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#and the lack of focus and thoughts doesnt help
kargaroc · 4 months
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you know the stories of people turning to dragons because of greed? they become dull-minded, stuck in one place, figuratively and almost literally, usually not being able, or wanting to, move very far
it just kinda reminds me of what happened to me, I guess you can call the incitement a sort of greed, reverse-greed? being overburdened by life, being pushed hard, obsessively focusing on progress, to the point of a break, and then being punished for it
my mind is dull, I am stuck, it is harder to pass as a normal human, can't mask, solitary and sedentary despite wanting to not be that way
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im-smart-i-swear · 1 year
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Does Jiro has ghost like abilities (possession, ability to levitate things, etc etc) or does she just live in Shiro's head?
when i created this au, i thought the best option would be for her to be unable to interact with the physical world in any way(including possesion), beacuse i really wanted to lean into her isolation and how it affects her....... and while thats something i still want to emphasise here, lately ive been toying with the idea of jiro being able to impact the physical world somehow(though it still being fairly limited). i think letting her have some control could have a lot of potential! buuuut i also have no idea what abilities i want her to have lol
For now i think im not gonna give her any telekinetic abilities, bc i feel like it would be giving her too much power......... if she could throw shit, shed go APESHIT with it. it would made things too easy for her. i'm sorry babygirl but i'm NOT giving you the possibilty to throw knives and other sharp objects, i dont trust you to not kill someone:/
i really like the idea of her being able to temporarily posses her old body in certain circumstances tho- maybe when shiros uncouncious?? or like when hes is very tired or heavily injured she can kind of 'squeeze through' and take control back for a few minutes???? idk. i think this could be a very cool ability to give her- it cant be frequently used but can also be very helpful, and also theres so much potential for ✨shenanigans✨here>:) oh god i could put these fuckers in so many Situations with this..........
uhhh. so basically i think all of her influence on the physical world are through shiro. shes here bc of her connection to her old body, and thus its the only way for her to interact with anyone besides him- and shes NOT HAPPY about this(neither is shiro).
#ask#thank you for this ask!! it made me think more in depth about jiros abilities and come up with this so thanks<33333#if you have any ideas pls share them with me cause im still not really 100% set on everything lol#also im making a new tag for this au ->#two disasters au#bc. theres two of them.. and theyre both Mentally Unwell#also im gonna use this ask as an excuse to ramble about jiros motivation and character a bit-#okay. so i feel like the most importrant things about jiro are her tunnel vision and self-rightiousness#she gets really focused on one thing at a time and then fixates on it so much that she doesnt see how her behavior affects others#so when she gets evicted from her own body her first reaction isnt 'oh god this is such a messed up and dehumanizing thing to do to your#friend. what the FUCK guys'#its instead 'oh COME ON how am i supposed to be the black paladin without a physical body??? what the FUCK guys'#and bc deep down she KNOWS that if she ever stopped and thought about her situation for like 5 seconds shed just fuckin BREAK. so. she#doesnt do that.#and bc her self worth hinges on being the black paladin#she is really protective of tha title and tries her hardest to make sure shiro knows just how much better at paladin-ing she is than him#and that he wouldnt be able to keep the role without her help#she doesnt have any sense of personhood besides her job and so she clings to it desperately#the same applies to her gender#when jiro gets a new body(did i mention that???? i feel like i forgot to mention that. whoopsie???) he#(sometimes im gonna use he/him for jiro for when im showing things from a certain characters perspective cause thats what pronouns#she was using at the time)(if thats not okay i can stop tho) was trying very hard to pretend that hes just Shiro No. 2 and nothing more#to kinda 'make things easier for everyone' and bc he could FEEL the gender crisis approaching and was just. dead set on ignoring it and#hoping those feelings would go away(spoiler- they very much didnt. it just made things so so much Worse)#so anyway. basically jiro is a person obsesed with being Good Enough and respected but also lacks the experience patience and foresight#wnich results in her ignoring everyone and everything else to focus on doing her job Correctly#does this makes sense?? im still figuring shit out with her but thats what ive got rn
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yuri-is-online · 8 months
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"The moon is beautiful tonight" bro if someone said that to me I'd choke 💀. So here's a request ig. Octavinnle and scarabia saying this phrase in casual conversation causes like. it doesn't mean anything in twst, but yuu doesnt know that. So yuu just looks at them like
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And suddenly they're being a hell of a lot more affectionate towards them specifically, which is really starting to fuck with their emotion at this point. Cause like. "I've thought of what we'd act like as a married couple a million times and you are acting exactly like that"
So now like, idk, 2 months later or something, the boys basically do a "reject me so I can move on. Or not, please not, actually"
And yuus like? We've been together for 2 months now? I thought we were taking it slow but not this slow??
He doesn't even fully remember what he said, or the context that brought it up. If someone were to offer him all the world's wealth and power he wouldn't be able to tell them what brought about this change.
If he did he might find it ironic that in your world there was a place and time where "I love you" could be translated into "the moon looks beautiful tonight." For what else could he have been trying to say?
I LOVE THIS TROPE I LOVE IT SO SO MUCH. UNREQUITED REQUITED ACCIDENTAL LOVE CONFESSION MY BELOVED. Anyway yeah sure I can do this easy. Also can someone tell me what "ig" means I am an elderly woman ☆ヽ(o_ _)o notes: they/them used for Yuu, angst with the intent of comfort, not all of them follow the flow of the prompt exactly sorry, idk if I like this one? I'm so sorry it took so long I loved this prompt but for some reason when I sat down to write it my brain fried. More fic can be found on my masterlist here.
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Azul
What He Says:
You can't actually see the moon from Octavinelle, so how the conversation topic got around to it is quite lost on you. "You just don't really seem like an astrology h- person to me?" It is all you can do to bite back a different description as you try to pretend your focus is on the silverware you are rolling and not the ever so slightly disheveled octomer across the office. You treasure these times, though you have to wonder just how intentional they are. Azul always has an aura of manufactured perfection around him, so to see him with ink stained hands and a crooked tie... you wish you were quick enough to get a picture with something other than your mind's eye.
"I could say the same about you," he smiles as he speaks in a way you want to believe is affectionate "though I suppose it shouldn't, every planet large enough to host life will have a moon." Your fingers fidget with the napkins as you wonder where to take this talk, talking with Azul is a lot like a dance at a masquerade you haven't been invited to. One small slip and he has you at his mercy.
"I was surprised your moon looks so similar to mine." You try. "It was very comforting to know it still represents my deepest, truest self."
"Then it must look beautiful tonight." Azul says softly, as if he is more testing the words in his mind than he is saying them. But still you startle and drop the silverware and make him jump.
"I'm sorry?" You stumble over yourself to pick it up and see a worried Azul standing in front of you.
"I said the moon must look beautiful tonight." He says as he bends to help, so casually that he has to call out to you again to make you realize this isn't a dream.
"It is." You pull yourself up and stand closer to him than you have ever previously dared.
When He Breaks (Two Months Later):
Ramshackle Prefect: Morning Azul ⸜(。˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡
Azul stares at his phone as if he is unused to the words on his screen. His thumb hovers over the heart as if he could reach out and touch what sits on the other side and know.
You: Morning, a bit early for you isn't it?
Not that he is upset exactly, this is a lovely thing to wake up to. But it's torture, pure torture to lack the context for any of this. When you started messaging him in the morning he had been too pleased to think critically. His mind conjures up images of how sweet you could sound when half asleep, what it would be like to hear that wish from you every morning out loud instead of on a screen. He shakes his head trying to blink back the tears as he rises, these thoughts are like one of those mirages he'd heard Jamil describe before. If he looked too hard it would disappear and leave him with nothing but sand, and there is nothing a merfolk fears more than the absence of water.
Ramshackle Prefect: (。•̀ᴗ-) Ramshackle Prefect: hehe im goin back to sleep now. Ramshackle Prefect: dont overwork urself. it's supposed to be the weekend!!!
"Supposed to be the weekend" he wants to die. His heart hammers away at his chest as reads and re-reads his messages searching for a sign of how or why he is getting these messages. It's a thankless task, he's done this every day for... it feels like years but he knows from his carefully kept notes it's only been two months one week and three days. And he does mean notes, so what if he's taken to keeping Yuu's file in his night stand it's still kept in a file which means it isn't a diary. Not that it would be a problem if he did-
Ramshackle Prefect: oh before I forget is it ok if I stop by the lounge later? I tried making a pudding and want to know if it tastes good Ramshackle Prefect: y'know to people who don't eat literal dirt
-so no he wasn't keeping a diary but maybe Jade is on to something and he should really start because he hears those are good for managing stress.
~~~~
"Not that I am unimpressed with your efforts," is what Azul says out loud with a great deal of effort "but is it just me or have you been trying to cook a lot more lately?" It had started with little sandwiches and maybe a salad on days he was still at work late into the night, dropped off with the claim that Yuu was worried he wasn't taking care of himself but they never actually stayed to watch him eat it. This was new, as if they were testing the waters of something from their position on his couch, face still puffy with sleep as they settle themselves deep into its puffy cushions and watch him at his desk. Maybe they were concerned he would not want a desert and intended to stay and make sure he didn't throw it out. That had to be it, but then why visit dressed so casually? He can count on one hand the times he has seen Yuu out of an NRC uniform, and none of those allowed him a glimpse of their actual preferences in clothing.
It's like they've forgotten who they are dealing with.
"Well yeah, it's a good skill to have." Yuu looks at him with a genuine unguarded smile. "Besides it's fun to get your opinions on my food, I don't always understand how you come up with them but I feel like it helps."
"My I didn't realize you held my advice in such high esteem." He feels much more like himself now with this information. Of course Yuu has been messaging him more, they need him for something. It might sting, but it's safe. Logical. Something he can work with. "Maybe I'll just have to start charging you, can't have you taking my secrets and stealing away my customers, can I."
But for some reason this just makes you laugh. "No need to worry about that, I only really cook for you. And Grim I guess but like I said, he literally eats dirt. I mean just the other day-
"What did you say?" Azul's voice sounds strained.
"About Grim eating dirt?" You say, and Azul finally for someone so smart and so proud on his ability to read people thinks that he might have made a mistake. "He says he's making a tier list."
"Why are you so painfully human?" His smile is strange, you can't say you have ever seen him like this before, it's a strange mix of happiness and resignation. "Your heart is so- prefect do you trust me?"
"Yes." You answer, seemingly confused as if your answer to that question shouldn't have been something he doubted.
"Would you trust me with your life? Your secrets?" He makes his way out from behind his desk to stand above you, to look down at you and confirm that for some damnable reason you are still calm. "Would you trust me with your life?"
"...only if you wanted it." Finally he sees a trace of fluster in you, finally you feel as nervous around him as he does around you constantly. He places a finger under your chin and forces you to look at him.
"Then tell me how you feel about me truthfully. Because everything you have said and done up to this point has been driving me crazy into thinking I have a chance." You blink. Once. Twice. And then a look of pure confusion distorts your perfect face.
"You- you don't know? But I thought- I mean you said-" And then suddenly Yuu has managed to jump out from the couch and the intensity of the moment stutters closer to comedy as Azul watches you curl under his desk like it's an octopot. "You said the moon was beautiful."
It's Azul's turn to blink. Once. Twice. He feels like he should be holding back tears, or disappointed in some way but- "I did say that... but what does that have to do with, anything?" You don't move and Azul considers his options, and decides to walk slowly to his desk and pick up the pudding before settling himself just out of sight from where you are hiding. And he waits, he waits for you to speak like his hands aren't clammy and he is not worried at all about what you might have to say.
"In my world when you say that it means something." You sound so small and alone, but still he waits. "I was really happy to hear you say it, but I didn't think... no I just didn't think. I'm so so so sorry."
"What did you think I said?" His mind is racing with the possibilities, but he has an idea because really what else could he have said that would explain all of this behavior?
"I don't wanna say it. It's embarrassing." You sound close to tears and Azul can't have that now can he? He crouches down to look at you curled under his desk and thinks that Floyd must have been wrong when he called you a shrimp, how could you be anything other than another octopus, waiting for someone who understood them too?
"As embarrassing as saying it again?" He doesn't wait for you to reply. "The moon looks beautiful tonight." He watches your breath hitch in delight as he fully invades your space and whispers what it looks like he should have just said all along. "I love you."
And gets to hear the one thing he has wanted most. "I love you too."
Jade
What He Says:
"And that is the Hero constellation." Jade makes sure to keep his hand as close to you as plausible, resting the back of it against yours as he uses his pencil to point at the star chart you are examining to avoid having to move it away from your addictive warmth. He delights in the way you try to suppress your shudders yet make no move to shake him off, what a dangerous game it is you have decided to play tonight. "Named after the Hero who dove into the underworld to fetch back his beloved from death itself."
"It looks familiar." You swallow and try to focus on the stars, Jade had been kind enough to offer you some "opinions" (because help would cost you and he has no intention to charge yet) when he saw you struggling to read your astrology homework. "But I don't think it was as important to astrology back in my world..."
"Oya? Your world also values the guidance of the stars?" Jade is always hard to read, but even more so in the dark. Something to do with his natural habitat you suppose, not that you are excited about the potential he sees you as some sort of prey. Not that you couldn't be if you knew just what sort.
"Well yeah sometimes. But I think it has more to do with the zodiac constellations and the position of the planets." You smile and hope this little bit of information is enough for Jade to take as payment instead of a favor but he simply hums.
