#and the reason i cant find people to relate to is that im really fucking weird

[snekdood]

Yknow what makes me reaentful? How ive been sexually abused so much growing up, no one did shit besides shove me off to a therapist, ive been promised by feminist spaces that ill have a place to heal within them, and as soon as my abusive ex tries to smear me and project their behavior on to me by accusing me of doing that shit too, all the sudden everyone acts suspicious, and i still dont get any of that promised healing. Its hard not to feel like my ex did this intentionally to prevent me from having a space to heal. And its my issue with the "believe victims" narrative because it seems to me like people dont actually want to believe victims but to believe the victims they *like* and *agree more with politically*. If people can just say whatever about someone and you feel obligated to believe them because "believe victims", its very clearly going to be exploited by abusive people, and while i dont think we should stop per se, we need to have some sort of actual system to vet who is and isnt telling the truth, like a pseudo-courtroom. At the very least let everyone and their side of the story actually be heard. Bc idk how you guys plan to believe two victims at once who are accusing eachother other than throwing your hands up and picking one or deciding that we're both bad, which doesnt seem very fair to me since people seem to looove demonizing me for no discernable reason.

[rxmxa]

random astro observations part 13.✨

✨just for fun im just talking random ass shit based on PERSONALL observations..✨

PART TWELVE. 📀

virgo risings and people getting intimidated by the way they speak (scorpio 3rd house). But then when you get know and befriend them theyre so sweet (pisces 7h, cancer 11h). My virgo rising bestie & when i first met her in college she was speaking in class and i was like woah shes smart asf and intense 😭

or sag risings and them speaking to people in a direct yet still obscure manner! or sometimes even cold in a sense.. like girl what do u really mean fr 🤨 (aqua 3h). But then you get closer with them and they love to chat with you (gemini 7h) and make anytime u hang out a pleasant and nice time (libra 11h). my sag rising friend throws the best parties (going all out with the decor, presentation of food, having a theme & ofc taking nice pics after… real libra 11h shit).

taurus risings and them communicating in a very soft, comforting manner (cancer 3h) and as you get closer you notice their intensity in their relationships with people (scorpio 7h) and their giving, helpful nature in their friendships (pisces 11h).

another thing about taurus risings, you can bet they are getting FREAKYYY with their partner with that scorpio 7h 😭they are very private with their relationships and rarely reveal personal details about it unless they trust you. my taurus rising cousin and she never shares anything about her bf (whats mine is mine you dont need to worry about it) energy. and she also has mentioned she doesnt need to give ppl a reason to try to found out for themselves what a great time shes having lmfaooo

also my taurus rising coworkers and one time we all went out for drinks and one of our coworkers was complaining about how women always have a shit time when having seggs with men and my taurus rising coworker was like “wellppp cant relate.”.. and i oop 🙈

the 2nd house rules the vocal chords and as an aries 2h sometimes when im excited or even mad i sound like a 12 year old 😭 like naruto when hes giving one of his NEVER GIVE UP NEVER BACK DOWNNN speech. I also feel like if you have scorpio or aries 2h people always think you're mad and want you to "calm down" when you talk. like no im not mad have you ever heard of being fucking passionate? hmmm?

In general, aries placements could also find they get a lot of patronizing comments or aries women could even find that men often try to "mainsplain" them. just bc aries are being assertive doesnt mean theyre being reckless or not seeing the big picture.. its all a balance. Aries DOES have this youthful /bold energy, but that doesnt mean they cant be wise people who prefer to learn by doing, even if others mistake their approach for inexperience..

we know plutonians can be seen as having this “abrasive” energy to other people. it can throw them off or make them be like “oh i dont like them.” but pluto doms recognize other plutonian people its that silent understand lmaooo its giving "real recognize real😎 " overall tho pluto dom ppl try to give others the benefit of the doubt (not necessarily bc they like them but just bc they wanna feel the energy on their own). like if people are talking shit about someone pluto doms might sit back and stay silent about it. they do their digging on their own. theyre not gonna let the crowd influence how they feel about someone. plutonians will be DOING THEIR DIGGING FIRST no matter what.

I remember a time when my cousin, who’s a Scorpio rising, asked me if I liked one of her friends (not in a romantic way). I said, 'Yeah, why?' and she replied, 'Oh, just asking because she said she feels like you don’t like her, but I knew she was overthinking it.'" We moved on from the conversation, but later, I realized that was such a typical Scorpio rising move. Instead of just telling me, 'Hey, my friend feels like you don’t like her,' she asked me that question first to confirm or deny it. I felt like she did that on purpose to make it harder for me to lie, even though I wouldn’t have lied in the first place. It annoyed me because, like, why would I lie about something like that??? But then I understood it’s just her nature. Scorpio risings ask questions in a detective ass way because they want to dig for the truth and feel out people’s responses.

plutonians and scorpios do that shit all the time, tilting their heads like little cats, squinting, being all like "oh..hmm, why do you think that?" like no im about to do this shit with u rn sherlock fuckin JONES u know WHYYY

in my moon aspects post ppl asked me if it still applied with “harminous aspects” and yes. it still does. just bc u think its easier doesnt negate the energy. for ex i have moon trine neptune and my mom (moon) has always been in her own world (neptune). and other family members find her energy “endearing” or ask me to “be kinder to her” but its also hard when your mom often times cares more about the world of what ifs in her head more than the real world with her daughter ... also my moms way of coping (moon) at times would literally be by saying in front of the family as soon she got home that she hates her life and wish she could “grow wings and be somewhere far away from everyone ” like delulu was always the solution for her 😭….

but also i wonder if people with moon-neptune placements feel confused (neptune) about motherhood (moon) in general. i use to say i didn't want kids but as ive gotten older i do like the idea of it. it just feels very....… [static noises]

nui.views on instagram reminds me of the aries-libra axis so much. Most of her videos have titles like “how to be soft and direct” or “how to balance sharp and soft expressions.” usually titles along those lines. We know theres always time to read the room (libra) but also knowing when its time to stand up or speak up! (aries) and nui.views basically says it’s possible to do both.

12h moons & their moms being their biggest enemyyy is crazy!! 🤨 the passive aggressive behavior, entitlement, hating from the sidelines. AND the expectation of the 12h moon child to “repay” or be “grateful” mother for all they did. my ex had a 12h scorpio moon and brooo anytime they got a good thing, mom would make it all about her (for ex they bought a new car, mom was LIVIDDDDD). the moon can show how mom takes advantage. for ex: scorpio moon in the 12h and mom (moon) is possessive about the resources (scorpio) you have or over you in general. taurus moon and mom (moon) is possessive about your money (taurus) or maybe even holds over your head that “she feeds you.” i have a coworker with a 12h taurus moon and her mom constantly borrows money from her or literally steals it and never pays it back. capricorn moon and mom may feel like your accomplishments belong to her or “you wouldn’t be successful without all i did” energy.

^ their can be a lot of enmeshment with the mom with this placement (especially if their is a moon-pluto aspect) but its something the 12h moon person has to decide to sever or break from on their own and on their own time. this placement has to deal with the “mother always knows best😊😊😊😊” energy

12th house Moon women and other women (Moon) being their hidden enemies (12th house) is so real! I remember at my old job, one of my coworkers had a 12th house Aquarius Moon, and all the women would talk so much shit about her behind her back. (To be fair, she wasn’t doing her job well, but their comments were just unnecessarily nasty.) I used to feel bad for her in meetings because everyone would act normal to her face. I wasn’t at that job long… With this placement, it's common for other women (whether friends, family, or acquaintances) to secretly harbor resentment, jealousy, or animosity that isn’t obvious on the surface. Plus, with 12th house placements, if the person is genuinely doing something wrong or needs feedback, instead of being honest, people often use that as an excuse to bring up unrelated complaints or things they don’t like, turning it into something bigger than it is!! Like girl how did you go from talking about her customer service skills to talking about her haircut be fr!

how do you guys feel about people who plan their pregnancies to get a sign/ birth chart they are compatible with for their child? not gonna lie I use to think that shit was crazy but then I think about the 12h synastry and squares I have with my mom and im like... this shii couldve been way cuter...

gemini placements are the people that wake up in the middle of the night to google a random fact. its a itch they gotta scratch 😭 me with my chart ruler gemini jupiter in the 3h. trying to do type a paper for a class in one sitting? well no i got sidetracked reading about how to defend yourself against bear attacks which led me to bear survival stories on reddit which led me to reading about polar bears which led me to finding an article about the farmer that got attacked and eaten by his own hog named teddy and then… boom . its 3am.

