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nyxravessnow · 4 years

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Rambly Patalliro stage review

Stage Patalliro 2021 Foggy London Airport Arc Review

Today I finally managed to see the delays of the first and last day of the new 2021 Patalliro stage.

Overall, I will rate this show as a 9 out of 10.

I don't know if I'm giddy just because I watched the show today and have been really looking forward to it, and especially since I didn't enjoy the last 2.5D show I was looking forward to I might be projecting a bit onto this show. But I did enjoy every second of this show and can’t wait to buy the dvd.

While there were things, I was very nervous about for this show, I was also very excited as a lot of actors I really love are in the show.

I just wanna say anything I say about negative fan reaction is of course not most fans. Most fans stayed quiet and just did what they wanted, I’m just talking about a few fans whose comments I have seen floating about.

I was very nervous about the hostility to the new cast which I felt was unwarranted. Obviously, this wasn’t from most fans but was just from a very small amount of them. Hostility to the company and how they handled the graduation of the previous cost and the handling of the bringing in of the new cast is completely justified. However, this new cast is full of people who truly love the show and were very excited to be in it and no one had seen them on stage as those characters and so I feel like hostility towards them was undue.

The main reason this made me nervous was that I was worried if the show was bad the director and the company would not be the ones blamed but the actors who merely were doing their best in roles they were cast in.

I am so glad to say that I believe the show was fantastic. I believe that they lived up to the legacy of the previous cast and have started a good new tradition for their next shows and any cast that follows them.

One thing that really shocked me but also spoke to me about how this show most likely wouldn’t have happened without a new cast, was Kato Ryo Crying out of happiness on the final day of the show. Kato Ryo is known for never breaking character and not breaking down on stage which shows how much this show means to him. He was truly happy to be on the stage performing as Patalliro again, and it did seem as if he had also bonded to this new cast as Dai instantly went to give him a hug which he returned. He spoke about how it was amazing they could make it to the final performance as he didn’t think they’d even make it to a first one. I believe it is not too far-fetched to say that he might be referring to the fact that Nelke and the 2.5d association mostly likely said that they would not continue the show with Tsune onboard. As before Kato Ryo said he would only continue the show if the cast didn’t change and that seemed like a serious change.

I have seen comments that Maaya-sensei didn’t like the new cast and that he was completely unaware of the change in casting which I would be very surprised by. 2.5d shows have to sign off for new shows with the creator of the original and also you could see that Maaya-sensei’s family had bonded the new cast greatly. Giving the show a standing ovation and kept waving to the cast on the final night.

I know the re cast is a very difficult topic for people who likes the old cast and don't want to see a new cost, for people who liked the old cast and are willing to see the new cast, for people who didn't see much of the old cast but excited for the new cast or for people who like the new actors coming in and so getting into Patalliro for the first time.

I believe that as long as you are not attacking anyone your thoughts and feelings are completely valid and if you only liked the show for the previous cast then you have every right to just ignore the new shows and just watch the three amazing instalments from the old cast. You are valid and I hope you have a lovely day/week and hope that this awful situation (covid and the such) isn’t being too bad to you.

In my opinion if this show was the result of the recast, and that if it hadn't happened we wouldn't have gotten another show, then I'm very glad it happened because I think this show was excellent and another fantastic instalment under the name of Patalliro stage. Under the cut I will include a spoilered review of the stage but before then I just wanted to say some of my basic thoughts for anyone who doesn't want to be spoiled for what is in the show.

Acting: All the acting was fantastic. There wasn't a single actor who I wasn't entranced by and I was enthralled and engaged the entire show. I think every actor performed their roles perfectly and to the best of their abilities.

Singing: Obviously the big stand out for singing in this show was the transgender actress Nakamura Ataru as she was hired for her singing voice, her being a professional singer. However, I think everybody performed extremely well. I continue to be a little frustrated with the use of recorded singing for everybody except for Ataru, as I believe the music they have on it is too loud and it makes it harder to hear a lot of the singers and I also feel it's not necessary to record the songs as all of them are professional actors who can definitely sing on stage. That being said, I fell in love with every single song in the show and thought they were all amazing.

Directing: I think a lot of very very wise decisions were made about this show. I was worried this show would either reflect too much on the previous cast or just not mention them at all and pretend it didn't happen. Luckily the stage did neither. I will get into more specifics and my spoiler review, but I think they handled it very well with having stuff for new fans, old fans and fans who would be irritated by seeing knew actors continue on jokes that previous actors started. In regards to other sides of the directing, I believe it was same as always, very good for the type of show it is. The comedy was very good but due to only having seen two shows I can't say how much was the directing and how much were the actors just being funny, because this is a very funny cast.

Casting: I believe every actor in this stage was perfect for their roles. This may be a controversial opinion but after seeing Dai and Yuuya act opposite each other I am very glad that Sana wasn’t brought back. They couldn't continue to have Tsune in the show as 2.5D does not have the kind of reputation yet where they can have an actor who has committed crimes in their shows and back him for if he ever did something again then it could do a lot of damage to the industry. Nelke and the 2.5d association are companies and in order to keep putting on shows and paying actors and all the staff they need money. And to have money, they need a clean reputation, at least while it’s still relatively low in popularity. I do not wish Tsune ill at all, I think he is an excellent actor, and I really hope that he does continue acting but I completely understand why he was not cast in this show again and why that led to a recast of most of the cast. I think that Sana was excellent as Maraich in every way he embodied the character. But having been in quite a few previous shows together Yuuya and Dai already had excellent chemistry, and I think it would have been quite odd to see Sana as Maraich acting opposite a different Bancoran. I can't imagine any actor having better chemistry with Dai’s Maraich than Yuuya’s Bancoran and visa versa. And I really hope that with the end of lockdown and quarantine, and everything calming down a lot in terms of physical contact on stages they will be able to show the bond between their Maraich and Bancoran even more. (They didn’t actually kiss, converse to what I’ve seen some people reporting about how Nelke wanted to pretend everything was fine by making them kiss.)

Well enough on them, the Tamanegi. I think all of them were completely perfect for their roles and they all handled it with enough seriousness to make the comedy different enough from the past cast and therefore make it their own but also for it to actually be funny. I cannot wait to see this group in more shows together and see how much funnier they can become. My only slight complaint, and it is very slight, is that one of the Tamanegi is 19 years old, therefore underage, and it made me slightly uncomfortable when he took his shirt off. as I am now an adult watching the show. Having not been an adult when I watched the previous two, I do rather approach it with different eyes and that was something that I wasn't very comfortable with but I do understand that everybody isn't me and it would have been a bit strange if only one of them didn't take their top off.

Other cast members included Damian, the Maaya man and Ataru the ‘singing princess’. Again, all three of them were amazing, I was especially impressed with Shouta as Damien as I believe he carriage the emotion that came with that role excellently. Knowing what kind of personality Shouta has off stage, it still makes it slightly weird for me to see him playing less-good characters but I cannot fault his acting. I will cover the other two cast members in my spoiler review.

Anything else: I think the staging was excellent, prop work was very good and they obviously worked very hard on this show.

That will do it for my spoiler free review underneath I will get into a lot more detail on things that I liked, disliked or just wanted to comment on.

If you're stopping reading here thank you very much for reading and I really recommend if you weren't sure about this cast and weren’t sure how much they'd put into these roles and how much they would love them I can assure you that these roles have been trusted to people who really love this show and are working very hard. If you are considering getting the DVD but aren’t sure, I really recommend that you do get it if you like Patalliro and don’t just want to see only the old cast.

If you have any more specific questions about the show, I will be happy to answer them so just drop me an ask.

Spoilers under cut (Warning, it is very long)

God, where to even begin. This show was so good. They combined old stage Patalliro, with new directing, a new cast, and a really interesting arc. I'm going to separate my review into story, acting, singing/songs and directing, as well as mentioning some extra stuff that I might think of at the end.

I will illustrate bits I’m saying with pics but pics cannot do this show justice. And I’ve bolded where I begin each section so it’s more easy to find.

So first, the story. As someone who doesn't know the exact intricacies of this arc, I do know roughly what happens I just couldn't remember all the specifics, I think the show was set out in a very non confusing way compared to other Patalliro content. They did make the story a lot more linear and wasn’t showing stuff that happened at the same time as other things too much which can sometimes hurt my brain. Even with all the flashbacks and flashforwards I felt it was really easy to keep track of what was happening when. The story had a very clear and defined beginning, middle and end, and I just thought it was very well done.

Acting, with occasional dips into directing and story when appropriate. As I said before the acting was amazing. I had chills, the entire scene with Damien, Maraich and Bancoran. I think they balanced the comedy and tension very well and didn’t try to undercut all the serious scenes with comedy which is my main complaint with a lot of gag manga/anime/stages. Except during Maraich’s more emotional song where one of the Tamanegi was still wearing bdsm gear which I thought was a bit hmmm. I’m not rly gonna cover Kato Ryo bc he just is Patalliro at this point.

Maraich and Bancoran, despite having very few scenes actually talking to each other, had undeniable chemistry. Dai and Yuuya, sold me on them being a couple immediately with the way they looked at each other and how they held each other. Their final scene before the end together where Maraich lay in a hospital bed and Bancoran was clutching his hand gave me so many emotions (First night he held his hand and final night he kissed him). I was 100% sold on how much they cared about each other, even if they might fight a lot in the end no one will ever love the other more than they do, and I think that that is what makes this couple so special. They have a true unconditional love for each other and they would, quite literally in Maraich’s case, throw themselves on a bomb for the other one.

Bancoran. I think Yuuya played Bancoran so well. You could see the character maturing before your eyes as we moved from 15 years previously to 12 years previously, to 10 and onwards until the normal time. And you could see the vulnerability he had with Damien and how that was still there but how he truly loved Maraich and that the vulnerability he has with Maraich is different. While Damien didn’t tend to let his guard down around Bancoran, his relationship with Maraich is a lot more give and take and I think he played all of that expertly. I know how much Bancoran cares about Maraich is a lot more vague in the original but I think that was partly as a product of its time and they somewhat had to make some humour out of these two men being in a relationship without flat out making fun of that aspect. So, I am very happy that the stage lets these character’s be in love and despite everything, truly show that they care about each other. Also, he did make me cry a few times when he saw Damien broken, Maraich with Damien as his heart broke seeing that happen to the man he loved but also breaking for the trust he put in a man he had once loved as well in the final scenes where he has clearly decided to kill Damien but is still holding onto a feint hope that maybe, he is not completely lost.

Mariach. Wow, just wow. He was not super present in the beginning, but he was the standout in the show in my opinion. His Maraich was so so different to Sana-chan’s Maraich and yet he was absolutely true to Maraich. He approached Mariach from a very different angle and I am so glad we are lucky enough to get both of them playing Maraich. He seems a lot more mature, like he has definitely been with Bancoran longer. He gives him more trust and isn’t as quick to be jealous as well as very quickly understanding Damien and how important he is to Bancoran, asking Patalliro not to tell him anything until they were sure which is different to how he acted about Bjorn/Andersen in the last show, they are different situations but I do think it represents character growth. He was a lot more aggressive in his fighting and anger though, as shown by his heavy metal solo as opposed to the softer ones of Sana’s. Despite all that he still was clearly in love with Bancoran and still showed his cute side. As well as expressing more deeply about his love for Bancoran with one of the Tamanegi but more on that in the Tamanegi’s bit. The scene with Damien was done so well by everyone involved. They clearly condemned Damien’s actions, showed how disgusting what he did was and created incredible pathos for Maraich while also showing Maraich somewhat unaware of what had happened and during the sex scene with Maraich and Damien, Dai showed Maraich’s desperation to hold on Bancoran and love Bancoran, so well, and it broke my heart.

Damien. I don’t remember too much of Damien from the original but Shouta played him excellently. He showed the progression of this man who loved Bancoran to a man who was willing to throw him away and murder him so well and it was believable despite not seeing almost anything except his interactions with Bancoran or Bancoran/Maraich’s feelings about him. When he held Bancoran at the end, asking why he was fighting so much and why he wanted Damien to kill him, despite Damien obviously being the villain you couldn’t help but feel sympathy for this man despite everything he’d done. (Also I think there is meant to be a parallel between him holding Maraich and him holding Bancoran)

The Maaya man. I thought the actor himself was very good, but I am a bit confused about why he was in the stage. All the Tamanegi played multiple roles, changing costume, and there is only one of him, so I am not too sure what the benefit from having a single Maaya man was but it’s a very small complaint and mainly about logistics rather than show quality. Especially as it certainly didn’t take away anything from the show having him there.

Nakamura Ataru – The singing Princess. Oh. My. Lord. Her voice was phenomenal, and she was gorgeous in every single outfit she was in, reaffirming to me that I am very pan (Not just attracted to the men in the play but also this gorgeous woman. I am not saying I am pan because she is trans). What was a surprise to me is that she was genuinely really funny. In the scenes where she was meant to be funny, I laughed a lot and she definitely has expert comedic timing.

The Tamanegi. I am going to separate a few of them who were reasonably important and group the rest in together.

So, the ones who did not play major roles in the show were: Emoto Koki, Ookubo Tatsuki, Sagawa Daiki and Hoshi Gouki. They were all very good, played their parts well and I don’t think they could have done better. It was very interesting to see Koki in a bdsm outfit but besides that there wasn’t anything super memorable about these actors’ parts.

Harashina Motohisa. Motohisa played the Black Tamanegi and served as somewhat of a leader for the Tamanegi in their scenes. Given that he was the only 2nd season Tenimyu actor in the cast and was the first name in the list of Tamanegi this was pretty much the role I expected him to play. He was very good, and his high voice was super adorable to hear after not hearing it much from his roles.

Okuda Yumeto. It was very surprising for me to see that Yumeto was the Tamanegi who travelled back into the past with Patalliro to see Bancoran’s past. Not only is he the youngest of the Tamanegi but he was also last on the list of Tamanegi names, I might be putting too much onto that list, but I did think it was gonna be kinda going from highest ranked to lowest and from most importance in the show to lowest. I was kinda right and wrong about that as the four most important were the two first names and two of the three last names. He did get to sing a little in the Bancoran and Damien jazz sex song, more on that later, and I thought what he did was good.

Nakata Ryouta. (Yes I am saving Tsukasa for last bc I love him). Out of the four he had the smallest role but still had a solo bit in their trio song (trio is the name for a song where 3 people harmonise and have solo bits if you didn’t know, bc lol I didn’t) and was somewhat important to Maraich. I thought he was very good despite it being his first stage show and he had a lovely voice. He and Tsukasa made such a cute couple.

Taguchi Tsukasa. Warning, he is my favourite actor, and I am extremely biased. He was the best actor in the show, no question.

Joking, he didn’t have too much to do so obviously he didn’t shine more than Dai-chan, Yuuya or Shouta for example. He had two scenes with Maraich and while he didn’t do much in the stage overall it was clear how much of an impact his character, Tamanegi no.35, made on Maraich. He confessed to Maraich his love for his fellow Tamanegi, no.19, and spoke of their love and how special they were to each other which was never ridiculed or made fun of but was an exceedingly human moment and as a lgbt person it really touched me. He saw the love Maraich had for Bancoran and he and 19 did everything they could to help him. Without them, Bancoran and maybe Maraich as well, would most likely be dead as they picked Maraich up and brought him to Bancoran as well as getting Plasma X’s armour to protect him. Maraich, so far in the stages, hasn’t really had a friend. He always has just had Patalliro, shown by Patalliro being called in the 2nd stage to help them with their argument despite Maraich not liking Patalliro that much and this Tamanegi offered help to Maraich without judgement, just empathy, and I thought that was really special. I know, due to the nature of this being based on a gag manga and knowing Patalliro, that in the next stage they will likely not get another scene together but I can hope as their second scene with 19, 35 and Maraich might be my favourite scene in all of Patalliro content.

I know Tsukasa is a massive Patalliro fan, in a live he said he went to the previous show between 4-6 times and I have rarely seen him smile as much as he did in the finale of this show. It obviously meant so much to him to be in a show he loved and I’m incredibly happy for him.

Singing/songs.

There were 9/11 songs in this show. (9 if you don’t count Cock robin and Foggy London Airport which Ataru only sang a little of on stage but is an album exclusive)

These were:

1. Wow Patalliro

2. I can’t see your

3. Maybe we could meet again? – Mata Aeru Kashira

4. Foggy London Airport

5. Sexy dudes!

6. To leak out – Moreru

7. Kiss me Bancoran

8. Cock Robin

9. Don’t overlook me – Misugosenai

10. My special person - Tokubetsu na hito

11. Forever Patalliro ~ Grand Finale

1. Wow Patalliro

This opening song was such a bop and I don’t think I will ever get it out of my head. It was very different to the previous first songs, much higher tempo and energy which I think was interesting as this show felt slower than the previous two shows which I thought was interesting. Shouta, Damien’s actor, was having so much fun dancing around in the bg and it was adorable.

