#and the people of south park are going to point and laugh

[boxwinebaddie]

i am so sorry about this, but for iconic and comedic purposes, and because i think it is my only chance...i think because put jk in all the clean, sleek, minimalistic dark academia fits ( and made him the fkn scariest top dom motherfucker alive >.> ) and put rm!stan as raven in all the thotty gothy hot topic rockstar boy looks ( ilu tiny pants ) ...

i think it's only fair that...

my bitchy, ginger, picky snobby ricky bobby ken doll son, AKA, red hot tire siren, toxic orange pit viper and mean green newjay devil -- who wears more comme de garcons/moshino than prada, imo -- espn celebpretty sh(it) boy, twitter's favorite #cred#head, /my/ precious daytona 500 winning pookie ( dirtbag ) and the #supreme tmz trashed-and-slated nastyboy of nascar racing, the one, the only...

Kyle 'Break Check!' Broflovski <3

should get to wear all the dramatic af, xxxtreme sportyspice, ubergay nightmarish perish hilton, twinky talladega nights, white #trashion, vodka&redheadbull, apple bottom jeans boots w the fur club fits <3

( also just for shits and gigs, pls note: toolshed stan is a super casual, fashionably challenged but unbothered old carhartt beanie, oversized flannel n beat up work boot wearin king...so i'm laaugghingsdk )

like...i am sorry, but this is the right answer:

[inthedayswhenlandswerefew]

Where Will All The Martyrs Go [Chapter 2: I’m The Son Of Rage And Love]

Series summary: In the midst of the zombie apocalypse, both you and Aemond (and your respective travel companions) find yourselves headed for the West Coast. It’s the 2024 version of the Oregon Trail, but with less dysentery and more undead antagonists. Watch out for snakes! 😉🐍

Series warnings: Language, sexual content (18+ readers only), violence, bodily injury, med school Aemond, character deaths, nature, drinking, smoking, drugs, Adventures With Aegon, pregnancy and childbirth, the U.S. Navy, road trip vibes, Jace is here unfortunately.

Series title is a lyric from: “Letterbomb” by Green Day.

Chapter title is a lyric from: “Jesus Of Suburbia” by Green Day.

Word count: 6.2k

💜 All my writing can be found HERE! 💜

Let me know if you’d like to be added to the taglist 🥰

On the shores of the Susquehanna River, just north of Harrisburg, you find a Wawa with no gas: bags on all the pumps, cars with their fuel caps unscrewed and dangling. This is a common courtesy adopted en masse, like rationing during the World Wars or flying American flags after 9/11. It signals that a car has already been siphoned, no gasoline to be found here, no transparent flammable gold made of eons-past decomposition. You wonder if in a few million years, some unfathomable new apex species will be drilling your liquefied remains from the lightless layers of the earth to power their spaceships.

“Then we got sent to Joint Base Anacostia-Bolling,” Rio continues, gnawing on a piece of beef jerky, Jack Link’s in a red bag, teriyaki. Mercifully, whoever took the gas left some of the food. You are sitting in the parking lot, a quaint zombie apocalypse picnic, trail mix and Rice Krispies Treats, Herr’s potato chips and Tastykakes, warm soda sipped from plastic bottles. Luke and Rhaena are on the roof of the Tahoe. Jace is tearing the convenience store apart; he is convinced the employees must have kept a gun somewhere in case of robberies. You know he’s fine. You can hear him banging around and swearing in there.

“Then we built some schools and a hospital in Djibouti,” you say.

Aegon is baffled yet intrigued. “Djibouti…?”

“It’s on the Horn of Africa, near Ethiopia and Somalia.”

Luke snorts. “It’s nice of you to assume he knows where Africa is.”

“Huh.” Aegon tosses a green M&M into his mouth. “Djibouti is horny.”

Rio says: “And after that we spent like six months in Key West, and then we got shipped to Corpus Christi, where Chips very narrowly avoided getting impregnated by, marrying, and inevitably acrimoniously divorcing a Marine.”

Everyone laughs except Aemond, who gives you a teasing smirk. “Did you really?”

“Uh, no. He asked me out, I ghosted him, that’s as far as it went.”

“Why’d you ghost him?” Baela says, crunching on Utz Cheese Balls.

Aegon turns to Rio. “You want a Honey Bun?”

“You’re my Honey Bun,” Rio replies. Aegon smiles, his sunburn flushing darker.

You shrug, eat a handful of candied almonds, tell a half-truth. “I just didn’t like him enough.”

Rhaena yelps and points: a snake, black and maybe five feet long, is slithering across the parking lot. It passes beneath the shade of the Tahoe and then continues towards the bushes. A moderate amount of panic erupts.

Helaena glances up from her notebook. “Rat snake. Not venomous.”

Rhaena shudders. “Well, I still don’t like it.”

“Where were you stationed next?” Daeron asks Rio.

“Chinhae, South Korea. Wicked cool place. The people love Americans, the food is incredible. We were there to rebuild a pier that got wrecked in a typhoon. They have these cute dolphin-looking things, they’d swim right up to the edge of the water with fish in their mouths to try to give to us. Like cats bringing home mice for their owners.”

“Finless porpoises,” you say.

“Yeah, those. And after Korea, it was Diego Garcia.”

“Diego…what?” Rhaena says.

Aegon turns to Luke. “Try to act like I’m stupid for not knowing where that is.”

“Diego Garcia is a tiny little island in the middle of the Indian Ocean,” you say, a bit wistfully. “It’s technically owned by the British, but we share a base there, we use it for airfields and to refuel submarines, things like that. We were renovating the housing facilities for Camp Thunder Cove. At night we’d go to the beach, have a few beers, look out into the ocean and it was just…nothing. Wide open dark nothingness for as far as you could imagine.”

“That’s what we need now,” Helaena murmurs as she makes elegant cursive annotations in her notebook, the cover picturing different species of spiders, a pinktoe tarantula, a green lynx spider, a black widow. “Someplace to go where no one will find us.”

“So you’ve known each other since basic training.” Aemond’s remaining blue eye shifts between you and Rio, like he’s still trying to puzzle it out. There’s really no mystery. You’re friends, and you’ve always been friends, and you’ve never been more than friends, despite many of your fellow seamen’s jokes to the contrary.

You tear open a Slim Jim. Aemond rebandaged your hands this morning, though they barely hurt anymore; he touches you with a clinical, focused restraint. “Not quite that long. Rio enlisted a few months before I did, so we weren’t at Great Lakes together, and then carpenters do technical school in Gulfport, Mississippi near Biloxi, and electricians train at Sheppard Air Force Base in Texas. We met after we were both assigned to Naval Mobile Construction Battalion 1.”

“The First and The Finest,” Rio quotes the motto, grinning. “The original Seabees, founded during World War II. People called our battalion the Pioneers, which…is kind of ironic now.”

Aegon says, munching noisily on trail mix: “It’ll be so appropriate when you end up dying of a broken leg or the flu or in some other totally preventable way.”

“It’s so crazy, people died of anything back then,” Luke marvels gravely. “Tuberculosis, pneumonia, infections, starving, freezing, poisoning, getting kicked by a horse, giving birth…”

Rhaena shoots him a fearsome look and Luke shuts up, but of course he can’t take it back. There is a long uncomfortable silence punctuated only by birdsong and Jace’s muffled outbursts from inside the Wawa. Everyone looks at Baela, concerned, pitying, entirely unable to do anything to improve her situation. She is still eating Cheese Balls with one orange-stained hand, but the other rests on her belly.

“Clearly, the timing is less than ideal,” Baela says after a while, and if she’s terrified she doesn’t sound like it. “It wasn’t planned to begin with, but I was determined to make the best of things. I figured that I could still finish up my master’s degree with a baby, and Rhaena and our parents could help, and Jace would be done with law school soon, and it might be stressful for a while but we’d all get through it. And now…” She shrugs wryly. “Now all those plans are gone. Just gone.”

“You’re going to be okay,” Aemond says; a fierce low determination, a promise, a vow.

Baela smiles at Rio. “How old is your baby?”

He is caught off-guard, clears his throat, averts his gaze. Aegon looks over at him, alarmed. “Oh, he, uh…he’s little. Really little. He…” And Rio, so rarely at a loss for words, can’t continue. He eats his beef jerky instead.

You explain for him. “Sophie’s due date was right around the time the phones and internet went down. The last we heard, she was headed to Odessa to stay with Rio’s parents.” Aemond and his companions nod and don’t say what they’re thinking, but it’s swimming in their eyes: Sophie could have died, the baby could have died, they both could have died, you and Rio might be risking your lives to cross the continental United States for nothing. “Rio’s parents live in this…well, I joke around and call it a doomsday prepper cult, but that’s not really what it is, it’s just a farming community out in the middle of nowhere. People who have their own chickens and gardens, churn their own butter, don’t wear deodorant, make medicine out of tree bark…and a lot of them have kind of a survivalist mentality, they stock pantries and collect guns. So we figure we can reunite Rio with his family and then carve out lives for ourselves in relative peace.”

Rio reaches over to bump his fist against your shoulder. He is grateful. You punch him back, fairly forcefully; it’s like hitting a brick wall. Rio is as tall as Aemond but probably outweighs him by a hundred pounds.

You ask Aemond: “What’s in the Bay Area?”

“Our parents have a beach house. It’s up on a cliff by itself, pretty isolated, and surrounded by state parks. That’s where they were when everything shut down. I assume they’re still there.”

“Beach house?” Rio raises his eyebrows. “On a cliff?”

Rich kids. REALLY rich kids. “Your parents couldn’t just fly you to California in a private jet or something?” you say.

“Our pilots stole the jets,” Aemond replies, not realizing you were joking.

“Oh.”

“Jace and Luke’s parents were home in London, so getting there isn’t really an option, and then Baela and Rhaena…”

“Mum and Dad were on a business trip to Moscow,” Baela says. “I’d like to think they weren’t eaten, but…they were probably eaten.”

“I am so sorry,” you manage awkwardly.

A single zombie goes shuffling past the Wawa on the main street, a woman in a floral church dress, hair falling out of its curls, one pink high heel that clicks on the pavement, blood all over her mouth and chin. She notices the nine of you and begins to hiss, lurching closer. Daeron shoots her down and then trots over to retrieve his arrows, yanking them out of her cheek and eye socket. Rhaena winces. Aemond, distracted, bites into a Nature Valley granola bar. Aegon opens a can of Pringles, pizza-flavored.

Luke is peering through his binoculars, looking south towards Harrisburg. Faintly, you can see sunlight glinting off the gilded statue of a woman—the Spirit of the Commonwealth—that tops the green clay tile dome of the state capitol building. “What is that?”

“The sculpture?” you say.

“No. Farther away. Those big concrete towers, right on the water.”

Now you know exactly what he means…and you’d forgotten all about it. It’s an oversight you hope doesn’t cost too much. “That’s Three Mile Island. And we should leave so we can put more space between it and us.”

“Oh, fuck me…” Rio mutters.

Now everyone else is squinting to see the facility, barely visible from the Wawa. “Why?” Aemond asks you.

“Because it’s a nuclear power plant. And since the electricity is out everywhere, as soon as its backup generators fail, it will melt down and the whole area around it will become radioactive.”

Aegon puts two Pringles into his mouth so they look like a duck bill. “How do you know?”

“Did no one else go through a Chernobyl obsession phase in high school?”

“The professor mentioned it in one of my chemistry classes,” Aemond says, but he sounds doubtful; this must have been years ago, when he was consumed by med school prerequisites and had no space left in his brain for mere curiosity.

“Okay, listen up.” Rio knows the key points; he’s had to study different sources of electrical power. He demonstrates with dramatic hand gestures. “You have super radioactive reactor fuel, usually uranium or plutonium. You have a pool of water around it that circulates continuously. The heat of the fuel evaporates the water, which makes steam, which spins turbines, thus creating power. But if the external electricity fails, the water stops circulating, and the heat vaporizes all of it, and when there’s no more water the reactor fuel overheats and melts through the floor and poisons the earth, air, and groundwater. Any questions?”

There is a chorus of distressed chattering as people swiftly rise to their feet, clutching armfuls of snacks for the road. Jace comes trudging out of the Wawa, conspicuously not in possession of a firearm.

“No luck?” Daeron asks.

“Obviously not.” Then Jace snaps at Aemond: “Why were you stomping around all pissed off in the medicine aisle earlier? What were you looking for?”

“Nothing,” Aemond says quickly.

“Seriously, dude, what was it?”

“Nothing!”

“Damn, Plankton, calm down.” Jace shields his face from the sun, following Luke’s nervous eyeline towards the concrete cooling towers to the south. “What’s that?”

“Three Mile Island,” you say. “And we’re leaving now.”

Aegon yawns loudly. “I’m so full! Rio, can you carry me to the car?” And before anyone can tell Aegon to shut up, Rio has crouched down to let him scramble onto his back. Aegon cackles and waves his can of Pringles around as Rio sprints to the Tahoe. Now there are a few more zombies stumbling up the street, but you don’t waste arrows or bullets on them. Baela runs them down as she swerves out of the parking lot and drives northwest, heading towards Clarks Ferry Bridge where you will cross the Susquehanna River in a less populated area and commence the long slog to the Ohio border. She turns up the volume on the CD player: London Bridge by Fergie. Immediately, Rio, Aegon, Daeron, Rhaena, and Luke are singing along.

Baela checks the fuel gauge and looks at Aemond in the rearview mirror. “We have half a tank left.”

“We’ll find gas somewhere.”

“Aemond, it’ll be alright. Don’t worry about me.”

“You’re not going to be able to walk to California.”

