#and the other its literally just a hilarious attempt to cause a random act of violence

[floorpancakes]

there's smth so fucking wild abt 🏹 being like ride or die at first sight and determined to help 🐣 and 🐣 seeing 🏹 and being like no i am gonna randomly attempt to start a fight with you in the hallway in front of multiple people solely because you didn't pass the vibe check

[literallythegrabber]

TBP characters x somehow famous reader ? ( It's up to you how ) thank you for reading my request 👍

so I wasn't sure whether or not you wanted the cast or the characters themselves, so I just went with cast because it made more sense.

If you wanted characters I can redo it! 💗💗 (this looks way longer than it actually is btw)

Mason

he definitely stalks you

like not in a creepy way, he's just always on your social platforms, literally waiting for you to post.

he's totally your biggest fan, and will literally attempt to fight all of your haters.

Before your relationship, I feel like he was very nervous to talk to you.

Like if you two were ever at a screening together, or a fancy event back when TBP was popular, this man would legit stare you down from across the room. Then proceed to duck under a table if you catch him staring.

But during your relationship he would be way more relaxed and confident.

He would be chill about pda and taking you on dates in public, but your fanbase would be doing cartwheels, cause everybody ships yall.

Miguel

He's so obvious about his crush on you that it's hilarious.

If you seen those lives where he's just reading comments, then one mentions your name. He's gonna ramble on about you for the rest of the live.

WILL NOT SHUT UP ABOUT YOU, and his friends are tired of it tbh.

bro literally forgets he's famous too and turns into the ultimate fangirl.

But during your relationship he's so sweet.

Always wanting to hangout with you, taking you out in public almost every day.

If yall ever broke up, yalls fans would explode.

They be acting like yalls children with how lovey dovey yall are.

Brady

I feel like he'd try to hide it.

Like he's not in denial, but he don't want nobody knowing about his crush on you.

"conceal, don't let it feel" he's literally elsa.

He kinda keeps to himself around you, in public and all that.

He wouldn't want to overwhelm you, especially with how the media reacts when two popular human beings get together.

So you'd def have to approach him and ask for a date.

During your relationship, he would thaw the ice a bit.

You'd have to reassure him of your relationship a lot.

He just wants you to be comfortable. Lazy nights at home, introverted hangouts, cooking together.

Pretty chill.

Tristan

literally the opposite of brady.

IS YOUR BIGGEST FAN AND DOESN'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT.

He's definitely trying to rizz you up at a fancy event, and you're just like 😐

Like whispering random shit in your ear, trying to make you blush, posing with you at every opportunity.

Kinda annoying tbh

But if you give him a chance he'll tone it down. He'll start be more genuine and less flirty.

Taking you out to dinner, not wanting to take pictures with fangirls even though you scold him for being rude.

def starts arguments with you for fun. Starting light hearted arguments with you for fun.

this mf is still annoying.

but overall very cute.

Jacob

He's honestly pretty chill about you.

He just casually approaches you strikes up conversation.

In the middle of an interview? "These lights are bright, am I right y/n?" Talking with a fan? "Y/n, don't you have that same shirt?" Signing an autograph? "Do you think aliens are real?"

like shut up 😭

He really just enjoys talking to you, hearing your voice is the highlight of his day.

Yall would ease into a comfortable friendship before he ask you out.

From there on its late night ft calls, stealing each other's clothes, and going on casual excursions.

def the easiest to date.

Madeleine

She's so funny.

Either confesses right off the bat, or confirms you're hers after yall lock eyes.

kinda reminds me of that one audio, YOU ARE MINE, YOU ARE MINE.

Yall could be talking about pregnant hyenas, and she'll randomly be like, "I love you".

like girl what?

During your relationship she would be super cute.

Yall always out together. You can never catch her inside for more than 10 minutes.

Mason be feeling like a third wheel every time yall three are in the same room.

Yall just in the corner flirting and mason's just sitting there like 😐.

def your hype girl, yall always turning up.

srry, this was so long 💗💗

[shebeafancyflapjack]

Little Blue Eyes

A brief follow-up to this. Eleanor visits Michael during his reforming.

.

She had to hand it to Jason. If anyone had told her that it was possible to break a Janet out of Hell and get her away from an army of demons using just a Molotov, a single demon exploder gun, and a bag of weed, she’d have been very sceptical. But somehow he managed to bring their not-a-girl home, riding back in that hand-cart, grinning away as if he’d gone to a Jaguars game with her.

That was one problem dealt with. Now only a billion others to sort out.

As overjoyed as she’d been to see Janet back, safe and sound, she hadn’t been looking forward to reliving the most awful night of the year by explaining to her why their tall, dandy dressed demon wasn’t at her side, or hadn’t gone to save her.

It was easier to hand her the note that Michael had wrote (or possibly snapped into being after she slammed the door as she was sure even he couldn’t write that fast) before he’d pulled the trigger on himself.

I’m sorry.

I don’t want you to be worrying about how I might betray you or let you down again. If I’m locked up, you’re just going to worry that I’ve escaped. Just leave me in a tank on the other side of the map, or in Janet’s void if you bring her back, or just leave me in the Bad Place. If anything I just wanna ask that you make sure I’m all in there as I’d rather not come back shorter. Also if you can make sure no dogs are around to lap me up, I’d appreciate it.

I only ever wanted to save you all. I’m sorry I did nothing but screw up. I understand if you don’t want me back in the group after I’m back to normal. Please just get Janet back safe, even if it does mean going to the Judge. And give my best to Chidi when he wakes up.

I wasn’t lying about one thing; I really do love you all so much. I’m sorry it could never be enough.

Michael.

Reading the goo-stained letter with shaking hands, she’d struggled not to burst into tears of anger or throw up. Standing in the middle of the empty room, her friend dripping all around her, she’d wanted to scream at him for this being his best attempt to make things up to her - to forking leave her! To take the cowards way out. 

Being angry was so much easier than accepting the guilt of what she had said to him before that moment. Of questioning if she had gone too far...if she’d just taken a moment to listen to him...Usually the dude had trouble shutting the fork up but that night, all he’d done is stand there and take everything she threw at him...until there was nothing left standing. Literally.

If she’d had any idea he would do something so reckless and stupid then of course she would never have said...

But you did know. You knew exactly what he was prepared to do to help you, if it’s what you said you needed. What you wanted.

She never wanted this, she admits to herself, barely a couple months later.

Running this experiment basically single-handed was...not overly difficult. In fact, she was pretty confident in saying they were doing okay, considering the circumstances. 

But it still sucked. She was alone. Again.

Obviously there was no way she was going to have Michael’s goo abandoned in some random, isolated location. She was mad at the guy but she wasn’t a monster...so she told herself. At the same time, she couldn’t give up the role he’d thrusted upon her by suddenly taking up the role of nurse-maid, as hot as she might have looked in the uniform. He’d chosen to do this so she could work without distractions. Without a liability. 

“He sacrificed himself to save me. We’re on our own now. Let’s make it count.”

Just get the fork on with things, same as before. No point in looking back.

Tahani is the one who volunteers. She’s able to separate herself from the other humans without causing too much suspicion, claiming the need for a private getaway up in the hills, deep in the valley, a hidden fancy lodge by a stream, surrounded by peaceful deer and mountains. Definitely not Eleanor’s scene, anything involving the wilderness or even resembling camping.

By the time Eleanor sees her off on a private car Derek conjured up, Michael’s goo already reached its first form. The blind, helpless demon larva showed no signs of awareness of his surroundings, curling up as small as possible, malleable as Tahani swaddled him in her fluffiest blanket. Eleanor was almost impressed at how quickly the sexy giraffe had overcome being grossed out at the slimy, squidgy creature, able to look almost maternal as she carried him into the car. And she made sure to say as much.

Tahani’s heavy hearted response would stick with Eleanor for the next few weeks; “I didn’t reassure him when he asked us if we could ever be friends with a gross monster. Best I can do is show him how much we truly care.”

Ouch. Way to kick her in the girl-nads.

“You sure you’ll be okay?”

“I’ve helped out in multiple animal sanctuaries and used to fly out to work with deprived children with my dear friend Angelina...But this is definitely new territory for me.” She’d said as she looked over the larva demon, making the tiniest cooing noise in his sleep (or what they assumed was sleep). “I’ll try my best.”

That was all any of them could do. She’d contemplated attempting to speak to the larva Michael in her arms. What could she possibly say? Could he even understand her?

She was still angry. And yet it was difficult to connect the anger towards the one who abandoned her to the pathetic looking being in the blanket. Best to save all those harsh words on the tip of her tongue for when he was back to being tall and slappable. 

Is he really the one you want to slap?

The question comes back to haunt her more frequently each night that follows, whenever she thinks back on that night, or wonders how the two of them are doing. She and Tahani send letters often via the birds who are happy to act as messengers. They just have to be careful none of the humans intercept them. She lets her gorgeous friend know how the experiment is going and Tahani offers her tips on how to improve John, in particular. Every time she goes to write ‘how is Michael?’ she erases it, chest tightening. Tahani tells her anything important.

The slug monster form that follows the larva is a lot more challenging, she reports. He’s now the size of a Tibetan huskie and just as hungry.

I just let him roam the fields and eat what he can find. Sometimes I have to pull him in on a leash if he doesn’t tire himself out, otherwise I worry he’ll slither off in the night. I try to talk to him but he just grunts or roars at me until I tell him off. I was a little worried he might try to eat me but I found playing music - 80′s classics, mostly - calms him down and makes him rather docile. I don’t think he knows quite who I am or remembers anything. Perhaps it’s like when Janet is rebooted? He may need time to restore his memories, as she did.

Oh, darn, I must finish - he’s in the rose bush again!

Sometimes the image of her prim socialite friend trying to restrain a two-hundred-pound slug monster is so hilarious she can’t help but laugh. Other times she feels more guilt tugging at her soul to go lend a hand.

Is Michael really little more than an animal, in his head, right now? She’s hardly proved herself the best at pet care, though it sounded like Michael overeating was the least of their worries. It pained her to imagine what his head must be going through right now. Is he scared? Confused? Lost? Does he have any emotions other than the instinct to feed?

Does he still blame himself? Does he miss her as much as she...?

The more she sits in that chair in the office, the smaller she feels. It doesn’t belong to her; she’s merely filling it in while he’s gone. She has lunch in silence, remembering the jokes they used to share, the games of trying to aim food in the others mouth across the desk. She remembers him snapping a margarita for her when he knew she needed it most. She remembers his hand on her shoulder. She remembers him finding her at her lowest point, when everyone else had doubted her, turned their backs.

She remembers him, always there. And now she’s lost him.

Was wanting him gone over a stupid lie really worth all of this?

When Jason returns with Janet, on the same day she’s hesitating whether to jump on the nearest unicorn and head towards the mountains, she takes it as a sign. She has no excuse to stay away now - not with Janet back to watch over things, though she’ll probably be paying Michael a visit soon too.

She rides up on the train Janet conjures for her, saving her from trying to figure out how to ride a unicorn without breaking her neck. Something tells her she might have more luck at taming a slug monster than her British friend, not that she has any experience, just a few encounters with the grosser men in Arizona. Besides, it was Michael, at the end of the day. Their Michael.

The same Michael willing to sacrifice himself to help a bunch of cockroaches.

It’s such an idyllic landscape she arrives at. A total holiday card photo, without the snow. Nothing but grass and trees for miles before a backdrop of purple mountains. She looks around, seeing the evidence of devoured flower gardens and broken fences. At least the solid, oak cabin by the stream stood in tact, smoke billowing from the chimney. 

Eleanor is so focused on keeping her eyes peeled for a rampaging slug monster that she almost fails to spot the little person sat on the front step of the veranda.

She frowns. That has to be the whitest child she’s ever laid eyes on. Granted most kids growing up in Phoenix were smothered in fake tan before they were three by their moms, but this is something else. The kid has long white hair, half-plaited, down to the shoulders of the cream dress she’s wearing. Her skin is so pale it’s nearly translucent. Fork, is she looking at an actual ghost?

Wait...She’s a ghost. That really shouldn’t freak her out.

There’s just something so eerie about the little girl, from her sickly appearance to how weirdly quiet she is for...However old she is. Six? Seven? Thirteen? Eleanor really knows nothing about kids, just that they’re usually much louder than this one, sat alone, playing with a set of shining...

Oh.

“Michael?”

The kid looks away from the chain of a paperclips they were linking, gazing up at Eleanor on the gravel path. As soon as she sees their eyes, she has her answer. Even without a pair of glasses, she’d recognise those sparkling blue eyes anywhere. It’s only then that she remembers the third form.

Spooky little girl.

Though far less spooky than she imagined. More...sad.

Despite her surprise, she tries to smile, not knowing how badly she needed to see those eyes look at her again after this past month.

“Hey, buddy. How’re you feeling?” She starts to approach.

The kid drops the paperclips and jumps up to their feet, beginning to tremble terribly, eyes wide as saucers. 

Eleanor stops. Is he afraid? Of her?

“Michael? D’you remember me? It’s Eleanor, dude..”

“‘Hani!” The child cries turning and running inside the cabin. Fork, she knew was bad with kids, but shirt! Eleanor rushes in to follow, unable to hold back.

She enters the cosily furnished cabin to see the pale girl run up to the leg of the six foot beauty standing at the stove and cling to her skirt for dear life.

Tahani looks over from the pot of spaghetti, face fearful at first before lighting up when she spots her friend stood in the foyer.

“Eleanor! What a lovely surprise.” She beams, turning the stove off; “I’m so glad you decided to visit.”

“Wow...You’re kinda rocking the whole rustic single mom look here, babe.” Eleanor says, looking around the place, everything making her feel so warm and comforted from the open fireplace to the heavy air of recently baked bread. 

Tahani looks down to her charge hanging onto her dress, reaching down to pick the little fingers off carefully.

“Well, it was rather nice to have a project to myself, and Derek was surprisingly helpful. Everything else I acquired myself, having learned to survive in the wild from a well known ‘Bear’ friend of mine.” She holds the kid’s hands and bends down to their eye level; “Michael, sweetheart, look who’s come to visit. Remember Eleanor?”

The demon child whimpers, throwing their arms around Tahani’s neck and hiding in her luscious dark hair.

Eleanor bites her lip; “He’s a lot more shy than the slug monster, I take it.”

“Oh, I don’t understand. They were fine with Jason this morning, they were playing video games for hours - he and Janet teleported over briefly to check in on us. So glad they got back safe.”

So Jason gets a teleport but she takes the train? The first time she’s not an immortal being’s favorite to spoil.

Eleanor shuffles her feet, trying not to feel wounded at how terrified her friend currently is of her, when apparently there was no issue with Jason. But then, Jason makes it difficult for anyone to dislike him. Eleanor makes it an open invitation. 

The kid whispers something to Tahani that causes the woman to pick them up.

“Oh, darling, don’t be silly.” She responds, rubbing their back; “That was just a nightmare.”

“Nightmare?” Eleanor asks. Is she the stuff of nightmares?

Tahani eventually convinces the pale kid to go back outside to continue playing while she catches up with Eleanor.

Questions Tahani has about the experiment and the subjects get quickly brushed aside. Eleanor is unable to focus on anything but the image of Michael’s eyes looking at her with so much fear. When Tahani hands her a fresh cup of cofffee, she wants to stick her hand in it, just to scold herself for the sake of it.

“He’s having nightmares? I mean...she’s having...” Eleanor frowns.

“I find it easier to use ‘they/them’, which Michael seems to prefer as well, currently.” Tahani explains; “Most of the time, they’re a calm, affectionate child. Such a welcome change from the beast I was putting up with a fortnight ago, as much as they grew on me. It’s just at night, while their brain is still reforming and all these memories are flooding back...It can be rather distressing. Trust me, it’s heart-breaking just to see them crying and screaming...”

She can’t imagine that recalling centuries of brutally torturing innocents along with the knowledge of why that was wrong is easy for anyone, least of all in the form of a small girl, creepy or not.

“Honestly, the creepiest I’ve encountered so far is them levitating at the end of my bed - and that’s usually when they’re just looking for a cuddle.”

Eleanor smiles a little, Michael never was the best at being a truly ‘frightening’ demon.

“And I’m in these nightmares?”

Tahani sighs; “I suppose the memories of their last night are mixed up with everything else. They just...were worried you were here to say something mean or...you wanted them gone.”

Fork-sake. 

“I never wanted this, Tahani. I never wanted him to...Shirt, I didn’t even think he could, but...” She struggles to hold back tears; “I shouldn’t have come. I’ve just made him...Them more upset. Fork knows what I’d be in for if I stayed for the Teenage Boy phase. He’d probably set my hair on fire as payback.”

Bratty Michael in his fully grown form had been enough to handle. A hormonal one with amnesia was a whole other level.

“Eleanor. Just go talk to them.” Tahani presses; “This whole distancing thing you two are doing to deal with your falling out is dangerous. You’re not going to fix anything by staying away from them. As I kept telling my good friend Courtney when she had a row with my other friends, Lisa and Jennifer - you just need to communicate!”

“Babe, they’re afraid to even be alone with me.” She’s the monster under the bed now. All because she took one sin he committed to heart and forgot about all the good he’d done for her that outweighed it.

“Then stay, there’s plenty of room. Even if it means we swap and you stay here and I return to help with the experiment. Either way, this needs to be sorted out. I don’t believe demons are supposed to be this upset during their growth...You could help with that.”

Can she? She’s not the nurturing type, like her hot friend. She melted her own doll in the microwave as a kid. And she unwittingly talked her own demon bestie into exploding himself.

Tahani’s hand squeezing her wrist gives her some strength. 

