#and the love interest helen was GREAT i really enjoyed her as well

[vulcanhello]

[valkyrieromanoff]

IMAGINE PEDRO PASCAL X ACTRESS!READER

Summary: You and Pedro answer some internet questions.

Warnings: Implied romance, friendship,fluffy

I was up at the crack of dawn watching The Graham Norton Show due to my unhinged obsession with Pedro Pascal. That's where my hypothesis about Helen Mirren became more credible. I really hope you enjoy it, though.

"Hello, I am Pedro Pascal." He introduced himself, waiting for you to do the same. "And my name is Y/N, and today we are going to answer some questions from the Internet." You said as Pedro shook the jar with the questions written on small pieces of paper."Let's see what the first question will be." He said, turning the jar over so that you could pick one up. "What was the last song you listened to?" He leaned over to your side, reading over your shoulder. "Do you remember?"

"Let's dance by Bowie. I listened to it in the car when I was coming here." You said, leaving the paper on the table. "Whenever I'm feeling down, I put this song on, and everything is better. What about you?"

Pedro paused to think, looking distractedly to the side. "Someone sent me this video with the song Hey sexy lady and this has been on my mind since then."

"I think I know which video you are talking about." You laughed, raising an eyebrow. He chuckled and laid his head on your shoulder. "Well, next question. Are you good with accents?"

"Are you?" Pedro asked, as you shook your head negatively. "Come on, it shouldn't be that bad."

"The best I can do is a terrible British accent." And I'm not being modest; it's truly terrible." You rectified it, laughing. "But you, on the other hand, are good at it."

"I try; I've done a few different accents." Pedro said, moving his shoulders as if to ask something. "This is the way." He said it in his SNL Valley Girl accent.

You smiled as you shook the pot and motioned for him to take the next question.

"Recommend a book." He read, then tossed the paper aside. "I think I've mentioned this book before, but Gabriel Garcia Marquez's One Hundred Years of Solitude is a landmark in Latin American literature and well worth the read. Besides dealing playfully with social and economic problems, it talks about family, friendship, and love."

"That sounds interesting." You commented. "I would recommend Normal People by Sally Rooney. It's a great book, which in addition to telling the story of Marianne and Connel, deals with topics such as mental health, social classes and makes us reflect on how we impact people's lives and how they impact us."

"Nice." Pedro agreed, waiting for you to take a question.

"What is your celebrity crush?" You asked, and you can't deny that you were curious to know his answer.

"Tough question, there are so many people I admire." He began, adjusting his glasses. "However, if I had to pick one, it would be Helen Mirren since Excalibur. Oh Morgana Le Fay has awakened something in me.""She's wonderful." You agreed, taking a moment to decide. "My celebrity crush is Tessa Thompson; that woman is amazing. She could punch me in the face and I'd thank her for it." "Whoa!" Pedro muttered in surprise. "I don't even know what to say." He joked as you pushed him lightly to the side.

"We only have two more." You commented, looking through the last few papers. "Let's see what the question is." You said, unfolding the paper. "Were you a good student? Were you Pedro?""I was a student." Pedro paused. "Maybe I got into some trouble." He joked, holding your arm as he laughed, "But they were always normal things, like skipping class or forgetting to do an assignment.""I guess I was a good student; I got good grades; I was a little nerdy; and I never got into any trouble." You spoke, throwing a lock of hair back."So, you were a good girl?" Pedro asked and you bit your lip."You could say that." You mumbled, holding the jar for him to pick up the last paper.

"What's the one thing you wish you could tell your younger self?" He read, looking thoughtful for a moment. "I would say that everything would eventually work out and that some things tend to take longer to happen. And to never, no matter what, stop being who you are."

You smiled, gently touching his shoulder. Pedro stared at your face and returned the smile.

"I'd tell her to not be so hard on herself and to try to enjoy the moments without worrying so much about the things she can't control." You said sincerely. "Well, it looks like the questions are over."

"It was a lot of fun answering them; I hope you guys enjoyed it as much as we did." Pedro spoke, smiling. "Until next time." He said, and made the peace sign with his fingers.

"Bye." You spoke, waving to the camera.

[evita-shelby]

National Anthem

Chapter 4

Cw: mentions of pregnancy and childbirth. Mentions of death from childbirth and infant death

Slight Boardwalk Empire crossover

Taglist: @zablife @call-sign-shark @thegreatdragonfruta

Love is not as easy for her as one would think.

The witch likes taking things slowly, so slowly her lovers lose interest and leave.

Or have entire secret relationships with the cousin who you live with in Mexico City and most people assumed you’d marry because consanguinity isn’t still in the past especially in aristocratic families like theirs.

Jack is an attentive husband and keeps her in luxury and lets her revel in the part of her that craves blood and violence from time to time.

Eva is very fond of him and cares a great deal for him and likes the person he is in private, but she just isn’t sure if that is love or love love.

English only has one word for love. Spanish has two, querer and amar. One is stronger than the other and she can confidently say she likes him a lot(querer), the witch cannot have that same feeling to say love as in amar.

The answer to her conundrum comes as they ready the house for their first dinner with the neighbors.

There is a sweet and even tender side to him no one save Gina gets to see here. Here where they live rather richly and yet so simply that she couldn’t have it any other way.

Here where they pretend they are just another suburban couple expecting their first children in an idyllic neighborhood.

Here where they are hosting the couple next door and their son after Jack sprayed him with the gardening hose for looking at Eva’s ass ---or so he said.

Dinner had gone well.

Eva had hit it off with Helen, spoken some of her past and lied when little Bobby asked if had ever killed anyone in Mexico.

Now as they cleaned up ---despite his protests saying Alice, the maid, was hired for this--- the answer to her conundrum comes as he regales her with a childhood anecdote.

She would be lying if she wasn’t enjoying every second of this life in peace. Every second of being with him.

“I love you.” Eva says as the words come unbidden.

Had she taken longer, the twins would’ve been born.

“You’re only saying it to shut me up, darling.” He replies with that confident smile she’s come to adore.

“No, I’m saying it because I mean it.” Eva playfully flicked some soap suds toward him making him laugh.

“Took you long enough, I am fucking charm itself.”

“You don’t have to kill him, Jack.” She says after his new lackey has the audacity to flirt with her while visiting his office in Wall Street.

Really several months pregnant and Owen Sleater keeps thinking about fucking her. Eva would be flattered if it hadn’t come to annoy her.

It had started out as something Eva paid no mind to until the man started be too helpful to her. Then he started touching her, innocently at first and then lingering to the point it would be called a caress.

Jack had noticed it with displeasure, thinking about imaginative ways to rid himself of the man especially after Eva told him about Sleater’s unwanted advances.

“What do you suggest, Evie? Ringing up the Ulster volunteers I keep an eye on and leave the fucker tied with a bow for them?” he is annoyed at having to show mercy to a man who’s blood he wants to bathe in.

“Jersey, to your fellow Irishmen in Atlantic City. The republican you outbid for me.” Eva keeps it vague to make him ask why such a specific person.

Nucky Thompson had a purpose and when that was fulfilled Jack would take his crumbling empire and build up his. Nucky looked like he was on the way to greatness, like he had found a wife and a family he yearned for and as if karma didn’t have him on her list.

Owen Sleater would ruin his marriage by doing what he tried to do with her. Only Margaret Shroeder would be vulnerable enough to be swayed by his charms.

No matter, Enoch Thompson deserved it. That and so much more.

“Tell me why, and I’ll see if I can arrange it.” Jack sat back on his chair as she grew comfortable on his lap.

“He’s gonna fuck his wife.”

And sure enough, Owen Sleater is handed back to John McGarrigle after the Nelsons arrange a little accident on his new bodyguard.

It’s the twenty-ninth of May when Joseph Patrick and John Fitzgerald are born.

The morning had been perfect, and had she not been who she was, she would have used the twin bed in the nursery that had been prepared beforehand to bring these two little angels into the world.

If her new friends and neighbors had known she never planned on making use of it, they would have found it as strange as her and Jack eschewing the use of separate twin beds as all modern couples do.

Eva has a fear of giving birth at home.

Her sister, Felicidad, had died because they lived to far away from town and the doctor could not come quickly when complications arose. The baby had died less than a month after as if sharing her dead mother’s name had cursed her to join her in death

And while Eva had served as a midwife in her time as a nurse, she preferred being where an obstetrician and a surgeon would be a door away and not several miles away. Just as a safety precaution.

Thankfully, there were no complications and by noon their twin boys were sleeping in a bassinet by her bed.

“I would’ve killed them all if they’d stop me from being there with you.” He admits smiling softly at his namesake.

Just a week ago he had killed a man for calling him a potato digging bastard and yet here he was holding the smaller of the twins with such love and gentleness you’d never know his hands were drenched in blood.

“I know.” In her moment of need, Jack had barreled into the hospital room and dared them to pry him off her side.

He had encouraged her, yelled at her when she felt like giving up and promised to never touch her again when she complained about their boys having heads as big as his.

By the time they’d been returned to the maternity ward both witch and gangster had completely forgotten the awfulness of the birth.

“Your eyes rolled to the back of your head during that last bit, doll. Mind telling me what it was about?” He doesn’t beat around the bush; he’s been married to her long enough to know when she has a vision.

Once she fainted dead away in his arms, and one other time she drove his old model-t into a ditch.

“What do you think about doing this seven more times?” the witch asked hoping he’d say that was too many.

“Who are we to argue with the big man upstairs?” he answered with a proud smirk.

[mermaidsirennikita]

Virgin Romance Heroes: A Starter Pack

Although I completely 100% believe that virginity is a construct, I still enjoy a virgin romance hero. Because a virgin romance hero is a hero who is often less likely to feature a lot of the alpha male bullshit posturing you find in romances featuring devirginized heroes.

Though... one could definitely make an argument that this depends more on who you choose to read.

I actually can't explain why I love a virgin romance hero on a serious intellectual level, but I once heard a podcast refer to these books as "breaking in ponies" books, and I feel like that's probably somewhat close to the truth.

(There is at least one book I'm highly anticipating on the horizon featuring a virgin hero, but like. Not out yet.)

Contemporary Virgins

I actually only have one because contemporary virgin heroes are usually in like. College. And, with some rare exceptions, I don't do college romance heroes.

The Bride Test by Helen Hoang

Hero is on the autism spectrum and is incredibly antisocial, hence the virginity. His mom brings a single mother back from Vietnam to be his bride, and he's like "absolutely not", but they end up in a forced proximity situation. What makes this book so interesting to me is that the heroine really doesn't have the full story at first, which leads to a lot of mixed messages--and as a result? His virginity loss is not great for her, but he doesn't even super realize she didn't have a good time and has to learn and make it up to her. Refreshing. Also, Helen writes a good fucking fucking scene.

Historical Virgins

Unclaimed by Courtney Milan

This one has a hero who's genuinely a very good person, which is often difficult for me to deal with, but it works here. He proclaims his chastity (until love, i.e., marriage) to the world, and a very annoying man decides to undo him by hiring a sex worker, our heroine, to seduce him. This is a soft book, and an emotional book, and it's also about a woman constantly trying to stumble into this man's arms so he comes to his senses and fucks her. As a job. It's quality.

Thief of Shadows by Elizabeth Hoyt

Maybe the best virgin hero book... ever? I maintain? Winter Makepeace, TM, the man, the myth, the legend, is an orphanage master by day and a vigilante by night. Vigilantism is his fucking, to paraphrase Kendall Roy. Until the night he ends up chased to his doom by an angry mob and rescued, with a massive leg wound, by sexy aristocratic widow Isabel. Though she doesn't see his face, she does see his penis, and it is large. He escapes into the night, but oops, Isabel is now supposed to reverse My Fair Lady Winter so he doesn't lose the orphanage!!! Winter is a real "sex didn't super matter to me until I noticed this one bitch" virgin, and by God, I love that. He and Isabel both cry when she blows him for the first time. He tells her, his mouth literally hovering directly above her clitoris, "well I'm sure I'll figure it out somehow". He's also 26 to her 32, which I enjoy.

