#and the repercussions of neglecting kids' emotions

[routerdisconnect]

There's always something so sobering about these pre-Smiler videos. Like, oh yeah, he's not a monster. Just a kid stuck perpetuating a cycle of violence.

And now we even have a name for him. Nice to finally meet you, Everette.

Also, the rifle in his dad's closet is really concerning. It could be that the mom's not in the picture because he killed her like I've seen suggested, but it also worries me to think that a bullied kid knew when and how he could get a hold of it... If the :O guys really are his "friends", then maybe that's how they ended up like that.

[kelin-is-writing]

Some of you… Guys… who lack empathy and overall emotional intelligence, kinda love to run your mouth waaaaaay too much and end up saying things that make 0 sense. This fandom is also waaaaay too comfortable with victim blaming Rei and Touya for everything that has happened to the Todorokis while Endeavor gets away with it, for no reason at all at that.

“OhHh BuT hE fElLs SoRrY fOr EvErYtHiNg He DiD”

I’m going to be completely honest with you all: I don’t give a flying fuck that he’s now swimming in his sorrows. He better be drowning in them actually. Because there’s a consequence to everything we do. ALWAYS. Besides, if he was going to feel ohh so sorry about what he did to his family, then he simply shouldn’t have done none of it to begin with.

He can’t go on fill his child like a balloon the way he did and then expect said balloon to not explode after he had blew way too much air into it. That’s egotistical.

You also can’t buy your wife (who was still a minor at the time), have her pop out kids like she’s some kind of kids machine for your greedy needs and even force two of them on her before you go ahead and start physically and mentally abusing her, then expect for there to not be any repercussions on your family’s relationships.

Blaming a kid who got his whole life and being manipulated and then gaslighted by his own father, who remembered he indeed had an eldest son only when it was too late, and a woman who was sold to a greedy, egotistical, egocentric, narcissistic and selfish man when she was a kid who had one option worse than the other (We all know that the Himuras ain’t any more sane than Endeavor) is so weird guys, please.

Touya was treated like a human weapon by his own father, who as soon as he saw no more use in him and his quirk just casted the kid aside (which was before Natsuo was even conceived btw). So where’s the favoritism in this? Where? Because I can’t see it anywhere, no matter how hard I look for it. And why is that? Because there’s none. So you lot can stop being delusional about this topic, ‘cause it doesn’t stand up not even if you force it. You can’t erase the manipulation (into making him think he could become the #1 Hero, surpass All Might for his father and be the strongest) and then the gaslighting (telling him he can’t do any of that anymore since his quirk won’t permit it, telling Touya he should give up on his dream because it will never happen after Endeavor ingrained all that into his mind) just like that, then call all of this favoritism. Do you all even know what favoritism is? Or you just find out words on the Internet, ignore completely their meaning, and run with them blindly? Because I am bewildered by how some of you guys be coming on here to just say anything… Touya got failed by his parents and his siblings, because he was ignored and neglected by his siblings as much as he was by his parents (Shoto excluded because Endeavor was busy grooming him this time around) but none of you guys even call them out on Touya going through all of that alone, for some reason, while being okay with what Natsuo and Fuyumi told him as soon as they got into the battlefield. Like they ain’t bad siblings too and Endeavor wasn’t the reason they all lost each others as a family, literally do not piss me off I beg. I’m firmly convinced some of you guys pick and choose who you defend in the Todofam, but like… Everything you guys say makes no sense? It just shows me that some of you lack, as I said at the very beginning of the post, empathy and emotional intelligence. Which is sad.

You all can say “We’ve all gone through hard times alone” as much as you want, but that is not normal at all, towards any time of relationship but especially towards family. It’s not healthy and it can hurt a person a lot, making them close in themselves and when it starts to hurt from the inside the moment you stop getting all of the pent up stress inside it’s no good at all. And for the record, Touya (or just anyone) venting or opening himself to Natsuo about what he’s going through it’s not trauma dumping. It’s never trauma dumping if you genuinely care for someone (clarifying this before any of you emotional ignorant peoples come at me about this 🫠). So Natsuo and Fuyumi being in all of this too shouldn’t be used as an excuse for pushing their brother’s concerns and feelings under the rug, families are supposed to go through these type of situations as a family if they want to keep living happily as such, but they remembered this after one of them died and their youngest sibling was being still raised as a fighting machine by their abusive father. So, mind you, but they all (except Shoto) owe Touya some big ass apologies written down on a letter with tears if I gotta be honest.

As for Rei; she became a mother young, went through a lot all alone because mind you Mr. Husband was waaaaay too busy trying to groom their son into a Hero machine that could beat someone he is incapable of beating (Because a nullity will always be a nullity after all, even when becoming a #1 after the former #1 retirement, if they insist on projecting ofc) to help and guide his young and inexperienced wife through a wedding like theirs. How was she supposed to not lose her mind after being sold, neglected, beaten up, verbally abused, forced to pop out kids like a gachapon, seeing her fourteen years old son lose himself into the void because of his father and then he dies too, without never getting love nor affection from his father (the one he looked up to) the way a kid wants, needs and is supposed to get which is something I’m 100% sure led her to depression. You all diminish too much the grief a mother feels when she loses her kids. There’s much a mother, a human, can handle; and for Rei it got to a point where every trace of Endeavor disgusted her so much her whole body rejected his entire existence leading her to a mental breakdown. One that was due to come earlier if we think about it, but she was strong enough for her remaining kids until she couldn’t do it anymore. What she did to Shoto is wrong, I know and I acknowledge, but she’s a traumatized person who sees her abuser everywhere she goes because, unfortunately, it’s the person she was forced to marry. She apologized to Shoto right away, because she was still mature and sane enough to recognize her mistake right when it happened.

But Endeavor’s ego is so big that it took him his eldest son nearly blowing everyone up and becoming a walking torch before he finally apologized to the whole family for his wrong doings of 10 years prior. Which is crazy to me.

So I’m gonna need you all to stop erase Endeavor’s wrongdoings and try to gaslight the whole fandom into blaming Rei and Touya for the mistakes of someone else, because they’re the biggest victims in all of this shit.

That being said, hope y’all get well soon 🫶🏻💜

[lovelykhaleesiii]

Hello!! I was wondering if I may ask an aemond x reader request where his kid was getting bullied and then eventually gets hurt. And it can be modern aemond or not. Thank you !! Your writing is incredible !

Dad!Aemond does things to me, he’d be so protective of his bubs. I may have gotten carried away…

But thank you for your kind words anon x Hope you enjoy!

Lead by Example.

PAIRING: Modern!Aemond Targaryen x fem!Reader.

WORDS: 1,250.

WARNINGS: mention of bullying, fluff, swearing.

There was no doubt in your mind that your son was not okay. At the mere age of 7 years, you’d already noticed a palpable shift in his behaviour, from the happy, bright boy that he was to now isolating himself from the rest of the family. He had a tiresome, sad look on his face as the days wept by. You found that he’d stopped engaging with the toys that he so desperately would beg for your husband to buy, losing interest in his hobbies that he shared with Aemond and your eldest.

And you were not alone in observing this. Aemond and yourself, had been made aware of the bullying your youngest son had been enduring at school. The teachers had arranged for you both to come in a few weeks prior to the school, as you discussed the ongoing torment your poor son had been going through, which he rarely made a commotion of. Your son was much like his father in some ways, meek and quiet, he was too to himself, and would push away his emotions to the side as though they were nothing.

