#and the other half of songs i want aren't even on spotify

[pareidolla]

finally getting around to making a vot broken playlist cos i wanted smth to play while i draw ♡ but my favorite song for him (valley of the dolls) was made unavailable and i just. i can't even be mad i think inflicting suffering 'pon me was the funniest thing that could've happened here

[redstrewn]

for some reason all the fictophilia playlists are depressing as hell 🤨 so i made a not depressed one bc having an imagination is bomb. only 5 songs rn but drop some if u know more

[foone]

weird thought: I think if I was a teenager now (or anytime in the last decade or so) I think I would have written (and read!) a lot more fanfic than I did in reality, where I was a teenager in the 90s.

See, I've never been hugely into fanfic. Never had anything against it exactly, but it just wasn't something I was into. But I think that has to do with an interesting combination of how my brain works and what time I was first really getting into being a fan.

I've got a "librarian" brain (I'm literally typing this from within a library, WHERE I WORK). It wants to know things like "what are all the works in this series/by this creator?" and "are they all accessible?" and "what info is available about how it was made?"

I'm the kind of person who will watch a show then go look it up on wikipedia to see how many seasons it has, who made it, if they're still making it, check tvtropes for any more info, etc. Or I hear a song I like by a band I've never heard of, so I go listen to their entire discography while researching them. I just focus on things I'm into that way, you know? I don't half-ass my interest. (this is probably related to my autism, of course)

So what does this have to do with fanfic? like, do I go read some fanfics as part of this process? No, and I think the reason for it is when I specifically first got into fandom, as a teen.

See, this sort of fandom-librarian was harder to do in 1997, you know? You couldn't just pull up the wikipedia for that new show and see how many episodes it had. You also couldn't just listen to the whole discography of that band! Forget Spotify or Google Music, even Napster didn't exist yet.

So my interest in fandom focused a lot more on very basic questions: How many episodes/albums/books/whatever are there? Where can I see/hear them all? Like, I remember getting excited because I found some fan magazine that had a list of all the Star Trek: The Next Generation episodes. Just a list! Not even descriptions or anything. I finally could take that list and see how many I'd seen, so I'd know when I saw them all in late-night reruns.

So I'm focusing on these very basic parts of being a fandom-librarian and I stumble across some fanfic. I'm like "oh, is this a transcript of an episode I haven't seen yet?" and I realize it's not, it's a story written by a fan, and I get a knee-jerk reaction of "that's not helpful to my quest to know and find all the episodes". It's like I am on a quest for the holy grail and I found a fake cup. It's not helpful to me, and at worst it's a distraction from my goal.

And the thing is, I think the fact I had that reaction is entirely due to the time and situation in which I first encountered fanfic. It was in that environment of "I can't even find a list of the episodes, let alone a way to watch them all!" and that anxiety that colored my response to finding fanfic.

I think if I instead was first introduced to fanfic NOW, where those fandom-librarian drives aren't so difficult to fulfill, I'd be way more positive about fanfic. If I could get a list of episodes with a quick google search, and watch them easily on netflix/prime/whatever, I'd be less "THIS DOESN'T HELP! I AM STRUGGLING WITH THE BASICS HERE!" and more "yay, more content for the fandom I'm obsessed with!"

Like I said, I'm not anti-fanfic, I never have been, I just never got into it. From the beginning I had this reaction that was "this is not useful" and I never developed any real interest in it. Which is a shame, honestly. Fanfic is great. It just never became one of my interests, and while I've written it and read it from time to time, I imagine I'd be way more into it if I didn't have the weird reaction to it due to the worries of the time in which I first encountered it.

I don't know how many other people have brains that work anything like mine, but if they exist, I'm glad they're now growing up in a world where they won't have these problems. They can get into fanfic without this weird baggage caused by a lack of information.

[a-m-w-worlds]

SSO Theory: The Secret Behind the Masks

"It looked like a mask. One of those old wooden ones with holes for the eyes." (Excerpt from Shari's Mask.)

The Miscreants might be the most famous mask-wearers in Jorvik, but have you noticed they aren't the only ones? The Miscreants, Xin, the Vala, Shari, even Pi in The Legend Awakens, so what's the deal with all these wooden masks?

I have a theory!

The only common denominator I can find between all these characters is neutrality. Not good, not evil, something in-between the two. Let's start with Shari, who is first mentioned in the Soul Riders short story collection Ghost Stories from Jorvik., in Alex's story, Shari's Mask. We don't learn much about Shari other than that she is referred to as a goddess and wears the Miscreant mask, as seen on the book's back cover and other illustrations.

According to the About section of the Miscreants page on Spotify the Miscreants styled the masks they wear after one found in a thrift store that likely either belonged to Shari or one of her followers.

The Miscreants are shown to be neutral troublemakers, in no way evil, but not saints either, also equally liked by Soul Riders AND Dark Riders. (Their song Face in the Crowd is used as Sabine's theme and Lisa has a Miscreants poster and replica mask in her bedroom.) Similarly, the Vala, Pi, and Xin (through Ydris) have all been shown to be our enemies AND allies at different points in time, and all seem to have agendas separate from the battle between good and evil.

Xin is an odd case; we know very little about him, although I assume he is Pandorian in origin like Ydris and Zee. The way Ydris refers to Xin's mask is interesting and definitely makes me think it has some greater significance.

In the questline where we're trying to save Concorde from the circus, we also have this little exchange between Linda and Evergray. (Pardon crusty Linda!/lh)

I feel this strengthens the case for Xin being Pandorian.

Now for the witches!

And yes, I do mean witches generally, not just the Vala!

In the second Soul Riders book, The Legend Awakens, Pi is described as wearing wooden masks also! This is an excerpt from Pi's introduction.

"She emerged from the darkness. The darkness sent her to them. All they could see was a figure shrouded in shadows, dressed in a dark cloak with something in front of its face. A wooden mask? The mask was glowing pink, with almost luminescent letters. Anne gasped as she felt the Pandoria sickness wash over her, sticky and pink. She recognized those letters."

Thanks to Sive in the Storms Over Devil's Gap questline we know the masks have some power beyond just cool aesthetics.

I find it interesting that these masks are always specified to be "wooden" either by verbally being referred to as such or in their design.

This makes me wonder if the masks are perhaps made from the wood of Primeval Tress. We know Lisa was able to communicate with the Sleeping Widow while in Pandoria and it was explained the Primeval Tree's roots reach to Pandoria. Dialogue from the One of Our Witches questline also states that witches and Primeval Trees do sometimes form alliances, making this theory even more credible in my opinion.

This same questline also gives us this bit of dialogue.

I find myself wondering if Pi's masks specifically came from a corrupted Primeval Tree. Anne's reaction to it and the fact that Pi's is the only mask to glow pink suggests a stronger Pandorian connection than the Vala masks. Pi in The Legend Awakens is also described very differently from her in-game counterpart. (Since this depiction is more current, I'm considering it the canon version. I want her to be updated in-game so bad!) She's described as having feet like rough tree roots and hands that are half claw, half atrophied wood. Maybe using masks made from corrupted trees corrupts the wearer as well?

