorated nail-clipper. Hygeine is of the utmost importance. She doesn't want to be compared to that filthy Heisenberg.

Despite her size and carefulness she keeps losing her stuff. Over the course of a week she could misplace three wine glasses, two reading glasses, and fifteen bottles of wine.

She's an expert at dodgeball and golf and even owns a lifetime access to the most prolific Country Club in Romania. With permission from Mother Miranda she goes there every year for the yearly party. It's one of the times she gets to see modernity (and Ed Sheeran) at its finest.

She loves bands from the 1920s and 1940s. However, she gets bored of them occasionally and switches them to something more modern, like Ed Sheeran. Seriously though, what is up with mums and Ed?

She's into executions and torture methods. So it's no surprise that she's a HUGE fan of Horrible Histories; even if she can't watch the show, she'll binge-read the books over and over again. She's even had the chance to encounter (and receive an autograph from) Terry Deary. They have sworn a bond not to tell anybody about this.

She loves exotic animals like anacondas and jaguars. She may or may not have owned a 10ft long Saltwater Crocodile (which was also about 5ft wide).

She's an incredible physicist and mathematician. She's also created many original formulae but unsurprisingly, she doesn't tell anyone about them, for fear that either more people may know of her, or that she may be wrong.

Dimitrescu Babes

They can devour an entire human being in mere seconds as flies. It's sort of like the scarab beetles in The Mummy movies. However, unlike the beetles, they are able to strip the bones as well. They leave nothing behind.

They all know how to play the piano with varying levels of success. Daniela can already play professionally while Bela is still stuck on Grade 5.

They love to listen to their mother when she tells them stories. Gotta hand it to 'em, when you're a fly, you know how to enjoy life in its most simple of moments.

They all love being around the hunky Soldats of Uncle Karl. Fortunately, they don't know of the rebellious plan to conquer Miranda.

Bela is bisexual, Cassandra is asexual and pansexual, and Daniela is demisexual.

It gets hard when you're a fly during the summer. If it's not the lizards, spiders, and other predators, it's the heat. Because of this, despite the material waste, they have invented the world's first blood-powered air conditioner.

The three girls have never ever ever touched a stove or oven in their life. They HAVE touched the hot end of an iron though. A good reason to not touch a bloody oven. Alcina has though, but doesn't tell them that.

They love puppies! Uncle Karl brought them a baby labrador. For the rest of the week Alcina had lost quite a bit of favour from them. Not that they minded of course. IT'S A PUPPY.

They don't like snow one bit. Not just because it's cold, but because it's too white. Too bright. Too shiny. They just can't focus on their prey!

They like to go over to Auntie Donna to play with Angie. Well, you know what they say, crazies attract the crazies, and the crazy has attracted the crazies.

They also like to go to Uncle Moreau's because he's the only one in the village with a PS4. Usually they'd spend about three-quarters of a day playing his games and eating his cheese.

Karl Heisenberg

He owns a dark blue armchair named Junkyard. Despite the name, he loves it dearly because it was a gift from Alcina for his twenty-first birthday. It became part of his final transformation too. Right under the hat.

He's a little blind in the right eye, much to his annoyance. It was a minor accident with Sturm; another reason for him to hate the uncontrollable wretch. He'll never live that day down.

Somehow, he sees better in the dark, which is why he wears such tinted glasses. He also wears them to hide his expressions, since, more often than not, he tends to end up wearing his heart on his sleeve, and his emotions in his eyes.

He's under a lot of pressure so it's no surprise that he breaks down in his factory when he knows he's alone. And by break down I mean crumple into an exhausted heap on the floor. Not even his Soldat Jet squad can wake him up until he's had a reasonable eight hours of rest.

He bathes once a day, every evening, but only three times a week. Perfume, tobacco, and cologne keep care of the rest.

He's the only Lord with a daily contact with the outside world due to his electrical abilities. Don't tell Miranda, but he can electrically CONNECT TO GOOGLE AND THE ENTIRE INTERNET IN GENERAL. He likes to play funny YouTube cat videos in his head when Miranda's having a boring meeting. It's also how he finds out that Chris is a boulder-punching asshole.

He does stimming! He likes to tap his fingers on his desk and the metal rails in his factory. He also buys stim toys from the Duke and keeps them in a well-kept box. His favourite is a non-ripping squishable toy duck. He also sings to chill out.

He's absolutely in the Five Nights at Freddy's franchise, and may have once believed in the pizzeria's existence. Come on, he's a mutated Overlord with magical magnet powers. Children souls stuck inside animatronics isn't too far-fetched of an idea. His favourite characters are the Funtimes and the Scraps, mainly because of the blueprint complexity. He HAS tried to replicate the animatronics in his spare time, but he's usually too busy with his Soldats so the project gets scrapped. He loves The Living Tombstone's songs and remixes though.

He doesn't like William Afton at all (though he marvels at his survivability). William's nature and habits remind him of Mother Miranda. He DOES however enjoy Michael Afton and often thinks how it would be absolutely amazing to have that resilient being in his Soldat army.

He's scared of what lurks below the watery depths and fire. Ironic because his brother is a literal fish and he works in one of the most hazardous fire-conducting environments. He's also scared of heights, though he doesn't get airsick.

He once died due to a killing electric shock whilst working on Sturm. It's the only time he's felt that sort of pulsing agony and also the first time he's had the confirmation that yes, Hell is real and yes, he'll end up in quite a dark pit in it. Or it could've been an electric dream, who knows? Anyways his soul apparently ran towards the opposite direction of the flames and he woke up alive after the passing of FIVE ENTIRE WEEKS. Oh boy did Alcina get worried when she couldn't find him.

Thank you for the ask! I hope you enjoy!