2. I can’t see your

God Ataru’s voice. Her voice was gorgeous in this song. This was my favourite of the 3/4 songs she sang and this is from a person who doesn’t usually like ballads. The contrast between the fast pace of the first song and the slow pace of the 2nd song was so well done. And it was such a good song to have the cast list play during as kinda a more formal opening as the first scene doesn’t do much except to show that Bancoran is acting strange and so isn’t super related to the rest of the stage.

3. Maybe we could meet again? – Mata Aeru Kashira

I love the club singer vibe of this song and Maraich was so cute with Ban clapping along in the back. It was a nice soft scene before all the angst and trauma in the rest of the scene and it was really nice to see them on a date together.

4. Foggy London Airport

Don’t have many thoughts as I didn’t really hear much of this song, about 2 lines, but I’m sure it’s amazing if Ataru is singing it.

5. Sexy dudes!

I love all the Tamanegi songs so much and I rly liked how different this one sounded, much like all the songs in this show, I like how the Tamanegi are built up in this song to seem so good then they having the dumbest dance ever, it was amazing and the final day with all of them stripping killed me. Of laughter bc of Daiki wearing a shirt that made it seem like he had abs and of other things bc of Tsukasa stripping. (I think Daiki might not have been comfortable showing his fully chest so I’m glad they allowed him to just wear a pretend ab shirt)

6. To leak out – Moreru

I never imagined a sex scene in Patalliro would be shown by a woman dressed like a bush singing a jazz song as screens showed the characters sex faces as they were on a spinning bed or doing poses but here we are. The song itself was very good and I think it worked weirdly well representing what happened.

7. Kiss me Bancoran

God all the songs in this stage were just so good. Another absolute banger. Yuuya’s voice as Bancoran is divine and the choreography and everything work so well for this song. I also think he looks super pretty in his past Ban outfit and love that the song was done in that.

8. Cock Robin

Pretty much as normal. Maraich’s little leg lift is so cute

9. Don’t overlook me – Misugosenai

This was not what I expected from a Maraich solo in any way shape or form. But it works so well?? Maraich screaming into the mic as Bancoran plays the guitar and the Tamanegi do back up dance is just phenomenal, Dai’s voice works for the song so well and him pretending to be Damien and Bancoran and impersonating their voices as they had sex was hilarious, omg. This song was the song we didn’t want but we needed so much. By far and away my fav song in the show. I have listened to it so many times already and I am never gonna get bored of it.

10. My special person - Tokubetsu na hito

A trio song between Maraich, 19 and 35 about what you do when with the person you love the most and what you would do for the one you love the most, with the other Tamanegi as back up singers. Despite looking a bit silly with Koki in his bdsm gear in the bg, the emotion was there, and the three actors are such good singers. /not at all biased. Honestly, I died when I heard Tsukasa start to sing. I didn’t expect him to get a solo bit in this show and I was so happy that he did.

11. Forever Patalliro ~ Grand Finale

I rly like the new ending song. It’s upbeat and fast like the first song and has a different feel to the previous cast. I’m kinda glad that the final bit with the circle head things that look like the headframes from the manga was the only song they kept. They’re showing that they are moving on from the previous cast without erasing what they did.

Overall, I think this show has my favourite soundtrack. In the past two shows and the film there were a couple songs I didn’t love but in this one I loved all the songs!

Directing

Like I said before I think there were a lot of good calls in the direction. They had I think two or three references to Stardust, I think this was to partly reassure fans that they weren’t completely resetting the world and that this was a continuation and from what I remember maybe four or five recurring things.

1. Patalliro at the start being asked who he is, this definitely makes sense tho and I’m super glad they didn’t change it

2. Maraich’s legs shaking when Ban looked at him with his beam. I kinda liked though how they even changed the beam for Yuuya. Tsune’s was a contant beam whereas Yuuya’s beam is more short bursts. (in terms out sound and the projection of the beam light)

3. Patalliro recreating the most tragic scene from the play again at the end. I was a little unsure about them keeping this at first as it felt like a joke of the old cast but it was mainly something Kato Ryo did and he is still here to continue his joke so it makes sense to keep it. Also, in the finale he gave Damien. Maraich and Bancoran characters from tv to impersonate while doing their lines which made the scene very funny.

4. The final bit after the finale song with the head frames but I think it would be weird to remove this song in retrospect bc it is the song that mainly relates back to the manga. Also, they did change what the head boarders look like.

5. And obviously the two mangaka that are referenced in all the stages are still there bc that is something that came from the original. (Micchan sensei and the shojo mangaka one)

Except for that stuff, from what I can remember, mostly everything was new jokes which I rly liked. That they’re making new stuff for the new cast.

That’s it!

I still have so many other thoughts but the best thing I can say at this point is pls watch the stage! It is just as faithful as it was with the original cast and the quality has not dipped at all.

Thank you for reading my rly rambly thoughts and I’m sorry it trailed off at the end, it is quite late now.

I hope it inspired you to look into getting a DVD or CD or supporting the stage in some other way.

Have a good day/week/month/year/life!

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happylady215 · 3 years

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Have I fallen in love with him...?

Mitsuhide x Reader

------------------

(English is not my first language. So, I'm sorry if there's any bad grammars 😅😅)

✧༺♥༻✧✧༺♥༻✧✧༺♥༻✧

(Reader POV)

Spring has come. Many beautiful flowers were blooming. Spring is the most beautiful season. Besides enjoying the beauty of flowers, spring is the season where you meet the people you miss or your true love.

…. At least, that’s what I heard from people around here. I was in the middle of preparing to open my teahouse. I have a teahouse located in Azuchi. My shop is not always crowded, but, many people like the food here. This teahouse is the last legacy of my parents. My parents… they died 3 years ago, and it makes me a little lonely everytime I remember them.

While waiting for customers to come, I drink a cup of hot tea. “I’m bored…” The spring wind blew and hit my face. It feels really nice. I closed my eyes, remembering something. “Speaking of spring, it always make me to remember that person…” Yes, spring is the first time where I met that person, my only childhood friend that I missed a lot. “I really want to see him again…”

(Around 10 years ago)

I was playing in a meadow full of flowers. At that time, I found a very large cherry blossoms tree. “It’s so big..!” I thought, while staring at it in amazement. My feet move automatically into that direction. “I wonder how old the tree is?” “I don’t know, maybe almost a hundred years old?” I hear someone answered my question. I was startled and immediately turned my body.

There was a boy who seemed 2-3 years older than me. His eyes were golden, he has silver hair and long lashes. Where did he come from? I’ve never seen him at all. Ah, he actually handsome too, but, why does his smile looks sly like… a fox?

“So you see me as a fox, huh?” he grin.

Wha-?! How did he know what I was thinking about?!

“Are you surprised because I know what were you thinking?”

AGAIN?????

“H-hey, how did you know what I was thinking?” I asked him.

“Because I’m ‘Satori’, a mhytical creature who can reads people minds. But don’t worry, I won’t eat you.”

Is he being serious? Or just joking? I can’t tell. He just keep smiling.

“Don’t lie to me, there’s no way you’re a monster or anything.”

“Oho? I thought you will get scared with this kind of thing, little mouse.”

“As if! I won’t get scared by that! And, ‘little mouse'?? Did you see me as a little mouse?”

“Didn’t you see me as a ‘fox’ too, earlier?”

Damn, he’s right. I tried to search another topic to change the subject.

“Hey, where are you from? I’ve never seen you. And, are you a noble? Your clothes looks expensive.”

That boy paused for a moment.

“I’m just a merchant son. And yes, I’m not from here, I came here to visit my distant relatives. But sorry, I can’t tell you where I come from.”

“Oh, I see”

“Then, what’s you’re name?”

“Hmmm? Why do you want to know my name, little mouse?”

“You don’t want to be called ‘fox’ forever by me,right? And I don’t want to be called ‘little mouse’ by you either.”

“Shouldn’t you introduce yourself first before asking other people names?”

Ughhh..! how long will he tease me like this?! How annoying!

“My name is (y/n)… (full name). "

“My name is Mitsu, nice too meet you little mouse.”

“Hey, didn’t I tell you that I don’t want to be called ‘little mouse’? And introduce yourself properly, will you? At least, tell me your full name.”

“Hoh~? Since when I will call you by your name? And since when I will introduce myself properly?”

“OH, WHY YOU-“

Since that day, Mitsu and I always meet each other and play together. We always meet under that cherry blossoms tree. We became close friend very quickly. He always tease me until make me angry, but he actually has gentle side too. He always cheer me up every time I feel sad, he always protect me whenever someone bully me. But, one day he must return. That day, he came to me to say goodbye. I’m sad. Of course. He’s my bestfriend, how could I not sad?

“Mitsu… will you come here again…?”

“I don’t know.”

“Can we meet each other again…?” my body is a little bit trembling, trying to hold back my tears.

Mitsu noticed that, and then, he hugged me. And slowly, he gently stroked my head.

“Little mouse, I promise that someday we will meet each other again. No matter how long it is, we will meet. I will find you.”

“You’re not lying, right?” I hug Mitsu tightly.

“This time, I’m not lying.”

I can’t hold back my tears anymore. I’m crying while hugging Mitsu. Mitsu kept silent and still stroking my head. He’s gentle touch make me comfortable, it makes me feel calmer.

“Good bye, (y/n)…”

And that’s the first and last time he called my name.

(Back to present)

“Iss..? Miss..? Excuse me? Hello?”

“Huh? Ah!”

“Oh my god, are you tired? You shouldn’t have to open your teahouse if you’re exhausted, dear.” Apperantly there’s a customer who wake me from my nap.

“Oh, no. I’m perfectly fine. Do you order as usual?”

“Yup, as usual, please. I’ll sit on the bench outside, okay?”

“Okay, please wait.”

I can’t believe I fell asleep, and my customer is the one who wake me up. Gosh, this is embarrassing. Why did I dream about that again? Even though I try to forget it. ‘We will meet each other again’ he said. Hah, how funny. It’s been years and we haven’t meet again.

…….

Oh, come on! Why am I keep missing him? This longing makes me uneasy.. Can we really meet again? I’ve been waiting too long. Was it just a lie that time?

“Thank you for your visit, please come back anytime.” I bowed my head to the customer who just walked out of my teahouse.

“Excuse me.” Ah, I guess there’s another customer.

“Yes? May I help you-“ I gasped. My eyes widened staring at the person in front of me in disbelief. Otherwise, that person also looked at me with a look of disbelief.

“M-Mitsu…?”

“Little mouse…? Why... Are you here...?”

Yes, there’s no mistaking it. This person is Mitsu, my childhood friend that I missed a lot since that day. I didn’t answer his question. Instead, I immediately run to him and hug him tightly and can’t hold back my tears once again. Finally… finally, we meet again..! I’m so happy.

“Little mouse, we should go inside first.”

I think my eyes a little bit swollen, it hurts a little. Fortunately, today only a few customers came here. I’m glad they didn’t have to my ugly appearance, now. “Little mouse, how did you ended up here? Aren’t you not from Azuchi? I tought you live in another village a little bit far from Azuchi?” Mitsu ask me while comforting me. His voice sound very gentle. “This teahouse is mine, Mitsu. Our family decide to move to Azuchi, not long after you return to your home. I think it’s 3 months after that.” “Oh, I see… so that’s why I can’t find you..” he mumble. “Did you said something, Mitsu?” “Ah, no. it’s nothing.”

And after that, he explained everything. That time he can't tell his real name because he actually on a secret mission with his father. His real name is Mitsuhide, Akechi Mitsuhide. Oda Nobunaga’s left-hand man that called as ‘Silver Kitsune’, many bad rumours surrounded him. I can’t believe that the ‘Silver Kitsune’ is my childhood friend!?

“How about your family? Are they healthy as usual?”

“Ah, about them… they died 3 years ago because of illness.”

“…. I’m so sorry to hear that.”

“It’s okay. By the way, why did you keep calling me ‘little mouse’? Did you forget that I don’t like being called that??”

“Hooh… You hate it? I thought it’s cute, though.” Finally he smile again.

“Geez, it’s not cute!”

“I’ll call you whatever I want and you can’t deny it.”

He’s teasing me again.

Since then, Mitsu always came to my teahouse when he wasn’t too busy. We chat and spend time just like when we were kids. Oh, how miss am I to feel this atmosphere.

“Mitsu- ah, no. I mean, Mitsuhide.” I still not used to call him by his real name.

“You can call me ‘Mistu’ like you always do. I don’t mind at all.”

“Oh, okay. Mitsu?”

“Yes?”

“Are you aware that you have been called ‘Silver Kitsune’? Did you know that there’s many bad rumours surrounded you?”

“Of course I’m aware, little mouse. Because I’m the one who spread those rumours.” He answerd it calmly. He seems very calm I must say.

“What..?! Why did you do that?”

“It’s just part of my job as Lord Nobunaga’s left-hand man, you don’t need to know the details.”

“… still… Don’t you ever feel angry or qualmish by those rumours?”

“What do you mean?”

“People said you have intimidating and cold gaze that makes people scared of you, no ones know what you think, people called you ‘Kitsune’ or ‘Snake’ and anything. Don’t you feel angry?”

Actually I’m the one who angry to hear such rumours.

“Oho? I didn’t know that my rumours became that much. How fascinating.” He chuckle.

“Hahh… nevermind, forget it.”

“But it seems, that you angry with those rumours, little mouse?” It seems he read my mind.

“Of course, I am.”

“Oh? Please do tell the reasons.” He seems interested to hear my reasons.

“Because they’re wrong. You maybe often to tease and trick me, but you never do anything harmful to me. You always protect me. You have gentle side too, you know? You actually care about other people, but you never let anyone see that side of you. I even like it when you’re beside me, Mitsu. I love your gentle touch when you stroke my head. It makes me feel safe and comfortable. But yeah, I’m always comfortable when we’re together.” Unconsciously, I smiled when telling the reasons.

Huh? Why is he even silent? And also lowered his head instead? “Mitsu, what’s wrong?” When I was about to touch him, he slightly back away from me while covering his face. “Hey, what’s wrong with you? Are you sick?” I feel a little bit panic because he didn’t answer me at all.

“Ha…. Haha…Hahahah….” He chuckled.

“Mitsu?”

“Oh, dear. You've never changed a bit since we’re a kid, huh? Always being a straight forward and speak what’s in your mind.”

He finally showed his face. And I’m a little bit surprised what I saw.

His cheeks were painted with blush to the tips of his ears. This is the first time I’ve seen him like this. The usual Mitsu I’ve known always looks calm and cool.

Ba-thump Ba-thump…!

Oh,god why my heart is pounding right now? I feel my cheeks become hot too.

“Little mouse.”

“Y-Yes!?” dammit, why am I become nervous suddenly??

“Why are you blushing too? Yo’re like an innocent teenager, you know?”

“Hah? Shut up, and stop smiling you-“

“But that’s why I like you since we were kids.” He take one of my hand, and lifted my chin with his other hand. “(y/n)?” this is the second time he call my name.

“Yes?” I felt my cheeks became more hot, because he brought his face closer to me.

“I like you since childhood. You are my first love, who I always miss since then. (y/n), I love you from the bottom of my heart. Will you be my life companion forever?”

“Are you teasing me right now?”

Without any warnings, he suddenly pull me closer and kiss me. He kissed me slowly and gently. It feels nice, I don’t hate it at all. Instead, I feel very happy. It feels like my heart could explode anytime.

After that he release me.

"Do you think I was teasing or lying to you, right now?” he smirk.

My heart is pounding harder right now. What is this feeling? What is this euphoria? I can’t think anything but him. Have i… Have I fallen in love with him….?”

#ikesen #ikemen sengoku #akechi mitsuhide #ikesen mitsuhide #fanfic #ikesen fan fiction

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darkficsyouneveraskedfor · 4 years

Text

Omertà👄2

Warnings: noncon sexual acts (sexual intercourse); tags to be added throughout series

This is dark!Bucky and dark! Loki and explicit. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: Your father was a bookie and taught you everything you know about numbers. After his death, you were taken on as a bookkeeper for Loki Laufeyson, resident crime boss in Manhattan. But can you keep your place in the background when a man from Brooklyn threatens to drag you to the forefront?

Note: We vibing these two bad boys so here’s chapter 2. Be safe.

Hope you enjoy it. Thank you. Love you guys!

As always, if you can, please leave some feedback, like and reblog <3

The dress was plain, but you were certai, nice enough for the occasion. You didn’t expect Loki’s approval, that was a rarity, but you were content in your malicious compliance. The long burgundy crepe was held up by thin straps and hugged your body enough not to be entirely baggish. You wore a thin black shawl over your shoulders as you hailed a cab and gave the closest intersection to the underground club.

You hadn’t been this dressed up since your regrettable prom night. Then you were still naive enough to dream about a Lizzie Maguire fairytale. You hadn’t even been arm candy that night, you had merely been a ploy to make some other girl jealous. You’d left early upon the realisation. ‘Fuck ‘em’, your dad had given his usual snipe and since your inner monologue tended to echo him.

A decade later, a little more than, and your cynicism had aged like a stringent and oaky whiskey. You hooked the strap of your small beaded clutch around your wrist as you got out of the cab and peered down the street. Streetlights illuminated the smoke blowing up from the sewer and distant neon light stared back at you from the end of the block.

