#and the only time ive been able to just hang out with people this year was the school dance and all state orch auditions

[rivenantiqnerd]

my mom was saying how high schoolers should have to read nathaniel hawthorne and other stuff that has ‘stood the test of time’ instead of the stuff we currently read (though what my class is reading rn is the perfect intersection between the old stuff i like & what modern teens are willing to read) and i said no they should work up to it bc most of them start out not able to understand the old stuff so my sister said ‘maybe if you were nicer to your peers youd have more friends’

im fucking trying bitch

[norrisainz33]

big news || cs55

☆ summary: carlos and his long term partner have a big announcement

☆ pairing: carlos sainz x wife!reader

☆ fc & warnings: none and pregnancy and poorly translated spanish

☆ requested: yes!! thank you anon 🫶🏻

ﾟ. ✿ ୨❤︎୧⠀✿ . ﾟ

carlossainz55 has made a post

liked by landonorris, alex_albon, ynsainz, alexandrasaintmleux, lilymhe, and 763,928 others

carlossainz55: over the weekend i got to make the most perfect woman in the world my wife. y/n - i love you more than words could ever describe and i can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you. te amo mucho ❤️

view all 889 comments

user1: violently sobbing

alex_albon: a beautiful weekend celebrating an incredible couple

lilymhe: thank you for letting us be part of your big day 🤍

carlossainz55: gracias por todo ❤️

ynsainz: i’m so glad you both were able to make it!!

user2: lando being one of the groomsmen has me sick. carlando i love you

landonorris: i’m so glad my mom and dad finally tied the knot

carlossainz55: and im glad you were able to be with us

landonorris: eres lago

ynsainz: love you dearly muppet 😘

ynsainz: my husband 🤍 you are so dear to me

carlossainz55: my wife 😍

user3: happy for you guys (i’m gonna lay in the road)

williamsracing: congratulations mr and mrs chili 💙

carlossainz55: 💙🌶️

user4: this is MY royal wedding

ynsainz has made a post

liked by carlossainz55, charlesleclerc, alexandrasaintmleux, landonorris, yourbff, alex_albon and 234,917 others

ynsainz: the most perfect honeymoon with the most perfect husband

view all 493 comments

user2: this called me single and BROKE in so many different languages

landonorris: my favorite people in the world

ynsainz: my sweet little landy boy 😘

maxverstappen1: congratulations you two ❤️

ynsainz: thank you maxie 🤍

carlossainz55: gracias max

user12: i want this

alexandrasaintmleux: hope you had a magical time 🤍

ynsainz: we did!! i miss you tho, we must hang out soon 🫶🏻

user23: i love love so very much

carlossainz55: mi amor 😘

ynsainz: mi marido [my husband] 😍

user43: you two are so important to me

ynsainz has posted to their story

view all story replies

user2: FAMILY OKG 😭😭😭😭

landonorris: my hair looks a mess here why did you post this one

ynsainz: it looked like this in all the pics babes

landonorris: 😔

user3: the sainz’s are so handsome it’s crazy

carlossainz55: carlandoooo

ynsainz: sometimes i worry you like him more than me

carlossainz55: hahaha no mi princessa. i couldn’t love anyone more than you

lilymhe: my little golfer 🥹

ynsainz: thank you for the lessons my love

user5: lando being part of the family is everything

user12: just waiting til you guys expand the family 🫣

ynsainz has posted to their private story

view all story replies

landonorris: what did you make???

ynsainz: a bun!

landonorris: a bun????????? what???

ynsainz: yeah i put a bun in the oven

landonorris: i’m incredibly confused how this was the best dinner you’ve ever had

ynsainz: it’s ok lando! you’ll find out when you’re older

landonorris: wait i just googled that…….. are you insinuating what google says you are?

ynsainz: i am 🤍

landonorris: YAYYYYYYYYY OMG!!!!!! MY BESTIES ARE HAVING A BABY

ynsainz: please don’t tell anyone yet. ok?

landonorris: my lips are sealed

lilymhe: HOW DID IT GO

ynsainz: you were right lils. i’ve never seen him so excited in all the years we’ve been together. he cried and cried and it was the best reaction i could’ve hoped for

lilymhe: i’m so glad to hear it. you two are going to be the best parents 🤍

ynsainz: thank you 🥹 and you’re going to be the best auntie

lilymhe: i simply can’t wait

carlossainz55: only thing that tops this is the day you said yes to being my wife ❤️

ynsainz: carlos 😭😭😭

carlossainz55: it’s true my love. having a family with y is something ive been dreaming of for years

ynsainz: me as well carlos ❤️

yourbff: i’m so happy for you my gorgeous bestie

ynsainz: thank you my perfect bestie

charlesleclerc: how were the burgers ?

ynsainz: wonderful mon ami

alexandrasaintmleux: tell me what’s up immediately

ynsainz: i’ll tell you at breakfast tomorrow 😘

carlossainz55 has made a post

liked by landonorris, ynsainz, charlesleclerc, williamsracing, carlossainzoficial, fernandoalo_oficial, and 987,457 others

carlossainz55: we’ve been keeping a secret. can’t wait to meet you in a few months little baby sainz 🤍🌶️

view all 999 comments

user1: THIS IS THE BEST NEWS EVER

ynsainz: see you soon baby sainz ❤️

carlossainz55: mommy and daddy can’t wait to meet you 💙

user3: my favorite couple are gonna be parents i’m sobbing

williamsracing: congratulations 🌶️

landonorris: i can’t wait to be an uncle 😘

carlossainz55: i look forward to your promotion to uncle lando

user81: i love carlando so much im

user8: carlos kissing the pictures has me in tears

alexandrasaintmleux: my favorite people in the whole wide world are going to be parents 🤍

carlossainz55: 🥹❤️

charlesleclerc: congratulations my friends

carlossainz55: thank you charles 🫶🏻

user9: feeling very parasocial and crazy rn

ﾟ. ✿ ୨❤︎୧⠀✿ . ﾟ

a/n: thanks for reading!!! likes and reblogs appreciated 🫶🏻 happy new year everyone! could not be more thankful for al the support from you this year ❤️

ﾟ. ✿ ୨❤︎୧⠀✿ . ﾟ

disclaimer: pictures are not mine and everything i write is fiction

© norrisainz33 || please do not rewrite, translate, or copy any of my works posted here on to any other platform

[microwaving-tesilid-argente]

@orathearsonman

im LAUGHING so hard rn bc it didn't occur to me, but you're so right reed would milk it SO HARD

reed is fainting swooning and coughing so loudly that he doubles over pathetically, while tesilid is just standing there like 🧍👁️ 👁️ trying to force his own coughs into something as close to a soft mewl as he can

Reed/Ai hanahaki au. send post.

[kingshovelbug]

im sorry but i need to geek out somewhere and screaming into the void on tumblr is less likely to get me flayed than on twitter, especially if i get terms wrong. plus i can do a read more and yall can click into the tech talk if you want to verse it bombarding your twitter timelines

so idk if i only liked it or if i actually put it in my queue but i saw a post that talked about a few pieces of tech that focus on user repairs and being sustainable (fairphone and frameworks laptop) and after doing some more research into what they have to offer i actually really excited that these products are finely hitting the us market and that people are moving away from the belief that super smooth streamlined glassy = the future. being able to reliably repair and keep what you have alive verse throwing the whole thing away when maybe all you needed to do is add more ram to your current laptop (something that i would do with my laptop to keep using it for a few more years if it wasnt glued shut and i was at risk of cracking the screen) or swap out a fuse.

i know big corporations dont like it but i truly do believe with how much tech we use on a daily basis that the way that we are going to be more environmentally friendly is to move back to tech that we can hang onto for as long as we can and to recycle and then reuse what we cant. like with the frameworks laptop. i saw that they just partnered with coolermaster to create a case specifically so that you can reuse you motherboard, cpu, etc and make a portable workstation. you could dual wield with the laptop you just upgraded if you want to dedicate specific tasks to one or the other. they also specifically mentioned that you could screw it into the back of a monitor and create your own all in one. guys thats cool as shit??? if you had a 3d printer and some time you could even create that yourself

on top of the actual hardware part moving to open source programs when your able. when i update my desktop i plan on running linux. it might have a learning curve compared to windows but in terms of performance??? ive heard that it runs smoother even on older machines, that its more efficient because isnt running stuff in the background that tracks your data and shit. now i understand that not everyone can do that because there are some programs that dont play nice with linux but for my needs at least it does everything i would need it to. and maybe a couple years down the road we do figure out how to run these programs on certain flavors of linux since its open source and people fiddle with it so much. (still looking for alternatives to like word and excel though, i use google docs since its free but i want to move away from them as much as i can too since they laid of their youtube music team (i believe?? it might of been a different branch) for trying to unionize)

if anyone knows of any other smaller companies that actually focus on sustainability and user repairability please let me know. theres certain pieces of tech that i think are now unfortunately behind a software repair paywall, things that used to be just machines and are gaining more bells and whistles like cars and refrigerators if that makes sense. but the more we push for these things to be repairable by us the consumers id hope that would change, or there would at least be options that dont need specific companies to repair them or else they blow up

[winniethewife]

Uiscefhuaraithe (Vessel & IV)

A/n: This is for @shutterspeedserpent for the Sleep Token Tumblr Holiday Gift Exchange 2024, I’m so pleased to have a chance to write more for this event and the lovely hosts. I hope you enjoy this and that it was worth the wait! Also thank you @midgardian-witch for Beta reading!

As Always if you want to hear me shout into the void about this band (And others) Please follow me over at @lyricallymelodic

Disclaimer: All fan fic written by me for this fandom is based on a fictional depiction of the personas of the band members, no real people were perceived in the making of this fiction.   Tags: Creature Feature AU, Fluff, distance makes the heart grow fonder, platonic affection

Ao3 link

Words: 1051

Vessel hadn’t been here in months. This part of the forest didn’t look that different, but the way the air felt was  different. Maybe it was the winter air, maybe it's just how much time has passed. He wasn’t sure. It didn’t feel like that long ago that he had sat in this same spot and listened to Espera sing, surrounded by those he loved and adored. His long fingers trace over the bark of the tree he stood next to, his six eyes blinking in sync as he looked around the small clearing. He could picture it in his mind, II would sit over by the fire pit. His odd mix of feathers and fur were somehow never enough to keep him warm. III’s lanky form lay over the boulders, never able to sit in a normal position. IV would be hovering around, floating from place to place, hanging out in the shadows of the group staying close to them. The Espera would sing Sleep’s lullaby while enjoying the space given to them by their benevolent god. He missed them. He knew they would return when the weather was warm, but that didn’t make the longing feel any less painful.

Vessel found his space in the clearing; it was once a tree stump but centuries of sitting there had almost worn it into a throne of sorts. So many years had passed by them, so many memories. He was sure for just a moment that he could hear their voices, the shared laughter that would fill the air in this place. As he lowered his towering form into the seat he felt the odd pang from his antlers as they hit an overhanging branch. He glanced up noticing that since he had been there that past fall one of the branches from the tree above had broken off and was precariously balanced between two of its still intact friends. He let out a huff, his breath showing white in the cold. He stood up, careful not to bump into the branch again, muttering to himself as he tried to figure out the best way to move the thing alone.

“If I lift it over that’a way…but then it will be too close to II’s nest…If I move it over there…No that won’t do.” He thought aloud as he looked around the clearing. So much of his friends lingered in this space. And he didn’t want to disturb any of it. He was the one who stayed behind in the winter to protect the land they called home when the others found sanctuary in warmer climates, he was the one who had to keep Eden safe. He took his job very seriously. Maybe too seriously. Possibly so seriously that he couldn’t decide to move this branch for fear it would somehow change everything in the grove of trees. Being an immortal being, time meant very little to him, so of course he didn’t notice that it had gone from midday to twilight by the time he decided what to do with the branch.

“I can break it in half, and put half by III’s rock and the other half by the cavern. That will be fine.” He said aloud as he decided what to do, a small grin on his face, exposing his fanged canines to the cold.

“Oh Well done, it only took you most of the day.” A familiar voice said from behind him. Vessel turned on his heel to see if it was truly who he expected.

“IV!? What? How? When did you get here?” Vessel yelped looking at the incorporeal figure that loomed behind him. He was excited to see his friend but that didn’t change the fact that he wasn’t expecting to see him at all.

“That’s my name, I’m still not fully sure what I am. I kinda float, at least I’m pretty sure that’s how I travel, and um I’ve been here watching you figure out the branch situation for about an hour.” IV replied cheekily answering all his half questions, a slight smirk in his voice. Vessel rolled his eyes and shook his head.

“Well, thank you for that explanation. I thought I wouldn’t be seeing any of you for a few more weeks at least. Or have I lost track of time that badly?” Vessel asked, the branch forgotten as he walked over to stand closer to his friend. He couldn’t exactly put an arm around IV like he could the others. He knew it required an amount of focus for him to keep a solid form for long periods of time. IV however knew how much Vessel needed to touch, to feel. He reached out and took the larger creature's hand, carefully making sure that his grip was solid.

“Eh, I got bored, and the cold isn’t as much of an issue for me as it is for the others.” IV paused for a second, running his thumb over the bony knuckles of his companion. “Also, I missed you.”

“And I you…I’m glad you’re here, it’s been cold here, colder without you all.” Vessel whispered, tightening his grip ever so slightly. Vessel couldn’t find the words to express how much this simple gesture meant, but part of him was aware that IV knew nonetheless. Looking down at their intertwined fingers they noticed white fluffy snowflakes landing on their skin, at the same time their gaze turned upward at the beginning of the snowfall. IV hummed thoughtfully.

“We should probably get this branch moved before we need to head to shelter, and don’t argue about that, I don’t care how much you can tolerate the cold. No reason to stand here and risk frostbite when there’s a perfectly good place to rest till the snow passes by.” IV preemptively reprimanded Vessel knowing the other man would argue given the chance. Vessel chuckled, the low melodic sound bringing joy to IV’s heart.

“Alright, alright. Let’s get this done.” Vessel turned to the task at hand, reluctantly letting go of his hand. “You know, you could have said something before I had stood around for an hour without a clue what to do about this.”

“And missed the opportunity to see the look on your face when you figured it out? Not a chance.”