To your knowledge, you knew that Aemond also had a troubled childhood. Unable to fit in like most boys, he struggled with himself for a while, and always sought the approval of others, outdoing everyone, even himself at times. He did not take this lightly.

“Who are they?” Aemond snapped, his fists curling tightly as he tried to pace himself.

“They are boys just a year above Luke’s grade. We understand your concern, although you must know we are handling the situation currently. We are getting in touch with the boys’ parents to discuss certain consequences.”

“That’s not enough-” Aemond hissed.

“Let me chat with them,” He urged, you snapped your direction towards him glaring, as your hand reached over gently towards Aemond’s in an attempt to calm him.

He’d managed to catch your attention, as you pulled away from the evidence of your son’s torment. Terrible notes being passed around, degrading Luke and everything about him. Yes, he was smaller than an average boy of his age, and he was much more introverted and kinder than most. But these were qualities you clung to about your son, he was precious to you.

“Aemond please- The school will do what they can for now. Is there any possible way we could keep the boys separate from Luke. Just so he can ease himself back in?” You politely suggested.

“That would be a little too difficult, unfortunately. However, we can definitely urge the teachers on duty to keep an eye on Luke, to prevent anything from escalating or starting. In the meantime, we encourage you both to support him, we have a counsellor in the school if Luke wishes to talk to someone.”

****

“This isn’t good, Y/N… This isn’t enough.” Aemond uttered furiously, on the drive back home. By the stoic look on his face as you’d left the administration office, you knew he was far from satisfied of the school’s response to their son’s situation.

“Aemond, I know sweetheart-” Your hand reaches to caress his hair, as Aemond stiffens his grip on the wheel.

“But they’re on top of it. Once they get in touch with the other parents, repercussions will be laid. We just need to be there for Luke okay?”

He remained silent during the ride home, and you gave Aemond his space. This topic was delicate to him, as he too grew up with constant bullying. He was neve good enough, always pushed aside. No one should ever have to feel the neglect that he’d gone through, so you knew it pained him to know his own son was having a taste of the life he’d tried so desperately to erase.

****

“Aemond, please don’t freak out baby.”

“What? What’s wrong, are you okay? Are the kids okay?”

Despite your helpless warning, the panic set in Aemond’s tone. He’d just returned home from work, and you had the responsibility to tell him of an incident at school regarding Luke.

The phone call you’d received during day, made your heart sank like no other. “It seems Luke was caught up in a violent brawl on the school yard, he’s stable and settled right now in the nurses’ office, although he may have a broken nose. We urgently advise you or your husband to collect Luke, and seek medical attention.”

You hang up the phone without hesitation, and bolted.

As you hastily were directed to where Luke was crouching over the chair, his little, trembling hand gripping his bloodied nose.

“Mum!” He sniffled, his arms instinctively wrapping over you as he embraced you warmly.

“Oh baby, keep the pressure on your nose till the bleeding stops, okay.” You redirected his hand.

“My love, tell me what happened. We’re going to the doctors, you tell me everything.”

“We’ll be on top of this Y/N, rest assured those responsible for your son’s injury will be held greatly responsible and punished as befitting.”

You simply nodded and thanked the principal, before taking Luke’s bag over your shoulder, as your free hand held his shoulder, guiding him to the exit.

****

“Aemond, the doctor said he is fine. Not a broken nose, just some slight trauma that should heal in the next month. But please, don’t freak out okay.”

Aemond stormed past you, into the living room where Luke had been laying on the couch, mindlessly watching his favourite cartoon, where you told him to rest.

“Dad!” He yelled, trying to stand before Aemond stopped him.

“No, no you rest my boy. Who did this to you?” Aemond questioned, as his large hand cupped his son’s face, some bruising beginning to set against the skin of his tender nose. Luke looked up towards you carefully, trying to gather your approval of what to say.

“Aemond, it was the same boys. But please, the school are dealing with this as we speak-”

Aemond sprung back up, before turning towards you, an angry look on his face.

“Don’t give me that bullshit, Y/N. You really believe that?”

“Language, Aemond!” You hiss, turning your gaze from Luke to Aemond before gripping him to guide him into the hallway.

“Y/N, they’ve taken their time, and look what’s come of it. I’m going to speak to the parents myself. I’ll handle it how I see fit.”

“Really, Aemond? You think intimidating them will be the best way to go about this? What about the example you’re setting for our son?”

“That he can and should defend himself by any means, yes.”

You give him a defeated look, rolling your eyes.

“Look, I’ll speak to the principal to arrange an meeting with the other parents and we can express our concerns there. No need to escalate matters or do anything you’ll regret. Please, Aemond.”

Your hands remained gripped to his sides, your eyes widened to plea. You knew Aemond could never deny those doe eyes.

His hesitant “fine” would suffice.

“But I’m teaching him self defence, we’re putting him into a combat sport. No son of mine will ever be tormented like that again.”

You smile weakly, nodding your head in agreement. You knew Aemond’s intentions meant well, and you wanted Luke to gain some confidence. His father was an outstanding example of how well he turned out after what he’d endured and you knew the same was possible for Luke, so long as you remained a family.

[the-monkey-ruler]

I was reading how the gods have to suppress their emotions and feelings because it was dangerous for them to get carried away by them and it could have consequences for everyone, so Erlang doing that to his sister was more that he saw that she was being selfish and probably giving a warning to other gods not to do the same?

I mean, I definitely think that could be a part of it but personally, I think that Erlang believes that he was in the right because firsthand knew what it was like to be a demigod and he wouldn’t wish that upon anyone. Like he and Sanseng Mu saw their father die, their brother killed just for being born, their entire home destroyed, and the mother imprisoned for her crimes while they had to run away. They were on their own for so long and it wasn’t until they found an immortal master to train them did Erlang put all his energy into saving his mother and fighting heaven.

He knew firsthand what it means for an immortal to break the rules of heaven, and how it affects those around them. I don’t wanna put Yuanhua as the bad guy, and while she did deserve love, she did put her children in danger for the circumstances of their birth. Her kids are the innocents in this case who had to face punishment for a choice they didn’t have. I like to think that Erlang Shen was probably more likely traumatized by the whole experience, and instead of processing it in a healthy manner, he more internalized that what heaven did to them was needed in order for them to live. His family's death couldn't be just a tragedy for him else everything he has done up to that point would be in vain and the death of his family would just be a tragic death. So instead, he always tries to justify it in his mind to give reason to the tragedy and that it had to serve a purpose to make sense.

Erlang Shen sees his sister doing the same thing as the mother did and with another child who might go through the same process they witnessed. I think that he definitely thought of Sanseng Mu as selfish in the sense that she would put her own child through what they had to deal with. He had no hope she could get away with this considering heaven had already found out and he knew what was going to happen. And maybe he stepped in himself… just to prevent that. That he stepped in because he knew that someone had to put his sister under the mountain and if someone had to it could at least be him… and that he could at least save his brother-in-law and his nephew. They would have to be without a wife and mother, but he is losing her sister as well. He knows that Sanseng Mu can’t escape the punishment of heaven and that he is upset that she would put herself in the situation when they have both gone through the same things. But while Sanseng Mu was able to process what happened to them to find love and take risks to secure her happiness while Erlang Shen still holds some kind of resentment for his own creation. But he understands that the punishment should at least just be on his sister and not her family like their father and brother were.