You would appease Loki and whatever game he was playing. You knew his moods, his tricks. He grew bored often and quickly flitted to his next delight. You suspected he was merely reminding himself of his power after a near disastrous war. And you, too.

You descended the iron steps and knocked on the painted door. The tiny slat slid open and a muffled din wafted through. “Slate,” A voice cut through the night and you replied swiftly, “Pyramid”. A heavy lock turned and you were let into the dark corridor.

You’d been here once before. You were sixteen, your father had been with you. He’d played a game of Hold ‘Em with Diablo and won a few times too many. The two of you had barely escaped before the droopy-eyed owner caught on. That was long ago and yet, nothing had changed.

There was a thick velvet curtain at the end of the hallway. The doorman escorted you to it and pulled it back to reveal a bright room full of men in tailored suits and women draped off their arms like peacocks. You shook your head and stepped through. You needed a drink. You needed an excuse to turn back. But you went on.

Loki was slender but tall, a few inches above most men. You saw him amid the crowd, a snifter held to his nose as he inhaled the scent of the dark liquor. You passed a man in a crushed velvet jacket and his eyes caught yours. His arm was around a slinky redhead distracted by another boisterous guest. He winked and you scowled.

You wove through the bodies and appeared at Loki’s shoulder.

“Where do I get some of that?” You pointed to his glass and he looked down his long nose at you. If he was surprised, it was hard to tell. Only the slight part of his lips cracked his stony veneer.

“Darling, I’d stick to the wine,” He preened.

“Darling?” You scoffed. “You know my name.”

He smirked and turned to you entirely. He was overt as he looked you up and down and touched the fabric at your waist.

“I thought I said to wear something nice,” He muttered. “At least I can see your eyes.”

“You told me to wear a dress. Should I have gone with the black victorian number?” You challenged.

He considered you as his smirk fell.

“Kitty has found her claws,” He taunted. “Best she keeps her growls to herself.”

“I don’t understand why I’m here,” You said. “Tell me you couldn’t find a better date among your harem.”

“Harem? You make me sound a king,” He mused. “As you are so generous to yourself. This is not a date, darling.”

“Then what is it? Is it really necessary for you to wag your--”

“Watch it,” He warned as he pointed his long index finger at you. “You’re not playing at this anymore. You are made or you are burned. There is no in-between.”

“I tend to doubt your concern for my standing so long as my work benefits your own,” You said. “So forgive my suspicion.”

“Your father was on the scene, he made a name, as detestable as it is, and your grandfather has not been forgotten either,” He said. “We are both a part of this city’s legacy.”

“Mm,” You arched a brow. “I still don’t believe you.”

“Believe what you will.” He shrugged. “But best to start thinking for yourself before another does it for you.”

You squinted and looked around. A woman in a feather dress carried a tray of tall wine glasses. You preferred another taste but you would settle for the pale chardonnay. You beckoned her over and took one as Loki perused the room.

“Is this all you do at these things?” You sipped. “Coil like a snake in the corner?”

“I observe. I learn.” He grinned. “And the snake does not bow to the mice, rather they cower before him.”

“Poetic,” You said dryly.

“Well,” A deep voice came from your left and you looked to the man you vaguely recognized. His golden brocade was embroidered with dragons; a gaudy Oriental knock-off. Finely tailored but still ill-fit to his person. “Is that Georgey’s girl?”

You greeted him with your usual straight-lipped stare. You batted your lashes sharply and he chuckled.

“I remember you,” He carried on. “You’ve grown.”

“As have you,” You gestured to his stomach, poorly hidden beneath the gauche jacket.

He laughed even louder and turned to Loki.

“I did hear you had the bookie’s daughter,” He boomed. “I wouldn’t trust that ilk to keep my books but call me prudish.”

“Don’t you worry, I wouldn’t touch your books over my father’s dead body,” You snorted. “Even I couldn’t untangle that knot with a blade.”

“Oh, I see,” Diablo shook his head. “The mouth on her.”

“Yes, rather endearing, isn’t it?” He sneered.

“Not sure anyone else would agree,” Diablo said. “The prettier one’s are much quieter.”

“Yet--” You began.

Loki raised his hand to silence you. You clamped your ships and your nostrils flared in anger.

“Let us excuse ourselves,” Loki gestured Diablo away. “And discuss in private, yes?”

“Best while everyone else is distracted,” Diablo replied and peeked over at you. “I dread our next meeting.”

“As do I,” You assured him.

Loki looked at you from the corner of his eye as his lip curled. He directed Diablo away from you and you watched them go, a smirk slowly spread across your face. You never wanted to make your father proud but he would’ve been beaming.

You finished your drink and searched for a table to dispose of it. You set it down carefully on a tall corner table and slipped your shawl down around your elbow. You glanced around. You thought of fleeing as Loki was distracted but you knew he wouldn’t forget you. In fact, it seemed he had grown intent on you for whatever reason.

A shadow blotted the edge of your vision and you turned to greet your assailant. You were slightly surprised to find Bucky Barnes closing in. He smiled and tilted his head as he stopped before you. He wore a deep violet jacket over navy trousers, his eyes shone in the contrast.

“I wasn’t sure you got my invitation,” He said.

“Invitation?” You shook your head. “What--”

“Loki, he-- I mentioned I’d like to see you again,” He said staunchly.

“What?” You scrunched your brow.

“I like the colour,” He admired your dress. “But I think a different cut might suit you better.”

“Oh, I didn’t take you as a purveyor of fashion. Well, nothing beyond a g-string and stilettos.” You huffed.

“Ah, I run a pretty classy joint,” He winked. “My girls have nothing but the best, even if it isn’t much.”

You pushed your shoulders back and looked around once more.

“Well, I was not told my presence was at your whim,” You said. “In fact, my being here is entirely undesirable.”

“If I had my way, sweetheart, you’d be doing a lot more than just standing here in that pretty little number,” He snickered.

You looked at him sharply.

“I need a drink,” You stormed off in search of the girl in the feathered dress.

You sensed him following behind you but ignored him. As you made to swipe a glass from the tray, he reached around you and grabbed it first. He caught your hand before you could take another and drew you back to him as he placed the slender flute into your hand.

“I wasn’t done, sweetheart,” He closed your fingers around the glass.

You were livid. Had Loki brought you here to whore you out? Another pawn to secure his peace?

“Loki’s my boss but he is not my pimp,” You pulled away from him.

“I didn’t say that,” He said. “I didn’t think it, either.”

You flicked the glass at him so the chardonnay splashed across his front and dripped down his face.

“Not interested,” You snarled and swept away with the empty glass.

“Sweetheart,” He sang from behind you. “I wouldn’t do this.”

“Get away from me,” You rushed away from him towards the door. “If you see Loki, tell him I’ll see him at the shop. To be frank, I don’t care either way.”

“We can just talk,” He purred. “Come on. You haven’t even given me a chance.” He caught your elbow and turned you back. “No other girl has ever thrown her drink in my face because if she had, I’d break hers. Now, I have no intention of hurting you. You see, I will look past your little slip.”

“I came here for business, or so I was told,” You said. “I am not interested in talking to you about anything beyond that.”

“Is this about the boss, hmm? This has nothing to do with him or our relationship, if that’s what you think.”

“I think you are all the same. You all just like to poke and poke and poke at each other until guns come out.” You said. “And I’m not going to be a part of whatever you two are doing.”

“Your loyalty is admirable, especially around here,” He kept hold of you. “Loki doesn’t even know what he’s got.”

“Let go,” You ripped your arm away. “I am not interested in being a comare. Especially yours.”

His brows lifted and slowly he smiled. His blue eyes twinkled and he wiped away the last of the chardonnay with his sleeve as the rest soaked into the front of his jacket.

��Comare… noooo.” He coaxed. “No, you’re not that type.”

You rolled your eyes and turned away from him. His arm shot out and he planted his hand against the wall to block you. You sighed and crossed your arms.

“Look, I know you, you’re just like the rest of them. You don’t like being told no. Little baby.” You snarled. “But I don’t like to repeat myself. So--”

“There you are,” Loki called from behind you. Bucky pushed himself straight as you looked over your shoulder. “Barnes…” He lifted his chin as he approached.

“Loki,” Bucky’s jaw squared. “I was just getting to know your little secretary, but she’s not very chatty. Hasn’t even given me her name.”

Loki snickered and peeked over at you.

“Don’t be rude, darling,” He said. You bit down and looked at Bucky and stiffly recited your name. He smirked. “She’s shy, that’s all.”

“I wouldn’t say that,” Bucky countered. “I feel like you’ve been sneaky, hiding her away.”

“Well,” Loki’s arm slowly snaked around your waist. “I thought we agreed to keep to our own territory.”

You went rigid and tried to pull away. Loki tightened his hold and kept you against him. Bucky watched you squirm and his thoughts wrinkled his forehead.

“And I thought we were just becoming friends,” Bucky returned.

“Allies,” Loki corrected. “Have I not been peaceable?”

Bucky poked his cheek with his tongue as he glanced over at you. You stared at him blankly and he nodded.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” He cleared his throat. “Both of you?”

“Of course,” Loki spread his hand over your hip and squeezed. “You know where to find… us.”

“I do,” Bucky affirmed and turned away.

You watched him go and wished you had more wine to throw as you stared at your empty glass. You tore away from Loki and jabbed his arm.

“What the fuck was that?” You snapped.

“That, darling, was how you play the game.” He grinned.

“You’re disgusting.” You glared at him.

“Oh, I wouldn’t deny that but you see, that man, oh, he is a tough nut to crack but I’ve finally found something he wants.” He said. “Something he really wants, not just some stretch of land.”

“No, no,” You spun and set your glass down. “No, I will not do this.”

His heels clicked behind you as you closed the distance to the curtained door. He shoved you through and pulled the velvet back into place as he grabbed your wrist.

“You will do whatever I want you to do.” He lowered his voice as his shadow loomed over you in the dark corridor. “You are good at what you do; your numbers, and I am sure you will recall a little jot in your margin. That one marked with the star.” He squeezed your wrist. “That’s you, darling.”

“Me?” You sputtered.

“Diablo, along with Viscardi, old pals with your father.” His other hand played with the strap of your dress. You gulped at the latter, the name of your father’s killer. “That bounty was not just for old Georgey, that was for every drop of his blood left. You…”

“No, no.” You said.

“I paid that bounty. I still pay it and it keeps you alive and in my pocket, until I should need you and your time has come.” He taunted.

“I don’t--”

“My father always said the best investments are people.” He touched your neck and tickled. “They are the most useful tools in this business. The most profitable.” He drew away and stroked your chin. “Know your worth, darling, and you might just prosper from it.”

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smarchit · 4 years

Text

Poetry for an Heiress, chapter 10

Word count: 3k

Summary: When a duchess and her children are abandoned far from home, they must rely on the kindness of one stranger to guide them home.