~

Masterlist

Taglist: @silvernight-m @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @stellasplendens

[paper-mario-wiki]

I don't know if you've talked about this elsewhere already but was the break from streaming intentional and/or are you planning on returning to streaming some time in the foreseeable future? no pressure, I just miss your silly antics :o)

felt very burnt out from being someone who people are always lookin at all the time mostly! (and also a lot more reasons)

got a new job that pays just as well as streaming (which is enough to pay for rent in seattle with roommates, buy food for myself, and sometimes buy yet another japanese gamecube via online auction), and have been enjoying the feeling of not relying on anonymous teenagers and young adults who are just as poor as me on the internet for my income. It's something i was extremely grateful for, but it's not only a very infirm way to generate revenue on a reliable basis, but also i always felt an ever-present sense of guilt for it. like, instilling within other people who i know are in my tax bracket (one that is below the poverty line) the idea of "hey if you dont tip me for doing this free service, the quality of which is damningly subjective, I will be homeless. but no pressure haha" is something that i was never able to shake.

also like. performing is quite draining for me! the way i portray myself in my streams is EXTREMELY extroverted while, in my personal life, i prefer to spend 8 to 14 of my waking hours every day by myself in my room with my dog. i like the quiet, and i feel at peace most when i am not being perceived by other people.

lastly, i really dislike having inordinate levels of social power. for a several reasons. like, SEVERAL reasons. this is the longest section of this post.

8 years ago, i got way more famous than any 16 year old should ever be when i got tens of thousands of followers overnight for doing undertale shit. and i think it really fucked up my ability to make friends at a time where my only experience meeting new people was at school or at church, and i lived far enough out in the woods that i couldnt just go outside and hang out with the neighbors cuz the neighbors lived a mile away. my socializing skills in general are way more stilted than i'd prefer for someone my age. in private settings ive got my foot in my mouth a lot. and sometimes in public settings too! im sure if youve seen streams ive been on, youve seen plenty of "chase you really shouldnt have said that" moments. and youre probably right, i probably shouldnt have! my moment-to-moment gauge for what i should and shouldnt say is very slow to catch up cuz ive got like. advanced mental illnesses. like, im not joking when i say ive been formally diagnosed several times over by different doctors with shit ive never heard anybody ever talk about, online or otherwise.

i dont think that's an excuse to say heinous or cruel things by any means of course, but i also think that i should not rely on a job where there's constantly a microphone in my hand and an audience listening intently to what i say. im not at all pulling the "its okay that i say mean things because im mentawy iww" card. as a matter of fact i think it's not okay that i say them! and i feel very embarrassed when i do! the filter that separates "normal healthy thoughts" and "intrusive unhealthy thoughts" is thinner and more flimsy in my brain than in others.

ive only gotten this far because i surround myself with very smart, patient, and kind people, and by trying to be understanding and patient with others too. and ive begun apologizing to people a lot more. i dont like it when people are mad at me, and i dont like that for a long time i had professionally painted myself into a corner where im typically always the "heel" in comedy settings, because the "heel" is the guy everyone shits on all the time. i got this reputation not because i actively enjoy being mean, but because i learned to adapt to the aforementioned "clinically unreliable intrusive thoughts filter" by realizing i would say things that came across as mean, and in real time exaggerating that it into a character that people could shoot back at without feeling guilty while still having fun. theres nothing that ruins a good time quite like someone who is constantly apologizing for doing something wrong, and then continuing to do that wrong thing anyway. dont misunderstand, i absolutely adore dunking on weenies when everyone can get a good laugh out of it (like tumblr anons, who i think should be classified as prokariyotic invertebrates and not people (no offense)) but even though it's a joke it still feels very bad when that's expected of me when i walk into a room. because if i walk into a room, and everyone expects me to be an asshole, everyone is on the defensive before i say anything, and sometimes they take shots at me when im not trying to "play". even worse, if im a heel in a setting where it's expected of me and someone cant really keep up with "the bit" then that just means im being an asshole to someone who cant or doesnt have the energy to fight back. and not just any asshole, an asshole who has had nearly a decade of professional experience being a paid asshole.

if im being frank, i dont know if i'll come back in a full capacity. i might! im not ruling that out! and you'll probably still see me pop up in my friends streams, because i did LOVE what i did for a very long time! but after i took my "break" in december after being more stressed than ive ever been, and i knew it was no longer financially necessary for me to livestream, i had the thought "i will go back to streaming when i find within myself a desire to do so" and ya know what? i havent yet.

and DO NOT FUCKING BOTHER MY FRIENDS ABOUT THIS. if you post a fucking "hey have u heard what chase said" message in their chat or in their DMs or anything, im not joking when i say you are actively being the kind of person i changed my career to avoid! fuck you, for real! stop trying to interface with them to get some new piece of information or opinion about me you fucking weirdo! they'll talk about me if they want to, but going to someone who is doing their own thing and asking them to instead comment on someone else it is ALWAYS fucking annoying. if you want to think about me, do it by yourself! or ask me directly! or do it in the comment section of a video im in! or write a fanfiction about me and then throw it away!

but if ur not that kind of person then ur cool dont worry.

anywho! im sorry if this is a bummer to read. but that's the full skinny.

im still posting regularly on twitter (clown_depot)! and if i DO go live, either on my twitch channel or on a friend's stream, it will be posted there!

thanks for watching :^]

im not goin radio silent, im just gonna turn off the electric window that lets people see me for a while.

[rosearcanaeum]

(Ten) people I'd like to know better

Tagged by: @screechingfromthevoid <3

Last song: Far From Me by Chase Noseworthy is just on repeat. Sad boy Vax and perfect for my range!

Favorite color: it really depends on context honestly. But the most general is soft pink.

Last book: 😅 I've been struggling through Nein Eyes of Lucien for a while.... more honestly its Call of the Netherdeep and Explorers Guide to Wildemount. I truely read far more fanfic than anything else.

Last movie: I watched Night at the Museum for the first time this week. It was waaaaaay better than I ever imagined. I knew it was good and funny. It was also incredibly sincere and I can't get enough of that.

Last show: speaking of sincere, I'm about halfway through Frieren: beyond journey's end. And holy shit! I have never seen any media with a character who views and interacts with death the way i do. Its pretty heavy as shows go but its trustworthy. (I have a hard time with new stuff most of the time. Cr is one exception and this is too apparently)

Sweet/spicy/savory: no joke I've eaten salt before lol. But i prefer combos or all 3. Sweet spicy is underrated.

Relationship status: I live with my queer platonic partner. Its still just buckwild to me. As a kid i hated the idea of living with a partner cuz i didnt want so many aspects of what i was told that looked like. But hey guess what, y'all can decide what your relationships look like. We have separate rooms, are not sexually involved, rarely even touch tbh. And we love each other very much and want to grow old together in a house with cats.

They're touch averse and I'm sensory seeking. My fun Sunday night (out dancing) is their nightmare. But because we are who we are and how we understand and communicate in our relationship we rely on each other for only things that are available. I'll tell them all the dumb shit i see and do on Grindr and we'll sit on the couch and knit together.

Also my brain nearly explodes everytime I realize not only do we do couple stuff, we have couple friends we do couple stuff with. 18 year old me would have never believed you if you told them.

Last thing I looked up: I looked up the caffeine content of the thai tea concentrate I got my partner to see if i could try it. And shockingly i should be able to. Still gonna eat first and be careful though.

Current obsession: I'm pretty spread out rn, unusually. Ive got a sweater im excited about. And I'm on my 3rd attempt at a dorym water bottle sleeve I'm designing. This one should work now. Honestly dorym is probably no. 1 on my list. I shipped that back in exu, along with a bunch of stuff cuz I'm a delightful multishipper. So i feel particularly excited about dorym finally taking off. But also that while dorian was always looking to orym if anything else had come along he was there for the ride. I love robbie so so much. He is such a good character storyteller!

Looking forward to: today im hanging with 2 friends im usually in a larger group with so thats gonna be fun. Looking forward to baking off the beef wellingtons i made for my partner for xmas. And im looking forward to being able to work full time again in the new year. Ive been on part time for health reasons and stayed because i was spending hours on the phone fighting for insurance coverage. Now that both a done i can work more. I love my job and its a particular kind of boredom that i get when i cant work. Lol speaking of, im looking forward to the holidays being over. The office closures normally screw us but now im only working thurs fri for the next 2 weeks and I'll have try really hard to keep busy enough. At least my partner has 2 of the days off with me!

No pressure tags; not sure I can get to 10 and please dont feel obligated but I'd love to see yours (if you havent already. Ive been avoiding spoilers a lot recently so may not have seen it): @vigilante-apologist @standbyyourmantis @soedblackchaos @forestthechonkykitty @corrrvid @local-redhead-bookworm and luddles looks like you did already do this.

Thats all i got. If you see this and want to do it, consider yourself tagged!

[mooseung]

୨୧ winter’s date !

ch. 1 : halloween night

kwak jiseok (gaon)

ᨳ you and jiseok decide to attend all the christmas festivities pretending to be a couple just for the extra butterflies. it ends on new year’s day, then you’ll go back to being good friends.

next chapter ->

❆ no one would believe me if i said ive been working on this fic idea for five years man

❆ sounds like a hallmark movie but i say we keep making christmas romance stories fun silly and dumb

❆ i’ve never committed to chapter stuff before but surely it goes well since i know where it’s going *nodding*

it's the second best holiday of the year. aligned trees now enter the process of stripping their colorful leaves that now hang lifelessly off the branches. fuzzy boots follows the trail of the fallen leaves, and the harmonizing crunches down the street creates the soft melody of sweet autumn.

pumpkin meadows flourish in popularity. the scent of cinnamon and apples wraps a steam blanket around a pie tent. the air is something you've been craving for months now; it’s given you a crisp feeling that brings you warm comfort.

you’ve been able to attend all the fall festivities this year. your carved pumpkin sits outside your apartment, a singular light flickering your creature to life. you ranked all the pies you’ve tried this month, with apple sitting on its throne untouched. funnily enough, you also apple picked at a local farm. the assortment of your favorite fruit piles inside your fridge, their crystal glow enticing you every single time you look at them.

but all these activities you’ve done alone. your autumn checklist was too ambitious, and midterms shifted your availability to avoid your friends’ invitations. that’s why when the very last day of october arrived, your best friend forced you to make an exception for her. the halloween bash she's hosting is not a cozy one, but you have to do something fun and social before marbles start getting lost.

mingi is your only friend from the university, which you think is imperative when it comes to the reputation of this school. social gatherings is a pledged promise of the students; there are always grand events happening around campus, and the committee never finds it in themselves to lose creativity. in turn the students feel more like community, and the friend groups tend to be large. mingi's house party depicts that principle perfectly. even more, not a single person in here is worried about midterms.

as you look through the sweaty piles of people, you find some familiar faces from your fair share of group projects and school events. the few conversations are brief and soon enough you're stuck alone, waiting for your only friend to tend to you while keeping her house afloat with the large crowd.

"hey, you made it!"

she's one of the fairies from tinker bell - one that you can't seem to remember. nonetheless your lips curve wide after she's found you sulking on her couch.

"what a crazy party! do you know all these people?" you think this is the loudest you've been, trying to talk to her over both the music and her adrenaline.

mingi shrugs, plopping herself next to you as her arm wraps around yours. "are you bored? you should be mingling!"

"i feel a bit too embarrassed."

the two of you look over your body. it's a simple green princess gown that doesn't seem to draw immediate attention. however, if you get it...

"WOAH, you're princess fiona! WOAH."

mingi laughs, a little too hard. you playfully shove her as your ears burn up, "it’s too silly, isn’t it..."

her hand grasps your arm as she drags you into the kitchen. for now it's empty, and the table holds all the hard liquor and fruity drinks you could think of. "just drink a bit! loosen up, have fun~"

there's no time to protest. you're left stranded next to the island that holds all the drinks, many of which are unfamiliar to you. it takes you a minute to grab one, just for you to let go of it and stare at the selection as students filter in and out.

"it's a little overwhelming, right?"

the voice feels soft, yet you hear it clearly over the music. when you turn to your left, the girl who spoke matches her voice perfectly. a pouty smile sitting perfectly underneath her brown doe eyes. her hair is a bright hazel that innocently sits as a single braid, tiny strands of hair peering out of the tucked in look. along with her grin, a faded blush bounces on her cheeks; it seems to be from romand rather than any liquor.

she's the cutest, it brings you to match her smile. "ah, it really is."

your eyes continue to observe the woman; you notice the familiar costume she's wearing. it's a green sleeved dress with little gold embellishments. a laugh quickly breathes out of your lips, and she giggles at your quick notice.

"fiona must've been a popular choice this year, huh?"

she laughs at your remark and replies, "you're pulling it off so much better though." you can tell her intentions are to make you feel like the prettiest princess there, and now your own shade of romand blush colors your cheeks. "i'm mingi's cousin, yeona!"

you gasp, "oh, i've heard about you!" you already find yourself in a bow, greeting her formally. "i'm y/n, a friend of mingi's. it's nice to meet you."

she mirrors you completely, and the air finally feels comfortable for the first time since you've walked into this party. you find yourself sitting there, chatting with the girl as the two of you find plenty of common ground. yeona is a violinist attending a prestigious musical arts university just right around the corner of your school. the students tend to be quiet and elegant, and while yeona doesn't really fit the elegance she is soft-spoken like the rest of her peers. but her aura is comforting, and your energies match like puzzle pieces. for instance, she's an avid watcher of kdramas like yourself. it led the two of you to discuss your harsh disappointments among the catalog, your first target being infamous love alarm.

yeona learns much about you too. you attend a social school simply because it's a common one, and perhaps the easiest one to get into. out of all the majors that were presented to you, the winning choice became natural sciences after a coin flip. you haven't quite figured out where you want to be in ten years, and you're content with taking your time. the only thing you want to do is enjoy your time before life becomes a consuming loop of work.

yeona notes that and studies your personality more. you tend to find yourselves on the slice-of-life dramas, and your taste in books are hopeless romantic core. a pattern begins to illustrate itself.

you both find yourselves lounging around the kitchen for quite a while, your conversations being fueled by admiring the many costumes that flutter into the kitchen every now and then. neither of you take another glance at the drinks beside you, and eventually you agree that it's not a priority to drink heavy. you feel like you've found your other half.

after twenty minutes, something interesting happens. a duo of boys arrive, their loud laughs halting your conversation as your eyes peer out of curiosity. both are wearing a garment that you're unable to piece together for a while. but then it hits you; the bulky, round fabric mimics the crisps of the iconic kid's food.

unlike the other visitors, the pair of boys spot you and yeona and engage in conversation.