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autumnslance · 3 years ago

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I've got a writing question that's been on my mind for a while: how do you keep your OCs from becoming self inserts? Every time I think of developing an OC I realize that it's attributes that I

Oops, you got cut off! But in general: all your OCs are going to have traits of yours; it’s inevitable. Sometimes big things, sometimes small things. It’s how we relate to them, and also just natural, I promise. We write what we know, and we know how we interact with ourselves and the world.

But there is a difference between sharing some traits with a character and making them a self-insert. It’s letting their life, their community and culture, their experiences, also influence their traits and thinking, in ways that might be different from how you would respond in a similar situation. Even if you share those attributes.

This is me so let’s go behind a cut shall we?

Dark Autumn is as introverted and solitary by nature as I am; she can and does interact in professional and friendly ways with people (as I try to do), but needs alone time to recharge. However, Dark also has a very different outlook and relationship with her family than I, since her family is large and supportive, very close knit. If family is a lottery, I got the $50 scratch off prize while she hit the Mega-Millions. So I take that into account when thinking of her relationships not just with family, but with friends and potential romantic interests; Dark sees things through a lens of positive, low-drama familial relationships that I can barely fathom. This also means she has a support network and resources myself and other characters don’t, so gets some wish fulfillment of working through issues with care and grace instead of remaining in unhealthy places. She is my “comfort OC” so gets a lot of good things I wish I had—which shapes how she responds to others, like taking care of a FCmate and becoming something of a big sister figure for him, or the responsible older sister figure of my group of OCs. Which is me, really, idealizing my own older sister tendencies into this giant woman who’s better at it.

Aeryn was written to be on the ace scale; not my first character to be so, but the first written that way as I began to realize where my own orientations lie and wanting to examine that through fiction. That she fell for a certain rogue in the process of playing through MSQ again was not at all intentional. I like Thancred as a character—he hits a lot of tropes I enjoy—but in my own mindset, he’s a frustrating younger brother. I didn’t think I’d do NPC x WoL shipping. But there it is, because in determining Aeryn’s own experiences and how those shaped her, it ended up working out that way (and I spent the better part of 2 years writing the characters separately to figure that out and if it could work before writing them together because it’s not something that comes naturally to me).

Aeryn’s internal anger is something I have a difficult time with; it’s outside my own nature to carry things like that. I have my angers, certainly, but they are different from hers. I tend to need a lot to set me off and then it burns out hot and quick. Aeryn’s more of a long boil she keeps bottled up. I’ve gotten a few things through various fics, I think, but it’s why I do things like reference arguments but rarely depict them. Being non-confrontational myself (I’m meek and have hangups thanks to my own life) it’s a challenge. Aeryn responded to childhood traumas (that I never dealt with), bullying (that I did), losses (that I haven’t yet), and the responsibility she’s been given (thank goodness I don’t) far differently than I. Maybe I’d be more volatile, too, if I had her life. But I understand where her anger comes from sharing some of the reasons, I just shape it differently than my own.

There’s a lot of things about Dark and Aeryn that are accidentally similar, just due to the timing of their character generation and other RP OCs made for other games along the way; “Oh I haven’t done X or Y in a character in awhile” sort of thing, but how each approaches those similarities and why—their quietness, their issues with using magic, their tendency to “adopt” others as family—all come from different places and resolve differently, too.

C’oretta comes from a part of me that doesn’t quite want to grow up. That wishes I had been more of the peppy, active, cheerful, risk-taking, live it up stereotypical party kid, that “popular girl” archetype I felt so often on the outside looking in about. As my second character, I wanted her to be different from Dark Autumn—visually, emotionally, mentally. Where Dark is steady, C’oretta is flighty. While Dark is people oriented, C’oretta’s a bit selfish (like I often feel). Dark’s introverted, C’oretta’s extroverted. Much of C’oretta’s attitude is a deflection against the hurts in her life, a way to fight back against some terrible things. It’s a way I could never react. But I also can’t get away from a character who loves to learn and wants to try new things—but where other characters gain the ability to stick with and see them through, C’oretta gets my easy frustration and boredom, and then the “ooh shiny” of a new interest. There’s a history of ADHD (or whatever the acronyms are now) and even autism and learning issues in my family; it’s possible I have some undiagnosed ND stuff going on, and people have noted these things in C’oretta that I’ve based on my own experiences and those of people very close to me.

Many of my characters have traits I wish I had, or were better at; patience, kindness, consideration, convictions, courage, thoughtfulness, and so on and etc. They’re good at skills I haven’t the knowledge in, or the ability to do. They’re certainly more active than I am, or could be! Because I can take the time to think and plan and research and write those things out better, and just maybe along the way not only learn something myself, but try to practice it better myself. I can even sometimes let them teach me what I can possibly do or be, not just imagine it as an ideal that’s out of reach.

I try to let my characters make mistakes I wouldn’t—or in some cases, have in my past, and that’s OK. Especially if I learned from them, but maybe the character does not. Maybe they do but it takes awhile, or repeated instances until it sinks in. Maybe I let them make errors I still make, as a way to puzzle out better solutions I should probably entertain for myself.

Character voice is something I’ve felt I struggled with in keeping my OCs distinct. Do characters ‘sound’ alike, in dialogue and prose? Having distinct ways of speaking helps; C’oretta’s breathless chatty run-ons are certainly different from Dark and Aeryn’s quieter tendencies. I have to remember to trim down Aeryn’s dialogue more often, say less aloud, add more gestures and facial expressions. I tend to be a talker, an over-explainer (if you can’t tell), while the only times she gets like that are specific. Dark’s somewhere in the middle of those two, like I am. A lot of the reason I like writing NPCs and try to keep them close to my interpretation of canon is to practice distinct character voice to get better at it in my OCs, so they don’t sound like me!