"Yes I do seem to recall you saying something like that." He says with a smile and you desperately wrack your brain for how he could know that when you know damn well it wasn't to him.
You were only sort of right, he had been there, just out of sight listening intently as you described the differences in the mythological origins of the various signs and their importance in match making.
"Only in some cultures Ace!"
But you had made no mention of whether or not that culture was yours, which was all Jade really cared about. Not that he placed much interest or faith in the stars but if you did that was important data. But no matter how carefully he tried to poke the only thing you ever seemed to really like talking about was the moon. "The moon looks beautiful tonight." Jade says, bitterly, head full with ideas that he wants to give but cannot without overplaying his hand. And yet-
"Do you mean that?" He turns his head abruptly, blinking in confusion down at your flustered self. Jade knows right away that he has said something without meaning to, your reaction screams it but just this once- no he is always selfish when it comes to you. So in keeping with his habits, he drops the pencil and folds his hand around yours properly.
"Every word." It is all he can do to keep his teeth from showing as he watches you fold into him. Normally when Jade offers to walk you home you make up an excuse or outright decline, but when he offers tonight you are happy to accept. You even let him help you pick up your things and when he decides to push his luck and ask for your hand-
You let him take it. His brain is fried, the only thing he can think of and feel is the texture of your skin and the weight of your fingers intertwined with his. Neither of you speak on the way back to Ramshackle, Jade barely hears himself whispering you a goodnight as he swears you stare at his lips in the same way he always dreams of yours.
His mind works overtime as he walks back to his dorm, thinking and re-thinking his words and wondering if he has reached the right conclusion. Data, he needs more data on this change. You have let him get close to what he wants in moments of weakness before, but you have never let him touch and as much as he wants to throw himself into you and be consumed with his assumptions...
When He Breaks (3 months later):
He is long past collecting data at this point, he is just being a coward. Jade is fairly certain that Yuu is courting him... but that pesky doubt keeps creeping back in the longer he looks at them. Not that Jade is unfamiliar with doubting himself, or waiting to strike but you...
"Are you alright, Jade?" You're laid across his lap without a care in the world watching that damn moon again, completely unaware of him unraveling beneath you. "You've been spacing out a lot lately."
"I've just had a lot on my mind~" He caresses the side of your face and you let him, you even whine a bit when he retracts it and speed up his heart rate just enough to make him hyper conscious of his breaths. "Can I ask you something?"
"Technically you already have." You squirm to try and dodge his flick but don't seem too fussed by it. "But sure, what's bothering you?"
"Do you hate me?"
"What?" Oh that look of shock on your face is precious he hasn't seen it in a while. Slowly, giving you just enough space to run if you want Jade bends towards you, smiling wide and tootful as he repeats the question.
"I was wondering if you hate me dear Prefect. Because you see," he sniffles and tries to pretend he doesn't hear you groan in exasperation "our relationship these past few months has been nothing but pure torture for my poor self."
"Oh has it now." You don't sound like you believe him how tragic. "I didn't realize I was such bad company."
"Oh the worst sort." He whimpers. "The sort of company that takes advantage of the thin lines between you and does all sort of things to your poor heart."
"... thin lines?" Finally. FINNALY. You sound just as worried as he's been these past three months. He ceases his blubbering and looks at your embarrassed face properly. It's adorable, he'll have to ask for your forgiveness later for his lengthy pause admiring it later.
"Please be truthful." He whispers just a tad lower than is necessary. "And be gentle with me in your rejections so I can move on if I must but first-"
"We're not dating?!?!?" How rude you don't let him finish before you interrupt and try to run away. His long arms interrupt your retreat, pulling you down with peels of laughter (from him it's clear you don't find this funny) as he rolls you onto the grass, pinned directly beneath him. You look good like this, eyes focused entirely on him and no longer pining after the moon.
"There seems to have been a misunderstanding." He says and you try your best to glare threateningly up at him. "I can't quite remember anything I might have done to make you think we were together. Was it something I said?"
"You said... I'm so stupid."
"I don't seem to recall ever having said that outloud." You try to knee him in the groin but he pins your leg down with his own, such useful things though a tail would have made this entire confrontation much more efficient.
"Of course it doesn't mean the same thing. This is a different world." You look genuinely distraught, and though Jade doesn't regret his teasing one bit he doesn't want to keep you in suspense much longer. So he bends his face directly next to your ear and whispers.
"The moon looks beautiful tonight." Your breath hitches and Jade rolls to his side, pulling you up onto his chest before you can go back to being angry at him. "You're right, it doesn't mean whatever you think it should here. After all if I wanted to say how I feel about you I wouldn't use a metaphor."
"And just what would you say about me?" You sound so impossibly small, just as in need of reassurance as he had been just mere moments ago.
"I would say that I love you, of course." It's hard to say out loud, but worth the reward of your warmth settling into him once more, with clarity this time and no need for cowardice.
Floyd
What He Says:
Floyd has been in a strange mood lately, not quite bad, not quite good, and yet somehow very clearly not somewhere in between either. Reflective is the word you would choose yourself, but no one is really asking your opinion they just want you to fix it.
Not that you have any real clue how you are going to do that, you will be the first to admit you didn't have much of a plan when you asked if Floyd wanted to climb up to Ramshackle's roof and shoot the breeze. Not that you are really complaining it had been funny watching him try to figure out the climb.
"I though you were supposed to be good at this." You laugh from your perch waving a bag of flavored potato chips in encouragement as Floyd snorts just below you.
"I'm real good at parkour, just haven't really climbed trees before. I ain't a monkey fish." Still he manages to hoist himself up just fine and plop himself next to you with a thud that reminds you of just how much weight there is to him. He's tall and lean, his figure seems to go on forever as he stretches himself out next to you, eyes fluttering shut as he lets out a breath and holds out a hand for a chip.
You stuff it into his mouth and try not to laugh too hard when he chokes. He spits some of the chip shards back at you and tries not to smile too wide when you sputter and whine about how gross he is for spitting on you.
"Ya do this a lot back home?" It's not the first time Floyd has asked about your world, but it is certainly the most random.
"We've got stars in my world too." You snort, trying to think about just how you are going to turn this conversation around into something more cheerful. "But nah, pretty sure someone would have called the cops if they caught me on the roof at 2 am." Floyd rolls onto his side, propping himself up on his arm to really look at you as you look through your grocery bag of loot deciding which of the drinks you brought up you want to drink.
"I meant invite people to hang out real late." You stop your search to look down at him and find your words caught somewhere between your heart and your throat. Not like this. You want to say. Not for this reason. But instead you shrug and try to offer a bottle he doesn't take. You aren't avoiding the question tonight. "Ya gotta have done something for fun, right?"
"Sometimes I'd walk around a store or something." It's weird explaining stuff to a merman, sometimes they get what you're trying to say but other times they come back with "so it's like that time Jade and I got caught chasing a dolphin around the school playground and got yelled at for tying him up in seaweed" and you just have to smile and say "yeah totally" because what the hell. You're pretty sure it's not but you lack all sorts of context to try and make him understand. "Or we'd sneak out and just drive around and talk about stuff. There's- not a bunch of exciting things I know how to do I guess." If this was a normal night Floyd would roll his eyes and lie back down, whine about that's why you always make him do all the work because shrimpies have shit for brains and his plans are always so much better.
But he doesn't. He reaches over and tugs on your leg, gently enough that you can run away if you want but clear in his desire to have you closer. So you move, expecting his hand to drop but it doesn't, not until he settles his head in your lap and he physically can't keep it there anymore.
"Ya ever talk about things that matter with those guppies?" Maybe he's homesick and that's why he's so focused on this. "Things that make ya miss them?" Maybe he's just projecting that onto you since he knows you will listen and be nice about it. But then his hand reaches up and turns your head so you can look him in his eyes.  They're glowing, you barely realize your own hand going to cup Floyd's cheek before he moves his other to keep it from going.  "You ever miss one of em in particular?"
"Not really."  How could you when Floyd looks like this?  "It'd be nice to see my friends again, sure, but it's not like there's one specific person I miss."  Floyd lets out a breath that it sounds like he has been keeping in for a long, long time.  His hands both fall to his side as he lets you look away in embarrassment, wiggling in slight happiness when you choose to rest your hands on his shoulders.
"The moon looks beautiful tonight." Floyd's voice sounds sleepy and oddly content.  Your eyes immediately snap back to him, but he isn't looking at you now. There is a a slight red tinge to his ears that makes you laugh quietly as you run a finger over the shell of one.  So that's what this is about.
"It's always beautiful with you around Floyd."  And finally he is looking at you with a smile.
When He Breaks (2 weeks later):
When you gave Floyd a guest key to Ramshackle he'd been extremely happy. Sure he'd acted like it was no big deal in front of you, beyond a few teasing comments about how buttering him up wouldn't get you anywhere unless you put it in writing. But back at his dorm he had been beyond insufferable, obsessing over just what color thread he should attach to it (purple for the sea witch, teal for the eel, or grey for ramshackle? decisions decisions), wanting to keep it close at all times until he had an excuse to replace it with you.
Because that's what he needed right? An excuse? Floyd wasn't exactly... shy in showering you with his affections but you. You. Until that stupid conversation on the roof a month ago you had always been sort of shy about it, if not outright dismissive. He assumed it was because you just didn't reciprocate but now...
"Floyd?" You can't really remember the last time he knocked, even before you gave him the key he sort of just let himself in. But today he knocked, only once and waited for you to open the door in eerie silence. Even when Floyd was coming over because he was bored he still managed to drag himself through the door or a window if he was so inclined.
So why not today?
"Not having a good day?" You try softly, he walks into your lounge with an eerie quiet about him. The last time you saw him something very nice happened, so you can't exactly say you are too worried but. It still sucks to see someone you care about in distress.
"Kinda." Floyd doesn't look like he had much of a plan now that he's in your dorm. "Had a lot on my mind is all."
"Aw that's no fun." You both stand doing nothing for what feels like an hour but you're sure is only a few seconds. "Do you uh want to talk about it?"
"..." And just like that Floyd feels really silly. He wanted to see you so that's why he came, but he wants to be as far away from these painful feelings as possible. "I kind of want to take a nap."
"Oh?" You don't sound surprised, but are clearly confused. Floyd begins to head towards the guest room without looking back. The guest room feels like you just enough that it can soothe his longing and distance himself from his internal conflict. "Would you like to use my room?" Or he could just not be allowed to distance himself at all because you could just say- "I've got some stuff to do but I can join you af-"
"Are you fucking serious." Floyd's voice is dangerously low and he is dangerously close to your face like you have said something wrong. "Look Shrimpy-" He swallows, like he's really considering what it is he has to say so he breathes and just goes for it "Yuu. You're killin me with this. Humans are already so fucking confusing. I give ya a shell and you get all cold for a week, and now, now you wanna sleep with me?" He pouts at you, like your suggestion had been scandalous. "'s like you think we're together or something."
"... we're not?" That's the only thing you can think to say even though the fact you have to say it answers the question for you.
"No?" Now Floyd sounds confused. "Ya- you can't do this to meeeeeeee." Despite his protests he seems just fine with grabbing onto you and dragging you into an embrace and resting his cheek on your head so you can't see his face anymore. "There's supposed to be a process to these things ya know? I'm supposed to give you gifts, and then you're supposed to give me some back and then I tell you I love you but every time I tried that I said something stupid instead. Like 'oh wow the moon looks beautiful tonight or some shit." He huffs and he puffs and he waits for you to say something. But you don't, you take a deep breath.
And laugh.
"Is this fucking funny to you?" Floyd is taken so a back he lets go of you only to find you laughing harder. You stand and reach to cup his face. Floyd doesn't like being squeezed, but there's something about the light squish you give to his cheeks that he likes, he likes a lot.
"No- well maybe a little bit. It's just, I knew. I knew what you were trying to say." Yuu says it like it is the most obvious thing in the world, like it's something Floyd should have known all along. "I owe you an apology, I should have asked, made sure you knew. In my world, it's sometimes considered too forward to say 'I love you' so instead..." You close the distance between you once more, leaving just enough room that Floyd can back away from you if he wants, "instead we say 'the moon looks beautiful tonight.'" Floyd takes in a deep, deep breath and you wait. The anger and frustration slowly fades as he exhales, shoulders sagging as he searches your face for signs.
"The moon looks beautiful tonight." He says it slowly, voice dipping low with the same strange gravity it had the first time he said it.
"It does, doesn't it?" You smile, and Floyd finally reaches for you, arms wrapped much more loosely than you ever thought possible.
"You're really mean sometimes ya know that." As if he doesn't find that attractive.
Kalim
What He Says:
Sometimes you worry about Kalim. He has this way of talking about things that, if it had been anyone else who said it, should be a major cause for concern. But because Kalim seems relatively happy most all of the time and has a family with a bunch of money no one really makes much of a fuss about it.
So when he says, off handedly, completely as a joke, that you should listen to his worries sometimes you don't give him a chance to play it off. You sit up from where you had been lying down in the Scarabia Lounge and move just a bit closer to where Kalim is relaxing so he can see how serious you are.
"Of course you can talk to me if you have worries." Your voice must have been abnormally serious because Kalim doesn't respond immediately. At first you wonder if the noise of the party behind you had somehow drowned out what you said but then you see Kalim's face. He looks conflicted, as if there is something he desperately wants to say, but instead he looks at you with a smile.
"I don't really have any." But he doesn't laugh when he says it, not that he sounds unhappy exactly just thoughtful. He doesn't move away from you either.