Something Fabulous by Alexis Hall

M/M roadtrip romcom historical, in which the flamboyant, too much Bonny is experienced (and will let literally anyone eat his ass, legend) whereas his sister's surly, cold fiance duke guy Valentine is a virgin. It's also heavily implied that Valentine is demisexual. They go on a romp of a romance as they try to hunt down said sister fiancee girl, during which Valentine is like "maybe I do wanna fuck? Maybe I wanna specifically fuck Bonny?" Because it's Alexis Hall the spectrum of sexuality and "what sex is" and "what even is topping and bottoming anyway" is super good. Valentine refers to Bonny's asshole as a hungry flower. Bonny is like "PLEASE. STOP."

Hotel of Secrets by Diana Biller

A hero in the vein of Winter, except he's very much chosen to be celibate because a) trauma and b) he's a spy and he's frankly far too competent and busy to worry about fucking. Until he meets our sexy hotel-running heroine, and someone is trying to kill her and she doesn't seem NEARLY as concerned about it as she should be, in his opinion. Features the lovely "competent man slowly unraveling because of local woman" vibe, which is one of the best vibes. She teaches him about sex. He walks in on her masturbating and is like "keep going". It's so, so good.

Band Sinister by KJ Charles

Another M/M historical, in which a very proper and practical boy next door type does in fact have to go next door after his sister ends up in the clutches of a queer found family. It's like "what if instead of getting a cold Jane Bennet broke her leg and what if instead of Mr. Bingley and Mr. Darcy you had a gay rake and all his friends, a couple of whom he fucks sometimes". This book not only has some really lovely deflowering content (including Latin verbiage) but explores polyamory in a way I super enjoyed.

In Which Margo Halifax Earns Her Shocking Reputation by Alexandra Vasti

A roadtrip historical with heavy Tessa Dare vibes, featuring a slutty disaster heroine and her brother's best friend, a practical man who's been in love with her from a far for yeeears. To the point that he is, in fact, a virgin. The pining brother's best friend can feel really contrived if it's not done well, but it's done perfectly here. It's an excellent opposites-attract romance, a perfect "uptight meets wild", and they do fuck nasty in the woods. So there's that.

Melissa and The Vicar by S.M. LaViolette

A recent new favorite of mine, this is another "jaded sex worker meets virgin" book, but in this case Melissa is just on a vacation because she has a stomach ulcer and needs to de-stress, and Magnus is the local curate who sees her and goes "WOULD". The sexual tension is sizzling. She's seen it all; he's a very lovely man and also a very spoiled brat. She fucks him on a couch and leaves For His Own Good, it cuts to eight weeks later and it's like "THIS MAN HAS BEEN IN HELL. HE JUST RIDES HIS HORSE AROUND LOOKING FOR HER AND HIS EYES ARE ALWAYS RED AND HE CAN'T EAT". It was basically pure heroin, if there's anything I like more than a virgin hero it's a virgin hero who gets left immediately after his deflowering and chases a woman down to be like "you!!! took!!!!!! my precious flower!!!!! marry me or fisticuffs at dawn madam!!!!!!!!"

But also this book does a very nuanced take on historical sex work and its pros and cons for sex workers; Melissa's past is very heavy, and she was sold into the sex trade at 14, so read with caution.

Spookedy Bump in the Night Virgins

Dark Needs at Night's Edge by Kresley Cole

Insane virgin vampire meets sexy lady ghost when his brothers lock him in a New Orleans mansion to detox. This book sounds insane, and it is, but I recommend it all the time because it's so emotionally beautiful and incredibly, incredibly romantic. Conrad's POV sections literally change tenses when he and Neomi really start talking. She doesn't just introduce him to sex; she soothes his mind. And also, she's a fucking fantastic heroine, one we rarely see--unashamedly sexual, tender, selfish, and selfless. A truly complex woman meeting a truly complex man-monster-thing, and taming him. Also, practically breaking his poor untried dick with that bounce and twist thing.

Pestilence & Death by Laura Thalassa

These are book 1 and book 4 in Laura Thalassa's Four Horsemen quarter--the virgin installments, as it were, but the books really should be read in order if Death is gonna make any damn sense. These books are "four horsemen of the apocalypse come to Earth and fall in love". There's a lot of death and destruction. There's also a scene where Pestilence's heroine is like "me deflowering you doesn't mean we're getting married bro" to which he goes "I GAVE YOU MY ESSENCE!!!!" Death gets a blowjob for the first time (during which the heroine is like "this is for you, world") and then immediately has to go pace in the backyard because how is he gonna end the world when he could be getting his dick sucked instead???? Problems.

Mating the Huntress by Talia Hibbert

The reveal of the hero's virginity is towards the end of this one, but like. You should really know going in, because it's much funnier when you're fully aware. She's a werewolf huntress. He's the werewolf who's identified her as his mate and is like, comically determined to please her sexually, as werewolves are. (Where is the Kresley Cole virgin werewolf hero? Doesn't exist, Kresley Cole werewolves are like "oh I am giving a woman an orgasm IMMEDIATELY" upon coming of age.) It's a fun sexy spooky romcom.

Dark Skye by Kresley Cole

The one with the fucksheet. No, the hero in this one is an angel (or he thinks he is but he's actually a demon, it's a thing, point is he has wings and they sure can increase velocity.... during) and his heroine is a sorceress he's been tracking for literal centuries. Because dammit, she may have sort of crippled him and he may have gotten her family killed, but they're MFEO!!! Kind of interesting in that the hero was basically raised in a religious cult and is super fucked up about the heroine being proudly a virago. He has to learn how to check his biases, but by the end he is pulling out the ceremonial sheet with the hole in it through which they're supposed to fuck for the first time, and like... I.... found it........... hot.....?

Heart of Iron by Bec McMaster

Another werewolf virgin, and this one has a good reason for staying one, because if he fucks the heroine she might catch werewolfitude! Semen spreads werewolfitude! A grumpy virgin hero and a flirty virgin heroine in a steampunk setting, with much will they/won't they. Actually has them initially resolve their lust in non-penetrative sex, which was refreshingly "DUH". But then you get into the mating bond werewolf shit and it is... good.

Thornchapel by Sierra Simone

Technically, by book 3 nobody in this series is a virgin, but Sierra Simone really goes for it, as always. We have not one but two male virgins in this series, and they hate each other, and they wanna fuck each other, and they also wanna fuck their friend girl who they're mutually in love with. You get several virginity losses in this series, the most glorious of which is probably Auden's. Because Auden is a virgin, and he's also naturally very sexually dominant, which means he's always coming in his pants while involved in Casual BDSM Scenes With Buddies, and I think that's glorious. It's kinky, it's queer, it's MMF (with an FF pairing in the series as well) everyone is like "Auden do you wanna have sex with us now" and he's like "not until I've EARNED you" and they ask him to elaborate he goes "no".

Fantastical Virgins

A Touch of Stone and Snow by Milla Vane

An epic fantasy romance with a hero and heroine who are both virgins. And they used to be friends, but now it's weird because of like, betrayals and identity and the overwhelmed urge they have to fuck the shit out of each other. The great thing about Milla Vane is that there's always an element of ritualism to her sex scenes, which kind of like. Adds to it.

The King's Spinster Bride by Ruby Dixon

A delightful arranged marriage novella in which both the hero and heroine are virgins, but she's like, nine years older than him? He's been wanting to marry her since he was a kid, and like--he may not be experienced, but he has done his book learning, and is ready to please. As Ruby Dixon heroes are (see: Ice Planet Barbarians, for a fuck ton of alien virgin heroes).

[hpowellsmith]

Books of January

I've really enjoyed reading more this month! I always read a lot over the holidays and then fall out of the habit but ended up doing more this time around.

Wild: from Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail - Cheryl Strayed (reread)

I liked this when I first read it, and liked it even more this time. The sense of the outdoors and the personal journeys within feel incredibly real to me. It inspired me to get out and about more: I always feel better when I take some time outdoors. I didn't really get on with her other books, but this one remains a favourite.

Dancing on Eggshells: Kitchen, Ballroom, & The Messy Inbetween - John Whaite

Every so often I read a celebrity memoir and usually it falls a little flat - often too obviously ghostwritten/over-edited or glib or twee. This one is less over-polished which is to its benefit, includes a bunch of lovely recipes, and explores growing up gay in England during Section 28 (at the same time I was growing up). Whaite comes across as very sincere in this, and since publication has said he's quitting TV which is probably a good thing. It was interesting reading the Strictly parts having read Craig Revel Horwood's memoir last year - Revel Horwood is very blithe about how lovely it all is whereas Whaite gives a more complicated perspective.

Maw - Jude Ellison S. Doyle

This horror graphic novel is gripping in places but it didn't pull me in as much as I'd hoped having read Doyle's discussions about the writing process and inspirations. It was over a little fast, characters appeared and were killed off a little too speedily for it to have much impact, and the ending felt a little abrupt. I liked the characters and the general idea but would have liked more breathing room to get to know them. I've got The Neighbors on pre-order and hope to get into that one more.

The Easternmost Sky - Juliet Blaxland

I could write an essay about what was frustrating about this book - the lack of class-consciousness from someone who casually mentions going to visit cousins for Christmas at the local manor, the (wilfully?) ignorant comments about rewilding, the unexamined pro-hunting commentary - but parts of it are quite good and evocative. Having grown up in rural England where neither I nor my peers were involved with the hunting-and-shooting manor-house culture, it's irritating to read a book which cheerfully conflates "country life" with being someone who loves running to hounds and thinks hunting is great, but some of the descriptions were lovely. Still, I'd recommend other nature writers like Robert MacFarlane or Helen Macdonald (who engages with falconry, but in a much more thoughtful way) over this one.

The Lives of Christopher Chant - Diana Wynne Jones (reread)

This was a beloved book from my teenage years and I shared it with my child after there was a lot of enjoyment of Howl's Moving Castle and Charmed Life last year. This one was a harder sell, it turned out: it's slower-paced than I remember, and bleaker, and there's very DWJ-esque penultimate chapter where a lot of stuff suddenly happens and is revealed and resolved very fast. I do love Christopher and his friends, though, and as with many of DWJ's books, it does betrayal and sudden self-awareness heartbreakingly well.

Mexican Gothic - Silvia Moreno-Garcia

I. Loved. This. I loved it! I'd read a couple of Moreno-Garcia's books before and enjoyed them reasonably but this was the first one where it really grabbed me and wouldn't let go. A post-colonial Mexican gothic horror in which the heroine probes into an English family's business when her cousin, who's married into this family, sends a disturbed message begging for help... it's so good. I don't want to say anything more about it but I enjoyed it immensely and it solidified Moreno-Garcia as a favourite author.

Toto the Ninja Cat and the Legend of the Wildcat - Dermot O'Leary

This was really cute. My child and I ended up losing track of some of the plot, which became slightly complex, but it was generally adorable. There's not a ton else to say other than it's a nice story with a few jokes for adults that are good sensible-chuckle material.

Untamed Shore - Silvia Moreno-Garcia

This was so good. It's a noir thriller without the supernatural elements I'd encountered in the author's other work, but it gripped me excellently. I really enjoyed the unfolding dangerousness of all the characters, including the protagonist, and I was genuinely uncertain about what would happen towards the end - it had me really tense! I enjoyed it greatly.

[redheadgleek]

January 2024 books!