For the last part of my theory, we're going to circle back to Shari for a minute.

In Shari's Mask it's revealed that Shari is searching for her missing horse who was taken from her, which I believe to be the Laverna, who is also a mask-wearing trickster. Here's Laverna's in-game description.

"The veil between worlds grows thin around Halloween, allowing spirits to travel to other planes. Laverna was one of these, though no one knows when she first crossed over.

When she arrived on Jorvik she was a mere wisp and a mask. But Laverna is a powerful soul, and before long she created a solid body in the shape of a creature she saw around Jorvik that was suitable for her interests. Disguised as a horse, she got up to all kinds of mischief, preferring the "trick" in "trick or treat."

Laverna fashioned her body after an American Paint Horse; she likes the splashy colors even when concealing her magical coat and mask. She employs nighttime and shadow as cover for thievery. Mischief is her entertainment, so be prepared to keep an eye on her!"

The line "though no one knows when she first crossed over" seems to imply that Laverna is quite an ancient spirit. When Alex meets some of Shari's hypnotized followers in Jorvik City they describe Shari as "the goddess, the deceiver, the rebel, the legend", which is in line with Laverna's mischievousness and the Miscreant's rebelliousness. Shari is described as wearing black robes and not having a face, only the mask. And if Shari can be referred to as a goddess, I would imagine that she's also a very old being. The only other character that's ever been called a goddess is Aideen, so here's my thinking.

Aideen and Garnok are both treated as deities with their own missions and followers, what's interesting though is that while witches and Pandorians (the primary mask-wearers) acknowledge both as powerful beings, they don't seem to worship either. Aideen seems to be a goddess of Jorvik, and we know Garnok is not from Pandoria, merely trapped there. My theory is that witches and Pandorians are followers of Shari, who I believe to be a Pandorian goddess, more specifically a trickster goddess, who is unaligned to good or evil and acts only in the best interest of herself and her followers, the masks symbolizing their neutrality. Mask=ambiguity=neutrality.

The only thing that gives me pause about Laverna being Shari's horse is that Gabby (one of the hypnotized followers) calls Shari's horse Solomi (no clue if I spelled that right, I only have the audiobook version of the story). But it's possible that this is either a discrepancy or Solomi is the horse's real name and Laverna is the name given to her by Jorvegians who didn't know her real name.

So, am I onto something?

Thank you for reading my insane wooden mask deep dive!/gen

[hanakoofthejungle]

HuskerDust Sinatra playlist (to be updated)

Given Husk and Angel's time when they were alive, Sinatra's songs would no doubt fall into their mutual category of favorites. I believe Angel would very much like Sinatra's crooning considering Sinatra's melancholy voice, him being also Italian and having alleged connection to the Italian mob. Husk spent so much time in casinos so surely he knew all of these songs like the back of his hand.

Below are the songs that I find would fit well into their inner thoughts and stages of their relationship. When Sinatra sang, he didn't just sing a song, he was telling us something from his heart which I imagine is what Husk wanted to say to Angel and vice versa (and there are duets :))). You will see that Husk was allocated more songs than Angel. This is because I firmly believe Husk is the more sappy and sentimental one in the relationship.

Who knows :)) these songs might inspire some fanfictions. Whatever you imagine, Sinatra can provide :)))

One song might have different version sung by Sinatra. The ones listed here are the most fitting in my opinion. These are all youtube links because some came from nice musical films/music shows and some aren't available on spotify.

The pining stage (sprinkled with some self-loathing/insecurity in case they didn't think their feelings were mutual)

Husk

These Foolish Things (Remind Me of You)

These foolish things remind me of you You came you saw you conquer'd me When you did that to me I knew somehow this had to be

It could Happen to You

All I did was wonder How your arms would be And it happened to me

Half As Lovely (Twice As True) (or Husk's insecurity about himself being just a washed-up drunk while Angel could have anyone he wants, also mention of Angel's facade. This is the perfect song :))))

I'm only one of those who thinks of you and sighs, Just another who knows your laughter and lies. I wish that you were someone who was half as lovely, twice as true. I love you, I love you, too much it seems, for any fool can see, With your heart so crowded with other dreams, how can you dream of me?

Bewitched

I'm wild again, beguiled again A simpering, whimpering child again Bewitched, bothered, and bewildered am I Couldn't sleep, wouldn't sleep Then love came and told me I shouldn't sleep Bewitched, bothered, and bewildered am I Lost my heart, but what of it?

Angel

I Don't Know Why (I Just Do)

You never seem to want my romancing The only time you hold me Is when we're dancing I don't know why I love you like I do I don't know why, but I do

I fall in love too easily (This fits Angel so well)

I fall in love too easily, I fall in love too fast I fall in love too terribly hard, for love to ever last My heart should be well schooled, 'cause I've been fooled in the past And still I fall in love too easily, I fall in love too fast

Glad to be unhappy

Unrequited love's a bore And I've got it pretty bad But for someone you adore It's a pleasure to be sad

Prisoner of Love

Alone from night to night You'll find me too weak to break the chains that bind me. I need no shackles to remind me, I'm just a prisoner of love.

The confessing stage

Husk

Zing! Went The Strings Of My Heart

Dear when you smiled at me I heard a melody It haunted me from the start Something inside of me, started a symphony Zing! Went the strings of my heart

Then Suddenly Love (I can imagine Angel kick the door open :)))

I never heard bluebirds, the songs that they sing, I never get crazy, not even in spring, Then suddenly love struck me like lightning, Love it blew up a storm, Love suddenly grabbed me, and ooh, was it cozy and warm 'Cause I found you, now I no longer just exist, Ooh, what a change, it started from the time we kissed

Angel

I Get a Kick out of You

Some they may go for a cocaine I'm sure that if I took even one sniff It would bore me terrifically too Yet I get a kick out of you

I've Never been in Love before

I'm full of foolish songs And out my song must pour So please forgive this helpless haze I'm in I've really never been in love before

Husk and Angel

You're Awful (A silly duet confession of love :)))

Husk: Those words that everyone knows But my thoughts gets mangled, And all the words get tangled, But since you asked me, here goes: You're awful, awful good to look at, Awful nice to be with, awful sweet to have and hold. You're nothing, nothing if not lovely, Nothing if not dazzling, nothing but pure gold, You're frightening, frightening me when you say That you might go away, You're boring, boring into my heart to stay. You're cheap, dear, cheap at any price, dear, Cheap for such a diamond, Cheap for such a pearl, What I said before, I'll say again, You're awful, awful nice to be my girl. Angel: You're old, dear, old with worldly wisdom, Old like Gorgonzola, old like finest French champagne, You're so-so, so-so, so-so kinda charming, So-so kind of witty, so I can't explain, Husk: Can't stand you, I can't stand you giving some fellow the eye, Can't stand you in the arms of another guy, Who needs you? Need you to distraction, Need you too this crazy, need you rain or shine, Both: I'm the one who needs you, And I think you're awful, awful nice to say you're mine.