Its so hard though like we know the "jack of all trades" label that comes with mercurial energy but damn what if I just wanna be a jack of one trade and be really good at that one thing? I bounce around from thing to thing because im always getting these diff ideas but im really working on finishing something once I start it. its just hard.... sometimes I b having a lot to yap about, ya know? (ive had many diff hobbies, writing fan-fiction, painting, making candles, crocheting, LMAOOO its just chaos sometimes)

sometimes aspects can be very literal. im spilling some family tea sorry tia but for ex my aunt has venus conjuct pluto in the 10th house and her relationships (venus) are known for (10h) being taboo or just frowned upon (10h). She dated her besties ex-husband and it caused A LOT OF drama and then he fucking died bro...like?? Being known for (10h) her lovers (venus) dying (pluto)?????? im not trying to be a judgmental asshole but also its so disappointing though when people use aspects like this for evil? fucking ur besties man as soon as they get divorced? with that venus-pluto in the 10h she could've found herself a successful ass business man!

my bestie is a teacher and she was telling me about how the kids were sharing about what they wanna be when they grow up and when it got to this one girls turn she said she wanted to be a basketball player or some shit like that (the point is it was a very 5th grade response similar to her peers) but then like the kids started clapping when she said hers??? LMAOOOO and to me that is the most sun-venus SHIT EVER. and then she told me all the the 5th grade tea, how some of the boys have a crush on her haha. shes admired and well liked (venus) just for being who she is (sun)!

moon-venus is different. my experience with venus-moon aspect has consisted of women always feeling comfortable enough to confide me, me feeling more comfy with women around, children loving me, children in my family venting to me (im that one cousin the babies reach out to first to get picked up ejeje). the moon is about the inner self, privacy, and our home life. A moon-venus person might be very well-liked, but often in a more low-key, intimate way. They're the type of person you confide in or feel safe with, rather than someone who shines in the spotlight or dominates a social scene the way a sun-venus person would. both aspects make a person likable, but in different way. sun-venus is more about being confident and noticeable, while moon-venus is more about being caring and emotionally connected with others.

btw doing personalized astro observations in the style of the way i usually write my random ones but instead based on your birth chart 😙🥰

[seawing-vibes]

Decided to fill out a template from @/falling-skyzz I feel normal about . The dragons ! List of characters & design & dynamic thoughts under the cut <3

Also If anyone else fills out thus template feel free to send me the post,, I would love to see other people filling this out!!! I love templates !!

Secretkeeper & Moon • I understand theres a lot of reasonable hate for Secretkeeper but!!! I find her & moon to be a very fascinating pair! To make a long ass thought short, I think Secretkeeper is the embodiment of “product of her environment & deeply traumatize & projecting”. I think she genuinely really loves moon but obviously expresses that through being “”protective””. But I think shes genuinely a character with a capacity for change & realizing the autonomy Moon has over her own powers. Also from the perspective of Moon I think her arc around her relationship with her mom could be really interesting, especially as Secretkeepers authority becomes challenged in Moons life & she has to confront the bullshit her mother has put her through. Overall very very interesting pair I think about them a lot.

Design Note: Secretkeeper is duller in color than Moon & has less stars due to lack of moon light on the island! Also the scales around her mouth are almost completely black, making her mouth barely visible, giving her the name “Secretkeeper” as she “has no mouth to tell others secrets.”

Tsunami & Starflight • Just one of my fav siblings! This specific illustration is from the Arena Scene in Dragonet Prophesy! I really really love Tsu & Starflights dynamic of looking up to eachother & their development together just. So neat!

Design Note: Starflight has very few constellation marks in this illustration as he hasnt spent much time under moonlight quite yet!

Shark & Abalone • One of my more out-there ships! I based this on the thought that Shark was once close with Abalone (cough. Husbands.) and that relates to why he was willing to give Tortoise a lunch-break from watching the eggs. He already saw someone close to him die from being overworked to watch the clutch, he didn’t want to watch another dragon die from his sisters selfishness. I could write an essay on these two I swear

Deisgn Note: Shark is based on a tiger shark & abalone is based on real abalones! hes one of my fav designs here

Six-Claws & Ostrich • He’s just a sweet dad! the little we see of him he seems to really love her & vice-versa <3 they’re just neat

Design Note: Six-Claws is based on a king cobra & is a specific sub-“species” of hooded Sandwings ! Burn found his hood mutation & six-claws super interesting

Tamarin & Pike • My fav background friendship! They’re just fun. I like Pike just chillin out around Tamarin & describing flower colors to her to the best of his ability (she just likes to hear him ramble about a shared interest)

Design Notes: I updated how I draw Tamarins eyes to properly resemble a blind-born dragon ! Also Pike’s deisgn got some yellow in it and I really like it <3

Whiteout & Thoughtful • I just think they’re neat!! They just seem like a sweet pair love them

Design Note: none really! Just experimenting with a rando Thoughtful design that I tossed together for my “ships tier list”

Tsunami • Its just her :) my fav dragon <3!!! I definitely dont think she upholds the “princess” title once she gets older, her only link to the throne is by Coral insisting monthly visits but Tsu otherwise wouldn’t be any interesting in royal life I would imagine

Design Note: Shes caught a waaururrghh something im going bonkers I cant remember what fish that is and my reference photo seems to have dissipated into the cosmos

Anemone • I LOVE HER. SO MUCH ! Anemone haters BACK OFF!!!! Her relationship to her powers is so fucked man. Something you’d think would give her power & control is just a key by which others use to manipulate and abuse her like . Man :( shes literally never had any autonomy over her own identity & intermingled her powers into her identity So Much only for that aspect of herself to also be revealed to be a facade for someone else’s desires like. GUH I love her so much I hope shes having a good day I dont care what anyone says she deserves to be a brat and I support her for it

Design Note: none really! The stars in her talons are just metaphorical though

Snowflake & Snowfox • THE OGS!!!!!! MY FAVORITE PROBLEMATIC LESBIANS <3 Ahhh remember in the early days when they were considered the #1 most problematic ship because they were gay and also evil. I love the evil lesbians so much they’re so shitty sorry Darkstalker Snowfox should’ve been queen I would’ve loved to see that go down it’d be so silly

Design Notes: Snowfox is based on an arctic fox shedding into their summer coat!! I know its p . Away from canon descriptors of her but it was sm fun to illustrate so shhh <3 Snowflake is just grey & blueish per-canon but shes sooo fun. love her.

Okay thats all here are the individual illustrations now !!!!! Because why not !!! If these aren’t transparent its all over

[emarezi-backup]

the thing is that i want people to care for me but i struggle to make the bonds that make that thing happen in the first place . that and also the other people at therapy just dgaf. i dont know how to make a difference between putting myself on a pedestal (thinking that i deserve priority bc i do not) and just staying put and hoping to get addressed since its a guided group . the second one also implies trying to relate to very different problems of people that i know there but do not know outside. that probably goes both ways for the others too and it's a question of temperament who gets to do the talking and driving the conversation

had my therapy group today and didnt even get a chance to speak thats great man .somwtimes i want to be the one who gets the advice too

[aspd-culture]

i been searching about ASPD and it seems i actually fit the criteria for it, but i am kinda confused, i dont know how to explain it but here are the symptoms i believe can have but i dont understand to be fully secure:

- "failure to conform social norms with respect to lawful behavior" i dont know if is something, but i do find social norms kinda meh and i dont fully understand it, i even believe that i can ignore a social norm because of this belief, but i dont get in trouble since i will find it more annoying to deal with it rather than "oh this is bad behavior"

- "deceitfullnes, repeated lying, conning others for own pleasure or personal profit" i dont wanna sound like an asshole really, but this happens to me, since before, i learned how to lie very well, i am often finding myself i lie so i can get what i want, but also i lie very much in general, and i believe is more about lying about myself so people can think i am a good person and get praised because of it, relating it more to NPD? is other PD i believe i had and in this case i fit almost all the criteria for it

- "Impulsivity and failure to plan ahead" This happens to me very often, but I don't understand, how is failure to plan ahead related to ASPD? like i mean, for me, i think is more related to how bad i am at organization, but also i am often doing very impulsive things, but i dont know i dont feel like in my case is related to ASPD