"Even if it's something you think might be silly," you say slowly forcing yourself to continue even as Kalim looks away "of if you're able to dismiss them. If something makes you sad for even a moment, you can tell me. I won't offer my opinion if that's not something you want, or won't help, I can still listen."
"You're really insistent about this huh?" Kalim sits up now too and you turn to look up at the stars decorating Scarabia's night sky. You wonder briefly about how exactly they might have gotten that to work when he says it. "The moon is beautiful tonight." He sounds so wistful but it's gone in a blink as he reaches for your hand and doesn't let you respond to his admission. "C'mon! Let's take the magic carpet and get a better look." You try to contain your excitement as he lets you lace your fingers together and doesn't even try to let go.
What He Breaks (1 week later):
Technically, Kalim isn't the one who breaks. He notices, of course he notices, the way you are more comfortable in seeking him out. How comfortable you now are with his casual touches, how willing you are to hold his hand and even give it a little squeeze. It's heaven, like he found the treasure cave the Sorcerer of the Sands had searched so long for. If it was up to him he would have let it go a little longer.
But it isn't exactly up to him, it never is. Not that Jamil looks angry exactly, but then again as Kalim has come to accept he's not the best at reading his moods.
"I thought you said you weren't going to ask Yuu out?" No Jamil sounds confused and Kalim fidgets with his bracelet under his questioning stare because he knows what he's about to say will probably actually make him mad.
"I didn't." Jamil takes a deep breath and Kalim immediately waves his hands to try and soothe him. "Promise! I remember everything you said about wanting to know and I agree it's just... are you sure you aren't misreading things? That Yuu isn't just... comfortable around me now?"
"... it's always a possibility given just how weird the prefect can be, but no. I'm pretty sure you must have said something that's given them the wrong impression." Jamil sighs and rubs his chin thoughtfully. "It's going to be awkward, but you should probably clear things up with them and tell them how you really feel."
"You mean tell them I'm not allowed to-"
"Like I said before," Jamil actually smiles now, and Kalim really hopes it's real "it's not my place to tell you who you can and cannot date. Sure your parents might have an idea about what they want you to do, but you and I know that a political marrige would never really work for you. It's just not how you're built." And with that he leaves Kalim to his thoughts.
~~~~
"Have you ever considered throwing smaller parties?"
"Haha this is a smaller party~ I only invited you and your freshmen friends." So Kalim says and so you see, but you suppose everything Kalim does comes from a rather skewed sense of small. It's nice to look out on though, Ace is amusing one of your other classmates with his card tricks while Jack and Deuce take turns at arm wrestling. Epel even manged to get Sebek to participate in something, though he might have regretted making it an eating contest. And above it all, tucked away in a little alcove, Kalim rests his head on your shoulder and hums along with the music playing through his dormitory loudspeakers. It feels domestic in a way despite the grandiose display around you.
"It's very nice Kalim." You lean your head on top of his and he sighs in contentment. "But you said there was a worry you wanted to tell me about?"
"Mhm. I'm worried I said something accidentally that made you realize that I liked you." If he wasn't holding you so intimately his words would have been like ice water over your self confidence. You still cringe and Kalim laughs slightly, happily holding you just a bit closer. "Hey I didn't say that I don't like you, I just want to make sure you understand what that means. I could put you in a lot of danger you know?"
"More than half a dozen overblots?" You lightly joke but Kalim just hugs you a little harder at the thought. "We'll cross those bridges when we come to them, it doesn't make me love you any less. After all," you press a gentle kiss to his forehead and smile as he shakes in happiness "the moon looks beautiful tonight." Kalim gives a little gasp.
"Oh that's a wonderful way to say it!"
Jamil
What He Says:
"I get that your world is a bit behind ours because it doesn't have magic, but really?"  Jamil's voice lacks the usual venom that would accompany his teasing if he hadn't been the one to propose this idea.  "Wanting to make a mix tape has got to make you practically per-historic."   You try to suppress your own smile as you watch him work from across the floor.
"I prefer vintage."  Your smile breaks free as Jamil finally laughs, you wonder if he knows just how beautiful he is as he swipes a misbehaving hair out of his eyes and gives his stereo another once over.  "I'll have you know making mixtapes have a long and storied tradition in my world."  You keep some of the possible implications to yourself, and try to pretend the concept hasn't been swirling around in you brain since he first suggested this.  "Why aren't you using magic to clean it?"
"Because I get to keep you here longer."  The words dance on the tip of his tongue and he forces them away with a smile.
"It's old, and I don't really want to go searching for a new one if I break something."  The lie has just enough of a trace of truth to fool you, but Jamil isn't one for taking chances.  "Aren't you supposed to be looking for stuff you like?  You won't get that by staring at me."
"Not like I'm going to find anything till your done cleaning."  You snort and finally take your distracting eyes away from him and direct them to his tapes.  "I don't know any of this stuff."  But you can still tell this collection is pretty impressive.  Some of the tapes look newer, but there are others that while well cared for are clearly old.  Album art featuring sandy landscapes and people posing is sandwiched between vaporwave cartoons and aesthetically confusing 3-d models.  This belongs to Jamil so you have a feeling it's organized, but you can't tell how.  Not that he leaves you wondering for long lightly taps your nose with a new cotton swab and nudges your pouting face towards a specific section of the box.
"Here, I set some aside based off the kind of music you said you liked."  And some that just reminded him of you, but that's nothing you need to know, yet if ever.  "Anything else you can think of?"
"Do you have any songs about the moon?"  The question pops out of your mouth before the thought that birthed it is fully formed, making you stumble over your explanations.   "Yeah go ahead and laugh there's just... this one song I miss."  It makes you think of him, from the few words you can remember.  You've written it down again and again to try and make sure you don't forget them, but the tune has begun escaping you; much like all your memories of home will one day be fragmented, not that the reality makes it hurt any less.  "I'm worried I'll forget what my moon looks like."  Jamil's amused confusion remains, but his eyes soften in response to your distress.
"Is there a specific reason you need the song?  Yo- The moon is beautiful tonight, do you need the exact song to see it?"  Jami
"N-no."  Your voice shakes.  Neither of you move to look away, what gives you the strength to move yourself to sit next to him you don't know.  But he doesn't move away and you let out a deep breath from sheer and relief and joy.  "I think I'll be able to see it just fine next to you."
What He Breaks (two months later):
Things have been going missing from Jamil's room lately. Nothing he actually needs really, the sort of little things you would take if you were really desperate to remember the feel of a person. The sort of things you would take if you were dating that person, which isn't at all the thought he would have had if he didn't know who was taking them. Not that Jamil could come up with a reason for Yuu to be taking these things, his first thought had been to take something of Yuu's the next time he visited Ramshackle, but that seemed to make you happy. "Fair game" he'd thought. "I want an excuse to see you and you want an excuse to see me."
Still he wasn't prepared for this.
"Jamil!" there is something refreshing about how calm your happiness is. You've always had a way of extending that calm to him, wrapping him in it and allowing him some space to breathe. But today, today. Today the Ramshackle Prefect has decided that he wasn't allowed peace, because yesterday they had stolen his sweatshirt, and today they have decided to wear it. "Everything ok?
"ha." Jamil wants to tug the hood of his dorm uniform over his head. He wants to run, he wants to shake you, he wants to scream. He wants to do a three act play complete with an interpretive dance because that would be easier than trying to speak. But he has to, because there's only so many deep breaths he can take before you reach out to make sure he's ok. So he takes your hand in his as you do and places it directly over his heart. "You know," for some reason he finds it easier to smile now that you know how nervous he is "you can't have taken that without knowing what people might say."
"Oh I don't know." You smile and bring yourself into his space, that strange calm he finds in your happiness begins to weave itself around him again. "Maybe I wanted to clear some things up. Make it good and clear where I belong." Jamil takes another deep breath, your arms go around him and he makes sure to look long and good into your eyes to make sure there isn't a shred of a crimson glow. That this is something you have decided of your own free will and not a dream or an accident involving magic.
"I never properly asked you out..." Technically he never asked you out at all, but Jamil would rather die than say that out loud. Maybe sometime long long in the future when he's ready to laugh at it and not now when he needs you to confirm that's what you thought he did in the first place.
"Oh! That's not-" You bury your face in his chest with a light laugh and he tries not to die in the time between the seconds until you respond. "I was so happy to hear you say the moon line it didn't really occur to me you might be worried about that."
"Who wouldn't?" Not that he's worried now, every other possibility has been ruled out so he can say exactly what he's been wanting to for so long. "Will you be mine?"
"I already was." It sounds so much better outloud than he could have ever dreamed.
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crayooongle · 2 months
Text
Sweet Mistake (1.9k)
akaashi keiji x (f)reader
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cw: unprotected sex, (f)receiving, boob play, fingering, breeding, public sex (car sex)
pet names: princess, pretty girl, baby
summary:
you accidentally send your best friend, Akaashi, a frivolous photo you took in the shower while you were at work. He couldn’t be more grateful by your honest mistake.
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Your mind was racing, you had about a million and one things to do before the week was over and not a single thing was completed. Work seemed like it had been piling up on you no matter how much you got done. You laid back in your office chair and slowly rubbed your temples with one hand before taking a sip of your coffee with the other. You were desperately trying to calm yourself down and brainstorm some ideas for your next work project. 
You sat up straight as you heard what you thought might be your supervisor treading down the hall. Unluckily for you, you forgot about the hot espresso still in your hand. The sudden movement made some of the coffee shake out the cup and right onto your white button up. 
“Shit,” you grumbled as you looked down at the damage. Great. Your new button up was completely ruined and you didn’t have another to change into. 
You let out a frustrated sigh, snatching your phone off your desk. You opened up your messages to see who could come drive by and give you a quick ride home to get a new shirt in your time of need. You didn’t dare to drive to work due to the crazy traffic in the morning, alongside having to pay for parking every day. You figured taking the train was much cheaper despite taking longer— at least you can sleep on the train the way to work.
You:  heyy kaashiii, you think you could do me a huge favor?
You prayed your friend would be quick to respond. I mean, today was his day off from his tedious job as an editor so theres no reason he wouldnt be able to help? You thought to yourself before your phone lit up with a new notification 
Akaashi: of course, what’d you need?
You: well i have a bit of a problem and i’d really appreciate if you could come pick me up
[attachment: 1 image]
You thought you had snapped a picture of your shirt covered in coffee and sent it but it seemed like the lack of sleep had gotten to you.
Akaashi: Y/N… did you mean to send me that?
You opened the message with confusion written all over your face, you quickly looked back at the picture and realized it was a spicy photo you’d taken while in the shower the other day. Your eyes widened in disbelief as you drowned in embarrassment. You just couldnt believe you accidentally sent the most inappropriate picture in your camera roll to your friend. You let yourself sulk in shame and had completely forgotten about responding when your phone went off again.
Akaashi: doesnt matter, ill be there in 15 
You had your location shared with Akaashi, he was well aware you were at work. You put your phone down and sunk into your flimsy work chair. 
Akaashi had always been there for you, you two had been friends since high school. You always thought he was cute and sweet but never thought about making a move on him. You wanted to focus on work and didn’t want to ruin the strong friendship you two had. Of course, your mind would occasionally wander and you’d daydream of the moment that Akaashi would finally just push you against your bed and do whatever he wanted to get himself off with your body. But you had a feeling that day wasn’t gonna be coming any time soon —you naively thought.
You packed up some your things and sent a quick message to your boss, letting her know of the incident and that you’d come in later in the day to finish up your work. After, you tried your best to collect your thoughts and figure out what to you say when Akaashi arrived. You calmly made your way out the building and waited out in front, where you had assumed Akaashi would be waiting— you were right.
You tried not to make any sort of eye contact with him but you still peeked in the mirror of his car to make sure it was him. Oddly enough, you noticed his cheeks were flushed and his eyes laid low. Your eyes glanced down to notice a tent in his pants. You immediately looked away and felt your face getting hot as you awkwardly made your way to the back seat. As soon as you got in you could feel the thick tension in the air. 
You cleared your throat in attempt to break the silence,
“Do you mind if i um…” you stuttered before starting over again, “do you have an extra shirt that i can put on until we get to my house,” you asked, while feeling another wave of embarrassment hit you. The coffee was seeping onto your chest through your shirt and the you hated the feeling of it sticking onto your bare skin.
“Yeah, i- uh,” akaashi quickly grabbed the shirt in the seat beside him and handed it to you, “here. I’ll pull up into a parking lot so no one sees you get changed”. 
You couldn’t see but Akaashi’s bulge was only growing with every second that passed by. He was a bit grateful you didn’t sit next to him or else you would’ve really noticed how hard he was for you. Maybe it was a bit vulgar for him to think this but he was secretly celebrating your little mistake. He’d never admit this but Akaashi had a huge crush on you. He always looked up to how hardworking you were, you were his motivation to keep going. 
Not to mention you were one of the most beautiful women he’s ever seen. He always had to stop himself from blatantly checking you out when you’d go on friendly dates together. He always wanted to be respectful, but deep down he wanted nothing more than to rip all your clothes off and fuck you until you couldn’t remember anything but his name.
Akaashi pulled up into a nearby parking lot as promised. He tried to find a spot that was the least crowded, luckily today wasn’t a busy day for most people so the lot was pretty much empty. 
You couldn’t shake off what you saw earlier, was Akaashi really acting like this because of picture you sent him? Maybe this was the time to test how he really felt about you. You cleared your throat to try and grab his attention. You looked up at the rear view mirror only for your eyes to meet Akaashi’s. You unbuttoned your shirt tauntingly slow while maintaining eye contact. Akaashi couldn’t help but let out a low “fuck”. It was still loud enough that you could hear the desperation in his voice.