Yuanhua and Sanseng Mu are goddesses and as such they have a responsibility to heaven, which they neglected when they abandoned their post to start families. These are meant to be romantic tragedy stories, and I think that they do that very nicely but also they are family tragedies as well. Erlang Shen continues the cycle of his family going through this kind of tragedy, but also the dangers that are brought from abandoning your duties also come into play. God’s are supposed to suppress the emotions because they shouldn’t make decisions out of anger or desire, but that they are to have rational and orderly choices when it comes to the heavens. But this also means that pleasure cannot take over gods because that creates bias as well. There was a lot of danger if gods let their desires rule them because they are so powerful and I believe that they are so strict because any repercussion or mistake they could make would affect the earth and therefore humans on a monumental level. Gods cannot afford to make mistakes when even spilling a cup in heaven could be a hurricane on earth.

[dahliadear]

Tbh I think the twins being Aemond's work too, esp knowing the future repercussions that this brings up (like fighting Daemon as revenge for Jaehaerys). Most people neglect the other side of the equation being Helaena, a child bride who gave birth at a young age too. It's weird to see that most argue in behalf of Aemond while ignoring Helaena who is just a year older than he is. Really, why is Helaena and her age always ignored in these conversations? We also already know Aemond was SA'd or forced to have sexual relations at a young age, so I don't think anyone should be splitting hairs at the morality of him being with Helaena around the same time. I prefer the idea that both of them found agency with each other. It also doesn't really matter bec age seems to be of relative importance to the showrunner and writers in this series.

You make good points. Do I, personally, ship/want to ship children? Definitely not. But as a survivor of CSA, shit happens. Sometimes, as a young person, you *do* find agency with another young person. Unfortunately, I think people ignore Helaena's age because in Fantasy Medieval Times, people use the tired "if she's old enough to bleed, she's old enough to breed" bullshit that has RARELY ever flown in the real world. I could go on a rant about how few times marriages were actually consummated before the bride was of age. Some political marriages happened at a young age, yes, but the couple were kept seperate until they were both older. There's a whole list going around of how old English Kings' mothers were when they were born. In the 19th century, in some places women marrying without their parents knowledge or consent had to sign an affidavit saying they were over TWENTY-ONE. But for some reason, people use fantasy as an excuse to plead "well SOMEONE did it... Well in SOME cultures it's okay..." So if men can abuse fictional girls with their fucked up fantasies, I think the scope of the Lense of Scrutiny should be a bit narrower. I am guilty of glossing over the canon age of female characters because it's already written and there's nothing I can do about it. There's also a lot of debate online about whether fiction should be used to gauge the writer's morality. Are we, as creators and consumers, guilty of the fantasy? Can we not use the act of creation as an exploratory outlet, or must we only produce thematically poignant material that upholds and spreads certain principles? Is anyone truly hurt by the fiction itself, or is it by readers who abuse the text?

Anyway. If I had taken the time to think about how Aemond would have been 13 at the time of their conception, would I have accepted that headcanon? Probably not. I just thought "what if those kids were his" in general and it kind of stuck.

Game of Thrones in general is pretty fucked up. Is it illegal to picture something a little fucked up in a different way, making characters happy? No! Does this sort of thing happen in real life? Yep! Does it make the story even more dramatic and twisted and emotional and compelling? Absolutely. Headcanon to your heart's content.

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

TW: emotional abuse, gaslighting

Hello. This is the anon who asked, “Does a person’s perceptions define whether or not another person’s actions are abusive? “ The person perceiving the abuse is/was my child, and the ‘abuser’ is/was my mother. My mother lived with us for several years but we’ve now made it clear she’s unwelcome here (she has her own home— we didn’t leave her stranded!). My husband thinks I am too hard on my mother and plenty of kids hate their grandparents and that anything my mom said was because of her generation. To be honest, I didn’t perceive my mom as abusive. She does go very cold when she thinks someone might not like her, and she generally assumes children will not like her, but to my eyes she was more avoidant (which did hurt my kid in its own way) than abusive.

My kid has trouble warming up to people if he doesn’t feel secure around them (same as my mother, but she is the adult!), and has selective mutism, so my mom naturally (for her) assumed that my child thought she was a yucky old person. One thing that was very strange, though, is that my mother met one of my kid’s friends and opened right up with them and gives/gave praise and hugs. That kid became the favorite (grandma did not like any of the other friends much).

I feel sorry that I didn’t realize sooner that my mother was hurting my kid, and take decisive steps to stop it. Most of the time I don’t want to see my mother, but as I mentioned, my husband thinks that is just silliness. He thinks our child should have just had a tougher skin and discounted Grandma’s attitude. I think people are as sensitive as they ARE, and what hurts, hurts. But there is that doubt in my mind that Grandma did not mean any harm and it is bad of me to call her an abuser, even in my own head.

I am just seeking some clarity about this, and some advice possibly on how to proceed. Tysm

Hey anon,

I'm sorry to hear about what happened.

It sounds like it was right to have her leave. I don't think you're too hard on her and I don't think it's fair to simply expect your child to grow thicker skin. It's important, especially as children, to have as many positive experiences as possible to stimulate their growth and development. Being noticed and appreciated is major.

I just want to say that "grow thicker skin" is very similar to "well, in the REAL world..." because both expect people to accept cruelty. Yes, there is a lot of cruelty in the world, but it doesn't mean that we should just accept it or let it happen. It's completely understandable to want to protect your child. I think the sentiment that your husband shared is reminiscent of toxic masculinity, acting like sensitivity and expressing pain is unacceptable.

It sounds like your mom might struggle with nuance in terms of interpreting how other people feel about her. It's a bit self-fulfilling to behave like children will not like her. She may not be explicitly abusive, but neglectful behavior can count.

She may not have meant anything by it but intention doesn't trump impact. In other words, just because someone means well doesn't mean they aren't responsible for the repercussions of their actions, or that the person they hurt doesn't have any reason to be upset. They've still caused harm regardless of whether they intended to do so.

I hope I could help. Please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

[tsumus-babydoll]

the hatred i held towards you

tw: ed, anorexia, neglectful parent (mother), hate, verbal abuse, lmk if i missed smth

a/n: this is just me venting tbh

I often find myself questioning why my mother harbors such intense animosity towards me. a single misspoken word unleashes a torrent of pent-up anger, assaulting me like a barrage of needles hurled at the speed of light. it matters little whether I provoked her ire or not; she strikes me as if I were a discarded rag, releasing all her suppressed emotions.

"you always wonder why I'm upset, but if you worked and returned home to a constant struggle, perhaps you'd understand," she retorts. I used to believe that being a parent meant setting aside personal feelings to prioritize the well-being of one's children. yet, it seems my mother does the opposite, forcing me to endure the repercussions of her reflective sadness.

in response, I've chosen to navigate life independently, raising myself. I've come to realize that I can achieve anything alone, disregarding the opinions and desires of others. however, the pain lingers when you make it clear that, in your eyes, I'll never measure up.

"why are you struggling in school?" you ask. do you know that I'm one of the top students, facing resentment from peers who can't compete with me? are you aware that I regularly contribute to donations, ensuring a better future for other kids, unlike the one I foresee for myself?