- "Irritabily and aggresiveness" this also happens to me, it was worse years before because i got into fights because of it, now i do still get irritable and there can be a point where i am aggressive but i don't get into fights anymore

- "Reckless disregard for safety of self and others" this one too, for me, i put myself in danger and i know is dangerous but i find myself doing it because of other reasons such as self harm and to get attention, but when is about the safety of others is often because i dont know, is not an excuse but seriously i dont know when i am pushing someone of their own safety, but also it can be in purpose but genuinely still don't understand the other person and my actions, maybe related to other things rather than ASPD

- "Lack of remorse, being indifferent to or rationalizing having hurt, mistreated or stolen from another" This one is something i always wanted to reject, but i just cant feel remorse of my own actions, when someone says i hurt them, often i dont understand their situation, is later when im like "oh fuck i did something bad" and i get guilty about it, but it disappears, maybe is again of possible NPD, for the lack of empathy and because when i hurt someone, i think more of how they will perceive me, dont want to rant about it but when it happens i tend to think more about myself and how others will never praise me again, i always try to think of the situation so i can feel bad about it but i really cant, and when i do is because i think about myself rather than others

So, is that, long text, if you dont wanna reply is fine, but i wanna understand better to properly know about ASPD, i relate a lot to pwASPD too. Something to note is that I am not an adult so it could be anything else.

So the first two sound very much like what the ASPD symptom is referring to there. As for the planning ahead one, that one relates to ASPD because, despite what media and such tries to say, one of the main pillars of ASPD is irresponsibility/poor planning/etc. The reason it doesn't sound like ASPD is just bc people harp on the violence and rule breaking symptoms bc they're scarier. Plus the prosocials don't like that they sound like assholes if they admit that we struggle with this disorder too - that it's worse for us than it is for them - and that we aren't some amazing masterminds who ruin lives and laugh. Most of the symptoms of ASPD can be entirely internal, in fact, and hurt no one else.

On top of this, with a disorder birthed from trauma as intense as ASPD is, you're likely not dealing with caregivers that taught you *how* to plan ahead - maybe just expected to do it without direction, maybe expected to learn by being punished when you failed, or maybe neglected so much that they didn't notice and/or care that you were failing to plan ahead. All of that can cause this problem. Kind of like the thing where people realize as adults that the reason they hate cleaning and can't seems to force themselves to do it regularly is because they were never actually taught how, planning ahead also is not an innate skill.

Lastly (outside of ADHD comorbidity which is very common), pwASPD live constantly in this state that the rug could be pulled from us at any second. Either that we may actually d*e from some perceived threat, or that we may have any plans we make taken from us. Instability in caregivers is one big thing that can cause ASPD, and that feeds into this. If you were constantly in a situation where any plan or routine you could rely on might be taken from you at any moment (or if you're just enduring so much abuse/other trauma that it's the only thing you know how to expect), then you won't leave survival mode long enough to make those plans so you never do.

In reference to disregard for the safety of others, not knowing when you're pushing people to/past their limits is very much part of what that means. Intentional or not, it's symptomatic of ASPD bc prosocials can usually tell when they're pushing ppl to those limits.

Everything I didn't comment on seems to also fit the criteria in my mind (of course going blindly off of your descriptions here) not warranting additional comment, and I didn't see a question to be answered in them.

Overall, yeah this sounds (in my completely non professional opinion bc I am not a professional and even if I was which I'm not I'm not *your* professional so I only know the snippet you've shared with me here) like it very much could be ASPD. While there is some very tricky overlap with NPD in ASPD, much of this sounds to me like it isn't heavily influenced by the NPD enough that I would say it's possible it's comorbid if you know you have NPD already. That's not something I can comment too heavily on as I'm not well researched into NPD.

Plain text below the cut:

So the first two sound very much like what the ASPD symptom is referring to there. As for the planning ahead one, that one relates to ASPD because, despite what media and such tries to say, one of the main pillars of ASPD is irresponsibility/poor planning/etc. The reason it doesn't sound like ASPD is just bc people harp on the violence and rule breaking symptoms bc they're scarier. Plus the prosocials don't like that they sound like assholes if they admit that we struggle with this disorder too - that it's worse for us than it is for them - and that we aren't some amazing masterminds who ruin lives and laugh. Most of the symptoms of ASPD can be entirely internal, in fact, and hurt no one else.

On top of this, with a disorder birthed from trauma as intense as ASPD is, you're likely not dealing with caregivers that taught you *how* to plan ahead - maybe just expected to do it without direction, maybe expected to learn by being punished when you failed, or maybe neglected so much that they didn't notice and/or care that you were failing to plan ahead. All of that can cause this problem. Kind of like the thing where people realize as adults that the reason they hate cleaning and can't seems to force themselves to do it regularly is because they were never actually taught how, planning ahead also is not an innate skill.

Lastly (outside of ADHD comorbidity which is very common), pwASPD live constantly in this state that the rug could be pulled from us at any second. Either that we may actually d*e from some perceived threat, or that we may have any plans we make taken from us. Instability in caregivers is one big thing that can cause ASPD, and that feeds into this. If you were constantly in a situation where any plan or routine you could rely on might be taken from you at any moment (or if you're just enduring so much abuse/other trauma that it's the only thing you know how to expect), then you won't leave survival mode long enough to make those plans so you never do.

In reference to disregard for the safety of others, not knowing when you're pushing people to/past their limits is very much part of what that means. Intentional or not, it's symptomatic of ASPD bc prosocials can usually tell when they're pushing ppl to those limits.

Everything I didn't comment on seems to also fit the criteria in my mind (of course going blindly off of your descriptions here) not warranting additional comment, and I didn't see a question to be answered in them.

Overall, yeah this sounds (in my completely non professional opinion bc I am not a professional and even if I was which I'm not I'm not *your* professional so I only know the snippet you've shared with me here) like it very much could be ASPD. While there is some very tricky overlap with NPD in ASPD, much of this sounds to me like it isn't heavily influenced by the NPD enough that I would say it's possible it's comorbid if you know you have NPD already. That's not something I can comment too heavily on as I'm not well researched into NPD.

[l0cal-catb0y]

Hero!Ghoap x God!Reader brainrot

this is mainly about ghoap cuz i didnt focus on them in the first post and they deserve love too!! and i wanna add backstory :33 based off this post i made and i think i want them to be childhood friends!! (its one of my favorite tropes im sorry </3)

once again this is just word vomit !! not my best but it must be shared :DD but also!! let me know if you have any ideas for what reader should be the god of cuz i really have no ideas and i wanna add more details to them!!

definingly have the vibe they would've meet by running into each other playing in a field when they were very young and just ended up sticking together. simon found comfort in johnny's presence and just sort of started following him everywhere he went with johnny just completely okay with dragging this boy around cuz!! he gets to have fun with his friend!! :DD sadly though they have to have reason to become fighters for plot reasons </33 their village gets destroyed, burnt and looted with few survivors left. theyre both distraught and angry with johnny openly wanting to track down the people behind the attack and fuck them up (simon too but hes silent about it) maybe johnny starts getting ready to start that hunt without telling anyone but simon can just read him perfectly and just pulls him aside to tell him that he's coming too.

I feel like along their hunt they would stop and take care of anyone that were causing issues, probably with just small trouble makers but as they become stronger and more experienced they deal with whole gangs of people (they end up getting the names ghost and soap along the way somehow) they become more renowned for their strength and victories that even cities far off know them!! im thinking the group that destroyed their village became an army and overconfident to the point of disrespecting the gods (probably not all but definitely some big ones) so when ghost and soap become bigger names they are given the upperhand with the backing of the gods who wish to put the group back into place. they basically get to the level of demigods !!

romance wise though,,, giggles,,, somewhere along their journey after a hard fight they would confess while patching each other up, the concern for each other far outweighing the fear of rejection <33 the gentle touch of making sure theyre still there and the whispers of love would be so soft after they know its a mutual love omg. their routines change a little afterwards too!! like simon giving johnny little trinkets to have in his pockets (probably something handmade when he cant sleep) and johnny braiding part of simon's hair before a fight (maybe he braids a piece of simon's hair into his own braid and his hair into simon's?)