"oh - you're both princess fiona!"

he's the shorter of the two. his hair is a bright blonde and his cheeks high and defined. yet the look he shoots you guys is pure astonishment and amusement. he's gripping his friend in excitement, a boy who's also bouncing. this boy has darker locks of luscious hair that tuck right behind his ears. his almond eyes sparkle and he equips a wide smile, all 32 teeth shining brighter than those eyes.

and they are dressed up as, "chicken nuggets?"

their surprise grows, "yes! you're the first person to actually get it."

you and yeona gently glance at each other as the two celebrate their victory which only conducted further hops and laughter. when they're finished, they approach the drinks and stare with their arms crossed and their seriousness suddenly skyrocketed. you feel like you're watching a sitcom, wondering how people can be this bubbly and animated in person. but it's funny.

"okay jooyeon. which one of these is our first target? this decision is incredibly important and will impact how the rest of our night goes..."

"...i've never had any of these before. AH, kool-aid though!"

the blonde wiggles his arms, "i was thinking the same thing."

the duet proceeds to grab the jug of fruit punch, one that's meant for mixing alcohol into but instead is poured sober. they take their swigs and scream in unison when done, like drinking nonalcoholic kool-aid was the biggest thrill of their life.

you can't help but laugh out loud, and it gives yeona the courage to talk to them, "isn't it just plain kool-aid?"

the taller one, who you've concluded is jooyeon, grins as he points at yeona. "it tastes better than vodka!"

you're nodding along, "and beer."

yeona loudly agrees with you; a true hater of beer.

"i think beer is yummy." the odd one out frowns, going in to pour himself another shot of the virgin fruit juice.

jooyeon shoves him, "jiseok's actually just a freak."

"you scream at vegetables."

jooyeon suddenly gets loud, "YOU DON'T GET IT!"

the room laughs comfortably. yeona covering his face and you slap your knees, the air is light.

"i'm yeona, mingi's cousin."

you’d feel awkward not to follow yeona’s introduction, "i'm y/n."

the boys have a kind smile at your introductions, and introduce themselves despite knowing you've already used context clues to put a name to their faces.

"how do you guys know mingi?" yeona asks.

jiseok turns to jooyeon who answers, "we used to be group mates for a writing class and we became casual friends." jooyeon then nudges to his friend, "he's just my plus one."

"in the non-romantic way." jiseok adds.

you mention, "trying to distract us from the couple's outfit, huh?"

his hands fly up defensively, "no no, i promise this makes sense."

jooyeon straightens his posture, holding his friend's shoulder as he presents themselves, "we do this podcast called nugget time. it's a bit popular around campus."

"WOAH, i've heard about it actually." you laugh. "it's like we're meeting celebrities right now..."

jiseok wiggles his eyebrows, "do you want our autograph?"

yeona cuts in, "actually, it's popular around mine too! many of the students think it's too childish and immature, but everyone there is also pretty stuck up." she shines a smile as she gives a thumbs up, "personally, i like it a lot. you guys are doing very well!"

it’s a cliche move, but jooyeon feels his heart lighten. a surprise attack of butterflies invade his stomach until his cheeks burn. his eyes fall softly as they stare at the girl who chose not to follow the stale crowd, and instead express her support for his pride and joy. he's in a daze for a minute, lost in discovering her delightful features. "aha, thank you."

jiseok's a lot more normal when he thanks the girl, but he notices how stiff his friend becomes at the compliment. a small grin compliments his face. he internally puts himself in a tuxedo with the coolest pair of sunglasses as he suggests, "do you guys mind if we hang around here with you?"

the coolest wingman.

you can't help but feel proud of yourself for meeting new people, and getting lucky enough they were a funny and kind bunch. your shoulders have inched behind you, relaxed and no longer tense from earlier. your smile creeps up naturally and responses fly out of your mouth easily. it surprises you when an hour passes of general conversation carried by boiling chemistry and fruit punch.

the house roars, snapping all your attentions to the living room. what probably started off as sober laughs have become drunk wails. aggregation becomes the look of the dance floors as drunk men start to shove one another for who knows why. your ears catch onto the occasional glass shatters and you briefly wince, "ough, it's getting kinda loud in here."

jooyeon tilts his head, "you're right... should we go outside?"

yeona leans in, nodding to express her interest in the offer.

it's a hassle. your newly formed crew attempts to slither past the sea of sweaty students without getting dragged in by any drunk sharks. jiseok locks his hands on top of jooyeon shoulders, creating their lonely conga line of two. they get further than you and yeona, who are caught by a hungry one.

"y/n! yeona! are you leaving already?"

mingi's cheeks are a dangerous color of red. pale lipstick smudges all over the lid of her red solo cup, and beads of sweat twinkle on of her round nose.

you simply nod, sparing her an apologetic smile. you clear up, "we're just heading outside!"

"okay!" she clears the rest of the liquid in her cup in one quick swig. "i'll come too!"

yeona leans in to her ear, "are you sure? this is your party!"

mingi shakes her head as she pushes the two of you until you're all standing outside, breathing fresh air. "it's too hectic in there; i don't wanna deal with it."

jooyeon and jiseok are walking in place as the duo waited for your arrivals. their bright smiles greet the host who looked them up and down a couple of times before shrugging. jooyeon shouted, "nuggets!" 

"OHH...kay?"

you and yeona snicker, and mingi just rolls her eyes at the reactions. after a while you plop yourself on the grass, relief unable to hide itself once you're finally able to hear the silly voices in your head once again. one being, "aghh, i can't believe you had no candy in there mingi! it's like you wanted me dead or something..."

"well!" she lightly laughes, seating herself right beside you as her arms wrap to embrace you lovingly. "i'm sorry."

"could've gone trick-or treating instead..."

"at the age of 23?"

"your problem?"

yeona cuts in, "you're never too old to go trick-or treating!"

you and yeona hold each other's hand in solidarity. the bit is funny to you two, and she developed a weird craving for candy as soon as you mentioned it.

mingi defeatedly sighs, peering her head to watch her neighborhood streets. they're not totally vacant; a handful of children happily scurry around with buckets or full-sized candy brimming to the top. occasionally their innocent eyes would swipe over mingi's house, one that's overly decorated for the occasion but very much not an open source to candy. you would defend this inference.

"there still might be time...should we go?"

jiseok's suggestion sprouted from watching the groups of kids flutter in happiness with their newly-acquired snacks. he also grasped onto the size, not afraid to admit that mingi seemed to live in a wealthier neighborhood. if an opportunity ever showed itself prominently, this was it. he's also a boy who craves these types of spontaneous activities; a group of college kids politely robbing rich people of their candy just to live up to halloween's truest image.

to be honest, you felt the same way. you wanted to feel your heart skip at the sound of candy stacking itself into your bag - one that you don't have. "wait, but how will we carry the candy?" 

-

it's an hour later. chocolate, sour, and sweet all ride up to the tip of your red solo cups. you guys only hold two cups per person, but it remains mingi's brightest idea up until the moment the crew realized this neighborhood was indeed not a judgement free zone.

"this mom just stared me down...do you think she wants me?" yeona piques, a smile cracking through her chapped lips. jooyeon, high off excitement, laughs as his body leans against her momentarily.

you're staring at something else though: jiseok's red solo cup. there's a sour patch topping his stack, beautifully beaming like a shiny cherry. after digging through your own, you feel a childish envy crawl all over you skin. "augh, you got a sour patch..."

jiseok doesn't spare a second, scoring the piece of candy right into your hands. your ounce of adulthood flickers back, and you throw it back to him. "oh no, it's okay!"

it hits you back, "no, have it!"

you laugh, guilt building up. "jiseok, don't worry! i can buy my own."

"im going to glue it to your hand."

you launch it to his shoulder in a rough manner, "enjoy it for me~"

as the bickering lives on, everyone lays down on mingi's lawn. candy sprawls out, like how it would on a kitchen table while your mother sniffs for any dangerous pieces. except it's college students, with the security checkpoint half way down their stomachs.

"mingi...right?"

there's a boy standing over the said girl. her eyes, slightly bloodshot, stare at him as if he's a hallucination. she treats it as one too; not a word passes through her lips. the boy uncomfortably shifts at her silence after a couple seconds. his hand reaches for the back of his nape, cooling the heat of embarrassment as all five pairs of eyes watch over him.

"oh, sorry. i uh...came to this party with one of your friends, but im not sure where she went... i was hoping you'd know?"

"who..?" mingi's host voice appears.

"ari."

"ARI'S HERE?"

the boy sheepishly laughs, "i mean...i hope she is."

mingi doesn't listen to him. instead she's attempting to get up, her dress riding up in all the wrong places. her spilled candies dig into the grass as she accidentally steps on them. she quietly murmurs something that nobody is able to decipher. what's heard is the small exchange she performs with the boy, "oh, and who are you?"

"jungsu. ari's my sister."

"ARI HAS A SISTER?"

"n-no, i'm her BROTHER."

the conversation feathers away as the pair dives into the abyss of the house. it will be the last time the group hears of mingi for the rest of the night.

jooyeon's heart quickens as candy plunges into his stomach. yeona watches him quietly for a while. that's when she points, "after this, you'll be having salad for days."

jiseok huffs, "jooyeon wouldn't go in a ten-foot radius of a piece of lettuce!"

the victim nods, turning to yeona with a sense of pride, "you couldn't pay me enough money to eat a salad. sorry." 

yeona nudges him, "you're just not having the yummy ones. i'll show you the good ones and change your mind! just you wait."

jooyeon doubts so, but he can't help but fall helpless to her commitment. he would try anything if it meant he could be around her more. that's why the veggie hater replies to the threat, "i'm open for that, let's do it!"

jiseok stares at his cup that's now lighter. a bright colored wrapper catches his eye, and he smiles to himself. he fixes his position, now sitting at curb of the road as his legs dangle outside his bulky costume.

"y/n, come!"

you crawl until you’re beside him, knees brought close to your chest as you wait. jiseok rips the wrapper down the side, and offers you access to the sour patch candies. "let's share the bag~"

your mouth widens, "wait really? are you okay with that?"

he nods, trying his best to convey his genuine smile just so you'd know. it's enough to get you thanking him over and over again, just until the sour hits your tongue and satisfies that specific craving.

jiseok rolls his eyes, "it's more fun to share stuff, right?"

"it's nice…thank you~"

it's a childish scene, one that brings soft smiles to both of your faces. because it's comfortable, familiar. fun.

[theadventurek9]

I've been struggling with such overwhelming guilt with Ryker lately. I've created such a negative mindset around him and training.

While I have been practicing 'good' training and he is improving with his training confidence a lot. I still am not in a good mental headspace when even talking about his training.

I was talking with a friend while out on a training outing and spent so much time just talking about things were improving but only okay, that he still struggled and how sad I was that I couldn't even look forward to any training dreams with him. I've also told my husband several times that I don't even think Ryker likes me much. I just happen to be the person that provides for him.

We experimented with him working with her and while he still showed some signs of stress with her (she mostly was just working on toy mechanics) she also was saying how fun he was since some of his goofy side did come out.

Why can't I think like that? How am I such a bad trainer that I can't just accept who he is and see how far he has come, the progress he has made and how fun he can be a lot of the time. It honestly has me wanting to close my own business because I feel like I have no right to train other people when I can't even do good by my own dog.

I'm trying so hard this year to just enjoy him. To just play and set both of us up for success. To bring joy into training as much as possible and to try and get rid of the precision portion of training.

Ive also been pulling away from everything. I've pulled away from hanging out with training buddies, pulled away from recording training videos, pulled away from trying to think of things to work on, pulled away from dreaming of cool things to do with my dogs, pulled away from all of it. I need to stop that as well.

Ryker is a good dog. He can learn things. He will be able to compete in agility and probably low level obedience and rally.

[fernandopiastri28]

quand c’est - part 5 ~ ln4 x op81

part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7, part 8

Damage? Fuck. Shit. Fucking shit. “Will I be able to drive again?” Lando’s voice raises and wobbles, tears he can’t even feel dribbling down his cheeks. He doesn’t want to imagine a life without racing. He’s only just gotten his first win a few months back, he can’t lose it all now.

warnings: major illness, cancer, sickness, brain damage

Lando’s body feels fuzzy- if that’s possible.

Where is he?

He should be in the car, he knows he hasn’t finished the race yet. He still has a chance- he’s doing so well, he’s guaranteed at least 6 points.

So why can’t he move an inch? Why can’t he feel the familiar rumble of the car underneath him? Why can he just see chipping white paint above him for as far as he can see?

“He just- he doesn’t know when to say when, and-and it scares me,” There’s a stammering and choked voice cutting through the painful silence of the room. It’s one he knows just as well as he knows his own.

But right now, everything feels unfamiliar. His hearing feels like an old recorded tape, his teeth feel like they’ve been awkwardly shoved into his mouth, and his body- just isn’t his.

Bile shoots up his throat, and he feels immobilised. He can’t turn his head to cough or vomit it out- it’s like he’s frozen in place. He’s in a hospital, he can figure out that much. There’s an IV in his hand and a drip attached, slow trickles of water making their way into his system.

“Like- he fucking knows he’s unwell- he’s on the brink of death, but he’s too proud to ever accept it,” Who ever it is is clearly on the phone, passionately ranting about someone who Lando can only assume is himself.

Lando should’ve expected that. He let down a whole lot of people in Singapore. Himself- first off, the whole McLaren team- especially Zac and Andrea, all the McLaren fans who’d paid good money to see him race tonight and he’d just bombed it.

Most of all- he knows he has disappointed Oscar.

Maybe that’s who’s talking. “And I- I worry about him, all the fucking time. He never lets himself fully recover from anything. Las Vegas last year- he insisted on going out clubbing like two days later. In Amsterdam when he got that fucking cut on his nose and didn’t let anyone clean him up so now he’s got a permanent scar on his nose.”

Oscar’s still in the car. It must be Jon.