"you've gained so much weight; remember when you used to work out all the time?" yes, mom, I remember the day we hastily left the doctor's appointment, where my battle with an eating disorder was publicly acknowledged. did you know I subjected myself to such extremes just to be deemed worthy in your eyes? I starved myself, but what did it truly accomplish? I sacrificed my body, but for what purpose? I lost my soul, but where did it lead me?

nowhere. It led me nowhere.

"why can't you ever listen and just follow a simple instruction? are you that incapable? are you that stupid?"

why do you hate me so much, mom?

© do not steal, repost, or translate anywhere. do not share or recommend my work on other platforms.

[ventingoutmyass]

2.27.24

for how I had worked through the two and a half years I spent in daily agony to detach from my dad, I guess it couldn't heal everything.

making a call to him, to check in on unwell family, and the call not being within a formula we had followed all my life until the last few years. Awkward silence, with not knowing what to say, knowing very little about each other's lives, too out of practice to remember the format our calls once had.

this morning I came across a wholesome meme, a screenshot of somebody's conversation with their father. The joke being the father texts like he's sending out update tweets, and the last one being "How is my number one?". And feeling an ache in my chest, because I've never had a parent who understood I hated talking on the phone, and so worked around my abilities and texting a 'how are you' to simply and genuinely know the answer. Certainly to never give my honest thoughts and feeling without the emotional repercussions of their response.

Apparently having a fully-formed frontal lobe means facing my parented issues smack in the middle of my twenties. Understanding that yes, I was at least somewhat-abused, but most definitely emotionally neglected. Very much so.

Seems I just couldn't unlock it until I began to face the issues with my mom. Had to face both parents to accurately see the picture.

The envy I always was aware of as a kid, was seeing teens on sitcoms be angry with their parent, be allowed to express their anger and storm away. For their parent to soon follow them, wait for them to cool down, to then get on their level and talk to them and apologize. I envied showing emotion. I envied having situations explained. I envied being understood and apologized to. I envied feeling comforted by the hug to finish the scene. I envied loving my parents in the ways these actors portrayed. I envied having parents with patience, and want to understand their children, for who they are and not just how the parents wish they were.

My mother wanted affectionate children, who respected their parents and didnt talk too much but looked for advice and wanted to be hugged when they cried. My father wanted young children of stone who expressed nothing but gratitude and were quiet and never hit first always last and were in need of protection of their big strong father, to grow up to be strong themselves.

Stepparents who were largely the same. One who couldn't be more different from me in all bad ways and another who I would swear every day for thirteen years is the devil incarnate. Each with their own children, whom vary in favor, but all incredibly different from me all the same. It truly has always been my brother and I from the start.

"why dont you try to meet them on their level, instead?"

I have. I have tried, many times, in the ways I could think of. Nothing worked. I have parents who have refused to speak and to listen for twenty-five years. You get tired of constantly trying and waiting. There is a constant truth. I am the child. I was always the child. I am the infant they chose to raise and the person who came from that. If they were unwilling to meet me at my level as a child, if they are unwilling to try even now, I will not waste myself to meet them where they refuse to move. Not again, not anymore.

All children deserve guardians who will talk to them, and who will listen to them. I am children. We are all children. We all deserved that treatment all the same.

They wanted children who were things I am not.

I wanted parents they were not.

[aspecials]

Understanding Behavioral Health for Children

In the colorful tapestry of childhood, a child's development is anchored by their emotional well-being. It's critical to give their mental and emotional wellbeing the same priority as their physical health. A wide range of emotional, psychological, and social elements that influence children's ideas, feelings, and behaviors are included in the field of behavioral health. Let's examine the intricacies of children's behavioral health, including its importance, typical worries, and supportive tactics.

Recognizing Children's Behavioral Health Children's emotional, psychological, and social well-being are all a part of their behavioral health, which affects how they view and engage with the world. It covers a wide range of topics, such as resilience, social skills, coping strategies, and emotional regulation. Fostering healthy behavioral health in children is crucial for their growth, development, and happiness, just as maintaining physical health is important for general well-being.

Recognizing Issues with Behavioral Health Early intervention and assistance for children with behavioral health issues depend heavily on this recognition. As they move through various developmental phases, children may exhibit a variety of behaviors; however, excessive or persistent behaviors may point to underlying problems. Anxiety disorders, depression, attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), conduct disorders, and aba therapy for children are among the common behavioral health issues that children face. These disorders can show up in a variety of ways, impacting a child's behavior, temperament, social skills, and academic achievement.

Factors Affecting Mental Health Behavioral health for kids Miami is influenced by a variety of factors, such as socioeconomic status, family dynamics, environmental factors, genetic predispositions, and life events. Neglect, abuse, trauma, and other adverse childhood events, as well as family discord, can have a profound effect on a child's behavior and emotional health. In addition, cultural elements including media exposure, peer pressure, bullying, and academic stress can have an impact on children's behavior and mental health.

Encouraging Positive Behavioral Health Children's emotional, psychological, and social needs must be met in a multifaceted way in order to promote healthy behavioral health in them. The following are some methods to promote kids' mental health: Encourage direct and honest communication with kids by creating a safe environment in which they can voice their worries and views without fear of repercussions.

Emotional Regulation: Provide kids coping mechanisms like mindfulness, deep breathing, relaxation techniques, and encouraging self-talk to help them manage their emotions. Healthy connections: Encourage good connections with family, friends, and adults you can trust by placing a strong emphasis on respect, kindness, empathy, and efficient communication. Social Support: Get kids involved in clubs, sports, social gatherings, and neighborhood activities that help them make friends, work together, and feel like they belong.

Structure and Routine: To provide kids a feeling of stability, predictability, and security in their everyday lives, set up consistent routines and boundaries. Access to Support Services: Make sure that kids who might need extra help or intervention have access to mental health resources including therapy, counseling, and support groups.

In summary: Fostering Resilient Spirits In conclusion, children's general growth and well-being depend on the cultivation of excellent behavioral health. We can develop resilient spirits that can face life's obstacles with grace and courage by comprehending the elements that affect children's mental health and behavior and putting methods in place to assist their emotional, psychological, and social needs. Let's prioritize our children's mental health as parents, teachers, and community members to provide the groundwork for a future full of optimism, resiliency, and vibrant spirits.

[amypfefferorchardbuffalo]

How Childhood Trauma Affects Your Life

The trauma suffered as a child has a detrimental effect on one's mental health. They could have feelings of guilt, humiliation, isolation, and difficulty regulating their emotions as a result.

A traumatic event can be anything that causes fear, anxiety, or a sense of helplessness. The experiences can be one-time or ongoing and can affect people of all ages.

It can also lead them to have a hard time concentrating at school or with relationships. If not treated, these emotions and symptoms may persist throughout adulthood.

Children's growing brains make them more susceptible to trauma. A traumatic experience may have a long-term impact on a person's behavior, emotional growth, and physical health.

Traumatic experiences might alter a person's perspective of the outside world. They can have trouble understanding and processing information that is not immediately obvious, be unable to trust their own feelings or thoughts, or all three.

Even after the traumatic incident has passed, these reactions may still be challenging to control. They may result in psychological issues like posttraumatic stress disorder. (PTSD).

The emotional, physical, and cognitive health of a kid can suffer long-term repercussions from traumatic experiences. They may also lead to medical ailments like heart disease and diabetes, as well as a range of mental health disorders and repercussions, such as PTSD and other anxiety disorders, as well as issues with mood or substance use.