I don't think they would actively worship one particular god? they would give offerings every so often as thanks for the blessing or in hope of getting some luck with something (finding info or just having good weather) but they are mainly on their own for the most part. yes they are favored more than others but it doesnt mean the gods really care about them yknow? they both know theyre just a means to an end for some of them :((

so when you start looking out for them theyre both just :OO you actually care about them outside of what they can do!! you help them with small things!! your watching eyes comfort simon when he cant sleep!! you guide johnny to peaceful areas for him to relax and draw at!! you send your associated animal to keep watch if they ever both crash after a fight!! they start to add stuff to their routines that relate to you in some way :33 making crafts of your symbols and having one with them for "good luck" or making a small spot for you at every camp they make or talking to you (aka the open air of your spot) about their plans and what they wanna do next!!

idk man brainrot and lack of sleep are getting to me!! im going to rotate these two in this au in my head for the next month ^-^

[edupiii]

The other night I went on a tangent to my friends about the music in Murder Drones and how it’s hard to compare the albums since they are each amazing in their own ways. Despite this, my friend insisted that I compare them, so I did. After writing everything out, she said I should post it so that’s what’s happening!

Welcome to an informal essay about the music in Murder Drones

In this essay, I will be going over the 4 albums created by A.J Dispirito and the strengths within each album. This essay is to show that the music between the albums is unable to be compared to one another as they are all astounding and work wonders for the atmosphere of the overall show.

Feel free to disagree with me and let me know your thoughts!

Murder Drones Pilot Mini-Album

The pilots album could be considered the weakest of the 4. It doesn’t have that many tracks that are reused throughout the other episodes. BUT- it is very strong as it has “Murder Brings” which is the trailer song for the pilot and it’s kind of a banger. I find it not as good as “Eternal Dream” “BITE ME” and “FOREVER” but it’s still super fucking good. In the first album we also have “Click”, “Gin Rummy”, “UZI THE DRONE KILLER” and “Goth Girl Anime Lover VS Wholesome Killer Boy” which are all very good songs that get you hyped for fight scenes. There are a few more mellow songs in the pilot’s album, making it not stand out as much. Despite that, it is also the very album that brought us the iconic Murder Drones theme music, which has been a staple in all future songs throughout the series. It’s not looked at as much as the other albums but it worked for the pilot and that’s all it really needed to do. It was good and is still good.

Murder Drones Volume 1

Next is the first official MD album. Once again, it can be overlooked like the pilots soundtrack since it doesn’t have super gut punchy, kick assy music. HOWEVER- it has a very eerie tone to it since it’s going over the second episode (with the Eldritch J monster) and it takes place in Dolls Room which is scary as fuck. It also gives us a few really good adrenaline pumping songs like “Aaaaahhh”. The song Bathtub” is in this album and it is spooky and intense which I love! Classic horror vibes. We also get “Uuugghhh” in this album which is possibly one of my favourites since it keeps going from energetic to spooky and I find that really funny for some reason (also the scenes this song was used for is hilarious). “Get Prommed” and “The Knife Dance” are INCREDIBLY ICONIC and have that addicting saxophone in it along with lots of grove. I really like “Spooky Flashback? oooooo” since it gives us a first look at the Elliot Manor and what kind of music we will be hearing in the 5th episode. Mind you, it’s not as good as the songs in the 5th episode but for foreshadowing, I think it works beautifully as it just gives us a small idea of what the manor was like for N, V and J. I think the first album is often overlooked but just like the pilot album, it has some wicked shit in it that you can’t ignore.

Murder Drones Volume 2

The second album I think might be my favourite because of the music used for the Elliot Manor flashbacks. There’s something so saddening and cold yet cheerful about them that I just cant shake and I adore them. It’s most definitely the soft piano that does it for me. Im a whore for soft piano music. We also have “Falling…For You??”, “Gentle” and “huggie wuggies” which PULL on my heart strings. The mellow music in this album is so well done and make me weep like a small child. DONT GET ME STARTED ON ETERNAL DREAM- I could write an entirely different essay just on that song alone and its relation to V’s entire character, however, I’m pretty sure that has already been done by many more qualified people than myself so you may go read those.

Then we’ve got the scary music in this album, which is a HUGE leap forward compared to the pilots album and the first album. Songs like “Solver Uzi”, “Heh, Nothing Personal Kid”, “SENTINEL 000D”, “…wow…ok THATS Pretty Dark” “literally just noise (your favourite)” and “Earth” are all phenomenal songs that give the spooks and scares. They are eerie and are drenched in anticipation for what is going to happen next. They give so much emphasis on the danger that these characters are in and can make you feel the same way. They freak you out and that is their job. Personal bias to the second album but it is phenomenal. I feel like people might not listen to the softer music in it which I totally understand, but I love it a lot.

Murder Drones Volume 3

And finally, we have the third album.

To start off, this shit goes incredibly hard with its scary stuff. They injected some sort of chemical into this album. I think it might be the chimes and whispers and church music. They added more eerie sounds in this album and I LOVE IT so much. The album starts STRONG with “When you forget to pray” which is so scary and gross and eerie, I love her. It fit the church scene so well and the song itself is disgustingly horrendous with its churchy vibes yet it makes them sound anything but holy. “Callback Ping”, “Absolute Solver” “…Hey guys, just wanted to say what’s up” and “……run” are TERRIFYING! nothing more can be said about those other than that. They scare the shit out of me and I can’t deal with that. Im pretty sure there is screaming in these ones as well, so that adds to the charm of spook. “Die Mad” is a bit spooky but it GOES SO HARD. UNREASONABLY HARD. But then it gets all soft and sad and makes me weep.

Speaking of weeping; “Hang Out?” and “Falling With You” MAKE ME WANNA KILL MYSELF. YHEY LOVE EACH OTHER SO MUCH AND I LOVE THEM SO MUCH AAGUUUUUGHHHH-

And finally, the kick ass shit in this album is probably what defines it from the others. Each album has eeriness to them or a few songs that get you pumped; but this album? We’ve got “Eternal DESTROYER” 3 different versions of “BITE ME”, “…Uzi and N: The Drone Killers”, and “YOU’RE FREAKIN’ GROUNDED” which all are such good fighting songs and get you hyped up. They are the songs that get YOU wanting to kick ass, and I love it.

Like the others, there is a few mellow songs in this album, but not a ton. “FOREVER”, “ur aight”, and “haha yea dude, that’s sick” are all very good songs since they take place during scenes of walking or talking, not really any big action. Despite that they are all chillish and are incredibly catchy, they all still carry that eerie feeling that something isn’t right and that’s perfect for the series since we continuously know that something isn’t right.

In conclusion, all 4 of the albums created for the Murder Drones series are incredible in different ways. They each have strengths as well as songs that stand out. I wouldn’t say that one is better than the other since they all have songs that fit the episodes that they premiered in. A.J Dispirito has been very consistent with the quality of their music produced throughout the shows run time, keeping a balance of action, eerie, sweet and scary. I think that music for this series may be difficult to make since there’s so many jumps from goofy to scary to cute and so on. You can definitely see Dispirito’s improvment in their work throughout the series, but every song they’ve created has been excellent.

[burnt-tortellini]

Phillip Graves is cursed forever to sleep on a twin sized mattress (feat. soap)

aka line by line breakdown of twin size mattress by the front bottoms and how it relates to gravesoap because i made a joke about it on tiktok and i cant sleep

“this is for the lions living in the wiry broke down frames//of my friends bodies”

a key part of being in a non private military is that the people you’re surrounded with are literally stripped down to being a fighter and to their aggression and how good they are at killing people. having a genuine connection with anyone is hard when basic/SAS training guts you of most of your personality when youre on the job. the 141 in general are good examples of people who slip through the cracks but other examples of people who arent like that that theyre around is people who are part of pmcs like the shadow company who dont have SAS training exactly.

“when the flood water comes it aint gonna be clear//its gonna look like mud//but i will help you swim i will help you swim//im gonna help you swim”

one of the reasons i hc soap putting up with graves’ toxic behaviour is because he sees his past self in him. he sees the internalised homophobia and the self hatred and he wants to help because he knows from experience exactly whats coming, what itll look like and what he wished he had when he was going through it.