I had some vacation this month. I also had an entire week when I was stuck at home without internet due to the ice storm. So I read a lot, mostly very light, fluffy comfort read books.

What I read:

Nine Goblins by T. Kingfisher. A novella about war as experienced by goblins. As usual from a TK book, a little gory, a lot witty, with some fun characters.

The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman. I've read so little of Neil Gaiman's books and I really enjoyed this one. I thought it was quite inventive and I liked how the passing of time was framed.

Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing by Matthew Perry. It's an odd experience reading a book written by a person who has died. He had a lot of mental health problems, and I'm so sad that the medical world failed him so much.

All Systems Red by Martha Wells (audiobook). I read the novella last year and have been wanting to read the whole series, but I had already forgotten details, hence the audiobook. It was a great way of seeing things through Murderbot's eyes. I just got the next book from the library, so that will be my next listen, I think.

Miss Buncle's Book by D.E. Stevenson. A very charming book about a woman who scandalized her hometown by writing a book about them. Reminded me a lot of L.M. Montgomery's short stories.

Lord of the Butterflies by Andrea Gibson. A book of poetry exploring love and family and gender. So much emotion packed into every poem. Truly lovely.

The Wee Free Men by Terry Pratchett. I've also not read much of Sir Terry's and everybody has recommended the Tiffany Aching series. It was a lot of fun and had some very unique characters.

Iron Flame by Rebecca Yarros. This is not high fantasy, but when the frozen world was coming down around me, this was exactly the kind of escape fiction I needed.

Weyward by Emilia Hart. Three stories woven into one about generations of women who are witches. There wasn't anything that really unique about the book, but it had great atmosphere.

An Unexpected Twist by Andy Borowitz. Not sure I should really count an 18 page essay as a book, but I enjoyed this perspective of the medical system from somebody experiencing complications.

Thank You for Listening by Julia Whelan. Okay, it mostly stretched credibility, but I enjoyed the banter between the love interests. And I especially liked the way the MC was dealing with her grandmother's dementia.

Georgie, All Along by Kate Clayborn. I enjoyed this one. I appreciated that while it was a "going home to the small town" trope, it also didn't paint that as solving all of the problems.

Upstream: Selected Essays by Mary Oliver. I started reading this last year and it took me to finish. Some of the essays were gorgeous, some felt unfinished, and others felt like book reports.

The Kiss Quotient by Helen Huang. I nearly DNF at 90% because I was so mad at the "chivalrous" macho possessive behavior of the male character. There was a lot of gender roles and conformity and casual (and not so casual) sexism throughout. Oh the other hand, the sex was plenty and pretty well described.

What I'm currently reading:

Cloud Cuckoo Land by Anthony Doerr. My sister recommended this. I'm about half way through and it's a tale interweaving people from the past and the future. It's at a point where it feels like bad things are going to start happening, so I'm a touch anxious, but it's been excellent so far.

Poverty. by America by Matthew Desmond (audiobook). I'm an hour in and it's utterly horrifying and gutting.

A Short History of Nearly Everything by Bill Bryson. It's a 20 year old book at this time and needs an update, but it certainly makes science understandable.

The Six: The Untold Story of America's First Women Astronauts by Loren Grush.

The Summer Tree by Guy Gavriel Key. I remember reading this in high school and really liking it (while also feeling dirty because there was some swearing and a sex scene in it). This time though? It's obvious he's channeling Tolkien, the writing is painfully stilted and the premise is weak and I've found out that it's a sort of King Arthur retelling, so I'm just not sure about it.

What I plan on reading next:

Emily Wilde's Map of the Underworld, Tom Lake (audiobook), and The Starless Sea are next on my list, I think.

[babyrdie]

penelope headcanons?

Odysseus headcanons here.

I don't think my Penelope is the type of character people like these days, so I avoid talking about her. But basically, my Penelope is an caring mother and a wife who enjoys managing the house. She's not athletic, she doesn't have an eccentric hobby, she's not communicative, she doesn't boss Odysseus around. She's a completely common woman, who still exists today and who existed in Ancient Greece, and she's good at it. She has other qualities.

When I say my Penelope isn't communicative it's less about lack of ability and more about lack of will. She's just an introvert. Certainly Penelope is good with words (after all, one of her main characteristics is her intelligence), it's just that she prefers not to need to use them a lot. She and Odysseus are that dynamic where one person talks a lot (Odysseus) and the other person talks little (Penelope), but sometimes the one who doesn't talk much gets excited and chatters endlessly. And this is extremely special for Odysseus, because he likes knowing that she likes and trusts him so much that she got excited to the point of talking a lot, something that Penelope doesn't do with many people.

And this idea was inspired by this part of The Odyssey:

But the royal couple, once they’d reveled in all the longed-for joys of love, reveled in each other’s stories, the radiant woman telling of all she’d borne at home, watching them there, the infernal crowd of suitors slaughtering herds of cattle and good fat sheep— while keen to win her hand— draining the broached vats dry of vintage wine. And great Odysseus told his wife of all the pains he had dealt out to other men and all the hardships he’d endured himself —his story first to last— and she listened on, enchanted… Sleep never sealed her eyes till all was told.

The Odyssey, Book XXIII. Translation by Robert Fagles.

I really got the impression that dialogue and the sharing of knowledge and stories is an important part of their relationship.

Penelope is also more of a homebody, so even though she's from a Spartan family she really had no interest in being athletic. Clytemnestra and Helen, yes, but Penelope wasn't interested in that even when she was a child. She's also physically weak and small, after all I don't see how it would make sense for a strong woman to let her child be taken away from her. Palamedes was only able to take Telemachus away from Penelope because she couldn't fight back against him, and Palamedes knew that well and that's why it was a cowardly attitude on his part.

But he, not wishing to go to the war, feigned madness. However, Palamedes, son of Nauplius, proved his madness to be fictitious; and when Ulysses pretended to rave, Palamedes followed him, and snatching Telemachus from Penelope's bosom, drew his sword as if he would kill him. And in his fear for the child Ulysses confessed that his madness was pretended, and he went to the war.

Library, E.3.7. Translation by J.G. Frazer.

In other words, my Penelope doesn't have skills like running fast, swimming very well, physical strength, etc. Her abilities are mainly craftsmanship and intelligence. Since she was young, she has always loved weaving, which is why as an adult she is so good. She didn't just do it because it was expected of her as a woman, Penelope really enjoyed it and was excellent doing it. She also liked learning new things, so, although she preferred not to interact much, she liked it when her father had visitors because she always ended up hearing a new story. When they were children, Penelope used to advise Helen and Clytemnestra on how to weave properly because she's a more patient type of person and enjoys sharing what she knows.

My Penelope is also not bold in the common sense of the word. She doesn't go and declare what she wants, she does it implicitly, she does it in a way that requires less exposure and takes fewer risks. That's why she doesn't risk being bold with her suitors, she uses her intelligence (either deceiving them while pretending to weave, or establishing competition with the bow). Even her suitors recognize her cunning.

Now Telemachus, here is how the suitors answer you— you burn it in your mind, you and all our people: send your mother back! Direct her to marry whomever her father picks, whoever pleases her. So long as she persists in tormenting us, quick to exploit the gifts Athena gave her— a skilled hand for elegant work, a fine mind and subtle wiles too—we’ve never heard the like, not even in old stories sung of all Achaea’s well-coifed queens who graced the years gone by: Mycenae crowned with garlands, Tyro and Alcmena … Not one could touch Penelope for intrigue, but in this case she intrigued beyond all limits. So, we will devour your worldly goods and wealth as long as she holds out, holds to that course the gods have charted deep inside her heart. Great renown she wins for herself, no doubt, great loss for you in treasure. We’ll not go back to our old estates or leave for other parts, not till she weds the Argive man she fancies.”

The Odyssey, Book II. Translation by Robert Fagles.

Also, she doesn't make a point of being the authority, so she doesn't mind Telemachus being in charge of the house now that he's grown enough while Odysseus is away. When Icarios wanted to know if she really wanted to go with Odysseus, Penelope didn't even answer him, but modestly covered her face with her veil.

Odysseus endured it for a time, but at last he bade Penelope either to accompany him willingly, or else, if she preferred her father, to go back to Lacedaemon. They say that she made no reply, but covered her face with a veil in reply to the question, so that Icarios, realizing that she wished to depart with Odysseus, let her go, and dedicated an image of Modesty; for Penelope, they say, had reached this point of the road when she veiled herself.

Description of Greece, 3.20.11. Translation by W.H.S. Jones, Litt.D., and H.A. Ormerod, M.A.

She's also the type to take precautions, as Penelope is cautious. That's why despite seeing Odysseus after 20 years of separation, she still tests him. After so many years without seeing him, without even hearing any news, it is natural that Penelope is so disbelieved that she wants to confirm that the man is really her husband. She lived between a strong hope of finding him and so she waited for him and between a strong hopelessness and so she didn't believe him. In a way, I think she was really strong in that part. I think most people, missing someone so much, would simply have run for the hug. But Penelope somehow still had the self-control to take precautions.

Although Penelope herself isn't violent, she doesn't actively disapprove of violence. When the suitors were killed, at no point did she ever wonder about it, for Penelope it was simply a relief after years of them tormenting her and her son (even planning to kill Telemachus). Something like "well, if they hadn't insisted on continuing to be horrible guests, then this wouldn't happen." She also doesn't care about the hanging servants, as as someone who grew up royalty, this was never a concern for Penelope. After all, Penelope and Odysseus are the kind of connected couple (like, just see homophrosyne), so it wouldn't make sense for Penelope to be the type to disapprove of violence when that's clearly not the case with Odysseus. Also, in The Odyssey, Penelope really wanted to get rid of the suitors soon and didn't really show that she cared about the hanging servants, so…

She's also pretty, and it shows. In a version given by Pausanias, various suitors compete for her, but Odysseus wins. In The Odyssey, it is said that the suitors' hearts were filled with desire at the sight of her, so it's not like they just wanted to be kings and weren't even a little attracted to Penelope.

Additionally, I prefer to give different characterizations for the Spartan trio (Helen, Clytemnestra, Penelope), each representing different types of women and how they were perceived by society. I don't like making them all eccentric, confident and bold because then it wouldn't be interesting in my opinion, it would be like writing 3 different women and yet they're the same. And in Penelope's case, the ancient Greeks considered her an ideal, traditional woman. In fact, Penelope has ACTUALLY been compared to Helen and Clytemnestra as an example, even in The Odyssey. And yes, I know this might make some people's eyes roll nowadays, but I still think it's an important aspect of the character considering the social context of the time.

I don't think Penelope would judge Helen or Clytemnestra, I don't think she sees herself as a moral example, but I definitely think other characters do (depending on the character, it's even canon. Agamemnon thinks so). I've seen someone act as if Penelope being smart makes her different from the ideal woman, but I honestly disagree. The cunning women that the ancient Greeks wrote negative about were women who used cunning to harm their husband and/or children regardless of the reason (Clytemnestra and Medea, for example). Penelope uses her ruse in FAVOR of her husband and son, it's not the same thing. This isn't simply cunning = wrong.

Some examples about it:

'True, true,’ Agamemnon’s ghost kept pressing on, 'so even your own wife — never indulge her too far. Never reveal the whole truth, whatever you may know; just tell her a part of it, be sure to hide the rest. Not that you, Odysseus, will be murdered by your wife She’s much too steady, her feelings run too deep, Icarius’ daughter Penelope, that wise woman. She was a young bride, I well remember… we left her behind when we went off to war, with an infant boy she nestled at her breast. That boy must sit and be counted with the men now— happy man! His beloved father will come sailing home and see his son, and he will embrace his father, that is only right. But my wife — she never even let me feast my eyes on my own son; she killed me first, his father! I tell you this — bear it in mind, you must— when you reach your homeland steer your ship into port in secret, never out in the open… the time for trusting women’s gone forever!