Baela can’t think of a response. He’s right. Outside, the miles roll by in a blur of radiant, reptilian, early-summer green.

~~~~~~~~~~

Each time the interstate is blocked by a snarl of crashed vehicles or a backup too thick to navigate through—both common occurrences—Aegon digs the folded map out of his shorts and charts a new course for Baela to follow. This particular divergence might prove fortunate. The Tahoe has rolled into Distant, Pennsylvania, an Appalachian speck of a town, churches, coal mines, dilapidated old sheds. On the outskirts, perched on a hill and surrounded by oak trees, you find a small single-story brick house with a myriad of banners on the flagpole: an American flag, a Confederate flag, a black POW/MIA flag, Don’t Tread On Me, Trump 2024.

“Yeah,” Aegon says, scratching his scruffy chin as he peers up through the windshield. “I feel like they probably owned guns.”

“How do we know they’re not still home?” Baela asks warily.

“No car in the driveway,” Aemond observes. “No windows boarded up. They probably ran into trouble while they were out somewhere and never made it back.” Then he waits, the question upspoken. Are we going to risk it?

“We’re down,” Rio says after exchanging a glance with you.

Aemond turns to Jace. Jace—curly dark hair down to his shoulders, eyes on the house, chewing his full bottom lip apprehensively—doesn’t reply at first.

“You said you wanted a gun, Jace. All the Walmarts are cleaned out. This is what shopping looks like now.”

“Fine. Okay. Let’s go.”

Baela parks the Tahoe in the gravel driveway and tells Rhaena and Luke to stay inside with Helaena until the property has been cleared. The rest of you climb out, afternoon sun and mountain wind, dandelions crushed under your shoes. There’s a barn behind the house, you see now, gaps between the wooden boards and flaking red paint.

Luke is standing up through the open sunroof, inspecting the scene with his binoculars. “No movement.”

“We’ll take the house, if you want,” Rio tells Aemond. You’re clutching your borrowed baseball bat with bandaged hands, though it still feels unnatural; your M9 is in its holster in case of emergencies. Jace, Baela, and Daeron start plodding across the yard towards the barn. The grass is tall and mostly shaded, the oak trees decades old, massive, weaving a patchwork canopy of leaves.

Aegon trots over and slaps Aemond on his left shoulder, his blind side. Aemond says without looking at him: “I’ll go with them. You wait out here.”

Aegon drives an imaginary ball with his golf club. “I’m very sensitive to rejection, you know.”

“You’ll survive.” Then Aemond follows you and Rio to the house.

Rio tries the knob, locked. He doesn’t waste a bullet by trying to shoot the lock off the door, something that is far less reliable than movies would have you believe. He kicks it open instead, three tries and then the screws that secure the latch give way and the door swings ajar. You wait, counting seconds in your head, listening for growls or footsteps. There are no sounds except the breeze sighing through the trees, the warbles and wing flaps of birds. You steal a glimpse of the barn. Jace, Baela, and Daeron have unhooked the rusted iron latch and are venturing inside, Daeron last and glancing around watchfully, his compound bow already drawn. Rio steps into the house.

It’s hot, stifling, all the windows shut. But this has its advantages. You inhale deeply: no trace of decomposition, no black swampy nauseating rot, just dust and lemon Pledge and old-people staleness.

“Smells fine,” Rio says. And then, loudly: “Anyone home? We’re just looking for supplies. We don’t want to hurt you. If anybody is here, just let us know and we’d be happy to leave. And, uh, sorry about the door.”

You stay close to Rio as he sweeps through the living room—floral couch, television turned off, crosses on the walls—and then the kitchen, where bananas are turning black on the counter. Aemond is to your right; he’s placed you on his blind side. He trusts me, you think. When did that happen? You haven’t heard anything from Aegon or the barn. That must be going well.

In the bedroom, Aemond pulls the curtains open to let some light in. You search the drawers, the closet, under the bed. No weapons. The bathroom has 1950s-style pink porcelain, the dining room table is set for a meal that never happened. There is a deer head mounted on the wall, ten points, not bad.

“I can’t believe these fuckers didn’t have guns,” Rio says. “But where the hell are they?!”

You have always watched more than you’ve spoken. That’s why you’re good at shooting things, and why you’re still alive. Rio talks and you listen; Rio acts and you reflect. “Wait.” You turn to Aemond. “Did you see a cellar outside?”

“A what?” He is perplexed. “Like…a wine cellar…?”

“No. A regular cellar.” You walk back into the midday heat and circle the house, Aemond and Rio hurrying to keep up. Over by the barn, everyone else is stretched out across the grass, joking, relaxing, Baela with her hammer on the ground and her hands laced over her belly, Helaena cradling a praying mantis in her palms and showing it to Rhaena. Aegon is teaching Luke how to smoke with a pack of Marlboro Golds he found at the Wawa. Luke, game yet somewhat anxious, takes a puff and then immediately coughs until he starts retching.

“I want to try too,” Daeron says.

Aegon shakes his head, taking a nonchalant drag off his own cigarette. “Nope. Not for you. Illegal. You’re under eighteen.”

“I want to try!”

“Shut up, you can’t even vote.”

“Nobody can vote, the government has collapsed!”

You find it at the back of the house: a pair of large metal doors leading down into the underground cellar. The weeds have begun to encroach on them, wild violets and black nightshade.

“Awesome!” Rio says, lifting the doors open one at a time, the hinges shrieking. They’re heavy, but they cause him no trouble. Underneath is a staircase and a room dark with shadows; you can see a light switch that won’t work, the electricity long gone. Rio unclips the flashlight from his  belt—taken from Saratoga Springs, waterproof with a 90-degree head so it doesn’t roll, known as a Moonbeam—and ducks down into the cellar. It’s a small room, easy to clear, and then you can start inventorying your findings. Rio is laughing, ecstatic. There is a workbench, a coil of thick rope, an array of tools—screwdrivers, wrenches, hammers, saws—some homemade leather wallets and holsters, cans of Brillo color spray…and then a treasure trove of weapons mounted on the walls.

You scan the collection. “We got Marlin .22s, we got Ruger Magnums, we got Remington 12 gauges, we got hunting knives…and one Glock 20.”

“A lot of ammo under here, Chips,” Rio says, yanking boxes out from beneath the workbench and stacking them on the floor, organized by caliber.

“No scopes?”

“Not that I’ve seen yet.”

You lift one of the Remingtons off its hooks and examine it: dusty, unloaded, vines of rust on the receiver. “We’ll have to go through and sight all of them. I don’t think they’ve been used in a while.”

“That’ll be a lot of noise. But here’s the place to do it, I guess. Low population, and we’re not staying.”

“Exactly.”

“Sight them for close range, like ten yards?”

“Yeah, that should work.”

Aemond says, eyebrow raised: “I didn’t know the Navy used shotguns.”

“Everyone hunts where I’m from.” You put the Remington down on the workbench then pick up the Glock, a box of 10mm ammo, and a can of Brillo. “Come on. Grab one of those hammers. I’ll show you how to shoot.”

You bound up the cellar steps and out into the shade of the oak trees, not stopping until you are at the edge of the property. Across the backyard where he lounges on the grass, Aegon gestures to the barn and asks Luke: “What’s in there anyway?”

“Nothing. Saddles and a few dead horses.”

“Oh, dynamite, I gotta see the dead horses.”

Jace says: “Aegon, man, what is your diagnosis?”

You use the can of Brillo to spray a large chocolate-colored circle onto a tree trunk, then make another two feet above that. You count your steps as you walk back towards Aemond: approximately ten yards. You load a single bullet in the Glock, aim for the bottom circle, and fire. A hole appears at the very edge of the circle. You take the hammer from Aemond and give the rear sight a few knocks. “This isn’t recommended, but it usually works.”

Aemond is smiling. “Okay.”

You load the full magazine and try again. The bullet hits closer to the middle this time. “Here. Both hands.”

Aemond takes the Glock but hesitates. “Is…my eye…?”

“It shouldn’t be a problem. A lot of people close one eye anyway when they’re aiming. I always do.”

He is relieved. “Oh. Good.”

You tap the underside of the Glock. Aemond obediently lifts it. “The line of sight is slightly higher than the barrel, so you have to account for that. And then gravity will pull the bullet lower, and the longer the range of the shot, the more it will drop. So when you fire, the barrel should be angled upwards just the tiniest bit, not horizontal.”

“Like throwing a football.”

“Yeah, exactly. It’s an arc, not a straight line. At first it’ll feel like you’re trying to do all these calculations in your head, and it will be overwhelming, but then it becomes muscle memory and you don’t even have to think about it.” Jace, Baela, and Daeron are now eagerly crossing the yard to help Rio carry the guns out of the cellar and receive their own lessons. “Alright, we’re going to start with a really terrifying enemy. I want you to shoot that tree.”

“What a formidable tree.”

“Aim for the top circle. And if you hit it, then you can practice on Jace.”

Aemond laughs, butter-yellow sunlight filtering down through the trees, the shadows of leaves flickering over his skin, a mosaic of flesh and earth. You ghost your open hand down the length of his arm as if adjusting the angle. Really, you just want to touch him, to feel his warmth and his stillness, the tension of his muscles, the rhythm of his pulse. He’s watching you, lips parted, goosebumps rising beneath your fingertips. Birds are chirping, sparrows and blue jays. High above, squirrels leap and scrabble through the branches. You pull your hand away.

“Look through the sights. The rear sight at the back of the barrel is shaped like a U, and the one at the front is an I. Is the I in the middle of the U?”

“I have no idea.” A pause as he reconsiders. “Yes.”

“Right, it is, and the bullet should go exactly where you want it to because I already sighted that Glock. I’ll show you how to do it later. Now shoot the tree.”

Aemond aims but doesn’t pull the trigger. He’s nervous; he doesn’t want to seem incompetent, pathetic. You imagine it is rare that he isn’t the one with the solutions.

“Hey,” you say softly, and he looks over at you. “You don’t judge me for not knowing how to cure people. I won’t judge you for not knowing how to kill them. Deal?”

Now he’s smiling again. “Deal.” He returns his attention to the tree, lets a few more seconds tick by, and fires. He hits one of the branches. “Oh, that is…embarrassing.”

“It’s not that bad. You hit something. Try again.”

More seconds, more birdsong, more wind through the grass and the leaves. Aemond’s second bullet pierces the trunk about six inches above the top circle. “Yes!” he cheers, boyish triumph on his scarred face.

You resist touching him. It is startlingly difficult. “That was really good.”

He lowers the Glock, and you click the safety on for him. “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure,” you say.

“Why’d you ghost that Marine at Corpus Christi?”

“I told you. I didn’t like him enough.”

“Okay, sure, but actually. What was wrong with him?”

“I’ve known you for like twenty-four hours. You think you’ve earned all my secrets?”

“Well, not all of them,” Aemond says, grinning. Rio is showing Jace, Baela, and Daeron how to load the .22s. Aegon is swinging his golf club in circles as he follows Luke into the barn. Helaena and Rhaena are giggling as butterflies land on their outstretched fingers. “But our time together could be very finite. It seems unwise to waste it by trying to preserve some amount of mystery.”

“You’ve convinced me.” You want to be known by him, you want to be understood. That is a frightening thing to realize. It’s like handing a stranger the keys to your home. Will they visit graciously, or will they rob you, ruin you, burn you down? “I haven’t seen many examples of love working out for people. I’ve seen couples who hated each other, and couples who split up, and a lot of women having to raise kids all on their own and turning into these…bitter, exhausted, hollowed-out versions of themselves. I never wanted that to be me. And for as long as I can remember, I’ve felt like that was just one wrong choice away from becoming my life. I don’t want men to disappoint me. So I don’t give them the chance.”

You think Aemond is going to say something cheap, flirtatious, awful: Give me a chance, baby. I won’t disappoint you. Instead he says: “I haven’t known many happy couples either. I mean…Luke and Rhaena would be the closest, I guess. But they’re so young. I’m not sure if they count.”

“Rio and Sophie seem happy. But they’ve also barely seen each other in five years.”

“It does things to you, when you start to believe love might be doomed to end or tear you apart or turn to hatred. If it’s just an evolutionary mirage to trick us into reproducing, what’s the point of giving someone that power over you?”

“Exactly.”

“I feel like one of us should be trying to talk the other out of being so fatalistically cynical.”

“Yeah, totally. Okay. You talk me out of it.”

He chuckles. “No, I don’t think I can. You talk me out of it.”

You’re watching Aemond, realizing you like everything about him—his smirk, his height, his hands, the clear direct blue of his eye—and wondering what the hell you’re going to do about it. Then there is a scream from the barn.

What?? Who??

“Luke!” Aemond shouts, and takes off across the yard. Now you’re all running, even Rhaena and Helaena who don’t have anything to fight with. Everyone is yelling, their lungs heaving in wild June air, their shoes pounding against the earth.

Inside the barn, on a wooden floor strewn with hay, Luke is shrieking as he tries to push a zombie off of him with his bare hands. She’s an older woman, grey hair in rollers, yellow nightgown stained with gore. Something has happened to her feet. Both of her legs end in exposed tibias and flapping strips of purplish, rotting skin. Aegon is beating her with his golf club, but he can’t get a good shot at her head. If he accidentally hits Luke, he could make it worse, he could stun him or even knock him out, and he’ll be bitten in the few seconds it takes anyone to remove his undead assailant. Rio lunges to grab the zombie. She snaps at him with bared teeth and he retreats, drawing his M9.

“Don’t shoot!” Jace is saying. The air is putrid: dead horses, dead people. “You’ll hit Luke!”

Your own M9 is suddenly in your hands, the safety clicked off, one eye closed. “Luke, don’t move.”

“Kill it, kill it!” he pleads hysterically, pushing the zombie as far from him as he can, his palms sinking into the decomposing bruise-colored tissue of her chest and throat.

“Don’t shoot!” Jace orders, but you ignore him. He fades into the background with all the other frenzied voices. Your finger on the trigger, a boom like thunder, bits of bone and brains against the wall. Luke shoves the corpse away, trembling, sobbing. Rhaena flies to him.

Aegon spots the fresh blood on Luke’s right hand and panics. “Is that a bite?!”

Luke notices the wound for the first time. “I don’t know!”

“What do you mean you don’t know?!”

“I don’t know!” Luke wails, tears flooding down his pink face.

“I thought you cleared the barn!” Aemond roars at Aegon.

“It fell out of the loft, we didn’t think anything was up there!”

Luke is blubbering: “I hit my hand against one of the stalls, I think that’s how I cut myself, I was just…I was pushing it away…I didn’t think it bit me…oh my God, I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t want to die…”

“It only takes once, kid,” Rio says grimly, fidgeting with his M9, looking at Aemond as if for permission.

“Don’t touch him!” Jace hisses, stepping in front of his brother and clutching his bat. “No one is going to hurt him, it’s not a bite, you can’t prove it’s a bite!”

You reach for Luke’s bleeding hand. “Can I see—?”

“Get away from him!” Jace swings his bat. The tip of it connects with your skull, just a graze fortunately, but still enough to rattle you. Rio charges Jace, tackles him to the floor, starts throwing punches. Baela has apparently forgotten she’s heavily pregnant and is trying to pull them apart. You join her.

He’s going to demolish Jace. He’s going to break his nose or jaw or something. “Rio stop, I’m fine, stop!”

There is another gunshot, a cataclysmic earth-shaking explosion that makes the pain in your head surge from a ripple to a wave. Aemond is aiming his Glock skywards; a hole has appeared in the roof of the barn. “Stand up!” he commands. Rio and Jace reluctantly comply. You help Baela to her feet.

“Aemond,” Jace says. “You have to stop them, they’re going to kill Luke—”

“No one is killing anybody.” Aemond lowers his Glock. “Maybe he’s been bitten. Maybe he hasn’t been. And even if we knew for sure that he was going to turn, we don’t just execute people like this, threatening them when they’re terrified. We have humanity. We have compassion.”

There is a silence that strikes you as heavy, laden, holding meaning that escapes you. Aegon points at Luke. “So what the fuck are we going to do about him?”

“We’ll tie him up,” Aemond decides.

“What?!” Luke exclaims.

“There’s rope in the cellar. We’ll tie his arms and legs so he can’t do anything and keep him like that for a few days until either his hand heals up or he turns into a zombie. Someone will always have to be with him to help him eat and take a piss and also…you know. Deal with it if he turns.”

“I’ll stay with him,” Rhaena says immediately.

Aemond’s voice is now gentle, sympathetic. “I don’t think you want this.”

“If Luke has to die, I should be the person with him.”

“You’ve never had to put someone down before.” And in this statement lives another: Aemond knows what that feels like. Aemond has had to kill someone when they turned.

“I’ll stay with him,” Rhaena says again, this frail harmless doe-eyed girl, and you see a steeliness in her that you hadn’t thought existed.

“Okay,” Aemond relents. “When you’re asleep, Jace or I will take over.”

“It’s not a bite,” Jace murmurs, like he’s trying to convince himself.

“We’ll all find out soon enough,” Rio says, casting him a glare, then goes to fetch the coil of rope from the cellar.

Aemond cleans and bandages the wound on Luke’s hand. Then the weapons, ammo, and newly immobilized Luke are loaded into the Tahoe. Aemond asks you once everyone else is inside: “How’s your head?”

“Fine, I think.”

“Hurts?”

“Just a little.”

“Dizzy? Double vision?”

“No, nothing like that.”

He takes a quick look, parting your hair with his fingertips, feeling gingerly for blood and swelling. And this is becoming a serious problem: every time he touches you, you want more.

“Aemond…who did you have to kill?”

He doesn’t answer. For another moment his hand lingers by your temple, then Aemond turns away and climbs into the Tahoe. This time, no one sings along to the next song on the mixtape. Heads rest on windows, eyes are vacant and misty. Baela steers the Tahoe westbound on Route 1004, the Chainsmokers drifting through the speakers: All We Know.

~~~~~~~~~~

“Pick a card, any card,” Aegon says when he’s done shuffling. He fans out the entire Uno deck face-down and offers it to Rio, Aemond, and Jace. They each select a card, then Aegon picks one for himself. Finally, he holds out the deck to Luke, who stares up incredulously from where he’s still bound with rope and sitting on a curb in the parking lot of a Burger King just outside of Yarnell, Pennsylvania.

“Are you serious?”

“You’re an adult male, aren’t you? You think being in the middle of transforming into an undead murder machine exempts you from gasoline siphoning duty?”

“I’m fine!” Luke insists.

“Great. Then pick a card.”

“I can’t move my hands, you idiot.”

“Pick it with your mouth.”

“I hate you.” Luke bites his card of choice and waits with it clasped between his teeth, glowering.

“I want to pick a card,” Daeron says cheerfully.

Aegon refuses. “No. Too young. A baby.”

“Aegon, I’m seventeen!”

“Can’t enlist, can’t do jury duty, can’t buy lottery tickets, can’t sign up to drink gasoline. Okay, everybody show their cards.”

“I got a three,” Jace says, then yanks Luke’s card out of his mouth and reads it. “He got a skip.”

Aemond’s card is a nine, Rio’s a five, Aegon’s a reverse. “That means you lose, Jace,” Aegon announces, admittedly rather gleeful. “You had the lowest number.”

“This is bullshit, I had to siphon last time!”

“Then stop picking bad cards.”

“Jace, I can do it,” Aemond says.

“And get to be the martyr, as usual? No thanks. Give me the damn hose.”

Aegon roots around under the Tahoe seats and produces a long, semitransparent siphoning hose. “All the ones with the little pump attachments were sold out everywhere by the time we thought that might be useful,” he explains to you and Rio.

“That sucks, Jace,” Rio says. “I mean, literally, it sucks.”

“Next time we cross a bridge, I’m pushing you off it.” Jace takes the hose from Aegon, pops open the gas cap of the Dodge Ram 3500 you’ve found, and threads the hose down into the tank. He sucks on the other end and then shoves it into the Tahoe once the gasoline starts flowing. The fuel gauge was hovering just above E. Hopefully you can get at least a few gallons out of the Ram, another fifty or a hundred miles, maybe even two hundred, enough to get you across the Ohio border.

Jace is bent over and vomiting gasoline onto the pavement. Rhaena and Baela sit with Luke as Aemond feels his forehead and peers into his eyes. Daeron accompanies Helaena as she goes to scavenge inside the Burger King, her burlap messenger bag slung over one shoulder. Rio is now holding the siphoning hose and watching the liquid gold pour into the Tahoe, his smile growing with each passing second. Your eyes fall on Aemond and stay there, his careful hands, his brow knitted with concentration.

A whisper from behind you: “We could fake date to make him jealous.”

You whirl to see Aegon, mischievous smirk, neon green plastic sunglasses. “That is a super generous offer and I appreciate the thought you put into it, but no.”

“Why not?”

“It’s dishonest. It’s manipulative. If something is going to happen with Aemond, I want it to be real.”

Aegon sighs. “No, you’re right, it was a dumb idea. I just figured I have a lot of experience.”

“Experience with what?”

“People pretending to love me.” He flashes a strange, sad smile, then follows Daeron and Helaena into the Burger King.

[cheriladycl01]

2026 Rewind - Grid x AudiDriver! Reader

Plot: After some devastating deaths within the F1 industry from unmistakable names in 2025, the FIA decide to make a plan to race at all of the old tracks that are iconic but haven’t been on the grid for a while.

A/N: this is racing heavy with only drivers name dropped, but if you want cool Ted and Crofty with Y/N vibes while learning more about some of the FIA Grade 1 Tracks, have a read!

“So Ted, let’s talk about this years line up. It’s just so iconic that I can’t bear it!” David Croft says as they are in the commentator box at pre-season testing.

“Yeah Crofty, obviously it’s so unfortunate the reason behind what we are calling the 2026 rewind because of some losses we had in the industry and this was the way the FIA decided to pay tribute to those people!" Ted explains before the onscreen for the year comes up.

"So, lets go through the year together and analyze it. We're starting of the season strong in the lovely Kuwait, here at Kuwait Motor Town, this is where we are kick starting off this season. It's a high speed track here just north of where we would typically start in Bahrain. This is a track consisting of 20 turns, and is 5.609km of racing ahead. I'm very excited as no-one in F1 history has raced here in an F1 car. Who do you think's going to do well here Ted?"

"Well, there's some really nice corners, and it's a similar temp to Bahrain so i think it's difficult to tell but I can imagine the Audi with Y/N now having done her rookie season learning all those key values about the F1 car and how it works. McLaren will also be good here, really tightening up the constructors championship this year!" Ted offers looking at all the onboard footage.

"Yes I agree, I think Red Bull tend to be quiet strong a the start of the year naturally and its a game for the other teams to be playing catch up!" Crofty agrees.

"Okay, then after Kuwait, we'll be travelling to and correct me if I'm saying this wrong but the Kyalami Circuit in South Africa near the wonderful capital Johannesburg. It's in replacement of the Saudi Arabian Grand Prix, we haven't raced in South Africa since 1993 and what a beautiful circuit this is, its got some really high speed corners and yeah, I think the Ferrari will really be great on those long straights." Ted says analysis the data of the cars in testing.

"And now here we have with us, Y/N Y/L/N Audi F1 driver here to talk through the rest of the tracks!" David says and points to the camera for you to smile and wave before he pulls out the microphone in front of you.

"Hello!" you grin and David and Ted both burst out laughing.

"What did I miss, I'm really sorry i was late!" you smile looking between them and they both nod in understanding of how tight the weekend schedule could be, they are shocked they actually have your time right now.

"It's completely okay, we understand! We've only introduced Kuwait and South Africa, we are about to move onto the changed Australia track! Your thoughts?" he exclaims and you smile.

"Yeah, obviously it's going to be exciting with all these new tracks that none of us have driven, so of course there was a lot of testing in the sims... but yeah its great to be here in Kuwait, and I'm excited to go to South Africa as well!" you smile.

"Yes, and how do you feel about Australia being changed from Albert Park in Melbourne to the Adelaide Street Circuit?" Ted asks with a grin on his face knowing how you felt about the Australian races.

"Well, after the spider incident in 2022, I've always been so scared to drive in Australia" you giggle, before Crofty pulls up the video of you in P4 of the Australian Grand Prix in 2022.

Y/N - Theres a fucking tarantula in my car Race Engineer - Copy that Y/N - No i dont think you guys get it, its on me

"And you ended up pitting there was no time to get it out of the car because of where it was, you were crying for the rest of the race and you were going so quick so you could just finish that you actually ended up winning your first race here and overtaking Charles Leclerc in, what back then was an Alfa Romeo." Crofty smiles and you nod.

"Yeah, so where ever that race is in Australia I know ill be on edge the whole time, I'll have my crew do like 6 inspections on my car before each session to make sure. It was traumatizing i tell you!" you admit.

"So after what will hopefully be a spider free stint in Adelaide on their street circuit we move on to south east Asia where we will exchange Suzuka Japan, for the Fuji SpeedWay, a truly iconic track before going back to an old favorite of some of the older driver on the grid like Lewis and Fernando in South Korea at the Korea International Circuit!" Ted says showing the line up for the races after Australia.

"I'm really excited for these, the atmosphere of the fans is always amazing and the tracks here are great I think Audi thrive on these sort of tracks and yeah, I'm excited to see what we can do there!" you smile, looking at the spinning track layout that popped up on screen.

You move on to Miami's replacement being the iconic Californian Long Beach Street Circuit.

"And we've been tipped of, by a certain Cash App driver that he'll be taking you to DisneyLand while out there?" he asks looking at you.

"Yes, Liam has already been once and when I said about wanting to go to radiator springs he and Daniel jumped on the opportunity to go, which then Yuki and Max wanted to come so it's now turned into this whole massive group trip!" you laugh knowing that half the grid would come with you guys.

"And of course much like the UK Italy is another pinnacle of Motorsport and we've had to change out two of the iconic track Monza and Imola. So for the first change of Italy we've changed it to the iconic Mugello track which I just really love, don't you Y/N?" Ted asks looking at you.

"Yeah I think Lando and Osc will be really strong there, I'd like to think me and Carlos are as well with the Audi this year... so yeah I'm excited for Mugello! Obviously they raced here in 2020 so it's the most recent of all the races this year to make a return so its only really me, Oscar, Logan, Fred, Theo and Kimi who haven't raced there" you smile analyzing the twisty track up on the screen.

"Yes, then we'll be moving onto, what was probably one of the toughest decisions of this year which was switching out Monaco and what to switch out such an exciting race with, so they didn't its the only race on the calendar this year that has remained unchanged!" David explains making you nod.

"I think, where this year is to show the history of F1 and what it means to all of us, the teams and the fans. And by keeping Monaco on there where its such a historic track, i think that's actually staying true to a rewind year!" you smile, you'd always loved the vibes in Monaco, from the fans to the track to how your car performed there.

"Yeah i agree i think it was the right choice keeping Monaco!" Ted exclaims also loving the vibes at Monaco.

"Okay, then moving all the way to the west, we'll be in Canada moving from Montreal over to Quebec at the second oldest track, the Mont-Tremblant Circuit!" David shows the new Canadian circuit on screen.

"Then after Canada we've got a really special double header with two Spanish Grand Prix's at different locations. We have the Valencia Street Circuit and Del Jarama Circuit. Both very exciting and it will be a long weekend in Spain!"

"I'm excited to see a street circuit in Spain, obviously we had Madrid for the last two years after Barcelona, so I'm excited for both Valencia as a street circuit and Jarama which is such an iconic track because of those tights turns and yeah I'm really excited for this one!" you smile.

"Obviously next one was another tough one, Silverstone again another iconic track and the UK has so many other iconic tracks that its hard to choose, there was talks of Aintree, Watkins Glen and Donington Park but ultimately they went with Brands Hatch what do you think on this?" Ted asks looking over to you, holding up a page showing all the different UK tracks.

"Yeah, I think there's some really iconic tracks in the UK, its my home so i grew up racing on a lot of those tracks in different motorsport categories, I think there's ones that are arguably better for Formula one, which is why Silverstone is the main circuit as it gives for the most interesting race, however for me it would have been a call between Brands Hatch and Watkins Glen so I'm glad that they chose Brands Hatch, I've got some great memories there at testing and showcasing the car or working with the Top Gear team, so I'm excited to race there!" you explain, the United Kingdom is the like Monaco in being both a founder and royalty when it comes to Motorsport.