Warnings: None

Notes: This is the final chapter of Poetry, originally intended to be an epilogue. To those who have stuck to this story since the beginning, thank you. I am so appreciative of the support this story has gotten. I'm sorry I made you guys wait a month for this last chapter, but I promise I have smut coming soon to make up for it. Enjoy!

~~~~~~~~

The leaves on the trees had just started to turn when you and Ezra were married. It turned out to be the last nice day of the year, with a clear blue sky and the last embrace of a warm breeze that blew through the garden.

Your mother and grandmother had wanted a spring wedding for you, as was traditional, but both you and Ezra decided on early autumn. It felt better for you two, closer, more personal.

The day of your wedding was perfect, not one single thing went wrong. It was as if Kevva themselves were smiling down upon you.

Your children were so excited to find that they were going to be in your wedding. They could barely contain their excitement throughout the summer. Even the little trip you all took back to Muir for a few weeks to help Ezra pack his belongings and auction the farm couldn't distract them long enough from asking a million questions about the wedding. The only thing that seemed to pull them away long enough for you and Ezra to get a moment to yourselves was the promise of bringing the barn cat, Charlotte, and her six kittens back to the palace when you left. They wouldn't have to hunt for their food or sleep in the shed any longer, and the children were delighted at your allowing the cats to sleep with them.

The morning of the wedding, you woke to Marie crawling into bed with you and snuggling under your arm.

"Mama," she whispered, "Are you awake?"

You chuckled and looked over at her, her curls messy and falling out of the braids she slept in.

"Yes, my little bug, I am awake," you replied, brushing your knuckle along her cheek.

"I'm too excited to sleep, mama," she said, cuddling up to your chest.

"There's still time to sleep for a bit," you told her, pressing a kiss to her forehead. "It's going to be a busy day. Try to close your eyes."

"I know," she said with a yawn. "Grandmother said there was going to be sweets and dancing!"

"And we don't want to miss out on that, do we?" you teased, giving her a gentle shake.

She shook her head. "Never! Though Mr. Ezra said he would save me extra sweets if I fell asleep."

You chuckled and gave her a hug. "You won't need to call him that anymore if you don't want to. You'll be able to just call him Ezra after today."

Marie grew quiet and you looked down, wondering if she fell back asleep in your arms. Instead, she peered up at you with wide eyes.

"Can I call him papa?" she asked softly.

You brushed some of her hair away from her eyes and smiled in response. "You can if you want, little bug. That is a question for him to answer, yes? Ask him tonight if he would be alright with that."

Marie's smile grew impossibly wider and she squeezed her little arms tighter around you. "Okay, mama!"

"Now get some rest, bug," you urged her. "I'll wake you when it's time to get ready."

A few hours later, you stood in front of the large doors of the ballroom, dressed in a pale pink and blue gown, hair swept off your neck in a delicate updo. You took a deep breath as the doors opened and you walked out into the garden, the familiar path lit by several colorful blown glass luminaries, winding through the stone walkway, leading you towards Ezra.

His hand was already outstretched as you approached and he smiled broadly when you stepped onto the altar to join him at his side.

"You look beautiful," he whispered as he turned towards you. His eyes crinkled at the corners and you swore you saw tears in his eyes as he looked at you. "I am truly a lucky man, Princess."

Together, you turned to face the officiant as she read the ceremony to you both and to the small crowd behind you in the garden. She bowed low in front of you and Ezra before throwing the marriage veil over the two of you.

Ezra chuckled once the translucent shroud was draped over your heads, partially obscuring you both from the others. "Hi," he beamed, your hands still clasped in his between the two of you.

"Hi," you replied breathlessly, gazing up at Ezra. After a moment of silence,, you giggled and looked down at your joined hands. "We need to read the vows."

"Right, right," he said with a small nod. He cleared his throat and looked down at you. You both sucked in a breath and in unison, spoke your vows.

"I promise to stay by your side, through hardship and pleasure alike, to protect and praise you always, and keep the flames lit. To love the life we have, and the life we may create together now and forever more. For our lasting legacy, until the end of time."

As the final word was spoken, the officiant lifted the veil from your heads, revealing you both as one to the waiting crowd.

Ezra cupped your face in his hand and kissed you deeply, not caring one bit that your family was watching. He knew he loved you from the moment he saw you in the cantina, scared and shaken, trying to feed your children. He wanted to be with you, even if you didn't care for him the same way he did for you.

You threw your arms around him and returned his kiss with as much enthusiasm as he kissed you. You had never been more sure of anything in your whole life. This was what you had been waiting for. From the night you had been told of Rion's death, you had been waiting. Nothing had ever felt more right to you than in this moment.

Music started up around you as the party began. Your children ran towards you, wanting to be a part of the festivities as well. Marie bounced on her heels and tugged on Ezra's sweater.

"Mr. Ezra," she said softly, looking almost shy. "I have something to ask you."

"Of course, birdie," he replied, bowing at the waist to talk to her. "How about you go and get us some cake and a drink? You can ask me anything you want." He brushed her cheek with his thumb and offered her a smile.

She grinned and jumped up and down before running off towards one of the many tables laden with treats.

"Should I be worried?" Ezra asked as he watched her grab a massive piece of pink cake and duck through the crowd towards a high top table.

You chuckled and put your hands on Ezra's arm. "No more than usual, my love."

"I doubt there's anything that could ruin this day regardless," he hummed as he kissed you again.

"Mama!" Aiden cried as he shut his eyes. "Gross!"

"Mr. Ezra," Henry said, "My bow tie came undone, will you help me?"

Ezra chuckled and pulled away from your embrace. "While I can't tie much of anything these days, what I am able to do is show you how to do it yourself. Come on."

You smiled and ruffled Aiden's hair as Ezra led Henry towards the tent where the light was better. "Mama, you're not gonna do a bunch of that kissing stuff now, are you?"

"As much as possible," you teased. Aiden made a sour face and took off running towards the party. You shook your head and bounded after him, lightly threatening him with a dance should you catch him.

***

It was a few months after your wedding that you began to feel nauseous and lightheaded during your afternoon strolls through the garden with Ezra and the children. You chalked it up to the little bug that Henry and Aiden had come down with, but after it hung around for a week or so, Ezra insisted you talk to the doctor in the physician's wing. You had an idea as to the cause of your mysterious illness, but didn't voice your suspicions to your husband just yet.

After a quick test, the physician confirmed what you had been thinking. You were pregnant. By his calculations, you were about two months along, maybe nine weeks or so. Still far too early to feel anything, but it didn't matter to you. You loved your child so much already and couldn't wait to tell Ezra and the children. With the children, you figured that you could wait to tell them for a while longer, just in case something were to happen, but Ezra would want to know immediately.

You found Ezra reading in the bedroom, sitting in bed with a book in his lap. He looked up and grinned when he saw you enter.

"That was a quick visit," he said, holding his arm out, beckoning you to join him.

You crawled onto the bed and smiled as you cuddled up to him. "Put the book down. I have some good news to share with you, my love."

Ezra slipped the bookmark between the pages and slid the book onto the bedside table. He rearranged himself on the bed beside you and turned to face you expectantly.

You took his hand and rested it against your belly, looking at him hopefully, excitement bubbling inside you, ready to burst. "I'm pregnant, Ez," you whispered. You bit your lip, nervously awaiting his reaction. It didn't occur to you that he might be anything but elated, or that perhaps you should have told him in a different way.

Ezra blinked a few times, processing what you had just told him. It was one of the few times you'd left him completely speechless. He barked out an excited laugh and surged forward to kiss you. "Pregnant! Princess, are you telling me I--- we are going to have a baby!"

You nodded and laughed as he kissed your cheeks, your mouth, your forehead, any spare inch of your skin that he could reach. "Yes, yes! The doctor confirmed it, but no one else knows. We mustn't tell anyone just yet!"

"Of course," he said quickly, "I can't hardly believe it!" He kissed you again and rolled over, dragging you on top of him. "Another bird to add to our flock, Princess! Imagine!"

***

Your daughter made her entrance into the world one late summer night, red and wailing and perfect, only a few hours after you went into labor while on a walk with Ezra and the children in the garden. The physician had warned you months ago that it was normal if your labor was so short, given that it was your fourth child, after all.

Ezra was by your side the entire time, encouraging you and coaching your breathing as you sat in between his legs. He let you squeeze his hand during contractions, right up until the midwife kicked him out when they were mere minutes apart.

It wasn't long at all after the nurses shoved Ezra into the hallway that they opened the door again to proclaim the good news. A healthy baby girl.

As Ezra was let back in the room, he brought his hand to his mouth when he spotted you holding your child to your breast. He sat down beside you in the bed and stared at you both in awe.

Your daughter turned in your arms, her bright eyes blinking sleepily in the dim light from the fireplace beside your bed. Her eyes were yours no doubt about that, but she had Ezra's beautiful, perfect mouth. Perhaps one day she would have his silver tongue to match.

Most notably, and what had first taken your own breath away, was the shock of dark hair that lay against her head. However, on her hairline was a downy tuft of fine white hairs, exactly like her father's. It had brought you to tears when you first spotted it as the midwife lifted her from between your legs.

"She's perfect, Princess," he whispered, putting his arm over your shoulder. He rested his head against your temple and stared down at the tiny baby asleep in your arms. "What should we name her?"

"Eudora," you whispered after a moment of silence, glancing up at him, waiting for his reaction.

Ezra was quiet, and for a second, you worried you had upset him. But he slowly moved his arm from around your shoulders to grip the baby's tiny hand in two of his fingers.

"Eudora," he said quietly, his voice breaking slightly. "That is a fine name, isn't it?"

"I never stopped thinking about what you'd told me the day you pulled me out of the water," you murmured, kissing the top of your daughter's head. "About your sister."

"Poor thing," he said softly. "I wish I'd gotten to meet her."

"I wanted to honor her," you said. "And your mother, if you'd like. For a middle name?"

"My mother," Ezra replied, brushing his thumb over the back of Eudora's tiny hand. "My mother's name was Rachel."

"Eudora Rachel," you said softly as you pressed your lips to her forehead. "Welcome to the world, my sweet girl."

Ezra wiped the tears from his eyes as he watched the two of you. He hadn't stopped grinning since the midwife came out and announced her birth. He couldn't believe that this tiny bundle sleeping in your arms was a part of him. It felt as though it could all disappear if he blinked. He feared he would wake up, back on the Green, that perhaps this was a dream brought on by the toxic dust that had seeped into his blood. But it was real.

"Do you want to hold her?" you asked, nudging him with your shoulder. You smiled at his awestruck expression as he regarded your question, nodding slowly when you passed her over to him.

"Hello, little birdie," he said softly, shifting himself onto the bed so he could rest her carefully in the crook of his arm. "Hi, sweet girl. I-- I'm your dad. Happy birthday, angel."

You leaned against Ezra's shoulder and yawned, exhausted from bringing your daughter into the world. You let Ezra's gentle voice be a lullaby as you drifted off to sleep. Tomorrow, your children and your mother and grandmother would meet Eudora. Her birth would finally be announced to the world, introducing her as the newest princess. But for now, it was just the three of you, your husband by your side, your daughter sleeping in a bassinet by the fire. And it was absolutely perfect.

The next morning, you woke with Eudora's short, wailing cries for milk, which you provided happily. You were already untying the laces on your nightgown to bare your breast to her as you moved to her little crib to carry her back to bed.

Ezra had awoken with you, or perhaps maybe he had not slept at all. He watched you feed her and then change her with rapt attention, afraid to miss even a moment of his daughter's first hours of life.

It was still very early in the morning, the moon had not yet gone down, the sun still far from reaching the horizon. It had only been a few hours since you had fallen asleep, the clock on the mantel let you know as much. But both you and Ezra stayed awake after that until the sun rose, leaning against one another as you watched your daughter sleep soundly between your bodies.

"She's perfect," he whispered, leaning over to kiss you. "She is such a tiny little thing, I'm afraid I would crush her."

"It always feels that way," you murmured. "But you won't."

"I can't stop looking at her," he said. "She has only just seen her first sunrise and I would already shoot a man dead for even looking at her."

"That feeling will never go away either," you chuckled, glancing back down at Eudora. You trailed your fingers over the fine white patch in her hair and smiled at the thought that she would carry her father with her always.

Ezra ran his fingers over the back of your hand and leaned over to press a kiss to your forehead.

"And you, Princess, how do you feel?" he asked, settling back to look at you.

"Wonderful," you replied, with a small smile. You heard the rapid pounding of feet in the hallway outside as your children raced to meet their new baby sister. Your mother opened the door and the children poured inside, already squealing with delight.

Ezra gently scooped Eudora into his arm so the children could get a closer, careful look at her.

You looked at the five of them and smiled fondly at the new life you now had. It felt like a dream, perfect in every way imaginable.

After a moment, Ezra set the baby down in her bassinet and rejoined you on the bed to watch the children as they peered into her little cradle.

"Remember that night in the garden on Muir?" he asked, lacing his fingers in yours. "When I promised you I would always be there to read you poetry?"

You smiled and leaned against him. "I believe the phrasing was something about whispering poetry between my thighs," you said, your voice hushed.

Ezra chuckled and nodded. "That was indeed the phrase, yes. And I will keep that promise until the end of my days, Princess. I will write poems for you, for the children. For this little one." He looked over at the bassinet and smiled widely before turning to you again and kissing you sweetly. "All my love, Princess. And in a hundred years, they can tell stories of us, be inspired by us, and by our poetry."

~~~~~~

TAGLIST:

@the-feckless-wonder @gallowsjoker @phoenixhalliwell @waatermelon-sugaar @huliabitch @miscellaneous-mando @lestrange2703 @seasonschange-butpeopledont @auandromedus

#my writing #poetry for an heiress #ezra prospect #ezra x reader #ezra x you #prospect #pedro pascal

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joannie95 · 4 years

Text

Before You Go

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader platonic Steve Rogers x Reader platonic

Summary: Sometimes all you need is for someone to ask “are you okay?”

Word Count: 2k+

Warnings: Talk of depression and mental health, talk of death, angst

A/N:I actually wrote something its some sort of miracle. seriously though im sorry for not updating legacy, work has gotten very stressful lately and that has been my main focus. Ill try to write more but I cant make any promises and I hope this story makes up for it.

A/N; This story was inspired by before you go by Lewis Capaldi. This story means a lot to me because at one point in my life I have had thoughts similar to the ones i wrote about. Thank you to @mo320 for proofreading

Bucky's pov

"I hate her"

"No you don't."

"Yes I do. Why did she have to leave, why couldn't she just tell me what was wrong instead she decided to leave me."

"Bucky are you listening to yourself right now? You're making this about you, you're not mad that she left you're mad that you didn't see what was going on with her."

Maybe Steve had a point. She always seemed so happy and I was so preoccupied with what was happening in my life that I didn't see that she was hurting.

Y/N's pov

You looked at your reflection in the mirror and tried to compose and make yourself presentable for the day. You can feel that you're dying inside, you feel like you'd be a burden on your friends if they knew how you felt so all the hurt and all the pain is being pushed down for you to deal with on your own. You are brought back to reality when you hear a knock at the door, you wipe away the tears you didn't notice had fallen.

You walk to your front door but before opening it you put on your most believable smile. As soon as the door is open your best friend Bucky walks in with a bag of takeout in his hand.

He places the bag on your coffee table and slumps down on your couch. "She was supposed to be the one, we could have been so happy together but instead I find her kissing some random guy."

You walk over to the couch and sit next to him, he lays his head on your lap and you run your fingers through his hair and chuckle. "Quit being dramatic, you went on 3 dates and she told you it wasn't serious. And that "random" guy was her ex, they broke up a month ago and we all knew they were bound to get back together once they got their heads out of their ass."

He sits back up and places his head on your shoulder as you lightly stroke his arm. "Yeah i know, it's nice to dream though."

You sit up and look at him. "Come on no moping, let's eat, get drunk and watch movies all night. What do you say?"

He laughs at your eagerness. "Alright fine." He picks up the remote and finds a movie. "you're always so happy and make everything better, how do you do it?"

A lot of practice you think to yourself. You smile and hope he believes this false front you're putting up.

You spent your day off at home, you tried so hard not to let your thoughts get to you. But once again you failed, you're a failure you couldn't even manage to get out of bed. What's the point of trying anymore if you'll never be good enough. The ringing next to you brings you back to reality, you see Bucky's name on the screen and answer hoping the cheery tone in your voice is enough to make him think you're fine. "Hey Buck, what's up?

"Nothing much really, long day at work and I just want to forget it. I was wondering if you wanted to go out to a bar tonight."

You hesitated, not really feeling up for human interaction at the moment. "I don't know, I'm kinda tired. I've been cleaning all day."

"Please y/n, it's been a long day and I just want to hangout with my best friend and have a fun night."

You don't want to but if you say no then maybe he'll find other friends that do want to go out and have fun. Then you'll be alone but maybe you deserve to be alone, maybe...

"Y/N. So what do you say?'

You let out a breath. "Yeah why not."

"Awesome you're the best. I'll pick you up in an hour."

You force yourself out of bed and make yourself presentable enough so you don't embarrass Bucky.

You and Bucky have been at the bar for nearly an hour. The night started out well, you let him lead the conversation and kept a smile on your face but you're noticing his attention is elsewhere. "Bucky, did you hear me?"

"What?" He turns back to you quickly. "Yeah you were saying?"

"I asked if you're alright, you seem distracted."

He looked towards the other side of the bar before bringing his attention back to you. "I'll be right back."

Before you had time to object he was gone. You saw him walking towards a tall blond with bright green eyes. Of course, she was gorgeous and you were well, just you. He was probably embarrassed to be seen with you. You pulled your shoulders in wishing you were invisible.

About 15 minutes later Bucky came walking back with a big smile on his face. "Hey doll I hope it's alright but i'm gonna head out." He looked back at the girl a few feet behind him. "Will you be alright getting home?"

You tried not to look disappointed, you understood he'd rather spend time with anyone but you. Like second nature you put a smile on your face to hide the truth. "Of course, have fun. I'll talk to you later."

"Thanks your the best." He kissed your forehead before quickly leaving with his new date.

You turned back around in your seat and willed yourself not to cry. You paid your tab and wiped the tear that was about to fall before rushing out of the bar. You were so lost in your thoughts you didn't hear someone calling you till you felt a hand on your shoulder and you jumped in fear. You turned around and saw your friend Steve.

"Hey, I'm sorry I didn't mean to scare you. I was calling you but you didn't hear me, are you okay? I saw Bucky leaving with someone before I had the chance to say hi."

"Yeah I'm fine, I was tired anyways just ready to head home."

"Okay." He noticed the look on your face. You were smiling but your eyes seemed so sad, it seemed familiar to him. "well let me at least walk you home, it's late and I'd feel better making sure you got home safe."

"You don't have to do that, I'm fine. You should go enjoy your Friday night." He's probably pitying you, you're nothing but a burden to him.

"Please. I just want to make sure you're okay."

You nod and quietly continue walking home.

After some time Steve speaks up. "Recently, I have noticed some differences in you and wondered how you're doing."

You try and act calm. "I'm fine Steve, just a lot of work is all. Nothing you should worry about."

"That's the thing though I am worried. The way you've been acting is the same way my dad used to act. He tried to put up this tough front and act like he was fine but he wasn't. There were days when he just couldn't get out of bed, at the time I didn't understand what was wrong. He needed help but he didn't want to admit it."

You came to a stop in front of your apartment building. You wiped away the tears that were starting to form as Steve continued to speak.

"You have the same look on your face as he did when you think you people aren't looking. I regret not asking him this, it's too late for him but not for you." Tears were forming in his eyes as he was reliving the memories of losing his dad. "I need you to tell me, are you okay and what can I do to help you?"

You started to shake your head, you didn't want to put your problems onto him. Steve had enough going on in his life, how dare you burden other people with your problems.

Almost as if he knew what you were thinking he pulled you into a tight hug. "I promise you are not a burden to me or any of your friends, we love you and we just want to help."

The dam broke and once you started crying you couldn't stop. "It hurts everyday Steve and it won't stop. I try my hardest to be strong but I can't do it anymore. I can't act like I'm okay when I'm dying inside. I hate myself and I hate that I'm causing you problems. I just, I feel worthless and I can't."

"You need help, it's the only way things will get better. You can't let this eat away at you till you can't take it anymore, we can't lose you. It kills me how your mind can make you feel so worthless."

Steve stays over that night, you talk and understand the best thing for you to do is move back home with your dad in Seattle and get the proper help you need. You call your dad and apologize for waking him up before explaining the situation, he's more than happy to welcome you back home. You and Steve spend the rest of the night making a plan. You'll take what's most necessary to Seattle and leave the rest in storage until you're ready, if you're ever ready to return to New York.

You don't see or hear from Bucky again till a few days later. By then you're all packed up and ready to leave waiting for your cab to arrive. He pulls up to your building and sees you hugging Steve and suitcases by your side.

"Thank you for everything Steve, I didn't realize how much help I really needed if it weren't for you."

"Of course, I just want you to be okay. Don't be afraid to call me if you ever need to talk and I promise to visit." He turns around when he hears a car door close and sees Bucky walking towards the both of you. "I think i should get going now, call me when you land." With that said he walks towards his car and greets Bucky before driving off.

Bucky walks towards you confused about the situation. "Hey, what's going on? Are you going on a trip you didn't tell me about?"

"I'm going home to Seattle Bucky." Your grip tightens on your suitcase handle.

"To visit? How long are you going for?"

You let out a breath. "No, I'm not sure how long I'll be gone."

"Wait, what do you mean." He started to raise his voice at you. "Were you just going to leave without telling me? How can you do this to me? We're supposed to be best friends."

"Yes we are supposed to be best friends so tell me why you never notice something was wrong. Bucky, if we were really best friends you would have noticed how depressed I am. I felt, I feel like I'm dying inside some days but you're so preoccupied with your love life you couldn't be bothered to notice. Look Bucky, I care about you and I want you to be happy but right now I need to focus on me and I can't do that here."

He started to cry once he knew the truth. "I'm sorry, i'm sorry I didn't notice but please don't leave me."

Your cab pulled up and it was time to leave, the driver took your bags and you asked him to give you a minute. You pulled Bucky to the side. "I'm sorry but I have to go now. I hope I can be well enough one-day to come back but for now I can't be here." You pull him into one last hug and kiss his forehead before letting go.

Before you get into your cab with tears in his eyes he speaks up. "Before you go. Was there something I could've said to make it all stop hurting?"

"Honestly, all you had to do was ask are you okay?" And with that you left, hopefully one day soon you'd be able to return as a better person in a better place.