The Odyssey, Book XI. Translation by Robert Fagles.

And Eubulus, in his Chrysille, says— May that man, fool as he is, who marries A second wife, most miserably perish; Him who weds one, I will not blame too much, For he knew little of the ills he courted. But well the widower had proved all The ills which are in wedlock and in wives. And a little further on he says— O holy Jove, may I be quite undone, If e'er I say a word against the women, The choicest of all creatures. And suppose Medea was a termagant,—what then? Was not Penelope a noble creature? If one should say, “Just think of Clytæmnestra,” I meet him with Alcestis chaste and true. Perhaps he'll turn and say no good of Phædra; But think of virtuous . . . . who?. . . . Alas, alas! I cannot recollect another good one, Though I could still count bad ones up by scores.

The Deipnosophists, 13.8. Translation by Henry G. Bohn.

Helen was covetous, Paris luxurious. On the other side, Ulysses was prudent, Penelope chaste. Happy therefore was the match between the latter; but the nuptials of the former brought an Iliad of miseries as well upon the Greeks as barbarians.

Conjugalia Pracepta, 21. Translation by William Goodwin.

[...] Let her bethink herself how Alcestis would never have attained such renown nor Penelope have deserved all the high praises bestowed on her had not their husbands known adversity; whereas the troubles of Admetus and Ulysses have obtained for their wives a reputation that shall never die. For because in time of distress they proved themselves faithful and dutiful to their husbands, the gods have bestowed on them the honor they deserved. To find partners in prosperity is easy enough; [60] but only the best women are ready to share in adversity. For all these reasons it is fitting that a woman should pay her husband an honor greater by far, nor feel shame on his account even when, as Orpheus says,“Holy health of soul, and wealth, the child of a brave spirit, companion him no more.”

Economics. Translation by G.C. Armstrong.

An example of the comedy genre:

First Woman What! we ought not to punish you, who alone have dared [545] to defend the man who has done so much harm, whom it pleases to put all the vile women that ever were upon the stage, who only shows us Melanippes and Phaedras? But of Penelope he has never said a word, because she was reputed chaste and good. Mnesilochus I know the reason. It's because not a single [550] Penelope exists among the women of to-day, but all without exception are Phaedras.

Thesmophoriazusae. Translation by Eugene O'Neill.

BONUS: a rare case where a man managed to blame her for being CHASTE. You didn't read it wrong!

Homer shows us that every woman is wicked and treacherous; be she chaste or a whore, in either case she is perdition. Helen's adultery caused the murder of men, and Penelope's chastity caused death. All the woes of the Iliad were for the sake of one woman, and Penelope was the cause of the Odyssey.

Greek Anthology, 9.166. Translation by William Roger Paton.

[spacecadet-ticklesinspace]

Ticklish Understanding

Summary: After a visit at work from his girls, Barnum learns something interesting about young Philip Carlyle ❤️

(Thank you @lottie-lokisdottir for your help and suggestions ❤️ I loved getting to write this :) Enjoy! 😁)

"Goodbye girls! I'll see you at home!"

"Bye daddy!"

Barnum closed the office door. "I swear, those girls get smarter and smarter everyday."

"You have a couple geniuses on your hands Barnum." Philip shuffled some papers. "One day, they'll even outsmart you."

"And then they'll outsmart you Mr. Carlyle." Barnum winked at his young friend before stepping back to his desk. "The man who knows everything outsmarted by the two greatest girls ever."

"I don't know everything," Philip responded with a blush.

"Oho really?"

"I'm serious Barnum."

The older man leaned against his desk. "Name one thing the great Philip Carlyle doesn't know."

"Well for starters, how to deal with with your insufferable extravagance," Philip teased. "And that thing you do with your daughters."

P.T's eyebrows furrowed his eyebrows together. "What thing?"

"That thing you were doing earlier."

"Ah yes, because that it narrows it down."

Philip rolled his eyes. "That thing you were doing earlier where you would squeeze them and they would laugh and squeal."

Barnum thought back over the events of the day and tried to deduce what he was talking about. An image flickered into his mind of Caroline and Helen giggling under him as he squeezed their sides. "Tickling?"

"Is that what you call it?" Philip asked.

The older man scoffed. "You're joking."

Philip shook his head. "Nope.

A strange look came over PT's face. "You genuinely don't know what tickling is?"

The look his friend was giving him made Philip suspicious. "Am I supposed too?"

In a moment of passion, Barnum slapped the desk before standing and making his way over to the younger man's desk. "You don't know what tickling is?"

Philip jumped. "Sheesh Barnum, I already told you, didn't I?"

"I just can't believe it."

Philip set aside his papers and turned to his friend as he leaned against the side of his desk. There was no use trying to work when he wouldn't let this go.

"I thought it was the duty of every parent to pass that knowledge on to their child. My mother, bless her, gave that knowledge to me before she died and I in turn gave it to my kids. Even Charity's parents gave it to her and you know what they're like."

"Sorry tickling wasn't included in my parents training."

"Did your parents even hold you wrong?"

"No, they left that up to the Nanny." Philip used the pen in his hands to motion to the mountain of paperwork on the desk. "Are we done?"

"No."

The younger man groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose.

Barnum tapped his shoulder and stood. "Humor me for a minute."

"But what about our work?"

"The work can wait."

Philip sighed and stood. When Barnum got an idea in his head, there was no stopping him. He had learned it was better to go along with it than try to argue.

Barnum positioned them in front of the couch. "Now, you are aware that in the body, there are nerves that allow you to feel things, correct?"

"Yes, like I can feel the clothes on my back. Are we done?"

Barnum held up a hand. "Patience. Now many of those nerves signal there is something wrong. For example, if you were to stick your hand on that stove back there, your nerves would tell you what?"

"To get my hand away."

"Correct---."

"What does this have to do with tickling?"

"You'll see." Barnum grabbed one of Philip's arms. "Now, it's not just pain that the nerves feel, it's also weight and pressure, correct?"

The younger man shrugged. "I guess."

"To give an example." Barnum wrapped his hand around Philip's wrist and gently pressed his thumb into his wrist. "You can feel the weight of my hand and the pressure of my thumb."

"Again, what does this have to do with tickling?"

"This is all leading up to the same point if you'll just let me get there."

After another sigh, Philip motioned with his free hand for him to continue.

"Thank you. The biggest point I'm trying to make is that the nerves register or feel different things and they don't always have the same response to what they're feeling. So if I were to squeeze, your nerves would detect pressure, pain, or a tickle." Barnum emphasized his last point with a squeeze to Philip's side.

The younger man squealed and pulled his side in the opposite direction. A strange shock had gone up his side. It hadn't hurt, it had just felt so odd and made him nervous. Yet it also made him desperately want to laugh and squirm. "What the. . ."

"Of course, since you can find these nerves all over your body, you can be ticklish just about anywhere."

"What? Wow!"

In one motion, Barnum was sitting down on the couch with Philip in his lap.

The younger man blushed at the position he was in. "Barnum!"

"I understand it can be a bit overwhelming your first time," PT soothed as he wrapped his arms around his young friend. "However, you can grow to love it."

"Love what?"

"Tickling."

"That feeling when you squeezed my side?"

"Yes."

"That's tickling?"

"Yes."

"And people love it?"

"Yes?"

"Why?"

Barnum shrugged as he repositioned them both into a more reclined position. "Stress relief, bonding."

"Embarrassing more like it."

"You had one squeeze Philip. How can you say it's embarrassing?"

"Why am I sitting in your lap?"

"You're never to old for a cuddle. Besides, this is how I usually do it with my daughters."

"Who I am five times the size of!"

Barnum scoffed. "Please, you're not that big. Besides, it's part of the bonding."

"I can bond with you just fine from the couch."

"I have to be able to reach you."

"You can reach me from the couch."

Barnum grinned. "I also think it's funny to watch you get so flustered."

Philip sighed. "You're insufferable."

"May I continue, please?"

"Fine."

"Thank you." Barnum ruffled Philip's hair. "Now, like I mentioned earlier, the nerves spread to different parts of the body meaning you can be ticklish anywhere."

"Really?"

"Yep." Barnum squeezed the different spots as he listed them. "Areas like your stomach. Your hips. Your ribs. Even your armpits."

The reactions Philip's gave were priceless. He quickly turned into a squealing, squirming mess in Barnum's lap. Very undignified from his usual appearance.

Barnum loved seeing the bright smile on his face and hearing the child-like laughter filling the office. The older man paused his tickles long enough to give his friend's cheek a friendly pinch. "You're actually adorable when you're not being a pompous little businessman."

Philip growled and turned his face away. "You're such a jerk!"

"A loving jerk though." PT rested his chin on Philip's shoulder. "But you know what the best thing about tickles is?"

"That Ihi'll behe getting revenge later."

"No, the best thing about tickles is that you don't have to use your hands."

"Wh-what?"

"You can use your nose." Barnum rubbed his nose against Philip's neck.

Philip squeaked and turtled.

"You can use your chin." Barnum switched to rubbing his chin against his neck.

"Ah!"

"You can use your lips." The older man peppered a few kisses into Philip's neck.

The blush on the younger man's face darkened significantly. "Barnum!"

"Or, you can use your breath." Barnum blew a raspberry into Philip's neck.

"SQUEE!" Then the younger man snorted.

"That was very undignified of you Mr. Carlyle." P.T pinched his side. "But I'll let it slide."

Philip squeaked then leaned against the older man. "That's the last tihime Ihi let you explain anything toho mehe!"

"Now I know what to do when you get to uptight." PT ruffled his hair again. "A few side squeezes and you're your smiley self again."

Philip growled again. "I'm so getting yohou bahack."

"I'll look out for it." Barnum released Philip from the tickle hug, but the younger man didn't get up right away. "I thought you were desperate to finish your paperwork Mr. Carlyle?"

"In a minute."

"Oh really?"

Philip quickly squeezed Barnum's sides. "Revenge is more important."

The older man let out a few chuckles, but his sides weren't much of a hot spot. He quickly grabbed his younger friend's hands and wrapped him in another hug. "One thing you need to learn about tickling Phil. If you want to get back at someone who attacked you first, aim for their weaker spots."

Philip rolled his eyes. "How am I supposed to know them if you won't let me find them!"

PT Barnum pinched along Philip's sides. "Where's the fun in that?"

With another squeal, the younger man squirmed to the side and and accidentally tipped himself over.

"You alright?"

"Yehes. No thanks to yohou."

"Aww, don't be such a party pooper Phil." Barnum stood. "You lost your first tickle fight, but there will be others."

The younger man bolted upright. "Others?"

"Of course. Especially since your tickle tolerance is so low." The older man tapped his chin. "Hmm, maybe it would be a good idea to have a daily tickle time until you get your stamina up to where it needs to be. Say, maybe I can get the rest of the circus to join in."

Philip flopped back on to the couch. "You don't even subject your own children to that kind of torture!"

"Not all of my kids."

Philip turned to Barnum and gave him a strange look.

The older man winked. "You're the special exception child."

Those words washed over Philip as he stared at the man in front of him. He wasn't sure when he became the Barnum's adoptive son, but he found himself okay with it. He didn't have the greatest childhood, despite what it looked on the outside, and here, he had a home of people who cared.

"Come on Sonny." PT turned back to his desk. "Back to work."

With his back turned, Philip took a small pillow from the couch and chucked it at Barnum. It landed square in the center of his back, causing the older man to stop.

PT slowly turned to look at his young friend grinning on the couch then down to the pillow laying on the floor. "So that is how you want to play. Very undignified indeed."

"You sound like my father."