"I 100% agree with that, however I just love Aintree so much and am gutted we wont see it!" David Croft admits.

"So after Brands Hatch we move to Monsanta in Portugal which we haven't raced in Portugal since 2021 because of the COVID restrictions but that was in Algarve so it'll be interesting to see the difference!" Ted offers looking at the next circuit floating on their screen as he zoom's in on turn 4.

"Then, again there another track we hate to see go even if its for one year but Spa, its so iconic and its one of the most dangerous circuits we race now and it's being swapped out for Circuit Zolder on the other side of Belgium! Thoughts?" David asks out in the open.

"I" you start.

"Well I think" Ted also starts and you both look at each other in shock before laughing. You let Ted go first to say his piece.

"Well, I think it's no where near interesting as Spa, and especially where its the last race before a break... I think it's going to be way more uneventful than Spa!"

"Y/N?" Crofty asks looking at you.

"I actually think the opposite most of the tracks have been very high risk with lost of turns and chicanes and hairpins that really catch you out, however this reminds me of the simplicity of Monza and everyone, everyone loves Monza. So i think it will really even out the mid field cars" you says observing the track that had nice long straights and minimal turns.

"I agree with you there Y/N! Next after Zolder we head over to the heavily missed Nurburgring in Germany, the last time we saw it was 2019 so again, up until our 2019 rookies would have driven there how'd you feel about this track Y/N?" David asks.

"Well, it's such an iconic track for so many reasons I really wanted to race there after I watched Lando, George and Alex all race there in 2019, I was actually there in the paddock that year with Ferrari as a part of their driver development programme" you nod, explaining to them how excited you were for it.

"Now next in the place of Monza which we just mentioned we have a complete wild card of the Scandinavian Raceway in Sweden! Now this, this is one I'm excited for it's a beautiful track and has the coldest track temps we'll probably get all season! So it'll be a real fight to see who can protect their tyres and manage them well!" Ted explains and you nod, knowing it would be an exciting race.

"Then after that we travel to France where we haven't been for a while, however the Bugatti Au Mans Track in France is iconic, there are so many great tracks in France like Paul-Ricard or the Charade Circuit or Dijon de Prenois, all of them are great but the Bugatti hasn't been done is so long and really means a lot historically to the sport" David offers, showing you one of the only tracks you didn't feel too excited a lean towards.

"Then, we move back across to Aisa, going to an age of favorite of the age old Sepang International Circuit in Malasiya which is one fans have been wanting to see back on the race calendar for a while so i wonder if this will stay into 2027!" Ted takes over, and you nod.

"I'm also very excited for Sepang! After Malaysia we move onto the first ever FIA grade 1 race track the Chang Circuit in Thailand, how to we feel about this?" David asks directly looking at you.

"Not only is it a beautiful track, but it means that Alex now has a chance to race at his home track while racing under his home flag and I think he's really excited for it. He's in a great car, the Williams has come leaps and bounds and are top midfield contenders and definitely will be up there fighting for race wins!" you smile, knowing Alex was so happy to have this opportunity to race in his home country.

"I agree Alex Albon to win in Chang Circuit, I've put my money on it! Our next circuit it one that NASCAR share with us in F1 taking it back to the Indianapolis Speedway, on the lower F1 circuit of course rather than the Oval that the NASCAR drivers use!" Ted explains.

"Yeah, that lower track is great, you got the nice curve and we'll be able to get to those really high speeds. It's an iconic US track just like COTA!" you admit, taking a sip of the water you'd brought with you.

"After Indi, we'll make our way a little further down south to the Rio de Janiro International Track in Brazil, which is instead of Sao Paulo" David explains looking at the second F1 track in Brazil, it was a nice track but Sao Paulo had been on the roster for so long.

"Then, we are back in Las Vegas, but not on the Strp track that was created in 2023, no we are going back to the Ceaser's Palace Track and I know many people complain about these Las Vegas Grand Prix's because of the timings and the drivers not really liking driving at 12pm!"

"Yeah, i agree they are really strenuous just like Qatar for the heat but I love the vibe Las Vegas brings and I like the whole weekend with all the activities in the fan zone and yeah I'm excited they used Ceaser's Palace rather than the Pheonix Street Circuit which i know they were considering.

"I agree. Our last two races, then consist of the Buddah International Circuit in India and rounding off instead of in Yas Marina in the Dubai Autodrome, which will be a really nice round off" David exclaims.

Slowly you end the interview up, needing to go down to the track to get into the car for you leg of pre-season testing.

What a year it would be.

Taglist:

@littlesatanicassholebitch @hockey-racing-fubol @laura-naruto-fan1998 @22yuki @simxican @sinofwriting @lewisroscoelove @cmleitora @stupidandunnecessary @clayra-g @daemyratwst @honey-belden @moonypixel @lauralarsen @vader-is-hot @ironcowboycopnickel @itsjustkhaos @the-untamed-soul @beebo86 @happylittlereader @ziejustme @lou-larcher5 @thewulf @purplephantomwolf @chasing-liberosis @chillyleclerc @chanthereader @annoyingmoonballoon @summissss @evieepepi08 @havaneseoger08 @celesteblack08 @gulphulp @fandom1ruined2me @celebstories @starfusionsworld @jspitwall @sierruhh @georgeparisole @dakotatankbig @youcannotcancelquidditch @zzonsbeek @tallbrownhairsarcastic @mellowarcadefun @ourteenagetragedy @otako5811 @countingstacksandpanicattacks @peachiicherries @formulas-bitch @cherry-piee @hopexcroc @mirrorball-6 @spilled-coffee-cup @mehrmonga @bigsimperika @blueberry64857959 @eiraethh @lilypadlover @curseofhecate @alliwantisadonut @the-fem1n1ne-urge @21stcenturytaegi @dark-night-sky-99 @spideybv28 @i-wish-this-was-me @tallrock35 @butterfly-lover @barnestatic @landossainz @darleneslane @barcelonaloverf1life @r0nnsblog @ilove-tswizzle @kapsylia @laneyspaulding19 @lazybot @malynn @cassielikereading @viennakarma @teamnovalak @landosgirlxoxo @marie0v @jlb20416 @yourbane @teamnovalak @nikfigueiredo @fionaschicken @0picels0 @seomako @urdad-hot @formula1mount @tinydeskwriter @butterfly-lover @ironmaiden1313

[thowawayuntilfurthernotice]

The South Park movie had a reason to be vulgar, it was poking fun at the moral panic regarding media at the time.

People tend to gloss over the fact that the V-Chip is an actual thing that exists. It wasn’t a made up plot point.

Putting aside Matt & Trey’s shitty centrist attitudes towards everything, they at least have a general understanding of joke structure.

Most of the jokes in Hazbin Hotel are just “Random character said a swear” or “Sex lmao.”

There is no proper set up and punchline structure because Viv & Adam can’t be bothered with putting in any effort when it comes to writing jokes.

As someone who has watched the entirety of Hazbin Hotel season one, I cannot think of a single joke that stuck with me.

Even the absolute worst South Park jokes (And believe me, there are plenty) stick with me because I get what Matt & Trey were going for when they wrote those jokes.

I’m not against edgy vulgar humor, but the thing about that type of humor is that you have to put in some actual effort into making it funny.

Viv just sucks when it comes to writing jokes, as she truly believes that the easiest way to get a laugh out of the audience is by having her characters swear and make sexual references.

And I’m saying all this as someone who doesn’t even like South Park. So this is not me defending South Park against criticism, as I’m personally not a fan of that show.

But that doesn’t change the fact that this comparison is stupid.

Oh, and before you even ask, Viv liked this tweet.

[twistedinthreads]

Lost In The Labyrinth

Part 1.

You came to Oxford to get away from America; from your mother's fame and the ghosts of your past. You get more than you bargained for when you meet Felix.

Word Count: 1.9k

Warnings: sexual content (not explicit but it's there so 18+ MINORS DNI), I used some descriptors for reader such as scars, birthmarks, imperfections, but I made her as inclusive as possible, reader is American, she's also a nepo baby but isn't using her nepotism in any real way. Bi!reader and Felix. fic title inspired by the taylor swift song, of course (and I am terrible at titles!)

Playlist (a work in progress!)

A/N: I am so insecure about this reading back over it omgggg but I'm posting it anyway! Hi friends. I've been working on this for so long, and I'm recovering from my surgery so I figured there's no time like the present. Here we are. I am obsessed with this movie and this man! I promise this fic is gonna get more interesting, but we've got this for now. Let me know if you'd like to be added to the taglist, and feel free to send me asks if you want to talk about reader and her lore, because she is very special to me and I adore her already!!!

Your eyes droop as you hum along to the nameless blonde that stands in front of you, her sparkly pink cocktail dress catching the light and making her glow. She’s going on and on about how Everlasting Eve is her favorite movie of all time, and how your mother is “the greatest actress of our time!” You want to vomit. It’s not like this doesn’t happen, it’s practically a daily occurrence at this point, but you’d much prefer it if people stopped giving so much of a shit. If they did, you wouldn’t be stood with a bottle blonde from Bristol talking your ear off. You’d just stepped out to get some air, for Christ’s sake. 

“You’re from the States, right?” You nod, sipping at your cocktail and bouncing from one foot to the other to conserve some warmth in your legs. She asks it as if she hasn’t been talking your ear off and didn’t notice your accent, not as thick as it used to be when you’d lived in New York full time, but still foreign here. The music is less obnoxious out here, bass easing on your chest. It’s cooler, too, the fall night air brushing against your neck like a lover. “That’s brilliant! I went with my parents once, when I was a kid. We went to Disney World.” 

You smile and nod, muttering out a “cool” as you sip at your drink, cringing at its strength. 

“Is that far from where you live?” She asks, and you wonder how she got into this fucking school. Probably a legacy, with more money than she knows what to do with.

“Uh,” you suppress a laugh. “Yeah. Yeah, like… incredibly South of New York.” 

“I’ve always wanted to go to New York,” she continues to babble. “My parents go on business trips there, but they’ve never taken me. I want to see where Little Angels was filmed! Uh, Lincoln Square Park?”

“Washington Square Park,” you correct her. 

“Yeah!” She snaps her fingers and points. “That’s it! When your mom’s character is waiting there for Hugh Grant’s character, and then they walk off into the sunset together? Absolutely the most incredible thing I’ve ever seen!”

You stare off into the distance vacantly, the night sky painted with different navy hues and dotted with the brushstrokes of stars. 

Suddenly, you feel a warm arm around your waist, hot breath on your cheek. “There you are!” You’d know that voice anywhere. The figure kisses you on the cheek and it takes everything in you not to start grinning from ear to ear. You turn, meeting his lips, and he plays along like it’s the most normal thing in the world. “I’m gonna head home, wanna come with?”

You nod, thanking him with your eyes. He winks gently at you and grabs your hand. “Nice talking to you…” you’ve already forgotten her name. Her tone has completely shifted, body stiff as her eyes mull over you and the man that holds your hand with a vice grip. 

“Sandra.” It’s cold, but you keep your own voice chipper. 

“Sandra! Nice to meet you,” she’s in your college, so you’ll have to be cordial. “See you around?”

She just nods and lights a cigarette. 

As you walk away, one of Felix’s hands around your waist and the other holding your own, you look up at him. “Thank you so much. Holy shit. I was about to lose it.”

He lets out a low, intoxicated chuckle. “It’s what I’m here for, darling.” Uses his fingers on your chin, tugging lightly to kiss you hard on the mouth. He pulls away and you chase his lips, planting one more kiss on his mouth, this time softer. 

“Your room or mine?” You ask, to be met with a smirk as he grabs your hand and leads you across campus. It’s a path you could walk with your eyes closed, the muscle memory of so many nights embedded into your body by now. 

His room is all red carpet and wood paneling, empty takeout containers and beer cans and ashtrays strewn about. His bed is unmade and his textbooks are all over his floor, but it hardly matters when he’s kissing you like you’re the only person in the fucking universe. 

Within minutes, you settle back into a familiar routine. Clothes shed, completely bare to one another as you grind and writhe on top of him, hands on his toned chest. He’s gorgeous with his mouth open in ecstasy, labored breaths escaping it, eyes closed and clenched, hands rested on your waist as you move above him, a renaissance painting. You’re moaning too, tempering your whines so that the sounds don’t travel. The moon paints the room in subtle, cool light and the pleasure makes sweat bead on your brows.

“Missed you,” he manages between moans, voice heavy and breathy. “Missed this.” 

“It’s been like, two days,” you let out a chuckle, and it fades into a moan as you grind your hips again, trying not to scratch his chest with your manicured nails, though you doubt he'd mind too much.

“And that’s too long,” he replies, and you lean down and kiss him, open mouthed and messy and euphoric. 

When it’s all said and done, you lay naked beside him while he smokes a cigarette, arm laced around your bare shoulder, your head rested on his. It’s bliss, something you’ve begun to ache for all the time. “Really, thank you. That girl was driving me fucking insane.”

“That scene where your mom’s character and Hugh Grant ride off into the sunset together? Immaculate.” He mocks the girl, a surprisingly good impersonation, and you both belly laugh. You wipe away bits of red lipstick from his mouth and grin delicately at him. You know you’re not the only girl he’s seeing, not even the only girl he’s fucking, and it wedges something vile and dangerous in your heart. The words linger on your tongue. You want to ask, want to know, and if you sound desperate? Well, so be it. 

“What is this?” You wrench the words out quickly, looking at your hands. 

“What do you mean?” He takes a long drag of the cigarette, letting the smell perforate the air in the room, turning it cloudy in its wake. 

“Us,” you murmur, and he runs a hand through your hair. “Like… I know you’re fucking other people, Felix. And that’s fine but… I just want to be clear on what this.” 

He looks at you perplexed, smashing the cigarette in the ash tray and turning on his side toward you. You mirror his motions, so the two of you are laying in bed, you practically on top of him due to its size, your hands under your cheek. “I’m fucking other girls? News to me.” 

“I see the way you look at them,” you murmur. “India. Annabel. That guy you study with sometimes… Ryan?”

“I’m not fucking anyone else,” he mutters, seeming almost offended at the notion. He scoffs before his next words. “I practically haven’t even looked at anyone else.”

“Fe-“ he cuts you off, a hand brushing over your cheek, holding it delicately. 

“No,” he starts. “I know I have a reputation or whatever,” he waves his free hand around. “But I genuinely haven’t been seeing anyone else since we started… this.” He gestures between the two of you, and you can sense that he's lying, but it hardly matters. 

You’re almost self-conscious as his eyes rake over your body; so self aware of every little imperfection, every feature. The birthmark on your hip. The way one tit is just a bit bigger than the other. Your crooked finger from when you broke it playing volleyball in ninth grade. The gray hairs you’d been noticing popping up recently. 

“You’re the prettiest fucking girl at this college,” he says your name before kissing you sweetly. “Don’t want to look at anyone else.” You know it’s a lie, considering the fact that he does look at other girls, and often. It’s almost like you can’t bother to care, though. Your head is all floaty and tears are burning your eyes. 

He climbs on top of you, kisses down your chest, down your stomach, makes sure to take his time kissing that same birthmark you were so insecure about minutes before, your inner thighs, before finally landing where it matters most. 

“So fuckin’ beautiful, yeah?” He looks up at you with those gorgeous eyes, the earnestness in them making your heart swell up. In this moment, it’s not the same Felix that made you cry last week because he told you you needed to get your own friends (you have plenty), or the Felix that ignored you at the pub to talk to Annabel, causing you to storm out and ignore him for three days until he realized. 

Sometimes, he doesn’t care if you come, and he doesn’t clean up after himself, and sometimes his words bite, and last week he made that insensitive comment about your friend with depression. But you think you might love him, and it feels like enough. 

After, he asks you to stay with him. You laugh languidly, tears brimming at your eyes from how hard. He kisses you, soft and slow, the moonlight seeping into the window and painting the carpet with light; it looks like a lone puddle of blood in a sea of blackness. 

When you wake, it’s nearly noon. The sun beams through the curtains and you shield your eyes, trying to move underneath Felix’s strong grip. He’s got a hand wrapped around your thigh. Your leg wrapped around his waist while your arms are, slightly pained from the uncomfortable angle, folded around his neck. You regret moving your face from its spot in his chest, wanting nothing more than to occupy his space for as long as possible. 

You can’t bear to wake him, his eyelashes fluttering ever-so-slightly against his face. You smile, tuck yourself back into him, and feel his breaths come out relaxed and steady. The tranquility doesn’t last long, though, and you watch as his eyes flicker open. “Good morning,” his voice is raspy, his saccharine accent accentuating every word with posh sweetness. He kisses your cheek and gets up, your eyes meeting his bare ass. “I should go shower, you cool to stay here?” He asks as he gathers his things. 

“I need to go,” you also get up, searching around for your undergarments and your uncomfortable cocktail dress, pulling the blue, beaded garment on without much care. “Sundays are study days with June.”

You slip your uncomfortable heels on, wincing at the blister you’d developed last night but didn’t notice until now, and kiss him on the cheek as you leave his dorm. 

The trek across campus has you nearly limping in pain, as you kick your shoes off the second you make it into your room. You gather your shower gear, thankful for your own bathroom and the warmth of a long, hot shower. It’s almost painful to wash his scent off of you, but you know you’ll be seeing him again soon, and let your floral body wash cleanse you and your sore form. 

Before you get dressed, you grab antibiotic cream and bandaids from a drawer and tend to your blisters, throwing on a pair of slip-ons to avoid even more pain. 

And as you go to study with June, your mind is far from Shakespeare; it rests only on Felix, Felix, Felix. 

[kindly-whisper-norbury]

Since Jurassic Park is trending, I might as well mention that the first time I saw the movie, we had won four tickets (via radio call-in) to go see it the day before release in 1993. Now, back then it made you feel a bit privileged, getting to see a movie before it was officially released... so it was a whole event.

All the people who had won tickets (about a hundred of us all together) gathered together in this tiny little screening room at the Tower Theaters in South Hadley, Massachusetts. The screen was small, but that was okay, because none of us was really far away from it... and plus we got free popcorn and soda. Oh, and boxes of Jurassic Park themed "Raptor Bites" candy. That was nice!

Anyway, before the movie started this guy stepped to the front of the room to tell us that we were basically test subjects for the theater's brand new sound system. They had just had it installed, and so far only the people who worked there had experienced it, and it was incredibly deep and rich, to the point where it might even be a bit shocking. We all kinda laughed, then the movie started... and I kid you not, the first big rumble shook the seats so much that some people dropped their popcorn and a few actually stood up. And everyone was looking around like, what the hell? because it sounded like we were literally inside a speaker...

To this day, that is the most immersive movie experience I have ever had. The only other time I went to that theater was when Deadpool came out, and though I will say that the sound system was still as good as the first time, nothing can compare to the feeling I got when my seat shook along with the water in the cup when the T-Rex was drawing near...

[creativity-deficient]

Who is the nicest kid in South Park?

Honestly, the answer to that is pretty relative. Morality seems to be a pretty inconsistent thing on this show, so it’s hard to define the characters by their morals when they’re constantly changing.

HOWEVER, if you were to ask me-

Jimmy is the friendliest. Jimmy’s main goal in life is to make people laugh, which he does with his jokes. He’s shown to have a very friendly and positive attitude, showing kindness to others even when they don’t deserve it. He’s willing to befriend both Timmy and Nathan, despite both of them not treating him very kindly (initially, for Timmy at least), and it’s even mentioned by Cartman in “Casa Bonita” that Jimmy gets along with pretty much everyone.

Butters, Pip, and Tweek are the sweetest kids.

It’s no doubt that these 3 have hearts that are way too big for their little bodies

Tweek is shown to be a very empathetic and sensitive character, who cares for his friends deeply. He selflessly goes out of his way to save Stan, Kyle, and Cartman, despite them being nothing but trouble. He shows concern and grows visibly upset by the thought of them even getting PRETEND hurt in the fractured but whole, and he cries when he thinks they’re dead in stick of truth.

I don’t think there’s a single mean bone in Pip’s body, and if there is, it’s well deserved. Pip is shown to be a very polite and kind hearted kid, possibly one of the most so in the series, even comparing to Butters. And while sure, it IS implied that part of his passiveness comes from following Mackey’s advice, much of it seems to be genuine, and all this kid does is treat others with kindness, even though it is VERY much not deserved.

And Butters?? It’s well established at this point that Butters has one of the absolute biggest hearts in the show. Hes kind to everyone around him, even people like Eric Cartman or his parents. He gets mistreated by everyone, yet still cares about them, and is someone you can always count on in a time of need. Tbh, I don’t think there’s many that compare to Butters.