 “yknow kaashi, i had a super stressful day at work today,” your words came out smooth and sultry, it was just enough to drive him crazy.
Akaashi immediately unbuckled his seatbelt before opening his mouth to respond, “how about you let me take care of you and relieve some of that stress”. Before you could react Akaashi climbed to the backseat to join you.
He pulled you in for a kiss and without breaking it, grabed your waist to lead you onto his lap. Desperate for some sort of relief, Akaashi moved your hips down onto his clothed-throbbing dick. You let out a light moan in between the kiss and continued to grind onto him. Akaashi slowly moved one hand up your skirt while the other moved to your chest to lightly squeeze one of your beautiful tits. He traced his fingers against your— already wet pussy. You whine and roll your hips into his hands. Akaashi pulls away from the kiss to watch your face contort from this new found pleasure. 
You try to close your eyes to avoid the intense eye contact but every time you do he completely takes his hands off you.
“Eyes on me baby,” he coos. 
You begrudgingly obey his demands. You truly wanted nothing more than to take advantage of this moment, have him make you finish. He gives a faint smirk at your obedience and slides his fingers into your underwear. You let out a wince as he slowly pushes his fingers right into your aching pussy. He switches between fingering you and sliding his cold fingers against your clit, listening closely as to what evokes the most noise out of you. Your moans were so lewd and whiney, he couldn’t help but lightly palm himself through his pants. 
He moves his hands out of your underwear just for a moment and you pout while staring at him. 
“Take these off for me-?” He gives a slight tug on your panties before pulling away. You waste no time in peeling your soaking underwear off alongside your skirt. 
“Thank you my pretty girl”. 
You only have time to let out a soft “mhm” before Akaashi pulls you back into a kiss. He leads your hands to his pants, allowing you to get an idea of how big he is. He pants against your soft lips, the kiss was filled with nothing but passion, need and lust.
Akaashi lifts your hips up for a moment so he can move his jeans and boxers down just enough that his dick slips out. He positions himself right at your entrance, you slowly move down onto his thick cock. You gasp at how he's stretching you out, it’s simply too much. Despite that you love the feeling too much to ask him to stop.
Akaashi gives you a second to adjust before fully pulling you down onto his cock. You whine at the sensation and grab onto his strong shoulders for support. He starts off at a slow pace, he doesn’t wanna hurt you after all. 
“Akaashi please,” you beg. 
Thats all he needed to hear. 
Akaashi gets a better grip at your hips before drilling right into you like it’s the last time he’ll ever get to fuck you again. The way your soft walls are squeezing his dick has him in pure bliss. He lets out soft moans under his breath and continues to slam you repeatedly up and down against his needy cock. 
“fuck- it feels so good Y/N,” he groans into your neck. 
You just whimper and moan in response, the way he’s fucking you has you unable to form sentences.
“Youre doing so good at taking it princess,” he continues to praise in between moans.
“I needa cum soon kaashi” you breathlessly mumble. Your legs were shaking as you got closer and closer to your release. You were trying to hold back but he just kept fucking you right in your sweet spot, you couldn’t handle it. 
“Yeah? You wanna cum right on my dick?” He asks while pushing himself even deeper inside your cunt.
“Yes please, I need to kaashi,” you blabber out. 
Akaashi speeds up as he gets closer to his release. He leaves a trail of kissing on your neck and collar bone as he viciously pounds into you.
“ahhh ha shit- akaashi im gonna cum!” You cry out as your legs shake.
“Come’on cum for me my pretty girl”.
Almost immediately after, you cum all over Akaashi’s dick. He tries to hold back but feeling you throb against his dick makes him cum right inside your pussy.
You’re both a mess; sticky, sweaty and breathless. The car windows are completely fogged up now. 
“Theres no way we just did that,” you mutter. 
Akaashi flashes a smiles before going to pepper a few kisses on your neck and face.
“Round two?” He asked in between kisses.
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216 notes · View notes
puhpandas · 10 months
Text
Rabbit Burrow
(5180 words) part 2 (1 found here)
Tony Becker, one year after surviving the attack from GGY, tracks down Gregory post-SB. But he has to get through Vanessa and Freddy before he can get to Gregory.
Its only after Tony has run through the interaction with Vanessa ten times over that he realizes she never told him how she knows Gregory.
He'd been nothing but restless since she left. His eyes have been darting to and from the digital clock on the end table on the other side of arm of the couch, and his brain has been so scattered, all he can focus on is the awaiting reunion.
The baking show has long since switched to a new episode since he last checked the TV. Tony's worried that at this point, his fingers will start bleeding if he keeps picking at them like this.
The only saving grace in a long chunk of nothing-but-anticipation is when Tony's phone buzzes at 6:01pm, right when he had started to gather his thoughts and began plan out the reunion in his head like remembering a speech.
Ellis: dude where r u????
Ellis: yr mom said u arent home and she keeps asking me if ur with me and where u r
All Tony does is sigh. He cant even find it in him to feel bad that his Mom and Grandma are probably worried. All he can think about is how his arms are shaking and his stomach feels floaty.
He types back with thumbs that have peeling skin on the edge of the fingernails.
Tony: Remember how I covered for you that one time?
Tony: I need you to cover for me. If you need to tell her that I'm with you and I'm staying over do that. I just need any excuse.
Ellis: yea i remember but why?
Ellis: if a guy covers for u u can at least tell him what the deal is
Tony: I'm doing something really important. I can't tell you all the details yet.
Tony: I just need you to trust me. Please. It'll help me out a lot, Ellis.
Tony: I promise I'll make it up to you next time you need something.
Ellis: dude didnt know it was that important
Ellis: dont worry then. u know i can tell a mean lie when i need to
Tony: Dude thanks. That's a big relief. It wont be in vain.
Ellis: my services will not be for free tho
Ellis: i will need something in return
Tony: What do you want?
Ellis: for u to buy me a cookie next time i see u at lunch
Tony finds it in him to roll his eyes at that. He smiles a bit, and right as he goes to send back I'll buy you two, Freddy Fazbear makes some sort of clunking sound.
Its enough to make his already fluttery heart clench and himself almost fly off of the couch. He jerks and yelps and can only stare Freddy Fazbears black eyelids phwip open, and his pupils glow..
They're blank, though, like they're on but Freddy himself isnt. His body whirs and shifts slowly, as if running a diagnostic, and after his ears wiggle, theres a clear difference.
Tony just sits rigid as a board with eyes wide as saucers as Freddy doesnt notice him right away. He just takes the jump cables off of his ears and sets them on the carpet, and moves his torso to face the window.
Which Tony is blocking. Since hes on the couch sitting directly next to the animatronic.
Theres a staring contest with a distinct lack of breathing for all but a few moments, before the small black plastic pieces that are Freddys eyebrows tilt downwards.
"Wait wait wait!" Tony holds out his hands, but Freddy doesnt get off the couch and attack him like his fears. Freddys eyes dont leave his once, and it reminds him too much of those few times Freddy would stare him down and be hot on his heels in the Pizzaplex during the GGY debacle.
Freddy pauses, not even so much as twitching as he burns an LED hole into him. Tony tries to get over the unease and stutters out, "Um, Vanessa trusts me. I talked to her. She told me to stay here."
For a fleeting moment, Tony believes he somehow said the wrong thing and that Freddy is now going to grab him and beat him into a pulp like he feared back at the Pizzaplex all that time ago. But during the rigid silence, the glow in Freddys eyes flickers for half a second, and some sort of beeping sound emits from a hidden speaker.
"I have just contacted her." Freddy finally breaks the tension, and Tony sighs at how his voice does not sound aggressive. In fact, Freddy hadn't spoken at all when Tony had been afraid of him last year. "You are telling the truth... my apologies."
"Theres no issue." Tony manages when Freddy looks so undoubtedly apologetic theres no doubt that he's not genuine. He scratches the back of his neck. "...I guess I wouldnt be too keen on a stranger being in my house when I wake up either."
"Yes," Freddy nods, and his ears bob at the motion. Theres a split second of silence where the baking show Tony hasn't caught a single second of is the only noise in the room. "so that begs the question; why are you here?"
Tony jerks. "What?"
"You are a stranger in my house, like you said." Freddy points out, not unkindly. "I would appreciate knowing why. Even if you already went over it with Vanessa."
"Oh. Well. I dont know what all Vanessa told you, but... I'm here for Gregory."
Freddy doesnt immediately turn distrustful or wary like Vanessa had. Probably because he already knows Tony is a friend. "She said you were an old friend of his." Freddy confirms. His "So, you are the boy Gregory talks to much about."
Tony doesnt really know how to respond to that. He grabs a fold of fabric from the arm of his jacket in-between his fingers. "Uh...yeah."
"I'm sure you've already talked to Vanessa. So I wont beat around the bush." Freddy says. "But Gregory has tried so hard to remember you."
Tony brows furrow. "...She said he has dreams sometimes. And that's how he knows I-- we exist."
"Yes." Freddy nods."But she probably did not tell you that he tries to figure out what reminded him of you, so he can continue to keep dreaming."
Tony's eyes widen, and he picks at his fingers. No. Vanessa did not mention that. She said nothing about Gregory actively searching for Tony around his life to see him in his dreams.
Freddys LED eyes dim, and his ears and eyelids droop in a clear sign of upset. "It breaks my heart. To see Gregory try to gather the broken pieces of his memories." His eyes stare at the couch cushion below them, before they dart up to look him in the eye. "You were obviously very important to him, if he searches like this."
"He is to me too." Is all Tony can manage. He's suddenly getting a sense adjacent to deja vu.
"Its clear that he is." Freddy is still looking him in the eye, but somehow, Tony feels like he's smiling at him. "If you came all this way to see him."
And he really did come a long way, didnt he? He took a bus to a different county. He spent hours and hours scouring the internet for any mention of Greg after he suddenly up and went missing as soon by the time Tony had recovered enough to look for him.
Greg has searched too, apparently. Tony cant help but be aware of. Even after losing his memories.
"What is your name?" Freddy suddenly asks him.
"Tony Becker." Tony answers easily. "I guess he doesnt remember my name, huh?"
"No. But he has tried. Believe me when I say that." Freddy says. "He wants to know more about his life before what happened more than anything."
"...You think he'll be happy to see me?"
"There is no doubt, Tony Becker."
The last time he had seen Greg, it was in a dusty back room with a knife in his back.
But despite that, it isnt what Tony thinks when he thinks Greg. When he thinks of Greg, he thinks of the sleepovers and the days Greg would show up at school one day with his hair different lengths. He thinks about how He, Greg, and Ellis would Vs. eachother on the air hockey machine. He thinks about the stories they'd come up with in creative writing.
When he thinks of that afternoon at the Pizzaplex, he doesnt think Greg. He thinks GGY. Maybe its that first inkling of separation that got him here.
Theres been a stretch of silence while Tony soaked it in. The rain outside has slowed, and the sun peeking through the gray clouds shines through the window, white lines on the coffee table like the blinds are a stencil.
"But the truth is... I do not think Vanessa feels the same." Freddy suddenly says. "She wants to protect him from the awful memories. I do not have to deal with them like she does, but I assume they... that they haunt her."
His ears droop. "I believe that she does not want Gregory to have to as well."
"So shes trying to keep them from him?" Tony asks, a brow raised. "But that's his choice, isn't it?"
"That is how I feel." Freddy agrees, looking at him again. It's starting to become less uncomfortable. "Listen, Tony Becker. I may not know for sure, but I feel that Vanessa is afraid to let you near Gregory. Seeing you will make him remember so much."
His mind immediately jumps to a thousand implications at that."If shes scared, what does that mean?" He asks. "She'll make me leave? She'll change her mind?"
"I do not think so." Freddy assures. "But my point is that she has been trying for so long to keep Gregorys memories under wraps. It is not with malice, but this is why I ask you this."
"Gregory has long since chosen to remember, even if Vanessa does not want him to." Freddy says havent left his once, and Tony doesnt look away, either. Freddys pupils suddenly appear brighter in a way when he speaks again, "To keep them from him after he has already made his choice would be cruel. Which is why I would like you to help him, Tony Becker."
Tony hasnt forgotten how Greg fought for him that day at the Pizzaplex. He hasnt forgotten how all that mattered was Tony escaping. Not if Greg would get in trouble. Not if something would happen to him.
Gregory has, though. Greg has forgotten a lot of things.
But if seeing Tony in danger that fateful afternoon made him remember himself enough to fight, and win against mind control?
Tony can fight for Greg's memories, too. Even if it takes another year.
"He deserves to remember his old life." Freddy says. "Vanessa has told me that his parents are dead. Any life he had before is nothing but a faint memory." He hums, melancholy. "But it's one I want him to remember."
Me too Tony almost says. Because all Tony has wanted throughout this last year is his friend back.
"Greg was one of my best friends." Tony says quietly, eyes downcast. He counts the threads in the couch cushion. "I want him to remember me and Ellis and... everything. It's why I'm here."
"I have not been able to help him, no matter how much I've wanted to." Freddy responds, sounding sad. "But I am glad you are here. Now Gregory truly has a chance of obtaining what hes been chasing for so long."
"Me too." Tony replies, not knowing which exactly hes responding too.
"So," Freddy pauses. "what do you say?"
"I'll do it." Tony responds immediately. "But... I just have to ask. Why do you trust me so much? Vanessa wouldnt even tell me anything until I answered her riddles."