“...Okay. I’ll try.” she meets her eyes; “Is Michael the only one allowed to snuggle in bed with you when they’re scared?”

Ten minutes later, she goes to find the creepy girl outside, this time sat among the flowers, being far more gentle with them than her previous slug form was. 

Eleanor approaches slowly.

“Michael? Buddy?”

The kid gasps, standing up again and flinching back. Eleanor raises her palm.

“Please don’t run away. I promise I won’t hurt you...and I won’t be mad.” She says, soft as she can manage, getting down to the ground; “And I’m not gonna make you go away anywhere. I just wanna chat...That ok?”

Michael doesn’t look too convinced, glancing over at the cabin. Looking for the one constant they’ve had, who’s been here for them, caring for them. Where Eleanor should have been, at least sometimes.

Okay. Time for the trump card.

“I got you something. Tahani said you have trouble sleeping. I thought maybe this guy could help?” She produces the minion toy from behind her back.

Michael’s eyes sparkle and he instantly reaches out to take it.

“So ugly!” They cheer, hugging it to their front.

Eleanor chuckles. Still so easily impressed.

“Can’t argue there...Also, I picked up those paperclips of yours. Did you know you can do this with them?” She holds up the chain; “Gimmie your wrist a minute.”

Michael frowns, hiding behind the toy a little.

“I won’t bite, dude. Kids are way too gross to eat. You’re too stringy and bony.” She wrinkles her nose.

They blink at her before slowly holding out their wrist. Eleanor takes the paperclips and links them around Michael’s arm, forming a bracelet.

The child gasps, clearly thinking they’ve seen it for the first time; “Holy motherforking shirtballs.”

“Damn, you kiss Tahani with that mouth?” That must have been another residue memory tucked away.

Michael sneers; “Kissing is gross.”

“It’s pretty weird if you think about it, yeah.” She concedes, glad they’re at least talking, as much conversation as she can have with a billion year old immortal that’s lost their mind as they regrow in the body of a haunting little girl; “...What about hugs? You like them, right?”

The kid nods, eagerly.

“...Maybe I could have one, someday? If we can be friends? I’d like that...” More than they could know right now. More than anything else, even having Chidi remember her. This...This is just as painful, because she can’t be sure if this is fixable. 

Eleanor crosses her legs as she sits, facing her friend.

“I’m so sorry, Michael. I know...you don’t understand that right now but...I’m sorry for why you’re scared of me...I wouldn’t ever wanna hurt you. Please believe me.”

Trust me? God, she’s such a hypocrite. 

The kid eyes her, up and down, before turning to the flowers. They bend down, picking a few up into a small bouquet of daisies. Michael turns and hands it out to her.

“Oh...Uhh....Thanks...” Eleanor reaches for them.

Michael’s blue eyes flash red. The flowers burst into flames.

“Forking shirt!” Eleanor jumps.

And still the kid holds them out; “Pretty, right?”

A heartfelt laugh tumbles out of her; “...I can tell Jason’s been here.” Or maybe that was part of her friend’s demon nature. Either way, it was adorable. “Thank you, Michael.” she says, taking the flaming daisies. “You know...if you want, I could show you how to make chains out of these? We could make a crown for Tahani?”

“And ones for me and you?” Michael asks, hopeful.

Eleanor’s lip quivers, a sudden lump in her throat. She reaches out to run her palm over her friend’s white hair, soft as it’s always been; “Yeah...Me and you too, bud.”

[ryuichirou]

I saw one very stupid post on my dash about how snk is OBVIOUSLY nazi propaganda and trying to convert all of us into imperialists and white supremacists. tbh it’s not the first time I’ve seen that kind of stuff and probably won't be the last, but for some reason this time it gave me a lot of anxiety (I got wordy, I'mma need to send another ask, sorry)

(part 2) It's been more than half and hour and I still feel this awful sensation in my chest. It's just overall pretty fucked how to have something you hold dear being misinterpreted in the worst way possible, and I was just wondering what are your thoughts on this situation or how you deal with people claiming all sorts of awful shit.

(part 3) I imagine that as an artist some people probably direct their issues with snk towards you, 'cause I don't even post that much fanart and I've gotten anons "trying to educate me" on why this series is so wrong, after posting drawings. Of course, you don't have to reply, maybe the topic makes you anxious too and I don't want to bother you, so sorry for the depressing topic (｡•́︿•̀｡)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Tiiish, I want to hug you, I’m really sorry that this happened to you. I hope you’re feeling a little bit better now.

Like we already mentioned a while ago, when we were talking about that darn article, after we read through it and did a little fact checking (and I mean it when I say a little, because there weren’t many facts to check), we stopped caring about it. It’s not research at all, just a manipulatively written speculation on Yam’s motives and worldview, but sadly, people easily believe these accusations because they hate SnK and want to find a valid reason to hate it and shit on its fanbase. Because “I hate it because it’s nazi propaganda” sounds much cooler than “I hate it because it’s popular”, doesn’t it?

It’s easier to ignore the article itself though, and it’s much harder not to think about tumblr posts or those Twitter threads that get very popular (although there are a lot of bots on twitter, trust me…), and it’s especially difficult to ignore it when it’s specifically directed at you. But the only thing that these people deserve is a good ol’ block and (if they’re getting too offensive and abusive) a report for harassment. The thing is, their opinion doesn’t matter: it won’t change SnK’s story, it won’t affect its success and popularity, it doesn’t affect anything other than our mood (temporarily lol). Because they aren’t critics who actually give a flying fuck about the subject matter, they’re just random assholes with a hateboner for SnK, who sit in their echochamber and discuss the same shit over and over again. And if they’re “fans” of the SnK, it’s just them “consuming it critically” 🙄 such a convenient phrase and so easy to abuse.

If we think about these accusations again… they’re so damn nonsensical, it’s almost amazing. I’m not going to reread it or to make a proper counterpoint article out of this ask, so this is just based on how we remember these accusations.

Like, what part of SnK approves and pushes the idea of imperialism in any way? When the entire idea of the story is that war is bad? When people like Onyankopon, whose homeland was invaded by Marley, exist? And it’s never portrayed as a good thing? Having only one country dominating the world’s situation is literally the main reason why everyone’s suffering??

And come to think of it, Isayama is one of the few manga artists to kind of sort of openly critique Japan: he literally drew Kiyomi losing her cool and drooling while thinking about all the profit and wealth she would get from the deal with Paradis. Why do people never talk about that? What is it, if not a critique of greedy and two-faced nature of people from Azumabito clan, who are heavily implied to represent Japan? I don’t read a lot of manga in general, but do you know how many mangakas I’ve seen who directly talked shit about Japan while being Japanese? Two. Excluding Isayama.

Isayama is clearly invested in the Western culture and he understands the World’s History. He understands that political relationships are complex and that there are no “bad” or “good” countries. I don’t want to make assumptions about how much perspective of the world’s relationships the average person from Japan has, but I still feel like Yams has a pretty good understanding of it. He did his research for the subject matter, and while it’s obviously not perfect, it’s clearly there.

These people also claim that SnK is anti-Korean and anti-Semitic, but if Hetalia had taught me anything, it is that if the story has or used to have any anti-Korean undertones, the Korean readers wouldn’t want to have anything to do with it. They would be the first people to ditch the manga, they would be the first people to critique SnK, and rightfully so. They burnt Uniqlo clothes, their overall domestic policy is pretty anti-Japanese, so there’re literally zero reasons for them not to destroy SnK if they see it as anti-Korean. But the size of the Korean SnK fandom suggests otherwise, doesn’t it.

And the “big noses = Jewish caricature” argument, seriously? How anti-Semitic can you get? Who the fuck looks at people and goes “oh, those have big noses, bet they’re caricature of Jews”?? Sorry I’m getting heated lol The argument about “Asian artists portray Westerners with prominent noses because that’s what we look like to them” has been done a lot of times, I’m not going to go over than again.

And god forbid Isayama to use Germany and Europe to draw a story where his characters are (approximately) Germans and Europeans! Let’s go fetch our pitchforks to punish Isayama for using their aesthetic to make his story look more believable and authentic, right? “Oh, those areas where they hold Eldians resemble places from real life”, like no shit???? Ofc they would??? That’s what references for making the story more grounded are used for??? If I were to write a story about a fictional place based on a real one that I don’t live in, I’d use some visual references to help me to make it more believable??? Why do I even need to explain that?

In my previous post I talked about the armbands and ghetto and stuff, but I’ll reiterate: even if there are thematic similarities, it doesn’t mean that the story mirrors our history. And it doesn’t mean that there is an analogy, since Eldian’s situation is quiiiite different than what Jewish people had to go through. It’s just thematic similarities. And it still doesn’t plant any specific idea in the reader’s head, other than “having people shoved into ghettos with 0 civil rights is a horrible thing”, and I can’t comprehend what’s anti-Semitic or imperialistic about it. Also I’m sorry, but nazis are not the only people who genocided a bunch of people, breaking news. Nor did they invent armbands. Same goes for Japan in WWII.

And now for my favourite argument: Erwin is nazi because his name is Erwin and he was born on the same day than some nazi guy died… I won’t even talk about why this idea is hilariously stupid, I just want to appreciate the level of nitpicking that’s going on here.

So… yeah. People who have nothing else to do but to complain about the show they hate don’t matter. And people who consider themselves a part of the SnK fandom and still say this bs (yep, there are people who do that) are huge hypocrites. The heck are they doing in this fandom then?? Of course, any story is up to interpretation, but this is so backwards?

Sorry for rambling so much… anyways. We’re happy enough not to encounter any hate related to this topic, but we think it’s because we ship Ereri and people already hate us for that, so the majority of shit we get is related to that, I guess we’re a lost cause for them. We’ll see if anything happens after this post though.

But once again, I’m very sorry that you had to go through this. Please remember that this isn’t personal at all, and people who harass strangers on the internet just want to flex their high moral ground while acting like complete assholes. You don’t have to explain anything to them, you don’t have to talk to them, you don’t have to listen to them or give them any attention. I hope you’ll never stumble upon anything like this; but if you ever do, please block them, don’t even bother reading their attempts at “educate” you. Isn’t worth it.

Please have a good day, Tish. And everyone who’s reading this reply.

[crowdvscritic]

round up // NOVEMBER 20

Hi, I’m tired. Actually, my friend Celeste created a piece of art that puts the emphasis needed on that sentiment:

I’m very tired. November felt like it was three years and also felt like it went by in a blink and also I’m not sure where October ended and November began—how does time work like that? (I’ve yet to see Tenet, but maybe that will explain it.) But like Michael Scott, somehow I manage, and lately it’s been like this:

Late-night Etsy scrolling. Browsing beautiful, non-big-box-store artwork is very calming just before I go to bed. I’d recommend Etsy stores like Celeste’s chr paperie shop, which I know from experience is full of great Christmas gift ideas. 

Taking a day off of work to do laundry. I’m not sure if it’s more #adulting that I did that or that I was excited to do that.

Eating Ghiradelli chocolate chips straight from the bag. I actually don’t recommend this as a healthy option, but this is also not a health blog.

Watching lots and lots of ‘80s movies. One day I’ll ask a therapist why this decade of films is so comforting for me despite its many flaws, but for now I’m just rolling with it.

Reading. Have you heard of this? It’s a form of entertainment but doesn’t require screens—wild!

Memes. All good Pippin “Fool of a” Took jokes are welcome here.

Leaning into the Christmas spirit by ordering that Starbucks peppermint mocha, making plans to watch everything in that TCM Christmas book I haven’t seen, and keeping the lights on my hot pink tinsel tree on all day as I work from home.

This month’s Round Up is full of stuff that made me smile and stuff that sucked me into its world—I think they’ll do the same for you, too.

November Crowd-Pleasers

Sister Act (1992)

If in four years you aren’t in an emotional state to watch election results roll in, I recommend watching Whoopi Goldberg pretend to be a nun for 100 minutes. (Though, incidentally, if you want to watch that clip edited to specifically depict how the results came in this year, you’ll need to watch Sister Act 2.) This musical-comedy is about as feel-good as it gets, meaning there’s no reason you should wait four more years to watch it. Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 7.5/10

Nevada Memes

Speaking of election results, Nevada memes. That’s it—that’s the tweet. Vulture has a round up of some of the best.

SNL Round Up

Laugh and enjoy!

“Cinema Classics: The Birds” (4605 with John Mulaney)

“Uncle Ben” (4606 with Dave Chappelle)

RoboCop (1987)

I’m not surprised I liked RoboCop, but I am surprised at why I liked RoboCop. Not only is this a boss action blockbuster, it’s an investigation into consumerism and the commodification of the human body. It’s also a critique of institutions that treat crime like statistics instead of actions done by people that impact people. That said, it’s also movie about a guy who’s fused with a robot and melts another guy’s face off with toxic sludge, so there’s a reason I’m not listing this under the Critic section. Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 8/10

Double Feature – ‘80s Comedies: National Lampoon’s Vacation (1983) + Major League (1989)

The ‘80s-palooza is in full swing! In Vacation (Crowd: 9.5/10 // Critic: 8/10), Chevy Chase just wants to spend time with his family on a vacation to Wally World, but wouldn’t you know it, Murphy’s Law kicks into gear as soon as the Griswold family shifts from out of Park. The brilliance of the movie is that every one of these terrible things is plausible, but the Griswolds create the biggest problems themselves. In Major League (Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 6.5/10), Tom Berenger, Charlie Sheen, and Wesley Snipes are Cleveland’s last hope for a winning baseball team. Like the Griswolds, mishaps and hijinks ensue in their attempt to prevent their greedy owner from moving the Indians to Miami, but the real win is this movie totally gets baseball fans. Like most ‘80s movies, not everything in this pair has aged well, but they brought some laughs when I needed them most.

This Time Next Year by Sophie Cousens (2020)

They’re born a minute apart in the same hospital, but they don’t meet until their 30th birthday on New Year’s Day. So, yes, it’s a little bit Serendipity, and it’s a little bit sappy, but those are both marks in this book’s favor. This Time Next Year is a time-hopping rom-com with lots of almost-meet-cutes that will have you laughing, believing in romantic twists of fate, and finding hope for the new year.

Double Feature – ‘80s Angsty Teens: Teen Wolf (1985) + Uncle Buck (1989)

In the ‘80s, Hollywood finally understood the angsty teen, and this pair of comedies isn’t interested in the melodrama earlier movies like Rebel Without a Cause were depicting. (I’d recommend Rebel, but not if you want to look back on your teen years with any sense of humor.) In Teen Wolf (Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 5/10), Michael J. Fox discovers he’s a werewolf.one that looks more like the kid in Jumanji than any other portrayal of a werewolf you’ve seen. It’s a plot so ‘80s and so bizarre you won’t believe this movie was greenlit.

In Uncle Buck (Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 7.5/10), John Candy is attempting to connect with the nieces and nephew he hasn’t seen in years, including one moody high schooler. (Plus, baby Gaby Hoffman and pre-Home Alone Macauley Culkin!) This is my second pick from one of my all-time fave filmmakers, John Hughes (along with National Lampoon’s Vacation, above), and it’s one more entry that balances heart and humor in a way only he could do. You can see where I rank this movie in Hughes’s pantheon on Letterboxd.

Lord of the Rings memes

This month on SO IT’S A SHOW?, Kyla and I revisited The Lord of the Rings, a trilogy we love almost as much as we love Gilmore Girls. You can listen to our episode about the series on your fave podcast app, and you can laugh through hundreds of memes like I did for “research” on Twitter.

Nothing to See Here by Kevin Wilson (2019)

Most adults are afraid of children’s temper tantrums, but can you imagine how terrified you’d be if they caught on fire in their fits of rage? That’s the premise of this novel, which begins when an aimless twentysomething becomes the nanny of a Tennessee politician’s twins who burst into flames when they get emotional. The book is filled with laugh-out-loud moments but never leaves behind the human emotion you need to make a magical realistic story.

An Officer and a Gentlemen (1982)

Speaking of aimless twentysomethings and emotion, feel free to laugh, cry, and swoon through this melodrama in the ‘80s canon. Richard Gere meanders his way into the Navy when he has nowhere else to go, and he tries to survive basic training, work through his family issues, and figure out his future as he also falls in love with Debra Winger. So, yeah, it’s a schamltzier version of Top Gun, but it’s schmaltz at its finest. Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 7.5/10

November Critic Picks

Double Feature – ‘40s Amensia Romances: Random Harvest (1942) + The Ghost and Mrs. Muir (1947)

Speaking of schmaltz at its finest, let me share a few more titles fitting that description. In Random Harvest (Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 8.5/10), Greer Garson falls in love with a veteran who can’t remember his life before he left for war. In The Ghost and Mrs. Muir (Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 8.5/10), Gene Tierney discovers a ghost played by a crotchety Rex Harrison in her new home. Mild spoiler: Both feature amnesiac plot developments, and while amnesia has become a cliché in the long history of romance films, Harvest is moving enough and Mr. Muir is charming enough that you won’t roll your eyes. You can see these and more romances complicated by forced forgetfulness in this Letterboxd round up.