Kyle is the kid with the strongest morals.

Sure, he may come off a bit self-righteous at times, but I do think at the end of the day, Kyle is genuinely someone that cares about doing the right thing, and he’ll stick by these principles, even when others are against him, something that even the aforementioned above don’t do. It may make him seem like a bit of a buzzkill at times, but it is something I’ve always genuinely respected about him. He’s someone that always puts others first, and I do think it is very much worth noting.

And Kenny? Kenny is undoubtedly the most selfless character this show has to offer. The amount of times this kid has straight up SACRIFICED himself for both the good of his friends and the world is a feat that should NOT go unnoticed. Saving the Jew scouts in Jewbilee, going back to Hell with Satan in Bigger, Longer, Uncut, working tiredlessly to find a cure for covid and undo the damage his friends caused in the covid specials, and let’s not forget mysterion, a persona he created literally DEDICATED to helping others, and this isn’t even all of it. Kenny is a character who, despite all the bad cards he’s been handed in life, he still goes out of his way to help and do good for others, and THAT is something very much worthy of respect.

Special shoutouts to Heidi Turner and Tolkien. Heidi also having a very sweet and kindhearted personality before her relationship with Cartman, and Tolkien being referred to as the “nicest” by Butters himself, even though we don’t really see much of it compared to some of the other kids.

[moody-alcoholic]

Special Delivery Service

Chapter 12 - The Trip

18+ MDNI explicit content.

Summary: Simon x reader, 3.7k words. A trip up to Manchester to stop some terrorists, at least you get to spend time with Simon.

CW: 18+ MDNI explicit content. Smut, sexy times, grinding, oral (f receiving) slight over stimulation, PiV sex, crying during sex, description of weapons.

Previous - masterlist - Next

Enjoy <3

The drive up to Manchester was long, it felt longer then it was supposed to be. You didn’t mind though it meant you and Simon got to spend a lot of uninterrupted time together. 

“When was the last time you were back in Manchester?” You ask. 

“8 months.” Simon says. 

“What made you keep the flat?” 

“Don’t know, I didn’t want to get rid of it.” He says shrugging.

“What made you leave the army?” You ask. You’ve not talked with him much about his time in the military, but now he’s back to active duty it feels like you should learn more. 

“Price was getting old and he would have never quit. It would take an injury to bench him. I couldn’t let that happen. When our time was coming to re-enlist I pitched another idea to him.” He explains. 

“It was that easy?” You ask.

“Fuck no,” he laughs. “It took Johnny getting shot to convince him. Mission went south he almost got killed. He was in a coma for a week.” You look at him, his expression has changed, he looks sad.

You’re surprised Johnny hasn’t said anything with the way he loves to talk. Maybe it was a sensitive subject, maybe you would bring it up to him at some point. Get his side of the story.

“It’s nice that you all stuck together.” You say. He looks at you a smiles. 

“Yeah, I guess so. It wouldn’t have felt right not being together.” He says, you can hear a hint of something in his voice. His hands grip the steering wheel a little tighter and you decide to change the subject.

“So you’re like John’s deputy?” You ask. He laughs.

“Something like that, he beat me to the captain promotion by a week.” Simon says, you can hear the humour in his voice.

“Really?” You ask, creasing your eyebrows. 

“No, I never wanted to be a captain, too much responsibility.” He says. 

“Johnny said he wanted to be a captain.” You say, remembering a conversation you had last night. 

“Oh yeah?” Simon asks he turns to look at you and you nod. He chuckles. 

“Captain MacTavish. Christ.” 

“I think it has a nice ring to it.” You chuckle. 

“Yeah, next time you see him you should give it ago see how he reacts.” Simon laughs. Maybe you will. You’ve always enjoyed how Simon and Johnny seem to always find a way to wind each other up. You let Simon talk the rest of the drive. Telling you about the people he’s met, the places he’s been. It makes you jealous in a way thinking about all the cool things he’s managed to do. Maybe you could do it join the army, you’d never thought about it before. You feel like you’d be too old now besides you’re not sure how Simon would feel he did leave after all. 

It’s almost dark when you make it to the city. Simon’s flat is in the city centre, it’s a modern looking apartment building with private parking. He’s already on the phone ordering food from his favourite pizza place before you make it into the flat. The place is nice, open plan, bar the bathroom and bedroom, with a balcony. It reminds you of your place, small but functional. 

“Make yourself at home,” he says going to open the balcony door to let some air in. 

“The food will be here soon.” He’s not wrong you barely have time to change into your PJ’s before the doorbell rings. The pizza smells and looks amazing, he was right it was really good. You take it over to the couch and after he changes into something more comfortable he joins you.

You snuggle up against him letting him explain what’s happening in the football game. It’s nice you almost forget why you’re here and the fact he will be leaving tomorrow. He said he’ll be back every night but you know he can’t control it. He has to do what he has to do, even if that means you won’t see him for days on end. 

“Simon, you’ll stay safe right.” You say as you rub his stomach. 

“‘Cause I will, I’ll be back every night I promise.” He says kissing the top of your head. You smile and relax letting yourself believe it.

——————————  

It’s early when Simon leaves the next morning rushing out the door at almost 6am. He says he’ll pick food up on the way home for dinner. You kiss him still sleepy as he says goodbye insisting you stay in bed and go back to sleep. You didn't think you would be able to after he left thinking you would be too emotional and worried, but as soon as the front door clicks closed and your head hits the pillows you’re out like a light. 

You wake a few hours later and realise Simon has nothing in the house not even teabags. You get dressed and head out to the store taking the spare key he left for you on the kitchen counter. You get the basics, not too much though since you don’t know how long you’ll be staying. The rest of the day does seem to go slower maybe it’s the nerves of not know what he’s doing or how much danger he’s in. Maybe it’s just the fact you’re getting a bit sick of daytime TV. 

He texts you around 3 telling you he’ll be late and to order food for yourself. You’re disappointed but you expected it, you order food and something for him too in case he forgets to eat, or pick something up on the way home. You binge watch some drama show while you watch the sunset, checking your phone what feels like every 5 seconds.

By 9pm you’re exhausted and upset you’re going to bed without him. You strip reaching into his bag and throwing on one of his shirts. At least it smells like him. You stay away watching the clock tick on the bedside table, before you know it you’re asleep.

Its late when you hear Simon come back, you look over at the clock it’s past midnight. You reach over pulling a blanket off the chair and wrapping it round your shoulders. You out the room, you see him in the kitchen opening the fridge and pulling out a bottle of water. He slams the fridge letting out a long breath. 

“Hey,” You say, he turns to look at you as he opens the bottle. 

“Rough day?” He leaves the kitchen flopping down on the sofa. 

“Go back to bed.” He says sighing, rubbing his forehead. You ignore him going to sit next to him. He smells of smoke. You lean up against him resting your arm over his stomach.

“Want to talk about it?” You ask. He leans over putting the bottle on the coffee table. 

“It’s just a frustrating part of the job, lots of red tape, bureaucracy.” He sighs. 

“Waiting for orders?” You ask. 

“Yeah, waiting for orders.” He repeats. You can hear the frustration in his voice. You move your hand up his chest then to his face, stroking his cheek with your thumb as you pull his lips to yours. His hand finds your thigh and you’re already melting into his kiss. You don’t know what it is, maybe it’s the change of scenery, maybe it’s the fact you got further then you’ve ever been before last night.

You don’t care you shut the feelings out as warmth travels through your body. Before you psych yourself out you swing your leg over his legs straddling him. He scoots down the sofa letting your hips rock against him until you feel his cock harden. His hands work up your top, lips still locked on you as the kiss becomes a sloppy mess, too much tongue too fast. 

“I want you so bad.” You say, you’re almost begging but you mean it, you want to feel him on you, in you. His mouth runs down your neck sucking on the soft skin leaving his mark. 

“I know you do, you have me. All of me.” He says looking back up at you. You smile leaning back in to kiss him again. You let him unclasp your bra pulling on the hem of your shirt as you let him take it off over your head. His hands work up to your breasts, cupping them in his hands. 

“Gorgeous,” he breathes before his lips lock round one of your nipples. You stop grinding against him feeling his cock twitch as his tongue flicks your nipple sending vibrations straight down to your desperate cunt. You are desperate for the first time you feel an ache between your legs like never before.

Last night you got a taste and it felt amazing now all you want to do is chase that feeling. He’s moaning on you as your hands run up the back of his neck and through his hair. You’re moaning too, your hips betraying you and grinding up against him again. 

“Baby, you’re soaking through my pants.” He says pulling his mouth off your nipple. 

“I’m sorry,” you say as you stop grinding.

“It’s okay, don’t worry.” He says his hands coming up to your face making you look in his eyes. 

“Let’s go to the bedroom,” he says, his hands falling down to your hips. You lean back trying to move your legs but he stops you gripping your ass and pulling you in his arms as he stands up. You let out a yelp wrapping your hands round his neck as he carries you into the bedroom. You smile as he gently places you down on the bed kneeling over you. You drop your arms from his neck as he kisses you. It feels good and you let your hands grip his waist. 

“I love you Simon.” 

“I love you too.” He replies kissing you on the cheek quickly before standing up between your knees pulling his shirt over his head. His muscles look bigger in the dark the light coming through the window highlighting each mark on his body. He bends over you again kissing your lips slowly. 

“Let me look after you.” He says his voice low, breath hot against your ear. You don’t know how to respond instead just let yourself enjoy his touch on your body as he slides down to take your underwear off. You hold your breath as he pulls you to the edge of the bed slightly. He kneels down your legs resting on his shoulders as he kisses your thighs. You feel his mouth working its way up, slowly. Before you know it his hot tongue parts your folds. He pauses for a second almost trying to see if it’s too much.

It’s not, and before you know it his tongue is thrust against your entrance. You know you’re wet enough when he lets his tongue get coated in your slick dragging it up to your clit pressing those tight little circles you’re used to.

His hands run up your thighs gripping your hips pulling you deeper into his mouth. It feels amazing, almost too good. You want to cum, his mouth sucking on your clit lapping up your juices as you squirm in his grip. You don’t remember the last time you’ve cum from someone just using their mouth but it’s happening faster then you can think.  

His name leaves your lips as your hand reaches down to grab his hair. He doesn’t stop riding you through the orgasm even as your thighs tighten around his head. You’re panting, your brain not quite comprehending what just happened as you come down from the high. His tongue makes one last brush of your clit making your body shake from overstimulation. 

“You okay?” He asks coming back up to meet your face, his fingers brush your cheeks.

“That was amazing.” You say smiling at him in the dim light. You see him smile back his lips still coated in your juices. He kisses you quickly and you taste yourself on him, it’s sweet and thick. 

“Want to stop?” He asks. You could stop, be satisfied with your orgasm and fall asleep right now. No. You want more, you need more, you want to feel him inside of you. You shake your head. 

“Okay,” he says standing up between your legs. 

“I’ll just be a sec.” You watch as he disappears out the room. You just lay there waiting for a few seconds before he’s back again. You see the glint of something in his hand as he steps in front of you again. He reaches down pulling his pants and boxers off. You lay there propped up on your elbows as you see his cock resting against his stomach.

You’re watching in awe as he strokes it pressing on the tip with his thumb smothering the bead of precum down his length. He lets out a moan as he rips a condom packet open with his free hand and mouth. You watch as he pulls it down his thick, leaking cock. This is it, it’s happening. You have to be brave, you can do this. 

“I’ll take it slow.” He says bending over you using one of his hands to press against your entrance. You expect to feel him push his fingers inside you but instead they’re replaced with the head of his cock. He leans over you, one hand guiding himself into you the other holding himself up. 

“You ready?” He asks his tip still teasing you. 

“Yeah,” you breathe as you wrap your hands round his neck. His hand guides himself inside slowly, he’s watching you, eyes darting round your face. It feels like the air is forced out your lungs as his cock fills you up. He’s big, thick, you gasp as he presses himself fully inside you. 

“Simon-” his name leaving your lips as he holds himself inside you. 

“You okay?” He asks his free hand wrapping around the back of your neck. 

“Yeah, just need a sec, you’re big.” You say forcing yourself to relax as he twitches inside you. 

“Christ love, keep talking like that and I won’t be able to last.” You look up at the smile on his lips. He leans down and kisses you, its a nice kiss, a deep kiss his tongue exploring your mouth as he gently starts to thrust his hips. He takes it slow pulling his lips away from you to read your reaction. He feels good, your hands moved from his neck down his back and you feel his muscles tightening as they work driving him deep inside you. Your back arches as he picks up the pace, you feel full, he’s hitting a spot deep inside you you didn’t know existed.

Every moan he makes is like music to your ears making your pussy flutter round him which just makes him trust harder, you thought it would hurt, or feel wrong but it doesn’t. It feels so right, his hand on the back of your neck, his little kisses he plants on your lips and nose. You mind is quiet just here in the moment with him, it feels good, almost too good. Your breath catches in your throat mid moan as the tears spill down your cheeks. He immediately feels the change in your body language stopping and looking down at you. 

“What’s wrong baby?” He asks, his hand coming from the back of your head to stroke your cheek. 

“I- I don’t know.” You sniffle feeling embarrassed, but you smile to let him know you’re okay.

“Want me to stop?” You shake your head, bringing one of your hands up to brush the tears away. 

“I just need a second.” You say sniffling. You can do this, you’ve got this far. 

“You’re doing so well.” He says leaning down to kiss you another deep kiss that you let yourself get lost in. Distracting you from the tears as he works his tongue in your mouth. His movements start again his hips bucking into you quickly chasing up to the speed he was at before. Somehow it feels better then before the thrusts longer and deeper, his moans hot in your ear. 

“Simon-” you breathe running your fingers down his back you feel goosebumps rise on his skin. It’s like your breath is being taken away with each smash against your cervix. 

“Baby you feel amazing.” He says, the praise makes your heart flutter you’ve never had praise during sex before. You swallow the lump, blinking the tears away, you’re pretty sure if he saw you crying again he would stop. You don’t want to stop it feels too good and you can feel yourself getting closer to the edge. You relax as much as you can letting the waves of pleasure wash over you. Your mind blank gripping onto the man you love as he pants in your ear. You don’t try and stop it when you get close his name leaving your lips, nails digging into his back. 

“It’s okay baby, cum for me.” He breathes in your ear. His voice is low sending shivers up your spine as you clench around him. 

“Thats it, good girl.” It’s what you needed to hear you don’t know why your brain is a foggy mess as you climax. You almost miss the fact that he’s coming too as your back arches, his thrusts slowing. He’s breathing into your neck planting little kisses telling you how well you did as he throbs inside you waiting till your panting has stopped before gently pulling out of you. It makes you feel almost empty, you lay there waiting for your heart rate to normalise, enjoying the sensations still lingering in your body. 

“You okay?” He asks, you prop yourself up on your elbows, looking at him as he stands naked at the end of the bed. 

“Yeah, I love you.” You smile at him. 

“I love you too.” He leans down to kiss you. 

“Want to take a shower?” He asks. 

“Together?” 

“If you want.” He says chuckling, he holds his hands out for you and you take them letting him help you off the bed. He warps his arm around you as he takes you into the bathroom. You get in the shower adjusting the water so it’s nice and warm. A few seconds later he steps in behind you. His arms wrap round your you and you sink into his embrace. He washes your body meticulously going over each part like he can’t touch it enough. You stroke his chest asking about his scars. Some he tells you about, others he just kisses you instead.

You could fall asleep in his arm right there, the room steaming up, his hands gently moving round your body. You let out a sigh into his chest as he turns the water off helping you out the shower. You reach over grabbing a towel for him and one for yourself. The walk to the bedroom turns into another sloppy make out session as you try not to trip over each others feet. You’re too tired and blissed out to care as you finish drying up searching for a clean pair of underwear. He hands you back the shirt you had on before and you pull it on and climb into bed. He climbs in next to you pulling you up against his chest. You close your eyes breathing him in as he kisses your forehead. 

“I’m so proud of you.” He whispers as he pulls the duvet over you both. You smile relaxing into his arms. You mumble in response, letting his arms squeeze you. 

“Thank you.” You say, words slurring as you fight to stay away, wanting to enjoy his touch for as long as possible.

“Shhh, just sleep.” He says, his hand running down your back. You listen to him pressing your head up against his chest so you can hear his heart beating. 

  ——————————  

The sound of Simon’s phone ringing pulls you out of your amazing dream. A dream where you and Simon got to spend as much time together as possible. You feel him move his warm hands off you as he reaches over to answer it. You hear the one sided conversation as you turn over to wrap your arms round him. 

“Already?” You ask as he puts the phone down, nuzzling your head into his neck.  

“I know I’m sorry.” He sitting up in the bed making you drop your arms. You sigh looking over at your phone which needs charging. 

“Do you have a charger?” You ask as he gets up leaving the room.

“There should be a spare charger in the bedside table.” He calls from the living room. You go over and open the drawer. Your heart stops for a second as you see the charger laying next to a pistol. You curse at yourself you should be used to this by now. He’s soldier, probably has many more stashed away. You get the charger and close the drawer, your hands shaking like you’ve just witnessed something you should not have seen. The weapon reminded you of the one your ex had. Sleek and black, like the ones you’ve seen in action movies. 

“I’ll be back earlier tonight.” He says sticking his head round the door. He’s already dressed. You smile at him, he comes over leaning down to kiss you. 

“I love you,” he says. “So much.” 

“I love you too.” You reply, he strokes your cheek as his phone starts ringing in his pocket again. He curses under his breath and rushes out to leave. 

“See you later.” He calls as you hear the door close. You look back at the bedside table opening it again slightly to see the gun. It’s not as scary as it first looked. You think back to the house in Paris when you let them get away with bugging the place. You had nothing to defend yourself with, it was the right thing to do. Your rational brain tells you. If you had a gun though the situation would have been different.

You reach in taking it out. It’s heavy, the metal cold in your hands. You have no idea what you’re doing just turning it over looking at each part. Your hands are shaking as you press the trigger but it doesn’t move. You frown looking where the mag should go. It’s empty. A deep fear rises in you. You pulled the trigger on a gun. It makes you feel sick you put it back in the drawer closing it up. Your heart is pounding in your chest. You can’t tell Simon about this he’ll take it away.

You want to keep it, have something you can use to keep yourself safe. You don’t know why it makes you feel powerful but it does. You reach over plugging your phone in and open the browser. Guess today you were going to learn how to fire a gun. 

Next

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[mango-bango-bby]

Could I request platonic dads Izuku and Shoto taking their toddler out for to the park and get’s caught by one of their fans?

♡ Playground ♡

Content Warning ⚠️: Yandere, characters are aged up, platonic yandere, TodoDeku, parents TodoDeku, toddler!reader, mentions of paparazzi

Summary: Your fathers did their best to keep you hidden from the public but this goes south when a fan recognizes them (Platonic!Yan!Izuku x GN!toodler!reader x Platonic!Yan!Todoroki)

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

You loved the park. You lit up at even the idea of going down to the park. You loved the slides, trying to climb up the small rock wall, and your favorite was the swings! Your dads never objected to this though, usually taking days off when the other was working to be with you. Your dads loved taking you to the park though, they loved how you smiled as you played.

Shoto and Izuku sit on a nearby bench watching you collect leaves from the ground in your hands. You run over to your dads, immediately handing off your pile of leaves to Izuku.

“Why, thank you” He chuckles watching you run back onto the playground. “More?” You ask, leaning down to grab more. “No, sweetie, I have enough leaves” He laughs watching you walk over to the slide before pointing up at it.

Shoto gets up, going over to place you on the slide. You were still too young to climb up the ladder onto the slide. “You want papa to catch you?” He asks, placing you at the top of the slide.

They caught you as you got to the end of the slide as they were worried about you landing in the wood chips and accidentally hurting yourself.

You hum, before sliding down giggling as you do so before Izuku catches you. “Shoto?” A girl in her teens calls out, two friends with her. They thought they could let down their guard a bit as the playground was secluded but it seems not. He turns around to face them, Izuku holding you, keeping your face against his shoulder as he leaves to go to the car.

“It’s really you. Can we get a picture?” She asks, star struck by seeing a top pro-hero in real life. “Not today, it’s a bad time” He says flatly, he was never one to be incredibly welcoming to fans. Especially outside of his hours.

Luckily Izuku pulled up at the right time, you peaking up to the window from your car seat. You almost threw a fit about having to leave the park so suddenly but Izuku promised you ice cream. “Uhm, have a nice day” Shoto says to the fans before leaving to get into the car.

They were very serious about protecting your identity so they couldn’t believe they weren’t more careful even if the playground was quiet and secluded. You peak up at the window, waving at the fans as Izuku drives off.

They only hoped that they wouldn’t talk about seeing you with other people. They had seen rumors like that lead to paparazzi being involved and interview questions about their home lifes with other heros.