Freddy hums. "It is exactly as you said." Freddy answers. "You earned Vanessa's trust. So in turn you have earned my trust. I trust Vanessa to trust you."
Tony doesnt respond, for a moment, just taking that in.
The amount of faith you have in someone to trust them that much. To know you can rely on them. To have no doubt...
Tony glances at the hallway he can see just over the back of the couch and down the hall into the room with the slightly open door, with the pens and pencils and bed and desk, and wonders how tightly wound the people in this house are with eachother.
"...Then I'll return the favor." Tony smiles. "You're friends of Greg's, and, well... I was friends with him, once upon an time. And he still seems to think so." He holds out a hand. "Any friend of Greg's is a friend of mine."
Freddys ears wiggle, and his eyelids come up in a way that make him look overjoyed. "Any friend of Gregory's is a friend of mine." Freddy repeats, shaking Tony's hand. "We are in this together, now. We will have to be there for Gregory if he remembers not so great things."
"And for the great things." Tony smiles, going over the few months worth of memories of their three amigos friendship he has in his head. "Its worth it, I think."
After all, if Tony's found a way to seperate killer Greg with his Greg, then he thinks Gregory probably can as well.
"I'm glad we have that settled." Freddys ears wiggle, and his eyes do that dimming thing again for half a second. "Because Vanessa has just contacted me and let me know that she is almost back with Gregory."
He makes some sort of choking noise. Theres a thousand things on the tip of Tony's tongue in seconds. His eyes blow wide as saucers, and he twists his back to look at the clock that reads 6:34.
He immediately feels like someone dumped a bucket of ice water on his head. He stutters, trying to gather his thoughts, and eventually gets out "How long?!"
"Soon." Freddy smiles. "It wont be long, now. It seems all the work you've done has paid off."
Tony cant find it in him to move his mouth after that. Just too rigid. It feels like theres electricity buzzing up his skin and a wildfire in his chest. It feels like he cold start floating like a balloon at any moment.
He doesnt respond to Freddy, after that. He just twists his body to face the front door (his back twinges. maybe he shouldn't slouch over his laptop and desk so much) and waits.
A few minutes is nothing in the grand scheme of things. Not really when its put up against the year he's taken to track Greg down. But its somehow more agonizing waiting now when he knows Greg is in arms reach, instead of it being uncertain if he'd ever see him again.
It's not uncertain, now. Is the thing. Greg is on his way, and Tony, for once, doesn't even know what to think. All he can do is sit there and be clammy and impatient.
Freddy chuckles. Tony ignores it. He burns a hole into the front door just across the living room, only hearing his own jumbled thoughts and roaring in his ears over the baking show on the TV.
Its Winter right now. So by 6:45, all the light outside has darkened into pitch blackness. The residential street lights outside the apartments make the raindrops on the window glow. The TV is still going in the background.
Freddy is as still as he is, joining him in watching the door as restless as a bored puppy. Listening to the ventilation inside of Freddys inner workings is the only thing that reminds Tony to breathe.
After multiple agonizing minutes, Tony jerks when the slam of a car door is heard distantly outside the window.
"Are you ready, Tony Becker?" Freddy breaks the silence. Looking back at Freddy is the first time Tony looks away from the door. "We do not know how much he will remember at first. It may be messy. It may not."
Messy is definitely a word he would use to describe a lot of the things that have happened, here. So he just nods, a tilt of his head. "I'm ready."
"He is ready, too." replies Freddy.
And that's all that's said until the doorknob begins to rattle.
All that Tony manages is a strangled gasp before he's bolting off the couch, almost tripping over Freddys legs. His converse slide on the laminate wood, and he stands there. In perfect view of the door.
His legs feel cold and his chest airy as he watches. He waits for movement, and cant help the tremble in his hands when the deadbolt unlocks. He can hear voices. Only because hes straining his ears, but he can hear a high pitched voice muffled and faint behind the door.
The doorknob rattles, and Tony watches as the deadbolt unlocks from the inside. His heart stutters in his chest when he hears voices outside, and he can pinpoint one of the pitches as Greg's.
"Come on, Vanessa. Were home. Now tell me what the suprise is!"
"I think you'll want to see it for yourself, Greg."
"Its inside? Well what could it possibly be if you wont even give me a hint--"
The knob twists, and the door creaks open. Its steady and agonizingalmost as if it's in slow motion.
And there he is.
Theres the pale skin and short stature and blue clothes. Tony isnt breathing when he just looks, and sees the boy he'd been searching for so long right in front of him.
He has raindrops in his chocolate brown hair. Greg doesnt look away from Vanessa while he walks in, at first, but Vanessa looks away from Gregory. She meets his eyes, and Tony doesnt have it in him to dissect what the look could mean.
All he cares about is how Greg follows her gaze.
He stops in his tracks, his mud stained Pizzaplex brand sneakers planting him firmly in place.
It's like everything else falls away when Greg meets his eyes. Huge, amber eyes that grow as wide as saucers when they see him. Theres a dark jagged scar wrapped around his cheek that makes it to his nose that wasnt there before.
The silence is deafening, as they just stand there and stare at eachother. Tony thinks he isnt breathing. Theres electricity shooting up his spine. His fingers twitch and tremble. Greg just stares, mouth agape.
Tony's own twitches, and he smacks his lips together, testing if he can still speak at all. His legs are rooted to the ground as he says, just above a whisper, "Greg."
Greg's face shifts ever so slightly, and it's only now Tony realizes his eyes are a bit faraway. Like he's...
Remembering something.
In an instant, they dart and blink, and Greg is looking at him again.
Tony dares to break through the water by taking a step. He never tears his eyes away from Gregory's own.
At some point, Vanessa moved away from the door and somewhere else in the house.
Which means the coast is clear when Tony takes a step, and then another, and Greg is meeting him in the middle.
Hes almost sprinting when they crash into eachother like waves. Immediately, Tony wraps his arms around Greg tight, and Greg clutches back just as desperately.
"Tony." Gregory says breathlessly. Tony can feel Greg's hair brush against his cheek and his hands ball up his jacket. "Its you. That's your name. You're the..."
"The one you've been dreaming about?" Tony chuckles, and to his suprise, it's a little wet. His legs ache from pushing himself into the hug so much, but he ignores it. "Yeah. Me and Ellis. Your friends."
"Tony and Ellis." Greg repeats, and Tony could cry at how it's the same voice in all of his memories. A few things are different; Gregory's face has changed a bit, and so has his hair and clothes. But all of the things that made him Greg back then are still here.
"I--" Greg stutters. "I tried so hard to remember anything about you. I was gonna track you down, I hope you know. Cause you're the only things I remember about..."
"I know, Greg." Tony replies. Greg pulls away from the hug, and Tony still has a grip on his shoulders. "They told me everything."
He jerks his head towards Freddy and Vanessa, and when Greg looks over at him, Freddys ears wiggle and Vanessa does a small little wave.
"Some suprise." Gregory chuckles, wiping at his dry eyes. "Jeez, its just-- I just remembered so much. Just by seeing you, and--"
Greg's eyes turn a little misty as he looks in Tony's own. "We were friends." He says. "And I forgot you for so long."
"It wasnt your fault." Tony smiles slightly. Greg still has to look up at him a bit, like he did last time Tony saw him. "Freddy and Vanessa told me you tried your best to remember us."
Gregory nods, glancing over at them. "I did." He says. "I wanted to know what triggered the first dream so bad. But... I never figured it out."
"I guess it doesn't matter now." Tony says. "I'm right here in front of you, and you remember now. Ellis'll be really glad to see you, too."
Gregory chuckles. "I missed him." He says. "I missed you, too."
"Me too." Tony replies, and it doesn't feel like those two words can encapsulate how much Tony has felt the past year. "Ellis really missed you as well. He still is. You don't know what happened to him when you went missing."
Gregory ducks his head, eyes downcast. "I wish I did."
Tony eyes Freddy from the corner of his eye, and he nods. Tony looks back towards Greg. "I can tell you some stuff, if you want. Vanessa said something reminded you of me one day." He smiles. "I can try to help remind you of stuff enough to remember more."
Gregory's head shoots up, and to Tony's suprise, tears gather in his eyes. As quick as they come, he ducks his head, using the sleeve of his navy jacket to wipe them away. "Yeah." He sniffs. "That'd be great."
"I'm glad you guys reunited." Vanessa pipes up to their left. "But, Gregory, I think you should go take a breather. I wanna talk to Tony anyway."
Greg doesnt answer for a second, but eventually he nods, smiling at Tony as he peels himself away. Tony takes note of how the tooth Gregory had been missing last year is still gone.
Tony watches him go, and his eyes dont leave his back until the door to his room shuts.
"Kid," Vanessa grabs his attention. She gestures to sit down on the couch, and he moves over, sitting in-between Freddy and her. "that went well. Really well."
Tony just nods, not able to shake the trembling in his fingers and the floaty feeling in his chest.
"It doesnt seem like he remembered anything bad." Vanessa points out. "He couldnt have. He wouldn't be so calm if he did, trust me."
Tony remembers Freddys words about how Vanessa grapples with the things shes done, so he does. He nods again, and Vanessa smiles. "So that's good. Listen, kid. If you can somehow have Gregory remember his old life without any of the mind control murder stuff, that would be the best case scenario."
Freddy whirs and straightens out a but, opening his mouth to speak, but he stops at the last second. "It wouldnt be unfair to Gregory if he wasnt remembering anything good, Fred." Vanessa points out.
"That is true." Freddy agrees. "There is no point in Gregory remembering anything harmful to him if avoidable. Vanessa knows that better than anyone."
Tony opens his mouth to speak, but pauses.
Not remember anything bad? As in he wouldnt be able to remember that day at the Pizzaplex?
How Greg had put himself on the line and fought for Tony's life? How he'd succeeded? How Tony always desperately wanted to see Greg again just to talk about it?
Words get caught in his throat, but he pushes them down and shoves his feelings aside. He just nods. "I'll do my best."
"Thanks." Vanessa says, and she sounds more relieved than Tony's ever heard anyone. She puts a hand on his shoulder, offering him a smile. "Really. Thank you, kid. I'd do anything for Gregory to never have to remember the same things I do."
Tony just nods again, finding that for the first time in his life, he has no words to say. "Yeah."
"I am sure you're dying to catch up with Gregory." Freddy smiles. "Go on, Tony Becker. We will give you both space."
Tony smiles, shooting up and shimmying past Freddys legs in-between the coffee table towards the hall. "Okay. Sure." He only lingers for another moment to say "Thanks!"
Its jet black outside when Tony passes a window, and by the time he makes it to Greg's room, the only light available is a small table lamp on the desk with paper strewn about. Greg sits on his bed, deep in thought, before snapping out of it when Tony walks in.
"Hey." Gregory smiles, and Tony grins back when he shuts the door behind him. He cant help how his eyes wander about the room, taking in every detail as he moves further into the room. His backpack is tossed on the floor beside his bed, and theres comic pages and drawings thumbtacked up across every wall. Theres a corkboard with blocky letters written on paper sheets scattered around, and his bedsheets have constellations on them.
Tony's eyes linger on the desk, where there are multiple comics covering every inch, some half-finished and some fully colored.
"You would draw comics when we were friends, too." Tony says, making his way over and peering at all of the different drawings. "I'd call them graphic novels. I'd write the story and you'd draw."
"I think I had a dream about that." Greg says. "We'd go in your room and brainstorm, right?"
"Yeah." Tony smiles. He looks at the dates scribbles in the corners of them all, and notices that most of them are recent.
"Its one of the only dreams I had." Gregory says. "It... it would make me so mad because it never went any different. And it had been the only indication you even existed for so long." He chuckles without humor. "The other dreams weren't much different, but, well, I was never really able to figure out how to trigger a new dream."
As he keeps looking, some of the older comics, like the ones on the walls and the underneath the piles of recent ones have dates from a few months ago.
It's like a tiny lightbulb goes off above his head. He turns to Gregory, asking "Do you remember when you had the first dream?"
Gregory pauses for a moment. "Yeah." He says. "It was a few months ago. The first dream I had was about us drawing comics in your room."
Tony smiles, finding the earliest date to be near October last year. Its February now. "Did you ever think the thing that triggered that memory was drawing a comic?"
Tony watches as the gears turn in Greg's head. Hes silent for a moment, before muttering, "No. I didnt."
Tony looks at the window on the wall by Greg's bed and watches as raindrops drip down the screen on the other side. Crickets are chirping faintly, and he can hear Freddy and Vanessa's voices muffled behind the door.
The days events catch up to him, and right as the first inkling of tiredness creep up on him, he says "So how about we try to make a comic together like the dream? Maybe it'll bring back some new memories."
Gregory is silent for a moment, and Tony watches as his eyes widen, and a grin gradually stretches across his face. "Okay." He says. "Yeah. Let's do it."
So it's in Greg's room, instead of Tony's, where they hunker down for the night and squish next to eachother on the same chair at the same desk and brainstorm a comic. Tony makes a point of calling it a graphic novel like he used to, because Greg would always say something about it, and unsurprisingly, this time is no different.
The only light is from Gregory's small table lamp shoved to the very corner to make room for more papers, and it's only when they have everything ready does Greg finally ask about the story.
"You said you'd write the story and I'd draw." Gregory says. His shoulder is pressed up against Tony's on the chair and his voice is loud in his ear. "So what's the story?"
Tony hums for a second, jumbled thoughts and ideas running course in his mind, then he gets an idea.