"How dare you insult me with such comparisons!"

That brought a smile to Philip's face."

"Just for that horrendous comparison, you shall be sentenced to a pillow attack."

In the blink of an eye, both men had a pillow in their hands and were facing off from opposite sides of the room.

A moment later, the two charged forward leaving a trail of feathers in their wake.

[justmybookthots]

My Top 30 Books of 2023

30. An Ember in the Ashes (#1) by Sabaa Tahir

Such a terrific debut!!!! I loved it. From the moment Laia signed on to spy on the military academy, I was hooked. Premise was intriguing as heck, and Elias' mother was fascinating to me. Some small things I didn't love, however—I wished Laia had been more involved in the trials. Elias, the MMC, felt a bit weak of a character to me, and I wasn't a fan of Helene (I like her so much more in the sequel, though). The ending left the story at such an exciting place, and I was hankering for the next book. 

29. Red Winter (#1) by Annette Marie

We're at the midway point of my ranking, and from here on out it's books I mostly really enjoyed. Red Winter!! The first book!! When I read it, my mind was kinda blown because it felt like I was reading a very well-written novel spinoff of Kamisama Kiss/Inuyasha, and I loved both series as a child. Also, the illustrations in the novel are soooo good, and Shiro the MMC/fox is cute. ( ˘͈ ᵕ ˘͈♡) It was a solid book, and I had a blast, BUT— this is not the best Annette Marie has to offer. Nope. I will get to her magnum opus (for me)... eventually. 

28. Check & Mate by Ali Hazelwood

I shouldn't have spoken so soon about the midway point. This book… was very hard to rank. The beginning had me deliciously invested (and is what establishes such a high rank) but my interest languished the more the book progressed. I actually think people who like SJM may like this one because it's pretty much a power fantasy, but make it contemporary. Regardless, I did have a good time if I ignored the power fantasy elements. Sawyer was a great hero, and Mallory was nicely tortured, which is just how I like my heroines. :)

27. The Housemaid's Secret (The Housemaid #2) by Freida McFadden

Ah, the sequel to the Housemaid! Not as good as the prequel, but still pretty good!!! I think the themes it covered didn't hit me as hard as the Housemaid did, but the story stayed with me longer than some of Freida's other works. Overall a solid sequel, but I don't think it could have really lived up to what the Housemaid did for me.

26. A Good Girl's Guide to Murder by Holly Jackson

I'm not a huge fan of Jackson's writing style or the characterisation of Ravi and his brother, but the mystery was so good! I loved the themes it covered and the psyche of the victim. 

This mystery is quite fleshed out and goes in depth about abuse, sexism, etc. I disliked the main leads, but enjoyed the case and the reveal. I was much more invested in the victim than I was in the person who was wrongly accused of murdering her, even though I think we were supposed to care for both? 

Anyway, it's definitely a much more memorable thriller than the ones below the ranking of this list so far. 

25. A Kiss of Iron by Clare Sager

Another book that's kind of hard to rank for me. The romance was reaaaally good at the start, and then somewhere it kind of lost me?? But the story was interesting and I LOVED the plot twist (!!!!!) at the end, and the smut was one of my favourites. Also, the hero did something so sweet in the second half of the book. ♡ That aside, while this may be a fae book, I just don't think this is anything like how fae should be in my head. It doesn't feel like I'm reading fae at all.

24. If You Could See the Sun by Ann Liang

AH, Henry, my beloved!!!!!! My first book of Ann Liang's, and it was so cute and Henry was just!!! Almost!!! Everything!! The Chinese rep also made me so happy!!! It depresses me that I couldn't love it as much as I wanted to because the story was riddled with issues towards the end but I loved the rest of it. This book walked so that the other book of Ann's could run! (We will see that other book along the list soon.)

23. Six of Crows (Six of Crows #1) by Leigh Bardugo

If my friend saw this list, she'd go: "SoC, in 23rd place? DISOWNED". To that, I say…

Sowwieee.  

I LOVE the Crows, but it's not this book that definitively sealed the deal about them to me. This is 100% my personal gripe because my brain hates setting-centric books and it was so hard for me to figure out the logistics behind the heist. But I loved the banter in this book, Kaz's brains, Inej’s badassery, and the revelation about Jesper being Grisha. Also Wylan, my baby. My love. 

Ahhhhh, can't talk about the Crows or I'll start to melt. Make a TV show that ADAPTS THE ICE HEIST ALREADY.

22. City of Bones (Mortal Instruments #1) by Cassandra Clare

OMG, it just occurred to me that if the same friend saw this being ranked above SoC, she's really going to have an aneurysm. 🤣 

I'm not going to elaborate other than the fact that I had a fun and easy time with this book, even if it was far from perfect. It actually exceeded my (admittedly) very low expectations, lol. In any case, I've already written a more in-depth review of it. 

21. One Dark Window by Rachel Gillig

A really, really solid book. I loved the concept of magical cards in the worldbuilding. While it doesn't do anything groundbreaking, nor was I extremely invested in the leads, I consider this very well-done. I loved Elm, lol. However, I've yet to read the second book and I hope to get on it soon.

20. The Perfect Son by Freida McFadden

I loved this thriller!!! But this is mostly because I am VERY partial to psychopathic boys written in the way Liam was—and at the same time, you realise: are real psychopaths that easy to spot? Is he really a psychopath, or is it someone else? This is probably one of my favourites from Freida, and the ending… made me so nervous, lol. 

19. How the King of Elfhame Learned to Hate Stories by Holly Black 

A short novella written by Holly Black, with vignettes set in Cardan's POV as he grew up over the years. I fucking loved it to pieces, but that's just because I love Cardan 😛 I loved how the stories the hag told Cardan kept changing to fit his narrative, I loved seeing his perspective when Nicasa cheated on him with Locke, I loved hearing about how he felt towards Jude. Also: the last chapter, set after Queen of Nothing!! Him and Jude!!!!!! My heart!!!!!!! I will not elaborate except that it was fucking amazing. The only downside was that it was too short, and I could have done with MORE scenes. 

18. Last of the Talons by Sophie Kim

It's a novel that does very little wrong. Its only sin is that it's predictable and formulaic, but it was such a wholesome and at times swoony story because Rui (the goblin emperor) was lovely. While I didn't love Lina, the heroine, I thought the book was still fun, and THAT scene by the river was ( ◡‿◡ *). I'll be reading the sequel once it's out.

17. The Serpent and the Wings of Night by Carissa Broadbent

I have so many conflicting feelings about this book. See, this is the book that got me into reading fantasy this year. For so long, I'd avoided fantasy, but after I finished this, I decided I'd give the rest of the genre a try. It literally rearranged my entire brain and opened something in me—it was sooooo good. The slow burn, the trials, the eventual consummation, the ending… I can't fault it. Almost every other fantasy book I've read has this one to thank (and Kingdom of the Wicked to blame because it almost made me boycott the genre, lol). However—the problem is that I've read it so long ago (at the start of the year) that I can't remember much, and also that the sequel bored me to tears and I still haven't finished that. If I ranked this earlier in the year, it might be much higher in the ranks.

16. Emily Wilde's Encyclopaedia of Faeries by Heather Fawcett

This book!!!!!! It was so unexpected how much I enjoyed it. A lot of reviews were complaining about the verbiage and how nothing was really happening and I… went into it thinking I wouldn't like it, if I'm being honest. But I did!!!!!!!!!!! It portrayed fae similarly to the Folk of the Air series (The Cruel Prince), and instead of boring me like the Enchantment of Ravens did, I was HOOKED. I loved how it kept me on my toes, I loved how creepy some things were… and I thought Wendell was insane and so much fun (insane he might be, but you cannot deny his untouchable EQ). Also, Emily is such a dear. I must add that Reverse grumpy/sunshine is my FAVOURITE.  I could go on and on about this book. It's marvellous and I'm so desperate for the sequel. In fact, I think I'm going to do a reread of this book before the sequel comes out. 🙂

15. Delivering Evil for Experts (Guild Codex: Demonized #4) by Annette Marie

OMG, OMG… We have finally reached the Guild Codex: Demonized series. 

(*ﾉдﾉ)

Now THIS series is, as far as I'm concerned, Annette's magnum opus. Not Red Winter. THIS. Don't mock the goofy-ass cover—it's a GEM UNDERNEATH! IT'S AMONG MY FAVOURITE BOOKS OF ALL TIME. It's one of the holy trinity series (yes, that's what I'm dubbing those three series) that broke my brain this year. This action series is about a girl (Robin) who makes a contract with a demon, Zylas, where he has to protect her in exchange for... her baking cookies for him. 🤣 It sounds ridiculous, but I promise it all makes sense when you read it. Unfortunately, this is the last book, which was my least favourite of the series because the tension had started to ebb for me. BUT. It's still so, so good. The ending was initially gearing up to be a tragedy but ahhh!! I am content with how it ended. 

14. City of Ashes (Mortal Instruments #2) by Cassandra Clare

Never would I have thought this book would be higher than one of the books from Guild Codex: Demonized but I really, unexpectedly enjoyed City of Ashes. It was better than the first; I thought it was a solid and frankly speaking great book. I did hear, however, that the first 3 books in this series are actually decent before the rest nose-dives in quality, which explains why I enjoyed the first 2 so much. (I've already written a full review on this book.) 

13. The Queen of Nothing (Folk of the Air #3) by Holly Black

We have finally reached the Cruel Prince series. *hyperventilates* 

Okay. Okay. 

So. 

The last book is my least favourite of the trilogy, but… it is also the culmination of Jude and Cardan's relationship. We have "By you, I am forever undone" here. (There's even more quotes, technically, but I'm trying to keep this succinct.) It is legendary. It is magnificent. It is immaculate. Overall, the plot in this book may be my least favourite, but the payoff after two books of scheming and constant push and pull? Fucking chef's kiss. 

12. The Only One Left by Riley Sager

One of the best thrillers of 2023 for me. It is so, so, so good. I don't think I can stress how brilliant this book is. Story revolves around a mute, sick old lady wheelchair-bound inside a gothic manor on a cliff. The main character is sent to be her caretaker. And the old lady has a story to tell—she was accused of murdering her entire family in her youth. Very atmospheric and chilling read.

See, I expected the first plot twist but the SECOND? Wowza. Magnifique. Also such a sad, tragic tale. It felt me reeling for a good bit after I was done. It deserved to win the 2023 GR awards and NOT Housemaid's Secret. It's not even close to me. 

11. The Housemaid by Freida McFadden

This book. This fucking book. 

It broke me out of a reading slump at the start of the year but that's not why it's left such an indelible mark on my brain. The way this story covers infidelity and abuse… Wow. Exquisite. And the way the tables turn at the end is so good it's ILLEGAL. 

In fact, I think the theme here just hit closer to home for me than The Only One Left, even though the writing of the latter is definitely superior. This is my first book of Freida's and is, to me, her best work. 

10. The Maid's Diary by Loreth Anne White

[Takes deep breath] This story was so unexpected for me. I wasn't expecting to like it. At all. It was supposed to be a palate cleanser.

A palate cleanser, I thought! HA! 

This wasn't perfect. There were plot holes. Some things weren't wrapped up. BUT. BUT. BUT. It is the best thriller I read this year and I stand by that. I have never, ever felt more vindicated by a book than I did this one. It is a work of art. 

One line to sum this story up? I SUPPORT WOMEN'S WRONGS. That’s it. That's all you need to know. (That said: Full review has been written)

9. Hunting Fiends for the Ill-Equipped (Guild Codex: Demonized #3) by Annette Marie

We are in the top ten now. Gird your loins! 