The most frequent sort of childhood trauma is when a loved one is abused or neglected, but many other traumatic incidents can also have long-term effects. A child's life may be drastically affected by a variety of events, such as the death of a parent, the loss of a pet or a loved one, or becoming the victim of sexual assault.

Speak with a mental health expert, such as a certified therapist, to find out if your child is going through a traumatic experience. These experts will be able to teach your child coping mechanisms and assist them in dealing with the stress of the situation. You might also want to discuss how the school can help your child at this trying time with them.

At any age, traumatic experiences can have long-lasting repercussions on your physical and emotional health. Symptoms such as PTSD, depression, and anxiety may be widespread.

Any encounter that leaves you feeling helpless, terrified, or endangered qualifies as traumatic. These encounters frequently pose a threat to life, such as going through a natural disaster or residing in a violent neighborhood.

It might also be an unexpected occurrence, such as a loved one's passing or a job loss. Children can learn how to handle a difficult incident without becoming overwhelmed by guidance from adults. The term for this is trauma treatment.

According to studies, adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) raise a person's lifetime risk for developing health issues and behavioral disorders. In addition to increasing the risk of harmful behaviors and high-risk activities, including smoking, drug use, and substance addiction, ACEs are a significant contributor to chronic health issues.

The most typical effect of childhood trauma on an individual's life is the development of mental health illnesses. PTSD, depression, anxiety, substance misuse, and self-harm are a few of them.

Childhood trauma can also result in long-term physical health problems like diabetes, obesity, autoimmune illnesses, and heart disease. Somatic problems like stomachaches, headaches, or aches that don't seem to have an underlying reason may accompany these symptoms.

A person may experience the aftereffects of childhood trauma for the rest of their lives, which can leave them feeling hopeless and alone. They could be afraid to put their faith in others and think that everyone is trying to get them. They may not be able to achieve their goals or establish healthy relationships as a result.

[r0hitdhiman]

Who are social workers? Can they help your child or family?

The placement of foster children in long-term homes and maintaining their safety and well-being while in the foster care system are both crucial functions of the foster care social worker. Social workers in foster care also assist in maintaining intact families or reuniting children with their parents or carers. Children have nearly invariably gone through terrible experiences by the time they enter foster care. Children most frequently enter foster care as a result of:

Neglect

Usage of drugs by a parent

Parent or caregiver's inability to care for a child

Violent abuse

Numerous foster children have also endured sexual assault, abandonment, or homelessness.

A kid's psychological and physical health can be significantly impacted by these traumas, which are frequently cumulative. They may impair a child's capacity for:

Accomplish developmental milestones

Succeed in school

Create wholesome social networks

Foster care can provide children with some protection from abuse and neglect, but it can't heal their emotional and psychological wounds right away. The impact of foster care on child development has only been the subject of a few studies. According to research, a child's early experiences affect their subsequent growth and functional capacity. Additionally, numerous studies have indicated that severely neglected children, as can happen to children who are neglected while they are very young, can have long-term functional and developmental repercussions.

According to a study published in the Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry, foster care may improve a child's chances of overcoming functional and developmental deficits. Compared to children who suffered deprivation but were not placed in foster care, just 23% of those with histories of extreme early deprivation who were placed in foster care at 12 showed adaptive functioning, according to the study's findings. This is known as adaptive functioning when a youngster develops judgement, social skills, and maturity at an age-appropriate level.

When traumatised children are placed in foster care, their lives are severely disrupted. Foster care placement, for instance, can occasionally cause siblings to be split up, send kids to different schools, or take them away from their friends. Children's relationships with their former carers are also strained due to foster care. While this may offer children much-needed relief, particularly in cases of abuse, a child will inevitably view being taken from their family as a painful experience. The findings of several studies that demonstrate foster children have higher rates of behavioural and mental health issues than kids in the general community are most likely explained by this, along with earlier mistreatment. Foster children are particularly susceptible to problems with social-emotional functioning, or the capacity to express and manage emotions, because of their complicated pasts.

Social workers who work with foster children contribute to ensuring their welfare. This entails:

Evaluating and preparing foster parents

Matching kids with foster homes or relatives that can take care of them and meet their needs

A review of current foster care placements

Fostering foster children and their foster parents

Pursuing adoption or family reunification as long-term options for children

Serving as a bridge between foster parents, social services organisations, and families is another aspect of a social worker's job in family fostering. Foster care social workers might be called upon, for instance, when social services organisations need to conduct investigations or remove kids from their families for their protection.

Working with a child's primary carers to construct a reunification plan is a common step in developing and implementing permanent plans. Foster care social workers talk with the child's biological parents about the reasons for the child's removal and come up with fostering solutions to the problems that caused the removal. They establish objectives to aid natural carers in getting to the point where they can:

Protect their kids from abuse and neglect.

Take care of their kids' emotional, nutritional, and medical needs.

Show that they are dedicated to developing their parenting abilities.

[littleholmes]

As someone with a dad who was, to put it mildly, a shit dad in my youth and most of my life but is now trying to redeem himself in my late 20’s, this situation with the Todoroki family to me is so interesting in it’s depiction of the family’s varied reactions to endeavor over the course of these arcs, idk let me explain [mild spoilers for ch. 300 under the cut, tw for mentions of abuse and abandonment]

My mom is similar to Rei, unmoved by my dad’s tears when he receives consequences for his actions and unfazed by his attempts to be a better man decades after he left and she (my mom) divorced him. I have three significantly older half-siblings, two of which have written him off completely, one who is indifferent but keeps contact with him, and then there’s me. I have wavered since my late teens to now between Touya’s anger, Fuyumi’s care, Natsuo’s indifference, and Shouto’s irritated tolerance (I know their emotions aren’t as simply reduced to the above but that’s a whole separate post).

When I see Enji, I see my dad. While he wasn’t nearly as awful nor was he physically abusive like Enji, I still bear the trauma and metaphorical burns of his emotional (& verbal at times) abuse, his neglect when he was around, and his years of pure straight-up abandonment. He recognized me as his kid, as a tiny human he helped create who existed, when it was convenient. When I see Dabi, I see what he’s done in these last chapters as completely justified, particularly given the hero society as it is right now and how much of a pedestal they put heroes on. I would be livid if a society put my dad on a pedestal as a No. 2, now No. 1 hero, if kids were saying they wanted to be him when they grow up. To see that, and have society praising him as an amazing man when I know the horrible shit he did to me and my mom and his other kids? That would be upsetting at the least and traumatic at worst. So Touya pulling out the truth to ruin his reputation? I don’t blame him.

Now when I see Fuyumi and her previous attempts to bridge the divide so to speak and play nice, I understand that too. I cling to the crumbs of moments when he was a good dad and the good times, but the bad tilt the scale in a way that makes it hard to ignore. It’s all part of the weird complicated emotions that, for some people, can come up when dealing with a parent, (particularly in my situation as an only/youngest child hybrid which gets extrapolated in the feeling-responsibility-for-aging-parents department, but I digress). My dad has improved since I was a kid, and while I recognize that he’s actively trying to be a better dad, it doesn’t make the damage he caused me and my mom any better. It’s hard to undo damage from gaslighting and emotional abuse. It’s taken time and years of therapy, but my view of my dad is still something that is incredibly complicated. He underwent cancer treatments this past year and that made everything even more emotionally complex because I was worried and scared, but there were absolutely moments when part of me, the part who is still very upset about what he’s done, was indifferent.