The dating/domestic bliss stage (sprinkled with some angst/couple fights)

Husk

[How Little It Matters] How Little We Know

Who cares to define what chemistry this is? Who cares, with your lips on mine, how ignorant bliss is? So long as you kiss me, and the world around us shatters, How little it matters, how little we know.

I Could Write A Book

If they ask me, I could write a book About the way you walk and whisper and look I could write a preface on how we met So the world would never forget And the simple secret of the plot Is just to tell them that I love you a lot Then the world discovers as my book ends How to make two lovers of friends

That Old Black Magic

Those icy fingers up and down my spine The same old witchcraft when your eyes meet mine The same old tingle that I feel inside And then that elevator starts its ride And down and down, I go 'Round and 'round, I go Like a leaf that's caught in the tide

Too Marvelous for Words

You're much, too much, and just too very very To ever be in Webster's dictionary And so I'm borrowing a love song from the birds To tell you that you're marvelous Too marvelous for words

Polka Dots And Moonbeams

In my frightened arms, polka dots and moonbeams Sparkled on a pug-nosed dream There were questions in the eyes of other dancers As we floated over the floor There were questions but my heart knew all the answers And perhaps a few things more Now in a cottage built of lilacs and laughter I know the meaning of the words? Ever after? And I'll always see polka dots and moonbeams When I kiss the pug-nosed dream

Witchcraft

'Cause it's witchcraft, wicked witchcraft And although, I know, it's strictly taboo When you arouse the need in my My heart says yes indeed in me Proceed with what your leading me to It's such an ancient pitch But one I wouldn't switch 'Cause there's no nicer witch than you

Dear Heart (Husk waited for Angel to come home from work)

Dear heart, wish you were here to warm this night My dear heart, it seems like a year since you've been out of my sight A single room, a table for one It's a lonesome town all right But soon I'll kiss you hello at our front door And dear heart, I want you to know I'll leave your arms never more

Husk and Angel

We Just Couldn't Say Goodbye

We thought that love was over, that we were really through, I said I didn't love her, that we'd begin anew, And you can all believe me, we sure intended to, But we just couldn't say goodbye. The chair and then the sofa, they broke right down and cried, The curtain started waving for me to come inside. I tell you confident'a'lly the tears were hard to hide, And we just couldn't say goodbye. The clock was striking twelve o'clock, it smiled on us below, With folded hands, it seemed to say, we'll miss you if you go. So I went back and kissed her and when I looked around, The room was singing love songs and dancing up and down. Now we're both so happy because at last we've found That we just couldn't say goodbye.

Kisses and Tears

Kisses and tears, it's up to you If we laugh or we cry through the years Unless you trust me, whenever a doubt appears Your future with me will continue to be kisses and tears You're crying again, you're sighing again Can't we patch it up this time? I guess it's alright, we've finished our fight It's just about kiss-time

Nothing in Common

Our two goals are apart as the poles are As lovers our roles are completely miscast Let's make a clean break And not take any chances 'Cause outside of thinking you're something divine And outside of wanting your lips close to mine We've got nothin' in common We've got nothin' in common at all

How Are Ya Fixed for Love

How are ya fixed for someone to watch the rain with? To stroll down the line with? For someone to just go a little insane with? How are you fixed for memories? Memories that shine so bright? If we let fancy take us We could make us a few tonight How are ya' fixed for someone who'll fit your arms like a glove? Hey, tell me baby, how are ya' fixed for love?

Bonus: Sinatra's Loser, baby a.k.a Here's To The Losers

Here's the last toast of the evening, here's to those who still believe All the losers will be winners, all the givers shall receive Here's to trouble-free tomorrows, may your sorrows all be small Here's to the losers, here's to the losers, here's to the losers Bless them all!

[carryingthebannershitposts]

Very genuinely important question

So, in a modern AU, I feel like all the Newsies would have drastically different music tastes from each other, and I have almost all of them figured out, but I need y'all to tell me if I'm right

Spot: Mother Mother, specifically both Haylofts and Burning Pile since he thinks it makes him look badass, but also he relates to a lot of the lyrics and likes to scream them. On the other side of things, he likes listening to egotistical songs (mostly from Bradways and shit) because they make him feel better about himself. (I give you as an example, What The World Needs from Ride The Cyclone. He loves RTC, Ocean is his favorite character. He hates her character arc tho.)

-

Race: Half Cavetown/Alex G/Will Wood, and other music artists that just make music for a living, half surprisingly upbeat songs, mostly from shows, games and movies, that for the most part aren't made to be listened to as much as he does. For example, No Girl's Toy from the Raggedy Ann/Andy movie had him in a chokehold for a little bit, same with the Cab Calloway version of St. James Infirmary Blues from Betty Boop's Snow White (Specifically JUST that version- he refuses to listen to the other ones). He is not allowed to have his playlist of shuffle in the lodging house because it'll skip right from the most depressing song you've ever heard to some random ass thing from the Cuphead soundtrack.

-

David: Doesn't listen to actual music with lyrics most of the time. No, he puts on that one 10 hour lo-fi compilation from Youtube. If he does want actual music though it's shit like MARINA and Melanie Martinez. Also, he LIVED AND BREATHED the Dear Evan Hansen soundtrack at one point. There's also a few songs he likes but he doesn't listen to anything else from the artist/source material, most notably Soldier, Poet, King and It's Not A Game/It's Just A Ride (After Spot forced everyone to watch RTC with him and Race).

-

Jack: COUNTRY MUSIC. But also, not actual country music. He likes the aethstetic (because cowboy) but can't stand the music, so he gets away with saying it's country music by listening to shit like I Love You Like An Alcoholic. He's gotten caught once listening to Hug All Ur Friends after Race recommended it, but he always used headphones after that. Also, being the tenor icon he is, he would be in choir and all his choir pieces (specifically the concerning sounding ones) are on his spotify playlist. (I raise you: A Silence Haunts Me. Look it up. Also, yes, as a Tenor who sang that piece with the choir I'm in, it's still in my playlist.)

-

Crutchie/Les: Grouped together because these two have the same music taste and share headphones a lot. It consists of AJR (They like the vibe of the music and both giggle quietly when it swears) The entire lion guard soundtrack, a bunch of Yaelokre songs and other fantasy-sounding stuff, and a bunch of My Little Pony (g4) songs.

-

Albert: Doesn't listen to as much music as the others, but he notably blasts the entire Hazbin Hotel soundtrack whenever he's watching the younger kids, very loudly yelling all the swears. He doesn't even watch Hazbin Hotel, he just does it to piss everyone off for fun. Jack hates this but can't really do anything about it.