And something I’ve never admitted to before is that I think for me, it helps that from the time I was a kid watching various series of Star Trek, I always have had an in-my-own-head-only self-insert. She’s always a support character (that’s what I’m best at). She has cool and unusual abilities to help the actual heroes, cuz heck it’s my internal fantasy and that’s fun. She has traits I want to be better at or wish I had, developed over time with more energy and focus than I can actually muster in reality. As time’s gone on, she’s become more of a mentor and Mom Friend as I’m now older and see a lot of protagonist characters as “my kids” now. She appears in nearly every story I’ve loved over time, in one iteration or another. And because I have a headspace character where I can say “this is what I, ideally, would say and do and be capable of in this situation…” My other characters that I actually write about can vary between doing something similar (if it suits them) to doing something completely different (cuz darn kids never listen) as I can compare them to the self-insert and decide where to diverge.

So it’s a mix of myself and my traits and knowledge, but taking into account how each character would respond and use those same attributes differently than I do or would. Write what you know, write who you are—and then add in some wish fulfillment, some what ifs, some bad choices, some good choices, and shake things up. Give the characters tics and tricks different from yourself and let that shape them, too, by remembering to take those things into account (even if you have to tape a note to your monitor).

And finally, don’t be ashamed of your self-inserts; I’ve known some great characters that started as self-inserts and grew, through their experiences, into wholly different people than their writers over time. Heck, the epic romance my original WoW priest was part of was with a character that started as a self-insert; his player began the game knowing nothing of the lore or roleplaying, but as he learned the story and how to RP, and determined how his character fit into the world and how that shaped him, the character diverged over time, while still sharing some key traits (some endearing, some frustrating, as people are and all part of that friend). It’s not a bad starting point at all. The rest can come over time and practice, especially if you make a lot of OCs and try to make them different from each other while also being aspects of yourself.

#Writing #Blogging #About me #Lyn Prompts #Character Development #Self Inserts #Original Characters

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mha-adore · 4 years ago

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General HCs: Deku squad

A/N: I figured it will be easier to organize the characters this way, enjoy!

Izuku

* He looks and acts super soft n sweet but let's be honest he is not weak. Even ignoring his quirk he has a lot of strength, physically and emotionally. He seeks someone he can trust enough to let his guard down with. Someone who can handle him at his rawest form.

* He has a lot of notebooks focused on certain pro heroes so of course he's going to have a notebook dedicated to you 💕 it'll include pictures, quick scribbles, details on your quirk (if you have one) and unsent love letters.

* He's so so SO over protective of you it's incredible. He knows the LOV are after him and his friends at all times and he knows this includes you. He isn't going to stalk you or demand details on every place you go, but he will want to be able to text you occasionally when you're away. Maybe use Snapchat to send update pics?

* He's a little shy about PDA but if you're big on it he won't mind at all. Hand holding, cheek kissing, all the fun stuff, he'll enjoy with a tomato red blush. He doesn't care who sees as long as nothing bad is said; if someone said something cross about it he would be on the defensive about "they're just being affectionate/you're only angry because you're single!"

Iida

* He is so uptight at times it is outrageous. He wants to represent himself and his family name professionally. But he isn't an advertisement. Sometimes his tie is loosened, sometimes he doesn't bother brushing his hair and sometimes he can't care to wear uniform. He doesn't care if you see him like this, he trusts you to still respect him.

* After his brother was left severely wounded, he's been so much more protective. He doesn't want to ever see you the way he saw his brother. He pushes you to keep up your hard work so he knows you can defend yourself if he isn't there for you.

* Will repeatedly insist to Aizawa that he let you and Iida work together on just about anything. He says your quirks work together well (if you have one) and he wants to train with you. At times Aizawa will allow this, but he still cycles team members to ensure education. Any time you're paired with a guy like Kaminari or God forbid Mineta he has a glare on them the entire time, watching their every move to ensure they don't hurt you, make a move on you, etc.

* He doesn't talk much about his hobbies outside of school but he low key loves to fix vehicles. He uses his knowledge on his quirk to improve performance and speed. If you want he's happy to let you ride with him in one of his cars.

Todoroki

* He is so so polite and mannerful. It's almost unreal how proper he can be. In private however he's just low key vibing to some music in loose clothes and playing a game on his phone.

* He isn't one for pictures and as such doesn't use Snapchat, but if you beg him enough he MIGHT make one. Though he's just going to make it for you and won't interact with anyone else.

* He makes a lot of music playlists in his spare time. He isn't as dedicated as Tokoyami or Jiro with music but he does enjoy it. He certainly has a special playlist dedicated to you full of love songs in varying genres (and songs he totally didn't have commissioned that are totally not based on his feelings for you).

* He is so terribly touch starved. He would never admit it to anyone but he forgets how a genuine hug feels or what another person's hand in his feels like. He isn't up for PDA in any way but in private, he would appreciate a little affection at times, it keeps him sane.

Uraraka

* She is such a sucker for cheesy romance. She craves movie date nights and cheek kisses and sticky notes on her locker with kiss marks. She would talk about you all the time, telling the other girls (and some of the guys) all of the cute things you two do. "We went to the beach and it was so romantic, we collected seashells!"/"Last night they fell asleep on my shoulder and I took so many pictures with so many filters let me show them all-"

* She really doesn't have money to put forward for gifts or dates so she makes up for this with her creativity. She learned origami just to make cute paper swans for you ❣ She'll use her quirk to float you around for a little bit or she'll spend the time to grow a secret garden just to spend time there with you.

* She does cute little hand made cards complete with doodles, stickers and love notes and leaves them on your desk, always signed by "your secret admirer". Everyone knows it's her but she acts coy about it.

* She's totally gone to both Momo and Aoyama asking for love advice to appeal to you, and tries to mix modesty with flashiness to impress you without acting out of personality.