“this is for the snakes and the people they bite//for the friends ive made for the sleepless nights//for the warning signs ive completely ignored”

soaps aware hes getting hurt, hes aware that the most graves will let them be seen as is really close friends but hes also aware of the night hes spent lying awake wondering why he went back to graves’ room knowing hes wake up in his anyway. hes seen the warning signs and they are yet to stop him

“its no big surprise you turned out this way//when they closed thier eyes and prayed you would change//and they cut your hair and sent you away”

soap understands why graves is like this, he might not have grown up in southern America but he’s no stranger to the Christian culture surrounding being queer. the military is often seen as an escape from society or the people in your community, they might not have sent him away as such but they definitely pushed him in that direction

“you stopped by my house the night you escaped//with tears in my eyes i begged you to stay//you said ‘hey man, i love you, but no fucking way!’”

while graves’ betrayal was a complete shock to soap i think they both fantasise about what couldve happened if graves told soap beforehand. i personally think that if canon compliant graves ever did confess it was the night before he betrayed them because he knew it would be the last time

“im sure that we could find something for you to do on stage//maybe shake a tambourine or when i sing, you sing harmonies”

in an AU where soap finds out about the betrayal before it happens i think he would try and convince graves to stay and try to carve out a place for him in the 141 so he could switch sides despite them both knowing its not feasible

“it should’ve felt good but i can hear the jaws theme song//on repeat in that back of my mind”

in the lead up to the betrayal i think soap realised something was wrong, graves was making the most of their time together and trying to appreciate what they had while they had it but soap could sense something was wrong even though graves kept denying it

“make sure you kiss your knuckles before you punch me in the face//there are lessons to be learned//consequences for all the stupid things i say”

graves knows that soaps gonna be pissed, he knows hes ruined it and worst of all he knows that the anger soap shows him will he more emotion than graves ever gave him back

“and it is not big surprise you turned out this way//the spark in your eyes, the look on your face//i will not be blamed”

whatever soap thought he saw in graves is gone the second he betrays them. and then it hits him that this was always what was going to happen, this was always the plan and it kill him because he had to convince everyone (cough ghost cough) that they could trust him and he was wrong. thats gonna leave a stain on his reputation

“i wanna contribute to the chaos//i dont wanna watch and then complain//cause i am through with finding blame//that is a decision that i have made”

soap has a bit of a moment after the betrayal where he decides he either wants to never so much look at a man again or just become THE worst person ever when it comes to dating

“she hopes im cursed forever//to sleep on a twin-sized mattress//in somebody’s attic or basement my whole life//never graduating up in size to add another//and my nightmares will have nightmares every night”

soap is PRAYINGG for thjs mans downfall

[messrsrarchives]

you can ignore this if its too personal or annoying im sorry i was just looking for advice from someone whose been here if you have any?

im 16 and theres a lot of reasons why but im living on my friends sofa right now but i cant stay here long and im just here to ask if you have any advice on how to get housed

you dont need to answer im sorry that this is the first thing i send to you i really do enjoy your stuff <3

HEY !! no worries whatsoever. genuinely. this is why i'm so open about this stuff !! i'll put it under the cut and also my dms are ALWAYS open, you can pop in there if you have any questions, or need someone to yell over the phone for you

okay so !! assuming you're from the uk? i assume so if asking me:

i had a really awful experience :/ and i don't say that to put you off but rather like,,, i got most of this advice AFTER i was put in the first homeless shelter. i was couch surfing with a friend with a limited time frame too and these were the routes that i took:

1) social services

as you're under 18, they have a duty of care to make sure that you are in safe housing. i was already in an ongoing case so it was slightly easier, but if it is home related issues that have led to this, you call them (or get your school to contact them) and make them aware that you are currently unable to return home and need somewhere to stay.

from here what they'll do is try to amend things. which is,,, yeah. fucking sucked. i had weeks of them trying to explain how i could just go home and do family therapy as if we hadn't had over 90 cases with them. they're gonna try to send you back but you stand your ground and refuse to - at 16, you have the right to make your own decisions in these scenarios.

they helped me get into a homeless shelter and received further support from them but they may offer temporary care with them (which i've also had before, i was in the foster system for a while, and it isn't as scary as it seems! i was also told by the social worker that this would be temporary if it was the choice made, whilst they looked for more permanent housing)

i also want to add that it was very soon before i turned 18, which may have played a part in their support for my own accom over "rectifying the family" - i would've left at 18 anyway, so they were more supportive of finding alt accom. but there were a lot of people in my shelters that were 16 and just stood their ground to get there.

2) local council

a bit trickier because it's only at 18 that they have a duty of care over you BUT i did utilise them !!

i got rejected from the first 6 homeless shelters because they "didn't know what ward to put me on" (sadly, a massive reality for trans people)

so what i did then was hound my council: calling them up multiple times a day, turning up at the door of the civic center to speak to people, SLEEPING outside the civic center and refusing to move for police (i do NOT recommend this one but,,, it was the most effective. councils hate looking bad and a teenager sleeping outside their building?? yeah, worked a treat.)

side note here that whilst they aren't an official means by which to get support, if you're sleeping rough you can contact the police/turn up to the station and they will also find support for you!! again, not official but they can't turn you away if you're sleeping rough.

over 18s will get put on the housing list, under 18s will be connected to social services, temporary care, or shelters - and from there, more permanent solutions are found

3) youth groups

this was my biggest help !!! i really recommend these !!! the issue i had was that i was from one county, but my sixth form was in another so i was in that one. it caused some issues with social services etc as they tried to communicate between counties (insane because it was literally a 20 minute drive between the two but whatever) so i was in communication with social services from my home county that wanted me to get back there with no accom organised, and youth groups in the county i was actually in to try find somewhete to stay. a mess but they were incredible.

mine was literally "(county) young and homeless" - an organisation that helped people under 18 get into accommodation

these were the best !!! i was connected with someone who then communicated with the homeless shelter i ended up in, and i stayed connected with them until i found my supported accommodation

they have these in most, if not all, towns !! if not explicitly for homeless people, they absolutely will have a youth council/group to reach out to to get support

i find these especially helpful as they deal with complicated situations with a lot more empathy than social services and councils, and you get a direct connection. you're not just a number on a page or a name on the top of a file, you're connected with a case worker who communicates with you day in and day out - idk, it just felt nice to have someone that was voluntarily on my side rather than corrupt systems that are underfunded and have (mostly) awful staff

AND FINALLY: supported accommodations

this one i didn't know about until i was already in the YMCA, but most towns have a YMCA/other supported accom organisations (p.s difference between supported accom and homeless shelter: homeless shelter is free of charge and for a limited time - mine was 6 weeks as a crash pad - whereas supported accom is typically an 18 month tenancy with rent. if you're under 16, you're fine here!! they sort it all out, but for peace of mind for anyone else that potentially reads this, housing benefit covers most of it !! i quit my job because it was making my rent higher with less HB, and it dropped from £200+ a week to £11 a week which you get through universal credit)

these operate under an open door policy !!

i had to go through the homeless shelter and a short application process for the YMCA (literally like a few days and one phone interview where they get a bit of background) SOOO you can't just walk into one and get housed, obviously. especially because they're all incredibly overrun with the housing crisis etc.

what they 100% offer though is the option to walk in and speak to staff, who will then support you in finding accommodation. you might need to call up to do this, but we had so many people just buzz in and ask to speak to staff (all of which were either housed with us or sent elsewhere to be housed)

AND THAT'S ALL I CAN THINK OF RIGHT NOW !!! i hope that's enough avenues to try, and i'm sorry you're in this situation. i'm not going to sugarcoat because we both know how fucking awful it is to be in this space, but i will say that no matter how cliche and half-hearted it sounds, it really does get better and the support IS out there, it just sucks that we have to fight so hard for it.

but yeah, i hope this helps !!! if you have any questions or need resources sent over or someone to call up the council and yell at them, orrrr even just someone to talk to who gets it, my dms are always open <3

i hope you get the support that you need 🫂

[aureli-us]

okay halo people new question: what do you think chief actually looks like??? i LOVE masked characters (cough miraak) because i love the chance to sort of invent them physically below the mask. for that reason i hope to never actually see a canon john face in the games (despite being the literal greenest newbie to play halo on the planet rn) BUT i really enjoy trying to think of it myself??? some ideas i got browsing:

from the halo: escalation comic so the site said. i LOVE his baby blues i love how deep and colorful they are. i cant tell if he looks a little tan under there or it's just the shadow? i've seen somewhere the games or books describe him as too pale bc he rots in his armor all the time lmao. BUT i really really enjoy the oceanic eyes. idk if this comic ever shows his full face, i saw others did, but i would be SO interested to see what they do with the rest of him bc he'd probs look sick as fuck in the dark horse style

THIS ONE to me is gorgeous. i 100% love his hair here, it's exactly how i imagined it. brown and short, but like, military short but NOT a buzz (sorry i hate him w a buzzcut. its most probable but i cant😭) big fan of the widow's peak/hairline and tbh i really like his scars? im all for him being fucked up. part of me also wonders if his face would possibly be more protected??? but also all i know about spartans is that becoming a spartan Hurts so maybe they're like,,,, GMO scars

(ik i legit haven't touched deviantart for like....a decade) THIS was a cool collection. OP points out some similarities that are interesting (mainly his short brown hair, straight nose, and SCRUFF🥰🥰🥰). my favorite favorite favorite is probably second column from left, three down, the one where he has 117 buzzed into his undercut. that shit goes fuckin HARRRRRRRDDDDDDD. i tried to reverse search it but i couldn't rly find the OG of that one, which is sad 😔

that's all!!! i just thought it'd be cool to get ppl's thoughts. i saw a lot of comments that were basically like "chief has no face to me, he's the helmet" and tbh it makes a lot of sense, esp since that's legit how he was designed for the express purpose of first person feeling/relatability. feel free to reply or dm me your ideas!!!