@agentmarvel13 @1v-kayla @5sos-wdw @a-dancing-hufflepuff @agent-barnes40 @agreatcheesecakestudentstuff @annoylinglyaries @antclottz @avngrsinitiative @bradfordsgreekgod @babypink224221 @captainam-erika-trash @carisi-sonny @caseymcflurry @chook007 @cosmiccomicloverqueen @daniellajocelyn @doctoranon @ecamille-xo @editsbyjenny @ellieababy @eternaleviee @futuremissstark @geeksareunique @gummiwormsandonedirection @henrietteoaks @hermionie-is-my-queen @imahoeforbucky @ineedmorefanfics @isabella-bby @jaemingold @jamessbarnnes @junitorials13 @katykyll @keenmarvellover @klanceiscannon14 @lady-sigyn @littlephoenix-fire @lovemarvelousfics @l0kisbitch @luckyfiction17 @ludwigvonbaethoven @maddie-laufeyson @magnificentsoulecollector @mikariell95 @mistressoftorture @moli1497 @nanajaeminniee @orderoftheflamingflamingos @oxodianaoxo @paintballkid711 @pastelpurplexoox @peteyparkersbabyy @princessizzy36 @shallowshawn @sillydecoy @spodermanpete @starstruckgardenstudentzonk @stuckyandsciencebros @superhero2552 @thatharrypotterfan13 @thatweirdchick147 @the-ducks-umbrella @tienna-laufeyson16 @trustme3-13 @wishiwasanavenger @xalinx @yougottalovefandoms @zaza-jones @izzyisavengersupernaturaltrash @angstysebfan @rarelikesel

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes imagine #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers imagine #Bucky Barnes #Steve Rogers #before you go

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idio-cies · 4 years

Text

JATP- Wake Up Dissection

“Wake Up” is structured like a conversation between Julie and her Mother.

Not only did her Mother (I think we are all agreed on Rose here?) write it for her, knowing that Julie will have a tough time, but she left gaps for Julie to fill. Julie is Rose’s legacy, by Julie filling in the gaps, she is continuing the memory of her mother. This is what Julie realises; she can keep her mother “alive” with music- which figuratively is what Luke, Reggie and Alex experience, and also how Julie “awakens” them in the first place is by playing their music. Anyway. This is about JULIE.

Just a PSA. Wake up is the first song I listened to before I watched the show so I could see if I wanted to watch it or not. Madison absolutely blew me away with her vocals, she has that raw talent that you just can’t autotune to make it that way. That is what had me sold, along with the meaning of this song etc. The raw piano throughout this is one of the reasons why I love this song as well.

This song is so emotionally driven and deep. I have seen people compare it to Unsaid Emily. They do contrast, but mostly point out how Unsaid Emily is possibly more upsetting. Wake Up is emotional, because the journey Julie has in this one song counteracts the sadness, it is meant to make you feel warmer and happier because that is literally what it’s doing for Julie; it is revitalising her!

Anyway the song!

The feel of the keys- She does this in her audition as well, showing how emotionally painful it is.

The piano in this is just beautifully powerful, if you could imagine listening to this as an instrumental, you can almost imagine that the sun is rising… it starts off like nature is waking up, it really is special. Julie’s expressions are so key as well.

“Here’s the one thing that I want you to know, you got someplace to go”- this is her mum telling her that she has talent and that she can see her going far in this pursuit of music. Her Mum is giving her advice in this song. Julie is focused on her mother’s words

“Life’s a test, yes, but you go toe-to-toe”- This is pretty self-explanatory. You take life one step at a time, even if it is cumbersome. Julie smiles a little at this, it’s a little bit of rhetoric, as she knows life is tough.

“You don’t give up, no, you grow”- Julie did give up, she was very close to giving up all together because it was too much for her. But Rose here is giving her that little extra push and love telling her that she will be alright and it’s all part of life.

“And you use your pain, ‘cause it makes you you”- The expression “it's not what the pain is, it’s how you deal with it” comes into mind. How one responds to pain is what determines what type of person you are. Julie did run away from it, she wasn’t yet ready to face it and move forward. She was letting grief rule her, but Rose here is telling her that pain; adversity can be a blessing. It can make you stronger and brighter. Also look at Julie’s expressions here, she is thinking it over and considering them. She is listening and feeling her mother’s words

“Though I wish I could hold you through it”- This is where it is most prominent (other than the fact that Rose left this song for Julie in the first place) that they all knew her mother was going to pass away. So it was a terminal illness. She is sorry that she is going, but she is trying to give her life and a meaning to keep going in response, because she knows what talent Julie has, and knew how Julie would respond I imagine, hence why she left the song for her. Julie looks up at this point and this is where she chokes up a little. This phrase has a deep connection to when Julie is outside the Orpheum and asks for Rose to hold her and tell her everything will be okay.

“I know it’s not the same, you’ve got living to do, and I just want you to do it” I like how straightforward Rose is though. She knows that physically being there is what is wanted, but she is hoping to get Julie to realise that wallowing in her grief will not allow herself to live a good life that she is destined to have, which is what she needs.

“So get up, get out, relight that spark.” - Julie suddenly becomes very serious and determined in this moment. She got the heartwarming speech, and now she is being told directly to literally “get up”. This just speaks a lot to me. I’m a lucky person who has a good relationship with my mum, I know not everyone does. But you know when you go through pitfalls throughout life, whether its a scrape of the knee when you’re young, a breakup or fallout, a depressive episode, or not knowing where life is headed for you and you just have a sob and you wish for your mum (or dad) to be there to just give you a hug and give soothing words, then when you’ve calmed down they tell you that you can continue because they know you are capable, but they urge you on so you realise that for yourself. I can’t imagine losing that. My mum lost her mum last year. They had a rocky relationship to begin with, but ended up with a good relationship and ever since then I realised how much pain my mum must’ve been in, so I very much bawled at this song.

That little soothing and then the short words of “get up, get out” is what Julie needed. Julie clearly had security from her parents, but she needed a bit more of a push. Interestingly the “soothing” words is the approach that her Dad tries and probably Mr. Turner, which she did not appreciate. Julie also pointed out how she felt everyone around her treated her life she was about to snap. They were being too soft on her, so this little push is what she needed.

“You know the rest by heart”- Rose knows Julie is talented, and that Julie will know what to do when she comes to it. This is the turning point.

“Wake up, wake up if it’s all you do”- I identify this as referring to depression, something that you will no doubt feel when a loved one passes away. Sometimes it’s very hard to just wake up and get out of bed, so the fact that Rose tells her to “wake up if it’s all you do” is something that speaks to me, and also links to when she was saying about taking things a step at a time.

I need to go off a minute on the cinematography here! First we get the piano which is Julie’s instrument that she inherited(?) from her mother, and the fact that we see it in the dark, and as it progressively gets lighter is another symbol of saying “This is a reflection of Julie” and how the light is coming back into her.

Then a totally different angle with the sun rising as it literally lights the room. Julie literally reawakens the room with her music. She brings life back into the room (remember when she talks to Emily about how magical and good the studio is). This angle as well makes it look like Julie is some kind of avenging angel. It is meant to isolate her, but it does the exact opposite. You have absolutely no feeling of isolation or sadness. If there was this angle at the beginning then yes it would, but the addition of the sun makes it warm and welcoming.

“It’s not what you lost, it’s what you’ll gain raising your voice to the rain”- It’s all about the strength that Julie will gain from her loss. “Raising your voice to the rain” Is such a beautiful line for many reasons. There is a metaphor of whatever Julie creates, is beautiful. I also interpret: Rain can be loud, and metaphorically speaking when you are “grey” or a “clouded mind” you are depressed and that can make your head feel loud and this line is saying to go above that. “Raising” as the sun is raising is very significant. It is “relighting” Julie and that she is the sun breaking through the “rain”. The Sunrise is also symbolic for new beginnings as well. But the rain can be a good thing; it means there is life and nourishment. Julie has found life to herself after the rain, as sun and water are needed in order for a plant to GROW. I mean the plants are literally all behind Julie...

Also I can’t help but think about how the sun and rain work together in this, and there are A LOT of rainbows in this show. I mean I know we have Alex, but there is only one around him and that’s his bracelet which is meant to tell us “This dude’s gay” the other rainbows are something else.

“Wake up your dream and make it true”- telling her to re-establish her dream, and go for it.

“Look out, look inside of you”- repeat, but this is where we see Ray along with “It’s not what you lost” and I just love that they added her family in. Ray was the one who didn’t want to push her, but was always there to encourage and support her. I added this in with “It’s not what you lost” because I think you can also associate it to her family. He lost too and he was losing another part of Rose with Julie and the instruments and he didn’t want Julie to hurt anymore. He must’ve been so proud of her to just sit at that piano.

“Relight that spark, time to come out of the dark”- a variation of what Rose has already said to Julie, but really hammering home the constant symbolism of Julie being the “spark”. Again, I like how straightforward she is being “Time to come out of the dark”. It’s been a year at this time with Julie and she is at a crossroads, but the song isn’t pushing her so far, it’s literally just like giving her the matches and she’s the one that needs to take one out and light it.

“Better wake those demons, better look them in the eye”- trample on those demons girl, you’ve got this. I can’t tell whether this is Julie, or Rose. I think it’s Julie considering the rest of the verse. This is ironic. You would expect demons to be “awake” at night, but this song is talking about coming out of the dark, so she is basically bringing light to her flaws/pain, not letting them haunt her and owning them.

“No reason not to try”- she shouldn’t hold herself back because there shouldn’t be anything hindering her. Look at her though! She is enjoying this so much.

“Life can be a mess, I won’t let it cloud my mind”- It is literally Julie’s response to what Rose was telling her about life being a test etc. Julie is embracing it now and she will stand up to fight.

“I’ll let my fingers fly”- I like this. Julie is linked to butterflies (another rebirth symbol), but also with music much of it comes from your fingers anyway by playing instruments or writing music etc., so I just thought this was cute.

“And I use the pain, ‘cause it’s part of me. And I’m ready to power through it”- again responding directly from what her mother told her to use the strength from pain as it makes her who she is. Also just look at how much power and emotion she is putting into these lyrics. She knows she is ready to go forward. She arrived at that herself, she could’ve stopped, or not responded, but she knows.

“Gonna find the strength, find the melody. ‘Cause you showed me how to do it”- Her mother is within her, she is the one who taught her, but ultimately Julie will ride to her own beat, carrying the memory and legacy of her mother.

Repeat of the chorus, but she looks up again on “you know the rest by heart”, however, this time it’s as if she was saying thank you with power and strength under her belt. Julie completely gives herself over to the music as well

I also like that they included Carlos also admiring Julie, he clearly was also proud of her for picking up music again, and I just… I know there wasn’t terribly much with Julie and Carlos but it just shows you how much he looks up to her. Plus, this probably makes him reminisce about his mother in the best possible way as well. Carlos and Ray are kind of the same in this instance, though I would argue to say that Ray was more emotional, Carlos is just more content.

“So wake that Spirit, spirit”- I do think this is ironic, because of the Phantoms, as well as it being Julie’s spirit inside of her. Julie did ignite the guys’ spirits, metaphorically and physically. Listening to their music is what brought them back, but their spirit for music and being able to connect was also reignited. I mean she literally rises up like a “spirit” in this moment...

“I wanna hear it, hear it” At this point Julie looks up, like she is singing so loud, she wants her mum to hear it. I think these are Rose’s words once again and is the reason Julie is belting up.

“No need to fear it, you’re not alone” Definitely Rose’s words, another reiteration of what has been said previously. Julie has always had the support of her family and Flynn, but she also now has the support of the guys who were the ones who also prodded her to reawakening her music (Luke says about how playing music made him feel alive again and any musician would revell in how it would feel to get it back. This is what gets Julie thinking and what she feels during this song), and literally supported her on stage for the sake of supporting her (see bright performance).

“You’re going to find your way home”- the reassurance of Rose’s words at the beginning after telling her to get up and get out there. There is also a safe space for her to reside

This moment is just so powerful, she has fully succumbed to the music. The sun behind her with the plants and the glass. I just can’t help but feel like this is a sense of refraction because of when I was talking about the rain and sun making rainbows, but anyway. This scene is just beautiful because you just know that they are telling us that she has awoken and that her voice is a gift. That Julie is the light shining as well. It changes angle, and it was not until the third time I watched this song did I notice you see tear stains. She’s smiling, but those tear stains just tell me of the journey she made solely through that song alone, how she would’ve been crying because of the pain but also just crying from elation and figuring out what she has to do with her mother’s gift to her of music.

This last chorus has “when you feel lost, relight that spark” and I just find it interesting that it pans to Luke with “when you feel lost”. This is important as he felt lost when he regretted running away, and how Julie and Luke’s story are connected in a similar way. Julie “lost” her music and Luke “lost” his chance at repair. But anyway, it’s still all the same message of “you will find your way back, just believe in yourself and your ability because you have the power to be great.”

How she ends it though, is just pure joy. As she should, she is clearly proud of herself as well, and I can’t imagine how much relief she must have felt after she took that stride.

I also think that having the guys standing behind her with the light is meant to signify how they are behind her; they are a part of her support and will help her in her path to greatness.

Madison is amazing and I still can’t believe this is her first time acting. She executed it perfectly, from the emotion in her face, body language to her voice.

And then it reveals that Rose left a message for her. “Julie, you can do it <3 Love, Mom” and that is where you wail. Her mother believes in her so much and it’s honestly just so beautiful.

This has been my dissection of “Wake Up”

I hope I haven’t broken too many people

#jatp #julie and the phantoms #julie molina #jatp julie #jatp analysis #jatp meta #this was so long I'm sorry #and I have a feeling I may have broken a few people if they read this #I know I broke myself writing this

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dreamingofscully · 4 years

Photo

5x02. “Redux II” - X-Files Rewatch

I'll be including more pics below because there's just too many good ones in this episode.

Mulder desperately searching for Scully. Yelling at people in frustration.

"I'm only half dead." - Mulder 😫 😭

The whole scene with Mulder seeing Scully is heartbreaking (DD does a masterful job here). He gets the wind knocked out of him seeing her so sick. He had no idea it had gotten this far, he thought he had more time. Being confronted with the reality of her illness here... She's seemed okay up until now. Fighting desperately to be near her. Only leaves because he's forced away and is pissed at Skinner for taking him away from her. He can't take his eyes away from her the whole time he's leaving.

When Mulder visits Scully in the hospital & she's conscious. The whole scene is just disgusting. 😍 So much touching and gazing. First the cheek kiss, holding her hand and sitting on the bed close to her. Caressing her hair. Then kissing her hand when he leaves.

He tries to just be there and not stress her out about what's going on. Him being around and it not being work-related is not something that they do. Scully insists on needing to know. She tells Mulder to let her take the blame for the murder of Scott Ostelhoff - to give her illness some meaning. Mulder is blown away by her offer - that she would try to protect him even when she's dying. "Mulder, if I can save you let me." He can't do that to her, can't tarnish her memory by letting her do that. UGH.

Bill telling Mulder to leave the work away, to let Scully die with dignity. What does Mulder think Scully told her brother about him?

Lone Gunmen! Finding the chip.

The disagreements in Scully's room. "I think that everybody here has their heart in the right place."

"She's your big defender, but I think the truth is she just doesn't want to disappoint you." Bill Scully

"If it works I don't care what you think she thinks." Again, Mulder doesn't give two shits about what other people think about him. He just wants to do what he can to help people, to find the truth.

Bill hitting back with "You're the reason for it." and "You're one sorry son of a bitch." - more guilt :(

Mulder is just... there, now. He's done what he can and given Scully the chip. Now he just has to wait to see if it works.

I'm going to go off the rails and talk about some Samantha stuff here (even though I don't really care all that much). Is the Samantha in this ep a clone? Must be, given what we learn later. What is the purpose of keeping her around? Is everything she told Mulder a lie or does she actually believe she's Samantha and is living a lie? For what reason? Because CSM relishes having power? Having his own family that views him as benevolent instead of the evil man that he really is? What happens to her after his attempted assassination?

CSM offers Mulder the truth/his sister in exchange for leaving the FBI and working for him instead. It's a tempting offer, and one that Mulder may have taken if he didn't have Scully in his life. CSM has a singular obsessive focus that I think you can parallel with Mulder (not obsessed with power but finding and exposing the truth). They focus on these goals at the expense of everything else.

EXCEPT Mulder chooses Scully over the truth at the end - CSM cannot comprehend that Mulder would do such a thing because he would never do it himself.

I think it is assumed by most people that it is the chip that saves her life. But I like to imagine perhaps it is the three things in her life that save her.

the Chip - representing Mulder and their search for the truth

the Science - her unconventional treatment

her Faith - praying with Father McCue, returning to her church, her family and history

I love that she uses everything at her disposal to try to save herself. She doesn't just rely on one thing. She desperately wants to live. Hugging her mom and talking about pushing away her faith when she needs it the most.

Mulder visiting Scully at night and crying. 😭 I love his infatuation with caressing her hair.

"I was lost last night."

Why did he make up his mind to take the deal with CSM after crying by Scully's bedside? Maybe he thought it would save her and he was desperate. Maybe he thought that he had nothing to lose, if Scully wasn't going to get better.

Again - she offers to take the blame but he CAN'T let her. He couldn't live with the thought of her memory, her legacy being anything but the one she should have - that she is so full of goodness, the only one in his life that has ever shown him decency and respect.

"We all have our faith and mine is in the truth." - Mulder

"Then why'd you come here if you'd already made up your mind?" - Scully "Because I knew you'd talk me out of it if I was making a mistake." - Mulder, with a giant grin at her. Acknowledging that he respects her opinion, that she saves him with every question and comment she makes that goes against his initial thoughts.