[seaofreverie]

Sparkstember Day 6: Big Beat (Big Boy)

Wooohoooo, Big Beat! Our favourite little "questionable lyrics" album. Anyway, this one's lots of fun. Full of unrefutable bangers and hard rocking that's not like anything else that Sparks have done for the most part (and it's still very Sparks despite that). But yeah, this is a very strange era for them that I find pretty charming actually, and I think that for the full Big Beat experience one must watch the Capitol Theatre concert from this era (funnily, my favourite bit of it isn't even a song from this album... it's Equator, and, well, this is the exact type of theatricality that I'm a really big fan of, haha)

While I undoubtedly DO like this album, there must also be a reason I don't revisit it all that often. And I think, well, is it just just me or are lots of songs here just kind of... way too simple? Musically speaking (too), and while I'm pretty easy to please when it comes to this type of music that's much more on the rock than pop side of things, and my first impression here was very positive, well, afterwards... I either forgot about it altogether or often had a feeling of "can we move on now" when songs from this album came on shuffle and such. Even listening to this album today I had lots of those moments, like it's not that I don't like these songs... I guess they're just less engaging than I'm used to from Sparks (cause I don't want to call them boring, I think it's a bit of a different thing...).

Also interesting, because despite all this, the 21×21 Big Beat concert is actually a pretty big fav of mine. So I guess my thesis for today is that it's the type of album that works better live maybe!

Favourite songs (and other highlights):

Big Boy: just a good opener and fun song all around, and here's a fun fact about it: about a half of this song's length is just its title being said. Which means that the song Big Boy consists of 50% pure Big Boy

I Want To Be Like Everybody Else: sadly, a bit of a victim of Spotify Shuffle really wanting me to listen to it over and over and it getting a bit old fast

I Bought The Mississippi River: my fav here by far and also the most interesting and memorable, I really like the call & response part, and the guitar solos, the whole atmosphere is great, reminds me a little bit of High C even now that I think about it... Not sure though, I JUST thought about this

Confusion: one of the only songs here that I could see as part of some other album from around this time without it sticking out too much. Makes sense if we keep its origins in mind...

Screwed Up: it's fun to imagine sometimes that the 60s just happened

I Like Girls: COME ON, GIIIIIIRLS!!!

Tearing The Place Apart + Looks Aren't Everything: I love all the bonus tracks here but these two especially are a nice (and unexpected) return to the Indiscreet style which I really love

[lululawrence]

Hi— can you tell me what queue means? I saw your comment “cue the queue” and I see lots of people saying phrases with queue in it but I don’t understand.

hiiiiii!! okay so when i think of a queue i firstly think of a line. that's how the british use it, and that's basically what i think of when i think of it. you're waiting for your turn to be able to check out or talk to the service desk, and you're standing in line, otherwise known as a queue.

that's basically where the concept of a queue comes from when you think of digital things like when you're listening to music on spotify and don't want to get out of your playlist but want to add a song that isn't on the playlist into the play cycle, you can add that song to the queue or in netflix when you're adding movies that you want to have in a separate little area for you to remember to watch later, you add them to the queue as well. it's maybe not an actual physical line, but more like the list of what is coming up or what you'd like to have waiting for you.

the queue on tumblr is the same kind of thing. a lot of us utilize the queue feature because they are posts that you like and enjoy and want to reblog, but doesn't necessarily need to be reblogged right away (does anything really actually need to be reblogged right away? very few things do. anyway...). there are a lot of reasons people might use the queue feature. i know some people are only able to get on tumblr for an hour or two every day but want their blog to remain active even when they aren't there, so they fill their queue and have it post during the hours they know they can't be online, and others might have their own reasons to use a queue, but for me, i usually use it for a few different reasons.

the first is because i don't want to completely spam people with like 200 posts in 20 or 30 minutes and then just be completely gone for the rest of the day or even more than that. i still spam people when i'm online lololol but not nearly as bad as it would be if i wasn't constantly adding posts to my queue to post later lol

another reason is that i can't be on regularly, so i do like my blog staying active even if i'm not online. it feels like less pressure for me to be on and keeping up with everything for some reason, even though there's literally no pressure? i dunno. i like feeling present even if i'm not able to actually be there if that makes sense.

another reason though, and one i'm becoming more and more passionate about as time goes on and the culture of fandom continues to shift, is that i get frustrated with the speed with which things seem to come and go, content wise. if i am not able to be online during a louis show or harry or niall or whatever or in the immediate hours that follow, i feel like there's little to no chance of me seeing any content from that show unless i actually go to update accounts and seek out that content myself and i don't... do well with remembering what the update accounts are since i don't really follow them closely lmao i like coming across the content on my dash because people are still basking in it hours, days, weeks, YEARS later. so when the content starts coming out for the shows and i'm able to be online, i only actually reblog maybe half of what i'm seeing and i try to queue the rest so that they will still come up later. try to slow down the content a little bit and help it still be seen beyond those first few hours, show there's still a desire to have that content out there even if the gifs aren't posted immediately or whatever.

TAKE YOUR TIME MAKING THE CONTENT FOR WHATEVER SHOW OR VIDEO OR WHATEVER YOU CHOOSE TO MAKE. I PROMISE I WANT IT AND IF I SEE IT I WILL REBLOG WHENEVER IT GOES UP. or i'll queue it. if you see me liking a post of yours and it isn't immediately reblogged, it's okay. it WILL BE. i've liked it to show myself later it's okay, i have either previously reblogged it or i have queued it so i know i will have it on my blog in an attempt to not have too many repeats. lol which still happens cause my memory is horrible. but yeah.

so anyway. that's what a queue is. and a lot of us use silly tags for our queue that is usually a play on words or sounds or whatever. mine is cue the queue because i like homophones (words that are spelled differently but said the same way) and so i use that. but yeah, unfortunately the tag is only added if i'm on desktop, it doesn't automatically add when i'm on mobile which is annoying and therefore only maybe 1/3 of the time do the posts that are posting from my queue have that tag, but it's okay. i do try. (those of us that tag for our queues use a tag so that people can see the blog is active but they can know that while the posts are there, we aren't actually online. that way people don't think we're like purposefully ignoring them or something if they reach out and we don't immediately respond)

and there you have it! i hope this is thorough enough in what a queue is, why it exists, and what the tags might mean so everything you keep seeing people mentioning or talking about makes sense for you :D

[northwest-cryptid]

yoo I'm so excited to binge the gw2 ost I happened to find One song from discovery but since I'm migrating my Spotify likes I haven't been focusing on finding new music.

also hell yeah pso2!! haven't played that ever since New Genesis rlly but man I really had fun playing it

I'm a big fan of GW2's ost though I won't say which ones (for fear of being stoned in the streets) I do think there's a few tracks that are a bit overrated which I normally wouldn't bring up because I hate just being like, negative about shit. However the reason I say that is because I believe personally that while those songs are good and all they overshadow every other really impactful and good song in the ost because they're the big popular ones everyone focuses on.

and yea! PSO2 is one of my like, 2 or 3 favorite MMOs. The music, the aesthetic, and even the gameplay are always just so much fun to come back to. I don't think NG is nearly as bad as people make it out to be, and I do enjoy certain aspects of it; but I fully admit that it feels lacking compared to the base game.