He grins slowly as it dawns on him. He glances over at Greg.
"You always liked nonfiction better, right?" Gregory says, voice up an octave like a question. "Real life stuff."
"Yeah." Tony confirms. "This is a real story."
"So tell me." Greg smiles, leaning back to get a good view of Tony. Tony himself does the same, and Greg is doing one of those lopsided smiles that shows off his missing tooth. "And I'll start drawing the panels."
Its only after theyve hunkered down does Tony really let himself revel in the fact that he found Greg, and he's here and okay. It may not be perfect, since Tony never really will be able to speak to that Gregory that saved him that day and thank him, but its content. Tony has his friend back, and he can't ask for any more.
He's long since decided on a story when he finally tells Gregory. He smiles softly, before saying,
"This story is about a kid named Gregory, who once hacked the school PA speakers and started beatboxing."
🔎🐰
Ellis: um so how long will i have to keep this up???
Ellis: would be nice to know
Tony: I dont know how long I'll be gone.
Tony: I'll buy you as many cookies as you want for this.
Ellis: we will negotiate when you come back
Ellis: for now ill uphold my end of the deal mr. becker
Tony: I'll uphold mine early.
Tony sent an image
Image ID: A boy with short dark brown hair and a green jacket angling the camera so by his head is a boy with pale skin and chocolate brown hair. The boy with dark hair is smiling and the boy with brown hair is looking suprised at the camera.
Ellis is typing...
ao3 link
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pjssometimes · 3 months
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With SMT V: Vengeance releasing, it got me thinking. Why is persona so much more popular than smt? I mean Go on tik tok and look for persona 5 edits and you’ll find sooo many. Look for smt 5 edits and there’s barely any.
I thought it over just a little, and in my mind (after a small amount of thinking and ZERO research) I think one of the main reasons is that Persona is characters with a story. While SMT is a story with characters. On top of persona looking better.
What I mean with ‘Persona is characters with a story’ is that the story is there to drive the characters, and allows the characters to grow. The social link system definitely helps this. You’re connected to the characters in a way that SMT doesn’t allow. I believe that it’s because of these characters that people keep coming back.
SMT is a story with characters however. I find that SMT uses the characters as a way to move the story. The Order and Chaos endings are the main focus. The gods are the main focus. The characters you meet along the way are a means to and end to get to these endings.
We’ll look at Persona 5 and SMT V. For these are the latest games in the series (not including P3R). In persona we watch the characters slowly change. These characters are also usually the motivation behind the story. Ann and Ryuji telling us about how they were abused by Kamoshida. Giving motivation to steal his heart. Yusuke and Madarame. So on so forth. We slowly watch these characters grow and change. However I feel SMT V doesnt do this. The demons threaten the lives of the people in Tokyo, so ofc we as the Nahabino help. There are characters who help us along the way. But they don’t have the same impact as the characters in Persona 5 do. SMT V characters are good, but don’t compare to Persona 5s characters imo
There’s also the ‘flashy-ness’ of persona as compared to SMT. One of the most disappointing things of SMT V for me is the UI. Going from P5R and P3R to SMT V… they just don’t compare, SMT V is lacking. Now I don’t feel this is a complete deal breaker, but it is definitely not working for the game. The games fighting system is also very similar, and I feel Persona just does it better? With all out attacks, baton passes. They’re not completely the same, big difference being having people on the team compared to demons. Along with the MC switching personas on the fly compared to essences. Still they run similar enough to compare.
Now this isn’t to say games that are ‘story’s with characters’ are always bad, or don’t ever stick in people’s minds. I’d also classify Devil May Cry as a ‘story with characters’ type game and you’ll find the fandom for that is still going strong with barely any new content. I just feel that when not executed perfectly it can make it harder for the games to stick.
This also isn’t to say that SMT is a bad series or SMT V doesn’t get love. SMT V is a fantastic game. However I feel the fandom for it is a bit lacking, especially when considering Persona has such a big fandom and is a spin off of the SMT series. So this is my personal take as to why that is.
This line of thinking came about when Hyperfixation got to me and I went to interact with the SMT fandom and noticed how small it was when compared to Persona lmao. Anyways no hate to either series or fans of said series, I love persona and SMT (and also Devil May cry, I own four and five lmao, Nero my beloved-)
Not sure if this make a lot of sense lmao
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sidebaxolotl · 1 year
Text
Was talking about this with the sibling but its kinda disturbing how so many folks (talking about Christians in particular rn but it can apply to everyone) are so desperate to be in a romantic relationship. Its not a bad thing to want but the desperation and all-encompassing desire is probably idolatry and is just really unhealthy regardless. Obsessing over being single or "alone", burning through potential partners left and right, lowering your standards just so you can have a partner, not being able to function outside a relationship? These are all things I see from the people around me and its kind of unsettling.
I know its difficult but maybe just consider shelving that desire for a bit and focusing on God and figuring urself out as an individual--what you like, what you want out of life, *independently of a spouse and children*-- investing in community, friends, family, church etc. You may find that the desire for romance was something else. Or if you do have it still, maybe the desperation goes away and ur able to approach the subject with a more level head.
And i know this is gonna be controversial to say to Christians lol but--consider convening with God and discerning whether marriage is actually for you. I know it seems like a death sentence, and the modern church doesnt help in this regard but its not. Paul says its better to be single and focus on God. Heck, our lord and savior Jesus Christ was celibate. And he lacked nothing in terms of intimacy and companionship. Idk, maybe just some food for thought
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seth-shitposts · 9 months
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DEFECTORS, DEFECTORS, DEFECTORS-
For you? Always friend 🫂💙💙💙 😘😘😘🥰
(Stars, I badly need to organize our docs for Defectors. I'm scrapping together to see what im pretty certain I haven't shared or gone into detail of yet.)
----
The main story of defectors will be split into two or three main parts, I think. (All of it will be in the same fic, though. The chapters will just be grouped into the parts.) Probs 3.
[I have a feeling I'm going to ramble a lot in this one so I'm going to go ahead and place a cut here😅]
The Bridgers//part i
There's going to be the first 5 years, from the night of the Bridger Raid, when Ezra is 7 in 12bby through to 7bby. This is the time span in which Kallus is taking care of Ezra, slowly losing his loyalty over the span of 4 or 5 years.
Year I
Kallus is loyal during the first year, and is conflicted about the exceptions he makes for the bridgers. For Ezra. It does and doesn't go against what he was trained for. To him, the situation is much more complex than the empire would view it and he wasn't prepared for that. His training hadn't included young children and he himself being young at this point doesnt know what intitive to take. So he's figuring things out. And he reasons it with himself, convinces himself that while he's crossing into a grey area in the eyes of the empire, that the goal of this is to establish order, therefore he is still carrying out his duty.
This first year is him trying his best to learn how to take care of a child and gain that child's trust. (Because if Ezra can't trust him, Kallus won't be able to take care of his needs. Lack of trust will mean lack of desire to communicate needs.)
Through the year, Kallus also works on some of the cases Mira and Ephraim give him while they do as promised and integrate into the rehabilitation program. He quickly realizes that they aren't the type of people he had thought they'd be, but more similar to the person who had taken him in when he was young. He isn't sure if he's taking back some of his judgment from objective observations he makes about them or because of how much they're hitting one of his soft spots and he's becoming bias.
So he turns his focus to the work they give him. Which is releasing civilians who were arrested due to a misunderstanding or without any real proper cause. Ones whose cases would have sat in some officer's desk for months, or even years, before being gone through properly. All while the civilians in question would have still been in detainment. Busy work, but Kallus is helping them and it's motivating Mira and Ephraim so he doesn't mind doing a few extra hours of work every other day.
•Before the Bridger Raid, he had done quick work of climbing ranks within the ISB branch. Having finished top of his class already put him farther ahead. By night of the Bridger Raid, he is either ranked 101 or 100. So not to double digits yet, and him being there on the cusp is the end of being able to quickly climb ranks because of how further more ruthless the shark competition is.
•Kallus enlisted to the academy when he was 14 in 21bby. He lied about his age to get in because the bare minimum requirements is that you had to be at least 18. The recruiter knew he was full of shit about his age but still allowed him to join because Kallus was eager [desprate].
[The idea of Kallus enlisting at such a young age is inspired from a conversation we had awhile back with @heart-of-a-rebel16 💙🫂]
•Jovan had been a major help to him in the academy, and because of his help in finding footing, Kallus was able to qualify for the new ISB training program that became available a year later. Kallus graduated sometime around 18 or 17bby, still top of his class. It would be very soon after that that he was on Onderon, when he was around 18.]
•Kallus’s parents had died when he was very young. He barely even remembers them. For a few years he was treated as a feral alley cat; a sewer rat. When he was around eight or nine, a miralukan chef from a restaurant a few levels up slowly worked on trying to gain Kallus’s trust. And they eventually did. They took Kallus in as their own and looked after him. Kallus had slowly built trust with them, and even looked up to them. However both Kallus and the chef became sick when an virus swept through the lower levels- Kallus had just turned 14 and barely survived. Most who were sick didn't, the person who took him in among them. So when recruiters swept their way through the lower levels, Kallus seized his chance immediately, was willing to do anything to ensure his basic needs would be met and that he could dedicate himself toward a worthy cause.
Year II
The second year Kallus has grown more confident in his ability to take care of Ezra and unknowingly more attached. There isn't anything anyone can't adore about this sweet kid. By this point, Ezra has started coming out of his shell and Kallus has visibly become much more relaxed and gentle.
During the second year, Kallus works on trying to build good relationships with Tseebo and Morad. They have vital roles in Kallus’s ability to make the deal with the empire/the warden feasibly work. And for that to be done smoothly, it would be best if he also has their trust. It's hard for him to try and be friendly or personal; the loss of the squadron he had been a part of still unpatched.
He's opened up more to Mira and Ephraim, has seen how similar Ezra truly is to them. He decides to start negotiating with the Warden on shortening the sentence. He does manage to get it cut down, but he isn't satisfied so it's something that he goes back and forth with him on.
He's also realized a pattern between the behavior of imperial officers and wrongfully arrested civilians and has been working on correcting that behavior. Try and fix the problem at where he thinks the source is.
He learns more about lothal and some of it's traditions. Mira loves to talk about it and some of the ways she would suggest the empire change in order to best change and support lothal. Kallus takes notes of that and in his down time does research on that.
Kallus learns that Ephraim had also lost his parents at a young age, but the town he lived in endlessly supported him. And that's the type of community he wants to help build and maintain for Ezra to have and be a part of when he's older, for Ezra and for the future of Lothal. Kallus includes that in his notes and has a moment of curiosity- if the lower levels of coruscant had the resources to take care of themselves, would they have had the same compassion that lothalites had for each other?
Mira and Ephraim add in cases in which citizens were arrested simply because of not having resources. Of those who aren't able to take care of themselves. Or those who have people they needed to take care of. Kallus begins on helping them as well.
Year III
Kallus has taken initiative of helping establish systems of support on lothal by giving ideas and leeway to Governor Azadi and Minister Tua. They're both thrilled, and with Kallus helping back them to the other branches of the empire by advocating that if these changes are made, rebel activity will be lowered. They've been implementing these systems in short bursts, but without approval of the empire, the programs will die off or be reported since it isnt official imperial regulation.
He keeps getting ineffectual and half-arsed responses on the situation concerning the bridger's hearings. Mira and Ephraim have been exceptionally patient. Far more than he is. He was able to lessen their time, but by the time they're to be released, Ezra will nearly be an adult himself. It's not soon enough. Not for how compliant the two have been to everything asked of them.
Kallus has also been getting draw back from his superiors, been met with resistance for the changes he'd been trying to implement. That he can do as much extra altruistic work in his time, but not to bleed that over and confuse it with enforcing the regulations and mandates. They don't want to allow Kallus to reason with them on it. And many of the officers have been more and more distasteful and unaware. He hates that he's starting to feel seeds of resentment, so he carefully keeps attempting to get his reasoning across that this produces the best results. There's so much back and forth and near the end of the year, he sees how Ryder is also getting pressed into a similar corner. He starts to wonder if the empire is simply making mistakes that they're choosing to stick to or if they might actually not have what's best in mind.
Year IV
Kallus still has some hope at the beginning of the year, but as the year goes on its harder and harder to believe it. Near the beginning of the year, Ryder was accused of treason. His replacement seemed to have been aware of it before either of them were. Kallus met her months before and she's worked around on operations with him. He doesn't trust her and starts to lose trust in Tua when she seems to attempt to get into Pryce’s good graces. Kallus is much more careful about what he says around either of them, especially the months following azadi's arrest.
His impatience and anger toward his fellow officers has increased as they continue to ignore his corrections, saying that it's not protocol or not their job to take into account.
Kallus wishes to speak to Mira and Ephraim about it, but he worries that he could put them in harm's way since none of them can speak freely. He's been fighting harder to get Mira and Ephraim released as soon as possible. But he's run out of strings to pull. Over the past few years, he'd accepted several promotions in hopes that having a higher standing will give him more influence over their case. But now, instead of being met with weak responses or excuses, he's being downright denied.
At one point he was offered that if he stops fighting the front of keeping Ezra from being enlisted into the academy, that Mira and Ephraim could be released on probation. Kallus shoots that down immediately. He is not even going to entertain that notion. Ezra is too young. And he isn't even going to bring it up to the kid, because Ezra will feel that it's his responsibility to give his parents the chance for their freedom. Kallus will have to be dead for that to happen. He isn't going to allow it.