[moash]

ok i just have to mention i love that ur asks is named spanreed... genius omg.

no hate but wow you post regularly ive been seeing alot of ur posts. very interesting. i do not like moash but i am allowed to dislike characters. i agree he deserves more nuance then everyone gives him. i dislike him in a i dislike his character not him... i dont know how to describe it. you know when you consume a media and the bad guy is so well written you dislike them but also in a 'this is a really good character props to the creator of this media' way? honestly my main reason for disliking him is tryna get kaladin to kill himself (i know his reasons behind it and why he did it and yes i do know its cuz moash would rather kaladin be dead than like him) but as someone who relates to kaladin he just cant live that down. mm very well written character yes he should not be just an object for 'haha fuck moash'

(and also i admit i may like elhokar too much for how sucky he was i was genuinely devastated in oathbringer im still devastated </3)

anyways mmmm very interesting blog yes yes i shall continue to read ur posts. i thought i shall give you this ask. you dont rlly gotta answer tho. i like seeing both sides of a problem.

ok no hate, i’m glad you seem to like my posts and my blog, and i agree that you’re allowed to dislike characters, whether or not you vibe with a character is not a moral action, there are legitimate reasons to dislike moash and that’s fine, there’s no such thing as “liking elhokar too much” if you like him, then you like him, that’s fine! my posts aren’t meant to be like “you HAVE to like moash and HAVE to hate elhokar” they’re meant to point out to people the ways in which a lot of popular opinions about these characters are flawed, but if at the end of the day you’re like “i get that elhokar sucks in these ways but i still like him” great! the way you feel about moash is how i feel about elhokar. i really enjoy him as a character, i find him interesting, and i recognize he has some good qualities, but i don’t LIKE him. that’s fine!

however! why are you in my askbox telling me about it as if you want me to assure you that it’s ok? you don’t need absolution, and i couldn’t give it to you anyway. you’re not the first person to write paragraphs in my askbox that boil down to “i don’t like moash but NOT for stupid reasons, is that ok?” to be honest, i don’t care? and it’s kind of exhausting to sort through all the moash hate i get in my comments and such, because he’s a character i like and reading people say “i hate him” over and over is tiresome and saddening. so like open message to all readers, if you hate moash but enjoy my posts and agree with takes, but he’s just not for you for whatever reason, that’s fine and you don’t need my permission to continue doing that, but don’t send me asks like this 👍

i do have to say, i enjoy that the last paragraph of your ask, you sound like pattern. mmmmm lies yes yes very interesting. love that for you 💕

[etherealspacejelly]

hi dad, i'm having some internal conflict. i've always been a really anxious person (which is probably due to undiagnosed anxiety disorders) and i've never really "fit in." i've been treated as weird all my life. i've never understood tone and i get in a lot of trouble with my parents for this (even though i've explained i can't control it), i go nonverbal for brief periods of time occassionally, loud noises and bright lights cause me pain like extreme headaches, i always feel the need to follow self-created routines in order to feel safe, i don't understand social boundaries all too well, i intensely hyperfixate, i'm extremely hyperempathetic, etc. i've never understood why i'm the way i am. then i started learning more about autism and i think i may have it. many of my autistic friends seem to think so.

but my parents don't believe me and don't like me researching mental health stuff. they don't think i'm "autistic enough" because my mom used to work with autistic kids who were almost always nonverbal and on a more extreme end of the spectrum. i mask all the time too, as a defense mechanism since i get in so much trouble for misunderstanding. hell, my parents won't even get me an official anxiety diagnosis (even though i've had symptoms since the moment the signs can appear) because they think "labels don't matter."

and the big problem that comes along with this is, i don't want to self diagnose and seem disrespectful to diagnosed autistic people. i've done a lot of research and gotten a lot of opinions from neurodivergent people in my life, but i still feel fake because i have no access to a diagnosis. so many people have told me to try to get one and my parents completely refuse.

is it okay to self diagnose? will diagnosed people find this disrespectful? i'm not exactly sure how to go about this. it'll most likely be several years at best before i can get medically diagnosed.

tldr; i may be autistic but i have no access to a diagnosis and feel guilty about self diagnosing. any advice?

thank you and sorry if this was too vent-ish, i just wanted to see if you had any thoughts <3 feel free to ignore this ask if it's too overwhelming /gen

baby. honey. sweetpea. let me tell you something

autistic people actually dont care if you self diagnose. in fact, many of us are self diagnosed. diagnoses can be inaccessible for many reasons, and its perfectly understandable if you cant or dont want to get one

i can absolutely relate to you. my mum works with disabled kids too, and insisted that i couldn't be autistic because she "would have known". she considers herself an expert, but somehow missed all the signs in me. i guess because i am also quite high masking.

you definitely sound autistic to me, and if other neurodivergent people who know you agree then you probably are. autistic people can sense each other lol

i remember once when i friend of mine came to me and was like "hey btw im autistic" and i was like "yeah i know. you told me" and they were like. "um. no i couldnt have told you i only got diagnosed a few days ago and this is the first time we've spoken since then" and i was like. oh. i just Sensed it, you know? i just fuckin knew

so yes. you can self diagnose. thats perfectly fine. and if anyone tells you that you cant or that you're somehow "harming the autistic community" you can tell them to fuck off. self diagnosis does not harm the autistic community in any way, but it can really benefit people like you.

i hope someday you can get the accommodations you need and deserve. in the meantime, please give yourself grace. you're trying your best. and im proud of you, ok?

[spacedlexi]

Have you read the new clementine book? I'd like to hear your thoughts on it :D

i hate being reminded that it even exists 😭 out of grim curiosity i usually check to see whats going on at each release but its just..........................................its just so bad...............................................................................................

like its so out of character that i cant consider it canon even if i wanted to......... and its so BORING too!!! its so lame...........its So lame...

it doesnt make me sad anymore at least it just makes me laugh now (especially now after book 2) but like....darkly...just like... Oof...... oof......... but yeah the way clem is written specifically is actually laughable im sorry but that really is tangerine

i hate when characters get reverted just to retell the same story. like its doubly insulting. and its pretty much what tillie did with clem. and its BORING!!! and i just have to reiterate again that its also laughable. its just....painful honestly 💀 the plot is boring the characters are boring clem is a mess and her pre-existing (EXTREMELY IMPORTANT) relationships to characters from the game are basically non-existent. and we're not having any INTERESTING discussions!!! what are the themes what are the messages what is tillie trying to say here? im getting a big load of reused character arcs and what feels new falls flat on its face. clem isnt even a shadow of her former self shes a different character entirely. and she is crying waaaay too much. shes got the anger of S3 clem and not even a Fraction of the emotional regulation S1 clem had. and she was 8 then....

and her naming her prosthetic 'kenny' is fucking stupid

ive seen some people say that it would actually be an interesting comic if clem was removed from the story but i dont agree. its fucking lame and boring. i love the zombie setting for the stories it allows a writer to tell. for the emphasis on character it allows. and this is probably the most boring piece of zombie related media ive ever laid my eyes on. this definitely feels like it was written by a romance writer trying to figure out how the zombie setting Works as a storytelling device. with a beloved preexisting character that theyre Also trying to find the voice of. and we're watching it in real time. and its Painful.....