When Father McCue arrives, she reaches for Mulder's hand. Needing his strength to make another leap on her own. "You'll be in my prayers."

He kisses her cheek again. Her desperate grasping of his hand when he leaves. Not wanting to let him go. Knowing she has to do this last thing by herself.

The consortium has CSM assassinated because he keeps protecting Mulder unreasonably. Why they kept the spying from him.

"It's the best news I could have ever heard." Mulder's expression telling Skinner about Scully's remission. So soft, relaxed. Holding his vigil outside of her room. Really wish we'd gotten to see Scully telling Mulder this news. ARGH. Thank god for fanfic.

#xfiles #x-files #x-files rewatch #x files rewatch #msr #msrheadcanon #mulder and scully #fox mulder #dana scully #season 5 #cancer arc

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blarrghe · 4 years

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♥ Dorian and Taren!

Look what you did, you made Dorian cry.

Lengthy emo feelings ahead. No cut because mobile sorry =/

Dorian had seen Taren cry. More than once, in fact. It wasnt that it happened often, just that the elf had quite a lot to contend with. There was no shame in it, and indeed Taren took very little shame in anything pertaining to his emotion. He was free with it; asking for help almost as easily as he offered it. Almost. The first time Dorian had seen Taren cry the whole thing had actually come to a rather dramatic head specifically because of the Lord Inquisitor's refusal to show vulnerability. But grief makes people do uncharacteristic things. It had done so to Taren; made him hide his fear and doubt behind unrelenting activity. Work work work, until the crash. Dorian had been there for the crash, and it had been the first time he'd been there, like that, for anyone.

Dorian had seen Taren cry a few times after that, not with a crash, but just for a moment under a hug at the end of a long day. And he had begun to understand that it was a reasonable thing to do, sometimes, to cry. The world was a very tumultuous and unhappy place, filled with demons and bandits and various vicious beasts. There was no shame in fear or grief or loneliness, and truly, it was ok to cry.

For other people.

For Dorian, a more suitable alternative had always been - and would remain - expensive, strong brandy. On the day he recieved news of his father's death, he found some in the cellars, and taking it without asking soon found himself a quarter of the way through the bottle, hunched over a desk at the top of Skyhold's mage tower. It was an unusual venue for him; he never had migrated over from the library after the tower was built. But the tower smelled like lyrium and thrummed with residual magic, and at the top of it it was cold, and quiet.

He rubbed a thumb over the letter in his pocket, and swirled the brandy in his glass. Father was dead. It had been coming long enough; he wasnt young, and his friends were mostly false ones, but it came on suddenly nevertheless. It also came with consequences. Opportunity, he reminded himself, to actually apply all that good-principled change he'd been dreaming up all his life. And Taren would understand, he always did.

Or he might not.

Another drink.

He might say he understood and then resent him.

A larger drink.

He might have reached it, that end he always knew would one day come.

He drained the glass.

He pulled the letter out of his pocket and poured himself another glass. His mother's writing was fine, her words matter of fact and devoid of emotion. He wouldn't have expected much more, and he didn't expect that she was at this moment taking the news any differently than he was; with a strong drink and a quiet moment alone. She would cry at the funeral, dramatically, and then gather up the fortune bequeathed to her and take a sojourn out to the family beach house. She'd likely be gone from the estate before his luggage arrived. Oh, but he did not want to have to live in that house again. He took another bitter sip, gritting his teeth against the thought that he had never really lived in that house at all.

Well, he chuckled dryly to himself, he could free all the slaves while mother was away. Have her come back to find him cooking his own meals.

All these lines of thought quickly led him back to the main point, which was that his father was dead, and he wasnt quite sure how he felt about it. But however he felt, it was unpleasant, and he sought to numb it with brandy.

They had exchanged a handful of letters, after that strained reunion in Denerim. His father had asked for a forgiveness he had never granted, and that even now he was not sure he could. There was some decency to the letters, a reluctant push toward reconciliation brought on, no doubt, by his father's reckoning with his own mortality; his death had resulted from illness in the end, not political motivation. And how very bitter that dance had felt. A father who had only marginally accepted him after years of pushback, asking to be heard out of love. Thanks to the letters, thoughts of his childhood had been digging into him since well before the eventual death, and the nostalgia in them was heartwrenching and infuriating. He had given his father many proud moments, impressing his early teachers and outshining his peers. He had almost been such a perfect son.

Dorian had answered every letter slowly, leaving them at the bottom of his long to-do lists. Mostly he had just wanted to avoid those conversations because he didn't exactly know what to do with them. What to do with a relationship so steeped in resentment? What to do with all the things that would never change, that he would never get an answer for? What to do now that there was nothing else he could ever say.

He should have written longer letters. He should have had a better father. He should have been a better son.

A memory slipped itself in uninvited between mild frustration and a growing fuzziness in his thoughts; a vacation, praise for learning some new spell, the giddy joy of being seven and already important. Pride. A good memory, a happy memory where his father was kind and his mother was sober and his legacy was exciting. It was always the warmest memories that left his heart cold.

He had spent about half his life a golden child, then in a flurry of dissillusionment and ideological exasperation, made a very deliberate show of throwing it all away. Rebellion and resentment had been his only modes of communication with either of his parents for years, and with more than enough good reason. Dead or not, some broken part of him would always be angry. And the parts of him that were whole knew well enough that his anger was justified.

He had idly imagined the familial fallout of death a number of times; in his darkest moments, he'd ruminated on the shadow he could cast with his own, and in fits of anger and heated verbal sparring, he'd passionately invoked his desire to see his father's. He had known for a very long time that ungrateful though it may seem, he wouldn't feel much troubled by its eventual occurence. He had assumed that his tears for matters concerning his legacy, his failures as a protege, and his mistreatment were long spent. But grief makes people do uncharacteristic things.

Drinking was probably not helping. When the first salty droplet fell into his brandy, his mind was already a rough sea of happy memories and unhappy reactions, unhappy memories and refreshed anger, unspoken rants and unwritten apologies. All the things that had only just begun to feel far away and over during his time in the South were back, emboldened by the discombobulated nature of a mind altered by drink. The waves crashed into him, and with an ugly wail and a choking breath, the rest of his tears spilled out from behind his eyes.

He crumpled the letter into a tight ball, and threw it across the room with all the force he could muster. Despite the force behind it, the wad of paper bounced off the wall and rolled along the floor with nothing more than a quiet patter. His violent little burst of energy only fueled things further, and then he was slamming a fist into the desk and pushing away the bottle of brandy in order to preserve it from a sudden urge to smash something.

A sob heaved itself from his throat, and he lowered his head into his hands to shake out the rest. Most of his complex feelings of anger and grief were swallowed up by curse words, and he let the colourful stream of them run through his head while his breaths hitched and broke under more sobs.

Taren had never seen Dorian cry. Not even when his voice had cracked and wavered in Redcilffe after confronting his father, not even when he had pulled him in tight and swearing under his breath after their close calls with death, not over anything. In fact, every distressing moment in Dorian's life seemed to be relayed with humour; a well developed mix of sarcasm and bravado. It wasnt that he was insensitive, the man had simply had a lot of practice maintaining his face, and letting that face fall was new and foreign territory. He would no doubt have given Taren a nonchalant explanation of what had happened in a day or two, the emotional impact always something you had to know him to hear. But Taren would. Dorian was a passionate man, and while he was wordy and quick witted, most of what he felt came through in action. He'd throw it all out there like it was nothing, then hold him in a desperate grip and sink his kisses deep into his bones, and that would say everything.

But Dorian wouldn't have that chance. Instead, as he wrestled with his composure with his head bent over the desk, Taren quietly ascended the stairs. Dorian didn't even realise he was there until his hand was on his back, rubbing gentle circles over his shoulder as another shaky breath jostled them up and down.

"Vhenan," his warm voice was quiet in his ear, a soft breath of a word that held so much. Exactly the right thing, and exactly the wrong thing, for it triggered a surprised inhale and an embarrassed crack in his voice as he tried to reply with some assurance that he was fine through the tears.

"What can I..."

Dorian took a few more breaths and rubbed at his eyes, forcing an unconvincing smile and reigning in the display.

"Nohing, Amatus. I'm fine, I'm fine."

Taren didn't move. His hands massaged Dorian's shoulders slowly, and a kiss landed in his hair. "Tell me what happened."

Dorian sighed, and nodded his head to the left just enough to signal Taren to where the crumpled letter sat on the floor. Taren took the few steps across the small room and picked it up. With a cautious look to Dorian first, he undid its folds and smoothed the letter out. He read it slowly, eyes scanning the page and then flicking up to Dorian again with close-knit brows. "Oh," he whispered as he finished taking in the news, "oh, ma vhenan."

This was not their spot up in the library where things were comfortable. Dorian wasn't hunkered down in a cozy little alcove with two comfortable seats and the homey clutter of books and candle stubs and notes, he was bent over a solitary desk, in a small and dim little room at the top of a tower. When Taren returned to his side he tucked himself in at a kneel and took up one of Dorian's hands.

"So, shall we make it quick and painless then?" Dorian asked, forcing another of those smiles that didnt quite make it.

"What?"

"My leaving."

"Dorian," he said it like no.

"Dont tell me you want to draw this out. I dont think I can stomach more crying." Even as he said it, his voice cracked over the words.

Taren sighed, and gave Dorian's hand a solemn squeeze. "I do though," Taren replied, "I love you." Dorian sat up, turning his face reluctantly to Taren's. "I wont make promises for myself. You dont have to do any more crying." He smiled at him, all real, "but if you must leave, I'd like to draw it out for as long as I possibly can."

"Bastard."

Taren chuckled. "It's too soon to point that back at you, isn't it?" A rare moment of pithyness from the Inquisitor. It worked, Taren was almost never anything but achingly sincere, and the surprise of a joke in extremely poor taste jolted Dorian to an actual snort of a laugh.

"Maker, I must look a fool. I've been wishing for this day for years."

Taren frowned. "You're not a fool."

"I kept putting off his letters..." He felt a need to explain something, a reason for the hysterics. "I should have, I should have..."

"Listen to me," Taren was suddenly serious again, taking both his hands and fixing him with a knowing gaze. "Whatever happens, whatever you need, I'm here." Dorian felt his face scrunching up again against his permission. "I love you." Taren said again, every time a lightning bolt. He swallowed, and hid his wretchedness in Taren's shoulder.

He had thought he was done. The fit of shaking and wailing interrupted by the warmth and comfort of Taren's voice, the masking power of a joke, the space enough between thoughts to find some ground to stand on. But as his eyes closed over Taren's shoulder and he felt arms wrap close around him, something else washed over him. Being held somehow made it all better, and all worse. His body convulsed, inhales entering his lungs in jagged chunks, just one bit of air at a time. His eyes left a damp spot in the soft fabric of Taren's thick sweater. Taren's hands pressed firmly into his back, one moving slowly up and down. His own hands clung to the wool of Taren's sweater in tight fists. The shattering breaths grew longer bit by bit, until they were deep and calm again. Taren always smelled a bit like campfire smoke, underneath notes of sea water and fresh pine. He inhaled, buoying himself on the familiar comfort of the embrace until his eyes were truly dry.

When he pulled away Taren had another smile ready for him, though his eyes were wide and full of concern. Dorian responded with a watery smile of his own. He pushed himself away from the desk, his chair sliding roughly on the wood paneled floor, and reached across the desk to retrieve the bottle he'd shoved aside.

"Brandy?" He offered, pouring a finger of it into his glass and tossing it quickly back.

Taren leaned on the desk, still watching him with an affectionate gaze. "Yes," he agreed, "but let's go somewhere else."

Taren rose to his feet and Dorian followed. Before anything, Taren took his hand and pulled him into a kiss. And without ever letting go, he led him away from the tower.

#dragon age #dai #dragon age fanfic #my writing #writing prompts #cw death #dorian pavus #taren lavellan #my ocs #pavellan #hurt/comfort #angst #cw for dealing with the death of shit parents??#heavy shit #and why yes i do need 7000 hugs and am using fic as an outlet #how could you tell?

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clanwarrior-tumbly · 4 years

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Aoi x reader! After Sakura's trial, reader is still mad at Aoi because "did you think I deserved to die, too? I never beared any ill will towards Sakura!" Aoi with tears in her eyes says that she would punsh herself by not eating any donuts until reader would forgive her. Reader is REALLY moved by that, hugs Aoi and says that they forgive her. Then they decide to bear Sakura's legacy together. (drama anon)

“Aoi..you had a lot of nerve doing that to your friends, y’know.”

“Yeah..” The swimmer could only muttered as you two sat in the dining hall together.

A tense and awkward silence lingered in the air as you thought back to Sakura’s trial...where Aoi vehemently accused you and everyone else of pushing her to suicide, despite the fact that wasn’t her intention at all.

She even went as far as claiming she was the culprit--all to get everybody, even herself, punished for treating the late martial artist so cruelly.

You were still bitter about that, feeling hurt she just assumed everyone hated Sakura when she got outed as the spy.

“What you said about me deserving to die, too, really hurt..” You shot a glare at her. “I never had any ill will towards her, not even when she was revealed to be the spy. You gave Monokuma exactly what he wanted...discourse and chaos...and it almost got us all killed.”

“I-I know!” Aoi choked out, tears in her eyes as she sniffled, clutching her head. “I was just..s-so angry and hurt at the time. I never should’ve said those things..it was my fault. I-I know she wouldn’t have wanted this...!” She sobbed a little before managing to pull herself together. “[Y/n]..you don’t have to forgive me, but....a-as punishment for myself....I’m not eating any more donuts. For the rest of my life. I don’t deserve them.”

You blinked in surprise, stunned by her statement. “Aoi..you’re not a monster for lashing out like you did.” Getting out of your seat, you sat in the one next to hers, putting a hand on her back. “I was only saying how I felt now that we aren’t being pressured by the trial anymore. You don’t have to punish yourself-”

“N-No, it’s okay..I honestly lost my appetite for them-?!”

She was surprised when you suddenly brought her into a hug. Even though you wanted to speak your mind..you still felt guilty for making her feel this awful that she’d reject her comfort food.

It’s like she told you...anger, hurt, and grief took over during the trial. She lost a close friend like everyone did here, so you couldn’t be mad at her for lashing out--even if it nearly got you killed.

“I forgive you.” You sighed, pulling away but still keeping your hands on her shoulders as you gazed at her. “We’re all hurt..and we’ve all done things we shouldn’t have. It’s gonna happen again but..we can’t let this tear us apart. We have to look out for each other...it’s what Sakura would want, right? That was her dying wish.”

Aoi could only nod, a watery smile gracing her lips as she laughed softly and hugged you this time. The tears flowed freely down her face. “Y-Yeah..we..we need to honor that..thank you.”

“And I’m sure she’d want you to keep munching on donuts, too.” You chuckled, happy that you two finally made up.

#clanask #anonymous #danganronpa x reader #thh #aoi asahina #aoi asahina x reader #tw suicide mention #hurt/comfort #angst

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lena-in-a-red-dress · 5 years

Text

Legacy is a Lonely Color [a post 5x11 ficlet]

If there is one person Lena would least expect to see standing on her balcony, it's Winslow Schott.

She'd seen the news about the Toyman, and admittedly felt a pang of regret that the shift in reality had so ill-served such a bright personality. But the man on her balcony doesn't have the manic glee Lena glimpsed in the news footage. Instead, the smile that greets her with a small wave is calm, his gaze steady as he regards her through the glass.

Curiosity spurs Lena to open the door, though she can imagine what has brought a Legionnaire to her doorstep.

"Good to see you're not insane," she greets as Winn steps inside her office. "Or should I be worried about any cymbal-clapping monkeys rolling around here?"

"Har har," he retorts. He turns towards her as though reaching for a friendly hug, but stops short when Lena stiffens and turns away. He diverts his intention by sucking in a deep breath. "Nope, no murderous monkeys this time. But if you're interested, I know a guy."

He clicks his tongue with a wink and a pair of finger guns, and Lena fails to keep a smile from pulling at her lips. Mutual grins linger between them for a long moment, before Winn's fades and Lena remembers herself.

"What are you doing, Lena?"

Lena folds her arms stiffly across her chest, jaw clenching as she squares her shoulders against the accusation that falls softly in the evening shadows.

"Excuse me?"

"Non Nocere? J'onn showed me what almost happened, and Lena-- this is not the way."

Leveling her very best Luthor glare at the Legionnaire. "I'm curious, Agent Schott... do I miraculously survive into the 23rd century?"

Winn blinks, his features scrunching in confusion. "Um-- no...?"

"Then I'm curious as to when we became friends enough that you can presume to know anything about me."

To her surprise, Winn only smiles, even as he ducks his head as though to hide it. "No... I know. We're not friends. In fact it's really my only true regret about going with the Legion."

Lena doesn't understand. Despite the high-octane circumstances of thor previous encounters, they never became personal. Perhaps, over time, they could have been true friends, but Winn had been long gone before Lena was admitted so deep into Kara's circle.

Sensing her confusion, Winn continues.