This book!!!!!! Ahhhh. I can't even write this coherently, and I'm only at the ninth. But this was the book where the relationship between Zylas and Robin finally began to change!!!!!!! It was so divine, it was near perfect, it made me scream and want to tear my hair out—I can't. This was a slow-burn done right. It was just a little hint of what was to come, and yet… yet it short-circuited my brain. Also, I do not APPRECIATE the emotional turmoil Annette put me through with this one.

8. This Time It's Real by Ann Liang

🥺 At this point, my writing is going to be incoherent. Because these are my absolute favourites. I'm crying. I'm seriously crying. This book was everything to me (even though a friend read it and she said the guy was too perfect for her liking and I get it. I really do. I agree. But... I loved it). 

(;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`)

I have nothing coherent to say except I loved it. And that, much as I didn't want to admit it, this stupid book put me in a reading slump for 2 months. I found myself constantly trying to find books with similar tropes as this: celebrity/non-celebrity, Asian rep, cute swoony contemporary romance. I couldn't find anything that hit the same way.

7. The Cruel Prince (Folk of the Air #1) by Holly Black

Do I need to say more? DO I????????? 

I took a gamble buying the whole boxset before reading it and I thought I was fucked because usually that means I'm going to hate it. Fate isn't normally this kind to me. But my gamble paid off. It fucking paid off!

The prose, the political intrigue, my first venture into fae… Also, Jude's spite is low-key TOO relatable: “If I cannot be better than them, I will become so much worse.”

Talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing, show stopping, spectacular, never the same, totally unique, completely not ever been done before, unafraid to reference or not reference, put it in a blender, shit on it, vomit on it, eat it, give birth to it—

6. Love, Theoretically by Ali Hazelwood

This, above Cruel Prince? Yes, it feels illegal, but here's why: Cruel Prince is only the first book. We don't get the payoff yet. In Love Theoretically, you get everything from start to finish. It's like a whole ass trilogy in one book. 

And the slow-burn in the first half of this book is LEGENDARY. I was actually kicking my feet like a teenager. That in itself is monumental, because I'd stopped enjoying/reading contemporary romance for at least a year before this book came. I'd actually given up on the genre/demographic at some point… until this.

Jack is one of my favourite male leads to ever exist. And the themes the book covers with Elsie hits so close to home for me. It's not perfect, but belong to my top ten it does. 

5. Slaying Monsters for the Feeble (Guild Codex: Demonized #2) by Annette Marie

The top five books are really, really cutting it close, because this book is, in my opinion, near perfection. It's INSANE how Annette could carry the momentum from a perfect first book and make it just as exciting as the predecessor. The action scenes were phenomenal, and I loved the makeshift family between the three leads and the cat. Also Zylas' characterisation and the exploration of his psychopathy was so INCREDIBLE. I can go and on about this book forever. I still remember reading this on the toilet and going: "HOW IS THIS SO GOOD?"

IT'S A WORK OF ART. 

4. The Wicked King (The Folk of the Air #2) by Holly Black

The best book in the Cruel Prince series to me. The mind games, the scheming, Jude's machinations, the twists, the ENDING, I could scream. Jude is a force to be reckoned with. And the tension between her and Cardan? Sublime. Throughout the whole book, Jude has him under her control, but she knows time is ticking and he'll break free of the magic soon. The suspense and the push and pull is… 

ლಠ益ಠლ)

Another work of fucking art. I only have so many adjectives to praise this bona fide masterpiece. But wait! I still have three more books. 

3. The Stolen Heir by Holly Black

So many people would stare me down for this. The Stolen Heir (the spin-off sequel) above Cruel Prince? YES. OKAY? YES. 

I prefer Jude to Wren (who is arguably a bigger force to be reckoned with in her own right), but. OAK. Almost nobody liked him, but I did. I DID. It's fine; I will be his only fan. No biggie.

Oak was everything that I felt Cardan—whom I already loved—lacked in. Oak… Ah, Oak. I just have a soft spot for sweet sunshine characters who are also secret badasses. It's like Holly plucked out the archetype I like in men and created Oak (okay, I don't love the hooves but that's beside the point). I adored this book with my beating heart and I just don't think the sequel can live up to it.

 (I just read the first chapter of the sequel and I'm already shaking. Please don't let me down. I've been burned by too many sequels at this point.)

2. Taming Demons for Beginners (Guild Codex: Demonized #1) by Annette Marie

A masterpiece. That's what this first book is. Even the Stolen Heir and Wicked King had parts I didn't love, but this? It's *chef's kiss* from start to finish.

Every scene and exchange built towards a fantastic crescendo near the end when THAT contract was made. Gah. The delicate balance of comedy, tension and suspense was immaculate. And the magic in those scenes when Robin first stumbles upon Zylas inside the summoning circle is…

( ˘ ³˘)♥

I'm not going to pretend this book is a literary tour de force that's going to be analysed like Hunger Games is, or anywhere close to that. All I will say is that this was the first book that blew my socks off after my Cruel Prince-induced slump, and that says enough about it. 

1. Crooked Kingdom (Six of Crows #2) by Leigh Bardugo 

Remember when I said the last book was easy to place? The first book was also easy to place. This took almost NO contemplation at all. 

Here we have the final one of my holy trinity series, alongside Folk of the Air and Demonized.

Since it wasn't so setting-centric like the first book, this sequel shone for me. I don't… I can't… There are no words. Kaz is a male Jude, but even smarter and more traumatised. Every Crow is majorly fleshed out, and they all get some kind of closure at the end. (One also… ends, but never mind that one.) It's so cathartic I could fucking cry; I nearly did. Kaz and Inej are forever etched in a special corner of my heart. This is not a book that I can give justice to by writing one or two paragraphs about, so I won't. I've already written all my thoughts in my review. All I will say is that it deserves all the hype it gets. 

In fact, it deserves more.

SoC #3? 👉👈

[cartograffiti]

July '23 reading diary

I'm reading so many books these days that I've decided monthly posts would be a fun way to think about what books are grabbing me and shove them in front of other people.

In July I finished 12 books, many of them really lovely.

This summer I've been reading all of Cat Sebastian's 20th century romances, because I'd already read all her 18th and 19th century ones. I like her work a lot, because it's full of really powerful romantic gestures and she writes domestic slice of life as well as crimes. In July I read the last three I needed to have read her whole body of work, and found a new favorite.

Peter Cabot Gets Lost and Daniel Cabot Puts Down Roots are the second and third in a romance series that can easily be read out of order, all about estranged queer members of a Kennedys-ish political family. Peter's is a 1960s coast-to-coast road trip about fresh college grads with outstanding grumpy for sunshine chemistry, and it's the one that became my new favorite (my previous favorite was A Duke in Disguise). It has a wonderful ease and warmth to it, and I would have cheerfully read a version twice as long.

His cousin Daniel's book has some odd pacing--the last several chapters all feel like bonus codas to the main arc--but I enjoyed it all so much I don't care. This one's a cozy plot of friends who everyone knows are couple except themselves, starring a music critic and a doctor in New York's East Village in the 1970s. This is a great pick for anyone who feels like romances tend to move too fast, since their relationship is well established when they decide to change it. Their attraction to each other has a lot of emphasis on each other's quirks and their opposing personal styles, which is deeply cute.

The third Cat Sebastian I read was We Could Be So Good, which is her new release. It's a touching story about New York newspapermen in the 1950s, with an astonishing amount of pining. Like, Pacific Northwest pine content. I remarked in my liveblog that I felt like I was watching pandas in a zoo: "Please fuck the whole world would love for you to fuck, top scientists are trying to set the mood for you." This was fun! I prefer her faster-moving and more explicit books, which is most of them, but it's nice to read about a personable couple helping each other over hurdles so they can kiss.

The English Eccentrics by Edith Sitwell is a book I read very slowly and finished this month. It's a very odd work of nonfiction from the 1930s, and I wish I could remember how I first got interested in it. It's an overview of a large number of historical people whose "eccentricity" ranged, for me, from delightful to pitiable to repellent. Sitwell's style is a bit dense and full of opinion in a way that made me question her research when she touched on figures I had some familiarity with, like the con artist Princess Caraboo. More intriguing than informative.

The Duchess of Bloomsbury Street by Helene Hanff is a more satisfying nonfiction pick, a memoir follow up to the hugely charming 84, Charing Cross Road. This book recounts American writer Hanff's visit to some of the long-distance friends she corresponded with in the first book. I find the first much more moving, as a person with many similar friendships, and I missed the additional voices of her friends, but it's a slim book and Hanff's humor and observations kept me entertained throughout.

And my favorite nonfiction in July was Girls Can Kiss Now, a book of essays on pop culture and queer identity by Jill Gutowitz. Gutowitz is older than I am, but we're close enough in age for events to feel very relevant to me as an individual, and she writes with a lot of approachability and lightness without sacrificing insight. If you're interested in how rapidly media handling of queerness changed in the last 20 years, this is great.

Threshold and Stormhaven by Jordan L. Hawk. I read Widdershins, the first in this series about Victorian boyfriends solving mysteries about eldritch horrors, in 2015. I never quite wanted to invest in buying the whole series, so I was delighted to find one of my libraries has an omnibus of the series in their e-collection. Hawk is very good at writing horror and sex, solid at writing mysteries, and maybe just okay at interpersonal arcs. These first books have some problems common to inexperienced writers and some pet peeves of mine (notably very irritating romantic jealousy), but they're loads of fun and a good amount of disturbing. Is it silly to nervously roll over in bed to cope with an alien shrimp's dialogue? Yes, but that's a selling point.

A Curious Beginning by Deanna Raybourn is the first Veronica Speedwell novel, and it took me a few months to read because I kept finding it a bit thin and putting it aside. I liked the resolution very much because it made the stakes I'd been missing real, and since Veronica and her love interest(?) have great chemistry, I look forward to reading the next. Pleasingly similar in tone and setting to Gail Carriger, though not Steampunk.

Frederica by Georgette Heyer. One of Heyer's best, I think. Heyer wrote a fairly narrow set of types for her main characters, and both of the romantic leads here are ones I like, who are natural and immediate collaborators and challengers for each other, plus great siblings and a chase after an out-of-control hot air balloon.

Hallowe'en Party by Agatha Christie, who only wrote books I've thought were great so far. This is a 1969 Hercule Poirot and Ariadne Oliver about the suburban murder of a 13 year old, preoccupied with generation gaps and 60s panics about the still fairly new concept of teenagers, ranging from marijuana and early computer technology to sex abuse and suicide. Great insights on the things people blame violent crime on because they don't want to consider malice, and lovely imagery about a famous garden designer's work. It's been adapted by Branagh as Death in Venice, and I'm very puzzled how they got from A to B. Don't pick this up expecting the vibe of that trailer. Do pick it up.

Thinking about young teens and murder brought me back to the Wells and Wong mysteries, an excellent recent middle grade series I started in the fall to surprise a friend with a treat for the Yuletide fic exchange. The second book is Poison is Not Polite in the US, originally Arsenic for Tea--you might want to look for author Robin Stevens instead of futzing around with varying titles to see whether you can borrow this series yourself. Anyway, both books so far are really strong, with cases that have enough subtlety and meat for me as an adult reader, and excellent writing on mystery tropes, race and class, and the particular frustrations of being about 13 years old. I'm deeply invested in Hazel and Daisy, and I loved this take on a classic house party case.

[thewomanwhowatchedchristmas]

A Castle for Christmas (2021)

I guess I didn’t realize this was a Netflix original. I thought this would be terrible, but it wasn’t. I typically like Netflix originals a bit more than Hallmark originals. Something else I discovered about myself while watching this- I am not really a fan of Brooke Shields, but I did warm up to her a little by the end.