S4 will Always be the True end to clementines story. its too perfect. and it also marked the end of telltale. it was a love letter to the series. its very fitting for both clem as a character but also as a last goodbye from a beloved studio. the still not bitten teams signatures on the hallway walls always gets a sob outta me. that final goodbye... clem was meant to spend the rest of her days at ericsons with the community she helped cultivate. ive said it a million times but her losing her leg is Symbolic. the first episode isnt titled "done running" for no reason. clem never Liked being on the road. all she ever wanted was a safe place to call home. with people she trusted and loved. and now the comics are retconning all of that just to retell the same story but Badly. why should i give a shit about that?

whats unfortunate is that i DO think there are still things that could be explored with a post S4 clem. shes got what she wanted: a home. (relative) safety. community. however she has new limitations due to her injury. how would she adjust to this? after spending so many years on the road? after having to do so much independently? only having herself to rely on for the most part? these are the goals im trying to achieve with my own short little fic (that ive been working on for too long):

she would never Want to leave ericsons. home is what shes been looking for since S1. but now that shes Safe. now that she can turn off survival mode a little bit and actually Relax for once. shes going to begin Processing EVERYTHING shes been through up until this point. the true healing starts Now. but she cant run from it. so how would she reconcile these things? the whole point of ericsons was that they were a community of traumatized kids who found love and support in each other when they had nothing else. aj says it himself (S4 is Very clear in its messaging). THAT is the perfect setting for clem to ALSO have this grieving/acceptance process that she Desperately needs. everything shes been through up until this point is going to hit her like a truck. the true healing starts NOW. shes no longer fighting for her life 25/8. and when the brain can get out of survival mode it begins True processing mode.

one of the issues with the comics is that it puts her BACK into survival mode. but of clems own choosing! no matter how much her processing hurts and no matter how much she could want to run from those feelings, she has always wanted True Community more than Anything. having to reconcile those feelings is interesting! i Do think tillie is trying to have some of these conversations. but they all fall flat. her understanding of clem as a character is weak. and the environment shes in is not conducive to the healing process she wants clem to have. its a mess. i will always stand firmly in the camp that these comics should have taken place in the gap between seasons 3 and 4. that change alone wouldve boosted the comic. but unfortunately they chose.....This

anyway. back to my own post S4 adventures :)

[r-0-x-4-s]

so... i watched tottmnt and i didn't love it

also why isnt this show being hated on whaaaat, every tmnt show has to go through the initial hate, thats like the law /hj

tw opinions under the cut

it just felt so... empty?? i dont really know how to explain it but, the lack of brothers interacting and anything ninja related, kinda made me frown

why did it feel nothing like a tmnt show??? my brother said "it looks like it took some ideas from rottmnt and just... made it worse", and in a way i agree? its like, in a way, this show wants to please everyone but doesn't have the balls to go full original and new like rise did...

i was very optimistic about it before its release, the turtles in high-school is something i dreamed of when i was a child! AND THE SHOW JUST BLUE BALLED ME??? I GET JUST SOME MENTION ABT WHAT THEY ARE DOING IN SCHOOL BUT ITS NEVER SHOWN AND THAT MAKES ME GRRRR

IT COULD HAVE BEEN SO EASY FFS, doing something none of the show before had ever done but nooooo u get two mini arcs

and lets talk about these arcs:

bishop arc: i really liked the general plot of this one ok, but since the first ep i could see one of the main problems with tottmnt, EACH EP IS ABT A SINGLE TURTLE retelling their version of what happened in the same moment, that could be cool, BUT THAT MEANS THE BROTHERS INTERACT WITH EACHOTHER IN ONLY 2 EPISODES CIRCA

AND I HATE IT SM!

also why does everyone kinda have the same personality (by this i mean cus they react basically the same in every situation, apart if there's a computer/something technological, then donnie would use it/the other 3 would say something abt like "donnie could use it")

and they are so chill abt their problems (leo's self worth issues, raph's anger issues) ? like everything is so lighthearted and they already know how to deal and therapy talk??

i wonder how they will get to grow as characters cus as of now, they are already way more mature than any other tmnt version???

goldfin arc:... so???? IM TRYING TO FIND SOMETHING POSITIVE TO SAY ABT IT REAL HARD, maybe it will come to me later so lets start with things i despise abt the show!

uno: I HATE THAT THEY PAIRED EACH OTHER WITH A "COUSIN", I WANT MY TURTLES INTERACTING WITH EO

deux: i hate that they have "cousins" 😭 why is every character related to them (tbf this was already from the movie so u can just ignore it) it makes the world sm smaller and takes out so many known villains... also i hate scum sm, also shes the turtles' cousin too so her relationship with splinter is kinda even weirder

(tbf it could be that i hate the cousins thing after i came back from my vacation surronded by my huge family, AND HAVING TO SPEND SO MANY DAYS WITH MY SO FUCKING MANY COUSINS)

три: the way that the stories are told, apart that it makes it look like nothing is canon? ive seen many fans confused about it, but i think that both stories actually happened. the only reason i dont like it is cus... it clashes with the choice of having a single turtle each ep so hard

like whats the point of starting the arc with a turtle narrating, but the next ep it will be focused on someone else?? and then ending it with the first one closing it like as if he had been the one talking all the time

quatro: uhhh by this time i found things i like so i want to talk about them too, but! i feel like this arc is so much worse than the bishop one and horrible for a closure.

the enemies are uhhhhh something, the stakes are lower than my will to live and we get poop jokes too <3

cinco: WHY DOES THE INTRO NOT HAVE LYRICS, EVERY TMNT INTRO IS A BANGER, THATS THE RULE!! U CANT BREAK IT OMG

six: WHERE IS MONDO GECKO, THE ONLY COUSIN I LIKED AND WANTED TO SEE MORE OF

sept: this leo isnt leoing and april's personality just being "girl with the phone and recording"

восемь: DONNIE AND MIKEY ALWAYS REFERENCING TO RANDOM AMERICAN PEOPLE OR OTHER POP CULTURE THINGS, I UNDERSTOOD 6% OF THEIR JOKES

by the second arc my brother started loudly sighing and glare at me every time donnie/mikey would make a "joke" we wouldn't understand, i started beating him to feel something

NOW THE STUFF I LIKED ABOUT THE SHOW

one: THE ANIMATION IS GREAT! im not the biggest fan of the artstyle but thats my personal bias, i like it being 2d! (i still like rise's animation and fluidity more, but THAT studio is impossible to beat, im still destroyed they dropped lmk <\3)

due: i liked the detective that hated birds, he brought a chaotic energy no one has in this show

três: THERE WASNT ANY APRILN4RDO THANK FUCKING GOD (i wrote this but then my brother made me notice the murales and now idk if i should take this out or myself)

четыре: i love hun and him being an animal activist is the cutest

and thats it ig?

tldr: i think its a mid series, it does nothing remarkably bad but it doesnt do anything remarkably good.

i finished and it left me nothing (it left me longing for more of rise actually)

though, its early to say it cus we have just 12 episodes! ofc i hope it will get better!!

(ALSO BEFORE SOMEONE SAYS ANYTHING ABT TARGET AUDIENCE, I WASNT EVEN IN THE RISE ONE AND I ENJOYED IT JUST FINE

also WHAT CHILD WOULD WATCH THIS OVER SOMETHING HYPERACTIVE AS RISE??? OR EDGY AS 2012/2003??? OR FUNKY AS 1987???)

also im autistic abt tmnt but in particular abt leonardo, i dont like this leo = my enjoyment of the show is very low

so until they get leo's character right, i will have spite in me

[catboyklug]

sam & max hcs

title

this is specifically for sam & also max bc im most confident w my interpretations of them but once i play & finish tdp i'll make a post for every single other character .

quick disclaimer that this is for my sorta-AU thing where i make sense of the games and cartoon and comics by saying that each was an autobiographical (or just biographical) piece of media that they signed their rights away to. the comics were more or less exactly what happened, the cartoon was scripted half the time (with the bad day on the moon episode actively having been staged) and the games are more or less 1:1 to what happened except for the occassional references to them being. games.

also this isnt a totally exhaustive list

sammy

canon to get it outta the way: he's black, bisexual, autistic and might be trans & objectum (i hc him to definitely be the last two lmao) . i hc he has Narcissistic Traits tee em and also might have OCD

he started developing arthritis in his 20's, which was made only worse by his horrible posture due to his career path of Massive Fucking Nerd. though he fixed his back posture-wise by the time he formed the freelance police, he still is in a lot of pain near constantly.