The African Queen (1951)

It’s Humphrey Bogart and Katharine Hepburn directed by John Huston—I mean, I don’t feel like I need to explain why this is a winner. Bogart (in his Oscar-winning role) and Hepburn star in a two-hander script, dominating the screen time except for a select few scenes with supporting cast. The pair fight for survival while cruising on a small boat called The African Queen during World War I (in Africa, natch), and the two make this small story feel grand and epic. Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 9/10

Kind Hearts and Coronets (1949)

A young man’s (Dennis Price) mother is disowned from their wealthy family because she marries for love. After her death, he seeks vengeance by killing all of the family members ahead of him in line to be the Duke D'Ascoyne. The twist? All of his victims are played by Sir Alec Guinness! Almost every character in this black comedy is a terrible person, so you won’t be too sorry to see them go—you can just enjoy the creative “accidents” he stages and stay in suspense on whether our “hero” gets his comeuppance. Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 8.5/10

Bluebeard’s Eighth Wife (1937)

What would you do if you found out you were to be someone’s eighth wife? Well, it’s probably not what Claudette Colbert does in this screwball comedy that reminds me a bit of Love Crazy. This isn’t the first time I’ve recommended Colbert, Gary Cooper, or Ernst Lubitsch films, so it’s no surprise these stars and this director can make magic together in this hilarious battle of the wills. Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 8.5/10

The Red Shoes (1948)

I love stories about the competition between your life and your art, and The Red Shoes makes that competition literal. Moira Shearer plays a ballerina who feels life is meaningless without dancing—then she falls in love. That’s an oversimplification of a rich character study and some of the most beautiful ballet on film, but I can’t do it justice in a short paragraph. Just watch (perhaps while you’re putting up your hot pink tinsel tree?) and soak in all the goodness. Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 10/10

The Third Man (1949)

Everybody loves to talk about Citizen Kane, and with the release of Mank on Netflix, it’s newsworthy again. But don’t miss this other ‘40s team up of Joseph Cotten and Orson Welles. Cotten is a writer digging for the truth of his friend’s (Welles) death in a mysterious car accident. Eyewitness accounts differ on what happened, and who was the third man at the scene only one witness remembers? 71 years later, this movie is still tense, and this actor pairing is still electric. Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 9/10

The Untouchables (1987)

At the end of October, we lost Sean Connery. I looked back on his career first by writing a remembrance for ZekeFilm and then by watching The Untouchables. (In a perfect world I would’ve reversed that order, but c’est la vie.) In my last selection from the ‘80s, Connery and Kevin Costner attempt to convict Robert De Niro’s Al Capone of anything that will stick and end his reign of crime in Chicago. Directed by Brian De Palma and set to an Ennio Morricone soundtrack, this film is both an exciting action flick and an artistic achievement that we literally discussed in one of my college film classes. Connery won his Oscar, and K. Cos is giving one of the best of his career, too. Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 9.5/10

Remember the Night (1940)

Fred MacMurray and Barbara Stanwyck in my favorite team up yet! Double Indemnity may be the bona fide classic in the canon, but this Christmas story—with MacMurray as a district attorney prosecuting shoplifter Stanwyck— is a charmer. I’ve added it to my list of must-watch Christmas movies—watch for some holiday cheer and rom-com feels. Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 8.5/10

Photo credits: chr paperie. Books my own. All others IMDb.com.

[tuff-and-fluff-archives]

Okay I am hyperfixating HARD on Tom and Jerry and all my emotions from childhood have FLOODED forth, so now that I’ve finished watching (almost) all 161 original theatrical Tom and Jerry shorts from 1940 to 1967, I would like to force you all to endure my insane ramblings about this franchise. Although before I begin, I’d like to share where I’ve been watching all these! Here’s a Dailymotion playlist of all 161 shorts, put into the correct order by yours truly :3 OKAY NOW THE INSANITY BEGINS 💖💖💖

1) The Messy Formative Years: Shorts 001-017 (1940-1944)

So obviously, when a series is first created, especially an animated series, the first few episodes will always be a bit odd as the directors and writers find their footing and establish the rules of their own universe, and Tom and Jerry is no exception! In fact, these episodes can be a bit weird and even jarring to watch because the designs of the titular characters are so drastically different from how they look even ten years afterwards. In fact, in the very first episode, they don’t even have their official names yet and are instead named “Jasper and Jinx.” Also, there’s a LOT of talking in these beginning shorts before they decided to make Tom and Jerry almost entirely mute. Shorts 010 and 013 stand out the most, as they feature characters regularly speaking full sentences and it’s just... ohhh it’s SO weird to watch and it feels almost wrong 😅 Of course that’s not to say these shorts are bad, far from it actually! They’re still super fun and fascinating to watch and I think it’s quite interesting to see how such an iconic franchise got its start!

2) The Golden Years: Shorts 018-097 (1945-1955)

Oh. My. GOD. THESE ARE THE ABSOLUTE BEST. I guarantee that when you just think about Tom and Jerry, THESE are the shorts that come to mind. By now William Hanna & Joseph Barbara fully had their formula down and were just pumping out hit after hit afTER HIT HHHHH I LOVE THESE SO MUCH. I’m not kidding when I say that these shorts still make me laugh really hard and I absolutely adore nearly every aspect of them: the fluid and extremely expressive animation, the excellently timed music paired with each short, and the humor that’s constant and lands almost every time. My absolute favorite ones are around 040-080 but really all of these are just sooooo good. I know that this is stating the obvious but one thing that I especially love is just how VIOLENT these cartoons are, even more than the Looney Tunes shorts that were coming out at the same time. Characters are constantly picking up knives or axes or straight up GUNS and ngl I feel like half of the humor comes from that shock factor of the insane absurdity of that violence. Okay I’m starting to sound rly dumb, I know explaining the joke is never fun, but the directing and animation just NAILS every joke; I think the secret behind it is that there’s always a buildup and anticipation before the impact, and that buildup just makes the impact all the more intense! I was going to list my top 5 favorites but it’s impossible to choose so lemme just recommend a random five out of all of them: 026 - Solid Serenade, 048 - Saturday Evening Puss, 067 - Triplet Trouble, 069 - Fit to Be Tied, and 076 - That’s My Pup!

Also, I don’t know where else to mention this so I’ll just say it here: there’s a gradual change that Tom’s design goes through where he’s slowly drawn to be less and less fuzzy. At first his outline was drawn with a lot of points to emphasize his fur, but over time they abandoned doing that, my guess is because it was harder to animate. I’d say that they fully transitioned to Smooth Tom around short 030. That’s just a little detail I noticed and wanted to share! ^-^

3) The Slow Decay: Shorts 098-114 (1956-1958)

*heavy sigh* Well... a good thing can’t last forever. What’s kinda strange is that I can’t really nail down a specific reason caused a decline in quality after 1955; short 096 was the last to be produced by Fred Quimby, with Hanna & Barbara being given the producer credit as well as director credit for the remaining 18 shorts, and MGM animation studios had major budget cuts in the late 50′s and was shut down in 1957, and perhaps the studio shutting down had also taken the joy out of the crew, which would certainly have an effect on the cartoons. Now that doesn’t mean that these last 16 shorts are bad- they’re still quite entertaining, but they just don’t have the same energy as the shorts made in the Golden Years. They’re also nowhere near as cartoonishly violent as the past shorts had been; weapons are almost never used anymore and there are barely any efforts from Tom and Jerry to straight up kill each other, and more often than not they’re working together and even acting like close friends. I think that’s pretty fair evidence that even if these later shorts were much tamer and friendlier, that meant that they were lacking the same chaotic energy that made the other shorts so hilarious. 

Also I just need to vent this here cuz this era also contains the two most absolutely infuriating shorts in the Hanna-Barbera era, that being 100 - Busy Buddies and 114 - Tot Watchers. These two shorts consist of Tom and Jerry attempting to stop a baby from accidentally dying cuz it’s just a dumb baby that doesn’t know anything, while the babysitter is just totally ignorant to everything happening. Now I can’t quite explain why and I’m probably just making myself look like an asshole but these shorts are just... so frustrating to me??? Like its bad enough that this stupid baby whose face NEVER changes from that stupid little smile just keeps wandering into dangerous situations (in Tot Watchers it straight up crawls into a CONSTRUCTION ZONE) but every time Tom rescues the little bastard and puts it back in its crib, the babysitter thinks he’s “bothering” the baby (probably because of that one myth about cats laying on babies and stealing their breath) and so poor Tom is just punished for doing literally nothing wrong!! It’s just... very frustrating to me for some reason I’m sorry... (Although I have to admit that it is interesting and kinda cute that Tom knows how to change a diaper, like wif the safety pins and everything. Why does he know that...?)

4) The Gene Deitch Shit Shorts: 115-127 (1961-1962)

OOOH BOY. I don’t think... that I can really describe how purely and utterly I dislike the Deitch shorts. Okay so, to explain, in 1961 MGM decided they wanted to revive the Tom and Jerry franchise, so they contracted an animation studio based in Czechoslovakia to create 13 new original shorts. All of these shorts were directed by Gene Deitch, who before being commissioned for these cartoons, was open about his disdain for the original Hanna-Barbera shorts that he described as “needlessly violent.” After he was assigned to the series, he did come around to somewhat realize that the violence was intended to be overly cartoonish and humorous, but his initial opinion still had an influence on his directing decisions. In addition to these facts, the foreign team behind this series had only collectively seen a handful of the original cartoons, and each short was given a budget of only $10,000, compared to the $50,000 that the Hanna-Barbera shorts had all been given.

SO. To recap, these 13 new shorts were being made by a foreign team who had barely seen any of the source material, directed by a man who had disliked the original cartoons, and being made on 1/5 of the budget that the Hanna-Barbera shorts were given. Needless to say, the end results were a DISASTER. I’m not kidding when I say that watching these shorts feels almost like a fever dream with how completely baffling and surreal they are. I honestly don’t think they could be any more different from the original series; the music and sound effects are extremely minimalist and usually completely absent, the animation is so jerky and totally lacking the fluidity of the originals, and the character design is also drastically different and, in my opinion, kinda ugly too. These are universally considered to be the worst of the theatrical shorts, and Deitch himself has even stated that he and his team “hardly had a chance to succeed” and he fully understands the negativity directed towards the shorts he directed. I have to confess that when I rewatched all the theatrical shorts, I only got through two of these before outright skipping the rest of them. These 13 shorts are a complete disgrace to the majesty of the Hanna-Barbera series, and while I don’t hold anything against the people behind them, I can’t lie when I say that I hate these shorts. 

5) The Chuck Jones Era: 128-161 (1963-1967)

I have an odd love-hate relationship with these shorts. I don’t think I need to explain to you the legacy of the great Chuck Jones, the creator of Marvin the Martian, Pepe Le Pew, and the Roadrunner and Wile E. Coyote whose name is nearly synonymous with the Looney Tunes cartoons of the 30′s, 40′s, and 50′s. He’s an absolute legend in the animation industry, and yet... the Tom and Jerry shorts that he directed are still significantly weaker than the original series. Let me start with the things I like though! The slight changes in the character design to match Chuck Jones’ signature style are super appealing (I especially like how at times, Tom will almost resemble Jones’ design for the Grinch) and the animation is of course very well done and a joy to watch, but despite these positives, the humor is sadly lacking. There are still quite a few jokes that land, but they’re more restrained and just don’t have the same high-energy oomph! of the impactful gunshot sound effects and violent screams of the original cartoon. I’ll always have an appreciation for this era of shorts and the man behind them, but they sadly didn’t even come halfway close to the Hanna-Barbera series.

WELL. ANYWAY, THAT’S MY RANT!!! Thanks for reading this far, all two people that did. It just felt good to get this outta my system! 💖💖

[birdsaesthetic]

During the Thunderstorm

A/N: So remember when I rambled about this prompt? I couldn’t rest for the whole week until I put it into actual writing 😁 Anyway, I think I mastered it! And I hope you enjoy it! on ff.net

****

"It's only getting worse!" Kurt commented, his attention mainly focused on the view above him, which was limitless sky covered with thick, gray clouds colliding and increasing in size so drastically in matter of seconds.

Jane, just like him, couldn't take her eyes off the sky; it looked breathtaking, frightening, and mesmerizing all at once. "Oh God! We should head back home before this gets any worse and we get stuck here."

They were at Rich's apartment, now standing at the balcony overlooking the whole city, New York City, that now was looking rather like ghosts city, darker than ever, emptier too.

Earlier, when Jane and Kurt were having the ride to Rich's apartment, there wasn't the tiniest suggestion of coming thunderstorm. They hadn't recognized a single cloud in the evening sky, nor had they felt strong blows of winds, though now the weather was moist, and the winds below mostly from the west.

It hadn't been a full hour since they'd made it here, to Rich's place, and they hadn't even had a chance to catch up with the rest of their friends or to finish a full glass of wine just yet. Unfortunately, though, now they were considering heading back to their apartment at a Friday night, which they most of the times—but not this time—spent it either with their friends, or with one another, having a fancy date at a fancy restaurant—but even this option seemed to be stripped away now!

Easy footsteps approached Jane and Kurt from behind, which got both their attention as they glanced over to see that it was Rich steeping closer with all smiles. The second they only just tried to smile back, a great clap of thunder echoed through the sky, which had all three of them flinch, holding their breath. There wasn't any droplet of rain came with it, not yet, only lightning and rumble of thunder.

After Rich let out the breath he'd held, he gasped, "Oh! Seems like Lord is angry at you two," with a smirk, eyeing them in suspicion.

"Why us?" Jane chuckled, rather in nervousness, and with her Kurt chuckled too then took a small sip of the glass of wine he was holding.

"You just missed a hilarious joke I throw at Patterson. Tasha and Reade bursted out laughing." Rich replied, attempting levity, always and forever. "But don't worry; I'll throw plenty of those at each of you for the rest of the night." He smirked some more, then added, "You just stop creeping around and come in join us inside."

Jane cracked a smile then, looking at Rich then back at Kurt, who cleared his throat to say, "I don't think we're going to stay here any longer. The thunderstorm seems to be getting worse, and so we think that we should head back before we get stuck here with you until very late."

Rich quite literally had a panic attack to have heard that from Kurt, showing an absolute disagreement. "No. you're not going anywhere! We're just about to start the night. You can sleep over after that, don't worry."

Jane's brows rose. "Where? On your tiny couch? The two of us?"

To begin his suggestions, Rich stepped closer, managed to sound as convincing as possible, and then said, "Absolutely not! You can have my fancy, marital bed (that I don't have anyone to share it with) and it's behind a closed door. As you may know, I really respect your privacy. And no worries about me, I'll take the couch, happily. Alright? Also, if you two need even more privacy, I can just spend the night with my neighbors here next doors; they're really good people. They love me and I’m sure they wouldn't mind."

Jane couldn't help the wide grin that flashed across her face at how genuinely impressed she was by Rich, and the expressive gestures he'd made, and the concern he'd shown. An old memory she had with him just swiped her mind once he was finished talking, waiting, with all smiles, for an approval from them.

As for Kurt, he felt a slight blush spread over his cheeks at Rich being this generous with them. But after all, and with an apologetic face, he had to say, "Thanks, Rich, but we do have our own bed that we prefer."

"Don't disappoint me! Please, think it over."

"Maybe next time," Jane tried, in a voice rich with sweetness.

"It seems like a perfect time now! We haven’t even caught up yet!" Rich insisted.

"We still can while finishing this class of wine." Kurt said with a wink then took another sip from his win.

Rich would've kept pressing and insisting until the two would give in to his offer, but then, as western winds blew aggressively and he had to narrow his eyes, he gave in, defeated. "God, okay! But don't ever say that Rich isn't a generous friend and never offered us anything!"

Eyelashes fluttering to avoid the wind, Kurt pressed a protective hand over Jane's back, then shook his head and mumbled, "We won't, Rich. Thank you anyway!"

Disappointed Rich could no longer tolerate the heavy winds and the breeze that came with it, and so he retreated from the balcony to the living room, where everybody else gathered.

As soon as Rich departed, Jane turned to face the balcony and shook laughing, covering her mouth with a hand while the other held the glass of red wine. Kurt tried to have a glimpse of her face, tried to grasp what was the fun in that, but only failing in doing so. "What!" He asked then, grinning with a puzzled look. And when Jane surfaced, eyes shining with laughters, voice mixed with the laughters too, she said, "I just remembered something,"

"What is it?"

"It's—breathing—Remember when we first met Rich? The one mission we went undercover as a couple? He talked to me aside, telling me that he'd want to watch us make out together, or maybe he'd meant something more than just that." She laughed some more.

"He did?" a chuckled escaped Kurt's lips.

"He did. Remember how he was so blown away at how we looked good together as a couple?"

"Yeah, we looked good."

"We did."

"And we acted well."

"We did."

"We also danced well."

"That is also true." she rolled her eyes over, grinning.

They shared a loving gaze for some times as the winds flopped Jane's hair in every direction. But then, and as promised, they gathered with the rest and finished their drinks while chatting with their friends for a few more minutes, explaining to them as well that they would have to leave for now in order to get their place safely. Patterson and Reade considered doing the same thing. Tasha, however, could care less about such matters; after all, Reade was her ride, so...it wouldn't be her problem to deal with anyway.

By the time Jane and Kurt kissed their friends quick goodbye, made their way to the building's floor, and pushed themselves through the exit, the weather got a lot worse. No falling rain just yet. But the rumbling of thunders echoed in a powerful way, flashing lights and causing loud, deep noise through the sky.

Lucky Jane leaned to her husband's arm as it wrapped around her middle to keep her impossibly close, as if she were weightless and he were afraid to lose her along with blowing winds. A faint smile played across her lips to that, and she did the same for him, wrapping an arm around him in attempts to maintain some warmth between them. One passing stranger would've thought that they were just new lovers being so excessively romantic even in such circumstances.

After that, they walked against the winds the few paces until they finally reached the car, not necessarily rushing out. Each one of them looked out for the other, holding their breathing until they safely got into the car, Kurt taking the driver seat and Jane the passenger one.

Kurt stared straight ahead at the road and began driving the car, carefully and slowly. The view of the empty streets and the dark, growling sky felt as though the world was oozing toward its end, though there was also a sense of serenity in it.