I think a big part of that comes from how the classes are handled in NG, with most only having a small handful of skills, PAs, and Techs that aren't actually very interesting. It leads to most players only using even fewer of their PAs and Techs because the bulk of the ones they have either aren't very useful or don't mesh well with the available skills. It's certainly fun to try to figure out proper combos but the game basically becomes spamming one or two PAs to win unless you play Force in which case you get literally just 1 single target and 1 AoE version of each element and your skills sort of give you a bit of extra variety? I mostly play Force in NG because what it sacrifices in fun movement it makes up for in fun variety. I mostly stick with the classic PSO2 mode though because nothing will beat the gameplay variety and skill combinations present in that game. I enjoy that while Hero, Phantom, Etoile, and Luster are the end game super classes; they can easily be matched by a half decent player using any of the base classes so long as they actually care about their build and weapons.

My one gripe that's sort of omnipresent in PSO2 is just how much of a grind the game is. I've gotten too cozy with Mabinogi's progression system being very lax about it's pacing and it results in feeling like PSO2 wanting me to constantly, literally; grind my weapons, find more of the same weapons to upgrade my weapons, then grind the skills on my weapons, then upgrade the element on my weapons, now do it all over again for each of the three pieces of armor, now do all the skill point side quests so you can get this 3% damage bonus from this skill which you need because there are only two modes for the story; Little Baby Gamer's First MMO Mode which will have you literally 1 shot every enemy and you never get to really enjoy any of the mechanics or boss encounters, or Your Ass Is Grass Mode where everything is max level and assumes you've poured countless thousands of hours into this game and now YOU get 1 shot by everything. That being said I love just playing with friends and hanging out.

[iseesound]

𝐈 𝐒𝐄𝐄 𝐒𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃! 𝐑𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐨, 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐃𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡 𝐎𝐟 𝐂𝐚𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐫🗡️

Aired 02.09.23

Featuring music from Injury Reserve, Joe Glass, Radiohead and more.

Listen on Spotify and Apple Music.

If you think this is about you, it probably is.

I have yet to feel worse than the day my closest friend betrayed the trust I had in her. (Woah getting personal today aren't we). I find it funny I started making these mixes for my friends and she was the first one to get one, and now almost two years later am doing much more with it.

Beginning with the first three songs, I tried to capture the three main themes throughout the set. "The Inflated Tear" by Rahsaan Roland Kirk was used in the movie "Judas and The Black Messiah" which I find fitting to start a set about betrayal with a song that was used thematically throughout a movie about betrayal. My feelings about everything, to this day, confuse me. Half of me tries to move on, while the other one is still angry. Although the song "u" is about Kendrick Lamar's own internal turmoil. If you turn the second verse onto someone else, or the beginning of the third verse, the verses mirror the same turmoil I felt when I heard about all the things she told my friends. Everything I do, I do with intention. With these sets, I often recontextualize music, and give it new meaning. Which sounds like a pretentious way of making playlists, but I don't see it that way.

It was around September I was able to get over everything that happened. There was this vulnerability, which is expressed in "Time" by George Riley, that I began to feel.

"I'm very protective over my space I don't let no one in unless I'm satisfied they're good and humble Don't like to mingle with the fickle and fake"

I love how this song starts, there's a lot of rock/indie songs in here with guitars/strings being the main instrument. It helps with the cohesiveness of the whole set itself. I'm not an avid Radiohead listener, but the song, even with its clear message of finding real friends, these particular set of lyrics, remind me of the stupidity of it all.

"They brought in the CIA The tanks and the whole marines To blow me away To blow me sky high"

I saw Joe Glass preform "Slither" live last week on Two Faced Radio. (Thursdays from 3PM-5Pm right after my show ;) ) Seeing his fingers dance on the neck of his guitar in person really cemented my love for this song.

"Was there nothing he could Do to make her stay?"

There was a point where I didn't really care about what happened. I was more caught up in salvaging the friendship then realizing how bad it was. Looking back at it now, it was her way of ending our friendship, maybe out of spite, or maybe something else. It was about half a year of uncomfortable conversations that made me feel worse.

The downside of becoming so close to someone, is how intertwined they become with your own life. Our lives began to intersect everywhere. For a long time I wondered what would I say when I would see her. I realized after a while, I really didn't want to say anything. They probably would not mean the same to her anyways.

My American Life, Brockhampton

"And I got nothing to give, that's why I made you this tape I been climbin' this wall, how much more can I take? Sometimes I think about dyin', but then I think of those days Sometimes I wish we could speak, but I have nothing to say"

Bust, Lomelda

"I thought of so many things To say to you, to you But what were they What were they What were they to you, to you"

Reflecting back on it all. What happened, and our friendship. I began to realize that it wasn't as healthy as I thought it was. Ironically, I put this in a mix I made her right after everything happened. But I realize now what Clairo meant in "Little Changes" by singing:

"He loved me good enough to calm me down But tried to trick me into little changes

I see the end before it begins"

I have a photo wall in my room. With pictures of my friends and family. She's in a few. There's a few with other friends that have faded. On a call once with my friend, I asked him, "I should take these down shouldn't I?" What he said to me has stuck to me even till now. "You can still be happy with the good memories you have."

"But white noise comes from nothing at all And finally I feel Good Good to fall between The ones I love and the ones that faded"

The vulnerability I'm trying to express, where I'm trying to figure out how to express is hard to put into words. I feel like it's just plain corny. But sometimes the most clear way to express is just being honest about.

Personally, Omar Apollo

"Too many people I don't see no more Too many feelings I don't feel no more 'Cause I really don't wanna be here alone Too many people I don't need no more So many doubts that I stop keeping score"

I could go on and on about "Glory", from the way Hodge censors himself, to his mention of Jesus. But I own three frogs, and so all I have to mention from this song is this line:

"Dissecting my life apart like a frog with no ribbit"

I just recently got into beabadoobee, "broken cd" repeats the whole mixtape theme I have going on. Though I'm the only one who really understands that with the way I make connections in these playlists.

I go back in forth with my feelings about the whole situation. But for the most part I kept quiet about it.

TO FEEL ALIVE, Kali Chis

"I let them crucify me I kept my head down, humble Some people get their kicks just steppin' on your dreams, I know it"

I remember when “Non Voglio Mai Vedere Il Sole Tramontare” was released, Caroline Polachek had announced it saying it was out of character for her. It doesn’t surprise me she can sing opera so well. (Its to my understanding an opera about Kurt Cobain’s last days.) The translation of the title is “I Never Want to See the Sun Go Down.”

“Outside” by Injury Reserve is the opening track for the album By The Time I Get To Phoenix. Setting the scene for the feeling of the album. Theres a line where Ritchie with a T raps,

“Got my skeletons, you've got yours But let's be honest here  This, this don't end with agree and disagree That ain't possible There's just some things  There's just some things that ain't right"

There was this one conversation I had with her, trying to understand why she switched up on me so suddenly and I realized there was no way it was going to end with us being as close as we had been just a week before.