Tsuyu

* She isn't laid back, more so level headed and private. As such she doesn't jump into anything and would want a slow relationship that develops naturally. Just because she wants it slow doesn't mean she isn't dedicated though; from day one she's ride or die.

* She's very passionate about everything she approaches, even if it isn't evident. She puts everything into what she cares about, including you. She'll spend extra time planning dates to go perfectly. She would love for you to go swimming with her.

* She isn't much for words and prefers actions. She's pretty classy too, a person for things like flowers, candies, other nice little things she knows you would like.

* She doesn't have the slightest clue about being cute or romantic and will need pointers. She won't mind PDA as long as it isn't over powering. She does love the idea of visibly trading romantic notes in class.

#mha x reader #izuku x reader #deku x reader #iida x reader #todoroki x reader #shoto x reader #uraraka x reader #ochaco x reader #tsuyu x reader

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blackrose343 · 4 years ago

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Hopeless - Chapter 5: The Consequences

Warnings: Angst, Language and PTSD

I am not a medical professional so I cannot say if this chapter accurately portrays PTSD. I did research it and compared it to what I have written. From what I saw, it looks like the reader is going through something along the lines of PTSD. So to be on the safe side, I decided to put PTSD in the warning.

Devil May Cry - V x Gender Neutral Reader

Fanfic summary: You have been kidnapped by a Soul Snatcher clan that used to reside within Red Grave. They’re torturing you for more information about the one who helped you kill their leader. While being held captive you begin to think about how to escape, how this all started, and if someone will find you. Then again, what would happen if you escape?

Hopeless Masterlist

Sorry this took so long.

Part of the poem V reads is Auguries of Innocence by William Blake.

Present Day

Vergil returned with you to Devil May Cry not too long after the others. Everyone gathered around, excited to finally meet you. (Although, they wished it was under better circumstances.) Nero covered Nico’s mouth, quieting her before she exclaimed her excitement about meeting you. Vergil reminded everyone you’ve been through a lot and needed rest. A lot of it. He also stressed the importance of giving you space once you regain consciousness. Vergil didn’t want you to become overwhelmed by everyone bombarding you at once. You would need time to readjust to your life; to relearn what you have forgotten.

“Try not to wake (Y/N).” Vergil left the room as V approached you. A big sigh of relief left him. You were okay just like Vergil promised you’d be. Lovingly, V stroked your hair. He got onto his knees, then placed a tender kiss on your forehead. A tiny smile graced your lips. To not disturb slumber, V took his leave.

Vergil was sitting outside enjoying the night’s cool breeze. No, he was still trying to figure out how to tell V the decision he made. Ever since he made the decision he has been trying to find the best way to tell V. Vergil knew V wouldn’t take it well. Especially since he didn't know if all or some of your memories were sealed.

It wasn’t hard for V to find Vergil. He recognized Vergil’s agitated sigh anywhere. V’s expression showed Vergil he wanted to know what happened. Vergil chose to explain to V what the healer explained to him. V’s grip on his cane was so tight his knuckles whitened. He was furious Vergil made the decision of you possibly forgetting him. But, he understood why. V expressed to Vergil he wanted you to be okay no matter what. And that’s what Vergil achieved. Before V said anything he shouldn’t, he left.

Slowly, you opened your eyes, then you observed your surroundings. You had no idea where you were. After further inspection, you realized you were in someone’s bedroom. The room more than likely belonged to the man next to you. You studied the sleeping man. A book with a “V” on the cover was on his face. Pale, slender, covered in tattoos and some bruises. You wondered who he was. That thought soon vanished. Silently, you freaked out when you saw a panther by his feet. Even more so when you saw the bird next to him. Does that bird have three pupils?!

“Hey Shakespeare, wake up! (Y/N) is awake.” The bird ruffled his feathers, then flew around the room. The panther lazily yawned then looked up at you. It would have pounced onto you but the man commanded it not to. His sultry voice soothed you yet you don’t know why. You’ve never met him. Or at least you didn't think you did.

Heartbreak filled V’s eyes when you told him you didn’t know who he was. You could tell he was restraining himself from approaching you. V wanted to hold you; to do whatever he could to make you remember him. To make him feel better you mentioned his voice was familiar to you. V’s saddened eyes lightened with hope. He knew you would remember him in due time.

To get an idea of how much has been sealed away, V convinced you to tell him about your life. You briefly babbled about your childhood. Nothing too unusual about it. You glossed over your demon hunting training. You didn't have many friends because of it. You slightly elaborated your demon hunting career. Honestly, you enjoyed it and would never leave it. When you reached recent events, nothing came to mind. All you could remember was meeting with a gentleman for a job. You couldn’t remember the conversation or what the job was.

V meticulously chose his words while explaining what happened to you and how you met him. He also kept some details to himself. You took it as him not wanting to offend you. V did not want to be the reason you regain your horrid memories so soon. He knew you would remember eventually yet he will try to prolong it for as long as possible.

Few Years Later

You were surrounded by darkness. The sound of your breathing was interrupted by an agonizing scream. A familiar scream. You couldn’t remember where you heard it from. But you knew it. You instinctively followed it. The scenery changed as you made your way to the scream. The scenes varied from a bar to chaotic parts of Red Grave. It felt as if you were a part of each scene. As if you were reliving someone’s life.

The screams were muffled when you spotted an out of place door. The same door you’ve been seeing for too many nights. You banged on the door. Its barrier forced you away once again. You stared at the door, cursing at it. Each time you approach the door, the same thing happens. You didn’t know why you let yourself repeat this scenario so many times: banging the door non-stop till your hands bleed and the screaming abruptly stops. You wanted to say it was because you wanted to save whoever was behind the door. For some reason curiosity was more of a reason. You were unsure if you were curious to see who was behind the door or what was happening. There was no doubt you would find out soon. The barrier was significantly weaker than when you first saw it.