Halfway through the ride, outside the car cold drops of rain started to fall simultaneously as Jane tuned the radio to a random channel, and it happened to be the weather report announcing and warning that heavy rain and thunderstorms would continue until the next morning.

Jane glanced over at Kurt, who was slightly frowning, his attention poured into the steering wheel and the road ahead of him. For more or less than a minute, she stared at him, not saying anything but only admiring his side profile, and the parted lips that gave him the appearance of someone pouring so much energy into what he was doing.

The rest of the ride passed quietly—well, technically not quietly since the rainfall thrumming all over their car, but the wordless air between them retains an aura of pleasant silence.

"So what's now? Spending a Friday night at our apartment? That never happened!" Kurt wondered, after having made it to their apartment, safe and happy, if they would not complain about how they'd had to stumble across the street from the car to the building as the rain poured so outrageously on them, which resulted in soaking them all over.

Kurt was just shrugging off his Jacket when he said that, and Jane was kneeling down to ditch her dirty pair of shoes. Now she lifted her ducked head to look at him, shrugging, "Umm, I think we should just get comfy in the couch, or our bed."

"Isn't it early for bed?" He thought, roaming across the living room until he stood by her side.

"No! And I'd say the bed. What would you say?" Jane was up on her feet by now.

"Would I ever disagree with you?" He began with the flirting, to which a touch of amusement flickered on Jane's face. She found herself speechless then, unable to form a word, unable to find the right words that would match his. Unique.

She just smiled.

Kurt approached. With his big yet light hands, he unzipped her jacket for her then striped it off. Her gaze lowered to the minimal effort he was putting before he folded it with care and set it upon the couch within his hand's reach. It was made of leather, her jacket, and so whatever she'd worn beneath it was perfectly dry and warm up until now. Thankfully.

She was still smiling when he burrowed his fingertips into the wet of her hair then bent down for a kiss. They shared a light kiss, but when he drove forward for a deeper one, Jane pulled away from his mouth, and smiled at him some more. A little frustrated, he tried again, only to see her slip away from his arms and already at their bedroom door.

Kurt did his simple night routine, which consist of three things: brushing the teeth, rinsing the face, and finally stripping the outer clothes, after that, he rested down on bed, facing the celling, and awaited Jane to come join him. She used extra more minutes in the bathroom, taking her sweet time to dry out all the wetness from her hair. And when she was done with that, she finally joined Kurt in the bedroom, wearing a thin piece of clothing, confident that not cold nor wind would reach her here and now.

Kurt spotted her when she first emerged, but he noticed that she didn't come join him in the bed just yet. Instead, she walked, almost blindly, across the room, farther from him. His eyes watched her move with easy footsteps toward the window, as if being drawn by a magnet. The more she stepped, the rumbling sound of the thunderstorm became like screams in her ears. She almost decided to turn around and go snuggle inside her husband's arms, who was mere feet away from here, but she exhaled and finally reached it there.

Her hands first clutched at the rough fabric of the curtains before spreading them wide open. What she saw outside the window sent a tremor through her spine: tremendous, angry thunderstorm shudder through the early night sky, throwing lights consistently. Rain pelted the glass, and judging from its aggressiveness, it looked like it was threatening to last forever like this but not until tomorrow's morning.

Jane loved the rain, however aggressive. She loved watching it from a cozy place as it poured down and enriched the nature. Each raindrop seemed to come down with a promising hint. Just the rain would be fine, however not with the lights flashing...

The sky lit up with another flash, and soon followed by another loud thunder. Her heart skipped a beat from within her chest, but then she raised a hand and pressed it against the window's glass, as if the glass were invisible and she would run her hand under the rain. But when all she felt against her palm was the glass's coolness, she sort of scowled. Just then that she pressed harder, wishing if she could feel it, the dropping rain, only to feel the sweat of her own palm.

Kurt called her name from across the room, having waited long enough, and disappointed Jane spun around to the growling of his voice, open-mouthed.

Eyes fluttering, peering through the muted lighting of the room, she caught Kurt's eyes from a distance nonetheless. Leaving the open curtains forgotten behind her, she tried a smile then finally joined him in the bed, sitting on his lap, with her legs on either side of him while he was laying back, eyes alert and shining, fixed on hers.

Happy to have her back in his hand reach, Kurt welcomed her with his warm hands gliding up and down from her waist to her ass. "You brought us bed early so you could keep vigil at the rain?" He said in whispers.

"No. So I could make love to you." She corrected.

Both smiled a knowing smile and closed their eyes as Jane brought herself lower to him then pressed her lips against his own. After a brief kiss, Kurt reopened his eyes, only to see her smile creep onto his face, as if glued on her lips; her smile never dropped off.

Feeling so much affection for her, Kurt shifted, got up, eager to keep her legs still around his waist, and then drove forward for another kiss. She hummed against his mouth, curling her arms around his shoulders and feeling that his hair still damp from the rain. Then, she pulled a little back, glanced at the window, then back at him. "I'm worried about whom without homes right now."

"Yeah, hope everyone stays safe." Kurt said softly. "But since you're safe, I'm not that worried to be honest."

Jane furrowed her brow. "Never thought I'd live to hear you say that!"

"Say what?"

"That you're not really worried about everything and everyone!"

"I'm worried about you!"

"I know, but you used to worry about everything and everyone else."

"That was a long time before. Now I have only one priority."

Again, Kurt had charmed her by his choice of words, to which Jane found herself speechless.

After that, she felt him sneak his hands beneath her top, seemingly desperate for more skin-to skin connect. As amazing as it felt, feeling his warm hands directly against her skin, she had to prevent him from getting there, pushing him gently to collapse against the mattress. Kurt did nothing in protest against that, knowing what she was doing and why; she wanted to make love to him, in her own way, is all. Now all he did, though, was match her smile as she petted his damp hair like a good dog.

From her point of view, his lips looked parted, aching to be kissed again, but she only outlined them with an index finger, and let her do so for awhile, then he slid out his tongue and licked, then sucked on her finger, which made her moan out loud, arch at the slightest feel of him, feel dizzy with the image of him all inside her, despite he barely had done anything yet.

His hands, once again, worked their way to her top, tugging on it. It was so thin that he could actually see the tattoos through it, her inked nipples, too—it really was no use having it on!

"Come on, lose the top, I've seen you a million times before." He pleaded, as her finger continued to draw random patterns all over his chin and lips.

"It's not about you've seen me before!" She retorted.

"So it's about what?" He asked, dumbfounded.

She fixed her spine, after having been hunched over him, and pressed her palms against his broad chest, then said, "It's about you've seen me a million times before yet you're dying from the inside now to see me once more!"

He chuckled, "And what if I want to see you once more?"

"Of course I'll show you what you want to see, honey." She reassured, to which his face broke into the widest grin in silent thanks.

As promised, she pulled the top over her head then put it aside, before which she rolled her eyes in a way she seemed to really enjoy pleasing him to the point of bursting but also feeling a little stubborn to show it. He, as a reaction, felt the satisfaction run throughout his veins, looking at her with pure desire as his shoulders relaxed, and his forehead softened.

She was so damn beautiful, had always been. Every time he ever saw her, he'd wondered how she looked this beautiful, slim yet surprisingly strong. Sometimes he'd wondered to himself, other times he'd told her that, out loud—just like this time. "How are you this beautiful! I'm so grateful that you're the one I married, and you became my wife, now I can touch you, everywhere, and we can make love, anytime. Well, whenever we can, right? Can we...now?"

Having heard that, Jane helplessly pulsed for him between her legs, imagining the feel of him there, against her thighs, the sparking center of her desire. And then, she gasped out a triumphant laugh before she bent low, nuzzling against his nose as she whispered, "Of course we can, honey."

She locked her eyes with his as she got to her feet, cast down the rest of her clothes, then climbed back on top of him. She could feel him now, beneath her, impossibly hard like a steel despite how they were barely getting started—they even hadn't bothered with foreplay.

After matching her, casting down the only piece of clothing he had on, Kurt helped Jane to rise and squirm here and there until their body joined together. Before doing anything farther, the two stole a moment of appreciation, cheeks flushed, lips parted, and mind running a mile a minute at how much they wanted each other, badly so.

As if going to dive into the ocean, Jane drew in a deep breath then begun riding him with a good deal of effort. She momentarily lost control of her eyes so they fell close, and her jaw dropped as Kurt gripped onto her hips to brass her firmly; not to arch or slip or something.

The rain continued to fall heavily, pelting at the window's glass, its sound pouring into their ears with the loud rumble in the sky from the outside. But they got used to it by now, and it felt like a nice addition, like an encouraging soundtrack.

They moved so slowly together along with the steady thrum on the windows, making the minimalist effort. The moment Jane reopened her eyes, she caught him look at her fondly during moving with him. The little glint in his eyes, admiring her small breasts bounce with the movements, with the effort she was making, admiring how gorgeous she looked in pleasure all because of him... Or the fact that her hair was brushing against his face and it might've scratched his eyes yet he didn't bother to close them...

The mutual desire increased in intensity the same way the thunderstorm had earlier today. Extremely. But it wasn't until a series of great claps of thunder echoed, howling, crying, warning, and baying like a wolf from within their room that Jane steeled, stopping completely, and stayed herself by gripping onto his shoulders. Kurt's eyes were bright, teasing in the semidarkness and she was digging her nails into him as if to hold on for their life as she looked down at him. He brought her head to him then kissed her softly in the lips, whispering something she couldn't hear. Perhaps something reassuring.

Heart pumping, too stunned to think, let alone move, Jane used a few seconds to breathe, and then she resumed moving. But the thunder wouldn't shut up, so she was still distracted, mind else where, Kurt could tell.

"Focus on me, honey." He whispered, his voice sweet.

"I'm with you." She breathed, barely having found her voice as she moved clumsily against him.

"Are you?"

She sighed, realizing he was right. "Sorry, but it feels like the whole ceiling is going to collapse upon us and with it all the walls will come down, and I'm steeling—"

"Wanna come beneath me, so I take the hit when that happens?" He chuckled.

"Kurt..."

Their bodies were still joined when she found herself beneath him a second later. He kissed her hard then whispered, "It's okay, you're safe, here with me. Just give me your absolute attention and I'll make you forget everything happening in the world right now. I'll stop the time for you if you want me to."

"You know how to butter me up, huh!" She whispered, holding his cheeks.

"Don't I?" He whispered back, then chuckled right against her mouth, which sent his warm, wet breath against her skin, which also tickled her nose a little. She curled up her lips in the tiniest of smiles, despite how anxious she was feeling. "Slowly, okay?"

"Don't you worry." He promised.

She blinked at his promise, then wasted her breath on kissing him, withdrawing strength from him. A few seconds later, he began thrusting into her, rising and falling, slow as promised, but also determined.

He truly could make her forget about everything else once he was atop her, inside her, his body fussing with hers, feeding hers.

The sky shook with cries of the thunder again and again. The rain raged on. But they didn't even flinch at it, they rocked together with matching possessions, desperate for release, but also eager for this moment to last.

[sireswhore]

Elephant in the Room

Requested? Yes! “imagine a day at the beach with scott before anybody knows you two are together and getting caught by jason and his kids at the beach when they ask ‘isn't that y/n and scott?”

Summary: you and Scott have been secretly dating for a while, your little secret gets exposed by the vlog squad...

Warnings; language, alcohol usage?

“How about this spot?” Scott asks, looking at an empty site on the sand.

“Oh my gosh yes! Perfect, let’s lay this blanket down,” you said eagerly.

You and Scott have secretly been together for about two months now. None of your friends know, and you both were experts at keeping everything under wraps so far.

You guys were so good, that even the fans didn’t suspect anything between the two of you. You both agreed to keep it between each other until the secret simply couldn’t be contained anymore, after all, secrets do have to eventually come out someday.

But today, in this beautiful weather, the two of you were having a date on the beach. Sunglasses were on at all times so you wouldn’t get recognized, although that isn’t 100% reliable, you still felt like the characters on “Starstruck” and that was good enough for you.

After the two of you finished setting everything down, the first thing Scott did was pull out his sunscreen. And before he could open it to squirt some into his hands, you snatched it.

“I’ll do it for you!” You rushed, just wanting an excuse to let your hands run over his upper body. He smirked while laying down, getting ready to let you get to work.

Scott hissed at the coldness of the product on his chest, making you giggle as you kept spreading it evenly on his tatted skin.

Your hands worked on thoroughly rubbing it in, while your fingers traced over every nook and cranny available. You were definitely having a great time, and you haven’t even done his back yet.

“You’re so pretty,” you said as you admired him, finishing the last of the areas you haven’t covered.

He scoffed, “Says you, gorgeous,” Scott tried to wink but forgot that you couldn’t see it, so he smiled instead.

The two of you spent your day vibing to your favorite music, eating, and cute cheesy shit like writing your initials into the sand and piggyback riding to the shore.

And absolutely nothing could go wrong, right? Wrong.

You guys chose the right day but the wrong beach to visit as you both unknowingly came to the same one that Jason comes to with his kids.

He mentioned he was going to rent a house for that same weekend. That detail must’ve slipped your minds because you both were lounging with each other carefree.

You sat in between Scott’s legs, your back against his chest while his arm hugged across yours. Both your eyes focused on the colors of the sky, watching the sunset and talking about how gorgeous it looks.

You turned your head to look up at him, he looked down at you. Scott smiled when he saw your sunglasses had slid down to the tip of your nose, revealing your eyes to him.

Scott lightly placed a finger under your chin before he leaned in you kiss you.

Except it didn’t happen because both of your sunglasses bumped together instead, causing the two of you to laugh.

“Maybe let's take them off for a few seconds, yeah?” he asked.

You nodded, both of you pushed your glasses to the top of your heads and finally met with a warm embrace, reveling in each other's lips.

From a distance, someone could spot them and their whole cover could be blown.

Except someone did spot them, and that someone might’ve blown their cover. That someone was Charlie.

“Daddy isn’t that y/n and Scott over there?” She pointed Jason to where you both were.

Jason saw exactly what she saw, and he couldn’t believe his eyes. He had no idea what to say.

“No Charlie,” he laughs trying to play it off, “that’s not them, they do look like them though,” he chuckles, scratching the back of his head nervously.

“No daddy, it looks like his tattoos and everything,” Wyatt chimed in.

Jason knew they were right, but he just figured to change the subject so they wouldn’t go around saying that to people.

“Guys come on, Scott literally sent me a picture 5 minutes ago saying he was working out in the garage. There's a lot of people out there who may look really similar to the people you know, it’s not them I promise,” he laughs, “c’mon let's go get ice cream before they close,” he rushes as an attempt to distract them from the thought.

And that they did...

_____

A couple of days after, Jason was already spilling the tea.

“...and there they were, on the beach making out and cuddling,” he was telling Carly and Erin in the car, and their mouths hung open like a flytrap.

“NO WAY,” they both said in unison, both in absolute disbelief.

“Deadass,” Jason finalized, and the girls looked at each other.

“Oh my god,” Carly said.

“Who would have thought...,” Erin chimed in, sipping on her drink.

Then shortly the girls broke the news to Matt, who had an even more exaggerated reaction. Soon he told Todd and Zane, Todd telling Natalie, who told David. Zane telling Heath and Mariah and so on and so forth until the entire friend group knew.

Boy that was a lot.

All of them kept in contact with each other, and soon enough they created a separate group chat just to talk about it.

They exchanged thoughts and tried to connect the dots and figure out when this has started going on. All of a sudden they went from Vlog Squad to Scooby-Doo.

Shortly after that was going on, Scott was over at your place, you both received texts from the original group chat saying that we’re all invited to a get-together at Heath and Mariahs the next day.

“So cute! Its been a while since everyone has hung ou- oh my god what if this is an occasion? Do you think she’s pregnant??,” you immediately jumped to conclusions.

Scott chuckled, “Nah I don’t think it’s that serious, they probably just literally want to get everyone to ‘get together’,” he explained.

“You’re no fun,” you stuck your tongue out at him.

“Oh yeah?” next thing you knew he gave you a tickle attack which sent you into a laughing frenzy until you begged for him to stop so you could breathe.

You guys had no clue about what would happen the next day...

__________

“I’m excited for today, I missed having all of us together. Usually, there’s like about half of us hanging out,” you told Scott who wasn’t in the same car as you but he was on speaker as you both drove down to the house.

“Yeah me too, but I’m gonna miss not being able to *be with you* be with you,” he pouted, you couldn’t see him, but you could hear the disappointment in his voice.

“Aw baby me too, but you can be with me after okay?” you told him.

“Ugh fine,” he said playfully.

You giggled at him, “Okay baby I’m almost here I have to hang up,” you said.

“Nooooooooo,” he groaned.

“Yessssssss, I love you bye for now,” you laughed.

“I love you....see you soon,” and you said ‘bye’ again before you hung up on him.

You and Scott both pulled up separately, like you’ve been doing all this time for the past two months.

Scott goes in first, then five to ten minutes later you arrive and come in like it wasn’t planned.

But this time the vibe in the house felt so strange.

Ever since you were let in through the door, you felt as if everyone was glancing at you a little bit longer than usual. But nonetheless, you took it with a grain of salt and shrugged it off.

You all spent time laughing at jokes, telling stories, and whatnot.

After a while, everyone thought it was a great idea to play a game of truth or dare.

“Alright alright, everyone in a circle! Let's play truth or dare,” David shouted.

Everyone who was already sitting on the couch scooted forward, and the rest found a spot on the carpet or on a LoveSac.

You went and found a seat in between Jonah and Jeff, while Scott found a seat next to Todd and Zane. Everyone was surprised at how good you both were at keeping this up, you didn’t sit next to each other, bravo.