“The Wake Pt. 3 & 2” by Slauson Malone calls back to the trumpets from “The Inflated Tear” and the strings heard throughout the set like in “Slither”. Though the lyrics remind me of one of the last real conversations I had with her.

“I know, you know I'll be at your wake, in the waves”

After writing this all, I realize this is not about a friend betraying you. Rather it's a set that encapsulates the aftermath of it all. The painting I chose for the Apple Music cover, "The Death of Caesar" by Jean-Léon Gérôme, captures not the assassination of Julius Caesar itself, but rather the immediate aftermath. It seems like a much more fitting cover now.

When Caesar was murdered, his killers say they murdered him because they feared his dictatorship was undermining the Roman Republic. But they were unable to restore the institutions of the Republic.

I find that parallel to my own life. As her actions led to the end of our friend group. Ending much more than she anticipated.

[thedissociatives]

10 songs 10 people ! tagged by @whitenikes thnx :) hope i got this right (also i definitely do not have 10 ppl to tag lol but i'll try to get as close to that as i can)

without me by eminem - used to listen to this whole album in the car with my mum all the time when i was like 3 lol one of my fav songs that she showed me

stuck in the middle with you by stealers wheel - have had this stuck in my head for like a month it's so bad. do not even need to say where i first heard it we all know

love from the other side by fall out boy - was so hyped for this to come out cuz i knew it meant a new album and it did not disappoint ! fav fob song they've released since ab/ap cannot wait for the album

don't dream it's over by crowded house - yeah yeah yeah i get half my music taste from films and tv what about it. heard it on the americans in october when i watched like the whole show in a month and now it's on most of my playlists

break by fugazi - one of my fav songs when i was 14 that i rediscovered recently. don't have the best memories tied to it but now i can create new ones w it instead :) cuz i haven't rlly listened to much of em the past few years and i can't let a bad time stop me from enjoying music i like

i can tell there was an accident here earlier by saosin - my all time fav band and their fav song of mine ! remember having to go on youtube for ages to listen to it before they put it on spotify. ngl the demo sounds way better the vibes just aren't quite the same on the spotify version

bathroom light by mt joy - i guess i couldn't escape the nolan patrickification of hockeytwt haha i do rlly like them now tho (want to see them when they play london next summer but 1. it's the day after my exams finish and i'll be too tired and 2. i don't have anyone to go with)

one way or another by blondie - mean girls my beloved <3 sorry to literally everyone but that's where i first heard this song. the soundtrack of that film is so good tho i'm glad this is on it otherwise idk how i would've found it

я сошла с ума by tatu - poppy's cover of the english version of this song is one of the best covers out there imo but nothing beats the original. it hits so different in russian too even though i don't understand most of it (but the bits that i do ? omg)

i hear you calling by gob - think this song is on an old chel soundtrack which is cool. one of the many bands i got into through looking at old tour posters (eternally grateful i figured out i could do that when i was 12 i've found so many good bands this way). this whole album is fuckin amazing but the guitar riff in this song is soo nice. always gets stuck in my head

(@smolpieceoftoast @memphisbelle @fagdeniro @fiftysecondstreet @emuchipmunk @rocket-eighty-eight plus like. anyone else who wants to do this)

[bhawk-goose]

I just got my spotify wrapped and it made me think a lot about my music listening. Firstly, CG5 is my top artist, and I really don't want to admit how I stacked up compared to his other fans, but I think I know why I got my frankly embarrassing score. I have one playlist that I listen to, and CG5 is consistent, so while his songs are kinda meh, they're all meh, and almost always in the top half of meh, which barely allows him to get a bunch of songs in my playlist, so the listening time just kinda built up. Another thing I thought about is how my actual favorite artist(Cam Steady) wasn't even in the top 5, and I think it's because most artists I really like aren't consistent, their songs are either really good or lower half of meh, so they don't get as many songs in. I also realized I tend to think of artists less as sources of music and more as time periods, and I think that's because I tend to find one song from an artist, think "holy shit, that's really good" and then go on their page to add a bunch more of their songs to my playlist, and then never think about them again. Sometimes these are a bit different, like Kyle Allen Music, who managed to be good enough that I think of them as a source of music even now, and Nathan Evans whose music stands out among the other songs in my playlist, much like Cam Steady.

[void-botanist]

2, 15, 22 and 32 for corvussossifragus' ask game! (from @kahvilahuhut <3)

From this ask game.

Thanks for the clarification in your other ask lol. Anni's the perfect person to talk about music and family for. what sort of music would they like? have you thought about what genres or bands do they lean towards? do they have a favorite song? Anni isn't picky about music, but her two favorite genres are electronica and a genre that I guess is like…synthwave? I'm really bad at genres honestly and I only thought "huh…like vaporwave?" after I described it as: if you took half•alive (Still Feel is the obvious choice here) and smashed it together with Tycho's remix of The Ghosts of Beverly Drive (by Death Cab for Cutie) and sprinkled some Mr. Blue Sky on top of it and then made it ambient. She especially likes one stillblueghostswave band in particular, South Zephyr, and her favorite song by them recently became the headliner of the concert she and Zel went to the first time they met in person.

(All links go to the songs on Spotify.)

how big or small is their family? who did they live with growing up? do they live with anyone now? I think Anni may have an even bigger family than I've built out because she grew up with her mom's side of the family, and that's who shows up in TFA. Her dad's side of the family mostly lives on the other side of the continent and she's never spent as much time with them. Until she went to college, she lived in Ermotlift (eastern coast) with her parents and older sister Halli and younger brother Brandon, who both still live at home. Her university was further north, in the same city where her twin aunts live, and she lived with both of them for part of her degree. Now she lives with Julian and Dez (who she considers family, but in a nebulous un-title-able way) in Winchester (southern coast). She also has three grandparents on this side of the family: her mom's parents, Nana and Dasa, got divorced and Nana got remarried to Papa (Dasa just went to travel the world like he wanted). Anni's aunts are Papa's kids from his first marriage, and Julian is the only kid Nana and Papa have together.

do they sleep well at night? Usually, yes. It's the actually pulling herself away from what she's doing and going to bed that Anni has a hard time with.

do they have any habits that aren't particularly self-destructive, just maybe odd? The most obvious one is having a wardrobe that is 90% blue. But anything that involves being cagey about having built an android probably falls under this too. Honestly I think she needs more odd habits.

[fat-fem-and-asian]

full thoughts post season (not all positive and also spoilers)

S2 felt much stronger than S1 overall -- mainly for the reasons I listed above. It was much freer in what characters get to interact and I think that the plot was fairly efficient at getting things done. I also loved the performances and the songs in the second half of the season! They were all so fun and high energy! Cecily's 11 o'clock was a season high for me and it was such a sweet moment. I could really go on for hours about everything I loved. The sets. The costumes. The chandelier drop. The songs were so good! So much to praise!

The finale was a bit of a let down though. It contradicted it's own themes of happiness and misses the mark of why Schmicago's musicals were as dark as they were. Historically, they're from an era of confusion and protest that rejected American post-war golden age narratives.