He's not out of options yet. So he's going to keep trying.
Things on lothal have been getting worse. He can't keep up with the cases of citizens being arrested and detained. The empire is choking lothal and its people. This isn't what he thought the empire stood for. When did this happen. [It's been like this and slowly getting worse, he realizes.]
Year V
By this point the only thing keeping Kallus in the empire is the fight for the Bridger’s freedom and the fact that if he simply walks away, he's putting not just Mira and Ephraim indanger, but also Ezra and Tseebo and Marida and Morad. Anyone he's grown close to. The empire would not just detain him, but go after them as well. He isn't sure what he's going to do, but he can figure that out once he's freed Mira and Ephraim. Near the end of the year he realizes that he'll just have to free them himself. He'll talk things out with the Sumars once he return from a mandatory operation across the galaxy. Once he returns, they'll make a plan of action.
-But Lasan happens. And in the same point as does Mira & Ephraim being rerouted to a prison off lothal. He tries to act quickly, if he doesn't persue Mira and Ephraim now they'll be lost but he can't bring Ezra with him deeper into the Empire.
Tseebo disappears, and Ezra refuses to be found, Morad tries to reassure him that he and Marida will find him. Kallus tries to work as quickly as possible to find Mira & Ephraim and bring them home. Stars, let him find them within a couple months.
^^^^^ [this is an organization of thoughts I've been trying to figure out and finalize for months now. ]
The Search for Mira&Ephraim//part ii
The next section will pick up right after that and through to s2e11, the era of Kallus searching for Mira & Ephraim, becoming more and more desperate as time goes on.
He helps any rebel cells when he has the chance and smuggles imperial captives away. He works with Morad and Marida when he has the chances.
Over the course of this arc, he grows closer to Marida. She's still very reluctant. Morad has helped Kallus from completely neglecting himself. He tells Kallus how they have been able to find ways to make sure Ezra is getting food and proper clothing, but any time they even see him, Ezra disappears. Steadily avoiding them.
Kallus makes himself blend back into the empire. Figures out how to produce results by framing imperial supports who actively commit crimes themselves. This aids him in gaining ranks, the higher his rank, the more classified information he's given access to.
Though, he's moved up to ISB-051 and still can't find the Mira & Ephraim.
I'm thinking of having Kallus fake Tua's death. Passes her more information to give to the rebels in addition to what she has.
Fulcrum//part iii
This would be everything from after Mira&Ephraim's deaths up to the liberation of lothal.
---
Epilogue
And then the epilogue was originally just going to be maybe a couple additional lengthy chapters of afterwards.
But I thank @mystical-salamander for going back and forth with me so much in the comments of this post because Defectors will be getting an entire spinoff as an epilogue.
So there will be
-The Concept Dump of Defectors AU
-The Fic Itself
-The Epilogue Spinoff
-and then collection one-shots that aren't part of the main story or that explore possibilities that didn't make it to the 'canon' of the au.
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*vibrating intensely* hi please tell me your autistic Mickey headcanons I'm collecting them
ohhhh i have so many thoughts
ive already talked about this ad nauseum previously but i always have time to discuss my favorites autist
his hatred of sleeves is totally an autistic thing. he just hates sleeves, specifically anything thats not long sleeved or sleeveless
he seems to prefer warm weather. he bundles up sooo much in the winter and he talks about moving back to mexico in s11. he would rather go back to prison than move any more north than chicago
i am once again mentioning that compulsory heterosexuality is absolutely part of mickeys masking. he seems to not gaf about masking about a lot of "typical" autistic things like not understanding social cues/rules or lacking conversation skills. a lot of his masking is more survival based like seeming straight and masculine and tough
^ which makes sense that when he starts unmasking, he likes patterned/hawaiian shirts :') he loves how visually simulating they are and he can tolerate the sleeves bc the fabric is very breathable and light
he really likes loud sounds specifically loud music and ambient/outside sounds like the ones he looks up in s11 to help him fall asleep :) he seems like the kinda person who can only do one thing as once, ie cant listen to music and play video games at the same time. when he does something he has to Devote Himself To It. if hes listen to music thats what hes doing. hes gonna sit there with his giant ass headphones on and stim or just cover his eyes and focus on the lyrics. hes s natural loud talker. he could yell over a jet engine if he wanted to. altho he doesnt like people raising his voice at him for obvious reasons. he cant stand pure silence it makes his skin crawl. ian loves his peace and quiet so mickey often throws on his headphones for parallel play. ian cooks or reads his book in quiet and mickey listens to deftones or doomscrolls on tiktok. parallel play becomes a huuuuge part of their bonding as a married couple :)
when he gets overwhelmed he completely shuts everything out. he acts like a cornered animal and lashes out at anything even if someone is trying to help. he needs space until he calms down or he'll have a meltdown and start throwing/breaking things or causing physical harm. sometimes he becomes too overwhelmed too quickly and completely skips the "shutting everyone out" stage and go straight to getting physical
he stims a lot by hitting or throwing stuff so ian trains him to use soft things like pillows and plushies (he absolutely has a plushie collection) when stimming. i think he also hits himself on the head sometimes. :( (totally not projecting) but be mainly sticks to his regular stims like messing with his eyebrows, chewing his nails, and biting his lip. he has an oral fixation! ian gets him a chew necklace. he likes singing and dancing with ian tho hed never admit it. he likes flapping his hands and jumping but hes still too embarrassed to ever do them. he unconsciously sways and rocks, especially if hes in the same spot for a long time
ian absolutely buys mickeys most of his sensory/stimming shit. lights, weighted blanket, spinner ring, chew jewelry, peelable clear nail polish, bike chain (which we see mickey has on his bedside table in s5 so i 1000% believe this was his first stim toy!!!) toy, tangles, different types of plushies (squishmallow, squishables, jellycat, reversible octopus (mickeys fav they both have at least one for every possible emotion), plushie dreadfuls, palm pals, different shapes and textured fabrics.) ian often steals a lot of these plushies; they are their first children. after they move back to the southside and are doing some work on their house, ian notices mickey still needs the catharsis of breaking shit, so sometimes they go on dates to the junkyard with baseball bats and destroy shit together
mickey literally cant be in the same room with ian when he eats his eggs with ketchup. the concept itself is so gross he cant tolerate it
hes very sensory seeking, again partly because of his oral fixation. he likes spicy food and LOVES sour food. obviously he loves candy and junk food. they have lamps, other small lights, and color changing led lights all over their home. eventually they both fall into a routine of communicating nonverbally using different colors of lights
mickey isnt great at communicating verbally tho he tries. sometimes he just cant, its too overwhelming and he cant think of the words to properly express himself. hes much better at conveying his thoughts thru physical means. this is part autism, part learned during childhood
he learned literally everything he knows about society thru movies. he uses a lot of old slang and makes niche references. he refuses to explain any of them to ian
sometimes he goes nonverbal and he texts only using (sometimes too many) emojis and reaction images that nobody gets except him
most people think hes weird and dont get his sense of humor but ian thinks hes the funniest person on the planet! they often make references to inside jokes in front of other people and it annoys the shit out of everyone
ok i have to stop now or im gonna go on forever thank you for the ask
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vaguely-yandere · 2 years
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Hear me out, a darling with really, really bad eyesight. I have -6 in each eye, and let me tell you I can't see six inches in front of my face without my glasses on. I just imagine the Yandere using this to their advantage. Because without my glasses, I couldn't cook for myself. I couldn't drive. I certainly couldn't escape. I wouldn't be able to give a physical description of my captor beyond height and skin color. Without glasses, a Darling like me would be completely at their mercy. When they misbehave, they're subject to near blindness, and when they behave they get to see again. They lay in their cage at night, unaware of their darling in the shadows just a foot away from them. They tease their Darling by showing them the combination lock to their cage, but it's too far away to make out the numbers. When picking their outfits for the day, they obscure skimpier ones on pillows of a similar color, making them appear more robust than they truly are. Their poor helpless darling. Real Velma Dinkly "My glasses, my glasses! I can't see without my glasses" vibe.
yes yES YES!!!!!! ive got around -5 and its rapidly declining due to #genetics lmao and ive always thought id be screwed if i got kidnapped and lost my glasses
i think darling would get wrinkles early from all their squinting, regularly tripping on small things that seem to blend in with the floor, having to feel their way around if the room isnt insanely bright, trying every trick in the book to gain just a little bit more sight, having to hold things an inch away from their eye to actually read it and if they have astigmatism? double fucked. having to close one eye when trying to read something farther away (doesnt work), having to close the other when reading things up close (doesnt work, just an overall mess akejlfhrfhbl
poor thing, this only encourages their yandere to always be there, by their side, always helping when their darling needs it. even uses neon tape to define corners, chairs, furniture so darling can walk around without clipping their hip or shoulder on everything! itd be even funnier if yandere didnt rly understand their darlings poor eyesight, not understanding just how blurry everything is and asking stupid questions like "how many fingers am i holding up?" "why do you take ur glasses off when ur on ur phone?"(i always get headaches/cant focus if i wear my glasses while looking at a close screen) "how did you know what i was watching without your glasses on?" (COLORS also VOICES) "how did you know your wearing lingerie?!" (DARLING CAN STILL FEEL LACE AND LACK OF COVERAGE, DUMBASS!!)
just. foolish things lakdjhfadf
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jokestodiefor · 10 days
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Kind of annoying how a lot of anti psych seems focused on not liking how mental illness is categorized and labels, as if thats the issue and not the inherent power imbalance between doctor and patient. Labels that talk about clusters of symptoms that appear together commonly are actually incredibly helpful for finding community and resources from people who also experience those things, and you can pry the NPD label from my cold dead hands.
Not to mention that not using categories will not reduce stigma or abuse, since the problem is the behaviours and symptoms themselves are stigmatized, and the psych industry is inherently abusive no matter how they talk about us because of the ungodly power they are given over us. Taking away my label just takes away my community and ways to cope which I only found once I realized it was NPD. Before that i had no framework to understand my symptoms and was having a much worse time and thought I was just abnormal and hated myself.
Focus on the actual issues of doctors having too much control over patients and patients having things done to them involuntarily or not being listened to and not being able to make their own treatment decisions. Destigmatize the labels, don't try to destroy them. Because I and many others are going to continue to use them regardless of whats in the official diagnoses books. And people arent going to not be ableist bc I lack a label. Lacking a label in fact makes it worse, because otherwise they go 'oh its bc they are crazy!!' But if you have a label and know how that disorder works it can be explained to them. Sociatally we need to promote compassion and understanding for different disorders and taking away the language just makes it harder to do that because we wont have a way to talk about it.
It does need to be recognized more that these things are often caused by trauma, the lines between labels are fluid and arbitrary, and people with these labels are not monsters, but that doesnt mean that they are never useful and cant be a tool of liberation and self identity for many people
Its fine if you dont want a label and want to be symptom focused but thats really not what the source of ableism or psych abuse is even though diagnoses can be used as a tool to abuse someone. But any thing can be used that way. We need to take away their control over us entirely so they cannot use anything to abuse us no matter how icky they think we are. Bc they are going to judge us for our symptoms even without a diagnoses. And i am never going to stop using a label that helped me find community, resources, and the ability to treat myself with love and respect for the way that I am.
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phantomdecibel · 2 years
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FUCK you: re-canonifies your Flower!AU
Anyways what if Polites actually still dies flower au au (bit o context in the tags, just so this drabble makes a bit more sense since it doesnt exactly follow canon aha-)
Rattlesnake Root
shield, step carefully.
Watching Ajax rush across the deck, calling out orders while cradling little Astyanax in his arms, the realization hit Odysseus like a brick.
This is what Polites had meant.
Eurylochus’s voice still echoed in his ears — but Odysseus wasn’t hearing any of it. Everything sounded muffled, like he was listening to (one of) his best friend chew him out from underwater. He must have started yelling louder, because the teenager glanced over at the two of them, something Odysseus hesitated to label as anything other than concern written across his face.
He wanted to yell.
He wanted to scream, keep shooting venom like arrows, jump up and pace, even.
Instead he stood, hands clasped over the rail, staring blankly past the blurred shape of his friend. It was both too loud and yet too quiet and annoyingly chilly and somehow everything was way too bright. It felt like there should be a storm brewing overhead, yet the only rain falling came from his eyes. The sun shone down unapologetically overhead, and Odysseus fought back an unintelligible scream.
This is what Polites had meant, what he’d pleaded back in that forest.
If you don’t talk to us, if you don’t trust us, then how can we help?
He’d thought he’d had it all under control, that his own hangups weren’t affecting anyone else, but clearly he’d been wrong. Maybe it was the lack of sleep, or just plain ignorance, but Odysseus had fucked up, pushed too far.
He wanted to sob.
He was already crying, Odysseus realized in a vague, sort of detached way. His face felt… damp, and tight from the salt already starting to dry. Something hit his hand; again and again and again, and rolled down his knuckles.
Eurylochus yelled again, throwing his arms out, and Odysseus flinched.
How long had this been brewing?
How long had he been pushing his crew, his friends to the edge? For how long had he been pushing them to the side, ignoring their concerns and needs, forcing them to pick up his slack?
…when had his efforts to protect them start to hurt instead?
Slowly, Eurylochus’s face came back into focus.
His mouth moved and Odysseus could, technically, hear him still, but the words themselves were lost to the buzzing in his head. The tilt to his eyebrows would have looked angry — really, really angry — to anyone else, but Odysseus knew his friend. Eurylochus was angry, sure, but mostly he was just worried (and tired, so tired, and grieving, too). The man’s eyes glistened wetly, shining with unshed tears.