“He just- he won’t let anyone take care of him- even me. I just, I just wish he knew how willing I would be. I would drop anything to make sure he’s alright. Like-” Whoever it is is struggling to speak clearly, their voice stuffy and thick with tears. Lando feels awful, not just his body, but because he knows that this is his own doing.

The voice goes silent for a while, the noise of someone on the other end of the line quietly speaking sounds nothing more than a mumble to Lando. It almost feels like his ears have been stuffed with cotton.

“I’m just worried about him, Logan,” Logan? Why on earth would Logan be out of the car and on the phone. Better yet, why is Jon calling Logan Sargeant?

“Oscar?” Lando’s voice seems foreign, not attached to himself.

“Holy sh- Logan, he’s awake, I’ve gotta go,” Oscar hangs up the phone, rushing to Lando’s side to cling onto the edge of his hospital bed. “Lans,” He whispers, wiping his hand over the brit’s forehead. “How are you feeling?”

Lando spaces out, Oscar’s face becoming a blurry sight. “Why am I not in the car?”

Oscar looks away, chewing at his bottom lip. He’s being avoidant, trying to think of a way to let Lando down slowly- whatever the reason is.

“You crashed into Fernando.”

“Alonso?”

“No, Gasly.” He replies stone faced, “Of course Alonso,” Oscar’s face softens, a small smile appearing.

Lando grins for a moment, rolling his eyes. It falters when it sinks in what Oscar just said. You crashed into Fernando, not Fernando crashed into you. It was Lando’s fault.

“Why’d I crash? Was it wet out?” Memories of Sochi fill his head, fucking rain ruining his races. “Was there something wrong with the car?” He wants to be logical, and he’s trying to do that the best he can, but it all feels unexplainable. He can’t have crashed, there’s just no way.

“They think that-” Oscar shuts his eyes for a moment, and Lando can properly see his features again. Pale cheeks dusted an angry red, stained with tear drops. Brown eyes, watery and sore. A mess of hair on top of his head, much like how it normally sits after a race. “They think you had a seizure,”

What. The. Fuck.

“A what?” Lando knew what Oscar had said, but it was easier to play dumb, to pretend he didn’t have a clue as to what the younger boy was talking about. It was easier to play pretend.

Lando had never had a seizure before, nor did he have a history of seizures in his family. It just wasn’t possible.

“A seizure,” Fucking thanks Oscar, I did hear you the first time. “They’ve done a few tests on your head so..” Oscar’s tongue prods at the inside of his cheek, like he’s trying to avoid saying something. “They’re just seeing if there was any damage.

Damage? Fuck. Shit. Fucking shit. “Will I be able to drive again?” Lando’s voice raises and wobbles, tears he can’t even feel dribbling down his cheeks. He doesn’t want to imagine a life without racing. He’s only just gotten his first win a few months back, he can’t lose it all now.

Oscar sucks on his bottom lip, his teeth poking out on top of it slightly, “Don’t worry Lando,” He reaches over, hugging Lando to his chest tightly, “The doctors are taking good care of you, I’ll take care of you, I promise you will race again,”

Lando has never known Oscar to lie. If Oscar is promising that Lando will race again, Lando will race again.

A bubble forms in Lando’s throat, choking him, “I’m so sorry, Osc,” Oscar’s eyes immediately go wide with panic, unsure as to why Lando’s apologising. “I sh-should’ve listened to you, I’m such a fucking idiot,”

It’s because it’s clicking now- Oscar was complaining to Logan about how he never listens to him. He’s right, Lando is an awful boyfriend who doesn’t know how to fucking take care of himself. They’re supposed to be a couple, yet it’s more like Oscar’s his caretaker, and Lando hates himself for being Oscar in that position.

“Oh, Lans,” His voice is breathy as he drags his fingers along Lando’s cheek, soft and faint. “It’s okay, you’ll be okay, I’m not mad,” He kisses Lando’s forehead, his eyes studying each twitch Lando’s face makes.

Oscar’s not mad, but he’s definitely disappointed.

You stupid fuck, Lando Norris.

“Okay,” His voice halters, a forced response. They both go silent after that, Oscar holding Lando’s right hand in his own, kissing the back of the Brit's hand every so often.

Lando stares up at the ceiling. It’s better than looking at Oscar who just looks so broken and concerned. Lando will only hate himself more and more if he looks at Oscar, looks at who he let down.

“Mr Piastri, Mr Norris,” A doctor announces her presence in the room with a barely there knock on the door. It’s been a few hours of Lando laying and staring at the ceiling, he can only assume based on how it’s beginning to become bright outside. Lando tilts his head up, only then noticing that the pain in his head is almost fully gone.

Being doped up is a good feeling.

“Yes?” Oscar looks towards her, keeping Lando’s hand in his. He licks his lips, holding his breath in anticipation. He knows he needs to stay calm, he needs to stay strong for Lando no matter what the doctor says.

The doctor sucks in a deep breath. She looks no older than 25, which realistically she must be, but she looks only just older than the two boys. She looks like an experienced kid- just as Lando is, just like what he pretends he isn’t. "Mr. Norris, I have some upsetting news,”

Oscar looks at Lando, and Lando doesn;t meet his eyes. He knows that ‘upsetting’ doesn’t even begin to describe whatever he’s about to hear. He’s heard horror stories from acquaintances, he’s watched movies and shows. He knows they’re sugar coating whatever it is.

“So, we were correct- you suffered a tonic-clonic seizure during the race, just as you made contact with..” She trails off, unsure of the name of the driver Lando crashed into. He feels mortified, fucking crashing into the two time world champion of Fernando Alonso. Having a seizure and crashing into Alonso.

“And with the results of your recent MRI- they have detected a mass in the frontal lobe of your brain,” Lando’s eyebrows tighten and Oscar squeezes his hand, grounds him.” And it appears to be malignant,”

Lando doesn’t consider himself a particularly smart guy, and usually, it’s to his disadvantage. Yet, for once, his lack of knowledge for what malignant is means that he gets to stay in that sheltered bubble of nothing is wrong for just a bit longer.

He can pretend nothing is wrong, just for a few moments.

“We have several treatment options, including surgery and chemotherapy, which we can discuss in further detail if you have any questions about them.” Lando feels a tug in his hand, Oscar lurching forward in a sob. It’s bad, malignant must mean it’s bad.

He’s not going to let himself feel it. “Chemo?” Oscar’s voice cracks.

“We fear it has already developed to stage 1 brain cancer,”

Norris's lead is up to 4.5s now with 11 laps to go. Could his 110th grand prix be the occasion of his first victory?

“We are here to support you through every step of this process.”

Norris has finished second eight times and has 15 podiums to his name without winning. Could this finally be the day his luck turns? They're counting down the laps nervously at McLaren.

The door clicks shut and Oscar buries his face into Lando’s chest, “Oh my god Lando, Lans, I’m so sorry,”

Norris's lead ticks past the six seconds mark. Four laps to go and McLaren are practising their best poker faces on the pit wall. Not an inkling of a smile just yet on the face of Zak Brown.

“I love you Lando, I love you and I’m gonna- we’re gonna do this together, you’re gonna get better,”

Three laps to go for Norris. He's under no pressure from behind.

“You’re gonna race again, I promise you,”

Two to go now before F1 has a new race winner.

“You’re gonna win again, we're gonna be on the podium again together,”

Norris is onto his final lap. He can almost push it home from here.

“You’re gonna be a champion, Lans, a world champion,”

Across the line comes Lando Norris to win the 2024 F1 Miami Grand Prix! It's the first grand prix win of his career, and the first for McLaren since Monza 2021, when Daniel Ricciardo hit the top step.

Oscar’s a fucking liar and an idealist. Lando’s not gonna race again, if the brain cancer doesn’t kill him, it’s gonna leave him a shell of the man he once was.

He’s already not the Lando Norris, he’s hardly even Lando.

He’s just sick.

[my-castles-crumbling]

Anon Advice Asks - February 6

24 anon, outlet anon, spoon anon, 8 years anon (new), lawyer anon (new), guess anon

24 anon

hi cas, its 24 anon again. its been a while so i dont know if you remember lol. my friend had her baby and i still haven't met him (mostly bc ive been horrifically sick since before she even had him so im not about to give them whatever germs i have lol). i kind of feel like im at my breaking point lately. ive not cut her off entirely, but i have distracted from my friend a bit because i went into her having a baby trying to think 'this is a major thing and she's going to be down and out for a while so she obviously wont be trying to make plans' but apparently i was wrong bc im seeing posts on facebook and snapchat of her going out and doing things and having get togethers with her other friends and im just. i dont even hear about these plans let alone get invited to anything ever. i dont want to sound entitled to her time and effort but am i really her 'best friend' if she never wants to hang out or talk to me unless i initiate and plan? if she never tells me a single thing about her life and im always the last to know? if ive talked to her about this time and time again without any change whatsoever? im tired of talking to her about this because i know it wont change anything. my best friend had a baby and i wont ever actually get to know him. my heart is genuinely broken. i dont have any other friends to talk to. literally. at this point in my life i have lost every single friend ive ever had except for her but apparently ive never really had her to begin with. im so tired of being fucking lonely but i dont know ehat to do anymore. ive never been able to make or keep friends and i feel like im going fucking crazy. what is it thats so wrong with me that makes me consistently not worth peoples effort to keep around? i feel like im victimizing myself right now but i genuinely feel like i try SO HARD to maintain friendships - talking to them, trying to make plans, etc. etc. and that just never gets returned back to me. im tired of pretending im fine with that. im just fucking tired. i havent been able to talk to my therapist in months and ive only had myself for company for YEARS. i cant fo this anymore cas

Hi <3

Honestly I can relate to this SO much. I have a friend who I was very close to who had a baby a few years back and it's definitely changed our dynamic. Imo, the problem is now, we have different priorities. And that's not WRONG, it's just how it is, so it's changing how we interact.

I don't think my friend hates me and I don't think your friend hates you either. It's just one of those things where like...people get hurt but nobody means to hurt anyone. And it's very hard not to take things personally but it probably isn't as personal as it feels.

I know none of this makes you feel any better, but I just want you to know I'm going through the same thing and I understand. If you ever want to talk about it, please feel free to DM me- I'd love to have someone to talk about it with too <3

______________________

Outlet anon

Hey Cas, outlet anon here. I need help.

So I'm staying with my mother for a few weeks while my place gets some work done, and that means I'm in the same house as Al, which is fine and whatever. I don't acknowledge him, he doesn't acknowledge me. It's a mutual understanding and has been for years. Or so I thought???? He addressed me BY NAME for the first time since I was THIRTEEN to ask me to move my laundry, and he didn't yell at me when I ignored him the first two times. We haven't even spoken since I was thirteen. He's also been talking at me and saying things for my benefit. Like last night, Al and my mother were watching robot fighting with my siblings and I went down to see what was going on because I heard them yelling. Al saw me and told my mother to rewind the TV so I could see the whole fight. I didn't express any interest in the show nor ask anyone to rewind it. He just... did it??? I don't know what's going on or what he thinks is going on. I'm going to keep right on ignoring him and pretending like he doesn't exist, but like thoughts? What should I do? What do you think is going on????? Help??????????

Honestly, it's great that Al seems to be trying to be nicer, but I'd be a bit weary. Like don't be rude to him about it or shit on him for being nice, but you don't suddenly need to be nice because he is. You're allowed to to take some time to build trust (if you even want to). The way he's treated you in the past doesn't warrant instant forgiveness (unless you want to, of course), so just go with what feels good to you and don't feel guilty for however much time you need. And if he ends up getting pissed about it...well, then he didn't really change in the first place.

_________________

Spoon Anon

hi cas it's spoon anon

well i've been looking at self diagnosis tests like yk those online quizzes you have. some say i have a lot of symptoms of autism and others say that i have low-medium autism so idk atp. according to the oxford cbt self assessment quizzes, i have medium-high anxiety and depression and low-medium autism and adhd.

and i've been thinking if i should maybe actually go to a psychiatrist and see if my suspicions are correct. but then there's the part where i need to convince my mom. there's a major school event happening until the end of february so maybe i'll ask her if we can go sometime in march? several of my friends have actually seen psychiatrists and i'll just say that i want to just check once if there's anything that i might be diagnosed with.

i'm going to go out on a limb here and ask if you think i have autism or not from what i've told you. adhd there's a pretty low chance of me actually having that i don't really show any symptoms except getting distracted easily. depression and anxiety, if i'm going to be honest, maybe. idk my country's culture has given me a skewed view of what will actually fall under a mental health problem.

Hi! I think asking your mom is a great idea. It sounds like it's really important to you to know for sure, so I think you absolutely should.

As far as what I think...I'm sorry hon but I'm not a professional and I don't know you very well. But like I said I think it sounds super important to you to know for sure, so you should def ask to get evaluated.

___________________

8 years anon

This actually takes so much courage to type this out but I feel like this is the right place to say it and plus I don't really know where else to say it.

So sometimes my bestfriend (of 8 years) really just ticks me off in a really nasty way. Like I feel awful every single time I feel this way but sometimes he just does stuff that like I don't know if he does it intentionally or not or if I'm just overreacting but sometimes he like takes things I consider "mine" ?? If that's an okay way to put it? I feel like there's just some things that he just starts to develop stuff from me and don't get me wrong, obviously friends are gonna develop things from each other (especially of 8 years) but I feel like I've only really noticed it within the last year or so.

For example I'll mention that I like a music artist very very briefly and like the next time I see him he's totally engrossed himself into that person's music and is saying "oh _ is my favorite song from them!" When like 3 days ago he didn't even know who they were.

Or on a game that we both play theres like 60-70 characters and there's 2 people that I constantly play and he wanted to try out new people which is fine but then he chooses one of the two I play??? And buys a skin for them within like 2 minutes of playing them??

And like there's a certain way I dress and he mentioned wanted to get more into like some things I'm into like okay that's fine and then he becomes more obsessed with it than me?? I don't even know anymore my girlfriends both agree with me and understand what I'm saying cause sometimes he does the same thing to them? This feels like a lot and it feels kinda childish when I type it all out but I'm genuinely lost and you seemed like the best person I could go to.

lots of love cas ❤️❤️

Hi!

I can definitely understand how you feel, but I think this is something to talk to your friend about. I think you need to figure out why it bothers you so much and why he seems to be so drawn to everything you do. Does he just admire you? Is it coincidence? Does he have low confidence?