Zane had just finished another bottle of corona, and you all used that to pick people at random.

Natalie gave it a spin because she was the closest. The first person to get picked was Corinna, and she was dared to remove her panties and give it to whoever the bottle landed on.

Hilariously enough, the bottle landed on Todd, while the room echoed with ‘oooooh's’ and laughter. What are the odds...

Second was Ilya, and he was dared to lick Jason's toe for a minute. He spent a good five minutes arguing with David trying to negotiate the time, while Jason argued about how he didn’t even get a say in it.

Ilya still did the dare, he did the deed for a good ten seconds at least. David just wanted to see how long he would go.

And finally, the one who everyone has been secretly waiting for, ....you.

The bottle pointed at you and for some reason, your palms started to sweat, and you looked at Scott for a split second before looking at David, who was asking you to choose between truth or dare.

You knew that it was best if you stood on the safe side if David was the one determining your dare, so you chose truth even though it would be equally as bad.

Scott took a swig of his drink to prepare himself for whatever David had in mind.

“So out of everyone here, who’d you fuck?” David smirked, you obviously felt so put on the spot.

Everyone had eyes on you, waiting for the answer they were hoping to hear while Scott slightly choked on his drink.

“Oh um,” you looked around trying to find someone to pick, but more realistically a way out.

“I’m not gonna lie, probably Ilya...,” you lied, you didn’t even believe yourself at this point.

“Oh really? You’re sure you wouldn’t pick Scott?”Zane asked in a daring tone.

All of a sudden your heart skipped a beat before it started racing while your face felt hotter than a teapot.

‘What do they know?’ you thought to yourself.

“W-What are you talking about?” you still tried to act like you had know idea of what they mean.

“Well Jason found you and him at the beach together and since you guys are obviously dating we’d be sure you’d pick him,” David said.

And there it was. The elephant in the room finally has it’s time to shine.

You genuinely had no idea of what to say this time.

Scott was sitting comfortably in his seat quietly while you were getting all the heat.

“Uh, don’t just look at me! Look at him!,” you pointed at Scott to ease the tension off of you.

Now he knew what that felt like.

“Alright alright, we’re together. We’re sorry you had to find out this way…” he confessed.

Damn he cracked quick...

“Baby but why did you keep it from us? You know we wouldn’t judge you for it. We’re here for you baby,” Zane said to the both of you.

“We know, we just wanted to wait for the right time to tell you,” Scott explains, looking at you.

The both of you made eye contact with each other for a little longer than a second before looking away.

“Well don’t just sit there girl, be with him baby!,” Heath scolded, and you blushed, getting up to sit on Scott’s lap.

Everyone cheered when you wrapped one arm around his neck, and he had his wrapped around your waist, pulling you into a small kiss.

Jonah was already over it and he yelled at David to continue the game.

You all laughed before Natalie spun the bottle again, resuming the game.

Scott loved how he could be closer to you now that everyone was focused on something else. He bought his lips to the spot behind your ear, getting chills from his slight touch.

“So Ilya huh?” he whispered, sounding a little jealous but he was only half-serious.

“Oh shut it, you know it’s not true,” you giggled, squishing his cheeks with one hand.

I guess finally talking about the elephant in the room wasn't as bad as you thought...

<3

[farmerlan]

Farmer Lan’s Rewatch Guide to The Untamed - Episode 16

LET THE RAAAAAIN FALL DOWWWWN - Hilary Duff

episode masterlist here

obligatory spoiler warning

Quick recap on the drama:

- Yunmeng massacre happens, we witness the tragic deaths of Jiang Fengmian and Madam Yu (RIP)

- Jiang Cheng understandably mentally melts down and throws hands with Wei Wuxian, blaming him for his hero complex causing all of this

- The trio reunites, but just briefly, for Jiang Cheng goes missing the moment Wei Wuxian leaves to buy some medicine for Jiang Yanli. Wei Wuxian returns to the Lotus Pier, where he suspects Jiang Cheng has gone in an attempt to retrieve his parents’ corpses.

- In a series of bold moves, Wen Ning earns himself the MVP title as he runs into Wei Wuxian at the Lotus Pier (Wei Wuxian now heated and distrustful towards all Wens), spikes the party punch and sneaks Jiang Cheng out, consequences be damned.

Differences from the drama:

After Madam Yu sneaks them out, Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian paddle back (with their bare hands!) the moment Zi Dian releases its hold, only to witness the corpses lining the courtyard of their former home. At this point, Wen Ning senses their presence and turns around to investigate. They quickly duck, but Wei Wuxian catches a glimpse of his face (without knowing who he is).

They never see the corpses of Jiang Fengmian and Madam Yu when they return to Lotus Pier, they only witness the conversation between Wen Chao and Wang Lingjiao that confirms their deaths. Wei Wuxian recalls that earlier that day, Jiang Fengmian and Madam Yu had quarreled right before Jiang Fengmian had left, and he wonders if Jiang Fengmian got there on time for them to meet again for the last time, whether their last words were something besides the harsh words that were exchanged earlier that day. Novel readers never quite get the closure that the drama gives with regards to their relationship.

During Jiang Cheng’s breakdown, the novel actually states that Jiang Cheng himself knew that the fault did not lie with Wei Wuxian’s actions - that it was only a matter of time before the Wen sect found some other reason to invade the Lotus Pier. But a part of him always felt that those actions acted as a catalyst - without it, perhaps the series of events would not have developed so quickly to the point of no return. IMO this is a reasonable take and I wish we got to see this narrated in the drama. I think it gives more depth to the characters’ thoughts and motivations, although with the tight pacing it makes sense that you have to trade off some parts of the narrative. Then again, he never voices this out to Wei Wuxian (the actual breakdown scene including the dialogue closely follows the novel) because he’s an emotionally constipated idiot, so does it even really matter lol.

Jiang Yanli doesn’t show up in this entire sequence of events. In fact, they never make it to Meishan. They stopped by a small town on the way as neither of them had eaten for almost two days and were emotionally and physically exhausted from all the running. Jiang Cheng disappears when Wei Wuxian runs off to get food for the two of them. The drama foreshadows this a little by causing a commotion right as the Wen guards are about to arrest Wei Wuxian (we later learn that it was Jiang Cheng giving himself up to save Wei Wuxia from arrest), and the astute viewer might catch on and suspect something, but in the novel readers are literally led to believe for the entire story that Jiang Cheng ran his stupid ass back to the Lotus Pier deliberately, only for the revelation to hit suddenly at the end.

In the drama, I found it kind of odd that Wei Wuxian was so quick to assume the worst of Wen Ning and disregard the fact that they even had some semblance of a friendship, but I chalked it up to his trauma and to his hatred of the Wen sect overall. However, this reaction makes a lot of sense in the novel, because at this point, Wei Wuxian was not familiar with either of the Wen siblings. He had once praised and encouraged Wen Ning during an archery contest at a previous sect summit (the drama pays homage to this in Episode 4), but he did not remember this until Wen Ning brought it up. So when he first ran into Wen Ning at the Lotus Pier, it was as good as running into any random Wen disciple. This is why MXTX wrote in the scene where they were spotted by Wen Ning the night before. By reminding Wei Wuxian of their interaction at the archery contest, and the fact that he hadn’t ratted him out despite the fact that he should have, Wen Ning was able to quickly gain some amount of Wei Wuxian’s trust (to be fair he really didn’t have much of a choice at that point).

[elisaphoenix13]

The Sorcerer's Cub (Ch.3)

When Stephen woke from their nap, he almost immediately jolted into a sitting position when he felt himself pressed up against Tony's side. That was usually normal and something he would enjoy for a few minutes, but he was very aware that he shouldn't be this close to Tony. There was a baby missing. A baby and his teddy bear, and it sent Stephen flying off the bed and startling Tony awake in the process. He looks around the room wildly as Tony blinks himself to further awareness and then stops when his husband reaches out and firmly grabs his wrist.

"Babe, what's going on?" Tony asks tiredly.

"Peter is missing. He wasn't on the bed when I woke up and I don't see him anywhere-"

Stephen covers his mouth with his free hand and Tony looks down at the bed where Peter had previously been. His head snaps back up to meets Stephen's worried gaze with his own and he drops the sorcerer's hand as he jumps off the bed himself and stumbles to the bedroom door. It was partway open which was a sign that Peter had left the room (and Stephen mentally kicked himself for not noticing sooner), and they pull it open all the way and lean over the railing to look down to the floor below. The sight that met them instantly had the air in their lungs coming out in a relieved woosh. Scott was dozing on the couch, but Steve was on another, drawing on a sketchpad and Bucky was on the floor with Peter. The winter soldier was laying on his side with his head propped on his flesh arm as he watched tv, and Peter sat in front of him with magnets laying around him on the floor as well as attached to Bucky's metal arm.

Tony rubs his eyes as he and Stephen descend the stairs to join them. "How long has he been down here?"

Steve looks up at him before motioning toward  the dozing thief with his pencil. "About an hour. Scott was helping him down the stairs when we came up."

Peter looks up from Bucky's arm and smiles up at his parents. "Hi Daddy!"

It was such an innocent greeting, but it was so genuine that it had both Tony and Stephen melting. "Hi baby. Are you hungry?"

"No." Peter says as he looks back to the metal arm and Bucky looks up at them while the baby goes back to sticking magnets on them with giggles.

"I made him a snack when Steve and I came up." The former soldier informs them. "Crackers, a little bit of fruit...that kind of stuff."

Stephen and Tony nod and sit on the third couch to watch tv. The snack would only tide Peter over for a little while, but Bucky could be roped into making lunch for them when he got hungry again. Dinner, Stephen thinks to himself when he notices the time. He and Tony had taken a longer nap then they had planned. It wasn't like they really needed it either. So far Peter was being a wonderfully behaved baby (he knew a tantrum would happen in the future though), and he only woke up once during the night because of the nightmare. It must have been stress for Tony and residual magical exhaustion for Stephen.

When it got closer to dinner, the team came up to the penthouse one after the other and every single one of them stopped to stare at Peter. It was followed by a suspicious glance in Stephen's direction who had to repeat himself multiple times that 'No. I didn't do that. It was alien tech.' that it was starting to wear on him. Tony thought it was hilarious and told him that they weren't exactly wrong to suspect the sorcerer since he was obsessed with baby Peter. The baby that was currently being swaddled by Levi since Bucky had gotten up just a little bit ago to start dinner.

Peter was sucking his thumb and cuddling with his teddy bear while he watched tv, and periodically glanced into the kitchen when a certain noise caught his attention. Natasha had tried to pick up the baby but Levi wasn't having it. It smacked her away until she gave up and went to sit at the island counter to sample bits of dinner. Stephen turned to a book shortly after Bucky got up and Tony grabbed a tablet.

"Mama."

Peter looks at Stephen and holds his arms out, and the sorcerer gets up to retrieve the baby with a smile. As soon as Stephen takes Peter from the cloak, Levi unfurls itself to float next to its master and the doctor smacks it away when it raises an end to fuss at the baby.

"Stop that." Stephen scolds and Levi puffs up before returning to it's usual corner in the living room to sulk.

"Aww. Share the baby Mama Bear." Natasha says with a teasing coo. 

Stephen looks at her pointedly when Peter wraps his arms around the sorcerer's neck tighter. "Even if I wanted to, I can't."

Sam raises an eyebrow from his seat at the table. "You just don't want to."

"No. I actually can't." To prove his point, he drops both arms from Peter to show how tightly the baby was gripping onto him.

Clint laughs. "Here I thought Tony was overexxagerating about needing to use a crowbar."

Tony snorts from the couch. "No. Not about that. Peter is a Mama's boy."

The elevator opens behind Stephen, and Quill enters with Cassie, Harley, and Diana. Sam grins when the adult walks over to the still dozing Scott and moves his legs long enough to sit on the couch. Scott grumbles in his sleep and rolls onto his side to face the couch and Quill pats his legs with a smirk as the kids approach Stephen to see what the sorcerer is holding. Harley bursts into laughter when he sees the baby, Cassie's eyes widen, and Diana giggles.

"When did this happen?!" Harley asks after he calms from his laughing.

"Last night." Stephen replies as Peter clings even closer to him. "You were at your friend's house and Diana stayed downstairs with Cassie."

"My boyfriend is a literal baby. I don't even want to call him my boyfriend right now because that sounds so weird." Cassie says with a wince. "How aware is he?"

"As far as we know, not at all. He's acting like a two year old." Stephen says as Sam gets up and approaches them.

"Hey kid." The man says to get the baby's attention and then points over at Quill. The space pirate was paying no attention to them, watching whatever happened to be on tv. "See that guy?"

"Uh huh." The baby confirms.

"He stole your name. His name is Peter too." Sam says with a grin.

Stephen smacks the back of his head (something Sam deemed totally worth it) when baby Peter glared as furiously as his little face could manage at Quill, and the outlaw looks up when he feels eyes on him. Sniggers echo throughout the floor at the look on Peter's face, and since Quill hadn't been paying attention, he had no idea what warranted the baby fury. He literally did nothing but sit with Scott.

"Why the hell is pipsqueak glaring at me?" The pirate asks, a little miffed.

Sam cackles. "You stole his name."

"I stole his name?! It was mine first!" 

"Are you seriously arguing about a name?" Tony asks, looking up at Quill from his tablet.

"Bird-man started it--ow! Babe..." Quill grunts out when Scott opens an eye to kick his boyfriend in the gut.

"I'm trying to catch up on sleep. Quit arguing about a name." Scott closes his eye again.

"You might as well stay up," Wanda says and Scott sighs heavily. "Dinner is ready."

Everyone gathers in the kitchen for dinner of spaghetti and meatballs, most members at the table and everyone else either at the island counter or in the living room. Harley was too distracted watching Peter try to eat for a while, but that soon lost its appeal when Stephen helped the temporary baby. Cassie was pointedly ignoring Peter for her own sanity and helping Diana with her own food, and Scott had to prop his head on one of his hands to keep himself from falling asleep in his food. Conversations were random and happened between different people and it was all uneventful...until Peter threw a meatball at Quill's head.

For a two year old, he had quite the arm and hit the pirate's forehead right smack in the middle. Scott almost chokes on his mouthful of spaghetti at the development, but says nothing as he offers his boyfriend a napkin who takes it in silence to wipe the sauce of his face. Those at the table and that had seen the meatball fiasco, bursts into hysterics, and Stephen had to stop Peter from throwing a second one.

"No. We don't throw food." The sorcerer reprimands and the baby pouts. "Now apologize to Quill. He didn't deserve that."

"No." Peter grumps and drops the meatball before taking his arm out of Stephen's grasp so he can fold his arms.

"Peter." Stephen scolds and the boy only slouches into his seat.

Quill clears his throat and puts the napkin down after getting an okay from Scott. "I guess he doesn't want to see some new magic." Peter perks up a bit and the outlaw smirks. "I mean...he's seen Mom's magic but mine? Totally different."

Stephen watches as Peter has a mental war with himself, and the curious toddler immediately wins when Quill moves to stand. Peter reaches out with sauce covered hands in an attempt to stop the bigger man from leaving and Stephen takes the opportunity to grab the filthy hands and clean them off. The baby shouts out an apology, and Quill raises an eyebrow before sitting back down and holding out one of his hands. White light swirls above his palm and big brown eyes widen as it slowly shapes into a small sphere. The pirate closes his hand around it and gives it to the baby until Tony and Stephen stop him.

"It's fine! It won't hurt him unless I want it to." Quill assures them and rolls his eyes when the couple looks at him skeptically. "I'm not that mean! I did like the kid before he was miniaturized."

Tony and Stephen return to their dinner as Quill sets the small sphere of light into the toddler's hands, unaware of the fond way that Scott was watching him.

"Why don't you keep that? As long as I'm alive or as long as you want it, it will never go out."

"Hey Porcupine?" Quill looks over at Tony when the baby thanks the Celestial, and the engineer points at the ball with his fork. "That's not going to cause any damage or hurt anyone else if he decides to throw a tantrum is it?"

"Nope. It's just holdable light for him."

"Bummer. I was thinking about taking him to one of my meetings-" Tony starts.

"Tony, stop trying to weaponize our temporarily toddler son." Stephen interrupts. "That's something Harley would do.

Said teen looks up from his dinner with an indignant look. "Hey!"

Cassie snorts. "Don't deny it."

"Yeah...okay." Harley relents.

[recentanimenews]

Some Of The Best Anime Scenes Ever Are Only A Few Seconds Long

By the time you get to the end of this sentence, another brand-new anime will have come out. True, it might be another unfinished, hilarious mess like My Sister, My Writer, but you won’t know that until you actually watch it. Before you know it, you’ll be spending your entire free time catching up on new releases instead of doing what’s really important, like re-watching Cowboy Bebop. Why don’t anime series include one short scene that could tell you instantly what the whole show is about in just a few short seconds? Well, surprise--they do, and here are the four best of them.

  *SPOILERS AHEAD*

  4. Eren’s Mother Losing Her Resolve (Attack on Titan)

  The terrifying power of Attack on Titan is that it strips its characters of their dignity. The anime is gory, true, but every death in it is made so much worse because it comes at the hands (or, more commonly, the mouths) of naked, human-eating giants that move like drunk toddlers. This way, the anime can torture its characters with primal, humiliating fear. You see this perfectly in Episode 1.