The muffled screams were non-stop. Whoever was screaming seemed to be in more pain than before. Desperately, you kicked the door while reassuring whoever was on the other side you were there to help. Nothing seemed to be working. It made no sense. It was a simple door. Nothing special about it besides the barrier. It didn’t matter. You had to get through it.

The door's final attempt to keep you away woke you. Your eyes shot open. Your mind felt hazy, then it was racing. Your heart was beating frantically. Sweat rolled down your body as you sat up. You growled from irritation when you realized you were in your room.

“(Y/N), are you alright? It seemed like you were having another nightmare.” V’s worried voice relaxed you. He softly caressed your face then kissed your forehead.

“The dream with the damned door...like almost every night now…” You were so frustrated with it. At first, you didn’t mind not opening it. You can’t always achieve something on the first attempt. After a couple weeks, well...It started to become frustrating. You tried to stop yourself from going near the door. The temptation of seeing what was behind it grew stronger with each attempt to open it. Not only did it create the most interesting scenarios the closer you got to opening it. It also seemed to be calling you to it. You were too close to give up on it now.

You yawned as you rubbed your temples. Lazily, you kissed V on the cheek then made your way to the bathroom. Whispered curses could be heard through the bathroom door.

V’s eyes followed you until the door blocked his view. His worry for you grows each time you mention the door to him. Ever since you started to dream about that door, you slowly started to become different. When the door made its first appearance, you became more irritable. V thought the irritability was from difficulty sleeping. He read poetry to you before bed but it didn’t always work.

The next thing V noticed was your interactions with everyone changed. Most of the time you would secretly observe them as if you were on a mission. Sometimes, you would barely talk to them or get lost during a conversation. V knew you were listening. It just seemed other stuff was on your mind. Other times you put up your guard when around a crowd of people.

Attempts to discuss your behavioral changes were made. Each time you yelled at V, confirming nothing was wrong. When you realized you were yelling at him, you automatically apologized. You explained to V you had no idea why you were acting the way you were. V would try to get some sort of explanation out of you. Eventually, you explained it was your dream with the door. The weaker the door got, the more realistic the dreams from it felt.

V was certain the door in your dreams was the seal to your memories. V brought up his concerns for you with Vergil the first chance he got. Solemnly, Vergil explained to V once the seal was released it cannot be remade. V was furious but hid it well. Instead of dealing with his feelings about this, he focused on you. Whenever you needed him, he was there. Whenever you were feeling down or anxious, he would do everything he could to make you feel better and safe.

--------------------------

You and V were on a double date with Nero and Kyrie. Kyrie wanted to have dinner at a new restaurant on the other side of Red Grave. The subway ride there was like any other subway ride. Nothing exciting to see. All of you chatted with each other, trying to decide where else to go besides the restaurant. You were excited to see a whole new part of Red Grave. It took the government long enough to start rebuilding it after what happened. Yet for some reason an uneasy feeling started to consume you.

Kyrie and Nero got off the subway with V following behind them. They’re voices faded as they neared the exit. You sat in the subway, staring at the advertisement on the station’s wall. The advertisement seemed familiar to you in a way. Yes, you’ve seen this advertisement in many places but that wasn’t it. It was as if this specific advertisement contained something. You were convincing yourself it was nothing and to catch up with the others. You couldn’t think of any reason as to why you didn’t want to get off the subway. You forced yourself to get off when the last call was announced.

A flash from a faulty light took you to a destroyed version of the subway station. The advertisement you were looking at before was torn. Not from age but from claws. As you turned your head, you saw the subway was no longer on the tracks. It was stuck in the wall on the opposite side of the tracks. Chunks of the station were around you, along with corpses. Broken electrical wires and pipes were above you. You turned your head again. Your eyes focused on the claws about to strike you. Your instincts screamed at you to defend yourself. “Get away from me!”

“V, are you okay?!” Kyrie’s voice rang through your ears. Your eyes shot open. The station was intact. Not one thing was out of place. Nero was helping V get up. V reassured Nero he could get up on his own. You could see a bruise forming on his chest. You were petrified. Nothing could explain what just happened or why. I attacked V? No, that’s not right. I punched something else. I was being attacked.

“V, I’m so sorry. I don’t know what came over me.” You examined V’s chest while apologizing to him over and over. V continued his reassurance. He didn’t want to ruin anyone’s mood, especially yours. He kept quiet about how much your punch hurt him. He gently wiped your guilt ridden tears. He kissed your hand, then led the way to the restaurant. You squeezed his hand, pouring your emotions into it. “I’m so sorry, my love.”

V kept himself composed the entire time. Within himself, V was more than worried. He felt your fear through your punch. Your eyes were filled with fear and yet they had determination. The last time he saw you like this was when you almost died. V had no doubt your memories will be freed soon.

V and Nero froze as you and Kyrie crossed the street. Disbelief filled them. They couldn’t believe the shitty luck today was presenting. The restaurant was on the roof of the building you were held captive at. Nero was spitting out excuses for V to get you away from here. There was no way either of them could let you enter that building, let alone let you eat dinner exactly where you were almost murdered. Before either of them could get to you, they watched Kyrie pull you into the building. Nero muttered “fuck” as he and V made their way to the restaurant.

Nervously, you laughed as Kyrie pulled you to the building. The uneasy feeling from earlier strengthened the closer you got to it. The feeling continued to worsen as you reached the roof. Your stomach was in knots. Your breathing started to become shaky. Your mind screamed for you to get away. You couldn't understand what was going on with you. You noticed Nero and V were a bit hesitant about coming to this place too. So maybe it wasn’t just you freaking out over nothing.