The metaphorical burns, the trauma, caused by my dad will always be in my mind. And I know forgiving is not forgetting, but I don’t think I’ve fully forgiven him--and idk if I ever will because his past actions have had major repercussions to my being and mental health, and while I recognize his progress, I also keep myself on guard and stop getting my hopes up because I’m always certain the bottom will drop and he’ll go back to being awful again and I don’t want go back to being that kid who was let down by her dad over and over again.

So when I see this Enji situation and the Todoroki family, I feel the same. I watch Enji and wonder when the bottom is gonna drop. Is he just trying to be ‘better’ because the public is watching now that he’s No. 2 and because his shit is catching up to him? Or is he really trying to be better because he feels guilty? I see him cry and I’m angry--why does he get to cry about his consequences? But then a tiny part is like damn because I recognize his humanity and I’m too damn empathetic for my own good, but the overwhelming bulk of me is rolling my eyes because I can’t accept the tears after everything he's done. I don’t want him to get away with it.

While I recognize that, sure, Enji’s trying, I’m wary and waiting for the bottom to drop, just like with my dad. And I might have a few moments of care, but mostly I’m as indifferent as the other siblings because I was Touya, crying and ripping my hair. I vied for years for my dad's attention, acceptance, and love, only to be forgotten for a few years then remembered. And because of that, now I’m severely burned and carry that weight of his ‘parenting’ and choices, and deal with it and him like Shouto.

But that’s just my situation and I recognize that everyone’s own histories and experiences with toxicity/abuse is different and influences how they view these arcs. How we view these arcs is as valid as our experiences and pain.

TL;DR: I just appreciate that we get to see the layers of this family and the complexity of their emotions while they navigate the situation that is reconciling past with present Endeavor.

[gerbu]

(VERY long post ahead, most of it is under the read more)

Hi, another mental health post, this time I was wondering if any systems could help me out? I’m trying to figure out if I am a system and if I have OSDD (I’m nearly 99% sure it’s not DID) or if I am just, idk, doing smth weird with my personality.

My entire life I’ve been very much into making up stories and characters, and I think I may be a maladaptive daydreamer as sometimes the stories become too real and cause me anxiety. I especially love making up characters and sometimes get attached to them, and in the past I’ve also occasionally “talked” to them regarding their story (such as, “Brian, you’re going to do x thing.” “Really? But why?”) however they’ve never felt like a part of me. In the past I’ve experienced emotional neglect and I couldn’t trust my parents to properly comfort me as they didn’t know I had adhd (although I think I may be autistic, not adhd) and never reacted well to my meltdowns and such. Since then I’ve had my main “characters” (what I choose to call them) who I always just considered the different aspects of my personality, however I’ve begun to feel like they’re more than just that. All of them have different appearances and personalities and do different things, and they feel like other people inside me. However I am hesitant to call it a system as the others rarely front, and if they do it’s pretty much impossible for anyone besides us to tell that something is different, and although we have extensive communication I cannot distinguish if a lot of what they say is spontaneous and from them or if it is me giving them stuff to say as I do when I talk to my actual made up characters. I thought I would give you some detail on who they all are, too.

Seth is the most talkative but also the rarest to front, like a kid in the back hanging onto the driver’s seat and annoying them. He is around 12-13, and if we are a system and he is an alter, we think he is a developed introspective of Gumball from TAWOG, as that was my favorite show growing up and gave me an escape from everything going on around me. He is sort of the class favorite (but that could also just be that his ego is so big it’s literally leaking into the host’s thoughts. If so, Seth, get out of here.) In a story setting, he would be the stupid character (sorry) (he’s mad at us now and I feel bad Seth I’m sorry) that serves as a stand-in for the audience to maximize exposition. He’s immature and the bigs of the group educate him a lot.

Ethan is me, the host, I’m up front maybe 98% of the time unless there’s someone else we don‘t know about. I guess I’ll give you some more details about the body here, since there’s nothing much else I could put. When I was very young my family was more dysfunctional than it is now (we were still healthy for the most part, but my mom had a lot of anger issues and past trauma she was still trying to work through that effected her parenting). Things we experienced that we consider trauma due to current and past repercussions are my parent’s mishandling of meltdowns (specifically, they isolated me when I was upset for no reason “until I calmed down”), more recent events regarding mishandling of nightly panic attacks (didn’t know what was going on and brushed it off, causing more panic), and also a lot of yelling which may not seem like much but I am extremely sensitive to sound. These events caused me to emotionally mature past my age, develop a second me to look after myself (Hestia, we’ll talk about her later), and when I was much younger I had an inner voice which was terrifying and difficult to describe. It was a muffled yelling/screaming voice that degraded and shamed me in a very fast voice so that I couldn’t hear an exact sentence but got the vibe, and it would stay at one volume but rise in pitch. It tormented much of my life until second grade when I figured out a way to ward it off. I’ve always struggled with being too guilty about things and the voice would yell at me for simple things like spilling something, accidentally hitting someone, and stuff like that, probably due to my mom’s overreactions to the same situations. I am very slow to trust, socially awkward and introverted, and very factual/logical. I also have terrible social, separational, and generalized anxiety. I am a minor, which is also why I am not sure if I have OSDD as it is not usually diagnosed to people my age.

Ella is the responsible person, she is logical, clever, kind, and acts as a big sister. She often takes over when I talk to boys younger than me (probably because she is the main caregiver for Seth, who is younger than me) and is the second most present of our group. She is usually the one to take more control in social situations, calming everyone down and mirroring until it is over. We don’t know how old her or any of the bigs are, but she seems to be somewhere in her early twenties.

Hestia is complicated. She existed before her name, and after we named her she changed a little to became a bit of a developed introspective. She was the first to appear, taking care of our emotional and physical needs throughout childhood because we couldn’t rely on our mom. She is very maternal but rarely shows up anymore, and she never fronts, just appears beside us as a sort of guide. We don‘t know what age she is either, but she is assumed to be late twenties/early thirties. She does not talk unless we are under emotional stress.

Molly is one of the smaller (rarer) ones, she is the least developed. She is assumed to be late teens/early twenties and is very aggressive. We think she might be a late introspective of our only best friend, who in the past was aggressive (not EXTREMELY aggressive, or even very aggressive) in the way that they were the only friend we ever had to offer us physical and emotional protection (a stand-out memory is someone said something to hurt me in fourth grade and they got mad and said they’d punch them in the face, or something). Molly does not do much by way of emotions, however she is very angry all the time and vocally threatens pretty much anyone to annoy us (by vocally I mean in our brain, not actually out loud). She is most present in times of high stress or anxiety, such as the school day, and offers more of a relief. We would not act on anything she suggests, and she rarely fronts, but if she does it has never physically endangered anybody, she’s just an angry person.

As far as we know, that’s everyone. After reading this post back to myself it feels obvious to me that I do have something somewhere in OSDD, but I’m just not sure because people my age just don‘t get diagnoses for this, and because I make up characters and talk to them a lot anyways. If you made it all the way here, thank you for reading all of this, and I wish y’all a great day.