Sophie Brown (Brooke Shields) is a famous author whose fans have revolted against her because she killed off the love interest in her popular Emma Gale series. After an appearance on the Drew Barrymore show goes a bit off the rails and with her fans and her publicist Claire (Desiree Burch) breathing down her neck to bring back Winston from the dead, she decides to go to Scotland for a while. Specifically to the small town near the castle Dun Dunbar because her father worked there as a kid before moving to the states. She quickly meets several people from the town, including the castle tour guide Thomas (Lee Ross) and the groundskeeper Myles (Cary Elwes) and his dog Hamish. After visiting the castle and getting into a fight with Myles, she goes to the pub. There she meets a knitting club and quickly befriends them all- middle aged divorcee Maisie (Andi Osho), elderly Helen (Tina Gray) who went to school with Sophie's dad, young and free spirited Rhona (Eilidh Loan), and strong and silent Angus (Stephen Oswald).

Sophie is trying to write her next Emma Gale novel (and she plans on giving in to her fans demands), but it's just not coming to her. She is also trying to buy Dun Dunbar from the owner, who she discovers is Myles, but he's not going down without a fight. So between failing to write, spending time with the knitting club, fighting with Myles, and video chatting with her daughter Lexi (Vanessa Grasse) in college, Sophie is very busy. Claire is still harassing her, but life is showing her that she might have a different story she wants to tell.

I really enjoyed the music in this movie. Like, I'm strongly considering looking into other movies with scores by the same person. Also, I appreciated the de-glamorizing of life in a castle. Brooke Shields isn’t a great actress, but everybody else did well. As an aspiring writer and avid reader, I can appreciate the position Sophie is in. I don't think I'd be someone wanting her to bring back the dead guy, though.

Overall, shockingly good with 4 stars.

[elizabethshaw]

need to get this all out somehow, so - thoughts and general ramblings on the new eight-liv-helen audios! under the cut for spoiler purposes: 

so! general overview - this boxset was. so so good. i really enjoyed last month’s release as well, but this was on another level for me entirely and despite listening to most of it past midnight (i was busy from about 8am until 11.30 at night. tuesdays are just like that every week unfortunately) and so probably not being in the best state of... anything, really, for it, i genuinely enjoyed this set so much and am in all honesty going slightly mad not being able to talk about it to anyone irl. anyway

episode-by-episode thoughts:

here lies drax

- this was a very fun one! now i’ve listened to the full set it does feel a little out of place tonally (this was very much a comedy and the other two. weren’t), but it was definitely enjoyable and had a clever plot

- i did actually do my homework for this one and listened to “the trouble with drax” the other week in preparation! (it was the first time i’d listened to one of four’s audios, actually, which was an interesting experience.) i feel like having that context definitely helped understanding a lot of the references going on, but i do wonder if i’d gone into this cold i would’ve enjoyed it a little more because it did feel at some points like it was retreading “trouble”’s beats a bit. hmm

- i did enjoy it overall though (it was very very funny), and i did like the way it all eventually panned out with all the guest characters being drax except the one character actually credited as drax. definitely appealed to my sense of humour

- there was something so deeply funny to me about the entire funeral scene, but especially the part with eight, whose experience of it up to that point had been all the guests turning up late and one of them straight up shooting the corpse, turning to liv and helen and going “this is exactly how i want my funeral to go”. what is going on in his head <3

- also shoutout to “can you legally shoot a corpse?” i have been wanting to make an out of context clips compilation for this era for ages now and if i ever do get round to doing it that line is definitely going in there

- “i think i want to scream” helen being a mood once again. this is how i have felt for the past 5 weeks at least

the love vampires

- this is currently very closely tied with “albie’s angels” for my favourite episode of both this boxset and this era of standalone stories with the team so far. it’s SO GOOD

- while i do definitely like the more fun, adventure-based episodes, i feel like my real niche with dr who stories is ones that really dig into the characters and this is a great example of the latter category. i was optimistic for this one anyway because, from my limited experience with his big finish work, james kettle seems like a really good writer for character-based stories, but it really exceeded my expectations for it. the character work (especially for helen) was absolutely brilliant!

- CANON QUEER HELEN FINALLY!!!!!!!  🎉 🎉 🎉 🎉

- i listened to the bit where that was confirmed when i was in public and let me tell you it was an absolutely huge effort to not completely lose my shit. i’m fairly sure i was grinning like an idiot the whole way through though

- honestly this whole episode was just fantastic for helen content generally. i am biased because she’s one of my all-time favourite characters, but that 100% drove the whole thing up in my estimation

- hattie morahan’s performance in this (and the next episode) was absolutely brilliant, some of her best in dw imo

- “great. van helsing in space” i don’t particularly have anything to add here i just think this line was fun

- liv’s first love as revealed by this episode is called petko. i looked the name up and apparently it’s bulgarian, and all i’m saying is that this is definitely adding to my “kaldor and slavic languages theory” 😌

- also like. liv’s scene with her respective vampire was so sad??? like i just got this feeling of overwhelming loneliness from it, and... yeah. someone get that woman a hug

- LOTS of thoughts about the scene between eight and liv where he gets her to promise to kill him if things go wrong. it’s actually shorter than i thought it was (went back and relistened for the purposes of making this bullet point), but there is a Lot to unpack there and i think it does highlight some of the stuff that makes their dynamic so interesting. i just don’t see that same scene happening with many other doctor-companion dynamics and, well... many thoughts

- “we’ll go out together. blaze of glory.” undescribable emotions™

- cutting away from the character stuff for a brief moment to discuss a) the atmosphere. the whole vibe of this story was so well-done, including the sound design, it felt really claustrophobic and creepy in the best way, really effective. and b) i thought the becoming were neat. i just think that’s a super cool name for an alien race :)

- “i sometimes think i can be a bit too... buttoned-up... emotionally.” “no... i- i wouldn’t say that.” “why? it’s obviously true.” eight my friend you are not helping here At All <3

albie’s angels

- okay so i’ve somehow got into a mindset where every time a new audio with this tardis team comes out i am absolutely convinced that helen is going to die in it. i thought this was going to be the episode where it happens and let me tell you i am so relieved that i was wrong!!!

- (i still reckon she’s doomed by the narrative though. this is a line of thought that’s really enough for a post of its own so i won’t elaborate here, but yeah. i am still not convinced her ending is going to be a happy one)

- this episode did however utterly wreck me emotionally (affectionate)

- really enjoyed the intro scene! i just like them getting to be silly together, even if it wasn’t for long :’)

- “didn’t we do enough damage to this decade already? put it another way, didn’t it do enough damage to us?” yeah :/

- albie was absolutely lovely :’) he was so sweet and kind and had so much love to give?? he may only be in one episode but i’d die for him

- also interesting to note how genuinely similar he seemed to helen? like they obviously have fairly distinct and different personalities but there were a lot of like, small mannerisms and stuff that they shared and it just really added something to their dynamic. they actually felt like siblings, really makes me wish that dw would do sibling duos like this more often tbh

- “helen chenka” i am trying so hard to be normal about liv/helen and keep my expectations for what’ll happen with them in check and every day i am tested. what the fuck. 

- actually you know what this entire episode had a LOT of liv/helen moments??? like i kinda just assumed the whole thing was dead in the water after stranded but now... i’m having a lot of thoughts. maybe that big finish tweet from august or whenever it was was right

- the snowball fight scene. i will actually be thinking about this forever. 

- the revelation that albie had been a few miles away from helen at most the entire time she was still on earth but neither of them had known and got to see each other totally wrecked me ngl

- and also the fact that his arrest was so close in time to the events of helen’s first episode! before this i’d assumed it had happened when helen was still fairly young, but now thinking about how her grief for him would have been so new and raw during “the red lady”... god this is actually destroying me

- (given that “absent friends” probably takes place a maximum of about two weeks after “the red lady” as well, the implication there that helen basically loses her entire family in the space of a few months is heartbreaking)

- “what else did helen tell you?” “not much. i don’t know if she couldn’t or wouldn’t. but after that conversation...” “yes?” “that was pretty much it, she... shut down.” “that’s our helen.” “she means a lot to me, you know.” “to both of us.” this whole scene was a Lot in general, but the way that both liv and eight genuinely care about helen so much?? the way that they’re recognising and acknowledging the fact that she’s not okay and in a good place mentally and hasn’t been for a long time?? the bond this team have means so much to me istg

- this episode said the real villains are homophobia and capitalism and it was right

- i was not expecting the lesbian weeping angels at all but you know what? good for them. i hope they’re living their best lives now

- roy gill really just went and almost single-handedly gave helen one of her best arcs in the entire show and i respect him so much for that. i hope he comes back as a writer for this tardis team at some point because he just absolutely gets what they’re all about. 

- the tragedy of it all combined with the ray of light in that albie and bailey got to be happy together, and that helen got to see her brother one last time... it was such a bittersweet ending and i feel like it was absolutely perfect for the story and for this arc as a whole 

- song for helen broke me completely. i was sobbing at it in a dark room at 2.30 am and honestly i feel like that says everything. 

so yeah. overall really really loved these three episodes!!! genuinely looking forward to where they’re going to go next with these characters, i feel like there’s some real potential for amazing stuff down the line :)

[pirouettefrappelatte]

My experience seeing AOTV:

-It was really interesting to see behind the scenes of 1D’s last performance together

-Simon Cowbell was in the movie 2 times too many for me😑

-I loved hearing about the hiatus from Louis’ perspective and how he worked through everything in his mind to eventually get where he is now

-Definitely cried when he and his family talked about Jay’s passing. The way Louis described his relationship with his mum was just so precious. (The fact that he called her when he lost his virginity😂 I died)

-Louis’ grandparents being the absolute sweetest throughout. (Them showing Louis pictures of his mum when she was younger, ugh🥹)

-Loved hearing about things from Lottie, Daisy & Phoebe’s perspectives as well. It’s always nice to hear lovely things about Louis.

-All the home videos of the siblings as kids?😭

-I never knew how freaking great Oli is until now: “It was better than a one direction gig!” (I laughed at all of your jokes, Oli, even if the rest of the theatre didn’t)

-A little annoyed by the fact that they reused footage from the AFHF doc. Like we’ve already seen this, we know about COVID messing up the tour, can’t we see some new stuff??

-Lilo & Nouis backstage at the festivals so cute *chefs kiss*

-I needed more of Louis doing vocal rehearsals and more behind the scenes of him recording for the album. There was not enough. I just love hearing his voice without any editing and even when it’s not perfect. (That being said, his low voice?? Brooooooo🔥)

-I love you, Helene. Thank you for taking care of my baby.

-The “film strips” when talking about 1D where one would be Louis and then the next one would be Harry👀 (And yes, the Larry hug was cute but I’m not gonna make this about Larry haha)

-My personal opinion is that the scenes with Freddie were obviously contrived. Them going to the beach and Louis talking about him seemed extremely thought out/scripted. And the way Louis talked to the Freddie sounded like how he would talk to just any kid not his son. Also, Freddie at the LA show again was contrived. It was all too “perfect”: him singing along, holding up the sign and Louis yelling up to him, he being backstage when the show ended. Louis kept saying “you made me tear up” and Freddie didn’t seem to care, didn’t look at him when he was talking once. Louis hugged him and had to put Freddie’s hands on his shoulders. It was like the kid didn’t wanna touch him. The “give me a kiss” bits too. It was all too cringe and awkward for me and I’m sorry, but I’m not buying it. I understand that’s the story that Louis wants portrayed to the fans and no one has to agree with me, but that’s just my opinion on it. (Trust me, those were the only two bits of the movie that I didn’t enjoy and didn’t feel like Louis was speaking the truth. Otherwise it was amazing)

-Seeing Louis’ relationship with his band behind the scenes was wonderful. I already knew their dynamic was great but I loved hearing it from the boys’ perspectives.