Hair is staunchly anti-capitalist and anti-war; JCS is built around revolution and breaking down the barrier between god and man; Chicago and Cabaret explore how decadence and immorality can come hand in hand; Sweeney Todd and Pippin's plots hinge on the cyclical nature of violence. You get the picture. They all address themes of deep personal and worldly unhappiness and ask the audience to reflect too.

Schmicago best addresses this in episode 4 during a conversation between Melissa and Josh. They got married, moved out to the suburbs, followed the blueprint - so why aren't they happy? It's a subtle performance from Cecily and Keegan that broke my heart. And I loved it! It makes sense for Schmicago to challenge Schmigadoon, and by proxy, Melissa and Josh's relationship.

The finale song, "A Happy Beginning", is the literal thesis of the season (great song btw). Happy endings don't exist, things don't work out the way you thought, but you still go on to the next day. You define happiness, not the other way around.

So, when the show frames a baby, not their individual goals, as the happy ending of the show? It's confusing! It deflates Melissa and Josh's arcs. What about their personal desires? Melissa's love of performance and Josh's mentoring? A child can be a happy and desirable goal, but the season spends little time showing this (even with a show full of orphans!). It's hardly established that either of them have a genuine longing for children, at least no more than they wanted a house in the suburbs.

This feels similar to the issues I had with S1's finale. Schmigadoon followed tropes of the musical without question, even if the series emphasizes different values earlier. Josh and Melissa don't find each other in a grounded way, instead having a (admittedly sweet) grandiose reunion. Its unearned and counters the show's theme of small moments and actions defining relationships. The central issue in their relationship was masking poor communication with grand gesture and distraction. Similarly, the conflict of season 2 is not lacking a baby, it's a deeper feeling of dissatisfaction and the pressure to be happy in an unfair world. Does the finale really resolve this?

P.S. still love this show and it's gonna ruin my spotify wrapped cinco paul please don't get mad i only criticize bc i love this little show

okay i know its early but s2 schmigadoon is feeling much better than s1!

my main issue w/ s1 was really wrapped up in josh and mel and how little their chemistry was actually shown -- creating sort of weak subplots since they relied on that relationship and tension! but now we have a josh and melissa who obviously care about each other and have grown! josh can interact with the plot in a more interesting way than just rolling his eyes! melissa has a true personal motivation! i care about them a lot more this time and feel like i'm rooting for them in a way that was missing during s1. i was kinda just team ariana debose.

and everyone is used so, so well. jane krakowski is rolling in solos, kristen chenowith gets a cockney accent, and dove cameron is off doing chair tricks! everyone gets something fun and cool and is put in different dynamics that really help to showcase them as performers. love love love aaron tveit who can do no wrong. plus having keegan and cecily paired together lets them show off more of their comedic strengths and like they're not just talking to camera.

also fun to reverse their main partners! who knew that keegan and aaron could have such good chemistry or that cecily would play so well off of dove.

the plot is tighter, the characters are more dynamic, and the songs are just as good. maybe even better! honestly i went in with low expectations but i have pretty high hopes for the rest of the season! i know there will be some more fun numbers and other characters to get in to, and maaaybe the plot won't be as cut and dry as we think. maybe. even if it's not i will have a damn good time watching schmicago

[rilakiwii]

- long distance relationship with nct

part1; nct dream version

(back to my favorite format!! also, how do I open requests? help lol)

- - - - ——— mark

꒰ messages you all the time!

꒰ I can feel like he would even spam you sometimes-

꒰ hating on time zones 24/7

꒰ because, he wants to talk to you so bad but you are asleep...

꒰ 100% he would stay up late for you, often falling asleep while talking which is super cute

꒰ "soooo... you asleep?"

"it's literally 3am!!!"

"but, you aren't asleep!!!"

"I'm not saying I waited for you but that's exactly what I did..."

꒰ sending little "vlogs" to each other

꒰ thinking about making a couple youtube channel one day

꒰ because let's be honest, we all at least once thought about making one and he thought about it too-

- - - - ——— jaemin

꒰ probably met on Instagram

꒰ he would love all your photos; your main hype man!

꒰ "omggg, so pretty!"

"that's so aesthetic, I can't-"

"are you even real?"

꒰ you would send eachother cute packages for birthdays and other extra occasions

꒰ they would include lots of snacks and plushies

꒰ so you have something to hug! even tho he wishes that you could hug each other... plushies need to be enough for now!

꒰ sending cooking recipes and then cooking the meals on FaceTime (or something else if you, like me, don't have iPhone lol)

꒰ and then eating it together

꒰ even if it didn't end up being that well

꒰ y'all are basically married haha

- - - - ——— renjun

꒰ you would be the one to start a conversation because he's a bit shy

꒰ calling to eachother very often; of course he thinks you look very lovely but your voice- that's what makes him melt

꒰ I can imagine him singing to you

꒰ doing your homework together (if you go to school of course)

꒰ he's a smart boyyy

꒰ playing Animal Crossing together

꒰ because you two are the sweetest bubs

꒰ lots of gifts and messages in the game

꒰ you both like to take 'things slow' but still are super close

- - - - ——— haechan

꒰ you would meet on discord

꒰ y'all would play lots of games together

꒰ probably Minecraft- what can I say, it's a perfect game for dates! (I know what I'm talking about-)

꒰ lots and lots and lots of flowers for you!

꒰ also, many wholesome memes

꒰ he would probably also make some himself!

꒰ lots of heart emoji

꒰ cute lunch dates on discord

꒰ probably matching the food so it would feel even real

- - - - ——— chenle

꒰ chill and funny but also super sweet couple

꒰ just pure goals!

꒰ you probably would share Spotify

꒰ making cute playlists for each other but also trolling with putting meme songs between

꒰ using reaction pics instead of emojis

꒰ you would share a lot of your friends and play games together

꒰ I feel like sometimes he would prank you and pretend that he can't hear you or something like this

꒰ watching Netflix together and suddenly changing into the finest movie critics

꒰ making bets about what'll happen next in the movie/series

- - - - ——— jeno

꒰ going back and forth on twitter

꒰ making lots and lots of plans for the future

꒰ like, meeting eachother and traveling to lots of places

꒰ finding a niche game and trying best to beat eachother at speed running it

꒰ 'I love you but I'm beating your record today'

'Aww... you wish'

꒰ playing made up bingo while watching silly and 'cheap' movies

꒰ 'yes! I got bad green screen clipping!'

꒰ I feel like he would send you his hoodie one day and you would do the same

꒰ so you could feel each others presence at least in a small way like this

- - - - ——— jisung

꒰ DEFINITION OF ADORABLE COUPLE

꒰ 'I miss you' messages even if you guys talked like half an hour ago

꒰ sending selfies with 'xyz check!' ('lunch check!', 'school check!', 'dance training check!')