"Yeah, turns out when people in the future know you used to hang with the OG Supergirl, they want to know everything. Including what you know about her brilliant and beautiful best friend Lena Luthor."

Lena scowls. "Your future has its details wrong. We're not friends."

Winn's lips pull into a grimace. "Yeah. I heard that too."

"If this is some kind of ploy for me to--"

"Kara doesn't know I'm here. She's not that kind of person."

Resentment coils in its nest, deep in her chest. Lena's fingers tighten painfully on her biceps. "Well, I'm sure you have reason to believe that."

Winn's lips pinch together, but he moves on. "Anyway, my point is that those guys knew more about you than I did. And the more I learned trying to catch up, the more I wished I'd made more of an effort to know you when I had the chance. I mean, I always knew I liked you-- you're AWESOME-- but I didn't realize just how much."

Lena shakes her head. She's had enough lip service to last her a lifetime, anf she has no interest in empty words from Kara's closest friend--let alone one who doesn't look like he'll be abandoning the future to rectify the situation. "We're both intelligent people, Mr. Schott. We both know you're not here to learn my favorite color and braid my hair. And knowing your history with Supergirl and her friends, I'm going to cut to the chase: there's nothing you can say to me tonight or two hundred years from now that will convince me to trust her again." She is done giving second chances. She is done offering her heart to others and having it returned to her in pieces. But Winn regards Lena with a smile that rests on his features with a maturity she doesn't remember seeing before. "The only person you need to trust again is yourself." A jolt arcs clean through Lena's core. It takes all her control not to recoil from the soft accusation, but Winn must see the reflexive flinch, because the next thing she knows, warm hands take her by the shoulders. Somehow the soft touch lays her bare, slicing through the bubble that's surrounded her since the night she killed her brother. Tears spring unbidden to her eyes. "No one can survive as an island. Not even the great Lena Luthor." Winn's own smile turns damp, even as it broadens. "El mayarah." Just like that, Lena's defenses snap back up. She blinks away her sudden emotion, scoffing. "Another load of--" Winn interrupts her curse. "Stronger together isn't just Supergirl's motto," he tells her. "It's L-Corp's too." Lena freezes. L-Corp? That means-- she stares at Winn in question, but he doesn't elaborate. "Non Nocere is not your legacy." He says it with such certainty that Lena can't find any protest within her. "Trust yourself," Winn says, "and you will find your way. Whether or not that way lies with Supergirl is up to you. But if you abandon yourself... you'll be lost forever." She's already lost. Lena knows it, however much she tries to deny. Non Nocere was as much about DOING something as it was about fixing something. It's all the more clear now that her company is Lex's again and she has absolutely nothing to show for the last four years of her life. But maybe it's not gone for good. Maybe Lena has a future ahead of her after all. And now she has a direction in how to get there. "It was good to see you." Winn pulls away, and backs up towards the balcony. When he floats to step onto the rail of the balcony, Lena calls out. "Winn." He pauses, pivoting to face her recklessly enough to make Lena's heart lurch in alarm. She swallows it down, though, and focuses on him rather than the drop at his heels. "Are you really not going to ask why I have the interface cube from your ship?" He's got to have noticed it missing by now. But his eyebrows lift indiscernably. "Do you really think I wouldn't know a piece of 23rd century tech when I see it?" Winn affects an innocent shrug. "I don't know what you're talking about." Leaning against the doorframe, Lena folds her arms with a smirk of her own. "I think I would have liked to know you too, Mr. Schott." Her confession earns a grin, and another wink. "Catch you around, Miss Luthor." With that, Winn spreads his arms wide and simply tips himself backwards, plunging into empty space. Just as a cry catches in Lena's throat, his head pops back into view, gleeful and giggling. "I've always wanted to do that!" And there goes Earth's very own Legionnaire, zooming up towards the cloud covered sky. Lena watches him go, her thoughts racing as swiftly as he flies. In the days that follow, his words continue tumble about Lena's brain. She weighs them carefully, lets them lead down a multitude of potential paths until she settles on the one that suits her best. It's risky, with a high probabilty of failure, but alternatives leave her with more certain, but less favorable outcomes. And there is always one way she can up her odds. She bites the bullet late one evening and knocks loudly on a beige metal door on the rent-controlled side of down. The sound is almost lost in the laughter she can hear from within, but in just a few moments the knob turns and the door opens to reveal Kara Danvers gaping on the other side. "Lena!" she blurts, cheeks flushing. "You're here!" Lena shrugs. "Well, it is second-friday." Game night. Kara steps aside, and Lena deigns to step inside. As she does she, she casts a cursory glance across the stunned faces staring at her. Only Brainy seems to be missing, but his seat is filled neatly by Winn, whose eyes crinkle behind a disguise of glasses and nothing else. Her own seat has been comandeered by William Dey, who regards her with a stare that feels particularly loathsome. Reflexively, Lena does the math since his arrival in National City, and has to swallow the scoff that scrapes up her throat. Kara invites a coworker she hates in a third of the time it took Lena to earn her inclusion. It doesn't surprise Lena. Not now. "Don't worry," she delivers, half to Kara and half to the staring audience. "I'm not here to participate. Not that you're low on numbers." Kara comes even with her, eyes wide and unblinking, as though Lena might disappear in an instant. "Then... why are you here?" she asks. "Is everything okay?" "No," Lena clips shortly. She revels in the flinch she earns. Nothing is okay. Kara knows that. "H-how can we help?" Kara stammers. "You can't. I have a job for Supergirl." William Dey, of all people, is the first to react. "Supergirl doesn't answer to Luthors," he declares, rising to his feet. Before Lena rolls her own eyes, she notes a flash of irritation that travels across Kara's features. Perhaps she still has some spine after all. "The salary we issue to her direct deposit every month says otherwise," Lena drawls. "And I fail to recall where you were invited into the conversation, Mr. Dey." "I'd be happy to relay a message," Kara interjects before Dey could fire back. "What can I tell her?" Lena tilts her head towards Dey. "I'm afraid it's personal." Kara adjusts her glasses. "Oh, um-- I trust him." "That means nothing to me." Again, Lena revels in the way Kara jerks under the pointed barb, cheeks flushing. Lena almost hopes Kara will tell her to fuck off. Having Supergirl's assistance would make her work easier, but she doesn't exactly enjoy the thought of spending the time with her either. In the end, Kara turns to the rest of the room. "We're calling it an early night," she says. "Sorry, William." "You don't have to drop everything just because she--" "Welp, I'm pooped anyway," Nia announces, climbing her feet. "Next time I'm gonna have to take a nap before game night. Really takes it out of you, huh?" "Right," Winn nods. He claps Dey on the shoulder. "Come on, man. There's probably still time to catch a taxi." Nia feigns a bathroom break, giving her a reason to linger as Winn guides Dey out the door. Lena ignores the glare the reporter levels at her on his way out, focusing instead on the way Alex kisses Kelly goodbye and promises to be home as soon as she can. Soon it's only Alex and Kara left. Nia emerges as soon as Dey leaves, and a few minutes later Winn re-enters through Kara's open window. This time, when Lena turns her gaze back to Kara, she finds Supergirl gazing back at her. She's still in civilian clothing, her hair still twisted up like Kara Danvers', but it's the hero whose eyes lock on her, a large presence even as she regards Lena with a gaze that isn't anywhere near accusatory. Interesting. "What do you need?" Supergirl asks. Lena recenters herself with a silent, fortifying breath. "Lex. He's planning something, and I intend to stop him. And I will, with or without your help, but it would be faster with more bodies." She looks at the people who lied to her for years, held her at arm's length even as they made a show of embracing her. She doesn't need them, but to reclaim her legacy, Lena's willing to invite them in. If only enough to remove her brother from the field of play. "Who's interested?"

#sg spoilers #legacy is a lonely color #angst #brotp #lena and winn #titles are hard #reveal fallout

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simgerale · 4 years

Photo

i’ve been thinking... and like always when i take a break from the branham’s, i always want to go back to them. iza and jackie’s story will not be visually finished on my blog, but i can tell you all what i had (unnecessarily) planned! these two will come back to simgerale.tumblr.com next generation of my legacy, however long that may take (^:

warning: this is VERY long!!! 💜 if you don’t want to know what happens to the girlies, you can scroll along :*

the alien girl tells jackie that she could have learned more than their language by the lip contact, but chose not to. this was semi-comforting to jackie

she then goes on to reveal she was 15 when she was taken from her planet (so it’s been 3 years), which makes her sad to think about. jackie asks her what her name is to distract her-- she smiles, “I am Iza Exu... Thank you for being interested in who I am.”

jackie eventually has to go back to work or get fired, so she leaves angie (jackie’s little sister) and iza to babysit each other... it goes surprisingly well. their bond started from sharing a bag of chips!

they all carve pumpkins together and iza is sad about hers looking dopey, but jackie laughs and compliments her beginner skills. iza is growing fonder of her new friends

iza started walking angie home after school so jackie could go to work. she got the hang of the streets pretty fast. she usually had to wait for angie with other parents, and everyone would look at her weird.

this one lady in particular knew of iza’s planet (she worked in immigration) and informed iza that her people stopped immigrating about 2 years prior because of accusations of humans abducting alien children. the lady was going to ask if she was possibly a victim of that circumstance when angie ran out--and the conversation ended.

iza ends up telling jackie that night what she learned, and jackie pressed a little further. it was the most she had heard iza talk about her abduction. iza ends up questioning why people look at her weird, why she is not welcome on this planet, is she not desirable enough? "iza, you're beyond desirable. humans can just be... cruel sometimes." iza smiles, "then you cannot be human, jackie."

a few nights later, jackie finds iza on the roof looking for her planet amidst the stars. jackie calls up at her, and iza floats down from the roof and apologizes for worrying her. jackie questions the floating part, and iza explains she’s always been able--she just wanted to feel the ground beneath her feet after years in that lab. "i learn something new about you every day, iza." "is that not a good thing?" "it's the best thing."

angie and iza end up talking about the working mother of the red-headed girls and how she is visiting for halloween. iza reminisces about her own mother, back on her home planet. angie hugs iza, "don't worry, iza. if...if you really want to leave, i know jackie would help you." "thank you, my angie. you both make me want to stay."

jackie falls ill from too much stress, not enough sleep, lack of caring for herself, all that jazz. iza ends up taking care of her for the 2 days she is bed-ridden, and when jackie finally awakens, iza starts crying and expressing her concern that she thought she’d never wake up, that she’d have to tell angie she was lying when she said that her sister would be okay. jackie tries comforting her and pulls iza into a weak hug.

bit by bit, they learn more about each other. likes, dislikes, childhood memories, the such. they even have inside jokes now.

some time passes, and halloween arrives! iza wakes up to giddy screams from angie and walks out to see a very weary woman who looks just like jackie but with short hair, wrinkles, and a pin-striped business suit. the woman is shocked to see an alien in her living room, and angie quickly tries to explain. she didn’t do such a good job, and jackie finally tells her mother what she needs to know.

i didn’t write anything past this part, but i planned on the mother having to spend her weekend home arranging for her friend to meet iza. this friend is the lady who works in immigration. jackie refuses to leave iza’s side as she tells her story of what happened, afraid they would try and deport her. the immigration worker wasn’t evil, though--she wanted retribution for what was done to iza and numerous children from Zuli (her home planet).

jackie’s mother ends up having to go back to work, trusting her friend to get iza’s situation under control. before the woman leaves, jackie lets out all the pent up feelings she has (after getting encouragement from iza) about this workaholic lifestyle she burdened her kids with. the mother leaves after an emotional hug and a promise to fix things.

iza then has to make the hard decision of going back to her home planet or making a home here, with jackie and angie.

after lots of crying and talks with jackie, iza decides she needs to go to Zuli. she has to see her family, even if that means leaving her new one behind.

a long and sad departure took place, where jackie ends up walking iza to the platform for a personal goodbye. jackie says she wants iza to know more about her before she leaves, and places her lips gently onto the blue girl’s lips. iza flutters her eyes close and learns more about the red-head, from flashes of her childhood to past friendships to moments of despair to... what’s this? an undeniable warmth fills iza’s chest as she understands why jackie is pulling iza close...

iza ends up getting onto the ship with tears in her eyes.

months later, jackie lays on her roof, staring at the stars. she regrets not asking what Zuli looked like in their sky. then she hears a soft voice behind her saying, “what are you looking for?”

it’s iza! surprise! she came back! jackie ends up engulfing iza in a hug, expressing how she never thought she’d see her again. iza explains that she could not go through another time isolated from those she cared about. jackie kisses iza’s forehead and leads her to the ladder.

THE END! I’M SO SORRY i wrote too much

#haven #summary #TLDR: iza gets the opportunity to go back home after bonding with jackie and angie #jackie develops some romantic interest in her though which makes the departure sadder #months later iza comes back to live with them! and they live happily ever after #could've just said that huh #i just didn't want you guys to think i hadn't thought the story through enough.. lol #now you see i OVERTHOUGHT it

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queenof-literature · 4 years

Text

A Sick Wild Child - Chapter 4

Warning: Vomiting and Panic Attack

Wild belonged with nature, it was in his name. He loved the rustling of the leaves, the singing of the grass, the - oh, someone was calling his name.

“Wild! How many times do I need to call your damn name?” Time snapped, and Wild realized he was only inches away from his face. He took a tiny step back in fear and confusion. Time almost never cussed...

“Wild get your head out of your ass and pay attention!” Wild looked back up to see Twilight beside Time, glaring at him.

“U-um I’m s-s-sorry.” Wild stuttered out, hand twitching to lift his hood over his head and shrink within it.

“O-oh? Y-y-you’re s-s-s-sorry?” Legend mocked in a high pitched voice. The rest of the group chuckled while Wild flushed and finally pulled his hood up. They knew he didn’t like it when he stuttered out words. The scars on his neck made it hard to talk sometimes, especially when he was nervous, they knew this. They had never made fun of him like this. Why the sudden change of pace? And whose Hyrule were they in? Wild thought they were in his but he recognized nothing.

“Hylia you’re such a fucking coward Wild.” Warriors scoffed and rolled his eyes. “You can’t even handle a little teasing.” Now that one stung. Wild looked up to Warriors in many ways. They were both trained knights, and Warriors became a captain at such a young age. He had conquered armies, learned from his mistakes and moved on, and had saved his friends...

“Hello? Wild? What the hell is wrong with you today?” Wind snapped up at him. That was certainly odd, Wind was very expressive, but it took a lot to get him to show his anger. Oh, Hylia, what had Wild done to piss off even Wind of all people? Why did he always have to mess everything up?

Wild felt his throat close up, and raised shaky hands to try to apologize once more. But the rest of the group only seemed to laugh and continue mocking him relentlessly for not even talking anymore. He couldn’t breathe. His vision was blurring and the trees were spinning around him. Distantly he could recognize that this was a panic attack, but all he felt now were the glares and mocking calls of the group around them.

A hand poked Wild’s shoulder and he lashed out without even thinking, wildly shoving away what his muddled brain could barely recognize as Hyrule, who stumbled and landed on his back with a look of surprise that quickly turned to anger. Oh no.

“What the fuck, Wild?” Hyrule yelled in outrage, as Four helped him up, also glaring at the scarred teen. Hands grabbed his arms and Wild fought against them, kicking and bucking away from them. A sharp jab to his stomach had him lose all the breath in his body and collapse to the ground. He saw the strong build of Twilight through blurry eyes filled with tears.

“The fuck did you do that for you little freak?” Twilight was a lot bigger than Wild, and it was situations like this that reminded him of how intimidating he could be. “You do that shit to Hyrule after we let you travel with us? A mission from Hylia or not we should have left your broken body in your ruined Hyrule where it belongs. On second thought, your Zelda doesn’t deserve to put up with your fractured pieces. How about you just stay in this Hyrule and die? It’s what you deserve.”

“Twilight is right.” Sky stated, normally gentle voice stiff and emotionless, “I forged the Master Sword only for you to come by and disgrace its legacy.” Sky began to walk away, along with some others in the group.

Panic filled Wild. They couldn’t leave him. He could do better! He would never talk again if that’s what they wanted. He didn’t want to be stuck in an unfamiliar Hyrule forever. Not again. He couldn't get left behind again. No matter how selfish it was, Wild wanted to stay with them. Wild needed to stay with them. He thrashed to get out of the hold he was in. He thought they were his family. Was a family supposed to treat you like this? Is this tough love? Wild didn’t know but he wanted to. He wanted to keep traveling with them. He thought he could hear voices calling his name, but Wild couldn’t breathe. Soon it all faded to black.

The morning passed with smaller amounts of chatting than usual. Four was making simple omelets for the group and seemed to be arguing with himself in a quiet murmur over how long to cook the eggs for. Sky and Warriors were playing cards with Wind, who was definitely cheating in some way or another. Legend and Hyrule were content with just watching and seeing how long it took for him to get caught. And Twilight and Time were whispering and glancing at Wild, who had his head cradled in Twilight’s lap.

Wild seemed to be twitching and murmuring in his sleep. His face looked troubled, fingers clenching and unclenching at Twilight’s pelt, breaths coming at an uneven pace.