You wrapped a few ice cubes in napkins then placed it on V’s chest. You kept apologizing to him. You couldn’t understand why he wasn’t mad at you. All you saw was his concern for you. You wanted to explain to V what happened earlier. Just not with an audience. Everyone would think you lost your damn mind.

You couldn't stop yourself from figuring out why the events from earlier happened. Your mind conjured up so many reasons. You tried to figure out which one was a plausible reason. You didn’t want V to hear it was because of your damned dreams again. You’ve been using them as an excuse for too long. You could only conclude work may be starting to become too much. Maybe you needed a vacation. Who knows?

“(Y/N)”? You looked at Nero like a deer in headlights. Was he reading your mind? You weren’t sure. He was giving you a questioning look. Sheepishly, you apologized for not listening then asked him to repeat himself. You found out everyone was discussing the changes made when this part of town was rebuilt.

“What happened here? I know the Qliphoth was here. It just seems something else happened too.” Nero threw V into the spotlight. V’s explanation was vague. It barely gave you the answer you were looking for. You gave Kyrie a look, silently asking her if V was hiding something from you. Kyrie’s reply was a subtle shrug. She had no idea what was going on.

Dinner continued normally. It was as if everything from earlier never happened. Nero and Kyrie acting lovey dovey. You and V were trying not to tease them. It scared you how easily everyone was able to push something like that aside.

V glanced at you, looking for any sign that you were well. Ever since you entered the restaurant he noticed you were shaking. He knew you were attempting to hide it. The shaking appeared so strong, everyone thought you were freezing. He noticed you barely touched your food even though you claimed you were starving earlier. V thought it was best if you and him went home after dinner.

You and everyone else walked along the edge of the roof to exit the restaurant. V used his cane to deviate your wandering eyes to him. He made absolutely sure you didn’t look below or beyond. He had to. He wanted to prevent you from feeling worse than you already are. He feared you would remember what happened here.

Kyrie managed to find enough room to take a couple of pictures. Nero tried to get out of it by saying he didn’t look decent enough. V attempted to convince Kyrie to wait since the restaurant was crowded. Kyrie asked what was the harm of taking a couple pictures. It’s been too long since Kyrie got to take group photos. Also, the sunset would be the perfect background. The guys sighed in defeat.

You and Kyrie gushed over the pictures as you continued to leave the restaurant. Nero pleaded with Kyrie to wait until she was out of the restaurant to look at them. Kyrie showed Nero the picture she was currently looking at. Nero made a quick comment, then placed his hands on her shoulders. You and V watched Nero guide Kyrie. It was entertaining, even impressive. Nero had Kyrie dodge everyone coming through the door.

Your laughter at Nero and Kyrie was abruptly interrupted. Someone forced their way between you and V causing you to slam into the railing. As you situated yourself, you caught a glimpse of a black haired figure below. For just a second, the figure looked like a beaten V. You knew V wasn’t down there, he was next to you. You couldn’t stop yourself from checking. You saw V, then someone strangely familiar looking at the table behind him. Briefly, you tried to remember how you knew him.

“Are you ok-tell me who killed Carmilla!” The calm voice evolved into an aggressive demand. You couldn’t figure out who was talking to you. The demand was repeated. You kept quiet. You had no idea who Carmilla was. You don’t remember any mission involving anyone with that name. The harshness of the demand escalated until it evolved into yelling in your ear. You covered your ears but it sounded like it was coming from all over. Even from right next to you.

“I’m not telling you shit. Give up.” The haughty voice was yours, but you didn’t move your lips. The sound of powerful strikes, along with your whimpers followed. Frantically, you searched for help. Nothing. No one. It was just you and the one asking about Carmilla. You closed your eyes preparing for the next strike. You started to take deep breaths. It was the only thing you believed would put everything back into place.

Few people asked if V wanted them to call an ambulance. V persuaded everyone to leave you be. He reassured them you would be fine and needed to be left alone. He knew the best thing for you was to have as much space as possible. To have as much time as you need to gather yourself. He knew you needed him too, but there was no way to physically calm you without possibly making the situation worse.

You stood still, gripping the rail for dear life. V studied the rhythm of your deep breaths and heaving chest. It was obvious you were trying to calm yourself. Even more obvious you were currently reliving your time while held captive here. Nightmarish thoughts raced through V’s mind. Nothing he conjured could be compared to what you actually went through. He wanted to understand but couldn’t come close to. In hopes of helping you and calming himself, V recited poetry from his book. “To see a world in a grain of sand…”

“WHO KILLED CARMILLA?! TELL ME! TELL...poor souls...dwell in night...does…” Softly, the harsh demands transformed into V’s poetic voice. You completely focused on V’s voice, hoping he wouldn’t stop. The man in front of you morphed into V. Tears cascaded your face as you tightened your closed eyes. You begged V to stay with you. You wanted nothing more than for this madness to end.

Gingerly, you opened your tear ridden eyes. You were back at the restaurant. For the most part, everything was back to normal. It was darker and people were failing to not steal glances at you and V. V was still standing next to you. He gently closed his book, then turned to you. Concern and worry were radiating off of him. V pulled you into a hug as soon as he saw your tears. You gripped V’s hand for dear life as he led you out of the restaurant.

As soon as V opened the door, Griffon flew around the house. You headed to your bedroom with Shadow behind. You collapsed on the bed, burying your head in your pillow. You released the anxiety and fear you have been holding. You screams and cries could be heard throughout your home. To help calm yourself you cuddled with Shadow, letting her fur catch your tears. Shadow’s purring was the perfect lullaby to fall asleep to, especially after today.

“...H-HE-LP!...HELP!...He-help...” Those pleas were all the encouragement you needed to continue to get through the door. Nothing was going to stop you this time. You mustered your strength then delivered one final strike against the door. The barrier dissipated, as it pushed you away one last time. The door became ajar.