꒰ sometimes just sitting on FaceTime (or something else) and not even talking

꒰ despite the long distance, you guys like to 'feel' each others presence in this way

꒰ he has you on his wallpaper and you have him too

꒰ or the eye color lockscreen from TikTok (if you don't know - there was a trend to make wallpapers where would be hearts in the color of your so's eyes)

꒰ proud boyfriend, always says great things about you when someone asks about it

[mono-dot-jpeg]

antarctic idiots [pt.4] - c!technoblade

summary; in which two anarchist piglins adopt an ender boy.

genre; child! ranboo, piglin hybrid! reader, slight canon divergence from dream smp, fluff, found family au is my shit, reader is now ranboo’s parent i don’t make the rules, techno is a grumpy father but it’s okay you love him, realistic minecraft? (idk how to describe it-), uh angst (if you squint)

pairing; c! technoblade x reader, platonic! ranboo x reader

word count; 1.2k

spotify playlist | main masterlist

< previous - next >

a/n; i forgot what my draft a/n said bc i accidentally deleted the og part 4 of this. but it's not like i wrote much for this part yet, so not much will change.

i think i did mention that i meant to make reader around techno's canon height so i think i've might've gotten it wrong in the last part but tbh idc too much abt it, i wanted reader to just be as tall as techno bc they're both piglins and yah know, big build go brrr

anyways with a whopping 195 votes for yes, reader will be fighting in the battle of the lake, although i won't write much abt it bc im bad at fight scenes

ALSO IF YOU GUYS WANT ME TO EXPLAIN WHY I PICKED CERTAIN SONGS FOR MY PLAYLIST SEND AN ASK SKDJKSJ I WILL GLADLY EXPLAIN-

"it's not like i have a choice, do i?" you moved to stand by techno and tommy, unsheathing your sword. you hear the sound of teleporting and within seconds, dream is right in the middle of the battlefield. you hid your surprise in seeing the male suddenly.

now i wasn't informed that tommy planned on working with dream for this... you thought, looking at the masked male.

"well, ain't this just fun." you said, catching dream's attention. both of you share a look (though you can't really see under his mask), a dead stare towards him as he nods at you in acknowledgement. you would have to talk to him later. "let's get this done quickly, shall we?"

"but who are you exactly?" sapnap had asked you.

"does it really matter when i'm about to kill you?"

"harsh." techno commented.

"says the one with the title of blood god." you shot back.

"this isn't the point! the point is..." you had long stopped listening to tommy's declarations and rants, patiently waiting for the battle to actually start. and start it did.

every move you made didn't even feel like you were doing anything. your muscle memory just guiding you through your fight. it didn't feel like you. your brain was on auto pilot. everything felt like a blur. quickly and almost underwhelmingly, the battle had ended with pogtopia winning.

you sheath your sword back to its normal place, right by your hip. your eyes half lidded and bored as you stared at tommy relish in the rewards of battle. "all of that for a fish?"

"not just any fish!" tommy huffed. you look at techno who has the same unimpressed look as you do.

"i'm going for a walk. i'll be back by night." you don't waste any time leaving, heading out to a much more secluded area of the smp. your thoughts mindlessly floating around as you take your time, walking.

"y/n."

you turn around, looking at the masked man, "dream."

"what are you doing here?"

"none of your business." a dead silence hangs for a moment. "i'm here for a favor."

"oh? is that so?"

"a favor that doesn't involve you. you don't need to know anything about it."

"well, if it involves you, it must be important. come on. we're friends, aren't we?"

"not on my own will. and not by yours. you and i both know we are not friends." your voice is low as you glare at dream. "we both have our benefits if we work with each other. that is why our deal exists. i would never want to work for you willingly."

"but i mean in a way, you're still working for me."

"that's what you think."

"i thought you said you fight for what you believe in." wilbur said.

"are you mocking me, mr. soot?" you raised an eyebrow at him. "i fought because it's not like i had much of a choice. tommy would've been on my ass about it if we lost."

"but you still fought. even if you didn't want to. you didn't even know who you were fighting for."

"i still do not know what i'm fighting for, even though you brought me here." you look at your hands, both of them shaking as you open and close your hands. "i was not myself during that battle."

"what do you mean?"

"i wasn't controlling myself. everything was a blur." you move your hands into your pockets in an attempt to stop the shaking. "i was not thinking, everything was like instinct." you explained it the best you could.

"is that the other reason you left l'manburg?"

"no. would you stop trying to figure that out?" your words held no sternness but wilbur knew better than to not push you further. you were never really one to try and hold your anger against someone.

"sorry. maybe you should just stick with techno for while? get some rest after that? i'm sure tommy won't go through much conflicts with others while you rest. i won't let him." wilbur put his hand on your shoulder. you sighed.

" 's fine. i'll be with techno then. i expect to have no communications alerts from tommy about fighting." you went to find techno in the ever so wonderful pogtopia ravine. wilbur watched as you left his view to find his twin.

"hello again tough guy." you entered the room, seeing techno turn his head to look at you before continuing to farm potatoes. "even after a battle, you're still working."

"revolution waits for no man."

"that is true." you sit next to a large chest filled to the brim with potatoes. "how are you after that battle?"

" 'm fine. it wasn't so bad." a beat of silence fills the room before techno speaks again, "are you okay?"

the question confused you, "what do you mean?"

"i saw you fighting in that battle. i knew that look in your eyes." you faintly think back to the fight, remembering how you didn't quite feel like yourself.

"was it that obvious?"

"maybe to me, i'm not sure about the others though. you didn't seem like yourself." he mindlessly harvests more potatoes as you rest your head against the stone walls.

you bit your lip, hesitant to tell him that he was right. were you even ready to fully trust techno with something like this? this may just be more important than i realize… you thought. “what did you see in my eyes at the time?” you asked, moving the subject just a little bit to move away from the main topic.

“... unrestraint. while your fighting was not very unrestrained, your eyes… they look hazed. i wouldn’t really say it was unrestrained but you seemed very spaced out and yet you still managed to fight like it was nothing.”

“i don’t really wanna talk about it, i still don’t know if i could trust you yet, mr. blade.” you joked, attempting to move the conversation forward to a different topic. “how long have you been planting these potatoes?”

“since i joined.”

“and when was that?”

“probably a week before i met you?” he guessed.

“that’s pretty impressive. you seem really focused on everything that you do.” you commented.

“it’s sort of my thing.” techno shrugged. “i had a 9 month war about potatoes.”

“holy shit. and you won?”

“of course i won.” he started to ramble about the potato war, while you listened to him in full interest. despite how ridiculous the whole war sounded, you had to admit it was pretty amazing.

“who knew the blood god would be so intent on beating a kid to win a war about potatoes.” you joked. “i never would’ve guessed that you would be so passionate about potatoes.”

“well, never judge a book by its cover.” techno hummed, wiping the leftover dirt on his hands as he finished farming. “you got any stories of your own to share?”

“i have a few. they’re not very interesting though. they were all stories from my times in l’manburg.”

“you lived in l’manburg?”

“i was the general of the army.”

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