“Is he having trouble breathing again?” Legend called out from the tree he was leaning against. “Yes, but we don’t think it’s the sickness.” Time called back. He sounded gruff, but the rest of the group could hear concern lacing his voice. The group put away their cards and crowded around the three as close as they could without scaring Wild if he woke up.

“‘M sr’y.” Wild let out in a pitiful moan.

“Sorry for what cub?” Twilight leaned down and brushed Wild’s hair out of his face. But it only continued like that.

“‘M sr’y.”

“Don’ leav’.”

“I kno’ ‘m broken.”

“I’ll do better.”

“Promise.”

“‘M sr’y.”

The entire group could only feel the grip of horror wash in as they heard their little wild child begging not to be left behind. Wild has always had abandonment issues he tried to hide, though it was obvious to those who knew him. Nervous eyes always darted around camp whenever he went to sleep, worrying that when he woke up they would all be gone. It broke all of their hearts, and they all tried to help their own ways.

Time by being a solid rock of advice and encouragement.

Twilight by giving him warm hugs when he could handle it.

Warriors by telling him stories, either of his epic tales or silly exploits in the taverns.

Legend by teaching him of his many items (And letting him use them when no one else watching).

Hyrule by taking them exploring with no map.

Wind by teaching him sea shanties.

Sky by letting him sit near his napping place and simply exist in comfortable silence.

Four by telling him jokes in the back of the group some days, which ranged from lighthearted and goofy to teasing and full of fire.

All of them tried to show Wild that they were there and never leaving and giving him pieces of themselves for him to keep close. To hear him talk the way he was, broke every single one of them.

“Shh Cub it’s okay, you're okay, you’re safe. I’m right here.” Twilight lifted up Wild and cradled him to his chest. Wild started to struggle, hands lifting to clutch and scratch the scars on his neck and face, the way he did when he was having a panic attack. Out of pure experience, Four grabbed Wild’s hands as gently as he could and held them to his chest, exaggerating his breathing while hoping Wild would subconsciously follow it. Wild didn’t like to be restrained, but if they let him he would keep scratching until he bled. They sadly had a lot of individual experience with Wild's attacks. He would apologize and go silent every time, feeling like a burden, but that was getting slightly better as time went on.

“Wild, wake up Cub it’s just a dream. Wild, c’mon buddy.” Time spoke as he rested his hand against Wild’s forehead to give him something else to anchor him. Wild was completely sobbing and delusional at this point. Repeating the phrases under his breath and struggling and thrashing out of their hold. He was apologizing to every single one of them by name in a slurred voice.

“Wind get me a cloth soaked in cold water please.” Hyrule spoke, not taking his eyes off of Wild. Wind, although obviously hesitant to leave his friend’s side, dashed off without complaint. Meanwhile Twilight was still talking into Wild’s ear, desperately hoping that he could hear it through his nightmare.

When Wind came back with the cloth, Hyrule began to wash Wild’s face without wringing it out. They needed to shock Wild awake, but Hyrule didn’t want to be as harsh as a slap or a bucket of water when they had other options on hand. Wild gasped and jolted awake, teary eyes looking all over the group, then back up to meet Twilight’s.

“Hey, buddy.” Twilight said softly. And with that, Wild once again started sobbing, still slightly delirious from his infection.

“Don’t leave Twi. I know I’m broken but I’ll do better. I promise!” Wild dug deeper into Twilight’s chest as he began repeating the same things he had in his sleep.

“You are not broken.” Time said sternly. “Nothing about you or your adventure makes you broken.”

“Wild you’re one of the bravest people I know.” Wind stated quietly. Wind loved the older boy and their adventures together, he hated to see him suffering like this. He had suffered so much and Wind just wanted him to be happy.

Wild continued to sob into Twilight’s chest, which was obviously only agitating his bruises and illness. Twilight continued shushing him and rubbing soothing circles into his back, but the sobs wouldn’t die down. Unfortunately, Twilight could tell where this was going.

“Warriors! Bucket!” Twilight commanded. Warriors darted off to get the bucket Legend had brought out for Wild just in case extreme nausea came with his infection. Just in time, Warriors got the bucket under Wild’s chin.

Wild began heaving and hacking all of the contents of his stomach into the bucket, which wasn’t much after not eating breakfast. Even after all of his dinner from last night had come up, his body continued spasming as Wild dry heaved.

Warriors winced, he knew how painful throwing up was, especially after there was nothing left. Warriors grabbed Wild’s hair, much of it out of his ponytail at this point, and held it away from his face as Twilight whispered calming words into Wild’s ear.

Eventually, Wild’s body finally stopped, his dry heaving turning into small spasms and his sobs turning into hiccups. He kept apologizing under his breath for unknown reasons, though Time figured now it was for throwing up.

Legend took the washcloth from Hyrule, who didn’t like being anywhere near throw up, and gently cleaned Wild’s face. Twilight went to lay Wild back down on his bedroll, but the teen whined and burrowed into Twilight’s chest once more, still wrapped in Twilight’s fur pelt. Time chuckled and discreetly gave Wind a look to take a pictograph.

“We’ll have to talk to him about his dream when he’s more awake.” Sky stated sadly. The rest of the group didn’t want to mention how horrifying that had been for them, let alone how horrifying it must have been for Wild.

“Yeah, I know.” Twilight looked down at his cub’s flushed face with tear tracks staining his cheeks. This was going to be a long day.

#linked universe #wild #breath of the wild #wind #time #legend #twilight #sky #four #hyrule #Warriors #sickfic #sick #A Sick Wild Child #queenof-literature story #QoL Story

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penroseparticle · 4 years

Note

4, 15, 25, 38, 51, 69, 76, 83, 94, 108, 116, 122, 136, 149 + 150

4: 3 things I love

Summer evening naps, with a breeze and the window open, some light music playing, and it’s cool enough for a throw blanket from the couch. The most peaceful time in the world.

Stomping off snow from your boots, and being handed a bowl of steaming, hearty soup before you even take your jacket off. You hold the soup in your hands like a handwarmer and smell that homemade, lovingly crafted sign of care. When you finally eat, the soup is delicious.

bubblebaths, man. Just bubblebaths.

15: Favourite quote

I actually collect quotes! There was a dog tag engraver at the local Walmart back home in Indiana and I’d spend 5 bucks and get a quote engraved in one every few weeks. I must have like 40 of them. I stopped because the machines are harder to find now but I might start again. I love quotes. I fished one out of the pile and it’s:

“We become what we pretend to be. So we must be careful what we pretend to be” by Kurt Vonnegut. Aka the fake it til you make it mantra or how I turned into a positive person.

25: Ever done a prank call?

I haven’t done a prank call, but I have gone through a drive thru when I knew my friend was working and pretended to be a difficult customer. She thought it was funny. She returned the favor once and I poured her drink out onto the pavement. Sometimes I miss McDonalds but usually I know better

38: Do I and my last ex hate each other?

We don’t! I don’t speak with him though as he lives in like, Minnesota now? But I checked his facebook the other day he seems good.

51: When was the last time I hugged someone?

I used to hug people all the time- I’m a very tactile person, I love hugs and physical affection. Holding hands, carding through hair, etc.

It must have been on Friday- there were some friends over for Christmas, and I got to hug them. It was nice.

I don’t hug people often enough.

69: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had?

I believe it was when I simultaneously broke my big toe on one foot and my heelbone on the other? Bad times for walking. My ankle still pops in and out sometimes!

76: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?

Doo Wop (That Thing) by Ms. Lauryn Hill. A classic slam dunk. It makes me happy because it reminds me of when I was little, it’s a jam of a song, and my mom loves Lauryn Hill.

83: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power?

Healing powers. The power to heal injuries and illnesses. It’s the only superpower I’ve ever wanted. Just classic, DnD style I can fix that healing spells.

94: Left the house without my wallet?

Constantly. Last night I left work, locked the door, and realized I left my phone charging in my office. I had to sneak back in and set off the alarm =/

108: Been outside my home country?

Sadly only been to the US, and only to like 20 states. But I’d like to travel more!

116: What concerts have I been to?

Hmm... 21 Pilots (twice), Betty Who (4 times), Caravan Palace (twice), Dorothy, Reptar, LIzzo, Billie Eilish, Troye Sivan, NOT 21 Savage because I was too busy getting a friend laid, Wallows, Jimmy Eat World (twice), Silver Sun Pickups, Oh Wonder (Twice), Broods, Young the Giant, Glass Animals, Arctic Monkeys, a few other people. I don’t have a comprehensive list but most of these stick out as good memories.

I was SUPPOSED to see Halsey and someone else this year, but like... yeah. Plus, who knows what concerts I would have gone to on a whim!

122: Dyed my hair?

Once, very poorly, with box dye. It went poorly. I dyed it red for Caps playoffs and looked terrible.

I kind of want to dye it again though. Maybe silver or some light blue color?

136: Do I like my handwriting?

I have doctor handwriting, aka it’s terrible. It has charm though!

149: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me

One time when I was working as a diner line cook, one of the waitresses told me a sweet little old lady in the dining room asked her if she could “Ask the nice white cook” to make her food. I don’t think I’ll ever forget that.

150: What I’d do if I won in a lottery

Boring but practical: Pay off my bills and loans, pay off the bills and loans of my loved ones, invest in my local community, and buy a place in DC so I never have to worry about renting again. Buy a motorcycle, and get enough magic cards to be able to play Vintage and Legacy. After that, give back as much as I can.

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musesofolive · 4 years

Text

Stories of Our Childhood

@theoneandonlymagiscientist see I’m capable of writing fluff! I promise!

“But that’s not where the economics section used to be!”

“Lady Erika, I’m sorry you were left unaware about the changes made to the library, but those books no longer reside in that area. If you would just follow me to where the economics section is now-”

“But why has it changed? There was no reason for it!”

Riley could feel his eye twitch as he heard the noble woman ask why they changed the libraries arrangements for the fifth time in the last twenty minutes. Between this absolutely grating conversation and several others like it with the other nobles of Katolis, he was about to consider murder as a valid option of dealing with them all. However, before he could actually go through with that plan, Erika let out a shriek.

Down near her feet was a silver snake, winding it’s way around her leg. She screamed louder, shaking it off and making a dash for the library exit. A confused expression made its way on his face as he picked it up. It was...metal. There was only one way a snake like that made it’s way in here and he held back a laugh as he heard the culprit running down the aisle.

Claudia grabbed the snake from his hands, panting slightly, as she made it reattach to her wrist in bracelet fashion. “Sorry about that! I’m still getting used to that catch and release spell.” She smiled awkwardly, letting out a small laugh that Riley had come to know as her ‘I’m hiding something’ laugh.

Which was obvious even without that tell. The girl wasn’t the greatest at lying, Riley had seen her maneuver her metal snake with ease multiple times, she wasn’t having trouble with it at all. She had just seen him struggling and decided to help him out. He gave her a grateful smirk. “There’s nothing to apologize for, dark magic seems very finicky.” He assured her with a playful wink to show he knew her true intentions, before bowing. “It’s a pleasure to see you, Miss Claudia. Is there anything I can get for you this fine afternoon?”

She shook her head. “Oh, no, I’m just grabbing Love Amongst the Dragons again. It’s been a while since I’ve read it, y’know?” The young mage was already making her way to where she knew it was, grabbing it out of its spot.

Riley nodded, it did seem to be her favorite. It had only been a year into his position, but he saw her reading through it once every few months. “I can understand loving a good story, yes. If I may ask, why do you read it so often?” He asked in a curious tone as he walked with her. She was heading to the exit and his desk was nearby, so they had the time to chat.

Claudia was quiet for a moment, drumming her fingers along the back of the book in thought. “It’s a great story overall, really! How the love interests come together and fall in love is always amazing. But, it mainly was one of my mom’s favorite reads. She’d read it to me and Soren before bed, so I took on reading it,” she admitted quietly.

The blond had heard of the children’s mother, though had never met the woman in person. But from what he had heard, she divorced Viren after one too many arguments and left for her hometown, leaving her children in the High mage’s hands. He made an attempt at a comforting smile, though these sorts of emotions weren’t exactly his strong suit. When he had asked why, he figured he was going to get one of Claudia’s usual excitable tangents that made very little sense, not a sad coping mechanism. “A wonderful reason to get attached to it, then.” He made a pause, going over whether or not it was wise to reveal any personal information. But, this was a kid, there wouldn’t be any harm to letting one personal story slip. “You know, when I was a child, my parents were story-tellers. They told a wide variety, from cautionary tales to adventures, but there was one story they told that was always my favorite. Would you like to hear it?” He offered, gesturing to one of the more open parts of the library where there tables and chairs.

Her eyes lit up in curiosity and she nodded, making her way over to sit.

Riley joined her not long after, settling himself into the chair across from her with a grin. “Now, my parents usually used puppets in their stories, so you’ll have to forgive me for my lack of visuals,” he joked lightly before actually telling the tale. He recounted the tale of a couple who were about to have a baby. But, as the time came closer for the baby to be born, the mother had fallen ill and was only getting worse. Doctors told her she was to die before she could even give birth, and the couple was desperate, until a sorceress came across their path. She offered a cure that would save the mother and the baby, but the sorceress was to get the baby in return. For she could not have children of her own and she wished to have someone to pass on her legacy. The couple protested at first, not wanting to lose their child. But the sorceress argued that they wouldn’t just be losing the baby without her cure, so they agreed.

The sorceress healed her, and the mother gave birth to a beautiful girl. The mother held her tightly in her arms and kissed her forehead, before holding up her end of the agreement and passing her to the sorceress. Ten years went by as the little girl was raised in the ways of magic, learning many spells. Barriers, fire spells, healing, the girl learned them all from the sorceress. But despite all that she had shown her, the sorceress could not show her love. She loved the little girl fiercely for the student she had grown to be, but she could not show her the love of a mother, for she had been cursed by another to be incapable of such feelings. However, she couldn’t believe this curse to be true, and determined to prove it wrong, had set out to get herself a child, which is how she ended up with the girl. But no matter how hard she tried to give this little girl the motherly connection she desperately seemed to need, she could not.

It infuriated the sorceress, making her grow bitter, and in her anger one night told her that she was not her true mother and that she had other parents. The information rattled the little girl, almost not wanting to believe it. The sorceress was one of few people who had shown her true kindness and patience. She seemed to love her like a mother should. The first year of knowing this, she did nothing about it. As far as she was convinced, that was not her family, they gave her up. Though as time wore on and the sorceress retreated further into her own anguish, the girl’s curiosity grew. One night, she snuck out, casting a spell that would lead her to her parents.

She travelled for days through the forest, though it didn’t scare her. She knew its tricks and had befriended many animals in the past. Eventually, she reached the house, and knocked on the door. Her father opened it and dropped to his knees as she told him who she was. He called for his wife to hear the news and they hugged the little girl tightly, in a way she had never received from the sorceress. They brought her into the home, asking her questions, as well as answering hers. Their time together was merry and light, and felt strangely right to the little girl. It felt exactly like what she had been missing with the sorceress.

However, after about a month, their time was interrupted as the sorceress burst down the door to their home, demanding that the little girl be returned to her. The parents refused, they couldn’t bring themselves to have another child, not after they had lost the little girl. Now that they had her back, they were not letting her go. The sorceress screamed back that they had put in no effort or care to raise her like she did and that they had no right to take her from her true mother.

It was the little girl who settled the matter, stepping in between them. She looked at the sorceress fondly, thanking her for the years of raising her and all that she had taught her, and knew that the sorceress loved her, for the little girl loved her too. Then, she explained that despite that love, she needed to stay with her parents. They gave her a love that no matter how hard the sorceress tried, she couldn’t fill. The sorceress, though heartbroken, respected the decision, hugging her tight, and gave her a teary smile as the little girl promised to come back and visit her.

“And she stayed true to that promise, and was happier for it in the end,” Riley finished with a satisfied smile. It seemed that story could still tug on his heart strings, even at his age.

Claudia was silent for a moment, seeming to process the last of it, before looking at him with a bright smile. “That was beautiful, Mr. Ginerisy. Normally those kinds of stories end up demonizing one or the other and force the kid to pick, but... she didn’t have to.” She commented thoughtfully as the last of the sun’s rays hit her in the eyes. It reminded her of something and she stood up. “Dad, spell, before dinner! I forgot!” Her hands went to smooth down her skirts and started her way towards the door, though stopping to look back at him. “Thanks for the story, really. It made me feel a lot better, see you around, Mr. Ginerisy!”

He waved to her with a chuckle as she passed through the doors. “See you later kid,” he called out just as she disappeared. A small sigh left his lips as he let his head tilt back against the chair, staring up at the ceiling. There was a light feeling in his chest when he heard those words. It was just a story, did it really make her feel better?

He laughed again as he ran a hand through his hair. Since when did he get so soft about a kid?

...Oh well, maybe being soft about that wasn’t all that bad.

#Olive writes #musings #Riley #apparently his last name is Ginerisy in his Katolis alias #Claudia #fluff #there #see #I'm capable!#It took me the entire day to write this but I can do it!!

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