[echodrops]

I’m obviously late to the tumble party... but I stumbled across your Notagami Essays posts and they are absolutely Fabulous! Love your writing and the amount of detail you go into :)

So I figured you may be a good person to ask - if you just had to guess (bc as far as I know it’s never been officially confirmed?) but if you had to take a guess or give a rough estimate, how old do you think Yato was when he first met Sakura? We know he’s estimated to be at least a thousand years old, we know he’s - from the start of the series to present - estimated to be somewhere between 18 and his early 20s (physically)... but I can’t find a single thing/discussion/post/stickynote/whatever where it talks about how old he might have been when he first met Sakura - let alone the emotional/psychological effects of Sakura coming into his life and introducing healthy mindset/morals/maternal-influence etc. etc. (obviously no mom and Father’s neglect played a big role in him not knowing how inappropriate it was for him to ‘accidentally touch’ and yell “boobs!” but you can also just say he was so young he didn’t know how inappropriate that was?) My point is: how old do you think Yato was (physically anyway) at the time of their meeting? and Do you know of any discussions or care to share your opinion on how being the no more than the age of blank affected his mental/emotional understanding of Sakura teaching him a new narrative?

Sorry this is a random out of the blue ask 😅😓 if I rambled on and you don’t feel like answering, I get it, just figured it was worth asking :)

I fell down a serious rabbit hole trying to see if I could figure out the answer to this question about Yato’s age but unfortunately I’m mostly coming up empty-handed.

The answer to this question actually depends on two different pieces of information which--as far as I can remember--we’ve never actually been given for certain.

1) We would need to know when Yato was actually born.

The manga has kind of hinted at a total (not physical) age for Yato in the flashbacks which showed him as a young child during the Heian era (putting him somewhere in the vicinity of a little over 1000 years old) and Father not making masks before ~1100 years ago, but the problem is we still don’t know how many years might have passed between this scene (the youngest we’ve ever seen Yato):

And the next flashback scene, where Yato meets Nora:

If gods age normally when they are children, these two scenes might be only a handful of years apart. But if gods don’t age normally, then these two scenes could be decades or centuries apart, which leads to the other missing piece of information (under the read more to save people’s dashes):

2) We would need to know the aging process for gods who are just born/reincarnate.

Up to this point in the manga, we’ve only seen two gods reincarnate--Ebisu (who reincarnated too recently to really help answer this question) and Takemikazuchi. The implication of Takemikazuchi’s backstory is that his shinki forced him to reincarnate and then hid his reincarnation from all of Heaven. The only way they could have kept other gods from noticing that Takemikazuchi had reincarnated would have been by not allowing him to go out at all until he had grown enough to match his previous reincarnation in appearance. This seems to suggest that gods probably do age normally when they are children--hiding Takemikazuchi away for ~20 years seems a lot more likely than being able to hide him away for centuries, after all... (I also feel like I have very vague recollection of some scene in the manga where someone comments on Takemikazuchi not having been around for a “few years,” but it’s been so long since I reread I can’t recall if this is a real moment from the manga or just me misremembering.) 

Overall, however, based on what we’ve seen in the manga, my guess would be that when they’re young, after just being born or being reincarnated, gods age pretty normally. This would suggest that, for the first few years at least, the physical and mental ages of reincarnated/newly born gods actually overlap; baby Ebisu acts like a little kid because he is, in fact, both mentally and physically a little kid.

That would mean that, for all intents and purposes, Yato’s physical and mental ages lined up when he was young and meeting Sakura, and he acted like a little kid because he really was just a little kid, god or not.

(Detour for a second though: 

This line always struck me as interesting in that it might, just might, give us a more specific timeframe for Yato’s “birth”: although the constellations, of course, are visible in the sky every single year, this particular combination of concepts (kanoto-tori, yin metal rooster) is known much more commonly as one of the sixty years on the cyclical Chinese calendar, also used in Japan. Counting back on the calendar, 961 A.D. was a yin metal rooster year and would align just about right for what we know about the timeframe in which Yato later met Sakura (~970ish). Just referencing constellations doesn’t mean Adachitoka was pointing to a specific year, but it might have been another hint as to the timeframe of the flashbacks.

Okay, detour over.)

Anyway, without 100% confirmation on either of those pieces of information--when Yato was born and whether gods age at the same rate as humans after reincarnating--I don’t think it’s really possible to pin down Yato’s “real” age (physically or mentally) at the time he met Sakura. We mostly just have to estimate. 

Personally, based on his size and behavior at the time, I’d put him somewhere between seven and maybe up to ten, but the way Adachitoka draws characters kind of makes it impossible to judge their ages by appearance; Yato is about the same size as Nora when he meets Sakura, implying that he and Nora were around the same physical “age” at that time; meanwhile, Nora is later portrayed as being roughly the same age as Yukine, suggesting she was maybe 12-13ish years old when she died. So, despite being drawn tiny, it’s possible Yato was meant to be anywhere from a little kiddo (6-7) to all the way up to Nora’s age by the time he met Sakura.

But all that said, I think what you were really asking about was more the mental state Yato would have been in when he met Sakura and how his young age would have impacted his ability to change his world views, right? The answer to that is... complicated and could be approached a lot of ways. Coming from a background of working with and educating social work students, there are several common psychological theories of child development that might apply here, for example. 

I’d recommend checking out Erik Erikson’s psychosocial stages of development, though. 

(Pulled from here.)

I don’t have time to explain the entire theory with the complexity it might deserve, but the basic idea is that, as children develop, they experience a series of crises or challenges that they must overcome. Successfully overcoming each challenge results in successful psychological and social development; failing to overcome a challenge in childhood will result in long-term negative impacts later in the child’s life. (There are plenty critiques of this theory too, so don’t take this as gospel or anything--just a theory worth thinking about!)  

Given Father’s lack of interest in teaching Yato basic concepts of humanity, I would put Yato at approximately the “Initiative vs. Guilt” stage when he met Sakura. At this level of Erikson’s theory, children struggle with asserting themselves and developing a healthy sense of how their personal desires might conflict with the expectations and rules set out by others. In this stage, giving a child positive feedback for their actions teaches the child that those actions are “right,” while giving negative feedback teaching the child that their actions are wrong. In order to overcome this particular challenge, children need to begin taking initiative and aligning their actions with social standards; the child acts, and the parental figure reacts--through this process, children learn “I can do X thing but I cannot do Y thing.” 

When you hear things like “Children are cruel,” most often what people are referring to is that it takes time for children to learn empathy and to experience guilt when they cause harm to others; children do not natively understand the repercussions of their actions. It’s only through a process of testing the boundaries, of receiving praise or punishment, that children define what is “right” versus “wrong,” and begin to feel bad when they do something deemed wrong.

And this is pretty much word-for-word what we see Sakura teaching Yato.

If they have healthy role models and caretakers during this phase, children develop successfully. Successful children in this phase get their first taste of personal responsibility; unsuccessful children are (supposedly) plagued for years afterward by a sense of guilt and shame when their actions produce disapproval from everyone around them.

Yato... doesn’t exactly make it through this development stage unscathed, because he receives conflicting definitions of right and wrong from his Father an Sakura:

Which ultimately results in, years later, the Yato we know and love who still does his Father’s bidding to kill humans even though it fills him with a horrific sense of guilt:

Through his time with Sakura, I think it could also be argued that Yato moves into the next stage of Erikson’s theory as well, getting into the “Industry versus Inferiority” crises. 

Meeting Sakura brings out Yato’s true, deep down desire as a god: to help people. (I think it’s important to note that this isn’t something Sakura teaches him--it’s a quality Yato already possessed; it was explicitly Yato’s desire to please people that led to him murdering in his father’s name.)