And I think talking to him about it is important because this type of thing can lead to resentment, you know? So saying something like "I've noticed you tend to like a lot of the same things I do, right after I mention them. Is there something you like that you can share with me, too? I feel like we only ever talk about my likes?" might help to gently call him out without causing a fight.

__________________

lawyer anon

Hey Cas, I hope you're doing well!

I love all your microfics😭they're so well written.

Sometimes I'll be reading a random microfics that popped and I'll think "this is really good!" so I go and check the user and its usually your stuff <3

For context, I'm 2 months away from 15 and a girl.

I was talking to my dad and complaining about school and joking that when I was fifteen I am legally allowed to drop out. I do this a lot.

My dad was joking and saying I've got to stay in school so I can become a lawyer and earn lots of money.

I told him the usual stuff like I don't want to be a lawyer and why would I.

He then proceeded to straight up tell me I was ridiculous and I was really confused and I asked him why.

Apparently I was _overreacting_ to the joke he told, which I had answered non seriously.

It just seemed like he was treating me like a much younger child and it honestly seemed kinda sexist.

This is not the first time stuff like this has happened. I recently went on a trip to my mum's side of the family and it was really nice talking to them because they actually seemed interested in my life and didn't just ask me, "How is school."

I know my dad loves me and this is a minor issue and some people have it much worse but it just really bothers me.

Honestly I feel like you're at the age where some people start seeing you as a person becoming an adult while others see you as a child. And that's a hard age because you want to be treated more like an adult, and it feels frustrating when that doesn't happen. People don't see you're starting to think about more mature things and you're thinking about the real world. It sounds like your dad might still think of you as a complete child. Is he the type of person that might respond well if you say "Hey, I'd like to have a serious conversation about this. I care about this topic and I want to talk about it seriously"?

________________________

Guess anon

Hi Cas

Guess Anon again

He keeps messaging me and asking how college is and asking if i need any more books (i told him no)

I have a careers meeting tomorrow and if i get anything good from that then i may tell him and tell him my next steps (but only if im feeling brave)

Ill keep you updated!!

Honestly that's such a good idea. Having a plan is a great way to like...deliver unwanted news in a much gentler way. Please keep me updated!!

[5aaliyah5]

Textbooks couldn’t prepare me for this

Chapter 1: Starting over

Holy shit, a NEW Y/N x Hange fanfic from me in the year of 2025? on top of that it isn’t a one shot? The gods blessed me with this idea (aka Tumblr) and I felt it was my duty to see it through. Its been since 2022 since ive posted a new AOT fic- so I hope you guys like it. To not get discouraged/ to keep it exciting, I’m keeping it under 10 chapters, but yeah, I felt it was long overdue considering I’m a college student and literally have first experience what it’s kinda like. Also- I hope ya’lll appreciate me going back to my psych notes to actually insert factual psych info/ experiments. Ik Hange would most likely be a chem teacher, but I genuinely don’t know anything about chemistry and I wasn’t about to try 😭

If you have any suggestions or comments please feel free to add any or reach out to me through DM. Thank you so much for reading!

Pairing: Professor Hange x Student Reader / Roommates AU

Rating: Mature

Warnings: None

Spotify playlist:

It was an irrefutable truth that large crowds of people always relied on those around them to determine what was a socially acceptable way to behave. Y/N had always hated large crowds for this reason, as the human mind perceived and recognize patterns in behavior as the “status quo” and to conform to those to avoid being a target. Fortunately for Y/N though, the bus was not crowded, with very few scattered through the rows of seats, also leaving Y/N to have her own row. The drive had been peaceful, and had allowed Y/N some time to clear her mind as the bus turned a sharp corner. Large buildings loomed overhead, and when Y/N glanced outside her window, she couldn't see where they ended and the sky started.

When her stop approached, which had taken Y/N looking at her phone for at least 10 minutes before hand to determine that that was in fact her stop, Y/N stood from her seat and grabbed her luggages that had been in an compartment above her head, and walked to the front of the bus. The drive had only been 4 hours, but it had felt like 24 hours, as the stale air in the bus had been all that Y/N could breath in for those 4 hours.

She stepped off the bus, and as soon as the bus had left she breathed in a deep breath, instantly being hit with the smell of foods from multiple restaurants nearby. This is what freedom smelt like, this was what her freedom smelt like, and it was glorious. For the first time in her life, she was finally away from her family and it felt like an anchor had been lifted off her chest, one that had kept her down for so long. While Y/N loved her family, there was also a part pf her that was willing to admit that they were also constricting. Coming from a small hometown that only had one Elementary school One middle school, and One highschool, the nearest hospital being 20 minutes and everyone knowing one another, there were no secrets, and so it was no secret to herself and her whole home town that her father believed that she shouldn't even attend college and simply get married and start a family.

When Y/N watched as her older sister succumbed to this fate, having her first child at 19 years old, Y/N watched in horror as her once vibrant sister became a shell of herself. Y/N knew it wasn't from having her child, as her sister loved her daughter, but from simply never being able to leave, to explore, and to be forced to be content to live in their small town for the rest of her life.

Right after Graduating Highschool, Y/N was able to get a job as a teachers assistant, all the while attending the community college that was just a few minutes from her home. Her father believed that this job would allow Y/N to become more accustomed to the idea of being a mother, and to finally settle down, but this job instead offered Y/N the opportunity to save for her true future: to afford community college and then leave this town and move to the city of Shiganshina.

She had watched as 2 years earlier, her friend Sasha move to the big city, being able to live in some apartment buildings her father owned that had been passed down to him from his father. They had called and talked every week about the new experiences that Sasha was able to make and the new friends she was able to meet. And now it was Y/N’s turn. She had been accepted into Shiganshina University, and had saved enough money to pay for the first few months rent and first semester tuition.

Her father had tried to threaten her, to cut her off completely from the rest of the family, as she packed her few belongings that she had into two suitcases. But no matter how much he raged and threatened, she didn't need him. She never had. And so sure enough, as soon as she walked out that door, that would be the last time she spoke to him.

“Y/N!” She recognized the voice from the hours of phone calls the both of them had made to one another over the span of the 2 years, as well as the voice belonging to someone who had been a lifelong friend for Y/N.

“Sasha!” Y/N quickly turned around, immediately spotting Sasha on the side walk across from her. Y/N looked both ways and made sure to check for cars before crossing the street with both luggages being towed behind her. As soon as her feet hit the sidewalk pavement, she reached out her arms to hug Sasha, who returned the gesture. “Its so good to see you! I missed you so much-”

“Oh gosh Y/N, its been so long since we’ve seen one another, look at you! You look good!”

“You too Sash. Its great to finally be here, in person. We wont have to have long Phone calls now, and can just see one another-”

“Especially since you'll be in the apartment underneath me” Sasha smiled, and reached for one of Y/N’s luggages to help pull it. The apartment was only a block down from the bus stop, so the both of them made quick work of walking towards the apartment. “Oh, with that, my dad told me to tell you that your roommate is late and had some problems while moving, so they wont be getting in to the city until later tonight.”

“Aw really? Thats a bummer- I really wanted to meet them.” Y/N says with a sigh “At Least ill have time to make the apartment more presentable before they move in. Maybe go search for some furniture so it at least looks cozy and more livable.”

“Actually about that- I knew you would need to do all of that so, over the past few weeks I found some items on Marketplace for cheap and put them in the apartment already!”

“Really? Are you serious sasha?” Y/N asked excitedly and Sasha nodded. Y/N felt her heart beat faster and a large smile reach her face “Thank you so much! Thats such a big help, you don't know how much I appreciate it-”

“Of course, think of it as your homecoming gift. Besides, it wasn't that hard, my dad helped me go pick up some of the pieces in his truck that I couldn't carry alone, and we had the renovation men help bring it in. All I really did was find the things online.” She explains “If you don't like anything though-”

“Stop there- im sure ill love everything. You know me better than anyone else, and you know im not picky about things like that. I just want to thank both you and your dad so much for this- for this chance to actually live here and for caring so much for me.”

“I've got you Y/N. Im just glad ill finally get my best friend back.” Just as Sasha had said that, they both arrived at the Apartments. Sasha dug into her jacket for the keys, and slid them into the lock- Apartment 5- and smoothly, the door knob twisted and opened. The inside of the apartment was nicer than Y/N could have ever imagined. The building was older- with there still being frame molding along the edges of the walls, reminding her of something from a 50’s home. The white frame molds contrasted against the fresh grey paint of the walls. Y/N then looked to the living room. The dark green couches and glass coffee table all had a very classy feeling to it, which led her eyes to roam the walls again, with there being matching paintings of various scenes. One looked like the beach, with three figures roaming it and looking towards the sun on the horizon, another painting looked like a hillside with a tree on it, the background looked unclear but some parts of a wall behind it could be identified. “Wow- you really went all out Sasha, its so pretty in here!” Y/N traced her fingers on the coffee table and then walked into the kitchen.

The kitchen was simple, and actually very small compared to the living room and hallways leading to the rooms. Two people would be able to fit in here comfortably, but no more than that. With the sink, oven, refrigerator and microwave all being pushed along one wall, and half of the other side wall having a small counter for things like a coffee pot or toaster. A small two seat table fit in the small area along the last open space of the wall.

It was perfect.

—-

Y/N unpacked her things as sasha layed on her bed, talking about how her classes have been in the past, about the city in general and the nightlife of it: “There isn't many parties surprisingly, considering its a college city, but the few that there are during the semester go really hard. In terms of clubbing and things like that, we cant really go yet cause we are only 20, so our only options are either drinking inside our apartments and dorms or going to the few social activities and parties during the semester.”

“That might be for the best honestly. We are here after all to focus on College, and not partying.” Y/N remarked which earned her a laugh. YN reached into her suitcase to pull out more clothes. She really only had either clothes or sentimental items, as while she was packing, her father had taken it upon himself to smash some of the few items Y/N had in regards to makeup and hygiene essentials. She would need to go to the store…

“And I agree with that, but its also nice to get out once in a while… for establishing social connections, don't you agree psych major?” Y/N smiled a little as she put away the last of her clothes.

“I agree to a certain extent. Cant you also do that in a coffee shop? Or perhaps in class?” Somewhere less crowded, Y/N thought in her head, “Im just thinking of the peer pressure at parties like that, and how such a small thing such as someones approval can get someone into a lot of trouble…”

“And when has that ever been proven?” Sasha asked and Y/N was quick with her response.

“Many experiments, including but not limited to Asch’s Studies of group pressure” She raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms. “The experiment asked a group of people questions in which most of the group were confederates and said the wrong answer on purpose, and even though the one participant knew the answer was wrong would select it just to fit in with the rest of the group.” Sasha rolled her eyes and Y/N added There is also Normative Influence which is when People conform because they fear the consequences of appearing deviant.”

“Okay okay, I get it- The human mind is a crazy thing.” She says and Y/N hums in agreement. “So- now that you are unpacked… let’s go over to my place and crack open a new bottle of champagne that I’ve been storing”

“Champagne? I’ve only been here for two hours and your already trying to get drunk?” y/n asks and then answers “cause if so, it took you long enough- let’s do this. I’ve never drank before, but it can’t be that bad right?”

“No- it’s totally fine Y/N, besides we will have each other to keep each other in check and make sure neither of us drink too much.” Sasha assured her, and Y/N nodded along.

That was the last thing Y/N remembered before they cracked open that bottle…

—-

Y/N awoke sometime later, unable to understand where she was or what was going on. That was until she turned her face from the pillow to look at the alarm clock that sat on Sasha’s messy nightstand.

8:54 AM

Y/N shot out of bed, immediately almost tripping over a shirt that was on the ground.

“Sasha!” Y/N tried to shake Sasha awake but it was a failure, as the brown haired girl slept through the shaking and yelling coming from Y/N. Y/N even tried to take the blankets off of sasha to wake her, but it was a failure as sasha clumsily reached back for her covers and draped them over herself again.

“‘We’ll have each other to keep eachother from getting too drunk’ I guess that plan fell apart…” y/n muttered under her breath as she gave up trying to awaken Sasha and rushed to straighten up her appearance, borrowing some of Sasha’s makeup to make herself appear less hungover. The circles under her eyes unfortunately couldn’t be erased with concealer, still leaving a noticeable outline but it looked better than the discolored mess it had been a few minutes ago.

–

Y/N had ran to her class, weaving and dodging the many doors and crowds of students entering different buildings. She would once again restate in her mind: she hated crowds.

Y/N entered the classroom, her hair blowing in her face and sticking to the chapstick she had applied that morning, causing her to need to awkwardly brush it out of her face. She was greeted by a voice, which caused her to jump, a little startled. “Good morning”

“Im so sorry im late-” She rushed to say, as the figure that stood at the front of the room looked towards her. She assumed it was the professor, with their dark brown hair placed up in a high ponytail. They wore a white button up with simple black slacks. Y/N could notice their brown coat hanging off their chair as well.

“Its fine, you're not the only one. Its the first day of class and there are plenty of new students struggling to find the building or find parking. Nothing has started yet, and we are just reviewing the syllabus, please find a seat.” Y/N sighed, and turned around before hearing the Professors voice again “Im sorry, I just finished attendance, could you please let me know your name so I could mark you present?”

“Hm? Oh, im Y/N L/N.” The professor looked down at their attendance sheet and traced a finger over it before finding her name.

“Thank you, and nice to meet you Y/N. You can call me Professor Zoë.” They smiled to her, their glasses hitting the reflection of one of the lights in the room, which blocked their eyes from being seen, but their smile seemed genuine and Y/N felt good about this class already.

“Nice to meet you as well.” Y/N smiled and then turned around once more to find a seat in the middle of the class. She pulled out her computer to look up the class on Canvas and open the page to view the Syllabus just as Professor Zoë had said they were doing. Biological Psychology- Y/N read as they went over some of Professor Zoë’s background. They moved to the area very recently, and their background was in Biological science, that was until the college hired them because of the lack of professors available to teach Biological Psychology.

Y/N found the class go by very quickly as some other few students walked in late after her, and they continued to just cover the standards for what the Professor expected of the class.