Regret consumed you as soon as you stepped through the door. A blinding flash brought you to an abandoned building. Someone similar looking to the man from the restaurant was interrogating someone who looked like you. The person being interrogated was severely beaten. It was obvious the man was doing whatever he pleased. No one was around to stop him. It wouldn’t be long until the person was dead. In an attempt to stop him, you jumped on his back. He threw you across his back. Somehow you merged with the one you were trying to save.

The man deeply slashed your abdomen. He was merciless. It felt as if he was never going to stop until he got what he wanted. Not once did his sinister smile disappear. If anything, it grew with each of your screams, your pleas. You screamed for help but no one came.

The strike to your head was excruciating. You gripped your head, screaming, as your mind released every single memory that was sealed away. Meeting V at the grocery store. Tracking Carmilla. Working with V. Your fight with Carmilla. Your captivity. All of them. It was too much for your mind to process at once.

V raced to your bedroom as soon as he heard you scream. Quickly, he studied the room and determined nothing was amiss. V attempted to loosen the ironclad grip you had on your head. V winced from pain when you grabbed his hands. It was possible you may have sprained his finger or two. V didn’t care. He stayed with you, reminding you how strong you are and how you can get through this.

Once you were calm V asked if you were hurt. Hysterically, you described your nightmare. The torture, the pain. The rush of other dreams within it. It felt so real to you. As if it happened to you as you dreamt it. V tried to explain that even though you were attacked in your dream it doesn’t mean the attacks actually happened. You were having none of it. You described every attack explicitly while tracing each one on your body.

V tried his best to calm you. Nothing he did relieved you. Not one bit. Your mind was frantically processing the memories it released. You couldn’t think straight. V tried to hug you but you pushed him away. His hurt expression made you feel worse, but you had no choice. You needed to stay away from him. You weren’t sure if the one in front of you was V or a Soul Snatcher; friend or enemy.

“Who the fuck are you?” Shakily, you cocked your gun, indicating you weren’t playing around. Shadow immediately placed herself between you and V. Griffon babbled about you not recognizing V or them. You didn’t care. You just needed to know what was going on.

“(Y/N) put the gun down and I’ll answer all of your questions.” Your defensive aggressiveness from before your memories were sealed has returned. There was no way V could weasel his way to convince you nothing was going on. To V this situation felt like he was reliving his very first encounter with you.

Your eyes narrowed with suspicion. Would he attack once you lower your gun? Will he actually tell the truth? What if this was a Soul Snatcher? Too many questions raced through your mind. You had no idea what part of yourself to listen to. Fuck it. You needed answers. “Lie or attack, I’ll make you regret it.”

For your sake V had to prove he wasn’t a Soul Snatcher. He recalled when he gave you the ring you were wearing. Hearing your argument made V realize it was pointless to retell the time you spent together. He was determined to prove he wasn’t a Soul Snatcher. No matter what. The only thing he could think of that a Soul Snatcher couldn’t do was summon Nightmare. Doing so caused quite a scare for your neighbors.

Your neighbors panic soon turned into silence. Irritated tension was all either of you could feel. Both of you wanted to say something. Neither of you knew what to say or where to start. So you both stayed quiet, trying to figure out what to say. The silence was unbearable for Griffon but he managed to stay quiet. God knows what either of you would do if Griffon said anything.

You took one deep breath, then decided to tell V everything about your time in captivity. The torture, the Soul Snatchers involved, your thoughts. Everything. You turned yourself away from V when you started crying. V attempted to reach over to comfort you but you indicated for him to stay where he was. You didn’t want to be touched by anyone.

V wanted to hold you. He wanted to do anything and everything he could to remind you you’re safe with him. But he fought himself from doing anything that would make you uncomfortable. He knew you would fulfill your promise if he did anything you saw as a threat.

If V had to be honest, he didn’t want to explain what happened when he found you. Besides the fact he was like you; not wanting to show weakness or vulnerability. He isn’t proud of how he reacted. That night was a tornado to him. It was fast and destructive yet it was a blur. Still. It was no excuse to not tell you. You told him everything. Now it was his turn. V sucked it up and reluctantly told you what happened.

You listened to V, unsure how to take it. At first, you were terrified to hear you almost died. (You remembered you made the choice but it was frightening to think about.) Soon fright turned into anger. You blamed V for having your memories sealed. Not long after, you questioned if being with V was the right thing for you. You even questioned if you would be with V after everything that happened.

V sat across from you, waiting for you to say anything. He was aware you were angry. He knew you would need time to process everything. It could take a long time, but V was more than willing to do whatever he could to help you. Except for one thing.

“I-I...I don’t know how to take in all of this...I-I think I need to sp-spend some time away from y-you. To absorb everything I just remembered..a-and what we just talked about...I also have to think of what’s be-est for me.” V’s heart broke in two. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He was at a loss for words. He was unable to argue with you.

“Don’t.” You froze. V’s hand was hovering above yours. Without touching you, he guided your hand to lower itself, then release the clothing you were holding. Was V going to convince you to stay with him? You couldn’t tell. You knew he was going to say something. He was close to you but stepped away. “You should stay here. I’ll leave.”

You couldn’t believe what you just heard. Why would he leave? You should be the one leaving. You whipped your head around to see if V was really leaving. He was. Already he grabbed his bag, then his book. It didn’t take long for him to gather the rest of what he needed. Once he was packed, he approached you. You anticipated him doing some gesture to say goodbye. Your heart broke when he did nothing except say his goodbye. With each step V took away from you, you felt more alone than ever before. When he was completely gone you believed you made the wrong choice.