    That’s when Carla Jaeger is trapped underneath her house while a nightmare-inducing Smiling Titan approaches her. Ordering her son Eren to run and save himself, Carla tells him for the last time that she loves him, accepting her fate because she knew that at least her child was safe. Well... for like a second. She then flashes back to her family life and, through tears and desperately gagging herself with her hand, she whispers: “Don’t leave me…”

    When I got to that scene, I wanted to scream: “MA’AM! THIS WASN’T PART OF THE DEAL!” Carla was supposed to die her quiet, traumatizing death as part of Eren’s standard-issue tragic backstory. With her silent and cowardly (but very human) pleas, though, everything became so much more real. On some level, we know that characters facing death must feel fear, but we don’t like to think about it to preserve the magic of escapism. But this is precisely what Attack on Titan does.

  It doesn’t make bad stuff “cool” for us. It makes us confront every ugly aspect of it. I’m convinced that if Hajime Isayama had directed a Batman movie, he’d have made the Waynes’ last words: “I don’t want to die...” And then they’d crap their pants. Because that’s the true face of tragedy and fear, encapsulated perfectly by Carla’s three words.

  3. Whitebeard Embracing His Foolish “Son” (One Piece)

  The flashy, supersonic fights in One Piece have always been one of the anime’s biggest selling points, like the Luffy vs. Katakuri punch-up. I use it as an example mainly because, whether you read this article when it’s first published or years later, chances are that fight will probably still be going on. But, for all its action, that’s not what One Piece is ultimately about. To find out what that is, we have to look at episode 472.

  The episode takes place during Whitebeard’s attempt to rescue Ace from the Navy. It was an epic arc full of action, excitement, and plot twists, the biggest one being when Whitebeard’s subordinate Squard was tricked into betraying everyone and turned his boss into an entrée at a Brazilian steakhouse.

    After that happened, you sort of expected Whitebeard to literally break Squard in half. But then… he just hugged him. Not only that, he told him that he forgave his foolish “son” and still loved him. The Whitebeard Pirates always had this thing where the captain was called “father” and everyone else were his “sons” but you never thought it was so… literal.

    When you think about it, though, this is what One Piece has been getting at from the get-go: the power of non-biological family. Literally every major character on the show was raised by people they weren’t related to. Luffy and Ace had Dadan. Sanji had Zeff. Nami had Bell-mère and Nojiko, Tony had Dr. Hiriluk, Robin had the archeologists at the Tree of Knowledge, Franky had Tom, etc.

  Still, the message about the importance of family works best with Whitebeard and Squard. See, it’s easy to love your non-biological family members when everyone gets along and, in the case of the Straw Hats, sacrifices their life for you. It’s harder and therefore more powerful when one person unwittingly screws up, but can still know that they’re forgiven and loved. That’s just beautiful. That's One Piece.

  2. The Humanoid Typhoon’s Wounds (Trigun)

  There aren’t many western anime out there. One might almost think that Japan never had a Wild West or cowboys. But that’s just one reason to appreciate Trigun (or, to call it by its proper name: Gun Gun Gun.) The other reason, of course, is the show’s main character, Vash the Stampede, the Humanoid Typhoon, The Sixty Billion Double-Dollar Man, a gunslinger who can level entire towns… without actually killing anyone there. It’s actually nice to have an action character out there who believes in pacifism, even if it comes easy to them on account of being one of the most powerful people on the planet.

  Hey, apropos of nothing, let’s check out a random scene from Episode 13 when Meryl and Milly see Vash getting out of the shower because why not?

    Oh… dear.  That is… that is just unfortunate. I mean, he sorta looks like a Ken doll that was operated on by Sid from Toy Story while he was going through a Cronenberg phase. Even Frankenstein’s monster is recoiling at the sight of Vash’s body, from the gigantic scars to the missing arm and metal literally bolted to his flesh. But the thing is, every wound tells the story about the high price of pacifism.

  Every scar is a reminder of the time when Vash could easily have killed but ended up saving the day with his wits and acting like an idiot. Every mark is a reminder that choosing life will often carry with it a great cost. A cost that Vash paid gladly because, to him, pacifism isn’t just something he believes in when things are easy. Even in the darkest of times, he is going to be himself and stick to his principles. But he doesn’t want to bum everyone out so he ultimately diffuses the situation in a way only he can:

    THAT is Trigun.

1. Tsuyu Befriending Habuko (My Hero Academia)

  I’ve gone on record saying that I think the world of My Hero Academia is horrifying, but I mainly think so because their world is so young. Their society has accepted people with superpowers (sorry, Quirks) only very recently and although over 80% of the global population has a Quirk, it doesn’t mean they eliminated all prejudice. Just look at My Hero Academia - Training of the Dead, the second OVA that introduced the character of schoolgirl Habuko Mongoose, who has a snake head. And people are afraid of her.

    Yeah, she was a bit awkward and she could paralyze you by looking at you, but her awkwardness came from her loneliness caused by social isolation. She was so lonely that she actually started stalking one student, Tsuyu Asui, to be closer to another human. Then one day, while being followed by Habuko, Tsuyu simply turned to Voldermorticia and asked: “Do you want to be friends?”

    That’s all it took to completely change the life of this lonely girl while quickly summarizing what My Hero Academia stands for. Their world is at peace thanks to All Might, whose catchphrase is “Plus Ultra”–“Go Beyond.” This doesn’t just apply to going beyond your physical abilities and punching the villains just a little harder. It’s a philosophy that implores us to do more, to be our best selves especially in our everyday lives. That is precisely what Tsuyu did.

    She did more. She saw past Habuko’s appearance and gave her a chance. If the world of MHA is to survive, it will be thanks to people like Tsuyu, always going that extra step not just as a superhero but also as a civilian. She is the true embodiment of All Might’s words and, as such, the true heart of My Hero Academia. Let’s hear it for the show’s best girl.

  Are there any other scenes that you think sum up your favorite anime? Let us know about them in the comments!

---

Cezary writes words on the internet. Follow him on Twitter or check out his two comedy websites.

By: news+feed@crunchyroll.com

[madegeeky]

Giftening 2020: Obligatory Vote for These Post (spoiler version)

Want the non-spoilery version? Seriously, though, super spoilery for main plot points for a lot of these. Skip the ones you don’t want to know about.

Ones with * are my nominations, so you know where my biases lie. :P Ones in bold are my top pick for the categories. I did not include things that don’t need the boost (like Utena).

ANIME 

Aggretsuko - A tv show about an unassuming shy red panda woman who works in an office building and deals with the stress of it by going to karaoke and screaming out death metal. The show largely deals with her making friends with two women who she admires and a dude who likes her. The dude who likes her is actually a geniunely interesting storyline because at the end of the first season (which I’ve not seen beyond), he basically admits that he’s built this image of her in his head that isn’t real and he wants to know the real her. (Which, fuck yeah.)

Fushigi Yuugi* - This is a story about two teens who used to be friends fighting over a man which is literally the antithesis of everything Jet is. And yet, Jet watched the whole damn thing. Watch her squirm as she has to deal with that in a liveblog format. You can get a preview of some of that in Doc’s liveblog of it that she did for Jet.

NON-ANIME ANIMATED

Archer* - This is an animated parody of James Bond made for adults. It's offensive as fuck because Archer, the titular character, is a James Bond stand-in and that character can also be offensive as fuck. In fact, one thing to appreciate about this show is that all the characters are shitty, awful people and the show never attempts to excuse their shitty, awful behavior. Plus, it's one of the few shows where half the main characters are women. I am a tiny bit hesitant to rec this for a liveblog due to the offensivness however, as far as I can tell it's not popular on tumblr, and those are generally the ones that cause the most trouble so... 

Daria - The story of a misanthropic teenager, her family, and her best friend. The characters are specifically meant to appear to be tropes before slowly being unveiled as three dimensional people. It's got a dry sense of humor that I think Jet will enjoy. I actually didn't know until years after I watched this that it was a spin-off of Beavis and Butthead (which I hated) so don't let that dissuade you. 

LIVE ACTION

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend - I haven't seen past a certain point because it starts going super deep into exploring depression and that is one of my main triggers for a depressive episode, so I cannot speak of later eps. However, this show starts out funny and silly and evolves into a show exploring how toxic the main character actually is and how unhealthy her coping mechanisms are. It's amazing to see a character type whose actions are usually excused or written off as funny instead be specifically called out as being awful and toxic. (It was a Shit Show is still one of the best songs I've ever heard and Mr. Geeky and I sing it to each other whenever shit hits the fan.) 

Hannibal* - If you know of Hannibal, you know the basics premise is that of a man who eats people and is chased by the FBI. The writing in this is some of the best writing I've ever had the pleasure of seeing in a piece of media: it's subtle, smart, and trust its audience to follow along without having their hand held. However, what's really great about the TV show is that it's not afraid to do its own thing. It constantly fucks with your expectations and deconstructs and explores tropes in ways I've never seen before. I haven't seen the ending yet but I highly doubt it's going to end in a place where Silence of the Lambs will happen. The acting is fucking great and even though Anthony Hopkins gives an amazing performance as Hannibal Lector, after seeing Mads Mikkelsen play him there's no going back to Hopkins. In general, if you're looking for something original (which is ironic considering it's based on a book and there are several movies) and smart, I cannot recommend this enough. 

Russian Doll* - (Doc, please skip this one, as in 5 years when you're done with Two Storms, this is one of the things I'm considering nominating should I ever win a liveblog again.) I don't really know how to explain this show because it's so fucking weird and is so focused on character and ideas that the plot is both super simple and extremely complicated. It's a story about a woman who starts to relive the same day over and over again except, instead of the typical thing where it starts over when she falls asleep, it's only until she dies (so sometimes she lasts for hours, other times for a couple days). However, almost immediately there are signs that something else is going on, that something outside of the main character's repeating day, something has gone horribly wrong. (Count the fish.) It's a very thoughtful, character-driven show, more about exploring ideas than plot which I, personally, didn't mind at all. Another one I highly recommend overall with much less blood and gore than Hannibal.

Xena - IT'S FUCKING XENA PEOPLE! Okay, but just in case you don't know what the show is about is through cultural osmosis, Xena is a show about a woman who used to be a truly horrible murderous bitch and her continual attempts to make up for the wrongs she has done. The main relationship in the show is between Xena and her (girl)friend, Gabriel, and although the show can be ridiculously silly (time is made up and history doesn’t matter!), it also explores deep, dark issues. One of the best things this show explores is the idea of redemption and forgiveness and that perhaps nothing Xena does will ever get her those things.

LIVESTREAM

Crank* - Jason Statham plays a man who has been given a poison that slowly cuts off his adrenaline, meaning that eventually he'll die. He has to do increasingly ludicrous things to get his adrenaline pumping overtime to make up for it slowly being cut off. It's one of the most fucking bananas thing you'll ever watch but is just a bunch of fucking fun. (CW: Public sexual assault. I only mentioned because it’s a scene that last for a bit. It's a complicated scene so I won't get into it here but send an ask if you want more details.)

Dale and Tucker vs Evil* - Dale and Tucker, two hillbilly best friends, are going into the woods to fix up their vacation home when they stumble across some college kids. Random circumstances make the college kids think D&T have kidnapped their friend and so they decide they need to attack D&T to get her back. Hijinx ensue. I don't want to say much more because there's a moment that is, to this day, still one of the funniest fucking things I've ever seen, largely because I did not see it coming.

GAMES

Doki Doki Lit Club - This is a game about games. You play a guy in a dating sim. Your first playthrough everything seems normal enough. You join the literature club, meet and talk to girls, and then one of the girls commits suicide. And then game restarts and the girl who committed suicide just... doesn't exist anymore. Your replay the exact same days but it's as though she never existed. Things only get weirder from there. This game does a great job of turning dating sim tropes on their head, as well as exploring games in general. (Content warning for a lot of things. Let me know if you want more details.)

Slime Rancher (stream) - There's really not much to spoil here. You play a woman who is in charge of a ranch full of slimes. There's some messages you'll find, left by the old owner, telling story about their romance. There also some messages between you character and a deliberately gender-ambiguous significant other. And that's about the closest to story you get. Otherwise it's just catching and ranching slimes.

Subnautica* - Fucking fuck I love this game. When this game first starts it appears to be your typical survival game with no real direction other than what you want to explore. But then you find an alien structure. And you realize that your spaceship didn't randomly crash. And you find out that there's no way get off this planet except to explore deeper and deeper and find out what the aliens were doing on this planet. A genuinely beautiful story, told mostly through entries in data pads and voice messages left behind, this ending is one of the most moving ends I've ever experienced and I never ever would have expected to be able to say that about a survival game.

We Happy Few* - In this alternate universe, the Germans invaded Britain during WW2 (although, through exploring the world, you learn that the differences started well before that). When the story starts up, the Germans have left Britain behind and Britain, for unknown reasons, appears to be cut off and/or abandoned by the rest of the world. The majority of the country is constantly hopped up on a drug called Joy, which is specifically used to help them forget something horrible that happened in the past. (I have theories.) The story starts when your character goes off his Joy and gets kicked out of society. There's a general sense of unease about everything and the more you learn the more that unease grows. The art style is great and the world building fascinating.

MISC (there’s nothing spoilery here but it feels weird to not have it)

Interactive Horror Story Livestream - Doc has talked a bit about this in at least one of her Xmas streams and it sounds amazing. Not only is Jet hilarious with horror stuff but knowing Doc’s writing skill, it will be something that we’d never want to miss.

Bean Boozle When Failing a Hard Game* - I am a sadistic bitch, I admit to this, and I love watching people eat Bean Boozle, the jelly bean of horrible flavors. One of my favorite videos content creators has done is playing an incredibly difficult game and then being forced to eat a random one every time they fail. 

[wingedhumanoid-remade]

@wings-united because you’ve blocked me and I can’t reply to your messages. which is hilarious.

Oh i reallllllllllllllyyyyy am loving this. Are you actually reading um, anything im saying? Lets start with celocanths becuase you apparently didn't do any fucking research. Celocanths. dont. have. more. than. four. limbs.  Neither do any other devonian fish. I said it really slow so you'd understand. The "limbs" you are referring to is called a "limb-like appendage," heres some photos so you can grasp this concept.

See how that worked? The other fins do not even vaugly fuction as limbs, cause theyre not.  

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Limb_(anatomy) "Limbs are jointed." "one of the projecting paired appendages (such as wings) of an animal body used especially for movement and grasping but sometimes modified into sensory organs." You dont look at fish, see their fins and go "HEY the've got more than four limbs!!!!" Come on. Ok, so now that that god awful excuse of a "rebuttal" is out of the way. My earlier statement still stands (hint because its a law of evolution) How did we evolve another fully functional limb. N other species on earth at the complexity above like, an amoeba, has EVER EVOLVED A NEW LIMB. Tell me, Kah.  So why do you think avians would grow new limbs? ell me exactly how the limb developed. "Evolution doesn't get to make whole new mechanisms out of whole cloth. Note that both bats and birds had to sacrifice their hands to make wings. Evolution didn't just tack on wings. Their arms and hands gradually changed into wings. They re-used the basic existing structures and pectoral muscles. It's a hack. Evolution is always a hack." "The only mammal to successfully gain true flight are bats, and they have been diverged from the rest of the mammalian tree for 100 million years. We just have not been evolving for long enough, and more importantly we have been evolving to fill a completely different evolutionary niche than the one filled by flying animals. It is basically impossible for evolution to change trajectories so drastically on such short notice." Why would the avian ancestors  "need" wings? What sort of circumstances could occur that would drive us to need wings that are not already resolved by us having exceptional creativity and cooperation between our kind? Evolution just doesn't work the way you're looking at it - "it would be nice if we had wings, so let's evolve some".  Even if wings were needed for the survival of the species, extinction is a MUCH more likely outcome.  (hy didn't the dinosaurs ALL just become tiny, so they could survive?  It doesn't work that way.  The ones that HAD become tiny - the ones that eventually became birds - DID survive.  That's how evolution works - you don't evolve what you need, you survive IF you've evolved what you need.)

Avian ancestors did not go from "lump on back" to "wings." Cause for that to happen you need a reason to have the lumps form in the first place, and then STAY there. What purpous would having extra stuff on your back to carry around have? How would that be an evolutionary advantage? "Regeneration is literally the growth, or regrowth of limbs, and it acts on stem cells. Wing growing is a form of regeneration, but it is creating new limbs. How did the gene for those limbs evolve, thats what I'm asking.  I know what regeneration is and it only works if theres a genetic code for those limbs to appear.

"You’re right, evolution edits what’s already there. Like cells, which create and grow things" No organism has ever had evolution start randomly mutating some cells on its back to grow a new limb, or anything even close to that. "My friend. We are not birds, therefore it would be impossible for us to get a pointed face, specialized heart" HOLy shit lmao. You really don't have a grasp on evolution. Theres no. reason??? avians wouldn't  have gotten a more pointed and streamined face shape. I'm not saying avians would just fucking. grow a beak? Im saying they would have become you know, shaped like they were ment to fly?

“To think that Homo Avians (IS, not could be, IS) a thing that would  be possible is simply stupid.” I’m,, holy shit.   You’re essentially telling me that avians aren’t possible and that  i don’t exist. "

HOLY SHIT ARE YOU. Serious?

Oh my god. I'm just stating the fucking facts my dude. Taxonomy is a real thing, and one rule is that organisms with a different amount of LIMBS do not get grouped in the same genus. Sorry? Again, get it through your thick skull. Just cause I say the classification of "Homo Avian"  wouln't make sense, doesn't mean I think growing wings is imposible. How many times am I going to have to write that before you fucking understand?