—

After class, Y/N had received a text to meet Sasha at a small diner that was around the corner from the university and a few blocks down from their apartment. Y/N saw the bright yellow and red painted building from down the street, with the distinctive name Carla’s Diner written on the front of the building. The diner looked like any other diner Y/N had been in before, nothing special about it, but Sasha continued to rave about the food and how the diner was a beloved spot for the students of the university. Y/N did enjoy the classic feeling of the diner, and how it would make for a nice study spot.

Carla was also personally there and serving food, bring them their plates with a smile “here you are girls” she said, and Y/N thought she looked rather maternal weirdly enough. It reminded her of home.

“Thank you-” was all they both said as they ate their food. Sasha got one thing right: the food was amazing. She would definitely be coming back here for more than just a cup of coffee or pastry. The walk back to their apartment was very calming, with the both of them basking in the last sun of summer, as the season started to change into fall. When they both arrived to the complex, they went their separate ways, with Y/N pulling her keys out of her bag.

Y/N walked into the apartment, and sighed, happy to finally be home and now, with a full belly and now having the chance to relax within her own space. A space she wouldn't have to share with anyone else- aside from her roommate. But that would be fine-

“Hello?” A voice rung from the hallway, and Y/N froe for a second before putting a smile on her face. Her roommate was home it seemed. The voice sounded… Familiar, but she couldn't put her finger on it…

“Hey-” Y/N called put, as she took off her shoes by the front door and hang up her bag on a hook along with her keys. “Sorry im barely getting back. I was here yesterday but then went and crashed at a friends apartment after drinking a bit too much…” She walked into the apartment more, towards the back area where the rooms were, including her own “Its nice to meet yo- P-Professor Zoë?” Y/N stopped, her mouth falling open and her eyes widening. Professor Zoë stood in her door frame, equally as shocked.

“Y/N, right? What are you doing here?” She asked, trying to appear calm but Y/N could also she was internally freaking out.

“I live here now- I just moved in yesterday… What are you doing here?” Y/N asked, though she could feel in the answer in her heart. This couldn't be happening…

“I- I also live here…” Professor Zoë confirmed her worst fear, and Y/N felt the blood drain from her and goosebumps raise on her arms. How could this happen? Why did this happen? Why did it have to be her? Y/N had a million questions running through her brain but felt frozen in shock, like she had been caught committing a crime.

There was a tense silence between the two, both unsure what to do or say. This was a line that wasn't allowed to be crossed when it came to university, a Professor was supposed to remain a distant character, an unattainable person, who a student would never truly know aside from professionally, not… your roommate?! Y/N was glad she had hardly met Professor Zoë this morning, otherwise seeing them in a large T-shirt and sweats, with their hair messily down and surrounding their face, after taking a few weeks of their class would have messed with her head. They looked… good. NO SHE COULDN'T THINK THAT WAY. The only thing Y/N found she had the strength to do was turn around quickly, rush to her room and shut the door, embarrassed.

This would be a long semester.

[delightfulcandycandy]

Literate Creepypasta Roleplay

hi! you can call me dani! i am 21 year old female! so, just to let everyone know that i do not roleplay with minors!! so please understand that!

anyway- on to the roleplay! i am currently looking for double ups! ( oc x canon ) and just the simple canon x canon ships!! as of right now, i’ll go over a few do’s and no’s and then get to canon characters and whatnot!

~~~~~

Rules

1. no minors - as mentioned before, i am 21 years old! i do not wish to roleplay with people under the age of 18 or 19. even 18 makes it abit nervous for me! but state how old you are please!

2. be literate - i love to write long replies, so please be able to write a decent amount. of course, i do not expect 2 boxes of 2,000 words. no. i don’t mean that, i mean just enough to be able to write, at least 2 - 5 paragraphs. that is fine with me!

3. dark topics - since creepypasta is itself dark, dark topics like gore, toxic relationships, abuse and whatnot is allowed! after all, it’s a pretty graphic fandom, so keep that in mind!

4. communication - talk to me. that’s all i ask. if you aren’t going to be on for a while, tell me. if you are not interested in the roleplay anymore, don’t leave me hanging. tell me. i am very easy to get along with and id rather you tell me if your still interested. and of course, i will do the same for you! just again- tell me.

5. 18+/NSFW - i am okay with smut! just as long as it isn’t the whole plot. i like to be able to build up the tension then just start out that way, or it be constantly.

6. slenderverse/marble hornets - i know that marble hornets and the other slender verse isn’t apart of the creepypasta. but, i am more than okay if you’d like to have a roleplay about the others. HABIT being another one! this isn’t just the creepypasta, it’s more of a slenderverse roleplay request! :))

7. character accuracy - this has been a problem for day one. but, please. i do not want the fandom of a character’s personality. after all, their cold blooded killers. not children, not goof balls. no- their very dark minded. example, i will not be writing toby as a waffle loving child. no- imma write him how his creator originally wrote him.

8. active - i would like someone who is active. i get the occasional days where you are busy, but i do not want to wait a week before you send me another reply. sorry, but sometimes it really takes the joy out of roleplays when i only get a reply one time a week. NOW- i do not care if get one reply a day, ive had it happen. it’s okay! but not once a week.

9. original characters - if you wish to do doubles, please have a oc ready. i understand if you wish to fix it up, but i do not to start a roleplay and then you do not have a oc. ( usually people just say ‘no’ and i never hear from them again- which is odd- but whatever. ) but, also i do not want half-assed either. and i do not want ones that are siblings with the canon characters…please, no…it ruins the roleplay. and no mary or gary sue’s.

10. sexualities - i am okay with your character being trans, bi, nonbinary and whatnot! so do not be afraid to be creative!! :) as i am okay with it being bxg, bxb and of course the others! ( i open to anything :)) )

~~~~~

What i’m looking for….

at the moment i am open for doubles and or just canon x canon ships!! so, it could be either or it could be both! i can do multiple! like if you wanna do doubles and then a ship. i am fine with it!! :)

Canon Characters I Can Play:

- Ticci Toby/Tobias Rogers - Canon ships and doubles

- BEN DROWNED - Doubles

-Jeff the Killer/Jefferey Woods - Doubles and canon ships

-Eyeless Jack - Doubles

-Timothy Wright/Masky - Doubles

-Brian Thomas/Hoodie - Doubles

-Laughing Jack - Doubles

-Bloody Painter/Helen Otis - Doubles and canon ships

-The Puppeteer- Doubles

-Nina the Killer - Doubles

-Jane the Killer - Doubles

-Homicidal Liu - Doubles and canon ships

- and a few more…ask! :))

Canon x Canon Ships

the canon ships are the ones i am interested in!!! i will put by the ship of which i muse!! but, these will only be mxm! sorry!!