Perhaps they should get you a playground or play set for the yard, then you would be safer.

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

Thank you for reading, darling!!

(A/N: I haven’t written for platonic TodoDeku yet so I’m very excited!! I hope you like this, I think it’s pretty cute 🥺🥺 They’d definitely be great dads, even if very protective!)

Masterlist ➸ ♡

[hunnysnoops]

˗ˋ𝕎𝕙𝕚𝕥𝕖 𝕋𝕖𝕖𝕥𝕙 𝕋𝕖𝕖𝕟𝕤ˊ˗

Chapter Nine: Take Me Out

Kyle Broflovski x fem reader

So if you’re lonely, you know I’m here waiting for you and if you leave here, you’ll leave me broken. Shattered I lie.

Also available on Ao3 and Wattpad!

Premise: Over the course of days and eventually weeks you grow closer with Kyle as feelings begin to shift.

Warnings: crude language and humour

MASTERLIST

.˙꩜°˖:*࿔ ☼ ࿔*:˖°꩜˙.

June 29

You and Kyle rush through the park, the world around you blurring as your feet pound against the pavement. The sun filters through the canopy of leaves overhead, casting dappled shadows that dance along the path. You feel the wind in your hair and the exhilaration of the run in your chest, your breaths coming fast but steady.

Recently, you had been looking forward to your runs with Kyle. You had always hated doing it with others, either too slow, stopping too often, or talking too much but there was a sweet spot with Kyle that you didn't mind in the slightest. 

There are several children playing soccer to your left, and you can hear their enthusiastic yells as they play. A couple walks their corgi to your right, the dog is so obscenely fat that his stomach almost scrapes the ground though he seems happy. 

You match his stride by the pond, where the water reflects the clear blue sky and the swarms of ducks gliding across its surface. Kyle slows down, and you equal his pace, both of you breathing heavily but smiling wide. "You're getting faster."

You laugh, the sound light and relaxed. "Maybe you're getting slower," you tease back. He rolls his eyes, but there's a twinkle in them that shows he enjoys the banter.

"Can you ever just take a compliment?"

"Uh, nope," You grin turning for the exit of the park. Your lungs burned in the perfect kind of way. 

The energy shifts instantly as you break away from the still park and enter town, the quiet rustle of leaves replaced by the hum of human life. Cars honk, people chat as they pass by, and the air is filled with the scent of food from nearby cafes and food trucks. Hanging in the air is the strong smell of liquor from a smashed bottle of tequila that crunches beneath your sneakers. 

Kyle is still ahead, his pace unwavering as he navigates through the crowd. You follow close behind, weaving through pedestrians and occasionally bumping shoulders. The buildings loom tall around you, their glass facades reflecting the afternoon sun.

As you turn a corner, something catches your eye. You come to an abrupt stop, causing Kyle to glance back, curious. There, plastered on a wall among a collage of posters and flyers, is an advertisement for an upcoming concert. The bold, colourful design grabs your attention, but it's the picture of the band that really makes you pause. The heading reads 'Suburban Wasteland' one of the hidden gems you listened to almost on a regular. They sang to your edgy little middle school self who went through an emo phase and claimed you would be that way forever. 

The lead singer stands front and center, his eyes smouldering and his messy hair perfectly tousled. He's cute, undeniably so, and you find yourself staring at the poster, your heart beating a little faster for reasons other than the run. "Oh my god," You mutter.

Kyle halts to a stop and walks to your side, staring at the poster. His eyebrows knit together as he takes in what he's seeing "What?"

You hadn't heard him, expression softening as you focused in on the tour dates. "Look!" You point at one of the dates, eyes lighting up "They're coming to South Park!" 

"You actually listen to these guys?" He looks at the four men on the poster 

"Yes!" You grab his arm and shake it, swaying his body in doing so. You were almost screaming the pure excitement that was running through you like lightning causing passersby to cast you judgmental glares. You weren't sure you had been so thrilled about something since you started high school. "They're here in July, we should go!" 

"Is he wearing eyeliner?" Kyle narrowed his eyes at the poster. At first glance, they looked like some corny screamo boyband from the early 2000s, brought to life by ripped skinny jeans and deep side parts. 

"He's so hot," You mutter, hands still gripped onto Kyle's arm without even noticing how tightly you were holding him. 

 "That's the kinda guy you're into?" He abruptly swerves his head to look at you. His eyes widen for a brief moment before they narrow in at you, his lips downturned in a slight frown. 

Your hands drip from where they rest on his arms "Yeah, I guess." Your near shaking with elation at the thought of the band you played on loop daily coming to your little bumpkin town. "Do you wanna go with me?"

He rubs the back of his neck "Don't you want to go with Red or something?"

"Red's going to Alaska at the end of July."

"Why is Red going to Alaska in July?"

"Doesn't matter," You answer "They're really cool, I think you'll actually like their songs-

"I'm sure they're fine. But I'm not really into that type of stuff?"

“What do you mean that type of stuff?"

"Like angry thrashers pushing each other around and breaking necks in a mosh pit," He says, sweat still glistening on his brow, only accentuated by the blaring sun overhead. 

"None of my friends like this thing, please?" Your eyes go wide, silently pleading with him.

He bites the inside of his cheek for a second, staring you down, his thoughts bouncing back and forth like a game of ping pong "I don't really like it either."

“I know you don’t really listen to that genre but-

“I’m not going,” He says, firm.

You give up, rolling your eyes. Your shoulders slump a little, disappointment washing over you. Taking one last longing look at the poster before resuming your pace, you resume your run, pushing aside the lingering let down "You're boring," You call back to Kyle "And slow."

.˙꩜°˖:*࿔ ☼ ࿔*:˖°꩜˙.

July 4

As you sit at the back of the dimly lit restaurant, the clatter of plates and the murmur of the last few lingering customers fade into the background. The cold, metallic touch of cutlery presses against your fingers as you roll knife after fork into napkins, your movements mechanical and practiced. 

You were nearing the end of your shift though there were still bins of cutlery left for you to roll into little place sets before you could go home. This wasn't exactly how you wanted to spend your fourth of July, especially when all your friends were out and about, living it up while you developed blisters on your feet from countless hours jetting around a restaurant.

The fourth of July seemed like a good cash grab to make good tips but you were proved wrong by the amount of rowdy tourists who talked a big game but tipped you very little if anything at all. You had ended the night with less than you came in with, the tips were so poor you had to use your own pocket money to tip out the house, bartender, and kitchen.

There was the same awful 80s playlist reverberating through the speakers. It was the same 60 songs over and over again, you knew them so well you could recite every lyric and the more you heard them, the more you hated them. You were almost tempted to take two steak knives and shove them into your ears.

Some shifts were so bad that you just needed to sit in silence, this was one of them. The fourth of July was one of your favourite holidays and your evil manager had coerced you into missing it. The worst part for you was the fact that you didn't get to see any of the fireworks, you just heard them faintly outside along with the sounds of people actually enjoying their night.

You wore your little black dress in the hopes of racking up more tips but instead, you had another server knock their customer's drinks onto you, drenching you in the smell of red wine and ceasers. There were little bits of the ceaser spice still visible on your dress while you continued rolling cutlery and biting the inside of your cheek to avoid screaming.

Outside, the sky is dark, with only a faint glow from distant fireworks that you can't quite see. You missed them again this year, the bursts of colour and the laughter of friends and family. The fourth of July has come and gone while you served tables, refilled water jugs, and plastered on a tired smile. 

You think of the sparklers you loved as a child, the barbecue smells, and the warmth of being surrounded by your family. Tonight, the warmth comes only from the overhead lights the persistent hum of the kitchen appliances and the cursing coming from the remaining staff. It didn't help this overwhelming feeling that your dad dropped you off on your way to work, meaning you didn't have your car or a ride home.

Checking your phone only made you feel worse. No new messages. The majority of your friends were at Clyde's party while you hummed along to old rock n' roll songs you've grown accustomed to hate. His party was long over, you had seen through Snapchat stories that the cops showed up. It was nearing twelve am, it was almost the fifth and you had wasted your day.

You weren't sure you could hold your tears back for another minute until your co-worker poked her head into the backroom "Your boyfriends here," Brooke says, walking in and grabbing her phone off the table that had cutlery sprawled out over top. 

"I don't have a boyfriend," You say, furrowing your eyebrows.

"I don't care," She says while tapping around on her phone "Someone's here for you."

Quickly, you tie off your last napkin roll and poke your head out of the staff room door to see Kyle awkwardly standing by the host stand. You bite back a smile, diving for your locker and snatching your bag from it. You hurriedly throw your hoodie on over your dress and spritz some body spray in an attempt to mask the smell of liquor soaked into your dress. 

"Wait, you didn't clock out," Brooke looks up from her phone, watching you as you walk out of the staff room.

"You know what really hasn't clocked out?" You ask and continue without waiting for an answer "Racism, bullying, soap brows, maybe you should get on that first."

You walk down the corridor towards the front door, tugging your skirt down and pushing hair away from your face as you approach Kyle. He looks up from his phone and spots you.

"What are you doing here?" you ask, a smile tugging at your lips despite your tiredness.

"Your dad told me he dropped you off today, I'm taking you home."

"Oh," You keep a smile on your face despite the urge to let it drop. 

As the two of you leave the restaurant and step into the dry heat, he shoves his hands into his pockets "How was work?"

"Fucking shitty," You answer, feeling no urge to sugarcoat "Just a bunch of asshole tourists who smell like cavities."

"What does a cavity smell like?"

"Like plaque build-up and sour breath," You answer, wrinkling your nose at the thought alone. "Uh, how was Clydes?"

Kyle shrugs "Fine, I guess, nothing special."

"You didn't drink?"

"Nah," He opens the door to his car, flicking the light on and waiting for you to climb into the passenger seat. "I left early, actually."

"What? Why?" You shut the door as you get in, dropping your bag to the floor of the car "I wanted to go so bad."

"Just felt like I could've been doing something better with my night," As you and Kyle settle into the car, the familiar scent of his aftershave mingles with the cool night air. The engine hums to life, and the car glides out of the parking lot, leaving behind the warm glow and the remnants of another awful shift. 

You worried if he could smell the liquor on you or the steak sauce but he gave no indication, eyes focused on the road as he drove. "Were the fireworks cool at least?"

"Yeah, they were."

The streets are mostly quiet now, a subtle contrast to the earlier hustle and bustle of Fourth of July celebrations and drunk partygoers, roaming the streets decked out in patriotic accessories from the dollar tree. Streetlights cast elongated shadows, flickering as you pass beneath them. The rhythmic click of the turn signal is a comforting sound, a steady beat that matches your slowly calming heartbeat as your eyelids begin to grow heavy.

You notice the little details as you drive: the way the trees sway gently in the wind, their leaves rustling like a whisper; the soft glow of porch lights in the distance, each one a silent witness to the night's festivities, air running through them like whispers. You pass a park where sparklers flicker in the hands of teenagers, their laughter carries through the now-hushing night.

Kyle glances at you, a smile playing on his lips as he sees you taking it all in. He doesn't rush, allowing you to soak up every moment. The radio plays softly, a nostalgic tune that seems to fit the sleepy mood perfectly. You hum along absentmindedly, despite the disappointment you were coming to terms with it all.

"Where are you going?" You ask as Kyle turns onto a narrow, gravel path leading up a small hill. The car bumps along the uneven road, and your eyebrows furrow at the sound of animals rustling mingling with the crunch of gravel under the tires. "Please don't kidnap me, I'm too tired to fist fight but I do have a corkscrew in my bag," You say, waiting a beat and then filling the silence "Fine, you got me, I stole the corkscrew from my manager." That was true. You were so angry and fed up that you went into her purse and stole the corkscrew her husband gave her for her anniversary, it even had her initials carved into it. You figured she drank enough and you were doing her a favour.

"I'm not kidnapping you, Jesus," His eyes are steady on the beaten road "Just wait." He looks at you for a second "And give that corkscrew back."

"I dunno, sounds like something a kidnapper would say," You tap your fingers on the dashboard. “And the really Kyle would never tell me to give something stolen back.”

“Yes, he would.” He pulls up to a small hill overlooking the town, yanking the keys out of the ignition. Wordlessly, Kyle gets out of the car and gestures for you to follow him. You decide against the idea of him kidnapping you and trail him to a grassy spot that overlooks the town.

Kyle looks down at his watch before looking back up at the sky. He stands beside you, close enough that you can feel his warmth. The inky black sky is punctuated by the sudden, brilliant explosions of light. Like a gigantic chrysanthemum, a flash of red blooms, each flower trailing shimmering flames as it dies. Then there's a silvery waterfall that shimmers as if it's trapped in midair. With each fireworks being more spectacular than the last, you watch, transfixed, as the colours change and intensify.

The air smells faintly of smoke and summer, it takes you right back to the last Fourth of July you spent at Bebe's house, watching the show from the roof of her house and downing Dr. Pepper. The fireworks paint the sky with vibrant hues- fiery oranges, deep blues, radiant greens- each of which leaves a brief afterimage against the night sky.

You glance at Kyle, his face illuminated by the bursts of light. His eyes are wide with wonder, and there's a content smile on his lips. The reflection of the fireworks dances in his eyes like a mirror. 

The grand finale begins, and the sky erupts in a riot of colour and sound. Rapid-fire bursts fill the air, overlapping in a dazzling display that takes your breath away. The booms are louder, the lights brighter, and for a few moments, the sky is swallowed whole with chaos and beauty.

As the last firework fades, leaving trails of smoke that slowly dissipate into the night, a peaceful silence settles over the hilltop. The minute passes over and so does the holiday, the last fireworks of the night and you had a front-row seat. The stars, previously outshone, now reclaim their place in the sky, twinkling softly. Kyle turns to face you "Worth it?"

"Could've been better," You tease, sarcasm hanging from your tone. You know for sure this is one memory you will be forever clinging to. 

.˙꩜°˖:*࿔ ☼ ࿔*:˖°꩜˙.

July 9

Both yours and Kyle's family gathered in your living room for game night, which felt long overdue. The teams were you and Kyle, Weston and Ike, Your mother and Sheila, your father and Gerald. There was hardly even competition between the four groups, you and Kyle were sweeping them. 

"Whose turn is it?" Your mom asks looking around the room. 

"Weston and Ike," You answer, pushing your brother off the couch and taking his spot, pulling your knees to your chest and yanking a throw blanket overtop.

Ike sits on the floor and leans against the armchair his brothers sitting on, watching as Weston digs around into the popcorn bowl filled with prompts. He pulls a slip of paper out and groans when he reads it "Bruh," He draws out "I don't even know this one."

"Just pick another one," Your dad tells him, he's nursing a glass of wine and standing behind the couch like a vulture.

"Dude," Weston crumples up the slip of paper and chooses a new one "I dunno this one either."

"Just try your best," Sheila tells him.

Weston holds his arms out and begins to enthusiastically flail them. "Shake?" Ike asks, face utterly perplexed as your brother lets out another groan and then begins to convulse his body. "Earthquake?" At Ike's second guess, your brother pauses, runs his hands down his face then begins to violently shake again.

"Seizure?" Your dad asks, eyebrows drawing in at the sight of his son "What is this?"

Your brother clenches his fist, taking a deep breath in then he mimes juggling, but his hands flail wildly, and it's hard to tell if he's juggling invisible balls or trying to swat away imaginary flies. His exaggerated movements have everyone squinting and guessing wildly. "Stroke?" Ike asks, mouth slightly agape while he tries to decode your brother's rapid movements. 

Weston shakes his head vigorously and switches tactics. He starts hopping in place, then drops to all fours, pretending to be an animal of some sort, but it's not clear which one. He growls, then stands up and begins doing it deep lunges back and forth, switching legs.

“Furry?" Ike asks "Gym? Exercise?" 

"Bruh, no," He then stands still and makes a grand sweeping gesture with his arms, as if presenting something spectacular.

"Circus?" Ike guesses again to which Weston shakes his head. 

Weston balls his hand up into a fist and cracks it through the air like he's whipping something. Everyone in the room awkwardly glances at one another, waiting for it to end.

"Cat woman? Batman?" Just for a moment, Ike thinks he is close and then Weston shakes his head once again. Weston starts jumping in place and moving his hands in tight circles like he's skipping rope. Your eyes shift to Kyle, both of you too confused to laugh "I give up!" Ike throws his hands up in defeat "You're awful at this."

"It's the Great Gatsby, bruh," Weston exasperated like it was obvious what he was trying to portray. 

"What was great about that?" Your mom asks, only half joking. 

"I'm gonna lie," You say "That was really good." The second the parents look away your brother sticks up his middle finger for the briefest moment before wedging himself between you and your mom on the couch. You stand up walk to the spot in front of the TV and pull out the slip.

You hold up three fingers on each hand, looking at Kyle "Six words?” He asks and you nod. You hold out one finger to symbolize the first word, Kyle's deep in focus as he watches you. You begin to draw out an infinity symbol in the air with your finger. "Infinity? Forever? Always?" His eyebrows draw in deep and you can see the gears turning in his mind "Eternal!"

Holding up a quick thumbs up, you move on to the fifth word, pretending that you're spraying the air with cleaner and wiping it off.

"Clean? Maid? Tidy? Spray? Wash? Scrub?" 

You shake your head, continuing to do the motion. After thirty more seconds of him not getting it, you move on to the sixth word and start pointing at your head, tapping it and eventually patting it with the palm of your hand.

"Brain? Head?" He stares at you trying to piece together the other clues and muttering to himself "Mind?" He asks and you nod enthusiastically. He slaps his knee, shooting to stand up "Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!"

"Yes!" You exclaim, immediately rushing over to give him a high five. "Eat it shrimps!" You shout at both of your brothers "Being illiterate isn't so funny now, is it?"

"I miss when they were screaming at each other," Weston mutters to Ike.

.˙꩜°˖:*࿔ ☼ ࿔*:˖°꩜˙.

July 13

You and Kyle hurried into the dimly lit theatre, the screen already glowing with the opening credits as you scanned for empty seats. The hushed murmurs of the audience and the faint sound of dialogue filled the air, punctuated by the occasional burst of chatter from those already settled in.

"Over there," Kyle whispered, pointing to a row near the middle of the theatre. You nodded and followed him, trying to tread lightly as you squeezed past knees and feet in the dim light. Each step felt like an intrusion into the quiet atmosphere of the theatre.

As you reached your row, you realized it was already almost full. A couple gave you a disapproving look as you attempted to slide past them, their eyes narrowing in annoyance. Kyle muttered a quick apology, but you could feel the tension in the air as you squeezed into your seats.

Trying to settle in quietly, you fumbled with your jacket and bag, the soft rustling seeming to echo loudly in the stillness. You exchanged a sheepish glance with Kyle, both of you acutely aware of the eyes on you from nearby patrons who were less than pleased with your tardy arrival.

You didn't expect to find yourself so caught up in the movie, it was an incredibly corny action film and kept finding yourself making faces at the cheesy bots which was almost the entire thing.  Kyle kept stifling sniggers whenever you would mock the movie.

"He's right behind me, isn't he?" The lead protagonist turns around to see his enemy behind him. He pulls a large rifle from his trenchcoat and the two enact in an overly acted fight scene.

"Jeez, he's dressed like someone's imaginary friend," You utter under your breath.

"Sh!" You hear from behind you. You turn to see a large man, his greasy hair tied into a ponytail and a stringy beard that made its way down his neck. You mouth a sorry and look back at the screen. 

The movie got worse the longer you watched, they had managed to pull out every single cliche and implement it into a plot with stiff dialogue and flat characters. Your boredom only grew, the only thing entertaining was a little whisper passed between you and Kyle. 

However, every time you leaned over to share a quick remark with Kyle, you felt a sharp "Shh!" from the man seated directly behind you. His voice was low but firm, cutting through the air like a disapproving whisper.

Startled, you glanced back, catching a glimpse of his stern expression and raised finger before turning back to the screen, cheeks tinged with embarrassment. Kyle stifled a chuckle beside you, clearly amused by the unexpected scolding.

During another action scene, Kyle ducks his head into his elbow and sneezes "You know, if you're sick, just stay home," The man from behind you speaks again, his jaw clenched tight in irritation. 

"You know, if you reek of body order, just stay home," You retort. 

"Excuse me?" He says.

"Yeah, excuse you."

"Calm down," Kyle puts one hand on your shoulder to steady you then looks at the man "We're sorry."

"Oh, of course. The boyfriend steps in to play peacemaker," he sneered. "Put a damn muzzle on your girlfriend," The man says to Kyle. He turns his attention back to the movie but you've already turned around, knees on the seat while you hang over the back and glare at the man. 

"Put a muzzle on yourself, that way you might not look like you ate the ham burglar." You whisper-shout. 

"Don't talk to her like that, man," Kyle adds, also turning around to face him. 