Odysseus barely noticed as he started to shake.
He did this. This was his fault, the result of his negligence. Polites was dead because of him, and now he was driving away the other person he should be supporting, looking after the most.
Odysseus clenched the rail tighter, clearly hearing it creak under his grip. Eurylochus’s voice faded in and out, nothing but background noise.
He’d failed.
Odysseus blinked once, twice, trying to alleviate the pressure growing behind his eyes. The tears, which had been slowing, built again, suddenly, and everything was just too much.
Oh. He dimly realized again. I did this.
And Odysseus…
…Odysseus broke.
Odysseus broke, tears falling like a waterfall. He choked on a sob, shaking violently, as his knees wobbled and knocked together. Eurylochus’s voice, angry and harsh, snapped back into focus, and Odysseus keened weakly.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered, falling to his knees as he swallowed back another sob. “I’m sorry-“
Desperately, shaking all the while, Odysseus clutched at his friend’s chiton, head pressed to Eurylochus’s knee. “I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry-“
Eurylochus’s angry rant trailed off into shocked silence as Odysseus tripped over his words. Apology after apology spilled from his lips as he sat shaking on the wooden deck of the ship, legs collapsed awkwardly beneath him. He didn’t dare look up as silence crashed against the ship like Polyphemus’s club crashing against men and stone, just kept choking out desperate apologies into the empty, oppressive air.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered, sobbed, like a mantra. “I’m sorry,”
The moment seemed to stretch for an eternity; a terrifying, heart-stopping eternity.
He couldn’t do this.
Odysseus- he couldn’t. He’d tried, fuck he’d tried. Tried to carry every burden he could, tried to protect his people, and look where they were now.
It was all a mess, a fucking disaster.
And- and Polites was gone, now, really truly gone, never-coming-back gone.
Dead.
And Eurylochus would be too- not dead, not if Odysseus had any say in it, but gone, leaving.
Leaving him, because Eurylochus would do what was best for the crew.
Odysseus was just dead weight.
The leg he leaned against, clutched in desperation, was pulled back, and Odysseus let it go.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered again, trying and failing to blink away his tears as his hands dropped down to dig his nails into his own knees instead. Something thudded against the ground ahead of him, but all Odysseus could think was ‘this is it’.
This is it, this is where his friend, his last surviving best friend, his brother, even, left him.
And by the gods if he didn’t deserve it.
“‘msorry,” his words slurred together. “‘msrry’msorry,”
He deserved this, for hurting his friend and daring to proclaim otherwise. Why should Eurylochus stick around? Odysseus wasn’t worth the work. He hunched in on himself some more.
“‘msorry,” he might have begged. Please don’t go. You have every right to, but please, please. Don’t leave me. “‘msrrymsrrymsor-“
Odysseus coughed.
Oh, that was odd.
He couldn’t breathe, for a moment there, air knocked from his lungs as his chest collided with something warm and solid. Something strong tugged his forwards, pulled him tight against it.
Warm arms wrapped around his shoulders, and Odysseus suddenly found his head tucked into the crook of Eurylochus’s neck as he shook. He tried to choke out another apology, but Eurylochus held him too tightly to properly speak the words.
Oh.
Oh.
Odysseus shook some more, hands slowly worming their way from his knees to clutch this time at the front of his friend’s chiton.
Eurylochus was hugging him.
Eurylochus. was hugging him.
Odysseus sobbed again.
“I’m sorry,” he managed to force out again, but Eurylochus just pulled him impossibly closer.
“It’s okay,” his friend whispered, voice hoarse. “It’s going to be okay.”
mans is a bit harsh on himself :,)
He doesn’t q u i t e get the point, but he’s getting there-
Anyways so flower au; asty lives and also @hahahaghosty and I are soft for lil ajax :P
I know I always say this, but they were a huge inspiration for this (bc they fuel me w like 75% of my writing ideas lmao-), so thank you a whole lot!! wouldn’t be possible without ya :) they're really fucking awesome, go check out their stuff!! do it- Do It Now-
anyways that all from me for now, thanks for reading :P
(me: check out the tags for some context :) also me: throws way to much shit in them-
just. just read the beginning and end and itll all make sense if u wanna)
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dreamychuu · 2 years
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Hi! Could I request a scenario where keito has a crush on a gn reader and he finally asks them out after gaining the confidence/courage?
Thank you so much, and do take care! Lots of love 💕💕💕
A/n : do u guys know that keito is a hopeless romantic! Huh, what? You ask for source? The source is that i made it up ‼️
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₊˚ପ⊹ - is this... Supposed to be this complicated?
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╰┈➤ - warning/info = gn!reader, "!" Era, keito is an hopeless romantic.
-
✿ - Keito never understood the complex of "being in love" that his classmate's, unit mate, and others experience.
he always thoughts confessing to someone is easy. "All they has to do is to admit the romantic feelings and it's over" Or at the same time he doesnt care about it at all.
but for some reason lately he's started to develop feelings for a certain someone.
And the certain someone is you.
whenever he's near you, he can feel his heartbeat going faster, as smiles apper on his face after chatting with you, and the fact that he always appears when someone talks about you whether it's good or bad topics.
At first he didn't notice how he act like that, until finally the student council president or so we called eichi pointed it out to him and told him maybe he was in love.
With a bit of shock he started to re-think about it, maybe eichi was right?.
now he understood the complex problem people around him feel about being in love!
As times went by... He cant stop thinking about you..
He then start to be so desperate because he lacked focus on his work just because of the feeling.
he then asked the so called love expert "hakaze Kaoru" To helped him.
Of course, the blonde haired man was in shock, he never thought "the always serious student council vice president" ask him about love!
and that's how he learned that if he wants to confess to someone, it's better to ask them out first.
because that way he can know whether the person he likes is interested in him or not.
Keito still doesn't feel he is ready, yet.. He already thinking about just sending a small letter to you, but Kaoru was against it and said that it was a way that coward's choose.
keito was a bit offended but still complied with him.
everyday he's always trying to test his courage in front of you, by being nicer to you or spending more time with you, which surprises you a bit.
As if an angel bless him.. in the end he was sure that it was time for him to ask you out!
And unfortunately he still used his original idea to just sent a letter through your friend so you know that he want you to meet him after school.
believe me, he so nervous! he even wrote various scripts that he could tell you...
even a few days before, mao had seen keito's desk full of papers filled with many kind of scripts while keito can be seen fell asleep in the middle of writing another one.
the school bell finally rang as you packing up your things and went to the place marked on the letter.
once you get there you can see the dear vice president already there.
You greeted him and asked why he asked you to met him after school.
"Do you know about the cafe near here? Yes, the cafe that's two blocks from here, I hear they serve's great foods , even though the food is not that healthy for an idol or anyone, there are still many people who like to go there and actually the scenery there is quite mesmerizing with lots of different kinds of flowers that are put up there as well, making the cafe stand out more... I also still have a lot of student work so if I go there maybe it's rare or you could say only once.. talking about flowers earlier I realized that there are flowers that remind me of you then I can also count you as reliable to help me so with that I hope you can help me and go with me there after school the day after tomorrow ," he answered by giving you the same length as the lecture he always gave.
"So , keito is asking me out?", you ask
Keito, who didn't expect that you realized it, only looked down so you wouldn't see his face that was starting to turn red.
Seeing his reaction you then continue your words by saying that you were just kidding and you accepted his offer.
when keito wanted to say something else you heard your name being called by your friend as you immediately said goodbye and left him.
You may not have seen it.. but he smiled after hearing that you accepted his offer
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kotoneshiomiofficial · 2 months
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i also think imo a lot of ppl assume they were gifted kids when they actually weren't....? like i have a lot of the same feelings of "I did school naturally" but I was a B average student in middle school. and then i started failing in high school..i think most people (not saying this judgementally, i started fucking up in 5th grade~10yo) do school from elementary to middle school "naturally" since there isnt as much homework until high school. i also dont think taking AP/honors classes should really count as "gifted"........especially since, tbh, at least from my experience if youre struggling or have SSD/IEP/special ed (like i was in highschool) they just assume you cant do those classes in the first place. they dont even offer them. whereas if you dont, they assume you Can do them by default. the whole conversation is basically just internalized ableism..."oh, im not as good as the default like i thought i was, im actually at stupid sped student level!!". <- this is the subtext to the discourse which is so gross since most of them dont even realize this. i think the amount of ppl who can actually be defined as "gifted" are those who skip grades...which is def not who dominates the conversation lol. and like you said it really undermines the fact that people are struggling so much more just to stay afloat in grade school and there should be much more attention paid to how we are being harmed systematically by the education system rather than "i never learnt how to study bc everything came easy to me and now i have anxiety". not to mention things like the lack of support in general coincides to diagnosis being the only thing that officially Validates the need for help in the eyes of school administrators, but even then the barriers to diagnosis are vast and numerous. (economic, parents doing medical neglect and not believing you need help so the school system doesnt either lmfao, etc). but even then...i was in the therapeutic/psychiatric circuit (2 times inpatient hospitalization , 3 times partial, a bazillion therapists and medications) since i was 10 years old and neverrrr got diagnosed with adhd until i looked for an adhd specialist myself. not a single non-specialist recognized any symptom....... we are literally screwed systematically and ppl want to focus on labels like "gifted kid". + a big issue with college in particular that no one brings up is that beyond the stupid fucking costs that punish failure, the more painful college is the more "prestigious" it's seen to be. they do not actually want it to be accessible. yale got into trouble recently for kicking out their suicidal students, lol. they do not want anyone who struggles to be there and tarnish their reputation. just like how "gifted kids" are more upset their reputation as gifted was tarnished because of their icky brains. sorry if none of that made any sense/was very US-centric, i am 100% agreeing with you if none of that was clear.
i think you're right. thats what my last comment was about, how a lot of the discourse seems to center around "well i WAS doing so well but then i did bad and everyone started treating me badly". its treating the adults reaction as legitimate when its absolutely not.
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paperstorm · 11 months
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Rewatched 911 Lonestar ‘Abandoned’ 4x04 the other day… God, the storyline and the acting were top tier in this one in my opinion- anyways I’m curious to hear your take on this since I’ve thought about this since the day it aired… Did you feel taken aback by Gabriel’s words to TK when he was spiraling at the Austin PD about the possibility of not finding Carlos alive?
When he tells TK ‘If there are tears to weep, we do it when the time comes.’ -I just find those words to be so not comforting at all and I still don’t know how to interpret his words to TK?
Not sure if Gabriel is telling TK to ‘suck it up buttercup cuz there’s no crying allowed’ or if he is telling TK to calm it down so they can work to help Carlos… maybe a little of both? My heart breaks a bit at the thought of Carlos growing up with that on the regular… anyway not trying to be negative, but curious if maybe you or anyone else felt the same way about this scene? I miss the show so much and everyone’s fic and content is keeping me alive during this hiatus!!
Oh interesting! I thought those words were so telling of who gabriel is as a person honestly. Because they aren’t said in the context of him trying to comfort TK, they’re said in the context of TK essentially implying that Gabriel’s lack of visible upset means he doesnt care. I’m sure Carlos did hear some boys-don’t-cry type messages as a kid, my own brothers did and we don’t live in a red state and aren’t Christian or conservative or from a culture of machismo. But that’s not what Gabriel is saying in that scene, at least that’s not how I interpreted it. He’s saying “my focus right now is doing everything I can to save my son because he is running out of time, but don’t you dare suggest that the fact that I’m not crying means I don’t love him with my whole heart.” He is a stoic man, a traditional man, he has maybe a somewhat rigid idea of masculinity based on his own upbringing and the world he lives in, but he loves Carlos with every inch of his being and I don’t think it’s ever clearer than it is in that scene.
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nancydrewwouldnever · 2 years
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So I have question that I think you may have an answer to since you have knowledge about how PR works. Some are thinking this is PR because he hasn't been seen with a gf in so long and it doesnt look good. But does the GP even care whether he is single or not? Im honestly very curious about this. Like I know I've never watched anything based on the lead actors personal life whether they are single, married, dating around and the same goes with the people around me. I dont think the GP dives deep into an actor's life to make decisions on whether they are going to consume the actors content even if he is playing a romantic lead unless it is something serious like Armie Hammer. The only people actually caring about his relationship status we're probably his stans and I doubt they really cared if he was single. They would watch his movies regardless. And if his team was trying to get more attention from the GP and less from the fandom, I dont see how they thought this would help. Like yes it would get him attention but again a lot of regular movie goers dont care about that.
I dont think anyone was questioning his lack of a steady relationship, people we're actually loving on him. He had a good image with people, I didnt even see the media questioning him not having a gf for a few years. He was being showered with praise and love. He was the dog loving, internet boyfriend, standing against Trump guy and now he killed it all for a maybe PR relationship that he didnt even seem to need.
Well, there's a level at which relationships/relationship status are used to sell a celeb's image and projects in general. It's the more "human interest" side of the PR that gets pumped out more to outlets that focus on the minivan majority and casual tabloid peruser in the grocery store check out aisle. This is a very broad GP appeal that is just kind of background noise. But even background noise can affect choices, and we may not always realize it. So, yeah, having glanced at a quick soundbite on ET about an actor's new relationship while you were doing the dishes might make you subliminally choose a movie later that night on your streaming service. You never know. That's why broad based PR is still done. It's all an avenue of selling a product, in this case the product being a person.
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