- TicciMask - i muse ticci toby

-Bloody Painter x Puppeteer - i muse bloody painter

-Jeff x Toby - i muse ticci toby

(rare pair) Evan x Toby - i muse ticci toby

~~~~~~

that is all for me!! i am open so feel free to reach out if you are interested!! my dms are open and if you wish to roleplay on discord my discord is peppermint_bark_s

i hope to be able to roleplay with you!! :)))

[ikemenomegas]

in light of gojo's unsealing, ive thought about diff cute scenarios

gojo being the type of person to get his mate's phone and snap hundreds of pictures of his face

this would probably never happen given gojo's privacy when it comes to his marriage but in a different world i can see this happening Gojo naming his alpha as "mochi seller' on his phone and Itadori seeing the message pop out from the lock screen and accidentally somewhat outing gojo's rs when he asks him in front of the other students why the mochi seller sent an ily message

the tender moments where gojo lets his infinity down or lets his alpha inside his infinity and he gets to relish in the warmth of their skin

the sappy things gojo's alpha has to sometimes do whenever gojo gets too rowdy and they need to placate him for whatever reason (re: alpha reading a map together with nanami scenario)

gojo sending his alpha a picture of two rocks by the sidewalk with the caption: 'us'

gojo asking his alpha if they would still love him if he was a worm and the alpha saying: "no<33"

Awww! These were really cute anon! Very happy ending which I feel like we're going to need a lot of in the coming weeks...

(Also I ran with it but why is their name "mochi seller" haha)

[Ao3 link for those who prefer chapters]

⬖ Photomaton

"Device storage insufficient, please move or delete files to make room?" you read, nonplussed.

Nobara sighed. "Sensei, I showed you how to do that weeks ago."

"I did do it." You frowned, opening up your files. Why were there so many pictures...

Nobara rolled her eyes at you and beat a hasty retreat when your hand went to your mouth as your face went warm.

There were rows and rows of photos, none of which you had taken.

Most of them were selfies, but some of them were obviously the result of Satoru propping the phone up and attempting to pose for the camera.

He must have been swiping your phone every time you left it sitting out or went to sleep. He didn't rest much, but there were so many, more probably than you'd been able to take in the last five years.

There wasn't much thought for such things when you only saw one another a handful of days every month. The focus had gone to managing the present, not on taking pictures. You'd only really thought to regret it after that terrible Halloween, when you worried you'd never see him again.

Some of the photos framed Satoru inside one of your homes. Others were almost ugly shots, taken way too close, or blurred with motion artifact. There were pictures of him haloed in the night glow of streetlights or washed out in the halogen light of a konbini. There were those made grainy with low light and some that took your breath away because he was nice looking.

Furtively, you looked up but were alone and you silently thanked your student's exasperated impatience. A few of the photos showed just too much skin to be exactly proper.

You thumbed down. The pictures were a story all their own revealing some of what Satoru did when alone and you savored the honesty. You had to keep apart from one another for so long.

The last thing in the camera roll was a video.

It opened with the shuffling sounds and the wobbling display of someone walking. Satoru wound around furniture in the darkened interior of your apartment.

"I'm home. You're asleep right now," he said lowly, "probably won't be later. I don't know how most people can sleep so much." He spoke half to himself, the deep night laying over his words like velvet.

There was the sound of the door to the little balcony opening and then the faint tinkle of the glass bells hanging from the eaves.

"Must be nice," he mused, "you get to miss a lot."

The image on the screen steadied as he rested your phone on the rail. The familiar view of the city resolved as faint golden starbursts of light. The rustling of Satoru's clothing faded until all you could hear was the faint rush of night wind and his breathing.

The video went on for over a quarter of an hour. You scrolled your fingers across the screen. He didn't move, the picture stayed the same. You leaned against a wall and listened to the last few moments, your heartbeat low and slow, your breath in sync with his from some time both here and long ago.

Satoru spoke, amused over the night-sounds:

"Don't delete this. I'll know."

⬖ Daifuku

"Good job," Gojo congratulated his dust-stained students as the veil fell.

Maki and Toge glared while Yuuji gave him a tired thumbs up from where he was laying on the ground.

"Dinner is on me tonight." Gojo ignored their halfhearted grumbling. "Decide where you want to go."

He anticipated a larger than normal ding to his wallet, but they'd earned it (and it wasn't as though he couldn't afford it). Beating this curse was no minor feat and it had been a particularly crafty one, which was why Gojo had gone with them just in case.

The students made noises of acknowledgement with varying levels of anticipation, but to no one's surprise, Yuuji was the first to roll over and dig around for his phone.

He tapped the screen and groaned.

"Sensei, mine's dead. Can I use yours?"

Gojo unlocked it and passed it over without a thought. He wasn't particularly hungry, the kids could figure this out without his interference for once.

"Um, Gojo-sensei?"

"Hm?"

"Why is a "mochi seller" reminding you to stop at the pharmacy and sending you heart emojis?"

With uncanny synchrony, Maki and Toge's heads turned to look at their teacher.

The phone in Yuuji's hand buzzed faintly.

"I love you?" he read, sounding alarmed.

Toge's eyes went a bit wide but a grin that curled a bit too much at the edges and showed teeth took over Maki's face.

"Text back," she said, scrambling to her feet.

With all her quickness, she swooped in and snatched the phone when Yuuji hesitated.

The phone buzzed once more.

"I'll be home by 8:30, probably," she read.

Gojo took advantage of Maki's triumphant look to slip the device from her grip.

"I knew it!" she pointed at him. "I knew you were hiding something."

"Grown ups hide lots of things," he replied blithely. He was confident none of the students could tell that moment had been more like someone walking over his grave.

It was not as though he intended to hide his relationship with you. Hide implied shame, concealment on the other hand had been security and was harder to let go of. There would come a moment when the kids prised the truth from him. He was not about to have that moment with his kids now, or hopefully ever, because they accidentally read his texts out loud.

Maki reached for his phone and he easily tipped out of her way, walking off and heading towards a neighborhood he knew (and the students did not) had a lot of very good restaurants.

He was silently very thankful when the implied threat of no food at all distracted the students. Or at least had Yuuji barreling past Maki and kindly dropping the matter in favor of promising to "only look at the map this time, was there a good katsudon place nearby?"

⬖ Goose Down

Satoru spotted you hunched over a rail with your umbrella open overhead, held in the crook of your elbow.

He could tell from the set of your shoulders that the summer sun was getting to you, despite the cursed tool taking a majority of the pressure off.

Your energy was butter yellow and burnt red and lithium pink, mixing slowly around your body as you slowly cycled power into the umbrella and the short sword held loosely in your hands.

Satoru ducked around a corner and took a peak at your face. Your eyes were closed.

Smirking quietly to himself, he crept around, Infinity a barrier between himself and the world. For just a little longer...

You jumped when he dropped it, nearly dropping your sword and automatically holding the umbrella high enough for him to fit under it.

"Hah-"

"Speechless?"

You gaped at him, mouth hanging open.

He nodded as if you'd just confirmed it. "This is what they don't tell you about marriage. Making someone's heart race is important even after the wedding. We'll probably be together forever at this rate."

You mouth closed and then went a little wobbly.

"It's hot," you finally said, miserably. "And it's too sunny."

He couldn't hold back his laughter as he stepped closer and folded himself around you. Your scent tingled pleasantly in his nose and your skin was warm from both heat and light, like a sun-warmed blanket.

"Oh," you said faintly, "you're cool," and you all but melted against him.

"You could just go inside," Satoru said. "I sent the students off on an adventure. We wouldn't be bothered."

"That sounds nice," you murmured, but didn't make any move away from him.

He didn't either. He didn't feel much like letting go yet.

⬖ Orange Kazoo

Sometimes, you reminded yourself through your already strained patience, Satoru just needed to be left alone to make noise.

For a moment, you considered begging him for just a little peace, but you knew he was doing this for your benefit. Shibata Kin was a difficult pill to swallow.

"I never expected anyone to send Six Eyes to join us."

It was the weakest and most recent of Shibata's barbs. The oily way he said it and the implication that anyone would dare to subordinate Satoru to this boot licker rankled.

Satoru crinkled the package extra loud on a bit of melon bread and smiled. "I was in the neighborhood."

He took a bite, chewed and swallowed while you flipped through the mission report on a clipboard.

You sighed, exhaling your worry, and handed it back. "Let's go then. It looks like all the victims disappeared from the same place so we should start there."

That place was a building that straddled a moderately busy subway station and stacked part of a shopping mall, a cluster of private clinics, and a cram school all on top of each other.

Satoru trailed behind through the store, stopping at kiosks and chatting with saleswomen, picking up and putting down objects.

You could feel Shibata's irritation transform into something far less internal as he turned to you.

"He's like a child," he remarked coolly. "Sure we shouldn't just ditch him? The curse doesn't sound that hard to deal with since I've got you."

When you ignored him, he kept talking.

"He shouldn't even be here," the man drawled.

You shrugged. "Well he is."

Shibata sourly appeared to swallow whatever else he wanted to say. You turned around to see where Satoru had gone to. The thought of being stuck with the bitter other sorcerer was worse than waiting for them to pick their bickering back up.

He waved a stuffed cat in sunglasses at you and nodded eager agreement when you pointed out a cute little sparrow holding an umbrella on a shelf behind him. Sometimes, it was best to just humor Satoru and play along.

When you turned back, Shibata Kin was gone.

Since you were all concealing your residuals from the curse you expected was in the building, you had no idea where he went.

You looked over your shoulder. Satoru was gone too.

Well.

You tapped your fingers over your pocket and then decided to let them go. Satoru always seemed to know where to find you and Shibata had called you here as backup. You should probably go kill what you were looking for before it nibbled on him.

Many fewer curses than you expected lingered in the shopping mall. They were bizarre places with as many secret passageways as an ancient castle. Away from the popular shops and crowds, it quickly grew quiet and the bright gleam of displays gave way to more neglected halls.

On your way, you passed a small bank of capsule machines. You crouched down, and smiled faintly to yourself. Abandoned in the furthest reach of the shopping mall, almost near to where a service entrance lead to another stretch of winding halls and tunnels, the items here were both ancient (by city standards) and ridiculous.

Packages of candy that still held their shine but were likely far past their expiration date sat beside tiny figurines of a frog-shaped toddler in a little red hat. You grimaced back at those and moved on.

Near the end of the row was a machine that sold tiny musical instruments, plastic and paper and probably terrible sounding, but it wasn't expired food or frog children. You stuck a few coins into the slot and turned the dial.

An acid green ball spat out from the slot.

You picked at the latches on its side while you found your way further and further into the little used corridors.

There was a flash of something, like a burst of camera illumination from behind a door on your right.

You slipped through it, pulling your blade free from its sheath at the small of your back, and emerged into a tunnel that looked to be connecting to the nearby subway station. Not far ahead, the darkened path split into two.

You flipped the sword around so its blunt edge rested against your forearm and sprinted, dashing across the intersection.

A blur of motion came at you. As it grazed by, you snatched at that movement and sprang into the air, high enough to crouch on the ceiling of the tunnel.

The curse was a near perfect twin of the one a little ways down the way the attack had come, which should have maybe been your first hint. The one that had come at you was grinning, its face a rictus mockery of a theater mask.

They both sat, crouched like toads. You feinted toward the one that had come towards you, and at the last minute flew down to the other, its mouth bent in a painted looking frown.

It backed up in surprise, but not far enough and your blade nicked through the face, which was hard like dense wood. The air around your other hand shimmered in heat, as you struck for the thing's cavernous eyes.

It emitted a furious, scolding gurgle that almost reminded you of some of the window teachers from high school, and swallowed the burst of heat before it could crackled around it into full flame.

You hardly had time to reinforce your body with cursed energy before you were blasted from two directions, letting the momentum carry you and trying to wrap the more opposing forces and the roaring sound of displaced air into your own cursed energy. But something about it resisted you, and you were unable to absorb as much of the attack as you usually would.

A racking shiver radiated through your body right before you were caught by a broad hand on your back.

"Hi," Satoru said sweetly.

"Hi," you panted, automatic, eyes still fixed on the curse.

"What's going on?"

You looked up at him with incredulity.

Hoisted in his other arm was the limp body of your other companion.

Satoru's head cocked to the side, curious as he looked at the curse.

"I don't know yet. I hit it and then--" the mask of the frowning curse was ash blasted and the notch from your first strike still there, but it was not as damaged as expected.

You regained your footing and stood upright.

"If I give it another go I think I can figure it out."

He tilted his head.

You sized up the two curses waiting outside the reach of Satoru's infinity.

"Oh." You reached into your pocket and handed him the green orb.

"What's this?"

"Dunno," you said with a faint smile. "I got it for you."

"Aww, you shouldn't have."

Maybe not. Satoru thinks gachapon are funny, you should show him the line of machines if you get out of here the same way you come in, then he can choose something himself. You still have a few coins on you.

You flew at the grinning curse, both hands on the hilt of your blade, cursed energy flashing into a point a good six inches out from where the metal itself ended.

You held, crystalizing your own movement for a moment and stared deep into the thing's empty eyes.

It twitched, and then its arm moved and you slashed downward, intending to cleave the limb away.

The blade hit, you knew it did. You were able to dodge the attack you anticipated from the smiling curse. The frowning curse in front of you struck back, almost at the same time.

You pulled on some of the reserved momentum you'd held back in your initial strike and barely twisted out of the way.

You lifted the gleeful cackles of the twinned curses from the air and tried to twist them into a crackling rope of flame to surround the grinning one again. As you had expected, the damage did not seem to completely take and you were forced to duck when a bolt of heat tried to sear your back, culminating in another blast that shook the tunnel and thew you once more.

"That's enough."

Satoru appeared at your side again, pulling you back behind the shield of his power when the curse's retaliation threatened to cut through you.

"This one's a bad match for your technique," he murmured thoughtfully.

"Is it reflecting through the faces?" you asked, catching your breath.

He hummed.

Absently, you realized you could scent the sharp, fresh smell of citrus on his breath - the smell of the biting orange flavored candy you'd shared with him on the train ride here.

"If it reflects yours too--" you trailed off. What you did was firmly in the realm of the "real" and Satoru's abilities were not. If this curse were to reflect back blue, or red, or heaven forbid purple... well you'd never seen or asked up until if Satoru could stop his own techniques. It seemed a tactical oversight in this moment.

Satoru stepped forward.

"Stabilize him," he instructed flatly. He'd tossed Shibata Kin's still body where he had been standing barely a minute before.

The curses had moved closer and pressed together, beginning to meld into one another before your eyes. The damage you had already done was fading further.

You knelt at Shibata's side, shaking back your sleeves. "You know this is going to poison him."

You carefully set two fingers underneath his right collarbone, and three a few ribs below his heart on the left and focused in on the flickers of electricity that powered a human body.

"Oh well." Satoru's grin was a baring of teeth. "He'll get over it better than being dead."

You could sense the arrhythmic flutter of Kin's heart, like the popping scatter of an overloaded lamp, like a fractured version of that flash you had sensed earlier.

"You know he was trying to set you up right?" Satoru asked as he batted away an experimental chunk of rubble the curse tossed his way with a flick of his wrist. The stone was aimed right for the face of the smiling curse and even as it hit, it seemed to bounce back, hitting Satoru's shield and falling to the ground.

You sparked a bit of your energy to pure electricity, sending it jumping from one side of Shibata Kin's chest to the other.

"It crossed my mind," you admitted, murmuring as you concentrated. "But I didn't pursue the thought."

Satoru snorted. Yes, alright it was more likely you'd decided thinking about it too hard was going to distract you from the mission but you were here anyway.

You counted the pulse of electricity between your fingers to your own heartbeat until Kin's matched, or at least matched better than before.

When you pulled your hands away, Satoru cracked his knuckles. It looked like he was going to go in for physical attacks.

"You might need to manage the tunnel," he said.

Yet another reason this was a bad match up, not just for you but for him. Satoru did best in wide open spaces where he had room to move and didn't need to worry too much about collateral damage. Dropping a ton of rock on your heads and collapsing the buildings above sounded like a thing that could happen.

You had barely pressed your hands to the ground when Satoru was off like a shot.

The curse wasn't that strong - a high end second grade or low level first grade at best given that it wasn't itself attacking to provoke a response - but it split into those two halves of itself and reformed again as needed to minimize the impacts Satoru rained upon it or flank him.

Limitless lay against his skin between each strike so he remained unmarked, but the cavernous space still rocked with noise and dust shook from the gaps between tiles. You steadied it best you could, absorbing the oscillations and dampening the noise.

It did not take long for the frowning curse to realize what you were doing and send the smiling one racing for you. With one hand on the ground and one on your sword, brimming with unspent potential, you raised the point.

"Nah ah." This seemed at once to you and the monster charging your way. Satoru appeared in its path and bodily kicked it away.

It did not take long after for the twinned curses to be dispatched. Although the only reason you weren't holding your breath is because you were gritting your teeth with the effort of holding the ground together and trying not to shake apart yourself.

Satoru in motion, in a fight, particularly when physical constraint demanded more of his ingenuity, was always a sight to behold.

He came back to you looking unfairly dewy post exertion, with his hair in a sort of windswept disarray, the fabric around his shoulders bunched up. He shrugged out the wrinkles and dusted off his hands.

Your briefly pressed a hand to his knee after you steadied the last tremor from the ground.

"Thank you."

Satoru tapped his forefinger twice against your temple as he walked by. "A feedback loop between you and that thing would have been very messy."

You stood up, swaying slightly.

Even though Satoru would have happily dragged Shibata to the exit point, you insisted on tugging him upright and at least moving him through the air to a place where the three of you could safely rest and call a car.

You had settled him against a wall and were calling Akari when he finally stirred.

"What happened?" Shibata asked weakly.

You turned around to look at him and from Shibata Kin's tepid expression and the sound of shifting cloth behind you, you assumed Satoru must have copied your movement.

Still, you gave him a faint smile and couched down beside him. He didn't have the strength to move away as you grabbed his wrist and felt his pulse. It was thready, but he'd be good enough to get the rest of the way above ground until an actual doctor could take a look at hime.

"We're all alive," you explained unnecessarily.

Shibata Kin's eyes moved from your face to over your shoulder. Sweat beaded his brow and upper lip.