The man's face grows red "You better watch-

"Sh!" You say, watching the man look stunned. Silence stretches between the three of you and when the man opens his mouth to speak you do it again "Sh!"

"Okay-

"Shhhh," You draw out putting a finger over your mouth. "How many pubes did you have to steal from motel shower drains until you had enough to glue on your chin?" You point at his scruffy neck-beard, staring him dead in the eyes. 

"Are you done?" The man asks, huffing.

"Yeah, sure," You snap, turning back around, sinking into the chair and trying to focus on the movie despite the grimace-shaped man behind you.

"Stupid bitch," He mumbled. 

Kyle's entire demeanour changed in an instant. He turned around, his face red with anger. "What did you just say?" His body tense, muscles visibly tightened.

"Leave them alone," Another man from the row above says "They're just kids."

"Y'know what man? I'd be pissed off if I looked like that too," You seethe, eyes narrowing at the guy behind you. 

"Whore," He said in a mocking tone, a proud smile on his face as he did so.

Before Kyle could react, you reached forward to grab the drink sitting in his cupholder and hurled it at the man. The liquid splashed all over him, drenching his face and clothes. The theatre erupted in gasps and murmurs as the man sat there, stunned and dripping. Not one person was still paying attention to the movie.

"What the hell?" the man yelled, wiping his face with his sleeve. His shock quickly turned to rage, and he lunged forward, raising his hand to hit you.

Kyle was quick to grab his wrist, holding his arm midair before it could land on you. Other moviegoers scrambled out of their seats, some trying to pull the man away while others called for security. You could see the fear consume the man's face as Kyle held tightly.

Within moments, the usher returned with a security guard, their faces stern and ready to intervene. You hadn't seen them come in when you bent over the back of the chair, one hand pointed at the man accusatorily while you screamed at him. "Yeah, try to hit me, biggie!" 

The security rushed over to you, trying to put space between you and the man. When you refused to cease, he grabbed the back of your shirt to pull you away, his free hand was held out in front of Kyle, he balanced on one foot while his other was in the air in front of the man. 

"Stop," He said, trying not to lose his balance "Out, now, all of you, out!" 

A manager rushes into the scene, a blue button down and a name tag that reads Hailey. The large man lands a solid slap across your face and you retaliate by throwing a right hook. "No, no!" Hailey shouts, frantically trying to keep you all apart while the man grips your hair and pulls it with what little force he can muster, you grab hold of his wispy neck beard, pulling it until hair rips out. "Stop!" 

Tensions only continue to escalate rapidly. After the man tries to wrap his hands around your neck Kyle hits him, this time everyone freezes as the sound of Kyle's fist connecting with the man's cheekbone sounds through the theatre.

The security guard comes up behind you, grabbing you by your waist and pulling you off the chair. He continues to drag you out while you yell "You smell like a yeast infection, wash your damn rolls!" 

Kyle looks at the man and then at you, following you out of the theatre and into the lobby. The manager comes out with the man walking behind her, shamefully, he drips Diet Coke onto the floor. "Stand against the wall," Hailey says and you oblige like you're getting your mug shot taken.

She snaps a picture of each one of your faces "Banned," She says "For life!" 

"For life?" The man asks, his voice rising.

"Yes!" Hailey says, gesturing to the wall behind the concession where there were several pictures of people taped up for everyone to see, above each of their profiles was a piece of printer paper, the words 'banned 4 eva' written in red Sharpie "Or do you want me to call the police?"

"No, I'm cool with being banned," You answer first "Not sure I can speak with Jabba the Hutt though." 

Kyle's eyes never left the man's as he reluctantly stepped back, his chest still heaving with anger. "Let's go," he said, turning to you and grabbing your hand.

As Kyle trudges to the exit and you follow behind, hand in hand, you stick a middle finger up behind you as you push through the doors and into the daylight. "What a fucking asshole," His jaw was tightly clenched, the muscles visibly twitching with the effort to contain his anger.

.˙꩜°˖:*࿔ ☼ ࿔*:˖°꩜˙.

July 19

Tolkien sets up his phone on a nearby table, adjusting angles and checking lighting, while Kyle starts brainstorming ideas. You and Red find yourselves sitting by the sparkling blue waters of Tolkien's pool, feet dangling in while you watch the pair.

"What about this one?" Kyle asks, playing an audio. 

Tolkien bites his lip for a moment, deep in thought before he shakes his head "Nah, trends over."

You and Red exchange amused glances, she huffs on a blue raspberry ice vape, occasionally giving you a hit. Her hair is tied up into a ponytail, an old Mötley Crüe shirt thrown over her blue bikini. 

"Let's do this one," Kyle huddles next to Tolkien showing him a video on his phone. The audio replays several times before the two of them begin to practice, going through the motions in little segments to remember until they have it down. 

Tolkien takes the lead, attempting to mimic the choreography he just watched, his movements almost too precise. He kicks off with a series of dramatic arm waves and hip sways, trying to sync his steps with the beat of the short song. 

You lean onto Red, burying your head into her collarbone while you laugh. "That's it, boys, you've made it to the big leagues," She calls out between giggles.  

"Can we get less input from the fog machine over there?"  Tolkien turns around before walking back to his phone and restarting the video. You lift yourself off Red to watch Tolkien start from the beginning; he moves almost exactly the way he did before like it was a formula.

Tolkien dances his part and then Kyle comes into the frame and they begin a synchronized dance routine, exaggerated and goofy, their attempts at coordination often ending in laughter and playful nudges.

It was nice being friends with Kyle even though it was difficult for you to admit. You liked being able to hang out in a group with him and not trying to murder each other even though the thought still passed through your head on occasion. Both of you promised that you wouldn't tell a soul about the movie theatre fiasco and would swear up and down that your pictures weren't posted up next to crackheads. 

When Kyle starts doing his bit of the dance you can't hold back your cackling, clutching your stomach while you brace yourself on Red who herself is shaking from laughter. The boys ignore you but you keep laughing to the point you need to stand up and walk over to the side of Tolkien's house to brace yourself against the wall. 

Tolkien finally manages to nail a sequence, and Kyle lets out a triumphant cheer, their joy infectious despite the cringe you and Red felt watching them film TikTok's, they seemed unbothered. "You won't be laughing when I get famous," Tolkien says to you, Kyle's standing next to him watching the video they just finished filming.

"I'm sure it'll be super unfunny then," You say in a mocking tone.

"Yeah, whatever, nice lungs," He says, briefly looking up from his phone.

"Woah, woah, woah," you put a hand out "Where did all of this hostility come from?"

"Where do you think?"

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry," You get the last of your giggles out, straightening up. "Tolkien, show me how to do one of those dances," you suggested with a playful grin.

"Seriously?" Both Kyle and Tolkien say in unison. 

"Yeah," You walk over, biting your lip to stop yourself from laughing "Show me."

"Uh, okay," Tolkien says, his expression softening "Which one do you want to do?" 

"I dunno," You answer, leaning over his shoulder while he scrolls through his saved folder. 

 He began to break down the steps of a popular dance trend, his movements fluid and precise. His enthusiasm was infectious, and soon you found yourself mimicking his steps, albeit with a hint of hesitation. "Okay, so it's like this," Tolkien explained patiently, demonstrating the footwork and hand gestures slowly. "And then you add a little spin here..."

Kyle leaned casually against the poolside, a faint smile playing on his lips as he watched you. The way you focused intently on learning the steps but couldn't move without laughing- it all captivated his attention. He admired your willingness to throw yourself into the dance, your laughter mingling with Tolkien's as you both enjoyed the moment.

"You look so ridiculous right now," Red said, holding her phone up to film you and Tolkien while you danced 

"It's kinda fun!" You admit, eyes on Tolkien while you mirror his motions. 

"I told you!" Tolkien says, a bright smile on his face. You followed along, stumbling at first but gradually finding your rhythm. Tolkien's encouragement spurred you on, his gentle corrections and cheerful demeanour made the learning process enjoyable.

You were beginning to think you might've been too critical over Kyle's constant filming of TikToks, while you didn't understand how someone could make a career off it you could confess that you were enjoying yourself despite feeling more than stupid. 

"We should film one and I'll post it," He props his phone up on a lawn chair, setting up the timer.

"What?" You ask but the timers already nearing it's end and Tolkien is in his place. The music started, and you launched into the routine. He was by far more comfortable than you but you still tried your best. 

Your arms swung out to the side in unison, followed by a sharp clap above your head. The song itself was sped up and incredibly annoying, you had a feeling it would be stuck in your head in the following days and you would regret playing it on a loop while you did the choreography. You glanced over at Kyle, catching his eye with a smile.

 Just as the music reached a crescendo, Tolkien swept you off your feet, spinning you around in a dramatic flourish. Your laughter echoed across the poolside, an elated sound that filled the air as Tolkien's unexpected move took you by surprise.

The spin was exhilarating, and your laughter bubbled up uncontrollably, your legs kicking playfully in the air as you struggled to regain your balance. Tolkien caught up in the moment and the infectious joy of the scene, couldn't contain his laughter either. As he tried to set you down gently, the combination of laughter and the slick poolside caused both of you to lose footing.

While Tolkien sprawled out on the ground, you tumbled backwards into the deep end of the pool. Red was laughing even harder, the camera still trained on you, she wasn't sure if your cartoonishly dramatic fall was funnier or Tolkien's face plant.

"Are you okay?" Kyle asked, unable to bite back the smile on his face as you resurfaced. You pushed your hair away from your face and wiped chlorine water from your eyes. 

"Yeah," You laugh wading over to the edge of the pool where Kyle was standing. "Help me up," You held your hand out.

"You're gonna pull me in," he says, inching backwards just the slightest. 

 "No, I won't," You said like his accusation was incredulous "I swear," You outstretch your hand even further. 

"I don't trust you."

"Why not?" You smiled, feeling a flutter of warmth in your chest at his attention. "Just be cool," you replied, reaching out to grasp his hand.

At last, he gave in and as his fingers wrapped around yours, a jolt of electricity seemed to pass between you. The warmth of his hand was a stark contrast to the cool water, grounding you in the moment. Kyle's grip was firm and steady as he carefully pulled you up, his strength evident as he helped you find your footing.

The air grew thick with unspoken tension. Water droplets glistened on your skin, catching the last rays of sunlight, and Kyle's gaze softened as he took in the sight of you. The playful banter from earlier seemed to fade, replaced by a deeper, more intense awareness of each other.

As you stepped out of the pool, you stumbled slightly, your wet feet slipping on the smooth surface. Kyle reacted instantly, his arm wrapping around your waist to steady you. The closeness sent a shiver through you, your heart racing as you looked up into his eyes, which were now only inches away.

"Are you good?" Kyle asked, his voice low and filled with a mix of concern and something more, something that made your pulse quicken.

You nodded, unable to find your voice for a moment. The way he held you, his touch gentle, made it hard to focus on anything else. "Yup, fine," you pry yourself away from him. 

Neither of you moved immediately, the moment stretching out as the world around you seemed to blur. Kyle's eyes flickered to your lips for a brief second before meeting your gaze again, his expression hesitant.

The moment was broken by the distant sound of Tolkien and Red's laughter as they rewatched the video, reminding you both of where you were. Kyle takes a step back "I can't believe you actually didn't pull me in."

"Yeah, I would never do something like that," You say, casually walking past Kyle and shoving him into the pool as you do so. 

.˙꩜°˖:*࿔ ☼ ࿔*:˖°꩜˙.

July 25

The sun had long set, leaving the kitchen bathed in the warm, soft glow of overhead lights. Your family and Kyle's had come together for a shared meal, full of far too much wine consumption and brain-rotten jokes made by your little brothers. 

As the adults moved to the living room for more conversation and the younger kids dashed outside to play, you and Kyle volunteered to handle the dishes. You both stepped into the kitchen, where the soft light illuminated the scene of culinary aftermath: plates smeared with the last bits of sauce, glasses smudged with fingerprints and lipstick, and serving dishes still holding crumbs of the evening's feast. Even a disgusting concoction your brother had made, water mixed with white wine, rootbeer, ketchup, and relish. He had dared Ike to drink it and then drank it himself when Ike chickened out.

Kyle rolled up his sleeves with a mock-serious expression. "Good god," He mutters at the sheer amount of dishes. 

"Get to work, ginger." 

The sound of running water and the clinking of dishes filled the space, creating a rhythm as you and Kyle fell into an easy routine. He washed, you dried, and the banter flowed as naturally as the water from the faucet.

"So, how does this thing work again?" Kyle asked, holding up a sponge as if it were a foreign object.

"Just like that," you replied, mimicking his exaggerated movements with the dishtowel. "It's a highly specialized technique, you see."

Kyle chuckled, passing you a clean plate to dry. "Ah, I see. Years of training."

As you dried the dishes, you couldn't help but notice the way his muscles flexed beneath his rolled-up sleeves, his hands moving efficiently through the soapy water. There was something undeniably attractive about the way he approached even a mundane task like washing dishes.

You thought back to those massive sleepovers where all of your friends would pile into one bedroom and talk about everyone and everything. How they gushed about how cute Kyle was and you always went quiet, wrinkling your nose like the name alone was poison. 

"Achoo," Kyle feigned a sneeze, taking water from his hands and flicking it onto you. He kept his eyes down on the sink like he hadn't done anything. You retaliated by whipping the wet dish towel at Kyle a little harder than intended, there was an audible snap when you hit him and your eyes widened. "Jeez, are you trying to take me out?"

"Obviously," You deadpan "That's been the plan for the last seventeen years."

The dishes didn't seem to let up, pan after pan, utensils piling higher than mountains. While your brothers played video games and your parents laughed obnoxiously in the living room, you were still stuck on dishes until your fingers wrinkled to prunes. 

The entire time Kyle kept skittishly glancing at you and then glancing away while you pretended not to notice. He didn't know when was the right time to ask you or if you'd even want to hear him out. 

Kyle leaned casually against the counter, a hint of nervousness in his eyes. He cleared his throat, drawing your attention from the last few utensils you were drying. "Hey, I've got something for you," he said, his voice holding a note of anticipation.

You raised an eyebrow, curiosity piqued. "Oh? What is it?" You wiped your hands on a cloth to dry them before settling them on your hips. 

Kyle reaches into the back pocket of his jeans and pulls out an envelope, holding it out towards you. You took it, your fingers brushing against his, sending a small thrill through you. Carefully, you opened the envelope, revealing two concert tickets inside. Your heart skipped a beat as you read 'Suburban Wasteland' printed at the top above the seating and date information "I don't know if you still want to go with me. I was kinda a dick about it so you can give the other ticket to Bebe or something and I won't-

Without thinking, you let out a joyful scream and began jumping up and down, the sheer exhilaration bubbling over. Face lighting up as you looked down at the tickets, re-reading them over and over again. "Oh my fucking god!" 

He wasn't sure he had ever seen you so happy, not even when your soccer team placed first in regionals or when your parents took you on vacation. Despite his own indifference towards the band, seeing you so elated made it all worth it for him."You like it?"

"Yes!" You jumped around in a little circle, hands holding the tickets shaking as you looked back up at him "I thought you didn't want to go?"

"I listened to their stuff and I changed my mind," He said nonchalantly. That was only half true. He felt bad watching you go through the month, trying to find someone who would go with you and being turned down every single time. 

"Eeeek!" You shout again, jaw almost sore from the uncontrollable smile. Kyle thought that in seconds you would be bouncing off the walls. In a very impulsive moment for you, you throw your arms around him in a spontaneous hug. It's the first time you've ever hugged Kyle, and the warmth of your body against yours sends a shiver down his spine. 

His frame is taller and more solid than you expected, and you find yourself nestled against his collarbone, feeling the steady rise and fall of his chest against you.

For a split second, neither of you move. His arms hesitate before tentatively wrapping around your back, his hands lightly resting on your waist. You can sense his surprise, his body slightly tensed with uncertainty, yet there's a warmth in the way he holds you. Your own hands, holding the tickets, press against his shoulders, and you feel the firmness of his muscles beneath his shirt. 

"Stop fighting!" Your mom rushes into the kitchen at the sound of your shrieking, panic across her face which quickly turns into confusion as she sees you clinging to Kyle. 

You break away from him, clearing your throat awkwardly as you stare at your mom, trying to still yourself. You quickly gather yourself, smoothing down your clothes and clutching the concert tickets a little tighter. "Can I pay you to pretend that never happened?"

A/N: So excited for the next chapter 😽

[vampirepersay]

Guardian angel: platonic mysterion and Karen McCormick x teenage sibling reader: WC 797

CW canonical child neglect

You woke up after hearing a strange noise. It sounded like someone trying to break in. After the initial shock had set in you realized that noise had come from your younger sister's room. You were not going to let this creep anywhere near your sister, so you jolted to Karen's room. When you opened the door to her room.

The sight you walked into was not at all what you expected. You saw Karen being comforted by a kid who looked to be around the same age as your brother Kenny, wearing a superhero costume. The two seemed to not notice when you walked in until Karen looked up and greeted you

"Hi (name)"

She said with a toothy grin.

"Don't hi (name) me, who the fuck is this'?. You said while pointing at the boy in the superhero costume.

"he's my Guardian Angel".

Replied Karen.

Then it hit you Karen had told you about her guardian angel several times before, and you knew all about how he always managed to show up just when she needed him the most but you just assumed her guardian angel was some sort of imaginary friend.

But no he was very much real, and he was standing right in front of you.

"Whatever this guardian angel is here for I'm sure he wouldn't mind telling me," You said.

Karen was caught off guard by your words and you could tell, instead of an actual answer She became a stuttering mess trying to come up with some answer to satisfy your question, before

Her so-called guardian angel whispered something in her ear that made her smile at him before leaving her room.

This left you alone with the so-called guardian angel who finally broke his silence.

"Look I understand why you would be worried about a stranger in your sister's room but I'm just here to help her". The boy said with a Gravelly voice it sounded as if he was trying to make himself sound tougher than actually was.

"Help her, You're some stranger that broke into our house at two in the morning. For all I know you could be a very young robber or something". you said trying to think of something

The guardian angel laughed to himself before replying

"If I wanted to rob someone, why would I pick the poorest family in South Park"? he said with a sly grin on his face

"You know what? That's a good point, but that still doesn't answer my question". You replied

"I'm telling the truth, I'm here to help her!" The boy said he was starting to sound annoyed.

"Look you've got to understand where I'm coming from, you're some stranger who broke in, and for what to comfort Karen?". You said while trying your best to keep your voice quiet.

"Stop making it sound weird I'm just giving her the attention that your family Doesn't”. Replied the guardian angel.

hearing this set something off in your mind you knew your parents neglected you and your siblings but was it really that obvious?

“Look, I can't help that our parents are horrible people but do you really think I'm not trying”?

“I know you're trying and I'm sure your siblings know that too but Karen is sensitive. She needs extra help, and I'm here to give her it”.

Replied the guardian angel.

“Look kid I know nothing about you and that's the sweetest thing anyone has ever said about anyone from this family, but that doesn't mean you can just break in shouldn't you be sleeping it's like what three in the morning”.

“Actually it's four in the morning”. Replied the guardian angel snarkily.

“Whatever time it is I'm sure it's well past your bedtime,” you said with spite.

“Superheroes don't have bedtimes” replied the guardian angel.

“You're a superhero now, that's a cute kid,” you said while holding back laughter

“I've always been one but if you're just going to laugh I'm just going to talk to Karen and then leave”. Relipled the guardian angel.

“Well maybe I want that”, it's a school night, and I'm pretty sure superheroes still have to go to school”. You said.

“has anyone ever told you you're an asshole before”. Replied the guardian angel”

“yeah my brother kenny all the time you're not original” you replied before leaving the room.

After that, you almost forget Karen standing in the hallway waiting for you to let her back in her room.

“You can say bye to your guardian angel but that's it, Karen after that I want you in bed and him out of this house”.

“That's fine goodnight (name)”. Karen replied

“It's morning but goodnight Karen”.

You replied Before returning to the living room to go back to sleep.

[d1xonss]

Desert Rose

Chapter 60 ~ Just Married

✧ Pairing : Daryl Dixon x Rose

✧ Era : Season 5

✧ Word Count : 5.6k

In this chapter ~ After having a heart to heart with Carol on their search for water, Rose returns to find a surprise waiting for her back at the church. The night was filled with laughs and peacefulness, one they hadn’t experienced in quite some time.

During the time Carol and I were wandering through the forest, we had successfully managed to fill four jugs of water by a creek nearby, the very one Gabriel had mentioned earlier. We talked about random things along the way, but most of the time the space between us was filled with comfortable silence. I didn't really know what to say to her after the whole Tyreese incident, and honestly, I didn't even know if she was aware I knew everything about it. There was a certain awkwardness in the group because of the events, but if Ty forgave her, so could the rest of us.

"Hey," I said to get her attention, "I...I know what happened with Tyreese and the whole um...Karen situation."