Hominids are in the superclass Tetrapoda contains the "FOUR-limbed vertebrates known as tetrapods"

https://biology.stackexchange.com/questions/21772/why-dont-mammals-have-more-than-4-limbs https://www.quora.com/Why-arent-there-any-species-of-mammal-with-six-legs https://www.quora.com/Why-dont-any-mammals-have-more-than-4-limbs-Why-didnt-they-evolve-to-have-multiple-legs-or-arms-like-insects http://www.ucmp.berkeley.edu/vertebrates/tetrapods/tetraintro.html

"Adding a limb, on the other hand (no pun intended), is pretty expensive. You're not just adding a single extra part, but a whole network of additional blood vessels, bone structures, tissues, and what-have-you. These all need additional nutrients and a good set of genes to ensure they work together properly. On top of this, you also need the limb to not be a disadvantage. It needs to be in a useful place anatomically and immediately offer an advantage as soon as the extra limb mutation comes into play. These mutations can occur, but it's vastly more likely that they're a disadvantage. Take frogs, for example. It's not altogether uncommon for frogs to develop extra legs. What usually happens, though, is you end up with a frog that's clumsier and slower and packing more meat. Predators tend to like that sort of thing, so the mutated frogs don't live long enough to produce offspring so that the extra limb(s) could eventually become useful."

= OH boy. Have I been WAITING to roast Project Icarus. 1. "The group is elitist, claiming a special, exalted status for itself, its leader(s) and members" "Project Icarus is THE ONLY GROUP THAT CANG GROW WINGS, and anyone else who doesn't have the special"gene" i just made up IS TRASH AND HOPELESS"  

2. "The group has a polarized us-versus-them mentality" Do I..... even have to say it? "US vs. "The stupid dreamers." Did you see how fast your group turned against us? Immeditly going from "friends" to "I HATE YOU RETARD NONE OF YOU HAVE POTENTIAL AND CANT GROW WINGS" etc...etc...etc... I could go on.

3. “Wouldn’t it be exciting to really know the secrets of being an avian?” HOLY SHIT. THATS LITERALLY HOW PROJECT ICARUS WORKS. "We, PI, are the ONLY group who knows the SUPER SPECIAL METHOD and the real SCIENCE of growing wings. All the other group are fucking stupid." My group is exhibiting NONE of those behaviors you’ve just “quoted”.

4. "I’m 100% positive that if someone joined your group and decided that Sahde’s was more logical, you’d threaten them, hackle them, be utmost bitches. " Ooh my god... the IRONY. You mean, hackle them and be utmost bitches like.... when sahde removed me as an admin when I didn't agree with her? When she told me to leave and make my own group cause I wans't going along with your cultlike beliefs? Actually, in my group I'm encouraging you know, actually free thought? As in "we all have differing opinions on how wings are grown, and thats ok." So yeah, good try bud but we aren't going to be like PI was.

5. "You’re making everyone in the group feel guilty and terrible." WHERE LMAO. Me? Me as in IM the one going around calling my members retards and stupid cult members like a child? oh right, thats you :/. Oh and crow, whom you persuaded to go into my group, lie, and then leave after calling us all "a cult full of dreamers." yeah. ok. and then the blocking of course. i've been blocked by almost everyone, expecially you becuase you didn't want to hear what I was saying anymore. I understand blocking oliver, and I do not condone their behavior and I definitely have asked them to stop sending you and the others edgy messages. I have not sent any one of my members to go yell at anyone from PI cause I have some common decency. You can talk to them if they hurt your feewings.

As if you and Ro are some holy angelic saints who are never mean uwuwuwuwuwu. if you're felling guilt, maybe theres a reason.

6. "invites random people to attempt to grow wings who will never grow them" You mean like.......................................................... you? sahde? ro? whom have never grown wings yet and not even proven their own ""theory?""" yeah......... thats smart. remember when sahde lied abut having wings?that was fun. remember? not cult-like at all.

We don’t let in random ppl, we haven't let anyone in. All my group is made up of ex-pi members who were tired of the bullshit. I gave them the option to leave and didn't force any of them to stay.

7. "The group displays excessively zealous and unquestioning commitment to its leader" GOD this is really funny. sahde can explain this one to you, shes already gone on a rant about it before.

8. " Questioning, doubt, and dissent are discouraged or even punished." ajhsbasjdhgjaskdashkjahfjhfldsjfh

http://www.csj.org/infoserv_cult101/checklis.htm

tdlr. i could do this all day. i know you’re never going to admit “hey maybe im wrong, my theory doesn’t make sense in terms of evolution” because you think you’re so smart and are again, full of yourself.

Please. Actually acknowledge the science instead of spouting bullshit.

[nox-writings-blog]

modern, muggle headcanons

[wolfstar and jily/jegulily, 1,5523]

 Remus

oversized sweaters and button downs all day everyday

ink stained hands

collects old books - Most have torn pages and faded ink from constant rereading.

has too many half written stories all featuring the same characters he’s overly attached to (an: oh shit its actually me)

somehow always carries chocolate or knows the nearest place he can get some.

works in a book store (an: I just love this au too much ik its cliché as hell)

WELSH ACCENT

can and will fall asleep anywhere

all his clothes have rips in them or are extremely worn - not on purpose like Padfoot however (’MOONY ITS PUNK ROCK SHUT UP AND GIMME THE SCISSORS’)

enjoys the rain a lot - lucky they stay in Scotland then

Amber eyes and golden hair that lightly curls with his love of the rain (James gets jealous bc hes the ‘curly haired friend’)

always carries a notebook, of which he has wayyyyy too many

knows too many constellations which he doodles in all of his notebooks and always keeps track of the moon phases, hence the nickname

his sleep schedule is beyond screwed - probably caused by “ nope I cant sleep without reading Pads,” and then getting completely transfixed by a fictional world

always sketching people around him, he could happily sit in a café all day and draw everyone there, maybe he has an entire notebook of Padfoot sketches, maybe he does not, who knows

can’t function without coffee

very trustworthy of his friends almost too trusting, but can barely talk to a person outside of their group

almost too pale, couldn’t tan if he tried all that the sun does is give him a light dusting of freckles and chases away his beloved rain

loves living in the attic of their huge shared home (curtesy of James’ insanely large inheritance and Sirius’ uncle Alphaard) it has wooden walls and an obscene amount of plants, his favourite part is a large window on the ceiling that he enjoys climbing out especially when its drizzling when the others join him

usually the subject of Padfoot’s (favourite) polaroids

probably the only guy there that thinks of the consequences of a situation before they become a reality

the responsible one

can read & write music

pianist

Lily & Peter read all of his stories - annoyed they aren’t finished

loves animals, still pretends to be annoyed when James brings home stray dogs

gets sick constantly and secretly finds it hilarious when Sirius freaks out and acts like his nurse

Sirius

constantly painting, drawing and creating awesome art pieces

photography nerd - has a huge collection of polaroids & pinholes in his ‘dark room’ (a cupboard under the stairs that has a red light)

owns a motorbike that he is constantly repairing and is attempting to convince James to get one too “prongs we’ll look awesome c’mon do it or the aesthetic” James can’t ride a damn bicycle

always stealing Remus’ sweaters, even thought they are all about 10 sizes too big

has at least 15 leather jackets.(Wears one bc Moony got him patches for it years ago)

Long black hair that is always falling into tired grey eyes - Walburga has threatened to chop it off too many times

works in an art gallery, occasionally slips in his own work (the manager knows but she loves his work)

angsty as hell

always listening to music - preferably on vinyls  “I don’t care how expensive it is Wormtail, it sounds far better (also it’s not my credit card its my cousin Bellatrix’s so???)

Smoker (probably for the aesthetic tbh) “yeah right Moons it makes me punk rock as shit,”

wears his biker boots all day everyday

plays guitar (secretly acoustic is his favourite)

all his clothes are ripped as heck

very very protective of his friends, has given out and received his fair share of black eyes for this “its for a noble cause also it makes me look pun-”        “ Padfoot for god sake we get it you’re punk rock!”

terrible at showing negative emotions but has learned to when it comes to Prongs and Moony - he’s getting there with some of the others

obsessive in his love for dogs and is genuinely offended when Lily gets a cat, the day he found out  James bought it the word ‘betrayal’ is genuinely used, even more offended when Regulus began playing with the cats “ Sirius I'm named after a star in the LEO constellation???”

such a drama queen (speaking of Queen imagine him & Bohemian Rhapsody?)

tries to hide his aristocratic background, though his mannerisms show it off quite often

fluent in French he has a slight French accent

Lives on Tumblr (surprisingly this was never meant on this site) & Netflix

also memorises the moon phases ( just to impress Remus honestly)

makes awful puns constantly “I'm serious”       “nah I'm Sirius you’re James”         “ugh are you fucking serious”         “nah I'm fucking Moony” *atrocious wink*

ripped skinny jeans - Wormtail still calls him emo for it

James

super athletic

Loves photography claims to use the best equipment but still constantly invades Sirius’ excuse for a dark room

plays drums

somehow the only one who can cheer up Regulus instantly

only has 1 pair of glasses even though he is horrendously clumsy, Lily is assuming he is just seeing how much tape he can build up before they are entirely useless

obsessed over football - he manages a small team that he is way too enthusiastic about

still surprised Lily even talks to him “James we’ve been dating for 5 years stop being a prat”

plans out the biggest pranks and somehow manages to get everyone involved, if he doesn't they turn to shit but that's a ‘secret’ everybody knows

only shoes he actually ones are trainers & football boots “James you are not wearing Nikes to Alice and Franks bloody wedding!”

really copetitive

obsessively plays Xbox and has weekly gaming nights with everyone (Sirius always rage quits) Wormtail is the only one who is still playing with him after 30 minutes

goes on tones of unplanned road trips with Lily

tries a weird new diet practically every week, sort of a health freak

way too much house pride - his whole room is decorated red and gold

has an old pickup truck he prides too much even though he is almost needing to fix it as much as Sirius and his ancient motorbike

the ‘mom friend’ always looking after everyone

Peter

actually the only reason they don’t all eat fast food & take aways 24/7 - he’s a great cook

proof reads all of Remus’ stories for him before they get posted

works as a barista in a grunge as hell café across the road - the others always hang out there when he’s working

secretly enjoys the challenge of James’ strange dieting (gluten free+ vegan month was definitely a challenge though)

owns 2 pet rats - is scared shitless that Regulus’ pet snake is going to eat them at one point

really good at giving gifts because he’s great at listening to people

has a massive collection of hoodies for no apparent reason

always third wheeling because of Wolfstar and Jily, it’s better now that Regulus has move in though

really good at video games - occasionally lets James win because he gets too moody otherwise

bassist

only listens to indie & grunge music - secretly loves Sirius' obsession with vinyls

Lily

not super feminine but always has the latest fashion trends - usually fairly alternative (known to sport the jeans + fishnets thing that looks bomb as hell)

reads almost as much as Remus and is always hanging out in the book shop he works at

really enjoys playing football with James - finds it hilarious when he gets competitive

super long ginger hair + green eyes

loves tattoos, has handpoked a few of her own (mainly gets them done professionally, her friend Marlene is a tattoo artist) & Sirius let her do a moon on his wrist

doesn’t know that James reads all the books she talks about until she finds 3 of them hidden on his side of them wardrobe and interrogates him

super spontaneous really enjoys the constant unplanned road trips 

does a lot of digital art, usually draws characters from books most often the characters Remus will never let go of in his stories

can ride a motorbike and occasionally takes Sirius’ for a spin

just a badass tbh

everyone takes their problems to her because she somehow has a solution for everything

wants to get into interior design and when they move in she helps everyone decorate their rooms, constantly adding to their home paints a different wall every week

literally friends with everyone - nobody dislikes her and probably couldn't if they tried

has a weird skill for knitting, likely the source of 90% of Remus’ holy sweaters

obsessed with ‘retro’ things, favourite things tend to be from the 80s/90s

always helping Wormtail when he is baking, as long as she gets the first taste

an: this was just a random thing I wrote in a notebook at school, the next time we get a cover teacher I’ll probably add some secondary characters (Regulus, Alice, Frank etc)

[jippy-kandi]

Digimon Adventure tri. - Chapter 4: Loss | Thoughts

So . . . I thought it was pretty good? I did read a few spoilers and people seemed to think it was really, really bad. So maybe because I expected it to be so bad that when it wasn’t that bad, I thought it was pretty good? If I were to rank the films so far, from best to worst . . .

3 (Confession), 4 (Loss), 2 (Determination), 1 (Reunion).

I liked the opening. I didn’t particularly care for it (because my interest in Maki and Daigo is about -7), but I liked it.

Yokomon being a complete bitch to Sora because she accidentally stepped on her once . . . All the digimon were right to be cautious of the kids at first, but Yokomon acted like Sora was some axe murderer in hiding waiting to get her alone. It was just really weird and frankly felt forced (and lazy writing, just to give Sora conflict). Sora is the one who prepared all the food and made all the digimon happy . . . logically, you would think then, that out of all the digimon partners, hers would warm to her more quickly just for providing food. The other kids didn’t do anything, and yet the other digimon were more trusting of their partners. Logic fail. (And Sora tried so hard to get Yokomon to like her . . . seriously, Yokomon was written as a brick wall. So forced. I didn’t buy it.)

Tokomon warming to Takeru almost instantly was cute.

Tri. tries so hard to force the audience to like Meiko by Mimi and Sora’s sheer affection for the girl . . . and it just doesn’t work. I think Toei regrets making “Meiko”, because her merchandise really doesn’t sell. (I also think Toei initially wanted Meiko to be a “crush” for Taichi, but her underwhelming “popularity” has made them rethink that idea . . ..)

OMG I cannot get enough of the Takaishida brothers. That scene where Takeru is still hitting on his older bro is one of my favourites. XD I like this running joke. Give me more, tri.. :)

OK. The Taiorato scenes. The first scene I mostly liked. I had issues with some aspects of it (Yamato should’ve known what to do . . .), but I thought it was a good scene. It showed the dynamics between the three rather well. What I liked most (other than it being a rather intimate moment between the three), was that it was clear that Yamato was more in-tune and “aware” of Sora than Taichi was, who was completely clueless (as he always has been). It was the second Taiorato scene after that though that I really had issues with (man, Yamato’s characterisation really went down the drain, lol). But more on that in another post, ‘cause it’s very Sorato-y -- though it has to be said that you don’t have to be a Sorato shipper to have a problem with that scene . . . you just have to be able to recognise when Yamato's characterisation is “off”. Because it was.

Yamato asking if they should ask Takeru for help regarding Sora? In what world would a 17-year-old think a 14-year-old would understand a girl his age better? I generally really like tri. Takeru, but there’s a point when someone becomes too-good-to-be-true (and is almost always used as the picture of “perfection”). Takeru’s not a “perfect” person who can make any situation better, and is somehow supposed to have skills to be in-tune with girls’ emotions (that scene prior where Takeru says Meiko is a “normal” girl and accidentally offends Mimi and Hikari comes to mind). They need to tone it down a bit with the whole “Takeru is perfect” thing.

But . . . Yamato and Taichi were incredibly obtuse when it came to Sora’s problem, though. Like, incredibly. As in, forced writing. I also didn’t buy it. It would’ve been one thing if they just didn’t know how to handle Sora’s problem (although I would argue that Yamato should really be better at this than he was depicted in the film . . .), but the fact that they seemed totally clueless as to what was bothering her? I’m sorry, but when all the digimon are completely fine and then you have GIANT BITCH PIYOMON flying around, it defies logic (again) to have them be that obtuse. Weak writing is weak writing. I wish Sora had been given better material.

The scene between Daigo and Maki where he asks her if he could be her new partner . . . was so incredibly cheesy and made me laugh. It didn’t seem to fit in “Digimon”. Tri. turned into a love story between Daigo and Maki for a minute and . . . lol. It totally didn’t fit into what Digimon is. Odd scene.

I did like the reveal (albeit unoriginal) of Daigo and Maki being two of the original Chosen Children. It made them infinitely more interesting (which, because they weren’t interesting to begin with . . . just makes them OK characters now).

How incredibly odd was it for Piyomon to meet Meiko and warm up to her so quickly (A GIRL SHE JUST MET), and still be a total bitch to Sora (A GIRL WHO FED HER AND WAS NOTHING BUT KIND TO HER)??? Sora’s conflict is the core storyline of this film, and its foundation is just so weak. I know I keep repeating myself, but seriously. Some “good” came out of it (what it forces Sora to go through in the film), but it would’ve been so much better if the writers had actually attempted to come up with a logical reason for Piyomon to be a massive cunt to Sora for no particular reason (that is, a reason that isn’t forced as fuck).

Awww, Gabumon and the whole “Yamato-kun” thing was pretty cute. And Taichi’s jealously of not being called “Taichi-kun”, haha. :)

This film had so many parallel moments and homages to the first season. I quite liked the nostalgic throwbacks.

I really loved Yamato’s line, “I expect too much of [Taichi]”. So true. Taito feels, ON.

Meicoomon’s reunion with Meiko was pretty . . . weird. It just felt random (or just badly executed). And it was a bit funny with all her swipes at the air surrounding Meiko’s head (which is not the desired reaction, lol).

LMAO at Sora throwing rocks at “Gennai”. Also he used Meicoomon to boob-punch her . . . I know I shouldn’t find this funny, but I do. XD Funny in a am-I-really-seeing-this-over-the-top-shit-in-a-Digimon-series-way!?

Continuing with the inappropriateness . . . I also found it funny when he licked her. It just totally took me “out” of the whole film, like a jump-the-shark moment. “This . . . is Digimon?!” It was so weird and totally didn’t fit in with what you should expect to see in a Digimon series. I think the tri. writers were trying to be “risque” but instead it just made me think tri. really needed a better writing staff who knew how to keep to a tone. XD; (Also, Sora’s complete lack of reaction to the lick made it even weirder. Girl, some man who wasn’t Yamato just LICKED YOUR FACE. Please react to it to show that it was shocking/uncomfortable/disgusting for you. Again, tri. writers being incompetent, because Sora really should have given some reaction to it. A simple sound of disgust would’ve worked, to at least acknowledge that it was STRANGE. Sora took that lick almost like she gets licked every day by strangers -- and is pretty content to be licked. Her non-reaction was weirder than the lick itself.)