From behind you came a buzzing hum, somewhat approximating a sad tuba. Waa wa wa waaaaaaaa, it trailed off.

Satoru had a the wide end of a grape purple kazoo held between his teeth, his sunglasses already exchanged for the bandages he'd had wrapped around his eyes.

Only just in time, you ducked your face into your shoulder and hid a smile.

⬖ Pet rock

You were walking down some quiet residential street, trying to match the map to the trail of the curse you were tracking. It was not very intelligent, but it had a pernicious little ability to draw other curses to it under the banner of a powerful command. You'd been swatting third and fourth grades out of the air as you chased it, trying to wear down its arsenal.

It wasn't a terribly good strategy however and the thing had been winding its way through side streets to buy time. If you could get in closer, you could chop away at more of its train of screaming fears, maybe get a head start on the main peril. Thus the attempt at navigating and figuring out its destination so you could cut it off.

At least Hirano-san would be happy. Maybe. Culling curses required balance; they were their own little ecosystem. As long as the things aren't eating anyone, a certain amount of apex predators in an area could be a deterrent, like the old practice of putting powerful relics out like roach traps. Have the inevitable critters fight and eat one another rather than their human hosts.

A notification popped up over the map, and then another after it.

You felt your shoulders drop as you recentered yourself with a faint smile.

At your hotel later that night, you recalled that Satoru had sent you a message. You fell onto the bed, wrapped up in the hotel bathrobe.

It was... nice, knowing that someone was waiting at home for you. Or if not at home, he was still busy as ever, out there in the world somewhere, thinking of you. Weirdly normal.

The message was a picture. You blinked up at it. Two little rocks and a flower growing out of a crack in the pavement to shade over them.

>> ?

Almost immediately you saw three dots appear.

<< it's us!

Is it? you thought skeptically, looking at the picture again.

The dots again.

<< You don't think so :(?

Your phone was buzzing in your hand before you had even a moment to answer.

It startled you enough to drop the phone.

Owww

"You took so long to answer. This is photography, are you discouraging my new passion? It could go on a greeting card."

The word salad was meaningless and silly, weightless.

"I dropped you on my nose," you said, eyes closed as you rubbed the spot the corner of your case had hit.

"Were you that surprised by it?"

A pause.

"It's cute." The notion of it and the fact that he'd sent it to you was cute.

"It is cute right?" His voice was bright but not overly loud through the phone, for which you were grateful, already settling into warmth. "The flower is poisonous too."

You curled up on your side and held the phone close. Maybe he'd get lucky and you would find something cute to send back to him.

⬖ Puddle jumping

a/n: You have no idea how much googling I had to do to figure out what the prompt meant. I am not on the tick-tock app lol or, I've found, a fan of this meme... the implication that girlfriends ask useless questions as a rule seems sort of meh. So I mostly kept to my original response to this which was "i don't know what that is and honestly probably neither does alpha"

Satoru was herding you down the sidewalk, occasionally listing one way or the other to get you out of the way of other pedestrians. Sometimes he did it for the simple fascination of how you swayed along by him like you were on a tether. Even while you eyes were all but fixed skyward, you stayed roughly the same distance from him.

It was the first day of sun after days of rain and also one of the first days he had off with you in so many apart. He had been too restless the day before, back off a bad mission that had more to do with the desperate unpredictability of people than the intrinsic darkness of curses. You had not resisted him when he drew you out, stifled by the low clouds and humidity and longing for openness. Even with Infinity blocking the rain, it had felt like being closed in again.

Relieved of their burden, the clouds had gone from iron grey to diaphanous white and pealed up and away in swaths like billowing curtains. This is what you were watching - their retreat from the earth. They had come so low they wrapped around skyscrapers and telephone poles on their back to their usual place.

Satoru watched the drowned earth. You had cut through a tree lined walk. The rich soil was churned and muddy and the long bodies of worms that had been washed out or crawled up were strewn about.

Your and Satoru's steps made no mark as he stretched Infinity over and around the two of you. Neither of you tread upon those blind, waterlogged creatures.

Satoru stepped behind you to allow a cluster of high schoolers to pass and hid a faint wrinkle of his nose as they squealed and ran by, realizing they were stepping on some of the remains.

Your umbrella was folded and carried at your side, and you tilted your head back at him, looking a little sun-drunk. He smiled at you. He could see the reflection of the sky in your gaze.

He adopted a pout, snickering internally as you immediately seemed to regain some awareness and a wary anticipation entered your expression.

"Would you still like me if I was a worm?" he asked.

You blinked at him. "Is this one of those things you learned from the kids?"

He slouched a bit, crowding into your space. "Would you still love me if I was a worm," he wheedled.

"Are you turning into a worm?" you asked, slightly panicked, hand going to his arm as though to check if he was going as wet and floppy as the poor things on the ground.

"I'm going to turn into one if you don't answer my question."

The last of the distracted fog lifted from your eyes as you shook yourself. You took his hand and pulled him close to let another couple pass you on the walk. They inclined their head in thanks.

There was no rush to get where you were going and you tugged him along a smaller path that cut under a row of thick-branched trees so you could walk side by side unimpeded.

"I still liked you when you were a semi-sentient six sided die," you pointed out, smiling slightly.

"It's not the same," he whined a bit, drawing out the words in a sing-song fashion.

"Isn't it? I'm not sure a die eight kilometers under the ocean is more useful than a worm."

"Hmph."

"Although I really hope the worm thing is hypothetical."

"Why?"

"Because with our luck that would mean I'm a worm too."

Satoru huffed a faint sound of amusement. "Nooo. You'd still be some kind of bird." He patted your back. "Don't worry I'll make sure to crawl out late so you can still be in time to eat me all up."

"... Are you propositioning me or telling me to hurry up?"

"Walk faster or I'll step on the backs of your shoes."

You did. The two of you walked faster and faster until you were all but chasing one another out of the park, laughing lightly as you dodged the spots of wet on the ground.

[ambers-archive]

who am i, darling to you? (iv)

loss of my life

Bookmarked on page fifteen, the last page of chapter three, the closed book in your hands stand still against your heavy heart. You were waiting to read chapter four together with her. The story of Rapunzel was your favorite princess story. One of a long lost princess with beautiful long hair who fought to live the life she wanted. And she was able to fall in love in the midst of it all. 

It was a staple bedtime story; you went to sleep hanging onto the words.

Sometimes when you see your mom in your dreams; you can hear her sweet voice reading you the stories, and you can feel her gentle kisses even now. A beautiful yet haunting reminder of her. 

You never got to read chapter four, and you haven't been able to move the handmade bookmark since your mom stopped on chapter three seventeen years ago. It's her birthday today, seventeen years of missed laughter, hugs, and love. Maybe it would have been bearable if you had someone to share the burden with, someone who knew her just as intensely.

But the only two other people were dead along with her.

"Alright, let's go over our story one more time," Hotch says, his voice low as he walks into your honeymoon suite.

It had been a few days since you two checked in, it was a beautiful suite overlooking the sea. You loved the sea and the feeling of sand between your toes, but just like many of the things you loved - it was just out of your grasp.

You were spending the days discussing specifics of stories, anniversaries, birthdays, and first kisses. All set to disappear into an imagined world and meet him in a love story that was not yours. You two weren't hopelessly in love on your honeymoon, and Maya wasn't you. That story was only saved for last, hidden deep within your heart under-heading the section labeled grief. 

Because where else can one store unspent love. 

You've never even held him, but your feelings for Hotch are nothing short of love. You've never held him, and yet you have memorized every dimple, freckle, and crease by his eyes.

He has never touched you, and yet has touched every fiber of your being. 

And so many sleepless you stayed up, next to him, feeling his heartbeat you wondered what it would be like to press yourself against his larger body. To tuck yourself underneath his arm and lay your head against chest as if you belonged there all along. 

You resisted of course. 

“We met at one of the galleries I was showing; you bought all of my paintings and asked me out to dinner later that night,” You respond quietly, your hand still ghosting over the peeking bookmark. Feeling the lines of the book's spine, it was a small but thick paperback book. Not worth much, but to you, it was priceless, one of your most prized possessions.

You manage to catch the last of his question, all your focus on your self-inflicted sorrow. "Ages?"

"Um," You start, trying to piece the story together; it's buried somewhere deep in your head, this past week has just been so hard. You always visit your mom on her birthday, but now you know it won't be possible.

Your pain was always such an imposition.

"If we're going to do this, I need your undivided attention,” Hotch’s voice breaks through your head. You turn to face him, his eyes focused on the case file, not even sparing you a glance.

"Sorry, sir. It’s just a lot to think about.”

“I told you it would be. If you’re not ready for this, Agent.” You wish he would stop calling you Agent, it's an unnecessary boundary he's creating to distance himself from you. 

“I am,” You cut through his words, swallowing the dryness forming in your throat. "Of course, I am." You repeat back, standing up straighter this time, trying not to let the indifference in his words bother you.

He passes you his notes, filled with Maya and James's life. Their story, their family. They're respectively twenty-six and forty, so a little off here and there. James has a big family that Maya is able to fall into, two brothers and a sister. No kids yet, they're just enjoying life with the two of them.

It would be perfect if it was yours to truly live in.

Perfect, just not yours. Always yours to love, but never to keep.

"This case is one of the most important the team has had in a long time. Everyone is counting on us; memorize the notes. We should take this opportunity to meet other couples tonight at the welcome dinner." He pauses for a second, surveying and noticing the book in your hands. You defensively put the book away, shielding your memories from his judgmental eyes, ripping yourself away from any judgment, away from a job that punishes you for caring.

"I can't do my job successfully if I'm always watching over my shoulder, babysitting a capable agent," he says, as he walks out of the room, selfishly avoiding your eyes so he can shield himself from the pain he's inflicted. The door shuts quietly, but no thoughts seem to take over, and you suddenly feel small. Like a child who's been abandoned, left alone, and to fend for herself.

༺༻

You sit there, staring at the closed door, trying to steady your breathing. The silence in the room grows louder, as if it were taunting you, reminding you of your isolation. You clutch the book tighter, as if it could anchor you to some semblance of stability.

Minutes pass, maybe hours. Time blurs as your mind drifts between memories of your mother and the pressing reality of the case. The sun slowly sets, casting long shadows across the room. 

And you wish you could just sit there and wallow in your misery but the reality of the case pulls you out, your feelings will just have to wait. 

As the orange from the evening sky peaks through the curtains, you hear the door open again. Hotch steps back into the room, his expression softer yet determined. "Strauss wanted to have a conference call with the director. She thinks the welcome dinner is a good approach."

You look up from the case notes, the soft glow of the bedside lamp casting a warm light over the room. "When should we start heading there?" 

"In about an hour, we should get there early to take in the environment. The Unsub could be anyone." You nod as he finishes the last of his sentence, the tension is still there letting you loose only to suffocate you once again. 

"Just give me a few minutes to shower." You say not meeting his eyes.

Making your way to the shared bathroom you let the warm shower engulf you. Wishing to wash away your insecurities and the weight of the day. You close your eyes and visualize the tension fading with every drop of water, but it doesn't last nearly as long as you would like it to. Reluctantly, you walk out of the shower as your obligations drag you back.

Thinking of these small things makes you believe she is an actual person, not just someone you and the team invented. The details bring her to life, giving her a heartbeat within your imagination.

You rarely had time to dress up since work took most of your time and energy. You take the time to do your hair and for a second you get to engage in something fun, a constant which was sperate from the rest of the world. Reaching instinctively to play with your bracelet, you sigh.

It was an evil eye bracelet, or as your family called it, nazar. It was a gift from your Nani (grandmother); she said it would keep you safe from everything evil. You smile to yourself, thinking about her words and the warmth they still bring you.

If only there was someone else who loved you just as much now.

Hotch's knock on your bathroom door pulls you out of your trance, "Just a second!" You say adjusting your dress. 

Taking one more look in the mirror, you open the door, surprised by how good he looks. He always wore suits, but before you stands a man in a dark gray shirt, tucked into his trousers, his usually neat hair now slightly tousled, framing his face.

You smile at him, for a second forgetting that you're upset at him.

"I didn't know you had curly hair," he says, looking at you with a small smile on his lips. You mirror him briefly, putting on your earrings.

"It's hard to maintain, especially at work, so I just straighten it a lot." You had your hair moved to the side; you can't remember the last time he had looked at you for so long.

"It suits you."

"I get it from my mom. Everyone told me I look like my dad growing up, but the one thing I got from her is the hair," you say, looking for your shoes. Hotch is standing behind you, hands in his pockets.

"You don't talk about them much," he says, his tone softer now, more curious than probing.

"Once I start, I can't stop."

"I was the same way with Haley, especially around Jack. But there are people who care about you here, including me." You don't know when he came so close to you, his face now merely inches away, his presence suddenly more comforting than intimidating.

Suddenly, your perfectly guarded emotions come undone. "I have so many memories of her; it's an overflow sometimes."

"Then let's start small. What is your favorite memory?"

You let out a small smile, walking towards the dresser and pulling out the book to show him.

"Rapunzel?" he asks with amusement. "I didn't know you liked fairytales."

"My mother did. She used to read me a ton of them, but this one was my favorite."

Recognition flashes in his eyes as if he suddenly remembers something. "I'm sorry, it's not hard when people we love leave." He knows grief better than most people. Although you weren't there when Beth died, you can still see remnants of who he used to be underneath.

A man torn between the love for his wife and duty.

"I think you're wonderful despite everything you've gone through. I know it's easy to feel responsible for what happened, but it wasn't your fault," you say softly, still holding onto your book.

Hotch nods, taking his hands out of his pockets and resting them on your shoulders. It's hesitant, as if he's unsure, but you don't mind.

"I was mad at them for coming home so late," you whisper, meeting his eyes.

"My dad promised to watch a new movie with me. I waited by the door all night. But they never came. Today is her birthday, and I'm missing it."

"This is why you always take this week off?" He asks.

Nodding, you tighten your grip on the book. "I always visit her grave, and since they're buried together, I visit my dad's too."

Before you can take in what's happening, Hotch lets his hands fall from your shoulders with a look of determination. And before you can ask him about the welcome dinner he starts walking towards his keys. 

"Tell me where."

"W-What about the dinner?" You ask barely able to register the man in front of you. 

"We will have other opportunities. Right now, you should be with your mom on her birthday. I spent too long letting this job keep me from the people I love. I can't see it happen to you."

"It's all the way back home."

"That's alright. I can probably call in some favors and have the jet get us there in a few hours," he says earnestly.

You look at him, taken aback by his determination. "Are you sure? What about Strauss?" 

Hotch nods opening the door for you. "You're honoring your mother. I'll explain the situation, don't worry about her." 

How could someone not fall in love with him?

taglist: @zaddyhotch @mrs-ssa-hotch

[class1akids]

hii, so what do you think will happen to Deku?? ive been seeing soo many people on my tl saying that he'll end up quirkless and i know its not supposed to be like that but now idk anymore and with this last chapter i think he may end up quirkless which i hate btw. Anyways, what are your thots on this and where do you think the memory thing is going?

I'm sorry to say, but I've been a "Deku ends up quirkless" again truther for many years. To me, narratively, it just makes sense for the overall set-up of the main question of the manga: "Can I be a hero?" which has kept coming back in the endgame to come full circle.

In this story, we have learnt that all kinds of people can become heroes: people with "villain quirks" (like Shinsou), people with niche quirks (Aizawa, Monoma), people with troublesome quirks (Mirio), people who don't even use their quirks to be heroes (Hatsume). So I don't see how it would be only the MC, who needs specifically the greatest power in existence to be a hero. Deku needs to be able to face his quirkless middle school self and tell him with all confidence that "you can be a hero too".

To me, given how OFA evolved (the multiple quirks, the shortcuts to 100%, the short learning time), it would make sense if Deku's journey is not to be an empty chalice / tool for OFA, but OFA to be the tool for him to discover his own strengths (physical, mental, battle IQ, etc.), learn how to fight and help him to become a hero.

All Might even did the test run for an Armored Hero, mimicking the quirks of Class A and held up against AFO just as well if not better than people with quirks did. That plot is way more fitting for Deku who has actually been relentlessly studying his friends' quirks and with proto-Deku being an actual tech hero.

And on top of it, I think that Deku staying as ridiculously OP as he is would not give him a happy ending. OFA has no reason to exist once AFO (the quirk) is gone for good. Staying so OP would send Izuku down the road of All Might 2.0 - whether he wants to or not - with no life for himself. He's self-sacrificial enough that if he has the power to do everything, he will keep doing it and run to every corner of the world to help. It's isolating and that rat race is not what makes Izuku as a person happy.

He's someone who likes to hang out with his friends, stop to chat with people he saved and make candy apples to make them smile. That's where his true happiness lie imho.

The only question mark I have is because of Bakugou's ridiculous power-up. I've always thought Bakugou and Deku will end up around the same power level in the end (to keep the whole rivals thing going into post-franchise movies). Probably Shouto too, but that's less of a given.

But now, I'm not sure how Horikoshi will balance this. Bakugou is still nowhere near full-power Deku, but Armored Deku I don't think would be a credible rival to 2xAwakened Bakugou. So because of that, I can imagine, Hori will do the typical Hori-thing and won't commit and will go instead for some half-ass solution of nerfing Deku just so (e.g. having him keep Black Whip or have some asspull of the super strength fuse into his DNA, or get a quirk back from Tomura...) and then keep the fandom arguing who is stronger.

For me, the narratively more compelling story is to have Deku wake up quirkless after the big battle, after he saved the world and getting a few chapters of him getting back to his feet, and not a single soul question whether he still belongs to the hero course because of course he does. And then have absolutely everyone help him - to pitch in money to develop his armor and help him train and everyone (and especially Bakugou) treat him as absolute EQUAL and as an inspiration. And then have him graduate from UA as the first ever quirkless hero ever (and go on to work as hero partners with Bakugou probably).

Hori said that he has a lot of stuff he wants to draw after the war, and I think something like this would make sense.