She didn't utter a word as her eyes fell to the ground in front of us, clearly still feeling some kind of guilt for the things she did.

"Look, I'm not blaming you, and we don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. But I just wanted you to know that...I understand what you were trying to do. And I think telling Tyreese about it when you were with him was the right thing to do, even if you didn't know how he would react. You acknowledged that he had a right to know the truth."

She looked back up at me, slowly nodding in appreciation, "I just...I wanted to stop it before it got worse. I tried to do the right thing, but I just ended up hurting so many other people instead. You and Rick took a beating because of it, and so many people got sick-"

"That's not on you," I shook my head, "You tried to save everyone...that's what matters. And by the looks of it, you did save all of their asses back at Terminus. You did good."

A slow smile was brought to her face as she clearly appreciated my words, "Thank you." she whispered as we kept walking side by side, "You know, you always were my favorite."

I scoffed, "Yeah, right."

"Wow," she spoke, "Couples do start to sound alike after a while."

I looked to her with wide, fearful eyes, "Oh God, I'm turning into him." I muttered as I ran a stressful hand through my hair.

She laughed lightly, "Well, in all seriousness, you're very special to me. I appreciate you being so...understanding."

"Of course." I said sincerely, "Just keeping it real." I winked.

We continued to make a loop around the area to head back toward the church, until we saw what looked to be an abandoned car parked on the side of the road just on the outskirts of the trees. Carol suggested we should check it out just in case, causing me to follow her lead to see if there was anything worth bringing back. I silently prayed that maybe this car would run and we could try and go further into town at some point, but it was probably a long shot.

I watched from a distance as she found the keys somewhere in the front of the vehicle, turning them in the ignition as the engine sputtered a few times before it roared to life. A surprised smile was brought to my face, watching as she peeked her head out from the driver's seat to give me a thumbs up before she shut it back off again.

"We can use this in case things go south at the church." she nodded, making her way back towards the trunk to unlock it.

"You don't trust him either?" I asked.

She shook her head, "With the way he was acting, makes me think he has something to hide. Hopefully we won't have to stay there for long."

I nodded my head in silent agreement as she lifted one of the jugs of water, placing it inside the trunk for safe keeping. We had enough already, and if we were thinking similarly, we should take the precaution just in case to have something other than a running car in our favor.

"We can always come back and get this if we run out." she spoke my thoughts out loud, locking the trunk once more before tossing me the keys.

I caught them easily as I stuffed them into my jean pocket, picking up the remaining jugs we had left before heading off back towards the church. My eyes glanced up ahead of me to see that the sun was slowly beginning to set, picking up my pace the smallest bit so we wouldn't be wandering around here in the dark. It gave me a bad feeling that the two of us were out here alone to begin with, only giving me more of an excuse to get back.

"Hey, wait!" Carol suddenly called out from behind me.

I turned my head to look over my shoulder, noticing that she was way farther back than I originally assumed. I thought she was keeping up beside me the entire time I was moving, but instead she still stood firmly in place next to the parked car.

"I think if we go around, it'll be faster." she said with a gesture of her hand.

My eyes followed to where she was pointing, looking to see we would only be walking further away and my brows pulled together in confusion, "That way will take longer, trust me. Let's just go back the way we came." I suggested as I nodded in front of me.

She struggled a little to come up with an excuse to take the way that she had suggested, but in the end, she didn't have one good enough to convince me. I didn't understand why she wanted to take the long way when it was going to be dark soon anyways, the paranoia of what could be lurking in the night getting the better of me. But I shrugged it off as we continued to make our way back through the woods.

However, I didn't fail to notice how she had to stop and look at random things, or say she forgot something back on the road, or wanting to learn how to track all of a sudden. Coming up with every single excuse in the book to get me to slow down as if I was walking too fast, yet she always seemed to match my pace. I silently knew she was trying to delay us from getting back to the others, but I just didn't understand why.

Eventually when she stopped to look at a random tree for the fortieth time, I got a little fed up.

"Hey, Carol." I called, turning to look at her, "Don't take this the wrong way or anything, but what the hell is wrong with you?"

She looked a little taken aback, "What do you mean?"

"I mean I'm not stupid, I know you're stalling. Don't try and lie to me." I said, pointing a finger at her.

"Oh, I'm not trying to stall, I'm sorry. I guess I'm just a little distracted is all." she said with an innocent shrug before she kept moving.

I watched her walk away for a few seconds before mouthing, "what the fuck," to myself, stepping forward to continue to follow her. Something wasn't adding up and I just wanted to know why she was acting so weird. Maybe old age was really starting to get to her. But then again, she wasn't that much older than Daryl, she was forty-five now while Daryl was forty-two. Maybe they were both becoming batshit crazy at this point, I didn't really know.

By the time we finally made it back to the little white church, the sun was nearly almost gone for the day. I quickly moved the rest of the way up the steps, moving both jugs of water into one hand as I fumbled with the door, before hearing Carol call out from behind me only a second later.

I tried to hide my annoyance as I turned back around slowly, walking back down the stairs to see what she could possibly need now as she lingered by the grass. She didn't say anything, but leaned down to pick a single flower that was growing right below her feet, reaching out to place it behind my ear with a smile.

"You look beautiful." she complimented.

Confusion was still prominent on my face as to why this was necessary, though I smiled a little at her sweet compliment, "Thank you."

She nodded, before gesturing me to head up first toward the double doors to head inside and join the others who were surely patiently waiting for our return. I struggled for a moment or two with how full my hands were, but once I finally got it open and moved inside, my mouth immediately dropped as I paused mid-step.

Almost everyone was sat in the pews, lined up one by one with their backs all facing me, though turning around slightly once they heard the loud creak of the door pulling open. My eyes scanned around frantically as I tried to figure out what the hell was going on, until I spotted Gabriel and Daryl standing tall at the far end of the church.

The small building was illuminated even more beautifully with the colors shining bright all over the walls, the sunset pouring in perfectly through the giant window. I stood frozen in place under everyone's gaze, watching as they all smiled at me knowingly, though I couldn't seem to move even if I wanted to. My mind not being able to process every little detail all at once.

I then suddenly felt Carol come around and gently take the jugs of water from my hands, before quietly scurrying to go find a place to sit next to Tyreese and Judith. The pieces had come together in my mind, perhaps since the moment I opened the door, but I still hesitated as I felt a bit awkward doing this whole "walk" thing by myself.

But right as that thought entered my mind, it quickly disappeared.

Carl came up next to me with a large smile on his face, proudly holding out his arm for me to take and I felt my heart warm at his actions. He remembered, and I hadn't forgotten either. It was almost like he was keeping his promise he made to me what felt like so long ago, following through with every word.

I quickly removed my bow and arrows from my back and tossed them aside before looping his arm through my own, slowly walking down the long path towards where Daryl stood underneath the giant window. He held my arm tightly, causing me to look towards him about halfway through, seeing him getting a bit choked up at the events.

Once the two of us made it down to the other side, I freed myself from his hold to slightly lean down and press a kiss on his forehead. Though the minute I tried to pull away, he quickly wrapped me up in a hug for just a few more seconds, before hurrying off to sit next to Rick in the front row.

My head slowly turned back towards Daryl, seeing that familiar small grin on his face as I walked up to close the remaining distance, standing face to face with him now on the large steps.

"What are you doing?" I asked in a hushed tone.

He shrugged, "Ya said ya always wanted to get married in a place like this...so let's get married in this place."

I felt my heart flutter as I shook my head in slight disbelief, "Are you sure? You hate getting up in front of people like this."

"I know," he nodded, "But I'd do just about anythin for ya, and this ain't any different." he muttered, absentmindedly grabbing one of my hands in his own.

My expression softened, "...Are you sure?" I asked once more.

He playfully rolled his eyes at me, "Come on, let's get married woman."

"Oh, I love it when you sweet talk me." I said loud enough for everyone else to hear, earning a few chuckles that echoed around the larger room, "Let's get married." I repeated.

He smiled warmly, turning the two of us towards Gabriel as we stood together hand in hand. The ceremony wasn't anything too fancy, though I could tell Daryl was a little anxious to be practically up on display for everyone, but it couldn't have been sweeter to watch him do something like this just to make me happy. If I'm being honest, I didn't really like being the center of attention either, but getting married in front of the people I loved the most, I'd clearly do in a heartbeat.

I always assumed I would never get that however, simply because of how few people I had in my life at the time that actually cared about me; maybe just a few friends. But now that I had a real family that loved me unconditionally, I couldn't pass off the opportunity. I didn't know if we would get another one like this again.

The two of us didn't say any vows to each other, mainly because of the people watching us so intently, but we didn't really need to say a bunch of mushy things to know that we loved each other. We simply said our "I do's" and Gabriel pronounced us husband and wife. Officially this time. The kiss was short and sweet, but everyone cheered and whistled loudly, causing my emotions to run high seeing how happy they all were for us.

It was a beautiful moment that I would surely remember for the rest of my life, not knowing if Daryl truly knew just how happy he made me by planning this. I studied everything around me to engrave it in my memory forever, fearful that I would forget any small detail. This alone just reminded me how lucky I am. Sure, the world might be falling apart right in front of us, but I found that none of that mattered as long as I had them.

Darkness had fallen by the time we all began to settle down for the night, situating ourselves in the front of the church as we all sat down together to share our first proper meal in weeks. For the first time in a long time, laughter and loud chatter came from all over the space as we enjoyed each other's company. Candles that were scattered around the room, lit the place up perfectly, illuminating everyone's faces in the dark.

I was leaning against Daryl, talking to Maggie and Glenn from right across from us while Rick, Carl, and Judith were sitting close by as well, tuning into the conversation. Currently Glenn was in the midst of telling a story about the first time he and I ever went on a run together and how much of a disaster it turned out to be.

Not only was there almost nothing worth taking in the store we came across, but the floor was covered in some kind of sticky substance that neither one of us wanted to know what it was. We kept falling all over each other and laughing hysterically the whole time until literal tears were running down our faces and our stomachs were sore. I swear Glenn has told this story about a thousand times, but Rick and Daryl had somehow never heard it before, so he saw his opportunity and took it.

"Eventually we were making so much noise we drew some walkers into the store, but we couldn't kill them because they just started sliding around too. I swear we couldn't stop laughing and eventually had to leave them there to make a break for it." Glenn finished.

I put a hand up to my face, "Oh my God, yeah that's right." I mumbled as the images came flooding back, "That's probably one of my favorite memories with you." I smiled.

He then got a shit eating grin on his face as he raised his eyebrows, "Speaking of memories..." he trailed off, reaching into his bag right next to him and pulled out his polaroid camera.

As if on cue we all groaned at the sight, laughing again instantly as we all had the exact same reaction to the object in his hands. "What? Oh, come on guys, when do we ever get to capture memories like this? Tonight is a good night to do it." he pleaded.

"I can't even believe you still have that." I commented.

"It was just one of the things I grabbed from the prison." he shrugged, "Okay, come on newlyweds, scoot closer and let me get a picture." he said, raising the camera to his face.

"No." Daryl said immediately.

Glenn frowned at that, leaving me laughing about how blunt he was, "It's just one picture," I whispered close to him, "It'll get him to shut up."

He rolled his eyes, letting out a loud huff of a sigh, "Fine."

Glenn's eyes sparkled at the opportunity, quickly raising the camera back up to his face with his finger hovering over the button. I clearly didn't have much time to think of a pose, simply leaning over to kiss Daryl's cheek just before the flash went off.

The film came out quickly right into Glenn's grasp, watching as he shook it a few times to get it to develop before reaching over to hand it to me. I watched intently as the image slowly came to life, instantly loving what I saw. Daryl was smiling ever so softly while my lips brushed the apple of his cheek, his arm wrapped around my shoulders while our legs were tangled together. It was perfect.

"Thank you, Glenn." I said as I looked up from the photo.

"See what happens when you just listen to me? You get something good out of it." he said proudly.

I rolled my eyes and laughed, "Don't push it."

We all chuckled as I moved to place the photo in my back pocket, though seeing Daryl open his mouth to protest, "Nope, nuh uh, you already have a picture, let me have this one." I said, raising my hand up to stop him from saying anything.

"Alright fine." he said reluctantly.

I smiled in victory, my attention being pulled away from him momentarily as we all heard someone clinking their glass, Abraham rising to his feet, "I'd like to propose a toast." he said proudly.

Our heads all turned in his direction, waiting to have all of our eyes on him before he continued, "I look around this room, and I see survivors. Each and every one of you has earned that title. To the survivors." he held up his cup.

"To the survivors." we all chanted, clinking our glasses together.

"Is that all you want to be?" he continued, "Wake up in the morning, fight the undead pricks, forage for food, go to sleep at night with two eyes open, rinse and repeat? Cause you can do that. I mean you got the strength. You got the skill. Thing is, for you people, for what you can do, that's just surrender. Now, we get Eugene to Washington, and he will make the dead die and the living will have this world again...and that is not a bad takeaway for a little field trip."

Abraham's eyes found mine in the midst of the others when he said the last part of his speech and I slowly nodded at him, telling him that what he said was very true. But that still didn't mean I believed Eugene for one second. A part of me just wanted to watch Abraham lose his mind when he found out the truth, because I could easily see that unfolding when the time finally came.

"Eugene, what's in DC?" Abraham asked.

Eugene cleared his throat deeply, "Infrastructure constructed to withstand pandemics even of this fubar magnitude. That means food, fuel, refuge. Restart."

"However this plays out, however long it takes for the reset button to kick in, you can be safe there." Abraham stated, "Safer than you've been since this whole thing started. Come with us. Save the world for that little one," he pointed to Judith, "Save it for yourselves. Save it for the people out there who don't got nothing left to do except survive."

A brief moment of silence passed before Judith suddenly began to babble softly in Rick's arms with her hands tangled a little in his beard, "What was that?" he asked, leaning in as if she was saying something to him, causing a few people to laugh quietly. "Well, I think she knows what I'm about to say. She's in. If she's in, I'm in...we're in." he announced.

Everyone started to cheer at the news, while I just mustered the smallest of smiles as I looked around to the small group. This would just be a waste of time, I knew that, but I wasn't about to leave my family again for anything. So, I guess that meant I was in for it too.

Daryl then nudged me slightly, waiting for me to glance up at him before he gave me a silent look; he didn't believe it either. I nodded my head without saying a word, confirming that we were on the exact same page, before he leaned over to place a small kiss on the side of my head. Reassuring me that everything would be okay.

"Also, one more thing before I sit my ass down and shut up," Abraham said, hearing everyone laugh lightly in response, "I just want to take a moment to congratulate the newlyweds. You both looked about ready to shit yourselves up there in front of all of us, but you two look really happy together. I haven't seen that kind of love in a long time. To Rose and Daryl!"

"To Rose and Daryl!" everyone repeated.

I felt my face get hot as I placed my hands on either of my cheeks, smiling to everyone in appreciation as they continued to cheer for us. My eyes panned over to Abraham who held his glass out to me, and I mouthed "thank you," from across the swarm of people in between us. He smiled, giving me a small wink before he sat back down to talk quietly with Eugene and Rosita.

Daryl looked back over at me, about ready to die from slight embarrassment as I laughed at the wide-eyed look he had on his face. I leaned over to kiss his cheek lightly, as everyone seemed to go back to their own conversations, Maggie now beginning to tell us a story from her childhood. Though all I could focus on was how happy she looked thinking about old memories.

Everyone looked so peaceful for once, but I didn't want to think about it too much in fear I would somehow jinx it. So, instead I just sat there quietly, living in the moment.

Though once it got a little later in the night and everyone started to grow a bit tired, I looked over and noticed we were running low on water, only having one remaining jug left that was already half empty. I thought that since Gabriel hadn't tried to murder us yet, I could head out to the car that Carol and I found to get the other carton we left behind, wanting to make sure we had enough.

My eyes scanned around the room for Daryl, wanting to let him know that I was going out, but when I spotted him he seemed to be having a deep conversation with Rick. So, I just let them be, knowing that I would be back in a few minutes anyway. Making my way to the door, I grabbed my bow and arrows and made sure the handgun I still had with me had enough ammo. Carol however seemed to spot me before I left, briefly telling her where I was going in case anyone else noticed my missing presence.

Walking out and about at night was scary before the world went to hell, but now that there's dead people wandering around trying to eat you it's even more so. I took a little shortcut through the woods so I could possibly avoid the walkers that were in the area, but of course I had to take a few out along the way. Though it was nothing I couldn't handle.

Eventually as the minutes passed, I could finally start to see the car coming into view from the few trees that still stood tall in my vison, a small, relieved smile appearing on my face. That is until a branch suddenly snapped quietly from a few feet behind me. I didn't hesitate. My knife was in my hand in a split second, whipping around to face the darkness, prepared to see some kind of threat. But I was met with nothing.

My breathing grew heavier, though I tried to keep quiet, squinting to try and see through the shadows but there was no other noise to be heard. My heart began to pound loudly in my chest, regret filling my entire being that I came out here by myself in the first place. I thought I would be able to handle it, but the flashbacks that played behind the lids of my eyes was the only proof I needed that I couldn't.

Without another thought, I made a beeline over towards the car, my hands shaking slightly as I took out the keys to unlock the trunk as fast as I could. Realistically I could just hop in the vehicle if I really needed to, having a plan laid out in my mind in case there was truly someone out there watching me from the tree line.

My anxiety only grew worse as I could've sworn I heard the man's voice playing in the back of my mind, shivering as his laughs echoed around my ears. I closed my eyes tightly as I reached in for the jug of water, pulling it out in one fail swoop before I heard another snap. Only this time, it was closer than before.

I instantly pulled out my gun in a panic, aiming it blindly towards the woods as I waited for what I knew was lurking beyond the trees to come out and finally show themselves. My hands shook slightly as my chest suddenly felt tight, at this point trying to decipher if it was just all in my head. It was an agonizing silence, seconds passing by like hours before the figure finally made itself known as they stepped onto the street.

But my eyes were only met with Daryl, watching him walk out with slightly raised hands, "Just me." he said softly.

Swallowing the lump in my throat, I placed my weapon back behind me as I exhaled sharply, "Jesus, you scared the shit out of me. Was that noise you the whole time?"

His expression grew apologetic, "Probably," he muttered as he began to walk closer to me, "M' sorry, didn't mean ta scare ya. But why the hell are ya comin all the way out here for?"

I sighed as I gestured down to the jug, "Carol and I left one of the waters behind in case things went bad at the church. But seeing as we're almost out now, I figured I'd bring it back." I explained.

He nodded his head in response as I turned away slightly to shut the trunk once more with a slam. My hands lingered on the car for a little longer than usual as I shut my eyes briefly, trying to shake myself from the haunting thoughts. I was just being paranoid, that's all this was. And now I wasn't alone, I was safe with him, knowing he would rather die than let anything like that happen to me again.

I breathed once more to clear my mind completely, before I turned to see he had made his way closer, now standing face to face with me as I tilted my head at him. He silently took my hand in his own, a confused look crossing my face as I watched, "Whatcha doing?" I asked.

He scanned my face quietly for a moment before shrugging his shoulders, "Just admiring."

A slow smile was brought to my face, leaning up to peck his lips a few times until he let out a deep, vibrating chuckle that practically echoed around the open air. I would never get over that sound, one that made me weak in the knees.

"So...now might not be the best time," he started a bit sheepishly, "But I figured if we're gonna be alone for a few minutes...I wanna say my vows."

"You have vows?" I asked softly.

He shook his head, "Kind of. I just wanna say a few things."

I leaned in to briefly kiss him once more, before nodding my head for him to continue.

He cleared his throat, "Rosie...never in my life have I loved anyone as much as I love ya. You're the most beautiful, sweet...and most stubborn woman I've ever met...you're perfect. Hell, half the time I feel like I don't deserve ya because of how perfect you are, but I do my best to be worthy of ya every single day. I couldn't have asked for a better person to, you know...share the rest of my life with...grow old with. Ya make me really damn happy...and I love ya more than life itself."

By the time he was completely done talking, there were a few tears built up in my eyes at the sweet man in front of me. He always found another way to make me feel like the luckiest girl in the whole damn world, and though he claims he's not very good with words, he never fails to make me melt every time. He gently wiped any tears that escaped from my eyes and leaned down to kiss my lips softly. I felt myself lean more and more into him as I kissed him back, craving him so desperately, but then I pulled away before I lost what I wanted to say.

"My turn." I spoke.

He smiled widely and waited for me to continue, "You are the light of my life. I never thought that I would find a man who is half as amazing as you are, but I guess that's the one thing I lucked out on. You've shown me what love really is. I can't tell you how excited I am to spend the rest of my days with you, because you've done nothing but make me smile and laugh like I haven't done in years. I love you to the moon and back...and maybe even a little more than that."