even when he makes jokes, he wants to be taken seriously at all times. he wants you to laugh at his cleverness, not at the fact that you find him inherently funny. he tends to take this a bit far sometimes, which is part of one of the many reasons as to why he treated max so terribly in the early telltale games

since he was a pup he's tried to hide the fact he's bisexual, even if he's completely normal abt max being out as gay and doesn't see an issue with it in any sense of the term

he really wanted to be an engineer for years, but the intense sexism of the field, a desire to stick around with max, and the fact that other jobs would pay him better lead him to abandon the thought

though he wouldn't mind having children, he doesn't actively want them as much as max does. this doesn't mean he dislikes children at all, though - he actually likes them more than max does, at least conceptually

not too long after the cartoon's release, he lost contact with most of his family, excluding ruth. this was fully intentional on his part: max's refusal to talk to his family except at gatherings he stole food and drugs from inspired him to take more control of his life and contact with people he's related to

he sort of wants to grow his hair out again, but isn't sure what style to get... (i like drawing him w afros though)

completely opposite to max's feelings, sam feels a strictly familial or platonic attraction to lumpy. and platonic being based offa that plato fun fact is very very definitely relevant here i think (im sorry)

if he went with any other job, it'd have to be letterist, full stop. he has several styles of handwriting and they're all gorgeous

he's a super sweet, incredibly silly drunk, and lets himself relax and show more of his dog mannerisms when drunk enough (thank you celebrity poker 2 i love you)

maxamillion

canonically a narcissistic psychopath who might have schizophrenia. its ok i can reclaim him<333 (no i cant but my partner can) he also has a horrible family life but his family stuck together out of mutual hatred and a desire to reap society's rewards for the nuclear standard

this horrible shithead has prolly claimed to have every physical disability at some point but he's only been diagnosed w/ hypermobile joint disorder / ehler-dahlos

in the more modern time of 2024, he usually sticks to only mocking people for things that are a. traits he shares with them or b. actually disturbing, inhumane or generally Yucky

he's wanted kids for years, which is why he's constantly not-so-subtly mentioning it.

he's a deeply unprofessional drag queen AND drag king and loves playing around with both sides of the coin. he also does drag creature stuff but that's just how he normally looks so!

thanks to the autism and schizophrenia he's very touch averse. the only people he really wants touching him are sam (and sometimes, maybe, rarely, flint paper)

to say that he doesn't have any familial affection for lumpy is understating it. he uses lumpy as his personal (and fully consenting) stimtoy whenever he feels like it, regardless of where or who might see 'em.

he sometimes pretends he's still president to make people do stuff for him. this only works on sam though

though he's physically capable of handwriting so gorgeous it rivals sam, he saves that for the disgustingly cheesy, 'anonymous' love letters he sends him every year or seven

he's a mainer. a mainiac if ya will. grew up closer to the south and he's got some relatives from mass so he's got that masshole/bostoner accent. he's usually good at hiding his accent, but it's obvious when you ask him to say shit like "clam chowder" and "lobster" and "fish"

though he hates most country music, he still loves johnny cash

HES A SYSTEM BTW!!!!

botha them

they invented paralell play. sam w his computers and his papers and max with his drawing and stabbing the desk until it looks like a modern art piece

they're both extremely jealous of other people, but somehow have both missed that. sam's worried he's too jealous and overprotective, while max thinks he could stand to be a little more obsessive

one of their favorite things to do together is go to the comic book store and laugh at how horrible their childhood favorite comics have gotten (or always were)

every wedding shown is canon in some way, but around the telltale games sam started thinking they were just 'ironic' and 'a joke' and etc. despite the EXTREMELY high budget each had. he knows better now

max's whole "not making fun of anyone unless they're enough like him (or suck)" actually extends to sam as well. he's more than fine with making fun of someone bc they're fat or whatever despite the fact he clearly isn't. this is MOSTLY because he keeps forgetting he and sam don't share every single experience.

though sam is against drinking as a whole, the two sometimes go out to horribly shitty bars to get the worst in junk food & beer. every time they do, max happily proclaims that it was the best date EVER.

max almost likes sam's singing, sometimes, but this is usually only because he just really likes sam's voice

neither of them know how to use modern technology. when one finds out a single way a single program or feature works, they excitedly show the other like they just found the missing link between humans and neanderthals or whatever

sam helps with max's injections since max really seriously can't handle needles. it's the worst for the both of them, but the treats and snacks and ten-hour-long movie binges after help with the fear

generally speaking, max can get up and out of bed any time from around 6 to 13. sam gets up at 6:30 or 7:45 exactly every day, which means he usually makes breakfast if he feels up to cooking.

other than the aforementioned horrible bars, they have a lot of 'weird' date locations, like the dog park, the local sewer system, hell, etc.

yeay

[terraliensvent]

i was mistaken

anons i come to you today with an apology, my previous post seems to be based on a metric fuckton of lies and misinfo

to start, im gonna link this post, which goes over the origin of this whole issue

im also gonna go ahead and be done with censoring red, since the cat's kinda out of the bag on their edentity and its necessary for proper proof. Red = legion in all screencaps

so after my post was dropped, Red was also making their own somewhat callout on TH. i dont know if it's been deleted since frankly I don't care to find it. anyways

my post and Red's callout were both dropped like bombs in terra server, there was a lot of arguing and zaga actually gave a screen recorded video of DMs they had on instagram with Red. this was pretty damning, and lots of people came back to Red to try and figure out what really happened, seeing as Red had presented the situation as:

they were banned unfairly and out of nowhere

they had no clue who could have made the complaint

the only person who could have made it was zaga, who had issues with them based on a debate months ago and they since hadnt really interacted with them

well this turned out to be a whole crock of bullshit!

first, red showed a screencap that their last interaction with zaga was actually a week ago as opposed to being a “months old issue that is getting dragged back up” (link)

then, Red sent these screenshots that completely changed the narrative. we went from "this guy i had an argument with a few months ago is trying to get me banned everywhere" now to "i was saying crazy shit about this guy and now theyre reasonably upset with me"

here's the full gallery of proof against Red, courtesy of zaga

and here's a discussion a few people had with zaga relating to it, gives some good context and really wraps the whole thing up

as a small afterword i want to apologize for playing a part in the spread of misinfo, hopefully this post is proper retribution for that (i do consider myself more of a reporter above all else) additionally, while it's clear now who is in the wrong/right here, there are still critiques to be made on the handling of the situation on the part of terraliens staff. The caginess with any sort of proof makes it difficult for someone to truly know what they're even being banned for, and what accusations they're defending against. the argument could be made that if proper context from staff was given, this situation wouldn't have even unfolded, but of course hindsight is 20/20. in the future it might be better to give better context or evidence to the banned person so they know what they're supposed to be proving incorrect, as opposed to saying "someone said you're harassing them, prove you didn't."

As for the others who played a part in spreading my post, I don't mean to speak for them, however it does seem like many are regretful after now seeing the full picture. since the argument was made that both sides should be heard, it was a pretty big oversight to not look for the OTHER other side in this; i think most are painfully aware of that now.

in conclusion:

do not harass anyone here. im gonna give all parties the benefit of the doubt and say that:

Legion is a misinformed, immature kid who really handled this like shit, and its probably best that theyre banned and blocked by zaga all things considered (this isnt a reason to like, pray on their downfall though. just ignore them at worst, sure they fucked up here but it seems they really just need to become more mature and learn more about best practices when interacting and dear god do not shit talk people like that)

Zaga was telling the truth about this situation. have whatever opinions you want to have about isopups or them outside of this, but there is no denying that legion presented a false situation and zaga was in fact being continually messaged and had rumors spread about them from legion

the outsiders/orbiters of the situation were given a false injustice and ran with it. personally i cant say i blame them a ton for wanting to spread the word about what seemed to be YET ANOTHER terra staff oversight, because so many people just want to bury their heads in the sand about every issue that goes on here. additionally, upon learning that the situation was severely different from how it was originally presented, many turned around and began critiquing legion for the shit they did.

i think thats about enough coverage of this, im gonna refrain from posting asks i get about the situation trying to paint a different picture since honestly it doesnt seem like it needs much more dissection. lets not beat a dead horse.