The scene was also getting to look pretty rape-y with him being on top of her for so long . . . and sorry-not-sorry, but get that shit out of Digimon. That shit stays in fanfiction for a reason. STOP BEING A FANFIC, TRI..

Sora pushes “Gennai” off her and he just goes down? Lol. How weak is this dude. Also, it was just weird to see “Gennai” act like a creepy dude. Again, it really didn’t fit what Digimon is.

LMAO at when Plotmon “puppy howls” at “Gennai” and everyone just runs. XD Was it supposed to be funny? XD THAT was their getaway??? XD (But Plotmon is cute as fuck. I want one. :3)

So after Sora tries to protect Piyomon . . . Piyomon decides to remove the giant stick up her arse and recognise how kind Sora has been ALL ALONG. Wow. Random, abrupt resolution there. WHAT IS THIS WEAK WRITING. Piyomon’s entire attitude changes in a blink of an eye. If you don’t have an issue with this, your standards are way too low when it comes to good writing and storytelling. Don’t get me wrong, I love how Sora got to shine and everything, but I wish the writers had backed it up with actual good writing. It really isn’t hard to get Piyomon to be weary of Sora without being an outright, illogical bitch.

OMG, the moment Jou charges at “Gennai”? HOW FUCKING GLORIOUS. It both shocked me and made me love Jou a lot, hahaha. GO HERO JOU!

Yamato can throw Gabumon into the air in water . . . DO YOU EVEN LIFT, BRO!? Apparently, he does. XD

Also, a tri. film where Taichi is in-character and I actually love him? Here, have bonus points, “Loss”. I loved all of Taichi’s interactions with Yamato in this film. Go Taito, go. But . . . that whole part where Taichi and Yamato were underwater and trying to go up for air? It made me laugh so hard. Partly because of the poor animation, but also just because . . . the entire thing was hilarious hahaha. It shouldn’t be, because they could’ve drowned, but . . . XD

Um . . . Machinedramon throwing Sora around – and especially AGAINST A CLIFF – really should have killed her. WTF. Yamato, you’re gonna end up with a woman who cannot die. Be prepared, son.

Sora literally clings to life because she wants to make meatballs for Piyomon again . . . LOL. Phoenixmon was born from a mutual love of meatballs. (OK, I’m just taking the piss. :P)

Why would Phoenixmon let Sora fall off of her without trying to swoop down to catch her? Weird. Also, Jou catching Sora was awesome, but again, totally defies logic that Sora didn’t crush his bones completely upon impact and killed both of them. :P And wouldn’t it have been awesome if Yamato and Taichi had joined them sooner so that Yamato could’ve caught Sora in his arms instead? *cough* (Jou was totally amazing in this film though. THE UNSUNG HERO.)

Patamon’s evolution to his Mega form was too random and easy, like they just wanted to get it over and done with and just stuck it in at the last minute. I personally don’t care that it was too easy, but it was. :P

The film’s ending made me interested in where the plot goes . . . and that’s a good thing!

Overall . . . I thought the film was pretty good, despite its weaknesses. If I seemed too critical for a film that I rank the second best so far in the tri. series, it’s because I really hate giant leaps in logic and poor writing. My criticism of this film basically boils down to the Sora/Piyomon conflict being entirely forced, and for having a few moments that really didn’t fit into Digimon at all.

The strength of this film though is its “action” and pacing, which makes it better than the first and second film. The first film was dull, even with good character interactions – its pacing was too slow. And the second film, though enjoyable, really was just filler. And I did like Sora’s character journey in this fourth film -- I just wish it had been for a better reason than Piyomon being a you-know-what. But Sora was amazing throughout this film and I love her. :P

Can the fifth and sixth film top this? I really hope so. I want to be able to look back on the entire series and think that it was good. That would be great, tri.. Do your best, please. ;)

[viralhottopics]

6 Hilariously Improbable Events That Resulted In Huge Movies

Hey, remember that Final Destination franchise from all the way back in 2011? You know, it’s the one where a clowder of hapless teens get hunted by Death through a series of overly elaborate, Rube Goldberg-style horrors. Well, it turns out that sometimes this same over-the-top domino effect can be applied to how films get made (including Final Destination, which started as an X-Files spec script). A butterfly flaps its wings in Beijing, and Jeff Goldblum ends up shirtless on a table in Hollywood, basically.

Some films end up creating a gigantic ripple of success and artistic inspiration … all from a single unassuming start. Here are such times when the road to the cinematic immortality was paved with random nobodies, stupid coincidences, and just plain dumb luck…

6

The Alien Franchise Exists Because Of Literal Nightmares

From the creature design to the directing, the first Alien has always been a poster child for the unspeakable horrors you can accomplish through collaborative effort. With that in mind, none of it would have been possible without writers Dan O’Bannon and Ronald Shusett first coming up with the story. They are the face-huggers to Alien‘s uh… alien. This was O’Bannon’s second film as a screenwriter, one that would have never existed without the frustrating failure of his first.

Dark Star was a John Carpenter sci-fi comedy about people exploding planets in space, and O’Bannon hadn’t simply written it, but also designed and supervised the special effects. It was this (not his writing) that got the attention of weirdo director Alejandro Jodorowsky, who at the time was working on an ultimately shelved Dune film. O’Bannon was brought on Dune‘s production where he met a creepy Swiss artist working on the film’s set and character design. His name was H.R. Giger, and you might find his work on Dune a bit familiar.

To put this guy in perspective — upon their initial introduction, H.R. Giger immediately offered O’Bannon opium. And when asked why he himself took it, Giger bleakly responded “I am afraid of my visions.” If Werner Herzog had night terrors, it would be personified in H.R. Giger’s ghastly Scandinavian gaze. His paintings are what Satan uses to get an erection.

Dune was sci-fi failure #2, and after production was closed down O’Bannon found himself running out of work, and consequently money (which is commonly a thing you get in exchange for work). In what was no doubt an act of pre-hooking desperation, he and Shusett dug up yet another old failure — a story about monsters attacking a WWII bomber (which later became a segment in the 1981 animated “film” Heavy Metal — a series of events we’ve previously discussed).

Like some kind of mad scientist, O’Bannon spliced this story with another failed horror script about bug monsters, added a re-written scene from Dark Star, and somehow churned out Alien. Meanwhile, H.R. Giger was developing a terrifying artistic portfolio based on his childhood nightmares — one example being a painting called “Necronom IV.”

That’s one of two nightmares that will come into play, this first fruition appearing in an H.R. Giger art book that O’Bannon gave to Ridley Scott while developing Alien. Nightmare number two came from Shusett who, after a day of writing, woke up in the middle of the night with the idea that the alien could impregnate a crew member through their throat — meaning that nearly every aspect of these creatures was quite literally the stuff of nightmares.

5

You Can Thank The 2003 California Gubernatorial Recall Election For HBO’s Westworld

In the early 2000s, California underwent an energy crisis, presumably after everyone left their tanning bed on overnight. As bills tripled and the anger grew, a representative named Darrell Issa donated two million dollars to a small group collecting signatures for a gubernatorial recall. It was this money that boosted their efforts in a historic moment for the United States: a new Westworld TV show.

We should probably explain.

HBO “Yes, please. I don’t know what the fuck’s going on in this show.” — Anthony Hopkins

See, after successfully reaching enough signatures, it was the actually historic recall of Governor Gray Davis that sparked one of the weirdest elections ever — eventually boiling down to this veiny cup of whatever Austrians drink instead of water:

Playboy And by “ever” we mean “before 2016,” of course.

Arnold Schwarzenegger threw his hat into the governor ring and came out with a whopping 48.6 percent of the vote. This was in October of 2003, and along with shaping the future of California, it panicked a butt-ton of producers who had previously attached the hulky destroyer to upcoming films. One such producer was Jerry Weintraub, who had cast Arnold as the Yul Brynner role in an upcoming remake of that enduring ’70s sci-fi cowboy classic, Westworld. As we’re sure you can guess, this did not end up happening, and the project was shelved indefinitely — or in producer-speak, “until someone big enough shows interest in it.” That took two years.

Variety “We’ll begin shooting in 2008 with Heath Ledger, Bernie Mac, Anna Nicole Smith, and President Gerald Ford.”

In 2005, Weintraub once again set his sights on this ridiculous film — this time with the director of The Cell attached. This, unsurprisingly, did not make Westworld the exciting filmmaking opportunity that studios were scrambling over, and so Jerry moved on to another project while letting his baby degrade on the back burner. That project was a little TV movie about Liberace starring Michael Douglas, Matt Damon, and Matt Damon’s glittery thong.

In the biggest plot twist yet, the HBO-made Douglas/Damon smooch-fest was a hit… causing Weintraub to turn to the network for a Westworld series. The rest is excessively naked history. And hey, Schwarzenegger is finally available now, so maybe they can throw him a bone and cast him as a background extra or something.

4

We Wouldn’t Have The Entire Marvel Cinematic Universe If It Wasn’t For Superman: The Movie

It turns out a DC Comics movie is responsible for Marvel’s current cinematic dominance, but not in the way you’re probably thinking. This long goddamn journey starts with a producer named Lauren Shuler Donner, whose husband you might recognize as Richard Donner — director of such insanely diverse hits as The Goonies, The Omen, and of course, 1978’s Superman: The Movie.

Superman was a hit, but this didn’t instantly result in every single over-pantsed defender getting his own movie — remember, it would take over a decade for even Batman to get one. However, the Donner flick did nab the attention of a five-year-old named Kevin who, like five-year-olds tend to do, became enamored with this genre of mighty punchers. His fandom eventually turned into a job at the Donners’ Company as Lauren’s assistant. As she puts it, “one of the main reasons Kevin managed to get himself an intern position at our company was because of Superman: The Movie, [that freaking nerd].”

Lauren went on to make a few disaster films, like Volcano and the harrowing You’ve Got Mail, before becoming inspired by her husband’s action background and buying the rights to the X-Men franchise in 1994. Feeling his intense ray of nerdiness, she gave her then-assistant Kevin a producing role on the first X-film, where he instantly became “a walking encyclopedia of Marvel.” Usually that just makes you very good at internet message board arguments, but in Kevin’s case, it led him to this:

That’s right. It’s Kevin Feige — not Bacon as you were all no doubt guessing. Having been inspired by that first Superman film, Feige beelined directly to the Donners before getting thrown into X-Men and scooped up by Marvel. It was there that he continued to read an endless number of comics and work closely with directors making Spider-Man, X2, and Daredevil until 2005, when Marvel decided to make their own studio. In 2007, Kevin was named the chief of that studio and began to develop what would go on to be this jumbled mess of media:

The Marvel Cinematic Universe gave way to an entirely new method for making movies, now being applied to Star Wars, Lego, and even the goddamn The Mummy. It’s completely changed franchises and made a once-bankrupt Marvel Studios the hottest goddamn game in town… all ironically thanks to a fucking DC Comics movie. Thanks a bunch, you sulky jerks!

3

A Mailing Error By A Fresno Librarian Kicked Off The “Brat Pack” Era

All you Val-speaking, Atari-playing, AIDS-epidemic-ignoring ’80s kids no doubt perk up at the mention of the “Brat Pack,” but in case you’re scratching your supple 20-something heads, we’re referring to a group of young actors who swarmed Hollywood around the early 1980s. Luminaries like Rob Lowe, Tom Cruise, Demi Moore, and all those The Breakfast Club motherfuckers were birthed from this era. The phrase “Brat Pack” was coined in a New York article, and became the soil in which a lot of pretty careers were cultivated.

Also, it was started by this lady:

Her name is Jo Ellen Misakian, and back in 1972 she was hired as a librarian aide at the Lone Star School in Fresno, California. While there, she noticed that the naturally reading-averse students all loved the same book, so she helped them start a petition to turn it into a movie. After attempting (and failing) to contact the author, Jo Ellen decided to just take a shot in the dark and mail the book to a known director instead. The book, by the way, was The Outsiders — the basis for the very first of the Brat Pack films, which kicked off the stellar careers of actors like Cruise, Lowe, Emilio Estevez, Patrick Swayze, Matt Dillon, Ralph Macchio, that other guy, and that other other guy.

And this never would have existed as a film if it wasn’t for Mrs. Misakian, her plucky kid pals, and the fact that she totally fucked up mailing their petition.

You see, after deciding Francis Ford Coppola should direct the movie, Misakian found his New York address in the reference section of the Fresno library and mailed a copy of the petition there — but Coppola was living in Los Angeles at the time. The New York address was outdated and unused… and, consequently, got very little mail. However, it just so happened that Coppola was in New York that week, and was able to personally see the letter for that reason.

According to a producer there at the time, “It was lucky for the kids that we were in New York when it was sent over.” Eventually, Coppola read the attached book, optioned it, and then began production on the film, all while maintaining a correspondence with the librarian who first sent it to him.

In the end, the film was attributed to Misakian and her class — the closing credits saying, “The film The Outsiders is dedicated to the people who first suggested that it be made — librarian Jo Ellen Misakian and the students of The Lone Star School in Fresno, California.” The Brat Pack was born, and like a thousand careers started… all because a librarian sucked at tracking down someone’s more-current address.

2

Jurassic World And The New Star Wars Got Their Director From A Silly ’90s Magazine Ad

After culturally blue-balling us with talking raptors, the Jurassic Park franchise re-exploded the box office with Jurassic World‘s $1.6 billion dollars in ticket sales. World will go on to get a sequel (obviously), and the director is now working on Episode IX of Star Wars. And oddly enough, it was back in the decade when the first Jurassic Park became a hit (and we all thought Star Wars prequels would be, like, the raddest shit ever) that an author named John Silveira was inadvertently shaping all these events, like a secret John Hammond.

Back in the ’90s, Silveira would occasionally submit content for Backwoods Home Magazine. His job was to fill in gaps of the magazine’s classified section with whatever joke bullshit that came into his head. It was a fun gig with a specific and sparse readership, by definition.

Then, one day in 1997, Silveira was asked to contribute right before a deadline (what kind of backwoods magazi– oh, right). Without any prepared jokes, he remembered the opening lines to an old unfinished novel he had been working on years back. With the clock ticking, John spun the words into a fake classified ad and submitted the following:

Yes. That ad. Silveira had created what would later become a meme that would inspire Colin Trevorrow to make an indie film called Safety Not Guaranteed, about a dude looking for a time-travel partner. Not long after, director Brad Bird was being approached by Disney and Lucasfilm to direct the next Star Wars film — and in turning it down for Tomorrowland (yikes), Bird recommended they watch Trevorrow’s little movie.

In short, two major sci-fi franchises ended up being completely dependent on an indie comedy director who was inspired by some joke-writing weirdo in Southern California. And speaking of stuff Spielberg once touched…

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Like Schindler’s List And The Coen Brothers? You Can Thank The Evil Dead For That

It’s not exactly controversial to say that the Coen Brothers are two of the most influential and iconic directors of this era. We also probably won’t get any hate mail for praising Liam Neeson’s performance in Schindler’s List, or really any of his subsequent roles. What will sound insane, however, is that all of these things are of direct result of the 1981 horror film The Evil Dead. You know, the one where a woman gets fucked by trees before turning into a Kandarian basement demon.

It was on this film that a young Joel Coen was working as an assistant editor while trying to make his debut with a script he co-wrote with his brother. While there, director Sam Raimi convinced the Coens to shoot a fake trailer for their script, which subsequently led to them finding investors for the movie — eventually called Blood Simple. You might recognize this as the pivotal moment leading to decades of amazing films like The Big Lebowski, No Country For Old Men, The Hudsucker Proxy, and certainly not Garfield (common mistake).

Meanwhile, while casting Blood Simple, the brothers went to see a play called Crimes Of The Heart. It featured Holly Hunter, who they immediately wanted to cast… but couldn’t, for scheduling reasons. However, Hunter went home from the audition and mentioned the film to her roommate: Frances McDormand. Frances, of course, would go on to kick ass in the role, marry Joel Coen, and play one of the most badass baby-ovens to ever point a gun at Peter Stormare.

And it gets weirder. Because while Holly didn’t get the role in Blood Simple, she would later move into a Silverlake home with both Coen brothers, McDormand, and Raimi — who at the time was writing Evil Dead II on the porch. Cut to a few years later, and a young actor named Bill Paxton got a phone call from his friend James Cameron asking if he had heard of Evil Dead II. When Paxton said no, Mr. Titanic rushed him to a local showing, as any loyal friend would. After falling in love with Raimi’s slapstick horror style, B-Pax auditioned for the director’s follow-up, Darkman. You with us so far?

According to Paxton (who later worked with Raimi on A Simple Plan), while he got super close to landing the role, he “made the mistake” of informing another friend about the movie as well. It was Liam Neeson.

Neeson got the role and killed it as the titular rubber-faced rage goon in Darkman, which was then seen by a stage actress named Natasha Richardson. At the time, Richardson was putting together a production of Anna Christie, and thanks to Darkman, she pursued Neeson to play a role. Not only would his performance in the show end in a marriage with Richardson, but it would grab the attention of a director in the audience… who at the time was casting an upcoming film called Schindler‘s Fucking List.

YEP. Liam Neeson’s entire career exploded because Bill Paxton was dragged to a screening of Evil Dead II and fell in love. Consider this yet another reason he’s going to be deeply missed. RIP, you ultimate badass.

David is an editor and columnist for Cracked. Please direct all your goddamn “hellos” to his Twitter account.

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