-All of the fans at the tour shows, the dedication, Louis being nervous and then finally realizing that he deserves it all in the end…I definitely cried😭🥰

-I was saddened by the non-reactions from the rest of the theatre. Hardly anyone laughed at the fun bits, nobody sang along except my friend and myself when clips of Louis singing at concerts would come on, no one “awwwed” at the cute bits, no one clapped at the end, and everyone (save me, my friend and another pair) left before the credits ended. Despite all of that though, I had a wonderful time with my best friend. I’m so glad that I was able to support Louis in that way considering that I can’t go to any of his tour. I love him so much and he deserves all the success in the world❤️

[retconnc]

Attention all superhero and horror fans!

We are excited to announce that Samantha Bryant will be a guest at Ret-Con 2023! Check out our Guest Q&A below to learn more about her novels, her biggest inspirations, and her recommendation on what to check out at Carolina Theater's Retro Film series this year. - - - - - ____________________ If someone was interested in your work, what would you recommend they check out first? - Since my novels are a series, readers should definitely begin with Going Through the Change, the first one. You can meet Flygirl, Fuerte, Flamethrower, and The Lizard Woman when they were Jessica, Linda, Helen, and Patricia, before the resident mad scientist Cindy Liu stepped in to “help” and changed their lives forever. If you want to try on the series at a lower commitment, The Good Will Tour novella stands alone well, too. ____________________ What is your most popular or best-reviewed work? - Besides the Menopausal Superhero series, I also write short form horror. One of my most universally praised stories is “His Destroyer” in Slay: Stories of the Vampire Noire from Mocha Memoirs Press. It takes place during the 10th plague of Egypt, my Passover vampire story. It chilled me to write, and many readers find it disquieting. If you’re a horror fan, you should definitely check it out and all the other fine work in this unusual collection. ____________________ What are you working on right now, and will it be out by Ret-Con (the last weekend of February 2023)? - I’m writing the fifth and final novel in the Menopausal Superhero series. It won’t be out by Ret-Con, unfortunately, but readers can get the other four and the collection of shorts from Falstaff Books. Once I finish that, I’m excited to get back to my Gothic romance. I love trying on new genres and styles. Keeps the writing fun! ____________________ Who or what are your influences or inspirations? - My earliest influences were the tales of the Brothers Grimm and the Old Testament, mostly as recounted for me by my grandmother and great grandmother, who didn’t believe in sanitizing the stories for little Samantha. Later, I discovered Shirley Jackson. At the same time, I was reading comic books stolen from my uncles or bought in the used comic bin in my small-town bookstore and watching all the 1970s hero shows (and older ones in re-runs), with my dad. So, I’ve always had a mixture of horror and hero running through my literary veins.

I’ve been fortunate to have some great writing mentors in my life, too. Writer-teachers who gave freely of their time and energy in my college years, workshops through organizations and my public library, and countless supporters and friends found through convention life and publishing connections. I’ve been very lucky. ____________________ What are you reading, watching, listening to, playing, or otherwise enjoying that you'd recommend to Ret-Con attendees or your own fans? - I’m finally watching Supernatural. I know, I’m late to the party, but what a party it still is! I’m also finishing up some of the new speculative fiction programs out there: Stranger Things, Sandman, She-Hulk. On the big screen, I’m a devotee of the Retro Film Series at the Carolina Theatre in Durham. They’re having a Kaiju Quest this season!

I’m also an enthusiast of board games. Some recent favorites: Azul, Ascension (all the Ascension!), Gloom, Riftforce, Ticket to Ride, Lanterns, Qwirkle, Horrified, Forbidden Island. When I married my husband, I really leveled up in the games department. You should see our game hoard!

In terms of music, I have a teenager, and I let them choose what we listen to a lot of the time. Thanks to the kiddo, I’ve been getting into Will Wood (Dr. Sunshine is Dead). His music is sort of punk-klezmer. I’ve also been enjoying Penelope Scott (Lotta True Crime), and The Stupendium (The Fine Print). I’ve been revisiting Dolly Parton here lately, too. She’s still amazing. We could all do well by asking ourselves What Would Dolly do?

As for reading, I help run the classics book club at my library, so I read one classic novel a month. Recent choices were David Copperfield, Anna Karenina, and Sense and Sensibility. Otherwise, I try to keep up with some new releases, both on the indie and the mainstream front. Recent great reads: The Weight of Ink by Rachel Kadish, The Beautiful Ones by Sylvia Moreno Garcia, Akata Woman by Nnedi Okorafor, The Princess and the Peonies by Lucy Blue, and The Half Life of Ruby Fielding by Lydia Kang. ____________________ Is there anything you'd like to share with our social media followers that isn't included above? - I’m a nature enthusiast. Follow me on instagram (@samanthabwriter) for pictures of flowers, mushrooms, and other small beauties seen on my daily walks. Find me at Ret-Con to talk about Universal monsters, baking, superheroes, old movies, board games, books, and writing.

[wolfreader]

july 2024 wrap-up - young adult fiction

this month i read six (6) young adult novels.

an ember in the ashes by sabaa tahir 📖 🌟🌟🌟🌟

i was a bit hesitant because extremely hyped young adult fiction rarely works out for me, especially young adult fantasy. however, the new paperback covers intrigued me, i heard good things from people that don't normally like ya fantasy, and it was included in a buy one get one 50% deal, so i went ahead.

it exceeded my expectations!! for ya fantasy, i found the world to be very well realized and the characters very compelling. i felt like i understood them, even when i didn't agree with them, which seems like a low bar but that's because my standards for ya fantasy are astronomically low.

i felt that i really connected with laia and elias in this first installment. laia is motivated by extreme survivor's guilt and elias is motivated by self-preservation, and i'm interested to see how that changes throughout the series. i'm unsure of how much i'm buying their romance quite yet, but i think there's room for something to grow. equally enough room for sabaa tahir to drop the ball. laia and elias have a lot in common but at the same time their views and their desires aren't exactly the same and i can see them coming into major conflict with each other. whether or not i'm on board with them together depends on how tahir handles that conflict.

while i did make many jokes about elias having to learn that his best friend is a liberal, i feel that i've learned enough about helene to be excited for her larger role in the sequels.

the ballad of never after by stephanie garber 📖 🌟🌟🌟

the "evil all along" trope is perhaps the laziest way to resolve a love triangle. like, oh, you can't think of an actual reason why the main character would choose this love interest over the other? you have to make one of them do a complete 180 degree in character to make the other seem like the better option?

seriously, this went from a low four star to a solid three in the literal last chapter. i'm still going to continue with the series eventually, though my disappointment with the ending of this installment did lower its place on my priority list.

other than that, however, i think this series is pretty great. it's certainly overhyped on booktok, as most things are, but i really like the style and the setting. if you enjoy the fairytale aesthetic and you aren't looking for anything too serious, you'll likely enjoy this series.

song of silver, flame like night by amelie wen zhao 📚 🌟🌟🌟

this was on my "24 books to read in 2024" list, and though i had lost interest since the beginning of the year i still want to complete that list, so i picked this up from the library rather than buying it for myself. and boy am i glad i did! quite possibly the most book of all time.

this is an aggressively okay book. it doesn't really stand out among young adult fantasy; this could be any of the many "ya fantasy about a young girl with forbidden magic living under an oppressive regime content to keep her head down, keep herself safe, and achieve her own goals until a personal tragedy (and a mysterious man) flings her into rebellion" that i've read and immediatley forgotten about.

however, that equally means it doesn't stand out in any negative way. the exposition, especially in the first third, is very clunkily conveyed. the worldbuilding is lackluster. the two main characters are very interesting in theory but in execution they're very bland. but those are pretty common issues for young adult fantasy; there wasn't anything glaringly bad about it. there wasn't anything that compelled me to dnf, other than boredom and desire to get onto reading something else, and the writing style was quick and easy enough to read that that wasn't a major problem anyway.

it's a shame, because at the beginning of the year i was very eager to read this, but i can't really recommend it. even i, normally very critical of young adult fantasy, can say with confidence that there are many, many better ya fantasy to spend your time reading.

a torch against the night by sabaa tahir 📖 🌟🌟🌟🌟

i was planning to jump right into city of brass, but because i really didn't enjoy song of silver, flame like night, i wanted to give myself more of a break before i get into a new, adult fantasy series.

very excited to be continuing this series! while i don't think a torch against the night is quite as good as an ember in the ashes, that's a very high bar to reach. there were a few moments that i found a bit odd, but nothing egregious, and those moments themselves were things that might make more sense to me as the series continues and more secrets are revealed.

there was one theory i had about a certain character's backstory that i was genuinely shocked wasn't true, because it felt so obvious to me, but i guess i was wrong lmao!

the ivory key by akshaya raman 📚 🌟🌟🌟

almost a four star! this one has been on my radar for a while but the secondhand listing i was eyeing got snatched up, so i picked it up from the library.

i liked the sibling dynamic a lot more than i was expecting to. i don't know if akshaya raman has siblings, but as someone with a lot of siblings the way the main four characters were written felt very authetic. they felt like a very messy family rather than just normal close friends, which is how a lot of siblings in fiction (especially ya fiction) end up reading to me.

definitely intrigued. it's not a high priority but i think i am going continue with the series eventually, especially since it's a duology and there's only one other book.

a reaper at the gates by sabaa tahir 📖 🌟🌟🌟🌟

once again i'm excited to be continuing the series!

i will say that this book, especially the second half, felt a lot more like set-up for the final book than it's own story. but it wasn't severe enough set-up that i felt bored or cheated or anything like that, it was just a bit frustrating because i knew i wasn't going to get full resolution for any of these plotlines until the fourth and final book, which i don't own yet.

i am very excited to see how the story concluces. i don't want to give too much away because i do think this series is very good and if you like young adult fantasy but you haven't read it you should, but there are certain circumstances that a certain character has found themself in and i'm VERY curious as to how they're going to get out of it in the third book because it seems kind of inescapable to me...

[dkehoe]

Helen Zhang and Grant Shepherd haven’t seen each other since high school. Connected by a tragic accident, each of them has gone on to a career in writing. Helen has written a bestselling young adult series and Grant has moved to LA and flourished as a screenwriter. When Helen’s series gets picked up to be turned into a TV show she is surprised to find Grant on the writing team. Helen is used to pushing down her emotions to move past difficulties in life and thinks she can do the same with working with Grant but the more she gets to know him the more her emotions rise to the surface. Enemies to lovers romances are my favorite trope so I was ready to absolutely love the journey this author was going to take me on. I loved the setting and thought their being teamed up to re-write her novel for television was an interesting event that could create conflict and drama. There was definitely conflict since both of them felt very deeply about what happened in the past and had a hard time moving on from it. I think it was the approach Helen took that I got stuck on. Helen pushed down her emotions and in her family dynamic was to not cause any undue stress on her parents. A totally real construct and in fact, I could see myself maybe doing something similar but it did make Helen a little cold. It wasn’t until the last third of the book that I felt like she became a warm blooded character and I enjoyed their story a little bit more. Grant’s way of dealing with the past was to put on a charming front, making him great at his job coordinating writers, as well as a likable character. He seemed warm from the start. This is just a really small think but I think it affected my feelings for the characters and inhibited my rooting for them earlier than I did. Despite Helen’s cool characteristics, the story was really interesting, Grant was engaging and the other cast of characters were also very enjoyable to read. I totally understand why this is on the bestseller list, I personally just had that one thing that held me back from enjoying the first half of the story as much as I guess everyone else did. ❤️❤️❤️❣️ Click this link to purchase this book!* How to End a Love Story Copyright 2024 The Reading Chick All Rights Reserved *Amazon Associate- if you purchase this book through the above link I’ll receive a small stipend.