His smile never faded. It never faltered. He kept his eyes on me the whole time, taking in my words as if it was as important as air, soaking in every last syllable. He looked at me so genuinely, so lovingly. We always knew just how important we were to each other, but hearing meaningful vows fall from each other's lips, made it even better if that were possible.

Once I was done talking, he didn't hesitate to bring me in again and kiss me a little more passionately than the last. Like my words had a greater effect on him than his own. I brought myself impossibly closer to him as our lips danced and our tongues tangled together, my hands running down his chest soothingly. I felt him brush the hair out of the way to bring his hand and cup the back of my neck, his thumb instinctively running softly against my jawline.

Once we both desperately needed air, we managed to pull apart for a moment, resting our foreheads together, "I love ya so much." he whispered.

"I love you too." I repeated back to him, my smile never leaving my face.

"Yer officially my wife." he pointed out.

I laughed softly with a shake of my head though he did have a point, "Yeah, and you're officially my husband."

He grinned proudly, "It's crazy." he muttered before bringing me in to kiss him again.

I was quick to reciprocate the gesture, almost wanting to just stay out here with him all night, but our moment was suddenly cut short when the sound of a car approaching was growing near. Daryl didn't hesitate to break away from me, gently pulling my arm so we could crouch behind the parked car as to not be seen, watching as it quickly drove past us down the street just seconds later. Though he hopped up once they were moving out of view, trying to catch a glimpse of the vehicle.

I saw his body tense as he watched the racing car drive down the other street at an impossibly fast pace, before he whipped back around in a sudden hurry. He didn't hesitate to pick his crossbow up from where he discarded it, taking the butt of it to smash the brake lights, watching it shatter onto the concreate.

"Woah, woah, what are you doing?" I asked, panic clear in my voice.

"Those people," he pointed, "The same sons of bitches that got Beth, we need ta go." he said urgently.

My eyes widened, but I didn't hesitate for one second to grab the jug of water and quickly jog over to the passenger side. I opened the door and hopped in right as Daryl made his way to the other side, shutting the door with a loud slam. I gave him the keys quickly as he started up the car, peeling out from off the side of the road as he took off in the direction the car was headed.

My heart thumped wildly in my chest at the thought of seeing Beth again, the thought of being able to get her back. Though I knew it wouldn't be easy, it never was. The rest of the group didn't even know where we were, hardly aware that the two of us left the building in the first place, but right now it didn't matter.

All that could possibly matter to me now was that we were going to see here again. And I didn't care what I would have to do to get her back.

~ Thanks for reading!

Taglist - @justareader95 @hayley1998 @ryoujoking @sipsthecoffee @winterassassin1804 @marsmallow433 @catlalice @writingstreetspirit @silentlysuffering98 @mystictf @remuslittlesister

[alornights]

hii! i really loved your you and i romance troupe and was wondering if you could do one for craig’s group or maybe even the main girls?

⟢ you and i pt. 2

➜ in which ! you get romance troped again!

💌 ﹫team craig & team wendy.

✩ 🎸 warnings﹗angst/hurt for some.

🍓 ⟡ notes — guess whos back. back again.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ CRAIG TUCKER opposites attract

he didnt hate you or anything he just found you so annoying.

you were loud and annoying and everything craig wanted to stray away from to make sure he isn't set off.

yet somehow he always draw to you and was always involved with you and he found that he quite enjoyed his time with you.

it was a gradual progression before his feelings were too much for him to handle by himself.

so he just asks you to date him in the most plain way possible.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ TOLKIEN BLACK fake relationship

he hated that cartman was always trying to set him up with nichole or any other person who wasn't white that came to town.

so when the two of you were talking one day and you jokingly told him how sad it was to be single he had an idea.

tolkien asked you to fake date him. for funsies of course.

you obviously agreed wanting to help your friend and get the girls off your back about not having a boyfriend.

but things started to get a little too real and now its almost like you are a #real couple. and tolkien wouldn't have it any other way.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ JIMMY VALMER oblivious to love

you had the biggest crush on him & everyone in the school knew

except him of course because well bros kind of oblivious.

literally people tell him straight up and he would think its a joke and laugh it off unless you personally go up and tell him.

its not even like hahahaha no way she could like me. he just thinks its a joke point blank and that people are fucking with him.

so when you do eventually tell him, he's shocked. but happy :)

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ CLYDE DONOVAN matchmaker gone wrong

initially he was trying to pair you with kenny.

so he became friends with you to find out what you liked, what you did on your off times, any secrets that could help kenny, etc.

but the more time that he tried helping kenny, the more time he spent with you.

and more feelings in him started arising. and he couldn't help but fall for you even though he's supposed to be helping kenny.

but you fell for kenny, and he just hoped he could fix this all.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ TWEEK TWEAK trapped in an elevator

tweek was just heading upstairs for one of his deliveries when he got stuck, with you, a person he has never seen before.

you somehow manage to calm him down. god knows how.

then the two of you start talking for like an hour about random things trying to fill the emptiness of the elevator.

you two were so distracted with one another that you didn't even notice the door behind you open and the sight of freedom.

you deffo got his number after that.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ WENDY TESTABURGER pen pals

honestly, wendy didn't know why she decided to have a pen pal. she just remembers mr. mackey telling her it could be a good idea.

so she finds a club and starts lettering to you regularly, finding that it was much more fun than she thought it would be.

she loved hearing about your day, your gossip, your hobbies. all of it, she loved everything about you.

so when you mentioned your family was going to south park to visit an old family friend, the girl was delighted.

when she saw you in person for the first time, she fell 10x harder.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ BEBE STEVENS lovers in denial

the two of you were best friends, inseparable, the iconic duo.

so when bebe starts getting nervous around you she doesn't even give it a second thought, brushing it off.

but it gets to the point where she can't even think when she's around you, yet she continues to deny her feelings.

even after you confess your love for her, she denies and denies.

she shakes it off and continues with her life, while still talking to you, there's the tension that will always remain.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ HEIDI TURNER right person, wrong time

it was right after she had finally broken it off with cartman officially, and you found her at the park alone.

you were a light in her life after that, you had never discouraged her for dating cartman especially knowing both of their situations.

you helped her through so much and were one of the main reasons she had to courage to keep being a better person.

yet she could never bring herself to be with you, to never cross the barrier of just being friends, all because of cartman.

because no matter how hard you loved her, she couldn't bring herself to trust anyone, not even herself. and certainly not you.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ NICHOLE DANIELS fish out of water

you had recently moved to south park and you came from a normal city so experiencing life here, was strange.

and nichole understood you fully well. she had also moved a while back and had trouble getting used to the town by herself.

so nichole decides to befriend you and help you have the best possible experience you can when living in south park.

she introduced you to her all her friends, told you where you should and shouldn't go, who were the trouble makers. you guys spent so much time together trying to create this new life for you that you didn't realize how inseparable the two of you became.

though she couldn't help the stammer in her heart when you smiled and laughed. she loved it all, and she made sure you knew.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ RED McARTHUR sworn off romance

there was never a point where she distinctly knew that red knew she had feelings for you, it was a rather long build.

but when she realizes her feelings it's already too late for herself and you. the damage had been done and you both were smitten.

she tried her hardest to get rid of these feelings, she really did. but the way you smiled and laughed made her heart clench.

yet, she became persistent, no matter who it was, she just couldn't bring herself to create a romance with someone.

even after you confess your feelings to her she continues to swear off love, even if her heart breaks when you walk away.

[monikashinswife]

omg omgggg i love ur monika fic and i need moreee 😭🙏🙏

Ask and you shall receive<3

(also she looks so tiny hereeeee)

"If you really love me, get me a husband next teachers day."

-this is inspired by the Street Woman Fighter 1 Gala Talk show, when one of her students brought the Teacher's Day incident. Enjoy reading<33

Everyone knows how Monika has been single for a very long time. And it has been a constant topic whenever she gets interviewed by hosts. It was almost too much, but Monika answered them enthusiastically.

The constant bringing up of her love life was also briefly brought up during the gala talk show of season 1 of Street Women Fighter. Where the powerful ladies were there to have fun. During one of the segments, everyone gets to ask the leaders a question.

One of Monika's students brought up the teacher's day incident. Which made Monika tear up because of how she felt during those times. And to make it up to her. She then told them playfully "If you really love me, get me a husband next teacher's day."

Monika didn't know that it was coming for her. After the success of Street Woman Fighter, opportunities were given left and right and they kept coming. Monika was invited to many interviews and most of them asked about her love life. And like always, Monika would talk about how she still doesn't have a boyfriend.

They kept going throughout the year and it was always a delight for Monika.

And speaking of opportunity, yours came when Kirsten. One of your close friends invited you to join her for Street Woman Fighter Season 2. Kirsten drags you to join her since you've been dancing together for a very long time. And who are you to refuse your best friend?

With that, Jam Republic Crew is formed with other members. It was destiny, you thought. To be with these very people. You were very excited about this new adventure.

And that adventure would be going back to South Korea. You immediately contacted Lip J. Telling her that you would be going back to Korea, but without telling her the reason. As it is said by the staffs.

You and Hyo Won met in a competition in New Zealand. You were attached after that. You continue to contact each other even if you're living across multiple countries from each other that doesn't stop you from being friends.

With Hyo Won's influence, you started learning her language. It's been a while since you saw each other. It was very clear when your squeals and screams could be heard throughout the area where the passing people saw two best friends hugging each other like lunatics.

"Oh my fucking God I missed you!!" You exclaimed once the hug was broken. Lip J's eyes can't be seen from how wide she's smiling.

"We literally Facetime each other almost every night!" She answered, but you both know you missed each other. You're each other's therapist.

"You know you missed me" I winked at her and she gave me a disgusted look. I gave a mock offense before I lightly slapped her arm and we burst out laughing. After that interaction, our day started. We pamper ourselves with things that we both love doing. Knowing that this is something we don't often do together.

" would you like it if I invited you to one of our dance classes?" Lip J asked casually while eating her ice cream. I look at her while also eating mine, "with PROWDMON?" I asked, she hummed and I nodded. Hyo won quickly grabbed my arm to drag me back to the parking lot.

"Hey, where are you taking me?" I whined while I followed her like a child being dragged by her mom. "To our studio" she answered casually. "Dressed like this?" I pointed to what I was wearing, she quickly scanned my tight-fitting dress before shrugging. "I'll borrow some spare clothes if that's the case. And besides, this is the first time I'm taking you to our studio. It's teachers day and I have to give this gift to Monika Unnie."

"Is it okay?" I asked carefully, making sure that I wouldn't be a bother when we got there. I understand that it's an important day and they must be doing an event to celebrate their mentor.

"Yes, but you know what's not okay?" Hyo Won suddenly sounded serious. "What?" She chuckled at my hurried response. "You, not meeting Monika even though we've been friends for so long." I stopped whatever I was doing on my phone to look at her.

"Holy shit, you're right!" I laughed loudly because of the situation. I never met her best friend and what an odd situation that is, considering we often FaceTime.

And just like that, the car ride was full of singing and talking. That was until we arrived at their studio. I can't help but feel excited. Wordlessly, Lip J passed me the gift that she was supposed to give to Monika and we went in.

"Unnie!" Shockingly we heard a loud call. We both looked around when we entered the practice room. I automatically smiled when the students hugged their unnie. "Oh, my-" I gave them a wave as a greeting and I giggled at their shocked reaction.

They all squealed when they saw you. How could they not? You are an icon when it comes to dancing. And it was a pleasant surprise as the students were also a fan of your work.

Monika, overwhelmed by the warm greeting from her students, looked pleasantly surprised to see you with Lip J in the studio. Her students, not wanting to waste any time, immediately handed her the gift they'd prepared for Teacher's Day.

Lip J, with a playful grin, nudged you forward, introducing you to Monika. "Monika Unnie, this is Y/n. She's a dear friend of mine and has joined us for today's dance class."

Monika, still in a state of disbelief, accepted the gift from her students and then turned her attention to you. "Nice to meet you, Y/n. I've heard so much about you from Lip J. Thank you for being here with us on this special day."

You exchanged pleasantries and chatted with Monika and her students. As the class began, you watched Monika in action, impressed by her teaching skills and her close bond with her students.

After the class, Monika approached you and Lip J. "Thank you both for coming today. It means a lot to me. How about we grab a meal together to celebrate Teacher's Day?"

As the sunset and the city lights began to twinkle, the atmosphere between you and Monika started to take on a more romantic hue. The restaurant you chose had an intimate ambiance, and the three of you shared a cozy corner table.

Monika's students, sensing the chemistry between the two of you, excused themselves, leaving you and Monika alone. The soft glow of the candlelight and the background music set the mood for a heartfelt conversation.

Monika, her eyes reflecting the warm light, looked at you and said, "You know, I didn't expect this Teacher's Day to turn into such a beautiful surprise. Meeting you here, spending this evening together—it's been so special."

You gazed into her eyes, feeling a strong connection, and replied, "I feel the same way, Monika. There's something truly magical about how we met today. I've heard so much about you from Hyo Won, and I can see why she admires you so much."

A faint blush tinted Monika's cheeks, and she smiled, her fingers gently tracing the rim of her wine glass. "I must admit, I've enjoyed our conversation and the time we've spent together. Y/n, I hope we can get to know each other better."

Your heart skipped a beat as you took Monika's hand across the table. "I'd love that, Monika. Maybe we could do this again sometime, just the two of us?"

Monika's eyes sparkled with excitement as she nodded. "I would like that."

The evening continued with shared stories, laughter, and a connection that seemed to grow stronger by the minute. By the time the night came to a close, you and Monika had taken the first step towards a blossoming romance, all because of a playful challenge, an unexpected visit, and the magic of a serendipitous encounter.

Maybe the reason why she still doesn't have a husband is because she is destined to have a wife.

-

(not proofread)

[corporatefrog]

꒦‧₊ ꒷ HEADCANNONS: Kenny, Kyle, Stan, and Butters saving you as superheroes/villains when you're in danger! ✧.*

✧.* tags: college au, superhero au ✧.* Characters: kenny mccormick, kyle broflovski, stan marsh, butters scotch a/n: another amazing anon request! i always love the suggestions and they lead to such fun scenarios (and ways to zone out during class lol)

masterlist

Kenny/Mysterion: 

Literally the scene from the beginning of Megamind where they’re in the observatory

Except he bursts in and saves you 

You were just trying to get footage of mysterion’s press conference then suddenly you’re tied up in the storage unit- sorry, the LAIR OF CHAOS

(he gets sad when you don’t call it that)

“Ah mysterion! It is I, your greatest foe-”

“I wouldn’t say greatest”

“Professor chaos- wait what?”

“I’m just saying I've literally fought cthulhu. He’s probably the greatest”

“Well, Cthulhu was an eldritch horror ! He doesn't count!”

“Yes he does”

“No he doesn't!”

“Yes he does!”

“No he doesn't-”

“Guys I really got to piss, can we speed this up?”

Mysterion shows up a few minutes later but you don’t get ‘rescued’ for another 30 minutes because him and chaos kept arguing

He walks you home and says he’ll always be there to save you

But you know the same thing is going to happen next week

Kyle/Human Kite

You were at the park with kyle to visit the pet adoption fair being held by the south park animal shelter

But Professor Chaos had other plans. 

Suddenly all of the animals were let out of their pens and were running through the park 

It was the most adorable stampede to ever exist

You turned to tell ky that you guys had to help but he was gone?

The text he sent: “allergic to cats. Sorry.”

BRO WHAT??

You get absolutely DOG PILED

By actual dogs. 

Chaos is evilly laughing while blowing a dog whistle while General Disarray points laser pointers at people’s feet 

You were ready to give into your death by puppy

But you’re pulled out from the dog heap by human kite! 

He flies??? Over to chaos and slaps the dog whistle out of his hands and starts lecturing him

You almost feel bad for the guy

But then again, there are cats running up trees and dogs running into the street so animal safety comes first

You help them take care of the animals 

(and definitely end up adopting a furry friend :) )

Stan/Toolshed

Professor chaos has stuck you in a small cell surrounded by glass with a 2 hour timer ticking down towards an unknown demise

Usually it wouldn’t have been an issue for tool to grab a sledge hammer and take care of it 

But the cell was made of impact proof glass 

That didn’t stop Toolshed from trying to break through the glass for 30 minutes while professor chaos monologues from a tv screen in the corner

“HAHHAA! I bet you’re wondering how I managed to trap-”

WOMP

“You won’t be breaking through that glass anytime-”

WOMP

“H-Hey! Let me at least get through my-”

WOMP

“WELL GOSH DARN IT LET ME DO MY SPEECH FIRST!”

And the only way to unlock it was to complete an escape room and find a key

But professor chaos seems to have forgotten that stan loves complex board games

And what is an escape room if not a complex solo board game? 

“You need to use the cipher from the map to decode the encyclopedia for the safe code!” 

“Oh yeah, I’ll definitely do that. If I were an idiot.”

“Okay now you’re just being mean” 

“It’s obvious that the map cipher is used for the chess board to give you the steps for the dance dance revolution machine!”

“...yeah totally. I definitely knew that’s how it works.”

He has you out in like 5 minutes 

And you make a mental note to never play Settlers of Katan with him. 

Butters/Professor Chaos

The freedom pals kidnapped you to try and get information out of you since you act as tech help for chaos

Well it was really just the coon

“I thought that kidnapping was a villain thing”

“Yeah because when a superhero does it, it’s taking a villain into custody”

“I really don’t see the logic there”

“WELL YOU DONT HAVE TO SO SHUT UP”

“I thought you wanted me to talk?”

“AHHHHH”

Really you were just giving cartman shit for a few hours

Until the basement suddenly fills with smoke!

Professor Chaos threw smoke bombs into a small enclosed basement (not a good idea-)

You both barely manage to get out while coughing through the smoke

But you do it!!

Yippie!! 

Chaos insists on getting you ice cream as an apology for getting wrapped up in everything

“I mean, if I had to deal with that dickwad everyday, I’d want to cause chaos to piss him off too. I only was there for an hour and i never want to see him smile again” 

You just became the coolest person ever to him

[sunny-ssunset]

Pretty in pink!

South park x girly fem reader

dividers by pinterest

Chapter 4

Masterlist!

♡Warning cuz Y/n's a bitch, im fucking removing stanny baby im sorry i just had to its horrendous. I dont really like this chapter its a bit shit AGED UP

LUNCH TIME! Y/n walked over to her lunch table her friends following her, "Y/n, could i speak to you?" A certain redhead walked up to the table, as Y/n placed her perfectly orginised pink lunch bix on the table, her look turning sour, avoiding eye contact. "Please Y/n i need to explain what happened" He pleaded, "What happened, Kyle. I don't remember anything in particular." Y/n finally made eyecontact, eyes red with anger at this point, although a grin spreading on her face. She knew he'd come back to his senses. They always do. "Please Y/n just let me explain" After his begging, she finally decided to go with him "Girls i'll be a second" She smiled sweetly at the girls, waving bye as she walked off with the tall redhead.

"Kyle." She looks up at him expectantly, a teasing smile. "I'm sorry Y/n I- I dont know what came over me- I heard Stan b-broke up with Wendy and I dont want to handle the competition. Y/n I ju-" Kyle stammers, turning red, "I don't think you realise how many people actually want you" He sighs, finally getting his point across. Y/n smiles, her smile turning into a giggle, then a full on cackle. Kyle turns red, shifting uncomfortably not really understanding what was so funny, Y/n carries on laughing in his face, wiping away her tears.

"Kyle honey, thats crazy!!! How could I not know?" Y/n's hysterics finally came to end, as she wiped tears away from her eyes, trying not to ruin her makeup, "Besides, Stan is like, ugly. You are wayyyy hotter!" Y/n smiles sweetly clinging on to his arm, batting her eyelashes at him. Kyle smirks, him? Hot?? This was his chance to shoot his shot. "Y/n I dont want to be a summer fling anymore. Can we like go out on a real date? I swear I'll save up and take you somewhere nice!" He looks down at her expecting a yes and a big kiss. "Kyle baby, you know how hard it is for me and my trust issues. But because you are so cute I'll think about it" Y/n kisses him on the cheek and waves before heading back to the caféteria, making a quick stop to the girls lavatory.

Reapplying a bit of makeup and spraying herself with a sweet bodymist, Y/n checks her phone.

Stan

Y/n I dont know if you heard but I broke up with Wendy

I'm just so upset, could you come over tonight I dont want to be alone

Y/n please

Jesus fucking christ he is so needy.

Y/n

Awwww Handsome what a shame!

I'll keep you company 😉😘

He wasnt upset. He just wanted to get in her pants like everyone else. Y/n tuts and rolls her eyes, walking back to the cafeteria.

"Y/N BABY I MISSED YOU" Bebe whined, giving her a huge hug. "Awww gorgeous I missed you too" Y/n cooed patting her back, sitting beside them.

So Y/n is a bit two-faced hm? Maybe She isnt the saint everyone thinks she is....

dividers by @k1ssyoursister