#devil may cry #devil may cry v #DMC #dmc v #v devil may cry #v x reader #dmc v x reader #dmc5 v x reader #dmc vitale #vitale x reader #vitale

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aknosde · 4 years ago

Text

I have a lot of thoughts about Percy’s junior year because Rick is stupid and literally forgot about an entire year of Percy’s life. I also made the executive decision that this is the year Percy backslides (but can you really call it backsliding if he never worked through the trauma?) Without further ado

with a little mist they patch up Percy’s extended absence but decide it’s better if he doesn’t go back to Goode. He doesn’t really care because he didn’t have any friends there besides Rachel, this is where he goes to AHS (literally the only thing I know about TOA, and the rest of it will be ignored)

He’s not going to school with Annabeth because she said senior year together, so she’s still in California, which he’s thankful for so he doesn’t have to feel like he’s disappointing her

Originally he had been reported as missing, but now that he’s back it raises too many questions (this is where they use the mist) so it’s resulted in a really weird transcript that makes it very unclear if he actually finished his sophomore year (he did it online over the summer, and he did pretty well too)

As always he is singled out as ‘the weird kid’. This is because he only wears the longer versions of the uniform (even when it’s really hot out), has a problem with staring, and the grey streak in his hair (ignoring cannon for this one)

He makes approximately two friends (kinda?) and all of the popular kids hate him

There’s this ‘professional administrative counselor and student consultant’ who isn’t an actual counselor and thinks Percy is hella sus. A lot of its because Percy’s transcript and record, but basically he tries to not let ‘bad kids’ into AHS and he wants Percy to leave so the school’s reputation doesn’t get tarnished

Some of the teachers are nice but a lot of them are ableist

Due to that and Percy’s severely under diagnosed PTSD, anxiety, and depression, his grades really fall, but he doesn’t tell anyone

Chemistry is his favorite class and chemistry and history are the only classes he does well in.

This one popular kid who is on the football team or something really likes to physically bully people and in Percy’s attempt not to reveal how strong he is he just subs in for the kids who used to receive a regular beating instead of fighting back

At one point he accidentally catches a punch on reflex (while tons of people are watching, mind you) and freaks out, blah blah blah, that fight ends up with his hand severely broken in multiple locations

BUT he doesn’t like going to the hospital/doctor’s/nurse’s because those are the people who ask a lot of questions about his scars and old injuries and such, so he just walks around for like four hours with a broken hand

(insert my Percy is ambidextrous head cannon here, which comes into play)

eventually his (kinda)friends make him go to the nurse and it’s just straight up not a good time for anyone. Paul has to pick him up. He has to go to the ER. This is when he really starts lying to his parents because he doesn’t want them to know about the fights

He’s kinda all over the place on who he’s talking to, which he feels guilty about, but he just doesn’t have the energy to talk to people who knew him before all this because it’s harder to fake being that happy again (even though he wasn’t that happy even then)

Which brings me to something a bit happier, every Friday he visits Camp Jupiter. No matter what. He started it about a month after the war, it keeps him connected with Hazel and Frank and some other people he was friendly with, but the new thing is Reyna

It takes a bit to get through all of the stuff between them, but they end up becoming really good friends, to the extent that she, Hazel, and Frank become the sole people that he confides in. (Reyna knows that they’re special, but the other two don’t)

There is definitely a big fight he has with Sally in his second semester, and he shows up at Reyna’s quarters, it’s 11 pm, she opens the door wordlessly and he spends the weekend at CJ.

Reyna’s also the person he talks to most about Gabe. He has a lot of built up stuff there and she works through some residual feelings towards her dad too.

He and Nico are in a lot of contact during this year, with varying degrees of tension. They start off really well, but as Percy falls further back it gets a really weird vibe because he still has a whole thing about protecting Nico. Basically Percy’s not good at being vulnerable right now. But they do get better and eventually develop a sibling like relationship.

Talking about sibling like relationships: Hazel! She’s amazing. Due to the Friday visits and her and Percy already being super close she starts calling him her brother really quickly and he picks up on it immediately. She’s probably the person he’s most honest too, and they spar a lot.

His and Annabeth’s relationship is kinda weird too. They both still really love each other, and they talk a lot, she starts working through some of her issues and he’s really good about being there and helping her, but he’s also really good at hiding his own problems around her. (This is a new development, she could read him until he went missing or Tartarus, I haven’t decided)

He becomes really spotty at communication. Sometimes he won’t text back for a week, and he used to be really good at getting back to people. This is the only thing Annabeth has evidence of. The rest is just a feeling of off-ness so she can’t really see that something’s wrong with him.

Panic attacks and breakdowns become supper common for him. Usually at least one a day, but he’s good about hiding it. However his powers, tied to his emotions, start going haywire and that’s really difficult to hide, especially at school.

He has a really bad panic attack during chemistry one day and his friends find him in the bathroom and try to get the nurse and get him to go home. It wasn't very pretty.

He looses so much sleep that it rivals Annabeth ‘I stay up ‘till 3 for fun’ Chase

Also becomes a low-key vigilante? Not really, but he does stop several robberies and muggings and its just the right number to look a little suspicious but also not.

during this whole ordeal he’s spending a lot of time at the school’s pool. At first there isn’t much swimming because he’s still afraid of drowning/suffocation, but Reyna’s just like “Well if you became a better swimmer that wouldn’t be as big of a problem” and he rolls with it.

Part of his whole healing thing is learning more about competitive swimming and talking with the swim coach. And of course he gets really good at it. Sometime during his second semester he does end up joining the team.

It’s past competition season but the coach thinks he needs it so he just,,, joins

He actually gets along with most of the team REALLY well, and around this time he works on strengthening his relationship with his (kinda)friends, not his actual friends.

Honestly I’ve been considering turning these into a fic, so maybe when I finish Peanut m&m’s there will be another multi chapter in my future.

#percy jackson #yeah ik a lot of this is sad #but it just be like that sometime #wow look at me write stuff when im the only one who cares about it #max.txt

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