Once he learns what makes people happy, Yato immediately pursues that with intense focus:

The primary goal of this phase of psychosocial development is to experience a sense of confidence in one’s actions. When children practice their skills, pursue areas where they are praised, and gain new skills and aptitudes through mentoring from healthy role models, they gain confidence in their ability to excel, to fit in with peers their age, and to create meaningful things. By encouraging Yato to pursue positive behaviors--playing peacefully with other children, appreciating natural beauty, and creating useful things like boots for the needy--Sakura moved Yato toward successfully completing this phase and developing a sense of confidence in his actions and his ability to achieve positive things in the world. 

Of course, Father cannot have that (because confident children with a sense of self-worth are much more difficult to abuse), so he puts an immediate end to Sakura’s influence over Yato in the most insidious way possible: although he clearly manipulated the situation to achieve Sakura’s death, out loud, he blames Yato, implying that Sakura’s death was all Yato’s fault, the results of Yato taking unwanted action “industry” and yet failing--creating a sense of “inferiority” instead.

This, of course, haunts Yato all the way to the present, as he--again and again and again--blames himself for things outside his control or failing to live up to expectations that no one in his situation (still being manipulated) could possibly hope to get “right.” 

Finally, you could say that Sakura’s presence is Yato’s life is ultimately what sows the seeds of the manga’s main plot up to this point, with Yato’s quest to create an entirely new identity for himself as a god of fortune instead of a god of calamity. Personally, I would say that Yato is currently still in this phase of development, still working out how to define himself and who he will ultimately become once he is finally free to decide on his own path in life. It was Sakura’s gentle influence--his desire to become the kind of god who could make her smile--that eventually sparked his conflict and finally led Yato to the brink of catastrophe. If he wishes to become the god Sakura told him he could be, he can no longer suffer his father to live.

So, long story longer, I think it can be argued that Yato meeting Sakura at such a young age is EXACTLY what made it possible for him to change, and exactly what has led to his crisis in identifying himself and redefining his sense of right and wrong. 

Uhhhh... I hope that answers your question!

[deathscythes]

Endeavor got what he deserved tbh!!! Dabi might not be innocent but he has every right to bring Endeavor down for all his abuse and half ass attempt at a "redemption" when he can't even apologize to those he wounded the most for the sake of his self interest and pursuit for power.

Natsuo and Fuyumi might be the least abused but the neglect from their upbringing is still affecting them today just look at how Fuyumi puts herself as the mediator position despite literally just becoming into an adult she's probably raised her siblings since their mom left :/

yeah, exactly. I see a lot of people say that endeavor’s redemption was well written, even though it clearly wasn’t... he never apologizes or acknowledges that what he did was wrong, not to himself or to his kids or anyone. all he does is go “I want to have a relationship with you, how can I have that” to his kids. him giving his kids space doesn’t mean anything if he refuses to acknowledge the abuse he inflicted them through. his behavior hasn’t changed.

on the other hand, I’ve also seen people say that perhaps horikoshi wrote it like that intentionally to make the touya reveal more impactful. these theories have some credibility but with horikoshi’s weird repetitive themes of villainizing “bad” abuse victims and making their abusers receive no repercussions, I’m not entirely sure if endeavor’s redemption arc was purposefully written that way.

I don’t like to use the phrasing “more or least abused” regarding abuse victims because it paints some victims of abuse as lesser in their struggles than others, and while natsuo and fuyumi were not physically abused, they still suffered the neglect and emotional abuse at the hands of endeavor (him tossing them aside, refusing to interact with them, and regarding them as worthless is emotional abuse as well as neglect). but yeah, they’ve suffered a lot and it’s deeply saddening to think about how they’ve struggled. I really hope endeavor gets what’s coming to him.

[hillnerd]

I was wondering how you see Ron's relationship with his parents?

I think that Ron has a very 1970′s relationship with his parents. The kids do their thing in the OTHER room while the adults do THEIR thing- and then they come together for like meals and stuff. As fun as the Weasleys are we don’t see a whole lot of parent/child interactions that aren’t orders- much of this is just because of the perspective of the books being Harry’s- but it’s a bit of an old fashioned ‘parents are never around the kids or talking much to them’ sort of thing? If once infers this to mean how the Weasley family works- it looks like his dad is always busy with work or in his shed- occassionally coming out for meals, being with his wife, and putting an oar in to discipline when needed. His Mum is the ‘eternally overworked mother’ even when she barely has anyone to look over- so she’s much more prone to talk to you about what the schedule is and what chores to do and what food will be served than having a heart to heart.

Ron I picture as a very sensitive younger child- who didn’t get that much one on one attention ever. He internalized it terribly.

He admired and loves his parents- but isn’t quite sure what to do with them when it’s just him and them. Sometimes this is a little saddening to him. He truly gets on well with his parents- there are few fights, few complaints he has- his main thing is that he just always felt a touch of emotional neglect. He might have complained about things like maroon sweaters or somesuch- but the real complaint under all that was ‘I feel a tad bit overlooked and unloved- and like I’ll only get attention/love if I achieve something BIG’- and even then we see that he doesn’t get much attention for it from anyone in the family? Except prefect (which was a double edged sword w/ the jealous twins ready to make him feel worthless over it)

So yeah... That leaves it a loving good relationship on some levels- and a little bit strained in others. 

I think as he got older and had more opportunities to bond with his parents they would grow to have a much better relationship than that of his youth. They’d grow to be able to really talk- from both sides- vs when he was a kid I honestly don’t know how much he talked back and forth with them. I think that was probably a rarity- which is a bit sad.

In no way am I saying Ron ‘had a bad childhood’ or ‘they were bad parents.’ No! They were very very good parents! They just had old fashioned ways of handling the kids, and didn’t put that much thought into emotional repercussions/impacts at times. To me it’s infered they did little to interfere with emotional issues until they came to a head with like spells happening. ‘I’m a bit too harried to deal with you looking sad- OH NO YOU’RE PUNCHING YOUR BROTHER I guess I’ll check in!’ Did they do more than that? I think at times they did- but honestly as working parents (dad working, her homeschooling 7 children and running a full country property basically on her own) there’s not the luxury of time. Mix that with old fashioned parenting tropes/techniques and yeah- there is some strain there.

Ron gets on more naturally with his father. His dad is an easy person to converse with, very understanding, and open and not very judgemental. He is more able to have a friendship with him as the years go on and it’s no longer the parent-child dynamic as he’s an adult.

Ron paterns much of his behavior after his mother in how he cares- but is much more like his dad in how he is able to talk to people. Molly is a highly loving person, but I see her and Ron having an awkward time of it when trying to just TALK- as she’s sort of addicted to ‘I’m too busy to function! :D’ when sometimes she’s not that busy and just doesn’t know how to sit and calmly BE with him? I like the idea of them learning how to do this more over the years. Ron is their magical dreamy sensitive fearsome little boy who they love to death- and who they find the hardest to put in a box and understand sometimes. He’s clueless and insightful. He’s brave but arachnophobic. He loves to laze about, but is quick to action to help people and has actually achieved quite a lot? He’s not trouble like the twins, but he’s in TROUBLE at school every year!  There is SO much love and admiration there between these three- and it’s quite nice. I like to think about how they’d get on in the later years (Waking Up has some of his parents with him in there- and will have more to come)